#this was the most surreal ask just in terms of it being so amazing
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i NEED a wedding day typa thing with matt where hes just stressing and his vows are cuter than anything and he admires u while ur walking down the aisle that typa shit
long enough
matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: noneeeee
a/n: hope you likeee <33
don’t cry. don’t cry, don’t cry.
i took a deep breath as i stared at the doors, waiting for her to come through them.
i’ve waited for this day for so long, and now that it was actually happening it felt surreal.
“please stand”
as i watched everyone collectively stand up i felt a rush of nerves take over me.
this was really happening.
i wasn’t in my 9th grade science class, watching her expertly mix chemicals together, day dreaming about marrying her.
we weren’t studying for our math test together, her explaining how to solve the problem while i zoned out, imagining how amazing she would be at planning our wedding.
i wasn’t watching her walk down the stairs on prom night, finally seeing which dress she chose, thinking about what it’d be like to see her in her wedding dress for the first time.
now, i was living it.
every minute i spent longing for her, all of the pain i went through waiting for her, it all led up to this exact moment.
chris, most likely picking up on my nerves, patted my shoulder lightly from his spot beside me.
i momentarily glanced over to him, and he gave me a slight nod.
nick, who was on the other side of him, gave me a quick thumbs up.
i took another deep breath, attempting to relax, as i watched the doors in anticipation.
the moment they opened up, i lost it.
i let out a quick breath, tears welling in my eyes when i saw her standing there.
i held my breath for a second while i took in her dress. it was perfect for her.
the white seemed to make her glow, only adding to her natural beauty.
the top of the dress was lined with intricate designs, with a touch of lace to top it off.
the straps were thin, but not too thin, a detail of the dress she was adamant about being perfect.
the bottom of the dress was long, but not long enough where she had to worry about it dragging behind her too much.
the dress had a small slit going up her leg. it wasn’t anything too crazy, just long enough for me to see the lace garter decorating her thigh, peeking through when she walked.
it was unlikely that anyone else even saw it, however, i was purposefully looking for it.
the dress just screamed her. it was simple, yet so unique. the extravagance wasn’t in the dress itself, but in the details.
it was clear that she put an abundance of time and thought into picking out the dress, and it paid off.
“oh my god” i whispered under my breath, attempting to blink back my tears.
READER’S POV
“take a breath” mary lou spoke as she rubbed my back gently.
i was currently staring at the doors in anticipation, my hands shaking lightly.
i did as she said, inhaling through my nose and out of my mouth.
“i’ll be next you the whole time, sweetheart” she smiled at me.
my parents and i were on less than optimal terms, as they liked to call it.
at least, that’s what they said when people asked about it.
they were never there for me, but mary lou and jimmy were. i never even had to ask her to be the one to walk me down the aisle, we both always knew it would be her.
“i’m so grateful for you” i told her, my voice wavering slightly.
she pulled me into a hug, giving me a slight squeeze.
“good, cause you’re stuck with me” she chuckled.
after waiting a few more minutes, the doors finally opened.
everyone’s head turned to me, and my eyes widened slightly under the pressure of so many people’s gaze.
“you’re ok” she whispered to me, knowing how i would react.
my eyes found matt’s across the aisle, and my focus on everyone else completely faded away.
tears were streaming down his face as he stared at me in awe.
i took in his appearance, and almost melted right there.
he looked so good.
his suit was crisp, no doubt the result of him making sure it was hanging at all times. knowing him, he probably never even took it out of the protective bag, wanting it to stay wrinkle-free.
his tie was tied perfectly, the result of him watching youtube videos repeatedly, needing to master the skill. (mary lou ended up having to teach him how to do it over facetime.)
every piece of his tuxedo matched perfectly, his meticulous planning shining through.
the tux fit him better than i ever could have imagined.
he wore a few rings, knowing how much i loved them on his hands. i was excited for one ring in particular, though.
as mary lou guided me down the aisle, i noticed matt’s gaze run up and down my body, stopping at the garter that i let him pick out.
i smiled lightly at that, watching as he met my eyes again.
once we got to the end of the aisle, we stopped directly in front of matt.
“hi baby” i whispered to him, watching as he began to laugh lightly.
his smile grew even wider as mary lou, handed him a few tissues for his tears.
we both laughed lightly at this, “where did you get that?” i asked. everyone around us laughed at that.
“no, i’m serious. where did that come from?” i asked, confused.
we were met with more laughter, my question left unanswered.
she gave us both a kiss to the cheek, before placing my hand in his.
i felt tears of my own start to fall at the gesture.
“you may now be seated” everyone sat down at the request.
“family and friends, thank you all for coming today to share in this wonderful occasion. today we are here together to unite matt and y/n in marriage”
“and now for the vows” the officiator spoke. matt decided he wanted to go first.
“ok, hi” he breathed out, a large grin spreading on his face. “y/n, i have spent such a long time dreaming about this day. for so long, i would tell chris and nick that i was gonna marry you one day. but then you started chasing after other guys and you seemed so unattainable all of a sudden. but we’re finally here, we’re getting married” he whispered excitedly, as though he couldn’t believe it, “and there’s no one else that i’d rather be with. i love how deeply you care about the things that are important to you, like this. i’m pretty sure i’ve seen everything in this room on your pinterest board at some point” the room filled with chuckles, “ you’ve put so much love and time into this and i’m so grateful to have found someone who cares about this, who cares about me so much. and seeing you walk down that aisle with my mom, i-” his voice broke as his lip began to quiver slightly.
i sniffled softly, blinking rapidly as more tears fell from my eyes.
“you mean everything to me, and i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” he finished.
when the officiator gestured to me, i began my vows.
“ geez, that was really good” i breathed out, making everyone laugh.
“ok” i spoke as i took a deep breath, “matt, i have loved you for so long. i can’t even pinpoint when, we were so young. but, i always thought that i was just gonna be in the crowd, watching you do this with someone else. i never imagined, for a second, that you felt the same. and growing up, your mom would always tell me that when we got married, she’d be the one to hand me off to you. and i never believed that i would actually get to experience that”
“i love you more than words can describe, and i’m so happy to be able to call you my husband. i’m so grateful to be marrying my best friend, because i couldn’t imagine life without you, and now i never have to. thank you for accepting me, thank you for loving me. just- thank you” i finished.
“do you matthew sturniolo, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”
“of course i do” he spoke, staring at me.
“and do you y/n , take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?
“i do”
we were then given our rings to exchange.
as i slid the ring on matt’s finger, i spoke “with this ring, i thee wed and pledge you my love now and forever”
matt did the same with my ring, “with this ring, i thee wed and pledge you my love now and forever”
“by the authority vested in me by the state of massachusetts , i now pronounce you husband and wife!”
“you may now-” he didn’t even finish the sentence before matt wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his lips against mine in a passionate kiss.
the room was filled with cheers and applause as our lips moved against each others for a few seconds, before pulling away.
he pulled me into a hug, kissing my forehead. “you could’ve let the man finish first” i spoke, teasingly.
“i’ve waited long enough”
🕊️🕊️🕊️🕊️
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @charlotteblogs777 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt#matt sturniolo fic#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo imagine#sturniolos#sturniolo fic#sturniolo fluff
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Hi Drones! Love your Mareach fanfics (literally top notch💯). I was wondering, what are your thoughts on the movie (assuming you’ve seen it😅)? I have a few thoughts on it, but would love to hear yours!
Hey there!! I appreciate the ask! (And OMG thank you for reading my fics, that's so sweet of you 😭)
I have finally seen the Mario movie and I do have a lot to say haha, and I'm cool with sharing my broad thoughts this way, but if you're looking for a more in-depth discussion then I'm happy to discuss more in a PM!!
Just a brief disclaimer; my opinion reflects only my personal preference! I don't have any problem with disagreement or anyone who feels differently.
I will say the movie was a lot of fun! It was so surreal to see the Mushroom Kingdom on the big screen, and to hear such familiar melodies in cinematic arrangements. It was downright magical, actually. There was plenty to laugh and be amazed at, and so many references that had me grinning the entire time!
About the plot though 😅 There are pacing and some narrative critiques that I've seen so I won't say anything beyond that. The most important thing for me is I believe in the merit of a children's movie being all fun and silly, but I also really feel like this film went out of its way to avoid social commentary at its own expense. Not for no good reason; I know Nintendo does everything possible to keep the Mario franchise as family friendly as possible. But in terms of an impactful story, it fell sort of flat in my view. I feel as if it could have benefitted from some kind of social commentary beyond it's shot at subverting the damsel-in-distress trope.
(That in particular felt like performative feminism in a sense. Maybe it wasn't, maybe it was a sincere attempt at empowering an iconic character. But the default answer in a lot of media to empowering women these days seems to be "make her strong the way that the men characters are." A girlboss, I guess. It feels performative for me because it reaffirms with the idea that strength in character can only be relevant/seen within masculine qualities, and writers can just say "but it's a woman!" while continuing to disregard more feminine examples of strength. It's like a Get Out of Jail Free Card to acknowledging gender inequality.
Like, the problem wasn't that she's a damsel-in-distress; the problem is how pervasive the trope of damsel-in-distress used to be across the board. Except now, pop culture has sort of swung the other way. The problem isn't the girlboss character, the problem is that the girlboss character is perceived as the only correct way of writing "strong women characters." It's just sort of missing the point. The problem is still the same; women characters are stuffed into the same small box of behavior, attitude, and ultimate role depending on what's trendy at the time. I love the damsel-in-distress trope. I also love the girlboss. But it can be tiring to see that same story over and over again, feeling as if there are only a few options for writers to portray women, and realizing that it represents a sort of confinement of understanding for what women are allowed to be in real life for social acceptance, too.)
I get the desire to avoid politics and social issues. I really do, but in my position (studying social sciences), I see social issues as unavoidable. To go without acknowledging them is to ignore them, and from a story perspective, to go without them also kind of makes it boring?
I've seen the argument that it's a children's movie, therefore it doesn't have to be complicated. That's absolutely valid. I wish I could go back to having no thoughts lol. But it's my personal preference to watch a film that makes me think and consider the world from another point of view. And in response to that argument, all I can really say is basically my favorite genre is children's films that have social commentary. (See The Iron Giant, Wall-E, The Little Prince, Megamind, Beauty and the Beast, literally any given Studio Ghibli film. All of these have something to say about society contained within them.) I kind of wish the Mario movie had an interesting point to make in that context, but it didn't really, and that's okay. That's just why it's not one of my favorite movies.
That being said, there is plenty to love. The character designs were absolutely adorable. The Mushroom Kingdom was more than I could have ever dreamed of, and the way Mario and Luigi's brotherly relationship played out was just so beautifully written 🥺 I love that this will undoubtedly expand pop culture's regard for Mario, and maybe draw others into my silly little corner of the internet where I just sit here and publish my fluffy Mareach fanfiction 😆
#Mario Movie Spoilers#Kind of?#Not really anything specific#But anyway#Like I said I do have a LOT more to say#And I'm still having debates in my own head over it#Like how important is it REALLY to have social commentary?#Does struggles for family approval/validation/acceptance count?#(Not enough imo)#Not looking to be controversial#But this is one of the few things I feel mildly qualified to talk about#“ACTUALLY I've been writing Mario fanfic since I was ten so 🤓”#CLEARLY I am a relevant authority on this topic /s#It's literally Mario#It's not that deep#(But I want it to be)#(And that's my problem)#(So I will continue to make my own goofy fanfic over here)#(mine does have some social commentary sometimes)#Just saying I would be down to help write the next film lol#@ Nintendo and Illumination#Sorry for this preachy take but I do have opinions haha#Diary of Drones#Thank you for the ask!!!
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me and you, and a very bad case of hopeless romanticism.
Hex Codes : #FFD400 #87CEEB
i have called the surface of this giant rock "home" for well over seventeen years, i've had quite a few experiences in regards to love; be it crushes, unrequited feelings, boyfriends, friends, family, pets, peers, passions, interests, and so forth. and to be perfectly honest, love is great. sure, it has its (very big) ups and downs most of the time but love has always been something that i find to be amazing. some people call it naïveté, i think "curiosity" is a better and less condescending term.
i've established that yes, the idea of love is a topic i find quite interesting. however, something that piques my interest a little more is the "color of love."
as someone who is absolutely obsessed with associating colors to every scenario, love is somewhat an enigma; it is something inconsistent, forever changing to those who experience it. no one sees and feels the same color as it is something that is quite up for interpretation. it is both warm and cool and some aspects are neutral, it is black and white yet the most colorful thought. it's quite surreal to think about.
platonic and familial love is something i would like to save for a different time though. as august is about to start, i'd like to say that i've had my fair share of colors associated with the chaos we call romantic attraction.
love had been pink, a love for a childhood best friend never to be requited. an experience i still hold quite dearly and has forever shaped a part of me.
it has been orange, a love that fell apart due to circumstance yet will always have so much respect for each other. a friend beforehand, and still a friend after all the wreckage our untimely love brought upon us.
it had been red, burnt my skin and burnt my heart as i let a man tear me down and build me back up all for his amusement. played by a cheater, a fraud, a heartbreaker, a liar, and a good-for-nothing idiot.
and love has been purple, a love that died the same way a candle in a rainstorm would. a slow and painful decay of not being given enough flame to keep the fire alive, not given a shelter for the love to thrive.
love had been bitter, left me bruised and battered far too many times. despite all of this, experiences give me new colors for my pallet. a sick way to look at situations but what is hurt if not an experience to enhance your art?
i'm still desperately hoping and begging that one day, the right color of love would come to me. for it to envelope me until i exhale my last sigh of content, before falling into the deep blackness of death.
maybe love will come to me soon, too.
and maybe, hopefully,
love comes in the form of you.
a blue boy i barely know but i would love to get to know. eyes that shine with artistry, lips that sing such a good melody, mind full of creativity, and a heart perfect for me made perfectly. a showstopper, head-turner, painfully amazing blue boy with skies as clear as day.
are those eyes actually hollow, full of self-pity? lips kept shut for an eternity when asked, how is he? mind fogged with misery? is your sky actually blue or is it the grayest, are they cloudy?
i would love to know who knows?
maybe this is just a crush, randomly passing by. i'll probably get over this soon. i probably won't.
what would i know? in the end, i am just a boy who is extremely fascinated with the thought and occurrence of love. the flaws and pros of it pique my interests, in such a way that even music could not capture my attention the same. it's methodical, it's scientific, it's a stupid kid's forever wish.
#poetry#colors#love#love me pls#hex codes#rant#aesthetic#i guess#idk what tags to use#i have a crush#he's cool#Spotify#playlist#writing#spilled ink#thoughts
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The ringing in Sidekick’s ears was steadily subsiding into something less deafening, though their brain still throbbed from the blast. Their fear of long term tinnitus was going to have to wait as Sidekick uncurled themself from where they had taken refuge moments before, shaking the dust and debris off their battered body. A quick look around the surrounding area confirmed the explosion had been massive, destructive, but thankfully contained by Hero’s quick thinking just as planned. To think Sidekick had doubted their ability!
Most impressive of all was the fact that Villain’s body lay amongst the rubble on the opposite side of the blast zone, claimed as collateral damage in their own failed attack when Hero used their powers to redirect much of the energy. Sidekick couldn’t believe it. Not only had Hero saved the day by preventing the city from being leveled in an atomic explosion, but they had at last taken out their greatest nemesis in the process as the only casualty. How amazing it was to have a mentor so gallant, so brave, so heroic.
“We…did it…?” Sidekick asked the burning air, coughing to clear out a bit of ash out of their throat. This was usually the moment when Villain would jump back up, reveal themself to be perfectly fine, and disappear into the night until they were ready for their next plan to be foiled by the dynamic duo.
But Villain did not get up. They couldn’t. As Sidekick took a few tentative steps to where their long hated enemy lay, it was clear to see they suffered from injuries no mortal could survive. Hell, even other heroes with the gift of super healing may not have been able to self repair quick enough to undo the bodily damage done by the blast. Good thing Hero had stuffed Sidekick into that tight alcove just seconds before they reverse detonated the bomb or they’d be toast.
“We did it,” Sidekick repeated, more confident in their observation. They were hurt, bleeding, aching, tired, but they were alive. Everyone was still alive. No one else had to fall victim to Villain’s dastardly ways, no more innocent lives needed to be claimed in the name of world domination. “We…we did it!”
‘We’ was quite the strong word seeing as Hero did most of the work eight out of ten times, with tonight's brilliant act being no exception. Yet Hero always told Sidekick they couldn’t have done any of their great feats without the help of their beloved assistant, so they were happy to take any scrap of credit they could for taking down one of the biggest baddies around. Sidekick would make up their usefulness when the two of them returned to their base to patch up. If Sidekick thought they were pretty banged up with the bruising to their chest and the blood in their teeth, then Hero had to be in an absolute state being on the other end of the blast.
“We did it! Hero, we did it!” They continued to cheer. It felt a little morally sour to celebrate the death of Villain, an individual nonetheless, but Sidekick found it hard to justify a reason to mourn them. Besides, they just saved hundreds of thousands of lives, they had every right to be giddy.
Their right leg throbbed as they hobbled over to where Hero had been flung in the explosion, swept off their feet just as Villain was. Sidekick hoped they hadn’t broken anything when they collided with the crumbling surroundings; trying to carry Hero home with a twisted ankle wasn’t going to end well for either of them. They coughed again, a metallic taste coating their throat, unsure if it was coming from their nose or their teeth or their lungs. Again, whatever Sidekick was suffering with, Hero had to be nursing something twice as bad.
“Hero? Hero, are you over here?” Sidekick asked. There was no response initially, but a couple pained steps closer and they were able to see the familiar colorful boots of Hero. Relief washed over them to see them still intact, not that they expected anything less.
“Hero! Did you see? We…we did it,” it still felt so surreal to say. Sidekick wasn’t sure they’d ever get over the shock of success. “Villain’s gone. Really gone. You stopped the bomb, you saved everyone!”
Sidekick gave a breathy laugh, a crooked smile on their face when they still received no reply to their childish excitement. “Hey. Hero. Can you hear me? Ears still deaf?”
No response. No acknowledgement.
“C’mon, Hero, don’t leave me hanging like this! We did it!”
Hero didn’t lift their head from where it was dropped to their chest for a grin. Their fingers didn’t twitch to give Sidekick a thumbs up. Their legs didn’t kick the cape tangled around them to stand up.
“Ah, man, Hero, you know I don’t have super strength, there’s no way I’m going to be able to carry you all the way back to base,” Sidekick fake groused. They nudged Hero’s boot with their own. “We gotta scram before the cops get here, Hero. You know how they feel about us.”
Sidekick looked down to where their boots touched, finally taking notice of the puddle of red that was steadily inching outwards from where Hero had been propped against the shattered wall.
“...Hero…?”
#whump#whump ideas#whump scenario#whump stuff#whumpee#whumper#whump community#whump prompt#whump inspiration#whump drabble#hero whumpee#sidekick Whumpee#major character death#angst#whump writing#my writing#I don’t know what other tags to use#hurt no comfort#tumblr formats things weird when you copy/paste so I hope it looks okay
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🛒✨🎶💌 ! and, are there any elements that you’d like to incorporate into your fics and writing that you haven’t yet (for reasons of time/opportunity)?
Omg sorry I am just answering this now. I didn't think I'd get any asks... And sorry this got Very Long. I'm an incredibly self-obsessed person who loves Being Asked Things About Myself.
Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask
🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.
Oh hm, let's break this into parts.
Themes:
Grief/longing, haunting as part of that, difficult family relationships, love but not in the way it matters
Feels
Somberness, intimacy, despair, fear
Scenes
Quiet moments between characters where they don't say anything, but let the silence speak for them as they try to understand one another. <- not great at writing dialogue
Cooking: someone cooking for another person or someone eating someone else's cooking, shopping for cooking materials. etc.
Someone looking out the window or something similar
Imagery
I'm actually not sure about this one, I guess I make a lot of references to the night and the sea, and also like blood and guts. I think it's stuff with internal organs after all? Or maybe I just like the imagery of things coming apart. Usually they involve the body in some way. Escape or wistfulness or fear and danger are usually portrayed through the waves or the night atmosphere. Or something. Sorry, I'm not a lit major so I can't really. word it much better than this. I am also lost. If anyone's ever read a number of my works, maybe they can tell me lol.
✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉
Ughhh this is so hard because I'm a very harsh critic on myself, but I guess it's cool that I'm like, trying hard or whatever. I may not write as much this days, but the few odd pieces of poetry and such do come out okay-ish even if they also look like something that can be written much better by like, 14 year olds or something and are also super angsty with no substance. It's like, cool that I can somewhat implement some stuff I've learned be it through theory books (which I've not finished.) or through assimilation from reading other works. Like woo I'm not super horrible at studying, or whatever. I've also been told my writing is pretty "evocative" and "emotive" so I guess it's probably true? I do write a lot of my feelings. And I actually do like how... filler-y all my works feel, how meandering they are. I know nothing about film, but I always think of my writing in terms of like, directing, as in how do I want these scenes to play out? And I know not a lot of people like this sort of writing style, but I do...... Maybe I won't write anything of substance or whatever, but I can write pretty things to please myself or something.
🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?
Not really. I have something wrong with me so I can't really listen to most music when trying to write, because I'm easily influenced by the words being sung or I'd get distracted by the melody. I think I only listen to like, classical arrangements or white noise whenever I try to write. Because otherwise, my brain would be thinking of the lyrics instead of what I'm trying to write. It's the same thing with like, people speaking around me. When I can't fully tune it out, I end up... being too focused on the conversations around me and not on my actual writing lol.
As for what I've been playing on loop.... I'm told it's I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by MCR LMAO.
💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?
I love comments and feedback!! I always get so amazed whenever I get them because it's like, wow, you people actually care enough about my work to read it and show me what I can do to improve it??? It always feels surreal to me, I always go back to my comments section whenever I feel like shit to make myself feel better. Even the simplest comments make me happy... I get excited just by knowing people out there are seeing the stuff I put out...
But well, of course I'm also a bit wary sometimes when it comes to getting beta'd because I'm bad at not taking concrit personally and also because I constantly feel the need to be shaped by every input, like I have to follow everything to the letter, but I'm... slowly working on that lol..
Are there any elements that you’d like to incorporate into your fics and writing that you haven’t yet (for reasons of time/opportunity)?
Oh there are so, so many things I want to incorporate into my fics and writing, but I feel so, so terribly inadequate in both my skill level and my time to execute them properly:
childcare/childrearing
genuine, solid horror
sweet romance that's genuine and not one-sided or boring. And also good steamy scenes. I'm bad at these because I'm chronically bitchless and also evil and bitter and have issues.
comedy
more solid worldbuilding
better dialogue
more intricate prose
EFFICIENCY!!! I want to be able to be concise while still conveying a lot....
Sorry if I'm not getting this question right, btw fskdjfdsf
ANYWAY. THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ANON <3
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For the ask game: 13, 25, and 44. I adore all of your mk fics and your playlist are 100% going to influence my Spotify wrapped lol. Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful works and have a great rest of your week!!! 💜💜💜
Heeeyyy thank you so much my friend! I always love reading your comments and seeing you pop up again and again for each of my stories, it's absolutely wonderful. And thank you for the questions! Time for me to ramble once again.
13. Do I listen to music when writing? Oh, most definitely. Working in silence is hard for me. Ironically, though, I tend to zone the music out when writing (to the point I will not notice if I paused it until 20 minutes of silence later) so it's mostly for background sounds and occasionally the distracted little bop. As for what I listen to, it depends on what I'm feeling like and what I feel will help me vibe with the story. For In the Absent Place I spent like four hours just listening to thunderstorm sounds because, well, rain was a big part of that story and I wanted the Ambience™. I also ended up listening to the Moon Knight OST multiple times because it helped me vibe with the characters and the creepy aura while writing.
In terms of lyrical music, I like listening to songs that have a story and/or emotional element of sorts when I'm writing. I listened to a lot of 'Bastille', 'The Oh Hellos' and 'Sleeping At Last' for a lot of my recent stories (as I'm sure you can tell from the fic playlists, thank you for listening to them by the way :D), because they each have a bunch of songs that I found really connected to the themes of the stories, and I like doing the classic writer thing of going "this song is now about this character" and taking inspiration from the lyrics. 'Course, my On Repeat stuff doesn't match up with that motivation at all; for those songs, the vibes come first and foremost. So, yeah, for the second part of the question, here's a few songs that I've been listening to a lot lately:
- Straight Ahead by Dom Fera
- Lent by Autoheart
- Drown Me! by Junie & The HutFriends
- Home by Cavetown
- It’s Alright by Mother Mother
- Jaws by Lemon Demon
- A Man Without Love by Engelbert Humperdinck (haha no surprise there)
- Disaster by Conan Gray
- Waiting in the Wings by Eden Espinosa
- Million Dollar Bills by Jukebox the Ghost
- Egg in the Backseat by Em Beihold
- W.I.T.C.H by Devon Cole
- 12 Years Howled by Bear Ghost
- Record Player (with AJR) by Daisy the Great
- Inkpot Gods by The Amazing Devil
- I Don’t Know How to Talk to People Anymore by Ben Thornewill
25. My favourite part of the writing process is when I get to the point in the story where all the main parts have been written, and I get to fill in the gaps between them and make the story whole, and add in all the little details. There's something so thrilling about scrolling through the text and realising that it's all come together into something complete.
44. My favourite genre to write is character studies. I just love delving into the psychological and emotional journey the character goes through over the course of a story, not simply the journey itself. I personally love when the external journey parallels the internal stuff and adds an extra layer of depth to each side (like, with Smoke and Mirrors, the mirror world was a physical representation of Marc and Steven feeling isolated from others, and feeling like they couldn’t ask for help because no one was listening / they were being ignored). Other than character studies, I definitely love writing anything with surreal, horror, or fantasy elements. (No wonder I loved Moon Knight as much as I did, it really was out here hitting all my favourite genres.)
Ask me fanfic questions!
#ask#beloved mail#fanfic stuff#god sorry this answer is very lopsided I guess I just really got into the music question#someone asked what music i listen to? time to share my topsy turvy music taste#it really is just so over the place#(but there's no better whiplash then going from like 'it's alright it's okay you're not a demon' to 'JAWS THE SHARK LURKING IN THE DARK!!!')#i leap from broadway music to indie pop to hiphop to folk to punk to rock to mainstream pop to spoken word to southern gothic to--#i personally can't wait to see my own spotify wrapped this year just to see what i've listened to most#(also ohohoho i corrupted your spotify?? mwahaha excellent)#anyway thank you for the questions noggin kisses for you
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I just got back from New York earlier today and have a few things to talk about following up of previous things I’ve discussed so I’m just gonna chat for a little before I go to bed! NEW YORK WAS VERY FUN!! I had a great time obviously, like usual. There’s something just so festive about just getting to eat dinner with and talk to adults in fancy restaurants, that was one thing I liked. Also visiting college was cray-cray, I visited Wesleyan which was like the main thing I was excited about for this trip/the reason I planned and organized. It was like a last hurrah in terms of me humoring the idea of attending, at the end of the day, KU is the most reasonable option for me and has what I need. Would’ve been fun to go somewhere artsy where I would end up in New York tho …. yknow who knows where I’ll end up some day, it’s not like I’ll be tied to Lawrence or anything. To be totally honest, even tho I was excited about it cause of videos like mgmt performing this must be the place at Wesleyan, and cause of all the interviews I’ve read where they talked about the school, I don’t feel let down that I won’t be going there. It just felt too small, and wasn’t kicking with the kinda energy I thought it might be in my head yknow? Which is a good thing, so I’m not tempted to go there, but the place just is quite estranged. I’m sure there is cool stuff going on there, but it’s not a tourist attraction per say. We also walked around Yale and HOLYYY damn I didn’t even know places could like that, the fall leaves were beautiful and the buildings were amazing, such a great Harry Potter academic fall vibe going on. Also I’ve been thinking about Diego a lot lately. I mean since September, august even, but October he’s just been on my mind so much. We’ve gone on a couple dates but we aren’t formally dating or anything, even tho the other day this guy asked Diego “you with your girl?” and he said “maybeee” and we giggled :))))) I WANNA BE HIS GIRL OR SOMETHINF!!!!! Sorry for being cringey and stuff I just like him a lot. We haven’t even kissed or anything even though I’ve liked layed against him and he’s had his arm like around me. Ahhh there’s just like that tension and anticipation that’s so fun but also stressful. I thought he was just nervous cause I was kinda the one initiating stuff, but today my sister let me know apparently he hasn’t so much cause he knows it’s my first relationship and he doesn’t want to scare me off, which is sweet. Soooo I’m just waiting, and it’s easy to be doubtful cause I’ve been very non-concrete when talking about our relationship or whatever, but I do think that one of these days he’s gonna be my first kiss and all that and I just like him a lot and it’s a weird feeling. I never have crushes very often or anything, like I wouldn’t even say I had a definite crush since like 7th grade or something??????? Which is fucking insane, and yeah there have been people I’ve been like “interested in” but not like real adoration like a crush or anything, so to be liking Diego so much and have him like me to just has been kinda surreal. It has me in like awe yknow, the feeling of butterflies but along with the knowledge that he feels the same. It’s so corny ik especially for being a senior in high school and stuff, but I’m just excited and whatever. God. He bought me tea cause I told him I had been sick and he brought me back a pocket knife from California with my name on it :). And I’ve been carving beads for a bracelet for his birthday since like September technically if I’m being honest. I work with him tomorrow and I hope we can do something after work!! The future is beautiful yknow?? Lovely things are to come?? And I like him so much?
So I’m excited because I think at some point I will know, things will be concrete, we’ll be dating🤞 and all, but right now everything is tentative like this little kiddish mystery crush thing. it’s fun to not know, to be scared to reach out to him. Whatever right now is or means, I like it and it’s sweet and I want to appreciate it :)
He played this song on the way to the dance when we were driving out of downtown kc and the lights were so pretty and I felt so excited and tingly just to be sitting next to him, which has been an enduring feeling lol
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Hamilton: Verstappen can break my wins record but Im working on slowing him | 2023 Canadian Grand Prix
Lewis Hamilton says Max Verstappen could “absolutely” break his record of 103 Formula 1 race victories in the future.
The Mercedes driver scored his most recent victory at the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix in 2021. Verstappen scored his 40th win in the Spanish Grand Prix two weeks ago.
Verstappen is 25 and is contracted to remain at Red Bull until at least 2028. Asked whether Verstappen could become the next driver to hold the record for most wins, Hamilton said: “He’s got a very long career ahead of him so absolutely.
“Ultimately records are there to be broken and he’s got an amazing team.”
Mercedes have only scored a single win since the beginning of last year – George Russell’s triumph at Interlagos last November. Hamilton said Mercedes have “got to work harder to try and continue to extend” his wins record. “I hope we get to have some, at least within the last period of time in my career, I hope we get to have some more close racing.”
If Verstappen wins Sunday’s Canadian Grand Prix he will equal Ayrton Senna’s tally of 41 wins, which is the fifth-highest total of any driver. At this race in 2017 Hamilton was presented with a helmet used by Senna when he equalled his childhood idol’s former record of 65 pole positions.
“It was very surreal,” Hamilton recalled. “Being five years old, watching with my dad, the dream was to be like Ayrton. And then the dream was to get to Formula 1 and do something like him.
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“To then find that you’re matching or equalling in terms of results – ultimately it’s unfair because there’s a lot more races in our time back than there were then. But still it’s a real honour.
Verstappen took his 40th win in Spain
“They gave me a replica helmet or something like that, so that was very cool. Max has been doing an amazing job, he’s had such an incredible career so far and he is for sure going to surpass that. I’m working on getting the car to where it needs to be so we can slow him down.”
Verstappen the milestone shouldn’t be used to compare his achievements with other drivers. “People always have different kinds of careers,” he said. “Maybe some drivers, they get into a race winning car sooner than others. Nowadays, of course, we have more races than back in the day. So I never really look at the number.
“But when I was a little kid I would have never imagined to be in that list. So for me it’s definitely an amazing achievement, for sure. But you can’t compare it, that’s one thing.”
Verstappen said Hamilton’s record, which he is not yet halfway towards reaching, will be “very hard to beat.”
“Obviously you need to be in the right car for a long time and we don’t know if we have that. But it’s also not something I ever looked at. I’m just going with the flow and enjoying the moment.”
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Red Bull has won every race this year. Verstappen said he isn’t considering that as a possibility at the moment.
“If you look at how we are performing now, yes [we could], but it is very unrealistic, I think, because there will always be things that will go wrong in the season that are maybe sometimes out of your control.
“So I’m not thinking that is possible. But when you look at it realistically at the moment with how quick the car is, yes, it is.”
“Last year was already quite crazy with 15 wins,” he added. “But as long as I win the championship, that’s the most important.”
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#F1#Hamilton: Verstappen can break my wins record but ‘I’m working on slowing him’ | 2023 Canadian Grand Prix#Formula 1
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Let Your Kingdom Come Here In My Heart
I wanted to share my salvation testimony with you all today. Today I want to share with you who I was before and after that small but great prayer.
To give people a backstory of where my heart was before Christ, my parents divorced when I was around 8, I think. You see, a lot of my younger childhood is “I think” or “I don’t know” but I’ve pushed so much of it out that I don’t have many memories anymore from before 10 years old. Most of what I do know is from people telling me what happened, or fuzzy memories and me asking questions like “did this actually happen”. My parents divorced when I was young, but now I know it was a good thing because my father was abusive to my mother. I do remember the yelling and throwing items like glasses and plates, but as a child I always thought “this is just how relationships are”. Kids don’t know anything.
My mom never left my dad because he threatened her by saying he’d take me and run away. He ended up leaving her which in turn made me hate my mother because it looked as if it was all her fault. Well, dad got me on the weekends when he wanted me, and mom got a new boyfriend. Dad wanted to have me over less often because of his new drug addict girlfriend, and mom never paid any attention to me, so I got very depressed and started having thoughts of not wanting to live. Mom’s boyfriend went to this little country church that mom made me start going to when they got engaged, and dad now wanted nothing to do with me. Around this time, I was very violent and angry in school and at home, especially with my mom. It was during Christmas that her and my soon to be stepdad broke the news that I was going to be a big sister. As if my life couldn’t suck anymore. I needed to get away from everything and since I was in 7th grade now, I was old enough to go on the church’s winter weekend retreat.
Have you ever heard the worship song “The Power Of Your Name” by Lincoln Brewster? When I was at this retreat I was there strictly for fun and for me, but God had other plans. I remember it so clearly; it was the Saturday night worship before the message. Fun little worship songs that every millennial would know, then they switched to a woman singing this piece that just changed the atmosphere of the room. The entrance of the song goes, “Surely children weren’t made for the streets and fathers were not made to leave, surely this isn’t how it should be let your kingdom come”.
Have you ever been so uninterested in something and then BAM! Your attention is grabbed full force just by one small word, phrase, sound, person. It truly is surreal to describe. After the song, we went right into the message about salvation and Jesus’ love, I was like a little kid on Christmas morning. After the message I prayed and welcomed Jesus into my life, even though I didn’t fully know what that meant yet.
So, what happened after? Did I miraculously change my ways, stop being hateful, stop being depressed, love my family for who they were, forgive my dad? No, not even close. What happened after was I gained a stepdad whom I grew to understand that he wasn’t the bad guy in the situation; I grew a lot through anger management with my youth pastor’s wife who is a psychologist. I made amazing (crazy) friends through youth group where I actually took God seriously in my life. These friends still are by my side today, and we’ve been through so much together. It took years to forgive my dad, but I talk to him on my terms, but we agreed to never meet. Everyday I’m still growing with Christ, but healing don’t always happen overnight.
“And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see this world be changed
By the power of Your name”
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Hello, I just finished rereading one of your short stories, and I was really impressed with your writing skills. Your story was so beautifully written, and exactly my reading type. I couldn’t help but think how someone could possibly learn how to write like that. Leading to my question; how did you learn to write so professionally? I know practice has a lot to do with it, but what types of practices? Did you take a course? I’m asking because you have my exact writing style, and I would like to learn from you specifically. Any tips? -Nat
Hi Nat!
First of all, the fact that you would not only read, but reread, my stories is a huge honor. Thank you so much for stopping by and doing that, but also, thank you for literally one of the most heartwarming messages ever! I am so in awe (in the best way). I really appreciate your time in every aspect. The fact you would want to seek advice from me is so wonderfully surreal.
On to your questions! Love all of them so much.
It's very true that I've been writing for a long time, so I've had a lot of practice. I've been in a few writing classes during my school days, and the most helpful things I got out of those were the writing prompts. It sounds like you're a writer who has already blossomed into their own writing style and it happens to resonate with mine, and that's great! That's a huge part of the battle for many writers everywhere. So, if you're like me and you just want to write, I think you may benefit from writing prompts. It's a huge reason why I started this blog! I love bringing stories to life that I alone probably would have never thought to map out in my mind. I'm not saying you need to start a blog or anything like that, but maybe finding a daily writing prompt can help you understand your writing style a bit more. It's different from writing our own ideas because we (mostly) already know how those are going to pan out. It's exciting to work with a prompt as a blank slate and see how you go about it.
Also, I like to feel like I am telling a story directly to someone. I'm a huge storyteller, so it's important for me to make my audience feel immersed, whether they're reading or listening. I want to be able to write the story almost the exact same way if I were speaking it, or vice versa. I personally call it my cadence.
I could honestly babble on and on forever about this stuff and I hope some of this was at least somewhat helpful, but just know I am literally so happy and always available to help and answer every single question you may ever have for me! I will give any advice as the wise old lady that I am. The most important thing is that you want to write, so you will write. That's the bottom line of advice that one of my fave authors gave me once upon a time. It seems hokey but it really has helped me even over a decade later. It's okay if it doesn't come out perfect all the time. It's okay if you feel unsatisfied with what you've written sometimes. I, and every other writer, know how that feels. But it makes us better! Keep going. I hope you know that I am so supportive of you as a writer! Feel free to come back and ask anything you want, whenever you want. I am only here to help!!!
#sweet cherub anon#this was the most surreal ask just in terms of it being so amazing#thank you so much for the kindness and i am honored to be someone you would seek advice from#i hope this is helpful!!!
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Always You | JJK (Two)
Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?
Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader
Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama
Word Count: 9.3k
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, oc is a bad friend:(, sexual tension (?), body image issues, oc is feeling a lil insecure, mentions of sex, sounds of sex, crying, male masturbation, fantasy includes: spanking and vaginal intercourse.
Notes: thanks for the love for the first part…heres part 2! I hope everyone enjoys:) get ready for drama to come hahaha. If you wanted to be added to the taglist just send me an ask or whatevs, and feel free to send one if you want to discuss the story!
Taglist: @monvieesdaebak @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous --- Next
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Gentleman: “A civilized, educated, sensitive, or well-mannered man.” Is how the dictionary defines the word but if you were to look up the term in your own dictionary it would just be a picture of Taehyung’s handsome as hell face.
Opening the car door, pulling your chair out, holding your hand, softly gripping your waist, making you feel like the only one in the room—Taehyung is doing everything right. Your mind should be overwhelmed with the thought of Taehyung. He should be filling your every sense, he should be the only thing you can understand. He should be. But every time his perfect lips land on the skin of your cheek, your mind somehow finds Jungkook. That son of a bitch.
There’s a string of warm lights dangling on the restaurants brick walls, and it’s almost picture perfect but one of the bulbs is out and it’s making the scene less ideal. Your eyes keep going back to the one bulb that refuses to shine. You just want everything to be perfect.
“I know I already told you…” Taehyung is sitting across from you, his gentle smile making your heart flutter, “But you look so pretty tonight.”
You know you should be gazing into his chocolate eyes but you can’t keep your eyes from shifting towards that stupid ass bulb. All the other bulbs are lit up just fucking fine but this bulb wants to be difficult. It just hasto go against everyone else. Your eyes narrow at the string of lights and you scoff. This stupid bulb reminds you of someone.
Taehyung brought you to a decently fancy restaurant, the food is alright but he says the main attraction is the monster baked cookie with ice cream melting over the top. He is excited like a child at the mention of his favorite dessert, you can’t help but smile fondly towards him.
“So…” Taehyung slides the dessert closer to you, “I never asked but how did Jungkook take the whole not really talking in public thing?”
Your eyes shoot up to the stupid bulb and you blink at it a few times. “I…” Your gaze drifts back to him. “I didn’t tell him.”
Taehyung drops his napkin at the news, his eyes slightly widening as he processes your words.
“We just aren’t talking right now.”
You wince as the words leave your mouth, but it’s true. You are a coward who is just ignoring her best friend because you don’t have the balls to face him. You don’t have the balls to forgive him and you definitely don’t have the balls to inform him that he’s out of the picture for a month. Because you don’t have the balls to admit to yourself you chose a boy over your friend. Basically you’re just a bitch with no balls!
“Yeah, he isn’t really talking to me either.” Taehyung chuckles bitterly, “He’s really against this…I mean, I knew he was protective over you but—”
“Protective my ass.” You lean back in your chair, “He’s just being stupid.”
Taehyung looks at you and frowns. It makes you want to kiss his pouting lips.
“But thank you.”
Taehyung’s quizzical expression makes you snort,
“For the compliment. Thank you. You look really handsome as well.” You smile, your hand sliding across the table to hold his. You gently squeeze and pull back, letting go. Taehyung smiles at you but something strange settles in his eyes. He’s struck with an awkward expression as he forces another smile, his lips pulled together tightly.
“Thanks y/n” He opens his mouth then closes then opens, “For doing this. Seriously, thank you.”
“Well, you’re kind of supplying me with free coffee.” You laugh into your hand.
“Regardless,” Taehyung leans back in his chair, “You’re a good friend.”
Right. Friend... But you feel optimistic you will flee this place! The god forsaken friend zone! You smile at Taehyung, grabbing your fork and cutting into the cookie with it. You stare into Taehyung’s dark eyes as you bring the fork to your lips—okay yes, you are most definitely trying to make this sexy—you open your mouth wide and wrap you lips around the piece of cookie, you never break contact with Taehyung. You chew slowly and roll your eyes to the back of your head, like the dramatic ass bitch you are. You open an eye to see his reaction, you see him gulp and a small smile begins forming on his lips.
“mmm” you moan again.
“RIGHT?!”
~~~
“We got some pretty insta worthy photos!” Taehyung chuckles into your hair as he pulls back from the hug. “I would say tonight was a success!”
Right. A success. Because this is all for show. To get this Anna girl off his back. Not because he likes you or anything. You can’t help but feel disappointed in his words.
“That’s good Tae.” Your hands linger on his back, not wanting to let go completely. “I’ll see you tomorrow right?”
“And the next day and the next day,” he teases, “And don’t forget this weekend is the pool party at my friend Jin’s house.” Then Taehyung nibbles on his lips, “Jungkook is going…so you should probably talk to him.”
You probably should of figured Jungkook is going to go…but that doesn’t stop you from feeling shocked. You should tell him he needs to lay low in public for a month but you guys aren’t talking already so do you really have to have that discussion with him?
“We’ll see.”
Taehyung steps forward and grabs your hand, “y/n…I know I said no Jungkook but I really just meant that you two aren’t all over each other in public…you don’t have to ignore him at home too…I’m sure he isn’t feeling great about it. And honestly, it makes me feel guilty too.” He admits softly, his hand feels sweaty in yours.
“He’s an asshole.” You let go of his hand, you feel your chest tighten and you hate yourself.
“Why?”
“It doesn’t matter. I should get inside now.”
“Okay…” Taehyung leans in for another quick hug and places a kiss on your forehead. You wish you could enjoy it but on the other side of this forehead are thoughts of Jungkook. Once again, that son of a bitch.
~~~
The next few days pass quickly, you and Taehyung have gone on two more dates.
The second date felt like a movie—it was classic and dreamy. Taehyung picked you up and drove you over to the next town that was having a carnival. You walked around holding hands, eating cotton candy and laughing at his jokes. The night ended with the ferris wheel, where you two got some insta worthy pictures—one shot including his lips on yours.
It felt so surreal. He posted it on Instagram that night with the caption ‘Her’ with purple hearts and within a couple hours there were at least 50 comments congratulating the two of you.
Third date you two went to a drive in theater. You fed each other popcorn, talked over the radio’s audio and took snaps to prove your date to the world.
This week has been nothing short of amazing. Taehyung is absolutely perfect. You feel like the only girl in the world with him. Like you don’t have to compete with anyone. Unfortunately, the week may have felt amazing on the outside, on the inside it’s been…weird.
The weird part of this week is the lack of Jungkook. Your usual cereal at noon on Tuesdays didn’t happen, your usual weekly episode of My Hero didn’t happen, your usual chit chat and banter didn’t occur. Just silence and awkward passes.
It’s all your doing though…Jungkook has tried. He still sat at the breakfast table munching on Apple Jacks while you passed him by, walking out your front door to meet Taehyung. He saved this week’s episode to your list so you could watch it. He has sent you multiple texts saying he’s sorry and he misses you but you ignored them. You have purposely started putting a distance between the two of you and it makes you uncomfortable.
You remind yourself that, besides doing this because Taehyung requested it, it is also for the best.
~~~
You sit at the edge of your bed staring at the bouquet of flowers Taehyung had sent you this morning. You eye the flowers, taking in their gorgeous appearance. They’re open and full and colorful. But why do you look at them and feel disappointed?
They seem to be begging for water, so you stand to your feet and grab the bouquet. You head for the kitchen to find your mothers crystal vase so you can place the beautiful flowers in it.
Jungkook is sitting at the breakfast table, slurping on some noodles and playing on his phone. You completely ignore him as you walk into the kitchen.
You stand on your tip toes to try to reach the vase in the cupboard but it’s too high for you. God damn it, you think. There’s no way in hell you’re asking Jungkook for help, no way in hell!
*about 10 pathetic seconds later*
“Jungkook, will you help me?”
You don’t even turn around to face him, you just raise your voice so hears you. Yeah, you’re a coward. You hear the screech of the chair against the tiled floor and you shiver. Jungkook doesn’t say anything as he walks up behind you, his chest coming flush against your back and you swear if he tried to pay attention he could probably feel your heartbeat through the contact. You stay frozen as he reaches his arms above you and grabs the vase. He must of just done laundry because his detergent fills your nostrils, its clean and refreshing. He sets the vase down on the counter and he continues to stand closely behind you, his scent now overwhelming your senses.
“These flowers are pretty.” He leans down to say in your ear. His hand coming down to hold on to your waist. “But you only like tulips.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes, “These are fine too.”
“Yeah, they are.” He admits. “But they’re not what you want.” He squeezes your waist, then he’s backing away from your body and a chill is left behind as he gets further away. It’s like the further he walks away from you the colder you become. As if Jungkook is the source of your warmth.
~~~
It’s Saturday afternoon and you are finally done getting ready. Taehyung is taking you out to a pool party today, hosted by one of his close friends—Jim? No, Jin. You know you’ve heard Jungkook talk about him before but haven’t gotten the chance to meet him since he’s a bit older and already graduated.
You look in the mirror as you tug your oversized shirt over your shorts. Underneath is a plain black bikini but unfortunately today is not a good day—you’re bloated as hell and it shows. At least you think it does. You continue to rate yourself in the mirror when Jungkook walks past your room.
“Didn’t know you were so self obsessed.” He pops in to say.
You turn to face him and as soon as he sees your frustrated expression he knows you’re on the verge of waterworks.
“Woah woah, whats wrong?” Jungkook is quick to rush to your side. You’ve been ignoring him for a week yet he still rushes to you when you need him. You’re a god damn bitch.
“I feel fat but I have a pool party to attend to and—”
“You’re going to that too…?” Jungkook eyes the ground under his feet. He sounds disappointed.
You try to steady your breathing but you feel a breakdown coming and Jungkook can sense it too.
“You’re not fat.” He states plainly.
“You wouldn’t know with these clothes I’m wearing.” You try to reason.
“Then take them off and show me.” He’s obviously aware of the bathing suit underneath but still, his words do something strange to you.
“No, I’m ugly.” Is all you respond with.
“y/n I don’t have time for this, either show me or like, don’t go.”
“Fine!”
You begin unbuttoning your shorts, painfully slow. He watches as you fumble with the zipper as you slide it down. You drag the shorts down your legs one by one and then you reach for the hem of your shirt pulling it over your head. This leaves you half naked and feeling incredibly vulnerable.
Jungkook eyes you up and down quite shamelessly. His tongue darts out to lick his lip and he muffles a groan,
“You look fine.” He says so nonchalantly it makes you want to pull his hair out.
“Just fine?”
“You look good y/n” he says, his eyes sliding to the left. You don’t feel quite satisfied with his answer so you step towards him, getting so close he is forced to step back until his back is against the wall.
“How good?” you say, your voice dipping lower than usual, “So good you would—"
Bbbrrrr bbbrrrr bbrrrrr bbrrrr
Your phone.
“Hello? ….Hey Tae. No need, I’ll just meet you at your car. Okay, bye.” You click the phone off and throw it on your bed. You gather your clothes and put them back on as Jungkook stands there awkwardly. Once you have your things you turn to face Jungkook.
“Well Tae is here…” you motion towards the door. “Look, if you’re going to be at the party can you try to…respect my fake relationship? We wanna make it as real as poss—”
“I get it.” Jungkook snaps before walking out your bedroom. Fantastic.
~~~
“And this is y/n.” Taehyung pushes you forward by the shoulders as you stumble in front of all these new faces.
“Hi everyone.” You squeak out.
Everyone gives you a warm welcome, many handshakes and hugs later you feel well acquainted. You notice a familiar face. He’s laughing with Jin over some beers and you smile in their direction. Namjoon, a friend you met freshmen year. He notices you look in his direction and he waves you over. So you walk towards him and Jin, Namjoon handing you a drink as you get closer.
“Long time no see y/n!” his dimples light up the entire backyard. He glances between you and Taehyung, who is chatting with some others.
“You and our Taehyungie, huh?” He grins at you, “honestly, I thought you would end up with Jungkook.” You can’t help but blush at that. A real deep blush. Namjoon chuckles but his eyes hold pity.
“no no not Jungkook.” You laugh awkwardly.
“Well, Jungkook has always spoken really highly of you so I am sure Taehyung is a lucky guy.” Jin chimes in.
For some reason you feel sick at that. Jungkook speaks highly of you? Yet here you are ignoring him for another guy. You are avoiding your own best friend because of a boy. Fuck, you are the worst.
“thanks guys…well, I’m gonna go see Tae.”
You walk over to Taehyung, and when he spots you he absolutely lights up. His boxy grin taking over his entire face.
“There’s my girl,” he pulls you in for a hug and places a kiss to your head. You want to melt, you want to feel the lava of love drown you but instead you feel anxious as you notice Jungkook from across the yard. He’s got a beer to his lips and his eyes on you.
“Thanks for doing this y/n.” Taehyung also catches the pair of eyes watching the two of you. He meets Jungkook’s hard gaze and automatically Taehyung is filled with anxiety as well. Jungkook just shakes his head towards his friend and takes a generous sip of his drink.
“Everything okay?” you ask, squeezing his hand in yours.
“Everything is fine.” He says with a tight lip smile. “Just glad you’re here.” He says honestly.
A few hours pass, and the whole gang is crowded in the pool. Mostly everyone is drunk, but you are pretty sober. Not wanting a repeat of last weekend. Yikes, amirite ladies? Taehyung has his hands all over you, which you don’t really mind. The thought of him touching you was once something that might make you faint but you’ve grown comfortable. Your eyes scan the pool when you notice Jungkook is nowhere to be found. Did he go home already? Maybe he was feeling so down because you’ve been ignoring him…god, you hate yourself. You just need to talk to him. You’re a shitty friend, for sure.
“I’m gonna be right back,” you whisper to Taehyung. He only nods his head and continues chatting with his friends.
Jin’s house is beyond nice, and also huge. You are trying to find the bathroom but feel like you are opening every door but the one you’re looking for. There’s only one door left at the end of the main hall and you bet your entire ass it’s the bathroom. You reach for the door knob when you hear something muffled on the other side. Oh, it’s taken.
“Thanks for this.” It’s a woman’s voice.
“No problem.” Its Jungkook. You feel your stomach drop. What makes you feel worse is how detached Jungkook sounds. He sounds far away and broken. The doorknob begins to rattle and you try to make a run for it in time but are too late. The door is swinging open and one of Jin’s friends is walking out and in the background you see Jungkook zipping up his pants. His eyes meet yours and you want to run the fuck away.
“y/n?” Jungkook’s eyes expand twice their size as he spots you.
“I was…I was just looking for the bathroom.”
Jungkook’s face hardens, “Well, you found it.” He makes his way to pass you but you grab on to his arm to stop him.
“Wait,” you breathe in and out, trying to give yourself time to think of what you want to say.
“What is it?” his voice is somehow softer than he probably intended.
“I want to talk to you…explain to you why I’ve been ignoring you.”
“Yeah, you’re still pissed at me, I fucking get it.” He spits out bitterly.
“It’s…it’s more than that.”
“More than that? Did I do something more? What did I do? y/n just tell me…” He rocks back and forth on his heels, his eyes glued to the ground.
“You’re going to be so mad at me, maybe even hate me—”
“You know I could never hate you.” He whispers, sounding so sincere it crushes you.
You glance around your surroundings, making sure no one is around and drag him back into the bathroom for some privacy. You shut the door behind you, trying so hard to ignore the smell of sex.
“Tae thought—” you begin but Jungkook is already rolling his eyes to the back of his head.
“Of course Tae thought.” His tone almost scares you. “Let me guess? Taehyung doesn’t want me around while you guys are fake dating. That’s not fucking weird to you?” He grits between his teeth. He balls up his fists at his side, you see his knuckles turn white and it makes you feel uneasy.
“He made some good points…”
“Oh really?” Jungkook laughs bitterly, “Like what?”
You looked into Jungkook’s doe eyes and feel a sense of guilt, like you somehow made the wrong choice.
“He thinks we’re too close. And he’s right. It would be weird if I’m super closer to another guy while dating him.” you reason, but your face falls when you see Jungkook’s scrunched up expression.
“You think we’re too close?” he whispers.
Well, yes. But also, no. Of course not, but also yes. How do you tell Jungkook all of that?
“People always think we’re dating or fucking or—”
“Oh? And all the sudden we care what people think?” his voice wavers from the rollercoaster of emotions he is feeling.
“Jungkook wait, I’m wording this all wrong. It’s just for a month okay?”
“You wanna date him that badly? That you would throw me away?” he grits out.
“Hey! That’s not fucking fair.”
“So what? Say your little fantasy comes true and he decides he wants to date you for real? Am I still out of the picture?”
“No no, of course not…” you shake your head and reach for his hands but he pulls away.
“So then what’s the difference now?”
Jungkook has a good point but you’re at a loss for words. Too choked up to speak.
“And you know what y/n? Fuck you for choosing him over me in the first place.” And with that Jungkook breezes past you, swings open the bathroom door and is out of your view.
Jungkook has never spoken to you like that before, you stand there with your mouth hung open and tears forming in your eyes.
He’s right. You fucked up. You did a fucked up thing. You chose a boy who may not even actually like you over the one guy who has always had your back.
“y/n?” you snap your head in the direction of the door to see Taehyung standing there. A look of disappointment decorating his face.
“I was told you and Jungkook were in the bathroom…” he spits out.
“I had to talk to him, that’s all.”
“Yeah, but how does this look for me?” Taehyung speaks sternly. You did NOT need this right now.
“Tae—”
“You couldn’t even last more than a week y/n.” he scoffs.
“Listen could we just talk about this later?” you ask with pleading eyes.
“I’ll call an uber.” He motions towards the hallway, “we can talk tomorrow.”
You slump your shoulders and nod your head, tomorrow sounds like it’s for the best.
3 days have passed and neither Jungkook nor Taehyung have talked to you.
You hear Jungkook come in and out of the apartment but you’re too shy to make a move outside of your bedroom. He’s either coming from classes, the gym, Jimins, or some girls house and you’re dying to know which.
You have been hibernating in your room, taking comfort in your bed when you get a notification from Instagram.
@V tagged you in a post.
You scramble to unlock your phone so you can view the post. Once you are on the app you click on you notifs and click on the post.
It’s a picture of you eating cotton candy from when he took you to the fair on your date. With the caption:
“Missing my girl tonight”
And a bunch of heart emojis. Your own heart sinks. He misses you? You close the app and instead open your messages.
y/n 9:08pm
You miss me for the show or is there some truth behind that?
Taehyung 9:20pm
Maybe it’s both?
Taehyung 9:22pm
I am sorry for how I left things…I was just kinda embarrassed that my supposed girl was with another guy,,,in a bathroom.
y/n 9:24pm
trust me I know how it looks and im sorry…
y/n 9:26pm
If it makes you feel any better Jungkook isn’t talking to me either.
Taehyung 9:26pm
Of course that doesn’t make me feel better, he is your best friend…
y/n 9:28pm
tae, I hope we can continue this…I still want to help you…
Taehyung 9:34pm
Ill pick you up at 6 for a date tmrw: )
y/n 9:34pm
I cant wait: ) : )
You click your phone off and toss it on the other side of the bed, you squeal in excitement as the realization hits that Taehyung still wants to do this with you.
You hear Jungkook on the other side of the wall, yelling into what you assume is his headset. He’s gaming. You miss him so god damn much. He has no idea what his silence is doing to you. You try to focus your attention on tomorrows date with Taehyung but you can’t help the feeling in the pit of your stomach. Guilt. You were an awful friend and now thinking about it you are continuing to be an awful friend. If he even counts you as friends anymore.
“fuck you”
Those words ring loud and clear in your ears. You didn’t even know Jungkook was capable of speaking to you like that. It fucking hurts.
Jungkook is in his room pacing back and forth. He saw it. The insta post. And he feels like he’s losing you. Neither of you have made a move to speak to the other. He’s just too hurt and you continue to see Taehyung? You obviously don’t feel too bad about the whole ordeal. And 3 days is just too long. A week was too long, but somehow these 3 days are worse.
Jungkook grabs his phone and opens up tinder. He messages one of the girls that’s been teasing him lately. He figures now is the time to make more of a move.
Jungkook 10:00pm
Hey ;) what are you doing tonight?
Leslie 10:10pm
Gonna be thinking about you probably;)
Jungkook 10:12pm
Instead of thinking about me, come see me.
And that was it, that’s all it took. She was quick to agree and he is already sending her the address.
It’s after 11pm when you hear the front door open, you quietly get out of bed, curiosity getting the best of you. Was Jungkook leaving? But then you hear a girls voice and you immediately frown. Oh. She sounds pretty. Is that even a thing? Well, she does. And it has you feeling weird. You thought you were over this.
You hear the patter of their footsteps walking towards Jungkook’s room, the sound of his door opening and closing just like that.
You walk back to your bed feeling ashamed for spying, but now you know you won’t be getting any sleep tonight. Fanfuckingtastic.
“aaahhh…” the random girl whines out causing you to shift uncomfortably in your bed.
“More?” you can hear Jungkook’s muffled voice, he sounds strained. Probably because he’s fucking some girl a few feet away from you.
You reach over to your nightstand for your headphones when you hear Jungkook grunting as the beds headboard bangs against your wall, he groans and moans and you feel yourself getting hotter.
You try not to imagine Jungkook in these scenarios but he sounds…no, you won’t have those thoughts…you don’t want to remember. Your hand is still midair when you retreat it back to your bed.
“Fuck yeah baby.” You hear him gripe. And you squeeze your thighs together. No, this cannot be happening.
“Jungkook! Jungkook!” Fuck, she sounds so fucked out.
“Feels so good, feels so good” he pants over and over and you feel the back of your eyes burn.
“gonna come” he groans out and your chest is heaving now, your breathing becoming a chore. You can’t cry, not over this. He hates you and he’s buried in some other girl. And you want to fucking crying about it. You hear him moaning on the other side of the wall and then—
“Fuuuuuuccckk” his orgasm is fucking apparent. He’s obviously coming and you’re lying in your bed all fucking pathetic with tears staining your cheeks.
Jungkook lays in bed totally fucked out of his mind. This girl is sleeping next to him, trying to her best to cuddle but he resists. He wishes he had time to himself to think properly. He just fucked another girl and thought of you the entire time. He is 100% fucked up. Wait, wait. He needs to explain himself…it’s not like he thought of you like, sexually. It’s just you’re all that’s on his mind. Even during fucking sex. And he hates himself for it.
He decides to sneak out of bed to have a shower. He creaks open his door for any sign of life and when there is none he tip toes to the bathroom. Jungkook stands in the shower letting the warm water cascade over his skin, he just stands there lifeless.
Images of you cross his mind and he sinks to his knees, pulling them into his chest and he quietly curses under his breath. He misses you so much and things have gotten so messed up he just doesn’t even know how to fix it.
He scrubs himself clean, ridding the scent of the random girl he brought over. He sniffles under the raining water hating himself.
Jungkook dries himself off with your towel, and puts on his shorts. His chest left bare.
He exits the bathroom when he notices a light coming from the kitchen and sees you sitting at the table with a glass of water.
“oh.” Jungkook slips up.
“oh?” you wonder.
“I thought you were fast asleep.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish grin.
“Just woke up.” You lie through your teeth with a strained smile. “Couldn’t sleep…”
“I know the feeling…” he admits, walking closer to you.
Jungkook makes his way to the table before pulling out a chair and sitting down next to you.
“Listen—”
“Jungkook—”
You both begin talking at the same time. Jungkook ushers you to go first.
“I…I’m still fake dating Tae.”
“I know.”
“But…” your eyes gloss over, getting choked up trying to continue. “But I am so sorry.” A few tears spill from your eyes.
“I know y/n.” he reaches his hand to squeeze your knee. You feel so much better with him touching you. “I’m sorry too…I was really harsh. And it pains me every day that I haven’t talked to you.”
“Trust me, I get it. I wanted to like, kill myself not talking to you.” Your eyes slam shut as more tears threaten to fall.
Jungkook’s face morphs into a deep frown, “You know I don’t like when you say that…”
“Right…sorry.”
“Honestly y/n…I don’t know when I will be okay with this, but I’ll respect your wishes for the month.”
“Jungkook…” Your hand flies down to his and you squeeze it but he’s quick to let it go.
“I’m mad at you right now.” He admits softly, his breathing is slow and steady. “So just give me some space.”
~~~
Like magical clockwork you hear light knocking on your front door. You scramble to find your phone and your purse to make it to the door in good time but you hear it being creaked open and the voices of two men. Shit, Jungkook got to the door first.
Ever since you started fake dating Taehyung it seems Jungkook has been keeping a distance from him. You aren’t sure why but they’ve been weird. So you want to avoid as much awkwardness as possible. You grab all your belongings and rush to the living room and find the two men sitting on the sofa quietly chatting.
“Can you keep your voice down dude?” Taehyung peers over his shoulder, looking in the direction of your room. “Would if she hears?”
“I wish she would fucking hear,” Jungkook grits through his teeth, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, “Why don’t you just tell her?” he leans back on the back of the sofa, “She might be understanding, hm? Do it before it’s too late or I swear to god Taehyung I will tell her myself.”
“You swore you wouldn’t say shit. Just like how I swore not to say any—”
“Okay.”
“I’ll tell her dude. Just give me some time to—"
Jungkook’s eyes shoot up when he hears the light creak of your bedroom door open, he waits expectantly for you to walk through.
“Hey guys,” you announce your presence and both boys look up at you and smile. Taehyung with his boxy grin and Jungkook with a tightlipped smile.
“Hey y/n, you look nice,” Taehyung stands to his feet and walks towards you, “I mean, you always do.” He stops just in front of you and hands you a bag.
“What’s this?” you take the bag and jingle it around a bit.
“just something for our date.” He grins. “You can open it later.” Taehyung glances over at Jungkook, “Anyway, let’s get going. See you later man.” He nods toward the boy and faces you again. “shall we?”
You smile up at Taehyung and take his hand in your yours and lead him towards the front door but before you leave you and Jungkook make eye contact and he frowns.
Taehyung being the gentlemen he is runs to the car before you and opens your car door.
“Feet inside?” he asks and you’re nodding yes when he shuts the door for you. He runs around the other side and enters the car himself. Taehyung settles on an old 50’s station with the volume just right. He’s humming along with a dopey grin on his face, feeling satisfied with his choice.
“Where are we going?” you ask.
“Let’s get some dinner first then we can do our date activity I have planned” he chuckles to himself, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
You drive around in comfortable silence when you decide to take your phone out and shoot Jungkook a text.
y/n 6:14pm
You okay?
Jungkook 6:16pm
Don’t worry about me while you’re out with another guy
“Everything okay?” Taehyung asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“hm? Oh, yeah. Just thinking.” You reply quite honestly.
“About Jungkook?”
“What?? Why would you assume that?” your voice rises in panic.
“Well, we were all just together and I know you and him are fighting…I thought it was a safe assumption.” He laughs awkwardly.
“Oh…right. Actually, me and Jungkook sorted things out kind of but we’re still barely talking.”
“oh? Really?” Taehyungs grip on the steering wheel tightens.
“He said he will steer clear for the month, ya know, in public.”
“He—he agreed?” Taehyung coughs a few times, his head pushed back in disbelief.
“Something like that.” You don’t really know what to say, this is an awkward thing to be talking about and you wish the subject would change.
“Anyway,” you begin, “How did things with Anna escalate?”
Taehyung freezes. The color draining from his face as his knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
“Um.” Taehyung feels sweat beading on his forehead as he tries to come up with an answer.
“You know how it is,” his mouth feels dry as he tries to speak, “She just won’t leave me alone and I want to show her that I am taken so she will get the hint.” Then a sly smile spreads across his face “and I think it’s working.”
“You think so?” you raise a brow in question.
“Well, you are such a convincing girlfriend after all.” His right arm extends towards your knee and he squeezes it. “Thanks again y/n…” he almost sounds…guilty. But you push that thought away and smile at him. Your sweet smile making him feel even guiltier.
~~~
“Dinner was sooo good.” You raise your arms above your head, stretching your body, a satisfied moan leaving you as you lower your arms again.
“I knew you’d like it! Best pizza in town!” Taehyung sets his credit card in the bill holder on the table. “Ready for what I have planned next?”
“hmmm, yes.”
The two of you wait for the server to return so you can finish paying so you can leave. Once all finished up at the restaurant the two of you head back to the parking lot and get inside his car to go to your next destination.
“Your apartment?” you ask as you notice his building coming into view.
“Yes. But you’ll see.” He turns his head quickly to flash you his pearly whites.
The two of you walk to his front door as he unlocks the door. Taehyung has a two bedroom apartment but lives alone. You’ve only ever seen his kitchen and living room and you’re wondering if you’re lucky enough you’ll see his bedroom. Hehe but that’s wishful thinking.
“You have that bag?” Taehyung asks,
“yup,” you say lifting it up and showing him the precious goods.
“Great go put it on!”
You tilt your head in confusion but you see how excited he is so you walk to his bathroom and shut the door behind you. Would if it was lingerie? You giggle to yourself at the ridiculous idea.
You open the bag to find some type of clothing. First, you pull out a large white t shirt and next was an…apron? The apron was a light pink color with a pocket in the front with your initials embroidered on it. You gasp once you realize it, your heart beating out of your chest as you melt into a puddle on the floor. He got your initials on an apron? You hurry to change into the white t shirt and put the apron on.
“Cute.” You murmur to yourself in the mirror before you’re out the door and back into the living room.
“How do you like it?” Taehyung asks from behind you, surprising you with a glass of water. You take the water gratefully and gulp down a few sips before answering.
“love it, but what’s it for?”
Taehyung beams, grabbing your arm and leading you into one of the bedrooms. He stands in front of the door and bounces on his heels.
“Ready?”
“Yes?”
“Never showed anyone this room but I feel like you’re special” Taehyung giggles, “Plus I thought it was a cute date idea.”
“hmm, okay. I’m ready.” You are such a fool for this boy, his cuteness doing a million things to you.
Taehyung begins to slowly open the door revealing a room with tarp covering the ground and easels taking up space. There are buckets of paint, a variety of colors spread all across. And many, many art pieces.
“You…” you begin to say in awe, “You’re an artist, Tae?”
“Aspiring.” He chuckles a bit bitterly. “How would you like to paint together?”
“You feel comfortable enough with me?” you ask, surprised.
“Something about you….” He starts but leaves it hanging. “Let’s paint!”
You dip your paint brush in purple paint and stroke it across the canvas, the color joining a mess of other colors. That’s art, right? Fuck, you are not good at this. You sneak a glance over at Taehyung to see him painting a scenic art piece. There’s mountains and flowers but somehow in an abstract kind of way, you tilt your head to the side trying to eye it more carefully.
“Hey, no peeking!” his bottom lip jutting out in the cutest way. You just want to kiss it.
You stand from your stool and walk over to his, your eyes never leaving his art work.
“I’m trying to figure out what I am looking at. Don’t get me wrong, its super cool. But like there’s this beautiful tree with flowers but also shapes??”
“Its abstract, y/n.” his tone is light and makes you flutter. “I like it this way.” He says softly.
“me too.” You look at him, his eyes meeting yours. His gaze shifts to your lips.
“heh really?” Taehyung’s cheeks turn a wonderful shade of pink, like the flowers on his canvas.
“You really are amazing, aren’t you?”
“Me? Let’s see what you got!” He stands from his stool and begins walking over to your art work.
“No!” you stand in his way, your arms flailing above your head. “It’s not good!” You laugh and push his chest back with your hands, Taehyung wobbles in place as he laughs at your dramatics.
“It can’t be that bad.”
You finally let him walk past you, he stands in front of your canvas with his finger on his chin,
“Okay, it can be that bad.”
Taehyung bubbles with laughter and you hit his shoulder but end up laughing with him.
“I told you.” You pout. Taehyung stares at you, his eyes once again shifting towards your lips and you aren’t going to play dumb, of course you’ve noticed.
“What?” you jut your lip out even more, walking just a bit closer to him.
“Nothing, you’re just cute.” Taehyung admits. His long fingers brush against your cheek as he pushes a piece of hair behind your ear.
“Like, really cute.”
Well, holy shit. Your heart and also your vagina cannot take this.
“How cute?” you breathe out.
“So cute I could kiss you.” Taehyung walks closer, his foot bumping into yours. “But…” He looks down at the ground, guilt beginning to surface, “y/n I have to tell—”
You tilt your head up and meet his lips for a peck on the lips taking him by surprise. Taehyung knits his brows together and is about to say something when he sighs out instead. One of his hands travel to cup the back of your head to bring you closer to him and he kisses you again. He deepens the kiss. Its slow and there’s no tongue, just lips moving tenderly against one another. You feel so light and airy like you could just float away until he abruptly pulls back.
“What’s wrong?” you panic, worry filling your eyes.
“We—we shouldn’t do that.” He finally says after a moment. Why? It was just some kissing between two people who possibly like each other? It’s not like you were delusional right? It’s not like you were making this up in your head. The flowers, the apron, the dinners, the car door, the ‘missing my girl’, the way he treats you can’t just be because of some fake dating bullshit. You know he is known for his kindness but to this extent?
“Why?” you finally say.
“Because,” Taehyung drags a hand across his face, “No one’s around. Let’s just take our pictures—”
BBrrrrrr bbbrrrr brrrrrr bbbrrrr
Taehyung’s phone is sitting on the table next to where the two of you are, it’s going off and you naturally glance over.
Incoming call: Anna
Taehyung races to turn it off, his face flushing and his hands have become sweaty.
“She…she just doesn’t give up.” He chuckles awkwardly, his phone in his grasp as you hear the buzzing of incoming messages.
“Is that her too?” you ask, feeling sorry for him.
“Uh, yeah…probably.” He says, his eyes looking all over the room but never on you.
“Well, let’s see what she’s saying.” You say nonchalantly, reaching for his phone but he yanks his hand back and barks a loud ‘No’. Startled, you step away from him.
“Sorry, I just…” he rubs his neck.
“No no, it’s okay, I shouldn’t have reached for your phone like that…” Something is off, You can feel it. But you want to push that feeling away.
“Let’s just take the pictures, I need to get home soon.”
“Yeah, okay.” Taehyung forces a smile.
~~~
Something is off with Taehyung. The way he wanted to kiss you but then pulled back. The way he got super weird after Anna called. Has she traumatized him that much? Is she like a real, legit stalker who is totally and completely obsessed with him? You feel bad for the guy, he seems like he probably has trust issues or something. Maybe he thinks you might turn out to be like her and he’s scared of that so that’s why he is pushing you away.
That’s gotta be it. You roll around in your bed about to finally get some sleep when you hear music blaring through the wall. Jungkook. You roll your eyes at his choice of timing. The clock reads after midnight, why the hell is he blasting music at this time?
You rise from your bed and storm into his room. Jungkook looks surprised to see you as he is in the middle of doing pushups—shirtless.
His muscles ripple with every movement and it has you practically drooling.
“Uh, can I help you?” Jungkook doesn’t look very annoyed, mostly amused.
“It’s late, Jungkook. Can you turn this shit down?”
“Can’t. Didn’t get a work out in today…so here I am.” He rises to his feet, shrugging.
The music is some horrible rock back that you can’t stand and Jungkook knows this. He fucking knows this. Wow, he really is mad at you still.
“Listen dude,” you put your hands on your hips, “I’ve had a weird day and I just want to relax.”
“Oh baby, I can think of a way for you to relax.” He winks. You want to puke, why is Jungkook so gross.
“Ew.”
“So…how was it?” Jungkook’s eyes fall to the ground.
“What?”
“How—how was your date with Taehyung?” he doesn’t raise his eyes, they stay glued to the floor.
“It was…” you get flashbacks to the awkward date, “fine.” You finish, not wanting to give Jungkook any more reason to dislike you and Taehyung together. “Yeah, it was fine” you force a smile.
“You know I know better than anyone when you’re lying.” He says, finally looking at you again.
Fuck. He’s right, if anyone knows you and your lying habits its Jungkook. He can read you like his favorite book. And it’s like, a picture book. Super fucking easy.
“It was fine Jungkook.” You lie again.
“What happened?” his tone eases into something softer, something more comforting and it almost makes you break and tell him the truth. Almost. But not quite.
“Nothing happened. Keep the music down, I’m going to bed.”
Jungkook watches as you spin on your heels to exit his bedroom, his eyes caving and watching your ass the entire time. He has a love-hate relationship with your house shorts, they’re sexy as hell and that’s the problem.
Jungkook turns the volume down on his speakers and sits on the edge of his bed. His head falls into his hands as he thinks about your date with Taehyung. Something must have happened. He knows it. He feels it. But he can’t force you to tell him.
He lays back on his bed and his face hardens as he thinks more about your fake relationship. He wants to beat Taehyungs ass. He wish he could tell you but it’s not his place and he just wishes Taehyung will do the right thing.
While staying loyal to Taehyung is he betraying you?
~~~~
Best friend: “A person you value over other friends in your life, someone you have fun with, someone you trust and someone in whom you confide.” That’s how the dictionary would describe the word but in Jungkook’s dictionary it would just be your cute face. Everything about you is cute to him, the way you walk, talk, dress, sneeze, just everything.
Even when you look gross as hell in the mornings dealing with a nasty hangover he still viewed you as…cute.
When Jungkook first noticed you was in his Literature class that took place on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He knew you always sat in the back and took your notes without really paying him any attention. And not to sound like a cocky bastard but…why not? He obviously thought you were pretty and there was something about you…
The second time he noticed you was at some frat party where he caught you staring at him and he thought he finally might have a chance at talking to you. Or get in your pants at least. He could one and done this situation and move on with his life but much to his surprise you weren’t interested in getting dicked down by him. No, you were interested in just…hanging out. Which he wasn’t use to. Most girls just wanted to say the got with the Jeon Jungkook and don’t pay him any mind for something serious. Because apparently he isn’t the type of guy you could be “serious” with. It’s not like he doesn’t hear the rumors. He hated this honestly…but he guesses it’s his own fault.
He even playfully offered to take you upstairs that night but you refused him. Much too shy. So he got a better idea: the 24 hour diner down the road.
You ended up talking until 9 am the next morning, laughing and snorting, telling tons of stories that cracked the two of you up. He even shared deeply personal information with you that shocked the both of you. But it just felt right—talking to you. He felt like he could open his heart to you, like he was making a real friend.
Jungkook doesn’t have much of a dating history…he mostly just sleeps around and is okay with that—because he has to be. Like what was said earlier, Jungkook isn’t a guy you get “serious” with and all the girls knew that. It just started with one girl spreading the fact he isn’t the type to ‘do’ relationships. He thought this would cause girls to try harder and try to change him or whatever. But none cared enough. He guesses…he just isn’t worth it. Does Jungkook yearn for something more? You wouldn’t know because he has never voiced it. Even though he isn’t lucky in love, he did get super lucky in a friend. That’s you. He cherishes your friendship more than anything in the world and wouldn’t do anything to risk ruining it.
3 years ago
“What about you?” you smile at him with all your teeth, “What are your parents like?”
You didn’t know at the time but this question made Jungkook feel the very dread he avoids feeling.
He looked into your wide eyes and couldn’t help the sigh that escapes his lips.
“Dad cheated the whole time and moms not around anymore.” Jungkook picks at his cuticles.
You felt a pang of guilt for bringing it up…but you were too curious to stop.
“Where did she go?” you can’t seem to stop yourself from asking.
Jungkook pauses his bad habit, his fingers coming to a halt.
“Can we change the subject?” he finally says, a small smile spreading across his lips, “It’s like, uh…a touchy subject. Ya know?” he almost looks as if he feels bad that he can’t confide in you.
“I promise I will tell you about it someday.” He swears with his pinky joining your pinky. You felt content with his answer but somehow you knew he probably never would.
Jungkook lays in his bed with his head dangling off the edge. Its 10 at night and you’re still not back. You had another date with Taehyung today—he knows because he follows the both of you on Instagram and you posted a photo of Taehyung in front of a mural that’s located just downtown. He grabs his phone to check your location and unfortunately you are still in the same spot—Taehyungs apartment. He hates this. Why does he hate this? Because Taehyung doesn’t deserve you and what he’s doing is not right. But he can’t tell you that because none of this is his business. Instead all he does is piss you off and he hates himself for it.
He truly thinks the world of you, he truly wants nothing but the best for you and he truly loves you. You’re his best friend.
Jungkook starts to doze off when he hears the front door being unlocked. It’s you.
Quickly, Jungkook jumps to his feet and scurries to his bedroom door and places his ear over the wood. He hears you talking…then another voice. You’re not alone. Its muffled but he makes out what you’re saying.
“It was amazing T,” oh, you’re with Trina. “He got me flowers, took pictures of me and got all my best angles.” He hears you giggling then another voice joins you in your laughter.
“I told you! This was a great idea!” Trina says, Jungkook rolls his eyes.
“He was such a gentlemen the whole time and it…I know it’s not real but I don’t know man…it feels real sometimes.”
“Girl, he would be stupid not to have a thing for you.” For once, Trina and Jungkook agree on something.
“I would actually kill myself if he did!” you giggle.
Jungkook goes rigid at your words, his jaw clenching so hard it ticks. He hates when you say shit like that, it creates a suffocating bubble around him that’s too hard to pop.
.
Jungkook decides he’s eavesdropped enough and settles back on his bed. He lays back, his arms folded behind him. He feels beyond frustrated and doesn’t know what could cure this. Well, maybe sex? Maybe he should call up some girl…maybe that could make him feel better. But somehow that didn’t appeal to him so much in this moment when his brain is occupied of you. So he settles for himself. It’s been a while since Jungkook gave himself a handy but he’s not opposed of going for it.
The lights are off and Jungkook is deciding if he wants to watch porn or settle for his imagination. A girl he use to hook up with enters his mind and he decides to roll with it, he dips his hands underneath his boxers to feel up his hardening length. He reaches for his nightstand to squirt some lube in his hand, his cock is only half hard by the time he’s gently stroking himself. The skin on his cock is smooth with few veins decorating the length, he’s already leaking precum while his imagination starts up.
He thinks of this girl and her lips, how she looks with them wrapped around his greedy cock and he becomes even harder. Fuck, he can’t remember her name—a piece of shit move but he doesn’t care at this point. He’s stroking himself faster, gathering the precum at his tip and smearing it around. A light moan escapes his lips as he tugs on the head of his cock harder. His other hand drags his boxers down his legs as his continues to stroke himself and then reaches to fondle his balls. He groans at the sensation.
He then thinks of the girls ass in the air, her wiggling it around and begging him to fuck her. Her ass is round and plump, it jiggles slightly as she squirms below him. His hand moves quickly as his thoughts get dirtier. He doesn’t see her face just her ass and her voice sounds a lot like…yours. Fuck, he can’t be thinking of you right now. He’s pissed at you, his thoughts growing angry yet somehow his hand doesn’t stop. He’s so close it fucking hurts.
“Fuck…y/n..” he whimpers into his shoulder. He now sees your face, underneath him, your hair all splayed out. Your lips are swollen and you whine for him, begging for him to fuck into you faster. Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut at that image, his hand stroking him impossibly fast as he is beginning to lose all composure. He shouldn’t be thinking of you right now, or ever—not like this. But he hears you beg for him, he imagines flipping you over, demanding you to raise your ass in the air. You beg to be punished, you beg for him to spank you, and he does. He pulls his hand back and slaps your needy ass and you whimper. He does it again and again.
He sees himself insert his cock into your pussy and he’s thrusting in and out like his life depends on it. Jungkook’s hand squeezes desperately around his throbbing member, he cries out quietly as he fucks you in his mind.
He imagines you reaching your own high, your moans and screams ringing in his ears and that’s what sets him over the edge. His cum spurts out of his swollen cock, spraying all over his hand as he begins to come to a stop on himself.
“fuck fuck fuck fuck” Jungkook is out of breath, his fantasy too much for him to handle. “What the fuck did I just….”
He sits in complete silence as his breathing comes down. Did he just? He is not supposed to do that.
#bts#bts smut#bts fluff#bts angst#jeon Jungkook#Jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#kim taehyung#taehyung smut#taehyung fluff#taehyung angst
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this all takes place in my poly frontier universe
pairing: triple frontier guys - Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco (Frankie) “Catfish” Morales, and Ben “Benny” Miller x (f) reader
wordcount: 3k
warnings: obviously a poly relationship, which includes kissing, domestic intimacy with all of them (not just with the reader, but not in-between Will and Ben because nope), mild sexual themes
summary: scenes at the beginning of making a house with five people feel like home
<<
The manicured grass is soft where it peaked around the edges of your sandals. Hands running over the grooves of they key in your pocket, you gaze around the little front yard, mind conjuring daydreams that fit on the weathered porch of the house.
Two bathrooms will be enough right? Your thoughts are running - creating and erasing images of the future, trying to squish them like magic into the home in front of you. The yard is big enough to extend the garage and for plenty of home projects…
Across the fence and a long stretch of field, a woman is hiking her skirts up, making a beeline for you. The neighbor’s house is a considerable distance away, being out in the countryside, but she must have been watching your tour from her garden with interest.
The others had left moments before, Santi promising to come back whenever you were done. After weeks of looking at houses, it became a little ritual of yours, to spend a few minutes looking around without the clutter of wonderful distractions.
“So which one of those strapping young men is your beau?” She asks conspiringly, eyes gleaming. It catches you off guard – the lack of introduction, but she seems harmless enough.
Your smile is equally mischievous, and your head tilts a hair.
“Well, which one do you think?”
The woman considers, boot tip tapping away at her grass. You replay the moments she could’ve seen, which were few, wondering if you’d leaned in any particular direction, and wait.
“Now that I think about it, I haven’t got a clue,” her smile is wide, softer and more genuine than before - polite. “As long as you’re good neighbors,” she explains, “I guess I wouldn’t care if it was one or all of you next door.”
You smile, thanking her as salutations ring in your ears, watching with grateful eyes as she hikes back towards her home. Then you move, wandering through the empty rooms for long, quite minutes before you peak over the fence again. The woman had gone inside, and if you squint you can see who you think is her husband, sleeping with a dog on the porch.
In the other directions, there isn’t a house within a reasonable distance. A knot loosens in your chest, as an unexpected feeling of freedom from judging eyes blooms in its place.
When Santi comes back to pick you up, you take his hand across the console. His skin is warm, and his thumb automatically begins to gently move across your knuckles.
“I think it’s perfect, Pope.”
He looks at you curiously, minding his thoughts for a moment.
“Yeah, love?”
The sun was beginning to set, and you look at the peaceful little home in the rear view mirror, and smile.
“Yeah.”
-
“What?”
“We need to … break in every room.”
“I’m just saying -"
“Oh he’s talking about – wait are you really horny, right now?”
“There are boxes everywhere, idiot.”
You walk in carrying a single plant and a stack of pizzas and the conversation hushes.
“Ah – payment,” Frankie kisses your cheek, moving the plant by the window as Santi clears the table.
Someone makes a quip about it being Santi’s house and you wince, the utopia popping.
“We don’t get paid to move our own stuff, Catfish.” His dark hair is damp with sweat but he seems otherwise unaffected by the hours spent hauling. It was still surreal – that this is actually happening, that this unanimously became a long term desire.
He has the most money and Will has the best credit score, so they bought the house to save you all from questions. The movement isn’t lost on your Ironhead, and he rubs a soothing circle on your shoulder as he reaches for a plate. Of everyone, he was the one who most understood your anxiety – close proximity always led to arguments at first.
“You got lucky,” Benny takes the first slice, accepting a napkin for an additional piece. “You fell in love with a pretty good moving crew.”
“I think so,” you grin, trying to ignore your anxiety. He inhales the food, pulling you into his lap as he bickers with Will about whether or not more needed to get done today.
Eventually Frankie dictates that at the very least some cleaning should be started and the bedding should be unpacked for the evening. The agree with varying degrees of enthusiasm and after a handful of innuendos your loves begin to disperse, too dutiful to let work go unfinished. The bedframe practically builds itself, and a portable speaker makes Santi’s hips twitch as he floats through the half-barren rooms.
When Will rolls his eyes at Frankie’s choice of screw, you duck away, nerves thrumming.
And you wander around, fake cleaning, until you find your Benny clearing pizza plates. Even amongst boxes and bins and old blankets, he could be at a photo shoot. The evening light make his hair look like silk, and his eyes shine like he’s making you promises this very moment.
“I wouldn’t worry too much,” he says, drawing you into his arms as your head tilts. “We spent years in bunks and tents, and we were younger then.”
His chest was warm and you press your cheek to it, nodding. You hadn’t thought he had noticed, how anxious you’d been about the change, but you had been foolish. Even through his shirt, you can feel the thumping of his giant heart, steady as a drumbeat.
Replaying the evening in your mind, you let go of some of your worries, one by one, and he kisses the top of your head. It’s a thoughtful thing, and it never ceases to amaze you how easily he can wrap you around his finger.
“Ben?”
He makes a noise, somewhere between a hum and a grunt.
You pull his face down to yours, kissing him hard. It was a kiss that says you're grateful, and a kiss that says you love him for being… him.
He accepts it eagerly, and tiredness from the day long gone ad he presses hot, open-mouthed kisses to your lips. The world spins and you feel him shove something heavy off the couch before replacing it with you.
The cushions are dusty from everything but he makes space, and you stop caring as he moves on top of you.
The others would find you soon, their instincts kicking in, but you savor it. Benny, pressing into you, kissing you in the evening light.
The beginning of their conversation from earlier blooms in your mind and you grin as his lips trailed down your neck. It suddenly didn’t seem implausible that he planned this.
“Breaking in” aside, this was the first room you where you truly felt like this could be home.
-
You feel his hands gently replace yours on the zipper and you jump a little - he stands just outside the mirror reflection as you watch the skirts around your ankles. Behind you the big bed is made neatly, there’s a ridiculously large closet, and a tangle of phone chargers.
The bedroom: the place that set apart your home from others. The room that housed five individuals, a web of relationships, a miracle of mixed bodies and minds and hearts.
It looks big, behind you.
Warm, daft fingers tie the extra strings, a neat little bow hanging just between your shoulder blades. The silence is thick, weighted with adoration, but when he breaks it, it’s as if he can’t resist.
“You’re beautiful,” he moves closer, kissing your temple and drinking you in. Turning, your heart aches.
Will is in his dress uniform, crisscrossed with crisp lines and newly shined awards. His hair is lighter after the summer, and he tried to comb it neatly to one side. Compliments catch in your throat as you stare and he smiles, turning you gently so he can kiss you properly. His mouth tastes like mint and you can smell hints of his cologne lingering on his skin.
“Look at you,” you murmur, lips still brushing over his. Letting your hands wander over his face, smoothing his eyebrows, you feel almost in awe of him. Still, he flushes, pleased at your reaction.
“Thank you.”
His chuckle is warm, almost raspy as he tries to enjoy the quietness of your conversation, and he shakes his head. Really, you were sure he was thankful that he was been the only one free for your special evening.
“Thank you,” you correct him. “You didn’t have to do any of this.” The dinner, for your job.
In the mirror, he looked like diamonds and sapphires and gold. Will was like an action figure sometimes, solid and sculpted and stoic, but… he was looking at you like you’d hung the stars in the sky.
It made you blink, his eyes sliding over you, pupils just a little more blown than the lighting required - a gentle reset demanding your attention.
Looking back in the mirror for a moment, the room didn’t seem quite as big, or quite as revealing. It was comforting, how out of place the two of you looked, dressed to the nines because… this was your place. The softness surrounded by details perfectly woven into your life.
Turning, you slip your arms around his neck, gently musing his hair, and his eyebrows draw together, accepting, but confused.
And as you tuck your hand into his elbow and step into your heels, you resist the urge to thank him again.
“I like it better like this,” you admit, and he flushes again, beaming. Looking around, you realize you’re actually looking forward to coming home more than you’re excited to leave. It’s a new feeling, in this space with the four of them and it hits you, hard in your chest. Still, the man beside you is unwavering and you let the feeling consume you, knowing that you’re safe.
-
“Frankie, what is that?”
He flinches, nervousness cutting the excitement on his face.
“Rhetorical question,” Santi says, grinning at you. “He got it from a friend who was going to toss it out.”
It’s a hot tub, taking up a decent chunk of your back porch.
“If anyone can make it work like a dream, it’s Catfish.” Will’s tone is matter-of-fact, all honesty and pride.
Your sweet Francisco drops his tool and grabs your hand, his dark eyes big. “¿Cariño, por favor? From me, to you?” You can see his laptop up, replacement parts on saved tabs, and you tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He likes to have projects, needs to have somewhere to do things, fix things, create things. Maybe at one point it was because he liked the distraction, it was a … replacement coping mechanism, if you will, but it became his pride, to use his hands to improve your lives.
It doesn’t take long, two weeks at most, between his job and his loves, and his long list of honey-dos, but he does it.
“Please and thank you,” you say, and when he kisses you, slow and deep and happy, you hear cheers and high-five and you almost can’t kiss him because he’s smiling.
And it takes awhile to fill, (Will thanking the stars that the water bill is reasonable,) and even longer to heat, and then it’s ready. The boys yank on swim trunks, thanking Frankie with enthusiasm, and you watch them sink into the steaming tub with as they sigh.
You have a bathing suit, of course you do, but you pull on one of his work shirts, knowing he won’t mind the chemicals from the water making the stains blur. And you pair of shorts you caught him watching your butt in, thinking of acknowledging his hard work in your own way.
The volume of your bodies makes it overflow, hot water sloshing onto the ground, but it’s bliss. It’s big, and they shout over the bubbles, talking excitedly about the future, and your heart feels warm in your favorite way.
The others leave early, taking loud laughter with them, and it leaves you and your Catfish. You let yourself float, moving right on top of him, and his hands grab at your hips, slipping and sliding over your skin as he kisses you once, twice. Slow.
It’s late – the stars stretch, there’s a bit of a breeze, and there’s not a light on for miles.
“You like it?” his voice is raspy, quiet, intense, but almost shy. Like if you said no it would break him in two.
“Of course I do, Frankie.” He looks pleased, hand absentmindedly running under his shirt and over your side. Even with the heat of the water, his hand feels like socks warmed in the dryer some cold winter morning. Comforting, maybe a little electric.
You let out a long, happy sigh, and settle against him, content to stay with him until you’re pruny.
“I think…. This is exactly what this house needed.” He starts a little, surprised, but it’s not an exaggeration.
There was always work to do and things to change, but it was the first time you looked out, and didn’t feel a twinge of fear, that anyone was looking in. It would’ve felt vulnerable, intimate to be so exposed, but… it was perfect, because he created it for you. Confidence and pride bubble around you, and Frankie’s eyebrows dip as he smiles – understanding.
-
“Yeah.” Its simple, not too hot, not too cold. Just… right.
It feels like… tar and lava, hot and dark and thick, bubbling and sticky and you want to punch something. Or scream, or cry.
Your Pope finds you standing rigid, smudges of flour on your skin and clothes, pans and spatulas strewn.
“Are we out of sugar?” To your credit, you try to keep your voice even, but he knows you better than that.
Santi shakes his head, plucking it from the pantry and looking guilty. Your mind pauses it’s rampage, and you wince, because you should be the one making that apologetic face, not him. Hot tears bubble in your eyes and you hate it, hate that they’re coming for what feels like no reason.
“Baby,” he says, tone pleading, setting the sugar down and reaching for you. The afternoon sun makes his eyes like rich, deep pots of gold, his hair somehow both soft and statuesque.
When he pauses, the tears fall against your will, just two thick drops down your cheeks. His hand encompasses your whole jaw, thumb gentle as it rubs away the saltwater, and he looks a tad helpless.
And there’s understanding in his eyes and through the blur you think maybe it’s pity. He stands, and your heart clenches, knowing he’ll go get Will, or someone because you’re being ridiculous but… he doesn’t.
You’re saying something about how the kitchen is wrong, how it’s been building for days, you’ve been here almost a week and you can’t fucking find anything. Panic and frustration locked horns in your chest and you couldn’t breathe and all you wanted to do was make something nice –
Instead, he’s pulling out things and piling them onto the floor in categories around you. It’s almost comical the stacks he makes but he seems determined and in your confusion the tears slow to a stop.
“Santi –” he hushes you. The cupboard doors hang open, and he guides you, lifting you up and up and into his arms. It’s solid and grounding, and he’s not as tall as the others and you needed him desperately.
And slowly, you begin to put things away where it makes sense, to you, and he helps. Not once does he argue with you, not even a moment when his dark eyebrows knit together in judgement. Dutifully he cleans and places everything just where you tell him, and you can almost feel the steam rising off of you as you begin to cool.
The final pile is a mountain of cloth, aprons and oven mitts and… something you’ve never seen before. Or actually, something you had, just not in your house. A set of hand towels you’d wistfully looked at awhile ago, before talking yourself out of the purchase. You had dozens at this point and didn’t need more but…
The man seating on the floor, folding them into perfect squares, is the answer to the question your mind produces.
You feel like you’ve been hosed down from head to toe, almost cold from the absence of frustration in your blood.
Pushing the pile to the side you climb into his lap, as determined as he was, and he looks surprised. It’s silly: sitting in your lover’s lap on the kitchen floor, but it feels more real than a movie. It’s your kitchen, yours and his, in this moment.
You kiss him, slow and purposeful and –
He knows you like the back of his hand.
-
You’re sitting on the bathroom counter distracting Santi as he shaves when Benny bursts in to tell you a story.
Will trails behind him, patiently waiting for his brother to take a breathe so he can set the record straight. Absentmindedly he weaves between them to pick up a fallen hand towel, passing it to Pope to wipe the shaving cream from his jaw. They share a moment and Benny’s story stutters out. Looking up from your nails you see Frankie leaning against the doorframe, a toothbrush hanging from his mouth.
There’s hardly room to move – and you couldn’t have it any other way.
His eyebrows are bent as he takes in the four of you, crammed into the spare bathroom, and Ben laughs.
<<
taglist:
@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge @horton-hears-a-honk
for the poly frontier:
@grogusmum
#triple frontier poly fic#poly frontier#will miller x reader#santiago garcia x reader#francisco morales x reader#benny miller x reader#maybe i dont know people
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Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey
Head to head interview
Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.
Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.
Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”
“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.
Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.
LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?
PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.
LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?
PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.
LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.
PP: I kissed your ass.
LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.
PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.
LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?
PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.
LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?
PP: Not you.
LH: I realise that!
PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.
LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?
PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?
LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.
PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.
LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?
PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.
LH: He has some.
PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?
LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!
PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.
LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?
PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.
LH: Because were stupid?
PP: We're stupid.
LH: I can't even make pizza!
PP: We don’t have any other skills.
LH: None at all!
PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.
LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?
PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?
LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.
PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!
LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?
PP: My sister.
LH: Does she watch the show?
PP: Yes, she does.
LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.
PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.
LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.
PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.
LH: And now I’m educated.
PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.
LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?
PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.
LH: Oh, that’s just fake.
PP: Well, you guys were good at it!
LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?
PP: I have hope.
LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.
PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.
LH: You were quite emotional that day.
PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.
LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.
PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?
LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.
PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...
LH: Grey?
PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?
LH: Yes, it is liberating.
PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?
LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.
PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?
LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.
PP: Well, that covers it.
LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know
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Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!
#pedro pascal#lena headey#hunger magazine#shot October 2013#published December 2014#game of thrones#queen cersei#prince oberyn#oberyn#oberyn martell#hunger tv
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Dylan O'Brien - NME Magazine Interview
Dylan O’Brien: “I was in this transitional phase – close to a quarter-life crisis”
From YA heartthrob to legitimate leading man – how the 'Maze Runner' star hit his stride after a whirlwind decade
Definitely!” hoots Dylan O’Brien when NME asks if he still has to audition. “I’m not Tom fucking Hanks, bro.” He’s clearly amused by our question, but forgive us for thinking the 29-year-old actor gets cast on reputation alone. A decade into his career, and he’s making an impressive transition from teen TV star and YA franchise hero to charismatic leading man.
New York-born O’Brien cut his teeth on MTV’s hit Teen Wolf series, before landing the lead in the Maze Runner film trilogy based on James Dashner’s hugely popular novels. Leading a band of bright young things that included ex-Skins tearaway Kaya Scodelario, Game Of Thrones’ Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Will Poulter, he honed his craft while racking up nearly a billion dollars at the box office. “My career is a constant acting class,” says O’Brien. “To be able to do the Maze Runner movies simultaneously with Teen Wolf was amazing in terms of getting in reps and working my [acting] muscle.”
Now for the sometimes tricky bit. Many actors struggle with the post-breakout period, but O’Brien is making it look easy so far. This year’s Netflix hit Love and Monsters proved he can carry an old-school family adventure, and new film Flashback (out next week) reveals an appetite for weirder, more cerebral work. He stars as Fred Fitzell, a young man reluctant to buckle down to life as a nine-to-fiver with a boring corporate job and a long-term girlfriend (Mindhunter‘s Hannah Gross). When he runs into a freaky-looking acquaintance from his teenage years, Fred becomes obsessed with finding an old high-school friend he used to drop a mind-bending experimental drug called Mercury with. It’s difficult to say any more without entering spoiler territory, but Flashback is a wild ride underpinned by the idea that we can exist in several realities at once. Even if you follow every plot twist, you might not fully understand the end. “Oh, it’s definitely a headfuck,” O’Brien agrees. “There’s not totally an answer to figure out. There’s a lot of different things that people can take from it.”
Speaking over Zoom from his LA home, O’Brien is bright, thoughtful and really good fun to talk to, especially when he relaxes into the interview, but he clearly knows where his line between public and private lies. When he first read the Flashback script, written by the film’s director Christopher MacBride, his “mind was blown” by just how much he related to Fred. “I felt like I was in this transitional phase of my life that was, you know, sort of close to a quarter-life crisis type thing,” he says. “For whatever reason, it was like me and this script were meant to be. I remember reading it and thinking: ‘I am this guy right now.'”
“There were a lot of things in my personal life that were neglected for a while”
When we ask why O’Brien felt as though he had reached a “transitional phase”, he gives an answer that’s vague but not exactly evasive. For understandable reasons, he doesn’t mention the incredibly traumatic motorcycle accident he sustained while shooting the final Maze Runner film in March 2016. O’Brien suffered severe trauma to the brain and said in 2017 that he underwent extensive facial reconstructive surgery after the accident “broke most of the right side of my face”. Tellingly, he’s never really revealed what happened on set or how it affected him.
Today, O’Brien dances around the details of the accident and other issues he was dealing with at the time, but doesn’t shy away from discussing his inner conflict. “You know, it was a lot of personal things combined with at-a-point-in-my-career things,” he says after a brief pause. He says he’d have been going through some of this stuff anyway, simply because of his age, but it sounds as though success intensified it all. “It was like this whole fucking storm of shit,” he continues. “I was simultaneously so fulfilled and happy about these, like, otherworldly and surreal things that I had experienced in terms of where my career had brought me. I had all this confidence and fulfilment and beautiful people [in my life] – such amazing things to experience at a young age. But at the same time, there were a lot of things in my personal life that were unchecked and sort of neglected for a while.”
O’Brien says that in time, he realised he had to “stop for a second” and “re-explore how I wanted my life to look going forward”. In fairness, you can see why he needed a breather: his career took off while he was still a teenager. After his family moved from New Jersey to Los Angeles County when he was 12, O’Brien contemplated a career as a sports broadcaster – his Twitter bio still bills him as a “no longer suffering Mets fan” – then began posting YouTube videos as moviekidd826. A funny, slickly edited skit titled ‘How to Prepare for the SAT in 45 seconds’, shared when he was just 17, shows he was a born performer and storyteller. YouTube success led to him getting a manager, but his breakthrough role in Teen Wolf still came out of the blue. At the time, he was treading water at a local community college and taking auditions on the side.
Still, he has since taken a rather fatalistic view of this career-making moment. “It’s totally weird because, when I think about it now, I don’t see how it could have happened any other way. I can’t picture myself doing anything else now,” he told Collider in 2011. “It was really sudden and a little random, and not provoked by anything. It was just out of nowhere. It wasn’t my intentional doing.” Today, O’Brien summarises his skyscraper career trajectory succinctly. “I guess I just graduated high school and started acting,” he says. “And then I felt like I was just flying by the seat of my pants and never got a chance to stop.” Thankfully, straight-out-the-blocks Hollywood success hasn’t taken away his sense of perspective. When I say how easy social media makes it to compare yourself unfavourably to others, O’Brien jumps in: “Yeah, that’s very true. I was watching the Billie Eilish doc the other day, and I was like, I’ve done nothing. I’m not an artist at all!”
“No one thought ‘Love and Monsters’ was going to be good!”
O’Brien is also self-deprecating when he talks about being cast in Flashback, suggesting it happened because he had such an intense connection with Fred. “I was honestly like, ‘Who is watching me right now?’ That is the best way I can describe how I was feeling when I came across this script,” he says. “Chris [MacBride, director] and I had this conversation that went so well in terms of [my] understanding this script that I think he’d sent around a lot and [that] very commonly wasn’t understood. I think Chris has even said that the night before shooting, he suddenly had this thought, like, ‘Wait, do I even think he’s a good actor?'”
Though O’Brien has firmly ring-fenced elements of his private life, he’s actually pretty frank about his acting vehicles. He readily admits he was expecting a snobbish response to Love and Monsters, a CGI-heavy hybrid of post-apocalyptic action and romcom that dropped on Netflix in April and topped the streamer’s daily most-watched list. “It means so much that Love and Monsters has gotten the response that it’s gotten,” O’Brien says. “No one thought this movie was going to be good.” His blunt honesty makes me laugh out loud. “No one did though!” he says in response. “And so, fuck that. You know, most of the people who say something to me about the movie, they’re like: ‘I watched Love and Monsters, and it was… good?’ And honestly, that just cracks me up.” For obvious reasons, we hastily decide not to share our response to the film – namely, that it was a whole lot better than expected.
In Love and Monsters, O’Brien plays Joel, a survivor of a so-called “monsterpocalypse” that has bumped humans to the bottom of the food chain. Though he’s known in his colony as a bit of a coward, Joel sets off on a treacherous 80-mile journey to find his high school sweetheart Aimee (Iron Fist‘s Jessica Henwick), which means evading the hungry clutches of various supersize grizzlies including a giant monster-frog hiding in a suburban pond. It’s a simple but pretty out-there premise that wouldn’t work if O’Brien’s performance was even slightly condescending. Instead, his unselfconscious sincerity really sells a film that has as much in common with the family-oriented Robin Williams movie Night at the Museum as darker fare like The Walking Dead.
His obvious affection for the project really comes across during our interview today. “When I read the script, I just thought it was so sweet and funny and smart and unique, but at the same time reminiscent of all these movies that don’t really get made any more,” he says. That’s a fair point: Love and Monsters is neither a fail-safe superhero movie nor a slice of classy Oscar bait. “And when they were talking about how to market this movie, it was so funny hearing all these conversations like, ‘How do we actually get people to watch it?'” he adds. “But that’s a big part of the reason I wanted to do this movie: because it felt like something I missed seeing.”
“I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who want to make something out of love”
So in a way, Love and Monsters was a risk for an actor seeking to establish himself outside of a bankable movie franchise and a hit TV show. O’Brien has only made four films since his final Maze Runner outing in 2018, and insists he hasn’t been tactical with his choices. “I don’t have anyone saying, ‘We need to get you in an Oscar vehicle’, or any of that kind of shit,” he says. “I’m really lucky to be surrounded by people who think like me: that you should do what you’re drawn to, and make something out of love.”
He’s recently finished shooting a mysterious crime thriller called The Outfit in London with Mark Rylance. Directed and co-written by Graham Moore, who won an Oscar for his screenplay to Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, O’Brien calls it “quite possibly one of the most special pieces of writing I’ve ever experienced”. He first read the script on a plane and says he “actually stood up and clapped” when he got to the end. Considering O’Brien probably wasn’t flying Ryanair, this reaction presumably attracted a few baffled glances.
Anyway, it must be pretty intimidating walking onto set with Rylance, a multi-award-winning actor revered by his peers – Al Pacino once said he “speaks Shakespeare as if it was written for him the night before” – but it sounds as though O’Brien took it all in stride. He says he’s confident in his abilities, but admits to having a slight wobble whenever he begins a new project. “I’m always sort of re-questioning everything – like, ‘Can I even act?'” he says. “But I think there’s something very natural about that. I think even Rylance could relate to that feeling. Acting is like starting a new year at school every single time.”
At this point in his career, O’Brien has made peace with the fact that some people will have preconceptions about him based on what he’s known for: Maze Runner and Teen Wolf. “People will put you in a box no matter what,” he says. “There was definitely a time when that would get to me, especially when it felt like somebody had a perspective on me that in my soul, I just felt wasn’t accurate.” Still, there’s no doubt he wants to show us what’s really in his soul with more films like Flashback. “If anything,” he adds bullishly, “it just makes me think: ‘Right, I’m really gonna show them now’.”
‘Flashback’ is out on digital platforms from June 4
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IOTA Reviews: Guiltrip
So, my week has been hell. In addition to working night and day on final essays for my classes, I've been really busy at work lately, and the second COVID vaccine shot really took a lot out of me this week. And that's not even getting into the bureaucratic nonsense that comes with applying for the MTEL which is slowly making me wonder if I actually want to teach in the first place.
But, despite all that, there was a single light of hope this week that almost made it all worth it.
STAR WARS: THE BAD BATCH, BABY!
OH MY GOD, THIS SHOW IS AMAZING! I ALWAYS LOVED THE CLONE-CENTRIC EPISODES OF THE CLONE WARS, AND NOW WE GET AN ENTIRE SHOW ABOUT AN ELITE TEAM OF THEM? KICKASS! AND IT TAKES PLACE AFTER ORDER 66 WITH GRAND MOFF TARKIN AS THE MAIN VILLAIN? SWEET MOTHER OF GEORGE LUCAS, I CAN'T WAIT! I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT THEY TRADED IN THE COOL SNIPER CLONE FOR SOME LITTLE GIRL CLONE, I ALREADY WANT TO SEE MORE THAN THE TWO EPISODES WE GOT SO FAR! GOD, I LOVE THIS SHOW!
Oh yeah, there was also a new episode of Miraculous Ladybug that aired on the same day too, I guess. It was pretty good. Hell of a lot better than the past three episodes I've sat through.
Let's get into the fifth (chronologically the eleventh) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Guiltrip
We start off in the middle of class where we see Marinette looking at Adrien lovingly.
Because the writers are still trying to push the Love Square on us as if they were trying to sell us some death sticks. And yes, expect a few Star Wars jokes in this review. This episode did premiere on May 4th after all.
Rose suddenly gets a headache, and asks to go to the nurse, saying that “Miss Dora” is back. While walking there with Marinette, she explains that it's a code name she gives when her head hurts and can tell Miss Bustier without letting everyone know. She probably felt a name like “Maya Grain” would just give it away.
At lunch, Juleka gets a text that really upsets her, so Marinette tries to cheer her up. Keyword being “tries”.
Okay, yes, this is referencing the previous scene, where Rose refers to a certain snack at the nurse's office she eats to recover her health whenever “Miss Dora” visits called “Mr. Coffee”, but it's just bad timing. I get Marinette has a habit of not reading the room, but why did she have to use the term “Miss Dora” when she knows what it's being used for? Sure, she doesn't know that Juleka knows, but did she really have to say “Miss Dora”? She couldn't have used any other name instead? It's like making a chemotherapy joke when you just found out someone close to you has cancer. Even putting the context aside, what is this joke's punchline supposed to be? That “Miss Dora” will visit Juleka if she eats her lunch? Even by the humor standards of this show, the joke fails spectacularly.
Marinette bumps into Adrien, and although she stutters a little with a little exaggerated body movement, she does manage to take things seriously so she can have an actual conversation with Adrien about Juleka, who wants to be alone. She explains that the text she got was from Rose, who was sent to the hospital because of her sickness, and the entire class finds out because Marinette texted everyone to come to check on Juleka.
Goddamn it, Marinette. I usually defend you for getting screwed over by the writing, but you really aren't on your A game today.
Juleka explains that Rose got this sickness when she was little, which naturally worried everyone else. To make things worse, Juleka also says Rose made her swear to not tell anyone about her to worry her. Everyone else swears to not let Rose know that they know, and the act of support is actually enough to drive away an Akuma targeted at Juleka.
Unfortunately, nobody ever said anything about being overly affectionate to Rose, so everyone in the class tries to do things for Rose like carry her bags, giving her a pillow to sit on in school, helping her take notes, letting her cut in line at lunch, and giving her apples.
All of this makes Juleka remorsefully tell Rose that she told everyone else, which worries her because she hates all the special treatment, so she goes to tell them all about her illness. While they seem to accept her, the next time she sneezes, they overreact like, uh... how can I make this joke in a tasteful way?
Rose says she's had enough with all the treatment, which makes Juleka feel guilty. In the bathroom, she gets akumatized into Reflekta (yet again) with a Sentimonster named Guiltrip. And then Reflekta immediately gets sucked into the Sentimonster, which will cause it to go out of control. Nice job, Shadowmoth.
While it might not look like much, this is easily my favorite Sentimonster by far. Granted, that's not saying much, given all we've gotten so far for Sentimonsters is bootleg Mothra, sentient candy, a robotic doll, a frog with a body count, yet another evil doppelganger, and an eye, but my point still stands. Rather than actually confront the heroes, it's basically a portal to another world where it can trap people in bubbles that represent their regrets and despair, and turn them into copies of Reflekta.
It's a really strong metaphor which reminds me of the villains from Kamen Rider Wizard, who tried to drive their victims to despair in order to turn them into monsters. Ironically, that show's main villain is also some asshole in white who was risking countless lives just to save someone close to him. In general, the area inside of Guiltrip is visually stunning, and easily the highlight of the episode. It's just so surreal, and it really sets the tone the episode's going for.
Ladybug and Cat Noir arrive on the scene, and also get sucked into the portal, seeing some of the victims before they also start to fall into despair. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is one of the few times where Angstdrien Depreste is thematically appropriate. Cat Noir points out that if they had simply defeated Shadowmoth by now, none of this would be happening, which is a good point. He even attempts to kill himself using his Cataclysm, but unlike RWBY, they don't try to glorify it.
This also leads to Rose managing to fight off Guiltrip's powers with her optimistic personality (so I guess you could say she's A New Hope for the heroes), inspiring Ladybug to compliment Cat Noir. While I'd normally be pissed that this is yet another way to boost his ego, it does fit in with the episode's theme of positive thinking. Well, with the exception of one line where she points out what her time as Ladybug would be like without Cat Noir...
BEING A SUPERHERO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. Yes, there are certain benefits to being a superhero, but it is not a fun game you play when lives are on the line. Why are the writers so dedicated to validate Cat Noir's beliefs that being a hero is just a fun extracurricular activity? Has there ever been a superhero who shares a similar mentality and isn't treated like a complete jackass?
So Ladybug and Cat Noir break free of the bubbles, and after summoning her Lucky Charm, a pickaxe, Ladybug realizes she needs more positivity to break free from Guiltrip. As such, she pulls out the Pig Miraculous and gives it to Rose, who transforms into Pigella. Funny how she forgot her little headache condition when she bangs her head like a death metal singer while transforming.
The design is... wait, she's not wearing a skin-tight jumpsuit? She's actually wearing something different?
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Yeah, I really like the Pigella design. There's a good mix of pink and white, and the skirt really brings the whole thing together. It really reflects Rose's optimistic and bubbly personality.
So the three heroes find Reflekta, who has been consumed by tons of bubbles. Pigella uses her superpower, Gift, to show Reflekta what her heart wants the most right now. So it's basically a more specific version of the Fox Miraculous? In fact, what do pigs have to do with optimism?
Whatever reason, it works, which helps Reflekta to break free of Guiltrip's influence, letting Ladybug de-evilize her. But because we need to have a fight scene in this episode, the Reflekta clones start to attack the heroes, but Ladybug uses the pickaxe to climb out of Guiltrip and purify the Amok.
So Rose hands the Pig Miraculous back to Ladybug, and the episode ends with everyone treating Rose normally in class, realizing she isn't as delicate as she thinks she is.
So yeah, I really like this episode. Aside from a few stupid things Marinette said this episode, I honestly don't have a lot of problems with the episode here.
I also really like the lesson this episode is going for. It doesn't shame Rose for rejecting the help, and it doesn't shame the class for being to overprotective of Rose either. It tries to find a middle ground, which is an important lesson to learn, not just for dealing with a loved one who has an illness, but for disabled people and other kinds of situations where someone has a disadvantage. Even as much as I ragged on Marinette for the text, it's clear that she isn't the only one to blame. In fact, nobody really gets blamed for anything this episode. It's more of a misunderstanding, and both sides find a balance on how to treat Rose.
It's overall a really good episode, and the second best one so far this season. And you know what? This episode taught me the importance of staying positive, so with that in mind, maybe I shouldn't be dreading “Queen Banana” when it comes out this week.
Wait, what? It got pushed back two weeks? Oh, THANK GOD! Now I feel like dancing. And I know exactly what song to dance to...
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#immaturity of thomas astruc#iota#miraculous ladybug#miraculous ladybug salt#marinette dupain cheng#ladybug#adrien agreste#cat noir#chat noir#rose lavillant#pigella#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#hawk moth#shadowmoth#shadow moth#juleka couffaine#reflekta
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ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT
Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.
What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.
So! I present to you:
HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME
ONE
- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.
- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)
- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY
TWO
- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.
- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say
THREE
- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.
- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.
FOUR
- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.
- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!
- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code
- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.
FIVE
- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.
- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.
- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.
- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.
- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.
SIX
- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.
- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.
SEVEN
- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.
- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.
- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"
- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.
- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.
- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.
- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.
EIGHT
- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:
- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up
- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.
- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later
- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?
- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.
NINE
- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.
TEN
- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.
Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.
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