#transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fairy-switchblade · 4 months

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✅ GOOD reasons why a stone butch might want to transition out of being stone:

having reached a point in personal healing where this feels like the next productive step. Healing very often does not mean leaving stone behind, but for some it can. It’s an extremely personal decision, based on the specifics of the individuals unique circumstances and goals.

having confidence that transitioning out is the right thing for them, and reaching a point where they have the resources and support in place to go about it safely

being stone feels limiting instead of empowering.

Identifying as stone feels like something that you just ‘have to put up with,’ that doesn’t truly reflect how you want to live but was forced on you by life. Feeling that being stone isn’t up to you, and if you could wave a magic wand and make it different, you definitely would.

because being stone is something you learnt to associate with being butch, and you’ve come to feel that it isn’t what you want, but you’re afraid that if you’re not stone then you’re not ‘butch enough’ (you are.)

most important: Because you want to, not anyone else. Thats it tbh.

❌ NOT good reasons for butches to transition out of being stone:

Because your partner has said they’ll leave you if you wont. (The curb. They belong on the curb.)

Because other people in your LGBT community think it’s weird, offensive, odd, etc. (Get better friends.)

Because you know you ultimately want to transition out, but you’re not ready. Ie: You’re rushing yourself into it.

Because you’ve been told abandoning stone is linear to healing (it’s not, and that is a deeply harmful misconception)

Because you’ve been told that you can’t be stone and feel happy and fulfilled. Utter nonsense.

#I saw that apparently we’re not talking about this #Well lets talk about it theres no sense in pretending it doesn’t happen #butch #butch lesbian #Stone #Stone butch #trauma #complex ptsd #advice

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icyg4l · 3 months

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Pick-A-Child Star: Inner Child Messages

In honor of Black History Month, I am continuing the series of highlighting Black icons while prioritizing the spiritual needs of Black Americans. Pick the image that resonates with you most.

Left-to-Right (1-3): Keke Palmer, Aleisha Allen, China Anne McClain

If you chose Pile One, you resonate with the energy of Keke Palmer. As we all know, she is a multi-talented human being. She is a singer-songwriter, actress, dancer, talk show host, podcaster and model. Her name is synonymous with the phrase 'busy bee'. Her infectious personality has followed us through movies and tv shows like True Jackson VP, Scream Queens, Akeelah and the Bee, Nope and much more. She continues to grace the screens with her charismatic nature.

"You're always wondering what you're not, can't you be happy with what you've got?"

When you were younger, you may have watched the tv show, 'How to Rock', starring Cymphonique. The premise of the show is navigating the social castes of high school. I channeled the theme song for this show. You really need to show some more gratitude, man. What's in your imagination is being reflected on the outside world; just enjoy the moment. Your brain is on overload all the time and you really need to rest. On Valentine's Day, you should give yourself some 'me time'. Another message that I get from your inner child is that you need to go play! For some of you, I sense that you're reluctant to let someone into your life when they have good intentions. I think high school plays a big role into why you navigate the world the way that you do. You are not in high school anymore! You are officially responsible for your own shit (that means the emotional trauma too, boo). Your inner child also wants you to know that you should take up some karate/self-defense classes. It is imperative that you learn how to stick up for yourself physically, not just verbally. Lastly, if you have lost a father figure, you should do that thing to honor his legacy such as getting a tattoo of him, getting a portrait painted of him, starting that company and naming it after him. You are your father's offspring, you know?

If you chose pile 2, this means you resonate with the energy of Aleisha Allen. She is most famously known for her roles in the 'Are We There Yet?' film series and School of Rock. Her cheeky portrayal of these characters solidified her as a Black child star icon. After starring in these classic films, she took on smaller roles in 'The Electric Company' and indie films. Since then, she has acquired a Bachelor's degree at Pace University and a Master's degree at Columbia University in Communication Science and Disorders to fulfill a career as a speech pathologist.

“I gets down, I don’t play”

Some of you may be in the midst of choosing a major after being undecided for so long. Some of you may switch majors a lot. Your inner child wants you to choose something that makes them come alive this time. In other words, choose a career path that's not boring to you. You could have ADHD/ADD or some type of learning disability. You need to slow down because you’re inviting some disingenuous energy. Your inner child does not trust the people that are around you. Your light shines too bright to be staying in spaces where you're not celebrated. This made me think of a video of Megan Thee Stallion talking about walking out of rooms where you don't feel comfortable. Do exactly that, my love. Everything will work out just fine if you believe that it will. Your inner child wants you to be as optimistic about this transition as possible. And lastly, you don't have to tolerate anyone's behavior, or quite frankly anything. If you feel like you have to put up with someone's bull, then you need to leave. You guys were quite the sassy kids, weren't you? Now, where did all of that energy go? Why are you dimming yourself down just to appeal to others? It doesn't matter if you're in a corporate meeting or a classroom filled with white people, you speak your mind. You know what's going on, don't be intimidated.

If you chose Pile 3, you resonate with the energy of China Anne McClain. She is known for her roles in Daddy’s Little Girls, A.N.T. Farm, the Descendants series and Black Lightning. Her range in roles highlights her witty, yet dramatic personality, which is the reason for any drawn interest in her. She is also a singer-songwriter who was once in a girl group with her older sisters, Lauryn and Sierra. Since then, she has documented her spiritual journey on social media after quitting acting.

“I’ve got friends on the other side”

This is the pile that I would probably choose. This is the pile of the hoodoos/witches/spiritualists/occultists. Your inner child wants you to know that the spells you’ve been casting have been working. As a child, you may have had some experiences with ghosts/spirits. Nobody believed you but who cares? They’re your friends now. There may be a cousin that you haven’t seen/talked to in a while. Please talk to them! Your inner child misses them so much! It doesn’t matter if you’re not on good terms with them, please go do it. For some reason, you should go play hide and seek. This could also mean that you should prepare for an item of yours to go missing temporarily. It could also mean that you will find out some information that you’ve been searching for. Finally, if you feel like you have nowhere to go, think again! Your inner child wants to go to place where you once frequented. This could be the beach, an arcade or the park. Go have a picnic. Go insert those coins/swipe that card into your favorite apocalypse game. Go dig your toes into the sand! You are going through self-actualization and it is important that you stay grounded. Be prepared to step into uncomfortable positions. Connecting with your inner child is a way to do so. It is essential for your growth as a person.

#law of assumption #manifesting #neville goddard #hoodoo #tarot #tarotreading #astro notes #pick a card #pac reading #pick a pile #divination #pick an image #spirituality #tarot deck #tarotcommunity

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i-got-the-feels · 4 months

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25-21

@chaeyoojung 1

The transition from yellow to blue to show how his one quality he adored also became something that hurt him

My Demon

@dingyuxi 1

My salvation!!!! And his determination and selflessness to save her

Vigilante

@chaeyoojung 1

I already told you and will tell you again and again that I adore this set. His entire character arc. How he chooses to be vigilante is seen sooo well here.

Castaway Diva

@khaoray 1

This is beautiful!!! Their dreams are fulfilled. This is such a happy edit AAAH my heart

See You In My 19th Life

@dingyuxi 1

Something about her selflessness to die for him. Something about how he fiercely remembers and protects her memory. I love how that is shown so well in this set.

@liveasbutterflies 1

I cried in the scene. I cried after seeing this set. She was loved so loved by her mom.

Daily Dose Of Sunshine

@moonlightsdream 1

I adore how your chose their beach and bustop for this dialogue set.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo

@kdramaladies 1

Everytime I hear this dialogue and see this set I cry. The color combination of b/w and golden is so beautiful.

@sjoongki 1

This is one of those edits that will forever affect me. Their shilloutes! Amazing job love ittt.

Alchemy of Souls

@kdramaladies 1

This was the set that made me watch the show. It's beauty, yes. Also it manged to make me feel curious about her.

@kalena-henden 1

The journey! The symbolism! Beautiful set.

@seawherethesunsets 1

The gif of him gently kissing her eyes! Beautiful!!

@liveasbutterflies 1

I love how this set has shown naksus journey.

Little Women

@deokmis 1

A show edit. A show based on a book. And the said books quotes are combined with tv show adaption characters. My nerdy heart is swinging. And beautiful quotes are choose with characters.

Flower of Evil

@deokmis 1

Will I reach a drama where this quote doesn't wreck me? No. The gif with "makes my demons go away" Insaneeeeeee

The Eighth Sense

@dramaism 1

The journey!!! I am a Sucker for these edits. And seeing them get together at the beach casually without any grand declarations was soooo them. And of course the consequences later. That's when the grand declarations come in. Something about how things are simple when it's just the without the involvement of the world.

The Glory

@deokmis 1 2 3

1) Take me to church + them?? The way he knew she intended to use him and he let her!!! Perfect choice for them and perfect selection of scenes!

2) The fact that Jae joon died not knowing who his killer is because he is color blind. But we know!! We know how he killed him so that ye seol will be safe. Uff. Isolating the red to bring out the detail? Amazing

3) Death is my hand + the tattoo gif!! No thoughts. Head empty.

@smittenskitten 1

Isolating the green color!! The talent. They way it celebrates an important arc of the show

Beyond Evil

@khaotunqs 1

The yellow with blank and white!! Beautiful. I didn't like to be touched because I craved it too much!!

@magicaldreamfox1 1

The scene he arrests him, always makes me cry. And the words being "how often will you repent" uffff

@l-tyrell 1

He did everything because of his love, his guilt, his regret. It's gorgeous set. Also gotta listen every hozier song now because I believe it goes perfectly with the tone of this show

@ladyverdance 1

Lee dongsik was a ghost after all the deaths he survived. He was only kept alive by his grief, guilt and love for people he lost. His purpose to avenge them. Beautiful set

Summer Strike

@chinzillas 1

The words+ scene you have chosen so well about how she felt trapped in the daily drudgery of life. And how he chooses to break free. Beautiful!!

The Devil Judge

@gusucloud 1

The motif of fallen angel. Something something devil was an angel before he fell. Love the coloring with golden hues

@natahjikio 1

Was she evil? Yes. Was she a surviour and a badass? Yes. Adore how you did justice to all sides of her in this set

@yilinglaozu 1 2 3

1) he knows gaon is righteous and idealistic. Having him in his life will only hurt them both. He knows Yohan is too hurt and disillusioned to believe in a fair world. He knows they will only hurt each other. Yet they simultaneously hurt and heal each other

2) shut up. Yohan was all alone until he had gaon. Good lord no words.

3) gaon getting to see the real Yohan. Beneath the confident indifferent Yohan. Him willing to change himself and his world views because what is world without Yohan? Beautifully bought out in this set

@spicyvampire 1

The he loves you too words with them saying goodbye!! Tan give me a break

Things to note

These include edits that I found in 2023.

These include edits that gave me the feels.

Thank you for your art. They make the experience of watching the show all the more fun. It helps in appreciating the characters. It helps me see them in new light.

Looking forward to see more of art from amazing artists on here.

To, people I didn't tag - tumblr tagging limit sucks. Your art is beautiful simply because it's made. You made it with a feeling and that in itself is beautiful.

Also, the tag is #becauseigtf in case yall wanna tag me in future :)

#2023 wrap up #thank you artists

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abyssleaves · 10 months

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Why I'll Be Remaining in the Lurking For Love Community

Ok.

Honestly, I really don't want to make this.

I'm way too old for fandom drama, and I don't need to be making myself a target. My gut is telling me that it's a bad idea to get involved, and I'm inviting trouble for myself by posting this.

But the most recent post against Tom is just ridiculous and I can't not speak my piece.

I'm not linking to it or reblogging it because I don't want to send hate anyone's way, and honestly because I'm going to block them as soon as this is posted. You can read mine and theirs for yourself and decide what you think.

As far as the “anti-Latino” posts that Tom liked, I can't speak to whether they do damage, or what Tom’s views actually are. I am not Latino, and I'm not Tom. It's not my place. But I will say I was aware of those posts long before I saw that “callout” post, and it's because multiple Latino artists I follow liked and retweeted them. At the time, I was given to understand that they were satirizing the fact that both were styles of stereotypes, but one was acceptable while the other was not, despite both being bad. I can't say, based on just those tweets, that I see any anti-Latino sentiment in Tom. I'm willing to admit that my knowledge on that front isn't bomb-proof.

The second point, well... I'm sorry to the friend that feels used. They're entitled to be hurt. And I will readily admit that I'm only able to respond to the info within that post. Maybe there IS more to it.

But I don't think that Tom ceasing contact over the hormones is surprising at all, from a mental health standpoint. Put yourself in his shoes: you're a trans person in US, which is its own struggle, and you've reached your mid/early 20s without being able to attain gender-affirming care. Now someone years younger than you just got the thing you want more than anything else. Sure, you might be happy for them. But that is also going to hurt, horribly. You really have three options:

1) stay friends and smother the bitterness/possible resentment. That will either end up ruining your mental health, or coming out and ruining the friendship anyway.

2) Ask your friend not to tell you/post about their transition. That makes it about you and also ruins something that should make them happy.

3) Distance yourself.

Maybe he should have spoken more directly with you about his feelings, granted. But, Tom has not been shy about the fact that he struggles with his mental health. None of us handle every situation well. As far as his occasional venting, I would think, if you WERE his friend, you might have some compassion, and either cease contact if the friendship is not fulfilling, or accept his sincere, well-written apology (Which are the ONLY words straight from Tom’s mouth on the entire fucking post).

Instead, you got the apology from him, and then shared a bunch of gossip between you and another friend, and outed your interpretations of his vent sessions to the world. That's not exactly classy, posting about how he sought people he felt safe with during a time when a big chunk of the community he built is telling him to do horrible things to himself.

I want to make it clear that I don't agree with all of Tom’s views as expressed on his initial explanation post. Again, many of them are issues that I don't feel are my place to get involved in, and therefore I stayed quiet at the time.

I'm aware that the justified and intense hurt felt by people in those communities can mean that even differing opinions feel like a slap in the face. You have every right to see Tom’s views as hurtful and choose to leave, and/or make a separate community for support. I don't blame people who are in those communities for doing so. This post is aimed at the obsessed minority that won't leave the tag/remaining fans/Tom alone.

All of the above being said, the reaction to Tom’s post is the most “touch grass” thing I have ever seen.

Tom liking one or two comics from a dark-humor comic artist so widespread on the internet that I didn't even know he had an actual page, or anything about him as a person (something Tom also stated) = Tom is a Nazi sympathizer.

Tom saying “I don't care for neopronouns, but I won't attack you for using them and will respect what everyone wants to be called” = Tom is a monstrous bigot.

The racism accusation has me especially 💀. All because he liked a post about help from an unexpected source and that we should be kinder to each other.

How on earth are you going to tell a POC that he doesn't know what racism is because he’s NOT THE RIGHT KIND OF POC? Do you hear yourself?

(FWIW, I also don't agree with kink at pride. Sorry. LGBTQ+ people are not "narsty little freaks"--yeah I SAW that post--they're people. They can be kinky, they can be vanilla, whatever. Kink has nothing to do with your orientation, and therefore it isn't part of Pride. Also, my guys, if you're having public sex/being nude at pride for kink reasons, then you're not part of the healthy kink community: safe, sane, and CONSENSUAL. Nobody around you consented to that. Similarly, while I feel that sex education for minors should be normalized in order to give them better tools to tell when they're being groomed, seeing strangers with no pants on is NOT education, that's involving minors in your fetish. And that's fucking gross. )

The LGBTQ+ community in the US is in a lot of trouble right now, and we have a very bad habit of eating our own. We divide and subdivide and allow ourselves to be carved up by a united conservative front.

We do not allow for differing levels of leftist beliefs, and we constantly accuse each other of being not POC/leftists/queer enough, or being the wrong kind, or using a term for ourselves that some other individuals don't like. A great deal of the bullying leveled against him is justified by others saying that he's choosing to support a party that will turn on him and cause him and others like him harm.

Well, to be honest, the only community I see doing that right now is this one.

The amount of disingenuous “OMG, just FYI everyone to everyone hurt by [situation], I’M not transphobic/a bigot, you're all welcome here 😌” posts from people, who did not read his post, did not link to or quote his post. Disgusting. You know very well that nothing in his explanation or in his actions throughout his time in the community pointed to any abuse ON HIS PART towards trans people, non-binary people, people of the Jewish faith, or POC. You're virtue signaling, you're putting lambs blood above your door to keep the baying mob away.

This is insane. When did differing opinions turn into this? You don't have to agree with Tom’s views on anything. You're welcome to not follow his accounts, not like his art, not buy his game. If you feel that his opinions are too severely different from yours, you should be allowed to leave the fandom without people telling you that you should do bad things to yourself because your opinions don't match theirs (sound familiar?).

But…please. Can we stop with this awful parasocial obsession with his personal page? You can't lie to yourself and call it anything other than literal stalking. It's creepy as hell, and it reflects more on you than on him, in the long run. People might agree with your outrage, but deep down, they're afraid of being the next target, and they stay quiet out of fear that you'll stalk them next and send a mob hurling abuse their way.

To Tom, I'm sorry that this happened to you. You didn't deserve anything even close to this level of vitriol and abuse. You started from scratch and created a character and story that I feel was something truly unique. You reached an incredible number of people's hearts with Lurking for Love and Jacob, and no matter what happens from here with both of them, you deserve to feel proud of that. I hope that you are ok. Being a public figure on the internet doesn't mean you don't have a right to private opinions or even just general privacy.

I'm not tagging any characters in this. I'm only tagging the game because I hope other fans get to see that they're not alone. I don't believe the tags should be polluted this way. If you have to discuss a creator, it should be in his tag and not in a fandom space.

I'm aware that there will be deliberate bad-faith readings of this, or nitpicking of things I didn't cover. Whoever wants to, go ahead and respond, but I've said what I came to say, and I have nothing more to add. My inbox is closed and I love the block button.

#lurking for love #lfl game #carnivorekitty

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idyllicbarb · 1 year

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ashanti’s right, you’re foolish.

never would you ever, let a man hurt you again, so when the man you’ve only ever truly loved decides to play dumb, you lay the cards out flat or so you think.

warnings: angst, cursing

You hear your front door open and close, sighing quietly you continue to type on your laptop. You already knew who entered your house, the man who has constantly had your heart since you two have been kids, Joe Burrow. Sophomore homecoming was when you finally decided to be honest about your feelings towards him. It led to you guys dating for years and you two becoming parents. Now it was like you couldn’t even stand to be near him.

You and Joe broke up during his transition into the NFL world, him claiming that he needed peace of my mind, but will continue to be there for you and y’all’s son. Joe had also promised you that once he was fully settled, that you two would get back together. You believed him, anybody in your situation would, it wasn’t for Joe to lie like this. But he lied and used you bad, he ended up with a new girlfriend two months after you two ended.

Now you constantly have to get reminded of much he played with your heart. The only man you truly ever loved outside of your brothers and dad, broke you. He promised over and over that he would break up with his girlfriend to get back with you and y’all could happily raise your growing family. But that day never came, so you gave up. You gave up on any remaining hope you have in your heart.

Hearing his footsteps get closer to the living room, you wish for your stomach to not be twisting and turning at this very moment. But the man still has this effect on you, after all these years and lies. It made you wanna cry, made you want to beg God to make it stop. Your first love had proven to be a liar in disguise. It disgusted you, but you couldn’t show that no, only for the sake of your baby boy.

Oh how happy Joe was when you told him you were pregnant. He was yelling as much as he could, letting anybody who was near by hear how much joy he had in his body. Sometimes you wish you could travel back to that day, in order to not be reminded of something that could’ve grown and flourished so beautifully. You think to yourself, trying not to let the tears fall down your face in front of Joe.

“Hey, little man sleep?” Joe asks you, standing only a few feet away from where you’re sitting. You nod your head, focused on really nothing, attempting to shoo Joe away so you can’t be forced to look him in the eye.

Joe stares at you a little longer, “What’s your problem?”

You snap your head up staring into his now dark eyes. You wanted to laugh, he’s asking you what’s your problem? Like as if nothing has happened between you two since him being drafted.

“Me? What’s my problem?” You laugh closing your computer and sitting up to fully take in Joe’s appearance. The man standing in front of you didn’t look like the same man who promised you everything would be okay on his draft night.

“Yeah, I mean every time I come over here, you always giving me the silent treatment. I hate that shit, you and I both know that.” Joe reminds you, raising his voice a little bit. You bite the inside of your mouth, maybe you should speak up, yeah you should.

“Nah don’t play dumb. You know exactly what’s my issue. You just don’t want to address the elephant in the room, because you’re the fucking elephant, Joe!” You shout standing up from the couch and walking towards Joe, you may not be nowhere near his height but your daddy always taught you to fear no man.

“Me? I’m the fucking problem? How?” Joe questions, his jaw clenches and you can sense him getting more angry by the second.

“You’ve lied to me, on several occasions Joe! You promised me things that I still haven’t fucking seen, you play with my heart constantly! What happened to the old you, huh?! That NFL and Super Bowl game got you all fucked man.” You rant, walking away from him, attempting to calm yourself down.

“You don’t think I’m trying to fulfill those promises? I’m doing what’s best for our fucking family, does everything I do have to be shown directly in your damn face? Huh?!” Joe responds to your claims, but you’re in the door way of your pantry, too bust trying to find a snack with chocolate. Joe comes up behind you, slamming shut the pantry to gain your attention again.

You turn around looking at Joe as if he had four eyes on him, “What?! What is it that you want, you lying piece of shit? You wanna promise me more lies? Huh? What else do you want me to do, Joe?!”

“I’m many things but I’m not a fucking liar, don’t ever disrespect me like that again.” Joe snaps looking down at you as you smirk at him.

“Or what? Or fucking what Burrow?” You tease with a small laugh leaving your throat, pushing Joe away with all the force left in your body.

He grabs you by your wrist softly, pushing you back into the wall. You attempt to get him off of you but you forgot, he literally is ten times stronger than you. You stare into his eyes with hurt and anger. “Let me go, I need to check on my son!” You scream with tears slowly coming down your face.

“Our son! We made this family together, not you by yourself!” Joe grits, leaning closer towards your face. You let out a loud groan, attempting again to pry Joe off of you but he doesn’t move, not until you start kicking him.

“You know what? Fuck you Burrow! I loved you and I believed every single thing you promised me. Why should I care about how you feel? Once you figure that out, you let me know. Until then, you can get the fuck out my house!” You yell pointing towards your front door.

Joe closes the gap between you two again, making you want to spit on him, “I know you probably hate my guts, but I’m trying everyday, making plans for you and I. Making everything be perfect just for our family. I’m not trying to hurt you.. I can’t keep making you promises. But just know, I’ll permanently come back home to our family, soon. Please don’t give up on me.” Joe pleads before giving you a kiss on the forehead and exiting out your front door.

It takes some time for you to move from the wall to lock the door, your body has been on autopilot since the argument between you and Joe started. Heading up the stairs slowly, you quietly open your son’s door, seeing he’s asleep. You don’t know how, as his parents were downstairs arguing almost fifteen minutes ago. You walk towards his bed and lean down, placing a small kiss on the top of his forehead before quietly walking out and closing the door behind you.

Heading towards your bedroom, you close the door softly right when the tears begin to fall. They continue to fall as you slide down onto your floor. You don’t know if you want to believe that Joe’ll treat you right, only time will tell. But it didn’t matter because your heart would allow Joe back in as many times as he pleases. You hated that, you hated every part of this new reality with Joe.

Peering your eyes over towards your dresser, you see the picture of you and Joe smiling at the camera after he won five prizes for you at the state fair. Pure joy, something you probably won’t get from him for a long time, or for a while, if he’s not lying and is actually serious this time. You don’t care, you’re tired, you’re done fighting this constant battle.

hi! i’ve decided to write fanfic for joe burrow, @balanceingrace & @baddhoe4 are my two inspirations for this writing! i hope you all enjoy this, have a good day!

#joe burrow #joeburrow x reader #joe burrow fan fic #joeburrow fic #joeburrow fanfiction

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beanghostprincess · 5 months

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Dipping in and saying transfem Sanusop is great but also just that transmasc Sanji has just a real special place in my heart. He’d probably join the crew already transitioned, just because I can easily see Zeff just being immediately supportive of his boy, and nobody ever questions Sanjis gender ever. He’s „blackleg“, „pervert“, „lovecook“ Sanji and nothing is ever gonna change that. Enter Sanuso tough and things get more complicated because Sanjis ideas of what makes a man are weird and nonsensical at times and him being a „ladies man“ is something he prided himself in and now he has to come to terms with the fact that: No, most straight men don’t regularly think about what it would be like to be in a fulfilling relationship with another man, no not even to „just see what it’s like“, most straight men don’t get those types of butterfly’s around their best friend. And poor Sanji is having an internal struggle because a weird part inside him feels like this somehow invalidates his gender. Bad times and dysphoria all around. Usopp may actually even already know that Sanji likes him back but doesn’t know how to proceed past this issue. He wants to tell Sanji that he loves him, that he would love for him to be his boyfriend, but nothings worth putting Sanji trough a mental breakdown and the thought that them being together would somehow make Sanji feel like a „false man“ is just horrific to him. In my mind they navigate trough it eventually just because I love fluff, but they have a slow burn type of relationship with lots of two steps forwards one step backwards types of progress.

Oh, I absolutely love this.

I've said it already a couple of times, but even if I'm very fond of transfem Sanji, I think transmasc Sanji works just as well with his character and story. He's so trans that no matter what you like, you're probably going to be right. Unless you think he's cis. Then you're definitely wrong. He's trans in every way possible.

His whole view on women and the fact that he worships them so much would have played, in my opinion, a big role in his gender discovery. He would feel so guilty and just... Wrong rejecting womanhood. Like- If he thinks women are the best thing the world has ever created, then why is it so hard to be one? He would have it rough, honestly, accepting himself. Especially after escaping the Vinsmokes and trying to forget all the things they said about him (and how many of them are related to femininity). But I think everything would get easier with time after getting adopted by Zeff. He transitions and he's finally happy with himself (almost, because he still has to fight every day against his own thoughts and past. But at least he's more comfortable in his own skin, now).

And everything goes well from there. Except when he meets Usopp.

It's not that Sanji thinks being gay means being less of a man or anything. He keeps saying he has nothing against gay people and he's being completely genuine there. But his own view on masculinity and what it means to be a man for him includes being a ladies' man. Liking women. Only women. That, and the fact that men and manhood have brought so much pain to his life, make it really hard for him to accept that he's in love with Usopp. With a man. Besides, he has created this persona- This different personality (slightly different from his own. Just a bit more confident and a bit happier and stronger and everything he thinks he's supposed to be considered a man, including liking girls) to feel like a real man. And he is a real man. He knows this. He just feels like if he doesn't follow the right norms he has established for himself and his own masculinity, everything will fall apart.

So, yeah, he kind of has a whole crisis when he realizes he's in love with Usopp. I love talking about Sanji's internalized homophobia/biphobia because I honestly think it's such an interesting topic... But I don't want to make this too long, so I'll just say that he would have a really hard time trying to accept this. The situation would make him angry at himself and even angrier at his surroundings. It would also make him isolate himself because, of course, he won't ask for help. And if Usopp (his best friend) enters a room, Sanji will get out of there just as quickly. His brain is a mess. My poor boy.

Usopp knows, of course, because it's not hard to tell when Sanji is in love with someone. But of course, he won't say anything until Sanji is ready to say something first, because it's pretty much obvious that he's having a hard time, and it's even more noticeable because he becomes more and more and more annoying when it comes to women now. He tries to overcompensate and reaffirm his gender by acting like the ladies' man he tries to be (it doesn't work). And Usopp doesn't mind waiting for Sanji, even if it takes him years, but he can't bear to see Sanji doing this to himself without doing anything to help him.

Not gonna turn this into a whole fanfic because if you're asking me this you probably know my posts and how long they end up being because I turn them into whole one-shots at this point- I swear I won't this time!! But!!

Just saying that Usopp trying to talk things out with Sanji and Sanji having a whole breakdown + Usopp comforting him and saying that they don't have to rush anything if he doesn't want to, that they can go as slow as Sanji wants. That he would wait forever for Sanji. And Sanji accepting to date him and getting used to being loved and loving in that way... I don't know. It feels like a good way to reach the fluff you were looking for with a bit of angst and slow burn first!!!

#i love trans sanji i don't care what type #and yes i've been projecting on sanji during this whole text that's why it feels personal be glad i t's juts a lil analysis #me when i'm genderfluid and trying to fit the norm all the damn time when i know i don't need to #also constantly feeling like i'm not valid bc i'm pretty feminine #anywayy stop the trauma dumping let's go back to sanuso #i love sanji so damn much and i think usopp would make him feel so loved #T4T Sanuso is so real idc about the combinations they're just trans #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso #transmasc sanji

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heretherebedork · 9 months

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Mmmm, Shu in the doorway as he finally approaches his own feelings through Shin who has never shied away from love or standing up for his relationship.

This contrasting with the way that Minato has separated them due to Shin's jealousy and want to be out about their relationship is very interesting because Shin has never doubted his love while Shu is just starting to realize that he might feel something more for Asuka.

We're making the transition from a queerplatonic relationship that was not fulfilling what Asuka needed but was what Shu thought he wanted into a romantic relationship that they both want as this love is realized.

I am not implying or saying that a queerplatonic relationship is less than romance. By no means. But It is different and these characters trying to face their differences and to face what's changed and what's different and what it means is truly interesting.

Because Asuka has always approached this as a romantic relationship but tried to temper his own love with the knowledge that Shu simply didn't feel that way... while Shu has just been coasting along on Asuka's affection and love because it fulfilled what he needed from their relationship... until it didn't because he saw Asuka supposedly cheating and started to realize that he wanted more.

... This doorway just means a lot to me, okay? Shu is taking the first steps into a change in his identity, realizing he's in love and what that means for him and for his relationship and how it affects him and it's beautiful. Because he is the student to Shin's expertise. We see him through the same doorway, sitting at a desk, Shin in a position of authority.

Again and again we see Shu not using his words because he doesn't know what to say or how to say it or assumes that people will understand him without his spoken participation. Shu always makes the very base assumption that people know what he needs and what he means without having to actually say it.

That's part of why his relationship with Asuka is under so much stress. He only says about half of what he needs to express his feelings and affection and he says even less sometimes because he doesn't know what he's feeling himself.

Third time for this exact trope of someone thinking that the physical manifestation of love is a physical malady with their heart. I love them all.

But also this just explains so much. Even when Shu was showing Asuka affection, it wasn't from a place of romantic love. At least not yet. He hadn't realized that what he felt was love, that he felt more than he'd thought.

Shu came into this expecting a queerplatonic non-romantic relationship on his part and to simply be who he could be to Asuka and assumed that Asuka loving him was just... enough. And now he's realizing that he fell in love and he think that Asuka might have fallen out of love because he thinks he was cheating on him.

My beloved this absolute emotional idiot. I love Shu so much because he doesn't recognize his own emotions. He has no idea and no connection to the idea that he loves Asuka and that's why his heart hurts. He really doesn't know. This is entirely foreign to him.

Shin is so done with everyone else's relationship. His struggles in his own have left him with just nothing. He's so frustrated with these older men who don't seem to know their own feelings.

We need so many more straightforward boys like Shin, y'all.

Oh, Shin, we all love you. The most audacious boy to ever BL. The best beansprout. The boy who loved and loved and loved and never stopped for anything.

Shin getting to express his frustration with the way his relationship with Minato is good here. It's important to know that he loves Minato but he's also hurt by the way Minato acts and treats him sometimes, that for all his love doesn't end he isn't always happy about it. It's just nice how many people Shin has to talk to about his feelings.

Unlike Minato and Asuka.

(That is a whole thing I could talk about, how Shu and Shin both have other people to confide in and manage to communicate with each other while Asuka and Minato tend to end up very trapped in their own heads. They can't even give each other advice because they're caught in their own thoughts. Asuka does have Shin to have some extent but their communication is also rough.)

Shu literally getting smacked with the realization that he loves Asuka. That he absolutely, fully, completely loves him. You know. His boyfriend.

Well, again, I think Shu considered them to be queerplatonic and to realize that you're feeling romantic love when you never considered yourself capable of romantic love is a terrifying concept. To be faced with feelings you never thought you'd have and for someone that you think might have stopped feeling that for you... terrifying.

Shin continues to be a genius and Shu's realization takes a lot for him. I mean, it is in fact huge. I can't be upset with him.

But also I think that this explains a lot of why people struggle with their relationship. @italianpersonwithashippersheart's has left all the best comments in my tags about their struggles with their pairing and I get it (also, omfg, those tags make my day EVERY TIME just FYI). And I think this is a huge component of it. Realizing that Shu didn't know he loved Asuka has colored all his actions in this entire show so far. Shu has genuinely been acting on affection and care but not on romantic love. Because he didn't recognize it as a feeling and because he doesn't even know what it means.

It's a struggle because there is a difference between how you care for someone and how you stay in a relationship with someone when you care for them versus when you romantically love them.

This is also about Shu coming to the realization of what's been happening in their relationship. Of what their relationship is and what it means to him.

This is the perfect halfway mark for the series because the rest has to be about settling with the cheating and the communication and what romantic love means to both of them. We know Asuka has been feeling neglected and lonely in this relationship and now it's Shu's turn to try to act on what he's feeling.

May Shin's direct communication be a blessing to these two. Because Shu and Asuka need to actually talk at some point. Desperately. They need communication. But Asuka is afraid of losing Shu and Shu didn't realize what he felt until it was threatened.

I am already dying for next. Absolutely lost. Absolutely gone. Asuka is so terrified of losing Shu that he can't do anything or act on anything or speak up because he's terrified of losing even the tiniest hints of what he has. And what is Shu going to do? Who's he going to talk to!? I doubt it's Asuka, honestly. But I cannot wait. I love this show so much, y'all.

(Also, the chup chup has been a Thai joke about kissing so many times that I'm a bit surprised to see it in Japan but I love it.)

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old-school-butch · 19 days

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Let me explain how i think so you can answer the question better: Personally i don't think being trans makes you perfectly that sex, like I've seen post surgical images, it's a rough approximation, also i don't think minors should get hormones or surgery. I think some people unfortunately transition when they had other issues like female shame to sort out. It seems like other people feel a gross discomfort towards their bodies and transitioning cured it or at least helped it. I just, with all the back and forth, I really want to support something that will help my friends who are suffering. ------ So if there's research into alternate cures, that's something I would be interested in learning more about. Because I just don't want my friends to suffer. I have a close friend who was born a woman and is mostly attracted to men, but sees transitioning as a way to fix the crippling incongruency he's felt since childhood, he sort of sees it like disease and cure. He helped me thru a lot of stuff like when i first came out. So i really just want to support what will help people.

That’s very admirable anon. There’s not enough kindness in the world so being good to people who’ve been good to you is a wonderful thing.

Having a body is a difficult thing, it seems, for many people. So approach this problem with this frame-setting: they aren’t alone with this problem. Age, ability, size, race, and any number of smaller physical attributes have bedeviled many people over space and time to varying degrees. This is not a special or unique issue, it's a human issue and thus you can learn from other people and their strategies. Much of my critique of the modern medical approach is its ineffectiveness in reducing suffering, and causing harm by trying to treat the wrong thing. Even the more difficult mental illnesses like dysmorphia and dysphoria have been difficult to medically resolve. The most effective strategies have been time, and the acceptance that comes with maturation over time.

Older research, led by scientists and not activists, who study actual outcomes instead of self-reported feelings over longer periods of time find little support for long term improvement in mental health with medical transition. I’ve knew a trans man who passed effectively, had supportive friends and family, jobs that were basically talking about being trans… who still committed suicide. It was my first eye opening realization that maybe this wasn’t the cure-all it was advertised to be. Further research has confirmed this for me - the benefits don't last because the promises are not fulfilled. You can't ever, in the end, be anyone you're not.

Friends with eating disorders who struggled to 'fix' their bodies to conform to their ideas only stabilized their health when they learned to accept their bodies as imperfect, or even unimportant, and focus on other aspects of their existence. With aging, I have found that I'm happier when I stop the search for new wrinkles and accept, with difficulty I'll admit, the loss of strength and poise that comes with age. Acceptance isn't easy - because underneath our fear of looking old is the fear of actually being old, the deeper fears - and truths - of being less desirable, less socially important and ultimately closer to dying. Fussing about grey hairs is just a distraction from these deeper unpleasant truths, but endless rounds of plastic surgery and skin peeling is a self-inflicted torment that pushes the pain down the road, but never resolves it.

Acceptance is not a passive process, it's a long and difficult journey, but still the best odds of success and far less torturous that standing still and feeling helpless in the torrent of unhappiness.

Acceptance is not about feeling suddenly happy about something that's unpleasant. It's still unpleasant, still frightening, but you take courage and face the fear rather than turn your back on it or try to bargain your way around it. It's a curious experience, but real joy can only come after you've tasted grief because grief teaches us that everything is fleeting. True calm follows the moment when you swallow fear and start digesting it, because fear guides us to where we can find purpose.

Acceptance is not a meek process, it's a radical and bold questioning of your thinking. Changing how you think can change the way you feel. This is the miracle of life, to keep changing.

So, how then do the thoughts about her body lead to 'incongruity' exactly? Why does she believe congruity is possible or even necessary? Is she imagining her 50 year old self when she contemplates her path into the future? What freedoms, what futures, what responsibilities change for her when she changes the evidence of her womanhood? How will people treat her differently? How will she treat herself differently? There are far more straight men than gay ones, how does 'being a man' serve her in her quest to find a male partner? And most important, what lies underneath? This is less about looking like a woman than a rejection of physical evidence that she is a woman. How is that going for her? Where could she take her life, if she lived as a woman on her own terms? She changes everything she touches. And everything she touches, changes.

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skeleton-mischief · 1 month

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Ink Sans

Hey, pay attention now! The creator, your savior, is here. He has been waiting for you...

(Headcanons below)

- Official Height: 5'5

- He/They/It

- Follows theism, he must fulfill his duty to the true creators

- Friends with Many AU Sanses, or at least acquainted with them

- The God of Creativity, he is the physical embodiment of motivating artists and creativity to create AU's, AT's, etc

- He has mutual hate but respect for Error

- Easily Forgetful due to his multiple trips through AU's, Timelines, etc

- Very lonely, he has mostly hollow friendships

- Dreams of other versions of him, but he can never find them

- Very touchy, he doesn't care to respect those boundaries and they even push boundaries

- Good friends with Red, somehow

- Talks to himself out of loneliness sometimes

- He envies genuine connections that others have

- Magic smells of paint, magic tastes of skittles

- Brutally honest

- AuDHD

- He likes dogs and cats, any animal really

- Loves to twirl and do tricks with his paintbrush, dances with it

- His paintbrush is extremely light to him, but heavy to others

- Accidently teleports inside Nightmare's goop once and it was fucking terrifying

- Soulless, only Fresh and Error know that he doesn't have an actual soul

- Laughs at inappropriate times, he doesn't know how to react to things sometimes

- Doesn't curse often, but will use 'shit' often

- Highly flexible and acrobatic

- Sometimes interacts with other Sanses but it's strangely off-putting and intense, he has an off putting energy

- Highly devoted to Creators and Fate, scarily loyal and worshipping towards them. He must do what they intend from him, even if that means being truly neutral

- His kindness can be sincere, but it's rare. He has manipulated others with his kindness to further please the Creators, and his kindness often is unsettling

- Incapable of dying, he is the only one that can truly face Error

- His vials are his emotions, and without them he doesn't experience anything. It is unknown how he gets those vials and how they are restocked

- He carries a pair of scissors and uses them sometimes when he's caught in Error's string

- Erratic, unsettling, playful, confident, honest, perceptive, controlling, manipulative, social, self efficient, loud, nosy, individualistic, curious, dedicated, impatient, intelligent, creative, stubborn, and theatrical

- When he drinks his vials, he tends to also have a shift in appearance despite it being subtle. His eyes go to a shade of color his vials are and his expression will shift. Small details like his body language, his form of talking, etc will change

- He grows apathetic, monotonous, and more harsh without his vials. He gets like this near others, his way of even laughing sounding empty as if a husk is mimicking him

- He aims for mistakes and encourages it for creators only because he finds it perfect. They can do no wrong, even if some things are what he dislikes

- He hates when anyone tries to disrupt an AU, often masking it with a positive attitude and forcefully stopping them even if they're dangerous

- He easily can switch between emotions, especially when drinking more than one in a certain order. For example, he can drink a blue vile and then a yellow one, helping him transition between what he feels. The reason he doesn't drink them often near others is because he likes to appear "normal"

- He aims for perfection from others and despises any creator being disrupted, often dragging the issue away. He loves creativity, but that means also disrupting something to make sure his creators are happy

- He always has something slightly off about him, despite being a wonderful actor of sorts. Even when happy, he's just- different

- He hates being called out, especially hates if they're confronted about something he's masking

- He isn't afraid to lie to get his way, it isn't capable of feeling that guilty for long

- They can only be themselves when alone or if he's deeply connected with someone; which is nearly impossible

- He can never deceive Error, even if he tries it sometimes. Error is one of the every few to openly degrade him and in turn Ink finds ways to degrade Error

- A storyteller, he knows almost everything about each AU. He often isn't shy enough to drop lore here and there, watching acutely throughout each form of the multiverse

- He was created as an "adult" so he never had a childhood, but he has a backstory. He can't remember it, but they have drawn themselves without really thinking about it

- It has no defined age, stat, hp, defense, or LV simply due to not having a soul

- They quote a lot of things since he loves obsessively watching shows, AU's, etc

- Due to his lack of fear, he's extremely risky and impulsive. He'll just laugh and jump right in

- He grows fidgety, annoyed, and impatient when things don't go at a pace he's satisfied with

- Even if he's impatient, he's hard to actually piss off. A part of it is because he's so erratic and hard to read

- Stupidly has good balance, it's overall just weird how well he has the balance he has

- Paints and sketches regularly, no form of art is favored over the other

- Often seen with the same outfit, but he loves changing it up at times

- Loves to be in small spaces when needing comfort, often shifting his body in ways to fit inside because it doesn't remind him of the void - where nothing is present

- Hates empty spaces and lacks of creativity

- He's only motivated for what's right for the AU's or himself

- Can be extremely selfish and childish, but often his goals align with "good." He has helped the Bad Guys occasionally though

- It's hard for him to feel pain, since his pain receptors are all fucked up. He can be heavily injured and not realize it or even feel it unless he's worn out and loses/losing a battle against another "God"

- It's hard for him to hate someone, but he can heavily dislike them. If he chose who to hate the most, it would definitely be Error

- He has been childish in worse ways than possible, often helping creators make new AU's despite the cramped space. Sure, the multiverse is beyond humongous, but it only can handle so much before colliding other worlds together and even destroying those worlds. He and Error have overlapping goals, and only rarely will they work together since they're such opposite skeletons

- He loves to mock and mess with Error the most, especially when they battle despite neither one being able to die. Ink can get just as cocky as Error, and in fact loves to provoke Error

- Their vials can only do so much, as they can only temporarily fill in space for an emotion that one with a soul has. It can form in the shape of what's meant to be a soul in the color of the vial, but it's never permanent

- He'll often stare at others for long periods of time, usually in an obvious manner as he looks at them and their soul. He doesn't feel the need to blink, so it can be unsettling

- When his vials give him the illusion of having a soul, he will often cradle it and stare at it for long periods of time

- He never can run out of liquid inside of his vials, but they can break and this leaves him without that emotion until he fixes it through a long process

- He is willing to experience any emotion, as he just wants to feel it. He can optionally not have any at all, but it's rare he chooses that

- Narcotics do not affect him in any way

- Has an obsessed curiosity for humans, who he knows are capable of creating worlds. It's only the authors, the artists, he actively obsesses over

- Does not view creators or players as 'simply' human, but rather beyond gods themselves

- Adores having marker or paint on him

- Has a Doodle Sphere where time is slowed down and no one can reach him

- It struggles trying to find ways social skills work, especially since each universe has it's own standards

- Steals food and other trinkets from universes even if he has no need to eat

- Occasionally speaks French or Latin

- Does not understand gender roles, but they will wear more masculine and androgynous outfits with the occasional fem

- On the aroace spectrum, especially since being a God means that other things are too important

- STRUGGLES reading and writing

Closing Notes: He's so-.....GUAH. I actually didn't care much for them growing up, but I think that they're an interesting character deserving of exploration

#headcanon #undertale au #alternate universe #underverse #utmv #utmv au #ink sans #ink #he is bbg #hes so silly #i want to squish him #throw him like a splat toy #mwah mwah

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seleniangnosis · 2 years

Text

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓪𝓭𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮

Pile order: 1 -> 2 -> 3

Pile one 🤍

Dear pile one it seems that you are right now getting out of a situation that has caused you a lot of stress, pain , agony ( especially in terms of mental health).

This situation might have been caused by untrustworthy people, backstabbers, but you proved yourself to be strong and steadfast whether you feel like it or not , or you have put your trough self confinement due to past situations which hurt you deeply.

You are now ready to enter a new phase of new found strength and fulfillment! Good things are coming and you are encouraged to to look forward no matter what your mind tells you. You won't get an instant reward or gratification, but slowly things will come into place , don't become frustrated if improvement takes time to show up, nothing happens overnight.

The relationship you have with your friends and cherished people in your life will show helpful in anchoring you into the reality of your situation and mentain you on the right track.

The way trough which you can navigate this new phase of your life is by giving yourself and your mind a rest. If you feel like you have to do something all the time in order for change to take place... in this case you'll be quite wrong.

Action is for sure welcomed, but it can also burden your mind and bring you back to where you started, changing your focus from the outside world to your inner world will prove to be tremendously beneficial in dealing with the remains of your struggles. Rest , meditate ( if this is something you already practice) and ponder upon what has brought you here, don't become too impulsive!

Pile 2 ⚔❤

My dear it seems that you are currently blocking your own path and your own success. Theres is a spark of creativity and determination present, but you fear taking a leap of faith and a direct approach. If you've always had a desire to control everything that is happening in your life ... this won't help you now , we can get opportunities for change everytime but they won't stay open forever. Whatever opportunity you're afraid to take, whatever change you're afraid to make, it won't keep you safe. You'll look back to this moment and regret not taking action sooner.

The circumstances will provide you with some help in changing your mentally and viewing your limbo state from a different perspective, you have pondered and analysed the situation for long enough, now it's time to act.

Find your courage, passion and bravery, and redirect your course!

Something that can help you navigate this transition period would be to take a more unorthodox approach. Do it your own way. Have a fresh start , don't let yourself bothered by what others tell you to do. Break the established pattern and dare to let your aptitudes shine !

If what's keeping you stuck is the fear of shocking, being too different, or not making your family proud ( be a disgrace to them ) , you should ponder upon what is making YOU happy, because in the end is your life and you are the one who has to be satisfied with the results!

Have more faith in your uniqueness!

Pile 3 ✨💛

I'm happy for you because whoever chose this one seems to be at a point in life where they feel emotionally stable and counting their blessings, yet you feel like you haven't put enough effort into your life/ actions.

You are a diligent and hardworking person, who is a bit concerned with the amount of accomplishments they have. Even if you might feel like your efforts weren't enough, or they will not prove themselves that helpful, you have to give yourself more credit!

Soon you might be faced with a new decision that might affect the course of your life a bit. A chapter of your life has ended, and you are invited to let go of unnecessary baggage that's hindering your progress. If you recognize having an important lesson to learn lately, then your lesson has been learned and this experience will serve to your future development.

If a new idea or inspiration hits you out of nowhere, do not dismiss them, they might prove to be useful. Other than that , what follows for you is a period of slowing down and rethinking your options.

Be kind to yourself, do not rush and use this time to nurture your creativity, your mental state and do not rush into the action of taking immediate control of your life. Sometimes the best answer comes with time.

If you deem your past experiences to be helpful lessons for others , consider sharing your wisdom with those who are in a similar situation.

#tarot spread #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarot community #tarotcommunity #divination

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saturnalorbit · 3 months

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I read your pinned post (I think that's what it's called) and I just want to say I hope you get a HRT ASAP. Because all trans women deserve the opportunity to start it. But until then you're just as deserving of care, love, and femininity as any other CIS or post HRT woman. I hope you have a lovely day and I'm sorry if this is weird.

thank you for your kind words, it helps a lot. unfortunately i think i'm still a while off being able to medically transition due to my living situation but i'm going to try to get it done as soon as i safely can.

to be clear, i wouldn't say i struggle too much with my self-worth most of the time, and it's definitely not the reason i keep pre-hrt in my bio. i know being pre-hrt doesn't affect my worth in any way.

as i've grown up as a trans girl and especially upon entering college and more mature spaces, i've started to see significantly more people who are getting on, or have already been on hrt for a long time. and i'm very happy for them, but i can't deny that it's hard, it does hurt that it feels like everyone around me is progressing in their transitions and becoming happier and more fulfilled while i'm still here, stagnant, still unable to make progress.

but i know there are others like me out there, who feel like they're not getting anywhere, that feel the same bittersweet feeling whenever they see people getting on hrt, you want to feel happy for them but at the same time you can't help but feel kind of shitty that you haven't made progress yourself.

that's why i keep pre-hrt in my bio. i know there are others going through the same shit i am. and i want you to know that i see you. that you're not going through this alone. i don't see many posts about pre-hrt experiences, but i feel like this is something that i really wanted to hear from someone who's going through the same thing. even when it feels like the whole world is passing you by, when it feels like everyone but you is progressing, you're not alone. we're going to get through this, someday. i fully intend on pushing through this, until one day i come out the other side as the best version of myself i can be. and i want you to, as well. i know how hard it is, but you can do it, and i can do it, and it's going to get so much better for us.

thank you for still being here, and i hope you push through it until you and i can finally have all of the happiness and fulfillment we've deserved to have for so long.

#lgbtq #trans #pre hrt #ask

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comicaurora · 2 years

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Do you find questions about lroe and logistics annoying? How do you draw the line between 'thinking the story is cool and wanting to know how something works' and 'trying to poke holes in the story to feel better about themselves'?

TLDR: It doesn't annoy me, but I do ignore anything that I don't think would produce an interesting answer. There is no line, but I do have thoughts.

I think a lot of media analysis and criticism centers on an invisible variable that is often overlooked, and that variable is "what standard are we holding this story to?"

Media criticism often described as "bad faith" tends to hold stories to standards like real-world physics, shot continuity or other small-scale and potentially irrelevant metrics that have nothing to do with the story's plot, morals, stated goals or overall themes, and will instead - as you put it - poke holes in the story in an apparent attempt to feel smart or score points. This criticism isn't asking how well the story is succeeding at telling itself, it's finding things to complain about by whatever metric is most convenient for that.

This isn't limited to media criticism. In fact, it's the same underlying structure behind almost all forms of bullying. There is nobody perfect enough to be completely uncriticizable, and there is no story that cannot be picked apart with an uncharitable enough angle. If your goal is to pick something or someone apart, you can always find a reason. And a story that's perfect from one angle can be shredded a hundred different ways from a million other angles.

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but one difficulty people encounter when writing any form of representation, for instance, is the existence of opposing stereotypes. If you write a female lead who's demure and gentle, she's playing to a feminine stereotype - that's a criticism point. If you write one who's brash and strong, oopsies, you're tacitly indicating that she can't be a protagonist without ditching her traditionally feminine qualities, thus indicating those qualities are bad! Criticism point. No matter what kind of character you write, you can be criticized for the stereotypes they fulfill and criticized for the stereotypes they defy. There is no way to write a character who cannot be criticized, and it's especially visible for characters in heavily stereotyped demographics.

And there are forms of representation or allegory that work for one thing but are terrible if interpreted as something else, once again producing angles of attack that you can be criticized for. Suppose you have a character whose arc is fundamentally about learning to accept themselves for who they are rather than changing themselves for the approval of others. This can be read as a positive and self-affirming arc for all sorts of identities, but if you reach, you can also read this as advocating against things like transitioning. And on the flip side, if you tell a story about someone changing themselves to be happy, it can be read as a toxic message for people struggling to accept themselves for who they are.

Because of this, it is impossible to write any sort of story that cannot be criticized, and it is unhelpful to act like a story that can be criticized is automatically in some way deficient or morally bad. If you find the right angle, anything can be criticized or deemed problematic in completely legitimate ways. Not enough of this, too much of that, what we got wasn't what I wanted, etc etc.

"Can I find a reason to criticize this" is an unhelpful and often unpleasant mindset. The answer is always yes, but it has the twofold impact of making the permacritic rather unpleasant to talk to (constant negative reinforcement will do that, see the "bullying" thing above) and making it very difficult for the permacritic to actually engage with media in any sort of helpful way. This school of criticism does not ask "what standard should I be holding this media to?" Without controlling for that variable, the criticism is just a lot of complaining.

When criticizing, I think it's very important to maintain focus on that question of the standard you're holding the story to, and the underlying corollary, "what is the story trying to be - and is it succeeding?"

I've seen media criticism that boils down to "this is not the story I wanted it to be." Valuable information, but not a helpful criticism to level at the story itself. Rather than taking the story at face value and judging it on its own merits, it holds it to the standard of a different story. This is where you get things like fix-it fanfics where people change the story to fit what they wanted to see. While I don't have a personal objection to this - fans can do what they want, and if someone wants to see a specific story I think one of the best things they can do is realize that and make that story - I think I'd personally steer clear of it. One of the joys of consuming media is seeing stories I'd never personally be able to think of, and holding all those stories to the standards of my own limited creativity feels like a good way to guarantee that I never grow and improve as a writer.

But if we hold a story to the standards of itself, there's still plenty of criticism to be had! And this is, I think, where valuable criticism lies. If we can figure out what a story is trying to do, we can determine how well it succeeds or fails. If a character is supposed to be overwhelmed with grief but the performance feels shallow and poor, that gives us a solid point of criticism - the story is failing to convince us of its own point, "this character is sad." If a fight scene is supposed to be frenetic and brutal but the editing is so frantic that we can't make out any of the coherent movement, the cinematography is disrupting our ability to buy that this is a serious, perilous fight scene.

This is why I think authorial intent is a very valuable factor in criticism. It isn't the only factor, but it gives us something very solid to measure against. When we're asking "what is the story trying to do?" and we find a comprehensive, clear answer to that, we can follow up with our subjective judgment "how well did it do that, and how and why?" This is the kind of vivisection that tells us how the story is really put together and lets us learn from it.

Without the question "what is the story trying to do," all our criticism is completely unhelpful from an artistic perspective. Does it matter that a scene doesn't conform to the laws of physics? Only if the scene is supposed to conform to the laws of physics! Does it matter if a background prop moves between takes? Only if the prop is important! What lessons can we learn from scattershot complaining that aims to find something wrong with every single frame of a story? We learn nothing, because even if every single "error" was "fixed", this school of criticism could find the exact same number of problems on a second pass. Any artist could tell you that perfection is unattainable and a work can always be criticized. The only people who think "I found something wrong" is an exceptionally clever observation are generally not artists, and typically don't volunteer helpful feedback for artists.

So to get back to your actual question, I think it's pretty easy to tell when someone is approaching your story from a place of affection or curiosity and when someone's just looking to score points off you or take out their personal frustrations on the closest target. There's no hard line because the difference isn't in the critical process, it's in the underlying approach. A bad-faith criticism can stumble on a solid point once in a while, but the critic still won't gain or give anything valuable from the experience. They're just racking up points.

#asks #behind the curtain

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sheisadykewomon · 2 years

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In discussions of what draws people to trans ideology, I have not seen anyone mention the role of childhood emotional neglect in priming children to accept the premises of the ideology and the dynamics of “trans culture”. Children who have been emotionally neglected are especially at risk of being drawn into gender ideology. (Below, I use the word “child” but the analysis also applies to “adult children”, or grown-up children of emotional neglect.)

Emotional neglect causes deep feelings of emptiness, extreme emotional loneliness, and the feeling that something is inherently wrong with you. An emotionally neglected child feels that she needs to change something about herself in order to be safe and happy, but she doesn't know what it is; she can't pinpoint what it is that is "wrong with her", so she is plagued by the constant, unyielding tension of living day-to-day with an unsolvable problem.

Emotionally neglected children are always looking for a way out of their unhappiness, but are frequently unable to consciously acknowledge what is causing their unhappiness. Because the parent may have provided adequate food, shelter, and clothing, the child may feel unable to blame her parents, worried that it makes her ungrateful, which would be evidence of her inherent “badness”. These children frequently blame themselves for not being able to consistently hold their parents' attentions and affections. They frequently self-harm as a result, may develop eating or substance use disorders, and otherwise struggle to regulate their emotions and maintain emotional stability. All of this makes a child susceptible to the kind of love-bombing attention that is characteristic of trans ideology: here's what's wrong with you (you are trans), here's what you need to change (gender identity), once you do it you'll finally belong somewhere and you'll have a "family" who loves you (the "trans community"). That's extremely appealing for someone who has grown up feeling like he or she does not belong and is not wanted.

Some parents of trans youth tend to wonder why their child has been drawn into this ideology, why the child is so eager to discard the family of origin and disown his or her parents. They believe that trans ideology turned their child against them. These types of parents would never stop to consider that perhaps their child had never been "with them" from the start, because they were never emotionally there for the child in any meaningful way. They are not and were never aware of the child's emotional needs, and so cannot empathize with the child's desperation to find emotional fulfillment elsewhere. Trans ideology gives emotionally neglected children a great excuse to extricate themselves from emotionally painful relationships with their family, without having to directly acknowledge the extent of the pain that the neglectful family has caused. The painful interactions can be reframed as "transphobia", as the parents oppressing the child because he or she is trans, rather than the more complex reality of the parents being emotionally unavailable to the child.

This gives a more concrete excuse for the child to abandon the family of origin and seek out a life independent of the family. The child can more easily justify to herself the action of separating from the family of origin; trans ideology absolves the child of the guilt she might otherwise feel if she just "left for no reason". But this initiation into the ideology, and ticket away from the harmful family dynamics, comes at a price. The child must dedicate him- or herself entirely to the ideology, or lose the justification for individuation from the family of origin.

If transitioning should fail to fulfill its hefty promises for the child--i.e. eliminating the deep inner emptiness and emotional pain--the child feels panicky, and fears that “it’s not working”. She may begin to doubt that the ideology is the solution to her problems, but the only alternative she sees is to return to the previous (unpleasant) family role. The child must then double down on the ideology. Feeling that the failure to resolve her pain is her own fault, and not the result of the false promises of the ideology, she must mold herself further to fit this new role. The child feels unable to be completely individuated from either the parents or the ideology, and relies on the ideology as a kind of pseudo-parent; like the emotionally neglectful parent, the ideology dictates what the child can and cannot say, do, or think. It is the creation of another role under the guise of "personal freedom", when the child is only switching from one constrained role to another, from one dysfunctional belief system to the next.

Trans ideology promises freedom, but trans culture tells another story: one of control. The culture of trans ideology is, on its face, about celebration of individual differences; however, only certain superficial kinds of differences are celebrated, such as clothing style or hair color. Deeper differences, such as differences in values, opinions, experiences, and perspectives, are not tolerated. In this way, the ideology replicates for the child the same conditions created by the emotionally neglectful parents. It feels familiar, and therefore safe. True individuation feels frightening for the child; the child is not able to think for himself and does not truly know himself. The ideology "protects" the child from confronting and resolving these fears by demonizing any members who express divergent opinions, perspectives, or ideas, thereby threatening the child into compliance in the same manner as the emotionally neglectful parents. It "protects" the child from growing into a true individual. As long as he or she goes along with whatever everyone else has agreed is "the right thing", all is well.

#thoughts #trans ideology #gender ideology #this is not really finished but I'm sharing anyway

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theomnicode · 1 year

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The continual denial of Genos being legitimately gay for sensei annoys me.

How clearly does it have to be spelt out? Ja vääntää rautalangasta?

When 3 different people saying he's infatuated does not count?

(transitive, idiomatic) to explain in plain English, explain in words of one syllable, spell out, spoon-feed, (have to) draw a picture (to explain in concrete and simple terms, often condescendingly).

Oh right, Genos has to kiss Saitama.

Maybe Genos will bend a heart out of iron bar as per the idiom. Or maybe Saitama will do something creative and actually make a necklace or something and gift it to Genos. That would be very cute and on par with the idiom.

I guess we have to do that then. Just to make it a point. A very loudly clear point.

The more it's being denied, the more it will be obvious.

Genos evokes those long-forgotten feelings in Saitama and he's like a man dying of thirst running after those emotions that give him hope in his life and to actually succeed, thrive and live in world of OPM. Not just survive but get something he has desired for himself for so long too and sense of fulfillment.

It'll be glorious pulling of the rug. Fandom exploded just from Saitama having the tiniest blush because he was so proud and happy for Genos, wonder how they will react to kissing.

"Hello my name is Genos and I've been queer and very gay for sensei this entire time, nice to meet you."

#opm #one punch man #genos #fandom discourse #finnish idiom #queerness #saigenos #genosai #saitama

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stardusthuntress · 1 year

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What Does Real Love Look Like? Part 2!

Tech x female!reader

(Part 1)

Word Count: ~1.6K

TW: getting smutty, not totally, but getting there, so minors begone! DNI! This part is not exactly smut, but it’s not for younglings all the same! 18+ only!

Summary: upon waking up by your side, Tech follows through with his suggestion to wait to begin a relationship until the new day because he agreed that he wanted you to be happy when the relationship began

Author’s Note: Follow up to the angsty part 1! Felt like this needed something softer to go with it, because I didn’t want the story to be left out in the rain that I felt while writing it. So here’s a much happier, sorta spicy part 2! This one is far less angsty, just comfort and happy lovers! Story below the cut! (Tech dividers by @/djarrex)

When morning came, it found you curling tighter into the wonderful warmth enveloping you. As you shifted and slowly transitioned into the world of wakefulness, you snuggled deeper, making little noises and little movements. Becoming more aware of the world around you, you found your head was nestled on Tech’s chest, and that warmth behind you, his hand rubbing your back. A small smile crept onto your face and Tech could feel it. As you slowly moved to look up at him, sleep still clinging to your movements and mind, his lips found your forehead and lingered for a moment. You hummed contentedly, eyes closed. His fingers gently combed themselves into your hair, as you lifted your head to look at the man sharing your bed with you.

“Good morning, Mesh’la” his voice is quiet, as though he does not want to break the happiness in this moment. He’s propped up on the pillows and wall behind the bed, it would seem he has been awake for at least a little longer than you, but chose to stay in bed with you, and let you snuggle up to him. Little did you know, he spent the last hour gazing happily at the peaceful expression on your face, and admiring the curve of your cheek, your tossled hair, and the shape of your nose that he wanted nothing more than to pepper kisses all over. This feeling was new to him, but he wouldn’t give it up for the whole galaxy. He spends the time until you wake up admiring you and planning out the best way to fulfill your request from the night before - when you had told him you did not wish to start a relationship in tears.

“Good morning, handsome” you return. Eyes not hiding how they are drawn to his lips.

His free hand cups your cheek, and you nuzzle into it and kiss his palm. He huffs out a small breath, and you find his signature smirk gracing his lips when you look back. His index finger curls it’s way under your chin, and lifts in a way that allows you strength and pride to guide the shape of your shoulders. And when your posture has fortified the sparkle in your eyes, and you seem back to your usual self, he knows the time is right.

“Mesh’la” his voice is still gentle and quiet and has that morning quality to it “I want to wake every morning like this, and spend every day by your side. You are quite brilliant and skilled, and I cherish every moment we get to spend together. Would you be willing to spend our days together? Would you do me the honor of dating me?”

By the time he finished he realized he’d never seen you so happy as you were in that moment. You couldn’t hide the grin that lit up your face even if you tried, though you never again wanted to hide your joy from this man. You were so happy that he not only listened to you but heard what you had asked for, and followed through with the solutions you had settled on, because it also mattered to him. No more hollow words. No more empty requests. This man cared. This many knew the value of every moment with you and wanted to learn what you had been through not to hold it over your heard, but because he wanted to shield you from ever feeling like that again. This man was ready for a strong woman like you.

“I would be honored, Love” you beamed. Your eyes once again drifting to his lips and back to his eyes, as you slowly leaned forward, giving him ample time to communicate whether or not he was willing to accept a kiss. His handsome smirk widened. His eyes burning with hopeful compassion and dedication to you, his partner. His hand in your hair shifted to support the base of your neck as he gently tugged you in, closing his eyes to accept your offer, sealing your lips with his.

But it wasn’t just any kiss. He poured all his emotions for you into that kiss. All his hope and determination to live by your side and appreciate and grow together became the passion with which he indulged. You could feel the kiss breathing life into the tiredness of the morning, and you pressed it back into him. The kiss warming with passion and all the things you did not yet have the words for.

A need for air finally separated you both, as you lay there together, panting in the glow of the morning.

“Well then, my Darling,” he crooned, “is there anything in particular today has in store for us, or can we enjoy this a little longer?” For once, he was grateful that Hunter had ordered him not to do any work today when he messaged Tech to find out where he had been all night.

A mischievous smirk graced your features and Tech wondered what else you had in reserve for him that could make his insides somersault like that did. The quick, sneaky peck you pressed to his lips certainly made the list. He decided today would be guided by his emotion center instead of his logic center… and promptly rolled you onto your back, and began leaving a trail of kisses from your cheek to your ear and down to your neck, where he suddenly felt the need to suck at the spot just below your earlobe. One of the pleasure centers he may or may not have done some research on while you slept so peacefully on his chest, none the wiser.

Your breathy gasp sent a tingle through his body. One he never wanted to forget, so he continued to suck and lick and bite gently, on that spot, as you bared your neck to him. One knee, pressing it’s way between yours.

His open mouthed kisses made their way down your neck, and adventured around the invitingly open shape of your top. You had also doffed your gear before falling asleep, opting instead for something lighter and more comfortable that fit the beautiful tropical weather outside your ship. His tongue teasingly licking its way beneath your shirt a few times before he slowly began to move back up your body.

His eyes met yours as you murmured his name. Your breathing still a little ragged, and the look in your eyes so tantalizing. But he needed more of those pretty noises you made.

So he slowly lowered his head beside yours and began nibbling on your ear. The way you began to squirm beneath him, winding your arms around his back, gripping tightly, moaning lightly in his ear only spurred him on more.

“Oh, my Darling” he breathed between languid kisses “you have no idea what you do to me.”

Just when he thought he couldn’t fit in any more emotions, you giggled.

“I could say the same, my Love” you whispered into his ear that had found its way next to your lips during his ministrations. He shivered, and pressed his whole body into you, deciding that the only thing he knew for certain was that he needed your body closer to his, and yet he was also aware that there was no such thing as having you close enough.

The way your body blossomed beneath his ministrations, squirming contentedly beneath his weight, and wrapping tightly around him like you desperately needed him to keep going made him curious “Is this what you have been missing, my Darling? Slow and sensual and passionate lovemaking? Someone willing to take their time to unravel you from the inside?”

“Maybe,” you breathed, but where you had intended to be confident it came out almost as a whimper. You bit your lip. Every slow and deliberate touch of his felt exquisite, you couldn’t help but feel so loved and like he genuinely wanted, not only to take care of you and you of him, but to make this something that felt good for both of you, not just him. Like he genuinely cared about your pleasure as much as his own, if not more so, truly wanting to make you happy.

“I am here now, Mesh’la. I am all yours. And I have no plans to do anything else today. Anything you want, we shall do. Please do not hold back, anything that is on your mind, no matter what it is, I want to know. I want you to feel confident that I support you as the strong woman you are. I never want you to feel ashamed about crying in front of me, if that is what you need to do to let things out then I will not shy from it, now or ever. But let us do our best to always focus on the good things, no matter how small they may seem, as much and as often as we can, yes?”

“Yes, Love. That sounds wonderful. Thank you for being so open and communicative, you’ve no idea how much that means to me.”

“Of course, my Darling, that is but the least anyone can do, and I have no intentions of doing only the least, I love you so much more than that.”

“And I, you, Love. Now tell me, you’ve been so sweetly focused on me, but is there anything in particular you wanted to do today?”

He beamed. He was also happy with the clear communication and the way this relationship allowed attention to both partners when each needed it. Though he would be genuinely content pouring all his energies into doting on you, for a few days more, at least.

Please don't steal my work! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it!

#tbb tech #tbb tech x reader #tbb tech x reader comfort #tbb tech x you #tech tbb #zenith writes

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