#this post was a long time coming but I was busy rewatching the show again and again to take it all in
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It’s been almost a week and I still struggle to put into words how magical and beyond expectations GIFT was for me, but today I will try.
I don’t know what I expected from the words “ice story” but I really didn’t think we were going to travel into his mind in such an intimate way. Of course, he only shows us what he wants to show and he’s always been very good at communicating with us while maintaining his privacy and mystery, but last week’s show demonstrated such courage in showing his vulnerabilities with no hesitations and no softening of the most painful parts, it left me speechless.
So let’s start from the obvious: the absolute magic of the scenography, the lights, the choreography, just the wonder of it all made it a really once in a life type of show (although I’m sure at some point he will be able to top this, too). I’m glad they released the picture above because it’s an effect they used during notte stellata, people said it looked magical and they were right!
I expected to see many programs, but honestly not this many! He was so generous especially towards the end, every time I thought “ok this is the end” he would come out to skate again and it doesn’t surprise me he was utterly spent after all of that. He gave everything, like he always does, and more.
I was already overwhelmed with feeling when he skated to haru yo koi and then seimei, and he did with such joy I was moved to tears. I think he had a new lightness to him and it warmed my heart to see him like that. And as if that wasn’t enough, that last speech when he started skating freely completely destroyed me. Too many emotions at once 🥲
As for the monologues, probably the part that made this show so special to me the most, I think I will have to do another post only to talk about that! The different mediums and types of art, the profound and resonating meaning, all the different layers of interpretation…I was blown away.
It was amazing seeing so many people cheering loudly for him and react to the show, it made everything more exciting and he really deserved to receive all that love and support once again.
I don’t have the words to express how grateful I am to have been able to experience this, it truly felt like Yuzuru was gifting us something invaluable, I will never forget it 💙
#yuzuru hanyu#gift#this post was a long time coming but I was busy rewatching the show again and again to take it all in#and there would be more to talk about still#it really is the gift that keeps on giving#what an amazing experience#yuzu best person and artist confirmed#we're blessed to have him
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Sakura Haruno Appreciation Post
Rewatching Naruto and reading the manga has made me feel like posting about one of my favorite characters in the series, Sakura. At first, nothing about her really stood out to me. She was the typical teenage girl who had a crush on a guy who really didn't seem to care about her at all. As time went on, though, small things about her stood out to me. Her affinity for genjutsu (something that I wished Kishimoto touched on more) and her chakra control was better than both Naruto's and Sasuke's, something that I wasn't expecting from her at all. It's not like she was much of a fighter at this point, and she needed protecting more often than not. Sakura's character didn't really start to peak for me until the chunin exams in the Forest Of Death. This scene in particular:
The moment she cut off her hair to free herself from Kin's grip, I knew that she meant business, that she would finally start taking her life as being a ninja more seriously. Why? Because she cut her long hair, something that she was proud of simply because she heard a rumor back when she was a little girl that said that Sasuke liked girls with long hair. Sakura was no much for the sound ninja, of course, and she's eventually bailed out by Ino and her team, and later on by Sasuke himself when he wakes up. Seeing how beat up she was because of that fight, and how she wouldn't back down because she wanted to protect her teammates no matter what, made her character grow on me.
Then we get up to the preliminary round of the chunin exams, and it's there when one of my favorite fights in the chunin exams happens: Sakura vs Ino.
This fight is where Sakura slowly starts to sprout from a bud into a fully bloomed flower. She takes her fight against Ino seriously, and gives it her all. When Ino used the mind transfer jutsu on her, I thought that that would be it for Sakura. But she managed to kick Ino out of her mind thanks to inner Sakura (another aspect of her character that I wish Kishimoto did more with, but I get why she just sorta vanishes after a while) and the match resumes between them. It ends in a tie, but it was still a really good fight regardless. It showed that Sakura really can fight if she wants too, and it put an end to her rivalry with Ino, allowing them to become friends again. After this fight I definitely had more respect for her character.
When Sasuke eventually leaves the village to join Orochimaru, Sakura felt that she was worthless because not only was she unable to do anything, but Naruto got hurt in his fight against Sasuke because of the promise he made to her to bring Sasuke back. So, she does something that I didn't expect her to do: ask Tsunade to take her on as an apprentice.
We can see how those three years of training with Tsunade paid off, since Sakura can not only stand toe to toe in a fight against Kakashi fighting alongside Naruto, she also has enough strength to take on an Akatsuki member like Sasori:
This fight definitely showed how much better as a fighter Sakura has gotten in three years. Yes, I'm well aware that Lady Chiyo helped her in this fight, but she still did an excellent job of holding her own. Aside from her physical prowess, we also see how far she's come as medical ninja as well. Going from reviving a dead fish to doing something as critical as cutting Naruto open to pump his heart in order to keep him alive during the 4th Great Ninja war:
And it's during this time that she was finally able to stand next to Naruto and Sasuke in battle, instead of always walking behind them and watching their backs get farther and farther away from her. Idk about you guys, but watching these three perform the summoning jutsu at the same time, doing their own three way deadlock like the original legendary sanin before them was so fucking badass:
We already knew that both Naruto and Sasuke had long since surpassed their masters, Jiraiya and Orochimaru. But until this moment, it was unclear if Sakura had truly surpassed Tsunade or if she was just on her level. This scene right here definitely showed that Sakura has indeed surpassed Tsunade, making her, Naruto, and Sasuke the new legendary sanin.
Watching Sakura grow throughout the series was really nice to see, not to mention inspiring for me to watch as a young girl. Her growing determination to better herself and stand the same level as her teammates is why she is and always will be one of my favorite characters in the series, if not my most favorite character.
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The Decay of Complex Characters and Character Development in Helluva Boss (Stolas and Octavia’s Relationship: Part 2 of 2)
Part 1 here
I felt I had to make separate part just for “Seeing Stars” because my other post was getting way too long, and I wanted to really focus on the treatment of Stolas and Octavia’s by the writers.
Please know that this is JUST my opinion and not a personal attack on HB’s writers or creators. I’m talking and venting a bit about my personal frustrations with the series regarding what I perceive as being MAJOR plot holes and inconsistencies in the show’s writing.
As of right now—and I do want to acknowledge this could change, but as of right now—it largely seems like any character development Stolas may have gone through after “Loo Loo Land” has been completely tossed out the window.
I personally believe that the writers of Helluva Boss think that they are writing Stolas to be more complex, but he has yet to have to actually be held accountable for his actions, and for breaking his promises to Octavia.
And the way the writers present him has really come to bother me. So I wanted to talk more about it, and about how Stolas cannot become a well-written, complex, and engaging character until the writers let him actually be imperfect and complex.
To talk about this more in depth, I gotta go over the second episode that features Octavia, Season 2, Episode 2 of Helluva Boss—“Seeing Stars”
(TLDR at the end)
To start, “Seeing Stars” is narratively very similar to “Loo Loo Land”. By “very similar” I mean that it’s almost the exact same plot, but frustratingly more clunky. Here is an extremely short summary:
The main crux of the conflict in “Seeing Stars” is that Stolas forgot about a promise he made to Octavia to go see a meteor shower, and ends up neglecting her.
Specifically, he forgets because he is too busy yelling at Stella over the phone due to their contentious divorce. Octavia feels let down by her father again, and runs away to the human realm to see the meteor shower on her own.
Stolas and I.M.P. panic and go after her. Eventually Loona finds her and gives her a speech that essentially boils down to: “everyone’s got hardships and problems but Dads ESPECIALLY have problems. Your Dad is trying really hard right now. So that should count for something right?”
And that comforts Octavia in the moment. Octavia and Stolas reunite, he asks her why she ran away, and she tells him she was trying to see the meteor shower he promised to take her to. Stolas is horrified that he’d forgotten, starts to apologize, but Octavia cuts him off and tells him “it’s okay”, forgiving him.
I rewatched “Seeing Stars” before making this post to make sure I hadn’t misremembered any crucial plot points.
I thought I remembered that, at the very end of the episode, Stolas apologized to Octavia for breaking his promise and then she told him it was okay.
It turns out I had misremembered things, because the writers literally kept Stolas from saying sorry.
This leads to the main criticism I have of Stolas as a character, especially from a writing standpoint. The narrative does not allow for Stolas to ever truly be in the wrong, or for anyone, including Stolas, to fully acknowledge that he is in the wrong.
And I know that it’s easy to go “BUT LOOK! Octavia says “I know, Dad”! She KNOWS that Stolas is sorry.
That’s fair, but for me personally, I think an EARNEST and verbal apology is needed here to show that Stolas has grown.
I’m very lucky in that I have a good relationship with my parents, but that doesn’t mean we never fought or they never said or did things that hurt me.
I distinctly remember a time when my Mom was apologizing to me for something she did, I said “it’s okay” and she immediately replied “No, it’s not okay. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me”.
That really changed my perspective on conflict. I think a lot of people, including myself until then, consider “it’s okay” to be a form of saying “I forgive you”. And I’m not trying to police like…basic language and substitute words. But I DO strongly believe in taking responsibility for when you hurt someone.
In all honesty, I think this scene actually could have worked for Stolas’ character development if he had actually acknowledged that, “No, it’s not. It’s not okay that I broke my promise to you. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me, but if you can’t right now, I understand.”
THAT, to me, shows character development. That would’ve shown that Stolas is, at the very least, trying to make an actual effort to change for the sake of Octavia.
Instead, though, SHE apologizes Stolas for running away to try and see the meteor shower that HE promised to take her to. And the writers refuse to even let Stolas say he’s sorry.
Let Stolas say he’s sorry, writers! Let Stolas be in the wrong!!! I promise it won’t make people hate his character!
I mean, jfc, just look at the fandom around Hazbin’s Valentino. That guy could not be more evil if he tried and a lot of fans can’t seem to get enough of him.
My other issue with the treatment of Octavia in this episode, SPECIFICALLY the speech that Loona gives Octavia near the end.
Because. Oof. There’s a lot to unpack. Firstly:
Maybe it’s just me, but I find the way the writers have Loona frame this situation as being really really weird. To be clear, I don’t think it starts off too badly. Everyone DOES have issues, and that can affect the way they act and treat others and make mistakes.
That said, dads are not inherently more messed up or dealing with more difficulties than anyone else.
Dads have issues the same as any other person, but they don’t get special privileges or passes because they’re dads. They’re responsible for themselves like every other person with issues and difficulties, and they’re still responsible for themselves and their mistakes.
It’s especially frustrating because the writers are using Stolas’ “issues” as a crutch to excuse their bad behavior. This happens a lot with writers trying to excuse or justify their character’s actions. The “issues” can be anything from a difficult childhood, relationship troubles or divorce, a traumatic experience, etc. but these things should never be used as a way to excuse a character’s every mistake and flaw.
Effective writing will use a character’s history to explain the reasons a character acts or behaves a certain way, not excuse that behavior. This leads to characters that the audience can become more invested in, and can form different opinions or interpretations about.
A really great example of this is Bojack Horseman, whose terrible upbringing and abuse definitely garner audience sympathy, but the writers never use this to as a justification for the Bojack’s behaviors. Bojack continually makes really terrible choices that hurt the people he cares about the most, and while we as the audience still sympathize with him to an extent, we still get frustrated with Bojack, and be disappointed by him.
The audience finally gets some catharsis from this frustration when Bojack is called out by his best friend Todd for this, after he finally breaks any remaining trust in their friendship with the following quote:
“You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things, and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better! [Bojack apologizes and then continues to make excuses] …BoJack, stop. You are all the things that are wrong with you. It's not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened in your career, or when you were a kid—It's you. Alright? It's you. Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”
In my opinion, Helluva Boss’ writers seem to be determined to write the exact opposite of this sentiment.
The writers frame Loona’s speech to Octavia as a heartwarming moment—a moment where Loona helps Octavia realize that Stolas cares about her and is trying his best, so Octavia should cut him some slack.
This is, quite frankly, a BAFFLING scene because Loona’s behavior for the ENTIRE EPISODE is her assaulting and yelling at her dad. Like, she has given Blitzø absolutely NO slack before this moment, and then doesn’t give him any in the scene DIRECTLY after this, where she assaults him again while he’s in the middle of apologizing to her.
Not only is it odd to have Loona tell Octavia all of this and then not act on it herself, but the whole scene really reads as the writers trying to sweep Octavia’s very valid and real feelings of hurt over her father’s neglect under the rug.
And look. Trying to be better can be important. Trying to change and be better IS worthy of being acknowledged. But at a certain point, as Todd points out to Bojack, you have to actually be better.
In part 1, I talked about how the end of “Looloo Land” had set things up for Stolas to start being more conscientious of Octavia’s feelings and needs. He took the first step of making amends with her, of listening to her and her concerns and fears.
“Seeing Stars” was an episode that could have shown him being better. But instead. Well.
In her speech to Octavia Loona says this:
And to be fair, Loona didn’t know what hijinks Stolas and Blitzø were getting up to in the city. She probably did think Stolas was looking for her.
…Except…he kind of wasn’t…
During the search for Octavia, Blitzø gets mistaken for a famous Hollywood actor, and he and Stolas are essentially kidnapped to be in a sitcom. When this first happens, Stolas is anxious, clearly upset that there search has been further impeded:
He’s scared that Octavia could be in danger, or hurt. Stolas seemingly wants to find her as soon as possible.
Well. Once they get to the Hollywood sitcom shoot, the following scenes happen:
STOLAS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???? YOU JUST SAID THAT YOU DIDNT HAVE TIME FOR THIS ??? BLITZØ DIDNT EVEN WANT TO PERFORM, AND YOU MADE HIM! WHY?!?! YOU DONT OWE THESE PEOPLE ANYTHING? THE TV PRODUCER EVEN LEFT THE ROOM BEFORE THE SHOW STARTED, NO ONE WAS KEEPING YOU THERE!!!
WHY ARE YOU INVESTED IN THIS AND WORRIED ABOUT THE AUDIENCE NOT LAUGHING?!?! STOLAS YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID YOUR DAUGHTER COULD BE IN DANGER IN THE VAN, WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY SO CONCERNED WITH MAKING BLITZØ ACT IN THIS SITCOM???? STOLAS YOU DONT KNOW WHERE YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER IS?!?!?
I just…I’m sorry, I just think this episode is so so clunky and so poorly written. I think it may be one of the episodes with the least consistent character writing.
The scene continues, Stolas gets distracted by how attractive he finds Blitzø, and Blitzø acts in the sitcom for so long that even Stolas looks bored and out of it.
At this point in the story, he doesn’t know where his daughter is, if she’s hurt, or in danger, or even why she ran away in the first place. But instead of that taking the absolute top priority for him, he takes time to watch Blitzø make bad jokes in a wig for the whole afternoon.
Stolas isn’t even the one to get them out of the Hollywood studio, Blitzø is. Blitzø has a panic attack about the thought of Loona being taken from him during the sitcom shoot, and that’s what sparks them escaping.
The two escape the studio and meet up with Octavia and Loona, and the episode ends with Octavia apologizing for running away, and Stolas not having to apologize to her for his mistakes because Octavia already knows he’s sorry.
In Part 1, I talked about how at the end of “Loo Loo Land”, the writers set up the building blocks for Stolas’s character development in regards to his relationship with Octavia. S1 E2 of Helluva Boss ends with Stolas listening to his daughter, realizing his actions hurt her, and acting like he’s going to start putting her first.
“Seeing Stars” undoes all of that development. Which wasn’t even that much character development in the first place. Just the kicking off point for Stolas’ growth as a character.
Reviewing this episode made me realize that Stolas’ character development may have actually regressed. He doesn’t keep his promise to Octavia, he starts flirting with Blitzø when he should be looking for her, and wastes valuable time fucking around with Blitzø on a sitcom set.
And listen, I KNOW that Blitzø got Loona to look for Octavia right after he and Stolas got kidnapped by the tv producers. But after they get out of the Van, WHY does Stolas just continue to go along with it? He was so concerned and scared for Via before, wouldn’t he want to get back to looking for her as soon as possible?? And have as many people as possible working on finding her???
Blitzø doesn’t even want to go on the sitcom and for some reason Stolas makes him! The tv producer had left the room at that point too, and Stolas is a DEMON PRINCE, no one was keeping them there!
Stolas gives the reason for Blitzø needing to perform to be “so they can get back to looking for Via” but they can just do that without having to be in the sitcom?
I think the writers might have written dramatic irony into the story without meaning to? Loona tells Octavia that “[Stolas is] down there. Looking for you”, but we as the audience know that’s not true. Stolas wasn’t looking for his daughter. He was watching Blitzø star in a bad sitcom for 5 hours.
This becomes extra frustrating and gut-wrenching for me when I think about Octavia right before Loona’s speech about how “dads are special and have it extra extra bad and try extra extra hard and that’s super important, even if they fuck up and hurt you”
This scene is absolutely heartbreaking to me. This is a 17 year old girl who has been repeatedly let down by one of the people she looked up to and relied upon the most, who rightfully feels abandoned and like she no longer has a home.
Specifically the line “Why does he hate [my mum] more than he loves me?” hits extra hard.
I don’t know what it’s like to have divorced parents, but I can imagine that anyone who has may have had this exact thought. Octavia needs support more now than ever, and keeps getting let down by the adults around her, and it just breaks my heart to see this young vulnerable girl not really have anyone who acknowledges that what Stolas did was hurtful. That it wasn’t okay, and that she’s allowed to be upset about it.
The reason she exists in the story isn’t to be her own person and to have character development of her own. She exists just to be Stolas’ daughter, and to forgive him for his wrongdoings and make him seem like a “good” person because even though he has issues, he still loves her! That makes him a good dad!
And I don’t know how Octavia is broadly accepted in the HB fandom, but I’ve heard that she may not be liked very well, and I don’t understand how anyone could see this scene and think she’s annoying or terrible.
Honestly, I would NOT be as frustrated and disappointed by the writing in this episode, if the writers and the fandom at large didn’t treat this episode like it had a heartwarming and satisfying resolution. If the writers treated Stolas as a complex person who is able to make mistakes, and who still really needs to own up to his actions and take responsibility for his broken promises, I would probably like him a lot more as a complex and nuanced character.
But the way the writers frame Stolas as being in the right, or being the victim, or being fully justified in all his actions isn’t just bad writing. It’s boring. Stolas is a boring character because the writers do not allow him to be in the wrong, to be morally ambiguous or dark, or to be called out or held accountable for his mistakes.
The writers MAY somehow undo the damage they already did in “Seeing Stars”, but given the way that the writers, show creators, and fandom go out of their way to excuse any morally grey, questionable, or harmful decisions Stolas makes, I’m not going to hold my breath.
TLDR:
-Despite Octavia being hurt by Stolas again, the writers refuse to put him in any situation where he’s held accountable for his mistakes
-The writers use Stolas’ “issues” to excuse away his bad behavior. And specify that Octavia should cut Stolas some slack because he’s a dad and being a dad is extra hard I guess?
-the framing of the episode acts like Stolas did everything in his power to look for Octavia when he clearly didn’t (he was goofing off with Blitzø)
-Stolas is ultimately uninteresting and not engaging as a character because the writers go out of their way to excuse his behavior and mistakes even when he’s in the wrong.
-Stolas cannot be a complex character if he is always absolved of the consequences of his actions and is not allowed by the writers to be better (in my opinion)
Also sidebar—WHY DID HE NOT CALL OCTAVIA ON HER PHONE!?!
In the VERY first episode of HB Stolas is LITERALLY INTRODUCED TO US by calling Blitzø on his phone and watching Blitzø in the human world from hell, without the use of his Grimoire!! HE HAS THE POWER TO DO THAT!!!
I was like, maybe Octavia didn’t have her phone for a SECOND before remembering that LOONA FINDS OCTAVIA BY LOOKING AT THE PICTURES SHES POSTING TO SOCIAL MEDIA WITH HER PHONE.
Like Stolas do you not know ur own daughters phone number. AND YOURE GIVING BLITZØ A HARD TIME ABOUT NOT KNOWING MOXXIE’S?? Also when Blitzø is in danger you can pinpoint his exact location, travel to the human world without the grimoire terrify and reveal your existence to MULTIPLE humans with absolute disregard for being discovered, but when your OWN DAUGHTER is missing and you have NO idea why or if she’s in danger, suddenly you have time to run around LA for a day getting into shenanigans???? She’s your DAUGHTER. No wonder she doesn’t think you care about her because I sure as hell don’t after that episode. Lord.
#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#stolas critical#funhouse convo#media criticism#media critique#media conversation#octavia goetia#Octavia I’m so sorry sweetie I’m so sorry those ugly ass bitches would ever do that to you!!!
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Hi! Missing your fics and wondering if you wanna tease anything you've got coming soon?
Hey anon! Thanks so much for dropping by 😊
I didn't mean to go so long without posting but life has just been super busy lately. As usual, I have a bazillion and one WIPs I haven't managed to finish. I also have a fic I've been writing as I rewatch the series and it's basically a complete dissection of chenford's feelings for each other from 1x01 up through 4x22. It's been a fun challenge to write and it's turned into a 45k word monstrosity and it's finally almost done and I'm so excited to share it!
For now, here is a sneak peek from season 2.
Lucy is fine.
Despite what everyone else seems to think, she’s fine.
But deep down, she knows she’s not. She’s been white knuckling it since the moment they pulled out of the station yesterday, and she knows, despite her denials, that Harper and Lopez understand what happened last night. She knows she overreacted, and she knows that visceral instinct probably isn’t going away for a while.
And she really does appreciate Harper’s support and her willingness to help.
But the truth is, the first semblance of safety Lucy feels is when she turns around to find Tim standing behind her, tossing a compliment at her in a way that only he could pull off.
She thinks that’s the end of it, turns back to the bag, but then Tim is speaking again, telling her about his own scars and giving her a glimpse into a childhood she knows nothing about. And she knows what he’s trying to do, knows he’s trying to show her that he can relate to what she’s going through. She appreciates his attempts to help, too. She does. But his scars are different, and she doesn’t want to push him away, but she needs him to understand that it’s not the same.
She went on a date with a serial killer who tattooed her and buried her alive, and despite her psychology degree and months of training as a cop, she somehow missed all the signs that could have prevented her from ending up there in the first place. Instead, she now has a permanent reminder of her failure inked into her skin.
Lucy opens her mouth to fight back – to tell Tim that she appreciates his attempts to help but that he’s missing the point – but before she can he’s speaking again, and this time he’s saying everything she didn’t realize she needed to hear.
But you didn’t die.
I see it as proof that you’re a survivor.
It was the first day of the rest of your life.
And then he tosses her ring back to her and smiles softly, and Lucy is hit by so many emotions she can’t even begin to decipher them all.
Her feelings for Tim have gotten… complicated. She likes him. Not like that. Just… as a person.
But it’s more than that, because now he’s not just the guy she spends twelve hours a day with, sometimes navigating all kinds of complex and often dangerous situations and sometimes simply talking about any and everything. Now, he’s the guy who has her back without question. He’s the guy who is willing to share painful pieces of his own trauma just to help her come to terms with hers. He’s the guy who pulled her from the ground and breathed air back into her lungs and spent the night at her hospital bedside.
She owes him her life.
She owes him… everything.
And she’s not quite sure how to reconcile the man standing in front of her with the one who used to make her life a living hell in every possible way.
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Hey I got an idea maybe you could try to write if you want. I know it’s looks EXTREMELY long. Sorry im just really detailed and awful at using words to describe it shortly. Javi Gutierrez and fem reader (or whatever you prefer) are already in a relationship. Reader knows how big of a fan Javi is about Nicolas Cage so she’s used to it. But this time Nicolas has some new film and Javi is so hyper focused about it. Like he’s watching all the interviews, rewatching the film, and looking at all the pictures. Like every fan girl would do with their beloved actor ( literally me). The reader eventually gets sad cuz he hasn’t been as affectionate as he usually would and is basically ignoring her since he’s been glued to the tv. He’s not trying to do it on purpose in a mean way btw. So as a distraction reader goes to binge watch a show (on a different tv) she hasn’t watched yet. That show being Narcos 👀. As she’s watching it she becomes obsessed with a character named Javier Pena the more she watches. Now she’s a little fan girl of her own and the Javi G situation isn’t as big of a deal as of right now. Some time has past as in however long it took reader to get to the middle of season 3 of Narcos. Javi’s infatuation has finally died down (as if it was like a sugar high) and now he’s yearning for reader. Looking for her and finds her giggling at the screen. Asking her what the cute giggles were about. She now spews her new infatuation. About Javier Peña’s personality, looks, storyline, and his mannerisms. Maybe she even starts calling Javier, Javi for short since she’s repeating his name constantly. As Javi G now watches with her (but not really paying attention). He tries to give affection and talks to her but just gives quick responses, absently ignoring him (what he was doing to her before but not realizing it). Now Javi gets jealous (the cute kind cuz that Javier Pena based on the show is obviously not real). He doesn’t understand why she likes Javier more than her own boyfriend/husband (ofc she actually loves Javi G way more but that’s what he thinks as of right now). I mean they basically got the same name, he almost looks like him, and he speaks Spanish as well. Javi just does not get it. Hours later when reader finishes the show she finds Javi acting odd and dressed…. differently. ( he’s now dressed like Pena and trying to act “cool”. Reader is hysterically laughing after realizing what Javi is trying to do. And he’s just standing like: 🥺. To cut things short cuz i realized this is already really long (sorry). She just light heartedly explained (still laughing and not being serious at all) how she felt when he was ignoring her after he tried to make an argument about her pushing him away. They make up and Javi gives her all the affection she could ever have in a lifetime (maybe manhandling her a bit 👀). But the whole situation was never really that serious like they weren’t gonna break up or anything. It’s just Javi being a drama queen. The whole story is just fluffy and goofy but i think it’s sweet.
I absolutely love this. I will start writing it today and will try to have something posted tomorrow. Thank you for the very cute and fluffy idea.
Here is goes:
Again. It is happening again. Javi is stuck in front of the TV watching every movie with that Nicholas Cage person. His obsession is going a little far.
‘Javi, can you come help me with something?” I asked him. I am dressed in his favorite lingerie set and I am hoping that I can pull his attention back to me.
“I am sorry. I am busy watching this. Come watch this with me.” He said patting the spot on the couch next to him without his eyes leaving the screen in front of him.
“Javi, can you pause it please.” I tried again, now standing a little closer to the TV again attempting to get his attention.
“I will help you later, okay? I promise.” He said now turning the volume on the TV up.
This is ridiculous. If Nicholas Cage appeared in front of him right now in his favorite lingerie set, I am pretty sure that would have him jumping up and down and ready to get after it.
“Whatever Javi.” I said and walked away. Well fine if he wants to focus on this man again then I guess I will have to humor myself with something else. Maybe I can find something to watch too. But first, I need to put some real clothes on. I thought for sure offering him myself would have worked.
I made my way upstairs and into my room. I walked over to my closet and pulled out some shorts and a t-shirt. I took off the lingerie set and threw it into the hamper to be cleaned and put on the outfit I pulled out. Maybe I can find something on Netflix or Hulu to watch.
I jumped onto the bed and pulled myself to the middle and sat up. I reached for the remote control from the end table on my side and turned the TV on. I opened Hulu first and started to go through the movies and TV shows that were on it. Blah I feel like I have already watched everything on this. Maybe Netflix then.
I opened Netflix and started to go through the movies. I have seen most of the romance movies on here. Jeeze Javi has messed up my likes on here. I have all these documentaries and action movies on here. Let’s look at shows. I can’t believe he just flat out refuses to switch to his profile. Come on. More action shows, documentaries and then well, wait, hold on, what is that?
Narcos.
It looks interesting. It says it's about drug cartels. Maybe this won’t be too bad after all. I wonder if he has watched it yet. I selected the show and the annoying ding that happens when the Netflix logo appears came on. Right away it starts with the screen that lets everyone know that this is based on real events but, names have been changed and I felt myself getting a little excited.
Only a few minutes into the show I spotted a character that strangely looked like Javi. They have a lot of similarities. His Spanish is impeccable. The cigarette he is holding looks odd. Almost like he hasn’t smoked before the show. Who knows. Maybe he is a chain smoker behind the scenes, but he is just holding it weird.
I surprisingly made it to the end of the episode without changing it. The white guy seems kind of crazy. Almost like maybe he shouldn’t be allowed to have a weapon. I don’t know. He did call that one guy what’s his name? I think it was Javier Pena, an asshole.
I managed to get into the middle of the second episode where one of the women is getting fucked and I started to hear some shuffling outside of the bedroom.
“Javi?” I called out.
“Yes?” He called back in response.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I just went and grabbed a blanket from the hall closet. I got a little cold.” Javi called back. I didn’t bother responding. I thought maybe he was going to come in here. I guess I was wrong.
I focused my attention back on the show. Of course, when I looked back over, I saw Javier Pena nailing someone on the couch. Well don’t mind if I do. He is very attractive. She is beautiful. Wow they would make a great couple. That scene did not last long enough in my opinion. Granted if the whole show was just that then I don’t think it would be ono Netflix. It would be on a different website.
I just sat in the bed devouring the show episode after episode. I felt my stomach rumble and realized I have been in this room for six hours. It’s the middle of the night and Javi still has not come up to go to bed. What the hell. Nor did he come and tell me if he was hungry. I paused the show and got off the bed and made my way downstairs into the living room. He was still propped up on the couch now watching interviews of Nicolas Cage.
“Javi.” I said.
“Shh he is talking.” He said. Did he really shush me for this? I walked closer to him and noticed he had a take-out container in front of him and a drink.
“Did you get food delivered?” I asked.
“Yes.” He said quickly and took another bite of his food. Unbelievable.
“I am starving what did you get?” I asked.
“Oh, I am sorry, I thought you went to bed. I just got something for me.” He said keeping his attention on the TV.
“You know what fine. You can sleep out here then until this fixation is done with.” I said rolling my eyes and dismissing myself and walking into the kitchen. I think I still have some leftover meat for some burritos in here. I opened the fridge and grabbed out the leftovers and grabbed some tortillas and cheese. I made myself some food and took it up to the room and sat back down on the bed. Since he wants to suck right now, I am eating on his side of the bed. If anything spills then it’s on him. I grabbed the remote and hit play. I sat in silence watching a couple more episodes and finishing my food. I grabbed my water bottle from the nightstand that I leave there so I can have it if I get thirsty in the middle of the night and take a sip of water. I put it back and started to yawn. I turned the TV off and put the plate beside me on the nightstand and got under the blankets. I looked to the empty side where Javi normally is and went to sleep irritated with him.
I woke up to the sound of laughter coming from the living room. It better be the morning. No, I take that back. It better have only been half an hour and he is on his way into this room. Nope. I opened my eyes and was greeted by the sun. Damn it, Javi.
I got off the bed and grabbed my now empty water bottle and plate. I made my way to the kitchen and set it down on the counter and headed to the bathroom. I peed and washed my hands and made my way out with my freshly cleaned hands that were still wet and walked to the living room.
I reached out and wiped my hands on Javi’s face expecting him to laugh or be playful too, but he shrugged me off and pointed to the TV.
“He is just so funny. I love this man.” Javi said.
“Why are you still watching this? Can we go out and do something today? Anything? Did you even sleep?” I asked.
“Of course I slept. I am busy sweetie. If you want to go out, you can go without me. I want to catch up on the stuff I missed.” Javi said.
“Javi, you haven’t even looked at me and this is now day two.” I said. He waved me off and again as I became even more annoyed, I looked at Javi one last time before going back to the kitchen. I grabbed my plate and set it in the sink and filled my water bottle up with water and went back upstairs to the room. This sucks. I just want him to hug me and give me kisses again. This has been going on for too long. I wanted to feel his arms around me last night, but he didn’t come to bed. I miss his affection.
I turned the TV back on and started to watch Narcos again. I was somewhere in season two when Javi came up the stairs and into the room.
“Hey baby.” He said. He sat behind me and moved my hair to one side of my head and planted a small kiss on my shoulder. I shrugged him off as I was watching Javier rough someone up. The muscles on him were amazing.
“Baby, I finished getting caught up. Did you still want to do something?” He said, leaving more kisses on my shoulder.
“Baby shh. I am watching something right now.” I said. I felt him get off the bed and he sighed.
“Okay then. I am going to jump in the shower.” He said looking at me. I waved my hand dismissively and he went to the bathroom and closed the door. A few minutes went by when Javi reappeared, and I was giggling at one of the scenes where Javier was being funny.
“What’s funny?” He asked sitting on the bed in his towel.
“This man Javi is just the best. He cracks me up. He is this bad ass who beats people up and kills them. He is so attractive too. The way he walks. His style. Everything is so cool.” I said.
“Oh really?” He said. I never stopped to look at his face but, had I then I would have noticed he looked a bit mad. He sat there and watched a couple of episodes with me before getting up and getting dressed.
“I am going into town do you want to come?” Javi asked.
“No, I am good.” I said and brushed him off. I heard him sigh a bit too loud but ignored it. He did it to me with Nicolas Cage. I can watch the show if I want.
He was gone for a long time. I managed to get halfway into the third season before I stepped out of the room. I am hungry. I made my way to my phone that I left in the kitchen and called Javi.
“Hey.” He said on the phone.
“Hey Javi, can you bring home some food? I am starving.” I asked
“Oh, the new Javi can’t get some food for you?” he asked and laughed a little.
“You are being silly. Please I am really hungry.” I said again.
“Of course, beautiful. I will grab something and bring it to you. I will be home shortly.” He said. I hung the phone up and ran back up the stairs. I put the show back on and after another episode passed and the finale played. I was officially out of a show to watch again.
“Javi?” I called out from the room. He didn’t answer.
“Javi? Are you here?” He was supposed to bring me food. I heard the door open, and I got off the bed and made my way down the stairs. I bumped into him and the first thing I noticed were the brown leather looking pants that were tight on Javi. Oh my gosh. This is too good.
“Javi, what are you wearing?” I asked and he turned around and that’s when I noticed the fresh haircut and the sunglasses. The pack of cigarettes in his shirt pocket.
“Oh Javi. What are you doing?” I asked with a big smile on my face.
“What? You said you liked Javi’s style. You think he is so cool. I just want to keep up with the look you like.” He said.
“Don’t you like it Princesa?” He asked his eyes were getting soft.
“Oh Javi, I liked how you looked before. You are incredibly handsome on your own. You don’t need to look like Javier Pena.” I said and smiled up at him.
“Are you sure? Because you basically had drool coming out of your mouth.” He said.
“Baby, I am sure. I love you for who you are.” I said.
He smiled at me and set the food on the table. He walked over to me.
“Can I kiss you now Princesa or are you going to brush me away again?” He asked. I smiled at him and before I responded to him, he pushed me against the door and grabbed my throat and kissed me. Oh wow. That is exactly what I have been missing. He pulled away from me and let his hand slowly fall down the front of me.
“Let’s get some food in you Princesa. I know I kept you waiting and for that I am sorry. I am back. I will pay attention to you beautiful. I missed cuddling you last night.” He said planting a kiss on my forehead.
“I can’t stand it when you fixate on him. It takes you away from me Javi. I missed you over the last couple of days. You let it completely take you away from me. I had to go off and find something for me to fixate on just so I didn’t get too mad at you.” I said looking at him.
‘I know I am sorry love. I will try and be better about it next time, okay?” He said and smiled grabbing my hand and helped me into the chair at the table.
“That’s what you said last time Javi.” I smiled at him and giggled. I grabbed the food and drink he got me and started to eat. We both ate in silence and continued to hold hands. I’m glad to have him back.
#fanfic#fluff#pedro pascal#pedropascal#pov#javier peña#javi gutierrez#javier pena x reader#javi gutierrez x reader#javi gutierrez x you#cute#fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction
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they're yokai. mutants didn't exist beyond the turtles until after mystic mayhem. clem is also clearly a yokai, seeing as he has a cloaking brooch.
ok, not bashing you or anything in this post i was in the process of gathering lines and rewatching scenes from the (out of order) episodes i made my siblings watch and this ask is the perfect time to present my wacky thought process but first things first before we get started!
muants did exist before mystic mayhem........*points to the mutant turtles*. also there would have been experiments before the brothers because you dont have a "finally it worked, my greatest moment" if you didnt experiment for the best final result. draxum also had been working on improving his mutagen/working back up to the mutagen that made the boys after his lab was destroyed.
and! clem did not have a cloaking brooch or one obvious to the eye. here are the confirmed clocking brooches in the show, sunita's and big mama's staff's:
both of which I believe need some sort of activating motion. now clem simply transforms head down:
now this doesn't prove anything except that clem can transform back and forth between his human and non-human form. big mama can transform into a human due to her innate powers, but we can't say if thats whats going on with clem because some of the mutants have powers themselves.
and this is where things get confusing. when warren comes into shop this happens:
WARREN "Uh, an anonymous source told me this is where you get some... enhancements."
CLEM "Huh?"
WARREN "Mutant enhancements. Mystical mu—"
a source told him where to get enhancements for someone in his predicament pointing towards an established community for mutants. i dont believe something that coherent would have been established between mystic mayhem and newsworthy. more on whether or not theres a community of mutants later in this post.
warren uses the word mutants, clem does not remark on this. if he was a yokai and this was his first encounter with a mutant, i think he would have remarked on the word usage. (unless the mutant community has help from yokai, which if anyone has anything on that i would love it)
warren additionally follows immediately up by explicitly called the mutant enhancements as mystical enhancements. now this could mean again, mutants mixing with yokai, but im leaning towards "enhancements so good youd call them mystical"?? im actually not sure with this one because i dont know what episodes came before this because again, paramount plus has these episodes out of order
so this is confusing because this is so ambiguous it can be read so many different ways. clems a mutant and hired by yokai. clems a yokai that helps mutants. everything in there is stolen. everything there is made for mutants. actually its a yokai store, but yay mutant customers! who knows!
ok now onto the next thing i noticed: repo
i think repos a recently mutated guy, but not recent as in a couple days or weeks after mystic mayhem, but more like months.
reason why i think he's recently mutated is mikey's line here:
MIKEY: Dude, you better hide. There’s a human guy around here.
Mikey here is clearly referencing back when repo was a human. donnie likely frequents dumps like repo's but maybe not so often they hear rumors about specific dumps, or they cycle through a couple.
Repo's reaction to them also isnt "omg another mutant like me!" although i dont think that would have been in his personality to do so. still, he seems pretty used to seeing other mutants and he has successfully adapted to his new body and made it work for his business. his customers clearly dont mind or definitely know because theres a scene where he trying repoing some old lady's oxygen.
further more, when asked if the boys can do anything for Repo, he immediately knows a frustrating mutant, and has opinions on his personality:
REPO:I need you to get an RV [holds up pamphlet with picture of the RV] from a real shady mutant.
this implies a long history (possibly two years total, where Todd could have been mutated/been mutated) where Repo was trying to get his RV and Todd had been using his niceness powers
ADDITIONALLY CAUSE I JUST REMEMBERED
there was a screenshot of a yokai bulletin board or something and several mutants were on there? does anyone know what episode was on there? that could prove a yokai mutant communities connection and make or break everything in this post asdfsdf
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On Sara Sidle + music appreciation (+ my pet peeve line from the later seasons of CSI: “Who’s Beyoncé?”):
*Please be warned: This post is not a place for lovers of the later seasons of CSI.*
@addictedtostorytelling has really excellent (no surprise there!) analysis of the failings of the later seasons of CSI generally (particularly with regard to the OG cast) as well as how they failed Sara specifically. (This post would be a good starting point because it links to some others. This recent one is also very good for a specific example.)
(Obviously there is also the clusterf*** that is season 13, but I am staying away from that nightmare for today.)
I don’t rewatch those seasons because of *waves hands generally at everything.* So my personal pet peeve comes from a line that I think a lot of people find funny (which is presumably how it found its way onto the show). (For anyone who is reading my current story, I have a note on this there, from which much of the rest of this post is almost a word-for-word copy.)
In “Girls Gone Wild” (14x10), the three women of that CSI era (Sara, Morgan, and Finn) are at a bar and Morgan says she put on a Beyoncé song for them to sing together. Sara asks, “Who’s Beyoncé?”
To which my response is:
I’m sorry, but you can’t tell me Sara Sidle didn’t know who Beyoncé was. The girl could serenade herself with Blondie, sing Meshell Ndegeocello lyrics along with Archie, correct Greg’s pronunciation of Tupac, call on her knowledge of satanists from her summer spent loving Black Sabbath, enjoy (and maybe—or maybe not—put on) Beck’s “The Information” shortly after it was released, and seemingly listen to Iron & Wine’s The Shepherd’s Dog not long after its release. (According to the DVD commentaries, the Tupac pronunciation correction was based on JF correcting ES’s pronunciation of Tupac in rehearsal, a piece of trivia I love.) Sara shows, by my estimation, possibly the most diverse musical awareness and appreciation of anyone in the series.
So, true, Sara may have been a bit preoccupied when “Single Ladies” was released back in October 2008 (seeing as she was just about, once again, to leave her lover). Sure, she may have been “too busy putting killers in jail to watch the VMAs.” (Of course, apparently she wasn’t too busy for the writers to shove in the next season some ridiculous plotline about her basically being someone’s surrogate mom for the preceding ten years.) But you can’t tell me she didn’t know “Crazy in Love.” You can’t tell me she didn’t know Destiny’s Child. Am I missing something here? I just can’t believe that, as of late 2013, she’d never heard of Beyoncé. And, for what it’s worth, I have absolutely no strong feelings about Beyoncé, but I (surprise, I know!) feel rather strongly about Sara Sidle. I know it’s a funny line, but I find it inconsistent with her characterization from her initial run on the show (pre-2007-2008 WGA strike).
To me, Sara’s “Who’s Beyoncé?” line is a (too) easy way for the (relatively speaking at least, new, and, non-relatively speaking, not all that great with the characterization of the original cast) writers to show Sara was still the “nerd” (a term I have obviously embraced!) contrasted with the fun blonde girls, Finn and Morgan. I don’t believe that, though; I know Sara was, yes, totally an awkward science nerd who’d never heard of a trophy condom, but I also think she was more with it than that. I think Sara was a cool nerd.
Plus, Sara had been living a pretty lonely life for years (watching too much TV and consequently overfamiliar with TV jingles because her husband was abroad, planning Tracy/Hepburn marathons, etc.), so she had plenty of spare time, in which I imagine she would have caught up on a lot of pop culture (basically just by osmosis).
But just pinning her as *the nerd* was all the effort those writers were willing to make (unless they happened to feel like pinning her as the inexplicably angry and even violent one, neither of which is Sara—even when angry, Sara definitely had a reason). They really didn’t care about Sara’s characterization or approaching it with any consistency, as opposed to whatever served them at the moment. They were writing for the joke (or the scene, or the episode, or the really, really, really monumentally shitty divorce plotline). Sara is quite divine, in my books, and they totally just went and flattened (and insulted) her character.
So I choose to believe that “Who’s Beyoncé?” was just a line Sara was using to get out of doing karaoke with Morgan. (I could totally see her doing that.) I will not deny the fact of the line having been sad, but I refuse the intended interpretation.
(Admittedly, though, I haven’t watched that full episode since it aired—or maybe at all—so please let me know if I missed or am misconstruing something.)
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Opinion on the video? I feel you'll have funny or spicy things to say about certain parts of it, lol.
So, I haven't answered many asks about the video, simply because the first time I watched it, I watched it in sections and I feel like I missed a lot, so I had to find time and go back to rewatch it before I truly formulated an opinion and responded to anything.
I've done that, so I'll start answering some of these asks now.
To be completely honest, I did write up a very long post about the video, but I wound up scrapping it. It was long, wordy, and 100% bound to get me canceled on here, lol.
So instead, I'm summarize my thoughts here.
This video can basically be split into two parts: The Guests, and the Post Guests.
I might just skip over the whole part with the guests because honestly, I don't even know why they were there. They didn't seem into it, Larray especially wasn't taking it seriously, and I feel like everyone involved was just in it for the view farming. Honestly, the whole first 20 minutes was a skip for me, and I feel like this collab would've been better served in a regular video and not their huge project of the year that's supposed to break barriers and show who they are as people.
The Merry Knockers coming in and doing their thing was fine for what it was - again, I'm not fully feeling their vibes with this, but I'm not going to keep poking at it. It is what it is. So for what it is, it was fine.
I do want to point out one random thing, which is that Colby should go on Wheel of Fortune, cause his guessing game about what these knocks were spelling out was on point, holy damn.
Also, their message about the other side - I think at the end of the day, all anyone wants for the afterlife is for their best case scenario to be true, whether that be dark eternal nothingness or fluffy clouds with angels on them or reincarnation or something in between. We all just want peace, whatever that means for us personally. So, it was a nice message in that regards and it obviously meant a lot to then.
That's what matters. Impact.
The vibes changed the second the guests left, as they always do. Why snc can't just realize that and get comfortable being on their own more often is beyond me, but honestly- it just flows better when it's the two of them.
Now, the one thing I want to point out about this video is that they spent 90% of the time not acknowledging the elephant in the basement- Sam and his middle child tendencies rearing their ugly heads again.
I am going to tread very carefully here, but I'm also going to put it bluntly - what Sam did was selfish. They went into this with a pre-agreed upon idea and plan for the video and the basement in particular, and Sam tried to go into business and - as Colby eloquently put it - "take it for himself." And that's what that was, btw...it was not possession, it was not, "Oh wow, I need a quiet place to think about Grandma." He tried to go into business for himself and take the Big Moment of the video for himself, and when it failed, he sat back for three days and waited until the Big Moment - and a camera - was on them to tell Colby about it.
I would've been pissed too. In fact, I give Colby props for how calmly he handled it, cause I would've thrown some hands lol.
Just a shitty, selfish, non team player thing to do.
What cracked me up about this whole thing was how Colby checked him immediately with just a clenched jaw, a few disappointed words, and a mom look. That's all it took to get Sam backtracking like a motherfucker.
They seriously do act like a long suffering married couple sometimes.
Anyway, 3 minutes later and Sam is the only thing keeping Colby from drowning in the Conjuring Well, so that ought to tell you that they'll be just fine.
The Estes Method...ok. We need to talk about Dave, cause homeboy really just wants to get laid. Is that why he's tryjng to get everyone to go out into the woods? Like bro, you're dead, calm down.
Anyway, Sam's reaction to the "sex" answer was 10/10. Little bit of "what the fuck" mixed with a whole lot of begrudging respect.
Sassy, still-pissed Colby just reacting to Sam's shaking with a disgusted sounding "what are you doing?" also made me laugh.
In general, just know that the basement made me laugh.
The camera malfunctioning at the end - I actually thought Colby was turning it off at first, ngl. It just felt like drama for drama's sake. And then Sam had the bright idea to film it happening on his phone so we could see that it wasn't them - which they need to do more of, by the way - so that was cool.
The head popping up behind them when they came up from the basement: I need confirmation that nobody else was in the house before I even syart going down any possible road on this one. Sorry, snc, but that totally looks like a human.
Anyway, the video was fine for what it was. Psychology wise, there was some utterly fascinating parts to watch and dissect, they got some fun evidence, and there was a lot of snc alone time which is always a plus.
Overall, I'd probably give it a solid 6/10.
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A ton of life stuff has been happening lately, as well as the end of my partner’s COVID quarantine, so all of a sudden, I have my usual time alone again to watch dramas and catch up on, like, the internet, while managing lots of life change. It’s almost like I have a stress/anxiety hangover, which I’ve been nursing by re-re-re-re-rewatching Kinou Nani Tabeta and re-rewatching Cherry Magic....which is like, something I do when I need to occupy my brain without really engaging it. Fall ends up always being super crazy busy, it throws me!
But anyway, I wanted to jot down that I think I’m also coming down from the DELICIOUS high of the amazing Old Fashion Cupcake DVD epilogue to plow through my drama list, so I’m picking up Super Rich again while waiting for Banshaku no Ryuugi to get subbed and Kabe Koji’s episodes to come out (SO HARD TO WAIT A WEEK FOR EACH CUTE SHORT EPISOOOOODE).
And I’m mulling over a #long-post about women eating alone in shows and why I love the concept so much in doramas. With Banshaku and Wakako Zake season 5 getting subbed, I want to do a nice, long meditation on why I think the depiction of women eating and drinking alone is so beautiful in drama art -- and how it’s been a huge source of importance and comfort to me from my early adult years to my barreling towards middle age now. Even though I’ve become a mom, the urge I have to sit at a bar by myself and just linger over a cocktail and a snack -- it’s unchanged, and I want to meditate on why I think I get that way and why these shows hit that nail for me so much.
I also miss writing on Tumblr! I’m gonna finish Three Star Bar soon, so I’ll get a review up. Yes, I’m on multiple Machida shows, BUT -- I’m through the first two episodes of Super Rich now, and Akaso Eiji is FAB.U.LOUS. in it. He’s so good! I was a little thrown by how cheesy his role was in Hiru, but Super Rich is doing him a solid. So more reviews of old shows soon, womp!
#i can't tell y'all how tired i am#solo mommying for almost two weeks is no joke#being able to make a meal just for myself feels like a new concept#i've been subsisting on my children's leftovers this whole time#my mind and soul aren't quite _broken_ per se#but i'm picking up the pieces to get back to normal#which feels amazing
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Insert Holiday Pun Here
Well folks, the holidays are upon us, and I’ve been too busy to attempt to be funny. SO, I thought I’s treat you all to something a little different.
[This joke would be funnier if my name was actually Gina]
I’m going to go through the holiday (read: Christmas, because let’s be honest: Hearth’s Warming is a Christmas expy) episodes and give my thoughts on each. This will not include the Equestria specials because I haven’t seen them (but I have read the IDW 2014 holiday comic and oh boy, that’s a post of its own). I’m not going to recap them (much) because it would take less than two hours to watch them all. Take a break from Charlie Brown and Rankin Bass to appreciate some true holiday classics.
Hearth's Warming Eve, Season 2 Episode 11
I don’t like it.
It’s hard to be the first of anything. You’ve got a lot to set up and only twenty-two minutes to establish lore and tell a complete story. I didn’t care for the Nightmare Night episode the first time I saw it, but upon rewatch it held up better than I remembered. Plus, it had the benefit of being really funny. This only has a few moments that gave me a sensible chuckle.
What a shocker! An earth pony with no ideas.
Ostensibly, this is a very important episode because it introduces the holiday and gives us some Equestria history, but I never expected this show to have such a mean-spirited holiday episode. And I don’t just mean the pony summit that is supposed to show animosity. The beloved Mane Six begin the episode by grousing with each other.
The holidays stress me out too, and I wouldn’t have a problem if they resolved this by the end of the story, but they don’t. The name of the show is “Friendship is Magic.” This grinch’s heart should be growing three sizes, not reminded of family gatherings that turned into verbal brawls.
And then there’s the play. Obviously, the personalities of Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity get turned up to an eleven in their respective roles, but it just rubs me the wrong way. Especially since the other three are depicted normally. The three heroes bond over how much they hate their bosses. This is a relatable notion, but a weird choice for a children’s program. In the beginning, the three races of ponies were divided by hate, and now they’re being brought together…by hate. Talk about your mixed messages.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I don’t like it when they fight unnecessarily.
2/5
Hearthbreakers, Season 5 Episode 20
It was a long wait for another holiday episode, and it was worth it. This one delves into a topic that I don’t see too many shows acknowledge: that different families have different traditions. And more importantly, that someone else’s traditions aren’t bad or wrong just because you might not enjoy them. It should be an obvious lesson to respect other’s differences, but the amount of people who lose their minds when told to have a happy holiday is any indication, it bears repeating. This time of year can be difficult for blended families or people coming together for the first time, and it’s especially relevant for this changing world. It stands to reason that the very stubborn Applejack would be a stickler for tradition and have difficulties being flexible.
How rare it is to see Pinkie Pie be the peace keeper?
4.5/5
A Hearth's Warming Tail, Season 6 Episode
This one is a mixed bag for me. I am a big fan of A Christmas Carol and I do enjoy when shows do their own version. The story itself is fun, with the added twist of higher stakes than the original, but the framing devices gives me pause. Twilight freaking out because Starlight doesn’t want to celebrate a holiday is a little over the top. No one should be pressured to celebrate a certain way or celebrate at all if they don’t want to. Maybe someone has bad memories with the holiday and doesn’t want to be reminded of past events. Maybe they can’t stand the over consumption and commercialism of this time of year. Maybe they belong to a religion that doesn’t celebrate Christmas and are very tired of being constantly ignored. Maybe they work in retail. The reason doesn’t matter.
It’s such an easy fix. Maybe instead of being indifferent towards the holiday, Starlight’s nervous that she’s going to be in such a big group and worried that she’ll mess things up. Twilight gives her the book to show that you can’t really ruin Christmas Hearthswarming because blah blah blah togetherness. I don’t know.
Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but this episode aired a year after people lost their minds over a red paper coffee cup, so my concerns aren’t unfounded.
3.5/5
The Hearth's Warming Club, Season 8 Episode 15
It was like the writers saw inside my brain and realized the issue with only recognizing one holiday that gets celebrated in the pony equivalent of December.
The set up for the Breakfast Club-esque story has some issues, but I'm willing to look past them because I enjoy the episode. The best things that come from the magic school storylines are the exploration of the non-pony lore.
We had to wait eight years, but there was finally an acknowledgement that other holidays exist.
4.5/5
Best Gift Ever (aired between seasons 8 and 9)
The gold standard by which I’ve held all the other episodes. Everyone is perfectly in character. No one had to resort to stupid “Gift of the Magi” BS that they could have easily done.
I’ve never seen a kids show display so succinctly how stressful the holidays are, while simultaneously expecting you to have a good time. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? Why aren’t you having fun? What do you mean you don’t have time to clean, decorate, bake, wrap presents, send out cards, do crafts, mail gifts, and spend time with loved ones while also working/going to school/ continuing to be a human being?
I have been in this exact position, spending an hour inputting packages, and explaining that the delivery times were not guaranteed.
But this friend group really needs to discover the magic of waiting until after Christmas to have your get-together. It lessens the stress and gives you something to look forward to. Plus, you can snag those post-holiday deals.
I have pulled a Pinkie Pie and ignored the rules of a White Elephant exchange because I had already gotten everyone a gift. No one seemed to mind.
Forget the magic anthropomorphic horses, the most unrealistic thing about this show is how easy it is to make friends as an adult. It's trite to say that friendship is the greatest gift of all, but I am going to see my friends after New Years, and after not being together for over three years, I really couldn't ask anything better.
A totally heterosexual explanation for this image exists.
The chef’s kiss of holiday episodes. I will even forgive them for airing it in October. I will be watching it again this year while the rest of the family watches Die Hard.
5/5
Shoutout once again to whoever posts the images on the wiki gallery. You remain the funniest person on the internet.
#incorrect mlp quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect my little pony#incorrectmlpquotes#mlp#mlp fim#holiday edition#best gift ever#mlp best gift ever#hearths warming
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Hey 👋
Favourite each captain America movies scenes??
Sorry this took forever and a day 😭 I really, really wanted to rewatch the films before I posted! Incoming long post. I can talk about Steve all day and you just gave me permission to talk your ear off 💕🤞🏿
So for CATFA...
This one is really tough because I have a few. I actually have a few choices for all of these movies. I can go in order because I actually took notes. I really like Steve's opening interaction in the 1st movie where a soldier is basically saying that "Wow a lot of people are getting killed over there kind of makes you think twice about enlisting, eh?" and Steve just says "nope 😁!" goes about his business. I actually think that it's a near perfect introduction to his character for his 1st movie. It's showing not only how determined Steve is to join the war effort and contribute but also how fearless he is about the consequences might endure by doing this. That single track mind and perseverance/resilience is just so Steve. I think it's perfect.
Before I continue, I do, of course, like all the usual scenes that people point out: the "Not a good soldier, but a good man" scene, the "You start running they'll never let you stop. You stand up you push back. They can't say no forever right?" scene, the hilarious scene where he's in the enlistment place and he slowly looks back poster that says it's illegal to falsify your papers - love that!
Back to the ones I want to point out though! I actually really like the scene where when he comes back from saving 400 of those captives, he tells Colonel Phillips first of all, that these people need medical attention and then he says that he'd like to turn himself in for disciplinary action. Accountability has never been an issue with Steve. That's why as soon as he finished saving those people he acknowledges that he did disobey a direct order and is like "I'll face a consequences" despite not regretting what he did at all. Scenes like those make me really wonder where people get the he wants no responsibility, he thinks hes above everyone' type of thinking.
One scene that I really like that is infinitely sad is when after Erskine gets killed, Colonel Phillips tells Steve that he's not enough, " I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough." He said it with a sneer like many people in Steve's life. You can really tell how impactful that statement was. The one man who actually chose himfor something, who believed in him to be eligible for the army and for the super soldier serum, who wanted him on the front lines, is dead right when Steve gains the power to protect him from it. It's especially tragic when you realize that Erskine dying is one of the first perfect memories that Steve ever has after the serum.
Speaking of Erskine, another scene that involves Steve's grief concerning him is when the Red Skill tells him "He gave you everything" and you can tell Steve tries to maintain eye contact, but his eyes lower for a bit before he pulls himself together again and goes back to challenging the Red Skull with his gaze. It was so subtle but noticeable.
OK speed run, other scenes that I really like that are especially brief: Peggy saying "If it (serum) could only work once he'd (Erskine) be proud it was you", Steve shying away from cameras, Steve not showing up for his award ceremony, and Steve being booed, jeered, and having trash thrown at him during the USO arc on stage (really the entire USO arc).
Onto CATWS!
Everything about this movie is so good to me. Everything! I love the amount of characterization we get on Steve. Literally obsessed!
So of course the big ones - Steve's first meeting with Sam is him teasing. Like, that's so adorable. "Thanks for the run Sam - If that's what you wanna call running." Like he's such a little jerk I love him.
The elevator scene is classic. I was rewatching that scene a bunch of times yesterday and cannot get over it. Rumlow claims that the team is just going to check out some fibers on the roof and Steve accepts that, but starts to read the tense body language around him. Steve's analytical face is sooooo satisfying. It's the same expression we get at the end of CATFA when he's in the stage room with the radio! Just taking in all the facts. Then he looks exasperated, disappointed and maybe even a little hurt all at once before he prepares to fight them. Another thing, those weapons were probably made specifically for Steve - isn't that a crazy thought? And they were STILL too weak! I think it's both amazing and satisfying that they underestimated Steve's strength and resilience.
Oh, the initially scene where Steve gets on the ship and starts whoopin ass the second he steps on? Loved it. Mostly because Steve's fight choreo is so damn clean. Not a single move wasted, endlessly efficient with perfect accuracy. The moment right before this is also one of my favorites since it shows that Steve likes to indulge in a bit of gallows humor with Natasha, “You do anything fun Saturday night?” “Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really.” And Natasha just grins in response. Really, all the NatSteve interactions are just stellar. The relationship development around these too is so precious to me.
Of course the two big ones are Steve's morality scenes. Like cmon. The "This isn't freedom, this is fear" line almost had me physically vibrating in my seat. That was a moment I felt like me and Steve telepathically and spiritually connected on the same level! And then the speech he gives at SHIELD....perfection. "If I'm the only one then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not." Like yesssss. I love Steve "I believe in individuals" Rogers. His conviction and leadership is addictive and compels people (even those who he's never met!) to follow him. Just something inherently trustworthy about him. And let's make one thing clear. Those qualities are Steve's, not something that being Captain America gave him.
One more: Steve's conversation with Pierce. Now, I think this is very important. Pierce, throughout this whole conversation, is playing both sides. He's trying to get Steve to turn on Fury, of course. But he also immediately backtracks when Steve makes it clear that he is not going to do that. And what's even better - is that you can tell that Steve knows that Pierce is manipulating him! I mean, when Pierce tells him that Fury hired the pirates, Steve says that if he knew Fury, he wouldn't do that. Even though Steve quite literally agrees (as he reveals when he talks to Natasha) that Fury hired the pirates, but he doesn't give an inch to Pierce, because he knows not to trust him.
Also, in that same scene, I love the Fury/Steve parallel. Both of them disobeyed direct orders and got promoted for it. It made me think that for all of the times that Steve directly objects to Fury and his methods - those ethics Steve has are partially what makes Fury trust Steve. Well, at least he trusts Steve to always do what's right, even if it's contradictory to what Fury himself would do.
Now...the bane of my existence....CACW.
I don't know If I can get through this section without bursting a blood vessel but I'll try. I actually adored Steve in this movie by the way. It actually was the one that pushed me to being a full-blown Steve stan. So imagine my surprise when I experienced the whiplash sensation of going online just to find out that everyone hated his guts when I thought he was absolutely in the right and the hero of the movie.
I wanna say now that I'm not a "b-b-but BOTH SIDES!!!" type of person for this movie. I'm just not. I sympathize heavily with Tony's emotions that pushed him to do what he did, but ultimately it's not right. You can see my rant about CW misconceptions here. With that being said, I actually like this movie and Steve, so let's go!
Literally all the Wanda and Steve moments are so precious to me. When Steve catches Wanda hurting herself by watching the news demonize her, he switches the TV off and comforts her. That's a special one. When Steve defends her from Ross and Tony. When Steve
The whole scene where Steve is arguing against the Accords whilst being the only person in the room who read them. Or at least the only person seen reading them. In my heart of hearts, I hope Tony didn't read them. Ignorance is better than the alternative lol. But Steve saying the document shifts the blame (it does), that they would surrender their right to choose, (it would), that Tony was able to chose to discontinue his weapons (he did), that the document is written by people with ever-shifting agendas (it is).
It's hard to pinpoint favorite Steve moments in CW because it's not really his movie, y'know? But I gotta thrown in that I actually adore the letter at the end. I think it fits very well and the whole "My faith's in people" speech was just marvelous.
I like how Steve looked both warmed and devastated when Bucky mentioned Sarah and that Steve used to wear newspapers in his shoes. I love the scene where Steve is literally pulling a moving helicopter back to him just so Bucky doesn't escape. That's not just dedication y'all - that's pure desperation. He can't fathom losing track of Bucky again, after they just got him back.
Most of all, I like how levelheaded Steve is throughout this entire movie. The allegations that he's the most emotionally compromised one are unfounded. The way he maintains his leadership, his conviction, and his heart was just extremely satisfying and very in-character.
Well, that's it! Thank you SO much for asking this!
Once again, I am so, so, so sorry it's taken me this long to answer. I didn't want to half ass it, y'know? I love talking about Steve. I actually wish more people would pop in to ask me about him (and the entire MCU tbh). So thank you for giving me a chance to spew it all out!
#post office#thank you anon#cacw#catfa#catws#steve rogers#steve my beloved#everything special#mcu#pro steve rogers#long post
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So, thoughts on Better Call Saul last season ?
....................................................................................
..............Okay, so
I'm still not having an easy time dealing with the fact that this show is over. I started watching Breaking Bad with my mom circa 2013, right as the 5th season was ending, and soon afterwards we'd started watching Better Call Saul together when it first began airing in 2014. I quite literally grew up with this show from adolescence to adulthood, it just always being there, something me and her would look up to every year or so. There's really nothing else out there that's comparable to this, in terms of my experience with it.
My first school assignment with video (pretty much the first time I ever filmed a project of any kind) was me doing a parody of that "That's why I fight for you Albuquerque!" commercial, and that was way before Better Call Saul began airing. This character's just been a part of my life for so long, I moved through homes 4 times and even then, there was always looking forward to watching Better Call Saul on the couch with her with every year or so. It was just always there, and it never felt like it was gonna leave.
I know I'm being dramatic but, man, it really feels like the end of an era to me, because it is. Just, 9, almost 10 years, coming to an end.
I guess I don't have as much to say now as I did last post considering I've been reblogging BCS posts and dropping thoughts in the notes but, here goes:
Oh man was I scared when Lalo Salamanca crashed through the laundromat's rooftop, killed Gus and proceeded to take over Los Pollos Hermanos as well as the franchise with his own vlogging spin-off. I was a little unsure that Lalo could carry his own show but, Tony Dalton really made it work, and Cocina de Lalo really sweeped the Emmies this year so, can't argue with results, y'know. I know the fanbase was kinda mixed on the Hamlin & Salamanca Graveyard Smash episode but it definitely felt like a major step-up as far as LGBT representation in this universe.
Anyway, rest in piece king. Besides getting a ghost boyfriend, you ended up ruining like 4 relationships and causing your lawyer to go off the deep end so badly he ended up creating the world's most pathetic monster that would eventually bring down Gus for good so, congrats Lalo Salamanca for winning the cartel war purely by dicking around.
I'm glad that Giancarlo won that TV Icon award apparently based almost entirely on his performance in that wine bar scene because, Jesus, talk about an all-timer way for us to say goodbye to Gus. I'm glad that they never showed Gus again, that was the perfect note for the character to leave us forever on. Again, victory has to be bittersweet, and he has to get the choice to walk away from this, only he doesn't really get a choice.
Giancarlo's ability to wordlessly convey volumes of inner turmoil was so good, I love so much about Gus' presentation and how non-verbal it is in the moments where it matters most. Also love that they somehow worked in a way for Gus and Lalo to Villain Monologue at each other prior, 10/10.
I kinda missed Jonathan Banks this season, but Mike was such a fixture in the early seasons of the show (and back then, the only part that interested me, I was a little too young and restless to stay awake for much of the lawyer business in Seasons 1-3) that, I get why he had to take a backseat. Dearly loved all of the Mike scenes in this season as well. Also, still miss Michael Mando, and if anything is gonna get me to rewatch this show (and it's far from just one thing), it's gonna be getting to see Michael Mando as Nacho again and really appreciate the character and all he brought to it.
I wasn't actually looking forward that much to seeing Walt and Jesse again because I was kinda afraid that, with BCS already kind of being seen as living in Breaking Bad's shadow, that it was gonna be this whole thing and, honestly I was fine with them not showing up at all. I thought the RV scene was neat and didn't think much besides that.
But then that Kim &Jesse scene happened and suddenly I remembered that, oh yeah, I fucking love Jesse Pinkman and he's one of my favorite characters ever, and here he is interacting with another of my favorite characters ever, and oh God Aaron Paul's doing such an amazing job at playing S1 goofball Jesse, this can't be easy, and oh this scene is so incredibly meaningful and of course they're gonna have Jesse Pinkman deliver bullshit monologues about Baby Jesus and his idiot friends while completely unaware of the massive weight of the narrative ready to pounce on him from behind, and of course it's Kim who has to pass the torch to him.
I was of the opinion that El Camino wasn't really something that had to exist but, nobody in their right minds would complain about getting another hour plus of Aaron Paul as Jesse Pinkman, completely on his own, getting to claw for a set-in-stone freedom one last time. That said, I deeply love this being the last we ever get to see of Jesse Pinkman. This kind of fleeting glimpse into what he was, what we first knew him as, his innocence and humor here heavy with the weight of everything that's going to happen to him.
Crushing but strangely liberating at once, to see Jesse like this and to know for sure that, at the very end, away from his parents and Saul Goodman and Walter White and those fucking nazis, he will finally find his freedom and walk away with the closest this universe can give you in regards to a happy ending, just as Kim did.
(By Breaking Bad Irony)
And on the OTHER hand, I deeply loved that Walter White's final scene was a microcosm not just of the fly episode (which in itself was a deeply significant microcosm of the show), but also of his entire character and role in Saul Goodman's life. He shows up, makes mountains out of molehills, desperately tries to fix problems while making them infinitely worse, acts like a pedantic arrogant jackass the entire time, complains about his chronic inability to make decent life choices, and then just casually devastates the only person around him he can still bully, before leaving others to deal with the noise.
I love that, compared to his guns-blazing semi-redemption at the end of Breaking Bad and the bittersweet flashback at El Camino, to Better Call Saul, there is nothing redeemable about Walter and his lifetime of regrets, there is only the fallout of all he destroyed. In the end, Saul Goodman's big shot was just Worse Chuck, and nobody has anything but contempt for his name here. Rest in shit Heisenberg, nobody even dignifies you with your cool made-up name anymore.
We absolutely had to get a Chuck flashback and, in an episode heavy with the idea of regrets and time machines, of course this was gonna be Jimmy's. Maybe the one chance he ever had, to turn things around with Chuck, the one time Chuck ever reached out to him for a change, maybe the one time Chuck could have changed if only a little, and so could Jimmy.
Chuck is rightfully remembered as such a pain in the ass and even one of the reasons people disliked the show, and the current response to him always seemed to be 50/50 between "Chuck was a monster that ruined every chance his brother had at being good" and "Chuck was right about literally everything that Jimmy was and would be" but, I liked that his final scene just punctuates what an awful, awful tragedy it was for the both of them to turn out like this, that they both could and should have done so many things differently, that they both deserved better than to destroy each other like they did. That, more so than Walter or Howard, Chuck is Jimmy's biggest regret and the one he'd been dying to confess the most to.
If the running idea across most posts I've written or reblogged about this show is that Better Call Saul is a ghost story, there was really no other way this show could have possibly ended without the exorcism of it's greatest, most pervasive and dangerous ghost: Saul Goodman. And maybe Saul Goodman's never really gonna be banished for good, the prison mates will surely never let their hero die (and isn't that what Jimmy wanted Saul to be? A hero, the guy with the slingshot?), but we know better, and more importantly, Kim knows better. There's only one person who still knows Jimmy McGill, and it's the only person that matters, because this was a love story.
There was really no other way this could have possibly ended for Jimmy and Kim and, I love that in the end, the poster boy for dodging the law and it's consequences, the character who made a living out of slipping away scott-free, the King of Getting Away With It, was the ONLY major character in this world who ended up facing legal consequences for what he did.
Just, fucking Saul Goodman being the only major character in this universe who goes to jail and stays there, and of his own volition no less. They couldn't kill him, and they couldn't let him go free, he had to get a unique fate and that was it. They let him "win" and get 7 years, show that he very much could have just gotten away with it, but he didn't, because he changed, because he had to prove he'd changed, because it had to mean something.
Man am I glad that I just happened to download a couple of songs off the BCS soundtrack a few days prior to watching this, because when that final smoking scene started playing the track "Shared Smoke" that also played in the smoking scene in the first episode, I was SO glad to be able to recognize it.
I hope they don't do more spin-offs but, I would absolutely watch anything these people did. They made so much of what seemed like such an unworkable premise it's nothing short of magic.
It was a love story, first and foremost. It was also a ghost story. It was a crime drama. It was a lawyer show. It was a comedy. It was a horror show. It was a story about people becoming the worst versions of themselves. It was about the best versions of ourselves coming through at the last minute. It was a downfall and a redemption. It was the beginning of a legend and the end of an era. It was everything that could have possibly been expected of it and it was a million other things it had no right to be. It was a FUCKING SPIN-OFF and it held a grip on our souls and it's gonna be greatly missed.
Would have still liked to see Huell one last time though. Hope he's doing fine in Louisiana.
#better call saul#breaking bad#bcs#bcs s6#bcs spoilers#peter gould#vince gilligan#bob odenkirk#tony dalton#rhea seehorn#giancarlo esposito#michael mckean#aaron paul#bryan cranston#youtube stuff
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Trouble in Paradise: Relationship HC's
Just some general cute headcanons for my ship with Sully! I've been thinking about him a lot lately, and we're rewatching all of the trilogy again. So I can't help myself but ramble about my fucking favorite old man lmao~ You can find out more about their relationship in my good doc (currently a wip I'll post in the upcoming weeks, hopefully), but for now I have a refsheet of my Uncharted insert -> here!!
♡♡ Warning(s): highly suggestive mentions throughout, self insert x canon, fluff ♡♡
Their relationship started off as a casual hookup that was on and off for several months. The timeframe is incredibly iffy, considering the fact that they're both busy and could only see each other whenever they were both in town. Violet was the first to technically develop feelings, however some could argue that Sully had felt something more since the moment that they met.
Everything about them in the early days screamed old married couple in the way that they bantered and bickered, especially leading up to the first official date they had. Even after they get together it's still very much the same, though once they are married much later, it's very gushy and romantic.
Sully loves to call them random pet names throughout their adventures, especially given the reactions that they give. He tends to lean towards a few: Sweetheart, Sugar, Gorgeous, Darlin'
Some honorable mentions include: Kitten 🤢, Honey, Angel, Pretty Lady, Buttercup
Nicknames for him include: Baby, Handsome, Love (very intimate moments)
Violet sketches him a lot in their notebook, which started early on in their adventures and meeting each other. He wasn't fully aware of this until during a particular job when they accidentally dropped it near a puddle. He caught it just in time, catching a glimpse on the drawings before he handed it back. Since then he never let them live it down.
He likes to pull them in by their lower back just before he kisses them, or when he's intensively flirting with them. It's a telltale sign that he's feeling rather playful, which only gets them blushing like hell.
When Violet plays hard to get it entices him even more, especially given that they don't even try for that long. Just enough for him to tease them and have them wrapped around his fingers as fast as he can help it. The coaxing is the best part for him (and them).
The man absolutely loves their giggle. So much so that he is doing anything and everything to hear it over and over again. Doesn't matter where they are or what they are doing, he’s gonna have them giggling as loud as they can. And he’s incredibly proud of himself too. Prides himself on how good he is at getting it out of them. Especially in such a cute way.
They'll steal his shirts a lot and wear them without him even being fully aware, not that he’ll complain when they show up with it on. And he’s definitely staring at them the entire time. Noticing that they are wearing nothing underneath it and leaving a lot of buttons undone just to tease him.
Sully spoils the hell out of them both affectionately and materialistically, making sure that they always have everything they could ever want. Whether that's a brand new bag that they have been eyeing, or a movie that they have been dying to see. He is jumping at the chance to do it for them, especially if it means seeing that beautiful smile on their face.
This does mean that he is calling up Nate for some more opportunities to make money now that he has Violet to spoil rotten. Making for a lot of interesting conversations about how they're costing him hell, but in the best of ways.
Even though they got out on their fair share of extremely romantic destination dates, they do have plenty of romantic nights in that they share whenever they can. Having takeout while talking about their lives, sharing stories and putting on some show that they only watch together.
Sully enjoys hearing them ramble about their favorite topics, especially when it comes to their passions. He could listen for hours while they info dump, enjoying the sparkle in their blue eyes. The one time in which he is the most silent is when they are in this particular mood, and the smile never leaves his face.
#self insert#self ship#♡ trouble in paradise#self insert x canon#uncharted insert#victor sullivan#fluff#highly suggestive mention
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Current watchlist (July 8th 2023)
Back to Tumblr again after some crazy work weeks in May and traveling to Canada in June so this list needs updating !
Currently watching : Till the End of the Moon (ep 18, I had made posts about trying to resist it, then got too busy anyway, but I was sick for the past few days and here we are and I love it), The Office season 7 (ep 17, it's crazy how this show is so long but I'm still enjoying it, they're like my family now), The Ultimatum France (ep 9, very different from the Queer Love version I also watched recently!), Avatar the Last Airbender season 1 (ep 10, yes it's my first time watching ATLA and it's very fun), Tomorrow (ep 4, this Kdrama about suicide keeps making me question how much I like it or not)
Rewatching : Hometown Cha Cha (ep 12, such a wholesome show that makes me feel wrapped in love) , Gilmore Girls season 1 (another comfort show), Mindhunters season 2 (the opposite of a comfort show, but I'm so frustrated that there isn't a season 3), Fringe season 1 (getting my roommate into a new show !)
Just finished : Shadow and Bones season 2 (still super into it, looking forward to season 3 ! also Jesper x Wylan afbtirhrbrktlykg), The Ultimatum Queer Love (supreme mess of a show, terribly entertaining until the stuff that comes out in the reunion), Love is Blind season 4 (okay I had a reality TV phase)... And I think that's it ? I'm realising I've left a lot of shows on pause
Movies recently watched : Burning Days (4* oppressing Turkish social thriller with good homoeroticism), Je verrai toujours vos visages (5*, everything I wanted out of this French movie about reparative justice and mediation), Hidden Figures (3*, a good time), Us (3* not a good time but fascinating and disturbing, I need to read some analysis of it), M3gan (4* all around a great time of comedic horror) The Fabelmans (2* good, fine, nothing I'll remember much) Women talking (3* some excellent excellent things, others that don't quite land, super interesting and worth watching though)
On pause : Basically all the BL/GL shows, I haven't watched more of Bed Friend (want to start again though), HIStory 3: Trapped (I'm thinking about just abandoning it though), My School President (it's cute but maybe a bit too teenager-y for me), nor GAP The Series (I love Khun Sam but she also really annoys me)
To watch : Triage (just looks like a solid BL) , Drag Race France season 2 (so excited to support our French queens), Oppenheimer (don't know if I'll love everything about it but it seems very visually appealing), Love me if you dare (I tried to watch this TW-drama back when it came out in 2015, I found it boring and dropped it but people keep raving about it)
#watchlist#cdrama#xianxia#bl shows#currently watching#till the end of the moon#the ultimatum queer love#atla#hometown cha cha cha#gilmore girls#mindhunter#love is blind#us movie#hidden figures#the fabelmans#m3gan movie#women talking#triage#bed friend#gap the series#history 3: trapped#oppenheimer#tomorrow kdrama#kdrama#thai bl
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Yes, it’s been a while, yes, I’m aware that it’s no longer 2022, but here we are, back again with the Great BSG Rewatch of 2022!
Obligatory plug for Galactica Big Bang here, since that’s a thing now XD Signups will open July 1, I’ll be posting more about it here and on the event tumblr as we get closer to that. We also have a Discord!
Anyway, that shameless self-promotion aside, we’re picking up with Season 3! This is actually my favorite season overall--despite the fact that it doesn’t include my very favorite episode(/two-parter) and does include my least favorite episode (which we’ll get to in the back half of the season) along with a couple other storylines that irk me. It feels just...IDK, even though this is the real start of the ‘writing by the seat of our pants’ problems that are a Thing in the second half of this series, and it’s not actually all that cohesive, as a season it feels weirdly cohesive? Like, thematically, and so on. And anyway I just like it.
I am splitting this up into halves, like I did with season 2, and there aren’t any Extras in this round (I should probably track down the Resistance webisodes; I know I have the Face of the Enemy stuff, but not those). So this covers everything from Occupation through The Passage.
My notes on the miniseries and Season 1 can be found here; and my notes on the first half of S2 (plus Resurrection Ship and Razor) can be found here. My notes on the rest of S2 (plus The Plan) can be found here.
As before, my notes contain spoilers because I have seen the full series before. I’ve copied over a lot of quotes I like, some with commentary, some with just Flailing. Also some plot/construction notes, and some notes to myself about The Other Battlestar (which I swear I am actually working on; although it needs a better title lol) and a couple other self-indulgent AUs/potential fic projects, which I have deleted. There might be a few I missed, though.
Also, warnings. Very Very important content warnings: genocide, suicide, intimate partner violence, torture, and sexual assault, as well as a lot of other Violence. And, because we are living in a post-COVID world, plague/pandemic stuff. The torture warnings are particularly heavy for both halves of season 3. Also, there’s quite a bit of dubcon in this first half. And a lot of fatphobia/diet culture BS. Feel free to send me an ask if you want more details.
That should cover it, so let’s get down to business to defeat the Huns wait wrong fandom. MOVING ON.
Occupation:
And the opening bit has changed! At least adding that bit with Caprica waking up and her and Boomer(?) and A Random Five coming to accept the surrender.
Kara gets the previously-on!
…which then dives Right into Creepy!Leoben because Of Course, that whole Thing.
YAY MY 2000-YEAR-OLD DYSFUNCTIONAL ROBOT DRUNKS IN LOVE
I’m sorry I can’t take the moustache seriously XD
Oh that closeup on Ellen’s ring during the flashes of her and Cavil, and cut together with building a bomb and lighting candles in a temple and. I love this arc A Whole Lot guys, there will probably be not much intelligent Commentary, mostly just Flailing.
I do like the way this bit with Ellen is shot, without showing Cavil’s face for a very long time, to let you think it’s Tigh thinking about that while he’s in lockup.
Huh, Bill still wears his wedding ring, I don’t think I’d picked up on that before.
Chief’s post-timeskip facial hair is pretty great.
Aaaaaaand now we’re up to the Creepy Dollhouse.
Lol Cavil just casually putting on his sunglasses.
Aaaaand now we can see she was screwing Cavil. Or hear, at least, the face is still unclear, but given what she says and her attitude when she climbs off…
Yay, bombs!
And this just gets Creepier and Creepier the more we learn about Cavil and the Final Five.
Lol “we gotta get you processed. Bureaucracy, you know.” Cavil just enjoys frakking with him.
Awwwww, the way they Cling to each other when he gets out.
YOU ARE SO CREEPY LEOBEN
Niiiiiice they weren’t even sharp and went all the way through his neck.
Wonder how many times she’s done this. Given how casually he says “I’ll see you soon” probably Many.
And this music as she picks up the knife and finishes her dinner with her hand still bloody and she’s very Mannerly about that part and I love it.
Ooooh, and different words!!! And no survivor count.
BABY! Oh, poor Nicky, did you get screwed over by the narrative.
134 days into the occupation.
Mars day.
Lol Cavil’s air quotes on ‘god’
D’Anna is also only halfway paying attention; hard to tell how much attention Baltar is paying until they suggest executing him. XD
And Caprica’s like “nope” “just because he’s your favorite toy.”
Oooh, and she specifically looks to D’Anna on ‘anyone who wants to challenge that [he’s with me].’ I guess they were setting that up already.
Still wish we knew whether this D’Anna was Fleet!D’Anna or Downloaded!D’Anna or both (probably not both But)
YAY MY BEST BELOVED MOST IRONICALLY NAMED MAN IN THE UNIVERSE FELIX GAETA. AND THE PUPPY!!!!!
Puppy is very very important.
Baby!!!
Nice, dug-out cellar safehouses, that’s what I thought I remembered.
Ah, the Irony XD
So, Gaeta’s been passing stuff for weeks, which seems to have started after Tigh was arrested. I wonder if he tried other things before he worked out this system, or if it just took him a couple months to figure Anything out about making contact?
And Tigh and Cavil are using very similar “send a message” rhetoric, that’s interesting.
And yeah, can’t blame Sam for taking the ‘they’re not coming for us’ attitude. And this argument between him and Saul is just. Amazing, I love it.
And Tigh’s face with “any word on Kara” I love their relationship so much.
“Hi, honey, I’m home.”
Five times, apparently!
Lol the casual way he steps over his own dead body.
And she doesn’t kill him that time, interesting.
“I’m a patient man.” “You’re not a man.” “I’m willing to wait. You just need more time.” SO FUCKING CREEPY.
“To know the face of God is to know madness.” I feel like that’s come up before and every time I hear it it’s followed up with “To love another person is to see the face of God” in my head. IDK if I’m going anywhere with that but…there it is.
“Either way you’ll be spending the night with me” FUCK. “I do love you, Kara Thrace.” Ffffffuck.
Oh man how quiet the flight deck is.
YAY KAT
THIS FUCKING SUBPLOT I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH.
Hi Hoshi!
Oh shit collision.
Dee is so pretty. And deserves so much better.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.
“You’re weak, soft. Mentally and physically.” I HATE THIS SUBPLOT. I REALLY HATE IT.
Not Lee and Bill fighting, that’s whatever. The Fat!Lee subplot, it is every kind of. Fuck it. Just fuck it. I hate it so much I can’t even words.
Playing pyramid while planning a suicide bombing yay.
“Not the first time we’ve sent a soldier on a one-way mission.”
“Some things you don’t do, even in war.” “Maybe you’ll feel different when it’s you sitting in detention.”
And Bill and Athena, yay!!! I still like my headcanon for why her hair is the same exact length as her sisters here XD
“I don’t do guilt,” he lied, like a liar.
“I sat here consumed with rage at all the things that had happened to me. And at some point I realized it was just guilt.” And she does call her betrayal what it is. And talks about choosing to forgive herself and move forward.
This is interesting, I’d kind of like to watch this scene back to back with that one bit with Dee during the Kobol arc.
Dee is so irritated right now and I kind of want to fast forward past this entire scene except I’m Committed to a full rewatch and if I didn’t fast forward through some of the earlier bits like in Six Degrees or Captain’s Hand I’m not gonna skip this. Also Dee’s face is pretty.
“You lost your war. And you’re a soldier who needs a war.” Interesting.
…and that was slightly Awkward exposition “that’s one of the reasons I married you.”
If they had Felix on the ground with them they’d probably have more luck with the comms.
And yep, there is a Raptor because of course there is.
YAY CONTACT!
Her face when they make contact!!!!
Have hope. We’re coming for you.
<33333333333
Tory is also Very Pretty.
I am…actually not surprised that there are 200 people. There were always going to be the Majority of people, who keep their heads down and just try to survive, low-level cooperation as necessary, and then the people on the outer extremes of either Resistance or Collaboration. And there are always going to be enough people on that Collaboration fringe. And they’ll have a lot of reasons for it, it’ll vary from person to person, but…it’ll always happen.
Ohhhhhh this prayer. Even without watching Resistance and getting to know this guy it’s. It’s a Lot.
And Baltar decides at the last minute not to go to the ceremony.
Felix’s hair is so Floofy I love it.
As he BOLTS to the dead drop location.
Tigh makes a very good tactical point. But does allow for the strike to be aborted if Baltar isn’t going to be there but Chief doesn’t get the message in time and…yeah.
He checks the bowl a Minute too early if he’d been just a Minute later…
“They call this a suicide vest, but I think that really underplays the homicide involved.”
OH THAT SHOT WITH THE CRACKED MIRROR
Don’t look suspicious don’t look suspicious
Centurion jumpscare! But then it turns away and lets him pass.
BOOM
Precipice:
Bill gets the previously on, I think!
Subtitles that was not Starbuck
Yessssss prison conversation!!!!! I love the scenes with the two of them talking when one of them’s in prison. They’re just. Some of the best.
(Yeah, no real comments I just. I just love scenes like this with Laura and Gaius.)
“Their only crime was putting on a uniform.” I think it’s this episode or maybe it’s the next one where Bill has a really great line about the importance of symbols/uniforms and just. PARALLELS I LOVE IT.
Well that’s almost certainly not Philosopher!Cavil but he did steal his hat!
“Which side are we on? We’re on the side of the demons, Chief. We’re evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spend devastation and destruction wherever we go. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.” I LOVE THAT LINE SO MUCH.
I also love how, whatever other shortages there might be, they Never run out of cigarettes XD
1150 armed effectives, nice to have numbers!
“Eventually, your people will see you as heroes.” “Not tonight."
Oh right Cally got taken I forgot that.
Poor Nicky. Poor poor Nicky.
Oh man especially after “one of these days you’re just not going to come home” she said in the last episode and oh maaaaaaan.
I do like the Bright Colored Coats in that shot of the marketplace.
Yeah, destroying the launch keys would cause more problems than it solved.
And Lee’s not wrong about the weapons drop.
“Detention is run by a separate ministry.” “How do you do it? How do you help them day after day? How do you look yourself in the mirror?" And Gaeta just. Trying to keep his cover. But he promises to do what he can to find out. “Why don’t you try and do something?” He is. But he cannot say it. Especially not where they might be overheard.
And Jammer is having Emotions.
“I bet they’re in over their heads. At first I bet they thought they were doing something good at first. Get the Cylons off the streets.” “Then they were frakking idiots. What did they expect? …you know any names?” “…no.”
“One day when this is all over, guys like Gaeta are gonna get strung up. And guys like you and me are gonna be there tying the knots.” Knowing how Collaborators actually goes, and how Chief handles things in there…MAN.
AND THE CREEPY THING WITH THE TODDLER LEOBEN YOU’RE A CREEPER JUST STOP.
“I remember I blew the crap out of that place.” “It wasn’t a total loss. We were able to salvage certain things. Like your ovary.” CREEP. ER.
She is a very cute little girl, though.
“What’s that?” Lol.
Ohh, that little half-smile as he carries her down the stairs.
YAY COMMISSIONING ATHENA TO SEND HER AS A LIAISON!!!
Okay, 2000 civilians with the battlestars yay numbers.
Oh and that reference to the Centurions being carefully restrained.
“If we go back to New Caprica now, and we lose, then humanity just stops. And admiral stars don’t give you the right to make that gamble.”
And that’s why Bill splits Lee and Pegasus off as a failsafe. “I know why we left those people behind. And I know it was their choice to be down there. And I realize the survival of the human race outweighs everything else. But this time, I can’t live with it.” Yesssssss
And they hug. But they don’t get their music this time.
Leoben is still fucking creepy talking about their fake baby’s future.
No, Starbuck’s not gonna let the little girl starve but. Man.
And this conversation about suicide bombings I love it. I love Laura and I love Saul and just. Love all of this.
Yeah, Saul, you deserved that. And Sam’s face in the background like “oooooh shit”
“Sometimes I think that you’ve got ice water in those veins and other times I think you’re just a naïve little schoolteacher. I’ve sent men on suicide missions in two wars now. And let me tell you something. It don’t make a godsdamned bit of difference if they whether they’re riding in a viper or walking out onto a parade ground. In the end, they’re just as dead. So take your piety and your moralizing and your high-minded principles and stick ‘em someplace safe until we’re off this rock and you’re sitting in your nice cushy chair on Colonial One again. I’ve got a war to fight.”
Tigh has the BEST LINE in this arc.
And Boomer is like “this is fucked up” and Caprica’s like “yes it is but how else to we respond to suicide bombings”
And Boomer is having Emotions!
(Lol Kacey’s mom is going to get one foulmouthed toddler back XD)
And Boomer goes to see Cally! Who was the cause of her (first?) death!
“I want you and Galen to know that I’m happy for you, especially since you started a family. Something he and I talked about before.” “Can you get me out of here?” “I don’t know. I have nothing to do with internal security—” “Then frak off you stupid frakked up toaster. How many times do I have to shoot you anyway? If you can’t help me, then just go away and leave us alone!”
EMOTIONS
Oh man this scene.
Power substation is crippled, two weeks to repair.
Just this pan around the circle of Cylons.
Caprica’s face oh man.
And he looks to her for help and she tries to defend him and.
“The first act of Cylon on Cylon violence” lol no.
“Everything we do requires your signature.”
“They’re covering their existential asses.” LOL.
“Then we’ll find another President.”
So this is…probably the first time Caprica has been killed in front of him to make a point But.
And the other Sixes’ faces.
“She’ll be back.” “But if he pulls that trigger now you won’t.”
Oh man and the change of lighting when we switch to Head!Six.
Interesting implication that she hasn’t been around and turns up after Caprica gets shot and then. And then he looks down and he’s already signed, and they’re just. Lined up staring at him. And that one Five is a little out of breath.
And we get a closeup on Boomer’s face and. Oh man.
YAY SHARON AGATHON
Helo is so haaaaaaappy
Aww, their little smiles as they walk away holding hands.
“Looks good on you. Belongs on you.” Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH
“Can I ask you a question? How do you know? How do you know that you can trust me?” “I don’t. That’s what trust is. Good hunting, Lieutenant.”
Oh man Ellen’s faaaaaaace. And then Cavil asks about Saul and she freezes. And he’s asking for intel about the insurgency.
“We know he’s their leader. Why do you think we let him out of detention?” “I thought it was because of the twist.” “Well, yes, that too, for sure.”
“I want a specific place and a specific time of a very high-level meeting of the insurgency. If I don’t get it, we’ll pick up Saul again. And this time, he’ll lose more than an eye.”
And Saul’s reaction to hearing about Athena’s commission.
And Sam has the map for the meet! And hides it away when there’s a knock but pulls it back out when he sees it’s Ellen and oh man.
Yep, Sam knows how this part of things works, that’s why he’s on this council with the military guys.
And she takes the map when he’s planning to burn it and. Oh man. Her Face.
“Tell me you didn’t sign it, Gaius.”
“Have you even looked at the names?” “I’VE SEEN THEM. I’ve seen them, all right? There was nothing I could do.”
“No one enjoys the thought of mortal death, Boomer. But she tried to murder you. Maybe it’s God’s justice.”
AND THEN THERE’S THIS ASSHOLE (AFFECTIONATE)
And Zarek’s been in detention the whole time because he refused to collaborate.
Aww, Sam and Athena hug!!!
“Been a long time.” “Funny, I feel like I see you every day.” And her little half-smile.
And Gaeta is trying to find Cally in one of the trucks so he can help her.
Oh man and Kara taking Leoben’s hand there because. Oh shit.
“Last year. You tried to steal the election, didn’t you?” “Yes, I did.” “I wish you’d gone through with it.” “Me, too.” And on the one hand, when the Cylons turned up there was absolutely no choice but surrender (it’s everything he did After that that’s the problem). On the other hand, if she’d won, they never would’ve settled. So no one would’ve been in that position.
…but would something similar have played out on a less shitty planet if the Cylons caught up to them there? Interesting thought experiment.
And Jammer pulls Cally out of line and she obviously thinks he’s going to do Horrible Things to her which. Yeah.
Especially when he pulls out the knife. But then he cuts the tie and tells her to run and not look back.
And now all the police flee and Cavil just sidesteps as the Centurions show up. And Tom pulls Laura back and Cally is fleeing and she hears the shots and.
I love this arc a whole lot.
Exodus 1:
Chief gets the previously-on I think.
Maya! She’s like the only Wholesome named character in the entire canon. XD
Oh that shot of the empty socket.
“I want you to know that I would do anything for you.” And she was a split second from confessing and then Chief interrupts.
And he’s shaved!
And Saul cuts through Chief’s panic. “Take four men and get there ahead of the trucks. Chief! Pull it together. You won’t do her any good if you get caught too. Besides, the last thing your son wants is me and Ellen for parents.” There are so many levels of With Context there I can’t even XD
And Chief is still flailing while he looks for the coordinate list I love him. This relationship is very fucked up but I love him.
Yay Cottle’s in this episode!!!!
And Athena had her marines positioned for cover because she is Smart and so are they.
Chief’s learned a lot about ground ops since Kobol. So has Seelix.
“Where there are skinjobs, there are bulletheads. Break out the RPG.”
…oh man, that’s a thought. Chief, Cally, and Seelix were all on Kobol together (with Baltar). And now the three of them are here at that execution site. Does it mean anything? Probably not! But it’s a Thought!
Oh man, Chief holding Cally down under cover. And Jammer took his mask off.
Aaaaaand they find the map on Cavil.
OH RIGHT I KNOW THAT GUY. I forgot he was introduced this early but he’s in the Circle, isn’t he?
“They were waiting for us. Right where we thought.” Marine is like “yep I know my business thank you for listening” and then Sam gets the map back aaaaaand realizes Ellen sold them out and. Oh boy.
“Been a while since I had a woman throw me to the ground. Not quite as much fun as I remember.” LOL.
And Seelix makes sure the gun is out of range so Cavil will die slow.
And now Whichever D’Anna This Is is having Visions! I do love the really cool greyed-out lighting effects for this whole thing. And she sees the bodies, and hears Hera crying and sees herself picking the baby up.
“It doesn’t matter to me, really.” “You can stop that right now. My ego’s not so fragile as all of that.” Lol I forgot that bit was in there. “These things happen. Or they don’t happen.”
Okay Doral is not Entirely wrong about the importance of sanitation (and also that ‘lack of toilet paper’ comment hits a little different post-COVID lol)
“Four months of this, Gaius. Four months of watching you slip further and further down into this well of self-hatred and loathing. Do you know what I’ve given up for you? Do you?” “Do you know, what with the occupation and everything. I really can’t say I’ve given it that much thought recently.”
And this is why I headcanon that they actually don’t talk that much during this period. Not about anything serious or real. Except when he lashes out like this. They don’t talk about what they did. What they’re doing. It came up in a fic I wrote ages ago (which probably should’ve been two fics, it was two conversations) but like…yeah.
And then he says “Don’t go. …please.” And she watches him drink, and she does come back. Because they do love each other, even if there are these hollow places between them, these things they can’t say. (I do ship them very much; I do love their ending together; and I have…many more things to say about this period in their relationship but that is not the purpose of these notes lol.)
And that is actually Good Parenting, to apologize to the little girl and say it was because “I was upset with myself, not with you. Grown-ups do stupid things sometimes.” I love Kara a whole lot.
And Kacey grabbing her finger as she turns to leave and FEELINGS.
And Leoben is watching them.
D’Anna going through the city, seeing little flashes from her vision/nightmare…
[yeah there are reasons she’s another one I headcanon as force-sensitive for crossover purposes darth lawless is a cylon]
“Don’t be afraid, I know who you are, what you are. Poor thing. You must be terrified.”
“Zeus sees all. Sees you, Number Three. Sees your pain, your destiny. All the gods weep for you.” Oooooooooooh.
“There’s no Zeus. No other god but God.” “You don’t believe that anymore. You don’t know what you believe, and that is why you’re here.” “Not true. I don’t even know why I’m here. Stupidest thing I ever did.”
I’m really loving this scene more than I remembered omg.
“I have a message for you, from the one you worship. He speaks through me to you, just as he does in your dreams. The message is: the fruit born of two peoples is alive. A child named after the wife and sister of the all-knowing Zeus. Hera lives.” “That’s not true. The child is dead.” “You will hold her in your arms, and you’ll know for the first time what it is to feel true love. But you’ll lose everything you’ve done here.” And D’Anna is crying. “…wish I had some chocolate caramels.”
Okay but I love this oracle I want twelve.
Aww, Dee and Helo are being cute. “Will you quite looking at me like that?” “Like what?” “Like we’re never gonna see each other again. We will.” “Take care of the Admiral?” “Take care of his son.”
And this goodbye/separation ceremony I love it so much.
Racetrack reads from the Scrolls, I think! I can’t always recognize her out of her helmet, I’ll admit…
“Always together.” And then the hugs. My heart.
AND A FISTBUMP
“If I’m not back in 18 hours, find Earth.” “Yeah, right.” “I’ll see you at the rendezvous point.” “18 hours. Try not to be late.” “I’m getting old, I’m a little slow. But I’ll be there.” AND NOW WE GET THE MUSIC AND I DON’T LIKE LEE AND. EVERY. GODDAMN. TIME.
“Don’t make me cry on my own hangar deck.” FUCK YOU I’M CRYING YOU CRY WITH ME.
PUPPY!
“You don’t care who I am, do you? All God’s creatures in your eyes.”
YAY COTTLE! “Can’t sleep?” “Bad dreams.” “Didn’t know you people had dreams.” “Sure. Everybody dreams, Doc. That human or cylon blood?” “Cylon. One of the Fives got pretty shot up today by the insurgents. But he’s gonna make it.” “You could’ve let him suffer.” “That’s not what I do.” YES I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
And now D’Anna (D’anna? Which is correct lol) turns the conversation to Hera and Cottle is like “…ah yes. That mess. Yay.”
“When that child died on Galactica, why did you cremate the body? The first cylon-human hybrid, and you threw it into the incinerator?” “It wasn’t my decision. It was the President’s call. I was just following orders.” “…that’s a very funny thing. ‘Cause this stuff all looks the same.”
…I don’t think this is the same dog that Lampkin later gets, I think he gets a yellow lab but I might be misremembering. The POINT is there are possibly TWO ENTIRE PUPPIES in the fleet.
“They left me in the hot sun with a bullet in my guts.” “What a noble race you are.” Shut up, Doral.
“Skin’s a lot tougher than you think.” Yikes. “Now that’s three for me. Three downloads. The first I just got a headache, but I could handle it. Now it’s worse and worse. This time it was like a white-hot poker through my skull. It’s not worth it. None of this is worth it.”
“He’s right, you know,” Gaius says quietly. While crying. …oooooooh. “It’s not worth it. Which is what I believe I’ve been telling you all along.” “Caprica, can you please control him?” “Why don’t you just shoot me, if that’ll remedy the situation?”
Watching Boomer in this scene, as she listens to Cavil’s story and is having Emotions and…knowing where that relationship is going (assuming this is Primary Cavil which. It’s hard to tell, but one can assume if there’s only one One in the scene it’s Probably him unless otherwise specified? Especially for Important Shit like overseeing the mass execution and these meetings.) and also her whole story arc in general. Man.
Caprica’s more ‘I don’t want to hear this but I’ll listen because I am the main reason we’re here.’
And the little glare she shoots Doral when he tells her to control Gaius.
Also the way D’anna was watching Gaius talk.
Oh, and while he was saying ‘why don’t you just shoot me’ Caprica apparently turned away, because she spins back around when Doral suggests cracking down harder.
“Consensus used to be so easy. Now look what they’ve done to us.” Oh, it’s not just this, though it definitely accelerated the fissures here. But.
“Worst comes to worst, we can always just nuke the city and be done with it.”
Aww, Athena refusing to give up her dogtags.
“Thanks for the concern. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”
And Ellen gets dragged in and is Shocked to see Athena and. Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man That Scene is coming up and. GDI I’ve already cried once this episode.
“Where is my husband I want to speak to my husband!”
And Sam asks Athena to keep an eye out for Starbuck “I don’t know if she’s alive or dead, but it’s been four months.” “I’ll do what I can.”
“We’ll keep her on the move, along with other high-value targets. She’ll never stay in one place longer than two or three days.” I wonder who the other high-value targets are?
And Sam doesn’t know why Maya is so valuable, but he trusts Roslin and he will keep her safe. “How far do you want me to go? If it looks like the Cylons are gonna capture them…” “No. Don’t let it get to that point. That’s all.” He does asks what’s so important, and gets the “she may very well be the shape of things to come. That’s either a blessing or a curse” answer, which is vague, but enough for him to figure it out, maybe???? But he was clearly going to do it regardless of the answer, which is I think why Roslin actually let him in on the secret? That was a FASCINATING little moment omg gotta watch it again.
OH MAN ESPECIALLY SINCE THIS FLASHBACK COMES IMMEDIATELY AFTER HIS CONVERSATION WITH ATHENA AND HE KNOWS BUT. BUT BUT BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD.
…I wonder what the original purpose of this dug-out room where they’re having this conversation was. Maybe they just had the basement-type storage under several of the tents? They probably couldn’t’ve started digging them after the occupation, it would’ve drawn too much attention…
His FACE as he puts the pieces together and OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE BUT HE KNEW SAM KNEW AND HE’S ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO’S KNOWN/WORKED WITH ATHENA THE LONGEST IN SOME WAYS SO HIS CHOICE NOT TO TELL HER IS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS IS BREAKING ME HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS SHIT BEFORE OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.
…ahem. I’m okay. Um.
holy shit though omgomgomg
…right, back to D’anna.
She’s wandering through the city, focusing on babies…but that one’s too young to be Hera.
And now the Resistance is talking weapons.
“No Pegasus, just Galactica.” “Why?” “Don’t know, sir. Way beyond my paygrade.”
Zarek asks if they’ve rehearsed. …he’s keeping to his carefully-constructed persona here, but I imagine that if he wasn’t satisfied with what Chief et al are telling him…if anyone knows how to sow chaos, it’s him. [if I write for GBB along with running it, one of my possible ideas (since most of my Ideas are way too long lol) is to do something Zarek-focused; possibly surrounding his original arrest…]
((and there’s this sam knew sam knew sam knew in the back of my brain that I’m not gonna stop thinking for a while lol it’s like https://64.media.tumblr.com/0ac9d8e9014935480bcfb5b3e643c385/f3631f541e57a655-5c/s1280x1920/7280e89354e384b744b17c5be078c1c177d243f3.jpg ))
And Mathias is pointing out that “when there’s shooting and chaos and panic it’ll be different” and Roslin doesn’t exactly tell her she’s wrong but…like there’s nothing else we can do about it, we have to trust we’ve prepared enough and hope for the best at this point.
“I trust you because I trust him.”
And then Ellen gets brought in.
Athena walking through the town, getting Looks and a bottle thrown at her and she just. Keeps moving.
And they confront Saul and Ellen with the map and.
“He said…he said he’d kill you.” “Who said it?” “One of the Brother Cavils. I did it for you, Saul. It was all for you. I had to. I didn’t have any choice. Don’t you see that?” and their FACES oh my god my beloved dumpster fire 2000-year-old robot drunks in love I can’t take it.
And Athena just puts her hand into the datastream, no unsettling self-injury this time Thank Fuck.
Oh, nice, voice-activated storage!!!
And D’anna (or some Three) interrupts. “…my God, it’s you.” Athena pulls a gun. “You’re betraying your own people. For what?” “I’m a Colonial Officer.” “You’re not one of them.” “I gave them my word.” “That’s not what counts. It’s who you give it to.” “I’m gonna have to shoot you now.” “Hera lives.” Oh, okay, it is D’Anna. “…what?” “Your daughter Hera is alive. Your new friends tell you that?” and Athena’s face and her flashbacks and oh maaaaaan.
“They faked her death and hid her from you.” “You would say anything—” “I had dreams. I had strange dreams that made me question my faith. Made me question God. And in the dreams, there was a human oracle, so I went to see Dodona Selloi.” “I’m not going to kill you, but I’m going to wound you so you can’t warn the others.” “The oracle said that the fruit born of two peoples is still alive. That Hera lives and I would hold her in my arms and I will know true love. Put down the gun, and when I find her, you can hold her, too.” And Athena kneecaps her. “Adama wouldn’t lie to me.” “You’re wrong. YOU’RE WRONG!”
Just. Athena’s face during that whole thing.
Enough fuel to make at least one jump! And she congratulates him on his son! “What’s his name?” “Nicolas, after Cally’s grandfather.” “You remember when you helped Chief spread Hera’s ashes? You actually saw the ashes?” “Yeah, of course. Why?” “Nothing. …just make sure Cally never lets her kid out of her sight.”
EMOTIONS.
And Helo is just bursting with pride when he reports that his wife successfully got the launch keys.
And Kat is fidgeting in the rec room and Racetrack is pacing and picks up the phone when it buzzes and IT’S ON!
“You’ve heard the news. You know the mission. You should also know that there’s only way this mission ends. And that’s with the successful rescue of our people off of New Caprica. Look around you. Take a good look at the men and women that stand next to you. Remember their faces. For one day you will tell your children and your grandchildren that you served with such men and women as the universe has never seen, and together you accomplished a feat that will be told and retold down through the ages and find immortality as only the gods once knew. I’m proud to serve with you. Good hunting.” YES YES YES YES YES.
…apparently Captain Kelly was in that episode??? I always miss him, lol…
Exodus 2:
Previously on from Bill!
“I’m having trouble accepting this.” “I know but we have to push forward. Keep the fleet together. Find Earth.”
“I haven’t given up hope.” “Yes, you have. I saw the look on your face when you got back from Galactica. Like you were never going to see him again.” “Am I that easy to read?” “Just to me.”
“No matter what the cost. No matter who we leave behind.” “You can do this. You can get us there. You are the commander of this fleet, and you will guide us to safety.”
(I don’t have a lot of Thoughts on this scene because I generally don’t have a lot of thoughts on Lee, but I do get flashes of why he and Dee love each other, even if she was his second choice.)
Oh no oh no oh no.
Sam pushing at Tigh with all the reasons and he’s like “I get it, all right?” “You know what has to be done here. If you don’t want to do it, I understand. But believe me, Colonel, someone is gonna do this. Now it would be better for her sake if it was you.”
His FACE oh my god oh my god oh no my heart.
(look I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Tigh grows on me more and more with each rewatch and so this is gonna kill me I will be deceased he is now one of my favorites and he and Ellen are just. Oh my god.)
“I had to do it, Saul. I had to. It was all for you. And I want you to know that I would’ve done anything to save you.” “I know. I know. It’s all right. It’s going to be all right.” “No, you don’t understand. I got you out of detention, Saul. It was me. I got you out. I went to see them, the Cylons. Finally got to the one (One?) in charge. And I got him to notice me the way men notice me. I slept with him. And I felt like puking every time he put his filthy hands on me. But I smiled and I faked it to save you, Saul. But you listen to me. I’d do it again. Frak anybody. Do anything. Even gave ‘em the map. I didn’t want anybody to be killed.” And he holds her and she’s crying and. And his face. And. And then he gives her the poisoned cup, and she nods a little. “I could use the drink.” And the LOOK they share. And. Kate Vernon has said she knew and she’s DEFINITELY playing it that way and oh my god his face and how calm she is and. “You’ve always been there for me when I needed you. Oh, I’m exhausted. I feel like I could just curl up here. Should’ve listened to you, Saul. Should’ve stayed on Galactica.” “Don’t worry about any of that now. You just…you just go to sleep.” “I’m sleepy…”
BAWL. ING.
I don’t even care that that was Really Fast for an orally-consumed poison to work I just.
“I love you, Ellen. Do you hear me?”
((this will come up again on the algae planet arc but…like…we have these instances of someone murdering their spouse, and that’s usually a certain Thing, especially when it’s a man murdering his wife, as both cases are, especially in a show with this much intimate partner violence, and yet. AND YET. Both murders are just. EMOTIONS. FEELINGS. BAWLING. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.))
And the way he cries over her body and just. That last line of his. “I love you, Ellen. Do you hear me?”
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Gaeta is just sketching; Baltar is drunk and rambling. “And where are we now? And more to the point, where’s Laura Roslin? Where’s Tom Zarek? At large. Whereabouts unknown. Free, at any rate. Probably with Colonel Tigh. Solidifying the insurgency’s hold on the public’s imagination.” “What would you have us do, Gaius?” D’Anna asks. “Leave. Pack up your Centurions, and go. Please. Go.”
And D’anna’s like “would you really leave us alone if we did that? Or would you raise your children to continue the war? Would you tell them to tell that story to their children, and their children’s children, so that one day they could go out among the stars and hunt the Cylons once more?” “Blood for blood. It has to stop one day.”
OH SHIT. OH SHIT, I THINK HE SAYS THE SAME THING WHEN HE’S TALKING CAVIL DOWN IN DAYBREAK. “Blood for blood. It has to stop one day.”
And ALL OF THE THINGS are exploding!
((Man, the Fours generally get…not a lot to do. I think one Four has had one line in this entire arc.))
Tory coordinating the evacuation!
OF COURSE THERE ARE WEAPONS HIDDEN UNDERNEATH THE PYRAMID COURT
Sam’s running the attack on the detention center.
And the maneuver from the beginning of this arc! Only now it’s For Real. And they do pull it off yay!
And there’s chaos in the office and Caprica goes over to Gaius who is just. Slumped over in the corner. “For nothing. All for nothing.” “We’ll start over, Gaius. A new city to rise from the ashes.” “It’ll be buried. Buried like the cities of old. Consumed by the wrath of God.”
And Boomer (probably) reports that the drone thing worked and we have two battlestars in orbit! “Adama’s back.”
And Leoben hits Starbuck when she tries to overpower him/kill him again to get out the door.
“You’re coming, right?” “My ship’s up there.” “You sure have a sense of the dramatic.” LOVE IT.
“Hey, you, you were on Galactica right?” “I didn’t do anything!” LOL But also poor Jammer. ((also the Parallel to when Helo singled out Baltar in the miniseries i love it))
“All hands, brace for turbulence.”
A second line for Simon! “Where’s Galactica?”
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES DROP THE BUCKET!!!!
FIRE!!!!!!
And Chief’s FACE while he watches this happen torn between “thank fuck” and his mechanic brain SCREAMING
“Well, this oughta be different” LOL HOTDOG
Oh, there’s Kelly.
And the Backlash when Galactica jumps away!!!
And they have Explosives for the prison!
Sam finds Kara yay!
And he’s so relieved she’s breathing and he kisses her “I’m gonna get you out of here” and oh no Kacey
There are too many baseships, they can’t hold off four, they were hoping to hold them off long enough for the civilians to escape and I mean I know how this ends I’ve seen it before but just. Bill’s voice when he says “we can’t hold off four” omg
Bill is running cords and there’s a medic (I don’t think Ishay?) there. And they don’t have their jump drive. And.
“Then that’s it. It’s been an honor.”
And this MUSIC
And then SUDDEN UNEXPECTED PEGASUS
“Damn you, Lee.” “…thank you, Lee.”
Love it.
And Lee is sacrificing Pegasus, putting it right in the center of the basestar formation.
And Kara wakes up and is like “put me down!” and she kisses Sam “is it really you?” “it’s really me, come on, we have to get back to the ships.” “where’s Kacey?” “who’s Kacey?” and yep Starbuck’s running back and Sam goes after her “GODSDAMMIT KARA NO!”
A third line for Simon! “There’s a heavy raider ready to evacuate us.”
The Cylons are pulling back, D’anna says she’ll stay behind to set off the nuke.
“You should go as well, Caprica. …and you. I don’t think you’ll want to be here after we’ve gone. There’s a place for you, too.” “For me?” “You were right and we were wrong. Should be some reward for that.”
“Gaius, we should go.” “I just want to sit here and die.” “You’re gonna get your wish, Gaius.” I LOVE YOU FELIX. And I do remember this confrontation and I love it so much.
Only a few civilian ships left on the ground.
“I believed in you. I believed in the dream of New Caprica.” “Gaeta, we all did,” Caprica tries, and he turns the gun on her. “No! not him. He believed in the dream of Gaius Baltar. The good life. Booze, pills, hot and cold running interns. He led us to the Apocalypse, and I—and I—I turned out to be…” “An idealist,” Gaius says quietly. “There’s no sin in that. Everything you say about me is true. Every word. But you have to listen to me. The Cylons have a nuke in this complex. Nobody…I mean nobody is getting off this planet alive unless I stop D’anna.” “Gaius, she’ll kill you.” “Then she’ll kill me. Or it’ll be down to Mr. Gaeta. Either way, the human race dies with me. Go ahead, shoot. What are you waiting for?” and he pulls the gun up under his chin and says “please. I’m begging you, please.” And that shot of their hands together on the gun. and Felix…still an idealist. Some part of him still a little bit in love with the best parts of Gaius. Gives him the gun. “You have one chance to put things right. Do you understand me? Get the frak out of here! Stop that nuke! Go!”
And Caprica pulls him away, his eyes still locked on Gaeta and. Man that’s another one of my favorite dynamics in this series, all the things that happen between these two. ((there’s a reason I had two versions of my ‘no one mourns the wicked’ icon for these two; one with this scene, the other with gaeta’s execution))
(his finger was actively on the trigger, too, before Gaeta’s hand joined his)
“Good work, and I’ll see you on the other side,” Lee says, when he gives the order to abandon ship.
“You too, Commander.” “Yes, sir.” Lol. But he does take a moment to say goodbye to Pegasus, which has been his home and his command for like a year and a half. “Thank you,” he says.
FUCK I’D FORGOTTEN THAT PEGASUS JUST. STRAIGHT-UP BATTERING RAMS A BASESTAR TO DEATH. TAKING IT WITH IT. WELL FUCKING PLAYED.
And then that piece of debris with the name of the ship.
And it’s eerily quiet under Starbuck yelling for Kacey. And Leoben comes down the stairs with the little girl. “I knew you’d be back. I saw it.”
LEOBEN. STOP. FUCK.
“Say the words. I want to hear it. And I want the rest of it. Like I told you.”
FUCK YOU.
“Fine. You win. I love you.” “Say it again.” And Kacey just looking up at the adults like ? “I love you.” “Now the rest.” And there’s a kiss and. Yikes. Just. Yikes.
“Was it everything you thought it would be?” “That and more. I’ll never forget this moment.” “Neither will I.” More kissing, and then she stabs him. And twists the knife. And Kacey looks down at his body, and here comes Sam!
“I’ll explain later. Let’s move.”
And Caprica and Gaius are looking for D’Anna. And they hear the baby crying!
“Frakking liar,” D’anna says, and then she hears the crying, too.
Poor Maya. Poor, poor Maya.
And Head!Six! “It’s her, Gaius. The first of God’s new generation.” “Hera,” he says.
“It’s a miracle,” Caprica says. “God spared her.”
And he stands up, holding her, as D’anna comes out of the tent.
“Hera,” she breathes. “Can I hold her?” And he hesitates for a moment, and then lets her take the child. And then he turns the gun on her.
“No!” Caprica says. “She won’t set off the nuke. Not anymore. Come on, Gaius. We have to go.”
And he follows her through the ashes and away.
And that shot of Laura back at her desk is Amazing. “All right. I’m ready to go.”
Chief’s face on seeing Kara with a baby. “I thought you were dead!” “Yeah, so did I!”
And then Kacey’s actual mom!!!
And that frozen heartbreak on Kara’s face, and then she forces a smile and.
“But you saved her. Gods bless you.”
That wild look on Kara’s face oh man oh man oh man.
Bill welcoming everyone aboard and Helo and Athena HUGGING and
And then Lee and Dee getting off their raptor and Bill like. “I guess you didn’t understand my orders.” “Never could read your handwriting.” MORE HUGS
“Permission to come aboard sir.” Oh, Saul. Oh poor Saul. “Permission granted.” And they exchange salutes, and. And the looks on their faces. “You did it. You brought ‘em home, Saul.” “Not all of them.” “I’m sorry.”
EMOTIONS. SO MANY EMOTIONS.
And then Bill is pulled away by the celebrating evacuees and Saul is just. Broken. :((((((( and back to Kara’s face and. And and and.
Oh, and there’s Gaeta leaning uncertainly against a raptor and.
EMOTIONS. THAT IS ALL.
“We’re still double-checking the manifests, but it doesn’t look like Maya made it off New Caprica.” “What about the baby?” And Tory just shakes her head. “I was there when the two guards left to take them to their ship. I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry. I let you down, and I know that.” “No, you didn’t. it’s not your fault.”
…want to remember this for when I get to S4.
“This is bigger than us. This is life.”
And shaving off the moustache!
The FUCKING LIGHTER MUSIC AGAIN
Collaborators:
Gaeta gets the previously-on!
Oh, Jammer.
And Chief isn’t super thrilled about this whole situation but he’s doing it. It is really interesting to watch the faces/feelings/reactions of the different people in the circle.
Oh man Chief just quietly asking “did you do it.”
Okay, three days off of New Caprica at this point. I do love timeline markers! Don’t think we get a whole lot after this (except in No Exit?) but they’re nice while they last, lol.
And Chief didn’t watch the execution, his back was turned. Everyone else did.
Anders is starting to doubt the mission of the circle. Chief…isn’t doubting in the same way, but he hates it.
Nicky is such a cute pudgy baby I wanna squish his li’l cheeks I love him.
Chief asking Cally if Jammer was telling the truth. Too late to change his decision, and it wouldn’t have changed anything either, but he just…wants to know.
“How did you know about that?” Good question Cally.
Back to the usual titles! 41,435.
RIGHT THIS BIT. I love the blooper where Mary McDonnell and James Callis both crack up when she goes in for the kiss. XD
“Oh no.” “What?” “I’m dreaming, aren’t I.” Yes, you are.”
Oh right, the part where he’s just. Naked. For a good chunk of the episode.
I will say that, while this show doesn’t get nearly up to Spartacus’ level, it is pretty good about equal-opportunity nudity. And a fair amount of the nudity isn’t really sexual, just…naked.
…wonder what the last three days on that basestar have been like.
And Sam is trying but he doesn’t really know how to help Kara, and she doesn’t really know what she needs from him, and…
Three more days to swear in a new Quorum! And then we play musical chairs with the Presidency XD
“The whole thing should take less than an hour.” “You’re stepping down without a fight. That means you want something. Why don’t you put your cards on the table, and let’s see if it’s a price I’m willing to pay.” And yeah, Tom’s like “yeah I’m a realist, I know I’m not gonna actually hold on to power, especially since Bill doesn’t like me. But I want to be part of the new government.”
The thing about Tom here is that…yes, he stood up to Baltar/the occupation regime. He is very good at making a gesture/statement/Point like that. It’s a significant chunk of What He Does throughout the course of the series. But there’s these sort of two sides of him, when it comes to his approach as a public/political figure--making a Point, and being ruthlessly practical. Part of him believes at least a portion of his own rhetoric, part of him just wants power. He cultivates being liked as a means to gain and hold power (as a contrast to Baltar, who cultivates power as a means to being liked/respected, or Laura who just wants to get shit done and knows she can do it/looks at the alternatives and…yeah.) Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that, if he’d been in Baltar’s position on New Caprica, meaning if he’d been President and not VP when the Cylons showed up…I genuinely don’t know which side of him would have won out. Because like I’ve said a couple times, once we get to that point, surrender is the only viable option. And part of Zarek would know that. But he’d also know that, once he made that call, his political career/power base would be absolutely destroyed. Especially given the specific reputation/persona he’s spent the last two years building. Even if he’d managed to get out of Cylon custody and work with the Resistance, even if the alternative to surrender is, best case scenario, he gets shot and they keep going down the chain of command until they find someone who will…so, does President Tom Zarek do the practical thing, or does he take a Stand? As VP, he can afford to take a stand, and show that courage that the Fleet needs, as Laura puts it.
…yeah, there’s a reason my Zarek tag is “and then there’s this asshole (affectionate)” and I might write about him if I write for GBB along with running it. He’s just. Fascinating. There’s so much to dig into here (I mean, there is for most of the characters, that’s kind of what this show Does, but).
…ANYWAY that tangent aside. Presidential musical chairs, resume.
Poor poor ironically named Felix Gaeta. I just wanna give him a hug.
“Who gave this man permission to enter the CIC?” Can’t really blame Tigh. And Helo’s like “Admiral ordered it, to fix the comms.”
And Gaeta just quietly stands there and takes it. “Do you know where my eye is?!”
Bill’s trying to get Saul calmed down, and…yeah, this is all very messy.
“Oh yeah. Just go to sleep. Forget about it all. Just forget about everything. Well I’m not forgetting. I’m not gonna forget.” I really love this in contrast to the way he is very Insistent on keeping things within correct bounds when working with the Circle when Connor wants to be Excessive.
57 more people to try in absentia, three days to do it. “Stop wasting time bitching and moaning. We all knew there was a clock when we signed on to do this.”
Yeah, like I was just saying. Connor “Most of these fraks are so guilty they stink. I can get through 50 of these things in an hour.” And Tigh slams his head into the table, and his voice is. So calm. And like. We know damn well Saul doesn’t have a problem shouting, he does it all the time. And just. Damn. “You think we’re thugs, handing out punishment on a whim? Jammer didn’t get airlocked because you thought he was guilty. There was evidence. You read the witness statements. He was tried and convicted by this circle. This is about justice. You got that? Justice!”
And now Gaeta’s name comes up.
And Tigh is like “You think I want to do this? I stood next to him in the CIC for four years. He was like family. But the fact remains he was Chief of Staff to Gaius Baltar, and that alone is enough to convict him.”
Anders is like “we don’t have any hard evidence, no witness statements, it’s not enough.” Chief agrees. Tigh points out that Baltar probably wasn’t directly running things because…the man has certain skills but. “He was the public face, but Gaeta was the brains. Everyone knew that.” And…honestly, during the year before the occupation, that’s almost certainly true. If only because Gaeta knew if he didn’t do it, Zarek would. Anything that actually did get done was probably mostly Gaeta. …or Zarek, depending on the specific thing.
“We don’t know what Gaeta did or didn’t do when he saw that list.” And Barolay’s like “you see a list like that, and you do nothing about it?”
And they call the question. And Sam’s like “No. I’m done. War’s over for me. I’m sorry.” Conner wants to push ahead without him, Jean’s like “we do need six votes.” Chief’s like “we don’t have six votes, I’m out too.” And Tigh, whatever his other personal feelings, has to agree. Because he wants to do this right. This is about justice.
Oh my god D’anna is so pretty in that dress.
“How are you, Gaius?” “…I’m alive, I suppose that’s something.”
((Also it is. Definitely my headcanon that the pills are 95% to shut Head!Six up. They didn’t really work; she was quiet for other reasons, but.))
The way her fingers linger when she hands them to him, though. And the way he pulls away when she sits down on the couch. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m slightly confused. …how long have I been here, exactly?” “Three days.”
And the vote to let him stay/live is deadlocked. Three to three. And the Sixes are the swing vote, which surprises him. (I…wonder if it’s along the same lines otherwise as the Cylon civil war? The Threes are definitely voting to let him stay; the Ones are definitely voting to ditch him; the Fives probably follow the Ones’ lead. Probably the Eights are voting in his favor, but the Twos and Fours…)
Aaaaand yeah there are Missing Persons reports that Lee has to bring up. And ‘thousands’ of people got left behind on New Caprica, which is helpfully vague ((for fic/rp numbers I’ve used whatever number feels right in the moment))
Lee’s like “no, these are people we know got out, like Jammer.” “…yeah, I just saw him yesterday.”
So, thirteen people are missing, that means thirteen Circle executions. Plus 57 people left to try. Given that they were complaining about the time constraint for the remainder, probably we can assume no more than half of that have already been tried, especially since it probably took Zarek a day or so to set things up, pick his people, etc. There are 70 people on the list For Sure. If we assume maybe a handful don’t get convicted (or aren’t known to have gone missing after evacuating the planet)… 75 is a nice round number of people for Zarek to prioritize. Or maybe 72, that’s a multiple of twelve. Or 84, maybe. I don’t think any higher than that, though.
Ugh this FUCKING subplot again I hate it I hate it I hate it so much. “Hey, I dropped half a stone.” “Keep jumping.” HATE.
And Gaeta is isolated, and Starbuck is glaring at him from across the room, and she approaches and he…wants to believe she’s willing to talk to him. But he’s wary and. Can’t blame him.
“I heard about your situation.” “Right. I just try not to think about it anymore. You know? Kinda like you.”
“What do you want me to say? Maybe I could’ve done more, but when the Cylons landed, I thought it was important for me to keep my job. To help from the inside.” “By propping Baltar up and letting the Cylons walk all over us?” “No! I fed information to the resistance. I set up dead drops. There was a dog bowl. I passed along Cylon positions, internal memoranda…” “Riiiiight, Felix. You’re a frakking hero.”
And he leaves. Because what else can he do at this point.
And Caprica looks so sad. “Whatever feelings I had for you have to stop. I let my feelings cloud my judgment. I protected you. I gave your species a second chance. I even turned against a sister Cylon, and for what? I’m a Cylon, Gaius. Somehow I lost sight of that.” “You are much, much more than a machine. You’re a person. A real person. A woman. And you’re in love with me. And it hurts. I know it hurts. But believe me, I am the only one that can make it better. Don’t you see? I am the only one.” …yeah, you started out okay there, Gaius, if you had stopped with ‘I know it hurts’ or pivoted to ‘because it hurts me too’ or something along those lines…buuuuuuut nope. XD
He's not allowed out of the room, Centurion blocks his way. And then belatedly. “And I need you too! ……….maybe I should’ve started with that.”
((once again, resisting the urge to go on a long tangent about the two of them and their relationship, lol. Look, I love them, I’m invested in their eventual happy ending; I get very different things from the two of them than my other primary ships in this fandom; there’s a Lot to unpack particularly in this phase of their relationship and why it falls apart here despite the fact that they never stop loving each other and Because Destiny Said So is in play.))
Kara joins the Circle! And Tigh is very, very clear on the rules, because it is important to him. …probably because that’s one of the ways he can live with himself. Especially after Ellen.
And it really is interesting, the way Sam (and Chief) are trying to walk away from the hell they went through, trying to move on and keep living. Sam walks away, decides he needs a clean break; Chief stays involved because maybe he thinks the Circle needs someone with that perspective on it. And Tigh in his own way is clinging to that…especially given his line about being demons down there on that planet. Clinging so hard to doing this right. To making it justice, and not chaotic vengeful bloodshed like it was before.
“It’s not about settling scores or personal grudges. It’s a jury.” “We’re just dealing with the worst of the worst. People who did more than put on an NCP uniform or make a deal with the Cylons.” Yeah, because…well, like I said before, the Vast Majority of people are going to mostly keep their heads down and try to survive. And that is going to involve, for a lot of them, a limited level of cooperation, and where you draw the line between that and collaboration is important. And, like, look at Cottle and his sense of medical ethics. (lol if Zarek did try to put him on the Circle’s list he was definitely acquitted, but I genuinely don’t think his name came up. Just. A thought that occurred XD)
“None of this is legal, right?” Kara asks. “No, it’s legal,” Chief says. And shows her the orders from Zarek. “…you’ve got to be kidding me.” And Tigh asks for her commitment. And she’s in.
They give her a minute to go over the evidence. And Chief once again points out that they don’t know what Gaeta might have done when he saw that list.
…I bet Chief is wondering if Gaeta was his source. I’m sure a part of him is hoping he was. He likes Gaeta, Gaeta is a likeable dude. He liked Jammer, too, but Jammer’s guilt was a lot more unambiguous and also he wasn’t in a position to be the inside source. [for crossover purposes where I headcanon Chief as Force-sensitive…possible evidence? Lol.]
“My gods, the whole things like a bad dream, only we woke up and the traitors are all still here.” And Kara votes guilty immediately. Seelix says it has to be unanimous, and turns to Chief, who’s the last to vote. And Sam interrupts to talk to Kara. Tigh agrees because she’s already voted. …there’s a Thing here, about Tigh and his sense of duty and loyalty, but I can’t quite find the words for it. Maybe when I get to Crossroads.
“I quit because I’m not looking for ways to keep killing people.” “I need this, Sam.” “What, throwing a few people out an airlock is going to make you feel better about yourself? Because believe me, those aren’t the people who kept you locked in that room.” “They’ll do! And not just for me, but for every person we left back on that planet. Someone’s gotta pay. So you can either get with it, or you can get lost.” “Is that what you want, Kara? You want me to leave?”
“A lot of good people had to pay the price for what they did. Choices they made on New Caprica. Like my wife. And I liked her a lot more than I like Gaeta.” I do love that line.
“Look, Sam…I’m in a different place now. I…I don’t know how else to explain it to you. But I got out of that cell, and it’s like someone painted the world in different colors. And I look at you…and I wanna tear your eyes out just for looking at me. I just wanna hurt someone, and it might as well be you. So you should probably go before that happens.” :((((((((((((( I want to hug both of them so much.
“Baltar, not Gaeta.” “It’s the same damn thing.” “He’s right, Chief. A lot of people died because of them.” And Chief caves, and votes guilty.
Oh no oh no he’s giving her back the dog tags I’m gonna cry :((((((((
“Sam—” and then she pulls him back and kisses him and. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. And then she walks away. And that shot of him alone on the deck in semi-darkness I just. Babies. I love them.
And Gaeta is offered a chance to defend himself…after conviction. And he looks to Chief, who begs him to talk. “We’ll listen.” And then Connor cuts in. And Jean is like “say something.” And Felix says, “what’s the point? I already tried to explain. I’m not gonna beg.” And I can’t really blame him. “Too bad you didn’t grow that spine four months ago,” Tigh says. And Felix remains quiet. But Kara, in her blind unfocused rage and pain, saves him. Unintentionally.
“Beg. Beg.” “Thrace—” “No. Beg. Come on, Felix. Tell ‘em how you were working for the resistance the entire time. COME ON! Tell them about all the important information you gave them. Tell them about the messages, and the dog bowl, and everything else.” And that catches Chief’s attention! “What? What did she just say? What did you say to her? Tell me. What did you say to her?” “There was a yellow dog bowl. It was a signal. It meant there was a message in the garbage dump. I turned it over. It was a signal. It meant there was a message in the garbage dump.” “…that was you. Oh, my g—” And he cuts him free. “There was a yellow dog bowl. I used it. You were wondering who the source was, Colonel. There’s no other way he could’ve known. He’s the only other one who would’ve known.”
And Gaeta just quietly says. “I did what I could.” And slowly gets to his feet. “I don’t know what else I could’ve done.” And he walks through them and away. And the Look Chief and Tigh share.
And Bill and Laura are calling Zarek on this crap. …and Tory is there, too! Because all of the Five have to be involved in this (except Ellen). I doubt she says anything but the fact that she’s There.
“They have a jury. But they don’t get lawyers. They don’t get to showboat for weeks on end while they find ways to blame the system. And they don’t get lasting fame as martyrs or innocent people just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They just disappear. Now. In the grey twilight between the long night of the occupation and the dawn of a new era. You come into office clean, without their blood on your hands.” “Well, thank you. That’s very poetic.” A) I love the look on her face that’s like “someone’s speaking from Direct Personal Experience don’t think I’ve forgotten how you became a household name Tom” and B) just the way she cuts him off I love everything about this. And the boundaries she works to set, just like when she and Tigh were arguing about suicide bombers on New Caprica.
“You think by making the trials public, you’ll find justice?” “Yes, I do.” “Come on, Laura, you’re not that naïve. Let me tell you what’ll happen, if these cases go to trial. It’ll consume this fleet for months, maybe years. People will be lining up to testify against their neighbors. It’ll be a circus, an entertainment for the mob, and you’ll be signing death warrants every day. Is that how you want to spend your term, Laura? As executioner-in-chief?” he’s not Entirely wrong here and she knows it and she hates all of it. Which is why she does what she does next; if he hadn’t had the Circle in play, maybe she would’ve done something different re: the amnesty (like she says she was planning to do), but…again. He’s Not Entirely Wrong. But definitely after Zarek did what he did, she’s backed into a corner there.
Also oh man her speech playing over Kara hanging up the dog tags Sam gave her back and Saul finding Ellen’s clothes and hanging them up and…
“We all feel the need for justice, and we all feel the need for vengeance, and telling the difference between the two can be difficult at times.” And the way it panned over Zarek and Bill there was. Amazing.
And cutting to Baltar and Caprica on the basestar when she says “we are all victims of the Cylons, and none of us can be impartial.”
Caprica leaving Gaius clothes; she did vote to let him stay in the end.
“There will be no prosecutions. I am issuing a general pardon for every human being in this fleet. This will not be a popular move today, but I truly believe this is the only way for us to move forward in strength. In the spirit of healing and reconciliation.” And that it goes to Tory when she says that.
And lol once again Bill leads the applause for Laura I love it.
Gaeta still eating alone. Until Chief goes over to him.
I do appreciate that Gaeta didn’t have to cut his hair again when he resumed his military position. I like Floofy!Gaeta XD
Torn:
This weird-ass fucking arc here we go!
Baltar gets the previously-on.
Hurray for beachside fantasies! ((…I mean, I know some of it is because of the lakehouse, but it is interesting how many of his fantasies involve water. Mostly in context of the Selkie AU which I probably will write more of someday XD) And Head!Six is back. “I thought you’d abandoned me to your Cylon comrades.” “Would I do that?” “You’ve always been more…unpredictable than your flesh and blood counterparts.” “A man who loves women as much as you do should’ve learned that a long time ago.” “I’m a slow learner.” “Then take this period to learn all you can about the Cylons. You’ll need it in the days ahead.” And now she tells him about projection! “What are you, really? You’re either connected to the woman I knew on Caprica, or you’re a damaged part of my subconscious struggling for self-expression. So which is it?” “I’m an angel of God sent here to help you. Just as I always have been.”
And he’s no less afraid (of her) when he wakes up, for all he pretends not to be in the dream.
((and now I’m distracted by wondering where the clothes he was given came from. Were they. Like. Just what he was wearing when they left New Caprica, only cleaned? Did they get taken from one of the Fives? I mean, they’re a little too…sedate in color for that But XD))
Yeaaaaah time would Absolutely not feel real in that room, especially when he’s alone most of the time.
“We’re all part of one big ecosystem.” “…yes, I can feel it breathing…” that’s Fascinating and I love it.
And then Caprica comes in and D’Anna pulls away a little. And they start asking him questions about Earth. “Do you know how to find it?” “Not really, no. That’s unfortunate. There was a hope—my hope—that if you knew about Earth, it would justify keeping you alive a little longer.” “Wait. Wait! When I say I do not know exactly where Earth is, that is not to say I don’t know a great deal about it’s possible location. I spent hours—days—weeks—months!” Lol. I mean, he’s actually probably telling the truth here; along with the other projects he was working on for the science part of his job. But just. Watching him flail after D’anna pulls that “what a shame” thing.
And Caprica is still being a little distant. “We’ll get back to you.”
And he asks the real question! “Why do you care about finding Earth?” and the look on his face when D’anna tells him “we’ve decided it’s going to be our new home.”
41,422!
Back to training exercises; Lee and Starbuck are back in their cockpits, Helo is still acting XO.
Aaaaaand collision when Starbuck ignored orders and went out of formation.
“How’d you land this thing?” “Pointed it towards the deck and stopped when I got here.” Lol.
Lee benches Starbuck which. Yeah honestly kinda fair at the moment.
And Tigh is hallucinating Ellen’s voice! And he goes into the hall looking for her and…
…
Yeah.
https://textsfrombsg.tumblr.com/post/6491550426/submitted-by-derevko
Awwww, Kacey!
“Gimme a hug!”
I wonder when it changed from Camp Oil Slick to Dogsville.
“The last thing I need is a two-year-old friend. And Kacey does not need me in her life. So do us both a favor and don’t bring her around here again.” Can’t really blame Julia for being Annoyed, but also…yeaaaaaaaah.
FUCK THIS SUBPLOT WITH A RUSTY SPOON.
And yep, he wasn’t lying, Gaeta’s building on the same research. “If there was one thing I learned about Baltar, it was his extraordinary capacity for self-preservation. I think he wanted to find Earth because he wanted to get there.” That is. Certainly at least partially true. And also probably part of it was that it was an interesting and challenging Science Problem for him to solve.
“Initially, I thought the doctor might be off his meds as well.” That shouldn’t be as funny as it is XD
I do love that little flash of her soft smile as they’re walking down the hallway and he’s bitching about his conflicted feelings.
Random naked Eight doing her naked Tai Chi because Eights are just very comfortable with their bodies XD and he’s distracted for a moment because…well, yeah, and then he’s like “…sorry, didn’t mean to intrude.” And LOL him putting his hand up to cover his eyes as Caprica drags him away.
And he gets her to actually explain projecting. “Have you ever daydreamed and imagined you were somewhere else?” “…I have an active imagination.” LOL “We choose to see our environment in any way we wish. You see us as standing in a hallway, but I see it as a forest. Filled with trees, birds, sunlight…” “Like the walks you and I used to take. On Caprica.” “…the aesthetic is what gives me pleasure. Not the specific memories.”
I wonder if they can do this outside of basestars, or if they need the network/datastream to do it?
“Instead of looking at blank walls, I choose to surround myself with a vision of God’s creation.”
And now he’s back on the beach with Head!Six. …and starts to wonder if it’s the same. “Is it a coincidence?” she asks. “What are you saying? Is there a connection? Because of my experiences with you—am I a Cylon?!”
And back to Caprica. “What was that?” “…nothing. Just thinking out loud. Silly me.”
((Like, I know that the writers specifically had a rule that anyone other than Roslin or Adama was fair game for a Cylon reveal, but I genuinely think that it could never have been Baltar. It would have broken too many mythology and thematic rules. He and Helo are the ones who never could be Cylons because of the way the narrative is structured around them; Bill and Laura could never be revealed as Cylons because of the emotional rules/core of the story.))
And Racetrack is willing to fly second chair for Athena, and calls her Boomer, and she’s like “…that was someone else.” And then Helo gets everyone to pitch new callsigns and most of them are terrible jokes (as callsigns often are) but then someone suggests Athena and. Yep! …and by someone I mean Hotdog XD “usually accompanied by the goddess of victory” and the little SMILE the Agathons share and their hands and that little kiss and I love them.
Aaaaand in comes Tigh who’s still in a Mood.
Dead Man’s Chest is apparently another card game besides Triad!
Aaaaaaaand now Kat is needling at the gap/wound between the people who were on the planet and the people who were in the fleet and.
Helo does briefly step in to defend the crew, but knows when to back down, even when Tigh takes a…not even really a shot at Athena, more at the whole Situation. “While you were pinning wings on your Cylon girlfriend, our people were strapping bombs to their chests to take the bastards out. So forgive me if I don’t get all misty about your sacrifices.”
Kara and Saul have never gotten along quite as well, it’s a problem.
“You seem distracted, Gaius.” “…do I?” “You can rest easy. Your navigational data and your rescue of the child have gone a long way to convincing the others, for now.” And then he’s doing the math, and she starts softening a little, “I used to think that you and I might have a baby one day…”
(still clinging to my headcanon that the glowyspine is related to conception, even though I know there’s an Official explanation)
“There are twelve Cylon models, but in the entire occupation, I only ever saw seven. Here, only the same seven. Who are the final five?” “I can’t talk about them.” “Can’t, or won’t?” “I can’t. it’s complicated, but we don’t talk about them.”
Aaaaand now we get to the Actual plot of this episode! “Six, we have a problem.”
Basestar hybrid yay!!!!
The datastream here is fairly literal and it’s kind of beautiful.
And that Four does seem to think the disease would download with the victims which…I don’t think that makes a whole lot of sense but what do I know. …but it is probably better to assume it might and take precautions just in case.
And Head!Six orders him to volunteer. “You have to prove to them you can be counted on in an emergency. Show them you’re worth keeping alive.” “And if you are a Cylon, one of the five you haven’t seen yet, wouldn’t you rather just die and get it over with?”
And he does volunteer, and Caprica’s face when she says “what?”
“A truly selfless act…” Well. Not really. But.
“Here’s to knowing that someone will always have your back.” “The sentiment’s good, but in my book, trust is an overrated commodity.” And everyone’s drunk and everyone’s still hurting and Kat and Kara are always good at Escalating a situation.
“Every colonist that landed on New Caprica was loyal…to a point. It was amazing watching those people that you thought you knew go over to the Cylons.” Yesssssssss.
And Helo’s like “I…really don’t want to talk about the problems Tigh and Kara are causing, in part because Kara is one of my best friends, and in part because after my own experiences in occupied territory and coming back to the fleet, I do get it. But the Admiral is asking me directly, so…I can’t not.” “Suddenly, it’s like if you weren’t in the ground war, you can’t be trusted.” “They’re destroying morale and unit cohesion.” “They both know better.” “I don’t think they care, sir.” Right now, no.
“Atrophy. Don’t ask me how. I’ll be dead in a thousand light years.” I really genuinely love the basestar hybrids, they’re Amazing.
Also the way all these…disconnected/sort of floating/almost…dissociated isn’t the word I want but. Just. The Vibe of these sequences on the basestar during these first couple episodes is Really Cool.
Also Baltar in a flight suit is the weirdest fucking visual XD
Lol, of course the Twos are the ones who pay attention to the Hybrids’ babbling.
“She is the baseship in a very real sense.” “Mind gone mad.” “She experiences life very differently than we do, Gaius. She swims in the heavens, laughs at stars, breathes in cosmic dust…maybe Leoben is right. Maybe she does see God.”
And that ‘to know the face of god is to know madness’ (with the ‘to love another person is to see the face of god’ corollary) pops back into my head…
Oh man the creepy floaty dead raiders.
He’s trying to be detached and analytical but. His face. At least until he sees the beacon they brought on board.
“I would never do anything to hurt you.” Oh, man, this scene with this Six. Just. Oh shit. And she asked him to kill her, and he doesn’t want to, and then she accuses him of doing this on purpose and does she believe that or is she trying to get him to do what she asked in the first place and then he does and. Man.
Oh shit. “I see nothing. Nothing of consequence. There’s nothing left to do here.”
“Whatever you think I did, I didn’t do it, honestly!” “We followed your coordinates and found a disease with no treatment or cure.”
And they’re arguing and then D’anna just slams her hand into the datastream. And they have to abandon that basestar. And the Hybrid is screaming.
“Mists of dreams drip along the nascent echo, and love no more. End of line.”
“The Hybrid objects.” “She doesn’t get a vote. Jump the ship.”
“You noticed nothing suspicious on the infected ship?” And Caprica finds the proof he’s lying when he says ‘nothing,’ as she goes through the pictures he took.
And Bill goes to talk to Kara and Saul.
“Give me your sidearm.” “…what?” “Your sidearm.” And she has no idea what’s going on, but she does pull out the gun for him. He cocks it and tosses it back on the table.
“There’s a live round in that!” Tigh says. “One of you, I don’t care who, pick that up and shoot me,” Bill says. “Admiral, I don’t—” “I didn’t say to talk. You’ve done enough of that already. I said to pick up that weapon and shoot.” “You gonna turn the rest of my pilots against each other? Poison the crew? You’ve already done that. Both of you.” “Yeah, well, if you’re looking for an apology—” and he shoves her chair over. “You were like a daughter to me once. No more. You’re malcontented and a cancer. And I won’t have you on my ship. So you have a choice. You figure out how to become a human being again and an officer, or you can find another place to live, off of this ship. You’re dismissed.” That first bit was a lie, she is still his daughter. But. “You gonna kick me out of my chair, too? Don’t patronize me. Say what you came here to say.” “If you need time, Saul, you take all the time you want. But I gotta run a ship. The last thing I need is a one-eyed drunk sitting down here sowing discontent and disobedience. So I’ll tell you again Saul. You can pick up that gun and kill me, or you can go back to your quarters until you’re ready to act like the man I’ve known for the past thirty years.” And Saul empties the gun. “That man doesn’t exist anymore, Bill. And you won’t be seeing me again.”
Man. Just. The way he gets from there to how he reacts to the Reveal at the end of the season I just. I love Saul. Every time I watch this show, I love him more and more.
And Kara is cutting off her hair and everyone’s just kind of baaaaaacking away from her and her knife. But she is resetting, as best she can.
And Saul is just. Back in his quarters. Drinking.
And she goes to see Kacey yay!!!!
Who really is a very adorable two-year-old. And probably swears as much as Kara now XD
Oh Kara’s face when she holds her my heart :(((((((((
And Saul staring at the picture and holding Ellen’s jacket and……..man.
And Racetrack is so excited to see the nebula! And Athena’s like “something is Off” and then they see the drifting raiders and the basestar and… “When God’s anger awakens, even the mighty shall fall.” “Frak, Athena, we need to get out of here!!!”
A Measure of Salvation:
Previously on is…Lee, maybe? Maybe Helo? Does Helo ever get a previously-on?
Oh man the way they keep cutting to Athena as they board the basestar and. Anxiety.
Also everyone else has a helmet even lee why doesn’t she get one.
(also lol because Dean Stockwell is Sir Not Appearing In This Two Parter there are no dead Ones XD At least the Fours get stuff to do this episode…)
Oh, man, Athena’s face when she kneels next to her dead brother.
And now she’s putting her hand in the data stream and I know she’s immune but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh god the datastream is all sludgy. “You sure you want to do that?” “It’s how it works.”
And Lee’s brevet promotion to Commander has been revoked, he’s back to Major.
Five living Cylons! A Two, a Four, a Six, an Eight, a Five.
And they’re praying.
Athena cradles her sister Eight’s head. Eight calls her a traitor, then tells her to save herself. “Get away from us.” And the Six tells her the same thing that other Six told Gaius.
“Infected?” “…son of a bitch!” Lol Matthias’s tone XD
“Uh, Galactica, Apollo. We have a situation down here.” You sure do!
((lol imagine if their recon ran into Gaius and the other basestar that would’ve gone real weird real fast I’m sure someone’s written that fic but))
41,420! …wait, who died in the last episode I’m confused.
Yay Cottle! And yeah, this is Absolutely the kind of shit the military would have an Established Procedure for, he just has to brief command on the specifics since it’s his department.
And yeah, while Cottle wanting the beacon to study makes sense, Bill deciding it’s too risky also makes perfect sense, so he doesn’t fight it and just moves on to the question of the five survivors/prisoners.
“How many prisoners?” “How many you got?”
And the basestar goes Boom!
“Massive energy discharge from the basestar! …it exploded, sir.”
Back to the other basestar for a little light torture!
“How long have you planned to betray us?” Yeah, because that was a STUPID lie you told. Like. I get that you were panicking because of that Six and what she said but like. Lying about the beacon when you already have a picture of it is going to cause you way more problems than it solves!
And Caprica’s crushed face, and D’anna’s disappointment.
“You’re only making this harder on yourself.” “We know about the beacon, Gaius. You knew it was out there. You knew it contained a deadly virus.” “This is a most profound understanding. Yes, I did discover it on the baseship, and I should’ve told you sooner, but I thought you’d link me to the virus, I was wrong, it was a mistake, it will never happen again, and…”
And Caprica is on the edge of tears because after everything she does still love him. “I’m sorry, Gaius.” As the Centurions come in.
And D’anna’s little sad smile. “Things would have been so much simpler had you only told the truth.” And she adds, very matter-of-factly, “We think you know more about this virus, and we intend to find out.”
“Relax. Have a drink.” Head!Six says. “I can’t. The pain.” “It’s all in your head, Gaius. Pain, pleasure, they’re all just neural impulses sent to the brain. You decide how to interpret them. They can be pleasant…or unpleasant.”
[gotta love when I’m watching this particular torture scene and the dog interrupts saying ‘throw the ball plz’ XD]
[I did in fact pause to throw the ball what kind of monster do you think I am]
And Caprica’s face as she listens to him scream, and turns and walks away. And the look D’Anna gives her is soft, and sympathetic. Almost empathetic.
“I want it to stop, Gaius. I don’t want you to feel this pain. And neither does Caprica, do you?” “No.” “I love you,” he says, looking at Caprica, and her face oh man.
“You feel anything yet?” “Yeah, I feel sick. Sick of you bugging me.” “You didn’t touch any infected skinjobs.” “Not my fault you’re clumsy.” “You can kiss my infected ass.” Lol I love Hotdog. And Racetrack. I’m getting better at recognizing her out of her helmet!
“Well, you can kiss it, but it’s not infected.” LOL COTTLE I LOVE YOU.
And humans are immune but Athena still might not be so she has to stay in quarantine. And oh no Helo waiting outside and his face. “Please tell me she’s okay.” And Helo very briefly accuses Cottle of prejudice, but is more focused on reassuring Sharon as best he can and then “you come for me the second you know” and I love those two so fucking much.
Cottle goes to check on the prisoners, and has them take the Five. “He’s the furthest gone.” And he can’t cure them, but he can keep them alive.
And some medical technobabble about a vaccine but Cylons have an antibody that will break it down so it won’t function as a cure, and they’ll need several injections in close intervals. It’ll treat it but not cure it.
Lee asks “should we bother keeping them alive.” Which. …I mean, yeah, it does need to be asked. Helo suggests keeping them alive to question for intelligence. And Bill agrees, with Roslin pointing out that dangling the vaccine as a bribe to get them to talk might work. “They don’t need to know it’s a stop-gap.” So far, so good, but I do know how this meeting ends soooooooo yeah.
Hey, we’re using Helo’s name! “Karl’s wife called it ‘the prayer to the cloud of the unknowing’.” I think that’s. like. One of three or four times in the Entire Series someone calls him Karl, lol. “She said they only use it when they’re facing an imminent death that’s final, no chance of resurrection. They were ready to die.” And Laura points out, just because they’re ready to die doesn’t mean they don’t want to live/none of them would take the chance if it was offered.
And the Four takes it!
God I love his voice.
“It infected everything. Baseship. Raiders. Centurions. Until we were finally abandoned by the other Cylon ships.” “Why not just put you under quarantine until they found a cure?” “Fear of spreading the disease. They told us there was a bioelectric feedback component to the pathogen, it corrupts how our brains manage our immune systems. If one of us dies and is resurrected, the disease will follow, infecting the resurrection ship and the fleet.” I still say this makes very little sense, but again if there’s Even A Chance I can understand not wanting to take the risk. “Why were you in this area?” “We were sent here to look for the lion nebula. Baltar…said it would point the way to Earth.” And reveals that Baltar is alive and on the baseship, helping them find Earth! Huh, I thought they didn’t know until the algae planet, guess I misremembered.
“We want a new beginning. Much like you. I gave you information. She said that there was a cure.” “Doc Cottle will be giving you the medicine.”
The Fours really do need more love [which is why there’s one in TOB]
…I still feel like it’s weird that Lee is the one who immediately jumps to genocide via biowarfare. I mean, not that he’s willing to do it, but that it was his idea. …granted, I’m not sure whose idea it should have been, out of the people in the room. But…ah well, this is a Weird Ass Arc anyway.
“You sure the virus will download into a new body?” “The Cylons are sure of it.” Again, even if they’re not sure, making the choice to sacrifice the infected basestar Just In Case is a horrible but…you can see the logic of the decision. Even if the Hybrid objected. So, if we’re going this route, following that same logic only in reverse “we can’t be sure but it’s worth trying.” “The fact that they left their wounded out there to die alone with no hope of rescue tells me all I need to know.”
And Helo is the one who calls it what it is. Using the word genocide.
“They’re not human. They were built, not born. No fathers, no mothers, no sons, no daughters.” “I had a daughter. I held her in my arms.” “She was half-human. These are things. Dangerous things.” “You can rationalize it any way you want. We do this, we’re no different than they are.” And Laura says, “I respectfully disagree. They started this war, and not being content with wiping out billions of human beings, they pursued us relentlessly through the galaxy, determined to wipe us out.” And then Helo brings up what they were trying on New Caprica which. Was a Mistake. Because he’s not wrong but that is Not the argument to use.
((also this whole situation is…weird, the writing is weird, Choices Were Made.))
“You would serve your fleet better if you would remember that the Cylons are a deadly enemy of the human race.” “I’m talking about right and wrong. I’m talking about losing a piece of our souls. No one wants to hear that, right? Let’s keep it on me. Yeah, I’m married to a Cylon. Who walked through hell for all of us how many times? And she’s not half anything. How do we know there aren’t others like her? She made a choice. She’s a person.” This is absolutely true; but there’s a point (and we’re past that point) that you can’t wait and hope for that. “They’re a race of people. Wiping them out with a biological weapon is a crime against—it’s a crime against humanity.” “But they’re not human, they’re programmed,” Lee says. “We will take your input under advisement,” Laura says. “Thank you both.”
And once again, we have a lot of that same rhetoric used—for the suicide bombers, for how the Circle was supposed to operate…that recurring theme of ‘we have to be worthy of survival’/’there are some boundaries we have to maintain/some lines we Cannot Cross or we will lose ourselves.’ And the Pegasus arc, too. And just. …again, this arc is weird for a lot of reasons but it does hit hard on that point once again and does so fairly well.
Back to the torture porn! …well I think I’m funny. …although actually the torture isn’t super graphic. Although the minimal BGM, just the machine whining and Baltar’s shaky breathing and occasionally screaming is. Effective.
“I can guide you through the torment and beyond, but you have to do the work.” “I’ll do anything,” he tells Head!Six. and D’anna hears him. “Tell us what we want to know,” she says, softly. “Look at me,” Head!Six says. “When you make love to me, you don’t always think about me.” LOL. “Your mind wanders, I know that. You think of equations, puzzles, your laundry…” okay I love that ‘equations’ is on that list just. What a Delightful character note. “It’s the nature of the mind to disconnect from the body, enjoining on its own. Separate your mind from your body. Keep your mind in that room. Use your intellect against her. Reason. Logic. Analysis. Find the holes in her psyche.” “I can’t—the pain—” “The pain’s only in your body. So keep your body here with me. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”
“This is what the absence of pain feels like,” D’anna says. And that little almost wink. “It’s easy to forget.” This is so fucked up I love it.
“It was a coincidence.” “There’s no such thing as coincidence. God wills the universe according to his design.” “Focus on her. As a Cylon, not a woman. Be a scientist. Examine her faith.” As she starts undoing her dress.
“I’m a scientist. And as a scientist, I believe if God exists, our knowledge of him is imperfect. Why? Because the stories and myths we have are the products of men. The passage of time. Religion in practice is based on a theory. Impossible to prove, yet you bestow it with absolutes like “there is no such thing as coincidence.”” “It’s called faith.” “Absolute belief in God’s will means there’s a reason for everything. Everything. And yet…you can’t help asking yourself how God can allow death and destruction and then despise yourself for asking, but the truth is, if we knew God’s will, we’d all be gods, wouldn’t we?” I love that last line so much. “I can see it in your eyes, D’Anna. You’re frustrated. You’re conflicted. Let me help you. Let me help you change. Find a way to reconcile your faith with fact. Find a way toward a rational universe.” As she’s selecting her next torture instrument.
“Give your body to me. Only your mind is there. Feel me. Feel this where she wants you to feel pain. Look at me. Look at me, Gaius. Do you want me to believe you’re worth saving? Do you? Say it.” “I want you to believe in me! Don’t stop! Don’t stop! Please! Please, don’t stop! You have to believe in me! You’re all I have left!” and D’Anna’s face, because as far as she knows, he’s talking to her. “Now tell me you believe in me. Tell me you believe in my strength!” “I believe in you! I believe in you.” And he whispers, crying, “I love you with all my heart.” And that’s. that’s a lot of blood from his ear. Wow.
And D’anna just sort of…petting him as he passes out.
YAY ATHENA IS OKAY! “Something about fetal blood cells, whatever, I’m immune” aww that tacklehug the way she jumps up to him I LOVE THEM THEY’RE SO CUTE ONLY GOOD THINGS FOR THE FIGHTING AGATHONS. “Our baby saved my life. She’s gone forever, and she saved my life. Hera kept us together.” And she’s unfastening his belt for Victory Sex and he can’t help thinking about the genocide that’s being discussed, and he tells her what the plan is. And she starts crying. “The infection’s gonna spread everywhere.” And he’s crying a little, too. That shaky breath before it cuts to Bill and Laura.
(Also I love her curled up in her chair super cute.)
“There’s a point I’d like to make,” Bill says. “The law forbids me to use biological weapons without a direct Presidential order.” “Which means you’re passing the buck.” “On this one, yes. Helo’s right on one thing. We start destroying entire races, even mechanical races, we’re liable to tear off a piece of man’s soul.” “The Cylons are coming to Earth. If they find us, they’re coming for us. Those are the stakes. They always have been, Bill.”
And Athena is. Not going to fight it. “You think I don’t know that? I made a choice to wear a uniform. To be a person.” “You were a person before you put on that uniform, okay? You were a person before I fell in love with you. You don’t have to prove that.” “I have to prove it every day. Let me tell you something, Helo. My people may die. My entire race may be wiped out. But this Cylon will keep her word, even if that means she’s the last Cylon left in the universe. Can a human being do that?”
“Posterity doesn’t really look too kindly on genocide.” “You’re making an assumption that posterity will define this as genocide. If they do, at least there’ll be someone alive to hate us for it.” …yeah. Yeah, that is a point she’s making. I don’t know that it outweighs the rest, but…it is a point. “The Cylons are our mistake. We created them.” And she gives the order. “The use of biological weapons is authorized.” “So say we all.” “So say we all.”
Athena is even flying in the mission oh man.
Starbuck’s back in her cockpit, yay!
And Helo is Doing A Thing because Helo is a Good Man and he will not cross this line, even if it means he has to cross another.
Gotta love when murdering five people is the lesser of two evils.
And there’s Something about Gaeta relaying the ‘terminate the prisoners’ order after All of the Everything.
And Lee is leading the execution party. Along with Matthias. Only to find the prisoners are all already dead in their cell.
“They were dead before the resurrection ship was in range. They didn’t download the disease. We missed our window.”
“Seems like they’re always coming for one of us.” Aww, Helo. “I’m not a traitor. I love my people. I love this ship. Besides you, the first thing I wanna see on any morning are the lights in that CIC. I did what I thought was right. If it was a mistake, fine, I can live with that. It’s you I can’t live without.” And she holds him. And I love them both so much. “I’ll always love you, Helo.”
“Someone did this manually,” Bill says. “Someone?” Laura asks. “Seems to me there’s only one or two likely suspects. Who will lead the investigation?” “No one. I’m closing the book on this one.” “How convenient.” And it was an accidental contamination based on Cottle’s findings. “According to Cottle, the virus was an exact match to one reported over 3000 years ago, right around the time the 13th colony left Kobol.” “The beacon was a signpost to Earth.” “We’re on the right trail.” “So are the Cylons.”
Well that was certainly a two-parter! But I love Helo and Athena so goddamn much, that’s what I’m choosing to care about right now, lol.
Hero:
Another weird one, hurray. Uh, to be completely honest, I have very little memory of this episode? I mean, I remember the broad/overall plot but no real Specifics. …probably because none of this is ever mentioned again.
Bill gets the previously-on!
Hi Corinne!
I think these flashbacks are recent enough that we won’t have to see that crappy wig from the ones in the beginning of S2, at least.
LOL THE PAINTING I FORGOT ABOUT IT.
Laura’s hair is really cute here.
Awwww, Billy gets mentioned!! I love Billy and I miss him a lot.
45 years in the military which just. Highlights the way the Caprica retcon makes absolutely no sense.
((as ‘one last time’ from Hamilton starts playing in my head… “after 45 years of my life/dedicated to its service with an upright zeal…”))
I forget what CBDR stands for, I know it came up at one point. I do not care enough to Google it but.
Lol did Bulldog also bring his own brain to the party.
Helo’s ‘huh?’ face is great.
Starbuck got her haircut evened out, I see.
Starbuck’s ‘wtf’ face is even greater.
41,421! Bulldog Immediately gets added to the count, I love it.
…they are actually still using the Cylon detector XD I guess at some point it got tweaked and put back into use? Or a different one got built, IDK. But yeah, that’s definitely a useful thing to know.
Lol, Cottle. “The conspiracy theorists are going to be disappointed.”
Okay, so Bulldog went missing three years ago, which means… if we add up the ~10 months of S1 + S2, plus the two timeskips, plus however long between the exodus and now, it’s been somewhere between two and two and a half years since the miniseries. So the Valkyrie mission has to have been between six months and a year, give or take, before the attack. Maybe a bit longer, to allow for rounding. And since Cylon infiltrator agents like Caprica and Boomer had already been in position for at least a year at that point…yeah, no, this stealth mission did not kick off anything, even before the Final Five reveal stuff Conclusively proves otherwise.
…now I want noodles.
((…I keep calling them ‘basestars,’ but I keep hearing ‘baseships.’ Did I…did I totally make up ‘basestar’ lol.))
“After a while I felt the institution no longer had anything to offer me, so I left.” Lol.
“Thought maybe the Cylons had beaten the bullshit attitude out of you.” LOL.
Ooooooh was he on the infected basestar??? Or did a second one get infected and also cut off? But then where did the pursuing raiders come from…?
Hi, Random Three! (oh man especially since this comes off the episode of a different D’Anna torturing Baltar…I wonder if they do most of it? I had assumed it was the Fours because doctors, but…)
Okay, yeah, it was about a year prior to the attacks, I did do the math right!
And of course the Taurons were causing issues; which given that Adama is ethnically Tauron…
Roslin is…about 85% sure this cover story is just that, I think. Especially when Bill says ‘there was no distress call, no sign of ejection, so I just left.’
So she asks Tory and Bulldog to leave, Tory will see if she can track down any family, and LOL THE LOOK SHE GIVES BILL. “So, you gonna tell me what really happened?” And he just says “you’ll have to trust me. It’s my mess, I’ll fix it.”
And this dream sooooort of supports that the Primary Three is Final Cut!Three instead of Downloaded!Three? Both being on Galactica and also I thiiiiink that’s the same yellow shirt? Except they can access each other’s memories in the datastream…
And the door says ‘end of line.’
I really love the super casual threesome reveal XD (way back when I wrote something about how D’Anna brings Caprica in for it; I found it on an external hard drive a while ago; I can post it somewhere if anyone actually wants to see it)
Hurray for the creepy eye socket and Tigh in his Dark Place still. But he actually is together enough to have this actual conversation with Bill when he comes in to tell him about Novacek. “So are you here to talk to your friend or your XO?” …well, closer than he was last time we saw him, at least, but maybe not fully there yet XD. “Last time I checked I was neither. Oh, yeah, I get it. This is gonna be a little complicated for you, Admiral. You gonna tell him what you did?” “I did what I had to do.” “So tell him.” “It’s not gonna make a difference. It’s in the past.” “You’re equivocating.” “I don’t know why the frak I came here.” [if I ever do actually do a soulmate AU, even though I’m mainly interested in how it would impact Caprica and Athena coming from Cylon culture ((since it would not be an ‘everyone has a soulmate’ AU)) …anyway, there are a Couple reasons why I’d write it out that Bill has two—Laura (romantic) and Saul (platonic) but just. I love the scenes the two of them have together.]
…still doing the thing with Ellen’s clothes, I see.
Saul not quite sure what to do with the hug, lol.
“Drink?” “You have no idea.” “Yes, I do.” …ow.
Ooooh, and that scene paralleled with Bill and Lee talking.
“He still does his share of ass-covering.” LOL.
Aaaaaand, yep, Saul is going to spill the beans but in fairness when he brought it up he thought Bill had told him. “…he didn’t tell you, did he. That son of a bitch.”
“I shot him down.” “If you did, you had your reasons. You were following orders, preventing something worse, right?” “No. I shot him down to avoid detection. Protect the mission. So it wouldn’t be discovered by the Cylons. The sole purpose was to ascertain the likelihood of a Cylon strike.”
Oh man Lee’s face as he’s putting all this together.
“You’re saying that…that we knew they were out there? That they could launch an attack on the Colonies?” “We didn’t know anything for sure. there were theories in some circles that the reason the Cylons had stayed dormant for so long was because they were building a war machine, preparing a strike.” “But I thought…I thought that no one had seen or heard from the Cylons in over 40 years.” “That’s true. …partially. The Admiralty had grown restless with the Adar administration. They thought we were resting on our laurels, unprepared to protect from an attack. My mission was to escort a recon ship just over the armistice line, gather evidence.” “And if the Cylons discovered you across the line…then they would see that as…” “An act of war.” Again, even at this point, the timeline adds up—maybe Bulldog’s mission sped things up, but preparation for the attack was already underway and had been for at least a year; we’ve known that since the miniseries, since Caprica and Gaius had explicitly been together for two years at that point.
“Don’t do this,” Tigh says in the flashback. “Think about it. You don’t want to do this.” “Do you have any idea what it will mean if he’s discovered?” And Bill gives the order to launch a ship-to-ship missile.
“The sooner you admit [that you know it’s true], the sooner you’ll get that haunted look out of your eyes. Sometimes surviving can be its own death sentence. I know that.” Saul. Ow. :((((((
“All those years, I told myself I didn’t know what they were. But I was just lying to myself. Pretending that it couldn’t be true. …it is true. I started it. Initiated it.”
Again. We already know the math doesn’t add up, and I think…I think if he weren’t in the moment of confronting his guilt and all the feelings Bulldog brought up, he would probably realize it, because Boomer had been under his command for two years, which means the Cylons were already sending their agents in at least that long ago. (Although…timeline conflict here; I thought she had only ever been on Galactica?)
And Lee is trying to absolve his guilt. “They put you there. You had no choice. You were one mission, you were one man. One man.” “It only takes one,” Bill says, which is true.
Awwwww, Caprica checking in with D’Anna, being a good girlfriend. “I think God’s trying to tell you something.” “It’s about Gaius, isn’t it?” “No, it’s not. It’s about something much bigger than that.”
Right, this is the part where D’Anna keeps setting herself up to download for Revelation purposes. And ordering the Centurion to forget.
OOOOOH FLASHES OF THE TEMPLE. …and these memory bits come from Downloaded so IDEK anymore.
I really do wonder what the resurrection goop is.
“There’s something beautiful, miraculous, between life and death.” And the other Three and the Six are. Concerned.
Starbuck is watching the footage of the dogfight and has Questions. “Why the hell do they keep missing?” Because, yeah, they’re missing by a fair margin.
Bulldog doing pushups again, sometimes on fists, sometimes on flat hands.
Oooh, and Kara brings her concerns to Saul! “Novacek was hit and smoking, flying straight and level. Any nugget could have made that shot. They let him escape.” “…Cylons don’t do anything by accident.” “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too.”
…Bulldog, if you choke him with the pipe, he’s not gonna be able to answer your questions…
“When I saw they left that door wide open for me…” “Is that what they did? Did they leave the door open for you? Did they let you escape?” “That’s not what I meant! That’s not the truth! I beat them! I beat them at their own game! I frakking killed her, and I escaped! You trying to take that away from me?!”
Goddamn Tigh is frickin badass at hand-to-hand I love it. Even with one eye and coming off an unknown length of time spent drunk and grieving.
“The truth hurts. But it’s better to know the truth than live a lie. We’re all soldiers. We’re all expendable. We did what we had to do to protect the mission. It’s ugly, but there it is. The Cylons let you go. The question is why? Ask yourself that, Danny. Because up until a minute ago you were doing exactly what they wanted you to do. You almost gave them what they wanted. Tell you a dirty little secret, the toughest part of getting played is losing your dignity, feeling like you are not worth the oxygen you are sucking down. You get used to it. You start to believe it. You start to love it. It’s like a bottle that never runs dry. You can keep reaching for it over and over and over again.” “So how do you put that bottle away, Saul?” “I don’t know. One day, you just decide to…get up and walk out of your room.”
…there’s a Whole Heck Of A Lot to unpack there holy shit. About. About a lot of people, about a lot of storylines. About Boomer, about Gaius, about Ellen, about…damn. Tigh says the coolest things no wonder he grows on me more and more with each rewatch.
((also I do find it interesting that, despite being a lieutenant (i.e., same rank as Kara and Helo and most of the other main military people except Lee were at the start of the series), Bulldog is on first-name terms with Bill and Saul in a way that pretty much no one else is.))
“Your resignation? You have got to be kidding me.” “I said before, we can’t hide from the things we’ve done. I see no other way around this situation. Maybe it’s time, Laura.” “Sit down, Bill. I think you’re being naïve.” “Naïve?” “Did it ever occur to you that the Admiralty may have set you up to provoke a war they wanted? It’s naïve to think that horrible things that we can’t understand have simple explanations, because simple explanations make us feel like we have control when we don’t. We know why the Cylons attacked us. And it wasn’t any one thing, oh my gods. We did a thousand things, good and bad, every day for 40 years to pave the way for those attacks.” AND ALSO THEY WERE DEMONSTRABLY ALREADY UNDERWAY FOR A YEAR BEFORE THE VALKYRIE MISSION. Even though they don’t know much/anything about Caprica’s mission, they do know that Boomer was in place for at least two years, discounting if she actually went to an Academy or all of her records there were backstopped, we don’t know. “Something has to be done.” And she still wants to give him the medal. “This was before I heard about this resignation of yours. So, hmm. I’d like to propose this. You seem hell-bent on paying some kind of penance for whatever it is you think you’ve done. So instead of resigning, why don’t you get up and walk out of here, meet me on the port deck tomorrow evening, and let me pin a frakking medal to your chest?” “I can’t.” “It’s not for you. It’s for them. Stand up there, acknowledge your fleet, and give them what they need: a hero. And that’ll be your penance. Even if it kills you.” She is very much not wrong and I love her.
I wonder who those three random civilians on the dais are.
Aww, Cottle sees him off and there. …may actually be a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist in the fleet??? Given that Cottle is specifically sending him to a Dr. Stoffa and we’ve already confirmed that he’s physically okay. “It’ll take time,” he says. Which. Yep.
And Bill gives him back his uniform, and Bulldog tries to refuse, but. “Once a pilot, always a pilot.” “Yes, sir.” And they exchange another salute, this one much less Tense than at the beginning of the episode.
…I think they reordered these scenes, unless this is Supposed to be a flashback? Since Bill is in his blue uniform with Bulldog but in his dress greys for both the medal ceremony and the next scene in his quarters…I think reordered, since they don’t cut back to the medal ceremony which would’ve made more sense for a flashback.
Saul has an actual Eyepatch now, yay! The real sign his coming out of his dark place.
“I heard you won a medal.” “Yeah. They give ‘em out for anything these days. Good behavior, attendance, playing well with others…” And the LOOKS ON THEIR FACES. The way Saul won’t quite look at him, and the way Bill is looking at Saul, and…I love them. “I need you back in CIC. It’s just not the same without you there, intimidating the inmates.” “No, that’s not what I came here to talk to you about.” “Okay.”
…Saul has been keeping himself shaved while in his dark place.
“You want to tell me what happened to Ellen?” “…I could use a drink.” “Me, too.” I love these two and their relationship A Whole Lot.
Yeah, that was a Weird one, and there are some issues with continuity/etc., but I have to say I genuinely like it, for the Bill and Saul stuff. So, there it is. XD
Unfinished Business:
I have admittedly mixed feelings about this one XD Mostly because I have zero patience for the Quadrangle of Why subplot, and while it’s been around since at least mid-S2, this is where it really kicks in. But I really love the Bill and Laura flashbacks, and some of the other stuff is great.
And also I used As Long As You’re Mine for this episode on my S3 mix and I have never been prouder of a fanmix decision in my life XD
Lee gets the previously-on.
Still can’t take the moustache seriously, though.
First people in the ring are Lee and Helo!
Okay but that flashback location looks like it would have all the same problems as sex on the beach. Namely sand/dirt in places where you really don’t want it.
Lol Helo’s little ‘come at me’ gesture.
Dee is super pretty and deserved so much better.
And even if their relationship is in a weird place, Kara is still inviting Sam over for sex. “That was exactly what I needed.” “Glad to be of service.” And he’s going along with it, but.
((because this is the point where it’s Apropos: https://textsfrombsg.tumblr.com/post/7085786879/derevko-not-even-kidding-i-bet-this-is-what
…and also possibly this one: https://textsfrombsg.tumblr.com/post/18017419131/derevko-kara-can-be-pretty-blunt-in-her-texts ))
…Sam also deserved better.
Ah, he decides to hold her bra hostage so they can try to have a Feelings conversation. “I want our marriage back.” “And what if I’m not ready for that?” “I don’t know. Maybe you’ll never be. Maybe because I’m not what you really want after all.”
Yeah, Kara, don’t…don’t hide from your feelings with one man by running to another. ((which is why her having Angry Sex with Kat doesn’t hit the same buttons because that’s a very different relationship dynamic.))
AW YAY FIGHTING AGATHONS IS AN ACTUAL CANONICAL NICKNAME
“He’s a tough little frakker, I’ll give him that.” I love you so much Helo.
Oh, good, they straight-up establish that Cottle’s observing.
Ugh did we Have to bring back the fatphobic jokes again WHY I thought we were DONE with that bullshit.
And Cottle is the one who says ‘nope, Lee is done here.’ And Lee is Not Thrilled at him.
“I’m done, Kara.” “I’m not.” Aaaaaand Dee watching from afar and. Sigh.
“Now who’s biting off more than they can chew, Captain?” “Not me from where I’m standing, Major.” And yeah that was a very. Charged. kiss-or-kill distance moment.
41,422! I guess someone had a baby since last episode??
Okay, flashback to 17 months ago, which is 8 months before the occupation, so 4 months after the initial settlement, give or take. Which means…this episode takes place 5 months after the exodus, give or take a couple of weeks for the actual plot of those four episodes.
“Awww, that’s such a load of crap.” “There’s an open bar!”
I love that outfit on Laura.
“I do not gaze at—” sorry wrong fandom XD and a very different dynamic but the way he looks at her there XD
Aww, her dad was a fight fan!
“Did you throw your tags in there?” “I wish. All the frustrations that I have--” lol the way he cuts off there.
Is Gaeta managing the bookmaking XD
I love Kara’s Challenge smirk.
And yeaaaah of course Starbuck wiped the floor with Hotdog.
XDXD Gotta love a noodle incident. “So then they come back to the locker room with the same set of handcuffs and two straws!”
Awwww, Saul looks so happy in the flashbacks, and I love this little bit with him and Ellen.
“Did I ever tell you how happy I am I married you?” “Not once.” “Then I’ll save it for a special occasion.”
And Gaeta is so happy to talk Infrastructure but then he has to go talk to the finance minister and I love him, he’s so cute. “Oh, my gods, I didn’t think he’d ever leave” LOL LAURA. The one thing she doesn’t miss about the presidency is having to listen to stuff like that XD And then Bill says he’s a good kid and I love all of them so much.
Yes that was a Very Transparent invitation Laura was giving you, Bill XD
And Bill is starting to spot some Discipline Issues he needs to fix in the present.
And awwwww, him and Chief having a drink 18 months ago because Cally is pregnant. “First boy born on Galactica.” I love them a lot. Except Cally doesn’t want him born on the ship. “And neither do I. not if he can grow up breathing fresh air.” And Bill initially refuses to let him.
YES KAT KICK HER ASS I HAVE NO IDEA WHO SHE IS BUT I LOVE YOU AND ALSO I REMEMBER WHAT THE NEXT EPISODE IS I’M GONNA CRY.
And Bill is making a point of putting his tags in. “Chief! Get your fat, lazy ass up here.”
And Helo wrapping his hands. “Make ‘em tight.” “Yes, sir.”
…hey was that Zarek in the crowd? Probably not, Richard Hatch is too expensive/important for a two-second cameo but it kinda looked like him XD
And Bill gets off one heck of a punch as soon as the bell rings and everyone’s like OOOOOOOOOOH
“Get up, Chief. We’re just getting started.”
And Chief in the past is trying to put the best face on it. “There’s doctors, sickbay, medicine…” And Cally is trying to look on the bright side, too. And that little kiss, poor babies.
((yeah they totally had sex in that hammock))
“Maybe we should just enjoy this.” “I am.” MY HEART.
“This how you fight your enemies, Chief? How you fight for your life? No excuses. Show me you’re a soldier.” And the look on Chief’s face, omg.
“Is that what you want? Is that what you want, Admiral?”
Aaaaand Kara using this as an excuse to needle Lee.
“You literally drank Anders under the table.” Lol.
I do love all the random couples slowdancing in the background while Lee and Kara are having that conversation.
And Cottle wants Bill to tap out but he refuses and I LOVE LAURA HERE OKAY. “He’s swinging wild, so hit him with a left hook” I LOVE HER SO MUCH YOU GUYS
“You wanna win?” “I’m not gonna win.” Yeah, that’s not the point he’s making here.
And then the next morning Bill changes his mind and lets Chief and Cally muster out. “I’m gonna miss you, Chief. I wanna wish you good luck.” And this music in the background and the look on his face when he smiles and Cally’s FACE. And “I want you guys to have at least a dozen.” “We’ll see about that” and she kisses his cheek and MY HEART.
And the way the same music continues as they go back to the fight scene where Chief is pounding the crap out of Bill.
And then it goes very quiet because he has his Verbal point to make. “When you stand on this deck, you be ready to fight, or you dishonor the reason why we’re here. Now remember this: when you fight a man, he’s not your friend. Same goes when you lead men. I forgot that once. I let you get too close, all of you. I dropped my guard. I gave some of you breaks, let some of you go, before the fight was really over. I let this crew and this family disband. And we paid the price in lives. That can’t happen again.”
And the way Laura takes his arm to help him down awwwwww.
And Tigh says it’s over. “So, what, you’re just gonna call it?” Kara says, because she hasn’t fought Lee yet, which is what she really wants to do.
“It’s over, Kara.” “So, what? You have the guts to try and frak another man’s woman, but not to fight one? I wonder if Dee knew what she was getting. Think she would’ve settled for sloppy seconds?” And he hits her. “Truth stings, don’t it?” “You want a fight, Captain? You’ve got it.”
I really do love her Fight Me smile.
And she took off her tanktop for this one, she didn’t with Hotdog.
And Dee comes in and. The look on her face. Poor Dee. She deserved so much better than this bullshit. (like, yeah, she’s not…it is kind of hard to forget the way she handled ending things with Billy but that doesn’t make the way Lee and Kara screw with her and Sam at all okay.)
“I’m not getting married.” “Then what’s the point, Kara? You love him, right?” “Where are we going with this, Lee?” “That’s the question, isn’t it. Where are we going?” ugh, I’m already exhausted. “Is this how you want to spend [the rest of your life]? Is this who you wanna spend it with?”
And Sam shows up to the dance and finds Dee. “What’s going on?” “What does it look like?” “Looks like they’re trying to kill each other.” “That’s one perspective.”
Again, I feel like fucking in this dirt is a Poor Life Choice. …I mean, not just for all the Relationship Drama reasons, I mean because dirt/sand in Uncomfortable Places. I guess they did at least Try to layer their jackets/etc. on the ground to prevent that but Still.
“Well that makes things more complicated.” “Yeah.” “What are we gonna do?” “What are we gonna do? We accept it. Tomorrow, I tell Dee, you tell Sam.” “Just like that?” “Just like that.” And right after Dee transferred to Pegasus to be with him. “Yeah, we tell them how we feel. We shout it to the skies. What, you don’t think I will?”
This shouting to the sky bit is so dumb in all the best ways and would be Super Adorable if it weren’t for the entire Quadrangle of Why that comes from it.
Also how drunk are you two right now I assume Very.
Aww, Helo cheering Starbuck on.
…you know, Kat is another person who almost never gets called by her actual name? Always her callsign. I don’t know if anyone ever says Louanne out loud.
Aaaaand now it’s going in an MMA direction which is probably against the rules but Kara and Lee are beyond caring at this point, Cottle’s gone, Saul may be, too…
“You look like you had a good time.” LOL.
“It’s been a hell of a morning. You missed all the excitement.” “Problems upstairs?” “No, good things. Kara got married.” “…what?” “Yeah, about an hour ago. Found herself a priest, went down by the river, and got married. …you okay?”
Yeah, Kara, it’s…really not cool to run from your feelings with Sam by going to Lee and run from your feelings with Lee by going to Sam.
“She deserves it. We all deserve to be happy. I gave her permission to muster out, along with Chief and Cally, a few of the others. So it’ll be up to us to make sure there’s no mass exodus.”
…I think this is the same music (or very similar) as what was playing in the Opera House vision with Baltar and Head!Six on Kobol?
Anyway Lee is not listening and…yeah, his face as he goes to meet Sam and Kara.
And Sam is just Elated and missing the other Drama because he just got married!!!!!
“No, it was crazy, she comes down, she wakes me up, she pops the question, drags me down to the priest, and bang, like that, we’re married!” “So it was your idea.” “Yeah. It was my idea.” “…do you guys want a minute to, you know, talk?” And Lee just tells him congratulations and good luck before walking off with a “you’re gonna need it” parting shot. …and going to make out with Dee.
((at least this time, unlike at the end of S1 when he was being an UTTER ASS, he kind of has room/reason to be pissed at her.))
Oh, Sam and Dee in the crowd, watching as Lee and Kara’s fight winds down. They’re both wobbling, but they won’t quit.
And they wind up hugging, and Sam has to look away briefly, and Dee just keeps watching, with this blank but devastated expression. And I just. Those two deserved so much better.
…yeah, I guess my final thoughts on this episode are I really love everything about Bill’s half!
The Passage:
Aaaaaand now I’m gonna cry.
Either Starbuck or Kat for the previously-on, I think.
Ah, yes, the flashback to the JUST HAVE ANGRY SEX episode aka Scar.
…do we ever see any of the male models download? I think we see Ellen later, and I know we’ve seen Sixes and Eights and now Threes…
Aaaand the food processing is contaminated, but Sharon is looking for a route to the planet where they can harvest algae. 7-10 days on current rations if it doesn’t work and oh my god Helo trying to stay Calm and Professional but he’s so worried about whether or not Sharon will make it back through the radiation okay especially since she’s late back and my heaaaaaart.
“I gave it to Cottle.” “Right, after I gave him head.” Lol.
The pilots divvying up crumbs, man.
41,420 again! So…two people died since the last episode, I guess?
Also this vaguely unsettling and largely repetitive piano music for the Basestar stuff. And D’anna quietly moves Gaius’s hand, lol. But he wakes up, she tells him not to wake up Caprica, and that she has things to do. “I’ll never understand what you all do all day long. Where do you suppose she takes herself off to, then?” “You’re not the only one asking that.” “I’m not?” “She’s been doing things.” “…doing things?” But Caprica falls back asleep before answering him.
Awwww, Helo hovering. And Athena’s nose is bleeding, as she goes into decontamination.
And Helo just takes her hands ‘are you okay’ and she gives him a quick nod before reporting to Bill and Lee. “She’s a Cylon, she can handle a radiation dose that big.” “We think!” Helo snaps.
“Nausea from the radiation exposure will take care of our appetites.”
“We’re all flying solo on this mission, so there’ll be no one to bitch slap you if you start to drift or start seeing little toasters on your ass.” Lol, Kara.
Aaaand that’s how Kat (or Sacha) gets caught; one of her friends from her old life catches her. “My name isn’t Sacha. It’s Captain Louanne Katraine. Sacha and you were a long time ago.” Awww, yay, she got promoted! Probably when she was CAG earlier but she didn’t get demoted back again which I appreciate.
Back to the basestar “could you believe I’m lost again” lol Gaius. “If I spoke to the relevant Simon, would I actually find out you were at this meeting?” “Who would tell you anything about my business?” “So, it’s true?” “Caprica?” and he quickly shifts to put her on the defensive in a different direction. “Did you know you have some dried goo in your hair?”
“Do you have any idea what you are accusing me of?” “Yes. Intentionally killing yourself over and over so you can download over and over. But death’s just a revolving door, isn’t it?”
Aaaaaand of course her ex is blackmailing her.
“Since when is it a crime to take care of your own? Remember, I know who you are. I know how to make you happy.” And he goes in for sex, and she rebuffs him.
And all those shots from the top of the stairs…was that to indicate Kara or someone else was listening in?
YAY TIGH IS BACK AS XO!!!
Or he’s hovering outside the door, working himself up to coming in and aww Bill’s little smile.
Felix and Dee are like “don’t make it weird don’t make it weird don’t make it weird” and then people start applauding and my heaaaaaaaaaart.
“Enough! Don’t you people have jobs to do?!” And Bill and Gaeta are the ones not making it a Thing. Bill just quietly says “welcome back”
Tigh looking at the sigil/symbol on the wall <3333333
Helo trying to talk Hotdog through “ease up on the throttle, this is not a viper.”
Aaaaaaand they lost one ship on this first jump through. :((((((
Aaaaand Kat’s patch is black. But she found her ship that she thought she’d lost!
Or maybe not.
Her face when she comes out of the decon shower oh man. :(((((
And Hotdog pukes on the deck. Not for the first time.
She looks around at the other pilots, many of whom are. Not Doing Okay. Helo’s doing better than most, at least. Which is why she picks his patch to steal, probably.
“We gotta get better at tracking our sheep. Racetrack, don’t call out coordinates to the wrong ship.”
And Kara watches Kat go, but helps up one of the others first.
100 marines down, 200 close to it, civilians causing Problems on the other side…
“I heard they were eating paper. Is that true?” “No. Paper shortage.” And they both start laughing because what else can you do at this point.
Oh, this is where Starbuck sees Kat and her ex, because he’s still hanging around, and she’s checking out one of the raptors and sees them arguing on the catwalk.
“So, when you resurrect, you see the faces of the final five Cylons? The ones that no one’s seen.” “Why do you want to know about them?” “I could be a Cylon. I would stop being a traitor to one set of people, and be a hero to another. And have a place to belong. You would help me understand my destiny. Have you seen my face?” “Your face? I can’t remember.” And she’s been trying to draw while it’s still fresh on her mind, but nothing much comes out. “Cylons, humans…we’re all just trying to discover who we are, aren’t we?”
Aaaand Kat’s ex flirting with random girls, and Starbuck approaches him, calling him by name. and then she goes to confront Kat.
“I took the name Louanne Katraine from a girl who died two days before the attack on Caprica. Got me through the background checks.” “Yeah. Times were rough. Keep going.” “I was a drug runner. Enzo was my supplier. What do you want? We were truckers, okay? We just moved stuff.” “People. You see, some think that that’s the way the Cylons infiltrated Caprica. They seeded themselves in the outer colonies and then used criminals to get them into the capital. Anyone who’s found guilty of helping the Cylons is considered a traitor.” “We didn’t carry Cylons.” “How do you know?” “Because nobody knew they looked like us!” “Then how do you know you didn’t?!” and then the way Starbuck leans in. “You think I’m a traitor. You think I’m a traitor?” “No. I don’t think you’re a traitor. You’re a smart young woman. That’s what the old man said. You’re just not smart enough to accept who you are. You see, you lied your way into the company of good people.” And they’re at kiss-or-kill distance and Kat is crying and begs her not to tell Bill. “Please don’t, or I—” “Or what?” “Please just let me tell him myself. Please, just let me. Can you do that?” and Starbuck is…the way she looks at her then. And then she just says ‘gods’ half under her breath and walks away.
And D’Anna and Gaius are going back to the Hybrid.
“This is where you got the idea to start…intentionally downloading? …let’s see what we can find out.” And he approaches the tank, kneels next to her, and rolls up his sleeve. “What do you think you’re doing?” And he closes his eyes and visibly braces himself, slowly lowering his hand into the tank. “Don’t touch it!” but then the Hybrid grabs his arm and looks directly at him which is New. And the Terror on his face omg. “Intelligence. A mind that burns like a fire.” “…yes, I’m here.” “Find the hand that lies in the shadow of the light. In the eye of the husband of the eye of the cow.” And he pulls back and he seems like he’s in pain, and her head returns to its regular orientation. “Are you all right?” D’Anna asks. “It just speaks nonsense, right?” “…I don’t think anything it says is nonsense. The husband of the eye, the eye of the…Hera. Hera, sometimes referred to as cow-eyed Hera. And the husband of Hera…” “is Jupiter. The Eye of Jupiter. It’s written about in the ancient texts. My god…could there be a connection between their gods and ours? What does it mean?” “It’s a location. A planet, hidden in the shadow of light, probably a cluster of stars…that’ll lead us to the Eye of Jupiter, and to the hand hidden in the shadow of light.” As he stares at his hand, and his logic brain keeps going. “Probably some kind of artifact. As in five. Five faces. Now all we have to do is find the right planet.” And he drags his sleeve back down so slowly.
Kat studying her reflection in the mirror, struggling to decide what to do. She finds her hair is falling out. Checks her patch, thinks, remembers “accept who you are.” Goes to see Enzo. “Thieving bastard. You’re going to cost me everything I’ve got.” And then she has sex with him, and running her hand along the raptor, and…yep, breaks into Helo’s locker to steal his patch.
God she looks like hell. Poor Kat.
Oh noooo she lost her last ship too…
And they have to jump, but she refuses to lose another one, so she stays to look for Faru Sadin, even though her patch was already black and—oooh, algae planet has Rings!
…huh, I guess either of the two seats in the front of a raptor can be used by the pilot? Because some of the pilots seem to be on the right and some on the left.
And her stolen patch is black now, too, and. And and and.
Aww, Saul. “Come on, Kat (or possibly kid?). Come on home.”
And that calm look on her face as she spots Faru Sadin and then she brings them home my heart.
“Galactica, Kat. Mission accomplished.” And her face. And. And I know what’s coming. And. :(((((((((
And Helo starts a round of applause for her and and and and she’s barely standing as she comes out of her raptor, but she puts her arms up for Victory and takes off her helmet and reaches up to take off her helmet and then Lee realizes and glances to the side and then she collapses and.
MY HEART. “I don’t think we should end the way we ended.” “Listen. Everybody is stuck with the things they’re not proud of. That, uh, that thing about good people, I…I didn’t mean that.” “Yeah, I know.” And Starbuck gives her sleeping pills. “Enough,” she says. “Take ‘em if you want.” BAWLING. “Thank you.” “…Igottago.”
And the way Bill puts his hand on her shoulder as she flees and goooooooooood.
“Admiral, I…I’m so sorry.” “I’m not here to lecture. I’m letting you know about a promotion. I’m making you CAG again.” “…sir, you know I’m not getting out of here, right?” “You earned it. What you did was harder than facing a bullet. And you did it without putting one other soul in harm’s way. Don’t know if I could’ve done that. I wish there was something more that I could give you.” “No. it’s good. I’d like to be CAG very much. Thank you. …sir, there…there’s a thing. A reason why you might not want to do this. Kara knows what it is, but I wanted to tell you myself.” “I don’t need to know anything other than what I already know. When you were CAG, you protected your people. Made them feel safe enough to be brave. What you were gonna say, does it change that?” and he goes to get a chair to sit with her and BAWL. ING. “Are you…you staying?” “Oh, I’m staying. I love this sickbay, in a way. Reminds me of where my son Zak was born. Carolanne was so happy. She was convinced both times that she was having a girl. So it was a surprise at the end.” “Did you want a girl, too?” “Yeah. Three’s a good round number.” GODDDDDDDDD MY HEART I CAN’T TAKE IT. And then he changes the board and ;____________;
AND THERE’S A BIT OF WANDER MY FRIENDS IN ALL STRINGS AS THE OTHER PILOTS WATCH HIM DO IT AND FUCCCCCCCCCCCCK
And Kara puts her on the memorial wall.
God fucking damn it that episode. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
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Every Kaeloo Season 1 Episodes RANKED
Disclaimer: I am so terribly sorry that I put this out so late than I intended. Outside stuff is making things busy for me and in turn had made projects like this overdue. I won't make a complete schedule for the other rankings as a result, so make sure to check back to the blog for any updates on the next one.
Also, if you wish to rank episodes of Season 1, I have a link here to form your own tier list, but only if you have watched the season in it's entirety. I will mention how to watch the show during the beginning of my review, so look out for that. But until then:
Season 1 Tier List (made by me!): https://tiermaker.com/create/kaeloo-season-1-episode-tier-list-15328649
What if you have The Backyardigans, with the slapstick of Ed Edd n Eddy and Tex Avery cartoons. The zany comedy of Spongebob. And the social satire of South Park and Gumball.
Combined with an art and animation style of Rayman and…Fanboy and Chum Chum…?
That is what I would describe Kaeloo!
The 2010 CG French cartoon by Remi Chapotot and Jean-François Henry, that was formed from a pilot short back in 2007.
I discovered this wonderful, wacky, sometimes weird show from TV Tropes back in 2017, and then 5 years later in December 2021, I immediately became obsessed with it. That same year, I was obsessed with Rise of the TMNT since April and would not stop getting hyped up until I calmed down months later. And then the cycle continued with Kaeloo, and now here we are lmao.
I have been wanting to do something to commemorate this series for a while, until I decided on an idea. To celebrate Season 5 coming perhaps this year, maybe? I came up with a plan to form my thoughts on each season by ranking their respective episodes from worst to best. I will do a little season overview to lay out the quality of how they handle the characters, writing, and animation. And then the episode rankings will be where I will sum up my thoughts.
Now I have done this episode ranking format before. Back in 2020, I posted a Mao Mao Season 1 ranking on my respective Mao Mao fanblog. It’s still decent, but the problem was that, aside from my favorite episodes, the other tiers have the episodes ranked by episode airdate order rather than personal taste. And that I could have laid out my reasons as to why they were in the tiers I placed them. One day, when I get back into Mao Mao, I will properly fix that tier list.
But back to Kaeloo, this is going to be the most fun and most exhausting ranking series I ever have to do. The fun part is rewatching every single episode again, almost like a sense of nostalgia from watching them the first time. But the exhausting part is getting through the episodes that were just plain boring or drive me up the wall.
Regardless, I know that despite the hardships that will appear, this will still be the most interesting project I will ever do.
IMPORTANT NOTE: this ranking/review will contain some spoilers, so please read this if you have watched Season 1 and all of Kaeloo in its entirety. You can watch the show available on Canal Plus to support the series legally. Make sure that your VPN is strong enough to access, because if not, I recommend getting a stronger one. For Season 1, the English Dub is available on Dailymotion along with the original French Dub being fansubbed by fellow Kaeloo fan, RandomnessUnlimited. However, as of writing this, there’s only 15 episodes posted so far. So it’s either sticking to the original or English Dub. If you stick to the English Dub, prepare for your ears and your soul to shrivel up the moment you hear some obxnoxious, annoying voices. But if you can stomach that kind of torture, then you’re all set!
So of course, we are starting with Season 1! But first, a little overview:
Quick Skim
Kaeloo Season 1 was interesting to say the least. If you have been into a long-running show, and go back into the first season, you’ll notice how many changes that happened from the past to the present. Season 1 is sort of like this. Like the characters and plot have still stayed as the show moved on, but the format and writing style had changed.
This season goes for a more formulaic plot, like shows like Phineas and Ferb. Where Kae wants to play a game, Cat doesn’t wanna play a game but changes his mind to cheat and beat up Quack-Quack, Stumpy tries to win but fails, Cat beats up Quack, Kae turns into Bad Kaeloo and beats him up, and then epilogue.
Boom, rinse and repeat!
That may get kind of tiresome, but thankfully, they do manage to work around the formula and have a couple of episodes play out differently while keeping the main plot around.
The setup for this season and the show in general is just neat. Kaeloo is basically a parody of one of those preschool shows you’ve seen as a kid, think of Dora the Explorer and The Backyardigans. Where “the cast are best friends, explore new worlds, and learn morals along the way, and have fun uwu~!”. Kaeloo slaps that in the face and warps that concept with a twisted edge to it.
Instead, the main cast, while friends, would sometimes bite each other in the back and throw each other off with insults or violence. There’s a character who gets whacked with a mallet to being blown to bits with a goddamn bazooka. And it has some absurd adult jokes and actual—mind you—actual swearing that would make your eyes wide hard. And I love it! I understand that those examples, along with the mean-spirited tone might not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s understandable. But I, like other people, truly appreciate Kaeloo for what it is. Being a rather morbid show joking off shows like Dora, that also doubles as a goofy slapstick comedy.
I see the humor of the show divided into 5 core elements. Its character driven, with some black comedy, surrealism, social commentary, and slapstick. These are what makes the comedy of Kaeloo so great. Of course not every joke hits, but the ones that do truly hit. It mostly works off of the characters and how they would act around the situation they’re in. There’s a saying that when you make such interesting characters, you can put them into any scenario and it would just work. And thankfully that applies to the cast of Kaeloo, specifically the main four. Speaking of which…
In this season, there’s no other characters, no talking sheep, no talking objects! Just four wacky characters, living in an equally wacky world.
Kaeloo, Stumpy, Quack-Quack, and Mr. Cat are an all-around neat set of characters. If you were to watch any episode from this season alone, you’d pretty much get the gist of them. They all bring their cards out to the table about who they are, what they’re like, and how they play off against each other. Most of the time in the wrong ways (looking at you, Cat). Now this season doesn’t have any strong character development. There are bits of backstory revelations involving characters like Cat and Quack for example, but that’s about it. And that’s perfectly fine, as while I do dig that a ton, I don’t mind it when the story gives that a back seat and let’s the characters just vibe in their own way.
For my opinions of the quadruple this season? Hmm… I don’t want to make this section too long since the ranking will be longer and I will continue to share my thoughts on them during that time. So I’ll try and keep this brief!
Kae and Quack are both okay. For being the title character, Kaeloo’s not so bad. I like how even when she seems to be generally nice, there are moments where her faults come to light, mostly comes from her bring bossy to the buddies. She has a few shining moments here, a handful of which are great, and I’ll discuss them when we get to it! But overall, especially from rewatch, it wasn’t enough to make me fully invest in her. I do prefer how she is handled in the later seasons, where despite her being more irritating at times, I love how there’s some moments where she tries to improve herself. But here, she’s decent, but not my favorite. The same can be said for Quack-Quack, providing some funny visual gags with the way his body functions, his obsession with yogurt, and being just a straight-up god in general. He’s a bit better than Kae this season but didn’t really leave any major impact on me.
However, on the other hand, Cat and Stumpy carried this season for me! Mr. Cat is just probably one of the best characters in the entire series, can we all just admit it? Well okay, I guess this was a given already. Yes, he’s a complete jerk who’s grumpy and also a sadistic schemer, but I also love him. There’s more to him than just him being “the sadistic bully”, since he’s revealed to be a very intelligent guy and also have rare occurrences of caring for Kae and the buddies. Both of these qualities are expanded on in the later seasons and to great effect that helps his character as well, but that comes way soon. As for Stumps, I also love him. He may be my number two, but he’s still amazing! Stumpy makes me laugh with whatever action he does. Constantly having his bad luck affect his chances of winning a game while constantly raving on for his love for video games and comic books. I relate to this guy somewhat since we share similar hobbies, and that’s one of the reasons why I adore this funky lil’ dude.
As for other stuff, the animation’s pretty good. While it being a CG cartoon during the early 2010s is nothing new, the fact that it emulated squash and stretch into this form was something special. It’s a reason why I said that this show was like Fanboy and Chum Chum at the beginning, since that show and Kaeloo were the early forms of using this sort of animation technique, especially in television. It wasn’t until we had movies like Hotel Translyvania that fully kicked off this trend, and I’m rather happy for that. For Season 1, the animation is still impressive. I did spotted a few errors, but it’s too be expected, and thankfully it’s shown only rarely. There’s some neat character expressions and some surprising action sequences here that still holds up. Of course, the later seasons did improve these two points, but I want to give this season some credit where credit is do.
Oh yeah, and the music’s a banger, Franck Marchal really nailed it. Many of the OSTs in this show are so memorable, a few of them got stuck in my head. Really do hope the series gets an official soundtrack one day.
Alright, so the overview is done! I didn’t want this to be long since the ranking itself will be, so hopefully I will shorten them a bit for the rest of the seasons.
So, let us finally get the ranking over with to determine my complete thoughts on Season 1!
We’re going from “JUST AWFUL” to “JUST AWESOME” rather than going from F-S Tier. I just like it that way. Case you’re wondering, “JUST AWFUL” is where an episode is just so bad, I consider it to be my least favorite. Period. Will not watch ever again. “JUST AWESOME” is of course the episodes that are my absolute favorite and will continue to watch them whenever I can. And the other tiers, Bad, Okay, Good, and Great, are exactly what it says in the tin.
Now that’s settled, let us properly begin! Starting with…
Bad Tier
Okay so thankfully, there’s only two bad episodes in this season, which is good for me at least. They aren’t awful per say, but are still badly written overall. So, with that said, my least favorite episode this season is:
52. Justice Masters
Mr. Cat Gets Relaxation Challenge: impossible
This sucked butt.
Now Cat had done some pretty heinous stuff before, but here, he hadn’t, at all. Okay maybe he did lied about jumping off a cliff to garner sympathy from the quote-on-quote “Justice Masters” but that’s about it. All he wanted was to just relax from all the stress he’d been having, but the Legion of Superdoops decided to make things worse!
Kae and the buddies being these superheroes to keep Mr. Cat relaxed seemed interesting at first, but just became unbearable as the story continued. They finally seem to get the memo and created a beautiful spa to make Cat happy, only for it to fumble hard when it became a freaking death spa on the poor cat. Again, if Cat did something ruthless in this episode, then it would be kind of funny? But he didn’t so, it wasn’t!
I did like the hero references, one or two gags, and Kae’s gratuitous Spanish. But that’s it.
It sucked, moving on.
51. Goodbye Mr. Cat
I too would be like the narrator sobbing over Cat’s farewell…well supposed farewell to be exact.
This episode had a rather interesting concept that would have been so perfect, not only for a sweet emotional payoff, but a nice character moment for Cat!
But however, the biggest problem was the way how it was handled.
The tension of getting Cat to stay wasn’t really there for me. It seemed so from the first part but then it fumbled over by the second half. The twist was creative, I’ll give it that, but it came in too early and was just there to be yet another “Cat gets boo-boos from Badka moment”. Speaking of which, Mr. Cat beating up the buddies after everything they done to try and help him was not great either. I know that he’s a jerk and all, but still. We have seen that he does care for them, but in a subtle way at least.
Honestly, I think Grown Ups and Bye Bye Yogurt handled this similar premise better, especially the former because of the aforementioned detail of Cat showing signs of caring for his friends.
Overall, not an awful episode, but the execution could have been so much more.
Okay that’s it for the bad episodes, and now for the mediocre ones!
Okay Tier
Yeah, there was a surprising amount of mid in this season. The bottom half are the ones that are boring, while the top half are decent at best. So we’re starting with…
50. Peace Man/Peace
This episode started off with Cat smelling his stinky armpits and ends with him getting violated with kisses from Badka…..w-what…?
Yeah, that’s like the only two highlights from this episode that I actually remembered, and not in a good way. This one was just boring. I pretty much have nothing else to say about it, aside from those two moments that are the most cursed of all of Kaeloo!
Oh, and Cat swearing, goated moment.
Overall, just skip it, moving on.
49. Hopscotch
A game of hopscotch and religious symbolism sounds kind of intriguing, but it wasn’t to me at least. It’s boring.
A few jokes were decent, and I liked Quack’s evolution from angel to demon.
That’s all I put in from my notes, it’s just fine.
48. Teachers
Teachers is a little better, but still mid.
It’s just not really that funny, but the character moments were neat. Cat’s odd diagnosis involving Kae and Badka’s internal conflict was weird. I know it was meant for laughs, but I dunno.
Eh, it’s also alright, I guess.
47. Magicians
I thought this episode was boring the first time I watched it, and it’s still boring upon rewatch, wow, surprising!
The suicide scene, for starters, was not great.
Stumpy’s “what doesn’t exist” thing was admittingly funny, but it didn’t go anywhere. Cat’s magician drip was neat, and I liked the dance scene but that’s it.
Just Stumps in denial and magician shenanigans, alright.
46. Circus
Yet another episode that was boring from first time and rewatch, but slightly better.
I like a few of the performances, and the jokes, but yeah, that’s about it.
45. Catch the Mailman
Okay, you know the drill, boring before, boring again. When Cat showed up, things got a little better. I also liked the mailmain strike scene, that got a laugh out of me. I also liked Badka attempted to be funny, that was cute. Either way, it’s a’ight.
44. Ecologists
I thought this ep was super boring when I first watched it, but now? Eh, you know, it’s kinda decent. Some of the jokes, mostly on protecting the environment did made me laugh, and yeah it’s not bad. Still might not go back to watching it, but I’m at least glad I have it another shot!
43. Cops and Robbers
Okay, this one is mid, but kind of high?
I thought the twist of what happened to Quack’s yogurt was confusing at first, but I rewatched the episode again for any clues that made some sense. And alright, it was fine at least, but could have been better. Also Cat using the “serious case” as a means to screw over Quack is kind of odd? Like he wasn’t involved in the crime at all, and instead ended up getting arrested anyway for another crime, bruh.
I will admit, the car chase scene was the highlight, it’s a lot of fun and funny too! Though I find it weird that Stumpy can drive here, and then many episodes later come Driver’s Ed, where he doesn’t know how to drive. Either this ep came after that one for there’s some continuity errors!
Uh, what’s else, what else? Umm, I like Cat’s scream when the banana got shot up his nose, it made me laugh hard due to how ridiculous it was. I dunno, Cat screaming would make me laugh sometimes lmao.
So yeah, my thoughts for this episode are all over the place, so to sum it up, it’s still decent.
42. Golf!
This is one is okay, but I do have an issue with it due to the character inconsistencies. The biggest one being Kae cheating, and Cat being dumb enough to believe her while Stumpy managed to not fall for her lie. Huh? I can kind of see it from a detail of Kaeloo having faults of her own and not liking when she’s wrong when she actually is. I don’t mind if that was the point, but it was still odd to watch.
Aside from a few visual gags and jokes, this one’s still mid.
41. Tennis
Okay this one is a bit of fun. I like how Cat becomes Kae and Stumpy’s coach and then later favoring them as a part of him cheating. I can see why since Quack-Quack’s pretty much a god in this game, and this little detail would be brought up again somewhat in Season 2’s Baseball. The only difference here is that Kaeloo refused to cheat to win. Also, a few visual gags and the slow-motion jokes were funny.
Overall, not bad ep.
40. Figurines
It’s insane how this went from playing with figurines to an incident where you sign a contract from the Devil to gain voodoo powers, amazing. Cat being Quack’s servant from the voodoo fiasco was the highlight, hilarious stuff. Also, Kaeloo making her and Cat’s figurines kiss…think of that as you will 😉.
But yeah, it’s still decent, but entertaining at least.
39. Treasure Hunt
Yeah, this one isn’t that bad either. Cat’s various traps made for some intense moments and fun gags. Also Kae, no offense, but I kind of agree with Stumpy here. A picture of your face as the surprise is kind of lame. Overall, not bad of an episode!
38. The Thing From Outer Space
I can’t believe that Quack-Quack would throw away his adopted child/pet for some yogurt. Man…
This episode’s strength is the quote-on-quote “thing from outer space”, and it got intriguing as to what this thing really is, and the twist of it’s revelation was a good one, won’t spoil it here. Also the music choice for this one is nice.
Wish it could have been a lot funnier, but this one is still not bad of a watch.
37. …
Okay, I have a confession to make. I know you will not like this, but I have to say it upfront. This is my opinion, and it’s alright if you disagree with me and my thoughts. So read this clear when I say that the episode I put in this tier is…
37. Courtroom Drama
Yeah, that’s right. Courtoom Drama is mid.
Now, I know some of you guys are looking at me and saying: “House, have you been smoking candyweed? You cannot be serious!” Don’t worry, I am completely serious.
I knew about how much this episode is hated by some fans of the show, and I was in sort of the bandwagon at first. But the more I rewatched it, the more I began to realize that it’s kind of okay. But why do people hate it so much? Simple: the ending itself. Where Kaeloo turned out to be faking her sadness of leaving Smileyland to trick Mr. Cat into confessing his crime, who in turn attempted to be genuine.
I can see why this can be angering to some, but upon realizing it, I didn’t think it was that awful of an ending. To be fair, while Mr. Cat did try his best to make it up to Kaeloo, he did bait her and the court into making her guilty using Bad Kaeloo as an example. So while the punishment he got was really harsh, I will admit, I still think he kind of deserved it.
Aside from that, the rest of the episode was surprisingly fun. There were some gags I laughed hard at, like Stumpy as the judge and Cat’s fake as hell flashback to the crime scene which I’m sure was meant to emulate Kae’s daily life.
So to add it up, it’s a decent episode. I can greatly understand why you guys hate it, and that’s okay! I am fine with your opinions on this one as long as you’re fine with mine’s. Plus, there are episodes of the series that I consider to be waaaay worse than this one, especially an episode that I despise the most. Also there’s another episode later down the line that has somewhat of a similar ending to this one, but not great. We will get to those two points eventually, I’ll let you know. So again, I think Courtroom Drama is alright, but if you hate it, more power to you.
36. Doctors and Nurses/Doctors
Oh my lord is that title card nasty, ewww! Like I understand that it’s meant to represent the episode about a character being sick, but STILL, IT’S SO GROSS!
*takes a deep breath* Okay, I’m cool.
The hospital jokes were admittingly funny and strangely accurate. Cat was entertaining, as always. And poor Stumpy, my boy dead and nobody even cares, man…
Not a bad episode, overall!
35. Detectives
This was a kind of a fun time. I liked how it made fun of detective movies and did a take on how old school and modern advanced detectives handled cases. The revelation of the mystery is admittedly odd and doesn’t really make any sense, but I’m sure it’s meant not to be taken seriously, and I can accept that. Also props to Kae’s VA man, he really nailed that deep voice, bruh. Once again, decent, but not bad.
Okay, so that was rather lengthy, but let’s finally get to the good stuff!
Good Tier
34. Simon Says!
Now this one ain’t so bad. This is probably one of the eps in the show where Cat is at his cruelest, robbing Kae of her money to forcing Quack to strip, jeez my dude.
A few jokes were decent, the one with Kae’s lisp comes to mind. And the opening short at the beginning was pretty cute.
That’s it, good stuff!
33. Super Powers
This is the most anime the show has ever been.
I thought that the buddies would get their own powers, hence the title, but instead they get it from these training cards. So, this whole episode feels more like a Yu-Gi-Oh parody if anything, with some notable references to boot, which are neat.
Major F to Stumpy, Quack’s just too unbeatable. Oh, and Cat too, he suffered a lot here.
So yeah, it’s not bad.
32. Art Class
As an art lover myself, I was impressed with the jokes surrounding how art is treated in the critical viewpoint and in the topic of currency. I digged it. Also, I actually was amused as Kae whenever she said that Stump’s art is trash and I said out loud “Yo, just look at your art!”, haha!
Good episode, wished it was more funnier though.
31. Hide N’ Hunt
This is one of the few episodes that proves that this show is an early form of Squid Game.
The problem with this episode for me is the clone thing. A few moments, they seemingly have a mind of their own, like with Stumpy’s clones for example. But most of the time they’re like holograms or something where they just repeat whatever their original host is saying. Having all three of them talk at times can be a bit confusing and annoying, kind of wish they handled them a bit better.
Aside from that, it’s still good, not much else to say.
30. Baby-Sitting
Oh boy oh boy, it’s the episode where we get some full on Kaelat, finally!
I thought this episode was okay first time, but upon rewatch, heh you know, it’s kinda funny! So this is I assume the first episode of the series to have 2 plots of sorts, and the results are rather mixed. Okay, the Kaelat First Date Fling was boring. It didn’t really add much in my opinion, aside from some interesting character lore, and for Kae and Cat to have a moment together at least. Also Cat attempting to uh…do that certain thing was kind of amusing at first watch, but nowadays it’s really awkward and I don’t like it.
Although, Stumpy attempting to “practice babysit” Quack was funny though, and the highlight for me. And it also had a rather funny ending.
So a weak B-plot with the Kaelat “date”, but the A-plot made up for it, so it’s not a bad outing!
29. House/Papa-Maman
Oh my gosh I’m in a Kaeloo episode, dreams do some true!
Joking aside, what I really like about this episode is not only the jokes involving this not-so-perfect family, but also an analysis involving the group dynamics between them. Kaeloo gets some harsh truths when she realizes how far she had gone into the game, forcing Stumpy and Quack-Quack into the roles they didn’t even want to, which causes them to leave. Mr. Cat’s actions as the father didn’t help either, which many fans including me speculated that it’s in turn due to how he was treated by his own family. And less said about the certain couch scene between Cat and Kae, the better.
This leads into me saying that I’m not a fan of Kae and Cat’s “romance” in Season 1. I assume the intention was that they aren’t as close as expected. This in turn causes one of them to make the other annoyed or uncomfortable. And scenes like the kiss scene in Peace Man and this episode’s couch scene really made things awkward. A similar conflict resides in the buddies’ relationships with each other, where the broken family seems to reflect on the fact that there’s some issues within them.
But then, there’s the ending. Kaeloo realizes what she’s done and goes to apologize to Stumpy and Quack-Quack for her behavior. They then forgive her, and Stumpy even offers Kae his game controller when she asks him for it. It made me say “aww” aloud whenever I rewatch this moment. It makes me appreciate the series for the fact that while it is mean-spirited at times, and that the buddies due tend to get into disputes, they still do care for each other. The later seasons greatly exemplify this, especially Kae and Cat’s relationship, but that discussion will be saved at a later date.
Overall, while it’s not my favorite Kaeloo episode, I still think it’s special to me because of these aforementioned reasons. Still has some nice jokes, and that sweet ending that puts this higher on my list.
…Also, what in the hell was up with that title card in the French dub?
28. Hot-Cold
Aside from the suicidal visuals which I did not like, this was rather fun!
It was sweet of the buddies helping out Stumpy with his first date with Ursula, even when their attempts where kind of disastrous, but again, their hearts were in the right place and thankfully things seem to turn out well.
Also, I got a major vibe from Season 4’s All Alone. Mainly because of the details from the beginning of this ep, like Kae playing by herself, Cat mentioning the alley cat parties. Interesting stuff, unsure if this was some crazy ass foreshadowing or not.
Overall, neat stuff!
Great Tier
Alright, now we finally reached the episodes I thought were great! Not my all-time favorites, but still a close second.
27. Reading Books
This one was pretty funny! I know some people would be mixed over the scenes involving the porno mags, but I think they aren’t that bad. I think they go well with the little humorous feud between Cat and Quack over them. It reminded me of those old school 40s/50s cartoons such as Tex Avery. And as a massive fan of his stuff plus the fact that cartoons like this were an inspiration to Kaeloo, I am greatly impressed!
What I am not impressed with is the ending where Kae checked out Cat’s “goods” when he turned into a book at the end. I did get the intention of the joke they were making so I can understand. But bro, this was considered the first Kaelat moment? Wow.
Also, poor Stumps man, the earlier eps didn’t treat him so kindly, but it’s a given really.
Overall, I liked it a lot, not bad.
26. Trap-Trap
A simple one, but still neat. Quack-Quack’s yogurt withdraw was the highlight, which made for some funny jokes and admittedly creepy moments, especially that ending, oof.
Also the Kaelat “hug” was cute and funny, nothing else to say, it’s great.
25. TV News!
I personally relate to Kae when it comes to heavy topics on the news. And while it’s tough seeing reports on something so tragic, it’s still what I and other people have to take into consideration. Regardless, I still feel bad for her.
For some levity, there were some good jokes, Cat is amazing as always, Stumps as well.
So yeah, great ep!
24. Astronauts
This was a really fun episode. Okay, I had a few problems like that certain slur Alt!Stumps said, and of course the ending where the buddies prank Stumpy over that nightmare he had.. Should have ended with him during his therapy session, tbh.
Other than those problemas, I still liked it!
The concept of the main cast meeting their other selves in another dimension is a concept I like, and it has been brought up more in future episodes, and even a story in the official comic. A few fans had also got into making ideas for it, and I do wanna get into it too one day.
So it’s still great, despite the cruel twist ending.
23. Spies
Spies isn’t the strongest of the roleplaying episodes, nor is it my personal favorite (Season 2 Ranking for more info), but I still digged it!
The highlight was obviously the truth serum scene. I am sure that this scene was just crumbs of character lore, headcanons, and theories for the fans, including me, to tear into. Pretty sad stuff, though Stumpy’s truths were treated as comedic though.
I loved the jokes, including Stumpy’s attempts of being the traitor and constantly failing.
Still great, overall!
22. Para-Normal/Paranormal Stuff
Ghostbusters references, I see what you did there, Kaeloo crew!
This is kind of an underrated episode, in my opinion. I admired the supernatural shenanigans, and the boss battles, being an obvious nod to Ghostbusters. It also has a few concepts that I’m sure was brought up again in Season 3’s The Door, like the journeying to a world within one’s head or something like that. Maybe that’s just me, but whatever, fun romp.
21. Guess Who
Really funny stuff! Fun gags, a neat game concept, and of course, Stumpy and Quack’s emotional and compelling breakup arc. Truly a breathtaking experience.
20. Danger Survivor Island
I thought this episode was good, and nothing else the first time I watched it. But overtime, I grew to like it a lot more, and I see why other fans too!
The selling point here was Kae, where her selfishness on how the “Danger Island” should be from her way by making it cutesy, rather than how it’s intended. This causes her to be voted out of the game in the end, which feels like a nice change of pace since this time around she’s in the wrong.
I loved the gags, especially the voting drawings! Quack-Quack could draw so well, amazing stuff.
Not a personal favorite, but I still love it!
19. Gangster Poker
Now this was neat! Cat was a nice antagonist, very ruthless though regarding him pulling a ransom on Kae and he got a well-deserved punishment.
Stumpy being Cat’s sidekick was neat, along with the funny gags of him constantly nicknaming him. And then he pulls the betrayal plan to become the boss only for that to fail badly. I love it. Also, I love the scene of Kae and Cat yelling at each other’s names, kind of adorable.
Side note, I feel like this episode gives out a hint towards Cat’s backstory, but maybe that’s just me.
All in all, great ep.
18. Happy Rotter
Not a Harry Potter fan, but even then, I still think the parody of the series is not bad!
Though, a problem I have is Quack-Quack’s trauma, as his backstory along with the death of his parents were introduced here. The way they handled it was mixed to me, since they used it as a running gag and eventually a Chekhov’s Gun at the end to defeat Cat. It’s a fine use of black comedy but I don’t know, I’m just not a fan of it.
On the plus side, the gags were funny, the spells were pretty creative, and of course, Mr. Cat’s goth outfit! Peak drip right there.
17. Me-No-Nopoly
I got nothing much to say about Me-No-Nopoly, other than it’s a banger. The jokes are neat, and Quack realizing that he wants his friends back rather than being a corrupt king was sweet. Also, episodes like this and Season 4’s Your Rubber I’m Glue should be a reminder to never make Mr. Cat play God/king. Keyword: never.
16. Quest for the Wholly Gruel
I would love to place Wholly Gruel in my Awesome tier, if not for one thing: Nazi Cat. *sigh*
Now I do get what they were doing here. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Indiana Jones, which is what the episode is obviously parodying, but the first and third movies had nazis as the villains. So, the concept of having Cat being a villainous nazi is the intention I can understand, but still, it can be hard to stomach. Especially when he has the red band, and the symbol that resembles the swastika, and the book burning joke. That’s fine if you’re alright with it, but I can really understand why others don’t love it.
But thankfully, that’s like the only big problem I have with the episode. Everything else is really good!
The gags here make me laugh hard. Stumpy was the highlight, as he is unaware that he is putting his friends in real danger while he’s using the Gruel in wanting the prehistoric people drawings to die. Amazing. It is kind of cathartic, considering Kae locked him in the cavern earlier without him giving her a second thought.
Also the animation is really neat, aside from this weird lighting issue, the facial expressions and the action sequences are just awesome!
Fun Fact: this episode was featured at the Annecy Festival from 2011, in 3-D. Yeah, you heard me, 3-FLIPPING-D. Those lucky dudes! Also the Very Special Episode was also shown in Annecy in 2017, but not in 3-D. Kind of wished it did, since the animation from that ep was also great, but story for another day. Man I cannot wait to talk about Season 3, aargh!
Anyway, if not for Nazi Cat, then this would have been an easy S-tier. But hey, it’s placed at a high A, so it’s more of an honorable mention at least.
Alright, now we can finally get to the episodes that I really loved, the Just Awesome tier, AKA the placement for my favorite episodes, period.
So let’s get it rollin’!
JUST AWESOME
15. Streetball
Streetball is great because Mr. Cat raps and it’s epic, that’s it!
Okay but for real, the songs in this one is just great, easily top tier. Cat’s rap like I mentioned is again, epic. And the rap number with the main four is neat too, they didn’t need to make it, but they did and I love it.
I really loved the jokes here, Cat once again doing whatever he can to cheat his way though and Stumpy attempting to be this hip basketball player. I do relate to him when it comes to playing the game, it’s nice to watch, but man can it be hard sometimes.
So yeah, it’s a banger, especially because the songs are bangers.
14. Once Upon a Time
This was a total riot. Not only are the shades of fairy tales being graphic nice, but Stumpy’s own fairy tale story was just great. It’s exactly what imaginative 10 year olds would think of and I love it. It’s so goofy, and nonsensical, but it’s Stumpy, so you should know what you’re expecting.
It’s hard to believe that this episode got a sequel episode from Season 3, and while I loved that one too, I gotta give props to the OG.
13. Musical Chairs
Okay so funny story. When I first watched this episode, I considered it to be decent, with a few gags I loved.
But now? Upon rewatch, this is one of the couple of episodes in the whole show to make me laugh hard. That’s probably a me thing, but damn it, this one was just a riot!
We have Cat being freaking extra over cheating his way to beat Quack-Quack. One example has Stumpy tripping Kae with his foot, and then you have Quack-Quack getting chased by Mr. Cat, who’s driving a car while attempting to slice him with a chainsaw. The moment I saw this scene, I just lost it. The fact that my dude decided to use a car, as opposed to just running was just incredible.
And then it gets wilder. Stumpy bonds with the leftover chairs, to the point where some almighty force grants him his wish to make them alive, which evolves into a full on revolution for their rights! And then this causes Cat and Quack to team up to take them down, but they’re defeated anyway.
This episode was just a straight up wacky experience, but hey, that’s Kaeloo for ya, and I love it so much. I’m so happy I gave this episode another shot, definitely will rewatch this again sometime!
12. Grown Ups
Weird to place this one on this specific tier, but I ended up loving it more than I thought. This is where we see that Cat cares for the buddies, and they do it in a subtle way where even if he acts like his usual self, the goal of him trying to bring them back to their old selves is surprisingly sweet.
The different bad futures each of the buddies partake lead into were interesting and had a few funny gags. I mean Quack becomes a literal god, not surprising to be honest, haha.
So yeah, really loved this one, even if others might not see it, which is perfectly fine.
11. Time Travel
Hands down, one of the most underrated episodes of Kaeloo. I just love this episode for the character interactions. I mentioned before that this type of comedy is what makes the show neat, and I just loved the buddies just vibing along in their time travel shenanigans. The Bob the Duck Skewer plot does die down early, but that’s a small complaint.
Also Kaeloo’s future is kind of horrifying, I ain’t gonna spend my time there, no thanks!
This episode has a special place in my heart overall, don’t mind rewatching it when there’s a pretty sunset like what happens in this episode. Dunno, whenever I look at the sun setting from my window, I just think of this episode.
10. Driver’s Ed
The DMV sucks, and everyone knows it. I’ve seen a few shows do their own roast on how horrible that place is, so far The Looney Tunes Show. I’ve yet to watch Megas XLR, but that one clip of Coop destroying the DMV repeatedly is just hysterical. And I think Kaeloo’s take on it is also great.
You have jokes on how driver’s ed would be like to some people, from the anxiety to those kinds of teachers. Good lord was Cat ruthless to Quack this way, jeez. You root for Stumpy here, and it was nice seeing him get somewhat of a win, even if he still crashed. And again, it’s weird that he needed driving lessons here, where in the early episodes, he can learn how to drive! How does that make sense!?
Whatever, it’s a banger, really funny and enjoyable.
9. Prison Ball
Ah yes, the very first episode of Kaeloo! I can see this as a classic episode and for a good reason. It’s a great introduction to the characters and how their quirks play off here. Cat doing his usual trickery against Quack, Kae trying to keep the peace while vibing, and Stumpy thinking the prison ball game is an actual prison.
I think Red Light, Green Light is stronger, but this is still a nice first impression to start off with.
8. 1, 2, 3 Soleil!/Red Light, Green Light
Ah yes, the original Squid Game!
But yeah, I love Prison Ball, but this to me is the real introduction to this show and the characters. I find it really neat how this was a remake of the OG pilot, just improved the animation along with adding a few new jokes to add in time, like that hilarious opener with Stumpy, and Quack-Quack being happy that he’s flying for a few seconds. So far, I’ve seen shows like Regular Show played this straight, and Phineas and Ferb doing this with a unique spin by making their pilot episode a musical. That’s something I really like about this concept, letting us know that these shows have evolved over time.
Okay I’m just rambling, it’s overall a great one.
7. Market Vendors
Market Vendors is on the list of Kaeloo episodes that make me lose my mind of laughter. In case you’re wondering, that has yet to be done since most of them are too hard to rank.
So for this one, it’s just funny all around. Well, aside from the ending, which still is funny, specifically that once certain light switch gag. But in hindsight, I feel like it’s kind of awkward to laugh at sometimes regarding recent news events over related incidents.
Although, the rest of the gags are neat! Stumpy’s attempts to bring in customers was cute. And I love how Cat evolved from customer to security guard to robber, insane growth level.
6. Cowboys and Indians
Cowboys and India—wait. COWBOYS YOU SAY!?!? Okay okay, story for another time, aka Season 2 Ranking.
Okay, going in, I heard that this episode was racist. And while watching it, I was sort of confused until it got to the scenes with Stumpy as the Indian. And yeah, it was not great. But thankfully, unlike Nazi Cat, it’s not for too long and is thankfully overshadowed by the main plot.
Which, in my opinion—IS FREAKING AWESOME!
Cat is an incredible antagonist, major kudos to his VA for bringing in the menacing and badass vibes. Plus the action here is nice, and aside from the Indian scenes, the rest of the jokes are neat too.
Not sure if the Stumpy Indian scenes were like the only racist parts in the episodes, let me know if there were some I missed. But aside from those scenes, it’s goated, really loved it.
5. Prince Charming
Okay, so I’m going to put plenty of all-caps here and also a bit of swearing, so if that’s alarming to you then I am sorry but this episode and my number one spot had moments that were so incredible, that I must put my words in uppercase. Okay, here I go…
*deep breath*
HOLY FUCK IS THE FIGHT SCENE SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK
WE HAVE CAT USING A BAZOOKA AND A CHAINSAW WHILE FIGHTING QUACK-QUACK, WHO ONLY USES A SWORD AND HIS BARE FISTS.
THE WAY HOW THE FIGHT WAS CHOREOGRAPHS, IT’S SIMPLE DYNAMICS YET SO DAMN COOL.
WHY ARE THE FIGHTS THIS SEASON SO GOOD, WHAT THE HELL.
AAAAAAAAHHHHH I LOVE FIGHT SCENES SO MUCCCCCCCHHHH.
*clears throat* Okay I’m good.
Anyway yeah, it’s goated. It also has simple stuff like Stump’s misadventures within Fakebook which is also hilarious. I liked Kae as Quack’s squire and the Sphinx scenes, and Mr. Cat’s “oh yeah” face.
BUT THAT FIGHT SCENE MAN, HOLY HELL.
4. Air Pockets
Okay I have no idea why this is called Air Pockets, kind of a weird title. But with that aside, this is also a funny as hell episode. I loved the jokes regarding what’s like being in an airplane, along with some dark humor that’s shocking (like the terrorist scene for example, oof) but also admittingly hysterical, mostly with Cat being the sadistic, entertaining pilot.
And wow, first Stumpy managed to drive a car by learning from video games, and now a plane? I guess the moral is that video games can make you learn to control transportation!
(Warning: do not attempt unless it’s proven true)
3. Tea Party
Tea Party is just funny. I mean really, really, really funny.
The character-based comedy is strong here with neat conversations and running gags. You feel sorry for Kaeloo here, but also fear her the moment she finally snaps. Lesson learned: never disrupt Kae’s tea party. There shall be mighty consequences for all who oppose…
But yeah, excellent stuff!
2. Bye Bye Yogurt
I can’t believe that this episode made me feel sorry for an expired yogurt. I don’t know how it managed to do that, but here we are.
I gotta say, a few of the sequences here animated so well. From the buddies doing their typical fun, to Stumpy’s creative way of getting in danger, to the ending where Quack-Quack says goodbye to Yogo’s spirit. It was a little emotional, and how it was handled without any dialogue as the music swells was a nice touch.
Also, Mr. Cat being nice during the funeral? To cheering up Stumpy about his grandmother’s funeral to giving Quack-Quack a gift? Now that’s good stuff.
Definitely a great one. And while this one was top tier, my number one pick is even better…
NUMBER ONE!!
1. Scaredy Cat
Okay so warning, I will once again use all-caps and excessive swearing so be warned…
*deep breath*
THIS. EPISODE. ROCKS!!!!
BEST EPISODE OF THE ENTIRE DAMN SHOW, FULL STOP, NO LIE.
THE ANIMATION, HOLY FUCK, THE ANIMATION.
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SERIES STARTED OUT IN 2010, THAT IS SO IMPRESSIVE. I’M NOT A SUPER ANIMATION ANALYST BUT IT’S STILL COOL TO SEE THIS SORT OF STYLE EMMULATED SO NICELY. WHY DOES SEASON 1 HAVE SUCH GOATED ACTION AND FIGHT SCENES. I MEAN SEASON 4 PEAKED WITH THE ANIMATION, BUT THIS EPISODE? THIS WAS JUST TOP TIER.
ALSO STUMPY DANCING WITH THE ZOMBIES TO THE THRILLER PARODY, TO THE ENDING REFERENCING THE MUSIC VIDEO.
AND MR. CAT. OH MY FUCKING GOD, MR. GODDAMN CAT WAS IN HIS PEAK. HE WAS JUST AN ABSOLUTE BADASS. LIKE WE KNOW HE CAN MANAGE USING LETHAL WEAPONS, BUT IT’S MOSTLY ON QUACK-QUACK. HERE?? WE SEE HIM TAKE DOWN A HORDE OF ZOMBIE YOGURTS AND TRY TO MANHANDLE A ZOMBIFIED QUACK AND BADKA. YEAH YOU HEARD ME. BAD KAELOO. I WANNA SEE CAT FIGHT LIKE THIS AGAIN, IT’S BEEN 13 YEARS BRO, I WANNA SEE HIM DO THIS STUFF AGAIN.
IT'S JUST PEAK. SIMPLY PEAK. BEST EPISODE OF SEASON ONE BY FAR, I LOVE IT SO MUCH AAAAAAHHHH.
……okay that was a lot of uppercasing.
Final Thoughts
Kaeloo Season 1 isn’t my favorite season of the show. It’s by no means a bad season, far from it! It’s still a good season overall, but it’s one where I don’t have complete hype for compared to the other seasons.
Season 1 had some really good humor, character moments, and some impressive animation. But I thought it suffered a bit from having a couple of plots that didn’t invested me, some jokes that I didn’t laughed at or didn’t aged well, or not every character bit winning me over. That’s probably in part due to the number of episodes that were just mediocre. Only 2 episodes were bad and only 16 episodes where mid. That may seem a bit disappointing, but I’m completely fine with it! I’m thankful things didn’t end up worse. I much rather have a sea of mid than a sea of garbage. And at least said sea of mid is still tolerable to watch!
On the bright side, the episodes that I thought were great, are still great. It honestly wasn’t annoying to try and yearn for the best parts when watching Season 1 in order. Maybe slightly boring, I will admit, but the binge was still worth it.
So to conclude, Kaeloo Season 1 may be a bit rocky, but I still think this season is really darn good. Bunch of classic episodes to be rewatched here, won’t mind doing so sometime.
SCORECARD:
BAD EPISODES: 2
OKAY EPISODES: 16
GOOD EPISODES: 7
GREAT EPISODES: 12
AWESOME EPISODES: 15
EPISODES RANGED FROM BAD-OKAY: 18
EPISODES RANGED FROM GOOD-AWESOME: 34
ALL EPISODES IN TOTAL: 52
SEASON 1 RANKING: 8/10
Now here's the tier list in it's entirety!
Well would you look at that, lots of okay ones but lots of favorable ones! What a good way to start this ranking marathon!
Now join me sometime in March where I shall get through…Season 2…oh boy, this season…
#kaeloo#my review#season review#episode ranking#mod house#christ this was long again so sorry for the delay!#i will hope to improve my rankings by season 2 i loved this but man it's almost sloppy oof#i really like reviewing but sometimes putting my thoughts together critically can be hard ack
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