#this is just a boundary! I am not here to provide mental health support | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whaleofatjme1920 · 2 years

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Pls help I am in desperate need of advice

Today is my 1 year anniversary with my partner, and he didn't get me flowers. This is my issue

I made him a cake a few days ago and I burned and undercooked it at the same time. Not my proudest moment but I still went out of my way to try again and make him a whole new one with fancy heart shapped tins and a nice drink and a hand written letter to go with it. Money is tight so this was a bit hard to pull off but I managed

I did let him know what happened and he said it's ok and it didn't matter.

I surprised him today and he didn't bring me anything which hurt bc I felt that I really went out of my way to do something special

I talked to him and I told him I wanted flowers, and that I didn't care if they were 1000 dollar flowers or free flowers from his yard. I wouldn't have minded the the flowers from his yard.

I asked for a break and he's heartbroken. I just want the break to get in a good headspace and think. Bc this really hurt me

What should I do

Nice to see you again love bug. It's been a minute or so.

Anyways, I'm honestly running out of advice to tell you. I like for you guys to be able to share what's on your mind here, and to tell me things but you need to remember I'm not your therapist. I don't know your relationship near well enough to give advice. Like, from what I remember you're prone to overthinking but also, and most importantly I remember seeing the post from last month talking about how you guys were close to being together for one year.

In it, you talked about being scared of commitment, and a bunch of style related stuff, scared of not experiencing enough, I think you even mentioned some other mental health stuff. Again, what I'm trying to say is, love bug you might need to take this stuff to a professional.

Outside of the very basic: oh just communicate more, I cannot tell you what to do or how to go about things. Did you tell him the flower thing before or after? Because if he didn't know before hand, I find that kinda hard? Like, I'm the kind of person who, if I don't mention it, don't do anything about it. Don't surprise me, don't throw any hints etc. I will tell you directly what I want and what I don't. Did you talk about your 1 year before this? Do you know why he didn't give you anything?

But again, you might need to take your relationship stuff up with someone else. It's not my place to tell you what to do or how to go about it.

#this is just a boundary! I am not here to provide mental health support #i am not here to analyze your relationships and fix them #I love you guys so much but again we are strangers on the internet #it's almost unfair to be a therapist for someone who doesn't even know me #we don't have that kind of relationship to do this.#i want you to be safe to express yourself here but please #I am not your therapist.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 days

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AITA for lying to my friends and causing someone to end their life?

🫐☎️🧼

So I can find this later

Trigger warning for suicide.

In this situation I'm aware I fucked up badly multiple times, but I want to know for sure whether I was in the wrong. I went through the FAQ to check that this submission is okay and sorry if there's something disqualifying it I didn catch!

I (minor) was active in an online group where I made some online friends. The group was for preteens, teens, and very young adults (13-21.) I befriended one person, Blueberry (fake name, because emoji) and we became close over a few months. At one point they admitted they had a crush on me I didn't feel the same, but we agreed to stay friends and it didn't affect the friendship.

One thing about this group is that it was aimed at mental health. Me and this person had similar problems with depression and suicidal thoughts (both actively suicidal) and often talked when one of us was in a dark place. When Blueberry turned 18 things took a turn for the worst. Multiple times a week they had panic attacks (they were in the process of getting diagnosed with OCD and bad intrusive thoughts) or crisis and attempted several times. I got overwhelmed. Instead of establishing a boundary like I should have, I started ghosting them for a few hours if it got too bad. It got to the point I'd log on once or twice a day to check in, but instead of ever chatting, the conversation always ended in their next plan to kill themselves. This one was my fault, as we'd had casual convos about this stuff in the main group. I and others did what we could to help, like providing support and helplines. Blueberry did contact many and it saved them lots.

By this point Blueberry had done lots of other risky stuff. They lashed out and blocked a lot of mutual friends, made a fake account to pretend to be a young teen at one point (but deleted it when I asked), and other things. I didn't want to lose them as a friend so I covered for Blueberry when it was exposed. I should point out Blueberry was never mean to me they were really nice. They liked to learn about my interests and complimented me and others lots and I tried to do the same (learn about what they liked, tell them I was happy to hear from them, etx)

Obviously people of the group felt betrayed when they found out Blueberry was catfishing them as this younger teen. In Blueberry's own words, I was "the only one they could trust." Blueberry admitted again that they wanted to be more than friends, but since they were now 18 and I was still a few years younger than them I asked to just be friends because the age gap was uncomfy. They were okay with it. The next day, Blueberry said goodbye to me and deleted their account. I was really upset by this and we talked one last time where I wished them well and said how much I'd miss them but didn't think something was seriously wrong because Blueberry and me had discussed them leaving the group before because it was hurting their mental health.

Later a friend of both Blueberry and me reached out about their behavior the days before they left and some conversations I hadn't seen. All of us are pretty sure they didn't just delete their account—they killed themself. The goodbye message proved this. I was upset and angry that they were dead, said sorry to the group for lying to them about Blueberry catfishing, and left the group.

I think I may be the asshole here because I was really selfish here in not wanting to address Blueberry's really creepy catfishing (pretending to be a young teen, which knowing that they had romantic feelings for me could have led to them befriending people lots younger than them which is bad) because I didn't want to lose the friendship, and also because if I hadn't ghosted Blueberry using mental health as an excuse I don't think they would have killed themselves. If I am the asshole here, what could I do better next time if I have a similar problem again?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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compassionatereminders · 2 years

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Please read this post before sending me an ask

I am not comfortable being used as a stand-in for professional help:

Don't ask me whether you qualify for a certain diagnosis.

Don't ask me how to cope with or recover from a certain symptom/disorder.

Don't ask me how to cope with, escape or recover from an abusive or otherwise traumatic situation.

Don't ask me to talk you out of self harm, suicide or other self destructive behaviors.

Don't ask me to write in depth educational resources. (You can ask me questions about my own experiences, but don't expect me to spend an hour explaining all the various symptoms of schizophrenia just because I have it.)

I am not comfortable being used as a resource on questions specifically related to subjects I don't have personal experience with. You can vent to me, but don't expect me to be able to provide answers related to:

Being physically disabled.

Being a person of color.

Being transgender.

Being gay.

Being aromantic and/or asexual.

Being fat.

Having abusive parents.

Being abused as a child.

Being poor.

Studying or working.

Any mental health condition I'm not diagnosed with myself.

I am not comfortable with my blog being used for promotion by people I don't know:

Don't use the anon function to talk shit about people on tumblr you don't like. I usually don't know you or the person in question, so I can't know whether you're telling the truth.

Don't ask me to reblog your donation post.

That being said, most of the time I will happily:

Answer personal questions.

Offer emotional support, encouragement and validation to people who need a place to vent or share.

Share my personal opinion on something you want an opinion on.

Thanks for reading! If you cross the boundaries I've listed here, I will probably ignore you. If you do it repeatedly, I will block you.

#kat gets personal #chat with kat #kat gets serious

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emotionally-intuitive-engineer · 2 months

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Hey…I don’t know where to begin with this…I feel like I’m being a bother, but someone I thought was supposed to be my father lied to me and betrayed my trust, I have a dog but me and my mother had to leave him and go live in an apartment, we had to leave her with him since she was to hyperactive to take and be in an apartment, she died to months ago, my dog I had since I was 9 died at age 7, and he didn’t tell me, how she died I’m not sure nor do I want to know since the information could destroy me mentally, I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, he’s been spamming my phone and freaking out because I’m choosing to ignore him, he’s done nothing but bring me pain, there’s something wrong with that man….he doesn’t know that I know about my dog dying by his hands and I feel partially guilty by my choice to ignore him since my mom has to go deal with him now…there’s so much going on right now I feel drained and empty

Hi anon, this is the mod of @emotionally-clumsy-soldier filling in for Ro (the mod of this blog). I'm really sorry you're going through this, but this is an account Ro runs for fun. When they started this account I imagine they were hoping they could just provide some gentle comfort to people having a little bit of a rough time. But at the end of the day, Ro is a minor, you are a complete stranger, and there seems to be a pattern of people (or god forbid, the same person, like I think it is) continuously pushing the boundaries of the amount of support they are willing to provide.

I don't know who you are. Ro doesn't know who you are. It's not okay for you to abuse that anonymity to force them into a situation where they are pushed into acting as your only line of support. This blog was supposed to be fun and now I am recieving dms from Ro asking me what to do about them because it's just too much. Ro loves to help people whenever they can but at what point does it become their only purpose? At what point does Engie's mod stop becoming a person and start becoming a vent mailbox without will?

Ro won't be accepting anons like this anymore. They will be deleted. It's taking a toll on their mental health and I personally refuse to enable this kind of behavior for the other minors that run blogs like this. This is simply not okay. Do better.

Put less nicely; cut the shit and have the self awareness to realize that you're speaking to a real regular person and not Engineer tf2. Get into therapy or use character.ai. Ro is not here to fill in for your lack of therapy. Stop mistreating rp blog admins. PERIOD.

#ooc #i'm sorry #i still love you guys but box is right

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soul-wanderer · 1 year

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Here’s a hot take - the Marina fandom has shown it’s whiteness and racial bias this season in the way it defended Maya the whole time she was struggling with her mental health but then immediately turned on Theo when it happened to him too.

Alright, I had to let this sit for a hot second, because otherwise I might have just exploded, because yes, yes, yes.

And let me preface this by saying: I am NOT saying that how Theo treated others was, in any way, okay. Just like I wasn't saying that what Maya did to everyone else was okay.

But it is so blatantly and painfully obvious that Theo gets no grace or kindness from this fandom whatsoever, and it does make you wonder, doesn't it?

If we put aside the people who always hated Maya anyway, this still leaves us with a considerable amount of people who willingly and happily defended Maya, but harshly and immediately judge Theo for the very same struggles now.

How comes that somehow, somehow, people think Theo being dismissive and accusing Vic of being self-centred (which he isn't entirely wrong about) or Theo being intense as a captain because he wants his team to be safe is WORSE than Maya quite LITERALLY telling Carina that if she is being hurt by how she is dealing with her problems, that's her problem? Or her just completely ignoring her wife for weeks? Maya, at her worst, was just as, if not more self-centred than Theo ever was, so it makes absolutely no sense why Maya got away with it, while Theo did not.

I'd argue it is partially because we only ever got to explore his trauma surrounding Michael's death, something that he has stated numerous times is still affecting/hurting him, but so far they did not pick up the arc surrounding his old neighbourhood, and we know very little about how he grew up, apart from knowing his dad died and that his best friend got kicked out for being gay. But still, still, there has been no doubt that him behaving the way he does is due to mental health issues and people are still so quick to judge him for struggling. And that isn't even taking into account that Vic kept trying to push him when he told her numerous times to stop and therefore indirectly asked her to respect his boundaries. Vic has a heart of gold, but sometimes it makes her miss the mark, and that's exactly what happened there. Sure, Theo needs therapy, but Vic isn't the one to provide him with that.

Long story short: This fandom is so big on double standards, but will happily uphold their own double standards for the sake of what? I honestly do not even know at this point. And it's kind of funny, actually, because historically Theo has been shown to be such a loving and supportive and funny person, so why would people suddenly conclude he is the most toxic person on earth? While historically, we have met Maya as this person who is kind of ruthless and a little (well a lot) messed up and in the end she still got more kindness from everyone when she started treating everyone around her like shit.

And to make it clear: This is not "Love Theo, but hate Maya", this is merely saying that they both hurt those around them because they are both struggling, and they deserve equal amounts of kindness for that. Maya got the chance to work on herself and make amends, so for christ's sake, offer Theo the same opportunity as well, okay?

#Station 19 #Theo Ruiz #the racial bias is strong in this fandom and I am hating every second of it thank you very much

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lindszeppelin · 3 months

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I usually look at the shipper's blog, because she is very thorough with seemingly every move Austin makes and therefore provides lots of up-to-the-minute Austin content.

But after yesterday's situation in Paris with K showing up, I am taking a break from looking at her blog and also not looking at Twitter or scrolling on here.

So, for now, for my sanity, I will just be checking your blog for Austin updates. So, keep up the sanity train, because that's the exclusive update train I am currently riding.

Twitter and the shipper's blog were not good for my sanity, so I am doing what's best for me, while still seeing what Austin is up to with his projects and beautiful pics of him, and so on.

It's taking self-control, but I realized that this is much healthier for my well-being. This way I can be sure to not be bombarded by K bullshit. And lack of K is indeed a wonderful thing. Great for the soul! Thank you for running a great blog, Linds, and for being awesome. ❤️

that "thoroughness" is usually achieved by stalking, over stepping boundaries that normal fans need not cross, and gatekeeping. so just be mindful when going on these blogs. do your own research, always.

but im glad to hear you are gonna take a break for your mental health. that is always so much more important than anything else. and as far as austin updates i keep the Dune 2 press planner on my blog and when i happen to come across any news or interviews i will put them all in there. and i'll be doing the same for the Bikeriders press tour coming up. mostly because my brain likes to keep things organized to one place, so it's easier for me to know what events happened when and where.

but thank you for the support jasmine! <3

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savage-rhi · 1 year

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Please read this post before sending me an ask/request

Here’s a quick summary of an important thing:

Make sure you read my blog page Da Rules. I know its lengthy, but it’s thorough.

When you have finished reading Da Rules, message me with the key word (if you read through, you’ll know!)

**Important: Da Rules do not pop up on mobile. Even after checking the correct coding etc. I can’t get it to work. If you’re on mobile, just read through this post and we should be good 👍🏻💯. I strongly encourage you to read Da Rules when you’re on desktop.

Here’s a summary of content I will write:

I will write for any characters–canon or oc

I will write most themes and prompts

I will write ships

I will write gore and violence

I will write sexual content

Here’s a summary of content I will not write:

Whatever I am personally not comfortable with.

As stated, I will write for any fandoms and characters. Even ones I am not familiar with, provided I am given enough information and/or I can seek it out myself.

Here are a list of fandoms I participate in and have written for at one point or another:

Resident Evil

Death Stranding

Final Fantasy (XV, VII, VIII, X, X-2 & additional)

Game of Thrones

Hades

Horizon Zero Dawn

Yu-Gi-Oh

Cowboy Bebop

Outlaw Star

Supernatural

Important tabs on my blog page:

Da Rules--(insert snape voice here) obviously

Prompts--If you are not sure what to send in, or need writing inspiration go here. I archive many writing prompts and ideas here.

Drabbles--I tag all requested work with #drabbles. If you want to comb through and find old works I’ve done check here.

3 important things you should take away from Da Rules page: (if you decide to skip over..cause let’s face it, I think we’ve all done that before. We’re human.)

If you are younger than 18+, I recommend you don’t interact with this blog as I am open to prompts that may be offensive, sexual and or disturbing to some individuals. I may also reblog offensive, sexual, and or disturbing content. I am not responsible for your consumption. Please be aware and enter at your own risk.

If the anon function is abused, I will turn it off until further notice. This sucks for folks who are shy, don't want to comment on posts, or don't feel comfortable with me/the public. Please be mindful.

I believe we curate our own individual experiences in our little corners of the internet. That unless we are directly hurting somebody, everyone should be allowed to cater to whatever passions they have on their blogs. If there is something I post that offends, makes you uncomfortable etc. simply unfollow or block me.

Most of the time I will happily:

Answer personal questions.

Offer emotional support, encouragement and validation to people who need a place to vent or share--within reason (please do not use me as a therapy resource. I am in the mental health field and even I need space from it. I can provide you peer delivered resources, but that’s it).

Share my personal opinion on something you want an opinion on.

If you’re a writer, offer feedback and would be more than happy to read your work. Link me your AO3 or other projects!

Thanks for reading! If you cross the boundaries I've listed here, I will probably ignore you. If you do it repeatedly, I will block you.

#savagerhi #quick rules #been meaning to do this for a long while #will pin later

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

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TW: CSA ment, Abuse, and um i don't know how to trigger one for this but mention of Vagina and Pelvic flooring (not in a detailed or sexual manner)

Hello, I'm sorry if this is incorrect formatting etc as i just found this blog but.

I am here to ask if anyone deals with.. not remembering who did it to them or when or how. I have multiple mental illnesses that could have made me repress on top of it being traumatic.

I know i must have been under seven years old. But thats it. What abuse i do remember affects me but not like this.

The only mental illness I'll bring up is my psychosis, i worry I'm heavily just having a delusion that i was SA'd. But i feel like I'm not. I also know it wasn't my parents or grandparents, or at least I'm 87% sure.

My parents didn't have friends, and i did but they never came over to my house, so i don't think it was like that.

My signs i feel strongly towards why i may have been;

Scared of windows and closet doors. Like deathly so. Like i put things in front of them to make sure even though in my new house we have an alarm system. Also under any beds. In my childhood home i had two closets and two windows.

I didn't have a hymen which i know can be common.

I am constantly aware of my pelvis flooring and vagina. Constantly feeling like people can see me naked when I'm dressed.

I have undiagnoised chronic pain. And lately have noticed odd walking.

I didn't have a hymen which i know can be common.

I am constantly aware of my pelvis flooring and vagina. Constantly feeling like people can see me naked when I'm dressed.

I have undiagnoised chronic pain. And lately have noticed odd walking.

Jealous with other people having sex even though I'm not always interested in the person.

Have become sex repulsed due to refinding out about this.

There is a lot but i won't keep going.

Any help would be appreciated /gen

-Bad Dog

Hi Bad Dog,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Please know that your feelings and experiences are valid. It's not uncommon for individuals to repress or have fragmented memories of traumatic experiences, especially if they occurred at a young age or if there are underlying mental health conditions present, such as psychosis.

The signs you've mentioned could potentially be linked to trauma, as they are not uncommon for CSA survivors. However, it's important to remember that I don't have the knowledge or authority to tell you with certainty that you have endured CSA. It would be best to get the opinion of a mental health professional, such as a therapist, who can provide a safe space for you to explore and process these experiences. A therapist can help you navigate your thoughts and emotions, validate your feelings, and provide appropriate guidance based on their expertise.

Please remember to practice self-care and engage in activities that promote your well-being. This can include practicing relaxation techniques, engaging in creative outlets, establishing healthy boundaries, and surrounding yourself with supportive and understanding individuals who respect your journey.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw child abuse #bad dog

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unwelcome-ozian · 1 year

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Hello. I was wondering if you could help me understand how to help a survivor of the Family international (formerly children of god) who recently left the cult. More specifically the groups in the uk.

My siblings and I grew up in the cult and my sister and I managed to get away as teenagers. Now I could get one of my younger brothers to leave our family and live with me. I just want to make sure I do things right with him.

I went through years of being hospitalised and therapy to deal with the trauma and bipolar disorder. My sister was always the person who understood and supported me the most, which definitely helped me manage. She respectfully told me she doesn’t want to interact with our brother because it would be too triggering for her, which I understand. But I’m afraid I’m not as strong as her and am too unstable to really help my him.

I don’t remember most of my upbringing and only get into contact with it through flashbacks, so I can’t relate to the beliefs they planted inside his head.

If it helps, our family used to live in Scotland but we moved to Liverpool when I was very young. My parents were still involved in the cult and we moved around from time to time to “recruit” others. My sister and I left in ca 2012, I was born in 1999. My brother who’s now living with me is 18. Sorry if this is all to vague or if this is beyond what you do here. Thank you. -L

Hello. I have thought a lot about your question. If I understand correctly, the brother in question is living with you, or was at the time of your writing this note? If I am mistaken, please feel free to correct me.

It is difficult to say what your brother’s needs may be initially other than safety. You may have to assess his safety need and come up with a plan to help him if there are any concerns in that area. While you are focusing on providing safety and stability for the time being, it may be helpful for you to talk with your support people or build support for yourself that will help in encouraging you and helping you for when times are difficult with your brother. Until you know what his needs are, relating with him with kindness, consistency and good boundaries, in such a way that he experiences safety in his relationship with you, will build trust and equity in your relationship.

As you relate with him in ways that do not employ control tactics, with acceptance and patience, and interest in him as a person, it may create cognitive dissonance regarding some of his beliefs or patterns of relating, that may cause him to begin to open his mind to different ways of thinking thinking and experiencing life. There may be some trauma responses that have already come to awareness. You may be able to discuss ways that could help him feel safe and more in control when he starts to feel anxious or dysregulated. It's possible that you will have the opportunity to engage in conversations that can bring healing. Or it may be the reliability of your presence that will still have a positive impact, even if you don’t know what it is until much later. This is because it sometimes takes a really long time to believe the care that you are receiving isn't going to go away. He may not think he needs mental health help, and it may take him a bit of time out of that environment for him to know what he needs. If he is open to seeking therapy, helping him find that kind of support may be helpful. One thing that is important is that you let him lead the way in his own healing. There are ways to help increase a person’s positive energy, which may be helpful, without a focus on healing. If he enjoys fun or creative things, providing opportunities to just live and be playful may be good for his soul.

Lastly I would encourage you to have a priority of your own continued healing and growth. Make sure that you can both experience compassion for him and at the same time still experience your own joy for other parts of your life. This will help you to continue to be there for him for the long haul.

I recently posted a link to a website that had some educational resources for people getting out of cults. I’ll post that again here. Please let us know if you have any other questions. I wish you and your brother well.

~Josha

#answers to questions #helping someone leave a cult #support person #ways to have positive impact #Josha

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rachellaurengray · 5 days

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30 Ways to Ground Your Energy When Your Feel Unstable

Navigating instability can be challenging, but incorporating grounding activities into your routine can provide stability and support.

Here are 30 specific activities tailored to help you feel more centered and grounded during difficult times:

Box Breathing: Practice breathing in for four counts, holding for four counts, breathing out for four counts, and holding for four counts, to calm your nervous system.

Grounding Objects: Keep a small comforting object with you, like a smooth stone or a piece of fabric, to touch when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Body Scan Meditation: Gently focus on each part of your body, noticing any tension and consciously relaxing those muscles.

Sensory Jar: Create a sensory jar filled with glitter or colored liquids to shake and watch as a distraction and calming technique.

Safety Plan: Develop a safety plan with steps to take when you're feeling unstable, including who to contact and where to go for help.

Daily Routine: Stick to a daily routine as much as possible to provide structure and stability.

Journaling Prompts: Use guided journaling prompts focused on processing emotions and recognizing patterns in your thoughts.

Safety Box: Create a safety box filled with comforting items, coping strategies, and reminders of reasons to keep going.

Cognitive Behavioral Techniques: Practice cognitive behavioral techniques such as thought challenging and reframing negative thoughts.

Soothing Sounds: Listen to calming music or nature sounds with noise-canceling headphones.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes up to your head.

Support Groups: Join a support group or online community where you can share experiences and receive support.

Guided Imagery: Listen to guided imagery recordings that take you to peaceful, imaginary places.

Emergency Contacts: Keep a list of emergency contacts handy, including trusted friends, family, and mental health professionals.

Grounding Techniques: Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.

Distraction Activities: Engage in activities that require focus, such as puzzles, coloring, or playing a musical instrument.

Gratitude Practice: Write down three things you're grateful for each day, no matter how small.

Self-Compassion Exercises: Practice self-compassion exercises, acknowledging your struggles with kindness and understanding.

Healthy Boundaries: Set and maintain healthy boundaries with others to protect your emotional well-being.

Grounding Yoga Flow: Practice a gentle yoga flow focusing on grounding poses like Child's Pose, Forward Fold, and Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose.

Nature Connection: Spend time in nature, even if it's just sitting in a park or garden, to feel connected to the earth.

Creative Expression: Express yourself creatively through art, writing, or music, allowing your emotions to flow without judgment.

Warm Baths with Epsom Salt: Soak in a warm bath with Epsom salts to relax your muscles and calm your mind.

Limit Stimulants: Reduce intake of caffeine and sugar, as they can exacerbate feelings of anxiety and instability.

Positive Affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations to yourself, such as "I am strong," "I am capable," and "This too shall pass."

Breath Counting: Focus on counting your breaths, inhaling and exhaling deeply, to anchor yourself in the present moment.

Guided Meditation Apps: Use guided meditation apps designed for anxiety and stress relief.

Therapy Animal Interaction: Spend time with therapy animals, if available, to experience the calming effects of animal companionship.

Identify Triggers: Identify triggers for your instability and develop coping strategies to manage them effectively.

Professional Help: Reach out to a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist for professional support and guidance.

#wellness #virgo #capricorn #taurus #leo #mentalhealth #positive mental attitude #yum #health #energy #therapy #mental health

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princessmia-tarot · 8 months

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Hi, Mia! This thought has been weighing on me since last year or the year before that. I am the kind of person to have a few but really close circle of friends. Right now, I do not vibe with some of my college friends. They are nice, but there are just some attitude I cannot tolerate and the dynamic I find unhealthy. I do not open this about them, and I feel guilty for not telling them how I really feel. But at the same time, I feel like my friendship with some of them will fade or be disconnected with time and circumstances so I do not feel the need to open to them. For this free reading, may I please receive an advise for the future on how I would gravitate towards people who I can build a healthy friendship with? Thank you! 🩶

Hello love!

Before I begin if you or anyone who sees this reading could respond to this poll, it would be much appreciated (open 3rd-10th Oct) <3.

I understand your concerns about your current friendships and your desire to build healthy connections with like-minded people in the future. Let's seek guidance from the symbolism of the Seven of Cups to provide you with advice for attracting healthy friendships:

The Seven of Cups often represents choices and opportunities. In the context of your situation, it suggests the following advice for the future:

Clarity of Desires: The first step in attracting healthy friendships is to gain clarity about the kind of people you want to surround yourself with. Take some time to reflect on your values, interests, and the qualities you appreciate in friends. Knowing what you seek will help you recognize like-minded individuals.

Set Boundaries: You mentioned that you find some dynamics unhealthy and have difficulty tolerating certain attitudes. In the future, it's crucial to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in your friendships. Be clear about your expectations and communicate openly when necessary.

Be Authentic: Authenticity is key in attracting friends who resonate with your true self. Be genuine and true to who you are, and you'll naturally gravitate towards people who appreciate and connect with your authenticity.

Shared Interests: Seek out activities, groups, or communities that align with your interests and passions. When you engage in activities you're passionate about, you're more likely to meet individuals who share your enthusiasm and values.

Intuition: Trust your intuition when meeting new people. If you feel a positive, genuine connection with someone, pursue that connection. Conversely, if something doesn't feel right or align with your values, don't be afraid to step back.

Quality Over Quantity: As you mentioned, you value a close circle of friends. Focus on building deep, meaningful connections rather than accumulating a large number of friends. Quality friendships often provide more fulfillment and support.

Let Go of Guilt: It's okay to distance yourself from friendships that no longer serve your well-being. You should never feel guilty for prioritizing your mental and emotional health. Trust that the right people will understand and respect your boundaries.

Patience: Building healthy friendships may take time, but it's worth the wait. Be patient and open to new experiences and connections. Over time, you'll naturally gravitate towards people who align with your values and bring positivity into your life.

Remember that friendships should bring joy, support, and growth into your life. By being true to yourself, setting boundaries, and seeking out like-minded individuals, you'll attract and cultivate healthy friendships that enrich your life in the future.

Mia💗

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sednas · 2 years

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Hi. Can I have some headcanons or short stories with tokyo revengers boys (draken, chifuyu, baji, kazutora and angry) having a girlfriend struggling with her mental health? Thank you and sorry if the requests are closed.

tokyo rev boys with a gf struggling with her mental health

what they would do/how they would act with a girlfriend struggling with her mental health.

I would have liked to not relate but here I am, relatin'

hope you like what I wrote, take care <3

(it's supposed to be a fem!reader but I did not specify the gender)

fem!reader x characters from tokyo revengers

trigger warning: mention of depression, insomnia, low self-esteem, anxiety and bad mental health in general

─ draken

the one who can provide you a feeling of safety during any social activity

he can read through you like an open book

so if you start feeling anxious he will immediately notice it.

"hey."

you feel a hand gently wrap around yours as you try to calm down the rhythm of your beating heart. turning you around as gently as he can, your boyfriend brings his face closer to yours, watching you with a worried expression.

"you're okay? we can go if you want to."

you honestly want to punch yourself in the face, why are you so stressed when you are surrounded by people you don't even know. why your heart is beating so fast and why breathing is so difficult all of sudden? lifting your eyes to look at draken you squeeze his hand a little while trying to act normally, like everything was okay.

"I'm fine, just a little overwhelmed, nothing to worry about." and you're sincere, you don't want to burden him with this, it's not that bad, everybody gets stressed out sometimes, you're no exception.

he looks at your fake smile while raising a brow.

"you don't need to lie to me."

you lower your head in defeat, feeling like a burden to him.

"it's okay. can I?" he softly asks, not wanting to overstep your boundaries during your current state.

nodding slowly, you let draken wrap his arm around your shoulders, bringing your face close to his chest so you can hide in it. his scent floating all over you eases your mind, your face buried against him makes you feel like there's no one else in the world but you and him.

"let's go somewhere nice. it sucks here anyway."

─ chifuyu

the one who can provide you an emotional support during times when you lack energy or just feel simply sad

he's so understanding and kind, taking care of you without any reluctance

he's literally your sunshine in human form when you feel sad

laying on your bed, your eyes facing the ceiling, you try to get that empty feeling out of your chest, you don't even know why you're feeling this way, it's silly you think. lost in your thoughts, you don't hear the door opened, startling a little when you feel someone sitting on the bed.

"what are you doing in the dark like this?"

you relax when you hear the calming voice of chifuyu, not bothering to answer while he turns on the lamp next to your bed. it doesn't take long for him to notice your teary eyes, his face towering yours, lightly touching your cheek with his knuckles. without a word he lays on his back next to you, intertwining your fingers with his as he starts humming softly.

"what was that song we heard on the radio last day. 'can't remember the name..." he mumbles, still humming, trying to get the melody right.

you know he wants to distract you from your burdening thoughts, and it actually works, smiling a little and then chuckling when you hear him sing out of tune.

"that one was horrible fuyu." you say and he laughs with you.

you let out a relaxed sigh, moving your face into the crook of his neck while he wraps his hand around your waist.

"thank you." you whisper in his ear.

"it's okay, no need to thank me. it's one of my jobs to make you laugh."

drowning in a comfortable silence, you feel yourself and your thoughts calming down, breathing with your boyfriend next to you.

─ baji

soft and gentle

it's weird because he's so big and scary but for you he turns into an attentive and caring man

his love language is physical touch, so his way of reassuring you is to touch you

you've never seen this man be sweet to anyone but here he is, talking to you oh so softly to ease your mind while running his big hand behind your back. it's 3am, baji yawns for the fourth time but he won't go back to sleep, not until you fall asleep first.

"still not sleeping uh?" he asks, tugging at your hair a little when he feels you moving in his arms.

"I will never fall asleep if you keep asking me." you answer, laughing a little and the cute noise vibrates in his chest.

"alright alright I'll shut up, 'just want you to relax for me, I'll keep rubbing your back."

his voice sounds like a distant melody, you know you're about to drift off, but there's still something that prevents you from letting go completely. it's like the insomnia encircled your body, it won't let you rest, whispering dark thoughts at your ears every time you close your eyes. you bury your face a little deeper into baji's chest while his fingers trace random shapes on your skin in a relaxing gesture.

"I'm here, you can rest I've got you. I'll be here tomorrow."

his words find a way to calm your mind, allowing you to fully relax in his embrace while you listen to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

─ kazutora

pretty sure he has anxiety or another mental issue(s)

he knows these kind of things can be really hard to deal with, so he's very understanding

he cares more for you than for himself

silently reading a book, you barely notice kazutora entering the room, holding in his hands a large bag.

"hey babe, I have a question for you."

you tilt your head up toward him, smiling when you hear his playful tone.

"what is it?" you ask, closing your book to pay full attention to him.

he comes and sits down, turning his body toward you.

"did you eat today?" he questions and it makes you sink into the couch.

you didn't expect that.

"uh... no, I wasn't hungry so..."

you really thought he wouldn't notice the way you skipped last night's meal and this afternoon's. a feeling of guilt fills your heart, why did you think he wasn't going to see it, no one has ever been so caring to you until you met him. feeling like you have betrayed him, you lower your eyes to the ground.

"hey."

his voice brings you back to reality, and before you can even say sorry he gently pokes your forehead with his fingertips as if to stop your thoughts.

"it's alright babe, it's not your fault."

he softly runs his hand through your hair, ruffling them a little which makes you laugh.

"but, I want you to eat something now to get your strength back, please."

you can't say no to him, so you nod your head, watching him carefully bring the bag he was holding a few minutes ago on the table in front of you. emptying its content, kazutora spreads all sort of food on the table.

"of course you don't have to eat all of it." he says, chuckling lightly.

you lean in to kiss his cheek, his face quickly turning into a cute shade of red.

"will you eat with me, please?"

─ angry

probably the most capable of dealing with your extreme emotions but also the one who reacts to it in the most natural way

he's really kind and caring, always listening to you with an attentive ear.

he takes your issue(s) very seriously, he never made fun of you or used it against you.

"yeah I know, it's my fault..."

souta is listening with one ear your conversation with a friend of yours on the phone. he's staring at his own phone but he doesn't really do anything on it, more focused on what you're saying.

"yeah... I'm sorry."

your voice is getting weaker and weaker every time you speak, souta watching you in the corner of his eyes, his brows furrowed. when he sees tears starting to pour out of your eyes he suddenly gets up, taking your phone from your hand and hanging up the call.

"why- why did you do that?"

"I'm tired of hearing you apologize for everything. I don't even have to know what you were talking about to guess that your friend was taking advantage of you, again."

he's clenching his teeth as usual, a vein has popped up on the right side of his neck, his blue eyes lay on you as you sit on the couch, his words piercing you like daggers. his tone had been a little more violent than he would have liked, souta immediately regrets it, his eyes softening when he sees your teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk to you like this." he sighs, kneeling down next to you to grope your cheek in a sweet gesture.

you close your eyes, leaning into his touch.

"no you're right, I always feel like a burden for everyone... I tend to let other people treat me badly because I think I deserve it." you whisper, without opening your eyes, feeling a few tears rolling down on your face.

souta's hand moves to your hair, caressing them softly.

"I know it may be hard, but you have to stop apologizing for just being... you. it's not always your fault, you don't have to take the blame every time."

you lightly nod your head, feeling your tears stop thanks to his words.

"you're right. I was about to say I'm sorry but I guess I'll pass for once."

souta smiles with you, taking you gently in his arms and kissing your forehead.

tokyo revengers masterlist

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clever-and-unique-name · 2 years

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[Image description under the readmore.]

[ID: A twitter thread by user @irismcalpin. It reads:

Just because you can help someone doesn’t automatically mean you should—a thread about emotional boundaries:

Many of us enjoy being helpful to the people in our lives & may even have training or education in psychology, emotional intelligence, spirituality or relationships.

People may come to us for support & guidance, & that’s great. When we can provide it in a way that’s healthy for everyone involved it’s a beautiful thing. It’s also important to know our limits & when to set a boundary. Here are 3 examples:

If your parents are coming to you for relationship advice, it might feel good that they trust you, & value your opinion. It can also feel really destabilizing to get into the details of their problems. A couple’s therapist will be much better equipped to handle this.

If your ex that you’re still friends with is having trouble with their new love interest, it might feel good that they value you enough to seek your comfort & counsel. But if there’re any lingering feelings on your end, it’s most likely healthier for them to talk to someone else.

Or let’s say your sibling is in an abusive relationship & keep coming to you for comfort. If you encourage them to leave, but they don’t listen, there may be a point at which you need to suggest seeing a therapist. Yes you can offer comfort, but that may not be what they need.

When offering help it’s useful to consider 2 things: 1) Is it sustainable for my own mental well-being to be there in this way for this person? & 2) Even if I technically have the skills, am I really the best person to support them?

Sometimes it’s easy to think “well they won’t see a mental health professional even if I suggest it, so I’m all they have.” That still doesn’t automatically mean it’s best for everyone involved to swoop in to save the day.

Every situation is different, but sometimes by not setting that boundary we’re enabling them to not seek proper support. These can be really difficult calculations to make, & ultimately you know best what works for you in your life.

If you do find yourself drained, destabilized, &/or starting to have your own issues as a result of showing up for certain people, it might be time to reevaluate. As one of my friends used to always say “2 dead batteries don’t start a car.” It’s OK to prioritize your own needs. /endID]

#tweets #boundaries #relationships #I really enjoy this person's take on things

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star-anise · 3 years

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Ask I got elsewhere on Tumblr:

do you have any recommendations for like. medium-level basic training programs in how to help people? is there anything more serious than 'here are basic guidelines' but more accessible than outright getting a degree? i'm assuming if something like this does exist it might be tricky to find or area specific, i'm just hoping for tips on what to search for on my own/red flags to avoid (also to clarify i'm not a teenager) i would very much appreciate any suggestions you have

There are absolutely training courses for members of the general public who want to help people who are dealing with mental health problems.

First thing: Not the direct answer to your question, but stuff I am guessing you definitely need.

Preventing Compassion Fatigue

Setting Boundaries When Caring for Someone with Depression

Being Assertive: Reduce Stress, Communicate Better

Self-Care for Helpers

7 Ways to Avoid Codependency in Your Relationships

Next up: You have the option of volunteering for a social services or mental health organization, like 2-1-1, a crisis support hotline, or a peer counselling network, where they provide the training you need and give you guidance and support. This usually gives you access to really good training for free so long as you commit to volunteering a certain amount.

(I also find it’s really positive to have a Part of Your Life You Help People In, which has natural boundaries to separate it from the rest of your life. It’s good practice for being able to put the Helper hat on, and then when you’re done, take it off and focus on yourself. Like, I love my friends, and I will help my friends get therapists, but I will not be my friends’ therapist)

Anyway, here are examples of resources and training in Canada that I’d recommend for people with no formal background in mental health. If you want to just sign up on their website and go, you really can:

Mental Health First Aid

LivingWorks trainings--the one I’ve taken is ASIST suicide intervention, and they’ve also got LivingWorks Start, which is for anyone 13 and up, and is discounted to $28 USD until the end of May 2021

Centre for Suicide Prevention Workshops

Although many of them cost money, they can offer discounts if you ask them, and many training programs have made efforts to be more accessible given the Mental Health Shadow PandemicTM we’re all currently living under.

#advice about therapisting #mental health resources #suicide tw #staranise original #therapisting #no seriously just write them like #'i want to take this training but'#'I have no money and my friends are in crisis so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under'#see what discounts you get

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dailylouistomlinson · 2 years

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Hello!

We’ve been receiving a lot of the same kind of questions lately, so we’ve decided to create an about us/FAQ.

We will also post them here to make things easier:

We’re DailyLouisTomlinson, an account for updates on Louis Tomlinson and his career as a solo artist. We’ve been asked a few questions so we want to take a moment and answer them the best we can!

Who runs this account?

This account is run by solo louies. If more information is needed than that, feel free to DM us! As of currently however, there is only one admin. This is why some updates that take place in different time zones may be delayed from being posted, though changes are taking place soon!

Can I follow this account if I’m a fan of ____, ____, _____, etc?

This account is for any and all fans of Louis who are interested in his updates! We genuinely care about this being a safe space dedicated to loving and supporting Louis, there are no boundaries on those who fall under that category. That being said, we are also extremely dedicated to focusing on Louis as a solo artist. We do not post any One Direction-related updates or content, unless posted or mentioned by Louis himself. This includes unseen material or anniversary material unless the subject matter is only of Louis himself.

Do you have a tracking tag?

As of currently, no we do not. We love and appreciate content creators very much and our end goal is to become a place to boost Louis content. Due to the schedule of the admin however, it is too much to incorporate content with updates. This is set to change in the future, but for now we are strictly for updates!

Hey why wasn’t _____ posted? This person/brand mentioned Louis on Twitter, where is it?

Great question! We’ve noticed a trend lately with individuals or brands mentioning Louis on social media……but not in regard to new content or anything particularly pleasant. Unless directly related to Louis’ career (band members, team members, music industry folks), we do not consider these mentions updates! There are many other Louis update accounts on this website alone who will happily provide this content for you. Our main goal is to provide a safe space for Louies, with the most minimum amount of drama, negativity, and discourse. We also try our best to not post misinformation as we are aware of how quickly it can spread in this fandom, and what it can create.

Will you be posting tour content?

Absolutely! We plan on covering Louis’ full tour, including photos/videos/stream links and other related content that will be listed under specific tags.

Do you/can you tag triggers?

We are more than happy to tag triggers! The most common tag used on this account is for flashing lights, but feel free to send us a message if you prefer any other tags! Smoking and alcohol content are also tagged with a trigger warning.

Why am I blocked from an UA….?

This is also a great question! If you are blocked from our account, this is due to adding unnecessary, rude, or unrelated content to our posts which resulted in us receiving anonymous hate from either you or your followers. In the end, running this account is for fun! This is not a job, we are not getting paid, this is simply just a hobby. Behavior that impacts the mental health of our admins will not be tolerated, and you will happily be blocked ❤️

Lastly, thank you so much for the love and support for this account!! It brings us nothing but joy to see your interactions with our posts (and your tags that express so much love for Louis 🥰). We are so excited to watch this space grow! Feel free to message or DM us if there are any further questions ❤️

Faith in the Future 😉

#faq #about us

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firelxdykatara · 3 years

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Hello! I say this in the kindest way possible, but can you please provide evidence that theowelspeaks is a terf? I'm a black zutara shipper and for years have really felt shoved by the fandom and it hasn't been my safe space. But YOUR blog and you made me feel better. I'm not in your discord but you're being accused of racism. I don't follow the owlspeaks and wanna support you but if you're being accused of racism why are you calling someone a terf?

Can you please show where they are a terf? I'm only asking this because I really REALLY love you and I support you. And if they are a terf, you need to provide evidence. It is heavily suspicious when a person of color calls out a white woman on racism and you don't address the accusations but just call them a terf. I want to support you I really do because you made me feel comfortable in the fandom, but I need to see concrete evidence that they're a terf. Never mind, I saw the whole situation and honestly I'm disgusted I ever follow or looked up to you. You're literally no different from other racist white shippers. I think there went my love for zutara.

I'm going to take this at face value--not that, on any real level, I actually believe you were a follower of mine or did anything close to due diligence, because if you were or had then you would know that I never actually called that blogger a terf--and answer as respectfully as I can. Mostly because I want anyone who has genuine issues with anything I've said or done to know that despite whatever's going around about me right now, I am willing to listen to criticism if it comes from a place of good faith.

(You can think whatever you want about my insistence on 'good faith', but the fact is that I have weathered being slammed with accusations of pedophilia and other horrible things over differences in headcanon of shit like character ages or writing a fic set years post-canon because I felt like it, right down to the insistence that I'm a horrible racist because of my url, so no. I'm not going to listen to someone slinging slurs and buzzwords in my inbox just because they claim to be a poc. And before that sets anyone off, the slurs I'm talking about are aimed at my queerness. I do not consider being called racist or a white bitch or whatever slurs, because they aren't.)

First of all, once again, I never called that blogger a terf. You can easily read my post about them for yourself and see that--ctrl+F for the term 'terf', and you will not find it. Why? Because I called them out on peddling radfem rhetoric, (which they are) not for being a terf. All terfs are radfems--it's in the name--but not all radfems are terfs, although all radfem rhetoric is exceptionally harmful to queer people in general, and queer poc more than most, as is the nature of intersectionality.

Anti-kink rhetoric, and the insistence that some kink is inherently harmful and that no one could legitimately have these kinks or fetishes without being mentally ill or traumatized, is radfem rhetoric. That's where it comes from, that's where it leads to, and I'll be honest here, 'radfem' is not an identity label. It's an ideology. You do not get to parrot core tenets of that ideology and then claim to not be a radfem. That simply isn't how this works.

Furthermore, I have no idea who the person behind theowlspeaks blog is. I will take them at their word that they are not white, but that doesn't exactly narrow things down--and considering the fact that they chose to put me on blast for their small but dedicated ring of followers rather than actually coming to me personally first about any of this (their blog is very obviously a burner, and it wouldn't have been that difficult to approach me since I've only ever turned anon off once, for one night to give myself some breathing room, and otherwise my asks and DMs have always been open), I have no reason to actually care about what they're saying. But I point out the lack of knowledge of their identity because a) they didn't even reveal themselves as not white until.... yesterday? or something, when they were directly asked about it, and b) trying to frame this as 'white woman accused of racism calls person of color a terf' is... disingenuous at best given the fact that I have been calling them a radfem (which they are) since well before they posted that screenshot and my name wound up on their blog, so you got the order of events just a little backwards.

I blocked them initially because of the radfem rhetoric they were peddling about kink and fetishes, and I have the right to establish that boundary. This blog is for me, it is my space, and I do not have to expose myself to views I find gross or harmful just because they dress it up in faux-woke terminology and try to pretend they actually care.

If they cared about real people more than the fictional characters they are so adamantly 'protecting', then they wouldn't have brushed off the actual racism (from one of their followers--they're more than happy to blast me without any evidence, but that's hardly out of the ordinary for people like that) that was brought to their attention by refocusing the discussion on the fake people who literally can't be hurt by any of this because they don't exist. They wouldn't be ignoring the two woc who chose to contact them and tell them why they made the choices they did regarding both the discord and the smut week event, while being perfectly happy to platform anons who may or may not be who or what they say they are.

I, for one, am not going to apologize for caring more about real people than fictional characters. I'm not going to apologize for thinking it's absolutely ludicrous to pretend that fiction is somehow harmful just by existing, especially when it's appropriately tagged so that anyone who finds the content harmful can avoid it. I'm not going to back down from these opinions just because a handful of people have apparently decided I'm a horrible person because of it. And I'm certainly not going to apologize for thinking it's despicable that someone who was not involved in the conversation chose to leak out of context screenshots rather than privately contacting any of the people involved or even going to any of the mods, before going right to an anonymous blog. You may not care about me or my mental health, but I had panic attacks because of that leak--not because I said anything untoward in that screenshot, not because I've ever said anything in that discord that I wouldn't happily stand behind on my blog, but because I no longer felt safe. And I am not going to bare my trauma to a complete stranger to justify that lmfao.

So, like, think what you want to. I'm pretty sure that blogger is getting high off of the drama they are creating, none of which would actually have happened or been any real issue if more people were able to think, gee, maybe this work that is tagged with things I don't want to read about is not for me! Maybe I shouldn't read this piece, since it would probably upset me, and there's plenty others around for me to consume! I do not trust that blogger's intentions. I do not trust that they actually give a shit about any real people, or they wouldn't have posted an out of context screenshot of... literally nothing tbh, when they had no right to and are now protecting the identity of the person who leaked them instead of giving a shit about any of the real people in that space who no longer feel safe because we aren't sure who we can't trust.

But you've already made up your mind, and I can't change that. I genuinely hope you have a nice life, and find fandom spaces more suited to your tastes.

#Anonymous #asked #anon hate party #fandom racism #salt for ts #theowlspeaks discourse #idk what else to tag this #i'm not putting it in the zk tag cause there's been enough bs lately

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