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#they say the stuff other people are too scared to lmao
akechi-if-he-slayed · 7 months
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ok i actually am kind of hype for panderverse.
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tianhai03 · 2 years
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another C’s coloring post! my sparda twins body type headcanons but now in Color
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semercury · 1 year
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I am so awkward literally why was I allowed to be born?
#stuff sarah says#im a simple woman. i fuck up a social interaction and i will think about it for eternity#also im scared people at work are going to hate me bc one of the higher ups likes me#someone was having problems with her and it scared me bc 1. would she get mad at me if i did smth similar and 2. will people get mad at me#for her liking me?#and then yeah. on top of it someone said 'goodbye friend' and i heard 'friends' so i sadi goodbye too#since i was like half in the conversation and it was hhhhfhfh#why am i the one who survived?#out of all the people ive known who died why did i get to live?#i could have died as a baby. or when i was 18#why wasnt i the one who got sick? why was it them? why was it her?#im so bad at being a person. i dont think i deserve my life really#and thats the kind of sentence that would have been dissected in therapy but i dont have therapy anymore#and im trying to tell myself its not bc of the good thing that happened recently but like. when has my brain ever listened?#i dont ask for good things to happen to me. why do they keep happening to me? i dont deserve them and it hurts other people#something something stupid cosmic scoreboard something something universe blah blah blah magical thinking fuck me lmao#im insane but im so normal about it i promise like i promise#its like i dont deserve to live and everyone should hate me if they dont already bc im such a bad excuse of a person#but like i will go to work tomorrow and smile and tell people where the rice is for the hundredth time#ignore this!!! ignore this please!!! i just need to eat and sleep probably im fine!!!
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Uh.... Love how.... Instead of gently reassuring me or such whenever I say something really bad about myself Oliver just sigh loudly/grunt and then go to argue against me and finally gently tell me the opposite :')
#miranda talking shit#Me: no one cares about what i think...#Oliver: -loud groan-🙄 ok who said that except you? No one. I care about your opinions. I want to hear what you think#I meam then he went on a little side note to clarify 'oh i dont care that much about hearing it but i want to hear it bc i want to have an#Discussion with you' (very on brand. Cant just say something like caring about someone without adding not like i care after lol)#Hes probably tired of my insecure shit but he still goes so hard every time i say something. Ive said im fat/similar three times and all#Times he took it as an personal attack i honestly love it. Not met anyone who goes through all kinds of tones in one ... Time#Its refreshing. I know ive known him for soon three years but i would say we've only been friends for two#But hes still so refreshing in his way of thinking and talking. I think i like how he's not treating me... Intentionally softer/gently bc#Of how i am or bc of our situation? If he thinks im wrong or say something stupid he'll say so straight up. Im used to people being too#Scared to do that because they know i cry easily or something similar. No he's just like ... I'll say whatever i think. Yet hes also way#Too nice. The amount of patience in that lil guy is big. If i was more brave and gave less shits about what others thinks id tell him this#Stuff. But i know hes not... Good with that sort of things. Technically no one im close with is really lmao. So i just scream lovingly#About them on here. Everyone is so nice to me and its just something i wish i could express clearly to others#Instead id probably ramble and start to cry if i try to put it into words. My heart just big and im luv people thanks
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stormberry-12 · 1 year
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the pogues/ESPECIALLY JJ would protect innocent!reader SO MUCH. like she could be the youngest or something and they would go back for her (for ex. when they had to leave jb in s3). anyways jj would so definitely say something like, “you’re like their little sister, but you’re MY girl.” yk
my woman ~ jj maybank x reader
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Ahh yes, I totally agree, and I LOVE the innocent!reader and JJ trope>>>
summary: in the ask! not from season 3 but a close concept. :)
pairing: jj x innocent!fem!reader
warnings: slight language, reader in danger, mega fluff.
notes: lowercase intended, this was made late at night and not rlly edited srry if its bad lmao, (jj requests open still)
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you shifted around and felt the sun on your face as your eyes fluttered open. you were in the twinkie bumping along a winding road, clinging onto jj, who was sitting in his seat, like a koala. or as jay called it, "the front pack", it was like a piggyback but on his front because he always wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay.
you shifted your legs around his torso and lifted your head from the crook of his neck.
"hiya, cupcake," he whispered softly, taking one of his arms that was wrapped around you and moving it so he could brush strands of hair from out of your eyes. "good nap?"
you nodded, wiping the sleep from your eyes, and he smiled. you suddenly recalled how you had gotten here and relief washed over you.
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you were running through alleyways on the cut, you felt betrayed. where had the pogues gone? they were there with you five seconds ago and now you were running away from those bloody square groupers alone.
over by the pogues, jj was having a mental breakdown, "where did she go man?"
"damn it!" john b exclaimed."pope, i thought she was behind you when we cut down this way!
"we have to go back for her-" jj houghed.
"i don't know jay..."
"no... no. we have to." he held his hat in one hand and ran the other through his hair in distress.
"he's right, we have to." pope agreed.
"come on man, we finally lost those guys and now you want to follow em?" john b sighed.
"jb you of all people should understand, she's like a little sister to you man! she's still only 16 and this kind of stuff scares the shit out of her, i can't do that to her guys-"
"john b we're going after her," kie pleaded.
"god! we're wasting time, i'm gonna go after her, even if i have to do it by myself!" jj ran off in your last seen direction. john b gave in and followed along with the rest of the pogues, they all knew jj was right, and their group wouldn't survive without you.
as you continued to run, blood pumping through your ears, you looked for the best spot to hide behind, trying to throw them off. you slid behind a large dumpster and listened as the sets of footsteps of the two men ran past you.
you waited a moment, calming your breathing before you moved from behind the bin. you jumped as the footsteps came back in your direction, but instead of those square groupers, it was jj and the pogues.
"y/n!" j sighed in relief scooping you up into his arms. "I'm so sorry, that will never happen again-"
you just stood there too exhausted to complain, your face buried in his chest. john b brought the twinkie around the corner and you all piled in, driving off into the night.
~<>~<>~<>~<>~
"you came back for me," you smiled at your boyfriend wrapping your arms around his neck, still facing him on his lap.
"of course," jj said. "you know you're like their little sister, we honestly would fall apart without you... and your my girl."
"your girl?" you giggled.
"my girl, my woman, my soulmate." he repeated smoothly pressing his forehead to yours and closing his eyes. "you sure you're okay?"
"yeah," you said, leaning into his touch, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck. "perfect,"
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nicromancytarot · 2 months
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WHO IS COMING INTO YOUR LIFE ROMANTICALLY?
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.
PICK A CARD READING
I asked my spirit guides what you need to know about the next person who is coming into your life romantically, pick a pile and find out what they had to say!
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Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
PILE 1
This person is embodying the energy of the king of cups, they are giving off much more masculine energy, this doesn’t mean that they are a guy, however this person is more in tune with their masculine, leadership side. When you meet this person, they will be going with the flow, allowing life to take them wherever, and coincidentally they will find you.
I am getting the feeling that this person is new to most, if not all of you. So I’m not seeing any exes or reconciliations in this pile.
This person seems to have been going through something which led them astray or possibly ended in them getting hurt, for some this may have been a breakup.
Around the time that the two of you meet, they’re going to act like a taster for you, they’ll give you these little moments with them, which leave you waiting for more, yearning for them to allow you in some more, but you only receive a drip, a dribble of what they could actually give you.
They’ll keep this going on for a while, keeping you interested and guessing, during this time they may have you lined up as an accomplishment or trophy, they may still have feelings for an ex, and have you as a second option.
It will take a while to get out of the situationship and bring yourselves to something more committed and long term, honestly I’m seeing around 6-8 months of no label.
All while it can absolutely end well, it can give you what you desperately want in a relationship, the agony and anticipation may turn to be too much for you.
For those of you who choose to walk away from this without letting it grow or become anything more, you are making a good decision, you’re embodying the queen of wands energy, you don’t need anyone to define you or make you any more worthy than you already are.
For those of who choose to stay, be careful of your heart, make sure to protect your dignity and don’t let this person get you down, you can build something beautiful with a lot of patience and determination, however you are always ok to walk away.
PILE 2
A lot of you are getting over something at the moment, I’m unfortunately getting an ex, someone from your past who I’m not too sure that you received closure from when you last saw or spoke to them.
I do see this ex coming back into your life, if they come back during mercury retrograde, dawg bin them, we are in no need of negativity during this time! However, for those who do not come back during this current moment, either you will contact them, or they will contact you. I do see that a lot of you have some stuff to talk out with this past person.
The closure conversation won’t exactly go to plan, you may be sucked in by their drama, trauma dumping or a poor attempt to get you back. I do feel as though you will entertain this situation for a little, perhaps not too long, but long enough for some emotions and feelings to arise again.
However on the other side of things, you have someone completely new, someone who is willing to give you things that this past person wasn’t able to supply for you. This person is coming in hot and heavy, they will be very direct about what they want with you.
I feel like you’ve always been the one to make the first move, or admit your feelings, this person will turn your life on it’s head, they will be honest, direct, real and just very straightforward about what they desire.
They may say something along the lines of not wanting to be with you until you’re over your ex, this could be a drunken confession where you try to tell them that you are, and they tell you you’re not. It will either end up with you crying into their hands as they cradle your head, or some hot and heavy make out session lmao.
This person is willing to wait for you, they will be on the sidelines for as long as you need them to be. It doesn’t seem like they will be letting go easily.
The ex person is giving me twin flame vibes, meanwhile the new person is a soulmate.
So it’s either out with the old and in with the new, or out with the new and back to the old.
The choice is yours.
PILE 3
You guys seem to have gone through some type of break up as well lmao, something which forced you to let go of someone that you cared a lot about. If it’s not a relationship, then it’s a situation that had you up at night upset and stressing.
During this time there was this one person that you would confide in, this person was there to rub your back while you cried, and tell you that everything was ok.
They watched you through your healing journey, helping you become one with yourself and your expression once again, help you build yourself up until you felt comfortable in your own skin. This person is a people watcher, especially when it comes to you, they’re observing to the point of writing down every little thing about you, you could ask this person the colour of your eyes, or how many freckles are on your face and they would be able to answer without a second glance. They know you like they know themself.
This person may call you their flower or petal, you may have a flower relating name, something to do with how delicately they view you, you’re like a piece of china to them, one wrong touch and you’d break. They don’t want to break you.
They metaphorically stand by your bedside as you sleep, protecting you from every scary dream, or any unwanted negativity that could come your way, they want nothing more than to protect you and keep your safe, it’s their purpose.
You are Barbie, and they are just Ken. (No gender affirmed)
This person will wait for the right time before making their move, and when they do, they will resume leadership and continue to look after you for as long as you allow them to.
This person will love you like you have never been loved before, they will caress every inch of your skin as though you were sculpted by the Gods, they want nothing more than for you to be theirs, and them to resume being yours.
Because they will always be yours.
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astrologuzzy · 11 months
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✿ MORE ASTRO OBSERVASHUNS ✿
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I’m back to spill more astrology observations, lessgetit!!! ˃̵ᴗ˂̵
Also, quick reminder that these are just MY observations and opinions I’ve gathered, so take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! mwahhh 😽💋
☆ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 seem to really like physical displays of affection very much. Every Gemini I knew always loved giving hugs specifically lol. They may enjoy physical touch as a love language.
★ I often notice how 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 aren’t scared to give their opinions no matter how controversial they may be. They don’t care if people agree, if they truly believe in it then they will share it and whoever disagrees can kiss their own ass. Which can seem intimidating to many especially with how much intensity and passion Scorpio brings to the table.
☆ I find it so easy to spot someone with 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒. You guys give a very mellow and grounded energy that is very specific to Earth signs. Y’all have that signature down to earth presence or a very firm/calm tone of voice that I recognize instantly even thru text lol.
★ Everyone wants to call Leos the most “cocky” sign but have y’all seen 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈? They’re the real culprit here lol. These guys are number one fans of themselves (do I even need to make examples lol) and I respect it tbh.
☆ Speaking of 𝐋𝐄𝐎, they love to just disappear for like days or weeks straight out of absolutely nowhere and then come back like nothing happened and resume from where they left off. Like sir, are you not gonna explain why you just ghosted everybody? Lol like are you gonna explain where you was? (double points if that Leo has Sagittarius or Aquarius influences in chart cos they’re even more prone to going mia).
★ When people have 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 in their big 6 or heavy Mars influence in the chart I notice that they tend to sound/come across way ruder than they’re actually being lol. They can be very dominant and intimidating in conversations. You’d think they’re angry or being mean but they’re just asking you to pass them the water bottle lmao. Often I think they don’t even realize that themselves since they’re just built that way.
☆ People with 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 & 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 in their big 3 together kinda scare me lol (in a good way). They usually are very into occult stuff and/or are strongly religious and showcase it very openly and firmly. Sometimes they just have a very intimidating aura/demeanor to them. I notice how they frequently tend to be very into dark colors and themes/styles too. They don’t f*ck around at all. Love y’all 💚
★ People with a 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐒𝐔𝐍 usually have their Moon sign qualities be more noticeable. With Geminis I tend to catch onto their Moon sign behavior before I realize that they’re a Gemini. Could be a mutable thing where they’re versatile enough that their Moon qualities shine more than their sun sign qualities. Very frequently when I try to guess a Gemini’s sun sign I actually guess their Moon sign. They tend to act like their Moon more than other zodiac signs in my experience. They may not even notice it either.
☆ I hope I don’t offend anyone for this one but people with a 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 (frequently more moon) mother tend to have veryyyy chaotic childhood stories about her. Somehow these moms tend to often be pretty emotionally unhinged people (no offense but in my experience so many of my friends have a mom with a Pisces sun and/or Pisces moon and they all always tell me how their moms have crazy mood swings or a very erratic behavior). I’m honestly so sorry for anyone who had, or still has to deal with such an environment. 🫂💚
★ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 & 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 are the best opposite sign duo in astrology imo. I’ve never seen many Geminis or Sags that say they dislike or don’t get that along with one another. We really click well and even I personally can testify that lol. These two always besties.
☆ Also 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 loooove anything to do with 2D characters or just fictional stuff in general. They love their ffs, romance books, making fan arts or edits. Every Pisces I knew had some kind of obsession with multiple fictional characters or shows and each one of them had accounts dedicated to making art or edits about said characters/shows lol. No matter if it’s a manga, an anime, a video game, a song, a movie or a cartoon, a Pisces placement will most probably romanticize a character or wtv it is they feel resonates with them in some way. I know lotta people do that but Pisces are usually more prone to be very frequent and indulgent with it in my experience. Not judging anyone, just pointing it out lol.
That’s all for todayyy ☀︎
Also please don’t copy or claim my content without credit or consent ♡
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mimixmunson · 1 month
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eddie or steve with alternative!reader, like face piercings, black makeup, allat stuff
and nsfw or not but they would just be so smitten and follow them around and nod dumbly to whatever reader says bcus theyre so pretty and scary looking
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Belly button piercings. Steddie x female reader. Smut. Blurb.
I’m so sorry this is basically not what you asked for but I tried!! Hope this is okay! I really got in ‘the zone’ and wrote this all in one lmao!
You first noticed them when you were working, it was a Thursday afternoon, and you were waiting for your next appointment to arrive. Your client wanted a belly button piercing, something you’d done a million times in your job as a body piercer, it was second nature to you now. Especially since you have so many metal adjustments to yourself too, several facial piercings that happen to catch people’s eyes. You get complimented on your vertical labret often, but your favourite was the piercing that only you were allowed to see at the moment, single life really was keeping you from excitement.
They stood shyly in the doorway, the dark haired boy seemingly more confident than the brunette. He stood a little taller, had some ear piercings himself and as he took off his jacket, handing it to the other guy, you noticed his tattoos. You had a few of your own, some of which you’d actually given yourself. The long haired guy fiddled with his rings, he basically had one on each finger, the skull one catching your eye the most. It was cool, you make a mental note to see if you can find one of those for yourself.
The more metal looking of the men spoke, “Hi. I’m Eddie. I’m here for my piercing?” He had a great voice, he definitely was confident like you had expected. You offer him a friendly smile and show him out back to your studio after taking his payment, giving him his consent form and running him through the aftercare. “Can my boyfriend come too?” He questioned shyly, holding the brunette man’s hand behind his back. You nod and laugh, assuming he can’t be afraid of needles if he’s got so many tattoos. “Follow me, both of you are welcome, there’s always room for an emotional support person. Even if you are a pretty metal head or a…” You stood still and looked him up and down. “Frat boy?” You laugh, hoping to get the same reaction from them, it always helped to make jokes to ease your clients nerves.
In the kindest possible way they looked stupid, like they’d seen a ghost. Eddie’s jaw had dropped, he’s practically drooling at the compliment and his boyfriend? His cheeks are bright red. He nods dumbly, like every single thought in his pretty head had been knocked out by your comment.
“I don’t need!- whatever. This is Steve.” Eddie shakes his head and chuckles at your joke. “Thank you for letting me watch, I kinda wanted to see how you do this whole piercing thing, I’m tempted to get one myself.” Steve spoke finally, his voice a lot softer than Eddie’s. His face was flushed, embarrassed by his own words.
You mark up Eddie’s belly button, making sure the lining you drew was straight and offer him a look in the mirror. As he stands upright, staring at the pen marks on his midriff you notice them for the second time that day. But it wasn’t just them, it was how they looked at you. Their eyes followed you, ever since they stood hunched over in the doorway of the waiting room. Their eyes never left you, dancing around your face and more recently, your pants.
You’d been ogled over before, sort of part and parcel of the job. Men had come into your studio just to ask you if you had any “naughty” piercings or assume you must be freaky in bed because you’re tatted and pierced. But you didn’t mind the way they were looking at you. Almost like you were an enigma, a paradox.
“Stevie here’s acting scared but don’t let him fool you, he likes a bit of pain.” Eddie giggles over his own words whilst Steve shoots him a look, giving him daggers. You noticed the way Steve blushed again, it’s adorable really. His cheeks flushed at everything. “Is that so? Well the belly button piercing is just a little pinch really, the clamp is the worst part. Just breathe through it and it’s over. I promise, I’ll be gentle. To you that is, might have to be a little more rough with this one huh? He seems insistent on embarrassing you doesn’t he, sweetheart?” You motion to Eddie, wiggling the capped needle around in your fingers. Steve threw his head back in laughter, squeezing Eddie’s hand in his own, “t-thanks.” He stutters through his words, you could definitely see this guy being a submissive. His entire nature is submissive. Your mind escapes you as you imagine what he’d look like tied to your bed. Would Eddie join you in dominating Steve or would you have them both at your mercy?
That was a hell of a way to break the ice, finding out your client’s boyfriend is a pain slut definitely was a new one. Fantasising about your clients even more so, but they are so endearing.
“Okay you ready?” You glance up at Eddie, he nods and you position your needle. “And 3, 2, 1, aaaand done.” You feed the needle through his belly button, you remove the needle and leave the plastic tube inside the freshly pierced hole. “And here’s the stingy part.” You mutter as you thread his chosen jewellery through the plastic tube of the needle and twists the ball on top, wiping and sterilising his belly button. “How was it?” Steve questioned, still looking at Eddie through his fingers across his eyes. “Completely fine babe, princess here has magic fingers.” He shoots you a smirk in an attempt to fluster you back for earlier.
“Sure do. Are you up next Steve? I have time to slot you in now, I’ve got a free hour.” Inquiring as clean up your work space once more. “N-no. Maybe next time.” He responds with the weakest smile you’ve ever seen. He’s scared, if any of the goosebumps on his skin suggest, that’s understandable. Poor thing, he’s a completely blank canvas and a piercing is a pretty big commitment to make. Eddie smiles, whispering something in-audible to Steve which of course left him with a flushed face again.
You squat down to your drawers to reach a form, and as you bend over you hear a groan. Well more of a grunt, you smirk whilst your back is turned. These boys were too cute. Wondering which of them you could make yours first, maybe take the easy frightened little lamb and watch his protector follow. What sounds would they make? You could break down the act that Eddie puts up and make him melt in your hands? Was the act he puts up all a ploy, was Steve the top? So many questions run through your mind, but you knew something for certain. This was precious. These boys were precious. Behind you, you hear some giggling. Still searching for the feedback form you have to leave it up to your imagination, but it ate at you. What were they giggling about? You hadn’t imagined the handcuffs attached to Eddie’s belt, maybe he was teasing him by showing Steve what he’d be tied with that night? Maybe they’d pointed at you pretty ass bend over so nicely on display for them and daydreamed about having you in those cuffs?
You twist your face over your shoulder to face them as you pick up the form, your elbows squeezing together ‘accidentally’. Steve shys away from looking but you can tell he wants to, it was obvious. His eyes darted around the room, from the mirror across from you, and back to your chest. Whereas Eddie? His jaw was on the floor, his vision transfixed on your chest.
“Okay, well in that case when you’re ready I need you, Eddie to fill in this form about how your experience was here today. We give them to all our clients.”
You commanded, handing him the form and a pen, watching as he filled it out pretty quickly. It was cute, through the whole time you’d spent together, Steve hadn’t let go of Eddie’s hand. Following him around like a lost dog, but he still couldn’t stop his eyes from moving over you. Eddie squeezes Steve’s hand again and he looks down at his lap. Oh. Was it the pain of the piercing or your body that made that tent in his pants appear? Steve bites his lip and reaches out to palm his hand over Eddie’s bulge. He squirms and swats at his boyfriend’s hands. Oh god could they get any cuter, flustered and bratty? The things you could do.
He shuffles his jacket across his waist, hoping you hadn’t seen it. Handing you the form back, you walk them both back into the waiting room. You sign the form to prove you had administered the piercing, handing it back to Eddie to take his copy home for safe keeping. Chewing on your pen lid, you giggle as the leave your studio. You wonder how long it will be until they read the note you left them on the paper.
“Let me know if you want that piercing Stevie, I think you’d both suit little matching belly bars. The cutest boys. If I’ve read this wrong ignore me and I apologise but if I haven’t? Call me. *phone number*.”
Well you’ve had worse days at work.
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doctorsiren · 7 months
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So I said this in the tags of my last post, but then I went wacky and doodled up some pages of this other AU idea that stemmed from the idea of that comic I did
In this AU, Miles goes to Diego Armando’s office a few weeks after the Fawles trial. There is no cocky, arrogant, or smug air about him like there was during the trial and instead he seems really shaken and nervous. Diego’s like “hey what’s wrong?” And Miles is quiet but then says that he needs help. He tells Diego that he can’t get the image of Fawles’s suicide out of his head and that he has no one he can talk to about this. Diego asks about Miles’s mentor, but Miles says that there’s absolutely no way he could ever go to his mentor for help with emotional stuff because it would show “weakness” and he also isn’t comfortable with von Karma. To make a long story short (because I’ve thought so much about this), Miles ends up pleading with Diego to protect him from von Karma just in case he goes after him for switching sides to be a defense attorney. He knows that von Karma will see him as weak and a traitor for switching teams after a single case, but Miles can’t be someone he’s not. Diego points out that Miles seems to be trying to be who von Karma wanted him to be. So he asks Miles what he wants to be, and Miles responds by saying he wants to be his dad (just like in my 1985 animatic 😭).
So Miles decides to renounce prosecution. He rips off his cravat and throws it in the garbage in Diego’s office and declares that he’ll become a defense attorney. He also asks Diego is he could be his mentor to help him in both being better at defense law and also just being better with interacting with people.
He joins the Grossberg Law Offices and works alongside Mia and Diego to gather evidence on Dahlia Hawthorne, as he now too believes that she has done terrible things.
After Diego is poisoned, Miles freaks out because people just keep dying or getting hurt around him and it scares him. (Oh…baby boy just wait until Mia dies too-)
He takes the case to defend Phoenix, gets TERRIFIED when Phoenix eats the poison necklace, and then at the end, Phoenix was like “oh wow! You’re a defense attorney now?? Lmao when did that happen??” Bc he had been too busy simping over Dahlia. But Miles tells him that he should still pursue law so that they could work together and also so that Phoenix’s law classes and studying wouldn’t have gone to waste. So Phoenix becomes a lawyer and works with Miles and Mia at the Fey & Co Law Offices until she dies and then it becomes Edgeworth & Co Law Offices because he had been a lawyer for longer.
I like the idea that in this AU, Phoenix and Miles obviously have huge crushes on each other, but these idiots still refuse to acknowledge or admit it <3
Also :((( when Diego wakes up, he still goes on his whole antagonist arc as Godot, and Miles refuses to tell Phoenix the truth about who he is. See, I also like the idea that in this AU, Nick and Miles are still as cagey with their past and truths as they are in normal AA
As you can see, I am perfectly normal !! I think about ace attorney a very normal amount!! 🤭
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fairyumii · 8 days
Text
just a little stsg drabble i did for you guys <33
"Sugu! Look its a girl!"
"Satoru, are you stupid? You can't point at people its impolite!"
"Why is it just sitting there"
"I think she's crying.."
"Awww~, who made you cry?"
you just stared at them dumbfounded, you weren't even crying, you were lying on the grass as they hovered over you
"OH MY GOSH SUGU SHES SITTING UP"
"OH MY GOD SATORU SHUT THE HELL UP YOU'RE SCARING HER"
you carefully sat up and stared up at them
"H-hi!"
"Aww~! Your voice is so pretty. My name's Gojo !"
"My names Geto..."
"I'm Y/N !"
immediately you could tell the difference, Gojo was more laid back and playful while Geto was serious and well.... serious thats all. though you were different from them you guys established a strong friendship, standing up for each other, talking with each other, and basically doing everything with each other.
ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•。꒱໊੭━☆゚.*・。゚✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚<33
usually people say "Every trio has a duo" this isn't the case for your friendship. with you guys everything is different, i wouldn't necessarily say that they're the duo but they are in a sense??? I mean like they usually make plans to do stuff and force you to join them not leaving you alone just not letting you make the decisions ( lmao im sorry i don't make sense im new to making these things :((( )
for example they'll make plans for a sleepover without telling you you then just drag you along, not caring if you wanna go or if dont wanna go
"Huh~? Why didn't you plan it with me~, I could've made time for you guys! Besides I already have plans :(( sorry...."
"...Ah, I see..."
"Nooooo, darling~ You can't cancel them?? For us??"
"Sorry 'Toru, I can't we've been planning this for dayss"
"...Can we come?"
"YEAHHH! CAN WE COME PLEASSEEE MAY WE???"
"Sugu~, it's girls onlyyy"
both their eyebrows furrow and just blankly look at you
"......."
"......."
".......what"
"Wellllll, guess what darling!! You are either going with us to this girls only shit orrrr you ditch them and come to our sleep overr"
Geto just nods to his words while crossing his arms
"Darling, you wouldn't ditch us for them would you? We prepared this for days and canceled our plans for this too!"
of course Geto was going to manipulate you into coming with them, after all you're just a dumb pretty thing right? They could easily manipulate you into moving in with them how hard could this be? Perhaps not...
"No, I always cancel plans for them just to be with you guys. I know you planned this for a long time but I haven't seen my friends in a long time... You could bring Nobara to the sleepover!!"
"I don't want Nobara...."
"Well I don't wanna cancel my plans Sugu... Sorry maybe another time?"
"No, Y/n I said either we're going WITH you or you come with US"
i mean its ok right?? You'll just bring them with you can get this over with! You can probably make them wait in the car? wait no, you can't you aren't that cold hearted but if you bring them to an all girls sleepover its going to be awkward... maybe you could ask your friend if they can sleep on the couch? I mean maybe its an exception
"Mmm... You can come with me then.. I have to ask my friend about it though"
"...Really?"
"Ah, ok then you can ask them now"
"Mmk..."
you picked up your phone and attempted to stand up to go call your friend
"No, stay here put her on speaker I wanna listen please"
you reluctantly sat down and called her putting her on speaker
"Hii, you ok Y/n?"
"Mhm... I was just going to ask you if I can bring two of my other friends over?"
"best friends"
"Oh yeah, I mean best friends.."
"Oh! Yes of course! The more the merrier!"
"...What if they were the opposite gender..."
you could hear the pause as you started sweating with Geto and Gojo intently stared at you
"U-uhm... It's an all girls sleepover though...its going to be a little weird"
...well this was awkward as hell, you stared at them and saw Gojo pout a little while Geto glared so hard at the phone you swore it would shatter
"I-I promise they won't be any trouble! They'll sleep on the couch"
"I wanna sleep with you though..."
"No, it's my turn Geto shut up"
"No you shut the fuck up"
"Y/n~ he sweared at mee~"
"...Are they in the room with you right now?"
oh fuck
"No? What do you mean?"
"I jus' heard something sorry... I mean, I guess if they're ok with sleeping on the couch then sure thing! Just don't tell anybody else I don't want a bunch of girls bringing boys now..."
"Oh! Thank you! I'll get you snacks!"
"You don't have to~ but come earlier I wanna show you something!"
"Oh! Ok I'll come like 20 minutes earlier?"
"Mm, perfect! Mmk Cya!"
"Byee Cyaa~!"
she hung up as you glanced at the time, 3 more hours until the sleepover you got up and put your phone on the table
"Uhmm, wanna come with me to go get snacks?"
"YES PLEASEE"
"Yeah, I wanna come with you"
ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•。꒱໊੭━☆゚.*・。゚✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚<33
"Oh! Y/n you're- ... oh?"
she just nervously smiled staring at the men behind you glaring at her as you smiled at her seeming giddy
"Hii Aeri! Here, I picked some snacks out for you"
you handed her the bag as she let you guys enter, she just silently stared at the floor as you guys took off your shoes and put on your slippers
"U-uh, Y/n come! Lemme show you something!"
she said as she grabbed your wrist and dragged you somewhere, she seemed excited and happy, not noticing the men following you and her
"Y/NNNN I GOT A CAT LOOK ISN'T SHE CUTE? SHES THE SAME BREED AS YOURSS"
"OMG IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKS SIMI"
you bent down to pet it softly as she bent down next to you she picked it up and placed it in your arms
of course Geto and Gojo were annoyed that you were paying attention to a pesky animal besides they deserve your attention more all animals do are poo, eat, and sleep they didn't do anything to deserve your attention
ପ꒰⑅•ᴗ•。꒱໊੭━☆゚.*・。゚✮ ⋆ ˚。𖦹 ⋆。°✩⁺˚⋆。°✩₊⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆✧˚ ༘ ⋆。˚<33
"Y/n"
"Y/n"
"Y/niee~"
"Darling wake up"
you groggily opened your eyes as you stared into bright blue eyes and black eyes (please dont ask me how you can see black eyes in the dark :(( )
"W-what are you guys doing here? You're supposed to be on the couch..."
"Can't sleep without you..."
"This idiot kept kicking me and snoring.... I want to sleep with you not him..."
"...."
"...."
"...."
you sat up and looked around you seeing the door open with the girls sprawled on the floor and bed
"Mm, m'kay"
you really didn't have any energy to argue with them and scold them about coming in the room which they were specifically told not to go in
AIUSHDKJSHDFJK JIM SO SORRY JMY HANDS HURT LIKE HELL IM GONNNA RIGHT A PART TWO LATER >:(((
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skyeslittlecorner · 2 months
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As someone who's craving whb contents, i love ur scenarios so muchhhhhhh
I've seen the smol kings and it was so cute :33
Can i request the kings with smol mc, but maybe slight angsty because Mc lost their parents when they're young and stuff...
I'm so happy you find this entertaining, because I'm not going to stop lmao You're stuck with me. Poor things. Love you too
We've already had kings with a little shy MC, now it's time to see how they deal with a sad or crying one
We may say it's a little continuation of this request
Satan will let you cry if you want. Expressing emotions is healthy. He told himself that you can do whatever you want, even if it means yelling and snotting on his shirt. That doesn't mean he'll leave you alone; he'll hug you, and you can bury your face in his shoulder, covered with soft hair that smells like sunny cat fur. Safe and hidden from the whole world. If you're frustrated and want to beat him with your little fists, he's there for you, too. He understands your pain, as he also lost loved ones. Loses people every day in the war... he knows what it's like when your emotions control you more than you control them. Although you express it in a much less destructive way than he does. Maybe deep down, he envies you for being able to afford something like that.
Mammon will be very concerned. His little master is unhappy? Why, can he do something about it? Cuddled against a large chest and tucked into huge arms, you feel safe. But... unfortunately your pain doesn't come from outside, where Mammon can protect you, but from inside. He will rock you and try to gently distract you. He knows you very well. Whether it's a design show or just a playground, Mammon knows what you like and will take you there to cheer you up. And all his nobles will join him. You can count on hugs from Eligos and be carried in Valefor's arms, even Bimet will let you play and fly on his skulls.
Beelzebub, like Mammon, will try to comfort you, but in a less gentle way. Are you crying? These are definitely bad memories. He is also often tormented, and he has a way to deal with it. Break them down like soreness. You won't even have time to cry properly. Cuddled in his arms, you suddenly feel the strong smells of spices. Is this an Indian bazaar? Beel will grab vada pav for you and for himself, and while eating street food, you will watch how other snacks are prepared. A few moments later, you will find yourself in front of the coliseum, where you will watch an artist painting landscapes with sprays. (By the way, Italy, mafia, Beel feels at home here, don't let him into the fireworks stands.) Snowy Carpathians, mustangs on the prairies, atolls of coral reefs, when such a colorful kaleidoscope flashes before your eyes, you won't have time to cry. Beel will only breathe when you fall asleep in his arms. Even though he was entertaining and laughing with you the whole time, there was a boulder in his chest. Only passing tourists who see a handsome man with a child in his arms, sitting by the fireplace and staring into the flames, will be able to see that he is hunched over with worry.
Leviathan isn't the happiest when you're crying on his shoulder. You will see this, and you will want to run away from him, but he will grab you in his arms before you can. Who let you? It's better that no one sees you like this. Come. You will stay with him. He will wipe your tears with a tissue and tell you to blow your nose. Even if you are scared, over time, when you sit with him, you will realize that there is nothing to be afraid of. It's quiet and safe around. You won't even be warned for disturbing him at work. He will spend as much time with you as you need. But what will shock you the most... is his voice. He will walk with you in his arms and start humming softly. A voice more beautiful than an angel's, you will listen like a charm, although it is a purr quieter than a whisper. He simply did what he would like to receive if he were a crying child.
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imisscherryboy-blog · 8 months
Text
running back 2 u
enemies to lovers — football player! ajax x sports med! gn reader
part 2 part 3
spotify playlist ★
story: you and ajax have known each other since elementary school. those years haven’t been always the best, as you both parted ways due to your differences in personality. that is, until one hot august night, where the stadium lights illuminate the turf, you find yourself running back to him again.
notes: enemies to lovers, modern au, gender neutral reader, childe is referred to as ajax, last name tartaglia, american football, all characters are 18+ as seniors, highschool setting, use of american education system, reader is in a sports medicine class (if you don’t know what that is it’s basically students that help out at school games, usually water girls/boys/people, assist with injuries) i wrote this with the pov of the reader being a POC but if you’re not just disregard when i say white and stuff lmao + part 1/?, title is an nct reference, debating eventual smut, kaveh and alhaitham are gay
side characters featured: kaveh, alhaitham (alhaitham x kaveh)
warnings: swearing, vivid depiction/description of injury
★ part 1 of an ongoing series ★
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you hated ajax and ajax hated you. that much was safe to say. ever since that incident in 9th grade, you never talked to him, let alone acknowledged him. before that, you both had known each other since elementary school. everybody loved ajax, his teachers, his peers, and even you. he just had that personality that made everyone love him; but you knew him underneath that persona. you knew his flaws and he knew yours. he’d tell you things he’d never tell anyone, he trusted you. but, all good things come to an end. in the summer going into your first year at highschool, you found yourself never wanting to speak to him again. he ultimately became the person you two would make fun of together in prior years. a typical, white, football player. but damn was he a good running back. he used to be so charming, but now he was just a playboy that had a new girl in his bed every week. you hated him for it, you hated the person he became, but you mostly hated how he’d plague your mind like a disease.
the day of the game finally came. you and kaveh both wore your school’s varsity jackets and jeans. you guys trudged the god foresaken orange gatorade cooler out to the field for the junior varsity and freshman team. the jv game had just finished, and you began setting up for the varsity game.
“y/n, i can tell you’re scared about ajax.”
“wow kaveh, you’re sooo observant.” you said sarcastically as you both were now in the utility room, filling the water bottles for the players.
“listen, you probably won’t even have to talk to him. as much as he likes to talk behind your back, he’s scared of you. you literally know EVERYTHING about him, you could ruin his reputation in milliseconds.” kaveh had a point. you knew his deepest and darkest secrets, but he unfortunately knew yours as well. you screwed the last lid of the water bottle on tighter than usual as you responded.
“thanks kaveh, but promise me you’ll be the one giving him his water, not me.” kaveh laughed as you said this.
“i’d actually be more than happy too! he’s pretty fine anyways…”
“kaveh— please.” you sighed as kaveh only laughed louder. you walked out to the field, the sky a pretty hue of pink as the jv players left and students filed in the bleachers for the real game. you made your way to the bench, right next to the field and placed the water bottle trays down, as cheering filled the stadium, you both looked behind you.
“ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, our undefeated, five-time league winners, the varsity football team!” the announcer said as the cheers only got louder. the varsity boys ran onto the field, ajax leading the team. you rolled your eyes. you’d admit, he looked good in the navy blue and white jersey, adorning the number 11. ajax was the captain and star of the team, his stats practically outdid any other running back in the county. he ranked first for almost every category, he was a good running back, you’d give him that at least. but at that moment, a feeling came over you. you felt jealous. jealous of the new cheerleader girl he was seeing, jealous of his success, you irrevocably hated him.
“god alhaitham looks good.” kaveh said, very much distracted when they began to sing the national anthem.
“you’re shameless, kaveh.”
“well, the national anthem definitely did not include gay people so…”
the game began, and the annoying and repetitive chants from the cheerleaders almost got stuck in your head. they even had a special one for their glorious star boy tartaglia! you could give zero fucks about him and his stupid chant, but you couldn’t help but notice him staring you down as the rival team took a time out. he gulped his water, sweat dripping from his slicked-back hair, before returning back to the field. as promised, it was kaveh’s job to offer him water, not yours. when one team scored, the other followed suit, the game was neck and neck. watching ajax skillfully receive alhaitham’s (the quarterback) throws and run it was something you could watch all day. but you hated him, so you pretended to look busy every time the home team ran a point. it was halftime now, and you and kaveh hung around the bench. they were up by only two points, it was practically anyone’s game, but that’s what makes the epic highs and lows of highschool football, right?
“swear to god, ajax keeps looking at you.” kaveh whispered to you as you refilled the green water bottles. the boys went into the team room as you and kaveh stayed outside. ajax’s fan girls in the stands had finally calmed down. you just looked at him and looked away as you continued to fill up the water. “like, every time he scores a touch down, he’ll do his stupid little celebration and he’ll glance over here—and then i’d look at you, and of course—‘oh, she’s trying to look distracted and pretend to not care again!’.” kaveh rolled his eyes at you, looking at you for an answer. “you still care about him, don’t you?” this time, you didn’t look at him and just stared at the bottle.
“yeah, like i’d give two shits about the school fuck boy. it’s just, i can’t help but remember how he used to be, that’s all.” it was a blatant lie, and kaveh knew. but he decided to stop pressing where it hurts. and just like that, half time was over and the team looked spent, but they still had 30 minutes to clutch. the cheers started up again. another touchdown, and chants of his name were the only things heard in the stadium. you felt surrounded. you just wanted to go home.
finally, the seventh minute began. the scoreboard emitting a soft glow displayed both home and away teams tied. everyone on the bleachers were all sat for these final minutes. including you. you watched intently with kaveh and your sports med teacher on the bench as they hiked the ball.
“alhaitham, number 9 is going for a throw,” the commentator’s voice reverberated through the field. alhaitham spots ajax, right on the 30 yard line, centered on the field. alhaitham takes a couple steps back and throws, the ball spins with accuracy. the crowd and kaveh all cheer.
“a dot! per usual from quarter back alhaitham, how many yards can their star running back score for the team!” ajax grabbed the ball and went for a right hook, swiftly dodging the defenders. he only got faster and faster as the cheers grew louder. he hooked right, and made his way for that touch down line.
“ajax! ajax! ajax!” the crowd chanted as kaveh and your teacher were now standing. you watched him closely, all of a sudden remembering back to when the two of you competed in your middle school’s flag football tournament. he had signed you up without you knowing, and you both somehow cinched first place.
“oh my god—” kaveh’s gasp snapped you out of your thoughts, as you looked onto the field.
the bleachers were silent now. ajax laid on his side, clutching his knee. the ball was long forgotten now.
“it appears number 11 is down.” the commentator remarked. your heart sank to your ass. you knew that knee injuries could fuck up anyone’s career in seconds. especially a running back’s. before you knew it, you were standing, your teacher yelled something to kaveh as he began running toward him to see what happened, you stood frozen. the cries of his fan girls behind you were the only things you could hear, kaveh was trying to tell you something, but you kept looking at ajax’s writhing body and back to kaveh, and back to ajax, and now at the rival team, and back to kaveh.
“y/n! are you listening? this is serious!” kaveh’s voice was almost a yell.
“i-i’m sorry, what do you need me to do?” you blinked a couple times.
“get the ice pack!” he yelled as kaveh made his way to the scene, the rival team went back to their bench as they were in small groups, most likely talking about what happened. you grabbed the ice pack from the cooler and ran over. his eyes were screwed shut as he cursed loudly, your teacher asking where it hurt.
“ah fuck, my knee! motherfu—” ajax bit back his curses with the back of his hand. your teacher radioed for a golf cart, which made you confused because you’d think someone would be calling 911.
“shouldn’t we be calling an ambulance..?” alhaitham asked, kneeling next to kaveh and ajax’s head. kaveh visibly looked flustered.
“y-yeah. we should! as a matter of fact, why don’t i just call them right—” your teacher cut kaveh off as he interjected.
“it’s a torn acl, if we call an ambulance right now, all they’ll do is give him some ice and painkillers which we very much have. we’re not spending 6k for an ice pack. save that money for the surgery.” your teacher remarked.
“the what..?” ajax looked at him with wide eyes as a campus supervisor came with a golf cart, the crowd was at a stand still.
“kaveh, stay here and take over for me. y/n, come with me.” you knew ajax’s injury was nothing life threatening, but you couldn’t help but worry for his future. you nodded your head as you and your teacher got into the front seat of the golf cart, cursing kaveh in your head, wishing it was him to take your place. ajax’s teammates carefully laid him on the golf cart and he cursed at them to be more careful. you rolled your eyes.
“ajax, we’re gonna need you to talk to us, we can’t have you passing out.” your teacher drove the golf cart to the recovery room, making sure to drive slowly over any bumps.
“you want me to talk? well, a torn acl is gonna ruin my goddamn career—fuck!” the golf cart jerked forward a little, making him curse.
“it’s probably not completely torn, ajax. you’ll recover in no time.” your teacher said.
“you’ll probably be out for the season.” you added, you couldn’t help but add a little salt in the wound.
“you’ll be out for the fucking year if you don’t shut the fuck up.” ajax snapped back at you.
“you need some ice dipshit?” you turned around with the ice pack and tossed it onto his knee, making him yell out in pain.
“what the FUCK is wrong with you—” he yelped in pain again, you just rolled your eyes.
“y/n! cut it out! you too, ajax. we’re here.” the teacher took the key out of the golf cart and looked at you. “i need to call his parents and file a report for the insurance, i’m trusting you to patch any cuts and tape his knee for the time being. keep the ice on it—and please don’t assault him.” your teacher was already on their way as they headed towards the office. you didn’t even get a minute to protest.
“no fucking way they just left me with this loser.” ajax scoffed from the back seat of the golf cart.
“at least my knee still works.” you grabbed the key and unlocked the recovery room, it had a couple of medical beds and cabinets filled with all kinds of medical equipment. you turned the lights on as you heard ajax outside yell.
“now you’re just leaving me? jesus, i couldn’t have asked for someone better to help me.” you ignored him as that was not what you were doing. you went to the smaller room in the back to get a wheelchair to get him onto one of the beds. you walked back outside, ajax’s face turned from one of pain to an angered look the minute you stepped outside. you wheeled the wheel chair to him.
“get on.” you said with little to no remorse.
“yeah let me just fly onto the fucking wheel chair why not. can you help me?” ajax yelled as he tried to sit up straight on the back seat. you scoffed and somehow got him onto the wheel chair. you both were silent, but you knew when ajax went quiet, he was overthinking. you knew he was thinking about what he’d do with his injury. you decided to give him something else to think about.
“it’s not that bad ajax. you survived skateboarding into a brick wall, i’m sure you’ll be fine.” you brought up an old memory the both of you shared.
“everyone saw. even the fucking scouters—i’m done for.” your words seemed to fly past his head. almost like he forgot about you and his’ history. you helped him onto the medical bed and made him sit straight so you could tape his knee. you went into the back room to get more ice. from the main room, you heard him start talking again.
“when i ran into that brick wall, you were the only one there. i didn’t have scouters that could get me d1 scholarships.” he remarked. he did remember at least. you came back with a roll of medical tape and some ice.
“you need to roll you pants up past your knee.” you went for the straight forward route as anything else would’ve gotten too awkward.
“yeah no fucking way that’s happening, cut it off for all i care.” you figured getting the leg of the pants over his injury wouldn’t be the most best of things, so you grabbed a pair of scissors and cut his pants just above his thigh. he hissed in pain even though you didn’t even touch it. he was always this dramatic, you thought to yourself. you unrolled the pieces of tape and got to work. if ajax was good at football, you were the best at sports medicine. you knew how to wrap an ankle like second nature—a big part of the reason why your teacher asked you to assist, not kaveh. he went quiet again, and you’d much rather have him yelling at you than overthinking the situation after all this.
“how’s teucer?” you asked as he hissed whenever you’d place a piece of tape on his knee.
“w-why do you care? can you be any more gentle?” you looked up at him and kept working. you weren’t any gentler, you just worked slower to make it look like you were. he fell for it easily.
“he’s fine. he just graduated elementary—ow, school.” he responded after a minute passed.
“that’s good.” you said in quieter-than-usual tone. you couldn’t deny it was still awkward between you two. you hadn’t had a conversation like this in practically years, and you never thought you would have to. “so what exactly happened out there? you trip or something?” you knew he didn’t trip. you also knew that ajax had a tendency to overestimate himself, overall causing him more harm than good.
“the turf must’ve been off.” he said looking away. ajax was well aware he let himself get cocky. it was the final minutes of the game and he wanted to end it off strong. in doing so, he got himself a torn acl. good going ajax.
“mhm..”
“what? don’t believe me?” before you could answer the question, your teacher walked in. the first thing ajax asked was if they won the game or not. his “half touchdown” didn’t count, leaving them still tied.
“we won. but it was still a close call.”
ajax looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. he was already upset with his injury, and a loss especially with their title as undefeated would be 10x worse. you tried to look normal, but in truth, you were a little happy for the team. after all, you had some sense of school pride.
“your mom is outside. i’ve talked to her already and explained the injury in length. please focus on resting, then let’s talk about your next games.” with that, your teacher left you both alone again.
“can you walk?” you asked.
“i’ll try.” he said wincing as he got up. you went to his side and put his arm around you. it was silent. you helped him to the parking lot, occasional swears were heard from him. you said his mom waiting outside of the car.
“oh sweetie!” ajax’s mom held him tightly.
“hi mom, i’m fine.” his words were muffled into her shoulder.
“oh goodness, let’s get you in the car!” she helped him into the passanger seat. they spoke to each other in russian, it sounded like he was getting scolded. it was none of your business anyway. after doing so, she came back out.
“y/n? i remember you!” she said, giving you a hug.
“hi mrs tartaglia.” ajax’s mom had a soft spot for you. she’d always pack you extra food, and would never fail to treat you like one of her own, it made you happy. due to the circumstances, you hadn’t seen her in what felt like years.
“how’ve you been? we’ve missed you!” her hand stayed on your shoulder, her voice was genuine. but who exactly did she mean by “we”?
“i’ve been alright, thanks for asking.”
“ajax still talks about you, you should come over some time! teucer and tonia miss you!”
huh?
did you hear that right?
maybe it she didn’t actually mean it like that, why would ajax still be talking about you?
ajax rolled down the window and stuck his head out.
“mom i’m hurting let’s go.” he half shouted.
“alright, alright. i’ll see you soon hopefully, y/n! thank you for looking after ajax!” she said with a warm smile as she got back in the car before you could say a word. you simply waved and smiled back at her. you glanced over for a second, seeing ajax on his phone. you didn’t understand. did ajax really stil talk about you? you’d have a lot to tell kaveh..
the two of them left the parking lot in their black tahoe suv. you just stood and watched. you cursed to yourself. you couldn’t understand why ajax’s words pulled at your heartstrings a little. you were confused. and things would only get more confusing from there.
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fairytoge · 3 months
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dating headcanons ; k.choso, z.naoya
notes!!
this only took me like,,, four months to complete this 😭 but i hope you enjoy!!
other parts ; n.kento, g.satoru, g.suguruㅤi.yuuji, f.megumiㅤi.toge, o.yuuta
m.list
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k.choso
the loml choso (not including all the other lomls)!!
but anyway!!! choso is an absolute sweetheart, as long as you're not fighting against him in a battle or anything
he 10000% would do pretty much anything and everything to make you happy or to just make you smile
he loves you sm it makes other people cringe... you two are definitelyyy the couple people see in public and slightly grimace at because they're so in love
he'd probably do subtle pda but if you don't like that sort of stuff, he wouldn't do it!! he loves you too much to make you uncomfortable and push your boundaries
he's basically like a typical gentleman?? like when people say that men aren't like how they used to be, choso is their ideal man!!!
summary: he's so in love and whipped for you
but it's vvvvv endearing!!!
i think, as soon as you two begin officially seeing each other, he'll want to introduce you to his brothers and get their opinion on you too
they mean the world to him and he would probably love nothing more than for the people he loves most to also be friends!!
someone help me the older brother issues are realll
but yeah, he's just a sweetheart and would worship you like a god if you asked him to <3 (he does that without you asking 🤭)
choso would also go along with whatever you say 99% of the time!! the 1% off is when it endangers you lmao
if you call him some dumb nickname or do the trend where you call a s/o the most random things, he will genuinely take it as a compliment so seriously that it makes your heart hurt
he's a bitttt naive, but you love him!! and he definitely loves you omg
z.naoya
i hate his personality but he's hot 😔 so!! this is gonna be kind of ooc for him icl
dating naoya issss.... interesting? he's got a unique character for sure
realistically, you probably wouldn't see him that often assuming that he's a full-time sorcerer and you are a housewife (or househusband!!)
but, the times that you do see him, you are both so sappy and touchy with each other, no matter who or what is around
naoya is spoiled, so it doesn't come as a surprise to know that he has always been able to get what he wants, and that nothing has changed since he was a child
with this in mind, he would definitely not be shy about pda, unless you're both in a proper environment like a clan meeting i guess...
he probably wouldn't even let you in there though 😭 his superiority complex is off the charts
pleaseee start training him to not act like a creep
leading on from this!! naoya would treat you like a princess if you're both truly in love, and would stop at nothing to get you what you want!
you mentioned that you would like the garden to be redesigned so that you can plant more flowers? done! the kitchen isn't to your standards? it's gone before you can look at it for another second!
suddenly you understand why he is the way he is, because if this is the life he's been living, it's 100% worth it lmao
i also feel like naoya has tunnel vision for you!!
like, let's say that he's come home from exorcising a curse, or from a particularly hard mission, and being more impolite to the servants than normal as he literally hunts you down in your own home
he lowkey scares you but not in a bad way?? he's just kind of intimidating sometimes, without meaning to be!
overall, naoya would probably be a good s/o to have!! as long as he loves you 😭
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© fairytogeㅤ ꔫㅤ please do not copy, repost, translate, etc without my permission
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jinnxedy · 5 months
Note
Do you take requests for your writings?
If not, just ignore this...
I read one of your headcannons about Abby that says that she treats the stuff animals she gifted to her s/o like if they were their children.
One day, she comes home in a bad mood after a stressful day and takes out her anger in reader and make a comment about it.
"Stop treating them like that. They're not real"
But of course, she apologized and had a happy ending.
Take your time and take care 🫶
Hii, this is such a good request, thank you for suggesting this 💕 I hope you like it and I hope it meets your expectations!
Disclaimer: not much, just some cursing, mentions of clickers and such? Don't know If this is considered angst with happy ending, but I doubt it. English not being my first language, idk lmao I think that's it.
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Abby wasn't having it today. Everything and everyone irritated her, the patrols, clickers, Isaac being on her ass every second, could people be more annoying today?
She doesn't know what's going on with her, she couldn't talk to anyone without making a snarky, backhanded comment. Don't get her wrong, she feels so bad for it, but she doesn't have time for apologies. It's too much for her, she says.
Walking back to her shared room with you, she could feel her own body giving up. Her legs weak, head pounding, shoulders tense, jaw clenched, you get the gist.
She just wants, no, needs some rest.
As soon as she opens the door, she's met with the sight of you laying in bed, plushies all around you. You were reading one of Abby's books, and honestly they were too boring for your taste. It's not like you had other things to focus on. You had one of your favorite stuffed animals in hand, holding it for some sort of comfort. Truth is, you've missed Abby, not being able to see her all day was torture.
You diverted your gaze away from the book to Abby, a genuine smile quickly painted onto your face. Dropping the book back at the nightstand and rushing to her side, you hug her.
And listen, Abby loves your hugs, but she's had a long day. The sudden and unexpected contact made her grunt in pain, pulling back from the hug unintentionally. Her eyebrows scrunching a bit as she closed her eyes and sighed in slight annoyance.
You were hurt to say the least, she's never reacted like this to your touch, you've never seen her so hostile towards you.
"Abby... is everything okay, did I do something wrong?" Your voice soft, gentle, and careful. You were scared of getting a bad reaction out of her.
It was so weird, the way she just dismissed your question and went right to bed. You hummed quietly to yourself, almost in disbelief of this girl's behavior.
I mean, the fuck?
Abby huffed at the feeling of one of your stuffed animals poking her back as she laid down back in the bed, rolling her eyes and throwing it across the room. You stare at her wide eyed, a scolding look on your face
"What the hell was that for?" You didn't raise your voice, but you were assertive, you needed to know what was going on with her today. "Why did you throw the poor guy? He didn't deserve that" You said jokingly, hoping she knew you wanted to light the mood up a little.
Still, Abby failed to get the small joke. "Stop treating them like that. They're not real" You didn't fail to notice her bitter tone, taken aback by it.
You weren't offended by the words, after all they weren't directed towards you, but the way she spoke and treated you earlier, that made it for you.
"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you today? You're being such an asshole to me, I didn't do anything. Apologize, talk to me, do something... anything." You sounded hurt, your face filled with worry.
Just then, Abby realized how she treated you. You didn't deserve this, what was she thinking?
She sat on the bed, thinking of what to say, only inaudible and incomprehensible apologies coming out. She was rambling, fumbling over her own words, only making her more frustrated.
You sighed and sat down beside her, putting your head on her shoulder and holding her hand, offering comfort and support. Abby took a moment before talking again, enjoying your soft touches here and there, not failing to calm her down. This is just what she needed, your soft fingers running up and down her arms and hands, you were her own personal haven.
"I'm so, so sorry. Please, forgive me" Her voice sounded meek, vulnerable, her hands looking for your own, needing you to make her feel better.
You saw the desperate look on her eyes, and you felt so bad for the poor girl.
You just held her all night, running your fingers through her hair, kissing all over her face, anything to lift her spirits up. Abby loved it, the way you caressed her, held her with such care and love, your delicate fingers tenderly grazing all over her skin.
Abby doesn't know what she would do without you, you complete her perfectly.
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Note
OK SO WHILE I WAS WATCHING SOME TOKIO HOTEL EDITS I GOT THIS IDEA(if it's too much feel free to ignore and I'm sorry if I confused you, I'm not good at explaining😭😭AND I LOVE YOUR WRITINGS GIRLY❤️😘)
Ok so. Modern! Dad! Tom Kaulitz with teen twins(maybe around 15-16 or sum). Like one daughter and one son. Both of them are super sassy and aren't scared of confrontation like they are really confident, they don't care what anyone thinks of them(like they laugh at haters and stuff) yet they take no disrespect especially not towards their dad or the other twin. Tokio Hotels' younger fanbase also literally simps for them and stuff, like they make edits of them and stuff. The twins also really remind everyone of Tom when he was their age. Like the boy, he has the same style his father did just with a little more modern touch to it. And the girl, her style consists a mix of Tom's style too. For exampld: cargo/parachute pants, tube tops, bralette/crop tops, trapper/biker/cadet caps, beanies, platform heels/boots(Demonias), oversized shirts/hoodies, hoop earrings, chains, bead bracelets, long acrylic nails, etc. . Like whenever anyone sees the twins, you know their outfits are never boring/dry. Like the girl is an absolute maneater and the boy is a womanizer(but they have admirers of all genders). Like both twins especially the girl really love Heidi because let's just say their bio mom went to get milk right after they were born. And like how would the relationship with their uncles(Bill, Georg and Gustav) be?
I know this is a hell lot so I won't be surprised if you just ignore it LMAO💀💀
(I love this idea sm hold up I'm finna add it to my Dr but Bill lmao. And so worries, I did a lot to match this so I hope you enjoy!)
Kaulitz Twins Gen #2
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The media went crazy when you guys were born
Or being brought into the world
If you do the math, Tom was only seventeen and even he was freaking out
Especially with your mother and media and his career
But, with help from the band, he actually managed to become a good dad
Tried to help your mother stay but she just walked out
He never really looked for her, thinking if she could leave two beautiful kids like you guys she didn't deserve to even be looked for
Or if she ever wanted anything from Tom after she left he told her to fuck off
He didn't think he would be a good dad
Until he finally held you guys in the hospital room
Then he finally realized maybe, he would be a good dad
And he promised to never fuck it up
And he didn't!
Bill was happy to meet you guys, Georg was happy for Tom and sorta excited for two kids runnings around the stage while Gustav was a bit nervous but happy nonetheless
Bill always took you guys out and dressed you up when you guys were kids
No matter your gender
Georg let you guys rain hell, eat candy, stay up, even bought you guys a puppy to spite Tom
Gustav was a more relaxed uncle who let you guys do what you want but be careful while doing it
As you guys grew older you grew up in the media eye
Especially because of who your family was and you needed to be brought on tour with them
Tom tried to control it but paparazzi would literally run after you guys when the band would try and shield you guys from them
Tom felt helpless in those situations and did his best to keep you guys safe
You were confused when you saw your dad upset and yelling at the random people with cameras and when you guys would go home he would apologize
You didn't know why he did but you knew they just made your dad upset
And that made you and your twin upset, very much
Whenever paparazzi would come around you guys would yell at them
Shit like "No pictures!" Or "go away!" "Leave us alone!" "Stop following us, weirdos!"
Your dad's and uncles taught you guys to speak your minds but couldn't help but be surprised when you guys yelled at paparazzi
When you were little you and your twin even threw shit at them for following you guys
You were like six mind you
Better paparazzi, not such prying and rude ones, actually found it funny and when you guys were photographed like that it went sorta media crazy
You guys were known as the second generation of Kaulitz Twins sort
You guys were very sassy, spoke your mind and didn't care what people thought of you guys even from a young age
If expressed any interest in media, like modeling, singing and your twin did too Tom would let you guys
He would watch over of course but you guys did modeling, photoshoots, even went into interviews when you guys were young
For being teenagers you guys had quite the fanbase
You guys aren't scared of confrontation at all
Like one time someone was giving your Uncle Bill a hard time at a signing and wouldn't leave him alone
You and your twin went over, pushed them away and started yelling at them to back up or you would have to put them on their ass
Safe to say they left
Bill was surprised but your dad was very much proud
He didn't raise you guys to take bullshit
Tom admires that you guys could be so confident even at a young age
You guys genuinely do not care about being talked about or what people think about you guys
You guys have so much fun making fun of haters and laughing at them
Especially ones that try and "confront" you guys in public
You even told one "Get the fuck out my face." Laughing so hard your twin had to hold you up as Tom lead you guys away
Tom likes that you guys don't any bullshit from anyone
Especially when you guys defend him and your twin
You guys don't stand for hate and God help anyone who tries you guys
You have fought a few people when it got out of hand
They were talking shit so I say it was justified
You and your twin poke fun at how the younger fans already are simping for you guys
You are sorta like your dad when he was young in that tense
Like you guys play with hearts, flirt, tease and shit like that
You guys see edits and posts about you guys and how people find you guys attractive
You guys are constantly commenting on the edits and shit like that or are so smug about it
You guys like the attention you guys get so much
You guys like the reactions you get from fans when they see you guys saw their edits or posts and are giving them attention
You guys are too much like your father
So much so you remind everyone who your dad is everyday by simply existing
Your brother has a few collections of your dad's old clothes back then and wears them a lot
Like his shirts, hats, pants and bands that Tom wore he has a lot of them, the ones that weren't donated
Your brothers style is almost exactly like your dad's and everyone sees it
Except it has a more modern touch and a few more stuff your brother incorporated
Your style was the most surprising to everyone but not at the same time
Your style was definitely influenced by Bill when he dressed you up when you were younger
Your style everytime you wear something makes a statement and is always photographed or edited by fans
Doesn't help you look fucking good in everything you wear
Some stuff is sorta revealing and short so obviously Tom being that dad he is says stuff like
"That's too short. You look good, I know, hon, but what if you get cold?"
Get Heidi to talk to him, and plus your his little girl so he lets you rain hell if you wanted too
Bill absolutely loves your style and helps you pick out what to wear
Is holding your hand above your head, spinning you to get a full look of the outfit and applauding y'all's work
None of your family stands for any shaming of your outfits though
Especially when people say you're asking for attention or are dressed too skimpy and shit like that
Your response is always the same, that you want the attention and to fuck off
But when you're not wearing stuff like that you also wear some of your dad's old clothes or stuff that fit his style back then
Especially his shirts and his old pants
Everyone knows when you step outside your outfits are gonna be fucking good
Always making a statement and never leaving in a "basic" outfit
Tips you find from uncle Bill that are always helpful
You guys have a lot of fans, all genders, who simp for you guys and some even throw themselves at you guys
Let's just say you guys take up some offers
But you guys are described as two twins who is a maneater and a womanizer
You guys are exactly like your father in that sense when he was your age
He tries to get you guys not to like players or absolute dick like he was when he was your age
He just wants you guys to be safe and not play around with people's hearts
But bring up old interviews and he'll leave you guys to your own devices
You guys flirt, tease, kiss and sometimes more with fans but he's still your dad so he'll object
He'll take you guys away when he sees that so be careful not to do it flat out in front of your dad
Be sneaky, whisper and sneak off
You both really love Heidi
She's your mom
Not step mom or anything but your mom as she took you guys in and raised you as her own kids when she didn't need too
You and your brother are a mama's boy, mama's girl, daddy's girl and daddy's boy
You both love them equally no matter what
You both really loved by both your parents and your siblings
You helped your dad propose to Heidi and we're so excited when they got married
You two were so happy to see your parents happy and officially have siblings
You guys are little schemers with Heidi's kids
Heidi helps you guys with anything and no matter what it could be
Heartbreak, outfits, crushes, stress, happiness, anything and she is there
Even if your mom tried to come back in your life Tom and Heidi would leave it up to you guys
But when you say no it's a weight off their shoulders
You call Heidi mom and so does your brother
The first time you did Heidi froze for a moment but couldn't help but pecker kisses all over your guys' faces and hug you guys
You're her kids and she wouldn't have it any other way
You guys are very famous around the world and it can be very stressful at times
But with your uncle's, dad, mom and your twin, you wouldn't change it for anything
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messrmoonyy · 2 months
Text
- you sunshine, you temptress
Tess Servopoulos x Female reader
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Request- already in like Jackson, and so Ellie and Joel live together but Tess doesn’t. They’re new in town so they’re still not used to the whole nice civilized thing, but the reader is her nice neighbor who wears her down. She plants stuff and even like cooks for tess. But she’s not a wimp either, very skilled with guns and stuff. Just a fic where they meet and like reader takes care of Tess. Smut too if you want
A/N- I took this request and ran with it. It took me a long ass time I apologise but I do really like how this turned out. It became far more angsty than I’m sure you wanted it to be but. Here we are. I wanted to explore an idea that Tess didn’t like Jackson and took time to adjust, didn’t really like reader as well. Tess leaning to adjust and love and be loved. Also in transferring this over none of my italics saved and I could’nt be fucked to go back through this again and add them back lmao
Warnings- 18+ | tess is quite low for the majority of this, canon compliant discussions of death and violence, vague/ implied smut (wc- 13.2k )
Tess masterlist | AO3 - Tess requests are open but not currently top priority
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SPRING
Tess didn’t like Jackson. Not at first. The drastic change from Boston to the nomadic lifestyle she had been living with Ellie and Joel as they crossed the country had been difficult enough. But to then transfer to something so wildly different from both of those things? Yeah. It took some getting used to.
She didn’t quite know what she had been expecting really. Maybe something like Boston but without the soldiers. Small pockets of people doing their own things to get by, together for safety but nothing much else. Not the working, thriving town she had walked into. Not the cleanliness, the stores, the diner, the hot water- that apparently was only a little temperamental in the colder months compared to year round like Boston- and clean clothes. Jobs. Families. Farming. She felt like she was in an alternate dimension.
She didn’t like the way everyone was so… cheerful. Which was a weird thing to say, but it was true. Because it threw her off.
She had developed her own bubble of happiness with Joel and Ellie over the months. They laughed together at Ellie’s shitty jokes, shared in her joy when she found a can of ravioli she liked. But would be stoney faced in an instant to protect each other. Joel and Ellie she loved like family, they were her family. She was used to warm smiles from them, a desire to be near her and talk to her. She wasn’t used to it from others.
Other people were scared of her. They moved out of her way and they did as she asked. They kept their heads down in case they upset her and they didn’t cross her path. But not in Jackson. No.
They smiled at her in the street, asked her how she was, said good morning.
And it spooked her. She didn’t like it. And she hated that she didn’t. That she had become so hardened that genuine kindness scared her. Because no one was kind anymore. No one showed care unless they wanted something else in return.
So she didn’t know how to take it. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the new found trust people had in her, their ease at having her around. To her surprise Joel didn’t seem to be struggling as much. He had Tommy back after all and that seemed to be easing his discomfort. Ellie was fitting in… kinda. Her colourful vocabulary and brashness had put some of the kids off at first. But they seemed to be warming to her now.
So it was just her. Trapped in some odd isolated headspace where she didn’t quite know what to do. She didn’t mention it to Joel, didn’t want to interfere with him and Tommy as they rebuilt their relationship again. Maria had tried to pull Tess into things more, and Tess liked her. Maria didn’t take shit, she had power and was in charge. People respected her. And she didn’t let Tess mope around for too long either.
But even Maria couldn’t quite pull her out of that disconnected state completely.
Part of her felt she was being ungrateful. She was alive and as safe as anyone could possibly hope to be in the current climate. Joel was alive. Ellie was alive. She was alive. But there was just… something.
Maybe a sick part of her missed it. Missed Boston. But then again maybe it wasn’t so sick. She hadn’t liked Boston really. But spending so long in one place would always make it hard to leave behind. Even the things she had so often complained about. She found she couldn’t even sleep on her new bed, Jackson having been looked after for so long that the mattress was actually still soft. She was too used to the lumpy one in the zone, and sleeping on the ground for months.
She’d been sleeping on the couch since she’d arrived. If she even managed to sleep at all, unable to fall asleep on the soft sheets and bed.
She missed her power too. Got tetchy when she thought about who was running operations back in the zone now. Who was living in her and Joel’s apartment, had they found their stash? Who was selling her shit and walking around like she had? She had to remind herself she shouldn’t care. That wasn’t her life anymore. It never would be again. Boston was a distant memory she needed to put to rest.
But it was difficult.
The new house felt too big. The town too clean. The people too nice. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do with herself. She mildly regretted living separately from Joel. Just out of… familiarity. She wasn’t used to such an open space to herself. Even before the outbreak the house she had shared with her husband and son hadn’t been so big. And she had had two other bodies to fill the space.
In Boston that tiny apartment she had had Joel to fill the gaps.
But she knew she couldn’t impose on him any longer. Joel was handsome and mellowing. He would no doubt find someone in town… and she couldn’t be the one to stand in the way of that. Especially seeing as she herself had no desire to go there. Their relationship had always been purely platonic and she had no intention of changing that.
So when Maria had asked, she had taken her own place. Ellie had taken the garage. They all had their own space. But those two seemed far better at living in it than she was.
It had taken that stark shift though for her to realise that maybe she simply wasn’t made for being alone. She had met her husband in college. They had moved in together immediately after, and had their son young. Then she’d fallen into the group heading for Boston, met Joel… she’d never really been alone.
Though she also wasn’t particularly doing anything to change that either. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. Back in Boston she’d get lonely from time to time, would go out and pick someone up with ease. Now? She didn’t know where that confidence had gone.
She felt people looking at her when she ventured out. She knew she wasn’t exactly unattractive, she knew people liked to look. But she had no desire to pursue. She didn’t even entertain them for a second. And they all grew bored of trying and moved on.
Everyone was friendly enough, but some kept their distance when they realised she wasn’t the… happiest of people. But one person didn’t let the permanent frown glued to Tess’ face deter them.
You.
You lived across the street from her, would wave hello every morning when Tess ventured out to find out what tasks Maria had to keep her busy for the day. You’d smile. You’d say hello. You even left her things on the porch.
And you liked flowers.
She gathered that pretty quickly. The window boxes were full, potted bushes and blooms littered your porch and edge of the dirt path street. It made her own place look incredibly dull. But maybe that was fitting.
She’d never been one for flowers. So expensive for them to just sit and wilt away in a vase, to be left with nothing but some crisped petals and dead stems within a week. So amongst the sandwiches and pies left at her door, the odd flowering embellishments she knew came from you.
A lot of people in town left stuff for her and Joel, to welcome them. To give them things they needed. She didn’t like accepting any of it. She didn’t like the feeling of… owing people. Feeling like they would have a hold over her, that they had given her a new jacket so now she owed them something. That you had left her a pie so now you were owed something too.
So she left the majority of it exactly where it was placed on the porch, Maria being the one to bring them inside for her.
“ You are gonna attract every damn animal in town if you keep leaving this stuff on your porch Tess “ Maria used as a greeting when Tess opened the door one morning, seeing the woman standing there with what seemed to be a loaf in her hands “ and wasting food? Really? Especially this? Now this looks delicious. Still warm too “ Tess scoffed but before she could speak she heard your voice.
“ Good morning Maria! Good morning Tess! “ she looked over Maria’s shoulder to see you jogging down your porch steps and waving, thankfully turning to walk into town rather than try and start a conversation
“ morning hun “ Maria responded with a smile, glancing over to Tess when she ignored you as she always did.
“ what? “ Maria sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in the way she so often did when she was at her wits end. Usually with Ellie and Joel’s bickering.
“ I’ve told you a million times. We all get along here. It’s a small town Tess, you can’t have grudges. Or.. at least public ones. I have a few secret ones myself “ Tess sighed and stepped back to let Maria inside, who only sighed too when she eyed the blanket on the couch “ you’re still sleeping on the couch? “
Tess brushed her off and grabbed her boots from by the door, sitting down to pull them on. She could already sense another of Maria’s lectures brewing, and the headache pulsing behind her temples made her hope she’d hold off on it.
“ I just fell asleep there I was… reading “ Maria did not seem even remotely convinced and walked through to place the bread down in the kitchen.
“ And what’s with the silent treatment with the doll across the street? “
“ she’s too… happy “ Maria laughed and shook her head
“ She's harmless. She’s kind “
“ she’s fuckin annoying “ Maria’s eyebrows flew up and she gave a small laugh again
“ Theresa “ it sounded almost scolding. Tess scoffed at that “ you sound like Ellie “ Tess scoffed again. Fucking Ellie?
“ calling me a kid now Maria? “
“ yeah. Cause you’re acting like one “ she sighed and stood with her hands on her hips, the way that told anyone nearby that she meant business. To shut the fuck up and listen to her “ you’re here now. And you need to stop isolating yourself “ she walked over to her and placed a hand to her arm, a gentle comforting squeeze “ I know it’s hard. I do. But you have to try “
She knew she did. She was just stubborn and stuck in her ways. And you really were… peppy. One of those people that seemed constantly in a good mood, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses and trying to spread your joy.
Tess’ own glasses had smashed a long long time ago. And she saw no reason for the amount of joy you seemed to hold.
“ I’m trying “
“ Try harder then “ Maria said before folding her arms and tilting her head a little as she watched her “ what’s going on with you? “ Tess stood up again and ran a hand through her hair, wishing she knew. Wishing she had the words to explain.
But how could she? How could she tell Maria that she wanted to go home? She wanted Boston back. That she felt out of place in Jackson and had never felt as lonely as she did in her entire life.
“ I’m fine. I’m just tired. Shall we go? “ Maria didn’t seem convinced but nodded, following her outside.
It was a nice day. Spring was in full swing now, in the weeks between Salt Lake City and settling into town the chill of winter had finally disappeared. She could see daffodils sprouting in the window boxes of your house. Her own were barron.
“ I’ve put you on farming rotation today. Sounds good? “ she nodded “ okay. It’s easy enough. Pot things, label things, pull things. It’s quite therapeutic “ she’d be the judge of that one.
She followed Maria around to the greenhouses, watching how people greeted her and smiled when they saw her. She didn’t know whether she was jealous or annoyed.
“ okay. Greenhouse 4, shouldn’t take more than a couple hours. When you’ve finished in there come find me if you want to help out some more. Okay? "She followed where Maria was pointing and stopped when she spotted someone already inside greenhouse 4.
“ are you fuckin kidding me Maria“
You.
Maria smiled and squeezed her shoulders, leaning close to her ear
“ Be nice “ Tess scoffed and turned to try and beg her to assign her anywhere else but there, but Maria was already walking off.
“ Maria- “
“ be. Nice! “
“ fuck “ she gave a frustrated huff and headed into the greenhouse, you turned around at the sound with that usual beaming smile on your face. She didn’t have the energy for this today. Didn’t have the energy for you.
“ Oh hi. I didn’t know I was paired with you today “ she stood not really knowing what she was supposed to do, annoyance practically steaming out of her ears “ you wanna get that side and I’ll continue with this side? Seeds are in that bag there, compost and soil is there, tools in the crate under the table. Okay? “
She gave a small nod and headed for the crate of tools, pulling out a small trowel and grabbing a pot. But she found her hands refusing to move. Simply staring down at the equipment in her hands. It felt like a weight was pushing down on her shoulders, crushing her chest, turning all of her muscles to lead.
“ I thought Maria would’ve had you trained up for patrols by now “ you said lightly, the sound of your trowel filling another pot “ from what I’ve heard your pretty handy with a gun “
What had you heard?
“ yeah “ she said, almost having to force herself to reply “ soon… they don’t like new people straight on patrol “ her hands still wouldn’t move.
“ figures. You could always ask her to put you on my regular route at first if you like. It’s one of the busier ones, you seem a little stressed. And well blowing the head off a clicker might be beneficial “ you laughed as you said it but quite frankly she felt you were right.
She didn’t like being unarmed. Adults in town were allowed to own their own weapons but weren’t to bring them out of their house unless they were heading on patrol. Her back pocket felt too empty without her gun there. Her fingers itched to hold it, if only for the familiarity of the metal on her fingers.
“ or why don’t you see if she’ll assign you on the hunting crew? Shooting rabbits isn’t exactly as fun as putting down clickers but. You know it’s something “ you seemed fully convinced that the answer to Tess’ supposed stress was killing something one way or another.
What had you heard about her? Who had been talking?
“ right “ she still hadn’t potted a single seed, some unmoving crushing sense of dread still heavy on her shoulders.
She didn’t know why the weight of her problems was weighing her down so heavily in the last few days. She didn’t know why she couldn’t just adjust to Jackson. Why was she feeling more anxious and depressed in the safest possible place she could be, than when she had been living under the looming threat of being murdered everyday?
No normal person's mind worked that way. No normal decent person craved the life she had once had. The familiarity back at least. She felt sick.
You were humming a song to yourself now. It felt irrationally loud in her ears. She could hear Maria’s voice in her head too. Telling her to try. To try be nice. Try to mingle.
“ thank you. For the bread “ she said in an attempt at conversation. She’d known it was you that had left it. Had seen the sprig of some kind of flower tucked into the cloth it was wrapped in. Obviously you “ but I don’t need charity “
“ it’s not charity “ you said, the sound of your tools stilling “ it’s a gift. I don’t know… welcome to town gesture that’s all “
“ Whatever it was. I don’t need it “ maybe this wasn’t exactly nice. But it needed to be said “ you can take it back if you want. I haven’t touched it “
“ alright “ she didn’t have to look at you to know your face would be reminiscent of a kicked puppy “ keep the lavender though. It’s calming… it’ll help you sleep” she turned around to look at you then. How did you know she wasn’t sleeping?
“ how- “
“ I came from a QZ myself, I spent years after that roaming. I know it takes time to adjust Tess. I barely slept a wink when I first got here… paranoid an infected was gonna jump me in my sleep or FEDRA was gonna come arrest me cause they suspected me of rebel activity… silly I know but. Our brains are hardwired into survival mode and it takes some time to shake it off “
It sounded genuinely sincere. Caring. She barely knew you and yet you seemed as though you actually wanted to help her. It made her skin prickle.
“ yeah. Well. I’m not you “ she turned back around as if to resume her previous activity. Though she had still not potted a single seed.
“ That's very clear “ even annoyed you sounded remotely cheerful still. Like no malice truly laced your words.
What was she doing here? The world was a hell hole, it was full of shitty people all doing shitty things. And there she was planting fucking carrots. In some odd altercation with you about her behaviour.
“ Tess? Everything okay? "Your hand falling on her shoulder shocked her into reality. She stepped away from your touch, moving so quickly it was as if you’d burnt her, heading for the door. She felt like she was suffocating she needed to get out “ Tess? “
“ I- I have to go “ you hurried out after her and she took a deep breath of the fresh air trying to calm herself. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t skittish and scared. She didn’t get anxious and erratic. She didn’t recognise herself anymore.
“ Can I do anything? I can get Maria or-“
“ look. I know you mean well. But I don’t need… any of this. I don’t need you thinking you’re helping all of the time “ her words were harsh and as much as you annoyed her, it was like looking at a kicked puppy “ just. Stop “
She turned away from you and headed straight for home. Home. Home that felt nothing like the word.
She felt ungrateful. People were sleeping out in the woods or in derelict buildings basically waiting to be attacked by infected. And she had a house. Warmth. Safety. But she couldn’t shake the feelings and she hated it.
She closed the town out behind her, closing the door and leaning against it to catch her breath. Why was this all so difficult for her? Why was she so incapable of adjusting to some kind of regular society again?
She debated talking to Joel. If anyone in town understood her it was him. Joel knew her inside out, could talk to her with just a look, knew what she was going to do before she did it. But he was settling in fine. He wasn’t struggling like she was. She didn’t want to weigh him down with that when he finally seemed so light.
She hid away for the rest of the day, almost expecting Maria to come and drag her back out again. But she didn’t to her relief. She had her peace and quiet to mope. To wallow in her own stupid sadness and isolation.
Until the evening.
She sighed when there was a knock on the door, probably Ellie ready to go charging around the room rambling off every piece of information about her day with an amused Joel in tow. Though she actually wouldn’t mind that.
But it wasn’t Ellie. Or Joel.
“ hey “
“ I thought- “
“ I know. Look. I just wanted to come and tell you I was sorry if I offended you or something. You just… you seemed like you needed a friend and I wanted to help “ she could tell you genuinely meant it. That you truly were one of those people that was just… nice. Good. Even after the past two decades that had twisted and warped so many others, herself included, you had somehow remained what she assumed was the same.
“ well I don’t… need any help “ you gave a small nod but didn’t immediately leave, shuffling a little awkwardly on the spot “ anything else? “
“ I noticed. I noticed you don’t have anything in the window boxes. I have some spare seeds… flowers can really help brighten the place up. I find that on sad days it’s always a little bit nicer to look at a flower than an empty box “ she opened her mouth to decline, to tell you she didn’t want you in her way. But you seemed to anticipate it “ you won’t even have to see me. Or talk to me. I can do it when you’re not home or if you are I can… I can just knock so you know I’m there. So you can wait for me to leave or- it’s just an idea “
She figured that in the long run giving you something to do that you might take as being helpful, might actually make you leave her alone a little more. And so, ever so slightly reluctantly, she sighed and nodded.
“ fine “ the smile on your face after that almost made her want to smile too. Almost. So kind. So genuine. So… bright.
“ yeah? Okay. Do you have any preferences? Or allergies? Colours maybe- “ she lifted a hand in a silent request for you to shut up.
Be nice.
She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a steady sigh, forcing some attempt at a smile onto her face.
“ anything. Anything is fine “ you gave a nod and turned slightly before pausing. You seemed to debate something for a moment before delving into your pocket and pulling out a small jar of something that looked like jam.
“ I know… I know you said you didn’t want- it goes real nice with the bread “ she waited a second before taking it from your hands. You said nothing else, just gave her a small nod of a goodbye and headed down the steps and across the street.
That evening she ate bread with the jam. It was annoyingly good.
———————————
You’d appeared the next morning to plant the seeds. And then you tended to them everyday. Watering them and doing god knows what to the soil. You would let her know you were there each time, a small knock on the door that you didn’t even mind if she didn’t answer. Just letting her know you were out there. Just as you’d said.
And as time passed she found herself answering it from time to time. Just poking her head around the door to see what you were doing, always there with your small watering can and a smile.
And that was okay. You were okay. Nothing else in her life felt right at that moment. But having a new constant did. And she had to admit that even when she woke up on the couch, rubbing at her sore neck, seeing the sprouts through the window almost made her crack a smile. Almost.
SUMMER
As the cold completely shifted from Jackson’s air she found that not even the warmth could truly raise her mood completely. Everyone in town seemed far more cheery, like the sun had some odd healing ability to make everyone more joyful after the bitter winter and the final week of spring which had been nothing but solid rain fall.
Though Tess, begrudgingly enough, found that her own joys still only stemmed from her family. But also from you. As much as she refused to admit it, she’d found herself looking forward to your small knocks on her door each morning, or on mornings where she left early for patrol she found herself almost hoping you’d be on the porch with your watering can and your smile.
Which she didn’t exactly understand or care to understand either. In fact she blatantly ignored the voices in her head warning that she was going soft. That she was beginning to almost look at you as some kind of friend.
She opened the door more often than not now, even made attempts to ask you about the flowers or ask about your day. You never probed her about herself which she liked. You didn’t pry. You let her be. You let her keep her walls fiercely guarded without so much as a complaint. And she kind of hated the fact that made her like you a little more.
And that morning was no different to the rest now, you had knocked and she had gone out to say hello. Had offered you tea and you had accepted as you so often did.
Her night had been filled with bad dreams. And she had feared that it would send her into another one of those days. Where she wanted to do nothing but hide and mope. But she had forced herself to go outside. At least to say hello.
Annoyingly to her, Maria had been right. And she lived there now. And that meant she had to try. She had to try adjust. Fit in. Be… nice.
She still felt wary around you. Maybe even more so because of how she was beginning to sort of like you. Or maybe tolerate was the better word. She told herself it was anyway. But she had been in Jackson a few months at this point. And after a few months your joy and happiness was bound to wear her down. Even if she was reluctant about it.
“ you know if you take good enough care of these they’ll bloom next spring too “ you said as she hovered by the door watching you “ it takes time and care though. Pretty things but strong enough to survive the winter if they’re tended too correctly “ your eyes flitted up to her for a moment as you said it and she felt the statement were a little more loaded than just being about the flowers.
“ I’ll leave that up to you “ you smiled warmly and looked back down at the plants.
“ here’s hoping “
Tess watched you carefully, still unsure exactly how to pinpoint what she was feeling. She was beginning to like having you around. But also your joy drove her insane. You were annoying. So unbelievably annoying with your bright smile and desire to care.
And yet… you had managed to be the one to coax her out of the house. Yes it was only to her porch but it was still out. You had given her something to almost look forward to each day.
She didn’t like it.
“ oh shit “ she blinked a couple of times to drag herself out of her head to see blood in her peripheral, dripping between your fingers and between the floorboards of the porch.
“ what did you- “
“ fucking sheers they slipped I. Look, it's fine it’s just a cut… You got a bandage or something? “ Tess nodded and glanced towards her door. She realised how bad it would seem to keep you out on the porch. To just leave you there whilst she went looking. But also the thought of you in her home…
“ yeah. Do you wanna… come in? Wanna wash it or something “ part of her almost wished you’d say no, but the relief on your face made her regret the thought instantly
“ thanks Tess “ she headed straight for the kitchen. Not even looking to see if you were behind her, rummaging around in a cupboard for her box of medical supplies.
“ wash it. The sink “ she murmured, watching you carefully from the corner of her eye as you headed for the sink beside her, cupping your hand in some attempt to not drip blood onto the tiles. She looked at your bloody hands, ignoring the guilt rising in her chest at the fact you had injured yourself doing something for her, and reached out for you. She held your cut hand in her palm, leading it carefully under the water. She could feel you watching her, eyes almost burning into her skin as she gently washed away the blood and the soil.
She focussed on the pink swirls twisting down the drain rather than looking at you.
She didn’t like it. Didn’t like how you put her on edge. She didn’t want to go delving into why exactly that was either. Why in the space of 6 months she had gone from despising your very existence, to having you in her home because you’d hurt yourself tending to her flowers. It was a lot to try and process all in one go.
“ Marias always laughing at me “ you said as she turned off the water “ says I’m one of the best snipers in town yet I’m clumsy as shit with anything else. Can shoot a clicker miles off but can’t handle a pair of gardening shears? Idiot “
Maria had told her all about your impressive skills out on patrols. She was yet to see them for herself though, Maria hadn’t paired you together yet. Thankfully. Though she couldn’t lie that curiosity on the matter was strong. She’d always had some morbid fascination with the nicest of people that were able to kill like it was second nature.
A silent chaos raging behind a gentle smile.
“ guns more important than sheers “
“ well that depends on the situation don’t you think? Gun won’t help clip the weeds “
She bandaged your hand silently with the care and tenderness that few saw from her, wrapping it up and admiring her work for a second.
She stood back when she was done not exactly knowing what to say anymore. And she hated it. Despised it. Tess always knew what to say. She was always one step ahead of everyone in the room, but she faltered when it came to you. And she didn’t know why. Or what power you seemed to hold over her as of late. Was it your kindness? Was it the simple fact that you had never shown her nothing but care and respect since day one and she just didn’t know how to accept it? Maybe.
She wandered if you noticed how she looked out of place in her own home. Surrounded by so many things that she had no connection to. Objects that weren’t hers, placed into a house that had once been lived in by others. Loved by others.
Like so many others she had gotten used to not getting attached to materialistic things. She could see you glancing around, how you could probably see that from the way the place looked so… bare. Unloved by her. Un- lived in by her. That you probably figured it out pretty quickly.
You were watching her intently as you wandered the kitchen and she didn’t like it, she didn’t like the way you made her feel like a prey animal ready to dart any moment. That wasn’t her. She wasn’t prey. She wasn’t the hunted. She was the hunter. She was the one with the upper hand.
But not with you. Not with you and your unyielding kindness and desire to know her.
So she turned around and started packing away the medical box slowly and carefully. Just to give her hands something to do.
“ why are you so afraid of me? “ you asked suddenly and she turned around with a confused look on her face. Afraid of you? Why would she possibly be afraid of someone like you.
“ what are you talking about? “
“ you’re afraid. You won’t let me in. You barely even let me be your friend. You keep trying to scare me away with being so… miserable. You have to let people in Tess… and I think it’s because you’re scared yourself I- “
“ I’m not afraid of you “ She said immediately. Her heckles raised at the intrusion. And at the confusion for your sudden lack of ability to not interfere “ are you afraid of me? “ she asked, her voice calm. And low and steady. Intimidating. The way she spoke to people in Boston who were pissing her off and she needed to remind them who she was. Her eyes had not left you for even a second. They were burning into you. Calculated. Smart. Intense.
Some desperate attempt and desire to keep you out. To make you back off. Even if it meant missing those morning knocks and tea on the porch. She couldn’t let you in. She wouldn’t.
But you weren’t afraid of her. You never had been. She could tell. You were stubborn. So unbearably kind but stubborn. Stubborn in the way you had kept up your daily visits even when she wouldn’t answer her door, in the way you still waved at her before she even spoke to you. So stubborn in the way you were standing your ground before her.
“ no. I know I should be. I know what you did. But I’m not “ she folded her arms across her chest, quirking a brow. Who had you been talking to? What could you possibly know. So you hadn’t been refraining from asking her questions all along, you’d been getting your information else where. She was almost impressed. It was smart. Calculated even.
At this point she wouldn’t be surprised if you’d cut yourself on purpose to get inside and make her talk.
“ oh? Oh you know what I did? “
“ someone in town… was gossiping I- everyone’s done bad things “ you said with a shrug.
“ what do you know? “ she advanced on you then. Slowly. Crossing the room to where you stood by the wall. You didn’t move. You held your ground.
“ a lot “
“ tell me “ she wanted to hear you say it. To confirm if what you knew was true. But also because maybe some sick part of her needed reminding what she had once been capable of. Of what she had been before she had become that misery of a human whose only joys came from her pseudo kid and the woman who planted flowers for her.
“ all the people you killed. Tortured “ your voice had dropped to almost a whisper as she stood in front of you. But you still didn’t look scared. And she couldn’t decide how that made her feel. Annoyed? Because she clearly didn’t hold the fear inducing powers she once had. Or… relieved? That she had finally come across someone that took what she had done and dusted it under the rug. Accepted it and moved on.
“ and it doesn’t scare you? “
“ you must’ve had your reasons “ there was a heavy tension hanging in the air, she could feel it thickly between you. Soon enough one of you would choke “ I know what you did. I don’t care. You can’t scare me away Tess “ at this point she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to.
No one had challenged her like that. No one like you anyway. No one so… sweet.
Her old self would’ve laughed. Would’ve laughed in your face and thrown you out. But then again. Her old self would’ve laughed at what she had become too.
Things had changed. And she needed to accept it.
“ stop trying to scare me off “ to her surprise you reached up, your hand gentle on her face. She recoiled at first. As if your fingers were steeped in acid and you’d blistered her skin with your touch. But you waited a moment and did it again. And she froze, unsure of what you were doing or how she was supposed to react to it “ I want to be your friend. Let me. You don’t have to scare every single person that wants to care for you away. If anything you damn well need it “
She didn’t know what to say. Stood there like she was made of stone with your gentle hand on her cheek, your face full of nothing but warmth and affection for her. She felt like a deer in headlights.
“ you don’t know what I need “ she finally spoke, taking a single step back so that your hand fell away. Though she was certain she could still feel it. A kind touch was so unfamiliar to her, so rare that it lingered in her skin “ you know nothing about me “
“ I know enough “ so stubborn. So unwilling to take no for an answer or let yourself be pushed away. She kind of liked it. Liked the challenge “ you have to let people in. Let me in. I know how you feel- “
“ how could you possibly know how I feel “ she almost spat “ you’ve lived here. Comfortable and safe “ you gave a small laugh at that
“ not always “ she didn’t know why she had assumed you had been there so long, maybe because you were so… settled. Adapted “ spent two years captured by a bunch of slavers before I even set foot in Jackson. I’m not some sheltered little girl born into comfort Tess “ she took a step back, eyes narrowing as she tried to asses the new information presented to her.
She knew about slavers. Had been taken by them herself at one point. But two years? She had been there two days, in a tiny camp as they prepared to move her to their main base before she’d managed to get away. Those two days had been hell. She couldn’t imagine two years.
Maybe she had underestimated you after all.
But before she could answer you properly there was another knock to her door.
“ only me! “ Maria’s voice sounded as she entered the house, opening her mouth to say something else but stopping when she saw you stood there. She looked violently overjoyed “ oh! I’m sorry. Didn’t know you had company “ it must have been an odd sight to walk into. Tess as stoney faced as ever and you practically gazing at her.
“ sorry I- “
“ did you need something? “ Tess asked
“ lunch, the whole family. Good haul from the hunting crew today “ family. Her family. As dysfunctional as it was she very much wanted to escape the current situation and see them “ but if you’re busy- “
“ no. I’m not. She was just leaving “ she glanced over at you as you gave a small nod and a smile, quietly excusing yourself and heading for the door.
“ just. Think about what I said Tess? I’ll see you tomorrow “
She didn’t hear the end of that for the entirety of lunch. Maria not usually one to pry. But knowing very much that Ellie and Tommy would. Casually mentioning it and… that was that.
Ellie seemed particularly delighted. Looking at her in a way that she recognised from her own childhood when she realised liking girls wasn’t just a her thing. That she wasn’t the only one. But Tess didn’t probe. Though she was happy in the knowledge Ellie would come to her if she needed.
“ y’know I think it’s real nice “ Joel said to her when she stepped outside stating she needed a little air “ she’s softenin you “ Tess scoffed and folded her arms across her chest
“ you have no idea what you’re talking about. She’s a neighbour. And she looks after the flowers. She’s a pain in my ass”
“ baby steps Tess “ she glanced over at him and he was giving her that look that said he knew something was going on inside her head “ you leave the house more now “
“ to my porch and back “ she mumbled not entirely wanting to get into that conversation. She was not in the mood to discuss her long hours trapped inside her house. And her head.
“ baby. Steps “ she sighed and ran a hand over her face. She was tired.
“ she wants to be my friend “ it sounded so unbelievably juvenile to say out loud. She almost regretted saying it
“ and… you don’t want that? “
“ no “ she said maybe a little too quickly
“ right “ she could feel him watching her, trying to read her as he so often did. The way only two people who had been together for so long could do “ I don’t think I believe that “
“ I’m not asking you to “ he sighed again, used to her stubbornness. Her bad moods.
“ you are allowed to have friends Tess. And… more than that. I don’t know what that girls intentions are, I don’t pretend to know how your mind works either. But if you really didn’t like her then why are you still lettin her around? Tess I know would’ve told her to fuck off and threatened her for good measure for even tryna talk to you if you didn’t like her “
“ you’re talking shit “ he laughed and shrugged
“ you’re proving my point. Tess. Just do something. If you want her? Go get her. Tess I know would. And if not? Tell her to leave you be. Cause this mood you’re in… it’s not nice to see “
“ ‘ the Tess you know’ “ she muttered under breath. She didn’t feel like that Tess anymore.
By the time she walked home she couldn’t tell if she was more annoyed by the entire situation or relieved by it because somehow Joel of all people had begun to put things into perspective for her.
Maybe it was both.
Though the annoyance was slightly winning out. She wasn’t soft. She didn’t like the implications that you were softening her. She was stronger than that. Stronger than you. She hadn’t pushed you away because Maria said she needed to be nice. That’s why.
It was.
Wasn’t it?
She felt a sudden desperate need to prove to herself that what she was thinking was correct. And not Joel.
She was not soft. She was in control.
She didn’t quite know what it was that compelled her feet to head up your porch steps rather than her own. Knocking on the door before she’d even fully come to a halt.
Waiting impatiently for you to answer, looking a little surprised to see her when you did appear.
She pushed past the threshold, watching you take a step back in mild confusion at her sudden intrusion, cupping your face in both her hands and kissing you. You stumbled for barely half a second, kissing her back with a muffled moan and your fingers wrapping around her wrists.
The confidence she was used to felt far more present in your space, in the four walls of your home rather than her own.
She pressed you up against the closest wall, kissing you like her life depended on it. Far more in control than she was a few hours earlier. Than she had been in a while.
And this was it. This was the familiarity she had craved wasn’t it? This was the power she had been missing, the ability to take what she wanted when she wanted it. Even when she wasn’t entirely sure it was what she wanted.
So why didn’t it feel the same. Why did it not even slightly fill the void in her chest.
You were breathing heavily as she pulled away to catch her own breath, a joyful almost dopey smile on your face. You looked so incredibly beautiful. Sweet.
She’d break you. She would. She knew she would. It was a vicious awful cycle. Anyone she got close to got hurt. Friend or… more. It would all end the same way.
“ this won’t end well “ she said quietly, not entirely meaning to say it out loud. The words escaping her as she watched you, someone so beautiful and kind didn’t belong with someone like her.
Someone who had not let the awful things that happened to them twist them into something unrecognisable. In the way that Tess had.
It would be a mess.
“ maybe not “ you answered, voice just as quiet “ but did you ever stop to think that maybe it will be okay? “
“ no “ you laughed softly, head leaning back against the wall and your eyes falling closed for a moment. She wished she could have such a carefree look. She didn’t think her face even knew how to relax into such an expression.
“ have a little faith “
AUTUMN
It had been over 20 years since her life had completely fallen apart. And a lot could happen in 20 years. A lot had happened. Tess was good at having bad shit happen and then burying it so deep down that she didn’t have to think about it. She was good at having a blank face when inside she was screaming. But in the end, one person could only hide so much stuff for so long. Eventually it would spill. And every now and again it did.
And when it did? It was suffocating.
It struck her out of no where. She never saw it coming.
Sometimes it almost scared her. Scared her that the stuff she had done wasn’t even the worst of what kept her up at night. She had no remorse for the people she had killed. Tortured. Those bodies and those sounds. They didn’t haunt her. The stuff that had come before that had damaged her beyond repair.
The first few years had been the worst. Before FEDRA had full control, before any rules were in full effect. When everyone ran rampant, when people looted and murdered because they felt like it. When groups formed and did whatever they wanted. To who they wanted. When Tess had been alone. Had left her home with nothing but the clothes on her back and ran. And ran. And by some miracle survived.
That time before Joel. Before the entirety of the group making their way up to Boston.
Tess didn’t get scared. She wasn’t afraid of things. But she had been back then. She had been so afraid.
So utterly powerless and out of control.
She tried to see the positives as ridiculous as it sounded. Tried to twist the shitty things that had happened. The shitty things that she had done. She had done them to survive. And maybe that scared her even more. That she felt justified in her actions.
That she could think back to certain people she had tortured. Killed. Ambushed. And justify it. Not feel as though she had done the wrong thing at all.
And that she would do it all again if she needed to.
She would throw herself in front of trucks feigning an injury. Just a poor, defenceless woman. Beg for help only for Joel and the others to spring from the bushes and take everything they had. She’d kill every man and woman that got in the way of her rise in the smuggling ring. She’d tortured ever last piece of information out of those fuckers who had taken Ellie. Murdered every. Last. Firefly. In that hospital.
All again. A million times over.
But her humanity was still in her somewhere. Buried deep down but there. And when it reared its head it was ugly. Filled with words to make her feel like the worst person alive. Fill her ears with the strangled cries of her son. The sickening sound of the blood that pooled in her husband’s throat.
It made her feel numb. Like she was floating. No longer in her body and desperately trying to claw her way back down to it.
“ Tess? “ she was too lost to react. Too deep inside her own head to even turn around and look at you. But she knew that voice. The voice that had become as familiar as Maria’s. Ellie’s. Joels “ Tess what are you doing it’s freezing out here “ your voice was soft compared to the voices that were screeching inside her head, soothing. Gentle. Quieter yet somehow speaking over the screaming ones.
Your hands fell onto her arm and she flinched, shifting away from your touch.
“ hey. Sorry “ you said softly, hands raised in some kind of surrender “ won’t touch you again “ the voices were still shouting at her, but a little further off now. Like she was on one side of the room and they were on the other. And wasn’t that interesting. Where in the past only Joel had been able to coax her back to reality. Ground her. Now you had. And she had known you far less “ can I sit? “ she gave a small nod and you sat down, leaving a small gap between you both.
Things between the two of you had been a little different as of late.
You hadn’t kissed since that day she’d barged through your front door and re established that she was very much the one holding the reins. But she was letting herself be lighter. Trying her hardest to open up to you. To go into town more. Smile back at people. And it was hard. And slow going. But she was getting there.
Baby steps. Like Joel had said.
“ I’m gonna go get a blanket okay? It’s so cold “ she listened as you went inside, returning a few moments later.
“ why are you here? “ she asked as you sat down beside her again, wrapping the blanket around you both.
“ I was out on late patrol. I saw the light on… was gonna come see why you were still up. Have a chat or something… you didn’t answer so I just poked my head inside and I saw the back door was open“
She gave a small nod and continued staring out at the backyard. She hadn’t really done much to it. But there was a rope swinging attached to the large tree at the bottom now. Ellie loved it.
“ do you need to talk? About anything? “ you asked quietly “ it’s what friends are for you know. Talking “
“ I’ve never been very good at friends “ you gave a small laugh and nodded
“ yeah. I figured that one out myself “ you shuffled a little closer to her, nudging her leg with yours “ you must’ve had friends at some point “
The ones that truly stuck in her mind were Bill and Frank. Frank would’ve loved you she realised very quickly. You were so alike. So happy. Made to see the positive in absolutely every single thing. Yet becoming friends with Frank had been far easier than becoming friends with you.
She’d been different back then.
“ I had. I had friends “ she started, realising in that moment that she had never actually spoken about Bill and Frank since they’d died. Her and Joel had done as they always had and refused to talk about it. Let it settle and weigh heavy until it began to dissipate on its own “ they lived a few miles out of Boston. Met them over the radio “
“ they weren’t in a zone? “
“ no. Bill… fuckin crazy been planning for doomsday his whole life. Had the whole town mapped out and wired up “ she actually cracked a small smile thinking about it “ Frank though. I think. I think he’s the closest thing to a friend I really had “
She missed him. She missed them both. And missing Bill was something she never thought she’d feel, even if he was more open to her company than Joel’s.
You listened diligently as she spoke about Lincoln. Dinners in the garden and Bills stash of supplies, the awkwardness that always lingered between Bill and Joel. The bi monthly drop offs that had started increasing in distance as Frank got sicker and Bill got older. And then finding them with Ellie. The silent moment she had taken in the garden to cry for her lost friends whilst Ellie showered and Joel fixed the car.
“ they sound like amazing people “ she shrugged and glanced over at you for a moment. And maybe it was silly of her to take so long to realise it. But maybe she had a friend in you, maybe more than that. Maybe she had done all along and had been too blinded by her own self loathing and moping around to truly notice it.
It was the early hours of the morning and there you were, sat on her porch steps in the dark. Listening to her talk. Comforting her. And she realised that you were exactly what she needed. In that moment and every other moment to follow. Your compassion and your calming force of a personality. The way you cared…. Loved even. Your stubbornness. Your loyalty.
“ thank you “ she said quietly “ for being here “ you looked up at her and smiled. That warm, sweet smile that made even the coldest of days feel mild. Tess was all sharp edges and bitter words, someone so soft should be keeping a safe distance to ensure they didn’t get cut. But you weren’t afraid. You never had been “ for everything “ she didn’t want to elaborate and you didnt make her.
She reached forward to cup your face in her hand, thumb tracing over your cheekbone. You understood her in a way it had taken Joel 20 years to. Some odd force of nature that wiggled your way through the cracks in her heavily guarded walls.
Her eyes drifted down to your lips. Remembering the hard, forceful kiss you had shared that one time before. The kind she was used to. The kind she was good at. She wasn’t very good at being tender and caring. Kissing and all that lead from it had long since been something she did out of care and love. It was a means to an end. A release. A way to remind herself she was human.
But it didn’t have to be that way anymore.
“ you gonna kiss me or not? “ you whispered. And it made her lips twitch into a smile.
Tess had kissed a lot of people in her time. And if she was perfectly honest she wasn’t entirely a fan. Kisses were not like how the movies or books portrayed them most of the time. Uncoordinated or clumsy, too much teeth or tongue. She didn’t care much for kissing.
But kissing you was different. Kissing you was like a shot of adrenaline straight into her veins. It was the closest she felt she could come to understanding why Joel had been so hooked on pills before Ellie. It was addictive.
But something had changed now. Some locked gate inside of her had finally clicked open and you had seized the opportunity to slip your way inside. And she surprised herself with the realisation that it actually didn’t seem all that terrifying now, having you there. Having those feelings and thoughts.
Of course there was still… something. But it was less so.
Holding your face in her hand, your willingness to let her lead and melt into her. With every soft and gentle movement of her lips against yours she felt herself slipping. Like when the winter storms would hit Boston and her worn down boots couldn’t find grip on the icy paths.
But this slip wouldn’t end with her falling flat on her ass and nursing a bruised leg. You were keeping her tethered. Your fingers that were looped around her wrist, your hair that was tickling her face.
It made her feel startlingly real. Alive. Present. Present in a moment in a way she hadn’t done all day, she’d spent the day drifting. Some far off place in her head where her demons scrambled over her and suffocated the air out of her lungs. But she was breathing fine now, breathing in air that was yours, breathing as if you were her air.
She kissed you until her jaw started to ache, not sure how long it had been or how many quick seconds apart to catch her breath there had been. But when she finally did let you go the fog that had been blinding her all day seemed to have disappeared. Everything felt as though she were looking through glasses that had just had the lenses cleaned.
Sharper. Clearer.
“ it’s really fuckin cold “ she murmured, causing a giggle to bubble past your lips.
“ yeah. It’s freezing “ you didn’t seem even mildly pissed that that had been her first words after practically kissing your face off. Instead you both silently seemed to agree to go inside, collapsing onto her couch and kissing some more.
Something had shifted after that. Had changed after she’d woken up the following morning on the couch with you.
She actively chose to be around you, even more so than she had been. Spent enough time with you that people began to murmur about it. But she found she no longer cared.
There was still an odd weight looming in her chest, one she was certain may never actually go away. But it was far lighter than it had been.
WINTER
Tess had always preferred winter to summer. Especially after Boston. She hated those sticky summer days. Especially in that apartment that was freezing in winter but a sauna in the summer, no comfortable in between. Days when she felt like the heat was suffocating her and every drop of water she drank sweated its way out of her within the minute.
Winter felt so much… fresher. She liked the snow and the opportunities to wrap up and be warm on her own terms.
Some people found it bleak. But she rather enjoyed it.
You seemed to like it too. Because you could use the cold weather as an excuse to be close to her. And it felt nice. To have you there, to have you wanting to be near her. Even if she was beginning to believe you were forgetting your gloves on purpose now so she would hold your hand.
The arrival of the winter months had brought along the silent confirmation that you two were… something now. Dating didn’t feel right. That word didn’t feel like it belonged in the world anymore. And there had been no real discussions of the matter, mostly due to her own refusal to mention it. And ‘girlfriend’… it felt a little juvenile. Even if was Ellie teasing her every fucking day that you were in fact her girlfriend now.
Jackson was starting to feel more like somewhere she could begin to call home. Riding back through the gates with Joel, watching them close behind her but not feeling that feeling of imprisonment anymore. Not feeling as trapped as the walls in Boston, but finally feeling safe.
She walked into the Bison, happy to find it slightly less crowded than it could be. She walked over to the bar, smiling at the guy stood drying off a glass
“ hey… she here? “ something in her still prickled with an odd sense of anxiety that she didn’t need to ask for you by name now. That they all knew who she meant. That Tess would not venture into the bison alone for anyone else, and that you would never be leaving with anyone else but her.
But she pushed it aside.
“ yeah she’s out the back. I’ll grab her “ she waited patiently as he disappeared through the door, glancing around with some still deep rooted fear that someone was watching her. She didn’t think she’d ever shake that. But she had to remind herself that no one there was after her. No one there was watching her to find her weakness and abuse it.
“ hey you “ you appeared through the door a few moments later and you greeted with that beaming smile of yours, looking at her as if she were the singular source of joy in your life. You leant over the bar and she met you half way, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips. It was the kind of kiss that was… familiar. The kind two people in love shared without thought, something as simple and regular as breathing.
“ having fun? “
“ oh yeah. Making sandwiches, riveting stuff “ she watched you wipe your hands off on a towel before slipping your way out from behind the bar “ but I’d really like to go home now “ Tess nodded and offered you her arm without needing to be asked, your hands slipping into their usual place and huddling close against her.
It was getting chillier out, the sky had taken on that odd yellowy state that signalled impending snow. The kind of day that back in Boston would’ve been some forewarning of an impending low ration season. But there was no such thing in Jackson.
You spoke about your shift in the bison as you walked and Tess listened diligently, all the while silently musing over you asking to go home. And very much heading with Tess towards hers.
But. You stayed over more often than not now. Your things were starting to intermingle with her own, the space that had previously felt so barren and so disconnected from herself… now felt almost like a home.
There were some of Ellie’s drawings tacked to the fridge, her talent alone making the space seem a little more lived in. A few pictures had been framed now too and dotted about the place. Tess, Joel and Ellie over for dinner at Tommy and Maria’s. Another of Ellie pulling a stupid face with Joel looking slightly amused at her side. One of you and her, you beaming at the camera as she looked at you. Maria had taken that one much to Tess’ original dismay. But she was quite thankful for it now.
That was the first piece of you that had made its way into her home.
You had a toothbrush in her bathroom now. A spare jacket on the hooks by the door. A small box of gardening tools by the front door. A hand knitted blanket across the back of her couch.
You were in the air even. The air wafted of the flowers you adored wherever you went, you filled the place she had only ever referred to as a house into home.
And sometimes it almost made her want to laugh. Laugh at herself for what she had become. Tess didn’t take things slow like this. Tess didn’t let her space be invaded by someone else. Tess didn’t have feelings or let herself… love.
Which was exactly what she was feeling more and more these days. Which was completely and utterly terrifying but she found she was just letting it happen. Because she could. And because she was allowed to.
She wasn’t old Tess anymore. If anything she was beginning to feel as though she was slowly becoming more and more like the version of herself that had existed before an apocalypse had destroyed the world. The kind of woman that did date and did take things slow. That had girlfriends or boyfriends and wasn’t scared. Was care free and happy.
And maybe that was more scary than the fear she had felt at losing the version of herself that had developed over 20 years of hell.
She was beginning to think that nothing would ever be without fear these days. But she was working on it. And it was lessening.
And you becoming a permanent fixture in her house was part of that.
Quite often the nights ended exactly as they currently were too. With you walking home together, cuddling up together on the couch to escape the chill of winter.
And making out until she forgot how to breathe.
It had not been more than that. She hadn’t allowed herself to let it be. Had happily let you sit in her lap or let you pull her down over you and sink into the couch cushions. But she never let it progress.
She didn’t truly think about why and you had never asked it of her either. Until tonight.
“ why are you holding back? “ you whispered, pulling back from her slightly. Still close enough that she could feel your breath against her lips.
Why was she holding back?
Because you weren’t some random girl she picked up in the zone because she was bored and lonely. Because until you, sex had become something with little feeling. Something to do because she needed some human contact that wasn’t Joel stitching up a stab wound.
And it was funny, really, when she thought about why she was holding back. Why as much as she may have wanted to, as much as the old her would’ve gone and gotten what she wanted months ago… she hadn’t.
Because it hadn’t felt right. Hadn’t been the time. You deserved more than that. You deserved more than a quick, meaningless fuck off somewhere secluded because she wanted to feel like a human being again. No, you deserved more.
Maybe you still did. She couldn’t figure it out yet.
But what she did know, was if now was not the time then she would wait. She would wait a million and one lifetimes. As much as she knew the short serotonin boost would breathe some life into her for a few hours again… she would endure. Because when she really thought about it, that wasn’t what she wanted really.
She wanted you. Of course she did. Needed you. In every single sense of the phrase. You had been a shiny little light in her darkness, you had prevailed and endured her bitterness to discover something sweet hiding beneath.
And so you deserved the best. Deserved every ounce of love and compassion Tess could find deep within herself.
“ where’d you go? Hm? “ you whispered softly, fingers trailing along the side of her face and tucking an unruly strand of her greying hair behind her ear “ you seem… else where “
“ just thinkin “ your touch was gentle, fingertips somehow still smooth and soft. So different to hers, calloused from years of fighting and doing shitty jobs in the QZ. She felt too rough for you. Too sharp around the edges. Like her hold on you alone could shatter you.
She knew in reality you weren’t delicate. She had watched you shoot like a trained marksmen. Had seen you jump on clickers and stab them until you face was splattered in blood. Chop firewood for town like it was nothing. You were strong. Capable. And yet she felt like she could bruise you like a peach just by looking at you wrong. She was no stranger to your strengths, your capabilities. Yet to her? She felt she could always see you as breakable.
Fine China. Soft fruit. The petals of the flowers you cared so much about.
Soft and pure and delicate. Not made to be touched by the rough and ready hands of the likes of her
And yet…
“ thinking about me? “ you said it with a small laugh, half joking. Half hoping. She gave you a small smile, a small nod.
“ of course “ it came out so quiet she wasn’t even sure she’d really said it right away. But your warm smile told her she had. And you’d heard. And even now, even in that moment, she still took a moment to be amazed at that smile. Amazed that it was because of her. You were smiling because she was thinking of you. You were on her mind. And you liked that.
Her hands twitched slightly at their place on your waist. Almost involuntarily. Like they were trying to make her move, go ahead. Do… something.
You looked down for a second before letting go of your gentle hold of her face, sliding your hands along her arms and trailing your fingers over her wrists.
“ I’m not going to break “ you picked up her hands, moving them down to brush over your ass, your thighs “ you can touch me “ she was afraid she’d do something stupid like blush. So she kissed you again, gently tugging you close by her soft hold on your thighs.
Your hands slid back up her arms, over her shoulders, up to hold the back of her neck, your fingertips slipping under the collar of her shirt. Everything about you was soft. Precise and purposeful. She could practically feel the desire radiating out of your fingers. But also the care.
She hadnt been touched like that in… a while. Touched in a way that conveyed love. A way that was gentle. Caring. Deliberate and slow. Like you wanted to take your time, in a way akin to how you had behaved since you had met her. You wanted to know her. To understand her. To peel back the layers she kept pulling on to keep you out.
And maybe a part of her would always want to keep you out, deep down. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a vulnerability she was still learning to adjust to.
But she was adjusting. Had been. And it felt right now. Felt right having the soft weight of you on her thighs, having your gentle fingers rid her of her sweater. Felt the shame of her equally as raging desire dissipate.
It was okay. She was okay.
She watched your deft fingers carefully unbutton your plaid shirt, one that now she thought about it looked remarkably like one of hers. When had you taken that she wondered.
She let her hands slip over the bare skin of your waist, disappearing under the soft worn cotton of your- her? - shirt. There was a scar along your ribs, the kind that had been there a while. No longer angry and red but faded and soft. She ran her thumb across it.
“ chains “ you said, answering her unasked question.
“ the slavers? “ she murmured, still tracing her thumb over the long stretch of scarred skin. You hummed a reply, your eyes watching her intently
“ plenty of permanent reminders of those fuckers on me “ it still baffled her how you had endured such cruelty and appeared on the other side as gentle as you were. She wanted to track those fuckers down. Torture every single last one that had even looked at you wrong. And reserve a special place in hell for the ones who had left their permanent marks.
She leant forward, dipping her head and pressing her lips to the scar. Your chest deflated in a soft sigh as she did, ghosting her lips over the skin in some feeble attempt to replace the pain with care. Your fingers laced into her hair, silently urging her to kiss you some more. And she did. She kissed up your chest, breath stuttering embarrassingly as her cheek brushed against the cotton covered swell of your chest as she pressed kisses to your sternum.
Everything about you was soft.
She inhaled deeply, your skin smelt of that familiar scent of being outdoors. As if winter air had been bottled and sprayed across your skin like perfume. Something so usually mundane and common place, yet intoxicating on you.
She kissed up your neck, skin in flames with every single soft sigh it caused you to let out.
“ can… can I.. “ you said in between kisses, hands now fumbling with the button of her jeans.
“ not here “ she murmured, pulling away from your lips slightly reluctantly “ you deserve better than the fuckin couch “ that made you smile, head titling to the side inquisitively.
“ well aren’t you just a lady “ Tess scoffed, patting your leg gently to urge you to stand up
“ lady? You must be thinkin of someone else “ you seemed reluctant to stop kissing her, grabbing her multiple times on the way out of the lounge. Including a long pause on the stairs where she almost regretted suggesting you move. And seriously debated just letting the entire thing play out right there on the staircase.
She’d never really been one for kissing. But with you she couldn’t stop. She was obsessed. A woman possessed. And she was taking her time.
But she remained on track. Leading you into her bedroom and the bed she had barely slept in.
She sat down on the edge, watching you as you closed the door before turning to her. Leaning back against it for a moment.
You were truly something. Stood there in your jeans and your bra. Your mismatched socks and your ruffled hair. Lips kiss swollen and eyes watching her intently.
“ c’mere “ she said quietly, gesturing you over with a tilt of her head. You wandered over, coming to a stop in front of her and reaching out to cup her face gently “ you’re so fuckin beautiful you know “ she said, not entirely intending to say it out loud and rather just think it. But the blush that crept across your cheeks made her glad she had said it.
“ you think? “ she hummed a reply, her fingers trailing up and down the backs of your thighs.
She didn’t know what it was about having you there in that room. Her room. Alone. It felt so incredibly intimate. In fact the entire night had. She’d never taken such… time. Time to explore and to appreciate, to admire. And now to have you in bedroom, a room she had barely been able to step foot in alone since arriving in town. But felt almost at ease with you there.
It was a lot to attempt to process all at once. And so she decided not to. That it wasn’t the time to send herself spiralling into yet another pit of despair and dread, she focussed all her attention back to you.
“ you’re sweet “
“ I’m not sweet I’m honest “ you smiled again at that. In reality she was not an honest person. She was deceitful and not to be trusted by anyone but Joel. But you trusted her. And she was honest with you.
She was. You truly were beautiful. And she felt a fool that it had taken her as long as it had to stop and really look at you. Had spent so long despising your presence rather than admiring you from day one.
She slipped her hands further up your legs, cupping the denim clad flesh of your ass and pushing you forward slightly. You took the hint, stepping over her legs and placing yourself back in her lap. Your arms looped loosely around her neck.
She couldn’t resist diving forward, lips against your neck and teeth grazing your soft skin in a way that made the most delicious sounds leave your lips.
“ oh, Tess “ your fingers tugged lightly at her hair as she continued her gentle assault, hands wandering and desperate to touch as much of you as she could. “ I can’t take much more of this teasing “ you whispered after a few moments, tugging at her hair to make her raise her head.
Her fingers ghosted over the blooming marks on your skin. Blossoming spots of red and purple, marks of a gentle cruelty that had sent the most beautiful look of bliss to overcome your face. Yet another mark of possession on your skin, but not of chains and binds this time…. Of hatred. But of teeth. Of lips. Of desire.
Possession through the deep rooted need to keep you as her own, but simply to hold. To protect. To love.
“ Tess “ she wouldn’t make you wait any longer. She wanted to keep touching, to commit every single inch of you to memory. But she figured that she’d have plenty of opportunities to do so.
And she would give you anything you asked of her. So she would not make you wait.
Through a desire blurred haze she manoeuvred you to lay down, a blur of clothing making its way to the floor and soft moans as her hands ventured downwards.
“ no no keep looking at me “ she said, her voice as quiet as it had been since you’d lead her up those stairs, coaxing your head up from where you were hiding with her free hand “ that’s it I wanna see you “ you slipped a hand to the nape of her neck, pulling her down to press your forehead against hers with a small nod, lips parted slightly as she moved her fingers in soft circles.
She lost track of time. Of all straight forward thinking. The seconds and the minutes all blurring into a moonlit haze of body parts in her mind. She took her time, breaking you down and unwinding every single knot under your skin.
Nothing else existed outside the four walls of that room, just you and her. The soft lewd sounds of her fingers between your legs, your quiet whimpers and gasps into her mouth, the rustle of the sheets beneath you as you arched and writhed beneath her.
There was something incredible about having you there, foreheads pressed together as she hovered over you, something so… romantic. How your hands held onto her, fingertips warm like they were branding her skin. Isolated in that room in a newer way than she had been used to.
And when she finally brought you to your long awaited climax, she watched you intently. Admiring the beautiful way your face moved and contorted in pleasure, watching your lips part and your legs tremble.
You returned the favour once you’d regained your regular breathing pattern. Pushing her onto her back and leading a trail of soft kisses down her chest and her stomach, settling between her legs and sending her eyes falling into the back of her head.
Her back arching off the mattress and her hand twisting into your hair, relishing in a bliss she hadn’t felt in an incredibly long time.
And then you lay there together. A comfortable silence enveloping the room, only disturbed by the occasional kiss or soft sigh.
Tess’ fingers played gently with your hair, inevitably lulling you into sleep. And she took the time to think.
She realised that in the time she had lived there it was her first night actually sleeping in her bed. She glanced down at where you were sound asleep on her chest, the weight and warmth of you pressed against her keeping away any anxious thoughts that wanted to creep into her mind.
And she didn’t want to escape downstairs, didn’t want to run. To push you away and tell you to leave. That sleeping together was far more intimate to her than any form of sex act could be.
The thoughts didn’t come.
It had taken her meeting you to finally come to terms with what her life was now. And the things that she had done. That in the current climate there were really no good or bad people. Just human beings trying to survive. Do whatever it took to live to see another day. Doing unspeakable things to get by and trying to convince themselves afterwards that they had done the right thing. That they had had no choice.
And that was okay. She was coming to peace with that. She would never fully forget, but neither would anyone else. But that was okay. Because as long as she had you by her side, she was quite content in the knowledge that she could handle it.
That then come spring those flowers you had planted would bloom again and she would let her fears die with the frost.
Everything would be okay.
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