“Ich bin in den Wald gegangen, um nicht die ganze Zeit dran denken zu müssen, was für 'n scheiß Hunger ich hab.”

When I was getting my diagnosis, my psychiatrist told me right after giving me my prescription that I need to consider eating food a part of my medication, and that flipped a switch in my brain that oh. Maybe willingly starving myself and eating only one meal a day isn't healthy.

Glad to hear you’re alright! Everything going okay?

lol hi thank u! i had to get an organ removed because it was making rocks/stones like an oyster and almost killed me lol. still working on feeling better but ill be alright i refuse to perish because my body went full oyster mode

2 comic wips

TW: Discussion about Roman’s possible ED

Something that I think doesn’t get talked about very much is everyone asking/commenting on Roman’s condition pre-pilot/the pilot.

Like we know that he was out of the company as things weren’t working out at the studio.

But they are also commenting on his appearance, saying he looks fantastic. Now this could just be Logan being polite as he’s not seen Roman in a while, but he hasn’t seen Shiv or Connor either and doesn’t comment on their appearance. And he never brings up appearance later on.

I have a theory that it was more than just Roman being a bad fit and maybe he had a breakdown or even possibly a bad period with his body issues which the show alludes to at other points

I have a theory that it was more than just Roman being a bad fit and maybe he had a breakdown or even possibly a bad period with his body issues which the show alludes to at other points

And also the way Roman kind of shows himself off after Logan compliments him

Almost like “Yeah Dad look at me now, I’m doing great”

But as he gets roped into the company again, scenes suggest that not everything is okay

I have brought to you headcanons for Chuuya, Atsushi, and Dazai!

WARNING: These headcanons are about eating disorders and unhealthy relationships with food in general. I am not a professional and have not had any ED's myself, so these headcanons are based solely off of my research and conversations I've had with loved ones who have experienced them. Please seek professional help if you struggle with any eating disorders and proceed with caution.

EDIT: added all the tags I forgot

1. Atsushi has Binge Eating Disorder. Since the orphanage restricted his food so much, he eats uncontrollably a lot and tends to starve himself a bit in between binges. Kyouka knows and tries to help Atsushi, but I don't actually think a lot of the ada members know. Atsushi hides it well and Kyouka respects Atsushis wishes to keep it under wraps. Dazai probably thinks something is up but isn't sure, and Ranpo probably knows about it, but neither say anything to avoid making Atsushi uncomfortable or nervous. Atsushi doesn't really eat in front of people either. The only exception is snacking when he gets super bad hunger panes (I'm talking not going days with eating little to nothing, usually that happens because of mission). Even then he will only binge or really eat in general until he's alone.

2. Chuuya used to have ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder). Because of him living in the slums until he was 15, he got used to ignoring hunger panes and limiting how much he was eating because of a lack of food, so when he was accepted into the Port Mafia, he brought those habits with him, and would only eat a certain amount at specific times, usually when he was alone. He probably only ate certain foods like bread, canned products, mostly things that wouldn't expire or would provide a lot of energy without eating much. Koyou, Dazai, and the Flags all helped him work through it so he doesn't have it by the time Canon rolls around and is careful about maintaining a good relationship with food for their sakes. Koyou also checks in on him whenever they meet up.

3. Not really ED related and I've seen this one a lot, but Dazai has days where he has a food aversion because of his depression. The thought of or seeing food makes him sick, or sometimes it's just days where he doesn't feel hungry at all. The days range from being able to eat if its his canned crab, to only drinking a glass or two of whiskey if anything (I imagine that whiskey is a kind of comfort drink to him because of the days where he drank at bar lupin with oda and ango), to refusing to eat and drink anything, whether it's his safe/comfort food or drink or not. Kunikida knows this and it's the main reason he checks in on Dazai to see if he's eaten. I don't think Kunikida is entirely aware of his safe food and drink, though, so if it's one of those days, Kunikida will just take a lot of time gently urging Dazai to eat something. Ranpo also probably knows about it and will sometimes throw a piece of candy Dazais way on those days. The combined efforts usually convince Dazai to eat a bit of canned crab, though it's always alone. Chuuya also knows and will get on Dazai about not eating. He'll also prep some canned crab and keeps a bottle of whiskey at his place just in case. Sure they're not healthy at all but it's better than nothing. The food aversion days were more frequent and worse back when he was still in the PM, and he's gotten better with them now. Though they do still happen every now and then of course.

Does Price ever find out what Canary went through when she was with Makarov? Does she tell him about everything (the lingerie wedding dress, the controlled meals, all of that) or does he only know bits and pieces of it? If not, does she tell anyone else about it?

yes by the ending of the epilogue he knows pretty much everything that happened while she was with graves and makarov. i don't think she would've told him all at once tho. it would've taken her time to really open up about what she went through, and even then she'd prob only talk about things when it was related to something happening with her currently.

more details under the cut but fair warning it's kinda long

like i think the food thing would come up first after they get back together. canary probably wouldn't bring up graves and makarov controlling her meals and food portions until like price notices she doesn't eat as much when they have dinner together or rudy mentions that she's asked him to make her smaller portions and she still doesn't eat all of it. price would be careful about bringing it up to her, but she starts telling him about them controlling her food and how she still hasn't fully recovered from that, and it would be a big moment of realization for price that her trauma goes a lot deeper than he expected. he'd be pissed and feel so guilty of course, but she would be his priority so he'd only show her understanding and comfort, and he and rudy would help however they could to help her get her appetite back.

she'd probably give him other bits and pieces over the years kinda as she works through them with her therapist too. and i think at some point, she'd invite price to join her for a session or two to talk about their relationship and he'd ask about how to better help with her panic attacks and what he can do to help her feel comfortable in general not just in their relationship. i also think that would lead him to finding his own therapist to work through his guilt about the things he's done to canary, and also to finally work through his guilt about gaz and farah's parents as well. things would be very different from when they were first together, but it would be overall a far healthier and stronger relationship.

she would def have a hard time with interrogations for a while, and would have to depend on one of her ghosts or like ale/ghost/konig to handle them for her. i think it would be a few years before she would ever be able to watch one without immediately thinking of herself in her father's study at makarov's mercy, and even after that first one price would probably comfort her through a panic attack once the whole thing was over.

when kids are brought up, she tells him about her childhood, how her father raised her and used her and pitted her and graves against each other. that would probably be one of the harder conversations for her, and there'd be a lot of complicated feelings about her parents that price doesn't quite get but he'd be there for her and assure that if they ever have kids (which would only happen through an accident because they both agree gaz and farah are enough) she would never turn into her father, and he'd never let anything happen to her.

it would also take a long time for her to tell him about how she got the scars on her hand. i think she'd be hesitant to tell him because they'd be in a good place and she wouldn't want him to feel more guilty, but much like how she explained the scar on her shoulder, she'd eventually tell price in a moment where it was just the two of them. she'd explain everything, about feeling confident on stage for the first time in those five months, about seeing graves with kira for the first time, then seeing price with the blonde, then her breakdown backstage and her smashing the mirror. she'd choke up in the middle of explaining, esp when talking about price and the blonde, and it would be one of the few times price cries in front of her. eventually they talk about the night at the club when she was shot, and she explains how ready she was to end it all right there, and price just fully breaks down. it's a long night of the two of them talking and apologizing and crying and comforting one another, and they're both exhausted the next day but there's a sort of weight lifted off of them at the same time.

i don't think the dress thing would come up until canary's picking out her dress for her and price's wedding and i don't think she'd initially talk to price about it. i think valeria would probably catch onto her anxiety first while they're working to design the dress together, and when asked, canary just kinda word vomits about her other wedding dresses and how much she hated them. valeria would help her through it, hyping her up as much as possible about getting to choose her own dress and how amazing she'll look and how she'll be surrounded by people who wouldn't care if she was covered head to toe as long as she felt safe. she'd say it in her own valeria way obv but it would help canary a lot. and then i think she'd tell price about it later, and he'd, once again, hope and pray that makarov and graves are suffering for eternity for everything they put her through, and do everything he can to reassure her.

other than price, i think her therapist would be the only one to know everything that happened but i think she would talk to gaz, ghost, and keegan the most about what happened to her. gaz would be more like a shoulder for her lean on or vent, her and ghost would bond over their dif traumas and talk about their different coping techniques to help each other out, and keegan would mostly know just because he's her personal bodyguard and is so close to her constantly. like i imagine they'd end up being good friends and she would come to really trust him enough to tell him about her past. i think she'd mention some things to the others - like rudy and alex know about the food, valeria knows about the dresses, farah and roach know about the forced performances and stage anxiety, the ghosts know about her being randomly stolen and dragged to the study, everyone knows about the interrogations, etc.

riley also knows everything because canary talks to him like he's a person anytime he's in the room with her - which is pretty much all the time. and he gets very good at knowing when to lay his head in her lap to ground her when she starts getting overwhelmed.

NEW FIC JUST DROPPED

Tw: This fic deals with EDs, specifically ARFID. Please don’t read if this is a triggering subject matter to you!

Stanford Pines & Eating Disorders

TW for eating disorders. Obviously.

So a while back it occurred to me that it might not be totally out of the question for Ford to have an eating disorder. It's not a headcanon of mine, but after researching a little bit about ED in men, I was surprised just how well it could fit.

Ford talks in the journal about how he "hated physical activity" as a kid but has since developed a diet and exercise regimen that he describes as "rigorous" and "extensive." A very common thing that men will do is starve themselves in conjunction with excessive exercise in an effort to look better/more muscular. I can absolutely see him engaging in that (this possibility, to me, is only further evidenced by the fact that he points out Stan's weight when he comes back to his own dimension) especially to distance himself from the person he was before college. And, perhaps, to at least subconsciously prove that he has some measure of control over things in his life.

(Feeling cold can also be a telltale sign of an eating disorder. I’ve talked in the past about how Ford’s coat and turtleneck could be something he wears for comfort, but it also fits in this context.)

I also read an article about one man’s struggle with an eating disorder in the 70s, and he had this to say:

The one part of the eating disorder that has been the “stickiest” for me is social isolation. The secrecy and privacy I needed to practice my routines and rituals turned out to be the last and hardest symptom to fully unwind. Even with greatly diminished routines around food and exercise, I remained somewhat of a loner and relatively isolated socially.

Six years alone in Gravity Falls - years in which Ford didn’t interact with people to the degree that nobody even noticed when Stanley replaced him - would have made it all too easy. And then thirty years struggling for food in the multiverse… staying in the basement when he gets back.

Of course, nothing I’ve mentioned here is clear “evidence” that Stanford Pines has an eating disorder, but it is a very interesting lens through which to view his character.

It's Hatter time with today's rogue, Jervis Tetch!

Jervis was always interested in Alice in Wonderland from the moment he saw the movie and read it. It was just so fun, and free, and colorful. He would often daydream and loved to craft, especially baking desserts, tailoring, and hat making.

His parent's, however, were not so fond of these frivolous activities. None of this time wasting actions would lead to anything, nor were they befitting of the Tetch name. Anything Jervis expressed an interest in, they almost always shut down, or turned into something that they preferred. Jervis wanted to play the flute? The piano was better suited. Jervis wanted a pet cat? They would make a mess and there's no way he'd be competent enough to take care of them. If Jervis ever wore any of the suits or hats he made, his parents would make him change, and remark on how ridiculous they looked.

Along with all these comments about Jervis as a person, they insulted him physically. Jervis was always a chubby person, and there's nothing wrong with that. He was perfectly healthy, but they made him feel like he wasn't. They cut how much he could eat and made him wear clothes that weren't really big enough. This made Jervis stress about eating at all, and stop eating almost anything at all. Or he'd feel very guilty after eating until his stomach actually felt full.

Not only did Jervis' parents treat him like that when they were present, more often than not, they left Jervis alone to do his homework and practice piano. It's also this behavior that led to Jervis developing his accent, as he got it from watching British programs. But it sounds so convincing that everyone would just assume he traveled to the UK for a while.

School wasn't much better, as Jervis was bullied there for his appearance and lack of mental presence (as in paying attention to what teachers or students were saying - I'm not sure if there's a better term for that). Jervis never ate at school, and was alone when he wasn't being harassed or beat up. Being as he was attending Gotham's school for wealthy families, there was also a sense of elitism and was forced upon him. No matter how talented and intelligent he was, it didn't really matter to him. Jervis also got used to being called "Jarvis" instead. He just stopped correcting them, considering they kept calling him "Jarvis" even when he did.

By the time Jervis is in high school, he'd have pretty much accepted the fate that his parents had assigned to him. Letting his parents showboat him at parties, and tell him what classes and career he should start working towards. If he didn't have to actively participate in a conversation, he'd go back to daydreaming. It was much nicer there. He'd have developed Maladaptive Daydreaming by this point, and he'd only continue to get deeper into his daydreams when he wasn't conversing with other people.

Becoming a neurologist wasn't a job Jervis had dreamt of, but it wasn't the worst, considering the options his parents would approve of. He had the skills to do so, and the brain is quite the fascinating thing, really. Jervis did good work, but it was apparent that his boss, Marcia Cates, did not like him and scrutinized what he got done. This made him anxious, and so he often hid the projects he was truly invested in, his mind control devices being the biggest one.

Jervis's co-workers also had a bad habit of handing off work that they didn't want to do, like papers related to their progress, since they knew he was too nice to refuse. Jervis also had a personal candy dish in his office, which they frequently stole from, often leaving him confused as to how he ate them all so fast.

Of all the people he worked with though, Alice was amazing. She worked the front desk and was very nice. She also enjoyed Alice in Wonderland and so the two were able to bond over that in no time at all.

Another bigger alteration to this version of Alice is that she's autistic, and makes sure that people are aware. Her family loves her very much and accommodate her well, if not a little too overbearing. They meant well, but they ended up sheltering her a lot, so she missed out on learning how to read certain social ques, and they never let her know if anyone even had a passing rude thought about her. To be clear, it's not as if Alice thinks she's untouchable because of this, she just genuinely can't tell when someone is being mean to her, unless it was blatantly stated. Otherwise she'd assume they didn't mean to hurt her feelings. I'm not sure if I'm properly articulating what I mean.

That said, a lot of their co-workers treat Alice and Jervis as strange, although they'd still act nicer to Alice since Jervis is easier to pick on, unfortunately. Because of this though, Alice and Jervis would be good at standing up for one another if someone was rude, and not letting the other talk themselves out of feeling bad about something, just because it seems like it shouldn't bother them. Alice would also have noticed that Jervis rarely ate, whether it was a done of purpose or out of forgetfulness on a given day, and bring him food at lunch.

And in line with BTAS, Jervis starts to develop a crush on Alice. He wouldn't know how else to describe how he felt about her, and based on comments Alice would make about her boyfriend, Billy, he didn't seem like the nicest guy. He wouldn't try and get them to break up, but when Alice comes sobbing to him that they've broken up, Jervis does his best to comfort her.

With Alice no longer in a relationship, Jervis asks her on an outing. Jervis means it as a date, romantically, but Alice assumes it just a regular outing to cheer her up. During their date, it's all going fine until Jervis makes a comment that makes Alice confused, so she asks for clarification.

Oops, they both misunderstood. Jervis would be hurt, but he wouldn't blame Alice for that. The incident still adds to Jervis finally having a breakdown, leading to him deciding to become the Mad Hatter. With his mind control, he can fix things. It doesn't have to stay a mess anymore. Finally, things can be like the Wonderland he's always dreamed of.

-Sarsee

me at my physical rn

med assistant: would you like to have your weight updated today? you don’t have to if you don’t want to

me: *don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it it won’t match the scale at home it will make you feel shitty it will flare up your ED even more for the rest of the week and you already did it today in anticipation of the physical* yeah sure why not

it was 7 pounds different than my scale at home goodbye self esteem it was nice knowing you 🫡

heartstopper s2 has more narrative meat, but it's uncanny how emotionally mature these teens are. it's not just about realism; good drama is all about people making awful decisions despite their intentions. it's why this season was carried by Tao and Elle...and...I'm so sorry...why Nick and Charley were the most boring

so much more drama could've been mined from Tara and Darcy. the surprise birthday party for Tara was awful, let's be real, and I couldn't wait for them to dig into that!!! for Tara to hold resentment, for Darcy to feel guilty but still be trapped by her nearsighted selfishness. they're teenagers ffs!!!! at least their problems didn't end there, but there's still this sense that the writers are anxious to fix everything with a neat little bow as soon as possible. I guess you could say that this is a feel-good show, but how many feel-good shows deal with eating disorders and bullying? it feels more like they're so afraid of doing anything that can be construed as "problematic" and start discourse

hey! i’m a mutual (a little too nervous to come off anon for this one, and if you just know off the bat who i am from my typing style then your discretion is appreciated) and i was wondering if i could request kazuha and heizou with a reader who has problems with eating and body image? that is if you’re not uncomfortable with writing that. if not then feel free to delete this!

*ೃ༄ tw eating disorder and insecurity

a/n: of course I can write this anon! Also I do have a vague idea of who you are but my lips are sealed, also trigger warning for those who are uncomfortable with eating disorder mentions and body image.

gn!reader, poc!reader friendly mwah <3

tw: eating disorder, tw: body image, please dni with this post if you feel uncomfortable with that. Go read some fluff or something <3

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Heizou makes it his job to get you to eat at least once a day. He doesn't like seeing you all upset over how you look, so he flirts with you more than usual to make you feel better. If you don't feel better, then he stops altogether and resorts to physical affection. If it does even bring a chuckle out of you, you best believe he's going to compliment you to no end. You can't get rid of such disorders overnight, but your boyfriend Heizou will do everything in his power to make sure you feel as good about yourself as you can. Mwah <3

Kazuha's heart breaks when he sees you eating too little or eating too much. Why are you doing this to yourself? You are hurting your body! And on the Raiden Shogun's sword he legit almost cries when you look at yourself in the mirror and you start pulling parts of your body and comparing yourself to others. He writes poems about how wonderful you are, choosing his words carefully so he doesn't accidentally hurt you, and how beautiful and perfect you are. Kazuha won't hesitate to tell you outright how he thinks of you and, rest assured, he thinks you're amazing.

I gotta say, the number of times and the way in which Max talks about food and wanting to eat in just the bit of the documentary that's out.... let me put it this way if a friend of mine did that, I'd be worried...

can’t wait for the emotional damage that I’m going to feel when I’ll see Charlie sobbing into Nick’s shoulder saying “I don’t see myself ever getting better” on screen. Heartstopper renewal is the best news I’ve ever heard but my lord I can already see myself on the floor watching Charlie’s ED storyline. Also I’m already gearing up to fight Nick’s brother. I might not have any upper body strength but I have vibes and that’s all that matters. It’s on sight y’all