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lovelybrooke · 9 months

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Not an actual post, just me ranting about Asexual representation in fandoms (specifically fanfiction), or the lack thereof.

Tw for: discussion of the eraser of asexual and aromantic identities, discussions of sex and romance.

I am so sick and tired of seeing characters that are heavily considered to be Asexual by not only their creator but their fandoms, have their asexuality completely erased in favor of having heteronormative smut written about them.

Now before I get too deep into ranting, I want to preface this by saying that fanfiction, at its purest form, is wish fulfillment. It's not always complete, in-depth, looks into characters or fictional worlds or an evaluation of certain characters morals. While it can be that, fanfiction at the end of the day is meant to make people happy, and that sometimes means having OOC characters or characters that are completely different than how the creator made them.

However, that argument really only applies when a small part of a character is erased. This is why erasing things like sexuality from a character doesn't work as well because 99% of the time, sexuality is a huge part of the character.

This is why it annoys me when I see so many Asexual, Aromantic, Bisexual, and Transgender characters have those invaluable parts of their identities erased, almost always so that the fanfic author can put them in heteronormative situations, smut being the most common.

I am Asexual, and I've seen this happen to so many characters that are heavily considered to be asexual. The best examples I have is L Lawliet from Death Note and Roman Roy from Succession. The creator of Death Note literally said that he couldn't imagine L having sex, and the closest thing Roman has to a sexual relationship was him masturbating in a bathroom while Gerri dominated him through a door.

While L's asexuality doesn't play a huge role to his character, Roman's does. Roman literally refuses sex multiple times to the point that it causes problems in his relationships, his father thinks there is something wrong with him, and the only way he almost had sex with Tabitha, one of his girlfriends, is if she pretended to be dead. Everything points to him hating sexual intimacy, but for some reason people still write him as if he is some dominate fuckboy who going to bend you over his desk the moment he can.

News flash, Roman wouldn't fuck you, because he'd think it's gross. And if he did, it would not be in the heteronormative "Man dominate, woman submissive" type of way. The most that would happen is Roman beating off while you say mean things about him and then pretend like it didn't happen.

This works with other characters and situations as well. While I haven't watched it a ton, from my knowledge, Saiki Kusuo from the anime Saiki K, is heavily considered to be Aroace. He uses his powers to stop people from confessing to him, he says multiple times he doesn't understand the point of dating/romance, and only goes on dates if it means he gets food. But for some reason, I see so many fanfics writing him as if he'd be this perfect boyfriend for you and only you. That for some reason, you'd be the one that makes him realize that relationships are great, and that romance is for him.

You see the problems with these examples? In both cases with Roman and Saiki, major parts of their character are just washed away by fanfic authors so they can be put in straight coded relationships, sexual or otherwise (I say coded because not all of them are fem reader/oc, only really the smut are).

What people don't understand is that is continues to push this narrative that asexual and aromantic identities don't exists and are not as important as heteronormative one. Whether or not this is intentional is not something I can say, but it doesn't change the outcome.

And before I get people telling me that I should just, "let people write what they want to write" and "fanfiction is just that, fiction. It's not meant to be taken seriously." I know for a fact that if I took a character that was either canonically gay or heavily considered to be gay and totally ignored that so I could write smut where the fuck someone of the opposite sex, people would be fucking livid, and they wouldn't except those excuses. But for some reason, that doesn't apply to Asexuality.

And I know people are going to try and say, "well asexuality is a spectrum and some asexual actually enjoy sex. Same with some Aromantics." Yes, you are correct, both are spectrums. But with most of these characters, including the two I used as examples, both are completely shown to be either romance or sex repulsed. Using the "asexuality/aromantic is a spectrum" argument doesn't work when you put them in heteronormative situations and completely ignore their identity, because even if they enjoy sex/romance, they're still asexual/aromantic.

I'm also willing to acknowledge that the fault mainly lies in the creator of these characters. Because a lot of these characters are never explicitly said to be asexual, creators can get away with capitalizing off of asexuals and their idealities while also never saying if they actually are asexual so that their media will still be consumed by straight people. This isn't a new concept; it's happened a lot with bisexuals, but it doesn't make the action any more okay. It's tiring as an asexual to see the very few bits of representation I've seen be taken away from me just to favor straight audiences. And it's even more tiring to see fanfic authors play into it by not acknowledging something that is so integral to a character.

I don't want to discourage fanfic writers from writings what they want to write, but please at least attempt to acknowledge asexuals and their identities. Try understanding why they seem so hellbent on insisting a certain character is ace before you write them as some dominate fuck boy or some submissive baby.

And if you're someone who is reading this and is getting mad at me for criticizing the way you or your favorite author writes a character, please try and see things from my point to view. I'm tired of seeing the same smut/romance fics written about L, Roman, Alastor, Yeleana, Jughead, Saiki, and many, many other characters where they're written to fit a straight, heteronormative mold. It's fucking annoying.

#asexuality #asexual #aromantic #aromantism #aromantic asexual #aroace #asexual characters #aromantic character #tw rant

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sentientgopro · 4 months

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I've been thinking about representation again and the forms it can take and classifying them, and kinda just want to organise my thoughts here. Don't mind if I ramble for a bit, using a few examples.

From what I've seen so far, representation tends to take 3 main forms, and ALL OF THEM HAVE A PURPOSE.

Understated and insignificant, a slight mention

Meaningful and a fairly important part of the character

the character is an exaggeration of the thing they represent

So, first off, the "shallow" rep. Y'know, the kind people call "shoehorning" or whatever. This one can be a bit of a hot topic, and I feel like most people act like it's more of a problem than it actually is. However, in some cases it actually becomes very beneficial to the message the representation is trying to add.

For this one, I'm going to use Rainbow Six Siege as an example. Bear with me. For those who don't know about Rainbow Six, as in the original concept, not necessarily just the game, the idea is to have a global unit of the world's best soldiers, from as many different countries and backgrounds as possible, so that you always have a local expert on any situation and someone to provide a different view. The whole point of team Rainbow IS diversity, and always has been, but it more means diverse nationality.

However, Siege does add little tidbits of Sexual and gender diversity; a few gay characters, bi, trans, and Enby. However, this information is only mentioned briefly in the bios of the characters, regarded as a very insignificant detail. While this could come across as shallow representation, I think it really serves the game's message well. It does not matter who these people are or what their background is, they can do all the same cool operator shit as everyone else. There are trans people in the military, bis, enbies, and so on, and alot of people are against that, but Rainbow presents the message that it does not matter and they belong there.

Moving onto rep where it's a meaningful part of the character, or the media uses one to one metaphors to represent the identity (what I mean by one to one will make more sense later). This is where most "good rep" falls, and the example I'm using here, because it's one of the characters I know best, is Gwen Poole, AKA Gwenpool. Gwen's Aroace identity is still a fairly recent addition, with her having a several comic arc dedicated to learning about it. It would take far too long to delve into the deep details of Gwen's story and why she acts the way she does, but in short, she often tries to "put on a show", do things because she thinks shes supposed to in order to be interesting and relevant to avoid her comics being cancelled and fading into obscurity. In this comic arc, her appearances in Marvel's Love Unlimited series, she attempts to start an interesting romance to be interesting and stay relevant. She goes through attempt after attempt, trying different things, stopping on being gay/bi for a bit and seeing if that works, before things fall apart and she realises her identity. What I mean by a "one-to-one metaphor" here is how she forces things to happen to be an interesting character and because she feels like she's supposed to, which parallels how alot of Aspec people force themselves into relationships because they feel like it's normal and what they're meant to do.

And the third category, the exaggeration. This part is when "one to one" is going to make more sense. The exaggeration normally exists in a fantasy setting, where you can more clearly and outwardly display the complex inner workings of a person's mind. This is different to one-to-one where a character experiences those feelings as normal and just talks about them, as opposed to the media exaggerating and clearly displaying those feelings.

The example I'm gonna use for this is Jordan from Gen V, a spinoff of The Boys. (For those who don't know much about the boys and thinks its just that show edgy teens watch, its not. Theyre both very leftist shows, both in being supportive of marginalised groups and a larger criticism of capitalism and the right wing, especially with anti-immigration politics.)

Anyway, Jordan's power is to switch between being a man and woman in an instant, and having different powers depending on which they are. (For the purposes of this character, I am going to talk about gender as a binary, because that is how their power works.)

The show's target audience aren't exactly the kind of people who are going to pick up on nuanced ideas of gender identity, dysphoria, and such, so it isn't exactly subtle with that it's trying to say. Masc Jordan's power is being indestructable and immovable, and fem Jordan's power is some form of shockwave power, so their fight dynamic is attack as a girl and switch when they need to take a hit. I'm not gonna talk about the obvious implications of being a man to take hits and feel strong, it'd be a waste of time.

So that covers why they switch in fights, but which identity do they use out of fights?

The show makes 3 things clear: Jordan grew up as a boy before discovering their powers, and prefers being a girl and feels more confortable that way. So why do they ever present masc?

It's when they want to impress people, appear respectable/ traditional, appear strong and intimidating, or generally do not feel safe/comfortable, especially around their unsupportive parents. It's almost all based around internalized misogony.

So while the obvious interpretation to take about this character's identity is gender fluidity, I don't think that's the case, and this is where the exaggeration idea comes in. Jordan's power acts as an exaggeration of how they feel like they should present, as opposed to their actual identity. Having an instant and clear switch makes it easier for the audience to understand their feelings and comprehend what's going on identity wise. I believe Jordan's story much more closely resembles that of a trans woman, and the fluidity is just a way of showing their feelings.

I don't feel like I'm explaining this the best, but the exaggerated form of representation can make it clearer for the audience to understand emotions that are usually very subconscious and deep down. I recently cracked when I realised that most of the time, I was subconsciously viewing myself as more feminine and as a girl. I started questioning being NB or Fluid when I noticed sometimes I felt it was right to be more masc, but Jordan was there to exaggerate and clearly display those feelings to make them easier to interpret, and I realised I was in a similar situation and felt the same way.

So, in summary:

Subtle rep is designed to show that we're really all the same, and should be treated as equal.

One-to-one rep is designed to be directly relatable.

Exaggerated rep is designed to make it easier to interpret compex ideas and subconscious feelings to get a better understanding.

I hope this all makes sense, thanks if you read all the way to the end, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have.

#196 #lgbt representation #representation #queer representation #asexuality #aromantic #aroace #transfem #transgender #gwenpool #gen v #the boys #rainbow six siege

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moroser · 1 year

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About your human au - I just want to say Lilith was confirmed to be just aroace, not on the spectrum, and repulsed by romance and sex. I’m trying not to word this badly but you saying she would have one night stands is…not good or like accurate to who she is. Also it’s weird there seems to be so much importance on Hunter being her biological son, it kinda comes off as if him being adopted isn’t good enough. As an aroace person myself, knowing you’re also aroace, I just wanted to point these concerns out. I hope it doesn’t come off as rude or anything, and I’m not saying you meant for these things to come across badly either, just asking you to consider this.

i wasn't aware it was confirmed she was repulsed by sex (romance yes, but i just recall her being confirmed ace.) but, even so,

i honestly don't know how to take this ask because as an ace person who is repulsed by sex (physically almost all the time, but in stories and movies and whatever, not always), it took me a LONG time and many shitty situations to get there and realize this was the case for me and realistically there are ace people who also take a similar journey to reach that point in understanding themselves. i am almost 32 and i spent a lot of time thinking i could get over not enjoying sex and understanding that i didn't HAVE to have it, sometimes putting myself in uncomfortable situations for it to try and 'fix' myself. i am STILL struggling with the mentality that it's okay to be repulsed by sex.

i'd applied that to her for this au, because it's an outlet for me. saying she has one night stands was NOT meant to be taken like she'd been going out and having a bunch of sex all the time like at all. i perhaps could have worded it better to explain this, i apologize for that. but to be honest, it was very difficult to share and explain this au for This Reason. it's embarrassing for me to even talk about because i don't even like admitting how much i've tried to not be ace. like idk how else to explain this but i have had breakdowns to my friends about the concern of this and feeling guilty, when ultimately i probably shouldn't have to. people have different journeys into figuring out their sexual (or non sexual) identities.

as far as the biological son thing, it has absolutely nothing to do with him being adopted not being good enough, at all. i am a bit offended that this is assumed of me because i would never think or say something like that. this was just a situation i had created for this au. i didn't do it because i didn't want him to be adopted, i just wanted the situation where he wasn't and how it would go. it didn't feel realistic to me that she'd adopt a baby or she'd just choose to have one, so i wanted to explore a different route.

like i have thought a lot about this, i didn't just throw this shit together without considering a lot of things and this type of ask was why i was fearful to even share it. i don't think there is much i could say that will help you in particular feel better about this, but i have most definitely thought about it all and considered things. i don't like feeling bad for using a character that i really love and respect, as an outlet (as someone who is aroace who does want a child) that isn't harming anything. you do not have to agree with me, but i don't think you should be telling me that i'm doing something wrong and making me feel bad just because my aroace journey is different than yours. i really, really care about this and lilith. like in an autistic and very strong way.

#curious sharks #none of my tone is snotty or mean i am just trying to be blunt and clear and im actually really upset by this #im not trying to make you feel bad and i know you weren't trying to make me feel bad either #i really love this au and it's not at all meant to cause discourse #i feel bad i have to elaborate this all so deeply #human au

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scattered-winter · 1 year

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Give us the rant my liege

(tagging @vulpinesaint because they wanted to see this as well)

ok this is. gonna get long. and im not gonna be holding anything back. and as someone who suffers from chronic Too Nice disease i need to put that disclaimer beforehand with the additional disclaimer that these are all just my opinions that have been largely brought about by my own personal experiences so im not speaking for the entire community when i give this rant.

now with all that out of the way. let me welcome you to the land of aroace WRATH

the first thing i want to say is that most of the things I'm angry abt in fandom's general treatment/views of aro/ace people are actually extensions of the general societal views toward sex and romance as a whole. I'll go more in depth as we go but I'm choosing to focus more on the fandom side of things for now since it's a lot easier to be angry at something so trivial compared to the entire (western) society that's structured against people like me.

one of the biggest things I've seen a lot in fandom/creator spaces is the urge to give every character a romantic relationship that's more "powerful" or "deep" than platonic/familial relationships. this is of course an extension of amanormativity in society as a whole, because the belief that romance is the Goal (tm) is so deeply set into society that it's taken me years of introspection and research to come to terms and find joy in my aromanticism. but it's the concept of characters not being able to be happy, or find fulfillment, or being lonely for the rest of their lives because they don't have a romantic partner. and I wish I could say queers in fandom were generally more accepting of the idea of characters never finding (or even wanting) romance but that's so far from the case because often it's queer people who are pushing this idea of romance and marriage being the Goal.

and with all the above in mind, aro/ace representation is really hard to find. I can probably count the canon aro/ace characters in any media I've ever consumed on one hand (which ofc doesn't say much about the whole scope of aro/ace rep because that's just from what I've seen/read and there's probably more out there that I've never gotten to). and the thing that really upsets me in particular is how, even in the rare instances where we do get representation, fandom collectively ignores it to shove the character into romantic/sexual relationships in fanworks. like. y'all have literally every single character to ship around with and yet y'all also take the one win we have too. smh. and then my Personal Favorite thing (/s) is when someone points out the erasure, allos' go-to thing to say is "well, ace people can still have sex! aro people can still be in relationships!!" y'all are missing the point.

I also can't think of any media I've ever seen where it's unapologetically aro/ace ?? there are quite a few pieces of media that are explicitly, unapologetically queer that I hold sooo close to my chest, but there's nothing for aro/aces outside of like. children's shows. where the romance is minor enough that it can be ignored. and not to be dramatic but I would kill a man for a piece of adult aro/ace media that actually showed the joys and connections within the communities. even media with queer representation tends to lean into the "sex/romance is what makes us human" thing, which I can't even fault the creators for because that's what society as a whole--even queer society--says, too. and of course it's unfair to hold queer media to a higher standard than normal, and that's not what I'm trying to do. it's just. even when I'm watching/reading something meant for queer people, it's still not entirely for me, yknow?? and I think I can feel disappointed about that and also not hold queer media up to a ridiculous standard.

which brings me to more of the irl shit ig !! for all the anger against people saying that aros will be alone their whole lives, there's also some truth to that, but not in the way you'd initially think. I'm not lonely because I want a girlfriend and I'm sad because I don't. I'm lonely because my whole family is going to get married. all my siblings. all my friends. they're all going to find a romantic partner, and/or a marriage, and as "just" a friend, I'm suddenly not as important as their partner. there's this idea that marriages/romantic partnerships always have to come before hobbies, careers, friends, and anything else. and if someone prioritizes something else over romance, they're "selfish." there's also this idea that breakups can only happen if one side of the partnership did something wrong. that sometimes a relationship just isn't working, or they're just not compatible (and neither side is at fault for that.) and this idea of romance and marriage being The Most Important Thing Ever is what makes me lonelier than anything. because even as a kid in school, I lost friends because they got a boyfriend and girlfriend and suddenly that was more important than anything else. including me. and as more and more of my friends and siblings get married, it's only going to get worse because I'm not as important to them anymore. and that's something I'm gonna have to deal with, even though I love being aro and there's nothing I would rather be.

#this ended up way more disorganized and rambly than i was intending but. alas #thats how the inside of my brain be 😔#and id also like to express that a lot of these issues arent caused by anyone in particular.#creators arent picking up their pens going ''im gonna make life hell for aro/ace people today!!!''#it's just. how society is structured. and there's no specific person who's the cause of it.#so when im angry im not angry at anyone in specific im just. angry #anyway this is REALLY rambly and idk if i was clear. its been a long day and my brain functions have fled.#mads 🧠#aroace #asexual #aromantic

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04dissection · 6 months

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Haruka 5, Kazui 2, Fuuta 9

Hey, thanks for the question! I wanted to elaborate more on Haruka and add a moment from Metamorphosis of the Weak Mint, as a note, but I began getting a bit of a headache. Maybe next time.

Haruka Sakurai

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

This VD doesn't have an english name from what I'm aware of, but I think it's a good introduction to Haruka and how VDs are generally meant to go. But as for specific moments:

This one I think. Just this entire section clarifies so well that 'hey. this guy. this guy.' Haruka's a character who struggles hard with attention, and seems to believe any attention at all is good. Yuno makes fun of him for this in her VD, in fact. But in general, I do like this section, and how it foreshadows how him and Muu take a liking to one another- and how Fuuta seems to also care for him.

Makes me wonder what the route where he and Fuuta get along instead would've been like.

Kazui Mukuhara

2. favorite mv moment/frame?

...To give half a fair chance, I'll put my favorite moment from both.

I love the literalness of making his home a stage with props- down to you being able to tell the balcony outside isn't real, and nor is most of the features apart of the house. Everything looks so flat, just made so to the audience it looks real and three dimensional.

As for Cat...

While this scene is absolutely beautiful(all of Cat's scenes are you should go watch it and get it to 1M views if you're here), and I get that they're probably going with the cartomancy definition of the ace of spades. That this entire scene is about how their entire relationship is built on lies and tricks and deceit that Hinako unfortunately fell for. But.

The ace of spades is also a symbol of the asexual community, at least here in the west, and that was something I learned rather early on into researching being aroace. So it was rather funny for me to see this! No matter what this man does he is queer in some way or form.

To bring in another frame I really like, just because I ADORE the coloring and framing of this entire MV, I'll bring this one, as it's a frame I've been heavily lost on.

The 01 and the like... almost stutter-like effect of the cup as it falls has been confusing me for a bit now. Because Kazui isn't prisoner 1, that's Haruka. So why does Kazui have the number? I think Kazui has elements of color theory himself in Cat that need to be broken into, and this is one of those cases. Like I adore the frame and it also confuses me to no end and I don't know where to start with it. Does that make sense.

Futa Kajiyama

9. do you forgive/not forgive their crime on its own?

I don't forgive a lot of the characters crimes on their own, but especially in his case, you don't just appear on someone's street to doxx them, as is implied by his picture in Undercover. You don't just cancel someone for fun, especially not a random middle school student. And he knew she was a middle school student, Backdraft makes that abundantly clear. So, no, I do not forgive his crime on its own.

#milgram #haruka sakurai #kazui mukuhara #fuuta kajiyama #💛#🐟#🎭#🔥#🌻#hope this all makes sense #thanks for the ask again

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beansprouts · 9 months

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barbie (2023) thoughts

spoilers under cut

Margot Robbie's acting was utterly incredible and worth the price of entry alone

My favourite scene was Ken's song and dance number, no notes. Ryan's gotten so much better since La La Land.

on the topic of Ken... let him kiss boys

Like for a film so couched in queer references and jokes, it could have used some actual gay text. It's 2023, let Ken be actually bisexual, not just subtextually.

On the other hand, though, aroace Barbie was important and powerful

Especially as a subversion of the default happy ending where the man wins the woman he has spent the whole film pestering

Most disappointing part of the film: everything about the Great (wo)Man Theory Ex Machina

For God to be Ruth the actual creator of Barbie, some middle-aged woman in a 1950s kitchen, who stepped in to tie up the narrative threads, totally undermined the film's attempt at a feminist message for me

Especially since Barbie apparently had to seek Ruth's permission to enter the real world.

would have strongly preferred if Ruth was framed less as god and more as a mother, parallel to Gloria's character arc with her daughter

also Ruth ('s ghost?) doesn't appear to have any actual agency at Mattel? Why is she stuck in the basement???

Speaking of Mattel in this film: you can't contrast the real world with the hypermaximalist Barbieland if all the Mattel employees in the real world are also cartoonish.

It's such a transparent way to avoid any actual narrative accountability for Mattel the company within the film and it rings really hollow

like this film is so brilliant at portraying the construction of gender (I feel like those essays have been written already, probably, so I won't bother explaining it here). But then you take off your Gender Lens and put on your Labor Lens and realize it's actually kind of regressive?

To be fair I was primed for paying closer attention to its treatment of class and labor because Barbie's journey begins with a song by Lizzo, who has been in the news for also (allegedly) fueling her narrative of female empowerment via labor exploitation. and that was so recent the film can't have known that. But we are in the midst of a labor movement in the US and that also makes this film's politics seem even weirder

Characters in this film are defined by their job. Both in Barbieland and in the real world.

We know Gloria is a mom, and she certainly has personality, but her other defining trait is that she plays with Barbies and then draws them... which ties into her identity as someone who works at Mattel.

Every other Mattel employee is so wholly characterized by their profession as Mattel employee it's a little ridiculous.

When the Barbies are freed from their brainwashing they remember their job titles as their senses of self: author, physicist, president, and in returning to that profession-self they are depicted as healed.

The characters who are dissatisfied with life in Barbieland are also the ones who don't have titles that equate to employment: (Stereotypical) Barbie, Beach Ken, Allan. You could make an argument for Weird Barbie as well

Mermaid Barbie's profession is Mermaid I guess

The film resolves the struggles of these characters by telling them to go find themselves. Literally in the case of Beach Ken. But through the film's language, that means constructing a self through capitalist labor. For example, Weird Barbie is given a political position with President Barbie. As Barbie enters the real world (where each named person is also associated with a job even to Gloria's daughter whose job is Student) this presumably extends to her.

It's this very capitalism-friendly (neoliberal maybe?) depiction of self-actualization through capitalist profession that feels out of place in a film that's otherwise trying to get you to read it as leftist

at least if you think the asides about consumerism or the interplay between emotion and logic were meant to be seen as commentary and not just jokes belittling radicalism

anyway if you liked the satirical and sometimes absurd vibe of Barbie but want something that commits to its kernels of commentary a little more, I'd recommend Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. They are like sibling works.

This post has come across as mostly negative but to be clear I did like the film. It's to its credit that there's enough of a philosophical stance being established to critique like this in the first place.

How many other comedies have a blue link to Siddhartha Gautama on their wikipedia page??

#Barbie 2023 #Barbie #beansprouts commentates

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lisxdumbr · 1 year

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yuta for the character meme you just reblogged <3 lis i am enabling you please go ahead and rant (●ˇ∀ˇ●)

Nya you cannot be doing this to me. I'm feeling specially open today to share thoughts oughh

Yuta Aoi

Sexuality Headcanon: aroace !!! Though it bounces. Aroace is like the utopian (?) case. But I mostly think aromantic but allosexual fits him the most.

Gender Headcanon: NB !!! both of the twins. They're just them. Don't label them. Though I think they do not feel uncomfortable with other pronouns. In my opinion Yuu hits more towards the masc side and Hina hits towards the femme but they're both still in the middle (Yuu they/he agenda uuu).

A ship I have with said character: ehe, putting my hand on my chest right now. BUT ok I don't have many romantic ships? I think his relationship with Shinobu is amazing but I don't believe it'd work in a romantic way. Leave him be the little aro he is.

A BROTP I have with said character: EHEM. well other than Shinobu as I said. HINATA AOI??? the most wholesome dynamic in the entire world. See his relationship with Hinata is so !!! I cannot even think of any better Yuu dynamic than this one. They're ! they're soulmates your honor. They're meant to be by each other's side forever and ever. The person who claimed that a soulmate has to be romantic is SO WRONG. They're the proof that platonic soulmates exist and they're as strong and amazing as the cliche ones. I love 2wink.

A NOTP I have with said character: absolutely hate when they ship him with the characters I consider paternal (?) figures for him. But. Well.

A random headcanon: he wanted to grow his hair since they were very little ! They had long hair when they were kids but it was impractical so they cut it as Hinata wanted (to his style) and Yuu followed for a long time but always daydreamed of having long hair again.

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE YOU YUTA AOI YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME. Thank you for being the source of my happiness I VvdrbdbJQBDN@-:$;#¢°¥

Ask game

#❝ mail !!#ask game #nya !! 🐈‍⬛

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algumaideia · 2 years

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Aspec rep in Loveless

My attempt to write an organized post about the matter.

(I'm gonna fail, this post will be messy)

It is important to you, the person reading it, know that I'm a ace girl who is questioning if I'm aro. So, you know it is just my opinion. I also read half of the book with a headache, I didn't like it and I'm brand new to the ace community.

Edit: I discovered that I'm aro.

(Thinking about it now it all seems just like the bare minimmum.)

SPOILERS

@wint-er maybe you would like this post?

1. The character is not treated as broken, inhuman or something like that by the narrative

I don't think I need to add anything about it. But yeah, the narrative never treats the ace characters like that.

2. The way it dealt with aphobia

I really like how the book shows the different ways aphobia can look like. And besides Georgia's internalized aphobia, the characters that say, do something aphobic are always put as wrong or bad guys. It is framed as bad, disrespectful.

When it is about Georgia's internalized aphobia, the narrative is neutral about it. Which for me is fine, her journey is about her discovering she is aroace and accepting it. Since it is told by her pov, her internalized aphobia is not like called out for most of the book. But she gets better. So for me it is fine. Her development is about she understanding romatic love is not the only kind of important love, is not the happy ending to everyone and this is totally fine. People can be as happy without love.

3. Being aroace is not the character entire personality

Georgia is an akward shy teenager, but that is just because Alice Oseman likes to write akward shy teenagers and not because she is aroace. It is a story about Georgia discovering she is aroace, but she is never only aroace. She is shy, akward, doesn't know how to interact in conversations or talk to new people (I felt that), loves acting and Sheakspare, likes fanfic, etc. She is a character which brings me to the next point.

4. Good rep and being just a character

I think Alice Oseman books are in some ways similar to Studio Ghibli, in the same way she writes her books with rep in mind, Studio Ghibli made their movies with the goal to show girls also can be heroes. But in both cases I never felt like the rep aspect overshadowed the character. The characters are allowed to be their own selves, be unique, have journey, learn and not be the perfect rep that works for everyone.

Idk I have this problem that when it comes to female characters they like are a lot of times created with only representation in mind so like they end up so badly written. They have flaws, but no one never adress them and they have no consequences caused by their mistakes when they truly make a mistake, they have always been great, they don't learn anything knew, they don't grow, they were amazing in the begining and they continue amazing. Mulan 2020 is a good example of this, where is the character development?? There is none, Mulan started the movie having a great chi and being an amazing fighter and ended the movie like that. It was so horrible. They are just there to show: wow females can do this and this. And like they are not allowed to be well written characters that you know make mistakes because they are made to represent everysingle woman that existis.

Georgia, she is her own person, she makes mistakes and she grows. She is aroace rep? Yes. But she is a character before it.

5. There is no generalization of the aspec experience

I never felt like Georgia was meant to represent every single aspec person. It is her story. And not only that but there are other aspec characters!

We have another aroace girl.

A bisexual aromantic girl.

A homoromantic ace nonbinary folk.

Not only that but the book say that the asexual and aromantic spectrum are like huge and people that use the same label can feel things very differently.

A quote from the book:

'Some asexuals still enjoy having sex, for a whole variety of reason,' he continued. 'I think that's why a lot of people find it confusing. But some asexuals don't like sex at all, and some are just neutral about it. Some asexuals still feel romantic attracton to people - wanting to be in relationships, or even kiss people, for example. But others don't want romantic relationships at all. It's a big, big spectrum with a whole range of different feelings and experiences. And there's really no way to tell how one specific person feels, even it they openly describe themselfes as asexual.'

6. Steriotypes and being relatable

To be honest I don't know what are the aro steriotypes, cold hearted person? Anyway. The ace steriotypes I'm aware are that ace people are childlike, immature, naive, do not understand sex jokes, are oblivious, sex repulsed, traumatized. And I'm not here to say that is wrong if an ace person fits in those steriotypes. Far from me saying this. But it is just that although I think Georgia kinda fits in some of the ace steriotypes, she is allowed to be more. She is not only a girl that thought media was exaggerating in their portrayal of sexual attraction, she is more.

And there is no problem with Georgia fitting some steriotypes, really none. I just really like that she has a personality outside of it. And I think that this mix is what makes her relatable. Not everything she goes through will be relatable to everyone. But a lot of things hit close homes. It is not a check box of every single aspec experience. It is Georgia own journey, that has some general aspec experiences.

(This section makes no sense, but I swear I tried)

7. Friendship and queerplatonic relationships

I don't know much about queerplatonic relationships, but I know they are really important for a lot of aspec folks. I understanding it as what Aled said: Platonically falling in love with someone. So you have a platonic relationship with someone but in a way that most people associate with romantic relationship. (I don't know how to write, I'm sorry).

Georgia's journey ends with her understanding that platonic love is as important, as amazing, as fulfilling as romantic love. And it is also about her forming a queerplatonic relationship with her roomate. In the end of the book they declare their love for each other and they say how they're gonna be their person in the end.

And Georgia says how her true love were her friends. This book is about love and how romantic love is not the only option.(Congratulations for her because I cannot say I love you to anyone but my parents without feeling weird)

Something worthy to point out is that this book has a lack of cake, garlic bread and dragons. There is no jokes or anything.

This ended up worse than I thought it would.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. If any aspec folk wants to add, comment or correct me, feel free. Non aspec people can also interact, but like no aphobia.

#loveless #alice oseman #ace #ace community #aspec community #ace character #aro character #aroace character #ace representation #aro representation #aspec representation

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agnesgoesadventuring-blog · 6 years

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Hiya I'm an aroace who has sex from time to time because it's fun and a great way to clear your head when you're stressed. I usually do one night stands with people I don't really know when I want to get down. I've been headcanoeing Molly as aroace since the very first episode and this episode didn't do anything to change that since he didn't do anything that I don't do (usually once a month). Anyone who has a problem with that is just ignorant.

I just sent you an ask about being aroace and headcanoning Molly that way. I forgot I wanted to say something else. Is it weird to say that I experience a lot more acephobia in fandom then I do in the rest of the world and even the rest of the internet? There's def hate and exclusion outside of the fandom, but what I get most is just misunderstanding and people not caring. In fandom there's so much hate for ace headcanons and people saying ace characters can't be queer rep. It just feels worse.

Okay, first of all, before I get to anything else, I have to say... I know you obviously meant “headcanoning”, but you typed “headcanoeing” and now I am delighted by the idea of head-canoeing and exactly what it would entail.

Moving on... I love that you still headcanon Molly as aroace and that you see so much of yourself in him. I encourage everyone who might have ace headcanons of all kinds for Molly, or any character, to continue to hold on to them. Nobody gets to dictate how you connect to or relate to a character. And you certainly aren’t required to interpret characters exclusively in ways that ignorant people dictate to you.

Honestly, I’d never really thought of the amount of acephobia I’ve experienced outside of fandom vs. in fandom. So I haven’t spent a long time reflecting on it, but just on an initial impression of the thought... I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the case, and it does seem like there’s a lot more vitriol involved in acephobia and erasure that I encounter in fandom. I suppose that could be the added layer of shipping. In fandom you’ve got all of the usually social and cultural reasons for acephobia and erasure, but then there’s also the way there’s a certain amount of importance placed on shipping. And not just shipping, but on things like a ship being canon or the idea of “competing” ships and ideas threatening a ship. For some ignorant people, the idea of a character being ace might feel like a threat to their ship because they don’t understand asexuality, so they think of that character was ace then their ship wouldn’t happen.

That’s definitely an interesting thing to think about, the differences in perception and treatment of asexuality in fandom and out of fandom and how it influences both the amount and the vitriol of acephobia and erasure that we experience in both environments. I’d be really interested to here from other ace people about what they’ve experienced in fandom vs. what they’ve experienced out of fandom.

#critical role #my metas #Anonymous

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sableaire · 7 years

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Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I really look up to you for considering everyone's opinion and being calm and level-headed. I feel like I don't see a lot of toxic, passive-aggressive Tumblr stuff here. It's a breath of fresh air imo. I was just wondering how you do it? Like, what do you tell yourself, when you feel angry about someone else's opinion, but want to remind yourself that they're entitled to it? It would really help me! Thank you.

Hello - thank you for your kind words, Anon. I try hard to try and make my blog a comfortable place for the most amount of people, and though I sometimes feel like I slip up, I’m glad that you find my blog something refreshing.

I can’t really say how it is that I avoid the toxic, Tumblr passive-aggression. Part of it may just be that I avoid it myself, so it never ends up on my dash. However, thinking on it now, I guess a lot of that is a deliberate choice as well.

Something that gives me a lot of perspective on things like this is that I’ve changed a lot as a person in just the last six years. The transition from high school to college to now near-graduation was a significant one, and I underwent a lot of personal growth.

As such, I know what it’s like to make mistakes as a teenager (or younger). I know who I was, how I thought, and I know what would have worked on me and what would not have.

This post has gotten super-long, possibly my longest yet(?) so I’ll put it under the cut as usual. If you want to just skim the example given and go straight to tips, skip down to the bolded portion, ahaha. More under the cut:

Just a warning, but this example contains mentions of homophobia and, additionally, some highly negative or dangerously neutral opinions that I personally held in the past. I no longer retain such beliefs. I ask that you look upon this example as a story of growth, as I do.

For example, as a young teen, I had a very firm belief (not taught, just a personal belief that came out of nowhere;;) that anything sexual was bad, and I was more morally pure for having no interest in it. Additionally, I was raised in a highly homophobic environment, and because I had no concept of romantic/sexual attraction in the first place, I had no reason to really think about the idea of why loving the same gender would be bad. I just accepted it as a fact of life, just as I accepted it as a fact of life that eventually I would fall in love and marry a man, etc.

It was to the point where I kind of just… didn’t realize gay people existed. Hell, I didn’t even know there was gay media. I was just straight-up oblivious. But that fun fact aside, my complete disconnect from the existence of gay people meant that, if the topic came up, I probably would have made some highly ignorant comments.

((Side note, I barely realized heterosexual people existed - I didn’t realize that people were having sex in my high school until I was a senior!))

At the same time, I was a highly prideful individual. I know for a fact that if someone, especially some stranger I don’t know, confronted me in anger, calling me homophobic and a terrible person for some of the things I blithely said, young-teen-me would have drawn myself up to save face. I would have gotten offended, angry, and discredited whoever it was. After all, why would I believe some internet stranger over my environment - over myself and my experiences?

If someone had attacked me for my ignorance and these beliefs born of complete ignorance, I know for a fact that I would have ended up more firmly aligning myself with those beliefs. I would have felt the need to stand my ground, partially to protect my self-esteem, partially because as someone who looked down on emotion (I could write a book on my past self;;), I would not have wanted to be associated with a group of people that were so angry.

So, now that I am older and have moved beyond that, now that I know better, I approach these kind of issues in a way that I know my past self would have been more receptive to. I don’t get angry, and I don’t try to enforce my own ideas on other people. Instead, I offer more information. I trust the other party to be a strong thinker in their own right, and then I offer them a choice that might not have been available to them before.

As a young teen, I had no option to accept gay people, when I had no concept of their existence and the vague ‘fact’ that it was a ‘dirty’ or ‘sinful’ thing to be gay. I had no option to accept the idea that people should be able to love who they love when my belief on romantic love was that you just choose the best option available to you once you’re ready to marry (aroace, woo, fun times).

But I was a headstrong teenager, overconfident and smart enough to sound impressive, so if anyone attacked my character or intelligence over my homophobia, I would have felt the need to assert my autonomy over myself. Telling me what to think? Telling me how to behave? That would have been unconscionable. My indignation and anger would have kept me from ever trying to learn more about the topic.

If, instead, someone gave me an option - just made the topic of being gay something more normalized in my life, gave me more historic sources (either of cultures where same-sex relationships were accepted or records of the horrors the LGBTQ community suffered), and just gave me more information to reform my beliefs on my own, I would have been more likely to change my views.

Looking back now, that’s exactly what happened. The way it happened, however, is also something a lot of people might not have agreed with. What brought the concept of ‘gay people’ into my sphere of awareness was in fact a friend’s interest in BL content. My desire to support and share in her interests, along with a natural curiosity and interest in storytelling, led me to read a number of BL manga. I never got into the BL community because I didn’t experience it the same way they did - as a sex-repulsed asexual, I wasn’t reading it for sexual gratification, so I couldn’t relate to their titillation. Even so, because I never do things by halves, as a teenager, I continue reading BL as a hobby.

Some, of course, was blatant fetishization, and I am now embarrassed that I have ever read those. Actually, I’m embarrassed about this period in my life in general, for various reasons, but I’m sharing the story! Just for you, Anon!

In any case, some was blatant fetishization, but I did also encounter some actually well-written stories with emotional stake. Now, I’m not saying this is in any way ideal, but it was these stories that exposed me to the idea of social rejection, fear of being disowned, etc. due to homophobia.

These particular themes struck a chord with me, because even though I had just accepted the idea that I was going to marry someone and have children, etc. I also had a vague awareness that I didn’t want to. In Korean society, and with my grandmother, I did have an ingrained fear that I may be somehow rejected by my family should I ever not want to go to any of my grandmother’s blind dates for me and such.

Sometimes in high school, when I answered that I didn’t have an interest in dating, family members would accuse me of being a lesbian in a tone of near disgust. Prior to reading the BL stories, I likely would have been offended by the accusation. After reading the BL stories and reading about situations where people got cut off for being gay, I was more hurt by the idea that if I was actually gay myself, I likely would have been rejected. It better helped me to better understand and empathize with some struggles that LGBTQ persons may go through in their lives.

This empathy led me to be more open to reading about the LGBTQ community, and it helped me to better control my surprise when I found out some of my friends were bisexual or had kissed girls, and it was a gateway to more information, with which I have shaped my current beliefs and moral code.

This is another reason that I don’t really engage in Tumblr’s moral crusades. I’m of the firm belief that people grow given the chance, and that growth is shaped by three things: information, support, and choice. In this example, my ‘information’ came from places that the more morally aggressive side of Tumblr would consider irredeemable: BL media.

I’ve written a post or two on the topic in the past, so my followers already know that I disapprove of the fetishization often inherent in this kind of media. However, I simultaneously cannot bring myself to bring myself to just tell people, “Hey, you shouldn’t read BL,” because it would not have worked on me, personally, and also because my experience reading BL actually contributed to the who I am in present day.

Let’s create an Alternate Universe - remove this source of ‘information’ from my formative years. I had no opportunity to empathize with an example of emotional rejection. Due to living in South Korea with a limited social circle, attending a Christian school, I have limited opportunity to meet actual gay people. Instead, as I grow up, my increasingly evident disinterest in guys leads to more disgusted/concerned accusations from family members that I’m a lesbian, which I react to poorly because I am both repulsed by the idea of a romantic relationship and also because I have been told all my life that being gay is something undesirable.

I eventually make a homophobic comment, because I start to associate the concept ‘lesbian’ with my personal revulsion. In response, someone calls me a terrible person, irredeemable, etc. and challenges my moral character, something AU me has a high opinion of. Insulted, I feel the need to defend my position because, psychologically, it is easier to decide that other people are wrong than admit that I am wrong.

The new ‘information’ available to me is that people who support gay people are ‘overly-emotional’ and will attack a person’s character without knowing who they are. Perhaps I receive a death threat or they tell me that people like me are better off dead. Then the new ‘information’ available to me is that people who support gay people are potentially dangerous.

As an upset teenager, in this AU, I speak to my family about this. Due to some ingrained homophobic beliefs themselves, they validate my experience. Some of them might tell me that people who support gay people are “just as bad as gays themselves.” My mother, especially, is furious about the death threat. She tells me that I’m smarter than they’ll ever be, how dare some stranger say that. Is it possible to report them to the police? I tell her, no, that’s not possible, mom, it’s the internet and also they’re probably in a different country.

This is AU me’s ‘support’. It reinforces the ‘information’ that I received, and it makes it more difficult for me to accept conflicting information in the future. Online, I may encounter other individuals who have received hate and or death threats for their homophobic beliefs, and I connect with them. We commiserate. This is more ‘support’ which makes it even harder for me to change my mind in the future.

And throughout this whole series of events, AU-me feels that she is in control of her own actions. She didn’t ‘give into’ the people trying to force her to change. She is proud of who she is, and she feels confident in her autonomy of herself. Due to basic psychology, she feels that her choice is the right one, and she instinctively seeks out biased evidence that confirms her beliefs.

Flash forward to AU age 22, I would be a completely different person to who I am today. I would not have the friends that I do. I would not be on Tumblr writing this post. My moral code and personal beliefs could be completely different.

So then, here’s a philosophical question: Does the very real possibility that I could have become an elitist, sexist homophobe make me a bad person?

There are some people who believe that people who are morally good will always end up where they are. I am not one of those people. I consider myself blessed that I met the people I did and had the experiences that I did. I am grateful that certain hardships in my life gave me time and reason to sit down and think about the kind of person that I want to be.

Due to the information that I was lucky enough to encounter and the support I was able to find, I was able to make the decision to commit to being an open-minded person.

Of course, I recognize that my experience is unique to myself. It is very possible that someone else, in my aforementioned example, would have ended up homophobic in a different way - fetishizing gay people, applying BL fantasies to real life people, etc. - but in my case, that wasn’t so. And that’s the issue. You can’t accurately predict people’s trajectory of growth upon exposure to controversial topics and or media. However, it’s almost certainly guaranteed that anger and threats will be poorly received, and likely counter-productive.

I believe that people are a product of their experiences. There have been a lot of kind people in my life, such as yourself Anon, who have told me that they respect my approach to situations or my philosophy on life or how I conduct myself, etc.

Ultimately, it is just that I am a product of my own unique set of experiences, and those experiences encompass both circumstances and mistakes. Upon coming to college and spending time away from my family, I really started committing to my self-betterment. I spent a lot of time thinking about my beliefs and the kind of person who I want to be. I took courses in Conflict Negotiation and Social Psychology because they were important to me.

Right now, I am still learning, and I’m still trying. I’m really, really happy that I can be someone others find helpful for their own personal growth.

With that being said:

So, Anon, your question was, “I was just wondering how you do it? Like, what do you tell yourself, when you feel angry about someone else’s opinion, but want to remind yourself that they’re entitled to it?“

It’s not necessarily that I believe someone is entitled to their beliefs. There are some beliefs that I find dangerous, and I do not believe any person should have them. However, before I get angry, I think about my own experience as a person with less-than-stellar beliefs, and I think about what kind of approach would have best worked with me.

In my experience, the elements that contribute to a person’s opinions on something are the following: information, support, and choice.

So, things to keep in mind:

Every person uses the information available to them and the support system attached to that information to make, what they believe to be, an informed choice. People always believe in things and behave in a manner that makes logical sense to them, and that is important to remember.

Choice is the most important element of the three. The psychology of autonomy, especially in highly individualistic societies such as the United States, is incredibly powerful. Even if someone changes their behavior because someone else tells them to, they may later on start to resent both the behavior and the person that forced them. Ultimately, if you want someone to really change, you have to let them come to a different conclusion on their own.

So, how do you change someone’s mind? Give them information and let them know that should they desire to change, they have your support. If someone is ignorant about something, rather than condemning them for it, it is most effective to present information in a neutral manner. Give them the option to learn, and let them choose the option for themselves. And, should they want to learn more about a certain perspective, offer your availability and aid. Allow them to make their own mistakes and learn from their own mistakes. Act as a guide they can choose to follow rather than trying to push them down a certain path. This is the approach Daryl Davis took towards the KKK, to great success.

That being said, I realize that this is a best case scenario. It is incredibly time-consuming, and it is for many people emotionally taxing. This method is not for everyone, and part of the reason I stick to it is because I recognize that I am one of few people who have the patience and the temperament to carry it out, and I believe that it is a necessary method in this world. However, I recognize that it is unfair to expect people with great emotional investment in a topic to just swallow their feelings and bear with it. Sometimes, certain topics are deeply upsetting to individual people. Especially in these cases, I recognize that it is highly difficult for people to take on such a goal-oriented approach.

I am additionally committed to my approach because I know that there are some people who will be receptive to it, but not everyone can make use of it. As such, many people I know in my life ask for me to mediate conflicts or help them figure out how to change someone’s mind. I am an ally to many causes by being this more neutral, more open-minded person. I have received criticism for this before, that there’s no point trying to change bigots’ minds or that there’s no arguing with certain people. However, as someone who acknowledges that she could have become someone completely different (someone who thought poverty was the fault of the poor, that sexual assault is fault of the victim, that being gay was an abnormality, etc.) I know for a fact that people, especially younger people, can change their minds, given the opportunity.

However, like I said, this method is time-consuming and emotionally taxing. And as much as I want to help people, I also have an obligation to myself. So, part of the reason I avoid toxicity and passive-aggression or fan/anti debates is because I’m… I’m on Tumblr for fun. For a good time. Why would I willingly throw myself into more trouble when I can avoid it? The thing is, I already know that I can’t change everyone’s mind, so it doesn’t matter if I don’t go in and engage every single person on Tumblr whose opinions I disagree with. Instead, sometimes I’ll get Anons who ask my opinion on certain topics, and I can make a long post like this one. People interested in the topic will then read and reblog it, and it will eventually reach a wider audience. The thing about my approach is, I can’t please anyone on any one side. I have people who disagree with me on both sides… but, unlike other approaches, I also have people who agree with me on both sides. In any case, I’m on Tumblr for fun, and I don’t have a responsibility to anyone but my own followers.

That is also why I try to keep my Tumblr free of discourse, for the most part. Not everyone can handle emotionally charged controversy, and not everyone can easily ignore it if it just shows up on their dash. Although I try to tag everything so people can opt in and out of content, I also want my blog to be mostly a fun and friendly place for people where they can occasionally learn things. There are enough sources of stress in the world. I hope I’m never one of them. ((On occasion I will reblog a post which involves my political beliefs, but that is because I feel that, in this case, given the current US political climate, I would feel personally uncomfortable if I didn’t make my personal alignment known.))

Also, it’s important to note: If you’re engaging in dialogue and trying to change someone’s mind on a topic without thinking about how to succeed at it, at heart, changing their mind may not be your ultimate goal. Often times, a lot of Tumblr controversy comes, not from a place of wanting positive change, but wanting emotional gratification. Sending angry messages on the internet may feel good in the moment, but it often drags you into a frustrating argument that leads nowhere. It also will not have a long-term positive effect. Having the moral high ground in a situation can feel fantastic, and I’ve been there - but again, it doesn’t actually enact positive change. It just creates a survival-of-the-fittest environment for negativity. You’ll chase away the people who have room to grow, and only the loudest, most stubborn, most arrogant people will remain.

Further, getting angry at people’s opinions on the internet creates an environment where it’s terrifying to make mistakes. On the internet, it’s impossible to tell someone’s age and or circumstances. A lot of people on Tumblr are kids, and they may or may not be lying about their ages to seem older. Think about parenting, and how criticizing small mistakes in behavior can lead to a long-term fear of making mistakes. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. Creating a system where one mistake can haunt you for the rest of your life is counter-productive to personal growth, and that’s what a lot of Tumblr controversy seems to be.

Actually, now that I’ve written all that, I just realized something I should have mentioned in the very beginning: I am not someone interested in changing the world. I’m not even interested in enacting social change. That’s far, far, far to broad a scope for me. There are some people built for such positions, and they seek to enter politics or start grassroot fundraisers, etc. I am not such a person.

Instead, I hope to become someone who can be a positive source of change for individuals. I don’t want to change the world or society, but I hope to be someone who can change one person’s worldview. An act of kindness for to a person who has lost hope. Someone who can translate languages and bridge cultures for individual people. Someone who can inspire someone to commit to their own self-development.

To this day, I consider learning that I inspired someone to learn a new subject or pursue a new career path my greatest achievements. Few things delight me more.

I want to be a writer, and if the book that I publish can make a positive impact on just one reader, I will consider that book successful. That story would have been one worth telling.

There are some people who can make a goal to change the world and make it happen. I find that far too grand a dream for me. I lack the motivation for it, the strength of will for it, the vision for it. However, engaging with people one at a time, I can manage. So, there really is no reason for me to engage in Tumblr discourse. If someone comes to me directly, I can work with that. I can talk with someone one-on-one, and who knows, maybe I will come out the person changed. But that’s a personable scale, and it’s a level that I can comprehend.

I cannot change the world itself, but I can change the world for one person.

I don’t know if this was the answer you wanted, Anon, and I’m sorry it’s so long, ahaha. Ultimately, my advice to you is, decide what kind of person you want to be, and work towards it. This isn’t about achievements or careers, etc. - those are external things that label you. Who do you want to be? What kind of impact do you want to have on others? What kind of impression do you want to leave? And all the while, what role in life are you comfortable with on a physical, emotional, and ethical level?

After you figure that out, think about how you can become that person. The thing is, you never will, not completely, but you can improve yourself month by month and get a little closer, and every step closer to being that person is a victory.

Most people in the world never take the time to think about it, so by taking the time to do so, Anon, you’ll already be a step ahead.

..... I feel like after all that, I didn’t actually... answer the question very clearly. I’m sorry;; I hope you got something out of this ridiculous response, Anon;;;;

#Anonymous #sableaire #discourse #mistakes #personal growth #character development #advice #sableask #philosophy #personal philosophy

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