Ran out of time on this one but here it is anyway.

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The worker in the store when Five told her to look after Delores and how she liked sequins:

Every single fanfic writer that ever made Five be a sarcastic ass to his partner must be rolling like a bayblade rn because S3 literally confirmed that Five is a sappy old man who calls his wife "my angel" and cheesily says things like "come to me"

lol this dude is super sappy to his partner and there is no doubt in my mind he was a devoted and adoring husband to his bald mannequin wife😌

These guys are couple goals and I love them so much

Ok yeah everyone in TUA is traumatised beyond recovery but I guess everyone is still underestimating the fact that Five has a literal imaginary girlfriend he’s desperately in love with and might never get over from…

[ID: Five and real person! Delores drawn as centaurs. Both of them are old; Five is commission era. As such, he's wearing a suit and tie, has a neat mustache, and short hair. His horse body is light grayish white. Delores is wearing a nonsensical evening gown, and her centaur body is a large red draft horse with light feathers. They are hugging each other tightly; Delores has to bend down to reach. End ID.]

old married couple <3

i dont have any canon basis for making Delores a draft horse but it brings me joy and there was no chance I was ever going to do anything else. she deserves to be Tall. Also, am contributing one more old Delores to the world, an even rarer creature than old Five.

The healthiest relationship out of all of the siblings

Five & Dolores sketch

Note: anyone who thinks I should’ve included a certain pair of siblings in this poll, get away from my blog immediately. Also I know Ben & Jill aren’t technically a couple, but his crush on her is too adorable for me to not include them.

You belong with me

Five Hargreeves x reader

A/N: I was listening to “You belong with me” by Taylor Swift in the bus, and the idea for this story just kinda struck me. It ain’t amazing, but it’s what I whipped up in like, 2 hours?

Summary: Y/N loves Five. Five loves Dolores. Dolores loves herself. :)

Contains: Swearing, some spoilers for books, AU where everyone’s a normal teenager.

ALSO, NO SPOILERS FOR SEASON 3 (Though seriously, if you haven’t watched season 3 yet, what are you doing here?)

Requested: Hell nah

“Come on Delores, meet me halfway here!” yelled my neighbor into his phone, loud enough for me to hear in my room on the other side of the street. “It was just a joke!” I heard him defend, the wide-open windows allowing me to hear his side of the conversation. I sighed at his upset expression before turning back to my homework, the blaring questions on chemistry burning my eye sockets. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers, exhausted by the school week already. It was only Tuesday! The cool autumn air carried Five’s voice through my own window, the chill leaving goosebumps in their wake. I looked back up from my homework to see him listening to Dolores intently, his eyebrows creased in exhaustion. I stared at him longingly, the stress making my own heart sink. Of course, everyone knew who Delores was. She was basically the queen of our school, the whole short skirts, high heels, and cheerleader persona. Five was more surprised that everyone else at school when Dolores asked him, the broody nerd, out for coffee. I remembered that first sting in my heart like it was yesterday.

“Come one Y/N, we have to study!” exclaimed Five, pouring over a math textbook as thick as his face. “I want a nap!” I snapped back, slamming my fist against the table. “Shhhh!” I heard the librarian whisper yell for the fifth time, making me roll my eyes. “If I work for 30 minutes, you let me take a nap. Deal?” I asked the boy. “Deal,” he nodded, before beginning to explain fractals and Newton’s theory to me again from the top as I pretended to listen to his rant. That’s when a distinct sound of stilettos colliding with wooden flooring echoed through the rather large library. “You’re… Five, aren’t you?” an airy voice echoed from behind me, making Five look up from his book and my turn around. There she stood in all her glory, short brown hair framing her sharp jawline and nose, pink clips holding her bangs in place. “I am… why do you ask?” asked Five, trying to appear unaffected, though his confusion was revealed through his indifferent mask. “Just thought… maybe we could go get coffee sometime? I’ve always wanted to try a nerdy boy,” she giggled, twirling a pink string between her fingers. “Uh… yeah, uh, sure! 7 p.m. tonight?” stammered Five, making Dolores giggle and nod before walking away, hips swaying. “... am I dreaming? Or was that my crush just asking me out?” asked Five in a daze as soon as she was out of earshot. I felt a pang in my heart, watching the boy I loved get asked out by another girl. “Sure was,” I muttered under my breath before picking my bag up and getting up to leave. Five didn’t stop me, too involved in his daydream to notice me leave. I left hurriedly, chest aching as my heart sank.

“Y/N?” I heard a voice ask, making me look up from a copy of Wonder that I had probably borrowed from a friend and forgotten to return. “Oh Five. Hey,” I said awkwardly, regretting my choice of clothes, mostly made up of neutral colors. “Hey, isn’t that my book?” he asked. I looked down at the book to turn to the first page where his name was written in black ink. “Oh, yeah. Do you want it back?” I offered, holding the book out to him in a limp grip. “No, it’s fine. I’ve read the book enough times anyway. What do you think of it?” he asked, sitting down next to me on one of the park benches. “Honestly, Miranda is my favorite character. She always feels like a fish out of water, even though Via and August love her so much. She wants that life for herself, not realizing her own worth. It gives me hope that one day I’ll also get to realize the good in me,” I stated, caressing the book while avoiding eye contact with Five. “I think I like Via the most. She seems perfect, with an amazing boyfriend and family, but she has so much missed in her life because of her best friend,” replied Five, looking up at me through his eyelashes, green eyes twinkling with mirth. “Uh huh… does this best friend happen to be the most brilliant person ever?” I replied mockingly, posing outrageously before bursting into laughter, Five quickly joining in the chorus of chuckles. A strand of hair fell onto my face, which Five quickly pushed behind my ear, the light brush of his fingers against my skin making my heart speed up. He relaxed, slouching slightly against the bench while animatedly talking about his science project. “Why doesn’t he see that it’s so easy with me,” I thought to myself as he smiled at me, answering the question I asked about his project.

“Oh, Five! Why are you hanging out with this… loser? Don’t keep me waiting,” I sugary sweet voice called, a car revving to a stop in front of the park bench, making me cringe “Coming love,” replied Five, his face falling. “Five, are you sure you’re fine?” I asked, grasping hold of his hand as he moved toward the highlighter pink car. “I’m fine,” he muttered, trying to convince me with a half-hearted grin. “I know you better than that, Five. What are you even doing with a girl like that?” I asked, making him shake his head and walk away, climbing into the pink car. His dark hair and jeans collided with the princessy attitude of the car. He seemed out of place as the car drove away, and a last glance was thrown my way. I sighed, standing up and abandoning the park bench, the book lying alone on the bench.

I heard a knock on my bedroom window, startling me awake off the bed. I glanced at the clock next to my bed from my position on the ground to read 01:28. Who was knocking at my window at this hour? I swished the curtains of my window open to see Five standing on the ground, his face a few inches below the ledge. “Five? Come on up,” I stated, making the boy clamber onto the ledge into my room, immediately beginning to face the length of my carpeted floors. “Five? What’s wrong?” I asked as I sat on the bed, making him turn towards me, a glossy look in his eyes that only meant one thing.

“Oh no! Sweetheart, what happened?” I asked, making him sit next to me and pull me into a desperate hug. He rested his head on my shoulder, the material of my shirt quickly soaking from the salty tears. “What is it darling?” I asked softly, moving him so he could lay down, his head placed in my lap. “It was a fucking joke. A bet,” he said through sniffles, immediately making my back stiffen. “Do you want me to beat her up? I’m sure one good punch would get rid of all that plastic surgery she’s gone through,” I said seriously, hoping to make the boy smile. The boy chuckled through tears, making me smile as I carded my fingers through his hair, his eyes slowly relaxing. “If you hear a voice, in the middle of the night, saying it’ll be alright, it will be me,” I hummed, making the boy nuzzle his face into my thigh. I continued singing the song, one of Five’s childhood favorites, filled with memories of sugary ice lollies, buttery popcorn, grazed knees, and fireflies. Soon, quiet snores filled the room, just as the song came to a close. I placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead before switching off the lights, shrouding the room ins darkness. I eased myself away from Five, picking up my pillows and moving them to the ground, leaving Five to rest on the bed.

“Y/N, wait up!” I heard a voice yell, making me pause in my tracks to wait for Five to catch up. He joined me and I started ranting about my math professor, who insisted that he would not share any of the presentations he showed in class. “I mean, what’s his problem if we have an additional source? I need everything I can get to prepare for exams!” I complained, the boy nodding along to my complaining. The bell rang, symbolling the end of the school day. “Hey Five,” cut a shrill voice, immediately stopping both of us in our tracks. Dolores stalked towards us, her heels making a thudding sound against the linoleum floors. “I wanted to talk to you… privately?” she sneered in my direction before looking at Five sweetly. “Five, don’t do it,” I disagreed vehemently, pulling at the end of his sleeves to walk away from Dolores. “Go on ahead, Y/N. I’ll see you,” stated Five, gently unclasping my fingers from his shirt before walking away with Dolores. “AGH,” I yelled, kicking one of the lockers beside me, the empty corridor echoing my yell. I walked out of the building angrily, my heart clenched and my shoulders tensed. I slammed my bag into the wall as soon as I walked into my room. Pressing my face into the pillow as angry tears pricked my eyes. “AGHHHHH,” I yelled into the pillow, my voice muffled by the layers of cloth and stuffing. “Y/N?” A voice questioned some 15 minutes later, making me look up at my room’s door to see Five standing there, a concerned expression on his face. “Are you o-” he started to ask before I interrupted him. “No. Five Hargreeves, you will now listen to me. DO NOT go back to Dolores, of all people! I know she’s pretty, smart, and has the perfect looks and the perfect grades, but can’t you see what she is doing to you? Oh, I remember you, driving to my house in the middle of the night, I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re about to cry! I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams… I know where you belong, I know it’s with me!” I said without a pause, before stopping to see Five frozen in place, his lips slightly parted in shock. I breathed deeply before taking a hold of Five’s hands. “Can't you see that I’m the one who understands you? I’ve been here all along, so why can’t you see? That you belong with me?” I stopped myself from saying anything more, biting my lip and waiting expectantly for his response, grasping his hands tightly. “I went to tell Dolores that I don’t love her. That there’s someone else I know, who’s been here my whole life, and who I hope will be there the rest of my life,” said Five, gazing softly into my eyes, his pupils dilated to reveal just a thin sliver of forest green. “It’s you. Y/N, it’s always been you,” proclaimed Five, leaning forward just the tiniest bit. His lips pressed to my forehead, sealing his words into reality. 

Imagine Five trying to do normal stuff...

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Five: What do you mean I’m wrong?!

Dolores:

Five: Oh, yeah? Well what about Prague 1984, huh? Don’t you remember when I-

Dolores:

Five: Don’t interrupt me! I know when I’m right!

Everyone nearby:

Five's vision of Dolores (the one we see in his hallucination, the Real Life one, which I assume is how Five saw her most of the time in the Apocalypse) is absolutely based on Grace, both aesthetically and in a more emotional sense, since that is the only grown woman Five knew before getting stuck in the apocalypse, and thus the only reference he has of how a woman/wife is.

Given that Grace was the one that took care of them since childhood, Five associates the idea of this beautiful, blonde, immaculate woman with the warmth and protection and security that Grace offered. This is also why we are told that it was Dolores the one who tried to take care of Five (like how she didn't like that he drank), because that's what Grace did.

It also makes sense that he saw her as incredibly clean and well-put, given that a) he himself always looks immaculateand is thus understandable that he looks for the same in his partner, b) that's how Grace always looked, and c) cleanliness and "vanity" are two things that Five couldn't afford to have himself for most of his life but possibly wanted, and so he projected this desire onto Dolores.

And before anyone says that this means that a) Five didn't like her in a romantic/sexual way or b) that this is weird... it is weird, but it's even weirder when you remember that it's very common for men to subconsciously look for traits that reminds them of their mothers (the same for women and their dads!). Therefore, Dolores sharing similar traits to Grace doesn't mean Five doesn’t like her in a romantic/sexual way. Quite the contrary tbh lol Don't think too much about it lmao

And BEFORE someone says that this makes Five sexist (due to imagining his perfect wife as perfectly dressed in heels, long blonde hair, and more traditional clothes) or something--- pls, the dude got stuck ALONE in an apocalypse when he was a CHILD, and before that he was mainly maintained in this bubble of crime-fighting and studying. He didn't have much time to understand the complexities of human beings, and the only DEEP and REAL connection he had to grown women was a robot made to the likes of his father and to be the perfect, docile housewife...

He obviously didn't like the docile part, as we know that Dolores was contantly challenging him, but his idea of perfect woman is still heavily influenced by Grace, particularly when it came to anesthetics and care

((Also, media is likely the only place from where he learned about romantic love, which would explain his cheesiness and exaggerated Morticia-Gomez way of behaving with Dolores during the hallucination lol probably also used as a way to be in contact with his most sensitive side!))

I know this has probably been said, but about the mannequin being a coping mechanism...

The French word for pain is "douleur".

The Spanish and Latin word for pain is "dolor".

The Italian word for pain is "dolore".

This root is common of many romantic languages.

Remember, Five is multi-lingual.

Remember, the name Five gave this mannequin was Dolores.

I did not expect to be shipping an emotionally stunted old man bbg with a girlboss manequin but like life yk?

seeing five being gentle with delores warms my heart until i realize she's just a trauma response and then i want to give five one big hug for everything he went through. 😭

I personally see Dolores as both real and unreal. She's not 'just' a trauma response in that she's very real to him. She's real because she has real effects on him.

I mean, were we to go all sollopcistic on this, Five 'knows' that Dolores exists in much the same way as he 'knows' that anyone exists; perhaps she's even more real because her mind is part of his, (the only mind he can ever know for sure is real).

Theirs is a reality built on a paradox: he needs her to exist and she needs him to exist. There's dark beauty in that, and in the dark times Five has been through, I think that's probably most of the beauty he could have.

[ID: an illustration of Delores as a mermaid swimming in a pool and looking at Five. It is a distant overhead shot in 3 point perspective. They are in the ruins of what might be a courtyard or a bathhouse. The color palette is made of teals, oranges, pinks, and yellows. Also in the ruins are a handful of trees and plants, a stone bench, and a frieze of a mermaid. End ID.]

i dont really know what this is. why is delores a mermaid? what is this building? why is there a mermaid in it? what does this have to do with the umbrella academy? where did five find a mermaid? all of these questions and more are completely unanswered and you can decide for yourself. i just wanted to draw a mermaid, and tile, and five and delores, and a statue, all at the same time. enjoy!