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amphxtrite · 3 years

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cedric diggory x fem!reader

part two: Dreamiest Boy in School.

warnings: smut, shower sex, swearing, oral (female receiving), masturbation.

If you are not comfortable please do not read.

summary: Cedric’s been in love with you for years. What will he do when he catches the reader moaning his name after a quidditch game in the prefect’s bathroom. Fluff at the end.

a/n: characters are 18+ and it is fully consensual.

word count: 4.2k

enjoy<3

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Cedric first met you in his fifth year when he’d first been appointed captain of the hufflepuff team, it was your first time trying out despite also being in your fifth, but it was no secret that it wasn’t your first time on the pitch. You were a natural, blocking quaffles with ease, letting none enter the goal. Your movements were smooth, elegant, but forceful, effectively getting the job done, but truly showing off the art of flying. Cedric had to forcibly pinch himself after you touched down.

Today was a rough game against gryffindor, It went on much longer than it needed to with Ms. Pink Toad calling random people from the pitch and ‘hem hemming’ every time someone managed to score a goal. When Cedric had eventually caught the snitch, he had to deal with a ten minute long speech from Umbridge speaking of his bravery and strength, he cut it short after she began to run her hands over his face.

Now came Cedric’s favourite part of the game, his friends had already congratulated him on the win, but he was close by you and your friends as you touched down from the goal post. You were distributing high-fives to everyone, even throwing Cedric a quick thumbs up before running to your gym bag and taking a long sip from your water bottle. Here it comes, your pupils glance from side to side, scanning the area before grabbing the hem of your jersey to dab at the sweat running down your face. No one on the team cared you did this, but you still felt weird randomly pulling your jersey up to clean off your face. You did this after every practice and game, and although he didn’t mean to intrude Cedric found himself gazing at you often.

Cedric takes his bottom lip into his teeth as he looks to the grass beneath him, his thoughts running wild. He pictures what it would be like if he was the one pulling at your shirt, slowly pushing it up your gorgeous body as you beg him to take it off, rolling your hips desperately against his. The seeker’s pants were starting to get a little more constricting at the thought.

Ever since his first time seeing you at the pitch, he’d find himself thinking of you this way a lot. His name spilling from your lips, mouth agape, legs quivering. It kept him awake often, thinking about you. Imagining the feeling of your lips pressed to his as he rocked his hips in and out of you. He didn’t appreciate the sinful thoughts encasing his mind every time he saw you, it drove him insane. Any time you licked your lips, shook out your hair, smirked or even simply laughed, he’d have to excuse himself to rid of the heat from his face.

It was even worse the two of you had become close friends in the last two years, you were the person to help and train him for the triwizard tournament, working out with him often and supporting him through his challenges, also being his unofficial ‘date’ to the ball. You pushed him well, preparing him for the physical challenges that lay ahead in the contest, but only having his crush grow as you worked by his side and hugged him good luck. After he won, you were one of the first people he went to after his father. You had jumped into his arms and held him tight as he recounted the story of how Voldemort had stunned him and Harry had saved his life. Upon finishing the story, you had kissed him on the cheek and whispered.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do if you were gone.”

He knew then that he was never going to let you go.

Cedric did his best to put your friendship first, reminding himself of your platonic status and your great history. He couldn’t jeopardize it all, even if he fancied you. Running himself a cold shower after stripping down his robes in the prefect’s bathroom, he tries to place his thoughts in a different headspace. He ignores his surroundings as he tries to rid himself of the dirty images, letting the cold water stream onto his face. It was practically useless, his mind drifted back to your lips pulled between your teeth or how your lips felt against his cheek after each hit of cold water. With one small thought, his arousal and need grows.

Sighing quietly and shutting the tap off, the hufflepuff head boy wraps a towel around his waist as he picks up his bag to begin getting changed. Halfway to zip open his bag, he can hear a shaky voice calling, not to far away.

“Oh f-fuck Ced.”

Body immediately going rigid, the wide-eyed boy regains his train of thought and remembering where he is, glancing around the showers. The voice was so familiar, close.

So... dream-like. Sifting through his memories to match the voice, he thinks of people close to him that were also prefects or head girls, the only person to came to mind was you, but that was impossible. What were you doing saying his name so beautifully.

“Faster, please.” The voice rang out again in a softer mewl. The brunette’s cheeks light on fire as the voice finally registers in his ears, no doubt it was your soft cry. Despite his better judgment, Cedric needed to check this out. To make sure he wasn’t just imagining your voice begging for him.

As he approaches the shower he hears the voice from, he can hear a heavy pant and a shower getting louder. Standing before the closed curtain. His hand hovering over top the thin material, he mentally debates this, perhaps he was wrong. He might’ve misheard, and the he’d be barging in on a random girl. Pulling his hand away he turn to leave, but another moan perks his attention.

“F-fuck Cedric, I-I’m gonna c-cum.” A quivering whimper, cries his name again.

He’d heard you say his name about a million times, cheering him on, talking to him, laughing out his name. That was you inside, about to cum to his image.

Not able to take it anymore and he rips open the shower curtain, his cock springing up under the towel and pure desire taking over his senses. There you were, damp hair streaming down your shoulders, leaning against a wall with one hand on your breast and the other deep between your legs, pushing in and out at a rapid pace, practically sobbing for release.

“Are you masturbating?”

You barely register the soft question, but as your eyes open they instantly flash with horror and you immediately pull your hands away from your body, meeting gazes with a wide-eyed Cedric. A flood of embarrassment consumes you, he must have heard you. Merlin, you felt disgusting.

“Oh my gosh Cedric I’m so sorry!” You apologize frantically, rushing to grab your towel and cover yourself as tears of self-consciousness begin to well in your eyes. “I didn’t- I’m so sorry.” You try and push him out of your way, but Cedric will not let you pass, his grey eyes still staring holes into you. Agonizing seconds pass as he simply looks you down, your head swiveling around to look anywhere but his stoic gaze.

Finally smirks in amusement, Cedric reaches over and takes your chin in between his fingers, forcing your head up to meet his eyes, you ready yourself for a lecture, or maybe screams, but it doesn’t come.

“I like the way you said my name.” Cedric teases, pushing you back into the running shower.

“Hands between your thighs and on your breast, were you thinking about this?” Cedric purrs, pushing you against the smooth wall and pressing his chest against yours, slowly rocking his hard on against your sensitive clit with the rough towel around his waist.

“Imagining me taking you in the shower, fucking you against the wall and whispering dirty thoughts into your ear?” He continues in a low voice, continuing the gentle rock of his hips.

Your mouth drops open at Cedric’s reaction and the waves of pleasure clouding your senses. “Answer me.” Cedric growls, pushing harder against you and encasing you in his arms, his elbows by your head and his forearms against the wall. “Y-yes, I-I was.” your soft voice breathes out. “Yes, who?” Cedric grins, his eyes growing dark with lust as he watches you writhe beneath him. “Yes Cedric.” You moan as the toned hufflepuff continues to roll his hips slowly, an approving smirk spreading on his lips.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wished to do this love.” Cedric begins to nip at your neck, sucking and kissing around until he finds the spot that makes your breath hitch. You bite your lip to suppress the upcoming moan.

“Stop.” Cedric’s needy voice growls at you. “The only one who’ll be biting those lips is me.” He states, desire lacing every word.

Roughly pushing his lips against yours in a heated kiss, his warm tongue swirls around your mouth, drinking in your intoxicating taste and gliding his rough fingertips up and down your body, memorizing every curve before coming to rest on your hips. Your teeth clash, pleasure and heat travel to your core, fueling your arousal as a hard member prods at you from under Cedric’s dangerously low towel.

“Besides, I want the whole castle to know you’re mine.” The grey-eyed hufflepuff bucks his hips into yours again making you squirm. “C-Cedric!” You cry out, wrapping your arms around his muscular shoulders and digging your nails into your champion’s back, the steam in the shower clouds your perception even more, all you could sense was Cedric’s body against yours, every muscle every scar. Cedric’s teasing lips pull up again as you begin to ramble.

“I-I need you.” you beg nervously, grinding your hips against the soaked material of Cedric’s towel.

“Would you like my fingers or my tongue love.” Cedric’s cool digits brush the inside of your thighs, you nearly jump at the feeling. “Both.” You manage to whimper out as Cedric’s hard stare bores into you.

“Dirty girl.” He smirks teasingly, his voice smooth as satin and dark as sin. “Beg for it.”

You could feel your arousal growing at Cedric’s words. You’d never seen him as the type to wish his partner to beg, but Merlin you weren’t complaining.

“Please Cedric, I need you. You make me feel so fucking good, please don’t stop, let the whole castle know who I belong to.”

Your champion’s eyes go from a piercing grey to almost black as lust and arousal course through his veins. He slowly lowers himself to the ground, pressing kisses all the way down to where you needed him most. Cedric takes his time spreading your legs apart and kissing up your inner thighs and blowing on your clit, sending shockwaves up your trembling form. He looks back up at you as he leans forwards and licks a stripe through your folds and begins to swirl his tongue around your clit. Your thoughts run cold, all that consumes your mind was the ecstasy running through your veins, Cedric flicking his tongue around your sex, fucking you with his tongue and lapping hungrily at your sweet juices.

“Oh fuck Cedric, please don’t stop.” Your mewling voice begs needlingly, breathing heavily to keep yourself from falling over.

Cedric smiles into you and slowly teases his fingers around your entrance, tracing along the edge of your slit before sinking two long digits into your wetness. spots flash in front of your eyes as your head falls back against the wall. Cedric pulls and pushes his fingers in and out of you at a quick pace, twisting them around and bending slightly as your walls grow tighter around him. He uses his body to keep your legs from doubling over in pleasure and continues to ravage you with both his tongue and fingers. flicking and sucking at your bundle of nerves while thrusting his fingers in and out of your core. A familiar knot begins to form and you dig your hand into Cedric’s damp hair, pulling him closer to you and desperately rocking your hips against his face, desperate for any more friction he could give you. Cedric chuckles at your moaning form. Sending even more delicious vibrations to your sensitive clit, as moans mix with longing cries of your lover’s name. Cedric pulls his mouth away, bringing himself to a standing position, still burying his fingers in you, replacing his tongue with his calloused thumb to massage your throbbing bundle of nerves.

“You don’t know what you do to me darling. How does it make you feel that you give me a hard-on every time you lift that shirt up to wipe your face? Every time you bite that gorgeous lip, or flip your hair you’d have me wanting to bend you over and fuck you senseless.”

You try and respond, but the pleasure Cedric was giving to you was all your mind could take. The sound of his fingers pounding into your wet core and Cedric’s deep pants were driving you insane. You can only moan in response and crash your lips against his again. You can taste yourself as Cedric dips his tongue against yours, nibbling on your lip and picking up his pace with his fingers. A familiar knot forms in your abdomen and you have to pull away from Cedric’s lips to moan and arch your back even more, you can feel your walls clenching tighter against the rough fingers pounding in and out of you.

All at once the knot snaps and waves upon waves of euphoria washes over you and consuming your vision in white. Crying out Cedric’s name over and over again, the brunette helps you ride out your high, continuing to pulse his fingers in your clenching hole and kneeling down again to lap up your juices as you moan out and rock your hips gently, Cedric’s cock begins to twitch like mad watching he waves of cum spill from your core, but he takes his time, savoring every drop of your sex.

Cedric is practically beaming with pride as he stands again, holding the back of your head in his large hand.

“So sweet love.” He smirks, wiping a drop of your cum off of his bottom lip with his thumb and licking it off slowly, keeping direct eye contact with you. Your face was red, your legs quivering, and deep breaths sounding from your lips.

“I’m not done with you yet darling.” Cedric drops the towel from his waist and boxes you in his arms again.

“You won’t be able to walk when I’m through with you.” The toned seeker teases in a dark voice.

Feeling his length against your stomach you bite back a moan, fuck he was big. You were unsure what to do, but taking his twitching cock into your hand, you pump his length experimentally, receiving a soft moan in return. Picking up the pace, you spread the precum on his tip as a lubricant. Working your hand against him, he reconnects your lips, a soft whimper flowing from Cedric’s lips. You keep using your hand to pleasure your champion, but Cedric can’t take it anymore.

“I need to be inside of you darling.” Cedric rasps, reluctantly pulling your hand from his throbbing tip and wrapping his arms around you.

“jump.”

Without hesitation you leap up and wrap your legs around Cedric’s hips and he presses you against the wall for support.

“Ready Love?” Cedric smirks, his hands squeezing your ass and cock teasing your soft folds.

“Shut up and take me Diggory.”

Cedric wastes no time sinking into you, slowly at first, letting you adjust to his thick shaft, small grunts sounding from your lips as Cedric sink deeper.

“You’re taking me so well darling, f-fuck.” Cedric groans, sticking his head in the crook of your neck, nibbling on your sensitive skin and squeezing your hips.

Tears prick in your eyes as Cedric bottoms out in you, burying your hand in his wet brown curls you whimper at the feeling of being so full.

After a couple moments the pain turns to pleasure and you shimmy around motioning to Cedric it’s okay to move. The brunette begins to thrust in and out of you, slow at first, but soon finding a rhythm, pulling in and out of you in a quick pace, thrusting out to almost his tip before burying himself to the hilt inside you once again.

“Faster Cedric.” your pleading voice gasps and pleads.

Cedric obliges, snapping his hips back and forth to the point you see spots in your vision and you’re dragging your nails down your champions back. Cedric frantically presses his lips against yours again as he groans loudly. You swallow the moan in the kiss and cup your hands around Cedric’s defined jawline, pulling him closer and clenching your core in surprise as he pushes his thumb to your clit.

Your reaction pulls another breathy moan from Cedric, but his thrusts don’t stop. He continues to pound into you, his desire out weighing any tiredness that should’ve been.

Your loud moans only egg him on further. Your sinful, desperate pleas for more drive him insane. Arching your back and rolling your hips, Cedric pounds even further into you.

“Fuck Cedric, right there.” Your loud beg cries out and Cedric smirks, slamming his hips into your spot over and over again. Screams of pleasure and sighs of satisfaction fill the air. Wet sounds of skin on skin ring throughout the large bathroom as Cedric sinks deep into you with each needy thrust.

Parting your lips, another choked moan is pulled from your lips and your vision goes blank once again as your coil snaps and your grip tightens on Cedric. Your champion doesn’t stop, his thrusts are still merciless and needy, but as your slit clenches his cock in a tight hold, his thrust becomes lazier and he can feel his release coming soon.

“You make me feel so good Ced, I’ve had my hand in between my legs thinking about this for so long, o-oh fuck.” You moan in a teasing voice against the brunettes ear. You can feel Cedric’s upper body go rigid as he uses the last of his strength to snap his hips into yours like his life depended on it. Your dirty talk making him imagine your naked body lying on your bed, moaning out his name, probably only a hallway away from him. Years of lust and love fuel his next thrusts. Every time he’d painfully gotten hard because of you, every time he imagined you underneath him and making you scream his name in ecstasy was all coming true and groaning your name into the crook of your neck he snaps his hips in a desperate thrust one more time before releasing all over your tight walls, his body pulsing in euphoria sending shockwaves of pleasure through his entire being.

Your eyes roll back and your legs jolt at his powerful stream, thanking Merlin you had taken the potion to help with cramps not too long ago. You begin to roll your hips lazily to help Cedric ride out his orgasm, your core practically numb with pleasure and your entire body exhausted. Cedric is panting heavily, his hand buried in your hair and his other still supports your body. He gives your bum a small squeeze, your body still against the wall and his still pressed to yours in support, letting the warm water from the tap relax your tired muscles and wash the proof of your pleasures off of your legs, while still intimately connected.

Cedric smiles as he looks deep into your eyes, still panting heavily, but now with nervousness and a slight anxiety. He couldn’t keep his true feelings from you any longer.

“You know I love you right?” The hufflepuff head boy confesses, running a hand down the side of your face.

“I’d hope so, considering you just fucked me senseless.” You giggle and wrap your arms around Cedric’s toned shoulders.

Your giggle dies down to a grin and a pink blush makes it’s way onto your face as you look down to see the two of you still connected

“I love you too.” You smile earnestly, a smile playing on your lips and you press a kiss to Cedric’s pink cheek. “I’ve loved you since those days in fifth year when I trained with you, you don’t know how relieved I was you survived, and with Umbridge around I thought I might never get the chance to confess.” Your emotions come through and Cedric has to blink the pure happiness from his eyes to respond.

“I’ve loved you since the moment you came rushing into my arms after the maze, I had a crush on you before, but i’ll never forget when you said those words, I knew I’d never let you go.” Cedric’s smile falters a bit as your stare drops to his lips.

“C-can I kiss you?” His face grows closer to yours.

“Didn’t ask for permission while you were cumming in me.” You tease, peppering kisses all around Cedric’s handsome features as his face grows hot in embarrassment.

“I-Is that a yes?” He murmurs hopefully, your soft lips trailing down his jawline.

You smile and press a kiss to the corner of Cedric’s mouth.

“As long as I can be your girl.” You giggle.

Cedric immediately pushes his lips to yours in a more delicate, but wanting kiss. Taking his time now to show you his adoration and care for you. The sounds of your lips molding together sounding through the large shower. Cedric runs his tongue through your mouth again, slowly this time, sighing at the taste of your after-game drink and the light taste of strawberry chap stick that remained on the inside your lips, begging to be found and appreciated.

As Cedric continues to ravage your mouth you run your hands up and down his chest and abs, taking deep breaths of his autumn like scent. Campfire, vanilla and honey were the most prominent, while his aftershave also offered a sharp, wood like smell.

“I love you y/n, so much. It would be an honor to have you as my girl.” Cedric sighs against your lips, placing one final peck before pulling away and grinning like a little kid. A smile begins to form on your face.

“Hey, did you think you could, you know.” You awkwardly motion down towards where you were still intertwined. “My legs are kid of sore.” Cedric’s eyes widen in realization and he nods frantically, apologies spilling from his lips as he slowly pulls out of you with a small ‘pop.’ Cedric lowers your feet to the ground and begins to back up, but the sudden weight removed from your body made your legs forget how to move and you crash into Cedric’s chest again.

Your legs felt numb and you couldn’t get them to move properly without falling. Cedric does his best to hide his pride as your lips pull into a frown, but a small smirk emerges as he bites his lip to stop it. He glances down and also notices the small purple love bites littering your neck and he almost beams.

“I hope you’re happy with yourself Ced, I can’t walk.” You roll your eyes at his useless attempt to stop his smile.

“I am, and I must say you look absolutely ravishing sporting my love bites darling.” He grins darkly, but a light chuckle breaks free.

“Alright let’s get you dressed, come on.” Cedric turns the tap off before leaning over again and catching your legs in his arms, carrying you bridal style out of shower, grabbing your towel and gym bag on the way out.

Placing you down on a bench, he grabs his own fluffy, white towel from his bag. Using it to pat your hair and body dry, making sure to get every inch of your body, and being careful around your intimate parts as you winced often. Grabbing another school-provided towel, he pats his upper-body dry before tying the cloth around his waist. Shaking out his damp hair, he grabs your bag and places it next to you.

“Do you think you can do it yourself darling?” His voice is filled with concern, but you nod and zip open your bag. Cedric turns to his own clothes and after tugging on a pair of boxers and sweatpants, wipes his hair dry before throwing on a t-shirt.

He turns to see you in a black sports bra, tugging on a pair of black tights, but unable to get them up your bum. Cedric smirks, walking over to you and pulling you up, holding you against him as a support while you finally get the leggings on. He sits you back down before pulling a jumper out of his bag and slipping it over your head.

The sweater seems to swallow you whole and it takes a moment to find the holes for your arms. You thank Cedric and sigh at being engulfed in Cedric’s sweet scent, pulling the jumper over your nose and smiling in content.

“You look better in my clothes than I do.” Cedric smirks happily, pulling you up again and interlocking your hands.

“Well in that case I guess I’ll keep it.” You grin, slipping on your sneakers and following Cedric out the prefect bathroom to the best of your abilities, having to stop often due to the aftershock of Cedric’s desperate pounding. Finally resorting to Cedric carrying you once again. Thankfully Dolores and her goons seemed to be missing from the scene.

Finally making it back to the hufflepuff common room, Cedric sneaks you into his dorm and closes the canopy around his four poster bed. Breathing out in content, The head boy cuddles you into his chest and wraps his arms around your torso.

“Can’t believe you’re actually here on my bed with me, I’ve only dreamt of this.” Cedric murmurs giddily, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your nose.

You snake your arms around Cedric’s broad chest and cuddle closer to him.

“I’m never letting you go, you know that.” Your champion teases, kissing your hairline.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You reassure, closing your eyes tiredly and slowly drifting off, exhaustion from the day's activities getting to you.

Cedric peers down at you a happy smile resting on his lips as he too yawns and relaxes into his pillow. This day couldn’t have gone any better. He won the game, fucked you in the shower and now he’s cuddling you in his bed. His blush reappears onto his cheeks as your breathy moans engrave themselves into his brain, but pride takes over as he reminds himself it was him who made you moan like that. Peppering kisses on your forehead he finally closes his eyes and replays your evening with a small smirk.

This is my first time writing smut so tips would be appreciated!

#harry potter imagine #cedricsbrowncurls #cedric diggory fluff #cedric diggory smut #harry potter fandom #cedric smut #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory x reader #smut #fluff #shower smut #holy fuck #cedric diggory #cedric x y/n #cedric x you #hope you like it #nsfw.anya

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guqin-and-flute · 3 years

Note

please tell me everything about yanxiyao. i am invested. nay, i am obsessed. an ot3 made up entirely of people who Deserved Better and they are GETTING IT. i don’t care if it’s deep, agonizing 3AM thoughts that make me question how i think about life and love and the mortifying ordeal of being known or if it’s pointless fluffbits scrounged up from your daydreams. GIVE THEM TO ME

AHA, this delighted me, I’m so glad!! [rubs hands] Okay, you have unlocked the avalanche, stream of consciousness, here we go. Boy howdy this got long, so full rambling under the cut.

So I’ve already outlined how it starts with JGY, but you’ve probably seen that and I’m probably going to actually write a getting together fic at some point if the scenes start falling out of the sky into my head, so I’ll skip past that for the time being and start with the beginning of the triad. It begins in a most definite V with JGY as the hinge--Xichen and Yanli are very careful and considerate about each other’s time with him and try very hard not to overlap. Most things are separate--sex times, dates, meals (unless it’s everyone [siblings, et. al] eating together), sleepovers.

However, something happens. Perhaps JGY starts asking to spend a day with both of them, perhaps the greeting conversations when Xichen visits grow longer and warmer and bleed into sitting together over tea, laughing, and forgetting the days plans. Perhaps the way Xichen delights in holding their daughter and playing so very patiently with her begins to completely charm Yanli.

Perhaps it’s when Yanli and JGY leave the toddler with Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng to go for a nice leisurely trip together to Gusu but the weather turns and they have to stay in an inn in the middle of nowhere overnight and Yanli’s health takes a sharp dive all of a sudden and JGY sends a Jin butterfly to tell Xichen the situation and that they’re going to be late. And it’s only after he’s sent it that it comes to his attention that this rinky-dink village’s doctor actually lives in the next city over and is out of town for his daughter’s wedding or something idiotic and won’t be back for days--he has learned this after a slog through the rain to said doctor’s empty house in said next-city-over and then returned to demand of the innkeeper what exactly he’s playing at, sending him out like that when he knew the doctor wasn’t there. And he’s in the process of not strangling the innkeeper when the door bursts open and it’s Xichen, completely waterlogged and anxious and JGY is appalled that he’s just flown through a thunderstorm but secretly very, very relieved he is here.

And so they go upstairs and Yanli is incredibly happy to see both of them, especially since her fever has gotten worse and she is freezing. She wants snuggles and JGY reasons that they should both get in on it, because more body heat, y’know (he’s only trying to help, there are limited options, here) but he and Xichen both are completely soaked from traveling in the rain and they hesitate. Yanli is very much, ‘Oh noooo, the 2 hot men who need to snuggle me are covered in wet cloooothes?? Whatever shall we doooo?’ And the both of them are very seriously trying to tell her that Xichen will need to take off his robes if they’re going to be in bed together and is she okay with that and she’s like, ‘WhaAaaAaat? 😲 Holy cow, I guess I’ll suffer through :3c’ And they laugh and snuggle and sleep and the next few days is them taking care of her while she apologizes for getting sick and ruining the trip while they maintain that this is very nice, actually, minus her feeling terrible. They don’t actually visit Gusu and just end up spending time together in the inn while she recovers.

So, after that, Yanli and Xichen’s relationship becomes a lot more physically affectionate--they hug when they see each other, they kiss each other on the cheek, Yanli and JGY both snuggle up to his sides when they sit alone on the pavilion with the curtains drawn. The both of them have talked separately with JGY about whether this is okay, whether they’re overstepping any boundaries, and his response was basically an incredulous, ‘Are you joking? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.’ And so the 3 of them spend more and more time together, and maybe there’s a night where they’re all in Xichen’s guest room at Lotus Pier, maybe having a few drinks, and they get onto the subject of how good of a kisser their A-Yao is and he protests saying that they’re biased because they haven’t kissed anyone else, so how could they know. And Xichen flushes and grins, “Aren’t you sly?” and JGY blinks innocently and says, “I don’t know what on earth you could mean 😇!” and Yanli is biting back a laugh and also a little pink but tilts her chin up invitingly and they do kiss and it’s lovely and JGY realizes exactly how much he enjoys that. And from then on, the Xichen’s guest room is more of a formality/decoy than anything else and their suite just so happens to get updated with a bigger bed because, y’know, reasons.

✨Vibes✨:

-WangXian matchmaking happens in earnest when YanXiYao first start their arrangement because now JGY has a concrete reason to find more excuses for more frequent visits from the Twin Jades

-Something about the 2 of them together makes it so that JGY can break down more easily--when it’s just Yanli, he still feels very protective and it’s hard to show his anger. When it’s just Xichen, he doesn’t want to cause him pain, and it’s hard to show when he’s hurting and despairing. When the three are together he is able to let them hold him more easily instead of withdrawing and isolating himself, and it frustrates him, but is also very good for him.

-Xichen and Yanli have a very intense and deep affection for each other that rides the fuzzy line of romantic and alterous; they enjoy cuddling, kissing, they definitely aren’t averse to having sex with each other but it usually happens when JGY is involved in some way, whether everyone participates or it’s a voyeuristic situation in whatever capacity (though this may be impacted by the fact that he doesn’t live with them and most days, Yanli is pleasantly lukewarm about sexual activity in general, so who’s to say it wouldn’t happen naturally, in time?)

-Xichen and Yanli have a relationship that has grown beyond just what they have with JGY and have a wonderful time talking together, giving each other gifts, and exchanging letters. There is a shared exasperation for JGY’s treatment of his health and often look to each other as back up (JGY is annoyed. They simply smile.) They don’t feel the need to really categorize their relationship besides the fact that they love each other, consider the other their best friend, are deeply fond of one another, and plan to all stay as they are for the rest of their lives. (Maybe, eventually, this will lead to a secret marriage ceremony, just for the 3 of them).

-It was after the inn/fever incident that she insisted Xichen call her A-Li

-All 3 have a devious streak and it makes for some very sweet 2 ganging up on 1 and showering them with kisses and affection.

-JGY and Yanli write him joint letters as well as individual ones of their own

-JGY and Yanli view Xichen as an equal status, commuter sort of parent and ask for his opinions and advice on parenting things. Xichen loves the kids like his own and gets to essentially have a kid without the complicated feelings of them being his heir and going through the Lan’s strict practices and corporal punishment. He takes them at Cloud Recesses for a few weeks every year.

-Each of the men have their own guilt attacks, now and again, Xichen about his involvement being selfish (Heirs! Propriety! His uncle!) and JGY over wanting too much (Infidelity! Reputation! A-Li!), and Yanli--who has done enough soul searching and has very comfortably decided that, no, she is quite fine being happy--calmly sits them down, gives them tea, kisses their foreheads, and makes them hold hands with her as they watch their kids play.

#yanxiyao #peony to lotus #my stuff #ahhh this was a nice little exploration 😊#surprisingly there isn't a ton of angst #I'm sure I could make some but this is just generally fluffy and nice!#ask #ask spam #Anonymous

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blog4snape · 4 years

Text

Boggey (1)

Pairing: Student! Severus Snape x F! Professor! Reader

Word Count: ~2.5K

Genre: Hurt/Comfort (no filth here)

Summary: Hogwarts student Snape (18) finds a boggart in the divination classroom one night and has a mental breakdown, divination professor (22) comforts him.

Warnings: character having a mental breakdown, sev being a qt, and fluff

Rating: Citrus (no filth here, this is a platonic fic)

Date written: 8/20/2020

~~~~~~

February 1978

“Thank you for volunteering to do this, Severus.” You grinned at your student, the two of you sitting at a table in the center of the room.

He quirked a corner of his lip and gave a quick nod.

“Normally I give these tasks to students in detention,” You sighed as you polished another shell, “But lately there just haven’t been any students misbehaving badly enough to warrant a detention, and I can’t postpone this lesson any longer.”

He nodded silently and set down the smooth shell he was working on, grabbing a rough one from the crate.

“I shouldn’t complain that my students haven’t been misbehaving, normally I dislike giving someone a reward for someone else’s punishment, but so be it-” You poured more polish into the cloth and continued the menial task of polishing turtle shells. ‘If only someone invented a spell to do this.’ You thought to yourself, scoffing at your reddened fingertips. “-Oh! Sorry I’m rambling-”

“It’s okay.” He answered quickly as he glanced with a quirk of his brow, as if he was offended you’d even apologize.

“Thank you again. You can forget about the essay due on Monday. Don’t tell anyone else.” You winked at him. “Twenty points to Slytherin.”

He raised his chin and gave you a conspiratory smirk, “Thank you, Professor.”

You chuckled, “Not a problem, Severus.”

The two of you working diligently through the first crate of bones and shells helped speed along the process; however, it was getting rather late, the candles surrounding you were steadily shrinking and the room was growing comfortably dim.

“Let’s take a break.” You stood up and stretched out your back. “The second box is in that corner, could you bring it to the table? It shouldn’t be as heavy as the first. I’m going to go make some tea. Your choice today.” You spoke as you shuffled off, opposite the direction of the box.

“Green.” He announced, cracking each knuckle individually as he stood up to grab the box.

You riffled through the cabinets and put the green tea canister on the make-shift counter. “Could you open it and see if it’s the right one, love?” You asked him. He hummed in response. You heard him shuffling through crates and boxes in the far corner.

It happened nearly all at once. The whistle of the kettle set it off, and then soon after was the most gut-wrenching growl you could ever hear. It wasn’t the growl of an ordinary stray mutt that found itself on the grounds. Right after, you heard Severus scream bloody murder.

You whipped your head around and saw a werewolf standing outside of the crate and Severus frozen in place. You rushed to him, bounding across the array of turtle shells and animal bones on the wooden floor. As soon as you pointed your wand to fight the werewolf, it took on an all-too-familiar form that made all of the blood in your body, just on fire a moment ago, turn cold as ice. Quickly putting two and two together you vanished the boggart, shouting “Riddikulus!” at the top of your lungs. It turned into an innocent stuffed animal, before vanishing altogether.

You finally let out a breath and closed your eyes. For a moment, everything was silent. You turned around to see Severus behind you. You closed your mouth as soon as you saw the tears streaming down his face. You reached out to touch his shoulder.

“Sev-” You started, only to be cut off by a strangled sob as he grappled onto your shawl as if his life depended on it, collapsing onto the floor in a heap of robes. You followed shortly thereafter, kneeling and holding him.

“Severus, what’s wrong?” You asked softly, as you stroked his hair. He responded only in louder sobs as the tears soaked through your robes. ‘That was the wrong approach,’ You chided yourself in your head. You breathed in slowly and tried again, “Shhh, it’s alright. It’s gone now. You’ll never see it again.” You whispered into his hair, rubbing his back.

He was hiccuping and struggling for air, but made no move to let go and try to breath in. You grabbed his shoulders firmly and pushed him away slightly, so you could look at him.

“Hey, hey- look at me-” You repeated softly until he stared at you. “Thank you, lovely. Follow my breathing.” You put a hand on his chest and one between his shoulder blades, and sat up on your knees, straightening your back self-consciously. You took a long, slow breath through your nose and waited for him to do the same. You held it for a moment, before exhaling through your mouth slowly. He did the same. “Excellent job, just like that. Breath with me.” You praised him. He gave a desperate nod, and you two continued the same breathing pattern before he finally managed to calm himself down. You smiled at him and stroked his cheek briefly before pulling him into a much less desperate hug this time.

“You’re alright, you’re alright.” You cooed into his shoulder. “You did such a great job.” You praised, rubbing his shoulder blades.

His tears returned, but this time without the hungry gulps of air. His hair tickled your nose and he held onto you tighter.

Focusing on his now quiet breaths, you almost forgot about the kettle until you heard it bubble and boil over. You fought your natural urge to run over and take it off of the heat, as you didn’t want to startle Severus anymore than he already had been. You figured he was more important than some boiled water, right now. His grip on you loosened and he started furiously rubbing at his red eyes with the sleeve of his robes. You gently took his hands and shook your head. You summoned a handkerchief from your robes and handed it to him. He nodded his thanks, with a loud sniffle accompanied. Smiling in response, you gave his hair a quick stroke before standing from the floor and walking over to the mess of boiling water continuing to spit out of the kettle.

With a quick flick of your wand, it was cleared up and the green tea was in the preferred cups. Last week you had seen a teacup in Diagon Alley that made you think of Severus, and since he often joined you after classes, you figured he should have a teacup that reminds him he is always welcome. The teacup was black, with several white roses and green snakes curling around the mug like vapor curls out of the steaming drink. Every day since then, you’ve served him tea in that cup, on a matching saucer. Turning around, you saw him sitting at the table again. Handing him his cup, full of the tea he chose, he gave a little smile and he thanked you quietly.

He was shivering, even the hot tea did not help sate it. You took off your shawl and wrapped it around his shoulders. He curled into it immediately and covered it around himself like saran wrap. The two of you sat in silence, sipping tea.

“Let’s stop for tonight.” You said, as your tea was finished. You looked at the clock. “Oh, Severus, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to keep you after curfew.”

Severus looked at the clock, also a bit surprised. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again.

“Here, I’ll walk you back in case Filch finds you.” You announced, standing up and putting the porcelain cups away.

You turned around and expected Severus to follow you, only to see that he wasn’t. He was sitting at the table, covered in your shawl, hunched over, and trembling still. He was staring at you, brows knit. You walked back to the table. “Severus? What’s the matter?”

He shook his head softly. You focused on the strands of his hair peeking out of the shawl. “I-” He started, before closing his mouth. He looked down at his lap, biting his lips, and continuing to shake his head. The strands of hair caught outside of the shawl waved around with his head. “No.” He stated, plainly.

“No… to what?” You tilted your head.

“I can’t go to my dorm… I can’t-” He bit his lip so hard it turned white. He got smaller, his shoulders rounded and he hid in the shawl. “I don’t-” He released his lip, the white faded quickly and turned into a deep sanguine.

You kneeled before him, and held out of your hand. He tentatively released his grip on the shawl and gave you one of his hands. You took it in both of yours, rubbing his bruised and scarred knuckles with your thumbs. You sighed softly, “You don’t want to go back to your dorm?”

He shook his head.

“Would you be against sleeping in my office?”

He shook his head and let out a quiet ‘please.’

“Alright.” You gave a quick nod and patted his hand, releasing it. You stood up, and gave him your arm to stand. He quickly took it, but let it go as soon as he found balance and stood up.

After a relatively quiet walk to your office, you opened the door to the scent of the day: pumpkin spice, cinnamon, and nutmeg. You held open the door for Snape. The candles lit up every corner and inch of the room as the both of you waltzed in and incense started to burn. The pit of pillows, blankets and cushions to the side of your office had to be the coziest spot in the entire castle, and it’s a little embarrassing to admit how many times you collapsed on the floor there instead of making it to your actual bed in your chambers. You closed the door with a bit too much force, startling Severus and the odds and ends - not all related to divination - that decorate your shelf, as both of the aforementioned victims jumped and shook slightly. Severus whipped around to face you, with wide eyes that resembled a doe.

“Oh, sorry darling, I didn’t mean to slam the door.” You apologized, scolding yourself in your head. He released a breath and nodded in reassurance, rolling his shoulders back.

You went around the room and picked up some extra quilts that were sprawled on the butterscotch-colored desk chair and the mulberry-colored couch behind it.

He had taken off his robe and folded it in his hands, but kept your shawl on.

“Here love, you can sleep in the pit. It’s more comfortable than that old couch anyways.” You took his robes from him and placed them on a seldom-bare spot on your cluttered desk. He was still in his school uniform and shoes.

“Do you want to get some night clothes from your dorm? I can walk with you there.”

He shook his head.

“Alright, whatever you prefer. I just want you to feel comfortable.”

He nodded his thanks and toed off his shoes before climbing into the pit, cocooning himself in your shawl amongst all of the other quilts, covers, pillows, and soft things.

You waved your wand and started a fire in the hearth. You left for a moment and set a cup of tea and a glass of water down near the pit. Extinguishing the other candles around the room, you kneeled next to his head, barely poking out of the many blankets and stroked his hair for a moment. He wordlessly leaned into your touch.

“I’ll come back to wake you in the morning before breakfast. Need anything before I go?” You spoke softly. His head shot up out of the covers, pillows and cushions falling around him like if he emerged out of a pool of water.

“Don’t go!” He latched onto your arm with strength rivaling a serpent’s maw.

“You don’t want to be alone tonight?” You asked.

He shook his head, cheeks flushed red. Your cheeks matched his. He relinquished his hold. A million thoughts ran a million miles per hour through your head. You desperately wanted to say ‘no this is too inappropriate-’ but you found yourself saying the word, “okay” before your mind even registered what was happening.

You took a blanket from the pit and a pillow that had been kicked to the side and as you went to stand up and move to the couch, Severus saw where you were headed and moved with the speed of a striking viper and grabbed your ankle as you walked away. You let out a quick shriek and lost your balance for just a moment, before looking down and seeing Severus staring up at you with those dark, frantic doe eyes again.

“What’s the matter, lovely?” You questioned, clutching at your racing heartbeat under your chest.

He licked his lips and blinked a few times. “Please,” His voice was so quiet, you could hardly hear it over the crackling from the fire. His eyes glittered before drowning in tears. “Hold me,” The tears ran down his face and he held your ankle even tighter. “Like how you,” He sniffled, “did in the classroom.”

You sighed. “Alright, darling.” Your brain screamed at you for being an idiot.

He finally let go of your ankle and held up the blankets for you to crawl in. You murmured a quick spell to lock the door, and then kicked off your boots and crawled into the cocoon, facing Severus. He immediately got closer and tucked his nose into your collarbone. He didn’t grab you, but he was still gripping the shawl that smelled strongly of you and wrapped around him snugly. You put an arm underneath him and held him closely, and he sighed in relief. You stroked his cheekbone, wiping his tears with your thumb.

After his tears stopped falling, you focused on the crackling of the fire and moved to run your fingers through his hair instead. His hair was full of knots so you resorted to just scratching his scalp lightly instead. He sighed again, pushing his face as close as possible to your neck.

“Thank you,” He breathed lightly, smiling softly against your neck.

“Of course, darling,” You murmured, sleepily. You stared at how the orange glow of the fire formed a halo around Severus’s black hair and felt him smile and breathe out softly against your skin. “Get some rest, lovely. I’ll be right here.” Without any second thought, you pressed a soft kiss to Severus’s forehead and fell asleep to the feeling of a giggle vibrating across on your neck and the sound of the fire crackling in front of you.

~~~

A/N: This one shot is a part of a greater story with a masterlist that I’ll post later

Read Part 2 Here!

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obeysme · 4 years

Text

— the lord of masks.

this satan meta ended up being 2k words long, and i didn’t want to just stare at it in my drafts, so here it is! this is just me trying to gain a better understanding of satan and somewhat flesh him out in my mind.

i tried to give this some order by discussing scenes as they occur in the main story, with one brief interruption by a devilgram story. then it devolves into pure speculation and rambling. it’s all pretty much stream of consciousness, so apologies in advance for the confusion you’re sure to have if you read on sjfhkfj

the first time we meet satan, lucifer ignores him and introduces asmodeus first. satan’s first appearance is to complain about this fact, which lucifer doesn’t take seriously. this back-and-forth that continues briefly is our first hint to the friction between satan and lucifer.

note how lucifer goes on to describe satan to mc:

lucifer says that the title “avatar of wrath” sums satan up entirely. “looks can be deceiving,” he warns mc. “it is all an act.” satan seems to take offense to that, sniping back that lucifer likes badmouthing his siblings since he himself is the avatar of pride.

in the beginning, satan comes off as the more normal of his siblings. he’s polite, composed, and flashes smiles often. you may not pay much attention to him at first, since mc is swept up into mammon and levi’s squabble the moment they step into the house of lamentation.

the game builds up to satan’s pact and the “reveal” of his true nature. levi is obsessed with the tale of the seven lords, a famous book series that’s been adapted into theatrical shows, an animated series, and several films. it becomes obvious as he infodumps about the series that the seven lords are meant to represent the seven demon brothers.

here’s how levi describes the lord of masks, who serves as satan’s mirror:

clearly, satan is not all that he seems. the use of “masks” and “masquerades” hearkens back to what lucifer said about looks being deceiving, and that satan’s smiles and easy demeanor are merely an act. though we’re told this, mc doesn’t see this for themself until much later.

to set up the scene, satan overhears a conversation between lucifer and diavolo. lucifer admits to diavolo that he doesn’t like the fact that mc has just appeared in the devildom and already formed pacts with four of his siblings. the next morning, satan cheerily informs mc that he’s willing to form a pact with them; he’s up front about the fact that he’s only doing it to make life more difficult for lucifer.

lucifer overhears this, and the two of them get into a verbal fight. now, there are a few things that interest me about their fight, but the most notable are the others’ reactions:

while lucifer reprimands satan and satan points out how perturbed he is by mc forming pacts with the brothers, asmodeus and leviathan are entertained, while beelzebub isn’t paying attention to it at all. mammon is the only one who seems uncomfortable. none of them interfere, choosing to spectate instead. it becomes clear that satan and lucifer fighting is nothing new, and that most of the brothers are delighted to watch them.

the verbal fight culminates in lucifer telling satan to leave the house of lamentation. satan isn’t daunted at all by this, and even comments that it’s the first order lucifer’s given that he doesn’t mind. essentially, lucifer is satan kicking out and satan is all for it.

so how do the others respond to this?

only mammon steps in and tries to deescalate the situation (bless his heart), which doesn’t work. meanwhile asmodeus is disappointed the fight didn’t turn physical, and leviathan and beelzebub have no reactions.

i feel like we can chalk this up to their demonic nature. the brothers fight among one another often, verbally and physically. they do care about one another, but that care is warped by the fact they are demons. their love for each other manifests in other ways, which is a meta for another time lmao.

also note how satan leaves calmly enough...until lucifer calls him “ungrateful.” his next dialogue is punctuated with exclamation marks and bolded words. he’s angry at the insinuation that he owes lucifer any sort of gratitude. but i feel there’s more to the anger he feels about lucifer’s “ungrateful” comment. more on that later.

to go back to the brothers’ reactions, satan even comments on it when mc visits him in his room while he’s packing:

i could very well be reading into this, but satan sounds almost bitter here. your guess is good as mine, but i attribute it to the brothers being flippant about satan’s emotions. he’s incensed by lucifer and his insinuation that satan should be indebted to him, so much so that he’s seriously planning to leave, but none of the brothers have come after him (save for mammon, and even he gave in after lucifer ordered him to).

it’s less to do with him thinking that they don’t care about him, and more that they’re dismissing his emotions. they’re making light of something that brings him a great deal of stress and indignation. his fights with lucifer are a spectacle to them, when they’re more than the squabbles the other brothers have with one another—satan’s hatred of lucifer is born out of his deepest insecurities.

interestingly, it’s the brothers who inform mc of this. we’re finally given the backstory on satan; so far, we only know that he wasn’t originally an angel like the others were. here’s what they tell us about satan’s birth and what happened after:

satan has always been a demon, unlike his other brothers. he’s the literal manifestation of lucifer’s wrath upon losing the great celestial war to his father, god, and becoming a demon. his powers come from him as well.

overtime, the brothers taught satan how to be more than just an emotion. though beelzebub is vague about what that means, i picture a “young” satan who was easily angered, which probably resulted in a lot of property damage, among other things. it was only through the help of his brothers that satan was introduced to other emotions and concepts. of course, the anger is always there—he’s the avatar of wrath for a reason.

at one point or another, though, satan grew upset by his circumstances. he’s come a long way from just being wrath, but he still doesn’t feel like a full-fledged person. this is explored somewhat in satan’s devilgram story “be you.” in it, the conversation among the brothers turn to their favourite genre of film, as well as their biggest fear; when pressed by the others to answer, satan is downtrodden by the fact that he can’t think of anything.

he goes so far as to lament the fact that he doesn’t have much of a personality:

the devilgram story ends with lucifer asking satan about a time where he got mad, of which he had several. the tone of the story is fairly lighthearted, and satan’s somber mood is fixed by the end of it. but the problem isn’t really addressed, in my opinion.

satan is comparing himself to his brothers, realizing that his personality isn’t as unique or varied as theirs. by bringing up satan’s anger, lucifer’s inadvertently saying that satan’s personality is defined by the emotion that came from lucifer. i’ll also add that in this devilgram story, there’s no noticeable tension between the two of them. which leads me to believe that it’s set before satan began to hate lucifer.

this means that satan’s insecurities surrounding his personhood, or possible lack thereof, must have come to a boiling point. having uncontrollable anger as a personality trait wasn’t enough for him, especially because he gets that from lucifer.

all that said, there’s a real missed opportunity by the writers here. it’s not just an apparent lack of personality that separates satan from his brothers; there’s also the fact that he was never an angel. he doesn’t have firsthand knowledge of their time as angels; what they were like, how they got along. not to mention he never knew lilith, whose death irrevocably changed the six of them.

does satan feel alienated when the brothers reminisce about their past? how does he feel about lilith and the impact she left? have any of them even discussed her properly with him? while “growing up” and learning from the brothers, did he ever wonder if he was a replacement for her, the youngest? the writers could’ve explored whether satan ever struggled to find his place with the brothers, and if he still does. then again, given how the game’s designed, there likely wouldn’t have been enough time for all this development.

let’s return to the scene where mc learns about satan’s backstory. here’s what the brothers believe is the reason behind satan’s hatred for lucifer:

as leviathan said earlier, the brothers raised satan together, with lucifer having the most influence on him. that’s only natural, seeing as he is born from him. but eventually, as satan matured, the knowledge that he was born from lucifer began to chafe.

i’d love to know more about this point in time, how satan broke away from lucifer and became more independent through cultivating his own personality. was there a specific event that resulted in satan pulling away from lucifer? how did lucifer and the others take it? unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like we’re given much information about it, but there is one bit of dialogue that sheds a bit of light on the situation.

when satan’s packing to leave, he goes on a short tangent about the books in his room. you’ve seen the background art of his room, so you know it’s overcrowded with bookcases that are crammed with books of all kinds. as he considers which ones to take with him, he says this:

to me, this is extremely telling about satan’s backstory and mindset.

we don’t know much about the devildom, unfortunately, so we have no idea how common it is for someone like satan to exist. are there more demons born from another’s intense emotions? how are they viewed and treated? not that well, if what satan says above is anything to go by.

“no matter who you are, no matter the circumstances of your birth, if you’re smart enough, then people can’t dismiss you.” there’s no doubt in my mind that people’s perceptions of satan were coloured by the fact that he was born from lucifer’s wrath. he must’ve been seen as an extension of him, nothing more. it likely didn’t help that he was especially influenced by lucifer during his transformative years, as beelzebub tells mc.

asmodeus refers to lucifer as a father figure, and ultimately, that is what he is to satan. although satan clung to lucifer when he was younger and still developing, he pushes him away once he decides to become more independent. much like how teenagers are purported to have a rebellious phase, during which they go against their parents’ wishes in an attempt to form their own opinions. satan doesn’t want to be seen as an extension of lucifer anymore; he wants to be respected and seen as his own person.

instead of relying on his brothers like he’s always done, satan turns to books instead. they contain countless information; information that isn’t coloured by the biases that his brothers have. up until this point, satan learned solely from his brothers and absorbed what they told him. now he has the chance to seek knowledge outside of them, all on his own. i picture him just locking himself in his room for hours, even days, on end, several books spread around him as he reads human philosophers attempt to answer what it means to be an individual; such a topic would’ve been of great importance to satan.

somewhere around this time, satan rejects lucifer. i imagine that means rejecting his teachings, everything that he’s gleaned from him, too. he hates the fact that lucifer brought him into existence, because not only does satan feel like an extension of him, but he feels indebted to him. so satan tries to be different from lucifer by pursuing knowledge from books. he absorbs as much from them as he can. lucifer used to be among the most powerful angels, now he’s among the most powerful demons. so satan makes books, and the vast knowledge they possess, into a power of his very own.

i think this is likely when satan constructed his persona of a calm, controlled demon. he wanted to be more than just lucifer’s wrath, which meant putting a leash on his uncontrollable anger and branching out, seeing what he can be without that one emotion guiding his actions. by doing so, though, he’s just going from one extreme to another. he’s hoping that by ignoring the anger that simmers under his skin, just beneath the surface, he’ll be free of lucifer’s “influence.”

but satan is still the avatar of wrath. everyone knows it, and so does he. no matter how great of a mask he wears, there’s no hiding that fact.

conclusion

the writers set up an interesting arc for satan. it features not just an external issue—the friction between satan and lucifer—but an internal one: satan’s attempt to define himself by something other than his wrath, which he feels is an extension of lucifer. unfortunately, neither of these issues go anywhere. they’re never properly addressed and resolved.

in the main story, satan stops antagonizing lucifer after he “saves” him from cerberus in leviathan’s game. this ignores the fact that satan still feels like he’s not a person in his own right, even after all the reflection and self-work he’s done. he’s still beholden to lucifer for his existence, which lucifer exacerbates by attempting to control satan and ordering him around.

while lucifer giving up a measure of control by asking satan to give the speech to the student body in his stead is a step in the right direction, i don’t think that gesture should be enough for them to get along again. not fully. ultimately, there’s a lot of miscommunication between satan and lucifer, which is a thread in lucifer’s arc. he’s not forthcoming and refuses to be vulnerable, his need for control resulting in him alienating his brothers. likewise, the brothers only see lucifer as the eldest brother, untouchable and unfeeling. there needed to be a proper catalyst to satan and lucifer repairing their relationship—such as the situation with belphegor.

another way the writers simplify satan’s arc is by completely disregarding his struggle with his wrath. they set him up to be “the lord of masks,” a demon who’s hiding his true, monstrous nature in an attempt to pretend it doesn’t exist. but after his relationship with lucifer is “fixed,” this internal struggle just...goes away.

worse, satan says this to mc:

rather than have satan grow by acknowledging that his rage is an inextricable part of him, seeing as he’s the avatar of wrath, the writers go for this route. satan’s internal issue is resolved by him falling in love with mc. yet despite giving us this answer, satan’s “outer” personality—which was heavily suggested to be a mask he wears—remains. it can be argued that satan doesn’t change at all, even after his arc is concluded.

this is disappointing, because satan’s arc grapples with issues that a lot of us deal with ourselves. it’s also more development than the other brothers are afforded. instead of his arc receiving a proper resolution, resulting in earned character growth, it’s left unfinished. ironically, satan becomes as one-dimensional as he fears he is.

#do i want to put this in the main tags?#....nah jskfjfkf #m writes meta

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devotedwaywardangel1 · 4 years

Text

BBC Merlin Preferences: How You Met

Merlin - You met Merlin early on in your stay in Camelot, you were King Arthur’s new adviser taking the place of your ageing father, so you’ve seen Merlin around. By some random twist of fate run into each other, knocking you both over. He kept stuttering out apologies, you laughed and helped him up. You had to admit that you found him attractive and have witnessed his kindness second hand. But actually looking at him your heart fluttered in your chest. “Hi, I’m Merlin.” He smiled and held his hand out. You took it. “I’m (Y/n), nice to meet you.” He smiled. “I would love to stop and chat, his royal prattishness needs me.” He rushed off and you laughed. “See you around Merlin.”

Arthur - You had been looking the King after Morgana betrayed Camelot, after being a senior servant of the royal household despite being younger than the crown prince himself. You were a good servant done what was needed and left without a word, but looking after Uther in this state meant you saw Arthur a lot more than usually. So it was only a matter of time until you and Arthur actually met. He stopped you down the hallway after you left to go home that night. “Hey!” You stopped letting him catch up to you nodding your head. “Sire.” He smiled down at you causing you to blush. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of my father.” You smiled. “It’s my duty to look after him.” Arthur started to get flustered then regained his composure. “Please allow me to escort you home.” You didn’t decline.

Gwen - You were foraging in the forest when you heard a scream so naturally you dropped everything and ran towards the sound and unsheathed your xiphos upon seeing a woman surrounded by bandits. “Back off.” You yelled, grabbed the bandits attention and leaped into a fight thankfully it wasn’t a large group so dispatching them wasn’t too hard. After all of them are gone you help her up. “Are you okay, miss?” You ask to check her over. “I’m okay but your arm!” She gasped seeing a cut across your arm that you had failed to notice. Grabbing your hand dragging you to Camelot, once she noticed that she still had your hand she pulled away stuttering. You smiled and continued to follow her.

Morgana - You were the youngest of your noble household and was desperate to become a knight of Camelot but Uther wouldn’t allow this seeing as you were a woman. Unfortunately for him you were cunning and stubborn and eventually proved yourself but not enough to be a knight, instead he made you Lady Morgana’s protector. Sometimes compromises had to be made, you thought bitterly. Until Morgana entered the room and you were speechless. “Let’s go Lady (Y/n).” You nodded and followed speechless.

Lancelot - You were an orphan and had been wandering around the woods alone for two years and had become good at hunting and hiding. So when a boy about your age was running away from shouting heading in your direction. Thinking quickly you grab his arm and run to a small crevice for the pair of you to hide. After the men ran past not noticing you he thanked you by sharing half of the bread he had stolen. “I’m (Y/n).” “Lancelot.” You smile taking another bite of bread. “Do you think we could stick together, for um survival I’m new to this you see and…” You cut off his ramblings. “Good idea.”

Leon - You had found Leon in the forest mortally injured and teleported him to your druid camp where he drank from the cup of life, bringing him back from the brink of death. After he gained consciousness your camp left but you insisted to at least get him close to the citadel, as close as a druid would dare. “Can you make it from here?” You ask, he was quiet the whole journey and you could see the castle so it was time to part. “Yes, thank you.” He nodded, still not moving. “Are you sure sir.” You look up at him with concern in your eyes. “It’s just that my people have killed so many of your kind and yet you still help people like me.” You shrugged. “One can’t dwell on the past, new times are coming, times where we can all live in harmony… now go to your people they’ll need you.” You teleported away leaving a stunned Leon.

Gwaine - It started in your tavern when you noticed a roguish man come in and take a seat near the back and one of your waitress asked what he would like and came back to you asked for a tankard of mead of which you poured out for the man. An hour went by before trouble started one man decided it would be a good idea to slap one of the waitress’ ass. She turned around to slap him but he caught her hand, which made both you and the mystery man leap into action. Luckily the man was too drunk to fight back as it took both of you to kick him out of the tavern and you went to comfort your friend and let her stay in a spare room for the night. You turned round to thank the man. “The name’s Gwaine, princess.” “I ain’t no princess, rouge.” He grinned. “Of course not, princess.” You smirked. “How long are you here for?” “Until I’m chased off.” “How’d you like a job in the meantime?”

Freya - You were being chased by Camelot’s nights after transforming into your wolf form on a full moon. The sound of hoofbeats were getting louder and louder as you were tiring and then an arrow embedded itself in your back but you kept running, another and another hit you. It took eleven arrows to bring you down, as you collapsed and a man came over he looked you in the eye full of guilt and remorse and all went dark. You wake up and all is light, you get up and nothing hurts anymore. “Oh shit I’m dead.” You whisper. “It appears so my friend.” You look down at your hands in wonder. “Who are you?” She smiled softly. “I’m the Lady of the Lake but you call me Freya.”

Elyan - You were looking around the outer parts of town for a blacksmith willing to fix your armour and it was getting increasingly frustrating as many refused service. Being the only commoner knight in your kingdom had some downsides. It was the last shop in the lower town and you hoped that who ever owned the shop would be willing to fix your armour. “Excuse me.” There was a crash and you kicked the door open and unsheathed your sword, scanning for danger. “Sorry, I tripped.” A man mumbled embarrassed. “No worries.” You help him up. “Uhh what can I help you with?” He brushed himself off. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to fix my armour.” “Of course.” You stumble taken aback “what really… thanks!” “I’m Elyan.” “(Y/n) Knight of Nemeth.”

Percival - To be honest walking through the forest wasn’t the best idea on your part, so when a couple of bandits surrounded you, you only blamed your own stupidity. Mentally preparing for the blow, but it never came, instead a thud sound after the bandit fell to the floor yelling in pain. You saw a man in chainmail sporting a knight of Camelot cape quickly dispatching the other bandit. He turned around to look at you. “Are you okay?” You look up at him a little fluster, taking a few moments to find your words. “Yes, thank you.” You nodded and looked down at the ground missing his small smile. “Would you like me to escort you home?” Tilting his head trying to catch your gaze. “I would like that very much Sir…” “Percival.” “(Y/n).”

Mithian - You first came across Lady Mithian, in the dining hall of the castle, she appears to be concerned,becoming lost within her own thoughts. You therefore approach her and ask her why she is concerned, trying to comfort her. She tells you that she is concerned about taking on the royale requirements of becoming the queen, a queen in which she does not what to be. Hearing this you decide to grab Mithian by the hand and take her out to see the world. A world where she has no title to her name. She screams with excitement and feels free to be herself when she's around you. After exiting the dining hall you come across some guards on patrol, you decide to hide behind some statues in the hallway trying not to get caught by the guards, as soon as they have left you both emerge from your hiding place, and run to the nearest exit hoping not to get caught.

Mordred - It started when you were abandoned at a druid camp by your parents after you made fire come out of your bare hands. The druids gladly accepted you and Iseldir saw your talent and made you his apprentice, it wasn’t until you settled in that you were introduced to the other children in the camp. They were nice enough but you felt bombarded by the attention, so when it didn’t seem rude to leave you did, opting to sit by a stream. “You like the water too?” A voice came from behind. You whip your head to see a darked haired boy approach you. “Yeah it's unpredictable but calming is nice.” You admit. “I’m Mordred, by the way.” “(Y/n).” He sits next to you and you both just watch the water together.

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marielle-heller · 5 years

Text

I’ve been talking with Julie (@marsvronica) about Tim Murphy a lot and I just feel like I need to share our headcanons so here we go, some random ideas:

so I think that most people agree that adult Tim is a paleontologist--and I want to add professor, Dr. Tim Murphy, which is very sexy--and he is extremely passionate about it. despite his experiences in the park he hasn’t been deterred from loving dinosaurs, though he does much prefer them from afar (in both physical distance and time), as nature intended them. he loves this piece of the past, but all of his dealings with it tell him that it should be left in the past

because of this, he is absolutely opposed to the idea of Jurassic World. from the moment he first hears that they want to try again, he is just incredibly angry, like there is no way this is going to be a good thing. and Julie decided that because of this he actually ends up storming into Simon Masrani’s office (who initially anticipates that the arrival of John Hammond’s grandson will be a good thing) and just chews him the hell out, though Masrani won’t budge

Tim also finds out in this meeting that it was apparently his grandfather’s dying wish to make the park work and that just adds to his anger. pal is pissed

so speaking of, Tim is typically rather calm, but when he is angry, he will go the fuck off. he just flies into a rage, comprised mostly of yelling, but combining some over-gesticulating and stomping (even once knocking things off a desk), and it’s kind of incredible just the way he lays into people for being so IDIOTIC. he doesn’t swear much normally, but many a bad word is used

so also since he’s not in the films he may not know, but if he ever finds out that that bitch was trying to sell dinosaurs for soldiers and for entertainment? oh my god the rant would be legendary. like viral on youtube worthy. he would just fucking go at it, yelling until his voice is hoarse and he’s seeing red and he has to sit down and someone has to get him a glass of water, because oh my god when will we fucking learn that man cannot, and should not, try to control dinosaurs? like how many times?

Tim is tired

anyway, Tim is actually pretty surprised when Jurassic World opens and things go well. he even manages to relax after it’s been a few weeks and it seems like no one’s died. but he keeps pretty close tabs on the place, and being Hammond’s grandson gets him good intel--even if he and Masrani are not on speaking terms anymore--so the second he finds out they’re trying to engineer scarier dinosaurs, he just knows things are going to end badly

in fact, he tries to get another meeting, and manages one with park operations manager, Claire Dearing. despite trying to be as calm as he possibly can while freaking out, he is not able to convince her it is a terrible idea

so yes he sees the park’s collapse coming a mile away, and no, no one will listen to him, and yes he is so tired

when the park is evacuated and the dinosaurs are left to populate the island without human interference, he feels like it’s absolutely the best case scenario. even when it turns out they’re going to be taken out by the volcano, he is staunchly against interference (not that anyone will listen to him). yes, he loves the dinosaurs (especially the herbivores who technically have done no wrong) but they were never meant to be alive and all they’ve ever caused is chaos and this is literally a solution to that problem but no one sees that

also, at the end of that whole debacle with the dinosaurs now just roaming free in America?? and some of them are the violent kind??? oh my god the boy is pissed. like he did not survive the park just for this bs. he literally refuses to die in a dinosaur attack 30 years later because someone couldn’t get it through their thick skull after the first time that this was a bad idea

getting into some slightly more relaxed ideas:

I do feel like he’s generally a calm dude. but an enduring quality from his youth is that he is incredibly talkative, and has a great tendency to cling to people whose work he admires, or that he’s just met but sound super fascinating. he’s just very lively and passionate and loves to talk to people! it does still scare some people away at first, but it’s endearing enough that he tends to grow on people

Julie- as passionate as he is about his own work, he's also definitely the kind of guy who encourages other people to talk about stuff they’re passionate about (ooh especially his students and they love him for it), which comes from the fact that he kinda knows what it feels like to not bring up interests when you know people will just give you grief for it. so he’s always trying to bring out the passion in others and it just really makes him the kindest guy

like he’ll go to a friend’s party and he’ll meet some new people and he’ll be trying to get them to tell him all about what they care most about in the world and it’s just so cute

this especially applies if he meets a child. he will listen to them talk for ages, and will tell them that they can absolutely achieve their dreams and they just have to commit to whatever they care about and it will happen

this makes him incredible with kids, and especially I can see him being the world’s most amazing uncle when Lex has children. like those babies are getting the most affection and love and encouragement, they are gonna grow up to rule the world

(also, he’s really good at playing with the kids and like, just getting down on their level and joining them with the toys and it’s just iconic)

so Julie added that Tim is partly this way because he remembers being the kid obsessed with dinosaurs that everybody got tired of hearing from, or else that they only wanted to know about what he went through on the island, so now he's like "just tell me whatever you want to talk about, whatever you care about, I wanna hear all about it"

and to go off of that, people would totally hound him about the island and I feel like he’d just get so annoyed. cause like, the first few times, especially relaying it to people he knows, fine. maybe a bit taxing, emotionally, but it’s still not worn-out in his mind, and this is his family, and his closest friends, so it’s whatever. but when it’s always the first question a new person asks, he gets so tired he just does not want to discuss it

also, sometimes people don’t know who he is but they ask about the scars on his palms or his eyebrow (I can’t imagine it ever healed back to normal, or that the hair came back, so he’s just got a cool scar in lieu of the majority of it and it makes him look kinda badass even though he’s really just a soft nerd) and unless he really likes the person, he tends to come up with a ridiculous excuse to throw them off because it’s so much easier than opening up the whole Jurassic Park can of worms (which is interesting if he later comes to like the person and ends up telling them the truth at some point)

but I feel like sometimes when he’s extra annoyed with the question of what it was like, he’ll just kind of be like “well, there was a t-rex, and fun fact about them...” and then launch into like a 30 minute spiel of all the facts he knows cause it’s a loophole to A. avoid the question, and hopefully convince the person it’s not worth asking again and B. put his focus into gushing about what he loves which is much better for him

J- just like “you thought you were gonna learn about Jurassic Park but joke’s on you here's everything you need to know about dinosaurs from a paleontologist’s perspective”

and yeah he’s the most encouraging person most people know and everyone loves that about him, which also thankfully means that he’s able to start to amass a reputation for being like everyone’s personal cheerleader rather than Jurassic Park boy, which he really appreciates. especially the first time he’s intro’d to someone new and it’s not like “this is Tim, he’s John Hammond’s grandson” or “this is Tim, he was one of the few people who got to see the original Jurassic Park” and instead just “this is Tim and he’s the kindest person you’ll ever meet, you’ll love him” like big 💖 energy

this also happens a bit with his academic work, that he reaches a certain point and he’s finally known more for his research than his family/experience. but unfortunately he is still an academic in a field of people obsessed with dinosaurs, so the topic does come up pretty easily and people do point him out

speaking of, the first time another paleontologist trashes Jurassic World in his presence, someone quickly points out who he is, and the person is in the midst of saying “oh my god I’m so sorry” when he cuts them off with a simple gesture and is like “no it’s okay, I absolutely agree”

after that, most of colleagues know that he will not only participate in, but also sometimes lead the trashtalk, and it’s a fun time, though every once in a while if there are a few new people around, the same scene of realizing who he is and apologizing will play out

one time it happens when he’s a bit tipsy and he’s just kind of a lot less filtered and it comes out more “no it’s okay, fuck that place”, and it’s very non-malicious, but no one’s ever heard him swear when he wasn’t angry so everyone’s kinda looking at him for a few seconds worried he’s about to get pissed about the park again, but then he’s like “um... okay, come on let’s dance” and that’s how his colleagues know that they have given him too much alcohol (at Julie’s suggestion, it was only like 2 glasses (maybe even less), the boy is a light-weight)

also if you thought sober Tim liked to ramble about dinosaurs, just wait till you meet drunk Tim? he’s basically the same, but just a lot more stream-of-consciousness in a way where he doesn’t make any sense but he’s always like “ya know?” and you feel obligated to be like “yeah, I sure do”

and he also likes to make dinosaur jokes. and dance. he’s already got quite a bit of energy when sober and when he’s drunk it just all leaks out in dancing

also one final thing but a few ideas on scars:

so obviously he has quite a few, but as cool as the eyebrow is, I really wanna focus on his palms

I’m imagining them like white patches on his hands, softer, more sensitive skin, that branch out into sharp spindly lines running up his wrist? he thinks they look kind of cool, but they’re definitely a magnet for unwanted attention

sometimes they tingle a bit during a thunderstorm, and times like those he finds it a bit harder to work with his hands

similarly, if he’s been writing for too long, either with a pen or typing, they tend to ache quite a bit, so he’s forced to break more often than he’d like. he tries not to let them slow him down, but occasionally they get to him

especially when he’s working on his thesis (which, sidenote, I don’t know a thing about theses, but I’m gonna go ahead and say that his definitely had to do with the technological breakthroughs that allowed the dinosaurs to be brought back to life, as well as the inaccuracies (due to the missing DNA and a desire to make them scarier rather than realistic), and how they can have a severely negative impact since they were meant to be extinct), they can really frustrate him, but he just tries to take deep breaths, go do something simple for a while like watch TV, and eventually he’s able to get back to it. but seriously, some days when he’s in the flow and he does not want to break it, he either has to fight past the pain (which is going to leave him hurting for longer), or sacrifice that train of thought, and he just gets so frustrated sometimes

his students can usually tell when the scars are bothering him while he’s trying to write at the board. he’ll start to get a bit restless about it, moving around the room more in between writing his notes. in response, they tend to try raising their hands more, asking simple but distracting questions so he has a bit of time away from writing

when he first realizes what they’re doing he’s so appreciative he almost starts crying. he loves these kids and they love him and it’s so sweet

okay I know I said final thing but just one more and then I am finished

Julie and I talked about this a while ago so I can no longer remember who said what, but Tim absolutely has a Jurassic Park shirt

it was given to him by his grandpa a bit before the trip to get the kids really excited

unfortunately there was an order error and the only shirts that came in time were adult large, so Tim didn’t exactly fit into it

that’s fine with him though, and he basically wears it as a night-gown for the whole week leading up to the trip

afterwards, he feels a bit weird about it, and doesn’t really wear it until years later, after his grandpa’s died, when he finds it buried in his closet as he’s packing up to move out for school

he starts wearing it again to bed some nights. he likes to wear it when he really misses his grandpa. despite mixed feelings on the park itself, Tim feels close to his grandfather in that way

by now he’s grown into it, and it’s just the exact perfect fit for him, a little loose, but so well worn in and soft that it’s just absolutely perfect for him 🥰

I think that might actually be it. I love Timothy Murphy so much, this is a PSA

#tim murphy #jurassic park #joe mazzello #long post #nicole watches jurassic park #sorry it's so long?

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makeste · 5 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 174: Fancy Rich People Tea

Previously on BnHA: Mirio and Deku took Eri on a whirlwind weekend tour of U.A. We learned that class B is putting on a play for the festival which sounds amazing and also appears to be infringing on no fewer than three copyrights. We ran into Hadou and Amajiki who were doing some preparations for Hadou’s Miss Con campaign. We learned that the support department has a tech exhibition at the festival each year which is a big deal for them. We also learned that Shinsou is Still At It. Not sure what it is. But he’s still here guys! Finally we ran into Midnight and the Rat Principal at the cafeteria and learned that Rat Principal had to pull lots of strings and jump through a bunch of hoops in order to run the event this year. Basically security is going to be crazy, and if someone so much as sneezes something that sounds like ‘villain attack’ they will immediately call the whole thing off and evacuate. Sounds fair. All in all, Eri had a good time and is looking forward to the actual event! Also Deku got fired from the dance squad. That’s rough, buddy.

Today on BnHA: Mina explains that they need Deku to help the staging team turn Aoyama into a human disco ball. Deku agrees so long as he still gets to dance a little bit. The next morning Deku and All Might run into Mei while training in the woods. We learn that she’s working on a new support item for Deku which will be ready soon. That evening Momo makes some fancy tea for everyone while Deku fucks around on Youtube and accidentally stumbles across one of Gentle’s videos. We then cut to Gentle and La Brava, and Gent breaks down the details of his plan. They’ll take a sneaky route to approach U.A. on the day of the festival, using back streets and side roads. Then they’ll stop and drink tea (the same fancy brand that Momo uses) for an hour and a half. Then they’ll approach U.A. from the woods, and La Brava will breach U.A.’s security barrier with her mad hacking skills. We learn that she used those same skills to track down Gentle after she first saw his videos, and afterwards she devoted herself to his cause. Gentle says he is putting his heart and soul into this new plan for her sake and for the sake of his own dreams.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 199 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

look at this sweet girl trying to soften the blow

yeah because Aoyama totally ditched them. sorry Deku, they need a new disco ball

...or maybe not!

sorry Deku we need a new dispersal method for our disco ball

so wait. they’re really going through with this, huh. this wild stream-of-consciousness rambling from Mina really became the centerpiece for the entire dance floor

and Aoyama is FULLY ON BOARD now

so now this job is perfect for you huh. well you sure are a good sport

so they want Deku to break off from the main group at the same time as Aoyama and help him out

so once he has been “dispersed” you can probably still go have your dance with Eri, Deku! you can do that thing where she stands on top of your feet and you waltz around. it’s going to be so cute omg. make sure your mom videotapes it

speaking of are the parents going to get to come to this thing too? or will it really only be the kids. let their moms and dads come see all of their hard work!

(ETA: I was hoping we would see some of the parents but if they were there we missed it. booooo)

now Kiri is doing that hands-clapped-together pleading thing and apologizing to Deku, but he says they really need his help

lol so they’ve realized that they can’t put all their eggs into the “Aoyama as disco ball” basket

this is an honest-to-god serious conversation these kids are happening. with note-taking and everything. Todoroki fucking Shouto is in on this. “how long can we hold people’s attention by transforming Aoyama into a disco ball.” science

okay but. you guys... are planning other stuff too. right. ...???

(ETA: they sure are. that ice stuff that Mina also suggested. I’m telling you guys, she’s the undisputed MVP of this whole arc, and without her their festival program would have been shit)

lol well okay then. this is going to be so interesting

anyway so Deku’s all “I guess it’s okay then as long as I have a turn dancing,” and he’s agreeing to it

now we’re cutting to 6:30 a.m. on some random unknown day and Deku is training for his new move under All Might’s supervision

All Might is chock full of sage mentor wisdom

“always remember: bleeding internally is bad.” good stuff. write that down, Deku

he’s asking All Might if he has any tricks for maintaining control of the attack, since this is the first move he’s learned that he can’t just use freely

sage mentor wisdom

so apparently All Might was some sort of OFA prodigy and was able to control 100% OFA almost instantly. so he really genuinely has no idea how to teach it, because to him it just came naturally

was he just that buff when he got the quirk?? how old was he when he got it? did he actually attend U.A. as a quirkless kid? because middle school Toshinori sure as hell wasn’t ripped just yet, I can definitely tell you that much

I’m very, very, very curious about this, ngl. because I feel like the series has yet to clarify whether you need to be built like a Marvel Chris in order for your body to have the stamina to withstand OFA, or if that actually doesn’t have that much to do with it and the control needed to master it is actually more mental/spiritual than physical

like obviously physicality has a lot to do with it, though. but All Might could still use 100% for a long time even in his withered and weakened body. and Shimura, the only other OFA user we’ve seen at this juncture, was obviously super cool and tough, but it wasn’t like she was a female body builder or anything

and then of course there’s the question of exactly how much stronger Deku’s version of OFA is, though. how much of a difference is there because All Might’s strength was added to the mix? that obviously makes a big difference as well

basically I still have a lot of questions! maybe I should get back to this training scene and see if it answers any of them!

so he’s telling Deku to visualize the image of OFA -- the egg in microwave image again, I guess? -- and remember that sensation in his body. basically he’s trying to coach him on bringing it out intuitively

and Deku’s thinking to himself that even though they were both born quirkless, there’s a big difference between them still

so this does make it sound like a lot of it is mental

honestly that’s exciting and very important to me because it means that if Deku ever has a breakthrough, he could potentially make a huge leap forward in progress very suddenly

(ETA: LOOOOOOL good god I’ll say.

also! now that I know more about future developments with OFA, I’ve been thinking that I wasn’t giving Deku enough credit here. he is, in fact, just as much of a prodigy as All Might, I think. the difference is that All Might was able to master the physical aspects of OFA, whereas Deku seems to be more in touch with the spiritual side that All Might (supposedly) never really awakened. or to put it in Avatar: The Last Airbender terms, All Might was more of a Korra and Deku is more of an Aang. fortunately for Deku, it seems that being in tune with the spiritual part of OFA gives you access to some really neat stuff, holy shit.)

HOLY SHIT

THIS DUDE’S STILL GOT IT

holy shit that came out of nowhere at top speed and he caught it without looking like a total badass. WHO EVEN NEEDS ONE FOR ALL. OR ORGANS

so now Mei’s traipsing out of the woods and asking if anyone got hurt. nope, but you almost killed my husband and my son so try to be more careful next time

Deku’s belatedly realizing that this looks kind of weird, him being out in the middle of the woods having SECRET TRAINING with All Might at the crack of dawn

so All Might, master of improvisation that he is, is switching to Kansai dialect for some reason. to try and disguise himself. because of course that’ll work

thankfully, out of everyone they could have stumbled across in the woods, Hatsume Mei is the most singularly one-track-minded person they could have possibly met, and she’s barely even batting an eye

hmm?

new item, eh?

and he’s surprised and says he thought it wouldn’t be ready until after the cultural festival

but she already had the materials, so she says it’ll take no time at all

so he’s thanking her and now she’s walking off again

and by the way, this thing that All Might caught literally is a golden snitch, though

All Might > Harry Potter confirmed

(ETA: and by the way, this makes two HP references two chapters in a row, given the title of 1-B’s play. Horikoshi must have recently marathoned the films or something)

now he’s asking Deku about the new item

Deku says there was something he wanted to try out with his new technique

All Might is mentioning that he also tried using support items at one point back in the day, but apparently they only ended up getting in his way and tended to break whenever he went over 20-30%

oh hey

haven’t seen this in a while. here I thought his suit was way too fitted to accommodate this sort of thing anymore. he’s probably ruined it now

(ETA: you can actually see that the top button is about to pop off lol)

anyway, he’s telling Deku that using support items is great, just so long as he doesn’t end up relying on them too much

he says he’s seen a lot of instances where heroes that relied too much on their items had a bad time when those items were lost

this kinda seems to go against what Aoyama was saying a few chapters earlier. he’s an example of someone who does rely on a support item, and he seems to do all right. but I get what All Might is trying to tell him though

so Deku is all “got it!” and clenching his fist determinedly

aww

it is, though. I was just thinking that. I adore these All Might/Deku training scenes and it’s been great to have a return to this

so now we’re cutting back to Heights Alliance, and I’m assuming it’s the evening because the moon is up

Bakugou is squabbling with Kaminari and telling him he he plays too fast. Kaminari says Bakugou is the one screwing them up because he keeps improvising

obligatory posting of this panel of MomoJirou being lesbians

I live for the little things, I really do

omg

okay, (1) this is the cutest thing that’s ever happened ever in history, and (2) I just remembered that that was the chapter title. “imperial golden tips.” so it appears the chapter is named after Momo’s fancy tea that her mom sent her

everyone’s all excited to try it because it’s fancy rich people tea

lmao. Ochako’s asking if Deku’s going to have any, and

“am I... a bad nerd??” Deku berates himself while lying awake in bed that night sobbing uncontrollably

so I think that while Deku and Ochako are being clumsy dorks here they’re going to accidentally click on one of Gentle’s videos perhaps?

yep

in a way it’s kind of charming to know that Youtube’s suggested videos algorithm is still complete shit even in the BnHA universe 200 years from now. Deku was looking for All Might support items. Youtube: [brings up villain tea videos]

so Ochako has no idea who he is, but Deku’s actually heard of him although he says he’s not too familiar. but he knows he’s an infamous Youtube Villain

:) the answer may surprise you!

though it shouldn’t, actually. you guys should just go ahead and assume you’re the targets of every upcoming villain plot from here on out. that’s the way the dice seem to be falling nowadays

now we’re cutting to Gentle and La Brava

Gentle is writing something out with a feather quill like some sort of Harry Potter character. I couldn’t come up with a more creative simile because my mind’s still in that mode thanks to the golden snitch earlier

this man just sits around in full costume writing letters with a quill even as a laptop sits inches away. he’s just that committed to his gig. he lives this life 24/7 huh

he says that the public is growing more and more dissatisfied with heroes nowadays, and it’s because they’re “feeble-minded”

I’d actually argue that at this point, them being attacked is the predictable thing

now La Brava is asking if he’s going to involve the kids that will become future heroes. YEAH, GENTLE

I’D ARGUE THAT THEY’VE HAD ENOUGH WAKE UP CALLS BY THIS POINT

like. can they live. can they just have this one little thing though, god

oh my god

thanks La Brava. this is why he keeps you around

so now they’re going over the route!

so they’re going to approach at 5 a.m. that morning, taking a route that passes by the fewest hero offices

then they’re going to turn onto a side road, go through a residential area, and then they’ll end up at a park

blah blah so about an hour will elapse during this time and they’ll end up at a rundown house that’s actually a cafe

and he says they’re going to stop there to get some tea

apparently they serve the same tea that that Momo was coincidentally serving to everyone earlier. the imperial golden tips stuff

so... they’re going to wait until the shop opens, and then take a 90-minute tea break

let me tell you, it sure is riveting going through every detailed step of this elaborate criminal operation

then they go back outside and pass through a construction site and then climb a hill

ah, finally!

yeah probably at like 5pm at this rate. the festival will have already ended and you shrug and turn around and head back home

he says that since Hounddog will probably be guarding the area, they’ll rub themselves with dirt and leaves to mask their scent

then they’re gonna hit the famed U.A. barrier, which is impossible to get through without a permit

but apparently La Brava is A HACKING PRO, so she’s gonna hack U.A.’s network and shut down their sensors

is it really that easy? shit. doesn’t U.A. have any IT heroes? little did we know this whole time the password to their network was 1234

lmao we’re flashing back to when they first met

“corrupt businessman scolded” sounds like the kind of shit that should have gone viral tbh

then one day La Brava tracked him down and said she was a huge fan and she offered to help him

she apparently hacked his address. since the police haven’t found them yet, I’m assuming they’ve since moved, or taken down that initial video, or both lol

so now he’s proclaiming that this time around he’ll proudly put his life on the line

aww

yeah so that’s basically it. and now time is progressing to the night before the cultural festival OH GOODNESS

BONUS:

so as promised, we’re gonna do two pages today since I flaked out yesterday!

page one - class B painting the prop dragon

nothing much to say about this one except that obviously they’re going to keep painting it until they’re fucking done painting it, Colander Man

page two - Kenrazaki Bibimi’s profile. I couldn’t find a scanlation for this, so my Google Translate-assisted version is below lol

likes: glittering people, glittering things

the beauty gal

“too beautiful. it’s fun to draw her eyelashes.” lol

is it weird that now that the shock of said lashes has died down some, I actually do think she is really pretty? lol what is this manga doing to me

#bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #all might #hatsume mei #gentle (bnha)#la brava (bnha)#bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #before this chapter I never realized just how much of U.A. is surrounded by woods #serious question: where the hell did they find that much undeveloped land in goddamn tokyo #or did they buy the land and then demolish all the buildings and plant a new forest themselves #also how old is u.a. the school anyway #like how long ago was it established #I have a lot of questions about this actually and I'd like to know #hopefully horikoshi will give us a bit more history someday

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thegeneralsnotebook · 5 years

Text

Adventures in Deckbuilding #157: Bubbly Mare, Helping Hoof (Yellow/Pink Midrange) [Harmony]

Bubbly Mare, Helping Hoof

Strawberry Season

I found it a strange coincidence that earlier today there was some discussion on the Discord server about Strawberry Sunrise and her viability in the future. Naturally I have some bias with regard to that card, being the first player to consider her usefulness at trying to build a Yellow and Pink control deck. I never found much success with that original deck, but I haven’t forgotten the card. That experience tells me that Strawberry is probably not going to get anywhere in the game as it is today. This is mostly because the colours that she is in don’t really support the style of deck that she wants to be played in. But it’s also because the metagame as a whole doesn’t have much support for her kind of deck either.

When she’s working, Strawberry is a card that wins by inevitability. It’s saying “You can’t defeat my Troublemakers, so I’m just going to win this game in my own time.” In a perfect world, Strawberry shouldn’t even have to run removal herself. Again, no matter what’s on the other side of the board, they can’t beat your Troublemakers, ergo they can’t confront Problems, so you win. In practice, of course, you absolutely do have to have a few tricks up your sleeve, and really more than a few, as we see in this deck today.

Strawberry’s biggest weakness is in her early game. She’s vulnerable to removal all of the time, but the chief problem is that the 3 AT you pay for her at first will usually not be worth anything until your next turn. This is because her main tricks only work during your Troublemaker Phase, and obviously you can’t get her into play before then. There are admittedly some cool shenanigans you can pull with her during other parts of the game, but they’re more tangential to her true value. So in the early game, when you’re still getting set up, your opponent is sure to be saving a piece of removal just for Strawberry. And without her, the standard control deck does kind of collapse.

With this Mane, we at least have another solid piece of control to fall back on if things aren’t going so well. Following the example given to us by Paradox Pony, we play on the possibility of an early flip by finding Backup Vocals and using our starting Problem to play her Turn 3. Following the example of Changeling Pretender, who helmed my old Strawberry deck, we include a lot of entry for both of our colours on the off chance that our Mane isn’t going to flip early.

This time, we’re also including a good chunk of the Yellow/Pink retirement cards, as that strategy is essentially what this colour combination is good at. Bubbly Mare goes very well with the wealth of combined removal that these two colours can dish out, especially since her ability means that returning things to your opponent’s hand is a lot better than usual. Unfortunately, it’s still sometimes not going to be a good idea, because enters-play are just so good these days, but it certainly helps.

Yellow’s versatility naturally gets to come in and lend a helping hoof again. We have such a wealth of Resource removal to choose from that we can even afford to start toolboxing it a little. That singleton Beavers is there to be our one piece that can get around Desert Road. Meanwhile Lemon Hearts remains one of my favourite Turn 1 plays in the game, for all those pesky Staves that you sometimes run into.

In general, while this deck can play the usual Strawberry thing, it has the advantage of being to fall back onto something just a touch quicker if that’s not working out. Cutting down the Troublemaker suite makes the control game a bit less reliable, but it also means that our hand won’t be as cluttered if we’re playing the confront game instead. And it’s worth remembering that Strawberry herself isn’t a terrible card to just confront Problems with. 3 Power is right on that level where Agile starts to become really good, after all. With all of the tempo that our Mane and our removal package gives us, we likely have an okay shot at it.

It may be true that Strawberry doesn’t have much of a chance in today’s meta, but there’s always tomorrow, and she’ll be around for a while yet. I can foresee futures where she gets her time in the Sun.

Things have gotten back to some measure of normalcy now that I haven’t got apologies to Twilight to occupy every one of these ending blurbs. Instead, I’ll simply have to write what comes to my head. Give or take a few rambling streams of consciousness that don’t ultimately go anywhere, that should work out just fine. And look! Our next Mane is in fact Discord, Give or Take.

#mlpccg #mlp:ccg

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 5 years

Note

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please. The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

A note to readers: if I may ask, please hold back your own sarcasm and such.

I don’t explicitly set a length limit anywhere for asks as most people stop at a fairly reasonable 5 or 6 - I’ve gotten extremely long asks only a few other times and those were mostly overnight for me so I didn’t get to weigh in in medias res, so while this person definitely needs to work on editing there’s some good content. Had there been anything egregiously offensive, ignorant, or annoying I’d have been much more brusque or I’d just have blocked them; this was a genuine misread of the situation. It’s really hard for me to define what’s good to send for typing; it’s very much a case of knowing it when I see it and I know that can be difficult for some people to interpret. Answer is below the jump.

Hi anon,

I may have had some mild fun at your expense; when I see someone is 10 messages deep and talking about Mamma Mia I have to say I have concerns about their ability to decide what is relevant information.

Anyway I’m going to answer this piece by piece. This will not be my, uh, least snarky answer; the cost of doing business of mbti typing with me for no money is that I like to enjoy myself. But I will attempt to also provide a good faith answer as you have some solid examples within all this.

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please.

As you can see I will not really bear with you but I do appreciate you doing some research

The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

I feel like people use this sort of language to be like “please don’t type me as a high Si user” when in fact this is EXTREMELY high healthy Si user. Thought it could be a lower Si user as well. Anyway, moving on

For example, it's sad how many people believe in God just because thats how they were raised without actually reading the Bible (no hard feelings to believers, I also believe)

I’m...not going to unpack that

I like to speak out loud some ideas with no thoughts of acting on them but some people tend to believe I'm dead set on the idea and it causes some misunderstandings. Also, I have at least 6 back up plans for my future in case some of them won't fly. (2/???)

Here’s the deal when people say they’ve studied EVERYTHING and then ramble on for a long time and can’t type themselves I often suspect the issue isn’t that they don’t know MBTI but that they need to learn themselves. Contingency plans tend to be Ne-Si; speaking out loud with no plans to act is pretty normal.

I plan on going to a country abroad in 2 years from now and I've already made plans what I want to see there. I have a list of places I need to visit arranged in order so I could visit as many places in the most effective way because I don't want to waste my precious time spend there. I also enjoy telling people about my plans of going there as it makes me really excited. The unknown excites me and I enjoy wandering around a city I visit for the first time because I don't know it.

I can’t type off of this specifically yet but it’s interesting because you have extremely detailed plans (more of a sensing thing) but for a trip that I can’t imagine you’ve finalized if it’s that far off.

Wandering around cities is great though, I agree with you there.

I'm also really good at remembering routes and getting to the destination. I like figuring out how to get there.

Maybe immature Si user actually? Getting really indignant about poor use of Si, plus that bit about the bible I said I wouldn’t unpack sounds like it could be as well especially if paired with Fe and/or Christian views of religion.

I'm a bit reserved at first as I need to test the waters before I decide I like someone. It takes me sometime to warm up but I actually enjoy small talk and feel tempted to speak to a cashier at shop or a fellow passenger at bus which isn't as socially acceptable at my country so I don't really do this - I don't want to come across as a weird person but at the same time, (4/???)

I'm not really bothered to play a social game and I often seem to be rude (resting bitch face, actually I'm not judgmental and I'm quite chill about most of things). I know in mbti e vs i isn't perceived in a traditional way but I identify as ambivert as most of people, heh. My introverted friends say I'm an extravert but extraverts find me a quiet girl. I'm also 9w1 if that helps.

Yeah I’m thinking ISFJ now honestly, not wanting to violate social norms, introverted but enjoys small talk, and 9w1 goes with ISFJ a lot.

I've been also always thought to be a smart one who knows a lot of stuff about many things (5/???)

I could say I'm a walking contradiction as I mentioned in my previous post btw I'm sorry I asked you to type me with a vague info, this time I put a lot of effort ♡ Oh god please don’t say you’re a walking contradiction, I truly believe your intentions are good here and I do not hold this against you but that phrase is what guys who think they’re going to make it in a band despite having no talent say in their tinder bios.

At first I was sure I'm Ne/Si but now I see a possibility of being Ni/Se.I often forget what I'm supposed to do as I've just done because I had this super relevant thing to write but I forgot, damn it.

You seem very nice and perhaps just sort of young so I would suggest...writing this in advance instead of stream of consciousness which might help you organize your thoughts and edit yourself a little? I’m writing this response in advance. Like 90% of my answers I write in a Google Doc and then paste it into the Tumblr askbox later. It’s great.

(6/???) I'm getting lost in the numbers

Hard same.

I'm also quite stubborn and I'll study a thing as long as it's needed for me to fully understand it - it drives me crazy when I study for an exam, I ask my friend for help because I don't understand the concept and she tells me I don't need to understand it, I just need to memorize it.

Sounds very much like Ti here, which fits the earlier typing of Fe-user.

I do things for 101% or I don't do it at all.

I’m guilty of saying this too; I think many people see this quality in themselves unfortunately and I’m not sure it ultimately means much.

I also have a friend who helps me to stay grounded as she remembers some stuff for me and I'm pretty sure I'll be lost without her (7/???) I didn't think I wrotesomuch

yeah...about that.

I'm quite oblivious on daily basis, I went through school hallway and didn't notice a big ballot box. I only notice things when i want to and it's not a natural thing for me. But when I do pay attention, I'm sometimes mischievous on purpose and enjoy pushing buttons of others. I work on not doing it, I promiseI have a great talent to focusing on irrelevant things and I struggle to do well in my infp teacher classes - even though I know I need a shitload of details from readings (8/???)

So here’s the thing: I really don’t think you use Ni. First of all, the stream of consciousness thing tends to be something Ni users don’t like to do in my experience: they like to edit. They also just...don’t sound the way you do? Like this is rambly but it’s coherent in a way an INFJ ramble of this nature wouldn’t be. You could be an INTP actually with rigid low Si and Fe instead of immature higher Si though. But I’m pretty confident at this point you use the Fe-Ti and Ne-Si axes.

One thing I do find funny, even though I suppose I set people up for it, is when I get asks that are like “here is the detailed description of when I didn’t notice a detail and here is what I didn’t notice”. Like, we do all miss things and while it’s more common in intuitives, my legally-blind-without-glasses Si-dom mother does this too because she can’t see for shit, so.

to do well in exam, I always choose things that aren't relevant to her. She's an excellent teacher and I enjoy her insights. As for Ni/Se, I'm amazed how many things my peers do without thinking about consequences. For example, I wouldn't drink till I'm unconscious because I know I would upset my parents. I perceived it as ni, might be wrong though.

You are wrong in that this isn’t Ni, it’s called basic self-preservation. I’ve gotten extremely drunk from time to time in my life but I have never gotten drunk to the point of involuntary passing out because that is when you fucking die. Your instincts are correct here, your reasoning about your parents is probably Fe, but your decision itself is not Ni.

(9/???) Now, I'm geniually sorry I wrote so much even though I'm not usually but this case is special

I appreciate the apology but this is something I often observe with people who use Fe: they’ll apologize several timesfor long asks or asks that ignore the FAQ or whatever, but like, they still do it. I’ve had to have this conversation IRL with Fe users actually, of “I’m really not looking for an apology, I’m looking for the thing you’ve apologized for to stop.” That is a whole other post about communication though that I may make tomorrow.

I'm also really into helping others[(what contradicts with my mischief, here we go again (I didn't like the 2nd part of mamma Mia as much as the first - it was too sad, I cried in the cinema and the holiday-happy-vibe was missing, it's off topic, isnt it, the second part is called mamma mia: here we go again and I liked the first part so much I watched it like 20 times and know all the songs by heart)] (10/???)

This was the point where I decided to start fucking with you and to turn off anon, not going to lie, because I hadn’t read the rest but I saw 10/??? after an off-topic post about Mamma Mia and was like “okay we’re going to finish it now”

Anyway from this whole thing I cannot decide if you are an ISFJ or INTP, but I’m going to guess INTP as the 9w1 might be what was making me think high Fe before.

#mbti #long post #Anon ask #answered asks

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star-trekkin-across-theuniverse · 6 years

Text

Speak of the Devil (A Human Resources one-shot)

Word Count: 4314 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso@feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara-archive @little-study-bug@rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses@mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77

Summary: Never kiss and tell. The guy always finds out, even when he's long since moved to the West coast office.

"The new guy in accounting is super hot. Have you taken a good look at his ass?" Erin waggled her eyebrows over the top of her computer monitor at me. I rolled my eyes.

"He's a jerk, Erin. I spent all of thirty seconds trying to hand him the orientation manual and he did nothing but stare at my boobs the whole time," I complained. It had been exceptionally off-putting. He hadn't even tried to make eye contact.

"Honey, I spend half my day looking at your boobs," she laughed. "There is nothing understated about your rack. It's hard to miss."

"Yes, I get it, they're big. But they aren't so big that common courtesy needs to fly out the window. First impressions are important, Erin. I don't care how nice his ass is, if he's spending all his time staring at my boobs, I'm not interested," I explained. "Plus, I can't see if the ass in question is nice when the guy is so mesmerized by my magic boobs that I can't get behind him to suss out the goods."

"Sneak into accounting through the back stairwell. Then you can take him unaware." Her response was so matter-of-fact that I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm not really looking, Erin. I'm not even into window-shopping right now. So I don't see the point." I shut her down and went back to the expense report I was working on. I don't know what Romanoff and Barton had got up to in Budapest, but it was spendy. And Fury had approved every last dime that was claimed, including a dubious charge for what appeared to be a rockin' pair of shoes. It was moments like these that I wondered if the perks of being a field agent were worth the constant risks.

"This isn't still about –"

"Jack and I were together for –"

"Oh, no! You do not, two years later, get to blame your reticence on Jack Jackson! This is about Agent Tonsil Hockey, and you know it!" She interrupted. She'd come up with the unflattering nickname for Agent Coulson after I told her about him saving me from spinsterhood at my cousin's wedding. She'd been using it for the better part of two years, and it wasn't any easier to take now than it had been in the first weeks after the wedding.

"Ugh. You know I hate it when you use that name for him." My complaint fell on deaf ears as usual.

"Agent Dreamboat? Agent Smoochins? Agent you-would-happily-do-things-to-him-that-would-require-you-to-spend-the-rest-of-your-career-in-a-sexual-harassment-seminar? That last one might be too wordy." She typed as she spoke. It was a talent I lacked, and it was never more irritating than when she was teasing me about something. I had to focus on my tasks or what was being said wound up in briefings. After being called into Fury's office to explain the sidebar detailing how hot Erin thought Agent Barton was, I never mixed work and gossip anymore.

The old saying was 'speak of the devil and he will appear'. It was exceptionally true for SHIELD agents. As though summoned by her stream of consciousness rambling, Coulson appeared at the door of our shared office. The appearance was made all the more shocking because he was working out of the West Coast office, and had been for at least a year. I'd only spoken to him a couple of times since his transfer, and only seen him once. Not that I'd been keeping count.

"Ms. Ellis, I have some A2-336Es for you to process," he held some paper out to me. Sexual harassment forms. I gave him a puzzled look and took the small pile. I flipped through the forms and was surprised to see one with his name on it at the bottom.

"Agent Coulson?" I left the question unspoken. There was no way in the world someone would ever think anything he did was inappropriate.

"I'm volunteering to take the seminar. Some of the team I'm working with would benefit from having an education day, but I'd like to have an excuse to supervise. Rather than just outright announce I was coming to make sure they didn't put Ms. Jenkins into early retirement, I thought I would file on myself," he explained. I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding, and had to admit that Erin might be right about me because all I could think about when I saw his name on the top of that form was that I was pissed he hadn't been sexually harassing me.

"This is highly abnormal, Agent Coulson. A Stark goes on your permanent personnel record, regardless of whether or not you've faked it," I offered.

"A Stark?" Coulson raised an eyebrow.

"On his first day in the building, he slapped Jenkins' ass, kissed Annie on the cheek and told me I needed a boob job. After comparing mine with Annie's. Jenkins' wrote up eight different A2-336Es on him in the first twenty minutes he was on-site," Erin explained. I saw Coulson's gaze flicked between Erin and me and wondered if he was comparing them too. But it was Coulson, who was the epitome of appropriate. He was probably just acknowledging Erin's comment.

"Regardless, I need to be in that seminar, and it needs to be recorded as being for a sexual harassment infraction," Coulson shrugged.

"Why don't you just take Annie to the copy room and kiss her again then?" Erin suggested. I felt myself blanch, and then could feel the colour rush into my face just as quickly. I shot her a look that I really hoped conveyed how dead she was going to be when I was finished murdering her. Coulson had a faint pink tinge creeping up his neck. His gaze met mine and I looked back, determined not to blink first. The truth was, he had kissed me. And Erin was my office-mate and my best friend, so of course I would have told her. He should be thanking me for telling her he was the knight in shining armour who saved me from myself. He finally looked away, the muscle in his jaw tense.

"Just book me into the seminar, please." He turned on his heel and headed out of the office, and I couldn't let him leave angry with me. I shot Erin a filthy look and ran out to the elevator and stepped on just as the doors were sliding shut.

"You're angry," I thought pointing out the obvious would be the best place to start.

"Not at you, Ms. Ellis." His tone was curt and he refused to look at me, opting instead to look out across the river. I felt a hot flare of anger lick up my spine and I smacked the emergency stop button on the elevator door. The alarm buzzed and then silenced.

"According to the emergency protocol for this elevator, you have approximately two minutes to explain before we are going to be summarily rescued and interrogated about why the alarm was pulled. I hope you can speak quickly, Agent Coulson," I snapped. He spun around and glared at me.

"What am I supposed to say? Ms. Ellis, I was out of line at your cousin's wedding, and I've regretted my behaviour ever since. I wish I could turn back time and make it go away, but I can't. I'm sorry. I took advantage of you. Maybe I need that seminar more than I realize." He was angry at himself. Not at me. I could see my reflection on the glass behind him and the look of pure confusion on my face must have been deeply confusing to him.

"Why are you apologizing? Coulson, I'm competent to defend myself. If you'd crossed any line, I could have ensured you sang falsetto for the rest of your natural life. You have nothing to be sorry for." I glanced at my watch. Thirty seconds to go. It was his turn to look confused.

"You aren't angry with me?"

"Is this why you've been weird with me? For the last two years?" I was stunned.

"I moved to the West Coast office," he blurted.

"Yes, I know, I processed your expense account. I meant weird the few times we've had to interact since your transfer. This might not be the right time to mention it, but I've missed you. You're the only agent that speaks to any of us like we're human." I quickly clarified.

"I moved to the West Coast office because I felt that my behaviour had been so grossly –"

"Elevator status report. Two occupants, both alert with no visible signs of distress." The security guard who'd opened the elevator doors above us looked down into the elevator car and spoke into the radio on his shoulder. The radio crackled in response. Before Coulson could finish his thought, we were being hoisted out of the car to the floor above us and escorted to security holding for interrogation.

XXX

“Ms. Ellis, Director Fury has requested a recruitment seminar in the Vancouver office,” Jenkins’ began. I immediately gave her my undivided attention. A free trip home would be awesome.

“I would be happy to put together a cohesive seminar targeted toward the lower mainland universities,” I offered. Jenkins’ nodded and narrowed her eyes in thought.

“How soon can you have it ready?” She asked.

“If I pull from the existing resources, it shouldn’t take more than a day to get coordinated. Depends on the backlog at the printshop.” Posters and handouts would need to be targeted to the specific schools, but SHIELD had swag at the ready. For a super-secret extra-governmental organization, there was a lot of shit with the eagle on it floating around. Pens, water bottles, post-its. It was a matter of filling a box.

“Excellent. Have it on my desk tomorrow for approval,” Jenkins’ breezed out of my office and shut her own office door behind her. Erin and I weren’t even allowed to have a door on our shared office.

I pushed through the last of Coulson’s A2-336Es quickly and scheduled his team for the next seminar, but I deliberately left the form he filled out for himself incomplete. Instead I just scheduled him to attend on a provisional clause for extended education. If he ever asked, I planned on telling him I’d completed the form as he’d requested, but I was not going to be the person responsible for marring his otherwise spotless personnel record.

The seminar came together as quickly as I’d expected, and when I called down to the printshop to leave a voice message about the job I’d shipped, I caught one of the staff working late. It was advantageous for me because it let me ensure a firm completion date for the media files, and I was able to schedule the dates of the trip for the following week before I went home for the night. I sent a quick email to Jenkins before I went home.

I filled the bathtub with bubbles and poured myself a glass of scotch on ice as a reward for my hard work. As I sunk into the bubbles, I started mentally packing. It was early fall, so I would need my raincoat, and at least one sweater, but I was also going to need to pack for the potential of lingering summer warmth. I was so excited that a shiver ran across my shoulders.

“This looks excellent, Ms. Ellis. Can you schedule the travel as well?” Jenkins asked after she looked over the seminar.

“I’ve got a hold on tickets for Monday. I just need to call and confirm the details,” I agreed.

“Oh, that sexual harassment seminar is on Monday afternoon,” she sighed. “You’ll have to run it for me. Here’s everything you need to finish booking me through to Vancouver. Can you ensure I’m at a nice hotel? And if you could forward me a recommended packing list, I would appreciate it.”

My blood ran cold. I wasn’t the one doing the recruitment seminar. Jenkins had completely led me to believe I was, but had been planning on taking the trip herself the whole time. The bitch.

“Well, it’s autumn in Canada. Pack warm,” I recommended, not the least bit repentant in my misinformation. I hoped she got off the plane to a heatwave wearing a parka. I briefly contemplated giving her other bad advice, but bit my tongue. I didn’t want anything that could come back and haunt me.

“Good morning. My name is Anna Ellis, and I am a Human Resources specialist here at SHIELD. The reason we’re all gathered here today is to discuss sexual harassment in the workplace,” I breezed into the classroom carrying my coffee. I’d led the seminar once before and it was outdated and desperately in need of an overhaul. I’d spent most of my weekend updating the discussions and information so I wouldn’t feel like an idiot. Needless to say, I was tired and resentful.

“If any of you have had the dubious honour of attending this seminar before, you will note that today’s session will be significantly different than the last time you were here,” I continued.

“You’re not kidding. You’re way hotter than the last HR chick.” A young guy in a golf shirt that denoted he belonged in R&D smirked at me. I scanned the list of names scheduled to attend until I found someone from research’s name.

“Aaron Tyson?” I asked. He nodded. “If I hear another word from you, I’ll write you up a second time. SHIELD follows a three-strikes you’re out policy. And since this is your second time attending, I would strongly recommend you don’t push me.”

“But,” he protested. “Look how you’re dressed!”

I looked down at myself. I was wearing a pencil skirt that hit my knees and a fitted blouse. Which I’d actually had to have tailored so it would be fitted. Typical office attire. I raised an eyebrow and opened my mouth, but a voice piped up from the back.

“She could be naked, that doesn’t imply consent, and it doesn’t mean she’s asking for you to comment.”

I looked up and made eye contact with Agent Coulson. Inside, I was cringing. In my anger about getting sharked out of the Vancouver trip, I completely forgot that he was attending the seminar.

“And whether I am more or less attractive than the last person you took the session from has no bearing on my competence,” I added. “So we know Mr. Tyson is here, and I see Agent Coulson in the back. Let’s run through some introductions quickly so I can ensure you get paid and credited for attending.”

There were two women in the class. One of them was on Coulson’s team, and I assumed was in the session for the same reason as he was – team solidarity. The other one was clearly unhappy to be in attendance, refused to make eye contact and spent most of the introductions doodling in a notebook. Looks could be deceiving, but she was like a mouse, all drab colour and trying to be as small as possible. I made a note to talk to her at coffee break.

“Harassment, at its most base level, is about consent. Do you have consent do behave the way you are behaving? In a professional environment, it is easier to just assume you do not have consent than try to negotiate the delicate dance that innocent flirtation requires. Does that mean that inter-agency relationships are frowned upon? SHIELD is not so naïve as to assume that we are capable of keeping romances out of the workplace. But you need to be able to discern what is interest and what is professional courtesy. Chances are, the reason you are here is because you lack the ability to do so. So my advice is to stop trying to find romance at the office before it costs you your career.”

“But what if you know the person is interested in return?” Tyson asked.

“Clearly the one you were flirting with wasn’t, or you wouldn’t be here, Mr. Tyson.” It was tart, but I hated running this seminar. As a general rule it was filled with socially inappropriate losers that didn’t really deserve to keep their jobs.

“So how do I learn to tell the difference?” He asked.

“Social cues for interest are a learned behaviour. I can’t really teach you that in a one-day seminar. There’s a lot to be said for body language, but in the end, it’s about verbalized consent. Let me be clear, harassment means different things to different people,” I explained. “Some people are completely okay with casual touch during conversation, and others will find that crossing a line. In other situations, some people are so mired down in their understanding of what professionalism is that even when both parties are consenting, they feel it is harassment.” I leveled a look at Coulson and was pleased to see him glance away, obviously uncomfortable.

“Because of the nature of individuals, and individual preference and comfort, SHIELD has developed a responsive sexual harassment policy that is very clear in its interpretation. If it makes the recipient of the attention uncomfortable in any way, it is in violation of the policy. And just so we are clear, inappropriate touching is grounds for termination after the investigation of the A2-336E. And to ensure that I’ve said it at least three times, any attention that makes a person uncomfortable is considered harassment.” I really hated this seminar. “I’m going to hand out workbooks. They are filled with case studies. We have some films to watch that go along with the case studies, and then we will work through the first case together. After that, we’re going to break for coffee. After coffee, I will assign you into pairs and you can complete the remaining cases before lunch.”

I handed out the workbooks and clicked the remote to start the case videos. They were so old and outdated it wasn’t funny. The fashion was horrifying. There was one scene where a man kept telling a woman that she was a sexy little piece of ass, and her shoulder pads were so huge that her shoulders were broader than his. Her suit was so loose it was a miracle he could see if she had a sexy ass at all. I was going to have to request updated films. I filled my coffee cup and took a seat at the back of the class, at the end of the table where Coulson was seated. When the film ended, I used the remote to turn the lights back on and returned to the front of the room.

“Any questions?”

“I think that film might have been made when I was still a baby,” the mousy girl commented. I smiled and nodded.

“They are quite outdated, but they get the job done. SHIELD has been an equal opportunity employer since it was founded, so it’s always been ahead of the game with regards to harassment in the workplace.” I led the group through the first case and gauged the group quickly. The agents that were part of Coulson’s team all seemed more filled with youthful exuberance than actual offenders to the policy, but I could understand why Coulson would want them to have the education. Knowledge of boundaries was a key indicator of whether a field agent was going to be successful. The rest of the group was really a mixed bag. I pulled up the mousy girl’s file while we worked through the case and took a quick look, and was again puzzled as to why she was in the seminar. I approached her when we broke for coffee.

“Ms. Thomas, you work in IT, right?” I asked. She nodded and filled her coffee cup with an obscene amount of sugar before pouring coffee in.

“I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here?” She asked.

“If I’m completely honest, yes. You don’t strike me as the type to run around getting into trouble. Your personnel record is immaculate,” I admitted.

“I may have grabbed my ex by the balls and twisted when he fed me some bullshit line about not wanting to date me anymore.” The look on her face told me she felt attending the seminar was a fair trade. I bit my lip to prevent myself from smiling.

“Intra-agency dating gone bad? I think most of us have been there, Ms. Thomas.” And to be honest, I wish I’d thought to do that to Jack when he’d dumped me. But I couldn’t say that out loud.

“I didn’t fit with his new James Bond lifestyle after he got promoted out of security to field operative and he just couldn’t wait until after work to dump my sorry ass,” she shrugged. I cringed, completely understanding. I refilled my coffee and reconvened the class. I paired off people easily. Initially I wasn’t going to put Ms. Thomas with Tyson, but after speaking with her, I figured she could take care of herself. Which left Coulson without a partner. I pulled up a chair beside him.

“It would appear you need a partner, Coulson. Try to restrain your excitement.” He looked nervous. It made me feel powerful.

“I wasn’t expecting you today,” he began.

“I was expecting to be in Vancouver leading a recruitment drive. You’re not alone,” I laughed. “Look, we both know you don’t need this class. You don’t have to do the case studies. And I don’t think you need to worry about your team. This will be good to help them figure out where the line is, but I don’t think you have anyone to worry over there.”

“I tend to agree. About my team. I appreciate that you recommend against intra-agency relationships. In my experience that leads to nothing but trouble and is not worth the pain and drama.” His jaw was tense again and I felt a twinge of hurt. Like he was putting me, and our shared experience, aside. As something he regretted.

“Some people are worth the trouble, Coulson.”

“Very few.” It felt like a slap across the face.

“That’s really cold.” I could feel the pinch in my forehead that I always got when I started to get angry. “If you’ll excuse me. I suddenly need some fresh air.”

I walked out into the hallway and noticed my hands were shaking. Stupid fucking field agents. I felt like an idiot for carrying a torch for someone who was so clearly indifferent to me. For two fucking years. I walked to the end of the hall and looked out the window. An entire city full of politicians and military. It was no wonder I was so unsuccessful at dating. It was no wonder a straight-shooter like Coulson looked good in comparison to the professional dishonesty of the political flunkies I was surrounded by, despite his honesty being painful. I rested my head against the window and sighed.

“I didn’t mean you.” Coulson had followed me into the hallway. “I didn’t mean you weren’t worth it.”

I turned to face him. “You could have fooled me.”

“Anna,” he started. I raised an eyebrow at the familiarity. “Ms. Ellis. You are young. And beautiful. And intelligent. Why do you care what an old man like me has to say?”

“You are a good man, Coulson.”

“I’m not good at entanglements.” He stepped closer to me. I took a step back and found myself against the window. “Ms. Ellis, why me?”

“You’re my friend. You’re kind. I’ve been here four years and there’s never been a time you haven’t flirted with me. Why not you?” I reached out and pulled a tiny piece of lint off his suit. He stepped closer.

“I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t date within the ranks again.” His hand came to rest on my cheek. My breathing sped up.

“Some of the best promises are broken ones.” I slid my hands under his lapels and pulled him close. I kissed him, tentatively. His other hand came up to my face and he pulled me against him, pushing me against the window at the same time. It was demanding, and hot, and breathtaking. And just as quickly as it started, it was over. Coulson stepped away and looked at his feet.

“I’m sor –“

“Don’t you dare apologize to me, Phil Coulson.” I pulled him back to me and kissed him again. My arms snaked around his shoulders, and his hands slid down to my waist. His hip ground into mine and I pushed him away. “I kissed you, Coulson. And I’m not apologizing.”

“I can’t,” he started, “I can’t do this, Anna.”

“Why not? You have consent,” I exclaimed. Phil turned and locked gazes with me. His intensity was both frightening and a huge turn-on.

“I work a dangerous job. I made a choice when I took it. I chose the lonely road. A woman like you, Anna,” he trailed off.

“A woman like me, what?” I demanded.

“A woman like you makes a man like me question that decision. I can’t do this. I can’t do it to you. And I can’t do it to me,” he explained. He turned away and sighed. “You’re right, Ms. Ellis. I don’t need to be in this seminar. I’ll excuse myself.”

I was stunned. And angry. But mostly stunned. I wanted to scream at him, and call him a coward. But I knew it would accomplish nothing other than destroying the rather tenuous string holding our friendship together.

“I hope we can stay friends, Coulson,” I offered as he started down the hall.

“That’s why I’m leaving, Ms. Ellis,” he nodded. “I value you too much to stay.”

#phil coulson x ofc #avengers fanfic #avengers fanfic with OFC

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firelord-frowny · 3 years

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a bunch of rambling about madison and his history and my writing process under the cut, woooo

So, pretty much everything I’ve ever written about Madison for the past 11 years has been very much in a ~diary~ style - more or less stream of consciousness and told in the first person, with varying tenses depending on the nature of the diary entry.

i don’t really do any sort of planning or mapping. madison’s life just kinda unfolds, and i document it for him, and it isn’t always in chronological order, his narrations aren’t always reliable, and i’m pretty much never aware of any foreshadowing or allusions or allegories as i’m writing them, even though they’re definitely present.

the bit i was just writing captured my attention bc of the things that just sort of uncovered themselves after i was writing it.

madison is 26. his mom died from breast cancer when he was nearly 19. they had a hella sad relationship for many reasons, the majority of which had to do with his mom’s failure to protect him from abuses acted out upon him by his much older brother, and their dad (who wasn’t actually madison’s biological dad). the whole truth of the matter was that the dad was a whole grown man, like 27, when he began a predatory relationship with madison’s mom, who was only around 14. his family owned the business that employed madison’s mom’s parents, and so they were kind of manipulated/extorted into allowing this creep to make off with their daughter. he moved her away, knocked her up, married her, and pretty much just kept her as a pet and was decidedly Very Bad to her.

madison didn’t grow up knowing about any of that and pretty much always viewed his mom as a stupid, selfish woman who didn’t care enough about her own children to get them away from an abusive spouse. for most of his life he tried hard to earn his mom’s love, but gave up in his mid-late teens and decided to just hate her, and make sure she knew he hated her.

then she gets ill, and pretty much from the onset, it’s clear she’s not gonna live much longer. she tries to make amends with madison - tries to apologize for things and whatnot. answers some questions that he deserved to have answered. but he wouldn’t forgive her, and stayed angry, and made sure she knew he would always be angry, and those were the circumstances she died in.

then he kinda lost his mind and went awol for a few years before resurfacing.

madison had always been one of those reckless types who doesn’t really actively try to hurt himself, but he’ll let himself get into situations where there’s an above average chance that he’ll be hurt or even end up dead. and so, that’s the lifestyle he dove into when he ran off. but shit got a bit more real than he anticipated and suddenly he realizes - wait, i’m gonna have the rest of forever to be dead, im not so sure i’m okay with not being alive so soon.

but by the time he had that change of heart, he was in way too deep in some really perilous shit and he spends the next two years fighting to keep his head above water long enough to get out of the shit he was in.

So, he finally turns up back home like a coughed up furball on his best friend’s/ex lover’s doorstep, and he confronts all the wreckage he left behind, and then also has to deal with the fact that after everyone he left behind cleaned up all that wreckage, they all thrived in his absence. they’d all been struggling in a similar manner to him before, but once he was gone, they got carreers, they reached goals, they made enjoyable lives for themselves. And he’s stuck grappling with the fact that maybe he was the one holding them all back all those years.

in the midst of all this, he’s sick. like, physically ill with Something. and he’s terrified to see a doctor because, remember, he FINALLY wants to live, genuinely wants to be ALIVE, and now he’s scared he might have a life threatening health issue, and he’s too scared to find out for sure.

and as he begins the process of unpacking all these horrible feelings that made him build such a shitty life for himself, he kinda realizes that it all goes back to his determination to Stay Angry and Stay Hurt. Like. He went out of his way to avoid any form of closure or release because I guess he kinda felt entitled to his anger.

so, slowly, he starts kinda going back through time and walking through the things and people and places that shaped the person he chose to become. he breaks into visits his childhood home. his brother died by suicide when madison was 16, and so he couldn’t confront him about a painful secret they shared, so instead he confides that secret secret in the one friend he knows might understand the impact it had on him.

his mom is dead, too, so he can’t change anything with her, but his mom’s sister still lives in boston, so he goes to visit her.

that visit is the thing i was writing about earlier today.

the aunt was about 8 years old when madison’s mom, at 14, ran off with the man she ran off with. but over the years, the sisters still managed to keep in touch, and madison’s mom told her a lot about what life was like with her husband and two sons.

so, madison hears a lot of stories from the aunt. learns for the first time that his mom was just a kid when she was basically taken captive by an abusive grown man. learns how she met his biological father, learns that she’d intended to leave her husband and move to south africa to be with madison’s real dad, and learns that she abandoned that plan in fear after her husband discovered she was pregnant and assumed the baby was his.

that ~painful secret~ between madison and his brother is the fact that the brother, 17 years madison’s senior, sexually abused him a few times. (on the final time, the dad caught them, and proceeded to abuse him as well on just one occasion, but that detail isn’t super relevant here).

at some point after the abuse, madison overheard his mom on the phone telling someone that she “hopes he doesn’t end up queer, because I think [older son] might have messed with him.”

madison discovers that the person she was talking to was his aunt.

and he’s immediately livid and heartbroken and let down to know that she didn’t try to intervene in any way.

and she’s sorry, she’s remorseful, she’s been ahsamed for years and she wants to do her part to help madison be able to live a happy, healthy life.

so, there’s a moment in madison’s internal dialogue where he’s realizing that he actually believes her when she says she’s sorry.

and then there’s this bit that kinda shook me when i read it back to myself:

If my mom hadn’t died when she died, I don’t think I would have believed Aunt Carol. I think I would have been happy to just give her the finger like I did with mom. But now I have to live with that choice, and I hate it. I’m never going to be someone whose mother didn’t die believing I would never, ever forgive her. And I think, at least, that the one silver lining in it is that the part of me that was capable of holding on to that kind of grief and contempt died with her.

So, I believe Aunt Carol. I believe she’s sorry, and that she would have done better if she’d known better, as the proverb goes.

it’s this moment where he has an opportunity to sort of vicariously fix things with his mom. he gets to experience what it might have been like if both he and his mom had been emotionally healthy enough to make better choices. He can’t actually change what happened, but he has the privilege now of knowing that he has the capacity to be someone who can forgive someone who loved him for doing something horrible to him. he gets to understand, finally, that forgiveness has shit all to do with absolving someone of their sins, and has everything to do with releasing oneself from the burden of contempt.

he figures out: yeah, he’s entitled to his anger, but he also deserves to not be angry. he has the right to stay angry at his mom for failing him so miserably, but he deserves to live without that anger.

and i just!!!!! absollutely did not actually think through any of that. like. that wasn’t my intended point of this whole scene where Madison visits his aunt. All I really meant to do was just document this event in his life, but wooooow.

Look where it took me.

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exploring-anne · 7 years

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Anne - S1 - Episode 1

“Your will shall decide your destiny”

An exploration of the first episode of Anne the Series (aka ‘Anne with an E’). This episode is such a wonderful introduction to the characters and setting of the re-imagined Anne of Green Gables. Unique in tone and rich in nuance. It provides so many layers for fans to discuss! Click the ‘Read More’ link to head into spoiler territory...

Visual Storytelling

When discovering the world of Anne the Series, one thing I love is how much subtext is going on visually within each scene. This is quite purposeful, as expressed by the showrunner, Moira Walley-Beckett. She notes that she’s always asking herself - ‘What’s the first image? What’s the first image of any scene?’

You can see that in our introductions to each of the principle characters. Through visuals, music and body-language, there’s a lot we’re learning about them, even before they speak a word. To illustrate...

Anne Shirley (Amybeth McNulty)

In the first scene where Anne is presented, we the viewer are looking out of a train window. As some pretty nature scenery rushes by, a reflection starts to flicker in the glass - and we get a pretty, ghostly image of Anne herself. With Amybeth McNulty looking thoughtful, lovely and otherwordly.

In essence, we as an audience are seeing Anne’s reflection through our vantage point. Symbolizing that we’re watching the scene through her eyes, and that we’re in her head.

Note also how her reflection is super-imposed over a set of trees - a recurring theme throughout the show, where Anne’s personality and image is inherently intertwined with the natural world.

The music in the background is sweet, hopeful, adventurous and melodic. But as Anne hears a baby start crying, the notes of the melody start to fracture and become discordant. And as Anne starts showing increasing hints of anxiety, we’re plunged into the dark tones of an unsettling flashback.

That clever use of music serves as a nice metaphor for this version of Anne’s character - i.e., she’s a charming, optimistic melody... but if you listen carefully enough, you’ll hear her fractured, broken notes.

Marilla Cuthbert (Geraldine James)

In our first glance at Marilla, we see her hands meticulously setting a table. The way she places each object is careful, orderly and precise.

And when the camera shows Marilla herself, she also smooths out her dress. There’s hints at an almost neurotic perfectionism in her body language and her actions. Everything has its place and everything needs to be arranged in a certain fashion, and for Marilla that provides a sense of comfort. A sense of order is important to Marilla, as hinted at in these scenes.

We as an audience know that Anne’s introduction is going to be a big shakeup to the clockwork nature of Marilla’s world. So this first glimpse at her gives us some sympathy into the fact that she’s not used to anything and anyone that is outside of a usual routine. And its not something she’ll be able to adapt to instantaneously.

Matthew Cuthbert (RH Thomson)

In our first glance at Matthew (ignoring the opening scene which is technically a ‘flash-forward’), we see him sitting in a doorway, polishing a boot.

An important clever detail is that while he’s wearing a nice outfit, he’s still wearing one Workman’s boot, while doing so. And that boot is a clever parallel of who Matthew is at his core - weather-worn, covered in dirt, showing some age, and accustomed to labor.

While Marilla is going into a long almost anxious monologue about their choice to adopt an orphan, Matthew is quietly and efficiently focusing on his boot. Finding solace in down-to-Earth tasks.

But just because he’s not speaking doesn’t mean he’s not listening. There’s that old analogy of ‘still waters run deep’. And you can see emotions flickering into play behind his quiet eyes.

The core three characters...

As noted above, there’s a lot of care taken in the characterization of Anne, Marilla and Matthew. Even though the show is named ‘Anne’, the producers, (Moira and Miranda) note that this is really a show about this trio of people... 'Anne is about the lives of these three people and how they impact each other. And how they grow, and how they blossom.'

The lovely thing about the show is that it’s not just Anne who’s an outsider - in their own ways, each of the three core characters are awkward misfits, with frailties and challenges - and you sense that they can help one another grow beyond who they currently are. For example...

Marilla is someone who feels things deeply, but hides those emotions expertly. She’s protective of her inner-thoughts, and non-demonstrative in her feelings - but there’s a depth of care beneath her emotional armor.

Contrast that with Anne, who also feels things deeply but expresses them readily and doesn’t know how to self edit. Each of them start at different ends of the spectrum, and have the potential to provide one another with some balance.

Matthew is someone who is not just quiet, but comes across as painfully and pathologically shy. Gentle and sympathetic but unable to express those sentiments via his words. Contrasted with Anne who can’t help but nervously chat about all the things that capture her imagination.

The lovely thing for Matthew is I suspect that when most people talk to him, his quiet nature leads to awkward silence, which leads to him feeling even more out of place and self conscious.

But with Anne, she just happily chats at him, rapid-fire, without judging or without expecting him to hold up his end of the conversation. Her innocent banter starts to feel natural and he ‘doesn’t mind the conversation’.

Between the two of them, they can also learn from one another - when to be quiet if the moment requires it, and when to speak up for the things you love.

I could happily go into more detail as there’s a lot of great food for thought with this charming found family unit. But I love the sense that Anne is a jigsaw puzzle piece that will let all three of them feel a bit more whole. All three are slightly broken people who can be potentially mended through their care for one another. And the first episode lays a lot of poignant groundwork for three intertwined character arcs.

Interlude...

As you can probably tell, my episode explorations are going to be less about episode recaps and more about my stream of consciousness thoughts, feelings and observations. I figure there a lot of places to get a blow-by-blow synopsis of what happened. This is more a chance to delve into reactions and analyses. On that note, here’s some quick gut-instinct categorizations... Hearting-Breaking Moments

The flashbacks to Anne’s mistreatment and abuse are emotionally piercing and rather heart-rending. Filmed in cold, stark colors and full of little wistful nuances.

e.g., Anne loves trees and thinks of them as friends - so Mr Hammond whipping her atop a tree-stump (i.e, a dead tree) is a poignant symbolism. And him suffering a heart-attack is interesting foreshadowing. A would-be father figure succumbing to heart-troubles? In this case the death is a blessing. In the future, a curse.

“I might have known no-one would really want me”. Amybeth has to express sorrow and despair in several scenes in this episode, and for me it was a tear-jerker each time. Her dawning realization that the Cuthberts wanted a boy. The sorrow of spending a night in a place, knowing it may be your last. The creeping horror of being judged for something you didn’t actually do. Her acting in each scene is subtly different to adapt to the context, yet affecting each time. This young lady is a remarkable talent <3

Comedic Moments

From Anne overthinking the proper way to pray, to her waxing poetical about puffed sleeves, it’s funny and endearing to see little glimmers where Marilla is being won over in spite of herself. It’s an important part of Anne’s character that she has such buoyant enthusiasm and that her enthusiasm is infectious.

Rachel Lynde is a hoot throughout, with her nosy nature and talent for hyperbole. When Anne gives her over-dramatic apology and she and Marilla share knowing glances with one another. And when Anne carefully tip-toes away with a body language of ‘I can’t believe that worked’. One of many cute scenes :)

The introduction of the rivalry between the Cuthbert’s hired hand, Jerry Baynard (Aymeric Jett Montaz) and Anne. Coming from an orphanage, it makes sense that Anne would view other kids as potential competitors to would-be parents. And the comedic chemistry between the two actors pays off in future episodes.

Heart-Warming Moments

Ack, so many moments between Anne and Matthew! Which makes sense as he’s the first person to warm to her and to defend her. Seeing him nervously vocalize on her behalf and refer to her as an ‘interesting little thing’ are endearing - because you can tell Matthew is way out of his comfort zone but is pushing himself forward for her sake.

And Anne reciprocates that warmth in many lovely moments. Matthew is so unaccustomed to displays of affection and looks so surprised and appreciative when Anne extends one towards him. e.g., the enthusiastic hug she gives him when Marilla is taking her to see Mrs Spencer.

With Marilla, her acceptance of Anne is more of a slow burn. But you can see the frost start to thaw and can’t help but smile when she refuses to leave Anne with that dreadful Blewett lady. There are a lot of subtle moments with Marilla where you see a warmth hiding behind her brusque armor. A slight smile here and there, played subtly and effectively.

After years of neglect, Anne is nervous yet hopeful about actually having a friend. Initially, she assumes she’d have to hide her true self for Diana Berry to actually like her, so its endearing to see Diana so charmed by Anne’s enthusiastic displays of imagination.

In conclusion..

Truth be told, I could ramble even more about this episode. That’s the mark of a good show - one that sticks with you, and creeps its way into your mind, asking to be pondered upon. So don’t hesitate to leave me a comment if you have things you want to discuss! The Anne the Series fandom is growing and full of insightful, thoughtful commentary. I’ve enjoyed reading so many of those thoughts! Make sure to check the ‘Anne the Series’ tag here on Tumblr to find those discussions. Thanks for reading! See you in my Episode 2 exploration! <3

#Anne the Series #Anne with an E #anne of green gables #Episodes #amybeth mcnulty #moira walley-beckett #AoGG #Matthew Cuthburt #marilla cuthbert #anne shirley #RH Thomson #Characters #imagery

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humanoid-lovers · 7 years

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Absolutely Delightful I love Greg Proops. I find his podcast to be entertaining witty and humane. He is the antidote to the crass ramblings of Carolla and his ilk. Go to Amazon

Lives up to its title. Mr. Proops had already thoroughly won my fanship with his addictive, delightful, uniquely informative and always entertaining podcast. So naturally I couldn't wait to read this book. Well, it surpassed my expectations. Greg is truly a learned man with a gift for making the arcane fascinating and immediately accessible. I learned some lessons about history, art, and the scope of American thought that were viscerally moving and which I won't soon forget. This book really made me love him and I plan to buy it in hardcover (in addition to the e-book I already own) because it is that much of a treasure. It merits re-reading, reading aloud, referencing, quoting, and memorizing. I hope you like it as much as I did. Love live the PROOPS!!! Go to Amazon

A Must-Buy for Fans of the Proopcast Fans of Proops will be delighted by the book, despite many of the ideas and subjects having already been tackled on the excellent podcast (The Smartest Man in the World, which inspired this book). Proops' style is conversational, though more elegant than the podcast, since he is a writer and quite a good one (one can imagine Proops is actually a BETTER writer than this, but the encyclopedic nature of the book most likely led to some intense cutting, leaving mostly essential info and jokes). Go to Amazon

Fancy Yourself Eloquent? A Sophisticate? A Member of the Cultural Literati? You'll Like This. This book truly lives up to its name, and makes no apologies for treating its readers as literate adults. It is full of Proops' trademark wit and rapid-fire pop cultural references, but more importantly it serves as an introduction to things of which the reader may not have been aware (I'm thinking of the section describing classic movies that have incredible stories behind them - found some gems in there). Go to Amazon

If you like his podcast you'll probably like this book Greg Proops is extremely funny, but he also mixes in history, politics, social awareness issues, etc. If you listen to his podcast and enjoy it, you'll probably like this book. It's a grab bag of various topics from history to baseball to music to movies. An easy read and tremendously enjoyable. Go to Amazon

Mental calisthenics...quick and (relatively) painless. I have a soft spot for Proops because I like his podcasts and enjoy listening to his his flowing voice and accuracy in capturing my exact thoughts on the mundane and the subtle. I will always be amazed at his stream of consciousness. It is a compliment when I say this book is great bathroom reading in that his topics are usually short and thought provoking. You may not always agree with him, but you cannot deny his approach and logic. When you walk out of the Democratic voting booth (your lavatory) you WILL continue a conversation with Mr. Proops (with his voice in your head) and enjoy the mental calisthenics he inspires. Great fun. Go to Amazon

Must have for fans of the podcast Rehashes a lot of themes common to Mr. Proops' podcast, The Smartest Man in the World, but goes a bit deeper into the subject matter. His enthusiasm for the subject matter oozes from every page. Definitely a must-own for fans of the show. For those not familiar with the podcast, there is a lot of discussion of classic movies, baseball history, poetry, and interesting takes on historical figures, all told with Mr. Proops' distinct voice. As a fan of the show, I find this book interesting to read in segments, but don't find myself compelled to devour large amounts in one sitting. Overall, it's an interesting take on Americana from a talented improviser and comedian who obviously cares deeply about the subjects on which he pontificates. Go to Amazon

you'll love this book If you are a regular listener to Greg's ProopCast, you'll love this book. It's like text manifestation of his podcast, but in more detail, and as always, Greg is impeccably entertaining. You will NOT find any explanation points. Jennifer's sketches are cute, too. You can expect some laughs, keen use of Proopish-vocabulary, and occasional doses of "boring preachy parts." I would recommend this book so long as you have a good sense of humor, an open mind, and enjoy vodka flavored vodka. Well done Greg. Go to Amazon

Light entertaintment Proops Sheesh. So what? A fair read at best with a few interesting bits of information. Unless you are a fan of the author, pass this volume up. Sooooo disappointed I love Greg and his book is awesome concise segmentation makes it perfect for keeping on the toilet to read whilst prooping Three Stars Five Stars Interesting, little known facts.

#A Concise Curriculum of Cool: Greg Proops: 9781476747040: Amazon.com: Books

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disarmingly · 7 years

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fanfic asks (part 1 is here! feel free to send the other numbers tho at this point i lost track im sorry lmfdslfjdskfdskfdlsjl)

2 [ things that motivate you ]

i think this is likely true of most people who make things for public consumption and that's honestly…when people respond to something we make? whether it's a comment or the notes on your bookmark or a message or an ask or a dm on twitter or anything just saying 'hey i read this i liked it' or something in the same vein (more or less a nice thing is a nice thing!) i touched on this with the last set in number 27's answer on the last set.... where i refer to kindnesses as a currency. to be clearer, i write fic to explore ideas for personalities i am already in love with whether characters from an era or canon images or, more likely, a hybridization of the two (plus extrapolations) and also stories/theories that appeal to me but also MEAN a lot to me and in doing so i hope will mean something to others. i write it to connect (i am a broken record but it's what it is isn't it ^^) and sort of see if the way that i think and process can in fact be translated to other people. to see that it can, here and there, is immeasurably important to me.

i have always wanted to be one of those people who can self-motivate but i find more and more that the truth is i very much look to other peoples' approval and responses, and perhaps that will always be the case, which i suppose means i have to just keep working harder and honing the art as best i can -- give or take. i hold comments close, asks, messages, all of that. i screencap them because i'm afraid the eternal internet will fail me ^^;;; and sometimes people remove t hei r bookmarks or whatnot so like…um i'm glad i screencapped them ^^;;; and there was one twitter convo where the nice thing they said was so far back i couldn't see it anymore ;_; so lol i'm glad i screencapped that too….a-and now u all know i am crazy T////T hahikesduiojklefdsiojk OTL s-seriously though. have i said before i think sometimes people have a natural baseline? i said it in 'below zero' but outside of that i mean…so a good thing a tangible thing when i am below zero (often) ends up being…many things to me. i'm grateful even if i fail to fully harness people's generosity to the extent i ought to.

5 [ since how long do you write? ]

mmm…since i stopped drawing entirely so like hum… /squints/ /rubs chin/ /rubs head/ ahhh like i guess i really started wholly focusing and shifted from visual to verbal in my last year of middle school! ^^;;/ but i wrote fiction primarily at the time because i had a dream of writing a book that would stay with people the way my favorite books have stayed with me. weirdly i am only now able to write narrative for fanfic and otherwise all my original writing is poetry…which is significantly less relatable for people and has such an unforgiving set of standards that i mostly have lost hope for making my way in that area, though i still produce material.

9 [ do you set yourself deadlines? ]

mmm not hard deadlines. i can't trick myself that way per se. but i can trick myself by being like mini deadlines so a paragraph a morning or something of that ilk? i'm very flow-by-flow so hard deadlines are just lolololololol however, i do have friends who work very well within the stricter parameters of a due date; basically your mileage may vary, but for me it works best to say: try to have something complete by the end of a 30 day period, and then to adjust along the way i.e. i clearly won't have this done by 30 days at least get the first draft done. etc. OTL i'm so wishy washy ;_;

36 [ one-shot or multi-chaptered story? ]

NERVOUS LAUGHTER RUBS MY EYES uiojrlekfsdiok i do better when i do one-shots i am like shudders at my multi-chapter ideas but fall down lightly began more as a vignette series and oops got a narrative in real time my MISTAKE because i know everything that happens but have basically made myself so nervous about it i've been staring at the next real chapter for five thousand years. it just doesn't seem good enough ;_; lololol so for the sake of not releasing something that is a waste of time for other people to look at i….haven't. it's a verse i love and i want to complete because I KNOW HOW IT ENDS LMFALKFJD and even what happens along the way but like lololol /stares at my hands unhappily/ ljldskjfs ah well anyway though one-shot i do trust myself more with. because when it's done/posted? it's done. barring revisions ^^;; (and typos T_T;;;)

39 [ do you want to be published some day? ]

the dream ;_; ah. i don't delude myself thinking i could ever make money doing what is most important to me…poetry is not largely a money making facet of the writing industry and even the ones that are real jobs aren't very um…whatchacallit um……huh….productive money wise? not that that should be my focus but i always dreamt if i made a lot of money i could give people lots of things and stuff…which…i always wanted to do…

._.;;; i digress. but like to get poetry published would be nice. to be accepted a little in that way would be nice. but even honestly if i started releasing it online and people liked it that would be enough for me at this point. i had a teacher who once said to me: your real strength lies in essay writing, you should change your track. and it has been hurting me ever since haha. i don't like writing essays. i HATE it. same goes for journalism. all of which i avoided despite being told 'it's what you're good at'….i …is it weird to say poetry is what i love even if i don't love my own writing? i want my writing to be better and i'll try to keep doing it regardless but that really…ah it's funny how one thing can be a shadow isn't it? long answer OTL I apologize ;_; but like…so yes. i would love it. it feels impossible but … it would be….it would be nice.

42 [ do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind? ]

i do both. it depends on the story. sometimes it is literally both for one story and sometimes i run out the gate with the exactitudes and it is what i think it will be (mostly). save me was a combination. follow was precisely as i planned it and so was sidereal. fall down lightly i know the exacts of what happens but not how i want to convey them so there's that. this time around i knew exactly. time and again i had all down in notes so i do know what happens but again not how i verbalize. call and answer was PAINSTAKINGLY planned help me lmdlskfdsj…..as was so far away. dearly beloved was a moment, begin was inspired and stream of consciousness -- as was one thing and balancing act. ;; i'm not very one or the other i suppose…. T////T

44 [ do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it? ]

like 42 i am both. it depends. i wrote save me as you read it but i literally hop around time within it so i'm not sure if question means that or if i write it all out linearly first??? in which case no??? but only because weirdly if i plan to hop around in time for a story it's best if i do so in real-time as i write it or i lose the rhythm i wanted to actualize for the story's feeling and resolution/end-point. i have notes all of the time too about things i haven't paragraphed out so like…if that is part of the answer….

47 [ how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time? ]

o_o;;;; w-well my drafts folder is divided into two parts -- one is complete drafts that need looking at again and one is unfinished works entirely, if you want the final headcount of both it's lolololol

rest in pieces me….

._. nowaskmehowmanyaresugakookie lmfdslkjfs no don't. mostofthem. andsomenamkook. lolololol…….helpme…

as with the first asks, thank you for reading. thanks for talking to me and taking an interest. i feel boring and anxious and very sporadic and like too weird/???? like really awkward lame???? but i do like talking about writing...even if i feel...also rambling rambling rambling.....granted these were shorter bc i wanted to do them before i had to run ^^;;; if any of them need elaboration i can be clearer!!! a-anyway /shoves paper bag over my own head/ …./w-waves gratefully as scurries to the train!!!!…..

also gosh i might've taken too long but …butterfly anon….your message…has been helping me survive this week…ah…i replied longer to your message in a previous post but like.../mentions again…. T_T;;; it's been really….hard…haha…so thank you t_t

#fanfic asks #asks #haku shut up #fic asks #sdkljfkldsf sdkljfdsjflds ahhhh #;;#someday i will be better #ihope

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obscurused-blog · 7 years

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directorgraves submitted:

In the parcel that he had given Lysander to deliver were two things: seven hundred dollars in cash and a letter, carefully addressed and magically sealed, so only the hand of Credence Barebone could open it. A valuable package, but the most valuable part of it by Percy’s estimation was the letter itself, which began:

My dear Credence,

This is not the easiest letter to write. At last count, I have ruined three pen nibs and more paper than I dare mention trying to write it properly, and still I am unsure if it is right this time around. I suppose it is right enough, it is at the very least satisfactory, but I am stalling, and that is unacceptable in this situation. Let me establish one thing, one solid fact from which I work from when trying to make sense of the past several months: the last time that I saw you (I, not someone else wearing my face, my life, my everything), was at the prayer meeting in early September. I asked you what you thought about the possibility of redemption in this life of the next, and you told me that you weren’t sure, but that all things were possible with enough faith. I am not a man of faith, Credence. My mother tried to instill some of hers in me, but it never quite took root. You must deal in sureties alone in my line of work, not hopes, but my dear boy, if there is anything that I hope for in this life it is that one day I will be able to speak to you again, to try to explain where I ended and Grindelwald began. I hope, but I realize that you do not owe me that kindness, not after what has been done in my name, with my face.

I would like to repeat that, for it bears repetition after what has been done to you, Credence: you do not owe me anything, not kindness, not anything at all. You don’t even owe me the effort of reading this letter, but I will write it all the same. Here is what I remember, once I left the church that night: he stepped out of the shadows, while my back was turned, while I was mulling over our conversation in my head. You do not know much of the wizarding world and I do not wish to seem prideful, but I am good at what I do, and even so, I hit the ground before I could even think to raise a hand against him. To call him a man makes too much of his humanity, this Grindelwald. At the core he is more of an animal, primal and greedy like the most dangerous of predators, and like them he seeks the means to cause as much destruction towards his own gain as possible. You were the tool that he chose, Credence, and I am sorry for that, more than you may ever know. What I should have done that night was push my plans several steps ahead, I should have offered you sanctuary from your damnable mother as I had planned, and your youngest sister as well. It wasn’t cowardice that stayed my hand, but the foolish thought that I was safe enough to put my plan into action at my own pace.

That is the folly of the confident, you see. I assumed that I would have time to get to know you, that I could convince you to step away from your mother and her violence and into the world that you belonged to, and I was so very wrong. You will read in the papers that when they found me I was beaten, that I was ‘clinging to life’, as the Ghost so politely put it, but my dear boy, I would have willingly suffered that pain ten times over to prevent what happened to you in December. That sounds wrong coming from a man that you do not truly know, and believe me, I realize that even as I write this letter. I don’t know you, Credence. Not like I wish I could have known you by now, and perhaps I never will. But I do know that you do not deserve the pain that Grindelwald caused you, that your mother inflicted upon you, that anyone has thrown your way for being ‘different’ over the years. I do not know the full extent of what he did to you wearing my face, nor do I know for sure what your mother used to do to you, but I wish like hell that I could have prevented it, as meaningless as those words sound coming from me.

How do you make amends for something that you did not actually do, Credence? That is what I want to know, after all of this. I do not discount the pain that he inflicted upon you, but I do not know how to ease those hurts, and I wish with all of my heart that I could. Perhaps if I had fought him harder, if I had let him kill me as he threatened to do a thousand times over, none of this would have transpired. That is a thought that I still cannot banish, and yet I know that if I had, he would have done something far worse to you, to the city, and to the world. I do not fancy myself a hero, Credence. I am nothing of the sort, no more noble than any other man, but I wonder sometimes if I did enough, chained to that cellar wall. My boy, you may wish to throw this letter away, to burn it and never hear another word from me so long as you live. You have that right in spades, and I will not judge you for it. I hope that life is as long and happy as you truly deserve, and towards that end, I have enclosed some money to help you get a start upon doing so. But if you do wish to grant me the inestimably great honor of allowing me to speak to you again, there is an address written at the bottom of this letter where you may find me. I wish you all the best, Credence, and nothing less than that. Nothing less.

Your fondest well-wisher, Percival Aurelius Graves

Lysander was a bit of a strange sort. He had never met someone like that before, someone that seemed so carefree and just genuinely happy to assist someone else. Credence had not meant to go back to the shop after he got caught that first time, and yet he always found himself there when things were getting decidedly desperate. He wasn't keen on accepting the other man's charity, but when you haven't eaten for two days, you accept all sorts of offers. There had been a difference to him though, when he had visited Lysander today. There was a subdued atmosphere about him, almost some kind of restraint. His words weren't as rambling and nonchalant, they had been careful.

And now here he was with a parcel in his possession, handed on to him by the apprentice.

He still hadn't dared to open it. 'It’s from a good friend of mine, kid. A good guy, he wanted me to pass this on to you.’ It had been an instant refusal, naturally. But Lysander had insisted, promises of explanations inside, of assistance. 'We just want to help you out, that's all. Please. It's alright, I promise.’ Something about him was earnest and honest and that was the only reason that he had agreed to take the package, practically ran off with it. It sat in front of him, still wrapped, paper and string in tact. Had he always been this apprehensive? A stupid question, he knew very well that he had.

Credence sighed.

He was going to get nowhere at all if he simply left it as it was. With trepidation, he loosened the string and carefully peeled back the paper. What fell into his lap was almost enough to give him a heart attack. He'd never seen so much money in his life! His first, immediate thought, was perhaps it had been stolen and passed onto him as a way of getting rid of it. Panic was on the verge of setting in before he remembered who gave it to him. Lysander was maybe many things he didn't know, but he couldn't imagine the man to be a thief. Something had fallen to the side of him, a few bills that had escaped the clip? He spotted it in the gloom of the abandoned cellar and picked it up. A letter.

An explanation.

Or so he hoped. He had been promised. Wrapping the money back up in the paper, he tucked it under a nearby box for safety. Then carefully opened up the letter to read it. Then he read it through once more. And a third time. He lowered it after that, resting hands in his lap. He had come to know of the existence of the true Mr. Graves back in New York, and he had learnt through various collected articles what had happened to him. He was certain he had even seen him, at least once or twice. But he had never thought he would have received any word from the man. This was the identity of Lysander's ‘good friend’, as it were? What were the chances? Such a small world for such a big city.

Lifting a quivering hand, he touched fingertips to the name at the top of the first page. My dear Credence. He had never before seen his name spelt in such a fine script, nor written with such finesse. The handwriting curled elegantly, letters decorated with loops and flicks and trailing tails. It was different from the handwriting that had belonged to the Mr. Graves that he had become accustomed with. That had been smaller, scratchier, written without care on whatever scrap had been closest. And he had cared about them all the same. He shook his head - he wasn't supposed to be sparing that man any more of his thoughts.

This read less like an explanation and more of an apology. It was forward and direct, yet sincere and… Emotional? Could he say such a thing? There was structure to it, he was certain, but at points… It seemed to give way to streams of consciousness, words that were written before they had been considered, perhaps. Or maybe he was simply reading too many things into it. He had never received such a thing before, what would he know? Assumptions were terrible things, he shouldn't make them, he knew that. Though was that not what a gut feeling was, at the end of the day? Instinct?

Though what would he know of that, either.

The gift though. What was he supposed to do about that? It was so much money, could the man afford such a thing? It was too much, far too much. A small gesture would have been more than enough, maybe even something he could accept but… Did Mr. Graves really wish to help him? Or was it more of an attempt to assuage his guilt? Though that was perhaps what confused him the most in this letter… The man had no reason to feel guilt. He proposed so himself; how indeed does a man make amends for something that he didn't do? Surely, such a man should be free of blame. There was only one man at fault, and it wasn't this one.

Throw away the letter, burn it… As if he could.

Folding the letter in half, Credence tucked it into a pocket, making sure it was held securely. He would have to go and see the man. He had thought about it before, crossing the road, approaching him. But what would he have said? More so, how did he know they weren't really looking for him? This could easily be a ruse, a trap. Lure him out… But it didn't feel that way. An expert in thought and feeling he was not, but all the same… This was, for the moment, all he had. And if he was to be caught and punished, then it was deserved. The things he had done… He couldn't run forever. Resolved, he nodded.

Next week. He'd visit him next week.

#[throws this and scarpers]#[fun fact; the letter was 1009 words & the reply was 1010]#[did I find that satisfying? incredibly]#[I have no tags ready for this yet RIP]#Percy G #[not that Credence ever would call him that but it stops it appearing in any kind of search tag right? orz]#[im fretting I am not good at sharing I'M GONE OKAY i'll reply to the other thing after dinner alright]#submission

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