Vent under cut... TW: mental abuse, language,Disorder mention, other possibly triggering things

People may say, "why don't you love going to your dads?"... Its not that simple, you have to do a few things to stable a healthy child father relationship... 1. you first need trust, your ruined that for me. 2. You need boundaries, you didn't give me that... 3. You need to be there, if your child thinks they have a disorder like ADHD,or depression, you might want to go get them a doctor to find that out, not just say that they don't have it and their overreaching... You make me think that everything I love is needed to be avoided or its " satanic" so thanks dad and step mom for ruining my mental state, and self esteem you "manipulating, rasist, homophobic, mentally abusive, guilty tripping, controlling SHITHEADS!!!

I think “Crowley makes up excuses as to why this Good Thing he does is actually Bad” is a fun trope in fanfic but I also think it’s OOC for Crowley to disguise doing the Right Thing as doing a Kind of Bad Thing. For as much as he gripes when Aziraphale says he does something kind or good, he never actually denies it. He will deflect, or insist it isn’t his actual nature (not responsible for my acts, I’m not nice, etc) but he won’t disagree with the consensus that what he did probably was, more or less, good—or at least Right.

While I like the idea of him lying to Hell about stuff to get out of punishments, I really dislike when people headcanon him as villainizing things like Pride and Feminism in order to participate in them (Crowley going to pride because being gay is a sin!) (like be so fr) Bigotry is an ill-fitting jacket regardless of the material, and I don’t think it’s fair to characterize him that way, even as a “way to get in” type of deal. Frankly, if you say something is a sin but feel differently about it inside, it doesn’t really matter. You did the same damage regardless.

(ELIJAH LOVE) who looks an awful lot like (DEWANDA WISE) has just been seen around Las Rio!  Apparently (SHE) is a (34) year old (CIS FEMALE) born on (FEBRUARY 18th) and has been in the city for (20 YEARS (LEFT FOR A WHILE AND RETURNED)) and is a (TATTOO ARTIST/SHOP OWNER). If there is a quote to describe them it would be “SOFT SOUL: YOU ARE SO SENSITIVE, AND YOU THINK THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU… BUT IT’S SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL ABOUT YOU, IT’S WHAT MAKES YOU SO GOOD.” BUTTERFLIES RISING  - But we have yet to make up our mind if that is accurate. [Kia, 30+, She/her, EST]

I. BASIC

Full name: Elijah Simone Love

Nicknames: E, Lijah,

Age: 34

Face Claim: DeWanda Wise

Birthdate: February 18th

Hometown: Las Rio, NM 

Height: 5ft6

Sexual Orientation: Lesbionic

Marital Status: Single Pringle

Gender Identity: Cisgender female

Occupation: Artist/Tattoo Artist/Owner of ‘Love Ink’

Neighborhood: Downtown Las Rio

Hair Color: Brown

Eye Color: Hazel

Pets: Selena (black cat w/green eyes)

More info and Full bio below the cut

II. Personality

Moral Alignment: Chaotic good

Personality Type: Mediator (INFP)

Avatar Element: Water

GOT House: House Stark

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Zodiac: Aquarius

Positive Traits: Passionate, creative, compassionate, witty, curious, empathetic,

Negative Traits: Jaded, opinionated, awkward, stubborn

Pet Peeves: People who are only concerned with their well being at the expense of others. Talking with your mouth full.

Bad Habits: Tunnel visioned. Emotional eating/drinking

III. Other

Religion: Agnostic.

Political Party: Liberal

Piercings: 5

Tattoos: 7

Typical Attire:.

Scent: Cocoa butter, lavender, and cedarwood & pituli

Hobbies: Painting, guitar, reading, volunteering, travel, eating

Phobias: fire (traumatic childhood event)

Psychiatric Disorders: Anxiety

Physical/Genetic Disorders: None.

IV. Biography

When politics is the family business, there are always heavy expectations on every member of said family. And that old adage is true, image is everything. Even before the invasive nature of social media, proper conduct in every public setting wasn’t a suggestion but a written in stone rule. Katherine Thompson and Michael Love both grew up in families that had some hand in the political world. From advisors, to lobbyists, to congressmen. These two families traveled in important circles, so it was no surprise to anyone when Kate and Mike found one another. The match was pleasing to their families, to say the least. They looked good on paper, a couple of lawyers headed for the senate. It was a perfect match. Luckily for the pair they’d actually fallen in love with one another.

The outside view of the pair’s life was picturesque. They married, practiced law at separate but equally prominent firms, before both throwing their hats in the political ring. Michael hated every minute of all of it, but there were those pesky expectations to live up to. Katherine, on the other hand, thrived. She was meant for that world, not simply bred for it. Katherine was a rising political star. She became one of Las Rio’s most beloved mayors. Her family had lived there for generations so it was the perfect place to get her start in the political world… the truth is she really did love the town.

Elijah Simone Love came at the complete wrong time but she was adored, especially by her father, he doted completely. Three years later one little Evelyn Anissa Love completed the brood. Michael took to fatherhood immediately, and it wasn’t long before he decided to take a job at a small nonprofit and help support his wife’s political career by being the primary caregiver to their children. He had finally found his calling, husband and father. Music lessons, dance recitals, elementary school bake sales, he was there for it all, and never made his wife feel an ounce of guilt for missing most of it. He was his girls’ whole world.

A young Elijah wanted nothing more than to make her parents proud, so when she was continuously called on to portray the image everyone wanted to see, perfect dutiful daughter, sister and student, she always obliged with a smile. Things became suffocating and the pressure of perfection weighed heavily on Elijah’s shoulders. No one seemed to notice or worse they didn’t care enough to jeopardize public standing.  The one thing that gave her solace when things got too difficult or her anxiety was too high was art. The release that came with the freedom of creating somehow provided her with room to breathe. In that room she learned much about herself and the world outside of the bubble her parents created. Authenticity was always important to Elijah so she pushed herself out of her comfort zone to give her work truth. The things she saw and learned, when sneaking off to places her parents would never willingly let her go, changed her view of the world.

While her mother’s political star continued to rise to places even the older woman couldn’t have imagined, her actual presence in her home became more sparse. She always made time for them in the event of a photo-op, Elijah noted, but Katherine couldn’t be bothered when it really mattered. She resented her mother for this and even more so she resented her father for falling in line and not advocating for his daughters. He’d always felt like her number one protector and he seemed to forget their best interest when it came to his wife’s career. Their relationship began to splinter.

It was Evelyn who gave Elijah purpose when it came to her family. Though the older sister rebelled she reigned it in in efforts to protect Evelyn from feeling the full wrath of their parents. There was very little Elijah wouldn’t do to protect her little sister, that’s why what happened next hurt more than anything ever could. Figuring out that she was gay wasn’t some long conflicted drawn out process. Elijah will tell anyone who asks her, that her first love was Ms Campbell, her kindergarten teacher. Her family’s knowledge of this didn’t come until much later. A 16 yr old E was found making out with a girl in her home. All hell broke loose. And as the unsuspecting teen slipped out the screaming match ensued. Things were said, the sort of things you can’t just take back. Evelyn took her parents’ side and broke Elijah’s heart. The last two years in her home were silent but still, ever the dutiful daughter, Elijah showed up when there was some political schmooze fest or press event.

Living a double life made high school a bit of a marathon. She went to a private school that required discretion for her family’s sake, so she wasn’t able to be herself there or home. She couldn’t talk about her art or the work she did in the inner-city that inspired so much of it. She was very anti-establishment and that meant most of the time anti-government and that was more reason to be at odds with her family and the life she’d lived for so long.

After months of a fairly intense application process, Elijah was accepted to California Institute of the Arts, continuing her love affair with artistic expression. The new found freedom away from the public eye was an awakening for her. New experiences unhindered by persona. She could just be, and she could be asked out by the girl who she’d been stumbling around for weeks and say yes without the scrutiny and worry of what having a gay daughter meant for her mother’s political career prospects. What a revelation.

After receiving her BFA, Elijah took some time in the world outside of school living and traveling and painting and found that making money just to support yourself as an artist presented a multitude of challenges. Very late one night a slightly tipsy and very curious Elijah made her way into an interesting tattoo parlor for her 3rd tattoo on a whim. There was something so cathartic about the process of getting a tattoo, but that night for some reason she found her mind wandering to the other side. What was it like to be the person to give ‘life’ to that for someone else, collaborate, design and create this permanent beauty on someone else’s body? She’d asked the tattoo artist so many questions that night, she’d talked herself right into an apprenticeship. And the rest as they say, was history. She fell in love with art all over again.

After a few years of making a name for herself in NYC, something about home called to Elijah. She decided there was no better place to open up her own shop and create some sort of stability in her life, for a while at least. Her family spent a lot of time in DC, she wasn’t likely to have to run into them too much.

V. HEADCANONS

Enjoys a good comicbook.

Ex-girlfriend, broke her heart real good and she definitely isn’t over it.

Father is very ill and dealing with that knowing how he treated her has Elijah in a spin  

“I’m not racist, I’m not bigoted...but being gay is NOT normal. Being heterosexual is normal! I hate how they shove it in our faces with these ridiculous celebrations” (referring to pride).

Real, actual words that were said to me yesterday. Sir, you’re lucky I was with my disabled client or else I would have been WAY less polite on your homophobic ass.

A little touch of Miles in the night

Do you think about this Michael Sheen post as often as I do?

Cause...you can see what he meant here, right? Comparing Aziraphale (especially this Aziraphale, with this boa) to Miles Maitland. Comparing two Sheens with twenty years between them.

And it's not just a boa. They are so...them. Gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Dramatic. Flamboyant. You can see this similarity in their energy in these particular moments.

And yet...is it all? Or there is something else?

Spoilers for "Bright Young Things" under the cut. tw:homophobia, just in case.

You remember what happened to Miles in the end of his storyline? To sweet, frivolous, charming Miles?

The police got Miles' letters to his ex-lover. It was 1930s, and one piece of paper with love confessions inside could lead you to prison. So he had to leave for France to avoid arrest, without even really packing his things. And it's happened just before WW2, so his further fate in soon-to-be occupied France was...unclear, let's say that.

And you know what's happening to our angel here?

He's so silly and happy. He's spending the night with a demon he just recently realized to be madly in love with. Crowley trusts him - as he showed in another round of their peculiar roleplay. He was able to be a terrible magician for one evening. This is a perfect evening, right? He's happy and is ready to share this happiness with the whole world.

There is knock in the door. In this second Aziraphale is beaming and shouts "Enter!".

The next second the door will be opened. Hell is gonna come into the dressing room. Hell that has evidence of an impossible, criminal connection. Hell, ready to trample not only over this second joy, not just this evening - but all past and possible future evenings too. Ready to destroy all of Crowley, and with him, all of Aziraphale.

All thanks to one piece of paper.

……. It was good that Aziraphale knew that trick with the photograph, wasn't it? After all, he and Crowley have nowhere to run to within the confines of Earth - the jurisdiction of Heaven and Hell is somewhat wider than that of an English court.

Peach blossoms and wolfsbane

By writer anon

Chapter 2 part 1

Yellow Smooth Violets

Tw:Homophobia briefly mentioned

Author’s note:Hello! I’ll be using flower language in these chapters from now on due to the fact that this is a Victorian era fic and back then people used to use flowers to communicate in secret so I thought it was fitting I’ll put the flowers symbolism at the bottom of the page! Hope you enjoy! I’ll also be adding music to certain parts too to help elevate the ambiance the story has Without further ado lets get into the story!

Edit note: there isn’t any music in this chapter since I couldn’t think of anything for it sorry! I’m open to some suggestions thou!

The train gently moves along the track swaying the cars ever so slightly. The train whistle blows and the train pulls into it’s stop. Agatha looks up from her newspaper and folds it neatly before getting up and stretching. Then she turns to her very sleepy body guard and gently taps her wake. “Winona we’re here hun wake up.” She said in slight hush tone. “Waz that Waz happin.” Winona drowsily says. “Welcome back to earth cowpoke we are about to get off the train.” “Oh finally i’ll go get our bags from the over head. Winona groans and stretches up and out of her chair. She yawns showing off them sharp pearly whites once more. Agatha could not and would not miss an opportunity to tease her loyal guard.”You sure you ain’t part dog or something? With teeth like that you otta be tearing meat off a bone.” Winona may be tired but she isn’t a fool and whips her head around “For the last time I ain’t no damm house pet.” She said with a growl. Agatha snickered “ Ya know what you are right you are more like a stray instead of a house pet.” Winona huffs” Why do I work for you again.” Because I’m very nice and sweet.” Agatha said with smirk. And with this Winona finally laughs at something Agatha said howling with laugher Agatha now agitated asked”And what is so funny?” Winona barrels over and wipes a tear from her eyes “ Ya know that was the funniest joke you said all day.” She barked. Agatha fed up with Winona shenanigans” Just carry the damn bags to the carriage. Don’t forget you to have to dress up for the ball.” She said “Ugh don’t remind me.” Said Winona wincing at the idea. They finally exit the train and walk a few paces away from the station to find their carriage. The driver opens the door for Agatha while Winona helps load up the suitcases and bags. She eventually also climbs in the carriage. As they are being pulled along the road Winona takes in the scenery of the city noting that it’s smells like grime and smog. She sighs she has only been in England for a short while but she already misses the Country side. Some time has passed now and As the carriage pulls along wheels turning on the the now dirt road Winona sees that the city getting smaller and smaller in the distance. She feels as though she finally gets to breathe and takes a big whiff of the country air. “Ahhhh this is much better.” She said. Agatha looks up at her “ Heh you were never really a city slicker.” She said with a smile. With a big toothy grin Winona replied “Yes ma’am I ain’t much of a city folk.I prefer to be wild and free in the country side. City is much too stuffy and even dirtier than a hog’s pen.” Agatha nods in agreement. “ Indeed the city ain’t for folk like us we enjoy the simpler things in life. I just wish my damn husband felt the same materialistic bastard.” “Why marry the fella if ya don’t fancy him?” Winona asked Agatha sighs �� It’s cuz my daddy caught me kissin a woman so he tied me off the nearest man.I don’t like men in that way so being married to him is the absolute worse it’s like bein in a jail cell with no door or window.” She said with a sad tone in her voice. Winona recoils a bit from what she heard “ Damn forgot bout all that sorry. Men are fowl creatures in my opinion so never felt the need to have one in my bed.” Agatha with an empty laugh states “Yeah just be lucky then that you don’t have to lay next to one and be grateful you have freedom in that regard.” Winona head hangs a bit low and she now is clasping her hands and twiddles her thumbs. An awkward silence fills the carriage then after it seems like an eternity Agatha clears her throat “Anywhosit I hope you did actually pack something nice to wear. This is a formal event not a night at the saloon here.” She said. Winona scoffs “ Yeah I know I got somethin don’t you fret. You just worry about rubbin elbows with them other rich folk.” She said with a small smile. They let the carriage fall in silence for the rest of the ride…

To be continued in part 2 of chapter 2

(Tumblr wouldn’t let me fit the whole thing :(

From,

Writer anon

verg long story .. eoah .. vrrh good do far 👍👍

Coming out to Jay Halstead ♥️

Parring: jay Halstead "x" gay/mlm

reader

A/n:I've been gone for so long ik, but I wanted to kick off my first fic of this year with a jay one! So I hope you enjoy and I missed you all!" (Should I make this part 2?)

Requested:❌ (no)

Tw:homophobia, cursing , fighting , mentions of past abuse, panic attacks

L/n= Last name

Y/n=Your name

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

You and your unit had decided to go out to a bar to celebrate catching a highly wanted criminal so you decided to join even though drinking wasn't your thing ... Anymore - you had gotten to the bar around 9:30 and the time you were supposed to get there was 10:00 you wanted a little bit to familiarize yourself with the bar you were scoping the place when your eyes came across jay who had obviously saw you as you two made eye contact he probably had the same instinct to come look around "hey,.* He came and sat on the stool next you "hey!" You put on a smile but you tried to focus more on looking for any cameras in case of emergency "why you here so early?" He questioned , "I could ask you the same Halstead" "just tryna check what pretty Ladies are here" he said in a joking tone , you nodded trying not to be weird if you were there to look at anyone it was the cute traine bartender boy you heard so much about , "you still not dating anyone L/n?" "Nah," you fumbled with your hoodie picking at it "haven't ment my Mitch yet" "I understand trust me- Erin... And then Hailey - hell" "hmm" he mumbled "any girl here getcha feeling anything?" He questioned , you looked at jay than at the ladies all crowding either the bar or the television playing some random football match and then at him trying his best to help a customer , "oh so you like her?" He looked at the customer waiting to be served by the bartender you just looked at the floor , you wanted to say yea, but you couldn't you knew jay would try to set you two up and you couldn't bare that. Hell it's hard for him to even think that but you know he doesn't mean it . "Jay.." you groaned swinging your stool and slumping against the bar wall "hm are you oka- OH... Ohhh" "I get it now" "you like him don't you y/n" jay pointed towards the bartender now covered in red wine from dropping the drink you nervously nodded expecting to be slapped across the face the same way your mother reacted when you told her your first kiss was a male but no you just heard jay chuckle ",man I don't care if you like guys, hell I'm just happy your finally interested in someone now c'mon!! Go talk to him" "uh-huh no I can't, he's just so ... Different," without a word jay stood up and walked over to the middle age tender and exchanging a few words with him as the rest of your unit walked in jay walked up to them leaving the bar tender red and confused as he walked over to you, "h-hello! How's your night?" He questioned trying to be nonchalant

You were flabbergasted

[]Go Bad b!itch Go Bad b!itch go![]Heartstopper AU[]Byler[]Will Angst[]TW:Homophobia[]Blood[]Curses Creds to @Mikarou2 For the eye! LOVE YOU MIKA. via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxPUVMw8KOM

Little vent

Tw:homophobia

TW:HOMOPHOBIA TALK OF HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA and SUICIDE

Homophobic people don't fucking get how much pressure they put on some queer ppl. Like telling queer ppl to kth? Just because they're queer?! Like get a fucking grip man. You need help it's 2022. The fucking Trevor Project had to be created just because queer kids wanted to kill themselves because of homophobia. You don't get how much shit you're doing that's affecting queer and trans ppl. Ppl also might be trying to make gay marriage illegal again. Do you understand how many people are gonna move out of the fucking U.S?! Get a grip. Get help.

Tw:Homophobia

What is the actually POINT of going on the internet and saying shit like

“Oh every show now has to have a gay! Why can’t it be normal?”

“So many girls are gay now, this generations going downhill”

“We get it you’re gay, why don you have to talk about it so much?!”

It literally doesn’t affect you! So fucking what there is a lesbian couple in your sacred straight sitcom, or a gay movie in your Netflix recommended. Queer people are abused, and kicked out of their families, and fires from their jobs, and beaten, and killed, and threatened, and told we’re going to hell, and that we’re scum and a mistake EVERYDAY.

Just let me watch my fucking shows in peace. Just let me talk about my experience for 5 minutes! Just let me be alive for a day without reminding me that the world is against me please and thanks.

If I Asked You To Stay Would You

Summary:  Alright, let me start with this. This fic is completely self-indulgent and based on some of the experiences I had been in the pride parade this year. It talks about pride protestors, asshole conservatives, homophobia, panic attack, and disassociation. I try to not be super explicit but give it the details that it deserves. Also this is my first time writing a polyamorous relationship... I’m still learning.

So here we go. Reader is in a Polyamorous relationship with Emily Prentiss and Tara Lewis. Tara Lewis is depicted as non-binary in this fic because that is what they live rent-free in my mind as. (If I ever mess up the pronouns please let me know. I briefly read through it but I am not going to claim I fixed all my mistakes.) Reader's partners take her to pride with them and while they are distracted she is confronted by protestors. Both Emily and Tara do their best to help their partner navigate through the subsequent panic attack.

Bingo Prompt: If I Asked You To Stay Would You?  For @sweetprentiss​‘ Emily Prentiss Bingo

Warnings: Protests, Homophobia, Panic Attacks, Disassociation, Asshole Conservatives, General Crowd Anxiety

Characters: Emily Prentiss, Tara Lewis, Reader. Mentions of: Penelope Garica, Spencer Reid

Relationship: Temily x Reader

Word Count: 2413 (I gave you a shortie for my last fic. This one be long for all my own self-indulgent purposes).

---------------------------------------

You were decked out in as much pride gear as you could stand as you stood in the street waiting for the parade to start. Your best friend Penelope had wanted to make sure that you were part of the crowd for your first time. You had been reluctant to go knowing that it meant large crowds and lots of people staring. It would mean your sexuality and your relationship were coming to the forefront of people’s minds. Not that you weren’t proud you were gay and in a loving polyamorous relationship. It was just nerve-wracking knowing that so many strange people would be able to see the most private part of your life and be able to do whatever they wanted with that information.

You had seen all of the protests that had gone on in years past as you laid curled up on your couch and the thought of one of those happening now terrified you. But after a year of spending time with your amazing partner and girlfriend, you wanted to be able to experience what the hype was about. However, as you stood pacing from foot to foot waiting for the parade to start you began to wonder how long this day would last. Emily grabbed your hand as you looked around you for the tenth time and placed a gentle kiss on your lips.

“You are looking around more than Tara and I do at a crime scene. You sure that you are okay being here?” Emily asked trying to read your face underneath your sunglasses, “We can leave and just celebrate pride cuddled in our bed.”

You shook your head not wanting to spoil any of the fun, “I want to be here Em. This is Tara’s first time walking with their theater group. Pen has been bugging them to do it for years. I want to be a part of this.”

“Good because I got you a flag!” Tara said bonding over to you.

They extended a black, red, and blue flag with a large golden Pi symbol out towards you. It was the polyamorous flag that you had been wanting for months now. You smiled taking the gift from your partner in your hands. You had never thought in your entire life that you would be in this loving relationship. Let alone one with two beautiful, handsome, badass FBI agents. So as Emily offered to place it around you like a cape you couldn’t help but smile and lean in to kiss each of the amazing humans for a moment. When the flag was finally secured Tara insisted on a photo. Penelope immediately accepted the offer to be camera woman and snapped a photo of Em and Tara placing a kiss on either one of your cheeks.

When the mini photo soot was done Tara, Em, and Pen all got called away by Spencer who was in a different lane of the parade. Emily promised they would be right back and the three rushed off to see their friend. As they stepped away you were immediately confronted by a man shoving a bible in your face.

“You are a sinner you know that! Kissing one woman is a crime. But two?? You are going to rot for your sins,” He spewed causing his spit to hit your arm.

“One of my partners is non-binary,” You tried to explain taking a step away from the man, “So I believe you are already mistaken in your logic.”

“Can’t make up her mind I see? Just like she can’t make her mind about you. Keeping you around like a piece of meat to have when her other sinner gets boring. You are nothing you little girl. Nothing to them.”

You couldn’t even respond any more as you slunk further into the alley behind you. You knew that he was merely a horrible bitter person but all those words he said were things you had thought before. As his friends began to swarm around him they attempted to corner you in. Just as your back hit the wall of a building two drag queens stepped in front of you holding up their flag headpieces to shield you from the men. They tried to drown out the hateful words by talking to you but you merely nodded and pressed yourself further into the wall.

A couple of moments later you could hear Em’s voice ring throughout the alleyway and the street. She was screaming you weren’t sure exactly what but you could tell she was pissed. As the loud noises continued Tara slipped past the drag queens taking you into their arms. You wrapped yourself closely to them trying your best not to let the flood of tears hidden behind your sunglasses find their escape. 

“Your partner is sure showing those protestors who is the boss here,” One of the drag queens joked.

Tara smiled and nodded, “She knows how to defend us well. Thank you for taking care of my sweet girl.”

“Anything for you darling,” The other one nodded, “We protect our own here.”

-----------------------------------------

The rest of the parade went off without a hitch as Emily and Tara stayed by your side. They held your hands the entire time and for a moment you forgot all about what that awful man had said to you. You were loved by two of the most important people in your world and that is all that mattered. But as you got behind the secured gates of the event you could still see his sign glaring at you. The more you saw it the further you slunk into your shell. Laughing when appropriate and smiling when looked at yet the feeling inside your stomach was empty. This went on for hours until the group decided it was time to leave.

“If I asked you to stay would you?” Emily said gently holding your hand, “Tara can drive Penelope home, and then you can just stay here with me till they get back.”

You shook your head no placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, “I need to go Em. It will help clear my head.”

Emily wanted to protest but she knew there was no way she was going to change your mind. She simply gave your hand another squeeze before she watched you walk towards Penelope. Pen could tell that you were a little off today but she chucked it up to your hatred of large crowds. However, Em knew that it was more than just the people that were clouding up your mind. She was worried for you. 

“You have to let them go babe. You know when she gets this way pushing her to do what we want only makes it worse,” Tara said wrapping her arms around her wife.

“But what we want her to do always helps her out in the long run!” 

Tara laughed kissing Em’s temple, “But we have to let her find that out in her own time and own way. So let’s head home and when she needs us she will call us.”

Emily groaned but still took Tara’s outstretched hand. She didn’t like waiting for you to figure things out on your own. She wanted to be the one to lead you along the way and make sure no one ever laid a hand on her precious girlfriend. Emily guessed in that sense she had failed you today. Sure the protestors didn’t get close enough to touch you physically. But they had shattered your hopeful outlook and their words had closed you off within your shell. She should have picked up on the warning signs sooner. Stayed with you no matter what. She should have just known better. 

------------------------------------------

You had successfully dropped Penelope off at her home without much of an incident. She had talked most of the way trying to get your mind of everything that was going on. It had helped for a while and you could almost feel the sadness start to peel away from you. However, on your drive home to your shared apartment, a song came on your playlist that sent you back to square one. This song always made you cry when it came on and you had promised yourself you would take it off but you never remembered. Every time you went to do it something distracted you and the thought slipped away. 

Now as the sad melody spilled through the speaker every thread you had been trying to hold together completely unraveled. You hunched over your steering wheel waiting for the light to turn green tears cascading down your face. Your breath came in short gasps threatening to stop altogether. As you turned the car your fingers began to rapidly tap the steering wheel. You tried desperately for a couple of moments to keep going determined that you could make it home. Yet the tears kept coming and you could almost feel your throat beginning to close sealing the opportunity to talk yourself through it. You knew what would come next your tapping would come to a stop and then you wouldn’t be able to move anymore. You would be frozen in fear and stuck there until someone drew you back into the real world.

So you pulled into an office building complex finding the nearest parking spot. You were working against a ticking clock and you had to reach out to your partners before it expired. In a group chat Emily had affectionately titled My Loves you typed the only text that you could get out: SOS. Not okay. Parked. 

You watched as the blue line inched across the screen and then sent. The moment it did your fingers gave out and the phone clattered to the floor. You pulled your knees to your chest and buried your head inside them. Waiting for the next step in your anxiety attack; the shaking.

---------------------------------

Emily’s phone had been set on full volume ever since you had climbed in your car. She was constantly checking your location to make sure nothing had happened. Tara would never admit it but they had checked themselves once or twice when Emily wasn’t looking. Emily and Tara had just completely undressed from pride and into their comfy around-the-house clothes when the text pinged on their phones. Without a second thought, Tara grabbed their car keys and rushed for the door. Emily followed closely behind shoving the spare key to your car in her pocket and then hopped into the passenger seat.

As they drove Tara’s guilt began to rise and they gripped their hands around the steering wheel. Emily gently placed her hand on their thigh, “Y/N is going to be fine babe.”

“No! She isn’t. She is probably halfway through a panic attack and you know how bad it gets. We should have gone with her. I shouldn’t have tried to stop you. This whole thing has gone horribly wrong.”

“Tara, my love,” Em soothed, “You were right when you told me earlier that we couldn’t stop her. Y/N is strong-willed and stubborn. That is why we both love her so much. She did the best she could and now she needs our help. We can do this.”

Tara nodded and then pointed towards your parked car. As they pulled up next to it they peered inside the window looking at your ball-shaped form. Tara suppressed their tears as they turned off the car, “We are past the shaking but we still might be able to coax them out of it. Did you bring the spare key?”

Emily nodded unlocking the door and then slipping into the passenger seat. Tara opened the driver’s side door slowly and posted themselves into the open space. Emily began calling out to you repeating your name, nicknames, who was in the car, anything to try and get you to hear what was going on. It took about five minutes but finally, you heard her voice and you gently lifted your head up. 

“There is our beautiful sweetheart. Remember Tara is in the doorway behind you so don’t get alarmed. It’s just us,” Emily consoled, “Can I touch you?”

You went to speak but no words came out. You so desperately wanted to speak but there was nothing you could do. You couldn’t even move your head to shake yes or no. Your eyes grew with fear as you continued to look at your girlfriend.

“It’s okay Y/N, don’t try to force it. Just do one long blink for no and two for yes.”

You responded with two long blinks and Em gently placed her hand against your back Tara doing the same. It took a couple of minutes but you finally warmed up to their touch and your limbs began to unravel. When you finally could move Tara leaned down and gently took you into their arms. Em opened the back door of their car and letting Tara slide both of you inside. Once you both were settled Tara placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. You laid your head on their chest and fluttered your eyes closed. 

When you got home Tara lifted you into the bedroom and laid you gently down onto the covers. You watched as Em and Tara moved to grab anything and everything that you may need. All of your pride gear was taken off, your comfort show turned on the TV, and a weighted blanket placed on top of you. Once you were more adjusted Emily and Tara curled against you placing kisses on your forehead and cheeks.

Finally, you were able to speak again but your voice came out barely above a whisper, “Are you mad at me?”

“Oh baby,” Emily said hugging you close, “Why would we be mad at you?”

“Because I had a panic attack and should have just let you take care of me,” You said twiddling your fingers together.

Tara placed their hand in yours stopping the anxious movements, “Darling, of course not. You did your best and when you needed our help you did the appropriate thing and got us to help. That is what matters.”

“I promise Y/N, Tara and I love you more than anything in this entire world. Nothing will ever change that.”

Your partners placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head at the same time as you nodded. A couple of moments passed before you were able to drift off to sleep your head placed on Emily’s chest and your hand entangled in Tara’s.

Find the magazine here

Triggerwarnings: outdated language, aids epidemic metioned, faul language, homophobia mentioned

Interview from 1995 in which Billie Joe Armstrong talks all things queer including his own sexuality and the band opening for them: Pansy Division - in the lgbt+ magazine The Advocate Jan 24th 1995

For the “not all censorship is bad” and anti-ao3 peeps, please read these screenshots about what sanitizing of the internet looks like. It always, always starts with “the undesirables,” and if you’re lucky or living in a good country that probably isn’t you right now. But there’s always fundamentalism and extremism behind these attempts, and eventually they will target you.

In this case, BTS (a Korean boyband) and their fans are being targeted by homophobic, sexist, religious extremists who want to sanitize the internet.

And government officials in one noteable case.

Several of the Bangladeshi fans (female) have been physically harassed and attacked in the past few days, by men, for their choice in music, because apparently BTS is “promoting homosexuality and atheism.”

After a cyber group with the mission to “clean cyberspace” began a targeted campaign to delete fan accounts. And publically admitted it.

Weird how those things feed into each other, huh? Strange how assholes feel emboldened by assholes- no matter the geographical location. Strange how “cleaning the internet” becomes targeting the gays and the non-believers before targeting women… Strange how people who have been around longer than you keep warning that this is the way things go.

Look, I get it, I really was exposed to things I shouldn’t have been. Both online and in real life. And I can see how those things messed me up. It took years of therapy but I can see it now.

But I’m not going to act like reading nsfw fan fiction on the internet was worse for me than reading mature books or finding my brother’s (physical) porn stash. Did it mess me up? Sure.

Did it mess me up more than food scarcity, undiagnosed learning and developmental disorders, rampant homophobia, corrective rape, and other forms of abuse and systemic oppression? No.

Have I lived though “purification” phases both IRL and online? Yes.

A lot of Millennials had to read Harry Potter under the covers, in secret, because of the “real sorcery” and “inherent danger of magic.” Or at least I think that’s what the moral brigade said to our parents before our books were torn from our hands and we were forbidden from entering our favorite world.

No one in my school was allowed to watch Pokémon because… demons? I think?? Either way, it was terrible and teaching us something horrific and we would soon all be worshipping the devil or whatever the moral police convinced our parents of.

Also, my mom had to read Lord of the Rings in secret because… “magic.” Keep in mind this censorship was done by the Apartheid government. Weird how they didn’t want a story about the difference even the smallest, most unassuming of all mythical creatures could make in the vanquishing of an oppressive overlord… and how people who may have cultural differences should work together… But! I’m sure it was the magic. Really./s

So yes, I can admit that unfettered internet access is bad for children. Porn? Bad for children. I don’t think anyone is saying that that’s okay.

But this is what internet censorship looks like. Homophobia. Sexism. Real life people fearing for their real life safety.

We’re not being facetious about censorship because we’ve experienced it.

And hey, maybe if I had been allowed to read Harry Potter and watch Pokémon I wouldn’t have been smuggling Dean Koontz and Stephen King novels out of the library instead. Maybe I wouldn’t have moved online, desperate for the fan fiction which would allow me to spend time in my favourite world and come across the age-inappropriate stuff (which, to be fair, was hard to tag back in the day).

Maybe I wouldn’t have read some truly terrible gay porn which definitely was not a good representation of gay relationships.

Maybe I wouldn’t have realized that… maybe gay people existed? And could have coffee-shop meet cutes and steamy sex? And sometimes women could do that too? Maybe I wasn’t… completely broken?

Yes, this was back in the day when searching “gay” on your library’s computer would be met with all the red flags and a disapproving librarian who would probably tell your parents. But the words “slash” and “lemon”? Well, that was just me looking up things for my homework! Nothing weird here.

And before you say “That wasn’t my experience!” This was South Africa. In the 00s. Hell, even now, in the 20s. There was no other computer access, and I only got that much access because I was on a scholarship to a very fancy school. The other kids who grew up in my area didn’t have that privilege.

Was this a fucked up way to learn and explore my sexuality? Of course. I don’t want that to be how my kids do it. But do I think those loop holes are better than nothing for kids in similar situations? Yes. Do those situations still exist in my country? Yes.

So yes, I can admit to the harm consuming age-inappropriate content did to me and still be anti-censorship, because they are not mutually exclusive.

I’m pro-age appropriate content. I’m definitely pro-tagging.

But I’ll never be pro-censorship because it’s never *actually* about the children.

@askaceattorney

I believe you wanted proof that you were discriminatory? This is not what an LBGTQ ally does. It's no different than heterosexual romance. It's not hard.

I can understand not leaning into shipping, it helps keep close to canon. But this was an OC. With Aura Blackquill, who is as close to a canonical wlw that we have ever gotten. It is not a stretch whatsoever to presume her to be interested in women. It i s, however, a stretch to say this isn't discrimination. Why is same sex attraction a "divisive" topic here and opposite sex flirtation is not? Why is it not divisive to pretend to be Simon Blackquill's child when we know nothing about his canonical sexuality? Why is it not divisive to imply Narumayo and portray Pearl wanting them to be together, despite the controversy of the ship? You're running out of excuses.

@askaacallout (If you don't want to be tagged, let me know and I will remove you immediately)

Tw/Cw: f slur, a terf, transphobia, hate.

Guess who just got their first hate comment in their inbox :)

Just a little reminder if I haven't made it clear enough, get TF off my blog if you're a terf and transphobic in any way, shape, or form you're not welcome here. My trans siblings are valid and always have been and always will be.

I want my blog to be a save place not only for me but for others as well, so if you're going to be a transphobic, homophobic, racist piece of shit then I don't want you here.

For those confused the person that sent this is a terf and called me the f slur and a misogynist for reblogging this post right here -

I'm not going to tolerate this kind of hate on my blog which I use as a coping mechanism for my mental health.

Screw Off .