#this is a legitimate problem on my campus
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next time i see someone push in front of a person in a wheelchair to get on the elevator first i am destroying their kneecaps with my cane
#this is a legitimate problem on my campus#when it happens to me it’s annoying af but at least i can take the stairs#it’s absolutely miserable but i can do it#when i see it happen to my disabled friends though??#i cannot be held accountable for my actions in that situation#chronic illness#chronically ill#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#disabled#disability#pots syndrome#potsie#pots#joint pain#migraine
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["It seems that as lesbians engage in the continuing process of self-definition, their sense of the essentiality or fluidity of their sexuality may change. In contrast, the distinction between primary and elective lesbianism seems to remain more dichotomous over the course of development. Women of all ages with whom I have spoken made reference to such a distinction; they tended to identify as one or the other, and experienced this identification as one that was stable.
Let me return to my discussion of these differing dimensions of lesbian identity as they were experienced by the students with whom I spoke. Because among themselves some of these students discussed lesbianism and their differing experiences of it, they were often aware that not all lesbians described themselves similarly. Sometimes they had distinct opinions about themselves in relation to other lesbians who described themselves differently. For example, some women whom I have characterized as primary lesbians referred to themselves as "born" or "real" lesbians with the implicit designation of elective lesbians as "fake."
It was not uncommon for an elective lesbian to express to me privately her speculations about whether she was "really" a lesbian. At times she wondered whether she wasn't "really" bisexual, or even heterosexual. While some primary lesbians interpret such uncertainty as difficulty in coming out, unwillingness to give up heterosexual privilege, or internalized homophobia, it seems to me that at least some of the elective lesbian's uncertainty can be traced back to the belief within the campus lesbian community that women who choose to be lesbians are somehow less real, or legitimate, than those who felt they had no choice about it.
Despite this belief, there did seem to be to be a tolerance within the community for differences based on primary, compared with elective, lesbianism. In contrast, the issue of whether sexuality was thought of as essential or fluid was a much more sensitive one. For example, there was a noteworthy asymmetry in the application of the concept of the fluidity of sexual attractions when discussed in relation to lesbian and heterosexual women. I spoke with more than a few lesbians who were quite intolerant of (some) heterosexual women's insistence that they were simply not sexually attracted to women and that they couldn't imagine ever feeling differently. Implied in their intolerance was the belief that, despite heavy socialization pressures, sexual attraction is never so fixed and unmalleable as to be irrevocably focused just on persons of one sex. Yet some of these same women were equally intolerant of the opposite stance, that sexual feelings could exist toward persons of either sex, when expressed by a lesbian.
The assumption was often made about lesbians who were unwilling to state that that they were (forever) uninterested sexually in men, that they must be having difficulty in coming out, or were unwilling to accept a stigmatized identity. Sometimes they were assumed to be going through a bisexual phase, or worse yet, to be male-identified and operating under a false consciousness. The assumption that bisexuality is simply a phase in the coming-out process of lesbians, and that those who call themselves bisexuals are really just lesbians unwilling to call themselves that, has been countered by the contention from self-proclaimed bisexuals that their lesbianism was a phase in their coming out as bisexuals.
The problem with all of these assumptions is that one person or set of persons presumes an attitude of knowing and understanding the meaning of another person's experience better than the person who is herself experiencing it. In this climate, individual women may have a difficult time finding their own voices and defining their own experiences. To the extent that lesbianism is very narrowly defined, the categories will restrict, rather than give full expression to, the diversity among women who subjectively describe themselves as lesbian.
The question of sexual identity and how it is formed is not well understood, but some of our psychological conceptions do not do justice to the complexity of the process. We have often simplistically assumed that people have sexual attractions to persons of one or the other sex (but not both), that they act on those exclusive attractions, and that they eventually come to adopt the identity appropriate to their sexual activities, although there may be some resistance when that identity is a stigmatized one. It appears to be the case, however, that sexual feelings and activities change; they can be fluid and dynamic. And furthermore, the reality is that feelings, activities, and self-conscious identities may not at all times be congruent. It has been suggested by social psychologists that people strive for congruence between their thoughts and feelings, and that with respect to sexual identity in particular, we are motivated to achieve congruence between our feelings, activities, and self-proclaimed identities. This suggestion, however, does not accord with what I observed during my six-and-a-half years at a women's college in the late seventies and early eighties."]
carla golden, from diversity and variability in women's sexual identities, from lesbian psychologies: explorations and challenges, edited by the boston lesbian psychologies collective, 1987
#carla golden#lesbian literature#history stuff#currently reading#the boston lesbian psychologies collective
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NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9 Ep 28: E-Sports Drama Kings
Luigi’s new friend Noemi became an important part of his life, but not everyone he saw on the top floor of The Commons was so friendly.
The annoying redheaded rival gamer he’d met at tryouts had never given up on trying to stay top dog by pushing Luigi down. It was just possible that he was legitimately the better gamer, but it was tough to tell because Beau never seemed short on mind games and dirty tricks to throw Luigi off.
An unexpected upside of Luigi’s anemia scare was a concerned Coach Silva finally noticing his two most promising recruit’s growing unhealthy dynamic.
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Pulling them aside after practice one evening he gave them a lecture on the importance of working together instead of undermining each other.
They were both good players with great potential. With hard work and a little luck they could go far, but if they couldn’t manage to put aside whatever was going on between them, then it would seriously impact both their success and their standing within the team.
Luigi was horrified. He respected the professor and felt like he’d only ever been on the defense against Beau’s unwarranted attacks. Worried about making the situation worse he didn’t argue, agreeing instead to do better in the future and holding out a hand for Beau to shake.
Beau echoed Luigi’s sentiment, but his painful grip of Luigi’s outstretched hand revealed his true feelings about his rival.
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The boys may have played nice in front of the professor, but the second they were out of his sight their anger boiled over.
Luigi was the first to vent his frustration. He wasn’t going to let some no-good low life like Beau ruin his standing on the team or his chances of going pro! He didn’t know what Beau’s problem was, but he’d put up with it since day one, and his patience had run out.
Beau had better take Professor Silva’s warning to heart because if he messed with Luigi one more time, he would find that two could play that game.
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Beau fired right back: he wasn’t the one with the problem! Luigi strutted around campus like he was the king of the world, but spoiled little rich boys couldn’t expect to take hard to earn spots in fields like e-sports from Sims who actually needed the work and would do what it took to get ahead.
Luigi could consider this his lucky day – he wasn’t worth jeopardizing Beau’s future so he would play nice, but Luigi better watch his back.
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Luigi was livid, but also, secretly ashamed. His Papa had said he was “king of the world”, or at least the most special sim in this SimNation. However, Jack had also always stressed the importance of being humble. Being seen as “putting on airs” bothered Luigi more than he’d ever admit to this jerk.
The important thing was that Beau had said he'd lay off, and now was neither the time or the place to escalate things. Instead, Luigi spat out an angry “fine, whatever” and the two Sims shared one final, violent, glare before storming off in separate directions.
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View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here
#sims 4#sims 4 challenge#sims 4 legacy#sims4#sims 4 not so berry#sims 4 nsb#sims4nsbstraud#sims 4 let's play#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 lets play
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I’ve been fuming since I saw the photo above yesterday. Fuming about the stupidity of youthful idealism, and then thinking about how I voted for Richard Nixon and the Second American War in Vietnam and everything else that happened afterwards to today, back in 1968, out of the stupidity of youthful idealism.
No, I didn’t walk into a voting place and step into a booth and mark a ballot for Nixon. I voted for him in 1968 when I didn’t vote that year, so I could show Hubert Humphrey and the Democrats how unworthy they were of my vote and support.
And by not voting for Humphrey, who only lost the popular vote by around 50,000+ votes, I voted for Nixon and his “secret plan” to end the war. I voted for more division at home that ultimately led to the resurgence of the Right with all that meant over the next 50 years, for 59,000 more American deaths in the next four years, for the disruption and dislocation of all of Southeast Asia and the deaths of millions while Nixon and Kissinger did everything they could to not have to accept the same damn deal that LBJ’s negotiators had finally said yes to in the fall of 1968, just before the election, the deal that was sabotaged by Nixon to insure his election as president. I voted for all of that in an act of political pique. And by so doing, I got exactly what I didn’t want when I look at the way things are today.
My point in raising this memory is to make the point that the antiwar movement back then and the campus protests against the Gaza War now are very hot-house environments, environments where people can come up with surprisingly bad ideas that somehow make sense to them in the moment.
Act in haste; repent at leisure.
1968 was an inflection point in American history. Two very different futures were offered: one in which the government would be controlled by a political party that was far from perfect, but was committed to keeping the social contract that had been made in 1932, the social contract that had made the country the most successful, middle class country in history. The other future would be dominated by people dedicated to destroying everything that had been achieved since 1932.
And we in the movement dedicated to making America live up to its founding ideals made the wrong choice. We got exactly what we didn’t want.
As was certainly the case in the 1960s, meritorious protest actions on college campuses often mutate into romanticizing “revolutionary action” and the drama of occupations.
One thing they never do is actually solve the problem the student revolutionaries are protesting.
The Columbia protesters made a major strategic mistake when they occupied Hamilton Hall. Up to that point, the protesters were winning in the forum of public opinion by posing questions: Why are you claiming this protest is a big crisis? We’re just here in our tents on a campus green. We’re not being violent and we’re taking steps to police our group’s activities.
They were winning that argument, in the court of public opinion and on other college campuses, as shown by the spread of protests and encampments. Occupying the building, including the property destruction and violence that always accompanies such action, lost the argument. In the forum of public opinion, employing force to end that occupation - and the others across the country - received approval, and the protesters became caricatures in Right Wing media - the new “antifa” and “BLM.” Maybe visuals of the NYPD coming in to clear the building were what the the extremists among the protesters wanted. But it gave force to the argument that the university had a legitimate public safety issue to contend with.
People get wound up into fantasies that they’re part of some kind of revolutionary action or moment. And in so doing, they always manage to defeat themselves in accomplishing the goal they say they want.
Now, The College Democrats of America, that claims to represent over 100,000 students across the country, calling itself “the official collegiate arm of the Democratic National Committee” has issued an ominous warning to President Joe Biden. Tuesday, the group released a statement expressing support for students protesting the war in Gaza and criticizing the administration over how it is managing the conflict.
The statement read, “Since the beginning of this conflict, College Democrats and students from every walk of life have had the moral clarity to see this war for what it is: destructive, genocidal, and unjust. As College Democrats we are committed to the reelection of President Biden. The White House has taken the mistaken route of a bear hug strategy for Netanyahu and a cold should strategy for its own base and all Americans who want to see an end to this war. Each day that Democrats fail to stand united for a permanent ceasefire, two-state solution, and recognition of a Palestinian state, more and more youth find themselves disillusioned with the party.”
On Wednesday, they upped the ante, declaring on Xitter: “College Democrats’ votes are not to be taken for granted by the Democratic Party. We reserve the right to criticize our party when it fails to listen to us. If you keep ignoring us, keep giving us the cold shoulder, you risk losing your own base, and then in turn, the election.”
Criticisms of President Biden’s position in support of or opposition to almost every issue relating to the Middle East has quickly transformed into an oblique threat: “If Biden doesn’t do or say XYZ, he will lose the support of - fill in the blank - Young voters, college students, Muslims, Jews, centrists, independents, law and order voters, persuadable Republicans, and anti-war protesters from the 1960s (at least those among the latter who learned nothing from their experience).
Threatening to abandon Biden over his Middle East policies implies a willingness to abandon support for: women’s reproductive liberty and equality; the right of Black voters to equal access to the ballot box; protection of the environment; protection of healthcare and retirement for Americans on Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid; continuation of affordable healthcare for all Americans; due process for 10 million immigrants who will be “rounded up” and placed in camps before summary deportation; Muslims who will be denied free transit to and from countries where family and friends reside; LGBTQ people whose right to marriage and civil rights equality is under attack; scientists and teachers who want to pursue knowledge and educate others free from political retribution.
That these political 6-year olds threaten to turn their backs on fellow citizens and these urgent issues is - in the words of my friend Josh Marshall at TPM - a “burn it all down” strategy that will injure hundreds of millions of Americans.
The threat by these over-privileged pre-schoolers is an implicit promise to support Trump. Just like my “vote” in 1968 was a vote for Nixon and every evil thing that Fount of Evil tried to do in the next four years, as well as a vote for every evil thing that Republicans have done since with the power they gained in the 1970s by opposing everything we said we were in favor of.
2024 is an inflection point in American history as surely as 1968 was, only this time the choice is even more meaningful, more important than it was 56 years ago. Like it or not, in 2024 we face a binary choice: democracy or tyranny, liberty or subjugation, dignity or degradation, equality or injustice, order or chaos.
Threatening to support depravity as a pressure tactic is political idiocy on the part of anyone who says they are committed to the ideals the protesters claim they are.
This time the choices include one that leads to the obliteration of the democratic constitutional republic we have lived in all our lives and its replacement with a theocratic fascist dictatorship that guarantees the people of the planet Earth will not be able to successfully confront and deal with an existential crisis that doesn’t listen to arguments or philosophies of government, religion or society. That existential crisis is climate change, which just might lead to the extinction of life on Earth as we have known it, certainly of our species.
The truth is that these protests have become an in-kind contribution to Trump’s campaign. They will not save one single life in Gaza.
They will insure that you get exactly what you say you do not want.
Yesterday, Representative Virginia Foxx - a real “piece of work” far right Republican fron North Carolina - announced that the Congressional antisemitism investigation will expand into a Congress-wide crackdown on colleges. Speaking at a press conference, she had a clear message for “mealy-mouthed, spineless college leaders. Congress will not tolerate your dereliction of duty to your Jewish students. American universities are officially put on notice that we have come to take our universities back.”
I’ve seen this happen before. Will Bunch of the Philadelphia Inquirer noted that right-wing politicians jumped on the Kent State shootings of May 1970 to defund colleges and universities, while a “law and order” backlash helped give Republican president Richard M. Nixon a landslide reelection in 1972. Basically, I was stupid enough to vote for the bastard twice, even though in 1972 I did go to the polling place and cast a ballot for McGovern.
Right now, the GOP and certain conservative Democrats (find them under “the usual suspects”) have gotten a vote in the House on a bill to define anti-Semitism so that government agencies can apply that definition to political activities by American citizens exercising their First Amendment rights, which will allow punitive measures to be taken against those who are found to have engaged in “anti-Semitism” as defined in the bill.
The definition of anti-Semitism they intend to use includes political criticism of the government of Israel.
In other words, every post I have made here since October 7 on the Gaza crisis, and nearly every comment made by you, the subscribers to That’s Another Fine Mess, in which the Netaqnyahu government was criticized, could be considered “anti-Semitism” under this law (if it is passed as is in the Senate, which is likely). I am sure that Substack would enforce such judgement if a complaint was made about any posts or comments here or on any other page, which would mean the end of That’s Another Fine Mess or any other blog reported for similar posts.
This is merely the most certain of the negative events that are likely to happen as the result of actions taken by a bunch of over-educated, under-intelligent student “revolutionaries,” who congratulate themselves on their high political awareness and committment to “justice” for the oppressed.
The stakes this time are far higher than they were when we “political purists” fucked up in 1968.
[TCinLA]
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Nice Excuse, Still Murder
So. Recently I came across a David Apologist post and while I was tempted to post on there... honestly? I didn't feel like the argument. However, I still felt the need to comment and... well, honestly, for all that David is less disliked these days due to his presence in LiS2, he is still a horrible character and a wretched stepfather.
The general gist of the post in question was that it's clear that David loves Chloe because he is in tears after murdering Mark Jefferson (while Jefferson was bound and unconscious). However, like a number of elements in LiS, this does not negate the horrible things that David did during the game.
Essentially, David Madsen was as much of a control freak as Mark Jefferson and he used his own power over the student body of Blackwell Academy to terrorize students. For instance, he harasses Max Caulfield for being tardy in leaving the girls' bathroom. Now let's assume for a moment that there was a legitimate fire alarm - a test or a fire or something. And Max Caulfield was on the toilet mid-usage. Now, guys at a urinal might be able to whip it back in their pants without much issue, but girls have a few more steps involved. If any student had been, for instance, taking a dump? Then you still try to wipe clean quickly. That can take a minute.
Max was out of the bathroom likely within a minute of the alarm going off. I mean, let's look at the literal script of the scene:
David: Hey, do you hear that fire alarm? That means you should be outside.
Max: I had to use the bathroom...
David: Girls always use that excuse.
Max: Excuse for what?
David: For whatever you're up to. Your face is covered in guilt.
You have a student saying "I had to use the bathroom" who had just left said bathroom within a minute of the alarm going off. It is logical that she was doing just as she said: using the bathroom. Why does he go off on her? Because he is bullying her. And yes, he was bullying her as we see in the next scene with David:
David: ...so don't think I'm blind! I see everything here at Blackwell! Do you understand what I'm saying?
Kate: No, and leave me alone!
(and if Max doesn't intervene)
David: ...you can't fool me. I know everything about this school. I cover the waterfront. So you better figure out what side you're on...
Kate: Please, leave me alone!
With intervention you get this:
Max: Hey, why don't you leave her alone?
David: Excuse us, this is official campus business—
Max: Excuse me, you shouldn't be yelling at students. Or bullying them.
David: Hey, hey, nobody is bullying anybody. I'm doing my job.
Max: No, you're not.
David: You're part of the problem, missy. I will remember this conversation.
Max out-and-out states he's bullying Kate and she would know. She was being bullied by him just a little bit earlier.
This is how he acts within the first two instances of his being in the game. Our third encounter, if you manage to get Max to hide in the closet then we get to see him out-and-out smack Chloe for the crime of instigating him. And what does he say when he hits her?
David: Chloe, I'm sorry. I care about your mother and… You just keep pushing me
And if Max was not hiding in the closet and refused to take the blame for Chloe's pot?
Max: No way. It's not mine.
David: Of course not. I'm sure Chloe gets all the best shit, right? I bet she gave you "good friend" rates...
Chloe: Why don't you get off my crack? Stop taking your war rage out on high school girls.
David: You haven't seen rage, you little—
Chloe: Fuck you, pig.
David slaps Chloe.
David: I... Listen, you asked for that. You know exactly what you're doing.
Not only does he refuse to believe Max that she's not selling pot to Chloe, he says she asked for it. She said "fuck you, pig" and was smacked. Oh, this girl shorter than him and who, if wearing a soaking wet winter coat would still be fifty pounds lighter than him, was scary and threatening him by calling him out for "taking your war rage out on high school girls."
What's more, Joyce is more than ready to trot out little lines to make it seem like Chloe's to blame, whether or not Max lets David smack Chloe around:
Joyce: But Chloe does push David and it's not fair. He paid his dues in a war. He does care about her, along with all the students at Blackwell.
Nathan cried on the phone calling Max and begging for forgiveness (rather than, oh, I don't know, calling the cops and saying "Mark Jefferson is trying to murder me"?) and guys gush about this poor baby who should be forgiven for all his crimes because he's ill. David smacks Chloe and it's Chloe's fault... and David cries when he learns the girl he was abusing is beyond his control. So all is forgiven.
(Honestly, and I've said this more than once, I cannot see Chloe forgiving David after three years. I'm not sure if she'd forgive him after six years, and may very well want to piss on his grave if he died thirty years after the Storm. The man made her life a living hell for nearly five years after William's death (and don't forget, he started flirting with Joyce (to the point he kept the receipt from his first meal at Two Whales Diner when he was waited on by Joyce and used that date for a password combination) within two months of William's death - and sure, that's on Joyce more than David but he still rushed into a marriage with her before Chloe turned 16 and that is on him). He was abusive and horrible and I'm fairly certain that Chloe went on a downward spiral in school and in life partly because he was harassing her and she had no safe place to stay away from him.)
So... no. He's no hero. The only reason the girls turn to him for help is because Max didn't know who else she could trust - because David might have been an abusive asshole, but he was not in the Prescott pocket and he was trying to figure out what Jefferson and Nathan were up to. Better the enemy you know than the enemies you don't know.
The irony is that there are people who continue to hate on Chloe Price and consider her irredeemable because "she's a bitch" and "she's manipulative." The girl who the day after Kate Marsh was drugged was also drugged and came to in Nathan's dorm room, an incident by which Max finds photographic evidence collaborating, the girl who was dosed by a date-rape drug and has no knowledge if she was raped or not, but was fucked up by that drug, is an irredeemable monster, but the man we can witness abusing her is innocent of malice because Chloe was mean to him.
Nice excuse. Still abuse. Hell it was assault and battery against an adult. Max was a witness, if she didn't Rewind, they could have gotten David thrown in jail. And given that Joyce is quick to toss out defenses to David's actions, it's most likely not the first time even if the cops ignored priors due to Joyce's being their favorite waitress.
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Happy...whatever
Okay, I'm back on my nonsense so here's a super long (11k) story in my Hellraiser domestic fluff series.
CW: Cyber stalking, physical stalking, thoughts of violence, kidnapping, profanity, threats of torture, threats in general, and Trevor Gooden.
@tenebrare was a huge help and I couldn't have gotten this done without them.
@angelqueen13art @idreamtofmanderleyagain Hope you enjoy this.
Kirsty’s Abhorrent Admirers
When Kirsty announced her plans to return to college, Tiffany and Elliot had been one hundred percent happy and supportive. Kirsty had a quick and clever mind and it was wasteful for her to languish indoors when there was a world of opportunities for her.
Her tuition was paid for by a trust fund created by her parents after she was born, so there would be no financial burden and after some documents prepared by legitimate medical professionals, Kirsty’s time away could be explained as a Gap Year.
Kirsty was pursuing a career in business, very useful for handling her own finances as well as clients looking for stable investments. It was all very wordy and technical and Elliot renewed his efforts to learn more about the modern world. The Cenobites kept up with technological advances but contemporary business practices, much like social norms, were somewhat unexplored as they were deemed unimportant for their work.
Tiffany was proud and pleased. She was happy that Kirsty was learning new things and moving on from the Channard Institute, just like she was. They joked about being “study buddies” and that Tiffany should visit the campus and see if she’d like to attend Kirsty’s university as well someday.
Elliot tried not to let his personal feelings brought on by old doubts affect Kirsty’s enthusiasm. True, not many women went to university in his day but he could see that attitude was foolish and outdated. There were times he truly loathed regaining his memory; he’d always thought of himself as progressive; he’d even supported women’s suffrage. But his old beliefs were now so old-fashioned. He knew neither young woman needed him as a protector and provider, but he still longed to take care of them as they took care of him. He missed the days when it was just the three of them and he didn’t have to share either girl with the outside world.
You think like an old man, Spencer. Kirsty would laugh if she knew what you were thinking and Tiffany would be ashamed.
So he did what he thought was best; suppress any misgivings he had and actively encourage and assist her in every way he could. He was learning more about computers and was accumulating as much knowledge as he could hold. They were both progressing well in their self-defense lessons and would soon be ready for weapons.He could also listen to her talk about her professors, tell her how proud they were of her, and give her the emotional support she needed.
Everything was wonderful for the first few weeks. Then problems arose when Tiffany and Elliot noticed Kirsty was garnering loads of…admirers.
Men, for the most part. Lots of them.
At first they were just morbidly curious about the young woman who survived not only a massacre committed by family members but a massacre committed by an insane psychiatrist trusted to treat her survivor’s guilt and trauma. Most of them had buggered off when she refused to answer their questions . There was also the icy glare given to them by Tiffany and Elliot when they’d dropped by the School of Business to take Kirsty to lunch.
Had Kirsty been interested, she had a wide variety to choose from. There was a junior professor, a teaching assistant, an assistant at the university library, and scores of her fellow students.
The junior professor tried to impress her with philosophy. The TA wrote her poetry. The lad from the library always volunteered to help with research materials. They and Kirsty’s fellow students were mostly harmless. Some were almost eligible and had many traits in their favor, such as intelligence or a good position. He didn’t consider any of them worthy but had to concede it was her decision.
Fortunately, Kirsty didn’t seem too interested. She didn’t think dating a professor was a good idea, even if he wasn’t one of hers. Getting involved with a teaching assistant could invite accusations of cheating or getting the answer sheet early. The library assistant was nice and funny but a girl named Megan in her Economics class had eyes on him and Kirsty refused to pursue him, citing, “Sisters over Misters.” Tiffany explained to Elliot that it was against the Girl Code of Ethics to pursue a man you knew a friend, or at least a friendly acquaintance, liked.
Then, there was Trevor.
Elliot had taken an instant dislike to him. The man wasn’t unattractive and had blue eyes that seemed to draw female attention. His smile was practiced and his teeth were so perfect Elliot wanted to ram them down the other man’s throat in the hope they would be shat out.
Ahem
That was an unkind thought and though he had many opinions on the matter, only Kirsty was allowed to decide who could court her, even if he were a smug little sod who kept trying to find excuses to touch Kirsty. One time he rubbed his thumb across hers while handing her something. Another time he touched her hair by claiming a leaf had flown into her curls. He would also try to sit beside Kirsty, but Kirsty thwarted him by having her “girl squad”, other female students she was starting to become friends with, occupy any seat near her. Tiffany and Elliot filled this role whenever they visited or went out with Kirsty’s peer group.
If Trevor noticed Kirsty’s less than enthusiastic response to his pursuit, it didn’t stop him from trying to ask her out or suggesting she join a “group chat” to discuss assignments. Any time his eyes met Elliot’s he would grin smugly as if he’d already won Kirsty over. Elliot had also heard himself referred to as “Kirsty’s Dad” or how glad he was that “older people were so interested in education.”
He knew he was twelve years older than Kirsty, hardly an insurmountable age difference, and she’d been an adult when they met. She seemed fond of him now that she’d forgiven him for trying to kill her or condemn her to eternal torture. There was something to be said for experience and he was a man who had been educated at the finest military academy in Britain, so he was closer to being Kirsty Cotton’s equal than some uncouth sod who leered at her with all the subtlety of a baboon.
Sigh.
He would keep his opinions about Trevor to himself until and unless Kirsty asked him directly.
Elliot refused to lower himself by replying to Trevor’s barbs. He would trust Kirsty to make her own decisions and protect herself when he couldn’t be with her. He handed Kirsty her lunch and asked for her input about supper. He was always rewarded with a kiss on the cheek and a “see you at home, Dear” before he and Tiffany left via public transportation. He did his best not to look smug that Kirsty would rather kiss him and not Trevor. Some of Kirsty’s peers referred to him as Kirsty’s house husband and Tiffany was laughing so hard she could barely explain.
“It’s um…a reversal of gender roles, you know?” she managed at last while looking over her homework. “Kirsty goes out, earns the money and you stay home and take care of the house.” Before he could protest she added. “There’s not much social stigma for stay at home dads or husbands any more, not that a guy who used to wear a skirt cares much about social norms.” She winked at him. “Besides, everyone can tell she likes you a lot more than Trevor. Trevor is a douche canoe who gives off creeper vibes. You’re family.”
It never failed to warm him when Tiffany or Kirsty called him family. He missed feeling as if he belonged somewhere or to someone. He’d worked along his Order for decades. He was glad to have regained his independence but he was sorry that they hadn’t survived along with him. They had been good soldiers and he missed their loyalty and company.
Elliot did his best to take Tiffany’s words to heart but the fact Trevor could be around Kirsty for hours on end, away from her family, where he had a chance to charm her or wear her down until she agreed to “give him a chance” and date him made Elliot uneasy.
He doubted that Trevor had good intentions towards Kirsty. Perhaps he saw her as a conquest and would discard her once he’d had sex with her. Maybe he wanted her because he couldn’t have her and enjoyed the challenge. Then again, and to Elliot’s mind this was the most likely motive: money. Kirsty didn’t flaunt her wealth or act haughty but the university she attended was not inexpensive and many of her classmates worked for their tuition or had a collection of scholarships, grants, and loans.
Kirsty did not. Elliot once heard Trevor whisper that Kirsty “must be a trust fund baby” and bristled on her behalf, reminding himself that stomping people to death was illegal. Kirsty was leagues above the women of his class in his youth; she would never be content with a life of leisure, a pretty doll on a man’s arm. She wanted to create her own destiny and decide her future for herself. It was admirable and made him respect her even more.
Their days as a small but ideal family might have continued in a state of equilibrium for years on end. Kirsty showed no preference for any of the men who pursued her, even if one of her friends referred to the young woman’s admirers as a “reverse harem.”
Then the texts started.
Most of them were innocuous. Compliments, snippets of poetry, even a few photos of Kirsty sitting in class or laughing with her new friends. Clearly this was someone who knew her from university.
It bothered him more that he wanted to admit that some unknown git was upsetting Kirsty and following her. It enraged him that someone thought that Kirsty, his Kirsty, belonged to them, as if her thoughts and feelings didn’t matter. He found himself reaching for tools that no longer hung at his waist. No matter. The army taught him how to kill and there were other techniques he had perfected as a Cenobite.
Elliot and Tiffany had just arrived to escort Kirsty to their usual “Friday Night Family Dinner” at a revolving series of restaurants when Kirsty’s text alert went off.
She pulled out her phone, groaned, and then rolled her eyes. “Not this shit again,” she sounded annoyed.
“Is it the return of Captain Douchebag?” Tiffany asked.
The number the person used always came up as “Unknown” so Tiffany had started calling him “Captain Douchebag”, a name no doubt thought up by Callie, who had started referring to her ex-beau by that moniker. It was oddly appropriate for the person bothering Kirsty.
“Yep.” Kirsty read the message aloud.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time
Kirsty snorted. “Auden. At least the douche is avoiding the worst of cliche love poems, like Shakespear’s sonnets or ‘How Do I Love Thee?’ So he’s at least slightly original.”
“What makes you so sure it’s a guy?” one of Kirsty’s male classmates asked. Elliot was surprised that it wasn’t Trevor. The younger man seemed determined to insert himself in every conversation as much as he seemed to want to insert himself…no that was vulgar.
“I can’t see a girl thinking poetry would work on me. He’s clearly trying to be aloof and mysterious but he’s coming off as a stalker.”
The group laughed and Trevor of all people tried to be the concerned voice of reason.
“No offense, Kirsty, but aren’t you taking this guy…or girl…or nonbinary a little lightly?” Trevor frowned. “They could be dangerous. I mean…” he shrugged, “they could follow you home and stake out your house…follow you to class…attack you”
Kirsty didn’t scoff or acknowledge his concern. “He’s hiding behind a screen and using an unknown number. I keep blocking him but he texts me again from a new number. Probably a coward.” She ran her thumbs over her phone then grinned in satisfaction. “There! Blocked again! That should give us time to eat in peace.” She stood up, then grabbed Tiffany’s then Elliot’s hands and pulled them to their feet. She smiled at the group but did address Trevor. “I’m never alone. I have people watching my back.”
“I for one, would feel a great swell of pity for anyone who tried to harm Kirsty,” Elliot’s cool blue eyes swept over Kirsty’s peers and a few of them shivered. “But not for very long.”
The three of them walked arm in arm as they decided on a Greek restaurant for dinner.
*****
“You know, next semester I might see how many classes I can take online,” Kirsty was saying as she poured Elliot a glass of ouzo.
Elliot gave her a nod of thanks and took a cautious sip before setting down his glass. “Why is that?” I thought you were doing well, making friends…”
The server placed down a plate of stuffed grape leaves and gave them all a professional smile. His eyes might have lingered on Kirsty but she didn’t seem to notice. Tiffany dived in and grabbed four before anyone else.
Kirsty nodded. “Yeah. I’ve met some pretty cool people. There’s all sorts of campus activities…even support groups for trauma survivors.”
Elliot cleared his throat, then tried the ouzo again. The black licorice flavor was a bit cloying and the subject made him uncomfortable.
Tiffany caught his eye, looking sympathetic. “That’s a good thing. You know…for your dad, or Channard.”
Kirsty frowned as she put some dolomedes on a small plate and passed them to Elliot. “Well, I’d have to talk about the circumstances surrounding Dad’s death and we technically are still under a gag order pending the lawsuit with Channard’s estate. I couldn’t say much without getting into legal trouble or ending up in another asylum.” She laughed and there was a tinge of bitterness in it.
“Tiffany was telling me about a phone app that matches you with a therapist and you can remain anonymous,” Elliot suggested.
Kirsty smiled at him and continued. “Good idea. Thanks, El.” Returned to her previous subject. “Don’t get me wrong. There’s some great people in my classes.” She sighed. “But they’re all…” she gestured with her hands. “…normies, y’know?” She looked from Elliot to Tiffany. They looked back at her. Tiffany nodded in understanding while the term confused Elliot but he was still attentive.
Kirsty explained. “Their lives are so normal and mundane. They don’t know what it’s like to lose a family. They have their own struggles with money but no huge tragedies. I can’t really relate to them. All they want to do is…” she frowned as she tried to think of how to phrase her thoughts. “Go out and drink and party all weekend. Go to class on Monday hungover, swear they’ll never do it again. Then they do it again the next Friday. They laugh at me for studying and tell me “you only live once!”
There was a part of Elliot that was jumping up and down. He knew he was being selfish but he didn’t want to share Kirsty or Tiffany with the outside world. He knew it was an unhealthy attitude; that most humans were social creatures and needed the company of other people. That didn’t stop him from wanting to wrap his girls in cotton and protect them from the outside world.
“Then there’s all the attention, especially male,” Kirsty rolled her eyes and looked at Tiffany, who also rolled hers.
Elliot had the feeling he was about to step on treacherous ground. He wanted to protect her but he also knew he had no right to forbid her from anything. “You’re an attractive young woman so of course people are going to notice you.” He tried to be tactful. “Still, the young men around you seem a bit…intrusive.”
“And touchy-feely,” Tiffany added.
Elliot shook his head in disapproval. “They find any excuse to approach you, touch you. Intrude on your time. I know it isn’t my place but…” he placed his hands on the table. “Why do modern men find it so difficult to believe you’re not flattered by their attention?”
“Because they weren’t taught manners,” Tiffany spoke up before Kirsty could but the older woman nodded. “They don’t take no as ‘I’m not interested’. They take no as ‘Try again later,’ “ She grinned at Elliot. “Maybe you could do a TED talk for modern guys or something.”
“Or something,” Elliot agreed. He turned back to Kirsty. “It’s your decision of course,” he longed to make the decision for her, “and you know Tiffany and I will support you either way.”
Kirsty beamed at him and he pretended not to notice that her eyes were tearing up a bit. “Thanks, El,” she leaned forward and took his and Tiffany’s hands in hers. “It means a lot to me that after dealing with classes and weirdos over text that I can come home to you guys.” She squeezed their hands. “You understand me.”
Tiffany nodded, also getting emotional. “Same.”
Elliot raised their hands to his lips and kissed their knuckles. “You are two of the most amazing people I have met in decades,” he told them. He looked at both of them and smiled. “I’m honored you consider me family.”
None of them spoke for a few minutes as they basked in comfortable silence with people who understood them. Elliot was hesitant to say more and hoped his eyes did all the talking for him. He was grateful to have their trust and hoped, in a way, he also had their love. He knew he loved them but it was a nebulous sort of love. Tiffany was the daughter he never had but he hesitated to define his feelings for Kirsty. He wasn’t sure how she felt about him. Could she separate the nightmare creature he had been from the man he was now? He told himself to be patient, to let her come to him.
Then she would smile or laugh at him and tease him and he felt his resolve weaken. He also found it difficult to separate the worthy opponent from the young woman before him. She’d been his adversary. Now she was his family. It was still jarring for him.
Kirsty shook off whatever emotion she was feeling and looked at the menu. “Okay, okay, enough of me being sappy. This isn’t the Hallmark Channel. Who wants to try the souvlaki with me?”
*****
Elliot’s phone buzzed in his pocket as he perused the used book store near the mall. It was a tiny little place in a shopping plaza next door to a cafe. The store was old but clean and he had a delightful conversation with the clerk about the debt modern science fiction writers owed to Mary Shelley, H.G. Wells and Jules Verne. He excused himself, paid for his items, and exited the store to answer the call.
“Hallo, this is Spencer. Is this Tiffany or Kirsty?”
None of the people he dallied with had his number. He didn’t give it out. If they wanted to see him during the week they usually rapped on the door while the girls were away and made an appointment. He wondered if Kirsty was ill or if Tiffany had forgotten her lunch again.
“Hello, Darling.”
He paused. He recognized the voice as Kirsty but she sounded strange. Her tone was too bright and filled with syrupy affection. Plus, she referred to him as “darling”. Kirsty never addressed him with any endearments. She usually called him Elliot, Elli, Spencer, or if she was annoyed or trying to tease him, Captain Spencer.
The fine hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Kirsty was either in danger or in a situation where she felt uneasy. “Are you being followed? Can anyone hear you?”
“How did you know? I swear you have to be psychic!”
He assumed she was answering yes to both of her questions. “Where are you? Are you safe?”
“I just got out of class and had to call you. I was going to head home but I’d much rather meet you somewhere.”
Someone was following her and she didn’t want to lead them home. They were close enough to hear her conversation so she was speaking to him in code.
Anyone who didn’t know her well would miss the slight tremor in her voice, the way it was pitched higher than normal.
Kirsty Cotton, the young woman who’d escaped his Order twice, was afraid.
Elliot’s concern for her melted into anger. His skin felt hot and his blood roared in his ears. He wanted to slice this person’s stomach open and strangle them with their own intestines. He wanted to crack their skull open and feed them their own brain. He wanted-
Kirsty’s voice cut through the haze of anger surrounding him. “I really need to see you. Where should I meet you?”
He looked around. “I’m near the shopping mall. It’s rather crowded today so it’ll be easy to give someone the slip. Don’t take any side streets. You could get lost in a cul-de-sac. Take the most public roads you can. I’ll meet you near the soft pretzel place you like. Park on the third level of the parking garage. It’s the most well-lit. If nothing else we can take the bus home and pick up your car later. Just don’t leave anything inside and we’ll let security know why it’s there. Be safe, Kirsty.”
“I will, Darling. See you soon.”
*****
Kirsty met him fifteen minutes later. She must have sped all the way there but it was hardly the time to lecture her about traffic laws. She surprised him by wrapping her arms around him as if he’d disappear if she let go. Elliot stiffened at first then allowed himself to relax and hold her. He rubbed her back in what he hoped was a comforting manner.
Eventually he reluctantly released her and stepped back. She stopped hugging him but still held his hand. Her eyes were huge, pupils dilated, and tinged with red. He imagined she either cried on the way over or it was a very near miss.
“Is he or she still following you?” he asked and then inwardly cringed. That was hardly a diplomatic thing to ask but he felt it was important to know.
She looked unsure. “I don’t know. I kept making weird turns to make it harder for him to follow me but he might have put a tracker on my car.”
Him. So it was a man, one of the idiots from class or a professor who thought they were entitled to her time and attention. Disgusting. In his day women might have had to worry about being accosted by a stranger on the Tube but any man of honor knew to take his defeat and withdraw once being rejected. Really, these modern men continued to disappoint him.
“We’ll thoroughly search your car once we’re safely home.” Really, this was a world that sent people to orbit the earth and cure diseases yet used this wonderful technology to more efficiently stalk a woman who was clearly uninterested.
Kirsty continued to look at him. Her hand trembled, her lips wobbled and he dearly wanted to put her in his pocket and keep her safe. That, or bash the idiot’s brains in. But that response might get him arrested. And probably banned from the mall. He looked around.
“I believe near the west end of the mall is a store that recently went out of business. If I recall correctly there was a bench in front of the store where we could sit and talk.”
She nodded in agreement, then frowned. “Isn’t that a little isolated?”
He shook his head. “Usually, yes, but it’s also near the security office. We should be all right.”
*****
They made their way to the abandoned store, Kirsty holding his hand the whole way. It bothered him that this brave, confident girl was reduced to clinging to him due to fear. He imagined it had reminded her of running from her disgusting uncle, or perhaps his Cenobite persona. He selfishly hoped it was the former.
After they had sat down he turned to her and asked, “Would you like to tell me what happened? You can take your time of course.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when she wrapped herself around him and began to weep, shoulders shaking as she sobbed.
His neck felt wet and he assumed she must be crying. It shamed him to admit it but he enjoyed the feeling of her arms around him. He rubbed her back and let her cry, occasionally murmuring, “it’s all right. Let it all out. I’ve got you.”
After five minutes she let go of him and he was finally able to reach into a pocket and pull out a handkerchief. She thanked him and wiped her face. He kept an arm gently draped across her shoulders and she leaned against him.
His conscience pricked him and he wondered if he were somehow taking advantage of the situation. “Would you like to talk about it? Or if you prefer, we can go home and you can speak to Tiffany if you’d be more comfortable talking to a fellow lady…”
Kirsty shook her head and managed the tiniest of smiles. “It’s okay. I trust you.”
He felt warmed by her belief in him once again. “Whenever you’re ready.”
She took several deep breaths to calm herself and then began. “Well, I started this yoga class before lunch. You know, with Parvati and Ilsa? Well, I was taking a shower and I thought I heard a man’s voice.”
He ignored the shower and focused on her voice. Elliot swallowed his anger and asked, “a custodian, perhaps?”
She frowned and leaned away slightly. “I thought so too at first but the custodian for the women’s locker room during the day is a woman. A man only cleans it when the college closes down at night.”
Elliot nodded to show he was still listening and she continued.
“I dressed as fast as I could and walked near the exit with my keys sticking up between my fingers. I figured if someone tried to attack me I could jab them with my keys.”
He dipped his head in approval. “A sensible precaution. Well done.”
“Well, then I heard women’s voices. They were probably wondering what the guy was doing there and he left. They saw me and,” Kirsty took another deep breath, “and said the guy was probably a pervert and it was dangerous to be alone, so they walked me to the cafeteria and we had lunch.”
“Very clever, all of you,” he approved.
She just shrugged. “Class was fine and I’d almost forgotten about the guy until I was leaving class. The business building is pretty old and near the back of campus. There’s this covered sideway which has hedges on both sides. It’s pretty, but-”
“Isolated,” he finished.
Elliot knew she could protect herself. She was clever and brave and a fierce fighter. She was learning hand to hand combat with ease but had her weaknesses like everyone else. He was beginning to wonder if she needed a bodyguard; the thought that she was followed, even to the women’s changing room worried him. He wondered if she would allow him to accompany her to class. If not him perhaps they should consider hiring a professional. Better safe than dead.
Kirsty rubbed the back of her neck and gave him a rueful smile. “Yeah. You know how the hairs on your neck stand up when you’re scared or think you’re in danger?” He nodded and she nodded back. “So that happened. I could hear and feel someone following me. I didn’t want to risk looking back to see them.” She gestured with her hands. “I didn’t want to walk faster and let them know I knew they were there so I pulled out my phone and called you. I figured you could come meet me or I could meet you and if they tried anything there would be a phone record.”
She was so very very clever. He couldn’t help but admire that about her, even if it had been frustrating for him when he was the Pontifex Inferi.
He spoke softly and gently to her, afraid he might spook her. “Forgive me for saying this but…this incident…it must have felt like…”
Kirsty pulled him close and put her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were dark and haunted. “Yeah, I know. It felt just like when Frank was wearing Daddy’s skin and hunting me through the house. I thought I was gonna die, just like back then.”
Even though it hadn’t been his intention, he was glad the arrival of himself and his Order had spared her something vile. “I’m sorry, Kirsty.”
It wasn’t his fault Frank was such an unrepentant bastard but he was still furious at the man for attempting to subject Kirsty to his perverse lust. He too was a lustful creature, in life and in service to Leviathan but the thought of coercion disgusted him. Now another man was making Kirsty feel unsafe and he burned with the desire to inflict any and all tortures he could imagine upon the filthy creature.
Kirsty gave him another side hug and looked up at him. “Crying makes me thirsty.” She managed a smile and they both pretended it was real. “How about a latte at Nova Novak's?”
*****
They ended up having not just lattes but elderberry scones as well. They chatted about nothing about consequence and he even succeeded in making her laugh. She was beginning to relax when she stiffened and sat up straight, looking off into the distance.
“Don’t look at him directly,” Kirsty warned him, “but I think I just saw Trevor.”
“Does he work here?”
Kirsty shrugged. “Nah. Trevor thinks he’s too bougie to work at a mere mall. His friend Brent works at a phone kiosk.”
Elliot mentally ran through all the information she had given him about Trevor. Pompous ass, entitled git, yes…opinionated prat with unknown designs on Kirsty.
Wait.
“Didn’t you say someone kept texting you from different burner phones?” he asked her. He tried to both look at and not look at Trevor.
Kirsty stopped trying to observe Trevor with her makeup mirror and stared at Elliot, wide-eyed. “Having a friend who works for a phone carrier would make it easy to get a new phone. He could just trade in an old phone for a new one.”
It was both clever and disgusting. If he paid cash for each phone it would make them hard to trace and his accomplice could help him dispose of old phones by recycling them. Many carriers had a program where people could donate old phones. Even if a phone could be traced, it could not be traced back to Trevor.
“Interesting,” he mused aloud, “and if we hadn’t just coincidentally been here today, we might not have known for weeks or months.”
There was a clatter as Kirsty rose to feet so fast she made her chair wobble. Elliot could see her intent; she was about to go to the phone kiosk and confront Trevor publicly, perhaps even attack him. He could not let that happen.
“Kirsty, don’t!” he firmly grabbed her hand and shook his head at her once he saw he had her attention. He softened his voice. “Don’t. Please don’t. Not here.”
“Why-” her first impulse was to dash off and take control of the situation and force Trevor to confess. Then she realized people were watching and she sat back down, eyes narrowed. She was tempted to tell him to fuck off but stopped herself. Elliot might have some good advice for her so she decided to hear him out. She lowered her voice and asked through gritted teeth. “Why the hell not?”
Kirsty was brave, clever and resourceful. She was good at improvising on the spot but she was also impulsive and that got her into trouble. He wished he still had his chains and a convenient place to hide bodies. Trevor would be strung up for all to see and Elliot would have made a necklace out of his ears for Tiffany and his hide would be boots for Kirsty. Now that he was human and only had human means of punishment he would have to work within the law. To do otherwise could risk his family.
He also lowered his voice. “Because as enjoyable as it would be to confront him or attack him, this is neither the time nor the place. You have scores of witnesses and you can almost be assured there would be video evidence online. Plus, someone would call security and you could be arrested. That would not be good for your academic career.”
Elliot gave in to the urge to grab her hand. “I can understand your desire for revenge. I would feel the same way if someone was stalking me for whatever reason.” He wasn’t quite pleading with her. “But we must be cleverer than Trevor. Document everything. Someone with his arrogance would cock it up sooner or later and expose himself publicly.”
Kirsty bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Expose himself, huh?”
He realized what he’d said and flushed. “Not remotely what I meant.” He offered her his hand and helped her to her feet. “We’ll need a plan and we’ll make one together. That way we can figure out how to make Trevor incriminate himself.”
*****
The next two weeks were relatively peaceful. Aside from a few “Who the hell were you talking to?”! texts Kirsty’s “mysterious stalker” more or less left her alone. Between Elliot, Tiffany, a temporary bodyguard named Beatrix, and Kirsty’s female classmates, she was never alone. She was starting to relax and enjoy her education again. By contrast, Trevor looked increasingly frustrated every time Elliot caught a glimpse of him. He supposed Trevor’s grand plan was failing spectacularly. Amateur. Elliot had cut his teeth on books by Tacticus and Sun Tzu. Some plebeian with a mid tier education didn’t stand a chance.
Kirsty’s college friends thought she was being harassed by an abusive ex and thus did everything in their power to keep her safe. They also kept a close eye on anyone trying to interact with Kirsty and it helped Elliot’s cause to have a dozen other eyes helping with surveillance.
Tiffany had come with Elliot to accompany Kirsty home. Kirsty’s friend Ilsa had spotted the girl and smiled at her, sliding across the bench to make room for Tiffany and Elliot. “Hey, sis!” She addressed Tiffany. She looked Elliot over and winked. “Hey, zaddy.”
“Er…hello, Ilsa,” he smiled at her. Ilsa blushed.
Trevor looked annoyed, as he always did when any of the women in their circle showed him any positive attention. “Please. Like he knows what it means.”
Tiffany answered before Kirsty or Elliot could. “Yes he does. I’ve been tutoring him in Gen Z.” She gave him a side hug. “He’s such a fast learner.”
Elliot patted her shoulder. “Thank you for educating an old man such as myself, poppet.” He smiled and she smiled back. “I quite literally learn something new every day.”
Trevor once again interrupted a conversation that didn’t need his input. “Is one of those things how to be a pedophile?”
Kirsty and Tiffany glared at Trevor. Most of the people at the table stopped talking and glared at Trevor. He found himself greatly outnumbered and instead of apologizing and politely withdrawing he continued to speak.
“Oh, come on!” he went on. He gestured at Kirsty. “She’s barely old enough to drink!” He then pointed at Tiffany, who stared at him in shock. “And she’s only fourteen! And he lives with both of them!”
“And what’s your point?” Everyone looked at Parvati, who rarely spoke up. She looked a little self-conscious but continued. “He’s Tiffany’s family. Kirsty told us all he’s her only living family. I doubt they share a room.”
“We don’t even share a bathroom!” Kirsty was quick to defend Elliot, who had decided the wisest thing to do was keep his mouth shut and let the women in his life talk. He felt a great sense of pride and gratitude that he didn’t have to ask the ladies in his life to defend him, they did it on their own.
“Everyone has their own bathroom. And their own room.” She looked Trevor over and didn’t even try to hide her contempt for him. She decided to publicly embarrass him, just as he was trying to do to Elliot. “Really, what’s your problem with Elliot? Why are you starting shit when he’s never done anything to you?” She scoffed. “What, are you jealous you’re not living with a fourteen year old?”
Even the other guys in the group were snickering at Trevor and he realized he wasn’t going to win over public opinion. So he decided to go on the attack.
“Unlike your roomie, Kirsty, I don’t have a taste for jailbait,” he sneered at Elliot. Goddammit, Spencer was such a cock blocker! He thwarted every attempt he made to ask Kirsty out and poisoned her mind against Trevor. Now the asshole was poisoning all his friends against him.
“So keep your creepy uncle pedo vibes to yourself, Spencer, and-”
No one knew what else he was going to say. Before he could continue (swore everyone who saw it happen) he was down on the ground with the wind knocked out of him.
Tiffany stood over him. No one remembered seeing her stand up, much less punch Trevor in the stomach. It was a very good shot and Elliot and Kirsty were secretly impressed. Shocked, but impressed.
The young blonde brandished a fist. “Come at my family again. See what happens to you.”
Before he could stand up she turned and walked towards Kirsty’s car without stopping to see if the rest of her family was following her. They scrambled to their feet and fell in step behind Tiffany. Kirsty might have accidentally on purpose stepped on Trevor’s leg. Elliot definitely gave the other man a triumphant smirk as he passed his prone form.
“That was quite a punch, Tiffany,” Elliot said as they walked to the car. “But next time, don’t tuck your thumb into your fist. You could break it.”
*****
Two days later Trevor was nowhere to be found. He’d skipped all his classes and hadn’t answered any texts. Even his best friend Brent had sent a message to the group chat asking if anyone had heard from him. No one remembered adding him but they all promised to let him know if anyone had heard from Trevor.
Elliot was blissfully unaware that Trevor was missing and would not have cared if he’d known. He’d had a “morning visit” with a neighbor, who was kind enough to drive him to the library to check out some books about automobile restoration. He then had lunch with and then “afternoon delight” with another neighbor and went home feeling quite satisfied.
He began to worry when Kirsty texted him that she’d be late and couldn’t pick up Tiffany so he would have to make sure she took the bus home.
He’d texted Tiffany to let her know and hadn’t received a reply. That surprised him. She was always on her phone and after the incident with her first date she kept it charged and they’d increased her cellular plan. They’d also installed an app that would let them, with Tiffany’s permission, track her if they hadn’t heard from her after a certain amount of time.
Had a teacher confiscated it? Tiffany had been careful not to text in class but accidents happened. It could have been damaged but if that had happened she would have texted from Callie’s phone to let them know. She had before.
This wasn’t like Tiffany and he was growing worried. Kirsty might not be his direct responsibility but Tiffany was and he decided he was going to find her.
He pulled out his own phone and activated the tracking software. It showed Tiffany’s phone was stationary, if slightly off of school grounds.
Well, he wasn’t going to sit around and worry. He was going to take action…by taking the bus down to Tiffany’s school.
*****
Tiffany had told him about a shack just off the school campus. The school had once used it as a garden shed for agriculture classes but after the school had been renovated it was discovered that the building was technically not on school grounds but on public property. The renamed “squatters shack” sat just off of the school campus and was used by the occasional homeless person but also by students and (rumored) by teachers to either get high or get laid. It was forty foot by forty foot (twelve meters by twelve meters) and quite roomy.
Her phone signal was coming from there. The front entrance faced the street but there was also a back entrance with a ramp for when the shack contained large sacks of fertilizer that needed to be removed via wheelbarrow.
Elliot listened at the door and heard two voices. One was high-pitched, the other lower and gruff. He looked around for something he could use as a weapon and found an old rake. The metal bits were rusted but the handle was made of solid wood and barely rotted. It would have to do.
The building looked old and the door was closed but he doubted it had a deadbolt. One good kick should do it.
He braced himself and kicked the door open, sending dust and splinters everywhere. His voice briefly regained the strident military cadence it once had. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
Elliot brandished the rake then stopped, blinking in shock.
This was not at all what he was expecting.
Instead of coming to rescue his teenaged ward he’d stumbled across a tall bulky man trying to hoist a familiar twit with a pulley. Under the man was a large metal tub half filled with water. Clearly some sort of water torture was the order of the day, the victim was perhaps half a meter above the water.
Trevor Gooden, looking slightly worse for wear, was tied up with and suspended by hooks from chains. Unfortunately they only pierced his clothing and not his skin. The man’s formerly expensive shirt was in tatters but the denim of his jeans was strong enough to bear the weight of the chains; otherwise Trevor would have fallen into the tub and drowned.
He brandished the rake handle at the stranger. “Let him go,” he demanded. He sighed inwardly as he prepared to save the life of someone he couldn’t stand.
The stranger looked at him. They wore what looked like a gas mask over their face, a little more modern than the ones he was used to. They wore all black, even down to their gloves and thick black wellies. The figure shook its head. “No. This worm has offended and attempted to dishonor the Sunset Queen and must be punished. He has invaded her privacy. He has harassed her. He has attempted to keep tabs on her by attaching a tracker to her vehicle.” The person’s voice sounded male, its tones reverberating throughout the small room. Trevor begged for mercy and Elliot felt confused.
“Sunset…do you mean Kirsty?” Elliot asked. The person nodded. He took a deep breath and tamped down his anger. This disgusting creature thought he had a right to Kirsty! But no, he wouldn’t stand by and let the sod die, even if he deserved it. He did not want the police poking around the house or in their lives. Again. Kirsty and Tiffany did not need their names in print or on television again, even though that Summerskill person was rather nice. “Thank you. We’ll find the tracker and remove it but you don’t have to become a murderer to protect her.” Tempting as it was in this case.
“Look, Spencer, I know we’re not friends but even you can let this freak kill me!” Trevor shouted.
Yes, Elliot could, but he wouldn’t. Not when the consequences could affect his girls.
Elliot tried to be persuasive and calm. “Kirsty would not want anyone to die, even a disgusting piece of human garbage like Trevor Gooden-”
“Hey, fuck you, Spencer.” Trevor spat out.
“Get in line, Gooden,” Elliot countered and then ignored the man in chains to address the captor. “Please. Consider how this would affect her.” Kirsty would be furious if anyone died in an ill-conceived attempt to protect her. “Let him go.”
The figure seemed to consider Elliot’s words and then nodded.“Whatever you say,” and started to release the chains.
Trevor screamed like a toddler when his face touched the water and Elliot shouted, “Not like that! Don’t drown him. Just release him. Please.”
The person shrugged again, then nudged the water tub out of the way with their foot before quickly letting the chains go. Trevor hit the ground in an undignified heap and the chains loosened enough for him to release himself. He tore the hooks out of his remaining clothes and threw them at Elliot and the figure in black. They missed of course and if the situation wasn’t so dire Elliot would have laughed.
Trevor scrambled unsteadily to his feet and reached for Elliot’s rake. “Give me that. I’m gonna ram it up this dickhead’s ass.”
Elliot held it out of his grasp and kept his tone commanding. “I think you should leave now, Trevor, while I can hold him off.” He pointed at the other man’s clothing. “You look like you lost a fight and he’s twice your size. Run while you can.”
Trevor looked like he wanted to argue but even though he was free he was still outmatched. Probably a coward as well. Gooden was the type of man who preferred to hide in the shadows to stalk women because he was powerless and cowardly. He was hardly the type to win against a larger opponent. Finally he fled, giving the chunky person a wide berth.
Once he was gone Elliot heaved a sigh and approached the person. Once they were close he reached out and booped them on the nose. “This was not the plan, poppet.”
*****
After Tiffany had returned everything she’d borrowed and they’d righted the potting shed, the two of them went to a small independent diner that served very good burgers and chips. They also had a rotating menu of original milkshake flavors and so Elliot decided to indulge in a chocolate cayenne shake while Tiffany had a white chocolate blackberry one. After the server had left their order and his number under Elliot’s glass, the two were left to talk.
Elliot brought the glass from his lips and drank from it. He never drank from a straw, too wasteful. Plus he didn’t want to look like an idiot when the liquid was too thick for the straw.
Tiffany had no problem looking like a fish on dry land and he tried not to smile at her. What she had attempted was dangerous for everyone involved.
He set down his glass and looked at Tiffany. “I had thought that we had a plan to deal with the Trevor problem.” He was trying to sound stern and angry but the faces she was making trying to suck her milkshake through a straw were funny. “We were going to act out our plan thoughtfully and only if he targeted her again.”
She nodded and looked a bit ashamed as she pushed her glass away. “What happened?” he demanded.
Tiffany sat straighter and looked him in the eye, not ashamed or regretful. Determined. “I swear I was gonna follow the plan.”
He must have looked skeptical because she hastily added, “I was! But…he went after me, Elli!”
Elliot froze and looked her over again. Her skin was pale, eyes opened wide and eyebrows raised. Her hands shook marginally and her pupils were dilated. She was afraid.
“Explain it to me,” his voice became gentle and he nearly reached out to comfort her but stopped when she flinched.
Tiffany nodded. “I wasn’t expecting him to come looking for me, but like I said, he put a tracker on Kirsty’s car.”
He frowned. “I thought your school had a security system, guards, and a closed-circuit camera system. I mean,” he shrugged, “it was highly touted in the pamphlet.”
She just shrugged. “My school is expensive but they spend money like it’s cheap. Most of the cameras are fakes just for show. Only one guard patrols the school and the other guys are sleeping or pretending to watch the cameras.”
“We’re being overcharged,” he muttered.
Tiffany continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “But everyone knows about the old potting shed and weak spots in the fence. So anyone could get on school grounds if they had any brains at all.” She took a deep breath. “And Trevor’s smart but lazy.” Maybe he found the weak spots in the fence by accident. Maybe he knew where to look.”
Elliot was beginning to wonder if Trevor had been stalking Tiffany as well, hoping the young girl was Kirsty’s weakness. He clearly needed to step up her self-defense training if people like Trevor were being so blatant. He didn’t think it was the time and clearly his poppet needed to talk.
“Anyway,” she continued, “I was on my way to the drama room because Mrs. Singer wanted me to help organize and pack up some old costumes. I heard Trevor’s voice and figured he thought he could get to Kirsty through me.”
Elliot once again felt anger and outrage sweep over him. Kirsty was a grown woman and he knew she could easily handle Trevor. Tiffany on the other hand was underaged and was ostensibly his responsibility, legally or morally. The fact Trevor had targeted his dau-his ward made him wish he’d broken the lad’s neck and damn the consequences. That tosser must be angry that Tiffany defended him and made him look like the fool he was in front of others.
“Um, Elli?”
Tiffany’s voice interrupted his murderous thoughts and he blinked, focusing on her. “Yes, poppet?”
She was pointing at his face and looked afraid. Afraid of him. “Your…eyes.”
She slid a makeup mirror across the table to him, letting go of it before his fingers could touch it. He opened it and looked at his reflection. He tried not to gasp out loud. His normally blue eyes had turned as black as they had been when he was a Cenobite.
Elliot closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to calm himself. After a few minutes he looked in the mirror again. Blue. Good.
He slid the mirror back towards Tiffany, who was also taking deep breaths to calm herself. “I…I didn’t know you could do that,” she stammered.
“Neither did I.” He thought for a moment and then said, “It must be an after effect of my…former occupation.” He looked across the table at her and said, “I’m sorry I scared you,” he apologized.
Tiffany shook her head. “I trust you.” She didn’t sound very convincing and said again, “I trust you, Elli. It was just a little bit of a shock, you know? Especially after today.”
He nodded and she continued her story. “Anyway, I heard him calling out for me. So I hid. When he was looking for me in the wardrobe trunks I doubled back around and hit him with a dressmaker’s dummy and knocked him out. Then I put him on a cart and wheeled him out to the potting shed. I figured no one would hear us out there.”
Elliot nodded in approval. He was very impressed with her improvisation. “Clever girl. Well done.”
She blushed under his praise and went on. “There were these bits of costumes from when they did a play about the Grim Reaper where the guy playing the Grim Reaper used a voice changer. There were also these construction stilts? To make the guy taller. They wanted the Grim Reaper to look seven feet tall and the guy was only five seven…”
He blinked in confusion and Tiffany could see she was losing her one person audience. “Anyway, I put on some padding and the costume pieces, grabbed a mask and the voice changer and decided I’d scare him into confessing to harassing Kirsty.” She waved her hands in a helpless gesture and sighed.
“But…” he prompted but she didn’t speak. “What happened, Tiffany?”
She spread her hands and gently slapped the table. “I don’t know! I mean, I found that tub but the pump outside wasn’t working right so I couldn’t fill it all the way. Plus,” she seemed exasperated. “He was heavier than I thought he’d be and even though I found some hooked chains and a pulley it was still really hard to pull him!” Tiffany sighed and looked at him. “I was debating whether or not I should just tie up the chains and leave him there to free himself when you showed up.”
Elliot raised his eyebrows and felt impressed despite himself. “It wasn’t a bad plan, just…went a bit mushy towards the end.” He gave her a disapproving frown. “You weren’t supposed to engage him, not alone. You should have barricaded yourself in a closet and texted me or Kirsty. We would have found you and you wouldn’t have endangered or incriminated yourself.”
Really, this could have ruined everything. Tiffany was very lucky no one saw her, even if Trevor would have gotten arrested for trespassing. They would have all been implicated; Tiffany would have been taken away, Kirsty’s past in a mental hospital would have been used against him and who knows what would have become of him. Studied, perhaps.
Still, he understood. She was afraid and panicked. He might have done the same thing at her age but it could have still gone horribly wrong. Trevor could have caught her or unmasked her and then blackmailed her into letting him get close to Kirsty. She could have died.
Tiffany could have died.
He shook his head to clear it. That was not something he wanted to contemplate and besides there was still something unsaid between him and Tiffany.
“I doubt anything would have developed between our Kirsty and Trevor,” he said after taking another sip of his milkshake. “Clearly he wasn’t her type. He was a cad who thought stalking and harassing a woman would make her turn to him for protection.”
“That’s incel behavior,” Tiffany said after taking a huge gulp of her milkshake. “Dude was not just sus, but entitled.”
“Er…yes,” Elliot understood most of that sentence. Then he said what he’d been reluctant to say, something he knew they had both been thinking. “But the next man might succeed.”
Tiffany’s face fell and he felt his heart drop into his stomach just saying the words aloud.
“Kirsty’s great,” Tiffany mumbled. “She’s pretty and smart and kind. Other guys besides Trevor have noticed and a few of them might not be creepers.”
They were silent, just sipping their beverages. Kirsty was the most “normal” in their little family. She could find proper love, build a real family or have a career she deserved. They could be left behind. Well, he would be. No sane husband would let a grown man like Elliot live under the same roof as his wife; he would be regarded as strange or competition. There was a slight chance he and Kirsty and whoever she married might be able to form a polyamorous relationship but he doubted it. Who wouldn’t want someone as wonderful as Kirsty all to themselves?
Tiffany would probably fare better. She was a sweet, clever girl and Kirsty saw her as a little sister. Elliot could easily imagine Kirsty telling anyone who wanted to marry her “love me, love my sister”. Tiffany would have a home until university at least.
Elliot and Tiffany looked at each other and shared a moment of understanding. A man from the past and a youngster from modern times shared a common fear; Kirsty leaving them behind. The family would become broken.
He impulsively grabbed Tiffany’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Kirsty would never abandon you. She loves you.”
That made her smile. “She loves you too.”
Neither of them said what they were thinking. For now.
*****
Two days later Tiffany and Elliot decided to enact their plan B. Well, it was originally Kirsty’s plan but they didn’t want her involved for now. She had a term paper due.
The first part of the plan called for Tiffany to nick Kirsty’s phone and send a message to the class group chat. She claimed she knew who the harasser was and decided to meet the person at a certain spot on campus at a certain time. She would show her evidence and give them a choice between having charges filed or leaving her alone and remaining anonymous.
Tiffany and Elliot waited on the outer edge of an unused fountain near the art building with beverages and snacks to keep them occupied as they watched for their quarry to arrive.
He did not disappoint. His predictability would be amusing in any other situation but he’d harassed their Kirsty and threatened Tiffany. Under the circumstances, they were being shockingly nice.
“Look, Kirsty, let me explain-” his whiny attempt to save himself was cut off and he glared at them. “Oh, it’s just you assholes.”
Tiffany fiddled when her phone then set it down to cover her ears. “Language!” she admonished Trevor with mock outrage. “There’s a child present!”
Elliot looked Trevor over. He was trying to be commanding and in control of the situation. Captain Spencer had survived four years of the bloodiest war fought in the past century and a half and had spent one hundred years as the high priest of Hell. Gooden’s attempts to dominate were laughable.
“Hello, Trevor,” he said after looking the other man up and down with an amused smirk on his face. “You seem none the worse for wear.” He crossed his legs and then put his hands on his knee. “You’re welcome by the way, for the rescue.”
Trevor just sneered. “A rescue I wouldn’t have needed if you hadn’t had your accomplice hit me over the head and chain me up.” He shook his head. “Where the hell did you find that guy anyway? Is he Kirsty’s ‘darling’ ?”
Elliot shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’d be much more interested-” he cut Trevor off before he could say anything. “-in what you were doing at a high school. Tiffany’s high school, to be exact,” he said with a nod at Tiffany.
“You were lucky Elliot didn’t report you and just let you go. I mean,” she shrugged, “you were trespassing on school grounds. He could have had you arrested, you know. Perverts these days.” She shook her head in mock disgust.
Trevor scoffed. “He was there too,” he jabbed a finger at Elliot. “So what does that make him?”
“Tiffany’s cousin and her guardian,” Elliot told him in a voice that could freeze boiling water. “I am both her emergency contact and an authorized pick-up person. You however are not.” He nodded at Tiffany. “She called me and asked her to pick her up because she thought someone was following her.”
Trevor opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out. He stared at the two of them who stared back. Their cold blue eyes and expressionless faces made them look very much alike at the moment and erased Trevor’s doubts. These two were definitely related. And united in their dislike of him.
He was afraid but couldn’t back down. “I’m wasting my time. You two clearly don’t know shit.”
He was about to leave, confident he had the last word when Tiffany spoke up. “Kirsty saw you.”
Trevor whipped back around. “What?!”
“She saw you at the mall buying a new phone from that friend of yours. Brent, right? According to the lady who works the pretzel stand, you’re there every few days buying a new phone.” Tiffany raised a shoulder in a half-shrug. “She thinks you’re a dumbass who keeps losing your phone. Kinda suspicious.”
Trevor stopped and looked them both over. It was clear he was wondering how much either of them knew.
Elliot didn’t want to talk to this sod any more than he had to so he delivered the coup de gras. “We removed the tracker you put on Kirsty’s vehicle, Trevor.” He tsked as Trevor’s eyes widened. “Rather careless of you to leave fingerprints all over it.”
“That wasn’t me! Brent installed the damn thing! I thought he was gonna be careful-” he broke off as he saw the triumphant grins. He glared, knowing he was caught. Then he noticed Tiffany was playing with her phone again. “Are you recording me, you little bitch?!” She put her phone down her blouse and Elliot stood in front of her to keep Trevor away from her. Trevor backed away when he saw the deadly look on Elliot’s face but kept grinning.
“That’s illegal,” Trevor thought he had leverage. “You’re not supposed to record someone without their knowledge unless you’re a cop and have a warrant.”
“No it isn’t.”
Both men turned at the sound of the new voice. Tiffany peeked out from behind Elliot to look at the new person and smiled in relief.
Kirsty approached them. Her hair was a glorious halo of curls with the afternoon sun setting them alight behind her. The trench coat she wore over a patterned vest and tailored pants flared out behind her like a cape. Elliot was sure he wasn’t the only person staring at her.
Even Trevor swallowed several times before trying to speak.” “Kirsty-” he barely croaked out her name.
Kirsty smiled back but it wasn’t friendly. It was of a mountain lion who knew she had her prey trapped. “It’s not illegal to record someone without their consent in a public place if they are visible and audible, especially if they don't have reasonable expectations of privacy. I looked it up. It would only be illegal if we were somewhere private. Besides,” she held up her own phone. “Tiffany wasn’t recording you. She had her phone on speaker the whole time. “I, on the other hand, was recording you.”
Of course Trevor was so arrogant he thought he could somehow talk his way out of the situation. “Look, I’m sure you’re just confused about what you saw. I’m sure you just mistook me for someone else and it’s all just a huge misunderstanding.”
Kirsty rolled her eyes and ignored him, addressing Elliot and Tiffany instead. “And look at that! He’s even gaslighting me too. He actually thinks I’m dumb enough not to believe my own eyes. Or the tracker I took off my car. Good job incriminating yourself, Gooden.” She smirked at him. “And implicating your best bud? Way to throw him under the bus. I bet he’d tell the cops it was all your idea; both the tracker and the burner phones. All to cut a deal.”
Trevor sputtered. His strategy had failed. The woman he was after was not only not interested but could put his ass in a sling and send him to jail. That shithead she lived with and their baby bitch too, they’d planned all this together. He’d fallen into their trap.
“Here’s what’s going to happen, Trevor.” Kirsty refused to let him talk. “You’re going to withdraw or transfer, I don’t care which, to another school out of state. You can tell everyone you had a family emergency or some shit, I don’t care. In exchange,” She talked over him. “Tiffany doesn’t tell her school about you trespassing and stalking her like a pervert. I don’t report the tracker and the harassing phone calls. And my dearest friend,” she smiled at Elliot and he nearly melted. “Won’t gut you alive and throw you in a vat of acid.”
“I never thought of acid,” Elliot smirked at the look of terror on Trevor’s face. Oh, how he missed his tools. Not that he needed them at the moment. Kirsty was a magnificent sword and shield.
Trevor made a last ditch effort to hurt them. “Oh yeah? Well, what if I went to Immigration about your dear friend here?” He was almost snarling. “I bet his visa’s about to run out. It’d be a shame if poor little Tiffany’s only family was deported.”
Tiffany nearly launched herself at him. “You bastard!” Elliot barely held her back. “Language, pet.”
Kirsty seemed unconcerned. “Eh, I could just marry him. Then he can get a green card and work on his citizenship.”
Trevor shook his head in disbelief. “A fake marriage? Really? This guy matters to you so much? He’s not even your real family.”
“He would be if we got married,” Kirsty reminded him. “And who said anything about a fake marriage?” She winked at Elliot, who couldn’t help but stare back as she pushed past Trevor to wrap one of her arms around Elliot’s waist and declare, “If I had a husband as charming and sweet as Elliot, I’d fuck him every day of the week and twice on Sundays.”
Tiffany started to cough in surprise. Elliot stared at Kirsty like a gormless idiot. “Er…thank you, my dear. I think.”
Kirsty laughed. “Hey, you might be a little older than me but that just means you know what you want and you’re ready to settle down. Nothing wrong with that.” Her hand slipped down and she pinched him lightly on the arse, making him yelp. “And there’s a lot to be said for experience.” She looked at Trevor with contempt. “Most guys my age couldn’t find the clitoris with a GPS.”
Tiffany fell off the edge of the fountain. They all turned to her as Elliot helped her to her feet. “I’m okay!” she let them know.
“Think about it, or prepare to have your life ruined, Trevor.” Kirsty’s tone was final. She looked at Tiffany and Elliot. “Time to go, fam.”
As they walked towards Kirsty’s car Elliot couldn’t help but say what he was thinking.
“Only twice on Sundays?”
Tiffany stumbled.
#kirsty cotton#hellraiser#domestic fluff#tiffany is their daughter/little sister#i don't know what i'm doing#badass family#captain elliot spencer
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By: Alan Dershowitz
Published: Dec 21, 2023
The Harvard Crimson has refused to publish a letter I wrote critical of president Claudine Gay’s testimony in Congress.
The paper published an article Dec. 12 by law Professor Charles Fried providing a legalistic defense of her claim that those who call for genocide against Jews cannot be disciplined without considering “the context.”
Here’s my response:
--
The problem with Charles Fried’s defense of President Gay’s “Context matters” statement is he fails to acknowledge that for Gay, context apparently matters only for genocidal threats against Jews.
Context does not matter for microaggressions against blacks, gays and other minorities protected by the diversity, equity, inclusion bureaucracy that she has long championed.
Under the DEI regime, admissions have been withdrawn, lectures canceled and students admonished — at Harvard, Penn, MIT and other universities — for their speech without regard to the context in which they were said.
Fried fails to see the broader context of the double standard employed by so many universities — including Harvard — against Jews and other minorities that are excluded by DEI.
Yes, context matters, and in this broader context, Gay was wrong to brag to Congress about Harvard’s commitment to free expression without also telling it that Harvard’s selective application of free-speech standards earned it a last-place rating for free speech by the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression.
It is in that context that Gay’s new and selective double standard for protecting the free speech of Jew-haters should be evaluated.
It is to be hoped that Gay’s new contextual standard will in the future be universally applied to all speech at Harvard and the DEI bureaucracy will henceforth be denied the power to censor and cancel expression that is directed against protected minorities.
--
Despite my forward-looking and positive conclusion, the editorial board wrote that it is “not interested in publishing it.”
I think this is the first time in my 65 years of writing letters to the editor that one has been turned down.
And this one is from a professor who has been on the Harvard faculty for 60 years and has published numerous articles and letters in the Crimson.
It’s a telling irony the paper that reassured its readers “Free speech is the guiding principle of this Editorial Board” refuses to publish a letter calling for less censorship and viewpoint discrimination on campus.
That reflects Harvard’s double-standard approach to free speech: contextual free speech for the enemies of Jews and their state; censorship for supporters of Israel and critics of Harvard.
By refusing to publish my short reply to Professor Fried, the paper didn’t deny my free speech.
It denied Crimson readers’ right to hear all sides of a controversial issue — because the Crimson decided to shut down the marketplace of ideas.
When the media refuse to publish legitimate criticism of the institution they cover, the checks on the biases of that institution are weakened.
In light of this pervasive double standard, it’s not surprising so many Jewish students feel that Harvard does not value and protect them.
In recent years, the Crimson has become the megaphone for anti-Israel and antisemitic extremism on campus.
It’s also become the censor of pro-Israel and balanced views.
Last year, for instance, the Crimson’s editorial board called for support for the boycott, divestment, sanctions movement against Israel.
In its editorial, the paper explicitly distanced itself from a 2002 editorial that called divestment too blunt of a tool and the comparison to South African apartheid offensive: “In the past, our board was skeptical of the movement (if not, generally speaking, of its goals), arguing that BDS as a whole did not ‘get at the nuances and particularities of the Israel-Palestine conflict.’ We regret and reject that view. It is our categorical imperative to side with and empower the vulnerable and oppressed.”
It then goes on to paint a false picture that pro-Palestinian viewpoints are being suppressed on campus.
The Crimson of today writes, “We have a certain community-wide tendency to dismiss opposing views as inherently offensive and unworthy, straw-manning legitimate arguments and obfuscating difficult but necessary discussions. Yet civil discourse and debate, even when trying, are fundamental steps towards a better reality.”
But it does not apply these standards when it comes to Jews.
Harvard students, faculty and other readers should make their voices heard in the name of veritas and the open marketplace of ideas.
Competing Harvard newspapers and media should be established to ensure all reasonable views can be heard.
The Crimson is part of the problem of growing antisemitism at Harvard. It does not serve the Harvard community well in this time of deep divisions and hate.
Alan Dershowitz is professor emeritus at Harvard Law School. His latest book is “The War Against the Jews: How To End Hamas Barbarism.”
==
The antisemitism is bad enough, but then their defence for that is a value they clearly don't subscribe to or support.
#Alan Dershowitz#Harvard#Harvard University#Harvard Crimson#hypocrisy#free speech#freedom of speech#antisemitism#corruption of education#academic corruption#academic freedom#diversity equity and inclusion#DEI#diversity#equity#inclusion#DEI bureaucracy#cult of DEI#religion is a mental illness
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who are you????????? you're like so cool and you follow me on tumblr????
you had a massage job with a flirty muscle lady and now you're asking your adviser to do some work within the bdsm community and I have no idea what you even do??
you're like a cool person how is that possible on tumblr dot com
Aww, thanks. Despite all the people saying Id eventually grow out of wanting to be cool, that was a lie and the while world runs on flattery! I think im cool too, but im supposed to politely say thanks instead of hamming it up.
Im kind of a jack of dropped trades. Wanted to be a fieldresearch wildlife biologist for awhile but then dropped out to dissapoint my family and move in with my partner 4 states over. Loved being a massage therapist but got frustrated with my level of power in the medical system. (Not from clients but from insurance companies and other healthcare providers, it was so frustrating advocating my clients get their sessions paid for when they had "legitimate" pain (all pain is legit)).
So now Im working to get my doctorate in occupational therapy which is kind of like applied pt and psychology. We ask clients what they want to do, find what is preventing that task from being done, and address that prevention either by removing it, finding substitutions, or ways to help reduce the problem. Lots of OTs work in schools with kiddos who have barriers to doing homework. Some with adults who want to get back into crochet or cooking after a hand injury and we need to practice how thatl work.
Specifically I want to work with people who want to have sex, but have access issues due to health and safety. Maybe they have spinal cord injuries, maybe they have RA, maybe their bp medication makes their skin tear dangerously easily in unsexy and life threatening ways. Who better to address these concerns than the bdsm community who work so hard to design toys, buildings, furniture and mpre to support boring sex, weird sex, almost sex, not sex, wild sex, and competitive ranked sex. (Also everyone who has any awareness of the culture can clock me and my partner from blocks away even in a plainclothes setting just by posture alone)
I have to spend an entire year (at least) doing a big project for the school and then present it to people who will try to make me speak for and defend the research (this is tradition in america). I might just end up lurking at a sexual health clinic like planned parenthood but I dont want to just cover sexual health yknow? I want to help people fuck however they want! Best of all my school SEEMS to support my ideas sofar because sexual health and family planning are deeply important and very poorly addressed in our society. but we shall see how things continue to go. Love my school, they let me cosplay on a clinical gradschool campus and take my commentary on subcultures and nontraditional lifestyles very seriously.
Glad I could make someone happy by doin my thing. Thats a little about who i am
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I am already getting tired of seeing pro-choice people trying to defend abortion from a sense of economics. That is such a utilitarian view of looking at a child. The fact of the matter is that there should never be a price over a human person. Yes it takes money to take care of children. Yes there are going to be situations in which there are legitimately mothers who are unprepared to take care of their children. This does not justify abortion. This justifies demanding the following:
- Funding pregnancy / child care centers
- Supporting politicians who advocate for better women’s care in the office in the form of longer paid maternity leave and better child care options
- Creating an economic environment again where people can live off of single-family incomes
- Charity work involving low-cost or free diapers, formula, and babysitters for those who legitimately cannot operate without it.
and before you object,
I went to a little college called Belmont Abbey College, THE ONLY college in the United States that offers free housing, formula, diapers, and babysitting to mothers who unexpectedly became pregnant during college. Oh, and they paid their entire college tuition for them, too. And those women chose life on my campus because they knew they were not alone. these women were college students, who more often than not did not have a penny to their name let alone a job to support themselves and a baby. and they prospered. I’ve known several of these women very personally, and they have all built an amazing life with their child alongside graduating from college.
Money. Does not. Justify. Killing. A life.
If you find yourself making this argument, remember the story I have told you, and consider donating to pregnancy centers such as Mira Via, who help tremendously with mothers who choose life and need support after delivering their baby. They are actually the center that works with Belmont Abbey in providing the care they do for their student-mothers. Abortion is only a temporary “solution” to a much deeper and systemic problem. It only brings pain. But there are other options out there.
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CU Hockey Book 3: Goal Lines & First Times by Eden Finley & Saxon James
COHEN
It turns out making out with my best friend in high school could be considered gay. Who knew? Apparently, everyone but me.
Now that it’s been pointed out, I can’t help reliving it in my head. Repeatedly. Goodbye Denial Town, hello Confusionville.
When my path leads me down the gay dating app route, I don’t expect to meet anyone I like, but then I meet him.
He can’t be more opposite than me. He’s smart, he hates hockey, and he identifies as demi—something I’ve never heard of.
Yet I can’t deny something’s there. Something I want to explore in person. If only I could get him to agree.
SETH
All my life, I’ve felt broken.
Sick of being asked if I could be gay by ex-girlfriends, friends, and even my parents, I join a gay dating app to prove a point.
I don’t expect to find what’s always been missing. A real connection.
The problem is, I’m too scared to meet him in person. He’s a hockey player, and I fear when he finds out my twin plays for the NHL, I’ll be overshadowed by my overachieving brother. Again.
Worse yet, what happens if we meet and that connection isn’t the same?
When I tell him I’m not ready, he’s disappointed but supportive. Fate, on the other hand, isn’t as accepting.
I had no idea the person I’ve been falling for is someone I already know.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56225260-goal-lines-first-times
********
November 3, 2022
My Review: 5/5 Stars
Cohen and Seth's turn and it was so good! Seth is really tired of everyone questioning his sexuality. It's hard enough for him to figure it out, he doesn't really appreciate everyone's opinion. So when his latest girlfriend breaks up with him, he can't help but blurt out a legitimate reason why. And is surprised when she gives him some pretty solid insight. This leads to creating an online dating profile. He can figure out his sexuality and get that emotional connection first before actually meeting anyone in person. It takes off the pressure of the physical parts of the relationship, while also getting to know someone. Too bad online dating isn't easy. At least until he meets Richie. Richie aka Cohen has come to learn that perhaps kissing your guy best friend in high school isn't exactly normal. And he is having his own struggle of figuring out his identity. And when his best friend suggests a dating app, he goes for it. And meets Seth. But he doesn't know it is Seth. Seth isn't keen on releasing his name and Cohen calls him Einstein. And everyone on campus calls Richie by his last name Cohen. So when his profile says Richie, it's safe to say Seth has no clue. As they spend months and months texting and getting to know one another, they start to realize that perhaps they do have a connection. But both are willing to take it slow as they figure themselves out. And when it comes close to wanting to meet... well, it's not in the way either expect! I loved their story! Each of them have a journey to find out who they are and what they want. And when they get to know someone and connect, they start to realize that gender doesn't matter for either. It's really who that person is inside. Such a sweet story! Seth and Cohen fit so well together even when they crossed paths before knowing who other truly was. Loving this series and I'm on to the next one!
#book#books#i love books#my review#book review#cu hockey#goal lines & first times#eden finley#saxon james
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I'm on my student newspaper, and my main responsibility is to do event coverage - go to different things happening on campus and write about it. A lot of times it's just panel discussions or talks, but sometimes it's more interesting things - the Christian student group's paint night or a pride celebration hosted by the director of inclusivity.
This week is national library week, and I went to an event today the library was putting on - a couple hours set aside for outdoor games. Sidewalk chalk and giant tic-tac-toe and balls to throw around - and snacks, can't forget the snacks. It was a beautiful day and the library staff was very friendly and interesting.
Aside from myself, a total of 4 students came.
This isn't unusual; a lot of events have low attendance. Lower attendance than they should. I know engagement is a big priority for the school, and there are legitimate problems in the way the school chooses to go about this - their choices of advertisement are weird, for example - but I really have to wonder...
Do students know they have to engage if they want to be engaged?
Like, genuinely. This is a college campus. It was 2 hours set aside on a beautiful day with Doritos and Oreos and plenty of things to do. And 4 people came. While there is a significant commuter population at my school, there's also a significant resident student population. Plenty of people were around, and plenty of them were doing nothing.
This is a situation in which it was easy for students to engage. No commitments, no mental energy, nothing. And 4 people came.
I've been to so many events with low turnout, and I just have to ask - do people know that community comes from doing community things? That connection comes from connecting? That you can't just wait for it to pull you in - you have to grab the rope when it's being offered?
#it makes me so sad to see such low engagement at the school#like yeah it sucks that things suck so much but also#things will only suck less if students work to make them suck less#do people know that community sits on the shoulders of giants?#idk#rambles
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I moved to a dangerous area of a city for school, and during the school year when most of my activities were on-campus, faced very few problems going about my day. However I recently moved off-campus and have been taking public transport more often, and it feels like I’ve been encountering more situations that stress me out than usual. Anyway, I’ve been lucky enough so far to not have had any “real” bad outcomes as a result of this (haven’t been robbed or had harassment beyond street comments,) but it’s taking a toll on my general anxiousness levels. I feel jealous of my roommates for not having had stuff like this happen to them yet while I’ve had scary encounters like 4 times in the past few weeks, which makes me wonder if I’m just being paranoid compared to them. I’m a generally more anxious person than most people, and sometimes I have episodes where I get really jumpy for a while or feel deeply unsettled, like someone could be following me or jump me in my apartment (not to the point where it feels real, more like “this would really suck.”) I’m also a six, so my gut reaction to people trying to get my attention is highly reactive and fearful. I’m a bit worried that my naturally anxious demeanor is making me more of a target than otherwise, but I’m not sure how to change that. While I think there are legitimate reasons to me to feel anxious, I don’t get anything out of being more stressed all the time. So do you have advice for dealing with the general anxiety/unfairness of the situation, and maybe encountering less of it? Or on appearing less vulnerable in public?
Regarding safety -- it's important to look confident even if you are not, to glance at people as you pass them (make brief eye contact, so you are telling them that you see them / are aware of them being there), and to seem like you know what you are doing (a confident stride, not hesitant movements or sidelong glances). If you are really concerned about being attacked, make it hard for them (no ponytails or anything they could grab, and arm yourself with protection of some sort that is legal where you live -- like pepper spray or a taser). Minimize being out after hours as much as you can, find people to walk home with and/or go to the bus stop with, and don't listen to music on your headphones or look at your phone. Distracted people are easier targets. Look around, be aware, and become aware of what is 'normal' for each environment (which people are always there, and what are they doing; who else is traveling at the same time you are). You should also brush up on self-defense to feel more confident (youtube has videos, or you could even take a class). There are lots of articles, videos, etc., from ex-cops/marines that will help you.
As for dealing with generalized anxiety -- it's understandable that if you feel vulnerable and are having to navigate a stressful situation, you will be more on edge, more emotional, and more easily triggered into being anxious about people trying to get your attention. You could try meditation at home and breathing techniques to calm yourself down. Learn how to be more in your body, and less in your head -- that's the only way for a 6 to feel more connected to the earth, by being aware of how they are breathing and how their body is reacting and how their feet are hitting the pavement. It's also good for a 6 to talk about their fears with other people they trust, or to just vent about it to someone who can reassure them or help them come up with a solution. Do your close friends know that you feel unsafe on your way to school? Could any of them carpool with you? Would any of them have ideas about how to feel safer or feel more calm?
I would say it might be helpful to assume that most people are just on their way to work/school, and like you, want to get there. Most people don't have evil intentions toward you, which means you don't have to be scared of every person you meet. Humans are very good at being intuitive in dangerous situations -- you can trust your body and your mind and your instincts to tell you when something is off or when someone seems "not right." Your mind and body is processing body language and information that you are not consciously aware of. There are also places that attract more trouble than others, and if they make you uncomfortable, don't go there anymore if you can avoid it. Get familiar with your route and the people you usually see along it and that will help you feel a little more oriented, and aware of what is normal for that route. The more familiar with it you are, the less anxiety you will have about it. It will just take time.
You can also be consciously aware of your negative thinking, and choose whether to give in to those thoughts or not. Like, "Is that person watching me?" -- well, are they, or are they doing the same thing I am doing, which is glancing around to see who is doing what? If someone is trying to get your attention -- why? Is it just to hit on you or is it because you're about to step into the bike lane?
Lastly if this is REALLY stressing you, is there any way you can move back on campus, or move closer and carpool? And since it's hard to be objective about whether something is scary or not (is this me overreacting or is this legitimately something to worry about?), ask your friends for input -- describe the scary situation to them, and ask them if that would unnerve them. Sometimes talking about it makes it seem less intimidating, and other times, it clearly shows you that this situation was NOT okay and should be seen as a warning flag.
I hope you can stay safe and find ways to feel less endangered.
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Sorry to hear about your breakdown. However the fact it came out in public like that suggests you may repressing things you aren’t allowing yourself to process and feel, which is by no means easy, yet pivotal to your wellbeing and resilience from adversity in life. I hope you are able to come back feeling better after this bout, I have every faith in you. Look after yourself and give yourself some extra tlc in the meantime. ❤️
:)
You're probably right. I can't really pinpoint what it was that I was repressing though. I was feeling a lot of things at once. I saw so many things that made me legitimately happy. I saw people being themselves. There were black goths and nerds. Trans people just. Exist on campus no problem. There's no real "normal" and honestly not much "authority " in the sense that people are in control of my life.
Although I do know my breaking point was when i was embarrassed for entering the wrong class (I forgot to check the time and didn't realize someone else used the classroom before us.)
I don't know. Feelings are hard. I'm aware of which ones I was experiencing. I didn't think I was repressing anything.
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One class is $600 and I'm only able to take two each semester due to my financial situation. I have a part time job, bills, hospital bills, etc, however, the area in that I live in is ableist. Imagine living in a place where they don't see autism, epilepsy amd DID as a disability. This is a huge problem because people with DID experience large memory gaps which can greatly effect your grades, and autism effects the way we learn new information and interact with others.....and epilepsy can literally kill me. You tell me if I'm considered to be that of the social norm and able to function normally in society without any help whatsoever. The fact that I'm incapable of swimming is down right depressing, along with the fact that I become mute around my partner. I would do anything to live a normal life or be able to get a scholarship without being denied just for having a disability on record. This is why we're majoring in criminal justice and genetics, perhaps we can be that one person that makes a fucking difference in this world.
Now what does this have to deal with legit dolls??
You now know my financial status and are aware that I own legitimate BJDs. I am more than capable of budgeting and managing my money like neurotypical folks. I'm not a goddamn child, I'm a whole ass adult.
Recasters: you have dolls but can't afford college??
Me: my dolls are cheaper than fucking college and the books are free at my institution. We pay nothing as long as the books don't get damaged.
Recasters: you could save up 🥴
Me: save up $20k in a year for five prerequisite classes, 4 lab classes, 2 language classes and dorms???? I don't have that kind of money. Thats 40k a year. This is why I live off campus and have to drive far
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President Sally Kornbluth and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman discuss the future of AI
New Post has been published on https://sunalei.org/news/president-sally-kornbluth-and-openai-ceo-sam-altman-discuss-the-future-of-ai/
President Sally Kornbluth and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman discuss the future of AI
How is the field of artificial intelligence evolving and what does it mean for the future of work, education, and humanity? MIT President Sally Kornbluth and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman covered all that and more in a wide-ranging discussion on MIT’s campus May 2.
The success of OpenAI’s ChatGPT large language models has helped spur a wave of investment and innovation in the field of artificial intelligence. ChatGPT-3.5 became the fastest-growing consumer software application in history after its release at the end of 2022, with hundreds of millions of people using the tool. Since then, OpenAI has also demonstrated AI-driven image-, audio-, and video-generation products and partnered with Microsoft.
The event, which took place in a packed Kresge Auditorium, captured the excitement of the moment around AI, with an eye toward what’s next.
“I think most of us remember the first time we saw ChatGPT and were like, ‘Oh my god, that is so cool!’” Kornbluth said. “Now we’re trying to figure out what the next generation of all this is going to be.”
For his part, Altman welcomes the high expectations around his company and the field of artificial intelligence more broadly.
“I think it’s awesome that for two weeks, everybody was freaking out about ChatGPT-4, and then by the third week, everyone was like, ‘Come on, where’s GPT-5?’” Altman said. “I think that says something legitimately great about human expectation and striving and why we all have to [be working to] make things better.”
The problems with AI
Early on in their discussion, Kornbluth and Altman discussed the many ethical dilemmas posed by AI.
“I think we’ve made surprisingly good progress around how to align a system around a set of values,” Altman said. “As much as people like to say ‘You can’t use these things because they’re spewing toxic waste all the time,’ GPT-4 behaves kind of the way you want it to, and we’re able to get it to follow a given set of values, not perfectly well, but better than I expected by this point.”
Altman also pointed out that people don’t agree on exactly how an AI system should behave in many situations, complicating efforts to create a universal code of conduct.
“How do we decide what values a system should have?” Altman asked. “How do we decide what a system should do? How much does society define boundaries versus trusting the user with these tools? Not everyone will use them the way we like, but that’s just kind of the case with tools. I think it’s important to give people a lot of control … but there are some things a system just shouldn’t do, and we’ll have to collectively negotiate what those are.”
Kornbluth agreed doing things like eradicating bias in AI systems will be difficult.
“It’s interesting to think about whether or not we can make models less biased than we are as human beings,” she said.
Kornbluth also brought up privacy concerns associated with the vast amounts of data needed to train today’s large language models. Altman said society has been grappling with those concerns since the dawn of the internet, but AI is making such considerations more complex and higher-stakes. He also sees entirely new questions raised by the prospect of powerful AI systems.
“How are we going to navigate the privacy versus utility versus safety tradeoffs?” Altman asked. “Where we all individually decide to set those tradeoffs, and the advantages that will be possible if someone lets the system be trained on their entire life, is a new thing for society to navigate. I don’t know what the answers will be.”
For both privacy and energy consumption concerns surrounding AI, Altman said he believes progress in future versions of AI models will help.
“What we want out of GPT-5 or 6 or whatever is for it to be the best reasoning engine possible,” Altman said. “It is true that right now, the only way we’re able to do that is by training it on tons and tons of data. In that process, it’s learning something about how to do very, very limited reasoning or cognition or whatever you want to call it. But the fact that it can memorize data, or the fact that it’s storing data at all in its parameter space, I think we’ll look back and say, ‘That was kind of a weird waste of resources.’ I assume at some point, we’ll figure out how to separate the reasoning engine from the need for tons of data or storing the data in [the model], and be able to treat them as separate things.”
Kornbluth also asked about how AI might lead to job displacement.
“One of the things that annoys me most about people who work on AI is when they stand up with a straight face and say, ‘This will never cause any job elimination. This is just an additive thing. This is just all going to be great,’” Altman said. “This is going to eliminate a lot of current jobs, and this is going to change the way that a lot of current jobs function, and this is going to create entirely new jobs. That always happens with technology.”
The promise of AI
Altman believes progress in AI will make grappling with all of the field’s current problems worth it.
“If we spent 1 percent of the world’s electricity training a powerful AI, and that AI helped us figure out how to get to non-carbon-based energy or make deep carbon capture better, that would be a massive win,” Altman said.
He also said the application of AI he’s most interested in is scientific discovery.
“I believe [scientific discovery] is the core engine of human progress and that it is the only way we drive sustainable economic growth,” Altman said. “People aren’t content with GPT-4. They want things to get better. Everyone wants life more and better and faster, and science is how we get there.”
Kornbluth also asked Altman for his advice for students thinking about their careers. He urged students not to limit themselves.
“The most important lesson to learn early on in your career is that you can kind of figure anything out, and no one has all of the answers when they start out,” Altman said. “You just sort of stumble your way through, have a fast iteration speed, and try to drift toward the most interesting problems to you, and be around the most impressive people and have this trust that you’ll successfully iterate to the right thing. … You can do more than you think, faster than you think.”
The advice was part of a broader message Altman had about staying optimistic and working to create a better future.
“The way we are teaching our young people that the world is totally screwed and that it’s hopeless to try to solve problems, that all we can do is sit in our bedrooms in the dark and think about how awful we are, is a really deeply unproductive streak,” Altman said. “I hope MIT is different than a lot of other college campuses. I assume it is. But you all need to make it part of your life mission to fight against this. Prosperity, abundance, a better life next year, a better life for our children. That is the only path forward. That is the only way to have a functioning society … and the anti-progress streak, the anti ‘people deserve a great life’ streak, is something I hope you all fight against.”
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President Sally Kornbluth and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman discuss the future of AI
New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/president-sally-kornbluth-and-openai-ceo-sam-altman-discuss-the-future-of-ai/
President Sally Kornbluth and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman discuss the future of AI
How is the field of artificial intelligence evolving and what does it mean for the future of work, education, and humanity? MIT President Sally Kornbluth and OpenAI CEO Sam Altman covered all that and more in a wide-ranging discussion on MIT’s campus May 2.
The success of OpenAI’s ChatGPT large language models has helped spur a wave of investment and innovation in the field of artificial intelligence. ChatGPT-3.5 became the fastest-growing consumer software application in history after its release at the end of 2022, with hundreds of millions of people using the tool. Since then, OpenAI has also demonstrated AI-driven image-, audio-, and video-generation products and partnered with Microsoft.
The event, which took place in a packed Kresge Auditorium, captured the excitement of the moment around AI, with an eye toward what’s next.
“I think most of us remember the first time we saw ChatGPT and were like, ‘Oh my god, that is so cool!’” Kornbluth said. “Now we’re trying to figure out what the next generation of all this is going to be.”
For his part, Altman welcomes the high expectations around his company and the field of artificial intelligence more broadly.
“I think it’s awesome that for two weeks, everybody was freaking out about ChatGPT-4, and then by the third week, everyone was like, ‘Come on, where’s GPT-5?’” Altman said. “I think that says something legitimately great about human expectation and striving and why we all have to [be working to] make things better.”
The problems with AI
Early on in their discussion, Kornbluth and Altman discussed the many ethical dilemmas posed by AI.
“I think we’ve made surprisingly good progress around how to align a system around a set of values,” Altman said. “As much as people like to say ‘You can’t use these things because they’re spewing toxic waste all the time,’ GPT-4 behaves kind of the way you want it to, and we’re able to get it to follow a given set of values, not perfectly well, but better than I expected by this point.”
Altman also pointed out that people don’t agree on exactly how an AI system should behave in many situations, complicating efforts to create a universal code of conduct.
“How do we decide what values a system should have?” Altman asked. “How do we decide what a system should do? How much does society define boundaries versus trusting the user with these tools? Not everyone will use them the way we like, but that’s just kind of the case with tools. I think it’s important to give people a lot of control … but there are some things a system just shouldn’t do, and we’ll have to collectively negotiate what those are.”
Kornbluth agreed doing things like eradicating bias in AI systems will be difficult.
“It’s interesting to think about whether or not we can make models less biased than we are as human beings,” she said.
Kornbluth also brought up privacy concerns associated with the vast amounts of data needed to train today’s large language models. Altman said society has been grappling with those concerns since the dawn of the internet, but AI is making such considerations more complex and higher-stakes. He also sees entirely new questions raised by the prospect of powerful AI systems.
“How are we going to navigate the privacy versus utility versus safety tradeoffs?” Altman asked. “Where we all individually decide to set those tradeoffs, and the advantages that will be possible if someone lets the system be trained on their entire life, is a new thing for society to navigate. I don’t know what the answers will be.”
For both privacy and energy consumption concerns surrounding AI, Altman said he believes progress in future versions of AI models will help.
“What we want out of GPT-5 or 6 or whatever is for it to be the best reasoning engine possible,” Altman said. “It is true that right now, the only way we’re able to do that is by training it on tons and tons of data. In that process, it’s learning something about how to do very, very limited reasoning or cognition or whatever you want to call it. But the fact that it can memorize data, or the fact that it’s storing data at all in its parameter space, I think we’ll look back and say, ‘That was kind of a weird waste of resources.’ I assume at some point, we’ll figure out how to separate the reasoning engine from the need for tons of data or storing the data in [the model], and be able to treat them as separate things.”
Kornbluth also asked about how AI might lead to job displacement.
“One of the things that annoys me most about people who work on AI is when they stand up with a straight face and say, ‘This will never cause any job elimination. This is just an additive thing. This is just all going to be great,’” Altman said. “This is going to eliminate a lot of current jobs, and this is going to change the way that a lot of current jobs function, and this is going to create entirely new jobs. That always happens with technology.”
The promise of AI
Altman believes progress in AI will make grappling with all of the field’s current problems worth it.
“If we spent 1 percent of the world’s electricity training a powerful AI, and that AI helped us figure out how to get to non-carbon-based energy or make deep carbon capture better, that would be a massive win,” Altman said.
He also said the application of AI he’s most interested in is scientific discovery.
“I believe [scientific discovery] is the core engine of human progress and that it is the only way we drive sustainable economic growth,” Altman said. “People aren’t content with GPT-4. They want things to get better. Everyone wants life more and better and faster, and science is how we get there.”
Kornbluth also asked Altman for his advice for students thinking about their careers. He urged students not to limit themselves.
“The most important lesson to learn early on in your career is that you can kind of figure anything out, and no one has all of the answers when they start out,” Altman said. “You just sort of stumble your way through, have a fast iteration speed, and try to drift toward the most interesting problems to you, and be around the most impressive people and have this trust that you’ll successfully iterate to the right thing. … You can do more than you think, faster than you think.”
The advice was part of a broader message Altman had about staying optimistic and working to create a better future.
“The way we are teaching our young people that the world is totally screwed and that it’s hopeless to try to solve problems, that all we can do is sit in our bedrooms in the dark and think about how awful we are, is a really deeply unproductive streak,” Altman said. “I hope MIT is different than a lot of other college campuses. I assume it is. But you all need to make it part of your life mission to fight against this. Prosperity, abundance, a better life next year, a better life for our children. That is the only path forward. That is the only way to have a functioning society … and the anti-progress streak, the anti ‘people deserve a great life’ streak, is something I hope you all fight against.”
#2022#Advice#ai#AI models#AI systems#artificial#Artificial Intelligence#audio#Bias#Business and management#Capture#carbon#carbon capture#career#Careers#CEO#change#chatGPT#ChatGPT-3#ChatGPT-4#Children#code#cognition#college#Community#content#Dark#data#Drift#economic
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