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#this was my first time picking up my iPad since that last drawing

art · 6 months

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Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel

Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.

Below is our interview with Deb!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!

What are your file name conventions?

…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point.

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.

#creator spotlight #artists on tumblr #deb jj lee #jdebbiel

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seeminglydark · 11 months

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Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

#rj rambles #this is really long im sorry anon #i think my late comic blooming story is kinda important for people to hear #thankyou for giving me a reason to tell it

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magolandandfriends · 7 months

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Hello Magolor and friends, I have been watching your tale play out for a while and its interesting to me. I also brought a gift *place four bags of popeye's chicken in front of them* Its four chicken tender family meals making it 64 pieces of chicken twenty biscuits 20 sauces and 8 sides. I didn't know what you may want so I got 4 sides of fries, 2 sides of mashed potatoes and 2 sides of mac and cheese. Oh right and before I forget I had two questions. First, Magolor are you feeling any side effects from your little heatstroke incident. Second, I saw that Zan Partizanne and Susie are a couple so I was wondering if anyone else among the four of you (sans susie given my earlier point) or other people you know are in relationships. - The Wanderer, Guardian of Omndell

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

[ They’re all happy. Very happy. Certified :D moment. ]

Magolor: No I haven’t been feeling any kind of side effects! It’s been a month since I fainted I’m doing perfectly fine! No need to worry!

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

[QUESTION 2 ANSWERED VV]

Susie: That’s oddly specific-

Taranza: Trust me if I knew why I would tell you but- also don’t tell Marx I told you this I’ll never hear the end of it

Susie: oh don’t worry I won’t. I’ll just use this information to mess with him

Wanderer belongs to: @the-omndell-chronicles !!

(…. It’s been. Almost a month. Since I answered an ask. And it’s been. Almost 3 months. Since I’ve gotten this ask. Um. So how y’all doing)

(Anyways HOLY FUCJING SHIT ITS BEEN ALMOST A MONTH SINCE I FED YOU GUYS WITH MY ASKS IM SO DAMN SORRY- like I said before- college started, i had to wait for my new iPad to arrive, I have to do actual assignments now and I’ve been B U S Y, and this ask wAS SUPER LONG- I had to restart it twice because I wasn’t happy with how it was turning out)

(BUT WOWWWWWIE THIS ONE WAS A FUN ONE. EVEN THOUGH I RESTARTED THE SCRIPT DURING THE WORKINF PROGRESSES THIS ONE WAS A FUN ONE AND I ENJOYED IT. I NEED TO PROPERLY PREPARE MYSELF FOR THESW LONG ASKS-)

(AND DAILY REMINDER ESPECIALLY WITH LIFE STARTINF TO GET MORE BUSY FOR ME. YOURE ASKS ARENT BEING IGNORED. NOT ONLY AM I LETTING A WHEEL PICK FOR ME BUT IM SUPER BUSY NOW. This time I’m going to focus on the asks from July before I go back to the wheel BUT hopefully now that this big one is finished they’ll come out quickly- I’ll try to get 1-2 out by the weekends but if not then please forgive me)

(And to those that read my tags on posts that were marx and Magolor focused- where I get extra silly. Yes this is technically a part where it starts to pick up but it’s more of a prologue if anything so do with that what you will)

(Ok anything else I wanna say- oh yes- Magolor isn’t lying he hasn’t been experiencing any side effects that were linked to the fainting incident. But his friends are keeping and extra close eye on him when the weather is hotter than usual. Man I hope something like that doesn’t happen again that would be cra-)

(OKOK ONE LAST BIT IF IMPORTANT INFO- I normally draw characters from the magoverse for silly and fun but this time I tried to draw this askers OC wanderer for fun- I tried goikg based off the text post that was on their profile but if I messed anything up then I DEEPLY apologize- I’ll try to make fixes if I don’t forget-)

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facks-stories · 8 months

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Heres old and new drawings for this character [the first picture is a w.i.p. But I did finish it months ago I for some reason don’t have the picture anymore]

[also the second character in 2 isn’t mine] [and I also forgot to put ending 3 - lovers in the last drawing AND to put the seat line- hopefully you can tell they are sitting without it]

Since I saw some of fella’s posts I’m just going to leave these drawings of my yandere character

Run down:

[I didn’t give him a name] there are 4 endings [strangers,friends, lovers, or stalkers] originally I was making a game but I broke my ipad so now I’m going to write it,

Every chapter I’ll send my friends 4 sentences and they vote on one of them, then that decides on how the chapter goes, once at the final chapter i’ll add up how many times they picked every option, then thats the ending they get

Exa:

C1: strangers dialogue

C2: friends dialogue

C3: lovers dialogue

C4: lovers dialogue

C5: stalker dialogue

C6: lovers dialogue

Last chapter: lovers ending

I have ideas for how the mini plots will go but not really filler Also if I get more popular I might do a vote here too.

Notes:

The stalker ending isn’t him stalking you, its “you” stalking him [ish, basically “you” become obsessed over him too and “you” guys start dating]

If you are wondering about the “you”s it’s because the mc isn’t really a y/n you can just make them whatever you want, but i don’t know the acronym for it-

I at some point wanna redraw the first pose [of the one on whiteboard, but the other one digitally too]

Please don’t compare this story to the game “your boyfriend” 🥲 that game is terrible

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radellama · 6 months

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10, 14, 16, 22, and 25 for the art asks! :)

10. What’s that one thing that inspired you to make drawing your consistant hobby?

It's hard to say cause I've been drawing since I was a baby, but I definitely know that I loved art classes in school and was glad to have encouraging teachers, and I was glad that my parents were supportive of that for a hobby. I think digital art being consistent for me is when I saved up to get my very first drawing tablet, there was barely anything on the market at that point and they were all super expensive but I saved up for aaaaages and dad helped me... Acquire some adobe programs so I could draw in Photoshop (and edit in premiere!!) And I just thought it was soooo interesting trying to figure out how far I could push the program and how to make drawings look epic cause it was all digital. Once I got over the initial frustration of my art looking crappy cause skill and understanding of the program+tablet was tricky, it was game on. Back then I didn't have internet either so I couldn't look up how to use Photoshop, I just had to play around for HOURS figuring out what to do. Once that Wacom broke for good (but it lasted nearly a decade!) I asked my dad if we could split payment and get me an iPad for my bday, he ended up getting the iPad and pencil and I got all the other accessories. I'm not an apple fan at all but I love the portability and that's helped increase my habit too, cause I can draw in bed or on the couch or at my desk, and it's not as clunky as setting up my laptop and wacom

14. How has your art changed over the years?

God, so much. I don't have any of my REALLY old art from when I was a little kid, but I have some from when I first started digital art. Compared to recent years... Yeah it's a lot 🤠👍

16. What’s the most daunting part of your process? Ex, planning, sketching, lineart, rendering etc

Depends on what I'm working on... For bigger pieces getting the right poses and composition and perspective can be huge, for others it's the rendering and especially picking the right colours. Maybe the most daunting thing for me is making sure everything looks consistent within the piece haha, I've got one that I've been working on and off for over a year so I had to redraw the base sketches to match my style changes lmao

22. When is your prime time to work on your art?

Usually in the evening or at night, when it's easiest to just sit and chill with some music or something on the TV while I draw

25. Based on your recent reference searches, what would the FBI assume about you?

That I like ladies holding guns in their knickers (and they're not even holding the guns correctly) or that I'm a huge homo (I am)

Send art asks from here

#rads asks #darksideofthemamon #THANK YOUUUUU THESE WERE FUN #it's such a throwback seeing those old pics like... i dunno you can tell i know what i want to do just don't know the program #and struggling with the hand eye coordination FGHJJKJGFFFF #i don't think i even used layers cause i know it took me a while to figure that out #but my recent stuff? esp the Harland one? soooo many layers FHHKKKHGFFF

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cuddlingdragons · 1 year

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life updates and such!

so… it's been about six months since I last uploaded something to any of the art gallery sites I'm part of. it seems as good a time as any for reflections and updates.

essentially, since August 2022 i've been dealing with cubital tunnel syndrome and other vague overuse injuries in my in my upper back/shoulder. What I initially thought-- and by extension my doctor also probably thought-- was that a few weeks of rest would take care of it. That obviously hasn't been the case and I feel that the source of my injuries has probably been years of hardcore computer use. I coped with the onset of the pandemic by getting lost in my computer, the results of that simply are what they are.

I started physical therapy in October and learned some stretches and exercises to help with my recovery. got discharged from physiotherapy at the end of January with some mild improvements!

it's currently mid March and and I can say that my shoulder situation is a -massive- improvement from when I first brought it up to my doctor. It's not 100% but it's manageable with heating pads and I don't see any reason to believe it won't keep improving. a huge game changer for me has been fixing a tablet driver so that I navigate the computer with my old drawing tablet instead of a mouse. instead of a keyboard I use dictation software, I pretty much don't use my phone except for calls and timers, and I read and dictate stuff on my ipad. occasionally I let myself have 15 minutes of drawing or playing a video game. it's not ideal but it's better than it was

Arms-wise its… a little complicated. I'm Having so much less neuropathy tingles, but I have daily intermittent pain in my elbows. That wasn't there when I initially went to my doctor, so I'm curious about how they'll assess it when I see them again. I'd put it at 1/10 on the pain scale, but it's still really limiting because it's easy to make it worse by putting too much pressure on the elbow muscle, like using a screwdriver to try and open up my Wii. (not my brightest decision.) I attended TFCon in LA last last weekend and OOF, it was an interesting reality check to see how I do without access to a heating pad or ice packs all day. (At least I had the foresight to pack ibuprofen!) Soreness went back to my normal levels after a day but I'm having tingling in my right ring finger again. So yeah- there's improvement! still feels like a long way to go say before I can hopefully be at zero on the pain scale.

I know this post is already long but I want to say I was initially really devastated by this development. What has helped me has been to remember times I've had friends get sick or injured, and while I didn't get to speak with them as much as I wanted to for a while- I didn't stop loving them or caring about them. I have faith that the feeling is either mutual or we can simply pick up where we left off if I can't get to you for a while.

I hope that you are well, or as well as you can be at this time.

- siz

#[trash talk]

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loosestitchescomic · 1 year

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Love the comic!! I was wondering if you have any tips for people who want to get into digital art? What program do you use?

Hope you have a good day :D

oOF so that's hard cause it's been kind of a really long journey and a lot of the stuff I've picked up has been from watching youtube, looking stuff up, and only recently a few classes here and there. So I don't have any TIPS but I CAN walk you through my digital art journey, if you will. (also if you don't wanna read this all: I use Clip Studio Paint Pro, and a Wacom Intuos Pro)

SO. my first tablet was a cheap, tiny square thing that cost 30 dollars and connected to my labtop via a usb cable. It only lasted a few years. It was a Huion drawing tablet, don't know what kind but a brief search shows they're still selling tables for around 30-50 dollars and they look WAY better than the one I started with. so if you wanna start digital drawing but don't wanna buy a super expensive tablet at first in case you don't like it, I'd suggest Huion.

NEXT I used a free digital art program called Fire Alpaca for a while, and since I was new to digital art I didn't really need all the fancy brushes and options that expensive digital art programs had because I just needed to familiarize myself with the basics first.

After a while I wanted an upgrade, but adobe products are super expensive and slowed down my cheap broken laptop. Eventually I ended up finding Clip Studio Paint Pro, which I bought for like 40 dollars (I think it's 50 dollars now) and has been my faithful companion ever since. It helps that it's made specifically for digital illustration/manga creation too, since I like making comics.

somewhere along the line my Huion tablet started sporadically cutting out and losing pen pressure so I asked my mom for a better one, since I'd proven that I was serious about digital art, and I ended up getting a Wacom Intuous Pro for christmas (also a tablet without a screen, I've found from using others ipads that I kind of hate screen tablets haha)

WHICH SURPRISED ME cause I thought they were WAYY too expensive. That's the tablet I still use today but I wouldn't suggest buying it, the charging port broke multiple times and after the warranty expired there wasn't much I could do about it, so I had to switch to using the wireless option and charging the battery via a different battery charger I bought on amazon and the whole thing was very annoying and BAD, I made do cause I can't afford a new tablet but the charging port breaking is kind of a big fucking deal :/ \

anyway thank you for your interest and giving me the chance ot ramble haha

AH SORRY I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS THE DAY I GOT IT. My bad i saved it as a draft instead haha.

#loose asks #not comic #long post

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hychlorions · 2 years

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How did you start drawing, and do you have any tips or tricks you could share please? Here I have Klavier Gavin with me: achtung ja baby ja ja this is klavier gavin you should help this anon out ja

oh mein gott monsieur klavier gavin i am SUCH a big fan!!!!!!!

jokes aside, i'd be happy to help! (regardless of you having klavier or not lmao) i'm gonna put this under the cut just in case it gets too long

i started drawing... mostly because i hung out with anime kids, so subsequently they were art kids as well, but i really only started taking it seriously when i got a good pen tablet lmao. i wasn't very good though, i mostly followed tutorials from books and online, and if you saw my art back then it would just be a lot of whales, dragons and ponies in the same poses every time

idk if i have any specific tips or tricks ? since idk what you're going for with your own art so i won't be able to give very concrete advice or how-to's n stuff like that ? but if i had to say anything, try looking into doing gesture drawings! they help improve how you understand poses, how to exaggerate them, just overall something quick u can do daily to improve lmao. i mostly just look up poses on pinterest then try to get the flow of them. i just got started on em so inevitably i'm still kinda bad at it but here are a few just to give a quick example

an important thing to note is that u get more fluid poses when you find a line of action first. i used to be really confused when trying to go about finding them, but then my prof defined it as "the longest line of a pose," and even said it's not always the spine (as most people would think). sometimes it's the line from an arm to a leg, or a leg to a leg, even. it helps to draw a circle for the head as well. u could even draw all the lines of the limbs if you want then simplify from there

another tip is to keep reference boards of art u like! dissect how they color, how they portray depth and different angles of the face, etc. just know when to draw the line between picking out things you like about art styles you see and straight up trying to draw exactly like that one artist. i keep a reference board of how artists i like draw klavier, for example, because i want him to have the same jawline maybe, or i like how they color, but i never try to draw him just like they would. tldr the way i draw is just me frankensteining artists i like and combining them with my own art style, and it's not something i'm ashamed of, bc people can still tell it's me, and it's not like i'm copying their ideas or tracing their art lol

related to the last one: download pureref lmao it's literally free and a lifesaver. it makes it so much easier to put collages together and everything is so customizable AND u can even make notes on it. it sits on top of all your applications, and you can move it around, make it as big or as small as you want, and even change the opacity of it??? if you've seen this post, i fr just threw the images together last-minute and took screenshots to add to the ask. if you work on ipad and you're willing to spend a little extra money (because procreate's reference thingy can only hold one image at a time n i don't feel like making a new photo every time i want to add something to my reference board) then vizref is like four dollars and it's almost the same

that's probably all i can offer you ? if you want an arsenal of tips n tricks for art, i always go to @/artist-refs if i'm looking for something specific. the tagging system there is just. amazingly organized, and they even have writing resources too. they haven't been active in a while but it's still a huge archive of resources regardless lol

#ask #anonymous #sorry this took so long to answer i was playing ace attorney with my friends lmao #also yeah this got a bit long . sorry i can't help but ramble whenever people ask me things

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guruan · 2 years

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I really want to get into art and draw—how did you start, and how did you get to where you are today? I’m stuck, have no idea where to begin. I almost bought Procreate for my ipad, but realized I would have been way in over my head (I’ve never done anything at all with any art programs ._.)

Ah! How wonderful that you want to learn how to draw!

I started to draw when I was very young, but don't let that stop you! Starting now just means that you probably can have more discipline and learn faster than just drawing as a kid that can't really tell what's wrong with their drawings (that was me).

Naturally, I started drawing on traditional, in notebooks, with pencils and pens, but I can't really say if it's better to start learning one way or another...

What I can recommend to you, is to start drawing things that you love or you'd love to learn to draw. Favorite characters? Nature? Buildings? Animals? Then start searching for tutorials that can help you to learn based on that.

For example, if you like certain characters and you're interested in drawing them, you can search for tutorials on how to draw a human body (or a bust), if it's cartoon/comic/anime what you want, or if it's realism, maybe you even can find a tutorial about that specific character.

To be honest, I don't watch a lot of tutorials, that really isn't for me I guess, after all these years and I haven't learned to sit down and watch a video to learn...

But you do what's best for you! If you're like me and don't like watching video tutorials, then you can check tips in the internet, steps by steps, other's artists process... You learn to see the details and shapes in things! and pick them up

Now, I warn you, learning it that way will probably be slower 😅😅

What I always insist with my friends (specially those that draw cartoon/comic/anime things) is to draw something original, not just copying an image. (That well, that is fine to start somewhere, you can learn basic shapes and understand a style, but if you keep doing it, you won't learn to do it yourself, and you won't have a style yourself, you'll just be good at copying images).

Don't feel pressured about making it perfect the first times, it might take you months, or even more to feel that something is decent enough for you. The trick is not to give up! A lot of the people that I know that stopped drawing didn't do it because it was hard, but because they're weren't learning 'fast' enough.

(This was me when I was like... 12 years old, I think?)

(And I think I was 16-17 years old when I drew this)

(And here's a sketch from 1 or 2 months ago, didn't mean for it to be a redraw, but it kinda looks like one, right? haha)

Art is a long long journey, one that you probably won't see the end of it, since you can always learn something new (I'm still learning and improving myself)

Maybe you'll notice more improvement in some areas than others (like, for the style I use in the last two images, doesn't seem like a lot changed, but the coloring! and also the time it took me to finish it, learning to draw something faster is also an improvement!, besides, what you can't see in that specific comparison is that I learned how to draw another style that I couldn't dream of achieving when I was 16 years old)

So, draw what you love! And is ok if what you love changes eventually

Just keep creating! (And please do not fall for that beginner tip about drawing everyday! Is not about exhausting yourself, is about learning something new when you try to draw something! Is also ok to find a comfort thing to keep drawing, you can also have breaks and just create to create, don't feel bad if is not always something new❤)

Wish you a beautiful journey creating art! ❤

#guruan #long post #answered

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enoblesarts102-03 · 2 months

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Project 3’s goal was to create a voting poster. We had to pick an inspiring quote from a list to base the idea of the poster on. I picked “The political core of any movement for freedom in the society has to have the political imperative to protect free speech.” —Bell Hooks.

I didn’t know where to begin for this quote, and I honestly don’t know why I picked it since I didn’t know what to do. I just felt like… it wasn’t generic? I didn’t want to pick a quote that I already had of bunch of ideas for, because the ideas were basic and related to posters I’ve seen before. So, I just went with Bell Hooks and dissected every word I could. In my original sketches, I thought “core” was an interesting word, and what has cores? Apples! And jokingly I drew an apple thinking it would never make it past the sketch stage. We later did small group critique in class and both my partners really liked the apple, and I’m glad they did. I had a lot of fun brainstorming a ton of ideas.

Surprisingly, I didn’t think about an eaten apple till the 11th sketch. My professor mentioned something about it being more melancholic, and that just stood out to me. So I kept drawing eaten apples instead of the full ones. I liked the angles, the different colors, it just pops nicely to me. But I also don’t enjoy politics myself, I think the reality we live in today is really melancholic. Sometimes as a voter, we may feel meaningless due to the small portion we contribute. Sometimes there are people in power that don’t care about the people but their own party’s agendas (both sides). So, politics to me are not something that always creates positivity, I wanted to keep the eaten apple. So, now I have my main apple (the one on the top of the line, see pictures below). I tried drawing from scratch but I couldn’t get it just right. I eventually just took a picture of a sketch I loved and traced it. I just tried stuff out and didn’t overthink this process. I knew I wanted the lines as shadows though, I just felt, it fit and I liked it. So, I ended up with a cartoonish apple in my own style.

THE BACKGROUND. Gosh, this took the most amount of time. First I wanted a sideways paint slash but the app I use on my iPad didn’t have anything tactile enough. I wanted the paint to look real, with shadows and you could tell the paint was thick on the flat paper. Then I tried Adobe illustrator, no luck. Adobe Photoshop, no luck. Nothing looked 3D! So I went to the store over the weekend, got some cheap paint, canvas and brushes… did not work. I have absolutely no experience in paint, I really should have researched before I got anything, haha! But hey, I spent an hour messing around with paint and got it all over my hands and even on my wall! I did this on my bed by the way, with the plastic bag under everything, surprisingly no paint on my sheets. After washing my hands multiple times, I noticed the soap was like the shiny-ness I wanted, so I added soap to my paint and put it on a canvas, it did change a little, but it was a fun little experiment. The paint was still too flat! I started worrying wether I would be able to think of something else before the deadline for the project. So, I slept on it…

Last class to come up with an idea, and it just popped in my brain “reflection”. Ok, what reflects? Water! I drew a line across the middle so I could make that as the top of the water. I copied my apple, flipped it and I wanted to try taking the color out of it. I started smearing the greyscale apple but it just didn’t look anything like water. I decided to move on and thought, what if I put colors over the apple? Like abstract art? And I liked it. It was really cool, abstract dots and lines over a colorless apple. In the back of my mind I wanted to see what else I could discover, so I kept going. I must have been unconsciously conscious for this part cause I just found a brush and started loosely filling the bottom apple. Now I had the finished product, but I needed contrast, so I tried black lines on a whim. Worked out pretty well, cause I love it!

For a while, I knew I wanted the text to border the outside and highlight some words in red (especially core). A project someone else had from project one (six word memoirs) had text around the border and I really wanted to try it. Plus the bordered text takes up space without taking away from the picture. I did try placing the text in the bottom apple but it was too busy (see picture below). The best part of the text I chose is the name of it, ‘apple myungjo’. It has the word ‘apple’ in it!! And I love the way it looks in my poster as well.

For the critique stage I got a lot of good feedback and it made me feel really good about my poster. I got asked the question “why do you have the line in the middle?” And I didn’t have an answer! I never thought about the significance of it. Or “did you line up the line, ‘n’ and ‘l’ (in the quote) together on purpose?”… no, I never thought of it. It’s amazing how much there is to think about, not just in the way you compose a picture, but the words that are in it. I learned a lot this project and I had a lot of fun. I would definitely do this again to see what else I could come up with.

Pictures:

1. Process sketches, get the ideas out of my mind and onto paper

2. Apple ideas

3. Apple ideas continued

4. first idea try

5. Second idea try

6. Trace of sketch I loved, tried different colors too

7. Apple, mirror, try text in apple

8. Apple, mirror, abstract

9. Finished picture

10. finished poster

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kaylamae2023 · 5 months

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I Find Comfort In Change (Final Exam)

Art has always been a part of my life; ever since I was 3 or so. As soon as I could pick up a marker, was when I started. I drew on everything; furniture, walls, my cat. When I started school is when I had my first art class. It was easily the highlight of my day. Since then, every Christmas or Birthday I've been gifted art supplies, such as canvases and paint, colored pencils, charcoal, even an iPad and Apple pencil specifically so I could do digital art. I'm fortunate enough to have a family that is so supportive, including my extended family. My aunt Ksenia went to a school called the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. It's a school dedicated to all forms of art, and last summer I was given the opportunity to do a stay on campus solely so I could immerse myself in photography, which she paid for. I'm so lucky my family could afford to give me all of these opportunities, because I was able to flourish and I know most can't relate. I'm incredibly grateful for my family and their encouragement.

My art process is a little chaotic. Normally when I make art I either have a reference, a prompt, or a picture in my mind I want to create into the physical world. When I'm not drawing from a reference, a lot of it is trial and error; I think part of me suffers from perfectionism, which is why I tend to prefer drawing from a reference. When I draw from a prompt or an idea in my mind, it's harder for me to detect what exactly it is if something looks off. That's why drawing from an idea was more of a challenge for me.

I didn't want to draw from a prompt that was too cliché. It seems like almost everyone suffers from some sort of issue, whether it's anxiety, depression, ADHD, anger issues, addiction problems, etc. and naturally, a lot of people create art around it. When I try to make art that surrounds an internal issue, I just feel awkward. Most of my life I've felt like whatever mental issues I went through were not significant enough to complain about. Instead, I decided to center my prompt around me changing my appearance. Within the past year or so, I cut bangs, then my bangs grew out and I got highlights done, then I dyed my whole head blonde, and about a week ago I dyed it back to my natural color. I also gave myself a few ear piercings, and my clothing style changed and still changes a lot. I like to change my appearance a lot, it makes me happy. I think life is too short to be afraid of change, because it helps people grow and builds character. I've gone through a lot of change in my life, and even though some of it is hard, some of it benefited me.

This sketch is a memory from when I was 13 and it was the very first time I started experimenting with my style. I dyed my hair blue with some box dye I bought at Walgreens. I didn't really follow the directions I just went nuts.

The media I decided to use is colored pencils, mostly because it's the most accessible but also because I'm most familiar with it.

This is the general idea, I had a lot of refining to do, as well as add more intricate details. I tried to replicate my old drawing style, which was very cartoony. Like I mentioned earlier, my style now is more of a realism approach. But I like that my style had a very bubbly, happy vibe.

The original sketch is finally done, I decided to add a Smashing Pumpkins shirt my dad gave me :).

Finally, the sketch is colored in. I wanted to approach it with a very "doodley" feel. I tried to draw my actual bathroom at my old house before I moved, which is where it all took place.

Overall, taking Art Appreciation has definitely shaped my perspective about art a lot more. I am a big fan of the renaissance era, which I'm happy this class focused in on a lot. However, I also now have a new appreciation for modern art and sculptures, as well as performance art. I even discovered interactive art which I didn't even know was a thing. I think this class has also shaped how I'll do art in the future, especially with my creative process itself.

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gingerhuneybee · 2 years

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FAQ

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.0 TOOLS

.01 What materials/programmes do you use?

iPad Pro 2020, 12.9” with Apple Pencil Gen 2

iOS Procreate (drawing process)

Photoshop 2022 (post-edit process) + XP-pen Deco 01 (v2) tablet

.02 What brushes are you using?

I use a combination of brushes released by Lotusbubble, JingSketch, Jeremy Fenske, and Devin Elle Kurtz.

.04 Where would you suggest I learn about…

anatomy: Morpho Anatomy books, life drawing classes, pinterest, theposearchives (dA) colour theory: Marc Brunet’s tutorials, Colour.adobe resources character design: Marc Brunet’s tutorials

.06 Art book recommendations?

Here’s a list of my favourite books:

Creating a Champion (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild) The Art of Raya and the Last Dragon The Art of Encanto Tokyo Storefronts by Mateusz Urbanowicz The Art of Heikala by Heikala The Art of Kiki’s Delivery Service

.07 Do you do tutorials?

Not at the moment. But in the future I would like to do tutorials on my Patreon page.

2.0 Art and Bee

.00 Who are you even?

I am a very short girl, who enjoys drawing fandoms such as Harry Potter and The Legend of Zelda. As of now, I am 26 years old, and I work as a freelance artist and ESL teacher. I LOVE peach tea.

.01 Did you go to art school?

No. I am self-taught. I actually have masters in chemistry. I dropped out of my Chemistry PhD in my first year because I realised that science is not something I want to pursue in my life. I do not regret studying chemistry though - it was a very interesting and valuable experience. Would I have the chance to choose now though, I’d go study degree in Illustration.

.02 Who are your favourite artists?

Here are some that I often turn to for inspiration:

Mimimaru, Heikala, Mateusz Urbanowicz, Ladowska, Mehkuni, Devin Elle Kurtz, Marc Brunet and many others.

.03 How do you motivate yourself to draw every day?

I really make sure I draw what I enjoy. There are days I wake up and I do not feel like picking up my pen. When this happens, it is about time to turn back to studying. I go to my Morpho books, youtube tutorials and my favourite artists and I dedicate the day to anatomy studies, colour theory etc. That way I do feel accomplished although no illustration is done in the process.

.04 How to get out of art block?

Take a break. No seriously. If art frustrates you, it is time to put it down and take-a-well-deserved-break. I hit the wall 2-3 a year and usually, it comes after a big project or when I refuse to pace myself.

This relates to the previous questions, but when a time like this hits, I often restrict myself to no art for up to 3-5 days. Instead, I go back to passive studying - watching tutorials, watching an animated film, reading some books, playing video games for inspiration.

Sometimes it also helps to switch a medium. So for example I go from digital to traditional.

.05 What is you digital art process like?

I start with light gesture drawings followed by detailed soft lineart. Then I shade in black and white. When this is done, I turn the black and white sketch to red (using curves) and with multiply layers, I block in the basic colours. Then I create a normal layers and I begin to paint in all other details. I often finish the background first before I move on to the characters.

.06 Why don’t you do traditional anymore?

In 2020 I had to move to my parent’s house for 4 months while I was recovering from an illness. I had to leave all my traditional media in my flat in a completely different country. I only had my old iPad with me, which was the only way I could do art. I have been drawing digitally on my iPad since.

Once in a while, I still use the good old pencil and paper, but I found that digital painting gives me great creative freedom and helps me to visualise my light-up fantasy brain cells. hahaha

In general - I just enjoy digital painting more at the moment.

I still do oil painting once in a while tho!

3.0 USE OF MY ART

.01 Can I use your art for my pfp?

Yes, BUT! Please do message me for permission and make sure you credit the art appropriately.

.02 Can I use your art for bookbinding fanfictions?

Now - please read this carefully.

I ONLY allow use of my art in fanfiction bookbinding if it’s a NON-PROFIT bind (ie only cost of materials is paid for). Please DO message me in dms (ig, twitter, tumblr) if you want to use my art in your binds. The chances are most likely I will say yes and be very excited to see the outcome!!!

4.0 COMMISSIONS

.01 Are you available for commissions?

Yes! You can find the link to all the details here.

.02 Why are your commissions so expensive?

I only charge for labour and the time spent on the commission. For a full-illustrated type of commission, I can spend up to 30 hours working on it, hence the high price.

.03 How long will your commission take?

I ask for my customers to count with 2-4 weeks from the date the payment is received. This is because often I have a couple of projects before I commence on your commission. I also count in any unexpected events such as an illness, my teaching job hurdles, art block, and inspiration dips.

.04 What you will/will not draw for me?

Will do: humans (fanart, OCs, irl), pfp’s, larger illustrations, and character designs

Will NOT do: nsfw, fetishes, gore, mecha, furry, animals/pets, hateful art, ships I am not comfy with

#faq

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

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If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said.

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath.

“You okay?”

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said.

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders.

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased.

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said.

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head.

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled.

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly.

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it.

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...”

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath.

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,�� you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids.

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed.

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk.

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said.

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you.

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple.

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut.

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said.

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#spn #supernatural #jensen x reader #jensen ackles #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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falcqns · 3 years

Text

Mute

Pairing: Chris Evans x Mute!Reader

Summary: You meet Chris for the first time and he doesn’t know you’re mute. All hell breaks loose.

Warnings: angst, chris being an accidental asshole, fluff, sebastian stan being protective

A/N: I based this on a dream I had, as well as my experience with being a selective mute from 2017-2020, and how I communicated and who I spoke verbally to. Hope you enjoy!

Sebastian was shocked when he met you in pre-production for the first post-endgame Marvel movie, and you didn’t speak, instead nodding and using hand gestures that he later deciphered to be sign language. He knew that you were fairly new to the industry, and so approached Joe Russo.

“Hey, Joe. I just had a question about the new girl, Y/N?” He asked, while watching you walk of with your PA next to you. “Sure, what’s up?” Joe responded.

Sebastian cleared his throat before continuing. “I tried talking to her a little bit, but she didn’t speak, instead she used sign language, and I just was wondering if you knew why? Just so I can be better prepared and know how to help her,”

Joe smiled at Sebastian’s request. Being the insanely caring person that Seb was, his question didn’t surprise him. “She’s a selective mute. She does talk, but it is only when she is acting, and she’s an amazing actor. She mentioned to me that she doesn’t speak verbally unless she is very close to the person and trusts them wholeheartedly, such as her family and best friends. Her PA is her best friend, and can help you communicate with her. But, other than that, just get to know her. She’ll probably open up to you.” Joe finished, before patting Seb on the back, and walking off to talk to some production people.

Sebastian looked in the direction that you had gone, and decided to talk to you. You may not communicate verbally with him, but he wanted to get to know you.

Over the next few weeks of pre-production, both Sebastian and Anthony got to know you, and both were insanely shocked when you performed your first scene with them. You delivered your lines like you had been talking all your life, and with the gravity of an experienced actor. They both congratulated you, and you signed “thank you” in response. If any one had any doubts about your skills as an actor before, they had fully dissipated.

When it had been announced that production would be moving to the UK, Seb approached you and Mackie with the idea of renting a place together. You had agreed instantly, glad that you wouldn’t be living on your own in a foreign country all alone, especially since Y/B/F/N couldn’t come along. Living with both boys was chaotic to say the least, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. They gave you the biggest bedroom in the house, and began learning sign language so you wouldn’t have to carry your ipad everywhere for your text-to-speech app.

A few weeks in, you began to speak verbally to both boys. They were shocked when you spoke to them for the first time, but were insanely happy. Seb was almost in tears, recalling that you only spoke to those who you trusted whole heartedly. He had become insanely protective of you, and treated you like a sister, which you absolutely loved.

Everything was going great. That was, until Chris Evans showed up.

He had just finished filming his latest project, and decided to come and visit his two closest friends that he hadn’t seen in a few months. Mackie had mentioned that he was coming, and would be staying in the spare bedroom, and you foolishly assumed that he would tell Chris about your mutism.

But Mackie being Mackie, he didn’t. And neither did Seb, who also thought Mackie had told him.

You hid in your room when Chris arrived, not ready to face him at that point. You ventured out just after dinner time, and grabbed a plate of food before retreating back into your safe haven with the cover of working on an assignment that you had told to Seb. They bought it, and you and Chris made eye contact and shared a wave before you disappeared from sight.

A few days later is when all hell broke loose.

Chris seemed to have a habit of searching you and Seb out. It started off with him walking into our bedroom while Seb was talking to you, and admiring how you’d decorated the place. Yo gave him a small shy smile, which he returned, although there was a hint of confusion written all over his face. Then, you were asking Sebastian for clarification on the Romanian lines that you were supposed to speak the next day, when Chris wandered in to the kitchen. He noticed how you instantly fell silent, and whispered a thank you to Sebastian before you scurried past him. How watched your back retreat, and sighed, but grabbed his the beer he came for before walking into the living room.

It was later that night that you had decided that you wanted to talk to Chris. You hadn’t known him very long, but you felt very safe around him, and everyone had told you how trustworthy he was. You had spent the last 30 minutes hyping yourself up in the mirror before walking out on a journey to find him. You heard his voice floating from the kitchen, and as you got closer, your heart instantly broke.

“I just don’t get what her problem is with me.” You heard Chris say. Another voice, Seb, responded.

“Chris, I don’t think she has a problem with you,”

Chris scoffed. “Yes she does. Why else would she not talk to me, and rush out of a room quicker than she entered when I walk in? She has a huge problem with me. I don’t know why she thinks that just because she got a part in a movie that she can walk around all high and mighty, but I’ve done nothing to her. She’s being a bitch,”

You heard Seb exclaim and start to defend you, but you didn’t stay to listen to what he said, instead running back to your room in tears, your confidence shattered. You grabbed your iPad and apple pencil, and began to draw, an activity that let you communicate your feelings. You wanted to show Chris that you didn’t hate him, and that you didn’t think more of yourself just because you got a part in a movie.

You finished it right before dinner, and kept it in your grip tightly when Mackie called you down for dinner. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you made your way down the stairs, but your face fell, and eyes welled up with tears when you saw Chris wasn’t there.

“Is Chris coming to dinner?” You asked Seb, and he shook his head no sadly.

“No. He’s not in the best mood, but dont worry, he’ll be fine.” He said, as he grabbed his plate.

“Oh, okay.” You said, your voice coming out shaky. You looked down at the ipad in your hands, before walking out the kitchen. Seb followed behind you. Just before you reached the stairs, he gripped your arm, causing you to turn around.

“What’s wrong?” He asked sincerely, and you couldn’t hold back the tears.

“I-I heard h-him talking about m-me earlier,” You whispered, and Seb cursed before pulling you into a hug.

“You heard him,” He said. You nodded before speaking again.

“I drew him a picture and I wanted to give it to him to show that what h-he said wasn’t t-true, and that I’m actually a huge fan of his,” You sobbed into his chest. Seb didn’t move, but waited for your tears to subside, before walking with you upstairs.

“He’ll come around. He had a rough night, although that doesn’t excuse his behaviour. I’ll talk to him, okay?”

You nodded, and curled up in bed. “Do you want me to bring you up some dinner?” Seb asked, and you nodded again, before telling him what you wanted.

He left the room, and came down the stairs. he plated the food that you wanted, and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge.

“What happened?” Anthony asked from the dining room as Seb passed.

“She heard what Evans said, and she’s heartbroken. I’m bringing her dinner, and then I’m gonna talk some sense into that motherfucker.”

“Good, he needs it.” Anthony agreed, watching as Seb walked away.

Seb dropped the food off to you, before walking across the hall to Chris’s room. He answered after the first knock.

“What’s up?”

“First of all, you’re a grade A asshole, and second of all, you need to go apologize to Y/N.” Seb said, anger bubbling in his voice.

“Why? She hates me, I’ve done nothing to her to-“ Chris began before Seb interrupted him.

“SHE DOESN’T HATE YOU!” He exclaimed. “She’s selectively mute, that’s why she doesn’t speak to you! She’s a huge fan of you. She’s in her bedroom, right now, heartbroken, because she heard you talking about her.” Seb finished, his hand pointing at your bedroom door.

Chris felt his heart sink. “Why does she talk to you, but not me?”

Seb sighed. “She only talks to people she trusts a lot, and you met her yesterday. Of course she’s not gonna talk to you right away, and now I’m afraid she never will because you talked bad about her. She drew you a picture in hopes that you would understand that she didn’t hate you, but you broke her heart even more by not showing up at dinner. Now, go and fix it or will not hesitate to call your mother.” Seb finished, before walking away.

Chris sat back down on his bed in disbelief. He’d fucked up, and he didn’t know how to fix it. He thought back to Seb’s threat, before picking up his phone and calling his mom.

You had just finished another episode of Criminal Minds, when a knock came to your bedroom door. You dragged yourself out of bed, and opened the door to reveal Chris. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and kept them locked on the floor, in fear that he was going to yell at you, and repeat his earlier statements to your face.

“I’m sorry,” Chris breathed out. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You slowly moved your eyes up to meet his, and he sucked in a breath when he saw your puffy eyes. “It’s ok.” You signed, and Chris shook his head no, before enveloping you into his arms.

He moved the two of your further into your bedroom, and shut the door behind him.

“It is NOT okay. In any way. I broke your fucking heart, Y/N. I have no excuse for what I said, and I want to make it up to you. Will you let me do that?” He asked, his face buried into the hair atop your head. You nodded and he pulled away from you. You grabbed your ipad, opened up your text to speech app, and typed in a sentence.

“Do you want to watch a movie with me?”

Chris nodded, and smiled, his thumb brushing over your cheek. “Of course. You pick.”

You led him over to the bed, and got in, and he climbed in the opposite side. You picked up the remote, and chose the movie “Swat: Under Siege”. Chris wrapped an arm around your shoulders, and pulled you close to him. You cuddled into his chest as the movies opening scene began to play.

About halfway through the movie, Chris tilted your chin up to look at him.

“I really am sorry. I hate that I said what I did. I just- Seb had told me all about you, and I had seen some of the leaked pictures from set, and all I wanted to do was impress you. When I thought you hated me, I couldn’t handle it, and I lashed out. I’m so so sorry about that.” He said, his thumb teaching over your cheekbone once more. “Also, Seb told me that you drew me a picture? Can I see it?” And you nodded.

You unlocked your ipad and opened the drawing app, clicking on the most recent one, before handing the device over to Chris.

His breath caught in his throat while he looked down at the picture you had drawn of him.

“T-that is amazing,” He said, tears coming to his eyes at the picture that you worked so hard to make of him. “You’re even more amazing than I thought.” He finished. “Thank you,” You signed, before thinking of a question.

You grabbed your iPad once more, and typed into your app.

“Why did you want to impress me?” Chris smiled at the sound of the robotic voice coming from the device.

“I was drawn to you. I dont know what is was, but I couldn’t get you off my mind. I had searched and searched to find another tv or movie you had been in, but nothing came up, and I was so shocked that you got such a big part right off the bat. But I was also insanely excited to see you perform. And when Seb and Mackie told me I could come and stay for a while, I was ecstatic to be able to get to know you, and that’s when I realized that I liked you.”

Your breath caught in your throat at his words. Did Chris Evans really just admit to having a crush on you?

“Now, I understand if you dont like me back, but I had to get that off my chest, especially since I just broke your heart.” Chris said, his eyes focused on the tv to not meet your gaze. You gave him a small smile, but grasped his chin into your hand, and drew his lips into a soft and tender kiss.

He let out a breathy moan, and pulled you closer. His lips travelled from your lips, and all over your face, amking you let out a giggle. He started laughing too, and pulled away. “I’m guessing this means that you like me too?” He asked, and you nodded immediately.

He smiled, and grasped your hand in his. “Well then, can I take you on a date?”

You took a deep breath, and opened your mouth. “Yes.”

Chris’s eyes immediately welled up with tears and he pulled you in for another kiss.

“You spoke to me,” He whispered when he pulled apart, a few tears rolling down his face.

You shrugged and gave him a smile.

“I trust you wholeheartedly.”

#chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans x reader fluff #sebastian stan #anthony mackie

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hauntedbythefanficsofmypast · 2 years

Text

Quarantine lead to YouTube pt. 1

Masterlist

"She's pacing again." Tom said, looking up at the trapdoor to his daughter's room. " This Quarantine is driving her crazy. Marinette has only holed herself up like this for her fashion designs, now she has no work and isn't able to leave. What are we going to do?" Sabine reached out taking his hand as she followed his gaze.

"Tom, this is our Marinette. She will find something, who knows by the end of this she might write her own book." Sabine said letting out a small laugh causing her husband to grin. "I'm not saying to not worry, she is our daughter we will always worry, but we also need her to grow on her own. Marinette will find something to help her. Even if it's talking to those new friends over voice call every day. Although I will never change the fact the I believe they have the weirdest names. Now come on, we need to packaged Mayor Bourgeois order. Mr. Jean will be here soon. To pick it up and if we don't hurry he'll be here before we can place it on the table."

"You are right, as always. Let's go."

"UGH!!! TIKKI WHATS SHOULD I DO!?" Tom and Dabine looked back at the trapdoor surprised at her outburst.

"Mari, please calm down. We'll figure something out."

"See, she is in good hands with Tikki. Hopefully, after this pandemic we can have Tikki and all her other online friends over at some point." Sabine said with a wistful smile as they walked down to the bakery stopping at the door to put on gloves and a mask.

Marinette collapsed on her chase looking around her room despondent. She had finished every single fashion commission she had, and used up the last of her fabric making herself new clothes. Ran through all her sketchbooks front to back, pretty much maxed out her memory on her iPad with all her digital drawings. Rearranged her room six times and her balcony. Her morning patrol had already ended and now she had nothing to do but rearrange her room again.

The Kwami rested in their own little rooms that Marinette had made about a week in.

She has to get permission to drill 16 holes in her ceiling, but her parents hadn't minded too much. Then she had to order big enough pots so that she would have enough room for plants on the top and a little hole hidden so the Kwami could be out of the box. That had been her first pet project before she went through all her fabric.

Tikki flew over sitting g on her chosen's shoulder. She patted Marinette’s cheek gently, trying to think of a way to help her. Trixx peaked out her home watching the two before flying over to Marinette’s phone and opening it.

"I have an idea!" Trixx announced with a grin, as she opened the app she was looking for, she held up the phone showing the familiar site. "I think this will be perfect Marinette!"

"Watching videos?" She asked, doing her best to hide her disappointment at the idea. Trixx grinned wider as she flew over to Marinette’s PC.

"No, making them!"

"Alright! Hi whoever decides to watch this, I'm Mini-nette and I'm super bored so, let's play Ultimate Mecha Strike three online! The newest update to one of my favorite games that is still controversial. However I'm not going to turn my nose up at having something to do other than scream from my balcony." Marinette finished with no emotion looking at the camera blankly. She sat in silence before grinning and looking at her keyboard. "I wish I was joking." Marinette said as she minimized herself showing the game opening page fully. "Anyway now that I am Mini-Me let's start, while I am playing online I will be doing it with my friend. Since I don't have his permission let's just call him M! We usually played together, so the online update made us very happy!” She pulled up her chat screen, shooting Max a quick message before entering their usual server. “M should be in with us soon so while we are waiting I am going to pick my usual character LB-03! I will take no complaints or criticisms, I like the funky looking ladybug mecha. Oh~! M is on and of course he has picked his favorite MX-01 and now we are ready!” Marinette and Max began their battle and for a while all that was heard was Marinette furiously typing away. “No no no no yes! NO! Oh that was a lucky shot!” She cried out as Max managed to take half her health. “I will not back down!” She announced loudly glaring slightly at the screen only to be pouting a few minutes as the screen flashed ‘MR-HORSE-MAN WON’ She huffed at the teasing comment he sent her about getting rusty. “I’m going to destroy him.” She announced as she challenged him to a rematch. “A W S A! She chanted as she entered the combo. “Take that! Haha! What was that about me getting rusty M?”

She recorded a few more matches before deciding to end with them tying in wins. She typed out a goodnight to Max before returning herself to fullscreen. “Alright! Thanks to whoever decided to watch me play with my friend! I hope you have a good night or day! This is Mini-nette Signing off! Bye-Bye!” Marinette ended the video with a soft grin on her face.

“You looked like you had fun Mari.” Tikki said as she left her home flying over and resting on Marinette’s shoulder. “You two played for a long time.” Trixx flew up letting out a laugh as she twirled above Marinette’s keyboard.

“I was right, I was right!” She said before landing on Marinette’s hand hugging her thumb. Marinette hummed, lifting her hand and bringing Trixx closer to her face. “I was right, Marinette! You did enjoy it, now you just have to edit and post it! Then you can make more, with different games and-and you can even make a fashion blog!” Trixx began to ramble on excitedly, as Marinette and Tikki watched her fondly. Marinette moved her closer, kissing the top of her head.

“Yes, you were right Trixx. Thank you for the idea, but for now let's stick to one youtube channel.” She said softly as she used her other hand to open the editing software. “Now I am going to go downstairs, and grab the little plate my mom made for me. Then start editing while you all eat your dinner.” Marinetee stood from her chair shooting a smile to Wayzz as he flew to her mini burner and teapot.

“I shall start brewing our Tea Guardian Marinette.” He announced beginning to make his favorite tea, Marinette absolutely hated it, but could never say no to Wayzz. Trixx let go of Marinette’s hand flying down to the keyboard.

“I’ll pull up everything for you to edit while you're down there!”

“Thank you Trixx.” Marinette said before making her way down her ladder.

“Girl! Have you checked that Youtube account you created!!” Alya yelled over the phone as Marinette let out a fond laugh. “You blew up! You have ten thousand followers right now and you posted four days ago!”

“What…” Marinette quickly opened her laptop pulling up Youtube. She stared at her page in silence as Alya prattled on in the background. “People…people are following me?” Alya let out a snort on the other end of the phone and Marinette could tell she was rolling her eyes.

“Don’t be surprised Marinette, of course people followed you. It’s your first video and thanks to all that time you spent with Max learning different computer stuff, it is edited to practical perfection! On top of that Mari, you are you, people are just naturally drawn to you and your dorkiness.” Marinette smiled softly at Alya’s words, turning away from her laptop and picking her phone back up.

“It's just hard to grasp that people actually want to see more from me.”

“Of course they do! So that means you need to start making another one! Youtubers usually post once or twice a week so you need to get your but in gear! Plan your next video tonight, shoot and edit it tomorrow okay? Meanwhile, I’ll write up some contracts so you can use our friends' names in videos without problems. I’ll send it to you tonight and if you need help planning just call me!’

“Thanks Alya, you're the best.”

“Anything for my best friend, now I gotta get to work. Love ya girl!”

Alya called out before hanging up. Marinette was silent as she looked back at her screen.

“Time to get planning.”

#miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #miraculous fanfic #miraculous au #youtube #quarantine #miraculous marinette #marinette dupain cheng

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