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zuzu-draws · 8 days

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So after the spoilers for Chap 257 dropped, I saw some tweets clarifying the meaning of the Kanji Sukuna used in the chapter when referring to his mother, and the overall reveals in the chapter got me thinking.

I’m making this post as a way of gathering my thoughts, personal speculations and where I think all of this connects to Sukuna’s character and the information Gege has given us over the years. Nothing I say is by any means new information, but like I said, I’m just collecting my thoughts here. By the way, just a warning, this post contains SPOILERS for the JJK Manga! If you don’t like that, please don’t read this!

Something I’ve noticed is that the theme of “Hunger” and symbolism of “Cooking/Food” is heavily referenced with Sukuna throughout the Manga. Gege in a previous Fanbook has disclosed Sukuna’s favorite Hobby to be “Eating”.

This theme is again very much ingrained within Sukuna’s cursed techniques and even his Domain Expansion, the “Malevolent Shrine”. With his two main techniques being “Dismantle” and “Cleave” are cutting-type attacks. He is also able to use a Flame-Arrow, and Fire is essential for making Food. The Shrine in his Domain Expansion literally has mouths on all sides, looking eager to chew down anything in-front of them!

This symbolism also heavily influences Sukuna’s own manner of speech, and the way he speaks to other characters in the series as well. With his post-fight chat with Jogo before his death, Sukuna mentions Jogo lacking the “Hunger” to take control of his desires, preventing him from reaching the heights of Gojo Satoru. Before the Start of their fight in Shinjuku, Sukuna called Gojo a “Nameless Fish on top of his cutting board”, and that he was going to start by “Peeling off the scales”(refering to Gojo’s infinity). There’s also further symbolism that supports this by analyzing the Kanji and meaning of Sukuna’s “Malevolent Shrine” but I’m not very educated on that so I won’t be opening that point here.

What all of this points to is that Eating and Food……is extremely important to Sukuna, to the point that it literally affects him in manners innumerable.

Eating is an instinct, a necessity for the survival of every single living being.

And In the face of extreme Hunger and starvation, even those with the strongest will could lose their Humanity and revert to the basic animalistic side of their existence. (The Heian Period also had a Famine, although I believe the timing to be a bit off, but do with this info as you see fit)

In JJK Chapter 257, it is revealed to us that Sukuna and his Twin were most likely starving in the womb of their starving mother.

On the brink of starvation, Sukuna had to consume his “other self”(his twin), so that he could survive.

Btw, this tweet and this thread gives additional characterisation to Sukuna:

Link to the original thread: Link.

More context (and reactions :P):

Link to original thread: Here

This reveals to us that indeed, Sukuna was born a twin. And as we all know, “Twins” are seen with extreme scrutiny in Jujutsu Society, they’re not well liked. This too in a period where Cursed Spirits and Jujutsu Sorcery was at its peak, it is not far-fetched to assume that his Mother may not have been treated very well by the people in her surroundings, especially as she bore twins.

When Kashimo asks if Sukuna was born the Strongest or if he made himself the Strongest, this is the response Sukuna gave to him:

When you think about it, how do you think the people around them would have reacted when the woman: who was supposed to birth two twins, gave birth to a single child instead? and that child had consumed his other twin in the womb itself?

No doubt people would’ve been horrified, disgusted and even revulsed. With the woman and her newborn child.

This would’ve led to their further ostracisation in the already very close-minded society. Unable to fend for herself and her newborn child, it must’ve been difficult for Sukuna’s mother to survive. I feel like somewhere along the line, Sukuna was left alone to fend for himself at an extremely young age. To protect himself from both Curses and Society alike.

This is why I believe Sukuna knows what true starvation, weakness and hunger feels like. Both in the emotional and literal sense. He was left without another person caring about him or his well-being, in a cut-throat period where it was “Fight or be killed”.

Powerful curses roamed all across Japan, nowhere was safe. Simply be strong, or you'll die. There's no room for weakness. And initially, a kid!Sukuna was weak, as anyone would be in the beginning when they're just starting out in this world. (and maybe, he didn't have much to eat, leading to long periods of starvation? :') )

I believe it is this debilitating hunger, and feeling of weakness that eventually led to Sukuna’s current Hedonistic mindset.

He’s essentially traumatised by it, and believes that it was his own weakness that led him to experience this sheer starvation. That he deserved to feel this way because he was weak then. Perhaps, the people around him were right, that as long as they have the power and strength to overcome anything, they’re free to do as they please; And there is nothing anyone else could do about it.

I feel like the irony here is that Sukuna himself, must’ve been a “weakling” before eventually rising the ranks to become History’s Strongest Sorcerer. This is also why he values Strength so much.

Ultimately, Sukuna has decided that there was nothing more important than being strong enough to fulfill your own desires. And “eating” is one of his most important desires. It’s his favourite thing to do, the one he derives the most pleasure out of. And like an animal, whose main focus is to consume, consume and consume. He too, simply consumes.

Most morals likely have no meaning to him. He doesn’t care who he hurts, what he does, as long as he’s able to get what he wants. And this isn’t limited to eating.

This is why people referring to Sukuna as a “Natural Disaster” is so befitting of him. Because Natural Disasters also don’t care about what or who they’re destroying, they just come and go, wreaking havoc appropriate for their nature and magnitude.

I believe Sukuna himself has said lines similar in nature, when talking to Kashimo:

Now I’m not sure how Sukuna perceives or even experiences this “Love”, because I think he has a rather very warped idea of it. I do think that this definition of love is similar to the one that Gojo also understands, but I don’t think he knows what “love” truly is. I’m not sure how I could comment on this, but I do think that Sukuna’s emotionally starved, whether he realises that or not.

Because, like Kashimo himself asked Sukuna “What is the point of dividing your soul into 20 different parts and then traversing across time if you’re satisfied with this?” we do not know the answer to that yet.

But many people have speculated that “Black Box” panels in JJK manga represent a curse (either self-inflicted or put by someone) on the speaker. Like, take a look over here where Sukuna reiterates the same dialogue, except it looks like he’s trying to reassure himself:

This once again shows that Sukuna has only ever strived for himself, in the same hedonistic fashion, to a very very extreme degree. It is possible that he's been lacking something, and he himself does not realise that he’s lacking it. Maybe it was this subconscious feeling, that led to Sukuna agreeing to Kenjaku’s plan of dividing his soul into 20 different parts, and to traverse across time as a Cursed Object.

Sukuna’s an incredibly complex character, and I’m excited to see where this goes. Gege has put extra care in the way he characterizes and depicts Sukuna, and again, I’m really sad that a lot of that characterization gets lost in translation. Still, I’m going to try my best to understand and get the most accurate feel of his character as I possibly can.

If you made it this far, Thank you for reading! And if you would like, please do leave a comment in the tags or replies because I would love to read what other people think of this and just Sukuna in general. I do not see a lot of people doing critical analysis of him, and a lot of his actions are seemingly swept under the rug. I don’t like that, so hopefully this contributes to people focusing more on Sukuna and his character. (/^v^)/ <3

#ryomen sukuna #jjk sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna #king of curses #heian era #character analysis #manga #jjk manga #jjk 257 #this is...so very long omg im sorry for my huge word vomit #like 1.4k works but i really did felt like i wanted to gather my scattered thoughts into one place and kind of make the connections #not sure if anyone is gonna read this but if they do #thanks for reading! be sure to let me know what u think!#i just love psycho-analysis of my fav characters and being able to really understand the essence of their characters #their emotions their motivations and to finally be able to do that with Sukuna and reading what everyone else have to say about it ahhh #im super excited! We're finally getting close to the Heian Backlore!! rejoice!!#my gut always did tell me he was a tragic character T_T and now we're finally getting the tid bits #also apologies for adding different panels #but i only added the translations i liked #i don't like J*hn W*rry's translation like yuck #so ima wait for Lightning's translation notes~ for further clarifications!

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jenscx · 5 days

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[15] CALL ME BACK — last friday night

9.57pm: ning yizhuo’s party

the moment you had replied to wonyoung, a voice rang out from the crowd, yelling your name. you turn your head, making eye contact with the tall beauty, smirking at you.

“hey, sweetheart,” wonyoung waves slowly, her eyes dragging up and down your body, “gracing me with your presence?”

you laugh, “only for a few minutes, i’ve got to settle things with sakura.” wonyoung tilts her head, reminiscent of a puppy. her bunny eyes stare at you, “what? i can’t hear you.”

before you even attempt to repeat what you said, wonyoung interrupts, “let’s go somewhere quieter.” her cold hand grasps around your wrists, pulling you to a secluded room upstairs. ningning’s party playlist and the sound of people cheering drowns out, only leaving the soft ambience of ariana grande’s voice in your ears.

“so!” wonyoung smiles, “what were you saying?” she settles on the massive guest bed, taking her heels off and massaging her swollen ankles.

“kkura and i have to talk, so i can’t stay for long,” you repeat, eyes trailing around the room. you wonder how wonyoung even knew that this room would be empty. in a party like this, it would be expected that all the rooms would either be full of people smoking, or having sex.

“talk? talk about what?” wonyoung asks curiously. you sigh, thinking about the impending headache of an argument that is your relationship.

sakura was a lovely girlfriend; she always took care of you and never complained about your clingy nature. but she never really liked the company you kept around, mostly avoiding hangouts that you tried to arrange between them.

(“i’m friends with jungwon, but you can’t be friends with my best friend?”

“jungwon’s not my best friend, so your argument is invalid. i’m not going five feet near park sunghoon.”)

“i didn’t tell her about this party,” you frown, “she found out ‘cause sullyoon tweeted about it.”

“oh? you didn’t? why not?” she asks, getting up and rummaging through the cabinets.

“don’t know. just didn’t think it was important enough to tell her.”

it still wasn’t, in your head. you didn’t need to tell sakura if you were going to a party or not. it wasn’t like you lied straight up to her.

“maybe she has some trust issues, it’s kinda common nowadays,” wonyoung suggests, pulling out a bottle of alcohol, “found it!”

“how’d you know it was there?”

wonyoung grins, “ning told aeri and aeri told me. secret stash hidden away from the party.”

she sits back down, taking a chug out of the bottle.

“what’s up with your relationship then?”

you take a moment to think.

“it’s mostly a me thing though, sometimes i just do things to annoy her,” you mumble as wonyoung hands you the bottle, “mhm, thanks. her reactions’ funny. i do it just to make her angry.”

wonyoung laughs, “ah, is that why?”

“yea, she gets annoyed easily,” you giggle, thinking about sakura’s furious texts flooding your phone whenever you did something.

“you’re interesting,” she remarks, “deliberately making her angry. when did you guys meet?”

“we met at a party, park jaemin hosted it. she was introduced to me by one of yoona’s friends, i think her name’s haewon? sakura was the one who asked me out first, it was quite cute,” you smile, the memory of a stuttering and blushing sakura appearing in your mind.

you continued with your story, taking sips every time wonyoung passed you the bottle.

“cute,” wonyoung comments.

“hm?”

“your relationship,” she clarifies, “it’s cute.”

giggling, you nod. “sakura’s a cutie. ugh, what was i supposed to say to her again? i think she’s mad at me.”

“you’re meeting her later?”

“yeah, i need to apologise…” at this point, your words were completely slurred. wonyoung watched in amusement at how you struggled to stand up.

“i don’t think you’re in the best condition to talk to her, or even walk. maybe you should sober up first.”

you nod, completely out of it. wonyoung’s angelic face was just a blurry figure in your eyes.

“let me… just sleep… wake me up in 5…”

“okay, y/n. sleep well.”

masterlist | next

TAGS ! @jiwoneiric @yoontoonwhs @haerinsloverr @wallfl9wer @klvarchives @r4cjh @jisooftme @jeindall777 @chaersly @perfectsunlight @thefckghost @pagedpick7 @pinxeajin @pandafuriosa60 @limbforalimb @idkwhatim-doinghere101 @sewiouslyz @manooffline @geeminz @flolio @watamotee33 @winzzie @gayforalll @xszn

#call me back ft. jwy #ive #ive x reader #jang wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x reader #lesserafim x reader #lesserafim #miyawaki sakura x reader #sakura x reader

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crooked-wasteland · 5 months

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An SA Survivor's Reading of Stolitz

I don't believe that creators should be confined to telling one type of story. The beauty of fiction is to explore worlds, emotions and scenarios that are by definition unreal. It gives a safe space to interact with extremes that we would never necessarily wish to experience in our real lives with the ultimate safeword of no longer engaging with the material.

That being said, as creators, there is an ethical awareness that must be maintained in order to tell stories of things like trauma and abuse. Being alone in a cabin in the woods with a killer, that scenario is not a pervasive subculture in our society. Whereas cases of child abuse, sexual and domestic abuse are not only real, but common. And the complexities of psychological damage that perseveres long after the traumatic events are necessary aspects to telling these stories.

If you are not consciously aware and attentive to the lasting impact these events have, you run up against the horrific possibility of retraumatizing an individual unprepared for the callous invalidation of their experience.

No one should ever be shamed for engaging with media that depicts trauma they themselves may have experienced. For many, engaging in the fiction of it is a way of processing and validating their experience. Frankly saying, if you wish to write about trauma at all, you should be writing for that audience in specific. Otherwise you are simply exploiting the horrors that real people live through and struggle with every day for some cheap drama at the risk of triggering someone whose story you are inadvertently telling.

And much like most therapy speak, the term Triggered has become appropriated and misused to the point of losing all meaning in the lexicon. According to the University of North Carolina, "A trigger is a stimulus that elicits a reaction. In the context of mental illness, "trigger" is often used to mean something that brings on or worsens symptoms. This often happens to people with a history of trauma or who are recovering from mental illness, self-harm, addiction, and/or eating disorders."

The university breaks down the types of triggers as well and gives examples as to what those subcategories mean. I highly recommend that even if you are not the sort to follow up on references, I do recommend going over the article. It offers coping suggestions as well for those who are at risk of becoming triggered and helps refocus the sense of control back to the individual.

With that said, this is where I came across the inspiration for this essay. I completely removed all information for this user because the last thing someone needs when expressing how the misappropriation of abuse triggers them is how it is their fault for being triggered. These are the original tweets this response was in reference to.

As such, I feel the empathetic need to write this essay as a sympathetic reading to this person and others who have experienced SA who find that Stolitz resonates in an undesirable and even harmful way. I think this person deserves to feel seen.

To make the argument that the relationship between Stolas and Blitz isn't fundamentally abusive requires an author-intent reading of the series. It necessitates massive leaps to fill in gaping plot holes that never clarify the story Medrano is intending to tell. This is plainly just a reading of the series as is with all the context that has been physically, actually, shown in the series and that alone.

Throughout the series, Blitz is depicted as emotionally volatile and unpredictable with low self-esteem and crippling loneliness. He is constantly hounding his employees through sexual harassment from a sense of envy over their loving relationship, and infantalizes his twenty-two year old adopted daughter through an abusive dynamic where she ranges from rude to outrightly cruel while he consistently sacrifices any personal boundaries and self-respect.

The relationship between Loona and Blitz in specific feels like a masochistic self-hatred on Blitz's part where he allows himself to be used and abused by a parasitic family member to feel wanted, showing a pure desperation to be desired by someone in any way. Loona is verbally and physically abusive to her adopted father, using terms of endearment like "Dad" as a tactic to control Blitz's behavior, rewarding him when he does something for her benefit and taking it away when she deems him embarrassing or unwanted.

Blitz's tie to Stolas in the main story comes when he is called in a vulnerable time. Hiding from Martha who is hunting him down, he explicitly tells Stolas that now is not a good time to call. Stolas, who has a visual of Blitz's situation, ignores all of it. He is unconcerned about the danger Blitz is in, instead viewing Blitz solely as a sexual object as he offers the trade of the book for sex.

Stolas is more keenly aware of Blitz's situation than even Blitz is aware of. He not only is told that the current moment is not a good time, and Blitz's tense tone portrays a sense of anxiety, but he can physically see Blitz. It exists entirely within reason that he chose this specific moment to call while he knew Blitz was in a difficult position, using the tension to leverage a quick response that would get Stolas his way without needing to intimidate Blitz himself. Using the threat of a third party to pressure compliance from Blitz.

Come Loo Loo Land, the interactions between Blitz and Stolas are simply outright hostile. Blitz actively does not want to have a sexual encounter with Stolas and is even so untrusting of the Goetia that he is repeatedly asserting the boundary that he is not at all interested in sex, which Stolas explicitly mocks by being openly sexually suggestive to him. Everything Stolas has to say to Blitz is steeped in objectified sexuality as Blitz asserts his person, dehumanizing him to the point that Blitz is first and foremost an object of gratification. Even to the point of neglecting and humiliating his daughter, Stolas uses the excuse of spending time with her as a means of leering on Blitz.

In this episode we see Blitz has a history of being overlooked and unappreciated. His act in Loo Loo Land went nowhere and we see the first hints of his failed performance career. Over the course of the series, this hint towards a crippling lack of self esteem masked by an extroverted exterior is reinforced.

In Harvest Moon, Blitz is genuinely flustered when given recognition by Striker. He is quick to devalue his relationship with Stolas because there genuinely isn't a relationship at this point.

After having gone missing for two episodes, Stolas returns, being slightly less sexual and slightly more affectionate. It is a sudden recharacterization, but it is only for this scene. The rest of the episode once again shows how Stolas values Blitz physically in a sexualized manner and claims Blitz through the use of a pet name he repeatedly requests not to be called. In the opening scene, Blitz vocalizes that he "doesn't mind" their arrangement for the book, which could be taken at face value in regards to the first season. He does have the option to reject the agreement at any time and return the book in the context of this episode. It's why, despite still being an abuse of power dynamics overall, the relationship itself doesn't tip over into abuse. Blitz has the same amount of autonomy as Stolas at this time, before the context of season two, he has just as much power to end the agreement.

With the addition of The Circus, this retroactively is a situation of placating one's abuser. Blitz assuring Stolas that he doesn't mind the sex would be a way of asserting Stolas' complete control over the relationship and that Blitz isn't necessarily threatening the status quo by his question.

They don't actually know anything about each other, they aren't friends and don't spend time together outside of their forced meetings. Blitz doesn't know anything about Stolas and questioning the need Stolas has for his book could very well be read as a means of interrogating the agreement as a whole and figuring out why this was the arrangement.

(The argument that Blitz had any opportunity to negotiate things comes from an audience bias. It is probably the dumbest thing I have ever seen put into writing. Blitz doesn't know that he has any leverage in the relationship at all. He doesn't actually know Stolas has any feelings for him. That's kind of the whole point of the hot and cold romance slant that Medrano is trying to replicate.)

This is because the book is not the reason the relationship exists.

Blitz does not instigate sexual conduct, Stolas does by leading Blitz into a private room and locking them both inside with the impression Blitz would have sex with him. Blitz has no choice in the location or the isolation. He was caught trying to illegally break into the home for the explicit purpose of stealing the book. He was caught and is effectively at Stolas' mercy in every sense of the word. Not only is he still alive due to Stolas' whimsy, but if he tries to escape now after being shown this grace he could risk having the guards hunt him down and the second time will most likely not be so kind.

He literally does not know Stolas. They met for a day as a playdate and Blitz spent the whole time manipulating Stolas into facilitating his own robbery. There is no trust between them, there isn't even a relationship. While the doe-eyed pink vignette animated around Blitz shows that Stolas has an attraction to him, Blitz is entirely in the dark about this. Stolas' behavior is merely unpredictable and precarious from his position and limited knowledge.

(Just a side note, the argument that because someone decides to do something must mean they are not afraid is just asinine. Generally speaking, most people who commit crimes are in a state of fight or flight, it is more akin to gambling your actual life. Its a rewards and risks assessment, not a case of being sociopathically unafraid.)

It isn't until Stolas dramatically announces his desire for sex that Blitz realizes he has something that can be used to distract the Prince while he steals the book. And that's the issue with the argument that Blitz is the one willingly escalating the situation: it's not sincere. Throughout the entire sequence, Blitz isn't once sincerely interested in Stolas. He leans into the pretense to gain control of the situation, of which, might I remind you, he has had zero control over up to this point. Not only is he not interested in Stolas, but this is a bid for control from the position of helplessness. This way he is not relying on Stolas' unpredictable behavior, he is reclaiming power in the dynamic by playing into Stolas' desire.

("But Stolas says nevermind and Blitz keeps going!!"

Yeah, because he needs to maintain control of the situation. This is what power dynamics actually look like; there is a two-way push and pull. The only way he has any power is through the lens of sexuality. He needs to keep Stolas interested in him to keep his position. But throughout the scene, he is explicitly depicted as being put off by Stolas. In fact the entire reason he ties Stolas up is because he was becoming too into the act. He is shown to not be sensually performing bondage, he is trying to remove a problem.

And side-side note, I know I said I wouldn't lean into Medrano's intention or explicit dictation on how she demands her show be interpreted, but she was the one who said that The Circus and Loo Loo Land are connected in the timeline and Blitz's hostility in Loo Loo Land reads far more like a man who feels used and taken advantage of. So even the argument that Blitz was an enthusiastic participant is disproven by Medrano's own metacommentary and character interactions.)

And ultimately, it all boils down to that last moment scene. Between willingly having sex with Stolas when he is tied up or the book, Blitz makes for the door to leave. He doesn’t willingly engage in sex with Stolas. Either you can read the scene as a form of pity sex, which in the context of Medrano’s timeline and Loo Loo Land, shows Blitz was not enamored with the encounter or you have to read this as being manipulatively pressured into it. There is no way to argue Blitz has any leverage in the situation and no grounds to argue that it was mutually enjoyed.

That doesn’t even start to cover the fact that all the way to Ozzie’s, Blitz is repulsed by Stolas. When calling, he openly shows that this is something he would rather not be doing. He doesn’t have feelings for Stolas and despite just using the man who is using him, just having to deal with Stolas is distressing for him.

This is not an equal or fair relationship dynamic. It is not a mutual relationship. This is a relationship of self-preservation and coercion. And the fact is, it could have worked with very small changes to The Circus. Having the dynamic be actually mutual would have been a great start, but just properly addressing the actual dynamic and having Stolas take ownership of what he's done, and validating the fact that coercion is sexual abuse. Because out of all the sweeping changes, retcons and inconsistencies, the one aspect that has persevered throughout the show is just how trapped Blitz feels.

In Truth Seekers, Blitz’s hallucination is contradictory in its attempt to be visceral, and that is not inherently a problem. Trying to be abstract, it is normal for people to experience contradictory emotions over something. It makes sense in that way, but it needs reinforcement in the expanded narrative to tell it's story. As such I am just going to give my reading on the sequence based on my narrative and state it as fact.

The clown costume shows that Blitz sees himself as a joke, feeding into his low self-worth that no matter what he does, he is always the clown being laughed at. The murky wasteland is a reflection of his life. Devoid of anything bright or good, it is populated by dead trees and the ground is a quicksand like sludge, showing how he devours the good and extinguishes it in his own life. He kills his own happiness. Moxxie exists as a critical voice Blitz hears, telling him how stupid and awful he is to everyone around him. Blitz rejects his own self-criticism, reaffirming his self destructive victim mentality that appears when faced with the consequences of his own actions.

It's when the characters of Fizzarolli, Verosika and Striker appear that Blitz gives his regrets, insecurities and resentments voice, poorly impersonating the voices of those who saw the real him. Striker mocking Blitz’s need for companionship, how he lies to himself constantly and presents himself as independent and assured when really he sees himself as needy and pathetic.

Fizzarolli adds to it, pointing out Blitz’s failures to make it on his own, however this portion of the series should probably be considered non-canon as the newest episodes established that Fizzarolli and Blitz have not had any contact with each other since the accident. The more important line Fizzarolli says “You're going to die alone”, have been written out of the show. There would have been no time or place for Fizz to have ever spoken this to Blitz.

Then there is Verosika, who brings up Blitz’s self destructive tendencies, showing Blitz’s own abusive behaviors towards characters like Moxxie. It also suggests an explanation to why Blitz tolerates Loona, because her constant rejection of him contradicts his reactionary need to push others away, as well as feeds his self-flagillation.

It is when he endeavors to flee the reflections of the worst parts of himself that he runs into Stolas. Perched atop a pristine staircase of gold, being fanned by two silhouettes of Blitz. This shows the power imbalance in every way. Blitz doesn't even walk up the stairs, but crawls. Himself just a faceless accessory to Stolas’ desires, but everything he has intrinsically tied to the power Stolas' exerts over him. This is shown explicitly by the chains around his hands and neck, Stolas' reeling him in as he bears a grimace of reluctance. It is the most explicit representation of being trapped between two bad decisions. Either he is just the joke, the failure, the asshole, the stupid piece of shit, or he is the pet, the object, the toy. Stolas mentioning Blitz being "afraid to love" is less a suggestion that Blitz has any feelings for Stolas, but instead his psyche convincing himself that the relationship is not so exploitive. That he is not being dehumanized and abused, but on some messed up level he is being wanted and desired, which is better than the wastes below.

Maybe one could say that Blitz is being elevated out of his situation for how the feathers removed the costume and sludge, essentially wiping him clean of his worst self, providing a sense of safety. But he only has this opportunity because of Stolas, and it isn't free as shown by the feathers also becoming the chains binding him. Because at the end of the day, Stolas isn't the prize at the end of the climb to self actualization, the stairs belonged to him in the first place. To escape the horror-filled wasteland below, Blitz has to play by the rules of the owner of the stairs.

And ultimately, that isn't a story that is off-limits.

The Stolas apologist argument is why the depiction of this dynamic is triggering and harmful, not the fact that it exists in the media. Just owning the scenario and having Stolas acknowledge that he has sexually abused Blitz would have gone a long way. Instead, Medrano and the fandom have insistently represented this victim-blaming interpretation where Blitz is responsible for his own abuse. And that will never be okay. This goes all the way back to my "Not All Victims are Survivors" post. Blitz is the victim in this and his bad behaviour and own abusive actions directly correspond to the fact that he is a victim with a victim mindset. He actively lives in the middle of his abuse and has formed maladaptive strategies through manipulation, harassment, verbal abuse, and self harm. These do not remove his victim status. There is no such thing as a "Perfect Victim". And he should not have to be any sort of way in order to have that experience validated. And the issue that is at the heart of this show is that the narrative and the fanbase require a victim to be framed as delicate and hapless to circumstance with a soft and gentle personality to be a victim. To come out of abuse aggressive and harsh with sharp edges is framed as being less valid. But this outcome is normal and it's a difficult battle to work on oneself to feel safe again. It's absolutely a story worth telling.

But you first have to be interested in telling a story.

#helluva boss critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #spindlehorse criticism #vivziepop criticism #tw self destructive behavior #tw sexulization #tw sa

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 3 months

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01/18/2024 Crew Recap

TLDR; Summary: #HoistTheAds and Astroglide OFMD both happening tomorrow 1/19/24; UK Fans We Need Your Help!; New Hashtags/Petition Link; David Jenkins/RhysDarby/TaikaWaititi Troll us with Hidden Stuff; More Articles; Petition Status, News That Gives Us Hope for S3, and Rhys Darby in Shorts.

Note: Please feel free to let me know if I missed something important, if I'm incorrect, if the formatting pisses you off, or whatever, I take constructive feedback <3 thx lovelies.

Need to catch up on recaps? ofmd daily recaps

==Things You Don't Want To Miss Tomorrow 1/19/2024 and 1/20/2024==

EDIT: HOIST THE ADS: This might be starting at 12 EST - https://www.tumblr.com/renewasacrew/739916790295052288/join-us-in-just-over-10-minutes-at-midnight-est?source=share

#HoistTheAds is finally coming to NYC and LA tomorrow. There will be Flyovers, Billboards, etc. As of right now it looks like its just happening every few minutes on the billboard for the next day.

Tumblr Info

Twitter Info

==Astroglide Watch-A-Long at 1/19/2024 1 PM PST ==

To clarify exactly how it works, basically what they're doing is asking you to stream on the service of your choice starting at Season 1 Episode 1, and Astroglide (and Squishables might be joining) will be tweeting reactions as they go.

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=UK Fans! We need your help! @lamentus1 was kind enough to give us updates on the efforts going on over the UK!=

UK specific OFMD fans in groups on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook are trying to come together to push for the BBC to air OFMD Season 2 in the UK since they haven’t done so yet!

So many UK fans can’t actually watch the second season *legally* based off a tumblr poll that @lamentus1 did recently, and a third of fans who voted can’t even watch OFMD because it’s not on in their country!

The current plans are:

Email two key people at the BBC:

Sue Deeks (Brought OFMD to the UK) --- [email protected] Charlotte Moore (Chief Content Officer ) --- [email protected] Email Prompt: if you need an example:

Send Tweets regarding wanting Season 2 to Air on BBC on twitter (same hashtags from @renewasacrew I believe but it that's incorrect please let me know!):

BBC2 IPlayer

The ongoing twitter thread for this is here

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====New Articles ====

BBC fans fight to save cancelled show, with petition reaching 58,000 signatures

'Our Flag Means Death': Fans Rally to Save Cancelled Show'

Our Flag Means Death: Fans campaign to save queer pirate comedy

---Articles in Dutch---

Fans pikken cancellen van Our Flag Means Death niet en tekenen massaal petitie --------------------------------------------------------------------------

=Cast and Crew Seen in the Wild=

**START OF DISCLAIMER: This whole thread on Djenkins and Taika's mother in law is fan theory at this point, read into it as you will, but think of it like tabloid news**

The most exciting and I think ... brain candy worthy today was Rhys and David posting a BTS picture of Rhys in the colonial hat/outfit. It sparked some interesting ideas on the status of season 3.

I have to say, hats off to the folks over on twitter @fowlfiend for making this connection

Earlier today, Chaos Dad, David Jenkins posted the following picture of Rhys that Rhys shared on his Instagram with a song attached to it called "I'm a Man" by Jobriath.

Now, all well and good right? Rallying cry to all the crew! BUT Twitter folks think there's a deeper meaning and I'm inclined to agree.

How fucking cool is that? Thank you to @lamentus1 for pointing out also that Chaos Dad's post had the "three finger" I love you which is yet another 3 today.

Add to that, Taika's Instagram's been pretty quiet lately, and he happened to post a picture today of his mother-in-law @veraora on IG for her birthday, which just happens to have... 3 pigeons in it. Once again, thanks @lamentus1 for bringing this to our attention. ---also please wish VeraOra Happy birthday!

Now, could all of this be just coincidence? Sure, but where's the fun in that? Seems like we're going on a treasure hunt.

**END OF DISCLAIMER: This whole thread on Djenkins and Taika's mother in law is fan theory at this point, read into it as you will, but think of it like tabloid news**

===Other Chaos Dad Posts on Twitter===

=Hashtag Updates / How you can help=

@renewasacrew Has done some cool stuff and made saveofmd.com direct to the petition site. This should help with being able to share more easily. Full thread here on tumblr

Today's Goals and Hashtags Per @renewasacrew

#ArentYouGLAAD #SaveOFMD #TheNumbersWereThere

=Petition Status Updates=

Petition hit 60K all!!!! GREAT JOB! Just in time for Time Square tomorrow!!

I didn't see a drastic change on a lot of the fundraisers so I'm not adding those today--- I think we've had a big day as it was with the stuff around David posting without posting about season 3.

So I thought I'd end with some more info from our lovely @TheCozyPirate on twitter, the lovely person who exposed the information about how s3 was already in preproduction. They seem to have more insight in a lot of this.

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=So if your question is, is it making a difference? Why doesn't dad just come out and say it? Here's some insight:=

And this next one helps me to feel like we're still heading in the right direction. "If there were nothing viable, he would be able to say that. He would never, never let this go on if hopeless". I think is pretty uplifting.

Lastly, I think you all should be damn proud of yourselves with these calls, as a former Customer Support Person, I appreciate you all so damn much for keeping it kind and polite! Stede would be proud!

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Finally-- one last thing, since today's theme on tumblr is trolls getting all up in our faces, just remember you do not have to engage with them if you don't want to. If you want to have kind discussions, and you feel up for it, go for it, but don't feel obligated to defend the community.

We all know we care, we all know we're doing a great fucking job at taking care of each other, helping awesome causes, and still having fun while doing it. You don't have to prove to anyone that you are allowed to enjoy your pirate show that means something to you and spend a few bucks to support it.

Don't let people who are struggling with their own trouble take your light. Enjoy things, have fun. You deserve it.

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On a lighter note to end on: I have a serious question for all of you.

Who gave this man the right to wear these fucking shorts? Good god.

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rottenshotgungames · 2 months

Text

I want to start talking about my personal game design philosophy

Stop Saying “No”

Let’s be honest here, you’ve written a hard limit into at least one of your games. We all have, I certainly have. It’s one of those simple yet effective pieces of tech (one that’s existed since the dawn of games) that can be introduced to bring an option in line with some other option, or to prevent a scaling into eternity, or some other third thing. Maybe skills have maximums, or you can only use a certain number of consumables in a combat, or an item can only be activated every other scene or round. Whatever it is, you’ve written into your game a rule that tells the players, “No. You cannot do this thing.”

I think we overuse hard limits. My goal is to convince you that hard limits, that the “No” you’ve introduced into your rules, is the game design equivalent of junk food: easy to use and bad in large quantities.

My argument boils down to two simple points:

Hard limits are frustrating and boring

Hard limits limit your design

In addition, I will be detailing three alternatives to hard limits:

Costs

Consequences

Balance

Hard vs. Soft

Before we begin, I want to clarify the difference between a hard limit and a soft limit:

A hard limit can generally be defined as, "A rule which expressly forbids or otherwise disallows something, either in a given circumstance or in general."

A soft limit, in contrast, can generally be defined as, "A rule which disincentivizes or otherwise indirectly limits something."

Alright, on with the show.

Hard Limits are Frustrating and Boring

This is what I like to call the, “What do you mean I can’t use my telekinesis to disarm that guy??? That’s fucking stupid!” Put simply, people like using their toys, and people dislike being told they can’t use their toys for whatever reason. Even if you haven’t had as vitriolic of a reaction as the one described earlier, I’m more than positive you’ve felt this way toward some rule in an RPG at some point. Even if a hard limitation is completely reasonable, it can still be frustrating to encounter; I understand why I can’t raise my Skill levels above my character level in Pathfinder, but it was still annoying and saddening the first time I heard it.

There’s this tweet from a while back, in which one Mr. Joshy McCroo (@riseupcomus) argues that any hard CC that fully prevents you from taking actions is inherently poor design as it does nothing but frustrate the person that it’s used on. This is the very same concept, and for the very same reason: it’s just not fun.

The fundamental reason for the frustration caused by hard limits is that they restrict player choice. When you introduce a hard “no,” you often remove an opportunity to create interesting decisions, and decisions are the foundation of play. Boredom with a system or a situation is spawned by a lack of choice, by a necessity to perform the same action over and over or an inability to do anything. When you give players a variety of tools that can each be used consistently—particularly in tactical games—they will use those tools in interesting, creative, and fun ways; if you restrict those tools, restrict the freedom to use those tools as desired, boredom and frustration can set in quickly.

Hard Limits Limit Your Design

This point is less objective and far more experiential / personal. This isn’t meant to demean opposing views or differing design philosophies.

As stated earlier, hard limits are simple, effective, and easy to use. If you come up against a design wall, such as an option being too powerful or players over-centralizing, it can be easy to just institute a rule that says “You can’t use this constantly,” or “You can only have this many Gizmos™️,” but doing so will often deprive you of an opportunity to innovate or otherwise improve your design sense.

For me, learning design was a serious process of Example and Trial. I’d use reference points (such as RPGs or Video Games that I really liked) to guide me through tough decisions, and when I didn’t have that guide I’d just write and revise until something fit. Eventually, I realized that growing as a designer and developing my own philosophy meant expanding beyond (even if ever-so-slightly) my influences, and the balance shifted from Example(60)/Trial(40) to Example(30)/Trial(70). For me, the fun of design is coming up against these kinds of issues and seeing if I can develop a novel approach or take a stale approach and spice it up, and I feel myself getting better every time I try.

Hard limits are easy to use and generally (relatively) easy to implement, as such they offer less opportunity for growth.

Some alternatives to hard limits, and why you might consider using them:

Costs

Two prevalent examples of costs are weapon ammunition and (≥2) times per Scene/Combat/Rest/Day abilities (both of these can be found in D&D 3e onward and many of its derivatives).

A cost is basically just a hard limit that's been a few steps removed, but those few steps manage to turn it into a soft limit of sorts. Costs fundamentally take a hard "No" and turn it into a "Yes, but . . ."

This is probably the easiest alternative to implement, which explains why it's kinda found everywhere. Even spell slots in the Dragon Game are a form of cost limitation. It's also just a generally strong solution, usually removing a significant amount of frustration and adding opportunities for resource management gameplay. However, if not implemented with care or consideration for surrounding options, you could end up with people carrying over 500 arrows at any given time or once more falling into a set rotation of combat abilities that they perform round-to-round (thereby negating the boredom fix).

Consequences

This is my personal favorite alternative.

A consequence, like a cost, is a "Yes, but" that disincentivizes an option or changes how a player thinks about using that option. There are two major differences between a cost and a consequence:

Costs are always negative in nature (you are spending something as part of doing something), consequences can be but aren't necessarily negative.

Costs always lead to a state that acts as a hard limit (once the resource is empty, you cannot do the thing), consequences do not directly involve a hard limit.

Two prevalent examples of consequences are taking damage for doing something (such as the Stress generated by Blades in The Dark's flashback mechanic) and gaining / losing affinity with a person or faction (a la Over War: The Night Comes Down).

The primary benefit of implementing a consequence is the interconnection with other mechanics. Costs are relatively self contained—usually only branching out to a currency mechanic, a weight mechanic, or a leveling mechanic at the very most—because the threat of a hard limit somewhere down the line is often enough to change how players approach a specific mechanic or situation on its own; consequences, on the other hand, necessitate an understanding of and interaction with other mechanics in the system because they literally cannot exist without them. If using a specific ability is going to give you a status condition—for example—that status condition inherently affects other mechanics and how you interact with them as well, changing how you think about that ability and its place in your toolset pretty substantially.

As an example, there's a Priest ability in Hollow Halls (my fantasy dungeon crawler) entitled Glimpse The Plan. Glimpse The Plan doubles the user's Believe proficiency (stat used for casting Parable spells), but also afflicts them with the Blind and Afraid statuses (which are both pretty bad). The Priest playtester quickly realized that if he was Afraid all of the time, then he effectively eliminated half of the consequences—and wouldn't ya know it, there's an option to become permanently Afraid at character creation to increase your health.

All of that being said (and my favoritism clearly on display), consequences can suffer from a difficulty of implementation. Some consequences, particularly the taking of damage, are really easy to throw about haphazardly and thereby suffer from the same "limitation of design" problem that hard limits do; but escaping those, adding consequences that are unique and create interesting choices, takes time and care and an awareness of how certain mechanics can and do interact. Even the easier-to-implement consequences can often take a few tries to fine-tune.

Balance

This is simultaneously the simplest and most complicated alternative. To balance something here means to compare an option to other surrounding options, weigh the value of each, and slowly tweak numbers until they're all in line with each other. Generally speaking, the easiest way to do this is to craft an option as a baseline and balance everything else around that option, but there are times where you'll create a more powerful ability that you don't want to change, thereby causing it to become the new baseline and so on and so forth.

This alternative involves a lot of trial and error, a lot of guesswork, a lot of testing, and a willingness to add, remove, and change elements of any given option. It’s time consuming, stressful, and incredibly rewarding. I don’t recommend going pure nitty-gritty numbers-hound in every situation, or even in every game, but—if used properly—this option can create an incredibly healthy and interesting environment of options.

The primary strength of numbers balancing is that you'll probably be doing it at least a little bit anyways. Unless you're part of the "balance is for pussies" crowd, some amount of balance work will be done on every option you introduce into the game. This is kinda just, y'know, the logical extreme of that process.

All three listed alternatives can be used with each other, even on a single mechanic.

Conclusion

I do not think that hard limits are inherently bad. I really need to make it clear that I DO NOT think that you should never use them (as much as that may be suggested by the title of this post). Sometimes you'll be on a serious time crunch, or you won't be able to come up with a suitable alternative, or it's the most thematically or mechanically sound option, so on and so forth. There are instances in which it will be appropriate, or even preferable, to use a hard limit—but that doesn’t make an over-reliance upon them any better for you or the people playing your game.

Honestly, what I want people to take away from this post is very simple: every design decision matters. Even seemingly inconsequential choices with limited impact can have profound effects on an important moment for some of your players, and as such are worth considering carefully.

Self-Promo

Hey, I'm Gio. I run Rotten Shotgun games. If you wanna support me, or keep up to date on my work, you can find me on Itch.io at https://rotten-shotgun-games.itch.io/

Otherwise, I hope y'all have a great night and a great day!

#game design #ttrpg #indie ttrpg #indie gaming #ttrpg community #tabletop #i wrote this while struggling with intense anxiety #my one published game doesn’t adhere very well to this part of my philosophy #the next one will lol #Footfall RPG

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ingravinoveritas · 6 months

Note

Have you seen his latest tweet? He’s having one of his moments and is blocking people left and right. I got myself blocked for commenting on a comment… TF is this poop? 😒

@phantomstars24 Okay, so...I have seen what's been going on on Twitter with Michael and there is...obviously a lot going on. Let me first put up the screenshots of his other tweets, which followed the initial one in @ourtubahero-blog's screenshot (the first one is most recent):

I think there are a few things (well, a lot of things) that are getting missed in all this, specifically the context for why Michael wrote the original tweet in the first place. It appears that it was meant to be a reaction to this incident, which just occurred today in the UK:

The wording of Michael's tweet was not clear, and I also don't think anyone outside of the UK would readily know what he was reacting to, so straightaway this seemed to lead to a lot of misunderstanding. A large portion of the criticism of that tweet stemmed from people thinking Michael was taking a neutral stance on the situation in Gaza/Israel, which is what then led to him making a clarifying tweet in that regard. For my part, I did not interpret Michael's original tweet as neutral, but rather that he is and does stand with innocent people of every stripe, and wishes for there to be no more bloodshed or further loss of life.

Michael's subsequent tweets only seem to have compounded the problem, as they appear to have been made out of an emotional response on his part, which is not a good thing when it comes across as defensive. Emotions are running incredibly high right now, and sadly that is the time when misunderstandings are most likely to occur. In the interest of clarity, in his second tweet, Michael did not say that he had no time to do research, but rather that he "has no time for people telling him to do research." What I took this to mean is that he already has done research and thought very carefully about this entire situation, and therefore felt slighted at people implying that he had not.

The problem inherent in all of this, however, is that this is an extremely difficult subject to have nuanced conversation about, particularly on social media and especially on Twitter. This then leads us to the issue of blocking. I think what Michael was attempting to say (again, badly worded) in his tweet about blocking people was that he was blocking people due to what he perceived as personal attacks. This would explain people being blocked for saying apparently innocuous things, as Michael was on the defensive and does not really have that button in his brain telling him to stop or back off once he gets going.

It goes without saying that Michael seemingly blocking people indiscriminately is definitely not a good look (though it is not without precedent, as I remember well him doing the exact same thing four years ago, albeit under different circumstances). But what is also not acceptable is people sending him death threats, or tweets such as this falsely accusing him of horrific things. In this instance, it is more than understandable that he would have a strong reaction to being dogpiled and block someone, because no one should have to accept threats to their person on their own social media page.

I think what is also happening is that a lot of fans (not either of you who sent in these asks, for the record) are correlating online activism to activism in real life. Michael has always been about walking the walk and not just talking the talk, to where we know he donated almost all of his money to the Homeless World Cup in 2019. He is also a UNICEF UK ambassador and has visited Lebanon, Chad, and Guatemala to meet and help refugee children. All this to say that we have no idea what he has done outside of social media to assist refugees and victims, or if/how much he has donated to Palestinian charities or other relief funds for victims and their families. And for my part, I would rather Michael be clumsy with his wording on social media (again, not defending the indiscriminate blocking) and taking tangible action in real life than engaging in performative Internet activism that ultimately goes nowhere.

(Also, I cannot help but facepalm at people asking Anna to weigh in, under the assumption that a) She would even care about this; and b) She has any influence whatsoever on Michael's behavior, which it is abundantly clear she does not or else he would have stopped flirting with David years ago. I just really hope people do not tag her or expect her to have the ability to somehow "rein him in," because they will be very disappointed...)

So yes, I think what made Michael make a statement tonight after all this time was the above-mentioned MP. I think his intentions were likely good and that his heart was in the right place--as are all of ours, in wanting to protect innocent civilians and stop the horrific violence that is happening. But I also think that if Michael wasn't prepared to handle certain types of criticism, then it probably would have been better for him to say nothing at all, or at least certainly to not escalate things by continuously tweeting. I am also sorry for the fans who were hurt by his actions, because I know fans who have been there before, and it really sucks.

I am hopeful, however, that we can all step back and breathe once emotions are no longer so heightened and try to find a way to listen to each other and engage meaningfully. Because it is truly disheartening to see how things escalated so quickly tonight, and I want to believe that we as a fandom and as human beings can do so much better. I suppose only time will tell...

#ourtubahero-blog #phantomstars24 #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #twitter #Michael is a PR nightmare #because any PR person would have advised against this #and yet #i honestly get whiplash reading Michael’s Twitter sometimes #ignoring sometimes really is the best thing you can do #i have learned this from experience #i hope Michael learns it too #for his own mental health and well being #fandom woes #thoughts #discourse

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tiredsleepy-gd · 6 months

Text

People keep talking a little bit about the step father situation and I want to give my point of view

First, i was watching cellbit's pov so I don't know how it feels from Roier's pov

I think, as some other people said, that it feels a little bit more harsh that what roier intended it to be and you can kind of see it in the way cellbit gets a little sad after that interaction

Is roier right? Yes, Of course he is a step dad and is not a bad term, but the problem the cultural difference of the term that make it feel like roier is implying that he has not a place in that family

And this is something I understood after reading some of the Brasilian community tweets, for them is like you are not really a father, is a cold word and is implying a marked distance in the relationship, in our Hispanic community it just mean you are not a biological parent but still part of the family, that is where the total different reaction comes from

I was sad not because he was called step dad, I was sad because cellbit was a little sad and then he said to roier "your son"

Is the way if no one clarifies to cellbit what roier means, he is not gonna refer to bobby as his son, not even step son, he is gonna only be roier son so he can respect roier wishes

And that makes me so sad because for cellbit he is his son, is the same way bagi refers to richas as her son even though they haven't meet yet

I wanted to give my point of view of why people were sad about the situation

#guapoduo #qsmp #spiderbit

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itsgrimeytime · 6 months

Text

Magnolia in May (Part Twenty) || Rick Grimes (TWD) x Greene!f!reader Regency AU

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19...

Taglist: @loliakeoghan23 @belaballs @curlycarley @queenie32 @mgparker

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration (in honor of Speak Now Taylor's Version): Enchanted by Taylor Swift.

Summary: Your town was small, not the smallest you knew, but anyone of high fortune was the gossip of the week. Predictably, Richard Grimes was a thing of whispers -rumors of a search for marriage among the grassy hills. You weren't one to buy into town gossip, but something about him... just seemed a little too intriguing.

TWS: child abandonment, crying, parental death.

[[A/N: Happens just after the last one. Thanks for reading!!! ]]

Carol was the one who found you, the gray swirls of hair framing her face -she seemed quite busy, but she halted in her pace upon finding you. Blue eyes bright with a shine that you deemed to be concern, more than anything else.

"Ms. Greene? Are you alright?" she spoke, softly like she'd scare you if she spoke any louder. You weren't sure such an assumption was wrong.

"Yes," you sniffled, standing at the noise of someone else -wiping at your eyes, "-yes, I'm just fine. Just a... Just a troubling conversation, I believe."

"Troubling?" she echoed, grabbing your hand to guide you to stand, "-forgive my frankness, but it seems far more than troubling to cause such a reaction."

"It brought up a previous experience," you clarified, dabbing at your eyes with a handkerchief. It was a soft sort of blue, one of Mr. Grimes's -the smooth silk gave it away, "-something I hadn't thought of in quite some time."

"Do you need me to fetch Mr. Grimes?"

"No," you swatted your hand, and straightened out your dress, "-no. Please, he must be getting the children ready for dinner, I shouldn't cause such a scene."

"Are you certain?" She spoke, softly, "-I assure you Mr. Grimes will not be offended, he should be rather glad to offer you such comfort."

"I..."

She remarked slowly, trying to be quite convincing, "Dinner is not even done quite yet, so it wouldn't be a setback at all, madam."

You sighed, dabbing at your eyes once more, "If you insist."

"I do," Carol hummed, light and airy, "-and I assume he'd much rather be here than his cook."

"A fair point," you laughed.

She smiled a bubbly sort of one, "I shall fetch him, but please, take a seat on a chair. It's much more comfortable than the tile, ma'am."

"Thank you," you echoed, "-thank you."

The seat you chose was by the window, the beautiful outdoors calming you, despite the swirling sea storm in your head. It was a bit disturbing, something so turbulent inside you merely outright deturbed by the outdoors.

If you were focusing a mere inch more, you couldn't sworn the sweet melodic sound of a bird had been the only noise to come from outside. Meanwhile, you...

You sighed. A big, airy sort of sigh.

The sound of shoes on the tile brought you out of the trance, the tweeting of the birds so distantly played in your head. Part of you wished to go out into the courtyard, to trace the leaves underneath your fingertips then.

"Ms. Greene," his voice echoed down the hall, blue eyes flickering over your face, "-What did she say? Are you alright? I never should've-"

"Mr. Grimes," you sighed out, almost in relief, "-sit with me? I believe asking such presence will calm me."

"Of course," he whispered, softly, as if you could break, "-of course, anythin'."

"You don't know how much this means to me," you whispered, eyes downcast at your skirt, tracing along the stitching, "-I'm not sure I can speak such things, but I do hope you know."

"I don't need to," he turned to you, holding your hand gently with both of his own, "-I'm quite happy enough to do anythin' you ask."

"Mr. Grimes," you laughed, the sniffles a mere breath away from giggles, your head tilted back, "-I cannot ask you to be so attentive to me, that seems quite manipulative, does it not?"

"Not if you don't wish it," he hummed, bringing your hand to his lips for a quick press, "-you aren't manipulating me if you aren't approving of such attention."

"I suppose you have a point."

"I would do anythin' to keep you smilin'," he spoke, "-even at my own expense. Which is why I must ask-"

"You wish to know what she told me," you answered, slow and tentative, "-I believe you deserve to know, Mr. Grimes."

"Only if you wish to tell me," he responded.

"I do," you echoed, "-I do. I just wish... I believe I should speak to Carl first, pending your approval."

"Carl?" Mr. Grimes questioned, "Did she speak to you of Carl? Of the children?"

You sighed, fidgeting with your skirt fabric, "She urged me to take her place. With the... With the children. She wished me to mother them."

"I could never believe she'd instill such pressure upon you-"

"I wish to do it, I do-" you continued without thinking, "-I just know what it is to miss a mother, to lose one. I don't want to fail you or replace her... I just... I was struck by the loss of my mother-"

Mr. Grimes held your hand tighter, but he spoke nothing.

"And I just wished she could see what she was doing to the children-"

"Breathe, please," he remarked slowly, "-I find you are already caring for them much better than I ever dreamed, don't fret yourself."

"I haven't done anything," you conceded.

"You have, you are-" he hummed, roaming closer, "-You care for 'em, don't wish them to be hurt as you are. You wish they could be cared for, properly."

"Mr. Grimes-"

"I love you," he echoed out, "-you care for my children and I love you."

"I love you too..."

"I'll schedule you to meet with Carl after dinner," he responded, finally, "-if you wish to speak with him, I imagine you have a good purpose."

"Are you certain?"

"With you?" he hummed, certainty stirring in his eyes, "-Always."

#rick grimes #its griming time #stuff n' thangs #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction #twd #twd rick #rick grimes fanfiction #rick grimes oneshot #magnolia in may

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time-is-restored · 1 month

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im seeing so many people say that sophietexas said shit she unequivocably Did Not Say so like. just for my own peace of mind.

when dream asked what she'd said about him/george, she explained that she had tweeted a friend's misogynistic experience with george (without details), which she took down because it 'caused more harm than good' and 'it was becoming more about me [than the victim]'.

they shared a screenshot of the tweet with him

dream, assuming there was more to the story (apparently he'd been told she was talking shit about him?) asked what else she'd said. he also asked why he/george wouldn't know what incident she was referring to if it was 'that bad'

sophie clarified they only tweeted about george, and said the interaction in question was not assault, and they wasn't accusing george of that

dream asked for more details, accusing them of not wanting to 'hear another perspective'. basically saying it wasn't fair that they'd say this shit when it could be a 'miscommunication' or not true

sophie said again she wasn't going to say anything else because it wasn't her story to tell

dream said that was ridiculous, and asked why they'd had positive interactions in the past if she was so negative towards them now

sophie explained george had ignored them + therefore been rude, didn't mention the context, and DREAM said it 'probably happened' in an among us lobby. made a comment about how he'll 'never know' why they don't like him

sophie said she didn't like his attitude. dream said it was hard to have a nice attitude when he was getting texts from people asking why everyone on twitter thinks he's a 'serial rapist'

sophie said that the conversation was getting unproductive, and that she wasn't going to expose her friend. she said she doesn't wish for dreams downfall, and she just wants the creator space to be safer

now, about what she DIDN'T say/do:

she did not accuse george of 'being a misogynist because he ignored her in an among us lobby'. she mentioned that they had been in among us lobbies when dream said he didn't remember her. separately to that, she said that george had ignored her when they'd spoken. seperately to that, the misogynistic behaviour accusation was her sharing a friend's personal experience. all she ever said was that george was rude to her.

they did not accuse george of assaulting anyone (aside from expressing support for caiti), and they clarified that their friend's negative experience was Specifically Not Assault before they deleted all related tweets.

she did not accuse dream of literally anything. i cannot emphasise this enough. dream clearly thought/was told that she said something abt him, and kept asking what 'else' she said apart from the tweet (which she willingly showed). again, all she said about dream was that she thought he was nice, and now thinks he has a bad attitude.

sophie did not share her friend's story in detail because that wasn't what the friend wanted. if you think that's shady, please consider that dream went public in order to accuse connor + sophie of saying shit about him/george without having proof. if sophie had named her friend, or given details, that knowledge would've become public too. then please consider the reaction that caiti has received these past few weeks, after accusing george of something george admitted to. consider the ways people are still calling her a liar, or a clout chaser, or of exaggerating/changing her mind and calling it assault after the fact, after george has agreed that what she said happened happened. would you, knowing that context, want to expose your friend (who already didn't want to come forward personally!) to that level of scrutiny and judgement?

leave sophie the fuck alone come on guys. their 'crime' is not liking george or dream and expressing that to dream's face. they made a tweet on behalf of a friend which they took down bc they felt it was detracting from caiti's story. that's literally it.

#anyway if anyone looks at this interaction and genuinely cannot understand why sophie wouldn't give more details #like. i don't know what to say to you. a statement as mild as 'george ignored me' was met with interrogation #downplaying and acting as if she was incorrect for feeling hurt. that's not how interpersonal conflict works interestingly enough #anyway. sophietexas PLEASE get behind me holy shit #ppl are acting like they cussed him out and accused him of war crimes. she literally said he had a bad attitude can we please get some #perspective #sophietexas #sa cw

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1ovede1uxe · 2 months

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09. just something to think about┊ ┊⋆ beyond the stars

italicized text is your thoughts!

Five arduous hours later, your hand crafted dune buggy of a car was up and running. You only prayed that your father's extensive knowledge on cars he attempted to pass on to you was somewhat accurate.

Everyone toppled into the car, up until you yelled out "HOLD IT!" Everyone's heads snapped toward you, a look of concern decorated the men's faces.

"I want shotgun." Everyone let out a sigh of simultaneous relief and annoyance. "What? I made the damn car let me sit up front in it."

"Oh good grief. "

"You're gonna give this old man a heart attack!"

Polnareff got out of the shotgun and squeezed himself into the trunk, the only remaining space. For the first time in a while, an awkward silence settled in the back of the car, each occupant lost in their own thoughts and/or devices.

The hum of the engine seemed louder than usual, filling the void left by the absence of conversation, until Avdol broke the silence.

"So (y/n), tell me about your stand in full. I'm truly curious, especially since it's not aligned with the tarot."

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, caught off guard by the sudden inquiry. "Uh, sure," you began, trying to gather your thoughts. "I named it after a song I liked. As for its power..."

As you delved into the description of your stand's abilities, Avdol listened intently, nodding along at certain points as he absorbed the information.

"So forgive me for asking, but how did you and Kakyoin end up together?" Avdol's question came out of left field, causing you to nearly choke on your own spit. You whipped your head around to gauge Kakyoin's reaction in the back, only to find him seemingly unfazed. "HA!" Polnareff chuckled from the trunk, enjoying the unexpected turn of events. Both Jotaro and Kakyoin had noise-canceling earbuds for car rides, much to your relief as you mentally thanked whatever divine force prevented Kakyoin from hearing the question.

"Oh, Mr. Avdol, Kakyoin and I aren't a couple," you clarified, trying to mask the discomfort in your voice.

I mean I wouldn't really mind. Even solidification of his feelings for me would be nice.

Avdol seemed taken aback, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Forgive me, I had just assumed over his gaze at you as he complimented Midler earlier on, as well as spending time together on the island."

You chuckled awkwardly, feeling the weight of the misunderstanding hanging in the air. "Yeah, I guess we do spend a bit of time together," you admitted, taking a sip of water to fill the uncomfortable silence that followed.

"I guess its just something to think about."

Mr. Joestar finally had caught up with the conversation after another minute or so. "Wait you and Kakyoin aren't a couple?!" You sighed and facepalmed as Polnareff continued to giggle to himself. You had returned to your devices until you reached your destination

previous chapter // next chapter // masterlist

Mariah is on private so the crusaders don’t see her tweets 🤞🏻 also aw kakyoins finally figuring out his feelings :3

Sorry for the shorter chapter! Tried to make this one a little more social media based, I'm honestly struggling to write out Iggy the Fool and Geb's N'doul. Hopefully it'll be out soon! I have a very busy month, so I wanted to get this chapter out a little earlier than usual in the month. I'm also beginning to edit some of the earlier chapters. As always, constructive criticism is always appreciated. taglist is open! you can request through message or askbox!

Thank you to everyone on my taglist and all of you who interact, your support means the world <3

taglist: @kerto-p, @pancakesyrupthief, @kakyoinslastcherry, @marvelmayo

#jjba #Kakyoin x reader #beyond the stars #jojo no kimyō na bōken #kakyoin noriaki x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #joseph joestar #jotaro kujo #jjba headcanons #noriaki kakyoin #stardust crusaders #self insert #jjba smau #modern au #Polnareff #muhammad avdol

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wildpeachfarm · 1 month

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Look, I don't like caiti, but we should give her a benefit of doubt and give her some time. George also took some time to collect his thoughts and make the videos, we should have expected her ro make some time as well.

Do I think it's a fucking terrible and cowardly to basically accuse someone of SA and then go ghost for a week? Fuck yes.

But it is what it is, and if she only just returned from being disconnected, shes probably only just seeing all the reactions all at once. I hope she's actually reflecting on her choice of actions and words and will finally stream to just closed this whole thing out.

I'll would just give her one more week grace.

Personally I haven't lost all hope with caiti and will continue to give her time. However, at least with george he only took a day or so extra compared to his original tweet and after that was pretty timely with his other response. I do think that since caiti started all of this, she should have either clarified more on her timeframe or just kept people updated.

And this is 2024, she is not ever totally disconnected from the world, I'm sure she sees what is happening.

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag

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mable-stitchpunk · 4 months

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Dazed and Amused- TADC fic- Teaser

It was a typical day in the Digital Circus.

Everyone had just gotten finished unclogging the pipe maze of an infestation of surprisingly aggressive gummy worms. A fantastic adventure that was clearly just Caine giving them busy work that he didn’t want to do himself.

��Excellent job in snaking those drains! And in record time too! You should allll be proud of yourselves. Look at Bubble, he’s thrilled! He’s so happy! He’s… Bubble, goodness me, STOP. Whatever you’re doing, please!"

Bubble turned to face a cringing Caine with a mouth overflowing in half-chewed gummy worms. Them slowly sliding out of his mouth as he replied.

“Sowwy boss.”

“Ahem, in any case…” Caine turned back to the others with a little spin of his cane. “I think you all deserve a just reward and a day out, soooo… We’re going to the DIGITAL CARNIVAL!”

There were some mixed reactions amongst the group, but one was very vocal.

“Really?! Hurray!” Gangle cheered, clapping her ribbons. Her comedy mask still stuck firmly to her face. It was a wonder with how lost she had gotten during their excursion.

As a matter of fact, it was the longest Gangle had gone in a while without breaking that mask. So, instead of her typically sulking self, she was overflowing with excitement, bouncing in place.

And it was all because Jax too had gotten lost in that stupid maze. He gave the masked tangle of ribbons a slightly irritated look.

“Ugh,” he groaned in exaggeration.

He made a show of it but, much to his continued displeasure, Gangle took absolutely no notice of it. Someone else did though, the ragdoll standing directly to his right who quickly chimed in.

“Well, you’re the one who’s always claiming that everyone’s too gloomy. You should be happy she’s happy,” Ragatha whispered to him.

“I said she was being a drag. I didn’t say I wanted her to become annoying,” Jax clarified.

Ragatha rolled her eyes from him to Pomni. Giving her a ‘are you hearing this?’ sort of look.

Pomni looked back with a visibly uneasy look replacing her tired one from a few moments ago. That was right, Ragatha realized. Pomni hadn’t gotten a chance to go to the Digital Carnival, and she could only be wary at Caine’s enthusiasm.

“Don’t worry, Pomni. This is going to be fun! The Digital Carnival is great, really,” Ragatha assured.

Before Pomni could even reply, Caine literally inserted himself into the conversation by popping up in between them. It made Pomni jump and even Ragatha took a partial step back in surprise.

“And now it is even better!” he proclaimed. “I have updated it with more rides, more attractions, more prizes, and plenty more bug fixes!”

“Bugs?” Kinger snapped his head over with a confused blink.

“Oh yes! The, erm, minor issues from last time are a thing of the past! For example, the roller coaster- the cars no longer fly off the track!”

“Aww, but Caine, that was the best part! Coming down at breakneck speeds and then fl-ying off at the turn and breaking our necks,” Jax mockingly complained.

“I’m sorry, Jax. I know you like the thrills, but safety is this park’s number one concern!” Caine insisted, Jax’s shtick flying right over his head. Caine then leaned in and whispered behind his hand- loudly, mind you- “We also have a tunnel of looove~.” He winked.

“Oh that’s…” Ragatha said back with an awkward smile. She stole a look to Jax and saw the absolute look of offense and disbelief that was now on his face. She squeezed her hands together. “That’s great.”

Jax looked at her with just straight-up disbelief now.

“It is! Especially for any love birds tweeting about,” Caine hinted. If that wasn’t obvious enough, he then nudged Pomni repeatedly until he was sure she got it too.

Ragatha only kept smiling to cover her embarrassment.

“I think you’re tweeting outta your- Wait, if we’re going… Shotgun!” Jax suddenly cried. He thrust an arm up in the air as his face broke into an eager smile.

Ragatha pursed her lips as she realized what she had inadvertently let happen again.

“Why, you eager beaver you! Of course you can drive, Jax! I appreciate the initiative,” Caine complemented.

The others weren’t nearly as thrilled. Gangle was making sure to hold her mask on, Kinger got a downright dazed look, and Zooble gave a loud groan.

“God, Jax, didn’t feel like giving anyone else a chance?” Zooble asked.

“Nope! You snooze you lose, Picasso,” Jax said, strutting by.

“What just happened?” Pomni asked for clarification.

“Jax is driving again,” Ragatha sighed. She rubbed her arm. “He’s… a little bit of a leadfoot.”

“…Wait, we have a car?!”

Ragatha laughed a little. “You could call it that… but I wouldn’t.”

“…That doesn’t bode well!” Pomni said with a tense smile.

#The Amazing Digital Circus #fanfic #Dazed and Amused #Ragatha #Jax #Pomni #Caine #Bubble #Gangle #Zooble #Kinger #Please for the love of God Bubble stop that #Caine is unsubtle #God help them once they get in that car

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merionettes · 1 month

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part 1 of how rubicon got written is here. this is part 2, aka the essay about etc.

the thing about the storyboarding/drafting process that there is no way to describe is how totally obsessed i was for the duration. afterwards i tweeted something like, this is the closest i've ever experienced to demonic possession. i would get up, write all day—like, all day—and go to bed. turn off the lights. then i would just lie wide awake in the dark with lines and scenes and dialogue scrolling through my head until i gave in and opened my notes app. i could not turn it off even if i wanted to. and i didn't want to, i was riding that streak as far as it would take me. because i couldn't look down, right? i could sense what i was attempting to do and anything other than total tunnel vision full speed ahead eyes on the prize would mean i had to acknowledge it.

(context of what made this possible: i was unemployed at the time.)

for the first ~50k or so i was afraid that at any minute i could falter. when i got to the nationals meltdown, that was when i knew i could do it. like, no matter what happened after that, i had the willpower and the chops and i knew where i was going. even if the streak died.

but it didn't. i wrote 100k in a little under 4 weeks. i've never experienced anything like that in my creative life.

—then obviously i had to get a new job and come back down to earth and it took 21 months to get from there to posting the epilogue. still. i will probably be chasing that high for the rest of my life. that was the part that like… made the rest of it possible. no matter how difficult or frustrating it was. that generated the roadmap.

i've talked about this before in comments but i had insanely strong opinions about what was "right" and what wasn't. sylvain's narrative voice was a huge part of that. it's inextricable from the content; it shaped the story; it is the story. for the first couple months it also made me an unhinged stylistic tyrant. if there was one single unnecessary word that struck me as inorganic, as existing solely to make the sentence more digestible or to convey information beyond the fourth wall, it had to go. i could not rest until it did.

once again: this is not generally the relationship i have with writing. lol. it's the demonic possession talking. this is why you have a ton of sentence fragments and stylistic tics and a refusal to let one single shred of information into the text that did not strike me as something sylvain would plausibly think or acknowledge he was thinking. and like, yeah. probably it didn't always make for the smoothest reading experience or the most satisfying narrative development. i'm dead certain there are people who picked this fic up and the bumps drove them out of their mind until they threw in the towel. i just didn't care.

part of that was a reaction to my own old style—you know, the discomfort of shedding old skin. i'd look at those early scene attempts and see all the habits and crutches i'd been trying to move away from over the last two years and double down on The Voice. but part of it… i would get early feedback that wasn't at all wrong, like "what if [clarifying narration]," "what if [more interaction]," and i'd just think, but that's not true. in exactly those words! which is crazy.

(this is why it was fortunate this was fanfiction i was writing for free, i didn't have to compromise my bonkers experience any more than i wanted to.)

to be clear this feeling didn't last two years. i was eventually able to edit like a normal person. it did last probably longer than ideal. and the point when i was no longer running on unleaded creative adrenaline was when i started to really struggle with the middle of the story. i had to make choices as a writer, instead of relying on the purity of my divine vision or whatever, and i second-guessed myself a lot. it was much easier to feel that absolute bone-deep certainty of Right and Wrong, True and False. and the thought of fucking up when i'd gotten so far was unbearable—like, being so close to making the thing in my head reality and then dropping the ball and breaking the suspension of disbelief.

distance also made it possible to perceive what i was doing and be like, jesus mer what the fuck are you doing. why are you devoting so much of your time to a hobby, why are you investing so much of your life in something you will never be able to truly share, why are you living in a hole with no one else in it. why are you putting yourself through the wringer to get it down "right." why does it matter if it's as good as it can be. why do you care. why is this worth it.

i assume this was pretty obvious before this post, but if not it must be now. this story isn't really about figure skating. for me it's about writing; who knows what it's about for you. i didn't sit down and think, great, felix will be a metaphor. that's just how it happens.

the experience of writing a novel for the first time: i'm saying this with my whole chest because at one point i wouldn't have, aloud. but what's the point in calling it anything else? i know exactly how much i invested in this. i'm the only one who can know. that's sort of the point.

here's a giant collage of the inside of my head. i made it for myself and i take it very seriously. not exactly groundbreaking to say this is the ultimate exercise in solipsism. when you're doing that—what greater gift is there than to have someone else meet you in exactly the same place. any writer would kill for the kind of responses this story has gotten, and i don't mean praise. i mean the close reads, the free response essays, the total and complete validation that this thing inside your head that only you can see is real, actually. when i say thank you, it's not for liking it or praising it—it's for taking it seriously. i loved this thing. i still love this thing. thank you for taking it seriously.

#rubicon #writing

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