Tumgik
#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.
Text
Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
12 notes · View notes
tgrailwar · 1 year
Text
Tumblr Holy Grail War: Wave 5 - Day 2 (Team Saber and Team Assassin)
Tumblr media
A quiet path. Saber, brimming with magical energy wandered down it, swords rattling to her side, before stopping abruptly.
Musashi: "So, you're the Servant I was looking for, huh?"
She seemed to speak to nothing, before a figure emerged from the shadows. His face shrouded in darkness, a burning red, deadly eye analyzing her stance with immense swiftness.
Izou: "…The Niten Ichi-ryu, huh?"
Tumblr media
That seemed to catch the wandering samurai off guard.
Musashi: "You're familiar? I wasn't expecting to run into someone who could recognize my style from just a glance?"
Izou: "…'Familiar'? What, as if the legendary Miyamoto Musashi's style was obscure? But still... you one of his disciples or somethin'?"
Musashi: "Ehehe. Something like that, yeaaaah. But you're a swordsman too, right? I can tell. Well, let's settle this like samurai instead of Servants, okay? This might be my last fight, so I want to do it right!"
The assassin paused, before nodding. His Masters could feel a tug on their mana connection, as he shifted his Spirit Origin. He'd never let himself be seen like this normally. Dignified, rather than ragged and bloodstained. The appearance of a warrior that had disappeared into the depths of history. He smirked, raising one sword to his shoulder, already beginning to mirror her style as both of their mana signatures began slowly rising in anticipation.
Tumblr media
Izou: "Heh, a disciple of Miyamoto Musashi wantin' to 'do it right', huh? Sounds like bull, but I'll play along. I'm Assassin. Guessin' you're Saber?"
Tumblr media
Musashi: "Was it the swords? Aw, well, maybe not, since you've got 'em too! But yeah, I'm Saber. Let's make this a good fight, Assassin!"
Izou: "Same to you. Don't disappoint me, Saber."
Musashi has been boosted by her Master's Command Spells!
Saber elected to attack Assassin!
Assassin elected to attack Saber!
Musashi has [2] wounds!
Izou has [1] wound!
Based on skills, augmentations to the final score are:
Miyamoto Musashi: +10% Okada Izou: +12%
Active Skills:
Miyamoto Musashi (Saber)
Fifth Force (A) - Instead of a 3% boost to 1-on-1 confrontations as per 'Saber' restrictions, it's instead raised to 8%. If victory over another Servant during a combat poll is above 50%, the opposing Servant gains two 'wounds' instead of one.
Battle Continuation (EX) - If she loses a confrontation while on her final wound, if there's only a 10% difference between the scores, she can slip out unscathed.
Musashi's Command Spell adds +5%!
Okada Izou (Assassin)
Man-Slayer (A) - When fighting a Servant that possesses a wound, gain a +3% boost. When fighting a Servant that possesses 2 wounds, gain +5% instead.
Swordplay as Swift and Powerful as a Falcon (A) - When going up against another Servant 1-on-1, gain +7% to final combat poll results instead of +5%, and reduce their combat poll results by 3%.
35 notes · View notes
frosted-night · 3 years
Text
Jack Frost Designs Review
Yes it’s finally his time. This is going to include his book designs including previous incarnations in said books. There are more movie concept designs than book so, let’s dig in shall we?
Tumblr media
This was in fact the first ever Jack Joyce designed while he came up with The Guardians Of Childhood. He even comes with his own backstory! (Which was cut. Sorry Joyce posts walls of text so it’s a girthy read.)
Tumblr media
So instead of a young mischievous trickster, we got a much more depressing story of Jack. (Jack by default is sad obviously) but this one... It kind of hits differently and almost reminds me of the story he crafted for Pitch. A dad who tried to defend his family but through tragic events was ripped from them and changed completely. Design wise, he’s a lot more tree than snow. There doesn’t exist a colored version of this so we’ll never know if he sported winter and dull dead leaf colors rather than grassy greens.This Jack has a weird presence to him, I can’t put my finger on it. Rating: 6/10 He’s really neat! Just a little too Autumn feeling rather than a blend of both Autumn and Winter.
Tumblr media
Nightlight feels like the baby evolution if Jack was a pokemon and that's what I’m gonna stick with. Below is a more recent version of him colored.
Tumblr media
In all honesty that one is easier on the eyes proportion wise because sometimes Joyce has ‘interesting’ anatomy choices but we aint going into that today. It’s interesting how his hair somehow looks shorter and longer than Jack’s at the same time. Could be because the longer strands float seamlessly but star boy hair physics what can ya do. It’s a little hard to tell what is his skin and what is his armor, so that is a casuality in making a character only have one or two colors in their color scheme. I love other artist’s depictions of Nightlight but the canon one feels a little weak color wise. Rating: 5/10 Sorry, get some better LEDs and then come back.
Tumblr media
Here we have a book Jack but I can’t entirely recall if this was used in the books or not. I digress. This design looks like him still wearing very Nightlight-esque armor/clothing and slowly growing into his new persona as Jack Frost. The intricacies are hard to make out but we’ll work with it. This one is very interesting to me because he very much looks like an older teen close to young adult. His hair looks very fluffy too. Not many complaints about this one but not much praise either.
Rating: 6/10 Not great but doesn’t stand out that much.
Tumblr media
Remember when I said Joyce had ‘interesting’ anatomy decisions? Jack looks like he has half a head here and it bothers me GREATLY. This is the adult Jack design he went with. Supposedly he likes the opera and he sure looks it. This! Exists!! Kind of wish it didn’t. The outfit is nice but it just doesn’t fit Jack as a whole. This just screams to me that it’s someone else with a similar-ish hairstyle.
Rating: 3/10 Guess he’d be the...Phantom Of The Opera. (I’ll go home and so should he.)
Tumblr media
And finally the final Jack. This is the one that almost exactly resembles the Jack we got in the movies(Probably because it was made after the movie but w/e) but just add a cape on him. I can’t really tell if hes got a hoodie and a cape, or just a cloak+hood on top of a sweatshirt. It isn’t too important because my thoughts on this one are obvious. Rating: 10/10 Edna Mode would have a field day with you boy.
MOVIE DESIGN TIME
Tumblr media
Joyce claims this is a design he drafted when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered to voice Jack and I can kind of see that with how his face is drawn here. This Jack looks a lot more like a warrior and less of that trickster look. I can’t say I’m a fan of the weird antenna his hood has but his sword is really cool looking.
Rating: 4/10 Nice bow and sword but it can’t save your fashion choices.
Tumblr media
This looks like a lanky 11-13 year old who would put rocks or slugs in my shoes and relish in my disgust. He has the exact look of a snot nose kid and I’m unsure how to feel about it.
His various hairstyles drafted here sort of make him softer looking or just more of a snot nose, no in between. Maybe even an Anime Protagonist.
Tumblr media
The top right one almost looks like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon if you squint. It’ll be a little hard to rate them all as one individual but why not.
Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate them but they aren’t my cup of tea.
Tumblr media
AH- IS THAT A FUCKIN GREMLIN?
Tumblr media
Oh wait no it isn’t he looks like a 10 year old. Whatever don’t feed him after midnight. The staff’s design of not being shaped like a G is an interesting tidbit but the whole design looks like he’s really young or like a troll etc. This Jack looks like he thinks girls have cooties uses outdated slang.
Rating: 4/10 This is me being generous.
Tumblr media
It honestly looks like he hiked his pants up all the way to his chest. A late teen with horrid fashion choices once again. Not many other thoughts here.
Rating: 2/10 Get a sweater on or something.
Tumblr media
This is one is very interesting looking to me. His clothes looked a lot more leather based and very human-like. The tatters, tears and frays all make him look like he was a victim of an accident that never changed his clothes. It makes me wonder if this Jack had the same death as the final movie Jack or something else entirely. Either way, this one looks like hes a mid to late teen which really adds to my intrigue.
Tumblr media
This was another image that greatly resembled the design so I included it here. It almost looks like his skin is blue here which is pretty neat to me at least. He’s also got leaf motifs here, which from the first Jack design Joyce made, we can see a pattern here.
Rating: 8 /10 I was originally weirded out by his head but now its not so bad.
Tumblr media
This Jack is definitely dressed more like a nature boy rather than him having human influenced fashion and it’s an appealing touch. The tiny leaf sprouting from his staff is also kind of cute since the designers seemed to want to put leafs somewhere on his designs. His hairstyle is also very cute but it reminds me of Sasuke Uchiha in a sense. (Not a setback for me at least)
Rating: 7/10 13 year old Jack is going thru a phase.
Tumblr media
I thought this Jack didn’t show up again in story boards but I was wrong!
Tumblr media
They look a little different from each other but just similar enough to pair together, so bare with me. The first one obviously has looser pants, slightly longer sleeves and got his leaf motif going. This second Jack is a VERY green. It gives the impression that this Jack made his clothes out of plants and natural materials. Again I’m not wholly sure if greens fit his color scheme but they sure went for it for a while. I can’t say I’m a fan of it because it heavily reminds me of Peter Pan.
Tumblr media
However a very similar looking Jack could be found in this storyboard. It doesn’t look as green as the other storyboards made it out to be and looks more like dead grass. Which is a pretty nice touch.
Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate it but it just doesn’t vibe yknow.
Tumblr media
Speaking of a vibe...hoo this certainly has one.  This Jack isn’t old but certainly doesn’t look very young, maybe in the 20-30 range, thats just me. He has facial features that remind me of Pitch but resembles the Jack Frost of Santa Clause 3
Tumblr media
That being said, I wondered if him looking similar to Pitch was in the storyline of them being brothers.(Which was a scrapped thing, who knew.) He’s a bit more menacing in this design but certainly seems like he relishes in his work.
Rating: 4/10 I’d make it a lower score but I gotta give it props
Tumblr media
NOW THIS JACK IS KINDA INTERESTING. This one looks like he’s 16 and going through a grunge phase. He’s gonna play Nirvana loudly and not turn it down even if you tell him too. His staff itself has mini icicles hanging off of it and leafs look stuck to his shirt. Did you glue or staple those on Jack? His hair also looks much longer than his other designs and I kind of dig it( Shut up I’m bias.) I’m not wholly sure why else this design has stuck with me but it just has something about it that I just love. I wish there was a full body drawing of it.
(He also kinda has the same hair as the Jack Frost in Runescape but I wont go on about that hoo hoo)
Tumblr media
Rating: 9/10 *Bad Boy by Cascada plays in the distance*
Tumblr media
This one definitely feels like middleschooler trying to be in a band. His sticks just resemble drumsticks to me what can I say. I’m a big fan of his shoes and his color scheme screams a hibernating tree in winter. His hair also looks like it’s covered in frost rather than it being wholly white, which is very neat!! He looks like he wants to fight but has slight hesitance. Overall a very balanced Jack.
Rating: 8/10 He’s ready for band practice
Tumblr media
Not many thoughts here, I just found these tiny Jack designs cute. His hoodie being a jacket instead just adds to the charm of this one.
Tumblr media
No talk to him he angy.
Rating: 6/10 fun sized boi
Tumblr media
Now this Jack resembles the one earlier that dressed entirely in leather brown colors, however he clearly is different than that one. I’m gonna say it, he looks like a zombie or undead in this design and its pretty fucking gnarly. I don’t know whats going on with his hair but I’m gonna assume it’s just the wind making it look like that. He just has the vibe that he was once human but was turned into something else entirely. It isnt in uncanny territory but borders that. This version of Jack meeting Pitch and the others would have been *very* interesting. Rating: 7/10 Eat a twinkie Jack you’ll feel better.
Tumblr media
The final design! I can’t complain much about this one. The way his staff subtly has a G shape and a hexagon(his signature shape) is a wonderful touch. Additionally, the way the frost is gathered mostly where his hand is such an intricate detail. His signature hoodie is iconic at this point so I can’t bad mouth that either.(I can’t anyway because there's no complaints from me here.) Although, I never understood the leather straps that his pants had or their functions. I couldn’t find any colonial outfits that resembled Jack’s pants so its a total mystery to me at least.
And I can’t go on about this design until I mention the snowflake pattern in his eyes
Tumblr media
Pure beauty. It’s at a hue of blue that almost looks impossible to have, combined with the electric blue color of the snowflake in his eyes. The amount of detail in this movie amazes me to this day. Rating: One Great Blizzard <3/10
635 notes · View notes
jj-babebank · 3 years
Text
Camp Willowdale / JJ Maybank AU / PART 5
Tumblr media
Synopsis: Camp Willowdale is buzzing with new campers. It’s Caroline Windsor’s first year as a camp counsellor after attending the camp as a camper for ten years. Little does she know that this year Willowdale Lake is going to be a little different from what she is used to it being… Warnings: future chapters may include curse words, mentions of drugs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual activities, mentions of death. Pairings: JJ Maybank x fem OC Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4 Masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 5 -
53 days of camp left
The first day at Camp Willowdale was usually pretty straightforward – campers arrive, sign in, move into their designated cabins where they meet their counselors, then all gather in the Wildcat Lodge to get their schedules, maps, badges and compasses. Ever since Pricilla’s daughter left her, she ditched the idea of having a stable with horses at camp (saying it reminded her way too much of Wendy, and also cost a lot of money to maintain), and settled for scavenger hunts in full scout mode in the forest, hence the compasses and badges. Every camper was given a first badge for participation and would get the chance to earn new badges to add to their collection during their nine week stay. Pricilla made sure that there was a badge for literally everything – from successfully starting a fire to throwing out the trash. She liked to do this to make all the campers feel included and special, which on its own sounded like a wonderful thing, however her actual motives were selfish – happy kids meant happy parents, and happy parents meant money. She also liked to turn everything into a competition, so she established a scoring system that nobody but her understood, where she’d award or deduct points from different groups and the group with the most points at the end of the summer will be crowned conquerors of the camp at a made up end-of-summer event Pricilla named the “Camp Will-all-hail banquet”. Caroline always found the name to be extremely tacky, but much like mostly everything that Pricilla put her finger onto, it wasn’t surprising.
JJ and Caroline had gotten assigned to Teens 2. Unsurprisingly, everyone in their group was almost their age, which seemed like somewhat of a recipe for disaster, as Caroline feared that this could result in the teens refusing to follow orders from someone who is basically their age. She was pleasantly surprised to find out that their group of teens was actually quite well-mannered and well-behaved. John B and Sarah’s teens, however, were a whole different story.
“You sure you got T2 and not T1?” panted Sarah after finally sitting down at the counselors table beside Caroline for dinner.
Caroline smirked, “Positive,” she confirmed, not being able to hide her amusement at the sight of an already tired Sarah, “Why’d you ask?”
“Oh, no reason,” said Sarah sarcastically, “Well, besides all the girls, and I’m pretty sure one of the boys, having a massive thing for John B, and them all quite literally being the spawns of Satan, hm… no reason,”
Caroline laughed at Sarah’s words, looking over at the table where her group and Sarah’s were seated at. Two of the T1 girls were giggling while telling a story, while everyone else’s attention was on them. Caroline came to the conclusion that they would be the It Girls at this year’s camp, bossing everyone around. She couldn’t help but laugh at the irony that it was Sarah who got these two as they were literally mini versions of her.
“Heard my name being called,” John B slid onto the bench across the table from the girls. Now that everyone had been sorted, the Wildcat Lodge seating area had been rearranged so that the groups would be sat together according to their ages, and the counselors would be sat together according to their groups. The head staff had their own table at the very foot of the podium, right next to where the food was, conveniently.
JJ was quick to join their group at their respective table, “What’d I miss?”
“Oh, nothing,” Caroline said nonchalantly, “Just Sarah being jealous over her girls liking John B, no biggie,” Sarah kicked her under the table, earning an, “Ow!”
John B’s eyes immediately shot up, that familiar twinkle of excitement swimming through his honey orbs, “Jealous?”
“As if,” barked Sarah, squinting her eyes at him threateningly.
“We’ll see about that, baby cakes,” John B winked, diving into his dinner.
“So,” said JJ, lowering his voice in case any of the neighboring tables were listening, “What’s the plan, guys?”
Caroline shook her head, “I don’t even know where we could start, I mean, the only clue we’ve got so far is that message we had to scrub off the rock this morning before the campers arrived…”
John B thought for a second, “Hey, wasn’t Topper paired up with her?” he said suddenly.
Caroline’s eyes widened in realization, “John B, you’re a genius!” she said, earning a proud smile from the boy, “Last night at the counting, Topper said something about feeling guilty for not offering her his jacket!” the four of them turned to look towards Topper’s table. He was sitting quietly, barely poking at his food, while the rest of his fellow counselors were having an animated conversation around him. Caroline turned back towards her friends, “Chances are he was the one who saw her last!”
“Yeah, and judging by the look of his face, he doesn’t seem too excited about it,” remarked JJ.
“Can you blame him? I’d be pissed if I was paired with Madison, too,” muttered Sarah, scrunching her nose at the leafy salad in her plate.
“Tonight at the bonfire,” said Caroline, “Sarah’s going to offer him some help with his girls, seeing as he’s dealing with all of his kids alone,”
“Hey, why me?” Sarah frowned at the plan.
“Because you’re the one who had a massive crush on him back in the day,” Caroline whispered in Sarah’s ear, resulting in Sarah kicking her under the table again. Caroline bit back a groan as she smiled forcefully, looking at the two boys in front of her, “Okay, well, sounds like we’ve got a plan.”
-------------------------------------------------
After handing out the songbooks and marshmallows to all of their teens, Caroline, JJ, Sarah and John B took a seat at their designated log next to their groups, which had somehow bonded during dinner and were all laughing together.
“Alright, settle down kids!” Pricilla said, causing everyone’s chatter to die down, “As you have already been informed, it is a Willowdale tradition to perform our very own rendition of Bomfiara every morning and night until the end of camp. The songbooks you’ve been kindly given by your counselors contain the lyrics to all of the camp songs we’re going to be singing this summer, but I’m sure that by the end of it you won’t be needing the books anymore,” Pricilla fake-laughed at her own joke while everyone just started at her blankly, “Okay, well, let’s sing!” she gave the tone and everyone started signing.
“This is so lame,” said one of the girls Caroline proclaimed as “It Girls” earlier that evening, “We’re too old for this BS,”
“You got that right,” mumbled Sarah.
“Oh, come on, I love it, it used to be our favorite tradition!” whined John B.
The two girls squealed and started pinching each other, immediately opening their songbooks and joining in on the singing, making intense eye contact with John B with their best seductive looks. Sarah rolled her eyes at the scene.
“See?” she whispered to Caroline, “This is what I meant!”
Caroline smirked at the blonde girl, “Am I sensing… jealousy?”
Sarah scoffed at the remark, “Pf, yeah right,” she said defensively, “I’m just annoyed that they’re only listening to what he’s saying and we’re supposed to be counselors together.”
Caroline nodded slowly, pretending to be buying the story, “Yeah, sure,” she turned to look at Topper, who regardless of the fact that he was surrounded by his group and fellow counselors, still seemed down, the camp fire illuminating his distant face, “Speaking of together, when do you wanna go talk to Topper?”
Sarah followed Caroline’s gaze towards the boy, “Once this stupid song is over,”
Caroline nodded and both girls turned towards their group again, where the It Girls were still making sexy eyes at John B, who seemed totally clueless to their approach as he was belting the lyrics of the much familiar song out loud, waving JJ’s hands every so often.
Once the song was over and everyone got back to their regular chitchat, Sarah stood up and straightened her shorts and camp sweatshirt as she made her way towards Topper.
“Hey, Top, this seat taken?” she said, referring to the empty spot on the log next to him where Madison was supposed to be sat.
Topper looked at Sarah as if she’d just said a distasteful joke, “Hey, Sarah…” he muttered, “Obviously not,”
“Awesome!” Sarah smiled widely, plopping down next to the boy.
“So,” Topper started awkwardly, “What brings you here?”
“Saw you from across the pit,” she explained directly, “Couldn’t help but notice that you seem lonely,”
“Yeah, well,” Topper looked at her with a look of disapproval once again, “I sort of am,”
Sarah pretended to only just realize what he was talking about, “Riiight… So, about that,” she chirped again, “Last night you said something about a jacket?”
Topper sighed, “Yeah, Madison said she was cold when we were in our cabin and instead of offering her my jacket, I sort of felt… relieved that she was going to leave me for a second to go grab hers. I should’ve known that something was wrong when she was gone for over 10 minutes, instead I just laughed around with Kelce and the boys and then we heard the scream…”
Sarah rolled her eyes, “Oh, please, you’re not blaming yourself for it, are you?”
“I mean, I kinda am,” Topper confessed, “If I wasn’t too caught up in being annoyed that I’d been paired up with her, I’d have just given her my jacket or followed her to your cabin to get hers and none of this would’ve happened,”
Sarah tried putting on her best apologetic smile as she reached for Topper’s hand, taking him by surprise, “Look, Top, I hate Madison just as much as the next person, but I hardly think any of this was your fault. She probably just used the jacket as an excuse to ditch and got excited to see her rookie boyfriend, hence the scream,”
Topper frowned, “Don’t tell me you actually believe all that?”
Sarah shrugged, “I mean, she was a drama queen,”
Topper pulled his hands away from Sarah’s, shaking his head, “Just go, Sarah,”
Sarah looked over towards her friends across the fire pit who were all staring at her in anticipation, as she shrugged her shoulders and mouthed them a, “Sorry, I tried,” making her way back to where they were seated.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Camp has finally officially begun and so has the search for truth ~~ As always, let me know what you think, I hope you are enjoying the story so far, I'm super excited to be writing this xxx
tags: @k-k0129 ; @hayleyy-l ; @marvellover04
Part 6 here
53 notes · View notes
grailfinders · 3 years
Text
Fate and Phantasms #202
Tumblr media
(Woof, we were almost a day late. Sorry about that, just got a second job. The first one at Facebook isn't working out that great. Anyway!)
Today on Fate and Phantasms we're getting a little bit beastly with the help of Atalante (Alter)! Move fast, hit hard, and outlast anyone who gets in your way. She's a Beast Barbarian for some beastly armaments and extra mobility, plus a Brute Fighter to hit harder and last longer.
Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!
Next up: They say every mentor learns from his students. This next servant really took that lesson to heart.
Race and Background
This Atalante is still a Shifter, but thanks to that beast's hide she's wearing, she's now a Beasthide Shifter, giving her +1 Strength and +2 Constitution (Thanks, Tasha!) She also gets Darkvision, Keen Senses for Perception proficiency, and a Toughness that gives her proficiency with Athletics. The big purpose of the class, however, is Shifting. You can transform into a fuzzier version of yourself for up to a minute once per short rest. Because you're a beasthide, your shift is a bit tougher than most; you gain 1d6+your level+ your constitution modifier temporary hit points, and your AC goes up by 1.
You're also still an Outlander, giving you Survival proficiency to live off of hydras. You would normally get athletics too, but you've got that already, so grab Persuasion instead. You're able to keep Yagas together, that's no small feat.
Ability Scores
You might be a wild animal now, but your speed is still your greatest asset, so your Dexterity should still be pretty high. Second highest now is your Constitution, that hide you've got on is really tough. And distracting, I mean you look like a goddamn Power Rangers villain. You kill things with your bare hands, so your Strength has to be up to snuff too. Your Wisdom is also above average, the Yaga seem to like you fine. This means your Intelligence isn't that great- you're not Chiron's star pupil this time. Finally, dump Charisma. You're a terrible liar, and you're hard to get along with.
Class Levels
Barbarian 1: Starting off as a barbarian makes your AC even better, thanks to Unarmored Defense. Now you can add your constitution and your dexterity modifiers to your AC while unarmored. (I know you technically get armor later, but it completely avoids your vital organs, so I'm not counting it.) You also get Rage, spending a bonus action to make you stronger (advantage on strength saves & checks), tougher (resistance to physical damage) and more brutal (bonus damage from strength-based attacks). Oh right, you also get proficiencies. Strength and Constitution saves, plus Intimidation and Nature skills. You're a scary wild animal, yes you are, yes you are!
Fighter 1: You still need weapons though, and rather than wait for two levels for your subclass, we'll go into Fighter right now for an Unarmed Fighting Style. You can punch people for 1d6 damage (1d8 if you have two hands free), and you can deal damage to grappled creatures if you start your turn holding onto them. You also get a Second Wind, healing yourself as a bonus action.
Barbarian 2: Second level barbs can make Reckless Attacks; you get advantage, your enemies get advantage, everyone wins! Except your enemies, because they'll all be dead before they get a turn. You also get a Danger Sense that gives you advantage on dexterity saves. You're still kind of a cat, I guess.
Barbarian 3: Third level barbarians set down a primal path, and the path of the Beast is for those who want to rip and tear, until the job is done. Right now you get a Form of the Beast when you rage, giving you one of three natural weapons. You can bite, dealing 1d8 piercing damage and regaining HP once per turn if you're bloodied. Otherwise, you can use your Claws to deal 1d6 slashing damage, and you get one extra attack with them per turn. The last one's less in character, but you can still grow a Tail if you want, dealing 1d8 piercing damage on attack, and you can use your reaction to apply a d8 to your AC against an attack that hit you. You also get Primal Knowledge in another barbarian skill. Pick up Animal Handling, it might help with the Yaga.
Barbarian 4: Bump up your Strength for better fighting. Real simple.
Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbs get an Extra Attack each attack action, as well as Fast Movement giving you an extra 10' of speed each turn. Turns out, you're fast! Who knew!
Barbarian 6: Sixth level beastbarians find their Bestial Soul, making their rage weapons magical against resistances. Whenever you finish a rest, you can also Self Evolve in one of three ways. You can gain a swiming speed and breathe underwater, a climbing speed that negates the need for climbing checks, or you can add an Athletics check to your jump distance once per turn. Normally, you can make an 8 foot long jump without runnig. Now you can jump a distance between 15' and 34'. It's a pretty good jump boost. The jump is the most in-character, but feel free to evolve whatever you need for the situation.
Barbarian 7: Seventh level barbarians grow even faster, with their Feral Instincts giving them advantage on initiative rolls, and you can ignore a surprise round by raging. Which you'd probably do anyway, so just roll with it. Speaking of raging, when you do so, you can make an Instinctive Pounce to move half your speed as part of the bonus action. You're not as fast as your archer self, but this'll help close the gap.
Fighter 2: Yep, we've got enough primal stuff, time to make it hurt. Bouncing back to fighter now gets you an Action Surge. Once per short rest, you can add an extra action to your turn, no strings attached. Use this to attack and you can hit people four times per turn, or five times with your claws!
Fighter 3: Third level fighters get their martial archetype, and becoming a Brute makes you a bit more heavy-handed. Your Brute Force lets you add a d4 to every damage roll you make with your weapons, and the die grows as you level up. This means your teeth are now arguably as strong as a greatsword.
Fighter 4: Another ASI! Bump up your Strength.
Fighter 5: Unfortunately, the fifth level of fighter gets you absolutely nothing. Extra attack doesn't stack like that. :(
Fighter 6: Use this ASI to grab the Mobile feat, for extra movement and the ability to shut down the attacks of opportunity from anyone you tried to hit this turn. Getting hit is for slow people.
Fighter 7: Seventh level brutes get Brutish Durability, adding a d6 to every save they make, up to and including death saves. If this brings a death save to a total of 20 or higher, you automatically pop back up with 1 HP. Barbarians tend to make the most death saves out of any party member, might as well be good at it.
Fighter 8: Another ASI! Grab the Martial Adept feat for a superiority die (1d6) that you can use to perform one of two Battle Master Maneuvers once per short rest. A big part of this build is adaptability, so the final say in what maneuvers you get is up to you. That being said, I highly recommend Ambush for a boost to stealth and initiative rolls, or Maneuvering Attack for even more mobility. It adds damage to your attack, and you can let one friendly creature (including you) move half its speed without provoking opportunity attacks from the target.
Fighter 9: Now that you're Indomitable, you can re-roll a failed saving throw once per long rest. I know berserkers are glass cannons in FGO, but that's just how they flavor their easily tricked nature, really they're hard as hell to fight, even if you've got fireballs and shit.
Fighter 10: Tenth level brutes get a bigger Brute Force die, now you add 1d6 to every attack, so your hands are as powerful as a greatsword. You also get an Additional Fighting Style, so grab Superior Technique for a second superiority die per rest and a third maneuver of your choice.
Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack, and this one does stack, so you can attack up to 6 times per turn, or 7 with your claws and your action surge.
Fighter 12: Use your last ASI to become Resilient to Dexterity saves. You get +1 dexterity, and proficiency with that kind of save. So yeah, you now have advantage, proficiency, and an extra 1d6 against that fireball. Good luck, spellcasters.
Fighter 13: Our capstone level is a second use of Indomitable per day. Not the flashiest way to end a build, but at least you're not a sorcerer.
Pros and Cons
Pros:
When you want to hurt someone, they really hurt. With four claw attacks and three unarmed attacks, all boosted by rage, maneuvers, and brute force, you can deal 3d8+13d6+42. And those are all with advantage, so you've got a good chance of dealing a crit. Even without that chance, you can still deal over 100 damage in a single turn with average rolls.
You've also got plenty of Mobility to stay on top of your prey, with a base movement of 50' per turn and the ability to jump an absolute minimum of 20', or you can swap in other kinds of movement if you're going to the sea or a cliff face. You've also got several ways to pour more speed in if you need it. You won't be able to win a race against your archer self, but you'll definitely make her work for it.
Your saves are ridiculous, especially your physical ones. You've got proficiency in all three, good scores, an additional 1d6, and your strength and dexterity saves probably have advantage. If people try to get through your hide, they'll find your skin is just as tough, with an AC of 16-17, damage resistance, almost 200 HP, and plenty of ways to heal yourself.
Cons:
If you can't catch up to a person, your range means you're screwed. Your best weapons are all melee range, and you'll just end up chasing them around like a fool. (Technically you can just... pick up a bow and use it, you're a fighter after all, but we're playing to character.)
Despite your save shenanigans, your low charisma means you still might end up getting shunted to another dimension. That would explain how you got to the lostbelt, though....
We spent a whole feat and fighting style on those superiority dice, and to be honest they're probably not worth the effort. Bumping up your strength and picking up the Mariner style would be just as useful, if less customizable.
28 notes · View notes
tigerkirby215 · 3 years
Text
5e Samira, the Desert Rose build (League of Legends)
Tumblr media
(Artwork by Jessica 'OwleyCat' Oyhenart. Made for Riot Games.)
Tumblr media
undefined
youtube
Still fucking hate this champ but her theme still slaps.
The eternal joke of me putting off making a build for Samira is finally over, though ironically enough my distain for this champ has only grown overtime. Jesus fucking Christ Rito can you nerf this champ’s goddamn damage? Like nerfing her lifesteal is nice and all but it doesn’t mean shit when my dumbfuck teammates picked 4 assassins into her and I’m the only one who can CC her as a Lulu.
Ah well: Samira still definitely fills a fantasy everyone wants, being a badass with sword and gun styling on the competition. Devil May Cry? Yeah I suppose Samira would be pretty good in a campaign against Fiends.
GOALS
You want style? You've found her - Smile, Sweet, Sister, Sadistic; we’ll need to Surprise the Service with Style to Spare. Sssssssssssssssssamira.
Eyes up! - We’ll need to be everywhere at once, dashing and dancing around the battlefield so no one can lock us down.
Showtime! - When push comes to shove it’s time to speeeeeeeeeen~
RACE
Samira is human no matter what the meta might dictate, and for once in my life I actually want something particular from Variant Human. But firstly: you can increase two Ability Scores of your choice by 1: increase both Dexterity and Wisdom for sharp sight and sharper shots. You also get a skill of your choice and a language of your pleasing. For your skill take Slight of Hand for flips and other gun tricks, and for your language Infernal will be good for your Inferno Trigger.
Again: we came to Variant Human land for a Feat because two guns are better than one. The Crossbow Expert Feat will give you a variety of benefits: no need to reload (or at least the ability to ignore the Loading property), no disadvantage in melee range... But most importantly if you fire a Hand Crossbow (which will be working as our handgun in this build) you can fire it again as a Bonus Action! "Well! Look at you."
ABILITY SCORES
15; DEXTERITY - Dexterity is tied to both shooting and backflips.
14; CHARISMA - Who needs a military license when you’ve got style?
13; WISDOM - Wisdom measures how in-tune you are with the world around you, and you need heightened senses not to die doing stupid shit.
12; CONSTITUTION - Most of Samira’s sustain comes from Lifesteal but we won’t really be able to get lifesteal, so just focus on not dying really.
10; STRENGTH - It takes a lot of upper body strength to do the stuff that Samira does but Riot isn’t about to make another Illaoi.
8; INTELLIGENCE - Your primary goal is to do things as recklessly and dangerously as possible... “for the Vine” as the kids say. Vine shut down ages ago!
BACKGROUND
Samira is a mercenary. I wonder if there’s a background for that... hey look at that Mercenary Veteran in the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide! You get proficiency in Athletics and Persuasion as well as Ground Vehicles and a gaming set of your choice. But of course the main benefit of being a mercenary is the Mercenary Life. You can easily identify other mercenaries and know bits and pieces of their lives. You can also easily find work by hanging around taverns and such until Captain Indari passes on some info to you.
Tumblr media
(Artwork made for Riot Games)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1
Starting off as a Rogue because I like skill proficiencies! Skills like Acrobatics, Perception, Insight, and Performance; you were a street performer once! You also get Expertise in two of those skills: Acrobatics and Athletics are necessary to be everywhere at once.
You can chat in Noxian military code thanks to Thieves’ Cant, but c’mon that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here for Sneak Attack! If an enemy is distracted or you have advantage you can stick a d6 where the sun don’t shine!
LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2
Second level Rogues get Cunning Action, letting them Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Dance around the battlefield like an Olympic gymnast... does Runeterra have the Olympics?
LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3
Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype: to be the queen of style and also make people think you’re from Bilgewater (yeah I get it; it’s because of the eyepatch) look no further than the Swashbuckler subclass. Swashbucklers get two abilities at level 1 but honestly it’s more like three abilities: Rakish Audacity will let you add your Charisma modifier to initiative rolls so you can get into fights fast, and will also let you Sneak Attack anyone who’s beside you. I’d consider it less like you sneak attacking them and more like you slashing them with your sword. Oh and speaking of Sneak Attack? That increases to 2d6 now.
Speaking of sword slashing: Fancy Footwork is the mobile feat! Well, it makes it so that after you try to make a melee attack against an enemy you can move away without provoking opportunity attacks. It’s a little weird to run around with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other but you can easily slash at someone before backflipping away and running off to shoot them next turn!
Tumblr media
(Artwork by @Aruneeko on Twitter)
LEVEL 4 - BARD 1
You didn’t think we’d be settling for just one class, did you? It’s time to go Bard; the masters of style! Bards get another skill proficiency at level 1 because why not be good at everything? Grab Medicine proficiency because it’s good to know how to bandage yourself up when living a dangerous lifestyle. “On my worst behavior." You also get a musical instrument and you know that I’ll always opt for good ol’ Noxian War Drums.
Bards get Bardic Inspiration, letting them show off their awesomeness so that awesomeness radiates onto their allies to give them a d6 to attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. You’ve got a number of these equal to your Charisma modifier, and regain them at the end of a Long Rest. For now, at least.
And of course while you may be all guns your style makes it look like Spellcasting... because it is. Bards get 2 cantrips and 4 spells at level 1:
CANTRIPS
Prestidigitation will let you put all the visual flair you could want on your moves, and more!
If you wanna walk the walk you’ve gotta talk the talk, and Vicious Mockery will let you talk smack so hard they can’t hit back! "Keep the change; you're gonna need it."
SPELLS
Magic is usually dangerous, and danger is usually fun! Take Detect Magic to see where that danger may be!
If you need some space in a pinch Thunderwave will give yourself some peel.
Steel yourself to do something crazy with Heroism, which will also give you a bit of a shield to do so!
You are still technically working for Noxus so it would be good to Identify anything important... or valuable... For safe keeping of course!
LEVEL 5 - BARD 2
Second level Bards truly are good at everything thanks to Jack of All Trades, letting you add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you don’t have proficiency in. You probably noticed that we already have proficiency in a silly amount of skills but I’m not going to say no to MORE!
After dangerous stunts it’s good to cool off with a Song of Rest, letting you help your crew with a d6 of healing during short rests to bandage up those wounds.
And of course: more spells! Faerie Fire will let you light ‘em up to get advantage, which will make it easier to sneak attack!
LEVEL 6 - BARD 3
Third level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will help you spot danger and Medicine will help you after dealing with danger.
But of course what we’re mainly here for is your Bardic College and in order to be too cool for school go for the College of Swords. You get some Bonus Proficiencies that don’t really matter but what does matter is you can use your sword to cast spells instead of a drum! Additionally you get a choice of Fighting Style and Dueling will make your sword swings do more damage if you swing it with one hand. I guess it’s worth mentioning that while a rapier would do the most damage a scimitar is the only finesse weapon that does slashing? (Excluding whips.)
But the main feature we’re here for is Blade Flourish which despite the name does also work with your hand crossbows. When you attack your movement speed increases by 10 feet as you charge up that Daredevil Impulse. If you hit with your shot however you can make a Blade Flourish (which again works with your hand crossbows?) of your choice from the following list:
Defensive Flourish does extra damage and also increases your AC as you dodge incoming projectiles.
Slashing Flourish will let you cleave with your sword (and just your sword because it only works on nearby enemies.)
Mobile Flourish will let you chase after a fleeing foe... after pushing them. But after shoving them into danger you can use your reaction to dive right in!
You can only use one Blade Flourish per turn which will matter later. As for what will matter now? Second level spells! Enhance Ability will help you give 110%!
LEVEL 7 - BARD 4
Heeey it’s about time we got an Ability Score Improvement! Our Dexterity has been lacking and you need that to fire straight!
Word of advice: if you know you aren’t going to level 20 feel free to get 4 levels in Rogue for the sake of the ASI.
You also get another spell, and another cantrip! For your cantrip Message is always good for keeping in team chat. For leveled spells Warding Wind does let you deflect nearby projectiles so... 
LEVEL 8 - BARD 5
5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration so their Bardic Inspiration die come back on a Short Rest, which is good because said Bardic Inspiration die also increases to a d8! Oh and when I say “Bardic Inspiration” I actually mean your Blade Flourish die. "If you can't keep up don't step up. I don't have time for fools."
And now third level spells are up on the table, but they all suck so take Mirror Image from the second level instead, which was added to the Bard spell list thanks to Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything!
Tumblr media
(Artwork by GaMu-ChAn on DeviantArt)
LEVEL 9 - RANGER 1
Three way multiclass? Don’t mind if I do! You get an extra skill proficiency by multiclassing into Ranger, because why not. Take Survival because you’re clearly damn good at it since you’re still alive.
Rangers get Deft Explorer at level 1 because Natural Explorer sucks and Tasha’s made Ranger a good class! Canny lets you learn two languages (honestly just pick your poison) and get Expertise in another skill, because lord knows we don’t have enough of those. I know we just got Survival proficiency, but it’s good to be good at not dying! (As well as finding food.)
You also get Favored Foe at first level, because Favored Enemy smells. If you shoot someone you can legally-not-Hunter’s Mark them so they take a d4 of extra damage once per turn when you shoot them. You concentrate on it like a spell and it works a lot like the Hunter’s Mark spell but you have a limited number of uses equal to your proficiency bonus, instead of using your spell slots.
LEVEL 10 - RANGER 2
Heeey more Fighting Styles! You already improved your sword swings so take Archery for +2 to ranged attack rolls to ensure that you hit your shots.
Rangers also get Spellcasting, only this spellcasting works with your Wisdom instead of your Charisma! You learn two spells from the Ranger list: Jump will let you do some hardcore parkour because the Ranger spell list sucks and I’ve got nothing else to give you, and Cure Wounds will allow Samira to have some healing... as a treat.
LEVEL 11 - RANGER 3
Third level Rangers can choose their archetype and Hunters are masters at taking down their foes. You can choose a way to take down your Hunter’s Prey. Colossus Slayer is a fairly simple affair: if you shoot (or stab) someone who’s already hurt they take an extra d8 of damage. Though you can only apply that extra d8 once per turn.
You also learn another spell: Longstrider will help you move thanks to that Daredevil Impulse. 10 feet may not seem like much but remember that you get an extra 10 feet thanks to Blade Flourish and can dash to turn 50 feet into 100 feet of movement!
Oh and I also completely forgot about Primal Awareness, which replaces Primeval Awareness. You can Speak with Animals once per day! Maybe not in character, but it helps if you have a Yuumi!
LEVEL 12 - RANGER 4
4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement: time to finally cap that Dexterity score for the most precise shots and deadly cuts possible!
Tumblr media
(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)
LEVEL 13 - RANGER 5
Total level 13 isn’t too late to get an Extra Attack, right? Well you can shoot twice now and mix some more Flair into your combos.
You can also learn second level spells now like Aid (ty Tasha’s) to let that adrenaline kick in so you feel no pain. Primal Awareness also gives you Beast Sense for a bit of covert Psy Ops.
LEVEL 14 - RANGER 6
6th level Rangers get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 extra feet of movement along with a climbing speed and a swimming speed! Reminder that in combination with both Longstrider and Blade Flourish that increases to a whopping 55 movement speed, which means that you can Dash as a Bonus Action to move 110 feet in a turn! "Danger runs from me." Your Favored Foe mark also increases to a d6 of damage.
LEVEL 15 - RANGER 7
7th level Hunters learn some Defensive Tactics: while perhaps not the most useful since you have Heroism and all you’ve certainly got a Steel Will, giving you advantage against being frightened. “Death isn't the scariest thing; it's a mother's rage."
You can also learn another spell: Lesser Restoration can be helpful in a pinch if someone’s trying to slow you down. Or at least if they’re trying to blind, deafen, poison, or paralyze you.
LEVEL 16 - RANGER 8
8th level of Ranger means another Ability Score Improvement: Charisma means higher initiative rolls as well as more Blade Flourishes. Simply put Wisdom can’t beat style!
Oh yeah and you also get Land’s Stride to move through non-magical difficult terrain and plants without slowing down, and for advantage against magic plants. I legit forgot this was even a thing before seeing it on the character sheet.
Tumblr media
(Artwork by dominaART on DeviantArt)
LEVEL 17 - RANGER 9
9th level Rangers get 3rd level spells like Conjure Barrage for some bullet rain; "My kind of rain!" Basically you shoot a bunch of bullets in a big cone, because Rangers get this instead of Fireball. Honestly something like Elemental Weapon (ty Tasha’s) would probably be better but we’re still sticking to flavor.
Oh and you can Speak with Plants thanks to Primal Awareness? Honestly these extra spells don’t fit at all but Primeval Awareness sucks. I’m literally adding these extra spells to the build last second.
LEVEL 18 - RANGER 10
10th level Rangers get Tireless from Deft Explorer. As an action, you can give yourself a Shieldbow shield for 1d8 + your Wisdom modifier in Temporary Hitpoints. You can do this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Additionally: whenever you finish a short rest, your exhaustion level is decreased by 1. Because danger doesn’t wait!
You also get Nature’s Veil because even if Vanish fits Samira better it still freaking sucks. Basically you can play around with Duskblade to turn invisible as a Bonus Action until the end of your next turn. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
LEVEL 19 - RANGER 11
11th level Hunters can finally spin around and hit everyone around them. Whirlwind Attack will let you make a melee attack against any enemy within 5 feet of you (with a separate attack roll for each target.) This is best used when surrounded (obviously) because unlike Samira’s ultimate in League it doesn’t do much extra damage, and you’re better off just stabbing them twice if you want DPS in a 1v1.
You also get your final spell known: take Wind Wall because you have an AoE Wind Wall and I thought it would be funny to steal directly from mister 0/10 powerspike himself. But really get whatever spell you think will be useful.
LEVEL 20 - RANGER 12
Full disclosure: feel free to go for 4 levels in Rogue if you know you aren’t going to hit level 20. I only went for Ranger level 12 because the hit die is bigger.
One last ability score improvement to top the build off: Charisma is still used for a lot of abilities, so increase that because who needs common sense when you’ve got blade flourishes!
FINAL BUILD
PROS
Came all this way to die? - You have many a way to bump up the damage. With 2d6 on a sneak attack, an extra d6 from Favored Foe, a d8 from Blade Flourishes, and a d8 from Colossus Slayer that means that on average you can do about 20 extra damage every turn. That’s definitely nothing to sneeze at!
Finally some action! - Have you ever had +12 to initiative? Would you like to? You are incredibly mobile for a girl who didn’t bring Flash (IE Misty Step) with tons of ways to increase your movement speed and the ability to Dash every turn as a Bonus Action.
This took years of practice... for everyone else - It was not my intention but wow you’re quite the little skill monkey. Two expertise skills from Rogue, another 2 from Bard, and one more from Deft Explorer. Not to mention Jack of All Trades in what few skills you aren’t proficient in to make sure you can do just about anything.
CONS
Oh... I really gotta check these more often - Your spellcasting really isn’t fantastic. We invested almost everything into Charisma but we have very few Bard spells. While I did my best to avoid Ranger spells that forced saving throws there are still some that suffer due to your relatively low Wisdom score... Oh yeah you also have 6th level spell slots but your known spells don’t go past level 3. At least that means you can buff the party with Aid!
I feel most alive when I'm walking the line - As great as your skill checks are your saving throws are quite lacking. Your Dexterity is nice but that’s about it; all your other saves range from average (+5) to bad (+0) Notably your Constitution saves are a mere +1, which means you won’t keep concentration up for long if you play recklessly.
Well-behaved women don't make it - There are a lot of features I took more for flavor then actual utility. For a start Hunter is a rather meh multiclass. This might be one of the times “just play a Fighter with a bow” applies as a subclass like Battlemaster would’ve likely been a better choice, and honestly going down full Swords Bard would’ve given you far more utility overall. There were benefits from Ranger levels but they were lost in the multiclassing MADness.
But you prove that modern-day killers really must hate fun; more often people can’t get style rockin' knives and guns. You don’t need no fancy magic or divine ascension to be a badass: gun ‘em down and cut through whatever remains to show that S stands for Samira and Samira alone... As long as she isn’t permabanned.
Tumblr media
(Artwork by @Yangyexin on Twitter)
104 notes · View notes
oh-boy-me · 3 years
Text
Obey Me! Card Planning Tips
Hello!  This game causes us all a lot of pain and suffering, but I’m MANAGING (?), so I thought I’d give what I’d consider some tips to maybe make things feel slightly more possible for you :)
I’ll split it into three parts and put it all under a read more.
Team Strength Calculation
Team Preparation
General Tips for Resources and Daily DP
Part 1: Team Strength Calculation
Each stage has 2 sins tied to it, as you’ve probably noticed.  In chapters 1-20, the stats of these two sins are boosted for ALL cards (character and support) by 15%.*
In chapters 1-20, your team’s strength is calculated with the following formula:
Strength = 1.15(AttributeSin1Total) + 1.15(AS2Total) + Other5SinsTotal
For example, let’s look at Lesson 10-20, which is a Gluttony/Lust battle.  My team is composed of Pandas Mean Profit (Greed), A Special Ceremony (Lust), and Colorful Panic (Pride).  And I’m using zero support cards just so I only have to add up 3 numbers.
Strength = 1.15(24338) + 1.15(34921) + 122736 = 190884**
Keep in mind that the buffs only apply to the attribute sin scores.  If the battle is Gluttony/Lust, the Pride scores will stay at their base values.  This is the case for all lessons up through chapter 20, both normal and hard mode.
However, from Lesson 21 onwards, there are two changes.  One, there is a primary sin and a secondary sin for each battle, marked by which icon is bigger in the preparation screen.  (There always has been, but now it matters which is which.)  In boss battles, both are primary.  Second, the buffs have changed drastically.
Every card has its main sin, obviously, and its strength in that sin is the strongest.  However, they still have strength in the other 6 sins as well.  There are two non-main sins that a card is very strong in, two that it is average in, and two that it is terrible in.
The percent increase is now dependent on how good a card is in the battle's two attribute sins.  (Remember that these buffs still only affect that sin, not the card’s total strength.)
If a card is the same sin as the battle’s primary sin, that sin gets a 160% buff
If a card is the same sin as the battle’s secondary sin, that sin gets a 90% buff
If a card’s second or third best sin is the battle’s primary sin, that sin gets a 30% buff
If a card’s second or third best sin is the battle’s secondary sin, that sin gets a 10% buff
Any sins lower than third best no longer get a buff
I’m not going to make a formula this time because it’s too long and situational.  But let’s look at that same 3-card team again, this time with Lesson 21-5, a Lust/Gluttony stage in that order.
Pandas Mean Profit has an average Lust score, so it gets no bonus.  Its Gluttony is its 3rd best sin, so that gets a 10% buff (10752 > 11827)
A Special Ceremony is a Lust card, so its Lust gets a 160% buff (17308 > 45000).  Its Gluttony sucks, though, so that doesn’t get a bonus.
Colorful Panic has Lust as its second best sin, so it gets a 30% buff (10423 > 13549).  Gluttony is its third best, so that gets a 10% buff too (9866 > 10852).
With the new system, the team’s Lust score has skyrocketed from 40158 to 65739.  However, its Gluttony score dropped from 27987 to 26399.
This means that the sins of your cards suddenly matter more in battle.  (And honestly I don’t think that’s a bad thing.  I know people complain that it makes it harder, but.  If my Comedy team in A3! is made entirely of Action/Drama cards with poor Comedy, I shouldn’t expect that team to do well.  Idk why people think that shouldn’t apply to Obey Me.)  Which brings us to part 2.
By the way, colored glow sticks raise the card’s total strength by 10%, and rainbow glow sticks raise it by 30%.
* It’s actually like 14.99% but it’s effectively the same.  The “slightly under but so close that I’m just rounding for significant figures” thing will be consistent for all of these buffs.
** The actual in-game strength is 190881, 3 points off due to the .99% thing.
Part 2: Team Preparation
I’m so sorry.  But someone has to say it.  Are you listening?  Great.
URs aren’t automatically better than SSRs.  Honestly, they never were.  They ESPECIALLY aren’t now.  You’re not losing the battle because you’re using SSRs.  You’re losing the battle because you’re throwing Wrath cards at a Sloth opponent.
Morning Voice is an Envy SSR card.  My copy of the card is only level 10, and in a Lesson 21+ Envy battle, its Envy score is 6866.
What is my Level 90 UR Colorful Panic’s Envy score in the same battle?
3489.
Colorful Panic is a higher rarity and 80 levels higher.  It has worse Envy.  Why?  Because Envy is its worst sin.
Obviously you aren’t going to be using a level 10 card in a battle, so for a more realistic standpoint, my copy of Resentment Runs Deep (SSR Envy) has 46108 Envy in the same battle.  That’s 13x better than the UR.
I’ll repeat it one more time before I move on.  The sin scores of a card are far more important than the rarity of the card.  A random SR card of the right sin is better than a UR with no sin bonus.  The most impressive thing about a UR is how hard it is to get one.
Anyway, what does this mean?  Is it hopeless?
Well, if you wanted to binge all three seasons within the first month of playing, yes.  But let’s assume that’s not the case.  (Side note, but the feeling that our cards are never good enough is definitely exacerbated by the aggressive speed at which they release new lessons combined with the fandom’s apparent allergy to spoiler warnings, but that’s a point for another post maybe.)
Remember that having URs isn’t actually all that important.  Now remember the sheer amount of SSRs they release since they also aggressively release events.  Also remember that with every 10-pull, you’ll get at least one SSR+.  (Also remember to never do single pulls; they're not worth it at all.)  If you’re really struggling with a lot of battles, here’s how you can improve your scores while focusing on as few cards as possible.
Open an Excel document or Google Sheets page and make a chart that looks something like this:
Tumblr media
[Image Description: An 8x8 Excel sheet.  The columns are labelled with each of the seven deadly sins, and the rows are labelled Cards 1 through 3 and Support 1 through 3, with a blank row in between.  The rest of the sheet is blank.]
Now choose a card you want to use.  Doesn’t matter why you want to use it, maybe you like how it looks, maybe you worked really hard to get it, maybe you like its ability, maybe it’s just your current strongest card.  I don’t care.  For my chart I’m gonna use Pandas Mean Profit because it’s really pretty and I got it from the 100-pull pity reward.
Look at your card’s top 3 sins and put them into the chart.  For the character cards, note who the card is, because you can’t double up.  For reference later, also note whether it’s 1st, 2nd or 3rd best.  (Be sure to do this through Contacts and not a battle so there are no buffs skewing the scores.)
Once that’s in, choose another card you like for a different sin and input that card’s top 3 sins.  Envy is still completely empty, so I’ll put Resentment Runs Deep in next.  It’s an SSR, but I really love the Refresh Team ability.  Do this for one character card and one support card of each sin at first, if you can.  It doesn’t matter what level they are right now.  Then fill in whatever blanks you have with cards that specialize in that sin.
If a sin comes up more than 3 times, keep whichever ones are strongest in that sin without overlapping characters.  Play around with it until you get something that works for you.  Keep note of the sins you’re lacking cards for.
Tumblr media
[Image Description: The same Excel Sheet as before, except filled in with various Obey Me card names.  The cells in rows 2 through 4 are color coded to match the character of the card.  Each cell marks in parentheses how strong the card is in the sin of the column it’s in from 1 to 3.]
Mine looks like this.  This chart isn’t perfect (if you look, none of my cards had Envy as a good non-main sin, and Pandas and Bunny have too much overlap for the same character), but it works as a rushed example.  I used the cell colors to mark the characters.
Are these the teams you should be using for each battle?  No, obviously not.  First off there’s no single-sin battle, and second off the game will still build the teams for you.
BUT, this greatly lowers the amount of cards you need to pour resources into.  Instead of 42 cards, with this chart I only have to focus on 18 cards in order to be guaranteed that all my cards get at least a SLIGHT boost in each battle.  The best-case scenario would drop it down to 14 cards.
Later on, once you’ve managed the cards on your chart, the next thing to do would be to find main sin cards to replace those that are only third best in their sin.  On mine I’d definitely focus on a Gluttony character card next, but in general Sloth is the one you want to be the most proactive about.
That should help you get through at least Season 2.  Season 3 is admittedly where the difficulty actually IS ridiculous, but Season 2 really isn’t as hard as we’ve been saying.  It just requires more planning than “the first three URs I ever got.”
I do still apologize for the resources and Grimm it’ll take, though :’)
Part 3: General Tips for Resources and Daily DP
This section is just some extra tidbits to help you have the resources to get cards and upgrade them.
Tumblr media
[Image Description: The “hard to swallow pills” meme.  The pills read “You don’t need every single card and unless you’re a whale eventually you’re going to have to prioritize some events and ignore others or you’ll never have the resources to improve the cards you already have.”]
However, events ARE good for farming Grimm, so it’s not the end of the world if you want every SSR.  The only issue will come up when you need hard mode items and never have any AP, but it’s manageable.
If you’re going to log in more than once throughout the day, you can do the 2-1 job distribution.  If not, do three jobs with one character each so you get the daily task done
To save money for leveling up your good cards, complete the devil tree daily mission with N-rank cards.
Use vouchers over DP whenever you can (and use Raven to get vouchers).  The 99 DP level-up sale IS worth it if you can afford it, because that’s like 50% off a 10-pull once you do two.
I’m not certain, but I THINK skill level also influences how often an ability activates?  I feel like my Lv 10 SSR cards activate often but my Lv 1 URs never do.  So if you’re relying on an ability, the permanent SSRs might be worth looking at over limited time cards.
Anyway, I hope this helps at all in our mutual suffering.
28 notes · View notes
starkie-md · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
@were-all-high here’s a little response I wanted to add:
Let’s break down capitalism and why it doesn’t work, in a classroom setting. Say there are 5 people, these 5 people all take the same first test. One scores a 95 and the others score a 90, 80, 30 and 70.
On the next test, the person who got the highest grade no longer has to study or do any work, instead they “own” the second test.
Now the other students take their second test and score the same they got on the first test only this time, they each get 10%. Every point they made over 10% goes to their classmate who did nothing, giving that classmate a 230%.
With such a large margin, that classmate owns the next test, and every test after that. Capitalism doesn’t work.
Okay, so now let’s apply this to the real world.
The test is the means of productions. It’s what’s being used by workers to create value. In real life this could be anything from a chefs pan or to a gold mine used by miners.
Just as those minors find gold to produce value, the students take the test to produce a score.
At first, all the students are on equal ground relating to the test. Someone who is lucky or studies harder ends up scoring higher than others.
However, when the classmate scores the 95 and takes control of the test, suddenly that student is now part of the bourgeois class. Also known as the class that owns the means of production.
With this new ownership, this student no longer has to work to produce value. Instead, they simply own the means of production and take the value produced my their fellow classmates.
The bourgeois class only returns a fraction of this value as a wage for the workers, pocketing the rest of the stolen value as profit for themselves.
We've seen how classroom capitalism will play out, but what about socialist schooling?
Socialism is a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the community should own the means of production. In basic terms, socialism is merely democracy in the workplace and economy. So what would this look like in school?
Let's say 5 people take a test, one gets a 100, the others get a 90 an 80 a 70 a 60. Unlike in the capitalist system, there's no owner to steal the value of their labor, instead they decide where it goes as a collective.
The student with the 60 tells the class that they studied hard and just had a bad day. The group deliberates and decides to redistribute 10 points.
Same student continues struggling. the class recognizes they will all be better off if that student can catch up and decide to start a study group.
Instead of competing for the best grade, the students cooperate to lift everyone's grades and overtime the class average rises, benefiting everyone.
Socialism incentivizes cooperation instead of competition and as such our success is linked to those around us. And remember that the choice to help others is democratic so if people would decide to purposely not learn because they know their score would be raised anyways, the classmates could vote to not help them. That’s the benefit of community control, help when it’s deserved. No one should suffer because someone else didn’t work as hard which is why it’s democratic and the students vote. The community holds each other accountable. And if someone decides they don’t want to share, they can leave. The group can always vote to stop providing support if they notice that a person isn’t trying. That’s the benefit of community control of the economy.
And if you still want to say that all socialist countries fail, are you counting socialist states that have been destabilized by coups or other interferences by foreign countries with capitalist interests as failures due to to socialism or capitalism?
Let’s say you say socialism:
How do you feel about the Nordic model? Socialism has provided better health care and far happier citizens, and you might say “wait, no it’s not, it’s capitalist with strong social programs.” So if those social programs clearly work and are far better, they should be adopted.
Also, every time socialism “failed” in Africa, you can find a leader who was killed by the CIA. So if socialism fails every time, then why does the CIA have to kill socialist leaders? Why can’t they just let the country fail? And did socialism fail in Burkina Faso under Sankara?
When there were massive tree planting programs, school building programs and nation wide literacy campaigns? And making huge gains in gender equality? Or what about this? I thought socialism always leads to corruption yet Sankara cut the salaries of government officials, including his own. He banned flying first class, sold all the government Mercedes and he didn’t even use air conditioning. Sankara’s socialism wasn’t flawless, he was bearing dictatorship near the end, but before he became corrupt things were working well. So obviously under Sankara socialism wasn’t failing - which means the CIA and the French had to murder him. They collaborated with his second in command and killed and cut him up into pieces so they could scatter his parts when they were burying him.
Socialism fails every time it’s tried when the CIA murders your leader and cuts him up into little pieces and sometimes socialism in itself just fails sometimes but capitalism has failed far more times.
And if you want to argue about the CIA doing things like this, remember that they’ve admitted it and even declassified files relating to it.
You may want to bring up Venezuela so let me just say this: they put all their eggs in one basket with the oil exportation and more importantly, 155 economic sanctions, not to mention the whole imperialism thing and a dictator was running the country, not a socialist.
And I know transitioning from capitalism to socialism is a huge difference, so instead of completely dropping capitalism and going into socialism at 100%, it could be transitioned into social democracy.
And it’s kinda funny how people always say “we’ve tried communism and socialism and it was bad” but never say “the first few hundred years of capitalism involved literal slavery, so it’s bad”.
I’m not saying that socialism is without its flaws, of course it’s not. But capitalism has been tried, people have starved, died because they couldn’t afford health care, many intelligent people who could change the world will never get a chance because they can’t afford proper education and so much more. Capitalism doesn’t work, and it’s time to try something else until something that does work is found. There isn’t going to be a perfect political state, that’s impossible. Everything will have flaws, but it’s time to find something that doesn’t have as many flaws and isn’t as corrupted.
Do you get why I asked you if you agreed that socialism and communism were bad because a small group of people have majority of the wealth and power on the world? You agreed that that was wrong. I’m so glad you agree because it’s not socialism or communism that a small group of people hold majority of the wealth and power, that’s capitalism. I described capitalism and you agreed with me.
80 notes · View notes
Text
Psycho Analysis is a series that looks at villains across various media in the hopes of coming to something of a consensus on the overall quality of the character. Are they performed well? Do they enrich the narrative? Are their motives fleshed out? Are they voiced by Tim Curry and thus a sex icon? 
There are a lot of important questions that I look into, but ultimately, Psycho Analysis boils down to asking one simple little question: How bad can a character be?
Thankfully, there’s one villain who decided to answer that question for me... in song form.
Psycho Analysis: The Once-ler
Tumblr media
(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)
Yeah, I’m finally talking about everyone’s favorite greedy bastard who, back in some of the darkest days of Tumblr history, ended up being the premier sexyman on the website. People were thirsting over this twiggy weirdo, acting as if he were God’s gift to women and shipping him with alternate versions of himself. Much like the movie he’s from, he is now incredibly hard to take seriously.
But hey, speaking of alternate versions of himself, I’m going to be covering him from the original book and the animated short film as well. Might as well just knock it all out of the park at once, right? Now let’s see how ba-a-a-ad this guy can be.
Motivation/Goals: The Once-ler is all about biggering. He’s making thneeds (things that everyone needs) and he is gonna stop at nothing to craft these things. Not even the power of the Lorax, Danny DeVito or otherwise, is going to stay his hand from getting that sweet, soft Truffula fluff to make his wares. This is ultimately a little unrealistic, at least for the Illumination version; if Danny DeVito asked me not to do something, I’d listen, no questions asked.
Performance: In the animated special, Bob Holt does double duty, as he is portraying both Once-ler and the title character. It works really well for what they’re going for, and the double casting is interesting because it highlights the ultimate role of the Lorax as the Once-ler’s conscience given form.
In the film, Ed Helms portrays the Once-ler, and he’s fine. He’s certainly better casting than Audrey, but that’s not particularly saying much considering that’s a non-singing Taylor Swift (when Cats is able to utilize Taylor Swift better than your musical, you know there’s trouble). I don’t know, Ed Helms is fun and all, but I’m just not sure his take on the Once-ler is all too compelling overall.
Final Fate: In the original book and the special, the Once-ler wins… but even he realizes it’s a terrible, pointless victory, and all he has achieved is ruin, his family leaving him, his business ultimately collapsing, and the environment permanently damaged. He’s left as a miserable, jaded hermit, broken by the bleak consequences his greedy actions have sown upon the world and only able to tell his story and pass on the last Truffula seed in the hopes that maybe, maybe someday the trees can regrow and the Lorax will return. The Illumination version follows this but then tacks on a happy ending  where the Lorax and Once-ler reunite because as we know ambiguity and bittersweet endings cannot exist in children’s films.
Best Scene: Obviously it’s the scene where he shakes his ass to seduce Jack Frost, in one of the greatest gay romances ever put to film.
Tumblr media
Joking aside, it is undoubtedly his villain song. It has become such a meme, but real talk? “How Bad Can I Be” slaps. This is a really good song, probably too good for the movie but you know what, I’ll take it.
youtube
Best Quote: HOW BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE? Yes, I’m using a line from his villain song. Sue me.
Final Thoughts & Score: What can one really say about the movie version of the Once-ler that hasn’t already been run into the ground? Well, how about… He’s not too bad, honestly? Like, yes, he has next to nothing to do with his book counterpart and they really go way too far into trying to make a capitalist pig sympathetic… but the animated special from the 70s did that too. I think the Once-ler honestly works better when there is a dash of complexity to him and he isn’t just a simple-minded Captain Planet villain.
Of course, the issue here is that the 70s version took a simpler approach, kind of less is more. The 70s Once-ler brings up some valid points to the Lorax about his work, and the Lorax can’t help but agree that there’s no easy answer while also stressing that the environmental devastation is still really, really bad. It works, it feels complex, and it arguably helps the ultimate point that we need to protect the environment better than even the book did (and I love the book, don’t get me wrong, but its take on the Once-ler is a bit too simple for its own good; it almost runs into the Femme Fatale problem by being a bit too much of a strawman). The movie version has a bit too much going on, especially with his family. His family are much more blatantly evil, greedy, and manipulative, but they’re relegated to the background for much of the film and don’t effect things all that much. The whole narrative would have been infinitely stronger if they were the greater scope villains behind Once-ler and were who needed to be defeated and maybe taught a lesson, but instead they are ignored in favor of someone I’ll address very shortly.
All of this leaves movie Once-ler feeling extremely disjointed, but not irredeemably so. As I said before, his villain song is unironically awesome, and as lame as it is compared to the more haunting, contemplative ending of the book and the special, I’m not so much of a curmudgeon that I didn’t at least smile when he finally reconciled with the Lorax. Ultimately though, him being memed to death really didn’t help his case, but it means I’m not giving the movie version anything less than a 3/10. He might in fact be the best “so bad it’s good” villain ever, or at least up there. He’s just so undeniably enjoyable even if the narrative isn’t making him as complex as it thinks it is. The animated special version gets a 9/10, the book version is a 7/10, and the Once-ler’s family gets a 5/10 for being an interesting concept they sadly do little with, which will now be elaborated on as I follow up on the foreshadowing from the last paragraph...
Psycho Analysis: Aloysius O’Hare
Tumblr media
Remember how I said the Once-ler’s family gets ignored in favor of someone else? Here he is, Aloysius O’Hare, one of the absolute lamest villains ever put to screen.
Motivation/Goals: He’s greedy. That’s it. I’m not kidding. He’s just a cartoonish caricature of a rich person, which still makes him a realistic portayal but also makes him boring as sin compared to the wacky dude with a big musical number about how bad he can be.
Performance: Rob Riggle does a decent job, but there’s really not much for him to work with here. This character is a cardboard cutout who exists to be as cartoonishly greedy and evil as possible with no nuance so the kids know who to root against and so that Once-ler doesn’t look bad in comparison.
Final Fate: Look, he’s a blatantly evil corporate villain in a kid’s movie about the environment. Of course he gets defeated and everyone turns on him. What’s especially funny though is that, on the brink of learning his lesson, he rejects any form of redemption and just goes whole hog on being a villain.
Best Scene: I will absolutely give him this: in the face of his ultimate defeat, after having the virtues of trees sung to him and the entire town turning on him, he for a moment contemplates turning over a new leaf… and then absolutely rejects the thought and instead decides being evil is just too much fun, at which point he tries to get everyone back on his side by seeing a funny little song about death while wavedashing. If more shitty villains did this, I don’t think there would be shitty villains.
Tumblr media
Best Quote: LET IT DIE, LET IT DIE, LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE! Yes I’m quoting a song again.
Final Thoughts & Score: Look, I’m not gonna mine words here: O’Hare sucks. Big time. He is a prime example of why The Lorax failed as an adaptation. In a story that is dealing with a moral grayness with no easy answers, O’Hare is just a big, blatant target, a dark shade of black in terms of black-and-white morality. He’s like a reject Captain Planet villain with Edna Mode’s haircut.
The movie would have been infinitely better if, instead of him, the Once-ler’s family were in control of the town, and they needed to learn the lesson about saving the trees instead of simply vanishing from the story. They were shown to be overbearing, manipulative, and greedy, and they had a much more personal connection with Once-ler being, you know, his actual family. The fact they abandon him and never really get any sort of comeuppance despite being perhaps the most evil people in the move, egging on Once-ler and taking full advantage of him, makes O’Hare all the more egregious, because there could have been some strong thematic elements that would have tied the film together and made it come off as much less preachy and more nuanced.
Tumblr media
But we don’t live in a world where that happened, we live in a world where we got O’Hare. Aside from some genuine hilarity from him at the end, O’Hare really adds very little to the film. I gotta give him a 2/10, but I will say he’s a lot closer to a 3 than he is to a 1; there’s no denying his absolute rejection of learning a moral is absolutely hilarious. I love when villains do that. It’s just a shame those funny moments are wrapped up in something monumentally unimpressive.
37 notes · View notes
seungmoroll · 4 years
Text
Electric Love - Han Jisung
Tumblr media
Word count: 2k
Genre: Fluff
A/N: This is the fifth installment of the Electric Love series. If you would like to check the other installments out, you can click here. 
Tumblr media
You swore that this was done on purpose. Earlier in the week, you, Chan, Jisung, Felix, Minho and Jeongin agreed to have a little 3-on-3 basketball game on Friday. Come Thursday night, the group chat gets a text from Minho saying he had to cancel because his girlfriend was sick, and he wanted to take care of her. Then Friday morning Chan lets you guys know that he has to rain check because he forgot he promised to hang out with his siblings. Later on that day when you get to the basketball court, you only see Jisung and when you reach him, he tells you that Felix and Jeongin won’t be coming because they had some other “stuff” to do. You send the other boys an “I hate you” text as you go and put your bag down.
The thing is, you’ve kind of had a crush on Jisung for the past few months. At first the idea of having a crush on Jisung grossed you out because he has been your best friend since middle school, but even him doing the most ridiculous things made your heart  flutter and face flush. Minho being the observant person he is, noticed your change in behavior towards the quokka-like boy and figured out that you had a crush on him, and that eventually led to the other boys in the friend group finding out, sans Jisung. You were 100% sure that the four boys planned to leave the two of you alone today. Checking your phone one last time, you see that Minho sent you, “No you don’t” with a smirking emoji while Jeongin sent you, “Have fun with hyung but not too much fun” with a winky face. Oh, you were so going to kill those boys the next time you saw them. When you turn around, Jisung instantly throws the basketball at you, “Ready to lose?”
Honestly, yes, you were ready to lose. You weren’t the greatest at basketball, but you also weren’t the worst. Originally the plan was to have Jisung, Felix, and Jeongin on one team, while you, Chan and Minho were on the other. Losers were supposed to pay for food afterwards, so you were pretty confident that you wouldn’t be paying, but lo and behold, the situation has changed.
“Jisung, you have to go easy on me.” You go up to him and give him the best puppy dog eyes you could give him. He responds by gagging and pushing you away by your head.
“Nu-uh, those eyes don’t work on me anymore, I’m immune. I was so prepared to pay for food today, but now that it’s just you and me, you better prepare your wallet because I know I’m going to be starving after this.”
Like a child, you stick your tongue at towards him, “You suck.”
Used to your antics, he rolls his eyes, “Oh real mature, Y/N.”
Since it was only the pair of you, you guys decided to play half court. The first person to get 20 points would be the winner. According to Jisung, since he was a nice person, he let you play offense first. You had thanked him sarcastically, to which he returned it by blowing you a kiss.
You start by warming up with a dribble, thinking about your strategy. You knew what type of player Jisung was; he’s the type to exaggerate things, especially his arm movements. When you tried to go around Jisung, he had quickly got in front of you and managed to get the ball. Ball in his hand he goes for a layup, which he makes. You stand there watching him as he does a little victory dance. When he turns to face you, you give him a look that says ‘really?’ and he gives you a cheeky grin.
Feeling bad, he decides to change up the rules, “Okay, how about this, first one to 10 points becomes the winner.”
“And you can only use one hand.” You add.
“What? No. That’s no fair.”
“This game wasn’t fair to begin with.” You say with a pout.
“Okay fine, since my precious Y/N thinks that they can win against me if I play with one hand, then I’ll do it.”
This time it was Jisung’s turn to play offense, and as he ran past you to try to go in for another layup, you had actually managed to get the ball away from him. You decided that he was still capable of getting back the ball, so you wanted to attempt something that you weren’t sure you were capable of. Taking the basketball, you throw it towards the hoop, hoping that it makes it in. You and Jisung both stand there, watching as the ball slowly rolls around the rim and then fall into the hoop.
“Yah! No freaking way. You just made a 3-pointer! I’m not playing with one hand if you can make 3-pointers!” Jisung says, surprised that you actually made the point.
“No way, Jisung! You said that you would play with one hand.”
“That was before I knew you could shoot baskets like that.”
“I didn’t even know I could do that. It was just a luckly shot.”
“Lucky shot my butt.” Jisung huffs. He goes to pick up the ball and then passes it to you. Testing your luck again, you try to go for a 3-pointer, but it bounces off the backboard. Jisung gets the rebound and makes the basket. He lets out a little ‘whoop’ and you proceed to laugh at him as he tries to get in your face teasingly.
“4 to 3, Y/N. I think you should just give up now.”
Pushing him away you say to him, “In your dreams Jisung, I’m winning this game.”
“Oh, I love a confident person. Too bad I’m about to crush that confidence.” He says this right before he shoots for a 3-pointer, making another loud ‘whoop’ as he makes the basket. This time, to be even more dramatic, he makes a small victory lap. You stand there watching him in amusement. ‘Gosh,’ you think to yourself, ‘if he wasn’t so cute, I’d throw the ball at his head right now.’
“Okay, Michael Jordan,” you say sarcastically, “we aren’t done with the game yet.”
“I mean, we might as well be, Y/N. If I make another 3-pointer, you’re done for.”
“That’s IF you make it. Now c’mon, let’s get on with it.”
Deciding that you need to up your game, you decide to change your tactic. As you dribble with the ball a bit leisurely, Jisung sees it as his opportunity to take the ball from you. He comes up to you and attempts to take the ball, but you act like you’re going the other way, so he follows your movement, but at the last second you go back the other way and go in for a layup. Cheering when you make the basket.
“5 to 7 Jisungie, you better watch out, I’m coming for ya.”
“Where’d you even learn to do that?” he asks.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe a certain Aussie named Lee Felix.” Felix always made you practice with him whenever the other boys were too busy to play, so of course you learned a thing or two. You’re just happy that you were able to pull it off successfully.
Pouting, he says to you, “Stop hanging out with Felix so much, I don’t want you to get better at basketball than me.”
“Aw, is Jisung jealous that I learned something from Felix and not him? I hate to break it to you Sung, but he’s a better teacher.”
He replies a beat later, but says, “Pft, me jealous? Never.”
Picking up the ball from the ground, the game continues on. The next point goes to Jisung, who was able to dunk the ball. He hangs onto the rim for a few seconds before you ask him, “You stuck there or something?” Hesitating before jumping back down, he replies, “Nah, I just wanted to bask in my glory. It’s 9 to 5, Y/N, you sure you don’t want to give up now and head to get some food early?”
You aggressively throw the basketball at him, only for him to throw it back, “I never give up.” You stick out your tongue at him as he chuckles at you.
You’re able to score another point on Jisung because some little kids came up and was able to distract him.
“Hey that wasn’t fair!”
“Life’s not fair, pretty boy.”
It’s Jisung’s turn on offense and even though, he could win with a 3-pointer, you know he doesn’t want to win like that. So when he attempts to avoid your block, you somehow manage to steal the ball from you, but before you are able to make a run for it, he grabs onto your waist instead.
You hold onto the ball, but scream, “Yah Han Jisung! What’re you doing?!”
Laughing, he says, “I’m playing basketball, what else could be doing?”
Suddenly, you feel your feet come off the ground and everything starts spinning. At this point, you’re screaming and laughing at the same time. In the moment, as Jisung as swinging you around like an object, you realize that the most beautiful sound in the world is his laughter, and that you could listen to it 24/7. Eventually Jisung put you down, but he turns you to face him so that you could steady yourself on your feet. Finally, everything in your head becomes normal again, and when you look up, you see that Jisung is already looking down at you. To an outsider, you two looked like a couple in love playing basketball, but in harsh reality you weren’t, instead, you were pining over someone who would never see you like that. But the thing is, you were tired, tired over pining over him when you haven’t even tried to make a move. Maybe it’s the adrenaline that’s kicking in from the game or maybe you’re tired and the exhaustion is taking over, you’re not sure, but for some reason as you gaze into Jisung’s eyes, all you can think about is kissing him.
So that’s exactly what you do.  As your lips touch his, his eyes widen in shock, but you couldn’t see because your eyes were closed, and you were too focused on the fact that your lips were actually touching his. When Jisung actually realizes what’s happening, he kisses you back and you can even feel him smiling into the kiss, which makes you open your eyes and realize something. Being the person that you are, you use this position that you’re in to do what needs to be done; you pull away from the kiss and chuck the basketball, that surprisingly stayed in your hands, at the basketball net. You can’t figure out if the look on Jisung’s face is from your kiss or from the fact that you just made another 3-pointer.
“Suck on that Han! 10-9. I win!” You do the same victory dance Jisung had done earlier, and while you do that, Jisung watches you adoringly, still thinking about that kiss. Deciding that he too had a victory, he dances alongside you.
Stopping, you ask him, “Why are you doing a victory dance? You just lost, now you got to pay for our meals.”
“That’s where you are wrong, Y/N. I actually won because I got kissed by the most beautiful person.”
You whine because of how cringey his words were, but you can’t stop the blush that forms on your cheeks.
“Oh shut up. Let’s get out of here, you big loser. I want to eat some Shake Shack now.”
The two of you pack up your belongings, and when you leave the court, Jisung wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you in closer to him as he ruffles your hair. Laughter coming out of both of your mouths as you recall the look on his face after the last shot.
And now that you think about it, you might have heard ‘Electric Love’ being played by some teenagers having a picnic as you and Jisung kissed. ‘Huh’, you think to yourself, ‘what a coincidence.’
Tumblr media
A/N: I'm sorry if the basketball game in this didn’t make sense, I didn’t really know how to describe things, but I tried my best. I hope that you guys enjoyed reading this. I would love to hear any sort of feedback or your opinions if you have any!
187 notes · View notes
azaffranist · 4 years
Text
Frozen 2 deleted/early content
On the road to F2 there were tons of leaks and I saved as many of them as I could in the fear that Disney would delete them (because they loved to shut down whole websites because of that back in the day). As a result I have a lot of pictures saved on my phone and looking back on them... some don’t sound quite right because it’s definitely not what I saw in the movie. So here’s everythinggg I have. I did my best to organize stuff a bit but there are so many things it was... hard. Feel free to add more stuff in reblogs, replies and such!
Something to note is that we won’t take into account the “officially” released deleted content, which would include everything that’s in the Blu-ray, because basically everyone already saw that (Home, I Seek the Truth, Get This Right, Unmeltable Me, the Secret Room scene, Hard Nokks, etc). Generally, we won’t be analyzing deleted scenes from the official trailers, either, because of this very reason. Something “official” that we will consider, though, are the deleted clips animators have been releasing on Instagram and other sites, because those aren’t that popular.
Before starting here’s the link to all the deleted F2 lines I could find as well as some other additions. The post itself has even more links to other posts containing deleted content so have fun clicking on links. 
Last thing to mention, none of the merch photos here are taken by me. I got most of them from the leaks channel of the Arendelle Kingdom server during 2019. If any image in this post belongs to someone here and you want to be credited please let me know and I’ll edit the post.
This post is long. Like really, really, lagging-my-browser-as-I’m-writing-it long. So grab some popcorn and get comfortable or just take a look at what interests you.
So without further ado, let’s get started!
Tumblr media
Deleted Artbook Content
One of the most exciting leaks we got were definitely these sample artbook excerpts. None of these pages made it into the final artbook, though.
Tumblr media
This piece definitely belongs in Iduna and Agnarr’s backstory, in which the Northuldra leader wasn’t an ordinary man but a shapeshifter.
Tumblr media
The biggest picture in this page points to yet another version of Iduna and Agnarr’s backstory. It’s possible to deduce Bruni hadn’t been fully developed yet or created at all since the fire isn’t pink.
The one on the bottom right seems to be an earlier version of the “forest freed” scene in the final movie, or maybe it happened in another moment altogether.
Tumblr media
The most interesting of the three, though, is this one. Nothing in the movie points to the existence of a place like this. It’s interesting to note that this peculiar house looks very similar to Iceland’s “elf houses”, tied to the myth of the Huldufólk, “hidden people”, who were said to be small and live in a parallel world, being able to make themselves visible at will.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
These are definitely the inhabitants of the Enchanted Lands, who look completely different than in the final movie with their long cloaks, hoods and staves. They look like mages. Were these the very first concepts of the Northuldra, or another group of characters altogether that ended up being scrapped? Only Ahtohallan knows...
Tumblr media
Even though the tree and the vegetation illustration is in the book, there’s one missing and that one is the bottom left. One of the most popular theories in the fandom regarding that illustration is that it was an Arendellian military camp tied to the expedition to the Enchanted Lands. I think what we got in the movie is a watered down version of a much more violent and sinister endeavor to invade the Northuldra. The above mentioned deleted scene of the battle of Arendellians agains Northuldrans is proof of that.
Tumblr media
This one shows the Arendellian gang and most likely Mattias looking at the walls of a cave with drawings on it depicting the Nokk among other things that I can’t quite make out. I’ve heard people say that an earlier version of F2 involved the gang encountering Mattias in a volcanic cave and that’s where this scene would go, but I don’t know if those are rumors or there’s an actual source. If someone happens to have knowledge on this topic in particular please let me know and I’ll update the post.
_________________________
Incomplete Frozen Fan Fest books and their alternate scenes
As I’ve mentioned in another post, Frozen Fan Fest happened on October 4th, 2019, and it was the official release of the movie’s first merchandise. We were all super excited to look at the storybooks and read the ending!
Except there was no ending and the books ended abruptly right before Olaf’s death, completely skipping over Show Yourself.
Tumblr media
You hear that? “Elsa bravely dives into the Dark Sea”. We know the Dark Sea scene was shortened and that’s more proof.
Tumblr media
This section of a Frozen 2 storybook explains how it went a bit better. After Elsa was defeated twice by the ferocious waves she climbed up some giant rocks and dove back in. Only Ahtohallan knows how that would be effective in this situation and not a waste of strength, but hey, I’m sure it looked super cool and I’d be down to see it.
Tumblr media
”Elsa trudged through terrible winds and thick snow”... um... she didn’t? This might’ve been created when Show Yourself wasn’t a thing yet and her path through Ahtohallan was just that, trudging through terrible winds and snow, and not an inspiring song about self-love and finding yourself. I wonder how that scene would’ve looked.
Maybe we can find something relating to that “unused” section of Ahtohallan in a book called “Anna, Elsa and the Secret River”. Basically Iduna tells them that there’s a secret river out there and after the lullaby Elsa and Anna go nuts and try to look for the river outside. Seems like it was all a shared acid trip because next morning they seriously consider it was a dream.
Tumblr media
Maybe here they didn’t realize they were in front of a river, because “Glaciers are rivers of ice” and this is what that Ahtohallan Elsa ventured into originally would’ve looked like? The white river doesn’t know...
Tumblr media
This is by far one of my favorite ones. I wouldn’t exactly describe post-Show Yourself as a moment of calm and peace. Maybe peace but definitely not calm. Then it says that the signal meant that “she managed to cross the sea”. That’s a really weird way to describe “horrifying ice statue of colonialist grandpa killing an innocent native man”. I don’t know if they’re hiding the actual plot here of if they hadn’t yet worked out all the details of SY and the moment Elsa found the truth.
Tumblr media
Anna has her cloak on as she finds the truth. Readers have no idea what this enlightening truth is because the ice statue is indistinguishable.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
As it shows here, the original Iduna being Northuldra reveal was going to happen in a different way. I’m glad we got that final version... Because wow, Elsa and Anna are completely unable to connect the dots here. Anna was smart enough to figure out what to do after receiving Elsa’s message, c’mon! This should’ve been piece of cake...
Tumblr media
 Iduna called Elsa “Little Snow”. This points to an alternate All is Found scene and we’ll talk about that more in depth later.
Tumblr media
Same scene. Translation is: 
“While tucking the little princesses in, Queen Iduna sang them a lullaby about a far-away river called Ahtohallan, which holds all the answers about the past.
“Does Ahtohallan know why I have powers?” asked Elsa her mother.
“If it exists, it definitely knows that and much more,” answered the Queen.
So in this earlier version, Elsa has always asked herself if Ahtohallan had the answer to her powers... Doesn’t this make Show Yourself work even better? Here she always looked for that answer and she’d learn that she is the answer. I wonder why they took it out because it makes a lot of sense and would give buildup to Show Yourself.
Tumblr media
Here what really matters are the squares with text. Olaf never ran through moss or became covered in it. Olaf never looks down a brook to be met by Nokk’s gaze from below. Maybe it’s an alternate When I’m Older?
And relating to that particular piece of merch:
Tumblr media
Seems like in an earlier version, the Nokk was associated with waterfalls.
Tumblr media
Everyone shut up there’s SWORD ANNA here. Found in a coloring book. I don’t speak Italian but Google Translate says: 
“Anna is a brave one: she does not hesitate to draw her sword to defend her sister Elsa and her friends from any new threat.”
GOOD FOR HER! This is definitely from the version we were shown in the teaser, when Anna wielding an actual sword and slicing someone with it was still a thing. Man, how I wanted that to happen...
_________________________
Alternate fully animated scenes found in animators’ posts
After the release of Frozen 2, animators started to post scenes they had worked on and showing the process behind them. Some of them were deleted, are different in the final movie, or have a completely different score accompanying them.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Adam Green (@agreenster) on Apr 6, 2020 at 5:31pm PDT
A completely different dialogue during the boat scene. Pretty heartbreaking and it’s even more buildup for TNRT, when Anna was left by literally everyone she loved in the planet.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Trent Correy (@trentanimation) on Apr 14, 2020 at 8:50am PDT
Apparently, for whatever reason, Gale was going to appear in the castle first.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Trent Correy (@trentanimation) on Mar 29, 2020 at 10:51am PDT
Olaf’s revival was going to be way different, and this implies that his death might’ve been different, too. Maybe his snow just dissipated and didn’t go anywhere? Maybe instead of being neatly placed by a waterfall, it fell all over the Enchanted Lands? I have no idea.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Mariusz Furmanczyk (@mariofurmanczyk) on Mar 21, 2020 at 7:11pm PDT
I absolutely LOVE this one, okay, and I have no idea why they’d leave it out. Turn your sound on and listen to the much more tragic alternate score. But more importantly, pay attention when she turns to solid ice: just like in F1 with Anna, her last breath is visible. Beautiful parallels, poetic cinema, and I’m hurt and confused and I want it in the movie. Excuse me while I call the police.
Tumblr media
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Mariusz Furmanczyk (@mariofurmanczyk) on Feb 26, 2020 at 5:47pm PST
Here the only change is the different score as she unfreezes. I love it so much. It’s so tragic, heavy and powerful. You can basically hear the fragility of Elsa’s fate as the ice breaks and she falls. Help. Here, here, and here, you can see other glimpses of this beautiful alternate score. Once again I’m calling the police and telling them Disney hurt my feelings by leaving this out.
I’ve hit the 5 videos limit already, but here is a link to an animation by jdublish. The change isn’t the scene itself but the completely different siren call Elsa hears. Much more ominous and creepy and I also love it, even though I have to admit the final siren call sounds catchier and more iconic. Also, kids under five won’t start crying of fear when they hear it.
Then there were also plenty of changes in the Elsa vs Nokk scene and we got to see one. Thanks to @justlookatthosesausages for pointing this out and letting me use her gif! The original video was set to private for some reason so I can’t post a Youtube link, but this is @justlookatthosesausages‘ gif:
Tumblr media
Elsa struggled way more in the original version. Go to her post to see a comparison with the final version.
And now the awaited All is Found alternate scene! Thanks a lot to @lovewillthaw-j who helped me collect all the scenes. 
First two scenes from the trailers: the Official one, Elsa looks up and Iduna gazes at the northern lights.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Japanese one, in which Iduna kisses Elsa’s hands. @catloafs pointed that out after F2′s release so thanks!
Tumblr media
And the last two were found by @antoineharrakblog, so thanks for that! Here and here.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
BUT there’s no need to click a bazillion links because @lovewillthaw-j‘s post reconstructs in a single video what the original scene would’ve been like. Go watch it!
UPDATE: Additions by @antoineharrakblog​. Thanks a lot!
Here we can see that originally, as the elements fled and Kristoff held Olaf, he yelled, “Wow, you’re heavy!”. Don’t know why this would be removed. Maybe they wanted to keep the scene serious? Maybe they needed to shorten the movie so that it didn’t exceed 100 minutes and cut little jokes like that?
 And here, showing Elsa seeing how Iduna saved her father, there’s some deleted dialogue: “Get the prince out of here!” “King Runeard, what did you decide?” in addition to a much more tense score in general.
_________________________
UPDATE: Screencaps of deleted/alternate scenes
Thanks a lot to @antoineharrakblog for bringing all of these pictures to my attention! Multiples screencaps have appeared in different magazines or books that clearly didn’t make it to the movie.
Tumblr media
Anna never makes that movement in the final movie. There’s more proof of an alternate/extended “Elsa and Anna talk” scene.
Tumblr media
This is another one. There exists a lower quality version of this picture which I can’t find right now, but it shows that Anna and Elsa are sharing kransekake in this particular scene (the particular food that we can see at the beginning of OFA).
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
These are all part of the All is Found scene we’ve been talking about. In the final movie we can see that All is Found serves as a sort of “bridge” between the past and the present, as it transitions from Iduna singing the song to Elsa to Elsa in the castle, reminiscing. But originally, Iduna finished singing All is Found in the past. There’s proof of this here. 
_________________________
UPDATE: Novelization deleted content
This information was provided by @theupsidedownpyramid​ so thanks a lot! There are some really interesting deleted scenes in the novelization.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
In this one, Elsa felt the urge to release her magic after hearing the voice at the end of All is Found.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
In the novelization Mattias and Yelena’s (or Yelana? Disney will never decide) relationship was a lot deeper than what was shown in the movie.
For more information and a more thorough analysis, read @theupsidedownpyramid​‘s reblog!
_________________________
Miscellaneous
So there’s only one image in this section but believe me, it’s so worth it. 
Tumblr media
An animator casually mentioned that there was going to be a head kiss scene. Process it. Can’t? I can’t either.
_________________________
Wow I’m TIRED. I must’ve missed something but that’s all my brain can handle as of now. Thank quarantine for giving me the opportunity to work on this post all day.
Disney committed war crimes when they deleted some of these scenes. I have only one question: Why in the world would they do that? And more information might see the light of day in the future. I’ll never get tired of trying to piece together the convoluted puzzle that is the original Frozen 2.
I will update this post if I remember something else or if someone else has more content to share. Let’s reconstruct F2 together to visualize that movie Disney deemed too cool for us!
UPDATE: Into the Unknown: the Making of Frozen 2 Documentary finally has a concrete release date, June 26th. Let’s hope we can see more stuff then!
343 notes · View notes
mytastessuck · 3 years
Text
Gorillaz: Plastic Beach
Tumblr media
mAh, nostalgia. This album was my high school years. I got a digital copy for my birthday from my mom and became obsessed with this album well into college. The dominance of electronica, the use of people with great voices, the expansion of the lore, Lou Reed...this album was all of music when I got it. It's my favorite Gorillaz album and it looks like it's gonna stay that way for a while. But how is it on a not even approaching semi-objective level? Let's find out.
1. Orchestral Intro
You can probably guess it by my awful taste but I'm not really into orchestra. This opening though, with the sound of waves and the mourning instruments, really tipped me off that I was in for something different. This album wasn't going to start off with something chill or even a zombie movie clip. No, at this point, Gorillaz were officially done fucking around.
10/10
2. Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach
Then we get the brass leading us into a good beat and then HOLY SHIT, SNOOP DOGG?! He leads us in like a bandleader while a chorus of women back him up Just Like That while he goes with his usual flow. He adds the needed touch of instant cool to an album that's practically frozen with the artists already on it and with this song, it feels like you're walking past the gate into Disneyland.
9/10
3. White Flag
Some nice Arabian sounding instruments on this one. Pretty cool for Gorillaz to keep engaging in world music. Anyway, this was a really cool instrumental but it's time to move on to the other son---
Huh?
Suddenly, we get beeps and mixes backing up Bashy and Kano as they kick so much ass talking about pacifism for the sake of survival. This song kicks an undisputed amount of ass and it barely even tries.
9/10
4. Rhinestone Eyes
What I like about this song is that I keep finding new things to like about it as the years go back. First, I liked the weirdly-threatening nature of the song along with the woman moaning in time with the verses. Then I liked the video (even though it was insanely shady of EMI to release that without Damon's and Jamie's permission and it ended up being the thing that led to Phase 3's premature ending and Gorillaz going on hiatus). Then I liked the continuation of the moaning that I first noticed in live performances then finally heard in the song itself. This song is like Rolexes falling from the sky.
10/10
5. Stylo
Ah, the first single from the album. I remember telling my dad about this when I first saw the video for it. I was about to write off Gorillaz as a relic of my past before I saw Murdoc and 2D get run off the road by Bruce Willis. This song has an awesome bridge by Yasiin Bey, nice crooning by Damon Albarn and incredible back-up by Bobby Womack, who manages to lift the entire song over his head using just his voice. Damn, wish he had another song that put his voice on full display. Maybe later in the album...
10/10
6. Superfast Jellyfish
Yeah, De La Soul is back! And they're singing about TV dinners! Seriously, these guys can make guessing crossword actually fun instead of a dredging experience and have Shiny Toy Guns frontman Chad Petree singing about radioactive seas brings the whole thing home. It makes you want to really go out and eat a random jellyfish but don't do that. It'll hurt.
11/10
7. Empire Ants
Okay, before I give this song its totally fair score, it should be noted this is my third favorite song of all time. I love Damon's reassuring lyrics in the beginning but the switch in the middle to a more upbeat electronic pop tune pushes this song past perfect.
Then there's Little Dragon...
This song introduced to me to Yukimi Nagano's voice and wow...I didn't think humans could sound like that, let alone an Asian woman singing soul. If you think the instruments are carrying her here, obviously there are clearly no other songs on the album that showcase her talents so I have to recommend After The Rain, Twice and Constant Surprises by Little Dragon. Seriously, this woman's voice will water your fucking crops.
500/10
8. Glitter Freeze
Where is north from here? Don't ask me, I'm not a compass. Anyway, this song has Mark E. Smith from The Fall and they use him to his fullest extent...by which I mean letting him make an absolutely evil fucking laugh somewhere near the end. The instrumentation makes it feel like you're in a storm on a shaky ship and you're definitely going to feel like you need some pills after you're finished. This stuff will put hair on your chest.
11/10
9. Some Kind of Nature
This song introduced me to Lou Reed and I'm grateful to it for that. Lou was a shitty dude but damn his voice really made things better than they should have been. Fuck, I was one of the eight defenders of Lulu for this reason. But Damon doesn't sit with his thumbs up his ass on this song. He holds his own and makes the chorus sound legitimately dreamlike. All we are is stars, indeed.
100/10
10. On Melancholy Hill
This song is awesome to chill to...unless you're escaping a cruise ship while being gunned down by fighter jets. But other than that particular example, I recommend this song for anyone trying to relax while thinking of someone special. But be careful with the last note of this song. That gong can be a real eye opener.
9/10
11. Broken
Bummer of a song but if there's one song you absolutely NEED to learn on melodica, it's this one. Aren't we all broken? Well I am. And this song speaks to me.
10/10
12. Sweepstakes
Yasiin's back and there's gonna be trouble. He plays a carny in this track and you know that no matter how many times you listen to this song, you'll always gonna fall for his schemes. He's gone on to say that this is one of his finest achievements as a MC and I can see why.
10/10
13. Plastic Beach
Holy shit, they got the 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover guy on this track. Makes since because this, outside of Empire Ants, is my favorite song on the album. The harmony, the little imp they got for the bridge, the triangle...everything makes this song better than it has any right to be on an already awesome album. Damn, plastico indeed.
200/10
14. To Binge
Shock of all shocks, Yukimi's back! And it's a duet with Damon! And it's a song about a relationship torn apart by addiction! It's not my birthday so it must be Christmas. These two manage to drown the listen in waves of audio goodness that leaves them feeling like they spent 3 minutes and 56 seconds standing under a waterfall.
20/10
15. Cloud of Unknowing
Okay, I cried to this song. And now, with Bobby Womack's passing, I cry even harder. This song should be an anime ending with how solemn it is but you need to listen to the end to hear, "It may bring sunshine on its wings." Also, Damon covered this song live after Womack's passing. I suggest you look it up because it is tear-ripping.
50/10
16. Pirate Jet
Eh. Pretty average song compared to the others on the album but I appreciate the message. Sweet Lord, people. Turn off your shit when you're not using it. We only got one planet and I don't trust Elon Musk.
8/10
Album Score: 60.1/10
Whoo! No biases! Anyway, next week is The Fall, otherwise known as the album Albarn did on his Ipad. Otherotherwise known as the album a significant portion of the fandom has a hate-on for. Does it deserve the hate? We'll find out!
19 notes · View notes
liathgray · 3 years
Note
hello its me writing anon howre you 💜💜💜
so like,,, in honor of that one anon who said they liked your advice as well and couldnt wait to try out your tips (anon if youre reading this youre doing amazing i love you 🥺💗🥺💗) can i ask about: like basic writing tips that you think really improve your writing?
i periodically just go back and reread the writing advice and guides i got as a kid to like return to the basics and make sure i dont over complicate everything as i tend to do. its nice to remind myself that writing can be simple and not like super amazing and award winning or whatever.
also ooh what kinda warm ups do you do???? i have a lil kit of warmup prompts from barnes and nobles that i use when i remember to :O
you dont have to answer of course and thank you so much in advance if you doooooo 💜💜💜 take your time dont rush its ok 💝💝💝 stay safe and take care of yourself 💕💕💕 (and also your new au idea seems 🔥🔥🔥)
Helloooo my darling! I will preface this by saying that I am very very invested in the Big Picture of writing and structure and all that fun stuff, so I won’t have as much advice but I will certainly try! (also... ty.. I love you)
1) Give characters a different voice. Something I do for this is assigning different styles of diction and humour to certain characters. I sort out how I imagine their thought process to be and try to get myself in the same headspace while I write.
2) Don’t edit right away. Write as much as you can while you’re feeling it, let that stream of consciousness run its course and then step away. Don’t touch it for a day or so, then go back to what you wrote and see what works and what doesn’t.
3) If you can’t write, try to consume instead. I hear a lot of people talking about burnout when it comes to writing and even as someone who writes to relax, I sometimes get this. Personally my favourite thing to do is watch video essays or listen to spoken word. (Links to some cool stuff: Video essay, video essay, spoken word)
4) Contrast is your best friend, dude. Juxtaposition can add so much to any given scene. Like, say someone just got great news and its pouring rain outside. Or holding something beautiful with dirty hands. You can highlight a lot of details through contrast.
5) If a scene isn’t working, ask if you even need it. Sometimes a scene that feels exhaustive... is. You might be able to communicate the same information through a few lines of exposition. That way you get to write the Good Kush sooner.
6) Check a thesaurus. Genuinely can be very helpful especially in describing complex emotions. Helps to find the right way to phrase things and also find euphonic words, which is a personal lifelong obsession (cellar door...)
7) Write down the series of events first. Sometimes a scene feels clunky even when you know where you want it to go, so it can be helpful to write out the events/ turning points. It makes it easier to move between ideas.
8) If you have dialogue ideas, write it. This is something I do a lot where my brain will just start going haywire with line after line in a conversation (curse of the screenwriter..) for like... a whole page with no tags or descriptions. And that’s okay! Write those ideas down because you can go back later and add to it!
9) Unclench your jaw. Crack your back. Stretch. Look away from your laptop. Get some tea. Have snacks with you.
10) Timeskips are sexy. I think this one is pretty self explanatory but you can and should do timeskips. Keeps the pacing brisk!
11) When you’re describing something, get unconventional. Just go hog wild. Maybe someones skin feels like unsanded wood. Maybe that stray cat looks like it tried to take a bath in battery acid. Maybe the garden across the street smells like Mother Nature got drunk and invented a bad perfume.
I’m gonna be totally honest.... I usually don’t do warmups. Sometimes I’ll write a bit and then decide to start that section over, but I just sorta put on headphones and blast some movie scores and go to town  on it.
55 notes · View notes
tonyhightowerv1 · 3 years
Text
The NHL, Boxing, & Ignoring The Right Thing To Do
Some days I wake up & pay attention to the news a bit, just to see what's happening.
The NHL Draft was last night, and I shouldn't have bothered with it, because I'm still angry at my Leafs for shitting the bed, again, in the playoffs (it's been 17 years since we last won a playoff round, and they've not won the Cup in my lifetime), but apparently the Montreal Canadiens, the most storied team in the sport, a team currently managed by Marc Bergevin, a guy who 10 years ago, when he ran player personnel for the Chicago Blackhawks, was somehow (it isn't clear) involved in hiring and/or protecting a video coach who sexually assaulted a bunch of teenaged players, the facts about which are only coming out now, and which look pretty damning for everyone involved, Marc Bergevin is now the General Manager of the Canadiens, and in the first round, they picked a guy who's been found guilty of sexual assault.
He apparently circulated pictures of a girl without her consent or knowledge while playing minor hockey in Sweden, and was found guilty under Sweden's assault laws. Now, he's expressed remorse, sure; he specifically asked the NHL to not draft him this year, so he could spend time and focus on improving himself and atoning for this in some way. And he's not some ultra hotshot phenom kid that people couldn't keep their hands off.
He's a guy, and even if you just think he made some kind of youthful mistake -- that would be a very bad take, which says a lot about you, not much of it good -- there's no need to reward him with getting picked, especially when he specifically asked not to.
But Bergevin, with the Blackhawks scandal hanging over him, chose this guy anyway. In the first round.
Not only that, the Canadiens had a statement about him pre-loaded & ready to go. Shareable graphic and everything.
https://twitter.com/CanadiensMTL/status/1418780212469411841
But no, instead, it's about this guy. Not even the girl he victimized. Him.
He tried to warn everyone off drafting him, which is to his credit, I guess. But Bergevin saw this kid, and decided, we need him in our organization. As is.
How good is he? Not that it matters in the slightest, but... he's a late 1st round defenseman. If he continues to develop, he'd basically make the show in 5 years or so. No one's projecting him to be an all-star or anything. There was no urgency; he was never going to make the cover of a Wheaties box or carry the flag at the Olympics. Even without the sexual assault conviction.
Marc Bergevin is a Hockey Guy, to the bitter end. But he's got a history -- and, apparently, a present -- of ignoring sexual abuse. There's no place in the sport, or in polite society, for that mindset. Certainly not now.
* * *
So, all this made me think about boxing.
For most of the 20th century, boxing was the biggest sport in the world. Fights filled arenas and stadiums around the world. The Heavyweight Champion was treated like a Head Of State; they'd dine with royalty, speak at major world events, their fights would be recorded and shown in theaters (and run for months), and then when television appeared, fights would be shown in prime time, and draw ratings better than any other sport.
In the early 1970s, Muhammad Ali was known, famously, as the most famous human being alive. (And Neil Armstrong and Chairman Mao were, like, right there.)
But boxing was deeply corrupt, and many of its stars were more than merely flawed, and every once in a while, someone would die in the ring, and so they stopped showing the fights in prime time, and the champions didn't really add much to the global conversation, and the promoters were ignoring a lot of bad things their star fighters were doing, because they were more focused on getting their cut of the gate receipts than they were in maintaining a product that kept new fans coming through the turnstiles.
And sometime in the mid-1980s, boxing's popularity started to wane. After Ali & George Foreman retired, there was a bit of a charisma vacuum at the top of the sport (I mean, Holmes & Holyfield seem like relatively decent guys, but the Crown Prince of Monaco isn't inviting them to a state dinner anytime soon); the welterweights & middleweights (Hagler, Hearns, Leonard, Duran) were compelling in the ring, but aside from Sugar Ray Leonard, none of them were particularly interested in being terribly showy.
And then Mike Tyson showed up at the end of the decade, and everyone was excited again, until he raped someone & went to prison for it, and got a face tattoo, and the slow decline of the sport became clear to everyone, and that was pretty much it for boxing as a major global sporting concern.
Sure, it still exists, but it's nowhere near what it was. If you want to watch boxing somewhere, you need to find a stream from somewhere on the other side of the world. Fans of hand-to-hand combat sports have gravitated to UFC & MMA, sports that 40 years ago literally no one outside of Brazil or Thailand had ever heard of; fans of the spectacle of fighting, the weigh-ins & pre-fight braggadocio, the As The Buckle Turns, well, they'll always have WWE & the other Steroid Soaps.
Boxing is irrelevant now. They took the biggest sport in the world, and through neglect and ignoring the serious problems at its core, they just... pissed it away.
I'm not usually the kind of person to bemoan moral depravity. (I actually like GG Allin's music. I think it's kinda funny.) But sports are entertainment that uses actual people instead of actors. Like entertainment, you want a compelling story, or at least some kind of ethos, or a thought-shape, that keeps people interested and wanting to come back. You can be heroic, or villainous, but you don't want people to see your product and think, eww, yeah, no.
With actors or songwriters (or pro wrestlers), you can build a storyline out, write a script, point the lights in a certain direction. Each game lasts this long, it builds to a crescendo in this way, when our team scores, we shoot off this cannon, when Mariano Rivera enters from the bullpen we play Metallica; the crowd expects those beats, and they're all part of the drama build. But the players are actual people, and there is no script, so you want to start with a cast that people will want to cheer for (or against) without feeling awful.
If you deny people that basic pleasure for long enough, they'll start looking elsewhere.
I've been a serious hockey fan my whole life. It's been my favorite sport since I was old enough to have an opinion. I've gone in & out on baseball, and over the years, the NFL has lost me to their CTE issues & their tone-deaf billionaire owners treating their players like chattel. But hockey, despite having some of those issues, and my Toronto Maple Leafs, as historically disappointing as they have been, have stuck with me. And I with them.
But the way the Blackhawks have dealt with these abuse allegations, and Montreal choosing this convicted assaulter with their first choice (and there've been a couple of other events; last year, Arizona chose a guy who repeatedly & publicly harassed a disabled person of color, and who has never apologized; they later rescinded their pick), I'm starting to wonder if hockey, a sport that doesn't have the mass momentum of boxing or football in their heydays, has already seen its zenith.
And that thought just makes me so very sad.
6 notes · View notes
jungshookz · 4 years
Note
I would love a uni!yoongi & y/n drabble💓💜
Tumblr media
🌿pairing; min yoongi x reader
🌿genre; uni!yoongi, university!au, fluffy fluffy fluff!!!!!!! uni!yoongi owns my heart and my whole ASS 
🌿wordcount; 2.8k 
🌿what to expect; “and another fun fact! the mistletoe plant actually contains toxic amines, and eating its berries can cause vomiting and stomach pain.”
🌿note; outraGEOUS that a mistletoe emoji has yet to exist!!!! unfortunately i wasn’t able to do a 12 drabbles of christmas this year due to finals but i hope this drabble makes up for it :-) if i’m a little rusty it’s only because this is the first drabble i’ve written in a while,..,,. hopefully i’ll have another drabble up before christmas!!! happy reading :^) 
                                       »»————- ✼ ————-««
if yoongi had a dollar for every time he wanted to scream at you for being denser than a block of tofu he would most definitely be a billionaire
he’s had this thought time and time again but he really doesn’t understand how someone so smart can be so dumb at the same time
he could be holding up a flashing neon sign pointing to him that said ‘i 100% like you and am giving you the green light to ask me out so all you have to do is ask!’ and you would still be like .,.,.y’all hear sumn?
anyways he doesn’t have time to think about when you’re finally going to make a move because it’s that time of the semester ladies and gents
yep
it’s finals season
now, traditionally, the way yoongi handles finals season is that he kind of just goes with the flow
as in he goes to the library and studies for two hours and decides that that’s enough time and dedication he’s putting into a particular class so he pretty much deserves the rest of the day off
and this technique has worked ever since his first year in uni so he’s stuck with it ever since
as long as he doesn’t flunk out of anything he’s fine!!!
but since getting to know you yoongi has adopted new techniques into his studying routine that doesn’t just include skimming over poorly taken notes from class for 5 minutes and then scrolling through instagram for 45 minutes and then taking a 2 hour nap
no no
now he has highlighted notes
now he has insanely detailed google docs
now he has flash cards
and not just flash cards
colour coordinated flash cards
crazy, isn’t it???
this is probably your guys’ fifth study session together and yoongi doesn’t want to toot his own horn or anything but he thinks he’s going to absolutely nail this chemistry final
he can tell anyone about the main types of chemical reactions without blinking
that’s how confident he is about his knowledge
and he knoWs it’s all because of you which most certainly doesn’t help him suppress his attraction towards you
how can he noT be attracted to the person who’s bumping up his GPA??
but yes
yoongi is confident and he feels like he doesn’t need to go over what synthesis reactions are for the tenth time in a row
(also he forget a stack of flash cards at home that u reminded him three times to bring with him today to which he responded with ‘i’m NOT going to forget them just relax’ and he’s hoping u forgot about them because you don’t play around when it comes to flash cards)
he wants this study session to be a little more lax
a little more chill
a little less conversation and a little more ACTION (but not in,.,. not in a pervy way or anything)
yoongi decided to bring a little special something just to make things a little more interesting aND to celebrate the holidays!!
he’s being festive!!
he even taped strips of jingle bells to the edges of his skateboard :-)
“okay, hydrogen bonds.” you flip your notebook onto its front before whipping around and letting out a breath “hydrogen forms hydrogen bonds with three elements. hydrogen is fun. hydrogen is fOn. hydrogen forms hydrogen bonds with fluorine, oxygen, and nitrogen.”
…yeah that sounds right
you turn back around and flip over your notebook before quickly searching for your notes
aH
yes!!!! you got it!!!! hydrogen is FON!!!! hyDRoGEN iS FON!!!!!
“up top, y/l/n!” you grin widely before giving yourself a high five
niCE
“just when i thought you couldn’t get any weirder.” you jump three feet into the air when you hear yoongi speak up and you let out a breath before placing a hand on your chest
“yoongi!” you clear your throat and lean back against the table a little bit
you’re just going to play it off as if you didn’t just tell yourself to give yourself a high five
“what, uh, what took you so long?”
yoongi raises a brow before checking the time on his phone “i’m three minutes early.”
you turn back a little to look at the time on your laptop
huh
would you look at that
yoongi is early
and of course you’re here before scheduled because of who you are as a person
“…well, what are you doing just standing there? let’s get to work!!” you clap your hands together before looking at yoongi expectantly and gesturing for him to take a seat
“just so that you’re aware, i’m pretty sure i know more about the different types of chemical reactions than you.”
you raise a brow before crossing your arms
that is certainly a vEry bold statement because you could talk about the different types of chemical reaction for hours and hours on end
“oh, really?” you scoff playfully as you turn to wipe down the whiteboard
you’ve been tutoring yoongi for the past couple of weeks without expecting anything in return
honestly it’s just fun to ramble on and on about something that you’re confident about aNd it’s fun to see the panic in his eyes when you ask him a question about what you just talked about
and!!!! teaching someone else about the thing that you have to review yourself is actually a pretty effective studying strategy
you tried the practice test the other night and you got 98% so it’s safe to say you’re going to make this final exam your biTCH-
“yep.” yoongi sighs and leans back against his chair “in fact, i bet you that i’ll get every single one of your questions right this session.”
“what happens if you don’t?”
“if i get even one question wrong, i will… play one of your dumb studying games.”
your eyes widen in excitement
“charades for chemists??” (an exciting upgrade from the original version of charades)
((u have to try to act out a reaction))  
((it’s a lot more exciting than it sounds))
“but if i get every single one of your questions right, you’ll have to play one of my games.”
“…what kind of game?”
“you’ll just have to find out, won’t you?” yoongi smiles sweetly “it’s nothing like your dumb charades game, i can tell you that.”
you narrow your eyes suspiciously and yoongi shrugs
there’s no way he’d be able to get all of your questions right
obviously it’d be great if he got all of them right because that means these tutoring sessions are actually working but then again it’s yoongi
yoongi who uses pipettes to squeeze tiny spurts of air in your face just because ‘it’s fun!!’
yoongi who has the balls to juggle glass beakers in the middle of a lab in front of the professor
it’s yoongi
of course the idiotic things he does in class doesn’t exactly correlate to his intelligence
he actually did pretty well on the last lab report
“you have three seconds to decide if you wanna do this or not otherwise the offer’s off the table.” yoongi waves a hand in front of your face and you straighten up a little before sticking your hand out for him to shake
“alright, min yoongi. game on.”
the corner of yoongi’s mouth twitches in a devilish smile
honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.
you flip your notebook open to the page where you have a bunch of practice questions written down and you skim the list
alright
you’ll throw yoongi a bone
“we’ll start off easy. what’s the difference between exothermic and endothermic reaction-“
“endothermic takes in energy - for example, ice melting - and exothermic gives off heat - for example, lighting a match.” yoongi answers without blinking
o
okay
that answer was word for word what you have written down in your notes
you should probably reconsider the whole throwing a bone thing
if anything u should probably take a couple bones away from yoongi
your competitive streak immediately kicks in once you realise the score board is 1-0 and you’re on the 0 end
“what does synthesis gas consist of?” you raise a brow
“before i answer that - you forgot to add a tally under my name.” yoongi points to the whiteboard and you kiss your teeth before whipping around and begrudgingly drawing a tally on the scoreboard “good girl.”
(you’ll never admit to him that hearing him call you that made your stomach do a little flip)
“answer the question.”
“synthesis gas is a fuel gas mixture consisting of hydrogen, carbon monoxide, and carbon dioxide. it intermediates in creating synthetic natural gas and for producing ammonia or methanol.”
.,,.,.and that’s 2-0 to yoongi
what in the hELL is going on
u know what
it’s fine!
it’s fine
maybe he’s just having a lucky day
all he has to do is screw up once
“-due to the conjugation double bond character in alkyl halide.” the fact that yoongi’s inspecting his nails as he answers your final question is oddly vERy irritating
you can’t believe it
yoongi got all 10 of your veRy tricky questions right
you should be proud because it’s because of you that he knows that he’s talking about but at the same time you didn’t think you were doing thAt great of a job at teaching him!!!!
but you’re looking at the scoreboard and it’s 10-0
there are 0 tallies under your name!!! ZERO!!! under youR NAME!!!
and now you have to play yOOngi’s dumb game instead of charades for chemists
if anything it’s his loss
“i told you you have to close your eyes to play my game.” yoongi reaches over to shut your notebook after he catches you glancing at it (to make sure he actually got the answers right and you didn’t misread anything) for the fifth time in two minutes
you have to accept defeat whether you like it or not
you let out a sigh before crossing your arms and shutting your eyes “what are the rules of this game? how does one win?”
“i’m going to show you something-“ you hear yoongi unzip his backpack “and you have to identify what it is and tell me what its purpose is within 30 seconds.”
huh
sounds easy enough
“so i win just by doing that?” your brows furrow and you resist the urge to open your eyes
“i guess you could say that.” you hear yoongi’s footsteps against the carpet and you freeze when you feel him standing right in front of you
“alright, open your eyes.” you immediately open them and-
“so, tell me, y/n-” yoongi lets out a sigh before glancing up at the mistletoe that he’s holding up in between the two of you “what do we have here?”
you swallow thickly and keep your eyes glued on the mistletoe
u know what that is
and u know what its purpose is
you could easily win this game right here and now so u don’t know what’s stopping you
you can feel yoongi staring at you and you know that if you make eye contact with him right now you will definitely combuST into flames
“that’s, um, well, i’m not a, uh, i’m not a botanist or anything, but that is a… that’s mistletoe.” you clear your throat “that is… mistletoe.”
“uh-huh. and, remind me again - isn’t mistletoe particularly special this time of the year?” yoongi hums and takes a step closer to you
you jump a little when you feel the bottom of the whiteboard dig into the small of your back
the little metal tray holding the whiteboard markers clatters a marker plops to the ground but you’ll deal with that later
because now it’s time to do what you do best
D E F L E C T
“mistletoe are actually hemiparasitic plants in which they kinda just suck water and nutrients from their host tress. did you know that?”
yoongi resists the urge to roll his eyes
he knows exactly what you’re doing (out of nervous habit) but for your sake he’ll play along
“oh yeah?”
“yep. and another fun fact! the mistletoe plant actually contains toxic amines, and eating its berries can cause vomiting and stomach pain.”
“…didn’t you say you weren’t a botanist-”  
“-but if we’re talking about its relevance to the christmas holidays, then… well, traditionally, people, um, people… kiss underneath them.” you finish quietly and your eyes instinctively flicker down to yoongi’s pouty lips
“i like you a lot, y/n.” yoongi breathes out and you feel your heart hiccup
your cheeks flush and you feel the heat rushing up to your ears
o god
a couple seconds of silence goes by and you wonder if yoongi can hear your heart pounding in your chest
“if you don’t feel the same way, i-“
“i like you too.” you murmur shyly and yoongi lets out what sounds like a breath of relief
before he gets the chance to roAST you for taking so long to finally admit it to him, you’re pushing your lips against his in a gentle kiss with your hand pressed against his cheek
it takes yoongi a second to register that you initiated a kiss with him but once his brain catches up to his body, he starts kissing you back
a smile tugs at his mouth when you take a step closer to him and he automatically loops an arm around your waist before carelessly tossing the mistletoe aside
yoongi tilts his head as he deepens the kiss and the quiet ‘fuck’ he lets out when you nip at his bottom lip almost immediately makes you lightheaded
it’s when you’re reminded that literally anyone passing by the room would be able to see you through the glass door that you drag yourself away (reluctantly) and yoongi unintentionally lets out a whine
“so did i win?” your cheeks are still rosy and your heart is still racing but you’re trying to play it off as if you’re totally cool about kissing yoongi and that you’re totally cool about the mutual attraction between the two of you but that fact that you’re kinda bouncing on the balls of your feet like an excited child is probably not helping your case
and yoongi’s smiling so widely his cheeks are starting to hurt but it’s totally worth it
:-) !!!!
“you won but i’m still marking you down for killing the mood by talking about vomiting and stomach pain.”
help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)
drabble tag
872 notes · View notes
grailfinders · 3 years
Text
Fate and Phantasms #150: Merlin
Tumblr media
Today on Fate and Phantasms we’re finishing the last build in Observer on Timeless Temple, the man who broke the meta, Merlin! I’ll be honest, I really wasn’t expecting we’d make it this far. Anyway, you’re a Divination Wizard, because no shit. You’re a wizard, you can see the future, you kinda cheat at life, everything else just falls into place. You’re also a Fighter, because you also keep a shortsword stashed in your staff in case of emergencies.
Check out his build breakdown below the cut, or his character sheet over here!
Next up: A dimension-hopping bisexual. That’s not a phrase I ever thought I’d say, but I’m glad I did.
Race and Background
Merlin’s half Incubus, giving him immense magical power. Thankfully we can match that lineage one for one with the Abyssal Tiefling, an old UA that gives you +2 Intelligence, +1 Charisma, Darkvision, Abyssal Fortitude for half your level (rounded down, minimum 1) in extra HP, and Abyssal Arcana. That last one’s a bit complicated, so give us a second. 
Each long rest, you randomly get one of six cantrips by rolling a d6 (aside from the one you just had, you have to re-roll if that happens). You can get Dancing Lights, True Strike, Light, Message, Spare the Dying, or Prestidigitation. You can cast that cantrip like you would any other cantrip at your disposal, although awkwardly enough they never mention what ability score you would use to cast it. (I would assume Charisma, but feel free to argue with your DM.) After you finish another long rest, replace the old cantrip with a new one.
Being stranded on the other side of the world makes you the premier Hermit, giving you proficiency with Arcana and Religion. 
Ability Scores
You know literally everything, so make your Intelligence as high as possible. You also don’t have much difficulty avoiding the consequences of your actions, so it’s safe to say your Dexterity is pretty good too. You managed to catfish a not insignificant portion of the human race during the Goetia Crisis, so your Charisma is up there as well. Your Constitution isn’t as strong, you’re pretty much unkillable but I’ll be damned if Quetz didn’t try. Your Wisdom is rather low- you thought betraying the second sun was a good idea- but we’re dumping Strength. You are wizard, no big surprise.
Class Levels
1. First level wizards get proficiency in Intelligence and Wisdom saves, as well as History (you were there for quite a bit of it) and Insight (you watch people long enough eventually you notice patterns).
You also learn how to cast Spells using your Intelligence. Like all wizards you get an obscene number of spells, so we’ll just mention the ones that are very important to the character here, though the character sheet has a full list.
Mage Armor, of course is super important for any wizard, as is your caster balls (Magic Missile). I’d also grab Charm Person to make the whole Magi Marie thing a bit easier. You can also get Find Familiar, if you really want Cath Palug that badly.
Lastly, you get an Arcane Recovery, letting you regain spell slots with a total level equal to half your level rounded up on a short rest once per long rest. Not having slots sucks, don’t do that.
2. Second level wizards learn a specialty, and Divination basically lets you cheat at everything thanks to your Portents. At the end of a long rest, you roll two 20s and save those results.  At any time before your next long rest, you can use one of those results to replace an attack, save, or ability roll you can see, once per turn. If you roll high, give it to Artoria. If you roll low, still give it to Artoria, it’ll be funny.
You also become a Divination Savant, making it cheaper and easier to copy divination spells.
3. Third level wizards get second level spells, but your Abyssal Arcana also grows stronger, giving you a random first level spell each long rest as well. You cast these spells as if you were using a second level spell slot once per long rest. They are Burning Hands, Charm Person, Magic Missile, Cure Wounds, Tasha’s Hideous Laughter, and Thunderwave. You’re a Grand Caster candidate, so it’s not like there’s a reason you couldn’t cast any of those.
We’re also spending your spells this level to enhance party members, with Enhance Ability and Magic Weapon helping out in and out of combat.
4. I know we just got cure wounds last level, but that’s a one in six chance of using it once per long rest. I’d hardly call that meta breaking. We’ll fix that by using your first Ability Score Improvement to grab the Magic Initiate feat, giving you the spells Light, Minor Illusion, and Cure Wounds more consistently (the last one is still once per long rest though).
5. Fifth level Abyssal Tieflings get one last boost to their Abyssal Arcana, giving them one of six second level spells each long rest. You could get Alter Self, Darkness, Invisibility, Levitate, Mirror Image, or Spider Climb. 
You also learn Dispel Magic to break through Tiamat’s Chaos Tide.
6. Sixth level divination wizards have Expert Divination, recharging lower level spell slots after expending another spell slot on a divination spell. The recharged slot also has to be 5th level or lower, but that’s hardly an issue right now. Very useful for someone who’s technically in another plane most of the time.
You also learn Major Image, for stronger illusory power, and Haste to make a chosen warrior more of a hero.
7. We’re now going to bounce over to Fighter real quick, you’re surprisingly quick to pull a sword on someone if you feel like it. The Dueling fighting style adds 2 to your weapon damage with one handed weapons, and Second Wind lets you spend a bonus action to heal yourself. 
8. Second level fighters get an Action Surge, letting you add an extra action to your turn once per short rest. 
9. For your fourth level spells, Hallucinatory Terrain will give your allies a glimpse of Avalon (healing and NP charge not included).
10. Use this ASI to bump up your Intelligence, and learn Charm Monster to keep Cath Palug from smacking you upside the head for the eight billionth time.
11. With fifth level spells you can finally insert yourself into others’ dreams thanks to the spell Dream. It takes a minute to cast, but afterwards you can enter a trance to hop into a target’s dreams. You can shape the dream to your liking, or just watch the fireworks. You can also turn into a nightmare to deal psychic damage and prevent any benefits from that sleep if the target fails a wisdom save.
12. Tenth level divination wizards can use The Third Eye to gain one special kind of sight each short rest as an action. You can choose form Darkvision, sight into the Ethereal Plane, the ability to Read any Language, or the ability to see invisible objects and creatures. 
13. Sixth level spells like Mental Prison make things a lot harder for your enemies, charming one target creature if it fails an intelligence save. If it succeeds, it only takes some psychic damage. If it fails, it takes the damage and it becomes surrounded by an illusionary prison, so it can’t move, see, or hear anything beyond its space. If it’s forcibly moved out, or is attacked/attacks through the illusion, it takes even more psychic damage and the spell ends.
14. If you’re going with the standard array, you’ve probably noticed by now that your intelligence is currently odd. Thankfully we can fix that and make your DM’s life so much harder all at once thanks to the feat Keen Mind, which we’re picking up with this level’s ASI. Your Intelligence goes up by one, you have a great sense of direction and timing, and you have eidetic memory of the last month.
15. Seventh level spells like Mirage Arcane are another bump in power, letting you warp the landscape in a square mile around you. You can even add your fancy looking tower to the illusion now! Still not a lot of healing though.
16. Your last divination goody is the feature Greater Portent, letting your roll three d20s per day instead of two. Yeah, portent’s just kinda busted.
17. Eighth level spells like Illusory Dragon are a massive upgrade, almost as powerful as you usually are. This lets you make a dragon illusion that takes up space, is tangible, and can really breathe fire. I’m not entirely sure how this is an illusion, if I’m being honest.
18. Use this ASI to bump up your Dexterity for less dying and more stabbing. You also learn the spell Demiplane, to create your own Avalon! As long as you don’t mind your Avalon being a 30′ cube room and nothing else. Still, it’s hard to beat that level of security.
19. Seventeenth level wizards get ninth level spells. Seriously, just grab as many as you can. Merlin’s a grand caster, literally nothing is beyond his reach, certainly not anything a D&D character could do.
20. Eighteenth level wizards gain Spell Mastery over a first and second level spell, letting you cast them at their lowest level like cantrips. Silent Image and Magic Weapon are both good for support, I’d pick those. It’s not a huge issue if you change your mind later, too- you can change spells after 8 hours of study. You also learn True Polymorph. Artoria’s gotta father a child somehow.
Pros:
With your maxed out intelligence, plus ways to confuse your enemies and buff your allies, you make for a pretty good support caster. I doubt that comes as a surprise.
Divination wizards are kinda busted? Three portents per long rest can seriously reshape a campaign if you’re smart with them.
Wish is also kinda busted? You know how a lot of builds I mention not getting to ninth level spells as a con? Now you get to find out why.
Cons:
You’re squishy, which also isn’t too surprising. With an AC of 16 and HP barely scratching past one hundred, You probably won’t want to actually use your sword that often.
Despite healing being the big draw of your FGO counterpart, we didn’t really get that much in this build. You get one to two uses of Cure Wounds per day, plus your second wind. Not exactly meta defining.
Most illusions and buff spells use concentration, so good luck holding onto those with a con save of +1. It also means you have to pick and choose what you’re doing at any one time.
56 notes · View notes