about ready

i was looking for 'hikaru's 'idk :(' moments in hgsn and i realized its rarely there besides kinda the above pages until vol 4. i really think yoshiki ended this arc in vol 2 with "i'll have to teach him." and then proceeded to not really teach him anything or even question hikaru again, lol

by volume 3, yoshiki's stabbing hikaru bc he's given up after hikaru fucking up again😭 the events between "i'll have to teach him" and "let's look into it", yoshiki really just hangs out with hikaru (but now knowing he isnt the original hikaru) and assumes accepting him as a friend and letting him take out a hostile ghost or two solves the initial problem of hikaru not entirely having the same perspective of humans.

only hikaru putting an effort in to stabilize yoshiki's mental state in return for earlier gets yoshiki back to actually trying to think about the problem with hikaru's support

i know people are joking he's also currently avoiding thinking abt other events going on (dead guy on news, the fate of the old guy) and i think thats similar, lol. yoshiki's not fully able to handle it all with just him and hikaru. he goes from "i'll have to teach him" after laughing off smth hikaru did that he didnt like to "lets look into it" after establishing boundaries. i think he's definitely developing in that regard, and maybe more if other characters aid them..?

ill be having such a good time then Boom, someone says something

ok fine im a bit pissy

I did not spend HOURS of EVERY DAY this week, most often WELL AFTER MIDNIGHT

doing things for certain types of encampment that I CANT TALK ABT ON SOCIAL MEDIA ON RISK OF SELF-INCRIMINATION

to be palestine-guilted over MEMEING ABOUT MISHA COLLINS

I did not WORK MYSELF TO EXHAUSTION

face *REDACTED* and *REDACTED*

to be told that my HAPPY LITTLE FANDOM POSTING on a site with NO FINANICAL OR ALGORITHMIC SIGNIFICANCE TO CELEBRITIES somehow undoes alllll of that.

is this a good post? no. does it apply to a lot of ppl? prolly not. could I lose followers/moots for this? yeah.

but its what I'm feeling rn.

Im going to fucking throw up

thought i hated this one girl just cuz her vibes are off but i just remembered something like actually awful she said the other day so nvm my hatred is justified actually

slowly wading my way through writing the new little dagger au fic. finished what i think will be the first chapter, assuming i stick with the chapter formula. still not sure about the formatting. im praying the end result wont be too confusing to follow. ah well like the old adage goes: fuck it we ball. if it all comes crashing down then i think i could upload what i have as a oneshot for the series. have a little wip snippet r smthn idk lol (tw swearing, violence, and threats of violence!!)

“Fucking—hell—!”  He’s wrenched forward so sharply he almost winds up on his face, but still he fights them, flailing and hissing and spitting. Claws out, he swipes blindly with his one available hand, misses, sways. Then, a set of knuckles comes down hard on the back of his head. He gasps, vision spinning, and a fist closes around his ear and yanks him up by it. He yowls. A low, snarling voice breaks through the heartbeat roaring in his head, breath hot against the fur of his ear: “Cut. It. Out. Or I’ll wring your fucking neck out right where you're standing, you hear me?” 

Google is it immoral to sexually fantasize about friends that have expressed that they do not have interest in you yes/no

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

if i dont move to nyc or london or paris by age 27 what is the point of anything

why the hell do people think the acknowledgement tht islam is sometimes used to justify homophobia = islamaphobia when it objectively doesnt. and why do ppl also wanna say its racist when theyre the ones who r refusing to let brown queer ppl speak out abt the religious trauma they have and the homophobia theyve faced in the name of islam when the same doesnt apply to white queer people speaking out about religious trauma they have and the homophobia theyve faced in the name of christianity. and why the hell do u think making queer people who were hurt in the name of islam feel isolated and as though our experiences dont matter in a community that was supposed to be there after we were rejected for our queerness often by our own families is worth it for an "islam is a fully pure religion that has never been used to hurt anyone ever" attitude that doesnt do anything to actually stop islamaphobia and creates the idea that islamaphobia is wrong because islam has never been used to hurt people which falls apart the second you breath near it because yes it fucking has instead of the real reason islamaphobia is wrong which is muslims are fucking human people who shouldnt be treated with discrimination and bigotry for their faith (which is distinctly different from having to hear that your faith that has been used to justify homophobia sometimes is used to justified homophobia sometimes btw since you people think theyre the same apparently). genuinely asking because for the love of god as a queer ex muslim im so fucking tired .

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

oh yeah i’ve got a bunch of loz aus that i haven’t really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i haven’t gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so that’s what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about

i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)

original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)

in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other work to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.

'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.

sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.

murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.

ruined hyrule 1: i have two au’s with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.

ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.

modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isn’t plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.

modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.

dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.

horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.

mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.

'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.

A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:

Warrior Cats

Batman

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Persona 5

Pokemon

(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)

So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!

Flipping violently back and forth between "Imposter is overrated and gets too much fandom content. I dont want to contribute to that" and "Imposter is such an intriguing and interesting villain I'd love to explore that."

*knows damn good and well itll be forever before he ever goes into animatic territory* man idk if i should use this song for this oc relationship or THIS oc relationship :(((

What to do when you want to *** but you're "not supposed to" drink yourself silly BC it's 11am, and also you can't leave your room without running into family and also you are useless and pointless and can't do anything right and that's just. How it's gonna be forever.