#like i’m not the only one right?
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cocky bastard vibes - zhongli
ship: zhongli x reader
synopsis: in which reader shares their free thoughts on the liyue statue of seven
notes: standalone snippet part of the bookkeeping!verse
It was a beautiful day in Liyue. The grass was a luscious green and the birds were singing a beautiful song. After a nice stay at the Emerald Maple Inn, you and Mr. Zhongli decided to have a cup of tea next to the Statue of the Seven before heading on your way to Qingce Village. You were to accompany him to pick up supplies for the next funeral rite, and with the way the morning was going, you knew nothing would ruin this peaceful day.
"So how much do you want to bet that Rex Lapis was hot and knew it?”
You ignored the choked sound that came from your side as you gazed up at the picturesque statue. Though your companion would probably consider your question quite out of the blue, you couldn’t say it was the first time you wondered such a thing. Whenever you passed by one of them in Liyue, the thought always plagued your mind for a few hours after. Judging by Mr. Zhongli’s reaction, though, it seemed he did not share your sentiments.
"Ehem… That… certainly is an interesting thought. I can’t say whether or not previous records touched on such a topic."
You hummed, gazing up at the statue. Really? That couldn’t be true. Why wouldn’t anyone talk about a statue looking like that?
“Well there are many reasons why I’d say I’m right. First off, his outfit. He has a hooded cloak on while also being shirtless. There’s absolutely no logical reason to dress like that unless they’re from the deserts of Sumeru, wouldn’t you say? It obviously was a conscious fashion decision. If you pair that with the seductive way he’s sitting, I’d be inclined to assume he’s quite clearly feeling his look.”
Silence came from your side. Hm, Mr. Zhongli still wasn’t convinced? Then you would go on.
“You do see it, right? His posture is relaxed, yet confident. Not to mention the way he’s looking at that cube in his hand with practically bedroom eyes. His knees are apart too. My friend from Sumeru told me that when a man sits like that, he’s displaying his dominance.”
Still silence.
"You can't sit in a seductive pose like that without on some level being aware you look good doing it. I mean look at him! He's shirtless and everything! I've heard even macho fishermen say that they pray to the statue for a good night before coming home to see their wives. You can’t blame them, right?"
A hesitant cough.
"I-I'm sure it was a younger time when those statues were sculpted."
You groaned.
"Maybe, but you’re not even looking! If you did, you’d agree with me that Rex Lapis is clearly exuding such massive 'cocky bastard' vibes!" You countered.
For some reason, the more you spoke, the more flustered he became.
"C'mon, Mr. Zhongli! Why are you so embarrassed? It's not like I'm slandering his good name! I mean, if Rex Lapis didn't want us talking about him like this, maybe he shouldn't have made a statue with abs clean enough to eat off of!"
Okay, maybe at this point, you were piling it on a bit thick. Could anyone blame you? His face was in his hand as if he had a headache, and were his ears tinged the slightest hint of red? It was an interesting sight. Never had you seen him look so completely flustered. Sure you were rather blunt, but you didn't think your words were that provocative. Mr. Zhongli really was practically a 65 year old man.
"I thought you respected the Geo Archon…" He muttered weakly.
You gasped in offense.
"I do! I’d even consider my words the utmost of pious behavior. In Mondstadt, the sisters of the church consider themselves married to Barbatos, the Anemo Archon. So finding the Geo Archon to be a sex god is pretty much the same thing, right?”
“No, it is not.”
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#zhongli#zhongli x reader#in which the author converts their first thought upon seeing the liyue statue of seven into written verse#like legit why he sit like that tho#like i’m not the only one right?#why is he sitting like he wants to seduce someone#there’s no logical reason anyone would sit like that unless they thought they looked damn sexy doing so#also if it isn’t clear reader is purposefully laying it on thick through this whole thing#it’s their turn to be amused they deserve it#he’s put them through enough#this is the dumbest thing i’ve ever written but i’m also not sorry#this is my magnum opus not the fischl one uwu#milk u made me finish this how dare you#bookkeeping!verse
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Currently losing my goddamn mind regarding the new D20 season announcement
#ramblings#9.23.23 edit: turned off reblogs because why are ppl still reblogging this is old now#dimension 20#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dimension 20 spoilers#this is all jokes but in all seriousness I literally stumbled when I saw Freddie IM SO EXCITED#but mainly!!! this cast!!! is so good!!!! I’m super excited#like tbh Danielle was like my fave part of misfits she was so funny??? and I feel like she didn’t get much time to shine#and I think Trapp is so fun like he was so good as sokbarr#and Siobhan is always a treat#literally only one person I don’t know in the cast but I’m excited!#also the theme seems right up my alley
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today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.
i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.
i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.
i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.
and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.
#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to#as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about#i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her#for all three of them but especially her#i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons#the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day#i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does#it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too#most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations#they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies#i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia
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Levi who has an untitled album in his phone and it’s all pictures of you. Most are candids in which you’re caught off guard. He’s talented at taking pictures without you noticing. There’s a picture of you sleeping, another of you snuggled up against his chest, one of you belly laughing, and more. However, his favorites are the ones that are the most ordinary, the ones that you personally don’t think are all that special. In these pictures you’re doing the most mundane things like laundry, washing the dishes, watching television, engaging in your favorite hobby, etc. He thinks you look beautiful in all of them. He doesn’t believe there needs to be a reason for him to take these pictures. You simply existing is reason enough for him.
#the headcanon that’s keeping me alive right now#he would never tell you about the album#it’s for his eyes only#you’re not going to see what he sees#one day when you’re both older he’ll make a collage of all the pictures and show you#but for now it’s his happy secret#also I know people have requested things and have sent messages I’m so sorry I haven’t answered I haven’t been okay for the longest#right now I’m just focused on dumb little headcanons like these makes me happy#anything and everything is overwhelming and tiring#would love to see me through his eyes#levi#levi ackerman#levi aot#levi x reader#levi x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi x y/n#levi drabble#levi headcanons#levi hcs#manda writes
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Little is Alyx 👎🏻
Little is Penny 👎🏻
Little is a reflection of Ruby in Vol.1 and is a physical representation of “healing your inner child” 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
#like seriously Little reminds me more of Ruby than Ruby herself right now#I relate to Ruby so much in just needing to be ok for everyone all the time for things to be stable#when WBY is talking about how they bring her up by saying ‘we count on you’ and ‘you can do it’ and that’s basically what I heard growin up#my therapist once told me that you have to be the friend and caretaker for that little girl who always had to be ok#that she is still inside of my heart and that I’m the only one who can be there for her now#and something about… making sure my inner child feels safe reminds me so much of Ruby’s relationship with Little#also Little’s mannerisms are just … so v.1 Ruby it’s just uncanny#’I want to help even though I may not know how’#that’s blind Ruby optimism if I’ve ever seen it#rwby#rwby spoilers#rwby9#rwby volume 9#rwby ruby rose#rwby v9#rwby volume 9 spoilers#rwby theory#ruby rose
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While I might be a SS-Otacon fan first, Kaz is my baby girl and the DDs are my favorites to be delusional about ❤️
#please I’m so insane and not right about them#id also hazard to say venom is my other baby girl but only the one in my head so I’m not sure yet#mgs#mgsv#venom snake#Kazuhira miller#revolver ocelot#diamond dogs#quiet mgsv#wife in other words ykwim#metal gear solid v#I’ll post girlfriend kaz later LOLLLLL#psycho mantis#liquid snake#do u like the mob psycho reference y/n ❤️
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something’s wrong?
#heheh what a name for a town. borger. brother that is a samdwich!!#I could prob talk about what this means to me but I don’t wanna#actually nvm I just thought of a funny way to describe the feeling:#you have two wolves inside of you. one HATES everything it sees soooo much. the other only sees beauty. you’re jaded.#or something like that#I’m trying to be conscious about only bending man-made structures and objects#unless it just looks extra cool to bend the natural stuff too#not rly a critical commentary. the basic premise is to show you how fucked up these little towns are;#while also communicating how they’re typically found in naturally beautiful places.#weird right? like finding ruins. it’s like these places settled and then worldly-priorities changed and everything fell apart#but you can tell - usually - that somewhere in the history of these small towns someone said:#‘what a fucking sweet view. let’s make camp’#my art#glitch art#aesthetic#art#artwork#webcore#glitchcore#internetcore#abstract#artists on tumblr#photography#abstract art#distortioncore#glitch#weird art#americana#southern gothic#angels
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You know something? I really do not like the way Netflix and other streaming platforms automatically skip the credits. I don’t like how I only get a ten second window to say “yes” to seeing all the names of the people who put their lives and expertise into producing something that has entertained or educated me in some way.
The least they could do is make me fast forward, if I really don’t want to see them.
But generally speaking, for me? I want to see those names.
#it used to be just a fun thing for me and my brothers to do - pointing at the screen like#‘’hey check that one out! that guys last name sounds funny”’’#nowadays it’s like#I’m genuinely interested#and it feels wrong that these massive teams only get 10 seconds of recognition before auto play takes you to the next thing :/#idk I’m being nitpicky maybe but it just doesn’t sit right with me
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I’m starting to understand why I’m hyperfixated on these ineffable husbands so much—
#pls tell me I’m not the only one that sees this#like y'all see the vision right??#ineffable husbands#good omens#sonic the hedgehog#sonic x shadow generations#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#azirowley#azirafell#aziraphel#crowley#sonic prime#Sonic x shadow#aziracrow#sth#sonic#shadow
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this has probably been done before but idc I love hot beverage. also I imagine I will be in the minority as far as this poll goes. feel free to elaborate as to what specific variety of drink is ur personal favorite bc there’s no way I’m listing every kind of tea and coffee
#personally I think cocoa is probably my favorite?#it goes between hot cocoa and cider (bc those are the only two hot beverages I drink lmao) but I’m really in my cocoa era en#no idea why I just have a sudden obsession. had some rlly good cocoa at a local diner and now it’s gripped my psyche#anyways. more rights and recognition for people who don’t like tea or coffee#I’m sorry I wanna like it so bad and hopefully I will like them one day#but right now?? still certified Yucky™️#I have the taste buds of a small child#sunny polls
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hey man you can totally sit down and enjoy this piece of media i enjoy with me. hey what do you mean you are misinterpreting my favourite characters motivations and you are analysing them completely wrong. what is wrong with you
#i get so irrationally angry if someone interprets one of my favourite characters just completely wrong#what do you mean you think princess bubblegum was the villain all along#how can you say you think mae from nitw didn’t deserve a good ending#like no that’s MY baby you’re talking about#only I CAN CRITICSE THEM#you have NO right#okay i’m done
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Seems like Yoshiki’s eyes are starting to lose shape whenever he’s stressed out, starting with his left pupil getting more jagged when he’s putting back ‘Hikaru’s head in ch22, and then in ch24, his left iris moves to the side.
#I did think the right could’ve been an eye shine or whatever#But applying parsimony to this#I can only find one example of Yoshiki having an eye shine (ch13 when he’s talking to Mikasa about kaourus yukata)#So it would be very atypical for him to be draw with one#However him becoming more and more inhuman is an important plot point#So it would be less to presumptuous to think these are connected scenes of Yoshiki becoming more like ‘hikaru’ in regard#Of having his left eye shift when he grows upset#Than moku was feeling a little silly today and gave him an eye shine#the summer hikaru died#hgsn#hikaru ga shinda natsu#hgsn spoilers#my hgsn shit#HGSN eyes#Once again having a ‘who’s glasses are these in ch10’ moment#Wherein I’m scouring pages looking for times Yoshiki has an eye shine#In order to dispel the strawman I put up myself#If you have any more examples of eye shine Yoshiki or Yoshiki w/ messed up eyes#Feel free to add to this post w/ them
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free my complex female character, she did the same thing as complex male characters but the fandom takes Any analysis of her actions/choices/motivations that doesn’t strip her of all of her agency in bad faith and claims that only misogynists would dare to critique the things that they’ve noticed in her character because she’s a woman, completely ignoring the over-presence of discourse about similarly traited male characters in their fandom.
#exhausted by people categorizing CRITIQUE. not even genuine hate just literally basic analysis of imogen’s character#as a) hate at all but b) misogynistic simply because… they assume the person like caleb and percy uncritically like#i love imogen and i love her because she’s riddled with complexity that gives reason for her to be unlikeable#the shit ashton says makes me want to tear out my hair and i could write analysis on why but they’re still one of my favourite characters#i enjoy caleb but watching him infuriated me because of his self interest which is a coherent trait of his but is a tiring one#similarly with percy of love his pretentious Smartest In The Room shit but sometimes it meant he treated others more poorly than necessary#but i’m not unpacking all of that just so i have some fandom mandated right to say that i think there’s an aspect of a female character#that is imperfect in the human sense#because like. i will continue to call imogen’s self interested until the world burns and the moon shatters. because she is.#the only reason her choice to do good is compelling at all is because the choice to do otherwise is so tangible#it isn’t a Mistake or Fault that she’s self interested. it’s by design#like. she reaches towards the storm in curiosity in her sleep. but then she fights back when she’s awake#that’s it#that’s the dynamic. that’s what’s compelling#but no ur right fandom. let’s instead all agree that imogen is actually just intrinsically good#and take away all agency and complexity and humanity from her#and instead slap a sticker of Morally Good and enjoy the caricature of her where she’s made to fit into the imagine of#the latest aesthetic ad for diarrhoea medication#imogen temult#critical role#inspired as always by dumbass twitter posts that i’m subjected to because of school n work#the worst part is i do like the laudna n imogen dynamic in the stagnancy where it is but so much of that fandom is so clear in their erosion#of both characters actuality to suit the picture of Ship Tropes#like fuckin. so much of imogen’s fanart in imodna making her fat which as a fat person great love to see it#not so much when it’s clearly to make her short n stout against laundas tall n lanky.#anyway
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People who reblog my stuff with stuff like ‘I HATE this ship usually it SUCKS worst thing EVER I might VOMIT seeing it on my timeline in fact this is the worst ship in the world and to see it makes my eyes burn and my soul ablaze in the most painful and truculent way possible and I’ll DIE before I enjoy it without this specified caveat of telling everyone I actually HATE it. But I guess this is pretty cute’ are you ok
#nc111 talks#like. ok.#my art isn’t for you#why do you insist on specifying that you hate it#you… you know you don’t have to reblog this drawing right#you can like it and move on#like no one has to be privy to your interests#while I appreciate the sentiment it’s not the compliment you think it is#I’ve also gotten ‘I usually hate this ship but this characterisation is canon so I like it’#I’m making them kiss and hold each others waists and dry hump each other my characterisation is as delusional and fanon as any#like of course I care about accurate characterisation for my own works#but my characterisation can only ever be one interpretation of the ship. until oda writes them Fuckin and suckin we don’t know what canon#characterisation is#anyway….
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do you think shauna learned that cells turn over completely in seven years thing in high school biology and latched onto it and had an existential crisis meltdown of nuclear proportions when it was coming up on seven years since she’d consumed jackie because none of the cells in her body were born out of the energy she got from jackie’s flesh anymore?
#or am I the only one who thinks like this l o l#I WISH this was shitposting#I’m so serious tho lmao like#I think shauna would think about this#I think she’d study it. like she’d say okay that’s just an untrue fun fact right#but then like once you get down to the detail and the complexity she wouldn’t know if she was MORE jackie or LESS jackie#she’s sitting in the LITERAL CLOSET that she loves to sit in for environmental storytelling purposes crying about cell turnover#jeff comes home and she’s holding a medical journal in shaking hands asking about heart cells#through sobs she asks if only 40% of your heart renews in a lifetime was any of that at the RIGHT time#jeff says what…what Right time you’re scaring me a little#shauna rolls her eyes and kicks him out of his own bedroom so she can cry under better conditions (without him)#she calls taissa for the first time in two years but she of course can’t bring herself to ask so it’s just an awkward call all around#this is both funny to me and breaking my heart like I’m so emotionally dysregulated about this I’m not sure if I’m kidding or serious!!#much like yellowjackets showtime!!!#yellowjackets#shauna shipman#jackie taylor#jackie x shauna#taissa turner#shauna x jackie
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OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.
#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter.#he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point.#and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!!#hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do!#the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into-#one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT.#but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb.#I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time.#and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances.#and doesn’t want to hear any excuse.#but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment.#NOW. CHAPTER 17.#UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN#Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC.#IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!!#BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’#WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM.#(NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.)#and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through.#despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up.#like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him.#that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying.#just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner.#IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD.#and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore.#he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had.#and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT.#<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but.#eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind.#I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags
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