#those who read chapter 65 knows what i mean
Note
moonlit goddess.... maybe jinshi is wondering why his dear maid continues to pull away from him... and maybe gao shun lets it slip that "they shouldn't have been close that day anyway".... and jinshi pesters him until he folds n explains.... IDK I JUST WANT A HAPPY ENDING FOR THOSE TWO :((((( (not forced ofc!! i jus love ur writing!)
Bridge the Gap.
✩࿐ summary: life and death really makes a girl wonder.
warning(s): idiots in love, chapters 61-65 manga spoilers, master/servant like relationship, description of near drowning, suggestive content, ambiguous ending. wc; 9.3k
pairing(s): jinshi/fem!reader.
a/n: tysm for reading my fics means the world to hear ppl actually enjoy them, anon!!! ;') i wasn't really going to make a 2nd part of moonlight goddess as i thought it was okay to leave off there, but i love jinshi sooo i'll take any excuse to write him.
this was initially going to be a part 2 of clumsiness, but i figured my plans worked better with what you were envisioning! im not entirely sure how to feel about this, but i hope this lives up to the standards!
i apologize for any mistakes, this was written mostly in the early mornings when i had time!
part i. m.list
"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"
"Y/N, please, stop asking me that."
"Oh, yes. My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry."
This were, admittedly, not going well. Both of you soaked, hair dripping, and standing in the cave behind a rapid waterfall, and a dull ache in your chest as you recovered. Partly your fault, partly the fault of some crazed marksman that was hiding in the forest, trying to slaughter Jinshi and, by proxy, you.
To understand how you two ended up in this situation, we would have to back up a bit.
"Oh? Y/N, I didn't know you'd be attending this as well?"
"It was a last minute switch with Suiren and I."
"You... enjoy these hunts?"
"I've done everything I could to avoid them in the years past."
Your lack of excitement was apparent and clear. It appeared to bring no ease of mind to Maomao who dragged her rather disgusted eyes from you towards Gaoshun. The older man just kept his attention on the moving scenery outside, a distant glaze over his eyes.
Maomao obviously wasn't optimistic. Just like you. You were almost proud that she had caught on so easily.
The sweltering heat outside seemed to seep into the carriage, cooking you alive in your rather formal wear. Something that you were spotted in far and few, having been years that you truly cleaned yourself prim and proper. You had been on the edge of declining even going when Jinshi, with a grin and a certain glitter in his eyes, had too happily informed you that it was a direct invitation from Shishou.
Your fate had been sealed.
Maomao peeked at you from the corner of her eye, head tilted, "Do you mind me asking why you avoided these events?"
You don't even spare her a glance, "I fear if I spoke my honest opinion, I'd stain Jinshi-sama's reputable name with my foul mouth." You reply flatly in return.
"Please don't." Gaoshun said softly from his seat, looking particularly tired.
You decided to ignore the slump of Maomao's shoulders as if disappointed by the swift interruption and decline on Gaoshun's part. Turning your eyes towards the shifting world outside.
It'd been exactly five months since Jinshi had danced under the moon and you came to the conclusion that any impure thoughts you held for your master would be safely tucked away in the back of your mind (and heart). Forever your secret. Only to be heard in your dreams and upon your death, when you repent for any ill thoughts to the Great Man above.
Everything had returned to its normal routine. You would get up in the morning, prepare breakfast alongside Suiren, eat, then proceed with any chores the woman gave you for the rest of the day, then repeat. Equally, your relationship (or lack thereof) with Jinshi had remained the same. Conversations filled with pleasantries. Simple things that had always lingered between the two of you since you were children. Pleasant and simple. As the world shall ever be.
It got a bit ruffled with Jinshi had cornered you and practically ordered that you come to the hunt instead of Suiren.
In the middle of scrubbing away at the floors, he had found you. Stood above you with that grin, “Y/N, you’re one of my most loyal servants, hm?” He’d begun with an inflection in his tone that made you horribly hesitant.
You had faltered in your scrubbing to stare up at him with confusion, “Uh…well, I suppose, Jinshi-sam’s.”
“Why don’t you join me for the Hunt this up coming week?”
Your had heart dropped. And, by the look Gaoshun had dawned, his had too. The Hunt, in your humble opinion, was a glorified weekend for the men in high positions to rub one off while killing animals. It wasn’t something you found interesting in or much grace. That’s why you had declined Suiren’s question on whether or not you’d like to take her place only three days prior. You had no interest in watching anyone, even Jinshi, size each other up while a defenseless animal bled.
“Jinshi-sama, I believe Suiren—“
Ever the gentleman, he had cut you off, “No worries, Suiren agreed to take over matters while you’re gone! She’s the sweetest, right?” He had appeared all to eager and all too himself for you to ignore.
So, with a heavy heart, you’d sighed, accepting defeat and his invitation.
Now, you would find your torture for a multiple day retreat with a bunch of men with their c—
The carriage came to an abrupt halt, bringing an unruly end to your thoughts as you all carefully exited and were greeted by the sunshine. The humid air heavy with the condensation of the area and already making a sweat appear on your brow. But, ever the lady, you pleasantly tuck your hands into your sleeves and follow behind Gaoshun and Basen.
You were a little surprised as Maomao stuck closely to your side; but not all too surprised to find her attention on your surroundings, vague surprise in her eyes. The area was as equally as beautiful as it was a burden to you.
The buildings weren't anything for you to revel at. Spending an entire lifetime within palaces and in buildings as equally or above standard to those, it just wasn't anything special. The nature surrounding the area, however, was something to stare in awe at. Lucious trees, beautiful grass, and beautiful array of plants and flowers. It almost made you regret all the time you had spent away from this place.
But it wasn't like you had the chance to truly return since the last time you were here. Nothing could bring back that little girl.
You deterred your thoughts away as Gaoshun slid the door open. Immediately, you were hit with a wave of heat that you made you tense up. It was apparent that you wouldn't find your much needed cool down you were desperate to find since you were confined in the carriage days prior.
You were the last to enter and when you did, you faltered at the sight before you.
Jinshi was sprawled across the couch, wisps of his dark hair framed his sweat glistened face, eyes closed in contempt. A small dent appeared between his eyebrows and a frown adorned his face. However, your attention was caught on a drop of sweat that made its way from his hairline, down his cheek, his jaw, his long slender neck, and past his— his collar.
His modesty was of no worry, apparently, as he laid with his robes parted open to reveal his chest. Itself was glistening with sweat. Delicate skin on showcase for all to see. It brought a soft blush to your cheeks, as you blatantly ogled him. Pressing your lips together to contain whatever thoughts you had about him from burst from your seams.
"Y/N," Jinshi's voice hit your ears, tender and smooth. You're suddenly hyperaware that he's staring at you with raised brows, lids peeked open to stare at you.
You straighten your back and offer a bow, "Jinshi-sama. Do you require anything?" You had to get it together. It was inappropriate to behave in such a scandalous way. "Request for ice? Tea?"
Jinshi shook his head, sitting up, "No, rather I'd like for you to rest after such a long journey."
You falter, your arms wavering from their position in front of your face, "Uh.... Wouldn't the room be more tolerable with some ice?" You spare a glance around the room and grimace. The windows are shut tight, only bits of sun peeking through the cracks. Basen looks rather miserable, but trying to appear his usual stern self. While Gaoshun and Maomao seem rather okay with showcasing their small discontent with the heat. A nice cube would help at least cool down a bit.
You also couldn't stand another second seeing Jinshi like that. As if he were some type of nymph testing your faith.
"Really, it's fine—" Jinshi attempted, but you were already turning on your heel.
"I will return with ice." You didn't miss the way Jinshi's face fell and his eyes cut to Gaoshun who shook his head in return.
Your fast paced adventure led you to the main hall, where people were moving in and out. Various officers and servants filled the area, finding their rooms or helping their masters and fellow officers to their own rooms. Everyone appeared to be feeling the heat as they wiped their brows. Much like you, they appeared to be attempting to defeat the heat.
You found your way towards an attendant who helped you get something situated for Kousen. Something that brought you both distaste and irritation. Something to be addressed at a later time.
Joy filled you as you turned around, ice would soon be in the room and you could crowd around it like it was a new lover.
As you were about to make your way back to the room, you ran into someone.
You were about to apologize when they whirled around and you let out an audibly sigh that conveyed your unwavering exhaustion for them.
"Hey, watch where— Oh, hey, " Lihaku blinked, kind face twisted up in vague recognition. “You’re that lady-in-waiting. What are you doing out here?”
“I’m on loan from Jinshi-sama,” you answered rather flatly, not missing the small frown accompanying the man’s face.
You were vaguely familiar with Lihaku. What with Maomao getting involved in the problems within the inner and rear palace, you were bound to make new acquaintances when she was dragging you around. Lihaku was the first one you had ran into. On orders to accompany the girl from Suiren, you had gotten to see her investigative skills firsthand. You were impressed, surely, when she had made the discovery about the potatoes. But the impression was overshadowed by Lihaku, who had spent the entire time chatting your ear off.
He was kind, handsome, and smart when it called for it. But you could tell that, like most officers, he had an airheaded vibe to him. One that deterred you from making things too complicated with him.
Friendly enough, and one of the few people that didn't seem to disinterest Maomao, you accepted his very vague and shadowed feature in your life.
"Well, that's nice of him." He said, clearly disinterested in where this conversation was going. "I'm glad to see a friendly face, though."
You offered a small smile, "As am I. Not many kind faces around here often."
"You can say that again." You hear a loud inhuman snort and a tug on your gown, taking a large step back, you look down. A large dog with drool leaking out from the sides of its mouth stared back at you. "Oh, hey, boy, no!"
"O-Oh my." You uttered, slightly breathless as you looked at the large beast.
Lihaku glanced at you, offering a withering smile, "Eh, sorry, he gets excited around new people— not a great trait in a dog like this, you would think, but he's a real gem. Just has his moments. Hey, now—"
Lihaku pulled out something metal and brought it to his lips, then blew. It emitted little to no sound, at least, any you could truly hear, making your perk up when the dog tilted his head and sat respectfully before the officer. He blew again and the dog laid. Again, and the dog stood on all fours.
You smiled softly, watching in wonder as it obeyed whatever silent orders it was getting from Lihaku.
"He's very smart." You observed as the dog sat down again.
"Right?" Lihaku beamed, "I can get him to come running from kilometers away if need be."
"Useful when you're in a bind."
"For sure!" Lihaku's demeanor reminded you of a proud father as he puffed his chest and looked distastefully towards the cages lined up outside. "He's real smart, yet they still want to use those birds in the end."
You didn't want to point out the various problems that could come with using a dog; as there were probably another list of various pros to actually use the dog. The hawks had been used for years and you doubt that some dogs would be taking their place any time soon. It'd probably be a long time before these arrogant men came to their senses and found better means. Despite dogs being loyal and determined to their cause, the hawk would always be chosen.
Or, the better alternative, they didn't do this hunt anymore.
But you knew that was a longshot.
It wasn't long after that you bid Lihaku a farewell and good luck on his duties, making your way back to the room. You exchanged pleasant smiles and greetings with familiar faces, but nothing that kept you from relaxing much longer.
When you returned to the room, everyone had found their own areas and activities to occupy themselves. Gaoshun and Basen were playing Go near the windows, Maomao was reclining on the floor where a sliver or air was flowing through (from where, you weren't completely sure). Jinshi was back to sitting on the couch, a book in his hands. Something that was quickly disregarded as you gently closed the door behind you.
"The ice should be up soon." You informed the room with a respectful bow.
Jinshi didn't look at all interested, "What took you so long?" It sounded like contempt. Irritation if you had to really dig. Something that made you falter.
You look up and see the pout on his lips— childish, as always. "Oh, I'm sorry, Jinshi-sama. I happened to run into a friend and got caught up in conversation." You apologized softly. The last thing you wanted to do was bring him more annoyance and disturbance.
He straightened considerably, "A friend?"
You didn't like the way it was spoken. A touch of disbelief was enough for you to eye him with your own distaste. Even if you and Lihaku were nothing more than strangers with vague familiarity with one another.
"Yes, a friend." You confirmed with thin lips. Despite your inner voice telling you to reign in your attitude, you upturn your nose and decide to join Maomao— whose eyes were shooting between the both of you with trepidation and vague sympathy. "He was being kind."
Jinshi huffed, "I didn't know you had any secret friends."
"Not a secret. Just don't find any time to speak about it with you, Jinshi-sama."
That made the man falter, a darkened shadow over his face. "I suppose." He frowned heavily now, squinting at you with something unreadable. "Who is this friend of yours?"
You, finding no reason to lie, continued on, "Officer Lihaku."
In an instant, three heads snapped to you with varying degrees of emotions. Maomao looked shocked, but welcomed the information with a shrug. Gaoshun looked pale and overwrought, for whatever reason you weren't entirely sure, but you had an itching feeling it had to do with Jinshi.
The same Jinshi that was now face down on the couch, letting out a miserable sound. Speaking into the fabric of it all, unintelligiable. But you swore you heard something along the lines of— "that second rate, again?!" As he continued to rant and cry.
With that, you decided it best to not involve yourself with whatever Jinshi was battling. You wouldn't win anyway.
You'd always hated Kousen-sama.
He almost always seemed to loom in the shadows. An masked man who held no personality or words of his own. Pleasantries offered out of necessity and not because that was simply the right thing to do. He was mysterious. He hardly appeared, but he was always there. A reminder for what things would return to one odd day. A symbol for exactly where your loyalties and master lied.
Kousen-sama was to always appear before others with his mask on. To avoid them seeing the ghastly sight of scars and blemishes that adorned his skin because of his sickness (whatever that may be) and spare him the indecency of stares. He was unmoving. Stone amongst he lively environment that ate away at their lunches and softly conversed with one another.
Prince. The respectable Kousen-sama. The great son of the empire. The brave prince against all odds.
Oh, how much you hate Kousen-sama.
But you still had woken up early to help him pin his hair back. To slip his robes on. To delicately place the mask on, fingering the bangs out through the slits to allow some type of familiarity. You were his confidant. His reliable and kind servant.
As always, you and Basen stood behind Kousen-sama with your backs straight and eyes ahead. A pleasant servant on loan and stern guard, you both were familiar faces against the unrecognizable figure in front of you. It reminded the people exactly who was before them. Exactly who had decided to grace their presence.
Still, it brought you discomfort.
You still eyed Gaoshun in the corner of you eye. The older man sat at the other end of the table. Maomao standing behind him with a distant look in her eyes, obviously not paying attention to the things happening around her. Not entirely surprising, but you felt the overwhelming urge to scold her for her lack in etiquette.
Oh, you're starting to think like Suiren, aren't you?
Suddenly, Basen is tensing up beside you and Kousen-sama is turning his head away from a scowling Shishou. Your eyes snap between the two with a scowl of your own. Whatever that man had said—
Kousen-sama's hand clenches. So tightly that his knuckles turn white and he shakes. You know something isn't right. You had missed something. Something so obvious and you were too concerned about Gaoshun.
The man stands from his chair, the legs loudly clattering against the tiled and stone floor. You watch uneasily as Kousen-sama raises, takes a moment to collect himself, then practically speeds away from the room. You don't waste a moment to bring your sleeve covered hands to your mouth and make your own exit.
As you pass a concerned Maomao and Gaoshun, you hear a barely uttered whisper from the girl— heat. Food.
You try to hide your confusion and worry as you follow behind your master.
It doesn't take you long to find him.
Down the path, up against a tree, the masked figure was hunched and obviously breathing heavily. You draw closer, outstretching a hand to gently press it against the large expanse of his back.
"Kousen-sama, are you quite alright?" You ask softly, hunching slightly to capture a glimpse of his eyes from that slit in the fabric.
When you do, you're almost breathless. His violet eyes are alight with something distant and scornful. Eyebrows furrowed as he meets your own gaze.
"Y/N...?" He sounded vaguely surprised under it all, breathless himself. As if he couldn't quite believe that you were here in front of him.
You nod once, reaching out and grabbing ahold of one of the ties keeping the mask all together. "I'm going to remove this. No one is around."
His hand is suddenly wrapped around your wrist. Not tight or unrelenting, but enough to make you freeze. Warm and clammy skin against your own to make you feel scorched. You don't need to see his entire face to know that his jaw was clenched now.
"I can't," he said in all his self-assuredness, "Someone might still come."
What a pain. You thought to yourself as you draw in a heavy breath.
You don't waste a second to slip under his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders and allowing him to lean most of his weight against you. "No worries, sir, I'll just find us some place where no one else is around."
You gently guide Kousen-sama from the line of trees and deep within it. Finding an oddly familiar path created within your mind to follow that takes you towards an overflowing waterfall. A loud crash of water hitting the rocks and body of water below that brought you a distant sense of comfort. The refreshing smell of the water hits your nostrils and you take a deep breath.
With Kousen-sama against you, you felt the sweltering heat hit you tenfold. But the mist from the waterfall brushed against your skin like a gently caress from an old lover.
This is it.
You stumble over to one of the few trees next to the waterfall and gently guide Kousen-sama to sit up against it. The man took a heavy breath and you finally felt a little at ease. Reaching forward, you moved to take the cloth off once again and then—
A loud thud and chunks of dirt hit your cheek.
You frowned, looking to the ground only a could feet away and saw a small crater. A sharp smell filled your senses and you stiffened. It was an unkind and almost putrid scent. The smoke from the small crater was the main cause.
"Eh—?"
You were suddenly cut off as Kousen-sama wrapped his arms around you, jerking you upwards and away from the tree. You would've basked in the way his body was pressed against your back or the way his fingers seemed to mold into your abdomen— you would've if it weren't for the loud crack in the air then the pieces of bark that flew through the air around you.
The tree that he had been pressed up against only moments ago was now split open with a piece of metal imbedded into the wood. It looked eerily similar to the same that had been in the ground moments ago.
"Is that a feifa?!" His voice pierced through your thoughts, oddly frantic and uneasy as he moved quickly from the tree and towards the river.
You glanced up at him and found him already staring down at you. Eyes narrowed and, if it weren't for the mask, his entire face would be scrunched up in that familiar distaste and panic. Yet he seemed eerily calm as he dragged you through the trees and into the water.
"Sorry, but this is gonna get a bit dramatic." His voice was soft against your head, warm breath caressing your hair as he wraps a protective arm around your head.
Your eyebrows raise, "Dramatic— WHAT?" You should've known his tone and choice of his words were a warning for what was to come, but you were still caught off guard.
He gave no indication that he was going to jump off the cliff.
"Jinshi, you goddamn idiot!"
You mustn't get ideas above your station.
The water was oddly clear. Even with the mix of the overflowing waterfall, under it all was peaceful and calm. Fishes and water like insects lived in harmony.
Cool and calm. Always.
You are there to serve your master.
The little boy's head burst from the water with a big grin, short hair flat against his head and dripping. The sun reflecting off his violet eyes and almost blinded the little girl curled up on the side shore. Her face set into a scowl, clothes drenched, and a looming unimpressed older man behind her.
"It's so nice out, why don't you come in!" Beckoned the boy from the water.
The little girl shot him a nasty look, "You know why, you jerk!"
The boy's grin faltered, tilting his head at his friend, "Eh? Why are you being mean?" His voice wavered on the ends, still just floating in the middle of the basin.
"I'm not mean! You're mean! You're the biggest meanie!" The little girl stood up to throw an accusatory finger at the boy, her sleeve heavy and uncomfortable as she moved.
The boy's face reddened, eyebrows scrunched together, "I'm not mean! You're mean!" He repeated.
"No, you are! You're the biggest meanie in the whole wide world!"
"No, you are!"
"You are! You pushed me into the water!"
"You are! You should swim!"
"I hope you drown, meanie!"
The boy's expression fell completely. A heartbroken glint in his eyes flooding them. His lips trembled. But, before he could do something like cry, he was already swimming deeper
Nothing less, nothing more.
"Now, now," a large hand rested on the little girl's shoulder and gently tugged her back, turning her around to face the man. He seemed to be trying to appear as tender as he could to try calm down the girl's high nerves. "No need to get angry."
"But, Gaoshun—" The little girl whined.
Gaoshun shook his head, patting her shoulder, "No, we don't argue. Try to forgive and forget, yeah?" He reminded the lessons that he'd attempted multiple times to teach the two children. "No reason to walk around with resentment for others, right?"
The little girl scoffed her shoe against the ground, a pout on her lips, "Do I have to, Gaoshun?" She knew what this would call for. Exactly how this would end for her.
The man heaved a sigh, nodding, "Yes, you do. Now, go reconcile. I'll wait here."
The girl faltered as the man raised to his full height, cupping his hands behind his back. She dragged her feet through the soft soil and found her way towards the boy once more. He was grasping onto the edge of the bank, sniffling and snorting. His shoulders shook and his face was stuffed into his arms.
The little girl frowned. "Um... Are you okay?"
The boy stiffened, not turning around as he answered, "No."
"I'm sorry, I said something real mean." The little girl uttered, stepping closer as she clutched her wet clothes. "I just... You pushed me into the water, I can't..."
"I thought you were my friend!" The little boy whirled around on her, face red and eyes filled with big tears. He looked enraged but incredibly disheartened. The girl blinks in return as the boy glares. "You say such mean things to me. Friends aren't supposed to be mean!"
The girl clenched her jaw, "You were mean to me first!" She accused.
The boy sniffled, wiping under his nose with his forearm. "You're my friend." He repeated as if that cleared up any anger.
Nothing more, nothing less.
The little girl slowly sat beside him, her feet dipping under the water. "It is nice." She whispered.
The little boy dragged his eyes upwards, looking hurt but hopeful. "Right?" he asked, equally as quiet.
"You're my friend too, Jinshi." The little girl nudge him with her leg.
Jinshi's eyes twinkled, wide and all too bright, "Really?"
"Really." The little girl confirmed with a toothless grin. "My friend forever and ever!"
Jinshi positively beamed, the water sloshing as he jumped happily. "Forever and ever, and ever!"
"And ever!"
"It's no longer... appropriate for you and Jinshi-sama to be friends."
"I don't... I don't understand. He's my friend."
"His mother no longer finds it appropriate for you to concern yourself with Jinshi."
"But, Gaoshun—"
"No, Y/N. It's over. Come along. Suiren has a present for you."
"He's.... He's my friend...."
"I'm so sorry."
You are to give your life to your master.
The woman paused, back pin straight, as she entered her master's office, finding him curled up in the corner, muttering nonsensically to himself. The guard of said master was watching on with a pitiful expression of his own, only breaking his eyes away when the woman entered the room. His expression only seemed to deepen.
She didn't need to ask. There was an unspoken understanding as to what their master's breakdown was regarding. The Apothecary. The one that had gotten the attention of everyone in the palace as of late. The one that had been causing her great grief as of late— and was about to create more.
"Jinshi-sama?" The woman called softly, stepping closer.
Jinshi's lifeless eyes continued to stare at the floor below him. A gentle rocking seeming to soothe himself from the rages of his mind. "I don't need anything, Y/N. Thank you, kindly." He uttered just as lifelessly.
The devoted servant's chest clenched. Her face flushed as she reached out a wavering hand. To place it delicately against his hunched back. To offer her best comforting words that she could. To distract him away from her.
Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.
She faltered. This wasn't her place. This wasn't a part of her duties unless Jinshi said so. Inappropriate behavior wasn't called for. It will be punished severly.
Retracting her hand, she stands, and offers a respectful bow. "Please call me if you need anything, Jinshi-sama." And left him in his dark corner.
"Gaoshun, may I ask you something?"
"Of course, Jinshi-sama."
"You have been in my life for as long as I can remember. You remember more than I possibly could about my younger years. Whatever happened to cause me and Y/N to fall apart?"
"...."
"It had to be around the time I was eight that I noticed we were growing apart. Even now, I see it so clearly."
"It's been a long time, Jinshi-sama. You're no longer children."
"All the more reason to know, isn't it?"
"I don't know...."
"Gaoshun, nothing will come of it. I'm simply curious."
"..."
"I'm sorry to put you in this position. Please return to what you were doing."
"Jinshi-sama.... you might not like the truth..."
"I usually don't."
"Where to begin.... Before her eighth birthday—"
.....................................................................................................................
...........................................
.............................................
.............
......................
"H....E—"
Everything felt so muffled. Faraway. Featherlight.
Was that a pressure against your chest? A thump that came into quick successions, then stopped. For something soft and ever so delicate to press against your lips?
Everything was distant. So far away from your grasp. From your state of being. As if you were already long gone from whatever reality you were in moments ago.
"H—"
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
It was almost like floating. A gentle sway and a crack.
A joyful gliding against the sky that soothed you away from worries and woes.
Thump. Thump. Lips.
Repeating endlessly. Happily. Wetly?
Thump. Thump. Lips.
You welcomed it. Whatever it was. Whatever kept the rhythm. The wonderful rhythm.
Thump. Thump. Lips.
...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Thump. Thump. Lips.
................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Thump. Thump. Lips.
...........................................
Thump. Thump. Lips.
.............................................
Thump. Thump. Lips.
.............
Thump. Thump. Lips.
......................
THUMP. THUM—
You shot up with a cough.
Your throat burned and head ached terribly. Your eyes almost felt like they were about to pop out of your head and roll away. You felt horrible.
It didn't help that you were drenched from head to toe either.
Beside you, there was a heavy and loud sigh of relief as he fell to his backside. He let a silence fall over you both as you recovered, hand pressed against your throat and heaving.
Jesus. Had you almost...
The thought alone almost made you sick.
"I'm sorry. I thought.... I didn't think you still couldn't swim." His voice was soft, barely heard over the waterfall. Kind and cautious, worried and terrified. Things that seeped from his tone as if it were bleeding out and bearing all its insides to you.
Exposing him to you.
You peeked over your loose strands of hair to glare viciously at him. "When would I have the time to learn to swim?" You shot back ruthlessly, not entirely caring from etiquette in this moment. "You've lost your mind."
"Right." Jinshi immediately agreed, almost looking fearful as he watched you.
You push yourself up and take in a deep breath, coughing slightly at the burn of your throat. Taking in your surroundings, you swore that this was that—
"Are you really alright?"
You glanced back at the man and found him still sat on the damp ground. His eyebrows are furrowed and a small frown on his lips as he stared up at you. It made you uncomfortable. To see such a glittering violet staring back at you earnestly. Honestly.
You instead clutch onto your dress, "Suiren is gonna kill me." You scoff, tugging the garments apart.
You could hear Jinshi sputter behind you. The gravel and dirt below him crunching as he probably scrambled up from his spot.
You spared a feeble look over your shoulder to find him with his eyes clenched slowed, hand covering your body from his gaze. You snap your gaze back around and tug the fabric a little too hard as you scoff.
You wouldn't deny the pang of hurt that clenched your chest.
"Don't worry, Jinshi-sama, you won't have to see my unruly body of mine for long. I just want to make sure Suiren doesn't slaughter me when we return."
"I— No, I'm just— okay." He finally muttered.
You are stripped down to your underthings, placing the dress and various pieces on the ground as delicately as you can to avoid too much dirt being stained into the fabric.
As you place the last bit of clothing down, you hear the flutter of fabric behind you.
Jinshi is a bright red, gently tossing his robe down behind him. His back is facing you and you know its for whatever mock sense of modesty he wants to give the both of you. You instinctively reach out and take his robe in your grasp, twisting it and squeezing it to watch out a fair amount of water drip out.
"You worry about mine later. Take care of your things first."
Yeah, right, You think as you twist it with an unrelenting grip. You are there to serve your master. It's one of the first things you learn. His needs came before your own. His needs were your needs.
Jinshi snatched the robe away and squeezed the fabric tight, an overflowing amount of water released from the cloth and into the ground.
Okay, so maybe he was better at it than you.
You nod, turning your attention towards your own garments and try to ignore the overwhelming feeling that you had eyes on your rear.
"So, um—" Jinshi cleared his throat when his eyes dragged away from you, cheeks a bright red. "What now?"
"Well, we could attempt at trying to swim back—"
"You can't swim."
"I was going to say that."
"Oh, sorry."
There's a soft silence between the both of you as you finish up. Gently redressing, you make your way towards the entrance of the cave, where the waterfall is blocking it from any negative eyes. You press your lips into a thin line and regard it bitterly. You remember this waterfall.... you could recall the times you whimsical pondered what it'd be like to ride down it like in those stories.
Jinshi had promised such when you both were too young and too dumb to realize how naïve dreams like that were.
You couldn't really judge that mini-you, for you had your own dreams of—
"Remember when Gaoshun first brought us here?"
You hadn't realized that Jinshi made his way over until he was standing beside you. Robes lose over his shoulders and tugging on his top layer. Violet eyes were watching the water as if it were a canvas of memories in the long distant past. Something to be admired and viewed with daisies and smiles. Not to be addressed as anything but good or amazing. Not to see the truth of it all.
You press your lips together, drawing in a heavy breath, "I remember you pushing me in the water and Gaoshun having to pull me out."
Jinshi's face screws up slightly, a faint blush on his features as he almost looks around with shame. "Right...." He straightens, "I'm sorry."
You blink, "Huh?"
Jinshi glances at you with a small smile, "I, uh, never really apologized back then. Made you apologize like you did something wrong." He explains weakly.
You raise an amused brow, "I told you I wished you would drown."
"I kinda deserved it!" Jinshi counters, his lips cracking into a grin. That charming grin he gets that makes your heart flutter. Make you hopeful for terrible and wistful. "I'm real sorry."
You smile softly, eyes kind and soft as you regard him, "I forgave you a long time, Jinshi-sama."
Jinshi's expression faltered, "Don't call me...." He trailed off awkwardly, turning his attention back to the unrelenting waterfall. You watched him for that moment. That split second where it looked like he was actually going to say something that would make you lightheaded. His jaw working and the muscle jumping as he seems to contemplate his next words.
Say anything and I'll cling to it, You think, watching his lips part, I always have. I always will.
"I'm surprised you were the one that followed me out. I thought the Apothecary might've done it."
You tense. That was certainly not what you expected him to say. Of all the things he could say? The Apothecary.
The waterfall in front of you is suddenly much too loud and violent. The cave seems to darken and your eyes drag from Jinshi to stare at your bare feet. Of course. Of course. Why wouldn't he want Maomao? Why had you even came here? Who were you to get between whatever silent signal he was trying to send to the other girl.
Him and Maomao. It was nicer than him and you. Jinshi and Y/n.
You straighten, pushing down any ill thoughts and heavy feelings into the dark pits of your chest and mind. "I apologize for the intrusion. I thought it'd make more sense for me to accompany you, Jinshi-sama."
"Why are you apologizing....?" He trailed off and then made a noise that sounded eerily similar to that of a caught man. "No, wait, I'm really glad that you're the one who came! Like really glad!"
"You don't have to spare me, Jinshi-sama. I'm a woman now, not a little girl."
"I'm not—" He visibly slumps, closing his eyes and trying to collect whatever thoughts he has and place them appropriately. He draws in a breath and faces you, looking oddly serious compared to his usual self. "I'm not trying to spare your feelings. I was just trying to say that— Well, it's not— I want you here, Y/n."
He's sparing your feelings. He's being kind. He doesn't actually want you there. You can't be friends.
You don't spare him a response. Instead, walking further into the cave. You raise your eyebrows, looking at the gaping hole above you where light and the sounds of nature filtered in. What could possibly get you both out of there...?
Whistle. Sit.
Of course. Him.
Jinshi sighs, "I spoke to Gaoshun before we—"
You place your fingers in the corner of your mouth and blow. A loud whistle bounces off the cave walls and out of the hole. You wait and hope to hear a bark or see the familiar tall man, but there's nothing.
"What are you doing?" Jinshi asks slowly, glancing between you and the hole above.
"Hello?" You cup your hands over your mouth and shout as loudly as you can. "Is anyone out there?"
Jinshi frowns, staring at you uneasily, "Y/n, please, we don't want to attract them this direction."
In the mess of almost drowning and seeing peeps of Jinshi's bare skin, you'd almost forgotten that you both had been chased down here by some violent assassin. Rather foolish, if you were honest.
You place the tips of your fingers against your lips and try to force the blush spreading across your cheeks off. "Sorry." You offer a bow of your head, despite the position you both find yourselves in.
You receive no response which causes you to peek at him. The stare that he's leveling you with doesn't bring you any type of comfort. It usually meant he was about to say something that—
"Hop on my back and see if you can reach up there."
—you wouldn't like.
Your eyebrows shot upwards and you stared at him with wide eyes. If Suiren was here and knew what he just proposed, she'd positively lose her mind. No matter how long she had known you— she'd think it improper. He was your boss and you were his lowly servant. To be in an position above him or treating him like a mat, it was...
It was simply ridiculous.
"But—"
"If you're the one below, you'll get crushed." He jabs a thumb over his shoulder. "Do it."
And that's how you ended up here. Legs wrapped around Jinshi's shoulders and heads, hand reaching out for the dirt above. You dig your fingers in and glance down at the man below you.
"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?"
Jinshi sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that day, his hand on your thigh squeezing gently. "Y/N, please stop asking me that."
You grimace, "My apologies, Jinshi-sama. Sorry." You shakily raise from your place, ignoring the soft and deep grunt Jinshi gives as you stand on his shoulders.
You dig your nails into the damp dirt and begin to tug yourself up.
This is it. Finally, you could get into the open forest once again. You're not going to be suffocated by his presence. Everything will return back to its rightful places—
You froze when it smacked you in the forehead.
You tried to keep calm as you felt the slimy breathing thing rest on your skin. Body tensed up and eyes staring widely at the bright sky above.
"Y/N?" Jinshi softly called, noticing the way you tensed.
"F—Frog." You utter, jaw clenched tight and you felt it shift as you take a deep breath. "A frog."
Jinshi blinked, looking up at you with his own wide eyes, "Hey, don't-don't freak out! Just shake your head and it'll hop off."
You shake a little, but follow his instructions. However, you may have overestimated the shake as you lose your grip on the dirt and begin to fall back.
"Hey!"
The tumble down is short and not all that hurtful, like you had been expecting. You had closed your eyes in anticipation, fear of having to watch the ground quickly approach too much for your tiny heart. You expected to feel the damp mud to be seeping into your clothes and little bits of stone and bark digging into your skin. However—
Nothing.
There was nothing except the soft silk under your fingers. The scent that resembled a sweet fruit, one that you had smelt quite often in the mornings. In the noons, the evenings, the nights, repeat. You knew that smell and that familiar beat against your own chest.
Peeking your eyes open, you find that Jinshi is already staring back at you. The first thing you notice is that you both are extremely close to one another. His breath fans against your dewy face, making goosebumps raise off your skin and a shiver sent down your spin. Next is his tender expression, Eyes gentle and twinkling. His expression isn't filled with pain or anything that would indicate that he was uncomfortable with the very short distance between you both. The last thing you notice is the fact that your body is pressed against his.
Your complexion flushes and you blink down at him.
He's warm. Incredibly warm. A sharp contrast to his damp clothes, which are open and pooling under his shoulder blades, revealing his bare chest to you. Your breath is ripped from you as you stare at the plump skin. You've seen it a million times. Every day as you help him get ready for the day. It should be normal. Should be something that doesn't make you lightheaded.
But it does.
He's right there. Right against you. You can feel his heartbeat ramming against his chest and into yours. You can feel every small breath he takes—as if hanging onto this moment with, what? Trepidation? Unease? You weren't entirely sure but you knew that you felt light.
Was it so bad that you felt nice in this moment? That this warmth was wrong? Was it so out of your reach that you simply couldn't imagine a man wanting to embrace you in a way?
You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.
Yes. It was.
You clenched your jaw, ignoring the tender look in Jinshi's eyes as you try to bring your mind into the present.
The frog.
It wasn't anything that you wanted to touch, but Jinshi was your master. Your discomforts and fears must be pushed away for his sake and needs.
Reaching down, you feel for any signs of the frog. It wasn't large, but it wasn't entirely small either. It wouldn't be hard to find in all it's slimy and— There it is.
Your hand brushed it and you feel almost elated to find it. Your hand cupped around the bulge from Jinshi's robes. It feels much bigger than the average frog that'd been on your forehead. It was unmoving to, except for the small twitch it gives as you rest your palm down. You gripped it.
"Hng," Jinshi grunts, his eyes close. You're a little shocked as his hips shift, his hands at your hips dig into your flesh, almost too eager. You snap your eyes upward to his suddenly sweating and flushed face. "I-I'm sorry, but... but could you move your hand? It's making things, um, rather difficult."
Difficult?
You grip onto the twitching frog below you—
"U-Uh—" Jinshi moans in a deep and guttural way that would make anyone, especially you, malfunction. It doesn't help that his hands latch onto you harder, pressing you closer and releasing a stuttering breath against your ear.
Why was he squirming so much? Why was his face so red and dripping with sweat? Why was his chest heaving and his hands flexing around your skin? And why was this thing twitching and getting bigger in your hold....
Oh.
Oh.
You are to give your life to your master. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished, severely.
You felt a little sick at your intrusion. At the gall. You couldn't believe yourself. You had violated one of the single rules you were ever given. You violated Jinshi's space. His entire being. You were to be punished and hated— ousted from your position.
Disgusted with yourself, you slowly stand up. Jinshi's softly panting from his position on the ground, running a hand through his mused hair.
"S-Sorry, I haven't— I'm a bit—" Jinshi's obviously embarassed and uncomfortable. Look what you've done. You've ruined it all. "Hey, where are you going?"
Before you could think much more as his hands grip your hips once again and pull you down.
You're sat on his his lap and you could feel it.
"J-Jinshi-sama, I'm so-I'm so sorry!" You tucked your head down, shaking with trembling lips.
Jinshi's hands fall to your thighs, limp, "Eh...?"
"What I did was truly inappropriate and-and I will take any and all punishment!"
"Punishment...?" He sounded terribly confused, still a bit breathless. You keep your head ducked and he remains unmoved. "Why would I... you're not getting punished."
"I give my life to you. Any inappropriate behavior will be punished." You repeated softly under your breath, tucking your hands against your face to hide away from his gaze. From the judgement and hatred. "It's only just."
There's a longstanding silence between the both of you and you're hopeful that he's coming to his senses. That you'd be released and freed. That you would finally accept the gap and space between them. To fall away, finally, to the shadows.
It was tarnished the moment Jinshi wraps your hands around your own, gently prying your hands away from your face.
He doesn't look vengeful or angered. No. No, he looks kind. As he always has been. Kind and considerate. Honest and open. He'd always been so...
He'd never really been angry with you. Not without sadness being overbearing. Always so quick to forgive you. To push everything away with a smile and crinkle of his eyes.
"Y/N..." His words are as soft as his expression.
Your hands shake, "Please... Please hate me." You pleaded quietly, pressing your forehead against his hands as if he were a monk to be begged to.
"I'm not going to punish you or... or anything of the sort. Why would you want that?"
You draw in a watery breath, shoulders shaking, "It's easier to let go that way." You admitted.
"Let go of what?"
"Of my love for you."
"What?!"
His shout echoed off the cave walls. Your humiliation and embarrassment was quick to follow once it bounced back at you. Made you flinch back and try to push yourself back from his lap. Why did you say anything? Fool. Disgusting fool.
"Hey, hey, hey," Jinshi's hands wrap around your wrists and tug you forward a bit. You refuse to meet his eye. You refuse to be humiliated and demeaned— "Don't do that. Don't close off."
You clench your jaw and try to push the humilation deep within you, taking a deep calming breath as you stared at his bare collar. "You're so kind and so... you. I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable or disgusted, but I need to tell you. And then I would hope that you would let me go."
Jinshi's eyebrows shot up. "Let you go?"
You've been thinking about this for some time. That it all would be better if, in the end, you were to serve someone else. That you were pawned off for some soldier instead of this slow torture. This uncomfortable, unbearable tiptoeing.
"I would like for you to offer me to a soldier or anywhere else."
The reaction is instant. The way Jinshi's complexion darkens and he stares at you with wide eyes. He slumps into the damp ground and almost turns into putty. His hold on you slackens and gives you ample opportunity to move away. But you're frozen in your spot.
"Why would I do that?" Jinshi's voice is quiet, slow, "You're... You're mine."
A blush takes over your cheeks, "Jinshi-sama, It's not appropriate! I shouldn't be like this with you."
"What if I like it?"
You blink at him. "Huh?"
Jinshi leans forward, his thumb gently skirting against your skin. "What if I have some love for you too? What if I don't care about what's appropriate or follows the rules."
I would ask who you are. You were tempted to say but your mouth was clamped shut in shock. Following the rules had been completely him. He was put in his current position now to ensure the rules in the rear palace were being followed diligently. The thought that he would love someone like you when there were people like Maomao or princesses out there. People much more deserving of his devotion. It wasn't right.
As if sensing you're not believing him, he pulls away and presses his lips thin. "Okay, I'll convince you." He straightens up and takes a breath. "I spoke to Gaoshun not too long ago. Before we came here and I know everything now."
A pause. Everything. He knew everything now? Everything is so much. Everything is... well, everything. What exactly had Gaoshun told him?
"What's everything?"
"That my mother didn't want you around anymore. That Gaoshun told you that you weren't allowed around me anymore. That you stopped being my friend and became my employee."
Your stare up at Jinshi with wide eyes. "That's not...Us being friends wasn't right anymore."
Jinshi frowned, shaking his head and his hands slide up to your arms. "If I had my way, I would've had you by my side all that time. Not as some lady-in-waiting, but as my equal."
You shake your head, ignoring the erratic beating of your heart against your chest. "Don't say that. Don't say things you don't mean, Jinshi." You beg softly.
Jinshi reaches out, wrapping his hands around your own, pressing it against his chest. "I mean it with everything in me. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have ever been separated from you. Forget what my mother said." His words were sweet, tempting. They made you lightheaded. So did the sudden brightness and tender smile on his face. "That's the first time you've called me Jinshi since we were kids."
"What? I've always called you Jinshi."
"No, you've always called me Jinshi-sama."
"Oh."
You suppose you had.
"Jinshi," You utter, unsure of what else you both could say.
Jinshi's expression, if possible, softens further, leaning forward an inch. "Yes?" He whispers back just as softly.
Your eyes trail between his eyes before moving to his lips, parted and glistening, "Jinshi..."
Jinshi's hand slides up your thigh and his lips are ghosting against yours, "I'm here. I promise." He whispers before pressing your lips together delicately.
Your heart soars. Your hands shakily press against his cheeks, drawing closer as his own press your hips together. He's soft. He's tender. He's cautious and all encompassing. Filling your senses and making you lightheaded.
As you both part for a breath, he flips you onto your back. His hand grips the underside of your thigh and presses you close enough that he lets out a soft and broken sound.
His eyes are heavily lidded as he gazes down at you, lips pink. "I just want you. No one else. I promise." He utters.
You twist your hands into his hair, eyes fluttering. "You're it." You pass back.
His lips are back on yours. Wet and eager. This is sudden. Fast. But you've been waiting for so long. Had been clinging onto the smallest of things. Desperate to have this closeness that you had now. To feel his skin against yours. His breath mixing with your own. Everything him and everything you intertwined.
You just wanted to cherish this—
WOOF!
You and Jinshi both tense up, jumping. Looking over his shoulder, your eyes widen upon finding a familiar dog staring down at you both, wagging tail eager and happy to see you.
Jinshi's eyebrows furrow, "Huh...?"
There's not much warning before the dog is jumping down. Landing straight on Jinshi's back, causing the poor man to let out a pained sound. He's squishing you against the ground as the dog stands on his back, happily lapping his tongue against your cheek.
Vague disgust and disappointment wash over you, but you smile all the same. "Oh, boy!"
He barks again. A greeting you're sure.
Above, Lihaku and, surprisingly, Maomao appear. Both of them stare down at you with varying degrees of emotions. Lihaku looked excited and kinda like his dog, while Maomao.
Well, Maomao looked all too knowing.
"Well, you look rough!" Lihaku called down with a grin, "Glad to see you're not dead."
"As am I!" You huff out a laugh, then look to Maomao. "Hello, Xiaomao!"
"Hello." Maomao said flatly, she looked lower and her face screwed up distastefully. "Is Jinshi-sama okay?"
Lihaku then he spots his dog and slightly pales, letting out a sharp whistle. "C'mon, boy!"
The dog eagerly jumps off Jinshi, going to sit by your head and wag his tail. The man above you sighs in relief, pushing up off you. He sits up and you try not to focus on the bright blush on his face.
"Why did he do that?" The royal asks.
"Must've thought something was wrong." Lihaku rubs the back of his neck, frowning down at you both. "What... exactly where you two doing?"
You and Jinshi glance at one another, furious blushes flushing over you both. Despite anything that Jinshi said, there were things that you weren't allowed to do. Rules and laws that forbid something like this form happening the public eye. For a man like himself from being with a woman like you. A servant with a beautiful prince.
Protecting him was the priority.
"Nothing!" You shout back, ignoring the eyebrow raise that garnered from both Jinshi and Maomao.
Everything was better left alone. A secret between the both of you. To cherish and hold for however long it may need. You could deal with the anger and longing later.
#✩࿐ t writes#jinshi x reader#apothecary diaries#apothecary diaries x reader#jinshi#jinshi x y/n#jinshi x you#Kusuriya no Hitorigoto x reader#Kusuriya no Hitorigoto#request#anon
539 notes
·
View notes
Text
Let’s take a peek in MM’s diary….
Dear diary,
Sometime 2022/2023
I sent off a letter to Omid today. I was so smart, I told him to eat it after he finished reading it! Brilliant I am! Anyways, here is a copy for my records….(I have to have some idea of what I have to deny)
Hi ya Omid!
I have been writing day and night to get these 200,001 pages to you! I am almost done. As you have 2 chapters, I am now sending the other 441. Just quick notes, the chapter titled The Racists…just fill in the two names. It doesn’t matter who you write down, I will just deny all anyways. Make no mistake I will throw you under the bus. I would strongly suggest one name is the leader, the other is the crybaby. (Did I say that?). Anyways, go with those two. It should be enough to stir things up.
I would love to have a whole chapter on the “children” and the issues they face, but I haven’t seen them very often in the last couple of years, so nothing new. I would love a chapter on how amazing I am, I’m thinking title the chapter “The Chosen Queen”, then you know, the usual…I am a humanitarian…(Quit laughing), gorgeous (add, botox and surgery free😂😂😂😂), kind (I do send out happy bananas (when I feel like I should care), generous (when I use other people’s money…I love charities😃), oh oh…mention I am very private (you know this is true). You know, just add the same stuff you write about me on X.
I want to stir things up, up as you know I am hell bent on revenge and filled with hate. I love writing these books for you, I work out so much that pains me. I hope you appreciate the time I take to write everything down with my fancy calligraphy work…oh…make sure you add I did wedding invitations for the guy that danced with Miley Cyrus.
Remember, I know nothing. I don’t know you. I have never met you (😂😂😂😂😂😂). It is so important that we fool everyone, which is so easy to do by the way. I can’t have my reputation tarnished by a scandal. I am still fighting off the damage I did in Australia, Canada, and a dozen instances in the good ole UK. I know you are wondering if I am ok….I am not. I don’t think I ever will be…but that is ok…I keep on smiling. I got a new set of teeth and these babies almost fit right. Hallelujah! Hopefully they won’t get loose like the other 65 pairs I have tried…anyways…I have to go now. Time to party it up with, you know…that one. He is so boring. So boring. If it wasn’t for the fact he is so easy to manipulate and keep in line, I would move on. Oh wow! That will be another chapter…looking to start a new life after all the misery I have caused, I mean….the misery everyone has caused me. I think I need to do another Oprah interview….ok, Omid…remember eat this note…every single caligified letter!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Your source,
Sally Lou
Donate to MM’s charity…I Am A Scammer, 123 Hollywood Lane or email funds to @iamascammer…
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Evidence as to why I think Sarah x Jareth is one-sided (movie and novelization)
Addressing the massive elephant in the room, I know this is coming out later than I said it would. This semester was full of work and no time to actually sit down and watch the movie, since the only way I could access the movie is through my DVD edition.
Some of the evidence I have overlaps with the movie and novelization, so I'll start with the movie and continue with the novelization
The movie
.whether or not the events of the movie was a dream, Sarah clearly didn't expect anything to happen when she wished Toby away. Once it happened, righting her wrong became the main thing on her mind
.Sarah's stepmom mentions that Sarah should have dates at her age, implying either that Sarah doesn't have a lot of people she's close with besides her family or she's not interested in that kind of stuff
. A lot of the interactions between Sarah and Jareth carry this specific vibe that Sarah is less attracted to him and more trying to impress him like he's some sort of cool, older friend and she needs to prove to him that she's nonchalant and means what she says. The novelization leans into this a little more.
. Exception to the previous is the ballroom scene, where Sarah seems more dazed and confused than anything. She's just kind of going along with wherever and whatever the movement of the crowd leads her to until she realizes what's going on and breaks free.
The novelization
.The first chapter not only adds lore to Sarah's bio mom that was regulated to background details in the movie, but also gives Sarah the characterization of being fascinated by the idea of fame. Also in the first chapter, Jeremy is introduced via flashback/exposition. Who's Jeremy? The guy Sarah's mom left her dad for and Jareth's "real-world counterpart" (though more on that later). He seems aware of Sarah's fascination with fame (both in general and her mother's fame), with it being mentioned within the flashback to Sarah's 15th birthday that "he kidded her that a flashbulb meant they'd be all over the gossip columns the next morning, and all the way home he drove fast, to shake off the photographers, he claimed, grinning" (page 18). Both him and her mom are used to similar kind of stuff, so it makes sense that Sarah would admire having that kind of attention and that her mom would give her the chance to feel like a celebrity for a day as a gift.
.Going off of the above, this passage from page 16:
"Perhaps I will have a date, she thought, perhaps I will, but you will not like it, not one bit, when you see who's dating me. I doubt you will see him. All you will know about it is hearing the front door shut behind me, and you will sneak to the window, as you always do, and poke your nose between those horrid phony-lace curtains you put up there, and you will see the taillights of a wicked dove-gray limousine vanishing around the corner. And after that, you will keep seeing pictures in the magazines of the two of us together in Bermuda, and St. Tropez, and Benares. And there will be nothing at all you can possibly do about it, for all your firm views on bedtimes and developmental psychology and my duties and rolling up the toothpaste tube from the bottom. Oh, stepmother, are you going to be sorry when you read in Vogue about the cosmic cash that Hollywood producers are offering us for-"
She doesn't mention an actual thing about her fantasy boyfriend other than being a celebrity and them becoming the new couple everyone obsesses over (*cough cough* like the way Sarah's mom and Jeremy are described together *cough*)
.On page 65, at the point of the story where Sarah ends up in the oubliette, Jareth reminisces about Sarah and how she's "too young to be kept". Sarah, on the other hand, has no mentioned opinion on him.
.Close to the end of chapter 5, it's noted that Sarah only says "it's a piece of cake" to Jareth's question about how she was enjoying the labyrinth because she's trying to come off as nonchalant and not intimidated
.Honestly, the way the ballroom scene is described in the novelization makes me kind of uncomfortable. The other dancers leer at Sarah in a way that could be interpreted as sexual and one even makes a comment about her beauty after looking at her breasts and hips. She feels dizzy, but it goes away once her and Jareth are dancing together. He leans in to kiss her and she initially embraces it until she notices the room is silent and sees that the other dancers are around the two of them, attempting to hold back laughter. She tries to leave, but she can't and he kisses her in spite of her now being aware of what's going on. Only then does she break the bubble she's in and exits the ballroom scene. The whole point is that Sarah is uncomfortable with a capital U.
Extra point that @thehumantrampoline mentioned that I feel like should be mentioned:
"[Jareth's] an archetypal oxymoron. He's both the dastardly baby-stealing villain and the royal love interest trying to relieve the heroine's suffering, Cinderella-style. He's fucked either way by being both. [Sarah] doesn't know if SHE wants to be the villain or the heroine until he shows up and then she decides on the heroine... [Jareth's] just a story for a teen girl to grow up in, and as the villain [he has] to be defeated. He's so complex because his tropes contradict themselves, and he doesn't understand why he has to lose when he was only doing the job he was given."
(check out their post, it goes into a lot more detail than what I quoted)
Ultimately, this sums up what could be concluded from everything. Jareth isn't a reflection of love or someone she aspired to be with, he's a reflection of her desire of fame and the stories she caught herself up in. She doesn't love him, she loves the story he's a part of.
#labyrinth#labyrinth 1986#merry Christmas btw I know this came out a month or two late#thank you for coming to my ted talk
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
through the hourglass 86. brb x oc
a/n: still unsure about a lot but im a bit better than before. hope you guys like the chapter!
pairing: plus size!oc x rooster
warnings: none
goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)
chapter
1/
50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64/65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76/77/78/79/80/81/82/83/84/85
(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! )
taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix
@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls
@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2
@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12
@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things @caatheeriinee07 @dhwanishah09 @jesfreedark @katiemcrae @lilmonstrjedi @hobiismyhopeu @teacupsandtopgun @insominac23 @gh0stsgoodgirl @mygyn @chavivaelisheva
-
After dissolving the shock of Evelyn’s news - and of course accepting when she asked Beatrice to be her bridesmaid -their Halloween was pretty uneventful. Beatrice had a lot of fun, there were so many kids in their neighborhood that she just stood by the door as Rooster kept holding Nicole, smiling at his wife’s pure excitement.
He was glad they had a good day. He was glad he could go to work the very next day without worrying about Beatrice too much, he was glad that they had a wonderful night and the pep on his step was enough to make people look his way.
He was just happy that they were on a fresh new stage in life.
“Sir!”
Rooster furrows his brows, hearing quick steps approaching him from behind, which makes him stop and turn to look at who it was. Faraday skids into a halt, the rubber soles of his boots squeaking on the floor as he salutes the higher ranking officer, “Sir! Good morning,sir!”
“Good morning,Faraday.”
Faraday smiles briefly as if he couldn’t believe that Rooster knew his name, “How is your day going,sir?”
Rooster blinks at him, “Fine.” then arches his brow, “How’s yours?”
“Good! Good!”
He doesn’t know why the young recruit stays there, looking at him still. It’s a bit uncomfortable. Rooster props his hands on his hips, furrowing his brows, “Anything I can help you with,Faraday?” he questions, “Because we both have things to do today,don’t we?”
“OH! Um, yes sir. I have a question.”
“Alright.” he waits for him to say something but Faraday is just staring…so Rooster sighs, “Permission to speak is granted, go on.”
Faraday’s smile widened and he nodded, his arms behind his back, “Is it true you and Captain Mitchell took down three birds in an old girl?” Faraday had a voice that made him sound like he was a radio host from the 1950s, he didn’t know if it was the slicked back hairstyle or the obvious New York accent - like a light version of Tony Soprano - but hearing those words coming out of the young recruit were actually funny.
Rooster chuckled, “Yeah. It is true.” he thought he already knew that, in fact he thought him and his friends knew that, he had no idea why he was asking that but the way Faraday was looking at him it was like he had just told him the lottery numbers. “Why?”
“That’s…so cool sir.” he mutters, “We all heard about it, you know? When it happened, and-and we all had a blast figuring out how everything happened! It’s…so cool. Really.”
Rooster just arches his brow higher with an amused smirk, chuckling quietly, “Well,glad to give you guys something to talk about,” he turns on his heel, “Take care, Faraday-” but the younger recruit rushes up to stand in front of him, flushed and still nervous.
“S-Sir,do you think that…one day…we’ll be able to meet Captain Mitchell?” he asks, “Me and the guys I mean. We know he’s your uncle and–”
“I’ll see what I can do.” Now that made Faraday’s eyes widen and smile broaden. There’s a quiet ‘yes!” coming from behind him and Rooster turns his torso to see the other two recruits barely hiding behind a wall. He blinks, then slowly lifts his hand on a greeting which the other young men clearly weren’t expecting by the way they just looked at each other and silently disappeared from Rooster’s view. “Anything else?”
“Anything else- oh! How’s the ma’am and the little miss?” he asks and Rooster just looks so confusedly elated by the question that it takes a while for him to reply, “Are they okay?”
“They are fine,Faraday. Both of them are fine.” he smiles, thankfully so at the young recruit, “Thanks for asking,though. I really appreciate that.” and he did, he loved talking about his girls and knowing that the younger recruits wanted to know about them was really nice.
“Psst! Faraday!” he hears McAllister’s voice, the two of them turning to where he could see the young pilot cupping his mouth “Ask him if we can gift them something!” and he hid himself again…were they trying to be…quiet? But Rooster could hear everything-
“Oooh, right! Yeah, can we gift them something?”
Rooster looked between Faraday and the area where the other two were hiding for a few seconds, chuckling in disbelief, shrugging with a smile, “I–yeah, sure. Why not? I don’t mind it.”
“Nice!” Faraday even fist pumps, “Does the little miss have any allergies? Or anything?”
Little Miss, oh he had to tell Beatrice that one, “No, she doesn’t. But she is five months old, so stuffed animals aren’t really a good idea.” he was surprised how focused Faraday looked, cupping his chin in thought, nodding as he hears his every word. It was…strange but not that strange, it could be much worse, “And my wife likes pretty much anything, especially arts related stuff.”
“I told you!”
“SSh!”
Rooster’s brow just flicked alongside his eyes to the sound of the other men’s voices, Faraday even pulled out his phone to type something in his notes, murmuring to himself, “Anything else?”
“Would you like something,sir?”
“Nah,I’m fine. Get my girls something nice.” he is surprised at how excited the new recruits are, he didn’t know why - maybe they just missed their own families, he knew one of them had a child…he had no idea which one though because he never asked. “Anyway,I gotta go now. See you guys around,” he turns to where the other two were hiding “All of you.”
“Bye,sir!”
Rooster rolls his eyes with a chuckle, turning on his heel as he walks away from them. He was glad someone else was having that much fun, he didn’t mind as long as it was harmless…and those boys were pretty harmless.
He looks down at his phone to check if Bea sent him a message, which she did, entering his office and locking the door behind him. There was a picture of her and Nicole, their baby daughter was lying on her stomach on top of the baby mat, Eleanor and Jack on either side of her with the white dog closer to the baby, her pink snout almost touching Nicole’s leg.
She’s smiling at the camera, some toys are close to her and he could see Beatrice’s legs curled away from the picture with Jolene’s head on top.
Bea (12:33)
She’s very happy today :) ! I think she enjoyed Halloween more than we thought.
Bea (12:33)
Oh,also, can I call you? There’s something I wanna tell you,Roos.
As if she even had to ask. He just typed yes and sat down on his chair, sighing and letting the leather deflate under his weight as he waited for Beatrice’s call. And she waits less than a minute, “Hey,gorgeous.” he smiles, turning his chair left and right with one of his legs, “Glad to hear from you on this fine morning.”
“Oh,shush, you.” she giggles on the other end, her feet touching the ground as she walks around the house “How is your day going,Roos?”
"Good, pretty good.” he smiles, “Remembering stuff that happened this weekend has been a good distraction.” Her pause from the other end was the only way he was sure she was blushing, followed by her quiet embarrassed chuckle and since he couldn’t get enough of her, he ended up chuckling to himself, “What do you want to talk about my gorgeous,gorgeous wife?”
“Stop, oh my god you are so awful.” his smirk only widens, “...anyway, I just wanted to share something with you.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, it’s something…um…well! You know how I had my reunion a few years ago?”
“Yes…?”
“Well…Hannah messaged me asking if I was going to the reunion barbecue they are going to have…and um…well,I said I didn’t know because I didn’t know they’d even do that.” he could hear her fiddling with something on the other end,maybe a glass of water “I mean why have another reunion? Was the other one that bad?”
Both of them said ‘probably’ and ended up laughing at their synchronization, “Well,do you wanna go?”
“I don’t know. It is in a nice place, nicely decorated…we can bring guests.” she messes with something else on the other end, “So…spouses.”
Rooster runs his hand through his hair, combing some of the sandy brown tresses back as he hears her. He’d go with her if she wanted to go, “Can we bring Nikki?”
“I don’t know, there will be...alcohol there.”
“When is it going to happen?”
“November. Like…middle of November.”
Rooster runs his fingers over his mustache, then holds his head up by the same hand, arching his brows, “Well…I don’t mind going with you if you want to go.” he says, “We can leave Nikki with your parents and if I’m not deployed I’m sure we can go, gorgeous.”
Beatrice was silent for a bit, sipping her water and walking back to where Nikki was - he smiled hearing their daughter babble happily to the dogs who undoubtedly were paying attention to her every word - “The last time I went…it wasn’t so bad. Me and Hannah talked a lot but…Eric showed up.” she hears his sharp inhale “It doesn’t mean he will again,Roos. Especially now.”
“Well,” he chuckles, rubbing his forehead, “Another reason for me to show up, don’t you think…by the way why did they want to do this again?”
“I asked Hannah and she has no idea either. She thinks…well…hm, she assumes it was because not everyone could join the last reunion or they all left early.”
“Sounds like a party.”
“It wasn’t that great. I think there’s also…um…the girl…I forgot her name not but she organized everything so perfectly that I think people got uncomfortable.”
Rooster swings on his chair for a little bit more, digging his boot’s heel on the floor to give him some leverage as he moves, the squeak of metal following every movement, “Understandable. Hey,I mean,” he shrugs even if she couldn’t see it, “If you decide to go,we’ll go.”
“Really?”
“Gorgeous,I’d do anything for you.” he smiles at her soft and quiet ‘aw’ “And if you want to do that, really want to do it I’m all for it.”
‘Okay…it’s just…sometimes I feel we do a lot of what I like and not what you like.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I-I don’t know,it’s just…well,we…we go out to do things I enjoy but very seldom we do things you like and- I-I don’t know,it’s something I thought about.”
Maybe it was the one thing that brought this conversation on so suddenly and she had no idea how to start without fumbling over her words. Rooster felt his chest flutter because how can someone like Beatrice be real? He is married to her and dated her and yet he still couldn’t grasp how thoughtful and kind she could be. With a hand on his face, his own cheeks flushing because of her, he just sinks on his seat a little bit more, “Gorgeous.” he begins, “I swear,I’ll figure out a way to kiss you through the phone.”
“...oh. Um…”
‘God,Bea…I love doing things with you.”
“Really?”
“Baby,yes,yes absolutely! I love going out with you and enjoying what you enjoy. Don’t think you are ‘forcing’ me to do things I don’t enjoy. Hell,baby I used to not go out at all or if I did it was with the guys and I’d go home quickly…I love being with you.”
“I love being with you too.”
“So if you wanna go to this barbecue thing,we can go. We’ll have as much fun as we can and we’ll have a good time…because I like being with you.” he hears her shy giggle and almost feels her blush through the phone.
“Okay…um…but,we can do something with you, next time.”
“Oh?”
“Well,I know you like fishing.” she begins “And camping…and so do I so! Maybe- well I looked some stuff up and apparently camping with a five months old baby can be fun! A-And Nikki will have a core memory…that she might not even remember when she’s older but, you know what I mean!”
Ah…he loved her.
Rooster just melted in his seat, slapping a hand over his heart and making a pained face - still smiling - “Gorgeous,I’d love that. You know I would…we promised to do that,didn’t we?”
“We did. You said it made you fall even more in love with me.”
“And that statement remains true.”
“I know…well…then I can tell Hannah we are going?”
“Sure thing, gorgeous. It’ll be interesting, plus we might need a better celebration.” he mumbles, still swinging back and forth, “I know you’d like that too.”
He had no idea what to expect from this…barbecue reunion thing but she sounded excited about it. And they could go camping after, that’d be more than fine to him too.
‘Oh, Roos.”
“Yes,baby?”
She pauses on the other end, “So…if you aren’t deployed in December…I was thinking we could…spend Christmas in Virginia.” she whispers it, almost fearful, “I…well, it’s because…wouldn’t it be important for Nikki to know some of her family’s history? We can take her to meet your parents.”
And Rooster was silent, silent and feeling so much all at once. He straightens himself, then leans over the desk to keep his head up as he takes in what she said. He didn’t deserve her, there was no way he deserved her because of course she’d suggest something like this. It took some time for him to gather enough composure and manage a response, even wiping his eyes a bit when he felt the sting coming from behind his irises, “Fuck.”
“You okay?”
“Fuck,I…I’m great.” he sniffles, shaking his head with a smile, “God,Bea…I love you so much,gorgeous. Do you have any idea how much?”
“I think it’s the same amount I love you.” and she’s smiling as she says it “Do you like the idea?”
“I love the idea. Hell yeah, let’s go there. Spend Christmas and New Years maybe?”
At his sweet suggestion all that Beatrice could do was laugh softly “I don’t see why not. Maybe we can choose that cabin from before, or something similar because we’ll take Nikki and the dogs with us.”
“I can do that…God Bea…thank you.” he whispers, “Thank you for suggesting it and I–” he looks down at his watch with a groan “...gotta go. Fuck, gorgeous I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay Roos. Just be safe okay? Have a good day, I hope you get wonderful news today! I love you,so so so much!” Nicole babbles in the background “So does Nikki!”
He chuckles, holding his head up with his free hand, “I love you too, both of you…bye gorgeous.”
“Bye,Roos.”
As she ends the call he just drops the phone and cups his face with his hands, a dreamy smile on his face, “...I might just ask her to marry me again.”
#bradley rooster bradshaw#rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x oc#top gun maverick#bradley bradshaw x reader#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley bradshaw x named reader#tgm oc#tgm fic#tgm fanfiction
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
Koisuru Scramble - Chapter 4
Writer: Nishioka Maiko
Translation by: Sophie // Proofread by: Mirei
NOTE: I EXPLICITLY PROHIBIT USAGE OF ANY PART OF MY TRANSLATIONS ON ANYTHING THAT RELATES TO AI.
This story is fully voiced in-game! You should read while listening to it~
Episode 65: Farewell Marble
Hajime: Ah, Nakaouji-kun!
Eiki: …Hi there.
Hajime: Don't you just hate how it’s been pouring since this morning~? I do. It’s so humid.
Oh, right. I wanted to talk about our after-school meeting later. Say, when the rain finally stops, do you mind if we—
Eiki: ………
Hajime: …? Nakaouji-kun, is everything okay? You look like you're not in the mood. Did something happen?
Eiki: …Let’s stop these after-school meetings.
Hajime: Huh…? What do you mean…?
Eiki: I’m sorry. I think it’s better for you to not be with my company anymore. Please forget all of it — about everything until now and everything about me. Forget it all.
I’ll be on my way now.
Hajime: Hey, wait—!
Eiki: ………
Hajime: Wait, Nakaouji-kun! I’m begging you, please stop right there!
Eiki: ………
Hajime: Hey… What did you mean with what you just said? Forget about everything? I can’t understand why I should.
Was it something I did? Please tell me.
Eiki: No… It’s not you, Koino-san. It’s me.
Hajime: ‘It’s me’? Please, make me understand. Please, face me properly.
Eiki: It would’ve been probably better if… I didn’t notice that.
I’m sorry… I don’t think I’ll be the one who can make you smile. I’m sure there are other people out there who can give you greater happiness than I could ever do.
…Bye bye.
Hajime: Huh…?
………
(...My happiness?)
(Why? You haven’t even properly told me what your words actually mean... I still can't understand. You didn’t even give me a chance to talk. Are you really deciding to end things on your own?)
Even though we still talked just fine and had fun until yesterday?
(...He really wants us to pretend that nothing happened, huh.)
(Even the fact that we met at all.)
(I mean, of course. What was I thinking? We are not on the same level, after all. His life and mine weren’t even meant to intersect at all.)
(That’s why it’s okay... It’s much better to pretend that all of that didn’t happen in the very first place.)
(If any, I should be thankful for it! All those times we spent together felt like I was in a fairytale, even just for a little while.)
(So thank you…)
[ Her voice starts breaking. ]
(Bye bye…)
Hajime: …Gh… uhu… hic…
Miki: ………
-----
[ The next day ]
Hajime: ……… Hah.
Hajime: (I didn’t get a wink of sleep at all... Ah, hang in there, me. We can’t stay like this. Life goes on. We need to get back to usual…)
Miki: Hey. Stop idling around. You’re in the way.
Hajime: Ah, s-sorry!
Hehe, you caught me daydreaming. Good morning, Kurose-kun.
Miki: ………
Hajime: Hm? What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?
Miki: …A weird face.
Hajime: Hah?! Excuse me, I didn’t order rudeness for breakfast! Well, I'm so sorry that I was born with this face!
Miki: …Come with me.
Hajime: Huh? Hold up! How about classes?!
Miki: Skipping.
Hajime: What?! W-Wait a minute! Stop pulling my hand!
-----
Hajime: Ahahaha~!
Miki: …God, do you really have to laugh out so loud?
Hajime: Sorry, sorry~ I thought I was gonna get it this time, but of course a hole suddenly appears on the platform the character stepped on.
It’s the first time I saw you panic like that!
Ah, now that we're on the topic; I didn’t know you're such an expert in arcade games. You even got this huge plushie!
Is it really okay for me to have this?
Miki: I guess. It’s not as if I wanted a plushie myself. I only like getting it. If you want it then you can have it.
Hajime: Hm~? So I’m just a convenient recipient because I’m here and I want it? Well, I won't say no to that. I’d love to have it. Thank you.
Miki: ………
Hajime: Hm? What’s up? Something good happened?
Miki: Are you having fun?
Hajime: Huh? Oh, yes! I’m having a lot of fun!
Miki: Then continue smiling like that when you’re with me. Your face looked worse and grim this morning.
Hajime: ………
Mm. You really came in the perfect time... The truth is… I wasn’t up to go to class today, so you really helped me.
I feel a bit better now. Thanks for letting me hang out with you, Kurose-kun.
Miki: Is it because of what Eiki told you?
Hajime: Huh…?
Miki: I saw you and Eiki in front of the fountain yesterday. My bad, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.
Hajime: ………
Hajime: Ahah~ you heard us?
Haha… That’s embarrassing~ Mhm. I think I did something that made him angry at me.
I mean, it’s already weird from the start. He’s the school’s lauded prince, isn’t he? It doesn’t make sense that he’s got anything to do with me…
So, I’m fine! Very, very fine. If I can just pretend to go back to the time when I haven’t met him at all—
(Oh no… Talking about it myself just brings tears to my eyes.)
Miki: ………
Hajime: …! Kurose-…kun? Let go—
Miki: Just choose me. I won’t ever make you feel this kind of loneliness. I’ll always put a smile on your face.
Hajime: Huh…?
Miki: Erase that guy in your mind. He’s the worst bastard who just pushes someone away without properly explaining why.
Hajime: Stop calling him that! Nakaouji-kun is not the worst bastard! He’s always been so kind to me! I was the happiest when I was with him!
Miki: …Then why not let him know? Did you even tell him that? Even if you wanted to say something, you just backed away with your tail between your legs, didn’t you?
That’s why you’re not your usual self.
And I’m sure that guy too is…
Never mind.
Hajime: Kurose-kun…
Miki: Go and tell him what you feel.
And if that doesn’t go well, I’ll…
Miki: …I’ll take you to the arcade again. Just think of it as your save point. With that in mind, wouldn’t it be easier to give it your all?
Hajime: Yeah… Thank you.
-----
Previous Chapter // Next Chapter // Translation Masterlist
#enstars#enstars tl#ensemble stars#enstars translation#hajime shino#eichi tenshouin#niki shiina#koisuru scramble#koisuku
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
THE BOYS(AND TSUBAKI) ARE BACK IN TOWN
Time to celebrate. After many months, we finally have the three-chapter gap in translations of Nii Satoru's Wind Breaker FILLED on mangareader.
This series is great, y'all. If you like media with delinquents and fighting, this is the series to read.
Also, if you like good transgender representation in your manga, this series is a must-read.
This is Takusu Tsubakino. Despite what the official translations for scenes involving her may lead you to believe, she is indeed transgender and when the only site I could find this on had fan scans with really bad formatting, she was a standout character to me as a newly-trans woman myself. She gets her own arc explaining who she is as a person and let me tell you, that shit brought me to tears with how seen I felt reading it.
BUT FIRST A LITTLE BACKGROUND
I got recommended this manga in a really small Facebook group that was dedicated to sharing art(fan and official) of trans characters in manga and anime and I didn't know just how good this character would be going into it. The series' writing, at first, was somewhat standard, but I sensed that there was more to the story even without the trans rep. And there was. It confronts a lot of issues that I faced growing up like having trouble fitting, trying to prove yourself in all the wrong ways, and getting rid of a fractured image of what it means to be fulfilled.(excuse the following picture's quality, it was from my old phone which did this weird thing where the screen brightness also determined the brightness of the screen capture)
Now I was really sucked in to the story already and they showed Tsubakino in an earlier panel in one of the chapters following the first major fight in the series because she's one of the 5 strongest people at the school the characters go to, which is full of kind-hearted delinquents doing community service and being the pride of the town because of it.
Unfortunately, Tsubaki didn't get her own chapter until almost the end of where the English fan translations stopped at the time but I will reiterate: I fucking cried when I got to her backstory.
Now when she finally gets a chance to speak out loud in chapter 62, we get the good news of the main character, Sakura, not being transphobic after being corrected once(in the fan translations, I took a break in the middle of writing this because I needed to re-read her arc to put my thoughts in order and they got updated with the official translations that still use he/him). Honestly? Huge win because Sakura is a whole other post himself that I may or may not make later.
But the real meat comes from the chapter after this. Tsubaki asks Sakura on a date, which is just her way of saying: "Come help me with a personal project." That project is to visit an older man that she met as a child and keep him company because he and his now-deceased wife were the ones who helped her realize that she is trans and the way they tell the story in chapters 64 and 65 are absolutely tearjerking so I'm not going to really get into it here. Please go read those chapters to really feel it for yourself!(pt2 in reblogs)
#transgender#windbreaker nii satoru#nii satoru#takusu tsubakino#please read this series i'm literally begging you#shonen#shonen manga
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
Spy x Family HYPOTHESIS/THEORY - Shopkeeper's true identity.
I have a feeling that I know who shopkeepers true identity is and - bear with me through this, it's Twilight's father. The chapters I will use to support this hypothesis are the newest released chapter 65, chapter 62.1-62.2, Chapter 44, and subsequent moments throughout the chapters we have up to date.
Spoilers ahead for obvious reasons.
This realization I had came when reading chapter 65 - when Yor meets Melinda Desmond. Up until this point (and I'm assuming the talent will just not stop), Tatsuya Endo has done an amazing job in character design, specifically with showing familial relations. The most obvious of this technique being the striking resemblance between Yuri and Yor, and then in the most recent chapter where you couldn't help but notice the woman in the department store having Damian's same eyes the moment Yor catches her on the stairs...
It made me think back to reading chapter 62.1-62.2 when Twilight passed out and is remembering his past (and also what he said to Yor on their date in chapter 35 - that he can't really recall what his mother looked like). And then I also thought about chapter 44, where the character design for the shopkeeper was so striking. When first reading that chapter a month ago or so, I remember thinking to myself how eerie the shopkeeper looked, but I only dismissed it as a creative technique for character portrayal. Now I'm not so sure that's just it...
First (and foremost) piece of evidence: Twilight's father is never proven to be dead. We see how easy it was to believe that Twilight's childhood friends died in the warehouse explosion when they were kids, only to find out that years later they all became part of Westalis' military. Just before these explosions, Twilight's father left for business regarding the conflict between Ostania and Westalis at the border (this is all told primarily in chapters 62.1-62.2). They never specify if he was a victim to the bombings, and even Twilight himself as a child worries that his father won't be able to find them when he comes back home (I mean it's more of a dramatic rhetorical to show devastation, but honestly there's no other mentioned evidence of his death, just as there was none with his friends). In addition, if it is the case that his father is alive (which would otherwise stop my hypothesis short in its tracks), he would most likely be residing in Ostania for whatever anti-war business he seemed to be doing.
Second piece of evidence: the very striking jawline. As aforementioned, Tatsuya Endo really enjoys drawing resemblances from family members - but who's to say that's not a technique that can indicate more than familial ties? We can notice a similar profile between Twilight's profile as an adult and the vague-ish profile of his father in the 62.1-62.2 flashback chapters (straight nose when looking head on, the beaming smile + wide closed-mouthed smile, the way that his dad's chin rounds off from certain angles and then is more squared in others). Trying to go beyond those similarities is hard given to the forgetful nature of Twilight's recollections of his face, but the dramatic drop of his jawline - it's something I thought of the moment I realized this pattern of similar characteristics. I took screenshots of the shopkeepers jawline on page 5 of chapter 44 and compared it to Twilight's dad's jaw on page 8 of chapter 62.1 (right after he hits twilight), as well as page 12 (just before he beams when Twilights asks him for reference book funds). It's the lines that run down to the chin, long and dramatic in all scenarios. Sure the shopkeeper has a few more wrinkles, but that would account for age. I also took into consideration the dramatic eyes not really matching Twilight's, as well as the lacking resemblance of the rounded chin. It may be a stretch, but perhaps twilight has more of his mom's eyes, and the overcast shadow of the shopkeeper's hat distorts his face so that the reader doesn't immediately think "omg Twilight!" when seeing him in chapter 44. Also, on page 5, I can't help but see a Twilight-like intensive facial expression when the shopkeeper tests Yor's instincts with the garden shears.
Third piece of evidence: The structure of the garden itself- both physically and metaphorically. These clues may seem a bit moot especially considering their pertinence compared to the other arguments above, but I still feel like they are relevant in their own right. I will get the feebler one out of the way first: a glimpse of Twilight's childhood home. Please don't laugh at my reach, but a quick frame of the front porch on the bottom right of page 6 in chapter 62.1 shows a tiny but fairly well kept garden/flower bed. I feel like, if I'm right here, it's a call back to the shopkeeper's beautifully meticulous garden exhibited in chapter 44. The difference in size could account for the fact that Twilight's dad appeared to have to travel for business, but I would rather not dwell on the specifics of such a minor supportive argument. The other is the metaphorical structure of The Garden as a contract killing organization. Though Yor mainly kills "traitors of the East", she is never fully debriefed on why her targets need to be eliminated - what crimes they actually committed (or I guess the reader is just left out in that respect). The flash back in chapter 62.1-62.2 demonstrates that Twilight's dad aggressively fought for peace between nations - or at the very least did not completely pick sides. Sure the anti-war opinions were conveyed paradoxically through abusing Twilight, but the overall message that he does not believe in blind nationalism as a means of conducting international affairs, as an international business man himself. The shopkeeper has a similar approach, mainly targeting so called "traitors" within the east but occasionally doing dirty work for opposing organizations - as we see with rescue ops for the Gretcher family.
Yes it may seem like I have a lot of time on my hands to think about this but truth be told I'm procrastinating work. Also I've been up since 6am gathering evidence because I read chapter 65 last night and started speculating right before falling asleep. Goodness knows I cannot get my work done unless I purge myself of speculation. Please let me know if anyone agrees/disagrees/notices something I haven't - the two other people I know personally who read Spy x Family are behind in reading the chapters and I'd love to discuss :)
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
Visitors (a 65 story) - Chapter 1: Prologue
Pairing: Captain Mills x Fem Reader
Fic Summary: 65 million years ago, Captain Mills (played by Adam Driver) crashes a passenger transport ship into Earth during the Cretaceous period. You are among three survivors of the crash. Together with Mills, you must make your way to the only shot of extraction through an unknown terrain riddled with deadly prehistoric creatures.
Warnings: Mention of suicide, loss of parents, trauma bonding
Fic Masterlist
Read on Ao3
___
The planet Somaris
Mills
“This time is different. The longest I’ve been away was 6 weeks, this is two years.”
“I know. But you’ll be back, and she’ll still be here.”
He feels the warm sand stick between his toes as he tries to savor the feeling of this moment. The salty sea air filling his lungs, the rays of sun kissing his tanned arms. The feeling of Alya held safe in those arms, the smell of her hair against his shoulder. The sight of their precious baby girl, who wasn’t such a baby anymore.
She’s so much like her mother it made his head spin just thinking about it. What did he do to deserve two of them? Beautiful, smart and confident women. Stubborn, sometimes to a fault, his daughter’s health grew steadily worse by the day and yet she’s splashing in the waves, bent on ignoring how her chest felt tight or her eyelids heavy.
The decision has been made for him, the final chance to bail long past now. But as he breathes in this perfect last moment with his family he can’t help but push down the urge to say screw it, to tell the buyers they can shove their quotas where the sun doesn’t shine and park himself right on this beach until the end of his days. This urge is silenced altogether as Nevine turns from the shore and gives him that heart stopping smile she got from her mother.
Two years will slip by like nothing if it means he can afford to keep that smile on her face longer. This one last job will finally get her treatment, give her a chance at the life she deserves. Let her mother be able to sleep through the night and end the whispered midnight arguments over family priorities and rising medical expenses.
He smiles back.
“Just two years.”
Chapter 2
#65#65 movie#Adam driver#mills#65movie#ariana greenblatt#65 fanfic#65 fic#mills x you#mills x reader#mine#Adam driver character#Adam driver fanfic
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mutant Month: The Marvel Super Heroes: Dr. Doom's Day!: Hawkeye is an X-Man Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)
Hello all you happy muties and welcome one and all, wether you fly, shoot rays out of your eyes, make pasta in your nose or your heart can shoot an all inspiring ray that teaches people how to truly love themselves and then explodes them inside out, all are welcome for a celebration of 60 years of the strangest heroes of all, the outlaws, protectors of those who hate and fear them, those undergoing a fall, the uncanny, astonishing, amazing, dark, immortal, red, blue, gold, black, and green, the
As I haven't remotely hid on this blog but will repeat for newcomers, I love the x-men. Their my faviorite superhero team and are easily my faviorite franchise in comics, with spinoffs from New Mutants, to X-Factor to X-Men red all ranking among my faviorite comics ever. I love these characters dearly and haven't covered them nearly enough on here so I decided to celebrate the 65th anniversary with mutant month... and while we're a few months late due to moving and such, this month happening was never in doubt and wills tand as a yearly celebration of all things x.
So to kick this off we've got an odd little note in x-men history, one I wasn't even aware of till asking my good friend emma what animated apperance of the x-men she'd like to cover.. and finding out their first wasn't on spider-man and their amazing friends like i'd thought but much earlier, on a show known for awesome theme songs, shoddy animation and not much else. Yes folks before costarring in the friendly neighborhood, before all the 90's tastic spandex, before 2000s teenage angst and awesomeness, and before the last gasp till a revivial of said 90s spandex, the strangest heroes of all became the allies for peace and teamed up with one of the first mutants to combat the greatest evil the world had ever known on a barely animated marvel cartoon. Also hawkeye was there. So join me under the cut if i've peaked your intrest as we inter the limitedly animated world of the sub mariner and his allies for peace on the marvel super heroes!
The Marvel Super Heroes wasn't just the first animated apperance of the x-men, but the first marvel animated series PERIOD. Create din 1966 and running for 65 episodes (with each episode having three chapters to it but seeming to tell a complete story). The series was made on a budget somewhere BELLOW a paperclip and a piece of string, a singular bottle cap. They simply scanned the actual comics, barely aniamted them, added some effects and for lip movements used Syncro Vox. For those unfamiliar with it Synchro Vox was a super cheap effect where they cut out the characters mouths and had real human mouths recite the words. And if you say "Well jee whiz jake that sounds like a styigan nightmare from the deepest depths of my subconcious" then your right on the money. There's a reason it didn't outlast the 60s.
As you can imagine this .. looks pretty bad and it's better ot just read the actual comics. The actors TRY, they do, but static, barely perserved images on a screen just can't match the panel work in the original jack kirby art. Congradulations Marvel Super HEroes, you found a way to somehow make JACK KIRBY ART not work. I hope your proud.
It's only lasting impacts are , and i'm completely convinced of this, serving as the inspriation for this incredibles short
youtube
At first I thought it was cheap animation in general but knowing now this cartoon uses synchro vox and seeing this cartoon again.. yeah. Good on you crew for doing such an incredibly deep cut and making it work on it's own.
The other is the theme songs. The theme songs for the most part slap.
youtube
YOu'll also recognize the Iron Man theme song as they used a jazzy instuermental in his film. And given it's the best of the bunch it's easy to say.
There's two themes missing from this. The first is the shows theme itself. Which is... a lot.
youtube
I mean they did get namor down pretty down pat.
So kudos. Speaking of Namor his absence from that montage kinda speaks to him as a whole. As doe shis theme being a bit.. less than the others
youtube
It's not bad, but you get they just didn't quite have Imperius Sex Machine as defined as the other 4. Captain America at the time was a man of action, who fought for the people and was a symbol of all of america has to offer. Iron Man was a playboy who kept people at a distance. Thor is a god full of the majesty and wonder that brings, and Hulk.. well okay Hulk's theme is just goofy but damn if it isn't fun and still gets the point across. But namors is "Look at him ain't he powerful. He rules a kingdom.
So for those less familiar with the prince of the deep who might of missed wakanda forever, a quick recap: Namor started as a golden age super hero, one of Timely, the future marvel comics, first, and one of the big three of his day with the human torch, a diffrent one than the one who'd later flame on with the fantastic four, and Captain America. LIke most timely heroes he vanished to the sands of time for a while.
So cue the Fantastic Four and the true birth of the marvel universe. And since Marvel coudln't just let their bigger names of days past simply lie around, they put the human torch moniker on our boy johnny storm. And once the fantastic four proved to be the hit they were, they decided to bring him back via this book to test the waters.
It's a clever return too: Naturally the person to bring namor back is Johnny Storm, the new human torch and spirtual successor to the original who Namor famously battled in the golden age. Johnny was a teen at the time and ran away from home eventually ending up at a homeless shelter.. and finding NAMOR. Turns out since wwII (an increasing gap but unlike most in comics one that dosen't need to be handwaved as Namor is immortal), namor lost his memory and grew a beard. Johnny uses his power to burn it off
And unable to convince namor he's a freaky fish guy dunks him in the bay. The good news is this brings Namor back. The bad news.. is this brings namor back, who sees his kingdom in ruins and wages war with the surface. The four are able to mostly repel him, and Namor ends up taking a liking to JOhnny's sister Sue.
These became his primary character traits: wanting to lash out at the surface, and wanting to nail Reed Richards girlfriend and later wife. Seriously just a few years later the guy buys AN ENTIRE FILM STUDIO when he hears Reed's gone bankrupt simply to try and win her over.
As other books sprouted up he'd appear in them, mostly to punch the hero or be courted by various supervillians to team up with them as he was the hottest guy in prom.
And that's where the decision to make HIM the 5th pillar of this show really makes me tilt my head. Namor isn't a TERRIBLE character. He's not one I like a lot, but it's simply because outside of his stint with the x-men, where both Matt Fraction and especially Kireon Gilleon really nailed him down: arrogant, but not without honor, powerfula s hell and knows it and while certainly willing to go after someones partner does so because he senses a lack of passion. Dosen't make it okay. Also as seen above it shows his tastes are wide, varied and awesome.
The problem is most of the time he's just an angry fish man with a pretty standard power set and a fairly boring kingdom. Wakanda forever completely redesigning it really helped the MCU version.
But just thinking of the remaining superhero books they could use while fantastic fours rights were elsewhere, as were spideys, they still had ant-man and the x-men. (The avengers were around but were largely saved to adapt in cap and iron man's shorts). I get it to a point: Ant Man had recently been canceled and X-Men.. weren't exactly a hit.
See the early x-men adventures.. aren't great. Their not terrible, there's some good ones as i've read them, and it's not exactly a big secret in the x-men fandom or marvel fandom as a whole that while the CONCEPT for the x-men was great: a new evolution of mankind with powers, that next step being largely teens and young adults struggling to control them.. but Stan Lee and Jack Kirby had no idea what to do with this. Stan 100% created the concept of mutants so he wouldn't have to make up an origin for every superpowered villian or hero. You can only use good ole radation so many times before people catch on and Thor, Cap and Iron Man all had super unique origins that coudln't easily be replicated. The most they could do thor wise is bring in another god from another mytholgy with herc.
But it was at it's core just weaker versions of the kinds of stories he told elsewhere and fell HEAVILY into
Ant Man baffles me as while yes, his book was canceled.. they still had a WHOLE series to mine stories from with interesting visuals. He was still an avenger and he and jan played off each other decently when it didn't fall into Smilin Stan really not knowing how to write women.
SO I KINDA get it as Namor was more the default.. but it still felt like a weird choice given they didn't have mcuh to work with where he wasn't the villian and actively seemed to refuse to adapt any story where he was. IT was just an odd choice to pick someone who at the time was mostly an outright villian and most of whose character arc from that was in books they woudln't use.
So when you have to use WHATEVER you can, what do you do? Well if your this show.. you do something profoundly bonkers and hilarious.
The Actual Episode:
So.. this episode is a mighty marvel frankenstien's monster.
NO not him. He wasn't around yet. NO this episode is clumisly stitched together from two diffrent ff issues. Fantastic Four #6 and Fantastic Four Annual #4
The first makes sense as it features Namor teaming up with one of marvel's best villians who they apparently could use in both shows: Doctor Doom. They simply had to replace who his nemesis were. And that of course is where our futuraly uncanny x-men come in, simply slapped into the baxter building and given the ff's reputation and relationship fighting doom. Oddly they woudln't actually fight doom during the 60's like everyone else. Eventually though he did leading to this awesome cover
Granted FF writer at the time John Byrne didn't like the story because Doom was tricked by X-Men enemy and my boy arcade and tried to retcon it but that's a story for another day.
Point is the X-Men hadn't fought doom.. but given they were more generic superheroes at the time having them step into the ff's roll actually makes a lot of sense. And they even had some panels they could use from the x-mens series of them battling namor.
Yeah for some weird reason they decided instead to mash this story.. with FF Annual #4, the wedding of Sue Storm and Reed Richards. An issue that I haven't read but i'm bound to cover eventually for my annual February superhero wedding special
It is famous enough for me to have the gist though: Sue and Reed get married but this being a superhero comic, some action gets thrown in. In this case Dr. Doom decides to gift them EVERY SINGLE AVALIABLE SUPERVILLIAN in the marvel universe. That's not hyperbole. Pretty much every villian who could from street level guys to the big bads like Kang showed up to try and beat the shit out of the ff.. but this being the wedding of two public super heroes, every super hero in the marvel universe short of spidey (who didn't seem to show up, loner that he was). IT comes off at least from a distance as a big old celebration not just of the happy couple but of how much the marvel universe had grown.
As a result though the first half of this episode is just a lot of fighting and feels really disjointed esepcially once the ff #6 adaptation kicks in as there's never really any resolution to the "all the supervillians are given a subconcious signal to fuck with my arch enemy's wedding day. " part of the plot. Or here it's because the X-Men are getting a major award. Which is nice given how their usually treated.. but for some reason here their called "the alliance for peace".
Look if you had to rename the x-men, and why on earth would you even back then at their weakest, why not the peace patrol, the peace posse, Cyclops and those other 4, the Beast Brigade, the Merry Mutant Marching Society, Not-The Fantastic Four, The Fantastic Five, The Sesnational Six, Uncle Charlie's Funtime House Band, Scotty Dosen't Know, The Teen Angels, The Alps, The Marvels, The Recess Monkeys, Code Yellow, The Mutants, XX-Men, The New Justice Team, Fruit Punch, We Hate you Please Die, Hated and Feared, Diaper Time, Stars and Garters, or Suck it Erik? Did they only have 5 minutes? I did and I came up with all of that, so how.
At any rate the first few minutes is just a lot of fighting. Again they HAVE an issue with namor. I get not wanting ot use all of it: Wanda and Pietro were still in the brotherhood of evil mutants at the time and it was back when Magneto was less "one of the most complex, compelling and awesome characters ever" and more "Dollar Tree Doctor Doom". But you HAVE PANELS OF THESE CHARACTERS FIGHTING NAMOR
There's also some with beast. So there was more than enough to do that and still use bits from ff #4. Just have doom narrate he's having mole man attack them. Instead once the fighting stops most of the x-men vanish, widdling down to just xavier who, thanks to using the wedding panels, is in his best baby blue prom tuxedo.
Oh and instead of just angel and professor.. we also get the greatest of all x-men, king of kings. Hawkeye. Yes for no reason other than they could crop other characters out easier probably, Hawkeye shows up a lot in the second act and is implictly a member of the defenders of peace. So in this reality, playing Mephisto's Advocate, either Hawkeye's a mutant with super sharp aiming ablities, or Hawkeye came to the X-Men to tie one of them up to prove he could join them instead of the avengers and Xavier was like "Fuck it come on in bud."
The rest of the ep is.. fine. Namor is asked to team with dr doom, then is betrayed by doom. We do get some awesome over the top stuff as Dr. Doom needs to use the grabber to pull the x-baxter building into space. So namor SWATS MEOTRS AWAY then chases Dr. Doom and ethan hawke into space and somehow survivies. IT's the cheesy kind of fun I want
So yeah.. for a first x-men in animatoin apperance this is pretty bad. Their barely featured as a team, Jean hardly gets to do anything, and it's two stories that just don't work together welded together. We have to assume at the end new york just.. burnt to the ground because Dr. Doom left all the other super villians int he world on. Or like the actual story the watcher just said "Fuck this' and ended it. Either way it's a pretty bleh episode and even the weird as hell way the x-men are used dosen't give it much of a recomednation.
Thankfully next up in x-men month we have something a bit more fitting as it's time for one of the greatest x-men stories of all: God Loves, Man Kills. Thanks for reading.
#x-men#animation#namor the sub mariner#cyclops#ice man#jean grey#charles xavier#hank mccoy#beast#angel#warren worthington#bobby drake#doctor doom#victor von doom
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
TBHK THEORY
Okay I don’t know if anyone else thought of this before me but here’s my theory for the upcoming chapters.
So I was just re-reading chapter 65 and I thought, how and why does Natsuhiko know this?
Then I thought of something.
The theory that Sakura is a supernatural has been going around the fandom for quite some time as Tsukasa only grants wishes to the dead and Sakura was granted a wish from him that made her be his assistant.
So what if Sakura is the reason Natsuhiko knows this.
Say Sakura was on the brink of death and for a second or so she died, but during that time she was dead, she wished that she could keep on living for longer. Tsukasa could’ve heard that wish and decided to grant it, so for now she’s on the brink of death, only being kept alive for as long as Tsukasa can help her for.
But as Tsukasa can’t or won’t keep helping her forever, there’s another plan. Natsuhiko captures No.6 and either forces him to help, or takes his powers by killing him and eating his heart, then to use those powers to make Sakura live.
However as was hinted in chapter 90 (and due to that hint, theorized by the fandom), Kou has a similar goal.
Kou clearly wants to use No.6′s powers to bring Mitsuba back to life and to expand Yashiro’s life span too.
So if this is true then I believe this could be an explanation as to why we haven’t seen Mitsuba, Sakura, Tsukasa or Natsuhiko (not counting baby Tsu or the red house’s fake Mitsuba) since the severance.
It’s because they all (except Mitsuba) were waiting for No.6 to be defeated by Kou (not always speficially Kou, thats just currently now he’s defeating/has defeated No.6) so now in one of the next few chapters they can steal it’s power before Kou can. (Mitsuba probably doesn’t know about this plan but is with the other three as they wait)
There’s likely going to be a fight over who can take No.6′s powers.
While I believe that so long as Mitsuba and Nene can also be saved, Kou would be happy to help keep Sakura alive too, I feel like either Sakura and Natsuhiko wouldn’t trust him to help Sakura OR only one person can be saved and it’d lead to the decision of whether Mitsuba, Nene or Sakura should be allowed to live. Not to mention Teru, Akane and Aoi’s lives too or the chance Tsukasa will betray someone and try to take those powers for himself so he could revive either him, Amane or someone/something else.
After all we’re still not sure if Red House Tsukasa and the Tsukasa we know are the same or different, or where that plot will lead.
All in all I feel like there’s at least three people who want No.6′s power for either their own gain or to help someone who means a lot to them. If this is true then there will likely be a fight over that power within the next few chapters possibly with some betrayals and changing mindsets from everyone involved.
Thank you for reading!! If there’s anything you think I should add or that you want to correct me on then please let me know! :D
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk tsukasa#jshk kou#jshk nene#jshk mitsuba#jshk sakura#jshk no.6#jshk natsuhiko#tsukasa yugi#kou minamoto#yashiro nene#sousuke mitsuba#sakura nanamine#hyuuga natsuhiko#no.6#aoi akane#akane aoi#teru minamoto#hanako kun#amane yugi#tbhk theory#jshk theories
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feel like talking about art... I worry a lot that I've passed some kind of 'peak' in my art, not per se skillwise but productivity wise.
'I made a 65 page full colour full shading comic chapter and had it printed! Oh my god, I could never do that now', I think. But thankfully in this age I've seen this exact thing happen to so many artists slightly older than me... intense productivity in school, sudden drop in early 20's, figure shit out in late 20's. It makes sense, art was basically the only thing keeping me together for many of those productive years, and I was miserable.
And now, yeah, I'm back in a high stress environment, but this time I'm managing my own progress and am doing things I want to do on some level, that aren't art. Is it any wonder people go on massive hiatuses when theres no longer One Thing they want to do?
And well also. The classic. It is bonkers the amount of people I grew up admiring who crashed and burned in college and then get diagnosed with, well usually several things but especially ADHD. I'd like to think I'm "learning from other's """pitfalls"""" by nipping that revelation in the bud early (healthcare system tho... pls gimme anything... an appointment, maybe...) but I've been ruminating a long time on art advice and life advice and a lot of the time it's not possible to 'skip' on doing the 'wrong' thing.
So much art advice is like 'man i wish i learned anatomy or x thing when I was younger, so much time wasted' and yes it seems true in hindsight, learning anatomy is pivotal to my current art... but I think I had to *get* to a point art and well growing up wise where that was even something I could fully comprehend. Theres lots of things where, yeah, I'm sure sitting 12 year old me down and getting them excited about Bones and Muscles wasn't *impossible*, but there was like 100 mini lessons that have no names I had to learn first. It's like, a skill tree in a video game. You have to learn fireball I and II before great fireball IV or whatever. It's easy to say man, why didn't I learn Hard Thing sooner, I would have been so much better by now, when in order to be able for Hard Thing you had to learn all the smaller easier things it leads to. Going straight for the big guns isn't impossible, but you'll end up having to go backwards at some point. In fact I feel like that's what's happening to me now!
I'm like, why is my art shit conpared to a few years ago, why am I half-assing everything, and you know what I spent 5 years only doing full colour full shading stuff because that was The Inevitable Artistic Conclusion and doing Less would be Wasting My Time! And I think that was the right choice actually. *Because* it made me learn that thought process wasn't true.
Also ummm FFAK by kosmicdream who I am sheepishly not tagging basically rewrote my brain? A 6000+ and not even half finished comic drawn with maximum speed and not sweating the details? And its great? And at no point did I think the story was worse off for not being polished to 100% 'completion'? Preposterous!
Well, not really. Loads of comics are like that. I knew I didn't want to be like them. But hm, its a conscious choice now rather than a feeling of shame at not completing things. The reassurance that, it's okay to not finish things, and it's okay to do less in order to finish things. Balance. FFAK just really punched that lesson into my skull rather than the light jabs of comics I'd loved before. I can count the comics I read as a kid that actually *finished* on like, two hands max. I reevaluated, what do I want to be, perfect incompletion or finished imperfection. And chose both and neither because I'm a vile little contrarian.
Am I going to finish my comic? Finished doesn't exist, so no. Does that mean my tedious perfection is justified as long as the unfinished work is what I envisioned? Also no, because I am not the same person I was when I stopped lifting the pen and my idea of perfection is also always just out of reach. Also it's. A story. I want to tell it. Not look at it.
Like, just... do what you want. What you want will change, you can't put a box around it. But also develop discipline, because that box helps. It's always breaking and expanding and shrinking but the box has to be there. You have to try. But you won't succeed. And that's okay, because that's not the goal. It's a dance, not a house.
You might want to build a place to dance easier but you've gotta dance. And you suck at dancing but you love it. And if you don't love ot anymore, go work on the house until you want to again, and you'll think, why am I building this goddamn house instead of dancing, and you'll keep forgetting that the house exists to dance in. Then someday you come back off the scaffolding and realise, woah, holy shit, dancing here is going to be so much better.
And you think, why didn't I make the house like this in the first place? Well, because you only started building the house when you didn't want to dance, imagine if you made the house perfect, and then stopped liking dancing? Well you'd be me, you'd knock that house down, and you'd rebuild it all shit, because you didn't need the house to dance, you needed the process of building it. You can make that perfect house all the time, but you can only make a shit house once. No matter how you try, you're gonna figure out why the house is shit, and make it better.
And you'll say, why didn't I make this first before! I'm learning so much! And you'll remember why, it's because everyone said 'man, don't make a house like I made it. Look at my new house, its so much better, do that! I wasted so much time on the shit house!' But they didnt. They learned. You made their perfect house with no understanding of why it was perfect. You had to break it, to rebuild it, to retrace the steps, to learn.
#oh god I finally made my point#long post#does this make sense I dont know#hit post and maybe someone will get it but its okay if no one does its the process not the result
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
FAQs About Querying Manuscripts
Querying is a huge deal. You're about to send your latest story out to agents—and the entire process seems like a mystery.
I just posted a guide to writing query letters the other day, but there are many more questions you might have after reading a basic walkthrough.
Check out this FAQ list to see if addresses your query questions 👀 If not, feel free to send me an ask! I graduated with a specialty in the book publishing industry and will do my best to give you the most updated answers possible.
Do Query Letters All Look the Same?
Yes and no! I say yes because there is a general format you can follow (outlined on my last post) that inserts the same information in the same general paragraphs.
I also say no because agents won't have the same requirements for fiction, nonfiction, children's books, and graphic novels. It's always best to practice writing a query letter draft and always personalize your letter to the agent's specific requirements in their bio on their publisher's website or on Query Tracker.
Should I Query My Manuscript Even Though It Isn't Done?
Most agents want fiction manuscripts to be complete before they get your query letter. They'll only request the first 3-15 pages with your letter, but they'll mostly assume that your work is done after that point.
What does "done" mean? It means that your fiction manuscript averages between 65-85,000 words (100,000 words is the upper limit for many agents) and you've heavily edited your work. Go through your manuscript for story elements, character development, and line work before sending it anywhere. If agents spot inconsistencies or endless typos, they'll move onto the next submission.
Nonfiction manuscripts and other types of literature may have exceptions to this. Nonfiction authors can pitch proposals and sample chapters, plus outlines and chapter summaries. Graphic novel writers don't have to have all of the art finished sometimes. It depends on who you submit to, what you submit, and what the agent requires.
What Happens If I Send a Query With a Sample and Revise That Sample?
You can always withdraw a submission if you haven't heard back from an agent! Send a quick email stating the date and title of your manuscript and thank them for their time.
You can add why you're withdrawing if you'd like, but it's not necessary. People withdraw for a million reasons and agents know it's not personal.
Can I Re-Query an Agent If I've Made Revisions on the Same Manuscript?
Most often, no. Don't re-query an agent who has kindly declined your submission. The only exception to this is if they include a note in their rejection like, "While I cannot work with you at this time, I did appreciate [XYZ parts of your manuscript] and would be interested in working with you in the future if it met [the agent's genre list, publishing bucket list, specific things they're currently interested in selling]."
If you revise according to what the agent wanted from you in the future, then it would be fine to re-query and mention their previous recommendations at the top of your letter. Otherwise, it's best to move on.
How Many Query Letters Should I Send at One Time?
You may have seen stats that writers like to throw around regarding the percentage of positive query letter responses you should have compared to the total letters you've sent out.
Don't pay attention to that percentage.
When you're ready to query a manuscript, I prefer sending ~5 submissions per month. You can do more than that, but I find it takes so much brain power to personalize each letter and research agents!
That being said, if you send five letters and each of those agents say they take ~2 months to respond to each writer, you'll only get to send query letters six times each year. You also won't get a response from every agent, so there's no use waiting each one out before sending a new batch of letters.
Send a few and wait a few weeks. Send a few more. As long as you're keeping track of your queries in a spreadsheet (with the agent's name, publisher, the date of your submission, the type of submission, their contact info, and their average response time), you'll stay active in the process.
Can I Query Multiple Agents Within the Same Publisher?
Don't try this at home! Or anywhere! You'll rarely find a publisher that allows multiple submissions to their agents. Most explicitly warn against it on their website's submission outline page.
If an agent doesn't want to represent your work, but knows their coworkers well enough to think of someone in their office who might, they'll pass it along for you.
If you get a rejection from an agent, that's when you can query others in their office who represent the same genre. Waiting one at a time will take a while though, which is why it's better to query agents at multiple publishers when you sit down to query.
Do Agents Want a Long Publication History?
It helps if your query letter includes some kind of publication history, but it's not required. Especially if you're querying an agent who specifically encourages debut writers to send submissions. They know there will always be submissions from people who haven't been published before. That's okay!
Your publication history could include a recent short story contest or an entry into a chapbook from an indie publisher in your hometown. It could also be nothing at all. Agents rep writers with all kinds of backgrounds.
Just make sure you don't query an agent who mentions that they don't work with debut authors in their specifications if you've never been published. That's the only way it could backfire.
Should I Include a Sample of My Manuscript In My Query Letter?
Agents always ask for some kind of manuscript sample with submissions. Sometimes they want it copied/pasted into your query letter in the body of an email. Sometimes they use Query Tracker and the sample will have its own text box after you copy/paste your query letter.
Always check their submission guidelines before including your sample! Sometimes agents have samples limited by word count, while others want a specific number of pages.
Can I Follow Up If I Don't Hear Back From an Agent?
Sending a literary agent a gentle nudge can be a good thing, but only if you time it right. Double check their profile on their publisher's website, Query Tracker, or wherever you found them. Many will say something like, "It may take up to two months for me to respond." Others don't give a time frame at all.
If you're going to send a nudge, wait until their recommended response time has passed. Two to three months is a good time to estimate for those that don't provide response times.
When you send your email, make the title something like "Following Up on [Your Manuscript's Name Here] Submitted on [Submission Date]." In the body of the email, you can mention how you're still excited to hear from them and thank them for their time again.
Agents mostly don't mind nudges, as long as it's not a few days or weeks after you submit something to their inbox. They have incredibly busy lives and will need more time than writers often think.
Why Do Agents Reject Manuscript Submissions?
It's hard not to take a manuscript rejection personally, especially if an agent liked your submission and request the work in full! In those moments, try to keep in mind that there are tons of reasons why agents ultimately choose not to represent someone, including:
The query letter didn't hook them
Your story doesn't intrigue them (again, not personal!)
They don't represent that genre
They don't have the time to commit to a long project
They like it, but don't think it would sell in the current market (that's where book comps can help)
They also just may not think it's good. That's okay. You don't like every book you've ever read. Sometimes readers and writers just don't mesh. You want an agent who's equally passionate about your manuscript, if not more. Waiting for the right person to love your work will be worth it.
How Do You Pick Comparable Book Titles?
Comparable book titles are an essential part of a query letter. You should pick books published with the last ~two years in the same genre as your manuscript. Select at least two or three.
In your query letter, you'll have to mention each comp title and say why it's like your work. Maybe it shares the same themes or tropes. You should finish the comp title paragraph by saying that your work will appeal to the same audience, then specific the age groups you have in mind who are also fans of the comp titles.
When agents see writers compare their work to successful, recent publications, they see a potential to make a sale. Their job is to sell your work to a publisher, who then sells your books to readers. It helps them if they can tell publishers about your flashy comp titles that make your story more likely to sell because readers are currently interested in those topics/characters/tropes/etc.
What's the Difference Between Querying an Agent and a Publisher?
Query letters can go to agents and publishers, but there's a big difference between the two. Agents personally get to know their clients and represent them long-term. Agents also negotiate your publishing contract and potentially any future international books/films/TV series if that's in their repertoire.
If a publisher picks up your submission, you'll have to negotiate everything for yourself. You'll likely have to get a lawyer, who will also likely be more costly than a literary agent, who takes a percentage of your advance and royalties.
Sometimes it's easier for writers to go with one option or another, so think about what sounds best for you.
Note that many publishers, especially The Big Five, rarely take unsolicited manuscripts (submissions from writers). Agents allow writer queries so they can meet future clients. Publishers prefer to meet with agents, who will pitch writers/manuscripts that align with a publisher's interests.
---
The most challenging part of querying is how flexible it is. Agents will all look for and require something a bit different than the others. Writers won't have the same querying experience either.
Take these questions/answers as a guideline to help you get started or find your motivation again! As you move forward, you'll become much more comfortable with the process.
#writeblr#query help#querying advice#querying tips#writers of tumblr#writing#writing advice#writing help#writing community#writers#creative writing#query#query faqs#book publishing#book publishing faqs
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
I posted 311 times in 2022
That's 233 more posts than 2021!
37 posts created (12%)
274 posts reblogged (88%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@slayhousehightower
@cuttingedgeinc
@catelynhightower
@alicentdeservesbetter
@ewansmitchells
I tagged 307 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#house of the dragon - 107 posts
#aemond targaryen - 78 posts
#alicent hightower - 54 posts
#asoiaf - 36 posts
#aegon ii targaryen - 34 posts
#aemond targaryen x reader - 20 posts
#lana del rey - 18 posts
#self reblog - 16 posts
#answered - 11 posts
#criston cole - 11 posts
Longest Tag: 65 characters
#grrm knew that the half targs were going to be too good at ruling
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
The Pretender - Masterlist
Summary: You are the spitting image of a Lady of the Reach, when she framed you for a crime you did not commit you become her and marry her betrothed, Prince Aemond Targaryen.
Chapter l
Chapter ll
Chapter lll
Chapter lV
Main Masterlist
370 notes - Posted October 30, 2022
#4
Cherry
A/N: I took inspiration from Lana Del Rey’s song called Cherry, I hope you guys like it. The fic is a little out there, but I love AUs and I don’t think I’ve seen one of those around. (If you know any, send them my way. I’d love to read other AUs with our favourite momma’s boy.) Please let me know what you think, as I said it’s kinda out there, even if it’s to tell me that it’s sucked lol.
Summary: You were obsessed with your History Professor, what you didn’t know was that he was obsessed with you as well.
Professor!Aemond Targaryen x Reader (Modern AU)
Word Count: 5.3K
Warnings: smut, power imbalance (?), dub con (but not really?), unprotected sex (I mean it’s a fic, don’t do this IRL), a bit of angst and fluff, Minors DNI.
Tag List: @aemonds-war-crime.
Masterlist
His voice was angelic, nothing could distract you from him. Professor Aemond was your history professor, Roman history was his field. You didn't need to be here, you were in STEM but you love History so you took it as an elective. It was so wrong, but you were lusting after your History Professor. You remember clear as day the first day you saw him.
You were excited about your history lesson, Roman history fascinated you that’s why you were sitting on the first row you couldn’t wait for this. There was only you and another boy in the class, which was about to start in 20 minutes. You decided to begin to do your homework from one of your classes, it was easy enough, you’d never admit that to anyone else but you were one of the smartest people in the university.
People started coming in but you paid no mind, you were in the zone and your homework was almost finished. You didn't realize that the Professor just came through the door, your pen was in your mouth and your brows were furrowed in concentration. The Professor noticed you, wearing a short skirt, tights and a turtleneck, you looked delicious but Aemond had a reputation to uphold. He was in front of you now but you didn't notice it, everyone was now looking at you.
You heard laughter from the people that shared your class, you looked up and you saw who you assumed was the Professor, he was wearing all black and he had an eye patch and scar which made him look sexy. His face was as if it was carved by God himself, his hands were behind his back and his facial expression was stern, you quickly sat up straight and closed your laptop. He kept looking at you which you only could as contempt for a few more seconds and went back to his desk.
“I am Professor Aemond Targaryen, to simply put any potential rumours at rest,” He pointed at the eye patch. “This was an unfortunate hunting accident with my nephew Luke, and my eye could not be saved.” Aemond preferred to get the story out of the way because he knew how students can get curious. “Now let’s start the class.”
The class went smoothly after that, and you were sure that his voice was going to be ingrained in your mind, it was smooth and sultry. Professor Aemond looked at you every ten minutes, not enough to raise suspicions but enough to make you aware that you were being watched. Aemond was a great professor, he didn't like to brag but it was true.
It was almost time for the class to be finished, everyone was getting their belongings in their bags, including you. That’s when Aemond decided to speak.
“I must speak with you, Miss.” His voice was stern, it left no room for argument. Your classmates were snickering and feeling sorry for you, after everyone else left you went to his table.
“I do not appreciate that kind of dismissive behaviour in my class, miss?” You said your full name and Aemond appreciated the sound of your voice.
“I apologise, Professor. I was twenty minutes early, so I decided to finish one of my assignments but I’ll take this class very seriously.” Aemond simply hummed and dismissed you with his hand, you went back to your seat and he appreciated the sway of your hips, you hurried out of class.
You were roommates with a girl called Ellie, she was a sophomore while you were a junior. It was a bit unsettling how much she knew about everyone’s lives, it was as if she had eyes everywhere. If a professor had issues either with family, or drugs she knew about it. It wasn’t a surprise when you were back to your dorm, she already knew that you had a mishap with professor Aemond.
“What did you do? What did the professor hottie say?” To be completely honest you were surprised that she didn't know what the two of you talked about.
“I got in the zone and didn't see him come in, she got angry and wanted to talk to me.” Ellie knew how you could get when you were concentrated, she never met anyone as dedicated as you to your studies. You didn't drink, you didn't party, your parents were poor, and you were on a scholarship you couldn’t afford a mistake, unlike Ellie.
“Be careful next time, he has a reputation.” Her statement confused you.
“What reputation?”
“He doesn’t forgive mistakes, of any kind. If you mess up in his class you are out, I’m surprised that you’re still allowed.” Ellie was eyeing you suspiciously, she hasn’t known you that long so her opinion of you wasn’t formed yet.
“He didn't say that I could come back.” Now you were worried, even though you didn't need to take this class, you loved Roman History it’d be awful to be kicked out for an innocent mistake.
“HA! Trust me, he would make it clear that you were out of his class. People say that he loves making his students squirm and cry more than anything.” Ellie left you, she needed to go meet with her boyfriend.
You didn't get that impression from the professor, sure he was stern but he wasn’t mean to anyone. You decided to not let Ellie’s words taint professor Aemond in your mind, you were going to make your judgement of him. Looking at the clock you realised that you were late for your next class.
__________________________________________
Your next History class was the next week, and your mind was plagued with thoughts of your mysterious professor, his voice was in your dreams as well as himself.
See the full post
422 notes - Posted November 6, 2022
#3
The Pretender - Chapter l
A/N: So Aemond inspired me to write again, hope you guys like it and please let me know if I should do more of this story. Feedback is greatly appreciated, even if it’s to say that it sucks LOL.
Summary: You are the spitting image of a Lady of the Reach, when she framed you for a crime you did not commit you become her and marry her betrothed, Prince Aemond Targaryen.
Aemond Targaryen x Reader
Word Count: 4.2k
Warnings: Violence, let me know if there’s anything else.
Tag List: @aemonds-war-crime
The Pretender Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Life at your grandparents’ farm wasn’t easy, but it was all you knew. Waking up before the sun, milking the cows, taking take of the sheep, making sure the crops were growing properly, cleaning the chicken coop, everything that your grandparents couldn’t do. There was one thing that you loved more than anything, and that was horses, your family didn't have the money for one, so you tried to find wild horses, they were fearless and dangerous but you were able taim most of them.
A horse that hasn’t left your side since you were only thirteen was a black horse, he was a beauty, he always found you, having a domestic side but always wild at heart. You named him Arrow, due to the fact that he’s so quick, always has been. Arrow always found his way back to you, and he loved you and you loved him, you didn't have enough money for a saddle, so you rode him bareback.
After your chores you went to find Arrow, it was a freeing feeling being able to ride on his back, being tired didn't matter, worrying about what to do after your grandparents die, being tired after a long day at the farm, none of that matters when you’re with Arrow.
You were whistling, looking for Arrow in a field the grass was tall the sun was almost setting and you saw him, he was eating. You approached him, and he looked at you, the bond was strong between the two of you.
“I’ve missed you, Arrow.” You put your head on his, and he neighed you’d like to think that he missed you as well. “Let’s ride.” You jumped on his back, you tried to care for him, brushing his hair but he always came back more wild than before.
You always let Arrow decide where to take you, he knew the Reach quite well and took you to so many different and exciting places. You held on tight to his hair and he went. You closed your eyes, and the wind on your face was incredible, sometimes you wished to be like Arrow, being attached to nowhere.
Arrow stopped by a river, and you came off of him and started drinking water off the river. The sun was setting so you started thinking about coming back home. You started touching Arrow, you wished that he would come home with you but you loved him too much to sentence him to such a cruel fate, he was free. You heard hustling from the trees, you decided to leave. But it was too late, a couple appeared from the forest.
The man had to be a knight, and the woman was wearing an incredible purple dress, she looked absolutely amazing. The man looked angry, drawing his sword.
“Who are you?” He screamed, his sword was pointed at you. Arrow was getting scared, but you were able to calm him down.
“My love, she’s simply a farmer girl. She has no idea who we are.” You were avoiding looking at them, you wanted no trouble with the noble people.
The Lady approached you, you took a step back. She did not like that, she grabbed your jaw rather forcefully. You looked at her, you couldn’t believe it she looked exactly like you and she had a surprised face, the same as you.
“By the gods, you look exactly like me. If you weren’t so dirty and a peasant, you could be a pretender.” The Lady finally released your jaw, it hurt so much. “Have you lost your voice, peasant?” She was rude, and you did not like her one bit.
“I do, you haven’t asked anything before, m’lady.” She hit you, hard. You knew there would a bruise tomorrow, why did she do this? You almost fell, but you got your footing before that.
“Do not talk back, peasant.” Her words held so much venom, you hated the royals so much. “I simply had the most extraordinary idea. I will go to Braavos with William and you shall marry the one-eyed monstrosity in Kings Landing.” The knight, William you assumed finally approached the two of you. Your face held nothing but confusion, you pretending to be her?
“That would never work, this peasant doesn’t know how to behave, how to read.” William held contempt for you, but his voice had a tinge of pity.
“It will work, we will teach her everything. She shall become a Lady of House Oxwell, she shall become me.” You knew that name, her family was the richest in all of Westeros, richer than the Lannisters, they say.
“No.” You simply stated, you didn't want to become her, you wanted to be truly free like Arrow, you wanted nothing in your name, you craved freedom, you craved being away from the farm, you craved peace, you craved the wind on your hair.
“No, how dare you…” William started drawing his sword again, but the Lady stopped him.
“Most peasants would kill for an opportunity such as this, why do you refuse? Being adorned with the finest jewellery, touching only the finest silk, eating only the best meats? What do you truly desire?” Her line of questioning was uncomfortable, she wanted you to say things that you never told anyone before, of the deepest desire within your soul.
“I wish to be free, I wish to take my horse and ride him through the seven Kingdoms.” You uttered the words, finally. A weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
“Do you have a name?” It was as if she completely ignored your words.
See the full post
427 notes - Posted October 22, 2022
#2
Nectar of The Gods
A/N: I was kinda inspired by the goddess herself, Lana Del Rey. It’s not required to listen to the song Nectar of The Gods, but if you want to you can.
Summary: Your parents want power, what could be better than marrying you to the future King?
Aemond Targeryen x Reader
Word Count: 4.3k
Warnings: Angst, smut, slight Dom!Aemond, death, let me know if there’s anything else that I missed.
Tag List: @aemonds-war-crime
Masterlist
He was obnoxious, he was the first-born son of the King and you hated him with all of your heart. Your House was one of the richest of all of Westeros, so marriage proposals were coming left and right. But your parents are ambitious, they have money but now they want power. Since you are the only daughter, you are simply a political pawn being sold off to the highest bidder.
And who’s higher than the next in line to the throne, according to the greens? You were living in the Red Keep for years, and you were best friends with Haleana. There was a Prince that you were fond of already, Aemond. He was the man that you wanted to marry, he was the man of your dreams.
Aemond loves you and you love him, with all your heart. Ever since you were children you dreamed of marriage, his mother promised that the two of you would be together but no formal betrothal was initiated. But that didn't matter, he was yours and you were his. The worst day of your life was when Aemond lost his eye, you even yelled at the King for his callousness. That evening was the first time the two of you kissed, when you got older Aemond didn't take your maidenhood, you remember the day vividly.
“I want you, Aemond. Please, take me.” He was trying to control himself so much, having you in his bed begging for him was more than he could handle.
“Only on your wedding night, my love. I shall claim you as my wife, lover. The same as I have done to your heart and soul.” His hair was down, with no eye patch sapphire glimmering against the moonlight.
“I can’t wait.” The two of you slept peacefully after that, dreaming of your wedding day.
Aegon lusted after you, but he never acted on it due to the fact that he would face his brother’s wrath. You couldn’t stand being in the same room as him, he mistreated Haleana so much, but thankfully she left Kings Landing to marry a Lannister. She often sent letters, saying how happy she was, and how much her children were growing. Aegon remained unwed, the same as Aemond.
One day your parents sent a raven, saying that were coming to Kings Landing and organising your wedding to the Prince. You couldn’t be happier, you quickly ran towards Aemond’s chambers, you didn't even need to look where you were going, your feet knew where to take you.
“My love, my father wrote to me.” Aemond has never seen you so excited to receive any news from your family, you resented them so much.
“Pray tell what your detestable father has shared to put you in such high spirits?” Aemond kissed you tenderly, the only person that he truly loves flaws and all.
“They are coming to put our wedding in motion.” You jumped on him, wrapping your legs around his waist. You couldn’t be happier, you were finally going to become Aemond’s.
“That makes me happy.” Aemond whispered to you, he was a bit worried about your parents coming he didn't have a good feeling about it.
But Aemond could never crush your happiness with his worries, so he held you close and prayed to the gods that your parents would marry the two of you. You belonged together, it didn't matter if your father thought otherwise, you will be his forever.
__________________________________________
Your parents’ carriage was coming, you were next to Aemond as usual. The Queen was unusually quiet, which worried Aemond. Aegon was nowhere to be found, and that’s when Aemond knew what was happening. When he looked at you, he saw the pure happiness on your face and he couldn’t tell you. He never wanted to crush your hopes, you should have that happiness for a few more moments.
Your father and mother left the carriage, and you ran towards them. You always knew that your parents didn't like you as much as your brothers, but now all the comments, all the belittling, the name-calling, it was all worth it, you were going to marry Aemond, the love of your life.
“Father, this is the happiest occasion.” You hugged him, you didn't hug your father often but you were happy that you were finally going to become Aemond’s.
“It is satisfactory that you are grateful for your betrothal, Prince Aegon.” You stopped hugging your father immediately.
“Not Aegon father, Aemond.” You wanted to believe that your father made a mistake, an innocent mistake.
“No, you shall be Queen.” He harshly said, you couldn’t believe what he was saying.
You looked at Aemond he was just as sad as you were, but he could hide it much better than you. Turning around and fleeing to your chambers whilst your parents called for you, it was cruel so incredibly cruel. They knew how much you loved Aemond and yet, they were going to make you marry Aegon. You started to sob uncontrollably, you had no idea how long you cried, but eventually, you fell asleep.
See the full post
539 notes - Posted October 30, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
His Darling Wife
Summary: When Aemond’s lover threatens your family, you flee from your husband.
Aemond x Reader
Word Count: 3.1k
Warnings: Violence, angst.
Tag List: @aemonds-war-crime
Masterlist
You’ve been married to the Targaryen Prince for almost a year now, you’re from a smaller House in the Reach, you have three brothers, and you are the youngest. Your mother is from Pentos, her family has a fortune so now your family has a lot of influence in Westeros. When your father told you that the King and Queen wanted you to marry their youngest son you didn't know what to think. But you and Aemond were able to become fast friends and with time, to love each other.
Even with the love you feel for one another you haven’t been able to conceive, that wasn’t entirely true, you had two pregnancies that ended in short of a month, and the Maester told you that it would take a while to fall pregnant again. But he was wrong because you were now pregnant a third time. You decided not to tell the Maester or Aemond for that matter.
“My love.” Aemond spoke coming to your chambers, you were getting ready for dinner with the Queen and Princess Heleana, you adored their company and they did yours.
“Where were you, my prince?” You turned to look at Aemond, you loved calling him ‘your prince’, and he loved hearing you say it.
“My brother has requested something of me, he and Heleana are to be married and he wants me to get the best wine in all of Essos, to give her as a gift.” You looked at Aemond incredulously.
“Aegon asked you to do that?” You snickered, there wasn’t a single bone in Aegon’s body to make him so considerate.
“It was a strange phenomenon, I was talking to my brother but I could only hear my mother.” You got up from the chair you were sitting, happy with your appearance. You came closer to Aemond and put your hand on his face, he leaned into your touch.
“Then you should go, anything to make your sister happy.” Aemond smiled at your statement, he loved the fact that you loved his sister.
“I’ll return in a fortnight, maybe less.” It was his turn to kiss you and it always took your breath away, you thanked the gods every day for having Aemond as your husband.
“Come back to me, my love.” Aemond caressed your face, he never tired to look at your beauty.
“I always do.” He left your chambers and you went to meet with the Queen and the Princess.
It didn't take long to get to the Queen’s chambers, you were wearing a green dress that the Queen gifted you, it was so pretty and comfortable. Ser Criston Cole opened the doors for you, and Heleana was the first to see you, she ran to you and hugged you tightly, and you hugged her back.
“I missed you, Y/N.” She mused, you smiled at her sweetness.
“We’ve seen each other at breakfast, Heleana.”
“Still too long, come sit.” The princess dragged you and you sat down in front of Queen Alicent, even knowing that she likes you and even pushed for your marriage with Aemond, she still intimidated you, she was the Queen after all.
“How are you, Y/N? Are you excited about your mother’s visit?” Alicent reached your hand and squeezed gently, with a genuine smile on her face.
“Very, I miss her dearly.” One of your brothers was on the Kinguards as well so your mother was able to come to Kings Landing more times throughout the year.
“At what time does she arrive?” Healena inquired, she also really liked your mother. Your mother shared her fascination with spiders, the same as the Princess.
“She won’t be long, I believe at dawn.” You smiled at the Princess’ reaction, she was clapping excitingly.
The dinner was nice, you and the Queen talked about many different subjects while Heleana was playing with her animals. After a couple of hours, you retired to your chambers, you knew the nights without Aemond would be long, sleeping without him made you restless. But you were able to sleep, not well but you did. The first rays of sunshine were peeking through your window, you heard the servants entering your chambers, this part of the morning was your favourite, especially with your mother coming.
You were ready for the day when the Maester came into your chambers, it was unusual for him to appear in your chambers, but you saw a scroll in his hand.
“A raven came for you in the night, my Princess.” He bowed and gave the scroll to you.
“Thank you, Maester.” He left you with the servants after that.
See the full post
1,585 notes - Posted October 23, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#tumblr2022#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#false#i love this so much
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yesterday someone said something to me that has really stuck with me and I feel like I need to ramble about it a little bit here.
We were talking about books during a slow period at work and I was told by a coworker that it’s “weird” for me to call myself a “book nerd” if I “don’t want to read anything sad.” Which is just a very weird and condescending thing to say to someone, I think.
Naturally, I have thoughts about this.
First of all, I can and do read some really heavy books. What matters to me is if things end well for the characters. By all means, put those characters through all seven levels of hell, but you had better fucking bring them back and make that torment worth it. I can send myself down the path of darkness if I know there is a light at the end.
For example, I recently read TJ Klune’s Under the Whispering Door. There were multiple points at which I put that book down in the middle of a chapter and walked away. I also cried. Twice. But I also knew I could trust the author because I’d read a couple of his other books in the past (and his mastery of comic relief helps immensely). I may also have a really weird habit of skimming the end of a book after reading the first chapter. I had a teacher once who did that with the books she read out loud in class and I took to it I guess? It took me a month to finish reading, but I did, and rated it fairly highly.
Plus there’s the fact that I read a lot of non-fiction. In case you haven’t noticed, studying history isn’t all fun and joy. Especially when I focus on the everyday people impacted by historical happenings. Yeah, there are plenty of silly, funny, ridiculous things in history, but most of what I’m reading about isn’t.
Reading is my escape. This world is fucked up and heavy enough, and I have been dealing with depression and other mental health struggles for the last 15 years of my life. I read to go somewhere else, to live someone else’s life and adventures. I read to find some goddamn peace.
There are currently 65 books on my virtual TBR (actually a “to be purchased” list because I can’t afford to buy everything I want to read the moment I learn about it, I just use StoryGraph’s TBR function to keep track of them all), and 17 in my physical TBR in my living room, plus 2 on pre-order being released in March. I barely have time to read my usual 50 books a year, and I add to my TBR at least a couple times a month.
Why would I make time to read things that don’t make me happy? Why should I subject my mental health to things that cause me pain? I’m not going to.
The same thing is true of my writing. Does my historical fiction take place during a really terrible point in history? You bet. But I’m not going to kill off love interests or close family and friends just because it is something that happened to a lot of people during the period (unless it happens really early on). Originally I was going to kill Nat’s brother in Let it Begin Here, but then I wanted that connection and closure that Nat gets in the end. I thought briefly about killing off Asher in Where Cannons Roar in a big heroic scene, but then I liked him too much. And in Book 3, Treasonable Practices, I was originally going to kill my main character’s father to move the plot forward, but then I couldn’t do that to either of them.
The point is, characters can go through hell, and take the reader with them, and still be okay. Why are we assigning literary merit to something just because it hurts us?
It’s okay not to want to read books that don’t end happily. It’s okay if you want to read those kinds of books all the time. What’s not okay is judging each other for what we do and don’t read.
As long as you aren’t giving money to really awful authors who do terrible things with their royalty checks, read whatever the fuck you want - and in whatever format you want, but that’s a whole other discussion.
#yes audio books count as reading and to say they don't is ableist#that's all i'm going to say on that#that's a different conversation#just enjoy books#LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS#this is why i read a lot of romance#i know everything will be okay in the end#but not straight romance#there is too much toxicity and abuse in that genre#queer romance is so much better#most of the time#anyway#rev's rambles#rev's reading rambles
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Building a Character” Stanislavski.
(como siempre, la traducción al español después del gif separador):
To many theatre fans, Stanislavski is the maximum authority. I don’t think so because I feel that his students and his students’ students are way better than him. However, we cannot forget his ideas are the origin of many theater rules. Besides, he says we don’t need to follow his truth, but be our truth, so he gets an A on propper thinking. Stanislavski had a therapist complex or maybe theater has always been therapy?
As in many of his books, the techniques he shows are presented through the eyes of his (invented) students when they start rehearsing for Tortsov (his alter ego) while listening to his madness. Therefore, we follow Kostya’s point of view throughout the chapters:
Towards a Physical Characterization
My favourite thing of this chapter was when I was reading it, since I found strength to fight many fears of that time. I had just started my training in textual interpretation and voice over, but sadly we were on the middle of the pandemic, when we could go outside but… not that much, you know. Back then, the masking thing made me sad, because I thought many beautiful emotions were lost in the process. However, I am so thankful for my acting training and this book, since “the eyes hold all of your personality” (33) as Stanislavski says, as my teacher said and now as I say.
The general content of this chapter is quite interesting as well. By observing the world, you can build the external characterization. Your experiences, or your friends’, or even observing a painting. The only rule is that when you are observing you must never loose your inner self (37). To sum up, observe the world and use it to your own profit, but never became a copy of somebody else. Sounds cool.
Dressing a Character
Kostya panics when his group has to prepare a masquerade. He doesn’t know how to dress, what makeup he shall use, nothing. He doesn’t know who he wants to be. The beauty of this chapter appears when he gets out of that loop and lets go. He becomes an external observer of himself and most importantly he enjoys playing with dresses, makeup, etc until he finally builds up his character. Dressing the character up becomes such a natural activity because he becomes his character, but he doesn’t lose himself in the process. In other words, you can find the character in one of your truths. That is why it is so important to get to know yourself. That is why theater is so addictive. It's a wonderful search
Characters and Types
The best of this chapter is Torstov sassiness. Think about it for a second: how would you play an old character? Cracked back and glasses on their big noses, right? And an aristocrat? Egocentric and haughty. Right?
Okay but, is that deep enough? Those ideas are only cliches, they don’t hold the essence of the character and are not individualized (60). You need to dig deep down to find the real meaning of each character. So, forget about archetypes, since they feel like insults.
Besides, he mocks some actors that think they don’t need to prepare because their characterizations are just their own charm (54), although he also reminds us that it is beautiful to show our features, good or bad, not hide them behind a handsome image (65). Why I understood from this is that the mask we use on stage (whether tangible or mental) is nothing else but a tool to explore our long forgotten emotions. Kostya, for instance, was able to play “The Critic”. He is not grumpy nor arrogant, but we all feel those emotions sometimes, and throughout that character he had the opportunity to explore them from outside.
Making the Body Expressive
No gesture in acting is accidental (84) and that is the key of this chapter. Torstov gives the example of ballet dancers. They adopt unnatural postures trying to find beauty. However, that is not acting. It has to be natural and it has to make sense.
On the other hand, he encourages us to explore other disciplines to take care of our body. From ballet itself, learning how to use the fifth position or learning the bar splits can actually relocate your hips and improve your equilibrium, etc. Same for everything else really: strength exercises for your control and equilibrium, cardio for your resistance and breathing and finally a healthy diet and somehow abundant to give you enough energy for the day. In other words, your body is your instrument, not only in acting but also in life. To the extent of your possibilities, take care of it!
Plasticity of Motion
The author decides to mock us directly: we don’t know how to walk! (93). Well, he is right though. I have uneven hips and flat feet, of course I don’t know how to walk! But nobody really knows, as funny as it might sound, because nobody really cares. However, while acting, every movement has its reaction towards another movement, forever. Torstov makes his students imagine a mercury ball running through their bodies, thus they have to keep it away from the ground. It reminds me of tai chi, it would be nice to practice it a little!
Restraint and control
Emotions do not always need to be fully expressed. In fact, restrained emotions are quite normal. For example, if someone is immersed in a terrifying drama, something out of their control, tears are going to drown them, their voice is going to crack or they might even get paralized. After time, they find a way to express themselves.
Diction and Singing
This chapter analyses the qualities of vowels and consonants, and demonstrates the use of singing to explore and expand the vocal range. I will definitely explore this in other posts.
Tone and pauses
Key to this chapter is the importance of subtext in the delivery of lines. For instance, the word “love” might mean nothing to a non english speaker, but fuelled with emotion, used in a precise context, its meaning is endless, and they do not even need to know the language to understand it.
Funnily enough, this is very much related to the dramatic pause, and that reminds me of the best example…
Accentuation: the expressive word
Torstov emphasizes that reproducing a text or transmitting an emotion are not the main goals of an actor. Those words and emotions must provoke something, or nothing you’ll do would ever make sense. He advices to talk to the eyes, not to the ears of our scene partner. And that, outside fancy explanations, is a great tip if you are working on stage. You need to know how to react to your partner, whatever happens.
Perspective in character building
When a character is in development, there are two points of view: one of the character an one of the actor. This is crucial to understand. The actor knows what is going to happen with the character, but the character cannot know its future. Even though their actions move them towards the final goal and thus the actor must remember that future accordingly, the actor cannot allow the character to move knowing what is going to happen next. It wouldn’t be realistic.
Tempo and rhythm in movement
No comments on this section since I am going to develop these ideas further in other posts.
Speech tempo and rhythm
No comments on this section since I am going to develop these ideas further in other posts. (To be honest, I actually got bored, but shhh)
Stage Charm
My favourite part of this chapter was the difference between two types of people on this dramatic world: The pretty ones and the hidden ones. I think we can sum up the first with that typical “never meet your idols” thing. An actor of this short can do whatever they like, even being a bad actor. Their charm is in what they are selling to their fans, not the character they are playing. And when their physical beauty fades or their true intentions are shown, fans get truly disappointed. The second one is not the goal of a good actor either. They can be charming with masks and makeups and amazing dresses and more, but what remains underneath of it all?
Towards an Ethic for Theater
I created a list before with the general advice from this chapter and some more I want to add, but here is a summary: respect, respect and respect. Respect your peers, the text, the final goal, the techs, the audience, the punctuality, the half broken chair. EVERYTHING.
From the conscious to the unconscious. + Advice.
Those two kinda sum up the whole book. The last one seems to be gathering all the main ideas but the one before is quite interesting: Torstov asks his students to organize his teachings in a hierarchical order. Careful, it is a tricky question!
\\
What do you think it is the most important teaching?
If anything I’m sharing is of your interest or helps you out, do you perhaps want to buy me a coffee? You can do it in the kofi banner on my blog or directly in paypal.me/elenjaxxms. Only if you can and want to do it.
Thank you so much and see you next time!
_______________________________________________________
“Construcción del Personaje” Stanislavski.
Para muchos fanáticos del teatro, Stanislavski es la autoridad. Yo no lo creo así, ya que tengo la sensación de que sus estudiantes, y los estudiantes de sus estudiantes, le dan mil vueltas. Pero no podemos dudar que es el orígen de muchas reglas en el mundo del teatro. Además, él mismo dice que no hay que decir su verdad, sino nuestra verdad, y se lleva un diez por mi parte. ¿Stainislavski tenía complejo de psicólogo o es que en realidad el teatro siempre ha sido terapia?.
Como en la mayoría de sus libros, las técnicas e ideas que nos propone las descubrimos siguiendo la historia de sus estudiantes (inventados) cuando van a los ensayos de Tortsov (su alterego) y escuchan sus locuras. Seguimos por tanto los pensamientos de Kostya por cada uno de estos capítulos:
Hacia una caracterización física
Lo que más me gustó de este capítulo fueron las circunstancias en las que lo leí, porque el libro me hizo aprender a enfrentarme a ellas. Había comenzado mis estudios de interpretación textual poco después de que abrieran las puertas con la pandemia, cuando todavía existía gente preocupada de verdad que usaba mascarillas de verdad. Por aquel entonces, me ponía un poco triste, porque se escondían gestos y emociones preciosas tras las mascarillas, así que agradezco cada día el haber empezado a estudiar interpretación en esta época. “Los ojos pueden expresar toda la personalidad” (33), dice Stanislavski, y dice mi profe, y ahora también lo digo yo.
El contenido general del capítulo es también bastante interesante. La caracterización externa de los personajes se hace observando el mundo. Se extrae de tu experiencia vital, o la de tus amigos, o incluso la extraes observando un cuadro. La única condición es que cuando se esté llevando esa investigación externa, no perdamos nuestro yo interior (37). En resumen, observa el mundo y utilízalo en tu beneficio pero no seas una copia. Suena bien.
Vistiendo un personaje
Aquí Kostya se desespera cuando el grupo tiene que preparar una mascarada. No sabe qué llevar, con qué maquillarse, ni nada. No sabe quién quiere ser. Lo bonito de este capítulo es cuando sale del bucle de la desesperación y se deja llevar. Se convierte en un observador externo de sí mismo y lo más importante, disfruta jugando con los disfraces, maquillajes, etc, hasta que construye su personaje. Vestirlo se convierte en un ejercicio muy natural ya que es una simbiosis con él, pero sin perderse. En otras palabras, sacas al personaje de una de tus verdades. Por eso es tan importante conocerse a uno mismo. Y por eso mucha gente se engancha al teatro. Es una búsqueda preciosa.
Personajes y tipos
Lo mejor sin duda de este capítulo es esa pequeña bofetada que Torstov da a los lectores. Pensad por un momento: ¿cómo interpretaríais a un anciano? Con la espalda corvada o las gafas en la nariz. ¿Y a un aristócrata? Altanero y egocéntrico, ¿a que sí?
Bien, ¿y qué profundidad tiene eso? Son sólo clichés, no contienen la esencia del personaje ni están individualizados (60). Hay que escarbar mucho más para encontrar la verdadera definición de cada personaje. Olvidémonos de arquetipos, eso resulta insultante.
Además, también tiene para los personajes que somos nosotros mismos. Regaña a algunos actores, que no sienten la necesidad de preparar caracterizaciones porque adaptan sus papeles a su atractivo personal (54), pero nos recuerda que lo verdaderamente bonito es mostrar nuestros rasgos, buenos y malos, sin ocultarnos detrás de una imagen (65). Lo que yo entiendo de esto es que la máscara que nos pongamos en escena (sea real o una caracterización más mental), no es más que una herramienta para ayudarnos a explorar algunas de nuestras emociones más olvidadas. Kostya, por ejemplo, pudo sacar al “crítico”. Él no es arrogante ni gruñón, pero todos tenemos esas emociones en algún momento, y la caracterización del personaje le permitió explorarlas desde dentro y observarlas desde fuera.
Haciendo el cuerpo expresivo
Al actuar no debe hacerse ningún gesto porque sí (84), esa es la clave del capítulo. Pone por ejemplo a los bailarines de ballet. Adoptan posturas poco naturales intentando buscar una gran belleza. Sin embargo, eso no es actuar. Tiene que ser natural, sí, pero tiene que tener sentido.
Por otro lado, nos anima a explorar varias disciplinas para cuidar nuestro cuerpo. Del ballet mismo, por ejemplo, aprender a andar en quintas o hacer los splits en barra ayudan a colocar la cadera, proporcionan equilibrio, etc. Lo mismo para todo lo demás, hacer entrenamientos de fuerza ayudan al control y al equilibrio; los de cardio mejoran tu resistencia y educan tu respiración; y finalmente una dieta sana y medianamente abundante nos proporciona la energía que necesitamos. En otras palabras, el cuerpo es el instrumento del actor. Y, por mi parte, creo que deberíamos añadir aquí que el cuerpo es el instrumento de todo el mundo. Hasta donde podamos llegar, debemos cuidarlo.
Plasticidad de movimiento
Aquí el autor decide burlarse de todos nosotros. ¡¡No sabemos andar!! (93). No lo niego. Tengo la cadera desigual y los pies planos, claro que no sé andar!!! La gracia es que nadie sabe, porque nadie se fija. Pero, al actuar, cada movimiento tiene una reacción hacia otro movimiento, de forma infinita. Torstov hace que sus estudiantes imaginen jugar con una bola de mercurio, imaginando que la pasan por todo su cuerpo. Esto me recordó a alguna técnica del Tai Chi, y creo que sería interesante que todos pudiéramos practicarlo.
Restricción y control
Las emociones no siempre tienen que expresarse en su totalidad. De hecho, el contenerlas es lo más humano del mundo. Uno de los ejemplos que pone es cuando alguien está inmerso en un drama aterrorizador, algo que escapa a su control. Las lágrimas ahogan, su voz se quiebra, incluso puede quedarse paralizada. Con el paso del tiempo, va encontrando un espacio para soltar esas emociones fuertes hasta encontrar la calma para hablar de ellas.
Dicción y canto
Este capítulo analiza los rasgos de las vocales y las consonantes, y demuestra que aprender a cantar nos ayuda a mejorar nuestras aptitudes vocales. Sin duda, será algo que explorar en próximas entradas.
Entonaciones y pausas
La clave de este capítulo es la importancia del subtexto al reproducir el guión. Por ejemplo, la palabra "amor" puede no significar nada para una persona que no entienda español, pero si se llena de emoción, si se usa en el momento justo, su significado es infinito, y no necesitan saber esa lengua para entenderlo.
Curiosamente, puede ser lo más divertido de actuar, ya que está intrínsecamente relacionado con la pausa dramática, y no se me ocurre un mejor ejemplo que...
Acentuación: la palabra expresiva
En este capítulo, Torstov insiste en que reproducir el texto o transmitir una emoción no son los objetivos de un actor. Esas palabras y esas emociones deben provocar un efecto, o nada de lo que haga tendrá sentido. Aconseja hablar no al oído, sino al ojo de nuestro compañero en escena. Y esto, fuera de las explicaciones sobre efectos o no efectos, me parece un consejo CLAVE si estás en el teatro. Hay que saber reaccionar a lo que haga tu compañero, pase lo que pase.
Perspectiva en la construcción del personaje
Al irse desarrollando un personaje tenemos dos perspectivas: la del propio personaje y la del actor. Esto es crucial. El actor sabe lo que va a pasar con el personaje, pero el personaje no debe saber su futuro. Si bien es verdad que cada acción lo va a llevar a su objetivo y por tanto el actor debe recordar su futuro, no puede dejar que el personaje se mueva sabiendo exactamente lo que va a pasar. No sería realista.
Tempo – Ritmo en movimiento
Me temo que no voy a decir mucho de esta sección, ya que pretendo hacer contenidos con mayor profundidad sobre este tema.
Tempo del habla – Ritmo
Me temo que no voy a decir mucho de esta sección, ya que pretendo hacer contenidos con mayor profundidad sobre este tema. (Para seros sincera, en realidad me aburrí un poquito, pero shhh).
El Atractivo Escénico
Lo que más me ha gustado de este capítulo es la diferencia que hace entre dos tipos de personas embarcadas en el mundo escénico: Los guapis y los fachaditas. Creo que el primero se puede resumir con un “nunca conozcas a tus ídolos”. Un actor de este tipo puede permitirse de todo, incluso ser un mal actor. Su carisma está en el personaje que ellos venden a sus admiradores, no el personaje de la obra. Y cuando se acaba su belleza física, o cuando salen a la luz sus verdaderas intenciones, sus fans se dan de bruces con la decepción. Por otro lado, el segundo tampoco es el objetivo de un buen actor. Los que utilizan las fachadas pueden ejercer un gran magnetismo escénico entre kilos de maquillaje y pelucas, pero es importante ver lo que hay debajo también.
Hacia una Ética Teatral
Aunque dedicaré una entrada exclusiva con una lista de consejos sacados de aquí y otros que añadiré, os resumo: respeto, respeto, respeto. Respeto a tus compañeros, al texto, al superobjetivo, a los técnicos, a tu público, a la puntualidad, a la butaca medio rota. A TODO.
A través del consciente y hacia el inconsciente. + Pautas.
Junto los dos porque siento que van de la mano. El último parece un resumen de lo aprendido, pero el ante penúltimo es interesantísimo: Torstov propone a sus estudiantes jerarquizar todas las pautas que les ha dado. Atención, ¡tiene trampa!
\\
¿Qué crees tú que es lo más importante?
Si algo de lo que comparta es de tu interés o te ayuda, ¿te apetece invitarme a un café? Puedes hacerlo en el banner de kofi en esta página (o directamente en paypal.me/elenjaxxms) siempre que quieras y te lo puedas permitir.
¡Muchas gracias y hasta pronto!
#stanislavski#actress#acting#theatre#theater#thespians#teatreros#teatro#actuación#consciente#arte#personajes#construyendo al personaje#building a character
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
2 - 13 - 17 - 65 - 78
(5 questions in one go because why the hell not 🌞)
5 is a quality number! (aesthetically my favourite, in fact)
[Referencing this post]
2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”
Oh heck, the Curse in ch77/78 of AfM.
"Oh no no no no," it said to my chapter outline, "how easily you do forget, the degree to which actions have consequences."
13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.
I'm not quite sure what to make of this one. Is it 'experience' as in a part of writing in general, or the experience of working on a particular piece?
I suppose... in general something that has pleasantly surprised me is how visibly one hones one's craft, within the space of just a few years, when you've got a reason to really, passionately focus on a single thing. I'd been writing long-form for a really long time prior to AfM, so I was no slacker stylistically. But really finding the actual core of my existence in conveying a particular story for that length of time, it did so much to improve me as a writer, because it felt like I was making the effort for the story, not just for myself.
17. what is your favourite line you’ve ever written?
I'm sorry, I just don't have this sort of brain! XD If you could narrow it down to 'What's the most impactful/cringe-inducing/intimate/tear-jerking/ominous etc etc line you remember writing', I could probably dig up something! But right now, I don't think I have that sort of relationship with my words. ^^;;
65. what is your favourite title for a fic you’ve written?
*goes to browse my ao3 works*
Cos you know, I actually really enjoy titling things, it adds an extra layer of creativity, and sometimes -- I hope -- conveys bonus meaning to the content. As such, I put a lot of thematic thought into my titles and there's none I'm seeing that I'm particularly unhappy with. Apart from -- irony of ironies -- AfM itself! Because it was kind of a placeholder title for something that got to be so much more (like I wrote about in the afterword). Within AfM tho, the chapter titles are some of my favourites ever... so maybe I'll choose one of those to answer this!
...There's something really satisfying about the set of:
70. Out of Mind
71. Out of Sight
because it plays with a few things, most obviously the inversion of "out of sight, out of mind", where not seeing something is suggested to be a calming thing, whereas here, it very much is not.
70 being Lilith's POV, she is very much in her own mind (Mary being the one who is literally out of hers), but in the state of anxious frenzy that we colloquially call being 'out of one's mind'. And then, 71 as Mary's POV, she is the 'thing' that is quickly out of sight, despite being present the whole time, from the reader's perspective. I very much enjoy paired chapters like this, where you relive events from the flipped perspective that adds insight to what you read before, and 77/78 have the same feeling, in many ways.
Anyway, once 71's is no longer 'out of sight', 70's need no longer be 'out of mind'. And I enjoy that a lot.
78. how do you choose where to end a chapter?
Generally I have a clear place I’m working towards, and because I imagine scenes in a very theatrical way, it’s the point where the lights would go down on a stage, for the players to change location et al. Which is why my work is characterised by quite theatrically pronounced final lines of scenes and chapters. People have often said “Your last lines!!” etc and it’s very much me hitting that note of “and... Scene!” where there’s a micro sense of satisfaction that always leaves the audience impatient for the lights or curtain to come up again. The curtain being the chapter end, naturally, I try to always make those stronger, but scenes too -- if there’s more than one, unlike earlier AfM chapters -- need to have some sense of satisfaction, whether it be a necessity of forward motion, or a girding of the loins, or just some reward for having gone through whatever they the reader just did.
All that to say, sometimes I won’t get to the point intended, because my mind will suddenly give me the lights lowering, when a line is hit, and I realise that the scene has to end early because the necessary narrative or emotional beat has just been hit. Pushing for the previously intended end would feel forced, at least to me. And probably less impactful.
Well that was delightfully self-indulgent! Thank you, and-- *holds up empty porridge bowl for more validation of my prowess*
#asks#my fic#Answers for Mary#palace-of-jemenfous#writing#aka my task my joy my glee upon this earth
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
relatoseroticostaboo3
Erotics Stories Taboo
arabrot
THE WORLD MUST BE DESTROYED
fjgodinez
Sin título
johnkatsmc5
return to the underground,the other side of music
burkesguidetodnd
Burke's Guide to D&D