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#they should be called deli
the-one-and-only-tree · 11 months
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PLEASE
I am begging someone PLEASE HEAR ME OUT
What if they just kissed.
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landwriter · 1 year
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67 and/or 38!
alright the last one of these I tried to answer is currently an 8K WIP so here goes nothing [ins. ralph wiggum ha ha I'm in danger gif]
We've got Hands by Barns Courtney on deck, a fun little rock anthem about meeting a cutie at a show and then losing their number and trying to find them. Going looking in the streets even!
This would be a fun missed connections AU - both humans or else a Dream who is taking mingling with humanity a LITTLE too seriously, a little like a bender, and a Hob who organizes shows, sometimes does security for them. It'd be a little love letter to a very specific brand of twee indie romcom films. i will not name a setting or a time period because that was the thing that ruined me last time!!
So one night, at a show - not one of his - Hob sees Dream, it's a fuckin' coup de foudre. The thunderbolt. Love at first sight. Dream is wearing a leather jacket, black lipstick, and a determined sort of expression that suggests he is a) utterly shittered and b) here looking for a fight.
Hob gets it. He does. He used to go looking for fights all the time. He watches from across the crowd as Dream finds his. When he takes a punch grinning, like a fucking lunatic, not even defending himself, Hob shoulders his way across and intervenes to try and make peace. Dream has, of course, chosen the most unlikable possible person to get into it with, and when certain Objectionable Comments are made, well, it's a bad look, he knows, but Hob decks the guy anyway before his buddies throw him out. And then Hob is left to deal with Dream, who is kicked out too, for starting it, except kicking him out actually means taking him home, because Dream is too drunk to get back to his, and also refuses to tell Hob where he lives.
Dream is flirting with Hob the entire way back, and saying things like "You need not have come to my defense," and sort of feeling up the arm Hob has offered to steady him with, and just. Just staring a lot at him, with very blue eyes. Hob resolutely deposits him on his sofa with a glass of water and a quilt he actually knit himself, and then goes alone to his room. After a second thought, he locks the door. He does not trust his resolve, not with this man.
Sometime in the morning - morning for decent people who weren't up until 4 AM, not yet morning for Hob - he wakes up and sees Dream standing in his room, like the world's hottest hungover sleep paralysis demon. "What the fuck," says Hob, muzzily, "I locked that."
"Why," asks the world's hottest hungover sleep paralysis demon, "Are you afraid of me?"
Hob, more awake, remembering last night, says, "No. But you were very drunk. And very persistent."
"I'm not drunk right now."
"Clearly still very persistent," says Hob, not only more awake at this point, but also considerably more in love with this stranger.
"I feel like shit." He says it while looking at Hob and sounding tremendously regretful. Hob honest-to-god blushes. Later, he thinks. In the actual morning. After a good breakfast.
He lifts up the covers. "Well, come on then," he says. "We can still snuggle."
Dream crawls in, and Hob nuzzles his face a bit into his hair. Dream sighs happily and settles himself into Hob's arms, presses his bony back into Hob's warm and naked chest. All the tension melts out of him. Hob wonders what sort of breakfast his stranger would like. Starts mentally planning something, and then dozes back off to sleep. When he wakes up at his morning - noon - the space next to him is empty and the bed is cold. But there's a phone number on his hand, and a smiley face.
Only Hob drools, when he sleeps, and the last three numbers are hopelessly smeared. He panics, a little. Starts dialing numbers, looking in the phonebook, asking around at shows with his stranger's description. It's the opposite of trying to find a goth in a haystack. That would be so, so much easier than this.
Dream, for his part, had to leave for work, but it's fine. He's sure this man will call him. He knows where he lives, of course, but Matthew insists he has already acted 'sufficiently fucking unhinged' and 'cannot show up on some guy's stoop, he lives in Greenpoint dude, you will get the cops called on you'. So Dream tries to wait. He thinks, over and over, of this man who threw an easy punch in defense of his honour and then looked, bizarrely, bashful about it, who threw the same arm around him and used it to tug him closer and huff softly into the back of his neck the next morning, and Dream knows it's not exactly the normal speed of things, but he's in love. He's in love, and his happy confidence that he was going to be phoned the same afternoon - or, maybe he was busy, the next day then - or on the weekend, surely? - or - has vanished.
It's not his stoop. That's what he tells himself when, on the fifth day of not hearing anything, he finds himself picking up oranges and putting them back down again at the bodega a block from the mystery man's apartment, staring at the door as if sheer willpower might summon him. He starts getting flowers for his sisters at a Greenpoint florist. At his lowest moment, he does an entire load of laundry at a laundromat three blocks away, and spends the whole time staring out the plate glass windows furiously people-watching. Maybe he doesn't even live there. But it had seemed like a home. It had - felt like one. More than Dream's own apartment ever has.
Hob is giving up hope as the week wears on. New York is huge. Brooklyn is huge. What if he was just a tourist? What if he lives in Delaware? He didn't look like someone who lives in Delaware. He's even fallen behind on his fucking errands because he's been going to every show he can find, shows that he thinks would be his stranger's scene, staring at crowds looking for black hair, black lipstick, blue eyes.
And after nearly a week of these mortifying shenanigans, he finally sees him again - at the bodega of all places - and Dream looks, frankly, furious, until Hob holds up the back of his hand, the faded incomplete phone number (he morosely started avoiding washing the spot after fearing it might be all he would have as a memento), and Dream realizes that Hob had wanted to phone him, he had.
Hob hands him the sharpie he always keeps in his pocket, says, "Here. For next time. Something that lasts longer."
And Dream, of course, takes it from him, wearing the same wondering small smile he had when Hob invited him to come cuddle, and then he's staring at Hob again, except this time he's not drunk, he's not drunk, but they are in Hob's local bodega, which Dream apparently either does not know or care to consider, because suddenly strong hands are wrapping around the back of his neck and he's being kissed, sweetly and hungrily, and Hob is making a piteous noise of happiness into his mouth, and Dream is slotting a thigh between his legs, mother of Christ, right in front of the sandwich counter. Hob pulls himself away and breathlessly asks, "Can I take you home? Again?" and Dream smiles and takes his hand, the one with the faded blue scrawl Hob can finally wash off, and pulls him out the door.
They're half way down the block before Hob remembers he forgot to buy the gnocchi. He makes them go back for it, because he's pretty sure they'll be hungry in a couple hours. And he still owes his stranger a good meal.
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brokebackmacden · 2 years
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love when my thinking is absolutely irrational. all my life i hav felt like there's a constant pattern of when i am doing badly n don't know how to express it so i bottle it up, there are nests of bugs following me. happened last year when my dad died i got a lady bug nest in my room, now our a/c is broken n we have no idea when it'll be fixed and i am so fucking miserable not even just cuz of the a/c but it sure doesn't help to be sitting at a constant temp of like 80 degrees At Least making it worse n now there are bees trying to make a home on the roof of our porch. it may not b rational but it sure is a pattern i notice every time
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beelas-bees · 2 months
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what could've been.... I WANTED MONKEY DAMN IT
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scarfacemarston · 25 days
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Teacher!Natasha x Teacher!Reader Oneshot
For Lesbian Visibility Week! If you enjoyed this, please note and reblog! Feel free to send other prompts or requests! Prompt: The students come into your classroom complaining about Natasha as a teacher not knowing you're her wife. This is version 1. You sighed as you glanced at the digital clock on your computer. Damn. Your planning period was almost over, and you really needed to finish grading these essays. Soon, you would be back to teaching your high school history classes for the day. The period ended far too quickly as students began to file their way into the classroom, discussing this and that. You were so engrossed in your work that you were hardly paying attention until you heard “Ms. Romanoff” mentioned not once, not twice, but in a string of sentences. Oh boy. Ms. Romanoff was one of the more controversial teachers at the school known for her no-nonsense attitude, sternness and sarcasm , but she was also fair with a dry sense of humor. “Why did I take international politics as an elective? Oh, that’s right, I thought it would look good on my transcript!” One student said sarcastically. “She’s so nitpicky! I got an A-. AN A MINUS!” “Hers is the only class I don’t fall asleep in anymore. Not since….last time.” “She’s so strict even the Macklin brothers shut up.” “She’s terrifying. I heard she used to be an undercover agent in the CIA”. You smirked at that one. You should probably look into that rumor. “A spy? Shut-up, man. Who’s going to believe that?” “I heard she was a failed actress.” “I heard she voiced the Russian Siri.” “I heard she’s a rich heiress that lost all her cash.” “Look, guys, I don’t care. She just ripped our class to shreds.I just can’t right now. Nearly the entire class failed her last test. These test corrections are going to take all night.” “At least you’re allowed test corrections! We’re her AP class and the only way we can make up points is through a new essay.” “She’s scary. I swear” “I think she knows what I’m thinking and then that makes me think more and then she thinks what I’m thinking and that thinking makes my head hurt.” “I was ONE minute late to class and she gave me a late slip!” “One time my grandma called me in class, and she made me pick it up.” You shot a quick text to Natasha before the bell rang. Her classroom was two doors down from yours since you two were technically in the same department. Time to log off your grading program and begin class. You pulled out the binder with today’s lesson plans ready to begin. “Wow, you all are full of comments about Ms Romanoff today.” You said neutrally. “Miss Y/N, you don’t understand. She’s so ….uh, extra.” You withheld a smirk. Natasha wasn’t what you would call extra, but she was set in her ways.” “I don’t think she’s extra. I think she just has high standards.” You responded. One of the students rolled their eyes.
"Do you all talk about me like this when I'm not here?"
"Nooo Ms. Y/N, we would never!"
"Well, maybe you could extend the same courtesy to my wife next time," you said, withholding a laugh. The room fell silent. A pin could have dropped.
“Fuck” you heard someone say under their breath. “Language”, you chastised, but you couldn’t say you blamed them. You saw the students in various forms of awkward shuffling, a cough here or there or “Ummm” or “Uhh” as students tried to form sentences. “Wait, you’re married?” a student questioned before being glared at by the others. Your fourth period class was near silent for the rest of the period, with the students seemingly still in shock. One minute til the bell rang. You saw a flash of red hair out of the corner of your eye. Thirty seconds. Natasha knocked on the door. “Hey, you, we’re all ordering from Robert’s Deli for lunch. You want your usual or will you finally try something new?” Natasha teased. The class whipped their heads collectively towards the door. It was becoming harder not to laugh. Natasha narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on, Y/n?” “Oh, you’re scaring my class, dear!” You said, smiling widely. Natasha scoffed. “Dear, huh? Oh, so they found out, didn’t they? As if us entering the building together and leaving together in the same car wasn’t hint enough that we’re married.  Yeah, I might have scared a few of them. It was well deserved, trust me, Isn’t that right, Reynolds?” Jason Reynolds sank down into his seat, not meeting Natasha’s eyes. The bell rang. The students couldn’t scramble enough as they grabbed their bags and rushed past Natasha. You gave a small laugh as you finally met Natasha. “You’re a mean woman, you know that?” “Hey, you texted me, babe.” “It was great, not gonna lie. Sorry the “secret” is out.” “It’s not like we’re closeted, we’re simply professional. I’m surprised they didn’t figure it out sooner….or maybe I’m not.” Natasha muttered. Your stomach growled. “Alright, I’ll look up the menu. Find something new to try for once. Promise.” You said in response to your stomach. Natasha nodded. “Don’t want you to scare the next class because you’re hungry.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End
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eyndr · 2 years
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Just ranting, ignore me
SO! Its been a fuckin hell of a year so far yet the misery continues!! Tried to move, went all the way across the country because thats where the opportunity was, living arrangements fell through. Moved all the way back, and now after a week of struggling to acquire health insurance i was finally able to call my trans doc and tell them 'hey i have insurance again please give me my boy patches' and let me tell you, i've been getting antsy because i ran out of patches almost 3 weeks ago and i've been taking it for long enough now that i'm not really supposed to stop, since it could have adverse health consequences. Which I've been warned about before because with my previous insurance I had to hound them every fucking month for a year and a half for my monthly refill and there were times when i went a few weeks without. Like i know its a controlled substance but they just wouldn't put my refill request through for weeks unless i called them daily about it, going back and forth between the insurance, the docs office, and the pharmacy.
Now of course i told the new insurance 'hey i have this medication i need, i need to be sure u cover it' and they went 'yep we sure do :) ' so i said great here's my money. Just got off the phone with the doc who says my new insurance wont cover my testosterone patches, and i'm about to flip my shit but then doc says they DO cover the injections. So uhhhh i guess i have to get over my fear of needles REAL quick because i'm gonna be sticking myself with em every two weeks now i guess
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houseofanticipation · 8 months
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You're sitting with your friend Sam at a coffee shop, catching up. She's telling you about an instagram ad she keeps getting for some audiobook streaming service. "It's just crazy," she says, "because I was just telling Lucille I wanted to start reading more books but I never have the time, and then it's like instantly I'm getting these ads all the time."
"So what," you say over your steaming mug, "you think they're listening to you?"
Sam shakes her head. "Honestly I think it's almost scarier than that. They have so much information about us, they don't even need to listen to our conversations. They just know, based on everything they've gathered about me, that I'm probably someone who wants to listen to audiobooks."
"Well they can't be that smart," you say. "Because the only ads I've been getting lately are for something called Slut Cream."
Sam raises an eyebrow. "You must know I'm going to need more details."
You take out your phone and find an ad to show her. It's not difficult; literally all of the ads you see on instagram are like this. They're even showing up in other places now, on webpages you visit or apps you use. This one is one you've seen before: a beautiful woman in a crop top that just barely covers her nipples is proudly displaying a squeeze tube of the kind you'd buy sunscreen or toothpaste in. The caption says, "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle! Step up your slut game with Slut Cream! Shop Now"
"I don't even know what slut cream is," you say. "All you get when you look it up is a bunch of porn."
"Well, obviously it's a way to step up your slut game," says Sam sagely. "What does it say on the website?"
"Oh, I'm not clicking the link," you say. "I don't want to encourage them! What I want to know is why suddenly this ad is all I can seem to see!"
Sam shoots you a wink. "Maybe you're just a slut. These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."'
What neither of you know is that it's actually quite easy to buy online ad space, and they let you get pretty specific with your intended audience.
I live in the next apartment over from you. I've been watching you for a long time, studying you, listening to you through our shared wall. We've talked a few times, some terse conversation at the mailboxes or in the hall, which is how I knew enough about you to place those ads, with audience parameters so specific that probably only you and about five other people would see them. I had fun making them; hiring the model to do the photoshoot, dusting off the skills I picked up in that college graphic design course, creating a website for this fake business (though I'm disappointed you still haven't clicked through to see it). If you actually tried to buy slut cream, the website would tell you we're currently closed due to high traffic, and to check back later. Nowhere on the website does it explain what slut cream is.
A number of strange things happen to you over the course of the following day. On your lunch break you walk down the block to the deli by your office. You're in here every weekday, but today the energy here is different. People are staring you, side-eyeing you, having whispered conversations that stop abruptly when you get too close. As you're walking back to work, an old woman spits on the ground as you pass, you'd swear you heard the word "whore!" hissed under her breath. You wonder if you should say something, stand up for yourself, but she's elderly, probably confused, and you decide to be the bigger person.
In the hours after lunch, you're propositioned by no less than seven of your male coworkers. You've had to refuse a few invitations to dinner in your time, but seven in a day is completely out of the ordinary, and the things these men are offering to do to you go way outside the bounds of first date stuff. One guy tells you the conference room is empty, if you want to go for a quick fuck; another guy tells you he hasn't cum in a month, and if you sucked his cock he'd pump so much cum down your throat that you wouldn't need to eat dinner. Your boss even tells you he and his wife are looking for a third and he thought of you first, like he's offering you a big promotion. The strangest thing is that all of these men seem genuinely surprised when you turn them down. Like this sort of thing usually works with girls. One guy even says, "sorry, I was just trying to help."
It was pretty easy to hire actors for the deli and the street. You go to the same place every day, so I knew where they'd have to go and roughly when they'd need to be there. The harder part was getting your coworkers to play along, especially because I was picky about getting people who could sell the act. For a few of them all it took was money. A few of them I had to blackmail. For your boss I had to call in a favor, get his boss to threaten his job. He protested, but I think it made his cock hard, thinking about fucking you alongside his wife.
I keep this up for a few weeks. Anywhere you go I have people watching you, talking about you behind your back. I have people approaching you on the train, at the park, in restaurants, offering to fuck you like they're doing you a favor. You stay firm in your refusal—I wouldn't have expected any less from you—but I can tell it's beginning to eat at you. I watch you try to figure out what you're doing that seems to give all these people the wrong idea about you; you start to dress more modestly, talk less, even walk a little less confidently. But none of this will change anything. All it will do is make you feel more repressed.
After a month, I decide it's time to make my move. I could probably wait longer, but the anticipation is getting too much for me, and besides, you're beginning to get a little wild around the eyes. I'd hate to break you before I've had my fun. One evening, when I know you're home, I unlock your apartment with the duplicate key I had made two months ago. You're in the kitchen, washing dishes with headphones on; you didn't hear me come in. I leave the door open as I approach you, admiring the way you shake your ass to whatever it is you're listening to. I get right up behind you and stay there for a moment, lavishing in your innocence, feeling my cock strain at my belt as I imagine taking it away from you. Then I reach around front of you with both arms and plunge my hand into your panties
You shout in shock, fight back, try to push me off as the headphones fall off your head. But I've got you pinned against the counter, my full body weight against you, one hand down your pants, the other groping your breasts. Once you realize that fighting won't help, you stop struggling and ask me what I want. "Please," you say. Just hearing that quiver in your voice almost makes me delirious with lust. "Please, let me go. I don't want this, please."
I bury my face in your neck, kissing and breathing you in. You smell incredible, like fear and sweat and sex. I bring my lips up to your ear, let them brush against you as I speak. "Of course you want this, baby. You've been trying so hard to hide it, but you don't have to hide with me. Look, you left the door open for me." I let you turn your head enough to see the door hanging open just as my fingers find your clit. I'm rubbing you gently, tenderly, just the way I've watched you touch yourself through the webcam I have in your room. My other hand is under your shirt now and I'm squeezing your breast, rolling your nipple between my fingers, feeling it slowly grow full and erect. You try to stifle a soft moan and I kiss your neck again. "It's okay, baby. You don't have to be ashamed. It's okay to want to feel good. Let me make you feel good."
You clutch your face in your hands and let out a cry of frustration and humiliation and agony and pleasure. You barely know me; I'm the guy next door who sometimes looks at you a little too long. The guy you speed up to avoid in the hall. But that feeling radiating from you clit... You think how exhausting it's been, doing everything you could think of to change people's perception of you, get them to stop looking at you as a slut, how none of it has done you any good anyway. You wonder if you'd have had more fun fucking Jim in the conference room, or swallowing Dylan's cum, or having a threesome with your boss and his wife. And that throbbing in your clit, the agonizing pleasure...You remember that beautiful woman in the ad: "Being a slut isn't a hobby—it's a lifestyle!" You think about how happy she looked, how fulfilled. You remember Sam's words: "These data brokers know us better than we know ourselves."
It does feel good, doesn't it? To let me touch you, pleasure you, to let go of this act you've been holding on to. Isn't it okay to want to feel good? Why did you ever let anyone make you ashamed of that? You try out another moan, letting the pleasure well up through your chest and out your mouth. It feels good, so you try another, and another, and then you're leaning back into me, grinding up against me, delighting in the feeling of my hard cock against your ass.
"Good," I say. "You're letting go of those silly hang-ups. Now we can have our real fun." My hands still around you, controlling you, I half lead-half carry your trembling body to the bedroom. I throw you on the bed, face up so I can get a good look at your eyes, see what I've done to your mind. Those same eyes that have avoided me in the hall so many times now gaze hungrily up at me, wanting me, needing me.
Who am I do decline?
I pull off your pants and panties as a single unit, letting you take care of your shirt for yourself. I kick of my own bottoms, letting my throbbing cock slap against your leg as it springs from its confinement. Don't think I don't notice the way your whole body shivers when it touches you. I lift your legs and push your knees up towards your ears; you're remarkably flexible. It must be all that yoga I've watched you do at the place downtown. I've greatly enjoyed your visits to that place, so it's nice to see they weren't in vain.
You're afraid of me, all of a sudden. Maybe some part of you is seeing sense, realizing you'd have to be crazy to let a guy like me come into your home and fuck you like this. But what was the alternative? Have me rape you? Let me tell you, darling: I would have raped you. You feel the head of my cock gliding over your skin, exploring your inner thighs and pubic area, and tremble at my touch. I want this, you tell yourself. This is what a slut like me needs.
All the same, you cry a little bit when I penetrate you. It's not because it hurts—it does hurt a bit, but you're wet enough, and it's not entirely a bad pain. It's not because you're afraid—well, maybe in part, but that's not the core of it. You cry because you're finally letting go. Letting go of the person you used to be, or thought you were. It's the relief of knowing you don't have to pretend anymore, wrapped up with the mourning you feel when you lose a potential version of yourself. I lean across you as my cock fills you up, and tenderly, I kiss away your tears. "Hush, my darling. I'm here. I will always be here. I will love you despite what you are, when everyone else turns away in disgust."
My weight on you feels good, comforting. The way I press down on your legs, stretching you out, driving my cock so deep inside you that it brushes your cervix. It hurts a little, but is that any better than you deserve? Could a slut like you really expect to find better than this? Better than unconditional love and a desire to give you the pleasure you need?
I'm speeding up now, my face something like an animal, furious and insistent as I gaze down at you. There's darkness behind my eyes, you think, something cold and cruel. You thank God I'm on your side. My hips are like a hammer on your pelvis now, and with each thrust you feel my cock bulging inside you, throbbing and pulsating with anticipation. When I finally plant my seed in you, groaning and growling and pressing you further into the bed, you find there's something comforting about the warmth of my cum inside you. Maybe my seed will take root, make you swell up with me, make you mine. As I roll off you, huffing and panting, the tears begin to stream down your face again, this time from joy.
What did a slut like you ever do to deserve someone who loves you like I do?
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teamiibo · 3 months
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Meatku Deli, Fresh Cuts Daily!
…Maybe someone should call the health inspector…
fanart of @alleesaur 's butcher miku design !!! ^_^
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joshslater · 11 days
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Emergency Model
Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.
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"Excuse me, what's your shoe size?"
Bewildered I looked around to find the man who asked the random question, like out of that old episode of Monty Python. Off to the side, almost behind me, was a thirty-ish man in polo shirt, jeans, and glasses with plastic rims that looked purposefully selected to make him look like a film director or architect. He looked unsure or stressed. "Eight, eight and a half. Who's asking?"
Immediately he brightened up. "Hello. I'm Ben Atkinson, " he said and extended his hand. "We're making a photo shoot of the supplemental collection of sporting clothes," he continued without waiting for me to shake it. "It's all for the online shop, so simple stuff. White background, a few poses." Tentatively I shook his hand. "Pretty fast rotation of models. Unfortunately one of them has called in sick. You have the right look, but more importantly the right build and size."
"Uhum," I answered, sensing where this was going. It was a Saturday morning, and I was on my way to meet up with some friends at Wayland's Deli.
"This is quite sudden, but we are on a tight deadline. If you're willing to model for us I'll give you twice the normal rate."
"Ok," I said, not waiting to hear what the normal rate was. I'm sure Stuart would not stop giving me grief about it for the rest of the year, but I would technically be a photo model which wouldn't be a negative in Sarah's eyes. Turned out that it would also be double my monthly earnings as well, so maybe I could shut Stuart up as well.
We entered the building, which apparently was an office space that had been taken over for the day for the shoot. There were racks of clothes everywhere, lots of people with iPads tracking what item was where, who should wear it, and in what conference room they should shoot it. It was bustling with activity. After some exchange of information with Ben, and signing papers, I was handed over to a conference room turned makeup and styling studio. Most of the furniture was stacked in one corner and the floor was covered by transparent plastic that had been rolled out. To one side was a table with lots of makeup tools and bottles and stuff I wouldn't know how to use, except maybe the hand mirror and the scissors, and even that I'm not confident with. A pair of strong LED lamps on stands lit a chair placed at the center of the plastic. 
"I'm Julia, pleased to meet you. So you are the last one," said the stylist, carefully surveying me and in particular my face and hair. "We're short on time, so we have to work quickly. Are you ok with a buzz cut and tight fade?" Not what I would have chosen, but it's starting to get warm outside and it's only hair. I'd be back to my current length after the summer. "Sure."
She seated me in the chair and began the work with a corded trimmer, and soon a flurry of detail work with smaller trimmers and some of her tools from the table. Probably took her about ten minutes for the haircut. Then some time with a straight razor blade and a tweezer to pluck and shave all over my face and then arms. I told her that this was all new to me, having literally just been picked from the street. She reassured me that there wasn't much to it. Just be no-nonsense about it. Take whatever the stylist decides, change clothes quickly, do the poses the photographer asks for, and repeat.
"All done," she said and handed me the hand mirror as if I had any say in this. I looked so different than just moments before. The hair was shorter than I've ever had it, with a razor sharp fringe line. The fade on the sides was basically just an inch tall from the head and down the temple, then skin tight down, and presumably the same around the back of the head as well. The total amount of hair I was left with could fit a shot glass. "If you go down the corridor to the break room there is a shower in the bathroom there. Ask Andy outside to let you in. Take a quick rinse to get rid of stray hairs, change into these, put your stuff in one of the plastic boxes there, and come back to me for a final touch-up." She handed me a pair of white briefs and white socks. I hesitated a bit, and she was quick to jump ahead of my thoughts. "Everyone around here are used to see gorgeous bodies without clothes. Act as if it is normal, because to us it is. You can't be self-conscious. Oh, and Andy is the only one with a key, so your valuables are safe." Another boy showed up at the door saying he needed a new application. I told Julia thanks and went to look for Andy.
Andy unlocked the door to the office lunch room for me and I did as Julia had told me. I stripped naked and put everyting, clothes, wallet, phone, keys, shoes, into one of the plastic boxes, wrote my name on it with a whiteboard marker and placed it next to all the other boxes. Eight boxes in total. I went into the bathroom, took a 90 seconds shower, and dried myself off with one of the towels from the pile. I put on the briefs and socks, had Julia apply her things to me, and within ten minutes I was dressed in Nike shoes, joggers, and a fleece hoodie, being ordered by a photographer who didn't have time to introduce himself to look left, turn around, put my hands in my pockets, pull up the hood, sit down on the floor, and on and on. Then out change, and back with the next item.
It was going non-stop since they were behind on my stuff, so I had barely time to talk to anyone. There wasn't any proper lunch break either, just a protein bar together with two of the other models, Mark and Andrew. At first they thought it was funny that I had just been snatched off the street for the shoot, but when I told them how much more money I got they were like "fuck you, go back to work". Well the break was over anyway, so I don't know how serious they were.
It continued with item after item, until I realized I was the only model left. The others had taken off without saying goodbye, not that we had any relation. People were moving things out of the office, and when I asked about the hurry they said there was a firm deadline when they had to be out so the cleaning crew could put everything back to a working office again. I could feel the pressure as it was my item changes that held up everyone. I swapped into a pair of MRKNTN underwear that probably was like half a size too small but decided to just power through with the shoot. As soon as the last photo had been taken, they started to dismantle the light rigs. As I walked back to the lunch room I could see that most of the clothes racks were gone. The makeup room was back to looking like a conference room. I couldn't find Andy anywhere though, and the lunch room with my stuff was still locked. I wanted my stuff for sure, but more importantly I wanted to get out of the underwear that kept squeezing and chafing. I couldn't go more than 30 seconds without having my hands down the joggers to adjust them.
Ben wasn't anywhere to be seen either. I asked one of the remaining people and he said they had all left, working on getting all the stuff back and preparing the "delivery pipeline" for the photos. Probably Andy had checked off everyone from his list, and it was printed before I was recruited. "Just keep the clothes you have on and you can come back here Monday and pick up your stuff," he said.
Fuck.
No point in hanging around any longer. Everyone wanted to leave as soon as possible, so I just left and headed towards the bus stop. It was getting late and with no phone on me I couldn't call home and say what was going on.
Fuck.
I didn't have anything to pay the bus fare with. I could perhaps go back to the office building and see if I could catch anyone exiting, use their phone, and call for someone to pick me up. But there was no telling if and when I would get hold of anyone. Just walking back there would make me miss the next bus, so that would set me back at least an hour. I could just as well ask someone else to use their phone. Or perhaps ask them to cover the bus fare.
That's when I saw them, a little bit further down the street, past the bus stop. Six boys huddled at the corner, talking and messing around as if no one else was around. One had a bike. All of them dressed in the kind of clothes I had spent all day modeling in, track suits, hoodies, trainers. All of them were smoking. I figured I'd have as good a chance with them as with anyone else now, looking the way I looked.
As I was getting closer one of them alerted the others and they had some kind of conversation about me. "Hello, excuse me. Could I borrow money for the bus fare from any of you?" There was a second of silence before a mixed snicker erupted, and one of them answered "No, bruv. I don't think so."
I don't know why, but for some reason I was mortified by how I had been dismissed. I could feel my face turning red, so I quickly turned away from them to make my way back to the bus stop, without any plan of what to do next.
"Oi, bruv!" I heard from behind me. Looking back at them I could see three boys had gotten up and were heading my way. "Callum's grafting down at the barber's for some extra quid and need someone to practice on. What if he can do some practice while we cover the fare and take you home safely? Fair, innit?"
"I barely have any hair," I said and let my hand touch my fresh skin fade, almost shocking myself with how radically different it felt.
"Won't be much of a nick then, bruv."
He was right. There wasn't much he could ruin. I had only a few millimeters of hair so in the worst case scenario I could shave completely and it would be back within the week.
"Good lad. A deal innit."
"Yes," I said, unsure if it was expected. The guy who had spoken and Callum flanked me while the third lad walked behind me, enveloping me with the scent of smoke and body spray. After a silent moment the guy spoke again, introducing himself as Iwan and the third guy as Rob, and asked where I lived. I gave him the bus stop, Hillside Garden North, about 18 minutes ride. Would have been busy during the week, but at weekends there wouldn't be many on the bus.
We didn't have to wait long for the bus to arrive, but instead of entering by the driver they all bunched up again with me in the middle and entered through the exit doors as a single unit. Then they quickly moved to the back of the bus and pushed me into a seat next to Callum, facing Iwan and Rob in the furthest back seat. I half expected the driver to say something over the speakers, but there was barely a delay, if any, before the bus was moving as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I looked at Iwan with perhaps a bit of surprise and he just shrugged as if to say "what did you expect? That the driver would confront us?"
Then he nodded at Callum next to me, backpack in his lap, who answered "Aye" and got up. He placed the bag on the seat and positioned himself right in front of me, one leg on either side of mine, his knees hitting the edge of the seat, and his left hand grabbing the rail behind me. It felt both imposing and intimate. He opened the backpack and rummaged around with his right hand until he found a small trimmer in a zip-lock bag.
He opened it with both hands and threw the plastic bag into the backpack. Then he looked out and waited for the bus to drive on straight and even road before he turned the trimmer on. Then slowly he moved it in an arched line from my temple and along the side of my head until he reached the neck. Then he studied for a few seconds before he made a few additional buzzes along the same line.
"Not bad, innit?" he said while shifting his body so Iwan and Rob could see. "Fucking mint, mate," Iwan answered.
Then he turned on the trimmer again and unexpectedly extended the line by buzzing my eyebrow for a few seconds. I hadn't even considered my eyebrows. Callum reached into his backpack again to put the trimmer in the zip-lock, but without moving his feet so his body pressed even closer to me. While I couldn't see much, I could certainly feel his body spray filling my nostrils while I felt my eyebrows with my fingers. I guess there would be a lot to explain to mother anyway, so this would just be yet another detail.
I could just see it for a fraction of a second. It looked like a small glue gun in off-white plastic. Then before I could realize what it was it was pressed against my ear, it made a snapping sound, and I felt a sharp pain. "What the!" I said, more in surprise than pain.
"18G piercing. Hurts more, heals slower, but much better," Callum offered, as if it was the type of piercing that was in question, not that he had done it at all. He reloaded the piercing gun and I struggled with what to do. Just take it like the first one? Why should I? But then one piercing was the real threshold. Once you pass that, two is if anything better than one. This would soon be over anyway.
He was just as quick with the second one as the first one. "These need to stay in 30 days, you hear me?" he said, still standing essentially on top of me. "Yes, I understand," I said with a sinking feeling of all the implications. He put the gun back into the bag and went searching for something again. Finally he pulled out some sort of pliers, then held my earlobe with one hand while doing something with the pliers with the other. "Making sure they don't fall off," he explained before sitting down again on his seat. I could see Iwan and Rob again, and booth looked pleased. Iwan looked absolutely chuffed. "Fucking proper, innit" he said and pat me hard on the shoulder. "Fucking proper."
After than Iwan opened up and started to ask me all kinds of questions, starting with my name, which I realized I hadn't given him when he presented everyone. I was soon giving the highlights of the day as a photo model until we arrived my stop. To my surprise everyone got off with me. "Said we would take you home safe." We continued to chat all the way home and it turned out me Iwan and Rob had the same taste in electronic music while Callum was more of a rock guy.
"Ok, this is my stop," I said once we reached my house. "Meet us Monday, same time and place," Iwan said. "What?" "You owe us £2 for the bus, bruv." "But..." "You going back on our deal?" "No, I'll come by." "And wear the same clothes. Underwear too." "No! I have classes." "You'll figure it out, bruv." Callum opened his backpack again and tossed something to Iwan. "And use this," he said and handed over a can of Lynx Jungle body spray. "What if I don't? What if I don't do any of that?" "Where you live isn't a secret, innit? See you Monday, bruv."
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nolita-fairytale · 1 year
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make my heart surrender | carmy berzatto x fem!reader | chapter four: friday
pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader
warnings: lots of swearing, angst, use of she/her pronouns, friends to lovers, smutty smut-smut, this is an 18+ chapter so minors dni, no use of y/n, second person pov
word count: 6.7k
summary: buckle up people, because this is a long one! tonight is the night: the night you and marcus' dessert menu goes live, the night you meet natalie berzatto, and the night that truths are revealed.
a/n: is it hot in here or is it just me? who's ready for some smut? this will be the last chapter i post till sunday/monday, so we can all sit with this. hear me out: it's not that i think carmy is really good at sex. but there's so much tension between these two, i think reader is good at sex, and there's something to be said for being so turned on by the other person that it just hits different.
and here is that song -- the jazz standard turned acoustic cover.
read: part three | masterlist
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Friday
“Just remember that we don’t have to reinvent the wheel here. You just have to deliver a really damn good dessert time after time,” you instruct, setting Marcus up, pre-dinner shift. 
“I think we should focus on the burnt basque cheesecake in lieu of the classic. You already have a heavier lift on the bake for the chocolate cake. That way, whatever happens with the mixer, or the ovens… this version of cheesecake is pretty forgiving. And you don’t have to fuck around with a water bath just yet.”
“The tiramisu is perfect because it’s a no-bake option, and you can mix it up with different kinds of flavors – call it a special.” 
“Like what we’re doing Sunday?” Marcus suggests, in reference to the strawberry, lemon, and mascarpone version you be doing at the end of the week.
“Exactly,” you reply.
“Hell yeah.”
“It all fits into the menu so nicely too: elevated classics.”
“A play on tradition.”
“Exactly."
“Ah, I see you, chef,” Marcus nods along, excited about tonight’s R&D night. 
The game plan is to serve smaller portions of each dessert for the price of one, then get feedback by the end of the weekend. 
“Hey, family’s up in a minute. You guys ready to roll tonight?” Carmy asks, stopping by you and Marcus’ little pastry corner. 
“Yes, chef,” you both answer, in staggered timing. 
“She got me workin’ on a strawberry compote. Here, try it, chef,” Marcus encourages, grabbing a clean spoon and scooping out a spoonful from the deli container it’s been stored in. Carmy takes it, putting the spoon in his mouth and he tries the compote. 
“That’s gonna be really good with the tang and slightly bitter outside of the burnt cheesecake. Good work, chef,” he congratulates, inspiring a grin across Marcus face. 
“I’m learning so much from you. Seriously. Thank you, chef,” he says, turning to you. 
“Hey, you’re the one that made the compote,” you reply, redirecting the praise back to him. “Just sayin’.”
“Family’s up!” Sydney calls out to the whole kitchen. 
You lock eyes with Carmy, and he nods towards the front of house as if to say, ‘follow me.’ You and Marcus file in through the limited space that leads from the kitchen to the front counter, then finally, into the dining area of the restaurant. Carmy had told you all about the hellish remodel of this place – that the two tops, booths, and bar remodel had taken for-fuckin-ever. That it looked like nothing more than a diner with a few arcade games before the reopen. 
“Hey, thanks for jumping in so that Angel could cover me the other night,” Ebrahim says to you, as you find a seat next to Carmy, and across from Marcus. 
“Oh, it’s no problem. You feelin’ better?” you ask back. 
“Very much so. A little rest and a little maraq digaag and I’m good as new,” he answers. 
“What’s good, Jeff? Surprised you’ve stuck around this long. Glad we haven’t scared you away yet,” Tina greets. 
Carmy’s shocked, considering Tina rarely warms up to anyone. 
You chuckle in response. 
“It takes a lot more to scare me away, chef,” you reply, confident that you can keep up with everyone’s witty banter. Even though you’ve been welcomed in over the last few days, you know that they were a family before you came. 
And will still be one after you. 
Right. Because this is temporary. You’re only here for a week, you remind yourself. 
“Yeah, thought she’d be long gone after workin’ the line the other night,” Richie chimes in. “Especially considering she’s way out of your league, cousin.” 
“Yeah, yeah, fuck you,” Carmy shoots back, almost instantly. 
“I’m just glad you’re here now. Man, it’s been three days and you’ve leveled my shit up already,” Marcus compliments. 
“Besides, it’s nice to have some solidarity amongst the little boys club we work in every damn day,” Sydney points out, eliciting a scoff from Richie.
The two of you share a look, like a psychic high five or some shit. It begins to dawn on you that you could get used to this: this kitchen, these people….
“What? You got something against women supporting women, Richie?”
“Oh, so what? You’re the voice of feminism now, Syd?” Richie spits back. “Holy shit! Did you guys know that we were here in the presence of the new voice of-.”
You watch as Tina and Gary slump in their chairs, as if to say, ‘here they go again.’
“Don’t be such a prick, Richie. Oh wait.” Sydney challenges. 
“You know what-?” Richie starts up, before being swiftly interrupted.
“Damn, Syd. This is fantastic,” you interject, your voice louder than normal, in reference to her family meal. “These tostadas are fuckin’ perfect and I’m gonna need the recipe.”
Richie continues to go on about god knows what, distracting himself, as Sydney mouths a, ‘thank you’ across the table towards you. You nod towards her as if to say, 
I got you.
*
“Hey, I’m a little behind on plating. Sorry, chef,” Marcus apologizes, and you can tell he’s stressed. He gestures towards the plates that are ready to go out to the bar. 
He hesitates before asking, “Oh and uh… these ones are ready to go out. Can you-?”
“‘Course, chef,” you answer, a mini-pep talk coming his way. “But uh… before you keep going, Marcus, take a breath. I know you struggle a little with pacing – you want everything to perfect – but, it’s gonna come with practice and repetition.”
You can see that he’s flustered – a little frustrated even. 
“Expediting during dinner is a whole other animal, and it’s just night one. You got this,” you reassure. 
You and Carmy had such different leadership styles. While you both had come up in the same kind of kitchens, you didn’t like to yell unless you had to. You were here to teach, and you can’t remember the last time someone screaming at you had ever helped you learn something. 
You’re more than happy to support him by taking these plates out. You spent the first half of dinner service plating so that he could get some face time with customers – since you’d be asking for feedback. Then you’d switch halfway through service.  You also thought it might be good practice for him to lead, considering they’d need to hire more help with the new menus. 
You take a look at the ticket, one dessert tasting - two people - bar top, before taking the dessert plates out to the designated seats at the bar. There’s a gorgeous blonde woman sitting next to a guy in a sweater vest, as you make to approach the bar top. 
“Hi, you guys,” you greet, a cheerful smile on your face. “Sorry to keep you waiting. We’re testing out a few new desserts for our dinner menu, so I’d love to hear what you think.”
“Oh this looks great,” the woman says, looking at both perfectly plated desserts. 
“Here we have a burnt basque cheesecake with a strawberry compote, The Bear’s signature chocolate layer cake, and then a classic Italian tiramisu,” you explain, walking through each piece. 
“Wow,” the man marvels, almost as if he’s surprised. 
You share your name with them, and let them know that, if they have any feedback, that they can ask for you. As you turn to go, the woman calls after you, stopping you. 
“Wait,” she says, her eyes lighting up. “You’re Carmy’s friend.”
“Yes.”
“Pete, it’s Carmy’s friend!” she exclaims, nudging the man next to her with her elbow to try to jog his memory. “You know! The one that’s staying in our airbnb.”
“Oh!” he says, as the light bulb goes on in his brain. “Yeah, we’ve heard all about you.”
“I’m sorry,” the woman apologizes. “I’m Natalie, his sister, but you can call me Sugar. This is my husband, Pete.”
“Oh my god! Natalie! Yes, I’ve heard so much about you too,” you reply, finally registering that this was the same woman in family photos that Carmy had shown you years ago. “It’s so nice to put a face to the name. And great to meet you too, Pete. Seriously, thanks for letting me stay at the place. I mean, you really didn’t have to.”
“Likewise,” she says back. She scoffs before rolling her eyes and continuing. “Leave it to Carmy to ask us for a favor and not even introduce you to us, that soft shitty bitch!”
“Babe,” Pete starts. “Maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on Carmy, you know, in front of his-.” He gestures towards you and you’re not sure what he thinks you are to Carmy. 
Sugar brushes him off with a, ‘whatever,’ before you notice that they’re both in need of clean forks. 
“You guys need clean forks. I’m gonna-,” you start. 
“Oh no! I uh-, let me get it,” Pete interrupts, practically jumping out of his seat. 
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” he agrees, leaving the two of you alone. 
You lean against the bar top towards Sugar. 
“Well, he couldn’t get out of here fast enough,” you say with a laugh, stating the obvious. She laughs with a nod towards her husband. 
“Yeah he’s… special,” she replies. “I think he uh, I think he just wanted to give us some time to talk.” 
You’re not sure what to say next, because you’re not sure what you and Carmy’s sister, one you’ve never met before, would have to talk about. 
“So how’s the place? Do you have everything you need or-?” Sugar begins, in reference to the airbnb. 
“Oh! Yeah, no it’s great. I’ve got everything I need. Again, thank you. You really didn’t have to do that.”
“No, we wanted to!”
“Thanks…” you trail off, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable – nervous, maybe? Yep, definitely nervous, you realize, as you begin to ramble. “It’s a really great apartment. Beautifully styled.”
What the fuck are you even talking about, you think to yourself.
“Oh, I did that! Styled it, I mean,” Sugar’s quick to respond.
“Oh, wow!” you say. Were all the Berzattos creative? “Yeah, I just-, I really appreciate it. Made getting out here a little easier.”
“No, yeah, it’s-, it’s no problem,” Sugar continues. “Really… anything for a friend of Carmy’s.” 
You’re not sure why it’s so awkward, and it feels like you’re somehow both dancing around something you’re not even sure you should be dancing around. 
“I hope you don’t think I’m a total bitch for saying this but,” Sugar starts, cautiously. While she doesn’t want to make her brother look like a total loser in front of you, she’s also unsure of how else to say what she says next. 
“Bear's never really had any friends… not a lot of them, at least. So I-. Thank you. I mean. For being his friend, I guess… is what I’m trying to say.” 
Bear.
You figure it's a family nickname. You wonder why you’ve never heard it before, and yet, it’s no surprise that he kept it from you. He’d been so evasive about his family when you’d first met. For a bit, it just felt like a topic that was off limits.
You take a beat, processing what she’s just said. In some ways, you always knew that Carmy was a bit of a loner, but you could feel the weight of what she’s saying – how much it meant to her. 
“I know he’s not always easy to love but. I don’t know. He acts like he doesn’t need people, and I know he does. I mean, people outside of this fucked up shit hole anyways,” she continues, gesturing to her surroundings. 
You agree with a small laugh, “Yeah, he can be a real dick sometimes. That’s for sure.” 
“Seriously. Thank you,” she says, genuinely. 
“Of course,” you reply, making sure she knows that her words mean a lot to you. You take a more playful tone as you continue. “To be fair, we did meet in another fucked up spot. Not so much a shit hole though.”
“Yeah, and there’s that,” she sighs, lightheartedly. 
“I’m just glad he has someone. He needs someone. Even when he doesn’t want to.”
The rest of dinner service is a blur, as your mind continues to incubate on what Sugar had said to you. You let your interaction with her sit there, but try your best to focus on supporting the rest of service. 
You all work together to wrap up the evening – a chaotic dinner service with a lot of lessons learned. You and Carmy are the last to leave as you notice he’s wrapping up a few things in his office. With your jacket on, backpack slung over one shoulder, you stop by to say goodnight before heading out. 
He’s sitting in the chair, furiously scribbling a few notes down on a few pages of graphing paper. Your eyes flicker over all of the silly doodles on the whiteboard behind him. 
“Hey,” you say, causing him to look up from his notebook. 
“Good service tonight,” he says back. 
“Yeah,” you nod in agreement. “Desserts were a hit.”
“I heard,” he replies. 
You wait for him to say more, only he doesn’t. 
“So, I’m gonna get out of here. Marcus is gonna fly solo tomorrow morning, so I won’t be in till the dinner shift,” you start, shooting him a polite smile. 
You take a few steps away from the office before he calls out to you. 
“Hey!” 
You stop, taking a few steps backwards so that you’re standing in the office doorway once again. 
“You hungry?” he asks, tentatively. 
There’s a look in his eyes that you can’t quite identify: a little nervousness, and something else you haven’t had a chance to name yet. It’s like he’s not ready to part ways with you yet. You smile back at him, hoping to quell whatever nerves he has about the question he just asked you. 
“Always, Carm.”  
You’re tired and your feet ache from a particularly busy service, but you’re not ready to part ways with him either.
“Watcha thinkin?” you ask curiously, sliding your other arm through the loose strap of your backpack. 
“Can I cook you something?” he proposes, hopefully.
You laugh. 
“Is that even a real question?” 
You wait for him as he wraps up his notes and gather his things. Carmy slips on his jacket and ballcap, ready to head home with you. On the way, he lights up a cigarette, offering one to you, but you tell him that you’re trying to quit – or at least trying to cut back. It’s not a long walk back to his place, and you anticipate it being something along the same lines as what he had in New York: facebook marketplace couch, minimal food in the fridge, a TV and a bed. 
Nothing else – just a place to sleep, before he spends most of his day at the restaurant. 
When you arrive, you’re not surprised to see that your assumptions were correct. Carmy flips on a few lights as you follow behind him. You drop your book bag onto his couch, slipping your shoes off and removing your jacket, as Carmy bee lines for the kitchen. You hear the faucet turn on as you tentatively explore his small apartment, before meeting him in the small kitchen area.
He takes his time, washing his hands, before drying them on a dish towel and throwing it over his shoulder. 
“So what are we makin’, chef?” you inquire.
“We aren’t making anything. You’re gonna sit right over here,” he begins, gesturing towards the area across from his gas stovetop. “Oh shit. Hold on. Let me grab you a-.”
“I’m good here, chef,” you interrupt, making a sound as you hop onto the kitchen counter. You immediately reach for the bag of chips he’s thrown onto it. It’s not even closed properly with a clip or anything so expect them to be stale as you pop one of the chips into your mouth.
“Sour cream and onion? Change up from your regular doritos, huh?”
A small smile spreads across his face as he moves around his kitchen, locating a quarter sheet pan. He opens his practically desolate fridge, pulling out a fresh brick of pecorino romano, guanciale, and a few eggs he throws right into the pint-sized deli container that lays on the sheet pan. The rest follow: an unopened pound of dried spaghetti and black pepper, before he gently places the sheet pan on the counter, beginning to preheat two pans on the stovetop. 
“Are you-?”
“Uh huh.”
You smile to yourself. He’s making one of your favorites: carbonara. 
The first time he’d made it for you, you had just started spending some of your days off together – had just agreed to be a part of each others' quarantine pods. You knew he had Italian-American heritage but it was blatantly obvious when you took your first bite.
“Holy fuck,” you had practically moaned at your first bite. “This-, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m pretty sure your talents are being wasted on fine dining, my friend. This is… this is fucking unreal, dude.”
You had tried to convince him that this is the food you both should be cooking, but he vehemently denied the idea, insisting the fine dining was the highest on the food chain and the only way he could make a name for himself. 
He’d been drinking the kool-aid. You both had. 
You sit quietly, as Carmy works. You watch as he cuts perfect lardons, then renders the fat from the cured pork bits. The smell of the guanciale begins to fill the apartment, and Carmy opens a window, just to let the smoke dissipate. 
“You can uh, put some music on if you want,” Carmy says, motioning towards the small bluetooth speaker he has on the coffee table. You agree to, hopping off of the kitchen counter and making your way towards his living area to set up the speaker.
You flip through your phone, looking for a good playlist to put on, settling on one of your dinner party playlists. The speaker booms with the sounds of an old jazz standard, redone as an acoustic cover, and you turn the volume up a little as the water for the spaghetti comes to a boil. 
You spend time looking through Carmy’s bookshelf. It’s filled with thick-spined cookbooks from James Beard winning best restaurants and chefs. You drag your fingertips over the spine of a few classics, but settle on a fairly new book, written by someone at the New York Times. 
“Do you have any other books besides cookbooks?” you call out to him. 
He lets out a dry laugh and you take it as a no. 
You make your way back to your spot on the counter, sliding the open chip bag over, before hopping back up to your seat. You flip through the cookbook as Carmy stays busy with the pasta. 
It’s quiet moments like these that you’ve missed so much. Some days the two of you could talk for hours about sous vide vs reverse searing, and the right way to make a fucking bearnaisse sauce. Other days, Carmy wasn’t much for conversation, and you loved those ones equally. Sometimes, you just wanted company, so he’d come over and work on a recipe and you’d read while he worked in your kitchen.
You could just be together, and it was nice to feel that again. 
No awkward tension of things left unsaid. 
But there was a different kind of tension that seemed to linger between the two of you and you wondered if it had always been there. Had you just never noticed? Between the little comments from Richie about being out of his league, and Pete’s open-ended ‘not in front of his’ you wondered if everyone knew something you didn’t. 
“Which one’d you go with?” he asks, continuing his graceful dance around the kitchen. 
“Korean American. Eric Kim. I hadn’t had a chance to pick up a copy for myself yet, actually,” you answer, flipping through the first few pages.
Your met with quiet as you continue your story.
“You know we’re kind of friends. We went out for drinks a few times. Before I quit my job. Went dancing in the east village and stayed out till two in the morning bar hopping and gossiping about our mutual celebrity crush, Timothee Chalamet,” you add, your attention still fixed on the vibrant, colorful food photographs. 
“Timothee Chalamet, huh?” Carmy asks, amused.
Your attention isn’t on Carmy, or what he’s doing, save for the sounds of him moving around the kitchen. That is, until you look up to find him unceremoniously close to you, peering over onto the page you seem so fascinated with.
“Jesus Christ, Car!” you gasp, surprised by his close proximity. Your heart was beating faster as he took a step back.  “You scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry,” he mumbles, his head hanging as he takes a few steps back. “Didn’t mean to.”
“No, it’s okay!” you assure. But it’s too late, so you change the subject, deciding to finish your story. “Anyways uh… I had to hang out with someone after you left New York. Make some new friends.”
“We both know you’ve never struggled with that,” Carmy points out, eliciting a playful eye roll from you. 
He returns with the most aesthetically pleasing twirl of spaghetti carbonara. It’s so perfect you almost can’t fathom eating it. He hands it to you, then returns to his kitchen counter, plating a second bowl for himself.
After finishing the second twirl, he carelessly tosses his carving fork into the sink, opening another drawer to grab two forks for eating.
“Come on. You don’t want it to get cold,” he encourages, handing you one of the forks. 
He waits patiently for you to try it first, so you dig your fork in, creating a spaghetti twirl that hugs the fork, before raising it up to your lips. You open your mouth, taking a bite, before closing your eyes in absolute bliss.
“I can’t fucking stand you.”
He smiles, and it’s the biggest smile you’ve seen on his face this whole week. 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean. Fuck you. Like… absolutely fuck you.”
He laughs, finally picking up his own fork and digging into the second bowl he’s plate for himself. 
Holy fuck, is it out of this world.
“Like, do you think they’re such a thing as a talent aggression? Like a cute aggression, only I want to squeeze your head off because you’re so damn talented-kind of aggression?” you pitch your idea to him, playfully. 
He laughs, a blush spreading across his cheeks, “Uh… no. I don’t think so.” 
Carmy rests his back against the counter, as you eat together, side by side. You eat quietly, exchange looks and quiet giggles as the two of you finish your pasta, slurping up the cheesy, egg-yolk coated noodles. When you finish your bowl, you put it down on the counter next to you, throwing your head back with a sigh. 
“Thank you,” you say, fully satisfied as you feel the dopamine rush of eating carbs. 
“That good, huh?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his face. 
“So good,” you exhale happily, as you rest your head on his shoulder. “And you know it, you asshole.” 
He chuckles, turning his head towards you just as you lift your head off of his shoulder, your faces mere inches away from each other. You watch as his face turns a few shades darker, the blush across his cheeks running through his whole face. 
Are you two fucking idiots to pretend that you were just friends?
Yeah. Yes, you are.
“Sorry, I’m, I didn’t mean to um,” he stutters, beginning to pull away from you.
“Wait,” you call out, reaching out to stop him. You grab his arm. 
And there it is again… the tension. That thing that, even when you had talked it out, has remained between you two. He stops moving, his eyes fixated on your hand – the one that’s reached for him. The one that feels hot against his skin. 
“Carm, I-. Um, I’ve really missed…” you stammer through, trying not to sound as breathless as you feel. 
I’ve really missed you.
“... your carbonara.” He looks up at you with those beautifully sad, cerulean blue eyes, and if you weren’t breathless before, you certainly are now. 
“You should make this more often,” is all you manage to get out, and you know you sound helpless. 
He doesn’t know what to say back. That he can hear the ache in your voice – a yearning for him that he never imagined anyone could ever have for him. That it’d be world war three, trying to get a carbonara on the dinner menu. That screaming would ensue over a goddamn emulsion. That there’d be no way to pull this off authentically, and that he’d have to use heavy cream, and no fucking way would he compromise on that. 
On your favorite fucking dish. 
That he only has these ingredients on hand because he went out and bought them in preparation for your visit. 
That he only got them for you. 
Because he maybe only wants to make carbonara for you, and only you, for forever and ever. 
That he’s missed you too, and that wanting you is one of the scariest things he’s ever felt. 
His eyes flicker from your hand, the one still holding onto him, and then back to your face. He’s not sure what possesses him to do it, but he can hear his brother’s voice in his head, let it rip, pushing him to lean in – even closer towards you. You wrap your fingers around his arm, encouraging him closer to you – if it’s even possible. Your foreheads meet and it’s as if all the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. It’s like your vision narrows and the dimly lit apartment has faded away behind you. 
It’s just you and him. 
You feel dizzy – in the most delicious way possible.
You’re not sure who moves in first, but the tip of his nose is ever so gently bumping against yours. You brush the side of your nose against his, neither of you daring to take a breath. 
“Carm?”
He doesn’t answer, so you gently begin to leave a kiss against the corner of his mouth. 
“This okay?”
Then the side of his top lip. 
“Mhm,” he nods, eager to continue where this is going. 
Then you pull back, pulling him towards you so that, as you remain perched on top of his kitchen countertop, he fits perfectly between your knees. You lean in to kiss him, and this time, it’s not as hesitant… not as cautious as you’ve both been. 
No, these kisses are different, each one opening up the door to more and more – more want, more need, more lust – and as it blooms, as it blossoms, you feel Carmy’s hand move gingerly to cradle your face as you fall down the rabbit hole. Your fingers tangle into his blonde curls allowing your sheer want for him to consume you. It’s lips, and tangled tongues, and tentative, soft moans as you continue to pull each other closer and closer.
And you slowly begin to understand: the lingering tension, the avoidance of labeling you from his brother-in-law, why he’s been terrified to say a damn thing to you this entire week.
As much as you tried, and as much as he’s tried, neither of you had put that night behind you. 
Sure, it was shitty timing, and sure he wasn’t in the right headspace then. But now? 
Now, could be different, if you’d let it. 
Carmy pulls away from you, reluctantly, his face hot before asking, “You uh, you wanna take this somewhere else?”
His tone is hopeful, as if he’s the teenage dirtbag asking the prom queen out – like if you heard him, and you laughed in his face, he simply wouldn’t survive it. 
But your response is quite the opposite, and he feels silly for worrying, as you manage a breathy ‘yes’ going back in for one more kiss. He gives you some space to hop off the counter and you grab his hand, leading him towards his bedroom. It’s not a huge place, so you put two and two together about where that is. Carmy leaves the lights off in his bedroom, the only glimmer of light either of you can see comes from the living room lamps, and the kitchen overhead. 
With his hand in yours, you pull him towards you again, and he’s more than happy to let you lead. You begin to kiss him, taking note of how perfectly his top lip feels nestled in between yours. He follows you down to his bed, hesitant to put his full body weight on top of you. You giggle into the kiss, pulling him down to you. 
“I’m not a porcelain doll, Carm,” you tease, gently. 
You feel his lips twist into a smile against yours, as he begins to leave sloppier, wetter kisses down your neck. You allow him to explore as his hesitation lessens, his hands beginning to bunch up the hemline of your shirt. Higher and higher. And before you know it, you’re taking it off, impatiently throwing it somewhere you’ll barely remember in the light of day. You pull Carmy back down for another kiss, this time with a little more intensity, as he covers his body with yours, his hands and mouth exploring every inch of newly revealed skin that he possibly can. 
You’re not sure when his shirt joined yours on the floor but before it registers, you’re running your fingers across the muscles of his back, exploring each peak and valley. You hiss in pure pleasure as he pulls down one of the cups of your bra, his tongue running across one of your nipples. You can feel him smile against your skin, a well-won reaction from the pleasure he’s giving you. His other hand reaches up to give equal attention to your other breast, and moments later, you’re both impatiently pulling your bra off. 
“Wanna try something,” Carmy murmurs, his eyes meeting yours. 
You can feel the wet heat pooling between your legs as you breathe out, “Okay.”
The anticipation is building in your body and you feel like your head might explode. Carmy busies his mouth once again, leaving kisses down your torso as his hands begin to fiddle with the button on your jeans. You giggle, more than willing to help him out as he gets them undone, lifting your hips so that he can slide them off. 
He’s hesitant, and you’re trying your damnedest to be patient as he takes his sweet time to marvel at your almost-naked body. 
“So fucking perfect,” Carmy whispers, in between leaving wet, open mouthed kisses across your hip bones. You can hardly breathe, panting out loud as he continues his exploration. You make space for him between your legs as he slips his hands into your panties, dragging a finger up and down your dripping sex.
He checks in with you, gauging your reaction, and you nod as he continues what he’s doing. 
“This all for me?” he asks. He means for it to sound confident, but as the words leave him, he sounds more surprised than anything.
Before you can answer, he’s pushing your legs wider, his tongue gently running across your clit, causing you to cry out to the gods. He’s tentative at first, but it doesn’t take long for him to gather up the confidence to keep going, with the noises you’re making. At first it’s all tongue, licking, circling and flattening up against you, but you’re losing your mind as he adds his fingers back into the mix. His fingers are buried deep inside of you while his lips and tongue are bringing you far past your edge.
It’s as if the only words you can remember are his name, and ‘fuck.’ 
You feel his lips curl into a smile against you as he murmurs, “Just wanna make you feel good.”
You can feel it – your climax – building up, and Carmy groans, rutting his hips into the bed as he can no longer ignore how hard he is. 
“Carmy, yes. Don’t stop, please. I’m-,” you beg, your voice shaking.
And he has no intention of stopping till he gets what he wants – till he makes you cum. He works you through your orgasm, groaning against you as you cum on his tongue and around his fingers. You swear for a moment that you can’t hear a single thing as stars fill your vision. As you come to, it starts with only the sounds of the heavy pants that escape your mouth. Carmy sits up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. 
“Holy fuck,” you say, breathless. 
Carmy lays over you once again, kissing you, and you can taste yourself on his lips. 
Your hands fumble with the button on his jeans and you order, no patience left in a single cell of your body, “Off. These need to come off.”
He chuckles, hurrying through the removal of his jeans. You’re so eager to feel the weight of his body on top of yours again that you pull him back down to you before he’s even able to properly take them off. 
He’s kissing you again as you reach down, grabbing his hard length through his underwear. He’s thicker than you remember. You slip your hand into the waistband of his briefs, causing him to grunt. He hisses your name as you wrap your soft hand around his dick, bucking his hips into your hand. 
“Do you have a condom?” you ask, desperately. “I wanna feel you, Carm.”
“Mhm.”
He doesn’t keep condoms around. It’s not like this happens very often for him. But Richie had thrown a pack of condoms at his head the minute he found out that the friend that was coming to visit was a girl. Richie had teased him with some stupid quip like ‘don’t forget to wrap it up, cousin. No one wants a mini-eleven madison park dickhead running around here.’
He hadn’t expected this to happen. But it’s not like he’d thrown the condoms away either – tucking them into the single drawer of his nightstand. 
You wait as he reaches over and pulls out a condom from his nightstand. You want to ask him about why he has them, but as long as you get to feel him, you’re not sure you care. 
You’ve been here before with him, but this is different. He sits up on his knees and you follow him, pulling his briefs down properly and giving him time to roll on the condom. He follows you back down onto the bed as you wrap a leg around his waist so that he can fit perfectly between yours. 
He waits a beat, and then you feel his thick tip pushing against you, causing your breath to catch in your throat. He rubs the head up and down your slick core, before slowly beginning to push into you. 
You both gasp at the feel of each other. 
“Fuck. You’re so fuckin’ tight,” he moans, dropping his head into the crevice of your neck. He hopes you can’t tell how utterly helpless he feels.
You hiss at the way he’s stretching you open, the pads of your fingertips digging into his arms. You’re holding onto his arms for dear life as he fills you all the way to the hilt. You let out another moan as you as he stays there for a moment. 
“This okay?” 
You nod, pulling him down to kiss you again. You start moving your hips against his as Carmy gives you shallow thrusts. 
“Hold on,” he breathes out, holding your hips down for a moment. “Just-, just give me a second.” 
And you do, allowing him to collect himself, before he’s giving you shallow, gentle thrusts. 
But you’re in desperate need for more. 
“Carmy?”
“Yeah?”
“Fucking move.” 
Finally, finally, he pulls almost all the way out, before driving himself back into you, earning a cry from you as the pleasure is just too much. 
“Oh fuck!”
You want more. You want everything and all of him and so much more. And he gives it to you, continuing to check in that what he’s doing is okay. Before you know it, you’re begging him to go faster, harder, convincing him that you’re not fucking breakable and that you want more, grasping at the sheets and his biceps, and his curls –  anything you can hang on to as he’s bringing you over your edge again for the second time tonight. 
You’re crying out his name as you cum, and Carmy thinks it may be the sweetest, best thing he’s ever heard in his life. He fucks you through your climax, beginning to slow down the pace of this thrusts. He pauses, kisses you long and hard, passionately pausing just to be in this moment with you. 
“Carm?” you manage to get out. You wonder if he can hear how much you want him just by the sound of your voice. 
“Hm?”
“I wanna ride you,” you say, and you can feel that your words have gone straight to his dick as he twitches inside of you.
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah.” 
The two of you clumsily change positions – him on his back staring up at you in awe, like how the hell does that perfect, beautiful, creature want to be here with me now? You reach down, guiding him back inside of you and you’re both gasping at the contact. You begin grinding your hips against him, watching his eyes roll back as you make your movement a little bigger. 
“Jesus Christ,” he sighs out, the pleasure of it all taking over his brain. 
You know he won’t last much longer as you begin to ride him, rocking your hips back and forth. Carmy hands are on your hips, then running up and down your torso, grabbing your tits, and then they’re pulling you down to him for another passionate makeout as you continue your movements. You can feel his thrusts becoming more erratic as he starts thrusting up into you. You keep riding him, reaching for his hands and placing them along your hips. 
“Show me how you want it,” you whisper in between kisses. 
“I think this is nice,” he manages to say. 
“Show me how you want it, Carmen,” you demand, emphasizing your need for him with use of his full name. “Let me make you cum.” 
You squeeze his hands against your ass, egging him on, and he’s not sure what he’s done to deserve this. He holds onto your hips, before thrusting up into you, setting a bruising pace as your moans become louder and louder. You scream out his name, as he brings you closer and closer to your high, chasing his with him. 
He grunts, his thrusts becoming sloppier, messier, more desperate and you let him use your body in the most delicious ways. 
“Are you gonna cum?”
Instead of answering, he’s driving into you like a fucking mad man, and you’re riding him through his high till you both collapse. 
Carmy lets out a strangled moan as he cums, so you begin to slow your movements. You’re breathless, hunched over him, your foreheads touching as you exchange a laugh.
It's a kind of 'I can't believe we just did that' kind of laugh.
“Holy shit,” he says, shaking his head. 
“Yeah,” you agree, a stupid, blissed out smile on both of your faces.
“That was-.”
“Yeah.”
You get off of him, allowing him to get up and dispose of the condom. He’s not gone long before he returns to you, wrapping the both of you up in his sheets and into his arms. It feels unlike anything you’ve ever had. 
It feels… magnificent. 
“Stay with me tonight?” he asks, leaving a few soft kisses along your shoulder. 
“After that?” you giggle, as his lips against your neck begin to tickle. “You’re not getting rid of me, Berzatto. Not a fucking chance.”
read: part five
taglist: @lazypeachsoul @bookwormvoyageuse @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney
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literaila · 5 months
Note
PETER PARKER ANGST????❤️🫡🛬🤭😍🗣🙀🫡😀🫡🫶😀😟🫶😟❤️ (if you dont write it ill sob violently on the floor ☹️)
we could call it even
tasm!peter x fem!reader
summary:
"peter parker," she says, "you're like a legend around here."
warnings: unspecified angst, series, no fluff, no explanation
a/n: might i introduce a playlist entitled stupid boy which i listened to while writing this (and the other parts????)
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*
there's a specific time of night that is appropriate to go to the market. 
or inappropriate, depending on how old you are. 
if you're in your sixties and sometimes feel like your joints are just notches that need to be oiled, midnight probably isn't your designed time for grocery shopping. seven in the morning is typically the best time for swollen lungs and--literal--broken hearts. 
but if you're you, exhausted from running around all day, unpleasant from all of the people you've talked to, and trying to avoid anyone (everyone) you might know--and secrets you don't feel like sharing--then midnight is a perfect time. and perfectly normal, thank you very much.
you're not even sure why meyer's is open this late. there's no way the owner, jerry, is staying up until midnight to check out the lowlifes or drunk teenagers stopping by, and you know that these aren't prime business hours--evident by the crickets you can hear behind the 'fresh produce' section. maybe he forgets that it's open, and that susan--the only person willing to work here--is still on the clock. or maybe he's just taking pity on you. you don’t think he’s ever there, but maybe he hides around corners, noting the new lines on your face so he can report it back to every person in town. gossip is like a disease, and you’re never alone in a place like this. never quite at peace. 
you look around the next shelf for jerry, or a gust of wind that follows him running away. there’s only silence. the echoes of your footsteps. 
it doesn't matter why meyer’s is open. you're thankful for this time alone. or at least by yourself.
it's a welcome change to have no one judge you for your selection of deli cheese and baked goods. or the three containers of instant coffee you've hidden underneath it all. just out of habit. 
tuesday nights are yours, and the market is your chosen domain. 
usually, that is. usually, you're all alone. usually, you can run around on the carts and pick up anything you accidentally knock over. you can spill an entire bottle of wine on the floor and no one will blink an eye. jerry wouldn’t even be able to hear it from three feet away.
but tonight--on this tuesday when your feet hurt a little bit more than necessary, and your eyes are twitching at all of the lights--apparently you're not alone. 
which you wished you would have realized before you started humming 'single ladies' a bit too loudly. 
you wished you would have skipped shopping at all, really, as soon as you see his face. 
his wide eyes--surprised and silvered by age, much like yours--and his open mouth.
in a different world, you would be shocked--shocked instead of scared--and you might run to him. you might ask him why he didn't tell you he was coming? what is he doing here? in a different world, you two would be the only people in the market and it would be fine. 
it might even be great. 
this subtle shift in autonomy wouldn’t hurt the peace you’re looking for on this tuesday night.
there wouldn't be this obvious horror story standing between the two of you, this looming presence. the history of a thousand lies, bruise after bruise, and scars so red that they could burn through the ground. glass shattered around your feet.
the lights might as well start flickering. you should probably call out "hello?" even though he's right in front of you, and if he was going to murder you, he probably wouldn't answer. a door should creak. 
you should probably go. 
you should probably run away before he can take a step closer. you don't look a threat in the eye and smile at it. you don't feed a stray cat. 
it always comes back. 
why is he here? 
you take a step away. as soon as you notice him--behind, between, all over you--silence ensues. you might as well be at a loss for words. you don't have much to say to him. 
not to that look in his eyes, or his receding hairline, or that peak on his mouth. 
because peter would be here. at this time. and he would be trying to hide a smile, a smirk, when he's not even supposed to be within a five-hundred-foot vicinity of you. 
actually, maybe you forgot to mail that restraining order. 
but the words come out anyway because your body has always betrayed you when it comes to him. 
"peter?" you blurt out, and just saying the word stirs the simmering feeling inside of you. just saying his name is enough of a warning. 
"hey," he whispers and takes a step closer. you step back. he leans away like he knows his proximity is toxic. "sorry, i didn't mean to scare you." 
i didn't mean to. 
and yet. 
you breathe and forget how to blink. he might disappear. "peter," you repeat, as a form of masochism. you don't breathe at all. 
"sorry," he says, again. he doesn't say what for. there could be a million things. 
"um," you choke out, looking around--away from him and his manipulative eyes. "what?" you laugh to yourself, hand running over your face. you roll your eyes back into your head and laugh again. you shake your head. 
you look at peter, at his furrowed brow and inward stance, and you snort. look away from him before it's too late. 
you're laughing like something is funny. it's not. 
it's really not. 
"are you..." peter is swallowing. you'd like to pretend that his voice is hollow and cold, much like that cave inside your chest, but it's not. you recognize that concern, that softness in his voice that used to be just yours. "are you okay?" 
you almost giggle at him. it comes out as more of a cough. 
you wonder if you look like a ghost. some remanent of who you used to be--the person that only peter used to know.
"peter," you sigh, and step away from your cart. into the shelf you've been backing yourself into. 
you step away from him, still shaking your head. 
"i've got to--" you trip as you turn around and say to mostly yourself, "i've got to go." 
groceries, and peter, be damned, you think, as you walk out of the building and prepare yourself to never ever come back. 
it wouldn't be the first time. 
*
you are having your daily debate with mrs. brooke about the amount of calories in each pastry, in which you tell her that you only measure the amount of pleasure someone might get out of each one—which earns you a lovely sneer—and that she should try the blueberry scone. 
she always rolls her eyes at you, says something about watching her weight even though she’s looked the same since you were five years old and sneaking through her yard to catch the neighborhood cat. and then she leaves with a breakfast sandwich. 
it’s actually one of the most enjoyable parts of your day. 
here’s the thing about knowing every single person that comes into the shop: you know exactly what they’re going to order, and you know what type of conversation you’re going to have with them. 
mrs. brooke always stresses about her breakfast, her smile a tense sort of pleasant, but by the time she leaves her head is held a little higher. if she chooses the sandwich instead of the scone, then she’s started her day off right. you used to feel exasperated by her indecisive nature, but now you find it kind of adorable. 
mr. meyer—jerry—just comes in so he can complain about the surplus of options on your menu. he wants a black coffee, and he wants to complain. you always smile at him and ask if he’s sure he doesn’t want to try the raspberry green tea. he finds this less than humorous. 
every kid wants some kind of hot chocolate—which you actually have an excessive amount of—and no matter what their parents say, you sneak some extra marshmallows in. and everyone pretends otherwise. 
susan—your kindergarten teacher, now friend—asks if you’ve met anyone special lately. it doesn’t matter that the selection of single people your age is always the same. there’s got to be someone special, she says to you and leaves with a cider she tells everyone is a latte. 
there are the people who want their lattes and mochas, those who want some alternative milk that they complain about—even though you’ve tried every brand on earth—there are the people who don’t ever buy anything, and just come in to pretend they want something and talk to you. they gossip about the other people in town as if you aren’t well aware of everything that goes on.
you roll your eyes, but you appreciate the company. things get pretty boring when you can guess everyone’s schedule. 
but you like your tiny tea shop. you like the consistency. you enjoy the smiles you throw out, and the complaints you receive. it’s a routine, and nothing goes wrong. you're in control of this one thing, and that's just how you like it. 
in control, that is, of course, until you see him when mrs. brooke is walking away. 
“oh!” she says, pausing, her drink shaking in hand, her pink fingernails a smudge against the shadow suddenly coming from right in front of you. she is just a foot too close to him. “is that peter parker?” she asks, saying his voice like an omen, turning around so she can set her cup and bag down, and then hugging him so hard you can see her muscles working beneath her sleeve. 
“hey, mrs. brooke,” peter wheezes out, a strangled smile on his aged face. his same eyes.
he is just as surprised as you at her sudden outburst, the cooing noises she's making as she attempts to crumble him.
“look how handsome you’ve gotten! and so strong. what are those new yorkers doing with you?” 
“definitely not trying to squeeze me to death.” 
mrs. brooke laughs, somewhat vindictively, and she turns back around to look at you, with wide eyes. “did you know he was in town, dear? why didn’t you say anything? i almost had a heart attack.” 
peter clears his throat before you can throw any type of face on. any mask. “it’s a surprise,” he mock whispers, and his eyes dash to yours, then away, just as quick. “don’t tell anyone.” 
“it’s not like they’d believe me anyway,” she scoffs, “you’re a legend around here.” 
“i’m honored.” 
she laughs again, then grabs her cup. “oh,” she whispers, too loud. her eyes are tight, as if she’s intruded. “of course. i’ll leave and let you two talk.” 
and within a blink of an eye, she is running out of the shop, faster than you’ve ever seen anyone escape from here. 
and peter is there, standing in front of you. his face is smooth, calm, his eyes roaming over your face like he still has the privilege of knowing any of it. 
and your heart might be racing, if it was still there. 
"hi," he whispers. it is quiet enough for you to feel it in your chest. his voice and the memory of it. 
does he sound different? has he really changed that much in the last two years? is his face a bit worn? are his eyes a different color? 
but it doesn’t matter what rattles through your head—when you look at peter, you just see him. your peter. 
except that he’s completely different. 
you clear your throat, looking away and pushing off of the counter. “what can i get you?” 
peter blinks. “oh, um…” he looks at the menu above your head, back to you. “what—“ he swallows. “what would you recommend?” 
“it’s all good.” your voice is clipped. you should’ve said pure brewed black tea, no ice, no sweetener, no cup. just to get him out of here. you should've recommended the starbucks three towns over.
he swallows, again. a hand rakes through his hair. “i… just a sec.” 
there is a single second where you grant him the patience you would give every other customer—smile politely and let them know to ask if they have any questions. a single second where you treat him like anybody else. 
and then you say: “do you want a mocha, peter?” with an anger that shouldn’t—can’t—be contained inside of you. 
you wince at his name. the singe of his brand on you, going down your throat. 
peter seems to watch this on your face, because he’s even quieter when he answers, “sure, that’d be great.” 
at least some things haven’t changed.
so you grab a cup, writing his name on it, and move to grab the milk. 
you turn around and pretend like you’ve just forgotten he’s there. 
peter doesn’t take this hint. 
“so…” he says, his feet are loud as they tap on the ground. “you still work here, huh?” 
you barely grunt a response, spilling chocolate in the cup recklessly. if peter dies of a clogged artery it won’t be your fault. 
“that’s nice. felix always loved you. and you loved working here, back in highschool.” you have to face him as you steam the milk, and you try not to pointedly stare. not to roll your eyes or hiss at him. “it’s different though. the decor, i mean. but nice. i like it. did you do it?” 
“yes.” 
you grab his cup, pouring the milk and shoving the cap on it. “here,” your fingertips burn as you pass it to him, and you don’t think it’s because of the drink. 
“thank you.” 
you both stand there; peter blinks and doesn’t leave. 
he coughs. “i didn’t pay.”
“mrs. brooke would kill me if i made you pay for your first drink back home.” 
“well, she knows where you live,” his lip twitches, but he doesn’t laugh. 
and neither do you. 
“is it just you here?” he asks. “no felix?” 
“he sold me the shop a year ago.” 
his eyes widen. “oh. oh! that’s great. congrats.” 
“thank you.” 
you don’t move your eyes from his face, because it’s suddenly not fair that he’s here. that he’s allowed to intrude like this. 
“it’s good to see you,” peter relents, a fake smile playing on his lips. 
you falter. your heart turns in your chest, just so it doesn’t have to look at him anymore. “i’m working, okay?” you say, whispering. “i can't do this right now.” 
“right. yeah.” peter trips on a step back. his eyes are scanning your face again. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t—“ he blows out a breath. “i’m sorry.” 
you nod. watch the ground as he stumbles over it. 
“i mean it though,” he adds, like he hadn’t thought about it. “it’s good to see you.” 
and then peter swallows. you blink at him. 
when he turns around the bell rings as he pushes it. and peter doesn’t look back. 
he’s right about one thing, at least. it is nostalgic. 
*
"when were you going to tell me?" your mom asks, leaning against her kitchen counter--the same one you scribbled on as a kid, smiley faces still apparent. she's doing that fake smile thing. the one that makes you want to storm off and slam the door like some mistreated teenager. 
you don't, but both of you know that you think about it. for at least five seconds
"tell you what?" you ask, instead, setting the groceries you brought for her on the counter. 
"about peter." 
your eyes close. he would follow you around, wherever you go. he's probably hiding in some vent, smiling maliciously. 
there's that teasing voice in your head saying small town, small small town, but you just turn around, ignoring it, and her, and raise a brow. "peter parker?" you repeat, rhetorically. "twenty-six, new york. brown hair, brown eyes. lived here his whole life, has an aunt who lives next door, tried to steal our cat when he was nine..." you drawl off, making a point to smile. "ringing any bells?" 
she throws a dish towel at you. "you know thats not what i meant." 
"do i?" 
you wipe the counter with the towel, then fold it nicely on the counter, all the while avoiding your mother's eyes. 
but you know she won't leave it alone. the same way she hasnt left you alone once in the past four years, like she can dig your feelings up from whatever grave you buried them in.
there's a part of you that wants to crawl over to her and ask her to make you some hot chocolate, to watch some childrens movie on the couch with you. you want to be the little kid who would've depended on that knowing glance she's still giving you. the little kid who idolized her and wasn't afraid to admit the truth--even if you did steal that chocolate bar from under her sink.
but you're grown, and this doesn't matter. not in the long run, anyway. 
you look up, expectant eyes. she has your same eyes, and meets them.
"linda told nancy, who told jerry, who told me over the phone..." she shakes her head. "but may was here earlier." 
"yeah? how is she?" 
"good, busy, i'm guessing, because you know how she dotes over him." 
"yeah..." 
you fold the towel again, running your fingertips over the embrodered flowers. 
"have you seen him?" 
you swallow, and nod absentmindedly. you're not going to tell her about the grocery store. "yeah, he came into the shop yesterday." 
she taps your hand, and you let go of the rag. she hangs it back over the oven, the ebbing silence more like a threat, her hands falling to her hips. "why didn't you say anything?" 
"it's not a big deal. he came in, ordered, and then left." 
"and there were no words between the two of you?" she prods. "no wandering eyes? you just read his mind instead of taking his order?" 
you grit your teeth, rolling your eyes. "he asked for a mocha and i made it for him." 
"nothing else?" 
"he said it was nice to see me." 
she waves a hand at you. 
"and i said that i was working." you sigh, leaning against the counter. "that's all." 
"you're not freaking out?" your mom ducks her head so she can meet your eyes. her face is sullen, but her smile is genuine. 
it's like talking to a counselor. 
"why would i be freaking out? he had to come back sometime." 
she scoffs. the little necklace your dad gave her dangles from her neck, and you watch it. "i don't know," she says, using the same voice you do when she tells you not to take a tone with her. "maybe because you havent spoken to him in the last three years?" 
yeah, the same voice says, rough and patronizing, you haven't spoken to him in five years. why is that, again? 
but you snort at your mom, a defensive smile making its way to your lips as you look at her. "water under the bridge," you say, dismissing it. 
you don't want to talk about this with her. you don't want to talk about this with anyone. 
because the only person who might actually understand is the same person who left three years ago. who came back with no warning at all. 
"did may say when he got here?" you ask, voice escaping before you can stop it. 
"just a day or two ago, i think. why?" 
"is he here for the holidays?" 
"yes. she said he plans to stay until at least january. he's between jobs, i guess." 
"oh." you smack your lips and move away from her, back to the groceries, which is the reason you're here in the first place. you take out the milk jug, walking to the fridge, but a soft hand stops you. 
your mom is smiling when you turn towards her. "you don't have to talk about it," she's saying, her voice smooth and comforting. "i don't--i don't know what happened between the two of you. i just mentioned it because may said he was talking about you. it..." she drops off, wincing. 
"what?" 
"it might be good to talk to him. put the water under the bridge." 
you roll your eyes, nose twitching. you don't need to say anything, you won't. your mother is just another town gossip, and her opinion has no sway over you. 
even ask the words sink in. 
"now put the rest of those away," she says, ruffling your hair, "i know what happens when you take your 'breaks.'" 
you push her and put the milk in the fridge. 
*
you're mopping the floor when the bell rings, and a cold brush of air trails goosebumps up your skin. 
it's late enough in the season to no longer smell like the leaves falling onto the ground, or the grandesur pine needles showing off their lifespan. it's cold in the shop now, and you have three coats in the back. 
but the person who walks in is only wearing one. one you recognize from several years ago, with the holes in the sleeves from when he jumped over your fence and sprained his ankle. the stain on the front when may threw a plum soaked rag at him and you'd laughed so hard that you'd fallen to your knees on the floor and couldn't breathe. 
peter's face is wain. his eyes are cautious as they meet yours. 
you're not used to anyone coming in at 5:55. everyone knows you close at six, and the few people who'd dared to come in and order a drink a minute before you flipped your sign have learned their lesson. 
but peter hasn't learned anything. 
"i know," he says, like tracking your mind. "you close at six. may told me." 
"okay." 
you're still holding the mop, sure that his footprints would leave mud all over your floors. 
"i don't want to buy anything. or--" he breathes out, hands wringing at his sides, probably from the cold. "i will. if you want me to. but that's not why i came. i wanted to see if you..." 
he does a sweep over you, and his words fall in the air, as if he's just realized something. 
you look down at the snowflake apron your mom bought last year. it's not that dirty. 
you look back up, brows furrowed, and peter's expression matches yours. "yes?" you prod, feeling that anger simmer in the core of your chest. but you've been rude enough to him. 
your mom's words ring out in your head. 
it might be good to talk to him. 
peter swallows, whatever emotion on his face fading. "i wanted to see if you would go to dinner with me. or take a walk. or--or i'll buy you groceries, since you left yours the other night. it doesn't matter. i just want to... talk to you." 
"you want to talk to me?" 
peter nods. "i can wait outside, while you finish." he waves a hand, like an explanation. "it doesn't have to be long. just five minutes?" 
you watch peter, his face a world of feeling that you can't recognize anymore. 
and maybe that hurts the most. not him being here, not the distance or the time you've let edge you apart, but the fact that it's changed things. peter has changed and you've just let that happen. he's got a life seperate from you and there's no one to blame. he'd reached out enough, initially. months of letting his calls go to voicemail and ignoring may when you saw her in the street. 
putting yourself back together in the misshaped way you are now. peter probably doesn't even recognize you--not like this.
maybe it's your fault. 
but you find yourself nodding anyway, ignoring the guilt seeping through the cracks of you. you nod, and peter's face changes. 
it's not the first time you've noticed his eyes, or watched relief ease into him, but it's just the same. 
"yes?" peter asks, his voice rough and dry. you look at that jacket again. 
"where's your coat?" 
"my..." peter looks down with you. "oh, my coat. all of the ones aunt may kept were too small, and i thought--" he scratches his neck. "well, i forgot how cold it gets." 
you nod, slowly. 
peter nods back. 
you stare at him a moment longer, and then break away from his unfamiliar gaze. 
"just give me five minutes. i just need to put this away, and grab my stuff, and..." you swallow. 
"okay. great. do you want to me wait outside, or should i?" he gestures around, looking as uncomfortable as you've ever seen him. 
"you can sit. just--don't get any dirt on the tablebases." 
"okay. thank you." 
you nod, one last time, and look away from him. 
your heart runs circles around peter as he sits at one of your tables, his long legs not fitting beneath it. it taunts you again and again as you try not to notice him breathing, try to ignore him completely. 
you dup the mop water, spilling it on your shoes. you wipe down the last counter, the syrup sticking to your hands like a scar. you walk around the shop trying to find something else to do so you can avoid this as long as possible. your feet are cold and your hands feel abnormally dry. maybe you need to go home and shower. maybe you shouldn't be doing this at all. 
you sit in the office for a moment, wishing you could watch peter without him knowing. scope him out before you hear what he has to say. 
and--
okay, maybe there's a part of you that's been waiting three years for this. 
that dream where he's there even though you don't want him; that moment when he apologizes and you forgive him automatically, because your heart has always been small and fragile around him; that fantasy where peter comes home and he's the same teenager you used to walk around town with at two in the morning, the same brown eyes laughing as you both slipped on ice and fell on top of eachother. 
you won't deny that you've thought about this before. what you might say to him if you got the chance. 
but as you grab your bag and hang your apron around the chair in the office, the words have gone some place else. what could you say to him to make any of this make sense? 
still, you clear your throat when you walk out, feet aching from standing all day. you blink at him as he struggles to get up, pushing your chair in, the legs scratching on the floor the only sound between the two of you. 
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potatomountain · 2 months
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CIY- 8
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Chapter Eight
📍pairing: detective ateez ot8 x detective afab reader
📍word count: 3.3k
📍network: @pirateeznet
📍Warnings: mentions of mxm relationships.
📍Beta readers (and sole motivation): @flurrys-creativity , @candypop1611 , @yourfatherlucifer, @yessa-vie and @daesukiii
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Before you knew it, a week had flown by and a routine was formed. Mornings were spent going to your deli and getting your coffee, where you started picking up San's as well. You weren't sure if you should grab it today since he informed you on Thursday that he had to go undercover for the weekend. 
You hadn't seen Yunho or Mingi until Friday, which you expected when you heard Mingi the night before loud and clear. Of course, you bitched at him when you saw him, surprised by how easy the banter that followed and the insults. The same thing happened Saturday and even last night you had heard him. It was getting annoying, even if you had ways to block out most of the sound, you didn't like how it made you feel.
San didn't make it any easier, casually flirting with you, laying on the charm and compliments whenever he could just to leave you flustered but he was respectful about his timing. All week until he had left, leaving you frustrated in a whole new way with his absence. The fact you missed him during the weekend left a bad taste in your mouth, you didn't want to get attached. This position was temporary at best, the unlikelihood of it being permanent better than at first but still slim.
Two weeks didn't make you part of the team after all. Even if you had a growing routine and the reception was less icy, you knew that.
Getting your hopes up was a bad idea, yet here you were, standing in line at the deli for the coffee and breakfast you got almost every morning. You debated on getting San's coffee, since he said he should be there today. Would he be beaten up like last time? The bruises and cuts had barely healed before he went off and you had to admit you were a little worried.
That might be because of your old unit. Hyunjin would complain if he had a cut on his pretty face and Jisung couldn't handle a cold. Neither could Binnie, with both Felix and Minho mothering whenever anyone was injured or feeling sick. Then there was Chan- 
Sighing, you shook your head, not ready to go down that road just yet. Today was the last day of your probation and you still weren't ready to talk to him or half of them- Hyunjin had been the exception because, well, he was Hyunjin. And he didn't give you the option to be ready, he insisted on being a part of your life as if nothing had happened: which you truthfully appreciated.
“Why’s such a pretty thing like you sighing? The week just started.” A voice behind you garnered your attention, so you turned to look. A pretty attractive man widened his smile, which surprised you wasn’t sleazy in the least; despite his outfit screaming a typical sleazy man. The animal print button-up, sunglasses pushing his dual-toned hair back, and the hint of a tongue stud as he licked his lips- normally it would have you sneering but on him it looked damned good. Maybe it was the eyeliner?
Either way, he was hot, and he called you pretty. “Mm no particular reason, maybe I’m just not feeling up to work today?” You offered a smile, deciding to take it a step further. “Definitely don’t want to now, not when my day just got more interesting.” 
You were glad that his charming smile turned more flirty, even more so when he stepped up next to you. “I’d have to agree, not really in a hurry for my coffee now. You are much more refreshing, pretty girl.”
“Already onto pet names? Before I get your name?” You couldn’t help but tease.
He chuckled, holding out his hand. “Friends call me Mito. Nice to meet you-” Once you gave your name, he hummed thoughtfully. “Pretty name for a pretty girl. Gotta say I think I’d remember seeing such a beauty around here. New job brings you this way?”
You didn’t regret your words when he was looking at you like that, as if you were the best damned meal he ever saw and he couldn’t wait to get a taste. Hell, you were ready to let him have it. Maybe it was because he was the first in a while that had flirted with you? That was a lie, there were plenty. You just had your eyes set on someone else before… now just about anyone was up for grabs.
You nodded slowly. “Yeah, I recently moved to the area too. Do you come here often? To this cafe?”
“A friend of mine told me to check it out, I usually go to another one about a block away.” He hummed out, stepping with you as the line moved. “But if you’re here, that’s plenty of reason to make this a regular stop.”
“Or you could just ask for my number?” The words were out before you could even stop yourself, fighting off the heat that flooded your cheeks. Were you that touch-starved that you would be so bold with a man you just met? Who didn’t even give you his real name, just a nickname?
Did that make you easy? Should you be ashamed? Maybe, but it really had been so damned long and it wasn’t like you were going to pull your clothes off for him right now.
“Then how about your number first? And I buy your coffee?” He finally offered once he pulled his eyes back to yours.
No harm in at least seeing where this goes right? “I’ll put my number in for you.” Holding out your hand, you couldn’t help but be a little giddy when he handed you his phone, contacts already open. Few seconds later and you sent yourself a text from his, handing it back just in time for the both of you to step up to the counter to order.
He rattled off four different drinks, while you rattled off two- one of them the same as one of his. You thought it was interesting, San having a common order. “Drinks for friends?”
“Co-workers. What about your extra?” Mito countered, a cheeky grin on his lips as the two of you stepped aside to wait.
“Co-worker.” One that definitely got to you in a way a co-worker shouldn’t… you could blame your sudden boldness on him. Yeah, this was all their fault. San with all his flirting and teasing and Mingi with his constant annoyance and sex sounds the past few nights.
You tried not to show how heated that train of thought made you, nor did you want to admit it any further than that.
“Mm well they’re lucky to get a coffee on me.” He winked, not at all bothered to have bought it.
“I’ll let him know the hottie at the coffee shop hopes he enjoys his coffee.” Laughing, you relaxed against the counter next to him, the two of you sharing a flirty glance. “I also appreciate it, it definitely makes my day better.”
He shrugged. “My absolute pleasure dear, I can always make your day better in other ways too. Help you relax at the end of a long day of work.”
Now that sounded really tempting. Before you could further flirt, your drinks were announced. “Well, that’s our cue, I really needed to get to work anyways.” You didn’t think they would care, but if San was there you did want to get him his coffee and check up on him. “Call me?” 
You wanted to tell someone about the hottie at the cafe… was it too soon to text Hyunjin about it? Would San listen? You grimaced at that idea. Sure, tell one man you wanted to bone about a complete stranger that was much more likely to get into your pants and fast.
“Oh definitely. Good luck, beautiful.” He sent a wink in your direction before he turned to start grabbing a few of the good sugars and things. You didn’t stick around to see what he did with them.
It wasn’t until you were halfway down the street that you realized you had forgotten your usual breakfast; instead of turning around to go grab it, maybe giving you a chance to see him again, you shrugged it off. Just meant a bigger lunch or you could always order something.
Such an amazing idea for sure.
Sighing as you headed into the office, you could hear the voices in the back, but you weren’t in a rush to see them just yet. You took your time setting your bag down and your laptop before grabbing San’s coffee to see if he was back.
You might have gotten a little too excited to hear his laugh when you approached the office door, only for it to drain away when you did see him. “Fuck that looks bad.”
“I’m so touched, sweetcheeks.” He had fully taken the pet name from Hyunjin and made it his own- considering how it still managed to fluster you a bit even if you were rolling your eyes at him.
San glanced up when you hissed out, brightening up despite his black eye and arm in a sling. “I’ve missed that beautiful face.” With a dimpled grin he slid off the desk to make his way over to you, stopping only because of the glare you gave him. “What? It’s not as bad as it looks!”
Rolling your eyes you approached. “Sure it isn’t, that sling is just for show. Sit your ass down, I brought you coffee.”
“Aw, but you didn’t know I was going to be here today-”
“Can you two not with the damned couple bullshit?” Jongho sneered from his desk, currently cleaning his weapon. “If it’s not you two flirting up a fucking storm, she’s at Mingi’s throat and I can’t ever tell if they are gunna fuck or fight… or both.”
Yunho laughed from his spot, nudging his friend next to him. “Well that would be great to see regardless. Think you would come out on top?”
Mingi scoffed. “Of course I would, that tiny thing couldn’t handle me. All bark, no bite, like a damned chihuahua.”
“Chihuahua’s bite.” Yunho pointed out with a grin. “And I think this little pet would claw and do some damage. Might be hot as hell though.”
Jongho gagged, pointing his empty mag at the two. “Truth be told my money is on the chihuahua, we forget Mingi is scared of dogs that bite.”
You ignored their banter for the most part, considering it was becoming a daily thing for you, and instead made San sit at his desk while he was watching you with an expression that was almost sweet. “I was hoping you would be, sue me if that makes me soft but at the moment, you are the only thing keeping me from putting a bullet in half the idiot's heads here.” You matched his grin, taking his coffee over to the little coffee station to look for the sugars he liked.
There was a loud bang from a door down the hall, what you recognized as the back entrance, but you ignored it until an unfamiliar- or perhaps somewhat familiar- voice rang in through the office.
Only to freeze.
“I’m back, bitches!!” In a high-pitched singsong tone, a new person stepped into the office. Curious, and suspecting this to be the final detective of the unit you hadn’t met, you glanced over your shoulder.
The gaudy shirt gave him away immediately, the man from the cafe setting the coffee’s on the unused desk as he began talking a mile a minute. “Sannie my man, looking better from the fight already. Got us quite a bit of rep this time around and what better way to celebrate than with a great fucking pussy? Seriously met the hottest fucking broad getting coffee, had no idea such a beauty would be around here but like fuck- got her number.” He giggled like a schoolgirl, bringing a coffee over to San.
San grinned up at him. “You do seem to work fast but I’ll pass on the coffee. Got one already.” He motioned over towards you, Mito turning to finally notice your presence.
Seriously, what was with you and wanting to fuck your coworkers?
“How’d you get one- OH!” It was with great amusement, and perhaps dismay, that he dropped the hot beverage when he realized you were right there in the room. San was quick, catching it mid-air and cursing as he set it aside. “Holy fuck what is my luck today? This is that new job huh?”
Now you weren’t so sure you would take him up on his offer of after-work pleasure; not that you didn’t find him attractive just that you were attempting to draw a line. The whole reason you really hadn’t taken it past flirting with San; he was a co-worker.
“Hi there again, Mito. I take it you would be the famed Jung Wooyoung?” With a light laugh, you waved, attempting civility.
“You two know each other?” Mingi grumbled, leaning in as if this was juicy gossip. He wasn’t the only one, even Jongho had stopped cleaning the barrel of his gun to glance at the still-shocked detective.
Wooyoung recovered quickly, cheeky grin back. “The hottie whose number I got- was hers. Mmm, I get to see you in the office too? Damn- wait, how the fuck had no one told me we have a drop dead gorgeous Goddess as part of our unit now?” He swiveled on the others.
“Didn’t think it was relevant.” San bristled, glancing over at you and the coffee you brought. “Plus you were undercover.”
“Undercover?” Wooyoung asked in obvious confusion. “She doesn’t know how we do things does she?”
Something about the way he said it piqued your interest. You already questioned some things they did here, writing it off as part of the job and necessary: Like Mingi’s constant fucking, how bad the fights were with San, and how deep of an undercover this new detective had to be to have the same influence as Hwon- a known freelancer in the underbelly of the city. That seemed like a pretty solid reputation that would require some years, and better product than just one fighter to get.
You couldn’t help but scoff. “They set the bar pretty low, I'm sure you’ll be fine. Already making a better impression than most of them in the full two weeks I’ve been here.” You shrugged off his advances, turning to finish making San’s coffee which you just now realized you knew by heart… after barely a week.
So why did he act as if being undercover was news to him?
Before you could question him, Captain came in with Seonghwa right behind him. “She’s still in a trial run Wooyo, calm yourself. We were also waiting until you got back to see about field work…” The look he shared with his vice didn’t go unnoticed, not when you were on edge, observing every little tick between the seven of them.
“Oh so she gets to work with me now? Fucking sweet.” Cheering a little, he turned back to you with a wide grin. “So beautiful, I know I can’t compare to some of these fine gentlemen but I promise to treat you good- in the field and out of it.” With a wink he made his way over to you, more flirtatious than he had been back at the cafe. Which would have been nice if you weren’t actively fighting off attraction now.
Fuck.
Wooyoung whistled next to you. “Man were they that disappointing in bed? Wow their game must have dropped considerably. I can make it better for ya.”
Mingi and Yunho both looked up at his comment, stopping the little conversation they were having, just as you glanced up at him. “If you’re implying I slept with any of them, no. Aside from mostly San, they were more ready to kick my ass to the curb.”
You took a second to glance around the room, noticing that Yeosang had joined in and was grabbing a coffee from the few that Wooyoung brought. Seonghwa looked much more stressed than normal and even Hongjoong seemed a little ticked off, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Jongho had gone back to cleaning his gun but there was an ever present smirk on his face while Yunho seemed to be enjoying the chaos unfolding. Mingi’s reaction struck you as the oddest, as he almost appeared as panicked as San did.
“WHAT?!” The holy shriek he let out had you flinching, but he was already turning to the others. “You are telling me that you have been gazing on this fine fucking beauty for two whole fucking weeks and none of you have even gotten a taste? Shameful. All of you are absolutely shameful.” He tsked dramatically, taking in the view as you brought San his coffee. “Not even you Sannie?”
“Not all of us think with our dicks-”
“Mingi does- Fuck not even Mingi fucking Malik had a taste? Ya’ll trippin. Where does she even sit? Was she at my desk? Please say yes-”
“Receptionist.” Seonghwa finally stepped into the conversation, fixing Wooyoung with a glare while Hongjoong was giggling under his breath behind him. “Wooyoung, can you please quiet it? It’s Monday-”
He was broken off by Wooyoung’s flabbergasted gasp. “Up front alone? Damn they really gave you the cold shoulder. It’s okay, beautiful, Wooyoung is here now. Need a nice warm seat, my face is available- or dick. Wouldn’t mind being a step stool either.”
It seemed he would have ranted more if San hadn’t ignored the coffee in your hand to reach out and grab the man’s jaw instead, squeezing it still. “Wooyoung- stop. Fucking stop. Do you think it’s nice to be talking about how you want to fuck our new addition to the unit in front of her?”
“No-” Wooyoung got out through the grip, glancing over at you as you watched with a lifted brow. “I really don’t get why you haven’t- yall fuck around a lot. And she’s beautiful.”
His constant praise was a bit touching, and a few things he said had been very tempting, but you were determined to keep it professional. “I don’t want to sleep with my unit members anyways.”
“Why not?”
“Complicates the job.” You admitted, finding yourself much more calmer despite the turn this morning had taken. Back to square one really.
Wooyoung scoffed, pulling out of San’s grip to look you right in the eye. “Can’t imagine how- or are you unaware that half the time we are on each other’s dicks? I mean Captain’s office is locked half the time because his pants are down and he’s having a grand ol’ time with-” His mouth was quickly covered by San who appeared panicked.
What the fuck were you missing?
“So what, you all fuck each other? In the office too?” You looked around for clarification but the only one who would look at you was Yunho and he just smirked wider.
San seemed even more panicked, glaring at Wooyoung only to be pushed back down on the desk. With his arm in the bind, he fell back. “See for yourself, beautiful.”
Out of all the things that you could expect, watching the new detective lock lips with San was definitely not on the list. Your mouth dropped open, eyes going wide as you tried to comprehend just what you were seeing.
You didn’t have time to process at all, Hongjoong calling out your name before he grabbed your arm and pulled you to your office. The only thought in your head was why were you getting pulled into the office?
Seriously… what the fuck.
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sirfrogsworth · 7 months
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FFFF: Froggie's Fuckin' Fancy Foray
In a previous post I was debating whether I should go to the Sam's near me, which requires a short 11 minute drive, but the path to get there is quite stressful due to traffic and construction and frustrating detours onto narrow side streets.
There was even a time when a bunch of signs got knocked over or removed and I accidentally went down an unfinished road that dead-ended into a pile of rocks. That was a fun moment. Especially when people stared at me as I did some improvised off-roading to get turned around.
Like I said... STRESSFUL.
Or I could head the other direction across the river into Illinois.
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A scenic 22 minute drive with empty highways to a much nicer Sam's. The extra 20 minutes of total drive time is a lot, especially after all the walking required to collect my groceries. And I feared it would test my energy limits, since I had to go to Sam's and Schnucks to get all of the groceries I needed. Sam's is great, but sometimes I just don't need seven dozen of something.
I was having a decent energy day, so the scenic route won.
My plan was to go to Sam's for the bulk of my groceries and then drive all the way back across the river, past my house, and go to the Schnucks that stocks my favorite new fancy Fitz's soda. Which would add another 30 minutes of driving. Though I figured if I wasn't feeling up to it, I could go to Schnucks another day.
But as I stood in the Sam's parking lot holding a five dollar rotisserie chicken, an idea struck me... "Maybe there is a Schnucks near here."
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I opened Maps and to my dismay, there was a Schnucks just down the street and for three entire years I never thought to check.
Literally half a mile down the street.
I think we are all familiar with the concept of chain stores varying in quality depending on the area they are located.
There is a Schnucks only 1.2 miles from my home. It is what I would call "tolerable."
Let's deem this location "TS" for Tolerable Schnucks.
TS is clean and has all of the essentials but they try to shove ten pounds of Schnucks into a five pound bag. It is cramped and poorly stocked and the lighting is somehow extra florescent.
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They managed to squeeze in a decent deli, but that is where the niceties end. They usually have one register open even if the checkout line wraps around the dairy section. I have yet to find a less busy time to go. It's always filled to the brim with people—morning, noon, and night.
And, frustratingly, they rarely stock my new botique soda obsession, Fitz's.
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I allow myself one occasional sugary treat to manage the cravings and I never know if they are going to have it.
However, if I travel an extra 15 minutes then I can upgrade to the Schnucks I would call "nice." So we'll go with "NS" for Nice Schnucks.
Weirdly the NS is near the "tolerable" Sam's (no acronym because that would be confusing with Tolerable Schnucks (TS)). They are only 3 minutes apart but the store quality difference is pretty drastic. If I have the energy, I will try to stop at both places in one trip since they are so near each other.
NS is a much bigger store than TS and they even have a bigger selection to go with that extra space. I have to get my fancy soda there because I guess TS figured "let's just fill the aisle with Diet Coke and nothing else." NS has a much bigger deli and full bakery and a fish person and even a quaint little floral department. They usually have multiple registers open and they stay open past 8pm so you can go when it isn't busy. The lighting is a little better, they keep things in stock, and they even have half-sized shopping carts that are easier to push if you only need a few things.
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I thought that was the gold standard for Schnucks.
As nice as it gets.
But then I discovered this new Schnucks near the Nice Sam's and that assertion was about to be shattered.
Let me introduce you to the FFS.
The Fuckin' Fancy Schnucks.
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The first thing you notice at the FFS is the front has well-maintained landscaping. Like, proper shrubbery.
That's fuckin' fancy.
The second you enter the store you are greeted with a fully staffed floral department.
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It felt like if Valentine's Day could manifest a jungle. Brightly colored flowers everywhere surrounded by mylar balloons wishing people happy whatevers.
Then I turned the corner to see the biggest Schnucks of my life. With one entire side of the store dedicated to bespoke food items.
They got a deli. They got a bakery. They got a fish person. They got another fish person who just makes sushi all day.
They have an entire wall of prepared food items made at the store daily. Sandwiches and salads and pastas and full chickens. They even make their own frozen pizzas.
And then I noticed... the Meat Masters.
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They have their own damned butcher on staff!
I found myself just going up and down all of the aisles and discovering new things the other Schnuckses never stock. The soup aisle was ridiculous. I was getting pretty tired and I was paralyzed by too many choices. So I decided to just get my normal boring soups and come back another time to explore the Fancy Soup Section.
The FSS at the FFS, if you will.
And the lighting was just so much more pleasant. It didn't feel like a 90s office building.
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And look at that flooring. Did they hire an interior designer?
TS & NS just have generic square tiles.
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I mean, I guess making some of them blue is something. But even the ceiling is drab comparatively.
And look at the TS Zapp's display compared to the displays at FFS.
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I will say, TS takes much better care of their robot friend. FFS stuck their robot in a very undignified location.
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This Roomba with a giant erection spends all day counting stuff and they stick him next to the men's room? Let him hang out with the Meat Masters or the fish people.
This is how a robot uprising starts.
The soda aisle was at the end of the store so I arrived there last. I was nervous they might not have my beloved bottled soda pop. Not only did they have it, but they also had 4 other flavors I didn't even know existed.
I guess you could say the FFS had an FFFS! (Fuckin' Fancy Fitz's Section)
I got that same feeling when you unlock bonus items in a video game. I don't know what the difference is between cream soda and "cardinal" cream soda... but I'm gonna find out!
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Update from Future Froggie: It's fuckin' tasty!
So...
Future Froggie approves of Fuckin' Tasty Fitz's Soda from the Fuckin' Fancy Fitz's Section at the Fuckin' Fancy Schnucks and is sad Nice Schnucks and Tolerable Schnucks Failed Future Froggie with their Lacking Fancy Fitz's Soda Section.
Or...
FF approves of FTFS from the FFFS at the FFS and is sad NS & TS FFF with their LFFSS.
Got all that?
I loaded up the FTFS and my frozen pizzas and my non-fancy soups and headed over to the registers. They had 3 lanes open despite hardly anyone shopping at the time. I didn't have to wait in the dairy section for 25 minutes. So I justified that extra drive time and then some. Because standing in line is harder than sitting and driving.
So I guess I answered my question about which path to choose. If only I had known about the FFS earlier I would have forgone NS and Tolerable Sam's and just drove the extra 20 minutes across the Mississippi River to and from MO & IL.
On the one hand, it is kind of depressing that just like public schools, property taxes dictate the quality of vital stores in our communities. I mean, these are stores run by the same company. I know the physical property can necessitate some variation due to size and configuration differences. But it's clear they are pumping a lot more resources into the FFS. Not just more cashiers with a bagger on every lane, but actual experts in flowers and fish and baking and deli.
And who knows how much a MoM costs. (Master of Meat)
On the other hand...
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We live in a society and can't fix capitalism overnight and all that.
I need my FTFS and FSS at the FFS, okay?
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apomaro-mellow · 1 year
Text
okay yall convinced me to continue this
Eddie looked around and all he saw was black. Was this what death was like? He expected more people. But maybe death was just solitude. Then all of a sudden he wasn't alone.
He jumped back when he came face to face with, himself.
"What the fuck?"
His mirror image looked back and smirked. Then looked down at his hands.
"Finally."
"What the hell is going on here? Where am I? W-we?"
"Vecna is putting us back together. We can see everyone again soon."
"You mean...I'm not dead?"
"Oh we're very much alive. In fact, I'd say we're better than before."
As his mirror said that, Eddie felt a new energy thrumming in his veins.
"Why? Why would Vecna do this, I was tryina kill that bastard!"
"He wants something in return. To use us against them."
"Like hell that's gonna happen. I-"
"Didn't let myself get chomped on just so I could be used by an actual murderer."
"How did you-"
"Is it not obvious? I'm still you. But I'm the parts he wants to use. The part that's afraid of Vecna. Afraid of the world for seeing us for what we are. And angry at our lot in life. And ashamed for how we feel."
Eddie didn't respond. It was all a lot to take in. When his other self mentioned shame for feeling something, a certain face popped into his head.
"We're going to see him again. And this time, I'm going to take what I want."
"You put a hand on him and-" Eddie stopped himself. Not only did he feel pretty powerless here, he was never that good at restraining his own actions. "You touch him and he'll kick your ass."
---------------------
After his little stunt, Eddie/Kas found themselves tied up again, this time in Steve's garage. And this time with chains (duct tape boys? really?). Nancy also made sure his legs were chained to the chair and had a shotgun trained on him the whole time they talked.
"We're all sure he's real?", she asked, nudging his cheek with her barrel. She was the only one here to actually experience Vecna's illusions besides Max. She knew how convincing they could be.
"He's real", Jonathan said, a lighter ready just in case. "Steve and the others said so."
Nancy rifled through all the information she got when she received the code red. Something that looked like Eddie had returned. But it was very obviously NOT Eddie. Stronger, faster, more durable. And apparently was receiving orders directly from Vecna. He also apparently had a craving for flesh, having busted into the meat locker of a deli before being found.
"What's your game this time? Use our friend's face to trick us?", she questioned.
"Heh, it really warms our heart that you call us 'friend'. Guess quality time over quantity, huh?" He was smiling, like none of this was a threat to him. Knowing creatures of the Upside Down, it would take more than one bullet, but Nancy had plenty.
"I believe I laid down my terms with the others pretty clearly. I'll follow your rules, so long as Steve is the one to watch me."
"Why Steve?", Jonathan asked.
Kas grinned at him. "Steve's my favorite."
"Oh my god, shut up, shut up, shut up", Eddie lamented from their shared mental space.
While Nancy and Jonathan were handling that situation in the garage, Steve was trying to get a grip on what was happening in his house. They were practically running up the walls.
"Steve you don't understand!", Dustin exclaimed. "This is huge!"
"I don't see how a monster posing as Eddie is huge?"
"But they're not just posing. It IS Eddie", Mike said.
"We don't know that. Not until Nancy confirms it."
Will rolled his eyes. "Oh like she'd know. She talked to Eddie for what? A day?"
"Cut the sass. And if you can talk, you can move your hands." Steve handed Will the knife and pushed some peppers his way.
"The point is WE, you know the people who actually hung out with Eddie would know him better. We should be the ones interrogating him", Lucas said, actually doing his duty of buttering a casserole dish.
"The other point is we don't NEED to question him because we already know that it's actually Eddie", Dustin said. "Vecna wouldn't know who Kas is. Eddie's in there. And he's telling us that he's on our side."
"You remember what Max told us, right? Vecna gets in your head. He sees what you see, knows what you know." Steve took the dish from Lucas and poured some rice into it. "If he got to Eddie, then he knows what Eddie knows." When Will finished dicing, Steve took the knife and was about to wash it under running water when he heard someone approach.
"Is Mama Steve making dinner?"
Steve reacted first and thought second and the knife flew threw the air. Kas caught it easily and twirled the knife in his hand.
"Nice aim. Lemme guess, little league?"
Nancy and Jonathan were right behind him. Steve wanted to respond. Maybe ask 'what the hell? why isn't he tied up? Nancy where's your gun?' But the kids got to it first.
"Tell us everything!" Mike demanded.
Dustin started rallying off questions. "Are you actually Eddie? Just enhanced? Or like a split personality? Is it one that came naturally or one Vecna implanted? Is Eddie like inside of you? Can he come out?"
"All in due time", Kas said, walking by them all to get to Steve, who once again looked like a deer with a car coming straight on.
"We struck a deal, princess. Looks like we're roomies."
There was still at least a foot separating them yet Steve felt boxed in. It was the same sensation he got whenever Eddie talked to him and only him, but intensified.
"Umm, hope you like chicken and rice?"
Internally, Eddie was falling to his knees. Steve's cooking, Steve in the process of cooking, with his little chickadees orbiting him. It was a domestic scene too much for his pining heart and he was actually glad right now that he wasn't holding the reins. Falling to his knees for chicken and rice wasn't the best look for a metalhead.
"Eddie would love some", Kas said cooly.
--------------------------
Dinner was an odd affair. All of them trying to figure out Kas in their own way. Dustin and Mike with their blatant questions, Lucas telling them to cool it, Nancy with her more subtle line of questioning, Will trying to see if he could feel anything, and Jonathan trying to see if Will was effected.
Steve was the only one pointedly trying to ignore the man which was very difficult given that he was doing everything in his power to get his attention. His favorite move seemed to be nudging Steve's foot with his own, causing Steve to bump his knee against the table at least three times.
Eddie wanted to roll into a hole and die. He especially wanted to do so when Kas started eyeing Steve's leg, because he knew what was coming.
"No, absolutely not. He let you get away with this much. But he will rip of your hand for this", Eddie said.
"I think he'd let us get away with much more." So Kas went ahead and put his hand on Steve's thigh, making him jolt up from his chair.
So yeah, quite the interesting dinner.
After eating, they figured out a rotation schedule for watching him. Technically Steve was only on the schedule for six hours a day. But considering Kas would be at his house the entire time, they'd be spending a lot more time together.
The rest of them were getting ready to leave so that they could check in with the others, but Nancy hung back to talk to Steve semi-privately.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?"
Steve glanced at the mysterious figure that was masquerading as Eddie, who was openly leering at him while ignoring the children.
"I'll be..uh, I can hang in there Nance, don't worry."
Then everyone else left, leaving the two of them alone. Steve felt a little like caged prey. But he also felt like this version of Eddie wouldn't hurt him. Not physically at least. But that left other things to do to him and Steve was afraid to go down that rabbit hole of possibilities.
"It's just you and me, Steve."
Part 3A More plotty, fluffy, bit of angst
Part 3B Less plotty, more smutty
Tag team:
@jestyzesty
@mightbeasleep
@findafight
@spooky-mulders
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oneofstarkskids · 2 months
Text
plus...he's adorable pt.2
part 1
notes: fluff, vegetarian!reader, college!reader
*not my gif*
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you had every intention of texting the cute boy who gave you his number at the museum, but you got busy. you had four different essays due and as much as you would have loved to blow them off, you were so close to graduating.
by the time you'd found the piece of paper with his number on it in one of your college notebooks, it had been a week. surely it was too late to try and get a hold of him now. which really sucked, because he seemed like the perfect guy.
it was disappointing, but you supposed you should just let it go. maybe it wasn't the right time.
at least, that's what you thought until you smacked right into him in the park. it was after your very last class and then sun was almost completely gone.
you were just about to stop by your favorite deli and order your usual, a veggie sub sandwich, when your forehead whacked his. "shit," you hissed, bringing your hand up to your head.
"oh!" steven rubbed his own forehead with a pained expression. "i'm so sorry, i wasn't paying-" he started but paused when he realized it was you.
his mind played back the last week that he's been anxiously waiting by his phone for a call from you. steven crossed his arms as if to really stick it to you.
"now you listen here missy," he began to rant. "it's not very kind to tell someone you'll 'see them soon' and then never call. i've been sitting around my flat eating chocolates and chatting with my fish like a sad bloke."
you desperately tried not to laugh at him. he was right. you should've called, but his accent made him twice as adorable and you were having a hard time focusing.
"i'm sorry, i've just been so busy." you tried to explain.
steven shook his head. he was actually putting up a better fight than he thought he would. "i don't need your excuses. if you don't like a guy you should just tell him next time."
"but i do like you!" you said as you started to get slightly frustrated.
steven uncrossed his arms and listened to you with a bewildered expression.
you sighed, "i got distracted writing essays for my finals so that i can finally graduate next month."
steven shrugged, "alright. that's a decent excuse."
"i really did want to call you, but once i had the time i felt like it was too late," you confessed.
the two of you had finally come to understanding, so there you were. standing face to face in the middle of the park.
"i'm free now if you're hungry? unless that's a stupid idea. you're right, it was a dumb suggestion. i just thought-" he began to nervously rant again.
you giggled, "steven," you grabbed his hand to calm him down. "i'd love too."
steven smiled and wrapped his hand around yours. as the two of you began to walk, you came across a steakhouse. steven tried to be considerate of you and asked if you'd like to go in. you, of course, just nodded thinking it was what he wanted.
you were seated at a private little table outside. you looked up and down your menu desperately looking for something without meat in it. steven did the same, peeking over his menu to look at you every once in a while.
eventually you just gave up and set your menu down with a groan, "i'm sorry. it's just that, i'm a vegetarian."
steven's eyes practically lit up, "no way! i'm vegan, i just didn't want to say anything to ruin this."
you both laughed at the entire situation as a waiter walked over with a notepad, "what will the two of you be having?"
you and steven shared a look before he replied, "we'll take two slices of the vegan vanilla cheesecake."
"to go," you added.
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yuujispinkhair · 7 months
Text
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Separation Anxiety (Chapter 09)
Put your lips on my scars and teach me to love
When a ritual separates Sukuna from Yuuji, Sukuna is delighted to find that besides having his own body, there is also another gift handed to him: The brat has lost all his memories and is now the perfect little plaything to take home and manipulate. At least, that's the plan. But the King of Curses isn't prepared for the feelings that come along with being human again. And another complication is how cute the brat is when he has no idea who Sukuna is and, instead of hating him, treats him with genuine love and affection. So, without realizing it, Sukuna suddenly finds himself on a journey of learning how to be loved and how to love.
++ Masterpost ++
Pairing: Sukuna x Yuuji Genre: Memory Loss AU, fluff, smut, light angst Word Count: 3k Playlist: Separation Anxiety Warnings: 18+, smut, mentions of violence, dub-con (Yuuji has lost his memories, and Sukuna lies to him about being boyfriends). All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.
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Chapter 09
Put your lips on my scars and teach me to love (Don't You Know by Jaymes Young)
The smell of herbs and candle wax fills Sukuna's nose as he strolls through the narrow aisles of the small deli shop across the street. In his hand is a shopping list written in Itadori's scrawly handwriting.
The irony isn't lost on Sukuna. A thousand years ago, it would have been unthinkable for him to shop for anything himself. He was the King of Curses. He was a God. People brought offerings to his temple, begging him to accept them. And everything he needed for his everyday life got taken care of by Uraume.
But times have changed. His life has changed. Now, Itadori Yuuji has a say in things, too, in their shared household. And as ironic as it is, Sukuna has to abide so he can keep up this little charade.
The brat had been indignant, huffed, and hit Sukuna's arm playfully when Sukuna said grocery shopping was Uraume's job.
"Oh, don't be so lazy, Kuna! The deli shop is just across the street! And Uraume is already busy doing the laundry today. I think everyone should contribute to the household! I will prepare the kitchen, and you go shopping, baby!"
Sukuna catches himself laughing softly at the memory of those golden eyes looking at him so sternly.
The whole situation was rather amusing. So what if the King of Curses is currently looking for ingredients for their dinner? It's fine. He is still the one in control. He just has to make some accommodations. It's part of the plan.
And after all, he is also benefitting from his little shopping trip. The brat wants to cook tonight. He has been watching the Food Channel a lot those last few days and wants to try a recipe he saw there. And Sukuna knows that the boy is a good cook. So if it means getting an exquisite homemade meal, Sukuna is ok with going shopping, or as the brat calls it, contributing to the household.
When he gets back, he is greeted by a smiling Yuuji.
"See, it wasn't that bad, was it?"
The brat looks far too smug, but Sukuna just laughs and lets himself get pushed against the fridge, smirking when Yuuji presses a kiss onto his lips.
Yuuji's tongue delves deep into Sukuna's mouth while eager fingers work to unbuckle Sukuna's belt and undo his pants.
He receives a mindblowing blow job right there, leaning against the fridge, his hands tangled in Yuuji's hair while the boy slurps devotedly on Sukuna's cock, with spit running so lovely down his chin, rewarding Sukuna for being a responsible member of this household.
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Sukuna always assumed he would never understand love. And if someone could show it to him, it would be someone who held the same powerful position as he did. Another person who was at the top, sitting on a lonely throne.
He had been wrong.
Because he can see love now. He can see it in a pair of sparkling golden eyes full of warmth and affection when they look at him. He can see it in a broad smile that grows even bigger than the owner of that smile catches Sukuna looking.
He can feel it in tight hugs and sweet kisses. He can hear it in the tender words whispered to him before falling asleep. He can see it in the hundreds of little things Yuuji does for him: A cup of hot chocolate here, a backrub there, letting Sukuna decide which movie to watch or what snacks to get.
Yuuji loves him.
He doesn't love the powerful King of Curses. He loves the man Sukuna. He knows nothing about Sukuna's power or position. The version of Sukuna that he knows is stripped of all those things. He doesn't know that Sukuna could make the world his and give Yuuji anything he could ever wish for.
He only knows his boyfriend Kuna. The man who lives in that penthouse with him. The man who watches movies with him and goes on morning runs with him. And Yuuji loves that man. The man that Sukuna is behind his titles and riches.
It's all based on a lie, of course.
Sukuna isn't that man.
But Yuuji doesn't know any better. He doesn't know what Sukuna did and how he hurt Yuuji and the people close to him in the past. He doesn't know about the death and destruction Sukuna brings with him anywhere he goes.
Itadori Yuuji is just a naive boy who loves with his whole heart. The very heart that Sukuna once ripped out of his chest and threw away like it was trash.
But Yuuji doesn't know that.
Is this fate's irony? That Sukuna finally found the one who can teach him about love, but it will shatter the moment the truth comes out?
"Kuna? Baby? Are you ok? You have that look in your eyes again."
Warm hands cup Sukuna's cheeks tenderly as the boy slips onto his lap and straddles him. There is genuine worry in his golden eyes as he looks at Sukuna.
Sukuna smiles at him. He can't tell if it is a genuine or fake smile. The lines are getting blurred lately. His arms wrap around the boy automatically, holding him safely in his embrace.
"I'm ok, don't worry, darling. Just thinking about the past."
Yuuji nods as if understanding what Sukuna means. His golden eyes wander over Sukuna's face, and gentle fingers trace the black tattoed lines until they reach the scars under Sukuna's eyes. The ones where his second pair of eyes used to be when he was still in his true form. The same scars the brat used to have when they still shared a body. Yuuji's fingertips brush gently over those scars, caressing them carefully.
"Where did you get those scars? Was it some ritual stuff of your family? Like some initiation? Did it hurt? My poor baby."
He leans closer, and his warm breath brushes lightly over Sukuna's cheeks.
"You probably had a rough past, Kuna. And I wish I could go back in time and make it alright for you. I wish I could take away all the pain you experienced. I wish I could have been by your side back then and protected you."
And then his lips land on Sukuna's skin, soft and tender. But it feels as if they burn Sukuna's skin. Yuuji is kissing his scars. And Sukuna can't breathe.
Yuuji's touch is so gentle, and yet it breaks Sukuna more than any violence all his enemies combined have thrown his way.
Has anyone ever wanted to protect him? To save him? It's an insane thought. He came into this world as the strongest, too powerful, too dangerous. Even his mother had feared him. And that's how it had stayed his whole life. People feared him or saw him as a source of power they could use to their advantage. Sukuna was always meant for great things. A new era. A new King. A new God. A monster so powerful it could rule the whole world.
He had never needed saving. It's a thought so ridiculous! As if someone as powerful as Sukuna needed saving! As if someone like him needed a stupid hero!
And yet, a small voice in Sukuna whispers that it may have been different if Yuuji had been there in his past. Maybe things would have gone a very different way. Maybe there could have been another life for him. A life where strength and absolute power weren't the only things he knew. If anyone in this world could have saved Sukuna, it would probably really have been the brat with his stupid, naive heart so full of love.
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The brat is getting more restless lately. The morning runs in the park aren't enough anymore. So Sukuna starts taking him on short trips to coffee shops and bakeries. And soon, he finds himself loosening his restraints on the boy. At this point, he knows that Yuuji will always come back to him.
It's even sweeter than having him locked up in the penthouse like a prisoner. It gives Sukuna a deep satisfaction to see the boy willingly come back home to him with a broad smile and his arms full of snacks he bought for their movie nights.
And he always pulls Sukuna into a tight hug after his return, snuggling into his arms, clinging to him as if he feels that dull ache in his chest, too, when they are too far apart. He probably experiences that phantom pain, too. But even without it, he is so smitten with Sukuna that he would never leave.
Such a sweet victory. The brat could run, but he doesn't want to.
Sukuna sighs and gets up from the couch, slowly strolling over to the floor-to-ceiling window. His eyes narrow as he gazes down at the park and then lets his gaze wander over the seemingly endless streets and buildings under him.
Tokyo. Such a big city filled with so many souls, with so much warm flesh and life. A kingdom fitting for a King like him. A huge pot for him to stir. All those lost souls, caught in the loneliness and stress of modern life. He could give them something to pray for. He could be their God. He could make this city bow to him, collectively bringing all its citizens to their knees, worshipping and fearing him.
He could have all that. But he isn't even interested in it anymore, strangely. All his eyes search for in that sea of nameless bodies is that familiar shade of pink.
Two hours pass. The sun is beginning to set, casting a pink and orange glow over the city.
No sign of the brat.
The hollow feeling in Sukuna's chest is growing in intensity.
Where are you?
Did Sukuna misjudge the situation? Did the boy decide to run after all?
The shrill ringing of the phone pulls him out of his thoughts. He hears Uraume answer it, hears them sounding surprised, and then soft footsteps approach Sukuna.
Uraume bows deeply before him,
"Excuse me, Master Sukuna, this was a call from the hospital. Apparently, Master Yuuji was injured, and they called to let you know that he is up and wants to go home. But they won't let him leave on his own."
And just like that, Sukuna's vision goes blurry. Black spots dance before his eyes. The world is out of focus. His blood is rushing loudly in his ears, and his heart is hammering too fast in his chest.
"Master Sukuna?"
Sukuna manages to focus his gaze on Uraume. He nods curtly, shoving his shaking hands deeply into the pockets of his black suit pants. An indifferent smirk lifts his lips, but he thinks he can hear a strained note in his low voice when he replies,
"Alright, thank you, Uraume. Get the car, please. Let's pick that annoying brat up, then. That boy is nothing but trouble."
His jaw clenches painfully once his loyal servant has left the penthouse to get the car.
Fucking brat! What did you do?
Sukuna hastily grabs his suit jacket and shrugs into it while striding toward the elevator with large, hurried steps. The ride to the ground floor takes too long. Sukuna groans, one hand tugging at his tie. Why is it so hard to breathe in here?
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When Sukuna strides down the brightly lit hospital corridor, he can already hear the brat's indignant voice carry to his ears, arguing with the nurse.
Sukuna stops in the open doorway, glancing at the hospital bed where Itadori is sitting, shirtless, with a large bandage wrapped around one shoulder and his ribcage. His tan skin is littered with bruises and scratches.
Sukuna feels as if someone landed a punch in his guts.
"Yuuji."
The boy turns his head, and Sukuna's heart constricts when their eyes meet across the room.
"Kuna! They won't let me go home! I told them several times I was ok, but they refuse to let me go!"
Sukuna is the one who closes the distance between them and pulls Yuuji into his arms. His embrace is too tight, but he cannot make himself loosen his hold on his brat. He needs that throbbing ache in his chest to go away. He needs his brat pressed to his body as close as possible to make sure he is ok. To make sure that what belongs to Sukuna is still intact.
He is already using his reverse cursed technique, intentionally, this time, mending Yuuji's wounds, taking all the pain away from him.
His lips move against the boy's temple, his voice sounding strange to his own ears,
"What happened? Are you alright?"
Yuuji nods while his arms wrap around Sukuna, and he nuzzles his face against Sukuna's neck,
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm glad you came here so fast. I just want to go home. It's just a scratch anyway."
At this point, the nurse clears her throat loudly.
"I wouldn't call that just a scratch! He got into a fight and got a stab wound in his shoulder that needed stitches. We advised him to stay here overnight, but he is adamant about going home. I can only let him go if you attest that you will stay with him at all times for the next 24 hours."
Sukuna doesn't even hear the second part. His mind starts spinning when he hears the words stab wound. Hot anger fills him, making him hug Yuuji even tighter. What a mockery that someone attacked Yuuji with a knife, of all things! Sukuna is the Master of a slashing technique! He is the one who slashed the brat open in the past, who severed his limbs from him several times just for the fun of it. But now, someone else cut Yuuji's skin open and drew blood from him! Sukuna is breathing heavily. How dare anyone touch what's his! How dare anyone lay a finger on his brat!
His voice is cold, barely able to hide the fury that's raging through him,
"How did this happen?"
Yuuji looks sheepishly up at him,
"Um, well, this kid got jumped by those three guys. I saw it happen, so what was I supposed to do? I went over to help him, of course!"
The nurse's face softens, and she nods,
"That was very kind of you but also dangerous."
Sukuna's fingers twist in the back of Yuuji's hair.
"Where are those guys?"
He will make sure they suffer before he ends their useless little lives.
"Already at the police station."
Sukuna wants to go after them, splatter their brains all over the floor, and make them choke on their own blood.
Yuuji groans slightly, his hands grabbing Sukuna's jacket tightly, probably feeling dizzy from the blood loss. And Sukuna realizes, to his astonishment, that instead of getting revenge, another matter is more important to him at the moment. The urge to hold Yuuji, to cup his cheek and make him tilt his head up so Sukuna can inspect his face. So Sukuna can see those beautiful golden eyes look back at him with that bright sparkle of life in them. So he can caress that soft skin and see the loving smile on the brat's lips.
His gaze doesn't leave Yuuji's as he tells the nurse,
"He's coming home with me. Hand me the papers I need to sign."
They leave the hospital shortly after, walking towards the parking lot with Sukuna's arm wrapped tightly around Yuuji's waist, keeping him close to his side.
He sits in the back with Yuuji on the drive home, holding his hand, unable to take his gaze away from the pastel pink hair and the pretty face of his former vessel. The dull ache of the missing soulbond is gone now that they are so close again, but to Sukuna's dismay, something still doesn't feel right. His chest feels too tight, and his heart feels too heavy.
"Don't ever do something so reckless again. Promise me you won't get yourself into danger like that again!"
He doesn't know where the words come from. Is this part of the role he is playing? The worried boyfriend? He cannot remember making the conscious decision to say those words.
Yuuji bites his lips,
"I'm sorry for worrying you, baby. But I had to help. I couldn't just walk away."
Of course, you couldn't. Even without your memories, you are still the stupid, selfless hero through and through.
Sukuna doesn't sleep that night.
He lies awake in the king-sized bed with Yuuji snuggled into his arms. Thoughts keep racing through his mind while his chest and throat still feel tight, making it feel like he can't breathe.
He cannot remember feeling this way before, but now, in the quiet of the night, he has time to analyze it and realizes that he recognizes those signs. He has seen them before. Short, fast breath, fingers stiff and clenched into claws, eyes wide open and unblinking. He has seen this a thousand times before, just never on himself, only on his victims.
He knows what this is.
Fear.
Sukuna's body is in a state of panic. Something he has never experienced firsthand before.
And the most troubling thing about this is that he knows exactly what triggered this.
The brat got hurt.
Sukuna could have lost Yuuji. And the thought of that sent him spiraling.
He grits his teeth angrily. It's ironic how he spent years wishing the boy death and ruin so Sukuna could finally break free, only to now cling to Yuuji desperately, afraid to let go of him in fear of feeling him slip through his fingers and dissolve into thin air.
When did it come to this? How did this happen?
Sukuna can't find an answer to those questions that race through his mind. But he lies awake the whole night listening to the soft inhale and exhale of the boy in his arms. His hand comes to rest on Yuuji's chest right above his heart. Sukuna's fingers sprawl possessively over the defined muscles of the boy's chest, feeling the reassuring constant thrum of Yuuji's strong heart, silently counting every beat.
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Thank you so much for reading Chapter 9!! Big bad Sukuna panicking when Yuuji gets injured makes my heart happy ;) Did you notice when Kuna suddenly thought of Yuuji as "his brat" instead of "the brat"? I cried so much while writing that. It's the little things sometimes that make me emotional. My fave scene to write was where Yuuji kisses Sukuna's scars, though. That has always been something I NEEDED to write for Sukuita, and it makes me so weak. The thought of someone treating Sukuna with such tenderness makes me sob!! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and that it could make you emotional, too. Thank you so much to everyone who keeps reading every update! It means so much to me to share this story with you! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.
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