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timelords-angel-is-sherlocked · 2 years

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last week I had top surgery and while recovering I binge watched amphibia and I'm obssesed with the hcs of everyone being trans. I've specifically been obssesed with Sasha so here are my general headcanons for them, their life, and their gender identity:

life pre amphibia:

-Sasha's dad works in some sort of office job in the city. Her mom is a lawyer.

- Her parents divorced her first year of middle school. Her mom has full custody while her dad has supervisored family visits

- Anne and Marcy were one of the few constants in their life, so Sasha did what she could to keep them in her life which subsequently led to her being controlling and manipulating (tactics they picked up from her parents)

- Sasha's mom wasn't a bad person but that didn't mean she was a good mom. she wasn't present in her child's life and this made Sasha act out to feel seen

- petty crime like shoplifting was sasha's go-to when she was bored. but it wasn't satisfying to her so she looked elsewhere to spend her time. she signed up for cheerleading

- being head cheerleader got her mom's attention so Sasha worked her ass off to be the absolute best at it

- tennis practice would often end at the same time cheer practice did so sometimes Sasha would go to Anne's for dinner

during amphibia:

- the only things Sasha knew as fact in this bizarre world she was prisoner in: 1. her friends were trapped here too 2. only those with a strong will to survive will make it out

- oddly enough, being called "The Creature" and being referred to as "it" made Sasha feel some sort of way

- when Grime asked Sasha what they want to be called, she accidentally almost said the Creature was fine. she ended up telling him to call her lieutenant for now. he shrugged and went with it

- when being fit for armor, Sasha's heart started to thump in her chest. she could choose any appearance she wanted. any name she pleased. no one knew her here. they could create any identity they pleased

- sasha decided she would go by they/she pronouns. the toads supported their decision with ease

- hanging off the cliff, looking into Anne's eyes, Sasha thought about their life and her friendship with Anne. the Plantars were desperately trying to pull Anne up but the tower was crumbling and it was at this point Sasha realized all they've ever done is drag Anne down. taking a deep breathe and memorizing Anne's face, Sasha let go and hoped in her next life she'd be a better person

- living with Grimes in hiding was horrible because it left her time alone with her thoughts and feelings. she threw herself into training and thanked Frog there were no mirrors accessible to her.

- they would run a finger on the scar over their face before bed until the scab peeled

- as they grew more confident in their body and ability of a warrior, they started going be he/they pronouns

- dual wielding was absolutely their favorite thing on the planet. he would practice with his swords every single day until his arms couldn't bare it anymore

- Grimes called Sasha their son once and he broke down crying almost stabbing himself with their sword. Grimes didn't know what to do so he awkwardly patted their shoulder

- Sasha didn't necessarily miss her parents or her life on Earth. he had all she needed on Amphibia: his best friends and a sense of belonging

- if he was being honest with himself, he was starting to resent the idea of going back to Earth. Grimes really was starting to feel like a father figure to her and he and Anne were patching things up. after finding Marcy, what else would they need? they all had made a family and a life here. they would be safe and protected

- he'd have nightmares for weeks about Marcy getting stabbed and Anne going to the human realm. after a while, they stopped sleeping and threw himself into training the rebellion

- Sasha was rarely alone. but when he was, he'd think of Marcy and Anne. while he did feel betrayed, they understood where Marcy was coming from. for a moment there, he was about to trap them all on amphibia, after all

- Grimes had once asked them if they were going to change their name. he had offered a wide variety of names from his own family and warriors from toad history. Sasha would try a couple in private, but he was too preoccupied on the war and Marcy and Anne to care abt a name

- arriving on Earth and fighting a couple bots before holing up in their middle school had Sasha on the verge of a panic attack. being back on Earth was so disorienting, so confusing. on one hand, he knew Earth is where he belonged and where his family was, but Amphibia was his home, too. he had Grimes and the rebellion and he was so unconditionally loved and taken care of, they didn't want to stay on Earth.

- he half heartedly begged Grimes to ask him to stay. if Grimes asked, Sasha would stay no problem. the lieutenant would be needed to help rebuild the government system and act as security

- it was with a heavy heart and tears that wouldn't stop flowing that Grimes shook his head and pushed Sasha towards his friends

- "I will remember you with every beat of my heart, my son. Thank you for everything. We will meet again."

- Tears continued to flow as Sasha allowed himself to be dragged gently away by Marcy. He last view of Amphibia was Grimes waving goodbye with a proud look on his face

Post Amphibia:

- Sasha, Marcy, and Anne had to be picked up from an undisclosed FBI facility

- Sasha's mom threw herself at her child but Sasha remained emotionless and nonverbal.

- days went by and nobody could get Sasha to speak. ran out of options, Sasha's mom took them to therapy. Sasha spoke very little and left with two prescriptions of medication

- they had therapy every week for months. they didn't always speak most of the time. but they did make a little bit of progress on the days he felt brave

- Sasha's mom begged and begged, sometimes on her knees, for Sasha to speak to her, to yell at her, to do anything. Sasha's heart yearned for Grimes, for the comfort he found in their toad and frog family.

-it was on one of those family dinners they started to have. both of Sasha's parents were present. they walked on eggshells around their kid. Sasha knew the first thing they would say would be something their parents would remember after months of silence. he took a deep breath and put his fork down

- "I go be he/they now."

- both parents startled and looked at their son slowly. Mrs. Waybright nodded slowly while Mr. Waybright blinked.

- the family dinners stopped after that night.

- Mr. Waybright stopped going to his visits with his son

- "How can I make you feel more comfortable being home?"

- Sasha felt more open speaking now that he was adjusting. therapy was still a hit or miss and things with their mom were still rocky, but it was easier to talk now that he got that off his chest

- "Do you know where to get custom swords?"

- It took a while to be able to talk to Anne and Marcy

- It was easier to speak to Marcy about Amphibia and the escapism of it all. Sasha had a better understanding of why Marcy liked fantasy worlds so much

- after everything, speaking to Anne felt like too much. he didn't like to talk about Amphibia with her. so they talked about gender identities and k-pop

- "School is starting in a month..."

- "okay"

- he was homeschooled freshmen year

- Darcy left a deep scar on Sasha's back. he tried to hide it from his mom but she saw it six months later and nearly fainted. none of his friends knew about it.

- when he went back to school, he went to a private high school near the firm his mom worked at

- they still couldn't decide on a name. he liked a couple from Grimes' family but they weren't sure. at school, they went by their last name

- his mom helped him legally change the gender marker to "male" but since they didn't have a name chosen yet, their mom simply set all the paperwork for that aside and told him to let her know when they're ready

- he took advanced psychology to try and understand why he acted the way he did and why what happened on Amphibia happened

- he started testosterone midway through Sophomore year and was surprised by how sweaty and hot he was all the time

- Anne went with Sasha to by his first binder. they facetimed Marcy so they wouldn't be left out from such a big event

- after a year and a half of therapy, the therapist had come to these diagnoses: PTSD, insomnia, anxiety, gender dysphoria, and depression

- "I don't get how I have survivor's guilt when literally no one I cared about died"

- "You watched both Marcy and Anne die in front of you, yes? And Grimes lost an arm while protecting you?"

- "They came back to life I don't see how it matters..."

- on days they're feeling down, he puts on a sports bra and swings his swords in the backyard for hours listening to a playlist Grimes had made

- it still hurts to think about Grimes and Amphibia, but being more comfortable in his skin and having the acceptance he had there transfer to his life on Earth has helped him heal and feel better

- because of life and distance, he, Marcy, and Anne grew distant. they would still group call every couple of months and send memes, but they weren't as close as they used to be

- the five year anniversary of the portal closing, they met up in the desert. for the first time in a long time, they openly talked about Amphibia and the baggage that it brought. Sasha showed them their scars. Marcy talked about the medical issues they have because of what happened. Anne admits she recently started going to therapy again. it wasn't until early in the morning did they all fall asleep huddled together in a tent

- when Mars turned 18, they moved to LA

- it took some time to readjust to everyone but soon, the calamity trio were tighter than ever

- a year later, they all moved into an apartment together

- a good thing about working from home is that Mars could help take care of Sash when he was recovering from top surgery

- Anne was an angel when it came to emptying out the drains since Mars couldn't stomach it and Sash didn't always feel comfortable doing it himself

- Sash hated feeling useless and unable to help around the apartment but Mars would talk to him and make him feel better while Anne swiftly did the chores and cooked

- at the first post op apt, both Anne and Marcy held his hands as he took a look at his chest for the first time

- "Grimes would totally love these new scars"

- "I'm so ready to have matching ones soon!!"

- Sash always did his own testosterone shots. they were sacred to him. in a show of faith, he allowed his mom to do it for him a couple of times. the first time he let Anne do it, she sobbed afterwards and asked if he wanted to do her estrogen shot

- Marcy hates needles and always has Anne or Sash do their shots

- Sash loved Amphibia with his whole heart. It wasn't the perfect adventure but he wouldn't change a thing. while they're sure they would've loved staying on the frog planet, he's learned to be happy with his life now and the relationships he's fixed

this is rushed and idk if all of it makes sense but I needed a place to put my thoughts down. I'm so hyperfixiated on Sasha I'm going to rewatch Amphibia to try and get a better grasp on his character and his dynamic with Marcy & Anne

I made a playlist for transmasc sasha in case anyone wants to give it a listen 😫 it's got rock / punk influence on it and songs that come from my personal hc of him :)

#i wrote this on mobile so im sorry if the format is weird #i need a name for sasha but i dont want to pick a name nobody likes #im digging alexander bc of a comic i saw but idk if I'll commit to it #picking my own name was a disaster #how am i supposed to pick for a beloved character #he'll always have a bad relationship with his father tho #okay what should i tag this as #bc im gonna make a bunch of version of these as i grow more comfortable with his character #trans waybright #trans waybright rambles #amphibia #should i tag spoilers? idk i will just in case #amphibia s3 spoilers #sasha waybright #transgender #yes i am projecting a lot into this #ok thank you for coming #Spotify

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ask-doctor-alto-clef · 2 years

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Good morning. I woke up at 3:30 this morning ‘cause I was in pain, n’ I’ve just been curled up in a ball in my bed since. Hopefully the rest of ya had a better wake up call than I did.

#clef.txt #/joking #[i am trans and clef is trans and i am Projecting]#[also new ooc format cause i didn’t like my old one]

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opencommunion · 3 days

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one reason (white) queer people misuse the term homonationalism is that they see queerness (or whatever you want to call it) as naturally disaffiliated with the US empire. so they understand homonationalism as a divergence from a natural mutual antagonism between queerness and empire. they talk about homonationalism as if it's an exclusively "normie gay" project, and as if it's a divergence from, rather than a consequence of, the overall trajectory of western lgbtqia+ politics. ironically it’s that self-exceptionalization by the queer, on the basis of their queerness, that imbricates them in homonationalism. they produce themselves as a homonationalist subject, and reproduce homonationalism, every time they articulate their queerness as individualized freedom. and Puar actually anticipates all of this in her original theorization of homonationalism in Terrorist Assemblages, and that's why it really helps to go to the text instead of osmosing queer theory solely through tumblr posts (esp when tumblr is so white and the queer theorists are not): "Some may strenuously object to the suggestion that queer identities, like their 'less radical' counterparts, homosexual, gay, and lesbian identities, are also implicated in ascendant white American nationalist formations, preferring to see queerness as singularly transgressive of identity norms. This focus on transgression, however, is precisely the term by which queerness narrates its own sexual exceptionalism.

While we can point to the obvious problems with the emancipatory, missionary pulses of certain (U.S., western) feminisms and of gay and lesbian liberation, queerness has its own exceptionalist desires: exceptionalism is a founding impulse, indeed the very core of a queerness that claims itself as an anti-, trans-, or unidentity. The paradigm of gay liberation and emancipation has produced all sorts of troubling narratives: about the greater homophobia of immigrant communities and communities of color, about the stricter family values and mores in these communities, about a certain prerequisite migration from home, about coming-out teleologies. We have less understanding of queerness as a biopolitical project, one that both parallels and intersects with that of multiculturalism, the ascendancy of whiteness, and may collude with or collapse into liberationist paradigms. While liberal underpinnings serve to constantly recenter the normative gay or lesbian subject as exclusively liberatory, these same tendencies labor to insistently recenter the normative queer subject as an exclusively transgressive one. Queerness here is the modality through which 'freedom from norms' becomes a regulatory queer ideal that demarcates the ideal queer. ... I am thinking of queerness as exceptional in a way that is wedded to individualism and the rational, liberal humanist subject, what [Sara] Ahmed denotes as 'attachments' and what I would qualify as deep psychic registers of investment that we often cannot account for and are sometimes best seen by others rather than ourselves. 'Freedom from norms' resonates with liberal humanism’s authorization of the fully self-possessed speaking subject, untethered by hegemony or false consciousness, enabled by the life/stylization offerings of capitalism, rationally choosing modern individualism over the ensnaring bonds of family. In this problematic definition of queerness, individual agency is legible only as resistance to norms rather than complicity with them, thus equating resistance and agency.

... Queerness as automatically and inherently transgressive enacts specific forms of disciplining and control, erecting celebratory queer liberal subjects folded into life (queerness as subject) against the sexually pathological and deviant populations targeted for death (queerness as population). Within that orientation of regulatory transgression, queer operates as an alibi for complicity with all sorts of other identity norms, such as nation, race, class, and gender, unwittingly lured onto the ascent toward whiteness. ... To be excused from a critique of one’s own power manipulations is the appeal of white liberalism, the underpinnings of the ascendancy of whiteness, which is not a conservative, racist formation bent on extermination, but rather an insidious liberal one proffering an innocuous inclusion into life."

Jasbir K. Puar, Terrorist Assemblages: Homonationalism in Queer Times (2007)

#library #imperialism

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transformationsproject · 11 months

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Need Some Good News?

We are kicking off this week by celebrating good news from Louisiana! Learn more below.

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utopicwork · 7 months

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The short of it, it's an ad free, FOSS based Youtube/other sites that yt-dlp supports downloader developed by an anarchist trans woman:

The long of it:

After a couple of weeks of brain storming and development I've made an updated FOSS version of a project I've been providing for a couple years for Youtube downloading.

It utilizes SocketIO and other asynchronous tooling so there is no database/task queuing software needed meaning to deploy this yourself you're only looking at running a single docker/podman container (or you can run the python code without the need) for the backend and a simple web server to serve the front end (though you will need to use npm somewhere to get the JavaScript packages for the front end) or a service such as Neocities.

For the average user mostly the changes mean that you have more power, more features, and a way to audit your experience if you're so inclined.

Find the repositories here:

Last, here's the current updated feature list:

MP3 Downloading

MP3 Metadata Editor

Playlist downloading (YouTube only atm)

Subtitle downloading

Direct stream links retriever (you can download whatever format you like that yt-dlp offers for the given video)

Clip editor/gif maker

Themes (for fun and for those that need to adjust their experience for disability reasons)

Lastly, the secret feature I hinted at: you can add the url y232.live? before any video link and it will pull up y232 with the url field autopopulated

Spread this around, share it with your friends and if you're feeling generous consider tipping me to keep the site going and possibly add more servers (its a good time to, I need to pay for the domain in a couple weeks):

#y232

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lakemojave · 8 months

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Friday 9/8 @ 5pm Pacific: The Complete History of Kingdom Hearts (For the Trans Empowerment Project)

About 2 years ago I did a stream where I explained the lore of Kingdom Hearts to my friends, including familiar folks like Laika, Cody, and Mia. This ran about four hours, and I left out Kingdom Hearts 3 so that I could build anticipation for my own stream of that game, which has never happened. Now, after reviving this stream format into what has become The Complete History series, I am ready to present my updated analysis of not only the story of the ENTIRE franchise, but also the development history, the game design, the actual pieces of the game that make it compelling. Yes, even Goofy dying.

Join me, @the-seelie-court-official, @spitzy-speaks-jp, and @radiofreederry as we raise money for the trans empowerment project! We're shooting for $2000 to help fundraise for trans people in need, providing things like emergency food, gender affirming clothing, and education resources! Stay tuned for our live incentives and stretch goals, and see y'all then!

artwork by @terrafey

#kingdom hearts #lakemojave #the complete history #charity stream #twitch #lmhps #shameless plugging

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biglisbonnews · 1 year

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Everything That Happened in Anti-Trans Legislation This Week: March 20-27 Anti-trans bills passed in Arkansas, Georgia, and Idaho this week, with several others advancing across the country. https://www.them.us/story/anti-trans-legislation-update-march-20

#News #Trans Formations Project #them.

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scrumpster · 2 years

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Jewish Resources (Assorted)

Since my last post seemed to be helpful to a lot of people, I thought I’d make another to share some additional resources. This list includes a bunch of stuff, meant for Jewish people in general. I would definitely encourage you to explore them! There’s a lot of useful stuff here. Goyim are welcome to reblog, just please be respectful if you’re adding tags or comments. Jewish Multiracial Network, an organization for multiracial Jewish families and Jews of Color Sefaria, a free virtual library of Jewish texts Sephardic Studies Digital Library Museum “The SSDC includes key books, archival documents, and audio recordings that illuminate the history, culture, literature, politics, customs, music, and cuisine of Sephardic Jews all expressed in their own language, Ladino.” (from their website) The SMQN, an organization for LGBTQ+ Sephardic and Mizrahi Jews Keshet, a group for LGBTQ+ Jews JQY, a group for LGBTQ+ Jews with a focus on those in Orthodox communities Queer Jews of Color Resource List (note: this list is way more than just resources, there’s a LOT there) JQ International: “JQ celebrates the lives of LGBTQ+ Jews and their allies by transforming Jewish communities and ensuring inclusion through community building, educational programs, and support and wellness services, promoting the healthy integration of LGBTQ+ and Jewish identities.” (from their website) Jews of Color Initiative, an organization dedicated to teaching about intersectionality in the Jewish community, focuses on research, philanthropy, field building, and community education Nonbinary Hebrew Project: It’s hard to describe, but they’re working to find/create/add suffixes that represent nonbinary genders in Hebrew. If you speak Hebrew/another gendered language, you might know what I mean about gendered suffixes. Jewish Mysticism Reading List (These are related to our closed practices, goyim should NOT be practicing these things) Ritualwell (you can find prayers and blessings related to specific things here, I personally like that they have blessings related to gender identity) Guimel, an LGBTQ+ support group for the Jewish Community in Mexico. The site is in Spanish. I’m not a native speaker, but I was still able to read a little bit of it. SVARA: “SVARA’s mission is to empower queer and trans people to expand Torah and tradition through the spiritual practice of Talmud study.” (From their website) TransTorah is definitely an older website, but there are still some miscellaneous pdfs and resources up on the “Resources” page. Jewish Disabilities Advocates: “The JFS Jewish Disabilities Advocates program was created to raise awareness and further inclusion of people with disabilities within Jewish organizations and the larger Jewish community.” (from their website) Jewish Food Society (recipes, have not spent a lot of time browsing here but maybe I should in the future) Jewish Blind & Disabled, an organization that operates mainly in providing accessible housing and living. Jewish Braille Institute International: “The JBI Library provides individuals who are blind, visually impaired, physically handicapped or reading disabled with books, magazines and special publications of Jewish and general interest in Audio, Large Print and Braille formats.” (from their website) Their services are free!)

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rthko · 5 months

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Hey, I remember reading a while ago a post or two of yours about the word faggot, specifically as almost a third/"failed" gender. I've come to identify with the word a lot myself as I've figured out my sexuality and gender, so I was wondering if you had any further reading on the word and its history and reclamation that I could look into? Thanks!

First, I'm glad this post resonated with you! I unfortunately can't help much with the etymology or history of the term itself, but maybe I can help with the concept I use it to represent. It has been an ongoing project of mine to articulate, if nothing else to myself, the specificities of gayness. "Gay" refers to too wide a range of experiences to really be specific, but I am referring to those of us for whom "gay" refers not to the mere fact of our desires but what distinguishes us in a gestural and cultural level from other men. In effect, a gender in its own right. When writing that post I opted for "faggot," because what I wanted to described referred not just to male homosexuality but the experience of having chance or the expectation to live as men and symbolically or literally rejecting it.

I have a lot to say but I'll try to keep it brief. When I have articulated something like this in the past, some people have commended it saying that there's a lot of writing on lesbian as a gender but not the same for gays. This is not entirely true. Karl Heinrichs Ulrichs was the first to write of and identify with homosexuality as an essential characteristic, but this version of homosexuality was the urning, or "woman enclosed in the body of a man." We would recognize this today as trans womanhood, although there is great writing by trans women challenging the "wrong body" framing. This concept came to be known as inversion, which sexologists co-signed often in good faith but to predictably unhelpful ends. This concept is understandably obsolete because of its essentialism, the proliferation of trans theory, and of course the offense it poses to gay men. But as someone who has always self-identified and been externally considered at the fringes of manhood, I took a strange comfort in it. To know that gay men and trans women were grouped together in this uneasy alliance goes against ahistorical notions that transgenderism is an unwelcome intrusion into queerness.

So I guess the text I was looking for was The Faggots and their Friends Between the Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, 1977. People recommended me that book after my post, and I was stunned by its resonance. Mitchell waxes lyrical about the faggots, their allies the women, and their adversaries the men. His description of the faggot's identify formation is as follows:

The faggots once called themselves the men who love men. But they discovered that they did not love men, they loved only other men who loved men which was not that many of them. The men who hate others were false and death-inflicting and obsessed with being strangers. The men who hate others hate the men who love men. And this hatred is so strong that it turns the men who love men into the faggots.

Notice it does not use the logic of inversion or make any pretense of the faggots being women. Yet it does locate the point at which "faggots" detach from "men" and recognizes them as different categories. The post-stonewall pre-AIDS period in which this book was written produced a lot of "proto-nonbinary" identities, like faeries and queens. It's hard to determine by 21st century standards who in the mix counts as trans and who doesn't.

When I tried to articulate in more personal terms what this gray area means to me today, a lot of people found it resonant but a lot of people found it offensive. I felt like I owed apology to those who felt aggrieved, but the problem was that half considered it offensive that I considered myself related to transness in any way and the other half considered it offensive that I still described myself as cis. I was either a cis man who refused to check his privilege or a self hating non-binary person who just needed to come out already. I maintain that whatever you want to call me or what I want to call myself, there are material distinctions between me and most trans people that can't be ignored. And I think what keeps me from making the jump is that to introduce myself as nonbinary would make people tiptoe around language in a way I don't personally feel is necessary, but gayness has its own methods that work for me. I like the way we careen promiscuously between gendered scripts and signifiers, and the camp sensibility that refuses to take itself too seriously. I am also hesitant to describe myself as what Lyft would call "Women+."

This is a long post by Tumblr standards but if I were to really say everything I want to say Tumblr would not be the medium for it. But if you're looking for something to read on the subject, I recommend Larry Mitchell of course, Susan Sontag's Notes on Camp, Judith Butler's Gender Trouble (but just skip to part three and the conclusion honestly), Cruising Utopia by José Esteban Muñoz in part for his analysis of gesture in queer of color dance, and The Queer Art of Failure by J Halberstam that further elaborates on Muñoz's writings on failure and adds a butch perspective. Currently I am reading Male Subjectivity at the Margins by Kaja Silverman, which is a little psychoanalytic for my taste but offers a fascinating re-evaluation of inversion theory without endorsing it.

Despite all the effort I put into this post it will not be rebloggable sorry. 🤐

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