#this one is going to be an emotional one folks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dtmsrpfcringe · 23 hours

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As someone who's nonbinary, the thing that made me leave, the last straw, was this blog's response to David Tennant and Georgia Tennant's awareness and shown methods of support when it comes to trans and nonbinary rights, once one of their kids started to use they/them pronouns.

Georgia, as any parents should in this situation, started using they/them pronouns when talking about her child. She also got passionate about the subject at hand, did not only continue to show general support for the LGBTQ+ community over social media, but specifically informed about trans rights and nonbinary people, was loud and proud and adamant in sharing posts and sources, still is. That's her child. You can tell how fiercly protective she is.

The response of this David/Michael blog and the followers was that they just hope that Georgia is being genuine. That they just hope that George isn't exploiting her child. That this could go backwards, should her child change their mind. That they hope Georgia isn't pushing her child into a direction, because of how much attention she's drawing to them, because they're so young, are they sure they know who they are? And hopefully, her support isn't just for the views.

Yeah. I don't think I need to explain to you how problematic that dislike of Georgia disguised as concern for Wilfred was, but I explained it to that blog. I used my own experience of gender identity and support I wish I would have gotten, when I was young, as an example, and I was super friendly, not even on anon. The ask never got answered.

Then David started to wear the nb-pin, started speaking about supporting nonbinary folks, and you know what the response of the woman behind the blog was then? Still is? It's so nice to see David getting so emotional over trans rights and queer identity. He's officially wearing the pin for Wilfred, yes, but one can't help but think that he's actually also wearing it for himself.

Needless to say, I lost it a little. 😅

ALL OF THIS RIGHT HERE!! ALL OF IT! They will throw shade at her loving her child. One of them called it white woman activism and then praised David in the same sentence.

they also used the fact that apparently she was a producer on a "lesbophobic" movie (as a lesbian I never thought it was lesbophobic and nobody else has really thought so either) as a reason to minimise her support and love for the LGBTQ community, while David was a lead actor in that movie but we'll just keep quiet on that one right?

I'm sorry you had to deal with that anon, these people are ridiculous.

#david tennant #michael sheen #anna lundberg #good omens #doctor who #rpf #staged #georgia tennant #🌞nova #sheenant

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nocturneblight · 2 days

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“Mental moods of that silly jackal”

Grooving on through with the multiple styles of faces, Can you tell which is my favorite?

Been playing around with styles and emotions for faces and whatnot, getting out all the fave Pokémon drawings too with that, I’ve been contemplating on altering my art style somehow, maybe something more simple or cartoonic, something that would remind me of the 2000s era, I do like my current art style but… phew, I’m quite envious of those other artist that have a style to call their own, I doubt mines really a rare one. Sometimes I could just tell an artist based off how they drew they’re lines and or other features like the eyes or hair, I don’t really see that in my own oddly enough, I’m sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder but yeah. Just something I’ve been thinking about.

Anyways! Great day to all of you! Remember, Don’t ever judge others based on their race, gender, or other characteristics. What makes a human is their personality! Right and wrong! Good and evil! That’s what defines every single one of us! Yesterday, some folk I hanged around were judging people based on their gender, using phrases and stereotypes to crack jokes like they were truth to their fellows. I could not be anymore disgusted, going so nonchalantly about their day like speaking such filth is a normality is terrible, But instead of holding it as a grudge or demanding justice. I’ve chosen to forgive and forget, knowing I, myself, ain’t perfect. Although I will use their actions as an example, And so I say this: Be better, don’t fall into that foolish pattern of treating other humans like they’re all the same. They never will be, look into others for who they really are. Focus on what makes them themselves. You’ll never learn a thing you think you know.

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nhlclover · 3 days

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she's everything sparks fly au

✭ — summary: luca confronts rutger about sofia, learning about his true feelings for her.

✭ — warnings: swearing, luca lowkey bullying rutger but he deserves it

✭ — a/n: so i planned this completely forgetting that rutger would've gone to world juniors so pretend that he doesn't in this au...

✭ — word count: 1.06k

Bittersweet goodbyes had passed as Julia and Giuliano had dropped their two kids off at the airport for their flight headed to Michigan. Sofia had always been an easy flier, motion sickness or fear of turbulence not being something that affected her, but she couldn’t help but be filled with nausea and dread as they departed Toronto and landed in Ann Arbor.

Luca headed back to the sophomore house after dropping Sofia off at her dorm and having received direct instructions to not bring up anything they’d spoken about during New Year's Eve to Rutger. Luca agreed to his sister's orders but on his way over, decided he was by no means going to abide by his promise.

Luca dropped his bags in his room, heading down the hall to Rutger’s room, hoping he had beaten him to Michigan. Luca knocked on the slightly ajar door of Rutger's room, pushing it open as he heard a muffled "Come in."

"Hey man," Luca greeted, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. Rutger was sprawled on his bed, staring at his phone with a frown. He looked up, his expression softening into a smile when he saw Luca.

"Luca, what’s up bud? How was your break?" Rutger asked, sitting up and setting his phone aside.

"It was good. Spent most of it with the family, you know how it is," Luca replied, taking a seat at the desk chair. "How about you? What did you get up to?"

Rutger shrugged. "Same old, same old. Just relaxed, saw some friends, hung out with the folks. Nothing too exciting."

Luca nodded, the conversation starting off innocent and casual. They chatted for a few more minutes, the usual back-and-forth about holiday meals, New Year's resolutions, and Luca updating Rutger on Adam and his time in Columbus. But Luca had a purpose for this visit, and he knew he couldn't dance around it forever.

When the conversation hit a lull, Luca took a deep breath and decided to cut to the chase. "So, I heard about what happened between you and Sofia."

Rutger's face instantly fell, a mixture of guilt and anxiety clouding his features. "She told you?"

“Yeah,” Luca nodded. “And don’t bother lying, she told me pretty much everything. I just want to hear your side of it.”

Rutger swallowed hard, looking down at his hands. "How is she?" he asked quietly.

"Pretty fucking terrible," Luca answered bluntly. "She was really hurt, man."

Rutger's shoulders slumped, and he ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to hurt her. The thought of her being upset over me is killing me. I swear, Luca, I never wanted any of this."

“Then what the hell happened?" Luca pressed, his tone softening just a bit.

Rutger’s mouth opened then shut repeatedly as he tried to come up with his words. "I… I do have feelings for her, okay? I have for a while. But I couldn't admit it, not to her and not to myself. She's your sister, man. I mean if we did date and something happened then I would end up losing both Sof and you ‘n Adam in one fell swoop. So I figured it was better to lose one than lose all. So I pushed her away. But in doing that, I ended up hurting her even more. And I swear I never meant-”

“Woah, woah, woah.” Luca interrupted, processing Rutger’s confession. “Are you saying you have feelings for Sofia?”

Rutger nodded reluctantly. "Y-yeah, I do."

“Fucking Christ, why didn’t you just say so?” Luca asked, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

Rutger sighed, the weight of his emotions bearing down on him. "I don't know, Luca. I was scared. Scared of screwing things up, scared of what you'd think, scared of everything, I guess."

On one hand, Luca felt bad for his friend, who was clearly torn and vulnerable. On the other hand, the sight of his sister crying for days on end was etched in his mind. Luca couldn’t help but let the protective brother in him come out momentarily, giving Rutger a piece of his mind.

"You know, Sofia deserves better than this cowardly bullshit. She's been nothing but honest with you, and you repay her by pushing her away and leaving her in the dark?" Luca said.

"I know," Rutger admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know I messed up. But I didn’t mean to be a dick, Luca. I was just… I was confused and terrified. You and Adam are like brothers to me, and Sofia, she's… she's everything. I didn't want to risk losing all of you."

Luca let out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head. "Well, congratulations, Rutger. You managed to hurt her and piss me off all at the same time."

"I want to make it right," Rutger said, desperation creeping into his tone. "I don't know how, but I want to fix this. I can't stand the thought of her being hurt because of me."

Luca narrowed his eyes, a sigh slipping out. “So what are you gonna do about it?”

Rutger’s head shot up, furrowing his brows at Luca. “W-what?”

“How are you gonna make this better?” Luca reiterated.

“Are you seriously okay with me asking Sofia out?” Rutger asked, confirming that he was hearing his friend correctly. “I mean what about your ‘don’t even look at Sofia’ rule?”

Luca couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I tell the guys not to look at her like that, 'cause she’s my baby sister. But dude, you’re one of my best friends, I trust you.”

Rutger's eyes widened in surprise. "You… you do?"

"Yeah," Luca said firmly. "I trust you. And I think Sofia does too, or at least she did before all this mess."

Rutger looked down, realizing how badly he had messed up. "But she won't speak to me after everything that happened."

Luca stood up, walking to Rutger’s side. "I'll get her to talk to you. Just… don't screw it up this time, okay?"

Rutger nodded, gratitude and hope shining in his eyes. "I won't. I promise."

Luca clapped him on the shoulder, a small smile playing on his lips. "Good. Now, let's grab some dinner. We've got a plan to figure out." Luca said. “But you’re paying 'cause you were a dick to my baby sister.”

#sparks fly au!#sofia x rutger #rutger mcgroarty

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sidekick-hero · 3 days

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20 questions for writers

I was tagged by some amazing fellow writers, thank you so so much @puppy-steve, @corrodedbisexual, @steviewashere and @just-my-latest-hyperfixation 💜💜💜 (once again late to this because I'm still sick and feeling crummy)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 167, 83 of these in the Stranger Things Fandom (my current one).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

593,064 (holy shit)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently exclusively Stranger Things, the brainrot is still going strong.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Emotional Motion Sickness

You know I'm a show off (I would let you get some)

Louder

we tangle endlessly like lovers entwined

I’m tired of asking to settle the debt

5. Do you respond to comments?

I really, really try! I want to answer to all of them because every single comment means so much to me. But I'm also at around 500 unanswered notifs on AO3 (not all are comments, some are replies on my comments) and it may take a while to catch up 🫣

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ufff, pretty sure that's we pass the ghosts that haunt us later. The ending is ambiguous, but was angsty enough that @legitcookie demanded it to be fixed...

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

... which led to us co-writing the next part I wore his jacket for the longest time with a happy ending that to me at least feels like the most satisfying happy endings of all of my fics.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I haven't, my experience with fandom has been entirely positive and wonderful 💜

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Juuuuup. Love it. I think most of my fics are rated explicit. I had a phase in which I mostly wrote pwps, trying my hand on more comedy and romance but I feel like writing smut might be my calling 😂

10. Do you write crossovers?

I wrote one, a crossover between Stranger Things and Fargo S5. It's a metaldeputy fic (Gator Tillman and Eddie Munson) called caught in the careless arms of lust again

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of at least.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, two have been translated to Russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! With @legitcookie and with @yournowheregirl, and it's amazing. I loved it and would definitely do it again.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I think steddie, it just really scratches an itch I didn't even know I had.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Uffff, good question. I would never say never tbh. And I don't have many WIPs. Maybe the Time Travel threesome fic (Eddie/Eddie/Steve) I started with Jen. Still loving the idea but not sure when I'll be able to get back to that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut, I think? And a few people told me I'm good at vivid descriptions.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Long sentences. Dialogue. As stupid as it sounds, plot? Like, world building and coming up with a complex plot.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

So fucking hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Queer as Folk, wayyyy back in the day.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Oh man, that's a hard one, I love all of my fics. I think from my multi-chapter fics I have to say I wore his jacket for the longest time, especially because of how much I loved writing it but also because I love me a good character growth and second chances fic. And of my one-shots I have a soft spot for to the rhythm of eternity (my love letter to my favorite city) and Take your time (I wanna cross some lines) (a pwp I spend AGES on writing).

I have no idea who has been tagged already so if you've been tagged please forgive me and link me to your answers 💜

@runninriot, @hbyrde36, @acasualcrossfade, @judasofsuburbia, @pearynice,

@shares-a-vest

#steddie #my writing #tag game

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anthemofgvf · 10 months

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i finished part six of BCD! expect it out very shortly today…

#this one is going to be an emotional one folks #strap in!#behind closed doors fic #behind closed doors #behind closed doors fanfic #jake kiszka #jake kiszka fic #greta van fleet #josh kiszka #danny wagner #danny gvf #sam kiszka #jake gvf #josh gvf #sammy kiszka #sam gvf

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bacchuschucklefuck · 11 days

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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

#not art #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit #kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it #until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it #until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her #but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs #she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying #probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone #lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear #Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked #but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now #yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc #man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet #and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out #lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help #it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around #but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever #its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous #its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot #yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry #doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it #ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking

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misslisamiray · 9 days

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Gonna write a longer post about this when I have more time, but I just need to put this out there: I love my Rick and Morty Tumblr mutuals/people I interact with regularly so much. ❤️

I am not joking or exaggerating when I say I didn't know it was possible to be this active in a fandom and also this happy. I've only really been active in the fandom for the past 6 months, and it's been SUCH an overwhelmingly positive experience.

I've been meaning to make a post like this for a while, but two recent things really drove home how much I appreciate you folks: First, I had A Week That Felt Like a Year of Sailor Moon Twitter making me miss being 12 & not knowing anyone else who watches the show. Then, yesterday I opened Tumblr to be greeted by a post that brought up one of the reasons why, after 20+ years, Cowboy Bebop is still my number 1 "I love this show and it means so much to me, but this fandom frequently makes me want to hit my head on walls" series.

Obviously I know there's no shortage of issues in this fandom, too. I mean, there's typically an assortment of them on display in the comments of any post on the official RaM accounts. 😅 And I'm not saying I haven't met some really nice, cool people in my fandoms I've been in forever - I definitely have!!!!!

But this feeling of... Community? Home? This is new territory for me. And it took me longer than it should have to get here, but I'm so glad I did.

I have already rambled longer than I intended to, so now I'm going to attempt to wrap this up by tagging some of the folks who inspired this post.

@rickteacakes @thesoftboiledegg @hazelnut-u-out @dimensionduo @ajaynetic @fandomwe1rd0 @joycew-blog

#rambling #my thoughts #text post #yes this is the SHORT version of this post #the one with LESS crying #at some point there's going to be a longer more detailed version of this #rick and morty fandom #references to drama in other fandoms #is this anything #i'm taking “being emotional about the funny pickle man show” to new levels over here #but the short time I've been active in this fandom has been so special #i will probably tag more people in this later #but if anyone wants to be un-tagged please just let me know #i love being in this fandom with you folks #and the fact that we're finding each other on twitter & insta now is great too!

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angeart · 14 days

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hhau rescue rambles - part II

>> part I here // hhau masterpost here <<

The hermits are here to take Scar home but Grian is gone and Scar can’t leave without him, even if the others would promise to look for him. (They won’t find him, they won’t, they won’t. Scar knows how vast these forests are. He knows how many hiding spots there are tucked away if one knows where to look.) (They don’t know where to look.)

They’re not listening to him. He’s half-feral and panicked and desperate, barely making any sense. He keeps saying he needs to find Grian, but he looks half-crazed, clothes stained by a huge amount of blood and—

If it looks, a little bit, like he’s just in frenzied denial of some grief? That maybe something happened and Grian isn’t here anymore? The world is permadeath, after all. The rescue party isn’t sure what to think.

Of course they promise to look for Grian. Of course they’ll try. But first, let’s get you somewhere safe, Scar.

Scar panics and backs away and says he isn’t going anywhere until they find Grian. He’s so so afraid they’ll take him away and he’ll never find him. (He keeps imagining that wretched scream he heard that very first day he found Grian, a year ago. How close of a call that was.) (He thinks of finding him after the mimic incident, barely surviving. Wounded and bloodied and ready to collapse.) (He thinks of Grian sobbing as he begs Scar to never leave him again.)

He can’t leave him behind. He can’t.

He won’t.

He’s done everything he can up to this point and if this is his last fight? Then damn it, he’s going to go out swinging. He is going to find Grian. Even if he has to fight his saviours. (They’re enemies if they’re trying to separate him and Grian—)

He growls and lashes out and his vex magic comes through. The hermits are stunned and a little bit afraid and a whole lot confused. They’ve never seen him like this, hair white and claws ready to tear. (Cub, especially, is terrified of this development. Knowing that if Scar pushes himself too far in his vex form, he could die.)

They try to placate him, calm him down, reassure him. They try to get the damn teleportation bracelet on him. They keep telling him they can take him home, it’s okay, Scar, it’s okay.

It’s not okay.

He isn’t leaving without Grian, and he isn’t trusting anyone else with this.

So he runs.

He runs from his friends—from people he loves with all his heart; people he thought he’ll never see again. Runs from the promise of home and safety and this hell being finally over.

He runs, because he can’t take the salvation if he can’t share it with Grian.

Everything’s a bit of a blur as he rushes through the forest, looking for something to tell him where Grian is. He’s fully in his vex form, senses sharp and heart panicked, calling out, desperate for Grian to reply.

There’s no answer.

Scar sees it, then: a handful of ripped-out feathers and blood.

His heart jumps into his throat, but he laser-focuses and starts following the trail. The world feels askew around him, his steps urgent, his breaths hovering near growls that want to threaten the whole forest if anything dares to hurt Grian more. (He hopes Grian’s still out there.) (He has to be. He has to be—) (Why is he not replying to Scar’s calls, then?)

Scar’s aware that if he can follow the trail of blood, so can others. He needs to be better than them. Faster. (He needs to be a better hunter than them.) He knows that if he’s following the trail now, maybe someone already followed it. (He tries not to let that thought in. That he might be too late.)

He’s trailed by the hermit rescue party. They scramble in his wake, trying not to lose him. They lag behind, losing sight of him, but Cub staggers to follow his vex bond with Scar, like a tether, trying to hold down the swell of warning anxiety at the fact that Scar is in his vex form. Scar looks feral, he lashed out and ran from them, clothes stained by blood and hair white—

Them following just makes Scar feel hunted. His instincts go haywire and put him more on edge.

He keeps going.

He keeps calling out, too. Uncaring that he’s attracting every hunter in the vicinity. He can take them. He will happily attract them to himself if that means they won’t go after Grian instead. (The fact that he’s searching for Grian gets a bit tangled up in him. The fact that if he succeeds, he’ll just be bringing the hunters to Grian fails to quite register. He’s not thinking very straight.)

Hermits hear those wails, echoing through the forest. He sounds like a wandering spirit.

Inhuman.

Lost.

Grian is hurt. Hand pressed against the spot on his side that bleeds, he sits curled up, pressing himself into some bushes for a moment of reprieve—just a moment, just a little bit, please, please.

He hears Scar’s calls from far away. He hears them, and his heart tears itself to pieces.

He is terrified and hurting, and it feels dangerously close to a despair-filled memory.

He tries to shield himself from it. There’s a reason he ran. There’s a reason why Scar should stay away from him. He can’t— He shouldn’t— He—

Scar draws closer. Grian can hear his sobbing and heaving. His pleading, so heartrendingly desperate. “Grian please. Grian answer me.”

Grian finds himself cautiously standing up, every muscle taut. His heart is rabbity fast, fear clogging his throat.

He doesn’t mean to answer. He really, really doesn’t mean to. (He needs to keep Scar away.) Yet a distressed chirp slips through anyway, like a terrified call, begging for Scar.

The sound of it pitches something in Scar. His sobbing changes to panic and dwindling hopefulness. “Grian…?”

There’s a tinier chirp then. Scared. Still involuntary.

Grian is so so afraid and he should know better, but a part of him is desperate for Scar.

The moment he sees Scar, though, the futility rips through him. No. He isn’t meant to— Scar shouldn’t be near him. Because Grian’s been gone so shortly and yet the hunters have already found him. He’s already gotten hurt. He is a beacon.

He can’t stay near Scar. It’ll get Scar hurt.

It’ll get Scar killed.

(Everything good that stays near Grian dies—)

He needs to get away from him.

He backs away. Tells Scar, in a wobbly voice, not to approach.

Scar doesn’t care. He needs to get to Grian. He needs to get to him, they can go home, this can all be over.

Running on some faulty reasoning, Grian tries to get away. It’s useless, he is in no state to outrun Scar—he can’t bring himself to fly and he’s bleeding, dizzy on panic—but he feels like he needs to try, anyway.

His feet feel heavy beneath him, the world unsteady. Scar is behind him and Grian’s heart begs him to stop, turn around, and burrow into his arms. (He can’t he can’t he can’t—)

It takes only a couple of steps for Grian to trip over some roots, the world as cruel to him as ever, sending him plummeting harshly down in a rough tumble of leaves and limbs and feathers. A pained, fearful yelp gets punched out of him on impact.

Scar’s next to him in an instant, kneeling down and gathering him in his arms. Crying as he buries Grian in a hug, terrified he might try to run again. Frantically telling him, “Grian, it’s over, it’s over, we can go home— Please—”

Grian’s sobbing against him, held in place, unable to understand what Scar is saying. He just wants Scar to get away from him and stay safe. (Grian can’t be safe. He’s been doomed from the start. He’s been doomed this whole time.) (He’ll end up like that bird. Dead, with wings ripped off—)

The words “it’s over” mean nothing to him. All he manages to choke out is, “There is no— There’s no home anymore.” They’ve had their safety ripped away from them over and over again. They’ve been showed that they can’t have a home anymore; this world will not allow it. Nowhere is safe. Nowhere is safe, as long as Grian’s wings are bright violet and attached to his spine.

Scar insists, a series of reassurances, words tripping over each other as he tries to keep his hold on his voice. He says they’ll be okay. He says they don’t have to run anymore. Please, Grian, we can go home.

But it’s not a concept that exists anymore for Grian; it refuses to register in his mind, words sliding right off him, incoherent.

What he knows is this: he failed to protect Scar, and they don’t have a home to go back to, and Grian is sure the hunters are about to show up, any second. He’s so tired and terrified, and he needs Scar to be shielded from this fate. He needs him to be safe.

Scar isn’t letting go of him. His grip is firm as he continues to plead with Grian. He doesn’t want to be rough, he’s never been forceful with Grian, but he can’t let go now. Even as Grian paws at him and tries to push him away.

Grian’s crying so hard; his efforts to get free are all frantic and urgent, yet half-hearted. (He wants to give in and bury himself in the protectiveness of Scar’s arms.) (He wants all of Scar’s promises to be true.)

And yet something tips askew.

Because Scar’s never been forceful with Grian.

He was always so gentle. He’d never grab him like this, with so much force. So much insistence.

Grian is hit with a dizzying, nauseating thought. Is this a trap? Is this a mimic?

Grian starts chirping. More of those distressed, scared noises as he can't get free of Scar's grip.

It’s the first time ever that Scar won’t heed Grian’s requests to be let go. Not even if Grian says it hurts. He won’t let go he won’t he won’t. He’ll drag him home if he has to.

Grian’s scared and confused, all his thoughts are jumbled, running on rampant trauma responses and unadulterated panic. He can’t deal with any of this. He keeps trying to wrangle free and push Scar away (is it even Scar???), begging him to let go, but it’s so horribly weak. It’s almost nothing. He just chokes on sobs and hyperventilates. (He feels caught.) (He feels like Scar will get killed because of him.) (He doesn’t know what’s happening.)

It’s awful. It’s wrong. It’s— It’s not what it’s meant to be.

This should be easy. This should be the best day ever! They can go home!

Instead, it’s like a panicked final showdown and Scar feels like it’s him against everyone. The hermits weren’t listening to him (Grian needs him, he needs him, he needs him), and now Grian isn’t listening to him either. (He can’t comprehend what Scar’s saying at all, and isn’t that so heartbreaking?) (Scar is desperate to get through to him. To calm him down enough so that this could be anything more than Scar forcefully holding him as Grian chokes on panic.) (The kind of panic he should never feel in Scar’s arms—)

Voice breaking, Scar pleads, over and over again. Please, Grian. Please. It’s okay. It’s okay, we can go home, we’ll be alright. It’s me. It’s me, I got you, we’re gonna be safe.

It’s the kiss he presses to Grian’s hair that tips the scales a little, just enough for Grian’s chirps to mute, his sobbing drifting off into softer cries. He goes limp under the affection, still terrified, still trembling and choking on air, but now he’s pressing himself against Scar instead of trying to get free.

“G, do you understand what I’m saying?” Scar begs in a wavering voice, unbecoming of his feral appearance. He holds onto the magic prickling along his skin, alert for any sort of danger, anything that so much as tries to approach and hurt Grian. His hands are still clawed. His hair is still white. His veins are still stuffed with unending desperation.

Nothing is over yet.

It should be. It should be, but it isn’t.

Not yet, not yet.

The hunters find them before the hermits do.

[—TBC—]

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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months

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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even #though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism #2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them #3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have #encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in #nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally #about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces #and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided #tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla #6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl #i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this #nyarla dni #<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks

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chiropteracupola · 9 months

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sing me silence, my soldier / sing us gently into death...

#em draws stuff #em is posting about sharpe #sharpe #daniel hagman #rifleman harris #once again I've drawn something where the pose is borrowed off archaeological excavation photos - this one is the lovers of modena #to make a long story short I got real sad and wanted to draw them a bit more of a goodbye. a quiet moment and a gift to see them off.#see the previous post in my sharpe-watching tag for a longer thought-scramble to go with this thing #reached the end of the drawing process and had to ask 'why does this feel familiar' before remembering the emotional experience I had #some years ago while reading 'the apparitionists' and also the formative time that was ken burns' the civil war... anyway. that aside.#this was going to be printed out for dorm decor but I think I could not look at this every day it would be far too much #I could have had my pick of appropriate folk songs for the caption lyrics but no this is a modified version of something from seawife #o'er the hills and o'er the main through flanders portugal and spain. y'know. y'know.

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sparring-spirals · 2 years

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While we're on the subject of pre episode 28 intraparty apologies, three cheers to one of my favorite early M9 scenes, the Beau/Caleb coached apology, which includes the highlights of:

- *Guest PC suspicicion (haaaa)

- An in character argument dicey enough that it got its own fandom name (Bowlgate was really something)

- Socially inept monk taking socializing lessons from a half orc (who happens to be using a fake accent and is bluffing So Hard All The Time, but its fine don't worry about it). She's learning how to people!!! Its going- okay. Its going okay. Shes doing her best!

- Socially inept wizard just so full of guilt and trauma, taking social cues from Extremely Awkward And Introverted Barbarian, who is ALSO full of guilt and trauma. They bonded while she shaved him with her sword. They both look up to each other for socializing tips.

- The scene itself being an overwhelmingly awkward apology in which said monk struggles out a (very sincere) apology to the wizard, they stare at each other for forty seconds, monk keeps asking the half orc if they're doing fine or not. In lieu of a verbal answer the wizard pulls the monk into the most awkward hug known to man. It lasts way too long. "I don't know what I'm doing, just go with it."

- Both the wizard and the monk looking over their shoulders at their respective teachers on How To Hug

- Both teachers pantomiming proper hug procedures for their pupils

- They're not doing great but they're doing their best.

- Everyone else in the party politely applauds when they release

- This includes the kenku child the party is carting around with them at the time.

- "Welcome to the Mighty Nein!" indeed.

- Ah, I miss them.

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dont-offend-the-bees · 4 days

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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

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monkee-mobile · 14 days

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it’s the 90s in my monkee universe where davy lost his mom young like he did irl and they are watching the land before time because, yknow it seemed like a cool newer movie and peter LOVES don bluth films so they happened to pick it up from a video store after it left theaters so they’re all at home on the couch snuggled up and then they get to the scene where the sharp tooth attacks and mike sees it coming and has a hand on davys arm immediately and sure enough theres a dying mother scene.

davy stiffens a bit but says he’s fine and so mike squeezes davys hand a bit but then eventually davy starts to sniffle and mikes like “okay that’s it micky pause it.” and despite it having been so many years since his mom passed and him having been so young at the time, something still hits davy, especially seeing a kid in denial that his mom is going away because he just assumed she’d always be there!

but davy is determined to push past most of his babyish ways of the past so he keeps assuring mike (who is holding his face and looking into his eyes) that he’s fine between breaths. but mike is in full mumma mode because davy became his baby forever and always, and they turn the film back on and it’s all fine but mike holds davy extra tight and snuggles up to him throughout the rest of the watch and davy can’t help but push himself into mike and cling onto his shirt because mike is there for him and he does love him so much.

#the monkees #mike nesmith #davy jones #peter tork #micky dolenz #mumma mike #this is something i don’t know if ive ever actually typed out but i got randomly into the land before time a while ago and thought of this #davybaby #or… post davybaby i suppose?#in this they’re older cause it’s the 90s and after his father passed in 72 davy started regressing real hard #(mostly after one really lonely trip to england to help with his father)#(he had some panic attacks because suddenly he was thrust back into evrything he left and called mike in the middle of the night freaking #out because he felt all alone and mike promised he’d never #have davy go to england alone and that he’d stay with him next time)#so throughout a lot of the 70s davy is on and off baby mode pretty hard #and at some point in the 80s he decides to try to stop it and goes all stoic and NOT little #but mike is now so attached to his little one and davy… despite trying to act like he’s not… is so attached to mike #and mike wants davy to be able to do what he wants but is also conflicted because it’s definitely not good for davy to ignore his emotions #which the guys usually helped him process through regressing #they all figure it out don’t worry it’s just hard for davy but he’s got his friends. they’ve all got each other and they love each other so #so much #and davy gets so many snuggles and hugs and kisses don’t you worry #okay goodnight folks i’m sorry for the lil davy rants

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