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#totally not starting to feel the effects of so
doitforbangchan · 2 days
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All Bark and No Bite- 16
Masterlist /Series masterlist
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe
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Chapter warnings: Fem/Afab reader, kinda smut, kissing, bathing together, cursing, crying, pet names, fluff. Really not much for this chapter but lemme know if i missed anything important.
WC: 6.2k
Not gonna lie, this is kind of a filler chapter. But I hope yall enjoy nonetheless :)
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The rumbling that escaped out of Jeongins chest as he pumped you full would have been off putting to anyone around. They would have found the emittance to be dangerous- vicious almost- and possessive, with how deep and gravely the growl was as he bit into the tender flesh of your shoulder for the second time today. Having spent nearly three days with the young Alpha you knew well enough by now that he was nearing control over himself once again as he finished inside of you, the growl more of a warning he had cum. 
He let your used and bruised body slump into the sheet below you, your arms acting as a pillow under your head. Jeongin draped himself over you, pressing you further into the bed. His knot was still locked tightly inside of you and with each movement from him it rubbed against the sore walls of your core. 
The alpha laid wet kisses along your spine after he licked away the blood from his final claim on you. In total over his rut he had bitten into you eight times, in varying places all over your body. You could imagine you looked like you were mauled by a wild animal, though that wouldn’t be far from the reality. 
“I think it’s finally over, baby.” Jeongin breathed into your ear from above. He had a lightness in his voice you hadn’t heard since before his rut started. “I feel the effects lifting from me as if I can breathe again.”
“M’ so glad, Innie.” You murmured, the pure exhaustion you felt was coming through you clearly. “Now you can be comfortable again.” 
He cooed at you, “Oh omega, you sweet baby. I’m more happy for you. You have been so so good to me the last few days, taking everything I gave you with no complaints, letting me take whatever I needed from your precious body.”  He nuzzled into your neck and hair as he felt his knot begin to deflate. You both grunted as he slowly pulled out of you. His copious amount of cum was seeping out of you and onto the already soiled bed. With how much cum, blood, and sweat was covering it Jeongin knew it would be better to just toss it out at this point. “I can’t express how much it means to me- how much you mean to me. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and to our family.” 
You knew it was his post nut clarity that was making him sappy, but you couldn’t stop the sniffles that left you. “Innie… I feel the same way about you and everyone in this pack. You’re my family now and I love you guys.” You strained your neck over to kiss him and he returned the gesture. 
“Even Minho?” He teased, giggling when you rolled your eyes. 
“Hmpf.” You felt your cheeks heat, “Yes, even Minho” You threw a finger at his face menacingly “But don’t you dare say anything!” 
He laughed harder and pulled you closer, kissing your nose. “My lips are sealed. Buuuut, I’m not so sure about the gremlin who's listening outside the door as we speak.” He raised his voice slightly for the last part of his sentence . “You’re not slick, you Pabo! I could smell you from down the hall!”
Your mouth was agape when you heard a shriek- that sounded suspiciously like Jisung- coming from the other side of the door and then the scuff of scurrying feet. “I didn’t even know he was there!” 
Jeongin hauled himself off the bed with a hearty laugh, “He’s been doing that since day one. He comes around periodically, most likely to check on you to make sure I hadn’t eaten you alive. The whole pack does it. You seriously couldn’t tell?” 
You shook your head as you slowly arose from your laid position, wincing when you felt the throb between your legs. “Uh uh, I didn’t notice at all.” 
“I guess I did have you a little… preoccupied.” He had a smirk on his face as if he was proud of himself. “My senses were in overdrive so it made it easier to smell and hear them. My alpha instincts were on a constant high alert.” 
You nodded, “That makes sense. I felt similarly when I was in heat.” You could still feel the pooling liquid seeping out of you, the now coolness of it was making you grimace. “Since your rut is ending, do you think we could please go take a bath? The last few rounds have left me kinda.. Sticky.” 
“Oh yeah!” He slipped off the bed and found a pair of shorts somewhere amongst the wreckage of his room. He put them on and returned back to your side. “Come on, baby. Lemme carry you.” You lifted your weak arms up to him as he bent to scoop you into his hold and you wrapped them around his neck. 
He walked out of his room freely for the first time in a few days. All the other times you had to make sure the coast was clear and that no other pack members were on the same floor. Innies possessiveness and alpha aggression when he was in a rut was on another level so the young alpha generally tried to avoid leaving the room during that time anyways. Thankfully it was not the same for you. During his moments of rest and clarity you had been able to exit the room for bathroom breaks and food. The pack members always greeted you with gentle kisses as they assessed you and you had to assure them you were ok. Innie was particularly rough in his fucking of you after you came back, though; the scent of the other boys on your skin driving him crazy. 
“Wait! Should I put something on? I’m still naked..” You trailed off, biting your lip. 
Jeongin chuckled, “It’s nothing most of them haven’t seen before at this point, baby. Plus we’ll get you some clean pjs after you're all cleaned up.” 
Jeongin carried you into the bathroom and set you on the counter while he went to start heating the water and filling the tub. You watched as he found a few different bottles of bubble bath, and giggled quietly when he opened each one and smelled it before he decided on one he deemed acceptable.
While the tub filled you turned to look at yourself in the mirror. You hadn’t seen your reflection since this morning so you were anticipating seeing the new marks that had been left. You gasped lightly when your eyes found all the dark marks and bites left on your body. Innie really did a number on you, he was unable to control many of his urges when it came to claiming your body. You poked and prodded at a particularly deep bite wound on the side of your left breast. 
‘That's gonna be sore for weeks.’ You thought as you poked. 
“I think that one is my favorite.” Jeongins voice startled you as he rested his head on your shoulder, looking into your eyes through the glass. He had a cheekiness in his tone. “Was my favorite place to bite you. So soft and tender.” He sighed wistfully, as if remembering the moment. 
“Yeah, tender enough that it’s going to take forever to heal.” You huffed, narrowing your eyes at him. 
He snorted, pulling back. “You’re one to talk. Look at this monster you gave me!” He tilted his head to show you his neck that he had asked you to bite into the previous day. His skin was marred and dark red, showing just how deep your teeth had buried into his flesh. “Stings like a bitch now. But it’s ok, I kinda like it.” He grinned and gave you a clumsy wink.  
You laughed and shoved him playfully, “Ok mister masochist, help me into the tub please.” He obliged your request and hauled you into his arms once more before he lowered you into the heated water. Your head fell back with a deep sigh as you relaxed into the tub. He has chosen a lavender scented soap that was divine. Innie stepped in and settled himself directly behind you. He then leaned your back against his chest, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. “Mm this is nice.” 
He hummed in return, leaning over to grab a washcloth. He dipped the cloth into the water then pulled it up, giving it a squeeze to release the water inside. The alpha lovingly ran the cloth over your neck and shoulders, wiping away the remaining blood and saliva. Then once your top half was wiped clean he brought the cloth back down into the heated water, then gently to your core. Your breath hitched when he made contact with your folds. “Shhh baby, I know it hurts. Lemme clean you up, ok?” He whispered reassuringly in your ear. 
You let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding, trying not to close your legs to keep him from touching you where you were most sensitive right now. He continued his slow and delicate ministrations while peppering kisses on your cheeks every time you let out a pained whimper. Eventually he finished his task, throwing the cloth onto the edge of the tub. Then he just let you rest in the still hot water.  
Sitting there in the tub was peaceful. Neither of you were talking anymore given how the fatigue was catching up to you both. It was nearing nightfall already, you could tell it was late evening by the setting sun casting in the small window. The lavender fragrance of the bath soap combined with the heat of the water was easing the tension in both of you. 
“Ya know, I haven’t had a bath in years.” Innie's voice startled you lightly, just as your eyes were about to droop. He laughed quietly when you jumped. “Sorry, baby. Just reminiscing, don't mind me.”
“Why haven’t you had a bath in so long? Do you not like them?” You asked, keeping yourself awake now. 
“I’ve never been a huge fan of sitting in hot water. Maybe my blood just runs hot. I also think it’s kinda boring. Just doing nothing in a tub. But right now I can honestly say I’m loving being here with you. I’m feeling very relaxed, and happy that I get to be with you.” He had a blush on his cheeks. 
“Aww Innie. You really are such a sweet boy.” Your heart swelled and you beamed at him. “ We can take baths together anytime you want.” You leaned up to kiss his jaw. 
“I’ll be taking you up on that offer, don’t you worry.” He kissed you back. 
“Can I cash in that offer too, baby?” 
You both looked up at the door being cracked open just slightly and a pouty face appearing, looking at you with hopeful eyes. 
“Hyunjin, what the fuck are you doing in here? Get out!” Jeongin groaned, annoyed now by the new presence. 
“No! It’s not fair! You’ve hogged her for days! I missed my baby!” The beta whined, his pout growing even bigger. “Plus you left the door unlocked so really this is your fault.” 
Jeongin scoffed, “You still got to see her everyday, your stink was all over her every time she came back to my room. And what about me?! Didn’t you miss me?!” He pulled you closer to his body, making the water slosh off the side of the tub.
“Of course I missed you, Innie. We all did.” Hyunjin replied with an eye roll. “But I’m not mated with you now am I? No, I’m claimed by my baby and now it’s my turn with her.” He skulked closer into the bathroom and grabbed the towel that was left on the counter. “So give her here.” He looked at the alpha expectantly as he held out his arms for you. 
Jeongin grumbled a whine, “Hyunnng you’re being so mean to me.” Still, he scooted you forward slightly so Hyunjin could grab you. Jeongin gave you a final kiss, “ I love you, I’ll see you in a while, baby.” He whispered to you before he handed you over to the beta. 
“Love you Innie.” You replied then let Hyunjin pull you from the tub and into his arms, where he promptly wrapped you in the big fluffy towel and whisked you out of the bathroom. 
Once you were out of the bathroom Hyunjin nuzzled into you with a purr as he carried you to your room. “Mm I missed you so much baby.” 
You giggled, his hair tickling your neck. “Missed you too Jinnie.” 
He set you gently on your bed as he ran the towel over your form, being mindful of the fresh bites and bruises. He bristled when you winced, “Sorry, love. Innie sure did a number on you, huh?” 
You gave a weak chuckle, “Yeah, he got a little rowdy. He always apologized afterwards so I don’t mind.” 
Hyunjin went into your wardrobe after he wiped you down and pulled out some pjs for you. He helped you dress even when you insisted on being able to do it yourself. “I wanna take care of you, baby. Let me help you.” You couldn’t deny him when he pouted like that, batting his eyelashes at you. 
He had put you in a tank top and panties, then he turned away to get you out some pj pants. That small distraction was all that was needed for the peeping tom at the door to spring in. Hyunjin screamed in surprise as Jisung swung the door open with a lightning quickness and launched for where you were seated on your bed. You yelped a laugh when he scooped you into his embrace. “Ahh Jisung! What are you doing?!” 
“Hi baby.” He grinned as he stood up now with you in his arms. He smooched you on the lips.He gave Hyunjin a glance “Sorry, gotta blast!” Then he sprinted out of the room, holding you.
“No! Jisung you asshole, I was having my time with her!” Hyunjin screeched as he chased the younger beta. Jisung was running down the hall towards the stairs cackling loudly. You were holding on for dear life, a nervous grin on your face. “Stop! I’m serious! It’s not fair!” 
“It’s my turn now! You had yours, I missed her too!” 
“I had a whole 6 minutes with her!” 
“Sucks to suck!”  Jisung had gotten down the stairs and had barely made it around the corner when he ran into another figure. Jisung nearly fell backwards at the impact. He ended up backing up into Hyunjin who had been right on his tail. 
Amidst the whole debacle, it was Changbin who grabbed you from Jisungs falling form. Jisung had run into him when he was coming to see what the commotion was. “What a pleasant surprise.” The alpha grinned. “Nice to see you, baby.” 
You giggled, letting him take you. “Hi Binnie.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. 
“Changbin! Give her back, it's my turn.” Jisung whined like a child when he was able to set himself upright again. 
Hyunjin pushed him with a scoff, folding his arms. “You stole her from me, asshat. It’s my turn.” 
“Sucks to suck, right guys?” Changbin snickered, then turned and walked down the hall. 
“Boys I’m not a toy! There are no turns.” You protested from your place in Chanbins arms. Your pout was light; you couldn’t be mad at any of them for this game of toss around. You had missed them all so much, even though you saw them all briefly during the last few days. 
“Of course you're not a toy, baby. These young boys need to learn some manners when it comes to a beautiful woman.” Changbin threw a playfully dirty look behind him at the betas who trailed behind. 
“Are you gonna be the one to teach them, Binnie?” You teased, nuzzling into him. 
He flexed with you still in his hold, boasting of his strength. “Who better than a strong alpha like myself?” You laughed into his neck. “Take notes, boys.” 
Changbin carried you all the way through the house and out the back door onto the back patio. The outside string lights were on, illuminating the patio as the sun continued to fall further from view and the night settled in.  The grill was on and there were various plates of vegetables scattered around the table next to it. The air was hot and mildly humid. Summer was definitely here now.
 Leaning on the banister next to the grill was Chan and Minho. Chan's face lit up at the sight of you coming out the door. Minho couldn’t hide the twitch of his lips when he saw you, his delight peaking through. 
“There's my love. Was wondering when you would come down and join us.” Chan approached you and Changbin as the latter plopped down on the outdoor sofa with you in his lap. Chan cupped your cheek and leaned in close to you, rubbing noses with you. He gave you a gentle kiss with a smile. Changbin huffed in mild jealousy, pulling you even closer. “Oh come on Bin, our girl deserves all the love we can give. Why be stingy, hm?” Chan hummed with a laugh as he pulled back.
“Exactly!” Jisung came crashing down onto the furniture beside you on the right, grabbing onto your arm attempting to pull you away. “You read my mind, oh wonderful leader.” 
Hyunjin was the next to speak up. “ You literally stole her from me! If anyone is stingy it’s you Ji!” He stomped his foot petulantly before coming over and sitting on the left side and grabbing one of your legs.
All this tugging was starting to make your wounds hurt, so you tentatively and quietly tried to interject, “Umm guys, can you please be easy on m-”  
“Jinnie, you went and took her right from Jeongin! Don’t act all high and mighty, I see through that shit!” Jisung cut you off, seemingly unable to hear your timid voice. He pulled on your arm a little harder. 
Changbin squeezed you to keep you in his hold, making you wince. “ You guys are children.” He rolled his eyes. 
Hyunjin scoffed, his grip accidentally digging into one of your darker bruises. “ You’re one to talk, you ripped her right from Ji.” 
“I saved her from you idiots!” 
You felt your eyes start to water from the pain and from being ignored. You felt too timid to interrupt them again so you just took it. Though, you didn’t have too for long. 
A deep growl halted all the boys in their actions. All of you swiveled your eyes to Chan who still stood a few feet away, now with a menacing look on his face. His eyes were narrowed at the three boys who held you captive. “That is enough from you three. Can’t you see your fucking hurting her?” He stalked closer and reached down for you. 
Immediately they all let go of you. Changbin spoke up, “ I’m so sorry baby, we should have been gentler on you.” 
“Especially since you just got done with Innie. I forgot about your wounds baby I’m sorry. Hyunjin apologized sheepishly. 
Jisungs lip wobbled as tears welled up in his own eyes. “M sorry, please don’t hate me.” 
“It’s ok, I’m not mad. And I could never hate you, Ji.” You wiped your tears once Chan had you secured in his arms. He still had a pissed off crease to his brows. You brought your thumb up to smooth over his brows, smiling when he kissed your palm. He carried you to the picnic table they had set up, placing you down on the bench. He straddled the bench and had you lean against him. 
“Mm much better, huh omega?” He hummed, kissing your head and holding you close. 
“Yes alpha.” You relaxed against him. You could hear his heartbeat from where you rested. It was calming. “ I’m gettin tired, Channie.” 
He chuckled, “I would be surprised if you weren’t tired, my love. You have been kept very busy lately. You gotta stay up for a while though, dinner is almost ready. The pack has been excited to share a meal together as a whole again.” You nodded, trying to keep yourself awake. 
Looking around you noticed how much food had already been laid out. There was a pile of kabobs, fresh veggies and a plate with some chicken. You looked up as Minho brought another plate full of done food and set it on the table in front of you. 
He gave you a teasing smile, “Hi baby. Welcome back.” 
You couldn’t hide your grin, reaching a cautious hand out to him, unsure if he would grab it. “Hi Min. Glad to be back.” Thankfully, he did. He held on to your hand for a second, running his thumb along the skin of your knuckles. Then he brought those same knuckles up to his lips, placing a kiss there. It was so soft you almost didn’t feel it. It only lasted a moment though, before he let you go and returned back to the grill.  
You let your hand drop with a sigh. Sometimes you wondered where you stood with Minho. One moment it seemed like he hated you, the next it was like he cared for you. Almost as if you were lovers. The back and forth from him was giving you whiplash to say the least. Chan was behind you, running his lithe fingers along your exposed thighs. “Hey now, no more thinking for tonight. Just relax, omega. I got you, Alphas got you.” 
You nodded and were going to reply when you were distracted by the sliding door flinging open. Felix stepped out holding a plate, Seungmin was right behind him also holding a big plate. “Ok this is the last of it!” Felixs eyes found yours quickly and he shoved the plate he held at Minho, who cursed him out for almost dropping it. He scurried over to you quickly, kneeling down to be beside you. “Y/n, baby. Are you ok?” He looked deep into your eyes, pressing his forehead against yours. 
“Mhmm, I’m fine Felix. Just really sleepy.” You shrugged sleepily, giving him a kiss. 
Seungmin sat down in front of you with a snicker. “Oh I bet you're really exhausted after what Innie did to you, huh baby? If the sounds that came outta his room was any indication.” He deepened the pitch of his tone, “ ‘Oh omega I’m gonna ruin you, I’m gonna breed you and make you mine.’” He imitated the youngest pack member, adding in fake growls. 
“Seungmin!” You pushed him away as he laughed, “Don’t be vulgar.” 
He leaned in real close with a smirk, “I thought you liked it when I talked dirty to you, puppy.” 
You stuttered, turning your face away from all the boys. “Well… I- um..” You felt your face heat up as you tried to come up with a witty response but fell on none. “ Well you're a jerk so, blah.” 
You felt Chan laugh from behind you, clearly he was amused at your turmoil. “You’re so cute, omega. So feisty.” 
“Don’t you start making fun of me too!” You craned your neck back to see him biting his lip to hold back his chuckles. “You’re supposed to be on my side!” 
He held one hand up in defense, “ I am on your side, baby. But I also know he’s telling the truth, so why fight it.” 
You huffed, crossing your arms but wincing when you accidentally brushed against the deep bite on your breast. Felix was the one to notice your discomfort. “What’s wrong? Are you hurting?” 
You rubbed the spot that was sore, “It’s nothing, just a leftover battle wound from helping Innie.” 
Seungmin was still sat in front of you and he had zero hesitation before he reached for the bottom of your shirt and yanked it up to expose your chest to him. 
You gasped, trying to pull it back down, “Minnie! What the fuck?!” 
He smacked your hand away as he tried to locate the area that was bothering you. “Oh stop, we’ve seen you naked before there's no sense in being shy. Let me see what’s bothering you.” 
Chan soothed you by pumping out calming pheromones and rubbing your back. He wanted to see the damage himself anyways. 
You slowly felt yourself calm down, giving in to the boys around you and dropping your arms. “Thata girl.” Your alpha praised you with a kiss on the back of your head. You had calmed down so much in fact that you hadn’t even noticed your outburst has caused every member present to stare at the scene unfolding, each of them eyeing your now exposed breasts. Chan continued to pour praises and sweet words into your ears as the beta in front of you got to work inspecting.
Seungmin held your shirt up with one hand, while the other was prodding around at your fresh bites and marks. His gaze was searing into you in a scrutinizing way, as if he was meticulously counting each and every tooth mark and finger print that lingered on your body. He clicked his tongue when he saw just how deep some of these bites went, “Jesus, pup. You got fucked up didn’t you? Poor thing.” He had a sympathetic tone to his voice.
When his nails accidentally dug into the wound on your breast you winced and squirmed. Felix - who was still beside you- ran his hands comfortingly along your exposed thighs. “You’re ok, lovely.” He reassured you the best he could, but if he was being honest with himself; seeing you sitting here almost naked, just in your frilly pink panties, was making him drool. He risked a glance over at the other boys and could see the same thing for them. 
Jisung and Changbin both had their hands in their lap, as if trying to conceal their erections. Hyunjin had a proud smirk on his face (he had picked her panties out, afterall) as he bit his lip. The only one not ogling the omega was Minho, who had his back turned to the scene but Felix could see the tight grip the elder beta kept on the spatula. 
Chan and Seungmin had total concentration on your body, both looking you over for the particularly painful ones. Everyone was so invested in you that no one heard the door slide open again until the youngest alphas' voice startled them. 
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Jeongin had stepped out to join the pack, his hair was still wet from the bath and he was barefoot. “Is this some kind of weird orgy?” 
Seungmin let your shirt fall back onto your torso with a scoff, “You wish, you sick pervert. We were examining all the marks you left on her.” 
Jeongin rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “Ha uhh yeah, I got a little carried away.” He came to your side, pushing Felix out of the way. The beta responded with a quick ‘Watch it, asshole!’ before he moved out of the way and went to sit at the table. Jeongin crouched down beside you and took your hand, “How are you feeling, baby? Still feelin sore?” 
You nodded, “Uh huh. ’m also really worn out. I need a nap.” 
Chan cooed at you from behind you, “My poor girl, you have to eat a full meal first. We gotta get you to heal up.” 
“Good thing it’s all ready now then.” Minho brought the last big platter of grilled meats and veggies to the table. He set a plate down in front of you and began to serve you your food first. He gave you a little of everything. “Here you go, be careful it's hot.” 
“Thank you Min.” You grinned appreciatively. He nodded in return, setting a lemonade down in front of you as well. 
“Come and get your food, ya filthy animals.” Minho called to the other pack mates who weren’t yet around the table. For that comment he received a few middle fingers (that he just laughed off evilly). 
After everyone was sat and served, it really dawned on you how much you enjoyed this life. The teasing and comradery was something that was still taking you some time to get used to, but it felt more like home each and everyday. While you ate Chan kept one arm around your back, keeping you close to him while he ate with the other hand. Seungmin was to your left, keeping his hand on your thigh under the table. Changbin was seated across from you playing footsie with you under the table. 
It seemed they all had their own ways of wanting to be close to you. The realization made a wide grin appear on your face. 
“What's got you so happy over there, sweet girl?” Felix brought you down out of your own little world. 
“Nothing,” You replied, crinkling your eyes at him. “Just thinking about how happy I am here with you all and how much I love you. ” 
The silence after your statement was deafening. There was a beat where no one said anything, and for a split second you felt your heart drop into your stomach. A creeping feeling of doubt began to wash over you, but it was quickly erased by the  loud chorus of “AWWWWW”s that flooded out of each boy. Suddenly you were swarmed by the pack, ending up in the middle of a huge pile of man. The sudden overwhelm of all their scents was beginning to make you dizzy. 
“You’re so cute, omega.” Chan had a cheekiness to his tone as he giggled in your ear from behind. 
You felt a wetness falling onto your chest, the drops seeping in through the shirt you wore. And then you heard the sniffles. “Ji… Please don’t cry. You’re gonna make me start crying.” You could already sense the tears welling up on your lash line, threatening to fall at any moment. 
“I can’t help it.” He wailed, burying himself into your shirt even further. “You make me- us- so happy, baby. Plus it’s not just me crying! Look at Lix and Hyun, they're crying too!” 
Now that he mentioned it you could faintly hear the little hiccups and sniffs from beside you. 
“Don't bring us up when you know we’re emotional, you dick head!” Hyunjin shrieked, pulling Jisung away so he could now hold you closer. 
“Alright guys, let’s get off of our baby. She’s still sore, ya know.” Chan was casual with his demand, being the first to pull back from you. 
“Yeah thanks to Jeongin.” Seungmin snickered and eyed the youngest Alpha. 
Jeongin cast his gaze down quickly, riddled with sudden nerves, then looked back at you with an apologetic crinkle of his eyes. “Sorry again, omega.” 
You reached your hand out to him to take, “Innie you don’t need to apologize to me anymore, or at all. I took care of you like a good omega does for her alpha. Plus, I had a lot of fun with you. You made me feel… really good.  ” You beamed at him to show you meant every word. 
He grabbed your hand, ignoring the hollering that erupted from the rest of the teasing pack. He sent you a wink before he leaned in to give you a peck on the lips. 
“Our little boy is a man now!” Changbin laughed loudly as he gave Innie a hard pat on the back. 
“Hyung, I’ve always been a man. At least more of a man than you.” Jeongin dodged the smack that was sent his way from Changbin, cackling with amusement at the elder alpha’s displeased huff. 
“You wish you were half as man as I am!” Changbin tried to puff out his chest to give a more dominant display, but all it did was make everyone laugh louder. 
“And you wish you were half the man that Channie Hyung is.” Felix added to the banter, looking to get a rise out of Bin. 
Changbins chest deflated as he pondered the statement. Then he shrugged in agreement, “Yeah pretty much.” 
“Ok ok, If we’re done eating we should clean this up. All this food left out will attract bugs.” Chan stood from his place, grabbing both his and your plates in his hands. He smooched your cheek as he stood, “sit tight love.” 
“I want to help!” You protested, eager to help the pack with even the simplest tasks. 
“You are helping. You’re sitting there looking pretty for us.” Minho patted your head as he passed you, carrying a large platter back into the house. 
You felt your cheeks heat up, turning away from him so he didn’t see the pleased look on your face. 
It was a few minutes later that the whole table was cleared and cleaned up. Chan came back for you and held out his arms for you. You lifted yours so he could grab you into his hold. “Let’s get you to bed, omega. I know how tired you must be especially now that you’d have a full meal.” 
Now that he mentions it you were starting to feel that fatigue from earlier. You covered your yawn with your hand, then nodded in agreement. “Yeah I think I’m ready for bed, Alpha.” 
He passed by the kitchen so you could say your good nights to the other boys. “Goodnight guys. I’ll see you in the morning.” You offered them a lazy smile. 
“Damn, is it that time already? I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you at all.” Jisung pouted, coming in to kiss you. 
“I know I’m sorry, ‘m just really tired.” You were starting to feel guilty about needing to sleep. ‘He’s right, they have barely seen me. Maybe I should just stay up for a while.’ 
There was a sudden twinge of sourness that was leaving your body, your contrition coming through clearly for all to smell.  
Jisung was speedy to backpedal his words, “No, it’s totally ok! You should definitely get your rest!” His boba eyes were wide and his hands were raised in a defensive way. “In fact,” He deepened his voice to act intimidating, “It is my command that you get some good rest, asap.” 
Chan snorted a laugh and there were a few scoffs and chuckles from the other boys. You had hid your smile behind your hand, you couldn’t help but feel amused at his phony display of dominance. “As you command, master.” 
Jisung visibly gulped at the name, but his reaction was nothing compared to the reaction Minho was having, the beta practically choking on his spit. He attempted to cover it up by pretending he accidentally ran into the counter when he received a side eye from Hyunjin. Minho's mind went racing at your comment, liking the way the title sounded on your lips. 
“Say goodnight to Baby, I’m taking her to bed now.” Chan brought you to each of them so they could all give you small kisses and wish you goodnight. Then he swiftly carried you up the stairs and to his bed. You will never get over how strong he is, carrying you like you weigh no more than a teddy bear.  
He set you down and covered you in the blankets. He then climbed in next to you and cradled you in his arms. You purred affectionately as you nuzzled into him. You felt instantly soothed at being back in his embrace, in the bed you share together. The alpha felt the exact same way. He was more than thrilled to have you back with him. One day he could handle, but the three days were borderline torturous. 
“Channie..” You whispered, your voice quiet as it cut through the silence within the darkness. 
“Mhm” He answered, his own eyes beginning to droop. He hadn’t slept much the last few nights, too anxious to get any real rest. 
“I love you.” 
“Mm, I love you more.” 
The both of you were out like a light.
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Minho's mind has been stewing for a few days. Ever since he met Changbins new friend, Wooyoung, something hadn’t felt right. It felt like he was missing something. 
He remembers the encounter very clearly. The beta man had been friendly, almost too friendly. And very personable. He had answered each of Minhos questions, none of which seemed to raise any alarms. 
‘Where are you from?’ ‘Goyang, it’s a city up north.’ 
‘What brings you to town?’ ‘Here to help out my uncle.’ 
‘Whos your uncle?’ ‘Park Jin-young.’ 
‘Are you mated to an alpha?’ ‘Yes, his name is San. We've been mated for a few years.’ 
‘Where is he at?’ ‘He’s back at home, taking care of the cats.’
All of his answers seemed to check out. Though to Minho, the answers did seem a little too clean. There was just something that was off. Something he couldn’t quite place a finger on. He knew he would have to be diligent going forward. He didn’t want to say anything to anyone about it yet, in fear of being completely wrong. But he would hold this thought close to his chest. 
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Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!
Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!
Beta read by my loves @ayejaii and @jehhskz <3
©doitforbangchan
Taglist- Closed
@chxnb97 / @butterflydemons / @zaggprincess2 / @stellasays45 / @uhhheather / @walnutspie /  @a-mistake-tbh / @meowmeeps / @realrintaro / @ihrtlix / @raehawthorne / @juskz / @freckleboilix / @marvelsmarauder / @0325tiny / @iyeeeverydee / @stars-garden / @boi-bi-ahaha / @gini143 / @queenmea604 /  @palindrome969 / @f9clementine / @theysaidhush / @kpophosblog / @usercaiskz / @honeym0chi / @nobody3210 / @changbinswife10789  @5starluvr / @neyangi / @jiminssluttyminx / @ayejaii / @iknowleeknow/ @jeonginnieswifey / @catlove83 / @upsidedownchaire / @emmxxsworld / @manuosorioh / @igetcarriedawaywithyou / @blondechannie / @woozixo / @ilovejeongin007/ @yaorzu-blog / @theydy-madamonsieur / @jehhskz / @feybin / @rylea08 / @sebastianswhore13 / @kihyuns-military-wife / /@lilyuwon @xx3rachaslutxx / @hahhahahjakakla / @skzstaykatsy / @zerefdragn33l / @yuhhhhh-slay / @im-sinking-in-mud / @n0y4 / @writhingwrecked / @silentreadersthings / @softkisshyunjin
the bolded names couldn’t be found for some reason 🥲🥲 sorry y’all
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I have a prompt request, Lucifer realizes that Adam always wore a mask and robes that covered his entire body because he was self conscious over his looks. At first Lucifer thinks that this was caused by shame after eating the Forbidden Fruit only to find out that Adam was self conscious about his looks before that because Lilith was constantly calling him ugly. So Lucifer decides to make it his mission to help Adam feel better about himself by talking about how handsome he thinks he is. Just some Adam angst with Lucifer being the best boyfriend.
Adam did his best to avoid mirrors when he fell to Hell. He still wore his robes that covered him from head to toe but he felt naked without his mask to cover his face. As hard as he tried to keep up this air of being the hottest thing that Hell had the pleasure of viewing, on the inside he felt anything but that.
It had to be true right? Lilith told him all the time in the garden how ugly he was and that she didn't want her future children to turn out ugly like him.
Chicks in heaven wanted him, but he kept his mask on and they never seemed bothered by it, some preferred it. That only confirmed to him what he already knew.
So now as a sinner and no mask to hide his face, all Adam can do is put up a metaphorical mask. Fake it til you make type deal.
He's been faking it for a long time.....
It wasn't until after they started dating did Lucifer take notice of Adams behavior around his appearance. He never wore anything from fitting, even if Adam didn't wear his robes he'd wear clothes that were loose and hid his shape and covered nearly all of his skin.
At first he thought it was because of the apple, finding out what it means to be naked around people can have that effect.
But no, it wasn't until he noticed how Adam avoided mirrors, would only take pictures of himself if he could heavily filter them or even during sex he wouldn't face Lucifer. And when he did his eyes were closed, like he was keeping something out or the lights would be off and they would be in total darkness.
Adam had let it slip one day what Lilith had said to him all those years ago in the garden.
One night, when in bed just reading he notices that Adam had been particularly quiet that whole day. Adam was laying with his back to Lucifer. "You okay, Hun?"
Adam didn't move or reply. He wasn't asleep, he was just staring at the wall. The blanket was pulled up to his nose.
Lucifer came up behind him and held him, carding his fingers through silky smooth wing feathers. Adam shivered from the feeling. "What's cooking good looking?" He smiled when that got a snort out of Adam and a half smile. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
Adam still didn't answer. He just tucked himself in tighter.
"Adam, look at me." Slowly he got Adam to turn over to face him, but he wasn't looking at Lucifer. "Let's see those pretty eyes." Slowly, Adam lifted his eyes to look at Lucifer, they were glassy. "There you are. Now, let's move this." Lucifer nudged the blanket down until Adam's face was free of it. "There's my handsome man." He kissed Adams face.
Adam started laughing when Lucifer kissed his face all over. "Luci!" He moaned softly when his King captured his lips in a soft yet firm kiss.
"I love every inch of you. You are the most gorgeous person I have ever had the pleasure to be with." Lucifer got on top of Adam and cupped his face. "You don't have to hide from me. I want to see your beautiful golden eyes, your heart stopping smile, and your smoking hot body." Yeah Adam gained weight over the years but that was from his own depression and eating his feelings from what Lilith said. Lucifer loved his softer body, more to love!
Adam cast his eyes down, frowning. "No it's not."
Lucifer raised a brow at him. "You question your King's judgement?"
"Yeah, I think my King needs some fucking glasses."
Lucifer smikred, "My vision is just fine. Cause I see a perfect ten." He winked and laughed when Adam rolled his eyes.
"Will you stop?" Adam was smiling now, he squeaked when Lucifer started up again on kissing his face and lips again.
"Never my love. I'll never stop loving you for who you are. And who are you is perfect to me.~"
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dairy-farmer · 2 days
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SPEAKING of my Andriods Nightgaurd ficlet? And my ongoing campaign of Sexy Civilian!Tim encounters?
:Dc
Night Gaurd Tim? owo? Jason doesn't die. But Tim's dad still does. New Dad is rich but An Asshole. So Tim studies like mad to get outta there. Lands a shotty apartment in HIS name. And a job!
That the Riddler destroys.
Okay... second try... SECOND job! Two-face. MOTHER FU-!
It keeps happening. He starts taking potshots at goons. He WANTS HIS PAYCHECK, damn it. He's tired of cheap ramen!
One of his Dad's old buddies see's him on a viral clip. He... *awkward cough* maaaay have swung a bat at Condiment King. To be FAIR... the shot super staining GOO all over the fashion line Tim JUST unboxed. He may have snapped a little.
But! It lands him a job!
Night Gaurd~ *jazz hands*
It's not like he sleeps at night anyway! Might as well get payed! He gaurds the satellite building used for staff overflow. It's only really in USE during certain seasons. But the don't want squatters or stolen company secrets.
O7 got it.
What he DOESN'T realize? That building has an EXCELLENT vantage point line of sight from certain parts of the roof. It's been part of the Bat's intersecting patrol paths for YEARS.
He doesn't notice them, at first. But they notice him. He's the cutie in uniform. Background check reveals some memes and that he used to be their neighbor etc.
Now, this can go one of two ways~ "Ivy assisted Fuck Seduction" or "I swear to GOD I WILL TRESPASS YOU-" It? Depends on if you want Timmers to notice! That waaait a second *squint*
Why does the roof... look EXACTLY the same as it did 8 days ago. Because he has freakishly good memory. Leading to him realizing the cameras? Hacked. There are 17 randomly played "night footage" banks. Son of a- *keeps open roof access to find the Bat's mid patrol Bat Burgering" YOU. #TheyCanExplain?
Or! Ivy, miffed that Bats made her MISS her girlfriends BIRTHDAY, decides? Fuck you in particular, actually. And hits him with a Pollen bomb.
He was standing RIGHT in front of the intake vent for the air conditioning. The whole BUILDING gets dusted. Not as concentrated, since it's spread out. But still exposer. Tim? Starts feeling off. Fever maybe? Weirdly horny. Really distracted, actually...
The Bat's? Drive Ivy off. Okay, who was hit? Everyone gets their antidote. We good? Let's head hooo-OMG! THE GAURD! FUCK.
And yep. Too late for an antidote too be effective. But don't worry Really Hot security Gaurd! They will- stop shoving! No you will not! I will-! No you have-! I said I WILL *Sibling jostling for the right to Help Tim*
Batman, NOT allowing himself to be distracted by gorgeous legs or the TIGHTEST little- Regardless, NOT letting himself getting distracted. Lends quite literally a hand. Gotta get that consent. For medical assistance. Because Bruce TOTALLY hasn't been fantasizing about taking this boy apart. Rocking his world then buying him breakfast.
He's just here to lend a dick in these trying times. Hero's duty and all.
And once Tim? Bat Fan and Bi Disaster realizes he has fucked the Bat's and they seemed REALLY into it? :Y he uuuh *cough* I mean, he's just SAYING... no one said you had to STOP... options THERE...
Now? They REALLY like that building. Great rest stop. Grab a bite to eat, drink something, fuck the night gaurd, take a nap, you name it!
Tim REALLY likes his new job. He's great at it.
-🐼🐼🐼
tim being the shared fucktoy among the bats❤️
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peaches2217 · 3 days
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Updates! Updates updates updates~
TW: mention of needles and injection
Confession: I said I would wait until my appointment next week to start taking T… but I’ve already taken my first shot. Mom if you’re reading this please hear me out: I sought out advice, and the advice was that it’ll be easier to regulate my conditions medically if I’m treated as I am, as someone taking T, rather than regulating it pre-T and then risk T throwing everything off-balance and putting me back at Square One.
So: ya boygirl’s officially started testosterone! 🥳🎉
I spent a solid hour trying to hype myself up, because while I don’t have a fear of needles, I still don’t particularly like them. I was of course given options, but right away I was like “Yeah, I can take the shot, no problem!” It’s not a problem until you’re staring at the needles that came with your prescriptions and realize Oh, I have to stick one of those into my own fucking leg.
But to my shock, it was… surprisingly easy? I had a harder time just getting the medicine into the vial. The infographics I was given all said to stab it in fast, but while obsessively Googling how to minimize the pain, several people suggested inserting it slowly. So I tried that, and I… didn’t feel it. Little pinch, then nothing. Tiny bit of leakage, so I put some pressure on it then slapped a bandaid over it. And that was it. Got a bit sore at the injection site that night, it was still tender to the touch the next day, and today I have to press down with a fair amount of pressure to feel that same soreness at all.
I got a huge burst of energy for the first few hours then crashed HARD, like I had a full-fledged cold. Thankfully I found a subreddit for early-stage T users, and they verified that it’s totally normal! You’re so excited about the big changes coming your way, and your doctor’s so intent on ensuring you know how to do it safely, that neither of you think to discuss what happens immediately following the injections. And the answer just so happens to be “You may or may not feel like you’ve been hit by a truck the first few times.” 😅😂
Today is Day 2 in Full, Day 3 Overall. The first effects started showing up today: random bouts of weakness, stronger-than-normal hunger, occasional weird feelings in my throat, some other stuff y’all don’t wanna know about so I won’t overshare — so I’m bringing a nice big stash of peanut butter crackers and cough drops to work tomorrow. I intend to not only survive, but thrive through this second puberty!
My body feels a bit strange and when I’m tired, I’m TIRED (right now, for example, I can’t find the energy to get off the couch), yet I’m really happy. This is happening. 🥹
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morninkim · 2 months
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decided Wren and their world's version of Elle had a kinda toxic romantic/horny fling during that campaign's timeskip - excerpt from the thing i'm writing for it under the cut
(idk if this getting posted anywhere since it is uh. definitely smut. and i don't have anywhere to appropriately and comfortably post that atm. but mostly just using it to practice writing again and i liked this little bit so sharing it hehe)
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wild-at-mind · 11 months
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(this is about trans stuff)
Probably need to get counselling about the fact that I’m so scared that my hormone balance is my personality.
#the cycle#so like i tend to associate my feelings with the Cycle position (menstral) that i happen to be in#so i feel strong and confiden and vivacious? upswing towards ovulation#sad and delicate? downswing towards menstruation#just being biologically essentialist or whatever some people say#thing is a lot of stuff about the effect of trans related HRT can read a little :/ if you're not feeling it#so the obvious example is gendercritical assholes saying trans women talking about feeling more emotional after starting hrt is misogyny#i actually think being emotional is not a bad thing tbh so they are tipping their own hands there#and also actually a lot of trans women seem to associate this change with positive things#but i'm talking about the way people talk about testosterone#a lot of people talk about the effects like it totally changed their personality tbh even if they don't realise it#it's scary like are our personalities our hormones????#someone on this ftm group i'm on said they were having difficulty forming romantic connections with people after a couple of years on T#and people were like 'well you're just aromantic it's fine! oh you weren't before HRT? well this is what your true#authentic self is then don't worry about it!'#like to be clear it was unclear from the post whether this guy needed reassurance that being aromantic is normal#or if he was bothered by it and wanted to change it#if first then the responses are fine#but if 2nd then .....wtf are the implications of this? is our sexuality and romantic inclination ALSO our hormones???#i don't think i'm wrong or crazy to feel weird about the idea of my personality changing and that my hormomes might be effecting it#kind of like how my personality is always shaped by depression and/or medication i'm taking for it#but it's scary like i only just got to know this brain i can't change it i'm FREAKING OUT#i feel like other trans people wouldn't want to talk to me about this because it sounds like i'm saying transphobic talking points. :(#but i really am scared of my personality changing.#if i go on t that is#can anyone talk to me about this on here?
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Sorry about the late reply haha, but I'm absolutely thrilled to hear you enjoyed reading my last ask!
About RGGJo (I've been been calling him a variant of that for ages too, but if I ever slip up and call him Jou, it's out of habit; I like to differentiate them by RGGO and 7's different official romanizations lol), I'd actually say it's not at all hyperbolic to describe him as relaxed. If you ever have a moment, I think going through his voice lines is one of the best ways to get acquainted with his character in a short time! (Article might be a little rough, I basically speedran it all in a day just to show you lol; also a lot of them are uh........ let's say borderline flirtatious)
That said, it is much less apparent before the timeskip. To go on a bit (or a lot) of a tangent, I think that kind of relates to something I've noticed about their relationship with authority. Which is to say, it feels like they have a tendency to walk on eggshells with regard to authority figures. I think that might be the single most consistent thing between their characterizations.
You do see that directly with Arakawa, of course. It's something established really early on for both of them. You can tell right away from Jo's sheepish look when Arakawa walks in on the yubitsume fiasco or RGGJo freezing up when Arakawa walks in on the equivalent scene that he's someone they genuinely seek approval from as an authority figure. And, y'know, 7 has that micro-interaction with Arakawa only needing to put a hand on Jo's shoulder to stop him, whereas RGGO has Mitsu directly stating that the only person who's able to calm him down when he's on a rampage is Arakawa. Honorable mention to the substory where Ichi stops RGGJo from killing some guy by saying it'd put Arakawa in a bad mood.
But I think the clearest example sort-of-outside of Arakawa, one that's more insightful with regard to authority in general (since you could say of course he respects Arakawa specifically), is actually from Ryuji's RGGO story. There was a fair amount of confusion, right, because it's canon to the console timeline, but they hadn't implemented the Arakawa Family's 7 sprites, and they used the RGGO ones. So the funny thing is, I could tell right away that everyone was supposed to be their 7 selves based on characterization
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I did take the time to look over all of RGGJo's voice lines from the link you provided oh my god you weren't kidding about making quick edits i checked the log date and you were making changes just a few hours ago, bless you and your work fr and yeah no, his voice lines definitely give off a different feel from Y7Jo (and definitely no joke about the more 'flirtatious' lines- evidently as someone who's mostly perceived Y7Jo it's jarring to say the least. Not that I'm complaining, it's incredibly interesting to see the difference)! It's almost funny to me how different their personalities seem, I wonder what made RGG decide to conceal his more 'playful' personality..
In regards to his relationship with authority- or I guess I want to talk more specifically about with Arakawa- the backstory each Jo has offers different avenues for explanation as to why he's so readily obedient.
I have to make a disclaimer right now and say I'm not totally caught up on Ichi's RGGO story (I stopped just after their fight on the rooftop), so maybe more background to Jo is given. Nevertheless, for RGGJo, his reasons for being obedient aren't exactly clear aside from respecting Arakawa's influence/power (as noted by his irezumi, I'm pretty sure). On that note though, I haven't seen the bit from Ryuji's story- something I'm definitely going to look into once I get some time this week (and it's neat that the Jo's are distinct enough from each other that you can discern which iteration it's supposed to be despite the sprite used: I'm excited to see that for myself!).
Inversely, the context that Arakawa has been taking care of Jo's son offers a more concrete form of an explanation as to why he's compliant. It's not bad to assume I think that Jo genuinely respects Arakawa's authority, but it's that added context that adds an extra layer to his behavior.
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thedeadthree · 2 years
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PETRA (the sandman) // ANYA (vendetta)
HATI (defiled hearts) // CINDRA (starfield)
LÍADÁIN (a mage reborn) // ELISAVET (vtm)
tagged by the darlings @roofgeese, @confidentandgood, @marivenah, @leviiackrman, @risingsh0t to make the girls in this cutest picrew! ty so much dears!
TAGGING: @griffin-wood, @blackreaches, @dihardys, @florbelles, @chuckhansen, @queennymeria, @jackiesarch, @aartyom, @swordcoasts, @belorage, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @hoesephseed, @saintsilver, @loriane-elmuerto, @shellibisshe, @sunsetseasons, @trinnaeste, @rosebarsoap and you!
#only if you want to of course! 🖤#oc: petra dvorak#oc: annushka zima#oc: caitrìona hati#oc: cindra zoë#oc: líadáin talovaire#oc: elisavet drakos#lasombra and swords my beloved 🗡🖤😌#also i got my 4th dose of the c*vid v*ccine and im not feeling to great (darn effects) so if my sick brain forgot someone u are tagged! 🖤#okay i was gonna join the party and add the other picrew but i wasn’t fond of the layout ✨🤧#so that’ll be a separate post 🖤🖤#ad campaign is starting now to force leon and the holy kingdom of param to APOLOGIZE ✨😠🖤😖#(he already plans on it but like.. ITLL HAPPEN AND HE BETTER im so excited to read their reunion in an update or in book 3 AH ✨🤧)#look at u anya look at you THRIVING ✨😌🖤 as she should! being evil is fun and cute! U DESERVE IT MY DEAR..!#petra at the prospect of traveling to hell with dream and totally not daydreaming of absorbing the powers of the nine lords of hell ✨🥴#and also petra when dream was like.. ‘would u like to stay here with me in the dreaming ✨🥺’ WEDDING BELLSSSS#she was like.. ‘stay in the waking world and summon more demons.#BUT ALSO QUEEN OF THE DREAMING and u can summon demons there too..? yea ill take it! 💞😌’ love that for u sweetie!#local demon summoner marries the endless of dreams and nightmares and WITHIN REASON continues her work in demonology more @ 11#HI someone stop me from making more clowns my brain is PLEADING ✨🥴 but she’s more of a reintroduction? it’s cindra!#im like THINKING of putting her in the outer worlds? i think she would have fun! her main verse is s*tar w*ars though 💞#MY TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE CAPTAIN/CRIME LORD/SMUGGLER AND FORMER SPOILED BRAT (was born rich..! she was disowned!)#she was disowned for stealing from other rich people and giving the items to bosses in the underworld for profit skzjzjzj#YOU KNOW WHAT ME TOO HATI ME TOO skzjxjjx an icon..!#she’s looking @ markus ✨😌 it’s how they flirt okay! ‘i hate u ill k*ll u im in love with u.. WHAT’ it’s their thing!#leg.ocs#leg.tagged#t: picrews#TY MY DEARS this is for sure one of my fav picrews i loved getting to make more dears with it! 🖤
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Nebularomantic culture is not feeling like you belong.
You don’t want to be grouped in with the allos because you have your own unique experience and love embracing your identity, but you also don’t feel like you’re “aro enough” because of the fact that your identity causes you to love more rather than love less… doesn’t help how heated things can get in the aspec community and even just watching from the sidelines makes you anxious..
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lilgynt · 2 months
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birthdays haven’t been too bad the last few years but with picking my dad up from rehab last year i’ve been getting antsy about it again and my work is gonna leave balloons and a note on my desk and i do work that day and i thought i had the saving grace of my brother doing a thing with me the DAY after but due to work things were now doin it on the day and it’s just looming closer and closer 😰
#personal#you have like 5 bad birthdays in a row and suddenly have an actual fear of ur bday#again it didn’t happen for a few years so i was fine but dad thing now is scared again 🙄#anyway i would have said no to the work thing but i wanted to be normal and encourage good will between my coworkers#i mean on my 45 day review perfect notes but my supervisor had to specify leadership when talking about communication bc i DONT be#talking to my coworkers#which totally fine doesn’t effect my work at all but.#idk i didn’t want to be like no when i already don’t talk to people#but did start a convo today!!!#i’m not bad at talking with people or even strangers i’m not even super shy i’m just bad at being a person#anyway so said yes even tho it does make me antsy thinking about#and i hate working on my birthday bc it feels like.#any event on my bday freaks me out or at least used to and does again#like ideal birthday stay home in bed and survive just don’t want to encourage chance or take any risks#i just want to stay still until it’s over and everyone’s okay#but now i’m working and people are gonna say happy birthday and there will be balloons and a note#and my brothers taking me out which yay love him love solo time gonna ask for sushi#but i’m also scared like what if something happens to him?#but it’s silly to live in fear and he’s only here for like a day#and even if my dad came home i also got my first birthday surprise with my friends lying#and saying they needed art supplies and gave me a cake and hannibal stuff and it was so sweet i cried :)))
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firelord-frowny · 9 months
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that feel when your psychiatrist warns you that your new meds might cause significant changes in body weight but fails to mention that it might also make your periods terrifyingly heavy and long-lasting 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
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deadtower · 1 year
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been at work for five hours now and a solid 50% of the songs that have played since 9.30am have been subpar covers of songs from the early aughts. it’s like the saddest fucking thing because like i love a good cover but people legit do not know how to make new songs anymore. there’s one beat that’s obviously difficult to translate into a text medium but legitimately every club song (which is most songs because people … aren’t making new songs that aren’t manufactured solely to be played in a nightclub by any bratty rich kid with a turntable among 14 other near-identical songs all also manufactured solely to be played in a nightclub by any bratty rich kid with a turntable) has it because they are quite literally all the same song
and oh my god it’s so fucking depressing. like i really and truly kept an open mind because i didn’t want to be like “back in my day blah blah blah” but like i’m a professional musician and it’s … literally the same song with slight variations and that’s the only song that exists now. that and covers on top of covers on top of covers
(i have to make it clear i am NOT talking about lizzo, she is beautiful and perfect and original and everything she does is magic. i love you lizzo)
#but like oh my god is this it is this the end of music#like as we careen into late stage capitalism it’s like …#things are really and truly only being made for money anymore#writers are banging out these songs as quickly as possible so they can make their quick buck#and half the time the songs have maybe like 4 words total in them bc the rest is just ‘remixed sample i ripped’#also like covers are fine i LOVE a good cover i promise i promise i promise but#the cover of Blue by Eiffel 65#is without a doubt the most soulless cover ive ever heard of anything in my whole life#besides the cover of Sk8r Boi that was done by Ashnikko#where the ENTIRE appeal of the song was that it started off mostly the same#and then suddenly ashnikko says ‘he couldn’t make her CUM’#and i guess that was like for shock effect? or something? and you’re like WHOAAA HOW EDGY#SHE TOOK A BELOVED EMO HIT OF THE 2000S AND MADE IT ABOUT SELF CAREAND ALSO SHE SAYS SWEARS IN IT!#*CARE AND#bc yeah sure THAT’S what makes a cover worth listening to#the fact that it’s hardcore now bc she mentioned sex and swearing#like not to be all old man yells at cloud but#i am so fucking tired man#it feels like a nightmare being in this time period#creativity’s completely dead and it only took 15 years to do it#listening to my parents’ music is different bc like yeah our music and theirs were quite different but#they were both unique and interesting! on both sides! but that’s not the case with the music now#like this is purely from an objective standpoint and the view of a legitimate musician lmao#anyway. rant over i just needed to put that somewhere and ive been trying to put more personal posts—#—on my tumblr lately because i used to do it all the time and people would actually talk to me then#and idk man i’m lonely i crave human connection especially lately#gotta stop self-isolating tbh#anyway. if i put too many tags they’ll get cut off at a certain point so adio#*adios.
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not-a-mongoose · 2 years
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hey.... so before i write the next chapter of my fic, I accidentally gave my Martin Inthelittlewood sim the wrong aspiration, so could i get some recommendations? I won’t get distracted and go MIA for two days again like last time, I promise! 👉👈 🥺
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I'm still crying 😠
#this is the kind of blow that would have made me actively suicidal a few years ago and yes i realize how stupid that is#as things are now... I'm not coping *well* but I'm managing to hold onto anger so the depression doesn't totally take over#but i can not stop crying#every time i think I'm finally done it starts up again#this has also pushed my anxiety to the point where i feel like I'm going to pass out throw up or both and i can't stop shaking#audiobooks with my noise canceling headphones were my best/only semi-effective tool for dealing with anxiety#and yes i know. reading is a privilege and i should just be grateful that books are available in my country & that we have libraries at all#this year has been one thing after another and even small things like this pile up and eventually become overwhelming#and this happening as my seasonal depression is really ramping up was just the fucking cherry on top i guess#i almost just. deleted this blog lmao. what's the point of having a book blog when i can't really read right?#but i keep telling myself nothing lasts forever and i will regret it if i throw away an 8 year old side blog#but even looking at books is making me feel even more nauseous and shaky right now#so i might be on hiatus after my queue runs out idk#depends on how long this churning pit of despair lasts i guess#and also. this happened at a holiday weekend all i can't even make a 1-2 hour drive to a library to renew or get a new card#because libraries around here close between 4 & 6PM most days and i can't get to one after my partner gets home from work before they close#everything about this situation is like. worst timing.
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keeps-ache · 2 years
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yeah sure i'm awake but i'm also. awake.
cost
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melhekhelmurkun · 3 months
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Is it just me or do the Slytherin and Hufflepuff common rooms (famously located in the dungeons for some fucking reason) just seem like the absolute worst for depression
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