#this is how i choose to cope with project moon news
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[日久见人心]
characters: present!chung myung + afab!she/her!reader
baek cheon x afab!she/her!reader
(implied and one-sided from the reader's end because they are not the main plot point for this fic lol)
summary: old habits die hard, even when you are born in a new body. to his credit, he does try not to seem like he is the reincarnation of the plum blossom sword saint, but his subconscious actions said otherwise. he didn't think you of all people would notice.
word count: 3.85k
author's note: the phrase 日久见人心 (rì jiǔ jiàn rén xīn) is part of the full saying 路遥知马力，日久见人心 (lù yáo zhī mǎ lì, rì jiǔ jiàn rén xīn) and i vaguely remember it was something my mother tongue teacher back in secondary said we could use in our composition essays or whatever,,,, and recently i saw it on those cringey rise-and-grind motivational crypto bro ig pages my ex-classmates are reposting on their stories which kinda gave me an idea lmao.... anyways the meaning of the quote is that we need to take time to understand a person's character (also the fic is the result of my caffeine overconsumption lol and not related to my previous cmxreader because i needed a break from all that angst romance i've been writing wwwwwwww)
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chung myung has been starting to think that you were cut out from the same cloth as yu iseol.
quiet, aloof and always watching.
if someone said that you both were twins, he wouldn't be surprised. but then again, there were differences. the most obvious one was that iseol had more talent with the blade than you did, and the other was that iseol had no talent in actually taking care of herself. you were barely managing, but compared to your senior sister? it was far more decent. the two of you had tang soso to thank for not dying as fast as you could have.
chung myung. bowl.
he looks up to see your hand outstretched, waiting to pick up the empty bowl he'd cleaned off long ago. chung myung grunts and hands it over, propping his arm up and resting his head on it as he watched you go around the dining hall to collect the dinnerware.
you lived in mount hua, sure, but you weren't the fighting sort. maybe because anything you did could get you sick — if the weather dropped or rose a little too quickly, your body would tremble and shiver. did you move a little too much today? did you happen to sleep later than you were supposed to that night? by the next morning you were down with a terrible fever that kept you in your room for the rest of the day. but now that tang soso was here, she would drag you down to the medicine hall, grumbling under her breath, all while you looked at her teary-eyed and apologetic.
maybe it was out of shame or embarrassment that made you try to be yourself useful in other ways, though you would often fail and cause more trouble. everyone would just sigh and pick up after your mess, ushering you out to do something else.
during those days, he'd find you hunched behind the baths, sobbing in frustration. chung myung didn't know what to do or say, he'd always talked more with his fist before his heart, so he'd end up hiding in the trees to watch over you instead. and once you've cried it all out, you would stand, wash your face and go to bed. trying something else tomorrow.
chung myung gives credit where credit was due. for a sickly kid, you sure had a thicker skin than the others.
eventually, you stuck with being the cleaner. your weird, meticulous habits somehow working well in this job. the cups and plates were wiped till it shone, silverware were polished until you could see your own face and that hard-to-scrub dirt on the grout would be pristine and white when left in your hands. chung myung wonders secretly if maybe you'd picked this talent up from that neat freak baek cheon.
what are you thinking about?
he almost hits you out of instinct. you really were cut from the same cloth as yu iseol.
he lets out a shaky breath as he turns to face you, who had been sitting behind him. you look at him owlishly and he would have thought you weren't breathing if not for the movement of your nostrils. crossing his leg over the other, he juts his chin at you in acknowledgement.
what is it?
you're quieter, and thinking a lot more than normal today.
ah... this kid... how does everything that comes out of that mouth sound like an insult? chung myung tries to reign in his short temper, he didn't want to hit a frail person for no reason, and he knows that you just happen to always talk like that.
hm. i was thinking about you.
woah. pervert.
ah... maybe he should hit your head just once. just once and he'll never hit you again.
i'm kidding.
really? were you now?
i'm really kidding, don't go and look like you're going hit me like you do with our senior brothers.
okay, you were off the hook. for now.
hmph. you shouldn't tease your elders.
what elder.
chung myung forgets that you were the same age as him. well, in this body, not spiritually. but if he were to talk about life experience and reincarnation, he was the older one but fuck! you didn't know that! he didn't tell anyone he was the plum blossom sword saint ugh!
chung myung, are you going to have an aneurysm?
shut up!
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winter in mount hua was really cold. and chung myung, surprisingly, didn't do so well with the cold. though, he would rather die than let anyone ever find out about that.
he wakes up early to train as usual, but the cold this morning was so biting, he was tempted to just stay in bed, it wasn't easy being an old man. ah, but the other disciples would be celebrating if he didn't appear for morning practice and that was no good. after all, the future of the sect still depended on him, didn't it?
he got dressed and stepped out of his room —
chung myung.
fuck! couldn't you talk to people like a normal person? why do you love to sneak up on people like this? cheong mun sa-hyung please, please, please give him patience and strength.
you look cold.
he was! great observation! chung myung wants to yell that to you with gritted teeth. he was still, unfortunately, very unnerved by how he couldn't feel your presence.
follow me. i have something for you.
you didn't wait for him to reply, instead grabbing his hand as you dragged him to the kitchen. he didn't try to resist, letting you pull him wherever, like a parent going to see what their child just found.
the two of you walk across the training grounds that had been buried under a blanket of pristine snow, the dim light of your paper lantern showing you the way. treading past and leaving two sets of footprints behind.
you push him into the kitchen, hanging the lantern up on a hook in the wall. chung myung notices the fire in the stone stove, you had already started it before going out to find him, probably because you were boiling something in that pot standing over the fire. chung myung sits on the ground, huddling before the blaze, it felt warm and comforting in the kitchen. the sound of water boiling in the pot and the crackling of the charred wood its heat blowing across his frigid face was, unsurprisingly, giving him a boost of energy.
you carefully move the pot to the side, removing the lid to check the contents in it. looking pleased with the result, you take out a bowl still steaming into your hands and placed it on the ground between you and chung myung as quickly as you could.
he looks over curiously. it looked like some kind of pudding, he doesn't think he's seen it before —
it's milk pudding, with lotus seeds and almonds
oh? he pondered, eyeing the bowl as you handed him a spoon.
aren't these ingredients used to make mooncakes?
chung myung asks, folding his arms. he notices that you were avoiding his gaze. don't tell him you...?
did you steal these from the warehouse?
hey! steal is a strong word!
oh i'm sorry, your highness, did you perhaps take the ingredients from the fucking warehouse?
he scoffed mockingly, exaggerating his manner of speech in mild irritation. he laughed at your grimace and pouty expression. ah, he feels like he's making fun of a toddler, he should be ashamed for bullying a kid at his age.
hm, he hasn't done something this juvenile in a long time. it was oddly nostalgic, in a way. he mused, digging into the soft and smooth surface of the pudding with the spoon, trying to scoop up the lotus seeds and almonds in it too.
mmh. 's not bad.
wow, i didn't know you knew how to compliment people
should i take that back then?
i'm sorry.
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you had been working hard in cleaning the floors for spring cleaning. but the boys were so heavy-footed and honestly far too uninterested in their surroundings that the well-polished wooden floorboards you were really proud of was always dusty.
should you just barricade the entrance of the dorms until nightfall? just so they wouldn't walk all over your hard work?
you sit on the steps, your hair tied into a scarf, head resting on the propped broom you held between your legs. thinking long and hard over your predicament while looking over at the training grounds where chung myung was drilling down on everyone else.
the sun hung high in the cloudless afternoon sky, its rays casting down on the compound harshly. you were beginning to feel dizzy and closed your eyes, hoping to relieve the pain growing in your head.
you didn't hear anything outside the constant ringing in your ears, so one can only imagine your surprise when the reddish tint you saw while your eyes were closed grew dark.
who?
you cracked open your eyes to try and make out the person standing before you, wincing when the bright light nearly blinded you.
a familiar chuckle graced your ears as the ringing grew quiet. ah, it was senior baek cheon.
he taps the bamboo flask against your forehead, the water in it swishing against the walls. you take it, grateful, chugging down the contents, choking on it a little when a few drops went down the wrong pipe.
hey, hey... slow down... no one's going to take it away from you...
you cough, turning away in embarrassment. baek cheon sits down next to you on the steps, watching your antics in quiet amusement. you didn't want to look at him, not when he was practically topless, with his hair tied up high and swept over his shoulder.
chung myung looks at the scene from afar, not really clocking anything in his mind until he sees the way you were trying to scoot a little further away like a snail touching salt and your hands covering up your cheeks.
oh.
oh?
so you and baek cheon huh?
chung myung feels the cogs in his brain turn. at times like these he wishes he had someone to talk about this with, maybe tang bo. he would have loved to hear about petty gossip like this, and they could have teased the kids like the old men they were.
so you think something is going on between her and baek cheon sasuk too, huh?
jo-gul's voice comes up from behind, and chung myung didn't need to look over to see the guy's eyes trained on his targets.
if you have so much free time to discuss other people's love lives, i think we can continue with our training right, sahyungs?
chung myung called out loudly for everyone to hear.
jo-gul you fucking bastard!
you and your big mouth...
ugh... i can't get up...
the poor guy could only hang his head in quiet embarrassment. baek cheon laughed at the antics of the others, getting up to walk back to the training grounds. but not before he reached out to tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear.
if you're going to rest, do it in the shade. i don't think you want to fall ill again tomorrow, do you?
he asks, and you shake your head in response.
mmh. i'll see you around?
see you...
you wave meekly as he left, your insides going through an entire acrobatics routine. wondering what that short exchange was all about. it couldn't be that he liked you back? or did he catch onto your growing crush? you wanted to throw yourself off the cliff.
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i didn't take you for a guy that had habits like this.
chung myung gulped down the last of the warm water in his cup, setting it down on the counter, and looked at you quizzically. your elbows were propped up over the edge of the counter and you were perched on the stool in a rather un-ladylike manner.
it's good for your health you know.
psh... isn't that an old wives tale?
he scoffs and shakes his head.
haah...
he sighs.
the young people these days.
you look at him, head tilted in confusion. humming for a bit, you let your thoughts simmer before you decided to pose the question.
hey, why'd you speak like that?
chung myung pauses.
like what?
you know... like an old man?
he sucks in a quick breath. there was no way you of all people would have figured it out, right?
he felt like he was spiralling into a bit of a panic.
hey.
you snap your fingers in his face, moving to stand beside him while he was deep in thought.
earth to chung myung?
he looks at you.
he takes a good look at you.
you were not the brightest bulb in the bush, or however that saying goes, at least when compared to him. there was no way you connected the dots and figured out he was the plum blossom sword saint. yeah, this was for sure a case of the right formula and the wrong answer.
he had to divert your thoughts before you start to think deeper.
i think i hear baek cheon sasuk coming over.
huh?
it was your turn to panic a little, and he darts out of the kitchen to escape what would have been your incoming torrent of scrutiny. you realise just then that you had been completely bamboozled by the bastard chung myung.
running to the door, you yell out a string of curses at the run-away instigator. ah, your blood pressure...
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you think chung myung might have been raised by old people. because there was no other plausible reason that he acts the way he does.
sometimes he walks with his hands behind his back, and while most people your age would stand straight and position their arms in a stiff way, chung myung puts his hands on his lower back — like he was supporting it. you know who else does this? the sect leader and the other elders. and it doesn't help his case that he was always slouching a little.
another thing you notice was how his taste in food was a few notches blander than the rest of you. he wasn't fond of anything too salty or sour or anything undercooked. he'd always pick out the softest parts of any cooked meat, saying it was the juiciest, which was somewhat believable. but then wasn't it also nearest to where the animals organs used to be before it was gutted? wouldn't it taste bitter?
speaking of bitter, chung myung liked to eat food that made you squeamish. he'd nag at the nutritional value of them and when nobody wanted to try it out, he'd mumble something about kids these days not knowing what's good for them and scarf it down by himself.
that was another thing about him, why was he always calling you a kid when you were the same age as him? it wasn't that big of a deal for you. but calling the other seniors kids? you wondered if it was his way of showing his martial superiority in a twisted way, or if it was another underlying reason.
surely, it must be because he was raised by the elderly.
god, you were so smart, weren't you? connecting the dots like that?
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chung myung was sure you were dropped on the head as an infant.
you had cornered him in the toilets. broke down and the door and everything, just to ask him who he was raised by. it was ridiculous, the scene that was folding out right then and he chooses to ignore that your weak body had somehow broken down a fucking wooden door. he has to ignore that, for his own sanity.
you were on the walls, hands clawing and feet digging on the rough surface. chung myung shirks away, exasperated. somewhere in the afterlife, he thinks he could hear the loud cackle of his friends at his predicament.
chung myung.
he tries to evade eye contact.
chung myung.
oh man, look at that spider on the ceiling spinning a web.
hey where are you looking? i'm over here.
he finally looks at you turning his head slowly.
uh... i think... you might be a bit too close...
a bit too close was a forgiving statement. your head had craned forward far enough that your face was almost less than a centimetre away from his.
you lean back at his reply. still not keeping your eyes off him. after all, he still hadn't answered your question.
you know that i'm an orphan... right?
yeah. so am i.
i wasn't raised by anybody...
oh.
you step back, pondering for a moment. chung myung feels the breath he was holding leave his lungs. you caused him so much anxiety. remember when he thought you were cut from the same cloth as yu iseol? he stands corrected, but you were insane in the opposite direction.
okay. so who raised you?
chung myung feels his eye twitch. why were you asking the same thing? he already told you!
i'm telling you—!
nuh-uh. that's not what i want to know. i want to know if you grew up with old people.
then you should have asked that from the beginning!
i panicked, okay?
he sighs, deeply, and covers his face in his hands. he feels his miraculous second life leaving his body at this exchange.
to answer your question. no, i didn't.
huh. i see.
you answer simply.
chung myung peeks at you through his fingers, surprised at your unusual silence. you, on the other hand, had grown more confused by his answer. if he hadn't been raised by the elderly, then how would anybody act the way he did? not to mention, he had knowledge of niche historical facts that nobody other than a person living in that time would have known of.
can i go now?
huh? oh yeah... sure...? oh! wait—!
you had answered too absentmindedly! you weren't done questioning him! shit! the slippery bastard had gotten away!
you jog out the door, only to bump into someone when turning a corner. a pair of arms catch you from falling. looking up you were met with baek cheon's worried gaze, which morphed into confusion when he realized at the same time as you did that you had ran out of the boys' toilets.
uh... wait... i can explain...
you wondered if a lighting bolt could strike down in broad daylight.
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you were sulking in the kitchen.
the guy you had a somewhat infatuation with caught you in an embarrassing moment. you had convinced yourself all chances you had with him were ruined. this was all chung myung's fault. every time you had the slightest inconvenience you would secretly curse him out a little in your heart. you used to feel bad when you still had a working conscience, but not anymore though.
speak of the devil, and he comes walking in.
chung myung came in to ransack the cellar behind the kitchen for wine. he had been craving it for the past few days after his own stash ran out. he had waited for everyone else to be asleep before sneaking in as quietly as he could.
so one can only imagine the shock he felt, even though he swears he had already seen it all, when he finds your shadowy figure sitting crossed-legged on the counter and your two eyes staring right back at him in the darkness.
keugh—!
chung myung bites back a scream. fuck! can he please have one, one. peaceful day where you didn't fuck around with his psyche?
you didn't know he was coming in so soon. but you didn't care much since you had something to give him anyway.
shoving the lacquer box engraved with floral designs into his chest, you motion for him to take a look inside. chung mying complied, hesitantly lifting off the lid to find rows of thin mooncakes, without the egg yolks probably, and another layer under that was filled with a flaky-looking biscuit.
it's called tau sar piah.
he hums, taking the round ball out to inspect it. shrugging, he popped it into his mouth and chews down on the pastry. the flavour, it was familiar. he thinks, was it—?
dried mung bean paste?
you nodded, grinning.
what's this for though?
don't tell me you forgot.
forget? what did he forget?
it's your birthday you goon. well, in a few hours but still.
oh. he had forgotten, momentarily. you really were a good kid, remembering this old man's birthday and making something for him. shit, chung myung thinks he might tear up. was this what it was like to have grandchildren? he thinks he understands why cheong mun sa-hyung might have suggested he take on disciples of his own, or well, trusted him enough to babysit the children of the sect back then. ugh, he was a grandfather after all, and you were somehow his most troublesome child.
he sniffles. closing the lid on the box and grabbing the wine. well, it would be lonely to eat all of this on his own, and waking up the others would be too much of a hassle. suppose you would make do as his drinking buddy tonight. hooking an arm under your knees, he slings you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. the other grabbing the food and drink.
he jumps on the roofs until he brings you to a spot where the moon felt the closest. he drops you on your feet as you balance yourself on the uneven shingles. chung myung plopped down, leg crossed over the other, as he began to down the wine straight from the bottle.
he hands you the lid of the box, picking out the mooncake and biting into it.
wow. tastes kinda ass.
ugh, ungrateful much?
i never said i wouldn't eat it.
can't you just say your appreciation like a normal person?
a pause.
...thank you.
chung myung replied in a softer voice.
hmph. see? that wasn't so hard?
you huffed, teasing him.
chung myung only scoffed and rolled his eyes.
the night drudged on, and you spent the time talking about everything and nothing. things that happened that week, gossip you've heard, events that had happened in the past, antics of the other sect members...
chung myung feels his eyelids grow heavy. was it alright to rest his grieving heart for a while on his birthday? cheong mun sa-hyung and the others' surely wouldn't mind.
and as he feels himself drifting off to sleep, your voice quips up.
hey, do you think i should confess to sasuk?
psh—!
chung myung spits out the wine in his mouth, choking on the liquid that went up and out his nose. it felt as though he was vomiting out blood from that question alone.
you were really his most troublesome kid.
#enihkwrites#return of the mount hua sect#return of the blossoming blade#return of mount hua#cheong myeong#chung myung#rotmhs#rotbb#can yall tell who my favourite hwasan boy is lol#i have another chung myung x reader fic that im currently marinating (angst possibly no comfort)#all i can say is that its a “what if?” scenario where he survives his injuries but chooses not to go back to mount hua#btw my cycle started... i guess that explains all the angst ive been cooking the past few days huh#reader's health issues might have been my self-insert unconsciously djhfsfkjsjklhsadkkkkk#i read scholarly articles for the history of almond imports#this is how i choose to cope with project moon news#im so drained i can't have shit man
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def not me projecting my issues rn but i can’t help but think about being in a horrendous mood and kevin helping me just fuck it away. you’re pissed as hell and you barge into his room, grab him by the collar, and smash your lips against his. “i’ll make you forget all your problems, princess.” he just fucks you so roughly that you can’t think, all you can do is hiss at the pleasure. is that a healthy coping mechanism? obviously not but kevin moon is here to help
— 🌿
KEVIN WNJD FNG OH GOD BRO
Em and i were talking about it earlier how kevin is the member with like the second most stable mentality in tbz. like mans would know how to take care of you and does it WELL
and im 100 percent projecting my very personal issues here but he’d use his dick, his hands and his mouth on you so good that your brain actually reboots and your entire body breaks and reforms into a whole new entity
he’d clean you up so nice first, getting all the nooks and crannies that he knows he was manhandling to hell and back beforehand. massages your body delicately til most of the sore spots vanish into thin air– sore spots that exist because his keen hands can’t help but grip like a vice to make you ride his cock even if you’re laying down
he’d moisturise the places his hands and hips bruised, places left burning under the palm of his hands, places where his teeth found purchase in your muscles to nip and bite
then he’d tuck you in beg, letting you choose between cuddling him to sleep or snuggle against him as you watcha movie that you both fall asleep halfway into. yes.
#adonisspeaks#{my lovely 🌿}#the boyz scenarios#the boyz hard hours#tbz hard hours#tbz scenarios#tbz soft hours#the boyz soft hours#kevin moon soft hours#kevin hard hours#kevin moon scenarios#kevin moon hard hours#kevin moon imagines
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WHAT WILL HAPPEN FOR ME IN 5 YEARS😍 (CAREER + LOVE)
Choose the pile that sparks a memory for you. It has your answers
1. WAXING CRESCENT MOON
I'm sorry to tell you darling but in 5 years, things are quite rocky in regards to school or career. But since these are minor arcana, it won't take away so much of your life. With Ace of Swords in reverse, at the start you will likely still be in the same position as you are right now or previous years. If you're now in high school or middle school, you're going to move to the same quality of school. The same with your job. Here's the point. In that place, there is going to be disharmony between you and those people in regards to misunderstandings between you and friends. Most likely these will be felt so much during group projects. So in school or college, you may have a hard time getting team members who help you out during group projects and at work, your coworkers will not really understand what you want them to do or the suggestions that you give to them in regards to work. This will make you feel trapped because you feel people don't wanna cooperate with you and you will feel that you have to fight alone throughout these projects all this time. You will feel not appreciated by them and a lot of time too you will feel alone meanwhile people seem to be working well in groups. So be wary about that, keep in mind about this. This is just a life cycle. You are being reminded to believe in the impossible. Yes things are sticky at first but you are going to be able to find the ways out. So in terms of you not being able to cooperate with your friends or coworkers, you either will have your skills elevated so that you don't need much help from them or there will be unexpected help for you so it will help you get through the task. Overall it'll benefit you in some ways although it's painful at first.
In regards to love, there will be a new man in your life. This man unfortunately will cause you sadness, confusions, and fears. This man will leave you feeling deserted as if you are not enough for them. This man is a young man who has fire placement (Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius) and he's an active person. He has a grand vision of himself and loves to achieve something in his life so he'll make plans to achieve his goals. He's also in touch with his intuition so he's also touchy in his feelings and most likely will always take decisions based on what his heart says. You and him are going to be official which means it's not going to be situationship or anything. You are warned here that things will not be good for you at first because it'll challenge you with your sense of self. There will be sadness in terms of this relationship. But the good thing is the challenge and sadness will only be there at first. After those challenges, there will be happiness. You are going to feel fulfilled in this relationship. Overall as we have seen that both your career or school and love will be rocky, the intention here is for your transformation especially regarding your love. You are asked here to reevaluate your sense of self in regards to how you see yourself and really have to see how much capacity you have for loving yourself. Perhaps before this, you haven't truly loved yourself like yes you love yourself for parts but only the good parts. But you still reject the bad parts of you. Through this relationship, you are being challenged to accept yourself as a whole. No more rejecting the parts of you that you are dissatisfied with. You are asked to embody all parts of you and even if you feel dissatisfied with yourself, you are advised to accept yourself as a whole and also do something to enhance the part of you that you dislike. So in terms of physical appearances, you can go to beauty salons, do skincare, workout, makeup, choose good clothes. Anything that makes you feel more beautiful. So you'll be transformed both in physical and inner lives. At the end, you will feel fulfilled as throughout these challenges, you are able to transform yourself through problems that occur in your school, work, and relationship which lead you to a better version of yourself. Check your natal chart to see if in 5 years from now, Pluto will form an aspect to your inner placements (Sun, Moon, Rising, Mercury, Venus, or Mars) or it will be in angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, or 10th) or 8th house. You should check if your Saturn also forms aspects to your inner placements or in angular houses. This will give more explanations on how you cope with that. For example if you have Aquarius Venus, in five years Pluto may have conjunct your Venus which means both of your love life and career will be transformative for you and although it's painful, it'll make you reevaluate how you approach those fields and thus push you to make changes.
2. WANING MOON
In 5 years, your school or career will be amazing. If you are still at school, you're going to get so many achievements or recognitions. Say you join many competitions that make you achieve trophies, certificates, or even money. You are going to collect those accolades and even may have your own dedicated space to put all those trophies or certificates in. So when you go to that space, you'll remember these are what you have gained. Clearly you are going to parade on your achievements by looking at those accolades and making them in the closest position possible to you. Those accolades will be tied so much to you. Wherever you go, people will recognize you. Ohhh this is a student who won that competition or this is a student who got many honors. Your identity will be tied so much to your achievements. If you're working, similar things will happen to you. That you are going to get many recognitions like the best worker or someone who initiates the pivotal change to the company or place where you work
Continue read:
3. NEW MOON IN TAURUS
Things in 5 years are looking good for you. In regards to school or career, you'll get your dream. The thing is in order for you to get this dream about school or career, this dream relies so much on a woman. If you are a woman, then it means whether you achieve your dream or not depends on you. But if you are a man or other genders, whether you achieve your dream or not depends on your mom or other female figure in your family.
Continue read here:
PSA: For some reasons, Tumblr doesn't let me post a long read. Which is why I make a link to redirect to the rest of the readings. Hopefully you don't mind❤
#pick a card reading#witchblr#tarot reading#lenormand#oracle#tarot#free reading#free tarot reading#pick a pile#pick a pile reading#intuitive reading#free intuitive reading#divination community#divination#pick a card
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Pisces Sun and Moon Combinations
Planets represent different energetic principals in the life of an individual – the signs show what filter these energies express through.
Having an inner planet (or luminary) in the sign of Pisces gives the personality receptivity, a boundless quality. No matter what other placements the person has, the passive and intuitive nature is going to come through.
To simplify;
The Sun represents individuation, ideal self-expression and conscious self-actualization.
The Moon represents instinct, emotional nature and personal needs.
Pisces Sun – Virgo Moon
The personal path of self-actualization is trailed with surrender. There’s great sensitivity, which if kept within a limited ego-structure threaten to drown the person. Life might seem threatening and vicious, there’s a desire to up-hold the belief in love but when adversity gets too real, the person might snap in the name of preserving goodness. The person is unwilling to forgive certain things, but they’re also incapable of holding toxic grudges for long. It does nothing but to prolong suffering and Pisces Suns can’t stand to be in atmosphere of friction. They are very forgiving in their evolved state, however, if they’re not, they might justify cruel behavior by reinterpreting it as mercy or care. “This person needs to learn a lesson and I am going to be the good person to teach them” might be the attitude. Needless to say, it can turn extremely manipulative. The personal comfort are very much dependent on keeping one’s life in check. The person craves order and puts faith in the intellectual faculties to feel in control. Getting one’s life on track is a pressing need, which is not a bad thing unless the details gain utmost importance and the big picture is lost. The person is more likely to trust people who are efficient and willing to adapt – it’s how they show their care and how they would choose to be nurtured in turn. Although there’s a tendency to get bogged down in the mundane and day-to-day routines, a proclivity to focus on what must be put in order - there’s also an awareness of the vast backdrop of the undifferentiated realm. The person might turn critical and nit-picky when needs aren’t met, but the overall personality is soft and giving. There’s great compassion for the self in it’s limited scope and ideally an understanding of the transcendent realm. The person might be a diligent worker but prone to get overwhelmed and stressed. Crowds, disorderly environments and chaos would take a toll on the emotional integrity but the person might keep quiet about it and be a bit ashamed to admit to this kind of sensitivity. Confusion makes the person feel very uneasy and unsafe emotionally, but in terms of identity it’s fine for them to be less concrete, more diffuse and undifferentiated. Personality wise, the person is more of an artist. Instinctively, the person is more of an intellectual.
Pisces Sun – Sagittarius Moon
Emotionally, there’s restlessness and a need to move about, to try out new things and experience as much as possible. While there’s a hot and fiery temperament to this individual, the overall personality wants to get lost and to be immersed in life as intimately as possible. The person throws themselves into experiences that hold the promise of consumption and freedom. The two might seem incompatible and to a certain extent they are. On the one hand there’s the transcendent perspective of everything being unreal and therefore equally worthy of reverence – the world is beautiful no matter what state is in and one sees no need to judge or define. On the other, the spirit sees potential for expansion and is not satisfied with passivity. Life is important and it should be pursued passionately through the highs and the lows. There’s definitely some friction that is felt within the person relative to these things. One is a passive victim but the victimhood is not void of meaning. There’s an optimist that lives within and it insist on adopting a casual attitude. The person craves constant movement and stimulation; they won’t sit around and dwell for long. There’s more to discover and find beyond the horizon. Having a good time and engaging in exciting activities is a must with a Sagittarius Moon – there must be something to look forward to, there has to be plans for trips, events or future happenings. With this combo, the person is prone to live in their bubble – to emotionally latch on to things and crave stimulation. It could easily be taken overboard if there’s no inner factor that works for caution and restriction. The person would want to take a large mouthpiece of life, to devour it with arrogance yet looking a bit zoned out while it’s all carried out. In general, Pisces Suns could benefit for surrounding themselves with more fixed or cardinal individuals to ground them and provide direction occasionally since they tend to plunge the emotional depths quite often. That being said, Pisces is really the sign that contains everything and is too mutable to get to. This is a great strength as much as it’s a great weakness. If one is can learn accommodate for separateness and unity at the same time one is on the right track.
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Pisces Sun – Pisces Moon
The person is the embodiment of a lucid dream. Looking into their eyes would be like looking into a deep well. Things are moving in the depths, they shift from dark to light yet one can see a mirrored image of the clouds in the sky on surface because it’s so reflective. There’s gentleness and softness and naiveté to the person, but somehow the thick mists of something else comes through. There’s unpredictability and a subtle uncertainty about the person. “Such a sweet person can’t hurt a fly” some would say, and ultimately they would be right – in a dream scape nothing can really be hurt because nothing is real. However, in a dream that feels very real to many people (physical reality), it is possible to experience real pain. This is where this person can cause real harm because they seek to merge. Sometimes it’s not the overt confrontations that are the most deadly, it’s the suffocating enmeshment labeled “love” that can passively and aggressively drown people out. A lot of covertly violent behavior can be justified through the Piscean lens although it’s usually unconscious. On a more positive note, the connection to the personal and collective unconscious could translate into inspired works of art. The person could be skilled at accurately reflecting the emotions of the times and provide humanity with something that is helpful and insightful. The person might think of himself or herself as more of a channeling vessel and avoiding taking individual credit for things that flow through. The logic of this person might not be completely comprehensible to people with a predominant intellectual temperament, but that doesn’t mean that the person isn’t intelligent. Intelligence is not exclusively reserved to the intellect. The intuitive abilities are likely very strong and they could be extremely informative and rich in value. One should be aware of confusing fantasies, feelings and projections with real intuitive guidance though. There’s likely to be a progression in navigating the emotional realm over time. Learning what to trust could be difficult, but the more the person self-actualizes throughout life, the surer one becomes. World-weariness and a longing for something ultimately true could prevail throughout life. There’s a feeling of having come to an end after many lifetimes, and one might finally be able to let go of all attachments to existence.
Pisces Sun – Gemini Moon
The emotional nature craves interaction with the environment. Without being able to engage in an intellectual exchange the person feels dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Having the opportunity to have fun and communicate with people is what lies at the core of the person’s emotional well-being. Mentally stimulating subjects or people are high up on the priority list whether the person knows it or not. The best solution to emotional discomfort according to the person could be to just change the subject, distract oneself or hang out with others to avoid being alone and isolated. Mental movement is what the person thinks keeps them afloat, but it’s really just an avoidance tactic. Over time the person would hopefully learn to be comfortable with solitude. The overall personality is quite receptive and absorbing which makes overload a likely situation. The person might try to cope by rationalizing and intellectualizing experiences, but with a Pisces Sun, it won’t work. The person’s path of individuation is supposed to go in the direction of feeling, of empathy and a genuine appreciation of all of life. This might prove a bit contradictory to the intellectual temperament, which is inclined to live life through keeping active and occupied with playing little tricks and making little jokes. The person’s emotional nature is the personification of a “naughty teenager” – too young to have any moral compass yet is fully capable to using the mind to get what they want. The double mutable combo makes it difficult for the person to define himself or herself definitely; life is movement, whether it’s mental or emotional. Life is not only in constant fluctuation, it is also double-sided and multi faceted. The person might have many faces within to choose from. Closeness could be a dilemma since the emotional nature is a bit wary of permanent binds that can grow stagnant while the path of self-actualization calls for intimacy and unconditional love. The conscious identity might claim that “I see myself in you and I want to be with you”, while the more unconscious lunar needs might recoil from the statement and find it too sentimental. The person might experience a dynamic where the more romantic identity is constantly criticized by an inner voice of sarcasm a wit. This could be very frustrating. In general, the person is very sensitive to the words of others in particular and the thoughts that run through the mind.
Pisces Sun – Taurus Moon
This combo produces a serene and deep personality. The basic needs revolve around being able to control one’s physical environment, to create comfort and sensory satisfaction for oneself. Being a good and solid physical entity in the world is what the person craves emotionally. Personality wise, the person is a dreamer, a soul before a body, and a soul before a thought. One might not derive a sense of self from one’s material welfare or stability, but it is certainly a pressing need in the person’s life. Identity wise, the person is quite passive as is characteristic of Pisces, but this doesn’t mean that he or she is weak. There’s a romanticism and idealism to the person that has an enchanting effect on the environment – people are drawn to the sweetness and innocence of the intangible that the person represents. A Taurus Moon loves to feel attractive, maybe not for their emotions but for their body and physical presence. Never the less it works well on both levels. Taurus likes to be in control of value and Pisces appreciates anything remotely close to an epic love encounter. The person is likely very sensual and feminine. There would be a stubborn streak imbedded in the adaptable and receptive personality, a need to live a simple but an honest life with integrity. This might work well with the path of self-actualization if the person can allow themselves to lean on others sometimes and not carry the load of living all by themselves. Instinctively, there’s the tendency to take control and be possessive and demonstrative. It’s wise to let intuition be one’s guide occasionally and not get blinded by routine. The art that this person should develop is to shift and change without fear, to allow for unscheduled breakthroughs and breakdowns and roll with them. It might make the person uncomfortable, but it is necessary to not get stuck in resistance. Too strong of an identification with the body and tangible reality could make the person cut off from the psychic realm and one might have to consciously work on opening up one’s eyes to the richness of the unconscious. On the flip side, too much identification with the psychic realm could make the person indifferent to instinctual needs and prone to gloss over the importance of physical safety.
Pisces Sun – Leo Moon
The instinctual nature is bold, dramatic and attention seeking. There’s a lot of energy to the emotional nature that doesn’t escape anyone’s notice. Pride and stubbornness could show up occasionally when the mood hits, otherwise the emotions are warm and inclusive. Everyone should be invested in one’s emotional happenings, in this person’s opinion, but it is rarely the case so the last resort is to demand attention. The person will feel very uncomfortable in his or her emotional displays because it is not what is sought or idealized. The identity is thriving of off embodying the undifferentiated, the background to the foreground. It’s a passive identity that stems from seeing the whole in the limited and loving the limited just as much as the whole. The egocentric drama of the emotional nature is too bold and dominant for the Piscean identity, it’s out of place and incongruent with the path of individuation. The personal needs are, however, not able to change or compromise. They’re impossible to suppress or reject without making the whole individual suffer, which is why the loving attitude of a Pisces Sun will have to accommodate for the need to stir things up, exaggerate and create a fuss around the emotional fluctuations. Emotions are very personal to this individual – preferably, the world should revolve around them. It’s important to develop a mature sense of self since the emotional nature will remain the equivalent of a child with a god complex that likes to boast about personal talents and skills. With detachment and compassion one can parent one’s emotional needs and give them healthy outlets. This combo lends itself to creativity, romance and artistry – perhaps even showmanship. The person craves entertainment and it would be a great way to satisfy the Piscean preference for fantasy and other-worldliness. One should be aware of the proclivity to use play and enjoyment as an escape – overindulging is never a good idea. That being said, it’s ok to live through one’s creations and be guided through inspiration. Beautiful creations that are emotionally and energetically potent could emanate if there’s enough room in the person’s life for spontaneity and feeling.
Pisces Sun – Scorpio Moon
The identity is striving toward transcendence and divine bliss. It’s a private and personal journey undoubtedly, the Scorpio nature has a strong self-focus of protection which would serve to isolate the person somewhat. Shutting the blinders to the world and retreating into an inner cave is what this person would prefer to do. The world might seem tough and inhospitable, yet it is loved immensely because one can’t bear to invest in fear over “God”. However, on a more unconscious, emotional level, there’s nothing that doesn’t justify attack to this person. The instinctual nature is quite primitive in it’s expression and might demand control. If the person isn’t aware of this side of themselves, the instinctual needs of power might disguise itself as a honorable quest for peace when it’s really just about achieving immunity to life. A Scorpio Moon is never invested in something out of purely altruistic motives – the fear of being used, abused and deceived is too great. This fear compels them to want to get the upper hand by “decoding” the complexity of reality, to see through the façade of innocence as to uncover the dirt underneath. No one is fully trusted which might cause him or her to turn to life (God, the universe, the divine) itself as an abstract source for comfort. A Pisces Sun has a predominately romantic outlook on life, whereas the Scorpio Moon leans in the direction of suspicion and apprehension. Emotional overwhelm is not unlikely but rather than it being wholly used for surrender it would could act as fuel for resentment and hatred. The person is likely to have little patience with ignorant and thoughtless people who think they have the “right” to behave however they want. There’s something ruthlessness about the person that might not surface until there’s actual danger present. There’s immense bravery and cold-headedness in crises. Outside of situations that require immediate action there’s a sweet personality that can be a bit shy, introverted and appreciative of solitude. There’s a great capacity for emotional endurance and resiliency that shouldn’t be underestimated. There’s dedication and seriousness to the lofty quest for eternity and love.
Pisces Sun – Aquarius Moon
There’s a whole other world outside of convention, and this is where this person can be found – up in the clouds and down in the depths of the ocean. What the mundane and human has to offer is not really worth much in and of itself, it’s nice to look upon as a phenomenon, but it’s not what is ultimately treasured. There can be appreciation for the mundane, but only in the light of a higher quest. Everything is divine creation and life is beautiful, but it can also feel like physical life is an exile from perfection and a separation from an original source. Emotionally, there’s a kind of general intimacy that is felt with the human condition. Everyone goes through the same thing more or less and the shared experience is beautiful – with sufficient analysis and understanding of one’s needs there’s nothing that can’t be overcome and used as raw material for progression. Feelings are abstract with this person and are not used for the purpose of creating an identity. Paradoxically, the instinct is quite intellectual and feelings are processed from the standpoint of a mental ideal rather than expressed with the backing of identity. The person can come off as cool and detached while delivering all sorts of preachy speech about how things ought to be, ideally. There’s little room for imperfection, and even if there are imperfections they are coolly understood from a distance. The mental plane is never personal, although it accommodates for the personal. The overall path of individuation is trailed with the longing for redemption. The instinct would be to look to society and people to find where things might have gone wrong, but one should take care as to not blindly choose a scapegoat or be too quick to judge something as bad just because it doesn’t fit with one’s idea of bliss. The person has a lot of compassion and love to offer, but it might be done from a more global identification rather than a personal one. The person would definitely be more comfortable on a general level rather than a personal and intimate level. However, even if love is expressed in person, it’s a universal love that is more of a symbol than actual feeling. The person might find that emotions are creating moods that color the person’s whole reality. They’re more like big waves than little tides and there’s no choice but to surrender to them and navigating from a space of allowing. Fighting won’t do this person any good and there’s probably an intuitive knowing that this is the case.
Pisces Sun – Capricorn Moon
There’s something very calming about this combo, even though it will have it’s stressors and overwhelms. The person is self-actualizing through loosing the rigid boundaries of the ego structure and being intuitively guided through life without imposing a separate sense of self. This doesn’t come without it’s challenges because if there’s ego left, there will be the perception of having to make sacrifices in the name of love and overall goodness. However, there’s the potential for being led through life seamlessly if conscious surrender can be achieved, without there being any hate directed at physical and psychic boundaries. In truth, the limited that appears in the unlimited is not really limited at all. Even though there’s receptiveness and softness to the personal identity, the emotional nature is quite restrained. There’s pressure to perform and live up to one’s potential, there’s a demand for conformity and duty, to provide something concrete and estimable in spite of innate insufficiencies. The person has an inner disciplinarian that won’t allow for complete satisfaction – ever. There’s futility embedded in the person’s temperament, a kind of pessimism that seeks to be cured through ambition. Human existence is a pitiful thing to behold; it presents a lose-lose scenario that points to the development of character as the only hope of redemption. The person is essentially put between a rock and a hard place – to try and or give up and lose the self to cynicism. Emotions are habitually suppressed with a Capricorn Moon, which causes them to come out in uncontrollable bursts or through bodily symptoms. The skepticism and selfishness of the inner temperament is just as much a recipe for societal success as it is for unhappiness. “I only do what will bring me status” is the dark side of this Moon. The tendency of Pisces to play the victim could play in to this dynamic and make it a toxic cocktail. To play on the heartstrings of people while carrying out purely self-serving actions could serve to reach the height of manipulation. The task is to dismantle the shame around failure and face the emotions of weakness. The ambitious strivings might never go away, but they can serve to honor the self instead of compensating for the self.
Pisces Sun – Aries Moon
Summarized in one statement, this person would be “the impulsive dreamer”. There’s a warrior spirit living inside the personality of a mystic. Needless to say, the incompatibility of these energies could be felt quite strongly. There’s a thick and bittersweet romanticism to the identity, world-weariness and a longing for relief from the burdens of life. There’s nothing more to be done, there’s little desire accept to make oneself and others feel connected, if not merged. The person wants to blend with something that is unlimited, to taste a little bit of freedom through pushing the limits. There’s a fiery temper that needs to be let-out, and if one is not careful it might turn self-destructive. There’s a strong sense of self that lies at the core of the emotional nature and it needs to assert itself. However, the Piscean identity might not be up for honest confrontation and outbursts and flaming anger is not in the least bit empowering. However, the identity can learn to use the powerful emotions in creative ways. By acting powerless and at the mercy of one’s own temper it’s possible to identify as a victim, which fits the Piscean profile to a T. Alternatively, one could use the warrior spirit to be a savior and a hero in other people’s lives, which fits the Pisces personality equally well. One should beware that one has a lot of energy and take care as to how it is discharged. This combo has the potential for love that is demonstrative and assertive, but there’s always the risk of blurring the lines between assertion and aggression – especially with a Piscean identity. Cruelty can be mercy, and mercy can be cruelty, what is what can be a little bit unclear. The Arien instinct is to act fast and impulsively, which might cause damage. The person is then pressed to restore the identification of innocence, shattered by the violent and “immature” behavior that was let out, unwillingly. In an attempt to do this there could be all sorts of manipulative blame shifting and justifications taking place. Instead of coping with it like this it is wise to own one’s potent emotions and recognize their power. An Aries Moon is not bad, although it’s quite direct, and the identity will have to accommodate for the more anti-social aspects of the feeling nature. Disruption doesn’t have to contradict harmony; it is sometimes just as healthy as passivity. Someone has to stir the pot and stand up for some kind of ideal even if it’s uncomfortable.
Pisces Sun – Cancer Moon
There’s a strong proclivity to shut the world out and get everything done from inside of one’s own private sphere. The intangible is familiar to this person and it’s equally real as anything else. There could be a lot of fear circling the person’s unconscious and conscious mind, intrusive thoughts and emotions could arise spontaneously and threaten to overwhelm the being. On one level the person is ok with being at the mercy of something bigger but on another there’s a deep need for protection against the unconscious. The wiser the person gets, the more value can be found in flowing with the tides. However, with an undeveloped ego it might be too much to navigate the experiences. This is why it’s very important to develop a separate self within the all-encompassing self, or connect to the all-encompassing within the little self. If this is done, there’s nothing to be feared anymore and one can live life to the fullest. The person’s emotions are the embodiment of a woman on her period (and this analogy applies to men as well). Irrational worries, cravings for specific things, hot and cold moods, clinginess and passive aggressiveness, and the list go on. Sudden exclamations of love could be followed by resentment and anxiety. However, there’s a capacity for offering unconditional care and empathy. There’s an instinctual understanding of emotional and physical needs while the conscious identity is more idealistic and romantic. Love is divine, not primal in the person’s eyes – yet the pull to have a physical home and the whole package of safety seems too be too pressing to ignore. It’s impossible to sacrifice everything for love – certain unconscious forces crave personal satisfaction and personal belonging. It is not enough to feel one with the universe or God. The Cancer Moon might instinctively want a home and a familial context to be satisfied and it could work well with the Piscean ideal and romanticism. The difficulty might lie in the effort it takes and the imperfections that come with the burdens of family life. The martyr complex might develop which might turn very toxic. The truth is that the person has enough to deal with regulating their own emotions and escapist tendencies. Individual strength is a necessary evil; it takes a lot of work for this person.
Pisces Sun – Libra Moon
There’s a strong focus on other people with this combo. Emotionally, there’s a thirst for balanced relationships, which causes an enhanced focus on what is happening with other people – what they’re doing and what they’re thinking. Appreciation of others comes naturally and is nothing the person has to work on. This being said, there’s a risk of desiring a world where everything is meticulously designed and perfected – which is bound to end up in disappointment. Nothing can really measure up to the standard that this person has set – it’s too fantastical. The divine could be sought through partnerships because the personal instinct is to navigate life through others. The path of self-actualization lies in the mystical quest for unity. Combining the two, one ends up with a person that is extremely idealistic and dependent on others to carry the self to new heights. The person can’t be without beauty; this is the most important component in life. To balance and adjust the atmosphere to suit one’s preferences is a constant work in progress. The restlessness and frustration that stems from not being able to make things be as one wants them to might not sit well with the Piscean identity. The divine essence shines through in everything, but the Libran perspective thinks that the divine is reached through modification and adjustment. Libra is the sign of the Arts, and art is form, first and foremost. The Piscean identity might claim that everything is art because nothing stands apart from the sublime source. Accepting everything as it is, is not an option for this person, even if the conscious identity might want it to be. Instinctually and unconsciously the person needs the new clothes, the pretty cake and the right music. Not to forget a socially estimable partner to cling to. Although the more instinctual needs are this superficial, the path of individuation is to see beyond form, to feel the aliveness within everything and merge with it yet remain separate without feeling disconnection from the greater Self. Life is an ongoing dance, yet it stands perfectly still at the same time. It’s fine to seek satisfaction in beauty, because it is not the ultimate, but it is expressed through it - as it is expressed through everything in existence.
#pisces sun#pisces#astrology#sun and moon combos#aries moon#taurus moon#gemini moon#cancer moon#leo moon#virgo moon#libra moon#scorpio moon#sagittarius moon#capricorn moon#aquarius moon#pisces moon#pisces sun pisces moon#moon signs#moon signs in astrology#water signs#neptune#pisces sun and moon#pisces season#identity#emotion#life#pisces sun aries moon#pisces sun taurus moon#pisces sun gemini moon#pisces sun cancer moon
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Full Moon in Cancer in the 12th House: The Healing Power of Art
It is an important part of my practice to set intentions at the New Moon that I intend to manifest when the moon is full in the same sign six months later.
As I write this, there is a Full Moon in Cancer coming up in a few days. It is my usual practice to reflect on the intention I set at the New Moon and either release it or celebrate how far I've come at the Full Moon.
I'll be honest, there are times when I look at the intentions I set at the New Moon and wonder who wrote them. Learning how to set good intentions is a process, and it is far too easy to write intentions that are vague, outlandish, or just plain nonsensical.
This Full Moon, though, I was delighted to find myself having a mountain top experience looking back at where I was with Cancer six months ago.
Let me share my journey with you.
The Art of the Sign Cancer
One of the under-appreciated sides of Cancer, in my opinion, is the importance of art.
Cancerian art is not what we have been trained to think of as art. Cancer is not a creator of art for art galleries or mystical insight. (Though, people with strong Cancer placements may create art that does both of those things.) It is expressive, but It isn't talking to an audience. It is private and subjective. It is the artist talking to themselves. It has a strong aesthetic sense, but it is not interested in developing more skill, unless the lack of skill is interfering with the ability to say what needs to be said. If a similar effect can be created with washi tape and stickers, Cancer will use washi tape and stickers instead of paint.
The art of Cancer is the art of scrap journals, junk journals, and art journals full of collage and kawaii doodles.
2015: Meeting Cancerian Art for the First Time
I have Leo rising and no natal planets in Cancer, so I didn't have much of a gateway for understanding Cancer until my Mercury and Mars progressed into Cancer in around 2015.
I was nervous, at first, to have planets in the 12th house, but I have since come to realize that the arrival of these planets has been a blessing. I have always had 12th house experiences. Everyone does. When I had no planets in the 12th, I also felt like I had no natural means of coping when difficult 12th house experiences happened. With Mercury and Mars there, I find it easier to think or fight my way out of trouble. My progressed Mercury and Mars have gave me me an avenue for exploring the delightfully creative world of the sign Cancer.
My first Cancer teachers were Susannah Conway and Jamie Ridler. I don't know what their relationships with the sign Cancer are, but their work is very cancerian. Susannah posts pictures of dolls and foxes on Instagram and teaches classes about creative photography and journaling techniques. Jamie also posts pictures abandoned triplet kittens she adopted, and she is a creative coach who uses cancerian art to help you figure out what's important and manifest your dreams.
For years after I discovered their work, I was simultaneously enchanted and frustrated in my attempts to follow their example. When I made the time for their type of creativity, I was happier and mentally healthier, but I found it difficult to fit it into my life.
When I discovered it, I was in a very 12th house place. I was sick all the time, and I gave myself permission to immerse myself in creative journaling projects whenever I was well.
When I got better, I could no longer justify the long hours I had spent drawing geometric shapes in a notebook. Whenever I found I had a choice between creative art journaling and anything else, I looked longingly at my art supplies and always chose to go back to my responsibilities.
(This crossroads, the choice between work and play, is the intersection where Cancer and Capricorn meet. If you choose play, you have chosen Cancer's road. When you choose work, you have chosen Capricorn's road.)
6 Months Ago: Setting a New Moon in Cancer Intention
About 6 months ago, at the New Moon in Cancer, I decided that I had had enough of this. I was feeling like my life was all work and no play, and I wanted to do something about it.
I had no idea what I would do. (That is one of the "joys" of New Moon intention setting. I usually have no idea how I'm going to get what I want.) I just knew that I desperately wanted there to be a place in my life to play with my art supplies.
New Moon intentions are made in the dark, and I have found that manifesting the desires spoken in the darkness requires moving in darkness for a long time after the moon moves on, making decisions that seem to be entirely unrelated to your goal at first.
Soon after I set that intention, I took a break from my astrology practice to go back to school. I had the idea that I might make a living as a user experience designer at a tech company, so I went through Google's UX certification course, and I spent the fall doing work for an augmented reality gaming startup.
In the process, I found myself inadvertently living in the intersection of Cancer and Capricorn. It was my job to design virtual spaces where people went to have fun. It was my job to play in those spaces and experience the joys and frustrations of our users for myself. I spent hours talking to dungeon masters, learning about how they created play spaces so that my company could create tools to make their jobs easier.
I learned through constant practice that the intersection between Capricorn and Cancer isn't always either/or. There are times when it is both/and. There are times where you must play to do your job well. There are times when choosing the thing that feels good is the right business choice.
I returned to my astrology practice changed by this knowledge. I saw all of the bad design decisions I had made on my website with horror, of course, but I also saw my teaching practice through new eyes. Before, as a teacher, I had been entirely focused on information, as if it was my job to find data about astrology and format it for easiest download.
I began to spend more time thinking about the experiences I was creating for my students. I went as far as completely tearing apart a 9-month course and putting it back together to create a better experience when, previously, I wouldn't have been able to justifying "burning so much time for the sake of aesthetics."
3 Months Ago: Learning the Important Role of the 12th House in the Creative Process
After my experience with UX, I immersed myself in concern with the experience of my students. I wanted them to have fun. I wanted them to feel good. I wanted them to have beautiful experiences, but I wasn't thinking about my experience at all.
Frankly, I was starting to feel a little jealous.
As synchronicity would have it, Susannah Conway offered a course called the Inside Story, which was all about how she runs her business. I applied for a scholarship. In my application, I told her that I wanted to learn how she has managed to create a business that is successful and has so much time for beauty, play, and delight. And she gave me a scholarship.
(That 12th house period I mentioned earlier was really quite bad. It ate seven years of my career.)
I learned so many things from that course it deserves a whole post of its own. (And if you ever read this, Susannah, thank you from the bottom of my heart.) But the most relevant thing I learned was the importance of going slowly and taking the time to make my process as beautiful as the work I am creating for clients.
My usually creative technique was to use all of the technical tools available to me to create things as quickly as possible, but it was a soul-sucking way to work that left me exhausted.
As Susannah showed us how she works, I felt like I was walking behind her through snow, putting my feet in her footprints, until I was ready to I learn how to break a trail for myself.
In the process, I realized that the 12th house represents an entire phase in the creative process. There is a time in the creative process when you have finished a project, and you haven't yet started the next project. You are like an astronaut, floating free in space. Possibilities are open to you. Your work has infinite potential.
I find that when I am in this space, I am usually, also, exhausted and creatively spent and have no idea what to do with myself. This almost inevitably turns into anxiety and depression.
I have learned that this is the time to put the computer and planners away and spend some quality time with things reading books that feed me, doodling and sketching out ideas in my notebooks, and playing with washi tape.
Doing these things isn't just resting. This kind of playful, undirected creativity gives the brain space to make new connections and consider new ideas. Humans cannot be innovative under stress. Innovation is necessarily risky because it requires doing things that haven't been done before. The stressed-out brain is incredibly risk-averse, retreating into its most well-practiced behaviors--fight, flight, freeze, appease--and operates at the level of cognitive ability we share with the dinosaurs. Not the greatest place from which to practice art--or astrology or teaching... or virtually anything else.
Stopping to play helps me realize that the work that was causing me stress is over. It is a way of celebrating while opening myself up to the new ideas that sneak in around the edges while I'm thinking about something else.
Full Moon in Cancer: Looking Back on the Journey So Far
As I write this, we are a few days from a Full Moon in Cancer. Looking back at the intention I set during the New Moon last summer, I smile. When I set that intention, I assumed that making a place for a cancerian artistic practice was just a matter of carving out time in the calendar.
Instead, I discovered that my astrology practice and my creative process needed to be upended so that I would understand the purpose the kind of artistic practice I was craving needed to have in my life.
Before, when I was in a cancerian space, I was working unconsciously. I knew that it felt good, but I didn't know why I was doing it. Because those activities didn't have purpose, I didn't know where those things should fit in my life.
In order to figure out where Cancer fit into my life, I needed a more complete understanding of what it means to be a teacher. I needed to stop thinking of myself as a walking dictionary and start thinking of myself as a creator of educational experiences that delight the senses. I needed to start creating the types of environments for my students that I want to live in myself.
This is still a work in progress. As I write this, my creative space is covered with notebooks and pretty highlighters and washi tape, but I still struggle to believe that being playful is okay during my "work" time. If that is still true at the next New Moon in Cancer, I know what my next intention will be.
If you are interested in learning more about how I use astrology to work with New and Full Moons, I have put together a bundle of of digital goodies that walks you through my process.
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TUA DISNEY AUs: Big Hero 6 (Pt. XVIII)
(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)
(BEWARE: abuse, murder, corruption, mental health issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms, suicidal ideation, death, grief, violence, basically i took the sad montage after Tadashi dies and just kept going with that except without the whole "getting better" thing, sorry, my bad, enjoy anyway i guess i don't know, bye, etc.)
(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)
(Hiro) Vanya hasn’t much of a head for science - not since a gas explosion in her childhood apartment killed her parents and exposed her to radiation, leaving her brittle-boned and sickly. She spends most of her days holed up in her room, reading and writing about every little thing she sees and hears and feels. There’s this cat in the alleyway she feeds sometimes, and her friend Ben who comes by to see how she is every few days. The only time she goes out is for school, or bot fights down in the bad neighborhoods. At those she gets to see Ben, and his partner Klaus and his friend Diego. Oh, and Sissy - the beautiful, shy punk girl who spins the records in the corner store. Vanya lives what she considers a pretty average life - until Ben dies, she screams, and all the windows around her shatter from nothing.
(Tadashi) Ben has been a science nerd for years, spending hours in the libraries and labs researching every little thing that catches his fancy. His partner, Klaus, has no such interest, having more of a head for poetry, but Ben loves him more than life itself - especially since Klaus was the only person who stuck with him when one of his experiments went wrong a few years ago, resulting in tentacles that are prone to ripping out of his chest when he’s angry. And since he loves Klaus so much, he spares not a second thought to running back into a burning building to get him back, even when it means certain death. And Ben knows you can’t bring back the dead - he tried when Klaus’ beloved boyfriend Dave died in a gunfight a few years back. Once you’re gone, you’re gone - or so he thinks until he wakes up and Klaus starts crying and muttering, You’re here, you’re here, you’re here, I did it, I did it, I did it - and Ben reaches out and thinks, Oh, no, sweetheart. You didn’t.
(Honey Lemon) Allison was engaged to Ray before he disappeared, but even after that failed experiment lost her the love of her life, she continued to work for the forward movement of science and kept her vow of love to Ray. Using her research, she managed to create a pill that allowed her to bend reality, hoping to bring back Ray. Though she couldn’t raise the dead - no amount of I heard a rumor Ray was alive again worked - she won herself other advantages with her newfound powers, including sponsors, knowledge, opportunities, and protection. Klaus, Diego, Five, and Ben are her only true friends in this world - and she nearly loses all of them when Ben dies, drowning in their grief. When Luther, one of Five and Ben’s passion projects starts hanging around to monitor their mental health, Allison finds a new kind of love - deep, ever-lasting friendship that she’ll never give up. Even when they have to leave him behind on the moon after they save Ray, she doesn’t let him go - she finally knows how to speak up for what she wants, and speak up she does: I heard a rumor that Luther came back to me.
(Fred (actually a mash-up of Honey Lemon and Hiro though to be honest)) Klaus is a starving artist and poet, and he's covered in tattoos of his own words and drawings. Diego is too, because Diego loves him, and Klaus wants to love him back and probably does already, if he’s really honest with himself, but he’s not ready yet. Dave happened too soon ago. And then there was a fire, and Klaus was running around outside, looking for Ben, looking for the platonic love and light of his life, and he saw him run inside screaming Klaus’ name and never come back out. And he lives with that guilt every day, smoking and drinking all the bad shit again in an effort to just forget, forget, anything goddamn anything to forget, and he goes crazy. People forget, because he’s not a student at their nerd school and because he acts like a dumbass, that Klaus is actually just as much a genius as the rest of them, and whatever he wants, he can get without much trouble. So what if he can’t bring back the dead? He won’t live without Ben, he won’t, and he won’t leave Diego - which leaves only one option, really: find a way to make himself see ghosts.
(Wasabi) Diego lives a charmed life. Truly. He’s almost been assassinated fifteen fucking billion times, his two best friends are robots, and he’s in love with a person too sad to love him back. See, Diego’s skills brought him to the military’s special attention - he found a way to make weaponry that doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He keeps it as secret as he can, and will sell it to nobody, but millions of people are still after it. It’s not until one of the assassins almost nails Klaus with a bullet and Diego kills her with a store-bought kitchen knife without moving that he realizes the weaponry he created isn’t special, but Diego is. From then on it’s nothing but trouble - because Klaus likes to dumb himself down, but he can’t fool Diego, and so when he starts screaming at empty air and calling it Ben, Diego isn’t surprised in the least, though maybe he should be. Instead he just sighs, opens his arms, and lets a sobbing Klaus fall into him, loving him more than he did yesterday and less than he will tomorrow. Diego has his home, and he has his people, and he has his powers - and he will defend them to the fucking death.
(Gogo) Five is bitter and grumpy, living off coffee and perpetually crazy. He’s brilliant enough to have done surgery on himself, implanting an AI pacemaker in his heart named Dolores from an accident that nearly stripped him of everything, his life included. He was born with special powers, both of which fuelled his fascination with science, but he keeps that secret close to his chest - he’s seen what people do to Diego and Allison, and he has no interest in that. He’s close with the others, somewhat, though his impassable genius makes it difficult for people to understand him - Diego gives him piggy back rides and he often falls asleep curled into Klaus’ side, and Allison gives him rides home and Ben builds robots with him. But as hard as he finds it to connect with them, it’s even harder to lose them - so when he realizes he can use his time travel powers to save Ben, he doesn’t hesitate. And then he’s dying in Klaus’ arms, and he’s watching as his favorite person in the world chooses to lose the love of his life all over again to save Five, and something deep inside him changes.
(Baymax) Luther is a medical robot, built by Five and Ben in their spare time. There are some videos in him, mostly of Ben talking to Klaus because Luther was meant to be a gift for Klaus to help him with his depression, anxiety, PTSD, anorexia, and addiction, etc.. Five adds grief counseling to his programming and gives him to Klaus on his first birthday after Ben’s death, making Klaus dissolve into tears. While Luther clashes with Diego, who hates him for surviving where Lila didn’t, they get along well enough to appease Klaus, because Luther knows Klaus loves Diego and Diego knows Luther helps Klaus. When they travel to the moon to get Ray, Luther winds up stuck there, unable to get the others home if he doesn’t stay behind. Klaus and Allison both have trouble letting him go, but Klaus forces Allison to come home with him, crying as he leaves Ben for the third and final time. When Allison brings Luther back, his videos still intact, Klaus touches Ben’s face on his chest and cries, cries, cries.
Lila is a malfunctioning masterpiece, and Diego’s best friend. He made her as a help robot, but she’s a prototype, and was rejected for her proneness to violent outbursts and catatonic episodes. She’s easy to manipulate, as Diego never bothered to fix her security protocols, but it’s not like there’s anyone else who talks to her - except Five, and he’d never touch her programming without Diego’s explicit permission. She sleeps at Diego’s house, in her charging station next to Eudora’s. Lila knows robots can’t feel love, so that isn’t what she’s feeling - but her wires are tied to Eudora’s in some way, she just knows it. They’re two halves of the same code. But she never gets to explore that link - she burns away to nothing in the fire that destroys the Handler’s minions, using the last of her strength to save Five from the flames. She hopes, when Diego finds his baby brother curled in her charred corpse, that he’ll bury her in the rain, and keep on living without her well enough.
Eudora is a suicide-prevention robot. Seriously. That’s all she’s here for. Ben and Diego built her together for Klaus specifically, programming her with some of his favorite jokes and references so she’d have an easier time talking him down from the edge when one of them can’t be there. She’s programmed to instantly call Ben, Diego, Five, or Allison immediately if she finds him doing dangerous things, like playing with Diego’s knives naked. (It happened one time. Seriously. True story.) She’s calm and gentle, unruffled and kind, and Diego often spends hours talking to her, because she may be programmed for Klaus but she can still help anyone who needs it. He nearly looses her to Cha-Cha, but Klaus saves her just in time, beating Cha-Cha to a steaming hunk of scrap metal with a baseball bat for trying to hurt his best (robot) friend. She’s not saddened by Lila’s death, per say, she can’t be… but when she’s downloading databases on panic and anxiety attacks for Diego and Klaus, she makes sure to save some on insomnia for herself, too.
Sissy is a botfighter, one who dresses in a black and magenta punk aesthetic to fend off strangers, too shy for the world. She messes around with Vanya, the two of them often dancing in the rain and finding joy in the small moments, but happily ever after was never in the cards for them. Sissy lives with her abusive boyfriend Carl and has their son to take care of, an accident from too many beers - when Carl murders her in a drunken rage, it’s less of a surprise and more of a solemn inevitably. Her son, Harlan, is placed in Vanya’s care, and Vanya travels the world with him, telling him everything about his mother she knows. It’s a bittersweet ending, but a hopeful one too.
Ray was a student at the nerd school before he became a therapist, using his incredible mind-healing technology to help people all over the world. Allison fell in love with him quickly, easily, and the two were engaged before the year was up, planning for a spring wedding in which Klaus would, obviously, be the flower girl. But when he was offered the chance to go to space as a therapist for the other nine people on the mission, he jumped at the chance, bidding Allison goodbye and heading to the moon. But something went wrong and he was lost to the world, along with the other nine astronauts, all of whom died when the ship crash-landed. Ray has been in a coma for years there, having been knocked out in the explosion, and remains that way until Luther brings him home, Allison having come for him at last. (When he’s well enough to, he takes care of Five, Klaus, and Diego, whose mental states have been steadily declining for years. Their robots are brilliant, of course, but there are some things you just need a human for.)
Reginald is the dean of the nerd school and also an asshole. He has a habit of killing students when they get in his way, or to steal their inventions as his own - and he gets away with it too, because he’s at the forefront of memory technology and quite literally erases these people from existence so nobody comes asking questions. Plus he’s got connections in the government that destory any records he needs destroyed. He had a couple of kids he wanted to get rid of the night of the showcase, and started the fire to make it seem like an accident - well, Ben actually was an accident, he wasn’t on Reginald’s hitlist, not yet, but whatever. It is what it is. What Reginald doesn’t anticipate is Klaus - because nobody ever anticipates Klaus - and so he thinks nothing of it when he confesses to Ben’s murder in his monologue in front of all his former students. He can just erase their memories later. Or so he thinks, until Klaus lets out a savage war cry and lunges forward to strangle him, killing him in cold blood without a second thought, and so is the end of Reginald Hargreeves. (Five takes the fall for his murder - not that it matters. Diego and Klaus break him out and the three of them disappear, never to be seen again - at least, not until Allison’s done manipulating every single person in the world into forgetting it ever happened on live TV.)
The Handler is Reginald’s finest invention: a flawless AI in a perfect human body. Problem is, she became bored of being his servant years ago and took over his life, blackmailing him into doing whatever she wants. Most of the killings are still his idea, and Ben certainly wasn’t her fault, but it’s the Handler who wants Five dead, and it’s the Handler who sends her reject minions after him. She wants Eudora dead and she wants Klaus deader, but she gets neither - Five finds her and hacks her into little tiny pieces, putting all of them in a fire and then shoving those ashes into an Iron Maiden, dropping the Handler to an inescapable grave. Fuck her “life”.
Hazel is a teddy bear with a security camera in his stomach. He sits on Agnes’ counter in her donut shop, just watching the goings-on even though nobody ever steals anything there. Mostly he’s held in the lap of Five, who comes into Agnes’ whenever he doesn’t want his friends to see him cry - over a failed invention, Klaus’ most recent suicide attempt, Lila’s death - whatever, you name it. Agnes takes care of him, making him milkshakes when he asks for coffee, and eventually sends Hazel home with him, asking him to take care of Five for her. He doesn’t know it’ll be the last time he ever sees her - two weeks later Agnes is killed by Reginald and her donut shop is ransacked by looters. Her memory lives on in Hazel and Five, who rebuilds and reopens the shop with Klaus and Diego and Allison after a couple years, renaming it for Ben and living on despite his grief, and Hazel sits on the counter again, watching the sunset through the glowing windows.
Cha-Cha was supposed to be one of those “oh-hey-we’re-not-racist-anymore-we-make-black-dolls-too-see?” Barbies. She ended up with a rather experimental kid who enjoyed robotics and horror films, resulting in Cha-Cha: an AI in a Barbie with chainsaw arms. She kidnaps Klaus under the Handler’s orders, as he’s a connection to Five (who the Handler wants to kill) and Ben (who’s the only connection to Reginald and the Handler’s murders). This backfires spectacularly, of course, when Eudora and Diego come for him: Cha-Cha goes for Eudora’s throat and Klaus breaks himself free of his binds and beats her to smithereens with a baseball bat.
Leonard used to hang around Vanya, just generally assaulting her and being a creep, until suddenly he disappeared one rainy Monday never to be seen again. His body was found rotting in a lake a couple years later. It was revealed later on that he had decided to and succeeded in making real-life replicas of the Five Nights at Freddie’s characters, and they hadn’t been too fond of him trying to boss them around. The Handler recruited the replicas later on for her own schemes, and they followed Reginald rather well, their appetite for people satisfied well enough. But Leonard remains the school legend, and a striking reminder to be careful what monsters you let live.
Grace is the queen of the Land of the Remembered, and you may be wondering what she’s doing in this story. Well, to put it simply - Reginald’s little games have been messing with her shit. There are perfectly kind and memorable people who have come down to her only to be erased in the Land of the Living within the week, leaving her no choice but to take them in as refugees, working out a deal with the Land of the Forgotten since they weren’t given a fair shot at their deserved afterlife. She takes care of Ben when he dies for the second and final time, appearing to assure Klaus he’ll be alright when he crosses over. This is when Diego finally learns the truth about his mom, who has always been home in time to make dinner and never missed a single milestone, and who is apparently also an all-powerful goddess. She gives him a hug and tells him his boyfriend is cute (He’s not my boyfriend.) (You’re holding hands, darling. You may be an oblivious idiot, but I’m not.) and then she heads off, though she’s always back with Ben for the holidays. (Not Lila, unfortunately. She has no jurisdiction over robots.)
And Hiro is ace-aro and he and Miguel are QPPs, and Honey Lemon and Wasabi are QPPs, and Fred and Wasabi are dating, and Gogo is an bisexual aro queen with a girl she likes to kiss in the back alleyways, and Hiro has two sisters named Violet and Boo and Tip is his ace-aro lab partner. You’re welcome.
#tua#the umbrella academy#big hero 6#disney#the hargreeves & friends#kliego#ralluther#eudorla#vanya x sissy#five &x dolores#klaus &x ben#hazel x agnes#hazel & cha cha#i don't know this is really sad and really dark#whatever#my bad#have a nice day y'all#bye
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hello there! could i get a kin analysis for bnha, please? - i am a sagittarius sun, capricorn moon, scorpio rising, and an intp 5w6
- i enjoy listening to music, drawing, watching movies, reading and writing.
- as i said before, i like writing and just making stories in general. i get a lot of inspiration from music and i usually base a lot of my stories around songs :] (i mainly listen to indie/alternative stuff and kpop)
- i'm 100% an introvert (large social gatherings overwhelm me a lot,,) but a lot of my friends, and people i meet see me as an extrovert, and they get really surprised when i say i'm not, haha. i just tend to be really loud and expressive when i'm around ppl i'm comfy with!! and also maybe its just because - i hang around extroverts often and i like to match their energy shxhnfnfnfj.
- i'm a very insecure person, which again, surprises a lot of ppl because sometimes i come off as super confident (and even sometimes arrogant apparently?) but JSJSJDDJ no i'm not! i just say stuff like "haha i'm the best at everything!!! i am perfect!!!!" as a joke to mask those insecurities </3 i tend to be a perfectionist and i get frustrated easily when i don't meet my own standards ^^"
- i hate group projects, completely despise them. i don't hate the people!!!! i just hate the pressure..
- i like making new friends, but i don't like socializing. not sure if that makes sense tbh
- i like listening to people, and i let my friends vent/rant to me when they need it. i wouldn't say i'm a "therapist friend" or anything tho,, because i suck at comforting people ^^" but i try!!
- i try to be a neutral and open minded person most of the time. if theres any sort of conflict or drama going on, i want to make sure i hear all sides of the story before i make any assumptions. i don't like choosing sides either!!!
- i tend to idolize people a lot, esp celebrities or ppl who are older and more succesful than me. (which usually leads to me being very disappointed when i find out they're actually not very good ppl ://)
- i've asked my friends to describe me and most of their responses are;; funny, weird, annoying (in an endearing way, i hope), and loud :0
i apologize if this is a bit too long!! but thank you in advance!!
You Probably Kin: Izuku Midoriya
In my opinion, you’re much like Izuku, from the way you tend to have someone to look up too, to your creative outlets.
The outlets of writing and listening to music, as well as reading are all activities that are most commonly done alone by oneself. I find this reminiscent to the way Izuku writes in his notebook when he’s nervous, both of your outlets being writing, and emotion based.
Another mirroring factor I’ve found is your habit of idolising people, whether it be short term or long run. This is mirrored by the way Izuku idolises All Might all his life, eventually being somewhat surprised when he doesn’t meet his vision of what a hero should look like.
You being an open minded person, as well as an introvert is also related to Izuku, in the way he’s shy around people and willing to accept anybody, despite what they’ve down, see how he wants to save even the villains. You both belive there are two sides to every story.
Another aspect the both of you share is your need to be perfect. Much like Izuku trains and pushes himself to the brink in the name of living up to All Might’s expectations, you also share this need to do well, except for you, the coping mechanism is baseless confidence. It’s the same concepts, just different methods of dealing with it.
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Waiting for the Worms - Mother
Part 9
So uh... Marinette's part kind of became too long and I'm going to have to extend it into part 10. Plus the tone of this to the rest is just so different that it seemed necessary to split it. Very Damian centric here. Warning all still apply.
Closed! List (Do y'all mind that I've hit you up four days in a row now?) : @northernbluetongue @thethirdwheelfriend @shizukiryuu @theatreandcomicfreak @michellemagic @karategirl119 @moonlightstar64 @my-name-is-michell @mystery-5-5 @zalladane @queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm @miraculousdisapointment @dorkus-minimus @jardimazul @allthebooksandcrannies @g-arya @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @persephonescat @mycupisbroken @luciferge @18-fandoms-unite-08 @dawnwave16 @alwaysreblogneverpost @kris-pines04 @mysteriouslyswimmingfan-blo-blog @weird-pale-blonde-person @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @kokotaru @naclychilli @slytherinhquinn @clumsy-owl-4178 @ladybug-182 @darkthunder1589 @evil-elf16 @dast218 @lysslovsanime @emilytopaz @naoryllis @iloontjeboontje @thepeacetea @danielslilangel @finallyaniguana @i-like-fairytail-and-stuff @vixen-uchiha @yuulxd @bleeding-heart-romantic @magic-inthe-stars @st0rmy-w1th1n
~---~
Before the week ended, the boy approached her once more. This time it was after she had just finished up her Arabic lessons, the first time she'd seen him outside of that room.
"Why did she choose you?"
Marinette lifted her shoulders in a shrug and watched the frustrated twist of his lips as he attempted to stare her down. Her eyes occasionally jumped around the corridor, ensuring their privacy, but still refraining from answering.
"Are you mute?" The child demanded of her, "is that why you're with the language masters all the time? To learn to speak?"
Amusement coursed through her, shining from behind her eyes as she lifted a solitary finger to her lips, letting Damian determine her meaning. He didn't disappoint as an excited look came about him and he pressed further, hushing hus voice and moving in closer as though sharing a secret, which wasn't far off from the truth.
"The others aren't aware you can talk, are they? Of course not, dimwitted as they are," he took a condescending tone.
Letting an airy chuckle pass and offering a small smirk to let the other know he hit the nail on the head, she watched as the kid tried to appear composed while also preening under her obvious agreement with his insight. She couldn't help but wonder if this was his first experience with a willing audience. He couldn't be more than seven years old and yet already so cautious about allowing her to see how he enjoyed her attention.
"Well no matter, if they can't figure it out on their own, I see no need to inform them," Damian reassured her, hiding it as another jab at their peers. And after taking note of her appreciative nod, he disappeared the way he came.
...
Over the next few weeks, he showed up at random, venting out his annoyance with the trainers and masters, always under the guise that she couldn't tell anyone anyways without giving herself away, to which she only offered her quiet affirmations and acceptance.
Sometimes he asked questions, only to cut off and respond to himself that of course his companion couldn't answer, returning to his own conversation. It seemed to ease him that he never need worry over what she might say to him. Once in a blue moon he asked something she could answer without opening her mouth.
"Do you have a life outside of here?"
She tilted her head back and forty in contemplation before shaking a decided no. He seemed pleased with this. No competition for her attention, she supposed.
"How many languages do you actually speak then? Or are learning at least."
She contemplated if league dialect counted and decided it had to and also threw in guardian speak since she had been learning it beforehand, lifting up eight fingers. Damian's surprised look and appreciative hum lasted only a moment before his next barrage of insults to those who thought her mute started up once more.
While their talks only lasted about ten minutes tops and only every few days, the progress was enough to earn her Talia's praise in private, excited that the boy took to her so quickly. She also inquired as to Marinette's tactics but only received a shrug of her own and the quiet explanation that she simply listened.
…
After a particularly grueling training session where the two ended up switching targets midway through their own battles, taking both trainers off guard and downing them in record time, Talia decided to send them out for an extended mission together. Her reasoning that Jason obviously felt protective over the heir and the two worked well enough in tandem that it offered the perfect environment for furthering Damian's training, having only ever tagged along for small time missions in the past.
Later in the evening, she explained how the joint missions extended their trust and allowed more freedom for bonding to occur. How they could further plan for their escape if they knew how to work together outside of the city limits. Marinette meditated every second she could before the start of their new assignment.
The morning of, she collected Damian from the meeting point Talia gave them and led him into the larger group to make their way out of the caves. The mission went on for five days before they finally tracked down their targets. It took all of one night to end the mission, Marinette taking extra precautions to cover Damian's back at all times, landing killing blows to any that threatened the young life entrusted to her. By the end, the little one only took one life. A young woman who landed a lucky shot on Marinette. The boy's eyes widened in fear and struck blindly, slashing his katana across her torso, opening her up to the world before giving another wild slash to her neck. The second the woman dropped, he ran to her side, pressing on the wound and helping her back towards their hideout as the others cleaned out the last of the building.
As the sun rose, he helped to patch her up, yammering on about how stupid she was to allow herself to be hit like that. How ashamed she should be. How she should be better. Marinette saw the fear and worry and horror waring in his eyes, in the tense way he held his shoulders and shake in his hands. The guilty glances he tossed her, knowing she was distracted by protecting him. She ruffled his hair and offered a crooked grin at his huff of indignation. Neither slept that night, ready to return in the morning.
Damian refused missions without her after that.
…
After their return from their seventh successful mission, over two months later, Talia stopped showing up in the training room. No longer informed Damian where to meet up for missions, allowing the information to flow from the trainers down instead. She still told Marinette inner details in her rooms, but she could tell the woman cut off the child almost entirely. Knew they only saw one another during meetings with Ras.
Within another two weeks, Talia began to distance herself from Marinette in public even further. She was no longer seen as the pet project, but as a full fledged member who happened to run in this squadron. She stayed quiet on the manner, not willing to question her mentor on what she thought best when seen amongst the League. And with Marinette now understanding and speaking both arabic and league dialect fluently, she could spy on the others and gather information much easier without the silencing presence of their leader, all speaking more freely amongst themselves, still under the impression that she was not only mute but one of them now.
Damian seemed to grow more irritable by the day, sticking to her side like glue, quieter and on edge. Separation anxiety most likely. Talia had always retained a distant aloof relationship with her own kid, but he likely never expected her to quit checking up on him entirely, to no longer keep up with his progress and watch his training. She always let him know she hadn't forgotten him entirely, in her own way. Now, she hardly glanced his direction if they happened to enter the same room.
He lasted three weeks without Talia's watchful eye, before he broke down in his own manner.
Marinette heard a soft knock on her door before it creaked open, one green eye peeking in at her, in a silent question.
Sitting up in her bed, she tilted her head in consideration before nodding her acceptance. She observed as he slid into the room and shut the door behind him, hesitating only a moment in the doorway before marching over towards her and taking a seat, starting in on his usual tirade of random facts and observations. By now, she recognized this as a coping mechanism, his way of excusing his coming to her without outright stating that he just craved the company. A growing suspicion in the back of her mind told her that once he assured himself she wouldn't leave nor dismiss him, he might take to more quiet quality time. For now, he rambled endlessly. Eventually he tired himself out and left her alone once more.
Every other day, he made a reappearance to rant once more until he couldn't find anymore excuses to stay and left, tail practically tucked between his legs.
…
Two months more passed and Talia showed no sign of returning to Damian's life, Marinette finally decided to confront the woman.
"Oh Jason, surely you know I can't escape with you, right?"
Her eyebrows scrunched up in confusion at the question, before realizing her own stupidity. Why in the world would she train Marinette to take away Damian if she could do so, herself? As shock overtook her, arms wrapped gently around her shoulders, drawing her into the woman's embrace.
"It would put both of you at too high a risk. I need to stay here and throw them off your trail. To control the situation until you're both too far out of my father's reach. He can't know I have any attachment to either of you for this to work. You need to blend in, mean nothing to me so that everyone overlooks you. It doesn't matter if Damian clings to you, as long as no one else looks at you twice, you're still nobody. You'll slip out and everyone will just assume you died on a mission if they even think of you."
"Can't you meet with him in private? Like you do with me?" She pleaded with Talia, heart heavy knowing she would have to eventually leave another mentor behind. Knowing how Damian hurt for his mother.
"No Jason. He's too young. He won't understand. It's best if he comes to the decision to disown me. To no longer care about me, ao it hurts less in the long run. If he barely ever knew me and I simply disappeared, if he never truly knew my love to begin with, there's less to miss. Less of him to hurt in my absence. I know it's terrible and he feels abandoned, but think how much worse it would be if I showed him love now only to kick him out of the league to never be seen again? I can't add on to that pain."
She hated how much sense that made. Whether Damian knew it or not, his mother loved him so much and was willingly sacrificing her right as his mother so he could have a better life without her. That would never make the years of neglect and abuse okay, but at least she was setting him up to move on to something hopefully better. Marinette would do everything in her power to ensure that hope became a reality.
…
Three months into Talia's disappearing act, six since Damian first came to her in the training room all those months ago, he entered her room and sat without a word on the bed next to her, staring down at the floor. She waited patiently for him to find his words, but tensed upon seeing the tears well up in the corner of the child's eyes. She desperately wished to reach out to comfort him, but restrained herself, not sure how he'd take the action. Eventually, he spoke in a trembling lilt.
"Why am I never good enough?"
Sucking in a breath, she swallowed down the last of her reserve and murmured back, voice a gentle lull, if a little deep and gruff around the edges, "You are plenty enough."
His eyes snapped up to meet hers, wide and clear, "You…"
"You are so much more than you know and anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve you."
He hesitated a moment, "Even mother?"
"No one who pays so little attention and offers so little love deserves the title of mother," she stated, hating herself for the words, knowing how much Talia truly did love and care, but aiming to break his connection to her at the woman's own command.
"You've never spoken to me before," he accused.
"You seemed like you needed someone to listen. And you said it yourself, I couldn't very well pose as mute if I answered all of your questions," she eased.
"And when I came here?"
"You hardly gave an opportunity to speak up in the midst of all your ranting. You don't strike me as the type to appreciate being cut off either," she teased, earning a soft blush in return.
He sobered up after a moment, looking back down towards his feet, "So if she doesn't deserve the title of Mother, I have no one."
"How do you mean?"
"Well Ras hardly deserves the title of grandfather by your definition and it's not like I have a father. So I have no one."
"And what am I then, chopped liver?"
He startled up, shooting her a bewildered look, "What?"
"You've become my personal little leech, attending all of my missions, sharing my training with me, coming into my rooms at your leisure, and yet you have no one? That hurts me deep," she attempted a saddened look, not sure how it turned out with her older, masculine features and white lined scars scattering her skin. It startled a tiny laugh out of him, so she'd take it.
"You… you want me? You actually care?"
"Of course I do, Dami. You're the closest thing to family I've got."
"Family," his inquired, tone guarded, a slight twitch in his nose and uptilt in his chin, giving away his hopeful excitement at the word.
"Yours, if you'd have me."
"That would be," he cut himself off here, trying to control himself, to not appear too eager, "acceptable," he settled on.
"Good. You're well spoken for an eight year old."
"I'm seven," he corrected with a smug smile.
"Even more impressive then," she lilted, watching as he took that to be the end of that conversation, moving to leave, only to stop with a hand on the door.
"Jason?"
"Yes?"
"I'm glad you're my family."
#jasonette#maribat#ml x dc#WFTW#part 9#if i get writers block im going to crash so bad i just know it#cross your fingers folks#and please tell me your thoughts i live off them
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Hi! I hope you're doing well! I wondered if you thought it would be a good idea to carry individual tarot cards for a new witch to get a feel for the cards?
Thank youuuuu
I think instead of just answering this outright, it’s more helpful to demonstrate thinking through this. I get a lot of...idk they’re not 101 questions about tarot itself but more looking for reassurance and validation and that’s kind of an awkward position to put a total stranger in. I get that it’s kind of a witchblr norm but it’s not something I’m super comfortable with personally.
And at the end of the day it’s down to you to evaluate for yourself.
So this is how I’d think through it if I were deciding whether to carry individual cards around with me.
Does this practice harm anyone (including spirits, cards themselves)?
I don’t think it’d be very harmful to me personally. I only work with deck that aren’t retraumatizing in any way and even if the imagery makes me uncomfortable I’m confident in my coping skills to work in and with that. The one harm I’d be worried about is that it might make me feel like I’m doing something when I’m not and that could be distracting from the actual work I want to do.
I think I’d want to check in with my deck and see if it’s on board or if it has any input on how to go about it. How I take that into account will depend on the relationship I have with a given deck. I have some decks I’m very close to and who definitely have their own personality. Other decks I get specifically to pick apart for tarot spell work. I liken it to my relationship to different plants. There are some I keep in my home and take care of and there are some I need to eat.
I wouldn’t want any physical harm to come to the cards so I’d have a way to make sure they’re well protected. I keep some of the one card mail readings I’ve ordered from folks in my journal cover or by my bed.
Does this practice stand to benefit me?
I mean for me? Hard to say. I’m not sure. Given my practice at this point there aren’t a ton of cards I would want to work with in such an individual way. Not with the goal of getting a feel for them at least.
The only exception to this is that I’ve been working very closely with the Hierophant as it’s the year card for 2021 and I’m working on projects specifically in devotion to that card. So in that way it could help.
It could be argued I already do this in my devotional work with figures of the Major Arcana generally and that has been beneficial for sure.
When and how will I evaluate whether I should continue?
It’s hard to evaluate whether a practice is working if you just fall off instead of choose to stop. I know moon cycles are popular and I do use them for some things but I’m more likely to just use a week cycle for a lot of these. I’d go okay well I’m gonna try it for a week and evaluate it again on Saturday (I like to do a lot of my evaluation work on Saturn’s Day).
So here I’d probably be like okay I’m going to put this card in my journal so I see it when I open it every day, I’m going to sit in contemplation with it for 5 minutes in the mornings, and I’ll see if I feel more comfortable with reading it in a reading next Saturday.
I don’t generally use just carrying something around to better know it. I think better knowledge comes through study and application. The only time I’ve done it was with the dice set I divine with and even then it was within the animist framework of like these dice very clearly have a spirit and I want to include them in my life like I would a friend - so I would take the whole set with me to different places and check in with them about how they felt and thought about things. But even that was just an introductory period before settling into our usual work.
So if it were me, I’d only carry something around if it’s within that animist/relational framework of getting to know something better and establish a mutual bond, just personally.
Because otherwise it’s just more work for...what? I try to avoid the illusion that I’m doing something when I’m not because for me at least it gets in the way of the work I actually want to do.
Where I’ve seen this practice - carrying individual cards around or even sometimes decks - most often described is in an effort to “feel more witchy”. If that’s the goal, then I don’t know what doesn’t and doesn’t work toward that. Someone for whom that’s important to them might be a better resource to reach out to.
So personally, I don’t immediately see the point, but like I’m not anyone’s dad at the end of the day so if you want to do it, you don’t need my understanding to.
I hope seeing how I think through it is helpful and genuinely wish you all the best in your tarot learning journey!
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birth chart reading for @ericaalinn
hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.
🦋 chart shape, dominants
your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. the moon has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your feelings and emotional growth. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your mental health, financial life and also your communication and thinking style.
your dominant planets are the sun, the moon and pluto. you are a very charismatic person, you have a very alluring appearance and you're definitely very attractive, even if not conventionally you still have people drooling over you. you may come off as bold and intimidating, but you're actually a very sensitive person as well, who's actually a bit insecure, but you don't show it.
your dominant sign is aries. you may have a reputation for being impulsive and straight-forward. you don't like beating around the bush, especially when people purposely get on your nerves. on the other hand, you're very loyal and generous when it comes to your loved ones. you're very opinionated, and you always wanna make sure that your voice is heard. you're proud of yourself.
your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.
🌎 ascendant in leo, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by the sun and mars
you’re an extremely confident and bright person, or at least you have a very strong aura around you that makes you look like you are. you have exceptional charisma and presence, in fact this is usually a celebrity placement! you surely don’t go overlooked. you naturally always try your best to make people feel at ease, and you mostly succeed thanks to your warmth, which makes you even more attractive. you probably like being recognized, and you may want to be famous. in fact, you like being in the spotlight and loaded with compliments and appreciation, they incredibly boost your self-confidence. your charisma may sometimes be too noticeable, resulting a bit dramatic; you may gesticulate a lot, imitate voices… basically, you would do amazing at acting, for example. in fact, most celebrities have a leo rising, or leo placements of any sort. you’re very playful, you most likely look younger than you are for your personality. you may also be a savage, and you’re most likely good at jokes of any kind. you appear as a very bubbly and outgoing person, yet you may be quite secretive. you don’t open up easily, especially about family / private matters. especially with your water influence, you’re very picky when it comes to trusting people. in addition, you’re a perfectionist; you care a lot about everything that revolves around you, from physical appearance to your job, you want it all to be perfect. that can cause you a lot of stress, as you always want to seem at your best state, you despise being seen as weak or unprepared. physically, all leos have beautiful hair. you may have curly, perhaps red or dark hair, or at least it’s very thick. you may also get tanned easily, an olive skin tone or any kind of warm undertones to your skin. you may have full, plump lips, or at least they have a defined cupid’s bow. you may also have bushy eyebrows, a wide forehead and a pointy chin, as well as a prominent bone structure.
🌞 sun in aries, 2° / 1st decan ruled by mars
even though you enjoy the idea of love and relationships, your independency is what matters the most for you. you possess strong leadership, which makes you aspire for the best positions in work, school, marriage etc. you don't want to lower your standards. aries have the reputation of being fearless, and that's mainly caused by their impulsiveness. in fact, if they actually thought before acting, they wouldn't be aries lol. some people may even define you as selfless, as you literally put yourself in danger or in awkward situations just to say what you truly think, even if nobody asked. it's part of your nature, you don't want to go unnoticed. I don't see you being the one starting conflicts, though, especially with your taurus mars. you probably just lose your temper when someone challenges you (and it may happen often, to be honest). you hate routine; you always try to spice up your daily life a bit by meeting new people and trying new experiences in general. you enjoy having fun, partying, travelling... you thrive in social situations. you may have troubles making right decisions, as you're quite indecisive. but, once you do choose, no one is gonna stop you from achieving your goals and showing the world who you are. in fact, you gain confidence from your assertiveness, making you pretty proud of your persona as well.
aries sun square cancer jupiter: this is a hard aspect, which could make you feel even more proud of yourself due to your fire dominance. you may feel like the universe is constantly against you, especially with your pessimistic cancer moon. you may feel unlucky, or even overindulge in things you like to cope with sadness or anger. you may have the tendency to overeat, buy useless things etc. you go from having a low self-esteem, to even looking very bossy without even realizing it. you struggle to keep your identity balanced, even though you might have not been aware of it at first. to achieve fortune and joy in life, you need to work hard for it. to do so, you have to learn your karmic lessons in this lifetime, which probably revolve around family issue and their impact on your interactions with others.
🌙 moon in cancer, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by the moon and neptune
with your moon in cancer, your privacy and security are the centre of your life. you need to be and feel emotionally stable to fully take advantage of all of your skills; for example, if you argue with a loved one of yours, especially if it's someone from your family, you could get very unmotivated to do anything. you need to feel complete to function correctly, and when you can't, you rely on material goods; e.g you may overeat, buy a lot of useless things out of stress, drink... anything that apparently helps you to cope. on the other hand, you're very affectionate, even clingy at times, but your feelings are very pure. because of that, you may also be extremely sensitive, you could be afriad of others' judgment for example. you have a very acute maternal istinct, you're most likely the mom friend of your group, especially since your sun is in aries, another protective sign. it comes natural to you to take care of others and nurture them, you'd definitely make an amazing mother. the problem with this trait is that you may sometimes take the blame for something just to protect others, you could often say white lies to help your loved ones. you just want to do something beneficial for others, you're extremely generous, but don't forget that you should take care of yourself first. also, since you feel the need to help others, you may often bottle up your emotions without anyone that is willing to help you work out your problems. make sure to always have some private space in your day-to-day life, it is extremely essential for you to develop your own ideas and also to understand what to do for your personal growth.
cancer moon square aries venus: there are contrasting feelings in your relationships with others; after all, your cancer moon wants to commit to someone and be loyal to them. on the other hand, your aries venus wants to be free. you don't want to feel tied to someone, you still need your independency. those two desires of yours probably contrast each other, stressing you out. you want a calm, almost boring relationship, but with this placement you can't seem to have one. your feelings and self-esteem may depend a lot on your relationships, not only with your lovers, but also with your friends. if someone isn't loyal to you, you immediately start blaming yourself. in your life you may lack intimacy, and while it may make you feel better at first, based on the rest of your chart you actually need someone on your side. you can't do everything on your own. you need to find someone that projects your ideals of love. if you need a free-spirit, go look for one. it may take you a while, but if you learn all the lessons you need to learn from your breakups, you'll be able to live a peaceful life with your spouse.
🗣 mercury in pisces, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and pluto
you have the potential to be very focused on something thanks to your aries energy, but your heavy pisces influence may interfer in that. in fact, you probably lose yourself in your own thoughts very often, starting daydreaming instead of doing what you have to do. you’re very creative and artistic, and you’re also able to fully convey your emotions in your words, even though it may be perceived as confusing sometimes. that’s because not everyone is as empathetic as you are. on the other hand, you may have the tendency to lie, or just being confusing in any way. you may not always express what you want crystal clear, as you want to able to modify the story just in case you encounter some hardships. also, you never truly express your feelings, probably out of fear. probably, the way you elaborate your thoughts is also influenced by your family and the impact they had on you. you’re always vague, and you keep your private matters for yourself. pisces is a mutable sign, so you may also find yourself changing ideas often, your mind wanders from one thought to another. you are very intuitive, and you may even have some sort of psychic talent. you could do well at reading tarots, birth charts etc. your voice is probably naturally loud, it's hard not to listen to you. also, since your mercury is squaring pluto, you could be quite impulsive sometimes and say things you actually don't mean. you could argue often with others due to this trait of yours, you get defensive very easily. on the other hand, you most likely have a nice sense of humor at least.
pisces mercury square gemini saturn: this placement gives you limitations and lessons regarding the way you think and talk. it may be that you’re too shy to approach others and to say what you think, so you just don’t try. otherwise, if you actually take action and try to overcome this problem, you could get into troubles. that’s probably caused by the fact that you don’t really pay attention to your words. you’re quite straight-forward, and due to your fire energy you always seem as if you’re up for a fight. you may be particularly pessimistic, or maybe you lack confidence in social interactions due to these problems, which could be possibly caused by your parents, or perhaps interfer in your relationship with your family. in fact, you may argue quite often with others, and misunderstandings are also common. this is something that gets naturally better with time, but in order for it to happen you need to take action. you may for example start speaking with others more at work, anything that allows you to challenge your mind and voice, in order to make you gain experiences and become a master at it. many celebrities, once they mastered this hard aspect, got loads of success. you can do that too, you just need to work on it.
pisces mercury square sagittarius pluto: you may become a bit manipulative. you probably don’t even realize it, though, as you have the ability to make people do what you want them to do. you probably love being right, especially during arguments, and you always manage to be so thanks to your skills. your words are like knives for others, they can truly cut deep through their ego. you’re direct and blunt, as you just say what you have in mind with no filters. you can develop a provocative attitude without even realizing it, which can obviously cause you conflicts. you need to be more careful about how you communicate your ideas, otherwise you could seriously damage other people’s self-esteem. on the other hand, if you acknowledge your flaws and work on them, this can actually turn into diplomacy. take advantage of your interest in your inner self to find out how to be a bit more gentle in choosing your words.
❤️ venus in aries, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by mars and the sun
with venus in aries, loving you is an adventure. you enjoy fun, exciting relationships. you're the type who's looking for a risktaker, even dangerous partner. you hate boredom, and this may be your weakness regarding this placement; that is, once the relationship starts getting more serious, you feel as if it's going down, when it's actually the opposite. hence, you just run towards a new adventure. this placement may even give you the reputation of being a player, but I don't think it's your case based on your others placements. you have to understand that relationships can get boring, but that's not necessarily a red flag. it just means you two are starting to feel comfortable together. you also enjoy physical contact, therefore cold partners are a no no for you. you need someone who's affectionate yet bold, and that would spoil you with attention and gifts. you enjoy the little things about love, such as remembering your anniversary or even giving you small presents, especially if they're homemade (like breakfast, poems etc.). you also try to avoid flaky people, as you don't like making relationships seem too light.
☄️ mars in taurus, 15° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury
with taurus mars, you may actually despise working too much. you love challenging your mind, but you're kind of lazy. you'd rather stimulate yourself through your hobbies and interests rather than using school / work, which are quite stressful for you. you need to find something material and concrete to motivate you and make you assertive. you could study just because you need a good grade, or maybe work just to get paid. you don't really do it with interest, as you care more about nurturing your passions than responsibilities. you're not really into conflicts; you'd rather be peaceful with everyone, as you find it a waste time to argue with someone. most taurus mars tend to be quite passive, yet I don't think it's your case. I imagine that with your heavy aries and leo energy, you've got a hot temper. you may try to avoid conflicts, but once someone gets on your nerves it's over for them. you're very unpredictable from this point of view, it's hard to decipher you. you may be more verbally aggressive than physically, though.
🏡 houses
your 1st house is in leo. with this placement, you care a lot about your persona, both physically and also mentally too. yet, you may start feeling like you need to be perfect at all costs to be accepted, especially during your early years. for example, you may be the type to follow fashion trends to look cool, and you may subconsciously force yourself to like them. you need to understand that you should enhance your individuality, and ask yourself who you are. it’s not all about who you are outside, the inside matters even more. you’re free to stand out, but make sure that you do it in a comfortable way for you, or it will start becoming toxic as time goes by. you have big goals for your future, you may even want to be famous. they’re basically the centre of your life, it revolves around your goals and achievements. you’re naturally charismatic, you may have lots of friends or at least it’s easy for you to get known in your community.
your 2nd house is in virgo. you have a practical approach to money; even though you may like spending and shopping, I see you being careful with them, and you may even have track of them through an agenda or something like that. you feel the need to be perfect, and that can cause you self-esteem issues. with your heavy leo energy, I assume that this manifests as sudden bursts of insecurity or of confidence, your image of yourself fluctuates a lot. you take pride in your intellect, you are very proud of your ideas, theories and opinions. you could also make money from communication of any kind. you could be a stewardess, as well as a writer, a singer, an host… especially with your heavy leo energy, you’re very creative, you’d definitely would well in such a field.
your 3rd house is in libra. it's most likely common for you to include other people in your thoughs and speech. for example, you may often find yourself talking about your partners, your friends, neighbors, celebrities... you probably also like gossips. this placement, on the other hand, gives you an opinionated, even poetic mind. you could be interested in literature for example, and you most likely were good at school. your mind and words are your energy tank, what satisfy you the most. you may talk a lot about different topics of any kind, from childhood to videogames, but you never get boring. you're always entertaining to listen to. you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a low voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both side of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the times you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness.
your 4th house is in scorpio. your relationship with your family is most likely very intense, but not necessarily good. it could be that your parents were quite overprotective of you, you felt judged and restricted from acting the way you wanted. or perhaps, they were emotionally distant, your childhood lacked affection. you probably had to grow up sooner than other kids, and it could be that you first came in touch with plutonian topics (drugs, spirits, sex, death etc.) at a young age. you were more mature from this point of view. in addition, it's also probably that your parents were particularly overprotective, and hence they could have limited you from making experiences. this challenging childhood of yours is most likely the cause of your unstable self-esteem, and perhaps you also have troubles with long-term goals and dreams too.
your 5th house is in sagittarius. you most likely love hanging out, you love being in company of your loved ones and you’re probably quite extroverted too. you don’t mind being in social situations, partying and having fun in general, even though at first you could be reluctant. they’re actually crucial for your happiness, as social interactions are your source of relax. actually, you find joy and pleasure in them. you may also be fond of light relationships, you’re very experimental when it comes to intimacy, but thanks to your water influence you’re able to understand the true essence of love and settle down when you find the right one. you’re most likely also an extremely creative person, even though you may struggle to make it concrete due to your heavy earth dominance that makes you quite logical.
your 6th house is in aquarius, uranus and neptune are also sitting there. people with aquarius in their 6th house need to change their routine throughout your life. probably, when you were you younger they taught you things that aren’t healthy for your body and health. you may have to change your diet, your medicines… also, you may sometimes procrastinate in your day-to-day life. I don’t think you do it too often, but for example you wouldn’t mind skipping a day of school or work to play videogames. this placement also indicates that you may often come across unpredictable events in your daily life. you may often see strange, unordinary things, or perhaps it’s your routine that is like that. you may lack consistency when it comes to diets and health, for example; you may start a diet and keep it for a month, then you get tired and drop it all of a sudden. you could also develop unexpected diseases. you may pursue a career that looks unexpected for you at first, something that you never thought you'd do. it will most likely be a creative, artistic job. it will be a very pleasant job, it won’t even feel like a duty to you as you’ll choose a job that you like and that you’re passionate about. regarding your health, throughout your life you may often come across sudden health problems, illnesses may come out of nowhere.
your 7th house is in aquarius. you do like the idea of marriage and love, yet you need your space as well. you don’t want to feel committed in a relationship, it would be suffocating for you. that could make you appear as emotionally cold or detached, when you’re really not. you just care a lot about your personal growth, especially after your childhood. perhaps, you could even attract mentally unstable partners, they could be a bit moody for example. last but not least, you may meet your future spouse in an unexpected situation. the ruler of the 7th house is in the 6th house: you may meet your future spouse during your everyday life, hence perhaps at work, or just doing anything you do daily, even at the gym for example. you may also meet them in a hospital.
your 8th house is in pisces, with also your sun and mercury placed there. you may have many dreams, you’re very artistic and creative. to reach your state of happiness, you need to turn what you dream about into reality. you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in cancer. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worthy of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. the ruler of the 8th house is in the 6th house: you include taboo, 8th house matters in your day-to-day life; astrology, horror, occult, sex, psychology… or perhaps, you could work in one of those fields. you may also handle someone else’s money, hence you could work in a bank.
your 9th house is in aries, with also mars and venus placed there. you have a joyful, child-like approach to adventures. you strive for freedom, you want to be your own boss. you don’t want others to tell you what to do. in school you were very competitive, you probably studied to get high grades rather than actually learning, you are very motivated to be #1 in everything you do. you may also experience lots of intense events in your life, you may be the type to try extreme things and experiment a lot. people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.
your 10th house is in taurus, with also your gemini saturn placed there. when it comes to work, you’re quite materialistic. you want to earn a great income from your job, you aspire to be wealthy, and luckily with your leo ascendant and aries sun you probably don’t lack ambition. yet, as I’ve already mentioned in the previous sections, you shouldn’t procrastinate nor be lazy, you should break free from your limitations and work hard to visualize and achieve your goals, or it may be hard for you to have a stable career life. you may be drawn to artistic careers, such as designing for example, or even things like cooking or baking. you could be a singer, a rapper, a writer… even a therapist or a counsealor, as well as an actor or comedian. you will probably get to communicate something in your career, you may want to spread a certain message or you may have to interact with other people for your job. you could also be in charge, you may get a very high position in your agency or you could even have your own business, I don't see you having to depend on others ar all. you would do well at a variety of things to be honest!
your 11th house is in gemini. in your friends, you seek mental stimulation. you wouldn’t stand someone too chill, you need someone who’s always up for an adventure. your friends are most likely very witty and intelligent, even though you may not have a stable relationship with them. in fact, they may often change, as you could get bored easily, or in general you just meet a lot of people in your life that it’s natural for you to detach from someone else. same goes for your goals; you want to do different, several things in your life, all different from each other. actually, you have the potential to be great in different fields, but if you don’t decide what matters the most to you, you may come across some troubles, so beware of that. jupiter and the moon are also placed here: you’re the type to change your mind often, probably because you’re constantly coming up with new thoughts and theories since you’re so intellectually active. you seem emotionally cold, and you may actually be like that. in your case though, I see that with your heavy water energy, you feel so much all at once that at one point you need to detach from reality to calm down. even though you have troubles showing this side of you, you’re deeply quite sensitive. you also probably attract people to you easily, you find yourself being liked and appreciated by others. you could easily become very famous and have a very large fandom.
lastly, your 12th house is in leo. this is kind of a tricky placement, as leo rules the self, the ego, and the 12th house rules fears. you could be afriad of being too confident, of feeling worth it, or even just by being in the spotlight. perhaps, you have stage fright. this fear of embracing your persona makes you very insecure, even though you probably don’t show it. also, since your 12th house is the house of dreams, you could often make dreams that involve yourself. you hardly ever dream of someone else, and if you they’re probably your lovers, possibly your friends. you may also make daydreams or sleeping dreams of creative, utopic scenarios.
❤️ love life, soulmates
in love, you attract aquarius, sagittarius, leo, scorpio and virgo. your future spouse will most likely have leo and virgo traits placements, maybe a leo-virgo cusp. they’ll be very similiar to you: precise and hard-working, but also with a warm, loyal heart and a hidden insecurity to them. as I’ve already mentioned before, you may meet them at work, after a big change in your life, during a period of transition. your children will most likely have strong sagittarius traits: they’ll be very daring and brave, but also quite funny and warm. also, they’ll be extremely philosophical and more mature as time goes by. they’ll also have a tender side to them, but that is often overshadowed by their playfulness.
👶🏻 family life
your mother was probably the most dominant figure in your family. she was very intense, even scary at times, especially when she got angry. she might’ve also been very possessive or overprotective. she could have scorpio, taurus, aquarius or capricorn placements in her chart. as for your father, he was more laid-back, but probably very stubborn and also quite protective too. he may have taurus or libra placements in his chart, as well as aries, sagittarius and aquarius. if you have siblings, your relationship with them may be quite pleasant. probably, you used to get along very well with them, it was pleasant for you to hang out and talk to them. they could have libra, aries or taurus placements in their chart.
📊 career
your birth chart has many indicators of potential fame in this lifetime: you have a leo rising, which makes you extremely charismatic. you would make an amazing performer or actress. you also have the degree of long-term fame, 17°, in your midheaven (career), therefore if you pursued a career in the spotlight you would definitely be successful. with your jupiter in the 11th I see that it's easy for you to be liked by the public, you'd surely have lots of fans and receive warm support. you could choose a career that allows you to express your emotions, your creativity. you could work in the beauty industry, for example as a stylist, a model, etc. or maybe you could become a recognized make-up artist or famous hair dresser. you would also do great at music, especially singing, or even dancing, as mars conjunct your midheaven indicates that you'll have to use your whole body for your future job. acting is also suitable for you.
👕 fashion sense, style analysis
you probably love clothes that can show and enhance your body. you may love wearing crop tops, skirts, bralettes, shorts... anything that leaves a part of your body uncovered, yet that still looks elegant and classy. you could also enjoy baggy clothes, paired with fancy accessories and heels. for colors, you go from wearing bold colours like red, burgundy and neon, to darker shades like black, dark blue etc. you probably also love neutral shades, like kaki, beige and so on.
👁 past life, life purpose
in your past existence, you were very in touch with your home, self, and probably marriage too. overall, your past life was very peaceful, especially when it comes to your family. this lifetime, though, you need to focus on letting the world know who you are. you have to build a reputation for your name and feel satisfied with your career, while still taking care of your family.
🤔 major transits analysis / july 25th
you're probably thriving in these days! I see you meeting someone special if you go out, as transit pisces jupiter is currently in your 7th house of relationships. you may meet someone who could become your lover, maybe even a long-term partner. also, the current venus-mars conjunction in leo is exactly conjunct your leo rising. you're probably feeling quite confident and sociable, you feel comfortable with the way you look and think and you may be more motivated and productive than usual.
🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills
the best way for you to manifest is idealizing and acting at the same time. you have both energies combined in your chart, which is great actually! I’d suggest you to first picture what you want in your life, and then do something concrete to manifest it. for example, let’s suppose you want this gucci bag; first, think about it deeply. then, you could try going into a gucci shop and just walk around, maybe even touch that bag. you’ll get results if you believe it! it’s also great to write and read/listen your own positive affirmations, such as 'I love my gucci bag’, 'the gucci bag my mom gave me is amazing’ and so on.
and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)
- libramc xx
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The Family - The People of the Astrological Houses
The most important thing that we do in our experience is to relate with one another. To not be able to relate successfully makes life very difficult for many. I have done thousands and thousands of sky maps for thousands of people over my long years of being a professional astrologer. Probably the single thing that was most important to the person being read was relationships of all varieties. At the end of life, relationships or the lack of them were what was valued most, regretted most and controlled the end of life circumstance the most. At the core of relationship issues are the initial and primary relationships we form with our early family. Here is where our values are established and developed to become the basis for the relationships we build for ourselves in our future. As we mature, we form our own individual family circles plus a myriad of other relationships into which we enter. Family is where we begin our journey to understand and develop all relationships.
In previous articles I have written about the parental axis, the 4th/10th houses of any sky map, as well as the individual maternal and paternal roles. However, the family is not just our parents or lack of them. Each of us has a long, rich history within our family, good guys and bad guys. There is a genetic heritage. Yes we can see the physical characteristics that are handed down through the gene pool. But there is far more than what we inherit from our families on other levels. I am exploring this family astrological heritage step by step through a series of articles.
Any sky map is constructed with the earth (on which we all exist) in the center and the cosmic energy pattern existing around that central core. If we were on the Moon, sky maps would be constructed with the Moon in the center. On Mars, Mars would be in the center, etc. The wheel shape is called "the chart" and the divisions are called "houses." There are 12 divisions of the houses just as there are 12 sign divisions for the zodiac. The signs show mannerisms, expressions and are descriptive in nature. The houses illustrate 12 compartments or arenas of physical experience. Each of those twelve houses therefore must contain numerous issues and also the people in your life. The whole of the wheel maps the whole of your life, every single thing. The trick is to learn to read that sky map successfully, which can be more involved than it seems. Our focus for this article will be on the people represented by the houses, particularly the members of your family.
Houses General house information will help us reach the point where we can see the validity of the people representations. Remember that the 12 houses begin with the ascendant and are listed counter-clockwise from that point around the wheel. Psychologist Carl Jung divided human expression into four categories: intuition, emotion, sensation, and thought. In brief:
· The left half of the wheel (rising planets) represents the development or the interests of self.
· The right half of the wheel (setting planets) represents involvement with others or the interests of others.
· The bottom half of the wheel represents the time from dusk to dawn, the introspective, internalized, reflective self.
· The top half of the wheel represents the time from dawn to dusk, the externalized, participatory, extroverted self.
· The four angles of the house wheel represent the point of beginning for each of the four quadrants of the chart.
· The general activity of all four chart quadrants are in this order from the Yung perspective: intuition, emotion, sensation, thought.
· The ascendant is the angle that begins the personal, subjective first three houses of intuition (1, 2, 3).
· The IC or 4th cusp is the angle that begins the subjective, other involved next three houses of emotion (4, 5, 6).
· The descendant is the angle that begins the external, other involved three houses of sensation (7, 8,9).
· The midheaven is the angle that begins the external, self-interest three houses of thought (10, 11, 12).
These few sentences describe the hemisphere and quadrature influence of houses. In addition,
· The angular house for each quadrant is dynamic active, visible, directly related to the individual.
· The succeedent house follows the angular house in each quadrant (succeeds the angle) and represents establishing, building, formalization of that quadrant's issues.
· The cadent house follows the succeedent house and represents adaptation and promotion.
· In brief, the angular house activates, the succeedent house formalizes, the cadent house promotes the issues of a quadrant.
· The round of the three types of houses begins again at the next angle.
There is one more explanation of the cadent house that will help you understand its role better. Adaptation is the key word here because the dynamic influence of the angle is followed by the establishment influence of the succeedent house, which is a logical sequence for experience. However, it would be difficult to move from building brick by brick (establishment) to the dynamic activity of an angle because form would tend to resist the initiation of something new. The cadent houses bridge this gap between the establishing principal of one grouping of three houses (quadrature). and the dynamic principal at the beginning of the next grouping of three houses (quadrature). Using this rationale:
· The 3rd house bridges (adapts) the subjective self-aware first quadrant as it encounters the subjective awareness of others or emotional quadrant initiated by the 4th house. Intuition gives way to emotion.
· The 6th house bridges (adapts) the subjective awareness of others quadrant as it encounters the objective awareness of others or sensation quadrant initiated by the 7th house. Emotion gives way to sensation.
· The 9th house bridges (adapts) the objective awareness of others quadrant as it encounters the objective awareness of self or thought quadrant initiated by the 10th house. Sensation gives way to thought.
· The 12th house bridges (adapts) the objective awareness of self quadrant as it encounters the subjective awareness of self or intuition quadrant initiated by the 1st house. Thought gives way to intuition.
· The cadent houses are therefore key to understanding the point of flux, adaptation, bridging within the chart and are definitely more important than surface reading would indicate.
If you will add this information on the houses with what you already know about the houses, this material should add a layer to your understanding. Read slowly and re-read as necessary.
People of the Houses Who are the people represented by the houses? Everyone in your life is in that wheel somewhere. We will begin with the four angles and the technique we will use is the derivative house system or what I call "wheeling the houses."
Self Many are aware that the cusp of the first house is called the ascendant and represents the physical presence of the person or entity represented by that sky map. Much of the descriptive reading about a person comes from that cusp and that house as well as that person's personal projection, response to its environment and coping skills. This is how the world sees us, through the filter of the sign on the ascendant and the planets in the first house. In brief, the first house and its cusp represents the most personal point of the physical self, the "me" point of the wheel.
Partner Diametrically opposed to the ascendant is the descendant or 7th house. This is the point of the chart that is farthest from the point of self and may be described as the not self or the shadow self. This point represents the qualities we do not want to embrace and that we project onto another (partner). It is interesting that this represents the point of committed or contractual partnerships whether those relationships are personal (such as marriage) or business (such as partnership). Our committed partner is supposed to represent all the things we do not choose to express. What action do we do at this cusp? We commit to a person, walk into a house, lock the door behind us and attempt collectively to turn the house into a home. The way to a successful conclusion is to learn from that partner and embrace our own lesson. That way we can be with a person because we choose to, not because we must go to school with them as teacher.
Parents The 4th/10th axis (cusps) represents our parents (or lack of them), the parental roles themselves. I want to back up for a moment and mention that this pair of houses is called the security axis and represents our internal and our external security needs. Our parents are supposed to fulfill that role or to at least prepare us for that role. There is a great deal of controversy as to which parent belongs in which of the two houses. I did cover that concept in three previous articles so I will not repeat that information here. Briefly, the 4th house parent's job is to offer internal, subjective security, also known as the family. The 10th house parent's job is to offer or prepare us for external, objective security, also known as making our way in the world successfully. Some people get lucky and the parents fulfill their roles well. Some people are not so lucky because dysfunction exists which can cause the individual lifelong problems. Not every parent is equipped for the role they have chosen. Some people take the lemons they received from their particular spin of the parental wheel and they make lemonade. I encourage that.
So far we have ourselves (ascendant), our partner (descendant), our parents (both, either, or). What about all the other people that comprise our families? Where can they be found in the wheel?
Grandparents The parents have been shown to be the 4th (and its axis partner 10th) from the 1st house of self. Where are the parents of your parents? They must be located in the 4th house from your parent cusp. You always count starting with the house you are questioning, such as the 4th house parent. Put your finger on that house counting "one" then count forward (counter-clockwise) one house at a time until you reach the 4th house of that 4th parent. That would be the 7th house. The same action would be taken for the 10th house parent but it is unnecessary to repeat the exercise, just look to the axis partner of the 7th or the 1st (you). So your grandparents (you have four) are found on the ascendant/ descendant axis. There are only two houses in this count, so two grandparents belong in one house and two belong in the other. It will take a little work on your part to sort this out, but this is where you go to find the answers.
You will probably have genetic hand-me-downs from your grandparents. Two will have great similarities to you, those who are represented by the 1st house and ascendant. Two will seem less related as they occupy your 7th house of not-self. That probably is part of the generation gap. Physical and non-physical characteristics from those grandparents will evidence in you just as you will pass on certain characteristics to your grandchildren. My deceased father's contribution to my kids and my grandkids is a specific sense of humor. My mother's love for dancing and music has shown up as well in my kids and my grandkids as has my paternal grandmother's beautiful singing voice. My parents and their parents are alive and well in the genetic contribution they gave us all within our family. Thank you for the gifts.
Partner's parents and grandparents What if you marry? The 7th house will describe your partner and your marriage. It should tell you what and who you are looking for, what you want someone else to do in place of you, and what you are not comfortable with within yourself. At times you are grateful. At other times you will fight the process (and the person). That partner has parents and so those parents will be the 4th from the 7th (and its partner) and we are again back to the 4th/10th axis in the chart. Hmmm. So far we are getting a large number of people in very few houses. Perhaps that will help explain why astrologers concentrate on the angular houses. Hang in there, we will move outside the 4th/10th axis shortly. Your spouse has grandparents (4) as well and they will be shown by the 4th of the parent or the ascendant/descendent axis. Getting crowded isn't it? Again, this can take some effort but this is where you begin.
Multiple Partnerships All committed relationships are a 7th house issue. It illustrates what you are seeking in a partner because you are avoiding it as yourself. What if you have more than one marriage or partnership? To differentiate, skip the 8th house and go to the 9th house. 7th/9th illustrate your second committed relationship. Skip the 10th and go to the 11th. The 7th/11th is your third committed relationship. More? Busy little beaver aren't you? Do the same routine: skip/choose. Just skip a house, go to the next one and join it to 7th. This combination should describe each individual person it represents.
Children of all varieties Children are thought to be a 5th house issue. These would be natural children of the body (kids) or the mind (creativity). The oldest child is also described by the 5th. The second child would be the 7th along with the 5th. This 7th house child would be most like your spouse. The third child would be the 9th along with the 5th, and so forth around the chart. If you were to have 5 children, the 5th child would be most like you because that child would be represented by the 5th and the 1st houses. Children of your spouse, adopted children, fostering of children are each represented by your 11th house. Same procedure, maintain the base house but do the skip/choose procedure for each individual. Spouses of your children would be shown by the 7th (partner) of the 5th and additional house influence (child).
One last "child" that may be found in the 5th house could be small pets. Large animals such as horses or elephants are read from the 12th house. We all know people who treat their pets as a child with wraps or costumes, who may eat from your plate, considered a member of the family, be the recipient of lots of baby talk, etc. I am not talking about the ordinary affectionate position of a pet within a family. There should be plenty of emotion and caring for any pet. As you know, some pet owners go beyond even that. With some you may find the 5th house is active or gives a better description of their pet, particularly if there are no natural children or are there are children but they are not available to the person. The pet becomes their child.
Grandchildren A child of your child, your grandchild, is the 5th house from the 5th house or the 9th house for all grandchildren and particularly the first one. Again the skip/choose procedure applies for each additional grandchild The child of your spouse belongs with the 5th from the 7th or the 11th house as its base and skip/choose applies here as well.
Siblings and Partners Do you have siblings? They are a 3rd house issue, all of them. However, we must differentiate for individuality. All siblings and particularly the oldest one are 3rd house. The next in age is the 3rd and the 5th in combination. The next in age is the 3rd and the 7th in combination. Each succeeding sibling would maintain the 3rd and add the next 2nd house skip/choose jump (skip the 8th and go to the 9th). This is how you would look at siblings in general and specific siblings in particular. The partners of your siblings are shown by the house opposite the one chosen for that sibling.
Siblings of Spouse and Their Partners If you were seeking information on the siblings of your spouse, look to the 3rd of the 7th, which is the 9th. This is often referred to as the general in-law house as well. Again the 9th would be all siblings of your spouse particularly the oldest one. Do the same skip count as your own direct siblings, the second oldest sibling of your spouse would be the 9th/11th, and so forth. The partners of your partner's siblings are showy by the house opposite the one chosen for the siblings of the spouse.
Cousins, Aunts and Uncles of all varieties Cousins fall into the same house arrangement as your siblings (3rd). A spouse's cousins fall into the same house arrangement as their siblings (9th). Your own aunts and uncles have their basis in the 6th house, same counting arrangement. Your spouse's aunts and uncles have their basis in the 12th house, same counting arrangement.
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The One Where Caroline Rides A Horse And The Salvatores Win Top Chef
many moons ago, i was lucky enough to be involved in a massive writing ficathon project with a handful of absolutely talented writers. i stumbled upon it by chance when i was traversing my dusty, abandoned livejournal, laughed to myself way too many times, and decided that i simply must share it here. so without further ado...
Title | A Chinese Whispers Fic; Or, The One Where Caroline Rides A Horse And The Salvatores Win Top Chef
Authors | catteo, swirlsofblue, cranmers, jane_wanderlust, kwritten, bogwitch, kachera, steph2311, ovariesofsteel, nereemac, lizwontcry, jeremy_finch, elenarain and waltzmatildah
Artist | pamsblau
Fandom | The Vampire Diaries
Characters/Pairings | Rebekah, Damon, Stefan, Caroline, Klaus, Elijah, Finn, Bonnie, Elena, Jeremy, Katherine, Alaric (Klaus/Caroline, Rebekah/Damon, Katherine/Jeremy, Bonnie/Finn)
Rating | MA
Word Count | 10000
Summary | This fic was written by a team of authors who were only given the several hundred most recently written words to work from each time they added a new section. It doesn’t make sense, it’s not supposed to make sense! It’s supposed to be crack, and it is! Crack, glorious crack! The title says it all, really…
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ONE: The Part Where Caroline Rides A Horse And Rebekah Rides Damon
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The clock on the kitchen wall tells him it’s four twenty seven. AM or PM is anyone’s guess as the little hand fails to tick a languid journey around the circular face. Damon makes a brief mental note: must buy batteries.
Amends: rechargeable batteries.
From the inky black that still shrouds the windows, drapes pulled slightly askew as he wanders back into the living room, he guesses the harsh light of morning remains hours out of reach.
He takes to cataloguing the damage done as a means to pass the time. A resounding crack in the plasterboard where his shoulder-blades had connected roughly with a support beam. Jagged fragments of vase and lamp and picture frame, shattered, confetti-like, along the length of one hallway. He winces as he bends to collect the larger shards. Notes he can no longer tell the Ming from the Portland and offers up a soft sigh of relief that they’d only been replicas of the real things.
There’s a dent in a silver serving tray that looks suspiciously like the curve of Rebekah’s ass. Which is odd because he doesn’t remember them making it as far as the liquor cabinet. Which is empty so…
Hmm. Okay.
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“What are you doing?” He double-takes at the sight of her, naked and dishevelled at the base of the staircase. Imagines glass shards pricking at the soles of her feet and shudders at the inevitability of bloodstains on his oriental carpets.
“I’m vacuuming.” His reply swallowed by the airy roar of the device’s motor.
“It’s the middle of the night.”
He doesn’t really see her point. Tells her.
“I don’t really see your point.”
“Come to bed.”
Which is funnier than it should be but only because, by the smell of her, she’s been rolling around between Stefan’s sheets since they parted ways at the top of the stairs. Naked and breathless and, admittedly, kind of sore. Jesus.
“We could have sex again,” she offers. As though she can read his mind.
And he must admit, the thought of fucking an Original in his brother’s bed is seven levels of tempting, but…
“I’m vacuuming.” Because this mess won’t clean itself up. And it’s not like he can trust anyone else to do it for him. At least, not properly…
She pouts, but then…
“I’ve never used one of those before…”
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With a degree of reluctance that is only almost embarrassing, he finds himself handing over control. And when exactly was it that he became this person? This person that could enthusiastically share cleaning tips with his naked sexual conquests.
He thinks there must be something about this particular one and the almost wistful way in which she’d regarded the newest member of his collection. The Dyson DC39. Purchased especially because Ric has allergies… Also, the lifetime (heh) HEPA filter warranty and the latest in Radial Cyclone technologies had also been a top selling point.
But she’s not quite doing it right he notes. Her sweeping motion with the nozzle entirely too haphazard to ensure optimum debris collection. And he arcs his chest around her bare back then, slides one arm along the length of hers and grips the handle just below where her fingers are tightly entwined. Guides the head of the cleaner into a more fluid motion that is easier to maintain.
“Oh,” he hears her whisper. Soft against the side of his neck. “I think I understand it now…”
Which is lucky.
Because that’s the moment Caroline chooses to ride in.
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“Is that a - ”No. Ridiculous, he thinks. I’m obviously drunk.
Vaguely, he feels his grip loosen on Rebekah’s hand. Notes out of the corner of his eye that she keeps up the fluid, efficient motion he’d taught her moments ago but is too busy gaping at Vampire Barbie 2.0 sitting atop her rather large black horse. Side-saddle, he notes. As if it matters.
“Yes. It is a horse. No, you’re not drunk.” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, maybe you are drunk. But this is still me. On a horse.”
“In my living room.” Ask him later, and he’ll tell you this is the most hilarious scenario to be part of in almost a century. Right now he’s too busy thinking about the possibility of the animal making a mess on his new Persian rug.
Because there is no other logical action that he can think of, Damon rubs a hand over his face and heads for the liquor cabinet. He’s almost there when he remembers it’s disappointingly empty. Luckily, he remembers he keeps a bottle hidden in his room especially for the rare instance in which he runs out downstairs.
“Excuse me.” He doesn’t wait for an answer before speeding up the stairs.
“Nice ass, Damon!”
“Bite me, blondie!”
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A still naked Rebekah continues vacuuming as if nothing awkward has happened. “Well. I see Niklaus is going for big and bold. He always did seem to overcompensate.”
Caroline laughs, despite herself. “What the hell am I supposed to do with a horse? And why are you naked?”
“That’s rather obvious, isn’t it? You ride it. Which works as an answer for both questions, doesn’t it?”
“But I have nowhere to keep a horse. Or money to pay someone else to keep it for me. Or the desire to own a horse! They’re pretty, yes, but that’s it! When your crazy sociopath hybrid brother asked me if I liked the horse I was looking at, I didn’t think it was so he could make up his mind to buy me one!”
The Original gives up on the vacuum when she hears the younger blonde’s hysterics. Notes, rather proudly, that she’s managed to make the carpet look quite like new. “Caroline, this happens to be a very beautiful horse. You happen to look fabulous riding it, as much as it pains me to say, but if neither of those things matter to you, then just give it back.”
A rather loud plop, followed by a rather strong odour, serves to punctuate Rebekah’s words of wisdom.
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Rebekah rolls her eyes as she realises that it doesn’t matter how proficient she is at naked housework, the Persian rug is done for. Damon’s going to be furious. He still hasn’t gotten over Stefan’s sorority girls breaking his crystal decanter during a particularly vigorous game of ‘Twister’ last month. Apparently he was saving it for an especially significant dramatic moment. She realises she’s probably going to have to keep him occupied. Also, she really needs to find out what ‘Twister’ is.
“Where are you going? You can’t leave me!” Caroline’s looking a little wild around the eyes.
Rebekah wrinkles her nose in distaste as she navigates her way around the rug. “I’m going to distract Damon. You should probably get rid of this. And maybe that.” She gestures vaguely towards the horse. “No hurry. We’ll be a while. I’m sure that Nik would be only too happy to keep you…” She pauses a beat. “Busy.”
She blurs upstairs to the sound of Caroline’s new horse snorting in perfect tandem to Caroline herself. Rebekah gives a passing thought to the parquet floors as she goes – manure is so tough to remove from wood. She’s spared any further rumination on the finer points of housekeeping by Damon, wrapping his arm around her waist and tackling her to the bed.
“God, you’re sexy when you vacuum.” Damon lifts an eyebrow, pouts slightly, picks up a twenty-five year aged malt and slowly pours it over her body. Busies himself for the next twenty minutes licking it off. It’s the most fun Rebekah’s had since she learned that vinegar could remove lime-scale. Damon’s teaching her a lot. Her back arches as Damon buries a head between her legs, fangs bared. She forgets all about housework.
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Meanwhile, downstairs, Caroline is finding that there are a lot of things that a horse won’t do. Make a tight turn in a crowded sitting room for example. There are all kinds of things trodden into the carpet and she decides that it’s probably best to leave whilst she still can. The last thing she needs is an irate Damon sprinting down the stairs. The back view was quite enough to be coping with for one day.
Besides, she has an original hybrid to deal with.
She aims the horse towards the French doors and discovers, as they crash through a window, that the steering is nowhere near as good as her Dodge. She’s not sure if the screaming coming from Damon’s room is pleasure or fury. Decides not to stick around to find out. She flicks the reigns and feels a thrill rush through her as muscles bunch and flow under her, racing towards Klaus’ tastefully renovated home.
READ MORE ON LJ
#tvd fanfiction#tvd crack fic#klaroline#debekah#keremy#hannah writes things#WITH THE HELP OF MANY OTHER PEOPLE!!!!#oh livejournal days
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Can you write a scene about pete's insecurity coming from his little sis being dead(like leaving him)? and in kam he mentioned that all the persons he loved leaves him And kao didnt know about his sis but when he does he gathers the courage to let their relationship out and comforting pete too? something like this? sorry its a mess..
“Why does it matter so much?” Kao asked. Pete went from soft to fuming in seconds. Like pedal to metal, zero to sixty. Any form of smile was lost on his face, being replaced by a seething anger. Pete took a deep breath.
“Why doesn’t it matter to you? My father knows. Why can’t we tell your mother? Wouldn’t that make things easier? It’d especially make things easier with Non. He’d back off if you’d just tell him that we’re together. He keeps pursuing because he thinks that we’re just friends.” Yeah, that last bit out of your mouth, Pete, it’s not true. The little shit knows what’s going on, and he’s going to pressure Kao into leaving you.
“I don't think Non really likes me that way.”
“Are you that fucking deluded, Kao?” Pete’s voice was raising. “Are you that fucking innocent? I don't think so. So get your head out of your ass and face this!” Kao looked affronted. Pete reached for a hand and squeezed it. “Kao, I couldn’t stand it if you left me. My sister…” Kao heard sparse mentions of his sister. How she left with his mother, leaving Pete behind with his father. Pete grew accustomed to living with his Dad so he didn’t think much about wanting to see his mother or his sister. This was probably due to the resentment he had towards mostly his mother- the resentment he felt from feeling abandoned by her. “My sister…” Pete gulps. “She didn’t just leave. She died. Then my mom left because her and Dad were having issues between each other from coping with losing a child. I haven’t seen my mother in ten years?” Pete wasn’t even sure himself. “My father stepped up, took care of me because he remembered that there was still another child in the family. This grief doesn’t excuse my stupid jealous reactions,” Pete started an apology, “but I can’t be without you. I’ve already lost too much. Making you and your Mom a part of my family is everything I want. This is why I don't like Non. What if he convinces you away from me? What if suddenly you do wake up one day and choose the brat?”
Kao put Pete’s hands on his waist and he gripped those defined shoulders in his. “Thank you for telling me this. Thank you for talking. Perhaps, Non is flirting with me. I’m just afraid he’ll use our relationship to blackmail us or people we know just like Mint when she sent that picture of us to your father. Even your Dad thinks that we should keep this a secret.”
“I never fucking cared when he said that. I was ecstatic when he agreed to us dating. He had no objections and I loved him for that. He can fly to the moon if he really thinks we’ll keep this a secret forever, because no matter what happens I want to be with you, Kao.” Pete yanked him closer, their noses now touching. Kao’s fingertips dig into his bare shoulders.
“Tomorrow morning we can tell my mother.” Kao firmly states then lets out a sigh.
“You mean it?” Pete tried to hold back the levee. It didn’t work. His eyes watered and soon enough he felt like a fucking clown with a tear stained face. Kao wiped the tears away. He pulled Pete into a hug by the nape of his neck. Pete’s lips smashed into a bare shoulder and Kao felt a few tears wet him. Pete sniffled and wiped at his nose. Kao grabs him by the face.
“My choice is always you.” Kao told him. “So tomorrow morning, we’ll go tell my mother.”
“Why not now?” Pete tugged a hand towards the door. Kao tugs back.
“I have other things on my mind,” Kao bit his lip.
“Oh? I see.” Pete pushed Kao onto the bed. It always started like this. Pete pouncing and then suddenly Kao was on top. When Pete rolled them, Kao laced fingers together, pressing Pete’s hands into the bed. He leaned down, but Pete squirms a hand from his grasp to place a finger to his lips.
“You mean it? Tomorrow morning, you’ll tell your mom we are boyfriends?” His finger falls from Kao’s lip, ever so slightly flicking over that plush (yeah, that’s a good word) bottom lip.
“Yes, Pete. I’ll tell her. Just let me kiss all night first. The morning will be here before we know it.” Pete chuckled as those plump lips- (yeah, plump is a good word too) chased his into a kiss.
[Aw, screw it. Let’s write the morning after too]
“Mom,” Kao said as he led her to the couch in the living room. “Pete and I have something to tell you.”
“Finally!” She exclaimed. “I was getting really tired of prodding you with the word girlfriend. How many times would I have to ask before you told me to shut up, Mom, I have a boyfriend? Apparently, a lot. Finally.” she cupped Kao’s face. “You don't think I notice how the two of you are when we eat at the table. Or how Pete spends a lot of time here? Not going to tell you about the noises I heard walking passed the bedroom last night..we’ll leave that alone.” Pete tries to contain laughter, but fails. Kao’s mother turns her attention to him. “You!” Pete stops laughing.
“Yes, mom?”
“You’re lucky you know that?”
“Oh, I know how lucky I am. Your son is beautiful inside and out.” Kao felt his face turn red and his ears light on fire.
“Glad you understand that. Be aware that I have my eye on you Pete, but I can see how much the two of you care about each other. It’s all that should matter. Those feelings for each other, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.” Pete gave Kao a pointed look. Kao figured his mind went straight to Non and how that’s the next hurdle they’d have to jump.
“I’m going to work. ” Kao’s mom announced. Kao kissed her on the cheek and led her to the door. Pete confidently latched his arms around Kao from behind as they waved goodbye. Kao shuts the door, turns around and leans against it. Pete eyes him up and down.
“Oh, take back that thought! We have to leave soon too.”
“What’s time but a fabricated concept?” Pete’s intelligent response made Kao cackle.
“This is why you’re a terrible student.”
“Punish me,” Pete challenged him. Kao cocked his head. What a new arrangement? Pete giving him control? Kao could get used to this. He was talking to long, though, so Pete feverishly kisses him. Why’d it feel so brand new? So freeing. There was no going back. There was no one else that Kao wanted to kiss like this. Kao finally understood why Pete disliked hiding the relationship so much. This-this was much better, because once they tore themselves a part they got ready for classes. Hand in hand they met their friends at the Engineer’s canteen.
June as usual was the first to speak, “I knew it!” He pointed at them. “It’s about damn time.” Pete proudly smiled and kissed Kao’s hand. Kao pursed his lips, not sure how he felt about the rush of pleasure that surged through him. Shit, it’d be hard to contain that from now on. How is that he wanted Pete now more than ever before? Kao sat down as Pete went to get them some food. Kao laid a head to his shoulder as he watched Pete prep the plates.
“Really?” June piped up. “It’s like that meme,” June prepares a dramatic scene. “Right here? In front of my salad!” Pete picked up an empty bottle on the table and threw it at him. “Oi! I mean it in a joking way. Carry on.” Kao’s head hadn’t moved from Pete’s shoulder and under the table a hand started moving up and down his thigh.
“Babe.” Pete mutters with surprise. Kao leans up and whispers in his ear, “This morning wasn’t enough.”
“What’d he say?” June mimicked eating popcorn with fascination. He ducked when another bottle was thrown. “Really what’d he say?”
“None of your business,” Pete snapped. “There’s one more bottle. Do I have to throw it?”
“No,” Sandee interjected. “That one is not empty.” She took it from the table. “All right so Pete and Kao are dating. Big whoop! The most important thing here is, do we each have our part of the project done?”
“Meh, studying.” Pete’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. A hand still rubbed his thigh. “Well, this’ll look obvious.” He stood and grabbed Kao by the hand.
“Where you two going?” June asked after them. Sandee smacked him upside the head.
“June, think about it.”
“Oh!” He exclaimed. “Do you think they’ll have the project done too?”
“Ha!” Sandee’s laugh echoes in the canteen.
#petekao#dark blue kiss#really they just need to be together freely#and Pete needs learn how to trust#despite people leaving him#whichever happened#because did I watch all of KMA#honestly don't know....??#but we'll pretend this is a reason why Pete's so jealous#abandonment issues#trauma he has only partly overcome#but it still can't excuse his actions#so here in the fic I had Pete apologize#which is something I want to see in the show too#fic requests#this one got long...
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birth chart reading for @lumieredautomne
hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.
🦋 chart shape, dominants
your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. mars has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around achieving your goals and being assertive. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, love life and also your m self-esteem, communication and thinking style.
your dominant planets are jupiter, uranus and neptune. you are an extremely lucky person, if you keep a positive mindset you're able to manifest anything beneficial in your life. you're also particularly intelligent and open-minded, and you could be quite artistic and creative as well.
your dominant sign is sagittarius. you have an amazing sense of humor, your personality is so bubbly that it naturally draws people towards you. you're also extremely open-minded, you rarely have prejudices. you have a knack for spirituality, religion, philosophy... anything that can stimulate you mentally.
your dominant element is fire. you have a warm heart, even though it may be covered by your confidence and independence. in fact, you always strive for the first place. people may be intimidated by your presence, as you're a serious competitor. thanks to this competitive nature of yours you may be very positive and optimistic, making you a good and supportive friend/partner.
🌎 ascendant in pisces, 23° / 3rd decan ruled by neptune and pluto
you appear as a very genuine and honest person. you have a reassuring aura about you, which could attract people to you. in fact, you seem and sound like a healer, hence broken people may find comfort in you. you’re an hopeless romantic, and this may make you look sort of naive, almost childlike. you feel the need to revolution the world, there’s an hidden rebel in you that needs change and justice. yet, you struggle to take action. it’s like your assertiveness is stuck deep inside of you, and you can’t take it out. hence, you cope with this through escapism; you may oversleep, overwork, drink, daydream, do drugs… anything that allows your mind to travel away from your sense of justice. you always want to be seen likeable, hence you may act differently based on the situation you’re in. you’re kind of a chameleon. in fact, pisces usually adopts some characteristics from all the signs, that’s why it’s considered confusing, or even fake. identity issues are also common with this placement, as you may feel the need to be part of a group, yet you can’t. you’re too complex to be part of only one category, you can’t classify yourself. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look on them, and they’re probably very big and round. possibly, they’re also hooded. your skin may be naturally pale, or at least there’s something light on your face, even like some tiny sparkles in your eyes. you may also have a naturally good skin, and I’ve noticed that pisces rising people tend to have distinctive hands? for example, you may have long fingers or beautiful, natural long nails. also, you could have a button nose and an overall long face, with a pointy chin and a wide forehead.
pisces ascendant square sagittarius venus: this aspect makes you more sociable and prone to interact with people. you’re also most probably very attractive, people are naturally drawn to you. the downside of this placement is that you may suffer from self-esteem issues, as you really care about others’ impression of you. maybe you’re a little bit clumsy too. it’s easy for you to gain popularity, but be careful as it’s not always good. popularity brings scandals too, so people you see in your everyday life could possibly start gossips around you. the good thing about this aspect is that you emanate loyalty, so you usually attract and choose loyal and trust-worthy partners. this placement may also bring issues and problems in marriage with your future partner, even though I don’t think it’s your case. your venus is well-aspected, so I don’t think there’ll be serious problems.
🌞 sun in aquarius, 12° / 2nd decan ruled by uranus and mercury
this is the most intelligent aquarius decan. even though you may face some insecurities, you’re typically a strong-minded person. you strive for independence, as you focus your existence on your witty intellect. you have the ability to achieve great things, as your mind is literally revolutionary, even though you may struggle to make those projects concrete. a downside to this placement is that you may not give enough importance to your words; you’re brutally honest, and you may often hurt someone with your thoughts. even though you may appreciate it, as you don’t like it when people aren’t straight-forward, you probably don’t realize the effect your words can have on others. you’re also quite stubborn, and you take particular pride about your ideals. you may feel offended when people disagree with you. or maybe, you don’t even say your opinions, because you could be aware of the weight of your words and you don’t want to hurt others, or you’re afraid of being judged. people may define you as cold, but you’re really not.
aquarius sun conjunct aquarius mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, with your pisces energy you are naturally good at writing poetry, songs or even fantasy stories. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.
🌙 moon in pisces, 11° / 2nd decan ruled by neptune and the moon
hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.
pisces moon square sagittarius jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable.
pisces moon conjunct pisces saturn: you tend to hide your emotions under a severe, strict mask. the way you approach others is influenced by your sense of defensiveness, making you lack genuinity. this comes from a fear of intimacy and dealing with your inner, deeper self. it's like you're hiding from your own emotions, so of course you will never be able to express them properly if you're not aware of them. to learn saturn’s lessons, you need to overcome your trust issues. find someone you truly trust and open up to them; it’s only a small step, but once you become more comfortable with someone else, you’ll start feeling better in your own shoes too, trust me.
🗣 mercury in aquarius, 16° / 2nd decan ruled by uranus and mercury
mercury is exalted in the sign of aquarius, so this is definitely a beneficial placement! you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice.
aquarius mercury opposite leo mars: this placement makes you slightly more aggressive with your words. as a result, it makes you look more assertive and almost bossy. you could often attack people with words when you get angry, and you can get quite provocative too, even though it may happen in a more passive way. you still have your libra mercury’s elegance and diplomacy in you, after all. even though you’re quite controversial for the way you speak, you’re still very sensitive to others’ words. your self-esteem tends to find its base mostly on others’ opinion about you, and you always look for reassurance from your loved ones. to deal with this hard aspect, you need to think before you speak. if you have troubles understanding others’ feelings, just think about how you’d love to be treated. patience will just come naturally to you.
❤️ venus in sagittarius, 26° / 3rd decan ruled by jupiter and the sun
people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.
☄️ mars in leo, 26° / 3rd decan ruled by the sun and mars
praise and success are what motivate you the most. your main goal in life is being praised for achieving your goals, you wouldn't feel motivated without compliments. therefore, you put energy in things that make you feel confident and noticed, as you enjoy being seen. for example, if you feel confident being well-dressed, you could spend hours in the closet to look how you want. you are very creative, you get an energy boost through creative outlets, and hence your hobbies (reading, writing, dancing, singing, drawing, etc.) recharge your battery. this placement also makes you very extra, especially with people you're close to. you may gesticulate a lot, you could as well enjoy mimicking others' voices. you're basically very dramatic, you seem like an actor when you react, but at least you're very fun and entertaining to watch and listen. this placement, it gives you a strong charisma that, and combined with your pisces rising, it makes it impossible not to notice you. you could overreact from time to time, and you may also be particularly pessimistic, but above all you appear as someone very bold and strong-minded.
leo mars square sagittarius pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or every authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, making you extremely dedicated.
🏡 houses
your 1st house is in pisces. you are like a chameleon, you're able to detect others' vibe and act in a pleasant way for them, you probably get along with strangers easily. you're very sensitive, but also slightly insecure. in your first years, I assume you had troubles embracing your appearance. you may have felt ashamed of it, and you self-esteem was low. you may have amazing artistic talents and a large imagination. yet, you may often live too much in your imagination. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 11th house: people may see you as very friendly and original, maybe also mysterious. this placement enhances your aquarius energy even more, and hence you may also seem very distracted, perhaps even a bit moody. you have a poweful vibe around you, and you may also have a sixth sense or acute intuition.
your 2nd house is in aries. aries is ruled by mars, the planet of action. placed in the house of money and self-esteem, you could make money easily and fast. you could find yourself receiving money from others quite often, or perhaps you're able to get jobs that allow you to earn a decent income. you may also react easily to diets, workouts, but also when you overeat. you may both gain and lose weight easily. possibly, you could speak very fast and / or loud and you may even suffer from hyperthyroidism. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 6th house: your future career will allow you to earn a great amount of money. you could be quite wealthy already, or perhaps you'll get so wealthy that you'll gain a reputation for it. you may work with money, so for example as a notary, or even with food or aesthetics / arts. you may also make money from helping people, therefore you could work in the health field for example, or even with animals.
your 3rd house is in taurus. this placement makes you extremely good at making your ideas concrete. for example, if you have in your head the melody of a song, you don’t just hum to it, nor you daydream about how it may turn out. you actually write it down and play it, and it’s good for you to have such a placement with your heavy pisces energy. you can also gain money from these hobbies. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 10th house: your job may involve communication, you'll most probably interact with other people in your future career. or maybe, you might write stuff, hence you could be a writer, a journalist, etc. possibly, you would do well as a therapist too. also, you could often have to do short trips to reach your college / work place, perhaps in a bus for example.
your 4th house is in gemini. you’ve always been a smart kid, that’s probably what your childhood revolved around. you most likely were a diligent student, and your parents took a lot of pride in your marks. you might have been really chatty with your friends, and maybe you used to get scolded because of that. your parents could have been a little strict or moody with you, therefore you probably used to argue often, but nothing too serious. I don't see you having any kind of trauma from your home environment. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 11th house: you could find yourself having many childhood friends, or friends younger than you. also, they're most likely from your same country / city too, and you may be quite similiar and see eye to eye on a lot of matters. they may be very affectionate and sensitive, and they'll help you dealing with your insecurities.
your 5th house is in cancer. when it comes to light romance, you mainly look for someone caring and affectionate who can help you to grow up and make new experiences. you’re attracted to hobbies that let you express your feelings and emotions. e.g, you may create very personal art or poetry. you may also prefer spending your spare time by yourself at home rather than going out with your friends. it's your way of relaxing and expressing your feelings, you may have hobbies that meet your emotional needs. the ruler of the 5th house, the moon is in the 12th house: you may have spiritual hobbies, that is meditation, yoga, tarots, astrology, religion, etc. you're also most likely an homebody, you don't like clubbing and going out, you prefer staying by yourself or with your loved ones.
your 6th house is in leo. you approach routine and work in a joyful manner. you are productive, but your routine is never boring. you also need to include your hobbies and creativity in your day-to-day life, or you wouldn't be at your best state. mars is also sitting here: your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, especially considering your heavy pisces dominance: pisces are all about imagination, creativity, vacation, relax... if you work too much, you don't have time to travel with your mind, you can't relax and have fun. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time.
your 7th house is in virgo. when it comes to love you’re quite picky, and you want your future spouse to match your definition of perfection. hence, you may start losing interest in them as soon as they commit a mistake, even if it’s not serious. because of that, you may often experience break-ups, or even separation/divorce, even though I don't think it's your case; mercury is both well-aspected and well-placed, so I wouldn't worry if I were in you. you're definitely more romantic than the typical aquarius sun. as your pisces moon confirms, you need to feel tied to someone to function at your best. you want everybody to like you, you fear rejection and being humiliated. your reputation is very important for you, and that could lead you to be extremely insecure when others judge you negatively, you're easy to influence. lastly, you could find yourself often thinking about your relationships with others, and also you try to be extremely kind with your words.
your 8th house is in libra. you have a very balanced approach to matters like secrets and sex. for you it’s all about giving and receiving; for example, you may only open up to a friend when they also reveal their deepest secrets to you. you don’t want to feel below them, it’s a sort of mechanism to feel as if you have control of the situation. possibly, you may also experience a lot karma around your relationships. you could date people from your past lives for example, hence your soulmates. or perhaps, when you commit something wrong in a relationship, it'll most likely come back to you. yet, these moments help you becoming more mature and transforming into the best version of yourself. the ruler of the 8th house is in the 10th house: in your job, you'll probably end up dealing with other people's affairs. that means that you could become a notary, work in a bank...
your 9th house in scorpio. you literally give all of yourself in school, even though you might have had some troubles. maybe there were a few bullies/mean girls that caused you troubles, or perhaps your parents influenced your studies too much and you ended up choosing something that you didn't like. yet, jupiter and pluto here indicate that school helps you transforming and growing up. you probably learnt or will learn a big lesson in school that will help you appreciate yourself more for who you are. overall, you went through major transformations during your school life, which helped you to find who you are today. maybe, you’ve changed class/school often, as you frequently changed your mind about the subjects you wanted to study. the ruler of the 9th house is in the 9th: you’re an open-minded person who’s probably into history, literature/poetry, philosophy etc. you may also have a knack for studying different languages and travelling a lot, as they help you increase your creativity and hence your inner child.
your 10th house is in sagittarius. you may gain a reputation for being very joyful and open-minded. you could possibly work abroad, speaking a different language. you may also have the chance to work in a school environment, and deal with people from any country or culture. venus is also sitting here. it indicates that you find pleasure and energy in work, it's your way to feel free and independent, even it you may work under a boss. it's also where you put most of all your energy, you're very goal-oriented and you strive to be the best at whatever you do. your future career will most likely feel very light to you; you could use your creativity to work, hence you could be a singer, a stylist, an artist, a writer... perhaps, you could even work with children in some way, maybe as a teacher since your mc is in sagittarius, or maybe you could work as a stylist as well. anything creative would be suitable for you. last but not least, you may often date your co-workers, or you may meet your lovers or future spouse at your workplace.
your 11th house is in capricorn, with a stellium involving neptune, uranus, the sun and mercury. you’re very picky with your friends, and you tend to be quite serious in friendships and social interactions. you may crack some jokes, but you take loyalty very seriously. at first, you may also find yourself not having many friends. you only started to get to know new people while growing up. the 11th house is also the house of goals, and you work hard to achieve them. you're very assertive from this point of view, you'd do anything to make your dreams come true. you love working in groups, especially if you're the leader. once someone becomes special to you, you'll do anything to protect them. you're an hardworking person who dreams big, you may be fond of manifesting and you hope to achieve all of your many goals.
your 12th house is in aquarius, with also your moon and saturn. there's an hidden rebel inside of you who has the desire to change the world. yet, you can't seem to free this part of yourself. you're a very spiritual person. you may have the natural talent to read tarots, birth charts... you may also have strange, prophetic dreams. in addition, you may feel uncomfortable diving into your feelings at first, you may tend to be a bit too rational and cold during your first years. you may keep your feelings for yourself, but growing up you'll learn that it's fine to show your true self to others as well, and you'll value your mental health more. you may often find the answers to fight your fears into spiritual outlets, such as astrology for example.
❤️ love life, soulmates
in love, you attract virgo, gemini, sagittarius, pisces and cancer. your future spouse will most probably have pisces and sagit placements. they could be quite self-centered at first, they'll have an exceptional charisma and they will care a lot about their appearance. yet, there's an hidden side to them that is very attached to family and affection, just like you. basically, you'll see eye to eye on a lot of matters. you could meet in a fun situation; it could be at a party, for example, or any kind of social gathering. maybe, you may even meet them online. they are most likely from your same country, and they could even be one of your childhood friends. your children will have cancer; they’ll be very fond of you, and will need lots of care and affection. they could be crybabies, but they’ll be very attached to their family. also, they will be very mature yet playful, they'll be very interesting individuals with strong morals.
👶🏻 family life
your mother is a very intelligent person, she's probably very talkative and witty, and she also has a nice sense of humor, even though she could be a bit immature or self-centered at times. she most likely has leo or aquarius placements in her chart, together with libra and / or taurus. your father is also very funny and sociable, he's probably quite extroverted even though he might be more strict than your mother. he’s probably interested in foreign languages/culture. he may be an aquarius, a pisces, a libra or any other earth sign. if you have siblings, they probably have taurus, libra, or earth placements. perhaps, you have an amazing relationship with them, you hardly argue and you're all very mature.
📊 career
you have probably a creative talent to you that could make you quite successful. you would also make a great singer, actress, writer, model, photographer... you'll basically get to communicate something in an artistic, creative way. overall, you want a job where you don't really have to depend on others. actually, you probably strive to be your own boss. you may also have to work abroad, or at least you'll get to travel for your job. you may have to interact with foreign people or even speak foreign languages, and you may also make a good teacher/professor, in general anything that has to do with history and literature.
👚 fashion sense, style analysis
your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.
👁 past life, life purpose
during your past life, you probably didn’t have as many challenges as in this life. you most likely used to be very independent and stable; perhaps, you were rich, hence you didn’t really need to rely on others to survive. in this lifetime, you need to put your independency aside, you need to trust people and develop strong bonds with them. your path to luck and abundance may be long and steep, but you may achieve great personal success in this lifetime thanks to your relationships with others. you just need to work on your self-esteem and have stable finances without being too materialistic, you shouldn’t over-indulge. money is important, but you probably won't struggle with that in this lifetime, so focus on feeling comfortable with others. you may be meant to marry someone rich, or perhaps you're going to get an inheritance.
🤔 major transits analysis / july 10th
transit saturn is currently conjunct your natal sun in the 11th house; in these days, you could be feeling a little down. perhaps you feel unlucky and unmotivated, you may feel as if your efforts are never repaid. you could also be feeling insecure about your personality and / or physical appearance, and hence you prefer staying by yourself alone. on the other hand, transit jupiter being conjunct your natal moon makes you feel more at peace with yourself, you probably prefer being alone in these last days. you could be feeling quite needy of affectionate, but also quite moody, therefore be careful to avoid arguments.
🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills
with your water placements, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.
and this is it! thank you for booking a reading, I hope it resonated with you :)
-libramc xx
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Weekly Readings (9/15)
Weekly 1 card (or more) tarot readings for the signs. Check Sun, Moon, Rising. Predictions, advice, and general stuff to look out for. Come back at the end of the week and see if things make sense!
Disclaimer: This is a collective reading and therefore may not feel applicable to each individual. If the message does not resonate, it was simply not meant for you. Some signs will have longer messages than others. This is up to what the cards want to say.
Decks used: The Golden Tarot (Liz Dean) and Healing With the Faeries Oracle Cards (Doreen Virtue)
Aries - The Fool (reversed)
Are you rushing into things? You’re being a little reckless and not noticing how it’s impacting others. You can’t ever settle down if you’re constantly looking for adventure. If you find someone you genuinely like, maybe try and bring them along. Just watch out for risky behaviors. The excitement tends to be prioritized over your safety. Be careful when you’re running around because accidents are looming. Getting tired of old traditions? Explore new ones but don’t jump in until you’ve done your research. If you’re feeling restless take up more physical habits. A run around your block will do you some good.
Lesson of the Week: Body Movement
Taurus- Eight of Swords (reversed)
You had this card a few weeks ago but now it’s in reverse. You’re going to need to stand up for yourself. You might be caught in an environment where there’s unrelenting criticism to the point it can edge on abuse. Be strong and hold your ground. Release the anxiety that surrounds you when you think about doing so. Standing up for yourself is something you owe to yourself. If a job is making you unhappy, you can choose to walk away. Your abundance will flow once you’ve reached a place of positive energy. Save some money for the future. Speak to someone about the sadness that’s building up. Seek help. There’s courage in doing so.
Lesson of the Week: Kindness
Gemini - Page of Wands
Good news is coming your way! Watch out for letters, texts, phone calls, emails, etc. This week you’re full of ideas and energy and the need to go out and play! Embrace your inner child and go get messy. Embrace nature, go on picnics, visit the beach, take a hike, even simply play with your pets! A whirlwind romance might be headed your way. Think spontaneous, passionate, charming. All things that make you giddy. If you’re planning anything business-wise, be sure that you’ve thought things through because sometimes that adrenaline rush will make you leap when you’re not ready! I know you’re curious and eager, but things also need a little stability!
Lesson of the Week: Magic of Nature
Cancer - The Sun (reversed)
Things are looking cloudy this week. You’re finding it hard to find the sunshine in your days and your energy is depleted. Be more consciously aware of the negative thoughts that you let in. It’s normal to feel sad, but also don’t let yourself fall into the trap that is pessimism. Work on manifesting positivity. If you’re feeling left out, voice that. Work on making new connections that’ll make you feel loved instead of continuing ones that frustrate you. Jealousy is not a great trait to have. Find a job that brings you joy instead of making you feel trapped. A little change in your mindset and your surroundings makes all the difference.
Lesson of the week: Make New Friends
Leo - Four of Swords (reversed)
You’ve been hiding lately and now you’re finally gathering the strength to come out of isolation and into the world. Recovery is here. If you’ve had a mental breakdown, don’t fret too much on it. It happened. You’ll get better. You have to start taking care of yourself. Relationships that have been rocky are starting to heal. You are starting to heal. Accept help from those around you. Therapy is a good idea this week. Try out new methods with how to cope with stress and anxiety. Look to your past and indulge in things that once brought you joy. It’s easy to forget childhood loves, but you’d be surprised at how happy they’ll make you once revisited. Nurture your inner child.
Lesson of the Week: Inner Child & Healing
Virgo - Eight of Cups
There’s a situation that you’ve grown tired of. You’re finally realizing that you deserve better, and there’s strength behind that. Leaving bad situations takes courage. You deserve better, and you know that. I don’t have to tell you twice. You’re exhausted, lonely, and not feeling fulfilled. There’s nothing wrong for wanting something better for yourself. Beware of gaslighting and other forms of manipulation. Make sure you keep things in perspective. You know what you’ve given and if it was enough, so don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise. People are quick to blame you when it comes to something failing, but this just isn’t the case. You deserve the world, Virgo, and you will get it. Don’t let toxic people make you feel bad for leaving situations they created.
Lesson of the Week: Raise Your Standards
Libra - Ten of Wands (reversed)
Oh boy, you are going through it. There is so much stress in your body and you need to release it. Take a hike, do some yoga, go out dancing- anything that will help. You’re pushing yourself to your edge and if you don’t stop now you’re going to collapse. A meltdown is imminent at this point. Stop carrying other people’s problems. They are not your burdens. Allow yourself to say no. Put yourself first. I know you’re a people pleaser but you can’t help others when you’re feeling this overwhelmed. It’s not helping you to keep beating a dead horse. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Don’t ignore signs of illness. Make yourself your priority.
Lesson of the Week: Honor Your True Feelings
Scorpio- The Wheel of Fortune (reversed)
Scorpios! Why have we got this card AGAIN? Why are you resisting change so much!!! Your stubbornness is getting in the way of you moving forward! Please reflect on what’s going on inside of you and why you’re acting this way. You want the wheel to be upright and bring in all of that good luck! You’re only self-sabotaging now! There’s a reason you feel so stuck and that’s because you’re the one who’s refusing to move! Are you making the right choices? Stress can make you feel physically ill and that’s the last thing I want for you. Take control of your situations, learn your karmic lessons. Hardship is not meant to be lasting. Stop contributing to your own unhappiness.
Lesson of the Week: Be Honest with Yourself
Sagittarius - Four of Wands
The time for celebration is here! It’s like there are parties everywhere you look; weddings, baptisms, family gatherings, birthday parties. This week is all about feeling accepted and wanted among your little community. Sense of family is at an all time high, whether by blood or by choice, and it’s great to let go of any anxieties you’ve been having and simply enjoy the company! Past loves might reappear and someone might even be pregnant! Don’t freak out, it might be you, but it also just might be someone close to you! Don’t forget to let your hair down and sway to the music. Everything is great. Bask in it.
Lesson of the Week: Peace of Mind
Capricorn - Knight of Pentacles
Have you begun to be more environmentally conscious? Are you feeling more drawn to nature this week? Inspiration can always be found among our mother earth, and she is more than happy to provide it for you. The stable ground beneath you is a mirror of where you’re striving to be. Take a walk, paint a landscape, or photograph some of the leaves that are turning different colors. You’ve been nothing but responsible lately and deserve some relaxation. There’s a father figure in your life who loves you. Remember that he just shows it differently, maybe by providing for you instead of expressing emotions, but his love is there nonetheless.
Lesson of the Week: Creative Expression
Aquarius - Knight of Swords
Change is coming and you’ll have to let go of that dreamy, idealistic state you like so much. This is the time to be assertive and quick-witted. Roll with the punches and show some leadership. You’ve been avoiding change for so long and keep thinking you can prolong your current state of living. Just because it’s comforting doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Seizing new opportunities only helps broaden your horizons! Release any resistance you have to this change. Jump in with both feet if the water is calling to you. Fight for that love. Let go of fear.
Lesson of the Week: Letting Go
Pisces - The Magician
Fish are always on the move and that stays true for you this week my dear Pisces! You have all of your tools ready to go. Now is the time to start that new project, business, or whatever endeavor you’ve been meaning to chase after. Manifestation is key! You’ll be connecting to deeper levels of happiness, and might even find yourself mentoring someone else. Your love life shows positiveness with either entering stronger commitments or meeting someone new with good intentions. You know exactly what needs to be done so don’t hesitate!
Lesson of the Week: Follow Your Intuition
#weekly tarot#weekly readings#tarot#tarot readings#aries#taurus#gemini#cancer#leo#virgo#libra#scorpio#sagittarius#capricorn#aquarius#pisces
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i apologize for my divinity (it’s never enough) - i
maybe I shouldn’t have started another massive passion project right in the beginning of a new semester, but i finished the blue lion route and didn’t know how else to cope besides angst. here’s part i, there will likely be more and i hope you’re ready for angst.
Rating: T
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Family
Characters: Byleth/My Unit, Dimitri B., the Blue Lions
Words: 5,481
AO3 | FFN
i - white clouds
- ~ -
/ great tree moon /
The first time, Byleth is curious about the underlying darkness she sees in Dimitri, Crown Prince of the Kingdom.
When Rhea asks her, she chooses the Blue Lions with very little hesitation. Edelgard is visibly disappointed in the news and Byleth can see it in her sharp eyes. Claude, on the other hand, is much harder to read as he shrugs, smirks, and promises to make her regret the decision. Dimitri smiles in that polite, reserved way of his and a lifetime of being with Jeralt and the mercenaries allows her to observe that the smile doesn't reach his eyes.
The Blue Lions are a wonderfully chaotic group, but they believe in honour. Sylvain's respect is the easiest to win, she thinks, but the red-headed noble has a sly smirk and a playful twinkle in his eyes that makes her doubt, if only for a moment. Ingrid's is won over a rich, meaty stew for lunch that Byleth compliments, but still slips her student the larger portion.
She's not sure Felix has ever respected anyone, but she disarms him when they spar and there's a begrudging look in his eye when he accepts defeat. Annette and Mercedes are happy and light and Byleth goes to choir with them once and Annette is all smiles and Mercedes is all gentle praise. Ashe is tougher, but she slips him a sweet treat after a trip to market along with some bowstring wax and he beams for several hours afterward.
Dedue is the hardest of the Blue Lions because he cares so little for his own safety and so much for Dimitri's. She manages to spend just enough time in the garden with him to draw out a rare smile and a small discussion of Duscur and how much he misses home. He cautions her about Dimitri and the fact that His Highness is possible the most important figure at the academy in the current time.
Byleth knows he's correct. The whirling political landscape of Fódlan does not leave space for Dimitri or Edelgard or Claude to fumble. The three of them will have to be perfect and incredible to keep peace on the continent. Still, Dimitri is kind and when she finds herself alone with him in the Blue Lions classroom, she feels at peace. Their strategic plans are often very similar even if Dimitri prefers to rely on Sylvain, Ingrid, Felix and their penchant for brute force and Byleth likes to call on Annette and Mercedes and Ashe to rain fire and arrows from further away.
- ~ -
/ harpstring moon /
Felix calls him the Boar Prince, referring to savagery in the wake of the tragedy of Duscur. If Byleth wasn't Byleth–and Sothis wasn't bringing it up constantly in her head–she might not have seen the prince's lingering darkness, but she does. Most people don't seem to see it and Byleth knows that if Ingrid, Sylvain, or Dedue see it, they don't mention it. But, Dimitri's facade isn't perfect.
When they spar and her sword cuts into his lance, Dimitri growls in frustration and strikes out at her with more strength than she's expecting. Sothis screams for her to move and Byleth barely rolls out of the way of the blow before counterattacking. She disarms him neatly in three moves after that. Jeralt has taught her that anger is weakness and frustration is diluted anger and it is Dimitri's weakness.
His lance hits the ground and Dimitri sighs. The frustration seeps out of him and Byleth's grip of her sword loosens. Just because she can glimpse the darkness Felix goads, doesn't mean it's always there.
- ~ -
/ garland moon /
They take out Lonato's rebellion with little trouble. Dedue spends a little extra time under Mercedes's watchful eye, but for the most part, they all come out alright. At least, this is what Byleth assumes on the march back to the monastery.
Byleth trains late one night and doesn't leave the Training Hall till early morning. The monastery is dark and quiet, but as she makes her way back to her quarters, she catches sight of a bobbing light nearby. She considers leaving it, but with the rumours of a plot against Rhea still swirling, she adjusts her grip on her steel sword and follows it.
She sees the Officer's Academy uniform when she follows the student onto the bridge between the main monastery and the Cathedral. Her tension sifts away, but now she's curious so she keeps following. She follows the candle all the way into the main building of the cathedral where finally she catches up to Ashe.
He sits on the floor in front of the goddess's statue, the candle on the floor in front of him, and stares up at the statue. Ashe's childlike face is pained and sad. Byleth feels a tug in her chest as she steps towards him that she's not familiar with.
"Sympathy," Sothis whispers inside her mind. "Sympathy and grief."
Ashe had just lost his father. Adopted father, but still his father. Byleth recalls Ashe's timid confession to his past life as a thief and how Lonato saved him and his siblings. Byleth's walk towards him falters. She didn't know how to relate to him. Her father was alive, well, and a strong member of the Knights of Seiros.
Her foot must skid on the marble floor just enough to draw Ashe's attention and he turns toward her, looking skittish. Byleth exhales slowly and walks forward until she's standing next to Ashe. She lowers herself to the ground and bows her head, giving her student the privacy to mourn he'd needed while also supplying the company that he desperately needed.
Ashe says nothing, but the next day there is a beautifully crafted cupcake on her desk when she arrives in class.
- ~ -
/ blue sea moon /
The Sword of the Creator hums in her hand and some part of Byleth screams for her to drop it. She adjusts her grip on it and cracks it across the Western Church members and the blade sings as it cuts down her foes.
Later, back in the Blue Lion classroom, her students are abuzz with energy as they describe how she was glowing with the light of the sword and the light of her crest as she fought, like some force of nature. Sylvain looks uncomfortable through the discussion of the crest and Ashe is still uncomfortable with the Western Church.
Byleth herself still wants to drop the Sword of the Creator and run as far as she can away.
Jeralt shows up at her door that night, a scowl etched into his features. He glances at the sword–lying flat across her desk–and looks at her. Byleth knows she's hard to read, even for Jeralt, but he's her father so she gets the sense he knows at least a little of what she's feeling.
Byleth knows her father to be a mostly stoic man who's not big on affection, but his arms curl around her for a long moment as he just holds her. He expects no conversation, just her presence, and her arms slowly come up to hold him as well.
- ~ -
/ verdant rain moon /
Byleth is organizing her notes for the next week's lectures when Felix and Ingrid find her. The Kingdom nobles both look deeply troubled and Byleth instantly closes her book to focus her full attention on her students.
"Professor," Ingrid begins carefully. She glances at Felix, but he doesn't say anything. Ingrid sighs and straightens her shoulders. "We wanted to tell you that Sylvain probably won't be in class tomorrow."
"Or the rest of the week," Felix finally adds.
Byleth doesn't need a reason from her students. She had seen the pain on Sylvain's face when his brother had transformed. The hurt that had roiled in him as Miklan had spat and cursed his brother and all that he stood for. The Lance of Ruin had destroyed Miklan's humanity and turned him into a cursed beast and Sylvain had watched him lose his mind before taking the Lance to wield for his own.
Byleth can still visualize the agony in Sylvain's expression as he had struck down Miklan, landing the final blow to protect Ingrid who had been about to be torn apart. Byleth had been seconds away from tugging at Sothis's power, the Divine Pulse, to save Ingrid when Sylvain had leapt from his horse to strike down his brother.
The Gautier heir had dropped his lance as if it had burned him as he watched the darkness seep away from Miklan, leaving the dead body of his elder brother behind. Byleth didn't blame him. She still felt like she wanted to drop the Sword of the Creator every time it burned warmly in her grip.
"I understand," she says quietly to Ingrid and Felix.
She sees loss in them too. Not Miklan's loss, but she knows it is there. Glenn's death lingers like a shadow over the pair and over Dimitri as well. Dimitri shoulders the burden of the Tragedy of Duscur and lets it haunt him, but Byleth acknowledges that the others of the Kingdom bear its scars as well.
- ~ -
/ horsebow moon /
Seteth was inconsolable when Flayn was missing. Rhea was the picture of indifference in the matter, her face set into practiced neutrality that had Sothis mouthing off inside of Byleth's head. Byleth can barely process Sothis's rants and Rhea's debrief because her ears are still ringing from the encounter with the Death Knight.
The wound he left on her side still aches, but she had shaken off Mercedes and Marianne's offers to have a look at it because she needed to speak with Rhea and Seteth. The fact that it is still pulsing with pain is confusing, but she chalks it up to the adrenaline. Finally, gloriously, Rhea dismisses her to get some rest, holding Seteth back so that the two may speak.
Byleth walks out of the audience hall without stumbling, but the pain in her side flares sharply as she starts to descend back to the first floor. She trips on the stairs and barely catches herself. Her vision swirls and her feet feel like lead. It feels like someone is pouring acid along her side and she bites her tongue to keep from crying out.
Somehow, she makes it down to the first floor without falling again, but the pain is staggering now. Byleth gasps for air and feels her chest contract uselessly as she tries to draw in air. Her hand skids along the stonework of the wall as she tries to keep herself upright.
"You need help," Sothis hisses inside her head. "You cannot die here."
Byleth hears voices nearby, probably just inside the entrance hall, and she blindly stumbles in that direction. Blood pounds in her ears and her legs finally give out. She clatters to the floor noisily and her palms barely catch herself so she doesn't crack her head on the ground. There's a loud clang as the Sword of the Creator at her hip collides with the stone.
She breathes slowly and deeply, trying to stay in the moment as Jeralt has taught her. It is easiest to help an injured man if he is awake enough to tell you how he was injured. There's a horrible moment of nothing where Byleth thinks no one will see her, but then there's a shout from a monk and a stampede of footsteps.
Someone rolls her onto her back slowly and Byleth is staring up into Dimitri's horrified expression. His blue eyes are wide, his hair hangs tauntingly in front of his face, and his brows furrow as he tries to see what is wrong with her. There's a panic in his expression that causes something deep inside Byleth to ache. It's a familiarity with losing people and she wants to take it away from him and tell him she'll be fine.
There's another pulse of pain from the wound in her side and she gasps, feeling her sore muscles protest as her back arches.
"Professor, what's," Dimitri trails off, lost as his hands hover awkwardly around her.
"Dimitri, move." Another voice cuts in firmly and without room for argument. Byleth's head lolls slightly to the side and she sees Claude kneeling next to Dimitri.
The Alliance heir reaches for her, going straight to the wound on her side. He holds a hand out above him for a second. Byleth follows the line of his arm with her eyes weakly and sees Edelgard standing just behind both boys. She fumbles for a moment before placing a dagger in Claude's hand. Dimitri tenses upon seeing it, but Claude ignores him and cuts away Byleth's coat and shirt to expose the wound.
Dimitri and Edelgard both recoil at the sight of the wound, but Claude steels himself. His fingers graze along the visible blackened veins in Byleth's side. Veins that shouldn't be black but are crackling with poison and venom. Claude's fingers tremble as he reaches for a pouch at his waist. He pulls out a small vial of clear liquid and uncorks it. He presses the glass to Byleth's lips and she forces herself to crack them open.
"This is a general neutralizer," Claude murmured. "You need to drink this, Teach, because I don't know what's killing you. Your Royal Highnesses, I would highly recommend one of you go find me Mercedes, Lindhardt, Marianne, or Manuela as quickly as possible. This stops the poison from spreading, but I need their White Magic to heal it."
Dimitri doesn't move at first, his eyes locked on Byleth's, but when Edelgard doesn't shift, Dimitri squeezes Byleth's hand tightly before rising and stumbling off. Claude's eyes stay fixed on the poisoned wound on her side, but Byleth is surprised that when she tilts her head back slightly to get a glimpse of Edelgard, there is a cold fear and uncertainty in the Imperial Princess's expression. Edelgard, who is normally the picture of calm and indifference, looks paralyzed with fear.
Byleth inhales and exhales. Her breathing doesn't hurt anymore. That is probably a good sign. The tension in Claude's shoulders has loosened and Byleth knows that whatever Claude had given her had effectively saved her life.
Jeralt finds her before Dimitri returns and he kneels quickly and pulls Byleth up so that she's resting against her father. His body is warm behind her as he questions Claude and Edelgard what happened. Byleth's eyes close slowly in her weariness and the conversation fades to a mumble.
There are more footsteps in the background and a tingle of warmth against her side and Byleth exhales slowly. Marianne seems to have been the one Dimitri located because Byleth can barely pick out her gentle stutter before she lets her tiredness swallow her.
- ~ -
/ wyvern moon /
Manuela and Hanneman didn't participate in the battle and it had taken every persuasive bone in her body to get anyone to allow her to fight. Dimitri had been against it, citing the mostly-healed poisoned wound from the Death Knight. Edelgard had protested it, but Byleth suspected that was more related to the fact that neither the Deer or the Eagles would have their professors accompanying them into battle.
Claude, on the other hand, had advocated for it. He had promised that any remaining poison was effectively neutralized and he pointed out that the battle was under a strict "no-killing" policy anyways. Finally, Seteth and the others had consented and Byleth was allowed back into her classroom to plan for the fight. Despite the listening ears of Claude and Edelgard, Byleth and Dimitri had managed to come up with enough of a plan to secure a victory.
White Magic monks from the monastery were healing any remaining wounds from the battle that the Blue Lions had handily won. Byleth feels a tingle of pride in her chest as she examines Gronder Field from the wooden platform in the middle. The ballista up top had caused her Lions some issues at the start since Bernadetta was more than proficient with a bow and Ingrid, her usual scout, couldn't get near the contraption due to her weakness to bows as a Pegasus Knight.
Felix and Annette had been the ones who had driven Bernadetta back, leaving a path for Ashe to claim the centre to wreak the same havoc. Sylvain and Dedue had pounded through Edelgard's defences, going straight at her magic users, while Ingrid flew above and ahead of them, clearing a path. Byleth, with Mercedes and Dimitri, had focused on taking down the Deer. As good of a strategist as Claude was, once the Lions took the hill it was over for the deer. The ballista had a better range than their archers and a practiced Thunder attack from Byleth had brought Claude to the ground where he was hopelessly outmatched by Dimitri.
Her side aches mildly, but she's too high on victory to let it bother her too much. Still, she must be favouring it a bit because as soon as he's done receiving some medical care for the arrow wound from Claude, Dimitri makes his way to her side.
"We fought well, Professor, wouldn't you agree?" he asks as he ascends to stand next to her.
Byleth nods. The hostilities from the battle have faded with the wounds and her Lions chat alongside Eagles and Deer with no hesitation. All of her students fought brilliantly, but she was beyond proud of her lions. Annette is chattering excitedly with Dorothea and Felix is hovering nearby. So close, in fact, that when she flings her hands out to describe something, she smacks him in the face. Dimitri chuckles as he follows her gaze.
Sylvain isn't far from the base of the hill, brushing his horse's coat. Leonie and Marianne are close enough that he could be flirting with them, but instead, he's focused on his horse and the conversation he's sharing with Ingrid as the Pegasus Knight grooms her own mount nearby.
Mercedes is healing the last of Dedue's burns, sustained from a defensive Hubert. Linhardt stands with them, conversing quietly and politely. Ashe and Bernadetta seem to be comparing notes on the ballista and Ignatz joins them after a moment. The trio of archers chat easily and Byleth knows there is no ill-will between any of them.
"Your cubs are growing," Sothis's voice croons quietly. Byleth smiles to herself.
Dimitri tips his head to look at her and Byleth takes a moment to study the Prince of Faerghus. He is taller than her and strong, but he looks weary. The ghost of pain that underlies him is agonizingly present. Not for the first time, Byleth wants to pull him close and banish his pain and his past to somewhere it will not bother him.
She can't, of course, and Dimitri never needs to know what happens in her mind in these times.
"Professor?" he asks. "Is everything alright?"
She nods. She wants to tell him that he led them to battle admirably. "We fought well," she says instead.
Dimitri smiles and the weight in her chest eases.
- ~ -
/ red wolf moon /
As the village of Remire burns around her, Byleth frowns and turns about, assessing.
"Who would have imagined that Tomas wasn't really Tomas?" Sothis's voice says. The tiny spirit inside of Byleth sounds perplexed and frustrated just like she did when she couldn't remember why she desired to go to the Red Canyon.
Byleth certainly hadn't guessed and it bothers her. The fact that Tomas–Solon, she corrects–had been at the monastery the whole time. It doesn't sit well, especially since it is likely that Jeritza was the Death Knight as well. She wonders what other horrors the monastery holds and how long it would be until they reared their heads.
"Professor?"
Byleth turns and sees Annette and Dedue standing behind her. Annette is the one who called out to her. Dedue's polished armour is scorched in places and Annette has a cut along her cheekbone from a swordsman who got too close for her magic to counter. They both look tired and deeply uncomfortable in the ruins of Remire.
"We're getting ready to march back to the monastery," Annette explains and glances at Dedue, nervous.
The prince's vassal straightens and Byleth recognizes the discomfort in his expression. "Could you speak to His Highness, Professor? He," Dedue pauses and turns, looking across the ruined village to a silhouette standing still at the southeast entrance to the village. The statement lingers, unfinished.
Byleth nods and dismisses her students back to the rest of the group. She picks her way through rubble toward Dimitri. When she makes it to his side, he tenses a little and keeps his gaze fixed on the line of the trees nearby.
"We met here," he says lowly. "Why did it have to be these people?" he questions. "Innocent people who did not deserve to die." He shakes his head heavily.
"We'll find him," Byleth promises in lieu of an explanation.
She knows Dimitri well enough by now to know that he is fluent in the language of revenge and retribution. The Tragedy of Duscur hangs over him so precariously and entirely that she is shocked he is not consumed by it. Felix's biting comments about Dimitri's savagery cut her and she can only hope to guide him to a better place.
She touches his arm and turns away to head back to the others. It takes a moment, but she hears his heavy footsteps following her.
- ~ -
/ ethereal moon /
"Save him!” Sothis cries out in her mind.
Byleth lets Sothis's power well up and she forces time to reverse. Jeralt rises from the ground, Monica backs up, and her Blue Lions get three steps further away. For the first time, Byleth can remember a clenching pain in her chest–her heart–and a coldness that grips her entire body.
Her body hums as she reaches for the Sword of the Creator and cracks it toward Monica. SAVEJERALTSAVEJERALTSAVEJERALT–her heart screams. Her blade whistles forward and– it crashes against a magic shield.
The mysterious figure takes Monica and disappears and Byleth is left in the field with the falling body of her father. Her body is screaming and the sword burns in her hand. She discards it and rushes to her father's side, rolling him onto his back in his lap. It feels like when he held her after she had been poisoned.
Her chest is dead tight as he speaks to her, tells her that he loves her and that this is the first time he has ever seen her cry. Her eyes are burning and her cheeks are wet and it's raining. The pull in her chest intensifies to a piercing, consistent stab and Byleth curls over her father's cooling body and screams.
The Lions come running, their faces slack with horror and disbelief as Byleth screams at the sky. She curses everything for taking her father from her and for letting her feel now of all times. She rocks Jeralt's body slowly, shaking and trembling as she tries to hold him as close as she can.
Sothis, please let me save him, she begs in her mind.
"Byleth," Sothis's voice is pained and tight. "We tried. We turned back time and he still fell. Perhaps this is fate."
I cannot accept that, she thinks desperately. I'll bring him back without you then.
Byleth summons every shred of divine power she carries and tries to force time to go backwards, but all she manages is a stall in time where her students appear to be running towards her in slow motion. Pain explodes in her temples and her students return to normal speed.
"I'm sorry," Sothis's gentle voice says. "I know what he meant to you, you know."
The pain in her temples increases as she cries out, fisting her fingers in the thick leather of her father's armour. Her vision whites out for a moment and it takes a long second before it comes back to her.
When she opens her eyes again, there are warm arms around her and a deeply-breathing chest pressed against hers. She gets an eye-full of bloodied and torn blue cloak as Dimitri curls himself around her and she clings to him. This embrace is so different than the innocent hug they had shared just a day ago in the goddess tower, but it cuts her to the core.
She lets her nails claw at Dimitri's cloak as she holds him. She can feel that Jeralt is still half-draped over her lap. Dimitri has thrown himself into the mud beside her to hold her. After a moment, a slender set of arms winds half around Dimitri and half around Byleth as Mercedes adds herself to the hug.
Annette follows quickly, pulling Ashe by the hand as the two smallest members of the Blue Lions add themselves to what is turning into a mass of bodies. Sylvain kneels behind Byleth and rests his forehead against her shoulder. Ingrid presses her cheek against Dimitri's arm where it brushes Byleth. Felix kneels in the mud on Byleth's other side and just presses a warm hand to her thigh. Byleth doesn't feel Dedue touch her, but she sees him take Dimitri's other side and rest a large palm against the Prince's upper back, just under where Byleth's fingers have dug into the blue cloak.
For a long, terrible minute the Blue Lions sit in a field, covered in mud and blood and getting soaked by the rain. No words are said because there are none to be uttered as Jeralt's blood seeps out into the mud below them.
"I'm sorry," Sothis says again. "I'm sorry that we were not enough."
- ~ -
/ guardian moon /
Sothis's scolding rolls over Byleth mindlessly as Byleth spins and observes the echoing, absolute, crushing darkness around the pair. The Sword of the Creator is still in her hand, but it will do her no good here.
After all, only a god can escape this place.
The demi-plane is what is finally takes for both Sothis and Byleth to conclude that whatever Rhea did, allowed Sothis, the goddess, to be reborn inside of Byleth. This created an un-feeling, un-crying child.
Byleth remembers her father's men calling her the Ashen Demon–unfeeling, unyielding, and merciless. They often asked what kind of mortal could feel no emotion. Byleth thinks on this as Sothis affirms that she is more than mortal. Some part of her has known this, Byleth realizes. When she pitied Ashe and empathized with Sylvain and defended Ingrid and desired to protect Dimitri so strongly.
And when she cried for Jeralt's loss.
Sothis's apology hands unanswered in the darkness, but that is expected. When the young goddess touches her, it burns. The burn is familiar to that of the Sword of the Creator, but it feels purer and cleansing. The tingling sensation that accompanies her Divine Pulses overtakes her and Byleth screams out.
Gold consumes the darkness around her and when she opens her eyes, the Sword of the Creator is singing in her grip and glowing and blazing. She swings down and reality bends to her new strength.
She emerges back onto the battlefield to the complete shock of the Blue Lions, glowing with power and energy. Later, Ashe will tell her that she looked like an avenging angel emerging from darkness to smite the evil in the world.
Byleth is unstoppable in that battle. The merging with Sothis has let the blood in her veins sing out with power as she cuts down enemy after enemy. Her Lions fight valiantly at her side, but Solon is hers to defeat.
The Sublime Creator Sword–the sword in its truest form–hums in her palm as she whips it out, lashing over and over against the mage who killed Kronya, the one responsible for her father's death. The scream she lets out as she strikes sends fear into the heart of the remaining soldiers enough that all battle freezes to watch her strike Solon down.
After, she stands, trembling with power and emotion as Dimitri rushes to her side. He asks what happens and she tells him, plainly, and though he seems unsure, her conviction sells him on the point. He points out that she has changed and she uses the mostly unused silver sword at her hip to check her reflection and sees the truth in his words. She looks almost like Rhea now except for the divine light that seems to be glowing in her veins.
The light fades as she talks to Dimitri and it seems to take her strength with it. Finally, her mortal exhaustion pulls her into darkness and she buckles to the ground, Dimitri's startled cry the last thing she hears.
- ~ -
/ pegasus moon /
Dimitri breaks Edelgard's mask underfoot and charges at her with a reckless abandon she has not seen in him before. Felix's taunts and warnings stab at her memories sharply as she watches him cut down Edelgard's soldiers without mercy.
Edelgard's expression, cool and stern, hurts too. This is not the girl that Byleth met nearly a year ago at Remire village. This is a woman growing into her hatred of an institution and anyone who stands in the way of her ambition. This is not the student who's axe grip Byleth spent hours correcting so that Edelgard could throw and hit the target dead centre without hardly a glance in its direction.
Hubert is at Edelgard's side and then the two are gone in twin bursts of red light. Dimitri is breathing heavily and Byleth's chest is aching. The Holy Tomb doesn't feel big enough for the monsters they have just unleashed and with a horribly practiced ease, Dimitri schools his features back to the polished, personable prince they know.
The other Blue Lions cast him wary glances, but they follow the summons of Rhea with little argument. Felix gives Byleth a significant look and she breaks eye contact quickly. Dimitri is not lost yet and she refuses to relinquish the hope that she can protect him.
Dimitri is quiet in most of the following proceedings, contributing here and there, but the conviction in his words when he addresses the Lions later scared Byleth. He says it with such surgical precision that it cuts across the hope that had been rallying in the Blue Lions, shocking the Empire citizens into silence.
Byleth doesn't want to listen to their speculation after Dimitri takes his leave, so she hurries out soon after. Ingrid's defensive words clash with Felix's biting ones and Byleth wishes she had heard none of it.
She gets most of the way back to her quarters when the Golden Deer find her. Claude and Hilda are leading the charge and the group of nobles and commoners–her students–stare at her, expecting answers. Apparently, Hanneman, Manuela, Seteth, and Rhea had provided them with such little information all they knew was that the Church was preparing to go to war with the Empire.
Claude's green eyes are sharp as he tracks them across her face, trying to read her. After Ignatz finishes describing what the Deer know, Claude speaks up.
"Did he break?" he asks quietly.
He says it with such a certainty that Byleth knows he doesn't need the conformation in words. He reads her expression well enough and he casts his eyes to the sky, scowling suddenly.
"Goddess damn you, Edelgard," Claude basically spits.
The Deer recoil at the sharp tone of their leader's voice and Byleth quickly steals away, leaving them further in the dark.
- ~ -
/ lone moon /
Rhea is a dragon. Claude and Dimitri are fighting back-to-back. Her Blue Lions, the Golden Deer, and the broken remains of the Black Eagles sweep through Edelgard's forces with a practiced strategy Byleth remembers outlining in a rainy Wednesday lecture.
The Empire keeps coming.
Rhea goes down under a swarm of demonic beasts. Byleth charges forward, Sothis's divine power surging through her veins. The Sublime Creator Sword whips out with a deafening crack and shatters the mask of a beast. Rhea throws it off, roars, and tears the other two in half easily.
Hope springs in Byleth's heart as she hears the dragon roar and her armies roar in response.
But, then,
Thales.
The magic sends her flying back to the gorge and she skids to a stop, pained and angry, right at the edge of a cliff. There's an ominous, terrible creaking beneath her. Rhea's dragon form screams out and then she hears the cries of her Lions as they turn from their own battles just in time to watch the cliff give out beneath her feet.
The fall tears the air out of Byleth's lungs and there is PAIN and then–
darkness.
#the writing section#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#fic: i apologize for my divinity#words: 5.4k+#g: angst#g: family#g: friendship#c: byleth#c: dimitri#c: annette#c: dedue#c: ingrid#c: felix#c: sylvain#c: ashe#c: mercedes#c: claude#c: jeralt#c: sothis#ship: dimileth#dimileth#byleth#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#fe3h spoilers#fe3h blue lions#blue lions spoilers#white clouds#i've written a lot of fluff in 2019#let's start 2020 with ANGST
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