#this is just me being confused about the modern teenage experience i never had
Text
Dig You A Grave
Part 5
This is the next day.
___________________________________________
Klarion wakes from his well deserved sleep, to see his beloved feline resting on her cushion, next to him. Sitting up, a malicious grin spreads across his face. He is ready to plan his revenge on the Light.
Teekl stretches, then follows her witch boy as he begins to move around their dwelling.
“First things first Teekl, we plan.” A malicious grin split Klarion’s face as he got to work. Books, papers, and magical items began to fly around, summoned and judged on how useful it may be. Everything slowed to a stop as Klarion plucked a small electronic device out of the air. “oh, this will be fun.”
__________________
Back in amity Danny, Sam and Tucker were at Sam’s house finishing up their homework, when Tucker’s PDA begins to ding. Grabbing it to check the notification, he is surprised. “ Nothing!”
“What’s nothing?” Danny asks as he and Sam raise their heads, trying to figure out what their friend is going on about.
“So guys, I decided to do a background check on Danny’s new boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend, Tucker.” Danny pipes up, flustered.
“Wait, I want to hear this. What did you find?” Sam asks as she waves her hand at Danny.
“Anyway, as I was saying, I decided to run a background check when I got home yesterday, and nothing came up for him.”
“What do you mean nothing came up for him? There has to be something.” Sam states confused, tapping her pencil against her notebook.
“Or maybe Tucker’s skills aren’t as good as he says.” Danny says getting a jab in at his friend.
“Ha ha very funny, but no it’s more like he doesn’t exist or more likely someone is trying to hide him from being found.” The tech genius fires back, glaring at his best friend.
“Or maybe he just doesn’t use social media.” Sam ponders.
“Come on Sam. What teen doesn’t use social media?”
“Maybe Klarion is Amish?” Danny thinks out loud.
All three friends stop and think. What if Klarion was Amish. It would explain his lack of internet presence, his clothes and why he has never tried tamales before.
“They do send out teenagers to experience the modern world. He could be doing that.” Sam points out
“But aren’t they super religious and stuff?” Danny asks.
Sam looks at him before replying. “I mean they can be. Why?”
“Well I asked him out on a date, he has styled his hair into horns and he broke into the Fruitloop’s mansion to steal a book.And he put his contact as ‘Klarion the Witch Boy. Are there Amish Witches?”
Both of the halfa’s friends stared at him in disbelief.
“Ugh, now it makes so much more since.” Sam groaned. “If he does witchcraft and he is currently doing Rumspringa, that’s what it’s called by the way; I looked it up. Klarion is probably trying to find a way to not go back.”
“Why wouldn’t he want to go back?” Tucker inquired.
“Do you remember reading The Crucible last year?” Sam responded.
“Oh Ancients, that is as bad as me having ghost hunters for parents, maybe even worse. We need to help him.” The ghost boy says frantically jumping up.
“Well we yeah, but rushing in won’t do us any good. Now sit down.” Sam grabs Danny’s wrist, pulling him back down to the floor.
_________________
“Achoo!” Klarion sneezed in the middle of The Light Meeting, receiving glares from the other members.
“Now as I was saying, for the next phase …” Vandal Savage continues to drone on about their plans (read his plans). Klarion hates it but just a little bit longer and he would have what he needs. He had already switched out the book for an identical fake, duplicated many files, placed transportation sigils on many important pieces of equipment, and most importantly using the Young Justice comm he stole a while ago to not only record but transmit everything he was hearing. Oh his revenge will be a grand affair.
A little over an hour later, the meeting finally ended. Klarion had been assigned to kidnap metas and other beings for their new ally, the Reach. How dare The Light think, he a Lord of Chaos would willingly work for a species who just conquer and want to rule. Meaning everyone follows their laws and rules. How droll and orderly.
Klarion had other plans, and yes he might have to work with the justice losers but the chaos and calamity that will arise from it will be worth it. Now all he has to do is make his leave and watch the show.
With a snap of his fingers Klarion and Teekl disappeared from his former allies hideout, and appeared in Tim Drake’s penthouse, in dreary Gotham.
“Now Teekl, for the fun to begin.” Klarion smirks as files appear from nothing, covering the Kitchen island. He jotted down a quick note, then deliberately set off one of the bat alarms. The Witch Boy needed his friend to find these files sooner rather than later.
“Now to deal with the Reach.” And with another snap Klarion and Teekl were gone.
___________________
Sam and Tucker were able to calm down Danny before he went ghost and searched the world for Klarion. How they did it was simple. They called Jazz. With her help, they now had a plan. Make sure he is safe, then show him all of the great things the modern world has to offer.
That evening when Danny went home he texted Klarion. Seeing what he was up to and how Teekl was doing.
It took a while for a reply but he did respond. Danny’s obsession with protecting was soothed with the reply of being well and the picture of Teekl sleeping on a mound of pillows. They chatted for a while about various topics until Danny fell asleep mid text.
_________
______________
Klarion had had a great day. Destroying that blowhard Savage’s plan had made so much chaos and now he gets to relax and watch everything unfold. Now Danny was texting him, seeing how he was and asking about his amazing familiar.
Teekl had just settled onto a mound of pillows, being extra cute, practically begging for him to send Danny a picture of her. He did of course. Sharing the wonder that is Teekl, is second to spreading chaos. Their conversation carries on for a while, well into the night. By the time Danny stops replying Klarion is half asleep. Figuring Danny is also asleep he turns in for the night.
Tag List
@naluforever3 @seraphichana @starmee-lodurrson @rhode13 @fisticuffsatapplebees @kyrianclawraith @lehana37 @akikoyuii @undead-essence @crystaldrops20 @quirky-gardener @learning-to-fly-on-my-own @Kaindraws @luffyrose @beelze-the-bubkiss @aro-in-danyl @agaponislovely @enderglace @plant5318008 @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair @moonlightheart11 @dontfightmecauseillcry @asrielstars @jaytriesstuff @arend000-blog @mnemovoid @thegatorgoose @do3y @wisp-ghost @youracearocroatneighbour @akikoyuii @omgnectarina @phoenixdemonqueen @iamheretoconsumeandsharethatisit @cottomscrambles @satoshy12 @alice-hazelwood @benrey-the-late-ace @felicityroth @confusionchaos @mysticalcomputerdetective @yjfk
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny fenton#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc#klarion#jason todd#john constantine#klarion dc#chaoticspirit#danny and klarion friendship#danny phantom au#dc comics#dp x dc crossover#klarion the witch boy#Dig You A Grave AU
543 notes
·
View notes
Text
I went back and forth on whether to respond on a comment all evening, and since my motivation is ruined I might as well, cause if one person said it there’s probably some others that were thinking it. Spoilers for the chapter of Mercury that I just posted so if you haven’t read ch 7, it’s on you if you click under the cut.
Kagome is not a prude.
This entire chapter is essentially a bottleneck episode in that we don’t see InuKag do anything beyond bathing, and I did this solely for the purpose of them coming to grips with the reality of being switched. You have two very insecure people that can talk a lot of smack, but they’re not going to handle their routine being different. You see people all the time making jokes about how fun it’d be to be the opposite sex for a day, but chances are if it were you in the situation you’d be apprehensive too.
Kagome and Inuyasha are 19, getting close to 20. It feels like a slap to someone at that age whose not promiscuous to any degree to even suggest that a character who hasn’t had the experiences a reader might have had be called prudish. As someone who dealt with being called similar names at that age, it really stings. People have their reasons for why they don’t run out and explore every Tom, Dick, or Allen, and that doesn’t make them prudes. Sometimes it’s just a choice. Sometimes something personal pushes that person to make that choice.
Canon Kagome was never a prude. She was a 14/15 year old that had other priorities, believe it or not. She was raised to be respectful and not throw out her bits and bobs because it wasn’t considered a trait that people would favor. It would be bad character. Which brings me to my next part of the comment: just because she has a little brother and a grandpa that’s a “dirty old man” and lives in the modern world, doesn’t imply she should be more open.
First, Souta is roughly 9-10 in canon. In Mercury I think I made him 15 and ended up closing the age gap between him and Kagome. Either way, there’s enough of an age gap that she’s not going to want to see her brother naked. And I am well aware about families bathing together but in canon even this would be a stretch. Kagome is going to want her privacy. If it were implied that the siblings bathed when they were younger, it would’ve been a very small window because Kagome probably wouldn’t want to share a bath with a toddler once she started developing. If that’s up your alley, more power to you.
Second is calling Grandpa Higurashi a “dirty old man”. I haven’t read through the manga but I’m sure if there were any instance of him being a perverted old man someone would’ve said something by now. I don’t know what anime was confused with this one, or if there’s some other fic out there were Grandpa is a dirty old man, but I have not and will never write that. The very notion has had me physically ill all evening. Not sure if this is just a trope that the reader has assigned to all grandpas in fics or if this is an assumption about grandpas in real life - someone will have to tell me because I don’t have a grandpa anymore.
Furthermore, I haven’t written Grandpa into this story yet, and the only time Souta has featured has been chapter 1. Nothing about him telling Inuyasha “I really don't want to hear what you want to do to my sister” says that he’d be open to seeing his sister naked either.
So how is Kagome considered a prude, then? She’s spent her teenage years fighting demons and trying not to fail her classes. There’s not time for dealing out handjobs or whatever the hell people assume all teenagers do. Is she late in getting around to exploring her feelings for Inuyasha? I don’t think so. I think it’s a matter of seeing the bottom of the plate for the first time in years, so she has a moment to really think. It’s hard to think about the future when you’re drowning under everything else. When her thoughts keep circling back to agreeing to moving in with Inuyasha, it’s because that future is more real now than it would’ve been while she were in school.
Her having an existential crisis about seeing and having to clean Inuyasha’s body while she inhabits it is basically her being thrown head first into the pool again. She has no experience with the situation. It’s not something she’d seek out within the family to answer questions, so she has limited knowledge from the books she read. Frankly if she went to her brother or grandfather and asked, I’d be horrified, but that’s just me. Also should point out that if I’d written Kagome in such a way that she had no qualms about getting to business and scrubbing away without a care while in Inuyasha’s body, it would be deemed OOC or she’d be accused of being improper.
On the flipside, because Inuyasha was never mentioned once in the comment, I think it really says a lot about reader views in general. It’s fine for Inuyasha to look over Kagome’s body and ask questions, but Kagome’s not allowed to be nervous? Inuyasha is equally nervous - like when he has to ask Kagome if it’s okay to take her panties off. It’s new territory for him too, but because he’s more outspoken and blunt it’s fine. For Kagome to internalize her anxiety is wrong? She doesn’t want to make Inuyasha feel like he’s disgusting (he already assumed that from her grumbling and it was discredited at the end of the chapter) so she tries to be mindful of what she says.
I don’t know...I’m just...tired. This story was one that I have been nervous to even dig into, and when I started writing parts of it here, no one seemed to mind. I’m in the process of editing ch 8 but haven’t written any more, and tonight my motivation sunk. I’ve read this chapter twice today, but not once did I think Kagome read as a prude. I’m confused at what part made someone choose to leave that comment, but if you’ve read it and felt the same way, I hope this explains why I wrote it the way I did.
#is this pointless#highly likely#but it also single-handedly upset me so bad I almost lost my dinner so thanks#gotta justify motives behind how I write characters now I guess idk
14 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello. Could I ask for help, I am trying to understand whether I am aromantic, asexual, both, or maybe neither.
I am a young adult in their twenties. I never had sexual or romantic experience and don't recall having sexual or romantic attraction to anyone. In teenage years I may have had crushes on fictional characters, but not sure if they were of romantic kind (no romantic fantasies). I don't exclude the possibility of finding a happy marriage one day, but I see it mostly in a platonic way. I can appreciate some healthy sensual element in a work of art, but am not "crazy" about it.
I thought the difference from my peers in this aspect to be a cultural thing, due to sex-centeredness of modern culture and me relating more to traditional culture of my country and a bit enclosed upbringing, also my parents think my situation is nothing strange and they felt romantic feelings only after platonic bonding. Can a whole family be demi, or how can it be interpreted?
Hi! I'd like to preface this by saying that I'm not dictating what your orientation is or isn't, I'm just trying to help using my experiences and knowledge :)
That aside, I can totally relate to your experiences! The recipients of many strong feelings of mine have been fictional characters, so I get how confusing that can get. And combining that with a lack of interest or desire for a romantic relationship, it may feel like characters are your main clue about how you feel. Thankfully, what we enjoy or feel in fiction/art doesn't translate 1:1 to our actual feelings for real people. If that was the case I'd be 100% straight, but I know I'm not.
Some aros are interested in romantic relationships, others repulsed when imagining themselves. Some aces can be interested in sex, others may also be repulsed by the mere thought. Wanting to partake in certain activities doesn't necessarily indicate attraction!
About the cultural and family aspect, that does add more layers of complexity. My culture is also quite sex-centered, so I was quick to realize I don't feel the same way about sex and romance as my peers. However, your family circle and upbringing being more laid-back about not having experienced romantic/sexual attraction at a certain age could have many reasons, like a philosophy, religious beliefs, knowledge, experiences, etc. A couple's therapist would also agree that start a romantic relationship with after forming a strong and healthy friendship is better, that's for sure, haha. So yeah, while there is a possibility that someone is demiromantic, there are also plenty of other reasons for that belief. And it's a great thing that your family is understanding and doesn't pressure you about being in love!
In the end only you know what you truly feel, want, and are comfortable with. It might take long to name those feelings, and that's OK. Being aro and/or ace can be pretty confusing since proving that something exists is easier than proving that it doesn't.
In conclusion, asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums, orientation can be fluid, the universe expands infinitely, and self-discovery is beautiful!
Ok, sorry for rambling for too long, I hope this helped :')
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Next up in my “watching TV shows and movies with characters that are supposedly similar to me”:
Sex Education (Maeve Wiley)
I tried all the different versions of the quiz and every time, except in the least detailed “only emojis” version, the top result was Maeve Wiley.
This is so funny because starting with like 8th or 9th grade and my whole adult life I’ve dressed and styled myself exactly like Maeve ... For a few years I had her exact same S01 hair colour, bleached platinum blonde with roots showing most of the time and dip dyed pink.
Me on the left and Maeve on the right:
“She’s not popular, she’s scary”
I’ve only seen the first two episodes so far, and I definitely like Maeve the most out of all the characters. I would actually never have watched the show if it wasn’t for this experiment, since I just don’t relate much to the general topic, and it has several series, so we’ll see for how long I’m able to keep watching ... :-s
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + +
UPDATE:
I finished S01 (I’m procrastinating lmao) and it looks like it’s going to be frustrating with a very drawn out “will-they-won’t-they” of Maeve and Otis. :/ And I feel called out about that because one of my recent exes was a nerdy guy who felt kind of like Otis, except my ex hated women more and was rubbish at talking to people, unlike Otis, hence the “ex” thing.
It’s so unfair that Maeve and Jackson didn’t work out. :( They could have supported and motivated each other but then the thing with her brother (as well as the thing with fucking Otis lmao ugh) ruined everything. :/
Now I love Eric though ♥
The setting in this weird village(??) with all the fancy rich people houses and the weirdly fancy school is kind of bizarre and trippy. (People actually living in the Wye Valley are side eying me rn I’m sure ...) Like Otis’s mum’s house is incredible, with those lovely William Morris wallpapers. (Apparently the setting was indeed meant to be a homage to John Hughes films like The Breakfast Club etc. So it kind of fluctuates between 70s to 2000s decor, and for example has smartphones but no modern cars - it’s like the childhood flashbacks or dreams of someone who grew up in the 80s and 90s ...)
It actually reminds me of the area where I spent my last couple of school years, on the coast - with both very fancy rich people houses, some middle class areas in the towns, white trash farm houses and cottages in the parts away from the coast (that’s where we lived), and a trailer park just like in this show.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + +
UPDATE 2:
Oof, I pretty much couldn’t help but binge it and now I finished S03! The show really grew on me and I care so much about all the characters.
On one hand it’s a bit visually confusing that none of the actors who play the kids are actually 16/17 (most of the actors who play the main characters are around 25), but on the other hand it’s a pretty good and realistic and not exploitative depiction of teenagers and their sex and romance dramas.
So Otis was really annoying for a while and I thought Ruby being with him was a bit fan servicey ... Like how has Otis this much pulling power haha ...
But I suppose it also told a story about Ruby and her shame about aspects of herself and her family, which she externalized by being really mean to everyone else. She was a bit quick to think she loved the first person she happened to open up to about those things and who didn’t judge her for them (i.e. Otis), but it wasn’t really love. And her and Otis kind of very obviously didn’t fit. But the experience will help her accept herself and meet someone who will be perfect for her. ^^ Also I was a bit distracted whenever she was on screen, because Mimi Keene, who plays Ruby, is so incredibly beautiful. *_*
Kedar Williams-Stirling who plays Jackson is so beautiful too *_* (He reminds me of a very serious but impossible crush I had for ages ;___;) Jackson’s story really touches me and I hope S04 will come out soon and that good things will happen to him.
Anyways, whenever Otis was actually interacting with Maeve, he wasn’t annoying (apart from when he was doing jealousy drama with Isaac) ... And tbh I got butterflies when they finally kissed lmao so yeah now I'm really rooting for them ... xD Also if I’m so much like Maeve, where is my Otis :<
I think the end of S03 is kind of exciting for Maeve x Otis, because maybe they are actually so sure about their feelings and each other that it doesn’t matter that they will be apart. (But I don’t remember how long Maeve is going to be in the States ... I hope it’s not long enough for them to do something stupid again :-s Actually it would be so funny if in S04 they are in a happy, exciting and well functioning LDR while everyone else in their school has all kinds of crazy relationship issues!!!! Please?)
Before that I was really rooting for Maeve and Isaac there, but sadly he went behind her back and deleted Otis’s voice message, so it was doomed. :/ And Isaac of course deserves someone who will like him the most.
I was a bit worried that they would get serious but then they would have terrible issues precisely because they have similar family backgrounds and both have abandonment and trust issues etc. from their parents. As it often happens in real life to me for example ... So I’m kind of glad there was just a little taste of something like that, but it ended before it could get really ugly and realistic. :/
Eric’s visit to Lagos was so exciting and I really liked how he went in with expectations of everything being really strict and homophobic, and while it was all that, he also discovered something new and important there about himself and what he wants, and experienced freedom as a gay man that he hadn’t experienced before in England.
(Apparently the Lagos sets were built in Wales, due to covid travel restrictions, with actual sand and gravel imported from Nigeria[!!!]. And I guess they used additional footage for the bird’s eye views of the city.)
Okay and I love Rahim and his kind of deadpan manner ♥♥♥ I really enjoyed every second he was on screen.
I saw at least one post about it already here and I totally agree that the sexual assault theme was depicted in a very realistic, honest and helpful way. Like how it didn’t feel like anything much at first, but then later it all came crashing down. And it was so nice how Aimee got support in different ways from so many people around her.
The two “Spartacus” moments (when everyone was saying ”It’s MY vagina!” & “It’s MY poo!” so nobody could know who it actually was, instead of throwing the one person under the bus) were the absolute best ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ That’s such a powerful thing, and I wish I could experience such solidarity in real life.
0 notes
Text
watching commentary videos about sexual revolutions and how teenagers interact with social media is so strange to me. i was raised fairly gender neutral and wasn’t allowed to Touch social media until i was 14. i know nothing about so many things that some people my age have dedicated their lives to. strange window to be looking through
#looking at sexuality from an outside perspective is so weird to me#i was raised to never really care about anything involving sex or looking sexy#so seeing people make it so much of who they are is just#kinda shocking?#nothing against it live your life bestie#its just weird to me#idk#this is Not an im not like other girls thing#this is just me being confused about the modern teenage experience i never had#there are so many things that i never had to care about as a child#so i know jack shit about them#keeps randomly hitting how little i know about myself lmao#anyway
0 notes
Text
Car Sick P1 ~ Dominic Calvert-Lewin
A/N: This is sort of carried on from this blurb I wrote a while ago, bc I loved the idea and wanted to write more for it, you should probs read that first to catch the vibes. This is for @footballffbarbiex writing challenge based on tv and film. I used this storyline from Modern Family with Gloria and Jay. Once again, no real timeline with this, just made up scenarios. I struggled with the next bit of this so I asked you how you wanted it and you chose 2 parts, here's the 1st. Enjoy :)
Warnings: pregnancy, kids, step parents, injury mention - reader is female
Summary: You thought you were just feeling car sick, turns out it's something else...
gif by @hishairmyweakness - gif by @delstroyer
You were dropping your daughter off at Dele's for a long weekend since he didn't have a match or training to attend. After she had squeezed the biggest hug out of her dad and trudged dirt in his hallway, she perched on the sofa with her ipad and juicebox, leaving you and Dele to catch up.
Dele had been showing you how he redecorated his kitchen so you accepted a drink and decided to stay a little while. Plus you figured the news you had for him should rather be said in person than over the phone.
"Hey, Del, I have something to tell you." You said nervously, leaning your hands on the kitchen island. He turned around and took a sip of the drink he just poured as he walked closer to the other side of the island opposite you. "Go ahead." He replied, his eyebrows knitted in concern at your worried tone.
"Well, remember when we stopped by last Friday since you were playing on her birthday?" you recollected and he nodded along. "And I had one of those herbal teas and a tablet because I was feeling car sick?" "Yeah..." he trailed off quietly, putting his drink on the counter between you. "Turns out I wasn't car sick," he frowned in confusion and looked even more lost than he did a moment ago.
You fiddled your fingers together and took a deep breath, steadying yourself. You knew you could trust Dele with absolutely anything. You'd been close since you were teenagers, grew closer when you started dating and left nothing in the way when you had a baby. Being so young when it happened meant a lot of things turned against you, a lot of people with a lot of opinions trying to dictate your lives and yet you stuck it through. You haven't been together romantically for a while, however your relationship with him never faultered, your connection of trust staying strong.
But it didn't make this any easier to say. It wasn't hard to see when Dele got hit by moments of gloom at the sight of the mini family you were creating with Dominic. While your split years ago was amicable, and neither of you would rekindle that flame again, more than happy with your close friendship, Dele couldn't stop that jealous bubble rising in him when he saw your daughter enjoy spending time with Dom as much as she does with him. Blame his stubbornness but facing change wasn't his strongest suit. This news was going to be a big step away from that picturesque life you both once envisioned together and you desperately didn't want it to drive a wedge between you nor push Dele away. You had settled into a good rhythmic system with him that suited your daughter and your schedules, you'd hate to tarnish that in any way.
So, yes, you hesitated to tell him.
You sighed and picked at your nails, needing to just get it out before it drove you crazy.
"I'm pregnant."
Dele's eyes went wide and his mouth opened a little from shock, the frown lines that creased his forehead disappearing. His breath was taken away. Nothing prepared him to hear those words come from your mouth and know that he wasn't involved. It was bound to happen but it still took him by surprise.
He tilted his head as he looked at you, nervously twiddling your thumbs like you always did, and it only took a few seconds for a smile to slowly grow on his face. "That," he cleared his throat and met your eyes with sincerity, "that's great. Congratulations."
He scuffed his socked feet along the floor as he walked round the counter to wrap you in a warm hug. He squeezed your shoulder and gave your cheek a quick kiss when he pulled away, a genuine smile on his face. No, he wasn't involved this time, but he knew how amazing it was to experience pregnancy and he was certain Dominic would take to it greatly.
"What did Dom say?" He asked, leaning over to grab his glass and take another drink. Your breath caught in your throat and that made Dele side-eye you mid sip. "You haven't told him, have you?" He questioned gently, and you shook your head.
Now it was his turn to sigh.
The glass clinked loudly in the quiet room when he put it back down, and he had a ton of questions he could have asked you and a ton of things he could have told you to do that he thought was right, but it wasn't his place. Not anymore. So he took a moment to think whilst you rubbed your hands down your front to straighten out your t-shirt again.
"Are you going to?" You tutted and looked back up at him incredulously. "Of course I am Del, think it'll be pretty hard to miss when I'll be bursting through my clothes!" You joked and he held his hands up in defence as he chuckled, realising it was a stupid question.
"Are you nervous, then?" He tried again, this time opting for something more reasonable. "More nervous than when I told you for the first time." You admitted. Dele whistled lowly and shook his head with a laugh.
The state you were in a bit under 7 years ago now when you told him you were going to have his child, it was something else. He still insists he hasn't seen someone so frantic, before or since. He could only imagine what was coming Dominic's way.
---
There were plenty of reasons for you to believe Dom would be happy to be a dad. He adored his young brother and truly enjoyed spending time with him when he was back home. He was thoughtful and attentive with all the people he knew so you know he'd be the same, multiplied by a million, when it came to a child that depended on him.
But the way he cared for your daughter above anyone else proved to you, without a doubt, how good he would be. Dom wasn't her biological father, but that never once stopped him loving her the way she deserved. Dom made sacrifices when he needed to and even when he didn't. He'd stay awake if she couldn't sleep, he'd ask to see her on facetime when he was travelling and he always asked her about school, he even did the afternoon pick up with you when he got the chance. If Dom would be such an amazing figure in the life of a little girl he had no obligation to be a part of, just imagine what he'd be like with his own child.
You wouldn't question his want or excitement to have kids with you at any time, having spoken about it before.
Any time except now.
Dom hadn't been himself the last week, and justifiably so. He picked up a knee injury in the Merseyside derby last Saturday that resulted in him hopelessly limping off the pitch with the physio under his arm to hold him up. A torn ACL was the conclusion after a couple hours in the hospital. While an injury was never welcome, a minimum six months out was tough to take. But with the upcoming England tournament he'd been called up for that he will now have to miss, alongside the rest of the Premier League season, it shattered him. His club and his country had important matches this year and it killed him to not be able to help secure some much needed wins for them.
Most of Sunday was spent doting on him, helping him relax and alleviating both his physical and mental pain, offering comfort through his favourite meals and hours of cuddles, something your daughter happily assisted with.
However, by the time Monday rolled around, his rest was stifled by your daughter's birthday party.
Despite how often you'd sat him back down, Dom wasn't used to sitting all day and had helped you decorate the house whilst your girl was at school. The balloons were littered in the front room, the buffet snacks laid out on the dining table, and the banners Dom had pinned on the ceiling blew from the gentle breeze coming in through the back door.
So by the time you pulled into the drive with a car full of young girls eager for sugar, Dom was working on half a bar of energy already. Yet he played along with the party activities and managed to dance, or more shuffle, to some Disney songs on his crutches inbetween sneaking mini sausage rolls and chocolate biscuits.
You could see him getting more tired as each kid left, but "she only turns 6 once, right?", so he persisted on keeping the party lively until your daughter was knocked out in bed, out of her party dress but still wearing the new bracelet she got from Grandma.
You trailed behind Dom with two cups of tea as he hobbled toward the sofa, barely managing to keep himself up despite it only being 9pm. He dropped heavily on the cushions in the corner and let his crutches fall on the carpet, not caring where they landed as long as they stayed within reach. The sigh that left him could have knocked down a tree.
Before you got comfortable, you put his mug on the table and put a random sitcom on the TV. Dom's eyes were closed and his legs were stretched out as best as they could be, his injured knee up on the couch in front of him with a cushion underneath and an ice pack held on top.
"I'm telling you, I feel way too old for this." He muttered just loud enough to hear. "You're only 24." You chuckled a little into your tea at his complaint.
"Yeah," he rolled his head your way, hair falling on his face, "but running after her makes me feel 70, she knocks me out," he spoke quietly but with the last tints of energy in his tone, "and with this peg leg too you gotta change that to 80."
You smiled at him sympathetically and loosely linked your fingers with his, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand as let his eyes close again.
He was joking, it was obvious. But a niggling part of your brain told you that he wasn't just being dramatic.
Admittedly it was a tiring evening with your daughter's friends running around, but with the lack of energy left in Dom, how could a baby be added to that scenario and it not be an issue? Maybe it was the wrong time. Maybe, no definitely, getting pregnant when Dom wasn't shrouded by an injury, when he didn't have frustration on top of frustration on his shoulders, when there wasn't a hyperactive 6 year old that needed attention too - that would definitely be a better time to have a baby. But that wasn't what life had handed you. Life was a little more complicated in its ways than to give you an easy run, you knew that well enough by now.
What concerned you most was how Dom would handle it. Whilst he had picked up parenting duties well over the past couple years, he hadn't been there when your daughter was a baby, nor had he seen how tough it was on you at the time. The thought of raising another was scaring you, so it would surely terrify Dom, doing it for the first time.
Even before the time came to hold them in your arms, being pregnant was no easy deal. So how could he possibly handle the stress of an upcoming baby, the stress of having to look after 2 kids in the future, the stress of a cranky pregnant girlfriend, the stress of prepping the house and himself, all whilst he's hobbling on crutches and having to watch his teammates from the sidelines too?
You sipped your tea and let the TV fill the room as your brain ran overdrive with questioning thoughts, sitting silent next to your boyfriend who's head seemed full of only the sleep he was dreaming of, oblivious to the changes that were coming his way.
#dominic calvert lewin#dominic calvert lewin imagine#dominic calvert lewin x reader#dele#dele alli#dele imagine#dele x reader#football#football imagine#my fic#oneshot#my og post
100 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ikevamp Suitors and Their Reactions to Anime/Manga
This is so random but at around 1am I was thinking about MC and Sebastian sharing their weeb culture from the future to the residents of Comte’s mansion
• Considering MC’s gadgets still have battery and she brought a powerbank, she would show the residents anime, manga, and some episodes from different shows she downloaded
• Dazai was alive during the release of the first anime so he’s the first one MC shows it to ane he is happy to see how animation is vastly improved
• Since MC downloaded a few anime series to watch offline, she and Sebastian argue on which anime Dazai should watch first but eventually settled on Bungou Stray Dogs
• Dazai gets interested and is proud of his ability in the anime because he’s basically OP
• “I like how I’m meaner to Chuuya in this show,” Dazai beams happily, “and his anger issues are very accurate to his true self.” (historically, they also did not get along and Chuuya was more aggressive)
• “160cm? Too tall,” Dazai would point out when he is informed of Chuuya’s height, “He is way shorter. 150cm at most.”
• “This is strange. Akutagawa idolizes me? Was this intentional?” (historically, Dazai was a huge fan of Akutagawa)
• Vincent finds out about what they’ve been doing and wants to join in because he’s curious about modern day art styles
• He falls in love with the anime art style and mesmerizing animation which leads to him wanting to try out digital art
• MC explains the basics and, if MC brought an apple pencil or something similar, she lets him try
• Vincent finds drawing on a screen odd at first since the screen is slippery, but he gets used to it quickly. His main preference is still a canvas, though
• Vincent also tries drawing in the anime art style because he’s never seen it before and thus finds it interesting
• He would probably enjoy lighthearted anime such as Amagi Brilliant Park, but also likes ones with darker themes. Madoka Magica’s storytelling and symbolism through their art (especially with the witches) would seem super cool to him. Their art is so unique he’d possibly take inspiration from it for his new pieces
• His brother is a sucker for romance and would probably enjoy Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama and Oregairu. Would cry while watching A Silent Voice and Plastic Memories
• Everyone would be really intrigued, especially Theo and Leonardo, because the fact that everything is hand-drawn is amazing (it takes hundreds of frames for even a few minutes of animation!)
• They also find the idea of manga really cool because telling stories through drawings and text in a unique format is completely new to them (especially Arthur, who is also an author)
• Le Comte won’t be as surprised as the other residents and he’d be more interested in the plot. Might enjoy Ouran High School Host Club because just the idea of a host club intrigues him very much
• Leonardo would most-likely enjoy anything and is open-minded about various genres, but I think he’d be most curious about the REALLY strange ones such as Kakegurui and Hetalia.
• “Teenagers gambling? Personifications of countries? That’s so interesting wdym”
• Eventually the Japanese trio talk about anime often
• When Arthur overhears them talking about a famous detective show (Detective Conan) that was not Sherlock Holmes, he becomes intrigued
• “900 episodes and still on-going!?” Arthur might exclaim, but MC and Sebastian assure him that a lot of people catch up on the show easily because they’ve been watching it since childhood
• Arthur finds out that Conan’s name was inspired by Arthur Conan Doyle and he’s very touched that there are people who acknowledge him as an author and not just as the man behind Sherlock Holmes
• He’d also enjoy Danganronpa and really likes the murder cases, especially the ones at the 5th chapter (from personal experience they’re confusing af)
• Your Lie In April? Mozart overhears them talking about it and becomes interested. He doesn’t know some of the composers they mention since they didn’t exist in his time so he’s curious to hear their pieces
• Kaori being a rebel and changing up the pieces? Kousei’s trauma and Kaori’s death? Mozart won’t admit it but he absolutely loves the show’s emotional aspects and how accurate the music playing is
• After seeing Arthur and Mozart’s reactions, he secretly wants to know their tastes and how they’ll comment on anime incorporating their fields of expertise
• Isaac would probably enjoy Steins Gate because they discuss about various time travel theories such as black hole, wormhole, and light speed. He’s also an astronomer, so he’ll be really excited about the newer stuff he’s unfamiliar with (such as Einstein’s relativity). He’d probably do research on them afterwards
• Napoleon would enjoy anime with a lot of action, such as Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and even Assassination Classroom (since he teaches in his spare time, would probably cry at the ending). However, he also enjoys cooking, so he’d definitely enjoy Shokugeki No Soma since they come up with such unique takes on dishes (the foodgasms amuse him very much)
• Jean would probably enjoy anime centered on religion, such as A Certain Magical Index or even Noragami (though it’s mainly about Shintoism)
• Shakespeare would enjoy anime with tragic endings, no doubt. Clannad, Elfen Lied, Grave of The Fireflies, you name it. He’d also like Another and Blood-C because there is so much gore and he loves it
• Sebastian wanted to show them yaoi at some point for his “research” but MC had to stop him
• “I think we’ve shown them enough anime,” MC would say, however Sebastian assures her it’ll be completely alright
• “What should we show them next?”
• MC pondered on this, but ultimately she thought of something wicked yet extremely entertaining
• “Sebastian! They’re vampires, remember?”
• “Yes, of course I do.”
• “Why not show them Vampire Knight? It’s a middle school throwback!”
• “That’s... a great idea. Let us proceed immediately.”
• It would be an understatement to say that the residents of the mansion are baffled as to why people in the 21st century would enjoy such things
• Arthur isn’t complaining though
• Sebastian speaks up, “okay, now we will show you a very special genre, yao—“
• “SEBASTIAN, NO”
thanks for reading my strange headcanon even though it’s super messy and makes no sense
#ikemen vampire#ikevamp#ikevamp napoleon#ikevamp mozart#ikevamp leonardo#ikevamp vincent#ikevamp theo#ikevamp arthur#ikevamp isaac#ikevamp jean#ikevamp dazai#ikevamp comte#ikevamp shakespeare#ikevamp sebastian
169 notes
·
View notes
Note
I don’t really know where I’m going with this but do you have any Oromis/Morzan headcanons? Before or during the fall, or Oromis’ feelings towards Morzan afterwards?
I have a few! More than a few apparently, I'm just finishing this up and uh...yeah that got longer than I thought!
I’m going to do my best to leave Glaedr and Morzan’s dragon out of these because while they’re large parts of each other's lives and even maybe personalities considering how deeply bonded Riders and their dragons can be, I want to be sure I’m keeping the characters separate. Kinda like how you shouldn’t constantly group identical twins together as a single entity, ya know?
Alright let's start off with Morzan. Time for some backstory!
Modern Inheritance!Morzan
Morzan was born into a family of low level nobles. By the time Morzan was about six or seven though, the family had fallen out of favor and was struggling to keep up appearances, spending money they didn’t necessarily have on lavish items and acting increasingly narcissistic in a desperate attempt to hold onto the standing and power they once had.
Morzan probably started showing antisocial behavior around this time, mainly impulsive petty theft, inserting himself in dangerous situations, and manipulation through charm with adults and intimidation and violence with other children. Due to his family’s last shreds of political strength and their long time in the area, most of these incidents were swept under the rug or outright ignored by his family. This generally left a very angry, disgusted-with-others, burgeoning narcissistic young Morzan to his own devices.
When Morzan was chosen by his dragon, his parents were quietly glad that he wouldn’t be their responsibility anymore. They didn’t disclose any of his troubling behaviors and Morzan was quick to understand that he would need to tamp the more obvious ones down and manipulate others into hiding his transgressions.
Despite all this, Morzan and his dragon do deeply care for each other. Due to Morzan’s mind linking with the hatchling, there was a sort of evening out of his behaviors as some were ‘shared’ do the hatchling and some of the hatchling’s personality was ‘shared’ with Morzan. This is what helped Morzan fly under the radar for so much longer until his eventual betrayal.
On a lighter note, Morzan shot up like a weed when he hit puberty, once growing nearly five inches (~12.7 cm) over the span of a year. It took a year or so for his muscles to visibly bulk up, so he was this tall gangly teenager for a while. His clothes constantly needed altering.
Initially Morzan doesn’t really know what to think of Oromis and Glaedr. His family was always distracted from giving him the attention and nurturing he needed, and suddenly he has not only this baby dragon who he can share his frustrations and emotions with but also parental figures.
Eventually he warmed up to them, but more in the sense that he became attached to their attention and the praise he got when he did well in magic and other lessons. He didn’t showboat as much, but would push himself to get more compliments, praise and attention from Oromis. Oromis saw this more as Morzan taking his training seriously. There were a few instances of Morzan and his dragon being pointed out as instigators of some scuffles or small acts of possible, unproven acts of sabotage harming or tripping up other Riders-in-training, but these were generally believed to be accidents or bad luck.
Morzan’s bullying and belittling of Brom was the result of Morzan feeling like his unfettered access to Oromis and Glaedr’s attention was being threatened. He knew he couldn’t get away with physically injuring Brom and Saphira I, so his physical actions never really went past ‘accidental’ full force hits in sparring and roughhousing. If Brom got praise or compliments from Oromis, Morzan would seethe quietly, eventually exploding in rage at some later point after it built up. Again, Oromis merely thought this was just adolescent growing pains.
Wooo! That is getting LONG, eh? I’ve got more, but for now I’m going to move on to Oromis and his feelings around Morzan’s betrayal and link you to whatever extra stuff I add later. I’m really unsure about the timeline of when Morzan betrayed the Riders and when it was known that he had, so I’m mostly going to skip that chunk. Let's go!
Modern Inheritance!Oromis
Even without 100% knowing/being sure of Morzan’s betrayal, I think there was a whirlwind of confusion and general chaos when Galbatorix murdered Shurikan’s original Rider. Who was a child. A Rider had murdered a child Rider and while everyone knew Galbatorix was unstable I don’t think anyone would have expected that. Oromis was swept up in all this and didn’t have time to really ask where Morzan was. I mean, Morzan was a grown man at that point and well beyond Oromis’s control.
Morzan’s involvement was probably confirmed without a doubt at the initial attack on Ilirea, and Oromis and Glaedr didn’t have time to process this until after their brief capture.
Oromis felt some really strong guilt. That’s putting it bluntly. Let’s expand it, shall we?
First off, I think Oromis felt some guilt over not being able to help in the sort of final big battle at Ilirea. He was previously quite powerful since he was on the council that refused Galbatorix a new dragon (that’s a whole other topic to look at later on btw), and despite his age and wisdom I think it’s safe to assume that any sudden event causing massive life changes can be pretty shocking. Oromis felt powerless and after the deaths that occured in Galbatorix’s initial attack with the Forsworn on the Riders, I think he knew that there would be more. And all he and Glaedr could do was hide in Ellesméra and tend to their wounds and new maladies.
As they healed I’m pretty sure Oromis spent a lot of time thinking ‘how could I have stopped this?’ Hindsight is...well, whatever-elves-have/20, and Oromis would have put all the signs together that were telling him that there was something off about Morzan from the start. He probably thought subconsciously that he was fixing Morzan and didn’t want to acknowledge just how dangerous that little 10 year old boy and scrawny hatchling he had met all those years ago had become as he grew. There was also a lot of guilt post-Ilirea’s final fall around not protecting Brom from Morzan enough, and feeling like a lot of Brom’s pain was Oromis’s own fault because of this.
Oh man, Oromis also has heaps of survivors guilt about the Riders that, while he does work through it and focuses on extending his life to train the next Rider, never really fades completely. He understands that he could not fight in his condition, but there’s always the nagging ‘what if’ questions that can rear up unexpectedly.
Once he learns of Murtagh and Thorn and their forced fealty to Galbatorix, I think Oromis’s guilt probably pushed him over to definitely join the fight at Gil’ead. It’s likely that he feels that if he had separated Brom and Morzan, had taken the signs of Morzan’s growing antisocial disorder seriously and gotten him proper help, and hadn’t been so blind during the Golden Age, then in some strange way he may have prevented everything from happening. Morzan wouldn’t have let Galbatorix into Ilirea, Shruikan wouldn’t have been stolen, the Forsworn wouldn’t have been influenced by Galbatorix and Morzan (who used his manipulative charm to sway some), and it all comes to, in the end, Murtagh and Thorn, both relatively innocent in this and dragged in only due to parentage and some situations which they have no control over, would have never been forced through torture and cruelty to join Galbatorix and fight people they once saw as friends and family.
Overall I think Oromis, while having processed/processing and come to terms with the Riders Fall and the hand he inadvertently had in it due to his connection to and, in some ways, his failures surrounding Morzan, he still carries this deep feeling of guilt. He doesn’t let it simply sit there though, as he pushes himself to be able to train the next generation, but it’s always there.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH okay that’s what I’ve got for now. Holy shit that’s a lot of bulletpoints, huh?
I spent some time researching antisocial behavior and Antisocial Personality Disorder, but per usual I want to state that I am by no means an expert, and the behaviors and traits portrayed here are not the only results, symptoms, or scenarios that can occur when someone has antisocial behavior or ASPD. Mental health is a difficult subject to write about, especially when I have no personal or second hand experience with the specifics, and I’m always open to educating myself on these topics. I am doing my best to learn so that I don’t stereotype or offend. If there are comments/concerns/critique please please don’t ever feel bad about messaging me privately, via the comments, via reblog, or through the ask box point out what I got wrong or if you simply want to share your experiences or concerns.
I’ll probably have more Morzan specific backstory and ideas later on, but for now I need to make some dinner and get to work on the other ask. Cheers!
Thank you again to @siriusly-misunderstood-creatures for the ask! I always appreciate asks and comments, they make my brain work!!
#modern inheritance#modern inheritance cycle#inheritance cycle#the cyclists#eragon#brom#morzan#oromis#modern inheritance ask#modern inheritance asks#modern inheritance lore#glaedr#morzan's dragon
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Queer Trauma, Coming Out, & the Long Road to Self-Love and Healing
As I’ve reflected on my past, I’ve discovered that my adolescence may be one of, if not THE most traumatic time of my life thus far as a queer person. The last few months with my incredible therapist have made me realize that the years of anxiety, panic, fear, self-loathing, confusion, and depression have scarred me deeper than I had previously thought. She also made me realize that this is at least partially because I have never really talked about it openly and in depth in a healthy and productive way before, which is what inspired me to start this blog to share my experiences with others that are currently struggling with their identity, or to allow those that are also currently healing from the trauma of their previously closeted life feel a little more seen.
I knew from a VERY young age that I was different, but didn’t know how or what it meant. I was a lonely kid for a lot of my childhood without many friends. I didn’t want to play football with the boys during recess. I sought companionship at lunch with a table full of girls more often than not, which in itself also made me feel incredibly self conscious at the time as well.
I asked, (with incredible shame) for the “girl’s toy” from the backseat in the McDonald’s drive-thru because I loved to play with the mini-Barbies and craft entire storylines for them. They were easier to hide in my room than regular sized Barbies. I spent most summers off school alone playing video games and reading book and book after book. I didn’t really click with the boys down the street. I was obsessed with Britney Spears and the color purple. I was lonely without really knowing what it meant.
I feel as though that fear I felt in my childhood and adolescence held me back from SO much. Middle school in particular was absolute hell. I hated it. I always felt constantly insecure and uncomfortable. I had absolutely zero confidence or self love. I hated my body and how I looked.
While other kids experienced their first relationships and first feelings of romantic love, I was convinced that it was just not a possibility for me. On top of being deeply closeted, scared, confused, lonely, and in deep denial, girls didn’t go for me anyway. I was the awkward chunky guy struggling with his identity feeling like he had to make up for it by working extra hard to get perfect grades and give himself 100% to other people. I tried not to think about it too much, but hearing about relationships, seeing people kiss in the hallways between classes, and girls talking about what they liked in boys which was the complete opposite of me... it was hell.
To make my self consciousness worse, I felt supremely uncomfortable in gym class and the boys’ locker room in particular. I was ashamed of my body and also self conscious for wanting to look at the other boys; terrified that they would catch on and beat me senseless. Hearing them consistently call each other f*g in a very VERY negative context drove me deep into the closet as the identity I already felt shame for was directly correlated with being a ridiculed outcast, and something that was inherently, disgustingly wrong and unacceptable. The worst insult teenage boys could deliver to each other in the safety of an unchaperoned locker room in a hick town often not kind to queer people or those that were different. I SO desperately wanted to fit in with the other boys instead of being any version of who I actually was.
Part of that façade of blending in with my hetero peers involved having a girlfriend for two months in 8th grade. We didn’t even kiss, let alone approach any sexual situations. I’m sure she had her suspicions. I was utterly obsessed with the concept of blending in by having a girlfriend like the other boys and just having someone special in my life, even if we really didn’t even do any couple things.
Upon reflection, I don’t think the concept of ever being sexual with her ever crossed my mind in the slightest. Even the idea of kissing her scared the hell out of me, and not just from first kiss nerves. Deep down I knew it wasn’t right for me. Don’t EVER tell a kid they’re too young to know. Fast forward to modern times, my first kiss with a girl was with a close friend YEARS after I came out. Go figure.
The idea of caring about and loving myself was non-existent at that time. It’s a very VERY new and ongoing journey for me. I didn’t really care about myself at all. I hadn’t learned how to. Mom was in and out of cancer treatments, and would later pass during my senior year of college and kick off my coming out process, but that’s a whole other post for another day. Spending pretty much my entire childhood watching mom deal with being sick, I didn’t want to cause my family any more discomfort. I was full of self loathing, fear, and confusion, but it seemed irrelevant and unimportant because I didn’t want to be a hindrance.
Instead, I tried so desperately to be the perfect kid and son by befriending my teachers, being a model student, and joining band and a bunch of organizations to stay as busy as possible to stay distracted and impress everyone else.I didn’t love myself because I didn’t think I was allowed to or deserved to in my own head. While I did finally make more meaningful friends in high school, I continued to go through the motions to make my family proud to make up for the scared closeted kid who thought he had to make up for his queerness as though it were a shameful weakness, and it seemed to be the only thing that could possibly matter at the time.
Non-surprisingly, I never really knew any openly queer boys in grade school. It probably legitimately wasn’t all that safe to come out in that environment. I’ll never forget the two boys I saw holding hands in a Wal-Mart that absolutely shook up my entirely reality, because I had never seen romantic same-sex affection in person before.
There was a lesbian couple at my school, but people said awful, degrading things about them behind their backs constantly and acted like they were the biggest freaks. Another boy in my grade in high school hadn’t come out yet officially but was very flamboyant, and thus was treated just as awful as the lesbian couple, if not worse. Other kids just regularly said despicable things about him without even knowing him at all. I even heard parents make blatantly homophobic jokes about him.
His life had to have been hell, and as a fully out queer adult, I still regret not being able to stand up for him more. That definitely forced me deeper into the closet. He wasn’t even out but got talked about like he was some disgusting abomination. How could I ever assume that I could ever come out, let alone kiss, date, and love another boy? I HATED the idea of any attention being placed on me, so I just wanted to survive school at that point.
I had multiple people throughout high school ask me if I were gay just as though it were the most casual question rather than a triggering inquiry that sent me into a mental frenzy every damn time it was presented. Having one of the jock boys ask me such a deeply personal question in passing on the way to my seat in Algebra class was traumatizing. I of course always said no, as at the time I was still convinced it was a passing phase and that I couldn’t actually be gay.
At home, in the days of Myspace, I got anonymous messages telling me they were pretty sure I was gay. The anonymity was arguably worse in some ways.
At a young age, I became hyper aware of how I carried myself, talked, and acted. I loathed hearing my voice or seeing myself in pictures, for fear of sounding too feminine or standing or emoting too gay. I obsessed over the concept that boys and girls carried their books a certain way, or the boys would be labelled as queer. I was paranoid about where I shopped for clothes, the colors I wore, and the length and fit of my shorts.
In middle school, I got a lilac colored trapper keeper for school that I ultimately had my parents take back to the store for a different one because I felt so self conscious about it all day. At home I played with my little Barbies, but didn’t dare tell the kids at school for fear of rejection and isolation. Overall, I felt grossly incompetent, irrelevant, and unimportant in my own mind. Unworthy of love and of course, deeply ashamed for my attraction to the other boys.
I never had anyone whatsoever to help guide me through the coming out process, because I didn’t know a single queer person who could. I’ve now dedicated a good amount of my energy trying to be that person I desperately could have used then for anyone else that needs that role to be filled, and for someone to tell them that someone is incredibly proud of them. An obscene amount of queer people don’t ever hear “I’m so proud of you!” when they really need it the most.
I also didn’t have any good queer representation on TV or in movies, so I really did feel completely alone at times. Most queer characters in media existedly solely to be made fun of and mocked, ratcher than celebrated, properly represented, or God forbid, given a legitimate love story, and the public’s reaction was so frequently one of such repugnance and disapproval.
This was also probably about the time that a close family member told me that he had punched a gay guy for hitting on him when he was younger, a story he again felt the need to share with a now ex-boyfriend and I when we were dating, as though that’s not a horrifying thing for an already scared and closeted queer to hear from their own family.
I think during middle school in particular is when my anxiety and depression issues started, but I assumed either that I was being a baby and that my feelings were invalid, or that it was just teenage angst. The idea that boys and men should mask their emotions and feelings and feel shame rather than expressing them was, (and seemingly appears to continue to be) a very real thing in small towns and society in general.
It didn’t occur to me at the time that I was experiencing varying levels of almost daily trauma that would fuck me up well into adulthood. If you take anything at all from this post, let it be that the conversation around mental health, (and men in particular in this instance) NEEDS to change.
Another particularly noteworthy event in my queer adolescence was when two of my friends, (both girls, shocker) discovered gay porn on my computer. While they pestered me about if it were mine while they laughed, I of course lied. I felt a deep shame and utter humiliation. On reflection, fucking IMAGINE if they had been able to be gentle and understanding with me and told me they loved me and still would even if I were gay. From then on I was terrified that they would bring that day up to our other friends as a joke. Perhaps they did a time or two, I don’t recall. These same friends made jokes about the queer kid I mentioned earlier, and both parents of one of the girls regularly gossiped and made homophobic jokes about him when I was at their house
By the time school dances rolled around, I knew I would never be able to go with anyone but friends. Even if I weren’t still deeply closeted, I’m pretty sure my school still had pretty strict rules against bringing same-sex dates to Prom. While I definitely had fun with my friends at the dances we went to, I so desperately longed for a world where I could dance with a boy who loved me like everyone else was able to.
The loneliness and isolation I felt at the end of those nights could be unbearable because it didn’t seem possible for me, even as I looked into the future. I was fully convinced I would live a very lonely life without anyone to love me the way I craved. I didn’t belong in that world, and wouldn’t ever be set up for that kind of happiness, joy, and feeling of content. I would live for everyone else but myself because that’s just the way the world worked for us queers.
I wish I had had just one single person then who gave me full permission to be my authentic queer self on any level. Someone who could hug me and tell me life after high school and college could and would be vastly different. Someone to tell me I wasn’t an unlovable disgusting freak, but rather a kind-hearted boy who deserved a deep love someday because I was a valid and gentle soul who deserved the world. I certainly deserved more than the shame and pain that constantly haunted me.
Maybe then I wouldn’t have thought about death before 30 so much and obsessed over it well into my college career. I might have realized that I needed to learn to be gentle with myself and take care of and prioritize me and my own happiness. So many people let me down and convinced me that I was a filthy sinner and an over-emotional kid with invalid perspectives and feelings. As most of my closest friends, (that I cannot stress enough have been the ones to save my life and encourage the authenticity that I present so proudly today) came into my life after I had already come out fully, they weren’t around during those dark early struggles.
Sometimes as an adult I still wonder what it would have felt like and how profoundly different my life could be if someone had held me close and sincerely told me they’re proud of me for what I survived and overcame, and told me that they can’t wait to see my eyes light up with the love I’ve always dreamed of in a boy, and that I still continue to seek.
Young, baby gay Travis would be in absolute awe if he knew what life had in store for him back then. To see a future version of himself painting his nails, wearing whatever he wanted, dancing with strangers at pride festivals, having the time of his life at drag shows with his queer family and falling in love with boys? Proudly holding a boyfriend’s hand walking downtown in a busy city? Openly telling his dad about the cute boy he’s going on a date with? Going Facebook official with a boy? Being a super vocal advocate and inspiration and mentor to not only queer family, but to people he hardly talks to but manages to influence and inspire just by unashamedly being himself? Genuinely looking forward to kissing his new husband in front of family and friends on his wedding day, knowing it’ll be one of the happiest days of his entire life?
Holy. Actual. Fuck.
Travis of six or seven years ago wouldn’t have even dared to dream this big, let alone baby gay Travis. He probably would have been utterly mortified but SO comforted to see that future life when he didn’t believe it to be any level of possible.
I’m so fucking proud of myself for this journey, and no one will ever take that away from me or water down my trauma or the grueling work I’ve put in. Genuinely, this is the one thing in my life that makes me absolutely burst with pride.
I think I want to learn how to keep baby Travis in mind with this pride without having to revisit the trauma in the process. Look back at him with open arms, excited to see him learn and blossom into his actual self someday. Even if he could have desperately used someone like the me I am today, he survived then, and continues to persevere today.
He’s queer as fuck, and proud to shout it from the rooftops. He’s a voice and an advocate for the voiceless. A shining light and beacon of hope for those still navigating their terrifying escape from their closeted life. He’s going to meet a man someday and love him so deeply in the way baby Travis always dreamed of. Above all, he’s going to continue to make that little guy so incredibly proud because he knows now the importance of loving himself in the process.
I’m so proud of that scared little boy. I just wish he could have known then how proud he would make himself one day.
As you talk with the queer people in your life, please keep in mind that just about all of us have incredible trauma directly tied to our identities. Talk to them with love, compassion, and understanding. Tell them how proud of them you are for pursuing their own happiness in the face of oppression and rejection.
Demand better from elected officials. Advocate for us. Shut down homophobic ideals, even if you think it’ll make your family and friends uncomfortable to hear. Support queer content, artists and creators. Be a proud ally, but don’t ever allow yourself to take the spotlight away from actual queer people or our queer spaces. Mourn, love, and celebrate with us.
Understand why pride is SO fucking important to us, and why you never have to worry about needing your own pride events. Listen to us and love us for exactly who we are, and were always meant to be. Love is the most incredible, beautiful, and often rare human experience we’re able to experience during our short time on this planet, and it should always be celebrated.
Happy Pride!
#pride#gay#lgbt#journaling#love#queer#coming out#coming out stories#queer trauma#adolescent trauma#self love#healing#trauma
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can I request a Levi x reader modern AU where they are high schoolers second year and someone and the reader both have a crush on Levi and Levi acts kinda harsh on the reader when she gets hurt but only because he really likes her but his action makes her think he hates her so she gives up on her crush you can pick the ending
From Cindy: Thanks for participating in my 500 follower event anon! I’m so biased for Levi. This request ended up being longer than most (almost 1500 words). I also had fun trying to adapt Levi to a high school setting. I hope everyone likes how this turned out!
High School AU - (Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader)
The end of September was a busy time for the teenagers at your high school. After a few weeks into the school year, students were getting back into their routine and hopefully becoming comfortable with the new teachers and classes in their schedule. While the carefree memories of summer faded away, the excitement for homecoming season began to build. As a member of the student council, you were even more aware of the importance of this event. Things had been a little chaotic for you last year since you were just a freshman, but now you were a second year and planned to use the experience you’d gained to make your class stand out above the rest.
A small group of your classmates were already waiting for you when you arrived at school an hour early on the Monday that marked the first day of Spirit Week. It was hard to keep your motivation when you had to wake up and get to school earlier than normal, but you knew it would be worth it when the upperclassmen arrived to find you’d already started without them.
“Good! Everyone’s here!” The next person to show up was the student council president himself. Your groggy brain kick started when you saw that Levi Ackerman was with him. You hadn’t been sure he’d participate in the week of festivities leading up to the homecoming dance this year. He wasn’t even really a member of the student council, and he never seemed all that interested in getting hyped up on school spirit. Last year, he hadn’t even gone to the homecoming parade or the dance even though he’d assisted with all the preparations. It seemed all his efforts were done merely out of a sense of loyalty to his best friend who was the student council president.
“Levi is looking gorgeous as usual,” you hear one of the girls in your group lean in and whisper to another classmate standing next to her.
“I guess,” The classmate shrugs, “if you’re into the whole ‘small, dark and mysterious’ thing.” The first girl slaps her on the arm playfully even though it wasn’t an uncommon opinion of Levi. He mostly kept to himself and didn’t seem to have a whole lot of friends.
“He’s not that short!” she defends Levi. “Anyway, it’s his eyes that get me. They’re so intense. It gives me the shivers!”
“Thanks for oversharing,” the classmate lets out a laugh. “If you’re really that into him though, why don’t you ask him to homecoming?”
“Oh! Good idea!” The first girl claps her hands together. “Maybe I will!”
You try to tune out their conversation after that and listen to the student council president explain the tasks that needed to be done before the bell rang for the first class. In a way, it was nice to know someone else had seen through Levi’s tough exterior, but at the same time you’d also been crushing on him for longer than you cared to admit and the thought of having competition for someone who already felt unobtainable was disheartening.
“Be careful on that ladder!” Somehow, you’d ended up having to hang up a banner above the entrance to the cafeteria with both Levi and the girl you’d heard talking about him outside. It was difficult to enjoy the chance to be around Levi with her obvious flirting and him bossing you around.
“How does this look, Levi?” the girl asks from the side of the door opposite from you where she was holding the other end of the banner. “It is even?” Levi’s sharp eyes flick away from where you’re perched for just a moment as he replies.
“It’s fine,” he tells her flatly and then turns his focus back on you. “Hurry up and tie up your end and get down before you end up falling and breaking your neck.”
You do what he says even though you were starting to get your feelings hurt. It didn’t make sense for him to only nag you about safety when the other girl was doing the exact same thing you were. Did something about you come off as especially clumsy?
“Hey, Levi!” the other girl climbs down from her ladder and skips over to him. “I was wondering if you had a date to homecoming yet?” The boldness of her question throws you off, causing you to miss the last step of the ladder and slide the rest of the way down awkwardly. Thankfully, it hadn’t been that far of a fall so it was more of just a startle than anything.
“Idiot!” Levi was suddenly in front of you, looking intimidating and angry. “I told you to be careful!” He reaches down and snatches up your wrist to look at your hand. You’re surprised to see a small cut on one of your fingers. It must’ve been caused by a sharp piece of the ladder when you slipped. But it was hardly even bleeding, so you had to assume Levi’s extreme reaction was born from his apparent dislike for you. You weren’t sure what you’d ever done to him, but it seemed clear that he would never like you the way you liked him. As you made your way to the bathroom to take care of your finger, you vowed to get over your feelings for him since they were obviously one sided.
The satisfaction of seeing the upperclassmen react to the decorations your class had put up around the school lifted your spirits a bit during the day, but you were still feeling a little mopey when the final bell chimed to dismiss you from your last class. You make your way through the crowded hallway and get a bit of a shock when you find Levi waiting for you by your locker. You hoped he wasn’t there to yell at you for anything else
“How’s your finger?” the question comes out sounding impatient.
“It’s fine,” you reply a little awkwardly. “It was just a scratch.”
“That’s good,” Levi sounded just as uncomfortable as you felt, and you wondered why he’d be bothered to ask over such a small thing anyway. Maybe he thought you were so accident prone that you’d found a way to injure yourself even more over the course of the day.
“Okay,” the weird silence made you want to run away. “I’d better get going now.” You get the stuff you need from your locker and turn to make your escape.
“Wait,” Levi calls you back, but after a few moments of more quiet you lose your patience.
“What is your deal?” you throw up your hands in exasperation. “I’m sorry if hurting myself annoyed you or something, but it was an accident.” Levi raises his eyebrows, realizing he was being misunderstood.
“I wasn’t annoyed,” he explains before averting his eyes. “I was just worried that it might be worse than it looked.”
“What?” Your confusion draws his fierce gaze back to your face.
“I’d rather not see you get hurt at all,” he continues. “That’s why I wanted you to be careful.”
“Oh.” He was still dancing around his true meaning, but you were starting to think you understood.
“So, what did you tell that girl,” You hoped it wasn’t too random to change the subject, “that asked you to the dance?”
“I told her no,” Levi says it as if that should be obvious.
“Okay,” you still weren’t sure about asking him to go with you. He was a tough guy to read, and you didn’t want to scare him away. It was possible that he’d rejected that girl simply because he didn’t want to go to the dance. “Are you going to stay after and help the student council make the float for the homecoming parade today?”
“Are you going to be there?” he asks and you nod your head. “Then yes.” You’re thrown off by the possibility of him attending just to spend time with you, and it seemed he caught even himself off guard with what he’d said because suddenly there’s a slight flush of embarrassment on his cheeks.
“Do you want to walk together?” you say and he quickly accepts the offer. You smile and relax a bit knowing that your first assumption that he hated you was wrong. Maybe Levi was a little awkward about expressing his emotions, but you could deal with that as long as you still got the chance to spend more time with him and see where this new friendship might lead.
#Levi Ackerman x reader#aot x reader#snk x reader#Levi Ackerman#High School au#Cindy's 500 follower event#Cindy's Writing
136 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chapter 93 - Fancy chair, love it.
- So my theory is that Raizel just never learnt how to write in Lukedonian either.
- Tbh the janitor is suspicious. Like how hard was he googling M-21?
Chapter 94 - SUYIIIIIIIIIIII
- Ah geez the first of the racistly depicted characters.
Chapter 96 - Suyi getting mad at the kids for complaining about Hansu is so funny like when she first appears you think she's perhaps a stuck up celebrity or a pushover but it turns out she's just a really sweet friend.
- Suyi being stunned by Rai's looks but not falling for him (same with Yuna) is one of the things I always liked about Noblesse. Like sure in the first meeting they get blushy but I'll just jot that down to the inherent beauty of nobles since I can't relate to it at all.
Chapter 97 - Frankenstein's house always being stocked with so much food because the kids just started coming over daily is hilarious. Even funnier since Frankenstein obviously thinks it's overkill but is the one stocking up anyway.
Chapter 98 - Regis and Seira 🥺 Seira's og outfit was the best one she had like it only goes downhill from here folks.
Chapter 99 - It would have been so funny if Frankenstein went "they must be cosplayers" instead of realising the two were nobles.
- Regis taking all the initiative shows how it's his roadtrip coming of age journey which is pretty clever. Also Seira's just like that but still.
- Shinwoo stop exercising in class bro. Do not flex on the rest of us this is so rude 😭😭😭
- Regis confidently saying he's a noble in class to humans he doesn't plan on mind controlling... Baby boy why are you so dumb? How is this hiding your identity??? And Seira just lets him,,, good for her.
Chapter 100 - Ah yes their elegance boner at seeing Raizel... nobles are so fucking weird.
- M-21 thinking he won't get any information because of his time at the Union and thus being surprised at how open Frankenstein is is actually really sweet. Like yeah I still think Frankenstein is an unethical and questionable person but he is kind to most humans (werewolves and nobles can go fuck themselves I guess lmao).
Chapter 101 - The second hand embarrassment I felt when M-21 called the two noblesse... how do I even consume content?
- Yeah 100% most union members don't know the difference between nobles and vampires. I bet they'd classify jiangshi as either mutants or werewolves. Or to be more specific, that would be the classification given to low leveled members. On one hand I think it's dumb that the Union gives members twisted information because how would they even use it? But on the other hand it makes sense since it prevents said members from seeking nobles for help. After all, if they believe even the 'noblesse' are vampires that drink blood, than obviously they won't see them as possible escape routes.
- 'Noblesse only applies to one person'. Yeah because Rai's brother is fucking dead. And so is whoever was his predecessor/parent.
Chapter 102 - Those bullies got backup so fucking fast like Shinwoo literally just asked Regis and Seira if they were okay then boom! They're back.
Chapter 103- Regis going ??? essentially when Shinwoo tells him to take care of Seira is so funny like yes ofc he's confused she's literally a clan leader + noble females aren't physically weaker + noble women work out just like the men.
- Rude, Regis. You can't just ask someone why they're mingling among humans. You're doing that too. Who doesn't mingle among humans smh. Even cats and pigeons mingle with us.
Chapter 105 - Love how everyone else in the household is so sick of ramyeon like Raizel stop please you're being selfish.
Chapter 106 - Frankenstein is the definition of the 'right in front of my salad?' meme at Regis and M-21 arguing at the dinner table. Then there's Seira and Raizel just waiting for the noodles to get soggy so he can't even eat. Wish Urokai could see him getting tortured like this.
- The soldier rejecting backup because he knows the enemy is the Union hurts my heart. Wanting to prevent casualties... iwi
Chapter 107 - Shark how tf do you not know about South Korea? That's one of the asian countries people actually know about. I guess maybe it's because this is from around a decade back? K-pop is more recent and made the country more visible I guess.
- Ah yes Takeo. Forever known as "the first time I read Noblesse and he appeared I thought he was Marie's sister since they had the same hairstyle". Like I thought that before even learning about the Aris Taivra fiasco. My power 😔
- Oh don't worry M-21, Frankenstein stopped experimenting on people 830 years ago. You know, as one does.
Chapter 108 - Shark has like no general knowledge. Geography? History? Tf is that I guess.
- Tao saying they're the worst possible people for the job is so funny like yeah he's right. "All we do is massacre people in warzones why are we in Seoul?"
- The rest of the squad complain or are confused about the peace meanwhile Takeo is vibing. He's the normal guy TM of the group.
- Ah yes noble lore. If you take canon at face value than the fact that nobles were around when humans first emerged and there being about 2-3 clan leaders before the current generation means you can estimate their lifespan. Ofc it differs wildly depending on how you interpret the 'first humans' part. I'll assume there were 3 generations before the current generation (mvp lord being the third generation) and won't be adding the current generation since a 0.5-2k years is kinda meaningless. I'll also be assuming that mvp lord entered eternal sleep at around the same age as his predecessors and that he would have died soon from old age anyway (since canonically they do have limited lifespans). If we assume it's just the first human ancestors (7 million years ago) than the average pureblood lifespan is 2.33 million years. If we assume it's when homo sapiens started to emerge (300k years ago) than it's 100k years. If it's about modern humans (130k years ago) than it's 43.3k years. Regardless I'll ignore it since my hcs are that nobles are effectively immortal unless killed and that the 2-3 clan leaders is a misconception due to a mix of Gechutel just straight up lying, because there are clans that have had fewer clan leaders, because I have nobles settling on Lukedonia only 30k years ago, and because Gechutel is factoring in his own age of 10.2k so it's more like 'There have been 2-3 Ru clan leaders before the Ru clan leader 10k years ago since after we settled in Lukedonia'. There's also the possibility that nobles didn't have lords or clan leaders until a few thousand years ago in canon but the species has existed for much longer.
- 'Nobles are individualistic... They don't despise humans but don't love them either.' Humans w/ ants. Now if the ants were capable of speaking with us it'd be exactly the same situation.
Chapter 109 - "What were they researching here?" Since when does the Union research anything aside from human modifications Kranz? Why do you even need to ask? More seriously this means that the Union doesn't actually only do human experimentation and weapons lmao. The other shit just isn't relevant I guess. It's a shame, I'd have loved to see how a lab focused on like, fixing up polluted waters, would be fit into the story.
- The fact that Tao beat Jake up is never mentioned enough. Also confirms that Jake was lying out of his ass about being the strongest.
- Marie being the weakest assassination squad member is interesting like I know why Crombel doesn't need bodyguards as the reader but you'd think the Union would be suspicious of him not having a stronger bodyguard. Also I still can't believe the Union doesn't bother learning who the members are aside from the ones Crombel tells them about like. Bro???
- Shark calling Takeo uptight is hilarious because the guy literally just shot the falling ceiling light which is the opposite of uptight. Either he was preventing them from getting hurt/being caught or he wanted that to happen considering the fact that he shot it and it shattered. And then he just goes back to leaning against the wall. Takeo please 🤣
Chapter 110 - And Shinwoo's still staying over at Ikhans place. Wonder when he's gonna move back. I really love their dynamic like yeah I beg my sister to get me food all the time too. Also love the apron and skeleton hoodie.
- Shinwoo went through the five stages of grief pretty quick huh? Like yeah it's his own misunderstanding that Ikhan is dating someone but still. Homophobia is annoying as always though.
Chapter 111 - Suyi paying for their food is so sweet of her and also I relate so much like yeah mood that's me and no I don't want to be paid back.
- Takeo,,, the fact that he just hands his wallet over because he doesn't like violence and doesn't want to beat them up,,, my heart. Otoh... how did he even get cornered in an dark shady alleyway lmao.
- Aris managing to make herself look like a teenager as Taivra is interesting since Takeo says he wants her to be able to go to school like Yuna and Shinwoo when he's treating them. I guess she looks younger without makeup.
- Takeo just straight up pointing his gun at Shark in public because he mentioned Taivra... anger issues much? I understand why but taking your gun out is an overreaction.
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can we have some unpopular Sonic opinions?
I tried to cram in a lot, so I hope this satisfies you. :P I tried to stick to the ones that I haven't brought up quite as often, since by this point, we all know that I think IDW's storytelling is dire, SA2's story is overrated, X Eggman is an embarrassing portrayal (at least from season 2 onwards), Blaze shouldn't be handcuffed to Silver, Shadow's backstory had issues with or without the Black Arms, Neo Metal Sonic looks silly, etc. But anyway, here we go:
- Knuckles may be tricky to incorporate into plots that don't relate to Angel Island, but making him obsessed with his duties is no better than having him forget about Angel Island entirely.
- I like Marine, and never found her annoying. Oh, I understood what they were trying to do with her, but I honestly wasn't put off by her, and found her Aussie lingo more endearing if anything. Since her debut was during the period in my life where where I couldn't stand Sonic himself, I instead thought he was irritating (and hypocritical) for getting annoyed with her for doing shit he would often be guilty of.
- Silver is just as guilty of being shoehorned into games and plots as the Deadly Six are. Having more fans than the latter is irrelevant, since we're still talking about a character who constantly has to time travel in order to be present.
- Speaking of Silver, if he has to stick around, please do something different with him. They've pulled the doomed future routine multiple times now, and it's been boring every single time. I wasn't interested when it involved Iblis. I wasn't interested when it involved Knuckles drinking the edgy Kool Aid. I wasn't interested when it involved a council of dumbasses... give it a rest already.
- The Tails Doll can work as a mildly creepy thing, with maybe more to it than meets the eye when it's time for a boss fight or what have you. But the memes about him stealing your soul are just dumb, and I thought it was dumb even back in my teenage youth.
- “Eggman is supposed to be clownish!” Yeah, well he's also meant to be a genuine villain with a 300 IQ. These qualities don't have to be mutually exclusive.
- “Sonic is supposed to have attitude!” Yeah, well that's not the same thing as being an absolute cunt. Sonic was only ever meant to come off as having an edge compared to Mario. He was never meant to be a GTA-tier protagonist.
- Rouge is not a villain, and never was a villain. Literally the whole point of her role in SA2 was to reveal that she was working against Eggman and Shadow the whole time, albeit using sneakier tactics to do so. You'd think all those people who exult SA2's story would remember this, but apparently not. She barely even qualifies as an anti-hero, since aside from stealing the Master Emerald, she rarely does anything morally questionable otherwise. She's got a lot more good in her than people give her credit for.
- Captain Whisker is a better Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And as far as robot characters in this franchise go, Johnny's design is pretty underrated.
- I don't like Iblis or Mephiles, but I DO like Solaris, and it annoys me that it was out of focus for most of the story due to all the time spent on its less interesting halves. Had they kept the backstory with the Duke and his experiments, and worked from there, I think they could have provided an interesting contrast with Chaos (since Solaris can also qualify as a monster with a sympathetic backstory) instead of recycling the surface level schtick.
- Black Doom may technically be just as bad as Mephiles, Nega, Scourge, Mimic, etc, since he's yet another villain with one-note characterization and fucked over Eggman. But because he never gained a disproportionate fandom, he doesn't annoy me to the same extent. It's easier to ignore him by comparison, and his Dr. Claw voice and face shaped like a lady's delicate part make him enjoyable to mock.
- Likewise, while Lyric is also on the same level as these other villains, it's easier to dismiss him because I was never invested in the Boom games anyway, and being an obvious alternate universe (compared to Sonic X or IDW, which retain the Modern designs and plot elements), it never had an effect on the main series. I also unironically like his design, and if nothing else, at least this snake didn't start a hypnotism fetish across the internet.
- Sally - and the rest of the Freedom Fighters for that matter - have had their importance in the franchise severely inflated. They may have been lucky to be the face of popular media (SatAM and Archie), but they're not these magnificent entities that the game characters are but a speck of dust in comparison to. Having a “legacy” doesn't make them more entitled to shit than any other character, old or new.
- Conceptually, the treasure hunting gameplay is one of the better alternate gameplay styles IMO. But it was let down in SA2 by its one track minded radar (the levels may have been big, but I don't think that would have been an issue on its own if the radar was better). If they brought it back and made it more like SA1's treasure hunting, I'd be all for it, although it would probably be better suited for a spinoff title.
- This goes for a lot of games, but when it comes to 2D, I prefer sprites over models. Not that the Rush models are bad (though the ones in Chronicles sure as fuck are), but the sprites in Mania and the Advance trilogy are just so charming and full of character.
- I actually like Marble Zone. Yeah, the level design is a bit blocky, but I love the concept of an underground temple prison, mixed with lava elements in a zone that otherwise isn't a traditional volcano level.
- I also like Sandopolis Zone. Again, completely understand why it's not the most popular zone around, but I've been a sucker for the Ancient Egyptian aesthetic since childhood (you can thank Crash 3 for that), and Act 1 is visually stunning.
- I prefer the JP soundtrack for Sonic CD over the US version overall... but I also prefer Sonic Boom over You Can Do Anything.
- SA2's soundtrack isn't bad by any means - I love Rouge's tracks, and The Last Scene is one of my favourite pieces of music - but as far as variety goes, it's a step down from SA1's soundtrack.
- If Sonic X-Treme had been released, it probably would have been unenjoyable and confusing. Whatever your thoughts on SA1, it was probably the better option between the two as far as Sonic's first legitimate translation into 3D goes.
- I have no qualms with Modern Sonic and the other Modern designs and characters, but I also fully acknowledge that changing gears from Adventure onwards - and doing it with a great amount of fanfare - was always going to create one of the biggest divides in the fandom, and fans shouldn't act surprised that this happened. The fact that they felt the need to hype up a new design and direction in the first place (compared to Mario, who has mostly been the same since the beginning, with only the occasional minor change with little fanfare) also indicates that they weren't confident enough in Sonic and his universe being the way it was, which often gets ignored by all the “SEGA have no confidence!!!” complaints you see with their recent games.
- Unleashed did not deserve the incredibly harsh reviews it received back in the day... but it doesn't deserve its current sacred cow status either. It had more effort put into it than '06 to be sure, and I can respect that, but much of it was misguided effort, and even if you like the Werehog, you have to admit that the idea came at the absolute worst time. The intro cutscene may be awesome, as is the Egg Dragoon fight, but 2% doesn't make up the entire game. Chip was also quite annoying, and I wasn't particularly sad when he pressed F in the chat at the end.
- On the other hand, while Colours definitely has its shortcomings, and people have every right to criticse those shortcomings, a lot of its most vocal detractors tend to have a stick up their arse about the game because people actually enjoyed it, and it had a gimmick that people actually liked. Yes, it may have been the first game to have those writers everyone hates, but then SA1 was the first game to give the characters alternate gameplay styles and have other villains upstage Eggman, so...
- Forces is absolutely not on the level of '06. It's nowhere close. A game being flawed does not make it the next '06, clickbait YouTubers. Or should I say, the game they want to retroactively apply '06's reception to, since they've been trying hard to magically retcon '06's own quality...
- To echo @beevean, ALL of the 3D stories have their issues. SA1 is probably the most well-rounded of them on the whole, but even that one isn't perfect.
- To echo another opinion, although I do love SA1, I'm not crazy over the idea of a remake, and would prefer them to just take Sonic's gameplay from SA1 and work from there. Because with a remake, you're stuck in a hard spot: Do you keep it the way it is bar the expected graphical upgrades, and risk accusations of not doing anything to actually improve the experience? Or do you try to address past criticisms, and risk the wrath of the fans who will inevitably go on a #NotMyAdventure crusade about it? What people fail to consider is that the Crash and Spyro remakes were accepted gracefully because their original iterations were still unanimously beloved for the most part, whereas SA1 - and especially SA2 - have always been divisive, and have only gotten moreso over the years.
- People take their preferences for the character's voice actors too seriously. I have my own favourites like anyone else, but I don't make a big deal out of it.
- And with fandom voice actors, they usually focus too much on doing a basic impression of their preferred official voice actor, and not enough on the acting. So you end up getting a lot of fan voices who sound like decent impressions of Ryan Drummond or Jason Griffith on the surface, but they sound utterly empty beyond that impression, because there's no oomph or depth to the actual emotions. They think about the actor rather than the character, when it should really be the other way around.
- The thing with Ian Flynn is that he is capable of telling a decent story, and he can portray some characters well. But he's proven time and time again that everything will go off the rails if he's given too much freedom (ironic, given how quick he is to point the finger at mandates when something goes wrong).
- Ian Flynn and Shiro Maekawa are not the only people in the world who are allowed to write for Sonic. I understand that one should be cautious when seeking out new writing talent, but for all the fandom's accusations of playing it safe, they sure aren't in a rush to experiment outside of their own comfort zone.
- And of course, the big one: You don't fix the franchise's current problems by crawling back to its previous problems. It's much more helpful and constructive to discuss the good and bad alike with each of the games. Less “THIS GOOD, MODERN BAD”, and more “This could work, but maybe without that part...”
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Before I start Harrow, I want to share my thoughts on Gideon.
Spoilers ahead.
While I don’t believe it was the greatest book ever written, it was perfectly fitting for me.
The genre: It was a mix between sci-fi and fantasy, very simple in its worldbuilding, it didn’t shy from some exposition (I hate new fantasy books that don’t use exposition at all... you’re not that good at the spreading the information thingy, I don’t understand your overly complicated worldbuilding!) and used it in pretty much conventional ways. It didn’t invent every single tiny little thing (which I find very annoying in modern fantasy and sci-fi books - let your MC say fuck), but mixed things familiar with our world with future/innovative elements, almost seamlessly. Thank you, Tamsyn, for using insults we know (I understand why TV shows do it, it’s to keep a PG-13 rating and still use swear words, but I find it insufferable when books try to invent terms for everything... even pens or bread).
I’ve seen people say it is heavily sci-fi and I disagree. It is not hard sci-fi in the slightest and the magical/necromantic elements are a lot more technical than any of the technology, which was basically non-existent (at times I was stunned whenever they mentioned anything that was “modern” or techy, since it felt like fantasy 80% of the time). The author built a magic system and tried to fit it into a sci-fi setting. It very much resembled Warhammer 40k at times (come on, the Undying Emperor?) and had they mentioned Chaos Gods every now and then, I would have believed this was a WH 40K novelette a-la Blackstone Fortress.
The plot: Gay necromancers in space, with a plot similar to And Then There Were None which at times felt a little bit like Catching Fire as well (Tamsyn, did you read my diary?). It was very simple, straightforward and the fact that we only had one narrating voice made it very easy to read and to follow along. The fact that it was a bit cinematic is probably the reason I managed to finish it (I am tired of 100 subplots and 200 characters in the same book). All of the plot twists felt earned, because looking back I can see where the author left those crumbs. I feel like the red herrings were a bit weak (except Ianthe at the end, which was a bit disappointing as the main villain so I was glad to see she was one), because I started to suspect Dulcinea right away (even though I never would have guessed why). Also, I was too focused on the characters to actually pay attention to the plot, so I didn’t guess much going forward, which made me feel pretty stupid, because some of that shit was very obvious.
The characters: What I really loved was Gideon’s voice. The first few chapters were a bit flowery and there was a lot of purple prose to set the tone (which failed a bit, because I still imagined it more as a fantasy setting than a sci-fi one), but then it flawed perfectly. The jokes (narrated or spoke aloud) were great and it felt like they always fit. Sometimes the insults were a bit gratuitous but I like the trope of being infuriated with someone all of the time, you can’t help but think “oh fuck this bitch”. Also, the puns. Gideon, I love you. I would’ve liked them to be more mature (maybe 20 somethings), but it’s because I’m old and I want this type of narratives to have older MCs sometimes.
Harrow really picked up in the second part of the book and I can’t wait to see how she’s changed in the second one. Loved Dulcinea from the start and I don’t care she was an evil god-like entity. She was a bit over the top in the battle (that thing about the arms and legs, why?!?), but I do love a dramatic bitch (I still lowkey like her & Gideon together). I was sorry for the Fourth & Fifth houses, but while I loved Magnus, I couldn’t stand the teenagers (but I did feel so, so sorry for Gideon). The Third house was obnoxious and I enjoyed Corona the most. I’m pretty sure Ianthe’s coming back, so we’ll see about that. Not gonna talk about the Eight - gave me WH 40K Inquisitor vibes, felt unneccessarily over the top. The Second was forgettable, I didn’t even understand the captain was a necromancer until she killed Teacher. And Sixth, oh, my darlings. If Camilla is dead I’m going to burn my kindle. Writing wise, concentrating on only one POV, kind of underdevelops secondary characters, so while Gideon’s voice was very strong, I feel like everyone else was a bit forgettable unless Gideon spent time on them. It was a book that could’ve easily been written in first person, if it didn’t have that ending.
The relationship: I am going to be brief - I love rivalry that turns to love (any kind of love). So, I loved every single interaction between Harrow and Gideon (the pool scene broke me). Palamedes and Harrow had chemistry. I loved that Gideon just adopted everyone: I am your cavalier, now I am yours! Oh, screw it! I’m going to protect everyone! Gideon is such a himbo, even though she’s a shembo, but not a bimbo? I hated every single time the Third called their cavalier “Babs”.
Things that were left open and Tamsyn better solve before the end of the series: “Gideon, you’re a ginger!” and basically everything fake!Dulcinea told Gideon about her past (”You don’t know what you are to me”). Also, why Gideon didn’t die when she was a child (and the obvious, where is she from?). Where are Corona and Camilla? What happened to Gideon’s body? And a few things I forgot about, because I wrote this “review” yesterday in my head and I didn’t write stuff down.
Overall it was a very pleasant experience. And I may re-read it in the future to catch the foreshadowing and some hints. Now, onto Harrow the Ninth! Which is confusing? ‘Cause the Emperor called her Harrow the First?
Anyways. We love a tiny goth stirring shit with her “dead” girlfriend’s two-hander. I am a bit scared, though, since what I really loved was Gideon’s narrating voice, but I’m guessing Harrow picked up some of her mannerism since she “ate” her? We’ll see.
#gideon the ninth#gideon the ninth spoilers#spoilers#angie rants#ignore#the locked tomb#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#griddlehark
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii, I would like you to post you favourite fic recs, the ones you love the most and think everyone should read? :3
Hi! There’s a lot to choose from, and this is obviously a really hard question! But here are the ones we decided are truly some of our favourites, and we reread all the time!
Sorted by length:
Friends Don’t by shadow_prince (T, 2.2k, 1 chapter)
Remus huffed. “I mean, even at school. You never went on dates. And I thought maybe it was just because you were always with us and whatever, but. You never date.”
“What’s your point, Remus?”
“Why don’t you?”
He looked back down at the newspaper, unable to look him in the eye for the lie he knew would come next. “I just don’t like anyone.”
“Oh.”
Was that disappointment in his voice? No, it couldn’t be disappointment. Because that would mean Moony cared, and Moony didn’t care. Moony couldn’t care, because Moony was straight. If he wasn’t, he would have said something, and he hadn’t, so he had to be straight.
That didn’t stop him from glancing over the top of the paper to where he stood at the edge of the hallway. He was frozen in the way you froze just before you kicked off the ground on your broom. Right before a runner pushed off the block. Right before you dove off a cliff into the sea. Frozen with the promise of movement about to burst forth.
Sirius watched him, holding his breath.
“You’re lying.”
If You’d Let Me (But You Don’t) by @kerstintxt (T, 4.8k, 1 chapter)
"Today on the wire we have Sirius Black, the irresistible lead singer of The Marauders, a band we've been playing an awful lot lately, now that I think about it. They must be having a terrific time; just last year, the four boys from London were playing in tiny clubs and now they've just announced their first arena tour for next year. At the moment, they're touring in the UK, USA and Canada. Sirius, tell me, where are you right now?"
"Uh, give me a second. Remus", Sirius says as he leans a little too far over the edge of his bunk bed (a sharp turn of the bus would be really bad timing) so that he can look at Moony, who's reading on the bed under his. "Remus", Sirius says with the phone still pressed to his ear, "the nice lady on the radio wants to know where we are."
OR, the one where The Marauders are a rock band and Sirius should reeaalllly get his feelings for Remus under control if he doesn't want to ruin everything.
The London Underground Book Of Love by Children_of_the_Shadows (T, 5.2k, 1 chapter)
The cardinal rule of the London Underground is to never, ever make eye contact. It is a rule that, among many others, Sirius tends to follow despite his otherwise rebellious, non-rule-following nature. So the first time he makes eye contact with a human being in the subway comes as much of a shock to him as anyone else. Especially when he's unable to look away.
Love (Messy, Tragic, Devastating) by kmc123 (T, 12.7k, 1 chapter)
it is easier to say "fuck me harder" than to say "love me and only me" - k.y robinson
rumor has it by @punkaspadfoot (T, 15.1k, 1 chapter)
No student had ever figured out why Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin seemed to hate each other so much, and at this point in the year the seniors were done trying. All they had time to focus on now was finals and graduation, although the annual class trip provided a welcome distraction. Three days on a lake with their four favorite teachers and plenty of time to gossip had to be a good time, right?
Save Me, Save Me, Save Me by @mollymarymarie (N/A (no smut), 15.2k, 1 chapter)
Remus overhears a conversation between James and Sirius about Sirius being in love and discovers rather abruptly that he doesn't like the idea of Sirius being in love with anyone who isn't him. THEN WHY IS HE HELPING SIRIUS COOK THIS WOMAN DINNER??
Probably so that, while chopping vegetables in the kitchen, he and Sirius can perform an emotional duet, serenading each other to Phil Collin's "A Groovy Kind of Love." AND THEN GET ALL WEIRD ABOUT IT AFTERWARD.
Because they're idiots.
Let Nothing You Dismay by montparnasse (M, 18.9k, 1 chapter)
There are a few things Sirius really didn't count on for Christmas of 1979. The extreme sexual confusion is one of them; Remus Lupin is approximately seventy-eight of the rest.
Now I Wanna Be Your Dog by @remus-john-lupin (E, 20.1k, 7 chapters)
Sirius clunks about in his Doc Martens and listens to The Stooges and smokes cigarettes and wears his hair much too long and spends more time serving detention than not.
And is way too forward about his sudden feelings for Remus.
(A story about teenagers and summer love in the 70s.)
Vows Under the Covers by @mollymarymarie (Not Rated but has smut, 21.5k, 1 chapter)
Remus is getting married. And not to Sirius.
"All the promises - vows under the covers.
We would play pretend, my love,
But it was real. To me."
Likewise Variable by @oneangryshot (T, 28.9k, 17 chapters)
James has plans, Peter is the nurse, Sirius keeps fake blood up his sleeves, and Remus just tries to stay alive.
Solntse by @lumosinlove (N/A but has smut, 62k, 14 chapters)
Sirius, a young Russian billionaire hires Remus, who is working part time as a call boy to make ends meet. Things happen, feelings occur.
The Lad that Loved You by @mollymarymarie (N/A but has smut, 81.7k, 3 chapters)
James and Peter are out of sorts because Remus and Sirius are fighting. Except that they're not. They're REALLY not.
Here Comes Another One by PleaseDonateBlood (T, 82.7k, 17 chapters, WIP)
Do you ask every stranger you accidentally spontaneously befriend this many personal questions?
FRIEND it may have been spontaneous (destiny) but there was nothing accidental about this love
Also I guess that means this would be a bad time to ask for your name?
Your guess would be correct
What’s your name?
Wow.
---
Sirius texts the wrong number. And so it begins. We did need another Wolfstar texting fic. We definitely did.
Currents by @quoththethestral (E, 109k, 17 chapters)
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black arrive in Sydney to compete in the Summer Olympics, both intent on making these games a better experience than the last. The two swimmers have a tumultuous history and intense rivalry, but can America’s golden boy and Great Britain’s notorious bad boy put their past behind them and find some common ground?
Palo Alto by @nachodiablo (M, 110.4k, 18 chapters)
Modern AU set in Silicon Valley.
It's easy for Sirius to ignore his mixed-up feelings while he's got Remus all to himself, but when Remus starts dating again, Sirius is forced to figure things out before Remus moves on for good. Or before James and Peter strangle them both.
Show Me Everything I Missed by @mollymarymarie (N/A but has smut & trigger warnings, 152.9k, 12 chapters)
In the middle of the aftermath left by life-shattering trauma, Sirius finds Remus, someone who understands better than anyone else ever could. And together, they take turns putting each other back together again when the nightmares of their pasts try to tear them apart.
Casting Moonshadows by Moonsign (M, 395.7k, 87 chapters, WIP)
Lonely and outcast by his classmates, Remus wishes on a moonshadow for a friend who understands him. To his amazement his wish is answered not once, but three times, by his former enemies, the Marauders.
Inquiries? Ask the Archivists!
#file under:#dan#kay#favorites#rec list#wolfstar fanfic#wolfstar fic#fic rec#wolfstar#remus lupin#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#remus/sirius#sirius black#hp fic rec#hp fic#hp fic recs#hp#harry potter
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
star crossed
-chapter four-
*disclaimer: this work is entirely fiction, all scenes with real life people presented in this work are entirely fictitious.*
word count : 2.4k
warnings : angst! (af!) swearing ? charlie watts being unbothered as ever, did i mention angst?
<<previous chapter
next chapter>>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a couple drinks in, the conversation of recording a track started up. Jimmy was actually quite excited, a Rolling Stones and Jimmy Page track was bound to happen sometime. Sure, Jimmy had played with them in his session days, but not anything to the extent of actually being featured and credited for the track. They decided to come back tomorrow to Bill’s home studio to record a track that might feature on the upcoming Goats Head Soup album. Two nights previous, he finished up the English leg of the 72/73 tour. In a couple weeks, Led Zeppelin would be embarking on their biggest tour yet - the 73 North American tour. There was plans to record a concert film and album, and Jimmy was really hopeful everything would work out.
“Lads I’m about to fucking pass out here, I’m out, see you all tomorrow yeah?”
“All right Jim, see y’a tomorrow, not to early mate right?”
After agreeing to come in the early afternoon with Bill , he bid goodnight to the rest of crew there, Charlie and the pianist for the album, Nicky. Sure, they weren’t as wild as the Toxic Twins, but they were still good company - better than getting drunk in his hotel room alone.
Walking back to his hotel room, the walk felt much longer than 10 minutes. Even though it was the beginning of February, and therefore the start of spring, he had to wrap his arms around himself to preserve body heat.
Reaching the hotel lobby, he was met with the warm air of the large room. Red carpets and gold accents adorned the room. It was quite late in the night - or early in the morning, so he decided to skip going to the bar in hopes of picking up a partner and instead, head straight to his room. On his way into the elevator, he passed two women, both wearing sunglasses. He thought that peculiar, and even more peculiar, he thought he recognised the woman with short brunette hair. After attempting to place the woman, he concluded he was in no state of mind to try.
Laying down on his bed, his thoughts wondered to Alice. He hadn’t heard anything about her since they were last together. He wasn’t even sure if she was still in the music business. He wondered would he ever see her again. He hoped he would, but a feeling in his gut told him it would happen eventually. Sooner, or later, he thought.
Waking up slightly hungover, he showered and prepared for the day of recording ahead. It wasn’t to be a serious session, more of a jam of sorts and hopefully produce a track in the process.
Strolling casually into Bill’s recording studio, he noticed that, as per usual, everybody was there expect Mick. On second look he noticed that Mick Taylor was not there either.
“Where are the Mick’s?”
“I think Jagger is just late, but oh, theres Taylor there now!”
Just as Keith finished speaking, Mick Taylor walked in, guitar case in hand. This would be the first time Jimmy and Mick played together, and he hoped they would get on well.
“Jimmy, great to see you again, ready to play?”
“Nice to see you too, lets get down to it shall we boys?”
Mick Jagger had finally arrived, so he and Keith were working on lyrics, while Charlie and Bill were working on rhythms and riffs, leaving Jimmy and Mick Taylor to work out the main guitar melody. They worked really well together, as they both had the same blues origins and both loved incorporating it into new material.
“So who's the sound tech here anyway” Jimmy asked, while in the process of tuning his guitar down.
“Allie, she's been with us for the album, she's great, have you met her before?”
“Hmm, the name doesn't sound familiar I don't think”
“Well she had an appointment, so she’ll probably be here within the next hour” Mick commented, a shy smile coming onto his face when mentioning her.
After around half an hour of messing around, the boys were finally ready to start the recording tapes. All that stopped then was the missing sound tech.
“Good afternoon boys, I, being your guardian angel have brought lunch for all of us” Alice said cheerily, bursting through the door with a bright smile.
Jimmy’s head shot up at the sound of her voice, suddenly connecting all the dots. The feeling in his gut about meeting her, the woman in the hotel, and the ‘Allie’ nickname.
“Oh thank you Alice, forgot to mention we invited a special guest to join our entourage, last night at Bill’s after you and Taylor left” spoke Mick Jagger with his usual eloquence.
“Alice!”
“Jimmy” Alice replied curtly, a hint of sourness in her blank expression. Jimmy was now in front of Alice, greeting her.
“It’s a pleasure to see you again, its been what, nearly four years! I didn’t even know if you were still an audio tech” Jimmy said warmly, excited to see her again
“I would say it’s a pleasure to see you too, but its not, so I wont” Alice casually said, blanking him, and moving further into the room. She set the bags of fresh food on the table, in the back of the recording section of the large hall. Jimmy watched her walk away casually, totally taken off guard by her coldness. The rest of the Stones all caught this too, extremely confused, but a little entertained by their encounter.
“Wait, you guys know each other?” Keith asked, a small smirk on his lips, pointing between the two.
“I would say used to know, I was on of the engineers on Zeppelin II in 69”
“Hold on, I didn’t know you worked Zeppelin II? That means you must have been a teenager when you worked on it. Blimey” Mick, asked, all of this coming news to him, as well to the others.
“I suppose you wouldn’t, after all I wasn’t even credited, nor my boss Tom” Alice said coolly, still not turning away from setting up the various soups and sandwiches.
Obviously, the teenage Alice that Jimmy once knew was long gone.
“God, Allie you look so old, what are you now? Twenty four, twenty five” Jimmy asked, sampling the new nickname, trying to break the stifling awkwardness that now infected the room.
“Still getting my age wrong I see, Jimmy. Im surprised you still know my name, after all the stunts you pulled over the last four years” Alice replied, walking directly towards Jimmy, accompanied with razor sharp glare. She now stood directly on front of him, slightly invading his personal space. She has grown taller and her face matured, loosing the slight roundness to her cheeks she once possessed. She apparently had cut off her long wavy crimson locks, in favour of a modern, dark brown bob.
“Uh, what’re you talking about?” Jimmy asked chuckling nervously as he scratched his head, hoping she wouldn’t notice his feigned innocence.
“Oh I’m sure you know, as does everyone else in this room. I don't really have the energy to continue this irrelevant conversation, or frankly, any conversation in general with you at this point. Also, it’s Alice to you” Alice stated sternly with a finger pointed to his chest. Jimmy could practically see the ice swirling in her cool blue eyes, the eyes he had come to miss over the years. He had never had encountered her true, red headed temperament. Now that he was on the receiving end, he desperately wanted to stay away from it.
“I’m not really hungry anyway, so I’ll be in the mod room if you guys need me” Alice said, directing her words to everyone but Jimmy, before leaving and entering the conjoining mod room. Mick Taylor quickly set his down his burnt orange Les Paul, then followed Alice out of the room.
“Woah, I haven’t seen drama like this since the last time Mick and Bowie had an arguement - which was last week, I think hmm” Keith remarked with a sarcastic finger on his chin, before moving to serve himself some soup.
“Actually Keef, I think this charade is a lot more entertaining than David’s and I’s little tiffs, as this is bit more of a lovers quarrel”
“Better not let Taylor hear that, or he’ll have to have a word with you Pagey” Bill commented, wide grin now on his face.
Jimmy was now the confused one. He turned to Charlie, silently asking him about Alice and Mick with the point of his finger. Charlie simply shrugged his shrugged his shoulders in response before going back to drumming a riff with the hi-hats and snare drums.
After everybody had ate or, cooled off, recording was finally underway. After a couple of takes, Alice interrupted to give some pointers.
“Look boys, I’m gonna be candid with you all. It sounds shit” Alice said into the mic. Ever since she had gotten more experience under belt, she became renowned for her no bullshit opinions. In turn, people valued her honestly and knew what she said was, more often than not, right.
“Yeah, boys let’s not sugarcoat it, we’re not exactly gelling as one” Keith commented, starting to become fed up with having to balance not only Mick Jaggers usual dramatics, but another egotistical lead guitarist in the mix.
“Okay, what do you think love?” Mick Taylor asked softly, trying to keep the peace before something erupted. He wasn’t wrong, the Stones, along with a quarter of Led Zeppelin, and a hot headed tech was a bit of a lethal cocktail. Fights often combusted quickly between the Stones and Alice, as all members were just as stubborn as each other.
“Well it sounds like there’s 5 Stones, and 25% Led Zeppelin playing. What I want, and what fans want to hear is The Stones featuring Jimmy Page. You five need to change your usual routine of recording for once and mix it up. And you” she looked to Jimmy “need to stop pretending you’re with the other boys. You both need to work with each others strengths and quit overcompensating. Stop pretending you’re something you’re not”
Everybody in the entire house probably could pick up that the last sentence was a direct jab to Jimmy. Another awkward silence passed, ultimately stemming from a staring contest between Alice and the famed guitarist.
“Oh my fucking god, kill me now” Mick muttered, pinching his nose, while Charlie just rolled his eyes and started drumming the start of the song. Eventually Keith started the riff with Mick Taylor,along with Bill and Charlie carrying the bass and percussion, and Mick Jagger singing the lyrics. Only when they reached the solo part, did Jimmy break eye contact with Alice and begin playing.
Finishing up recording, the boys all started to leave. Mick and Jimmy were the last to pack up their stuff, and an uncomfortable air fell over them. Obviously they both either had history, or were making history with Alice. Eventually Mick realised he should probably let the pair talk it out, so, as Jimmy toward the mod room door, Mick moved toward the hallway door.
“Alice, can we talk? Obviously things have become a bit strained between us, and I don’t want it to stay like this” Jimmy started softly. It was probably his choice of words that set Alice off, as immediately after his finished she whipped around from the sound board and kicked off.
“ 'Strained' Jimmy, are you serious?! Strained?! First of all, you didn’t even tell me you weren’t mixing the album with us, and then you just left after our night together. Then- don’t try to interrupt me James. Then, you barely even credit Tom for his songwriting tips on the album. You didn’t even mention me once, even whenever anyone brings up that Theremin part in ‘Whole Lotta Love’! You blush and go on to explain how it was your own fantastic brain that thought of it. The you had the audacity to diss Mystic studios in the papers! What was it you said again? Oh yeah, 'Mystic Studios was far from mystical and closer to meagre, and as a result, the workers were too.” Alice snarled, stream practically blowing out her ears.
“Okay, I agree that comment about Mystics’s capabilities was definitely wrong, I was extremely out of it in that interview- hell I even jibed Atlantic Records!” Jimmy was now getting frustrated too. Normally, no one put him in his place, or gave out to him.
“And then how cold you were about Tom!”
“Wait what happened with Tom?” Jimmy inquired, now serious.
“Oh my fucking god Jimmy” Alice shouted at him “you don’t even remember to you?” She said with a laugh. She searched his face, but all she saw was confusion in his light grey eyes.
“Tom had a fucking stroke last year. Peter told you, and don’t you dare deny it, as he told me he informed you all when I spoke to him on the phone. For Christ’s sake even Bonzo rang to see how he was doing! He didn’t even have my number, but he found it anyway! Robert and John joined the call after he finished speaking. When I asked for you, they said you were in a closet fucking a groupie!”
“Look Alice, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to sa-”
“I’m not surprised Jimmy, it’s a marvel you can play guitar at all, with having no fucking sense in your thick head”
“Stop being so fucking rude to me, you’re not perfect either! Don’t act so high and mighty! I know what went on in Geffen records! I’m mates with David Geffen” Jimmy was no shouting too. At the mention of David Geffen, Alice’s face immediately switched from red to a pale white.
“You do not know what happened between myself and David, if you did, you wouldn’t speak to him ever again” Alice spoke low and slowly, her face now white as a sheet.
Unbeknownst to the pair, all of the Stones were listening outside. When they heard Jimmy shouting about Geffen, Mick Taylor had enough and burst in. The rest of the boys tried to stop him, but he broke free.
“Jimmy, stop it. You don’t know anything about the Geffen incident. You don’t know Alice anymore. I suggest you leave her alone before I step in more. Al, let’s go, our driver is outside.” Mick stretched his hand out to Alice, her eyes now watery, trying to bite down her quivering lip.
Alice immediately joined Mick, and left without a second look to Jimmy.
Jimmy, now alone in the mod room, felt his gut twist with guilt. Had something bad happened with David Geffen and Alice? His mind wondered to Mick’s choice of words -‘incident’. He had heard rumours that were more damaging on David’s behalf, but being friendly with him, he thought he knew him better than all the tabloids and industry gossip.
Jimmy realised that both he and Alice had changed drastically in the last four years, how could he have expected everything to go back to how it was in the summer of ‘69? Now, they were even more distant than ever before.
Maybe they had missed their chance at eternity. Maybe the stars had uncrossed.
His heart nearly broke at the revelation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ok so chapter four !!!
I wanna write angst more often it’s my guilty pleasure
anyway, I think this is my favourite piece I’ve written 😌
navigation
star crossed masterlist
tag list : @rebel-without-a-zeppelin @princesspagey @dreamersdrowse
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Album Discussion: The Suburbs
Last week I felt like I didn’t have much time to pump an album review out. Was going to be in the lab all day, had work in the night, wanted to cover something quick. Then I finished really early, and had plenty of time in the afternoon to finish things off. This week I am in the same situation as far as scheduling, but someone’s bloody using equipment I need, so I’ve got a bit of extra time now. Time to talk about a >1hr 16 track record!
Also last week, I covered an album that I felt was more interesting from a meta level than it is musically. This week I’m talking about an album that I know nothing of the meta for.
The Suburbs I was reminded of recently. Mostly because I ran into the person who bought me the CD for the first time in like a year. I understand Arcade Fire have A Reputation as far as bands go, but the thing is: I have no idea what it is. I haven’t followed them at all, I don’t know whether they’re considered good or not, I haven’t even seen any of the music videos. I have never deliberately listened to an Arcade Fire song outside of this album.
But I do like this album. So.
Okay the one thing I do know is what the album is about. It’s about growing up in the suburbs of…I think Texas somewhere. I could look this up, but I refuse. The result of this is that the whole thing is intensely nostalgic, full of reminiscence and wistfulness, childhood innocence and what growing up is like. It’s one of those, you know? That does, however, make it fairly easy to like, because I think a lot of people are nostalgic for their childhoods.
youtube
(yeah so the only music videos for this one are at the very start and very end. this is going to be a bit of a wall of words.)
This is characterised by the opening track, which is also the album’s title track: The Suburbs. It’s opening with a very folksy acoustic guitar and piano, and longing for that childhood is its modus operandi. It is, however, tinged by the anxieties of that era- growing up in the shadow of the cold war is going to leave an impact on anyone, and that cultural climate is also going to be running through the album. I think the most poignant section of the song lyrically is the start of the third verse- wishing to become a parent, so they can live vicariously through their child, show them their childhood world before the reality and the memory are completely lost. Okay that’s kinda heavy moving on- the track is pretty much built around that piano/acoustic bit, sounding relatively upbeat but coloured by these lonesome strings running through the background. It’s very effective of conveying the feeling- which is something that comes up quite a bit over the course of the album. The Suburbs is one of my favourite tracks on this album, and having it come right at the front makes it a very solid stage-setter.
Track two is Ready to Start, a faster, rockier track with this grimy bassline running through the verses contrasting the relatively bright instrumentation of the chorus. Considering the themes of the song, about working for the man, dude, and trying to escape that sort of life, it’s fairly fitting, though it’s a very different sort of nostalgia than the previous track. The instrumentation gives the whole thing this sense urgency, which is enhanced by some of the lyrics- I mean the track is called Ready to Start, isn’t it. I feel like this song would be great to try and hype yourself up for something you don’t really want to do, and I’m not sure how many songs we have specifically for that feeling.
Our next song is called Modern Man, and it feels like tumbling through a confusing life. God, I’m really getting pensive today. I feel like this is a lot because this album resonates a lot more emotionally for me than musically. I’m someone with a very weird sense of nostalgia, seeing as my childhood is pretty effectively defined into three segments, and I tend to fixate on one of them because it’s The Weird One. I’m nostalgic for high school which is when I was nostalgic for living abroad which is when I was nostalgic for when I still lived in Perth, which I do now, but I don’t know anyone from back then, so there’s a whole sense of longing, and it’s something I’ve always had, and that’s funky. And I’m still young, this isn’t going to change, it’s going to get worse, and eghhhh I’m supposed to be talking about music. I don’t really have much to say about Modern Man, I guess. It’s aight, the previous two were better, but here I am 800 words into an album discussion, and I’ve gone through all of 3 songs on a 16 track album, so maybe expect this to be a slog.
Rococo at least makes an impact real quick, with fuckin psychotic strings right at the start that’s kind of a shock to the system, especially compared to the relatively mild instrumentation the rest of the song provides. I think that’s a fairly appropriate tone for a song about looking at #thecoolkids, bemusement tinged with utter stark bewilderment. I think I’m too young to really get this, I guess. The song’s title regards an art movement that sounds extremely pretentious and fake deep, frankly, but considering the point of the song is that you don’t bloody know what Rococo means, that’s probably also fitting. I kinda wish the strings were more present throughout the song than they were, they add this existential dread to the track that I do think the later sections are missing somewhat.
Speaking of strings, Empty Room is up next, and it’s one of my favourite tracks as well. It opens with the strings but they’re fast and energetic and they’re going to blow right past you. I thought this track was in like the second half of the album, but nope, here it is. This is also where the album’s second vocalist takes the lead for a bit (she only does for like 3 scattered tracks) and she’s genuinely great here. The songs chugs like an old train, in a way that reminds me a lot of other songs; in particular, the bit between the chorus and second verse (and chorus/outro) reminds me a lot of Teach me About Dying by Holy Holy- I can’t unhear “teach me about dying, teach me about dying-dying” over that instrumental. Despite its desolate lyricism, this song’s energy is genuinely excellent, and it carries really well through the whole thing. I can’t think of a lot of songs that start on this sort of tempo and have it run the whole way through- not to keep referencing other songs, but it’s very Go with the Flow by Queens of the Stone Age. And that’s like in the top 3 QotSA songs for me, so.
It’s only just struck me how much track 6, City With no Children, reminds me of There There by Radiohead. Its mostly the percussion, I think. That’s fucking high praise, but it’s also about as far as the comparison goes. The song is pretty okay outside of that, this theme of a town left lifeless by the commercialism and capitalism of the ultra-rich and what that does to people. Maybe that’s just my reading of it, I do have a bias for this sort of thing, but I challenge you to find another one. Looking on Genius is cheating. I do like the riff the track is built around, but it gets old eventually, since it doesn’t develop at all as the track progresses- lost potential, I suppose.
The next song is the first part of the album’s first of two two-parters, Half Light I, because apparently this one is trying to be a long-running drama show now. With that said, this ballad is kinda gorgeous, and yet also kinda extremely boring? Which is a frustrating place to be, frankly. I get the feeling this is an opinion that would get me crucified, but aside from those strings what fuck, the song just isn’t doing anything for me. Maybe it’s because it’s kinda almost the halfway point and I’m just getting tired, maybe it’s just a generational and cultural divide between America/Australia and 90s-00s/00s-10s and I don’t Get It. But I’m afraid to say this one doesn’t land.
Half Light II (No Celebration), for the record, is one I enjoy much more. The instrumentation is a lot more fun, the tone is a lot more pained (and y’all know I love me some angst), as the rose-tinted lenses of the previous half are replaced by the jade of someone growing up through the GFC (and just, in general). Despite being a two-part song, the halves are very different, a deliberate dichotomy representing two facets of that same look backwards. I feel like this isn’t like other two-part songs I’ve heard before, in that you can kinda appreciate the halves separately- or, in my case, one and not the other.
Track 9, and welcome more officially to the Second Half, with Suburban War. It’s very much about reminiscing about old friends, and I think I’m going to wax personal for a bit, because I have very little to say about the song musically. I mentioned earlier that I basically don’t know anyone from back when I was a kid, and that’s kind of a product of what my childhood looked like. It’s hard to have a “childhood friend” that you still keep up with when you spend 5 extremely crucial, defining years somewhere away from where all of them are. When you leave at 7 years old and don’t come back until you’re almost a teenager. People change so quickly at that age, and I’m no exception, and so I just didn’t have the ability to relate to those same people that long afterwards, even if I could find them. I don’t resent the experience of growing up in such a fractured manner, but it means I have a fundamentally different experience to that discussed in this album. At the same time, as I listen to the closing moments of this song, with the line repeated, “All my old friends, they don’t know me now”, I can’t help but notice the similarity. The writer’s friends don’t know them because they’ve grown up, changed fundamentally as people, whereas I don’t know my old friends in a much more literal sense.
Our next song is a bit more fun. Month of May is unequivocally a rock song, as opposed to the..indie? folk? of most of its surrounds. Much like Empty Room, it’s driven by its tempo and instrumentation, but it’s a bit less dour than that one, almost a bit oldie in its rock and roll swagger. The song isn’t so utterly different that it wouldn’t fit on the album, the traces of The Suburbs still roll through the whole thing, the same guitar and percussion tones driven up a couple notches on the ol’ Mohs scale. Quite solid, ultimately, in my opinion.
Track 11 is Wasted Hours. I think it’s a kind of appropriate title, not because it’s a waste of time, but because it just kinda feels like a nothing song as part of the album. Like, it is unquestionably Part Of The Album, sonically and thematically, but I deadass would not notice if it was missing from the record. Sorry if this one is your favourite, but this one isn’t for me.
Deep Blue, on the other hand, is the song that got me into the album. There’s really something about this track, this sense of discomfort with the passage of time, that really wormed its way into me. It’s a shockingly cold song for this acoustic instrumentation that’s usually associated with quite the opposite. The piano feels desperate, the guitars grim, and there’s actual synths hiding in here- the song relates to technology, after all. It’s concern for the future of humanity, of the youth, and for, well, the Suburbs, through the lens of watching that match between chess Grandmaster Kasparov and the A.I. Deep Blue in 1996. Go watch the Down the Rabbit Hole on that if you haven’t already (and have a few hours), by the way, it’s utterly excellent.
I can’t really describe how Deep Blue makes me feel. There’s just something about it. I feel like if I hear this song again in 10 years, it would genuinely bring me to tears- it feels like loss in a way, and not the meme.
We Used to Wait has a fun instrumentation, glittery piano and that funky guitar noodling in the background, but unfortunately the chorus kinda lets it down for me. I just do not care for it, it’s really built on a vocal line that really doesn’t track for me personally. Like, I’m just young enough that a lot of the theme of the track is utterly unrelatable to me- I hail from an era that is post- the change the track is referring to. I’m focussing a lot this time around about how the songs make me feel personally, but I think that’s kind of the appropriate tack for this album in particular- like the idea of nostalgic reminiscence is so inexorably tied to your own personal experiences that there’s no way around those experiences clouding your perception of this album, and with that, how well you end up liking it. I bet this whole thing hits way harder for someone born in the same couple years as this band.
We’re up to the second two-parter, Sprawl I (Flatland), kind of the finale for the whole thing. I mean, in I’s case, it’s certainly that emotionally. The song is so utterly down, it’s lost in the urban sprawl the title and lyrics describe, and with that comes a very quiet track. Moody strings and guitar, that eventually build during the fourth verse (there is no chorus and they’re short). It does eventually resolve on a more positive note, at least, one that’s hopefully relatable to many of us- eventually, we find our emotional home is, and it’s often not where we grew up.
youtube
Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains) is quite the different perspective. It’s got that other lead vocalist (I could look up her name but I won’t), it’s got a pulsing beat, and it has much more energy to work with. There are synths on this track that are absent from almost the entire rest of the album, but their introduction here, right at the end, is extremely cool. They’re cool, they’re clear, and they’re thematically relevant! I just really like the vibe of this track, and the way it trails off is similarly very good. Would recommend.
But of course there is one final track. Kind of. The Suburbs (continued) is basically a dark reprise of the album’s opener, shaded with more regret than that track is, more strings-y and whispered. It’s very short, but it acts as an appropriate closer for the whole thing.
And of course, that’s The Suburbs. In retrospect, I have a bit more mixed thoughts about this than I thought. There’s some really high highs, and some things that are just kind of bleh, but any album of this length is bound to have some misses. While I was browsing Genius to make sure I had the lyrics right for some tracks, I saw this record described as a Masterpiece, but I’m not sure that shoe fits- at least, not for me. The personal nature of this album, and anyone’s theoretical relationship with it, are such that I don’t think it can be given such a broad, universal title. I like the album as a whole quite a bit, but I personally wouldn’t call it a masterpiece.
It also doesn’t inspire me to go after more Arcade Fire. I’m actually perfectly content having them in my mind as this solitary piece, complete in its own way. Oh, they have like four other albums, but to me, Arcade Fire is The Suburbs. I don’t know why I’ve decided this, but it just works for me. So I’m sorry to any massive AF fans, but I did just dedicated 2.7k words to this album, so I’m sure you’re all satisfied.
God, next time I am going to have to cover something shorter, for my own sanity if nothing else.
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
heyayay-blog1
Untitled
cutepawsandclaws
Paws&Claws
lebiderya
İsimsiz
xiwivivavubo
Untitled
nourishingshampoo-blog
Hair Care Products and Salon