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#used quote for this and I loved it so much had to draw it
ichthyorelationships · 3 months
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ideas: i didn't really think of him being underwater but they deserve to have drama by crying there too so i just think you could say something about the composition being denser than water or w/e. proteins
i'm always like good thing he didn't try to exit asap via swimming in ciao alberto But What If He Did lol. just swim Somewhere else along the coast, maybe panic about [money??] & whether somehow this ruins school for luca, whether he can get in touch w/o it being On Sight b/w him & all marcovaldos, consider just kind of trying out other places, traveling after all...fascinating considering the other povs on the issue like: now there's the paguros to sympathize w/a kid vanishing, luca however in a somewhat more novel position there, giulia's throwback to alberto being a bit perplexing lmao, kind of thinking the best massimo could do is have a prewritten letter for luca to give to alberto If Possible, conveying something like i know you didn't set my livelihood on fire on purpose but even if you did i'd want you to stay. and luca in a position to do all of "maybe give the island fun facts so someone can check if he's there" & "wait & hope alberto can/does get in touch" & "have a lot of feelings"....not even the context of what this drawing is about necessarily, just tacking it on here anyways. ahead of time i went "heh now i Know they're gonna have it get little Real here b/c it's really about alberto wanting the security of feeling he can 'earn' a sustained relationship" then the short cleared & i was lying completely dead on the pavement
#luca 2021#pixar luca#alberto scorfano#love when like ''yeah ofc you Could guess approx what would happen; b/c of The Themes & things following them''#but then like of course it still manages to Surprise. feels apt when like ppl doing some savvy media analysis can Guess along w/the film#like oh we're gonna fight here we might have our secret revealed here yep. then get caught off guard by alberto but 110% surprised by luca#even as ofc it all makes sense & is cohesive w/those Themes that have been unfolding; not just breaking w/the material to Surprise us#but still unpredictable. the whole movie being so vignettey (god bless. i live) allowing for a lot of that too like just Stuff Can Happen#someone can guess alberto's dad is not in the picture really but you could think oh he's been killed by humans. No lol...#or massimo lost an arm to sea monsters. but no. oh my god & this is how i realize i didn't draw alberto's arm scar hang on lol#okay there it is. here we go gays (me turning in for some rest at 8:15 am)#oh i read this picture book in the internet archive abt like A Parent Expressing Unconditional Love via conversation w/a child. hang on#''even if i did something awful'' by barbara shook hazen; i did think of it here. let me obtain a quote for effect...#[but what if i did something really truly awful?] [like what?] [like playing ball in the living room after you told me not to & breaking#the vase daddy gave you for your birthday even if i didn't mean to & it was an accident? would you still love me then?]#[i love you so much i'd love you if you Did mean to & it wasn't an accident. / but i might also be mad & yell things like 'i've told you a#thousand times!' & 'this is the last straw!' & 'i've had it with your disobeying!' & send you to your room with no dessert... / ...& cry a#little & pick up the pieces.] [i'll help.] [but i still love you no matter what; no matter how mad; no matter how awful. & i always will.]#so long as it's commitment to Actual support which; massimo already On That even before realizing like oh bereft And you're of the sea.....
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aeide-thea · 7 months
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ugh
saw a post with a quote that basically tidily summed up the rebuttal i'd half-started drafting to someone's post about how homosociality in tolkien ~queers amatonormativity~ [spoiler: on the contrary, male homosociality has been engaged in a three-way handshake with both misogynist heterosexuality and amatonormativity for literal millennia, and far from undermining them, more typically serves as essential reinforcement], so i was like, great, now i don't have to actually write that essay, i can just reblog this instead and tag it #tolkien! :)
but then, like a conscientious idiot, i went and dutifully looked up the book it was from, because i think it's irresponsible to cite excerpts whose context you aren't familiar with; and very predictably it turned out to be by a r*dfem and to make all sorts of claims abt so-called 'phallocratic culture' that i dislike, both as a trans person and ally myself and also as a logical thinker who can tell perfectly well from, you know, lived experience of our society that having a penis doesn't in fact confer ready social acceptance, never mind dominance, on people who don't otherwise look or act the part of a Proper Man, because ultimately what we reflexively defer to is a particular vibe, produced by a combination of physique and affect and other things besides, which may imply the presence of a penis but neither actually reveals nor necessitates one…
so like. ugh. probably i'm gonna have to write my own essay after all. :/
#i don't know much about marilyn frye and it doesn't look from a quick google as though she's on par with some of the really nasty t*rfs#but like. you don't have to be vitriolic to still be fundamentally approaching the world in a cissexist way#that gives too much credence to ideas abt Men and Women even as it resents them#like in this essay she comes out with shit like#'women generally have good experiential reason to associate negative values and feelings with penises'#and like. i don't identify as a woman but presumably a r*dfem would class me as a ''''female person'''' so like.#speaking from that classification—can't relate!!#(i mean‚ dgmw‚ i don't want to be dismissive of experiences that were forced‚ or coercive‚ or consensual but painful‚ or or or)#(and it's not that i haven't myself had experiences where people were bad about consent with me)#(but personally i would say i associate negative values and feelings with those *people* and their *behavior‚* not with Penises per se.)#and maybe it's just like. that i'm speaking after literally 50 years of gender progress#like frye does in fact concede that a reframed relationship to penises would be an improvement#(''if penises were enjoyed a good deal more and worshipped a great deal less‚ everyone's understanding of… power and of love would change#beyond recognition and much for the better'')#so maybe it's just like. hi that's me! i'm there! enjoying them! :)#but i just feel like. i don't need to be drawing from a well that takes cisheteronormative constructs this much for granted#and thinks the way to escape them is separatism#as if the knife that cuts Women away from Men weren't cutting some of us in half‚ not 2 mention being itself a cisheteronormative construct#but like. the decontextualized quote really was tempting… :/#anyway. some people vent about normal things; i vent about shit like this‚ i guess!
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mokeonn · 4 months
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Man I gotta get started on that dnd comic idea I've had for a while because if yall like Poetry yall are REALLY gonna like Mystery
#simon says#I might actually make Mystery and Poetry 'sisters'#it's in quotes because Poetry is an Asmodeus tiefling and Mystery is a reborn#to be more specific#Mystery is a Reborn made of 3 Zariel tieflings an Asmodeus tiefling a white dragonborn and a gnome#they're both tieflings but Poetry is also a bard and they're different kinds of tieflings. one fae one infernal#but I think they'd get along well#but yeah I realized 'oh boy if yall like this little pink ball of sunshine get ready for a little yellow ball of sunshine!'#I'll have to draw art tomorrow after work but I do like the idea of Mystery and Poetry being found family of some sort#mainly because I think they would get along#they're both silly little warlocks#but yeah I really need to get that dnd comic idea started#i had this idea for a while and im really attached to it#i wanna get back into making comics and I wanna use these dnd characters while not getting rid of their dnd-ness#I'll probably post about it more this year#i got like two projects im working on out of passion and my love of the crafts (video games and comics)#but I'm also working on making an income from my art or just finding a job i enjoy that suits me#whatever comes first#but yeah I am absolutely gonna talk about my characters more soon because I love them so much and I just KNOW yall will love them too#they're very loveable little guys#a group of the fantasy equivalent of 20-something adventurers#specifically 4 of them#i HAVE been debating on adding one more but that might just be a later addition to the cast or not at all#I'll absolutely post about them more as I work on the comic#I'm worried about posting about it now since like#the designs could change??#like the characters themselves are set in stone but i am STRUGGLING with outfit design#gonna have to figure out some comfy camp outfits or something so I can draw and post them here before I decide on their main outfits#except Cardamon he's perfect just the way he is#I got his wizardly swag down perfectly on the second try
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byakuyasdarling · 1 year
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I hate randomly blocking people that follow me for no reason other than “what they draw makes me uncomfortable” because it illustrates a fundamental misunderstanding of MY SCRIMBLO (/lh). I understand it’s simply conjecture, but people who highlight that part of his light novel (a part that was revealed to be a dream and not close to canonicity) bother me a lot.
#in short… I hate the Pol//aris P Po//lanski shit#14 year old D//GR fans will be like ‘I know so much about Byakuya 🥺🥺 I read a brief synopsis of his light novel and completely -#misinterpretated this whole plot point and the majority of his quotes!!’#if you didn’t know: in the light novel he has to cross dress to get into the Legacy Crown Championship#(which decides who is head male - and who gets exhiled)#but if you BOTHERED to read the ending of the dubiously canon novel and his CANON LINES you would know that the plot is actually all in -#-Bl//ue Ink’s head (his step sister who ‘documents’ his legacy as he thinks he is destined to win)#- false memories. I can’t EXACTLY remember why but it was only a dubious recollection of actual events — and in-game and in the novel -#-Byakuya is recognised as#- one of the 15 ‘gold rank’ Tog//ami siblings and therefore never needed to cross-dress to get into the race in the first place#also the book is just hella confusing and awfully gruesome LMAO#but the drawing had his disguise in glasses when Pol//aris wore contacts!! because in the novel Byakuya states he finds glasses unappealing-#-on a woman. though fashionable for himself as a man (thanks ‘Kuya… I have 20/20 vision and I still hate that).#so yeah I was mega uncomfortable for no reason I’m just pedantic and I hate the fandom (for the most part)#I love you guys though LMAO#sorry I sounded like a gatekeeper LOL#I’ve ran into like… 3 more wives of Byakuya and I do actually really like their content and was okay with them but I didn’t interact beyond-#- a cursory glance because I don’t want to risk myself being uncomfortable or anyone else. I only have a lot of warnings because there are -#-fringe cases I really hate. so I have to use umbrella terms.#(so I am not THAT BAD. but I can be especially with the non-canon Pola//ris stuff and blatant misinterpretation#I FEEL SO MEAN.#not good for business.
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cyberjam · 11 months
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ATSV HEADCANON: they have a crush on you . . . ☆
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warnings - none really, super fluffy and adorable :), semi-proof read so i apologize for grammatical errors if there are any! no use of name or y/n, gender-neutral reader!
word count - 2.1k
main masterlist <3
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☆ . . . miles morales
I imagine you two already being well-acquainted friends with each other once he realized his feelings for you. For quite some time he had a crush on gwen but now his heart strings are pulling him towards you, so he's struggling when it comes to addressing his feelings.
If you're in the same room as Miles, he will stare. Any conversation that he was having before is long forgotten and all that's on his mind is you.
Miles doesn't need to study, he's one of the top students in school. But he continues to go on study dates with you because he likes being in your presence and sharing his headphones with you while eating yummy pastries.
He has an entire journal dedicated to you. Said journal includes: small journal entries of his day with you, little quotes of the funny/cute things you've said that stuck with him throughout the day, candid drawings of you that he created whenever you two hung out, cute sketches of you and him stargazing or slow-dancing together (and other secret drawings of him saving you as spider-man and cradling your body in his big strong arms but we won't get into that...)
Miles really can't get enough of you. He laughs extra loud at your jokes even if they aren't funny, his heartbeat quickens at the mention of your name, he'll offer you his jacket even if you don't need it, he always smiles when something reminds him of you, he'll share his headphones with you and shyly ask if you and him can make a "study playlist" (he listens to it at night while drawing you), and overall is just madly in love with you.
He wants to be with you more than anything, he's just struggling to find the right time to ask you. <3
"Hey, don't touch that! It's- No! It's not a diary, it's just...secret."
☆ . . . gwen stacy
She's pretty awkward herself. You were assigned to be partners for a project that would play a big part in your final grade, she came off slightly cold and seemed to be annoyed at your presence which made your relationship start off rocky. In reality she was just stressed, juggling her spider duties, getting kicked out of her house, and then school on top of that, it was just a lot. But when you made the effort to plan things and work around her busy schedule (that you didn't really know anything about) she started to become grateful for you.
Your parents welcomed her kindly each time she came over to study and whenever she would leave she was happy with a full belly and a sore face from smiling and laughing with you all night. The project was supposed to be done by the end of the semester but you and gwen were able to finish it the first month you got it. That didn't stop her bi-weekly visits, that then turned weekly, until she was suddenly walking home with you everyday, from and to school.
She likes to compare hands, shoes, and height just to see the difference in sizes. On walks back from school she'll give you a piggyback ride if you ask nicely. She also likes laying her head in your lap, if you run your fingers through her hair she'd be fast-asleep within 5 minutes.
You and her tend to share your oversized clothes together, You always wash her jackets/sweaters after you wear them, which she absolutely loves. She's fallen asleep curled up in your hoodie, inhaling the scent and listening to whatever song you rambled about the previous morning on repeat until she finally asks you to just make her a playlist. Hobie definitely knows about you, only because she slipped up by saying too much.
She enjoys staying over your house during rainy days. She tends to tense up whenever you're watching tv together on your bed and your head falls on her shoulder. During missions in other spider-verses gwen has taken little souvenirs from different worlds and given them to you, she always does it in a nonchalant way as if she wasn't grinning ear to ear on her way back, excited to see how you'd react.
You don't have sleepovers often but when you do they always seem more intimate than your usual hangouts. When you wake up and see gwen flustered on the other side of the bed you never understand why, not knowing that when you were fast asleep she woke up cuddled into you, nuzzling her body into yours.
"I-uhm. I-uh just had a weird dream. Nothing to worry about, heh.."
☆ . . . pavitr prabhakar
It's very obvious he has a crush on you, it might as well be written on his forehead. He follows you around like a lost puppy. He's constantly offering to carry your books, opening doors for you, paying for your snacks, and even giving you hand massages when you've been writing an essay for too long. He's just completely whipped for you and you're not even dating (yet).
You were a transfer student and he was assigned to show you around Mumbai. He found himself getting giddy at your cute reactions to the different sights he took you to. He adored how you were filled with so much curiosity and wonder, the awestruck look in your eyes when you saw the pretty lights at night and just how genuinely excited you seemed to stay and explore Mumbai. Since then, he's been glued to your side.
He's such a gentleman, you can tell he was raised right. Whenever you're talking his full attention is on you, nobody else matters in this moment but you. He'll even get a bit upset if someone cuts you off, ignoring whatever they're saying and urging you to continue. His legs feel wobbly around you, he gets dizzy at the sight of you, and he feels like he's floating whenever you smile at him.
There have been multiple occasions where you've caught him staring at you, depending on how he feels that day he'll either smirk and gently wave or quickly turn away with a blush on his face. He gushes about you to Hobie and Miles all of the time. They know so much about you and they've never even met you.
A true romantic. He buys you a singular flower one week out of the day, always explaining the meaning and where they originate from. (all of them are a variation of romance/love)
He tends to lean into you whenever you speak. More than one person has pointed out that you both tend to mirror each other's actions. He's feigning for your touch more than anything, a simple brush of your shoulders and he's full on putty in your hands.
He won't outright confront you when he figures out you like him, instead he'll invite you on a nightly walk. Taking you up to a rooftop with a gorgeous view, and gently resting his jacket on your shoulders. You'll sit for a while enjoying the scenery before he turns to you and says...
"a person as beautiful as yourself shouldn't wander this world alone.."
☆ . . . hobie brown
What a nightmare. He is constantly teasing and flirting with you. Always doubling over in laughter when he sees you get all flustered and the words you so badly wanna spew at him get stuck in your throat.
I imagine you both to be spider-people, you're a little more stuck-up than he is which is why he likes to tease you so much. Little by little your reactions fueled something deeper in him. He no-longer found himself flirting with you because he liked seeing how aggravated he could get you but because that was his way of approaching you and saying all of the things he wanted to while being able to play it off as a joke.
Besides teasing you relentlessly, he can be really caring and attentive to you when he wants to be. If you're in the medic he'll stop by pretty often to make sure you're okay. The only reason you found out is because you woke up to him fast asleep next to your bedside, feet propped on your bed and his vest laid across his torso like a blanket.
He'll eat the foods on your plate that you don't like. If you fall asleep he'll lay his vest onto your body and even move your position if it looks uncomfortable. If he senses danger before you he'll move you of the way as fast as he possibly can, but if he's not close enough he'll give you a heads up before anyone else. He tends to stare at you sometimes, always smiling gently to himself.
When you two get closer as friends he'll play any song on his guitar if you ask him nicely. He'll even give you lessons if you really want them. Carefully throwing his guitar over your torso, he brings his much larger hands to yours. You can feel his chest against your back, and the waves of his warm breath on your neck as he teaches you how to play. He'll also let you wear his jacket, saying it looks better on you than him. He might let you keep it, only in exchange for one of your jackets. (he sleeps with your jacket on, it makes him feel close to you.)
Hobie often checks up on you during missions, sometimes saying teasing phrases to get you riled up but mostly to make sure you're holding up okay. "you alright there, peaches? you took quite the hit."
Once he finds out you like him, he eases up on the teasing, but he doesn't refrain from dropping subtle hints of his knowingness that you like him. He's just waiting for you to finally say something.
"Yknow, if i ain't know any better i'd say you were doing this 'cause you like me."
☆ . . . miguel o' hara
You worked beside him in Alchemax, the two of you were assigned as partners. At first he didn't care much for you, simply telling you to stay out of his way and that he didn't need any help, but after Lyla practically forced him to be a cordial lab partner and work with you, he started to take a liking towards you. Sadly, it took months for him to tolerate you and even longer for him to like you.
Although he was quite stuck-up and practically seemed on edge most of the time, you were able to break through those confined walls and have a comfortable-playful work relationship with him. Every-time you made a joke or a light quip about his attitude he'd always respond with sarcasm, still not being able to hide the tiny smile that graced his face at your foolish acts.
He always runs his projects by you before submitting them. (and then lyla to triple check) He'll stop by and pick up empanadas from his favorite store, always boasting about how it's the best in Nueva York and you'll never taste anything better. Eventually he brings in a hefty share of empanadas that you two share over lunch time, your conversation flowing naturally without the teasing but with a fluffier feeling flowing through the air.
He pretends to be annoyed when he catches you over-working but he's genuinely worried for you. Always shaking his head in a disapproving way when he finds you fast asleep on your desk, papers scattered, and drool falling past your lips. Quietly scolding you in spanish before throwing his lab coat over your shoulders and organizing your papers neatly.
He tends to act unbothered when you do something that shows you care for him but in reality it makes his heart stutter and his stomach feel all loopy. He hates it because it makes him feel like a middle-schooler when they get their first crush but another part of him absolutely adores it and his main motivation to get up to go to work in the morning is you, although he'll never admit it.
If a co-worker is ever rude to you he will be the first to defend you, not hesitating to get in their face with a nasty scowl painting his features. On Friday's he made it his personal mission to walk you home, you two slowly walk side-by-side, quietly laughing to yourselves as you reminisce on lab accidents and old memories. There's a slight gleam in his eyes when you make it to your apartment door. He turns to you almost hesitantly, before stepping closer to you. He whispers a question, so quiet and soft you almost wouldn't be able to hear it.
"Can I kiss you?"
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omg i hope you guys liked it! requests are still open btw and thank you for reading! <3
likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated <33
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Beg You to Love Me
"I'm surprised you even remembered, Harrington," Eddie shrugs, hoping he comes off as aloof as he wants to, instead of shaky and unsure like he feels. He was sitting atop the picnic table, arms behind him trying to look as unaffected by Steve's presence as he can, but he's been thrown for a loop ever since Steve emerged from the woods instead of Robin Buckley, like he was expecting.
"Of course, I remember. I- I've never forgotten," Steve whispers, head down and fists clenched at his sides. He looks more like a child being wrongfully scolded than a man defending himself.
The words pull a scoff from Eddie, though. Never forgotten? What the fuck ever. "Right. Something to hold over me, then, if I'd stepped too far out of line? Mutually assured destruction?"
Steve's head snaps up and he looks horrified, which Eddie will admit to almost believing. Steve doesn't seem like the type to join the drama club but his acting's pretty fucking good. "What? No! I would have never- I would never have said anything about us to anyone."
"Right. Sure. Of course. Your own reputation to think about there."
Something like hurt flashes across Steve's face before it frosts over. This is the face he's used to see on Steve. Cold and distant. "I- whatever, man. I don't even know why I thought..." but Steve doesn't finish his sentence. He just shakes his head and turns his back on Eddie, heading back the way he came.
He doesn't know why that sparks a rage from deep within him. "Yeah, that's right. Tuck tail and runaway again!"
"I ran away?" Steve shouts back, turning sharply on his heel to glare at Eddie. "You think that I ran away?"
Eddie just spreads his hands to the empty clearing as if to say 'look at all this room around me you've never occupied'. "You weren't here, were you?"
"Because you told me to not be!" Steve stomps back to Eddie but stops a couple yards away.
"Like fuck I did," Eddie argues back, because he didn't tell Steve to go away. He'd told him-
"'If this isn't good enough for you, there's the fucking door.' That's what you told me," Steve quotes, "I thought it was pretty fucking clear what you wanted."
"Yeah, I fucking thought it was clear what I wanted," Eddie snarls, lunging from the picnic table, closing those last few feet to get into Steve's face. "Yet here we are!"
"Don't act like this is my fucking fault. Like you weren't the one who forced it to be my fault. My decision-"
"Yeah, it had to be your damn decision! You were dragging it out-"
"-because you were too much of a coward to do it your-fucking-self-"
"-acting like you were. Acting too good to actually slum it with the trailer trash-"
"-so of course I made the choice that was best for me. Because I deserved more-"
"-like what I had to offer you would never be good enough for the goddman King-"
"-than just being your hookup when I wanted to be-"
"-like I wasn't good enough to be your friend, much less-"
"-your fucking boyfriend!"
"-your fucking boyfriend!"
The contrast of this sudden silence that falls following their screaming match that ends with identical sentiments is jarring. Eddie feels wrong-footed and lost. Confusion and hurt mixing in him that he can see reflected on Steve's face.
"What?" Steve is the first to break the silence, drawing into himself. Arms crossing to hold himself at the elbows as he takes several steps back, as if to be able to see all of Eddie will clear the confusion he's feeling.
Eddie just stares back, slack jawed for a moment. That's. What. No, wait. Really, what? "What what?"
"You- you said 'if this isn't good enough for you, there's the fucking door'. How was I- I thought you- you were breaking up with me!" Steve cries, "you. You said that to make me pick, because you knew I wanted more and you didn't. That's- you were breaking up with me!"
Eddie's in just as much disbelief. "No, you broke up with me! I said if this isn't good enough but, like, I meant if I wasn't good enough. And you left! You walked out because I wasn't good enough to be with you!"
Steve looks stricken and he claws harder at himself, sort of folds into himself like he's going to be sick. "No. No no no, that's- then that means I- it's all been my fault. No no no no."
Eddie stares wide-eyed and frozen as Steve talks to himself. Eddie kind of feels nauseous. There's no way that this is possible. That these last two and a half years of heartbreak have been because of miscommunication. That they both thought the other was breaking up with them and neither actually wanted to.
"Why didn't you- Why didn't you say something?" Eddie asks.
Steve laughs at that, sounding a bit hysteric. "Me!? Why didn't you! I wasn't- I wasn't going to beg you to love me like I had with my parents. You were the one who told me I shouldn't have to do that!"
Yeah. He had. When Steve had broken down and cried on his bed, in his arms, wondering what it was he had done to lose his parents' love. Eddie told him it wasn't his fault, never would be, and that he would never need to beg for love from someone who does love him. It was the same advice Wayne had given him when he'd taken Eddie in.
"I already thought you were wanting to break up. You were being so distant, I thought..."
Steve sucks in a deep breath and nods, "Yeah. Yeah I was. I was scared of scaring you away. Of being too much. Because I- what I felt for you was a lot. I was afraid I'd chase you away if I continued to be so clingy. I pulled back, to reign it in but. Fuck. Fuck!"
Eddie drops to a squat. His legs feel like jelly and he can't keep standing. He squats and looks down so his hair becomes a curtain separating him from the reality of the situation, if only for a moment. Fuck is right.
He's spent his junior and first senior year being pissed at Steve. Hurt by him and what he thought happened. And it's- if Steve's being honest, it's all been for nothing. If they both wanted a deeper relationship, they could have had it. They might still be boyfriends if Eddie hadn't been so wrapped up in his Munson Doctrine. He'd been convincing himself Steve was embarrassed of him, and was working on breaking off their- whatever they were. But he hadn't been.
He's thought such terrible things about Steve over the years. God, what has Steve thought of him over the years? No. He doesn't want to know, actually. That's not what he cares about right now.
He lifts his head to see that Steve's plopped himself onto the ground, sitting cross legged, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.
"Steve. Steve!" He calls Steve's name out until he looks up, looks at him, "why'd you come out here?"
He laughs again, slightly less hysterically, and he's shaking his head like he can't believe what he's about to say. "I. Fuck, I was coming out here to beg you to love me."
"No you fucking weren't!" his tone is filled with disbelief.
"I was," Steve repeats, sounding amused and heartbroken at the same time. "I really, really was. Graduation's coming and I know you want to get out of Hawkins the second that happens and I'm. I was running out of time trying to get you to notice me again, so I was going to beg."
Notice him again? As if Steve doesn't haunt his every waking thought. As if he doesn't dream of Steve every night while his eyes seek him across the halls and in their few shared classes like he's the goddamn night sky and Eddie is a sailor lost at sea needing the north star to guide him home. Eddie's never not noticed him, and he thinks he has to come out here and beg? "When someone loves you, you don't have to beg."
"Yeah, I know," Steve sighs, defeated, which lets Eddie know that Steve does not, in fact, know. He looks away from Eddie, down to his lap.
Fuck, it's like every fantasy Eddie's had of them making up and then making out has been handed to him on a silver platter and he's blowing it. His words are too vague, too easily misinterpreted. Again. He falls forward on to his knees, hands catching him so he's on all fours like an animal. "Steve. I mean it. You don't have to beg."
"I get it, Eddie," Steve huffs, not looking at him. Not actually understanding.
Eddie starts to crawl the distance between them. Steve looks up then, probably to see what the fuck Eddie was doing with the shuffling sounds and the chain on his belt clacking. Eddie watches Steve's eyes go wide, mouth dropping open to a small 'o'. "See, the thing is, Steve," Eddie says, pulling himself up to be just on his knees to shuffle the last few inches closer. Steve leans back to keep his eyes on Eddie's face, which opens his lap up. "You said you know, but I don't think you do." Eddie brings his hands to rest on Steve's shoulders and Steve lets him. "You don't have to beg." He uses his hold on Steve's shoulders to balance himself as he swings a leg wide, to straddle Steve, then shifts his weight to repeat the process with his other leg before settling himself into Steve's lap. Steve's hands land on his hips and Eddie isn't sure if it's intentional or a reaction to Eddie plopping himself in his laps but he's going to believe it's the first one. "You've never had to beg with me."
Steve sucks in a sharp breath and then he collapses into Eddie. Steve's hands on his hips slide up and pull him into a hug, as close to Steve's body as he can get, while Steve shoves his head under Eddie's chin, into the junction of his neck and shoulder and breaths him in like it's the last breath Steve will ever take. "We're so stupid."
"Yeah," Eddie agrees, as he lifts one hand to hold the back of Steve's head while the other drops to rub soothingly at his back. "Yeah, we are."
They sit in the dirt, the closest they've been since that summer between '81 and '82. They should probably talk about. They're going to have to, if they want this to work. Full sentences with no hidden meanings, even though the thought of that kind of vulnerability makes Eddie skittish. It's going to be difficult, but it'll be worth it. Steve has always been worth it.
Eddie wants to say 'I love you', just to get it out, in the open, and not just implied, but there's a different first step to take. One that's actually a little easier. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Me too," Steve whispers, "I'm sorry. I should have-"
"Shut up," Eddie cuts him off, voice quiet and soft as he can be. "This is, and I cannot stress it enough, a we situation."
The huff of laughter on his skin from Steve feels like the start of something. A new beginning, a start over. A re-do.
A goddamn miracle.
Later, they'll drag themselves apart and up. Make it to the back of Eddie's van in the school parking lot to talk. Going to either's house feel too much, too soon. Their big fight happened at Eddie's home, and Steve's house isn't warm enough for the kind of comfort they want to share.
They'll have a talk. Filled with long pauses, stumbling over words and fears and insecurities because this is the hard part of a relationship. Getting it all out in the open so they can learn if they'll even work. The fear that they aren't going to be compatible anymore looms but doesn't deter. They both want a second chance, to give it a real shot, by the end of that first talk. But taking it slow.
They'll discuss what went wrong the first time (diving in without talking about anything certainly played a big part) and how to avoid that.
But that's later. Right now, Eddie just holds Steve, and Steve holds him back, and it certainly feels like the beginning of something good.
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems
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l3viat8an · 1 year
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☻ Obey me characters as TikTok ‘poetic rizz’ comments ☻
I’ve been collecting “rizz” TikTok comments so that I could post this jsjsjsjs (some of them are funny and ik a bunch of them are actually Edgar Allan Poe + others quotes!! but calling them rizz comments is funnier 🤭)
Lucifer
“I would rather have every single bone in my body broken than see you cry, for my body can be repaired, but your heart cannot.”
Mammon
“If I had a grimm for every time I though of you I would be a billionaire and the money I’d give to you.”
“I have 206 bones in my body, but when I see you I have 207!”
Levi
“I’m sorry I dont play call of duty. I only hear the call of your beauty”
Satan
“Without a pen or paper you still manage to draw my attention.”
“Your eyes are like clouds, for even when they fill with sorrow and drown the land, they paint the sky with unimagineable beauty.”
Asmo
“If beauty was the answer to all of my problems, you’d be the solution~”
“If I gave you a rose for everytime you crossed my heart, you would have but one, for you have never left.”
Beel
“Just as the autumn leaves, descend from the trees, I fall for you every season.”
“You must be wearing running shoes, because you have been running trough my mind since we  met.”
Belphie
“Me and the moon talk at night, the moon tells me about the sun and I tell the moon about you.”
“For centuries, humans have used the stars to guide them on their journeys, but everytime I look into your eyes, I get lost.” 
Diavolo
“If you are to be the sun, then I am to be Icarus, a fool fated to fall and burn before I even reach you. Yet even on wings of wax, I would fly to you.”
Solomon
“I don’t love you with my heart nor with my mind, I love you with my soul so even if I die it won’t stop…”
“Even if you had Medusa's curse, I would still look into your eyes. Although I will be turned to stone, I will be gazing at perfection for eternity.”
Barbatos
“They can say they love you, but I say, tell me every terrible thing you've done and let me love you anyway.”
“If I could express how much I love you with that phrase I would only say it once, for my love has come but it never goes so my statement holds true.”
Simeon
“Like a moth to a flame, I shall be eternally mesmerised by your warmth and mere existence, and I’ll give anything to hold you, even if it burns me”
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luveline · 11 months
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hi jade!! can i request something with the marauders (platonic or romantic) maybe reader has been real stressed with work or school and the marauders try to get her to relax once they realize how stressed she actually is?? ty! u don’t have to do this, it’s just a thought :))
thank you for your request my love, nearly romantic poly!marauders x fem!reader
James notices first, surprisingly. While Sirius is fluent in what goes unsaid, and Remus is more than familiar with stress, it's James who has learned to read his sometimes sulky friends, and so it's James who knows that your tight shoulders and your half-hearted smile are from more than being tired. 
He doesn't want to announce your potential upset upset the world, so he waits for Remus to get a drink while Sirius is in the loo and slides down the sofa toward you until you're sitting thigh to thigh. He doesn't ever want much space from you. He's fortunate that you feel the same. 
"What, James?" you ask, leaning on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" 
"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, solemn, so you know he's serious. 
"Why wouldn't I be okay?" 
"You just seem unhappy tonight, is all. You know you can tell me. Or if you don't want to tell me, you can tell one of the boys." 
Because you and your friends are in an incredibly weird (not weird, really, unexpected, but so full of love and sweetness that weird doesn't apply) situation in which you aren't dating anyone but it feels like you are. James imagines it as a sort of precipice, where you might choose one of them, or, in what seems the more unique but better fit, you might not choose at all. 
James only knows you feel the same way about them as they do about you because you'd confessed to Remus how guilty you feel for stringing them along. He reported back, and is quoted by himself to have said, Well, we must be stringing you along too. While I string James along, and Sirius strings me. 
So everybody fancies everybody and nobody knows what to do about it. (Well, apart from that one kiss between James and Remus, which went exceptionally well. James had known what to do about that). For tonight, nothing has to be done. All James needs to do is figure out how to make you feel better. 
Remus is offended at having had his seat stolen when he returns, but then he sees your sad face slack on James' big shoulder and forgets to be annoyed. Crouching down in front of you, Remus tilts his head to the side to align his face to yours, a frown mirrored on his lips as he asks, "What's wrong, dove?" 
The way he says it makes James pleased, and it also makes him like Remus impossibly more. James is earnest and ardent in wanting to comfort you, but Remus is very, very good at it. He has this seriousness, no-nonsense tone wrapped in a soft affection that could draw out James' very worst secrets. It's no surprise when you crack clean in two and confess.
"I'm really stressed out." Your voice takes a horrible dive, like you might cry. "Um, work is just hard, and I'm worried about money, too." 
James doesn't suppose you're in the depth of a relationship where it's appropriate to offer to bankroll you, and it's not what you want anyhow. He bites back any affluent admission in favour of a subtler approach. 
"You're worried about money?" he asks, gently as he can. "You aren't going without, are you? I really hope you'd tell us if it were bad." 
You shake your head. "I'm not going without. Don't worry, it's not that bad." But it could be, goes unsaid. 
Remus hums, his hand on your knee. "You know we care about you. Please, don't not tell us if you need something, okay?" His hand climbs the stretch of your thigh. "What's worrying you, dove? With work, are they giving you a hard time again?" 
Sirius returns somewhere in the midst of your talking, and he's absolutely horrified when a single tear bounds down your cheek. He squeezes between you and the armrest of the sofa to wipe your face as it comes, his weight almost entirely on top of you, so close that his hair tickles your cheek and neck. "Don't cry. I promise not to leave you alone with these two ever again," he jokes, though the tenderness with which he holds your face is nothing but sincere. 
James, sick of being the only one not comforting you physically, finds one of your hands to hold. It's smaller, and warm, and he pulls it to his chest as though that might hide you away from all the things that are freaking you out. 
To no one's shock, the boys are good listeners. Not always to each other, but what one lacks another can make up, and they manage to pull out from you your pack of troubles one by one. When that's done, they assuage each accompanying fear. 
If the very worst happens, you'll always have them to lean on. 
That makes you cry more than the stress. Grateful —though the last thing they're comforting you for is gratitude— you needle your arms around Sirius' waist and hide your face in his chest. He frowns down at you as he wraps you up tightly. James doesn't even feel jealous. Well, mostly, until Sirius kisses your forehead and James can actually see your happy shudder. Lucky for him, you aren't done. You squeeze Sirius before pulling away and turning to James. He realises then what made Sirius so bold, your whispered thank you like a vibration through his chest. He pats your back. 
"That's alright," he murmurs. 
You nod and squeeze and move on to Remus, who's been sitting at your feet for the last twenty minutes while you cry, concerned but not complaining. He's eager even if he won't say that, climbing to his feet so he can reach down for you and receive his own hug. James is a ridiculous romantic, and he just aches with affection for both of you as he watches Remus nose your cheek. When Remus finally pulls away, Sirius is looking at them with the same expression. 
"Do you feel better?" he asks you. 
You sniffle and wipe your nose with your sleeve sheepishly. "Yes. Thank you, boys. I really don't know what I'd do without you." 
James forgets restraint and swings his arm around your shoulder. "It's a good thing you'll never be without us, then," he says, and kisses your cheek.
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epiicaricacy-arts · 4 months
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oh we’re still so young, desperate for attention
this was super experimental so i will talk about my process (+ clearer version) under the cut
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i’ve been looking at a lot of “messier” or more textured painting styles recently and an artist that stuck out to me is clariondeluna ! they posted a self-portrait recently that i really liked and i was super interested in the brushwork seen in their work. i love all the textures and how the shapes feel so loose yet everything is so detailed.
that’s not a method for me at all!!!! i cannot paint like that at all and the stuff i like to paint is very different to theirs. which is okay!!!! i had no intention to copy this artists style so closely like with what i tried to do in my raiden painting, i just wanted to try this style out :^)
it’s been a goal of mine to avoid over-rendering like i tend to do a lot, and i think i’ve been doing good with that recently! the mindset i’ve got going on right now is that if i find myself staring at it too hard for too long, i have to leave it and move on. if there’s still something wrong with it, i can fix it later once ive got a fresh view!
i’ve been trying a lot of things with my art this year. i always try to challenge myself with each piece, and to end the year off i wanted to be as uncomfortable as i possibly could be with this painting. i let myself draw whatever i wanted because i still wanted to enjoy it, but everything i did in this process was new, including parts of the subject matter.
i’ve never drawn a head at an angle like this, and i struggle with drawing mouths open. i don’t do bold lighting like this, and if i do, it’s not fire. i’ve never drawn fire! i also rarely work with warm colours and i hate using green, so i combined those to be my colour palette. i like working cleanly so instead of having a dozen different layers for one section, each section only had 1-2 layers for rendering. instead of clipping masks i would simply paint over things loosely and clean it up later. i never like having limbs cut off in a drawing so i had his other arm go GOD knows where. i don’t like weird patterned backgrounds so i made myself figure out how to like it!
IS THIS MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF ALL TIME. no. absolutely not. but i’m very proud of how this came out with all the challenges i put on myself. i WANTED to get better at these things and be more broad with my art, both in terms of the styles and subjects i portray.
okay let’s talk about wtf this drawing is
for those who don’t know, the design in this painting is my fatui/“Father” lyney fan design (read the design post here). the concept isnt super complicated and i don’t really have much explanation for it, but i wanted to combine the story of how lyney wanted a delusion before getting his vision, fire eating circus acts and how olympic medalists will bite their medal to prove it’s real??? don’t quote me on that i’m like 75% sure that’s a thing that happens. i don’t watch sports though so im just believing someone i heard on the internet ages ago.
anyways. i think fire eating acts are cool. and i think the fact that lyney wanted a delusion is very interesting to me. scratches my brain in the right places. and yk as a magician lyneys character revolves a lot around fooling people and creating illusions so i guess what im saying here is that lyney is trying to prove to himself that this power he’s been bestowed is real. bc his whole life his only constant has been lynette so he is trying to see if he can trust this new power. cause i guess this is an alternate universe where lyney does eventually become “Father” but he never got his vision ??? idk im not making lore for this i just wanted to dress up this funny little guy.
ok i’m done
thanks for reading
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here’s my dog
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tangledinink · 1 year
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Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? Donnie typically switches from contacts and headphones to glasses and earrings when he’s at home! source material lol. if you’re not following @pinetreevillain already, then you should (maybe even check out their patreon) love everything they make. had to give donnie lil earrings in his honor,,, i had a really good time drawing donnie go swing swing swing so then i draw a bunch of the hamatos stimming (very stimmy household) and babbled abt it under the cut
raph: loves to fucking chomp, dude. had a biting problem as a child (gee i wonder why), gets chewy necklaces for every christmas/birthday/holiday. will put almost anything he finds in his mouth. second most tactile hamato-- he's not as inclined to seek out physical contact as mikey is, but enjoys it very much when hes got it!
donnie: second biggest chomper, has a chewy jewelry collection. loves to flap, fidget, and, yes, to swing his earrings. plays with his hair a lot as well. also does a lot of verbal stims-- the most inclined of the bunch to chirp or make other noises. whenever he chirps, trills, or cheeps at leo, leo will always reply in kind. they used to do this WAY more often when they were little, but still occasionally do it now. the even more popular stim of choice is speaking to each other in vine quotes.
leo: mostly verbal stims. enjoys making noises at donnie, esp when they were little, stim of choice is (repeatedly) repeating quotes from tv shows, movies, vines, etc. will just start saying shit out of no where and gets excited when someone else jumps in. he'll do it at anyone in the family, but donnie is the most active participant. if you start a quote leo will finish it. (donnie absently mumbling to himself in his room: michael with a b..... | leo, screaming from down the hall: THER R E S A BE E E EE ?)
mikey: fidget fidget fidget fidget. arguably the stimmiest boy. cannot fuCKING stay still. bounces his leg, rocks in his chair, taps his fingers, paces, jumps, swings his legs back and forth, plays with the beads in his hair, clicks pens, etc etc. he also dances as a stim and paints as a stim when he's feeling restless. by far the most tactile hamato-- loves textures and touch, huge fans of hugs and snuggles and deep pressure. he often seeks raph out for these things. when he was little would use his family as jungle gyms. now that he's older and bigger, however, he only uses raph as a jungle gym :)
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daemonwhitedove · 1 month
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𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐈𝐓.
Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x Reader
Prior to the Dance of the Dragon, the vow between Daemon and his paramour lingered without knowing if it will last.
Inspired by the Song of Achilles, Patrochilles. Credit to Madeline Miller for the quote.
fanfiction | House of the Dragon
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When Rhaenyra had received the tidings of Lucerys' demise, she crumpled at her place, unable to rein in her sorrow. The passing of her offspring, now her cherished child that she held so close to her heart. All hastened to her side, tending to her as she sought solace in her chamber.
The remnants of the young boy and his dragon washed ashore on Dragonstone.
Dread seized you as you bathed in the balmy waters. You chewed at your lower lip, grappling with the impending storm that loomed over all. None shall emerge unscathed. The dragons shall clash and waltz until one prevails and the other succumbs.
The downfall of the dragons was imminent.
Lost in reverie, you failed to perceive the door creaking open, heralding the entrance of the man. Only when his hand alighted on your shoulder did you startle with a soft gasp.
"'It is me, my love." His rich voice banished the tumultuous thoughts. You lifted your gaze to meet his, discerning the unease mirrored in his eyes; he too foresaw the looming conflict.
A hush fell upon you both as you reclined against his embrace, swallowing the lump formed in your throat. You prayed that neither of you shall meet a grim fate. The throne could fall to the Greens, yet your sole concern was your beloved.
Daemon tenderly kissed your temple. "You are tense," he observed, caressing your shoulder blade. "Tell me your worries." A gentle plea. He had never been unkind to you. Never.
You spoke, "Daemon, war is on the coming. Lucerys shall be avenged one way or another, and I dread it shall claim us both." The chamber was filled with a hushed breeze, engulfing the palpable tension and fear that gripped you so tightly. The water now felt icy to the touch, unlike its previous warmth, unlike his touch.
The Prince remained silent, pressing another kiss on your temple. After a pause, he murmured, "In the end, we all meet our demise, my love. Such fears need not consume you. War was inevitable when that drunk cunt of a king seized Rhaenyra's throne in our absence." Yet his words failed to offer solace as intended.
Turning towards him, you twisted your body to face his. Tears once concealed now brimmed in your eyes as you clasped his hands. "I care not for the Greens or the throne. Death does not faze me. It is our parting that I dread. I cannot bear to be parted from you, plagued daily by fear for our safety." Your words were a soft whisper, tinged with regret at the tremor in your voice. How could you rein in your emotions when his life hung by a thread much like yours?
The Prince knelt closer, his eyes reflecting a love unmatched. "The gods are cruel. They shall never grant you lasting joy and triumph."
Drawing nearer, relishing his words, you leaned into his gaze.
"I'll tell you a secret" he raised your chin, locking eyes with you. "I shall be the first." Boldness shimmered in his gaze, deepening your affection for him. "Swear it."
"Why me?"
"You are the reason. Swear it."
Enveloped in fervent love and unwavering devotion to him, you uttered a vow that would alter your lives forever. "I swear it."
A grin played upon his lips.
"I feel like I could eat the world raw."
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dreamwritesimagines · 10 months
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Garden of Secrets [31] - Chamomile
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤
Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!
Summary: A ballroom can be a place of reconciliation.
Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of trauma and violence.
Word Count: 4400
Series Masterlist
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The following days after that night were interesting.
Granted things were still quite tense between you two, but perhaps because now you knew that neither of you wanted to walk away from this no matter how terrible that fight had been, there was also an unspoken agreement of peace. 
You passed by the hallway, fixing your gloves as you went downstairs and as soon as you reached the foyer, you saw Benedict entering the house.
“Husband,” you greeted him in a half joking manner as you walked past him, ignoring the way your heart skipped a beat.
“Wife,” he joked back, making you bite down on your smile but you stopped dead on your tracks as the thought hit you, and you turned around.
“Benedict wait,” you said, making him stop at the bottom of the stairs before he turned around as well to look at you.
“Yes?”
“We have the Coleshill ball tonight,” you said. “Don’t forget.”
“I haven’t,” he assured you. “At eight, I know. Are we going together?”
“I’ll be back before evening,” you said, shifting your weight. “So we can.”
He nodded and you cleared your throat, motioning at him.
“I mean if it’s fine with you, that is.”
“It’s fine—of course it’s fine,” he said quickly. “I just asked because you’re leaving, so…”
“To my uncle’s,” you replied and offered him a small smile. “Any luck with Lottie?”
“Not at all,” he said with a sigh. “And you?”
“I went there yesterday, she just sent a maid downstairs to tell me she was ill so she ‘couldn’t talk to me’,” you used air quotes and Benedict hummed.
“Same here,” he said. “Anthony says he saw her for a moment, she went to the drawing room to tell him she didn’t want to talk to him, and went straight back to her room.”  
“So she’s not speaking to any of us,” you clicked her tongue. “Great. I’ll talk to her during tonight’s ball, it’s fine.”
“You sound confident.”
“I try,” you murmured. “But if I get to talk to her, I’ll tell her the truth. Just so you know.”
“I doubt we have much of a choice on that, she already knows the general idea,” he commented and you shifted your weight.
“Sorry about that,” you said. “I really didn’t know she was there. I was arguing with Josie, and…”
“Not your fault,” he said, waving a hand in the air. “Don’t worry about it. And Josie?”
“She’ll come around,” you said. “By the way, if she knows then Bess knows as well. And probably Andrew.”
“Alright,” he said and cleared his throat. “I was thinking maybe I should talk to Josie.”
Your eyes widened. “What?” you asked. “Why on earth would you do that?”
“I think she’d want an explanation about this whole thing.”
“Josie isn’t the type to listen to explanations.”
“I’ll try anyway,” he said and thought for a moment. “I should probably try it with a body armor though.”
“She’s not going to stab you,” you said, and shook your head. “She’s not. She knows better.”
“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“Both,” you muttered and took a deep breath. “Just—you know. It’ll be fine but be careful.”
“I will.”
“Also make sure there are witnesses around but it’ll be fine,” you added and he pulled his brows together.
“You are terrible at assuring people.”
“I’m working on it,” you admitted and clapped your hands together, offering him a smile. “It’ll be fine, hooray!”
He paused for a moment and blinked a couple of times, then nodded quite enthusiastically.
“Baby steps,” he said as if trying to encourage you. “We’ll get you there.”
You grimaced, making him chuckle and you both stared at each other for a moment, then you frowned, trying to snap out of it.
“Anyway, I’d better go.”
“Right,” Benedict said, shaking his head slightly. “See you when you come back.”  
“Sure thing,” you said and you walked out of the house, then approached the carriage as the coachman opened the door for you.
“Where to, ma’am?”
“My uncle’s house,” you said and got in the carriage. “Thank you.”
                                   *
When you got to your uncle’s house, there was no sign of Teddy or your aunt, and you looked around, then made your way to the closed door of your uncle’s study to knock on it.
“Come in!” he called out and you opened the door to peek your head in.
“Good morning uncle.”
“Oh my Clover is here!” he smiled and got up from his seat. You walked to him to hug him with a laugh.
“Were you busy?”
“Not at all, just going over…” he motioned at his desk. “Never mind. Your aunt and Teddy are outside at the park.”
“Oh that’s alright,” you said. “I was actually hoping I could talk to you?”
“Of course, sit down, sit down!” he said and called for the maid passing by the door, then asked her for some cookies and tea. You sat down on the sofa and he came to take his place on the armchair.
“To what do I owe this wonderful surprise?”
“I need your wisdom.”
“It’s at your service,” he joked as the maid walked in, carrying a tray.
“Thank you,” you said as she placed the cookies and tea on the small coffee table, then curtsied and left the room. You took a sip of your tea and leaned back.
“Any other letters?”
“None,” he said. “As I’ve told you.”
“That’s a relief at least.”
“You have nothing to worry about,” he assured you. “Now, what do you need my wisdom for?”
You looked down at the tea cup in your hand, then raised your glances.
“You and auntie have been married for a long time,” you started. “And auntie says you two fell in love after your first dance.”
“We did,” he said with a smile. “I thought I was dreaming when I first saw her.”
You licked your lips. “And you’re…you still love each other.”
“We do.”
“So you’ve never had a fight or anything right?”
He tilted his head. “Clover, what is this about?”
You took a deep breath, then cleared your throat.
“Hypothetically speaking,” you started. “Let’s say you and auntie had a fight and hypothetically it was a big fight and hypothetically you said things.”
“A lot of hypotheticals.”
“I woke up curious,” you replied and he chuckled.
“Is everything alright between you and Benedict?”
“Sure,” you said. “So? What would you do if that happened?”
He reached out to grab a cookie, then hummed.
“To answer your first question, we did have fights, me and your aunt,” he said and you frowned.
“You have the perfect marriage.”
“Perfect marriages don’t just happen, Clover,” he said. “Especially at the start of the said marriage. Yes we were in love, we still are but it doesn’t mean we didn’t have arguments. Every couple is bound to have them sooner or later.”
“Why did you have a fight?”
“Well, marriage is a huge change in one’s life. Takes a bit of time to get used to,” he said. “The important thing is to never forget how much you love the person you’re married to, no matter what you’re fighting over.”
You pressed your lips together and he gave you a small smile.
“How bad was the fight?”
“I uh—I said things,” you admitted and paused for a moment. “Not necessarily nice things.”
“Ah,” he said. “An apology could work, perhaps?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Did you try?”
“…No,” you said after a beat and sat up straighter. “I have another question.”
“Ask away dear.”
“How did you know?” you asked. “That you were in love with auntie?”
He thought for a couple of seconds, then shrugged his shoulders.
“I suppose I realized that no one else but her made me happier,” he said. “When I imagined my future, anything else was a detail as long as she was there. She was my first thought as I woke up and last thought as I went to sleep and I couldn’t…I couldn’t imagine a scenario where I didn’t have her in my life.”
You blinked a couple of times; the idea was way too familiar to you. You swallowed thickly, then let out a huff of breath and buried your palms into your eyes.
“He loves you,” he said, making you lower your hands. “Anyone could see that. A fight won’t change things as long as you two talk about what happened.”
“That’s not my strongest suit,” you murmured and he chuckled.
“No harm in trying.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“Perhaps because it is easy?” he asked. “If you’re wondering the key to a good marriage, it’s knowing when to listen and when to apologize.”
You slipped a little on the sofa and hummed.
“What if I try to apologize and he doesn’t want to hear it?”
“No offense Clover but out of the two of you, I’d say it’s you who doesn’t want to hear apologies and not him.”
You pouted your lips.
“That’s not…” you started to protest, then let out a noise of agreement and shrugged your shoulders. “Yeah, you might be right about that.”
                                  *
Coleshill Ball was an absolute blast. Lord Easton had apparently decided to attend along with Lucy and Henry, and he was instantly surrounded by many people trying to talk to him. He had only had a couple of seconds to greet you and Benedict before his many admirers started talking over each other, eager to have a conversation with him. The orchestra was very talented as well, so everyone seemed to be having fun, dancing and socializing.
Everyone except you, Benedict and Anthony. The three of you found yourselves huddled in the corner of the room while Lottie adamantly ignored you, busy with her conversation with Lord Finney after their dance. Lord Finney hadn’t stopped eyeing Lottie with a small smirk you didn’t like since the end of their dance, and you could swear if you tried to pass by Anthony’s eyesight, you would have dropped dead from a thousand invisible daggers he was glaring at Lord Finney whereas Benedict looked nearly impatient, biting inside his cheek.
“Can I stab him?” you asked to no one in particular and both Benedict and Anthony answered at the same time.
“No.”
“Yes.”
You looked up at Benedict. “The head of the family said yes.”
“Now you want to listen to someone?” he asked you. “Not to mention him of all people? You don’t even like him.”
“I’m standing right here Ben.”
“She doesn’t like you Anthony,” Benedict deadpanned without so much as sparing him a glance and you made a face.
“I have no idea what you speak of,” you mused. “I’ve been nothing but nice to Anthony.”
Anthony leaned forward to look at you around Benedict’s arm, a look of disbelief etched in his features. “This is you being nice?”
“You’re standing here alive and well, so yes.”
Benedict suppressed a laugh, and you took a deep breath, pursing your lips.
“You know what, that’s enough,” you said. “The next dance will not start for a half an hour, I’ll go there and talk to her.”
“And Finney?”
“I’ll threaten him,” you said and Benedict nodded.
“Want me to come with you?”
“I can intimidate people by myself Benedict, have some faith,” you told him and walked away from them to approach Lottie and Lord Finney.
“Lottie,” you said as you reached them. “Good evening.”
She stole a look at you, pouting. “Good evening to you too Mrs. Bridgerton.”
“…Fair enough,” you muttered and nodded in Finney’s direction. “Leave us.”
“Mrs. Bridgerton—”
You turned to him, your eyes narrowing into a cold glare as your voice lowered into a growl.
“I said leave.”
A look of intimidation crossed his eyes and he swallowed thickly, then took a step back and bowed his head before walking away from you both.
“That wasn’t very nice,” Lottie said and you shrugged your shoulders.
“I’m not interested in being nice,” you commented and gave her a small smile. “Can we talk Lottie? Please?”
Her brows furrowed for a moment, that pout still apparent on her lips.
“Five minutes is all I ask,” you said. “I’d like to explain myself if you’d let me.”
She thought for a moment, then heaved a sigh.
“Fine.”
“Great,” you said, a smile lighting up your face, “Let’s go outside.”
She followed you out of the ballroom and you both stepped outside to the garden. Thankfully there weren’t people around which was no wonder considering how fun the ball was inside, so you approached the nearest bench and sat down, Lottie taking her spot next to you.
“So?” she asked. “If you’re going to tell me any more lies—”
“I’m not,” you cut her off and shook your head. “I’m not going to lie to you, and I’m sorry that I did. I really am.”
That seemed to take her by surprise and she frowned slightly.
“And I know you heard my and Josie’s argument but I don’t think of you gullible or anything, it was just something I said because I was frustrated with Josie and the whole thing. I hope you know that.”
She nodded and thought for a moment.
“Tell me everything,” she said. “From the very beginning.”
So you did. If anything, it was such a relief that you felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, and when you were finished a silence fell upon you both before Lottie let out a breath.
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” you said. “Exactly. You know what the ton thinks of me, they say Benedict married me because I trapped him or lured him away from you, or I planned it—”
“That’s not true.”
“And if they thought a scandal happened, you know what they would say about me,” you said. “So we told no one. The only reason we told Anthony was because he—he needed to know, considering everything. As I said, even my family doesn’t know.”
“Did you not trust me?”
“That’s not the reason,” you shook your head. “Lottie, you were so happy for us. I just couldn’t…I couldn’t bring myself to disappoint you and I’m sure Benedict feels the same.”
“You could never disappoint me,” she said. “I was just—I was sad.”
“I know.”
She nibbled on her lip and took a deep breath.
“Well,” she said. “At least it’s a relief that it wasn’t all a lie.”
“What?”
“Benedict and you have a love marriage.”
You raised your brows. “Uh, Lottie—”
“You two got married because you were caught kissing.”
“That’s lust Lottie, not love,” you said in a haste and she rolled her eyes at you.
“You honestly can’t see how he looks at you?” she asked. “Or how you look at him?”
Your heart skipped a beat and you sat up straighter. “Well because we had to pretend to be in love—”
“No one is that good of a pretender,” she said. “Not even you. And I’ve known Benedict for a long time, so I’d be able to tell if he were in fact pretending. It’s alright if you can’t see it yet, but I will be here to say I told you so when you finally realize that it is in fact a love marriage.”
You tried to swallow the nervous lump in your throat and averted your glances.
“Benedict and I are…” you trailed off. “We’re bound.”
“By marriage?”
“By fate.”
“By your hearts as well,” she pointed out and smiled at you, then pulled you into a hug. You hugged her back, and heaved a sigh when she pulled back.
“I’d better go, otherwise my next dance partner will assume I’m avoiding him,” she sighed and stood up. “Are you coming?”
“I think I’ll get some fresh air, it helps me think,” you said. “But I could also intimidate your next dance partner if you’d like.”
“I don’t wish to be rude,” she told you with a giggle and you saw Anthony stepping out of the house, making you tilt your head. Lottie turned around as he made his way to you.
“Charlotte, can we—?”
“No because I’m still angry at you,” Lottie said. “And I’m angry at Benny too, make sure to tell him that please.”
You pressed your lips together to contain your laughter at Anthony’s puzzled expression, but before he could say anything, Lottie stuck her nose in the air and walked past him to go back into the house. Anthony threw his head back and heaved a sigh while you leaned back, resting your elbows on the back of the bench.
“She forgave you?” he asked and you nodded.
“Yeah.”
“And she refuses to talk to me.”
“I have a more charming personality than you do.”
“Not really,” he said. “I mean just because your marriage is turbulent, doesn’t mean you should go around making others’ the same as well.”
You pulled your brows together in confusion. “You’re not married, in case it has escaped your notice.”
“I could’ve been,” he pointed out, “if I could get some spare time from the string of scandals you all throw at me. First you and Benedict, then Daphne and Simon, and now Colin wants to marry Miss Marina.”
“Wait really?” you asked. “It feels like yesterday he was getting all nervous to even talk to her. They grow up so fast.”
“Colin is older than you, Y/N.”
“That’s irrelevant,” you said and he came to sit beside you.
“So yeah, if everyone could stop for a moment to let me at least court Charlotte without getting in the way, it would be much appreciated.”
You smiled slightly and shrugged your shoulders.
“Patience is a virtue they say,” you said. “Perhaps waiting patiently will teach you a valuable lesson in the meantime.”
He scoffed. “Have you ever waited patiently for anything?”
“I’ve been waiting patiently for this conversation to end ever since you opened your mouth,” you retorted and rolled your eyes. “But if anything, she wants to marry you too.”
He turned to you, hope shining in his eyes. “She said that?”
“She mentioned it, yes,” you said. “So until she decides to forgive you, send her flowers, proclaim your undying love on a bent knee, whatever it is that in love people do.”
He nodded slowly, then cleared his throat.
“Speaking of that,” he said. “Is everything okay between Benedict and you?”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” you said and stole a glance at him. “What did he tell you?”
“He mentioned that you two had an argument but judging by the tortured look on his face for the last weeks up until a couple of days ago, I’d say it’s something more than a simple argument.”
You bit on your nail, keeping your gaze on the house.
“I’m not very pleasant when I’m angry,” you said and he raised his brows.
“If it makes you feel any better, you’re not very pleasant when you’re not angry either,” he stated and you turned your head to make a face at him.
“I would say I’m more pleasant than you but let’s be honest, it’s not like you’re setting a high standard there” you told him, making his lips twitch in amusement.
“Fair enough,” he said. “But just so you know; whatever it is that is bothering you, whatever happened between you and Benedict, if my help is needed in any way it’s at your service.”
You blinked a couple of times, furrowing your brows.
“…Why?”
“Because you’re family.”
A tentative smile curled your lips and your eyes darted over his face to get a hint of insincerity, but it wasn’t there.
“Thank you,” you mumbled after a pause and he shook his head.
“Don’t mention it,” he said and you saw Benedict stepping outside. Anthony turned to look at him, then stood up.
“I’ll try my chances to talk to Charlotte,” he said and walked away from you, passing by Benedict to get in the house. Benedict put his hands in his pockets and approached you.
“Hello there.”
“Hello,” you said and stuck your nose in the air in an exaggerated smug manner. “Lottie forgave me.”
He tilted his head. “Really?”
“Yes but she’s still angry at you and Anthony,” you said and he hummed.
“That explains why she glared at me when she got back in the ballroom just now.”
You grinned. “I’ll put in a good word for you.”
“I appreciate that,” he said with a chuckle and motioned at the bench. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” you said and he sat beside you, making you bite down on your lip, stealing a look at him.
“Ben?”
“Hm?”
“I’m…” you paused for a moment, your heart climbing up to your throat in nervousness, making you take a shaky breath. “I’m sorry.”
A look of surprise crossed his face and you sat up straighter, turning to see him better.
“I don’t…I don’t really pay attention to the words I say when I’m angry, which is no excuse but—I’m working on it,” you said, nodding as if trying to encourage yourself. “And I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean any of that.”
A soft light appeared in his eyes and he nodded.
“Your apology is heard and accepted,” he quoted you, making you frown in doubt.
“That easily?”
“Mm hm,” he said. “That easily.”
“I would’ve made me suffer more.”
“Good thing we’re complete opposites then,” he said and you bit back a smile.
“Good thing for me at the very least,” you commented as the beginning notes of the orchestra’s dance tune reached your ears. Benedict stole a look at you.
“Do you want to dance?”
“I don’t feel like going back inside,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “Too crowded.”
“Who said we needed to go back inside?” he asked as he stood up to offer his hand. A scoff of laughter escaped from your mouth, and your eyes went from his hand up to his face to see whether he was jesting or not. That playful lopsided grin curled his lips as you placed your hand in his, and he pulled you up to your feet.
“You’re not serious.”
“Oh I absolutely am,” he said as he entwined his fingers with yours and you let him twirl you before he pulled you closer, a giggle climbing up your throat despite you trying to repress it.
You two were standing much closer than this dance -or any dance- required, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. You rested a hand on his broad chest, feeling the thrumming of his heart underneath your fingertips and he sneaked an arm around your waist, burying his nose into your hair while you two swayed slowly with the tune.
“I missed this,” Benedict murmured into your hair and you closed your eyes for a moment, inhaling his pleasant scent as discreetly as you could, all your senses full of him.
“Dancing?”
“Holding you,” he said softly and you smiled, opening your eyes but not pulling back.
“It’s peaceful,” you whispered and he hummed, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb, the simple gesture making your stomach do a happy flip.
“It is.”
“I missed it too,” you admitted, your voice quiet. “It’s been—”
“Hey lovebirds!” Henry’s voice cut through you and you pulled back, both you and Benedict turning to look at him. Lucy elbowed Henry.
“I told you not to interrupt!”
“They can continue that later on,” Henry said as you felt your cheeks burn, shifting your weight before you managed to smile at them.
“Hello.”
“We have a party to catch, come on,” Henry held up an envelope. “Apparently Jane felt like throwing a celebration for the sake of it all of a sudden, Thomas just sent word. You’re both invited as well.”
“Everyone is already there,” Lucy added and Henry grinned.
“Gordon is coming as well—we’ll go get the carriage,” he said and they both walked away from you. Benedict heaved a sigh.
“I don’t think—” you paused for a moment. “I think I’ll skip this one but you should go.”
“Oh no, I don’t have to be there,” he said in a haste and you smiled slightly.
“Benedict,” you said. “Go have fun, it’s been a while. I would’ve come with if it were any other time, but I think I should try to make things better between Lottie and Anthony—don’t tell him I said that.”
He pulled his brows together. “Sorry, you’ll try to make things better between them?”
“Yes.”
“Who are you and what did you do to my wife?”
Your heart skipped a beat at that but you bit back a smile, then heaved a sigh.
“What can I say? I’m very compassionate.”
He shot you a playful look before pointing at the house with his thumb. “Was there something in the lemonade?”
“I feel responsible,” you said. “And I don’t know, he’s—he’s family, so I should just at least try to patch things between them. Put in a good word and such.”
That made him smile before he cleared his throat.
“I don’t have to go, it’s just some party,” he insisted. “I’ll help you.”
“Lottie isn’t talking to you either, I doubt you’d be much of a help,” you reminded him and let out a laugh. “Go. I swear this is not me setting you up for…for a fight in the morning. I’ll make things better between those two and then go home. I doubt I’ll be able to talk to you when we go into that ballroom anyway, no reason for you to come with.”
He thought for a moment. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” you said. “Go have fun. I’ll come with you to the other one, I promise.”
He looked at you as if trying to read your mind and took a deep breath.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll be home early, okay? Definitely before you go to sleep.”
“Alright,” you said. “Well I have a very stubborn friend to convince, so if you’ll excuse me...”
He smiled softly, then held your hand to place a kiss on the back of it, making your heartbeat faster.
“I’ll see you in a couple of hours then.”
“Deal,” you said, your cheeks still burning. “Have fun, give everyone my regards.”
“Good luck with those two,” he said, nodding in the direction of the house before walking away from you and you heaved a sigh, then licked your lips.
“Alright,” you muttered, painfully aware of the smile on your face as you made your way to the house. “This should be interesting.”
Chapter 32
743 notes · View notes
prismatic-bell · 1 year
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So @hejeksbs saw that post about fandom olds freaking out about IWTV stuff being posted on the AO3, and said they’re new to fandom and fandom culture and don’t understand. So congrats, Hejek, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is going to be a basic primer, but I encourage others to chime in with details. (Also, thanks for reminding me I need an Interview exhibit in the museum. I had that written down somewhere.)
So if you go back to the 1990s and early 2000s—the pre-AO3 digital years—you’re going to see an official disclaimer on just about every fic. These basically said “I don’t own anything here, please don’t sue me.” Some were quoted elaborate.
These started because of Anne Rice.
See, Anne Rice was, how can I say this nicely…an asshole? The day she died there were literally people posting crab rave and “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz on Tumblr. Because before Harry Potter fanfiction was pretty frowned upon and you might get a C&D if you didn’t keep your head down properly, but Anne Rice.
ANNE RICE.
Anne Rice literally recruited her “loyal fans” to harass people who made fanworks. At least one person was doxxed to her workplace by rabid Ricers, and at the time fanfiction was taboo enough you could absolutely get fired for that. I was eleven and friends with someone who was 13 who’d just read Interview and drew this wonky I-am-a-kid-who-can’t-really-draw-yet-but-I-loved-this-SO-MUCH piece of fanart of Louis and Lestat, and she literally dipped off the internet because she got an extremely nasty “I’m suing you” threat from Rice. (Are you out there, Mercury000? It’s me, sailorsharon0722.)
Anne Rice did everything in her power to ensure there was no IWTV fandom at all. I’ve heard from people older than me that she used to host a “vampire’s ball” every year in New Orleans for her “loyal fans” but if you showed up and she felt your costume outshone her own, she’d make you leave. People didn’t dare so much as put “Lestat” and “fanfiction” in the same sentence.
And then, irony of ironies, when her reputation got so bad she was struggling to sell books, she…became a Christian and started writing Bible fanfiction to sell.
Yeah.
Over the years there were claims she’d changed her mind about fanfiction, but nobody ever had evidence to back this up. I even saw a dude on Quora claiming to be a close friend of hers saying we were all lying, and he got absolutely ratioed by fans going “I still have my C&D letter, you wanna fucking try again?”
Incidentally, I would like to point out that her attitude wasn’t uniform. It’s easy to say “that’s just how it was,” but Neil Gaiman has been around since the 1980s and has always appreciated fanfiction. Stephen King’s approach is “please tell me, to my face, that me explicitly writing about Cthulhu isn’t fanfiction” and otherwise pretty lassez-faire (he has no interest in knowing you’re writing fanfiction of his stuff, he just genuinely doesn’t care), and his first book was published in the early 1970s. Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, actually accepted submissions of fanfiction scripts DURING THE SHOW’S ORIGINAL RUN, at least according to popular lore. (@dduane, can you check me on this?) Mercedes Lackey—who’s 1980s-and-1990s fantasy royalty—has been asked on Quora about why she “changed her mind about fanfiction” and her response was “I never changed my mind, I just had to talk my publisher into accepting it. I’ve always been okay with it but I had to say no because of my contract.” Sure, Diana Galbaldon was out there comparing fanfiction to rape(????), but even among those who disapproved of fanfiction, Rice’s attitude and actions were extreme. And they persisted into the 2000s, too, with her egging on fans who harassed and sent death threats to a YouTube reviewer who didn’t like one of her books.
AO3 changed ALL of that.
AO3 said “here is our well-researched legal claim that fanfiction is legal, and if someone gives you shit about works you have posted on our website, our lawyers will represent you. You can post safely here. It’s okay. We got your back.”
Even so, the fear about Anne Rice continued. And can you blame people? This woman’s name held the same power in fannish conversations as “Voldemort.” (A moniker by which I’ve actually heard her called.) She all but destroyed the old guard, on purpose.
….and then a new generation of fans happened. A new generation that didn’t remember life before AO3, had never known anyone who literally had to move house to get away from Rice’s minions’ threats and harassment. I know we use “nature is healing” as a joke on this website, but really truly, that’s what happened here. She left charred tree trunks and bushes that were old-school fans and from their ashes tiny little 2010s-fans seedlings began to grow.
The thousand-odd fics you saw in those screenshots (which I feel I should clarify are from before the new show came out—a show that must have her turning in her grave, because she was absolutely adamant that all her vampires were STRAIGHT and if you thought otherwise you were DISGUSTING, and I hope she spins so hard her corpse combusts) are absolutely shocking to us older fans because it’s like staggering out of a nuclear wasteland and spotting a little garden with signs saying “free nuclear-illness medical services” and realizing it’s real. What the fuck, what the fuck, but also, holy shit y’all we’re so proud of you. YES. Keep going. Don’t let the witch get you down.
EDIT: I’ve been informed by someone in the notes that IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE:
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I’m not going to transcribe the whole thing because I’m on mobile and most of it is just bog-standard post notes, but what’s relevant is @theoriginalvelocipastor saying “OP forgot the part where she [Anne Rice] would take ideas from fanfiction.”
Like holy motherFUCKER this woman’s hypocrisy.
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ediewentmissing · 10 months
Text
some of my eddie munson headcanons
1. loves liquorice.
i know a lot of you guys probably HATE liquorice, but something about him screams ‘i am a liquorice lover and proud of it!!’. and he doesn’t like the strawberry kind.
2. races to press the button in the elevator
“MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, YOU LITTLE SHIT!” “EDDIE, IT’S MY TURN!”
3. was rlly short before he hit puberty
eddie has obviously been subjected to a hell of a lot of bullying over the years, and just to add to that pile of angst, we have the idea of short eddie. gareth went through the same thing, except he didn’t grow as much. “how’s the weather down there, munson?” “fuck off, tommy.”
4. he’s either really hot or really cold
he’s wearing 3 layers half the time, and as little clothing as he can the other half. freezes during winter and sweats his ass off during the summer.
5. gets sensitive teeth
this is because he’s made himself eat a basket worth of lemons just to brag about it later on multiple occasions
6. enjoys watching b movies
those shitty low budget films? oh, yeah. eddie loves them. for one reason; he cackles the whole time over how crap they are. a great pick-me-up.
7. chews on things when he spaces out
the inside of his cheek, his lip, a pencil, and you can’t forget that one time he chewed on a pen for so long that all the ink spilled into his mouth and he was gagging in the middle of class
8. had a major crush on princess daphne from dragon’s lair
definitely fought over her with his friends. he was incredibly jealous of dirk the daring.
9. doesn’t like trying new foods
he’s attached to foods from when he was a kid (macaroni and cheese, cereal, mini pizzas, grilled cheese, and dishes from his mum) and refuses to branch out - unless you ask him to
10. swears he only listens to metal, but doesn’t
he wants to keep his ‘scary ‘music’ reputation, but it’s hard to do that when robin finds eddie’s abba and wham! tapes tucked away in his room
“i thought you were a, and i quote, ‘strictly metal-only’ guy, but i guess you were just a big pop fan this whole time” “quit it, robin”
he also doesn’t mind the country music wayne forced onto him when he was younger
11. twirls the phone cord around his finger
when he’s talking to you over the phone, you swear you can picture him clear as day; big sly grin plastered on his face, and his ringed finger wiring around the phone cord connected to the wall
12. graffitis
but only in the school bathroom cubicles and the hideout bathroom cubicles. occasionally you’ll go to one of his gigs, and then you’ll go to the toilet and there’ll be little drawings on the wall. a guitar, eddie the head, and the occasional shameless penis
13. used to ride bikes everywhere
USED to because he fell over while riding it when he was 9 and scraped his knee and declared he would never ride a bicycle again (thought that declaration broke in 1986)
14. loves roller coasters
specifically ones that take pictures of you - he loves to act all calm and collected while everyone else is screaming their heads off
“eddie, this is a terrible photo” “no, it’s a terrible photo of YOU. you look like you’ve shit yourself, and i look cool as ice”
15. thought babies hatched out of eggs
safe to say that when he learnt how babies are REALLY made, he was flabbergasted and very, very grossed out
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witchygirlgray333 · 9 months
Text
Some journal prompts I like (writing and creative) :
I’m going to do a separate list for some chronic illness journal ideas bc I’ve found it’s so helpful!
Write out the lyrics to your favourite song and/or do a drawing / painting / collage of your interpretation of the song
Books you want to read
Films you want to watch
Diary entry about your day
Bujo style - plan out your week or month
Pressed flowers
Scripting (manifestation)
Vision board (manifestation)
Notes on a topic you’re learning about (for example I like to watch lots of nature or history documentaries and sometimes I make notes on them in my journal or if it’s witchy stuff I write it in my grimoire)
Letter to past you / future you / someone in your life (remember they don’t have to read it, this has helped me so much in certain situations so I can get out whatever I want to say without upsetting people) / someone you love who has passed on / the god or deity you worship if you worship one / to your future children / future partner
Wishlist
Ideas for things (like stories you want to write, photo shoots, fashion, films, art etc)
Poetry (either that you’ve written or that someone else has written that you like)
Get to know me page so if you want to look back on your journal in the future you can see what you were like then
Films you’ve watched / books you’ve read / favourite songs from the past month
Positive affirmations
Shadow work
Sticker / photo dump
Recipes
Go sit in nature and draw or write about what you see or feel when you’re there
Draw out your alter ego
Stick in scraps from throughout your day (such as receipts, labels from things, stickers, pictures etc)
Book reviews
To do lists
Design your dream room
Your childhood (draw or write about childhood memories, hobbies, things you used to collect, stick in childhood photos, the toys you used to play with etc)
Travel bucket list
Life bucket list
Family tree
Write a list of things that make you happy
Stream of consciousness
Write about your dreams and what you think they might mean
Brain dump (I sometimes do this before I go to sleep if somethings going on)
Doodle page
Stick in notes your loved ones have written to you
List of favourite quotes
Self care ideas
List of songs / playlist
Goals in life / 5 year plan
Plan a day out or a holiday
Plan content you want to make for social media
Tattoos you want to get
Things that make you happy
Outfit ideas
Hobbies you currently have
Hobbies you want to try
List of things you collect
Yoga / exercise routine
Seasonal bucket lists
Things you want to learn or research
Mood tracker
Stick in any colouring pages you’ve done
Daily skincare routine
List of Studio Ghibli films and tick off the ones you’ve watched
List of your favourite things
List of things to do when you’re bored
If you normally write about your day, draw pictures of all the things you did instead of writing (a bit like in a comic book)
Advice people have given you that has been really helpful
Ideal morning / night routine
Notes from therapy / hospital appointments
Page of all your cinema tickets
List of people that inspire you
Angel numbers
Crystals and their meanings
Your favourite artists
Worry tree
Favourite memories
Write your dream wardrobe
Reasons to stay alive
Stick in photos and write a bit about them
Names you like
Favourite words
Write about an event (a description of what happened, how it left you feeling, who was there and what they said and did, what you wish had happened instead, the reasons why you find it hard to let go, steps you could take to start to move on)
Notes on a language you’re learning
Collage about a film you’ve recently watched
Glow up check list
Write about a tarot reading you did
What does heaven and hell mean to you
Flip through a magazine and do a collage of pictures from it
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its-time-to-write · 9 months
Note
AH I've been waiting for requests to be open! i love love loveeee your writing!! I've been in dire need (if you feel like writing it lol) of reader comforting jamie after the locker room scene w his dad at wembley.. like maybe instead of roy hugging him the reader swoops in? you do you! thanks!! <3
Listened to 17 Pushing 24 by Sabrina Sterling while writing this. Highly recommend ✌️🥲
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i know what i’m doing
Sometimes Jamie wonders if you two are attracted to each other due to your compelling need to take care of everything. 
It certainly was difficult at first, both of you with residual issues due to your upbringing. His as the only son of a single mother, yours as the oldest daughter of a large family. 
Those types of child-caretakers aren’t always compatible. Jamie’s much more lighthearted about the way he tries to control everything, and you’re more serious.
You’d think it would be easier, both of you taking care of each other, except for the small fact that neither of you were capable of accepting help from the other. 
It came to a head one evening when Jamie came home to you crying in the laundry room, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the tasks you had yet to complete before going to bed. 
“Love, I can help you,” Jamie had said.
“No! It’s my laundry and my responsibility and you already have enough to do without me burdening you even more,” you replied before dissolving into more tears. 
So yeah, it was a whole thing. It involved therapy and everything.
But you’re moving past it. You’re both getting to a point where each of you can receive the same love that you’re giving, however strange it may feel. Jamie even let you stay home from work to take care of him when he was sick a couple weeks ago, something that was pretty much unheard of up to this point.
You’re channeling the need to control things in healthy ways, like having all of AFC Richmond over to Jamie’s giant house for potluck-style family dinners. Or hosting non-video game nights, where FIFA is strictly banned as a form of entertainment. Or themed outings where everyone had to dress as something that shared the first letter of their name and then go see a movie at the local theater. 
Stuff like that. 
You’re the brains, Jamie is the execution. You can see Isaac side-eyeing him a couple times, making mental notes about temporary captains in the event that he can’t play a match. 
Jamie’s gone from Richmond’s resident prick to Richmond’s resident morale-booster.
He comes home one evening with brighter eyes than normal.
“Babe,” he calls before he’s even in the door, “Coach said I can go back to being a prick again.”
“Ted said that?” you ask from your spot on the couch. You’re laying down length-wise with your legs dangling off the end.
“Fuck no,” Jamie replies, “Roy.”
“Oh,” you say as Jamie plops his bags down. You sit up a little so he can have a spot on the couch. He pats his lap so you lay back down, head on his thigh.
“Roy said that Ted fucked me up, so ‘when it’s appropriate’” (he uses air quotes) “I can be a prick to the other team.”
“That’s nice, babe,” you say, “but how do you know when to do that?”
Jamie shrugs. “Coach said he’d give me a signal. Don’t know what it is, though.”
You say, “hm,” then lapse into comfortable silence, Jamie’s hand running through your hair.
The prick signal worked so much better than you could have thought. It’s the best. You see Jamie go from playing defensively to being completely offensive, screwing with the other team’s heads. You scream and clap as he scores, while Keeley practically throttles you with joy.
Now it’s late after the game, and the lads are all over at Jamie’s. They’re absolutely exhausted, but buzzing with energy. It isn’t until about 1am that they disperse to the various guest bedrooms and pass out on top of each other. You catch a glimpse of Dani cuddling Jan Maas who’s asleep in a starfish position as Colin sneaks in to draw on their faces with sharpie. 
“Don’t tell anyone it was me,” he whispers. You zip your lips and head to the master bedroom and pretty much fall onto the right side of the bed.
Jamie comes in shortly after, saying something about Isaac telling a bedtime story. He burrows under the covers and you quietly shriek because he’s placed his ice-cold hands on your ribcage.
“How are you so cold?” you whisper.
Jamie shrugs sleepily. “Dunno,” he whispers back. “Got ice in my veins, I guess.”
You smile. “You’re tired, aren’t you babe?”
Jamie shakes his head and stifles a yawn. “Nah, ain’t tired. Thinkin’ about our match against Man City.”
He says it casually. Too casually.
You see, both you and Jamie have this thing where the more nonchalantly you say something, the more important it is.
You prop yourself up a bit so you can face him and scratch his head. He sighs and leans in.
“You nervous?” you ask.
Jamie shakes his head. “Not to see the team. Lookin’ forward to seeing Pep. It’s just…” he trails off.
You whisper, “Yeah. I know. Whatever happens, I’m here. Don’t forget that. I’m here no matter what.”
Jamie says, “hm,” and then he’s asleep.
You’re running. 
You’re running faster than any of the boys on the pitch had run the entire match, and you’re pushing past people in a way that Keeley would later describe as “absolutely fucking feral.”
It happened like this:
The game was over. Richmond lost to Man City.
You were on your way to see Jamie and the rest of the team.
You were, maybe, three floors away? when Rebecca got a text from Ted, showed it to you, and before you knew it you were flying down to the guest locker room to find Jamie.
Of course his dick father would show up to make this day worse. Of course he would.
You’re ducking under security and pushing your way to the locker room in a flurry of motion, then immediately stop.
It’s silent, absolutely silent. 
And so still.
No one moves a muscle as your eyes land on Jamie, clinging to Roy like he’s a lifeline. Roy. Roy Kent, self-proclaimed Jamie-hater and staunch advocate against physical touch.
Jamie’s eyes are squeezed shut, but they flutter open at the sound of your tentative footsteps. He lets go of Roy for a moment, but only so that you can grab him in the next.
“Right,” says Roy, “Everybody get the fuck out!”
There are no complaints as the lads hurriedly grab their bags and exit the locker room.
Roy nods in your direction before leaving, and Beard mouths, “take your time.” You’re not sure where Ted’s gone off to.
Jamie feels like he’s going to collapse if he stands any longer, crushing you in the strongest grip you’ve ever felt.
“Oi,” you say gently, “let’s sit down, yeah? You don’t have to let go.”
So now you’re on the bench in Jamie’s lap, scratching his head in the way he likes, waiting for him to break the silence.
“Fucking stupid,” he says, voice muffled.
You ask, “What?” because surely that can’t be what he just said.
“I said it’s fucking stupid,” Jamie says, refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m a fucking adult. Don’t need to be crying about stupid shit, especially not in front of the lads.”
“Oh, right,” you say before you can stop yourself, “because crying after your dick father tried to swing at you when you set boundaries for the first time ever is a completely unreasonable response.”
Jamie is still in your arms and you cringe. Curse your stupid, logical tongue.
Jamie finally says, “Didn’t think about it like that.” He sighs. “It’s just fuckin’ embarrassing, innit? Him showing up here like that. Didn’t need the lads seeing that.”
You kiss his forehead. 
“The only person it’s embarrassing for is him. Not you. You’re absolutely fine, Jaim. If anything, the boys are going to look at you better for finally understanding the shit you had to grow up with.”
Jamie nods, but you’re not sure if he believes you.
“Jamie,” you say firmly, “It’s not your fault. You handled it the best way it could have been handled. You did a great job.”
Those words seem to do something to Jamie, and his face takes on an expression you’ve never seen before
He asks, “You think so?” in such a forlorn manner than you have the sudden urge to find James Tartt and kick him in the balls with steel-toed shoes. You briefly wonder if Roy and Beard would like to join you.
“Yes,” you reply forcefully, “Yes Jamie. You did a wonderful job in a shitty situation and I’m very, very proud of you.”
Jamie doesn’t reply, just holds you tighter if that’s even possible. He takes a deep shuddering breath, but it’s the first real one he’s taken this entire time. 
“I told you I’m here no matter what,” you say. “Just like all the times you’ve been here for me. Now I’m here for you.”
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