#this kinda of humanization can be seen as disrespectful to a certain extent but it is what makes these figures more engaging as characters
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I was reading The Monkey King's Daughter (you can read the whole book for an hour) and apparently the protagonist is also Guanyin's grandchild? Can Guanyin be shipped?
I mean I can’t say like what are like the moral implications of shipping GuanYin itself cause that is so not my place but I’m still going to answer this cause it kinda of interesting when it comes to modern media. First off saying that like I have never really seen romance done with GuanYin. At least in a serious way. But if I had to take a guess it can be seen as 'possible' as much as like shipping anyone in Chinese mythos, in that isn't really taken seriously at all. In a lot of modern fan spaces there are a variety of crack ships for more humorous or hypothetical situations like I have seen literally the Star of Venus shipped with Jade Emperor just cause. But I don't see much with buddhas or bodhisattvas in either post-modern media nor in fan spaces. At least that isn't Wukong or Sanzang since they are both Buddhas. And I have done a whole thing about how Wukong for decades wasn’t seen as a romantic figure until like there was a huge character reconstruction, but that isn’t usually the case for most characters.
I would say that the most mainstream instance I can think off the top of my head is The Lost Empire (2001) where it had the main character has a romantic plot with Gaunyin herself. Of course, that wasn't really a masterpiece within itself but this was considered like a 'bad choice' more so that it was just a very strange and awkward romance at that.
Funny enough I think I see more romantic for humor's sake on Guanyin in comic books or games as likes gags at most. Like in Westward comics (later a tv series) Guanyin has a celestial-turned-demon trying to pursue him that he always rejects. Another is more play for laughs but Guanyin in the Fei Ren Zai where people just don't know it's Guanyin and think she is so attractive.
I've seen some games that have Guanyin as like a pretty boy/girl but otherwise nothing even close to a romance plot. Those are more just for like aesthetics of making every character look overly attractive to sell it.
The best I can say is that is just kinda strange and a little strange personally but I can't say that it can be taken seriously. I mean Wukong is supposed to be a Buddha by the end of the novel, so if The Monkey King's Daughter has it that a buddha can have a daughter then there wouldn't be anything stopping the author from having a bodhisattva having kids.
#anon ask#anonymous#anon#ask#sun wukong#monkey king#guanyin#chinese mythos#monkey king's daughter#Wukong is pretty self contained within Xiyouji himself so asking for a little bit of suspension of disbelief can be understood#but Gaunyin has a much longer history that is far more embedded with Buddhist mythology#She isn’t just a character in Xiyouji#and it would be limiting to her just to make it so#but I do think that might be the case in some media when it comes to portraying Gaunyin#esp since most modern interpretations of Guanyin are from xiyouji material just cause the sheer amount of xiyouji content there is#I rarely see Guanyin stand alone moves/shows and there are some trust me but most of her portrayals are within xiyouji spaces#there is a lot of conversation about xiyouji either being a reconstruction or a deconstruction of religion#and while the book is SATURATED in allegorical meaning whether in taoism buddhism or chinese lore it is also seen as satire of religion#people can take xiyouji as pointing out the flaws in humanity but also the flaws of heaven as well as it humanizes both gods and buddhas#this kinda of humanization can be seen as disrespectful to a certain extent but it is what makes these figures more engaging as characters#from a writing standpoint at least#this is me just rambling now about the interesting dycotomy that xiyouji has and has had with religion and how that can be see as today#to a certain extent a lot of directors take xiyouji plots as also their own way to show the heavens in their own way to convey satire#or humor as well depending on what their direction is aiming for#Some even go so far to make that heaven is just straight up the bad guy and that includes buddha as well which is a FAR more wild take than#just having romance in the heavens#But xiyouji does have it that we see these mythological figures have flaws#that heaven can lie or trick or they can take bribes and its up to the audience to interpretation as either satire or if it is critiquing#perhaps religion itself or rather the religious institutions since we do see both daoist and buddist monks as antagonists in the book#this as nothing to do with the ask at this point but i just wanna say my thoughts
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Probably a very unpopular opinion but Derek in season 5 and 6 is just...not my favorite lol like they make so many character decisions for him that just don't make sense. He's kinda mad all the time and he just isn't the same. I also really don't like that he uses foyet to question hotch all the time. I get he's worried, he did the same thing with Gideon when he came back with ptsd in the first season, but some of the ways he brings it up are just sort of...insensitive? Unfair? You haven't gotten their yet but later he kind of uses and throws it in hotchs face to get what he wants with unsubs and stuff ("when you needed us we were there for you, this ones mine")
Idk I think I just hate the way the whole team handles hotch with foyet. I get their uncomfortable but like... the way they casually bring up suicide around him, Reid and Garcia gossiping, Rossi handing him a gun too like ugghh I don't like any of their behavior not just derek... at least he offers to help with paperwork so hotch can spend time with his half orphaned son lmfao but honestly other than that they don't do a whole lot to make his situation better. And again I'm sure they tried their best and didn't know what to do a lot of the time because he's so private, but like, don't make it worse lol
yeah the way that they handle the whole thing is.... interesting
i agree ab the poor characterization of derek this season. it feels like they change his personality just so they can have him interact with hotch a certain way? like.. it makes sense for morgan to be worried about hotch. the restless concern he has in haunted seems very appropriate for such a protective guy who was unable to keep his family safe and doesn't want to disrespect him by hovering outright. that makes sense to me. even questioning his actions.. like you said, it's what he did with gideon in season one
but they take it a little too far? there are certain things that seem fair for morgan to call hotch out on, but there are others where it's like.. clearly this is morgan's issue, not anything to do with hotch. between everything he's been going through plus the bureau coming down on him, morgan challenging every little thing hotch does is just kicking him while he's down. they--morgan specifically--put so much emphasis on how they've "got his back" but at the same time they're questioning every decision and doubting his leadership, whether it's warranted or not. it's just a weird contradiction that i dont think is written well
to an extent i actually kinda like the poor way the team handles the whole ordeal. this is their great, infallible leader brought low in a way they've never seen. they haven't seen this frail, human side of him that often--he hasn't let them--and certainly not to this extent. they're not sure what to do, they're not sure how to handle it. reid and garcia gossip about it bc they don't know how to talk to him directly about it, or if they're allowed to at all. rossi keeps on with his "tough love" kind of sympathy where the most he'll give is a pat on the back and a "you'll get through this"
its almost easier for them in the aftermath of 100, because things are almost back to normal: they're not holding their breaths anymore, waiting for the penny to drop. so i think its easier for them to step in and lend support (or at least they feel less guilty going back to ignoring their boss's emotional state now that its all over). i love that morgan offers to continue doing paperwork to help out.. its very fitting for him. its a direct action that he can take, a burden he can bare, that doesn't challenge hotch's authority or capabilities. it's just.. lending a helping hand. i like to think the others help out too: jj and reid offering to babysit, penelope coming over and taking them on adventures, emily and rossi being there if hotch ever needs a distraction.
i think it's interesting the ways that the foyet ordeal will be brought up by the others later. and honestly... aksjdhlg as fucked up as it is, i kinda like it? i think it suits well with their characters, especially since its usually under duress. they're not at their best, and hotch makes an easy target for their frustrations since he has that stoic demeanor
morgan's pretty much the only one to explicitly bring it up, and it's almost always to get something he wants, like in darkest night or the ep where savannah gets shot. i don't think he means it to be rude or insensitive; it's only ever when morgan's so worked up about something himself and he wants to remind hotch that they had his back (supposedly lol) during foyet, so he should back him up now. its when he thinks hotch should be on his side
jj won't reference it directly. in hit and run when she wants hotch to let them go after will, she definitely appeals to him in a particular way. she has that "don't make me say it, but i know you know how i'm feeling right now" look. it's subtle, but there's so much conveyed in the way she looks at him in that moment. it may not be fair, but she's desperate to get him to listen, and this is the best way she knows how
after zugzwang, reid insulates himself the way he usually does when he's struggling emotionally with something. i don't think he means anything by it, i think he's just overwhelmed, but it's like he forgets that he's not the only one who's suffered. he acts as though no one has any idea what he's going through, like he's the only one who's been through this kind of pain, and it's not until hotch reminds him that he remembers that hotch has been in a very similar situation
idk its kinda what we were talking about before, about how the team has this blind spot when it comes to hotch. he's the teacher who doesn't exist outside of school, he's the dad who doesn't have his own life, he's the boss who doesn't have any emotions. they all know to varying degrees that none of that is true, but it's an easy mindset to slip back into when there's something significant going on and their minds are all over the place. its easier to forget. its easier to be insensitive.
#i really do have a lot of opinions on this aksjhdlksajhdag#i'll probably have more to say the more i watch/the more i recall#asks#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#char crit#cm crit#endgame spoilers#but yeah i really dont like watching the first half of this season for that reason..#they sacrifice so many aspects of so many characters in order to fit this exact storyline they want for hotch#which is just... kinda gross lmao#and like. idk it almost hurts more as a hotch fan to see everyone else get shit on for his sake#its just not worth it#i mean r u kidding? i've come up with dozens of ways to make hotch miserable that's perfectly in character w everyone aksjhdlg
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I have seen not long ago a post about "spain's dark side" so...your opinion about that? (I kinda have a feeling of knowing why himaruya came up with that and, if I am right, I am not sure if I like it. It's not that I don't like the dark side thing, but if the reason is what I think, then I don't fancy it)
Great question! Please excuse the length of this response in advance, and if I go off on any tangents.
To directly answer your question: I have a horrible feeling that Dark Spain is inspired by the Spanish Black Legend/La leyenda negra, and I don't like that at all.
You've really hit on an important topic here, so I'm going to extend this discussion. I call this upcoming piece: Why I don't like Dark Spain and why we, as fans and creators, need to be mindful of how we enjoy our beloved series.
Side note before we begin: I'm going to be talking from a writer's perspective, since this is what I mostly do. My opinion is just that, nothing more. Some will agree with me, others won't, and that's okay. If you're happy with the terms, let's crack on.
Part 1: "Dark" characters
I'm not against 2P or "dark" versions of a character if it's required for a particular setting. Let me show you what I mean, using some fic plots I just pulled from my head:
Example one: You've got this gritty, fantasy gangster city plot. You use a real city as your location, but the characters are human. Antonio's the leader of a huge criminal organisation and therefore he will do incredibly bad things. It's trigger warnings ahoy.
Is this portrayal okay? Sure. (read on before you hit that reply button)
Example two: You're writing a horror fic. Antonio's a sexy merman who's more likely to decorate his cave with your entrails, than serenade you on a beach.
Is this plot fine? Absolutely. It's dark af, but you're writing sexy merman horror. It kinda’ comes with the territory.
Did you see how I wrote "fantasy" and "human" in bold? And did you see that I used Antonio, not Spain? There's a reason. I personally believe in this:
When your story uses Hetalia characters in their human form (i.e: Antonio is just Antonio, he does not represent Spain), there's much more freedom and flexibility. I've read many excellent works with darker themes who use real locations alongside human versions of the characters, and do so brilliantly. They're wonderful stories, and they don't cause harm. They're fiction. Fantasy. Fiction. Did I mention fiction?
On the flip side: When we are writing the characters as country personifications, who represent the people and the history, we must take proper precaution. The same applies to writing about historical events. (To be continued down below.)
Part 2: Dark Spain
As someone who's been in fandom 10+ years now, my problem with Dark Spain is this: a number of creators back in the old days seemed to agree with my Black Legend theory/concerns, and yet they willingly made content for it. Not everybody did this, but I certainly saw some who thought "wow dark crazy Spain because Inquisition", applied it to certain ships because "ohh angst leads to romance, what a plot" and that is wrong on so many levels.
If you know the Spanish Black Legend, then you know how bad this is. It's an incredibly difficult topic because it is, in the simplest sense, massive propaganda designed to seriously damage a country's image. I welcome Spanish input on this, but personally I think using this as some edgy portrayal of Antonio in your fics is insulting. Don't bloody well do it.
(Please note that the fandom is MUCH better now, but it doesn't change the fact it has, and could still happen. I used past tense for a reason, as I do think things are improving.)
Russia is another character which suffers this treatment, and I do think we have a responsibility to be considerate. Many countries have done awful things, mine (the UK) included, and yet our characters have escaped receiving this Dark persona. It's not fair, it really isn't. It's a poor judgment call on Himaruya's behalf if my theory is true. If I'm wrong, then this argument is void. Either way I feel like Himaruya should've specified how and why Dark Spain came about.
Part 3: Historical writing
Here's where it gets interesting. I'm not saying "don't write historical hetalia fanfiction", and I never will say it because historical fiction exists. You can go in your local bookshop and boom, people are making real money off it.
I'm not one of those lucky sorts, but I am contributing to that genre myself. Despite lots of magic, fantasy and general artistic license, my story Gatito can be considered historicaI.
It's set in England, 1569. Spain and the Netherlands are two of the main characters, and yes, their conflict is referenced. It coincides with the timeline, and all the while I write them as personifications, I can't pretend that tension between them doesn't exist. If I did, that'd probably be even more insulting to their history, and no doubt confusing for the reader.
The main plot is a daft mash of Arthur misusing his magic, a vile fictional man from Antonio's court who wants his head, and poor Netherlands and Portugal get wrapped up in the drama along the way.
The Dutch conflict is featured, but not the plot. The event is occurring right in the middle of a fictional disaster which Antonio is trying to overcome. It's acknowledged, but it's on the side, to put it simply.
I use human names (Antonio and Abel) and explore that situation from an emotional, human perspective. I do not claim that Abel is a victim, and no one thinks he is either. Personal HC time here: I don't think any of the characters look back at their history and think "wow, poor me". Everyone's made mistakes, and they've all played a role in hurting someone else.
My history teacher once told me this: The more you look, the more you see. There's many sides to a story, and even to this day, I doubt historians have truly, faithfully documented events so that it's fair on every nation involved. That's why we need to try and learn history from multiple perspectives, and why when writing hetalia characters during a historical event, we should show the reader as many viewpoints as possible. If you don't, then... well. I frown at you. More on this in part 4.
Part 4: Conclusion/advice
I won't pretend to be a saintly figure in the fandom, and this rant is a bit of a mess, but I hope you get what I'm on about. Thank you if you're still reading.
I'm going to finish with a bit of advice that has helped me have a positive time, and allowed me to create works for a series I really love:
1- If your story is historical, and you purposely want to paint a country in a bad light, think before you do. Don't slander another country for the sake of your comfort character or ship. If your story is set during a battle then yes, they can moan about the opposition, but don’t go hardcore. You know what I mean.
2- Research, research, research.
3- You want to write a particular character. Their human name is unconfirmed, or you don't know a part of their history, but you want to write about it. What should you do?
Talk. I had this very dilemma regarding Portugal's surnames, and I just asked Portuguese mutuals on Tumblr for help. I received numerous valid responses in under an hour, and I felt better for it. 10/10 highly recommend.
4- If you've gotta' write Dark Spain: Keep. It. Fictional. If you don't believe my theory behind it, cool, crack on. But if you agree with me, then yeah, I've said it enough. Respect the country.
5- DO explore history. It's fascinating.
6- If you write historical hetalia and you feel that something might be misunderstood: PLEASE USE DISCLAIMERS, END NOTES ETC.
I write number 6 from experience. There is a scene in Gatito where a significantly stressed Antonio attempts to summarise the Dutch conflict. He's being blamed for countless fictional issues, and rather than think things through, he blames himself for Abel's pain as well. He does it on a purely emotional basis.
Have you ever had that really bad day, and things keep getting worse? Someone comes along and says "you did x y z and I'm mad", and rather than argue your side, you accept it?
That's Antonio in that scene. I know it is, because that's how I intended it to be read. His answer is flawed, to say the least, but in his human heart, he can't help it.
I used the end notes as a warning/apology/explanation for this scene. I don't want it to be misinterpreted, and I don't want to disrespect Spanish history.
7- If someone does comment/ask about a sensitive, historical part of your work: don't rant. And don't get offended. I believe we all need to talk more. Have conversations about HCs, how we would write/imagine different scenes, and use it to improve your work.
8- Have fun, and be sensible.
Thank you again for reading, I hope this helps to some extent. I know I've thrown my opinion out here, but if you strongly disagree with me, don't @. Move on, embrace what you believe, and everyone's a winner. (This really should've been number 9 on the list haha.)
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I’ve been thinking a lot about online fandom climates but specifically my experiences within the Undertale fandom and especially the Discord and Soundcloud communities. If there is one thing I’ve noticed in all that time, it’s... just how quickly negativity can spread and make others feel outraged as well. And how little communication and respect happens in these online spaces.
For instance, one of the servers I’m a part of- it used to be commonplace for people to nitpick the HELL out of AUs and other fanworks. This led to this twisted sense of superiority and jealousy. People were outraged that the works they put so much time and care into were overshadowed by other works that they felt were less deserving. I, regrettably, fell into this habit, too, and for a long time I was just so... hostile and resentful toward certain AUs and Undertale fanworks.
And on one hand, I get it. There are popular Undertale fanworks that do things that are... frankly uncomfortable. Misgendering Frisk/Chara/Napstablook/etc, killing off Alphys or Papyrus for shock value, uncomfortable ships etc, etc. To a lesser extent, some just have really bad writing or characterization. I understand wanting to vent about these things in a safe space rather than swarming the content creators- but my concern is that many of these servers are actually public or semi-public, and with a large userbase that kinda feeds into circular venting that can consume channels and leave spaces with an overall toxic atmosphere.
Granted, I ALSO get that not every content creator has been polite in response to fan concerns. I have seen popular creators actively mock people who politely raise issues to them. And I think that’s really in poor taste- I get being frustrated if someone comes to you saying this thing you worked on is uncomfortable/hurtful, but I think as long as they are NOT attacking, it’s important to have patience. People aren’t mind readers. Popularity doesn’t excuse folks from human decency, and I also think that fans of content creators should also just... not gang up on someone who maybe has a dissenting opinion on the thing they enjoy?
Though I will say, there’s also a pretty serious problem of disrespect toward content creators, too. Consider how many people go to Youtube and reupload people’s art/animation without credit or consent. This is a HUGE problem in the Undertale AU community especially, but it doesn’t end there. People will argue a creator’s decisions. I see this a LOT with people who label their work’s Chara as nonbinary- there’s a VERY vocal part of the fanbase that INSISTS Chara must be female... which is really unpleasant (yes, I realize gender discourse goes both way and aggression is never cool but I see this particular example a LOT). Never mind the occasional entitlement.
One prominent issue I see is just... the expectation of a work to conform to popular headcanons/interpretations. When IF started releasing its dubs, people got angry because some of our casting choices were unconventional. But it’s not just a matter of voice interpretations. There are ideas within the fandom collective people just treat as Objective Canon.
E.G. Gaster being lost to “the void” and forgotten, Toriel and Asgore NEEDING to get back together Post-Paci and especially in any timeline where one/both kids is saved (disregarding that Toriel has a right to keep boundaries), the assumption that every work will select certain dialogue choices that are popular when things like Places to Go exists and deserve exploration, too.
But it’s not just that. Take the Undertoad AU- people have gotten SO angry and entitled over its character placements (especially Kammy as “Toriel”). They got hostile when the AU creators declared they aren’t directly using roles, and while I personally think the matter could’ve been handled more delicately toward the fans, I also sympathize in that it is an AU that has been disrespected by fans since its inception, and as a content creator, that can be so, SO exhausting.
But it’s not just Utoad. Team Switched has gotten so much flak for not sticking to the original Underswap concepts. The ORIGINAL Underswap creators got so fed up with fans disregarding their comfort zones and drawing ships they did not approve of (and requested people not draw) that they up and deleted the blog and disowned the AU.
I know it’s just fandom, but it’s just SO unfortunate when a content creator’s ideas aren’t respected. When a creator asks that people not create certain types of fan content or sets up certain boundaries.
More than anything, people need to understand that we’re all just... people. And just ‘cause someone is popular doesn’t make them unapproachable. I know, personally, I’d MUCH rather someone come to me if they had a legitimate grievance with my work so I can understand and at the very least keep it in mind going forward- especially if it was hurtful. People make mistakes, and sometimes the social climates one grows up in means they still have a LOT of room to learn or they just might not be privy to implications behind a given idea. Or they’re just inexperienced. It’s why I HATED when the SC and Discord spheres would tear into people with less experience- folks who are still learning to create and don’t have the foundation or knowledge others have.
Like, goodness. There was this one AU made by someone whose first language was NOT English, and everyone would meme the heck out of it instead of talking to the creator and giving constructive feedback. It’s one thing if a content creator refuses to take input and lashes out- at that point, it’s best to block/unfollow and move on. But it is SO important to remember that this is a fandom that is FULL of young people, and making a public mockery of their work can really discourage them from honing their skills.
It’s just... cringe culture is really bad. And so is online bullying. And so often, that’s what happens. The UTSC community, for instance? Rampant with all manner of toxicity. Backlash towards anyone who dares mention the oversaturation of Megalovania styled tracks, mockery toward new composers, transphobia (good LORD I heard about some awful conduct in *that* regard), the idea that servers that have zero tolerance for edgy slurs are “too soft” (yes, the IF server won’t let you be racist/homophobic/transphobic edgelords. Human decency is kinda important).
These things, of course, are just a universal part of fandom and especially public spaces. There will always be online toxicity. But I think it’s important to remember not to get too swept up on it. To step back sometimes and understand that there’s a point where you can’t force change and sometimes it’s better to block/unfollow and find something more positive to remind you of what you enjoy about fandom.
Though as one final note, I think it is ABSOLUTELY important to watch out for younger fans because SO many fandom spaces have predators and abusers. When it reaches a point where someone is actively hurting others, then it is completely understandable to spread the word. But that should be saved for the people who are actually a danger and not the person giving a dissenting opinion on a character you enjoy.
#fandom#discourse#undertale discourse#undertale#dorkvents#tw: transphobia mention#i will add any other tags you guys see fit
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I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.
Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.
First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.
However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.
So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.
I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.
To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.
However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.
Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.
The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.
Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.
Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america
Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.
Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:
Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.
Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM
And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING
anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life
#vampire#dracula#dracula2020#bbc dracula#bbc dracula 2020#3 am essays cause im pissed#dracula bram stoker#bram stoker#draculaxreader apparnetly
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hi what is mash and why do you love it so much because i need to know if i need to love it too thanks
Hello, anon! It took a bit because I wanted to put time into my answers, so here you are!
What Is M*A*S*H:
M*A*S*H is a tv show about doctors/nurses stationed at a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M*A*S*H) unit on the frontlines of the Korean War. The show focuses on the medical staff as they desperately try to save the lives of young soldiers. Many of the doctors are draftees and they are faced with trying to cope with the horror of a war they want no part of and that is the absolute antithesis to their professional calling. They fight against death every day, struggle against military bureaucracy, and try to keep their sanity. Often that deep stress is released in humor, practical jokes, and wildly unmilitary antics, but the true costs and realities of war are never treated lightly. I’ve never seen another show that can make me laugh so hard and then turn on a dime to make me cry just as deeply a second later. The show is a beautiful examination of human nature, heart, found family, loss, helplessness, despair, exhaustion, humanity, and hope,.
M*A*S*H ran for 11 years, from 1972-1983 and the finale, Goodbye, Farewell and Amen, is still the most-watched television broadcast in history (the NYC sewer nearly faced collapse because people would all flush the toilet at the same time during commercials, and the streets were totally empty of cars as over half the country, 150+ mil people, watched the finale live together all at the same time. Can you imagine?!). Plus, it’s been in continuous syndication for 45 years which is impressive. M*A*S*H is for all generations, it resonates far beyond the era in which it was made, or which it was made about.
Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (in general):
I don’t think there is another show out there in the history of the world that has written such narratively wonderful, deeply moving character arcs. I don’t know if there’s another show out there where the characters grow so much from their relationships with one another. Or a show that depicts masculinity in such a healthy, tender way. It is normal on M*A*S*H for male characters to: Cry. Hug. Tuck each other in. Hold hands. Perform emotional labor. Actively listen. Dance together. Sleep with teddy bears (and not have it be a joke). Admit they were wrong. Change and grow from being wrong. Etc, etc.
And while Major Margaret Houlihan is the only female lead, her character arc is the most beautiful of any character I have ever watched or read. The show doesn’t start out particularly feminist, but it definitely ends that way (both male and female characters evolve here and it’s wonderful). And if more tv shows had characters half as complex as Margaret Houlihan, tv would be a whole lot more interesting, and women would be a whole lot farther along toward equality, imo.
Why Do I Love M*A*S*H So Much (the personal):
I was 15 or 16 when I started watching M*A*S*H. I was going through a very dark time in my home life. But my Mom would usually have M*A*S*H on while making dinner or just after. It was their weird time of day where it seemed like a truce between us. Sometimes I’d even sit all 5’8 of my gangly teenage body on her lap and we’d just watch like that with her arms around me (which given that things were darkly terrible the rest of the time it was like being a small kid again in a way I really needed). We’d talk about the characters. We’d talk about the stories. We both loved Margaret Houlihan (it’s interesting that Margaret has the most valuable traits I learned from my Mom - things I like most about her and am grateful she taught me despite all the bad stuff).
Soon I was racing home after school and jamming in a blank VHS so that I could record each ep. I’d cross reference between tv guide and IMDB to try to see if any eps that I hadn’t seen yet would be on so I could record them for my collection. I made an elaborate cataloging system because they weren’t shown in order! And some eps were shown only rarely!! (I’m only 28, it amazes me that this was how things were not that long ago lol).
Anyway, the DVD box set came out and I saved up alllllll my $ for it. Thank goodness, because then I got sick and for a few years the M*A*S*H characters were the most consistent and truest friends I had. The show is deeply personal for me. I can watch it over, and over, and over. It makes me laugh, and weep, and cheer. It’s like having friends. Like having family.
Should You Love M*A*S*H too?
I want you to love M*A*S*H. I want everyone to love M*A*S*H! And M*A*S*H holds up. It’s still radically progressive. It’s still - in this time where North Korea is a frequent headline, where we have a government we do not trust, in a world where we have been at war since 2001 - deeply relevant.
Here’s the thing though: it was made in the 70s, about events in the 1950s, and this is 2019 tumblr-land. You’ve all read the roasts about lack of critical thinking skills on this website and ability to contextualize, and those posts are unfortunately not wrong. And the world has changed - and changed for even better than what was, at the time, truly radical! Even terms that were the liberal, pc term in the 70s have changed now and are not liberal or pc anymore which for the 2019 watcher might raise eyebrows. But the show is extremely pointed about calling out racism, homophobia, sexism, military fetishism, colonization, etc. I think maybe the only other show I can think of that goes so hard at dogged and relentless political call outs would be One Day at a Time. So I feel protective of M*A*S*H because in 50 years maybe we will look back at ODaaT and say yikes about certain things, though that feels crazy to say now.
If you do want to watch, here’s my advice (pull down your pants and slide on the ice (sorry, omg M*A*S*H jokeee)):
Do not start with S1. Start with S4, or S5 even. For one thing, there are some cast changes at the start of S4 so you get intro-ed to everyone again in “Welcome to Korea pt 1 & 2” and “Change of Command.” It’s a really good starting point to see a lot of characters on the brink of change. Don’t get me wrong, I still really love S1-3 but the characters haven’t grown yet. I love going back because I know them so well, but if you’re just meeting them, I recommend getting to know them in the middle of their journey, watch them evolve, and then go back and see where they started. And I think Col. Potter/BJ really elevated the tone of the show.
Because M*A*S*H is an older tv show, most people who love M*A*S*H never watched the show in order because we could only watched it in syndication! And you don’t really need to watch in order! In fact, CBS had the final call for episode order so sometimes even the air order is different than the writing, filming, intended order. Also, because they had 11 years of content over a 3 years of war, the show itself isn’t chronological. Due to probability (there are just more Potter/BJ eps) I saw more S4+ eps when I was first watching the show so again that’s my newbie preference. Now that it’s on Hulu (and remastered OMG) it might be tempting to watch in order, but really do recommend skipping around or at least starting later in for sure. You’ll learn context as you go (recs below). Then once you get the characters and their arcs it’s suuuuper fascinating to watch in order.
Fight me: Is everyone bisexual on this show??! Yes, yes they are. This is where I go full 2019 tumblr-brain, lol, but looking back I think it’s one of the reasons I loved it before I understood myself. It’s gentle, tender, pretty wavy. Alan Alda’s Hawkeye Pierce is, like, arguably canonically bi, like I even wonder if he was intentionally written/played that way on the dl. It’s pretty blatant?? And don’t even get me started on Margaret Houlihan. Godddddddd.
On that note, and maybe you will fall over, but Margaret and Hawkeye are my actual, #1, forever OTP. Which is weird for you, dear readers, I’m sure, as I run a v strict wlw blog and I’m very proud about that. But broken people who heal and change and grow because of the other is my tea, jam, and bread (”crackers and jam! too bad!” ;) ), and so far the writing of other characters and relationships hasn’t a hope of even coming into the range of depth these characters have (obvs not just wlw ships, all other mlw ships are The Worst as well, we’re all doomed, why does tv suck). But anyway, I would take them over any ship any day of the week goombye (but also….shipping Margaret is kinda like….not the point of Margaret Houlihan).
It’s worth noting that M*A*S*H has a character named Maxwell Klinger who wears a dress to try to get out of the army via a Section 8 (previously known as a “psycho”) discharge (remember lgbtq was still classified as a mental illness, smh). Obviously, this is potentially triggering. And, obviously, not okay in today’s world. To me the show does call out that it is the policies/laws/politics that are crazy, not Klinger. I think there are still some fairly modern ideas in his portrayal in that anyone who treats him like he is crazy, or is disrespectful, is very pointedly shown to be bigoted/an antagonist. Klinger is excellent at his job, brave, loyal, true, and that’s all anyone who is a protagonist cares about (and I do think they try to show to the extend they could during the time it aired that even if Klinger were not doing it for a discharge, they would respond the same way). Fwif, imo, Klinger isn’t played as a one note joke for wearing dresses, in fact, to an extent, he does wear them utterly sincerely. He loves, deeply loves, clothes and fashion because loving something gives him something to live for. It becomes his passion, not a gag. The gag is that Klinger will do anything to get out of the war through any available loophole he hears about (having an imaginary pet camel, eating 10 sausages in a single day, eating a jeep, trying to get into West Point aka join the military to get out of the military), etc. His comrades in arms treat him very sincerely and are very protective. Early on, a jeep comes in with wounded and Radar pulls Klinger away from the blood, “careful, you’ll get your dress dirty” in the most serious, sweet way. Col Potter is always very serious and sincere about telling Klinger when one of his dresses is a fav, and Klinger positively glows. When Klinger has to trade his dress collection to local women in exchange for shelter for the wounded during a bug out, Col. Potter, regular army in his 3rd war, tells Klinger (who is in tears) that it’s the finest act of bravery he has ever seen (and he means it). When Margaret desperately wants to look pretty and Klinger pulls out one of his best frocks and helps her dress in it - Margaret who grew up in combat boots wanting a crew cut - it’s pretty emotional (and I bawl when he gives her the wedding dress, goddd). As for Klinger himself, he’s one of my favorite characters. He has the biggest heart and I love him (and yes, I might feel differently if I had a different life experience than I do - that is why I’m flagging this as something that might not be for everyone, or might be trigger - because history already is triggering, and not everyone might be as moved by him as I am).
If you’re a 30 Rock fan you will know the star Alan Alda as Milton Greeen, Jack Donaghy’s father, and if you love Beauty and the Beast you will know that the actor who voiced Cogsworth is a major (lol pun) character in S6-11! But that’s all crazy to me because they are always M*A*S*H, first and forever, and always in my mind! I can’t believe they’re all in their 80s now, or that so many of them have passed. :( They are truly my whole heart, my family, my home.
If you do want to watch, recommend you start with the following eps (omg this list is long but it feels so short):
Welcome to Korea pt 1 + 2 (s4)
Change of Command (s4)
Aid Station (s3)
Death Takes a Holiday (s9)
Carry on, Hawkeye (s2)
Bug Out pt 1 + 2 (s5)
Dear Sigmund (s5)
Period of Adjustment (s8) *my first ep ever :,)
The Bus (s4)
Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (s1)
Tuttle (s1)
Crisis (s2)
O.R. (s3)
5 O'Clock Charlie (s2)
The Nurses (s5)
The Interview (s4)
Movie Tonight (s5)
Abyssinia, Henry (s3)
Hepatitis (s5)
Your Hit Parade (s6)
Peace on Us (s7)
Eye for a Tooth (s7)
Old Soldiers (s8)
Life Time (s8)
Stars and Stripes (s8)
Hey, Look Me Over (s11)
There’s a million more things I could say about the show. I feel like I haven’t summarized it justly. If anyone wants to chime in with why they love M*A*S*H, what your fav ep is, etc, please do :)
#m*a*s*h#mash#hawkeye pierce#alan alda#colonel potter#margaret houlihan#loretta swit#harry morgan#bj honnicutt#mike farrel#klinger#jamie farr#trapper john#henry blake#father mulcahy#frank burns#charles winchester#hotlips houlihan#major moulihan#major margaret houlihan#captain pierce#tv#tv history#Anonymous
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How the Andi Mack Fandom Treats Jonah Beck & Asher Angel
Nearing the end of the show everything feels more like a fiendom than a fandom. One of the biggest problems include, but are not limited to everyone's treatment or general disregard/disrespect to certain characters in the show and by extension their actors, another big problem is the attempt to block the ability of free choice from fellow fandom mates by attempting to decide what they can or cannot do so let's make a couple of things clear-
I & any other Jyrus stan can ship whatever we want
I don't have to hail Tyrus even if I do ship it to a certain extent
I can & will state my grievances with Tyrus if I want
I can & will make fun of the Tyrus ship if I want (Tyrus shippers do it all the time to Jyrus so why can't we)
If I or any other person decide to make a post with the universal Tyrus shippers tag or whatever in said post it's not always gonna be something you know or remember seeing, but it might be something we've seen multiple times or in short it's not always about you
Now to the meat of the post this fandoms treatment of Asher Angel and his character Jonah Beck, one of my favorite actors and my favorite Andi Mack character respectively. This makes me mad in about seven different ways and here's why.
Unfair judgement over the supposed usage of a racist phrase
This was awhile back, but like it makes me upset because he didn't actually say anything and it was in the context of a song. Like yeah I get the song had the 'n' word in it, but he didn't actually say it? Like he may have mouthed the word maybe, but he didn't say it and as a person of color who this pertains to I didn't find anything offensive about the phrase in that context. I've spoken to others and they didn't find it offensive either and with the risk of being rude when I say this frankly if you aren't black you have no right to get offended because the slur was not used to shame you or your ancestors so stop trying to be a social justice warrior or using fake offenses to justify your hatred of a kid.
Undeserved hatred for the character Jonah Beck
Jonah Beck gets a lot of bad rep in this fandom which to me feels horrible because he's my favorite character in all of Andi Mack. He's adorable, a dork, kinda athletic, easily distracted by cute boys, and has big dumb energy which I absolutely love. He's not really good at relationships, but I think everyone misses that none of the GHC is good at relationships which us fair I mean they're in middle school. Literally none of their relationships lasted. Cyrus and Andi spend so much time in the beginning of the show pinning after a boy who they think I'd perfect and they don't really know or understand. Andi and Jonah both changed their minds like whiplash when it came to their relationship. Buffy legit pushes away any boy who showed romantic interest in her regardless if she did or didn't like them back until she was faced with possibly losing them forever to another girl. Andi and Cyrus, in conclusion, don't get to know the people they're attracted to and are not prepared for not getting a perfect specimen and instead dating a human. For Jonah no one really continually tells him what they want him to be doing in the relationship or how to make the relationship work. Buffy continuously denies her feelings until they boil over.
Undeserved judgement of Asher Angel
Asher Angel got judged heavily for not attending the cast party and instead taking his girlfriend on a date a little about away from the party. He's allowed to do that. Parties are optional. This doesn't mean he doesn't like his cast members or hates the show or some other bull that you may have seen or decided. What it means is that he's a nice boyfriend who probably feels like his girlfriend might have been feeling a bit alone or something similar due to her boyfriend being a very busy actor? Maybe he didn't want to attend the party. Maybe he doesn't like parties. It is so not that big of a deal and the fact that so many people were mad because he decided that he didn't want to do this one little thing that was outside of his contract is frankly amazing and annoying. He's allowed free will and not everything he does has to be in relation to Andi Mack.
Conclusion
I love Andi Mack. I would like a season 4, but you are trippin' if you think I'll accept a season 4 if none of this changes because the facts are that this fandom is downright crappy when it comes to Jonah Beck and Asher Angel and I've seen people disguise it as bringing up the character/actor while actually bringing them down and I do not appreciate it. If you think my opinion is invalid or something you won't be laughing when Asher Angel refuses to come back for a possible season 4 of Andi Mack or a movie. So my suggestion is that you guys stop bashing Asher Angel, learn to be polite, and apologize if you can because this stuff is hurtful. Also remember that Asher isn't bound to this fandom he's a good actor and he's got fans. People adore his performance in Shazam! They adore his songs, or they just like him. It isn't going to destroy his career if he doesn't come back because he fans will understand considering the general nastiness that this fandom throws at Asher.
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hey could you rec some fics where Tony is paired with someone other than Pepper but he and Pepper are still friends? I love her and I hate reading fics where she's vilified. Thanks! :)
I’m not a fan of villified!Pepper, either! I adore her. I feel like they’d remain friends even if they ended up breaking up, such as in these fics (and it’s a long list of them, too, so hopefully there’s some new stuff in there for you). I’m sure I missed some, so at some point I might add more to the list! The extent that their friendship is portrayed varies from fic to fic, but none of them should have any negativity towards her.
My Son, My Sun by Wordsplat
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 70,151
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark; Tony Stark & Peter Parker
Completed: Yes
Just before the events of Iron Man, a baby is left on Tony’s doorstep. He wants nothing to do with it at first, but his time in Afghanistan changes his mind and Tony vows to become a better man for his son’s sake.
Anew. by IViv
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 130,567
Pairing: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Completed: Yes
In death, there was no glory, no redemption, no salvation.
Only darkness and ice—or that’s what Tony thought. He closed his eyes in a Siberian bunker and opened them again on his 41st birthday, with War Machine flying into the distance.
Still Alive by araydre, Menatiera, Neutralchaos, and yeppers
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 62,088
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
The Winter Soldier escaped from Hydra, and on the run, It needs a Mechanic to maintain the very efficient weapon attached to its body. It decides the best person for the work is the world’s best weapon expert: Tony Stark.Abducting him goes unexpectedly well. Then, complications come.
Paved With Good Intentions (I’m on the road to hell) by itsallAvengers
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 121,126
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Completed: No
When the mysterious group of vigilante assassins known only as ‘The Avengers’ are tipped off about the dirty secrets that lie within Stark Industries, Steve Rogers has his heart set on taking out Tony Stark for good in order to protect the rest of the world from his evil. He’s seen the footage, after all- Stark is a man who fights only for himself. And of course, when a job arises as chief bodyguard for Stark, to protect him from the growing threat of an ominously infatuated stalker, the opportunity is way too good for him to miss out on. It’s the perfect placement, and the perfect way to find out whether or not their tipoff is genuine.
But as Steve falls into rank as the new bodyguard for Mr. Stark and he spends time getting to know and protect him, his initial hatred begins to falter and merge into something different, something far more terrifying than the prospect of killing the face of Stark Industries.
Steve Rogers may just be falling in love with him instead.
Illuminate Me by Half_SubmergedinPurgatory
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 130,041
Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
Tony isn’t a healthy man. He’s fine with that, really. It makes perfect sense. Unfortunately, he has a job to do that kind of has his health as a major requirement. So he unmakes himself, remakes the Accords, protects every single child super that enters his field of view, and hopes ferociously that the Avengers never come back to the US. He doesn’t spend any time at all rebuilding Bucky Barnes’ life. Not a single second. Anything he does that contributes to him is simply an accident.
Bucky is a patient man. It’s ok if Tony wants to ignore him for now. He won’t be able to forever.
(Somewhere in the world, a sense of dread crawls up the back of Tony’s spine)
Dig No Graves by miss-aphelion
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 142,844
Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark
Completed: No
“I’m here to kill you, Terminator,” Tony said slowly, “does that compute?”
The soldier looked up at him with wide blue eyes and no expression. “Okay.”
Tony froze. “Okay,” he echoed. “I tell you I came here to kill you and your response is ‘okay’?”
“I am being decommissioned,” the soldier said, and for one horrible moment Tony thought he actually seemed relieved. “I understand. I will comply.”
(Or; Tony learns the Winter Soldier killed his parents and goes on a search for revenge, but ends up learning how to heal instead)
Saving the World (Is Totally a Date) by Wordsplat
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 64,465
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
Tony discovers Stane’s betrayal while he’s still being held captive. When he escapes, he sets out to ruin Stane as completely and ruthlessly as he can, playing up his PTSD and quitting his job to destroy Stane quietly from the outside. He also picks up a teaching job-all Pepper’s fault-and oh, right, becomes a supervillain. Okay, that one was Tony’s fault, but it was totally an accident.
In the meantime, a certain Capsicle is defrosted a year early, and is assigned the task of capturing the notorious Iron Man. It’s not going particularly well, if the embarrassingly high number of times he’s been kidnapped in the past six months is any indication. When SHIELD decides to help him “adjust” by getting him a teaching job, Steve is skeptical; but then there’s Tony, and Steve finds he doesn’t mind the 21st century so much after all.
The Accidental Husband by panda_shi
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 97,716
Pairing: Tony Stark/T’Challa
Completed: No
Tony Stark discovers, that during his lowest point when he had been almost-twenty-one, he had married the King of Wakanda. Except he doesn’t remember how. Now, trying to get a divorce is going to be one challenging thing – how is this his life, even? It’s almost unfair!
It’s Not Cosmetic by withasideofangst
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 32,997
Pairing: Gen (pre Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)
Completed: Yes
After Afghanistan and Iron Man, SHIELD gave Tony a choice. He could out himself as Iron Man, or claim it was a bodyguard, and hide his face from the world.
Agent Agent never said anything, but Tony had hacked SHIELD’s servers and knew they wanted him to go the bodyguard route. Yes to Iron Man and no to Tony Stark, and all that.
That, as well as keeping Pepper safe, made him go with the bodyguard cover, and flimsy as he thought it was, no one questioned it.
Of course, why would they? Tony Stark was no superhero.
—
Although, it’s less easy to keep a secret identity with a bunch of superheroes and spies living in your house.
Journey To The Past by melonbutterfly
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 67,329
Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
Loki doesn’t know why he feels the urge to go to Midgard, but it’s strong enough that he, when a stranger offers him free passage in exchange for his pretending to be lost Prince Loki of Asgard, doesn’t hesitate for long.He really has no idea how much his life is going to change.
A Friend for A Week by LokasennaHiddleston
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 159,969
Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark
Completed: No
A week before Thor’s coronation, a drunk and depressed Loki decides he wants a genuine friend of his own. Of course, he turns to magic to solve his dilemma.There are only two problems. First, he is very aware that his current form isn’t very lovable or trustworthy. Second, he actually needs a person to befriend.This is how Loki ends up in Tony Stark’s living room, minutes after his disastrous birthday party, and in the shape of a cat. What will our favorite genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist make of the mysteriously appearing feline, and how will it all affect their lives, and those of the people around them?
Case 623 by DannieU
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 146,441
Pairing: James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark
Completed: No
Tony was pretty sure that the small human left on his doorstep was just a (really fucking frightening) attempt at extortion, and mostly just wanted child protective services to show up yesterday. Then an extended trip to Afghanistan puts life, the universe and everything into perspective, and somehow, miraculously, Tony might be closer to happy than he’s been in his life. He’s even willing to accept the enormous pieces of the puzzle he’s obviously missing. He should’ve learnt long ago that what you don’t know will always come back to bite you in the ass.
Even the Light is an Illusion by Mizzy
★ ★ ★ ★
Words: 102,373
Pairing: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
Death threats are an unfortunate side-effect of being Tony Stark, so he’s learned to ignore them. The problem is, when someone really wants you dead, hiding your head in the sand just kinda exposes your ass.
But it’s not just Tony’s behind on the line. Whoever wants him dead wants him to suffer first, and they’re willing to do anything to make that happen. Tony knows there’s only one way out. To save Steve, the Avengers, and the general public, Tony has to die. Of course, death isn’t always the end, and Tony does what any other self-disrespecting scientist would do: he finds a way to fake his death and avenge his own murder.
The trouble is, terrible decisions usually have a terrible price, and this one is no different. Tony has a chance to save the day, but the cost may be more than Tony was ever expecting to pay…
Forged With Blood, Forged With Fire by agentsimmons
★ ★ ★
Words: 91,279
Pairing: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
When Bruce looks over Tony’s blood work he notices an anomaly that sets them both on a search for answers and shows them just how much they mean to one another in the process. But when the truth finally becomes clear, it’s only the start of more obstacles and changes to come as they each find themselves facing new enemies and old.
And When It Does I’m Already Gone by qwanderer and roseapprentice
★ ★ ★
Words: 75,111
Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark
Completed: Yes
Eighteen years ago, Tony fell in love with a mysterious woman, all green eyes and wit. Now he’s given up all hope of finding her again, but with curiosity and a well-placed spider, fate has different ideas.
Loki lies and loves and loses and leaves things unfinished. But the people who love Loki back aren’t about to let the past go so easily. And Tony and Peter can dig up their share of secrets when they put their heads together. Biological Smartass Family.
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hi - seeing your other kin posts promoted me to want to ask you something. I don't wanna be rude or mean in asking this, I just have a lack of understanding. so, other kin is identifying as a different species or animal, correct? believing you are that animal? Im just curious how its a belief system when unlike religion, it is directly proven or not. or unlike gender, it isn't a concept, as your body is physical and has genetic evidence. again I don't mean to disrespect anyone, I'm just confused
Nah man it’s alright. This is the best way to ask about things really. I’m not otherkin but a lot of my friends are and I even considered it for myself for a while but here’s what I know.
Otherkin has slowly become a blanket term, but if you want to be technical, otherkin is the term for people who believe some part of themselves (normally their soul, or mind, or consciousness, or something of the sort. I don’t know anyone who thinks their physical body has something to do with it.) is a mythical creature, or at least a creature that isn’t recognized by science. Therians are those who believe some part of themselves is of an animal. I personally see this as a spiritual belief, kinda like how practicing magic is having a spiritual belief to an extent.
Most people connect this belief to past life memories and feelings that have carried onto this life, so much so, that they feel weird with human aspects, such as standing on two legs, having certain teeth, not having scales or feathers or whatnot. Others (though I’ve seen few) believe that they were meant to be born as a certain creature but were born human. There’s a bunch of other ways otherkin and therians look at it. They also explain how they could be mythical creatures: maybe these creatures are from another planet or dimension, or used to live on Earth, or they do and we don’t know it yet?
Most otherkin/therian feelings consist of having animalistic desires such as hunting, hoarding, nesting, communicating with certain noises, territorial behavior, an overall desire to be where your species typically is, and discomfort with being human.
I have a lot of these feelings but don’t consider myself such because I don’t believe that your past life can affect you that way other than having vivid memories. I don’t discredit those with the belief though because their experience is prob way different than me and I haven’t lived their life and seen what they’ve seen. Identifying as an animal doesn’t make sense to me, but it does to someone else and that’s all that matters to me regarding validity.
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Hi there! I have a genuine q. Why do you most kuro fans believe Seb and Ciel are in an intimate relationship (that's not shown explicitly to readers)? I get all the fanservice (fangirl over it tbh), but the kid -freaks- when others touch him. It's even happened with Sebastian. Yana sensei hints the cult assaulted him so all the 'don't touch me!' moments stem from that. With Ciel's visible trauma, I'm kinda scratching my head why so many people legitimately think Ciel wants to do his butler?
Hello, Anon ~
Wow, that’s a very interesting question! However, I’m afraid Icannot speak for the whole fandom, so I can only give you my personal opinion.
Definitely, one of the things that encourage theshipping is the fanservice. Yaoi fans are naturally attracted to series withtwo male leads, and shippers of any kind will always start shipping charactersthat spend a lot of time together, have a close relationship and make a lot ofphysical contact, as those are the things that lead to a strong bond (romanticor otherwise) in real life. So if you add some nearly sexual situations,suggestive comments and a certain amount of possessiveness, what you got is(something resembling) a relationship. It’s only natural that the fans ship it. Yet, I can seeyou’re hintingsomething deeper than a platonic relationship and, while I’m not one ofthose who believe that they fuck behind closed doors, there are severalin-canon reasons why such a thing wouldn’t be so unlikely.
1.- Sebastian’s character
Sebastianis portrayed in the manga as a very seductive human as well as a sinful demon.He’s what one would call a ‘lady-killer’, though it’s been made obvious throughthe manga that is not only ‘ladies’ that he’s interested in. We know he’s anexperienced seducer, but does he have any preferences?
Yana addressed this topic in a post she called “Sebastian’s favoritetype” ( http://akumadeenglish.tumblr.com/post/127400149717/sebastians-favourite-type ) and we were told that, when it comes to sex,Sebastian does not care about gender or age - a curious answerthat I believe is a subtle way of addressing the controversial topic aboutSebastian and Ciel age difference - and when having a long-term human partnerhe seeks an outstanding beauty as well as a high class soul, and the authormentions Ciel having those qualities. So we can deduce something from this;Sebastian likes Ciel. Maybe not romantically, as we know demons can’t love thesame way humans do, but there’s definitely some attraction beyond mere curiosity.Sebastian chose Ciel and he did so very carefully. This is not fanservice, butrather, a part of the character’s development, a confirmed canon fact.
Apart from that, we’ve seen Sebastian caring for Ciel many times in a muchdeeper fashion than the mere “omg, I’ll lose my breakfast!” I can’t list all themoments in which this is shown because there are many, but another bloggeralready did something similar. (See it here - http://rabid-bunny.tumblr.com/post/144133678003/i-was-wondering-do-you-think-sebastian-and-ciel)
So, we have attraction + care. Maybe that isn’t enough tosay that he loves Ciel, but for a demon, I’d say it’s close enough, so the ‘Seba’ part ofSebciel is definitely not unrealistic. Now we only have to prove that Ciel isjust as willing as Sebastian is.
2.- Ciel’s character
Manga is a somewhat strict comic type. It followscertain guidelines and tropes that, while not mandatory, are to a certainextent what makes manga to be identified as manga. Those guidelines ofteninclude certain character archetypes. Think, for example, of a shonenprotagonist or a shojo heroine. And I’m sure that, when you think of other shonenprotagonists, Ciel seems kind of out of place. Well, that’s because Cielis a shota.
Shota is a manga genre that showcases underaged boysin sexual situations. And while it may seem controversial to the eyes of awestern reader, shota is a genre Yana is familiar with.
(Image - To the left, a shota boy as portrayed in one of Yana’s previous works, Glamorous Lip. To the right, Ciel in a famous manga scene.)
That alone is enough to justify the possible sexualinterpretations of many of the scenes she has drawn, as they are not innocentlydone. The author knows very well what she’s writing about and she purposely teases the reader.But, as you say, Ciel is a character that has never shown any sexualinclination through the series, be it due to a traumatic past experience orsimply to his young age.
Ciel’s sexuality is a very interesting topic itself and I’d gladlydedicate a whole post to it alone, but I’ll summarize or this will be too long; Ciel isdefinitely knowledgeable about sex, whether he likes it or not. He isn’t innocent, asmany readers claim him to be. (“I’m already a ‘lady’” – vol. 02 ch. 07 – Ciel, when asked if he was tooyoung for “that pleasurable thing”.)
He’s also old enough in his universe, regardlessof realism on that matter, as other characters are already exposed to sexualityat his age or even younger (Siegleinde, Alois, Joan…) Yet he’s definitely notstraight.
Hehas expressed his disinterest in girls, women and marriage several times (“I don’thave time to associate with little girls”, vol. 01, ch. 02) and, while it maybe arguable that he has also refused his many male suitors (aka, asexuality),he didn’t hesitate when he had to use his ‘charm’ to seduce a man (ViscountDruitt, Edgard Redmond). He’s also been portrayed in many overly sexualizedscenes regarding men and, in fact, he also doesn’t get much female attention unlessthe eventual “aww, so cute…”, and the exception of Lizzy, his cousin, and Nina,the lesbian character, which suggests that the author is hinting the characteras homosexual.
Butthis alone doesn’t solve the problem of his fear. Ciel was probably abused,most likely by men, and he fears intrusive adults and intimate touches. Yet hedoesn’t seem to fear Sebastian’s touch, however. Yes, there was a moment inwhich he did, confused as he was in his illness, mixing reality with hallucinations.It wasn’t Sebastian who he feared, but rather the man his eyes were seeing.
(Image - Hallucination vs reality; vol.19 ch. 90)
All the other times, he seems quite comfortable withit, including intimate touch. In fact, they initiate physical touch with eachother all the time. But, as for whether that’s enough to overcome Ciel’s phobia, that’s open for interpretation.
3.- The very own nature of demons and the contract
Thestory of Kuroshitsuji is a tale of lust. Sebastian lusts for Ciel. He desireshim. He’s possessive and doesn’t let anyone else threaten what’s his. (“The simple fact that someone other than I touches the Young Master disgusts me enough” - Sebastian in the 6th episode of the second anime season) He enjoys making him lookbeautiful (see “Sebastian’s favorite type” again). He takes delight fromripping off his clothes (refer to the CD Drama of pure, unadulteratedfanservice - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9vTgzWL41U ) And more than anything he seeks to defilethe boy in every possible way. The more the boys sins, the richer his soulbecomes. And it is also a matter of pride. Sebastian is a sinful creature. Andhe’s never refused. Or he wasn’t — That’s is, until he met Ciel. Becauseno matter what he does, he never gets his Master’s approval. He keeps getting rejected.But he is perfection, so why is this?
Sometimes it looks like Ciel truly despises Sebastian.He belittles him, disrespects him and turns down any sign of affection. Onemight even think that they don’t even get along. But it’s not like it. Those around them can clearly see thatCiel trusts, needs and loves (romantically or not) Sebastian (vol 09, ch. 41)Still, the young earl is prideful and doesn’t show it. And Yana herself wrote yet anotherbeautiful post talking about this ( http://akumadeenglish.tumblr.com/post/110896308729/difference-between-alois-and-ciel-as-seen-by-yana ). It may not seem so interesting for those who don’t take theanime as canon, as it is a comparison between Ciel and Alois, but it definitelysheds some light to Sebastian and Ciel canon relationship, and it is indeed oneof Addiction vs Rejection.
“However manysweet candies ‘he’ gives me, Imust not be addicted to ‘him’.For 'he’ is not ahuman, but a beast.”
It shows Alois as the ‘weak’ part. The onewho surrenders, who falls into temptation. “Say that you love me” it’s one of hisquotes from the anime. It is very intense, in my opinion. Yet, that issomething we will never hear Ciel say to his demon, is it? That’s because Cielis portrayed as the one who doesn’t give in. He refuses temptation. He refusesSebastian. He will not let him be in control. But he does so only because hedoesn’t want thedemon to take advantage, not because he doesn’t enjoy it.
So, while I don’t believe that Ciel and Sebastian had ever had, sex, I’ll cite aquote that I like a lot, and it says “the Devil’s voice is sweet to hear”. So, those who believe that they did, are simplyassuming that Ciel gave in, that he surrendered to temptation. It is not aridiculous assumption, as such a thing is, in fact, a strong plot device ofKuroshitsuji. I can see how temptation could easily overpower fear. After all,Sebastian (or any other demon) is the incarnation of his Master’s desires. Hewould know what to say, where to touch… He would go asslowly as he needs, and whisper all the things Ciel yearns to hear. He wouldcomfort him, just like he always do when Ciel dreams about the things thathappened to him.
Somepeople believe that Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship would be one of abuse(well, what kind of relationship do you expect to have with a demon??), yetultimately it’s all to Ciel’s choice. Sebastian is just a dog on a leash.
So as to finally answer your question, I don’t believe thatCiel wants to do his butler, but rather, his butler wants to do him and it’s left to thereaders’ interpretation whether or not he will be able to do so.
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We Are Chicks, Hear Us Chirp
Is throwback. Still disagree with my beloved dead mummy in this case, but she absolutely was full of thought. Originally introduced:
03/31/00 Smokey G offers a valentine to chick wrestling fans everywhere.
As a card-carrying Player in the Being Human game, don't you love it when logical progression and magical influence converge in a place Where Things Happen? An example of this kind of convergence can be found at chicksonwrestling.com, the most electrifying website on the WWW. It is a COMMUNITY that embodies some of the finer characteristics we, The People, have been able to muster during our evolution. It positively OOZES with CHARASMA, Teamwork and Mind-meld. It EMBODIES a place where the sensitivities of the individual are delicately balanced against the commonly shared values. It ENCOURAGES Writers and RESPECTS Readers. Those who are building it are fluent and funny, with formidable talents. It EXUDES a generosity of Spirit and of Skill... from each, according to her ability -- to each, according to her need. It's a CHICK kind of place.
[NOTE: Readers are advised to refrain from inferring any intended disrespect directed towards the ovariologically-challenged members of the species. I like Guys. A LOT. But this is an ode to The Chicks.]
One of the website's ongoing discussions, naturally enough, is the Role of Women in the WWF. Chyna and (increasingly) Lita aside, I am not a fan of women who wrestle. My daughter, Chicks on Wrestling's D'Hood, asked me to ponder the nature of my own sexism and, since she didn't slap me, I did. Here's what it comes down to: I think men and women are DIFFERENT. I think gender-based attributes EXIST. I CELEBRATE those beliefs. Even though I also subscribe to the influences of male and female energy that are unrelated to gender, you are invited to SUE ME if my brand of Blatant Sexism offends.
More heresy: Women are LESS warlike than men. Since the framework I use to enjoy wrestling includes working out the propensity for WAR in a Safe Place, where's the pleasure in seeing something that's REALLY FAKE in my archetypal/stereotypical landscape? I just plain don't get it and I have a question for the Scholars associated with CoW, of which there are many. The People of the Mohawk Tribe, and many others, still enjoy a matriarchal society to a certain extent. As I understand it, their history includes a council of Menopausal Women who choose the Chief and have the Final Word on when to make war. But they didn't fight. What can you offer about other matriarchies? Did the Chicks actually get into the ring... go on the battlefield... in equal numbers? Curious minds want to know and maybe an answer will pop up on CoW's message board. We'll speculate. We'll swap ideas, share points of view. Sometimes the studies of human history or psychology strike me as simply sub-genres of GOSSIP, something Chicks have the muscles to engage in with breathtaking ease and artistry. We work out. It's not really a GUY thing, although some love to listen in.
Valets I get. I get the HO Train. I think they've got the GUTS that STRUTS, in addition to more obvious attributes. MANAGERS I really get. I've been told that in the 'secret' EST training, Werner Erhard taught people to think this way about gender: Men are basically Gorillas. Women are basically Gorilla Trainers. This opinion is probably prosecutable in today's environment, but, ya know, it kinda resonates for me. (That attitude has definitely contributed to my professional advancement and earning potential. I'm thinking of getting some business cards printed with 'Just Do What I Say, You Know You Want To, Incorporated'.) But anyway... I get MANAGERS, because what I want to see is EQUAL access to POWER. I want to see women doing the BOOKING. I want to hear women ANNOUNCING, contributing to the shared public perception of the event. I want to watch women parade in with their STABLES of arena fodder in the form of BUFF MEN.
When Stephanie told Linda that there was only room for one Dominatrix in the McMahon family and then slapped her, calling her a conniving (expletive deleted by UPN), I marked HARD. A power struggle at that level makes me dizzy. These ladies aren't EMPLOYEES of the company. They OWN a big chunk of it. Power of that brand is MEANINGFUL. Ask Jodie Foster. Ask Oprah. As women become more WILLING to be POWERFUL, it is my hope that they will not limit their goals to winning the Games Men Play. I hope Equal Opportunity will change The Game's DEFINITION by reflecting the ingredients and the goals that women bring to the table as they take their seats in greater numbers in the Corporate World, the House and Senate, and the arenas of the Squared Circle.
As far as influencing the Male Bastions of Sports Entertainment, this is the right time to be a Chick and chicksonwrestling.com is the right place to be. This is the leading edge, no pun intended... the very portal to the FUTURE of professional wrestling. Think about it. This is a BUSINESS. It's got to GROW. Where could the WWF look to pump up the size of its customer base? Mars, perhaps? Might be able to sell a few action figures but the PPV opportunities are somewhat limited. Hmmm. Well, this meeting's not gonna end until we come up with something. Hey, I've got an idea --- CHICKS! They've got money. More than EVER! Howzzabout we do some MARKET RESEARCH? Omigawd... have you seen this website? Let's read it EVERY DAY, figure out exactly what Chicks want... and then, we'll SELL it to them.
This scenario would account for a FEW of the phenomenal number of daily hits the site is averaging. And when I say 'phenomenal', I MEAN it. Modesty prohibits me from trumpeting any numbers. That's a Chick Thing, too. Thinking about the MATH of it all brings to mind another Chick Bias. I've been conducting an informal survey, the results of which are: Upon hearing the actual number of daily hits, Guys say, "You must be making money off of the advertising." Chicks say, "You must be having fun." Variations include "You should try to get a job with the WWF." (Guys) and, "They should give you free tickets to the matches." (Chicks). See the difference? Achievement/Objective-Orientation and Ongoing-Experiential-Level-Orientation. It's not about being LIGHTWEIGHTS, it's about having different CRITERIA, different ways of feeling SATISFIED, and different definitions of WINNING.
Wrestling is for BRUTES, the cuter the brute the better, and I honor them for what they DO. Germinating a new vision of wrestling, gestating new forms of expression, nurturing the dreams of a community of fans, feeding the ambitions of Boys who Brawl, weaving a witchy magic over a cauldron heated by the very fires of PROCREATION, giving birth to new entities in the world of Sports Entertainment... well, look at the LANGUAGE. It's a cry for Chick Magic. CoW hears the cry and delivers, right to the desktop. I've got two words for ya: READ IT! FEED YOUR MIND! IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!
(You didn't really expect a Chick to obey the word limit, didja?)
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How Much Would You Pay For Privacy?
Words by Alasdair Cannon
This is the bizarre question I have found myself pondering as of late. The question is bizarre because, well, one would assume that we have some inalienable right to privacy in a democratic nation. Right? Simply asking this question surely indicates a fundamental failure of governance, of regulation, or the market. Conversely, one might conclude that the notion of privacy has been plunged into a kind of Coasean nightmare, where our ability to be free from invasion is subject to bargaining, to the market logic of efficient distribution, to the skyscraping (campusing? If we’re gonna speak in the language of the companies in question) power differential between the individual and corporations in modern economies. One may be correct in either instance, too, which leads us to something of a truism: it is never easy when we must negotiate something we have perennially taken for granted, or when we must value what we believed to be invaluable (and not because it could not be measured, either).
In any event, the question is certainly a new one - or at least it probably isn’t something that people 30 years ago were overly concerned with. Why would they be? You (or the government) would have to be active, to the point where it was comparatively a non-issue, in telling (or collecting) your entire demographic and psychometric profile, and the history of your activities and movements, and all your wants, desires, preferences and interests. One couldn’t tacitly or incidentally just reveal all of this. Hell, even if you were utterly dedicated to revealing all these measures of your individuality to the world, even if you were possessed by a data-point exhibitionism of the most pathological kind, and you perversely wanted everybody to know you fundamentally, information-wise, you would still have a hard time of it. Data simply could not be collected comprehensively or efficiently enough to ground even individual concern over being so thoroughly revealed.
Today, however, we can and do give our whole selves away with a single click. And we do it in a manner that suggests an equilibrium solution: we value our privacy exactly in proportion to whatever it is the company stands to offer us.
Here’s an article from the Guardian that can help you freak out over that point.
No doubt, it is a question that I ask in light of recent events: yes, I specifically mean Cambridge Analytica, whose databases include ‘four to five thousand’ data points on every adult in the United States; whose platform relies on mass psychographic analysis of vast swathes of people as a means of generating a predictive model of personality for individuals and groups; whose product was employed in the most recent US election of Donald Trump, and in the primary campaign for Ted Cruz. (Watch this video to get a little taste: the man seems really quite proud of his product, and he really does give you a good salesman’s spiel about all the amazing things they know.) The public consciousness is properly fretting, perhaps for the first time ever, over the true influence of social media. We have been building to this for years of course – talk of shady contractual provisions and fake news being the breaking point for the outpouring of our collective anxieties.
I share a lot of sympathy for these emotions. The rise of social media and ICT as an overwhelming force for individual identity is something I have wondered about in increasingly panicked tones over the years, my internal intonation creeping ever closer to ‘paranoid-hysteric’, to that of a bug-eyed, frothing conspiratorialist, all fervour, dual-wielding copies of Huxley and Orwell, with Foucault buried somewhere in their coat pockets. No, I don’t own Discipline and Punish, but I certainly wasn’t far from this point. Indeed, there has been something of a positive correlate between the frequency of my tech-anxiety and ‘distance stumbled down garden path’: though mitigated to some extent by the countervailing forces of ‘kinda getting used to it’, ‘are you surprised by this?’, ‘who cares?’, and ‘there’s nothing you can do about it’, it has increased, absolutely. Crucially, I do not believe I am unjustified in feeling this way: recall, well, what I said a couple of paragraphs ago.
From when I first listened to OK Computer through to April 2018, the fear has escalated. Some discontinuous leaps were made: discovering the Google Beacon, for example, a nifty device that will be just, oh, everywhere in certain developed economies, which interacts with your smartphone as you move through public spaces, transmitting and presenting data constantly, an activity directed at unifying your subjective motives into one glorious vector of consumption. On a corollary note, here’s another good one: that day I bumped into someone I hadn’t seen for five years, and an hour later, Instagram lets me know I can follow them: now that’s convenience. Mutual benefit off the charts. There was also the day I realised (that is, I read what former Facebook developers had to say about their own platform) that, given we do not pay for Facebook or Google, that we were in fact, their products. That was a knock-your-hair back kind of moment for sure.
Before the Cambridge Analytica scandal, the object of my concern was the advertising revenues of Facebook and Google. Check out these graphs of their lifetime advertising revenue, for example. Between them, they grossed $135bn in ad revenue in 2017 alone. Facebook boasts 2.2 billion users, and though I lack an exact statistic, I believe we can safely assume Google likely has a similar number of unique users. If we assume the groups overlap entirely, then this puts the ad revenue per user at roughly $68 per user. To be safe, if we instead calculate the ad revenue per person alive today, it comes out at $18.50. So, the real number is probably somewhere in between – and given the past performance of these companies, don’t be surprised if it keeps growing. Their net profit per user is more modest than this: search engines and social media platforms aren’t cheap to run, after all. They also do provide an undeniably valuable service, and so these figures are justified, economically speaking. Crucially, though, the entire foundation of their revenue base rests upon the willingness of the consumer to simply give away something that is, evidently, extraordinarily valuable to these companies: their life in data. Irrespective of the value they add via their database and network effects, or the advertising services they sell, or the entertainment and utility they provide for free, these companies are wholly reliant on our initial, unwitting consent to donate to them our time and information.
And for what reward? What mutual do we derive for sacrificing our privacy at the altar of the internet, for slapping our knowable selves down on the counter? Their products of course; platforms that are today extraordinarily popular, and not only because they are useful and powerful. In the words of Sean Parker, early investor in Facebook, their design motive was couched in exploiting addiction and vulnerability: ‘How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible,’ he says. (Google is not complicit in this regard – it seems pretty hard to give a dopamine hit from a search bar, after all. Their product actually is that useful. It does, however, have a couple of implications for freedom of information and control of opinion – a topic for another time, maybe). Their bottom line relies on the maximum exploitation of the consumer at the lowest cost possible – an historic market relation that encourages continuous and absolute loyalty of the consumer to your product. And what better than the inelastic demand created by suckering the user into a state of addiction? As Thomas Pynchon writes in Gravity’s Rainbow: ‘The classic hustle is still famous for the cold purity of its execution’. Addiction, indeed, creates an ‘inelastic demand for that shit.’ It is a profoundly simple arrangement, based upon simple economics and human fallibility, reductive enough to a symbolically dichotomous relationship – despite its cynicism and denial of human good. Any degree of observation can confirm that both the consumer and the corporate giants have become entwined in an archetypal relationship, with each side of the historic dichotomy played unflinchingly: the naïve fool who, unware of the value of what they possess, is unknowingly exploited by the powerful. And in a fashion that righteously emboldens the cry of ‘abuse’, they have treated us with the disrespect a tyrant affords to the vulnerable.
Facebook’s Ad Revenue Worldwide from 2009 – 2017, in millions of dollars
Ahem. Well, if it wasn’t already self-evident, essentially, what I am saying is that these companies are no longer fucking around, socioeconomically speaking. When combined with the fact that our vulnerability and our proclivity for addiction is their product, this becomes problematic, to say the least. This therefore brings me to my point: I ask my initial question on whether we should pay for privacy in the broadest possible terms, for my concern fundamentally lies in relation to the growing dominance of the sociocultural forces constituted by social media, by search engines, by algorithmic targeting, by gargantuan psychometric databases, and by utterly pervasive online and mobile advertising. We are the known, the manipulated: the consumed and the consumer. Queue images of the snake eating itself, or perhaps more fitting for a late capitalist society, that weird rumour about Marilyn Manson and his rib surgery.
Clearly, Google and Facebook value the contents of our privacy quite dearly, and it is this fact which tacitly establishes the value of privacy in our economy. Giving it away for free, or for any amount equal to the perceived value of the product on offer is clearly foolish: to do so, unmediated by regulation or subjective concern and awareness can only serve to reinforce the pre-existing paradigm of our exploitation and disempowerment. Choosing to maintain this relationship would only attests to our indifference; to the absolute normalisation of the invasion and harvesting of our privacy; the colonisation of our mental space via the wonderful corporate algorithm; phenomena which all testify in unison to the powerlessness felt by the average consumer in a social media market controlled by some of the most advanced and powerful entities in human history. Maintaining this relationship is to welcome its logical conclusion, the inevitable and absolute extreme of personalised advertising: a utopia of prior-decidedness, of subjugated contingency. Is that a life lived in bad faith or good faith? It’s an authentic you, imposed upon you externally: a Sartrean knot if there ever was one.
Of course, the big one has only just arrived, the paradigm shifter par excellence as I would hope – the Watergate for the Zuck, if you will. Time will tell whether this brings about meaningful reform in the digital sphere. Given how long they have staggered untrammelled over the landscape of technological societies, how focused and efficient they have become in their practices of exploitation, I am not necessarily optimistic. Unless, of course, we learn from these companies, and come to realise the unmistakeable value of knowing ourselves: a condition that is inseparable from power over our own lives.
SEE MORE
http://adage.com/article/digital/sean-parker-worries-facebook-rotting-children-s-brains/311238/
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/nov/09/facebook-sean-parker-vulnerability-brain-psychology/
https://www.statista.com/statistics/266249/advertising-revenue-of-google/
https://www.statista.com/statistics/271258/facebooks-advertising-revenue-worldwide/
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