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girlgenius1111 · 5 months

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i can't hide from you like i hide from myself

part 3 of cool about it. reader almost relapses. almost.

tw for mentions of self harm.

Recovery was just as hard as you remembered it; the only difference was that you didn't know how the hell you did it without Alexia the first time. She had kept her promise; she was right there with you, every second of everyday, someone always anticipating what you needed.

The hardest part was getting rid of the guilt you felt; so far, you hadn't struggled with needing to do it again. You were just overcome with shame. You were back in therapy, though, and the necessary adjustments were being made to your medication. Things were looking up. Recovery, though, is evidently not just an upwards slope.

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You'd insisted that Alexia go out with her sister and her sister's friends. She'd been by you side constantly, and you knew she needed to get out. You weren't really feeling up to that yet, though, so you assured her you would be fine, and all but shoved her out the door.

In your defense, you hadn't been feeling bad when she'd left. Alright, maybe a little down, but nothing you couldn't handle. You'd had a calm night in, watching TV and catching up on emails. You were doing alright, admittedly excited for Alexia to return home.

The catalyst was a simple nick in the shower; you were shaving your legs, mind on the next day's practice, when you felt a sharp sting. You dragged the blade to the side slightly on accident, and there was a small cut on your shin. You dropped the razor in shock, watching in horror as blood dripped from the wound.

You hadn't done it on purpose. You hadn't. Suddenly, though, all you could think about was doing it on purpose. Somewhere in your panicked brain, you remembered that this was an addiction, like any other addiction. Even if you didn't want to do it for the normal reasons, your body still craved the release.

It would have been so easy to just give in. Alexia wasn't due home for a few hours, and you were already bleeding. You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts, picking up the razor and chucking it out of the shower, into the sink. You washed the remaining conditioner from your hair, hands shaking, before shutting the water off and climbing out.

You didn't even want to look at the cut on your shin. It was a combination of reminding you of what you'd done just a few weeks ago, and what you desperately wanted to do right now.

You left the bathroom, getting dressed quickly, before forcing yourself to apply some pressure on the cut. It wasn't deep, or serious by any means, but shins had the tendency to bleed a lot, and if you didn't want to drip blood all over your apartment, you had to do something.

Your hands continued to shake as you held a washcloth over the cut, and you felt your control slipping. You were panicking, and you knew what you should do. What you needed to do. Without letting yourself think too hard, you grabbed your phone off the bed, sitting down on the ground. You clicked Alexia's contact, reminding yourself that she wanted you to call her, she'd told you to call her.

"Hola mi amor! Everything alright?" She asked, clearly trying to mask her alarm at the call from you.

"Yeah, um. I mean, no. I'm sorry. Can you come home? I need you." You said weakly. Alexia's tone shifted instantly, and you heard her tell someone, presumably her sister, that she had to go, before she was speaking to you again.

"Of course, mi amor, I'm leaving right now, I'll be there in 5 minutes. Stay on the phone with me, vale?" She said, and you let out a hum of agreement. She didn't ask you to explain, or ask you what was wrong. She knew that you needed her, and that was enough for her to speed home. The sound of her breathing over the line was enough to keep you grounded, until you heard her shut the car door behind her, rushing up into the house. "I'm coming up, okay? Where are you?"

"Bedroom." You mumbled. You were really starting to panic now, head spinning with anxiety. You heard the front door open and close, and Alexia's fast footsteps as she rushed towards the bedroom. She threw the door open, her phone forgotten in her hand, as her eyes frantically searched for you. The minute her eyes met yours, and flew down to your leg, you realized what it looked like.

"Oh, mi amor," she sighed, and you couldn't help but feel like she was disappointed in you.

"It wasn't on purpose, Ale, I promise, it was an accident," you told her frantically. She moved to sit down next to you, moving your hand away from your shin as she inspected the cut.

"Okay." she said, believing you. Still, you insisted, not really hearing her response.

"I was shaving and the razor slid, I promise, I didn't do it on purpose, Alexia," you cried, and it sounded like you were begging her to believe you. With her free hand, she cupped your cheek, shushing you.

"I believe you, mi amor, it's alright. I'm here, and everything is fine," she told you soothingly. You were still panicking, though, still completely distraught, eyes glued to your shin.

"Look at me, bonita, eyes up here," she said, drawing your attention away from the cut. She gripped your chin gently, holding your gaze there. "Deep breath in, with me," she told you, exaggerating a deep breath. You stumbled over another inhale, but Alexia's attention stayed on you, reminding you when to breathe in and out.

With her help, you managed to calm down. After a minute of following Alexia's breathing, you opened your mouth. You had to be honest, you had to tell her the truth, before you lost your nerve.

"It wasn't on purpose," you said again, and Alexia looked at you sympathetically, nodding her head. "I almost did though, after. I almost did it again," you told her brokenly.

"Okay, mi niña. You didn't though; you called me instead," she reminded you. "You asked for help when it would have been easy not to, and I am so proud of you, bebe," Alexia insisted. You looked at her uncertainly.

"I shouldn't have freaked out, though, I don't know why I did," you reasoned, not really prepared to except her praise. Alexia shook her head, though.

"No, amor, that's not true. What happened before was traumatic, and this was something so similar to that experience; it makes sense that this was really upsetting to you." She sounded so sure, so convinced, you couldn't help but internalize her words, just a little.

"I'm sorry you had to leave dinner," you told her quietly, still feeling incredibly guilty.

"Don't be sorry. I want you to call me when you need me, no matter what I'm doing," she replied. Her words made you feel so loved, but at the same time, you felt so unworthy of that love.

"You're too good to me. I don't deserve you," you mumbled attempting to slightly farther from her. She reached out to stop your movements, lips pursed in dissatisfaction. She hated that you didn't see yourself the way she did; that you didn't recognize that every hard moment was worth it, because the good you brought her was unmeasurable.

"You deserve good, y/n. You deserve everything good. Even when it's hard to accept, even when you don't feel like it. You always deserve to be treated with love, and care, and patience," she paired her words with an arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you to lean against her chest, until you were enveloped by her soft sweater, by her comforting scent. "I'd sit with you here for as long as you need me. I love you, and I'm always going to love you, even when you don't feel like you deserve it," she promised.

You tried to burn her words into your memory. You didn't want to ever forget them. Not the way she said them, her chest vibrating under your ear, or the way she spoke slowly, wanting you to hear every sentence.

Leaning up, you softly kissed Alexia's pillowy lips. It was slow, and somehow meaningful. It communicated how thankful you were for her words, for how patient she was with you. She kissed you back, cradling your face like it was breakable, lips moving against yours perfectly. You broke apart after a minute, and you looked up at her, at the adorable way she her eyes crinkled slightly when they met yours.

'Thank you for being here," you said.

"Always," she replied, without hesitation. She'd promised it before, but something about this time was different. You believed her.

-----

soft alexia <3

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader

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sunny44 · 5 months

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Marriage (Part 8)

Pairing: Max Verstappen x ex fiancée!reader Mason Mount x Fiancée!reader

Warnings: fights and that’s it

Summary: Max leaves his fiancée y/n at the altar on their wedding day but after years of regretting what he did, by a miracle of fate (or Lando) she appears in his life again.

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

I didn't have the courage to take the test.

It had been two days since the event, and I sat on the bed, staring at a pregnancy test kit, trying to gather the courage to use it.

Mason was at training, and despite being invited by Red Bull and wanting to avoid Max, Mason's media team insisted that attending the Monaco GP would be good for his image.

That was the reason for our trip.

I used the opportunity when I needed to pee and took the test. Once done, I put it back in the box and tossed it into my bedside table.

I spent the day working to distract myself. I only realized it was evening when I felt a kiss on my forehead.

"Been here all day?" he asked.

"Yeah, had a lot of work," I replied.

"Have you eaten?"

"I only noticed the time because you arrived," I said. He chuckled and kissed my forehead again.

"Well, then I'll get something for us to eat, and you stay right there."

I continued working until he left, only stopping when he returned and we had dinner.

After we finished, we went to the bedroom. I took a shower while he got ready to sleep.

"Love, can I borrow your charger? Can't find mine." he asked.

"Sure, it's in my bedside table, first drawer." I shouted back.

After drying my hair, doing my skincare and getting dressed, I went to the room. Mason was sitting on the bed with a paper in hand and a displeased expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Mind explaining what this is?" He stood up and practically threw the paper at me.

It was the letter.

I took a deep breath, realizing Mason had found the letter. The atmosphere in the room shifted, filled with unspoken tension.

"Mason, I..." I began, but he interrupted.

"Just explain what the hell this is." he insisted, eyes fixed on the letter.

I walked over, took the paper, and glanced at the content. I hadn't read it since he handed it to me. It probably contained words and apologies Max wanted me to know, and my heart raced.

"It's a letter." I stated the obvious, trying to buy time to gather my thoughts.

"I can see that." he replied with a touch of frustration. "But it's a letter apologizing and also a letter saying he still loves you."

Taking another deep breath, I decided to be honest.

"Max wrote this letter to me some time ago."

"How long ago?"

"Do you remember when I told you I became friends with Lando?" He nodded. "We hung out that time because he insisted on introducing me to his best friends that ended up being Max and Daniel."

"What does that have to do with the letter?" He asked, frustrated.

"After the party that he introduced us he talked to Lando about what happened. He made him help him meet me to apologize. So, he said he wrote this letter and handed it to me, but I didn't have the courage to open it."

"And why did you keep it?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe one day I'd have the courage to read it and that’s why I kept it. Perhaps I felt I needed a reminder of how things were before."

His expression changed from frustration to anger.

"You kept a letter from your ex in our house? Are you serious?"

"I was unsure what to do with it and couldn't bring myself to throw it away, so I kept it. It's a piece of the past I kept hidden."

"Why hide it, then? Why keep secrets from me?" Mason's frustration grew. "You lied again about this. Not long ago, you argued with me for defending you and then you do this, keeping his things."

"I thought I could handle it on my own. I didn't want to burden you with my past." I explained.

He sighed, clearly upset.

"Y/n, we promised transparency. Keeping something like this from me... hurts."

"I'm sorry, Mason. I should have told you about this and I know this now." I admitted, feeling a pang of guilt.

"But it's always going to be like this, isn't it? You lie to me about him, and it makes me think you still love him even after he left you at the altar like an idiot," he said angrily. "You were supposed to tell me about him years ago and then when I found out on the internet I’ve try to be cool with it because I saw how much it hurts you, even if I was angry that you e lied to me. And now this, im your fiancé and u was supposed to be the one you trust to tell me this things but apparently lying to me it’s easier for you.

“I’m sorry.”

“I honestly don't know if I can still do this."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know if I can marry you." I felt tears fill my eyes. "I don't know if I can marry someone who lies to me."

"Mason, I..."

"I need some time." He left the room, leaving me there alone.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername Instagram stories

“So much work that I’m starting to get crazy”

Taglist: @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @christianpulisic10 @gaslysainz @fanboyluvr @urgirlceci @justdreamersdream @aundercoverosh @newlifeforus @depressedriches @topguncultleader @luvrrish @tyna-19 @esposadomd @formulas-bitch

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chipthekeeper · 6 months

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After many months of sporadically yelling my thoughts in various posts.........it is time.

*turns out there's like, so much competition for being the worst dad in this galaxy **a biased account from someone with their own very mid dad

Read on for an unnecessarily lengthy argument and just make sure to picture me like this the whole time

The Evidence:

Similarities/parallels between them

Shapeshifting -- They both transform so fully and easily from rebel mode to fancy rich asshole and back again throughout the show. Others do as well, but not nearly as often as they do and not nearly as sharp contrast from one thing to another

Quick tempers -- Evident from the way they snap at each other and the people they work with

Familiar framing -- There’s nothing accidental in this show. I believe the below photos draw a very deliberate, if subtle, parallel between them. We don’t see any of the other rebels using a stick like that, and Luthen's doesn't seem to actually have a function besides making youtubers believe he's a Jedi (I have a whole spin-off conspiracy theory on that we can get into some other day if you ask me)

Blonde -- Obviously. Though it seems Vel's hair is changing for season two. Perhaps a hint that she is trying to distance herself from her father's influence? (okay this part is mostly a joke but then I talked myself into something)

Also, this brand new page from the Dawn of Rebellion visual guide book that made me go !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because, you know, proximity is everything. It would have made much more sense for Kleya to be on this page and Vel to be beside Cinta on the next page, right? Nope, not if there's a deeper connection here!

Their first interaction

Even before we meet Vel, Luthen predicts to Cassian exactly how she will react to them being there

He first tries to greet her with a big fake grin. Big time dad behavior to act like none of the past shit between you has ever gone down. But Vel remembers, doesn’t buy the act

Basically their interaction is just very familiar and informal, then breaks down quickly because of their attitudes toward each other

Vel is being very childish for most of it, pacing around, not keeping eye contact, then fully acting like a kid who doesn’t want to pick up their toys (see above picture)

Which then brings the Big Dad Energy from Luthen - "LOOK AT ME!!" he yells. The dadest dad behavior to ever dad. I can so easily picture this from my dad. "Look at me when I'm talking to you! Do what I say!" You have no choice but to shut up and obey unless you want to lose your allowance heist mission

Maybe he does actually care?

The night before the heist, Luthen is acting very strange, so much so that Kleya calls him out for being nervous. This is understandable given the stakes. BUT!

“They’re either going to be okay out there or they’re not” from Kleya is interesting. Be okay, rather than do okay. Like she knows he’s particularly worried about their safety, about one person’s safety especially?

And Vel’s mentioned in the very next line, reminding us of their connection again: "Vel's the only one who traces back" -- could be because she’s the only one who’s seen him, but who would actually be able to “trace” that??

Vel's need for approval

Veeerrryyyyy familiar to every eldest daughter constantly ignored by dad, seen most prominently in her interactions with Kleya

First right after the heist -- "Where is he?" ... "He read your message." "I really thought he'd be here?" Oh? Why's that? Why would he be there unless it was personal? Unless there was some sort of expectation of praise for the job well done, or comfort after losing so much of the team?

Later, before Ferrix, Vel won't give Kleya the information about Maarva's death until she secures the "I'll make sure he knows where it came from" promise from her

Rebellion is a family affair

"But Chip, Vel can't be related to Mon and Luthen!" Why not? There's nothing really that says Luthen isn't/can't be Mon's uncle

In fact, it might even make it easier to understand how a prominent Senator who's outwardly so centrist and careful could get Luthen's attention -- they always knew each other!

Anyway, a visual aid made months ago by @jedi-valjean, outlining the possible family tree, along with what seems to be the typical Chandrilan matriarchal naming conventions:

Vel Sartha, nepo baby

Vel absolutely does not have the experience or the stomach to be leading a mission like Aldhani. Why did he let her? That's right, nepotism

Hints to this in both her interactions with Kleya -- first "this is what revolution looks like" and then "You're off the rails. You're lucky he's not here"

She's clearly not ready and messing things up, but she's not facing any consequences for it because of her proximity to Luthen

Their second interaction

The convo on Ferrix is less loaded but still interesting

Vel looking at him and greeting him with a hint of "oh so you do acknowledge that I exist....but only because I have the information you need"

Again, the way they talk to each other is oddly informal for a boss and subordinate. Plus at the end he gives her tasks like a dad handing out chores

(also seems to like saying Cinta's name to her. supportive of his daughter's girlfriend, that gets him some good dad points)

Luthen's talk with Lonni

pound for pound, this is the most important part outside of their first interaction

As Lonni comes down in the elevator, Luthen congratulates him on becoming a father to a "healthy, beautiful" daughter. Tells him he must be pleased

Lonni thinks he's being threatened, asks "Do you ever think how it might feel from my side?" And Luthen tells him "I think about you constantly."

This. Shit. Makes. Me. CRAZY.

Because Luthen *was* Lonni. Just a guy with a daughter, trying to fight for something better

Also he sacrifices Kreegyr and all his men just to keep Lonni’s cover from being blown. Obviously that’s selfish on one hand, he gets to keep his spy, but also….Lonni’s daughter gets to keep her dad. I don’t think Luthen's just saying that to appease him. “You love your daughter," he says. The whole thing hits home for him and he thinks about it constantly

Basically the whole scene is a conversation between Luthen as he is now and Luthen as he could have been -- “Your investment in the rebellion is epic. A double life. Every day a performance.” He’s TALKING TO HIMSELF

And what does Luthen sacrifice? "...Kinship....Love" -- the love of his family? His kin? He may have his daughter in his life but they're hardly more than coworkers because of what they have to do. They're both sacrificing a real relationship with each other

"I burn my decency for someone else's future" -- he's sacrificed being a good father to fight and make a better future for his daughter!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The shoutout to his ego not having a "mirror" calls us back to Vel and Cinta's conversation, another probably deliberate thread supposed to connect them in our minds

"You'll stay with me, Lonni" can mean both that he's not letting Lonni out of this and, again, that he's always thinking of him (always thinking of that other version of his life)

The Conclusions

Putting together all the evidence and the fact that no one in the show seems to know about the connection between them, I can basically come to two possible conclusions:

Vel didn't find out this man was her father until she was already an adult

She knew him as a child but then he began making his calculations and left her and her mother

Either way, they would have gone years without interacting and thus it would be easy to hide their true connection once they've been reunited. And either way, their relationship would be as strained as it appears. Vel would want to have his attention and approval in a way she never did before, and Luthen would feel guilty enough to give her a job she hasn't really earned.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

#i've fully lost it #this was fun tho. no ragrets #andor #luthen rael #vel sartha #honestly feels like i still left some stuff out but good grief #my posts #bookmarks

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thatwriterchaotic · 1 year

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You all wanted a second chapter so here it is.

What Are We?... continued

Summary: After your first time with Daryl, you both have been wanting to go further. But Daryl had been so busy lately with work. Not paying enough attention to you. So you decide to surprise him when he comes home from work.

Pairing: Pre Apocalypse!Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: [18+] dom!Daryl, man handling, jealousy, hickeys, biting, oral, male receiving, throat sex, shower sex, p n v, creampie, unprotected sex, [DON'T DO THAT] scratching, little choking. This is the dirtiest thing I have ever written. You all asked for this-

It almost seemed like he was ignoring you on purpose. Constantly being at work all the time. His job just fired another employee for sketchy activity around the shop. Meaning Daryl had to pick up the slack and take care of it. Yes it made good money, but you also needed your man. Ever since the other night when he ate you out you couldn't stop thinking about him. The way he made you feel. The way his mouth felt on your body. Leaving marks all over as a reminder the next day. You felt yourself ache just thinking about him.

Daryl would be off work here soon. Maybe you could surprise him somehow. That's when you realized that Daryl always took a shower after work. Needing to scrub the sweat and oil off his skin. You had the perfect plan. Just had to wait until he got home. A couple of hours had passed until you heard footsteps on your front porch. Daryl must be home. "Hey baby! Ya home?" Daryl called out to you. Daryl kicked off his boots and threw the car keys into the bowl on the side table. "In here D!" You yelled back to him. Seeing him walk towards you. You smiled and stood up as he pulled you close to him. Your chest pressed up against his. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Practically burying yourself into his chest. "Mmm my girl, missed ya so much" He muttered into your hair not wanting to let go of you.

"Missed you too Daryl, been at work a lot lately" You said softly as you looked up at him. Gently brushing his hair away from his face. He always looked so damn handsome. "I know baby, It won't be long until they hire another guy. I make good money doing this too" Daryl said as he ran his hands up and down your back. His hands on your back made an electrifying feeling go up your spine. "Just want my man home is all" You said as you kissed his cheek. "Now go get cleaned up I'll have dinner done soon" You said trying to get your plan into motion.

Daryl leaned down and pecked your lips sweetly, giving your butt a little love tap as he made his way to the bathroom. You waited a few minutes until you heard the water running. You went up to your bedroom and grabbed some comfortable clothes for Daryl. You set them on the bed as you slowly open the bathroom door. Wanting this to be a surprise. You walked in noticing Daryl didn't hear you come in. You closed the door and started to undress. Throwing your clothes into the hamper. You carefully pulled the shower curtain back and got in. Wrapping your arms around Daryl's waist nuzzling into his back. "Hey baby" You said softly.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he felt your arms around him. "Jesus girl, gonna give me a heart attack sneaking up on me like that" Daryl said as he turned around to face you. God he looked so damn good. His hair sticking to his forehead from the water rushing down his body. His happy trail that led down to his dick, already half hard. "Sorry baby, I didn't mean to scare you. I just couldn't keep my hands to myself" You said as you moved your hands up his chest. Loving the feeling of his body under your hands. "I can make it up to you" you said as you slowly got down on your knees. He deserved this after all the hard work he's been doing.

"God you look so damn beautiful like that for me girl" You heard Daryl say as he looked down at you. He cupped the side of your face. Just admiring you. You smiled a little before taking his cock into your hands. Gently placing opened mouth kisses to the side of his shaft. You heard a quick inhale from Daryl above. Loving the idea that he was getting turned on just from you. Placing one last kiss on his tip before slowly sucking his cock into your mouth. He tasted like heaven. "Just like that baby, nice and slow for me" Daryl encouraged you as he gently took your hair into his hand. Holding it back for you.

You hummed softly sending vibrations through him as you took more into your mouth. Using your hand to stroke the rest of his dick that couldn't fit into your mouth. You slowly started to bob your head up and down. Keeping your hand with the same rhythm. You kept hearing Daryl whimper and grunt. Happy that you could make him feel good. It wanted you to take more of him. "Just relax for me and open up, I know you can take more of my cock" Daryl said as he looked down at you. You relaxed your mouth and opened up more. As Daryl slowly thrust his cock further down your throat. You placed your hands on his hips as you swirled your tongue around his shaft. Making him groan so deliciously.

"That's a good girl, taking my dick so well" Daryl grunted as he slowly pulled back out and back in. Starting to fuck your throat. You hummed around his cock as you looked up at him with innocent eyes. "Oh don't gimme that look baby, especially when my cocks down your throat" Daryl kept thrusting into your mouth at a steady pace. Hearing him groan and whimper from the pleasure. He was so vocal. You reached down and started to play with yourself. Gently stroking over your clit with your fingers. Daryl started to speed up, fucking your throat so good. You focused on your breathing, letting him take whatever he needed from you.

"Fuck sweetheart, Gonna make me cum with that mouth of yours. Such a dirty fucking slut aren't ya?" Daryl groaned as he slammed into the back of your throat. You let your jaw go slack, drooling all over yourself. You sped up your fingers, pressing down harder on your clit. Your pussy ached for Daryl. Needing him to fuck you good and hard. You moaned around his cock as you slipped two fingers into your cunt. Thrusting them in and out. "Need me to fuck you baby? Need my dick deep inside your pussy?" Daryl said as he looked down at you. Watching you touch yourself. He pulled his cock out of your mouth and made you stand up.

Daryl quickly pinned you against the shower wall. One of his hands on your throat. He gently squeezed the sides not wanting to hurt you. Just enough to make your head feel foggy. "If you want my cock baby, you gotta tell me. Tell me what you want" Daryl said as he looked you in the eyes. You whined and looked back at him. "Please Daryl.. I need you so badly, Please fuck me" You practically begged him. Daryl caved and leaned in kissing you roughly on the lips. Teeth crashing against teeth.

He tapped your leg, making you jump up. Wrapping your legs around his waist. Daryl moved his hand from your throat grabbing underneath your thighs to hold you up. You kept kissing him as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Daryl slowly pulled away and started kissing on your neck. Leaving a trail down to your chest. Starting to gently suck and bite, making you moan softly. You loved when he left marks on your body. That's when Daryl found the sweet spot on your chest. He harshly bit down making you almost yelp but God did it feel so good. "C'mon Daryl please baby, I need you really fucking bad. I need your cock" You whined wanting him to do more. Daryl slapped the side of your leg making you wince. "Don't be such a desperate little slut, I'll give it to ya girl" Daryl said into your ear, rubbing his cock in between your slit. The tip of his cock rubbing right against your clit. Making you arch your back. Daryl loved teasing you. Until enough was enough and he needed you too.

Daryl slowly thrusted his cock into your wet pussy. The both of you gasping at the feeling. He went slow at first letting you stretch around him. He took your nipple into his mouth to distract you from the slight pain. Making you moan softly. Running your hands through his wet hair. The water was hot as it rushed down your collided bodies. Daryl sucked on your nipple as he played with the other. You couldn't stop moaning. He was so good with his mouth. "Fuck D, that feel so good" You told him as you looked down at him. He looked so fucking sexy like this. His pupils blow wide with lust. His cheeks a shade of pink. Daryl slowly started to thrust in and out of you. His mouth not leaving your tits. You gently gripped onto his hair, feeling him fuck into your pussy.

Daryl only went harder and harder. Abusing your pussy with his cock. The sounds of skin on skin bounced around the bathroom. Along with your moans. He felt so fucking deep hitting just that right spot. "Mm- Fuck! Faster baby! Please" You moaned out not caring if your neighbors heard you. Daryl jackhammered his cock into you. Moving his hand down to play with your clit. You arched your back more, your nails scratching down Daryl's back. Knowing there would be marks tomorrow. Daryl took your nipple out of his mouth and smirked as he looked at you. You were a total wreck. Your hair was soaking wet and sticking to your skin. Water droplets rolled down your body each time he thrusted up into your pussy. "You look so fucking beautiful, I'm the only one who can see how much of a slut you are for me" Daryl groaned as he leaned in and kissed you on the lips. You moaned into the kiss, starting to move your hips to match with his thrusting. You could feel the band in your stomach start to tighten. You where getting so close. Just needed a little more.

"Only a slut for you, please make me cum. I-I'm so close!" You practically shouted. Daryl groaned and sped up faster, he moved his fingers quicker on your clit. He needed to make you cum first. He was determined too. "C'mon baby, you can do it. Cum for me. Cum on my cock" Daryl encouraged you as he kissed on your neck. You moaned Daryl's name loudly as you came all over his cock. You felt like you were on cloud nine all over again. You moaned loudly as Daryl kept fucking into you. "That's it girl, doing so good for me. So close just a little more" Daryl groaned before he thrusted deep inside you. Cumming into your tight pussy. He panted heavily as you both slowly came down from your highs.

Daryl placed soft kisses all over your face as he rubbed your thighs. You hummed softly still very out of it. Your legs still shaking from your orgasm. Daryl held you close as he slowly set your legs down. "I got you sweetheart, I'll take care of you" Daryl said sweetly as he held you close and got you cleaned up. You loved how sweet Daryl was after. Always taking care of you. The water in the shower started to run cold. Making you whimper. Daryl quickly turned it off and helped you out. Wrapping a towel around you.

You slowly came back down to earth. Feeling the shake leave your legs. "I love you Daryl" You said softly as you looked at him. Daryl smiled and placed a soft and loving kiss on your lips. "I love you too Sunshine, Now c'mon let's get you to bed".

#the walking dead #daryl dixon #twd daryl #daryl x reader #twd fanfiction #daryl dixion imagine #daryl imagines #daryl dixon smut #smut #my writing #writer #writers on tumblr

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axailslink · 1 year

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I Felt Filthy

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Summary: you're a church going woman you were raised this way and sex is looked down on until marriage. One thing leads to another with your girlfriend Riri and now you can't help but feel disgusted with yourself.

A/n: You can thank religious practices for this one being raised in a Christian household I had these thoughts after masterbation and I still do. Kind of sucks to be honest I immediately felt immense disgust within myself so this has to do with that... Hopefully I'm not the only one who has experienced this problem.

The soap just wasn't working enough for you it couldn't wash away your thoughts of tonight she kissed every inch of your body and you let her while God was watching. What would your mother say? She knew you had a different taste but there was no way she was going to let sex with that "different taste" fly. When you get out of the shower with your towel loosely wrapped around you you're shaky which causes Riri to jump at your attention "hey baby is it cold?" You look at Riri and shake your head but she can see there is something underlying "what's wrong?" "Why do I feel so disgusted? Why do I feel like what we did wasn't... Right? It didn't feel...not right." Riri is taken all the way off guard by such a question you watch as she hesitates on her answer "I think I should keep my opinions to myself I'm not exactly sure why but I'll do whatever I can to calm that feeling down." She gently grabs you in a hug but you push her away "stop touching me" she nods as she pulls away slowly "uhm do you know why you feel disgusted? Did I do something to disgust you?" You shake your head "no of course not it just felt amazing but I've always been told that I shouldn't feel good doing such things. I was told that by my parents by my church..."

Riri nods as it slowly starts to come together "you were raised in the church? Look we don't have to do anything anymore we didn't have to do that. You should not in any way feel disgusted because of what was done. I love you and you love me and it's completely fine to do what we did. Do not punish yourself because what you did felt good it's supposed to." You nod slowly and she gently moves the towel seeing your irritated skin she pulls you to the bed and grabs some lotion. "Has it always been this bad?" You shake your head "no I could kiss a girl maybe even get handsy. Sure I felt like I shouldn't have afterwards but I've never felt disgusted of myself I've never enjoyed something so much that I felt guilty... Riri you made me feel wonderful and cared for. Your fingers gently ran over my skin caressing every part of me. I just... I'm not used to being touched like that I opened up so willingly and everything we did felt filthy afterwards. I felt filthy because I experienced so much pleasure tonight." Riri gently hugs your back "I'm sorry." You nod slowly "I promise I don't feel disgusted because of you it's just how I was raised I was raised in the belief that looking at you the way I do is beyond forgivable kissing you the way I do is disgusting touching you the way I do it's not right not in my parents eyes." Riri always has to be the comedian she smiles and says "remind me to never meet your parents" you straight face and her smile slowly fades. "I'm sorry that was rude of me" you gently smile "no it was funny trust me let's not meet them ever."

Riri shakes her head "that's sadly not possible because when you marry me oh I'm meeting the parents and it doesn't matter if they don't like me or us together they're going to absolutely despise us why? Because I'm not shy of what I want I'll hold your hand, kiss you just to spite them, and may get a little frisky just to give them a bit of a heart attack." You laugh and slap her shoulder "don't say that they'd go crazy if they saw you stare at me too long." Riri smiles "you know you can talk to me about this? We can stop being intimate if it helps." You nod "I don't want to I like kissing you and...doing other things" Riri smiles at your little pause in words "yeah other things lik-" you cover her mouth with your hands and she laughs "you talk too much shh." Riri licks your hand causing you to pull your hand away and gently slap her chest with it "why are you licking me!?" She only laughs in return "I've told you about putting your hands near my mouth." You laugh and plant a soft kiss on her lips as you try to pull away she chases after your lips trying to draw you back in but you tap her chest and she smiles.

The thoughts of course bothered you all throughout the night you couldn't sleep right wondering if it was really okay to love someone so much that you'd be willing to give them your all in the nude. It doesn't matter though because Riri never leaves her face stays planted in your neck as she tucks her arm underneath yours keeping you pulled close.

A/n: once again I wrote this because of specific beliefs I was brought up in. So this does not apply to everyone but it does apply to me and maybe some other people.

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stardewvalleybut-i-draw · 5 months

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Qna Answers!

Ever since you mentioned that you do darker art besides stardew I've been super curious! Is there anywhere we can follow your work?

NOPE! this is more or less the first time I had much of a social media presence, I did make an Instagram when I was around 12 but I lost the password to it, and honestly... It's best I never find it...BUT I would like to post my other art somewhere! Let me know what social media I should use If you have ideas and I'll go make one! :D

I could use Instagram again but I haven't heard too many great things since I left.

What’s your favorite thing about Stardew? Do you have any other games you’d like to make comics about?

I love the fishing and mining aspect of the game! that and the mini-games. You'd think it be the socializing aspect with what I make but there's just something satisfying about making progress in the mines or getting that impossible to catch fish.

I don't usually have a lot of money to spend on games so I tend to go indie but I also never expected to be making art about Stardew so not really. If I like the characters, I might make comics about them but this is the first time I've done comics about games ever so maybe in the future.

Who is your least favorite bachelor and bachelorette

This was a really hard question to answer, I don't have a least favorite bachelor or bachelorette, I just have favorites. The main reason why is because I've either met people who are like the bachelor's or I can relate to them on a personal level so it's hard for me to dislike anyone BUT THATS A COP OUT ANSWER so I really pushed myself to find something to not like.

I'm gonna get torched but Elliot- gifts are super expensive to get, I know I can just give neural gifts but it's a bad habit of mine of going for the loved gifts and my guys got EXPENSIVE tastes or gifts that aren't easy to get BUT It fits his character as it implies he came from a more luxurious lifestyle. (if the Victorian clothing wasn't a big enough hint) but again, I don't dislike him, he has a lot of comedic potential!

I'm gonna get MURDERD for this one, Leah- I CAN NEVER FIND HER. Her pathing and my pathing NEVER collide and I keep forgetting she goes to the beach to draw sometimes so I never go there and I go to the wiki to find where in the WORLD she is at and 99% of the time is in the cortege but I can't get to her because I don't have 2 hearts yet because I don't run into her unless I remember to look in the saloon IF shes there BUT again, I do not dislike her...I dislike her pathing and that's on me for not thinking ahead. Plus this problem goes away once I DO have 2 hearts.

Whats your favorite crop and who’s your favorite bachelorette?

Coffee! (gee what a surprise 😅) I just love it when I can get one seed, grow it, and then harvest it and multiply my coffee crops by a huge amount! It's not worth much but it's just a satisfying crop to have.

Maru- not exactly a popular pic but I had a lot of friends who were 10X smarter than me growing up so Maru just naturally reminds me a lot of my closest friends, THAT and she's easy for me to bump into in the clinic.

(I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT 💀 but I think it said-) What software do you youse and what do you recommend?

I use Krita, and couldn't recommend it more! (scroll down more to the archive and there are more details about it)

and a UGEE tablet BUT I got it as a free gift. So far I haven't had to replace it yet and has lasted a good amount of time (my old ones lasted a year until I had to replace it) so Idk if I can recommend it and it's kinda expensive. (for me anyway) I'm honestly dreading the day something happens to it and I have to get it replaced :(

It costs about $60usd right now

Question Archive! - stuff I was asked before here for you to find :D

(some of it, the rest is tagged with #ask)

Whats your chickens name (the chicken in your pfp)?

Tudee-chi or Tudee for short!

Got any advice for perfection?

This website apparently! That and the Stardew Wiki

Okay I have to ask: favorite Bachelors and Bachelorettes?

Alright! Here's a tier list from Favorate to I'm chill with them!

Do you think that the male and female farmer can co-exist as a pair of chaotic twin siblings with joint ownership of the farm?

And I don't see why not! It's more fun that way

Sorry to bother, but can i ask what you use to draw?

Not a bother at all! I love answering questions!!! I use Krita

Who is your favorite stardew Bachelor?

Harvey! and for the dumbest reasons...Harvey ended up being my favorite bachelor for 2 main reasons

Sorry to bother but do you happen to have any tips/advice on drawing bodies and heads??

I ABSOLUTELY DO!!! it's no bother at all

What you need to keep in mind is that a lot of my advice is a suggestion and what I'm comfortable with-

For the future, this will be a question archive of things I'm asked to keep it easy to find once the Mega pin post is ready!

#stardew valley #sdv #ask #Thank you for the questions!

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summermoonshine · 7 months

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Call Of Duty MWIII - SPOILERS

Below, some clips + videos from MWIII where we'll analyse what happened to Soap.

After sharing them, however, I would like to say a few things (if you not interested in this, I understand, but please: just skip that part as I really need to vent about the matter; my apologies).

Now, the clips.

Let's start with the Soap's death (full video will be uploaded in a separate post because it deserves respect):

Wanting to deliberately leave out the fact that Makarov had complete freedom to engage a firefight without being captured (the idiotic run after killing Soap is truly ridiculous compared to Makarov in MW3), what is inevitable to do is, for me, to compare the dynamics with something already seen: does this scene remind you of anything? No? Maybe this will jog your memory:

This is in addition to what said by Makarov to Captain Price:

"Never bury your enemies alive". Who else was buried alive if not Ghost himself (according to '09 backstory)? This could justify the lack of an official backstory for Ghost 22: would Soap's death be his true downfall into the underworld? Mh.

Speaking of him, I so resent Soap's death for many reasons (which I'll discuss shortly), but above all because by killing him, they also killed Ghost: one shot, two deaths. Ghost had started to live again thanks to Soap, and it was with him that he died, too. Until the end, he was stood next to him because ''no one fights alone''. The fact that, even under the threat of a bomb capable of neutralizing half the world, Ghost chose to remain next to Soap as he bled to death to me is everything. The stone-cold man, detached and attached only to the field manual (where friendship does not even appear), he is the one who SCREAMS his sergeant's name. Let's hear the pain in his voice:

Sure, it could be a standard reaction of any man who sees his teammate killed before his eyes, but no one would expect such a reaction from the 'stone-cold man'. But a mask isn't enough to hide the pain: He's lost; his eyes roaming for help:

He's out of breath, his chest moving up and down as if he's not just catching his breath, but holding back an explosion. Cry? Tears? Anger?

I slowed down this part to highlight how the head-shake was not just to confirm the death, indicating that there was nothing left to be done, but it was personal: he can't believe his eyes, and his heavy breathing confirms it.

At that precise moment, they didn't just kill Ghost; they killed Simon, too.

In fact, in the clip below (I cut+slowed it) it's Simon (see the mask) who takes care of Johnny after his death: he keeps Johnny in his backpack, holds the urn from start to finish, he has the task of scattering the ashes in what appears to be a Scottish's mountain, and he is the one who brings HIM back home with him.

He is family.

It's precisely when talking about family that I can't stop thinking about the quantity of ashes in his urn. The amount of ashes is small: what if half the ashes went to Soap's family and Ghost kept the other half?

Also, Soap has managed to make himself loved by everyone, and this is why I consider this scene (pic below) to be of fundamental importance: the act of adding his nickname stands for: ''you were not a soldier, but something dear to me''.

The document is drawn up by Laswell, the one who protected Task Force 141 from behind the scenes even when General Shepherd had betrayed them, showing that the relationship between them all goes far beyond the working one:

it is a matter of heart.

It's for this reason that I feel like I must say some things about all this: there is so much to say actually but, as absurd as it may be, I felt the strong need to take some time for myself and understand what to do with this pain. As a player and historical supporter of the COD saga, I can say that in 20 years I have never seen the fandom as active, lively and full of passion as in 2022.

As I already explained, it was vital to me that AV gave Soap another chance after mw3. Sure, it's a war videogame and deaths are therefore inevitable, but killing the same character twice with the sole hope of making us hate Makarov so as to have more hype for the next COD (which, personally, I doubt will follow this arc since I define it now concluded although there are still unresolved issues) it was a stupid move to make, because by doing so we are hating AV, not Price or Makarov himself.

Furthermore, what is most infuriating is that if the COD family has started to be so creative and enthusiastic again, it is above all thanks to Saop (and to our Neil along with others VA; unfortunately, not every one of them).

Each of the protagonists in MWII was perfect, earning a special place in our hearts, but it is clear that Soap and the relationship established with Ghost were the catalyst of definitive affection that connected us so deeply to the reboot, leading us to buy even a new game that, more than a campaign, more than a DLC, is a scam:

rushed dialogues, too many characters piled on top of each other, typical warzone game dynamics with such a short duration that each level becomes chaotic etc etc etc… 2, maximum 3 hours later, we find ourselves with a Soap killed, slaughtered and left to die with total dullness and without any emotional focus DURING our game without even receiving a cutscene dedicated to him.

And, as if that wasn't enough, by killing him, Ghost was also indirectly killed: for once, perhaps for the first real time, that man - always represented as cold - had found a family and something, someone to hold on to : taking it, taking HIM, away from him, they demolished two people with a single shot.

Atrocious.

Treating one of the characters who has practically supported the entire current COD fortune on his shoulders in this way is, for me, a great injustice, as well as a stupid move.

Again, I don't hate Makarov; I hate AV.

Soap 22 will forever be our comfort zone, because he has never been just a video game character, but our home.

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tired-teacher-blog · 2 years

Note

Hiya, teach!! It's been a while since I've made a request, and I didn't see anything about your requests being closed?? Feel free to ignore it if they are, tho :D

So, I have an idea based off of situations I've found myself in. Which is to say, I'm just over 5 feet tall (5'3 - 5'4), but I'm also super strong! So, I was wondering if I could request a gender-neutral reader picking up Bakugo, Dabi, Shigaraki, Ochako, and Toga and their reactions to getting picked up and carried around? You don't have to write all of them if you don't want, but they're some of my favorite characters :D

Ok, hope you have a good day/night, and take your time if you decide to write this ♡♡♡

You know? This was such an adorable request and I truly enjoyed it so thank you so much for requesting babe ❤️ and I hope you have a great weekend.

Title : I'll carry you to heaven

Characters : Bakugo/ Dabi/ Toga/ Ochaco/ Shigaraki/ Gender neutral reader

Genre : Fluff/ angst/ suggestive

Trigger warning : Mentions of bodily injuries

Please do not read if you're a minor

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

Bakugo :

_ "Katsuki, are you not done yet?" you leaned against the door frame, crossing your arms over your chest as an irritated expression plastered itself across your face, "I'm getting really bored without you."

_ "Then maybe you should join me." his smug smirk and suggestive wink were the last thing you needed at that moment.

The tapping of your foot quickened as you watched him get back to his sit ups, only to come to a swift halt as a devilish idea popped up in your head.

_ "I don't need the extra workout and you know it," you approached him slowly, arms still resting across your chest until you were towering over his big sweaty muscled form, "I can easily kick your ass sweetheart." and that was your turn to offer him a teasing wink.

It wasn't strange that his only response was a sarcastic roll of his eyes since he knows first hand how powerful you can be.

In fact, your strength is one of the sexiest things he's seen in his life– something he never fails to remind you of, and in a few seconds, he was able to witness that side of you again but with a dash of playfulness, as you squatted down hooking one arm under his knees as the other supported his back, before standing back up with him in your hold and waltzing out of the room.

_ "The fuck! Put me down y/n this isn't funny!" his screaming protests invaded your poor ears, but it was worth it.

_ "I beg to differ, how does it feel like to be carried around by someone smaller than you are?" your teasing continued until you reached your full length bedroom mirror, "you always rave about my strength so why don't you feast your eyes on what I'm capable of doing?"

He did, silently checking out your reflection with a mixture of embarrassment and obvious admiration that he couldn't– for the life of him, hide from you.

_ "Alright you win," his lips moved closer to trace your ear, "let's go to bed and I'll show you how impressed I am gorgeous."

His words weakened your resolve, and you almost, almost lost your composure straight away.

Toga :

Vampire..

Demon..

Killer..

_ "This is getting boring to be honest, don't you think?" Himiko leaned her head against your shoulder as she observed the new scribbles on the walls, "I was hoping for something new, but they keep writing down the same things each time." her smile was fake– though it might've been convincing to a regular onlooker, but that is not who you are.

You are the one who knows her better than anyone else in the world, "I know right? Fucking idiots." you glared at the poorly written insults which were obviously done hurriedly.. like usual, "let's go back sweetie, you don't have to keep coming here." but you knew it was useless to suggest that, since for some reason she kept coming back to her abandoned family home in order to erase the vicious jottings people liked to leave on the walls.

_ "Let me just clean this up first." she giggled as she started with the task that kept bringing her home every couple of days.

But you were sick of it all.

Sick of the way people never missed a chance to punish her for something she was born carrying, something she had always struggled with and failed to control.

_ "No, this has to stop today." you muttered through clenched teeth before picking her up without a warning, and walking out of that suffocating place.

_ "Y/n, what.. wait.. how," and for once she was at a loss for words.

Was it because– for once, you stood firm against her wishes? Or was it since you did so by carrying her in your arms when you had never done that before?

_ "We're leaving sweetie and that's final, so don't protest."

And she didn't, instead she held on to you tightly, nodding her head as a sincere smile adorned her features.

It was unusual witnessing her quieter side, was she perhaps shy?

_ "You're awfully quiet love, are you feeling alright?" it wasn't an attempt to tease her, you were genuinely worried.

_ "I'm fine just, don't put me down." your heart swelled witnessing this new discovered side of her.

_ "I would never."

Dabi :

_ "Careful!" Touya yelled before pushing you roughly out of danger's way.

You stumbled and fell, crashing onto the hard ground, but that was unimportant.

What mattered the most was your man's condition after receiving the blow in your stead.

_ "Touya! What did you do?" you wobbled back to him, tears already threatening to fall.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, that one wouldn't believe your crew had the upper hand over the heroes just moments ago.

_ "Fuck! Where did that come from? They're using weapons now?" he growled as he struggled to get back up, but his leg was badly injured for him to move anywhere.

_ "Let me see! How bad is it?" you were no longer able to hold back your sobs, "Why did you do this?"

_ "I wasn't gonna let you die idiot, now get out of here before one of them arrives." he was in pain, yet his smirk hadn't left his face since he was trying to reassure you in his own way.

_ "No way, I'm not leaving you behind! Our friends are covering for us so don't worry about a thing," you inspected his injury before tearing up a piece of your shirt to wrap around his thigh, "this should help with the bleeding for now, but we have to get you out quickly."

_ "I can't move y/n," he shook his head and watched as the ferocious fight got nearer, "please listen to me for once and get out of here."

_ "No way, I'm capable enough to carry you in my arms." you mumbled confidently and slipped your arms carefully around his body before standing up with ease and hurrying out of the battlefield.

He was too shocked to say a word, and for a moment, forgot about his busted leg, yet his eyes had never left your determined features.

_ " You're full of surprises y/n," he was clearly impressed, "I wasn't wrong about you, you're one of a kind."

Your expressions softened as you listened to his praises, the one who loves you the most, your biggest supporter.

Ochaco :

You yawned, stretching your arms over your head as you watched the end credits roll up the screen.

_ "Come on gorgeous, it's time for bed," your eyes moved down to your chest where your girlfriend had chosen to settle, "Ochaco, are you asleep already?" your voice dropped to a whisper as your lips rested against her soft hair.

Her only response was a quiet whimper and a tighter hold on your shirt. Cute.

You contemplated staying that way on the couch, cooped up with your girl until morning, if not for the idea of you both waking up with sore muscles in a few hours.

_ "Hey babe, can you hear me?" you tried again, but her soft snores and warm breath fanning over your neck were enough proof that she was indeed sound asleep.

You moved carefully, sneaking your arms around her unconscious form before sitting up and bringing her with you.

She was still comfortably slumbering and you couldn't help the chuckle escaping your throat as you lovingly observed the steady rise and fall of her chest.

Getting off the couch while carrying her in your arms was no big deal, even despite not being much bigger than she is. Though apparently moving around too much had pulled her back from dreamland.

_ "Y/n, what's going on?" her beautiful big eyes blinked in clear confusion and you couldn't resist kissing her cute pouty lips.

_ "I'm carrying you to bed gorgeous."

_ "It's a dream, 'must be a dream." she nuzzled your neck while mumbling against your skin, and you would have thought she was joking if she hadn't fell back to sleep afterwards.

Granted, that was a first for you– picking her up and carrying her in your arms, but her reaction was teasing, even if she wasn't fully conscious of it.

_ "Well then sweetheart, maybe I should start doing this more often until you believe it." you smirked as you finally walked into your bedroom.

Shigaraki :

You pulled on his hair and whined longingly as his lips left yours and moved to devour the warm skin of your neck.

Ever since he possessed full control over his quirk, you became unable to keep your hands off one another. It was as if you wished to compensate for all the time you couldn't freely feel each other's touch.

_ "Tenko, take off your shirt now, I want to feel more of you, please." it was an unending craving you had for one another.

_ "Me too beautiful, this isn't enough." he sat up, removing his shirt and leaning in immediately to recapture your lips.

Your moans were swallowed by his eager mouth and his rough skin against yours felt like heaven.

_ "I love you, Tomura, I love you so much." no matter how many times you've said it, it was never enough.

_ "Me too sweetheart, I love you the most, I fucking love everything about you, especially how your strength can easily match mine." he muttered between a trail of fervent kisses on your neck, chest, and tummy. Only to stop and lift his head up when your chuckles vibrated against his lips.

_ "I'm happy to know that's how you feel," your fingers ran through his messy hair, "most of my previous partners were intimidated by that, especially considering my short stature."

_ "Don't mention any of those bastards again," he was obviously irritated, "keep your eyes on me, only on me." he looked like a little puppy burying his face deep in your chest.

_ "I'm sorry Tomura, I will never do that again," you didn't mean to upset him, so you tried to find a quick way to cheer him up.

And suddenly, your smile returned as you sat up, sneaking your palms to support his butt cheeks before getting out of the bed.

He wrapped his legs around your waist to avoid falling, and the high pitched scream he let out pierced your ears.

_ "What the hell are you doing?! Put me down right now!"

_ "I'm not gonna, I'll carry you around until you forgive me." and you meant it.

_ "Alright I get it! I'm not mad, I'm just jealous." he whispered the last part against your neck.

_ "You shouldn't be, you're the only one I've ever carried this way, that's why I'm doing it." you wanted to show him what he truly meant to you, and as simple as your way of doing it was, you still hoped it would work.. It did.

_ "Never put me down then."

@afterhourswjay

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novelcain · 1 year

Note

I have a small head cannon now with my version of reader that I wanted to share with you:

She has a lotus pin in her hair due to her association with Quanyin and it has the added bonus of extra protection (like a protection seal)

Just wanted to share, now I’m going back into my hole to finally finish a fic that’s been giving me writers block for two months now.

*gets slapped with writers block in the face*

Gosh darn it….

(By the way any tips on how to overcome writers block?)

That's a pretty interesting idea. Like a lil fashionable talisman~

And good luck with your writing hope you can get through the writers block

As far as tips go, I unfortunately can't help much in the writer's/artist's block since I don't really get it.😬 If anything I just get bursts of laziness where I don't wanna pick up my laptop cause that's too much effort and so end up curled up in my nest scrolling through tiktok all day. But to remedy that, I just force myself to pick up my laptop or @lovesick-ritz will kindly hand it to me so I can get things done.

So here's the tips that I could think of:

Set a designated area or method for writing (ex. I only write on my laptop bc I've assigned it mentally as my preferred place to write)

Make it as easy as possible for you to write (ie. leave the writing tabs open. I personally never have word closed there's always at least my notes tab open but I usually have at least 3 word tabs don't ask me why I'm addicted to keeping tabs open)

Try to get rid of as many distractions as you can like unneeded social media (having a tumblr tab open is always my down fall cause I get distracted by asks)

Since I have adhd and autism complete silence honestly distracts me more than anything so I like to play this 10 hour thunder storm video on YouTube (this also helps with my tinnitus in case anyone else got that)

Another thing I've been told that help is just start writing little notes or just anything at all and maybe that'll spur you into what you want to be writing

Also some random tips if found useful when it comes to writing/drawing:

If you hyperfixate on writing and drawing for long periods of time like I do (like I'm talking about 8 hour sit down don't move sessions) get water and a couple snacks before you start and be sure to stretch at least once an hour

Remember to specifically do full hand stretches to avoid carpal tunnel and writer's/artist's arthritis

Try to get up and walk around as much as possible (if you can as someone with walking issues I know that isn't always easy or even possible)

One thing I like to do to rest my eyes and brain is after a few hours I'll go to Spotify and play a few songs (or in my case one song on repeat I've been particularly obsessed with the Epic sagas since they've come out and have been constant listening to Survive in the Cyclops saga) with your eyes closed. Staring at a screen all day can be harmful to your eyes and brain.

And for drawing with adhd, if you're working on a long piece it can get frustrating to work on one part for long periods of time so keep in mind that if you're start to feel bored or tired with the part that you're working on it's ok to move to a different part. (ie. you've been working on the hair for a while and start to feel understimulated to move to the face or even a completely different area so get that stimulation) It's not like a story where you gotta remember plot points and continuity the whole thing is right there so just work on whatever part catches your fancy. Or hell if you get bored just draw lil scribbles for a second in a corner somewhere until you feel up to going back to the piece.

Please keep in mind while reading these that I by no means have healthy habits. As I stated I hyperfixate on projects and will often neglect my human needs for extremely long periods on accident; however, I am lucky enough to have a very attentive partner that reminds me and encourages me to take care of myself and helps me when I can't. (Love you Ritz. Literally couldn't live without you~ mwah💜)

HOWEVER! Because of this I am extremely used to living with unhealthy habits and have an OBSENE amount of tips for dealing/living with them so if anyone wants some autism/adhd/depression/anxiety (all of which I have kinda extreme forms of) life tips lemme know and I'll write a whole essay for you. Tho again I will say these tips are not cures. These conditions are permanent so these tips would just be ways to make living with them a little easier. (Honestly I might just make that post even if no one asks for it on the off chance that helps even one person)

#skittle answers #isekai'd to the west #isekai'd to the west headcanons #tips for writers #tips for artists #advice #writer's block

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the-fiction-witch · 7 months

Text

Little Fairy P1

Media IRL

Character Thomas Brodie Sangster

Couple None

Rating Cute

I leant against the headboard, my book in hand bathed in the gentle glow from the lamp beside my bed. My body tucked up close to the covers to prevent the late autumn chill from freezing my toes. I should really get some sleep as I'm still not used to this goddamn 5:30 alarm. I looked away from my book for a moment as I heard some clattering from the room down the hall. Immediately I became suspicious until I heard fast feet running down the hall and soon enough my bedroom door opened to utter chaos.

"I did it, daddy! I did it!" She yelled as she ran inside and jumped up onto my bed, little Lilly in her little rainbow PJs with one of her little doll houses in hand

"Whoa whoa whoa," I told her getting her to settle down "Now, what's all this about?"

"I did it Daddy I did it!" She yelled

"Okay, first things first. You should be in bed. You have school tomorrow and you going to your mum's this weekend" I reminded her and she nodded a little sheepish "What are you still doing up?"

"Catching fairies!" She smiled

"Lilly darling what have I told you, the fairies are very busy with all their work you shouldn't be bothering them trying to catch them. They do all their work so late so they don't get bothered." I explained pulling her onto my lap and giving her little blonde hair some kisses "Hey, they do all their work at night while all the little boys and girls are sleeping so they can get all their work done without getting disturbed" I explained "how you like it you were at school doing your work and a giant came along and tried to catch up and shove you in a jar" she giggled"you wouldn't like that would you?"

"No"

"That wouldn't be very nice would it?"

"No"

"Good girl, no more trying to catch the fairies there too busy. Now you need to get your glittery little bum to bed or you won't be ready for school tomorrow"

"But daddy I did catch a fairy! I did I did!"

"Did you know?"

"I did! She came in through my window and went to use the little fairy door under my bed but I caught her. I caught her in my little house. Now I'm gonna keep her forever!"

"Forever? That's not very nice Lilly. How would you feel if someone shoved you in a little doll house and took you away forever"

"A big dolly house?"

"That's all you care about? All you worried how big the house is? Wouldn't you miss me? Wouldn't you miss Daddy? If someone took you away forever?"

"I would" She nods cuddling closer

"See you wouldn't like someone to take you away forever you'd miss your family, all your friends at school, all your teddies."

"But I want little pet fairy"

"I know you do, you can keep her for tonight and tomorrow night you let this little fairy go okay? So she can go home to her family? And maybe if you’re very nice to her she might bring some friends who might want to stay with you"

"Okay daddy" she nods

"Good girl, come on then" I smiled lifting her up with me and taking her little doll house as went back to her little bedroom she climbed the ladder of her loft bed laying on her pillow under a sweet pink canopy that made the whole bed look like a princess castle, her room littered with her toys and teddies and her various fairy items including the little fairy door under her bed. I set the doll house on the side where she could see it from her bed. "Right, now you get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning," I told her tucking her in and giving her head a little kiss

"Goodnight Daddy"

"Goodnight Lilly" I smiled

"Will you say goodnight to my fairy too?"

"Of course" I chuckled going to the little house "Goodnight little fairy"

"Goodnight little fairy" she smiled

"Now little girl or little fairy it's bedtime so get some sleep" I told her closing her bedroom door and heading back to bed myself shutting the light off and trying to get some sleep.

I heard the alarm going off and I despaired utterly I felt like I'd been asleep for four minutes, I forced myself out of bed and did my usual morning business, a hot shower, got dressed got started on a quick breakfast and went up to Lilly’s room seeing her sleeping so soundly with her teddy. “Lilly, wakey, wakey sweetheart” I smiled giving her a gentle tickle

“Ahhh noo tickle! No tickle!” She complained

“Come on little lady, breakfast and then it’s time for school,” I told her helping her out of bed, and helping her brush her teeth and get dressed into her school uniform for school, and we headed down and had our breakfast “Remember we need to be home quick so we can pack your bag for your mums tomorrow,” I told her

“I know” she smiled “Will you look after my little fairy while I’m at school?” she asked getting her bag

“I will I promise”

“Thank you,”

“Come on Lilly” I smiled taking her out just as the bus came around the corner “You be a good girl Lilly, I’ll pick you up later okay”

“I will, Look after my fairy daddy!”

“I will do darling go on now or you’ll be late” I told her helping her onto the bus and giving her a wave as the bus headed off to collect the next child.

I went back into the house and cleaned up from breakfast, started on some little chores around the house, I needed to put a load of laundry on so I headed up and gathered some straggler clothes I had littered around my room, the bathroom and I headed into Lilly's room finding a few stray socks and such to make the load up. As I did I caught my eyes on the little doll house on her table, “Fairies” I chuckled to myself she has a thing about fairies, not sure why but I suppose every child is… weird. This is just her weird fascination. I’m sure one day she’ll learn the truth when she is a little older. But I stopped for a moment as a thought came through my mind she says she caught a fairy? I know it’s mostly just her imagination but… part of me was a little worried. I should have checked last night but I was just too tired. I should really check she hasn’t caught anything. Of course, she hadn’t caught a fairy but it could have been a spider, lighting bug, butterfly, something actually alive. So I should probably just check it’s not like… a mouse or anything. So I set the laundry down and peaked inside the small plastic window expecting to see nothing at all and at worst a butterfly or something but I stopped short utterly frozen by what I saw. Inside the little doll house stood a figure no taller than a doll for a moment I thought it was a doll but the movement corrected that in my mind.

She was small perfectly sized for the house, barefoot, in a small dress made of an orange and gold autumnal leaf leaving… little of her to the imagination her hair up in a bun with a small leaf tie, looking at herself in the reflective sticker on the wall meant to be a play mirror.

She looked… beautiful! And that body… holy fuck. Then again that may just be that I’ve been alone a while.

But I couldn’t even explain it! It can’t be possible! Fairies can’t be real!

#tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster imagine #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #tbs #thomasbrodiesangster

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innerslumber · 4 months

Text

So...I've started drawing again. It's rough as all hell but the last few months while sick with pneumonia, I was stuck on my couch a lot and trying to sleep upright. Most nights it was unsuccessful and my brain was too scrambled to read or write, so I'd doodle.

During my teenage and college years, I wrote and drew a fair bit. Went to a ton of anime conventions and haunted the artists alley. But then school, work, family, LIFE just kept coming at me and then 20+ years went by with no creative outlet.

It didn't help that I've had people in my life that constantly discouraged it. That writing and drawing was frivolous and a waste of time. And as the years went by, the harder it was to think I could do it again. It was just easier to tell myself I got more important things to do.

But by some weird happenstance, I fell back into fandom a few years ago and picked up writing again. Now, I am the first person to say that my writing isn't like...earth shatteringly good or anything of that caliber. But that wasn't the point. I just wanted to create again and have fun with my new friends. I write at a glacial pace but at the end of the day, it feels nice to do it again when the inspiration strikes.

Art feels...different. It's incredibly intimidating lol. I know SO MANY INCREDIBLE artists and I've watched them apply themselves for years and I just...I don't know lol. The imposter syndrome is wicked hard. I could never call myself an artist, especially after such a long hiatus.

But a friend recently reminded me that art can literally be a doodle on a post-it note. I don't have to compare myself to others and undermine myself, too scared to even start. And the other day, another friend said I never have to post anything if I don't want to. As long as I'm happy and having fun, that's the whole point.

Creating anything, by word or art, can be so hard. So time consuming. But I'm going to keep trying at both. Right now I'm still figuring things out, especially because I'm trying to make art digitally and I've only done that a few times.

Life is still incredibly busy and hard...and I've been conditioned for years that to enjoy myself was being selfish. Having my abusive husband scream at me that I was a "bad mom and a bad wife" for having a writing hobby and that my online friends and I were "trash" for writing about "men fucking each other" was really demoralizing. I'd wait until when everyone was asleep to write on my phone in the dark. But at the end, I still ended up deleting and leaving behind so much because of his vitriol.

But that isn't my reality anymore. If I have time, I can write when I want to. I can draw when I want to. I don't have to look over my shoulder that I'll get caught doing something that isn't anything to be punished over.

And my art is all over the place but that's okay! I'm experimenting and trying new things. There isn't any high stakes. And I can allow myself to just enjoy it. Maybe I might even post it lol!

#lololol it's kinda hilarious because i see the image in my mind but the fingers are not translating it well #also digital is...it's amazing but also fuck the learning curve lol #I'm old ok??? i used to just draw on paper lol #also I've never drawn smut...so i should totally do that at some point bwahaha #personal #mom life #creative outlet #writing #drawing

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armpirate · 1 year

Text

UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 15

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

I wake up when my body crashes against the floor of my living room, and I suddenly remember what I'm doing here. Still lying on the ground, I stare at the ceiling and try to think why I let her stay in my bed, when I could've taken her home yesterday. But then I remember the pain in her voice as she kept mentioning she didn't want to sleep alone, and how she didn't want to get hurt. And later last night, how she didn't want me to leave her side in my bed either, at least not until she fell asleep next to me.

I catch myself smiling lightly when I remember how fast she was able to doze off, and the nonsense she kept talking about when she got in bed.

What the fuck am I doing?

I shake my head, getting up from the floor and picking everything up to erase any proof that I've slept here. I have enough with being reminded of that back pain that hits me as soon as I stand straight on my feet.

I walk around, unsure on whether I should peek through the door or not. But I do. And while I inspect the room, I find her dirty clothes on the floor. Carefully, I step inside to pick them up, but I end up looking at her. I admire her still sleeping on my side of the bed, as she hugs the pillow tight in between her arms. And maybe I stare at her a little bit too long. Enough to call myself out for being a creep.

I try to find something to do to keep myself busy and while her clothes are washing.

I should be calling Soo and Tam out for leaving her alone in that state, but I remind myself Y/n doesn't want anyone to know what we have going on and getting in an argument with my sister, on why they left Y/n alone last night, would blow our cover straight away.

I lay on the couch again, frustrated with everything that happened, and trying to get rid of it all by turning on my Playstation. There's nothing better for stress other than blowing some zombies' heads -and maybe some assholes', too.

I'm not aware of how long I've been playing, and what time it might be, until my stomach roars over the sound of gunshots.

So I make my way to my bedroom again, peeking through the door again just to find her sitting in the middle of the bed, completely covered with the blankets.

—I see you finally woke up —I tease her

—Please, let me die in peace.

—That's not what you were begging for last night.

I remember how she was constantly asking me to let her lick my lip piercing, and how I almost gave in to her whining.

Shit, she's one hell of a menace.

Trying to get some control back, I open the door completely and lie against the door frame with my arms crossed over my chest. Y/n hurries to get rid of the blankets, looking at me with horror installed in her eyes.

And there's nothing worse she could've done. Messing with her is one of the funniest things.

I take my phone out, and after finding the video I recorded last night, I play it for her with a fast and simple click. She doesn't need to hear too much before she jumps out of the bed and runs to me.

—Delete that —she orders.

I move fast when I see her attempt to reach the phone, stretching my arms as high as I'm able to.

—Ask nicely.

—Nicely my ass —she jumps, to try and reach it—. Just delete it.

—But you look so cute in it —I start walking backwards, not moving my eyes away from her—. How could I delete that?

And that's true. I don't think I'll ever delete that, especially because of how she compliments me only a few seconds later.

Yeah, whenever I need an ego boost, I'm playing this.

Y/n keeps trying to take the phone away from me, which only makes me move before she's able to even touch it. She corners me against the mattress, and the only place I seem able to hide the phone is on my back, making her wrap her arms around me. Our bodies are so close, that I can feel the warmth radiating through her body with every move. I seem to be so distracted by that, that I lose balance at one of those moves. And, unconsciously, I drag her with me to the bed, making her fall on top of me.

I block the screen, finally allowing Y/n to get the phone in her hands, just to see the face she makes right now when she's aware that the phone is blocked.

All that effort for nothing.

Still admiring her shaky pupils and her frowned eyebrows, I take the phone away from her, leaving it on the nightstand.

—Seriously, delete it —she warns me.

—Or what?

She dissects my face carefully, moving her eyes over each mole and little detail she finds. The more she looks at me, the faster the look in her eyes changes. There isn't any fun on them anymore, there's no challenge or mockery; and that gentle blush tinting her cheeks gives away what she's thinking about exactly.

Her eyes fall on my lips, on the lip ring I'm playing with with my tongue. I have to hold back like I've never done before when her lips rub against the mole under my lower lip, only that small touch is almost making me go feral for her.

Keeping my eyes on her all the time, I see her lips parting and the tip of her tongue peeking through them. I know exactly what she's about to do, but I have no time for teasing.

I grab her by her cheeks, cupping her face delicately before we both sink for the sloppiest kiss we've had until date. Our tongues mess with each other, while we suck into each other's lips as if that would satiate us. Her small hands on my chest only encourage me to wander over her body, and sneak under my oversize t-shirt she's wearing right now.

Her skin feels so soft on my fingertips. I trace the curve of her hips and waist, although that seems to be making her nervous, because her mouth starts acting clumsy on mine.

But I know she isn't losing focus when I get closer to her bra, and she suddenly moves back and breaks the kiss. She's horrified and nervous, and her shaky breath isn't due to our kiss. Y/n looks around, as if she was trying to make sure of something.

For a second, I wonder if I've done something wrong. If maybe I touched where I shouldn't have touched.

I must've done something that scared her away. But what exactly?

—Are you okay? —I sit, barely leaving a few centimeters between us.

She nods without looking at me. But even though she's trying to assure me she's okay, I can feel her body trembling against mine. I can feel the way her heart beat is racing against my chest. She's looking at me, but she isn't looking at me at the same time.

—Hey —I grab her chin, making her look up to me—. You sure?

Slowly, I feel her relaxing in my arms, licking her lips as if she were getting ready to speak again.

—Yeah. I just...

I don't need any explanations. I just want her to be okay and sure of what we do. She struggles trying to explain what has just happened between us, but she doesn't need to.

—It's okay —I don't let her finish—. No need to give explanations —ii try to comfort her while rubbing her cheek with my thumb—. Are you hungry?

She nods with a shy smile, something that makes me chuckle instantly.

—I cleaned and dried your clothes —I inform her—. They're in the bathroom —I point out in the living room—. So if you want to, you can change while I prepare lunch.

I get up, and start walking outside to get myself to cook something for her.

—You're good at cooking?

—The best —I scream from the kitchen—. You'll love it.

The best at cooking if you consider a sandwich the most exquisite delicacy you could ever taste. I barely spend any time at home between work and hanging out with the boys, so I mostly eat prepared food or outside. This will be interesting.

I'm focused on preparing some omelets -because I fool myself into thinking they're easy enough to prepare. But soon I start finding trouble when one of them breaks as I try to serve it on a plate.

While I let the other cook slowly, I start to set the table for the two of us; along with a poor salad I prepared with some lettuce, tomatoes and tuna I had in the fridge. I find Y/n looking everywhere in my house, biting her lip nervously as she tries to hold back a smile.

—I don't get why you don't like inviting people over —she mentions—. Your house is cool.

—It doesn't have anything to do with that —she turns to look at me when I speak—. I just think opening your home for somebody to spend quality time there is way too intimate —I shrug—. Too personal.

While it doesn't mean much for others to share your bed with someone, it means a lot to me. I value the privacy and intimacy that brings.

Kind of ironic coming from someone that doesn't care about sleeping in other people's bed when he's out for a fling. And kind of understandable coming from someone who caught his girlfriend cheating on him in their shared bed.

—Also... If those girls don't know where I live, they can't bother me here.

I joke, the environment was getting way too serious for my liking.

—Fuck off —she rolls her eyes—. Wait, that's why you took me to the studio?

Bingo!

—You're an asshole.

—Thing is... Usually, when they see I'm a tattoo artist, they...

—I don't care! —she stops me.

The first time I brought someone to the studio, it was accidental. I genuinely forgot the keys to my house there, and the way the girl reacted to me being a tattoo artist opened a door for me -that I never thought of skipping since that day.

I invite her to sit on the table, before I come back to her with both of our plates. Y/n presses her lips tight as she tries to hold back a laugh, and I can't blame her. The destroyed omelet has fought to get out of the pan completely, but I'm awful at that.

—It's a reconstruction of the typical french omelet —I say.

And I know a dumb comment was the only thing she needed to break into a laugh.

We cackle for a few seconds, until our hunger makes us stop to eat the food we have in front of us. I taste mine, and despite the looks of it, I think it's tasty. And I also see her getting a taste of her food, making a low "Hmm" when she chews on it.

—So? What do you think?

—It's good —she nods—. I could've grabbed something to eat on my way home. Or maybe I could've cooked something here. You didn't have to do it. You let me spend the night here, you cooked for me...

The fact that I don't know her that much, but I knew she'd come up with that... All of this is the least I could do for her, to be honest.

—Well, let's say, by what you've told me, you went through a lot last night —I show her a funny smile—. I think you've had enough for the past hours.

I see her jaw teasing at that comment.

—Throwing up on the dude that was trying to take you home. That's a new level of fucking it up.

—In my defense, it seemed like I did him a favor by giving him an excuse to leave —she mentions—. He liked Melanie and Tammy, but his friends were faster and he ended up with the six of the group of friends.

Thank god I didn't see him around her, because what the fuck is that attitude over someone that's paying attention to you? Especially the attention that comes from her?

—A six? You're a six? —I look at her surprised by that last comment— Did that asshole say that?

—Nope. That was mine —she sips on her water.

—You're not a six —I tilt my head—. You're a worthy nine.

—If you tried to comfort me, you could've said I was a ten.

—You're a ten —I assure her.

For me, she actually is an eleven though.

—But your low self-esteem, and the attitude you have when you go places, makes you a nine —I shrug—. That asshole should've been thankful you stayed long enough to listen to his bullshit.

She clears her throat, before I hear her speaking again.

—Why didn't you take me home? You know where I live.

—I felt better having you around, considering the state you were in —I lie—. Then I gave you some clothes, and you decided to only put on the t-shirt —I continue to explain—. I gave you the bed, and I slept on the couch.

After we eat, and she gets away with cleaning the table and doing the dishes after arguing with me on why she shouldn't need to do it, I see her picking her things up after getting changed.

—Give me a minute. I'll put some shoes on and drive you home.

—It's alright —she stops me—. I'll get on a bus. Don't worry.

I know she thinks I feel bothered by driving her home, but I genuinely want to do it. I don't want to insist too much either, I know that'd bother her as well, so I just let her get away with what she wants to do.

—Send me a text when you get home —I ask her.

—Yup —she nods, smiling wide at me before she leaves.

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #tattooau #jungkook pov #Under His Skin #armpirate

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willinglyghoulified · 1 year

Note

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the Last 10 people Who reblogged something from you. Learn about your mutuals and followers. 🎠 But only if you want to, just have fun! 💖💖

Awe thank you!~ I love this sm! Answers are gonna get long-winded though T_T

5 Things That Make Me Happy:

Positive Feedback - has to be on the top of my list because this absolutely does breathe life into me. I started writing in the first place to make people happy. I do it because I love it and I want to share that love with others. I want to be the writer that makes people look forward to getting off work to read that new chapter or the reason they stayed up a little too late because they just had to know what happened next. I want my stories to be someone else's escape. And maybe one day, I'll be on their bookshelves, too. ♥

Genuine Friendships - they're so important to me. I'm someone who has very few friends and even fewer family, so if you're close to me, it means something. I'm all about chosen family, and it often reflects in my writing (one of my fav main characters has a tendency to adopt lonely misfits). With my friends, we're either just acquaintances or you're my goddamn sibling, there's really no in between, which is both a good and a bad quality trait.

Fucking Fallout - because it's the most immersive game I've ever played. I know a lot of the games get some hate throughout the fandom, but I genuinely love every installment that they come up with, because it continues the story. Even with all its flaws, I love all of 1, 2, 3, 4, NV, and 76. I'm more partial to 4 because I relate more to their characters, but NV had the superior storyline. ♥ I literally cannot get this game or these characters out of my head.

BTS - Okay hear me out on this one: I know BTS is a stereotypical K-Pop band, but I seriously love them as people. I don't like K-Pop normally, as a genre. I listened to "emo music" growing up (I was born in 1993 so the 2000s was where my favorite music really lied). I was also a troubled kid and I brought a lot of those insecurities and trauma to my adulthood, and my old bands just wasn't doing it anymore. The memories of teen angst mostly stressed me out. But then I found BTS, and their music and messages helped me SO MUCH as a young adult, well into later adulthood (I'm 29 now). I absolutely love them, and they make me happy with their genuine care and messages. Those 7 boys are some of my biggest inspirations in life, reminding me that I can do anything if I try hard enough. But you will NEVER catch me mixing my love for BTS with the Fallout stuff on this blog. I've noticed that liking K-Pop is a quick way to catch hate, so I keep my obsession with them to myself. I'm okay with that; I've done it for the last six years.

My Husband - as cheesy as it is to say, I have the best husband I could have asked for. STORY TIME: I met him in Kindergarten, and he was always getting me in trouble by making me laugh and the teacher kept telling us to be quiet. She had to separate us. I had a crush on him in 2nd grade. Then we didn't see each other again until middle school. We had gym class together in 6th grade. In 8th grade, we became best friends. He dated a friend of ours in 9th, and I thought that would help me get rid of the feelings I had for him because I was terrified I'd ruin our friendship if I made a move. It didn't work out between him and our friend, but he told me in 10th grade that he liked me a lot, and we really understood each other. (Honestly it "helped" that we both came from troubled/broken families and were both below poverty level.) When we got together, we were each other's first EVERYTHING. We were together all throughout high school with no complications, and our peers deemed us worthy of being prom king and queen in 12th grade even though we were the nerds who oftentimes got bullied. It was so surreal. We moved in together after high school. We went through a loooooot of bullshit. Being kicked out of houses, losing jobs, losing family members (deaths and otherwise) and we're pretty much inseparable now. We've been together for 14 years. He's supportive in everything I do, even if he doesn't always understand my obsessions. He believes in me. He knows I'm not going to thank him for doing the bare minimum (respecting me, listening to me, helping me, not expecting me to mother him, etc). He genuinely fucking loves me. And he's pretty damn handsome and funny, too. Icing on the cake. And after losing all the people that we have over the years, we're pretty much all that we've got left. But I wouldn't choose to live this life with anyone else.

#ask #ask games #5 things that make you happy #thank you for asking #this was a lovely start to my day #apologies for rambling #i just felt like simple answers didn't do the subject justice

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messybrained · 6 months

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I very rarely make posts because 1) I'm terrified of people and 2) I'm just a wee bit private, I don't have too much to say. I think I just needed to speak this out into the void, be a bit vulnerable and imagine connecting with other weirdos like me.

I have undiagnosed, and unmedicated adult ADHD. Honestly, it's one of my favourite things about myself - I'm eager, I'm funny, I find everyday things really exciting. I'm quick to strike up a conversation with people, I love hearing about what they do because I can find interest in just about everything. I love the experience of living with such a messy brain (lol, there's a point to the username).

But somedays, like today, I'm experiencing the suckier side. The side that rears it's head when you've somehow wormed your way in to a very high-pressure, very repetitive and boring, very *neurotypical* job. I'm not sure how I got here, but man, a pay above minimum wage was mint enough for me to try. So by some stroke of fate and perhaps lapse of my employers judgement, I'm in a job that pays bloody well but my God it hurts my brain so badly. I could cope, I think, if it weren't for the social agony this has caused.

My boss is quick to criticise my work, and because I'm in such a high performing team, work that I am busting my ass to make adequate isn't good enough. She's told me "you're doing a good job, we just need to make you great!". I get the job done, but it might be a day later. There might be a small mistake every once in a while. I might have to ask questions about something you've told me before. It's led to me being put on an HR mandated performance improvement plan. I think I would be doing better if I wasn't under constant surveillance, as part of this means that my boss has asked to be bcc'd into all my emails to keep track of my work.

I did warn people about the issues I have when I was hired 10 months ago, so they were aware. I've tried to be as open in my communications as possible to everyone and say "hey, real sorry for this, here's what I'll do next time to make it better".

And yet, people have started ostracising me in those little ways they do when they're wanting to push you out. They've become really annoyed with me and started doing small things, like telling you last minute that the meeting has changed rooms. Speaking to me differently as if I wasn't able to comprehend basic instructions. But it's grown to leaving the office at the end of the day, turning the lights off, and not saying goodbye while I'm still there, now a little confused and a bit lonely sitting in a dark room. They make jokes out loud in an open plan office and subtly ignoring my contributions. It's not outright to anyone else looking in, but given that I don't do those things to people, even if I dislike them, I find it hard not to take offence.

It feels like primary school all over again. High school was a little different, I was able to be more me. But this is soul sucking. I woke up this morning about to cry because I didn't want to go in, and had a vivid memory of 7 year old messybrain breaking down in tears, screaming and kicking and refusing to go to school. The echoes of that so neatly fit into the wavelengths of what I was feeling this morning.

This is only my second fulltime job, I'm very new on the scene. But my first was not at all like this. I maybe would have stayed longer if the pay were as good as this one. I had a community and it made all the difference. Once a job was done, it was done until a year's time when it came around again.

I guess I'm just feeling sad and rejected. This is not the place for me and I need to find a kinder tide. There is hope. There really is, if I've found community once I can do it again. I refuse to let this dim my spark.

But for now, I'm a little melancholy, a little broke due to debt, and a little tired and in need of a soft place to curl into. And a few moments scrolling on this cursed website to remind me that there are other wonderful weirdos out there like me.

I hope everyone who reads this knows that you are already worthy of love and belonging just as you are. You don't have to hustle for it. And it's okay if we want to curl into a soft place for a bit and feel sad and down. I'm right there with you. There are other people like us out there. There's space for us in this beautiful world. You matter and I'm glad you're here.

#adhd #undiagnosed neurodivergent

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darsynia · 1 year

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I'm going to give you some choices here. The first from the MCU:

Clint Francis Barton

Clint Barton would give you his opinion, maybe even when you weren't ready to hear it, but he would also always have your back. He'd be there for your highs and your lows, and especially in your lows, he'd help hold you up until you could stand on your own again, and he wouldn't judge you (except maybe a little). He'd also be there for your kids without question, and he'd be a great (usually) role model. But he's not just a staid, boring kinda family guy. He also has a wild side that keeps you on your toes and reminds you to have fun and that life isn't just about responsibilities.

Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders)

Okay, so Tommy Shelby kills a lot of people, but ultimately, he's a pretty good guy. Family, to him, is everything, even when they're pissing him off. He still would die or kill for them - or if nothing else, he'll get into politics for them to make things better as best he can. He'll even try to take down the whole of the Nazi party, and how can someone killing Nazis be a bad partner? TOTALLY THE BEST PARTNER. Also he's for the little guy, the underdog, the working man (and women); he respects sex workers as his equals.

Polly Gray (Peaky Blinders)

Badass lady with a heart of gold and an attitude of steel. No nonsense, family is everything, supports women's rights with an iron fist. Puts up with no bullshit, especially not from men. I mean, just look at her. Excuse me, but I'll be in my bunk.

Well first of all I am OVER THE MOON with this omg. Thank you! I should have done pics this is so professional I am in awe!

I would DELIGHT in Clint, 100%. I agree, he's a fabulous combination of a heart made of solid gold and the kind of man who would reach into his own chest and throw that heart around, if need be. What a thrilling, sexy life with a baseline of family and encouragement! I'm all for the Brady Bunch life I'd live with Clint, for real. Our oldest girls can bond over how stressful it is to keep everyone in line, even their parents.

I have not watched Peaky Blinders but I am INTRIGUED. There is definitely a dangerous, can-count-on-me vibe that Tommy is giving me from being a fandom in-law. No quarter for those who don't deserve, passionate intensity for those who do, the morals where it counts, the exceptions when needed. I'm on board!

WELL HELLO MA'AM.

God, she looks like the kind of badass you hope is on your side! Chaos ladies in red lipstick and wry disdain, I'll uh, just be over here fanning myself and mispelling things in my distraction! Genuinely love this trip down partner lane, thanks so much dear!!

#turning on the ac so i can cool off omg #darsy twirls her asks #thanks for all these delicious visuals gosh

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