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treedaddymcpuffpuff · 2 months

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Flying/Dream to Believe (2 parter - part 2) (TW: mention of gore/fighting/rage/bullying)(mostly sfw)

@gea-chan96

Part two.

If there’s one place I absolutely hate with a passion, it’s the cafeteria.

I’d rather be in gym class than here, sitting alone and pushing my soggy noodles around a styrofoam plate. Surrounded by loud, rowdy peers that sometimes feel the need to make fun of me. Something about food and chubby people just don’t mix, apparently, so I get a lot of “is that your fifth tray?” Or “slow down, Hoss.”

Understandably, after I rearranged Nate’s face, there has been less and less of that. Now I just get ignored a lot. Which is better, but still not great.

Today, however, it’s different. Tommy and Leo plop down at my table like they’ve been sitting there the whole semester.

“What are you doing?” I ask them, and I can’t help my dry, uninterested, downright bitchy tone.

Tommy gives me this kicked puppy pout, which makes me feel really bad about my attitude problem that lingers from this morning when my family told me if I didn’t join gymnastics then I was taking a job at Uncle Vic’s antique store.

I hate dolls, especially old porcelain ones. It would be a bad experience.

Speaking of porcelain dolls, Stacy and Leah also take a seat at my table, which scares the shit out of me. Sure, I can punch a buff football guy in his mouth, but these two tiny gymnasts make me want to melt into the floor.

Leah saddles up to Leo, rubbing his shoulder and being flirty. Stacy does the same thing to Tommy. I hope I’m hiding the disgusting scowl on my face at this display, but I highly doubt that I am.

“Hey, y/n,” Leah says, playing with Leo’s hair, “I heard you’re joining the gymnastics team?”

Both of them give this melodic, chiming, grating laugh. Tinkerbell bitches. But, I realize something in that moment. I’m not afraid of Stacy and Leah; I’m afraid of what Stacy and Leah will make me angry enough to do to them.

“My mom is making me,” I say.

“No offense, but aren’t you a little large to do the stuff we do?” Stacy asks, placing a hand on Tommy’s shoulder.

I look at him, expecting his face to be red and blushing, drooling like an idiot over Stacy - smitten and dumb, but Tommy, instead, is staring at me apologetically, like he feels bad?

I would have preferred the smitten look. Anger spikes my brain. I don’t need pity, I need revenge. “The stuff you do?” I don’t even recognize my own voice. It sounds more like something off Discovery Channel predator week. “You mean prance around putting everyone else down because you hate yourself and not even being that good at gymnastics in the first place? That the stuff you’re talking about, Stacy?”

Her face puffs up like a blowfish, and I feel myself smiling - this sinister, numb curl of my lips that just happens on its own while she turns purple and furious.

Aw, someone’s mad.

“Listen, you fat bitch - “

“No. You listen, Leah.” I look back at Tommy, whose usually soft face is pulled into something kind of…. scary. “Y/n is actually pretty cool, and you’d know that if you stopped being a spoiled, bitchy princess for a few seconds of your miserable existence and just talked to her.”

For a second, the collective table just looks at him while he goes knives out and directs it all at Leah. She shrinks under his gaze. Stacy’s hand drops off his shoulder and she scoots away. Even I’m kind of.. what’s the word? Not scared, exactly. Thrilled? Yeah, I think that’s it.

The chocolate lab is actually a rottweiler? What a turn of events.

Leo is also looking at Tommy like he’s seeing him for the first time.

Leah goes from scared to scowling. “I’d watch your mouth Tommy, or Mark will kick your ass.”

“Go get him,” Tommy nods, “let’s see.”

“Tommy,” I say his name, hoping to diffuse this.

He turns to me, and I expect him to keep the scowl, but he trades it for a kind smile. “It’s cool, y/n, let me handle these jealous bitches.” The last word ends on a curled horn point as he flips around to pin Leah with his psycho glare again.

“There a problem here, Tommy?” Right on cue, Mark steps up to our table like some kind of bouncer at club high school cafeteria. Jesus, not Prince Charming here, too.

“I think you should teach him a lesson, Mark,” Stacy says, grabbing Mark’s hand and standing beside him like she’s the First Lady and we are mere peons.

I can’t help it that my eyes are rolling.

“Yeah, there’s actually two problems,” Tommy tells Mark, also standing up to face him. And if I was mark, and mark was smart, personally I’d be a bit intimidated. Tommy’s got some height and bulk on him.

However, Mark is failing four subjects for a reason - he puffs out his chest, and stands toe to toe with Tommy.

Ugh, boys.

“Hey, you two.” Mr. Alan is walking towards our table, yelling and drawing the attention of the few people in the crowd we haven’t interested yet.

And I was actually starting to like being ignored.

“I suggest you boys agree to disagree before you both land yourselves in detention.”

Neither one of them even look at the teacher - they’re too busy staring one another down.

Mr. Alan places a warning hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Warneki, you hear me?”

The little standoff breaks up, but something in the way that they maintain eye contact even after Mark sits down across the cafeteria tells me it isn’t over.

“Hey,” I tell Tommy, “I don’t need your help, you know that?”

Tommy shrugs, looking at his milk carton instead of me. “Too bad.”

I start to open my mouth to say something to him, but he’s already up out of his seat and slamming through the cafeteria doors.

Leo sighs. “What crawled up his ass?”

I don’t see Tommy for the rest of the day, and it’s making me feel like a total shitbag. What kind of ungrateful person says that to someone after they just defended them?

Sure, to me it may have seemed like he was doing it out of pity, or to keep up appearances, but Tommy probably really did just want to defend his new friend.

And now he’s going to hate me. Awesome. This just proves the fact that I’m hard to get along with. The report cards and my dad are right.

Without Tommy, Leo and I don’t really have common ground, so we part ways awkwardly and don’t talk for the rest of the day. I’m isolated again because I can’t keep my fat mouth shut. Fantastic.

It’s a cool autumn day on my walk home from school, and I have my hands shoved in my pockets to keep them warm. I try to stop thinking about the friendships I could’ve had, but maybe my loner facade has finally come to an end, because I am pretty upset. There’s this heavy feeling in my ribs that makes me understand the term ‘heartache’ more than I’d like to.

I hear yelling from somewhere down the block. Sounds like a group of my classmates are antagonizing a fight. It makes sense - the shouts are coming from the old sugar plant, and that’s where people go for scheduled brawls. I punched Nate on the bus, because I don’t need plans, only my fists and rage.

I’m surprised no one has called the cops on these idiots yet. Has to be a big fight by the sounds of it, and the surrounding neighborhood is a village for older folks, so the cops usually do break it up sooner rather than later.

Tommy’s dad - one of the guys on the police force - got his arm broken last year when a kid tried to smash another kids head in and his foot accidentally landed on Mr. Warneki’s arm instead. I remember it was the only thing everyone could talk about at school the next day.

Tommy. I sigh, kick a rock, hoping it will bring me some sense of peace like it does in the movies, but I just feel bad still. Wait. Tommy. Mark. The fight.

I look down the street leading to the old building, trying to catch some of the words that the yelling voices are saying. Shit. Is Tommy fighting Mark?

I book it as fast as I can, which isn’t very fast at all.

By the time I make it to the crowd, I have to shoulder through to the middle, where Tommy is sitting on top of Mark and hitting him in the face - that’s a lot of blood. I’m not thinking about anything but this idiot going to jail when I tackle him off of the smaller guy.

He grabs me, too, and I fall on top of him, probably breaking his ribs and maybe his pointy pelvis while I’m at it.

But he doesn’t seem broken. He looks up at me, sweaty and red faced and mad - at first. Then, his face gets calmer, and he smiles. “Oh, hey, y/n.”

I don’t know what to say to him, so I roll off his body and land ass on ground, rubble digging through my jeans.

He sits up, still smiling pleasantly at me as if I’m not a huge asshole.

“I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else I can say.

“It’s fine,” Tommy says, waving me off. “I got it.”

Mark is still lying on the ground, and I would think that he’s dead if it wasn’t for the low groans of pain rolling from his swollen lips.

“Your dad’s gonna kill you, Tommy,” I tell him, looking away from the bloody scene.

I’m wrong, his dad does worse. He takes him, in handcuffs, down to the station where the rest of the group are gathered for questioning. Apparently Mark is not here because an ambulance took him away.

“He was crying like a bitch,” Amber says, making me cringe. Stacy and Leah are on the opposite side of the room, surprisingly not glaring or scowling at me. Not even looking my way at all. Strange.

When Tommy walks in with his hands cuffed behind his back, his dad leading him through the crowd, he looks at me and gives me a big, toothy grin.

I should think he’s a total idiot. I should be mad that he decided to play knight. I should be annoyed that he’s acting like he’s top dog. And I am all those things, but I’m also…. I’m flattered. I feel liked. I understand why he’s the usual hot topic of the girls in the locker room. I get why the popular crowd doesn’t pick on him. He’s actually a pretty good guy.

Man, I really hope he doesn’t go to Juvie or prison or something - that would suck for my conscience.

It takes almost all evening for the cops to talk to each one of us. I decide to tell them about Mark and Tommy in the lunch room, hoping that will help the big idiot’s case a little bit.

After I’m released, the sun is down and the heavy wind scatters colorful leaves across my shoes.

“Hey, y/n.” I turn around to see Tommy sitting on a sidewalk bench.

Oh, well, at least he’s free to go. I walk up and sit beside him. “You know,” I say, “you’re alright, Tommy.”

He giggles. “Well thanks. Same to you.”

“How’d it feel to hit him?” I ask, kinda wishing it was me that got to do it.

“Felt like I understood why you liked punching Nate.”

He makes me laugh. “Yeah. I am sorry, though. Are we still….. friends?” I keep telling myself that if he chooses to say no, I’ll be okay with it, but I feel my heart tearing at its seams already in anticipation of that.

He looks confused. “What? Yeah, of course.”

I try to not smile so big at him. I really do. But, I’m actually delighted. “Oh, cool.”

His grin is worrying. I only have a second to wonder what the cheeky look is for until he’s pulling me under his arm and messing up my hair. “Aw, you thought you could get rid of me?”

I roll my eyes, keep the smile that’s just getting bigger despite his gentle bullying, and grumble, “can you be anymore annoying?”

“Absolutely.”

#keanuverse #flying #dream to believe #chubby reader #plus size reader #fic requests

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callmearcturus · 1 year

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oh god where did i leave off. oh fuck i left off with THAT? oh geez sorry

in my defense, the music in the next area is great so i didn't want to leave and i'm almost to the boss i think? Reverie, Yukiko, and Kanji make a DEADLY team, and while I am Big Mad at Yosuke:

he starts every battle first and has tentafoo/Cause Panic. so. he's just maddeningly useful, idk what to say.

Huh I somehow thought the other character was next but it's Rise time!

Man. I like Rise a lot. Out of all the romance options she's the only one I'm considering at all because she's neat. Rise is an idol who is taking a break from the business to return home to Inaba and recuperate. And right from go, she is just on another level from everyone else.

She knows about the Midnight Channel (though doesn't understand it's a supernatural hit list yet) and is aware of the dangers around her. The Idol business in all its forms across the world fucking Sucks and it's clear to see it's had an effect on her, like emotional stretch marks from having to mature really fucking fast. She's been in her late 20s since she was 13 and it shows.

Oh and she's working in her family's tofu shop for the time being.

/googles ganmodoki

oh i would try this in a fucking heartbeat. Also, Yosuke, bro, what do you mean you don't eat tofu. Like... no tofu ever? I'm American and I eat tofu. It's good.

(I do genuinely want to eat more tofu but I cook for a whole household and they are less willing to let me experiment with tofu. Please pity me. 8C I heard if you squeeze out all the liquid or even freeze them first, they become really easy to fry? Anyway. Sorry, I cook a lot.)

Anyway aw shit Rise inadvertently reveals to Dojima that we're working this case. Worse, Dojima is not immediately angry or confrontational about it. OH NO, he purposefully avoids being confrontational about it.

Instead he puts Adachi on our tail.

Look at that man's face. Does this motherfucker have a single candle on behind those eyes.

Which leads to discovering a stalker who Adachi arrests as the murderer.

GODDAMMIT ADACHI. Whatever, it gets him out of our fucking hair.

buuuuut in that time, Rise got got. goddddddfuckingdammit.

An idol who's shadow self is on some level genuinely an exhibitionist. Whoo boy that's... a lot. Also, out of all the shadows, I find Rise's the most creepy, weirdly? Maybe because Idol Culture scares the shit out of me and I don't even remotely understand the appeal. It's like this terrifying black box of concepts I can't divine anything out of.

In TV World, I feel SUPER BAD for Teddie. I keep flying through these dungeons in one or two days and not really coming back to the TV World to see him. Which is a shame because I genuinely love Teddie! I think he's top three characters for me right now.

I was trained in the unhallowed halls of Tartarus, I know how to curbstomp a dungeon, okay? I wish I was around more for Teddie. 8C

YOSUKE HANAMURA WE ARE GONNA STEP OUTSIDE IF YOU MAKE TEDDIE SAD, DO YOU HEAR ME?

i just went from Big Mad to cackle in like a minute. CHIE OH MY GOD. "Aw buddy, you're sad? Yeah, you can hit on me, I'm cool with that!" i'm dying. it kind of says a lot about Chie's opinion of Teddie vs everyone else since she's the one who shoved the boys into the river at camp.

She has standards, is what I'm saying, and I respect them immensely.

say what

omg yes yes yes yes yes yes lemme see it what is it

STAR SOCIAL LINK: GET. THE STAR IS SO FUCKING GOOD FOR TEDDIE TOO! The Star comes after darkness has fallen and you are lost in the night with no sense of direction. It is the pinprick of light in the distance, the hope that gets your feet moving again after the despair has settled in. It is not a promise of warm or answers or completion, but it is sign that the story is not over, that you aren't over, and encourages you to follow to the next page.

TEDDIE IS GREAT FOR THE STAR, AAAAAAH!!!!!

#p4 #persona liveblog

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my-chaos-radio · 3 months

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youtube

Release: October 13, 2003

Lyrics:

I'm feeling all messed up

Right

Don't want to bring you down

But I am really needing guidance now

What would you do within my shoes

(don't cry) I'm going crazy

(stay high) I've never felt so low

(don't hide) I want to turn and run

We've got to find a place to go

So when you're feeling kind of mixed up

Just remember it's a mixed up world

And when you're feeLing life is just too tough

Just remember you're a real tough girl

I look around my life

And all I see is contradiction and a lack of faith

Cynicism rules the day

I know it has it's place

But I am really needing guidance now

Reminding me I'm strong inside

I know you love me

(stay high) and we'll make it through this time

(don't hide) I want to feel the sun

We've got to start to take control

Songwriter:

do I feel this pain

(why) has this world gone insane

Gregg Alexander / Matt Rowe / Sophie Michell Ellis-Bextor

SongFacts:

"Mixed Up World" is a song by British singer-songwriter Sophie Ellis-Bextor, released on October 13, 2003 as the first single from her second studio album Shoot from the Hip (2003). The single contains a B-side called “The Earth Shook the Devil’s Hand”. “Mixed Up World reached number seven on the UK Singles Chart and was particularly successful in Denmark, where it debuted and reached number three. 35,000 copies were sold in the United Kingdom. The music video for the song features various dancers wearing a mix of light and dark colors.

The Rupert Jones-directed music video features men in bowler hats as Ellis-Bextor moves between giant black and white punctuation marks. It was the first video to show Sophie's blonde hairstyle. A short excerpt from the video was shown in an ad on Australian channel VH1 in June 2006.

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cooganbegs-blog · 1 year

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What a week.

SBO has continued to vomit and apparently he has major swelling at the op site from last week. He’s going to the vet this morning and thank god for technology I’m dialling into the appointment today between meetings.

Had such a lovely dinner which some alternate product Queen Bees last night! As I was walking back to my hotel I realised that as much as I love living far from the madding crowd, it is nice to visit and experience all the modcons of a city!

Finally managed to find a decent hotel where I don’t feel like I’ll catch Ebola every time I take a shower! I can’t shake my tight-arse inclinations, even when work is paying! But moving hotels choice across the track from Haymarket to Surry Hills has proved a good one, much better, plus less of a walk to all my usuals haunts! There’s something nice in revisiting cafes and bars that are still up and running from way back to when I lived here.

Work is full on. There’s some interesting dynamics in my peer level leadership team that has created a spill and an escalation to the exec team yesterday morning. We have a group of 17 people, the only criteria for being part of the group is that you have direct reports. The accountabilities, objectives and outcomes of the group have never been defined. We were given a business KPI to deliver this quarter. There are 5 people out of the 17 who jump in, engage, discuss, debate and participate every time (yes, I’m one of the eager beavers!!) The rest either don’t log in, have their cameras turned off and say nothing, or log in, say nothing then log off early. So the frustrations of carrying the vast majority of the group has surfaced, aided by some breaches of trust within the group. I’ll own it frustrates me (harking back to group work at uni!) where I would do all the work and everyone else would get my marks. It’s the same thing, but I’m not sure this ego/kudos for doing the work is a nice reflection on me. As the CTO pointed out, the exec team knows who is doing the work so what does it matter if the others are still in the group and don’t contribute.

Integrity is word that has been so abused, it’s pretty much lost all meaning!! It when I interact with the 4 other managers in my group I’m trying to stop the whinging and turn it into a “what can we learn”, “what can we do better”, as opposed to “they suck”, “they need to get booted out”. Some part of me doesn’t want to seem like the goodie-two-shoes, but if we have been given an opportunity to be part of a leadership team, isn’t part of that behaving with some kind of restraint?? I mean I get that at the per level, being able to vent and share pain and frustrations is important. But, I guess it’s how you do it and blaming other people is never helpful. I’m trying to channel compassion and curiosity, and encourage them to do the same. As I said, “we all fuck up, it’s just a matter of when. I’d hope that when I do fuckup badly, which I will at some stage, and as some others are doing today, that I’ll be extended the same empathy and support that they would like to be experiencing from us” it’s hard trying to hold myself to some kind of benchmark as well as doing the same for others.

But I did get a very nice shoutout from one of my peers in marketing: “The world, and EzyPay, could do with a lot more Libby’s. You are calm and methodical in your approach to problem solving, and I’m thrilled with the opportunity to learn from you. Thanks Lib!”

It’s nice to be seen!!

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sweetmaple · 2 years

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Okay. Hi. It's almost July. (It is now actually July, but it was June when I wrote this. Whoops.) I just finished In Space with Markiplier. I have so many feelings and now it's everyone else's problem.

To be clear, I haven't yet done my customary ending-hunting for part 2 at the time of drafting this because I got what I'm certain is the best possible one the first time and had to sit down for a minute.

I don't post much about Marker-Pliers, despite having watched his stuff regularly for an amount of time that makes me feel old for my relatively small amount of years, but this time I gotta say something. I've become increasingly impressed over the years by his ever-growing Markiplier Cinematic Universe, his lengthy list of Egos, and the way his creative visions (and his budgets) seem to grow and complicate themselves in new and interesting ways each time he comes out with a new project. I'm sure that if (when?) he makes more content for the MCU we will all be falling over ourselves again in wonder/astonishment/praise, etc, and MatPat will be shaking in his boots trying to fathom how the new content fits into the existing lore. For now, we have ISWM. And I think it is the best thing Mark has done to date.

Part One of ISWM feels fairly standard. It has the choose-your-own-adventure format we've come to know and love, it has maddening easter eggs, references to past channel lore, goofs and gags, all the good stuff. I could tell it was trying to pose a more significant question to watchers than previous adventures, but it didn't push me to think especially deeply. I fucked around, but I hadn't yet found out.

Part Two....Part Two got me good. My choices mattered more and yet I had even less idea of what would happen when I made a decision. The identical branches of wormhole obfuscated my future so I had no way to predict how my choices would affect my path until I'd already acted. I could even make the same choice without knowing I was doing so, thereby perpetuating the loops I was stuck in. (An unconscious replication of the cycle of abuse, perhaps; an interesting callout to those of us who have been in that situation before, and possibly a reference to something that may have been part of Mark's journey as well.) I tried to follow Mark for a while and choose the paths that he fell through, but that quickly became impossible when other important characters like the Lady fell in the opposite hole (what if I was supposed to follow her instead? Did she hold the key to solving this whole mess?), or I witnessed multiple Marks going in opposite directions. I couldn't please everybody. I couldn't always make the right choice. Snap decisions are hard for me, especially when I know I could potentially hurt someone, and choosing blind only to discover I've repeated an old pattern was discouraging, to say the least.

But I had something no one else had: a back button.

What kind of power is that? And what kind of world is it where only one person has it? Most of all, why me? Putting us the audience in that situation is like, what? I am God? Except I'm just some guy. Knowing I'm just some guy and I never wanted to be much more than some guy, really, maybe learn how to love well and take care of my friends and my community, and I was just trying to get people to safety as well as I could, but now I'm here and somehow I've become immortal, and yet everyone seems to know more about what I'm doing than I do, or if they don't then they place all of their trust in me anyway, and I still have to make choices that are potentially world-ending -

And that's how it feels to grow up. That kind of terror. I'm told I stand at the crux of everything and I look at all the people around me who made all the wrong choices but they can't or won't tell me how they got there and I am still expected to choose. Now.

And at the end of it all, when I've made all the wrong choices despite my power and I've hurt so many people and I can't even know how far-reaching the consequences of my actions are because I'm just so small in comparison to all the things I've done to the universes, and who decided it was a good idea to give me this much power anyway - after I see the despair and confusion and pain and regret and guilt I feel reflected on the face of a human being I've held and comforted in my arms as he wept, lifetimes ago - after I wake up behind the same glass door of the cryo-chamber that I've seen a hundred times and feel the drop of a stone into my gut at the thought that it might have been meaningless, that I was unable to save even one person from pain - after all that, do you know what Mark says when we choose to Hold On?

"Thank you. For, uh, not giving up on me. Just...thank you."

And I am rewarded by what happens when you hope.

I step out of that formerly hellish frozen portal to the faces of my crew. They are smiling. They chatter amongst themselves. The colony made it to our new planet after all. I took care of my community. We took care of each other. The satisfaction and pride I feel has no words, only a swelling in my chest that feels too big for my bones as I accept my mistakes and realize that, without all the stumbling and the opportunities I misjudged, I never would have made it here at all.

So, in fits and starts, we come to the end. Always fearfully looking over our shoulders towards the past, always rooted in the steps we take in the present, always with eyes shining in wonder and hope as we consider the many permutations of the future. The end credits roll as I sit back on my bed, slowly coming out of the world Mark has created. I breathe. I reflect on the journey I have taken, with him and with many other people, whether they knew it or not. I open up a blank document and start to write.

#iswm #markiplier #markiplier cinematic universe #the power of media the universality of the human experience etc etc #thanks for coming to my ted talk lol #rant #kind of?#iswm spoilers #just in case #iswm meta #maybe #i just kinda word vomited and then hit post idk

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tessandscottforever18 · 2 years

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May 17

Being Connor Brashier: Meet the 22-Year-Old Boy Wonder Shaping Shawn Mendes’ New Vibe

In just a few years, Brashier has already worked on some of the biggest projects of Mendes' career, from art directing the single cover for 'Senorita' to serving as creative director for the singer's 'Wonder World Tour'

On the First Monday of May, Shawn Mendes strolled out of New York’s Mark Hotel and into a waiting car for the roughly half-mile drive to the Met. A gala red carpet was awaiting him.

Wearing a custom Tommy Hilfiger jacket and suit, the singer drew comparisons to everyone from Lord Bridgerton to a Disney prince. Whatever the comparison, his regal presence was palpable. And though Mendes stepped onto the Met carpet solo this year, he wasn’t entirely alone. On this night, as on most nights, Mendes was trailed closely by Connor Brashier, the singer’s friend-cum-confidante-turned-creative director. If Mendes’ Met Gala look saw him crowned as fashion royalty, consider the camera-toting Brashier his charming courtier.

At just 22 years old, Brashier has already worked on some of the biggest projects of Mendes’ career, from art directing the single cover and promo materials for Mendes’ “Senorita” collab with Camila Cabello, to serving as creative director for the singer’s upcoming “Wonder World Tour.” The Laguna Beach native is responsible for much of Mendes’ merch too, and advises him on everything from styling to social media.

In the same short years, the self-taught photographer and videographer has also worked on projects with artists ranging from Kygo to Madison Beer, while helming campaigns for brands like Flow Water and Frankies Bikinis (starring Mendes and Sofia Richie respectively, natch). To hear Brashier talk about it though, the lines have always been blurred between work and play.

“I would always be the person in my group of friends who would just go out and get the camera, shoot whatever I shot, capture whatever I captured and then come back and edit it,” he says, hands cupped over an Americano on a recent afternoon back in LA. “But it never crossed my mind that that could lead to a career.”

After tailing Beer on tour — shooting behind-the-scenes videos and photos for the singer’s social media channels — Brashier landed a gig with the DJ Frank Walker, who wanted help with concepts for his tour and album covers. Brashier and Walker worked together for about a year before a chance meeting with Mendes’ manager led to Brashier shooting the singer’s Global Citizen Festival set in 2018. “I did it and kind of like instantly bonded with Shawn and they liked the video and the next thing you know I was on tour,” Brashier recalls. When the tour (the aptly-named “Shawn Mendes: The Tour”) ended in 2019, “[Shawn] kind of approached me and he was like, ‘Hey dude, I want you to have more of a creative director role.’ I was texting my friends to be like, ‘Whoa, this is crazy,'” Brashier says. It was the first time he had been approached for an official “creative director” role. He was 20 years old.

Since then, Brashier has been a constant presence by Mendes’ side, most recently working on the music video for the singer’s new single, “When You’re Gone,” in addition to consulting on Mendes’ Met Gala look (the two were also spotted high-tailing it to Miami recently for the Miami Grand Prix). But Brashier has been a welcome presence for Mendes as well, serving as a sounding board and companion in the midst of music industry madness. It’s something Mendes says he appreciates the most about his teammate, colleague, and now, best friend.

“Connor is brilliant,” Mendes tells Rolling Stone over text. “I feel he is deeply tapped into what it means to be an artist. Everything he creates is a reflection of his heart and I’m constantly blown away by the beauty he’s able to pull out of things.”

“The thing I admire most about Connor though,” Mendes says, “is his ability to support and inspire the people around him to be the artists we know deep down we truly are.”

Over coffee with Rolling Stone, Brashier — on this day dressed in a faded oversized hoodie and baggy jeans — talks about how he landed his dream job, his connection with Mendes and why you don’t have to know it all to succeed — as long as you know your worth.

Rolling Stone: Congrats on Shawn’s new single. What was the thought process behind the video and the single artwork?

Brashier: “When You’re Gone” is really the first time we have gone into a release without any “world” we wanted to live in. Instead, we aimed to bring back the Shawn that fans and viewers in general don’t get to usually see, or at least hadn’t in a while — just Shawn in his natural element writing, rehearsing, performing.

What about the cover art?

The artwork is an especially interesting story. We actually had a plethora of ideas inspired by old Sixties and Seventies photos and covers of Bob Dylan, The Beatles, etc. and had a design we all thought was strong. About a week later, after announcing the song, our tour photographer, Miranda McDonald, shot this super cool frame of Shawn on stage at SXSW silhouetted by one of the screen visuals. The next day, I saw a fan edit on Instagram of that shot mocked as cover art and Shawn, myself, and the rest of the team instantly knew we had to use it. Shoutout to @distorted.vinyl on Instagram for making my job easier than ever! (laughs)

It’s pretty incredible that you get to work with one of the biggest artists in the world right now. Did you always want to get into the music and creative industry?

When I younger, I was a big surfer and skater and everything you do in Southern California. I think as soon as I picked up a little GoPro — not even an HD one — I started realizing like, “Hey, my friends are a lot better at surfing than I am and a lot cooler than me, so I’m going to start filming them [instead].” And I think after that, I found a passion specifically for editing videos. But it never crossed my mind that that could lead to a career.

Was there a moment where that thought changed?

It wasn’t until I think I was 17 or 18 that I started connecting the dots. I started to be like, “Okay, like I really love something about movies and something about film.” And so I posted my videos to YouTube and then kind of made an Instagram video account, eventually posting like 15-second clips cause that was the limit back then. I did the whole Vine thing too and I remember I had to hack into Vine to be able to upload a video back then (laughs). And I guess it all started there.

Do you remember what your first “big break” was?

My first real industry opportunity, I would say, came through Madison Beer. We were both kids — I was 17, she was 18. I met her when I was assisting on a photoshoot that one of my best friends Sam Dameshek was doing, and she just loved us and we started hanging out and she took me on her U.S. and European tour. It was the first tour I ever went on. It was also my first time in Europe.

Madison Beer: When I first met Connor, I instantly knew he had a natural and undeniable eye and talent. I was lucky enough to meet him at his very early stages and take him on my first tour with me. His progression through the month-long tour alone was so impressive, let alone the last four years since then. He is also just one of the most kind-hearted and fun-loving people [that] I’m lucky enough to call a friend. Seeing him blossom into such a visionary and impressive talent has been such a gift.

What do you remember about your first time working with Shawn?

He asked me to put together a little deck or mood board for a few of the songs for Wonder. On the second page, I brought back a memory that we had of talking about David Bowie’s big stadium rock anthems, and Shawn just went like, “I don’t know how to describe it but it’s like wonder,” and that became the theme for the album. After that deck it was like, “Here we go, us two — let’s figure it out.”

What Bowie reference did you use in the deck?

The iconic album cover with Aladdin Sane. He’s one of the best references anyone could include.

How would you describe your role on Shawn’s team versus other teams you’ve been a part of?

It’s tough because to this day, I don’t think anyone entirely knows what the word “creative director” means. With Frank [Walker] I was able to be like, “Okay, let’s make this a little cooler, a little more like fresh, and you know, more youthful.” It was about establishing a brand and so [the job] felt like it was more of an overall branding opportunity more than anything. And when we started with Shawn, it was about the same process and helping with the same content. But if the pool was four-feet deep with Frank, it was 20-feet deep with Shawn and I was learning how to swim.

What’s the process like when working with Shawn?

When I joined the team, I noticed that we were always on the road. For a full year, Shawn was very focused on touring, but he had a few singles come out and he’s always like hovering over what everyone’s doing or working on, and I’ve never seen him so involved in the creative process in general. So it’s good that I can report directly to him because he’s the one who approves things, not the lawyers, the people at the label, or managers, or whatever you want to call it.

“Connor is brilliant,” Mendes says. “I’m constantly blown away by the beauty he’s able to pull out of things”

Do you think people were skeptical of you at first, like, “Who is this kid and how did he get this job?”

A hundred percent. I think it’s always been that way for me. I’ve always been the youngest kid on set and the youngest kid on tour. And you know, to a certain extent, you have to like step up in the chair. You can be a kid — Shawn and I, we’re the same age, we’re both kids and we love to be kids — but when you’re put in a very professional setting I think you can make up for a lack of experience with just being a good person. Carry your name with the good reputation, build strong relationships and be kind to everyone in the industry. You know, that goes longer than any form of my opinion.

Also, all these guys on Shawn’s team don’t treat me as inferior — they treat me as equal. I am very lucky that I can say that, and I think it comes from being friendly and wanting to reach out and also just being honest, like, “Look, I don’t really know what the fuck I’m doing, I want to learn from you and see what you do.”

What’s your day-to-day like?

It depends on what we’re working on. There are two things that really stand out when someone releases a song: cover photo and music video, and so those are the first two things that kind of get in the back of our mind. Everything unravels from there. I try to be very involved with the treatments and work with Shawn and with the director. And then we just start shooting and see what feels right. A lot of stuff goes on behind the scenes that’s hard to describe. Like, my roommates are two of my friends that I grew up with and even they’re like, “Dude what do you even do?”

But there’s lot that goes on behind the scenes, a lot of long-term projects that don’t see the light of day for a year. We’ve been working on Shawn’s tour designs for a year now. So some of these things take a lot more patience than I’ve been used to. You know, so many ideas get thrown out and then we have to start over. Sure, some weeks I’m not doing much, but other weeks I’m working 16 hours.

What is your creative process like?

I believe creativity is not a method nor magic, but a combination of both. I set my intentions to patiently learn the method, while allowing the unpredictable and unexpected (magic) to come.

I try not to approach anything too heady as far as like, you have to offer the craziest, most creative, original idea of all time. Because I don’t think that’s the right way to do it, and I don’t think that serves Shawn’s music. To answer you: Shawn and I will both say it’s all about the vibe, the emotion.

For the “Wonder” video, some of it is based on a TikTok I saw of this guy dancing in a storm. I was like, “Wait, these are two opposite things” — like there’s this dark storm and this guy’s just out there dancing, having a good time, right? It looks so free. And I was like, “That’s pretty cool.” And so that music video is like a parallel, contrasting the rain and storm with freedom and expressing yourself.

A lot has been made about you working with this huge global superstar. Do you feel any pressure to succeed?

As an artist, Shawn’s pressure is different than for me. I don’t feel pressure to deliver anything good ever as an artist. I believe in myself and I feel capable of a lot of things. But I think more than that, it’s just the relationship I have with Shawn. You know, he’s one of my best friends and he’s my boss and the best boss I could ever ask for, and that honest sort of dialogue that we’re able to have is because we’re so close. We trust each other and it’s stripped away all the pressure because it’s not like I’m spending two weeks on a PDF of cover options and sending it to him. We’re talking about it day after day and going back and forth and, you know, before the cover’s even established, we already know what it’s going to be. And if it doesn’t work out we’ll go try it again.

“I believe creativity is not a method nor magic, but a combination of both”

At times we have felt a little bit of pressure on things like “Okay, this has to be marketable,” or like, “Make the text a little bigger.” But as far as pressure to perform, I’ve never felt that and I attribute that all to Shawn; he protects everyone under him really well.

Anything you’ve had to learn quickly?

I think I could be better at my expenses and my payroll (laughs).

You’ve talked about how your vision for a video treatment or photoshoot is usually aligned with Shawn’s. But have there been times where you haven’t seen eye to eye?

There have been times where like, me and Shawn have been on set and we have our opinions, but we’re all so tightly knit, like a family, that we can give each other attitude, and bounce back in ten minutes. I have such an open conversation with Shawn at all times. Once I’m proud of something, it’s easy to be like, “Shawn what do you think?” and he’s like “Love!” or “Hmm, I’m not really feeling this.”

I’m definitely stubborn and I love hearing my opinion, and it took me a while to realize like, “Hey, Shawn knows his fans better than I think any artist [does].” So whatever he says, he must be connecting to them in the right way and in a way that I am not.

What’s a concept or idea you pitched to Shawn that never went through?

At one point I remember he had long hair and I was like, “Let’s do something crazy with your hair: let’s dye it, let’s spike it up, put on some makeup; it’ll become your new look, like the Bowie look!” And he was like, “I think it’s really cool but I love my hair the way it is and I’m not going to change it.”

I think a few of my ideas took a little bit too much commitment. Plus Shawn knows how to do his hair really well.

Aside from the failed Bowie idea, how have you helped to evolve Shawn’s image and branding since you started working with him?

I think I had to mature up to Shawn. Because he started in the industry so young, but he’s also raised so incredibly well and he’s an old soul. And the music also progressed and that helped a lot. A lot of his younger pop hits were written when he was young, and now he’s looking to constantly evolve his sonic landscape and I think that’s always the outline and framework for what we can do – does it match the music?

Considering the music got more mature, it made it easy for us to try more artistic, left-of-center videos and photos. But I think there are two sides of artistry, and I appreciate both. There’s like very honest songwriting about what you’re doing [and] how you feel today. And then there’s the sort-of fantasy world where artists might lie a bit to push [an idea or aesthetic].

Some songwriters can only write what they’re feeling in a honest way and I think that has to be mimicked in an honest visual way. You know, I couldn’t have been like “Okay Shawn, let’s go emo,” right when he got the girlfriend and he was on top of the world. That wouldn’t have made any sense.

But we also change things up. I mean, he wore skinny jeans for like 105 shows straight. He was very excited to go more like, Sixties and Seventies, with a little bit more flair, and go a little bit more baggy, while still maintaining the integrity of who he is and what he likes with the classic tank top that he wears.

I feel like Shawn’s 2021 Met Gala look was a big departure for him.

It was Michael Kors. I remember I went to the fitting and we had some amazing custom fit suits and they all looked great and then they took us to the archive section and there were all these black suits, which is not something Shawn would really wear but something he’s always wanted to wear, to be like the rock star. And then we were like “Shirt? No shirt?” Shawn was like “What do you mean? I want to take my jacket off; I want to go fully shirtless.”

You don’t get that edgy side of Shawn too often because that’s not him, but I think he loves to play dress up and push his artistry like, “Here’s my look today, let’s have fun today.” Shawn loves to play around and put on makeup or eye shadow for a shoot or be shirtless or something like that. He knows what people want.

What other creatives are you inspired by?

I’ve been very lucky that I’ve been surrounded by some of my favorite creatives in the world. Like Glen Lutchford shot Shawn’s cover photo and he’s one of my favorite photographers of all time. I’m on set with Matty Peacock who’s a jack-of-all-trades who’s been doing so many things for so long. I really look up to David Fincher, who’s a director that’s really created his own style.

Artist-wise, I like Tame Impala, Playboi Carti, I love what the Dominic Fike team does – I think it’s all very special. I love Olivia [Rodrigo’s] stuff; I think her stuff is amazing.

But I also think there’s a really dangerous trap when you’re uninspired, to look at what other people are doing. I think that’s a really dangerous thing to do, and whenever I’m out of ideas, it sounds weird, but I honestly like to just literally put on my AirPods, get up and move around my room, close my eyes listening to the song [and] just feel it and get into it.

What advice do you have for people who want to do what you’re doing?

Use your youth and inspiration that you get as a kid and that jittery feeling you get. When you produce something that you love, run with that and fucking fly with that, because it runs out and that is when you’ll make the most progression as an artist and as a person. And don’t let one bad experience or a few bad experiences drag you down and pull away that inspiration. Use it to fuel you to do something bigger.

But I would also say to treat every situation with a sense of gratitude and try to learn from everything and don’t come on set thinking you’re the big guy. But come on set with a professional demeanor, a chill demeanor and if you don’t have that yet, go on set and learn it. You’re going to learn it quick.

Can I add something else?

Of course.

I can’t claim anything as my own. It’s all about the big grand operation, you know? All of Shawn’s team is like one big family and they took me in. I’ve been so lucky that I trust the team a lot and there are really really cool young people who work with us.

I’m also lucky that I’m surrounded by people who are so good at what they do to the point that even if I disagree, I can trust that their opinion.

Anything else to add?

You know, I wanted to come to this interview acting like I knew my shit and the truth is, I really still don’t. I’m still figuring it out. But I actually think there is something about that process. And like I said about being thrown in the deep end and learning what it meant to be a creative director, I’m very lucky that I didn’t know what to fear. So that stripped away a sense of pressure and I was just focused on approaching every situation like, “Here I am, I’m giving it my all and I’m not looking back.”

I think that can apply to a lot of young people, if they choose to see it like, “Wow, I lack experience but I balance that with extreme gratitude and inspiration.” That’s priceless.

#shawn mendes #connor brashier #rolling stone #interview: rolling stone

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temple-of-truth · 11 months

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Temple of Truth Episode 4#2 (492, but all undesirable numbers are ohm-itted) Transcript

Saturday, June 23rd, 2063

Hello, Truthers of Night City! Thanks for tuning into Temple of Truth, whether it’s your first time or the last time. Today’s episode is a big one, but before we dive into that, let’s get through the weekly report.

In case some of you all haven’t been outside, it’s been extra hot this week with the start of summer. The moon’s in waning crescent, and the highest Zodiac constellation is now Cancer, if we could see it. Residents of Heywood have been complaining about blown fuses up and down the streets—which of course we’re supposed to believe is just the heat. And, finally, today’s Truest Truther is Kathy from Rancho Coronado, who called in last week with some truly brilliant observations about her neighbors’ new satellite dishes. We thank you for your viewership and vigilance, Kathy, and we hope your son’s baseball game goes well.

Now, onto the big news. The huge news. This was so exciting that I almost did a special episode yesterday, but I figured it would be better to plan things out. Oh, I don’t even know how to start with this. My brother Ohm and I—if you don’t know who Ohm is, she’s really the brains behind the whole show. I’d never be able to get all this gear set up without her. Anyway, Ohm and I were out doing some investigative work. It wasn’t for our core mission, but we had met some cool new friends, and anyway, all truth is the truth, as we always say. I’ll keep the details to myself for the sake of a few people’s privacy, but Ohm and I ran into a real, actual, confirmed agent of the Sisters. It was… it was life-changing. To be there in his presence, I mean, I could feel his power and benevolence washing over me.

We knew he was alien from the moment we met him, and we had a good sense about him. But our suspicions were confirmed when he started talking about how he used to travel through space but had been staying on Earth for a while. I mean, this is exactly the kind of trajectory that we thought these agents of the Sisters would have. He was speaking to us in coded, indirect language: he told us he wasn’t an alien because it was clear that, for whatever reason, he had to keep his identity a secret. Ohm and I picked up on this, so we stayed extremely subtle and clandestine. No one suspected a thing, which is what the agent likely wanted.

He also mentioned an organization called the “Green Thumbs” which runs community gardens. Since yesterday, I’ve done some research into them. On the surface, they’re a community group that uses the few fertile spaces around the city to grow vegetables to improve nutrition. But if you look closer like I did and start to connect the dots on the map, the locations of the gardens form a flower-like shape—just like the Pleiades. Ohm and I need to do more research and testing to figure out whether this is only a symbolic choice on the part of these Green Thumbs or if it has a functional purpose, maybe for communication or even transport. As always, if any of you listeners have any tips or theories, we’d love to have you call in during Truth Time on our show tomorrow. I’ll also be sending out copies of the marked-up maps of the Green Thumbs gardens through our various channels.

Another major revelation from this agent of the Sisters is that the Trauma Team is good. The agent said that he appreciates what they do. We’ve been looking into the Trauma Team for quite a while, and as many of you know, the Trauma Team being good appears like it would disprove many of our theories. But this is actually a hugely helpful piece of information because we’re now closer to the Truth. Every step, even backwards ones, is a step in the true direction.

And finally, a bit of a teaser for our next news episode: earlier this week, Ohm and I met a real vampire. We’re working with her to come on the show for an interview. That was actually our original plan for this episode, but obviously the encounter with the agent was urgent news.

Alright, that’ll wrap it up for this episode. It’s a bit of a short one because Ohm and I have got to head off to an event tonight. But I hope it was an exciting one for all you Truthers out there listening. It’s hard to describe how important meeting a real agent of the Sisters is to getting closer to the Truth, but I’m sure all of you listeners understand.

Thank you for tuning into the Temple of Truth. If you want to be the Truest Truther for the next episode, make sure to either call in tomorrow or send your theories through our virtual channels. Good night, and remember to keep your ears open and your eyes on the stars.

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docrotten · 6 months

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ISLE OF THE DEAD (1945) – Episode 163 – Decades Of Horror: The Classic Era

“I meet my old familiar enemy, Death. I’ve fought him before. I’ve won, often. Now he wins. Let him come for me.” Yes, Death is a resident of this particular island. Join this episode’s Grue-Crew – Chad Hunt, Daphne Monary-Ernsdorff, Doc Rotten, and Jeff Mohr – as they journey to an island cemetery off the coast of Greece in Val Lewton’s Isle of the Dead (1945).

Decades of Horror: The Classic Era Episode 163 – Isle of the Dead (1945)

Join the Crew on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel! Subscribe today! And click the alert to get notified of new content! https://youtube.com/gruesomemagazine

ANNOUNCEMENT Decades of Horror The Classic Era is partnering with THE CLASSIC SCI-FI MOVIE CHANNEL, THE CLASSIC HORROR MOVIE CHANNEL, and WICKED HORROR TV CHANNEL Which all now include video episodes of The Classic Era! Available on Roku, AppleTV, Amazon FireTV, AndroidTV, Online Website. Across All OTT platforms, as well as mobile, tablet, and desktop. https://classicscifichannel.com/; https://classichorrorchannel.com/; https://wickedhorrortv.com/

On a Greek island during the 1912 war, several people are trapped by quarantine for the plague. If that isn’t enough worry, one of the people, a superstitious old peasant woman, suspects one young girl of being a vampiric kind of demon called a vorvolaka.

Directed by: Mark Robson

Writing Credits: Ardel Wray; Val Lewton (uncredited), Josef Mischel (uncredited)

Produced by: Val Lewton (producer); Jack J. Gross (executive producer)

Music by: Leigh Harline

Cinematography by: Jack MacKenzie (director of photography)

Selected Cast:

Boris Karloff as Gen. Nikolas Pherides

Ellen Drew as Thea

Marc Cramer as Oliver Davis

Katherine Emery as Mrs. Mary St. Aubyn

Helene Thimig as Madame Kyra

Alan Napier as St. Aubyn

Jason Robards Sr. as Albrecht (as Jason Robards)

Ernst Deutsch as Dr. Drossos (as Ernst Dorian)

Skelton Knaggs as Andrew Robbins (uncredited)

Sherry Hall as Col. Kobestes (uncredited)

Erick Hanson as Officer (uncredited)

Rose Hobart as Mrs. Mary St. Aubyn (in long shot) (uncredited)

The Grue-Crew join producer Val Lewton, director Mark Robson, and legend Boris Karloff for a quietly creepy and haunting masterpiece from RKO Radio Pictures, Isle of the Dead (1945). This is the second of three films Lewton and Karloff would make together (along with Bedlam and The Body Snatcher) and the fourth of five films Lewton would make with Robson. The tagline promises, “Will Keep You Screaming!” – and, this time, it just might. Check out what Chad, Daphne, and Jeff take away from this undeniable classic.

Here are the other Decades of Horror Classic Era episodes on Lewton-produced movies:

CAT PEOPLE (1942) – Episode 37 – Decades of Horror: The Classic Era

THE BODY SNATCHER (1945) – Episode 66 – Decades of Horror: The Classic Era

THE SEVENTH VICTIM (1943) – Episode 97 – Decades of Horror: The Classic Era

At the time of this writing, Isle of the Dead can be found streaming from multiple PPV sites and is currently available on disc as a Blu-ray from the Warner Archive Collection.

Gruesome Magazine’s Decades of Horror: The Classic Era records a new episode every two weeks. Up next in their very flexible schedule, as chosen by Daphne, is The Head (1959), a German film whose original title is Die Nackte und der Satan. Head transplants, a hunchbacked nun, and a sexy dancer. You definitely won’t want to miss this one!

Please let them know how they’re doing! They want to hear from you – the coolest, grooviest fans: leave them a message or leave a comment on the Gruesome Magazine YouTube channel, the site, or email the Decades of Horror: The Classic Era podcast hosts at [email protected]

To each of you from each of them, “Thank you so much for watching and listening!”

Check out this episode!

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mingzisdrgongxuo · 8 months

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It's 7:30pm I have turned the lights on in my apartment and opened the patio door on the balcony.

and this guy is "Magically" done jerking my chain all day while I was off the grid and showing no signs of activity inside.

(it's not a leash because I'm not your dog.)

Is that illegal to do without advance directive?

Did the groundhog see his shadow today or not, NEIGHBOR.

Was I being tormented for not showing signs of life until I humor this amateur hunter, chain-jerking

bullshit provoking me, trying to flush me out?

I ordered food delivery and went to building entrance to greet him and get my food.

All this stuff was knocked over and off of the small table.

I placed it back where it belongs, where I put it.

Did the wind take that lampstand from me too, holier than thou asshole?

I know I didn't turn that light off.

Was that supposed to match rent-a-cop's doorstop from last night?

Was that to bait me too?

Was I supposed to show you what my interior decor looks like so you can pinpoint my location?

Then what, psychopath?

Sounds like the kind of shit Mark Desmond,

the pacific bell phone company guy, that claims to be F.B.I. would do....

according to the contract electrician, Ken Christiansen,

who's wearing an American Airlines baseball cap, and desribing when Mark does the exact thing to him in his house.

Fishing without a license. Or legal entry into my home. Nothing belongs to you. You are not on base, you are not my basic training instructor. You are not allowed to inspect my room on your goddamn whim without telling me.

Is that Election integrity too?

Maybe I'll go buy shampoo for my new carpet cleaner after this dickhead is trying to start shit with me.

I'm not going to take my hatred for you,.. or direct, or channel the energy you corrupt, out on somebody that "didn't earn it."

I would put working cameras in plain sight with a clear view up and down the hall to see everybody that goes in or out of any tenant's door. As well as above the rose garden and fountain since apparently people think they can get away with shit when noone is watching them.

You would do it to catch me. You've tried to pin that kind of shit on me in front of my friends too, haven't you, dick leaky?

You want them to take away your muscles to flex on people too?

You trying to use my mouth to kiss your ass for you too, dick? since I refuse to.

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jkbabiey · 2 years

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PAC: What will be your future spouse's first impressions of you?

Hey! I've decided to create a PAC game for y'all. Welcome!

This will be about what your future spouse will think of you in your first meeting.

There will be 4 groups. You should choose the one you feel more drawn to (if there's more than one group that's drawing you in, you can choose more than one). Each pile will describe what they feel when they first see you. I also channeled a quote and a song that will give off the same vibes they'll get when they see you.

How to choose: Close your eyes and focus on the question of what will your future spouse think of you when they first see you. When you open your eyes, try to look at the different groups and see, intuitively, what group is calling your name. Follow your intuition.

THE GROUPS:

Group 1

Your cards: King of Wands (rev), The World, Page of Cups, Ace of Cups, Queen of Swords

Your future spouse will definitely think of you as a very youthful and creative person. They will see you as a breath of fresh air and they'll automatically think you're the cutest. I think they will see you as a very intelligent, yet, very inexperienced person. Your future spouse will look at you and think that you're very motivated and absolutely goal-oriented. They may even envy you a little bit because they'll think you're way too put together for your age (???). Maybe there's an age gap between you two, for some of you (because I'm hearing 'I wasn't like that when I was their age' - so they may admire you for that). They may think of you as 'perky', I'm seeing. I think they'll also notice how witty you are, like kinda sassy but in a very playful and youthful manner. Your energy kind of reminded me of Arizona Robbins from Grey's Anatomy (???) -- maybe you should check that out. They may see you as the type of person who thinks the world is pink - if you know what I mean. Like, maybe you daydream a lot, so they got that impression of you. But on the other hand, I'm also seeing that they may be impressed by your wittiness and intelligence. They'll want to know more about you. You will intrigue them.

(Sorry that your reading was a bit shorter than the others, but this message was very clear and direct, so it wasn't very difficult to explain. :))

“Such aching mystery hides, in your stardust-glimmer eyes.”

- John Mark Green, Taste the Wild Wonder: Poems

Group 2

Your cards: The Lovers (rev), Queen of Wands, Temperance, Page of Cups, Page of Swords

Another intelligent group. Your future spouse will, right off the bat, see you as a very intelligent and interesting person. They will see you as a very strong person with very good debate skills and a clear speech. The first time they see you you may not be talking directly to them, but to someone else or to a group of people, and they listen to you and admire what you're saying - something like that. I'm also getting that your future spouse may think you're somewhat ahead of your time. Like you don't belong to this era because your mind is so ahead of the rest. You may be a futuristic person, always thinking ahead. On the other hand, your future spouse will also admire the way you can be so gentle with your words. You may have a very gentle aura or way of speaking, or maybe a very airy voice, idk. I think they'll admire the patience you have with everyone around you.

I think this is the group that attracts secret admires :) Your future spouse may be someone who will be crushing on you from afar for a loooong time. You may even catch them staring at you sometimes. BECAUSE THIS PERSON WILL HAVE THE HOTS FOR YOU. The cutest part is that they won't be crushing on you JUST because of your appearance, it will be most of all, due to your brain and personality. CUTE!

“Reading your note, at our table, in my voice, I heard you were ready to accept my love, Which, of course, changes everything.”

- Misha Collins, Some Things I Still Can't Tell You: Poems

Group 3

Your cards: Page of Pentacles (rev), Ace of Wands, The High Priestess, Strength, The Emperor

Your future spouse may be quite spiritual, and I'm getting that their first thought about you is that you also seem very spiritual. I'm thinking that they may think of you as a person who exudes a very special aura. And they may fantasize about you. That escalated quick. I'm getting that this person may have a few fantasies about you tbh, but not necessarily naughty ones. I'm more inclined to the cutesy stuff. This person may think you two have a lot in common and they'll actually fantasize about what it would be like to talk to you and get to know you.

Besides that, I'm also getting they may see you as a very secure person, you may make this person feel secure and cared for. They feel comfortable in your presence, I think. This person may think you are a very accomplished person too. That is coming very strongly - They will feel very comfortable with you.

I don't know why but I'm getting best friends to lovers kind of shit. Maybe your future spouse was your friend, and you two will get closer and it will grow into something more. Cute.

I heard that you may be the only one who is able to calm this person down when they're stressing out. They feel calm next to you.

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Group 4

Your cards: The Devil, Queen of Wands (rev), The Star, Judgement (rev), The Hanged Man (rev)

So we have our first group with bad first impressions. You may not like what I'm gonna tell you but it's what the cards are telling me, love.

Your future spouse may be judgy of you at first sight. I'm getting that this person may judge you because of your past in the first meeting. You may meet this person after a rough period in your life in which you're taking time to analyze yourself and get back on track but this person may see that as a weakness. They may also think, that you think you are better than those around you. I think that your future spouse may not like you right after meeting you because they'll see you as someone who thinks you're better than other people.

Now, I'm not saying that's the case, but they may think it is.

They may also think you're quite arrogant, tbh.

In all honesty, I don't think that's the case at all. I'm getting that when you meet this person, you may have just gotten through some bad experiences, like a toxic relationship or something like that, and you are beginning to realize your real worth. Let's say that, due to this recognition of self-worth and the bad experiences you've been through, you will kind of build some "walls" around you in order to protect yourself. You won't let people get as close to you as you used to. These may lead other people to think you're cold or rude sometimes. And I think that will be the case for your future spouse.

“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

That was the game, sweeties!! Hope you like it! I'll probably make a few more of these - such a fun experience!! TAKE WHAT RESONATES!!

#PAC #future spouse #pick a picture #pick a card reading #pick a pile #Spotify

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utilitycaster · 2 years

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Bells Hells: Level 6

As always: corrections on outright inaccuracies/major omissions are welcomed. If I did not list every single spell or feat or implication of something, it's because it's not relevant to do so and if you want to list them out in full, make your own post.

Also I am using the D&D Beyond Blood Hunter class as it currently stands, but Matt has been updating it, so if things change, don't @ me.

Level 6 is a subclass feature level for most. Additionally, the full casters who have not multiclassed get a third level three spell slot. Let's dive in!

Ashton: Their subclass is homebrew so I don't know their path feature, but they will get a path feature. He'll also get a fourth rage per day.

Chetney: If he decides to continue with blood hunter: he gets a second blood curse, the ability to use blood maledict twice per rest, and the Brand of Castigation. What this means is: well, he gets a second blood curse (in addition to curse of the marked), he can do two blood curses per fight if he wants, and Travis gets to do unto Matt's NPCs what Lucien did unto Fjord: he can know the direction to the target (so long as they are on this plane) and he deals 2 psychic damage (int mod) to the target every time they try to attack him or his allies.

If he decides to take a level in rogue: I'm not opposed to *a* level in rogue, but as a strength-based character there aren't a ton of benefits for him in terms of damage so this would largely be utility. He would get one additional skill from the rogue skill list and proficiency with thieves' tools. As for the skill: one of the charisma skills might not be bad so that he doesn't have a flat zero. He also gets expertise in two skills, knowledge of thieves' cant, and a d6 of sneak attack but only on finesse weapons.

[my opinion: take the rogue level after L6 blood hunter since that's a really good blood hunter level. Ideally just stop after that or 2 levels. Absolutely do not take more than three rogue levels total or I guess four if you want to not miss an ASI, and if taking 3-4 rogue levels, do it into thief, mastermind, or scout. Inquisitive is nice but it overlaps a lot with what Orym will get.]

Fearne: Fearne can prepare an additional spell. She also can cast spells through Little Mister when he is summoned, and while he is summoned, she gets a bonus to healing spells and fire damage spells. Finally, Little Mister's HP goes up by 5 (as it does every level-up).

Fresh Cut Grass: Like Ashton, he's working with a homebrew subclass that I don't know. Often, the level 6 cleric feature is either a new channel divinity ability, or an improvement to the existing channel divinity ability. The number of spells prepared per day goes up by one (same mechanism as with Fearne's prepped spells), and they can use Channel Divinity twice per rest.

Imogen: Imogen learns another spell. She also gains two subclass features: first, she can use a number of sorcery points equal to the spell's level, rather than spell slots, to cast her psionic spells (shock flare, dissonant whispers, mind sliver, calm emotions, detect thoughts, sending, and seething storm). If she does this, the spell is essentially fully telepathic - no verbal nor somatic components, and material components are only needed if the spell consumes them. This feature will also apply for her later psionic spells that she gets at levels 7 and 9 as well. Second, she gains resistance to psychic damage, and advantage on saving throws against charm or fear effects.

Laudna: Laudna took a fourth level in sorcerer, which grants her an additional second level spell slot, an additional sorcery point, an additional sorcerer spell, an additional sorcerer cantrip, and a feat/ASI. Personally I'd go with the ASI to bump up her charisma.

Orym: Orym gets another ASI/feat, because fighters get them literally almost every other level. Because he gets so many, he can kind of just do what he wants. One smart move would be to bump up his con score (given that he's a frontline tank) and either intelligence or wisdom (given this party, I'd do intelligence). He could also take a feat, and one that bumps up his con score would gracefully sidestep the whole wis/int debate. I would personally go absolutely wild if anyone were cool enough to take the chef feat, but I don't necessarly see that being Orym's vibe; another good option for con score is Second Chance, which is halfling-specific and lets him force a reroll essentially once per combat of a hit to an ally, in addition to bumping up con (or charisma, but he should do con; this party is not lacking for charisma).

For other feats that don't change scores: medium armor master would possibly be good in terms of bumping up Orym's AC to even more ridiculous levels; the Mobile, Tough, and Sentinel feats are classic melee character feats for a reason; and Shield Master would basically grant him evasion.

#critical role #bells hells #critical role spoilers

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aphrostarot · 3 years

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Next Significant Relationship Pick a Pile

Who is your next partner and what will the relationship be like?

Please remember that this is a general reading and some things may not apply to you. Don't force it to fit. I offer paid readings on my page if you would like a personal reading. Prices are listed there. Please message me or email me if you are interested!

(All poems are in Perry Poems: A Collection. You can find it here)

Pile One:

Who is this person? What are they like?

Nine of Winter:

This is the nine of pentacles in this deck. Usually, the Nine of Pentacles represents a woman, but not always. A person represented by this card is highly feminine and an extremely independent individual. They are very hardworking, they appreciate the finer things in life, and their hard work has allowed them to enjoy these things. Your next partner will embody this energy.

King of Autumn:

In this deck, this is the King of Swords. Besides being a hard worker and extremely independent, this person is also calm and collected. Before making any decisions, they weigh the pros and cons of every situation. Your next partner will be someone you can turn to when you have trouble making decisions. They are a very mature individual, someone who is extremely logical and can sometimes appear to be judgmental.

How will you meet?

Three of Spring (Reversed) and The Crow:

One or both of you will be in a state of disarray when you meet this person. It will be difficult to make decisions in your life, maybe even in one particular area. Several directions will be pulling at you, and you won't know which one to take. Your progress in your personal development will be affected by this. The energy I'm receiving from this pile indicates that it will be you who is struggling and that when you meet this person, they will be drawn to you because they feel like they can help you, and ultimately they will.

How will you know it’s them?

The Lupin:

The Lupin is a highly intelligent and confident individual. Here your guides are telling you that the way you will be able to know that this is your person is by recognizing that they exude these qualities. As far as the environment goes there may be some flowers around you when you meet which is a sign to you that this is your person. You or they could be wearing purple as well.

What will your first impression of them be?

The Goldfinch:

The first impression you will have of this individual is that they are a very organized free spirit, willing to travel. Initially, you may be intimidated by their confidence and their refusal to get involved in drama or chaos. Initially, their eyes may also catch your attention and seem beautiful to you. If you are highly spiritual, you may even observe that this person's third eye is open whether they are aware of it or not.

How will they affect you?

Ace of Winter and Queen of Autumn:

When you are with this person, you will find that you have so many opportunities. You will become extremely passionate about your career and life choices. You will become more aware and even more in control of your path. Pursuing your dreams will be so much more fun because unlike in the past, you will know exactly what you want. With this person, you can regain control over your path and enjoy life again.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

The Empty Cottage and Eight of Autumn:

It seems that this relationship may not be a good one. Although this person will provide you with many opportunities in your career, they are not healthy for your mental health. There is a strong possibility that they are very possessive and jealous in your relationship, which isn't healthy. Your anxieties might get worse or they may not understand the reasons for your mental health. The problem is that the person is extremely rational and does not deal with emotions very often, whereas you are an extremely emotional person. Relationships like these do not mix well and you may end up feeling very alone as a result.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

The Lighthouse:

One or both of you may be lacking in the stability department and also in the confidence department. I believe that it may be you that is struggling in this department and your guides are telling you here that this is blocking you from entering this relationship at the moment. I know that with the way that I just described this relationship you may not want to enter this relationship at all and so you may be saying “what is the point of clearing out these obstacles if it won’t be a good relationship.” to that your guides have to say that you are meant to be in this relationship. It won’t all be bad in the relationship, there will be good, especially when it comes to you getting out of a funk and finding joy and drive for your passions. This is something that is needed in order for you to excel in life. This person is meant to help you in your career and your passions, which is why you are meant to be in this relationship.

How to break through those obstacles?

Ace of Spring:

To overcome these obstacles, you need to become aware that this person is going to push you to pursue your passions and career further. You will learn how to succeed in your passions and career through this relationship, regardless of how short it may last. As your guides are telling you here, this is what you need to hold onto so that you can move forward with this relationship.

What will you learn from this person?

King of Winter:

You will learn how to be a successful and driven person through this relationship. It may not be good for your anxieties and your emotions but it will be good for your career. The two of you may have a lot of 10th house overlays in your synastry chart because the energy of this relationship is not at all emotional, it is way more career-centered.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

Pile Two:

Who is this person? What are they like?

The Hermit:

The person may be a Virgo or have significant Virgo placements or energies in their chart, more than likely they are a Virgo Rising. This person is wise beyond their years and prefers their solitude. They are extremely observant, and constantly seek to expand their knowledge. Additionally, they may even have a deep connection to spirituality. All that being said, they are highly sensitive, especially to judgments and criticisms from others.

How will you meet?

King of Swords:

You might meet them at work, and either you or them will have some authority. Based on the energy I am getting from the two of you I believe that it will be them who is in authority. Once you start working for them, they are struck by you and your presence. You are constantly on their minds, and they watch everything you do. The two of you will be following a very common office romance trope.

How will you know it’s them?

Seven of Pentacles:

Your future may not be something you enjoy thinking about or planning. You don't seem to be a type A at all. Your preference is to go with the flow rather than make a solid plan. It might however turn out that, once you meet this person, you have a greater sense of direction and need to plan your future in a more structured manner. It is quite likely that this person is very much a planner and a critical thinker, so when they are around you will be trying your best to impress them. It is for this reason that you will begin to become more like that person. It is also possible that both of you will be wearing red or blue when you meet, which will be a sign that this is your person. Question marks may be involved in your meeting as well. They could be in the environment or you may find that you are very curious about this person which will result in you wanting to ask a lot of questions.

What will your first impression of them be?

King of Wands:

When you meet this person, you will think they are extremely confident. Their ability to lead and their determination to achieve their goals will impress you. As friendly and outgoing as they are, I can tell you that it may seem intimidating at first because you are really hoping that they will like you, and they can be hard to read so you aren't sure what they think of you.

How will they affect you?

The Hanged Man:

Part of you knows that there are aspects of yourself that do not serve you. Despite this, you continue to do nothing about eliminating these toxic behaviors from your life. This person will help you to do this. They do not tolerate toxicity, especially from the person they are pursuing, so when you begin to see them, they will work toward helping you eliminate those behaviors. This enables you to lead a healthy life.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

Temperance:

It will be a very satisfying relationship for you both. Together you will build a solid foundation and live very comfortably. In the end, you'll feel at home with each other, seeing each other as family. Perhaps you both have never experienced something like this before, and for you both, it is a breath of fresh air.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

The Heirophant:

You may be stuck in a pretty traditional mindset especially when it comes to love. In that, you may believe that dating your boss is very unprofessional and that other people will think you are sleeping your way to the top. The last thing that you want is other people viewing you negatively and in your eyes, pursuing this is a disaster waiting to happen. According to your guides, this mindset is currently blocking the two of you from coming together.

How to break through those obstacles?

Page of Cups:

Your guides are telling you here that the way for you to release these blocks is by allowing yourself to feel emotions. You can’t help who you fall in love with most of the time and that is the case with this person. Instead of denying yourself this relationship, your guides are encouraging you to allow yourself to express your feelings, especially when it comes to this person.

What will you learn from this person?

Death:

As we have discussed, you have some toxic behaviors that you refuse to let go of, and this person will help you let go of them. In this person, you will learn how to shed the old side of yourself that doesn't serve you anymore and be transformed into the person you were created to be.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

Pile Three:

Who is this person? What are they like?

The Moon:

This person may be a Cancer or have significant Cancer placements, more than like they are a Cancer Rising. They are a natural daydreamer and will stop at nothing to make their dreams their reality. Because of this, they have very strong opinions about how and what they want their world to look like. They tend to struggle when it comes to trusting other people because they wear their heart on their sleeve and have gotten screwed over quite a few times because of it.

How will you meet?

Nine of Pentacles:

You may meet this person right after you make a significant purchase in your life, whether that is a house, a new car, home renovations, or even garden improvements. They may be the person who helps you get these things done, or you will simply just meet them around this time in your life.

How will you know it’s them?

Five of Pentacles:

It really does seem like you will have just purchased a new home or you will have some renovations in your current home around the time you meet this person. I say this because in the imagery on this specific card you can see a door with a house key. I believe that when you meet this person you will be in a great place financially but they will not be. You may even need to provide this person with a place to stay. You will know it is them because they are in a very dark place when you meet and you will be in a very bright place. This will lead you to want to help them get back on their feet.

What will your first impression of them be?

Eight of Pentacles (reversed):

You may not have a good impression of them when you first meet them. You will think that they are lazy and have a bad reputation, especially when it comes to money. I get the feeling that you will know who this person is because they may be a family friend or a friend’s friend. However, you will not have officially met this person or really gotten to know them, hence you having quite a bad impression of them. I think that someone will ask you to invite them to stay with you and you will say yes even though you don’t want to. This is because in your eyes this person has gotten to their dark place because of their own actions and you feel like helping them will only encourage their behavior. However, you will be wrong about your impression of them and once they come to stay with you, you will see a different side of them and realize this.

How will they affect you?

Ace of Swords:

You will experience many powerful emotions with this person. They will make you hate them so much one day but then the next day you will be madly in love with them. You may have been in relationships in the past that were filled with simplicity and ease. You will experience an entirely new type of relationship with this person, one that will send your adrenaline soaring.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

Eight of Wands:

You two will never grow tired of each other. Even when you are apart, you will always want to stay in touch. Whenever you are with this person, you will feel as if you can tell them anything. With this person, you will feel at ease, and you won't worry about what others think of you because of how comfortable you feel around them. You will be able to fully express yourself around them without fear.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

Three of Pentacles (reversed):

Right now your ego is getting in your way when it comes to this relationship. You may believe that you are better than this person and therefore you do not need them in your life. There is another part of you that may even be struggling when it comes to working in teams, you currently prefer working on your own and do not go out of your way to hang out with other people or work with others. Your guides are saying that this is blocking you from experiencing this relationship.

How to break through those obstacles?

The Tower (reversed):

You have been holding off the inevitable for quite some time now because you fear change and this person will be bringing you to change. Your guides are telling you here that you need to release your fears and allow this person to come forward. They are telling you that they have your best interest at heart and would never bring you something you can’t handle and this person is someone that you are meant to be with.

Two of Cups:

Part of you may think that this relationship will not be true love or you may even believe that you are not worthy of true love and your guides are telling you that you are incorrect. This person will show you a whole new side of what love means and feels like. They say that it is definitely true love, even if it isn’t how you define what true love is.

What will you learn from this person?

Six of Wands:

In your mind, you think you know what success looks like, whether that be in love, or just in life. The only problem is that you are still not expanding your view of what success really looks like, and it will be this person who is able to introduce you to the different facets of success. Through them, you will learn how to truly experience success in all of its glory.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

Pile Four:

Who is this person? What are they like?

Ace of Cups and Strength:

This person may be a Leo or have significant Leo placements, more than likely they are a Leo Rising. They may also have significant water placements. They are extremely confident and courageous. They hold a great deal of power and many people come to them for guidance. They are also extremely romantic and sensitive. They love love and are a huge hopeless romantic.

How will you meet?

The Artist:

It is possible that one or both of you are artists. A gallery opening or an art museum may be the place where you meet. On the other hand, based on the energy I sense that one of you will have your art on display, and you will meet them through the event. You will get along almost immediately since you have very similar views on art.

How will you know it’s them?

High Priestess:

One of you may be wearing blue when you meet, maybe a long blue cardigan or dress. A floral pattern may be significant as well, whether it be wallpaper in the room you are in or someone is wearing it. This is a highly spiritual connection so you will almost just know it is them. You will feel how you have never felt before in their presence, it’s like they awaken your spirituality. You will feel your connection with this person almost instantly.

What will your first impression of them be?

Seven of Pentacles:

This person will seem like an extremely hard worker, someone who is very talented but doesn't see their own talent. You might also think that this person overworks themselves. However, you will also see them as kind and patient. You see this person as someone who has a lot of talent and is going to accomplish so much.

How will they affect you?

The Emperor:

They are very much someone who loves to be in control, and they enjoy bossing others around, especially when it comes to love. It seems that they want to dominate you and make sure you are doing exactly everything they want you to do. They will express a lot of their masculine traits in this relationship. However, it could also be you who expresses all of this rather than them.

What kind of relationship will it be? What is the main bond between the two of you?

The Lovers and Ten of Swords:

True love will be the foundation of this relationship. Both of you will experience the kind of love you have always dreamed of. However, this is not to say that the relationship will be easy, as there will be challenges along the way. However, due to your love for one another, you will get through each challenge together. This relationship may last for a long time.

Current obstacles standing in your way?

Six of Pentacles:

You may be an extremely generous person, especially when it comes to your time and energy. Your guides are saying that this aspect of yourself is hindering your progress towards this person. Yes, it is nice to be generous with the people you care about, but that generosity should not come at the price of your health or sanity. Make sure you are maintaining some boundaries in your life.

How to break through those obstacles?

Two of Wands:

It is time for you to set better boundaries especially when it comes to the people you are close to. You may be scared to set better boundaries because you feel like people will be mad at you. You need to release those fears because if people get mad at you for taking care of yourself, they do not truly care about you. Now is the time to make sure the partnerships in your life are healthy and the first step in doing that is by making sure that the partnership you have with yourself is healthy.

What will you learn from this person?

Eight of Swords:

This person will teach you how to get out of your own way. You have a lot of anxieties and insecurities, especially when it comes to relationships and this person will show you how to heal. Through them, you will learn how to let go of your fears and fully express yourself in a healthy way.

If you would like to see some channeled messages from this person and spirit regarding this relationship click here.

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarot readings #oracle readings #love reading #divination #astrology #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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r3dmare · 3 years

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𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙨 // 𝙟.𝙨𝙪𝙝 . 𝙋𝙏 𝙊𝙉𝙀- 𝙃𝙤𝙩 𝙊𝙣𝙚𝙨

-> 𝗂𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗏𝗂𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 (𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽: 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁) 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗂𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗎𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝗅𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗍... 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍?

-> 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 𝗌𝗎𝗁 𝗑 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 , 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗈𝗋!𝖺𝗎 , 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗍: 𝟨.𝟤𝗄

-> 𝖺/𝗇: 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖻𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗆𝖺𝗍, 𝖻𝖺𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗈𝖿𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖾 𝗉𝗈𝗉𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗋 𝗂𝗇𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗼𝘀, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝘅, 𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅 𝖺𝗌 𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗼𝗰𝗱, 𝘁𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗃𝗈𝗁𝗇𝗇𝗒 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗒/𝗇 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝖺𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗈𝗅𝖾𝗌.

-> 𝖺 𝖧𝖴𝖦𝖤 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝖻 𝗇𝗂𝗄𝗄𝗂 ( @sehunniepot ) 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖾 𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍, 𝖾𝗇𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖺𝗀𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗆𝖾, 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍. 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝖽𝖾𝖺𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖾𝗍 ❥

-> 𝖳𝖠𝖦𝖫𝖨𝖲𝖳 (𝗁𝗆𝗎 𝗍𝗈 𝗃𝗈𝗂𝗇!) : @sehunniepot @pimpnameyannie

Johnny Suh Teases Y/N L/N While Eating Spicy Wings

SEAN: Hey, what’s going on everybody? For ‘First We Feast’, I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching Hot Ones!

the camera angles shifts from sean to a shot of the table. he is sitting across johnny and y/n, who are smiling at each other while sean introduces the video. they quickly break their gaze and look at sean.

SEAN: It’s the show with hot questions, and even hotter wings.

the camera pans directly to johnny and y/n.

Y/N: *whispering, excited* He said the thing, oh my gosh.

SEAN: Today we are joined by Johnny Suh and Y/N L/N!

the video cuts to photos of johnny.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: He rose to fame through his YouTube channel and his acting career took off through a number of indie films. Since then, he has been the face of several Hollywood blockbusters.

the video cuts to photos of y/n.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: She’s an Emmy award winning actress well-known for a number of TV roles—most notably for her starring role in the HBO series, ‘Obsession.’

the video cuts to photos of them both.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: Their latest work is the critically acclaimed film, ‘Day Dream,’ currently in theatres.

the video cuts to the camera pointed at johnny and y/n.

SEAN: Y/N L/N, Johnny Suh, welcome to the show.

Y/N: Thank you for having us.

JOHNNY: Thank you, we’re happy to be here!

the camera shifts to a shot of the table. johnny sits on the outside, but y/n’s chair is pulled very close to his. their arms are practically overlapped.

SEAN: I’m excited, viewers are excited—we’ve had so many requests to have you two on the show.

y/n beams, excitedly gesturing between herself and the table with her hands. johnny stares at her, smiling.

Y/N: It’s literally a dream come true—I love this show, I’ve seen all the episodes—I feel like this is the true mark of success.

JOHNNY: She’s been talking about this nonstop since we found out we’d be on.

y/n swats his arm.

SEAN: It’s okay—we’re all stoked to have you here! But the question is: can you two handle the spice?

JOHNNY: I’m pretty confident about it.

Y/N: That isn’t saying much, you’re confident about everything…

JOHNNY: She actually really loves spicy food. She can handle it.

Y/N: I do love it…but I’m not trying to fuck it up by saying I’m good at managing it, though.

SEAN: Well, I have a feeling you two will do great.

it cuts to the intro—shots of the hot sauce bottles, as well as the logo for the show.

the camera is back on y/n and johnny.

JOHNNY: Ready?

Y/N: Always.

the two tap their wings together, as if clinking glasses, and take bites.

the hot sauce and its spice level is shown.

JOHNNY: Shit, these are really good. Nice flavor.

Y/N: Can I eat the whole thing? I’m hungry.

SEAN: Yeah, of course.

johnny laughs at y/n proceeding to dig into the wing.

SEAN: So, you two are very successful at a young age. Johnny, you’ve been vlogging for years, and Y/N, you got your start with small roles in TV shows, and now have an Emmy. Are you surprised about how quickly you achieved so much in the span of a few years?

johnny nods at y/n, letting her go first, smiling fondly at her and watching. the camera pans to y/n.

Y/N: Y’know… yeah. *laughs* I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t absolutely insane and overwhelming. I went from a few lines in shows to starting an HBO series? With a fucking Emmy? I never expected to get that role or any of this and I’m still confused about it. Acting… all this, it’s my life. It’s what I’ve wanted since I was a kid, and I’m so, so grateful for how far I’ve come. *laughs* I don’t know how anyone let me get here, though.

JOHNNY: *exasperated* Oh, c’mon, Y/N. You’re a star.

SEAN: It’s definitely well deserved. Johnny?

the camera settles on johnny, who pulls his gaze away from y/n to look at sean. y/n keeps her eyes on johnny, a soft expression on her face.

JOHNNY: I started out just as a kid with a camera. I grew up wanting to act, wanting to sing, and being very into photography and visuals. My channel started out as me just talking or doing stuff with my friends and it grew bigger than I could’ve imagined. I’m beyond lucky for how far I’ve come—and to get to direct and produce a lot of my projects is great.

SEAN: Speaking of, my next question for you is actually about your experience in the production of films. How does directing and producing have an affect on you now as an actor? Even for projects like ‘Day Dream,’ where you aren’t taking a role in production.

johnny runs a hand through his hair, nodding.

JOHNNY: *pauses then laughs* Shit, did I get sauce in my hair? I hope I didn’t.

y/n leans closer to him, and he lowers his head to her level. she runs his fingers through his hair, and shakes her head.

Y/N: Nah, you’re good.

SEAN: Just be careful around the eyes!

Y/N: *fangirling* AH, I knew you were going to say that—fuck, sorry… big fan.

SEAN: *laughing* You’ve seen a bit, then?

Y/N: Totally. Oh, sorry Johnny—interrupted.

JOHNNY: Don’t you always?

johnny laughs, and y/n pouts in response.

JOHNNY: Just messing around, don’t worry. But, yeah, I actually like this question a lot. Honestly, it gives a whole other dimension to the experience. I think that we—as actors—always invest love and care into our work because we want it to be the best it can be. We all come in wanting to do well for not only ourselves but for production. Like, we already know how big of a job it is for them, how hard it is but when you’ve been there, it’s different. You start to look at things you wouldn’t notice before and it’s almost like you’re hyper-aware of many more facets of shooting than you normally would think about—and I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

Y/N: *musing* No, it’s not.

JOHNNY: It gives you more drive.

SEAN: Totally. And I’ve seen your work— you’ve pulled off so many different roles, but I think how you executed the filmmaking was even more impressive.

JOHNNY: *grinning* Thanks, man. That means a lot.

the next sauce is shown, as well as it’s scoville level.

the camera cuts back to them, biting into the wings.

Y/N: I don’t taste much of a difference in the sauce…is my palate broken?

JOHNNY: Wouldn’t be surprised… weirdo.

Y/N: Oh, fuck off.

SEAN: It creeps up on you, but then it piles on all at once.

Y/N: Are you even fazed by it anymore, Sean?

SEAN: You’d think I’m more used to the hotter ones, but it still gets me sometimes.

Y/N: It doesn’t show.

johnny looks over at y/n’s wing and scoffs, jokingly.

JOHNNY: Damn, Y/N, at least clean the bone better.

Y/N: *frowning* I don’t wanna mess up my makeup.

SEAN: So, Y/N, this is your first movie. How does the filming differ from TV—is it any harder or easier? Do you have a preference and how have you felt through the process?

Y/N: It’s not that different—for me, anyway, I don’t know what others might say. I was so stoked to get this, especially because the concept for the film is pretty different to most of the romcoms I’ve seen in the past. Not as cheesy—it feels like a real romance. In fact, it felt—well, not easier, because, like, with ‘Obsession’ I’m so comfortable with my role and my cast but it was kind of the same here. Being with Johnny was great because I’ve known him for so long and it felt natural to be working with him.

johnny is, yet again, staring and smiling at her. you can almost see the hearts in his eyes.

SEAN: Johnny, did you feel similarly?

JOHNNY: *snapping out of it to look at sean* Of course. Y/N’s been in my life for what seems like forever and I was even more excited about taking the role when I found out she’d be doing it with me. She said it best—it was natural.

the next sauce is shown.

they all bite into the wings.

SEAN: How we feelin’?

Y/N: This one’s got a ‘lil kick to it, but it’s still pretty mild. I love this flavor.

JOHNNY: Yeah, this one’s my favorite so far, flavor-wise.

SEAN: We have some for you guys to take home, don’t worry.

Y/N: Oh, you’re the best.

SEAN: Kind of going off where we were, the internet is raving about your chemistry.

the two laugh, y/n looking slightly shy.

SEAN: You mentioned it was easy to star together, given your friendship. Was there anything, though, that was particularly hard?

unseen on the camera, johnny rests his hand on y/n’s thigh under the table, in a casual manner. she stiffens slightly, then relaxes as he speaks.

JOHNNY: For this project, I mean, Y/N was perfect. She executed the role of Audrey beautifully and when you have someone who just knows exactly how to play their part, it makes shooting feel more immersive and intimate. She’s just perfect.

Y/N: *beaming* I feel the same about you—you played Chris flawlessly.

johnny thanks her, and rubs circles onto her thigh with his thumb.

Y/N: For my first film, I’m beyond happy I got to do it with him. He’s been in my life for years, like, we met when we were twenty, and I just felt… everything was, like, comfortable, and easy, and safe. Gotta be real, though, the sex scenes were weird.

SEAN: *laughing* Oh?

JOHNNY: *bewildered* Are we going there?

Y/N: *shrugs* I mean… is that okay? Can I not say that?

SEAN: No, you can. We don’t bleep cussing on here, so I think it’s fine.

Y/N: I won’t share all the gory details.

JOHNNY: I don’t mind.

johnny is smirking, and looking intently at y/n. she tries not to falter under his gaze.

Y/N: *laughs* It was just kind of bizarre to see him like that? I mean, it’s my job, it wasn’t a big deal, I kept my professionalism, but was it strange? Absolutely.

y/n laughs nervously.

JOHNNY: I didn’t think it was that weird.

Y/N: *sarcastic* Yeah, okay. For real, though, it was my first sex scene, I was nervous, and he made me feel protected and comfortable… *quietly, cutely* Thank you for that.

JOHNNY: *fondly* You’re welcome. Yeah, I’m messing around, it was a little odd…but my goal was to make her comfortable. Our crew is great, of course, but it’s notoriously harder for women in the industry than it is for men. I care about her, I just want her to be okay.

SEAN: It really is. I’m glad you two were comfortable during all that.

y/n is looking down, biting her lip as she smiles.

the next sauce shows up on screen.

the camera shows the table as they all take a bite.

Y/N: Ooh.

johnny and sean laugh.

SEAN: Is this one harder?

JOHNNY: It’s a bit hotter.

Y/N: Nothing unmanageable, though. It’s kind of… fruity?

SEAN: It has mango in it.

JOHNNY: I think it really adds to it, it’s nice.

SEAN: So, something I wanna ask you two is about music. Johnny, I know you’re a great singer, and have been interested in music for a long time, being in musicals. And Y/N, you’ve contributed songs to the ‘Obsession’ soundtrack— you’re very musically talented as well. Tell me—do either of you have any musical plans for the future? And who has inspired you, musically?

JOHNNY: *laughing* Thanks, man, I appreciate that. Uh, honestly, I grew up listening to such a wide range of music. I definitely have plans to create my own music down the line… but I can’t really say when. I’m focused on acting right now, y’know? But it’ll be sooner than you think. As far as musical influences… God, it’s all over the place.

Y/N: You love Coldplay.

JOHNNY: Yeah, they’re my favorite artist. I like so many genres… *absentminded* Y/N showed me a lot of stuff, too.

y/n grins, patting johnny’s hand.

Y/N: Yeah! We would just share airpods between takes and listen to music… It was nice.

SEAN: I heard you two also fell asleep a lot on set.

they both laugh hard.

Y/N: We did—it was like a running joke. Jaehyun and Yerim—they were also in the film—always took pictures and teased us.

johnny laughs again.

Y/N: Oh! Yeah, to answer your question… to be honest, I was surprised that they asked me to do a song. I knew Kyungsoo would be—I mean, everyone’s heard his voice. He’s a god, he’s good at fuckin’ everything. But I think he, Jongin and Sehun tattled on me to the execs, because they heard me singing in my trailer. I work with such assholes. *laughs* I’m joking… but, yeah! It was pretty cool… I didn’t even know I was capable of sounding that good. I don’t wanna sound like I’m bragging—I was just surprised when I heard the track. And people liked it! I would definitely consider—

johnny is staring intently at y/n, who has sauce on the corner of her mouth. while she’s speaking, he reaches out to grab her chin with one hand and uses the thumb on his other hand to wipe the sauce. sean feels as if he’s interrupting a private moment, and y/n falters, cutting off.

Y/N: *speaking to johnny as if the two are in their own little word* -did I have sauce?

johnny licks the thumb with the sauce on it, casually, nodding.

JOHNNY: Yeah, just a little.

SEAN: *laughing* Do you like this one that much?

JOHNNY: *smiling, speaking lowly* Yeah it has… a nice flavor. *his demeanor changes quickly, smoothly, his tone becoming light-hearted* It’ll probably get worse from here though, right?

y/n is internally malfunctioning, but masks it. it worsens when he places his hand back secretly on her thigh. her heart is hammering in her chest and she resists the urge to aggressively bounce her leg. she’s SO into him, and he’s fueling the flame. unbeknownst to her, he is definitely flirting.

SEAN: Most definitely.

the fifth sauce pops up, as well as the scoville level.

they all take bites, and y/n smiles.

Y/N: Yeahhh, y’know, this one is… hot.

SEAN: Are you doing okay?

Y/N: Oh, hell yeah. It’s good. All of these have such great flavors—I’m excited to take the sauces home.

JOHNNY: I know she’s gonna cook something with it as soon as she gets home.

SEAN: You’ll have to send me what you do. You like to cook?

JOHNNY: *quickly, beating y/n to answering* Dude, she’s an amazing cook.

Y/N: *embarassed* I’m okay… I really love to cook though. *laughing* Wife me up.

johnny smiles slightly at that.

Y/N: One of our friends, he’s a rapper, Mark Lee?

SEAN: Yeah! He’s great, I’ve met him.

JOHNNY: I love that kid.

Y/N: Yeah, I’m pissed at him. He was noticed by Gordon Ramsey.

johnny is cracking up, and sean smiles.

SEAN: I think I heard about that.

Y/N: Yeah, a fan tweeted a picture of Mark’s shitty scrambled eggs at him, saying it was her boyfriend. And he fucking told her to break up with him. *laughing hard* I mean, I’m just jealous, because I love Gordon Ramsey and would love to be noticed by him.

SEAN: Gordon, if you’re watching this, Y/N is dying to meet you.

y/n shakes her head, shy.

JOHNNY: She’s too much of a shy little wimp for that.

Y/N: Is today shit on Y/N day? Goddamn…

SEAN: So, we have a segment on the show we like to call ‘Explain That Gram’. Basically, we just take pictures from your Instagram that need more context.

Y/N: I love this.

a staff member brings a laptop to sean.

SEAN: We’ll start with Johnny?

JOHNNY: Bring it.

the screen shows a photo from johnny’s instagram. y/n and johnny can be heard laughing their asses off at the picture shown.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: So, this is you and Ten Lee, the dancer and model, who you’re close friends with. Can you explain *laughs* what’s going on here?

the screen goes back to the camera pointed at johnny. he’s laughing with his head in his hands and y/n is suppressing her laughter.

JOHNNY: *clearing his throat and composing himself* Yeah, so that’s Ten. *he laughs more*

Y/N: God, I love Ten. I miss him.

JOHNNY: Yeah, he’s great. One of my very best friends. So basically, I was visiting him at his home in Thailand. He was supposed to come to Chicago, actually, but his schedule got packed at the last moment. But I had an idea to take photos in front of a greenscreen, wear ‘I Love Chicago’ shirts, and put images of city landmarks behind us.

Y/N: That doesn’t look like Chicago, John.

JOHNNY: Well, that one’s a wave. That one was just funny.

a photo of from y/n’s instagram is shown on screen. once again, they all burst out laughing.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: Here you are, wearing a dinosaur head. Could you give the context?

the camera is on y/n.

Y/N: *smiling* God, my face hurts… fuck, you know how to pick them, huh?

SEAN: That’s the game!

Y/N: Uh, well, Johnny actually took this photo.

JOHNNY: *grinning* Yup.

Y/N: You see, what happened was… we were in Walmart with our friend Seulgi, and I found a dinosaur head. And because I’m a literal child, I thought it would be hilarious to pretend to be a dinosaur and chase them around. It was an action shot.

another photo pops up on screen, again from y/n’s instagram.

SEAN, VOICEOVER: Here you two are getting on a plane. Can I ask what you’re doing here, Johnny?

the camera pans to johnny, who is grinning.

JOHNNY: We were actually boarding the plane to go visit my parents in Chicago. It was a few days after we wrapped up filming—

Y/N: —I have to interject before he lies about what was really happening. Here is concrete proof that Johnny bullies me. Little shit.

JOHNNY: *staring into the camera* I was not bullying her. She was already making us late, and I was trying to board the plane, not pose for selfies.

Y/N: … Honestly, all I heard was you saying you were bullying me.

SEAN: *laughing* You were running late, Y/N?

JOHNNY: She’s always running late.

Y/N: Well— *hesitates* unfortunately, I can’t dispute that.

both johnny and sean laugh, as does the crew behind the cameras.

JOHNNY: That’s why she has me. I keep her on time.

Y/N: I don’t know why I keep you—pain in my ass. *she smiles, despite herself*

JOHNNY: We keep getting sidetracked. *laughs* But, yeah, we were going to stay with my parents for a week in Chicago. It was really great.

SEAN: You’re from Chicago, originally, right?

JOHNNY: Yup! Born and raised. I spent some summers in Korea, and I’ve always had a connection there—it’s where my parents grew up, it’s where they met, where my family is—but Chicago is always gonna be my true home.

Y/N: Honestly, it’s great there. I always have the time of my life when I visit—especially because Mr. and Mrs. Suh are amazing. I love them to death, and I’m always so grateful for how welcoming and loving they are.

they move on to the sixth sauce.

Y/N: So, this one is making my lips tingle. Not bad, though.

JOHNNY: Ooh, yeah, that’s a little bit hotter. ‘S good.

SEAN: So, let’s talk about ‘Day Dream’. The film, as well as your characters, Audrey and Chris, and their journey through love, mental illness, and success has been captivating audiences worldwide. What drew you two to the film? Did you feel connected to your characters, and were there any parts of the film that were particularly hard to film?

Y/N: You first.

JOHNNY: As soon as my manager explained the premise and Chris’ character, I was hooked. Of course, I didn’t understand the complexity and intensity of our characters yet—but something was instantly so interesting and captivating. *he pauses* Chris was challenging for me—in a good way, of course. We have this guy who has so much going for him—but so much more holding him back. He’s really… going through it. He’s got serious, intense OCD, as well as depression. I didn’t want to fuck up my portrayal of him, or OCD, so I did a lot of research, and I reached out to people with OCD. I learned a lot. Honestly, though, he’s suffering. He’s struggling, and he wants someone to hold him together. He makes finding love his priority, he tries to make it the answer, to make Audrey the answer. He invests everything in her. I just wanted to make his mindset, his genuine and pure love for her… I wanted it to feel as real and human as it is, and for people to understand why he does what he does, why he says what he says. I’m being a little vague— *laughs* I just don’t want to spoil it. But, yeah, Chris is very important to me. I was absolutely honored to play him.

SEAN: It was very, very evident that you put thought and love into him, and to the film. I think you pulled it off seamlessly, Johnny.

JOHNNY: Thank you, man.

Y/N: *nudging him, reminding* Were there any parts harder to film than others?

JOHNNY: Oh, right! Sorry… ugh, I don’t want to spoil anything.

SEAN: You don’t have to answer it if you’re concerned about spoiling.

JOHNNY: Okay. Well, if you’ve seen the film, or even if you haven’t… there’s a scene near the end, where Chris is alone… you’ll know what I’m talking about. It was difficult.

SEAN: Y/N?

Y/N: Okay. *she exhales* Hopefully I can articulate this well. I was attracted to the film for the same reasons as Johnny. But… what really did it for me was reading the monologue I was given for my audition. I don’t wanna say what it is, since I guess we are a spoiler-free zone, but it was so raw and real. I just fell in love with Audrey, I really did. She’s an aspiring novelist, and she truly loves writing, and words, and feeling. Maybe it’s also one of her biggest flaws… but she can’t bring herself to write a feeling she doesn’t understand. That’s, like, her thing. Every emotion—every smile, every tear, she has to have felt it for it to mean something. That’s what broke my heart. Life has just beat her to death, and on top of everything she’s been through, after how numb she has been for most of her life, it’s like she craves that sort of pain, the heartbreak. She falls in love easily, and she wants the impending heartbreak as much as she fears it. She wants her muse. She wants someone to give her the pain she wants to write about. It’s really fucked up. But she meets Chris, and she invests her mind, her body, her soul into him—and she doesn’t know what she wants anymore. She’s as real to me as anyone else. She’s fucked up, she’s brilliant, she’s lovable, she’s mean, she’s extremely flawed—and I just love her for that. I didn’t want to just play her… I wanted to be her, to immerse myself in who she is. I want people to watch the film and forget they’re watching a film. I want them to live it, and for them to know and love Chris and Audrey the way we do.

JOHNNY: You made my response sound bad.

Y/N: Oh, shut up.

SEAN: You’re obviously very passionate about them—and it shows on screen, as well. I don’t imagine it’s easy to portray those situations, for either of you, but I can’t tell you enough how amazing you two did.

Y/N: Thank you so much. Awwh—I’m really touched by that.

JOHNNY: It means so much. We put our heart and souls into this.

SEAN: You’re welcome! It’s honestly Oscar worthy, in my eyes.

Y/N: Oh my God—I can’t even think about that… never in a million years would I think about getting an Oscar. John, though, I can see.

JOHNNY: *scoffs* You’re insane. You deserve one—Miss Emmy award.

she sticks her tongue out at him, and he smiles adoringly at her.

SEAN: Ready for the next sauce?

they move on to the next sauce.

Y/N: *biting into the wing, mouth full* Oh, fuck.

SEAN: Bad?

Y/N: *shaking head* No, just a… strange flavor? Not bad, but different.

SEAN: You two are really good with this stuff—usually people are sweating a bit by now.

JOHNNY: I grew up with spice. Korean food is hot.

SEAN: So, Y/N, I wanted to talk a little more about ‘Obsession’.

Y/N: Go for it.

SEAN: Rumor has it that filming for season three is coming up… can you confirm that?

Y/N: I don’t know if I can confirm it, but I will. *laughs* We’re supposed to do a read-through in a few weeks and I am scared shitless.

SEAN: Why is that?

JOHNNY: Can I just say—she regularly spoils the show for me. I’m scared shitless, as well, because I don’t want her to drop any bombs on me.

Y/N: *pouting, whiny* But Johnny, my mom gets mad if I spoil it.... and you’re my best friend.

johnny rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

SEAN: You’re notorious for spoiling—I’m surprised you haven’t spoiled the movie in this.

JOHNNY: I made her promise not to.

Y/N: Yeah. But, uh, I’m nervous about what the fuck is going to happen this season. I stay in close contact with production, and… I’ve heard it’s going to be insane. I love playing Mina, I love her to death… so I’m, like, fearing for her life and well-being. We all know Jongin’s character, Kai, is fucking stalking her, and she’s just… oblivious. It’s scary. And last season we started to find out about Kyungsoo’s character, D.O., and the skeletons in his closet…

SEAN: The show definitely doesn’t shy away from the disturbing.

Y/N: Right! It’s part of why I love it… even though it can get insane and terrifying, it’s addicting. And, God, it’s so crazy how well Kyungsoo and Jongin play their parts. It’s almost weird how Jongin is so good at what he does—especially since he doesn’t have a background in acting. It’s a challenging role.

SEAN: I agree—it’s very chilling at times. As for Mina, she seems very different from you.

Y/N: Oh, one hundred percent. She’s vulnerable in a way that I’m not familiar with, in a way that very few people are. Sometimes I wish I could shake her by the shoulders, because she’s an idiot, she’s purposely continuing to fuck up her life, and I want her to realize her worth… and to stop wasting her time with Kai. D.O. is better, even though he’s also batshit—and I can’t rave enough about Kyungsoo, my God. He’s a dream. He’s helped me adjust to the success, and helps me with my performance… We all know how perfect he is.

johnny had been listening intently the entire time, but frowned slightly when y/n raved about kyungsoo. his jealousy is shown on camera, albeit subtly.

SEAN: You know, we’ve had so many requests for you two on the show, as well. Jongin and Sehun as well.

Y/N: I never want to do an interview with Sehun—he’s a little shit and I refuse to compliment him. He bullies me more than Johnny does.

JOHNNY: *grinning* She’s lying, she loves him.

y/n shakes her head at the camera.

the next sauce is shown.

Y/N: Oh, this one is your sauce!

SEAN: Yeah, it’s one we made for this season. Ready?

they all bite into the wings.

JOHNNY: Oh, God… *he grabs his water and takes a sip*

y/n is coughing and has her nose scrunched.

SEAN: You guys okay?

Y/N: This hurts.

JOHNNY: Yeah, uh, this one is a bit of a leap.

y/n goes to scratch beside her eye, but johnny notices and quickly grabs her hand.

SEAN: Your eyes!

Y/N: *eyes wide* Oh, God, thank you… that would have been bad.

JOHNNY: Dummy.

SEAN: Johnny, you’re one of the most followed Instagram users in the world. On top of Youtube, Instagram, and Twitter, fans have been requesting you join TikTok.

y/n is giggling.

JOHNNY: God, they really have.

SEAN: Any plans for that? Or is YouTube enough for you right now?

JOHNNY: Honestly, I’m not that big of a fan of TikTok. Y/N sends me a lot of them, but that’s really it. I don’t have an account. So, honestly, probably not.

Y/N: You don’t watch all of the ones I send you…

JOHNNY: You send me about twenty a day.

Y/N: And?

SEAN: *laughs* Well, you’re obviously popular on the other platforms.

JOHNNY: The Instagram thing blows my mind.

Y/N: Oh, please… you always stop for pictures. You’re all about your daily fits.

JOHNNY: Because I’m fashionable.

SEAN: Yeah, I was going to ask about that. You’ve done a few fashion shows, and you’re an ambassador for Saint Laurent. You’ve expressed interest in creating your own clothing line, as well. Were you serious about that?

JOHNNY: Oh, yeah. I would love to be able to have my own line… fashion has always been something I’ve been interested in, and I enjoy styling my outfits, as well as my friends’.

Y/N: He helps me. I have a horrible sense of fashion.

JOHNNY: You’re not that bad.

Y/N: Eh.

SEAN: You’ve made headlines just because of your street style.

JOHNNY: *laughs* Yeah, that’s… something. Honestly, though, maybe in a few years… I’d love to have my own line. I’m also honored to be a Saint Laurent ambassador—they’ve been one of my favorite brands for years.

SEAN: You’re really a jack of all trades—Youtuber, influencer, actor, singer, and model. Is there anything you can’t do?

Y/N: I can answer that—no. He’s infuriatingly perfect.

JOHNNY: *teasing* Awwh, babe, you’re so sweet.

he caresses her cheek, and y/n is screaming on the inside.

Y/N: I take it back.

the ninth sauce is introduced.

Y/N: Fucking hell.

she begins to cough, and fan her face. the sauce is nearly unbearable. johnny breaths out, eyes wide and staring at the table. he also coughs a bit.

SEAN: You okay?

JOHNNY: Yeah, this sucks. This is hot as fuck, holy shit.

y/n is still silent, and begins to chug her entire glass of water.

SEAN: Y/N?

Y/N: I’m good. I’m fine. I got it.

JOHNNY: *concerned* You sure, love?

once again, y/n is flustered. this time, she’s bad at hiding it. she blames it on the spice.

Y/N: U-uh, yeah… *gets a grip on herself, waves him off* Yeah. Don’t worry ‘bout it.

she is clearly still affected, whereas johnny has already tackled the intensity of the spice.

SEAN: I’m curious—are there any genres of film that you two want to try? And do you two want to work on another project together?

johnny looks over at y/n, a slight crease in his brow. worried.

Y/N: Um, my mouth hurts. You go first, mm?

johnny squeezes her thigh under the table and pushes his water towards her.

JOHNNY: Of course I’d want to work with her again. That’s my Y/N—I feel like we bring the best out of each other, and, again, I love working with her. As for things I’d want to try… *he trails off, his mind definitely on things he wants to try… but not in relation to the question. he pushes his hair back with his wrist* I think It’d be fun to do a crime movie. I’m obviously fond of doing dramas and musicals, as well as coming-of-age movies, but playing a criminal would be fun.

SEAN: I didn’t expect that! I can see it, though.

JOHNNY: Yeah, I’d like to do something like Robert Pattinson in ‘Good Time’.

SEAN: I think you could pull that off. Y/N, you doing okay?

Y/N: *smiles* Yeah, sorry! Just had to get used to it. Uh… yeah, me too—working with Johnny again, I mean. Of course—he’s my guy. Working with him is the best. And… ooh, honestly, I want to be in a horror movie, or a thriller! I like psychological thrillers, and I love scary movies… very open to that. *laughs* John, we should do a movie like Zac Efron and Lily Collins… what was it? The Bundy movie.

SEAN: That’d be interesting.

JOHNNY: Hell yeah.

the final sauce is displayed.

y/n has her head in her hands, stressed, and johnny has moved his hand from her thigh to her back.

JOHNNY: C’mon, it’ll be okay.

SEAN: We’re almost done! You’ve done really great so far.

Y/N: *sighs* Shit’s hot, dude… fuck it, let’s get it over wwith.

the guys laugh as y/n hurriedly bites into the wing. they follow. johnny has a funny expression on as he swallows.

JOHNNY: Goddamn… this hurts. *he coughs*

SEAN: Yeah, this one is pretty bad.

y/n has her head completely down on the table, but with one elbow propped up, sauce still on her fingers. you can hear her moaning in pain.

JOHNNY: Here, drink some water.

he grabs her and sits her up, gently, but laughs at her pained expression.

Y/N: I hate this. Do we have milk?

SEAN: Yeah, we’ll get you some.

she coughs, johnny rubbing her back, and reaches for the glass of milk. he still seems collected.

SEAN: You got it, Y/N.

y/n is chugging the milk and giving a thumbs up. johnny smiles at her.

SEAN: So, we got deep with some of these questions.

JOHNNY: You’re a hell of an interviewer.

Y/N: *still pained, but smiling* I don’t know what you lace things wings with to get us this deep. We talked a lot.

SEAN: All good answers though! So, for this last one, it’s not really a question—anything you guys want to say to each other or to the cameras? Anything, the floor is yours.

the two look at each other, silently asking a question. johnny smiles, but it quickly turns to an intense stare. y/n’s eyes widen, confused. he can’t look at her like that.

Y/N: *nervous* What?

JOHNNY: *puts a hand on y/n’s cheek and leans in, almost smiling at her flustered expression* Y/N…

y/n bursts out laughing, but is equally terrified. her heart is beating out of her chest. sean internally feels like he is interrupting something again.

JOHNNY: I just wanted to tell you… it’s something I’ve wanted to say for years. Something that—fuck, this’ll probably change everything. I just need to tell you, get this off my chest.

y/n is panicking and fails at masking it. she looks over at the cameras, genuinely baffled. they’re doing an interview, what was he doing?

Y/N: Johnny, what-?

JOHNNY: When we were at that hotel with Jaehyun and Sooyoung—a few years back, remember? You lost your room key and got locked out, and I told you I didn’t have it, but I was lying. I took it on purpose to fuck with you.

y/n is gaping, completely at a loss. sean laughs, also shocked. johnny is laughing his ass off.

Y/N: I… you fucking bitch.

SEAN: You really had me going there.

Y/N: Edit this out. I have nothing to say to this asshole.

JOHNNY: *innocently* What did I do?

Y/N: *ignoring him, turning to the camera, smiling* Anyway, thank you for watching us! ‘Day Dream’ is out in theatres, and we really hope you’ll go see it. We put our all into it, as did the other cast members and the crew, and I know you all will enjoy it!

JOHNNY: Yeah, please go see it, you won’t be disappointed.

johnny smiles at the camera, and then y/n who rolls her eyes and shoves him, though she is unable to suppress her smile.

the logo appears on screen and the video ends.

#𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘴;;#𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴;;#johnny seo #johnny fic #johnny angst #johnny scenarios #johnny fluff #johnny oneshot #johnny au #johnny suh #nct #nct 127 #nct fic #nct scenarios #nct oneshot #nct au #nct 127 fic #nct smut

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bts-weverse-trans · 3 years

Photo

201128 Weverse Magazine ‘BE’ Comeback Interview - Namjoon

RM: “I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now” BTS BE comeback interview 2020.11.28

The story of BTS’ new album BE started on April 17, 2020 when group member RM announced its production on the BANGTANTV YouTube channel. In the seven months that followed until the album’s release, RM’s mind was full, his thoughts flowing in and out of his head.

How do you feel about the unique approach you took to making your new album, BE? RM: The other members were a ton of help to me. My lyrics made it on the album, but the music I composed didn’t, so I’m really thankful to the group for the music. How should I say this? I feel like everyone is doing a great job. There are so many parts in these songs that I’m indebted to them for. “Stay” was originally going to be the title song on Jung Kook’s mixtape, but everyone liked it so much, and they all agreed to put that on our album. That’s how much influence they had. I’m really happy my room idea was chosen to be the album photos. Since we’re spending a lot of time in our rooms because of COVID-19, we laid out the idea of each of us decorating a room in our own style. I can’t remember for sure (laughs) but I think I’m the one who came up with that. I made a comfortable room, one that’s modern and warm because that’s what I like.

There’s a painting in the middle, and symmetrically arranged figurines. RM: The figures are from my own collection. I wanted to show one of my paintings, but that didn’t pan out. But still, those are the things I hold most dear to me right now, so I let the room embody the things I wish I had, too.

It’s well known that you like art and frequent exhibitions, but how do you feel when you look at art in your home or another space where there are no people, like in the album art? RM: Someone said, “You don’t have to buy this painting; it’s yours so long as you’re looking at it.” That’s my favorite sound bite these days. What I most envied about painters was that, even after they died, their work would be hanging up somewhere, maybe even in another country, still defining that space. Musicians leave behind their songs and videos, too, but it’s only through fine art that viewers in the future are able to completely meet artists from the past. I’m envious that this is only possible for painters. These days I’m trying to find spaces where I can have more relaxed viewing experiences.

There’s a full experience involved, from the time you get ready to leave your house until the time you’re actually looking at artwork in the gallery. RM: That’s perfect to me. There’s art you can keep at home, and then there’s art that should always be viewed in museums.

What effect do you think that type of experience has on your music? You didn’t compose any of the songs but instead participated in writing the lyrics to all of the tracks. Did that experience affect your lyric writing in any way? RM: I think it’s helped me develop a way of thinking using all the senses. I used to be attuned to speech and focus on language and auditory textures, but now I can look at my thoughts from many different angles. That’s why I spend more time studying art now. I’m waiting for the day that it all comes to the surface, like when you paint the base on a canvas over and over so the colors pop. It’s hard to answer in one word if it has a direct influence on my work, but I think people who create music develop a way of seeing the world through their personal experience and their creative process. Painters naturally exhibit their art over a very long period of time. I think it gave me an eye for looking at the world in one long, continuous stroke. So now it’s become a little challenging for me to write lyrics these days. I’ve become more cautious.

Why is it so challenging? RM: I used to have so many ideas pouring out that it was hard to pluck one out. So I would stack them up like a Jenga tower and ponder over which one to remove. But now, it’s hard to even add a block to the stack. I’m not sure why but, when I look at these artists whose works span their entire lives, I sense that the rhythm of my creativity is slowing down more and more. That’s the source of my dilemma. I’m only 27 years old. I still need to wander around and get tripped up a little. But am I just trying to imitate what the fine artists are doing? Or maybe BTS experienced so much in the past seven years, that now it’s time for us to take a breather? I’ve got so many questions, I feel like my hair’s turning white. That’s why none of my songs are on the album. I wrote some, but they were too personal to use there. I don’t exactly like myself like this, but I have to see through to the end in this direction and find the answer.

Maybe for that reason, your rapping has shifted focus to the lyrics more so than trend or musicality. It emphasizes the feeling of the words over a particular format or beat. RM: Exactly. In—was it 2017? Pdogg was talking to Yoongi, Hobi and me about our style, and said, “Namjoon, it feels like you’re becoming a lyricist,” and it really stuck with me. I have a lot of thoughts lately when I watch Show Me the Money or listen to hip hop songs from the Billboard chart. My music started out all about my life as a rapper, so I spend a lot of time thinking about where I am now.

So you’ve started to ask yourself who you are as a musician? RM: I listened to Lee So-ra’s seventh album again today. I keep changing my mind but, if I had to pick between her sixth and seventh album, I like her seventh a little more. And then I listen to the most popular songs on Billboard, and I feel kind of thrown off. Um … There’s something Whanki Kim said that’s been running around in my head lately: After moving to New York, he embraced the style of artists like Mark Rothko and Adolf Gottlieb, but then he said, “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” And I keep thinking that way, too. That’s my main concern lately.

You can feel that on BE. As the members take on more prominent roles as songwriters and producers, characteristics of old Korean music—the kind of music you likely listened to in middle and high school—gradually entered your sound. But your music isn’t from that era, and it sounds like pop, but not quite. RM: The sound has to fit with the whole album so I couldn’t incorporate that feel into BTS songs, but the songs I’m listening to most lately have been Korean. Songs like P-Type’s “Don Quixote,” Dead’P’s “Spread My Wings,” Soul Company’s album The Bangerz. The impressions the songs from back then have left on me, the lyrics from back then and the lyrics from now, they’re different. So BE is both Korean and pop; it’s very unique, in my view.

I think that’s especially true for “Life Goes On.” It’s got a pop melody, but compared to “Dynamite,” it has a very different feel. It doesn’t slip deep into the sentimental, instead allowing the melody to flow naturally. RM: Exactly. The chorus is totally pop, and one of the writers was also American. But the song doesn’t really follow American music trends, weirdly. So I don’t know how “Life Goes On” is going to be received. It’s really calm, almost contemplative. So there’s lyrics, like, “Like an echo in the forest,” and, “Like an arrow in the blue sky.” The song kind of feels like that: It could just float off and disappear. It might even come off as bland next to “Dynamite.”

If nothing else, it seems the song will stick around for a long time. Maybe kids now will listen to it later on in the future. RM: I hope so. That’s the one thing I really hope for, people in the future, thinking back and saying, “Oh, right! Remember that one song?” That’s what my favorite artists and other people who leave a lasting impression on me have in common. One thing common among the songs that have affected me a lot, like Lee So-ra’s seventh album, is that the lyrics they utter in their voice along with the overall sound stick with me. I hope when people look back, my words uttered with the sound of my voice, echoes for a long time in an auditory or visual way, or even throughout their entire lives. But that’s the dilemma: We have all these bling-bling symbols of our success, but we’re not that kind of team.

And yet, BTS’s career path is even more “bling-bling” than ever. “Dynamite” was the top song on the Billboard Hot 100. RM: I was the first one to check our position (laughs) but I didn’t want to get too excited about it. I was scared of facing disappointment so I put the brakes on out of habit, and restrained myself. But on the other hand, I feel like I should relish this moment. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing; shouldn’t I enjoy myself a bit? But I disliked that sensation of only feeling elated so I tried to be as objective as possible. I was just one small part of everything that made this happen.

It reminds me of that part, “Running faster than that cloud of rain / Thought that would be enough / Guess I’m only human after all,” from “Life Goes On.” RM: “Only human” sounds so appropriate for me right now. One time, I saw a dark cloud over the N Seoul Tower while I was walking along the Han River. I was with a friend and we talked about where the border between where it’s raining and where it’s not might be, and suddenly, we came up with the idea to run and find that spot. But after running for 10 minutes, the cloud was even further away than it had been. At that moment, the puzzle pieces snapped into place. You think you can go faster than that dark cloud? No. That’s what I realized then. And I just like what Whanki Kim said, that maybe I can’t do anything not Korean, because that’s what I am. I used to work late and then stay up all night when things weren’t working out, sometimes walking from Samseong to Sinsa station, thinking everything through. But now, like the saying, I realize that maybe I can’t do more than what I am.

On Weverse, you said that you gained some muscle from working out. Could the change to your body improve your creativity in the long term? RM: I started to think I better change myself a little, physically or mentally. I’m talking about being steady. I used to bombard myself with challenges and worries and just get over them, but now I think it’s time to find that one sturdy thing and plant myself there. The best choice was working out, and I think it’s changing my behavior a lot. I’m hoping that, if I keep working out for a year or two, I’ll become a different person.

Music is your job, but also your life. Like you expressed in “Dis-ease,” how would you say you feel about your work? RM: This is my job and my calling and I feel a great sense of responsibility. I think I’m lucky and happy that I can solely worry about my creative process. And I feel very responsible to those people who put their trust in me, so I try not to cross any lines, judge myself honestly, and always be professional. Those are the responsibilities that come with the job—the things I have to do and the promises I won’t betray. But if I’m going to do it, I’m going to be happy while I do it. That’s not always going to be possible, but that’s generally how I feel.

Well then, how do you feel about BTS at the moment? RM: BTS is … Well, it’s really hard to tell. (laughs) When BTS started out, I thought, “I know everything there is to know about BTS,” but now it’s, “I don’t know a single thing about BTS.” In the past, I felt like I knew everything, and that anything was possible. Call it childish or ambitious. But if I were to ask myself, “What is BTS to me?” I would say, we’re just people who met each other because we were meant to. But it feels like the stars aligned and a startup company became a unicorn, with perfect timing and lots of smart people. Looking back, there were a lot of ironies and contradictions in this industry. I thought I figured them out one by one, and then finally understood the whole thing. But now I feel like I don’t know anything at all. Anyway, to sum up: My young, reckless twenties. The events of my twenties. There were a lot of contradictions, people, fame, and conflict all tangled together, but it was my choice and I got a lot out of it, so my twenties were an intense but also happy time.

And what about you, as one individual person? RM: I’m a real Korean person. (laughs) A person who wants to do something in Korea. I think millennials are charging into society stuck between the analog and digital generations, and what I chose is BTS. So I try to integrate myself into our generation, try to understand what people like me are thinking, and try to work hard to capture that feeling without being a burden on them. This might be another kind of irony itself, but this is who I am. I’m a 27-year-old Korean. That’s what I think.

#bangtan #namjoon #weverse #weverse magazine #comeback interview #be album #201128 #2020

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