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#this is all in jest obviously this is a comedy show
raggedy-spaceman · 5 months
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"Amongst all of David's awards, you were recently named on the DILF list. Here's the top five: Pedro Pascal, Oscar Isaac, David Tennant, Mads Mikkelsen, Cillian Murphy. Oh, and Michael Sheen came in-" "Oh and where is he on the list?" "Michael Sheen's number six." "Number six! And just remind me where I am?" "Three, you're three." "Number three!"
Justice for Michael Sheen!
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ericspeartree · 8 months
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Hey all, here are my creativity test results. Think there's some work to be done! Here are some design preferences and prejudices too:
Design Preferences: 
Subversive Film - I am absolutely crazy about movies. I won’t sit here and try to argue that there’s one kind I love more than any other, because I’ve seen so many that I can find one from any genre that I absolutely adore. Still, I have extra respect for movies that push the boundaries of what can/should be done in film. I love any film that goes out of its way to defy the medium and any established rules of filmmaking. Within these terms, I’ll mention a few favorites: Mulholland Drive (2001), Pierrot Le Fou (1965), Persona (1966), The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), and Gummo (1997) stand out above many others to me. If I had to pick a favorite genre, it’d probably be horror, but if it ever comes down to movies I’m ready to talk all day about them. 
Sample Heavy Music - I adore the art of sampling. Few things give me as much of a genuine rush as when I’m listening to an album and I recognize the origin of a sample used in a song. My favorite album of all time is “Since I Left You” by The Avalanches, an album under the Plunderphonics subgenre that is made up of between 900 to 3,500 different samples, depending on who you ask. It is an album full of lively, danceable tunes that I cannot recommend enough. Other artists I love for their sampling abilities are Daft Punk, DJ Shadow, the Beastie Boys, MF DOOM, Madlib, Earl Sweatshirt, and Boards of Canada. 
Varying Kinds of Literature - I would hesitate to call myself well read, but I do try my best to read as much as I can. I think the novel is one of the most powerful mediums, since it can be formed in any way the author sees fit. It is truly a playground for creativity and I’ve found great pleasure in many kinds of literature, so I’ll name a few writers and works I love: Cormac McCarthy (Blood Meridian, All The Pretty Horses), Flannery O’Connor (Wise Blood, A Good Man is Hard to Find, Good Country People), David Foster Wallace (Infinite Jest, Good Old Neon), Thomas Pynchon (Inherent Vice, Gravity’s Rainbow), and Toni Morrison (Beloved). I think what I love most about these writers/works is how much they all utilize the flexibility of the novelistic form to create worlds and characters that could not be rendered in any other medium, or at least would be very difficult to. 
Design Prejudices: 
Minimalistic or Overly Plain Branding: I know many people generally despise the concept of branding as a whole, but I think I’ve pretty much come to terms with its universality. I often find that I grow attached to some kinds of branding, particularly logos, which upsets me even more whenever companies go out of their way to “rebrand” to some minimalistic junk. I understand the need (or perceived need) to appear modern/sleek/cool but to me there is nothing cool about something that looks like it can belong to any old brand. Some entities who I believed have changed their branding for the worse over the years: Pringles, Snapple, La Liga, Firefox, and Google. God forbid they do anything to the Coca-Cola logo. 
Clothing With the Brand Name on It: This one is real specific. I won’t pretend that I have a clue when it comes to fashion; my method for getting dressed every day is to wear whatever happens to be at the top of my drawer. Still, I find that I simply refuse to buy any clothing where the brand’s or store’s name is just blasted onto the front of it. The worst for this are places like Hollister, Aeropostale, even some of the hype-beast luxury brands, but special mention to Gap because I didn’t think I could hate 3 plain letters on a hoodie so much. 
Sitcoms About Nice/Overly Dumb People: Full disclosure, I have a dark sense of humor (within reason, obviously). I find that what makes me laugh in comedy is people acting completely awful. Think shows like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Veep. It works best because it shows the absurdity of life and the situations that arise from it. That’s why so many other comedies simply don’t work for me; they’re too focused on being nice that they just end up feeling toothless and milquetoast. I won’t name the shows I don’t like out of respect (it’s hard to write and direct!) but it’s something that always gets on my nerves. 
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official-rugi · 1 year
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Been talking with a couple of friends who have the new Pokemon game and saying that they're having a fun time and it's one of their favorite despite the glitches and performance issues, but I cant help but feel like the game looks glitchy and has issues from all the other stuff I've seen around the game on social media, and it's been rly conflicting trying to form an opinion. The game obviously has issues and bugs and was ABSOLUTELY made through crunch, but like when I was addressing what I saw on like Twitter and brought up stuff I found weird while my friend was showing it off in stream I got like a little made fun of and jested (by friends and its was cool, mostly as a joke or for comedy) but still made me feel like uncomfortable bringing up my concerns... so like am I like overreacting or crazy for having these issues? like part of me rly wants to give the game a try but like, also buying into it means at some level I'm cool with the game as it stands, which from what I've see of the glitches and bugs I'm kinda not...
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sketch--booked · 3 years
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I wanna complain about how the ninja treated Zane in the first few episodes real quick. Specifically in Home. Since I have some beef with the ninja.
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So remember that one time Zane froze the entire monastery without effort? Yeah, that was kinda cool,
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Now I begin to get angry, You’ve been warned--
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And the ninja, understandably, were upset and I can get that.
But then you see how they all kinda just--- treated him really badly all the time. I get it,, he’s got weird traits and does very “Zane” things (being unfazed to be in the bathroom with somebody, legitimately not understanding comedy and laughing at odd things, at least Nya and Jay weren’t watching a horror or slasher movie, and his famous sitting-in-the-fridge scene) but like--
They really gonna do this??
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Laugh at the guy for what he wears and throw around the food he made for them? Even Wu, may I add.
Can I also call attention to Jay, who throws something at Zane.
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AND LOOK AT HIM--
That is not a face of comfort? By any means?? Zane shows a very little range of emotion, in the early seasons especially. But when Jay throws his own food at him, he frowns. THAT’S EMOTION,, HE’S NOT HAPPY,,, THIS ISN’T A JOKE NOR IS IT FUNNY TO HIM.
And they just--Don’t even do a double-take.
I’m bewildered at just how horribly they treat him, in this scene specifically. Not one of them, NOT EVEN WU, takes a second to think about how Zane might feel in this moment??? IN FACT, If you listen carefully, you can hear Nya and Jay belittling him.
“He looks so cute in his apron!” and “Look at his face!”
THEY ACKNOWLEDGE THEY’RE BEING CRUEL LIKE WTF THIS MAKES ME SO MAD--I HOPE THEY WENT TO BED STARVING.
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So after this god awful display of friendship that makes me want to slap all the other ninja, we get the infamous Falcon scene.
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Zane has his general neutral kinda-angy-lookin’ expression. So we can’t really tell what he’s feeling in this moment, but it’s his actions that follow that say everything.
He sees the falcon and is intrigued by it and actually smiles. Which is good! That’s emotion! Well done, Zane, you’re learning!
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NOW IT’S THIS BIT---IS WHERE I GET REAL JUST---HHHHHMMM It’s in this moment, I wonder if Zane knows what a toxic friendship isghghgh I jest--
Zane is smiling when he sees the falcon fly off. He likes the bird but he lets it leave.
But then---
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Zane takes one brief look back to the sound of his friends and without a second doubt he BOOKS IT--
So from initially seeing this, you get the instant feeling that he would prefer to follow a mysterious bird into possible danger, than go back to his friends who are still laughing in the distance. He obviously was going to return back to them, they tease his lack of returning later in the episode WHICH I HOPE TO GET TO. But that does say enough about his actual feelings towards the rest. 
Strange, possibly evil bird---or my friends who’re probably going to continue to laugh at me.
It’s a nobrainer that he’d follow the bird??
He’s not truly upset at them, I don’t even think that Zane has the capability to really be angry ngl,, but he still chose the bird over his “family” and that’s what makes me so angry at the ninja. 
And to those who say “He’s not upset at the ninja, he’s just curious and the fact that he essentially ran away from them, doesn’t mean he dislikes them” I say,,, That is fair. And I will, for the sake of not looking like a dick, argue for that.
It’s clear that Zane likes to know stuff. In the beginning, he’s been the smart one. Even in this episode Kai says “We like the guy, he’s really smart..” then complains about him being weird. And later down the line he’s shown an interest in learning, being the only one in season 11 to actually read about the desert of doom and the Mechanic himself saying he’s an inquisitive nindroid in season 12.
So it’s understandable if Zane was simply sating his curiosity. But how can you tell me that the previous event was not a deciding factor in choosing the bird instead..
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I would now like to jump forward to when the ninja are at Lloyd’s tree-house (Can I point out that the first place the falcon took zane, was a tree-house. And the last was a tree house?? Anybody? okay just me--). 
And when they ask him how he found it; he tells them it’s because it danced. Jay then jokingly asks if it was a coo-coo bird, promoting everyone to--
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IF YOU GUESSED “laugh at him” YOU’D BE CORRECT, HOW DID YOU GUESS???
When he does his info dump thing they don’t even bother, they just shrug in unison--which ngl I do find funny ghghgh
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Now that’s where you’d think the Zane bullying stops right?
NOPE,, TIME TO BURN DOWN THE MONASTERY (this is a cool shot btw)
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This is a good shot too, because it sets up that Zane will be a focus, and you can already assume it’s because, in some essence, this is Zane’s fault.
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But then they go all out on him. They straight up tell him this was his fault, that he shouldn’t have followed the bird, he shouldn’t have been curious or try to help, that everything they had here is gone, and yell at him to his face “A teaching moment? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you get it? Everything is gone!” and it’s because of him.
In this moment they are taking out every frustration they had with him. They’re taking out every moment he’s gone into his own world and making their lives harder and that their home is gone because of him.
This is one of the very first, and very few times all the ninja have pitted against just one of their team. And it hurts. Because Zane’s reaction to this, his response to being treated horribly, having his food thrown at him like he didn’t spend likely hours making and planing it, like he doesn’t do the chores they probably wont do (taking out the rubbish earlier in the episode), is to go back to them like he wasn’t hurt by this at all. 
And y’know what could’ve solved this entire thing? What could’ve prevented the exclusion and the explosion that is their friendship. Communication. On both sides, neither of them communicated with each other. The ninja didn’t openly express their feelings towards Zane TO Zane, only Wu and probably Nya. And Zane never expressed anything, ever, like--literally nothing. His moment of most emotion is in episode 7 dammit.
And I just--This is an issue that’s followed through even to the new seasons. Honest to god some of the only times I can recall him actually expressing how he feels about something, is with Pixal, and when Kai persuades him to break his morals and cheat in the slug race. God please help me find more examples because I cannot remember anything else (I’m ignoring Decoded for the time being since the last episode of that was almost entirely “Zane therapy time”)
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Imma end it here because my rant juices have stopped flowing and I haven’t slept in many many long hours and I really would like to collapse right about now.
So i’m not saying Zane has it worst, he probably doesn’t,, but what I’m saying is that Zane had a tough time in the beginning especially. After Kai became properly a part of the group, it was Zane that they outcasted. And because they wouldn’t actually talk to him about what they all thought. They didn’t take the time to understand him and only realized they missed him and how badly they’d been treating him when he was gone.
In the start, they were bad friends, they were horrible in fact. Zane tried, or didn’t. Where he didn’t understand people or social cues, he understood being kind and doing the right thing. 
The ninja did however work from this. As of this episode, they tone down the mistreatment and make a bigger effort to get the guy. And it’s all explained and finished in episode 7.
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Overall, I really like this episode! I think the characters were great! I think the humor was great! I think the progression was great! I dunno why some o’ yall think I don’t like something because I hate it. I can hate-love something, and you’ll find there are a lot of things I hate-love in ninjago.
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thattimdrakeguy · 3 years
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so i’m guessing you’re not of tim and purple girl right? as a ship
Do you mean Steph? Cause if you mean Steph then, yeah I don’t like them together.
I put my reasons down below, it goes on long. I just felt like saying all my reasons, because one Steph ask always leads to a few more it feels like, and they’re never really nice, and being a hub of spreading negativity isn’t what I’m a fan of. So I’d rather just keep it in a hidden large optional to open box at the moment.
I enjoyed Stephanie as a side character and a foil, and felt like she had plenty of openings for interesting stories if they used her a certain way, but once they tried forcing a romance between them together it just felt really uncozy.
Because Stephanie could already be really uncomfortable sometimes. She kissed Tim against his wishes twice, which I’m pretty sure you can brand as sexual assault if you really wanted to. And while Tim might’ve kissed her without her consent first, I find there’s a difference in tone between Tim just being so excited that he wasn’t going to die that he’d just leap at the first face he saw, as some people are actually prone to do in adrenaline run events like that, versus Steph just taking advantage of Tim. They’re both freaking gross, but the way Steph did it is obviously way worse.
Plus all the flirting despite Tim telling her not to do it, and it obviously making him uncomfortable, just becomes sexual harassment as well.
Plus, Tim is at least two years younger than Stephanie. Dixon said in an interview that Stephanie was made to be sixteen, and she debuted in a story where Tim would either be thirteen or fourteen. Which just makes it all worse. If I remember right she even notes that Tim is clearly younger than her in her origin story.
To me it’s fine though, as long if they’re not dating, because I don’t need a character to be a fully good person to be a good character. And I’m not saying Stephanie is a bad person, but she’s just very morally gray in a lot of ways and that behavior was in the darker shades of gray. Their relationship just wasn’t one where they actually got along. They even got in fights during then because their way of going about things just weren’t compatible. They had moments of getting along, not a good healthy relationship. They were just toxic.
Nothing about them really said that they would, or should date. It just wouldn’t work, then when they do date it’s actually proven.
Sure, they did a date issue that was really cute and all that, but don’t they just seem notably really off? Even in the build up, that Dixon grossly placed right after when Ariana got sent to an all girl school and Tim got in-trouble, because Ariana was in a fragile mental state after being nearly sexually assaulted and wanted to have sex with Tim, and even though Tim managed to talk her down her uncle came in and all that chaos happen.
Basically, I find it reeeaaal gross that Dixon made it so Tim suddenly had an interest in dating Steph after such an emotional moment in his relationship with Ariana. I understand that since Ariana was sent away to an all-girl-school that you could say they were technically broken up because of that, but it’s still really out of line, because Tim never had an interest in Steph like that, and it’s been made clear plenty of times, and two, because it still comes across as cheating even though Tim was adamantly against cheating, and he’s incredibly stubborn with his morals. Those are established parts of his character. Which makes how Dixon wrote it all seem very out of character.
I’m not even against the idea Tim would cheat fully, but it would have to be in a way that’s actually nuanced and within the character. Not just for cheap drama, or because a writer getting ahead of himself didn’t evidently realize or at least care what he was doing. Tim is an immature fourteen year old, those are the years you learn how difficult relationships are and understanding the world. Tim’s character in particular is about thinking you know the world when you don’t. So that is a story option with him, but that’s not how they portray it within this story. It would have to be something Tim was oblivious about what he was getting into. Not something so obvious Tim just seems like a total idiot if he didn’t realize. They even beat around the bush with how Tim is a cheater, because clearly they don’t want Tim to come off as a bad guy, Dixon just wants Tim to date Steph. They even have it so Ariana conveniently asks Tim if they wanna break up since their relationship been so dramatic, but stay as friends.
It’s so clunky, and forced, and out of character. It was a dreadful story in what was up to that point a pretty clear line of quality for the series.
And then basically they had one arc before Steph broke up with Tim. The pregnancy arc, where Tim describes himself as Steph’s friend rather than “boyfriend”, and he briefly moves to Keystone City. Making their relationship not seem very important besides little phone call moments and Tim comes to her when she’s having the baby.
Steph wouldn’t be seen often or at least consistently for a short while till she broke up with Tim because she wasn’t sure rather or not Tim was someone she could trust since she didn’t know who he was. Which is actually a really interesting point, but as the arc goes on she just shows so many signs of emotional abuse. And this is all written by her creator so it just shows who she is. It isn’t even an arc by another writer trying to ruin her, it’s just who she is. She even has two moments where she shows signs of being physically abusive. Which just makes it feel dark even if ones played for comedy and could be taken in jest.
She puts a random boy in danger because of her irrational assumptions. She’s portrayed as a totally toxic person to date. Making it even more difficult to wanna see them be together.
And Dixon just scoots all over that, because at the end of his run, he ignores storytelling in favor of just basically ignoring all of that to have them date again, Steph suddenly being allowed in the Batcave by Batman as well as Batman telling her Tim’s identity, in another out of character display just because Dixon wanted to push Stephanie some more before he left.
After that it’s basically just ups and downs of generic romance moments that don’t even feel really like them, some fights that bitterly kind of do. And then she “dies”, because Didio or someone wanted a cheap death to make an arc feel like more when it just made it feel awful. It’s bitter and just squeamish that they’d treat a teenage girl character like that.
None of their relationship is helped by Tim constantly being passive aggressive to Steph because he has a hard time dealing with her kind of personality, and his immaturity making it difficult for them to relate a lot of the time. They just don’t seem like a happy couple, or one that should be together.
I feel the need to say all this, because I feel like when I get one ask about Steph about fifty follow, and it always ends up upsetting people that want to attack me and make me feel bad about my existence. So I just wanted to summarize why all here.
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mateoweston · 3 years
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LIKE A CANDLE IN A WINDOW → HEADCANON
who: mateo weston, rory flanagan (@switch-it-up-rory)
when: march 6th, 2021
where: mateo’s room
warnings: feelings!!
Mateo Weston
"I'll have to swing by your work sometime this week," Mat mused, absently tapping through his Netflix library in a half-hearted attempt at finding a movie to put on. Mostly, he was trying to distract himself for at least a moment because he kept catching himself staring at Rory for just a second too long. Maybe some ridiculous comedy show would do the trick and keep him on track until Wednesday. This weekend was supposed to help him calm down so he could be calm, cool and collected when he smoothly told Rory about his feelings over perfectly made stir fry on Wednesday, god damn it. "I've never actually had a smoothie from there and I feel like I gotta change that."
Rory Flanagan
Rory was aware of how comfortable he had made himself on Mateo's bed, settled in as if he himself was part of the furniture, watching the Dominant's hands intently as he scrolled through Netflix, though Rory struggled to concentrate on his good days, never mind when he was this close to the one person he felt like he couldn't have. "They're not that great," He replied, though he felt like his mouth had disconnected from his brain, "Like I'm sure they just shot whatever's closest to them in. I'd just get like a coffee."
Mateo Weston
Laughing to himself, Mat shifted to shoot a look back at Rory who looked way too comfortable and natural cozied up in his bed. It was his fault, really. With his stupid face and stupid smile and the stupid way his dumb hair flopped in his face every now and then. "You're a great spokesperson," he managed after a moment, raising an eyebrow at the other. "They have you outside the store, advertising like that?"
Rory Flanagan
Rory noticed Mat glancing at him, and shot a wink in his direction. "I mean if I were going to be the face of any company, I don't think it'd be The Wave. My allegience is to to Golden Arches, obviously," He mentioned, daring himself to shift closer to Mat, to just be in touching distance. "But I do think me standing otuside with one of those signs would pull in customers. Raw sex appeal and all tha'."
Mateo Weston
His head shook fondly at the mention of McDonalds -- that whole concept still seemed like a fever dream to him that he tried to only acknowledge half of the time. Feeling Rory shift a bit closer, his eyes remained stubbornly on his Laptop even though he'd stopped actually reading any of the names or descriptions a while ago and instead focused entirely of the warmth of Rory radiating against his bare arm. God, this was ridiculous. "Think I'd get a discount for being the first customer?"
Rory Flanagan
Rory frowned slightly when he noticed Mat hover over some terrible chick flick, wondering briefly if the other man had officially lost his marbles. He also thought about taking overthe Netflix selection, but he didn't want to be too obvious in his excuses to simply touch the Dominant. "I mean I'd give you a discount any day, you just have to come in when I'm on shift." Rory told him, honestly.
Mateo Weston
"Oooh, that sounds special treatment to me," Mat hummed, maybe a little high on the proximity as he looked back again, a little distracted by how much closer Rory seemed now than the last time he'd looked at him. His gaze lingered this time, because apparently Rory was now also capable of hypnotising him or something. "Whatever did I do to deserve that?"5. März 2021
Rory Flanagan
Rory scoffed at Mat's light teasing, the words that he wanted to say to the Dom dying on his lips as quickly as they formed, so he shrugged and laughed again. "You feed me and entertain me. I imagine if the gremlins had part time jobs, they'd give those who got them wet and fed them after midnight a bit of special treatment too." He settled for, glancing up at him, feeling weirdly exposed that Mat was right there. Staring. He couldn' think for a moment, just looking up at his stupid face that made Rory catch stupid feelings for this stupid man. "But, uh, who knows. You might get a free smoothie I spat in or something." He tried, though it seemed to fall flat to his ears.
Mateo Weston
A slow, absent grin had spread across Mat's face as he listened. A small part of his brain was aware of how fucking done for he was, considering he was sitting here entirely charmed by talk of spit smoothies, but the bigger part was extremely distracted by that very thing. Rory's stupid pretty face and the stupid charming things he says and how he seems to be able to get under his skin without even trying. How him sitting so close made his skin prickle with heat and his mouth go a little dry. So it took a moment for his brain to recognise his own voice when he spoke. "You're so fucking cute."
Rory Flanagan
It was like everything stopped when the words had left Mateo's mouth. It wasnt like he hadn't complimented Rory before, but never cute, never in that tone of voice. He rasied an eyebrow at the Dominant, trying to work out the game, or the joke, but couldn't sense anything in the other man's facial expressions or the way he spoke. A little voice in Rory's brain, a semblane of hope he thought died long ago from the drugs and the drink, told the Switch this was the proof he needed that Mateo actually liked him, in the way he wanted him to, and he wondered if he dared put the feelers out, to see where this could head. "Aye, so I've been told," He said, after what felt like hundreds of years, "But I guess it, uh, takes a cutie to know one." The delivery couldn't have been lamer, but he felt suddenly sweaty and self-conscious. "I am like, being serious, you're cute too." He mumbled.
Mateo Weston
Where Mat's heart had been pounding a tad faster before, it seemed to straight up drop into his stomach once his brain caught up with his mouth. His eyes widened in realisation and he was about to back-track, cover up what he'd just said -- but he decided against it. It was out now and evidence suggested he was terrible at keeping this a secret anyway so maybe it was worth just seeing what would happen. The long stretch of silence that followed didn't help his nerves though and he almost considered changing the topic anyway. And then Rory spoke and at first, Mat thought he was just going to joke, that he'd have to try and pass it off as a fun little jest as well. But then he kept going and suddenly there was a nervous lump in Mat's throat. Swallowing thickly, he shifted more towards him, voice a little smaller and hopeful than the usual bravado he went into everything with. "Yeah?" he questioned. "...Been thinking that for a hot sec."
Rory Flanagan
It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room when Mat shifted closer to Rory, and though there had been times before this, where they had been intimate within a scene setting, this was so much different. He found himself glancing at the Dominant's mouth, before his eyes locked with his. "Yeah," He agreed, "I mean, I'd argue you're more than cute but if I go on about how attractive I find you, it'll only go to that head of yours," He teaseed, "You have?"
Mateo Weston
At the joke, a bit of held breath spilled out of Mat's lungs, a small chuckle going along with it. It was just what he'd needed to release some tension and with that out of the way, he felt a little brave. Like maybe this wouldn't ruin things. Maybe the opposite. Reaching for one of Rory's hands, he held it between both of his, thumbs rubbing against his skin. "Yeah. That okay?"
Rory Flanagan
Rory felt like a weight had been lifted off him, and he couldn't help the stupid grin on his face when Mat gently reached for his hand, like he was some sort of love interest in a rom-com. "That's more than okay." Rory promised him, "You can think about me being cute or amazing or drop dead sexy and gorgeous anytime." He teased. Another thought popped into his head that made the weight feel like it was slowly descending on him again and he cleared his throat, shifting slightly. "So I take it....by thinking that I'm cute....it means you feel a way about me?" He asked, the actual words he wanted to ask not forming, but he had a feeling Mateo would understand him regardless.
Mateo Weston
"You're gonna make me wanna take it back," he threatened, though there was no real weight to his words, grin still on his face. It was strange, how worried and nervous he'd been about this for a whole week only for things to go so much better than he could have hoped. Rory hadn't fled yet nor had the world collapsed because Mat was interested in a guy. He nodded at his words first, then cleared his throat -- then suddenly let out a small laugh. "God, and I had this whole fucking plan to wine and dine you on Wednesday and have a mature conversation about this. It's your stupid face that did this to me."
Rory Flanagan
Rory hummed in response but he rolled his eyes playfully at the threat, blowing a kiss in response. He knew there was a lot that they needed to unpack, to talk about, but in this moment, the Irish lad just wanted to be happy. Just wanted to enjoy the fact that the guy he had been yearning for returned his affections. His heart panged at the reveal of Mat's plans, and he reached out to stroke his arm in an assuring way, no longer worried about him freaking out at such a gesture. "I mean, you still can. I'm very good at acting surprised. And the whole mature convo, that can come too." He grinned a mischevious grin at the accusation, "Aye don't blame the stupid face you're insanely attracted to, it did nothing but develop out of a good pool of genetics."
Mateo Weston
The grin on his face widened, losing all of its unsure edge. He'd been so concerned that things would change, that they wouldn't be able to be them anymore once this was out in the open and he was so relieved to find that being untrue. "Alright, I'm gonna kiss you now," he announced before leaning in to do just that. It was soft at first, gentle lips against Rory's as his hands came up to cup his face. While Mat may not always choose the gentle approach, he wanted it for this -- he wanted to savour the moment and be able to remember it later.6. März 2021
Rory Flanagan
The Switch was about to make a smart comment about the time between Mat announcing his feelings for him and the lack of kissing, when it seemed like the Dominant had read his mind, and suddenly his lips wre on Rory's. It was much more gentle than Rory had expected, but it was welcome all the same, and he kissed back eagerly, whilst trying to keep things at this same, soft level. The Switch's arms found themselves draped over Mat's shoulders, and it could have been seconds, minutes or even hours by the time they broke apart. "That was nice," He said with a chuckle, feeling like his brain had fell out of his head.
Mateo Weston
Letting out a breathy laugh once the kiss broke, Mat nodded in agreement. "It was." There was a brief pause before he went back, more passionately this time. As ridiculous as he'd felt the past couple of nights, rolling around sleeplessly and thinking about kissing Rory like some sort of innocent schoolboy, he had to admit -- the real thing beat the fantasy. A hand slipped from Rory's jaw into the hair at the back of his head, tilting the other's head in a way that allowed him to deepen the kiss. He could spend forever doing this.
~~FADE TO BLACK~~
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chunkecheeks · 5 years
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a full summary of Joker (2019) because god I wish it was a joke
Okay so... lemme dump all this bullshit under a cut
if you want to know how this movie actually is without all the pain of sitting down for 2 hours feeling like you’re trapped in a very uncomfortable conversation then here you go! (warning for gun violence and inaccurate mental illness stuff)
Joker opens with the Joker (whose name is arthur) putting on clown makeup and manipulating his mouth to be a grin or frown with his fingers. This goes on for just long enough to feel uncomfortable. Joker cries.
Cut to Joker standing outside a shop in full clown getup with a sign advertising a business. A bunch of teens run by and steal his sign so he chases them into an alleyway where they smack him with the sign and then do this to him:
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Also it’s revealed he has a laughing condition which I guess is a real condition but I highly doubt the depiction in this movie is accurate bc none of the ways they handle mental illness is accurate. 
Arthur lives with his mother and has a weird Norman Bates esque relationship with her. He loves her a lot. This is important information for later when Really Dumb plot shit happens
So arthur is getting bullied by Mean Teenz and another dude at his clown agency just gives him a gun to protect himself. Guns are (obviously) not allowed to be carried on the job but the guy is like “no one has to know”  Later Arthur is in the elevator with a cute girl who lives in his apartment building. She tries to make small talk with him and when the elevator stalls she mimes putting a gun to her head in jest. After they get off the elevator arthur does this back in a really exaggerated and uncomfortable way and she awkwardly smiles at him. Apparently he’s now in love
The next day he stalks this girl. That night she comes to his door and is like “hey are u talking me” and he’s like “haha yeah” and she’s like “okay cool i like u now”
Arthur goes to perform as a clown at a childrens hospital and then gun falls out of his pants and then he gets fired
Still in full clown suit many many hours later arthur rides the subway. A girl is getting harassed by 3 dudes. There is no reason for her to even be in this scene. I guess they were trying to build these 3 dudes up as bad guys but she looks to arthur for help and he just starts his nervous laughing thing and she leaves the subway train. The 3 dudes start bullying arthur and arthur opens fire on them MULTIPLE time. One escapes the train into the (conveniently empty) station and arthur shoots him multiple times. this part- god I wish i was fucking funny enough to write something like this, I was choking in the theater trying not to laugh because it was dead quiet but i was in TEARS
After murdering three guys arthur enters a public restroom. He hyperventilates for like a second AND THEN STARTS DOING AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE! This felt like it went on for five minutes but it was probably more like 1. But that seems to be a trend with the whole movie because it felt like it took me several years to sit through it.
After this he goes back to his apartment, knocks on the cute girl’s door, and when it opens he forcefully kisses her. She kisses him back because that’s totally not unwelcome and disgusting or anything (this is later apparently something that never happened but it doesn’t make it any less gross to watch in the moment)
The joker killing those three dudes sets off a revolution?? cause they were “rich”? They weren’t like CEOs or big figures in the economic world, they weren’t even rich enough to not have jobs or have their own businesses, they were just employees of Thomas Wayne??? And from what it seems it doesn’t look like the fact they were assholes is known by the general public. Like... I don’t think the murder of three random semi rich dudes would start an eat-the-rich style revolution. If it was like thomas wayne himself then yeah you can go for that angle but the glorification of Joker’s murders doesn’t seem logical
So joker tries doing standup comedy and sucks real hard
It’s revealed that Joker is Batman’s half brother so he goes to the Wayne’s house and does magic tricks for Bruce who is a little kid at this point and then he... sticks his fingers in Bruce’s mouth to make him smile??? for a long amount of time? and bruce never reacts. Also he chokes out a butler (im assuming alfred but he’s never named) in front of Bruce and then runs off
His mom has a stroke while he’s out and he finds out his mom was in an asylum for a while and he goes there and grabs her file and finds out that she was in there for schizophrenia and because her boyfriend abused both her and Arthur and he doesn’t remember this. He then goes to the hospital and, despite all the buildup of him loving his mother and never doubting her and believing her side of the story, assumes the schizophrenia thing makes it true that she was lying to him about thomas wayne being his dad and smothers her with a pillow. There’s a heart monitor that goes crazy while she’s being smothered but instead of flatlining when she dies it just shuts off? he’s never caught for this
He breaks into the apartment of the cute girl (who he has gone on several dates with at this point) and it’s revealed that their relationship never happened to emphasize that he’s CrAzY!! OOOOH! no surprise all of the mental illness stuff they try to pull in this is inaccurate, based off stereotypes, and as someone with psychosis it’s downright insulting.
Arthur then goes home and there’s an entire scene of him pulling everything out of his fridge and then crawling inside and the shot of the closed fridge lasts, again, an awkward amount of time.
He gets invited onto his favorite talk show because the talk show host saw his shitty standup and thought it would be funny if he got him on the show
He gets in full joker paint and also paints his tongue to remind the audience WHOA! THIS GUY IS CRAZY!
The clown who gave him the gun and another clown who’s a little person (and frankly only in the movie so they can make garbage jokes at his expense) come over bc they heard his mom died and then he kills the clown that gave him the gun
He goes dancing down the stairs like in that horrible trailer and the detectives looking for the clown who killed the subway dudes see him and are like “yeah okay that’s the guy” and chase him
He gets to the show and forcefully kisses a woman on air (for a very uncomfortable amount of time! again! also no one does anything the audience just cheers and the talk show host is like “haha wow what an entrance”) and then he makes a shitty joke about a dead kid and everyone is like hm that’s bad don’t joke about that and since the director of this film is one of those “political correctness ruined comedy! i can’t joke about anything anymore!” type guys I feel like this is a very self inserted gripe of his
He announces on live tv he killed the subway dudes and doesn’t get arrested instead the talk show host just like... tries to debate him
and then he goes “what do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a society that abandons him? you get what you deserve!” and shoots the talk show host. That’s the worst line I have ever heard in any movie ever
This sets off a riot and after joker gets arrested his supporters free him then lay his unconscious body on the hood of a cop car and crowd around him like he’s jesus
Bruce Wayne’s parents get killed in the meantime and then joker wakes up and does his interpretive dance on the hood of the car while everyone cheers
The movie ends with him in the asylum where he then kills another person and escapes
I don’t know what the end credits scene was because I could not take any more of this
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insanityclause · 4 years
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Just months ago, following a critically acclaimed run at London's Harold Pinter Theatre, the four-person cast of Betrayal all made their Broadway debuts. One of the four was Eddie Arnold.
With poetic precision, rich humor, and an extraordinary emotional force, Betrayal charts a compelling seven-year romance, thrillingly captured in reverse chronological order. Arnold brings humor to the revered Pinter play, not only starring as the Waiter, but also understudying 'Jerry' and 'Robert'- roles played by stage and screen stars Charlie Cox and Tom Hiddleston.
Before Betrayal, Eddie starred in stage productions of Hamlet, The Vote, Journey's End, Jumpy, Saki. His film credits include: Mary Queen of Scots, Dead in October, Guardians, The List. Television credits include: "People Just Do Nothing," "Sticks and Stones," "De Infiltrant," "Man in an Orange Shirt," "The Vote."
As the play begins its final weeks on Broadway (closing on December 8, 2019), Eddie checked in with BroadwayWorld to reflect on the show's journey so far and how he is preparing to say goodbye to Broadway.
I know that a lot has happened in the past year, from opening in London to coming here... has it all hit you yet that you're really on Broadway?
I don't think it will hit me until it's too late and I get back home and say, "Oh no, it's over!" [Laughs] I feel like I'm living in this hyper-reality of the world that I used to be in. London was so incredible and such a lucky experience to get to share the stage with these three geniuses, and to be directed by Jamie [Lloyd], and to speak Harold Pinter's lines. But to then have the opportunity to come to New York, which I've only been on holiday to, and be able to come and offer it up to a new set of eyes is incredible. The American audience gets to experience it in a different way now. It was all so incredibly lucky. I feel like i've been floating on this bubble of happiness the whole five months I've been here. I've fallen in love with this city.
You're now a few months into the run. How has it been going at the Jacobs since opening night?
We are definitely all counting our lucky stars every night that we got this lovely, beautiful theatre that we've been invited to perform in. The audiences have been so receptive and so responsive. The funny thing is that the play has so many different threads that you can follow throughout, that an audience can be laughing hysterically one night and almost silent the next night... and yet they are just as into it at the end. They end up getting lost in the words and liking or disliking one of the characters for whatever reason. Or the next night someone else becomes vilified or loved or pitied. Each time it is so different.
It's really beautiful to see that every night, because I get to listen to it through the relays for about two thirds of the show. I get to watch how the audience is gauging it and how the actors are honing in on parts of each scene and working it in a different way. It really pumps me up. Like a football team has "Eye of the Tiger," I get to listen to Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Cox and Zawe Ashton perform scenes 1-6.
The magic of live theatre! Every time is something different...
Coming into the show in a later scene, in a production where the other characters don't leave the stage, I always get this beautiful feeling as the audience turns and watches me walk on. They're going, "Who the heck is that guy and why is he on stage?" And then it moves to, "Oh, ok! Here is a new dynamic that we haven't seen that will spice things up." They warm very quickly. I think Pinter has written it in a really great spot, where all of these characters that have been onstage before have been firing at each other constantly. Now suddenly, they have this new person who they can direct all of their anger and sadness and annoyance at. He's not going to beaten down that easily though!
This being a drama, with some comedic moments, you're the biggest moment of comic relief in the play. Is there pressure in that?
There's never any pressure going on because you've got to live in the reality of the moment- there are these very angry, posh men in front of you, who are trying their best to conceal their feelings for each other, especially with the information and power they hold over each other. So I've been caught up in this very awkward conversation and how do I talk my way out of it as quickly and effectively as possible? And of course they keep going in berating me. The comedy is really written into it already. So I just try to go into it as naturally as possible. Sometimes people laugh! At the end of the day you just have to be truthful to what you're playing and hopefully the writing and direction will help you out when you're not firing on all cylinders.
Were you intimidated at all at the beginning of the rehearsal process in London?
I had seen a lot of Jamie's work before. Three Days of Rain was such an incredible production and I had seen lots of the Pinter stuff as well. Obviously he is very big director who has done a lot of acclaimed work in London. Then the other guys, if you don't know who they are, you've been living with your head in the sand. At the end of the day I just wanted to nail the part as much as possible.
And luckily for someone like myself and others in this industry, between jobs, you serve at bars or restaurants. It's part of being a gigging actor. I made sure that I brought all of that experience- how many times I've bitten my lip at someone dropping their food and looking to me to pick it up... I thought, I can do this. I've done it before. It's actually a lot more pleasant this way because I can do it with lovely people and we can have a laugh about it in the end.
So intimidated wasn't it... more like honored. I'm so happy to have been allowed to perform and learn. You learn so much just from watching actors of this much talent and ability. Hopefully some of it will seep in and I'll be able to take it to my next job.
Have the four of you become close?
Oh yes, we've had a lovely time!
Your Halloween costumes were incredible.
Oh! They were great, weren't they? Captain America fit the bill for me. And I had to come out first as the leader of the Avengers. But we had so much fun dressed up like that. It was pure laughs backstage.
You've got a lot of time offstage throughout the course of the play. How do you occupy yourself?
I've read quite a few books! Right now I'm halfway through Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. It is about 800 pages and people call it the most remarkable achievement of the modern era of novel-writing. Then I've got another called A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. That one is about 700 pages long! So I'm trying to eat my way through both of those.
Then Dylan [S. Wallach] and Jesmille [Darbouze] are right above me. We get to hang out and catch up, which is lovely. We watch the show and run lines once or twice a week. Then I get to chill in pants and wait for my turn to go on.
So you have your own dressing room?
Yes! I bought a couple of plants to zhuzh it up, but I'm going to be really sad to leave it. It's been home for the last five months and it feels very much a part of me. I have very quickly adapted to life here.
What have you enjoyed the most about being a New Yorker?
Everyone is so incredibly welcoming. Also, New York has the best Italian food ever- I love Italian food. I still haven't bee to the Bronx, where I'm told the proper, old-school Italian restaurants are. That is definitely on my list of things to do before we finish.
Also, there are all these sports that don't even exist in England, like basketball and American football, baseball, ice hockey. I've been to see the Knicks and the Mets! I'm really trying to soak up every but of this American lifestyle before it gets taken away from me. [Laughs]
Have you gotten to see any other shows?
Oh goodness, yes! We saw Sea Wall/A Life, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Tom Sturridge. That was incredible. In the same way as our play, it felt so natural and timeless. It was so beautifully acted. I went to see Dear Evan Hansen as well. That was phenomenal. Tom and I went to see it and then we've been singing the songs ever since. We're backstage singing our hearts out! That kind of acting, where you come on and sing for two and a half hours... it seems like an alien thing to me. I cannot imagine ever being to do that. How do they do that?
So doing a musical is not on your bucket list?
It might be on my bucket list, but I don't think that anyone would come to see it! [Laughs]
With just a few weeks until the end of the show's run, what are you most looking forward to in the time you have left?
I want to eat as much American food as I can! [Laughs] No, it's about not taking anything for granted. Everything becomes so happy and easy until these last few weeks and now I have to start saying goodbye to people. I need to make sure I've said thank you to about 500 people who have made this experience what it is. I need to seek them out and tell them personally. Any of my free time will be spent hunting people down to show my appreciation.
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derangedroyalfae · 5 years
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May 27, 2019 3:20PM
I was feeling lonely and suffocated. I had just been around people, but it was probably what made the loneliness worse. When the people you’re with don’t make you feel included or like you don’t connect with them. Besides, I hardly consider drunk people as people worth having conversations with. They’re incoherent and random, filterless and unaware.
Last night, sometime in the evening while light was still out, I thought I would hang out with my family for a little in the hot tub. They’re always inviting me and I’m usually declining, so I thought maybe I would give them some time (even if I was invited this time around). I planned on sitting in the hot tub for only a little while, going inside to eat dinner, and then cleaning the house as a surprise birthday gift for my ma since it’s her birthday today. Immediately upon coming out, Bunny and my ma were elated, my ma especially, and ushered me in, invasively grabbing me and hugging me as soon as they could and spouting random nonsense. It didn’t take me long to realize these two blonde women were fucking drunk. My dad was out there too and the entire time I was out there, he was either being affectionate with his wife, or like me, trying to dodge being in the middle of the cat fights. My ma and sister had kept playfully getting at each other’s throat, a whole “I’ll throw you in if you to the pool if piss me off” mentality but in a jesting way. Haphazardly they’d slap at each other’s breast and get in each other’s face and have conversations posing as arguments that hadn’t needed to be a thing. At one point, they tried talking about how men don’t understand what it’s like having periods/ovaries, and at the same, women don’t understand having testicles (to which my tranny-ass was tempted to say something, but that’s just the exception, not the rule, right?) and around that point I was not wanting to put my hunger off any longer and decided to go in. When I started to leave, they were upset and asking me to stay, to which I responded I was hungry so they ushered me to bring my food out. They also insisted this was a good conversation for me to listen to. …THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT I STUDY: sex and gender. This is a MAJORITY of my conversations at school, maybe not only specifically those sex organs, but it’s the same topic. Besides, I would be fine having that conversation if it wasn’t sloppy-ass drunk people who were more rambling than conversing. I wasn’t having fun anyway.
Around 8PM is when I finally got inside the house to eat. While I was eating, I began making preparations for cleaning and mixed a pre-made salad for my ma since she asked me. My dad eventually came in too and began watching things on the TV, mainly a comedy firefighter show. No one seemed to be aware of what I was doing. A couple times, my ma and Bunny came in, but they were still soaking wet and obviously didn’t even try to dry off before hand. They were mainly coming in for split moments just to get something or whatnot. They leaked all over the place, I had to use a couple of towels to dry up the floor to keep myself from slipping and falling. After a while, I finished my cleaning (dishes, vacuuming, mopping, etc) and went upstairs, debating if I should start getting ready for bed.
I went into my bathroom and immediately closed the door, locked it, and then sat in front of it. My mood was all wonked and I felt lonesome. I didn’t want to be in this household anymore. It’s not like things are terrible, it’s not really abusive (aside one family member on an emotional/mental level), but I just didn’t want to live here. But the one place I want to live, I cannot, and it’s mainly because my metamour moved in, and she’s taking it for granted. I would have been able to get over my petty jealousy if she wasn’t taking her situation, the situation I wanted (at the beginning of this semester, I was going to talk to my girlfriends about the possibility of moving in with them over summer, but then my metamour officially moved in during January/February and thus there was no space for me to as well), for granted, and in doing so, hurting our girlfriend. I’ve gotten to a point where I honestly do not like my metamour, I’m only polite and chill around her for my girlfriend’s sake. She’s rude, inconsiderate, and has no manners. I do not like her, and it’s not just the jealousy speaking. My metamour sounds as though she’s moving out soon, but it feels wrong to immediately be like “can I move in” once she leaves, as I’m sure it will be too much resemblance of her moving in and my living environment isn’t bad enough to move in. Issues with my metamour aside, on the bathroom floor, I was desperate to find someone to talk to. Neither of my girlfriends were showing to be online and neither was my best friend. Besides, I felt like talking on a phone more than anything. I hate text. It was after 10:30, so I knew Kitty would probably be awake, but Hummingbird already announced she was off to bed. 
Suddenly, arguing between my family from downstairs started happening and I got nervous. At 10:39PM, I tried calling Kitty, but there was no answer (it didn’t even feel like it rang enough times). I tried making conversations with people on tinder, but kept in mind that it was getting late. At 10:42PM, I called up Hummingbird and got her on the phone for about 6min. Immediately fear and shakiness poured out of my voice when she answered. I was honest and told her what was happening, how I was lonely but something was happening downstairs. I couldn’t even pinpoint which blonde was fighting with my dad, but it was clearly one or both of the two from the hot tub and my father. I was eventually able to figure that all three were arguing, but not sure who’s side anyone was on or what the basis was. I didn’t let the conversation with Hummingbird drag on since I thought I was being paranoid and this would blow over soon and I knew she was trying to go to bed. I wished her a goodnight and hung up.
Shortly after, I saw Kitty was online, so I messaged her:
Royal (05/26 10:51 PM) Were you away from your phone? Kitty (10:51 PM) It didn't even ring? It's right next to me Hummingbird picked hers up, I heard you sounded upset What's going on? Royal (10:52 PM) Weird, I called it I don’t know I don’t know what’s going on At first I was lonely but then shit started to happen
It didn’t take long for Kitty to call me (10:53PM). She stayed on the phone with me for nearly 2hrs. Near the beginning, Hummingbird even messaged me:
Hummingbird (05/26 11:00 PM) I couldn't make out majority of what you said on the phone. If you need us we are here. Kitty is still up if you need to talk. If you need to get out, just say the word. I'm worried and I love you
Most of my phone conversation with Kitty was me relaying what was happening as it was happening. I also did let her in on my feelings of being alone. At one point, my ma tried yelling at everyone that we’re being kicked out and have 30 days to go. She then said she’d give up 60 days to be generous. My dad kept trying to reason with them but in a very argumentative and aggressive way. I found it dumb that he kept trying to make a drunk person listen and understand. I was often shaken and crying during most of it, but somewhere around the hour and half mark it was just frustrating and annoying to hear them arguing in cycles and cycles and cycles and cycles. You know what happens with you push a revolving door? It spins. They had moments where they’d go quiet and then just start back up again. My father yelled and screamed at the two of them to go, so my ma had decided to listen and told Bunny to pack up some stuff since they were going to go to a hotel. Bunny was hysterical and crying like crazy. At one point, I poked out of there and said “Please tell me neither of you are planning on driving.” Bunny immediately got on the defensive and jumped up and aggressively charged at me, screaming how I don’t even have a license and yadiyada on how I can’t say shit. My ma was fast to try and stop her and continued to usher her to get packed up. I rushed back into my bathroom as soon as I could. I of course was letting Kitty in on everything as it happened, as I was still on the phone with her at that point. It shocked me that Bear hadn’t gotten involved or that my niece didn’t have a reaction from all the yelling and screaming. 
Bear at some point did finally texted, about an hour after things got heated:
Bear (05/26 11:50 PM) How are you holding up?
Royal (05/26 11:50 PM) Trying to make sure ma or Bunny don’t drunk drive
Ma said to Bunny that they’re going to a hotel
So I’m listening in
(11:56 PM) There’s a huge part of me that really wants to call 911
But I don’t know
I don’t trust them anymore
I never know when people are going to get violent or hurt themself anymore
Bear (05/27 12:02 AM) I completely understand
Kitty was able to hear a lot of the yelling and screaming over the phone, though I doubt she could make out what they were saying. I know there were lots of “I HATE YOU,” “YOU’RE THE ASSHOLE,” and like exclamations. There were several times where I was concerned by ways they were saying and reacting to stuff, like there might have been a weapon or harm of oneself involved. I remembering breaking down on a different part of my bathroom floor, crying to Kitty how I wished they would all stop hurting. How I wish my dad knew he was appreciated and no one hate him. How I wished Bunny didn’t hate herself so much she always felt under attack and the need to be on the defensive. How I wished my ma wasn’t so miserable that she felt the need to drink so much. My dad actually tried saying to my ma that if she didn’t stop drinking, he wanted a divorce. Whilst, is something I can get behind, not best to try getting a drunk person to agree with. The entire time, I kept fighting the urge to tell Kitty to come get me right that second. It wasn’t going to be easy to get out without walking past all of them. My bedroom and bathroom is the farthest point from the stair’s opening and where most of this was happening (my parent’s room, Bunny’s room hallway area, the top of the stairs) was my only route to get downstairs and outside. It sounded like my ma was determined to leave with Bunny anyway, so it felt like overreacting if I were to leave too. Kitty tried to tell me that I shouldn’t feel unsafe in my own house, to which I tried arguing back how that wasn’t what was going on. I was scared for everyone else’s safety. After someone has almost been shot, after someone broke a glass bottle with the intent of turning it into a weapon, after someone has charged my door in an argument I was no involved in, after someone has tried killing and hurting themselves on multiple occasions, after someone has threatened to hurt themself to get their way, after someone has offered the gesture of hurting themself to make a point…I just can’t trust them anymore. When things had been quiet for a good while, I finally snuck myself into my room and let Kitty go. She reassured me that she would message me on Discord right away since we were having a hard time hearing/understanding each other with bad signals on both sides.
After some time passed, she hadn’t messaged nor shown any signs of being online and I could hear my parents talking again. I pressed myself against the wall to listen and messaged her:
Royal (05/27 12:55 AM) Sounds like they’re trying again, but less aggressively
My ma is still obviously drunk
I never want to be with someone I would argue with like this
Well shit...the irony is...now that I’m in my room, I have to go pee 😶
Royal (1:10 AM) My dad’s asking my mom not to leave, I think it’s mainly cuz he knows she’s drunk
I think she’s going to go
I think she’s going to get behind a wheel when drunk
I don’t know what to do
Why didn’t my dad plea more
Sounds like Bear is now involved
I think he just went downstairs to stop her too
I’m scared
That my ma might try to harm herself should she leave
But I’m just a coward hiding in my room
I don’t know what to do
I’m going out there
By this point in time, I had texted Bear “Ma is going to drive while drunk with Bunny“ around 1:16AM and I think that’s when she got involved. I went pass Bunny and down the stairs and into a point out of view.
Kitty (1:31 AM) I don't think you're a coward, they shouldn't be making you feel this scared to be around them
Royal (1:31 AM) I AM NOT SCARED FOR MYSELF
I AM LEGIT SCARED THAT MY MOM MIGHT BE DEAD IN THE NEXT 24HRS
Kitty (1:32 AM) Understood...
Royal (1:32 AM) I’m out here to make sure she does not step foot out that door
I honestly have no clue what the hell is going on down here...
My dad is doing something with a lift thingy
Taking something outside or bringing something in
I have no clue
My mom is sitting on the couch like a pouty child
Wine bottles???
I’m at a complete lost right now
I’ll tell you one thing: I will knock my mom unconscious if that’s what it takes to keep her from drunk driving
I know she can’t out run me with her bad knee
Kitty (1:38 AM)That's probably for the best...
What about wine bottles?
Royal (1:39 AM) I don’t even know my dude...I think my dad is bringing in wine bottles from outside but I honestly don’t have a fucking clue
Kitty (1:39 AM) O.o
Royal (1:39 AM) Holy wine cellar
Wait
I think he’s taking it OUT
He got rid of the wine cellar
Or is he bringing it in? But how did it get put in the first place? It’s iron and heavy...
Wine cage, whatever you want to call it
Bunny was just sitting upstairs by the railing with her head down, but I think she came down
My niece is crying hysterically
He’s bringing it in
Kitty (1:43 AM) :/
This is just a really weird scene
Royal (1:43 AM) But it looks like it was mostly emptied
Yeah, I have no idea how to accurately describe it
No, it still has a lot of wine in it, just the top part was emptied
My niece is very unhappy
I want to go in there and hold her
Kitty (1:44 AM) With all the yelling? I bet...
Royal (1:45 AM) But there hasn’t been any yelling for nearly an hour
She only now started
It looks like he’s bringing in crates too or something
Wine crates
My niece is quiet again
Bunny is starting to cry again, silently
My niece started again too
Kitty (1:47 AM) My first thought is he's going to dump them all
Royal (1:48 AM) It’s a scenario where it seems like he’s doing something to make a point to please her
Not to made a point to spite her
Kitty (1:49 AM) Hmm..
I only figured because of the "quit drinking or divorce" line earlier
Royal (1:50 AM) He’s already apologized for saying certain stuff while angry
Mainly about “getting out”
So at least I know neither of the blondes can try to sneak out right now, the 3 ways out (not including Bear’s room) are either in my sight or right by my dad
He’s putting the wine back into the cellar, I think the top portion was missing to make it lighter and not top heavy
Looks like my mom dozed off on the couch, my dad tried waking her to asking her to go to bed
My dad went to bed
I’m going to wait it out a little
It almost seems like they might still be planning on leaving, I can’t tell
Alright, maybe not
I think my mom is getting situated on the couch to sleep
Ok, I think it’s over for real
At least for tonight
I’m in my bed again
Kitty (2:01 AM) kk
You going to be able to sleep after all that?
Royal (2:02 AM) Who knows
Luna is here though, purring loudly as she’s snuggled up to me
My little guardian angel
Sweet li’l familiar
Kitty (2:03 AM) She's a good kitty
I had fallen asleep eventually, not sure what time, and woke up several times in the morning at decent hours. But I didn’t want to get up or do anything. Part of me just wanted to sleep today away, my ma’s birthday or not (also Memorial Day).
Hummingbird also messaged me to check on me this morning:
Hummingbird (05/27 9:17 AM) How are you doing? Royal (10:58 AM) I dumbly had the notion earlier this morning to try sleeping the day away Did Kitty catch you up on everything? Hummingbird (11:00 AM) yes she did. I now I want to steal you away even more ❤ Royal (11:01 AM) It’s been quiet all morning Hummingbird (11:01 AM) I bet, especially after the events last  night Royal (11:01 AM) Sorry I never responded to your messages last night, I was on the phone with Kitty Hummingbird (11:04 AM) np.  I was just worried. I was worried and  asked Kitty to reach out to you, hoping that she could hear better. Royal (11:05 AM) I feel like I need a “days since last incident” sign We had been doing relatively well I was at a point where I wasn’t scared for myself but everyone else And if I wasn’t there and something happened... I was physically safe But I wasn’t sure if someone would hurt themself (or stupidly do something that would hurt someone else) And my ma came very close to drunk driving Hummingbird (11:07 AM) yikes Royal (11:10 AM) Bear didn’t make any effort if anything until an hour in and it was her texting me to see how I was holding up, but then took forever to text back and when she did it was just a “I understand” in response to telling her I was contemplating calling 911, and then I think she got involved again after the 2hr mark after I told her that I thought ma was actually going to drive, but that seemed short lived anyway After everything went quiet, my niece had a reaction Hummingbird (11:22 AM) wow, that sounds intense Royal (11:22 AM) Kitty was able to actually hear the screaming and yelling at some points Hummingbird (11:27 AM) yeah, she mentioned that Royal (11:28 AM) Probably shatters the imagery of how quiet my dad is 😅 Hummingbird (11:28 AM) just a smidge
I don’t even know if Kitty and Hummingbird would want to come over today (as they were invited previously since it’s my ma’s birthday), but I don’t want to be left home alone with them but I don’t want to ditch either. I don’t know what to expect from the rest of the day. Everything is going on with my fam like none of this ever happened, as per usual.
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totallyrhettro · 6 years
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Another Me, Chapter 8
Word Count: 2116 Rating: PG-13 Warnings: None Summary: This time, Rhett was really going to do it. He had tried maybe a thousand times over the past thirty-odd years to tell Link how he really felt, but this time he was finally going to actually succeed. At least, that was the plan, but when another version of the six-foot seven bearded internetainer appears out of nowhere during their weekend getaway, Rhett’s carefully laid plans are quickly pushed aside. Notes: AU, Present day, Rhett and Link aren’t married
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There where more than a few words Rhett wanted to have with his alternate universe counterpart, and few of them very kind, but he didn’t get the chance even after they returned from their sightseeing day trip. Any moment he would have had alone with the guy, Link was there. Not that he could ever complain about Link being around but it made it very hard to talk about him, and the Rhetts’ relationship, with him while he was around.
After Old Sarum they visited a few other places Rhett had planned with his original itinerary. He skipped those he picked out for their romantic setting, since they were picked for him and Link to visit after he confessed his love to the blue-eyed man. In the evening they went out to dinner with barely a break; Rhett couldn’t get either of his companions alone long enough to have a serious conversation and it was driving him crazy. He tried not to show it, of course, making a concerted amount of effort to be talkative and amiable during dinner but Link could tell he was putting on.
They said their goodnights as they parted ways from the elevator, on the second floor, and Rhett’s copy strode off down the hall to his room. Rhett watched him go; so did Link, much to Rhett’s annoyance. If he didn’t think it would start a fight he would have grabbed Link and dragged him back into the elevator, but he was never one to be rough for any reason other than comedy. He did take the elevator ride as a chance to fum quietly to himself, mulling over what he wanted to say once he and Link reached their shared hotel room.
“What is up with you, today?” Link demanded as soon as the hotel door was shut behind him. Rhett hadn’t been expecting Link’s reaction and was taken aback. Of all the scenarios he’d ran through his head, Link starting the conversation angry wasn’t one of them. “I thought we agreed to make the most of this situation and you’re acting like you’re going to a damn funeral tomorrow.”
“I’m not sure behaving as if everything is normal helps things either,” Rhett pushed back, his frustrations reaching their breaking point. He didn’t mean to take things out on Link but Link had just pushed the wrong button at the wrong time and now Rhett couldn’t stop himself. “We just had dinner with a man from another universe. Who, might I add, may not be able to get back to his own version of Earth and we’ll be stuck with him.”
“He’s you!” Link insisted, raising his hands in exasperation. “I mean, granted it will definitely complicate things to have another version of you around-”
‘In more ways than one,’ Rhett mused to himself.
“But I don’t see how that would be a bad thing. Rhett,” Link continued, trying to keep his voice level. “I just think you’re looking at this all wrong.” Gently he placed a hand on Rhett’s arm. Normally his tender gesture would bring great comfort to his lifelong friend, but not this time. This time it just irked him. “If anything that Rhett should be in a sour mood, not you. You’re not the one trapped in a different world.”
“All that Rhett has to look forward to is going to a one-man apartment, where he lives all alone in misery, with a broken heart and a broken life.” It sounded harsh but he knew it was true. He knew because if he ever lost Link that’s where he’d be. That’s who he’d be without Link. “Why would he ever want to return to that universe when he can stay here?!” ‘And take over mine,’ his mind added. ‘If that Rhett stays here… he’ll take you.’ Suddenly Rhett realized why he was so upset, even more than just Link and the new Rhett getting along so well. He was afraid he was going to lose Link. This new Rhett was going to either steal him away or scare him off and neither scenario gave the original Rhett a good feeling in his stomach.
“I need to go for a walk,” he muttered, crossing the room and reaching for the door handle. He had said enough, far too much in his opinion. He had started the fight he’d hoped to avoid and now the look on Link’s face was breaking his heart.
Link wanted to stop him, he really did, but something in Rhett’s tone had shook him to the core. Rhett hadn’t said it but Link heard it loud and clear. The sorrow, the fear in losing his world to someone else. He couldn’t understand why Rhett was so emotional about this and without understanding his problems Link didn’t know how to help him. So, he let him go. Even though it broke his heart, he let him open that hotel room and wander off into the night.
~ ~ ~
Rhett’s shoulders slumped as he walked towards the elevators. He never meant to start a fight. In fact, it was the last thing he had wanted to do. Part of him, a big part, wanted to go back and talk things out, to explain why he was so upset, but he was scared of that part. It was the same part of him that wanted to take Link in his arms and kiss him until he couldn’t breathe, and that was the last thing he could do.
Southampton was a small town, definitely worthy of the word ‘quaint’. In this late hour anyone who didn’t have to work and wasn’t a tourist had already gone home. Visitors to the town, like Rhett, were still about, though their numbers were few and far between. Those that wandered the quiet town were heading back to their hotels or whatnot, having gotten their fill of sightseeing or late dinners. None paid Rhett any mind as he traversed the winding streets, brooding more than someone vacationing in such a beautiful countryside ought to.
His feet carried him several blocks away from the hotel down towards the wharf, twin docks where several boats were moored and empty cars waited for those on ferries to return. The sun was well below the horizon but the light it cast on the Earth still filtered through a few low-lying clouds. It reminded Rhett of home, of the hours he and Link had spent on the hill overlooking the creek for which their home town of Buies Creek was named. It had been a much more simple time, when they were young and innocent, oblivious of the world beyond their small town. At least, it had seemed so much simpler.
A short, humorless chuckle escaped Rhett’s lips at the thought. Simpler, maybe, but not better. Once he figured out his feelings for Link he had to start hide them, from Link, from everyone. Sure the rules were simple, but he hated them all the same. At least these days he had Link by his side and they could be happy. Relatively. At least he had Link. Throughout all their shared lives together that had been Rhett’s spark of hope and the only reason he hadn’t broken down years ago.
Turning around he walked back north, heading towards the Platform Tavern. Rhett had never been a big drinker, but it was the only place that looked open, and could use a drink if only a small one. He needed something to settle his nerves, maybe give him the confidence to face Link before the hour grew too late.
Inside the red, brick building it looked very much like a bar from America, albeit with more British flags. Lights hung on wires crisscrossing the room and a stage was set up at the far end for small bands to play. There was no one performing at the moment and most of the folks inside were seated directly at the bar and not in any of the tables scattered around the joint. Although it obviously boasted being a restaurant as well as a pub, it wasn’t currently being used for food. Everyone had a pint or glass in their hand containing some alcoholic drink or another. None looked to be in the greatest of moods but, then again, it was late night at a bar; one could hardly expect a cheerful atmosphere.
“Heineken,” he ordered, glancing over the selections as he sat down at the far end of the bar. The bartender gave a curt nod before turning and grabbing said beer. Rhett glanced down the row of patrons, nursing their beers and liquors, seeing similar expressions across all their downtrodden faces. He probably had a very similar expression across his bearded face; he never pictured himself ending up sulking in a bar, heartbroken and moping into a beer, yet here he was. This was the lowest he had felt in a very long time. He wasn’t sure how things could get much worse.
~ ~ ~
Link threw himself onto his bed, butt first, and leaned back to stare at the ceiling. Now that he was alone he finally had space to think, without either of the Rhetts distracting him. After a moment he wasn’t sure he wanted to be alone with his thoughts; they just reminded him how complicated his life had gotten, as of late. They reminded him of the strange impulses he’d experienced not once but twice today. Impulses that he didn’t want to have.
Before this weekend, he had everything worked out. He had Good Mythical Morning, he had his friends, and most of all he had his best friend, Rhett. Everything was clear cut and neatly defined. His whole life was wonderfully organized and everything and everyone had their place. He never questioned whether anyone was in the wrong place, or the wrong role. Every piece of the puzzle was right where it should be and everything made sense.
Now nothing did.
He’d never wanted to kiss Rhett before, not like . Sure a warm hug was never out of the question, for support or in jest. He loved Rhett, he did, very deeply, but always in a family way, a friendly way, a ‘we made a blood oath and we’re closer than blood’ sort of way but not… in that way.
Right?
Thinking back to days gone by, Link tried to recall any time Rhett had shown signs that he wanted more, more than just friends, more than just colleagues. Surely there weren’t any. Surely he was nothing other than Link’s best friend who was only interested in girls. Rhett had gone on many dates with girls in the past, had several girlfriends even as an adult. Not that Link met any of the more recent ones.
That gave Link pause. He hadn’t met recent Rhett’s girlfriends, even the ones he didn’t date for very long. Surely Rhett, as his best friend and confidant, would have told him about them, even in passing. Link thought about again but the memories were clear. Absolutely no mention of who he was dating, no meeting them or talking to them; It was like Rhett had been embarrassed by who he had been going out with, and that just wasn’t like him.
Or maybe Link didn’t know his best friend as well as he thought.
His brain was starting to hurt from all these conflicting thoughts and he rolled over onto his side to glance at his phone. It was late. Real late, but he wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep. He felt too wired. Besides, he wanted to wait until Rhett got back so they could work things out. The minutes ticked forward. Where was Rhett?
A knock on the door made his heart leap and he nearly did the same as he got up from the bed to answer. Had Rhett forgotten his key? Possibly. Link figured that was the case and didn’t even check to see who it was before opening the door.
It was Rhett. Not his Rhett. Link recognized him by his shorter beard and different hair. He was a bit taken back that this Rhett had come to call.
“Something wrong?” Link asked, assuming the worst.
“No, nothing’s wrong,” the Rhett assured him, but he looked nervous as his eyes were drawn past Link into the room. “Am uh, I here?”
“He went for a walk.” Simple explanation. Link didn’t want to get into any details about the fight earlier. “Did you need to talk to him?” Rhett’s alternate shrugged but answered without confusion.
“I was hoping to speak with you, actually,” he explained. “Can I come in?”
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Infinite Banality
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By Graham Wheeler-Nelson
I am seated in a classroom, surrounded by heads and bodies. My scoliosis prone spine [^1] contorts to fit increasingly miniature chairs. I am at Emerson College. I’m seated amongst some of the most skilled artisans and communicators of our generation [^2], I’m religiously taking notes (both physical pencil on college-ruled notebook paper as well as digitally via fingers on a membrane keyboard) from professors who are masters of their field, and I’m sitting seven stories above one of the busiest intersections in New England. From my 115 square foot [^3] LED lit dorm room, I am able to look across the historic Boston Common and see the multitude of backpacked students wearing Patagonia coats briskly shuffle across the paved passageways between grassy pastures and local foliage, I see the upper-class professionals in freshly pressed business attire, and I witness the haphazardly directionalized wander in and out of the recesses of the park [^4] .
When I would walk out of my house in Lake City, Minnesota - a town which is made up of 5,025 people, a total of two street lights, misanthropy, one locally owned grocery store, and a post office [^5] - there would be nobody there despite neighboring a house on the left, a house on the right, a duplex across the street, and existing in a residential zone. And but so [^6] , there was a certain kind of palpable and identifiable isolation in knowing you’re alone in this specific slice of space and time; it’s a cold and visceral reflection of the physicality of loneliness when there are no people, yet this manifestation of loneliness somehow fuels and simultaneously extinguishes itself, - it gives you a real thing that you can point to and blame your destitution on.
When I landed in Boston, the humid, 90 degree east coast air was buzzing, and the energy was transformative - the hum of the public was the roaring industrial engine driving social discourse, the massive skyscraping monuments to humanity’s triumph were poetically juxtaposed against the 50 acre expanse of preserved manufactured greenery situated, as my father would say, “Right smack dab in the middle of everything!” [sic] I was studying with, sitting next to, and experiencing life right alongside people [^7] that are handpicked to be right here in that moment [^8] - nobody was there by accident, everyone wanted to be there from the bottom of their heart, and it was magic. Students were all on the same page during the first week of orientation, we were scared, we were insecure, we were entering a foreign environment without our kin, and we were clueless; none of us knew a single soul, so we tried to meet them all. It was socially acceptable and even encouraged for you to walk up to someone - a complete stranger - and start a conversation: I was meeting people every second of every minute of every day.[^9]
You can’t do that anymore. There’s sophomores, juniors, seniors, and graduate students to contend with; you don’t know who’s who: who is an empathetic freshman, a sympathetic sophomore, a banal junior, or a scoffing senior. Once they moved in, I felt distinctly freshman.[^10] The fascination and amazement that once surrounded the intellectual and artistic powerhouse now morphed into insecurity; the hum of public discourse was distracting from an unwritten essay, the huddled masses of Bostonians were a mob chomping at the bit to engulf me, I was no longer experiencing life alongside anyone else, I was actively avoiding it - I am inadequate. I’m constantly surrounded by people who are more invested than me, more attractive, more emotionally stable, more curious than I am. [^11] Even though, because I hate being alone, I aggressively fill my schedule, I still feel I’m not doing enough: I need more on my resume, I need to write that essay, I need to not be alone. And but so, I somehow simultaneously envy and despise the recluse roommate - that academic anchorite - who is content with nothing more than watching mind-numbing repetitive television programs while ingesting prescription drugs for which he is not the prescriptee.[^12] The one who is able to wallow and relax in their own filth. I want to be able to take comfort in my wretched refuse.
And but isn’t this feeling of isolation paradoxically universally bonding in some strange way? We are all, deep down, united in our belief that we are alone. It’s a self-defeating clause that is impossible to understand - how can one be alone and seeking connection to someone in a sea of people who are also alone and seeking connection to someone. It’s a common story, one that nearly every college freshman or ambitious young adult experiences when abandoning their cliched metaphorical nest - that of perceived isolation in the face of novel settings and experiences and people. I yearn for the day when I was fascinated by street signs - engrossed by plain white letters on a green metallic plate. But so now I’ve transitioned into a time when the banality of giving passerbys directions goes from excitedly abnormal to be horribly and utterly distracting. When I walk out of my dorm in Boston, Massachusetts - a city which is made up of roughly 685,094 people, 67,000 street lights, misanthropy, and dozens upon dozens of locally owned and franchise grocers [^13] - when I walk out of my dorm, there are people there. And I see people I love and respect and strive to impress. There’s a certain kind of abstruse and esoteric isolation when you’re surrounded by people you love and respect and strive to impress and still feel lonely. It gives you nothing to blame for your banal cloistered existence. [^14]
Acknowledgments
This essays owes its approach to David Foster Wallace. I first read Infinite Jest about a year ago and fell in love with Wallace’s use of the English Language - and while it may be cliché or problematic for an 18 year old white man to like Infinite Jest , I truly felt a connection between the page and me that no other book has achieved. I’ve read a lot of Wallace’s work, and all of what I’ve read has influenced this essay, including Infinite Jest, his collection of essays entitled A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again , his collection of short stories Brief Interviews With Hideous Men , and his 2005 commencement speech for Kenyon College that was later published under the title This is Water .
[1] I don’t actually have scoliosis.
[2] Obviously, these artists are not the greatest yet - right now we are all in the midst of creating the utter garbage that will define the term “learning experience.”
[3] My dorm room specifically is not exactly 115 square feet - because of an egressed corner of the room, it’s difficult to get exact measurements.
[4] Some of these wanderers are also students or busy businessmen taking a break from their strictly and precisely organized day, but some, if not most, are coming from places such as: a methadone clinic, their dealer’s house, or maybe a sleazy public bathroom after they shot up or snorted their substance of choice.
[5] Among other things.
[6] [sic]
[7] People that Emerson College’s president, Lee Pelton, would describe as “change makers,” and “truth tellers.”
[8]The moment of banal ecstasy: during your first week in a new location on the map, a group of people you met not one or maybe two days ago go to a comedy show down the street, and on the walk back you look up at the millions of illuminated apartments and office spaces - places where professionals perfect. You are instantly and subtly aware of a connection being formed between you and this group made up of people so breathtakingly individual and legitimate and sincere and nice that you will do anything in your power to sustain this moment. Nothing more, just sustain.
[9] Or at least it felt like it; I was making constant connection to other souls.
[10] Even while doing something as seemingly banal as walking into my residence hall, I felt remarkably immature. Like when you were a little child clutching your parents hand while walking through a department store and they let go and they leave. It’s the first time in your microcosm of a life when you’ve actually had real autonomy - and it’s paralyzing. For the first few minutes it’s exhilarating, but then the fact sets in that you are nothing but a lost little child.
[11] This is not wholly true.
[12] There is a surprising amount of drug abuse that goes on within the walls of academia.
[13] Among other things.
[14] I am in here.
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mfmagazine · 5 years
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Melora Hardin (The Office, A Million Little Things)
Article by Lauren Weigle
Photo by Kirstin Knufmann
Melora Hardin.  Ballerina.  Director.  Comedian.  Actress.   Character.  Singer.  Song-writer.  Jazz Artist.  Anything else we’d like to add to the list?  Oh yes, we forgot to add what a demure, poised, and courageous woman she is… pleasantly unexpected.  Considering her range of comedic roles on the big and small screen, one would think she would just be a giant goofball, but she has so many other qualities about her.  Melora Hardin is definitely a deep soul, built up of many layers.
You’ve acted in such an array of comedies in addition to dramatic roles.  What do you feel draws you to these comedic parts?
Well, ya know, everyone loves to laugh and so do I.  I just kind of enjoy getting inside those characters, finding the humor, and finding their truth because I think it has to always come from truth.
Right.  That’s good to keep in mind.  Well, what should one keep in mind as a good rule of thumb whenever they take on a new role with a new cast, new set, etc?
I just really believe everyone is valuable.  Everyone has a reason for being there and I think if you show respect, the way you like to be treated, and just show that you value everyone.  That’s probably the first and foremost thing when joining a new movie.
So, tell me about when you joined Monk and your experience with the show?
Well, I played Trudy, his dead wife for many years and they were all just great.  Randy, one of the producers/writers/directors on that show and I had done a pilot with him many years before, so that was really fun to be working with him again.  And, Tony Shalhoub is one of the nicest guys.  He’s just so warm and wonderfully talented; a great actor and a great person.  It was really just a comfortable set to be on and had really really nice, talented people.
How did you eventually become Jan Levinson of the critically-acclaimed show The Office?
Um, I auditioned for the part? (She jests)  I was a recurring character for the first season and then they made me a regular during the middle of the second season.
What’s the atmosphere on set like, being around such a hilarious group of people?
People are very funny obviously and there’s a lot of improvisation.  I mean, I particularly love Greg Daniels who’s the creator of the American version of the office.  He just loves hiring people who are really talented and sort of pointing them in a direction.  He has a definite vision for the show, but he’s not one to sort of stick his finger in everyone’s stew.  He’s very good at focusing the set, the actors, the crew, but also ultimately unleashing everybody.  And, I think that is one of the keys to great comedy, feeling safe to be completely ridiculous, to feel sort of free and fall on your face, be more courageous.  I think it’s very unusual for a lot of television comedies, but now I feel it’s almost set the tone for other television comedies.
How does it feel being part of such a highly-esteemed series?
Oh, it’s great!  It’s fantastic.  I mean, I’ve been working in this business since I was 6 years old, done many many pilots, failed series’, and series’ that have lasted a long time, but when you get on something that everyone loves, is critically-acclaimed, opportunities come your way because of it, it’s a wonderful thing.  Absolutely wonderful.  I’m very thrilled to be a part of it from the beginning until just recently, but now I’m back again! (She devilishly laughs.)  So, it’s great.
So what’s it like to be back?
Fun!  It’s really fun.  Still the same, but different in the sense that Greg Daniels isn’t around as much.  Paul is really running the show right now, but Paul and Greg are related, so he has a similar relaxed nature.  I mean, I love Jan.  She’s such a great character.  She’s fun to play and I know her so well it’s kind of fun to “put her skin on” again.  The crazy dynamic between Michael and Jan is so much fun to play.  So, yea, it’s great to be her again.
Well, I know you also recently joined the new TV drama Outlaw.  How did this come about?
Yea.  Apparently, they wanted the pilot to be different, so they re-cast it and they cast me in that role.  So, I’ve done a few episodes plus the pilot.  The creator just sort of said I was on his line from the beginning.  Even when they did the original pilot, I was the one that he wanted, so he was really thrilled to get me and I was thrilled to be wanted so much.  It’s a great show, wonderful writing, very different, a really interesting dynamic between my role and Jimmy Smith’s character, so lots of fun there to play.
Right, so what is your character like then?
I’m the Senior VP of a law firm in Washington D.C., and an on-going lover of Garza, who’s played by Jimmy Smith.  He decides to quit being a Supreme Court judge and sort of fight for the little guy.  Then he comes to my firm and tries to cut a deal to fund his little endeavor, but you get the feel that they have a lot of history together.  He kind of has a difficult time committing to women, but loves women at the same time.  If there was someone he was going to marry, it would probably be her, so there’s a wonderful mutual respect and enjoyment of each other, not to mention sexual attraction, so it’ll be interesting to see how that plays out.  At the same time, they’re really peers and they go “toe to toe”.
Aside from all your television goings-on, anything in the works in terms of film?
Yea, actually there’s a family comedy called Knucklehead, starring myself, Mark Feuerstein, and one of the big WWE wrestlers called “The Big Show”.  It’s really cute, a good little family comedy, and that comes out October 24th on limited release and straight to DVD.  I also just did a little indie feature called Ben Banks and I have another one that I’m currently doing called I’ll Melt With You with Rob Lowe and Jeremy Piven.  I’m not really sure when it’s coming out yet, but it’s a very dark, indie feature.  I guess those are my creative projects.  I’m working on a web-series right now that I’ve created for myself, which I hope will be up and running some time before the year is over.  And, I also have a record that just came out called All the Way to Mars.
Yea, so tell me about your music.  I saw one of your music videos, Fading Away, and you have so much ballet involved in it.  How long have you been dancing?
Well, I’ve been dancing since I was 5.  I was really a serious ballerina for many years.  Now I’m a jazz dancer or a modern jazz dancer.  What you saw there with Fading Away was more of a modern jazz style.  I still take classes and try to go twice a week for my soul and for my body.  (She laughs.)  It’s still one of my loves, one of my passions.  So, I keep it up for myself and my music is sort of something that’s always been in my life.  A lot of people don’t know that about me, but I’ve been writing songs since I was very young.  I have lots of songs I’ve written and I have three records, two independently and this one is the first one to be released under a label.  It’s very exciting and it was really exciting to be on Broadway last year where I got to sing, dance, AND act… doing all three of my bests at once!
Haven’t you done some directing with the stage also?
Yea, I did direct a one-woman show and I also directed a film, which is a film I made with my family called You, where my husband wrote it, I directed it, and we both starred in it.  Our kids are even in it.
Would you like to do more with directing in the future?
I really loved it and I’m definitely planning on directing more.
Back to your music.  What would be the next step for you in that arena?
Well, I’m singing live a lot.  I have some gigs in Florida next year, a few gigs here in Los Angeles, and I’m looking to sing with possibly some symphonies that are around.  I just want to get out there and sing live a lot more.  And, I’ll probably be looking to make a new record in 2011.
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kalena-henden · 7 years
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Deadline AwardsLine Timeless Screening + Panel | April 26, 2017
Here’s a little write-up of the screening and panel. This is from memory so forgive me for any errors.
They screened the fourth episode “Party at Castle Varlar” with James Bond writer/real life spy, Ian Fleming, Nazis and, the scientist who would eventually help us get to the moon, Wernher Von Braun. I really enjoyed seeing it on the big screen. This was the episode that where I went from like to love with this show. Adventure, mystery, danger, bonding and fun mixed perfectly. I’ve seen this episode several times but it was surprising how much more detail I was able to pick up on not just visually but with the music queues as well. The audience laughed alot!
For the Q&A they started off with a few questions for the producers. Many of their answers were things they’ve said before like they are never going to do a Titanic episode and they did the Hindenburg first because they were never going to get to spend that much on one episode again. Malcolm did joke that, if they did the Titanic episode, it would only focus on one member of the band (the bass player, I think).
A few interesting things: Shawn Ryan was the one who insisted Amy Preston disappear at the end of the pilot. Through the writing processes they discovered that having the emotional impact on the characters would be more compelling than say world changing events like Fidel Castro disappearing. Also, *SPOILER ALERT* they said they are planning to do alot more of this in Season 2 (if we get one) where things in the present will be drastically altered after missions. Another storyline that Shawn would like to do is the Orphan Railroad which happened from about 1870s to 1920s where street orphans in the east coast cities were shipped across the country to new homes. His own ancestors were apart of it as orphans. Some of the orphans went on to find a better life and others not so much, including getting separated from siblings.
Kripke was asked how they keep all the information and timelines straight. He joked about having writer’s rooms conversations that made him want to kill himself. Everyone laughed. Then Shawn and the host teased him about it. He joked he constantly has Blue Oyster Cult playing in his office. I can’t remember the answer if there was one, just alot of teasing and laughter.
Onto the cast! They were all asked how it was to play their character’s arc over the season. Matt started, he talked about Wyatt’s emotional journey of learning to let go of his past which he was really getting to him towards the end of the season. The three of them (Lucy, Rufus and Wyatt) really need each other not just for their different skills but as people. That Lucy in particular has helped Wyatt move past some of the hurt and hopefully he will have moved passed it so he can move onto other things in the next season. Then Abigail said, “And he LOVES Lucy!” lol Matt emphatically responded “Well, I wasn’t gonna say it!” with a grin because it’s totally true. The host mentioned something about Lucy going bad at the end of the season which didn’t quite make sense but Abigail laughed at it and Matt slyly jested “Wyatt likes bad girls”. I don’t think it implied anything other than what we’ve seen onscreen. They just appeared to be going along with the host in the spirit of the moment. But good or bad, Wyatt loves Lucy.
Abigail talked about how Lucy went from being very reluctant about participating in this adventure at all to the end of the season where she’s determined to Save the World. Malcolm talked about going from being an agoraphobic techie who didn’t really want to participate in the outside world or forge new relationships to someone who asks out the girl, gets out and does stuff, and has become good friends with his teammates.
Next they asked what things were easier or harder to film. Abigail talked about the fight scenes where like 8 main characters need close-ups and they have to shoot for hours and hours to get it all. The easiest scenes are just the trio getting to play off each other and goof off a bit which they all agreed on. Malcolm talked about the rain in the 1980s episode. He also talked about trying to get through the really serious scene in 1x16 when he’s holding Jiya and telling her how much she means to him. Claudia would tease him between each take to try to get him to crack. Malcolm attempted to imitate her “Is that a tear? Are you crying?” with a terrible British accent which Matt and Abigail protested didn’t sound like her because Claudia is originally from Australia. But Malcolm said that’s the only accent he add in his pocket, it was the closest thing he had. lol This was payback because he did it to Claudia ALL season long. Then Matt teased Abigail for mentioning the fights cause she just sits on the side of the scene in the fight while he’s the one doing all the fighting. The host joked that she stole Matt’s answer and she joked that she was just setting it up for Matt and trying to find the antique lamp to hold during the fights. BTW the cast was really friendly during the panel with many shared asides to each other that they didn’t say into the mics. You can tell they have excellent off-screen camaraderie.
Then they asked what was their favorite episode. Obviously, hard to choose. They all love the fourth episode which was screened and the director of that episode was in the house (they did a little shout-out to him). Abigail talked again about how much she loves the costumes which led to her picking Bonnie and Clyde as her favorite episode. One, she loves the clothes of the era but also because she loves that they humanized Bonnie and Clyde, getting to learn about them as people, and she and Matt had a ton of fun goofing around. Malcolm said they are constantly doing “Schtick” (theirs is physical comedy) in every episode and kept teasing them about it during the panel. In the Bonnie and Clyde episode in particular, Abigail said during the couch scene which is the first time that Lucy and Wyatt are physical for an extended period of time that she and Matt kept trying to top themselves doing sillier and more outrageous schtick every take. Hopefully that’s on the gag reel!
Matt’s favorite episode was the Alamo because the setting and feel was so different than any of the other episodes. He mentioned how crazy it was seeing the Alamo in a Vancouver parking lot (where they filmed). Kripke joked the Vancouver parking lot is where the real Alamo was located. Malcolm’s favorite episode was the Western (aka the Lone Ranger episode) because he LOVES Westerns and used to dress up like a cowboy as a kid with a cowboy hat and galoshes (which he imagined were his cowboy boots). He loved riding the horse and he wouldn’t take the costume off. Matt jumped in to say that 3 days into filming Malcolm was trying to talk him into going “halfsies” to buy a horse farm. Then Abigail jumped in to say she’s got 27 pictures of Malcolm in that costume.
Questions from the audience were next. I’m only going to write about the ones I thought were interesting. A woman asked if maybe many of the women we thought were gone or dead might actually be alive and in Rittenhouse’s clutches: Amy Preston (Lucy’s sister), Lorena and Iris Flynn (Garcia’s wife and kid) and Jessica Logan (Wyatt’s wife), and asked if Jessica was part of Rittenhouse. First, there was major confusion with the cast and writers on who were Lorena and Iris. Kripke literally said, “Who’s Lorena?” lol And Shawn Ryan was just as confounded. The woman had to explain to them she was Flynn’s wife, that’s when they realized they had put their names on the tombstones. Kripke said that even in the script for 1x16 the character was named FLYNN’S WIFE. Until this question had been asked, they considered all those women dead but now he joked who knows if they’ll stay dead.
A kid had been raising his hand for awhile. It turned out to be Abigail’s son, Roman, who hilariously asked the producers a question (instead of his mom) about how they choose which stories to tell. Shawn Ryan answered that they always try to decide what the characters are dealing with first and then build the story and time periods around their issues.
The last question was someone asked Malcolm how they got representation so right every episode. He joked how he “nailed it” everytime before segueing into a more serious and detailed answer about inclusion. The producers added the more they brought in these sidelined historical figures the more they felt they found the heart of the show. They plan on continuing to find and tell these untold stories.
Whew. It took me longer to write this up (and edit it multiple times) than the entire screening and panel took to experience. lol Hope you enjoyed it!
tagging @onlymorelove @wedlakeserenities i don’t know if this works when it’s under the cut, so let me know.
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happy-meo · 7 years
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SILVER SPOON: Part 3 [Yoongi x Reader; Rom-com, fluff]
A girl who had to work hard every day of her life to rise from nothing, meets a man who was born with and given everything.
A classic tale of what happens when a cold, uptight farm girl meets a playful, rebellious, easy-going city boy that was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
Summary: Having been born and raised in the country side, you have worked hard your entire life to make it to the big city. You eventually achieved your dream and now you have a wonderful paying job for a large company and you continue putting your 110% into everything you do. However, your perfect plan to climb to success through consistent effort and hard work becomes disarrayed with the arrival of your branch’s new rebellious and easy-going CEO, who never desired the position in the first place and has never truly worked hard a day in his life. Your job is on the line if he can’t be turned into a quality CEO within a year, but he has no intention of changing himself for anyone or letting you boss him around so easily. How will you work your way through this obstacle? Will you succeed in changing him or will he be the one that changes you?
Yoongi x Reader (ft. Jimin & VIXX’s Leo as side characters; some other BTS members show up too lol) Office au Romantic Comedy, Fluff
Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 (Finale)
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           "Leo what the--" Yoongi stepped out of the office to find Leo standing with a large suitcase at hand.
           "I did the honor of packing your clothes, sir." he bowed. "So it'll be unnecessary for you to return home after work."
           "Gee...thanks." Yoongi stated sarcastically.
           You were standing beside him in a daze, listening to their conversation but not truly comprehending it. You were beyond floored at the turn of events. Apart from Jimin and obviously the Chairman, no one knew about where you had come from. And you had wanted to keep it that way...especially from your new boss who enjoyed living lavishly.
           "I can't believe this is happening..." You breathed.
           "Well it won't be too bad. I've lived in a few small apartments here and there when I wanted to hide from family." Yoongi patted you in the back.
           You groaned.
           "Do you live far?" he questioned as you two began walking out of the building.
           "Yeah...a bit."
           "Alone?"
           "No...with my family."
           "Ohh." he was silenced. "Well I shouldn't intrude! The Chairman just can't force me into someone else's home. We should go back and complain!"
           "I already paid a visit on his orders and they were more than enthusiastic that Miss Y/N was bringing a man home." Leo cut in.
           You wailed. "Noooo! Mr. Leo --WHY?"
           You fought the urge to grab his perfectly ironed collar and shake him silly. "They're going to misunderstand!"
           Leo shook his head. "I made sure to explain that this is temporary and that you and Mr. Min have not shared any romantic notions past lying in bed beside each other with no bodily contact."
           Your face burned at the image of your parents having to hear that from a strange man, and Yoongi smacked Leo's arm.
           "Leo! I told you to stop saying things people would misunderstand!"
           "But it's the truth?" Leo mumbled.
           "No, no, no..." You shook your head. "This has to be a nightmare right? Right?"
           Yoongi stretched out your cheeks. "Get a hold of yourself woman."
           "Your parents were quite ecstatic." Leo continued. "They said 'it's about time she starts showing interest in men. She's always working! Of course we'd love to meet the man!'. And I believe someone who said they were your brother said 'Let me meet the deluded man who wants to date my sister!' They were all quite amiable. There should be no problems about our stay."
           You crouched down on the ground and covered your face in embarrassment. "Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry."
           Yoongi laughed. "They sound hysterical. I'm not so annoyed anymore. This might be quite an entertaining venture."
           You glanced up at him incredulously. "Are you serious?"
           Yoongi shrugged. "I'm a very flexible and adaptable man. It's supposed to be a punishment but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it."
           "Must be nice to be carefree."
           "Must be tough to think you can control life." he snorted.
           You glared at him but he nonchalantly continued strolling forward.
           "I guess I'll go home with you after work then."      
           You exhaled, knowing that there was no way around it. You had to accept the consequences of your actions. You deserved this, but it wasn't going to be an easy task for either of you. Your family and your living circumstances might be an absolute culture shock for him. And frankly, you knew they were going to embarrass the hell out of you in front of your new boss. You dreaded it all.
           "Are you upset cause you won't be able to 'clean the dirty hoes' while I'm around?" Yoongi joked as he walked you back to the building.
           "Let's just get to work. We'll deal with everything later." You sighed, not in the mood to jest.
           "Aye, aye." he grinned as he scurried ahead of you.
           You wondered who this was actually a punishment for. Yoongi seemed to have gotten over the loss of his apartment already while you felt like you gained a perpetual raincloud above your head.
           As soon as you returned to your desk, Jimin called you into his office curiously.
           "What happened?" he asked as he handed you a cup of water and guided you to his chair. "Why'd you both get called in by the Chairman?"
           "Well, he found that Yoongi's been neglecting his duties and I've basically been covering up for him by doing them instead." You explained with a frown. "So now he's punishing us."
           "How?" Jimin gasped as he sat at the edge of his desk, twirling his tie mindlessly.
           "He kicked Yoongi out of his apartment and told him to live with me..." You mumbled.
           You saw Jimin's hand still from twirling his tie and his face went through various emotions in a split second -- from confusion to shock to pure delight.
           "Oh my goodness. YOU'RE LIVING TOGETHER??" he exclaimed.
           "Shhhh!" You scrambled to cover Jimin's mouth, afraid other people would overhear through the walls.
           "Does he know you live on a farm?" Jimin whispered as he pulled your hand away.
           You shook your head. "Not yet."
           "I'm so jealous." Jimin pouted playfully. "You've never introduced me to your family and you've known me longer."
           "Jimin." You rolled your eyes. "This is hardly the time to play jealous. Plus you have your girlfriend back in Seoul."
           "Not my real girlfriend." Jimin emphasized.
           "Yeah, yeah. You only told people that so no one at work tries to seduce you cause you can't keep your urges in." You waved your hand then spotted a picture on his desk. "That's a new picture of her right? I've only seen the picture of you two on your phone and profile."  
           "Yeah, the three of us went on a trip when I took those personal days." Jimin smiled fondly at the photo.
           "How's CEO Jung doing these days?" You mentioned, thumb glazing over the third man in the photo. "Still crabby?"
           Jimin chuckled. "He probably has a higher stick up his ass than you do right now. I didn't think it was possible to be more uptight than you. But not sure what he's unhappy about, I heard his secretary was pretty hott."
           "Is that why you're planning on running away from me, huh?" You pinched Jimin's thighs in protest, and he cackled as he grabbed your hand to prevent any further pain.
           In the midst of your laughter, there was a light knock on Jimin's door.
           "Come in." he chimed.
           You both were surprised when Yoongi stepped into the room, mirroring the same expression of astonishment, probably due to the position you two were in. Hurriedly, you slipped your hand away from Jimin's and stood up.
           "I'll leave you two to talk." You stated with a slight blush and walked past Yoongi before either of them could tease you.
           "So how long does this bus ride take you?" Yoongi yawned as plopped down on the bench. "10 minutes? 20 minutes?"
           "An hour and a half." You admitted.
           "An HOUR AND A HALF?!" Yoongi shouted.
           Leo flinched from his loud voice and moved closer to you.
           "Yeah...I live far from the city."
           "Are you serious? What? Do you live on a farm or something?" Yoongi snorted.
           "Umm...well yes..." You confessed, rubbing the back of your neck.
           There was a few minutes of silence between you three; only the light sounds of engines and people chatting were heard.
           "S-seriously?" Yoongi stammered.
           "Yeah..." You looked down, embarrassed.
           "So you seriously travel an hour and a half to work and back home? All the time?"
           "Yeah."
           "And you've had get up earlier cause you had to get my ass out of bed?"
           You chuckled. "It's all part of the job."
           "So you're poor?" Yoongi blurted out.
           Other people at the bus stop shot him a look and you blushed. People passing by might consider him rude, but you knew he was merely curious rather than taking a stab at your economic status.
           "I guess relative to you, I am." You smiled slightly.
           The bus arrived, granting you an escape from the awkward conversation, and you urged the two of them to get in.
           "Payment." the bus driver stopped Yoongi.
           "What? Is this not free?" Yoongi blinked.
           The driver snorted. "Are you serious?"
           "Umm..." Yoongi lifted up his black credit card. "Can I swipe this?"
           "We accept bills, coins, or the pre-paid bus passes." The driver pointed at the sign.
           "What's the hold up??" the passengers behind you were getting antsy.
           "I'll pay for the two of them!" You peeked out with a big sigh.
           The driver nodded and you swiped your bus pass three times. Then you found the two of them standing in the middle of the bus with wide eyes.
           "What're you two doing?"
           "Are there assigned seats?" Yoongi questioned.
           You looked at him amused. "No, sit wherever you want."
           "Where are the best seats?" he questioned.
           You pointed. "The back row."
           "Go Leo! Acquire the back seats!" Leo nodded and marched to the back.
           His intimidating, expressionless face had the people occupying the seats scrambling out in mere seconds. You massaged your temples and sighed, apologizing to those passengers.
           "It's their first time. I'm sorry."
           Yoongi snuggled up next to the window and Leo protectively sat beside him. You opted to sit in front of them, not wanting to look like you were associated. At least you could try to find some sort of peace on the bus. You opened up the new book you were reading to teach yourself new things about economics and global marketing.
           "Seriously?"
           You felt Yoongi's breath near your ear and you jumped, banging your head against the window by accidentally.
           "Ah shit." You cursed as you rubbed your head.
           "She curses!" Yoongi clapped excitedly. "I never thought I'd see the day!"
           You glared at him. "People on the bus should be quiet."
           "I'm whispering." Yoongi grinned as he leaned close again. "Are you seriously reading that?"
           "Yes. Why shouldn't I?"
           "You're just a secretary...why would you need to?"
           "So I can cover my lazy boss's neglected duties." You retorted.
           Yoongi chuckled then switched places with Leo so he could cross his arms on the empty seat next to you. You raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.
           "So you and Mr. Park, huh?" he smirked playfully.
           You shook your head. "There is no me and Mr. Park. He's taken."
           "Didn't look so taken when I walked into the office?" he pressed. "You have a thing for him."
           "I don't see why that's any of your business." You turned your attention back to your book. After a few minutes of him staring at you, he spoke up again.
           "So I had someone find your resume for me."
           You sighed and shut the book dangerously; you couldn't concentrate on it anyway.
           "That's highly inappropriate, Mr. Min."
           Yoongi's lips curled up, finally succeeding in getting your full attention.
           "It's only right that a CEO knows their workers well."
           "And?" You questioned. "Find anything interesting?"
           "Everything was interesting." he smiled as he nestled his head further into his arms, tilting it to look at you intently. "I could see why you dislike me."
           "Really?" you stared at him, unconvinced. "My resume told you why I dislike you."
           "You're just taking out your feelings about how unfair society is. Why was I born into a rich family and you a not-so rich family? It's normal to feel jealous about that."
           You pursed your lips, trying not to get riled up. You weren't jealous about his life at all. You were infuriated that he was given such opportunities but he took them all for granted.
           "I dislike people who can't appreciate what's been granted to them." You stated simply.
           "And I dislike people who think they always know what's best for others." he muttered in return.
           You were about to protest but a new passenger took the seat beside you and Yoongi leaned back, closing his eyes. You stared at him for a few seconds before disregarding his statement and returning to your book.
           "Last stop!" the driver called out and you lifted yourself off of the window pane, having fallen asleep on it.
           You turned and shook Leo and Yoongi's legs, jolting them awake.
           "We're here." You yawned.
           They followed you groggily. Leo was lifting two suitcases with no qualms, while Yoongi was swaying side to side, bumping into you constantly. You exhaled and paused before getting any closer to your home. You turned and gently smacked Yoongi's cheeks to wake him up properly. He seemed to regain some of his consciousness and stared at you questioningly.
           "Okay, so listen to me carefully." You exhaled. "I have A LOT of family."
           "Okay..." Yoongi furrowed his brows and covered your hands on his face with his own. "And?"
           "They can get a little overwhelming and loud...so it might be shocking, but they're all good people and they mean well. I apologize in advance but they're a bit candid and kind of...free. Things are way different in the countryside than they are in the city. I don't want to shock you two."
           Yoongi smiled and nodded understandably. He grabbed your hands off of his face and gave them a squeeze reassuringly. "I told you I'm adaptable. Don't worry."
           Your lips curled up, still a little worried, but a bit relieved Yoongi was taking this so well.
           "And well, things aren't as clean and crisp as your apartment is..."
           "I know what a farm is, Y/N." Yoongi snorted. "Relax."
           "Okay. I'm just nervous." You admitted.
           He grinned cheekily. "Cause I'm the first guy you're bringing home?"
           You rolled your eyes. "Shut it."
           "Did you just tell your boss to shut it?" he playfully gasped.
           "Ahh!"
           A familiar voice exclaimed in the darkness.
           "Y/N's here! Everyone!"
           A small flashlight lit up and pointed towards you and Yoongi.
           "And they're holding hands! Mom, get the camera!"
           You pried your hands away from Yoongi's and rushed forward. "We're not holding hands!"
           "What? I totally just saw you!" the taller, broad shouldered man cackled playfully.
           "We were not! Stop slandering me!" You jumped up to reach for the flashlight, but to no avail. Suddenly, the flashlight was snatched away from the man's grasp by Leo with ease and given to you without a word.
           You smiled appreciatively at the bodyguard.
           "Oh! It's Leo!" the man cheered.
           Leo bowed.
           You turned to Yoongi and smiled, "This is my older brother Seokjin, but he acts like one of my younger siblings, so people always think I'm the oldest. Oppa, this is Mr. Min, my boss."
           "Just call me Yoongi." Yoongi reached out for a handshake.
           "Jin." Jin shook it then laughed. "Oh why're we doing this? Come here!"
           He pulled Yoongi into an embrace and you giggled at the pure shock that was displayed on your boss's face.
           "It's so nice to meet you!" Jin cooed. "Leo told me I'm older, so you can call me Jin-hyung!"
           "Um okay..." Yoongi nodded.
           "Say it!" Jin urged.
           "Jin-hyung." Yoongi obliged shyly.
           Jin clapped excitedly and wiggled his body. "I got a rich man to call me hyung!"
           You smacked your forehead and shook your head.
           "Anyways, let's get inside the house. It's getting chilly." Jin easily lifted the two suitcases and led you three down the dirt pathway. "Everyone's so excited to meet you, Yoongi. We all stayed up."
           "You guys didn't have to..." You mumbled, shyly.
           "He's a guest Y/N. We can't not greet him." Jin cut in.
           "Please don't tell me they brought Bacon out too." You groaned.
           "Bacon?" Yoongi furrowed his brows. "I'm not too hungry..."
           "Oh no--" You laughed.
           Suddenly, the sound of hurried footsteps and excited noises were rushing towards you three. You gasped as you watched Yoongi being tackled to the ground harshly.
           "Holy crap. What is this on top of me?" he grunted as he tried to make out what it was in the dark.
           You chuckled as you pointed the flashlight at him, causing him to scream loudly. On top of him lay a heavy piglet.  
           "That's Bacon."
           He frowned as he struggled to lift the piglet up. "That's just cruel."
           "My cousin named him." You crouched down and took the piglet into your arms easily. "He's a bit heavy huh?"
           Yoongi scoffed as Leo lifted him to his feet.
           "It was just hard to get leverage from the position I was in."
           You nodded, not buying his excuse for a second.
           "Mr. Min! ~"
           You heard your mother call out as she stepped forward and hugged him warmly. "I'm glad you three made it here safely! Welcome!"
           Yoongi smiled and bowed. "Thank you for having me on such short notice, Y/N's mother."
           "Just call me 'Mom'." she patted his cheek lovingly.
           "Mr. Min." Your father stepped forward and they shook hands firmly.
           "He's a man of few words and plenty of action. If you know what I mean." Your mom winked.
           Yoongi chuckled and you groaned. "Mom! Stop!"
           "What?" Your mom giggled. "Oh! Dears, come forward so Mr. Min can see you."
           You smiled as your siblings stepped forward into the light.
           "Here's my younger sister, the 3rd oldest. Then there's a huge age gap and we have the twins."
           They all shyly bowed then stepped behind you to hide.
           "My cousins should be around here too. Some of them are younger but there's one that's around our age who practically lives with us." You looked around.
           Jin chuckled. "Yeah, he was particularly excited to meet you."
           "I'm here! I'm here! Sorry! I'm here!"
           As if on cue, you all heard someone bellowing breathlessly, accompanied by scurrying footsteps.
           "I'm here!" he panted, as he came to light. He coughed as he tried to catch his breath then stood up straight. Scanning the faces, his face lit up and he rushed towards Leo.
           "You must be Mr. Min!" he shook Leo's hand enthusiastically. "I've heard such great things about you! I don't know why Y/N told me you were short. You're taller than me!"
           Yoongi coughed and you averted your gaze guiltily.
           "I'm actually Mr. Min." he smiled. "That's my bodyguard Leo."
           "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! Wow, you're a lot handsomer than Y/N gave you credit for." Your cousin scrambled over and grabbed Yoongi's hand. "I'm Taehyung, Y/N's cousin! Just call me Tae or Tae-Tae."
           He grinned widely, exposing his box grin. Yoongi smiled before being pulled into a tight hug once more.
           "We're going to be good friends. I can feel it!" Tae wrapped his legs around Yoongi's body and the latter frantically stumbled around, flapping his arms at the sudden extra weight on him.
           "Tae!" You scolded and your cousin hurriedly jumped off of him.
           "Sorry. Got too excited..." he bashfully retreated.
           "It's okay." Yoongi exhaled, realizing why you had warned him that it would be a bit overwhelming. But it was a good kind of overwhelming. He felt warmly welcomed. He bowed respectfully. "It's great meeting you all. Please take care of me for the time being."
           "Don't worry." Jin threw an arm around Yoongi. "You'll be helping us out in the fields so we'll all spend some quality time together!"
           "Yeah, we have to feed you too. Look how scrawny you look." Your mother worried as she ushered everyone into your house.
           "Wait, what? Helping out?" Yoongi blinked.
           "Yeah, Leo told us your grandfather wanted to have you help us out on the farm to get you to build some character." Jin smacked Yoongi's chest chummily. "We'll definitely help you out. I'm your hyung after all. Although, you're not as handsome as me, you're still pretty good-looking!"
           You sighed and glanced over at Leo, who was standing stiffly while Tae was circling him curiously.
           "Tae...?" You questioned then watched as Tae koala hugged Leo from the side.
           "I like him." Tae giggled. "He reminds me of a big kitty."  
           You chuckled, amused.
           Leo blinked and looked down at Tae questioningly. The younger grinned widely at him so Leo simply patted his head gently, wondering if that was what Tae was waiting for. It seemed to satisfy the cousin because he climbed down and helped Leo with a suitcase.
           You stayed behind the group, marching forward at a slow pace as you watched everyone fuss over the new guests with vigor. Thankfully, it was the weekend tomorrow so you didn't have to think about work. But you were a bit worried about whether or not Yoongi would able to handle helping out at the farm.
           Oh well.
           You shrugged.
           He did say he was adaptable and flexible after all.
           Yoongi lay wide awake. He tossed and turned on the floor. Tae was on one side of him and Jin was on the other, sleeping soundly. He thought this had been some sort of empty room for him to fill during his stay, but it turned out to be the males' bedroom. They simply laughed at him when he asked where their bed earlier. Leo was in his own corner of the room, also resting. He had told Yoongi he didn't feel it was appropriate to sleep near his master so he insisted on sleeping apart.
           "Ah this is crazy." he slipped out from the shared covers and stepped out of the room.
           He wandered towards the kitchen where he spotted a dim light. Peeking in carefully, he exhaled in relief when he realized it was just you.
           "Can't sleep either?" he mumbled and felt a bit better seeing you flinch in your seat. Teasing you always eased him.
           You turned and blinked. "Um yeah. You?"
           "I guess I'm not used to the floor." Yoongi scratched his head.
           "Sorry. My younger sister and the twins have the beds." You smiled apologetically.
           Yoongi shook his head as he took a seat. "No, don't be sorry. I'm not complaining. I'll get used to it in no time."
           "Want something to drink?" You offered.
           "What do you have?"
           "We make tea from scratch so I can pluck the leaves from the garden outside. If you want milk, I'll go get the cow."
           He froze in his seat. You burst out laughing, probably at his horrified expression. He relaxed, realizing you were kidding.
           "We do buy some groceries. Relax." You stood up. "Tea sound good?"
           "Yeah." he smiled, not expecting a joke from you.  
           You shuffled around the kitchen and he took a peek at what you were doing on the table. He recognized the planner that was always glued to your hand in the office. You were plotting out the next month already.
           "Wow..." he marveled as he skimmed through the pages. "You really are crazy."
           You shot him a disapproving look that had him grinning.
           "You even have the time you sleep scheduled??" he pointed. "And shower?!"
           You rushed over and snatched the planner away from him, obviously embarrassed. He smirked victoriously as you continued to tend to his tea without a word. Then he took the time to truly glance at you and found himself blushing. Long gone was your usual professional and uptight attire. You stood in front of him in a tattered and loose oversized shirt, and baggy basketball shorts. Your hair wasn't up in a tight bun and primly pinned back as it had been earlier, it was now down, slightly wavy and relaxed.
           "It's not as good as Leo's tea but yeah..." your voice pulled him out of his thoughts; he realized only now that you were standing in front of him expectantly.
           He blinked a few times to bring himself back to focus and after blowing on it a couple of times to cool it down, took small sip of the tea.
           "It's good." he smiled and watched as your body relaxed with his approval. Then you went about to make yourself some. "So what's a typical day around here like?"
           "What's this, an interview?"
           He smiled. "I'd like to know what I'm getting into."
           "Oh?" he watched as you turned, a playful smirk splaying on your face. "I thought you were more of a 'figure it out as you go' kind of guy."
           He sipped his tea, amused. "This is uncharted territory."
           "Interesting." You chuckled and took a seat beside him. "Well, in the morning, we get up when the roosters crow, which is when they spot the sunrise."
           He cringed at the thought of waking up before dawn.
           "Then we collect the new eggs the chickens laid. Mom usually makes breakfast while the younger ones go feed the animals. The older ones set up the equipment to head into the field for the day. Then we milk the cows and herd the sheep into the fresh pastures to graze. We also lead the pigs to the outside pen. Then we go to the fields and in this season, we tend to the crops and pick those that are ready for harvest and collect them. Sometimes we clean the stables too depending on how bad it is, groom the animals. It varies on need."
           Yoongi rested his face on the table and glanced up at you. "Are you serious?"
           "I'm serious." You smiled at him cheekily.
           "And I HAVE to do this?"
           "That's up to you." you giggled. "But my family is very coercive."
           He squinted at you skeptically.
           "Oh." You clapped and stepped into one of the rooms, coming out with a large fluffy blanket. "Here. You can use this. You can curl yourself up in a ball like usual and it'll kind of feel like a mattress underneath you."
           Yoongi reached out and grabbed it. It really was soft. He'd easily fall asleep with this hugging him.
           "Wow, this is great. Where'd you get it?"
           "Oh I made it." You grinned proudly. "There's lots of quality sheep wool inside the patterns."
           "Ahh." Yoongi remembered. "That's why you so easily tailored my suits and stuff."
           "I'm a woman of many talents." You smiled smugly.
           Yoongi chuckled. "Thanks for this."
           "Go rest up. You're going to need as much rest as you can get for tomorrow." You warned.
           "I'm afraid so." Yoongi stood up then glanced around. "Where do you sleep?"
           "Oh." He saw a dust of pink cover your cheeks. "I sleep in the living room."
           He furrowed his brows and looked over at the living room which had a ragged couch, a rocking chair, and a couple of wooden chairs surrounding a small wooden table.
           "Where..."
           You smiled warmly and pushed him towards the boy's room. "Get some rest, Mr. Min."
           He was trying to process where and how you were sleeping in that living room. Wasn't it cold? Was it comfortable? But you had ushered him back into the room with ease and he soon found himself wrapped inside your handmade blanket beside Leo. He was comfortable next to him and he didn't want his precious bodyguard to get cold. Plus, he wanted to see the man get flustered in the morning when he woke up beside him.
           Obnoxious screeching and heavy footsteps against the floor pierce through Yoongi's senses and stirred him awake. He groaned and reached his hand out, trying to find the source of the noise to turn it off. When he opened one eye, he found a bright pair of curious ones in front of his face. He gasped and stumbled away.
           "Good morning!" Tae grinned brightly. "You were like crawling but not really crawling just now. Were you having a dream?"
           Yoongi glanced around. It was just him and Tae in the room. Where did Leo go?
           "What is that noise?" he covered his ears, the irregularly rhythmic screech still ongoing.
           "Oh that's the rooster." Tae giggled. "He wakes us all up when the sun is starting to rise. That means it's the start of a new day of work!"
           "What?" Yoongi curled himself inside the blanket, not wanting to believe that people actually were raring to go this early in the morning.
           "Oh! That's noona's blanket ~" Tae pointed suggestively. "Did you two rendezvous last night??"
           "Tae." Your voice echoed at the doorway.
           Yoongi peeked out from his cocoon and spotted you in a pair of jeans and a flannel top, another casual look. Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail and you had your arms crossed as usual, wearing the stern look Yoongi was so familiar with. So was Tae apparently because he floated out of the room without complaints.
           "Let's go, Mr. Min. Jin laid out overalls for you to throw on, unless you want to wear your expensive leather jackets and hoodies to the barn." You nudged his body with your foot. "I warned you that you'd have to wake up early."
           He groaned and rolled around. "Where's Leo?"
           "Oh, he went running with Jin. Said something about wanting to scan the perimeter for any dangers." You restated.
           Yoongi exhaled and unrolled himself from the blanket. His hair was disheveled and his face felt undeniably puffy.
           "Wash your face and let's go. We have stuff to do. We'll start you off easy."
           "Define 'easy'?" Yoongi groaned.
           He caught you smirk as you took a step out of the room.
           "We're going to clean those dirty hoes you love so much."
           You stretched as you stepped out of your house, taking in the completely fresh air. It was one of the things you loved about still being home. It was like you got the best of both worlds--the bustling work life in the city and the relaxing weekend getaway feel of the countryside. During the week, you didn't see your family much and they never urged you to help out before you left or after you got home. Most of your pay went to your siblings anyway, and you really didn't mind. You liked encouraging them to dream big and giving them a safety net to do so.
           "So where are these hoes?" You heard Yoongi's playful tone behind you and you grinned.
           "Right this way, sir." You motioned towards the shed, taking in how much he had to roll up Jin's overalls because of their size difference.
           He glared at you. "I told you not to call me that."
           You giggled and walked forward. He followed you.
           Tae was sitting in the center of the shed with a rag, humming a tune while wiping down the tools in front of him.
           "This isn't hard, just tedious." You grabbed two fresh rags from the pile and chucked one at Yoongi. "We just clean them so they don't rust and they're all still effective when we take them out."
           "Gotcha." Yoongi glanced around. "Are there chairs?"
           You and Tae snickered.
           "Come sit by me, hyung." Tae patted the floor beside him.
           Yoongi did so and watched how Tae was doing it, mimicking his motions.
           Tae laughed. "There's no wrong way...just wipe it."
           "He's probably never had to clean anything before." You mentioned as you sat down in front of Yoongi.
           "So he doesn't even wipe his own butt?" Tae stared at Yoongi in awe.
           "Tae!" You blushed.
           "No." Yoongi whispered playfully. "Someone else does it for me."
           Tae gasped and gave him a thumbs up. "You're my hero!"
           You rolled your eyes at how gullible your cousin was.
           Tae continued to ask Yoongi questions about his life in the city and about rich people. Yoongi didn't seem to mind answering them. He'd add a story or two in there, which had Taehyung laughing without sound at how funny it was. You listened in, trying to hold back your own laughter. You still wanted to remain composed in front your boss after all.
           Suddenly Bacon and a beautiful large dog came running into the shed excitedly.
           "Soonshim! Bacon!" Tae opened his arms and the animals ran into his embrace.
           Yoongi glanced over at you curiously and you smiled.
           "Tae's an animal whisperer."
           "Ah." he raised his eyebrows, impressed.
           "He works as a vet in a small animal clinic nearby while he finishes up school." You disclosed.
           "Do they really have large hospitals JUST for animals in Seoul?" Tae's wide eager eyes had both you and Yoongi laughing.
           "Yeah. I know of a few." Yoongi mentioned.
           "REALLY?" Tae jumped up, causing Bacon to fall off his lap. "THAT'S LIKE MY DREAM!"
           "Is it?" Yoongi looked up at him, amused.
           You watched Tae and Yoongi chat with each other with ease.
           "What about Y/N?"
           You tuned in when your name was mentioned. "Hm?"
           Tae grinned, speaking for you. "She wants to be a CEO one day, and be a cool business woman. When she was young, she would stick wooden sticks under her slippers and pretend she was wearing high heels."
           You blushed, flustered by the way Yoongi was grinning at you fondly."T-tae, you can't just tell other people about my dream!"
           "What about you, hyung?" Tae chimed.
           Yoongi's face turned blank and he hummed. "I'm not actually sure..."
           Sensing Tae had accidentally hit a land mine, you stood up quickly. "I think these look clean now. How about we help out with collecting eggs?"
           "Yes!! I love egg hunting!" Tae sprung up excitedly and hurried out.
           "Here." You reached for Yoongi's freshly cleaned tool and he obliged.
           "So umm...how do we go about collecting the eggs? Is there some contraption that rolls them down?" he questioned.
           You laughed, "No. We're going to take them right from the chickens."
           His eyes threatened to leave its sockets. "What??"
           You had to drag him to the chicken coop by gripping tightly on his arm.
           "Y/N. You should know I don't like touching most animals. Dogs are fine. Even Bacon is good. But chickens...chickens are dangerous. So are cows. Cows are the DEVIL. And horses! They can all kill. They're going to take vengeance on the human race and kill us all."
           You rolled your eyes as you pulled him into the coop. Your young twin siblings were giggling as they chased the chickens around, providing a distraction so your younger sister and Tae can snatch up their eggs.
           "If my 7 year old siblings can do it, your grown ass can get in there." You encouragingly pushed him forward. "Tae, give Mr. Min some gloves."
           Tae glanced up with a blank expression. "Who's Mr. Min?"
           You exhaled and pointed at the man next to you, "Min Yoongi. Yoongi."
           Yoongi felt his lips curl up into a smile at hearing you say his first name for once.
           "Oh! Right!" Tae bounced up and got him thick gloves. "Now you have to time it perfectly. The chickens will peck you if you don't do it right."
           Yoongi gulped and took in a deep breath as he pulled the gloves over his hands. You bit your lip, trying not to crack up at his transparent nervousness. He was usually so relaxed and displayed an air of confidence, like nothing could faze him. But here he was, yielding to a coop full of chickens.
           You watched him with amusement as he cautiously padded inside with Tae. The twins and your younger sister were watching him curiously. He gripped onto Tae's sleeve anxiously and yelled out whenever a chicken skidded by. You covered your mouth out of respect, but the entire scene was hysterical.
           "It's okay, hyung. You can do it." Tae encouraged. "Twins, do your thing."
           The 7 year olds nodded and ran around chasing the chickens playfully, clearing the section with Yoongi.
           "Like this, Mr. Min." Your younger sister smiled warmly and showed him how to pick up the egg. "Put them in those crates outside of the fence."
           "I'll hold them up for you." You offered and lifted the egg crate up.
           Yoongi inhaled and exhaled as he crouched down, keeping an obvious close eye on the chickens, like he was doing something illegal. With a yelp, he grabbed the egg and waddled over to you, holding the one egg delicately and as far from his body as possible, like it was a ticking toxic gas bomb.
           "Good job, Mr. Min." You cooed, causing him to shoot you a glare at your obvious sarcasm. "Only a lot more eggs to go."
           You spotted the look of terror in his face, as he spotted the amount of eggs that had been laid on the ground.
           "Don't worry. With us three, we can get it done before breakfast is done!" Tae cheered. "Let's go, go, go!"
           Tae and your younger sister began humming a song and continued their work. Yoongi looked at you pleadingly, and you shrugged nonchalantly, enjoying this newfound power over him.
           "Why aren't you doing work?" he pointed.
           "I'm supervising so you don't slack of like usual, Mr. Min." You retorted.
           He scrunched his face at you in disapproval then stretched his back and legs, getting ready to crouch down along with the other two.
           "I'll show these chickens." he hummed.
           "Yes, Mr. Min. Turn up!" Tae exclaimed as Yoongi finally started picking up the eggs carefully and hurried his way to you to drop them off.
           You quite enjoyed seeing the adorable way he scurried back and forth, with a look of both astonishment and worry on his face whenever he succeeded in picking up an egg unscathed.
           "Ah! Ah! Ah!" He yelled whenever a chicken ran astray and close to him.
           He tiptoed away from it and soon the chickens were attracted to his odd little dance.
           "Get away from me! Gah!"
           The twins giggled and grabbed his hands on either side.
           "You're funny, Mister."
           "They won't hurt you."
           You watched as Yoongi stiffly stood in the middle of the crowd of chickens pecking at his boots with his eyes screwed shut. You laughed and entered to coop, figuring you should help him out, since it was his first time and all.
           "Come here Mr. Min." You pulled him away and gestured for the twins to grab food for the chickens.
           "Here ~" the twins handed you the bird feeder bag.
           "What's that?"
           "Since you're so popular with chickens, I figured you could help feed them." You smiled.
           "No. No thank you. Absolutely not."
           An obnoxious laugh erupted from the entrance causing everyone to look over.
           "Are you...chickening out Yoongi?" Jin cracked a joke, but no one reacted and went about their business.
           Jin laughed at himself and nudged Leo beside him. "Eh. Eh. That was funny! Cause he's in the chicken coop!"
           Leo pursed his lips in an attempt to hide his amusement, but couldn't stop himself from laughing along.
           "See? I made him laugh!" Jin interjected.
           "Cause he's laughing AT you, not with you, Oppa." Your younger sister emphasized.
           "Hand." You showed Yoongi your palm and he reluctantly mirrored you. You placed a handful of seeds into his palm and then in your own. Kneeling down, you whistled to get the chicken's attention and slowly, they bobbed their way over to your hand. You pulled at Yoongi's jeans to urge him to crouch down. With a nervous sigh, he did.
           "Ah!" he whined as their beaks dipped into his palm. "They're attacking me!"
           You rolled your eyes. "They're eating, Mr. Min."
           "Their beaks! My skin is going to be ripped!" he dramatically complained.
           "This ajhussi is funny." One of the twins stood beside him.
           "And his hair reminds me of cotton candy." the other smiled. "Will it taste like it too?"
           "No." You scolded and eyed the two troublesome youngsters.
           They reached out, petting Yoongi's hair innocently.
           "Fluffy." They giggled then went to play with Tae who was dancing around with two eggs in his palm, clearly in his own little world.
           "If you're like this with the chickens, you'll be ten times funnier with the rest of the animals." You snorted.
           "The rest?" Yoongi cried.
           "Maybe we'll just have you herd the sheep for today." You smirked as you stood up and wiped your hands clean. "Before you help out at the field, that is."
           He groaned then screamed when a chicken nipped at his empty palm. In a flash, he was scrambling to stand up.
           "I'll have you know I ate your cousins fried!" He retaliated childishly towards the chickens.
           Everyone in the barn was roaring with laughter at his comment. He looked around, puzzled at first, but then he grinned widely as he took a good look at everyone heartily enjoying themselves. This definitely wasn't boring way to spend time.
           But herding sheep for Min Yoongi wasn't any easier.
           On the flip side, it was even more entertaining for everyone. Your parents even took out the camera just to record him running away as fast he could from the sheep frolicking after him. You learned that he was an insanely speedy runner, for someone who didn't like doing much all day. In the end, Leo and Tae had to come in and save him while you properly herded the sheep into the fresh pasture.
           You walked back into the house after washing your hands, the scent of freshly cooked eggs and bacon filling your nostrils. Your family shot you suggestive glances as you entered the kitchen, and you realized they all had left a seat open beside Yoongi. You rolled your eyes and took a seat, unaffected.
           "I'm not sure how I feel about this." Yoongi frowned as he stared at his plate then at Bacon who was eating something in the corner. "How do you all not turn vegetarian?"
           Tae giggled. "Because it tastes good."
           Yoongi nodded in agreement. "Thank you for the food, Mrs. Y/L/N."
           "Dear, I told you to call me Mom." your mom smiled as she sat down, wiping her freshly washed hands on her apron.
           "Thanks...mom." Yoongi blushed and you smiled slightly, remembering how he had lost his own parents at a young age. It must be weird for him to call someone that after all these years.
           Your mom grinned and threw more bacon on his plate lovingly. "Now eat up. Feel free to get seconds and thirds. Tae and Jin always do. There's enough for everyone to get several helpings."
           "You'll need it." You bantered. "Today's probably the most activity I've ever seen you do."
           "Yeah, I could eat a whole cow." he answered lightly.
           "I thought cows were the devil." You grinned playfully.
           "I could still eat them." he shrugged.
           You caught Tae smirk and wiggle his eyebrows at you from across the table. Embarrassed, you kicked his leg underneath.
           "OW!" Jin cried out. "Who kicked me?!"
           You and Tae looked away, feigning innocence, while everyone else continued to ravage away at their meal.
           After breakfast, you left Yoongi and Leo in Jin, Tae, and your father's care, while you tended to your own duties with your mom and sisters. When you all reconvened for dinner later that day, Yoongi looked like he had gone through war and back. His face was gaunt and weak, and he was slightly stumbling on his own feet. Leo guided him firmly into the house.  
           "What did you do to him?" You mused as Yoongi retreated to the bedroom without a word.
           "Well we carried things here and there. Did the usual harvesting routine. He helped out, but struggled. He's not used to heavy lifting it seems so his muscles are probably shot." Jin frowned worriedly. "Hopefully he's okay. We tried to take it easy today, but we do have a schedule."
           "It's okay." You chuckled. "I'm sure he's just resting. He'll be okay."
           "Honey, here." Your mom handed you a packet. "Put these medicinal patches on his back to soothe the muscles."
           You exhaled. "Why don't Tae and Jin do it?"
           "No way." Tae giggled and shoved the patches into your hands. "I'm sure he'd rather have you ~ do it."
           "Don't do anything. It's still our bedroom." Jin warned.
           "Like I'd do anything! Pfft." You rolled your eyes and stormed into the room, to hide your growing blush. You were sure your whole family meeting was heard by Yoongi on the other side of the wall. But when you found him, snoring, face-down on the ground, in just his boxers, you thanked the lucky stars he didn't.
           "Good work today, Mr. Min." You mumbled as you knelt beside him, pressing the patches onto the tensed muscles of his back.
           He groaned as you pushed down on his knots, stirring awake. "Y/N."
           You blushed. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
           You showed him the herb patches. "I just wanted to make sure I was putting them where it's most tense."
           "I'm so exhausted." he yawned. "How are you still functioning?"
           You smiled. "I'm used to it I guess. I was raised doing this."
           He sat up groggily. "But I'm also starving, so I'm glad you woke me up."
           "Dinner's almost ready."
           "Mmkay."
           He spun around, showing his back to you, allowing you to place the patches on him more easily.
           "Can you massage my shoulders?" he requested. "I feel like I'm wearing shoulder pads."
           You chuckled and kneaded your fingers against his skin, trying not to think about how he was only wearing one thin piece of fabric in front of you. Your mind instead wandered to how soft his skin felt, smooth like a baby's, and glowingly white, like the fresh milk you had gather earlier today.
           You realized that his body had grown limp under your touch and he was no longer grunting at the pain. You peeked over and found him sound asleep, with his head hanging down carelessly. You smiled to yourself as you eased him down onto his pillow. But he shivered and rolled over, trying to find some sort of warmth, which so happened to be your lap. You inhaled sharply at the contact as he nuzzled his head comfortably. His hands were gripping the side of your jeans tightly.
           "Um..." You bit your lip.
           His mouth hung open and soft snoring was soon heard; his body rising and falling rhythmically. You yawned, watching him made you feel sleepy too.
           After a few minutes, your legs started tingling. They were asleep and when you went to shift your position, you felt pins and needles shoot all over your leg. You winced and hurriedly shook Yoongi awake. He shot up urgently from your hurried shakes.
           "What? What?" he frantically looked around the room.
           "My legs... my legs are asleep." You whined.
           "Oh shit." he realized that it was because of him and scrambled to lay a hand on your leg.
           "AHHH!" You screamed as he slowly moved your legs from underneath you.
           You gripped at his shirt, tears forming in your eyes. It was painful, but it also slightly tickled. You weren't sure how to react.
           "Lay back. I'll massage it." he instructed worriedly.
           You covered your eyes so he couldn't see that you were starting to cry and got on your back. He lifted your leg and massaged your calves roughly, making you yell out again.
           Suddenly, the door burst open and your hand flew away from your face, realizing what the entire situation might look like. Yoongi was still half naked to make matters worse.
           You were horrified as you found your older brother, Jin, standing at the door in pure shock, his eyes wide and his mouth parted. Leo was beside him nodding approvingly, his face unchanging as always.
           "Oppa... I..." You stammered to explain.
           Then Tae appeared beside Jin curiously and his face oppositely turned into a seductive grin.
           "Ooo la la~" he giggled.
           "Tae..." You tried to sound threatening but your heart raced worriedly at what mischievous thought had run through his mind.
           "Auntie! ~ GET THE BABY CRIBS BACK OUT! YOU GON' BE A G-MA!" Tae announced happily.  
           You groaned and covered your face in shame while Yoongi slowly lay down and rolled himself silently into his blanket cocoon.
           This was going to be a looongg punishment.
PART 4 
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flappyfluellen · 7 years
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So I read the Merry Wives of Windsor
...and I have a lot of thoughts!!
To tell the truth, I got into this play because of Hugh Evans. And my theater friends.
Basically what happened was—I was surfing the Shakespeare internet when suddenly I came across a page on how Shakespeare writes accents. There was one on Welsh accents, which intrigued me. After all, Fluellen is quite possibly my favorite character in Shakespeare, and I’m pretty interested in Welsh culture, thanks to him. However, I was under the impression that Fluellen and Glendower (and that one random Welsh soldier dude from Richard II) were the only Welsh people in Shakespeare. Turns out I was wrong—Sir Hugh Evans is a Welsh parson from Merry Wives. And, then to my utter astonishment, it turns out he has more lines than Fluellen or Glendower!
So of course I was very interested in finding out just who this Evans guy was. Originally I didn’t plan on reading the entire play—just looking through a couple summaries, maybe. However, the factor that fully convinced me was that some of my theater friends (who were in Henry V with me) were currently in a production of Merry Wives. I had a good conversation with them about it, as well as talking with some of my other Shakespeare-obsessed friends (shoutout to @tragicdanishlesbians !), and decided—this play sounds interesting; I’m gonna read it, why the hell not.
…Anyway, all that goes to show that I read the play (in three days actually), and quite thoroughly enjoyed it.
I feel like I should primarily address Evans, since he got me into this whole thing. He’s great. Arguably extraneous, but eh, I love him. He gets mocked for his accent and Welsh-ness a couple times, though, which is… unfortunate. Lots of references to stereotypically Welsh things, like cheese or flannels. Especially cheese. (also, perhaps he and Fluellen could be brothers?) My favorite scene of his is certainly the one where he’s quizzing William on Latin verb conjugations and Nell Quickly entirely misinterprets it… that was pretty hilarious. And he sings to himself when he’s scared?! Aww.
Also the best line in the entire play: “Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese!”
I feel like I’ve spent way too much time discussing Evans. He is in no way the most important character in the play. Here, let me speak to some of the others.
Mistess Ford & Page? The badass women Windsor deserves. 10/10 love these women. They take no shit from Falstaff nor their husbands, and are pretty much the driving forces of the play. Honestly, what more can I say? And Ford’s line about them is pretty great: "I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.”
Even the play is named after them—they are the Merry Wives: "We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, / Wives may be merry, and yet honest too: / We do not act that often jest and laugh; / 'Tis old, but true, still swine eat all the draff."
However, in all honesty, I think that Ford is the most interesting character in the play. At the beginning, he’s just kind of your standard jealous husband. It’s all fun and games. But then Falstaff calls him a cuckold about five times in one speech, and suddenly this happens…
"Would any man have thought this? See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at … Terms! names! Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! Wittol! —Cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. … I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese … than my wife with herself; then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises…"
This soliloquy of Ford’s really struck me because it’s so intense. He’s essentially saying that being called a cuckold is worse than being called a devil: I would certainly liken it to some of Othello’s or Leontes’ speeches. Though of course, Ford is different from Othello or Leontes (or Claudio from Much Ado) because he actually has pretty good reason to suggest his wife is unfaithful. And yet… he’s actually a lot more humane about it? Yes, he has this intense speech (which really speaks to his anxieties)—but he doesn’t slander or kill *cough* Othello *cough* his wife. And he apologizes to her afterwards. Which is great!
Of course, since Merry Wives is a comedy, it doesn’t explore these darker themes as much as a play like Othello or Winter’s Tale would. However, I would still argue that there are elements of darkness in the play. One is the theme of cuckoldry. Another is the treatment of Falstaff.
For the most part, Falstaff’s humiliation is hilarious. He deserves a lot of it. The whole laundry-basket thing is fantastic. But… it seems to me that they almost go too far? “We cannot misuse him enough,” says Mistress Page. The last scene is pretty great, in my opinion, but still—they burn him with candles! I’m not sure how I feel about that! It seems to parallel the treatment of Malvolio in Twelfth Night, almost...
Some more thoughts!
Poor Quickly, working for all those different people. Also, she’s not as badass in this play as she was in Henry IV—but, well.
I wonder when this play is set, in regards to Henry IV? The only mention of characters in H4 looks to be this offhand line of Page’s regarding Fenton: "The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild prince and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too much."
I find it kind of hilarious that Slender and Caius ended up accidentally marrying boys.
Re. Caius… wtf dude?? He is a little Too Obsessed with Anne Page. And then when he hears that Evans encouraged Slender to woo Anne, all of a sudden he’s like I WILL KILL YOU EVANS and it’s actually really intense and disturbing. Dude. Chill. Please. Evans deserves 0% of this and tbh neither does Anne nor Simple.
I don’t really understand how Caius and Evans got revenge on the Host…? Did that ever happen? Was it connected to that random horse-stealing incident? idk.
Re. the whole subplot with Anne Page and her suitors—I’m glad she got to marry who she wanted in the end! That was really great.
There was so much horn imagery… obviously relating to cuckoldry, but still interesting.
Most of the play is in prose! It was interesting to note the rare places where they switch to verse (most notably, when talking about magic, Herne the hunter, etc)
Bottom line? Merry Wives is a fun play. It is in no way as deep as some of Shakespeare’s other comedies—but hey, it’s a comedy. It’s fun. It’s got a good story. Lots of laughs. And even some little hints at a darker nature. Not for people unfamiliar with Shakespeare—but for those who are, I would recommend it!
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ismael37olson · 5 years
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As Soft and as Pink as a Nursery -- 13 Really Sexist Musicals
In this moment in our cultural history, in which we're finally calling out expressions of sexism, racism, and other bias, it's worth looking closer at the shows we produce. Maybe the Era of Trump has made it necessary. A while back, I wrote a blog post about musicals that are much darker than most people think. Now we're having debates about problematic content in older musicals, and whether or not some older shows should be largely retired. Sometimes people tell me -- apologetically, but not really --that they don't really like "the new musicals." They like Rodgers & Hammerstein because they "just want escape." You know, like the "escape" of World War II in the Pacific, or the "escape" of watching the King of Siam lose his culture and then his life, or the "escape" of watching Jud Fry buy pornography from Ali Hakim, then try to murder Curly and Laurie, then die in a knife fight... Escape is awesome. Some people (usually white straight men) are enraged that anybody would suggest that Annie Get Your Gun should be retired for good. But it should. Times change. We are no longer the people, the culture, or the country we were in the early and mid 20th century. A great many of the shows written before 1960 (and some since then) are no longer relevant, and many of them are embarrassing or full-out offensive.
Here are some examples...
My Fair Lady -- This is a story about a narcissistic misogynist who keeps a young woman hostage in his home, using psychological torture, including sleep deprivation, to break her will and brainwash her, in order to make her socially acceptable and marriage-able to other men. Although, to be fair, the original poster laid out the show's sexism pretty clearly. At the end of the show, we debate whether the ambiguous ending means Eliza loves Henry or not. Let's hope not, for her sake! Why the fuck did she come back...? Sure, you could argue this is a near-masterpiece in many ways, and like some of Shakespeare's plays, it should be kept in the canon even though it's problematic. But you can't call Annie Get Your Gun anything remotely like a masterpiece. Annie Get Your Gun  -- Like My Fair Lady, this show is about the subjugation of strong women by insecure men. Ultimately, Annie can only win Frank's heart by letting him win fraudulently, so his tiny male ego isn't hurt. WTF? And what's with that toxic song, "The Girl That I Marry"?
The girl that I marry will have to be As soft and as pink as a nursery. The girl I call my own Will wear satins and laces and smell of cologne. Her nails will be polished and, in her hair She'll wear a gardenia, and I'll be there; 'Stead of flittin', I'll be sittin' Next to her and she'll purr like a kitten. A doll I can carry, the girl that I marry must be.
Seriously, "a doll I can carry"...??? She is literally an object to him, a toy. This is twelve years after Reno Sweeney had told us that "times have changed." Carousel -- This is a show about a serial womanizer and abuser, and petty repeat offender, who dies in the commission of a violent crime and leaves behind a wife with PTSD and a fucked-up daughter who tries to find validation in the arms of other men. Of course, these days, this is most infamous for this exchange between Billy's widow Julie and her daughter Louise:
Louise: I didn't make it up, Mother! There was a strange man here and he hit me -- hard -- I heard the sound of it -- but it didn't hurt, Mother! It didn't hurt at all -- it was jest as if he -- kissed my hand! Julie: Go into the house child. Louise: But is it possible, Mother, fer someone to hit you hard like that -- real loud and hard -- and not hurt at all. Julie: It is possible, dear, fer someone to hit you -- hit you hard -- and not hurt at all.
Anybody want their daughter to see that scene...?
Kiss Me, Kate -- Another show about the subjugation of strong women by insecure men. This story is literally about the "taming" of a woman. Animals are tamed, not people. The only way to make it work is by subverting the text, by suggesting through the staging, line delivery, etc., that Kate is "in on the joke." But even if you change the ending that way, it doesn't erase the abuse he has subjected her to, throughout the rest of the show. She's going to be happy with this guy?  No. Guys and Dolls -- Yet another show about the subjugation of strong women by insecure men. Adelaide is in a psychologically abusive relationship with Nathan. They've been engaged for fourteen years, in a time and place when women had to get married. There's no way he actually loves her. And Sky gives Sarah the 1950s equivalent of a date-rape drug. And notice in the song "Marry the Man Today," we discover Adelaide and Sarah don't really like a whole lot about their men. So why would they marry them? And Republicans want to return to the 1950s. No, No, Nanette -- Yet another show about the subjugation of strong women by insecure men. Surprisingly for 1925, one of the central plot lines is about how Nanette cannot enjoy independence without money, and all the money is controlled by men. It's an unusually honest and truthful comedy for 1925, though Nanette can't live Happily Ever After till she gets her man. Yawn. Camelot -- Not only is this another story of the subjugation of strong women by insecure men, but here, the woman's punishment is literally burning at the stake. She is to be killed for the crime of being sexually active and choosing for herself who she loves. The irony gets even uglier when you consider how much the serially adulterous JFK loved this show. And let's not forget that Guenevere is a truly fucked-up young woman who has been taught to be attracted to (and aroused by?) violence. The Sound of Music -- Here's one about a damaged young woman who falls for an angry, abusive, distant daddy figure, who has raised some monster children. Aw, isn't that sweet? What's that rule about workplace romances? Yeah, but the Alps are so pretty! Maria is never allowed to decide her own fate -- everybody tells us what to do, and then she does. And how about the treatment of the Baroness -- how did Georg's legitimate fiancee become the villain here...? It's not exactly the old "virgin vs. whore" scenario, but it's close...
Once Upon a Mattress -- This is a comedy entirely about how women have to be twice as good as men to get the same job. In the late 1950s! Tell Me on a Sunday (Act I of Song and Dance) -- This is a great show in a lot of ways, but it's about a woman who has learned to define herself only in terms of the men in her life. Yikes! We produced the show with New Line because as weak and fucked-up as this woman is, we did see a lot of truth in her, and ultimately, we think she will take control of her own life... Beauty and the Beast -- Sorry about this, Michelle, but this is a story about a young woman with Stockholm Syndrome, imprisoned by an insecure man... er, monster. It's creepy in a similar way to My Fair Lady. Why do we accept these stories? Why do women find them romantic? Miss Saigon -- Kim is a depressing, weak, Asian stereotype, who literally cannot talk about anything other than love, and who is helpless unless the White Savior can rescue her. But the White Savior has a White Wife, so the Asian woman is fucked. The Robber Bridegroom -- The story's hero Jamie Lockhart tells us repeatedly (most explicitly in the Act I finale) that he doesn't enjoy sex if it's consensual. Think about that. He only likes sex if it's rape.
I never was a courtin' kind of boy; Them flirtin' games ain't nothin' I enjoy. I hate a girl to give me goo-goo eyes; If she'd turn her back, I'd sneak attack, And get 'er by surprise! ‘Cause I like Love stolen from the cookie jar! I like love stolen on the sly! Oh yeah! I just love snitchin' what ain't meant for me; Oh the more forbid, The sweeter tastes the pie! A lot of girls are willin' to be had; The more I see, the more it makes me mad. You grab ‘em good; it doesn't faze 'em none. Well, that may be cool by the modern rule, But they're killin' all the fun!
You know, the "fun" of raping someone. How can anyone produce this show anymore? We did it in 2004, long before the #MeToo movement, and it was a difficult show even then -- which is the point. I'm told a recent local production essentially removed the rape from the story by making it all more playful and making Rosamund more obviously eager and compliant. That's fine I guess, but then it's a different show making a different point (if any) about different things. It's no longer about the intersection of violence and sex in American culture and in our American DNA. Yes, it's in our DNA. We can never forget that mid-century America was fine with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, a freakish MGM romanticizing of abduction and rape; and also The Fantasticks, in which abduction and rape are ironic comic devices. So what do we do with this show? It's awfully hard to make a case right now for a comedy about rape. Women characters in many musicals are weak. That's partly because companies still produce a lot of really old musicals when our culture not only accepted that, but expected it. It's also because until the last decade or two, there were virtually no women writing musicals. And since lots of musicals center on a love story, it was almost always a love story from the male (fantasy?) point of view. When there were strong women characters, they were generally the secondary "comic" lead. Because after all, you can't take a strong woman seriously!
There were exceptions (almost always written by gay men) like Dolly Levi and Mame Dennis, but even they needed men before they could end their stories happily. Most disturbingly, since it opened in 1966, Mame is about a nonconformist who is repeatedly forced to conform. It's not an accident that a year later, the American theatre answered with Hair -- which admittedly, is awfully sexist in its own ways.
What's my point with all this? My point is not that we should abandon all the old shows. But I do believe we need to think more critically about work we're really familiar with. It took me a long time to realize what a dirtbag Harold Hill is, because I grew up watching him in one of my favorite movie musicals. It never occurred to me as a child to question any of it. And really, that's the genius of The Music Man, that Harold cons us (the audience) as successfully as he cons the River City-zians. We can be eassily seduced by our favorite musicals, by great songs, etc., and we have to be careful about that. In other words, just think about it. More than we have been. Long Live the Musical! Scott from The Bad Boy of Musical Theatre http://newlinetheatre.blogspot.com/2018/11/as-soft-and-as-pink-as-nursery-13.html
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