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piecksz · 3 years

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three’s a crowd | (m)

pairing: reiner x fem!reader x eren

warnings: nsfw, oral sex (female recieving), cuckolding, male masturbation, penetrative sex, voyeurism, slight degredation, slight angst, light mention of drugs, explicit language

summary: reiner’s attempt at hiding his attraction towards you fails, but lucky for him, eren’s feeling generous.

words: 4.6k

a/n: this was so much longer than i planned for.....well.....shit LMAOOO

a/n x2: I FORGOT TO ADD if you guys wanna listen to the song i looped like 47 fucking times while writing this, bc i feel like it fits reiner in this one shot kinda well, u can listen to recognize by partynextdoor (feat. drake) :p enjoy

Reiner hated Eren.

He hadn’t gone into living with someone he’d never met in person before with innumerable expectations, but he wasn’t banking on his roommate to be his polar opposite. He hated the sound of Eren’s riotous music into the early hours of dawn. He hated the unbearable malodor of his marijuana dependence, and he hated the way he carried himself with an intolerable air of arrogance, but as much as Eren’s living habits irritated him, it was the fact that Eren had you that presided over all of his grievances.

Being a witness to it made Reiner sick, knowing that you were leagues above Eren, and surely you deserved someone respectable, but somehow he’d charmed you into a long-term relationship, and Reiner wondered how he’d managed it. If by some miracle it had been up to him, Reiner speculated that he would be a viable match for you--that was if he had those sentiments for you--and he reassured himself he didn’t hold any promiscuous feelings towards his roommate’s girlfriend.

Yet it was hard for Reiner to rationalize the obscene thoughts that pervaded his mind at 2 AM. His clock displayed the time in bold red numbers, an indication that he should have been fast asleep, but you had decided to spend the night, and he already understood what that entailed.

The walls in their apartment were thin and did an insubstantial job of muting the noise that traveled between rooms. Reiner boasted the privilege of having his room right next to Eren’s, which meant he could hear everything that happened on the other side of the barrier. He heard every whimper, every groan, every time Eren praised you for taking him so well, and every time he admired how irresistible you looked while he fucked you from the back. The sound was so lucid he could count exactly how many rounds you guys had gone, and it was usually two, three if Eren hadn’t seen you in a while which was rare.

You two were hard to ignore, no matter how hard Reiner had tried, meaning he was also up late, listening while you two coupled. Your cries of stimulation, however, he didn’t mind as much. In truth, Reiner was always tempted to slip his hands into his pants and get himself off to the sound of your enticing whimpers, but he would discourage himself, deciding it was against his better judgement. Instead he would opt to cover his ears with his pillow, flipping over onto his side and dedicating his total effort to falling asleep.

Of course, Reiner had long established that he didn’t like you, but he swore he could make you feel better than Eren could.

It was around midday when Reiner returned to their apartment after committing his morning to helping his long-time friend, Pieck, pack up the furniture at her studio in preparation to move. They were halfway finished with stowing away Pieck’s belongings before she realized they didn’t have enough boxes and apologized, asking Reiner if he’d be willing to return the following day to help her load up her remaining things. He obliged, guiltily happy that he was being dismissed early.

Reiner kicked off his shoes and ambled into the kitchen to set down the food he secured on his way home, but he paused momentarily to scrutinize the condition of the living room, discerning Eren’s obvious trace.

The TV was on, but it sat idly, blinking images of some prime time movie Reiner couldn’t recognize, and Eren’s drug paraphernalia was left scattered on the coffee table, his bong alongside his stray lighter and grinder.

“Eren!” Reiner had prompted him on several occasions, reminding Eren that just because he thought electricity was a necessary utility and should be free, didn’t mean it was, they still had to pay for it. He also requested that he put his bong away after he was done smoking since it wasn’t permitted in their building, but Eren seemed heedless to that demand too. “Eren!”

Reiner anticipated a response, but huffed when he received only silence. Leave it to his roommate to blight his good mood in record time. He mumbled inaudibly, swiping the remote off the table to turn the TV off, and then reluctantly bending down to tidy the space of Eren’s things.

“Hi, Sunshine. You’re up and about early.”

Reiner straightened himself out and turned around, unaware that you’d been over. He missed your approaching footsteps. Had you stayed the night? He didn’t hear anything from Eren’s room the previous evening which was unusual to say the least. Maybe you’d stopped by earlier that morning while he’d been out.

“Hey,” he replied meekly. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were here.”

Reiner’s eyes looked you over swiftly, slightly startled at the lack of clothing covering your bottom half. You were only wearing a loose shirt that stopped dangerously at your hips and a pair of lace undergarments, but naturally, you didn’t seem the least bit phased. You’d practically lived with them. When you weren’t in class or at your part-time job, you were at their apartment, leading Reiner to wonder if you forgot you had a place of your own.

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “Sorry Eren left all of his shit out. I don’t know how I know the house rules and he doesn’t.”

Reiner snorted. “He knows them, he just doesn’t care.” His voice was casual although he walked hastily into the kitchen to avoid looking at you. He stored Eren’s bong in the vacant cupboard above the microwave before throwing his other tools into a miscellaneous drawer.

As if on cue, Eren wandered out of his room languidly, carelessly shrugging a jacket onto his unclad upper body. Reiner took that as a sign that his lunch would be best enjoyed in his room. He was already irked, and wasn’t in the headspace to deal with the current atmosphere.

“What’d you get?” you questioned, leaning over the counter with mirth. You paid little attention to the way Eren came up behind you, circling his arms around your waist and resting his chin in the curve of your shoulder. You looked more interested in the alluring smells wafting from the paper bag in Reiner’s hand.

Another thing he hated about Eren was his shameless PDA. It appeared he adored showing you off, letting everyone know that you were his, but God--how could anyone forget when it seemed he was incapable of keeping his hands off of you. Reiner himself recognized that you were a prize, from your lively eyes that were a marriage of subtle hues to the way your lips curled upwards when you grinned. He even noticed the curve of your breasts’ shape through your shirt. If Reiner had you, he’d want you all to himself.

He shook the thought out of his head.

“I just got something small on the way home.” He forced a smile. “If I’d known you were over I would have gotten you something too.”

“Why do you treat Y/N better than you treat me?” Eren asked, sounding only a little bit offended.

Reiner pretended to think before he responded. “Ah, maybe it’s because I don’t like you.”

You laughed at Reiner’s reply, and Eren only smiled, but Reiner detected something else behind his expression. Mischief.

“Do you like Y/N?”

Reiner creased his eyebrows together. “Of course.” He hadn’t read too much into the question. He did like you. You weren’t just easy on the eyes, but you were great company too. That was the only reason he didn’t mind lending their apartment to you as a second home, he enjoyed being around you.

You let out an exaggerated aww after he answered. “I like you too, Reiner.”

Reiner chuckled, shaking his head, but inside he was telling his heart to calm down. You didn’t mean it like that.

Eren hummed absentmindedly, swaying side to side slowly while you rocked along to his movement.

“Do you wanna fuck her?”

Reiner gripped the bag in his hand tightly, and his smile faltered in shock, reeling from the bombshell of Eren’s question. “What?” Did he hear him correctly?

You looked just as surprised, exclaiming your boyfriend’s name and craning your neck to look at him.

“I’m kidding,” he dismissed, but Reiner could tell he wasn’t from the way Eren’s eyes didn’t waver from him.

What Reiner didn’t know was that Eren had caught onto him. He’d known for a while, which was why he was particularly touchy with you around Reiner, showing you off, not caring whether you walked around their apartment scarcely dressed, it was because Eren enjoyed having something that someone else wanted. He saw the way his roommate acted around his girlfriend, reserved and quiet, more than he usually was, and he even noticed the way Reiner’s eyes dipped down to your chest in the moment because Eren was exceptional at paying attention to detail.

You must have detected how uncomfortable Reiner felt because you delivered a brief jab to Eren’s ribs with your elbow.

“Eren, that’s not fucking funny,” you chided. “Do I need to put you in time out?”

“It’s fine,” Reiner interrupted quickly. He didn’t want you defending him because you were oblivious. It only made the situation more embarrassing than it already was since, truthfully, the thought had crossed his mind more than once.

Eren reiterated his question, eyes narrowed at Reiner. “So do you?”

You sighed heavily and looked at Reiner apologetically. He could feel his face growing hot, and he prayed it wasn’t obvious he was as flushed as he felt. He just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

Reiner released a humourless chuckle. “Grow up, Eren.” He slipped past the two of you, but he didn’t get far.

“I’m only asking because I’m feeling charitable. You wouldn’t mind, would you baby?”

Reiner could hear Eren pressing a series of ticklish kisses against your skin, causing you to laugh through your answer.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind if Reiner doesn’t mind.”

Reiner brought his teeth down hard on the tip of his tongue. He was surprised that Eren was so secure in his relationship that he would willingly allow another man to have his way with his girlfriend. He wasn’t sure if his suggestion was insane or ingenious, because Eren had taken control of the one thing that threatened any relationship: infidelity, something so unvirtuous wouldn’t stop him from loving you. You and Eren were so committed to each other that a simple fuck meant nothing.

Reiner hesitated, but figured an opportunity like this was rare. He had both Eren’s permission and yours, yet he still didn’t believe his sincerity until you were in Eren’s room, starting to strip out of your clothes.

His chestnut eyes drifted over to Eren, slouched lazily in the chair he casually pulled out from his desk. “You’re gonna watch?”

Eren lifted a thick eyebrow, resting his thumb under his chin with an index finger against his cheek, looking unimpressed by Reiner’s obvious reservations. “You think I’d let you fuck my girlfriend without me here?”

Reiner slid a tense hand over the back of his neck, rubbing away the uncomfortable heat that creeped up his back and diffused to the tips of his ears. He figured that was reasonable considering the circumstances, after all, he was only fucking you because Eren had allowed it.

There was nothing more intoxicating to Reiner than your bare form, scanty pink lace clinging to your hips the only thing preventing you from being completely naked in front of him. His gaze dipped from your simpering smile down to your collarbones and then down to your breasts, perfectly sculpted to your figure.

Reiner made no efforts to move despite his insatiable urge to grab you in his arms and make certain that you were left satisfied. He feared he’d look too eager to Eren who was observing from the sidelines, but you paid little attention to your audience of one as you sauntered towards Reiner, closer and closer, until your arms slid around his neck and you pressed your chest to his torso.

Reiner’s body was strung so tightly, he was afraid he might snap. It seemed you took notice of the way his muscles tensed once your delicate fingers ghosted over the nape of his neck because your suggestive expression waned, and instead, your eyebrows creased with sincere concern.

“You okay?”

He couldn’t respond, but to be fair, it was because his heart was hammering against his chest and he wasn’t sure how to make it stop. He looked over at Eren again, who, fortunately, didn’t seem to pay much attention to him. Instead, your boyfriend’s stare was fixed on your backside, likely admiring how luscious you looked from his perspective.

“I’m over here.” You laughed and pressed a gentle finger to Reiner’s chin, redirecting his focus back to you. “Just relax.”

He swallowed, chuckling to soothe his unease. “I’m trying.”

Reiner wasn’t sure why he felt so unassertive in your presence. He didn’t hold a record like Eren did, but he also wasn't abstinent by any means. This, though, felt different. He was dealing with several months of pent-up sexual frustration that could only be satisfied by you and no one else. He knew because he’d tried.

Reiner drew in a ragged breath as you leaned into him, breathing heavily through his mouth until you closed the space in between you two, then he continued breathing heavily through his nose. At first, he made no efforts to close his eyes, afraid that the imagery in front of him was a mirage inspired by his own imagination and would disappear if he so much as blinked. His lips were timid, body taut under your touch, but you seduced his mouth, reining him in until he melted into the kiss.

He pushed back against you with fervor and desperation, outlining the shape of your bottom lip with his tongue before nipping at the soft flesh. You released a quiet whimper, intensifying the lust swelling in the pit of his stomach, and Reiner forced his tongue past your teeth, claiming your mouth while his wandering hands settled audaciously against your ass.

Your hands slid over his shoulders and crafted biceps until they tugged hastily against the hem of his shirt, and Reiner immediately understood your cue, withdrawing his mouth from yours to give himself just enough time to slip out of it. He dipped down again to deliver another kiss, but he was deterred by the feeling of your palm against his chest.

“What? Is something wrong?” he questioned quickly, eyes darting back and forth between your hand and your face, worried that he’d done something to overstep your boundaries.

Instead of the troubled expression he expected, you looked rather intrigued. Perhaps impressed was the better word. Your curiosity was held by Reiner’s physique, a living work of art. Eager fingers traveled down the built ripples of his abdomen, chuckling once you felt his muscles flex under your touch.

“Jesus Christ,” you breathed. “Nice, Braun.”

A snicker emitted from the corner. This, miraculously, Eren allowed.

Reiner's mouth quirked upward in a subtle smile before he surrounded you with his arm, pulling you in for another kiss. He walked you backwards until you collapsed onto the mattress, and he fell on top of you, strong forearms holding up his weight. It was then that Reiner realized he allowed his lust to win in the war against himself.

He pulled away to recover his breath, winded pants fanning over your face. His surveying eyes searched yours before they lowered to your swollen lips. God, you were even more mesmerizing up close, heavy-lidded and studying him through a curtain of eyelashes. Maybe for once Reiner would admit he was jealous of Eren. He was fucking envious, bitter, and spiteful that you were his. He’d been a goddamn idiot to let things go this far, agreeing to Eren’s offer, because he knew one fuck wouldn’t be enough to fufill his need for you. He’d barely gotten a taste, and he could already promise that nothing would ever compare to this.

He found your throat and pressed a fleeting kiss to your pulse, moving further down until his lips met your collarbone. He nipped at the delicate skin, taking notice of the way your grip in his hair tightened. His eyebrows arched while he peered up at you, delighting in the way your head rolled back and forth against the duvet. He really wanted to suck at your skin, leaving dark bruises that decorated the path from your earlobe down to your breastbone, but he knew Eren would kill him.

Reiner dipped lower until his lips brushed lightly against your beaded nipple. You made a small sound of protest, but held his head closer, letting him know what you really wanted. His heart beat erratically against his ribcage as he curved a large hand around your right breast and suppressed a groan, but you released a breathy whimper.

He could feel the sound wreaking havoc in his brain. His balls were so damn tight, it would take barely any effort for him to cum, but he wanted to prolong your coupling as long as possible. He didn’t know if he’d ever get another chance like this.

His thumb ran over the erect peaks of your breasts, captivated by the magic of watching your back arch and your body become aroused under his touch. He dipped a finger into his mouth, glazing it with his saliva before using it to flick back and forth at your nipple.

“Fuck, Reiner,” you mewled.

Reiner replaced his hand with his lips, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth. The tip of his tongue swirled around it, coating it generously with his spit, while you made no attempts to conceal your intense cries of pleasure.

Eren released an entertained sigh, swiveling back and forth in his chair. “She whines like a bitch, doesn’t she?”

Shit. Reiner had almost forgotten he was there, but he still released a hungry grunt in agreement, sending vibrations over your chest. He tugged at your nipple with his teeth, releasing it, and then soothing the sting with the flat side of his tongue.

He trailed down your abdomen, pressing hard wet kisses and stopping to leave a quick lick to your navel. He grinned against your skin when you gripped the sheets and breathed his name again, this time quieter, as if you meant it only for his ears. He liked to think so.

Once he reached the waistband of your panties, he licked along the fabric, immobilizing your rolling hips with strong hands.

“Enough with the theatrics, Reiner. Just do it already,” Eren groaned, sounding irate.

Reiner assumed Eren’s groan was only to stress his impatience, but once he looked over to him, he realized he wasn’t just giving directives from the sidelines. His bottom lip was tucked between his teeth, and his hand was moving steadily against the noticeable tent in his sweatpants.

He was enjoying this just as much as Reiner was, getting off to the sight of his girlfriend under another man, his roommate nonetheless.

Reiner suddenly felt strange. What the hell was he doing providing entertainment for Eren?

“Reiner,” your needy voice pulled him out of his reflection. His attention drifted back to you, watching while you propped yourself up on your elbows and slid your unsteady hands over your chest to tweak your own nipples, as if you were trying to hold yourself over.

He wished you hadn’t looked so tempting, even with your disheveled hair and sweaty skin, your vulnerable eyes fixated on him, and he was powerless.

Reiner hooked his fingers around your underwear, kissing a trail down the inside of your thighs as he pulled your panties down to your ankles before slipping them off and letting them pool on the floor.

“Spread wide baby, let him see that pretty pussy,” Eren stirred, cock now thrust out the top of his grey sweats and his swollen tip glistening with precum. His hand was wrapped firmly around his stiff length, moving slow while his breathing quickened.

For once, Reiner agreed with him, and he pressed his fingers into your thighs to aid you in parting your legs. Your pussy was slick with your own arousal, squelching as you tightened around nothing. You were even prettier than he’d imagined.

“Fuck,” Reiner breathed, extending two fingers to part your folds. Was he still sure he wasn’t dreaming?

He wrapped his built arms around your legs, pulled you closer, and lowered his head. He fixed his lips to your swollen clit, allowing his tongue to lap and circle around the tender bud every few seconds.

“Oh my god,” you cried, writhing against the sheets.

If he hadn’t secured your legs in his grip, he was certain you would have smothered him between your thighs out of reflex. He could detect the way you fought against his hold, but he far overpowered you in strength.

When he plunged his tongue inside you without notice, that was nearly enough to send you over the edge. You pulled on the sheets with a frenzied grip, producing a shrill cry your neighbors had certainly heard. There was no doubt about it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you murmured, chest expanding and falling with labored breaths.

Reiner wanted to spend a few more generous minutes tasting you, he couldn’t get enough, but he also wasn’t sure how much longer he would last. His cock was hot and hard in his pants, and he needed to feel you around him. Even if Eren wouldn’t let him cum inside of you, he needed to experience at least that much.

He rose to his feet, working quickly against his pants’ zipper while trying not to tease himself by looking at you. He was worried the mere sight of you on the bed, spread and ready for him would be enough to bring him to a climax, but he’d made the mistake of looking at you anyways, hand between your legs, delicate fingers rubbing at your clit while you stared up at him.

Fucking hell. Kill me. Reiner thought. Fuck. He felt the throbbing heat of his cock, and he wished you wouldn’t look at him like that. He really wished you wouldn’t look at him like that.

“Look at her, so desperate to be filled. It’s almost pathetic,” Eren laughed, but it was clear he was feeling your effect too. He lolled his head forward, long brown hair spilling over his shoulders and obscuring his face while his palm worked fast against his cock.

Shut up, Reiner thought. His head was growing hazy, and he couldn’t think. He needed to be inside you, and he couldn’t wait a second longer.

Reiner let himself free while his pants and underwear hung low around his knees. He couldn’t even find time to delight in the way your face melted into bliss once you laid eyes on his thick cock, leaking precum in sinful amounts because all he could think about was his ache. He leaned over you, positioning himself at your entrance.

He’d been waiting for this for so goddamn long.

Reiner exhaled when you said his name again, hips undulating against his cock and wet folds stroking his tip. He watched as he pushed himself into you, filling you to the hilt, and once he was inside he hung his head forward, eyes shut tightly in a painful sort of ecstasy.

“You’re so fucking tight,” Reiner grunted breathlessly.

He groaned, pinning your hips down with his once you attempted to fuck yourself onto his cock.

“Stop moving,” he pleaded. “Jesus christ--please don’t move.” He stayed still for a moment, waiting until his sensitivity subsided before he started rocking his hips against you slowly.

Reiner couldn’t dedicate his focus to anything other than the feeling of your slick walls clenching around his cock every time he pulled out, and the way he stretched you out every time he thrusted back in. He wondered if you could feel the depth of his desire.

“Harder,” you whispered once, and then begged louder. “Reiner please, fuck me harder.”

At first, Reiner was worried. He wanted to be gentle, he wanted to savor you, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t hurt you, but your request had him picking up the pace, ramming into you until the familiar slapping sound of sweaty skin filled the room.

You unraveled and became completely undone, letting out loud moans every time he drove his cock into you. Reiner thought the sound was incredibly euphonic as it fell upon his ears. You were like this because of him.

“How’s this?” His voice was husky and deep beside your ear.

Reiner was pleased by your lack of response. You could only nod, overwhelmed by the dual sensation brought on by him and the feeling of your quick fingers against your clit. You secured an arm around his neck again and wrapped your legs around his torso, clinging to him like he was all you needed. He wished that was how you really felt.

“Close…,” you murmured, and Reiner deduced you were warning him that you were near your orgasm. He could tell by the way your walls began to spasm.

Reiner felt the small of his back tighten, and he knew he was close too. He was torn between his release and holding himself back, not ready for this to end just yet, but his body betrayed him and he felt his cock twitch inside you.

Luckily, you reached your climax first, and Reiner watched in awe as your body seized underneath him, breasts bobbing with every jolt while you worked your clit into overstimulation. It wasn’t long after your orgasm that he made his last rueful thrusts. He quickly pulled out and clasped himself in the curve of his hand. He pumped his length until he released in quick spurts onto your stomach, covering you in his hot seed, and he kept pumping until he made sure he emptied himself of every drop.

His eyes quickly darted over to Eren, not to be odd or anything, but again, he had forgotten he was there. It seemed Eren had already satisfied himself. The creamy, white liquid decorating the bare skin of his abdomen and dribbling down his loose fist was evidence of that. Now that he had appeased his urges, he seemed disinterested as he reached over his desk and plucked a few tissues to clean himself up.

Reiner collapsed beside you, listening to the loud thudding of his heart as it delivered a few ecstatic beats while he caught his breath and began to calm down. He stared at the pivoting fan blades, and then his eyes dropped down to you lying next to him, sweaty and fucked out.

You were laying there with him, and goddammit he wanted to reach his arms out and wrap them around you, pulling you close so he could hold you and feel your heartbeat against his chest. He’d press kisses to your salty forehead, and then tell you how much he loved you. He wanted to stay like this.

Reiner's ideal vision dissolved once Eren stopped at the edge of the bed and extended his hand for you to grab.

“You wanna join me for a shower, baby?” Eren asked.

Of course, you took it, allowing him to support you until you were sitting up.

You released an exhausted laugh. “Yes, please.” You then turned to Reiner and arched your eyebrow in surprise. “By the way, not bad, Braun.”

Reiner gave you a small smile in return, but said nothing as he watched you cover your breasts with your arm and let Eren hoist you off the bed. You two slid past him and headed out of the room, but not without Eren looking back over his shoulder, shooting Reiner a shit-eating grin, as though reminding him who you’d always belong to.

3K notes · View notes

mysticm3ss · 4 years

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Could u pls write headcanons/a fanfic about RFA+(V & Saeran if u want to) getting MC pregnant but MC tries to hide her pregnancy (for any reason) and around 3 months later when her stomach starts to grow RFA find her pregnancy test hidden away somewhere and confront her about it. I know u already wrote a headcanon about their kids but I just love any sort of headcanon/fanfic about baby’s and pregnancy’s yknow. Btw I love your requests broski. Your a good writer. Sorry if my English not good lol

sure thing, thank you for requesting and thank you for the compliments! don’t worry your english is perfect!

so i wrote this literally months ago and forgot it was in my drafts, i’m sorry it’s taken so long to get up!! i rly enjoyed proofreading this bc i’m studying developmental psyc at uni right now and it’s lowkey giving me mad baby fever lmao

(leaving out jaehee for this one bc she ain’t out here getting anyone pregnant, like even if she had a penis she’d be too responsible for that to happen unless it was planned anyway let’s b real. also i varied the way the boys found out a bit as well just so things don’t get too repetitive, hope that’s okay!)

Yoosung:

The thing you have to know about Yoosung is that he is very small and has no money, so you can only imagine the stress he’s under~

Jokes aside, when you realise you’re pregnant, your first reaction is panic.

You and your boyfriend are both so young–you’re not even old enough to have graduated college yet, how are you going to take care of a child?

It takes you a solid month or two just to come to terms with the pregnancy yourself.

When you finally think you’re feeling brave enough to bring it up to him, the thought of what his family might think acts as another hindrance–he seemed to have a perfect family, and Yoosung himself had admitted they were somewhat conservative… how would they react to your situation?

While you’re busy still coming to terms with it, however, Yoosung accidentally stumbles upon the pregnancy test you had so cleverly hidden in the bathroom cabinet.

You’d slipped it into a box of toiletries, snugly hidden between the myriad of tampons and pads that it held. When Yoosung accidentally knocked it from the cabinet, he scrambled to tidy up, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tucked away the sanitary products.

He froze when he saw the test, mind whirring as he struggled to explain away the white stick in his hand.

There was no explaining away those two pink lines, however, and so that night, he dared to broach the subject with you.

He fiddled nervously with his hands as he sat on your shared bed, eyes looking everywhere except your face when you entered the room.

“Yoosung… is everything okay?”

A shaky breath. “MC… are you… you’d tell me if something big happened, right? Like… like if you got pregnant or something?”

The guilt-ridden look on your face was all the answer he needed.

Your eyes welled up, and Yoosung’s arms were instantly around you, pulling you against him as he squeezed you tight despite his own shock.

“MC, why wouldn’t you tell me? How long?” His words were soft; gentle whispers into your ear as his fingers combed through your hair.

When you explained your worries, Yoosung’s heart instantly melted, and he felt guilty that he’d never realised what you’d been going through the past few months.

“Don’t worry about my family, MC– don’t worry about anything at all. I love you, and I love this baby, and we’re going to be so happy, okay? I’m right here, cutie, I’m right here…”

And though your face was buried in his shirt, Yoosung could still feel your smile.

Zen:

We all know that Zen is super-focussed on his career, and in turn, works long hours with early starts and late finishes.

His busy schedule and blooming career is the first thing to cross your mind as you stare at the two glaring pink lines on your pregnancy test.

How were you going to tell him? How would he react? His career was just beginning to take off… what if he didn’t want children so soon?

How were you supposed to deal with that..?

And so, spiralling into uncertainty, you decide to put off telling him for as long as possible; to enjoy your relationship for what it was now, in case it all fell apart.

As a result of Zen’s schedule, it’s not too gruelling to hide your pregnancy from your boyfriend.

You usually wake up to brutal morning sickness hours after he’s already left for work, and your fluctuating hormones generally only make their presence known while you’re on your own.

Regardless, Zen is extremely observant, especially when it comes to his jagiya.

He idly notices that you’ve gained weight, but he’d never bring it up; he honestly doesn’t care, so long as you’re healthy, which you certainly seem to be with how radiant you’ve been the past couple of months.

He does, however, notice that you’re keeping something from him. As to what, he’s not sure.

Zen trusts you wholly and completely, so it doesn’t even cross his mind that you could be hiding anything too big from him (at least, at first).

He figures that maybe you’re just planning a surprise for him, as he’s done a number of times for you in the past few years that the two of you have been dating.

When he comes back early one evening to see that you’re not at home, he sets about making dinner for the two of you and decides to get a head start on the chores.

He knows that he’s slacked off on his household duties lately, and the least he can do is pick up a few now that he has some time at home so that you don’t have to worry about them later.

While your favourite meal is warming on the stove, Zen strips the bed of sheets and gathers your dirty laundry into the hamper.

When he returns with a load of freshly dried clothes, he begins to pack them away. As he folds your underwear and tucks them into the drawer, he notices what seems to be a piece of paper peeking out from beneath the neatly folded fabric.

Confused, he pulls it out, his breath catching as he sees the ultrasound.

He reads your name and the date over and over, unable to even comprehend that you could keep something like this from him.

He’s crushed that you hadn’t told him, and immediately falls into denial.

This has to be a prank, right? MC would never keep something like this from me…

He’s still frozen, sonogram clutched in hand, when you arrive home.

Zen looks up at you, eyes pleading and face soft with vulnerability as he wordlessly begs an explanation.

“…MC?”

His voice is so quiet and broken that it kills you.

You gently explain that it’s real; that this isn’t a tasteless prank but, in fact, reality. Zen takes a deep breath to steel himself.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Don’t you think I’d want to be there, especially for this?” he demands, voice ringing with pain and rising in anger as he holds up the sonogram still crinkled in his fist.

It takes a bit of explaining on your part, but Zen’s hot temper gets the best of him as he shakes his head and turns away from you. Tears prick your eyes.

“Don’t you see, Zen? This is what I was afraid of!” Your voice cracks, and Zen spares a glance back at you, immediately softening as he sees your glistening eyes and the tears beginning to stain your cheeks.

“MC… I love you. I love this baby. I’d never leave, you know that, don’t you, jagi?” His voice is hushed, his heart breaking as he leans in to brush a tear from your face with his thumb.

“You can’t keep things like this from me, princess… not something this big. If you’re worried, talk to me, okay? I’m in this with you. Forever, remember?”

His arms fall around your shoulders as he crushes you to his chest, before pulling away in panic.

“Crap! Was that too tight? Did I hurt the baby?!”

You laugh, and the sound is music to Zen’s ears as you drag him in for another hug.

Jumin:

When you wake up to a sudden wave of nausea, Jumin’s first reaction is concern.

“O-oh, it’s nothing, it must just be something I ate…”

“I see. I must speak with the chef who cooked for us last night, this is a disgusting oversight on his par-”

No Jumin don’t fire the chef ohmygod

You barely manage to calm Jumin down before you’re huddled over the toilet once more, and he lets all remaining traces of fury evaporate as he focusses on holding back your hair and rubbing your back soothingly.

All the while, your mind can’t help but dart back to the pregnancy test that you’d hidden at the bottom of the wastebasket.

You knew you couldn’t keep this a secret from your husband forever; and in your head, you knew that everything would work out just fine. It wasn’t like you couldn’t afford a child, you had more than enough money to provide for them, it was just…

The two of you hadn’t been together for that long; not really. And although that didn’t diminish your love for one another, it didn’t change the fact that Jumin was still just getting used to being emotionally vulnerable and opening himself up to other people.

Would children be too much, too quickly?

He’d never even expressed interest in having children before; he was far too occupied with you and your relationship, enjoying the joys of the present and letting the future bring what it may.

And although you manage to hide your continual morning sickness from him for a little while, you know that as soon as you start to show, you won’t be able to put it off any longer.

When you wake up feeling nauseous yet again, Jumin declares it the final straw.

“MC, you’re clearly ill. I’m phoning a doctor,” he says, voice stern and leaving no room for disagreement. “I should let Assistant Kang know that I won’t be in for work today…”

Your weak protests fall on deaf ears, and barely half an hour later, Jumin is opening the door…

You didn’t realise that “phoning a doctor” entailed bringing in a whole team of specialists in various medical fields.

They check your vitals, and when you hear them begin to murmur about blood tests, you break.

“Jumin, this isn’t necessary!”

“What? Of course it is–they can help, MC. There’s clearly something wrong-”

“Jumin, I’m pregnant!” you snap, the words falling from your lips before you can register their utterance. Jumin’s eyes widen, and he clears his throat as deafening silence falls over the room.

“Excuse us,” he manages, and the team of specialists quickly and awkwardly take their leave.

Honestly, he’s lowkey offended that you kept it from him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is stiff and cold, and your heart sinks as you feebly attempt to explain.

“Do you honestly think so low of me? Do you truly not trust me, after everything that we’ve been through?” he asks, voice hard.

That’s when you start to cry.

Damn hormones!

Jumin immediately softens, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… you’re right. I do trust you, I swear, I was just… I was scared,” you finally managed, voice thick with tears.

And though it takes a little while, Jumin understands. And once the shock has faded, the small smile that tugs up the corner of his lips betrays the excitement that your news has brought him.

“We’ll have to start thinking of names, hmm?”

Seven:

You could hardly call the life that Seven led “safe.”

The risks that come with his job hardly provide an environment fit to raise a child, a thought that instantly flashed through your mind the instant you saw the two lines on the pregnancy test.

You swallow hard, hands shaking as you move to rest a hand over your stomach. If you had to guess, you’d wager that you were at least eight weeks along…

God, had Seven ever mentioned even wanting kids before?

But despite your worries, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of delight at the idea of raising children with the man you loved so dearly.

Still, that didn’t mean you knew how to tell him.

Luckily, you had time. Seven had been sent on a mission for the agency only that morning, and he wouldn’t be back for at least a month.

Although the news had been initially devastating, you were half-beginning to consider it somewhat of a blessing in disguise… at least you could figure out how to break it to him now, right? It wasn’t like you could break news like that over the phone, after all.

When Seven does finally arrive home, he wastes no time in sweeping you into his arms and planting tiny kisses all across your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, drinking in your warmth and softness and desperately attempting to atone for all the time with you that he had missed.

After finally pulling away, Seven easily notices that you’ve gained weight–of course, he’d never mention it; you were always beautiful to him.

Regardless, he can’t help but observe that you really do seem to be glowing.

Saeyoung knows you well enough to easily realise that you’re keeping something from him. He sees the nervous twitch of your fingers, the tightness of your smile…

And so, when the two of you cuddle up on the couch later that evening, Seven pressing kisses to your hair and clinging to you like a baby koala, he finally brings it up.

“Sooo… what aren’t you telling me, MC?” he asks, playfully poking your side despite the worry that claws at his chest.

What if they want to break up? Oh god, what if-

He finds himself so lost in his own concerns that when the words finally fall from your lips, it takes him a moment to process them.

“W-what?”

“I’m… I’m pregnant, Sae.”

You hold your breath, and only release it when you see the huge smile stretch over his face, brighter than the sun and just as warm.

And just like that, you know that everything is going to be just fine.

“If it’s a girl, can we name her Elizabeth?” “Seven nO-”

hope you enjoyed, please reblog/comment if you did! ^^

#mystic messenger #mm #jumin han #saeyoung choi #707 #hyun ryu #zen #yoosung kim #mm jumin #mm saeyoung #mm zen #mm yoosung #mysme #mysme zen #mysme jumin #mysme seven #saeyoung choi x reader #mm headcanons #hyun ryu x reader

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lady--thornhill · 3 years

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Following to my prev. Reblog.

You're allowed to like the things IF you acknowledge their roots, their problems, and understand that they are not lifestyles.

Dark academia for me can go fuck itself bc I'm literally an academic woth am intense fuck load of mental health bullshit and the shit I see tries to make that cool or trendy when the struggles are too real and its 15 year olds thinking wandering through libraries with much to do is edgy

Cottage core I'm guilty of, but it reminds me of the parents that cut me off - its a plea for home and not a belief that every person in the UK lives like or owns it. Moreover its hella rooted in colonialism and the idea of a return to nature. I reblog it bc it makes the memories I have feel like distant TV shows - I can focus on the environment and not on the people, v helpful

Like what you like but acknowledge and respect its problems.

Unless it's dark academia. That I will never get my head around but u do yall pal imma just say writing an essay frantically at 3am woth a voice telling u to do awful things to urself is not aesthetic, never will be aesthetic, and is real peoples' experiences

I get that it might be a coping mechanism for others but u know, idk, just irks me, but that doesn't mean I control what it means or how others feel about it

Enjoy what u enjoy but do think about these things

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neonwizardheehee · 3 years

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personal rant & brain dump bc I’m listening to bigbang and feel emo:

so i have a few topics that are circling my mind thus this will get messy (as usual hahaha)

- music as I said I’m listening to bb and the way I wanna cry??? mainly bc i miss my sis talking about them and being all happy and proud.. and just her in general v.v I feel like i overdid her with kpop and that doesn’t feel good. i was supposed to be the baby but i got too invested and now i am so damn invested i scare her :((( it makes me so sad :( but idk how to stop.(current mood & playing: let’s not fall in love)

- romance the new girls i met here are so different from the friends i have bc they are extroverts. i never had extroverts as friends before so i feel blessed now. we only met recently but they already were so open to me about things no one ever told me. like 3/4 girls i met talked to me about their first time and BOI i was so glad that we casually talked about it bc my other friends wouldn’t do that in a million years bc they are too shy. it really felt good. also no one judged me which was very reassuring. albeit me feeling a bit dumb bc i couldn’t really add to the convo but apparently I get better at listening ig? also that made me think that sex and dating shouldn’t be such an “important” topic as it is with my friends before. one friend sees it as an achievement to have a s/o but doesn’t talk about it or either brags (kskssk giiirl that’s so funny yet annoying XD yes u can be proud of your boi and brag bc i’m here for that bc i’m just so happy for you but ... not at random moments XDD). this made me realize how ppl refer to their s/o when talking to others. bc my friends who are very chill with their relationship always say their name while said friend (and ofc some others where having a relationship is important) always say “my bf/gf” or “ex” when that specific info is not relevant to the story they are telling XD

anyways it also made me realize how BAD i am with talking about my own feelings and wishes. since talking about my worries feels like complaining and i am good at that - but it feels random and uninteresting for anyone to hear i think to myself (it prob isnt). i feel so smol when asked about that topic and all i wanna answer is “???”. even if there is no pressure. idk why I’m like this and it makes me feel sorry for the people around me :( I’m so confused and idk what the question is. i can do better with writing but idk why but i wanna find out one day hahah. maybe i should just ask my new friends for advice since they are not judging me and i trust them and want to learn to be better with that. altho there’s this thought that I’m uncapable of love which frightens me a lot. I know i’m okay without it and i don’t mind but i feel so sorry for the people who like me? it also might be natural and I’m just stressing myself over nothing so idk what to ask and do -since you can’t force love right? i mean i don’t really believe in love at first sight i guess but rather spending time with that person and liking them a lot. so id why I’m pressuring myself so much with this :( maybe i am just too scared? or maybe i am anticipating too much? it all could be possible bc for everyone love is different and every relationship is different. so it’s mostly me feeling sorry for not giving back as much as i should and could :( - that’s also the reason why I’m so pro polyamorus relationships bc I know I’m not enough and idk how and if i want to fix that bc idk the rules bc there are none hahhaha - but also that makes me feel good bc i know i’m not responsible for someone’s happiness. i am too egoistical and these thoughts work as a self-protecting mechanism I KNOW that’s why i do this. so i’m not stressing myself even more. i just feel so unfairly precious when someone genuinely praises me when we’re just two ppl and no one else :( might be bc i don’t understand that feeling yet. i def want to know that but also i’m scared that it’d take me down a road where i loose myself (for some foolish reason idk why). so in the end ig I keep trying and get used to that (i already made loads of progress this year so ig i shouldn’t feel like I’m being too slow)

- studying okay so next topic is also just me feeling like i do too few. this week went quite okay and i managed to study on out study server everyday (ofc i had my bad days but i still at least smth). well yesterday i hastily did some vocab and then teh whole day i spend with friends & kpop... like LITERALLY until the night. a friend of mine was proud of me for taking a break (me too yesterday) but today i don’t feel good about that :( i missed so much. i’m scared it’ll kick me out of my study routine (since it was so hard to get my ass down to study itself!). i really want to be the person who’s studying every day and feel good about that. so since i have another thing planned today i don’t think i’ll get much done today as well :(((( i just wanna be a wise guy who knows a lot T.T i already made progress i know but... i want more.. i really wanna do well here and not be stuck behind like i was for the past 6 years :( i wanna have ambition again and not just pass... i kind of hope i can manage to study at nights on days like this but also i need my sleep so i stil have to find a solution for that. bc even tho i regret not studying as much i don’t regret hanging out with people. that’s smth i missed out in my first semester and so important in times like this were I’m stuck on my own.

- religion so i have one christian friend here and yesterday we talked about church services and stuff like that and it was cool learning how it’s with her bc she goes to a very modern church (instead of me going to a traditional one 4 times a year). Suddenly i got sad tho and felt like crying :( even tho she was just stating her opinion i felt attacked and wanted to cry. after some thinking i think it’s just the way we are used to talking about religion bc we both grew up in an area where religion is looked down onto. for me .. i turned to myself and made up my own thoughts and beliefs bc i am too scared to talk and ask someone about it bc of all the accusations around me. religion was not smth to be discussed and only smth for yourself and maybe your family for me. the girl had to fight her way through all the “churches are old and fucked up and scary” things and since she goes to a modern one has good reasoning against them - that’s perfectly understandable and I’m so proud of her for speaking up like that. but like... it hit me on thw wrong side bc i am used to these old traditions and kind of like them even :( so it felt like she was insulting me. even tho she wasn’t. i just dont know how to talk about religion and how to practice reading the bible or praying and hearing her talk about how she does all these things.. makes me feel invalid :( it’s like the only thing that i have is that i was raised a christian. but y’know for me it was okay since i learned in school not to practice or show my religion.. so idk how to do it... and i feel baby and sad if i have to ask her for some reason. i tried to look up this on the internet but ofc everyone is even more crazily involved there and it scares me SO much. so i unfollowed everyone hahah. i also have this one podcast but i still feel bad bc i’m not able to really read the bible on my own ig :( these days I’m just blaming it on the translation that i have but deep down i know it’s me who’s not able to ask questions at the text. maybe i should try to talk to someone... my sis who’s also in the same situation as me... or said girl to take me along and feel like a complete newbie and a little bit like an outcast bc religion for me is so different than to her.

- christmas i really enjoy the christmas spirit but i also already wanna cry if i think about gifts. i hate that i have so many people i love and will prob get smth from them so i have to make smth in return. i am overwhelmed and scared already. i didn’t even make a list yet T.T feels like i should block time to figure out gifts in my schedule bc I’m just putting it off more and more :( and also i already feel sorry for everyone bc they will get shitty gifts bc I’m so bad at this :(

#now i feel drained and want to cry in your arms just bc #what am i so gloomy for today?#anyways sry if you read this #i truly am sorry #NOT @ SPOTIFY FOR PLAYING BABY DON'T CRY #not okay i just

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jamesdeerest · 5 years

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the worst liar

pairing: remus lupin x reader

request: @blackpinkdolan asked “Can you write something with remus where the reader thinks he is cheating bc he is distancing himself and is gone on the full moon and when the reader asks him why, he gives stupid reasons (wow that was a run on sentence😂)”

notes: i had loads of fun with this request!!

warnings: smol bit of angst, swearing, mentions of cheating

word count: 1.3k

“y/n, wait up!” you looked behind you, eyebrow raised as sirius came to a halt in front of you, leaning over and panting for breath. “you,” he put a hand out,��“are a hard woman to find. anyway, remus wanted me to tell you that he can’t make it today. and he’s really sorry, too. he’s.... what’s he doing... he’s ill! yes! remus is ill. anyway, bye! i have a snog waiting for me in an empty charms classroom, and, i mean, i can’t let that wait.” you just nodded, ignoring the crushing feeling in your chest as he huffed and ran off again, before turning to holly, your friend, and groaning at her glare. “don’t, holz-”

“don’t you ‘don’t, holz’ me?! that’s the what, fourth date in a row that he’s cancelled? this isn’t fair on you, y/n. dump the flaky boy, and life will be good!” you sighed, your defense sounding feeble even to you. “i really like him, holly. you heard sirius, he’s ill.” holly snorted, shaking her head. “if you want to lie to yourself, be my guest. i still think you should dump him, anyway.” you swung your arm around holly’s shoulder, squeezing her in a side hug. “hey. if he does it again, i promise you, i’ll break it off. happy?” holly smiled at you, ruffling your hair. “i’m just looking out for you, y/n. i don’t like seeing you sad.”

you kept walking to hogsmeade, meeting up with some of your other friends on the way, but holly pulled you back. “okay number one, you’re coming to the three broomsticks with us, your day is not getting ruined by a stupid boy, and two? i’m sorry, but sirius is the shittiest liar i’ve ever seen,” she grinned, making you burst into laughter. “thanks, holz.” you said, before jumping in the nearest puddle to you, splashing muddy water all over holly’s jeans, and sprinting away cackling. “you bitch, get back here!”

you got back from hogsmeade a couple hours later, cheeks aching from laughing, and the sickly sweet taste of butterbeer still on the tip of your tongue. your good mood dissipated in seconds, however, when you saw your boyfriend, laughing too, and distinctly not ill. when he saw you, a guilty look immediately came over him, and he started to hurry over. you groaned. you just wanted to forget about earlier, and get in the shower- holly more than paid you back for earlier, and people were already eyeing you judgingly. you elbowed holly, grabbed her arm and started walking in the opposite direction to remus, ignoring his calls of your name. holly, mercifully, went along with it, and leaned in as you briskly walked. “any reason we’re like we need to pee?”

you tried to hide your snort. “i just... don’t want to deal with remus right now. he was clearly lying earlier, and i’ve had enough? you know?” holly grinned, only walking faster. “yes, i know. i’ve been trying to tell you for months. anyways, whilst we’re speedwalking, can we speedwalk to the dorm? i need a shower.” you laughed, agreeing. “yeah, you do. full offense, holz, you stink.” she gasped, shoving you. “says you!”

about an hour later, you had finally got all the mud out your hair. once you had wrapped it up in a towel, you got on some comfy leggings and one of remus’ hoodies, quickly towel-dried your hair so it wasn’t dripping down your back, and headed off to dinner, thoroughly exhausted. plopping yourself down at the y/h table, you had only just started your mac ‘n cheese when remus tapped you on the shoulder. “hey, can we talk?” you barely looked up from your food before replying. “maybe later, i’m really tired.” remus paused, before mumbling an agreement and going back to his friends. holly grinned, squeezing your cheeks. “i love this y/n.” you shook her off, smiling, and tried to ignore the nagging feeling at the back of your head. it’s fine. you’d talk to him tomorrow.

well, a week had gone by, and you hadn’t said more than two sentences to the boy. you had tried, though, every time he was ‘busy’. funny, that. busy. you know who else seemed to be busy all the time? mary mcdonald. you hadn’t payed much attention to the mousy gryffindor before, but she sure seemed to spend a lot of time around remus. holly was positively fuming, and you couldn’t be bothered to stop her. at least you had been making an effort, but it was always ‘not right now, y/n’, ‘i’ll talk later, y/n’- the list of excuses went on and on. and last night, remus showed up to dinner with a fresh scar on his face! when you asked about it, he brushed it off as he fell down the stairs. likely story. wouldn’t be surprised if mary mcdonald gave him that, during when he was ‘busy’.

you were thoroughly miserable, and holly had had enough. this particular lunchtime, you and a couple friends were hanging around the courtyard, just chatting, when holly walked over, grabbed your arm and dragged you over to where the marauders were sitting. james saw you, paled, saw holly, paled even more, and nudged remus, who jerked upright when he saw you, stumbling over and muttering apologies. however, before you could say anything, holly whipped her hand back and slapped him, right across the face. “you, remus lupin, have some fucking nerve.” remus, bless him, just stared at holly, shocked, while you stepped in between the two. “holly, chill. i’ve got this, alright?” grudgingly, she nodded, and you dragged a stuttering remus back into the castle, and then into an empty classroom.

perching yourself on one of the desks, you watched as remus shifted awkwardly, the silence palpable. well, you thought, go big or go home. “are you cheating on me with mary mcdonald?”

remus blanked. of all the things he’d planned for you to say, that hadn’t occurred to him. you took his silence as an agreement, and, fighting the tears that threatened to fall any minute, nodded, gulping, and stood up, walking past him. suddenly, remus’ brain turned on again, and he reached out to grab your arm, stopping you. “no. i’m not cheating on you with mary mcdonald. or anyone, for that matter.” relief flooded through you, and you returned to the desk, thinking over your next words, trying to keep composed before- fuck it. you looked up, and remus’ heart ached at your red rimmed eyes. “what’s going on, remus?”

and just like that, all remus’ excuses that he had planned out for nights on end with peter flew out of his head. “u-um... i’m... taking ballet classes?” his eyes went wide as he realised what he said, wincing at your deadpan face. “try again, remus.”

“i’m doing graffiti in hogsmeade.” what the fuck, remus.

“i’m... training to be a pole dancer!” oh, my merlin- his thoughts cut off as you laughed, before covering your mouth. so much for being composed.

remus took a deep breath, before taking both of your hands in his own. “y/n, i’m... i’m a... i’m a werewolf.” your eyes widened, and for a second his heart stopped. you took a step back. “is that it? god, i thought you were-”

“cheating on you. i know. and i’m sorry for hiding it. i- i didn’t want you to hate me, that’s all.” your face softened, as you rushed forward to hug him. “remus, i could never hate you. so what if you go a little furry once a month? big deal.”

remus laughed, trying to ignore the tears building up. you were really something else. “well, i mean, it kind of is-”

“remus?”

“mm?”

“shut up and kiss me.”

“yes ma’am.”

taglist: @shadylittlewonder @hoewkeye @sassy-specter @blackpinkdolan @knowledgeisthebomb @im-eating-rn

#remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fanfic #pottair writes

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m-cree · 5 years

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you know what I am feeling very full and very thoughtful right now and I never really ramble about my own experiences so much as I ramble about my opinions but it’s pride month and I love being queer and I love other queer people and I just need to write this shit down, I think.

my sexuality and the way I approach it was so deeply affected by the way I was raised and the experiences I had as a child and ive never really given myself time to think about those ideas until now. it’s only recently that I realised the reason why im borderline repulsed by the idea of dating men despite being attracted to them and identifying as bisexual is because when I was 8 or 9 I briefly went to a school where everyone in my class just up and decided that me and a boy who I hung out with were dating, even though i had in no way expressed interest in him – keep in mind I was LITERALLY a prepubescent child. I can even recall a time where a girl who I sat next to at lunch had said “don’t u think [name] is cute?” and I responded with a shrug because “yes” or “no” was out of the question for me because even as a child when the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend is this cool, mystical thing that only cool kids have, my interest in males was very little.

this entire series of events was the cause of my first emotional breakdown, which, by the way, I had FAR too early in life, and also led to a whole bunch of other issues. being told by a load of girls in my class that this boy apparently did like me, when I didn’t share the same feelings, gave me this giant narcissistic complex (that I still experience to this day may I add) where I crave the idea of male attention, validation, and affection despite not wanting to return any of those feelings, that severely affects the way I act around males, even males who are my close friends.

watching a tv show with my dad when I was a little older, maybe 12 or 13, made me certain I was never going to be able to come out to him. a transgender character said that he’d known he was a boy since he was a child, and my dad just muttered very passionately about that being “bullshit” and various other expletives. the feelings I have towards my dad and his opinions is very strange because I know he is fully accepting of queer and trans people. my brother is gay, and my dad is fine with it. my cousin is trans, and even if he again said that he didn’t think my cousin was old enough to know he was trans (even though he was 17 at the time of coming out and at least 19 or 20 now) and often trips over pronouns and names, he still does try to respect his identity. ive even talked to my dad before about homophobia and the application of politics to sexuality and he’s said things that I whole heartedly agree with like “there’s nothing political about the way someone is born, it’s not something they can help, it’s just the way they are” and yet im still absolutely terrified of coming out to him and know I could never do it myself. my mum has had to out me to my siblings (upon my request) and has told me she will do the same for my dad, although I don’t know if she’s done that yet, and the uncertainty of whether or not my dad knows about my sexuality makes every visit to his place a minefield.

even coming out to my mum was a trainwreck because I never even intended to come out the way I did. I had an emotional breakdown in a car park because I have certain problems with communicating because sometimes I don’t understand what people (particularly adults) are asking me/don’t know how to answer them and when that happens my brain just shuts down and I cant respond. my mum didn’t understand the problem and just assumed it was some other ~teenager thing~ so asked me if I was upset and repressing things because I was having issues with my sexuality. I nodded and didn’t actually say a word the entire time because despite being proudly and angrily and purely bisexual I physically cannot say the phrase “I am bisexual” out loud to my mum. I can acknowledge myself as queer, I can say “we” when referring to queer people when I talk to her, but I cant call myself bisexual in front of her, and I don’t know why. my mum has two queer children – even if my brother is raging racist transphobe – and is very clear about being fully supportive of both of us, but I cant verbally state my identity to her. I also cant talk to her about queer stuff for too long without crying.

i don’t rlly have a concrete end to this post. mostly bc it’s a vent post and not made to be ~rebloggable~ but I felt the need to spill some stuff bc it’s only recently that ive realised im not as stable in my queer experience as I thought I was. let’s just end it with “I want a gf” bc at least it’s true

#txt #very long post im sorry

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theangry-ace · 6 years

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currently playing: Ken ga Kimi

update 5

time for our resident haraguro(?) boi, Sakyo. tbh I’m not looking forward for his route at all bc I am absolutely fucking scared of anything close to yan. my kokoro is not strong enough for them. but I do like Sakyo in the drama cds, especially the momoyo tsuzuri one. he’s like the most gentle boi with a tendency to tease Kayo or anyone else, whether or not that’s what he intended to do or not.

WARNING: THIS BOI BROKE ME PLS HELP

so our boi Sakyo has two kind of face; one, the ‘normal’, a bit formal and proper personality he showed to others. the other is the 100% enraged, I-will-kill-you-slowly-bc-I-wanna-enjoy-killing-you type of thing. he has a bit of an anger issue as well that he does exactly nothing to hide if ppl mentioned them. his purpose in life is only to exact the revenge of some oni who attacked and murdered his entire family. Sakyo mentioned in the common route that he didn’t trust (or don’t like) Enishi and Suzukake. I suppose he didn’t like ppl who didn’t seem to be dependable.

after the whole merry joyride to Sunpu, Sakyo went to some cave which was rumored to gather a heck load of oni trying to do... something? IDK. but they had already cleared the cave and was on the way to Edo. back in Edo, Kayo’s dad put up a banquet for the six samurai who had been protecting his precious baby girl but Sakyo didn’t manage to be present. he was instead busy in his pursuit for Zantetsu, one of the oni who killed entire family. but unfortunately, Sakyo walked right into a trap and was surrounded by oni and he got away with a terrible wound on his arm (I don’t remember which but he did say it’s no biggie bc he use his sword in another). it was night when Kayo saw Yanohiko, a neighboring kid, was wandering around saying he was getting some water for a wounded samurai. after Kayo realized it was Sakyo, she took him to her room and somehow managed to hide a whole person for a long time in her own fucking room without her dad even noticed!!! what the heck dad like i respect that u respect ur baby girl’s privacy but a wHOLE GROWN ASS PERSON!!! IN UR FUCKING HOUSE!!! FOR MANY DAYS!!!!

and so while living incognito in a girl’s room, Yanohiko came by as well to play with Sakyo. dude is actually not 24/7 angry or thinking about revenge. he is quite gentle with Yanohiko and taught the boy to write and play goma (spinning top?). there is one goddamn funny scene when Kayo’s dad suddenly wanna talk with her and there’s nowhere to hide Sakyo so she shoved him into her futon and get in with him with his goddamn face between her legs lol. STILL THE DAD DIDN’T FUCKING NOTICE???? welp. eventually Sakyo heard about Zantetsu going to enter the tourney that was going to take place and he took off without telling Kayo, leaving her having to lie to Yanohiko whenever the boy asked for him. she managed to find him later when he was trying to get his family’s treasured sword, Hotarumaru, to be fixed/sharpened by a famous fixer(?). he was refused, though, for obvious reason that Sakyo just wanted to kill with his sword.

Kayo shared this with Suzukake who had been supplying her with the medicine for Sakyo and my son said he, too, gonna join the tourney. so she and Suzukake went to the tourney together to see Sakyo. they heard about Zantetsu (lol Suzu called him ojisan) being a merciless opponent and got worried when later Sakyo was to fight him. Sakyo showed some... I think some kind of arrest warrant or written right for him to ask for a duel to the death, for killing his father, mother and elder sister?? or something?? but since Sakyo having his arm still injured and his sword not fixed, he lost the match terribly. Suzukake and Kayo wanna see him at the back room where he was taken but got refused bc Sakyo was ‘desecrating the holy tourney ground with his selfish need to exact his revenge’ or something. Sakyo was to be dumped into jail but Enishi came by and after some ‘talking’ (remember; he is actually some big shot in the Edo castle), he promised that he will make sure Sakyo will be taken care of and would not be in jail.

Kimi -nice end-

all thanks to strings pulled by Enishi, Sakyo is free from being jailed. he met Kayo to tell her everything about his tragic past. when he was a kid (8yo I think), he had a terrible fever and was bedridden. this coincidentally made him hidden from a murdering oni who came for the entire Sagihara family, who he explained was the descendant of those who forged the Five Heavenly Swords. I could not get why the Sagiharas were killed, but Sakyo survived thanks to his nurse maid and incidentally inherited his family’s heirloom, the Hotarumaru. from the age of 12, he strive to become a samurai and would eventually hunt every oni he could find, but because Sakyo was defeated by Zantetsu in the tourney, Sakyo didn’t feel like he is worthy of such pride of his family’s name. he left it in a cave and determined to carry on life no longer as a samurai. Kayo, after hearing all these, understands the whole dilemma the dude is in, but she told him it’s not reason enough to leave behind what was precious to the memory of his family. convinced by her words, Sakyo and Kayo made their way to the cave where he left Hotarumaru and retrieve it. when he unsheathe it then, glowing orbs of light filled the dark cave like a real firefly. Sakyo was so ashamed that he almost abandoned the sword there and from then vowed to always carry it with him as if he was carrying his family on his shoulders. Kayo later convinced the sword fixer/sharpener(?) person to fix Hotarumaru.

after getting his sword back, he told Kayo he couldn’t let Zantetsu’s sin towards his family to go free so he left her one night with a letter he told her to open if he never returned. while he went for his supposed one-on-one duel, Kayo just can’t sit still waiting for Sakyo to come back. she went to follow him but met Kei on the way of his patrol. buddy told her to stay home while he grab some of his pals to help Sakyo. those pals turned out to be the rest of them samurai who went to Sunpu the other day! thankfully for that, Sakyo was saved by an ambush planned by Zantetsu. Tsuzumi was there as well as he was threatened with Nanae’s life he didn’t cooperate. in the end, Zantetsu is finally dead and Sakyo could then rest easy the revenge he was living for has ended.

in the after story, Sakyo married Kayo with the five samurai buddies became her real bridal escort procession to Sakyo’s home country of Yamashiro.

Kimi -another nice end-

not that different than the previous ending, but Kayo was there with her naginata to help with Sakyo instead of staying home. fortunately, she arrived when Zantetsu got done dead. later there was news regarding Sakyo wanting to return back to his home country and probably will not coming back, and everyone knew about Kayo’s relationship with Sakyo. they all asked if she’s going with him, or why she’s unbothered about him going away, but baby girl really didn’t know how to react. sure, they’re lovers, but Sakyo never told her what he planned to do in the future, or whether or not that involved her at all.

Kayo held another feast for her samurai friends and also doubles as a farewell to Sakyo but the dude came late and has no idea why ppl giving him a farewell party. Kayo noticed him looking angry and restless seeing how close the other samurai dudes with her. Sakyo later couldn’t sit still anymore and pulled her to talk alone. there he told her he has no plan on going home aside from a short trip to visit his family’s grave, and that he planned to open up a free shrine school (kinda like a private but small informal school) for kids like Yanohiko who got orphaned and not privileged enough for a basic education. Sakyo and Kayo promised to marry each other soon.

Ken -too terrible what the heck end-

Kayo still tried to convince Sakyo from acting on his revenge against Zantetsu. Sakyo got annoyed and angry bc of this, that he assaulted Kayo to show how much of a terrible guy he is in actuality. he part ways with her and supposedly never to see her again, but he found himself led by a mysterious force to a cave where the whole shits of Asakura trying to reincarnate Tadanaga. there was nothing there but an ominous looking sword called the Muramasa. Sakyo took it after hearing a woman’s ghostly voice lamenting about her unborn child. he immediately thought the ghost to be his dead sister who had returned to the Sagihara family due to her getting pregnant and wanted to stay close to her parents during the whole pre-natal care.

however unknown to Sakyo, it was a malevolent evil spirit which was leading him to find Zantetsu to murder him. he got drunk with the pleasure to kill and didn’t stop at just one person. he managed to kill 10 ppl in one night at Yoshiwara alone, and he wasn’t stopping anytime soon. Kayo actually met with Sakyo before going on his murdering rampage and he told her he had thrown away his Hotarumaru in a lake bc the evil spirits in Muramasa told him to. there was no doubt that the madman who was killing people in the night was Sakyo, the man that she loved. she asked the help of her samurai friends to stop Sakyo but things got much worst when Yanohiko became his victim. the boy just wanted to show Sakyo his spinning top.

eventually they figured out about the evil sword and thought they’d better try to separate Sakyo from it or kill him entirely. they went to the lake where Kayo heard Sakyo said he dumped Hotarumaru, thinking if there’s any humanity left in him, he might want to reunited with his family’s heirloom. unfortunately, in his clouded mind, Sakyo heavily injured Kayo and she succumbed to the wound despite whatever Suzukake tried to do. Sakyo decided to kill himself in a cave with some kind of explosive.

they met in the afterlife and thought to cross the Sanzu river together to... Heaven? but the evil sword reminded Sakyo how much of a sin he had committed, and that he belongs to Hell. Kayo decided to fall to the endless abyss with Sakyo for eternity. this is a terrible ending I hate it.

Ken -just as terrible end-

Kayo managed to stop Sakyo from killing Yanohiko but the dude fled after realizing what he was trying to do. Kayo figured out that he needed to be reunited with Hotarumaru so she went to the lake where he dumped it. Sakyo was there, but he has already made up his mind that nothing he could do would ever atone his sins so he jumped into the lake. Kayo follow suit and they woke up in the afterlife. they tried to cross the Sanzu river but Sakyo stopped halfway saying there’s a lot of angry ppl on the other side, not gonna let him into Heaven. they were the innocent lives he had murdered before. Kayo, on the other hand, didn’t see the angry souls but instead heard some familiar voices calling for her. Sakyo guessed it must have been her loved ones in the living world. he told her to follow the voice and lived a happy life for his behalf. Kayo woke up again surrounded by her panicky dad and her friends. they told her she was floating by the lake, but Sakyo’s body was nowhere to be seen.

the epilogue has Kayo wanting to pay respect to Sakyo’s victim’s graves.

HOOOO BOY I SURE AS FUCK DIDN’T ENJOY THESE KEN ROUTES ONE BIT WHO THE FUCK WROTE THEM I WANT TO SUE FOR THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGES THEY DIDDDD!!! I’M BROKEN, YOU KNOW!!! THEY SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST HAVE ONE OF THEM WITH SAKYO IS ALIVE BUT HAD TO FACE HIS SINS I KNOW THAT’S NOT A BETTER END BUT AT LEAST BOI IS ALIVE AND KAYO DIDN’T HAVE TO BE SAD WHAT THE HECK THESE ARE TERRIBLE ENDINGS I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMM

*inhale, exhale*

well at least I like that in Sakyo’s four routes, the roles of the other samurai dudes are quite prominent. it’s nice to see the whole stupid scene with Tsuzu and Suzu arguing about the other stealing the food, Enishi teasing Saneaki that he can’t drink, also Kei the tsukkomi lol that was a nice scene.

FINALLY!!! now I get to my baby son, Suzukake!!!! I’ve actually half cleared his route before but didn’t see the ending yet. I SURE AS FLYING FUCKERY SHIT WILL NOT BE READY FOR THE ROUTE WHICH MY SON DIE!!!! probably I would skip it....

#ken ga kimi #ending spoilers #hello police pls arrest this game it made me sad

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mundanesocialite · 5 years

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69 :D

1. I hate u but I also would die without you so theres that.

Why do we need to do this you know I'd die for you on the spot unconditionally. You are,,,,,, literally,,,,, like,,,, my best,,,,, closest,,, fuckin,,, friend,,,, bitch,,, fuck OUTTA here w that shit u know how I feel abt u but fine let me get a little gayer for a min and channel every ounce of love an affection I have for you

In the short years we've known one another- I didn't expect us to become this close. At first your muse was just, to me, something new and shiny and I liked the character and all the attention you gladly sent my way and I guess it was something we both needed given the issues ur having in this community even to this day. I didn't expect to get this involved in our storyline or in our ship, or in your muse, but I'm very happy that I did. I remember back then I'd reblog ask memes to bait you into sending them in because I already had responses rehearsed for them- it didnt always work but that's just how shit goes sometimes thats how life is. i knew that a ship between our muses was definitely what you were looking for and I intentionally reblogged a love potion meme just so u would send one in and I could keep writing w u bc that became something I looked forward too. We werent all that close then and really spoke mostly IC, which is how things were between us for the longest time. I really cherished our verse and our ship and I loved it- I know I did some things which may not have made it look that way esp w the halloween event on your blog I'm sure I scared u into thinking I was fine w never writing w you or your muse again bc while discussing it we both realised it would be an end all to the relationship between them. We still haven't finished that thread, and I'm kinda glad sometimes that we took so long with it, because we were able to become so much closer in the time between then and now. I don't know what I'd be doing now if we had fallen out after the end of that thread- a lot of the time thinking abt our dumb bitch kids is smth to make me smile thru the day esp with the loads of stress on my shoulders now at work.

Sometimes I think you might think I'm joking abt how much I love you and your ideas/characters/aus/whatever, but I'm really not. You're brilliant and your ideas are something I find fascinating, something I'd like to hear more about ans explore further. I think you have the potential to do great things with your words and I wish more people would give you the chance to prove that to them. I'm proud of you, for everything, and I adore you, and all that comes with you. You've done a lot for me and I want to find a way to return that favour.

#ooc ;: meme answered #long

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ultraspideysense-blog · 7 years

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Surprises (Tom Holland Imagine)

request: “Do you think you can write a tom holland x reader where they are dating and she surprises him on set in his trailer...” (requested by anon)

short summary: ^^^with a funny lil twist lmao

length: 1.4k words

warnings: i didnt label this as smut bc it’s not inherently smutty and i didn’t rlly write any legit smut in here, this is mostly fluffy shits.

A/N: i didn’t put the whole request above bc i didn’t wanna spoil the whole thing but the anon knows who they are hope u like it bud kinda short but eh also sorry i suck at titles

“Thanks Harrison,” you smiled gratefully as he led you into Tom’s trailer on set.

“Of course, Tom’s been whining about how much he’s been missing you so I’m sure he’ll be pretty excited for this surprise,” Harrison replied shaking his head. His phone buzzed with a notification. “I’ve gotta go, but Tom should have a break in around 20 minutes if I remember correctly.”

“Cool, I’ll just chill in here I guess,” you said, taking a seat on the couch in the corner. He then bid you goodbye, leaving you on your own. Your curiosity got the better of you as you started to inspect his trailer. And it was loaded with a ton of cool shit.

Damn, you thought to yourself as you opened up the fully stocked mini fridge in the corner and took out some Fiji water. You know they aren’t playing around when they’ve got a mini fridge full of Fiji water.

After poking and prodding with a few more items in Tom’s trailer, you settled yourself back the couch. Checking your watch, it was just about time for his break. Instead of just staying seated and acting nonchalant for when he came in, you decided to hide behind the couch and freak him out a bit.

Just as you’d put yourself in a position where you’d be able to pounce, the door to the trailer opened. Taking a risky peek above the head of the couch, you see your boyfriend all decked out in his Spider-Man suit from head to toe, minus the mask. You’d never actually seen him in the full outfit in person and it took everything in you not to geek out at how real and amazing it looked, especially on him.

Ducking back down before he noticed you looking, you waited. You heard him take a seat on the couch, tapping away on his phone. Slowly rising up from behind the couch, you rested your head on the top next to his. After waiting a few seconds, he still hadn’t taken note of another presence.

“Whatcha doing there pal?” you asked coolly with a teasing smile on your face.

Tom’s head immediately whipped to the side, knocking your head in the process, as he let out a surprised yelp. You groaned a bit, rubbing the side of your head.

“Y/N? Holy shit, what are you doing here?” Tom exclaimed excitedly, jumping out of his seat.

“Apparently trying to get a concussion,” you grumbled as you stood up. Tom reached out his arms to steady you a bit as you got up from the ground.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized, scratching the back of his neck. You took a few more moments to adjust yourself and you felt fine, so you just gave him a smile in return.

“Harrison kept complaining that you were complaining about how much you missed me, so I decided to come out here for a few days,” you explained. “That, and I kind of really missed you too.”

Your boyfriend pulled you into a hug. “I’m really glad you’re here,” he mumbled into your hair. You hummed against his chest in response, trying to memorize every aspect of his body. His strong grip, his slight scent of the woods.

“Remind me to never go this long without seeing you again,” you said quietly as you held him a bit tighter. Between Tom’s shooting for Spider-Man: Homecoming and your commitments to university, you two hadn’t been together in almost a month.

He pulled away from the embrace, his hands sliding down to hold you by your hips. “Deal, darling,” he replied with a cheeky grin on his face.

“Okay, I have actually never seen you in the suit in person, and this is actually pretty badass,” you said as he released you to playfully do a pirouette. “Now I kind of want to get myself one of these.”

“Trust me you, don’t,” Tom laughed. You cocked your head quizzically.

“I mean it’s really cool, don’t get me wrong, but it takes a village and about 45 minutes to get this thing on completely. And it is tight in places where it should not be tight,” he said, shuddering a little bit.

“I still want my own suit,” you replied stubbornly. “It can’t be that bad.”

Rolling his eyes, he grabbed your face by the cheeks and pulled your face to his for a proper kiss. You relished in the warmth of Tom’s lips, and the careful yet forceful way he responded to yours.

Tom began backing you up, without breaking the kiss, until the two of you fell into an ungraceful heap on the couch. He was situated on top of you, but pulled back for a minute to study your features. You did the same to him.

You were in love with this boy. You loved way the light never seemed to leave his deep brown eyes and the way there always seemed to be a strand of hair out of place, sweeping across his forehead. You reached out a hand to adjust it, and ended up softly caressing his cheek. He grinned.

“I love you,” you said quietly.

“I love you more,” he said, booping your nose with his finger. You giggled quietly at his antics.

“When do you have to be back out there?” you inquired as your laughter died down. He got off of you to grab his phone to check the time.

“3 minutes,” he groaned with a frown. A wicked smile overtook your face as you thought of a way to spend those next few minutes.

“Don’t frown, I’m here for a couple days. Just shut up and kiss me before you go,” you said grabbing him by the hand and pulling him back on the couch, this time climbing on top of him.

Initiating the kiss this time, it got heated faster, the added pressure of time making the two of you antsy. After sharing a few gentle, careful pecks, you went all in, losing yourself in the moment as Tom’s arm wrapped around your waist.

Your hands seemed to have a mind of your own as they ached to feel Tom everywhere. They spent a few moments mussing up his hair, another few around the back of his neck, then down to his abs.

He moaned into your mouth as your fingers started to draw small patterns on his abs. a few inches above where he probably needed you most. You made a move to unzip his pants, but realized he was in this goddamn Spider-Man suit.

Despite your inability to go any further, you could feel him growing hard against your thigh. You didn’t have the heart to stop, so you just continued making out with him, slyly introducing your tongue to his mouth to further things.

“Tom, are you in there?” you heard Harrison outside the trailer. You scrambled off of your boyfriend in case the door was to be opened. Tom looked a bit mortified as he realized his unfortunate predicament.

There was no way he could hide his hard on in the skin tight material of his suit, nor was there any way he could get rid of it before he had to go back to shooting in the next few moments. You burst out laughing as Harrison opened the door.

“Come on, we’re on a tight schedule today, Jon’s not gonna be happy--” he stopped mid-sentence as Tom tried to grab a something to cover the evident bulge in his suit. You were in hysterics, mentally patting yourself on the back for your handiwork. Harrison joined you in your laughter.

“Now that is rich,” Harrison got out as he tried to subdue his chuckles and gave you a high five.

“Shut up and help me!” Tom whined, desperately looking between the two of you. His face was flushed and contorted in a grimace.

“No way that’s not my job,” Harrison said with his hands up in defense.

“Sorry, babe, if you’ve gotta be on set then I don’t have any time to help,” you replied teasingly, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you later,” you called out as you ran out of the trailer.

“Y/N, god, I’m so getting you back for this!” he yelled after you.

Tom jumped up to chase after you, but as soon as he opened the door he remembered his little problem and jumped back inside, where Harrison was doubled over in laughter yet again.

You were definitely in for it the second he was done for the day, that’s for sure.

please give me feedback what did y’all think? didn’t rlly know where to end it lolz sorry. requests are always open tbh (it might take me a minute to get to ur request though so be patient bubs) <3

also the full request was this lol: “Do you think you can write a tom holland x reader where they are dating and she surprises him on set in his trailer they kiss and things get heated *wink* but they realize that they can't do anything cause he's in his spider man suit”

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #imagines #imagine #marvel #spider-man: homecoming

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le-sejour · 7 years

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Assumptions

Words: 1,530+

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, cheesy/bad flirting, kinda sexual thoughts lmao, my writing AHAHA

A/N: Just wanted to do a funny little TJeffs imagine bc I can’t seem to have enough of the imagines out there. So I decided to add my own prompt based one to the mix. :>

The prompts I used:

45 - Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

171 - “I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

And

208 - “It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

I hope you guys like it! c’:

Being a Hamilton was a lot of work.

More specifically, being the younger sister of a protective, overachieving Hamilton was a lot of work.

The words on your book seemed to swirl together into an incoherent mess, your eyes straining to make sense of the chaos. Groaning, you shut your notebook dejectedly and reclined in your seat.

None of this made sense to you, at all, but of course you have to keep trying.

It’s what Hamiltons do.

Or at least, you did. Your brother didn’t have to try, he probably would have been done learning this chapter weeks ago. You felt the familiar pull of anxiety pressuring you into becoming at par with your older brother but you desperately pushed it down before it could come up.

Leaning further back against your seat earned you a satisfying crack. How long have you been hunched over this dumb book anyway? Checking your phone, your eyes widened at your notifications and the time.

“Christ…” You muttered, miserably staring at the “8 missed calls” seeming to taunt you. It was nearing midnight and you’ve been chilling in the coffee shop by your campus for more than 12 hours now. Alex was going to be pissed.

Not that he even had a reason to, anyway. Your apartment was just down the road from where you were. But that doesn’t deter his innate need to become both your mother and father all at once; fussing over you before scolding you for being out so late. You sighed, stuffing your things into your bag leisurely.

Well, you were already in for a treat at this rate. Might as well take your time. You just hoped the boys were there with him to somehow soften the blow, knowing only they could reign in your brother when he gets like that.

Why oh why did you even insist on taking this elective this semester, anyway? You were already juggling a full courseload and a part time gig at a campus food truck, you didn’t need any more reason to go bald. And yet, here you were.

Absentmindedly, you tossed your half empty coffee cup into your bag before the realization dawned on you that you should not have done that.

“Shit!” You quickly fished out the now empty cup from your bag, letting out another long string of expletives as you yanked your things from the now slightly damp bag in panic.

“Do you mind?”

“Go suck a fat dick, asshole.” You replied almost instantly, wiping down your laptop with already soggy tissues before groaning. Letting out a whispered “duh”, you sprinted to the counter to grab some dry ones this time.

“What are you doing?” When you returned to your table, this mass of curls and rudeness was holding your precious baby in his hands as if he owned the damn thing. With your brain already in a tizzy with just seeing a stranger holding the lifeblood of your education, all that came out of your mouth was a “That’s not yours.”

“Your welcome, darlin’.” He teased with a smirk on his face as he handed you your now dry laptop. “I suggest using whatever lives inside the space between your ears next time. Would be a shame if this happened again and the guy you told to eat a dick didn’t help you out.”

That seemed to kickstart your brain into functioning again.

“Yeah well I didn’t ask you to come here and try to play hero, did I?” You glared at the man you now recognized as Thomas Jefferson, the bane of your brother’s existence. Or so he says, anyway. You’ve had two classes with the guy, and you can kinda see what your brother was talking about. “Why are you even here, Jefferson? Shouldn’t you be off kicking puppies and making babies cry or something?”

“Now whatever gave you the idea that I spent my leisure time doing something so… unsavory?” He asked, his brows furrowing in confusion for a split second before a smug look replaced it. It had happened so fast, you weren’t sure if it even happened. “Besides, the only babe I want to hear crying tonight would be you, doll.”

“I-“ You felt your cheeks heat up from his comment, naively not expecting the man to make any lewd comments at your expense. You decided to busy yourself with wiping your bag down instead of standing there, looking like a blushing fool. “I’m not going to dignify that with a response. Besides, shouldn’t you be more… I dunno, ‘I’m not talking to the peasants’ kind of guy?”

“You seem to be making quite the assumptions about me and yet, I haven’t even had the pleasure of getting your name.” He pointed out in a charming little drawl that had your stomach flipping pancakes.

Fuck.

Okay, hey, you weren’t going to lie. The man was attractive as fuck, from the head of curls to his dark, commandeering eyes, carefully trimmed facial hair, and that body. God. Let’s not forget that voice, though, a honeyed baritone that sent your stomach postively churning with desire, and good Lord his accent just amplifyed it all. (MY VOICE KINK IS SHOWING I’M SORRY) His attitude, however, could use a little (okay a LOT of) polishing.

But what’s the harm in indulging yourself a little bit? You know you could never fall for the man, his personality alone repels your heart from that very notion (aka he’s an asshole and you’d rather not get involved with all that). Enjoying the attention, however, doesn’t necessarily involve that certain part of you.

“[Name]” You praised yourself for not stuttering, wadding up the soiled tissues into a ball before once again loading your stuff into your now coffee stained bag. “And I suppose you’re right, I am boxing you into my assumptions. Can you blame me though? Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy on campus, and your actions don’t exactly redeem you, either.”

A meticulously groomed eyebrow rose at your words, a smirk still on his lips as he leaned against the table, “You’ve been watching me? Why Miss [Name], I must say, I didn’t expect that from you. Though I can’t say it’s entirely unwelcomed. You’re free to watch me as long as you’d like, darlin’.”

“Don’t get any ideas, Jefferson,” You rolled your eyes, slinging your coffee stained bag onto your shoulders now. “We have a couple of classes together. And really, that’s enough to see what everyone’s always going on about.”

“Oh?” Thomas looked like he was mildly interested to hear your thoughts of him. He’s never really noticed you during classes, as he opted to sit with his friend James Madison up front, but hearing you talk so candidly about who you think he is both amused him and intrigued him. If you had been anyone else, especially Alexander, he would have already put you in your place yesterday.

“You’re arrogant, abrasive, and you seem to think so little of everyone who isn’t you. You constantly intentionally get into fights with Alexander, you have this habit, or should I say hobby?, of using people like pawns on a chessboard, and-”

Now, there were a few things you need to know about Thomas. One of which is that he prides himself in always coming to classes, meetings, dates, and what have yous, in the perfect state of mind and on time. But as he stared at you going off about how he was practically one with the scum of the earth, he couldn’t seem to bring himself to focus on anything you were saying.

Instead, he noticed the way your lips moved as you formed the words that sullied his good name. He etched into memory the way your eyes blazed with passion as you continued your tirade on him, and the way your eyebrows furrowed when you-

“-ot listening anymore, are you?”

“I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.” He silently applauded himself at the smooth recovery, throwing in a wink for good measure. He couldn’t seem to help it though, he’s never seen anyone talk shit about him while looking so beautiful. Not to mention, you hardly sounded like you had some personal vendetta against him. That meant you were about as much threat to him as a baby rabbit.

Aaaand there goes the pancakes in your stomach again.

Fuck.

You bit your lip, willing the flames in your cheeks to die down before they blossomed on them once more. Feeling that you were going to lose that battle, you hurried to move past him, heading for the door.

“Y’know, Jefferson? It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line. It’s sad, really. And to think I believed the rumors about your skills.”

Oh ho! He felt his smirk stretch into a very smug, very self-satisfied grin. If that wasn’t an invitation to prove you wrong.

“Back here on Wednesday at 4pm. I’ll show you exactly why those rumors came about.”

Without answering, you walked out the door knowing one Thomas Jefferson was still lounging on that table with the most conceited, wolfish smile he could muster because he knew. Oh he knew very well that you were coming back. The bastard.

You felt your heart flutter at the thought.

F u c k.

FIN

#welp #there it is #hamilton #thomas jefferson imagine #thomas jefferson x reader #thomas jefferson #tjeffs #hamfics

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storiescrafted-a · 4 years

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MUSE INFO — KATRINA ALICE CORNWELL.

all information outlined below is based on the latest possible information the small handful of tidbits fed to me by canon and the rest is me out here crying about one entire dumbass nerd, and can vary by verse. just run off the assumption that 90% of this is headcanon based it’s fine.

FACECLAIM(S): alexis bledel, cobie smulders, && jayne brook. PLACE OF BIRTH: portland, oregon. PAST RESIDENCES: riverside, iowa. starfleet academy dormitories. uss aldrin. uss griffin. uss persephone. CURRENT RESIDENCE: uss washington; san francisco, california, or paris, france. DATE OF BIRTH: april 16, 2198; age — 60. DATE OF DEATH: never, she’s immortal and i remain Firmly in denial. 2257. HEIGHT: 5′8″ EYE COLOR: blue. HAIR COLOR: brown. PARENTS: thomas cornwell (deceased), annette cornwell (estranged). SIBLING(S): john cornwell (brother). andrea cornwell-grant (deceased). paxton grant (brother-in-law), amy cornwell (sister-in-law). SPOUSE: none in canon, though she is married to @georgiov‘s philippa georgiou in about a thousand different verses so. CHILDREN: n/a. GODCHILD(REN): charlotte maldonado ( @bucketxfsunshine ). NIECE & NEPHEWS: ethan grant, thomas grant, abigail grant (andrea & paxton’s children). sarah cornwell, anthony cornwell (john & amy’s children). AUNTS & UNCLES: margaret ‘maggie’ quinn (mother’s sister, mother figure, deceased), michael quinn (maggie’s husband), jessica cornwell (father’s sister, deceased). feat. varying cousins that i’ll maybe write about later depending on their importance as kat develops further. EDUCATION: graduate of starfleet academy on the command training track, starfleet medical academy with a degree in psychiatry with specialization in post traumatic stress. completed the bridge officer’s training program. RANK: vice admiral. PAST OCCUPATIONS: ship’s counselor, uss aldrin. psychiatrist, starfleet medical. first officer, uss griffin. captain, uss persephone. CURRENT OCCUPATION(S): federation flag officer, commanding officer; uss washington. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic.

hi kat’s autistic thanks for comin’ to my ted talk.

daughter of two highly regarded federation politicians. youngest of three, following john, and andrea.

sister of john, an author and co-owner of his wife’s restaurant in san francisco.

sister of andrea, who was a member of starfleet’s security corp aboard the uss persephone before her death in late 2237.

sister-in-law of paxton grant, a teacher on one earth’s lunar colonies.

sister-in-law of amy cornwell, owner of a popular restaurant in san francisco.

aunt of ethan, thomas, & abigail grant.

aunt of sarah & anthony cornwell.

classically trained in ballet and basic ballroom due to her aunt’s profession as a dance instructor on earth. maggie claims she saw a natural talent and began teaching kat at a young age (roughly 5 years old).

her father died in 2209 (when kat was almost 10) in a rare instance of political assassination during a visit to a newly established border colony where the a small but vocal group of inhabitants weren’t entirely thrilled with the idea of being part of the federation.

shares a love of classic (printed) literature, shared with her sister, they each have fairly impressive inherited collections of printed novels of varying genres from their late father, and volumes they both managed to collect throughout their lives. kat also inherited andrea’s collection following her death.

moved to live with her aunt in her home in iowa in 2209, due to her mother shifting all of her focus to her work as an ambassador, which took her all over federation space. something she opted to do alone, rather than face her children after the death of their father (which eventually lead to kat’s career as a psychiatrist & counselor bc she wanted to learn more about how to help people handle their grief and post traumatic stress more healthily, and a lifetime of commitment and poorly-dealt with abandonment issues bc she’s smart as heck but also a Disaster).

participated in several dance competitions and recitals through her teenage years, boasts a small collection of trophies which are displayed with her old badges, commendations, and medals awarded during her time in starfleet, generally in her quarters on the washington, but they’re objects she takes with her whenever she expects to be away for a while, as they’re cherished mementos.

didn’t dance nearly as much following her acceptance to the academy due to a rigorous dedication to her studies, though she was known to perform now and then when her course load was lighter.

graduated starfleet academy in 2220 (age 21), and completed medical training in 2224 (age 25) bc she’s Ambitious As Heck and did most of her training in psychology in addition to command training during her time at starfleet academy before moving on and doing her medical training post-grad at starfleet medical academy.

took, re-took, and failed the kobayashi maru three times.

once broke three ribs in a training exercise at the academy and didn’t tell anyone because she had two exams the next day and needed to study.

she only ever pilots a vessel if she has to bc she’s not great at it and it’s an Issue.

she keeps every scar she’s ever gotten, due to nostalgia and, as she puts it, ‘they’re all lessons, so it’d be foolish to pretend they’d never existed,’. scars are as follows: a Lot on her feet and legs due to 15 years spent primarily dancing. her feet are definitely Not Pretty to look at but she likes having something to show for so many years of work. a few on her scalp & hairline ( near her right ear ) from an incident during her time on the griffin. a rly nice scar from a plasma burn on her left shoulder. a pretty gnarly scar on the back of her neck from the prison ship, as well as some on her torso from ~general torture.

she has the names of everyone she’s loved and lost tattooed on her ribs right below her heart. this memorialization began at 19 on the tenth anniversary of her dad’s death, and it’s one she strictly maintains.

switched fully to the command track soon after achieving the rank of lieutenant commander, in early 2238. inspired by what she believed to be a preventable accident aboard her sister’s ship, ultimately ending in her death, and kat’s desire to hopefully assist in the task of putting better safety protocols in place to protect officers. assigned as first officer of the uss griffin (late 2238, aged 39).

received her own captaincy within 5 years, in another instance of irony, was assigned to the uss persephone, the same ship her sister died on (though there are rumors she pulled strings in order to obtain the posting, which she’ll neither confirm nor deny). — late 2244, aged 44. served as captain of the persephone for nearly 6 years, until early 2250.

promoted to commodore in 2250, at 50 years old. rear admiral in 2252, at 53. vice admiral in 2255, at 56, where she was given command of the uss washington with her position as a flag officer.

alternates between living in san francisco or paris while on earth; depending on where she’s needed most. she has an apartment in each city, though typically defaults to san francisco, which is where most of her most prized possessions are kept (though she keeps a modest collection of trinkets, books, and decor in her quarters aboard the washington).

following her time as a prisoner of war, kat has lingering nerve damage due to returning to work too quickly and pushing herself too hard. effects range from treatable migraines to weakness and pain in her back, legs, and arms, sometimes so severe it prevents mobility.

VERSES!

STARFLEET ACADEMY —

a verse following kat’s time at starfleet academy & starfleet medical academy ( 2217 - 2224 ).

DOCTOR CORNWELL —

a verse following kat’s time as a practicing psychiatrist, mostly aboard the uss aldrin ( 2224 - 2227 ) and starfleet medical on earth ( 2227 - 2238 ).

CANON COMPLIANT —

a verse following the events of discovery’s canon.

POST SEASON TWO CANON DIVERGENT —

listen she managed to disarm the torpedo like the goddamn hero she is, and everyone lived happily ever after, the end. played a major part in concocting the cover story re: discovery’s disappearance & the decision to destroy all evidence that the ship had ever existed in the first place, including helping her crew concoct cover stories as to where they’d all actually been serving during the war and after. continues to serve as commanding officer of the u.s.s. washington which totally exists u can’t take this away from me.

MIRROR UNIVERSE —

so far all i’ve got is that she has one singular eye, a badass eyepatch, and enjoys pointy things and stabby-stabbing.

KELVIN TIMELINE —

tbd.

GREY’S ANATOMY —

joining the army after medical school had seemed a natural step. both parents had served, so why shouldn’t she? it was rare she saw any action, instead helping soldiers to deal with the traumas they continued to endure — she was more of a behind the scenes player, but it suited her well, and she was proud of her work.

an acquaintance of owen hunt and teddy altman, and following an honorable discharge due to injury, it was simple to obtain a job at grey-sloan memorial hospital in seattle as a staff psychiatrist ( and she’s always liked the rain ). sometimes it seems a more chaotic work environment than even a war zone, but katrina continues to love her work, and helping others through their problems often makes it seem easier to deal with her own.

MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE —

like most spies, she was recruited out of the military. joining s.h.i.e.l.d. was hardly the plan she had for her life, but it seemed to fit. she liked it. the training was hard, and lying for a living felt somewhat out of place with her training in the medical field. but it fit. for a long time, she worked solely as a psychiatrist, before electing to take more time as a field agent. she excelled, and began to move up in the organization. it didn’t take long before kat found herself a high ranking member of the operations division, reporting directly to maria hill.

the fall of s.h.i.e.l.d. was devastating — something she never saw coming. the next months were filled with chaos. interviews, questionings, but before long, kat found herself moving on. as suggested by her former superior, maria, she elected to apply at stark industries. for a while, she worked in human resources — she enjoyed it, working for a company headed by a powerful woman. but it wasn’t satisfying, after time spent as a spy, upon further discussion with maria, katrina elected to begin working underground with maria, and with former director nick fury. ( probably gonna be reworked due to general development ).

#* in character ┊ katrina cornwell.#long post //

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