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#they are SO<3
icyfox17 Β· 1 month
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Okay here's the first irondad snipp I ever wrote (there is def some Tommy vibes since that was all I'd written before this BUT they are like the same person anyway so--)
"I think you should really reconsider your choices of joining a gang, and think of maybe joining a bathing club or something. Those exist right?"
The man doesn't even acknowledge Peter's attempt at a joke, instead swinging at him with another punch, that Peter easily dodges. His gun had been taken by Peter awhile ago, and his stamina was quite frankly depressing. He was panting hard, which meant Peter had to breathe in the stench of his breath, on top of the terrible body odor.
"Ugh, scratch that. You do know what a toothbrush is right? More than 80% of dentists reccomend Colgate. Maybe try that brand."
"I'm gonna," the man heaves, hands on his knees as he catches his breath, and okay this is getting a little sad, "rip your tongue out and feed it to my dog, so I can never hear you talk again."
"Yikesss, that's not nice for your dog. What kinda dog wants to eat human tongue?? Feels bad for your dog."
This time the man opts to scream as a response and charges Peter, who is honestly done with this at this point, so instead of dodging, he shoots him with his web and wraps the man up in it like a cocoon. He also takes care to web up his mouth because man, no one deserves to smell that breath.
Peter looks to the sky, and much to his dismay, it is still day. There isn't even the beginnings of orange tinging the sky to signify sunset, and man today is going to be a long day.
He guesses he could go and try to see what Ned is up to, but Peter's pretty sure he's working on a really important project, and he doesn't want to bother him with it.
Peter sighs heavily. "Karen, I don't know what to do."
The ai responds to him rather quite promptly, "You could always head back to the tower. I'm sure Mr. Stark would pause whatever he was doing to see you, if you wanted him to."
And yeah. That's what Peter normally does, when he's having a slow day. Today though, he's trying to avoid it, considering the fact that he shouldn't be patrolling at all, and he's sure that Mr. Stark would be onto him the minute he saw him. Peter isn't sure how he always seems to know. One time he even took a shower before going to see him, and he still knew. It was probably Karen's fault, though he made her swear not to tell him.
"I know Karen. It's just..." He trails off with a sigh, shooting a web and pulling himself up. He starts to swing through the city aimlessly, still unsure of where to go, but wanting to move away from the crime.
"I'm sure Mr. Stark would be happier to see you than not, even if you have done something against his wishes."
Peter cringes. "You didn't have to phrase it like that Karen."
"How else would I phrase it?"
"I dunno, just not that."
There's silence for a bit as Peter fights with himself. On the one hand, he really does want to see Mr. Stark. He hasn't seen him since right after the accident, and he quite frankly misses hanging out with him. On the other hand, he really does not want to hear a lecture about how he shouldn't be patrolling so soon after his injury.
Ring Ring Ring
Incoming Call From: Tony Stark
Uh oh.
Guess he doesn't have a say in the matter anyway.
"Uh, hi Mr. Stark!" answers Peter as cheerfully as he can, trying to find a decent roof to land on.
"Hey Pete, I was wondering if you--" Mr. Stark cuts himself off. "Is that wind I hear?"
"Uh yeah, it's just super windy where I am right now," Peter says, chuckling nervously. "It's honestly crazy how windy it is. There are definitely going to be some fallen trees tomorrow."
Mr. Stark is silent for a moment before, "You wouldn't... happen to be patrolling right now, would you?"
"Whaaaaat? Noooo," Peter winces as he hears a car blast it's horn, "that would be entirely irresponsible of me. I would never."
"You know I can look at your suit's cameras and see what you're seeing right now, right?"
"Obviously, but you're not because you trust me full heartedly and--"
"Peter."
Peter sighs. "Okay, so maybe I went on a five minute patrol. But it's super dead today! I was literally about to head to your place because of how bored I was. You can ask Karen!"
"That doesn't matter Pete. What matters is you just came out of a serious fight with several injuries. You shouldn't be throwing yourself back out there!"
"I know Mr. Stark."
"We agreed on two weeks. Two weeks! You know most people would need a whole month, but Pepper and Happy reminded me about your enhanced healing, and I said fine. Fine! Two weeks. And how long has it been?"
"...A week."
"A week! You know, I was going to call you and ask if you wanted to go to Ben and Jerry's with me, but now--"
"No, Mr. Stark please! I won't go again for the next week, I promise."
"And how good was your promise this time?"
"I double promise. Triple promise! C'mon Mr. Stark, please? I really wanted to see you today."
"Kid, you can still come over," he says, sounding a bit appalled at the idea that Peter couldn't. "You can always come over. You know that by now."
"...but can we get ice-cream?"
Peter tries his best to give puppy eyes, even though he's unsure if Mr. Stark could even see him.
He hears Mr. Stark mumble some vague curses before, "Alright fine. But if you do this again, I swear to God--"
"I won't, I won't!"
"Okay, now get your butt over here."
Peter giggles a bit. "Okay. Bye Mr. Stark!"
"Bye kid."
There's a beep to signal the call ending, and Peter makes sure to swing by his backpack on the way to the tower.
All the while, Karen is strangely quiet but Peter has a sense she's feeling downright smug.
Peter ignores it though, in favour of focusing on his excitement for ice-cream.
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iknowitwontwork Β· 11 months
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this is either jurdan or like. and stay with me here. *whispers* jude/nicasia
no bcz it IS jude and nicasia likeee omg??
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butchfalin Β· 6 months
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌβ“" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) β€œwhy didn't he use 🫡🏼?” didn't exist yet. β€œwhy didn't he use πŸ†—?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent πŸ‘‰πŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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bookwyrminspiration Β· 3 months
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god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait
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happyheidi Β· 9 months
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𝖠𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖠𝗇𝗇𝖺-π–«π–Ίπ—Žπ—‹π–Ί π–²π—Žπ—…π—…π—‚π—π–Ίπ—‡ | 𝖨𝖦: π–Ίπ—‡π—‡π–Ίπ—…π–Ίπ—Žπ—‹π–Ί_𝖺𝗋𝗍
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justphilia Β· 1 month
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Marcille x Male Reader headcanons!
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She leaves you for a woman.
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littlelightfish Β· 1 month
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Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:
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Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.
(You can hear it here)
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In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocΓ³ mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.
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hekuuu Β· 4 months
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a little self-indulgent comic :>
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langernameohnebedeutung Β· 2 months
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Lae'zel's character and her entire situation at the beginning of the game becomes so much more funny when you find out she's 22. It makes so much sense. Imagine you're 22 and you're exposed to this dangerous toxin or chemical or something - but not to worry, you learnt that this can be easily fixed, you just need to dial 911 real quick. Common knowledge. Everyone knows that. You learnt that in kindergarten, it's up there with fire alarm drills.
But the people you're stuck with have no concept of modern medicine and when you say "let's go to the hospital" they will say shit like "i think they kill people at the hospital" and "we should ask this swamp lady" or "this guy over there told me about this homoeopathic healer kind of guy but he got abducted" or "this random bard wants to help" and "I'm not going to dial 911 because I don't want the government to know my home address" or "maybe we should consider a deal with Satan". And then a bunch of them KEEP consuming the chemical because it makes them "stronger". One guy might explode for unrelated reasons. You have a few days before this situation is getting critical and suddenly they're solving crime and doing general charity for the community.
And FOR SOME REASON you still try to help these idiots and you STILL want to help them get the cure even though they all keep insisting the "doctors" at the "hospital" might try to "kill them" and they don't have insurance. And you keep telling them to just. go. to. the. hospital. before the time runs out and you all die very horribly of a very treatable condition.
And also you're 22 in a foreign country and you're responsible for shepherding this gaggle of idiots who are all ranging anywhere from 24 to 240 years old.
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basketobread Β· 5 months
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yes.
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ruushes Β· 5 months
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sleeping arrangements (not sure tara would ever actually deign to sleep in the same 20ft radius as shovel but who can resist those big shiny insectoid black eyes πŸ₯Ί)
plus:
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ardri-na-bpiteog Β· 3 months
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Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.
For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.
I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.
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not-a-bad-dragon Β· 7 months
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Shoutout to Baldurs Gate 3 for having a magical girl transformation sequence but instead of a teenager in a short skirt it's a lesbian aasimar paladin in full plate about to open 13 cans of fucking whoop ass
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obsob Β· 3 months
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i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy
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theharlotofferelden Β· 8 months
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Genuinely loved the experience of being at camp for the first time and seeing all the companions with their tits out like they're all gonna go clubbin or some shit
Then there’s Gale
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Who's just. So utterly swagless that his clothes smell like dusty old books. My man doesn't give a fuck about the drip he's getting his ass ready for bed
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monstertidbits Β· 4 months
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ryoko kui is hands down the queen of character design
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