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#they'll sink down to anything once they realize you're ready to go
furiousgoldfish · 8 months
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Do you have any advice for leaving an abusive family? I just turned 20 and I can't stand living here anymore but I don't know where to start on leaving. I don't have any family or friends I can ask for help or stay with. I just got a part time job and I'm hoping to find another, but it's so hard to focus on work when I have to go home and deal with my family.
You're doing well! If you can gather enough money for rent for some time, and you know you won't be homeless if you leave, you'll be able to keep yourself safe and away. I can only imagine how difficult it is to focus, it's especially hell since abusive parents go out of their way to sabotage stability and to trigger their adult children just when they're trying to focus on work. Still, if you manage to keep a job for a while, and save some money, you'll have the financial safety to leave, and once you do, you'll be able to work it out more easily.
My only advice is to not let anyone know where you are, to keep everything secret as much as possible, to not tell them when you're leaving so they can't sabotage you, to temporarily cut off any person who might pressure you into coming back and to trust your instincts and your decisions. You actually have it in you to make the best decisions for your life. You have what it takes to survive, thrive and be stable. You can do this. All it takes it to have the desire to leave, money for some rent, and to secretly find an apartment, possibly shared to keep the rent low. Good luck.
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byulsgrease · 3 years
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duly noted
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you've never been one to obsess about your soulmate, assuming you'll figure it out when the time is right. but seriously, what kind of nonsense has yours been writing about recently?
(eventual moonbyul / wheein x gender neutral reader, soulmate!au, trainee/idol!au, ~1.2k words)
a/n: wheein bias wrecker anon! I might've had too much fun with your req and so this is gonna be my first soulmate au 🤠 while byul and wheein don't actually appear in this part (does that make this a prologue? idk), I promise they'll make their appearance soon enough :)
cw: struggles of being a trainee (weight + food talk)
The claps from your dance instructor ring out in the mirrored studio, calling everyone to attention before they send you off for the day. Everyone stands around listening to whatever niceties they're talking about, asking the rhetorical questions of whether all of you want this, how everyone needs to work harder, etc. How many years has it been now, almost three? Evaluations went pretty well recently and you've certainly demonstrated signs of growth since you started, but debut? Who knows. Does anyone, really?
But right now it's late and you're hungry, hoping that your growling stomach isn't loud enough to pierce through the lecture. You're respectfully tuned out anyway, since it's all old news. Nothing you haven't heard before. They clap again once their spiel ends and everyone disperses. Your eyes catch Hyejin's on your way out of the studio, sharing a funny face and an eyeroll before disappearing into the herd of trainees shuffling to the lockers.
Your locker opens with a routine spin of the dial, taking care to slow down and line up the numbers properly so you're not stuck having to do it over again. The inside's pretty cute for a metallic rectangle— it's really the only space of your own besides your notebook. Pictures of your family, old school friends, and fellow trainee friends line the sides beneath a tiny string of battery-powered fairy lights. It's not much, but always a humbling reminder of why you're here.
Unzipping your bag, you take out a pair of slides and drop them on the floor while stepping out of your sneakers. There's not much else in your bag, just a change of clothes and your notebook, of course. Everyone has one. Anything inside could be drawn, written, scribbled, painted. It’s your personal creative space and no one else's, but with two conditions:
You can't write your name in it, not even your initials. Of course everyone tried to as kids against their parents commands, but letters simply sink into the page, disappearing as if they'd never been written at all.
You can only mark up one side. Pages on the right side are for you, and the left side pages fill themselves. Fill themselves with what? you asked your parents. They gave you a non-answer, saying you'd figure it out someday. Great. Only other thing they bothered to tell you was that your right-hand pages were someone's left-hand ones. So someone can see what I put here? Their confirmation sounded rather casual, which you found weird. Someone out there was watching what you put in? But you got used to it, especially since every person owns one. It's a novelty for children anyway. Mark up a page however you want, knowing that someone out in the would will see, and sit back to watch whatever randomness shows up on the left side.
Your left side pages were actually empty for quite a while, save for the occasional "UGGHHH" followed by a typical childish annoyance scrawled messily across the entirety of the page in marker. Not that notebook use was mandatory, but parents usually encouraged it because it kept their kids occupied. There wasn't much you could do about empty pages, nor did you care most of the time, but it did leave you a little jealous of other kids at school who'd sometimes open theirs and be greeted with cute watercolor paintings, mini murals, or skillfully written poetry.
For you, the notebook's served many uses. As a kid it was random doodles and poorly-drawn fantasy scenarios— escapism, perhaps. In middle school it was angsty poems and random journal entries about the random happenings of your life. For the first half of high school it became your to-do list, keeping track of school assignments. And on the rarest occasion, song lyrics. Visual art was never your medium of choice, music came more easily. But drawing staff lines for music notation in the notebook usually ended up being too tedious, so your original stuff was mostly relegated to voice memos on your phone. And now? Who knows. Trainee life may as well be a blur. Sing, dance, talk, eat if you can afford to, sleep, repeat. It's hard to find the energy to write anything most days. Whenever you feel like checking, the left side has random jottings, nearly illegible most of the time.
It wasn't until you got older that you realized that whoever read your entries on the was the same person generating content on the left. And supposedly the person you're supposed to be with for the rest of time? What kind of system is that? I'm just supposed to trust blindly? having asked your parents in exasperation after figuring it out. Again with more non-answers— it had worked for them, didn't it? There's also the obvious question of why people don't just write directly to each other, but whatever. You're still young, no need to obsess over "the one" unlike some of your classmates. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, you figure. And it obviously is, you've got a notebook with (semi-)filled left side pages. What more could you ask for?
The cacophony of clanging lockers opening and closing starts to die down as people leave. Hyejin's head pops out from behind the locker door, laughing in your face when you flinch.
"Ready to go?"
"Yeah, one sec. Man, I'm starving,” you remark while slipping the bag straps on your back and closing the locker door. You don't even want to know how strapped for cash you are, probably in for another night of boiled eggs and canned kimchi.
“Wanna go out for food?” she immediately asks, eyes alight at the prospect of getting to eat something besides convenience store food.
"I wish. Actually, you wish," you smirk with longing in your eyes. The "no" doesn't even have to be said, weigh-ins are way too soon to risk it. She hangs her head, jokingly dejected as you swing an arm around her shoulder to walk out of the company building together.
~~~~
After scrounging up whatever food you call dinner, taking a shower, and flopping into bed, you open up your notebook and grab the random pen laying on your dresser, unsure of what you'll write about tonight. There's chicken scratch on the left page already, ballpoint pen. It's actually legible today, though: In my room every day I see your smile.
What the hell does that mean? Whose smile, yours? You haven't even met yet.
Call me everyday every night, hug me everywhere every time
Utter nonsense. Maybe meeting soulmates is just a huge game of catch-up once everything's finally revealed, surely yours will be. There’s just so many questions. Moving to the right side, you jot down a list of cheat meal ideas along with some assorted notes and pointers from practice that you want to work on tomorrow, drawing little characters next to each list item for fun. After accidentally drawing a random squiggle from jolting yourself awake and feeling the heaviness in your eyelids, you cap your pen and shut your notebook, placing it back in your bag. With the lights out, the last thought you have before sleep consumes you is why haven't you ever tried writing directly to each other after all this time?
[next]
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared
The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!
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dreamifics · 3 years
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Immature
Oneshot
Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings: Talk of sexual activities and stuff but no smut
Y/N joined the Avengers shortly after the big fight between Tony and Steve. Stark recruited her due to Fury's orders, she used to be under control of Hydra, like Barnes.. All of the Avengers had no problem with her, only one..
''Stupid Rogers!" Y/N shriek as she stares into her bathroom mirror..
Once again, Rogers benched her, because and she quote
'She used to be just like them!'
They were supposed to raid a Hydra facility, and something snapped at Steve's brain when he saw that Y/N was going too.
Y/N sighs, she just gripped the porcelain sink and steadied herself, she was ready to kill Steve, she was so angry.. Y/N just washed her face with the cold water from the faucet, hoping that it'll help ease the anger in her blood.
She exits the bathroom and was greeted by Bucky, he was sitting in her bed.
"Hello Tinman.." Y/N gave Bucky a smile.
"I want to apologize for--"
"You don't need to apologize in behalf of Steve.. I'm cool.."
"Are you really?"
"Yepp!No word of Captain Ass can get to me.."
Bucky crossed his arms, he knew she was lying.. Y/N just awkwardly smiled at him, she walks to her bed and dived in her bed..
"You can leave now, your boyfriend's might be missing you now.."
And in queue Sam and Steve popped up in her door, Steve was furious.. His eyes were fixed to Bucky, while Sam was just smiling slyly..
"Speak of the devils.." Y/N mutters as she gave Steve a deadly glare.
Bucky stood up from her bed and gave the two men a small nod.. Steve was still looking at Bucky but it soon averted to Y/N, she just raised her eyebrow at him.
"Have a fun mission, you two.."
"Will do, Y/N" Sam answered and gave Y/N a smile which she gladly gave back.
"Oh, Bucky!Pouvez-vous s'il vous plaît pousser le capitaine hors de l'avion pour moi?" Y/N spoke in french knowing that Bucky will understand.
Can you please push Captain out of the plane for me?
Bucky just laughs and shakes his head as Sam grabs him and drag him out of Y/N's sight. However, someone still hasn't left and it made her anger bubbled up even more.
"I swear to God if you don't leave, I'll squeeze your kneecaps.." Y/N said jokingly? She was not sure, she might just do that if Steve won't stop his douche ways..
"Cut it out, Y/N.." Steve ordered..
Y/N rolled her eyes, she sashay her way to Steve and move her face closer to his.
"You're not my Captain, you don't get to order me around.."
Y/N was supposed to walk away but was stopped by Rogers hand in her arms.. However, his hands didn't hurt her, his touch was soft and gentle.. Typical Steve..
Always a gentleman..
"I'm the Captain, you'll obliged to me.."
Y/N scoffs as she takes her arm away from him, she looked him deeply in his and saw that there were anger filling his blue eyes.. This guy really hates her..
"And what if I don't?What would you do?Fire me?Spank me?" She sassed but Steve eyes soften and his eyes wander to her body..
Y/N brows furrowed, what was Steve doing? He just stared at her and his cheeks suddenly got flushed.. Di-Did he just imagine what Y/N has said??
"What?" Y/N was weirded out, she hated the eerie silence between them and to top that up he might be imagining sexual things or so she thought..
"Capsicle, let's go!" Stark voice boomed out through the whole tower, it made Steve snap back to reality and he just walks away.
This made Y/N flabbergasted, he walked away just like that.. After the awkward silence and him being flustered, he just walked away with no explanation or whatsoever. Y/N just huffed in annoyance and flops back down to her comfortable messy bed..
What is wrong with Steve?
Days passed and it seems that Y/N is finally at peace, there were no longer eyes watching her.. Yes, Steve has given up.. How does she know? Simple, Steve is now avoiding and pretending she doesn't exist.. Which is fine by her, but there's this small pain in her heart.. She missed Steve acting like a douche..
Y/N mentally slaps herself, she used to complain about Steve always criticizing and annoying her but why is she missing it now? Y/N sighs as she slams her head in the table infront of her. A piercing pain welcomed her as her head hit the table but she ignored it.
"Umm, can I go on with my briefing?" Tony was standing in the middle of the big briefing room..
Y/N put her hands up and gestures an 'okay', she completely forgot that she was sitting with the Avengers in the middle of a meeting..
"Are you okay, Y/N?" Wanda was the first to ask her that, Y/N just let out a groan.. All of them just shared knowing looks and Tony fakes a cough.
"If you want to rest, you can go.." Tony chided..
"Alright.."
Y/N stood up and was almost to the door when Steve's phone suddenly rang, he answered it..
"Sharon?"
This name made Y/N stop, are they together? They look nice together, she hope that they'll break up soon.
"I'll be there.." Steve endes his call and stands up..
"Sorry everyone, I have a date with someone.." He push passed Y/N leaving her heart on the floor..
He has a date? Why is she even concerned about that? She doesn't care, Steve's stupid anyway!
"Wow, Capsicle is going on a date, I'll be damned.."
"And with Sharon?She's nice.." Wanda chirps in..
Meanwhile, Natasha notices Y/N who was dumbfounded and hurt by all the recent events..
"Aren't you gonna go, Y/N?" Nat asked with mischievous eyes wandering to her face..
Y/N put out a fake smile and left, how is she feeling this way? Does she like Steve? She groans as those thoughts eat her alive, maybe she just need a fresh air..
Yes, fresh air..
That's exactly what Y/N needs, she has been cooped up in the tower for weeks now.. She sped up to her room and grab her keys, jackets and Tony's credit card.. He won't mind it, that man is richer than the whole US goverment..
Y/N jogs to the elevator, turns out she's not going to be waiting for the elevator alone.. Steve is right there, also waiting for an elevator so he can go to his fancy date with someone else..
"Fuck.."
Y/N was deep in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Steve was looking at her.. She cleared her throat and walked up to the elevator doors..
"Up or down?" Steve asks making Y/N look at his stupid handsome face.
"Can't you figure it out Sherlock?" She's grumpy and she doesn't care.
"What?" Steve questioned.
"Down!"
"Could've just said that.."
"We're on the fuckin--"
"Language!" The infamous 'language', he's being dramatic as hell.
"Fine!We're on the freaking top floor and your asking me if I'm going up or down?"
"I didn't notice."
"You're just stupid.."
The elevator was taking forever, normally it would be up in a minute but she's been standing her for almost five minutes and the elevator is still a no show.
"This is taking forever, I'm going to take the stairs.." She was going to the staircase when the elevator doors opened..
"You're impatient.." Steve mumbles.
"Asshole.." Y/N mumbles back..
And before she knew it, she's pinned to the floor.. It happend so fast, Steve has pinned her down to the floor.. Their face were only inches apart, it made Y/N blush but she somehow hid it..
"Let me go, Steve.."
"Not until you beg for forgiveness.."
"Beg?Didn't know you had a kinky side, old man.."
Steve got flustered by her words, still he didn't let Y/N go.. She started to fight back by getting the upper hand and overpowering Steve.. Now she's on top, she smirks and inch her face closer to Steve's face.
"Dominant, I like that Cap.."
"Although, next time ask for a girls permission before you go and pin her to the floor.."
Without thinking Steve kissed Y/N, her eyes widen but soon she melted to the kiss. It started out soft but it became rough within seconds.. All of the unsaid feelings were mashed into the kiss.. She was out of breath but she didn't want it to stop.. Steve pulled back and smiled sweetly at Y/N, she was confused but she smiled back..
"You like me back?"
"No shit, Sherlock.." Y/N smiled but instead of Steve saying language he smiles back..
"You're so immature.."
They both laugh as Y/N got up and offered her hand to Steve, he gladly accepted..
"Go, you'll be late for your date..Wouldn't want to keep her waiting.." Y/N shooed Steve away but he just stands there..
"You are my date.."
"Well powder me in sugar and call me a donut.. Was all this planned?" Steve nods and Y/N just shakes her head in disappointment, she interlock her arm to Steve's arm.
"Let's go eat some ribs and steaks, Cap.."
On the briefing room with all the remaining Avengers,  they were cheering and celebrating as they watch the two from a surveillance camera.
"Not bad, Cap.." Natasha mumbles as she eats popcorn with Wanda and Bucky.
By commenting, or reblogging this post, you’ll be telling me that you’re interested in being on my tag list! You’re also welcome to DM me or send me an ask if you’re more comfortable with that :)
If you guys have any request for a oneshot about ( marvel characters, DC characters, stranger things, game of thrones, brooklyn 99, friends, basically anything! I accept everything!)
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Californian Dream (Pt. 08 of 11)
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Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader
Word count: 2.9 K
Summary: Being part of one of the richest families of California doesn't mean you're happy. Your life is boring, and you're surrounded by meaningless people and their meaningless talk. Even during Summer, with the break you have from college, there's nothing good going on. Nothing but the new pool guy, Billy, the most handsome man you ever saw. You were successfully avoiding him, not wanting to act like an idiot in front of the guy until Billy accepts to be your date for a fancy gala you're forced to attend. The night was going well, even better when he sneaked you out to go to the beach. But a gang of criminals breaks into the party, kidnapping the heirs to the wealthiest families, which includes you. So, for your safety, your parents want you to stay with Billy, living in his apartment until the criminals are caught. And that could take weeks, maybe even months.
Warnings: Light violence
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Next part (09)->
{Stranger Things Masterlist}
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×
Decisions
A low knock on the door wakes you up. Your cheeks are stained by dry tears, and your head hurts. It takes a while for you to even process who's knocking, but you don't want to talk to him. “Go away.”
“(Y/N), I'm sorry, alright? I shouldn't have said those things, I didn't mean any of that.” He sounds defeated, tired, sad. It's hard to hear him through the door, but still, the last thing you want is to look at him right now.
“You made everything crystal clear, Billy.” You mumble, pulling a second blanket over your body. “Don't worry, I'll be leaving tomorrow.”
“(Y/N), please, I...” You hear him sigh, and your heart hurts for him. Hugging your pillow, you stare at the darkness. “These guys, they... They said some things and... It reminded me of my father.”
“Your father?” You ask because Billy never spoke of him. He did mention a stepsister, Maxine, and her mother Susan, but never the father. You knew he had a reason for it, but you never wanted to push him into telling you something he didn't feel comfortable with.
“Yes. He was a damn devil. He was abusive, he hit me, and what those idiots said to me today... It was the same things Neil once did and everything just came back and I...” He makes a pause, and you slowly sit up, looking at the door, the piece of wood separating you from Billy. “I shouldn't have said those things to you, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise. And I understand if you want to leave... But I just need you to know that I didn't mean any of that. You're nothing like those people. You're kind and honest and noble... You're... You're amazing, (Y/N), truly.” After some seconds, you listen as he walks away.
Your heart sinks at what he said. At the pain in his voice. And as much as you're hurt by his outburst, he did had a reason. Memories can be tough, they have the power to drag you back to the very moment they were created, and now, thinking about it, you did see a hint of sadness in Billy's eyes earlier, you just couldn't recognize it. So this is why he fled. He wasn't just running from a small town, he was running from living in hell to the place he felt like home.
Taking a deep breath, you stand up, leaving the blanket behind despite the cold air that makes you shiver. Slowly, you move to the door, trying to open it as quietly as you can. As soon as you're out, the low noise of the TV and a bluish light hits you.
Billy is seated on the couch, elbows on his knees, and his eyes on the floor. It takes a few seconds until he notices your presence, raising his eyes.
“I'm sorry your father was a dick.” You whisper, standing there, eyes locked with Billy. “And whatever those guys said, it isn't true. I don't know what it was, but it isn't true.” Making your way to the couch and sitting beside him, you notice the bruise on the apple of his cheek. “What's that?”
“He punched me and I punched back.” As he speaks, you touch his cheek, delicately. “It got me a warning from the company. If it happens again, I'm fired.”
“It happens again, you give me the name and address and I'll beat them up for you.” Leaning closer, you ignore his chuckle, placing a soft kiss on his bruise, but your lips barely touch his skin since you don't want to hurt him more than he's already hurt. “I mean it.” Then you start kissing him. His cheek, his jaw, the corner of his lips. “Don't you ever believe anything they say.” When you realize what you're doing, you pull away, blushing and looking down. “Well, you should go to sleep now. The bed is yours.”
Nodding, he hesitates a little before standing up. But when he does, he doesn't move. “You know... It's a double bed. We'd both fit there.” Billy reaches out his hand, and you look at it for a while, considering his idea before taking it.
“Yeah, it does.” Standing up, you walk with him back to the bedroom.
It happens silently, as if it had happened many times before. When you lie down, facing away from him, you both move at the same time. You search for his hand, to pull it over your waist, as he moves to do so. “Is it ok?”
“Yes.” You mutter, eyes already closed as you slowly sink into a peaceful sleep.
When the morning comes, you only notice because Billy starts moving. Groaning a little, and still very cold, you turn around, snuggling closer to his chest. “Don't go.” You beg, knowing it's still on the week days, which means Billy has to work. “You're so warm.” Taking a deep breath, you hook your leg around his waist, as if it could keep him from getting up.
“I have to go to work, but I'd stay if I had a choice.” He giggles, running a hand through your leg. “Funny, you're...” You feel his hand on your neck as he mutters something you don't understand. “That's not good.”
“What?” You whine, a little upset and embarrassed, since you just realize how your leg was around him, so you move it off.
“You're burning up.” Billy gets up suddenly, fixing the blankets around you. “I'll go get something from the drugstore to lower your fever.”
You didn't notice the fever. Well, you've been feeling cold, but you thought it was the air-conditioning. “No. I don't want you to be late because of me.” Pushing yourself up, you sit straight. “I can get it.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Billy...” Jumping to your feet, you walk fast until you reach him by the door. “It's just a fever. There's no reason for you to worry.” Shyly, you take his hand. “Just do your stuff and I can get some medicine later.”
“No. You've been complaining about being cold for a few days, it's bad enough you'll have to be alone here, I'll–”
“I'll be fine. I can call Stacy. Remember she said she has the week off? I will ask if she can stay with me.” It's not a big deal, and you don't understand why Billy is so worried about it. “Really, I'm alright.”
He takes a deep breath, a hand cupping your face, his thumb softly caressing your skin. Yesterday's fight is long forgotten now, for both of you. “Alright. But I'll be at the Whaylands today. Anything happens you call there, and ask to talk to me. Say it's an emergency or something like that, ok?”
You don't know the Whayland's number, but you just nod. “I'll be fine, don't worry.” Smiling, you tiptoe a little but give up halfway, blushing and looking away.
“You can kiss me if you want.” He smirks, bending a little to capture your lips. It takes no time until you react, but when you remember you have a fever, you push him away. “What?” He sounds confused, eyebrows furrowed.
“I might have a cold or something. I don't want you getting sick so...” Shrugging your shoulders, you feel a little brave. “But when I'm better, I wouldn't mind kissing you.”
“That's good to know.” He smirks. “Now, call Stacy and ask her to stay with you. I'll take a shower and get ready to work.”
“Alright.”
Despite him saying you don't have to, you make him breakfast, and a sandwich he can eat on the road. Stacy comes a couple of hours later and you take the pills she brought you. You like Stacy, and you feel free to be yourself around her, the rules you once followed completely left behind. So you're laughing out loud all day, even taking a walk on the beach after lunch. You can't wait to tell her and the others the truth. Your real name at least. They still call you Lily, and as far as they know, you've been crashing on Billy's until you find a place for yourself. But you do want to tell the truth, and you hope they'll understand why you had to lie. But now, that's a distant thought. Jimmy shows up at the end of the afternoon after Stacy calls him. And, with you both annoying him to death, he starts making dinner, which only makes you and Stacy boss him around with giggles and jokes.
“No, listen up now.” He says after putting the chicken in the oven. “Enough with bugging me, you two. I wanna know something.” Raising an eyebrow, he gestures at you, dramatically slamming his hands on the table, making you roll your eyes. “You and Billy.” He says. “What's going on?”
Feeling your cheeks burning up, you clear your throat, looking at your hands. “Nothing.”
“I didn't take you for a liar," Stacy says, crossing her arms.
“I'm not...” Taking a deep breath, you run a hand through your hair. “I'm not lying. There's nothing between Billy and I. Just... We just kissed a few times but–”
“I knew it!” Stacy exclaims, cutting you off and startling you a little. “Since that day at the party when we met.”
“Really?” Despite being a little shy, you do want to know whatever she thinks she knows.
“Billy had a lot of... Flings. But he never stood up for any of them. He never truly cared. So when he beat up Chad like that... I knew something was off.” She exchanges a glance with Jimmy, smirking.
“And, c'mon, the way he looks at you is so cute.” Jimmy makes a funny voice and you giggle. “He's really into you. And Billy was never into anyone.”
“Of course he was.” You exclaim.
“No, no,” Jimmy speaks up, shaking his head lightly. “He gets a girl he finds attractive when he's bored, that's one thing. Being into someone is completely different.” As the plays with the dishcloth, he takes a seat across from you. “And I did find it weird when he suddenly stopped showing up with a different girl every day, and now I know why.”
“I don't know... I mean, we're good now, but... It's nothing official, so...” Shrugging your shoulders, you look down, taking a deep breath. “But I'm happy the way things are now and who knows what may come next? I'll just take things slow.”
“You know what comes next.” Stacy chuckles. “Trust me, you'll two be dating in no time.”
“I bet,” Jimmy adds.
“Guys, just–” The door opening cuts you off, and you can't help but smile to see Billy. “Hey, you.”
“Hey, you.” He answers, glancing at the other two. “Hi, everyone else who doesn't live here.” Closing the door shut, he makes his way over you. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yup.” Nodding, you blush when he bends over to place a kiss on your lips.
“Good. I'll shower and... Something's burning.”
“Jimmy!” Both you and Stacy shout and the poor guy sets in motion, crouching in front of the oven.
“Please don't let Jimmy burn the kitchen to the ground,” Billy whispers on your ear before heading to the bathroom.
The chicken was burned, but Jimmy had the decency of taking those parts for himself. Other than that, he's quite a good cook. And this dinner is nothing like the formal meals you had back home. It's loud, filled with laughter and stupid jokes, that are no fun at all but make you laugh anyway. An hour later, after Jimmy went to the grocery store to buy chocolate bars for dessert, you're just seating at the table, fighting with Stacy for the last piece.
“Oh, listen up!” Jimmy raises his voice, making both you and Stacy quit arguing. And you decide to let her keep the bar. “I spoke to my grandfather's friend and... He'll give you a chance. So show up on Monday by nine and I'll start filling you up with everything you gotta know.”
“Oh my gosh, for real!?” You exclaim, a bright smile on your lips. “That's absolutely amazing. It'll be so fun working with you.” Standing up, you bend over the table a little to high-five Jimmy. “Great!”
“So... Will I have to ask?” Billy speaks up when you sit down again, staring at you.
“Well, I was waiting for an answer before telling you. Jimmy said something about a diving equipment store so I asked him to speak to the owner to get me a job.” Turning your body towards Billy, you smile. “And it seems like it's happening.”
“Are you sure you want an actual job?” He asks, and you know what he means. You never had a job before, and well, you don't understand much about diving stuff. But you want this. You want to have something to do, and you want to make some money too, despite the untouched bag of money you have.
“Yeah. Jimmy promised to teach me everything I need to know and he'll keep his promise or else nobody will ever hear of him again.” As you speak, you stare at Jimmy, lowering your voice.
“I'm not scared of you, Lily. But I'm scared of Billy so don't worry I'll keep the promise.” He winks at you, and you can tell he's bringing the Chad incident back again.
“You know what...” Stacy says, taking a dramatically deep breath and getting up. “It's a little late and I believe these two want some alone time so we should get going.”
“Agreed.” Jimmy quickly follows her lead. “Well, see you guys around.”
“Bye.” You mutter, already moving to the sink to do the dishes.
Billy joins and helps you, so it's done in only a couple of minutes. Then, you move to the couch, and you couldn't contain your happiness when you found Grease on TV, and somehow you managed to make Billy watch without complaining too much. At the beginning of the movie, you were seated normally, side by side, but as time went by, you started to move, closer and closer, until you're lying down, with Billy's chest pressed against your back in a spoon position. But the awkwardness faded soon enough, and you surrendered to the bliss of being held by him.
When the movie ended, you started singing along to the last song, trying to annoy Billy as much as you could. But up next is a horror movie, and of course, Billy is forcing you to watch it since he threw the remote control somewhere on the floor and won't let you get up to take it. But since it isn't very good, both of you started to lose interest.
“Hey...” He mutters. “Are you sure about this job thing? What if your father calls tomorrow saying this whole thing is over and you can go back home?”
“Uhm...” You weren't thinking about that. Actually, the life you're living now has easily become the only life you have. The rest feels more distant with every passing day. But the decision isn't hard to make. Now, you know what you want, and you will do what makes you happy. “I'd still show up on Monday. I want this job. I want to have a purpose in life, even if it's selling diving stuff.” Shrugging your shoulders, you furrow your eyebrows at a particularly disgusting scene.
“I don't think your parents would allow it,” Billy speaks low, and you feel as he moves the hair away from your neck, starting to run his fingers through the skin, so softly you barely feel it.
“To hell with me what my parents think.” His fingertips burn, but it makes you shiver at the same time. You can't help but close your eyes at the sensation, giggling a little when he touches a ticklish spot. “This feels nice.”
“Does it?”
You're about to answer when you feel his lips replacing his fingers, and breath gets caught in your throat. For a girl who had never truly kissed anyone before, this is a whole new level. “Oh...” You mutter, lightly elbowing him, mostly out of nervousness, when you feel his teeth on your skin. “Didn't take you for a biter, Hargrove.”
“Only if you ask.”
“Alright then...” Moving, you turn around until you're facing him, your lips chasing his as if it's a matter of life and death. And it kinda is. You felt like you were dead, suffocated by all the things you had to participate in, the friends you had to pretend to like, the formal meetings, the family business, the rules, and etiquette. Everything you didn't want to be. But when Billy came along, you felt like you were finally allowed to swim to the surface and breathe. Billy is real, he doesn't fake it. When he's angry, he's angry, and when he's sad, he's sad.
In a way, Billy brought back to life, down to Earth, and pulled you up among the clouds at the same time. Because that's where you are now, kissing him, for far too long maybe, with only a few pauses to catch a breath. It's addictive, inebriating, and you'd stay here forever if you could because nothing else matters. His hands run through your body, respectfully, never pushing you, never going too far. You'd never expect this from the Billy Gisele told you about.
“We should be together.” You let out once you break apart again, catching your breath. But you regret it because you might have ruined the moment... But you can't help but wonder how many girls Billy had, in the exact position you are now, making out, just so it'll all over the next day. And you don't want that. You want him, for more than just a couple of days... And yes, you failed. You are falling in love with Billy. Clearing your throat you shake your head. “I mean... I just thought...”
“Look at me.” With his index finger, he lifts your head so you're staring into his eyes again. “This won't ever be accepted by anyone in your circle. Parents, friends, relatives... You know that right? Nobody will support this relationship.”
“I don't need their support. I've been told what to do my whole life. What clothes to wear, what friends I should grow close to, what to major in... I'm tired of this shit, I want you.” It just comes out, too fast, and you don't even know what to say to cover it up. Because it's the truth. “California never felt like home to me until you came along. This... This place feels more like home than the house I grew up in.”
“I... I wish you could stay here.” Billy's voice it's so low it makes you wonder if you heard him right.
“Stay here as in... Mmm... Living here? Even after the gang is arrested?” Blushing, you decide to be brave and ask him. It's not like you could pretend you didn't hear it. And yes, living here sounds a lot better than going back to the house.
“Yeah.” He nods, taking a deep breath. “I can't give you a big ass garden, a pool or–”
“I'd trade all of that for kisses, so I think we'd be good.” Rolling your eyes, you cut him off, raising an eyebrow.
“Oh, really?” In a fake menacing tone, Billy stars to move, trying to stay above you, but there's no enough couch and you start falling off.
“Billy, wait!” Laughing, you try to push him off. “I'm falling!”
“That's too bad.” Even though he doesn't stop and you do miss the couch completely, he manages to hold you by the waist, breaking your fall and instead, laying you softly on the floor before moving to hover above you, his body pressing yours against the cold ground.
Smiling, you wrap your arms around his neck. “You know I can–”
“Be my girlfriend.” Billy cuts you off, his face getting all serious suddenly. He's not joking.
“W-what?” It's not that you didn't get it, it's just that you can't believe. And, by the look on his face, he took that as a doubt. He's beginning to move away, but you grab a handful of his shirt, forcing him to stay where he is. “Yes.” You burst out, biting your lip. “I wanna be your girlfriend.”
The smile that comes to his lips is beautiful, breathtaking. Your favorite view in the world. “Good.” And with that, he leans down to kiss you again.
×
@multific @dontxfearxthereaper @nope-thanks @nikkixostan @shinydixon @clockworkballerina @infinitelycharmed23 @lilred91
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accomplice-tendou · 3 years
Text
Chapter Twenty Three
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁
Y/N'S P.O.V.
"U-Uh anyway Y/N, we're here to talk to you about what happened last week."
"Last week?" I reply as I sit up, "What about it? I thought everything was okay?"
You watch as Tendou and Goshiki exchange glances before asking you to redescribe the event.
"Fine," you groan, "I was watching the cop talk to his friend about how he was determined to get me specifically because he's got some information from my file."
You shrug and wait for the guys to finally move on from the tedious conversation. Unfortunately for you, the opposite happens.
"What files?" they both ask frustratedly.
"I dunno, the police files I guess," you shrug, "we talked about this already."
Tendou narrows his eyes and shakes his head.
"No we didn't," he tells you, "Y/N are you hiding something from me?"
You shift your gaze to Goshiki and see he's got a serious look on his face. It's way more intense than what you're used to seeing from him, almost frightening.
"N-No, I'm sorry. I thought I told you guys."
You hang your head in defeat, the deafening sound of silence consuming you.
Suddenly, without a word, Tendou grabs your arm and pulls you up. You go with him, not putting up a fight as he roughly pulls you down the hall and into his room. You only notice Goshiki's presence when the door shuts behind him.
You watch as Tendou begins searching for something on his laptop. Once he's done, he pats his lap and ushers you to sit with him. You steal one quick glance at Goshiki, who now looks a bit worried, as you walk over to Tendou.
Tendou types something quickly onto his computer and a Youtube video pops up. Right away you notice the video's got thousands of views.
As the video begins, you squint slightly to get a better look at the poor quality of what seems to be from an older phone. However, the scene is still clearly recognizable.
You see a man, around the age of twenty, with a black eye and blood covering the majority of his face. In the background you hear a familiar voice laughing wildly. You gasp once you recognize the voice as Tendou's. Additionally, you hear muffled grunts from the assaulter who you recognize as Goshiki even though his face isn't shown.
What the hell?
Realizing that you've got a good understanding of what he's trying to show you, Tendou lifts his arm and points to the man getting beat up.
"That dude," he states confidently, "was hiding information from us."
Your heart starts beating out of your chest. You know exactly what Tendou is trying to say and you know one small screw up and you'll be done for.
"Y/N, I want you to know that I'd never even think about hurting you," Tendou whispers as he plays with your hair, "but if you hide something from us, I won't be able to control the others."
For the first time since being with Tendou, you feel tears streaming down your face. Not in fear of the police or getting caught, but of the group you were surrounded by. You know you didn't purposefully hold back information, but will these guys really not hold back after your mistake?
"Enough," you hear Goshiki's voice from behind you.
Quickly, Goshiki pulls you off of Tendou's lap and tries to embrace you reassuringly.
"I really didn't mean to hide anything," you sob to him, "I'm sorry."
As you continue to stay in Goshiki's arms, you hear the chair Tendou was in scape against the floor and heavy footprints walk towards you. Roughly, Tendou grabs onto your face and forces you to look into his eyes.
"Then tell us, Y/N, what did you hear him say?"
"H-He said that he has our files i-in his home," you reply shakily.
Tendou lets go of your face and nods to Goshiki. You feel his arms hold you tighter for a moment before he whispers a goodbye.
Once Goshiki walks away and out of the room, you feel less secure standing there with Tendou alone. In fact, you back up slightly until Tendou takes hold of your hand.
"Please, Y/N," he says calmly, "tell me the rest."
You begin to tell Tendou about the conversation you overheard the other day. You make sure to emphasize the part where Daichi said he could get in trouble if you and your friends weren't caught soon.
Once more you can't help the tears roll down your face. Thankfully though, this time it wasn't because you felt uncomfortable around your friends.
Tendou hugs you tight, letting you cry as much as you need.
"Don't worry, Y/N," he soothes as he rubs your back, "I'm going to protect you no matter what."
Your heart sinks. You felt awful for how you perceived the situation before. Tendou wasn't trying to hurt you, he was showing you that he needed you to be honest in order for him to take care of you. Knowing this, you throw your arms around him holding him tight.
"I'm so sorry."
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"They'll be here any second," Tendou tells you the following day as you wait for the others to arrive.
"Why can't we just text them," you groan as you cover your face, "they're all going to hate me even more."
"You know it isn't safe that way," Tendou rolls his eyes, "but anyway they're not going to hate you. They don't hate you now."
"Ushijima does," you sigh.
"He's just like that," Tendou laughs, "He still likes you. I promise."
Just as the doorbell rings, you roll your eyes. You watch as Tendou walks over to answer the door followed by the rest of the group shuffling inside, sitting near you.
"All righty," Tendou beams, "We're all here because Y/N has something she remembered from what happened last week."
"She just remembered?" Shirabu asks with a hint of confusion and sarcasm.
"No, but we didn't have time to set up a meeting until now," Tendo lies, covering for you, "Go ahead, Y/N."
"Well the other day when I heard the cop talking, he mentioned having our files at his house and-"
"I told you Tendou," Ushijima stands, "Y/N lies and we can't trust her."
Quickly, Tendou pushes Ushijima away from the group.
"You're always pulling this crap," he berates his friend, "Just sit and listen to her for once!"
As you watch the scene Goshiki puts his hand on yours, pulling your attention to him.
"They're not going to do anything," he whispers, "don't worry about Ushi, k?"
You nod and once more your attention gets stolen. This time by Semi who sighs before pulling out his laptop. Even Ushijima and Tendou stop bickering as they watch Semi type something frantically and stare down at the scene with a burning intensity.
"Alright, I got his address," Semi calmly explains.
"See Y/N I told you it'll be fine!" Tendou smiles as he practically skips over towards Semi, "but I am going to need to borrow you again."
You look over at Goshiki who shrugs before catching on to the situation.
"It's what you gotta do," he says with a small smile.
Shirabu then calls you and hands you a small device.
"Here take this," he says, "and place it in the room where the files are."
"Oi, why'd you bring that with you?" Reon laughs.
"Shut up, I just had it on me," he retorts.
"Ooo, Shirabu's a little freak huh," Tendou laughs.
Shirabu ignores the comments and continues to explain to you how to work the device. He mentions that it'll allow them to hear what's going on in the room after you're gone. Once he is done, you give him a thumbs up and look over to your partner.
"Ready to go?" he smirks.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years
Text
Gateway Drug | Part Thirty-Eight
Table of Content or Part Thirty-Seven
Read here on wattpad
A/N: Question — what song do you think of when you think of Nikki and Viv? I'm trying to see something
Word count: 3.3k
Warning(s): Explicit language, Sexual situations, Drug abuse
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My bare feet hook underneath his thighs the second I realize he's about to  finish and he gives a crooked smirk up at me, his breathing beginning to shallow.
Nikki holds my hips still, groaning out as his cum coats the inside of me, causing me to let out a hazey moan, my mind cloudy from our rather lengthy round.
Once he's finished, I'm getting off of him and falling beside him, catching my breath as we recover is silence fore several minutes.
"Are you on birth control or something?" He asks me out of nowhere and I tense up, looking at him.
"Why're you asking?"
"I've been thinking about it since Vince and Sharise had Skylar, for some reason. I mean, I haven't used a rubber since we started dating and most of the time I don't pull out, and we've only had one pregnancy scare in the past, what, like, four years?"
"You've managed to keep track of how long we've been together?" I ask him, pretending to be shocked and he gently hits my arm with the back of his hand, and I chuckle, rolling over to face him, my lips pressing to his bicep for a moment.
I think I'm in the clear, dodging his question, but I'm not.
"I'm being serious, Viv, are you on something or...?" He asks and I lick my lips.
"Maybe my antidepressant affects fertility, I don't know." I shrug, lying through my teeth. "Drugs can cause issues on your end, too, so maybe that's another reason."
"Oh." He replies.
I avoid looking at him, sitting up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed before reaching down to grab his shirt by my feet.
You know those lies, that start simple and small, and then snowball more and more over time and explode in flames from hell that melt the snow and turn it into scalding hot water that leaves third-degree burns on the person that's being lied to? Yeah, we both had lots of those, and that was one of mine.
I
take a shower and brush my teeth, excited for my plans tonight, and as I start putting makeup up on, Nikki's getting in the shower.
"Are you and Robin going out tonight?" I ask him.
"Uh, yeah. Sparkie's coming, too." He replies and I roll my eyes.
I know they'll go out to a club and hide in the bathroom, shooting up and snorting blow a  majority of the time, only leaving to get some drinks.
"My doctor was really curious as to why I needed a refill so soon being that he gave me a month supply a week before Sparkie traded it." I comment to remind him Sparkie's a piece of shit.
"Sparkie learned his lesson, baby." He tells me in a half-chuckle and I raise my brows at myself in the mirror and turn the sink on.
"Jesus fuck, Viv!" He screams, being bombarded with ice cold water for a moment.
"Awe, I'm sorry, maybe Sparkie can sympathize with you." I reply smartly.
He's getting out of the shower, covered in suds, glaring at me, and I take off running with him chasing close behind.
"Spoiled brat!" He calls at me, the both of us naked as jaybirds.
"Trader bastard!" I say back, right before he catches me, pulling me against his wet, soapy body, his hands not skipping a moment to start tickling me.
I squeal, the both of us falling to the floor, my feet and legs kicking out of instinct.
"Don't you do it." He threatens. "Remember what happened last time."
"Not my fault you're a pussy." I reply, immediately regretting it when he starts tickling me again, this time, getting on top of me to pin me down.
He doesn't let up until I'm laughing so hard I'm in tears, and he's tired of struggling with me.
We look at each other for a minute, before he grins and kisses me.
"I gotta finish getting ready." He tells me, getting off of me and helping me up.
"Yeah, I do, too."
I decided a nice trip to Malibu would be a great thing for GN'R. I mean, go to Tansy's house there, have her invite over some of her single girl friends to mingle with the guys, stay over night so they don't have to worry about whether or not they'd be able to crash at their stripper friends' apartment and sleep on the floor that night, have a nice breakfast together the next morning, and just give Axl and Izzy time to really get to know Tansy, because they haven't hung out with her very much, while Slash, Duff and Steven see her almost more than I do.
I glance around the living room of Tansy's Malibu beach house, seeing beach bunnies all around with perfectly tanned skin, bombshell hair and perfect smiles, then look at Steven and Slash, who seem to be having a pretty good time.
They both look like they're in heaven, girls on either side of them, obviously fans of their work on the Sunset Strip back in L.A.
Izzy took a girl up to the guest bedroom long ago, while Axl's just nursing a bottle of Jack, with a beautiful brunette chattering his ear off while he's pretending not to care about what Tansy's doing as she talks to one of her girl friends across the room.
I do a mental head count, and notice my 6'4 blonde is nowhere to be seen.
Maybe he found a girl or two of his own and followed in Izzy's footsteps, taking over a spare room?
I brush it off, deciding it's none of my business and step to the kitchen to grab a Pepsi out of the fridge. 
When I pass by the doors that lead to the balcony over looking the ocean, though, I see the outline of someone sitting in the lounge chair. 
Recognizing the slender frame, I grab my soda and head outside, Duff looking over his shoulder to see who I am, before smiling at me innocently, bottle of Vodka by his foot and pack of Marlboros on one knee as a sketch pad and pen are being supported by his other.
"Hi." I say as he scoots over to make room for me. "Mr. Social Butterfly." I add, sarcastically.
"Hey." He replies, moving his Vodka over so I won't knock it down with my foot.
"I figured you be eating that up." I motion to the door, referring to the gorgeous girls inside and he chuckles a little.
"I don't know, I haven't really been feeling chicks lately." He tells me and I furrow my brows a little.
"Well, I'm sure she has some boy friends, too, if you're feeling something different." I inform him, knowing what he meant, but he laughs and shakes his head.
"Not like that, Viv." He tells me and I pull my red hair behind my shoulders to get it out of my face, before taking a sip of my drink. "I've been, uh, working on something new, kinda. The lyrics have been going off left and right in my head, I just thought I'd better get somewhere quiet and write them down before I lose them." He explains, holding up his notepad.
"Oh, I'm sorry." I feel like I've intruded, or messed up his groove, about to leave him alone to finish but he puts his hand on my knee to stop me from standing up.
"No, no, it's fine." He insists, taking his hand off of me, not thinking anything of it, despite me feeling warmth radiate from where he touched me.
I ignore it.
"I've already gotten everything I had in mind, so far." He explains. "Just a verse and chorus."
"What's the name of it?" I ask, and he scratches the back of his neck.
"I don't know if I need to tell you. I'm superstitious about this stuff, Viv." He tells me, even though he's completely full of shit.
He just wants to aggravate me.
"It's just the title, Duff. You let me hear you say 'turn around, bitch, I gotta use for you' and this can't be worse than that." I point out and he chuckles, licking his lips before looking at me.
His hand covers the lyrics, exposing the title line of the page.
"Paradise City" is scribbled in his writing and I smile when he moves his hand and let's me read  the chorus, and verse that he's gotten so far, a giant smile pulling at my lips.
"Who the hell inspired this?" I ask him, raising my brows.
"Nobody particular." He shrugs. "You like it?"
"I already love it." I tell him.
Not to compare two completely different bands who earned their names all on their own, but there are a few song parallels between Guns N' Rose's Appetite for Destruction, and Mötley Crüe's Girls, Girls, Girls albums.
Guns' Welcome to the Jungle was like Mötley's Wild Side. Paradise City was like Girls, Girls, Girls. Mr. Brownstone was like Dancing on Glass. But my favorite parallel has to be Sweet Child O Mine and You're All I Need.
I remember Nikki had given me a tape of You're All I Need after we got into a massive argument because he thought I was spending too much time with Duff. But he had practically accused me of having feelings for Duff, and even acting on them (which was pretty hypocritical being that he'd been screwing Vanity since 1986 at that point.)
A few weeks later, Nikki convinced me to come down to the studio so he could personally give me a copy of a song he had written me, and me--being excited--decided I wanted the guys to hear it, too.
I went to the Franklin Plaza where Steven, Duff, Slash, Izzy and Axl were hanging out, discussing a meeting they'd had with their label.
When I told them Nikki wrote a love song about me (thinking it was his way of trying to patch up our marriage and say to the world "I love this woman") the guys had to hear it, not believing me.
The ballad started beautifully, tears coming to my eyes, but my warmed heart quickly began boiling in my chest by the time the second chorus ended.
"I don't think this is a love song." Izzy stated, while shaking his head a little.
"Yeah, uh...he's talking about killing you." Axl had told me, everyone seemed slightly disturbed.
"Your girlfriends get Sweet Child O Mine and what does the dedicated wife that has done nothing but love this sick bastard get?! A song dedicated to his deep desire to murder me!"
"Dude, hasn't he actually tried to kill you before?" Steven asked.
Which made the song even more ironic, along with the last line of the chorus, "and I loved you but you didn't love me" which in itself was slap in the fucking face.
I didn't hear the full song at that time because Duff had took it out of the player and stomped it under his cowboy boot.
That pretty much set the tone for the months to come.
"You're also incredibly biased." He replies in the same tone and I nudge him with my elbow.
"You don't know how many songs I have actually had to tear out of Nikki's hand and hide them from him because they were so bad I just could not allow them to be recorded." I tell him.
"Oh, please." He brushes me off.
"Have you heard 'Theater of Pain'?" I ask him with raised brows.
"Yeah."
"Home Sweet Home and Smokin' in the Boy's Room were the only really good ones. And Smokin' in the Boy's Room was a cover. The other songs were songs I didn't know were written, or I would have hid them from him, too." I state and he tries not to laugh, but fails, making himself snort, which kickstarts my laughter. 
Once we settle down, he clears his throat, and gets a kind of serious expression on his face.
"I really wish he wasn't on that shit, Viv." He tells me and I don't even have to ask who he's talking about. "I mean, I'm not judging him or whatever because Izzy and Slash are in on that stuff, too, but...I just hate to see he's on it, because it's kinda hard to manage it once you hit a certain point, ya know?" He asks and I nod a little. "I think he's a pretty cool guy...so it sucks to see him act like that."
"It's not that bad, right now." I tell him, completely in denial. "He's still Nikki, he just does stuff he's not suppose to. That's nothing new to me."
"I'm just a little worried, is all." He admits.
"There's no need to be." I reassure him. "He's got a handle on things."
Dear God did I eat those words a week later in Dallas, Texas.
It's like watching a fucking car accident. 
Except instead of a car, it's my husband, and instead of a car accident, it's him losing his ever loving mind, crouched on the hotel room desk, as he babbles on, making absolutely no sense as he shouts at his parents who aren't even present.
I just came back from the pool, got a shower, and came in to him doing this.
"Nikki!" I try to get him out of whatever drug-induced show he's on.
"I'm not me! I'm not Nikki! I'm someone else!" He insists, hands yanking at his hair, his eyes completely taken over by an entirely different beast. 
I panic, immediately calling Fred.
"The fuck is wrong?!" He asks when I open the door, hearing Nikki's screaming and carrying on and I try to keep the absolute fear that's locking up my system from showing.
"I-I don't know. I got in from the pool and he was kinda jittery but I thought he'd done some blow, but then he started screaming when I was in the shower and now he's--"
Fred gets tired of hearing Nikki's meaningless shrieks at people who aren't in the room with us, and snatches him off the desk.
Nikki hits the floor, and a switch is flipped, sending him into strong convulsions, opting thick, white foam to pour from his mouth.
"Fuck, Sixx!" Fred lets out, turning him on his side. "Get me a roll of toilet-paper." He barks at me and I do as I'm told, saying a very colorful, silent prayer in my head. 
He tries to get Nikki to bite down on it to keep him from biting his tongue, but Nikki can't do it. screaming instead.
When I think I can't take the confused, scared, out-of-character shrill, it's like God himself knocks Nikki out, leaving Fred and I in complete silence, riddled with what just happened.
Fred checks his pulse and sighs in relief, looking at me.
"Viv, are you alright?" He asks me, taking deep breaths.
"Y-yeah." I say, nodding, even though I know it's written all over my face that I can't be further from "alright."
"Vivian--"
"I just need a second." I tell him, standing up to go to the bathroom, disguising oncoming tears in a strong, steady voice that's physically uncomfortable to push past the lump in my throat.
I lock myself inside the bathroom and turn the water back on, gripping the counter before I find myself in the floor, quiet sobs rocking through me.
I just want my Nikki back...not this tainted demon nesting himself in Nikki's skin, festering his bullshit in Nikki's mind.
By the time I'm worn down from crying, and tired from lying on the bathroom floor, I pull myself up and open the bathroom door, stepping into the room.
I guess Fred put Nikki in the bed before he left, because Nikki's still passed out, just tucked in the covers. 
I get pajamas on, scared to even touch him because I don't want him to start seizing again.
Cautiously getting closer to him, nestling my forehead against his arm, I thank God for the feeling of his pulse under my finger tips in the crook of his arm, and find myself passing out with utter exhaustion.
The next morning, Nikki's really quiet.
I'm not sure if he remembers what happened last night, but I'm not asking him. 
After finding a needle and evidence of an 8-ball of coke, he can lick my twat if he thinks I'm talking to him anytime soon. 
The video shoot for Home Sweet Home is happening today, and a limo picks Nikki and I up at the hotel, driving us to the venue, neither of us acknowledging the other. 
Once we get there, someone's dressing Nikki like a damn toddler, because he's too fucked from last night to dress himself in his done up stage costume.
Nikki was so, so, so, obviously, utterly fucked up when they filmed the music video for Home Sweet Home. 
The entire time, he was chugging Jack to try to calm himself down from a high he later described felt like, "being on acid and speed at the same time" and with the way he was acting like he couldn't see a damn thing, I believe it. 
He kept sunglasses on a majority of the time so people couldn't see how his eye were practically doing cartwheels. 
"Viv, we're about to start, where's Nikki?" His bass tech asks me and I glance around, furrowing my brows a little.
"I haven't seen in him about an hour. He went over there by the stage...at least I think he did." I tell him, stepping over to the last place I saw him. "He was here and..." I trail off, hearing Nikki having a full blown conversation, his voice coming from underneath the stage.
The two of us sit and listen for a moment, realizing Nikki's just talking, taking long pauses, then answering a question that was never asked by anybody, not even himself.
"Who is he talking to?" His tech asks me under his breath so Nikki won't hear.
I roll my jaw, getting fed up.
"Probably the fucking demon he sees and befriends every time he gets high." I state, fully believing that at this point, there is indeed a demon following him around, breathing down his neck, stripping him of his control and cheering him on with each grain of coke, bottle of Jack, cc of heroin and prescription-grade pill.
"Nikki," His tech starts. "Who're you talking to?"
"I'm talking. Leave me alone." Nikki argues.
"Nikki." I state, looking at him. 
It's the first time he's heard my voice all day.
"There's nobody there, baby. C'mon." I motion my hand for him to get out from under the stage.
"Leave me alone!" He snaps at me, nearly hissing.
"Dude, calm down, you're freaking out." His tech tells him. 
"Nikki, get your ass out from under there or so help me God, I will come in and drag you out by your dick." I promise him. 
He puffs up like a pissed off rooster and stomps out, passing by us, grumbling under his breath.
Do you wanna know what was really fucked up about that time? Vince couldn't have a beer without someone losing their mind. He was supposed to be sober. Nikki would bust Vince's balls if he even saw him looking at a bottle...but then Nikki would load anything and everything into his body, simultaneously.
Vince quickly became the odd man out, and had been ever since that night with Razzle. There was this vibe, this tension, that Vince was only kept in the band at that time, because they were getting hotter and hotter, and each member was the ticket to reach their full potential as a band. Each member was important.
Without Tommy, there was no band. Without Mick, there was no band. Without Nikki, there was no band.
And without Vince, there was no band...that was the one that really didn't sit too well with Sikki.
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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