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petrareads · 2 months

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if you reblog this post I will appreciate it but also your life will change in no other way so do as you may

#and lemme know what silly names you give your pets that are not at all related to their actual names #thought this would be amusing #petrareads #petraposts #polls #pets #cat #dog

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aristoteliancomplacency · 1 year

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Beans.

My partner and I have a running joke with a friend. Every time he goes on holiday we increase the quantity of beans in his flat.

The first time we bought ~30 cans of kidney beans and hid them around the house like some Easter egg hunt thing but with beans.

The Second time we bought ~6kg dried white beans and hid those in various places. Nearly every receptacle that could safely hold beans became the home of beans. My personal favourite was emptying an oat milk carton, very carefully washing and drying it, filling it with beans and then just putting it back among several other cartons.

He went on holiday again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously there is an expectation of bean-based shenanigans. And obviously we have to beat our previous efforts.

Our friend has (had) a mosaic on his wall of the famous Marilyn Monroe Pop-Art by Andy Warhol. He made the mosaic himself. Over the last couple of weeks we have spent hours and hours assembling a frame, drawing up a pattern and gridding out a 70 x 70 frame and gluing an untold amount of beans to it. I have spent over 21 hours gluing beans to a frames.

For the last couple of days I ended up going to bed at 5:00 am because I lost track of time whilst experimenting with which types of glue works best with different beans (I now have *opinions* on this, y’all). The day of our friend’s return we spent the morning and afternoon grouting the piece and wiping it down and wiping it down again and wiping it down again because grout is just like that. In the evening we went to install the mosaic, just a few hours before his return. Here’s a comparison between the original and our clearly superior replication, and the new piece installed in its rightful place.

#marilyn monroe bohnsaik #sometimes you gotta make things out of beans #obviously we would not do things things if we thought our friend wouldn’t be amused by it #we’re already planning the next one #gonna have to be good to outdo this one

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bet-on-me-13 · 4 months

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Technically a Cult

So! Danny has been hearing through the Grapevine that a large Cult has been Summoning all the biggest Magical Creature's for some reason. Demon Lord's, Fae Kings, even a few Gods. Clockwork was summoned a little while ago, and so was Fright Knight and Pandora

And he has been patiently waiting his turn for a while. Apparently everyone they summon has gotten a really good deal from them, all in return for a few favors, sometimes a promise to not go to a specific place.

Danny really wants to strike a deal with them. He wants to ask them for a favor so he can get out of work for a few weeks, he's been planning on taking a vacation with Sam and Tuck, but the Eyeballs are being annoyingly resistant.

He feels the familiar pull of Summoning, and realizes that it's time. Awesome, time to meet this mysterious Cult!

...

Why is the JLA standing in from of him?

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dcxdp #Dc x dp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Dcu #Danny wanted to he summoned by a Cult so he could strike a deal with them #He wants to take a Vacation from his Ghost King duties #The JL has been Summoning a bunch if powerful Magical Beings to do a threat assessment #And if they are too dangerous they make deals so the Earth is safe from them #Danny thinks the JLA is a Cult disguising itself as a group of Heroes #“Wow I never would have thought of that. Your Cult is Way smarter than most other Cults I see”#The JLA is mortified #Constantine is amused #What did they think was going to happen when the summon all the biggest Magical Beings in the Multiverse #They're gonna gossip

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paimonial-rage · 1 year

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cocky bastard vibes - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which reader shares their free thoughts on the liyue statue of seven

notes: standalone snippet part of the bookkeeping!verse

It was a beautiful day in Liyue. The grass was a luscious green and the birds were singing a beautiful song. After a nice stay at the Emerald Maple Inn, you and Mr. Zhongli decided to have a cup of tea next to the Statue of the Seven before heading on your way to Qingce Village. You were to accompany him to pick up supplies for the next funeral rite, and with the way the morning was going, you knew nothing would ruin this peaceful day.

"So how much do you want to bet that Rex Lapis was hot and knew it?”

You ignored the choked sound that came from your side as you gazed up at the picturesque statue. Though your companion would probably consider your question quite out of the blue, you couldn’t say it was the first time you wondered such a thing. Whenever you passed by one of them in Liyue, the thought always plagued your mind for a few hours after. Judging by Mr. Zhongli’s reaction, though, it seemed he did not share your sentiments.

"Ehem… That… certainly is an interesting thought. I can’t say whether or not previous records touched on such a topic."

You hummed, gazing up at the statue. Really? That couldn’t be true. Why wouldn’t anyone talk about a statue looking like that?

“Well there are many reasons why I’d say I’m right. First off, his outfit. He has a hooded cloak on while also being shirtless. There’s absolutely no logical reason to dress like that unless they’re from the deserts of Sumeru, wouldn’t you say? It obviously was a conscious fashion decision. If you pair that with the seductive way he’s sitting, I’d be inclined to assume he’s quite clearly feeling his look.”

Silence came from your side. Hm, Mr. Zhongli still wasn’t convinced? Then you would go on.

“You do see it, right? His posture is relaxed, yet confident. Not to mention the way he’s looking at that cube in his hand with practically bedroom eyes. His knees are apart too. My friend from Sumeru told me that when a man sits like that, he’s displaying his dominance.”

Still silence.

"You can't sit in a seductive pose like that without on some level being aware you look good doing it. I mean look at him! He's shirtless and everything! I've heard even macho fishermen say that they pray to the statue for a good night before coming home to see their wives. You can’t blame them, right?"

A hesitant cough.

"I-I'm sure it was a younger time when those statues were sculpted."

You groaned.

"Maybe, but you’re not even looking! If you did, you’d agree with me that Rex Lapis is clearly exuding such massive 'cocky bastard' vibes!" You countered.

For some reason, the more you spoke, the more flustered he became.

"C'mon, Mr. Zhongli! Why are you so embarrassed? It's not like I'm slandering his good name! I mean, if Rex Lapis didn't want us talking about him like this, maybe he shouldn't have made a statue with abs clean enough to eat off of!"

Okay, maybe at this point, you were piling it on a bit thick. Could anyone blame you? His face was in his hand as if he had a headache, and were his ears tinged the slightest hint of red? It was an interesting sight. Never had you seen him look so completely flustered. Sure you were rather blunt, but you didn't think your words were that provocative. Mr. Zhongli really was practically a 65 year old man.

"I thought you respected the Geo Archon…" He muttered weakly.

You gasped in offense.

"I do! I’d even consider my words the utmost of pious behavior. In Mondstadt, the sisters of the church consider themselves married to Barbatos, the Anemo Archon. So finding the Geo Archon to be a sex god is pretty much the same thing, right?”

“No, it is not.”

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #zhongli #zhongli x reader #in which the author converts their first thought upon seeing the liyue statue of seven into written verse #like legit why he sit like that tho #like i’m not the only one right?#why is he sitting like he wants to seduce someone #there’s no logical reason anyone would sit like that unless they thought they looked damn sexy doing so #also if it isn’t clear reader is purposefully laying it on thick through this whole thing #it’s their turn to be amused they deserve it #he’s put them through enough #this is the dumbest thing i’ve ever written but i’m also not sorry #this is my magnum opus not the fischl one uwu #milk u made me finish this how dare you #bookkeeping!verse

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th1rt33n · 11 months

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oh boy i sure do love drawing characters standing around on a blank background ! my attempt to get a feel for how to draw a buncha trigun characters :o)

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lewisinho · 3 months

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‘within the rules’ mclazza growth mindset ain’t it

#it’s called progress guys #although another scandal ala spygate would be so funny #especially in this day and age #anyway i thought it was quite amusing how they had to emphasise ‘within the rules’

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anewp0tat0 · 1 year

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he's simply one hell of a nanny yes yes

#dude idk how this became an AU but somehow my senquence of day thoughts resulted in these images in my head #and so I rewatched 101 dalmations and eventually finished it #I remember loving the sketch yana had done(of him? that's how it was shared to me but idk could have been a tw character🙄)#but I never thought I would do anything in relation to it..... well I did! and actually I'm glad cause he looks like he's doing great.#fabulous #seba de ville lolollol #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji fanart #fanart #sebastian michaelis #vincent phantomhive #rachel phantomhive #my au #this probably doesn't make a lot of sense cause after all I don't have a lot of clue or context other than amusing thoughts #so atleast I hope the pictures are eye pleasing!

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w4nd3ring-0ddity · 1 year

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#cuphead #i dunno just thought this would be funny #like i find it amusing people are genuinely all over this dude #not like i don't get it but still #my art (/^3^)/

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epickiya722 · 1 month

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Teen Rumi will forever be adorable to me! 😭💜

Also, amuses me she had the nicknames "Usako" (from what I read it means "rabbit child" and some nickname Mamoru gave Usagi) and "Tiger Bunny".

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shoemakerobstetrician · 2 months

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I just went to play David Tennant on Spotify. I don’t have premium, so first I have to listen to a suggestion.

What I wanted to listen to:

The suggested track:

David Tennant

Nevertheless

Michael Sheen

#david fucking tennant #michael fucking sheen #David tennant #Michael sheen #ineffable husbands #spotify #Spotify suggests #@ingravinoveritas #i thought you would find this amusing #staged #staged bbc

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grntaire · 2 months

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listen i can suspend my disbelief in fics pretty far but you lose me at dom crowley

#it would be roleplay that aziraphale would find amusing and endearing #like who is he domming? bc it’s not mr control freak #thoughts

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asjjohnson · 2 years

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Random Danny Phantom thought.

Danny and them are sitting around somewhere and Dani's there, and Tucker warns Dani to never search for ghost stuff online because the Guys In White monitor that type of thing. And Sam mentions how, a few years before Danny got his powers, she'd done a search for something about spirits and then had to prove to them that she wasn't a ghost or had ties to any ghosts.

And Danny's like, "Wait, they do what? Because every time I get frustrated with my powers, I start searching the web for help with them. ...Never find anything useful, though."

So everyone stares at Danny for a moment, and Tucker asks how he's not in a lab right now.

(A week earlier at GIW headquarters, an agent at a computer mentions to his co-worker that someone just searched for 'how to ghost' from a certain IP address. His co-worker says it'll be coming from Fenton Works. One of the Fenton's kids does that exact same search every so often. It sounds like they're following in their parents' footsteps and searching for how to hunt ghosts. The Fenton kids and Valerie Gray are both on a list for possible recruits.)

When Danny's eighteen (and still has his secret), a Guys In White agent approaches him, and Danny blurts out that no, he's not a ghost.

The agent says he didn't ask if he was...? And then goes on to invite Danny to join the GIW.

So then... Danny might end up deciding to join the GIW. With them never realizing they have a ghost working under them.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #guys in white #I donno how the GIW would be able to monitor search results but probably something to do with cookies #...I just thought it would be amusing if Danny has a repeat of his home life but with a whole government agency.#Like they're all about finding and capturing ghosts and Danny's just... there with them.#Oh and whenever Danny's team comes across a ghost? It's a little like a Wes moment but with the entire Ghost Zone.#The ghosts—who know who Danny is—are just incredulous about it. Danny's a foot away from the other agents and they just... don't Notice?#The GIW job is part joke; part for the money; part to keep up-to-date with what they're up to.#everyone who knows Danny thinks he's crazy to get that job.#...but well it's kind of fun

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helpimtrappedinthetextbox · 2 months

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There should be an arc in the campaign that starts with "Fuck you, unfishes ur Gilly" and the whole arc is Gillion talkin shit about being human while they work to reverse it

Like, it's be so funny-

#jrwi #just roll with it #jrwi riptide #jrwi gillion #gillion tidestrider #jrwi chip #chip james #jay ferin #jrwi jay #and chipd be over in the corner trying to grapple with the fact that Gil is still hot #even by human standards #like aure he fell in love with the fishman. but that doesnt mean he wont love the lessfish man #jay would be in agony. like how is she supposed to deal with chip being like this abd a less fishy Gilly??#Gil would HATE IT HERE. like. not amused AT ALL.#did i add my own fnc thoughts to this #yes #yes i did

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steakout-05 · 1 month

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ok so i was in the shower one time and my brain trailed off and i just started imagining what if the Enterprise got a distress signal that has been sent from the 21st century and when they look at it it's just stupid ancient meme shitpostery. like they think they've come across a really weird time-travelling anomaly and they put it on main viewer and they just get colossally rickrolled from 300 years in the past. it hasn't left my head for the past few days so now you must witness my vision

Data: Captain, it appears we are somehow receiving an unusual distress signal originating from the ancient year of 2024.

*Picard and Riker exchange looks*

Riker: 2024..? That's impossible.

Picard: Hm... Unusual indeed. Put it on main viewer.

Data: Aye sir.

and then the viewscreen activates and it's just this

#this post is so stupid #the thought of rickrolls still being a thing in the 24th century is extremely amusing to me #star trek tng #star trek #the next generation #star trek the next generation #captain picard #star trek shitposting #shitpost #high effort shitpost #totally not me putting like 3 hours of editing into a tumblr shitpost teehee #holyshit wait imagine deanna troi being able to sense shitpostery from another vessel #''captain i sense intense rickrolling from the other ship''#BAHAHAHA that would be SO dumb #also sorry if the video is really loud i'm wearing headphones and i genuinely cannot tell what volume is considered normal #also also fun fact: i originally imagined this with the loss lines and data explaining that it's a symbol of ancient human shitpost culture #but that wasn't as funny as a rickroll just popping up on the viewscreen and immediately annoying picard #do you think q does this to the enterprise sometimes #waiting for the q episode where he just puts an unstoppable loop of this on their viewscreen for 10 hours and then leaves #rick astley #rickroll

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billford-dump · 7 months

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The only One Of Us au I can really see happening is Ford agreeing to Bill's deal only to demand the Milky Way galaxy, and to be allowed to finish living his human life before he goes with Bill. Which is only what? Twenty, thirty years? Yeah sure, have fun, seeya soon Sixer.

There's no clothing swap. Instead, Ford is the one agreeing to the deal. He reaches his hand out to shake, but just before Bill grabs it he snatches it back.

"But first- my price. You want that equation? Well I seem to remember you offering me my own galaxy. You give me the Milky Way, and I'll tell you how to leave Gravity Falls."

#gravity falls #bill cipher #ford pines #one of us au #i will likely add to this later bc i like the idea and find it amusing #side note would anyone be interested in those stranger avatar stan thoughts i had?#im not sure about posting them since this is a billford blog but if theres interest i will

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volivolition · 28 days

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don't talk to me or my son ever again

#de conceptualization #conceptualization #disco elysium #disco elysium skills #de skills #voliart #still trying to finalize a design for her (conceptualization not tangela hjkdshd)#i thought it'd be cool to put them in a frame? im still figuring out the logistics i want it to have. decided things (subject to change):#1) frame can shrink or grow as needed 2) frame floats 3) part of xer must always be passing through or touching the frame #4) frame is always aligned how the Square is aligned (so if the frame is facing horizontal the Square is also horizontal)#i might play with the canvas in the frame changing colors to suit her mood. it would be yellow here since xe's happy about tangela :)#i might also play with if xe can just hide parts of her body in the frame and not have them show on the other side?#maybe the frame grows with higher levels? and she just breaks out of the frame and goes fucking wild at max level. thats cool :]#anyway sidenote almost finished a different piece so thats exciting :3 i took a break and doodled a bunch of these little fellas #and then i drew this one with a tangela and laughed too much at it to not post it. this is so amusing to me hkdjd THE MOST CREATURE EVER!!

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