Danny: Hello, I'm here for my job interview-
Alfred: You're hired.
Danny: But I didn't even say what position I was-
Alfred: You are Danny Fenton, nineteen years old, blood type AB, Libra. You are here to apply for the personal assistant position under Timothy Drake. You have five years of experience as a receptionist and a personal planner and have been unofficially bookkeeper for your parent's company since you were twelve. You dabble in fanfiction, go clubbing at Vortex- the gay club downtown, and have been one of the few people who yelled at people online for "Countdown to Legal Age" of both Master Dick and Master Tim.
Danny: .....I'm a little scared right now.
Alfred: That's to be expected. You will fit right in. Master Tim enjoys the smell of fear on his employees.
Danny: You were in the army, weren't you?
Alfred grinning: I read that your mother's family are also veterans. Your mother grew up in bases; did she not?
Danny nods: Yes, they are. This is like visiting family.
Alfred: With the proper attitude, you may become family in due time!
Danny mentally: Is he....trying to get me to marry Mr. Drake???
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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As much as I love fics where dazai drives like a madman and everyone else in the car ends up with heart problems, I like to think that chuuya is probably unaffected by it. In fact, I think he loves it when dazai drives.
Imagine the pm and ada on a joint mission and it somehow ends in skk and sskk in a car together with dazai driving.
sskk are in the backseat and while Atsushi looks visibly mortified and scared for his life, Akutagawa is more subtle about it. He looks almost normal. Until you really pay attention and notice the clenched knuckles resting on his thighs and his eyes twitching.
Their mentors are completely unaware of their state. Dazai has a stupid grin on his face as he drives, determined to break every traffic law ever and Chuuya has his head out of the window, looking very much like a kid whose parents agreed to get mcdonalds.
"Take the next right!" The mafioso yells and Dazai swerves hard, missing the fire hydrant by an inch and Atsushi swears, swears, his heart stopped for 5 seconds. Chuuya hollers in excitement.
Akutagawa considers breaking the door and jumping out using rashoumon.
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Crowned Prince Shouto who is so very much in love with you, even if it did take a while to come around after the arranged marriage occurred.
Crowned Prince Shouto whose brow creases and eyes twitch every time people in high court mock how plain you are under hushed breaths.
Crowned Prince Shouto who gets absolutely sloshed at a royal banquet to try and drown his anger when he hears a rumor going around that his marriage is unconsummated due to finding you so repulsive before storming off to find you.
Royal Advisor Izuku who rushes off to try and follow, only to hear a shriek coming from your room. When scrambling to investigate if you're okay he finds his master on his knees absolutely devouring your cunt while your receiving chamber door remains open a crack.
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