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fireemblems24 · 3 years

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Dimitri's Supports

I have waited FOREVER for this. Let's go. And I decided to put my patience to the test, saving Dedue for last.

Since it's Dimitri and I love him, and like Dedue who I also love, he's the only one unlocking all his A-Supports, I'm going to blog all my reactions to them like I did with Dedue. Part of me wishes I thought of this for the other characters, but honestly it would've taken forever lol. Plus Dimitri and Dedue get special treatment because I said so.

Raphael

Starting off with something light hearted, I hope. I do wonder if I'm going to regret not saving this one for the inevitably heavy-handed stuff coming later.

I'm seriously betting this is a support you're supposed to get in part 1 lol. Dimitri sounds young (or maybe I'm just haven't heard non-growl part 2 Dimitri enough yet?)

Dimitri's training made Raphael think he was dying lol. Dimitri's strength is really meme tier.

I need fanart of Dimitri and Chrom co-miserating their mishandled strength breaking something. And Lucina.

Lamo, Raphael has never felt a cramp before. Lucky bastard.

Raphael is a sweetie, going to apologize to his muscles. I really wish they gave him something else to talk about other than muscles and food. Not everyone needs Dimitri tier development, but I think I'd like Raphael a lot more if he just got a smidge more depth.

Got to say, it's a bit jarring to go from "moments away from a suicide charge in the rain" to "lol, Raphael, it's muscle pain." As glad as I am that I got this support, I do think some should've been locked to part 1.

And this isn't just for Dimitri's development. I also saw Marianne and Raphael's B before this support and she reverted back to her part 1 self too.

Catherine

Maybe it's just me, but he does sound a bit older.

OMG - Dimitri's back. 😭😭😭

Sorry, it didn't really hit in that first one since that seemed like a part 1 support.

Oh, cool! I was wondering if anyone would bring up Catherine returning to Faerghus. My bets is she's too loyal to Rhea. (I guessed right)

Catherine be simpin. That's ok, I get it.

So it's not because Catherine dislikes Dimitri, or that she's absolutely needed to rule House Charon, so I think Dimitri just likes her. She's cool though. I get it.

Lamo, she told him he'd better get his sleep like he's a kid.

Curious how the A+ support will play out.

Mercedes

Team Mom's support!

Oh, no, this one's taking a serious turn isn't it? But their initial supports were so light and cute.

Mercedes just told Dimitri that he's kind to a fault. Somehow I know he's going to deny that.

Annnnnd I'm right 😭😭😭He's still calling himself a killer and disgusting monster 😭😭😭

OK - so THIS seems perfectly in tone with his recent character development. But it's so sad hearing him still talk about himself that way.

Mercedes is such a therapist. I can't. She's too pure. But savage. I saw that Lorenz support.

"I am scared . . . so scared that I will forget their faces." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Dimitri why????

Mercedes telling Dimitri to live in the present. Her supports are always so good. I legit think she's easily a top 10 favorite in this game.

Wow, Dimitri saying if someone told him that 5 years ago, he'd be different. DID NO ONE EVER GIVE HIM ANY HELP AT ALL???

I love how she's talking to him as a classmate, and equal, and not talking up to him. He's always wanted that.

Dimitri's never given his own dreams any thought 😭😭😭He really was just 100% living for other people most of the time. 😭😭😭

Awww MERCEDES, I can't. She says she just wants to keep being his friend. This is so damn sweet. And heavy. But still sweet.

It just hits super hard knowing how badly Dimitri just wanted friends in part 1. And looking back, Mercedes and Sylvain were really the only two who were pretty casual with him.

Aww, yeah, Mercedes not putting up with the bullshit, Dimitri. Telling him to quit the self-deprecation! God, I love her.

Oh, God, they both said the old FE code for "we're married" i.e. I want to "stay by your side."

Ok, @garlandgerard, I totally get why you ship this. Mercedes loves to nurture people, and Dimitri's emotionally needy, so they match pretty well. She also didn't put up with the constant self-put-downs, but stayed gentle about it. And they talked like equals too, like friends, which is what Dimitri always wanted. It's all very sweet.

Annette

Yeah, see, this one starts off with "your highness," but Mercedes it was just Dimitri. No hate for Annette. She's my girl.

These two always give me sibling vibes.

Haha, Annette "I thought I already knew you, but I'm not sure I really do." Hmmmm wonder what Dimitri did that made her think that maybe there's parts of him she didn't know. No. idea.

Hey, Annette, no one blames you for not knowing what to say to Dimitri when they reunited lol.

Annette too pure too, wanting to cheer Dimitri up with his favorite food.

Her not knowing what he likes to eat is 100% that moment when you realize you don't know someone's favorite color.

HOW can Dimitri have no strong feelings about food. I'm having pizza right now. Let me tell you, I have strong feelings about some food.

I love how easily Dimitri deflected from talking about himself lol.

Awwww, Annette wants to live with her family again. I'll make that happen, Annette. Don't worry.

Haha, they're conspiring together behind Gilbert's back.

They still have an A+ support, which is weird, because that seemed pretty well ended? Like I see why Catherine's needed more, but not this one. Still, not going to say no. I like their dynamic.

Ingrid

OCF they're training. God I love all the Faerghus childhood group though.

Oh, fuck, here comes Glenn again. My heart's not ready for this with Rodrigue dead. Poor Felix.

Ingrid being Dimitri's knight 😊😊😊 as it should be.

Haha, Dimitri asks her for an interpretation. Just make her your knight.

Glad he hasn't started saying "I'm not worthy!" Because right now it's about Ingrid's feelings.

Wow, there, Ingrid. "However you please, Your Highness." That . . . that sounds like an invitation. To "staying by your side."

Dimitri laughed. 😊😊😊

Oh, God, this is so cute. His pause asking her to support and defend him as his knight. 😊😊😊 OMG. I'm not sure that's all she had in mind though, good Sir, have you LOOKED in the mirror?

Seriously though, Ingrid's just surrounded by studs, isn't she?

Oh, God, I'm right. She didn't just mean knight. But Dimitri's too dense in that area to notice. She crushing hard. Girl, I get you.

She blushing, saying "for the Kingdom," naw, she just like him. Me too, Ingrid. Me too.

Dimitri always makes people promise not to die on him. It's so sad considering . . .

Flayn

With Flayn it's always a toss up. Sometimes things are super light hearted, and other times it's way heavy.

On a random note, does no one wonder why Flayn hasn't aged a day in 5 years?

Flayn having nightmares. Not allowed. I bet it's fucking Jeritza's fault. I'm glad you get to rip him a new one so many times in this game.

Why is Flayn apologizing?? She's never done a thing wrong in her life.

Right, Flayn's other support with Dimitri was pretty heavy. And it started so funny with him stomaching her food.

Oh, good grief, what's he apologizing for? Ok - so Dimitri did do some things wrong. But not to Flayn.

He lied. Let me guess. Her food actually sucks.

Aw, got it. He went right to the meal. Is he really going to come out and say, well it actually sucked 😂

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEALS???? AND THE TEA an embarrassing amount of tea.

Wait. He can't taste ANYTHING??? Like. How? Did he hide that????

Ok - I need to look at his team and dining dialogue.

OMG. He really never says a word about how anything tastes? He always just talks about smells????

OMG. How did I NOT NOTICE. I've taken Dimitri to dinner a million times. And tea timed him too many times to admit too.

AND I NEVER NOTICED HE NEVER ONCE SAID HOW ANYTHING TASTED. HOW.

OMG that support with Annette hits different now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OMG and Dedue's support with Flayn hits different now. Since he wanted to badly to find food Dimitri loves 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Does Dedue know? Is that why he's so dedicated to cooking??

Can I headcannon that?

OMG, I feel so awful about that jab about pizza. Dimitri CAN'T TASTE pizza or anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Please someone tell me there isn't any more "this awful thing also happened to Dimitri and he's failed to tell you" like learning he almost fucking died at Duscur. And now this. Dimitri needs to learn how to fucking complain.

The writers are so fucking mean to Dimitri. OMG. OMG, how am I supposed to take him to dinner and tea now, knowing this?

Why does everything hit so differently now? And so many Blue Lions supports are about food - but Dimitri can't relate

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This game needs to stop bullying Dimitri.

But like, God, can you imagine? Not tasting anything? I'd starve. I'd actually starve. I never really get hungry. I really would starve.

On the flip side, he's good for Flayn then, since someone can eat her cooking I guess.

"I was just saying what I thought you would want to hear . . ." Dimitri - a summary.

Naw, that's a kind lie. That kind of lie doesn't really hurt anyone.

Oh - dear God. Flayn. Stop. No sampling pungent food.

Oh, she blushing. Dimitri got her blushing

Please tell me in their paired ending Dimitri gets his taste back.

Oh, there's an A+, does he taste something. Please tell me he tastes something.

This support though. It wasn't really one on my radar but

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Gilbert

Oh, man, this one right after Flayn's. God, I'm going to need the Alois one after this. Gilbert and Dimitri are two of the most somber characters in the franchise.

And I haven't forgotten that heartbreaking B support.

Haha Lambert sucked at lying too. Dimitri too pure. Weirdly, despite everything, it's still pretty true.

Oh, shit, oh shit, we're back to Dimitri's demand that Gilbert kill him. I'm betting you usually get that in part 2.

God, imagine seeing Dimitri recover only to see him beg for death again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need alcohol.

I need the Alois support.

OMG, shit, Dimitri. No. Don't. Stop.

Like, I know Gilbert won't really kill him, but damn. This support is heavy.

No, Dimitri, no Gilbert is not cruel for not killing you. God.

Oh, not sure about this. I get what Gilbert's going at here, but telling Dimitri that he's not allowed to die because he's got a duty is . . . I think Rodrigue's and Mercedes' live for what you want/the present is a LOT healthier.

At the same time, this is a pretty effective way to make sure Dimitri won't go and try this again, because he really takes duty seriously.

Dimitri doesn't wish to die? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, thank God.

"Many times I have felt that I cannot afford to die . . . But this was the first time I truly feared the prospect." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Is it really right for me to live?" Oh, dear God. I'm so soft for Dimitri. I can't.

Gilbert answered that one right. 100%.

Damn, these supports.

Alois

OK. I need this one. I really need this one.

I really hope Alois' inspiration is bad puns. I need bad puns right now.

Pretty sure this is a part 1 support though. I love how Alois, not Dimitri, is leading this. And that the person the Kingdom NEEDS is running around and getting attacked by monsters lol

Ok, bad puns. Bring them.

There we go. Thank you, thank you, Alois.

OMG no one's laughing 😂😂😂

Dimitri's laughing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

That's it. This is always getting saved for part 2. I need to hear part 2 Dimitri laugh.

I'm also so glad someone finds Alois funny. Dimitri and Petra need to start a club.

OMG I love the two other confused soldiers. I needed this 😂😂😂

Marianne

These two were so sweet in their C and B supports.

I swear I'm going to end up shipping Dimitri with everyone. Except maybe Annette, no hate, they just seem so much like brother and sister to me.

And Felix x Annette 100%

Survivor's Guilt - the pairing. Both wondering why they survived 😭😭😭

"There are so many others who are much more deserving of life . . ." - who said it? Marianne or Dimitri?

These two just understand how each other feels so well. It hits so different compared to Marianne's other romantic possible supports where they just try to make her smile.

Instead these two take comfort in finding someone who understands how they feel so well and feel relieved they can share that with someone.

Haha - "I must go on living. I cannot give in to death so readily." This coming right after his support with Gilbert. Good job, Gilbert.

They've both had it so rough 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"There is no need to force yourself to smile as your soul bleeds." Dimitri always gives such good advice that he never follows.

Aww, now at least it's getting cute instead of just heavy. Marianne laughed too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yesss, Girl, preach. I got a little sick of her other supports all being "cheer up!" Like I know it's all in good faith, but I'm so glad this chain exists. It just hits different.

Dimitri doesn't think he's strong enough to live his life. 😭😭😭 this game. I swear.

ohhhh - ohhh, Dimitri blushing now. And all she needed to say was they've been brought closer together. Congrats Marianne!

OHHHH tables have been turned. Now someone's making Dimitri promise he needs to live!

"I don't know what I'd do with myself if we lost you . . ."

"I promise to the goddess of Fodlan that I will never give you cause for despair."

OMG these two are being so sweet, I can't. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

Felix

Oh, boy, here we go. This should be . . . interesting.

Oh, we're starting off good I see. Felix telling Dimitri he needs to answer quickly or get cut in half 😔Felix. No.

Dimitri sounds so somber 😭

Dimitri admitting both are him - the vengeful "boar" and the friendly good person. And this is why I love him.

Dimitri feels the need to shoulder all the regret the dead feel, please don't. They wouldn't want that 😭😭😭😭😭

"The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty, they don't care." - Felix not wrong there.

I partly agree with the idea Dimitri is "serving his own ego" by claiming he's acting for the dead. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, but I think that's part of it.

Felix saying some good stuff here about the dead being dead and the living being living.

"If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap." - Felix, I don't know if you noticed but . . . uh . . . he sort of did.

Felix telling Dimitri to become a grave keeper is a bit funny. Not going to lie.

"I'm not immune to emotion you know." - just tsunderes things

Aw, Felix is upset his father died 😭😭 after all that shit-talking about Rodrigue 😭😭

Wish Felix didn't cut Dimitri off when he said "more than anyone you-" (care about other people, unless he joins CF and just kills everyone)

Oh, God, Felix is such a tsundere. "I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all." Sure, Felix.

Kinda wish these two had an A+ though. Seems like there's more to do than the A+ with Annette and Flayn.

Really curious to see what their paired ending is like after that. Seems they're still learning to learn about each other. Well, Felix is. Dimitri didn't seem too upset lol.

Dedue

Ok guys. Here we go. I can't believe I managed to wait for this for last. Everyone hyped this one, so let's hope.

Really? We open with Dimitri having scars on his back? 😭

From 9 years ago? So scars from Duscur then?

Images of shirtless Dimitri now. though Not bad images.

He got scars protecting Dedue?

"It makes me think that is was worthwhile that someone like me survived." 😭😭😭 he's talking about protecting Dedue? 😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"But I saved someone - saved you. That and that alone has been my crutch." 😭😭😭😭😭

I always knew these two were co-dependent.

Dimitri really out here saying that saving Dedue helped him "justify" surviving. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

OMG THAT'S THEIR STORY

OMG, poor Dedue. And Dimitri 😭😭😭did he literally "take a bullet" to save Dedue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and still has scars? No wonder Dedue's so loyal. Some kid he didn't know did that. That's one hell of an introduction.

And picturing little Dedue just resigned and angry and waiting to die and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, Dedue, you've repaid that debt ten-fold I'm sure.

Ahaha, Dimitri's doing the "you'd better accept your worth!" discussion this time lol.

Dear God these two. Now Dimitri's bringing up that Dedue busted him out of the jail.

I swear, these two have more of a plot off screen than some routes do on screen.

And now picturing Dimitri resigned and just ready to die. And then Dedue busts in. 😭😭😭

"That was nothing more than my duty as your vassal." Stop that Dedue. Dimitri doesn't want you to be his vassal. He wants more.

Holy shit.

"You are irreplaceable. Cherished." 😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊

Not to be that person - but I tell all my "friends" that.

Yes, Dedue, stop saying insisting you're just a "vassal" - that's a worse joke than Alois' puns from earlier.

"Please . . . do not look at me that way." What way, like you're about to make Dimitri cry, or like . . .

"You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood." - shit, man, these two. I just . . .

OMG so much emotion from Dedue. The only time I ever heard that before was in VW when he learned Dimitri died. But let's not remember that right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh shit. He called him "Dimitri." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

And it made him blush.

OMG.

Guys, these two.

Aww, Dimitri looks so surprised. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Oh, these two are so soft for each other. I can't. I just can't.

"To be your friend . . . is what I have always wanted." You're going to get it.

Man, I feel almost guilty S-Supporting Dimitri. He needs to pair up with Dedue pronto.

Dimitri sounds chocked up. OMG.

"So please call upon me when you walk alone at night." Ok. Dedue. Ok. Yes. Guys. This is all very straight.

I'm not saying it's - you know - cannon, but there's some big feels here.

Oh, Dimitri, stop it. You like Dedue's overprotectiveness. Don't lie.

Man, you guys were so right. Dimitri really just came out and said Dedue was "cherished" and "irreplaceable." Like, I'm not making this stuff up. And Dedue blushing hardcore just saying Dimitri's name.

They're both just so soft. I can't. I literally cannot. This support was gold. It was worth all they hype.

And learning more about how they meant. Dimitri really taking a bullet for Dedue there. I just . . .

I just want all the happiness for both of them. They're really something special towards each other. Like I legitimately think this is one of the most two-way loyal relationships in the whole franchise, and definitely the tightest bond in this game.

Like in past games you had Seth for Ephraim and Erikia and Soren for Ike and it's not like Ike, Ephraim and Erikia and etc don't care, but it wasn't the same level, you know? But this is such a two way street.

And I'm so weak for bodyguard with a crush. Like Seth/Eirika? Yes. Geoffrey/Elincia? 100%. Riza/Roy (Fullmetal Alchemist) there again. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top ones. Even Merlin/Arthur sort of counts even if Arthur doesn't know Merlin's his bodyguard lol.

I need to read fanfic for these two. I really don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying. They're both just so sweet, and I just really love their dynamic. I really want to do a write up on it once I get to the end of the game.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dimitri fire emblem #fe3h #fe16

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canyouhearthelight · 3 years

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The Miys, Ch. 152

I’m not going to jinx it, I’m not going to jinx it, I’m not going to jinx it...

Okay, maybe I am. I managed to queue up the chapters I had in the barrel! Yay!! Which also means that I have a super duper exciting chapter coming up, which I can’t wait to write and can’t wait for y’all to read. I just need it to be perfect.

That said, thank you to @baelpenrose and @charlylimph-blog for your help with this particular chapter. I love when we are all three in one of these sessions and just descending into chaos in the chat. Also, @mamayoda (who I can’t tag but I do want you to know I see your likes in my notes!) for love-bombing my notes recently.

“Is it just me or is everyone really jumpy?” Charly asked as I set my food down across from her. It was our thrice-weekly lunch dates in one of the public mess halls, and she definitely had a point. I had already noticed three people scowl distrustfully at the food consoles, hugging closely to the prepared food side of the room instead.

I sighed. “It has to have been Derek’s stress test. It wasn’t supposed to impact systems we didn’t design, but…”

She snorted loudly. “Tell that to the week I spent taking cold showers again. At least this time, the doors didn’t play any music when I walked through them.”

“Did your doors at least open consistently? I was stuck in my quarters for a whole day until we figured out that I could walk through if I had an escort.” I laughed and shook my head before digging in to my food. “And, come to find out, we actually do manage the water systems, thanks to BioLab 2.”

Contrary to myself, Charly was entirely unperturbed at this revelation beyond sniffing her hoodie and shrugging. “My doors worked fine as far as I know, but Coffey and I tend to work the same hours, so… Maybe that was it. Oo!” Her cheer of enthusiasm caught me off guard as she started bouncing in her seat. “OOOOO! I bet he activated the routine Xiomara had running when you and Jokul weren’t friends yet!”

“There was a routine!?” I asked, exasperated. “I behaved, thank you. It wasn’t necessary.”

“Meh. Just in case. What do you think her deal is?” She tilted her head to the side, at a table near us.

Sure enough, the woman at that table was darting glances around the room, her shoulders hunched, elbows close to her body, eyes wide. I could practically feel her shaking from where I was. “I can’t tell if she looks suspicious or afraid,” I murmured, hoping the woman couldn’t hear me. “But the fact that I’ve met mice and chihuahuas who shook less, I’m going to go with afraid.”

As I watched the woman, weighing whether or not a stranger trying to comfort her would make it better or worse, Mona’s familiar face approached her instead. She was speaking softly enough that I couldn’t make out words, but the woman clearly recognized her and only jumped slightly.

I was so focused on the sight of Mona comforting the woman that I nearly hit the ceiling when Parvati’s voice came from entirely too close to my right shoulder. “Rebecca. She lost her family twice, first her parents, some cousins, and an uncle when the hack happened, and then her partner and children in the After. It’s understandable that she’s terrified right now, after the stress test. Too many bad memories.”

My face flushed in humiliation. “Pranav and Zach sent a ship-wide alert that the stress test was happening - “

A perfectly manicured hand clapped over my mouth, one dark eyebrow arched in eloquent disbelief. “Sophia. You of all people know that mental scars do not heed logic.”

Charly’s hair flew around her face as she nodded enthusiastically. “After day three of cold showers, I flinched every time I went through a door in case that stupid song started playing again, no matter how many times I reminded myself that it was a stress test and I had decidedly not given Derek boba tea again.”

Both my hands flew up in surrender. “I stand corrected, I just feel awful to see people react like that.” Gazing around the room, I was suddenly much more aware of all the darting eyes, protective postures, seats turned so that backs were against walls.

Charly had obviously seen the same thing. “We may need to talk to Pranav about limiting the tests to one or two systems at a time.”

“I wish we could,” I admitted, stabbing a potato out of my pie slightly harder than necessary. “His department was passing the tests with flying colors when Derek was limited to one or two systems at a time. But they failed this last test miserably, it turns out. As soon as they would react to one thing, Derek would switch to another system, and they couldn’t be everywhere at once as well as they convinced themselves that they could. And they can’t just be good at small scale attacks: the revolt that happened before the End brought everything down at once, from multiple access points. It was… kind of elegant, in a terrible way. Very clean.”

Charly squinted at me and Parvati in suspicion. “Are you supposed to know that they crashed and burned in the test.”

I rocked my hand back and forth while I chewed on a mouthful of crust. It had way too much butter in it, but at least it was actually crust this time. A week ago it had been something pretty close to paper mache. “Technically we don’t officially know that. Officially, all we know is that Pranav has requisitioned enough additional staff to increase his team of programmers by seventy percent.”

“Asses handed to them, got it,” Charly nodded in understanding.

“We also officially know that Pranav currently owes Hannah quite the enormous favor,” Parvati confided.

“How big?” Charly ventured slowly.

“Big enough that his grandchildren may be indebted to hers,” came the laughing response.

Charly shook her head and clucked her tongue. “He should know better than to bet against Derek. He breaks the systems for fun, and they asked him to really go for it. What did they expect?”

“Apparently to put up a better fight at least.” I forced a smile, but guilt weighed on my heart as I studied the room again, fully seeing the microexpressions of anxiety, fear, and anger. It felt like the entire Ark was constantly swinging between hope and fear. The random drills weren’t really helping, either.

“They aren’t,” Parvati agreed, letting me know that I had been thinking out loud. “Everyone is sleep deprived, on high alert, and then all of a sudden all the computer systems went on the fritz for a week.”

I sighed and rubbed my forehead, pushing what was left of my pot pie away from me, appetite gone. “We need to talk to Grey and Antoine about getting counselling for everyone, seeing as how Xiomara and Pranav pretty much just triggered the entire ship. I mean, everyone knows counselling is available, but I think allocating training and resources to the therapy teams is going to take priority over Pranav’s request for the moment.”

Charly tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Do we have the space for some quiet rooms, like you set up for the Food Festival a few years back? That may be a good idea.”

Snapping into work-mode, Parvati flicked her datapad open, bangles clattering as she started making notes. “The quarters left by those who relocated closer to the Archives are still uninhabited, those can be used. We may be able to convince some people to relocate so we can spread the rooms out more evenly, but even if we can’t, just having those rooms available will help.”

“Make a note to add in the proposal for Grey: possibility of having specific vendors permitted to serve food in BioLab 2. Encourage mental health days and picnics.”

Parvati nodded in acknowledgement of my request, before adding her own spin. “As a contingency plan, find vendors who will pre-package picnics. Between the current distrust of the consoles and the fact it will remind everyone of the annual Festival, the good emotions will help.”

“I like it,” I confirmed. “What else?”

“Paintball tag day in the corridors,” Charly announced, without preamble or warning. “Make it a holiday, everyone is off work, limit it to one end of the Ark.”

I shook my head. “Guns, not the best idea.”

“Ew, no. No pew-pew.” She wrinkled her nose. “I was thinking more paint-soaked splash bombs.”

Finger guns deployed, dual wielding. “I am so here for a paintball tag day in that case. The flavored paint?”

“Not the scotch bonnet please,” Parvati begged. “I just know someone will get that in the face, I don’t care how much Else likes it.”

“Got it, no more pepper spraying people,” Charly agreed seriously. “OOO! I could test the new arrows out! With something like buttered popcorn paint, obviously. Maybe kiwi on the other team.”

“Just limit the pull on the bows, okay? I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

“Fiiiiine…”

Parvati smiled and added to her notes. “So, we probably want someone to correlate the current date to whatever the date would be on Earth… Just in case we need to get a consultant for Holi.”

“Good point. Conor is alarmingly good at that, so I can ask him. It would be a nice cultural event if we could do that. If not, we can totally work on celebrating Holi when it comes around.”

“Final suggestion for right now, because I have to get back to work,” I sighed happily. “This is going to be the biggest ask, and the smallest at the same time…” Both nodded at me to continue. “Care packages, for everyone. And I mean everyone on the Ark.”

“Sophia,” Parvati scolded me. “That’s almost ten thousand people and sixteen animal companions.”

“Well aware,” I forged on, “We’ll talk to Sam about the bows, I can wrap them. Commission some of those really nice chocolates, or maybe some taffy from Simon. And something salty. I know there is someone on the Ark who makes aromatherapy candles, Tyche is bananas about them.”

Shaking her head, she added it to the list. “If you insist on that, I insist on a celebration for the drop out of FTL. Hannah and I can use some of the plans from the Food Festival, include Charly’s paint tag - “

“And Kink Night!”

“- and Kink Night, apparently… have several events going on across the Ark, since we already discussed declaring a holiday.”

“Get Bash’s permission to use the Undine again, and I won’t object,” I surrendered before standing. “On that note, I really do have to get back to work. Come on, Vati, we have work to do apparently.”

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#the miys #found family #humans are weird #science fiction #aliens #apocalypse #humans are space orcs #humans are space fae #earth is space australia #post apocalypse #post post apocalypse #original science fiction #original sci fi #original writing

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thotsforvillainrights · 3 years

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Hello so I had this random idea at 2am:

Everyone talks shit on Kai's anime hairline, right? What if he hears one of the bullets saying something and before he can take out his anger on them he sees his s/o drag them away (for example Kurono being an escort in public) and he just kinda goes to his office and sits there thinking over it and he gets insecure about it (and very confused why he's insecure about it.) And his s/o comes back and helps the man feel better about it.

Whatcha think? This possible to even happen?

(Is it possible to happen? Well it is now lol)

~Insecure Kai and His Hairline~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

4:00 p.m and the day was moving along swimmingly...well, as swimmingly as a day of business could go for the yakuza. Kai finished some morning paperwork, and set up a schedule to meet with another group that evening before his shift ended. He also scheduled a few shake downs for Setsuno, Hojo, and Tabe to handle. On top of that, he was busy moving a few things around to be pushed into other areas (he need not say). As he walked down the hallways feeling fairly proud of his achievements for the day, he caught wind of his name being thrown around from Deidoro’s mouth to Rappa. He usually didn’t care about small talk or gossip as long as the workers got their job done, but he was rather curious to see why he was apart of the conversation. Therefore, he paused and put his back against the wall just before the corner ended so he could listen to what his precepts might’ve been saying.

“I’m just saying, if I were him that I wouldn’t try that slick back style anymore. That shit looked a little ridiculous.” Deidoro spoke in between sipping his alcohol.

“Hey watch it! If the grand and might OverHOLE catches you saying that shit, he’ll have your head on a platter.” Rappa said sarcastically.

“Ah fuck it, what are the chances of that right? Besides, he’s been killing a lot less with Y/N around. Anyway, just hear me out. The boss looking a little good in Y/N’s eyes right? I hear it from random female and male and non binary yakuza members from other groups as well. They always mention his looks and how handsome he is. But like...that recent big ass meeting we had? His haircut was NOT fucking suited for the slick back look. His hairline is like the American basketball player Lebron James.”

“Damn man, I don’t like him either but I’m not gonna roast him this bad.”

“No serious! This aint a damn roast, it’s facts. I bet by the time boss hits 30, he’s gonna be balding.”

Both men laughed while Kai could feel his blood boiling. Was he some sort of fucking joke now?! Just because he had gone a little soft and started to show sympathy and appreciation for his men doesn’t mean he is to be taken lightly. He was slipping his gloves off at the very moment to go show Deidoro and Rappa a thing or two when suddenly your voice appeared.

“Deidoro! Get upstairs to the top level right now and clean that mess up you made, and I MEAN IT. Rappa, you’ve got to come with me today because we’re picking up some new furniture and Overhaul told me last week if we go through with it that I wasn’t allowed to lift it myself. Sorry bud.”

“Why apologize to me? I’m down for some heavy lifting any day!” And then silence as the three walked away. Kai could always wait until you leave with Rappa to handle Deidoro but there isn’t time to stalk and kill his employees. Plus this was confined talk so he’d fess up to eavesdropping and you’d probably get upset at him for it. He sighed in annoyance and stomped back to his office, silently hoping for someone to step out of line on his way so he could absolutely destroy them. Once back inside his office he buried himself in mindless busy-work to distract himself from the anger. It worked for a moment...but his anger had shifted from annoyance to some other feeling...in fact the feeling could best be known as insecurity. That couldn’t be right??? Could it? Throughout the day he found himself stopping to look at his hair in the small mirror inside his desk drawer. Eventually it became so constant that he shifted towards keeping the mirror propped up on his desk so he could work and keep peeking over and over. With each peek at his hair, his perception of himself shifted more and more until the voice in his head began nagging at him that this imperfection was real and it was very VERY obvious. At times it was the only thing he could see when he looked at himself. He couldn’t remember exactly what he looked like when the day began. He groaned and reached out to fling the mirror across the room. Just as you opened the door to greet him, it slammed against the wall next to you and shattered.

“Uhhhh...bad time?” You laughed nervously as he gripped the sides of his head and sighed. “Angel please leave...I’m not feeling very well and I think I’m sick.”

“Oh stop it, you know I can tell when you’re really sick. Anyway, I was just coming down here to tell you I was heading out to get furniture. I’m bringing Rappa with me like you asked, but I figured I could bring Deidoro instead of Nemoto since Shin has stuff to do back here and Rappa seemed attached at the hip with Deidoro today.”

“Do as you wish with them. I could care less if they died...”

“Okay now I know something is up. Chisaki please talk to me, I don’t like it when you feel like you have to hide stuff from me. I can see you’re bothered by something and I don’t think Pops or the other group’s leader will like the meeting coming up with you being so dismissive on things. Please talk to me?”

He sighed and looked up at you with dull eyes. “Angel...am I still attractive to you?” Kai silently begged you’d have the answer he wanted. “Kai if you ever ask me a question that stupid again, I will physically harm you.” He smirked and shook his head. “Well of course you’d think that. Just earlier I caught Deidoro and Rappa speaking about the current state of my hairline today and-”

“Ohhhh Oh my Gosh they were talking about it upstairs earlier and it was so funny I...” You paused when you saw his lip just barely jutting out in a pout from under his fabric mask. “Oh my God Kai, that was just locker room teasing. They were just making jokes is all. They sit around and roast everyone to keep from being bored. Y’know I didn’t think you were the type to take someone so seriously over this type of thing ESPECIALLY not Rappa and Deidoro of all people! Listen, you know as well as anyone else that not everyone is going to have a good opinion on you. I learned a long time ago that as along as I think I’m hot then no one else matter. Besides, it’s okay to get a little insecure sometimes since it’s human nature, but don’t you EVER forget how sexy you are. And anyway, I don’t know what they’re talking about hair for. Rappa’s shit is so matted up in the back, it looks like he’s starting dreads. And Deidoro...if he reached up and pulled his hair back, he would have a 12 head instead of a forehead.” You said nonchalantly while looking down at him sitting in silence. He slowly reached up to hug you with one arm before thanking you for your kindness.

“Thank you Angel.”

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #shie hassaikai #eight bullets #eight expendables #eightfold cleansers #Eight Precepts of Death #yakuza #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #overhaul #rappa kendou #rappa kendo #deidoro sakaki #sakaki deidoro

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clandestine-j · 3 years

Text

GOSSIP GIRL, EP. 5 REACTION & REVIEW

alright

this episode was pretty good, i'm here for this vibe if they continue with it. lots of shit happened, i have feelings about it so lets go!

(this episode also helped me discover i really am a horrible person lol)

ADULTS:

NICK X KATE: Nope! Full stop, don't want it. Bitch you nasty for being friendly with him while posting about his daughter. Nick x Davis is the true otp.

JORDAN & CO: JAIL. Plain and simple, ya'll enjoying this too much. Jail. Please. I beg. Ya'll are sick. A gun in a school and you're Bruce Wayne? Bitch.

KATE: As stated above and addition, I started to be cool with you. You still have to go jail but after serving time, I might be cool with you afterwards. Then you flip flop again went back to doing the worst. Limiting the comments doesn't help. Raggedy.

RAFA: PRISON. And let me tell you, my boy, Aki, he got Fox News in the back of his pocket so, step the fuck back. That's why Max figured yo ass out. GO TO PRISON. PRISON. And he tried to play him for a fool at the end. Prison isn't enough, vanish.

KIKI: SIS! You gotta get it together for your daughter. She can't be the more but, I feel you. Do better, be better. It's not as easy as just saying it but if you have family you can rely on, start to rely. You're daughter her habits from you.

OUR KIDS:

JULIEN: BIG SISTER ENGERY THIS EPISODE. I'M LOVING IT AND LOVING IT. I think she can stop trying a bit now and but I'm here for the connection, I'm here for it all. Quick thinker, knew the circle wasn't tight. She wasn't really there for Audrey but she has been, I think she just got caught up. Since Zoya moved there, they haven't had the chance to just be sisters, to just love each other without any drama. They have not only the past month to make up for but years and she wants to do right by Zoya. I'm glad she realized at the end that, she needed to be there for Audrey but I'm not upset because I get it. I also LOVE that she finally, stood up to Monet and say and get wit it or get it out. Boom. I've been waiting.

OBIE: I wanna ride hard for you because people keep talking about your hair line. I think you need to learn that relationships will have ups and downs and it won't be perfect all of the time. I feel like Obie is chasing perfection, no fights, no problems, just coasting and it won't happen, it'll never happen. Do better. That being said, I'm glad we got something from Obie. I'm glad we got to see him being the Prince of New York. It's hella shady that you didn't just come out with the truth and you wanted to do a song and dance but Obie is doing more and using that name so yes, give me character stuff.

MONET: BYE. No, but really. Amazing one liners as always. I liked the little fight with Julien, I felt a bit of distress, I'm into it. While I did expect her to cross Julien, I didn't expect her to cross Luna and all her hard work, that was dirty but you moving the story and shit so what can I say? I don't think Monet will go for the crown but I could see her finding someone to prop up. I want more of her parents, maybe she has a very bad relationship with her mom? Also, sis, Julien is right, you can't keep jumping clients when they want to change and do up their image. No sis, no. (And you almost tanked Julien's career soooooooooooo)

AUDREY: SIS U WERE SINKING. Okay, so Audrey isn't a character I feel that connected too. She's bitchy, a little less than Lunet but still. So, I have a hard time caring but objectively, you should break up with Aki. You know him by now and maybe it's comfort or you really want to have something. It's okay, break up with him because he's a friend and not the boyfriend you need. You want someone who will let you vent, not solve. Not see. Go live with Julien. The fight with your mom is understandable (And realize that forcing people on her won't work.) because you shouldn't have to be the back bone of the family. The dad line was a low blow, the airport thing was a low blow but you're a teenage girl and what can I say? Nothing, just don't become the woman you hate even though parents are the models. That being said, if I had seen her interacting with her dad more, the line wouldn't have been as low. But I can't tell that he loves her, we don't even get a phone conversation. Do better writers. And I think at the party, she got a chance to see how her mom felt. I don't know what happened to move but I think it has something to do with her meds. Audrey, be a boss. Break up, tell him that ya'll are better as friends because it won't go has bad as you think it will. Move in with Julien (I just want to see it happen.)

ZOYA: I don't even have much to say. My sis was popping off this episode. I got sass, I got questioning her relationship with Obie. Yes, talk about how you feel about him with the girls and go girl stuff. I really felt her when she said she wanted her own friend, writers please give her, her own friends. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING. Simon, you dirty dog. I'm glad Obie got it out but he could've said something to her. I'm sick. I'm more upset that he wasn't a new friend or a love interest. Just ugh. But I liked Zoya this episode, she could worry about normal teenage stuff for the most part without having to worry about being attacked by Monet and Luna.

LUNA: MY GOOD SIS. Just like I didn't expect Monet to turn on her, I didn't expect her to not stand by Monet. I know she was enjoying the Zoya vibe and thought it was cute, she was becoming a bit more friendly sure but I wow, yas. Go off girl. I want to see more of fashion stylist Luna, a Luna sponsored fashion show where Aki models and drama happens? I'd be here for it, I am here for it.

MAX: I was ready to box. Listen. I was ready to fight this point as much as I felt for him. So, the feeling for him. He honestly, believes that Rafa is good for him. And he was catching feelings? He thought Rafa needed him in his life because he had no family, he also has no family in a sense to him at least. So, he's really caught up in this man. And I feel so bad that he said he's sober when he's with him or something along those lines. That's heartbreaking. I'm glad that talk in the end pulled him out of it, I'm glad he realized that he had a hand to play in his friends not wanting to be around him or deal with him. I'm glad he followed them and was in on the hug. Wonderful. Now my dude, you do not deserve Aki, not as a romantic partner or a friend. My boy was seriously worried, and you blew down on him WHILE using a nickname for his nickname....sick. I was ready to throw hands, like. My spirit was not right. That was so low. I keep seeing people say that because Max wasn't in a relationship, Audrey shouldn't feel some type of way and Aki is just letting his hurt roll off because he's worried but while you didn't have a duty in the relationship, you had a duty as a friend, to both of them. You ghost for a week and say nothing, no talking about the blow up or the outing and you running with this little stanky thing, you try to ease back into the group, no. And you still don't deserve Aki's time. Like. My dude did not hit you up after the kiss, he was not checking for you on that dating app, he was interested in other mens, you sat between the couple. Okay. He had been checking on you from jump. Just no. I'm sick of the shit. Never step to my boy like that again.

AKI: MY boy. Lemme get this out the way. You need to listen, not solve or give perspective. Like, she doesn't need it. I get your friends in danger but express how serious you think this is to her. I get that a long-distance relationship might not bother you and you think things will work out because there are bigger problems but talk to her. Re-assure her. Or break up with her her. As I said before, ya'll will not hate each other if you break up. And learn to just, even, pretend or something but you struggle in this aspect. Do better. That being said, Aki, episode MVP. He said, something is off, take him down. My perfect himbo man, said not my watch. And listen, you can't be as pushy because people don't respond but I'm glad you were on it. You knew. You said, I'mma run up on this man and you did. Yes. That being said, stand up for yourself, this boy does not deserve your energy. I get it. You might have a crush, this is bestie but bestie has not been treating you right for a while. And this was a new love. You're too loving, let some of that going at Rafa energy pop out around the friend group. But you a king and you care so much, just re-focus for now. Find you a cute lil thang and make the boy jelly. I need this resolved before I can accept anything canon, fanfics is where I'll be. But overall, Aki was making moves, you gotta learn something from the right wing media mogul.

GROUP: I finally feel like I talk about them as a whole. I wish they would've shown the others being upset by Max's ghosting because ya'll acting lowkey outta pocket and I didn't see anyone but Audrey and Aki check for this boy. Like, do you really care? But he fit into the group hug at the end. I know Monet saw a rising star in Zoya at the bar place, you make this a powerful DUO. YOU KNOW YOU WERE FEELING HER. Luna and Monet roll their eyes Audrey but ya'll bet not play like the three of ya'll don't enjoy gossip, fashion, talking about people and lowkey making fun of Zoya's newbie-ness together. Honestly, I'm happy we got more group interactions and little moments, I can start to kind of see how they were friends for a while even if all of them aren't close.

Random Thoughts:

how was your son missing for two weeks on and off and there isn't more panic, you different but oh no heartbreak

aki is so loving towards everyone's parents, i love it

i also love that he assumed max was with aki

audrey as the child as it worse but her kiki's acting makes me feel for her more lol

the two girls were a bit of fun, i'd like to see monet take them down or build them up for fun

"i'm chuck bass" + the lil pull was great

i feel like max was already thinking about them becoming more when he mentioned audrey pushing him out but i'll take crumbs so he was probs just thinking about sex or the group as a whole

kate get out of nick's life, nick keep her out

zoya stop talking to that woman

jordan eww no, you can have kate

i'll ship obie and aki to get aki with someone that likes him and loves him, they talk, they have do something, i'll take it, whatever

i want throuple and i want akimax but not like this, i can't take the threesome scene unless max say's sorry and aki ducks him for half the episode if it's not that, i don't want it

maybe it's the start of a dream and it ends

(i do really want the ship but i don't trust the writers or the characters)

SIMON, I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

who or what was max suppose to be?

why am i getting teachers and not family, i've seen jordan just one too many times

rafa prison

obie had shit to do this episode, use the money, i wanna see it

when will a student or random party gain control of gossip girl, give me that

rafa prison

i also think i’m a horrible person because i care more about stopping rafa than audrey’s home life so i was rooting for aki

overall, solid episode, maybe the footing has been found? i'm here for it and ep 6 looks like it's about to pop off

#c;gg #gossip girl reboot #gossip girl hbo #akeno menzies #max wolfe #zoya lott #monet de haan #audrey hope #luna la #obie bergmann iv #julien calloway

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anonymous0writer · 4 years

Text

Truth Or Dare

Author: @anonymous0writer

Requested: Yes!

“Hey I had a request for a JJ x reader fic where the pogues are playing truth or dare and John b knows that someone’s been screwing around in his van so he asks JJ who not only confirms it was him but drags the reader down under the bus with him”

Warnings: Very light mentions of sex. Underage drinking.

Summary: You and JJ have been messing around for a long time. And tonight's a night for truth.

A/N: I’m trying something different, by writing in third person.(I only did that in the beginning. I know I switch the narrative a little bit and I’m sorry for that! I hope it made sense!) Also this is much longer that it needed to be! Thank you anon! :)

This fic is dedicated to @jayjaymaebank! Love you Kier!! <3

I am getting through all the requests! I promise! And I’m so sorry I’m not getting them out fast! I know you’re probably mad at me and I’m sorry!

JJ Maybank was a boy known to have any girl he wants. However, there was one that he never thought he would have. That girl was Y/N Y/L/N.

To JJ, she was perfect. Tan skin from days surfing and swimming. Bright, happy eyes that glowed in the sunlight. A smile that would light up the room and make everyone in a two mile radius smile too. A laugh that sounded like wedding bells and was highly contagious. A sense of humor that topped his own, a vibe that was even better than his. A wild side that made JJ catch his breath every time. A personality that had everyone falling in love.

And he never thought he’d have you.

Until two months ago. When you had stumbled into him at a Boneyard party, seemingly drunk. (You were really just laughing too hard at Pope’s comment to think straight. But in fairness, you had two drinks, but you had a good immunity to alcohol, so you weren’t fazed.) You had grinned at the blue eyed boy, making him soften.

“JJ! There’s my favorite boy!” You laughed. “You know I’m in love with you, right?”

You were feeling very bold that night, and upon feeling this way, you confessed your feeling. Admittedly, the presentation of them was like a joke, but still. Your heart still clenched and you still held you breath.

“What?” JJ sputtered, caught off guard at the words he’d ached for you to say for almost a full year.

“I’m in love with you.” You said more seriously, your eyes flickering with something JJ couldn’t place.

JJ being JJ kissed your cheek and nodded. “Alright, Ms. Alcohol.” His blue eyes danced with amusement mixed with sadness.

But you frowned, shaking your head. He didn’t understand. You weren’t drunk, and the bad feeling in your stomach was increasing the more time went by. You were confessing your long held feelings and the blonde boy was just passing it off as drunk thoughts.

“I’m not drunk, J.” You protested, voice hard with seriousness.

The laughing, easy atmosphere vanished. JJ’s blue eyes bore into yours.

“You love me?”

“I’m not kidding, JJ.”

All thoughts were thrown out the window at your words. So JJ did what JJ did best. Kissing. JJ leaned forward, lips on yours in a second. The kiss was tentative and soft. Unsure if this was even real. But JJ knew it was real the second he felt you kiss back. He felt on top of the world at the pressure of your lips on his.

You pulled back, trying to catch a breath. “Wait, are-”

“Should we keep this secret?” JJ answered, knowing you far too well.

“We aren’t allowed to mack, J.”

“I don’t care.” He breathed and pressed another kiss to your lips. “As long as I can kiss you, I’m okay.”

You grinned, but pulled back a little. So you two looked like friends. Not a couple. “We gotta keep this away from the Pogues. Kie would freak.”

“God you’re hot.” The blonde boy complimented you, while ignoring your comment. You blushed and looked at the sand, wriggling your feet in the warmth of the tiny grains.

But before you could kiss the boy again, Kie was calling your name, making you pull away from the boy you’ve been in love with for a year. You glanced back to see the surfer still staring after you. You giggled softly and winked. You were now secretly macking on JJ Maybank. The one boy you thought you could never have.

You sat around the fire, surrounded by your friends. Pope on was your right, sharing a log with you. His bare feet were stretched in the sand, reaching for the warmth of the fire John B. had coaxed to life. Kie sat huddled to your side. She was talking adamantly about the problems with the planet. John B. was on the other side of the fire, pretending to be working hard on the fire so he couldn’t get schooled by the girl next to you. However JJ wasn’t as lucky, and he was getting a talking to.

You caught JJ’s eyes, smirking. JJ and you had been sneaking around for months now. Macking and sneaking kisses and quickies in when you could. You loved it, but wished it wouldn’t have to be a secret. But part of you feared JJ wouldn’t want to be in a relationship anymore once it got validation.

The blue eyed boy gave you a look that screamed “Help!” but you just added to the fire, by asking Kie a question that sent her off again. You loved Kie’s rants, but right now, it was funnier to see your secret boyfriend suffer as he nodded along to the curly haired girls words.

“Y/N.” You glanced up to see John B. extending a red solo cup to you. You smiled and grabbed the cup, pulling the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands. Actually, it was Pope’s sweatshirt, but you’d stolen it a while ago and Pope had given up on getting it back only for you to steal it again. You loved sweatshirts, and you had plenty, but Pope’s were special. They were always bigger than you, and you loved bigger sweatshirts. Plus, you always loved stealing things from the boys to tick them. You’d steal from John B. too, but the boy didn’t wear many sweatshirts, and if he did, he never kept track of them. And JJ- well, you couldn’t steal from him now, because it’d be a red flag. And JJ never wore sweatshirts, and stealing his shirts just for his smell would make Kie ask questions.

You take a sip of the drink, blinking and sputtering against the strong alcohol sloshing in your gut. John B. smirks at you reaction and you shove his shoulder, making him fall back onto the log. He laughs, taking a bigger, hearty swig of his drink than you. Showing you up. You glare and take another sip, bigger than your first, but you still sputter. Your little game of showing each other up continues, until the pogues catch on.

“What the hell are you doing?” Kie asks, eyebrows raised as she watches the two of you tip your drinks back farther.

“Maybe you should..” Pope trails,

“Whoa there, Y/N. Slow down.” JJ’s blue eyes find yours. He’s worried for you. because when you get drunk, you get bad. You’re usually unfazed with a couple drinks, but whatever John B. concocted is strong.

“I’m fine. We’re just playing a game.”

Pope scoffs. “Yeah whoever can get shitfaced faster.”

You roll your eyes, but Kie plucks the cup out of your hand. You gape at your best friend as she sniffs the drink, frowning. “I was winning!” You protest.

“I don’t care how much you can drink without getting drunk, Y/N, doesn’t mean you can drink it all.”

You roll your eyes and pout as the loss of your drink. But your disappointment is cut short as the honey eyed boy across from you jumps up. The rest of you stare up at him as he runs a hand through his curly hair.

“We’re playing truth or dare.” John B. says, but it’s more of a statement as he doesn’t leave room for debate.

You prod Kie in the ribs, intent on annoying her into giving you your drink back since begging the girl won’t work. Kie slaps your hand away and shuts you up by tipping the rest of the contents into her throat. You give a tut of disbelief. Kie smiles and hands you the empty cup.

“Be sure to recycle, Y/N.”

You shove her shoulder a little bit, but let your eyes flicker to John B. who’s giving JJ a wicked smirk. A smirk that tell you the boy knows something. Your heart squeezes hard as fear strikes you still. Why is he looking at JJ like he knows a secret?

“Alright, bubba.” John B. addresses his blonde friend. “You’ve you been fucking in my van?”

JJ coughs as you go still. Shit. John B. knows something. But your boyfriend laughs, shaking his head. Kie’s brows raise as she stares at JJ with her questioning dark eyes. Pope snorts because this is classic JJ. After all, they don’t know that JJ doesn’t bring a random girl from a kegger to John B.’s van to fuck. For two months, it’s been the same girl he took to heaven.

“I didn’t choose truth, John B.” JJ takes a sip, trying to aviod the question because he knows the pogues. Kie will freak. John B. will ban you two from the house and make faces when he realizes it was you two in his van. Pope would be surprised but then tease you constantly.

“Doesn’t matter, you’ve been fucking someone.” John B. shrugs, waiting.

JJ runs his hand through his hair, realizing he can’t get out of this.

“JJ?” Kie prods.

JJ’s blue eyes flicker up to meet yours for a split second before his lips curve into a smirk. A dangerous smirk.

“Alright. It’s Y/N.”

Kie gasps at the same time as your eyes go wide. The boys startle, and Pope’s eyes land on you.

“Bullshit.” John B. calls, honey eyes dancing between you and JJ.

You’re at a loss for words, shocked. After two months, JJ revealed you two to the world. And he seemed... proud. Not afraid or like he was going to bolt, like he feared.

“No dude.” JJ stands, smirking at you. “Y/N’s favorite spot is the van, isn’t baby?”

You gape, a blush rushing to your cheeks. You thought you told your boyfriend that in confidentiality, but apparently not. Your cheeks flame as the surfer winks at you.

“Oh shit!” Pope laughs.

“What about no pogue on pogue macking?” Kie desperately tries to remind you of the rule you and JJ forgot to care about a long time ago.

“Oh my god! Y/N? Really?!” John B. groans, making a face. “Why the van?”

You bury your face in your hand, positive this is the most embarrassed you’ll be your whole life. There is no way another moment can top what you feel right now. A warm arm is thrown over your shoulders, and a familiar voice curls in your ear.

“What? We’re out now, aren’t you happy?” JJ asks, blue eyes crinkling with amusement as you peek at him.

“Fuck you!” You glare and shove him.

He tips for a second and laughs, grinning like a fool. You frown. It was a horrible way to break it to your friends, and the boy beside you is taking it in a stride. You glance up to meet Kie’s still shocked expression.

“Alright- I get it. No one listens to me.” Her lips purse for a second. “How long has...” She gestures between you and JJ with a hand. “..this been going on?”

“Two months.” You manage to squeak out, still incredibly embarrassed about JJ’ comment about you and the van.

Pope laughs as John B. gags. “Goddamit it, JJ!” The boy shakes his head. “You probably contaminated my whole fucking house.”

“You wish you got that lucky!” The surfer shoots back, arm still tight around you.

You’re still nervous about everyone’s reaction. Especially Kie. John B. seems to accept it and Pope seems cool, but you peek gingerly at the girl. Kie seems to be thinking.

“Kie?” You voice, grabbing her attention, trying to drown out the boys bickering around you. “Are you mad at me?”

“No. Well, I’m upset you didn’t tell me sooner, but no.” She gives you a smile, making you relax.

“We kinda figure something was happening when you asked for JJ to teach you new moves.”

John B. scoffs, talking about the time when you asked JJ to help you learn new moves on the surf board. You laugh and arch a brow.

“Why is that?”

“Why else would you ask the worst surfer to help you?” John B. grins, telling you silently he’s not made either.

But JJ’s mad at him, because a few seconds later a empty beer can is flying at the boy. John B. bats it away with a roll of his eyes as Pope speaks it up,

“It was going to happen anyway.” The dark haired boy shrugs. He explains when you all look at him with surprise. “You’ve been crushing on each other for a year practically.”

“Wait, wait!” Kie laughs. “Who confessed feelings first?”

You smirk. “Me.”

John B. whistles. “Damn JJ.”

“Y/N got the balls in the relationship.”

JJ rolls his eyes, but his hand drops to your waist to tug you close. You snuggle into his warmth, night falling fast, and with it, the temperature. The conversation slowly eases back into truth or dare. Conversations flows easily, along with the alcohol in your veins. Laughter sparks loudly even as the fire starts to die, the night becoming darker. And eventually you are dared to go jump in the water, fully clothed. You come back sopping wet, but grinning like a fool. Not because you just won the twenty bucks your boyfriend bet that you wouldn’t do it, but for another reason.

Because you are JJ are a couple. And finally out. And your friends are mad. And JJ didn’t run away. That’s why you are grinning like your on top of the world.

Because you are on the top of the world.

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onedoodleaday · 3 years

Text

Review of 6 creative prompt books

Can't get enough prompts? I sure can't! I have a horrible urge to buy any and all books I see that have any sort of theme related to creative prompts, and I've amassed quite the collection over the years.

Today, I'm going to review some of them!

All of the following books are meant to be drawn in directly, which (at least ideally) makes them very satisfying to leaf through once you've worked in them for a while.

I will be making a separate post showcasing how I've personally used each book and link to it here, in case any if them pique your interest and you'd like to know more (coming soon!)

Books I am reviewing:

365 days of art by Lorna Scobie (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️ Four out of five stars)

642 things to draw by chronicle books (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ five out of five stars)

642 fashion things to draw by Chronicle Books (⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️▪️ Three out of five stars)

Doodle a day by Chris Riddell (⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️▪️ three out of five stars)

Hirameki: Draw what you see by Peng and Hu (⭐️⭐️▪️▪️▪️ two out of five stars)

Illistration by Jaime Zollars (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️ four out of five stars)

Warning: this is a very long post

365 days of art

By Lorna Scobie

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️ Four out of five stars

What I like about it:

There's a great variety of prompts in this one. The prompts are mostly simple and straightforward, with space for doing your own thing. Most of the exercises also happen to appeal to me personally.

The prompts are designed for being able to be completed quite quickly, which makes them very accessible for me, and of course, you can get more elaborate with them if you have the time and energy (I've spent the last five days adding details to fish, just because I wanted to).

The author uses the foreword to encourage you to use the book in whatever way you personally find the most fun, which I appreciate.

Most of the prompts feel like they're focusing on practice rather than results, which means it's open for all skill levels to enjoy.

Criticism:

While I do hold that this book can work for artists of all skill levels, it does have prompts that are meant to teach you something, and while I like some of them, there are some that feel targeted towards either less experienced artists, or artists who has, or strives towards, a similar art style to that of the author. A couple of times, I have felt that my art style did not match the exercise set up, and while I still managed to have fun with them, I did wish there were more space for (in my case) a more realistic art style.

On a similar note, there are sections geared towards calligraphy, and they start at the very basics. While I personally am a beginner, I can imagine that someone with experience would find these bits both boring and redundant.

I will also mention that the book does encourage the use of different kinds of media, so you either have to be ready to break out some different tools or bend the prompts a bit if all you have is a pencil.

Recommended for beginner and intermediate artists, people who really like prompt books. Good for a little bit of daily practice with many different styles of art. Good for people who like patterns and colours in their art.

Recommended tools: brush pen, water-based paint, coloured pencils

642 things to draw

By chronicle books

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ five out of five stars

Of all the prompt books I have, this is my favorite. Hands down.

What I like about it:

This book is just prompts. No hand-holding, no presets for what to do with it, they just give you something to draw and you go from there. All you need is a pencil and your imagination. There are both straightforward prompts (a bottle opener, a spool of thread) and more abstract ones (girlish laughter, head in the clouds) and the variety means I usually find at least one prompt I want to do on each spread.

The differing sizes dedicated to each prompt make for a really fun and pleasing result.

I also appreciate that this book is completely open to all skill levels, as long as you're willing to give a go at drawing a lot of different things.

Criticism:

While I personally adore the to-the-point, straightforward prompts, I do acknowledge that, unless you enjoy just drawing random objects, you're going to need to add some creativity on your own, in how you incorporate the prompts. I personally like adding either character interaction or to use the object as part of a scene, especially for the things I don't find super visually interesting on their own. I personally enjoy the level of thinking, but I'm sure there are people who don't.

I also don't know if I would have enjoyed it as much when I was just starting out. I’ve always been quite result-based with my art, and while I think using reference to draw all the different things in the book would be an amazing skill-building exercise, it also sounds like a lot of work.

There are also a handful of pop culture references and prompts for famous people, which I personally prefer to avoid, because those are often based on social knowledge and interest, of which I personally have neither.

Recommended for artists of all skill levels, people who either have a big visual library or would like to build one. Recommended for people who like to draw a lot of different things.

Recommended materials: anything! Can be used with just a pencil

642 fashion things to draw

By Chronicle Books

⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️▪️ Three out of five stars

This one was actually my first prompt book ever! The start of a hoard, one might say.

What I like about it:

This one is another one by Chronicle Books, in the same series. This one is really fun if you like drawing clothes, and/or your art is character oriented. Of all my prompt books, this one has the best potential for fanart, in my opinion. If you like drawing people and characters, this book is really fun

Criticism:

This one is, quite understandably, more specific. If you like drawing clothes, this one is ideal. If you don't ... don't pick this one.

I was close to giving this one four stars, but I will withdraw a star for being very specifically tailored to one subject -- this could be a five star book for some people and a one-star for others.

Another thing I want to mention is that this book gets specific. I have to look up what about a third of the prompts mean. I'm okay with that, but if you don't want to do research and don't already know what a jaquard blouse or peplum waist skirt or houndstooth is, this is not the book for you.

Lastly, it has a good handful of both pop culture references and references to different brands, which is kind of alienating to me personally. It also assumes that you yourself care about your own clothes to some extent. And that you have at least one father and one mother. Who got married at some point. And your mom wore a wedding dress. Things like that.

Also my copy is from 2013 and let's just say some of the references have aged very poorly. ("D*nald Tr*mp power suit" being a very notable example. I drew him impaled on a stick. Which was satisfying. But it was very much an act of rebellion so keep it in mind)

Recommended for anyone who likes drawing clothes and the people wearing them, who are also willing to put up with a certain amount of heteronormativity in their prompt books. Some skill level will probably make the book more enjoyable. Clothes are hard.

Recommended materials: Anything! You can use this one with just a pencil

Doodle a day

By Chris Riddell

⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️▪️ three out of five stars

(Note: I own a translated version of the book; this is the danish cover)

Before we start, I would like to note that this book's target demographic is children. I’m not a children, I just thought it looked fun. And I was right! But do keep it in mind.

What I like about it:

This one doesn't take itself too seriously. Which means that in places, it gets wacky. And I appreciate that. It expects a child's untamed creativity and wish to go along with whatever.

A lot of the prompts are really fun and inspiring for me as an adult. There are a lot of "complete this drawing" sort of things that get me to draw things I don't usually draw.

It's nice to see a book geared towards children that dares to have a very detailed and complex art style. Whether you personally like Chris Riddell's art style is very subjective, but he's good at what he does.

Criticism:

You have to enjoy drawing along with what the author enjoys. We're talking robots and fairy tales and dancing bears. This book has less room for letting you steer the prompts in a direction that you personally like, which is good if you like to be told exactly what to draw. It is less good if, like me, you prefer your prompt-based art to have space for a lot of your own creativity and preferences.

I've personally marked down the prompts I want to do with tape, and I'm planning to just plain skip the rest. This means about two thirds of the book that I'm just not planning on using. I'm okay with this! But I want to mention it.

The book also contains quite a lot of 'free days', which I always find disappointing. I came here specifically because I didn't want to make up my own stuff. Please. Tell me what to do, I beg of you.

I will also note that this book assumes that you have some sort of family that are present in your life to the point that you want to include them in your drawings, and that you have at least one friend who wants to partake in certain of the prompts.

It also assumes cultural Christianity, having prompts for easter and christmas and halloween and so forth, with no other holidays mentioned. It's a little uncomfortable.

Recommended for people who like silly prompts and are very adaptable in their art. Probably really good for younger kids? I was a weird child, so my point of view might be skewed. Decide for yourself if this book is worth getting for you or someone you know!

Recommended materials: something to draw with, and something to colour with.

Hirameki: Draw what you see

By Peng and Hu

⭐️⭐️▪️▪️▪️ two out of five stars

The classic exercise of using vague blobs and turning them into drawings

What's I like about it:

The concept is really good. The idea of having a whole book of printed blobs to turn into drawings is so fun and appealing to me, as someone who loves having things in books.

I really like that they have certain categories and themes, to make things a little different. I love the idea of having a theme for a whole page of blobs (turning everything on one page into birds, for example), and what made me get the book was specifically that they have pages with just the same blob ten times over, and the challenge is then to make them all into different things.

Criticism:

This book is the marketable brand flavor of prompt books, trying to be what mindful colouring books did, but with another concept, preferably in a way they can copyright.

They're clearly trying to make pattern-making into a marketable invention rather than something that has been around since, like, literal prehistoric times. This would be little more than annoying and could probably be ignored, if it wasn't for the fact that the blobs aren't even ... random.

The creativity is killed, because these blobs are clearly made to look like certain things. Which is the opposite of the point, of the shapes-in-randomness exercise. They don't do this with every page, but it is, like. More than half. The page dedicated to faces have defined noses and necks. There’s a beach themed spread and the crabs have defined pincers.

I had the most fun on the intro pages, where there were no prompts, because that was the place where the blobs were truly random. These were not meant to be drawn on! They were decorations! I just did it anyway!

This is branded to be something that will allow you to be creative, but in reality, it is actually just a different way of playing connect-the-dots. And there's nothing wrong with connect-the-dots, but I was advertised something else and I'm disappointed.

Also, this is personal pettiness, but if you're going to make a gimmick out of every prompt rhyming, you have to actually know how to rhyme. "Gadget" and "uplug it" do not rhyme! Not even by a stretch!

I cannot recommend this book. The idea is good, and some of the pages I did enjoy filling out, but I would have gotten more out of just grabbing a blank sketchbook and adding some ink blots to every page, then started from one end.

Recommended materials: They specifically say that you have to use a pen that’s either blue or black. I used a bright red one just to be a contrarian.

Illistration

By Jaime Zollars

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️▪️ four out of five stars

This one is a little different -- it is essentially a make-your-own-prompts book!

What I like about it:

This book appeals right to my need to be part of the process, even when drawing for prompts. Basically, this book is all about producing creative lists of things to draw, and then illustrating your favorites.

I love how the author talks you through their process of creating each individual list to suit their own preferences, and encourages you to do the same, to create prompts that appeal directly to you.

I also really appreciate that this book fully assumes that the reader is just as capable as the author. It wants to teach you something, sure, but it doesn't outright assume that you've got more or less experience than the author. They're teaching you one specific way of generating ideas and that's what matters. The author is confident, but humble. I like that.

Criticism:

Honestly, this is a wonderful book. I wouldn't change anything about it. The only reason I subtracted a star is because it falls a little bit outside the category of a prompt book. It's a five-star book for what it is, but if you're just here to be told what to draw without having to make stuff up on your own, this one is not for you.

I can't just pull this one out, open it up and start drawing -- using this book is a project. I have to do at least half of the work myself, if not more. And I personally have fun with that, but it has to be noted.

Recommended for artists of any skill level, who like to generate their own unique ideas. This is the one I would be most likely to recommend to a dedicated artist, or a professional.

Recommended materials: whatever you prefer to draw with, and something to write with.

-------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!

If you found this review helpful and want to fund me and my constant purchasing of prompt books, you can tip me on TheNearsightedMicroraptor on Ko-fi!

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sunshine-stars · 3 years

Text

Deja vu

Flynn remembers some of her happy memories with Carrie. Then they see her Instagram posts with Kayla doing the same things.

Inspired by Deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo

Word count: 2707

Car rides to Malibu

“We’re going to Malibu? That’s awesome!” Julie exclaimes.

Carrie laughs a little. “Yeah, my Dad has to meet with some business people there and didn’t want to leave me alone so he invited you guys too.”

Flynn’s over the moon. They’ve been to Malibu a few times, most of them with Carrie and Julie, and it’s always so much fun. It’s about an hour one way and it means that they have a little road trip, which is always more than a little chaotic.

“You know I’m in,” Flynn answers, smiling. Julie agrees and they make plans to go the next day, after asking both of their parents.

“You’re stealing all of the sour keys! How dare you?” Flynn yells at Carrie. She knows that they’re her favourites and she’s eating them all, the traitor.

Carrie huffs. “Only because you’ve already eaten half of them and I want some too!” Her lips are slightly stained green and Flynn can’t help but look at them. They’re probably so soft.

“You’re just lucky that the green one’s aren’t as good as the orange one’s, or else I’d have to kill you,” Flynn replies after a beat too long.

Julie takes a sour key and between bites says, “You’re both wrong, the purple one’s are the best.”

“Of course you think so little miss purple,” Carrie teases.

Julie gasps. “Hey! Flynn’s the shortest, not me!”

“How did we get back to this?!” Flynn groans. “Weren’t we just talking about how Carrie’s a thief?”

“I am not! You’re the hoarder, you made me take them. Besides you being the shortest is so cute and fun.” Carrie raises an eyebrow with an evil little smile.

She’s obviously trying to get on Flynn’s nerves, and she’s succeeding, but why does Flynn’s heart speed up when she calls them cute? Why does her mind go blank for a second as they feel very happy?

She shakes her head a little to steady themself. “You do realize that you’re stuck in a metal box with me, right? Where I could kill you and no one would know. So I suggest you shut your mouth before I make you.”

Carrie coughs a little as her face goes slightly pink. Julie’s just looking knowingly at both of them. What just happened?

Carrie’s Dad turns around in his seat to look exasperatedly at them, though there’s a little smile on his face. “Settle down kiddos. Flynn please don’t kill my daughter, I love her. Carrie please don’t try to aggravate Flynn. Also why can’t you all just share the sour keys? You all like different flavours.”

“Because once Flynn finishes all of the orange one’s she eats all of mine and Carrie’s,” Julie responds like something weird didn’t just happen.

“It’s not my fault that there’s always less orange one’s! It’s not fair! Why aren’t you also telling off Julie she participated in this?” Flynn frustratedly and loudly says.

Carrie’s Dad sighs. “Julie wasn’t yelling and trying to annoy you two. Why do you and Care bear always get into silly arguments?”

Julie mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “It’s because these two idiots are in love with each other and won’t admit it.”

Flynn glares at her, but she just flashes her perfect little angel smile. Julie’s so sweet that no one expects her to be a little devil, it’s stupid.

Flynn suddenly realizes that Carrie has been very quiet. They turn to look at her and she gasps. There’s only one sour key left… and it’s an orange one.

“Bubblegum, Pinky Pie, Sappho, lollipop, sweetheart, love of my life can I please please have the last sour key?” Flynn quickly rambles.

They just have to get the last one and she’s not above begging for it. So what if her begging includes calling people sweet pet names to bribe them, and so what if they do it more with Carrie? It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a coincidence, right?

Carrie looks down and avoids their eyes, her cheeks turning even redder than before. Is she okay? Why has she been acting strange? Flynn has no idea, but they hope for the best.

“Well since you asked so nicely, soda pop.” Carrie hands her the sour key. If Flynn didn’t know any better they’d say she was flustered, but that can’t be right.

Flynn flashes Carrie a wide smile as they start to eat the delicious treat.

Strawberry ice cream, one spoon for two

“You said you didn’t want any ice cream.” Carrie crosses her arms and glares at Flynn.

“That was before I saw how good it looks, and I love strawberry. It’s like the best flavour and it reminds me of you.”

Julie sighs and looks at them disapprovingly, but also slightly amused. “Flynn honey, you said you didn’t want any because your stomach hurt from all those sour keys. Ice cream will only make it a lot worse.”

“I’m feeling better now,” Flynn argues. “Besides now that I want it it’s all that I’ll be thinking about. Do you really want me to be constantly thinking about and bugging you for ice cream? I have seven sodas all the time. It's fine.”

Flynn may have a massive sweet tooth, but how can she not when it tastes so good.

“That’s not healthy and I still don’t like it,” Julie scolds.

Flynn just shrugs in response. “Okay, mom.”

Julie throws her hands up in the air and Flynn turns back to Carrie with pleading eyes.

Carrie just sighs and passes it over. “You’re lucky I like you, babe.”

“I know, sweetie.” Flynn thanks the universe for it everyday. They have no idea where they’d be without Carrie, and frankly, they don’t want to know.

Flynn ignores the fluttering in her chest as they take a bite of the strawberry ice cream and almost moans. The cold sweet fruity taste is so refreshing on this warm day.

It’s a shame she has to share it with Carrie, they want it all to themselves. The thing is that Flynn would do anything for Carrie. Sharing ice cream with her is the least they can do for this truly amazing girl who somehow loves her.

And trading jackets

Carrie wraps her arms around herself. “This ice cream is making me cold.”

Well that’s not allowed. Carrie is this warm ray of sunshine in Flynn’s life and she’s just not allowed to be cold. Not when Flynn’s wearing a perfectly good jacket.

“Here take mine.” Flynn passes it to her with a smile.

It’s their jean jacket that has a bunch of patches and embroidery that Flynn either bought or made. There are lesbian and nonbinary flags that they all put on together after she came out, along with a hundred other things that all have a special meaning. It’s precious to her. If it were anyone else they’d be hesitant about letting someone wear it, but it’s Carrie, it’s a no brainer.

Carrie looks up at them, rubbing the fabric between her fingers. “Are you sure?” She has a hesitant and caring look on her face. She knows just how much Flynn loves the jacket.

“Of course, Sappho.”

Carrie smiles softly as she puts the jacket on. Flynn has to catch her breath. She’s wearing their jacket and she almost explodes.

For a second Flynn wishes that they were dating. That she was giving their girlfriend her favourite jacket. That she could wrap her arms around Carrie, kiss her perfect lips, and ramble about how gorgeous she looks and how her wearing their jacket makes her feel so happy. It’d be something out of one of those cheesy rom coms that they watch to make fun of, but secretly like.

Flynn’s daydream is interrupted by Julie’s laugh.

Laughin’ ‘bout how small it looks on you

“It’s so small on you,” Julie says between giggles.

Flynn looks at it again and sure enough it’s too small for Carrie. They’ve had it a couple years so it’s a little small on Flynn, but it’s too sentimental to throw out and it still fits. On Carrie the sleeves come up a bit too much above her wrists and she can’t really button it up.

It should be something for Flynn to laugh at like Julie, but it almost adds to the charm of Carrie wearing their jacket. The imperfections make it real. Besides, perfection never lasts. Robert Frost said “Nothing gold can stay,” but this isn’t gold. It’s as precious as it, but maybe, just maybe, this can last. This moment, their friendship, hopefully it can stay.

Watching reruns of Glee

“Seriously? Why is Rachel always in the spotlight? The rest of them have good voices too,” Flynn complains. Their legs are thrown over Carrie’s lap as they watch a random episode of Glee

Carrie scoffs. “I have no idea. I’m passionate about being a singer, but I’m not that self absorbed. You don’t always need to be the lead.” She leans back on the couch more. “Besides, I can sing better than her.”

Bein’ annoying

“Not self absorbed, huh?” Flynn teases.

They know that Carrie has an absolutely angelic voice that they’re constantly in awe of. She can definitely sing better than Rachel and she’d fight anyone who disagrees. It’s just that teasing Carrie is so much fun. Basically half of their relationship is bickering with each other. Julie says they act like a married couple, but she always sees stuff that isn’t there.

“Shut up.” Carrie moves Flynn’s leg off of her.

Flynn gasps and looks at Carrie with a horrified expression. “How dare you?! Do you not love me anymore?! Betrayal of the highest order! Dishonour! Dishonour on your whole family! Dishonour on you! Dishonour on your cow! I can’t even look at you right now. My heart… it hurts.” They dramatically turn away from her and sigh, acting hurt.

Flynn doesn’t even have to look at Carrie to know that she’s looking at them with an exasperated expression on her pretty face. After a minute she feels a body lay on top of them.

“Can you please stop being such a drama queen? Of course I love you, you idiot,” Carrie says quietly into their ear.

At that moment Flynn realizes just how close Carrie is to her. She’s pressed up against them and her face is literally a breath away from theirs. She has to fight not to get flustered at the fact that this gorgeous girl is oh so close to them and how they are so aware of her every little movement.

Flynn swallows. “Says you, and what happened to babe?” It’s the best thing she can come up with at the moment.

“You’re still the love of my life, soda pop, but when you’re being a bit of an idiot I’m gonna call you an idiot. It’s how it works hun.”

Carrie can’t just say that. Especially not when she’s this close to Flynn who feels like they’re going to combust. It’s just not fair how she doesn’t have a single coherent thought in their mind. Her brain cells have decided to go on vacation to leave her speechless, which they very rarely are.

Flynn doesn’t even bother to wittily respond, partially because she can’t, so they just half watch the episode of Glee that’s still playing and enjoys the moment.

Singin’ in harmony

“For the last time bubblegum, I can rap, but I can’t sing.”

“Come on, at least try. You can’t possibly be as bad as you think,” Carrie pleads as the sun sets around them, painting the world a soft pink.

Carrie looks breathtaking in this glow against the pink sky. Pink has always been her colour. The shade doesn’t even matter, anytime she wears pink Flynn just has to do a double take. Not that she doesn’t look incredible in everything else, pink just kind of enhances it even more.

“You’ve heard me sing, pinky. Don’t act like you haven’t. You know it’s terrible.” Flynn walks slightly faster. If they keep looking at Carrie against the beautiful sky she’d do anything she asks.

Carrie puts a hand on their shoulder, making them stop for a moment. “Yeah, but I can’t remember the last time I heard you sing that wasn’t just singing terribly on purpose to random songs on the radio. Please, I promise I won’t make fun of you.” She just looks so genuine as she says those soft words. It’s enough to make Flynn fall head over heels for her once more, but really, she does that every second they’re with her.

“Maybe later. We’ll try to sing in harmony together.” Flynn takes Carrie’s hand. “Let’s go watch the sunset by the ocean.

Carrie smiles widely and Flynn automatically does the same

I bet she’s bragging to all her friends , sayin’ how you’re so unique

Unfortunately, Flynn never got the chance to sing in harmony with Carrie.

Flynn told herself she wouldn’t look at Carrie’s Instagram, but they just couldn’t help it. She misses her so much and it’s better than nothing, right? Plus Carrie hasn’t blocked them, and Flynn hasn’t either.

There’s a picture of Carrie and Kayla in Carrie’s Dad’s car. They’re both smiling and looking at the camera and eating some kind of snack, but Flynn can’t quite tell what. The caption says that they’re on a road trip to Malibu.

The next post shows Carrie and Kayla sharing strawberry ice cream at an ice cream shop in Malibu, there’s only one spoon. Carrie is wearing Kayla’s beautiful trademark purple jacket.

A picture of them watching an episode of Glee, both sprawled out on the couch together. They’re smiling widely and just look so happy.

Then a post of the two of them posing at sunset, the sky a soft pink that makes Carrie look angelic.

So when you gonna tell her that we did that too?

Carrie did all that with Flynn. They carry the memories so close to her heart. They mean so much to them. They’re a reminder of how it was before, when it was good, when they were all happy.

Now she’s doing all that with someone else. Flynn’s not jealous, but they don’t understand how Carrie’s able to do all of this. Flynn can barely think of road trips, strawberry ice cream, her favourite jean jacket, watching glee, and pink sunsets without being overwhelmed with her feelings and memories of Carrie.

She thinks it’s special, but it’s all reused

Flynn can’t help but wonder if Carrie does all of these things with her friends. She’s obviously allowed to, but Flynn kind of thought she was special. They thought that maybe there was something else there. That maybe their feelings weren’t completely one sided, but that doesn’t matter anymore.

That was our place, I found it first

They both found that ice cream place in Malibu with Julie. It became a tradition to go there every time they went on a road trip there with Carrie’s Dad. It was important to them.

That post hurts slightly more than the rest. Flynn saw that place the first time they went to Malibu and dragged them all in. They wish she could go there again with Carrie, but that’ll never happen. Not after… everything.

I made the jokes you tell to her when she’s with you

Do you get deja vu when she’s with you?

Carrie has to get deja vu when she’s with Kayla, right? She can’t have just forgotten everything they’ve done together. Their entire friendship.

They were as close as could be for years, and now they’re nothing. The girl she knew and loved isn’t quite there anymore. Now she’s been replaced by mean comments and rude looks. Flynn hopes that they can get back to where they were, but it’s not likely.

Do you get deja vu?

Flynn gets deja vu when looking at her posts. She gets a sudden wave of nostalgia and wants to look through her closet to see her favourite jacket and all of their clothes that are connected to memories of Carrie.

Their friendship was as precious as gold, but just like in the poem, it didn’t stay.

Taglist: (send an ask to be added) @lyxchen @sunnysbright

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp fanfic #flarrie #Flynn jatp #Flynn nolastname #flynn flynnigan #Carrie jatp #Carrie wilson

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peeterparkr · 4 years

Text

perfidy;tom holland|20

chapter 20: the screenwriter.

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

chapter summary: the battlefield and the casualties.

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: angst, angst, angst, I use war as a metaphor,

word count: 10.1 k

playlist(1: with song names)

playlist 2 (Spotify link)

Playlist: perf1Dy (one direction+solo songs)

social media before you read :

PART ONE: BEFORE THE PARTY || PART TWO: THE PARTY

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist sequel name announcement

Hi :) thanks to @peachybloomss for being my beta reader. You’re gonna hate me, bye! :)! 🍉

Chaos. Chaos. Chaos.

You could hear it, the chaos, people running, shaking, disaster. Your heart was beating fast if you had one, that is. Did you have a heart after this?

How was your heart working after all of this was beyond your knowledge. Everything was ruined. You couldn’t pity yourself now, you had no right. You wouldn’t cry, not right now. You were okay.

You were running through a battlefield, bleeding, but it was still not over. Your wounds could wait because honestly, they didn’t matter. But you knew it, you’d never heal. You needed a storm to wash away the pain, but the chaos was bringing more chaos.

You had walked back into the house, not sure why; not sure who you were looking for. What were you trying to do?

Emma. Yes, Emma first.

Even as the chaos continued.

You needed to hurry, you wanted to run. You’d rather be anywhere. Anywhere, seriously. Because this was your fault. This was completely your fault. The rain was supposed to pour down, the war was supposed to start. You were the one to cause this, you were the double agent. The duplicity. Had you told Tom earlier about the script, had you not written all your damn thoughts then you wouldn’t be here. Maybe you wouldn’t be dating Tom, but maybe that was a sacrifice that you would have paid instead of this chaos. Instead of this battle.

The war continued and this seemed like it had been the last battle, both of you had lost. Both of you were bleeding.

He hadn’t listened to you.

But you had made the weapon that had destroyed you both, you and Tom. This was your fault. Sure, he had done it in the worst timing. But he was not a monster. You had painted him wrong. But he hadn’t listened to you you. He hadn’t asked. You didn’t blame him, he didn’t know your whole story.

But then again, you didn’t know his.

This wasn’t his fault, he was a spark waiting for a long time to be ignited. Alcohol is flammable.

Could you ever carry on? And though you knew you couldn’t fix it, the first thing you’d done was to look up for him. As if in a cry for help, as if asking him to save you. To save him.

But you both needed saving.

You rushed through the crowd who were clearly still talking, shocked. They were talking. And you were a villain. You were the bad guy in their story because they didn’t know the whole story. But they didn’t need to, because they knew something true.

But you saw Timmy, helping Emma get across to the stairs, she was crying, she was wounded. The casualty.

You rushed to her, you needed to fix this with her. She was your friend, you were not meant to hurt her. She was not supposed to fall into this mess. She didn’t deserve this.

“Emma,” you called. Timmy was sad, too, but he seemed angry. You’d never seen him this way. He was pissed, his sight was dark. He was very, very angry.

Timmy turned to see you, he shook his head.

“Please, can I talk to you?” You asked anyway, approaching them, as Emma kept going upstairs.

Timmy followed after. “No, y/n it’s not a good time,” he warned you.

You followed them. “Please, please, Emma--.”

“No, get away from me,” Emma finally turned around to you as you were both on the edge of the stairs. “I knew it—I knew it,” she cried, as she tried to catch her breath. “I’m—y/n, I just—” Tears were falling down her face as she took a deep breath. “No, it’s not… I’m not even—” Her voice was cracking. “You and Tom should fucking solve your problems alone but now—”

“I’m sorry, Emma, it’s all a misunderstanding.”

“Is it?” She turned darker. “He said it! How you wrote a script and apparently you loved my fiance!”

You felt a dagger in your chest. “No, it was taken out of context—” You tried to implore.

She scoffed. “Was it, y/n?” she growled. “Because I’ve been living in fear that you’ll one day finally realize it! Maybe you didn’t know it, y/n, but I saw it! Fuck you saw it too, right Timmy?”

Tim pursed his lips as he took a deep breath.

“No, Emma—I swear, it’s nothing like you think it is,” you explained.

Emma ran to you, she was crying, and she looked at you, her eyes full of tears begging for an explanation.

“Emma, come here, let’s calm down,” Timmy grabbed her hand and tried to pull her back to him, Emma pushed his hand away.

“No—I’m not—” She warned Timmy and then turned back to you. “I thought you were my friend.”

“I am your friend, Emma I didn’t mean for all of this to happen,” you urged.

She was shaking, her hands were shaking as she tried to hug herself. “Then why? Why—Are you trying to take him away from me?” She shrieked.

“No, I’m not—No, I want you both to be happy, I know he loves you.”

Emma screamed and brought her hands to her head.

Timmy rushed to pull her into a hug, calming her down. “Okay, Emma, no please, calm down.”

She pushed him away and punched her way out of his embrace. “Don’t you fucking dare to defend her right now, Timmy, because guess what she didn’t fucking love you either.”

Neither you and Timmy said anything. You both knew Emma was angry, and one should never speak when we’re angry.

“Because of-- fuck, and your whole act? Loving Tom?” She snapped. “It wasn’t true, was it?”

“I’m in love with Tom,” you snapped, somehow that had triggered you even more. “I am not in love with Harry, I love him as a best friend-”

She only glared. “Did something ever happen between you and Harry?”

“Nothing, Emma! I swear nothing happened, ever!” You tried to explain.

She crossed her arms, “and did you ever wish something could happen?”

You shook your head. “No!”

Emma was fuming, but Timmy took her hand again. “Emma come on.”

Emma had given up at that point, as she only made her way to a room. “And tell your boyfriend to fuck off!” She yelled at you before disappearing with Tim.

That was a lost battle. The second lost battle here. You knew it, you wouldn’t win another. You rushed downstairs back to the other chaos, with people rushing and staring. Talking.

You saw Sam, he seemed hurt, he avoided you. Dom and Nikki were talking to Emma’s parents. You saw James, and he only sighed.

You gulped, continuing your way around the house, and you saw the garden again. You saw curls, rushing as he was heading anywhere, you saw Harry walking in circles. Stressed. He was angry, he was sad, he was confused.

You walked past the battlefield and ran to him, he was talking to himself, rubbing his face and his hair.

“Harry,” you said quietly, almost not wanting him to hear.

He only glared at you and walked away.

You followed him. “Harry, Harry, please—Please I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, y/n,” he gulped. “I really don’t think I can be seen with you right now okay?”

He was calm. He wasn’t angry. He was too calm for your convenience. Harry was always calm to you, but you didn’t want him to be calm. He couldn’t be calm to you.

“I—I’m sorry,” was all you could say.

He took a deep breath, bringing his hands to his face. “This isn’t—” He looked at you. “Look, I asked you only one thing today, okay?”He gulped. “And now—Now if they see me talking to you everyone will think—Fuck.”

“I’m sorry.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s not even your fault—” The calmness on his voice had disappeared. “Or maybe it is!” He scoffed. “I don’t even know right now—I don’t even know how to fucking feel!” He confessed. “This is bloody ruined.”

“I’m sorry... I should’ ve—I should’ve calmed Tom,” you didn’t even know how to apologize to him.

He clenched his jaw, placing his hands on his hips. He was too stressed. It was the first time you couldn’t know how he was feeling. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know what the hell was going through your best friend’s mind. You didn’t blame him.

“No, but here’s the thing y/n,” his voice had turned so deep, and dark, raspy. “I’m angry at you,” he stated. “Because he probably got mad for a reason, and what he said--I mean, I’m angry because his reasons are justified,” Harry continued. “So, I’m angry at you, because…” He shook his head. “But I’m angrier at him because he couldn’t wait! Bloody hell if he’d caused a scene with only the three of us, I wouldn’t have,” he closed his eyes. “But I’m angry because--It always has to be about him he always fucking puts on a show, he always fucking does this! And that’s—I don’t-” He couldn’t map out his emotions.

You repeat yourself. “I’m sorry.”

“I—I don’t even know how to—” He clenched his jaw. “And you!”He laughed, a dark laugh. “And now everyone thinks we—I don’t even know what they think!”

“I’m sorry.”

“And the worst part is that—I—I can’t get married now, Emma probably doesn’t… I just please get away from me.”

You left, knowing this was another lost battle. Three battles now. And you didn’t know which one hurt more.

You saw your parents, they looked sad, disappointed. And confused. Everyone was confused.

But you kept searching for your brother, he only quietly led the way outside. You saw Tuwaine, he only gave you a second glance. Harrison and Sam again. You saw them yelling, watching as Tom was throwing up on some random bushes.

You tried to walk in, but James tried to stop you.

“Sam—Sam,” you called.

Sam turned to you. “Not right now y/n.” He was cold.

“I’m sorry,” you said for what seemed the thousandth time.

Sam looked away.

James frowned, as he took you by your hand and dragged you away. “I don’t even understand why you’re apologizing, you—This isn’t your fault.”

“But it is.”

James stayed with you that night. You didn’t cry. You weren’t sure why. Maybe it was guilt. It probably was guilt. You didn’t sleep. James had taken your phone, to make sure you didn’t text or call anybody. He said you needed to calm down. He was right, you needed to calm down.

Which was weird, because you weren’t making a scene. You were too quiet, you didn’t know how to react to this. He asked the real reason why Tom was mad.

And you gave him the script. He stayed up all night to read it. You had stayed up in your room, hugging your little frog.

You thought about it, how you always had it wrong when it came to love. Always the wrong streets. You had fucked it up, badly. With Harry, with Tim, with Tom. You never knew what the hell was up. There were no more tears that could help this. But you really didn’t want to go to that dark place again, you couldn’t go there. You needed to cry, but the tears didn’t want to come out, as if you were too proud. The moon was judging you, washing your silks as you were barely breathing.

There was a part that had you thinking that Tom was still wrong. Not because he didn’t have the right to be mad, but because he truly didn’t know where you had been. Because you had meant those words, most of them, because that’s how you’d felt. And though he wasn’t a monster, you’d been there. He had robbed you of your happiness, or your chances to be happy. Because that’s how you really felt. You couldn’t pretend he didn’t hurt you. You couldn’t pretend you hadn’t cried for months, you couldn’t fucking pretend you hadn’t gone to the doctor only to be told you were heartbroken.

Because that was also truth. Because you had lost yourself, you had drowned. You couldn't pretend he hadn’t been a monster. You wouldn’t have expected yourself from a few years ago to be okay with it.

Because it had hurt, so much. You had cried, you had bled. Because it was true. Tom has been a monster. And you couldn’t lie, not with that.

But the script was the story of how the beast turned into a beautiful creature, of how you had found that he had a heart. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t been a monster. It really had felt awful.

But he changed your mind, he changed the story. That’s what he didn’t get. Because this was your side of the story and you couldn’t simply erase it.

But did it matter now? To fight for your story?

And there you were, laying down on the bed when nights before he’d kissed you. You were alone now, your room was cold. And you wish he’d never left. You wished he had listened to you.

But you both were so stupid, you both were so happy. And one of you had to fire, because this was a war. You wish it hadn’t been you.

Maybe he was crying this time. Maybe he was feeling like you had after those flowers. Were you both staring at an empty feeling? Was he going to call you? Was he expecting you to call him?

And had you really wanted that? To make him feel the way you had? You couldn’t want that.

But your pain didn’t justify you. But it was different now. And then there you were. Wishing you’d never written it.

And you felt lonely. And you didn’t want to feel lonely.

You needed to be with him. You didn’t like the night now, he wasn’t there to hold you. The stars were not bright, You knew this was over, he was over. And it was so hard, knowing you had hurt him. This was you digging your end.

And you looked at your walls, this couldn’t be over.

James had walked into your room the next morning, he hadn’t slept.

“He didn’t finish it,” James pointed out. “Did he?”

“No.”

James sat down. “But I get where he’s coming from.”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

He sighed. “You really fucked it up, huh?” He asked. “Still I don’t… I don’t think he did it right by snapping there.”

You stayed quiet.

“There are a lot of things that you don’t understand about Tom,” James started. “None of us, really. But I get where he’s coming from. He loves you.”

“Does he?”

He sighed. “Well.”

“He said it, he’s tired of pretending he loves me, and he said it, how I deserve to be lonely, maybe he’s right.”

“No, no, y/n.”

“I need to be, for a few days, I’m not… I need time, okay? It’s hard enough for me, and right now, I need a favour, please, if you can, talk to them, to Harry, to Sam, explain to them how Tom wasn’t the one who fucked up, he’s not a monster, okay?”

James watched you.

“I love him, James,” you admitted. “I can’t believe I did this to him. And… I’ve hurt him, all of them. Timmy, Harry, Tom.”

He sighed. “And how can you fix this?” He asked.

“I don’t know. “

“Who will you try to fix first?” He questioned. “Who do you want to keep in your life?”

“Do I have to choose only one?”

“Y/N,” James rolled his eyes. “It’s not--”

“I love Tom,” you admitted. “But Harry is my best friend.”

“And Tim?”

You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“You know you have to give up one.”

“But why?” You frowned. “I don’t want… I don’t know, I can’t give up my friendship with Harry, and… I know Timmy will stay, as a friend. But Tom… At least I want him in life, I need him, I love him. I want to fix it, but I know I can’t.”

“He has to know you love him.”

“I know…And for that… Maybe I have to be lonely.”

And you were lonely, for a few days. But it was alright. You needed time to think, to craft this. No one had reached out for you. And maybe Tom had been right, you had fucked it up, and maybe you’d be alone. You deserved it. You really were alone right now, and you didn’t care. Because you needed to think about it, find a way to fix this. Big mistakes were made. Because it had been fragile. So fragile. And you broke Tom.

That didn’t mean you couldn’t try and fix this.

But you couldn’t get your mind at ease. Because this was you, but he hadn’t read it. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand how you had changed it. How he had changed the story.

And you had an idea. What you could tell was that Tom was the angriest because he didn’t believe you loved him. And you didn’t blame him.

But you had to prove him. And it was weird because, for the first time, you’d broken his heart.

But this wasn’t easy.

Sure, he’d hurt you, too. This wasn’t a first time he’d hurt you, but you thought you’d learned better. And you’d be lying if you said his own words hadn’t shattered you either. Because he said you deserved to be lonely, and he said he pretended to love you. And you believed him. Maybe he had pretended to love you. You played with fire, and you had both burned.

And you couldn’t stop yourself from crying now, because this was all ruined. And he hadn’t listened to you. You’d hurt him. And Harry. And Tim.

There was only emptiness now, you didn’t even feel… anything. Nothing to say would solve this. Maybe you had to face it, maybe this time it was over for good. And you had to accept it.

But right now, you were trying to figure out if it had only been only an act of playing pretend, you were trying to understand if you really had gone to the battle wanting to win. Maybe you were destined to lose. Because you were sure that even if you were now standing in the end, there was still a beginning.

And so you had an idea, to show the first times. Everybody talks about first times, but not the best ones. Not the ones that really settle in a relationship. Not the ones that you barely remember. But they’re important.

Everybody remembers the first kiss, the first date, the first time you slept together, the first time saying I love you. You clearly remembered those.

But you had your way of remembering them.

But remembering only hurt more because it all led to this, seeing the polaroids on your wall, the napkin, your dresses, the pictures on your phone. This was the story of a breakup, the story of how something that could’ve been. The story of how you had ruined this.

And you had been alone thinking. If you turned back to where it all started, wanting to win the war, did you really want to win it? Had this been the sweet revenge you were looking for? Or had it been just a pathetic excuse just to get close to him and finally accept your feelings? Maybe this just meant you were both too proud to accept it. But you were hurt, too.

Very, very hurt.

And now there you were, wondering what you had done wrong, wanting to turn back time so you had said no to that dare, to that script, if you hadn’t written those horrible words. Because then it wouldn’t have hurt that much. Both playing pretend but both letting each other fall.

But you remembered a first time, the first time you kissed, the first time you crushed on him and the last time he hurt you and the day you had promised yourself you’d never think of Tom Holland as anything but an asshole whom you would never trust, and you remembered that from a very young age you’d promised yourself that you’d never get tangled in his charms. Because they were not true.

But you weren’t really one to talk now about truthful charms and you couldn’t say anything because you were no better than him.

You went back to that promise, after burning yellow flowers. And how you had initially written it, how Tom Holland--William was so vain, and arrogant and too proud of himself. And everything revolved around him. Even your mind and your heart right now. But it was Tom, the idiot you’ve sworn you’d hate your whole life and the one who annoyed you whenever he strutted into a room.

This was Tom, there was no reason to cry. You’d cried enough for him. You’d always say it: ‘I’d rather have grounds in my coffee than spend 5 minutes with him.’ Yet you were crying. You were crying now.

But you had never hated him. But you knew he hated you now.

What were you even doing? You were drowning again. Were you going to ask him to love him after this? He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

But you wanted him to know that you had loved him. But you couldn’t make any more promises. Not anymore.

You had gone and bought flowers, loose flowers, and you were fixing them yourself. You never really liked the way the flower shops fixed them, so you usually fixed them yourself, yellow flowers and lavenders. As if you were trying to say something more. As if saying, Valerie apologizes to Will. Which, funnily enough, she had.

It was funny, yellow flowers usually meant happiness, joy. Friendship. And they had quite the opposite meaning when it came to you and Tom. And then you had the lavenders, meaning calmness. As if you tried to soothe Tom.

You hadn’t tried to reach out for Harry. He wouldn’t answer. But you had tried to reach out to Emma. She didn’t answer. Sam barely answered. He’d at least tell you that right now it wasn’t a good time and that he would make sure Tom and Harry would talk, eventually.

Timmy did. Timmy was trying to make sure you were alright. He didn’t tell you anything about Emma, no matter how much you asked.

You hadn’t tried to reach out Tom. You wanted to, but you never could hit send. You knew a text wouldn’t fix this. You wondered if he would hover over your name too. You wondered if he expected you to call, and if you did, would he answer?

And was he okay?

Because you knew that it would be delicate to try and do it. Would it hurt more if he answered? Did you even want to answer?

Did he miss you? Did he miss you as much as you missed him? Did he want the same thing you did? Because all you could wish for was for this to disappear, only for a few minutes, only to hug him. Would he want that? Pause everything just so you could hold him?

And Harry? Your best friend, he wasn’t there. Nobody wanted to see you now. And you knew it, probably nobody wanted to know about you. Because you were the bad one.

You wanted to pretend for a bit, imagine that Tom was still yours. You didn’t want to eat, you didn’t want to sleep. You had gone out, once. To see how the world was still spinning, nobody had stopped.

And nobody had reached out for you.

You didn’t want to go to sleep because you’d be waking up alone. Your clothes were all stained now, with him. With him. Fuck, your room was horrible. It only reminded you of what you had lost. Harry, Tom, Timmy.

You only wanted some company. Maybe you didn’t want to be lonely. Though you deserved it, you didn’t. You just wanted a little love, because there was still so much love left. You hadn’t lived enough.

You needed Harry, you needed Tom.

God, you needed Harry.

But you knew you had to let them go. In your cold room, you didn’t want to see it. Not anymore. Because it only reminded you of what you’d done.

And you had bought what seemed a million flowers, one, two, three, hundred of bouquets, of arrangements. But they didn’t look pretty. You couldn’t give that to him. They didn’t scream that you loved him. Lavender and yellow flowers. You didn’t know what you were trying to say.

Except you did: ‘Love me, Tom’.

And what about Harry? How on earth were you going to apologize? He was your best friend. And now he knew. He knew that you had loved him. But he was not supposed to ever know, because you’d lose him. And losing him would be the worst thing you could think of.

You could lose Tom. But not Harry. Never Harry. Because that would mean you’d die slowly, alone. And you thought about it, how this had ended with just a stupid script. And why the hell had you written that?

Couldn’t Valerie just be a bloody dancer? But you couldn’t pretend you hadn’t felt that. You just couldn’t ignore your feelings.

And your room, your room gave it all the signs.

You had been absent. Disappeared from the world. Social media, at least. You couldn’t stomach seeing anything.

James made sure to bring you food, every now and then. Tea. Pancakes. But you didn’t want them anymore.

You stared at the flowers, you stared at the box. The pathetic excuse you had. But you knew you had to do this, Tom wouldn’t want to see you now.

Did you want to see him? Because this had only proven that you would hurt him. You’d both eventually hurt each other again.

But it hurt, and there was that pain across your chest again. Especially since he had said he “pretend to love you.”

You didn’t want to be lonely, so you had called Charlie and Danielle, they had brought ice cream. That’s what you needed, but it had been awful, their confession hadn’t exactly been what you needed this time. You had spent that day with them, listening to Charlie and his shade, Danielle being dumb.

“That day of your interview,” Charlie had said. “We kind of told Tom the same thing we did to you.”

“What did you tell him?”

“About the tension you guys had,” Danielle said, “that he—“

“We were joking, as we usually do, we told him it’d take him no less than two beers to finally end up with your tension. We kind of said.. You know, the whole ‘Id bet you that if you tried to, you could’, you know? that he could take you to bed—I was joking—And then that night we headed to the bar—and he was flirting with you, as if he tried to prove a point to us,” Charlie explained.

And that’s how it had started because they had put the idea to get him to get you to bed. It wasn’t even his own original thought.

And to bloody think that this was all because Charlie and Danielle were fucking joking? Because they had put the thought in both of you? Fucking hell.

Of course, you were hurt. But you were no better, and even if—you didn’t know how to feel about it. But even if the first time had been for a stupid joke or bet or whatever, that didn’t cancel out what you’d done.

But he said he pretended to love you. But you didn’t believe him. Or did you?

If he didn’t love you. Then why the hell were you going to fight for him? You hadn’t accepted it. You had denied this. You didn’t want this. In your mind, Tom had loved you. He had to love you. Because if not, then why the hell had all of this happened?

You didn’t want to say anything.

You couldn’t sleep because he’d be in your dreams. Flashbacks of good scenes. The moon, the stars, the sun. Nothing was bright. It would be, someday. But not today, not soon.

You missed his touch, his lips, his skin. You missed him. And you regretted it. The tears were the only story you wanted to write now. Because he was going to be gone for good.

You arranged the flowers yet again and then you heard someone at your door. Was it Tom? You ran to the door, expecting to see him.

What would you say to him? That you had more pages? That you’d written more pages even when this was over? That you wanted to lay down by his side just one more time. To make sure he was alright. Just to be with him.

That you wanted to be with him only one more night. Because it had all ended so quickly.

And you’d tell him that this was the worst thing you’d done. That you missed him like hell. That you’d take care of him.

But it wasn’t. It wasn’t Tom.

“Hi, I came because I know that you’re probably shutting everyone out so—“Timmy said. You definitely weren’t expecting him. “I just needed to check on you.”

Your heart warmed up. He cared. You let him in as you saw he had some supermarket bags.

You couldn’t believe it was him.

“Thank you, Tim.”

“I brought you these, actual food because if I know you—You’ve been eating takeout haven’t you?”

“Thank you, how much do I owe you?”

It was weird, how even after everything. After you broke his heart, he was there, to take care of you.

How did he not let you be lonely?

Your apartment was a mess. With Polaroids scattered on the floor, flowers here and there, an open box. Clothes hanging around. A story. Your tears, your sorrow.

“What’s all this?” He asked, and then looked at the flowers. “He sent these to you?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m giving them to him.”

“You made the arrangement, didn’t you?” He asked. “That’s why they look pretty.”

“Aren’t you angry?”

You watched Tim go to your kitchen, you followed after him.

“A bit,” he said calmly. “But You can’t have yet someone else angry at you. “

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” he said. “So, what are the flowers for?”

“I’m going to apologize.”

“After what he did?” He asked as he took out the groceries he’d bought. He. “You need to apologize?” Tim shook his head. “No, yn— He is a monster.”

“He is not, Tim, he made a mistake—“

“What he did to Emma—?” Timmy snapped. You knew this wasn’t about you, Tim wasn’t even angry at Tom for you. This was Timmy protecting Emma.

“I know, I know, Emma happened to be the unfortunate casualty in this war and I’m sorry—And I really am sorry.”

He sighed, as he opened the fridge, he raised his brows as he saw the takeouts, cold pizza, and instead placed the food he had bought.

“Casualty. As if this was a war.”

“Wasn’t it?” You frowned.

Timmy turned to you. “No, y/n, that’s your problem, if you walked into a relationship thinking it was a war no wonder you both fired shots.”

You stayed quiet. He was right.

Why had you walked in as if this was a war? If you loved Tom, why had this been a war?

He clenched his jaw, as he leaned against the counter. He looked back at the living room, seeing the whole mess. “What are you even doing?”

“I’m trying to fix everything, okay?” You sighed. “And everyone—I understand where he is coming from. I know. I made a horrible thing, and I hurt him—And now, he is alone and I don’t want him to be. He got drunk. And I don’t want anyone to hurt him—“

Timmy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Y/N why—“

“Because this is my fault, okay?” You snapped. “And I—And I hurt him and I can’t hurt someone I love.”

“I don’t understand,” Timmy admitted. He sighed, “you’re still in love with him,” he stated. “After that?”

“He was drunk, I—I did something very shitty, Tim.”

Timmy sighed. “Still—“

“I wrote a script basing it on this whole love—triangle or whatever it is—okay? He thinks I don’t love him, he didn’t read it. He thought I was dating him only because of the script where I wrote that I was technically fucking dating him to hurt him, a script where I called him a monster, a script in which—I said I dated him only to get revenge.”

Timmy watched you. “Oh.”

You chuckled. “I’m so stupid.”

“Can I read it?”

You hugged yourself. “I don’t know.”

Tim nodded. “You wrote about me, too?”

You had. You knew he wouldn’t be mad. You had written such beautiful things about him. But mostly, It was confusing. About how you regretted saying no, because maybe if he had waited you’d probably’ve said yes. If he had waited just a little bit longer. But not now. Sure, you loved Timmy. Like an old friend, like an old lover. Feelings are never really gone, you know? They transform. But—you wanted to be with Tom. Though it seemed impossible now.

“If I read it, would I be angry?” He asked.

“No,” you shook your head. Hurt, maybe. Confused, absolutely. But not angry.

“You wrote about Harry, from what I could tell,” he pointed out. “Do you love Harry?”

You took a deep breath. “He is my best friend,” you said. “You know it, I did have… feelings for a bit, but it’s like… When you said you had a crush on Emma, when you were younger.”

Timmy nodded. “Yeah, it’s easy to confuse friendship with something else,” he agreed. “Tom didn’t know about Harry?”

You shrugged. “I thought he did, I thought everyone did,” you nodded. “I didn’t hide it. I think that’s—that’s I don’t know. Look, he—He believes I never loved him.”

Timmy laughed. “Is he fucking blind?”

You chuckled. “I don’t blame him, the script—what I wrote was very very very cruel at the beginning.”

“Really?” He asked before going back to the freezer, he saw two pints of ice cream, he took them out, as well as two spoons, handing you one over.

“I initially started writing the script because I wanted to take revenge, that’s what the script says and that’s what I did.”

You stared at the ice cream, as you opened it.

“What?” he asked.

“I don’t know what I was planning to do. Break his heart—guess I’ve got that covered.”

“But?”

“But the script also explained a lot of things, my feelings for you and my feelings for Harry,” you took a spoonful of the ice cream.

“And?”

“And the script talks about my feelings about me—always choosing Tom no matter what.”

Timmy gulped. “Right.” He gulped. “Which really, I don’t know why.”

You shrugged. “The heart is stupid.”

He nodded. “Stubborn, stupid, irrational,” he admitted.

You bit your lip. “How’s Emma doing?”

Timmy gulped. “Yeah she’s — she’s not well.” He admitted.

“She doesn’t like me now, does she?” You asked.

Timmy bit his lip, staring at his ice cream. “Well, she always knew Harry did have something for you.”

“You told her?” You asked.

“No, never but, c’mon, it was obvious.”

And it was.

“And of course she doesn’t particularly like you right now, but she says that this isn’t really your fault, I mean,” he sighed. “Let’s say...Tom is on her list.”

“Yeah, everyone’s list right now.”

Timmy raised his brows. “He has a talent for fucking up.”

You sighed. “Tell me about it, he learned from me.”

He looked up and gave you a sad smile. “But you love him.”

You took another spoonful of ice cream. “I do.”

“Yikes.”

You punched him on the shoulder, he chuckled. “Shut up.”

You stayed quiet for a bit, wondering why he had come here. He wasn’t trying to win you back, or was he? Was he going to try to take advantage of the situation?

“Why are you here?” You asked him.

He looked up. “Because I know everyone is taking care of Emma, of Harry, even of Tom, but no one seemed to see if you were okay.”

“But I’m the bad guy,” you said.

He shrugged. “That doesn’t mean you deserve to be lonely.”

“But maybe I do, I was the one to fuck up.”

“Not really, well-- Not completely, I mean you did fuck up,” He agreed. “But he could’ve waited just not to fuck up his brother’s engagement.”

You sighed. “Are they still engaged?”

Timmy bit his lip.

“Because it’s not Harry’s fault,” you said. “Harry deserves to be happy, Emma deserves to be happy.”

“Dunno, Emma believes something happened with you and Harry,” Tim said. “And though I’ve tried to explain to her that even if something had happened, it would have been before they even met well but...She’s… I don’t blame her, Harry has been…”

“Harry?”

Tim sighed. “Harry has been quiet, absent.”

“He’s probably angry, hurt, at Tom,” you said.

“Emma says she wants to give the ring back—”Timmy sighed. “You could give her advice on that.”

You glared at him. “Tim.”

He laughed. “I’m trying to make you laugh.”

That made you smile.

“What would you do?” You asked eventually after you’d both stayed quiet for a while, just eating ice cream.

“Hm?”

“If you were in my place,” you pushed.

He sighed. “I’d… I honestly don't know.” He watched you. “I don’t know how bad the script is, so I don’t know, I mean.”

You bit your lip, and you walked to the living room, you stared at the pictures, the lipsticks, everything. Tim followed after, watching you as you sat on the floor. He sighed as he left to your room, he brought back your frog and then handed it over.

“You know, y/n, I’ve seen everything in this world, and then there’s you.”

You chuckled. “I’m a fucking mess.”

Tim sighed, sitting down on the floor with you. “Yeah.”

Timothée took a deep breath. “What’s your plan?”

You shook your head, “No, Tim, you don’t have to,” you sighed.

“Look, who else is going to help you?” He shrugged.

You watched him. “Timmy.”

He shrugged. “Look, I’m not…” He coughed. “Though it hurts, and if you… If he’s that stupid that you have to do a… What are you doing a... collage?”

You chuckled. “I don’t know.”

“Well, I might as well help you,” he shrugged. “If that makes you happy.”

And you knew Tim, he really wasn’t trying to pull a stunt right now. He knew you, after all, he’d met you in a dark time, and he knew how much you hated to be lonely. He was there because he meant it, to keep you company. He cooked for you, he stayed there making sure you were okay, and he made sure he made you smile.

The next day, you were ready. Timmy hadn’t really helped you with it, he had just kept you company. And then he had left.

And you’d stayed up all night, trying to figure it out. You had the flowers, you had the box. The last pages of your script. How could you prove to Tom you loved him? That it had been him. That it was him. That you were thankful he’d gone to Rome, even if you didn’t know why. That you were thankful after prom, that you had loved New York and every single kiss. That you hadn’t meant this.

You had the last pages of your script. You printed them. But still, this… You sighed, memories.

Memories.

You opened your laptop, maybe you did have the answer all along.

And so, with little hope and only with a half-apology, you went to search for Tom, with flowers, with a box full of polaroids, and with more things that would probably explain it to him that it was him.

You saw it, his car was there; but, were you ready to see him? You carried the flower arrangement you’d made him. Changing the story. Now it was you with yellow flowers, and with lavenders.

He didn’t open the door.

“Harrison.”

And he seemed angry. He probably hadn’t expected you there. He sighed, “I don’t think you should be here y/n.”

“But I should,” you said. “Let me... I need to explain it to him, I don’t care, look, the last time he didn’t talk to me, and look what happened.”

Haz shook his head. “He’s not here.” He tried to close the door.

“Haz I won’t buy that.” The flowers were heavy.

“I swear, he’s not here,” he continued. “Don’t know where he went.”

You looked at the car.

“Think he went out for a walk, you can check his room if you don’t believe it.”

You gulped. “I… can I drop this here, at least?”

Harrison stared at the flowers. “Yellow and lilac flowers?”

“Yes, please, Harrison, I really need to explain myself,” you said.

He hesitated, and you didn’t blame him. You knew Tom probably had told Haz what he’d read, and if someone had written something like that of Harry, you’d hate them too.

“Fine,” he eventually said and he took the flowers from you.

“And… I brought a box, too,” you said.

“I... I’ll help you with it,” Haz said with pity. You sighed as you headed to the car. You had a few pages too. An envelope. You didn’t even know why you were doing this.

“You.. you can come in,” Haz said. He offered you some water and you could tell he probably pitied your state, you looked like a mess.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“An explanation,” you said. “It’s got a script, and…” You gulped. “I don’t even know. I know he won’t see me.”

Haz nodded. “Yeah.”

“Have they...Talked? Harry and him?” You said. The worst you could think of this was rining a brother’s relationship. Especially their relationship.

Harrison sighed. “Everyone hates Tom right now.”

“And they shouldn’t,” you said.

Haz scrunched his nose as if he didn’t agree, not completely.

“Look,” Haz sighed. “I don’t think he’s to blame,” he started. “I…”

“Did he tell you about it?”

“Yeah,” he gulped. “And that was… You really fucked up, y/n, but I… I don’t know you that well, but I could tell you guys were in love… It’s no secret that you were in love with him, and look I understand, he hurt you, for a while but getting revenge?”

“It did start like that,” you confessed. “But, while it started like that I never… I never believed he’d love me, you know? I never fully believed that that’s maybe why I wrote some things because I was too scared, and in a way, I was conning myself, into tricking myself I would be getting revenge when in reality it was just me actually trying, you really think I would’ve slept with him in the first place if I didn’t initially have some kind of attraction? It was a script, sure, it was a story, but I think I was telling myself that just so I could enjoy it, you know? Because he’s…It’s him, I was making myself believe I didn’t love him because I always feared he’d break me again, and… and, before you say anything, I know, I know, it’s fucked up, and I’m not trying to justify myself, but I… That’s the Tom I knew, you know? The guy who’ll use my words as his weapon, which he... Technically did end up doing, I told him that I didn’t want to be lonely, and he said I deserved it. I wrote in that script that what I’d fear the most with him is that it was like last time, when he only pretended to love me, and he said it again, how he was pretending,” you gulped as you rested your face against your fist. “And maybe I did it because it was a way to shield myself?” You paused.

Haz was quiet.

“My heart was so broken that it built up walls around them, and I guess I wanted to give it another chance, because it’s him, it’s always him, no matter how bad he hurt me before I still wanted to give it a chance, and maybe that’s the script, the shield I’d use for myself, initially, to say that it was only for a story if he was the one to hurt me. To say that it was the only perfidy if he hurt me. But I didn’t want to hurt him,” you stared at the glass of water. “And I get it, I was building a weapon because I thought this was a war, and it shouldn’t have been one. He’s not an enemy. He is the guy I’ve been in love with my whole life.”

Harrison kept quiet, longer. Then he stared at the envelope. “Does it say that in there?”

“Yes, and a lot of things more,” you cleared your throat. “Because he… I understand he’s hurt but saying I’ve never loved him,” you bit your lip. “He can be mad at me for everything else, but saying I’ve never loved him, that’s just…”

“What about Harry?”

You bit your lip. “Why does it matter if I had feelings for Harry at some point?”

“He always knew Harry was in love with you,” He explained. “I… I know the reason behind everything.”

“There is a reason, then?” You scoffed.

“He knew it, and he knew that the worst thing he’s ever done is what he did to you,” Haz said. “And now I know. After that club night, right? When you were back from Rome, you started dating, and that night he broke your heart.”

“Yes,” you nodded. “And then he said he was only dating me as a prank, he said that he’d never date someone like me.”

“He did it because he always feared this, I’m not trying to justify him” he explained. “But he said it. How you were supposed to be in love with Harry, and how he was always watching you both, happily. But you always chose Tom.”

“I did.”

“But he feared you’d realize it one day, that you and Harry were… more suited for each other, and that Harry was the good guy, Harry was the nice guy, and so he, in his stupid attempt to make you fall in love with Harry, he kept pushing you away, and he felt guilty.”

“Why did he go to Rome, then?” You frowned. “None of that would’ve happened if he hadn’t gone to Rome.”

“I don’t know why he did,” Haz confessed. “But he felt guilty, because you had feelings for Harry, and he took it away, and he felt… guilty, because if he hadn’t gone to Rome, what would’ve happened with Harry?”

“But you can’t live with ‘what if’s,” you pushed. “And… even if… He hadn’t come... I don’t think Harry and I could ever..”

“How do you know that?” Harrison asked.

“Harrison.”

“Look, y/n, I’m just asking this to give you time to think for an answer, if Tom does talk to you, I know he’d ask this.”

You looked away. “I don’t know.”

“That’s what’s bothering Tom,” Harrison explained. “That he feels like he took away his brother's happiness.”

“And he did anyway, I’m not Harry’s happiness, it’s Emma, even after everything, it wouldn’t matter because Harry was supposed to marry Emma,” you frowned.

Haz nodded. “I know that. Harry is over you, but Tom… I think deep inside he did it because he wanted to give you and Harry a second chance.”

“That’s bullshit,” you snapped, then shook your head. “Sorry, this isn’t with you.”

“No, I know, and you’re right, but… I don’t think Tom came from a bad place, he’s willing to give you up.”

“But I love him,” you whimpered. “I love him, I love Tom and I… It’s him.”

Harrison sighed. “I know y/n, I’m just trying to make you understand it.”

You bit your lip. “I’m… I’m leaving.”

“Tom will soon be back from his walk, don’t you want to wait?” He asked.

“I need to… Process this, but please, make sure he reads it, and that he watches it,” you sighed. “No, wait…Can I go to his room?”

Haz hesitated again, closing his eyes. “I… Yeah, what for?”

You took out an old DVD from the envelope. “To put this on.”

You went to his room, you knew he still had an old DVD, for movies he knew weren’t on platforms, and you knew he liked the DVDs. His room felt cold, too. Messy. You could tell he wasn’t okay. You put the DVD on and paused it. You really hoped he’d press play when he was back. You left the box in his room and then left the envelope on his nightstand.

You said goodbye to Harrison and left to be alone with your thoughts again. The only thing you liked about loneliness was it gave you time to think, to process this. You could go to the park and not be bothered, and you could drive hours and hours, and nobody would call expecting you to go anywhere. It could give you some sense to bring answers, though the traffic lights never told you anything. No answers. Nobody would have the answer.

And you knew it, you wouldn’t get any answers, and you knew Tom probably wouldn’t forgive you, but at least you needed him to know. He deserved to know.

And you knew what would come, you’d be staring at windows, you’d write but you wouldn’t like it. You knew it, it was coming, what you feared the most. The nights wouldn’t come and if they did, you wouldn’t sleep. Faces would remind you of him but it would never be him again.

You saw it coming. Wanting to get rid of clothes you’d worn with him, and clothes he had taken off. Wanting a new skin because he’d kissed every spot, and the lipsticks because you’d stained his body with them. It was as if your body was full of scars, of tattoos of his kisses that were now removed. And now you couldn’t listen to those songs, you wouldn’t want to watch another movie with New York. You’d never buy the same wine again. Nothing.

You’d have to get rid of that perfume. And nothing made sense. And you’d have to pretend you were fine, because what would you win by letting the world you’d fucked up?

You had to start again.

You needed a new body , a new soul a new heart because this would hurt all the time. Your pride, your love, your feelings.

Because Tom had said you didn’t love him. Yes, you had played your own part in this. But it was too late now. Because he didn’t get it. Tom had forced you to find love somewhere else. Did he not see it? That you had been so broken that you had turned to the only light you had.

But then—what about Harry? Because you couldn’t say you never felt anything. And you couldn’t say that you hadn’t stopped yourself because you had feared you’d lose him. Because losing Harry, that you couldn’t afford.

But you were thinking about it, the ‘what if’. You couldn’t live there, not dwelling with the past.

Because with Harry it was too late, now. It had been for a while. And now he probably would be gone. And you didn’t have him there to hug you, to tell you all of this would be right. He wouldn’t be there now.

But there was someone else who deserved an explanation. You called him.

“I was going to ask why the hell you asked me here, but--” Harry had arrived at the park. And he wasn’t late, he had come. He had answered. He had come.

You were sitting at that park bench, you stood up as you saw him. He was a mess, too. Seemed like everyone was still recovering from the battle. You ran out of breath as you saw him, you didn’t know why your arms immediately wrapped around him in a hug, he hesitated but hugged you back, strongly.

He let you go.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Why am I here?” He asked.

“I needed to give you this,” you said as you took it out. The printed script.

He gulped, staring at it, knowing exactly what it was. “I need to—I need an explanation.”

You nodded. “You deserve one.”

He coughed. “Yes I fucking deserve a bloody explanation y/n,” he lamented, he walked away from you “I can’t—I didn’t even have feelings for you anymore.”

That was what you didn’t want to hear. He couldn’t have feelings for you again. “Harry I’m—”

“No, no, y/n, right now,” He took a deep breath. “You didn’t call. You didn’t call me, or Tom or… Nobody, I need you to listen to me right now, and then I need you to answer my questions because I can’t… God, I love Emma.”

That was a relief. He loved Emma.

“This was all so bloody happy, I was happy, I was okay, I was happy, but it was too good,” he closed his eyes and shook his head. “Too perfect. Wasn’t it?” He asked, to the sky, not to you. “I just couldn’t be this happy, too good to be true. Innit?” You saw him playing with his tongue, probably licking all his inner cheeks. “But I don’t—Y/N, I can’t—I can’t get married right now. Emma is not speaking to me,” he gulped. “I mean I haven’t really…”He sat on the bench where you had once sat.

A very nice park for the awful conversation you were having.

You didn’t know what to say now.

He rested his face against his hands, he was stressed. His foot kept tapping. “I…” He gulped as he looked up, then he avoided your gaze. “I spent my whole life loving you. All my life, I’ve—I’ve been there.”

This was the first time you’ve heard him say it. He had never said it before. Not what this meant.

“And look, I was bloody fine with you choosing Tom, okay?” He looked up at you. He blew his cheeks. “Every. Single. Bloody time,” he snorted. “And I had to suck up my feelings you know? Never say anything and then—” He licked his lips. “why is this happening? Why did you have to say it now?” He asked you, now staring at you. “Fuck, you didn’t even say it, that’s just it, makes it even worse, right?” He frowned. He let out a long, loud sigh. “You wanted to keep that, or maybe you didn’t, because... “ He looked down at the script. “You wrote it didn’t you, and it’d be out there for the world to know, and you’re giving it to me now, meaning that you want me to know.”

“I want to fix this, okay? I want to bloody fix this! I can’t—-lYou gulped. But he didn’t understand this. But maybe he was right, were you jeopardizing his happiness with this, too?

“I don’t even have feelings for you,” he stated. “But now I’ll always have that bloody thought in the back of my head, what would’ve happened? The fucking ‘what if’.”

“Harry. I know. I bloody know—But I cant fucking—“

“No, no, listen y/n. I—I did a lot of things for you, okay?” He closed his eyes. “I spent my entire life trying to—I don’t even know, I changed myself for you,” he pinched the bridge of his nose, he stood up and paced around the bench, then rested his hands against it. “I’ve loved you since we were kids,” he whispered. “And I had to see you—And it hurt,” he paused. “And it hurt so much, that I had to—I can’t—I couldn’t help it,” he shook his head. “I tried to stop my feelings and they were never gone,” he pursed his lips. “And I kept them to myself as I could, knowing that I’d rather never have you love me back than to lose you forever,” he admitted.

“You think I didn’t fear losing you, too? That’s why I’m here! Because I can’t afford losing you!” You didn’t know what to say to him, because it hurt. Because it hurt that you had hurt him. But you knew that every time that you had tried to love him, you’d go back to Tom, and you’d keep going back.

“And now—And you know, then along came Emma,” he smiled sadly. “And I didn’t have to do anything,” he explained. “I didn’t have to change, I didn’t have to beg for her love and I loved her,” he stood back up, crossing his arms. “And I love her truly and deeply, and—And now she believes I’ll give up everything for you,” he sounded exasperated. “And—And, I won’t… But there’s still that voice in my head saying I will. Why the hell do I think I’ll do that too?”

“Harry, no, Emma is the right choice, please,” you pleaded. “Let’s—Lets.”

“I know she is, and I don’t want to give her up, I don’t want to,” he ran a hand through his hair. “But there’s a part of me that knows I will always come back to you.”

“Harry,” you couldn’t say anything, no words were coming out. You couldn’t even know what to think of this. “You are supposed to be with Emma. This is—“

“But was Tom telling the truth? I—I—is it true?” He asked. “I don’t even know if it’s true.”

“What?” You were barely breathing now.

“Did you…” He closed his eyes. “Did ever have feelings for me? And tell me the truth I don’t want any more secrets.”

You didn’t answer right away. But he wanted the truth. “Yes, I did have feelings for you.”

He held his head. “Don’t say that!”

“You told me to—”

“But… Why? Don’t say that! Not when I was supposed to marry her—When I am supposed to marry her.”

“Well that’s what bloody happened! I’m not lying anymore! I don’t want to keep things because look where it fucking led—“

“And it’s not that I want to be with you,” he was talking faster now, nervously. “I got over you and it was—-So bloody hard at first,” he admitted. “Seeing you always crushing on Tom, always him which really—Why the hell do you love him when he—does that? He’s— awful.”

“Don’t say that! He’s not awful,” you quickly defended Tom. Not sure why, Tom wouldn’t care if you defended him. “This was on me.”

“But why--Fuck, why?” He plopped back on the bench. “No, but y/n, I just—I need a bigger explanation.”

“It’s— what I’m bloody trying to—You think I brought that script for nothing?”

He interrupted again. “You don’t understand y/n, how much it hurt and—to know you did have feelings for me.”

“And you think I—“

“But… But!” He sounded crazy now. “I know those feelings are long gone,” he said, and nodded to himself. “Well, mine are. And we wouldn’t work.”

“No we wouldn’t.”

You waited for him to keep talking, knowing he was venting, and knowing he needed to clear it out.

“I just need you to understand that this is—” He widened his eyes, and shook his head. “It’s… “ he blew a raspberry. “And I’m angry at you,” he said. “Because—It’s supposed to be Emma.” He said. “It’s not you. Even if I tried it for so long, it’s —supposed to be Emma. But you—you said I shouldn’t marry her.”

You closed your eyes. “I did but it’s… A different situation, I said that as your friend, okay?” You lied. “I thought you weren’t bloody ready, but—That didn’t mean, I don’t even know why I said it okay? I was too confused that fucking day! I had just slept with Tom, and you bloody say it? That you want to get married? It was insane, Harry!”

He stayed silent for a while, staring at the script in his hands, he played with the paper.

“Are you going to say anything?” You snapped.

“When did you have feelings for me?”

“Before Rome and—“

“And?”

“Before Rome.”

He bit his inner cheeks. “We never talked after that”

“I know.”

“Was there even a conversation to be had?” He scoffed.

“I don’t know,” you scowled. “but there is one now, you need to be happy—“

“I can’t live like this, y/n,” he closed his eyes. “The fucking ‘what if’.” He sighed as he stood up. He took the script and then started to walk away.

“Harry, no, wait—We are not done talking.” You followed after him, you couldn’t let him go away without an explanation.

But as he turned around, and before you could even continue saying anything, his hands had pulled your face and his lips hand landed on yours.

IF YOU’RE GOING TO SEND AN ASK PLEASE REFER TO THAT ENDING AS ‘WATERMELON’ let’s not spoil it for everyone else 🍉

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist sequel name announcement

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takerfoxx · 3 years

Text

So long as I'm getting caught up on all my stuff, here's the next installment of the Walpurgis Nights girls watch The Rebellion Story, this time stretching from Homura shooting herself in the head to her talk with Sayaka the vague-poster!

Reminder:

G=Gretchen

H=Homulilly

Op=Ophelia

Ok=Oktavia

Ca=Candeloro/Mami

Ch=Charlotte

...

=still screaming=

G: Turn it off, TURN IT OFF!

Ok, panicking: I got it, I got it! Off!

=TV winks out=

Ch: Sweet Christ!

=long pause, and then Gretchen gets up and runs off. Homulilly quickly follows=

Ch: This was a mistake.

Op: What. The fuck?

Ca: I should have known. I should have known it would go this way.

Ch: Candy, there’s no way you could have-

Ca: No! There was! I knew how bad it could get! I knew how far we could have fallen! I shouldn’t have let you guys see any of this.

Ok: It’s not your fault.

Ca: I still should have known. I should have at least screened this!

Ch: Yeah, one of us probably should have.

=another long pause=

Ok: So, uh, are we, like, done?

=suddenly Gretchen reenters the room, followed by Homulilly. They silently return to their seats=

G: Okay. Play it.

Op: Gretch, are you sure?

G: I need to know. I need to know what happens to her. I need to know if we turn out okay. Play it.

=everyone exchanges uncomfortable glances, and then look to Homulilly, who slowly nods=

Ok: Okay, if you say so…

Op: We’d better ease it with the commentary. I mean, this isn’t something we can-

G: No! Please, no. The talking…and the jokes…well, it makes it easier.

Op: Sure.

Ch: It’ll be kind of hard to find anything funny about this.

Ca: We can try to do what we can.

=they start the movie, and silently watch as Homura falls in slow motion, blood and brains spewing out. And then…=

Op: Wait, hold up! How is she still moving?

Ca: As I said, something like that won’t kill her. You would need to destroy her soul gem.

Op: So she can straight up just blow her own head off and walk it off?

Ca: So long as the act of healing didn’t use up too much magic, yes.

H: Okay, but why? Why would I do something like that?

Ca: Let’s find out.

…

Ok: Uh…Ooooh.

H: Oh. Really?

G: What’s going on?

H: I couldn’t get rid of the ribbon on my ankle. Every time I tried to shoot it off, Mami would just grow it back. So I tried shocking her so badly that she wouldn’t think to regenerate the ribbon long enough for her to be caught in the time-stop.

Op: By shooting yourself in the head?!

H: Clearly, I have a considerable amount of emotional issues.

Ch: You know, it’s really starting to concern me how you keep referring to her as yourself just now.

H: I apologize. I will try to differentiate between my alternate selves.

Ok: Oh great, now I’ve gone cross-eyed.

…

Ch: So…this is really uncomfortable. Again.

G: Is she going to shoot Cand-I mean, Mami?

Ca: I mean, there’s clearly a moral struggle.

H: Well. At least I didn’t turn out as a complete sociopath.

Ok: This is seriously gross. Can we just skip this part?

Ca: No.

Ok: But-

Ca: No.

Ok: Okay.

…

Op: In the leg. Well, I guess that’s not as-

Ok: HOLY!

G: What’s happening? What’s going on?

Op: Sweet flames, she’s…a ribbon monster? The fuck?

=pause, and then Charlotte starts laughing hard while Candeloro just sighs=

Ok: Charlotte! Explain! Now!

Ch: She did it! She actually did it!

Ok: Did what?!

Ch: You’ll see!

H: Wow, I am…I mean, she is just all tied up now.

G: Wait, Mami’s there? But I thought…then what was…

Ca: Oh, good grief.

Ok: Wait. Wait a second, you can clone yourself?!

Ca: It’s…not so much a clone as it is a puppet.

Ok: Since when could you do that?!

Ca: Um, well, I had figured it out a short time before our, um, deaths. I was training with Kyo…with Ophelia, and we were practicing with her illusion magic. You know, the duplicates?

Op: Uh-huh.

Ca: Well, she suggested that perhaps I could do something similar with my ribbons, since I could use my ribbons to form other objects. And, well…it worked.

Op: Ooooh. Okay, that’s actually kind of awesome.

H: I was fighting a copy the whole time?! How is that fair?

Ch: You can literally freeze time!

H: Hey, wait. How do you know that she could do that, Charlotte?

Ch: How do you think?

Ca: Like we said: our therapist suggested building positive associations around my change. We had to get creative.

Op: Oh, come on, that’s not fair!

Ok: Wait, you were the one betting on her!

Op: I’m not talking about that! When I do my duplicate trick all I can do with them is give Tavi a show! It’s not like she can touch any of them!

Ok: Babe. Relax. It’s honestly fine.

Op: All I’m saying I should be able to give you a lap dance while the striptease is going on.

G: TMI! TMI!

Ch: You, uh, do know that you can give her the lap dance and let your illusions handle the striptease, right?

Op: Do you know how hard it is to handle two kinds of dancing at the same time when you’re horny?

G: Please, I am begging you to stop!

…

Ch: So…I think someone owes me and Fee-Fee some talents.

Ok: Fight’s not over yet!

Ch: It clearly is…

G: You don’t know that! Maybe Homura will drop a hand-grenade to blow the ribbons up! Or maybe Kyoko will come to save her.

Op: Look, if other-me tags in, that’s an automatic forfeit. This is supposed to be one-on-one, and that clone trick is stretching things as it is.

H: Wait, wait, shut up. Wraiths? What are wraiths?

Ok: Dunno.

Ch: Did we miss something? I get that that nightmares replaced the witches, but what are wraiths?

G: Maybe…after I erased witches, wraiths are what replaced them!

Op: We should’ve just watched the damn show first.

Ch: Do you really think it’ll make things make more sense?

Op: Probably not, but at least we’d know about half of these names!

Ch: Jesus Christ, the fuck is that?

Ok: The sky wants to eat that giant walnut, apparently.

Ch: I can see that, but what does it mean?!

G: I think that’s an eye, actually.

Ok: An eye with teeth.

Ch: None of that answers any of my questions.

Op: Nope, this would still be just as weird even if we watched the show.

…

Ch: And here comes the rescue! Via…fire extinguisher for some reason. Sorry girls, Mami takes this.

Ok: Fine, fine. Thanks a lot, Homulilly.

H: Not my fault. None of us knew about the duplicate thing. I had her beat until then.

Ok: Wait, is that a sword?

Op: Guess it ain’t me with the steel chair, then!

G: Well, of course not. It’s a sword.

Op: That’s not…never mind.

Ok: It’s me! I’m coming in to save you!

H: I’m touched. But…why?

Ok: Because I had fifty talents riding on you, and you let me down.

H: Oh, don’t start.

Op: Wait. That ain’t your voice, Tavi.

Ok: Who else has a sword?!

G: Um, who is that?

Ch: Some kind of kid. Candy, do you recognize her back from before?

Ca: No, I really don’t…

Op: Wait, BEBE?!

Ch: Excuse me?!

H: Um…this is…a turn.

Ca: Don’t look at me, I’m as bewildered as you are.

Ch: Oh, so first I’m a creepy idiot doll, and now I’m a fucking child?!

Op: What is this, some kind of alternate universe bullshit?

Ok: I mean, basically. Uh, you okay over there, Charlotte.

Ch: Nope!

Ok: Wanna take a break?

Ch: Yes!

…

=everyone returns after half-an-hour=

Ch: I think I’ve figured it out.

H: Oh?

Ch: Butterfly effect. Like, okay, in this universe, Madoka somehow erased all witches, right? I mean, made it so magical girls don’t turn into witches anymore, right? And did it all through history, right?

H: Presumably.

Ch: So that means that there has to be major repercussions! Like, like, this girl doesn’t turn into a witch fifty years ago, so she doesn’t eat some random passerby, and that rando goes and marries someone that would have married someone else in the original timeline, so they have a completely different set of kids, so the kids they would have had originally don’t get born! So somewhere down the line, things got all screwy and I ended up being born a few years later!

G: Wow, that actually makes a lot of sense.

Op: I guess we’re all super-lucky that we got born at all. And that the rest of us ended up more-or-less the same. Um, no offense.

Ch: Right. That’s all it is. Different timeline, things happened differently, and I’m a little girl in this world. That’s it.

Ok: So…are you okay with this then?

Ch: Oh, absolutely not! But I can at least deal with it now!

Op: Bet’cha anything that good ol’ Bebe here still has a major crush on Mami.

Ch: Oh, God! Don’t even go there!

Op: I’m just sayin’…

Ca: Ophelia…

Op: Stopping, stopping.

H: Shall we continue?

Ch: Yeah, I guess. I’m gonna need major therapy after all this is over, though.

G: We all will.

…

Ok: Okay, I know this is probably a bad time to point this out, but Sayaka has style!

Op: I mean, you’re not wrong. Look at you, being all effortlessly cool! Not that you aren’t already.

Ok: Nice save there.

Ch: Haha, Sayaka’s got it right! Taking on Mami was a dumb idea. Speaking of which…

Ok: Oh, come on! That clone trick was dirty and you know it!

Ch: Oh, I’m sorry. Are you upset that she so happened to have something that counters Homura’s extremely unfair timestop power?

Op: She’s got a point. A bet’s a bet.

G: All right, I guess it’s official. Mami won.

=Candeloro smirks=

H; You don’t have to be all smug about it.

Ca: True. I don’t.

…

G: Wait…

Op: So, what, Sayaka knows what’s going on?

Ok: Of course I do! I mean, I’m the brains of the bunch!

=Homulilly coughs=

Ok: I heard that.

H: I didn’t say anything.

Ch: Well, finally some exposition!

G: I do sort of wish that she’d just tell Homura what is going on without being so vague about it.

Ok: Look, I’ve been pretty much on the wayside this whole movie. Let me have my monologue.

Ch: What’s she getting at though?

H: Oh.

Ch: Huh?

H: I think…Never mind.

G: What is it?

H: I just had sort of a realization, but I’d rather not say it now.

Op: Eh?

H: Hang on. Let’s just watch a bit more.

…

Op: Jesus, Tavi! No need to show Homura up like that!

Ok: Let! Me! Have! This!

Ch: That was pretty cool, though. Shwing! Stopped her cold!

G: Wait, so one of us is the…

=voice trails off=

G: Is it me?

H: Um…

Op: Oh.

Ok: Oh.

Ch: What? Oh, okay. I get it now.

Ca: I sort of put it together too.

G: What? What are…Oh.

=everyone looks at Homulilly=

H: Well, it only makes sense. I guess.

Ch: You don’t seem all that upset about it.

H: Well, at least I get to become my best self in this movie.

G: But…how though? I thought I erased witches or whatever!

Ok: Let’s find out.

Ch: If your other self can ever get to the point.

Ok: Shhh…

…

Ca: Wait, I’m the witch? Is that what she’s implying?

Ch: Pretty sure that��s just a red herring.

Ok: You know, it’s nice that Sayaka is actually being all sympathetic toward witches. I mean, it’s kind of fucked up, isn’t it? That even the magical girls that know the score still hunt down witches instead of trying to help them.

G: I mean, it can’t really be helped, can it?

Ok: I know, I just like that I’m saying it.

G: The Law of Cycles? What’s that?

Op: Probably whatever trippy business you replaced the witch stuff with.

H: Oh, now I’m finally just saying it out loud! Madoka erased witches. Took us long enough to get to that point.

Op: Wait, sacrificed herself? Only Homura remembers her? What?

Ch: Pretty sure this was all explained in the show.

Op: Well, that’s what we get for watching this first. Should we go back and-

Everyone: No.

Op: Cool.

…

Op: Oh, freaky!

Ok: Wait, so I’m the witch now?

Ch: Could mean that in this timeline you turned into a witch before Madoka did her un-witching…thing.

Ca: That is what you looked like. Right before you became one with Charlotte, I mean.

Ch: Er…

Ok: Phrasing…

Ca: Oh, for Heaven’s sake. It is literally what happened. You turned into a witch while we were fighting Charlotte, and then the two of you fused. Then I became a witch and fused with that witch. And then Ophelia became a witch and we all fused together.

Ok: Yeah, but the way you said it…

…

H: Where’d she go?

Ok: Clumsy? You have the gall to call me clumsy? Who just saved who’s ass, just now!

H: Cut me some slack, it’s been a long evening.

Ch: Y’know you still got blood and brains all over your cheek, right?

H: I am certain that Homura does not care.

Op: I am certain that Homura is about to blow the brains out of the first punk-ass that looks at her wrong right about now.

Ok: Headshots for everybody!

H: Except Madoka.

Ok: Except Madoka. She can be the token un-brain-slushee.

G: Gee. Thanks.

Ca: I’d like to just point out that Homura came very close to turning me into a brain-slushee, but changed her mind.

Op: I doubt she’ll let you off so easy a second time.

Ch: Easy. Hey, may I remind you who won that fight?

H: You’re not going to let that go, are you?

Op: Tell yah what. Losing party treats the winners to dinner at the Tradewinds. Fair?

H: Fair.

Ch: Seriously? With the prices they have down there it’ll be cheaper just to cough up the fifty talents.

G: Yeah, but onion volcanoes!

Ch: Hard to argue with that logic.

Ok: So…on a scale of one to ten, how badly is Homura going to flip out when she realized that she’s the witch.

H: I will accept nothing less than a massacre.

Ok: Cool. Just so long as it’s not of us.

Op: I don’t know. The way this movie is going I wouldn’t be surprised if this turned into a straight-up snuff film.

#WN Rebellion MST

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