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exhaslo · 7 months

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Kinktober Day 8- Reno x Bullied! Reader

The Bookkeeping department; always forgotten by the other branches of Shinra. It was hilarious with how bad the Bookkeeping department was treated since it was the only thing helping Shinra run. If it weren't for this department then nothing would run in this damn city. Bookkeeping was so important; yet you felt like it was just an excuse to get yelled out by everyone.

You tried your best to work quietly in your little cubicle. Most of your coworkers kept to themselves, it was just your boss and her little group that harassed you. All for something so dumb. You were being bullied just because you were friends with some of the Turks. More specifically Reno. You and Reno had been friends since you started working at Shinra. It wasn't like you planned on it, he was the one who kept approaching you.

Hearing the loud clicks of heels, you flinched and quickly lowered your head. Your (e/c) orbs trying to find something on your computer important enough to distract you.

"Files these in alphabetical order," Your boss said as she and her groupies threw a pile of folders on your desk. Your eyes widen,

"T-This will take me all day! I have to submit last month's Turk expens-"

"Sounds like you're pulling overtime then."

Your heart sank as you watched your horrible boss leave. No one ever offered to help. No one ever tried to stop her. You were just trapped in a cycle of pain and misery. The amount of times that you went home late or skipped meals because of work was starting to take a toll on your body.

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"Hiya, (y/n), how's it going on those reports?" Reno asked you, stopping by your cubicle during lunch, "Hm? Where's your food?"

"Can't eat. I have to work on all this paperwork...Hopefully, I have your reports done by the end of the day." You replied lowly. Reno glanced at your desk before looking around the large office,

"Everyone else is on lunch, but you."

"I was given extra work."

"Again?" He jumped over the cubicle, standing beside you now, "Why don't we go on vacation?" He offered. You could only glance up at him, forcing a smile,

"I can't afford to go on vacation. My hours haven't registered...So I can't..."

"Well judging by the bags under your eyes, you're all packed up and ready to go."

Your lips rolled up into a smile as you laughed at him. Reno rubbed your head, enjoying the smile he finally brought to your face. He eyed the paperwork once more. Only you had to deal with all this shit. The hardest worker in this department, which was why he and Tseng trusted you to do the Turks finances. Upon hearing laugher, Reno furrowed his brows as he watched the Bookkeeping head-your boss, enter with most of the other workers.

"Oh! Reno! What a surprise!" She said with a high chirp. Reno ruffled your hair,

"I'll stop by later," He whispered to you before walking by the others, "Just checking on reports. Keep up the good work."

You watched in awe as Reno cheerfully left with everyone in awe before him. He was so charming. If only you had the courage to tell him to find someone else to hang out with. You loved Reno, but he was the reason you were being bullied. Gripping one of the folders in your hand, you watched as your boss gave you a glare. There it was. You were not going home tonight. You just knew it.

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Your body leaned forward towards your desk as you tried to stay awake. It was reaching nine at night and you had finally finished organizing the paperwork your boss gave you. Now you just had to finish the finance report for the Turks. Your stomach growled, causing you to curl in pain. You had skipped lunch and when you were going to eat your lunch for dinner, it was soaked. You were starving, tired and ready to cry.

"Thought you'd still be here." Reno whispered as he appeared behind you. Your head leaned back, resting against his chest,

"Reno?"

"Who else?" Reno noticed your computer, "Meh, that paperwork can be turned in tomorrow. C'mon, let's go."

"I can't. Tseng trusted-"

"And I told Tseng that you got caught up with last minute paperwork,"

Before you could protest, Reno lifted you up from your seat. You complained quietly as he dragged you farther away from your desk. Reno just chuckled lowly to himself. Finally, you gave into him and followed to where he was taking you. Your eyes widen as Reno took you to your supervisor's office, which was a floor right above everyone's. It was perfectly placed to watch everyone at their desks. You were confused and tried to get his attention.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Reno smirked as he opened the door to the office, "Oh, how fancy! This will do nicely!"

"Reno! What are we doing here?" You asked.

Reno took you to the desk, clearing it off. He plopped you down, fixing the strands of hair on your face. Your cheeks started to burn as he stared directly into your eyes.

"Getting revenge on your shitty boss." He said with a smirk, leaning forward to kiss you, "Can't directly do anything to her yet, so why don't we have some fun instead?"

"Ah-Yet? Reno-"

You were at a loss for words. You weren't sure if you should bring up the kiss or his comment first. Reno kissed you again before you can try and formulate the thought. His hands stroking down your side. This was not happening. It couldn't be. You would have never thought that Reno's touch would be so gentle. So forward. Pressing your chest against his, you melted into his kiss. You had been dreaming of this.

You parted your lips to breathe, but were caught by Reno once more. He spread your legs out, allowing him to lean into your body against the desk. You felt him slowly rub against your clothed cunt. Your body was starting to feel warm as the friction continued. Reno smiled into his kisses, his hands undoing each of your buttons of your shirt.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Such a cute bra you got on." His smirk only widen. You bit your lower lip,

"Reno...Do you like me? I, um..." You felt hesitant, "Is it okay for me to like you?" Your question made Reno laugh loudly,

"I wouldn't have gotten to know you otherwise. You're just my type and I hate the fact that everyone walks all over you," He undid your bra, soaking in your exposed tits, "But that will end soon enough."

"What do you mean?" You asked, but quickly muffled a moan as he started to play with your breasts. Reno stared into your eyes, loving the new sparkle you had,

"You'll find out soon enough, for now, let's make a mess of this office."

You gasped as Reno took one of your nipples in his mouth. You arched backwards slightly, trembling from the feeling. Another whiny moan came out as you felt his hands slide under your shorts. His fingers toying with your sensitive bud. Tingles were firing through you body like fireworks. Never had you felt this good. Reno was making you feel so good. Shaking as your body started to burn, you felt a pool of heat forming. It was growing bigger the more he played with your clit.

"Re...Reno," You whimpered, holding onto his head as he went to attack the other nipple.

You legs began to tremble as your pussy started to throb. Reno's fingers worked faster, making that pool of heat growing bigger by the second. Unable to hold out much longer, you cried out as you cam. Reno moved away from your chest, observing your face. You were catching your breathe. Reno could only chuckle as he watched you bite your lip as he dove his fingers into your throbbing hole. He entered two fingers, enjoying you clench onto them.

"Who needs R&R when I got you," Reno said with a grin, enjoying your blissed out face, "Ya know, Rude was placing a bet on you. He wanted to see if you'd make the first move."

"He did?" You asked before moaning once more as he curled his fingers.

"I didn't want him to win that bet," Reno used his other hand to slide you shorts down, "Besides, I don't think I was patient enough to wait for you to tell me you loved me,"

You let out a whine as Reno removed his fingers. He undid his pants and stroked his cock before you. You laid against the desk, spreading you legs out for him. You were glad he decided to win that bet. Who knows when you were ever going to confess to him. You cried out as Reno started to push his cock into your pussy. It hurt at first, but he let you relax to his size once he was all the way in. You felt so full. Every time your pussy throbbed, you squirmed, wanting him to move.

"Now, now," Reno held your waist as he started to thrust his hips into yours, "We need to make a mess here, remember?"

You were a moaning mess as your arms wrapped around Reno's shoulders. He was hitting you just right. His cock thrusting inside your folds with force each time. It sent jolts of pleasure throughout your body. Feeling that pool of heat return, you cried out another orgasm. Reno groaned softly, move you against the desk, dropping some stuff on the floor.

"Your shitty boss won't have any idea that she will be working on a desk covered in your juices," Reno laughed, "She won't know that we fucked in her office at all. Why don't we do it in her fancy chair next?"

"Mhpm, R-Reno~" You moaned as he kept pounding into you, not letting you rest from your high.

"She's got a couch here too. Maybe we can go there tomorrow," He smirked.

Reno let out a small cuss as he felt himself getting close. He kissed you again before pulling out and cumming on your stomach. The two of you went to catch your breathe before Reno sat you up. He fixed your hair once more, taking a good look at your face. Kissing you again, Reno proceeded to fix your clothes.

"But that can wait for tomorrow. One day at a time for revenge, let's go back to my place and eat. I'm starving,"

"I'd like that," You replied, leaning onto him as he lifted you up from the desk, "So...about what you said before?"

"Hm? Oh, nothing much to it. Just going to make you our personal record keeper. We could always use another Turk," He said with a grin, making sure to leave the office door open, "Whoops-"

"Reno!" You huffed as he broke a flower vase that your boss liked, "She's going to know!"

"No she won't. Had the cameras shut off, why else did I fuck you in the office?"

Your face turned bright red as you complained to him. Some friend he was! Unable to stop smiling, you grabbed Reno's hand, intertwining them. Yeah, Reno was a lousy friend, but he'd make a better boyfriend.

#kinktober #reno ff7 #reno of the turks #reno x reader #reno smut

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bonesandthebees · 3 months

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*clears throat*

Anyway…

Things I liked about this chapter in no particular order:

The flashback with Niki and Quackity

Quakcity warning Wilbur about the bandits indirectly, doubles as foreshadowing and a hint that he’s behind it (though let’s be honest, it was probably Schlatt’s idea)

Oh and you should have seen my face when I realised [“Hand him over!”] I swear puzzle pieces have never snapped into place faster in my brain. I literally went “OH FUCK QAUACKITY WHAT DID YOU DO?”

Niki might think that Wilbur is lying again but I don’t have the mental energy to think about that right now for obvious reasons.

I cannot stress enough how much I’m here for this.

The l’manburg backstory. I was trying to put it together and analyse which character’s would be narrative parallels only the realise that it was literal based off of actually canon pogtopia and c!Wilbur and c!Tommy. I love it. Also made me think of Niki when she does not get the throne.

Wilbur saving Tommy’s life (twice? Attempted at least). Nothing says bonding like life or death situations.

Also at first I thought it might be something meant to be part of it or a plan by Phil and then the foreshadowing hit me like a truck.

Put Quackity and Schlatt on the most likely to be executed list right now. Not because I think Wilbur is smart enough to figure it out but because the person who was trailing him might.

Also, I love the consistent pov and the way you write it, but I would pay actual money to know how everyone reacts. I want my sand duo angst of Phil sending his son away against his will only to learn that might have killed him. I want to watch them turn the country upside down. I want to see Quackity in shambles because he might have killed his friends and the man he loves (? Is it mutual?) I want to see Niki’ reaction. But alas, we get Tommy and Wilbur in a SITUATION. Instead.

I do fully believe people will come looking for them, but now I’m worried we will get a chapter of snowstorm in the wilderness first.

Again I better get a sand duo hug after this is done. I need Wilbur to know that his dad loves him.

Also, at first I was like, “I wonder why Jack isn’t here?” Then the guards started getting sliced and I was like “oh that!s why.” Nobody gets plot armour in here. Jack’s cranckyness just saved his life.

Also, Tomys copying the way Wilbur eats his food tells us he looks up to him and trust his judgement. Maybe he did something right with his paranoia expenation.

Also, the consequences for this are going to be so good whether Wilbur figures out it was Quackity or not.

Anyway, I’m going to bed now. So good night! And a good day to you!!! What a great chapter I did not see that coming at all but I love it.

P.s. AO3 is being mean and Wouldn’t let me comment “BEE, WHAT THE FUCK!” but that genuinely was my first reaction.

-🌲

lol thank you, a lot of the flashback bit regarding wilbur and niki changed from what it was originally planned to be. I don't know how it happened but I got really into the flow of the scene and I'm very happy with how it turned out

HA the puzzle pieces falling into place about the bandits right at that moment. just "what's going on- OH"

I'm very glad you picked up on the l'manberg story not only being c!crime but also the parallels it could hold to rose!niki

life or death situations are the best for bonding!

don't be so sure we're only staying in wilbur's POV this time around spruce :)

LMAO yeah literally while I was writing about them leaving the palace in the morning I was like "shit wait I can't have jack here but I need to come up with an explanation for why he's not here" and jack's morning crankiness came about. he would've been killed so quickly by those bandits and I don't want this story to lose The Manifold so soon

wilbur and tommy eating their lunch is like that meme of miles morales and peter b parker in the first spiderverse movie you know the one

#ask #spruce anon #rose ch 6

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flyonthewallmedstudent · 4 months

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In what finding your passion looks like in medicine. maybe.

I work in IM.

Where most of the time it's a desk job. 80% of my patients can't realy communicate. My notes are often, "pleasantly confused" or agitated.

Plans are "collateral history" which means, call their fam on a phone. At my desk. then taking notes on a computer. ordering labs. ordering imaging. making a referral also consists of logging it in a computer, then making a phone call.

I enjoy my job, but it never makes for great television. There is literally a reality show being filmed in my hospital. And they're never interested in filming anything my dept does. I mean, I wouldn't watch what I do on television. My medical students I'm sure are confused by this job. The new ones anyway. Most of the job is sitting at a computer and looking at numbers. Unless they're really sick, in which case that becomes a code or a terrible conversation with families.

When I try do regular people stuff, like taking calls from I don't know, someone trying to sell me something or offer a service, while I'm at a code, in resus or giving a family bad news. I literally don't know what to say sometimes. The other side will ask, is this a bad time almost out of courtesy - and literally it is a terrible time. So, no I cannot actually carry on a 30 second conversation about an upgrade to my mobile plan while my patient is dying and the fam are here. I know they're doing a job. Not like they realize how extreme my job can be. It becomes a very surreal moment in my life. Or worse, I can't really tell my kids at the age they are, why I'm late to pick them up because literally someone's dying.

In the reverse situation. My junior coworkers freak out about waking up family in the middle of the night sometimes for their patients. I have to tell them, this is a 'new' normal, when your loved one is in hospital you'll want that middle of the night update no matter what, just call and wake them. We work in an abnormal situation all the time.

So when it's bad it's bad. When it's mundane, it's really mundane.

Anyway. Watching youtube/netflix on what the average person makes on the job etc. and what they do. I.e. on Mr Beast, an archeologist makes 100k a year to look at bones outside (sounds amazing by the way).

I think about what I make.

Actually most days I don't even think about it. I go to work. it's busy. Shit happens. It's an adrenaline rush. I go home to my kids, it's busy. After it all winds down I'm vegging in front of youtube again.

what's in a job anyway. if it's about the money, clearly i picked the wrong direction multiple times. I don't know how to describe the intensity of it sometimes.

The time I've left to myself is really used to relax after the highs and lows of work and life with kids.

Or worse. Time left is used to try to forget some of the intense moments that happen. Whether a bad outcome or a conflict with someone at work. Or not getting to the meaningful diagnosis or management issue in time, IM is a constant puzzle and some cases are challenging (these moments make you feel dumb and perpetuates imposter syndrome). It's a lot to take it. In some ways, "you get used to it." Which is the most over used phrase ever. How to to normalize things over time. Other times it's working on getting past it

It's pretty consuming job. When you enjoy something and it gives you meaning. Most of the time anyway. Slowing down to find balance is the hard part. We're not built to be machines that just go to work. You can make a lot of money in medicine if you tried, but you won't have energy or time to spend it. People go big when it comes to vacations now or honeymoons if they can take it. Because sometimes all you can do is take the day off to attend your own wedding. For parents who are not the primary caregiver, often all you get is 1-2 weeks off. Is it really worth any money? lol what's the value. I know a cardiologist who works too much cause they have 4 kids and childcare is expensive. But they love that job.

Is it a job? or a strange addiction.

#medblr #medlife

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k9jocks · 1 year

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Campground story? 👀

Okay, so my campground ended up being one of those small limited amenities campgrounds where you pick a spot, fill out your little card, put in your cash and drop it in the box. Absolutely beautiful with hiking trails going off of in and a creak running through the middle. I was going to get photos for abirddogmoment because it seems like their jam but well...

I had arrived Tuesday and there was a campsite 4 that had some bags that looked like they might have held people's stuff so I set up in campsite 8 right next to it.

Now, I've been camping out of my car ever since Streak got spooked, chewed a hole out of the tent and I had to track black dogs through a completely dark jellystone park at mightnight (0/10. Do Not Recommend). So instead of setting up tents, I set up my expen right behind my car in the little driveway area so it was visible - the people who arrived Wednesday had no problems seeing it and they grabbed other campsites.

Thursday comes along, and I spend the evening hanging out more with @cryptidcanines. I ended up back at the campground in the dark at around 930pm, pull up to what had been my campsite #8 and there was a strange car there as well as a tent.

Now I'm tired and just want to sleep, so I say screw it, and go into campsite 4 with the bags - No one had shown up since Tuesday so i guessed that the bags were just trash since there was no actual garbage bins and you had to take your trash out.

I feed the dogs, then walk over and fill out another slip with a note that "Hey, i'm the person who was in campsite 8, but i'm now in campsite 4 because campsite 8 got filled." Then I go over to campsite 8 trying to find my expen. It was folded up, against some trees with some of their stuff in front. So I just walk in and take it.

Campsite 8 folks from their tent ask what is going on, and I tell them that I was just getting my expen that I had left there because this was my campsite that they took. They said "Sorry. It was empty when we got here".

Empty. While my shit was Still. In. The. Site.

But whatever. I go back and sleep and in the morning when I leave, I pull out and set up the expen super big so no one can park at all in the area without seeing it.

Go to UpDif day 2 and make a joke of it to all my friends there because at that point it was still just a silly little annoyance. Thankfully also get multiple offers of where I can go if it happens again when I get back (I ended up just staying with the judges at the field in their parking lot)

I drive back to the campground at the end and of course there is a Strange Car and a Strange Tent in my campsite. I pull up and ask them where the expen is and they say that there was nothing there when they arrived.

The folks across from the site had also been there since Tuesday and were out, so I go up and ask them if they saw what happened to my expen the little fence thing that I set out for the dogs.

According to them, the Georgia state rangers had come by to collect the trash on their apparently weekly check. They saw the expen and assumed it belonged to the folks at campsite 8 since they had dogs too and went to talk to them, then came back and took it with the rest of the trash.

Yes. Campsite 8. The same campsite I had told the night before that the expen was being used to save my campsite. May you always have 3 grains of gravel stuck in your sock.

I tried calling the rangers office who was in charge of the campground but they were only open monday to friday, so I stayed overnight and went to their office monday morning. The lady at the helpdesk was super sympathetic and tried to help, but had to talk to the higherups. The lady she asked had zero interest in doing anything to help at all and claimed that it must have been thrown out and that she couldn't contact anyone to see where it was gone (undertones of GTFO). Really hope that someone at that office just took it home - it was a good expen and deserves to be used even if it's not by me.

I did end up with an extra super large dog dish though. I stopped at a rest area in Tennessee and was exing the dogs and stretching their legs with a good game of tuggies and the security guard came by and offered me it. Apparently someone left it there and I looked like a dog person, so I could have it. It is going to be my new disc washing bowl.

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writing-for-me-at-this-point · 4 years

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Matching Rings | Osamu Dazai | Bungo Stray Dogs

Request: A gift for @smoochi-dazai

Word Count: 1186 words

Page Count: 3.3 pages

A.N. Okay, so I’m dumb as fyuhck. Osamu is his first name- not Dazai. And this is the first thing I’ve written in a while as a full story so I’m rusty. Hope you all enjoy though!

The soft and heavy haze of sleep laid heavy on your body, a soft groan left your lips as you shifted in bed, the intense heat of the blanket and room combined made a whine follow rather quickly. You stilled your body soon after that, your eyes rolled in irritation, deciding to leave the bed for a bit to cool down. In just your underwear and a tanktop, you found the cool air calming your body heat, a small sigh of relief leaving you. Stretching your arms over your head, you made your way to the thermostat, bringing the heat down to sixty-eight, preferring a cooler temperature anyways.

"'m thirsty." You muttered, padding to the kitchen to grab a water bottle, a small sway in your steps. The extra chill of the fridge had you in heaven, and with weak arms you managed to sit yourself on the counter, eyes now closed and back hunched, you were half way back into sleep once again. You didn't notice the soft footsteps in the house, opting to ignore them- seeing as your aunt had the habit of waking up in the middle of the night to check on you, you wouldn't be surprised to see her.

"Ah, here you are, my sleepy, Belladonna." Osamus voice rang out, singing to a melody that was just for the two of you, a smile on your face as you lolled your head over to his direction. He did have the habit of entering your house , so hearing him of all people wasn't something that would worry you, especially after having to work a few jobs like he had done tonight.

"Hm. Osamu, it's late, an'... how'd ya get in here?" You asked, a hand coming up to rub your eye, moonlight lighting up the empty kitchen to bring your boyfriend into your line of sight. He usually called before he came over, or told you earlier in the day, either way- you were expecting a heads up.

"You're really asking me how I got into your house? When I've done this... gods know how many times? I'm in the Port, [ Y/n ]." He laughed to himself, arms out as he strode towards you, hands placed on either side of you. You let out a short chuckle and turned your head, hands in your lap, his own voice mingled with yours. Humming, you leaned down, forehead touching his, his eyes closed at the contact, enjoying your nose slowly moving against his.

Though he was freshly indoctrinated to the Port Mafia, paired with possibly the most insufferable kid as a partner, and quickly rising the ranks to executive- he was still a teenager. He still enjoyed his moments of peace with you, the warmth whenever the mere thought of you crossed his mind, the calm before the storm that covered the stars in the sky the both of you would often gaze at on the roof of your aunts home.

"I got you a gift-" He started, pulling away from you, a hand moving to your thigh as the other went into the pocket of the overcoat that hung on his shoulders.

"Osamu, I told you not to do that." You sighed.

"I know, I know, but I just couldn't resist. You see, today is a very special day, for both you and me." He mused, playful in tone and movements, he pulled out a small black box- soft to the touch, and quite small, like the one that would hold a ring...

"Osamu, I swear to the gods if you're-"

"I'm not proposing, if that's what you're asking- er, well, thinking. Not yet, at least." He murmured, shifting side to side. Yet? At least he was thinking of the future, or was he just messing with you? He had a habit of doing that. And not to forget, you were too tired to care for a small statement like that.

"It's the day you..." He sung, pointing both fingers at you, the small velvet box held gently between both hands.

"And I," He pulled his fingers in, jutting his thumbs out to point at himself, his smirk becoming a soft smile.

"Met. In turn, we started this whirlwind of a romance, me and you." You smiled at his words, fully awake at this point, holding his larger and much colder hands between yours. A sigh left you once again, and you leaned forward to kiss him, soft and gentle. Appreciative and full of love. You knew Osamu was always... himself, often leaving you wondering if he really did care about you, but those were just small moments.

He knew how to make you feel special.

You just wish it wasn't in the middle of the night.

But this will do, for now.

Opening the box slowly, you watched as he unveiled the two ebony bands, a large gold stripe ran horizontally in the middle. Your eyes shot open, this surely was expensive, and looked like something you'd never want to lose. Your breath was caught on your throat, and you could see on the inside of the bands two small symbols on opposing sides.

Your astrology signs.

Your heart was soaring, heat filled your face in adoration and embarrassment, probably due to the fact that you annoyed your boyfriend with the stars to the point he bought you matching rings.

"Holy shit, Osamu, these must've been expen-"

"Worth it, you mean! I mean, the look in your eyes, I'd buy a hundred more just to see it again!" Oh no, your heart! You couldn't hide the smile on your face, opting to look down at your lap and the box holding the rings, his laugh rung in your ears again. He coaxed you into looking up, taking one of the rings and placing it on your right hand, opting for your ring finger.

"This is beautiful, thank you, really." You spoke up, taking the other ring into your own hand, his right in your own. You placed his own ring on his hand, your mind racing, not knowing how to articulate yourself properly.

"You know I'm not good with words-" You started, you wanted to make these words count, mean something, he got you such an expensive gift after all!

"One thing I love about you." He said, laying his head on your chest, arms tightly wound around you.

"But, really, I love this. It- it means a lot. I just wish I could get you something like this-"

"It's alright, not everyone our age works so high up in the Port Mafia."

"Jesus Christ, Osamu, I'm trying to be grateful here. Maybe even romantic." You rolled your eyes, a smile on your face as your head shook, his antics getting to you again.

"Eh, that isn't really our style, now is it?" He grinned, fingers pressing into your sides slowly, a small jolt coming from you.

"No, not really." Your hands hand into his hair, playing with the locks, mindful of the bandages that were meant to cover his eye.

"Good. I thought I would have thrown up."

"Okay- ew."

#x reader #reader insert #bsd x reader #bsd dazai x reader #bsd dazai osamu #osamu dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #bungou stay dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

Text

Frogs and Blue Birds

Did I seriously just write this? I did, and I am THRIVING.

Have Fane being soft, Cole being the muffin he is, and Solas nearly having a stroke. Enjoy!

Warning: References/Implied/Depictions of Child Abuse

Pairing: Solavellan (Male Lavellan/Solas)

Word count: (Shhh..)

***

“Do you know who the Inquisitor is with, Cole?”, Solas asked the spirit as they walked through the encampment, idly noticing how much more comfortable the refugees seemed to be with their minor assistance. It was comforting knowing these people had been afforded some peace after everything they had endured, even if it was fleeting.

“Yes.”, Cole responded bluntly, never pausing in his gait, even as blue eyes hazed over slightly with a wave of thoughts not the spirit’s own. “Firm hands grip my wrist. Pulling, tugging, insistent until it falls from my grasp. A boot crushes, twists as the little morsel becomes the earth. A sneer, a bitter laugh as Father slaps my already bruised cheek. ‘I’m hungry’ his stomach echoes as dead eyes stare at the abused ground before cool loneliness wraps him like a wet blanket. ‘I’m hungry..”, Cole spoke cryptically, but slowly, head down turned to watch his feet as they walked.

Solas frowned at Cole’s words. Was he talking about Fane? Or someone else?

“Who are you listening to, Cole?”, Solas asked calmly for clarification, resisting the urge to walk faster, even as the thought of Fane potentially being in trouble plagued his mind.

Cole shook his head before coming to a complete stop by a ruined wall, peeking around the corner before looking up at Solas with somber blue eyes.

“Tall, big, scary, but somehow safe. Long legs kneel down to my height, eyes like the color of frogs that hopped along the river by our old home as they look at me. ‘The Inquisitor!’ his frightened mind cries, but memories of warnings and fear flit, flutter, fly away as a small smile forms, a large, warm hand reaching out to him, but no stinging heat comes against my cheek. Carefully, gingerly, not too fast as gentle words fill me with unknown warmth, ‘Let’s get you something to eat.’”, Cole rattled off once more, a small smile forming on his face. “He observed the hurt before I heard it, and he wanted to help.” Cole stepped away from the wall to motion for Solas. “Look.”

Solas stared at Cole for several moments before slowly going to the spot indicated by a gentle hand. Before he could peer around the edge, he heard Fane’s normally deep voice speaking in a measured, caring tone.

“Eat, child. No harm will come of it.”

“But, Father said--”, a child’s meek voice coming forth next.

“Hush.”, a soft consoling whisper warping a normally harsh voice. “Nothing will happen from a few bites of bread and meat. You need to eat, so eat.”

“W..What if-?”, more fear causing hesitance.

“While I’m here, he won’t lay a finger upon you.”, a deep growl akin to how his dragon used to utter the sound piercing the still air. “So, relax and eat.”

That exchange had Solas blinking, peeking around the corner fully now to stare wide eyed at the sight displayed before him. What he saw made his heart and soul melt like sweet, sweet sugar.

Fane was currently seated upon a half buried log, his elbows resting upon his muscles thighs as emerald eyes shone with delicate gold from where they were currently watching a small child, who was seated on the ground next to one of his calves. The child appeared to be no more than ten, perhaps eleven at the most, and from the sight of pointed ears, it was obvious the young boy was an elf. However, and his heart broke at this, the boy also appeared to be..a victim of a far too firm hand as light and dark bruises lined fair skin. Solas now understood what Cole had been speaking of before, the compassionate spirit had been listening in on the child’s pain, not Fane’s.

“He wanted to help.”, Cole’s voice was a whisper next to him, the young man watching the display like he was with a happy spark in icy blue eyes.

Solas smiled gently as he continued to watch the child and Fane, the young boy beginning to nimble at the food before he dug into it like a person starved. All the while, Fane merely observed with a calm expression, but a sad smile as the child ate. It was a sad, but precious sight. It was a dragon doing what it was intended to do, but tempered with the spirit of mortality. It was wonderful in its bittersweet duality.

“I see..”, Solas murmured softly in response to Cole’s statement before leaning against the wall a bit more. “And do you believe he has, Cole?”

He saw Cole nod with a smile from his peripheral. “The pain is still there, but he made it less sharp with his eyes. The child likes his eyes. They remind him of frogs and daisies. He wants to know how they mixed.”

He chuckled as Cole’s usual wording. “Is that so?”, he said under his breath before continuing with a more fond tone. “I am glad to hear that. Truly.”

It warmed Solas’s heart to know that a child could see past Fane’s outward appearance, and feel safe. No person was safer than when shielded by wings of ice and ebony, after all.

He watched Fane gently drop another wrapped package into the boy’s lap. The child’s eyes went wide once more as they turned up to Fane’s calm, caring ones. Solas smiled even warmer as he knew exactly what was in that neatly wrapped box. He had been with Fane when the man had bought it in Val Royeaux, having made a stop there for supplies on their way to the Emerald Graves. The exchange between him and Fane had been the usual, of course.

***

“Sweet tooth bothering you, vhenan?”, he had teased Fane with a knowing smile as he had walked up to where the Elvhen dragon had just finished purchasing the source of Solas’s comment.

“Says the one who was practically salivating when we passed the first time around.”, Fane had bit back with a scoff, but a gentle smile. “But, no to your question. I just felt like buying some since we were here. Never know when a treat could come in handy. Anyway, you want one?”

“I would not be..offended if you gifted me with one.”, he had replied sheepishly, attempting to hide his more than piqued interest to the box’s contents.

“You’re seriously worse with these things than I am, you know that?”, Fane had accused, having opened the box carefully.

“Do not be ridiculous. I enjoy these as much as I enjoy most things; with reserved enthusiasm.”, he had deflected as Fane had handed him the offering.

“Don’t lie. Because I already got confirmation from your discussion with Blackwall when we were crossing the border.” He remembered the look of smugness on Fane’s face as he had called Solas out on his bluff.

Solas had nearly dropped his gift from Fane’s words as he had tried to keep a straight face. “You were..listening to that conversation?”

“I listen to everything you guys say. Just because I don’t interact with it doesn’t mean I don’t hear it. Some of the shit you all spew is downright embarrassing.”, Fane had stated with amusement before his dragon had shut the pleasant box from his seeking eyes. “Also, you had a thing for sweets back in Arlathan, too. Usually anything with vanilla or strawberry. You’re impartial to chocolate, especially if it’s dark because the bitterness leaves a bad taste in your mouth. White is mediocre, which I don’t get because it’s like vanilla, but maybe it’s too sweet. While semisweet is the one you indulge in. Cakes are your favorite, but you do settle for something simpler if the craving is strong enough.”

“How do you--? Never mind.”, he had dismissed his own question with an exasperated sigh, knowing full well how Fane knew of his particular tastes. “You will keep this between us, yes?”

“Maybe. Haven’t decided.”, Fane had shrugged before turning from him with a grace that most would not acquaint with his size.

“Aterian.”, he had warned, having felt a bit of panic rise as Fane had begun to walk away with a dismissive flick of his hand. “A most insufferable dragon, you are. Why do I even bother?”, he had grumbled out before sighing in defeat, soon having followed after Fane to walk beside his dragon once more to continue their mandatory shopping, but not before slipping the little secret into his mouth.

***

The lightness of the memory had Solas sighing contentedly before he heard the child’s curious, awe inspired voice from beyond.

“What’s this?”, the child asked around a bit of bread he was still chewing on.

He heard Fane chuckle fondly before a large hand came down to brush away a bit of dirt on the boy’s face, making sure to be light with his touch so as not to scare the traumatized boy. His dragon took his hand away with a saddened smile when the boy did indeed flinch involuntarily.

“A reward.”, Fane answered the boy’s question simply, opting to keep his hands where they were now.

“A reward? For what?”, the boy asked before beginning to unravel the package.

“For continuing to endure even when it seems to be too much. Be proud of that, child.”, Fane told the young elf, a tender smile gracing his dragon’s features.

The little boy seemed confused by Fane’s words, but that was replaced with unbridled excitement at the contents within the package. Solas felt his heart tighten with affection at the sight of such joy and innocence.

A treat could come in handy, indeed. He thought on Fane’s words from days before with fondness. As ever, his dragon was keen, even when not meaning to be.

“This is like those cakes in Val Royeaux!”, the boy exclaimed, bouncing with excitement.

“The very same.”, Fane said around a quiet chuckle, seeming genuinely happy for once.

“I can really have it? These are ex..expen..sive, right?”, the child managed to get out the word with a sense of accomplishment.

He watched Fane shake his head with a reassuring smile. “Doesn’t matter. Money has a place, but I rarely give it much thought. I buy what I like.”

“The Inquisitor likes cake?!”, an incredulous shout coming from the once meek child.

The sound of a strained, but gentle laugh had Solas’s legs nearly buckling from how lovely the sound was to him. This was too much. Too much..

“Indeed he does. That’s a secret, however. Keep it for me?”, Fane said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

The boy nodded energetically with a wide smile. “I can do that! Oh! And..M..Ma s..ser..”

“Ma serannas.”, Fane finished the Elvhen easily for the child--the sound of it nearly making Solas dissolve yet again--before motioning to his mouth. “Repeat after me. ‘Ma’”

“Ma. Ma.”, the boy reiterated diligently, even if the single syllable was a tad too harsh, seemingly determined.

Fane shook his head gently, lowering himself onto the ground to look the child in the eyes firmly, but caringly. “Softer. Like you just let out a little sigh. Ma.”, emerald eyes watching the thinking boy patiently.

“Ma.”, the boy repeated a bit better, eyes blazing with excitement and the want for approval.

“Excellent. A natural, you are.”, Fane praised with a proud smile before he proceeded to teach the boy the next word. “Se. ran. nas. Break it apart. Feel the rhythm of the words in your head before giving them a voice.”

The child nodded with rapt attention before delicate brows furrowed in concentration. “Se..”

“Good. Next. Ran.”

“Ran..”

“Softer.”, Fane instructed patiently.

“Ran..nas..”

Fane smiled with pride, nodding with approval before holding up a finger. “Now combine them. It’ll sound a bit different. Let it flow. Ma serannas.”, the Elvhen fluid and concise as it fell.

“Ma sera..nnas. Ma serannas. Ma serannas!”, the boy exclaimed energetically as the words finally took better form. “Did I do it?!”

“You did.”, Fane said with a single nod, chuckling as the boy continued to utter the singular phrase with pride. “Just keep at it and it’ll be second nature to you.”

Joy filled eyes turned back to Fane’s proud ones before soft wonder made the boy’s face pinch in thought. Solas tilted his head at the look. Another question it would seem?

“Where did you learn elven, Inquisitor? You’re Dalish, but Father says it’s a..dead language, even to them?”, the child asked Fane with a curiosity only a child could possess.

“Not dead. Just..forgotten. I learned some from the Dalish, but most of it was from a dear, dear friend of mine. He taught me how I just taught you, but..in a different circumstance.”, Fane explained calmly and with affection, unaware that the source of his affection was watching tenderly from afar, before chuckling, picking at his leather gloves idly. “Honestly, he’s better than me at it. I used to hate hearing it, let alone speaking it.”

The child rose up on his knees to level Fane with a petulant glare. His dragon met it with a shocked, but somewhat amused look. This couldn’t be real with how pure it was. Surely not.

“You’re plenty good! You taught me that word, right? That just shows you’re good at it!”, the child rallied behind Fane with exuberance and stubbornness.

Fane blinked at the child’s outburst before letting out a soft laugh, motioning for the boy to seat himself back down on the ground. The boy listened to the silent request easily, but still glared up at the dragon.

Fane chuckled fondly. “Well, if you feel that strongly about it then I guess I have to agree, huh?”

“Yup!”

“Then I concede. Now, eat the rest of your food.”

“Okay!”

Solas had to look away as a feeling of warmth and affection nearly made him want to pass out from that endearing display, turning from the corner to rest his back and the back of his head against the cool stone wall. His heart couldn’t take this..this utter display of vulnerability and domesticity. It was like rays of the sun on a chilly day, their gentle heat causing him to close his eyes and slip into a calming sleep. He had never realized Fane would be good with children, but now he saw that that was an ignorant assessment. Fane would definitely be good with children with how firm, but calm he could be outside of the stress of duty and free of the rage towards a world full of corruption. He guided with a gentle, but stern hand, spoke with an even, but accepting tone, understood levels of emotions, and the effect they had upon a young, impressionable mind. He had all the makings of a--

“I think he would make a good father, too.”, Cole blurted out quietly, finishing his train of thought easily.

Solas blanched at the spirit’s bluntness before clearing his throat harshly. Calm, calm. He couldn’t let his flustered demeanor show around anyone other than Fane. It was far too inviting for the others to latch onto. The last time such innocent, but annoying banter had occurred was when Fane had given him a short kiss before their parties had split up to survey an area. The two of them hadn’t really thought much of the complications that small display would conjure, so used to simply indulging whenever the moment took them, so suffice it to say, it had been..troublesome.

Sera had barely survived by the end of it, Solas, perhaps, having hurled a few too many boulders the woman’s way--all accidentally, of course--when a snarky comment about ‘snogging’ or ‘elven glory’ had been made. Varric and Dorian, he had heard, had nearly been met with the same end from Fane’s great sword or boot when comments about ‘cracking Solas’s cool exterior’ had been uttered one too many times. Blackwall, when paired with Sera, had teased endlessly, even as Solas had responded with varying levels of ‘no’ until he had been ‘forced’ to summon a tiny wisp of magic to silence the Warden. Fane had mentioned that both Cassandra and Vivienne had taken turns gently lecturing the dragon about potential repercussions of their relationship to which the man had responded with ‘Your concern doesn’t concern me. Shove off.’. Bull had ‘kindly’ attempted to give him some ‘pointers’ which resulted in Solas nearly wanting to tear the Veil down right then and there before he opted on taking his frustration out on an innocent patch of foliage. The smell of burning leaves still made him gag to this day.

Thankfully, neither Fane nor he had to deal with Mhairi as his dragon’s sister had decided to remain at Skyhold to help train some new apprentices that had arrived from a mage cell. Solas already knew how much Mhairi did not agree with their relationship, and that was mainly because of him himself. So, it had been a blessing among curses when he hadn’t had to deal with icy glares and pointed questions about intentions.

All in all, it had not been a productive day, and that had been when Fane and he had decided to be a bit more discreet and reserved with their affections when in public, but perhaps it was too late for discretion. It wasn’t that they were ashamed, per say, but having private matters treated like they were a mere joke was demeaning to the nature of their relationship--any relationship, honestly. Solas knew there was no ill will behind most of the light jabs, but it was still exasperating enough to keep their want to show affection at bay in daylight. Sadly, not everyone understood the background behind their devotion, so it was a sacrifice they had to pay for continued secrecy. However, hiding from Cole was nigh impossible when it came to those specific feelings because of how potent they were. Cole never meant harm when voicing him or Fane’s thoughts, and would stop if either of them asked. In this moment though, the spirit’s words were most welcome with how pure and understanding they were.

“I am sure he would be happy to hear that from you, Cole. There are not many people who see past his anger enough to realize that..”, he said with a somber tone as he watched Cole go back to the corner to continue watching.

“You do. Why doesn’t everybody?”, Cole asked absently, but sadly. “Even his sister gets scared sometimes. He can see it, and it hurts him..”

“The Inquisitor and I’s situation is..complicated, Cole. It is a long, long story..”, he explained, trying to keep the will to divulge away. “And concerning Mhairi’s behaviour..”, he sighed with a shake of his head. “..that is something she and Fane must reconcile on their own. It is not our place to interfere, even though we could.”

“His father is to blame, though. It wasn’t his fault. He was only trying to protect her..”

“It is hard to explain that to someone who was made to believe it was their fault, even if they know the reason behind why they chose to subject themselves to the deed in the first place..”, an ember of anger making itself known at the thought of Fane’s asp of a father before he sighed deeply. “Again, it is a complicated matter that Fane must sort out in time. We can only continue to support him from a respectable distance, and let him know he has a place to go when it becomes too much..”

Cole looked down at his feet, frown deepening from his words before looking back up to watch Fane show the curious, happy child the Anchor. The dragon made sure to keep the child from getting too handsy with the foreign magic, but it appeared Fane was patiently answering energetic questions surrounding it, an occasional twitch of an eyebrow the only indication that the focusing of magic in abused veins was causing discomfort. Solas had to keep himself firmly rooted to the ground as the desire to calm that pain surged through him, making him clench a fist before letting it go lax.

I will release you of this burden one day, ma’isenatha. Just hold on for a while longer.. He thought sorrowfully, but placated himself with the knowledge that one day Fane would not have to endure such painful magic any longer.

“His pain is loud, even when it’s masked. Clawing, scraping, bleeding as it tries to find purchase on a shore so slippery with sand. He hides it behind anger, rage, fury because it is easier to wash away the pain with spite because tears only make it hurt more.., Cole spoke quietly, words slowing down upon the last few before a frown worked its way on a sorrowful face. “Blades cause pain, hands heal the hurt. He wants to be the hand, but a blade is always placed in it instead. He’s afraid he’d be a bad father because he never had one that cared enough to not use a blade himself. He was never taught how to guide, only how to break, to kill, to survive..”, an even deeper frown of despair marring Cole’s visage. “..His father never loved him. He only broke him.. ‘No crying, no screaming, no telling anyone’. Words upon words that leash me, even if I am no longer bound to the table..’You’re just like your father..’ Her words sting, cut, dig like the jagged knife as rage overflows. ‘I will never be like that monster!’, he cries even if he doubts his own words. ‘..Will I? Will I use the blade more than the hand?’..”

Those words were a frigid stab to Solas’s heart with how much anguish they held. Did Fane truly believe he would make a terrible parent? It was true that Fane’s past abuse warped his nature further, breeding anger and spite, but it hadn’t warped it entirely. His dragon knew more about how to guide and educate than Solas himself did. He knew Fane would never do what his ‘father’ had done. Not in a million years. In his heart, Solas knew Fane would be the most caring of fathers. The exchanges between him and the young boy was proof of that, and this child was a stranger to the wary man. So, Fane most certainly knew how to show love and understanding unlike his monstrous father. His dragon had not deserved to be roused from slumber only to be used, tortured, and discarded like a broken tool, to have such horrible, festering insecurities such as this. Abuse was not hereditary, and for Fane to believe it was, was upsetting to him, especially since they both knew Fane was not biologically tied to the man now. But perhaps that made it worse because Fane had been lied to as well as having his caring nature betrayed with false hopes of acceptance and love. It was a sorrowful, anguished thought, but that didn’t mean Fane was incapable of succeeding where his ‘father’ had failed. If anything, his heart would thrive in the challenging role of being a parent.

“Vhenan.. Any child would be filled with joy to have you as their father. I know I would be filled with it if I witnessed such a sight as the one before me on a daily basis..”, Solas said under his breath wistfully as he gazed up at the twilight shrouded sky, taking in the soft rose golds and tints of purple as night closed in. They reminded him of Fane’s golden flecks in the morning, and how his love would sometimes point out how Solas’s eyes harbored that specific shade of purple.

“He thinks you’d be a better one.”, Cole told him suddenly.

Solas blinked at those words, shifting his gaze downwards once more to see Cole watching him with his normal calm, but curious gaze. Fane..thought he would be a good..father? Truly?

“He does, does he?”, Solas questioned slowly, turning his gaze downwards to the verdant grass beneath his feet as doubt, but also a feeling of tender warmth cloaked his body through his clothing. “You have..heard this, I am guessing?”, shifting his gaze upwards momentarily to see if Cole was still watching him.

Cole nodded vigorously, the brim of his hand wobbling with the effect before he stopped with a wider smile. It would seem the kindly spirit liked the memory of Fane’s thoughts. That was..reassuring, for some reason.

“Warm, soft, gentle as delicate hands soothe the ache from jagged metal without an ounce of magic, whispering soothing words that once caused bile to rise because of the memories they bore. ‘Ar lath ma’. The words a whisper, a promise, a prayer as the sky stares back at me with all the patience one could offer. Never expecting, never rushing, never forcing with a firm hand. He guides, he teaches, he cares. ‘What would he be like with a child? One with eyes like his and hair like mine? He would be perfect, caring, soft, firm. He would be happy. I want him to be happy.” A hope, a fear, another desire. ‘I cannot wish for more. I have already wished for enough. This is enough. Enough..’”, Cole finished with a wistful whisper before fixing him with a calm stare once more.

Solas could feel the air leave his lungs as Cole’s words sank into his mind, warmth beginning to spread across his cheeks from a blush born of sheepishness, but also..happiness. Fane..believed he would be a good father. What’s more, his dragon wanted a child--a child embodying them. While such a thing could never truly be, it was heartwarming enough to know Fane even thought of such tender ideas, that he cared so deeply for him that a mere dream was an aspiration. His heart felt like it was about to burst from the thought himself. Deep down, Solas had always wondered what parenthood would be like, but his path did not allow such charming dreams to take shape, but maybe, just maybe, there could be a chance when everything was..done. If he--if they survived. But those fears were for another day, even if they were always on the doorstep, waiting for entry.

“I..”, he began, but could only let out an airy chuckle as a small, but loving smile bloomed on his lips. “Thank you, Cole. I appreciate you sharing that with me. It is..warming, if nothing else.”, he told the curious spirit, slowly starting to pull away from the wall he was braced against, even as his legs shook slightly.

“I hope it helps. He doesn’t like it when you talk about yourself badly. Just like you don’t like it when he calls himself a ‘sin’..”, Cole said with a small frown.

“I know he doesn’t. But it is not so easy to strip away dark shadows from their hallowed corners. For either of us..”, Solas responded with a small frown of his own, familiar guilt poking at him like a tiny needle.

“Do you love him, Solas?”, Cole asked within the next moment, jarringly so.

Solas froze at Cole’s question before sighing fondly. Cole was becoming keener and keener with each passing day, and more direct, too. He was unsure if he should fear or bask in those developments of the compassionate spirit, but for now, he would leave it be for a simple, but heavy truth. One that was not weighted down with shadows and guilt, but was pure and definite in its reverence and devotion.

“I do.”, Solas said tenderly and without shame before letting his eyes slip shut to feel the tingling sensation of warmth cascade down his body. “More than my heart can bear sometimes.”, he added before reopening his eyes to look back at Cole, motioning to the direction they had come from. “Come. Let us head back. The others will want to know where the Inquisitor is, especially Mhairi. I imagine she is beside herself with worry.”

As much as Solas wished to stay and continue to observe, this was Fane’s moment to be himself, to embrace a side he didn’t feel safe showing any other time, and he would not spurn his dragon’s want for such gentle happiness. Not when the world already did so without restraint. No--he would let Fane rest, if only for the time being. Perhaps he would ask after the scene tonight when Fane returned, but no sooner.

“Okay.”, Cole agreed to his request easily before looking down, seeming to think about something with the way another frown worked onto his pale face.

“Cole?”, Solas asked curiously, turning the spirit more fully as concern flooded his mind. “Is something wrong? Are you in any kind of distress?”, usual worry for Cole pushing through as shrouded blue eyes turned misty with emotions and thoughts before they cleared in the next moment.

Cole looked up from where he was staring at his feet before shaking his head with a smile. “No. I was just thinking that there should be more dragons. Ones with eyes of blue birds and lavender.”

Solas blinked in shock, watching as Cole practically skipped past him with a quiet hum. What had..just happened?

“More..dragons? Blue birds and--”, he trailed off quietly before figuring out the double meaning behind those words with a dawning revelation. “O..Oh..”, he stuttered out as even more heat made him flush.

Solas knew that Cole likely knew what Fane was, but that hadn’t been the message behind the spirit’s words. Cole was saying that he would like to see..a child--Fane’s child. With Solas’s eyes. Such a thought should not make him feel so hopeful, but yet it did in its absurdity, but pureness. This evening was full of surprises and revelations, apparently.

“Hnn..”, Solas let out a shaky sigh before glancing back to where Fane was still currently engaging with the young boy, a wistful look in emerald as a usually indifferent face bore a calm smile. The sight of Fane gingerly summoning a wisp of silvery blue along his unmarked arm with scales reminiscent of when he was dragon, and the child clapping their hands together in awe had Solas sinking down to the ground, pressing his back against the wall once more to gently thump the back of his head a few times. He couldn’t stand, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe with how much longing sang in his heart like a flock of dusky nightingales.

“I wish for more dragons as well, Cole.”, Solas admitted to the empty air, Cole long since wandered off before he shut his eyes once more. “However, I wish for ones with eyes like frogs and daisies..”

***

Am I crying at my own writing? Maybe. I’ll never tell! *curls up on the ground*

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #my writing #solas #cole #lavellan #oc: fane lavellan #solavellan #will I ever stop writing about these two?#probably not #we got all the little headcanons in here today #da:i #dragon age fanfiction #fanfiction #surprisingly this didn't take me too long #about a day and a half #solas is screaming on the inside #it's too much for this wolf #and matchmaker cole because yes

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thecleverdame · 4 years

Text

Control and Release - 27

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: After the rest of the staff is caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester. As the arrangement becomes more defined, you and Sam begin a sexual adventure with dangerous consequences.

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Words: 5.7k

Parts 28-31 are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including the ABO series Gods of Twilight and Patreon exclusive content. >> CLICK HERE <<

Two Months Later

Two of W & S's private planes are sitting side by side on the tarmac as you walk toward the stairs and board the jet. In the front section are the larger, roomier seats reserved for the more important members of the staff.

You spot Sam the moment you board, he’s seated with a laptop open in front of him. Next to him is the welcome sight of Pepper, pointing to something on the screen and rattling on. He seems to sense your presence, glancing up and locking in while you shuffle down the aisle. A small, amused smirk pulls at his mouth, throat bobbing as he watches you.

He really did a number on you this morning; set the alarm and everything to ensure the two of you had plenty of quality time together before departure. He had you in handcuffs, moaning his name before you were even truly awake. And now your ass is throbbing. He was in the mood to really give it to you good and then you begged for it even harder. This morning’s spanking will definitely make for an uncomfortable flight, but that’s the point. A constant reminder of his hands on your ass, enough to keep you wet in anticipation of what’s to come over the next few weeks together in a new place.

This trip to London is scheduled to last four weeks if everything goes well, but likely closer to six. Six weeks in a city you’ve only dreamed of visiting. The new office means training a hundred employees at W & S’s flagship UK office. You’ll each train your counterpart, helping to guide them through the internal processes.

“Hi Pepper,” you grin as you walk by them. “Welcome back.”

While you never imagined those words would be true, hell hath frozen over. Having a second rate replacement who didn’t understand your working or personal relationship with Sam proved to be incredibly challenging. Now that Pepper knows your secret, you hope this part of things will become easier. She’ll give you all the unfettered access you want with no questions asked.

“Hello.” She manages a grim, sickly smile.

Sam glances around, ensuring there’s no one else in the front cabin before speaking up.

“How are you this morning, Y/N?” he smirks, mouth barely containing a shit-eating grin.

Pepper sighs, shifting uncomfortably between you, with a roll of her eyes. She was at his house this morning to help him prepare. She watched you eat Corn Flakes in his kitchen with her trademark look of irritated judgment.

“Good, how are you, Mr. Winchester?” you counter, looking back as Millie boards the plane, walking up behind you. “Better keep moving.”

You enter the back section with a dozen smaller seats that are still a luxury compared to a commercial flight. Cole glances up from his book and smiles wide and warm, gesturing to the empty seat beside him.

Sam is sure it was him who turned you in to human resources, but you’re not convinced. He hasn’t acted any different towards you. He’s just as easy to work with as he was before the incident. It’s been almost two months now and there’s been nothing, no whispers or sideways looks. Someone saw or heard something, but whoever it is is playing their cards close to the vest.

For the first couple of hours, you chat about work, then he tells you about his mother and how hard the death of his father was on the whole family. You offer up little anecdotes about your parents and growing up in New Mexico. Even show him a couple of family photos.

Eventually, he makes a move to his iPad and you open your book. It’s hard to concentrate. You can feel him sneaking glances at you, once, twice and then every couple minutes.

You shut the book, turning to him.

“Is there something on your mind?”

He’s silent, settling his headphones around his neck. You see the wheels turning; whatever he’s about to say, he’s wrestling with it.

“I just...I thought I knew you.”

Your heart sinks into your stomach.

“What does that mean?” you hiss. Swiveling in the seat you glance behind you at Millie asleep with her mouth hanging open and Adam from IT watching a movie with giant headphones over his ears.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” Cole leans closer, eyes closing for a moment as if this conversation is equally as painful for him as it is for you. “I know you’re trapped in what seems like an impossible situation and you don’t know how to get out, but-”

“It was you.” You’re taken aback, staring at him as he blinks innocently at you. “You’re the one who went to HR.”

“Of course I did!” he nods curtly. “And I’d do it again.”

“That was none of your business.” You thrust a finger toward him.

“Of course it was, what he’s doing to you is wrong.” Cole reaches for your hand and you pull back like he’s burned you. “Look, I underestimated the level of power he wields. I thought HR would open an investigation and then you’d have an opportunity to tell someone what he’s been doing to you.”

“This is unbelievable.” You sink back against the seat.

“I agree. They know and they didn’t do anything. I thought Winchester was a straight shooter, but I should have known someone with his reputation would have a nasty skeleton in the closet.”

“Whatever you think you heard, you’re wrong.” You’re worried now. He’s so genuine in his explanation, he honestly believes Sam forced himself on you, coerced you into sex.

“I know what I heard,” Cole insists, grabbing for your hand. This time he catches your wrist and pulls you closer. “You don’t have to put up with that kind of treatment. You’re a strong woman, I can help you.”

“You have no idea what you’re walking about,” you whisper, swallowing hard. “You didn’t understand what you heard. You think it’s something that it’s not.”

He stares at you, sighing and sitting back.

“Alright,” he nods. “But if he’s doing this to you, he’s doing it to someone else, too.”

“Cole,” you turn toward him. “You have to let this go.”

“The Winchesters are bad guys. All of them,” he comments dryly, flipping open his computer. “Sam may have had more success than his brother but he just hasn’t gotten caught for his dirty deeds yets, but they’re both rotten.”

You shake your head in disbelief, trying to determine why he’s invoking Dean. He must have done his research.

“You have to trust me when I say that you have it wrong.” You might as well stop, all this pleading in vain. Cole has an idea in his head about who and what Sam is and he’s never going to let it go.

“We don’t have to talk about it anymore.” He gives you a tight smile. “I just needed you to know that I know. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

Eight Hours Later

“I’m not normally one to say I told you so, but…” Sam leans out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips and a toothbrush hanging from the corner of his mouth.

“You were right,” you concede, holding up both hands. “I just hate that he thinks you’re this evil guy.”

“Half the world thinks I’m an asshole,” comes his voice from the bathroom. “That’s nothing new to me. Does it bother you?”

”Of course it does. I don’t like the idea of Cole believing you’re some monster.”

“Well, Cole can’t love both of us at the same time.” He chuckles to himself and you hear him spit into the sink.

Sam’s room is ten times the size of yours, with a parlor, living room, massive bedroom and a bathroom large enough for a shower and soaker tub. To top it all off there’s a balcony just off his bedroom overlooking the city. You’ve been allocated a small box of a room on the second floor at a hotel down the street but luckily Sam handed you a key card to his room as soon as you stepped inside. He and Pepper are the only staff staying at this hotel, which makes slipping in and out a hell of a lot easier.

“Do you like the room?” Sam asks, wandering toward the bed in his underwear. “They have an even larger suite on the top floor but no terrace. I thought you would enjoy being able to sit outside.”

“I do,” you smile, watching him thoughtfully. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I never stop,” he responds, smiling when you blush. “Are you tired?”

“Depends on why you’re asking.” You offer up a tired pout. “I’m pretty exhausted but I could be talked into any number of things.”

The London offices may be smaller but are no less impressive than the Boston office you work out of. You stand silently beside Cole as the elevator rises up the top floor.

“How are you?” he asks, adjusting his tie.

“Good,” you answer, staring forward.

You’re not sure what to say. After the world’s most awkward flight you checked into your official hotel room and went to join Sam, happy to be far away from everyone else. You haven’t spoken to Cole since you got off the plane.

Now that you’ve had time to process what he said, there are several things that don’t sit well. It seems as if he’s disappointed in you, let down that you were either unwilling or unable to turn on Sam and admit to harassment. If Cole truly believes Sam demanded sexual acts from you, it’s pretty shitty to say he expected more.

“I like your outfit.” He clears his throat looking ahead. “I’ve never seen it before.”

“Thank you. It’s new.” You look down at your tweed suit, a gift from Sam that morning. It’s Chanel, something you’d never be able to afford on your own. You were apprehensive over such an expensive gift at first but once you tried it on you figured it was a drop in the bucket for him.

“Looks expensive.” He gives you a once over.

“It is.”

The first meeting of the day is with Lady Toni Bevell and a dark-haired man named Mick who shakes your hand with such vigor you barely have feeling left when he lets go.

Cole introduces himself, explains his position and how long he’s been with the company. Then Toni chimes in, folding her hands on the table in front of her.

“Well, obviously, I just started in this position. I was a practicing lawyer up until a few years ago. But I’ve known Sam for a long time.”

“You know Winchester?” This seems to perk Cole’s attention and your ears go hot.

“We went to law school together,” Toni explains. “Old friends.”

“And I’m Mick.” Mick smiles big and wide. “I managed a barrister’s office, but they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. So now I’m here.”

He seems like a nice guy and you’re looking forward to making new friends. Knowing someone in London can’t be a bad thing.

“And you are?” Toni’s tone is unmistakable, she’s dripping with annoyance and you haven’t even opened your mouth yet.

“Y/N,” you smile at her. “I’m a department liaison.”

“Ah, yes,” Toni tilts her head, examining you. “Sam told me all about you.”

You nearly fall out of your seat and Cole shifts beside you.

“Y/N has been invaluable to me.” Cole inserts himself. “Showed me the ropes when I first started.”

“She must be quite impressive given that we don’t even have her position in this office but yet, she’s here.”

There’s something bubbling under the surface, a hostility she’s either barely able to hide or not attempting to. Frankly, you're surprised she hasn’t lunged across the table yet.

“I’m sure we can find something for you to do.” Toni sighs.

“I’ll need her, we have several projects in the works.” Cole’s words are a clear declaration. He’s a calm and collected guy but he doesn’t like anyone bossing his people around.

“Of course,” she nods, strumming her fingers on the table, eyes narrowing as she looks you over. “I look forward to working with you both.”

The minute the two of you are alone, Cole turns to you and whistles. “What did you do to piss her off?”

“Nothing!” you sputter. “I’ve never met her before.”

“Maybe it’s the suit,” he jokes.

“You didn’t tell me you and Lady Toni go way back.” You get up from your perch on his bed, slinking toward him.

“I didn’t think about it.” Sam shrugs, writing in his notebook without looking up.

“She’s sort of...hostile.”

“That’s what makes her good,” he responds, turning a page. “She’s a pit bull.”

“Well, she definitely hates me. I’m not sure what you told her, but it must have been some real shit, because I could feel her death rays from across the room.”

“Did she say something to you?” He puts his pen down, glancing up.

“It’s less what she said and more how she said it.”

“If it becomes a problem you should let me know.”

“Okay.” You watch him, his jaw shifting while he thinks. You know this look well. He’s trying to decide if he’s going to tell you something.

“I want to be upfront with you.” He takes off his glasses, setting them on the table.

“I want that too,” you agree.

“I’m not so sure you do.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Toni used to…” He stops to regroup. “We were together for a period of time.”

“Together as in...fucking or dating?”

“Both,” he explains.

“Oh.” You have to admit, you’re taken aback and instantly jealous. Of course he’s had sexual partners before you, but you prefer not to think about that.

“It wasn’t anything like what we have. She’s a cold person. There was no emotional component, it was strictly physical. We’ve remained in contact over the years. She’s a trusted colleague and friend.”

You’re quiet, contemplating exactly what that means. There’s an immediate embarrassment that starts in your heart and flushes out until your cheeks are burning. The party at Nick Luster’s place was different, but the idea of the people you work with knowing about your dynamic, specifically you as a submissive, is a fact that you would prefer to stay between you and Sam.

There’s a complex push and pull. During sex, Sam will use the idea of public humiliation as a turn on, and it is. But only as a fantasy. The thought of Toni Bevell with that kind of intimate knowledge is too much.

“Did you two...were you like us?” You’re struggling to find the right thing to ask. “Did she enjoy the same things I do?”

“No,” he answers quickly, making no move to get up from his seat. “I got bored quickly, but she was easy and available.”

“I see,” you look away from him, unsure how you’re supposed to react to this information.

“Are you upset with me?”

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” You sit on the couch next to him.

“You look like you’re upset.”

“I’m jealous,” you admit, looking him in the eyes, those eyes that draw you in and hold you there. “Thinking about you with someone else is uncomfortable, but I’m glad you told me. Did you tell her about me? About us?”

“Yes.” He slides a hand over your knee. “She asked me about my life, and I told her I was seeing you. I trust her discretion.”

“Does she know about our...dynamic?”

Sam’s forehead wrinkles, displeased with your question.

“Of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you. I don’t talk about my sex life, especially with someone I’ve slept with.”

“Right.” You relax back against the couch. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

Sam looks tired. He’s been working sixteen-hour days and not getting enough sleep. It’s starting to take a toll.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” he offers. He’s hovering somewhere between annoyed with the implication and trying to remain open and honest.

“I don’t think so. I’m glad you told me,” you answer. The two of you look at each other in silence before you lean forward and kiss him on the lips. He’s tense, mouth in a tight purse as he returns the gesture. You pull back, examining him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing to do with you,” he sighs, giving your arm a squeeze.

“Do you want me to go so you can get some work done?” You point at his computer.

“No, I want you to stay.”

He looks...sad, maybe defeated or perhaps it’s something else. There’s been something going on for a while now. He’s been a freight train barrelling forward with a power and speed that’s unstoppable. It doesn’t seem to matter if he’s focused you, the house or his career, whatever has his attention he’s pushing further and faster as if he’s racing toward the finish line under some elusive threat.

“How’s your ass?” he asks, snapping you back to attention.

“Tender,” you grin, eyes fluttering away from his stare.

“I bet,” he rubs his thumb over his index finger, lost in thought before sitting back and tapping a hand on his leg. “Show me.”

“Now?” you look around at his open documents strewn over the table.

“Yes,” he shifts the tone of the interaction. “Now.”

There’s that familiar tingle, the excitement beginning to build. You rise to your knees, pulling the skirt up over your hips and crawl to him, laying carefully over his lap.

“Jesus,” he gasps. A big, warm hand softly smoothes over a butt cheek. “This had to hurt.”

He’s never seen marks like this on you before. You got a good look this morning at the black and blue welts across most of your backside. You’ve been encouraging him, and in turn yourself, for more each time. A little harder, a few more strokes. Not only does it build the pleasure for you but you love the ache it leaves for days afterward.

“I like it.” You wiggle in his lap.

“Stay still.” This command is accompanied by a small, stinging smack to your left side that makes you yelp in surprise.

He slips into this mode so easily and it’s clearly where he’s most comfortable. When the two of you are occupying this space, there are clearly defined roles, dominant and submissive, and he doesn’t have to think. This part of Sam operates on autopilot. He’s still learning to navigate the waters of being in a relationship, and truth be told, so are you. You’ve only dated a few guys and even that doesn’t compare. Sam is in a league of his own and there are times when you feel the same pressure of doing everything the right way.

When the two of you are like this, everything is suddenly effortless. The way he speaks, touches, fucks, it’s all unadulterated instincts. You and Sam have a natural rhythm, unlike any connection you’ve experienced before.

Sam’s uncomfortable with the entire conversation.

His “relationship” with Toni ended a decade ago and even then it was nothing more than an easy way to get laid. They were both busy, focused on nurturing fledgling careers. Neither with time to meet or date someone new. So they fucked.

Toni was far too much of a control freak to ever let him be the dominant one. She had trouble letting go, giving in, and in the end Sam realized that was what he needed, more so than blowing his load a couple of times a week. It was only satisfying for those few seconds of his release and then the satisfaction melted away like water down a drain. By the time he got out of bed, he was itching for something more.

He broke it off, told her they were done and walked out of her apartment when she started to argue. It was years before he heard from her again. And when she walked back into his life he was different, their dynamic was different. It was all business and she’s damn good at what she does. So when she was in the market and looking to make a change, he made her an offer, and a salary, she couldn’t refuse.

He could see the levity drain from your face the moment he said the words. We were together for a period of time.

He wasn’t sure if he should say anything but he’d made a promise to be upfront, and he’d want to know if you had screwed some guy he was working with. But then that look washed over your face and his stomach dropped.

It’s not that you’re skittish, in fact, you’ve proven to be quite the opposite. But he’s already put you through more than any rational person should put up with and he’d prefer to keep you from more unpleasant details.

Then you asked if she knew about the details. Red-cheeked and embarrassed you found the wherewithal to ask despite your apprehension. Instant offense rose into his throat, but he held back. He does that with you, only with you, holds back the harsher responses he lets fly on everyone else.

All he wanted was to redirect the conversation and shifting the entire scenario was the best way he knew how.

Now you’re laid out over his lap, bare ass still black and blue as you try desperately not to wiggle. God, your ass. He loves this ass, in fact, he loves every inch of your body. Someday Sam intends to take you on a vacation somewhere tropical, secluded, and keep you naked for a whole week so he can look at you whenever he wants.

But this will do for now.

“Sam,” you whine, both legs flexing.

Your voice snaps him back into the moment. Who knows how long he was lost in his own thoughts, but the waiting is part of what turns you on, so it works to his advantage.

“Shhh.” He smacks one cheek with an open palm, lighter than he normally would. You’re sporting some serious bruises. “Are you wet?”

“Yes,” you answer immediately, cheek pressed into the couch cushion.

Of course, you are. If he believed in fate he’d have to think you were made for each other. Sam needs control, now more than ever and you’re always willing to give it.

“I’m going to make you cum,” he explains, running a palm over your ass. “And that will be your last orgasm for a week. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mr. Winchester,” you whisper.

Jesus Christ. His cock throbs in his pants. Those words get him every fucking time.

“What do you want right now?” he asks. Moving his hand between your legs he strokes the tip of his thumb through your folds. He can feel the heat between your thighs before he even touches you. And then that wet slick inviting him inside.

“I want you to fuck me.” Your voice is fractured, a broken wheeze as you suck in a breath, vibrating at his touch.

He’d love to fuck you, but he won’t. Maybe later tonight, but not yet. He likes to make himself wait, the build up makes it even sweeter. Being inside, feeling your warm little body writhe and wriggle underneath him is a reward he only allows himself in moderation.

“You want me here?” He presses his thumb at the opening of your cunt and you moan, your entire body twisting across his lap.

“Yes, please!”

The best part about you is that there is no act. You don’t put on a show for him, you’re just as desperate as you sound.

“Not today,” he explains casually, swatting your ass.

“Fuck,” you groan, turning your head to rest on the other cheek. He can see your face, eyes squinched shut, mouth open as you struggle to stay in place.

“Control yourself,” he commands and you instantly stop squirming.

Sam grins, adjusting his hips underneath your weight. His erection is painful but this isn’t about him. This moment is about you and the ways he can make your body respond.

Dipping his thumb back into your slick, he rubs up and down between the lips of your pussy, the tip brushing your clit. You gasp and rock forward, mouth opening and closing. Once his thumb is coated in your own arousal he moves back up to your ass, pulling your cheeks apart and pressing his thumb at the tight ring of muscle.

He watches your face as he presses his thumb inside. Your body fights it at first but he just keeps the pressure until you open up and he pops inside. He normally uses more lubrication but you like the pain.

You groan, face twisting in pleasure and discomfort as he forces himself inside.

His reach is long enough that his other fingers can easily get to your clit and he begins to stroke up your dripping cunt and tapping your clit as his thumb moves in rhythm, in and out of your ass.

It’s an easy slide back and forth over your bud and your hips begin to move with his hand. He could tell you to stop, but he likes to watch you like this. Desperate to take more of whatever he’s got to give. Fuck. If this isn’t over soon he might cum in his pants.

“Sam,” you moan, eyes opening and closing, but seeing nothing. You’ve got that signature glassy-eyed stare you always get when you’re getting closer. “May I cum?”

“Yes,” he nearly chokes on his words. Shoving his thumb as deep as he can, he works your clit faster and harder. It’s not even thirty seconds before your orgasm takes over.

You let out a long, low moan as your ass tightens around his thumb and your empty cunt clutches around nothing. He loves watching you orgasm, he can see your body consumed in pleasure as you pulse and release again and again until you’re boneless, laying across his lap.

There’s no better feeling in the world than watching you like this.

Sam’s felt like this about one other person, but that was a long time ago. And he and Jess were kids. It didn’t feel like it at the time, but it’s true. That relationship and this thing with you are uncomparable.

He wants you all the time, he thinks about you obsessively and wonders when the universe is going to take it all away. You moan again and he slips back into the moment.

You’re soaked, glistening wet over your pussy and on his fingers. He pulls his hand away, fighting against the swelling lust.

Sam is finding less and less restraint when it comes to you.

“Fuck it,” he murmurs, sliding out from underneath you. Making a muffled sound you look back at him as he gets on his knees between your thighs. Sam watches, licking his lips as you raise your hips up and back toward him as an invitation. He unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants in record time, yanking his dick from his underwear.

Fisting his cock, he takes another moment to admire you like this, belly down and presenting yourself like you want it as bad as he does. He’s so fucking hard he can barely stand it as he lines himself up and catches the head of his cock in your pussy. He slides forward in one quick thrust as your body opens up, stretching wide to take all of him inside.

His eyes roll back in his head as his balls rock forward. You’re hot taffy squeezing around his cock, sopping, practically on fire from your orgasm and gripping every inch of his shaft as he pulls outs, only to push back in. You whine and pant, twisting on his cock, shoving your body against him begging for more. Sam wants more too, he wants all of your body and mind and anything else you’re willing to give to him. He wants you warm and wet like this. He wants you calm and quiet when you’re lying next to him at night.

He knows he’s got a big dick but the way your cunt grips him, the sight of your stretched out pussy sliding up and down his length makes him feel twice as big.

“Sam,” you moan his name, lifting yourself up onto your forearms, thrusting backward into the shove of his hips. He grabs a fist full of your hair, admiring the way your back arches and the angle changes. “Fuck, Sam, right there!”

“You like that?” he asks, jaw clenched tight as he thrusts fast. “Want me to cum inside you?”

“Yes! Please!”

You’re close to another orgasm, he knows your body well enough to recognize the wind up. Your ass is making a familiar skin-on-skin smacking sound as it meets his hips, accompanied by the wet, squelch of your cunt taking his cock again and again and again.

“Don’t cum,” he instructs, feeling his balls go tight. He smacks your right butt cheek twice, two quick whaps that send you reeling. He doesn’t really give a shit if you cum, in fact he hopes you do. There’s nothing better than you trying to fight it off and end up cumming on his cock when you can’t hold it back anymore.

“I can’t,” you sputter, twisting your neck to try and look at him. “Oh god, please. I’m gonna-”

And then you cum for the second time that evening, sucking and squeezing around him. Your tight little cunt flutters around his dick and he pushes as far inside as he can get as he cums.

It always starts as warmth in his stomach and a tingling in his balls. It builds and builds and then explodes, pulsing through his veins while he empties inside you. He huffs, mouth sealed shut, deep breath in and out through his nose as he comes back down from the high.

You’re lying still underneath him, back rising and falling while you wait for him to join you. With both hands on your hips he pulls his cock back, nice and slow so he feels the crown drag along your walls one final time. The head pops free and he waits, watches, feeling overwhelming satisfaction when his cum trickles back out, creamy white dripping over your clit.

“Sorry,” you try to look back at him, face bright red. You want so badly to please him, to obey. “I couldn’t help it.”

Sam smiles, sitting up and tapping your side as an indication to roll over.

“Bad girl,” he grins, settling back between your thighs, leaning down for a kiss. Your hot breath and eager lips as you press upward, always wanting more of this more intimate connection. “You need to learn discipline,” he mumbles over your lips, the tip of his nose pressing into your cheek.

“Good thing I have a dedicated teacher,” you laugh, thighs squeezing his waist and mouth finding his. You’re pressing up into his weight, wet pussy sliding over the skin just above the base of his cock. Everything about you is designed to distract him from the rest of the world. He wants to stay in this moment, to carry you to bed and get lost in the sweet smell of your hair and the warm, soft slide of your skin. But that’s not reality.

“I have a meeting.”

“Seriously?” You’re displeased, staring up at him.

“Drinks with senior staff.”

“With Toni?” you ask casually.

There is it. That hitch in your voice, left eye twitching, pupils contracting. You have a thousand tells despite the fact you consider yourself to have a solid poker face.

“Yes, she’ll be there,” he confirms, dipping down for one last kiss before peeling himself away, leaving you spread wide on his couch. He doesn’t want to look at you, can’t stand the line that forms in the center your forehead when you’re hurt and trying to conceal it. “I’m going to spend time with her while we’re here. It's unavoidable. And you’re going to work with her.”

“I know,” you sit up, that lazy wash of happiness draining away. “I just...I’m still processing the information that you two were lovers.”

“No,” Sam snorts, pulling his shirt over his head, and turning to face you. “Not lovers.”

“Fuck buddies,” you shrug, cheeks flushing a fresh shade of crimson.

“Is this a problem?” he asks, turning away and heading to the closet to find a fresh suit.

“No, it’s just, I don’t like it. I don’t have to like it. But I’m an adult and I’ll deal with it.” You’re mad at him, but it’s a valiant attempt at not letting it show.

If he weren’t so gun shy about being outed, he’d bring you with him. But you’ve made it clear you’re not ready for that yet and he understands. Being with him, publically, will change the entire trajectory of your life.

“I'll be back in a couple of hours.” He watches your back as you walk to the bathroom.

“Okay,” you raise a hand in acknowledgment without turning to look at him. “I hope you have a good time.”

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester smut #Sam Winchester Fanfic #sam winchester au

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inugamibeyi · 3 years

Photo

Finallyyyy I was able to draw my Kemono Jihen oc ! Nota bene : Today, on 02/25/2021, there hasn’t been any information in the manga (I’ve read 49 chapters) about mermaids ! So my oc is only based on the few things I know about the lore and my own imagination. This might explain mistakes about mermaids and Alma ! Now, let’s have fun with her ! -------------------

IEVANOV Alma - Mermaid 28 yo (born on March 11th) - born near Russia Favorite food : Tonkatsu Not-so-favorite food : cheese (which clashes with Shiki who wonders how you can dislike pizza’s main ingredient) Udon or Soba ? Doesn’t care as long as it’s tasty Okay with being on display ? Totally disagrees (has been exploited by a human for 8 years) First thing she did when she arrived at Tokyo : Buy clothes Favorite part of the human culture ? Books (especially whodunits) Least favorite part of the human culture ? Social networks (but mainly due to a fear of being found again by Tachibana. She avoids them as much as possible)

----------------------------------------- Alma is the only female employee from Inugami Detective Office. She’s also Inugami’s first employee, as she’s been there for 6 years (from 22 to 28). She considers that she has a debt towards Inugami as he freed her from the man that was exploiting her powers back in Hokkaido. Alma spent 8 years locked in the pool of a japanese’s millionaire’s mansion, Tachibana Haruto. He used her powers to stay young and healthy, mermaid tears being able to heal wounds, cure disease and stop and even reverse lightly the body’s aging.

Mermaids powers aren’t very strong compared to other kemonos. They seem to be mainly focused on surviving and escaping. It allows them : - A sharp vision : Mermaid have perfect eyes. Their sight is precise, they can see without difficulties on wide areas and can even see in the dark.

- A strong stamina and a slower aging : Compared to human, mermaids only needs 3 to 4 hours of sleep per night. Their bodies being used to swimming all day, they can endure longer days of work without feeling tired. Thanks to their healing and regenerating powers, it also appears that mermaid age slower.

- The Sing : Mermaid’s voice were mainly focused on tricking their prey so they can hunt and eat them easier. The song of a mermaid mainly affects persons that feel attraction toward women, but it doesn’t always work (uneffective on asexual person as an exemple) but mermaid can also decides to focus on one person (which Alma tried to do with Tachibana, but it didn’t work). With time, this ability mutated, leaving mermaid able to do many things while using their voice, such as, for exemple, erasing or replacing some memories.

- The wave : Basically, it’s a form of defense that allows mermaid to escape. It’s a big scream that’ll provoc a sound wave, leaving the enemy unable to move, when they simple don’t faint because of the sound. Isn’t deadly but buys time.

- Healing tears : Mermaid tears contains something (unlike Aya’s thread, nobody can perfectly explain what it is) that is able to heal wounds and prevent bodies from disease. Yet it doesn’t seems all efficient, because what the tears give you seems to be balanced by a shorten lifespan. Alma doesn’t really know how long she’ll be able to live, but she thinks she’ll live for 400 yo without having trouble.

Inugami freed her after hearing the story of a man in Hokkaido that doesn’t age and the other story of a woman who sings her sadness, making whoever hears her voice cry for hours. Alma being afraid that she’ll have nowhere to go, and most importantly, fearing she’ll be kidnapped again, choosed to stay by Inugami’s side, trying to assist him and help other kemonos. Being at first very naive and curious, about everything, Alma quickly learned how humans’ world works and got used to it. Her curiosity also helped her to adapt very fast, Alma being the kind of person who doesn’t have any trouble to focus and work for a long time (probably thanks to the fact that mermaids have to keep swimming no matter what they do, which helped her to develop a strong stamina and a small need to sleep). She was able to understand quickly the new world she was stepping in and had no problem to blend in. Alma grew up to be less naive and childish, turning into a person who tends to think a lot before acting, making her a good advisor for Inugami. She also tends to be tougher than him, especially on food. She doesn’t want him to eat junkfood all day because he’s too lazy to cook. She’s strongwilled and doesn’t hesitate to scold him on the points she judges important. Even if Inugami thinks she can be annoying, he knows that’s her way to care about them. When it comes to fighting, Alma’s abilities aren’t the best so what she can’t do with powers, she completes it with training and strenght. Inugami taught her how to shoot and realised her sharp vision would make her a nice sniper. He taught her how to use a longshot gun. When Mihai came, he was able to create her bullets that are effectives against Kemono. Alma’s relationships are pretty good in the Inugami Detective office. She just doesn’t like the way Shiki tends to ask for pizza almost everyday, despite the fact that she’s cooking for them when she’s in Tokyo. But he is a nice boy and he is smart. Despite her differences with Akira, she tends to be nice with him, as long as he doesn’t post her face on his social media (which truly makes him sad because he thinks Alma’s pretty face could boost his account). She likes the bubbly side o his personnality, she thinks he lightens the mood. Kabane made her unconfortable at first : this kid just didn’t said anything to her. He was just sitting quietly and watching, and doing the chores. But when Inugami explained her his past, she tried to help him to feel fine at the office, by learning him how to cook since he wanted her to do it. She took a liking in him, seeing a little bit of her younger self in that curious, yet naive young boy. Mihai... Oh Mihai... Perhaps it’s her worst relationship here. She knows he deserves his place at the office and doesn’t say he’s useless but... He’s just so annoying ! Annoying her, pulling the curls in her hair just to mess with her (”but they’re bouncy” he says)... So she just messes back with him, intentionally turning down the wifi, making some sarcasms... Yet they tend to help each other when they need to (Mihai helping her to create her weapon’s bullets, Alma translating for him documents but also the dialogues for his game and editing some videos for his channel). Guess it’s a “I like you/I hate you” relationship. Then Inugami, or “Kohachi” for her. She’s the only person who calls him by his first name, both of them being adults and Alma being here for many years now. Kohachi is Alma’s savior. She’s loyal to him for freeing her from Tachibana. He also the one who offered her a home and a work, leading her to be able to start a new life. He’s also the one who helped her to learn more about mermaids and how to use her powers. She did everything she could to make sure he understood how thankful she was. She took care of him, she helped him with work, paperwork, she helped him to gain more informations... With both of them actively helping each other, their relationship sure went fine... Too fine. Were they helping each other because they needed to or because they deeply cared about the other one ? Were they living under the same roof because Alma had nowhere else to go or because both of them wanted her to stay ? When they were together, they were flustered, yet happy. Flustered by the way people were calling her his wife. The way he thanked her for the food, the way she scolded him for his cigarettes, saying she didn’t want him to have troubles because of a shitty stick. The way they looked at each other, the sweet smell of her hair, the way she had to get on her tiptoes when she wanted to fix his tie... He remembered their few moments of weakness, ending in each other’s arms while the children were heavily sleeping, how they desperately moaned, swallowing their voice in order to remain silent, keeping the night they shared as a secret. And the next day, living as if nothing happened, pretending he stole her shampoo when Kabane noticed how Kohachi smelled like Alma. “ Hey, Kohachi ? - Hm ? - Let’s put an end to that. - ... To what ? - To our secret. - What ? Oh... I thought you were enjoying this... Guess I’m really that bad huh ? “

His sarcasm and his dumb playing only earned him a light slap on the arm, as Alma laughed. “I don’t want it to be a secret anymore, I... I think I like you... - You know you’ll have to deal with Akira putting us on Instagram to “celebrate it” ? - Oh, shit, I haven’t though about... Wait, is that a “yes” ? - What else could it be ?” As he was trying to light up his cigarette, she smiled while snatching it from him. He knew she was messing with him... Yet he just pulled her closer, his arms around her waist as she was putting hers behind his neck. It was their first kiss that wasn’t in a hurry, that wasn’t almost stolen while they were sharing their nights together. It felt different. Better. “ I love you... - Me too. “ They stayed in each other’s arms for a few seconds, now realising what happened. “ So... We’re a couple ? - Yup. Sounds like you’re stuck with me, young lady. - “Oh no, my crush is liking me back, I wonder how I’ll manage to survive that”. - I just wondered how you didn’t notice before... - I’m gonna break that cigarette, Kohachi. - Wait don’t, it’s expens- “ *snap* Oh. Oh shit. “ Guyyyys ! They confessed ! They confessed ! - Well... Shit. - Akira ! Don’t post that picture, I swear to god I’ll break that stupid phone !”

#kemono jihen #kemono squad now has a mom #inugami kohachi x oc #kemono jihen oc #kemono incidents

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staygoldponebone · 4 years

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A Dally Christmas

Pairing: n/a

Request: n/a

Summary: Dally Claus has come to deliver some gifts to his friends.

A/N: i hope everyone has a good day! Merry Christmas! this may be boring (and if so, sorry!!!) i hope you all enjoy!

Soda was wearing an ugly Christmas sweater with a Christmas cap, lying lopsided on his head. He peaked out from under the Christmas tree, letting out a joyous laugh. "Merry Christmas, guys!"

Pony groaned, walking sleepily to the couch. Him and Darry plopped down and faced the tv. It had been on all night, playing Christmas movie after Christmas movie. Right now, it was playing A Christmas Carol. That’s about the time the front door swung open and Two-Bit, Steve, and Johnny made their way inside.

"Hey, guys!" Two-Bit exclaims, his fake Santa beard falling under his chin.

"Hey," the Curtis brothers reply in disharmony.

"What's with the beard?" Soda wondered.

Steve took a seat next to him. "He volunteered to be this year's Santa Claus at the department store."

"No," Two-Bit intervened. "My mom volunteered me. It sucks."

"You seemed to be gettin' real comfy in that costume, there, Two-Bit," Johnny chuckled, sitting next to Darry. "You sure it's that bad?"

"Ye-" Two-Bit sighed. "No. I love it." The Santa-greaser adjusted his beard as he went to rummage through the icebox.

"So, Two-Bit, where's the rest of your costume?" Darry asks.

"My car," Steve answered.

Pony looked toward the kitchen. "Are you gonna put it on?"

Greaser Santa popped open a beer and surveyed the room, then cracked a smile. "Of course." He quickly exited the house as the rest of the room turned to the tv. In minutes, Dally arrived. He was wrapped in a thick coat and when he greeted the gang, his voice was muffled.

"I brought gifts!" He announced, unzipping the outerwear.

A bunch of newspaper-wrapped presents fell to the floor along with a box of hot cocoa and a plate wrapped in foil. Pony motioned to it. "What's that?"

Dally shrugged. "Two-Bit's mom gave it to me."

Soda and Steve raced over to it, shoving each other out of the way and Johnny peered out from behind the two. "What is it, guys?"

"Cookies!" They exclaim, pulling off the foil.

Pony got up and went for the plate too, only to get elbowed in the chin. "Hey!" He exclaims. "What's the big idea?!"

"Yeah," Darry agreed. "It wouldn't kill you two to share."

With that statement from Darry, the two handed the plate around and Dally handed out gifts. "Here, kid." He pushed a box over to Ponyboy. "It's a book. Don't ask which one because I don't know. I just saw it and thought of you. Merry Christmas."

"Thanks, Dal..." The boy said with uncertainty.

"No problem." From there, he turned to Soda with a weirdly shaped gift. "And for you, Pretty Boy."

The handsome greaser ripped the gift open as fast as he could and grinned, holding up the red and green flannel that he'd been telling Steve about. Sure it probably wasn’t the top thing on Soda’s list, but the gift was sweet. "Aw! Dal, thanks!"

Dally laughed. "And look, man, I'm not sayin' you have a terrible wardrobe or anything. I'm just sayin' I wouldn't be caught dead in a shirt like that."

Soda nudged him cheerfully. "It's wonderful!"

Dal nodded, then handed Darry a small present. The eldest Curtis was hesitant. "What is it?"

"Open it."

After a while, Darry sighed and ripped away the newspaper. With a little black box left, the big guy turned to Dally, who motioned for him to continue. Once he opened the box, a gasp left his lips and he closed it quickly. He handed the gift back.

"What?" Dal said plainly. "You don't like it?"

"It's not that I don't like it, I just- I can't take it."

"Why not?"

"It's expens-"

"Eh. Eh. Eh." Dally pushed the gift back into the big guy. "I didn't buy it."

Darry looked at the box, then opened it once more and pulled out a brand new watch. With a defeated sighed, he smiled. "Thank you, Dallas."

"You're welcome." He gave a nod before turning to Steve. "Now for my favorite grease monkey."

Steve sat up as a couple of bigger boxes were pushed over to him.

"The top box's yours," Dally explains.

"Who gets the other one?" Soda asks, glancing over at his friend's gift.

"Evie."

Steve furrowed his brow. "But why-"

Dally held up a hand. "You'll thank me later."

"But I don't-"

"Sylvia helped me pick it out, ok? Now, open your gift before I take it back."

Steve's hands went up in defense before he tore the newspaper to find a little toy train and he beamed. He had wanted one of those toy trains since he was seven.

Dally saw Steve's reaction and tried to play it cool. "I heard you talking about wanting one or something."

Steve nodded and the two shook hands, then Dally picked up a medium-sized box and held it out for Johnny. "Johnnycake."

Johnny opened the present in excitement, revealing a box of a brand new pair of shoes. "Shucks, Dal..."

"I don't know if they're the right size, but," the tough greaser shrugged, "your shoes looked like shit so I got you better ones."

The small boy chuckled softly, putting the shoes on. "Thanks, Dally!" Though the shoes were a bit big, Johnny didn't care. Dally was right, his shoes were shit, so he was thankful for the new ones. He loved them.

"Now where's Two-Bit?" Dally lit a cigarette, then patted his jacket pocket with a laugh. "I got his gift right here."

"Ooh!" Soda exclaimed. "What is it?"

"It's-"

The front door swung open. "Ho! Ho! Ho! I totally took my clothes off outside and honestly, I think your neighbors loved it."

Everyone turned to Two-Bit, who was now in full costume and Dally burst into laughter. "I get what she meant, now!"

Everyone turned to Dally and Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow. "Get what who meant?"

"Here's your gift," Dally laughed. Everyone watched as Dal pulled a tube out of his pocket that was decorated with a bow. "From your mom. Good luck with that rash, Santa."

#the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #dallas winston #sodapop curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders imagine #the outsiders fanfiction #johnny cade #the outsiders fluff #steve ra ra randle #the outsiders imagines #evie eve everson #two-bit mathews #sylvie sylv sylverson

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lokbobpop · 3 years

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Expensive

involving high cost or sacrifice an expensive hobby. 2a : commanding a high price and especially one that is not based on intrinsic worth or is beyond a prospective buyer's means. b : characterized by high prices expensive shops.

The first records of expensive come from the 1620s. It is the adjective form of the older noun expense, which means “cost” or “something that needs to be paid for.” Expense derives from the Latin verb expendere, meaning “to expend” (“to pay out or spend”). The suffix -ive makes expensive an adjective.

Expensive expen dive ex pen size ex pensive

Writing expensive

Well i wanted to use a c instead of a s and i did a couple of times so far when writing this word it must always be corrected on auto then normally as i always seem to feel its a C and not an S

Reading expensive

I like expensive thing but i dont like paying fro expensive things i seem to keep myself within this personality all the time of getting the best for less than but only ever really wanting the best all the time for as cheap as i can get it i see that i let this consume me all the time hoping people will let go of there most desired treasures for next to nothing so i can have them yes thats why im at the dump all the time collection people shit and th hoarding it all the time in all the sheds.

I think of china that expensive furniture that’s expensive but most of all houses that are expensive this is my greatest desire i see to own houses expensive house I could look at houses in there millions for years i just love the beauty of expensive homes I think about what it would be like to live in one they are so beautiful some houses in the million i just love the luxury of them.

My money god yes i cant not bring it up i live within it but i am no longer of it where i would think about something i wanted to buy for days months and year go into so much desire within i wanted it and then when it sold i would be gutted and i would be in grief of this piece going for another years i still remember pieces ive not been about to get hold of and lost to another and the grief is real as i had let my mind torment me for losing it when it was my mind all along that didn’t let my buy it crazy yes crazy they same person keeping mysel fin torment of i want ot but its to expensive and them losing it and feeling devastated i lost it for years yes years why fuck mind what were yo playing at?

Jewelry comes to mind like gold jewelry which makes me thing of all my gold jewelry being stolen but i not see this was i dont have much dotn take from me im poor i have little yes i do or have dont this seein other have more and seeing myself as less than and i have to be cautious of what i do I mustn’t loss it it’s precious becasue i dont have much wheni have so much more that 60% of the world population ffs

Saying expensive

Thoughts of not wanting to spend the money i have when im told the price of something money god goes no way imagine all that money no in your bank account anymore go it it says imagine its all gone and i go into fear of lack of not having.

Jewelry again come up i dont have any or desire any really

Food not is very expensive here in macau it feels like double it way only a year ago so much money for normal stuff.

The whole world has become more expensive since lockdown people have made money and lost money housing is so expensive now

Does this definition support me no my money god plays havoc with expensive things it can handle buying or losing money and when things have gone not to be bought anymore it cry’s it hasn’t got it and cant have it yes its a fucker lol

Expensive ex spend sive

Expensive

To live within means and what is best for me and all to be need only what is necessary and no more to be practical to be calm stable

Is it worth its expense

To be priceless myself to see myself as so priceless and not things outside only in

I will live this word with not getting caught up within the mind of the money god and grief of loss

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hellokpopoutfit · 7 years

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me @ bighit : listen here, i need my boys to shine, not just shine-shine ya kno, i want the sun to shit his pants okay? Their outfits must be lit af, must bring fire to the red carpet idc, i want a katniss everdeen-shit-ish outfits get me? My boys are outstanding so does their outfits imma being clear?? I don’t want to know how much, i just want them to break necks, i want every-damn-one turn their heads to see them. You better call bbmas staff and tell’em to bring some water bc bts will make stars sweating hard while questioning their sexuality and their path career. I want all the paparazzi and journalists loosing their shit around the boys asking to book them. I want all the stylists shakin realizing their error and directly send a cv to burger king okay? I want that the only sounds that my boys will hear during the red carpet are gasps, feel me enough ? My boys need to look expen$ive

Do i make myself crystal clear? bc i’m dead serious now

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morethanithoughtofficialblog · 4 years

Text

Chapter 19: I don’t deserve any of you

In which you and Sans are anxious as fuck... although not in the same scenario.

*Your POV*

My mind was wandering all over Miriam when I was on my trip to finally come back to my apartment. I feel really anxious about her being way too smart for her age... and for her own good. She... she just understands things she isn't supposed to understand! She... no. She's too innocent. If she keeps up with her "let's figure it out" shit, she's going to lose all of the childhood's sparkle before ten. And believe me, that sucks. More if it was your own fault.

Soon enough, I was already walking my way home. It was dark outside and, therefore, I quickened my pace. I don't want to be paranoid (I am), but it's not safe to go outside all by yourself in the night. Less if you are a woman. A grown, developed, and not-able-to-defend-her-lame-ass woman. I tried my best to not look scared, but I surely failed on that. The first image you can get about me is being all quirky and overreactive. The quietest of sounds could have beaten the crap out of me. I... I will probably die by a heart attack at this point. Which it's something I'm also scared of.

I arrived home safely, and as soon as I put a foot in my messy apartment, I fell to my knees. Lately, I feel like nothing in my life is under control. Everything just goes its own way, and I feel like I can do anything about it...

I can't let things be that way.

Not when I promised myself that I would take initiative.

I looked over that dark notebook laying on my small table, and I grabbed it seconds later. I read all those things on the list and sighed, knowing it was a lot. Yes, sure, there was the "go to a professional" thing, but there were more. Things like "play the electric guitar again", "read more", "be more open", "try to contact your family", and a lot more. Things I haven't done a long time ago: months, years, or even decades...

There have been seven years since I contacted a member of my family.

Suddenly, a shiver went down through my spine, and I gulped quietly. My own problems and worries have put me apart from them, but now that I'm an adult... maybe, and just maybe, I can clear my agenda and try to do something with them. I miss them, but I was really clear when I told them that I would not be able to see them again until I got my life together. They admired me for that kind of strength, or so I think. I hope they are capable to understand.

Now, playing electric guitar again may be a bit harder... considering I live in an apartment. I can't put loud music so the chances of me playing loud music are even lower. However, if I can find a way to play it somewhere else... I'll do it.

After buying a new one, of course. I sold mine years ago.

I checked my cellphone subconsciously and saw that I had like a million messages pending. Toriel, Papyrus, Alphys, Mettaton... all of them texted me for... god knows why.

Ok, check them out!

So...

Toriel was asking me if I wanted to visit her home tomorrow. She specified that everyone was invited, so it would be a social gathering with the same group of friends.

How nice, but do I really deserve that?

...

Maybe not.

But fuck it.

You: Of course I'll go!

You: Thank you so much for inviting me!

Mrs. Toriel: It's nothing, my child

Mrs. Toriel: I understand you have work, so you can come here the hour is more convenient to you.

Mrs. Toriel: The others will probably be here by 2 pm.

Mrs. Toriel: So you decide

Wow, isn't that accessible?

You: Thanks, Mrs.

You: I'll see what time I can arrive

Mrs. Toriel: Very well, then

Mrs. Toriel: We will see you tomorrow

You: Sure thing, thanks

I felt really numb at rereading her messages and really happy about it. Even though one of the problems was already solved, they were still willing to meet me out of work issues! I smiled wider, considering I could finally have better friends than I ever have made.

I checked Alphys next, who was suggesting me to go to their home sometime to see anime. There have been years since I've ever seen an anime, but I accepted anyways. Last time I was invited to see one... it was a hentai. I immediately ran away. But I don't think Alphys would be so inconsiderate to actually put hentai, right?

After watching how she rambled about how many animes were here on the Surface, I noticed how she has the same problem as I do... anxiety. Sans has some of my problems as well, yes, but to find someone with anxiety really... makes me feel welcomed. Because they know she has this problem and, still, they accept her. And she accepts me, too...

I should hang out with her more often.

Mettaton was just telling me if we could someday talk about him entering into TV shows and stuff like that. He also asked me if I thought that a karaoke contest for tomorrow would be a good idea. Now, people have told me I can sing, but...

I just sing for myself.

That's the problem.

I don't think I'll be able to show up and sing in front of all of them. Honestly, I prefer playing music and hum the melody. But singing without an instrument in front of me? Oh, that's messed up.

But...

I wasn't able to tell him no.

Don't judge me, please! I don't want to ruin the fun nor contradict him! My anxiety doesn't let me do so. And so I told him that it'll be a great idea...

Fuck my life.

I checked on Papyrus's messages quickly trying to forget the mistake I just made, and...

Read it yourself.

The Great Papyrus!: HELLO HUMAN!

The Great Papyrus!: I WANTED TO DISCUSS SOMETHING WITH YOU

The Great Papyrus!: YOU SEE, SANS HAS BEEN REALLY DOWN LATELY...

The Great Papyrus!: YOU SEEM TO KNOW A LOT ABOUT HIS PROBLEM, AND...

The Great Papyrus!: I JUST NEED HELP, HUMAN!

Oh sweet Lord, what happened now? He...

Oh, don't tell me.

You: Papy

You: Since when you've been watching him like this?

You: I mean, on edge

The Great Papyrus!: EVER SINCE WE WENT OUT OF THE PSYCHOLOGIST

The Great Papyrus!: HE JUST KEEPS HIDING IN HIS ROOM MORE THAN USUAL

The Great Papyrus!: AND MUMBLES THINGS TO HIMSELF...

The Great Papyrus!: I HEARD HIM SOBBING YESTERDAY, TOO

Oh no.

I flinched at the sight of what Papyrus just told me. I know it isn't a big deal, but... it is certainly bad. Mostly because that's what happens to me too.

Psychologists aren't... the best for my case. I prefer other types of therapy, but I honestly haven't find the correct one...

Sans seems to have the same issue.

Someone that openly hears your problems out of nowhere seems so... surreal. Then, when you think about it as they only do it for money, the feeling of being alone gets worse. I never thought Sans would have the same issue, and now I was feeling extremely guilty. I, in the first place, was the one who suggested Papyrus go to one. I'm such an idiot, I should have known.

You: Papyrus, try to set him into another session with the psychologist

You: If he feels bad again, try to set him into another type of therapy

The Great Papyrus!: LIKE WHICH ONE?

Shit.

You: I certainly don't know, Papyrus

You: But exercise can help

You: According to what I've been told, Sans is really lazy

The Great Papyrus!: YOU ARE RIGHT INDEED, HUMAN

The Great Papyrus!: I WILL TRY MY BEST

You: I bet

You: I' ll try to help him as well

The Great Papyrus!: THANKS, HUMAN!

The Great Papyrus!: YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND!

Am I? I certainly don't know. Oh well, I'll try my best to be supportive! Papyrus can't help Sans all by himself, and I know that the short skeleton is having a hard time. He's been nice lately... and I would love to be able to help him.

I hope they can be okay.

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*Papyrus's POV*

After talking with the young human, I felt determined enough to go on and search on the Internet the best activities for my brother. He is lazy, yes, but he's really talented! For example, when we were younger, he used to sing for a living. Everyone in the Underground adored his voice, even Mettaton recognized multiple times that Sans is better at singing than him!

But now... he doesn't like to show his talent anymore. He gave up and said that there were more important things to do...

But I disagree.

I know that Sans loves singing with a passion! I know that he misses being cheered by all the monsters, including a few times the King himself! I know that he really likes singing!

Therefore, I think there's nothing more important than that. Because that's what he likes, what he dreams about! I bet he still thinks about those wonderful times where it was just the microphone and him, singing at the top of his nonexistent lungs, and making everyone feel the pain and love those songs expressed. He loves rock, just as I have noticed the human does as well. He tends to sometimes hum the songs because he still loves them! I can't let him go away from his dream!

He... is also kind of a nerd.

A good nerd.

I remember that the work that excited him the most was being in the lab and do experiments for the Underground's own good. He always has loved science with a passion, but he just left it because of dad! I should be angry with our father for that, but... I think he deserves a second chance. Even if he has treated Sans horribly these last years!

I...

I just want Sans to be happy.

Toriel invited all of us to go to a social gathering in her house, and I really hope this can lift up his spirit!

...

I just remembered an awful joke he made days ago.

I groaned silently and chuckled a bit for myself, while I was still looking for something he could do. Maybe the psychologist wasn't a great idea since Sans likes to bottle up his feelings. If he doesn't say his issues with I, the Great Papyrus, then why would I think he would say them to someone else?!

I continued my research, looking for several activities for him to do. Maybe we can buy a ukulele; he loves that instrument! Not more than the trombone, but he likes to play old rock songs that are normally soft. He also likes Elvis Presley a lot, and most of his songs can be arranged into ukulele! So yeah! That little guitar can surely help!

Or maybe play battery... but I think is more expensive. Besides, with no one playing an electric guitar or another instrument, there's really no point... or well, at least for me! He should have an instrument that he can play as a solo!

He also used to read a lot before he became so sad. He loves writing stories, mostly science fiction with complicated terms. And he's a great story-teller as well! He is the one that reads me my bedtime story each night, and his interpretation is just perfect! He rambles about all the book he has loved...

He is a professional reader! I remember that time he finished "The Count of Monte Cristo" in one day! And when I looked at the book, it was really long! More than a thousand pages, that's for sure!

I'm... I'm proud of what he really is. Not everyone gets to see the dedicated and passionate side of him, the side of him caring about a lot of things. Everyone classifies him as lazy and careless-and he may be- but he has feelings and hobbies. Sans usually feels embarrassed of them... he just wants someone to share these things freely! Yes, he has me (of course), but he wants someone else!

"SANS! COME HERE!" I screamed, knowing that lazybones won't hear me if I don't do so "WE NEED TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN DO!"

"lea..."

"WHAT?!"

"leave..."

"LEAVE WHAT?!"

"leave... ah... eh?"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

"leave me the fuck alone papyrus!"

"NO BROTHER! I CAN'T FUCKING LEAVE YOU ALONE! YOU NEED FUCKING HELP, AND YOU'LL HELP ME GET IT!"

"fuck you!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What is going on in here?!" My mother shouted, and we both went silent. I normally don't explode so quickly, but I'm becoming desperate. I know Sans feels sad and thinks that nothing has a purpose, but it isn't fair he is not helping! This is, overall, for him to be fine!

I tried my best to reason with him. He didn't respond to any of my questions. I could have had a better conversation with our pet rock. Arial did try but went worse than I did. I returned searching on the Internet, now sitting on the couch instead of the dinner table. Mom decided to make dinner tonight, so I let her train! When she gets ready, I'll teach her how to be a master chef like I, the Great Papyrus! NYEH HEH HEH!

I was getting enthusiastic, and for an instant, I thought that cooking may help Sans. I know I said he doesn't like it, but... it's just like science, right? If he can do Chemistry, then he can easily cook his breakfast! Or spaghetti!

A door being closed was heard, which made me turn around in hope. There he was! Sans, my only brother plus my biggest admirer, was finally out of his room! However, when I was about to go towards him, he ran through the stairs and went for the door.

"fuck it" I heard him mutter under his breath.

And before I could react, he shut the main entrance closed.

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*Sans's POV*

I was in my room, doing nothing but getting more depressed. Not even memes were helping anymore, which it's to worry. They are way better than antidepressants, but... are they enough? Probably not.

"SANS!" Papyrus screamed as if his voice wasn't loud enough for me to hear "COME HERE! WE NEED TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN DO!"

Oh hell no.

I know that Papyrus is trying his best to help me, and I do appreciate it, but God... not even I know how to help myself. I don't know what's gotten into me, either! I think it's the thought that everything may reset at any moment, but I don't know! I don't fucking know if that's the problem in the first place!

"leave me alone, papyrus" I answered quietly, trying to not be harsh. I love my brother, I don't want to be rude to him...

"WHAT?!" Knew it was WAY too quiet.

"leave, papyrus, leave"

"LEAVE WHAT?!" Oh my God.

"leave me, papyrus! leave... ah... eh? oh right. leave... me, ok? leave me alone!"

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Oh, you didn't.

"leave me the fuck alone papyrus!"

"NO BROTHER! I CAN'T FUCKING LEAVE YOU ALONE! YOU NEED FUCKING HELP, AND YOU'LL HELP ME GET IT!" Oh, so now you do hear, huh? Only when curses are involved, of course. Oh, brother, you'll REGRET IT!

"fuck you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, forgetting for a moment that it's my beloved brother who I'm screaming to.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" SHUT UP!

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Arial then intervened, making us shut our freaking mouths. Before silence became way too unbearable, Papy tried to reason with me. I didn't answer, feeling to dread for words. Arial tried as well, and with more reason, I didn't respond. They gave up eventually (predictably as well), the feeling of dread still on my chest. I... I just keep pushing people away from me! They ask me, they want to know! God, I'm such a jerk.

I got out of my room then, not knowing exactly what I was about to do. My brother noticed me, Arial didn't, and Gaster was out... again. Being successful in his job... being able to wear a lab coat once again. I got angrier and went downstairs immediately.

"fuck it" I muttered, in hope that no one heard me.

And I went outside.

It was pretty dark already, no people seemed to be walking around. I stopped myself from breaking down and went downtown, not sure of what I was about to do. God, I behave like an edgy teenager. I'm twenty-two, for fuck's sake. Shouldn't I have my life better settled? Instead, it's messier than before. Thanks, Surface! Just what I needed!

Neon lights make the city brighter. Artificial lights. I wanted to come to the Surface so I could see the stars... but now it's impossible. I groaned and continued walking, feeling stupid 'cause one day I thought this will be better. I was wrong. I was so goddamn wrong.

Before I realized, there I was... in front of a bar.

Oh no, not again Sans! This is not going to make things better...

But it's gonna make them disappear... at least for a while...

Fuck it.

I went inside and a predictable sight greeted me, along with the smell of fast food and alcohol combined with a bit of nostalgia. Either flirting, babbling or... making out. All the people at this point were already insane. But I continued walking.

"Hello sir" A young woman waved at me, and I waved back "What would you want?"

"is vodka available?"

"Sure thing! Is there anything else you would want?"

"a bottle of ketchup... i'll pay for it, i swear"

The first shot of vodka came with a bottle of ketchup by its side. I took the shot then drank a bit of ketchup, and there it was: that fantastic flavor I got to feel in Grillby's for the first time. I ordered another shot. And another. And another. I lost the count and already had to order another bottle of ketchup. I forgot everything.

Soon after that... I think I was flirting with a drunk chick or something. She flirted back but, thankfully, nothing happened...

Nothing, indeed.

I lose consciousness after one minute of flirting, falling roughly on a table before I heard a weak wave of happy laughter...

Ah, unconsciousness.

I really missed you.

#more than i thought #more than i thought fanfiction #sans x reader #sans #x reader #chapter 19

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