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redbleedingrose · 1 year

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Till the End of Time ~ Eris x Fem!Reader

Summary: 5 times Eris fell in love with his best friend and 1 time he did something about it

Warnings: Beron Vanserra, fluffy (for the most part), some sexual references, angst here and there and everywhere

word count: 5.6K

Masterlist

A/N: I have had this concept planned out for a while, and I felt like typing it out today. Idk just feeling lots of love for Eris Vanserra this week!!!! Always Epilogue will be coming out soon I promise, just feeling a little burnt out from it! Also this was also meant to be a drabble because I have to study but I have no self control! (I also didn’t edit this, we are rawdogging this sorry not sorry) Hope you guys enjoy this little fic! Please, as always, like, reblog, and comment your thoughts, you already know it means the absolute world to me! Please eat something, drink a sip of water, and take your meds! Lots of love -Rose <3

1. When they promised to be best friends forever at the age of five

Eris eyed you as you stood behind your mother, hiding behind her like she could protect you from the world. He could have scoffed at the naivety of the little girl. His father had let his five year old son know earlier that morning that he was to be on his best behavior because special guests were coming today. When Eris had questioned who the special guests were, Beron had backhanded him across the cheek for “questioning the High Lord” so hard, that the little lordling was knocked to the floor. His cheek had ached for the rest of the day before his mother, Roux, found him and sobbed as she kissed the tender bruise that formed. She had applied some salve, whispering apologies and sweet nothings into his ear as she rocked him back and forth, cuddling him close before murmuring a glamor enchantment to cover the atrocious crimes of the high lord before his guests.

Eris had assumed that the so-called guests would be old, greed-mongering males, probably praising everything that Beron did or said, but he was shocked to see a small family of three making their way into the entryway. The little girl peaked out every so often from behind her mothers skirt, just to get a glance of the high lords family who stood before her. When her father had rushed himself to introduce the rest of his family, simpering at the High Lord for the invitation, he had yanked the girl harshly by the elbow, pulling her into the limelight. You stood there, shaking like a leaf about to fall from a tree because the wind had been so strong, before curtseying so low, Eris thought your knees touched the floor.

Suffice to say, the High Lord had been very impressed and turned to his son, glaring at him so hard, the child stepped forward and introduced himself, sneering down at you when you whispered your name in exchange. Eris didn’t know what to do with himself as he sat next to you at the dinner table, you hadn’t said a single word to him, quietly eating the food placed in front of you. Your mother and father were deeply entranced by the conversation with their high lord, and failed to acknowledge you. Only when Roux asked how old you were, did they seem to remember you were there, as the conversation went deadly silent and everyone turned their gazes onto you. You squirmed for a second, freezing as soon as you made eye contact with your mother who stared at you icily, and yelping out that you were five. Roux beamed back at you, “Eris is only a year older than you, you both may go outside after dessert to play.” Beron had scoffed at her, but didn’t deny lady autumn's suggestion. Er had been surprised, not only by Beron’s lack of scolding or response at his mother, but also because he had minor interactions with children his age in general. His father kept him busy with intense training and schooling, and refused to let the little lordling interact with the children at the forest house, citing they were peasants and Eris “did not need to mix with the likes of them.”

After dessert, some kind of tiramisu that Eris did not care for, Roux reminded the children to go outside, “fresh air will do you both good,” she said, and he had turned to glare at his mother. He rose from his seat awkwardly, waiting for you to also rise, so he could take you to the area under the willow tree that had the single wood swing attached to a thick branch. You followed him without a word, and Eris had planned to let you sit and wait until one of their mothers would call them inside as he tried to swing as high as he could. He had no energy or will to speak to you, but you broke the silence as you walked past the stables, “What's in there?” Eris almost snorted, thinking it was a stupid question because what else would be in there. He replied boredly, “Horses… and my hounds.” You whipped your head to him so fast, so excitedly, it knocked the breath right of the little heir. “You have puppies?” Your eyes shone bright in the setting sun, and your hair glimmered under the remaining rays that flew over the horizon. “They… they aren’t puppies! They are hounds. For hunting,” the lordling replied feeling flustered, heat rising up to his neck as he pulled at the collar that felt too tight at that moment.

“Can I see?” you pleaded with him, “Just for a couple of minutes?” Eris thought for a moment, feeling protective over his pets who had probably just finished their evening meal served by the stable boys. He didn’t know how they would react to a new presence… to a girl. The hounds were being trained to hunt, but he supposed a quick peak wouldn’t do any real damage, “Fine,” you cheered so loud, beaming at him with a toothy grin, the little lordling felt his heart skip a beat in his chest. He rubbed his tiny hands together anxiously, “only for a minute though, they are probably tired.” You must’ve picked up on his nerves, because you quieted down, thanking him with a blush dusting your cheeks, and followed behind him as he paced towards the shelter holding his precious hounds.

The door was painted red, and Eris had to pull it open using all his strength after standing on the tip of his toes to unlatch the door. If Beron had caught them, he knew he would be in serious trouble, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care as you peaked through the fence, bouncing on your feet to get a glimpse. He grabbed at your wrist, ushering you inside with soft tugs, as twelve hounds bound to the pair of children. What Eris hadn’t expected was for his hounds to surround the little girl, jumping onto her, knocking her over into the hay that lay beneath their feet, as she let out a tiny scream in fear. He panicked, yelling out commands to the hounds to back off, yelling her name, and almost called out for his father in the flurry of fear. The sounds of giggles filling the stable interrupted him, Y/N sat up as the hounds were eagerly shoving their noses into her face, licking at her, scenting her, rolling onto their backs for her to pat them. She squealed with joy, wrapping her arms around one particular hound who had made his way onto her lap, hugging him close, “Eris, your hounds are puppies! They are so cute!” His jaw had dropped to the floor, the hounds frivolous display of affection was extremely uncommon and usually reserved for the little lordling alone. Indignation rose within him, but he cut himself off as three of his hounds left the girl to approach him, begging for their master’s attention.

The children spent the rest of the night in the stable, the girl asking Eris so many questions about his pets, the hounds and horses included, opening up rather quickly from her previous shy nature. They sat on the ground next to each other as the hounds cuddled up on them, most falling asleep at the babbling between the five year olds. At some point, the conversation shifted away from his pets to any and all topics. They discussed their favorite foods, their favorite desserts, their favorite holidays, what they were learning in school, what Y/N wanted to be when she grew up. Hours upon hours of conversation, well into the night until the stars and moon were the only source of light other than the small faelight at the edge of the stable. “Father says we will probably see each other more,” Y/N excitedly whispered, trying to keep her voice down for the sleeping pups, scooting closer to the little lordling. “Really?” The heir couldn’t believe it, “Why?” The girl let out a huff, “We are moving here… mother keeps saying its because father has been promoted to chief accounbant.”

Eris stared at her for a moment, “you mean accountant?” She rolled her eyes, falling back onto the floor in helpless despair, “I don’t know Er,” a nickname she had come up for the little lordling during their conversation. He opened his mouth, probably to reaffirm the girl probably meant accountant, but was stopped by the girl, “Do you want to be friends?” The lordling had once again been rendered speechless by the girl. He had never had any friends before, and he didn’t really know what friendship had entailed. She lifted her head, eyes wide, boring into his as he tried to formulate his answer. “Sure, let's be friends,” if he had learned one thing tonight, it was that he didn’t mind the girl's presence. He actually found himself enjoying it. “Best friends forever, Eris, swear it.” she said determinedly, raising her crooked pinky to link with his. “Okay, best friends forever Y/N. I swear.” A tingling sensation arose around the inner part of their right ankles, a small tattoo of a dahlia formed, obscured from the eyes of their prying parents. He stared at her, a grin forming on either of their lips, his heart warming because he finally had a friend. And the lordling couldn’t wait to be best friends with her, till the end of time.

2. When you helped him with his injuries from Beron’s wrath and comfort him

“Oh gods, Y/N, you are a fucking menace,” the amber eyed male groaned into her shoulder, burying his face further into the soft skin of her neck, as she stood between his legs, stitching up the cut on his collarbone that had been left by the knife of the high lord in a fit of rage. She pulled the male off her, trying to get him to sit up straight, so she had proper access to the superficial wound, “Eris, get up,” she chuckled, “You are fine.”

It had been a century since Y/N had found out about the abuse the lordling was subjected to on a daily basis after he had shown up in the middle of the night when they were just teenagers, bursting through the hearth that kept her bedroom warm with flames that continued on into the night. The shock of the male popping out of her fireplace had nearly sent her into cardiac arrest, scrambling out of bed, ready to scream at him for scaring her half to death. She abruptly paused as he slumped into her arms, exhausted and beaten to a pulp. She dragged him onto her bed, and cuddled him close, crying into his chest as he murmured apologies, stroking her hair, and pressing kisses into the female's temple. Eventually, Y/N had shot out of his embrace and ran into the bathroom to gather supplies to clean and help mend some of his already healing wounds. From that night on, the lordling always managed to come after a beating from his father, sometimes so late into the night, it was practically minutes before sunrise. She would pull him into the bathroom wordlessly, and have him lean against the counter as she would sterilize his wounds, stitching them or applying salve, things she had learned after insisting to her mother she needed to receive weekly training from the local apothecary.

“Mother above Y/N, your best friend is in pain,” the heir groaned, leaning his head back into the mirror, peaking at you through his eyelashes as you ignored him, focusing on the task ahead. His hands gripped at your hips, pulling you in even closer before sneaking up to your waist to hold you there. Long ago, you would have blushed being too shy around the heir, but you were desensitized to your best friend's antics at this point. “What happened anyway?” you asked as you tied off the stitch, before moving to place a cloth over the wound to protect it from developing infection. Eris sat up straighter this time, gazing into your eyes as he responded softly, “I am not sure. Something to do with the alliance between winter and summer, I think he wanted in, but they refused.” You snorted, and the male knew you were probably thinking none of Beron’s abuse to his children and wife could ever be justified, but the excuses he did come up with were so absurd, it was beyond him how he still had supporters throughout the court. Everyone was at least mildly aware of the plight of the heir, his younger brothers, and lady autumn, yet everyone who could do anything, like your father, refused to, in order to continue lining their pockets with wealth.

You continued to smooth down the bandage in silence as Eris watched you, you had certainly changed in the past century. Your hair had grown longer and fuller, your eyes more bright with love and hope despite the fear you experienced so close to the high lord, your body had morphed into a grown female. When you finished, you lifted your worried eyes to stare into his, and a soft smile lifted onto his face unintentionally, easily. “I’m fine, doll,” he pulled you in, rubbing at the point between your shoulder blades, letting your head rest on his shoulder as he buried his face deep in your hair, inhaling the smell of maple and sage shampoo you used, the scent bringing him a deep sense of comfort and ease as he held you close to him. The softness of your body and quiet beating of your heart against his was lulling him, and so he leaned away, half lidded gaze focused on yours as a tear slipped down your cheek. He thumbed it away, his heart speeding up at the thought of you caring this much for him, like no one else ever had. He worried that your hands on his chest would pick up on it, but neither of you made mention of it as you enjoyed each other's presence.

“At least flash me your tits if you’re that worried, I think I'll be feeling a whole lot better if you do,” a smirk lilted his face as he watched a deep red flush develop on the apples of your cheeks. He loved flustering you like this, and the thought of you actually following through on his request had his cock twitching in his pants. “Gods, are you ever not horny Er?” you shoved him back, laughing at the males audacity, the solemn mood completely shifting into one you were more comfortable in, “Fuck off.” The smirk on Eris’ face deepend as he snorted, “I most certainly will if you show me your tits doll.” You sigh, shaking your head at the male as you wiggle away from his grasp around your waist. A flash crosses your beautiful iris’, one that has Eris’ knees nearly buckling, as a smirk forms on your face. “Fine,” Mother fucking above, he could pass out, “only for like ten seconds though.”

3. When he watches you interact with the people of autumn, especially the females and children

One thing Eris always gave credit to his best friend for, was the fact that she loves helping people. He didn’t know where you inherited the trait, knowing your mothers cruel indifference to others and your fathers greed, but whenever he brought you to the nearby villages for the day, the citizens' hearts were won over by her. The lordling couldn’t do much for his mother, once a week, he would beg her to flee autumn, even going as far as saying he would seek protection from the night court on her behalf, or even send her to Day if she so wished to be with its high lord. But Roux refused every single time, too afraid for the lives of her children if she were to flee, his youngest brother, Lucien, already being forced out of the court when Beron killed his lover. The thought made his stomach churn and heart ache, and so he shoved it deep down, burying it into the darkest part of his unconscious, turning his attention back to you.

The heir had gone behind his fathers back, building female centers in every village for those who had been abused by males, accepting any and all who came looking for help. He ensured these projects were funded, funneling his own wealth into them to make sure these females and children had access to healthy food, clothes, products for their cycles, education and training for both the females and children, toys, etc. Anything and everything these females could need, he made sure was provided to them. He often took you to these centers whenever your mother would let you out of the house, more often than not, you would sneak out willing to face whatever punishment your mother would enforce later on.

He watched as you spoke to the females, allowing them to show you whatever it was they had chosen to study, and you listened so intently, focusing all your attention on them. A warm feeling spread throughout his body, knowing that you were just as passionate about these projects as you were. In fact, you had been the one to encourage the lordling to pursue these projects, and you helped him plan everything out, taking on a huge role in the process. His thoughts drifted to you helping in the future, one day when Beron was dead, and he was high lord. Mother above knows that he would need all the help that he could get, and mother above also knows that you would be there at his side every step of the way. Butterflies arose in his stomach so hard and fast, the male needed to steady himself as he watched you turn your attention to the babes who were grasping at your dress, vying for your love. A soft smile was stuck permanently on your face as you cooed at the babes, leaning down to pick them up and hold them against your chest, swaying back and forth in a lulling manner. He watched as you stroked at their hair, smoothing down any stray strands, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to what you would be like with your own babes one day, his heart palpitating at the thought. The heir took the very thought, and shoved it into a box inside his heart, as the feeling of envy at whichever male was lucky enough to have her in that way creeped its way throughout his body. But as your gaze met his and your smile grew wider, Eris let himself hope that maybe the cauldron would bless him with that luck.

4. When you danced together in the forest moonlight after Amarantha’s reign ends

Fifty fucking years. Fifty horrific fucking years. Five decades without seeing you, without talking to you, without holding you. Every year, every month, every day, every hour, every minute, every second was beginning to blur together with the lordling as he lived under the mountain, trapped by Amarantha’s reign. The longest Eris had gone without seeing you since the male had met you, was three weeks, for a vacation your family had forcibly taken you on in the winter court. After that, you had opted to stay at forest house while your parents went out on vacations, keeping close to the lordling as much as possible and avoiding Beron at any cost. You just couldn’t stay away from each other, those three weeks had been torture.

Fifty fucking years was unbearable. Eris missed you so much, with every fiber of his being, with every cell in his body, with every molecule that made him whole. He ached for you, thinking about you constantly night and day, almost to the brink of insanity, his one reprieve being that you were not trapped under the mountain with him. And all of it ended with Feyre, the cursebreaker as they called her. He sent a silent prayer to the Gods, thanking them for the girl who bought the trapped fae’s freedom, before winnowing out of there immediately after she had been brought back to life, the only thing that was one his mind, that was consuming the male really, was getting back to you, even if that meant you being the first female he would visit, the second being his mother. Seeing you. That is all he wanted.

The male found himself standing outside your window at the edge of the forest, it was the middle of the night and there was no way he would knock on the front door alerting your parents of his arrival. He stood there, watching you silently, heart racing with joy as you sat by the windowsill, engrossed with whatever book you were reading. He stood there for what felt like hours, as hot tears began to collect in his eyes from the sheer relief that you were okay. But it had only been a couple minutes. And you glanced up, staring out the window, as if sensing you were being watched before you froze. Eyes locked onto his form. You stared. And stared. And stared. And stared. Book dropping from your grasp, as your now free hands rose to your face, clamping around your mouth as you probably cried out. Suddenly, you were standing in front of him, probably having winnowed yourself out of your bedroom. Shaky breaths misted in the air around you as your respiration rate increased, chest rising and falling so fast, the heir wanted to rest his hand on it to calm you. And then…

And then warmth. Gulped sobs into his shoulder and your hair. Tight arms around his neck, along with tight arms around your waist. Pressing against one another until each ridge of his muscle, and each curve of your body molded together. Somehow, the lordling gathered the strength to winnow you away, deep into the forest, where your mother or father wouldn’t be able to see you out the window.

You continued sobbing into his shoulder, not even noticing the change in location until Eris had pulled you away from him, staring down into your eyes before peppering kisses all over your face. Kissing away your tears, kissing the corner of your eyes, kissing your temple and forehead, kissing your reddened nose, kissing the plump of your cheeks, kissing your chin, kissing the corner of your lips, even landing the softest, quickest peck onto your bottom lip. You clung to him, fisting his coat's shoulders, trying to keep the male impossibly close, as he wrapped him arms around your waist, finding it out of the question of being away from you for another moment.

He whispered sweet apologies for being away for so long, murmuring how he had to protect you and autumns people, rubbing your back while mouthing his thoughts into your shoulder. He couldn’t bring himself to say the one thing he truly desired to tell you, Beron still being alive was reason enough. So… the male showed you. Tucking your head underneath his chin as he buried his face into your hair, swaying you deep in the forest with the moonlight as your source of light, and his hums serving as the music, pressing a kiss onto your head whenever he wished as he breathed in your maple and sage scent.

5. When he had a nightmare from the trauma of Under the Mountain, and you comforted him.

Eris woke up with a start, sweat nearly drenching him and he frantically flailed his arms across your bed in search of you after his palm found your side of the bed cold. The events of under the mountain had left the male traumatized more than he already was; the things that he had been made to watch made his bones chill to the very core despite the fire that ran within his veins. Ever since he came back, the lordling hadn’t been able to sleep in his own bed, finding it too cold and unfamiliar to him. He walked through your hearth to find you asleep in your bed, blissfully unaware of his presence within your room, the site bringing him a wave of comfort through his chest. He approached your bed with apprehension, you had never done this before in your 700 or so years of friendship, slept together in the same bed that is. There was always that boundary that the heir hadn’t been willing to cross, in case your scent rubbed off on him too strong and his father started to get ideas.

But his nightmare had him frightened, mind racing with images of your dead disemboweled body being torn apart by Attor’s at the command of Amarantha, as he screamed out for you in what he could only describe was the worst pain he had felt in his entire lifespan. The dream had been so vivid that first night, he had winnowed himself using the fire in his hearth to get to you and make sure you were okay. He watched you sleep that night for hours until you woke up, jumping back slightly at the presence of the male in your room. But the look in his ember eyes… the tears that had streaked down his cheeks… you didn’t say a word, lifting your comforter and patting the space next to you. He siddled up next to you, until your arms had wrapped around his waist and your head tucked under his chin. There was no need for words that night, and every night since then, when the moon rose to its peak, the lordling found himself crawling into the space next to you and cuddling impossibly close, letting your scent and heartbeat lull him into a dreamless sleep.

So tonight, when he woke and didn’t find you withins arms reach, he nearly panicked. He shot up from your bed, only to find you splayed out across the couch in front of the hearth, deeply engrossed in the book he had recommended to you a week prior. His shaken breaths snapped you out of your focus, attention shifting to the bed where the lordling was sat, staring at you, eyeing you up and down, looking for any injury or sources of bleeding, only to come up empty. His dream tonight… it hadn’t been related to Amarantha. In fact, ever since he started sleeping with you, the dreams of under the mountain became few and rare in between.

Tonight… the male had dreamt his father beheading you before his eyes as a way of punishing him for the espionage he was committing with the night court. No one, except for you, had known of Eris’ plans to receive help from the high lord of night in killing Beron. The anxiety that ran through Eris had his entire body shaking with fear as he thought of the possibility of Beron finding out. “Come here Er,” you gestured him to come to you, opening your arms wide for him to fall into. He steadied himself against the bed, slowly sliding out and making his way to you, his best friend, his love, his everything.

He collapsed into you, resting his head between the valley of your breasts, only the sheer thin nightgown separating the feeling of his skin against yours. You carded your fingers through his auburn hair, mumbling “It’s okay,” and “I’m here,” and “I’m not going anywhere,” and “you are safe.” He wished to hear the words, “I love you,” but he didn’t mention it as your other hand came up to run up and down his back with a slight pressure. Eris doesn’t remember falling asleep that night, and he most certainly doesn’t remember the inaudible whisper, “I love you Er,” that spilled from your lips once his soft snores filled the room. The only thing he remembers is that when he woke up, he found you sleeping, the soft planes of your face relaxed into a bliss he hadn’t seen before as your arms continued to hold him tightly against you even as you rested. He remembers that at that moment, he decided that he needed to kill Beron sooner rather than later. Because he only wants you to ever look blissfully peaceful and happy as you did now.

6. When he found you after killing Beron, and decided to do something about loving you.

A week later, with the help of the night court's high lord, general, and spymaster, Eris had snapped his fathers neck in half, sending a shockwave throughout autumn court, as each and everyone of its citizens felt the shift in power from the feared high lord, to the immeasurably kind heir. The lordling had sent you and his mother deep into the woods days prior, to stay at one of his cabins so that he would be able to complete the act without worry of harm towards you or her. Eris hadn’t told you exactly what was going to happen, but somehow, you knew. And you pressed him close to you before he left to complete the act, leaning up and pecking a soft kiss into his lips, similar to the one you had shared the night he returned to you from under the mountain. When you pulled away, he nodded softly at you once, before winnowing back to forest house where he would meet the night court's inner circle. They had struck up a deal with Eris, finally coming to terms with the situation that happened with Morrigan, after he explained to her that he couldn’t help her with his father sentires around, but had come back for her with me at his side to help heal her, only to find her already gone. Eris had even gone as far as bringing you to meet with the inner circle, shocking them all at his gentleness towards you, and opening their hearts to the pair of you.

So there you sat, with his mother, distracting her with mindless conversation as you poured her tea out. And then… And then you felt it. Felt the shift. You felt the power shift from Beron to Eris, and it had been so strong, the kettle had fallen to the floor, spilling hot water all over the carpet. Neither of you noticed however, as Roux started sobbing in relief, pleading that we take her to day court as soon as possible. You wrapped your arms around her, stroking her hair in comfort as you wept your own tears of relief and joy, telling her that the lord of day was most likely already informed by Eris and on his way. So you both sat, patiently waiting for your Eris to come back to you.

A heavy knock sounded at the door, and you motioned for Roux to stay seated as you reached to pull open the door, a dagger hidden in your other hand in case one of Beron’s loyal sentries had found you. Relief sagged through you as you lowered the knife at the sight of the tall high lord of day standing before you, peaking in anxiously around you to get a glimpse of his mate. You beamed, moving to the side, allowing him to stride past you as Roux stared at him before leaping from where she was sat and jumping into his arms. You smiled at the intimate moment, before tucking your dagger into the holster at your hip, and closing the door behind you to let the mates have private time to themselves.

Your patience was wearing thin as you waited for the new high lord to make his way to the cabin, so you started the trek through the forest on your own. Eris had told you he had been planning on burning down Forest house with the body of his father inside, tearing apart all the terrible memories associated with the place, and so he was probably busy doing that. As you walked through the forest, you smelled the fresh leaves, listening to the stream nearby with complete peace spreading through you from the core out. The snap of a twig cracking startled you, and you swiveled so hard on your ankles, dagger already out of its sheath and aimed at whatever was creeping behind you.

And there he stood. Staring at you. With a fresh pair of clothes, old ones probably soaked in his fathers blood. And you stared right back. Right back at Eris. The dagger fell from your grasp as you bound for each other. You slammed into him, knocking him to the floor, as you reached to protect the back of his head from the fall. You were clutching each other so hard, the lordling thought you would melt right into him. You shot up from his chest, peppering kisses all over his face, weeping as you cherished your best friend. He laughed, loud and free, pulling you even closer as he felt the warmth of the fire in his veins burning impossibly high. When his amber eyes met yours, another snap shook you both to your core. A golden rope, binding the two of you together as Eris’ own sobs began wracking through him, his hand wrapping around the back of your scalp and pulling you in for a hard kiss as he reveled in the sheer ecstasy of your mating bond falling into place. The words that had him aching, flowing past his lips, without any restraint or fear, “Y/N, my best friend, my love, my mate… I love you forever and always, till the end of time.”

#Eris x reader #eris x y/n #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x y/n #eris vanserra x you #eris vanserra acotar #eris vanserra fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar fanfic

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expired-monster-craft-smp · 9 months

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Leon Kennedy headcanons part 2nd

- Due to the lack of control in his life, Leon seeks control in other things such as his diet, his daily routine, weekly schedule, and even what he buys

- Gets paid a lot since he works for the government but rarely uses it

- He literally lives in a shitty and small apartment that isn’t decorated and sleeps on a bare mattress on the floor

- Cannot relax like ever unless he’s alone in his apartment, but he’s close to relaxed if he’s alone with a trusted person like Chris, Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. Hunnigan would be included but they usually only meet to discuss a new mission for Leon

- Doesn’t listen to new music, but will listen to recommendations from friends and new releases from bands/artists he already listens to

- Bro canonically listens to dad rock and metal and was born in the late 70’s so his music taste can be…interesting

- I know a lot of people say that he would have one-night stands or whatever but not only is this man the most awkward person ever and Cannot Pull, he’s also severely paranoid and closed-off around unknown people, drunk and sober. He most likely doesn’t get any action whatsoever

- He’s super sweet towards kids. Just has the biggest soft spot for them and can’t stand to say no to them 99% of the time

- He gives off Midwest energy so bad, he probably spent a significant amount of his childhood living there (if we’re going off his original backstory n shit he probably got moved there while in foster care and remained in that area until he aged out)

- He can’t stand change (autism and desperation for control) and it’s why his hairstyle remains the same. It’s one of the few constants in his life and he physically cannot have his hair in any other style

- He’s an alcoholic in the sense that he’s almost always drinking. He doesn’t really do binge drinking, just a constant flow of alcohol in his system throughout the day

- Dissociates a lot. After Spain, he was stuck in a dissociative episode for over 3 months, just going on autopilot

- Prefers off-brand items over brand names, mostly due to growing up without a lot of money. It’s more comforting

- Hates being dirty or smelling bad. He showers religiously and throughly, always making sure to apply cologne afterwards even if he’s just going to bed

- No phone case. It would be helpful since he has pretty big hands and long fingers but he just lets his phone rawdog the world

- Leon is a trans man !! Government pays for his T shots and paid for his top surgery (though it was mostly so they could make Leon feel more indebted to them)

- Leon is just so extremely touch-starved it’s actually incredibly sad. Even if it’s just a medic touching him to patch him up, his skin prickles and his eyes sting

- Doesn’t mind sugary things, but if he’s going to drink soda, it has to be diet. He tends to stick with water and unsweetened juice, though

- If he’s going to use pet-names for someone (such as Chris perchance), he sticks with “baby”, “sweet thing”, “doll”, and “sweetheart”. He doesn’t usually use pet-names though, mostly because he thinks it sounds awkward coming from his mouth

Chreon stuff because homosexuality

- Leon absolutely adores hugging, snuggling, and cuddling with Chris. The man is bigger than him and makes the perfect pillow

- Finds it hot that Chris can easily manhandle him

- Favorite thing to do is cuddle with Chris on the couch or lay his head on Chris’ thighs or chest and watch movies with him

- Instead of rings, they have matching watches (canon)

- Leon can get needy and whiny when sleepy, especially after a mission, and will cling to Chris like a leech

- He feels comfortable and safe enough with Chris to relinquish control to him. He knows his husband will keep him safe and has his comfort in mind

- Claire had a fucking field day with them when she found out they were together. Literally got teased relentlessly, and she jokingly gave her blessing

- Leon found it amusing when she gave Chris the shovel talk, not him

- Leon teases Chris about his smoking habit but Chris never really does the same with Leon’s drinking, knowing it’s a sensitive subject and instead just makes sure his husband doesn’t drink too much

May post another part, who knows?

#leon kennedy #re4 leon #resident evil leon #chreon #chris redfield #just a little bit #leon kennedy headcanons #trans leon kennedy #because it’s canon #it’s true #I’m capcom

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dadfuckerfest · 10 months

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Look what we found in Dad’s journal!

Weird.

Anyway, the Man writes like Yoda, but here is what we figured out:

1. What the fuck is a “Dadfucker Fest”?

It’s a weekend dedicated to the “fucking” part of Dadfucking.

2. How can someone contribute to this most wonderful and noble cause?

Give us porn! Remember, Dad wasn’t exactly a monk, and Dean gave him everything he’s ever had. All you have to do is write (or draw or edit) some dadsex and mention @dadfuckerfest and/or tag #dadfuckerfest (mentions are preferred, for consistency and notifications). We’ll reblog it to this page to share with your fellow dadfuckers and to save for posterity!

3. Wait, is it just John/Dean? What about [other canon/original character]?

Characters and ships other than John/Dean are most welcome! However, your work still has to be about J/D to some degree. This means threesomes, gangbangs, third-party POVs, role-play, J/D by-proxy, unrequited fantasies are a-okay. You can find some examples here. If you’re still unsure if something is allowed, feel free to ask for clarification. (Though to be honest, we’re not very picky over here.)

4.When is this dadsex going down?

When is it not going down?! Feel free to start working on your daddycestuous fic/art and sharing it as soon as you like. However, works will be reblogged to this blog on Friday, July 28th through Sunday, July 30th.

5. What’s with the day-by-day break-down?

Think of the day-by-day break-down as our reblog calendar, to help us categorize your works. Or if you like, think of them as very optional, not-at-all-serious “themes.” They are as follows: * Friday July 28th: (Pre-)Canon — i.e. the m/m J/D of our main timeline. * Saturday July 29th: Alternate Universe/Curses/Other Weird Shit— incl. genderswaps, John survives AUs, no-supernatural AUs, fuck-or-die, possession, Huntercorp, time-travel, monsterfucking, omega!verse, prequel AU, whatever your sicko heart desires! * Sunday July 30th: Kink — what it says on the tin: give us some kinky shit. As you can tell, the line between canon and AU is very blurry, and J/D can be kinky in any world. So don’t worry too much about sticking to themes – chances are, your work will fit in at least one of these days.

6. What about prompts?

Flip over to pg. 10 for instruction, and pg.11 for the list.

7. I don’t like any of the prompts and I want to freeball and/or rawdog it.

We see what you did there! Submissions need not be in response to a prompt. This is your chance to finish (or start!) some wips, to distill a story idea to its sexy essence without worrying about plot or worldbuilding, to turn a DFF ask into a little scene, etc. etc. Once again, as long as it’s J/D and porny we will take it!

More lore under the cut!

8. What is the desired porn-to-plot ratio?

As long as there is (a little, a hint of) fucking, we’ll take it! If you feel like you need plot to make your story work better/more enjoyable for *you*, please inject as much as you’d like.

9. How long should a fic submission be?

As long as tickles your pickle! You probably won’t get a lot of fucking done under 500 words, but feel free to prove us wrong.

10. I want you to reblog my stuff but this event name is very cringe and I don’t want to mention it.

A. Fuck you! B. You can notify us in other ways of your desire to share your filthy disgusting porn (e.g. dms, mention us in a reply, carrier pigeon, etc.)

11. John/Dean is so very sexy, but I’m shy and I don’t want to post on main. (This is NOT Jensen Ackles, by the way.)

They are the sexiest! You can post your work anonymously on ao3 and send us a link. You can also create a new tumblr account using a new email address and use that to share your wonderful daddycestuous creations. (If need be, we can also discuss email submissions).

12. Can my fic/art be used for another event?

Sure! As long as it hasn’t been published before.

13. Is non-con allowed?

Yes, but please give some heads-up in the tags or in the beginning of the fic.

14. Is under-age allowed?

See above.

15. I really want to participate but the timing doesn’t work for me.

No worries! a) Remember, you have two weeks from today to post whatever your heart desires. b) The point of this event is that it’s low stakes and there isn’t a lot of prep work required, which means theoretically we can have more than one round! If enough people want to participate again, we can definitely have a repeat later this summer/in the fall, etc. (Also, we always take late submissions!)

16. Who is the fucker behind the curtain?

Hi, it’s @egipci! Please feel free to send me any questions here or on my main blog!

17. We haven’t talked before/we don’t follow each other/I don’t like you. Can I still participate?

(Un)lucky for you, I love J/D about 1000x more than you don’t like me. As long as I can reblog your work to this blog, I will!

18. Your graphics suck! Our eyes are bleeding! Are you making this shit on a toaster?

Actually, I’m making it on an DIY busted-up Walkman-cum-toaster. If you got some better nerd instruments and you want to put them to good use, hit me up!

#about #dadfuckerfest #dadfucker friday #deanjohn #johndean #edited for clarity re prompts

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moonheavens · 3 days

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hello tumblr friends hope everyone is doing good!!!!! spring is here even though it's bloody WET in London rn but I am almost going on holiday to the old US of A so good times in Ames world....

in writing news I am finalising hurt/comfort fic FINALLY and hoping to get that out to you in the next 3 weeks or so........ she says hopefully......

and also I am completely rawdogging another fic / project that won't be up for a while for ~reasons~ but is still very exciting and has been in my head for a while. and that's all folks! sending love as always

#ames rambles #no one asked but I miss being on here so #writing update

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i-could-be-so-much-more · 7 months

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I have spent probably 6 months, on and off, writing a wolfstar fic. It’s about 15k so far, probably got another 3-4k to go, and it might be the hardest I’ve ever worked on a fic.

It’s that thing where I can’t wait to finish it and put it out into the world, seeing if people enjoy it, reap the fruits of my labour, but also I’ve spent so much time on it now that I want to keep writing it forever and keep it for myself

It’s nothing special, it’s littered with grammatical errors and accidentally flips between tenses and pov’s sometimes, but also I’ve been lovingly crafting it for so long, it’s like a pet project

Part of me is wondering if I should get it beta read, or if I just wanna rawdog it and hope

I love writing so much

It is the bane of my existence

#personal #fanfiction #wolfstar #Remus/Sirius #Remus Lupin/Sirius Black #I just got a lotta feeling about this fic

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princess-stabbity · 1 year

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the main reason i haven't been posting much lately is i got pathfinder: wrath of the righteous for my birthday and it's eaten my brain. i suggested amy play it, and offered to compile a mini guide, based on the immense amount of walkthrough reading and trial-and-error i have endured to get the most out of this clunky but enjoyable game. this is that guide. feel free to read or reply with your own tips, tho technically i'm just posting this here so it won't get lost in our messages.

in order (so you can know where to skip to) we have

general tips

mods

combat tips

crusade tips

general build tips

party build tips

chapter 1 tips

chapter 2 tips

chapter 3 tips

chapter 4 tips

general story tips

the secret ending

general tips

if you want a more detailed and spoilery guide, check out neoseeker or search the pathfinder_kingmaker subreddit (which is the main source for neoseeker's guides). the wiki kinda sucks.

the toybox mod is highly, highly useful. it's basically a dozen mods in one: it lets you get achievements with mods enabled, changes the dumb alignment system, allows polyamory, lets you cheat stuff into your inventory, respec characters on the fly, hear dialogue interjections from absent party members, etc. i strongly recommend it.

save like crazy. good god, the backtracking i have done.

owlcat's sense of pacing is real weird. like apparently in kingmaker they completely reverse the usual rpg logic and you need to do main quests before you can kick it with side quests (...usually). wrath of the righteous is a little better, but still kind of weird and uneven. i'll try to give headsups in the story tips section, but if in doubt, check if there's a lil red hourglass symbol in the journal. that means you need to do that before the main questline is done. they also usually warn you if a main quest is a point-of-no-return for the chapter.

the alignment system is...pretty dumb, imo. as i understand it, "good" and "evil" choices actually pull you towards neutral good and neutral evil, so you can end up like a guy i saw on the subreddit recently, who ended up losing his paladin powers while being explicitly praised by an angel for "pleasing heaven." bc it knocked him into neutral good. anyway, this is why i strongly recommed turning on toybox's "fix alignment system" setting, which should make it work the way you'd expect it to.

have at least one companion with high perception (pets are great for this, and every character rolls independently so more is better) and keep your finger on that tab key, brother. there are hidden shinies every goddamn where.

the puzzles are plentiful and most of them are very bad and annoying. i don't recommend bothering trying to figure them out yourself, just look up a solution. i say this as somebody who usually rawdogs bioware's tower of hanoi obsession.

while resting in the field, there are roles that call for one character to have high lore (religion), one to have high stealth, one to have high knowledge (world), one to have high knowledge (arcana) OR (iirc) lore (religion), and two to have high perception. one character can't fill multiple roles at once. that said, the knowledge rolls are optional (crafting/buffs), and the perception roles won't be needed if stealth does well enough. main takeaway being: try to keep at least one character with you that has a high religion score, and one that has a high stealth score, so you can rest peacefully.

if you see a nice item in the shop, it will probably be available in later acts. i busted my ass trying to buy shit early, in case i lost access to the vendors who sold it, but i've found most things are available again later from a different vendor. there are exceptions, but like. don't worry too much. the main upside of buying stuff early is that in some cases, it allows you to get two. main ones to look out for, off the top of my head, are the icy protector and red salamander rings. you can get two of those. broadly i'll say that, if you're debating what to buy in chapter 1, start with hawke and joran's stock.

when you leave an area, a prompt comes up that allows you to snag all the loose gear left on the map. you can sometimes use this to get around weight limits by dropping stuff and picking it back up via this menu, right before you leave. that said, buy bags of holding as soon as you find them.

"bulk selling" allows you to gather all the vendor trash in one go, which saves a lot of time and helps show what is, in fact, vendor trash. which is smth i struggled with a lot, early on. sell those giant spider legs, they ain't used for shit in this game.

in general, if it ain't unique and you're not using it, sell it. i've even sold some uniques i know i'll never use, like that diadem only usable by kineticists.

mods

unity mod manager

toybox. strongly recommend turning on "fix alignment," "allow achievements," and "no jealousy"

modfinder. a tool that lets you browse, search, (un)install, and update mods from both the nexus and github quickly and easily.

won't bother linking them all (should be able to find them in modfinder if you're interested) but for extra subclasses, feats, etc, i use tabletop tweaks, expanded content, and tome of the firebird. i find it kind of tricky and glitchy, but visual adjustment 2 allows changing portraits and character models. respecmod allows you to fully respec characters, rather than being restricted to respeccing them from the level you recruited them at (e.g., you could make seelah not a paladin, or choose new hexes and spells for ember's first 3 or 4 levels).

note that when updates hit, your mods may need to be updated, and since they get baked into your save, you can be SOL if a mod you're using is broken by an update and been abandoned by the author. so maybe don't be like me and download like 4 different class content mods. (that said, in my experience so far, mod authors have been very fast at updating for patches. the toybox dev in particular is quick as hell, thank christ.)

combat tips

the difference between life and death in this game is buffing. try to get a grip on what buffs do or do not stack, and which ones can be cast in advance so you don't have to spend a turn on it. some good ones in my experience: mage armor, protection from alignment, resist/protection from elements, all the stat buffs (e.g. cat's grace), magical vestment, barkskin, haste.

pets are god. dogs, wolves, and velociraptors are especially great, because they can trip enemies (w/o needing to select the "trip" feat), which makes the enemy lose a turn (they have to spend it getting up) and opens them up to bonus attacks from all party members in melee range (attack of opportunity). mounts (esp horses) also rock because their AC and health essentially act as a barrier, so make 'em as chunky as possible. investing in better stats (via the boon companion and/or mythical beast feats) is recommended, esp if you're multiclassing.

don't forget to buff pets! i give them all mage armor and magical vestment, just as a baseline, and if a tough battle is coming i also use bull's strength/cat's grace and uh. animal embiggerer. whatever the name is, i forgot and don't feel like looking it up. both camellia and nenio should be able to get it. oh, barkskin is good, too, i have lann cast his on his pet, since he's rarely on the frontlines and has great AC. magic fang, esp the improved version that lasts for hours, is great.

scrolls are fun and easy to use. they can fail if your character doesn't have a high enough "use magic" skill, but there's no skill check if it's a class spell (i.e., one their class can learn, not necessarily one they already know). this basically means you get a free casting of that spell, no spell slot required. arcane int-based casters can also learn spells from scrolls (tho you lose those extra spells if you respec and will have to learn them again).

scrolls are also good for having access to cures for some of the nastier debuffs, especially in chapter 1, where you don't have access to a cleric unless you rolled one yourself or specced lann into it. buying some emergency remove blindness and restoration scrolls are recommended.

potions can basically act as a free spell, just like scrolls, but with the added bonus of not requiring any "use magic" skill. so have your fighters and rogues etc glug away

crusade tips

the key is to recruit either chief ageboya or setsuna shy as your general (and, if you create a second force, recruit whichever of the two you didn't pick first). place melee units to stand guard in front of archers, and use the archers + your general's scorching ray/fireball to wreck the shit out of enemy units before they can even reach your melee lines. once they get healing spells and some ranks in master of maneuver (+1 unit per army) shit really pops off.

don't accept heavy losses. reload.

never feel like you have to fight an enemy army that isn't marked green. just wait.

bite the bullet and give irabeth that 7k for extra soldiers, it's worth it.

my fav units so far are hellknights, clerics, shieldbearers, and any kind of archer but especially marksmen and mongrel archers. pick up more of these units often.

army get strong from more guys + the general leveling up

it can be difficult to figure out a good rhythm for moving your party vs moving your armies, but you pick it up after awhile. basically, have your army move until they run out of points, then send your party wherever they need to go. once the clock at the top of the page hits midnight, take control of your armies again to hit "continue" so they continue moving. switch as often as necessary to get everybody where they need to be.

when building outposts, start with the engineering workshop (lowers costs for all subsequent buildings), then start placing a supply cart in basically every outpost you've captured. inns can generate income, but only if you place them before/instead of garrison buildings.

i would also recommend saving the left block of space in drezen for the 4-square buildings, and building stuff like hospitals and apothecaries in the lower block of space, leaving the main block for military units and buff buildings. but that's just me.

don't feel like you have to wipe every enemy off the map. due to the way morale mechanics work, it's good to spread battles out a bit.

in chapter 3, it's better to spend funds on buildings and mercs than trainable troops (e.g. footmen, archers, light scouts). try to have a decent number of forts built up by the end of the act.

save a few decrees that boost morale for a rainy day. just in case.

there's a limit to how many forts and bastions you can have, so think strategically about which ones you want to upgrade. having the ability to teleport to different parts of the map can really help cut down on travel time (assuming you want to).

you can save while on the world map (tho only one save per in-game calendar day for some reason), and it's a good idea to save before entering drezen, because often scenes in the citadel will trigger automatically when you load in.

general build tips

i recommend tabletop tweaks and respecmod. the former adds some good content from tabletop (the pet feats in particular are great), and respecmod allows you to fully respec your companions (goodbye, subpar class choice and un-respeccable character levels!) or respec your main character without having to fully remake them from scratch and lose their 'biography' section. i can grab the relevant settings for you if need be (took a lot of trial and error to get a handle on that).

dexterity is king. high dex builds are generally much sturdier than armor-based ones. part of why cat's grace is arguably the best of the stat buff spells.

point-blank + precise shot are basically necessary for everyone except strict melee characters. even spellcasters have to take these as soon as possible, because many spells count as ranged attacks and frankly you don't have enough slots early on not to use a crossbow anyway.

due to an exploit, lots of people take the crane style feats to buff AC. it goes dodge -> improved unarmed strike -> crane wing/riposte/etc. i don't really think they're necessary on normal difficulty (and tabletop tweaks might remove the exploit by default? haven't checked) but it's good to know.

another very good feat chain is weapon focus -> dazzling display -> shatter defenses, especially if you decide to go with the trickster mythic like i did and get the persuasion 1 trick, or have a skald or dirge bard in your party.

the outflank teamwork feat is also fantastic. mostly for melee fighters, but if you have a feat to spare on a ranged fighter, you may as well (iirc they can proc but not benefit directly from it). make sure to get it on pets, too, including mounts (they count as being in range with their rider at all times!). pets need 3 int to choose teamwork feats, so either give them all a boost to intelligence, or wait until you have a +2 int tiara and keep it in the inventory to put on them for levelups (as i do).

archmage armor and abundant spellcasting are very good mythic abilities for spell casters. you probably want to prioritize them. note that archmage armor only works if YOU cast mage armor on yourself (e.g., don't have a party member do it for you), but the bonus still applies if it's via potion or scroll.

cleaving shot is a great mythic ability for ranged characters. it's free AOE.

if you get tabletop tweaks, there's a short feat chain that's smth like nature spirit -> animal companion, which is a pretty low-cost way to get an animal companion without multiclassing. go wild. who needs to fit thru doorways.

combat reflexes and ever ready mythic ability are excellent choices for melee units, especially with trip and outflank. extra attacks of opportunity basically let your melee units say "oh no you don't" when enemies try to run past them to hit your ranged characters.

if you want to plan future builds, you can always save, then use toybox to grant yourself full levels to plot out the possibilities. i did that a lot.

party builds

seelah: a lot of people say seelah is a mediocre tank, but there's actually a pretty easy way to fix that: a tiny dip in oracle. i leveled her up as a paladin until 5, when she gets her horse, then took a level of oracle and chose nature mystery, which gives her access to an ability called "nature's whispers," which lets her use charisma rather than dex for AC. ta da! as a bonus, there's an "extra revelation" mythic feat option, so i also grabbed her the one that gives boosts to nearby animals. now she's one of the strongest members of my party. for the oracle curse, most people would rec wolf-scarred face, but i don't like that for story reasons, so i chose the one that affects her movement speed, because she's on her horse 24/7 anyway. "pranked" is also ok. if you don't use tabletop tweaks (or turn the fix off in settings) you can also take a dip in scaled fist monk, to stack the charisma AC bonus (i didn't).

camellia: pretty solid all-rounder, generally best as off-tank and skill monkey. i recently respecced her original subclass from spirit hunter to shadow shaman because i think it makes more sense, and paired with a two level dip into alchemist vivisectionist, i think i've finally got her in a good place after trying out a pretty subpar build. that said, straight shaman is not bad for her; general strategy is to give her iceplant hex and the icy protector ring to boost her armor early on, then have her slap on some buffs and go melee with her rapier.

lann: i recommend either giving him only one level of his default class, or, perhaps better yet, fully respeccing him into crusader cleric and/or demonslayer ranger and/or wandering marksman hunter. it makes more sense in-universe imo, and it's more useful (zen archer monk has some abilities that are kind of neat, but by endgame they have accuracy issues that weigh them down). i went ranger and it's been pretty swell, but i think next time i'll make him a cleric and give him "impossible domain: animal" ASAP so he can get back the sweet, sweet velociraptor buddy i gave him (true MVP of the party).

wenduag: sadly can't give too much advice here, but i've heard that mutation warrior + throwing axes turns her into an absolute beast. (note, however, that it takes a stupidly long time to get good throwing axes 💀 baby need CARNAGE)

woljif: haha sneak attack go brrrr. generally focus on self buffs (e.g., mirror image) and stuff like grease and haste and he'll do just fine. as long as another character is flanking the same enemy, or he's behind his target, he can dish out good damage, and sense vitals can fill the gaps in-between. that said, despite the name, i don't rec having him go arcane trickster, they're more of a blaster class. "slippery mind" rogue ability is a good idea, along with sneak attack debuffs.

ember: my baby. my joy. light of my life. against murder but very good at it! i personally leveled her as a mystic theurge (YOU get to be an oracle! YOU get to be an oracle! everybody gets a dip in ORACLE!!!), but that has devolved into a very delicate balancing act of spell selection, so you'll probably just want to level her as a pure witch, or witch with a minor dip in loremaster (so she can get, say, greater command, a spell available to oracles and clerics). pop that ring of the red salamander on her, give her weapon focus: rays and a few fire-based feats, maybe some enchantment ones to give her some very in-character non-violent CC options, and she's good as gold. pay attention to the description of hexes. some of them, like evil eye, are reduced to a single round if the enemy saves...which means, if you follow it up with a cackle each round, you can keep them debuffed forever, save or no save. protective luck and fortune are also great if you use toybox and toggle the option to have cackle extend for 10min out of combat. you can have ember buff-cackle-buff-cackle each party member to get universal advantage for hours.

nenio: ok look. scroll savant is not a bad subclass, i am told. but i highly recommend instead fully respeccing her as an arcanist brownfur transmuter. it makes just as much sense for her as a character, and they truly are the best buffers in the game. i am terrified to go anywhere without her now. she can juice all the stat boost spells, AND she can share "range: personal" buffs like shield or hurricane bow (tho i've recently learned seamantle doesn't work, i assume as an oversight 😑). she's effectively a spontaneous caster but can also learn spells from scrolls. as with vanilla nenio, all her lore and knowledge scores are crazy high, she can use basically any magical device (hello, spare wands!), and can take feats/gear to boost her illusion caster level to "fuck you, die." i'm telling you, brownfur transmuter nenio is the blueprint.

daeran: the king of healing. also an extremely solid buffer. honestly just go full oracle, maybe give him a second mystery. i went "bones" because, as a dhampir, i need the mcfucking help. it turns out animate dead is great for throwing meat(less)shields to buy time and protect squishy caster types. truly the backbone of the party.

sosiel: i used "impossible domain: animal" to give him a nice horsey, to keep him safe, since he is basically a dex-free tin can. "community" is also a very popular additional domain choice for him, since "guarded hearth" is apparently a good buff (can't say, have only remembered to use it once). keep him with glaives, there are a lot of good ones and the specialization is free, so...

regill: this little man slays. that said, you're way better off leveling him some more as an armiger, or dipping into cavalier, than giving him more levels in hellknight. i gave mine beastrider so i could put him on a smilodon, purely because that's fucking metal, and he rages around murdering shit. generally you'll want to give him two-handed weapon feats (to continue specializing in his weird hammer thing) and finesse stuff, tho you can compensate for his low strength pretty easily with the "enlarge person" spell, if you want to skip weapon finesse.

arue: honestly op. unless you really wanna try respeccing her from start as a bard or smth, just let her do her thing. "instant enemy" and "ranger's bond" or w/e it's called let her give good damage buffs to the whole party. ranged dps queen.

greybor: personally, i lightly respecced him to use throwing axes, but if you want to go vanilla, crpgguy on youtube has a solid build to check out. if you want to go with my build, keep him a slayer but choose ranged perks (except manyshot), two-weapon fighting, and weapon focus/specialization throwing axes. oh, and same recs as woljif for rogue abilities. i recently got him the ability to damage constitution with his sneak attacks and it's glorious.

chapter 1 tips

when you get to kenabres, an invisible timer starts counting down to a big, tough battle. you'll want to a) put it off as long as possible, and b) prep for it. online sources and my own experience leave the exact mechanics of the countdown kind of a mystery. best guess is that it relies on number of rests, so try to go as long as you can without them. some quests fail or change if you don't do them first, so try to do the following before the battle procs:

recruit woljif in the basement.

recruit ember in the market square.

scout the tower of estrod and kill the enemies there, if you can. this may or may not buy you time, i'm not sure.

meet prelate hulrun and settle the issue between him and ramien (i suggest showing hulrun the sword, and strongly suggest bringing ember).

go to the burning library (there's checks here for perception, lore (religion), and persuasion (diplomacy) you'll probably want to pass.)

as for prep: generally gain as much experience as you can so you'll be as strong as possible before it procs. grease and to a lesser extent create pit are useful for choke points and are available to both woljif and nenio, and can be bought or crafted into scrolls beforehand if need be. just remember you have no access to selective metamagic yet, so try to keep your own guys from slipping around all silly by either having them attack from range behind the trap, or stand in front of it (i went ranged, even for seelah). besides the very obvious chokepoints the game makes you aware of, you can also lay these down at the enemy spawnpoints by the ladders (though you will affect the allied soldiers, too, so keep that in mind). focus on the alchemists; every other enemy is secondary. kill or disable them as quickly as possible.

chapter 2 tips

if you saved the disciples of desna in kenabres and sang along with them in act 1, then solve the (pretty easy) puzzle at the altar of desna at the base of the lost chapel, you can recruit a very useful companion early. look for them in the drezen prison.

chapter 2 is less time-sensitive than chapter 1, but you get a lil reward if you finish it within 2 months. not too hard, imo

try to put off moving the camp to just south of drezen, because a whole bunch of shit kinda pops off at once.

pay attention to nurah. pop into her tent a few times. a high perception skill will get you far.

the only things really worth grabbing in leper's smile are the robe of silky veil (you can use savescum with quicksave to look for it without losing time) and the halfling in the crevice.

honestly i recommend cranking down the difficulty for a lot of the lost chapel quest because the game is keeping track of npc casualties and those motherfuckers pop like grapes if you don't nerf the shit outta enemies, even on normal difficulty. one fight in particular i kept having 3-4 out of 5 immediately die in the first round, even when i got a good initiative roll and came out the gate with controlled fireball. very frustrating experience.

to stop the constantly reviving undead in that one cave, you need to grab the interactable object near the center of the area.

chapter 3 tips

at the beginning of chapter 3, immediately head south, towards the chapel, and keep going until you get two not-so-random encounters.

then head towards molten scar (just south of greengates) with seelah to get a time sensitive quest done.

take arue to wintersun. (probably take someone with a good lore (nature) skill, too. and somebody with fire spells. dear god. you will need so much fire.) don't feel like you need to complete the whole map in one go, you WILL have to come back at least once for one of the side quests.

blackwater has a lot of tough combat. prep for electricity damage.

chapter 4 tips

still in it, so my advice at this point is just to start with battlebliss. the story flows more naturally that way, tho they don't tell you that.

you can turn the fleshmarkets into a tarantino movie, but buy the shit you want from the vendors first. or don't, and cheat it into your inventory via toybox. up to you. if you need the funds, returning to the midnight isles dlc can help.

as it turns out, you only get the one chance to free suture, so if you wanna do that, don't be like me and go "oobh i got plany off time"

general story tips

don't be a buzzkill at daeran's party by making him work. try to keep things fun, and tell him you think he can change or that he can trust you. he likes it if you banter playfully with him, and will interject during a lot of quests (i particularly enjoyed his comments in the grey garrison).

lann's mostly straightforward from what i can tell, but you can miss some of his content annoyingly easily. :/ make sure to check in with him every now and then (i feel like his dialogue updates more than any other companion so far, but there's no notification from the game when that happens, so you just have to swing by and talk to him to see). and take him camping with you, if you want to romance him. there's also no indication of this from quest markers or anything, but at one point he'll ask you to meet him back at your home base, but when you arrive, there'll just be a note in his usual spot. look for him by the local tavern. (not sure if this is romance-specific, but just in case)

wenduag has a massive humiliation kink

don't be judgey of greybor, and pay him what he's worth (or more, if you've got the money and are feeling generous, like i was). make sure to have at least 12,500 gold on hand when you go on the hunt with him, or you'll lose the chance to recruit him permanently.

bring your favs to the desolate hovel! the combat isn't hard, and there are some juicy character moments. kicking myself for not bringing ember, because i bet hers is great (thanks to toybox, i did get to enjoy a cute bit of dialogue between her and daeran).

the secret ending

i'm gonna try to lay out the requirements with as few spoilers as possible. if you don't wanna know, just skip this. i may be missing some stuff, or including some stuff that isn't strictly required, but this is my best understanding of it, distilled as much as possible.

note that unlocking the secret ending does not mean you have to actually choose it.

choose the crossbow in the prologue

keeping the purple stone knife is advised but not required

pick up every midnight bolt you see, and only use them against demon lords. (if you don't get a "new" crystal, you wasted the bolt on an invalid target and need to reload.) apparently if you use one on the big bad himself, you need to grab the crystal as quickly as possible or it'll disappear?

finish your mythic questline all the way through. don't choose the "legend" mythic.

help the storyteller collect elven notes

don't reject the idea of learning from demons

do not enable auto-crusade

research the sword of valor (first available in chapter 3), the crystals (first available in chapter 5), areelu's drafts (not sure, probably 5), and the records of pulura's stargazers (maybe as early as 3 for angels, 5 for everybody else) via crusade management

grab the book, accept its power, find a way to put it back together

have high perception, ask areelu about suture (not an option in the first convo with her, i think this is in chapter 4)

tell hep she shouldn't have trusted her dad

in the secret lab (not on the first visit, since they weren't there when i got there), click on the crib, drawings, and textbooks in that order, which will give you gloves. take said gloves.

pour the secret sauce over the summoning circle in the lab. kill the demon outside the summoning circle for convenience's sake

save the library

the ending date is important. enter the final area between 16 and 21 gozran. doesn't matter what year.

don't waste time examining areelu's wards, launch directly into "stop! listen to me!"

#i say 'mini guide' but actually this is very long! don't say i didn't warn you!

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yourturntosimp · 2 years

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can I ask for yandere! Sara Chidouin headcanons? I’d love to see your take on her

A/N: HI im finally posting, i was working on my summer work up until this point <///3 working on making an actual schedule for my work instead of just rawdogging it, so hopefully more frequent posts!! TWs: Clinginess, Mentions of joe, Panic attack mention, Overprotectivity, Paranoia mention, Guilt-tripping, Forced dependency, Manipulation

🔑 yikes

🔑 ,,,good luck JHGFDS

🔑 sara is pretty easy to become friends with, all things considered!

🔑 she’s kind, supportive, fun,,,

🔑 all-around very charming!

🔑 she doesn’t seem the type to get crushes often, so when she falls, she falls hard

🔑 enter; you!

🔑 once you’re friends with her, it feels like you’ve known her forever

🔑 it’s a nice little group to take your mind off of your current situation of being kidnapped and put into a death game yk–

🔑 just you, her, and joe against the world!

🔑 that is…until joe “expires”

🔑 it’s all downhill from here lmao

🔑 you can’t help but notice that she becomes more clingy than she was before 🔑 she becomes nervous and on-edge whenever you go somewhere without her with you, whenever you talk to someone besides her… 🔑 it gets so bad that she starts to get freaked out when you aren’t right beside her

🔑 but you brush it off anyways– she’s just lost her best friend, of course she’d be distressed!

🔑 it’s not that big of a problem, is it? You can put up with it for now, just until she gets better

🔑 except…she doesn’t get better

🔑 in fact, it seems like she just gets worse

🔑 she stops using all of her time to grieve and mourn, of course, but the problem arises when you leave her alone

🔑 she starts to full-on panic, having attacks and all

🔑 and what kind of monster would you have to be to leave her in such a state?

🔑 she’s only worried about you! She’s just lost joe, she can’t lose you too

🔑 so of course she keeps your best interest in mind as she distances you from the others in the group 🔑 she just wants to keep you safe! Not only is she supposed to be your leader, but she’s supposed to be your girlfriend! (you just haven’t noticed that last bit yet) 🔑 so you don’t question it when she leaves your side for a few minutes to discuss something in private with someone who accidentally bumped into you earlier 🔑 she’s probably just trying to catch up with them, after only hanging out with you for all this time!

🔑 you don’t question it when nobody will meet your gaze– they might just be feeling low in morale given the situation, right? 🔑 you stop questioning it when sara refuses to let you go anywhere without her

🔑 she’ll stop crying, only because it seems like it’s wearing off as a means to convince you

🔑 she’ll just make up for it by reminding you of your current situation 🔑 you’re all in a death game, your only true friend here would shut down if you leave, and nobody else wants to be in a 2-foot proximity to you

🔑 she’s all you have, and you’re all she has 🔑 she’s not pleading, and you aren’t choosing to stay

🔑 she’s telling you to stay with her, so you will

🔑 you don’t have a choice <3

#zuzu writes #sara chidouin #yttd sara #sara yttd #your turn to die sara #headcanons #yandere yttd #tw yandere #yandere #kgs #kimi ga shine #kimi ga shine x reader #yttd #yandere kgs #gn reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral y/n #your turn to die x reader #your turn to die

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numbaoneflaya · 1 year

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Playing sims is so fucking funny bcs my Jilly sim is constantly surprising me by acting like Jilly 100%. Things my Jilly sim does on her own with 0 input from me

-Has a santa hat she wears randomly at any given time. Iv tried removing it from her outfits but she just keeps putting it back on somehow.

-In the middle of doing anything i tell her to do she will stop doing it, put things down, and sob into her hands on bent knees. Then she straightens up wipes her eyes and continues doing the thing like nothing just happened. This happens like every 20 minutes.

-KEEPS fucking pranking the toilet so that it will explode, but then apparently forgets about it a minute later and uses the toilet so it explodes on her and she gets incredibly upset about it.

-Literally the second Vince walks in the room (which is most of the time since they share a small house) she gets the flirty moodlet. If i so much as move the camera away for a minute when i come back they are rawdogging everywhere.

-Gets her items stuck in somehow every vending machine shes ever used. Has almost died like 3 times by trying to body slam it afterwards and it falls on her.

-CONSISTENTLY makes a joke that she laughs so hard at that she goes into hysterics and actually dies. I have to savespam every 10 minutes or so or she will literally keep killing herself by laughing at her own jokes

-No matter what other household im playing as she finds a way to show up. Like ill load up a household in an entire different world thats never met her and she will just be in the house playing with clay

#jilly #theres more than this but jilly is literally destroying my sims in the funniest but most annoying ways possible #EVERY TIME i go somewhere in game jilly is there. jilly what are you doing. jilly stop telling jokes youll die again #not to mention the amount of times other sims have been disgusted. outraged bcs her and vince will fuck on every available surface #girl this is the gym bathroom floor can you two QUIT IT

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jesuisgourde · 2 years

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i cant believe i manage to rawdog reality it’s fuckin wild

i mean i guess i dont really because if i read more than 2 different news stories in one day i feel like i’m losing my fucking mind so instead i dont read the news and i like bury myself in books and fandoms and random projects and dont leave my house and shit but like christ

how the fuck do people have the mental capacity to read the news and then like go about their daily lives or whatever or even do more than that and do activist shit or something. if i read full news articles on 3 separate current events in a day i’m like cool my brain is shutting down for the day or possibly the week so i don’t go into a spiral about how awful and overwhelming everything is. like im surprised i’ve gotten this far without substance abuse and really its only been because i know i have a really really addictive personality so i try to avoid that shit. but that also then means avoiding a lot of reality most of the time too. and there are people out there who just casually read this shit? or talk about this shit? and do it most days? people who can just exist in the world? what?

whenever i see the news it’s just a reminder that the only reason i don’t spiral into a truly horrible depression like i used to is because i try very very very hard to not think about it (it being the outside world and also my own terrible brain) and distract myself as much as possible because otherwise everything is just uhhhh bad.

#personal

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kaile-hultner · 3 years

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Nihilism is so easy, which is why we need to kill it

(I initially published this here a couple weeks ago.)

So last night it dawned on me that, after over two years of being relatively symptom-free, my depression snuck back up on me and has taken over. It’s still pretty mild in comparison to other times I’ve been stuck in the hole, but after 24 months (and more) of mostly being good to go, I can tell that it’s here for a hot minute again.

How do I know? Well, it might be the fact that I spent more time sleeping during my recent vacation from work than I did just about anything else, and how it’s suddenly really hard for me to stay awake during work hours. I don’t really have an appetite, and in fact nausea hits me frequently. I don’t really have any emotional reactions to things outside of tears, even when tears aren’t super appropriate to the situation (like watching someone play Outer Wilds for the first time). And I’ve been consuming a lot of apocalyptic media, to which the only response, emotional or otherwise, I can really muster is “dude same.”

For a long time I was huge into absurdist philosophy, because it felt to my depressed brain like just the right balance between straight up denying that things are bad (and thus we should fix them, or at least try to do so) and full-blown nihilism. This gives absurdism a lot of credit; mostly it’s just a loose set of spicy existentialist ideas and shit that sounds good on a sticker, like “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”

In the last couple years, while outside of my depressive state, I went back to Camus’ work and found a lot of almost full-on abusive shit in it. Not toward anyone specifically, but shit like “nobody and nothing will care if you’re gone, so live out of spite of them all” rubs me the wrong way in retrospect. The philosophy Camus puts out opens the door for living in a very self-destructive fashion; that in fact the good life is living without care for yourself or anyone/anything else. The way Camus describes and derides suicide especially is grim as fuck, and certainly I would never recommend The Myth of Sisyphus to anyone currently struggling with ideation. That “perfect balance” between denial and nihilism is really not that perfect at all, and in fact skews much more heavily towards the latter.

Neon Genesis Evangelion has been a big albatross around my neck in terms of the media products I’ve consumed in my life that I believe have influenced my depression hardcore. It sits in a similar conversational space to Camus’ work, in that it confronts nihilism and at once rejects and facilitates it. A lot of folks remark that Evangelion is pretty unique – or at least uncommon – in its accurate portrayal of depression, especially for mid-90s anime properties. The thing I notice always seems to be missing in these discussions is that along with that accurate portrayal comes a spot-on – to me, at least – depiction of what depression does to resist being treated. This is a disease that uses a person’s rational faculties to suggest that nobody else could possibly understand their pain, and therefore there’s no use in getting better or moving forward. Shinji Ikari is as self-centered as Hideaki Anno is as I am when it comes to confronting the truth: there are paths out of this hole, but nobody else can take that step out but us, and part of our illness is that refusal to do just that. Depression lies, it provides a cold comfort to the sufferer, that there is no existence other than the one where we are in pain and there is no way out, so pull the blanket up over our head and go back to sleep.

Watching Evangelion for the first time corresponded with the onset of one of the worst depressive spirals I’ve ever been in, and so, much like the time I got a stomach virus at the same time that I ate Arby’s curly fries, I kind of can’t associate Evangelion with anything else. No matter what else it might signify, no matter what other meaning there is to derive from it, for me Eva is the Bad Feeling Anime™. Which is why, naturally, I had to binge all four of the Evangelion theatrical releases upon the release of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon A Time last month.

If Neon Genesis Evangelion and End of Evangelion are works produced by someone with untreated depression just fucking rawdogging existence, then the Eva movies are works produced by someone who has gone to therapy even just one fucking time. Whether that therapy is working or not is to be determined, but they have taken that step out of the hole and are able to believe that there is a possibility of living a depression-free life. The first 40 minutes or so of Evangelion 3.0+1.0 are perfect cinema to me. The world is destroyed but there is a way to bring it back. Restoration and existence is possible even when the surface of the planet might as well be the surface of the Moon. The only thing about this is, everyone has to be on board to help. Even though WILLE fired one of its special de-corefication devices into the ground to give the residents of Village 3 a chance at survival, the maintenance of this pocket ecosystem is actively their responsibility. There is no room or time for people who won’t actively contribute, won’t actively participate in making a better world from the ashes of the old.

There are a lot of essentialist claims and assumptions made by the film in this first act about how the body interacts with the social – the concept of disability itself just doesn’t seem to have made it into the ring of safety provided by Misato and the Wunder, which seems frankly wild to me, and women are almost singularly portrayed in traditionalist support roles while men are the doers and the fixers and the makers. I think it’s worth raising a skeptical eyebrow at this trad conservative “back to old ways” expression of the post-apocalypse wherever it comes up, just as it’s important to acknowledge where the movie pushes back on these themes, like when Toji (or possibly Kensuke) is telling Shinji that, despite all the hard work everyone is doing like farming and building, the village is far from self-sufficient and will likely always rely on provisions from the Wunder.

As idyllic as the setting is, it’s not the ideal. As Shinji emerges from his catatonia, Kensuke takes him around the village perimeter. It’s quiet, rural Japan as far as the eye can see, but everywhere there are contingencies; rationing means Kensuke can only catch one fish a week, all the entry points where flowing water comes into the radius of the de-corefication devices have to be checked for blockages because the water supply will run out. There is a looming possibility that the de-corefication machines could break or shut down at some point, and nobody knows what will happen when that happens. On the perimeter, lumbering, pilot-less and headless Eva units shuffle around; it is unknown whether they’re horrors endlessly biding their time or simply ghosts looking to reconnect to the ember of humanity on the other side of the wall. Survival is always an open question, and mutual aid is the expectation. Still: the apocalypse happened, and we’re still here. The question Village 3 answers is “what now?” We move on, we adapt.

Evangelion is still a work that does its level best to defy easy interpretation, but the modern version of the franchise has largely abandoned the nihilism that was at its core in the 90s version. It’s not just that Shinji no longer denies the world until the last possible second – it’s that he frequently actively reaches out and is frustrated by other people’s denials. He wants to connect, he wants to be social, but he’s also burdened with the idea that he’s only good to others if he’s useful, and he’s only useful if he pilots the Eva unit. This last movie separates him and what he is worth to others (and himself) from his agency in being an Eva pilot, finally. In doing so, he’s able to reconcile with nearly everyone in his life who he has harmed or who has hurt him, and create a world in which there is no Evangelion. While this ending is much more wishful thinking than one more grounded in the reality of the franchise – one that, say, focuses on the existence and possible flourishing of Village 3 and other settlements like it while keeping one eye on the precarious balancing act they’re all playing – it feels better than the ending of End of Eva, and even than the last two episodes of the original series.

I’m glad the nihilism in Evangelion is gone, for the most part. I’m glad that I didn’t spend roughly eight hours watching the Evamovies only to be met yet again with a message of “everything is pointless, fuck off and die.” Because I’ve been absorbing that sentiment a lot lately, from a lot of different sources, and it really just fuckin sucks to hear over and over again.

It is a truth we can’t easily ignore that the confluence of pandemic, climate change, authoritarian surge and capitalist decay has made shit miserable recently. But the spike in lamentations over the intractability of this mix of shit – the inevitability of our destruction, to put it in simpler terms – really is pissing me off. No one person is going to fix the world, that much is absolutely true, but if everyone just goes limp and decides to “123 not it” the apocalypse then everyone crying about how the world is fucked on Twitter will simply be adding to the opening bars of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

We can’t get in a mech to save the world but then, neither realistically could Shinji Ikari. What we can do looks a lot more like what’s being done in Village 3: people helping each other with limited resources wherever they can.

Last week, Hurricane Ida slammed into the Gulf Coast and churned there for hours – decimating Bayou communities in Louisiana and disrupting the supply chain extensively – before powering down and moving inland. Last night the powerful remnants of that storm tore through the Northeast, causing intense flooding. Areas not typically affected by hurricanes suddenly found themselves in a similar boat – pun not intended – to folks for whom hurricanes are simply a fact of life. There’s a once-in-a-millennium drought and heatwave ripping through the West Coast and hey – who can forget back in February when Oklahoma and Texas experienced -20 degree temperatures for several days in a row? All of this against the backdrop of a deadly and terrifying pandemic and worsening political climate. It’s genuinely scary! But there are things we can do.

First, if you’re in a weather disaster-prone area, get to know your local mutual aid organizations. Some of these groups might be official non-profits; one such group in the Louisiana area, for example, is Common Ground Relief. Check their social media accounts for updates on what to do and who needs help. If you’re not sure if there’s one in your area, check out groups like Mutual Aid Disaster Relief for that same information. Even if you’re not in a place that expects to see the immediate effects of climate change, you should still consider linking up with organizing groups in your area. Tenant unions, homeless organizations, safe injection sites and needle exchanges, immigrant rights groups, environmental activist orgs, reproductive health groups – all could use some help right now, in whatever capacity you might be able to provide it.

In none of these scenarios are we going to be the heroes of the story, and we shouldn’t view this kind of work in that way. But neither should we give into the nihilistic impulse to insist upon doing nothing, insist that inaction is the best course of action, and get back under the blankets for our final sleep. Kill that impulse in your head, and fuck, if you have to, simply just fucking wish for that better world. Then get out of bed and help make it happen.

#Neon Genesis Evangelion #existentialism #philosophy #media criticism #cultural criticism #spoilers

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