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plutoslvr · 1 year

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Okay so in my last Kevin post, I mentioned I have analysis' on how Kevin isn't a coward and how his trauma still affects him and you guys wanted to read it so here!

Why Kevin Day Isn’t a Coward:

Essentially this comes down to 3 specific points in the fandom and even in the books since people are very adamant about the whole coward thing. The two things that people (in book and fandom-wise) use to argue that Kevin is a coward are:

Kevin is still afraid/ doesn’t stand up to Riko

That he left Jean behind in the nest.

Starting off with the first point. Kevin is still afraid and doesn’t stand up to Riko for the majority of the books. Firstly, we need to understand that Kevin has been abused from an extremely young age in the Nest and was conditioned into thinking that kind of behaviour was normal. And by that I mean specifically Riko’s abuse but before that, it was Coach Moriyama that abused both of them.

He was stuck in the Nest for over a decade where his only role was “property” the entire time. That was all he would ever be to them and additionally to that, he wasn’t even allowed to be better than Riko. His entire life from the very start has been about exy but it was only after his mothers death where it became life or death.

During tfc when Neil finds out how Kevin’s hand really broke Wymack says “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it."

He wasn’t raised to have anything else, exy is quite literally his everything, and without it, he has nothing and nobody. In this same scene, Wymack says, “Kevin doesn't talk about his time at Evermore, but I could tell it wasn't the first time Riko or Moriyama laid a hand on him. It was just the first time Kevin was smart enough to pack his bags and walk away.”

We never find out in detail what exactly happened to Kevin in the Nest but in TRK when Neil goes there we can see how deluded and obsessed Riko is with Kevin.

Neil moved up alongside him and regretted it almost immediately. Postcards of faraway cities both foreign and domestic were taped to the walls. Beneath each one were scraps of paper. Kevin's now-familiar scrawl listed dates and explanations for the travels. Most of them were games. Some indicated photo shoots and interviews. Books lined the shelves built into the headboard and Neil knew from skimming the spines they were Kevin's. Kevin was majoring in history for reasons Neil couldn't understand; these dry titles were the sorts of things he would find fascinating. It gave Neil chills to see his space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he'd transferred to another team entirely.

Riko is so sure that Kevin is going to come back to him because he’s instituted such fear into him, he doesn’t think Kevin has the strength to stand up to him. Which he does, but people don’t seem to realise you can’t undo over a decade's worth of trauma overnight.

Anyway, during Neil’s time in the Nest, he’s treated very similarly to how Kevin would be considering he was in his place but also not as harsh because they had to send Neil back to the Foxes inevitably.

"I am going to love hurting you," Riko said, "like I loved hurting Kevin."

What follows this is Riko tying Neil down and torturing him with a switchblade. By the time Neil leaves the Nest he doesn’t remember anything from the experience- he was so traumatised by it that he doesn’t remember it at all. (It also kinda sucks how Neil gets more sympathy for being in the nest for 2 weeks than Kev did for being there for over a decade.)

Putting this into perspective, Kevin went through that for so much longer and doesn’t get nearly enough of the same sympathy Neil did. Neil returned and Kevin got punched for letting him go even though he tried persuading Neil not to. Kevin has always had Neil’s best interest at heart.

Kevin shook his head and bulled on when Neil started to argue. "The master wants to salvage you. He's going to sign you to the Raven lineup in spring. So long as you keep quiet and keep your head down he won't tell the main family he's found you." "I'm not a Raven," Neil said. "I never will be." "Then run," Kevin insisted, low and frantic. "It's the only way you'll survive."

Kevin was willing to sacrifice the only chance he had to prove his autonomy to the Moriyamas if it meant Neil would be safe. Without Neil, they wouldn’t have enough players to qualify and they wouldn’t be able to play at all. (Again: “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it.")

Not to mention the whole “Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court." It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil's potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil's best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation.

And even after that, he promised to teach Neil, because at the end of the day, Neil was still Neil and he never gave up on him once.

And Neil understood that being on the run for 8 years was more preferable to the Nest.

“But all Neil had to do was look at Kevin to know he would have hated that life

too.”

Sorry I kinda went off track there anyway we can also see how much Riko’s presence still affects Kevin especially in scenes like the Kathy Ferdinand show.

“Any animosity Neil felt toward Kevin for forcing him onto this show evaporated. He couldn't be angry when Riko was here, not when Riko was to Kevin what Neil's father was to him. Petty anger had nothing on this full-fledged terror.”

Obviously, we all know what a dickhead Neil’s dad was to him so Neil comparing the fear of his father being similar to Kevin’s fear of Riko is so important because it just puts into perspective how afraid Kevin is here face-to-face with his abuser the first time since said abuser permanently disabled him.

But what I don’t think is that Kevin has been standing upto Riko since the start because right after this when they were backstage, Kevin physically stopped Riko from hurting Neil even if it meant getting hurt by Riko again.

A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat.

This scene is probably the best to describe how downright afraid Kevin is of Riko but there are others when Kevin has multiple panic attacks at just the thought of Riko or being in the same vicinity as him and rightfully so! Riko abused him, manipulated him and then took away the only thing he had. And Kevin was just forced to think this was okay.

And a lot of characters and fans see his fear as cowardice instead of a normal trauma response. This is also because Neil tends to speak out more against Riko than Kevin (You know I get it…) but unlike Neil, Kevin has had direct repercussions towards him for the “mistake” of talking back to Riko which of course makes him hesitant.

He knows the Moriyamas could drag him back at any moment and he's terrified of that happening.

Which leads to the second bit of “Kevin doesn’t stand up to Riko.” when many times, he has.

The most prominent example is in TRK, just after the foxes lost their first match to the ravens.

“You have fallen so far, Kevin. You should have stayed down and saved us the trouble of forcing you back to your knees." "I'm satisfied," Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. "Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There's more than enough here for me to work with."

Kevin chose the foxes over the ravens- over Riko. He doesn’t allow their loss to become something Riko can use against him but instead something to affirm his current standing with them. This is also the first game Andrew played without his meds meaning he’s crashed by the end of it.

Kevin distracted the Ravens from Andrew's unsteadiness by facing them.

Kevin willingly turned to talk to his ex-abuser and his team if it meant Andrew wouldn’t be under fire. Most people only see Kevin and Andrew as Andrew protecting Kevin but Kevin protected Andrew just as much.

And of course we have the whole tattoo removal and the last exy match against the foxes but I need everyone to understand that those are so so so important. Kevin spent the entire series save the last quarter of the last book viewing himself as Riko’s property. Riko refers to him as such and even without Riko near him, his control is still strong over Kevin.

So Kevin removing his tattoo and replacing it with something with a higher hierarchical structure than Riko’s status as king is so detrimental, it’s a turning point for him because he’s viewing himself as his own person now. And Kevin scoring the winning goal brings us full circle because the last time he did that with Riko, he ended up disabled and shunned.

This brings me to my second point about Kevin running away from the nest. Alot of people see Kevin escpaing from the nest and leaving behind Jean as an act of cowardice. This bit gets a bit complicated because in no way shape or form am I trying to compare trauma’s or anything like that.

But to continue on. The ravens had a very strict policy that we got to see during Neil's experience one of which being that no matter how injured they were, they were still expected to show up to practice. The more mistakes they made the more punishment they'd find themselves in. Not showing was practically a death wish.

Now Kevin having his hand fucking broken would mean thay either he doesn't practise and get punished or practise with his fucked up hand and further damage it. If he stayed I wholeheartedly believe he would've died.

He ran away to save his life and that will never be cowardice not once. He didn't go to Wymack immediately when he found out because he knew what kind of target he'd paint on Wymacks back.

"He was trying to protect him," Neil said. "If Coach knew Kevin was his son, he'd have tried to take him from Edgar Allan." Nicky grimaced. "They'd have never let Kevin go."

He only left when he had no other option. He had nothing left, the one thing he did have was taken away from him, he had no purpose and for once Riko didn't care enough about him to pay attention. And he used that to run.

Leaving Jean behind was something he always regretted, but it was a game of survival. Jean was a gift to the Moriyamas, he was also property to them and couldn't leave. And if the roles were reversed I strongly believe Jean would've done the same thing.

Also Kevin finds a place for him layer with the trojans because he knew that being a fox wouldn't be good for him.

"He isn't safe with us," Kevin said. "I won't give him false hope."

Staying in the nest would've been suicide for Kevin. He's one of the biggest victims in the series but nobody talks about it enough I fear and there's so much to learn about him via context clues etc.

And the saddest thing in my opinion is that Kevin knew was it was like to be loved, he was raised by his mother for a few years before going to the Moriyamas.

ANYWAY to conclude, I suck at essays and I hope I've worded everything well and what I'm trying to say gets across. Kevin is not a coward, never has been a coward and never will be. He's survived through such a damaging and abusive environment only to get moved to a separate environment where everyone just ridicules his defense tactics and he has no real sense of support.

His reasons for what he does always stems from the fact the he doesn't want to go back to being under Riko and Coach Moriyamas "care" and that he's afraid. And most of the time it's things he can't shake from the nest.

Like when he pushes the foxes its so they're always at their best and so none of them get hurt or punished for mistakes. He pushed himself the hardest because he doesn't want to directly affect his teammates.

Or the celebrity persona he was forced to develop.

Or how he makes sure everyone is staying healthy and that they don't force themselves to play when sick or injured because he knows what it's like to be forced to play like that day after day.

AND IVE GONE OFF COURSE AGAIN yeah I kinda mashed together both analysis' of how Kevin's trauma from the nest affects him and how he's not a coward into one thing AND THIS IS SUPER LONG so if ur still here thank you very much for reading I really hope this makes sense

#kevin days defense lawyer right here #this is the longest thing ive ever posted on tumblr #aftg #kevin day #aftg kevin #neil josten #aftg neil #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aftg series #aftg andrew #andriel #kandreil #kevneil #kandrew #david wymack #riko moriyama #FUCK HIM #jean moreau

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spacexseven · 1 year

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sorry for the late reply! And to answer some of your questions in the tags, it’s actually all three. A “final girl” is a basically a trope that means a character (usually protagonist) that is “pure, feminine, and the victim” during a horror film. They’re usually a victim of chance or have a distant past connection to the killer. Be it their intelligence, connection, or simply pure luck, the final girl is able to avoid death until the end where: 1) they survive to the end and defeat their killer 2) they escape or 3) they die regardless. I was thinking of killer! yan bsd, but I was also intrigued with a victim/final girl! bsd. An example of an idea that’s currently plaguing my mind is Final Girl! Nikolai. I liked the idea of a serial killer targeting magician/or whimsical (maybe ability users) people and choosing nikolai as target. cat and mouse chase, and they end getting the drop on him (how? idk). Its kinda a slow burn horror, but regardless nikolai fights back. this is a gist and example. Tuna, i’m so sorry about throwing this ramble dump at you. 🙈 this is just an idea, nothing you actually have to do. im just happy sharing this with you - 🦄

ahahahaha....there was a lot i had to say about this, but i kept it as brief as i could because i Might...might do a series/oneshot w this au. Maybe </3 thank you for sharing this gem of an idea i am very excited to dig in nomnomnom. tagged under 'sk reader au 🐟'

gn! reader, is a serial killer & implied to have an ability that can 'collect' other abilities. can be read as a yandere reader.

cw: stalking, murder, violence

ability users are fascinating little things.

especially when they try everything in their power to stay alive. it's a wonderful sight, to see those that always stood above regular people, to see those regarded as gifted, desperately attempt to survive. there was something intoxicating about holding power above the same ability users that were feared by all.

but your interest was less in the users and more in the ability itself.

there was a lot you hoped to learn about abilities, regardless of the type. there must be a reason as to why some were sentient, why some were so much more powerful than others, why some were uncontrollable, and the best way to learn, was of course, through the ability itself. you were willing to do anything to satisfy your curiousity, even if it meant the user had to die for their abilities to join your collection.

you had fond memories with all of them; flawless made for an exhilarating fight, always a step ahead until you sunk your claws into the frightened figure of a dark-eyed ability user, rashōmon was unique, the dark mass almost besting you, but, in the end, you stood victorious over a sickly body—even if you hadn't gone after it, this was an ability that wasn't meant to survive for long, and you liked to think that it was for the best that it joined you instead of disappearing with its user. and of course, discourse on decadence was unforgettable. you remembered it belonged to some goverment agent who was hot on your trail—it was the closest anyone came to stopping you—and your most recent kill.

usually, you didn't like picking favorites. each ability was fascinating and unique in its own way, but it was undeniable that one in particular stood out to you.

the overcoat was an interesting ability. at first sight, it appeared quite simple, but you had viewed it in action too many times to know just how frightening it was. how easy it was to turn it into a lethal weapon—to reach in and twist out a limb or to drain out the blood from a vein. the seemingly unlimited potential of the ability, however, was only one of the aspects that intrigued you.

generally, you've never cared for the users as much as you did their abilities. while you enjoyed the brutal torture you made them suffer, and you liked hunting them down, they always came secondary to their abilities. you didn't care to know their names or their personal stories. despite all that, a name—nikolai gogol—had made his way on your list of targets, scrawled next to his ability.

it'd only take you a minute to identify nikolai in a sea of people.

whether he had the scar over his eye showing or hidden, whether he was wearing glasses or colored contacts, no matter what wig he wore or how ordinary he tried to look, you would immediately be able to point him out. no disguise, no false identity could hide him from you—you know this because he's tried, many times now, to fool you. but you've always known it was him, from the slightest strain of his voice when disguised, the unsettling blankness in his gaze when he looked at you, the subtle upturn of his lips when he approached you. you knew it was him from the way he titled his head when asking you a question, the way he said your name, and even the syllables he stressed when he spoke.

he approached you first as a police officer, then as a detective, a local politician, and even an assassin. You had already noted down each encounter you had with him, the details of each false identity, and what you had learned from it. it was a feat in itself that nikolai had survived so many encounters with you. perhaps it was because of your growing obsession with him,

(somehow, you always knew that your last victim would be nikolai. he'd be a fitting end for your legacy, as the ability user who had been watching you from the very start. the only ability user you could see as more than a shell for his powers. the only one who escaped you once.)

initially, you believed that nikolai followed you around for self-driven justice, to punish you for your crimes. (the policeman getup convinced you of that much), but instead of lunging at you, he watched, enraptured, as you stole the perfect crime, and he followed you closely as you stalked the user of falling camellia, doing nothing to stop you either time. and every time after that, be it walking past him in the busy streets of yokohama or meeting him as your taxi driver, nikolai had yet to try and expose your crimes and exact revenge. he never held a blade up to your throat, never used the very frightening ability of his on you.

his passivity, however, did nothing to quench your bloodthirst.

it was you who attacked him first.

you're no stranger to hunting down your prey. it was something you anticipated now, the sound of footsteps making their way around corners, the sight of shaking shoulders and trembling hands as they hid behind walls, the way fear consumed them when you finally cornered them; you relished in the hunt as much as you did the result.

nikolai doesn't make it much of a hunt. he's quick, with his coat fluttering around him. his footsteps, you remember, are light and quick, his breathing staggered as he laughed wildly. he snatches up your gun with a hand through his coat, and shoots blindly. there is despair consuming his mind, no panic climbing up his spine. his heart rate accelerates not out of fear, but out of thrill, and he looks at you with unrestrained elation. this was no hunt, nikolai wasn't hiding from you—this was a chase. just as you approached a dead end, and you think you can finally, finally, shove him into a corner, nikolai turns to smile at you one last time, before disappearing into a flurry of his coat. as you stand alone, a dark glove laid on the floor ahead of you catches your attention; his glove might have caught on a jagged end and fallen, you think. after cleaning up his mess, you silently pocket it, still haunted by that uninhibited look and that devilish grin.

nikolai is everywhere after that, taunting you.

he sits across you from the train, he takes your order in a restaurant, he applauds you from a distance, after watching you drag away yet another body, congratulating you on another successful kill.

"next time," he smiles at you, all coy and enticing, "i hope it's me."

you hope so too, but you don't let him have the pleasure of knowing that. the scowl on your blood-streaked face sends him spinning away in giggles.

it wasn't the next time, but after a few more dead bodies and many more warnings about your work are played on the news, you meet nikolai again. nikolai gogol is no easy prey, but you're not one to be bested twice. this time, you don't let him run. you're finally on top of him, blood pooling out of where your knife was stuck in his thigh, his coat ripped off him and abandoned somewhere else. it would be so easy to kill him now, so easy to watch him bleed out and claim his ability as yours, but for the first time, you hesitated on delivering the killing blow.

this time, it's not the ability you're after, is it?

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banamine-bananime · 4 months

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one thing that always perplexes me is how often i see takes on tucker where the work positions him as a great dad*, fluent in sangheili language and culture, and most of all, a great diplomat.

i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum and i, too, am absolutely transfixed and enraptured by this man's oscillation between "my one purpose in life is to constantly test the human limits of Annoyingness" and "sudden, shocking extreme competence with no warning" like a little Newton's cradle. like, i just spent 7000 words indulging myself in thinking about a version of tucker that listens a lot more to the "do whatever you gotta to protect the people you love and do what you think is right regardless of what people think" cartoon angel on his shoulder and less to the "that sounds hard i just wanna mouth off, jerk off, fuck off, and negg church" devil. i cannot throw stones and clearly i think that's a fun and valid interpretation of how his character could evolve. but evolve is the keyword there and it baffles me when this gets treated as the fact of how he immediately snapped into being as soon as he had junior, you know?

like. obviously tucker ended up doing some massively impressive shit as an ambassador in sandtrap. but that's because he wasn't being an ambassador, he was being The Final Girl in il/ct's slasher flick. getting trapped in a beseiged temple is, traghilariously, the best thing that could have happened for him in terms of being good at that job. if tucker were a pathfinder character he would have 18s in "dealing with your life suddenly being taken over by ancient alien religion bullshit", "surviving crazy shit through sheer spite and the adrenaline rush of pissing off whatever asshole has made it their life's mission to kill you this time", and "being the only person who knows what fucked up shit is going on while the rest of the bgc ignore you". he would have a 2 in "saying things that make people want to kill you LESS". de-escalation is not in this man's skillset. he cannot even handle being normal about human women. appreciating the intricacies of sangheili culture and politics, human culture and politics, and sangheili-human relations?

Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.

Church: Maybe you should try learning his language.

Tucker: Fuck that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language.

Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.

Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.

i know this is pre-junior and doubtlessly, he is more interested in this stuff after junior (because junior's life does depend on sangheili politics and human-alien relations) and MUST be less dense about it after HAVING to do it as a job. like by osmosis at the very least something must have permeated his brain. but the gap between this^ and "knowledgeable enough to be an asset in this career, one people need at least one relevant degree for" is, uh, bigger than a few months between leaving blood gulch and being sent out to the field

sometimes i think about what a fucking trip it would be to be on the UNSC diplomatic team with tucker LMAO can you imagine how unpopular he must have been. a bunch of polisci and IR nerds like fists clenched shaking like leaves trying to restrain the urge to give this guy a swirlie because he cannot stop sounding like a fucking family guy episode while you're trying to, like, convince the warrior queen of some isolated Sangheili heretical sect to ally with the Swords of Sangheilios and the species they've been dead set on annihlating for decades. and also you know he's only an ambassador as like the weirdest most fucked up variation of a nepo baby. nepo forced interspecies religious incubator. the token chestburster virgin mary hire. the simultaneous Hatred for this guy making your job hell, the impotent rage of knowing that it is, actually, important that he be there for Symbolic reasons, and feeling sympathetic to him. you know part of why he's Like This is literally just because he's 20 and should be at the club but has had the year from hell and didn't ask for this. it's easy to forget that because he doesn't complain about any of the actually bad things that happened and just rolls with whatever crazy shit comes his way. complaining is reserved for being an annoying little bitch about petty shit.

ANYWAYS i'm not saying stop having fun with very competent versions of tucker. we're all just here to have fun. i just like what a weird combo of competent and disaster he is, as i interpret him, and i, personally, am incapable of interpreting him as being actually very good at his job as ambassador

*the only two options are not "bad dad" and "great dad". having an alien parasite non-consensually implanted in you by a manipulative fraudster to force his own involvement in a prophecy - oh and also their species is trying to exterminate yours - and going, "well, this baby didn't choose this, they're just a baby, and you know what? my baby. i love this baby unreservedly and unconditionally, fuck you." shows a capacity for love and forgiveness that's frankly fucking insane, both in the good-impressive way and the what-is-going-on-in-your-brain-and-how-did-this-kind-of-decision-making-not-get-you-killed-yet way. and tucker very clearly loves junior a lot and does his best - which, i want to reiterate, is absolutely wild considering the circumstances - but he wasn't ready for a kid, is bad at accepting responsibility especially for others, and the way that Things Never Stop Happening in his life mean he is really not very present. and it's not JUST because of things happening outside of his control - there were periods after season 8 and after season 13 he probably could have permanently reunited with junior and didn't.

#rvb #rvb tucker #lavernius tucker #fuck it we tagging this. look at my post boy.#tucker #alexa send post

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strqyr · 1 year

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(1/2) so i've been thinking about how all of raven's constant aggressive self-justification (see: literally every other scene she's been in) is completely absent in this scene. it feels to me like that means her "All Of My Decisions Were Very Smart And I Have Nothing To Regret" mindset is a direct result of trying to absolve herself of her part in summer's fate. all her "the strong survive", "one save" etc rhetoric might all flow down from answering the question "how could i let this happen?"

(2/2) suddenly it occurred to me: i'm pretty sure we have 0 evidence raven returned to the tribe immediately after leaving. she might have spent years just being an independent huntress. to me, her attachment to the tribe has always seemed rooted in her need to justify herself - they give a convenient excuse for her (fake) motivations wrapped up in convenient evidence for her claims about strength. so if this mindset only came later, maybe she didn't even go to them until after summer's mission.

i don't think it's completely absent—the telltale signs of it are present in her "you're better at that life. better than i was.", the way she doesn't even look at summer at that point, trying to convince herself she made the right choice and that she doesn't regret it—but it's definitely more muted.

it's the difference between 'little hope' and 'no hope', y'know?

whatever happened on that mission definitely played a part, tho, but exactly how much depends on couple things: 1. did raven witness what happened to summer or had she already bailed? and 2. if summer is still alive and working for salem, does raven know or does she believe summer is dead?

actually, kinda third one, but "you sound just like your mother" after ruby makes a speech about working together and "we had each other" -> summer says "if i do this right", there's no 'we', by all means if it all depended on summer there was no need to work together, she also wasn't taking any of raven's bs, so when exactly would she have made the same kind of, such a heartfelt speech?

i have so many questions and no answers—i mean, i could answer them but there are so many possibilities that i need to stew on it a bit more.

it's true we have zero evidence on raven returning to the tribe immediately after leaving—our only timeline is the spring maiden, and that's if we assume raven is absolutely telling the truth; spring ran way over a decade ago, and the tribe picked her up sometime after. 'over a decade' is obviously playing it very loose, but if summer's disappearance happened around 15 years ago (considering ruby's age), then it would match that raven actually returned to the tribe after this mission when all hope was lost rather than before.

it would of course raise a question what raven was up to before that for those few years (and that alone gets my brainworms moving again re: who's idea this mission was and re: has raven already met salem before this, because the answers to those two questions could have some serious implications) between her departure and summer's mission.

raven also doesn't have her mask yet, tho that could be just her not carrying it around all the time. but if it's actually the former, then that's another mystery and a "when did this happen" to the list.

there's definitely something raven is trying to justify to herself (and perhaps to others as well—"i've stared death in the face over and over again, and every time i've spat in that face and survived, because i'm strong enough to do what others won't!" comes to mind) and it most likely has something to do with this mission but what exactly and is there like, actual fault in play or perceived fault, is the question.

it's like summer said: it's mystery after mystery.

#rwby #rwby9 #rwby spoilers #anon #ask.strqyr

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navarresimp · 2 months

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ALL NUMBERS FOR GASTON

You do not know what you have brought upon this cursed website

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Genuinely always enjoyed extremely over the top dramatic flamboyant arrogant bastards who get redeemed as a character. I also love that never in the game he is an actual antagonist, he just makes himself very hard to get along with in the first half of the game and makes every fight as a partner extremely frustrating just because you killed a snake before he could once. 10/10 petty behaviour. You actually feel for him when he no longer is crusader captain because you know he's a sucker for attention and cares a lot about how others perceive him. Also spears are genuinely underrated weapons to give to a character. He's the definition of Christian boy guilt. 5 stars most arrogant man in Mikado (alive) would buy again

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Him canonically striking a pose when winning against Merkabah is by far the funniest fucking thing. He would absolutely do that again. I like to think he does that after every battle. He probably does it in front of a mirror sometimes.

Also him being a picky eater evident by his hunter association dialogue. Yes autistic king I get it.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Ik it's not really canon(thank god) as it is like a hallucination by nanashi but like the downright pedo dialogue at the start of the Beach DLC (Ew Ew Ew banana peel banana peel tomato tomato crucify the french boy)

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Faith the unholy Trilogy: make this man experience the religious horrors and see how long he'd survive

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Titanic by Falco (it's about fully giving into decadence and being brave enough to take the fall)

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Massive ego and flamboyancy

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The insanely scrumptious fanart that people post every now and them. Also everyone unanimously agreeing that he is the worst battle partner and is only good when auto grinding.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

The fandom consists of like 3 people and a bunch of dead shitpost accounts brother there is nothing to criticise when there is nothing to begin with

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

No, I genuinely think he would get very pissed by the way I organise and sometimes forget to pay rent (judging how decked out his family is he would probably be a landlord sympathiser).

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

We are already besties

11. Would you date this character?

HELL NAH

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Most homosexual homo to have ever sexualed but is extremely repressed. Has memorized most of the bible and will drop psalms occasionally (even after killing God it's just that ingrained) Autistic, his first special interest was the bible, but autism wasn't yet invented in 1432 Mikado so everyone thought he was a child blessed by God. Knows how to ride horses, was taught by his father and knows how to cook, taught by his grandmother. After the peace route he discovered a cooking show DVD and rewatches it constantly. Is iron deficient, passed out often during puberty. Has NPD. If he lived in the real world he would be very rude to customer service staff but leave a 100€ tip.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

Fork emoji

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

Light academia: white and brown hell yeah

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Literally any ship that ships him with an under age character or him and his brother (I can't believe I have to say this)

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Forget the insanity of angels and the weird time bending shit that went on in Mikado for a minute and Gaston x Jonathan would actually become an interesting narrative of two gay guys who had their gayness repressed by a super religious kingdom and the inherently classist feudal system whose heteronormative structure demands heterosexuality to uphold the godchosen oppressor class and the tragedy of one becoming the very essence of the force that oppresses(angel) and the other bing forced to kill his lover to achieve freedom. Doomed yaoi if you will

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

If the writers knew how to cook they would've utilized the clear parallels they established between Toki and Gaston. Their friendship could've genuinely went hard. It does go hard but only in my head unfortunately.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Bestie behaviour

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

His extravagant speech, that is on the other hand very weird to Google how do you write the past tense of dilly dally

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

There are like 2 fics I love them all

23. Favorite picture of this character?

These two I made I can't decide

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Apollo Justice Lawyersona Shin Megamitourney Acesei

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Genuinely don't remember anything that happened between 2013 and 2018 including my first play through. All I know now is that he is literally me.

#smt iv #smt iv apocalypse #gaston smt #smt gaston #you dont know how happy this makes me

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thatgirlonstage · 6 months

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One of the craziest things about EoA backstory is they needed to abide by the previously established StF lore that Aunt Tilly had the amulet before Sofia. But even so.. the Dark Times still didn't have be 41 years long? Tilly is at *most* in her early 40s and the earliest she likely got the amulet was age 7-8. They could've gotten away with like 15-25 years of Shuriki and still would've made sense. But no, must extend Elena and Esteban's respective traumas as long as possible. smh.

I haven't watched any of Sofia unless you count the Elena backdoor pilot so I wasn't aware that was where they got the 41 number from. I don't object to it as premise — I mean, fuck, I'm writing a fuck-off massive fic about it because I'm obsessed with it — but I do just find it funny that the show... clearly thinks about and uses it sometimes (eg: Elena's friend, I forget her name but the one who liked dancing, who's now a middle-aged woman) but then sometimes just. Forgets. Or seriously doesn't think about the ramifications of what that number means. My two examples off the top of my head being 1) Antonia's entire backstory, because the only way the math works there is if her dad worked for Shuriki, which makes the whole aspiration-to-be-a-royal-guard extremely awkward lmao, and 2) anytime they talk about holiday traditions, like in the Navidad episode they talk about all these big public parties they always have and I'm just sitting there. No you didn't. Shuriki banned parties and signing. You haven't done this in decades literally what are you talking about XD

It's fascinating to me partially because like. That's a whole lifespan. It's a short lifespan, that's young for a human to die (even in Ye Olden Days, lifespan averages that land in the 30s are generally failing to exclude infant & child mortality, humans hundreds of years ago did regularly survive into their 50s or 60s or older if they made it to adulthood), but you could grow up and get married and have a child that you raise to adulthood in that span of years. It's a really long time. But it's also not the stock fantasy, "the evil ruler has been here for 500 years." It's not an "it's always been this way" kind of thing but it is something that whole generations have grown up under, not just a "this was a few horrible years but everyone except toddlers still remembers when things were better" length of time. Forty-one is such a real number, and that's what can make it realistically horrifying.

Of course, that kind of goes over kids' heads, because when you're eight years old there isn't a ton of functional difference between forty-one years and four hundred, they're both just way, way longer than you've been alive. And I think the writers know that, which is part of why they skate over it a lot. But it's so fun to play with in fanfic land and this is what sends my brain spiraling about Esteban, just the, okay. You had a whole life for forty-one years that included all of the mundane things that you can't exclude from that kind of length of time. You had head colds and discovered a new food you like and did boring mundane paperwork and got used to it, because that was just your life for a really long fucking time. So what the fuck was it like surviving all that time?

#answers #elena of avalor #sorry for the delayed response i'm having. several Months TM

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changingplumbob · 3 months

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Not Sims - Just Reign

So I binge watched the final 5 episodes today and... I am emotionally compromised. See below for my ramblings and how I attempted to make album art a decade ago.

If you clicked keep reading I'm going to assume you don't mind reading my rambles so I'm just going to indulge myself here. I need to process and getting it out helps me process.

I first saw Reign during my final year of High School and fell completely in love. Quite aside from English History being a special interest for me at the time, Adelaide Kane and Toby Regbo were so gorgeous. Honestly the signs that I'm bisexual were right there but it just did not click.

If you're my moot you will know by now I am a massive romantic. So of course I would get invested in the Mary Francis love story. Thanks past me for routing for Francis from the start, smart choice.

The outfits took my breath away, as did the wonderful landscapes. I fell in love with everything Mary wore and tried to find a graduation dress that was as close to something like that as possible.

The music! I loved every track they put with the episodes. Shout out to that one youtube channel that was posting full versions of the songs. I have a playlist with the music from the first two seasons and have listened to it on loop so often. There was a website that would post screenshots of the episodes and I would copy paste and make my own album art. Not to do anything with, they were solely for me to see when the songs came up on my iPod.

BUT I only watched the first two seasons before I took a break. History wise I knew Francis would die before they had a child, but the end of season 2 seemed to announce his death was approaching and my romantic self could not handle it. So over the next few years I rewatched the first two seasons plenty, and continued to listen to the music. I tried to watch season 3 in my first year at university, I really did. But things were different back then and I could only find low quality episodes because legitimate streaming services were in their infancy, if they even existed.

During my post grad diploma I would take a train part of the way to my placements. It was on the train that I happened to catch someone watching Reign on their phone. Not just any part of Reign either, the recap that shows Francis dying and Mary saying goodbye to the coffin. You bet any progress I had made towards being able to watch it was reset.

Following the worst of my depression, last year I began to feel a proper interest in things I love again and I wanted to see Reign to its conclusion. So I got myself the DVDs for season 3 (I don't have netflix, plus I like having physical copies of things) and worked my way through. Since I hate spoilers I didn't want to read the blurbs included in the cover so I never knew which episode Francis would die in, I was happy he was in it for so long. The whole plot with Francis having made Mary a sword for taking back Scotland made me love them all the more.

I gifted myself season 4, the final season, for Christmas. I've been watching it in bits and pieces. I have this thing where if something is ending I try to hold off the ending for as long as possible. But today I was so under the weather that I did watch the last disc all in one go.

Side note, Rizzio. I can't believe that actually happened! But wikipedia says it did. It really sounds like something a drama show would make up.

I've always known Queen Mary was executed for supposedly trying to kill Queen Elizabeth. I wasn't sure how Reign would tackle that. I figured they would do a flash forward or do that text over screen thing. I love neat endings but my heart could survive not seeing the end of Mary. I begun the final episode, saw Toby Regbo's name in the starting line up and immediately teared up. If he was in the episode then they were certainly going to show her death. Those end scenes, they made me happy and sad all at once. I loved that Francis was there for her, and I loved the flashbacks through their life together. Damn did it make me cry though.

The main characters have had a place in my heart for a decade. So heck yeah I'm grieving the loss. I know I'll watch it again, so it's not a permanent goodbye, but it's tough to see the end of anyway.

#spoilers under the cut #I love reign so much #ramble ramble ramble #I wrote a whole damn ted talk length thing to process #Don't like reign then don't read

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faytelumos · 11 months

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Found this from @lexiklecksi and decided I wanted to do it.

Then I waited for forever to fill it out and forgot what the little title for this game was, haha!

---

1) What motivates you to write?

For one thing, I feel like it's my best skill. Back when I got started, well over a decade ago, it was experiencing all of these stories I loved that inspired the desire to become a part of the magic.

Deep down, I have stories to share. It's always nice when a lot of people see my stories and like them, but my biggest goal is to get those stories to the people who need them. It feels deep-seeded, and I know if everything stopped tomorrow, one of my biggest regrets would be that I wasn't able to get my Story out to people it might have helped.

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud of; if not, share a line of someone else's work that you love (just be sure to credit).

It's been a month and I cannot for the life of me think of a story line I'm especially happy with, so have my favorite ever poem, which is by Robert Frost, recited from memory:

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,

But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep,

And miles to go before I sleep.

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Maybe Ræs. He's a mess of a person, honestly, but in a realistic way. He doesn't really have tact when it comes to sensitive matters, he comes off as abrasive, he's angry, he doesn't really know what he's doing, and he's got some ingrained biases he doesn't want to face. But he's trying his hardest, and I think, despite all of the rough starts and choppy interactions, he comes to realize that the people he meets in this story really truly care about him in a way he hasn't seen since he was a little kid.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The feverish inspiration of a new character or plot development. I love it to death when I can't stop thinking about something, when I'm fifteen chapters away from this scene but I've written it in my head ten times already, when every song I hear is about them or this. It's fleeting, and even if it weren't, I couldn't survive an extended period of this, but it's the chemical I crave when making my way through a project.

5) What part of writing do you think you're best at? (Stroke your own ego, it's okay.)

Internal monologues. I'm really good at thought processes and being in a character's head. Moving from thought to thought, reaching conclusions and using them to fuel the next process, I feel like I really have that idea down.

6) What is something in the writeblr community that is most enjoyable?

The comradery. We're all a bunch of writers and we love reading. Since a lot of my work is currently in the hero/villain community, there's a lot of passing around of the same tropes we all love, and I definitely enjoy that, too.

7) A writing tool/device that help you with writing (i.e. text to speech, a program, etc.).

I don't use much except a word processor. I use one on my phone and a different one on my computer, but both of them have the ability to make folders and reorganize documents, which I use liberally.

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story (it could be the magic system, a particular place, a law, etc.).

In my first book, there is a sense of that same-old fantasy setting, where everyone's wearing frocks and going to the river to do laundry. But then, here and there, I'm able to sneak in hints of technology. There are steam engine trains. There are chemical heaters so people can have hot baths indoors. There are disinfectants and surgery procedures. There are certain things that remain in the past as we see it (no printing presses, no personal transportation), but the world is different enough to be somewhat unique.

9) What piece of advice would you give to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Write for yourself. If you're feeling burnt out, stop the projects that are draining you and just write for only yourself. Write some really self-indulgent fanfic or poetry that you know will never see the light of day. Write an unhinged essay on why A and B would never do that (or why, no matter what, they always would have) and tuck it straight into your pocket. Remeber why you started writing, or if you're new, really truly be kind to yourself and realize that you are learning a new skill and it can be bumpy.

Writing is such a personal and intimate expression, and if you're having trouble baring yourself to even a hypothetical world, then curl up and let your heart bleed in private for awhile.

10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters.

@the-modern-typewriter is actually a big part of the reason I even started a writeblr. Other folks I love to see are @surplus-of-sarcasm, @those-damn-snippets, @the-phasea-kalogria, @thepenultimateword, @sternenmeerkind, and @unorganisedalienrubbish, @robin-parravel, @bryansartbooth, @thelazywitchphotographer, @why-am-i-on-this-website-anyway, @pebbles-pile, @severalonions, @thepromiscuousfinger, @alltimelowing, @canonicallyshort, and @perfecthologrambluebird.

(Obviously these tags are no pressure because some of them don't follow me and several of them don't post writing.)

#tag game #writeblr #oc: Raes #this took me forever to fill out #sorry for the shotgun of random tags but I love you all <3

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carriagelamp · 5 months

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My internet died for about half a week this month, so I had a really peaceful few days where I had an enforced excuse to do nothing but relax and read when I got home from work. It was incredibly zen and I really sank into my books that week.

The Call of the Wild

A classic novel that I’ve always meant to read. I was sick and headachy this month and decided that this was the perfect sort of relaxing, narratively rich book to listen to. I really enjoyed it, would recommend. It follows a dog named Buck who’s snatched from his home in southern California and is shipped off to work as a sled dog in the Yukon, where a need for strong dogs to help transport goods over the snow and ice makes them very valuable. Buck has to learn how to survive in this harsh environment as everything from the weather, his fellows dogs, and his human masters seem to fight against him.

A Complicated Love Story Set In Space // How To Bite Your Neighbour and Win A Wager

Putting these two together because my experience with them was pretty similar. For both I was intrigued by the title, got them from the library on a whim, and didn’t really mesh with either. I didn’t really get far enough in either to give much of a review, they just didn’t vibe. A Complicated Love Story Set In Space set up a scenario that didn’t really interest me — not surprising, I’m picky about my scifi — and How To Bite Your Neighbour and Win A Wager just had an… odd writing style to it. It very much feels like it’s main goal is to be a kinda horny about vampires which, if that’s what you want, all the power to you, but it’s wasn't doing it for me. I had to suspend way too much disbelief for the scenario to function.

Indiana Jones and the Cup of the Vampire // Indiana Jones and the Curse of Horror Island

A pair of choose your own adventure books I found at a used book sale. I picked them up out of sheer amusement, and they were basically what I expected and paid for: cheesy 1980s adventure stories with Indiana Jones as a nominal protagonist. They were both varying degrees of improbable, ridiculous, and racist so YMMV but they were fun to play with while I was down and out on the internet front.

The Kootenay Kidnapper

Eric Wilson is a classic Canadian author who writes children’s mystery/thriller novels. I’ve never read him before and decided to remedy that. At this point I choose to withhold judgement until I read another… I’m not sure how I felt about The Kootenay Kidnapper. It had some nice descriptive language, successfully raised the tension from time to time and made me really try to piece together who the villain was, but then also had some strange dead zones as well. The whole thing read a bit like a 1990s stranger danger PSA which was also… weirdly nostalgic? But also just weird. Would try another.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation comic v3

I continue to be a MDZS simp, this is not news.

The Radium Girls

I don’t read much nonfiction, but this book was so narrative in its writing that I seriously couldn’t put it down. Kate Moore took a historical event (the girls that were paid to paint watch dials with radium paint in the early 1900s) that had been written about in scientific and legal styles, and instead retells it with a primary focus on the girls themselves. You follow a variety of real life women over the decades and learn about the all the machinations that went into them being horrifically poisoned by radium, and how that changed the very foundation of American workplace safety. Super engaging, unspeakably appalling.

Scott Pilgrim v1/2

My brother and I started watching Scott Pilgrim Takes Off on Netflix and… wow, it is not what either of us was expecting but we are loving it. We’ve both been big Scott Pilgrim fans since the naughts. Since I haven’t reread the series in years I decided I should pick it up to help notice the differences between the original series and this new show — I have the big, coloured omnibus version, so I reread the first collection of stories which amounts to volume 1 and 2 of the original.

Scott Pilgrim is one of those comics that if you’ve somehow never read then you really need to, it’s one of my all-time favourites. It’s a story about Scott Pilgrim, a young adult who’s awkwardly trying to figure himself out, combining a coming-of-age slice-of-life with magical realism. The mysterious girl he meets, Ramona Flowers, can travel a subspace highway through Scott’s dreams — of course, don’t they teach Canadians how to do that? Huh, maybe it’s an American thing. Scott is known to be the best fighter in the province and when he defeats an enemy they explode into a pile of coins. One of the Evil Exes has Vegan Powers, and another can summon demonic back up dancers. This story just does whatever the fuck it likes and I adore it for that.

Heaven Official's Blessing v3/4

I continue to be TGCF simp, this is not— seriously, the series continues to be excellent and I only get more and more invested in not just Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, but also in the side characters that are introduced. I was thrilled to have Shi Qingxuan become a bigger player in book 4, and really liked the whole plot with the Venerable of Empty Words and Black Water. Please, someone, help this guy…

The Wind in the Willows

Another classic I had never read that I decided to pick up. It was excellent, I can see why it’s stayed so beloved over the years. Though I love a good cute-animals-in-lil-clothes-living-cute-lil-lives story, so I was an easy sell. It was much more tame than the likes of Redwall, but had a bit more going on than the likes of Brambly Hedge — it keeps you very engaged, but never raises the stakes so high that it stops feeling light and comforting. It is essentially a collection of stories that follow Mole and Rat, a pair of friends that live together on the river, through the seasons and the various misadventures they and their friends go on.

The Woman They Could Not Silence

Since I liked The Radium Girls I decided to pick up another one of Kate Moore’s books. This one follows a woman who was intentionally committed to an insane asylum by her husband, purely because she was intelligent and outspoken, refusing to be cowed to his opinions or beliefs. This story details her time in the insane asylum, the abuses that the patients suffered, and how she came to fight the laws that allowed for such abuses to be perpetuated in the first place. A fascinating read about a historical figure I had never heard about before.

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msbarrows · 5 months

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Well, flubbed doing my thing of the day posts for, oh, almost the entire month of November. And there I'd been thinking I might actually make it a full year successfully (well, successful enough, there were a few times I missed it for several days and then had to catch up).

I missed it. Not so much doing of it, but being able to check back on things like when I last cooked particular meals for supper, or just how many days (or how few) the latest loaf of bread managed to survive, or when I'd last did different non-daily chores.

So, yeah, first day of December, first day of resuming my Thing of the Day posts. I'll also need to restart my count for managing to keep it up for at least a year straight.

December 1 - Picked up some ebooks on sale, including both of Robert Silverberg's Majipoor trilogies, which have been on my wishlist for years but were waaaay more expensive per volume than I wanted to spend on just replacing books I already own in dead tree form. But with four of the six dropped to the ~$2 range? You damn betcha I got the full set of both. I've mentally tagged that for a re-read some time later this month - it's been over a decade.

Ran about half of my monthly backups today, still need to dig out the drives from my emergency go bag to update them as well.

Also, finally dusted off LotRO and tried out the new Mariner class, in addition to popping for the new River Hobbit race, because they can be mariners and I didn't feel like rolling another man, high elf, or stout-axe dwarf when there was a shiny new racial option (well, new as of August just past).

She turned out very pretty. Named her Windolen (after the usual dozen or so attempts to find a name that wasn't already in use by someone else):

The new hobbits have a ton of facial adjustment sliders that prior races didn't have, plus a lot of new hair styles, including a whole pile of braided/cornrow/wavy ones, which is always nice to see. I'm kind of hoping they have the ability (and decide to) retrofit the existing player character models with the new adjustment sliders. And some new hairstyles. Which yeah would be a lot of work to put in on a game that was released 15+ years back (and was in development starting a fair few years prior to that) but it would be nice to have the option.

Made a very simple supper of oven fries and chicken fingers (rather than a pork roast I was originally planning on doing), as my brother is doing plumbing work and this afternoon asked me not to use the kitchen sink until after he replaces its drain pipe tomorrow. So, meal that didn't need water usage, nor generated much in the way of dishes to sit around until the sink is back in commission.

#Thing A Day #December 2023 #Dec 1 #LotRO #Windolen #River Hobbit #Mariner #Arkenstone Server

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rubylarkspur22 · 2 months

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Questions and answers below the cut.

1: (🌸) To the Rengoku family, Mitsuri, Obanai, and Kaburamaru; How would you react to the Nezuko, Inosuke, and Zenitsu landing in prison.

Kyojurou: Were they simply caught with their swords out in public, or was it something worse?

Mitsuri: Oh, dear! What happened?! Do they need help?!

Shinjurou: Okay. First of all, what did they do? Second of all, where are they? Because I feel like Kamado is gonna bite a chunk out of someone if she's locked up for too long, given her track record.

Senjurou: ... Oh, no.

Obanai: I'd probably get them out. If only so no one loses limbs. It's for the civilian prisoners' safety, above all else, because Kamado alone is likely to kill someone if they tick her off.

Kaburamaru: *hissing in agreement with Obanai*

2: (🌸) To Tanjirou, Genya, Aoi, Muichirou, and Kanao, same question as #1.

Tanjirou: HM?! *distressed demon brother noises*

Aoi: Oh, dear. Can someone please calm Tanjirou down, before he breaks something?! And to answer your question, I'm gonna be wrangling Nezuko's brother so he doesn't burn down the mansion while panicking! This is why we don't ask questions or propose hypotheticals that suggest Nezuko's in danger!

Kanao: I suppose the best course of action would be to get them out. And also assuring Tanjirou that Nezuko's okay...

Genya: How angry was Nezuko? Because that's gonna affect my urgency, after seeing what she did to Upper Four in the Swordsmith Village.

Muichirou: I trust Nezuko can get herself, and her friends, out. If not, then Rengoku needs to train her better.

3: (🔄) Hantengu, how do you feel about the Kamado siblings?

Oh, that demon boy is terrifying. Terrifying! Why a Slayer would let a demon live is both bizarre and terrifying! But, I suppose it's only right to trust Hashira Tsugikuni's judgement.

4: (🔄) Kanae, what is your relationship with Urokodaki, Makomo, and Sabito, and vice versa?

Kanae: Well, after I broke free from Ubuyashiki, I had to seek sanctuary to survive. It took time, but I managed to find Urokodaki. It took some convincing to assure him I wasn't looking for him for Kagaya, but he eventually let me stay. I've been working to help, and earn my place, using my parents' pharmaceutical expertise to help patients. Makomo and I became close rather quickly, but Sabito needed to have some time to trust me. But they're both very sweet!

Urokodaki: Kanae was certainly a shock, but she's also been quite helpful. Both for information, and medical assistance. She's a hard worker, and a kind soul, now that she's free.

Sabito: She's alright, now that we know she's not an agent of Ubuyashiki. Though, she sometimes forgets to mind personal space, and can be excessive in her affection at times. I don't know what causes it.

Makomo: She's lovely. We make flower crowns together, and she's like a big sister!

5: (🎀) To Shizu and Kotoha, are you both aware that you have a squad of feral protective children now? If so, how do you feel about it?

Kotoha: I'm quite aware, yes. I think Kaigaku still has the scar from when Ume bit him after I got beat up for protecting Gyutaro. And Inosuke can also be quite protective, whenever he's nearby. I'm just happy to finally have a family I know I can trust, after everything that's happened.

Shizu: I... didn't know, honestly. I've just been focused on trying to make things up to Sanemi, I think I've not been paying much attention otherwise, outside of work. But hearing that reminds me of Sanemi and Genya. My sweet boys, always trying to stand up to their fa... to him. I hope I can return the favour.

6: (🎀) To the Kamado siblings, what are your Blood Demon Arts, and your thoughts one your fellow Upper Moons as well as Muzan?

Well, my Blood Demon Art is Exploding Blood. I can ignite my blood at will, and I've learned to completely control it and create different fires with different effects over the last several decades.

Mine is a set of spine tendrils. And sometimes, when Nezuko and I synchronize properly, I can launch a fire attack of my own.

As for our feelings about the others, and Lord Muzan?

Upper One is really mysterious, and a little scary. And... Something about him is familiar, but thinking about it too much gives me a headache.

He reminds me of... of someone who's long gone, even before we were demons. Hate Douma?

Hate Douma.

Akaza's nice, in a way. I wish he'd let me challenge him, though.

Maybe one day!

Also not fond of Hantengu. Can't believe he's Upper Four, with how much of a coward he is.

Yeah. All I can pick up is fear from him.

Gyokko and I talk about our art sometimes. Actual art, not his art made from corpses.

He smells like blood and rotting fish, and I don't like it. My nose stings just thinking about it. Lord Muzan has been good to us. He treats us well, and lets us share a rank.

*covers Tanjirou's ears* Between you and me, Lord Muzan and I have a mutual "Go f*** yourself" mentality towards each other. But it never leaves the mind reading. He knows acting out against me gets him in trouble with my brother, and I know he'll hurt either me or Tan... my brother if I act out. So we both behave ourselves for his sake.

7: (💕) To Tanjurou, how did you adopt Kanao and Zenitsu?

Oh, Kie and I weren't the ones to adopt Kanao and Zenitsu. They're close to our kids, and have helped us many times. It's appreciated, and I hope to pay them back somehow.

8: (💕) To Inosuke and Kanao, what is your relationship and how do you feel about each other?

Well, Inosuke is a great medic and trainer. And he's also a really good friend. Plus, it's fun to watch him mess with Aoi from time to time, and she doesn't seem to mind it either.

Kanao's a good Slayer. And she's been reminding me that, even though I had to resign from actually slaying demons, I'm still doing my part. And I've seen the affect she's had on Tanjirou since her first stay. Whatever happened before she left for the Mugen Train left a big impression on him. She's doing some good things, and I hope she keeps doing it.

#demon slayer #kny au #character q&a #🌸#🔄#🎀#💕

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callsignbaphomet · 2 months

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Okay, like I previously said Fallout version of Angelus is wild to me.

Btw TW for heavy subjects talked about here.

I like exploring different sides to them all in different AUs and Fallout is no different. Also, like I said in a post any info on them prior to 2023 when it comes to this AU is null and void. All that info is either eliminated or retconned.

Also I'm gonna try and better the tag system for better organization. Kinda got something in mind.

Anyway, I like writing and playing this version of Angelus 'cause it let's me explore a side to Angelus that the Oracle (Oracle is the original btw) version just doesn't have.

Oracle Angelus had a rough start. He suffered every type of abuse and my fucking gods do I mean EVERY TYPE OF ABUSE from as early as 1-year-old up to 13 or 14. Pretty much a little over a decade of nonstop physical, emotional and psychological torture. He did NOT get out of that unscathed. The trauma of it all still clings to him to this day. Had he been human he would've died like at 2, if he would've survived he would've been completely deformed and disfigured. But he's a werewolf so he somehow survived. Physically he has three scares from when his abusers tried to kill him. Two of the scars are from being shot in the chest and the third one is from being stabbed through the heart with a silver dagger. He actually scared which is basically impossible for a born werewolf but because his abusers never let him consume human hearts his immune system never developed. He even got fevers from infections. Anyway, it wasn't a good time for him and because of it a lot of mental problems arouse from it. He has C-PTSD, bipolar disorder, depression, severe anxiety, the abuse exacerbated his ADHD and also caused him to develop a severe eating disorder and it's not some cute and quirky "oh ha ha i'll just pick at this salad i gotta watch my weight ha ha." No, this man legit will starve himself as punishment because if he makes a mistake he thinks he deserves to be punished. He will actually layer on clothes so Jelani doesn't notice any weight loss but Jelani is always on top of that. They constantly check in on him and help him through it. He has some good days, some bad days and some catastrophic days but regardless he tries his best. He does have his moments of unfiltered confidence and times where he's shown he's very sure of himself and shown strength.

That's why I have this appreciation for the AUs because like for example the Fallout one he didn't have a messed up upbringing. Yeah, there's the whole being sold and the transphobic grandmother thing but it didn't affect him. He's cocky as hell, doesn't really take much of anything serious, in party mode almost 24/7, he's loud, explosive, confident, loves to eat, is extroverted, not insecure at all, no mental illnesses, rowdy, little bit selfish, morally gray and ambiguous, an absolute lil shit but with a good heart and more of a leader than a follower. Fallout Angelus is the extreme opposite of Oracle Angelus and it really puts Angelus as a whole into this perspective that I otherwise wouldn't have had a chance to explore this side of him if it weren't for this AU.

I was NOT kidding when I said Fallout Jelani kind of took the role of Oracle Angelus. He was very similar to Angelus but then he was assaulted (I know I put a tw warning but this is not a word I throw around so freely given that it's super charged. Not sure if anyone actually reads any OC posts aside from Arcade but still) and you know, it was a brutal and traumatic event and not even a month later he witnessed his father "die" which made shit far worse and this is post-apocalyptic America. Where in the blue fuck is he gonna find a therapist to work that trauma out? Fallout Jelani is pretty much Oracle Angelus.

And that was covering some aspects. In terms of sexuality he's still very much gay. I think that'll be the only aspect about him that'll never change. In Oracle he was born a male but he's actually intersex (both genitals and half a uterus, it sooooooorta works), on top of that he has a bit of a feminine body. He's very androgynous looking. In Fallout he was born a female and transitioned to male. In Oracle he's strictly a bottom HOWEVER, if Jelani (he's a switch and both subs and doms) asks he will absolutely top him because he feels 100,000% safe and secure with him. In Fallout he's 100% strictly a top while Jelani is 100% strictly a bottom. And he enjoys the fuck out of dominating Jelani.

Honestly this version of him is really fun. Oracle will always be Oracle but these AUs are so fun to explore different sides to all my characters.

#Angelus tag #fo: Angelus tag

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theoreticalconstruct · 2 months

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Weather (Star Ocean 2, Claude/Rena/Precis)

Title: Weather Fandom: Star Ocean 2 Characters: Claude/Precis/Rena Precis has a few science questions. Written for PolyamShippingDay at @polyamships, prompt was Weather.

"Is it true that there's no weather in space?" Precis had asked during one of his visits, lounging on her bed as Rena went over her notes.

Claude had been quiet for a moment, and Rena could see the crease in his forehead that showed up when one of them had asked a question that he wasn't sure how to answer. The last time she'd seen it was when he'd told them that a rainbow was light being refracted by the rain, and Precis had asked him if that "faster than light" travel that he'd mentioned would let someone get to the end of it and find the spirits that the legends talked about.

"Not as we know it," he finally said, "but that's because the kind of weather we see on planets like this one relies on there being an atmosphere. There has to be air, and water vapor in the air, and heat from the sun, or else there's no rain. If there's no air, we can't have windy days."

"Huh," she said. "I still don't get how there can't be any air out there. How do you live out there with no air?"

"Didn't he explain this before?" Rena asked, looking up from the notes. "They take their own air. Right, Claude?"

He'd nodded along with her. "It's more complicated than that, but yes, that's the simple explanation. If we didn't have air, we'd die."

"Does that mean you have weather on the ships?"

"Only the really big ones," Claude said, a bit more quickly, and Rena can see he's smiling. "That's on purpose, though - they make it rain like it does on Earth or Expel, so that they can grow plants."

"Wow." She leaned back, closing her eyes. "You're going to take us up to space one day, right? Rena and I, I mean?"

Rena sighed quietly. Precis had been asking him that ever since he'd told her the truth about who he was and where he was from, and every time she'd asked, Claude had just looked worried. "I can't make promises about that," he'd told Rena privately, "even though I want to. But the Federation... I still don't know what they'd say if I told them. I'd like to think they'd let Excel join them within our lifetime, but... it can take years. Decades, even."

Precis reached out, took Claude's hand. "You always look sad when I say that," she said. "It must be tough."

"I... it is," he admitted.

"So why don't we help? If Poppa and I could build something that could go to space ourselves, they couldn't really stop us. Could they?"

"That... would be a lot harder than you think," he managed, but Rena could see the delight in his eyes.

"But could we do it?" Precis pressed.

"Yeah, of course. If you could make a ship capable of surviving in space, they'd probably let the planet join on the spot."

"Sounds like a fun challenge!" Precis laughed, still lying on the couch, and opened her eyes to look at Rena. "You'd help us, right? Then we could visit Claude at home, for once!"

Rena looked from one to the other, Precis smiling like a troublemaker and Claude clearly impressed and worried at the same time. "I don't know if we could do it," Rena said, "but for that, I'd try."

Claude shook his head. "I don't think I could stop you if I tried," he said, the slightest hint of a groan audible in his voice, "but promise me you'll be careful. There's a lot that can go wrong, and that's before you get off the ground."

"Oh, don't worry. This isn't my first time building really crazy stuff." Precis opened her eyes just long enough to wink at him before settling back down, leaving Claude and Rena looking at each other. Claude looked so flustered, as was so often the case with Precis; Rena was sure that she did it on purpose.

She also knew that she couldn't possibly hide her amusement, so she didn't try.

#Star Ocean 2 #Claude C Kenny #Rena Lanford #Precis Neumann #fanfic #polyamshippingday

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pickinglilahs · 4 months

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I'm not done with the Blackeclipse story, but I'm shifting gears to my One True Love... Drarry

Chapter 1 (2k) Slow burn AO3 link, Ch 2 This is a Trans!Harry fic (Gender Fluid/NB/Queer!Harry). Basically, the Dursleys didn't want to raise a girl so they brought Harry up as a boy. It didn't really matter till 8th year when it suddenly did. Most chapters will be T but some will be 18+ Also, there will probs be trigger warnings on some chapters for abuse, PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. This first chapter is kind of harsh as we do dive into some of Harry's past for backstory so...Take care of yourselves

Harry was having an identity crisis.

At least, that's what Hermione called it.

Supposedly, since he had spent most of the last decade trying to survive, he hadn't had much time to think about his gender.

Or maybe it's just that his gender had never been an issue before. It always just...was.

Granted, when Harry was little, he had tried to understand, but his middle school library didn't have any information on anatomy, let alone 'Sissy Boys.'

That's what he was.

A Sissy Boy.

At least, that's what the Dursleys had called him, and, as he was just a little kid who didn't know any better, Harry believed them.

Sissy Boys were weak and stupid, and they didn't have a penis like Real Boys.

Sissy Boys were freaks.

And Harry had been twice as freakish because of the accidental magic that he didn't understand.

Looking back, Harry could see how their influence shaped his understanding of the world and himself. Their treatment of him was still engrained on his psyche.

The Mind Healer Harry had seen after the war wasn't very helpful when it came to things like that though. Sure, they had helped him understand his panic attacks and how to work through them. They helped with finding coping mechanisms for when everything became too much. They had even started him down this path of self-discovery.

It was actually them who had suggested he attend Hogwarts for the 'eighth year' McGonagall had offered his class. Supposedly, it would be good for him to have the chance to be a normal teenager.

Well, here he was, back at Hogwarts, and he felt anything but normal. Though, Harry had to admit, that was a comfort in its own right. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if all he had going on was classes and gossip.

Maybe that was why he had dove head-first into this particular issue. This was something tangible. Researchable. Understandable.

On the first day of classes, Harry skipped lunch in favor of perusing the library alone. All he could think about during his morning classes was seeing if the Hogwarts library had the information his middle school library hadn't. Surely it must.

As he wandered up and down the aisles, Harry's mind strayed to other distractions. He assumed Hermione was at lunch—seeing as they didn't even have homework yet—and Ron hadn't come back for eighth year. He was in Diagon working with George.

That had led to a lot of yelling and crying, and now Ron and Hermione weren't speaking to each other.

Again.

And while Harry had stayed far away from that minefield, Ron wasn't talking to him right now either.

He and Hermione were on speaking terms, but they didn't do much speaking, even before the fighting. They mostly sat in each other's company, both terrified of being alone.

After twenty minutes of wandering up and down the aisles, Harry finally gave in and asked Madam Pince for directions.

While he was terrified of the shriveled old shrew, she did direct him to the proper section, scowling suspiciously all the while. He made his way over to the shelves and stared at the books blankly.

He could feel Pince's eyes on him, so he pulled a book down at random, flipping it over and pretending to read the synopsis. After a few moments, he looked back up at the shelf and grabbed two more books from different shelves.

Confident that at least one would be able to answer his questions, Harry took the books back to Pince to check them out. He put them into his bag and there they sat the rest of the day.

He went to his afternoon classes and kept his eyes on the teacher or his notes, but his mind never strayed from the books in his bag and the answers they might hold.

When he finally made it to the eighth-year common room after dinner, Harry went straight to his room. He had his own with a private bathroom—Thank Merlin—; so, he grabbed the library books and flopped onto his bed.

Examining them, he thought he did a pretty good job blindly grabbing. The first was Sex versus Gender. The second, Anatomy for Dummies. And the third was just called Trans.

Harry still wasn't sure what 'trans' meant, but McGonagall and Pomfrey had both used the term when asking about him in first year. So, at the very least, he could finally learn what it meant.

He started with the anatomy book, flipping until he got to the section labeled Male v Female. The cover page just had symbols and things on it, so he turned to the next page.

Here, there was a drawing on each page. Both the male and female were just outlines with their organs showing. A big arrow pointed to the female's gut, pointing out the additional organ labeled 'The Uterus.'

Harry frowned and turned the page again, a sinking feeling in his gut. There were two more drawings, this time zoomed in and slightly from the side.

Harry wasn't stupid. He had looked down there before and he knew it was definitely not what was drawn on the 'male' figure.

He turned the page again and was greeted with 'The Vagina.'

Harry's stomach rioted. He leaped off the bed and sprinted for the bathroom. When all of his dinner had made a reappearance, he sat on the floor. Putting his back against the wall, Harry pulled his knees up, hiding his face.

Female

Male

Sissy Boy

Female

Sissy Boy

Male

Female

"Harry?"

He jumped as he felt Hermione's hand on his ankle. Her face was blurry, but he could see her furrowed brows.

"Harry, are you ill? Do you need to go to Madam Pomfrey?"

Harry just stared at her. His mind was spinning too fast to grasp what she was saying, let alone formulate a response.

Seeing his blank, unfocused look, Hermione sighed. She left to fetch his school robes, which had been tossed carelessly over his desk chair. Walking back to Harry, she pulled the Walkman out of one of the pockets and turned it on.

She held the headset up to one ear to make sure it was playing before slowly reaching out to put it over both of his. Then she picked his glasses up off the floor, cleaned them with a tap of her wand, and put those on him too.

When his hands came up to adjust the way his glasses and the headphones sat on his ears, Hermione sighed in relief. She went back out into his room, putting his robes in the hamper, and grabbed his charms book from his bag to read.

She was about to go back to the bathroom to sit with him when she noticed the books on Harry's bed. Curious, she went over to look and gasped.

"Oh, Harry."

Not wanting to overwhelm him, she left the books and went to sit beside him on the bathroom floor. At least she knew what this was about. Usually, when he had an episode, what set him off was anyone's guess.

This?

This they had been expecting.

This, Hermione was prepared for.

So, she sat across from Harry on the floor of the bathroom, waiting for the storm raging in his mind to slow.

It was a surprisingly short while before Harry paused his music. He even took the headphones off, wrapping them gently around the player. He stood, still a little shaky, and dropped a brief kiss to the top of Hermione's head in thanks before making his way back to his bed.

Hermione followed him and sat at his desk as he pulled pajamas out of his trunk. She was already dressed for bed, having only come seeking him to check in and say good night. Hermione was glad she came.

As the desk and the bathroom door sat along the same wall, Hermione couldn't see into the bathroom from her seat. So, Harry left the door open as he went in to change and brush his teeth. As she had expected, Harry started talking once he was out of sight.

Unexpectedly, he didn't ask if she already knew or why they hadn't told him. No. Instead, he asked, "You know what the worst part is?"

It was rhetorical, but she answered anyway, "That you're only just now getting to figure this out?"

He snorted, "Nah, I've never had great timing."

He had a point.

"No. The worst part is that I knew. Or should have known. Or-" He paused, and she could picture him running his hands over his face, glasses askew. "Part of me had to have known first year with how everyone was asking all those weird questions. And I had to have known third year when Remus was telling me about-"

He trailed off, but Hermione knew. Remus had told Harry about his parents. About how they were expecting a baby girl. About how they would have loved to see who he had become, no matter what.

"I just didn't want it to be true."

Hermione could hear him brushing his teeth. She had no idea what to say to that.

When he came out of the bathroom, Hermione stood, holding her arms out in invitation. Harry didn't always accept hugs, especially not after having an episode, but he did this time.

In another life, he might have been taller than her. As it was, he was painfully small and frail. Even years of Hogwarts' feasts and Molly's cooking couldn't make up for a decade of malnourishment. Especially since he had still spent his summers at Privet Drive.

Another wave crashed through him as Harry realized he wasn't just small for his age; he was small for a boy. Hermione was average height, and he was almost as tall as her.

Which meant he was normal height.

For a girl.

Taking a deep breath, Harry pulled away. "Does this mean I have to wear a skirt now?"

The question startled a laugh out of Hermione before she could suppress it. Harry was smiling too, but the worry in his eyes belittled the effect.

"You don't have to do anything," she promised. "You could go on like you have been and no one would know the difference."

Harry nodded to himself. But... Did he want to go on like he had been?

"Or," she continued, "You can keep reading those books and decide for yourself who it is you want to be. This isn't an all-or-nothing, Harry."

He looked back up at her, confusion etched into his face. She smiled and went over to his bed, picking up Sex versus Gender and Trans.

"These are a great start, and I know a few others that might be helpful too. Don't be afraid to ask, Okay? And-" She choked off and switched directions, "You can write to Charlie too; they're nonbinary. They might be able to help you with more specific questions."

Something 'clicked' for Harry at the mention of Charlie. How the second eldest Weasley wasn't exactly masculine, but also not very feminine.

Both and Neither.

At the same time.

Harry looked down at the books in his hands and nodded again. He went over to sit on the edge of his bed, studying their covers. Hermione kissed his head and left, calling for him to try to sleep at least a bit tonight; even though they both knew he wouldn't.

Sighing, he settled back against the headboard, opened Sex versus Gender, and began to read.

@bradley-95147-blog @shyshadows430

#drarry #slow burn #trans!harry potter #nb!charlie weasley #abusive dursleys #harry needs a hug #watch me try to tag this like ao3 lol

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qzwrites · 5 months

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nykalaeni/astarion uhhhh 5?

for clarity: i don't think this happens The First time they have sex again, because that. happens on top of astarion's grave. and i think nykalaeni is so relieved he didn't do the ritual it isn't a big deal

but. uh. she's been teetering on the edge of a breakdown about this since act 2. :) it's the autism trauma "lmao"

this is also definitely not finished because "for some reason" writing about nykalaeni's autism trauma makes me cry. mysterious.

It didn't happen until after they started having sex again, because of course it didn't. Enjoying a pleasant turn wasn't allowed.

If only Astarion wasn't another elf, she might not have disturbed him. People who actually slept were harder to wake than people who tranced. But Nykalaeni could only stifle her tears so much, and she was unable to stem their flow. Every time she started to calm down and try to meditate, she found herself crying again.

Astarion stirred, then rolled over. "Nykki?" he asked, which stupidly made her cry harder. He hardly ever called her by name, and generally when he did, it was the full thing. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Nykalaeni said, which was a stupidly obvious lie. "I don't know," she said next, but that was also a lie. For all she had gotten quite good at lying when it was required for the sake of politeness, and arguably relied upon her inscrutability to tell lies when she didn't really need to but it was convenient, she still felt bad lying to those few people she was close to. She hadn't had anyone close enough to count for decades, so she hadn't realized that was still something that made her feel bad until well into traveling with the other tadpoled survivors of the nautiloid crash. She tried something that was at least honest, and said, "It's stupid."

"I'm sure it isn't," Astarion murmured, laying a hand on Nykalaeni's shoulder.

"It is," Nykalaeni insisted, because it was, but also because she suspected a full explanation would hurt him. She hated how childish she sounded, though. "It's irrational," she added, to mitigate that feeling.

Hesitantly, Astarion tugged Nykalaeni into rolling over, then pulled her into his arms. That, too, made her cry harder.

"I'm sorry," she said, pressing her face into his shoulder.

"Oh, hush," he murmured. "I've survived tranceless nights before."

That wasn't at all what she had been apologizing for, but again, letting him think that was better than explaining.

Nykalaeni couldn't stop thinking about how foolish and selfish she had been, and was still being, but she also couldn't stop feeling as though she had lost something.

After all, she had thought they were the same. She thought she and Astarion wanted the same things because they were similar, because she had finally found someone who she understood and who understood her. But that wasn't true at all. It wasn't true, and she had wanted so badly to believe it was true that she hurt Astarion. She should have known better by now. She thought she did. She thought she had made her peace with how abnormal she was, but she obviously hadn't, because she was so eager to believe Astarion was like her that she had missed all the signs he wasn't.

The fact that he had wanted her to think that, or at least something like that, didn't make her feel any better. Both because his reasons for wanting her to like him were so upsetting and tragic, but also because she should have known better. Everyone was trying to manipulate her, everyone was always trying to manipulate her, because she couldn't just be normal and have normal reactions to things. Of course someone who found her behavior reasonable was lying to her.

And if she said any of this to Astarion, he would probably feel worse about manipulating her, even though it really was a reasonable decision from his perspective. How could he possibly have known how powerfully Nykalaeni would react to the idea that they were similar? He had only known her for a handful of days, in a strange and stressful situation, around people who were strange and off-balance enough that her complete inability to relate to other people wasn't necessarily obvious. Why would he suspect that someone who was so determined to see other people's perspective and find equitable solutions was starved for the merest hint of understanding?

He had been so brave and vulnerable opening up to her, and it had devastated her. It would be so unfair to let him know that. She wanted to be proud of him--and she was, she really was--but she was also gutted. He was the cause of that, but he wasn't the reason, and she didn't know if he would be able to understand the difference.

Every time Nykalaeni's tears started to slow, Astarion would stroke her back or kiss her hair, and she started weeping again.

Finally, her eyes could cry no more, and she settled into uneven and difficult, sniffly breathing. When it must have been apparent that she wasn't going to start crying again, Astarion asked quietly, "I don't suppose you want to talk about it?"

Nykalaeni laughed, and her poor, overworked tear ducts tried to produce just a little more. "No," she said. "But we...probably should."

"I was afraid of that," he murmured, which made her laugh again. They weren't the same, but they did understand each other, she thought. Maybe Astarion had understood her better at first, but his admission after Moonrise Towers made sense of any number of little things Nykalaeni had ignored or dismissed. He'd trusted her, when he found it nigh impossible to trust anyone.

"First of all," Nykalaeni said, speaking steadfastly into his shoulder instead of leaning back to where they could see each other's faces, "I want to emphasize that I'm very glad you told me about your plan, and I am very fond of you."

"Gods, pet, if that was supposed to be reassuring, you're very bad at this," he said, and Nykalaeni's body found more tears somewhere.

"I know," she cried. "I know I'm bad at this, I've always been bad at it! I don't know how to understand other people!"

"Shit," Astarion muttered.

"I'm just sad, it's not your fault, I'll get over it," Nykalaeni sobbed.

"Now, you must know that's an alarming thing to say," he said.

"I know," Nykalaeni said. "I know, I didn't want to say it like that, I'm sorry."

#nykalaeni #bg3 #nykalaeni and astarion actually have some uhhhh pretty directly conflicting traumas. whoops #fanfic

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