#these were tags I had on a different lost in making
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Alastor/sheep!Reader- Red Riding Hood (Ao3 Request)
I had so much fun with this! And I'm thinking about doing a little mini-series of retellings of fairy tales because of this so 👀
Tags: chase; outside sex; rough sex; predator/prey for like 3 paragraphs; reader is kind of a little shit
2.6k words
<3<3<3<3<3
The woods are dark and dense, and you curse yourself again for agreeing to undertake this journey for your new manager.
“It gets cold!” She had whined, gesturing to the hairless skin of her Sphynx cat form. “ I could freeze, and its really important that this delivery gets picked up tonight! You’re such a great friend,” she had gushed when you caved and agreed to make the trip for her, to the outermost edges of the Pride ring. Why couldn’t she have just air-shipped the package? “The customer doesn’t like modern technology.” Why not have him come get it? “He isn’t really a people person, I don’t want to scare anyone off.”
An idiot is what you were- an idiot that was new to Hell and didn’t have many other options for jobs. You were sweltering under the stupid red cloak that she had given you, swearing up and down that the forest you’d be going through got chilly at night and insisting that you take it with you; the only plus to the damned thing was that it had a pocket into which you could slip the delivery parcel. Even though you weren’t technically properly trained for deliveries yet, the thick wool that coated the lush curves of your sheep-like body apparently made you the perfect candidate for the trip through the ‘cold’ woods.
“Bullshit,” you mutter, throwing the hood of the damned thing back and letting the soft breeze whip past your ears. The trees seem to whistle their displeasure at your presence, your hair swirling around your face as you head in the general direction that the app on your phone directed you.
There’s a sudden growl in the air, and you freeze where you stand. It almost rumbles the ground beneath your feet, and glancing over your shoulder you see a hint of crimson eyes staring from the darkness.
Fuck that. You take off without any further inspection of the glowing gaze, tossing your phone into the cloak pocket as you run- you don’t need to know what it is if it's going to try to hurt you somehow, and you don’t give a damn about the delivery being on time if it means risking your life. Why wouldn’t your manager have told you there was dangerous shit out here? You get that it’s Hell but for fuck’s sake.
Your lungs are aching as you continue on, not willing to slow or stop while you can still hear the crashing of tree branches and snarling behind you, right at your heels. There’s a hand on the hood of your cloak then, pulling you backwards, and without thinking you slam your head back, horns miraculously hitting home right in the creature’s face. It releases you with a pained groan and you don’t look back, booking it as fast as you can in a different direction, stitch in your side growing more and more painful with every step.
The woods are silent as you finally slow and stop, bracing your back against a tree and trying to catch your heaving breath. Your whole body is on fire, physical exertion having never been your strong suit, but you’re still alive and that’s what matters- body aches will heal, but you heard that regeneration was a bitch.
“Are you chilly, darling?”
The unexpected voice makes you whip around, cloak whirling as you turn. “Fuck!” Your heart is still beating like a drum, hard hammering against your chest from the run before you had stopped to rest.
The demon casually leaning against a nearby tree watches you with a wide grin, a trickle of blood from his lips where your horns had slammed into him. His eyes, red and lidded, flick up and down your body. “It’s quite rude to leave a question unanswered.”
“It’s also quite rude to sneak up on people. Was that you chasing me?”
“Why, I’m just making sure that you are heading in the right direction! The number of people that have gotten lost on their way to me is truly a nuisance.” He eyes the shape of the package in your cloak pocket. “I’m pleased to see that this one hasn’t been lost to the forest yet.” He steps closer, holds a hand out to you. “Come along now, dear.”
“R-right. Can you confirm the name on the package?”
A wide grin, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Alastor.”
It matches the name on the package which is good enough for you. “Okay, great. Here you go.” You pull the box from your pocket and hold it out to him. “That’s all this needed to be.”
He cocks his head to one side. “Surely you won’t be leaving so soon.”
“I’m just here to make the delivery, sir.” Your hands are trembling with leftover adrenaline as he takes the parcel, inspects it for a moment, then unceremoniously tosses it over his shoulder into the darkness.
“Your work ethic is to be admired!” He exclaims, ignoring your outraged expression. “But there seems to be confusion- you are the delivery, darling.” When you stiffen at his words he chuckles and creeps closer, circling you like a predator. “Let me guess- you’re new to the shop, you aren’t trained for deliveries, and the manager had compelling reasons for why you should come instead of herself?”
“I-”
“We have an understanding, you see.” He trails a finger down the cloak hanging over your arm. “Retail is a hard business in Hell- no one wants to stick around, people are hard to train, they never last long anyway. Your manager has had to run several of my packages herself and the last one was, sadly, lost to the elements by her own fault.” He looks off into the distance, seemingly irritated at the memory. “What could have possessed her to attempt to cross a river with a priceless antique electronic is beyond me but here we are. I would have simply killed her but she has connections I can use to my advantage so we made a deal instead.” He looks back to you, head cocked to one side as he smiles. “An easy meal as compensation for her transgression. Delivered right to me.” His eyes darken, raking over your form, the curves of your body. “I hadn’t expected her to act so quickly but it’s been some time since I last had mutton.”
“I won’t taste good,” you tell him calmly despite the lingering fear from the chase, and an eyebrow raises in amusement. “When I was alive my mom always said I was rotten, I’m sure that doesn’t translate well to my demon form. And then you’ll have wasted your deal on bad meat.” You keep your voice steady while you address him.
“Oh?” He circles you and you can feel his gaze running over your body again. “I’m not so sure about that, dear- I’ve never found any complaints with meat of any kind. I’m sure you’ll be quite tasty.” He smiles when he comes around the front again, the sharp teeth glinting in the light that filters through the trees.
And fuck, the way he said that shouldn’t have been kind of hot. This was a serious situation, definitely not the time to be thinking vaguely inappropriate thoughts about the demon who was quite blatantly threatening to eat you. “Do you want to risk it?” You ask, and his smile turns curious. “I mean, I’d hate to have to tell you ‘I told you so’ but I would do it. The shop has new people like me coming in every week for training that you could have your pick of instead of taking the first thing to come along; what if you missed out on something really delicious?”
Alastor watches you carefully. “I suppose you have a point, darling,” he concedes, his slim shoulders shrugging. “A meal that talks back so much would surely be a poor one. Though I can’t say I’m not disappointed that I won’t get a chance to sample you.” His voice seems to drop, a rolling purr in the strange radio cadence he has that makes your hair stand on end and your heart thump in your chest.
“Maybe I could let you have a taste?” The words leave your mouth before you can stop them, the air between the two of you suddenly charged with tension. “Just, you know. Show you what I mean, that I won’t be any good. Rotten and all that, like my mom says.”
“On the contrary, I think you’ll be very good.” He steps closer to you, towers over your frame with hooded eyes that track the movement of your throat as you swallow. “But I’ll behave myself since you’ve shown me the error of my ways- a mere sampling of your flavor, nothing more. I suppose there is more that I could get out of your manager if I don’t ‘cash in’ right away, as it were.” He brings a claw tipped hand to cup your face, tilting your head one way then the other. “We’ll start here,” he murmurs, and you close your eyes, wait for the brush of his lips against yours.
It doesn’t come- instead you feel him lick along the column of your neck, the muscle hot and wet where it drags against your skin, a shuddering exhale leaving you at the feeling. One hand comes up to rest on your waist, the other unclipping the clasp of the red cloak you wear and letting it fall to the ground. You shiver without it, not from the cold but from the sensations raging through your body at such a simple touch, and Alastor pulls back, licking his lips at the taste of you.
“My disappointment at agreeing to let you go is immeasurable,” he whispers, pupils blown when he meets your eyes. “It’s just as I suspected- delicious.” The hand that released the cloak winds itself into your hair, brushing against the base of your horns. “Would you indulge me in another taste?”
You nod, not trusting your voice to come out clearly, and he swipes along your neck again, allowing his teeth to press gently against your pulse point before he continues down, snaking the hot appendage between the valley of your breasts and holding you tighter to his body. There’s still adrenaline coursing through your body making each touch feel like an electric pulse to your core, and when he growls into your chest you let out a quiet moan that echoes in the quiet woods.
One hand still tangled in your hair, thumb gently brushing against your horns, he slips his free hand under the waistband of your skirt and into your panties, inhaling sharply at the wetness he finds. Claws absent, he slides a finger inside of you, the press of it slow and steady, making you rock your hips into his hand.
“Someone’s eager, hm?” He presses another digit into the slickness of your cunt, bends his fingers in a way that his you seeing stars as he thrusts them in and out of your heat. You let out a soft cry against him and cling to his shirt, up on your tiptoes to let his fingers reach wherever he wants.
“More,” you whimper, letting one of your hands reach up to his face, a move that surprises him. “Please, Alastor.”
He brings his face up from your skin and devours your mouth, his tongue showing just as much attention to your mouth as he had your neck, licking into it with fervor and enthusiasm you wouldn’t have expected from him. “Would you let me have you, darling? This is hardly an appropriate place, but-”
“Yes,” you tell him, not even letting him finish his sentence, and he gently lowers you to the ground to lay across the expanse of the red cloak. He makes short work of his trousers, shoving your skirt up around your waist and slicing your panties off with a quick swipe of his fingers before he fists his cock and slots himself against you. “Oh fuck-” He impales you with a hard thrust, sinking in to the base with a harsh grip on your hips.
“Lovely,” he groans into your ear, and then he seems to lose the capability for language, his words devolving into harsh grunts and growls as he fills you over and over, snapping his hips against yours in a quick rhythm that leaves you gasping and trying to pull him closer.
A hand leaves your hips to tangle in your hair; you arch up, thinking that he means to kiss you again until his palm wraps around the length of one horn, using it like a handle to pull your head back, throat exposed to him while he rails into you. “Delicious little thing,” he says, and drags his tongue down the column of your throat again, sucking a pattern of bruises along it that you know you’ll spend the next week pressing into with your fingertips. His sharp teeth pinch a bit of skin lightly and you jerk in his hold.
It should have terrified you, instead dousing your body in a liquid flame. “J-Just tasting, remember,” you jokingly reprimand, and his laugh reverberates through your chest.
“How could I forget?” He lets go of your horn, slips the hand between your bodies as he leans back so he can watch you rocking with the force of his thrusts into you. His thumb swipes forcefully at your clit, the ecstasy near overwhelming as he loses some of his rhythm, your cunt clamping down on him. “It's quite selfish to deny me, darling, but I’ll take of you what I can- your pleasure, your body, all of it mine-”
Your eyes roll back in your head as the tension in your lower body snaps, dragging Alastor down with a hand in his hair to meet your lips, desperate and sloppy while you quake and shatter to pieces below him. He spends himself with a snarl in the tightness of your body, slick with your arousal and release as you cry out, the sound swallowed by his mouth.
He remains still for a moment, crouched over you, before he pulls back and rests you gently on the cloak. “This thing is hideous,” he says with distaste. “It made it quite easy to track you- which was the intention- but you must have been sweltering.”
You watch what you can see if the sky through the canopy of the trees. “She said it could get cold,” you laugh, “and I’m a fool. What a terrible job.”
“Not a fool,” he corrects, spreading the fabric out to lay on it beside you for a moment. “Nearly a victim of a deal that didn’t concern you- and perhaps I will still pay your manager a visit- but never a fool. You convinced me not to eat you for now, at least.”
You shoot him a smile. “Well, you weren’t that scary once you stopped chasing me,” you giggle, “besides those sharp teeth.”
His nose wrinkles with his amusement. “Keep teasing me, dear, and I’ll acquaint you with these sharp teeth for real.” He leans close enough to nip at your shoulder, the motion more teasing than painful. “There’s always tomorrow, after all- who knows what my appetite will be once I’ve dealt with that manager of yours? Mutton could still be on the menu.”
“Well,” you say, “if I’ll be out of a job soon so I might go apply at the coffee shop around the corner from our place. I heard their manager is a real ass- how would you feel about duck instead?” He laughs into your shoulder, the sound deep and clear, and you think maybe it wasn’t such a bad job after all if this was where it lead for now.
#hazbin hotel#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#alastor#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon#x reader#requests <3#my stuff <3
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How do you think the boys were when MC didn't come back for a day? I imagine Kaito starting a riot and probably crying. Maybe even failing to sneak out lol (I love him 😭)
Oh GOD! the CHAOS! I'm gonna do this more as a group headcanon for both houses. Thank you for sending in a request!
It was around lunch time when the message that MC went MIA on a mission. These are the headcanons of the brave souls that survived that day.
FROSTHEIM
Jin was already pissed that he lost his newest gopher (affectionate) to do stuff for him. But the second that message dropped. He had to do a double and even a triple take to make sure he read that right. As soon as he's sure he IMMEDIATELY get Tohma to check the tracker on the cruiser he lent out to them (he's rich. He absolutely has a tracker put on his shit)
Kaito is screaming, crying, throwing up (okay maybe not that last one). He's READY to go dive into the water to save MC. He is LOSING IT scoob!
Some would think that our boy Luca would try to keep Kaito calm....in actuality he's almost just as bad. He just manages to keep it on the inside. He's trying to do it through the proper channels (ie Professor Dante) but when that doesn't work or will take too long for their liking, he's coming up with an escape plan right alongside Kaito.
We gave to remember that Luca has already lost one of his loved ones. He's sure as HELL not losing another one without a fight!
Tohma is STRESSED! Not because MC is missing though. He's concerned sure, but he's sure they'll come back soon, missions are typically dangerous after all. He doesn't have much faith in the academy itself. Its more of a logical way of thinking. Its one day, he's sure they're fine.
Where his stress is coming from is the other Frostheim ghouls. He's basically that meme of someone with kids on leashes each going in different directions. Someone HELP this man's before he goes gray!
VAGASTROM
Alan had to hear from someone else. He was shocked to hear that MC had gone missing. It was even worse since the last time he saw them they weren't sure if their ability worked or how it worked. He went to go ask some of the professors to see what happened but got what was essentially nothing.
Sho was worried but he didn't show it. He tried to play it off like he was too focused on his food truck to worry about the honor student. He did however ask his brother about them when he saw him next. His brother mercilessly teased him about possibly liking MC and Sho instantly regretted asking. Every now and then he considered trying to call MC to see if they would answer.
He decided against it and focused more on his truck to keep his mind off of things.
Leo doesn't care. At this point he still wants to take MC down. So while its not the way he wanted to do it, it meant no more annoying NPC tagging along on missions with them. So to him, it was a win. The only annoying part was Alan and Sho worrying about them. He didn't get it and just laughed at the gossip on WickChat about the meltdown at Frostheim.
#tokyo debunker#headcanons#frostheim#jin kamurai#tohma ishibashi#kaito fuji#lucas errant#luca#Vagastrom#alan mido#shohei haizono#sho#leo kurosagi
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Appleradio/Radioapple secret marriage au part 4:
(Just letting yall know that I love seeing reblogs where you get personal with tags. Honestly didn't expect so many to like it so here's more. Please comment your thoughts and ideas cause I do think about them and I might actually add them.)
Husk liked the changes in Alastor. He liked how Alastor seemed kinder, never treated him as a cat anymore – it was probably since his attention was focused on both Lucifer and Charlie but he didn't care much.
Honestly, it was more unsettling to see Lucifer acting like that. The way honeyed words would spill from his lips with ease when he was drunk and 'alone' with Alastor – Husk was watching, but Alastor made him keep it a secret.
He especially didn't like the dynamic change. If Alastor got angry at him and decided to punish him then Lucifer would support Alastor each and every step of the way no matter how twisted he'd be. He learnt this from testing the waters – he intentionally taunted Alastor with the thought of wanting to see the new line of where to stop. And it was almost – keyword almost – funny to see Lucifer swoon for the way Alastor flexed the chain with ease, threatening Husk with forced calm which was a few words away from bursting.
But that incident was the only one in which Alastor almost lost his cool – Husk would like to keep it as the only one, too.
But, he'd never admit that he actually liked the new Alastor. The one who sometimes cook for the whole hotel, the one who barely paid attention to Vox, the one who didn't treat Husk like a pet and rather as an actual bartender (plus gambler). He'd never admit that he somewhat missed the way Alastor would pet his ears unpredictably in an attempt to make him purr – Alastor's boundaries were slightly blurred when it came to him initiating touches and especially so when it came to cats. It somewhat irritated him the way Alastor would avoid treating him that way the same way it filled him with happiness.
He wanted to be treated as a cat, but still as a human.
But it was irritating to be a third wheel around them in private. The way Lucifer would constantly be hugging Alastor and the way Alastor wouldn't mind being touched by Lucifer without warning – a similar way as with Rosie yet different. These touches were more intimate, with Lucifer even touching the tail of the deer. The tail that Husk had always wondered what it felt like with that same stoic expression on his face, the same tiredness in his eyes as he wondered how soft it was.
It was the same way he craved Alastor, in the way a predator would for prey. It didn't help that Alastor was an animal of prey, of all things. Of course, not a cat's main prey but Venison was admittedly tasty for Husk. How Alastor would have that enticing smell on him, which drew Husk in, made him salivate and imagine tearing the deer apart and bite into his flesh.
It was the main reason he lost his soul to the deer demon in the first place – he was hungry and lost his sense on reason especially when in such close proximity to the deer. It even reminded him of his first meal in hell, when he almost starved until finding a deer demon and tearing them apart, eating them raw with starvation until all was left was bones. And even then, the deer never smelt as good as Alastor did.
If most deer were just a good meal, Alastor was a delicacy that needed to be treasured. With rituals done before even touching him.
And it didn't help how he'd sometimes see bite marks on Alastor, made with different intentions yet still the same way he'd want to bite into him. It was why he still tested boundaries. He wanted to see how close he could get to the demon without causing anger. Because though he couldn't eat the demon, the smell was still enough.
His smell was why they became friends in the first place, and it was the reason he lost his soul, and it was the reason he was so irritated when he let Lucifer touch him.
He saw everything. The ring, the little touches, the gestures and even their alone time. It was to the point he almost told them to go somewhere else yet he ultimately decided not to. He didn't want to lose the hard-earned favour with Alastor.
He also saw how happy they'd be when paired together for trust exercises, the little spark in Lucifer's eyes and the way Alastor would be slightly more excited and willing to participate.
He didn't want to be Lucifer. He wanted Lucifer to be gone. He wanted Lucifer to back away from Alastor.
(Can this be twisted onesided Huskradio? Yes, yes it can.)
(Just for clarification, Husk's interest is more of wanting a good meal than love or possession, but if you want it can be actual love or sexual interest. Alastor is not sex-repulsed but if you hate that idea so much then just imagine the bite marks were from something else and please don't hate this just for the slight Huskradio. For more context, Al and Husk became friends when Husk was drawn in by Alastor's scent. He hid this thoroughly from Alastor and the day they made their deal Husk was particularly hungry. He lost a lot of his reason from that and had to consciously hold himself back from eating Alastor so that is most of the reason he lost the bet and his soul. He doesn't hate this but he doesn't love it either. It gives him the chance to get closer to Alastor with the hope that one day he might actually be able to eat Alastor. Husk doesn't consider himself a cannibal nor does he consider it cannibalism.)
👀
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Roommates | One Shot
Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader x Suguru Geto [MMF]
About:
You’re late on rent again and rather than evicting you, your roommates figure out a different way to make you pay.
Tags/themes:
Roommates AU, threesomes, dubious consent, one shot smut, doggy style, blowjobs, sexual coercion (to keep the rent free), kissing, 18+.
Final warning for dubcon, the reader is implied into it but the consent isn’t made clear.
Word count: 2.1k
You were late on rent again.
A couple months ago you had the excuse that you lost your job so you were short on your share, last month you missed it entirely.
This month you still didn’t have anything and your bank account was running dry, finding absolutely zero luck on the search—living frugally as a result.
Satoru always collected rent in the middle of the month as he was the one who owned the unit. His friend Suguru, lived in an adjacent room to his while you took the smaller room opposite.
Living with two men had certainly been an experience, but they both for the most part kept to themselves and would never bother you, but then you lost your job and your presence became more of a nuisance than just being someone in the background of their lives.
”Again?” Satoru asked as he maintained a friendly albeit strained smile, his tone not quite a whine but you could tell he wasn’t pleased either.
“I-I’ve been trying, but it’s so difficult to find work right now.” You replied, even though that excuse was starting to get stale; it was the truth, but the truth didn’t fill your pockets and that much was a problem.
His demeanour tightened as he struggled to remain polite; you knew that money wasn’t an issue for him and he could afford the entire place alone if he had to, but at the same time you could see where he was coming from.
He wasn’t usually so serious, but he did what he had to do when he needed to. The Satoru you would usually see, so carefree and vibrant, stifled down due to your own misfortune.
Suguru in the midst of this ate breakfast in utter silence as he watched the entire thing unfold from the kitchen table. You would meet his gaze every now and then by accident as he would then try to avoid you, staying quiet as he tried to eat through his good friend doing his best not to scold you.
You mustered up the courage and swallowed away the last of your dignity once more, surrendering to asking for one final chance.
“I know that it’s a lot to ask, but can you please… please give me just a little bit more time?”
His icy blue eyes flashed over your body for a moment, his body language thawing as a new idea came to mind. Instead of going back on forth with you on the topic, he took a deep breath and removed himself from your company momentarily.
His smile grew curt, laced with unreadable intent. “One moment.”
You sat yourself down on the arm rest of the sofa, watching as Satoru went off to whisper something off to Suguru. You considered genuinely just moving back home rather than bothering him further, the other prospect of couch surfing seeming daunting.
Every now and then you’d glance back to the kitchenette from the open plan area, watching as Satoru planned something with Suguru. Their expressions were a little too casual for it to have been something serious and your stomach coiled at the possibility of mockery.
Suguru seemed hesitant about something as his dark eyes landed on you every now and then, his gaze meeting with yours and then disconnecting. Satoru continued to dispense his trademark smile, eyeing you up and down from head to toe, settling on some type of resolution.
The two men then approached you, planting an an uncertain sort of feeling in your gut—your instinct begging for you to choose flight as they both closed in.
“It’s your lucky day,” Satoru announced, his voice suddenly playful and teasing, “rent’s on the house.”
There was definitely a catch.
You stood up and took a step back. “Why…?”
He took a step forward, following you in your tracks as he cornered you.
“You’re gonna do something for us, that’s why.” He added, his words doing nothing to settle your quickly building unease.
“Do what?” You dared to ask.
“You’re a smart girl, [name],” Satoru purred, “you can figure it out, can’t you?”
You weren’t an idiot; you could put two and two together to understand exactly what it was that he was implying—rent was on the house and you weren’t a total prude, understanding that he wanted you to pay your dues with a favour instead.
You just didn’t think it would ever come to something like this. How humiliating, almost.
It was the fact that Suguru seemed to be involved too that further worsened your feelings on the issue. You were already barely into the idea of trading sex for a place to stay, but you now had the influence of two slowly approaching guys who had a different sort of idea of what to do with you.
As you pondered all of the possibilities, you found yourself so distracted that you didn’t even have time to react properly—wait.
Satoru already gave into his building curiousity with you; his wandering fingers pinched at the hem of your top, rolling up the fabric to reveal your bare stomach—your arms protested by anchoring down, but his strength relented and he pulled it off of you completely.
His cruising pursuit moved towards your shorts next, revealing the finishing piece for your bra’s matching set—how cruel it was of such fate to align on a day when you’d be wearing such a thing; both of their eyes shining with a delighted glint.
You blushed as you scrambled to cover up, your cheeks burning cherry red as your temperature turned feverish from the events that quickly unfolded.
“You look so cute when you’re all embarrassed like that.” Satoru commented as he flashed you a cheeky grin, his frosted lashes fluttering as he continued to stare at your now exposed skin.
He slipped right behind you, pulling you into his chest—his arms wrapped around your stomach, his cock pitching against his trousers, feeling his hardness pressing against your back; he wanted you so much, so soon. His lips sank as he nibbled against your neck, leaving behind rosy love bites from suckled flesh.
“Can you feel how hard you’re making me, [name]?” Satoru asked as he continued to grind—you didn’t dare reply, your voice caught in the back of your throat whenever you’d try.
Suguru moved closer at this point too, finally giving into his own thoughts within the company of your exposed form. His dark eyes brightened as he glossed his gaze over your frame, reeling his focus back onto your chest—curious hands unable to resist a feel for a second longer.
His fingertips would then trace towards your upper body, finally parking at your jaw as his fingers settled on a pinch against your chin; he wanted to keep your sights pointed towards him and him alone.
Suguru then lowered his lips to meet with yours, his tongue slowly pushing into your mouth as the wet fleshy muscle wrestled with your own to keep you subdued, pulling strands of webbing saliva back as he disconnected the kiss, just as though to take in his sight of you before going any further.
He took a step forward with intentional purpose and drive, you stepped back as he herded you, finding yourself perfectly sandwiched in between both Satoru and Suguru with absolutely zero wiggle room to spare.
It was then that Satoru once again didn’t give you any room to think as his hands brushed around your waist; greedy hands palmed around your hips before retreating to to the base of your shoulders, pushing you down to assume an entirely different position as your body listened.
Before you even had a chance to react even further, you were on your hands and knees before them both. Your knobbly joints tanking the pressure from the wooden floor, a sensation slightly painful as it rubbed you raw.
Through it, you felt some type of deeply rooted shame as you didn’t even protest, instead accepting the pursuit—you liked this, not quite knowing nor understanding why; feeling so wanted, so desired by both of them at the same time.
Satoru’s trousers fell to his knees as he too surrendered to the floor, his sweatpants gathering by your legs as moved closer in. You felt the tip of his length tease you as he prodded against your opening before sliding into you with such welcomed ease; your pussy already soaked and taking him in without a single hint of a struggle.
“You’re loving this, aren’t you, [name]?” Satoru couldn’t help but tease, “—you’re so wet for me already~!”
Your breath hitched as you once again couldn’t reply, instead eliciting a rushed gasp as he rammed the rest of his cock into your gushing heat, filling the otherwise silent room with the sounds of smacking pleasure as his rhythm quickly surrendered to something hurried, rather than taking the time to savour you.
Suguru was next; his face continuing to focus on yours as he looked down, towering himself above you. He slowly lowered himself to his knees too, succumbing to a certain type of idea that he had in mind.
“Your eyes are so pretty,” he spoke, tweezing his fingertips to turn your chin to face him once again, “can you keep looking at me?”
You obeyed as you felt pulled in by his voice, focusing your sights on his eyes as his own hands trailed elsewhere, eager to give you a taste of himself.
Suguru aligned himself with your lips, teasing his tip as he slowly pushed himself in and filled out the rest of your mouth—you took him in so well as he continued to pack his meat inside.
He moved himself further in as he bucked at your skull with his length, delighted by the noises you made as you struggled to take him in. He relented regardless as searched for your throat, his hands weaving through your hair, brushing away stray strands to keep looking at your pretty face.
Satoru at the same time continued to pound into your pussy from behind, his hips slamming against your ass, fingernails sinking into your bruised flesh. Your ass rippled as his pursuit continued, palms hitting your cheeks causing your eyes to water while you gagged on Suguru in the meanwhile.
Struggling to maintain your balance, Suguru lifted you by your arms to keep you right where he wanted you; continuing to slide his meat into your throat, finding an almost sadistic joy in how you reacted.
High pitched whines and breathy moans harmonising with their own grunting pleasure.
His demanding gaze narrowed, his lips trembling as he succumbed to a desperate chant; “eyes on me, eyes on me—“
Satoru seemed to be close to the edge of climax as his thrusting reached relentless pace, his grip against your once blank flesh now canvassed blotched watercolour markings all around your thighs, leaving behind signatures of bloodied etching from such passionate consequence.
He groaned as he half moaned your name; his hold tightening as your own cries meshed with both pleasure and pain—he drilled into you with such anticipated drive before delivering one final pump, milking himself dry into your sopping warmth, before finally pulling out, gasping and entirely spent.
It didn’t take long for Suguru to catch up next as you adhered to his wishes quite well, taking him in like such a good girl—sucking on him as your cheeks clenched, sending him to places he could only dream to go, feeling his cock hit the back of your throat as he continued to fuck your mouth the best that he could.
His release was sudden, emptying thick loads of a hot mess that pooled in your mouth, trailing against your chin as he finally pulled out—his eyes laced with utter affection.
You succumbed to the floor as Satoru pulled you closer, eager to help you recover, Suguru sat close by as he too, surrendered to creeping exhaustion.
Neither one of them could let you go, at least not yet.
“Now, wasn’t that fun, [name]?” Satoru asked as he brushed his hands along your legs, feeling tempted by a second round. “Maybe you should skip next month’s rent too?”
You didn’t reply yet again, but both your expression and flushed complexion along with your relaxed form all pointed to a definite yes—the feeling so wrong, so right, something you wouldn’t quite mind to revisit again and again.
“You should,” Suguru encouraged as he moved closer next to you, “I’d love to see more of those pretty eyes.”
As you settled into an exhausted stupor, wedged between them both, you couldn’t deny that you loved that idea.
So maybe, you shouldn’t rush in finding a job after all.
#tw dubcon#jjk x reader#satoru gojo x reader#suguru geto x reader#suguru geto#satoru gojo#jjk fanfic#jjk x y/n#smut#reader x gojo#reader x geto#reader insert#one shot#fanfic#short but sweet#alternate universe roommates#dubious consent#getou suguru x you#gojou satoru x reader#satoru x reader#satoru x you#getou suguru x reader#suguru x reader#this was my first time writing threesomes lmao#i was locked in and writing this in a fever dream#fem!reader
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@lightandfellowship re: your tags on this post (just to kind of bring this out to a different post).
I was thinking about making a separate post to expand on those tags anyway because they were a little off topic to the op, but I was like, you know, it's that Xehanort was worse to the Dandelions than Luxu was, yes. But Luxu was supposed to be that callous to the Dandelions in the first place. He was supposed to think of them as tools and to just let whatever fucked up thing was supposed to happen to them just happen. And with anyone else he can, but he can't put his personal feelings aside enough to 'do what needs to be done' for this set of people alone.
But Xehanort can.
And I think that's really interesting when looking at Xehanort as the 'replacement Luxu.' Xehanort who, as observed by another post I don't have immediately to hand, speaks with MoM twice. Xehanort who is chosen by MoM and manipulated into doing his bidding the same way Luxu was, given the same coat and made the heir to Luxu's keyblade, Xehanort who actually is allowed to take action to bring the Keyblade War about and revive the Lost Masters while Luxu is only allowed to watch.
Actually I started this post with a different thesis ('Xehanort is able to put his personal feelings aside and be ruthless even where Luxu fails to follow his role') but writing that paragraph I've changed my mind actually. Because Luxu has basically no agency in this situation, whereas Xehanort does.
Like, both of them are assigned roles by their mentors but Xehanort isn't really given a road map about how to fulfill his role. He's being manipulated, sure, but he's also making choices himself all along. They're choices that are fucked up but he understands they're fucked up and is choosing them anyway because he strongly feels it's necessary for the greater good.
Luxu has been told these things are necessary for the greater good. He's been told what to do. He's been told to just watch and that he can never take action. He doesn't even have the illusion of agency that Xehanort, who is actively choosing to lean into his feeling that destiny is inevitable, does. What is that like, to live hundreds of years never having any sense of agency? For Luxu, helping the Dandelions is fucking up. It's doing what he knows he's not supposed to, what he's been told is against the Plan, but he has no agency and this is his little way of rebelling, even if this is, to us, the 'right' thing to do. There's a question of what actually is 'right' and 'wrong' here and whether Xehanort is a 'better Luxu' than Luxu for choosing to simply follow The Plan.
Also I'm rambling here but putting things together as I go, sorry to also expand on other tags on posts I reblogged from you lol, but like. Luxu also very clearly has Lucifer stuff going on, the same way Xehanort does, down to the name. Xehanort takes on the Satan imagery over time - but it was Luxu's first. And Luxu is the one who actually tried to rebel against his Creator by deviating from his role (only to watch) and intervening with the Union leaders.
The thing about angels is they are not, in Catholic traditions (I can't speak to other denominations) is that they are not supposed to have free will. Free will is for humans; angels only follow The Plan, with no agency or say in the matter. They're messengers and avatars created only to execute the will of God. The Foretellers seem to play this role, if you will, in relation to Master of Masters. He hands them roles to execute the plan he's already designed. If we're, in this analogy, considering Master of Masters to be in the role of 'god', both Ava and Luxu are ultimately fallen angels - they both question the will of their creator, both rebel - but Luxu rebelling was built into the plan. He is Lucifer, and Lucifer rebels, and so he was still allowed to come back to the fold at the end of kh3, having fulfilled his duty even considering his rebellion. He still had no agency in the end, even having done what he thought was exercising it by saving the Union leaders.
Anyway I'm just rambling on at this point and don't really have a conclusion to this but the whole interplay between Luxu and Xehanort, agency and servitude, angels and devils, light and dark, feels really compelling to me.
#not to be getting theological on main here either but also to do that#I have more than a decade of intense religious education and even though i no longer do organized religion like#it's a topic that kh seems to have a lot of themes kh engages with#Luxu#Xehanort
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Calm Me Down
Main Masterlist Joel Miller Masterlist
The next chapter in the Marriage Dynamics series
Pairing | Husband Joel Miller x Wife F!Reader- AU, No Outbreak
Summary | You wake up having a panic attack, and Joel calms you down. This results in the two of you talking, calming each other’s fears, and finally working through your problems. You feel movement in your pregnancy for the first time while Joel silently talks to his unborn child, asking for a gift that he doesn’t know yet but will receive.
Work Count: 5.5K
Warnings | Series is 18+, Minor DNI
Age difference (implied), language, descriptions of anxiety/panic attack, flashbacks, marriage dynamics (these two finally communicate), hurt and comfort, tenderness and love, mentions of pregnancy, you feel baby movement for the first time, mild reference to past cheating (your father and Joel's ex-wife, not from Joel or you), mild references in the past to physical abuse by your father, references to berating your father did to you in the past.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long on this next part, but here you are. As a reminder, I no longer do tag lists. Make sure to turn on notifications for when I post new written pieces.
“Baby, look at me,” Joel said sternly, turning you around to face him. He immediately searched your eyes to get you to look at him. Joel reached out instinctively and placed a steady hand on your belly, slowly rubbing it and feeling the soft swell of your stomach that was holding and caring for his child. He was trying to help ground you and reassure you that you were okay and that your baby would be alright, too.
These moments come out of nowhere: the sheer panic, the sweaty palms, the narrowing vision. You don't know why, but suddenly, it feels like the whole world is crashing down around you, like you are falling fast off of a cliff, unable to save yourself from sudden death. Your heart races, and you're stuck believing the lies in your head. The lies that you know are not true.
“I'm not good enough. I can't do this. I'll never be more than what I am now: a failure. My husband doesn't love me.”
This feeling inside seizes you, holds you tight, and doesn't allow you to take a proper breath. And that's ok, you think. You don't need to breathe, not yet. But the feeling doesn't stop, and your body eventually screams for another breath. The thing is, though, you can't get any air in, so you panic once again. The cycle never ends. It keeps repeating until you're drowning in your sweat and anxiety. You're having a goddamn panic attack, one that you haven't had in many years. To say you're embarrassed doesn't even come close to describing your emotions. The word you require fails to come to you, so you settle for fear, embarrassment, and loneliness.
You've been way too stressed your entire pregnancy. You're a week shy of being 20 weeks along with your third baby and your fourth pregnancy.
Yeah, we won't talk about that pregnancy. The daughter that you lost at 22 weeks pregnant. To this day, you still don't like thinking about it.
Even though this is a different pregnancy, things seem to haven't gone how you wanted. You finally did tell Joel that you were pregnant at your doctor's appointment when you started spotting blood. You were scared of admitting pregnancy to him, especially when you two had barely talked since Halloween. You didn't know why; you just weren't getting along. It's funny how life does that sometimes, isn't it?
Even though your 20th-week ultrasound was just a few days away, you felt embarrassed that nothing seemed to go as planned this time. You hadn't told Joel you were pregnant technically until you were having bleeding problems. You weren't sexually active with your husband. There was no celebration of being pregnant, just awkward silence, mostly of which came from you. Joel attempted to speak with you, but you'd always clam up and not talk. If you were being honest, it wasn't until late at night on Christmas Eve that Joel and you started to talk and get along again.
Now, you lay awake in bed, your mind racing, running wild with panic at all the scenarios that weren't even happening. But it felt like they were happening now, and you were scared. You were drowning in panic, unable to slow your mind down, wishing for anything to stop it.
I'm not good enough. My husband doesn’t want this and doesn't want to be with me. I'm such a horrible wife for not telling him.
Your thoughts wouldn't stop. Your mind kept racing, and you felt like you were drowning. The walls were once again closing in around you, sucking you underneath the surface. You desperately needed a lifeline to grab onto, something to save you from yourself. That's when you felt your husband reach out to you and pull you tight against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, securing you to him while gently whispering, “Baby, come on now, breathe.”
Earlier in the night, Joel had decided not to sleep with his shirt on, something he hadn’t done in a long time. After his shower, he noticed the way you were looking at him. Eyes wide, lips slightly parted, you looked at him like you desperately needed something primal from him.
“What's that look for, baby?” He said, glancing over at you and raising just his eyebrow. He was taunting you, wanting you to voice all those dirty little things that he knew you were thinking. He could tell by the look on your face, the way you were breathing, and how you were slowly squeezing your thighs together that you were turned on and sexually aroused. Joel may not be able to give you penetrative sex yet, but dammit, he could eat his wife's pussy if she wanted it. And Joel secretly hoped that you wished to do that tonight.
“I-uh, I-'' you said, stuttering and stammering at the words. You couldn't voice it or say it out loud for some reason. You were never afraid of dirty talk in the bedroom. But considering it has been almost 20 weeks, nearly five months since the two of you have done anything sexual, you were a bit nervous.
“Why don't you finish getting ready for bed, baby, then come over here, and I'll get ya all nice and relaxed for bed.”
“What did you have in mind?” You asked, hoping Joel would voice it for you.
“Oh, darlin’, you know what I have in mind,” he said, slowly sticking his tongue out and moving it up and down like he does when he licks at you fast when he goes down on you.
You quickly nodded your head and then ran into the bathroom. You needed a shower and desperately needed a shave. You spent the next 20 minutes making yourself feel more sexy and presentable. But when you entered the bedroom, you noticed all your work was in vain. Joel was lying down and loudly snoring already. Immediately, your heart sank at seeing him fast asleep.
Joel intended to give you, his wife, some much-needed affection and attention. But he underestimated how tired he was. When his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light and asleep within seconds. You, however, had laid there with your eyes open, overthinking stuff once again.
You loved being pregnant, but you hated the first part of pregnancy, where the anxiety was horrible. Your doctor said because your hormones change so much in the first stages of pregnancy, anxiety is common among women. And boy, did you ever have anxiety, especially this time around with being pregnant in your late 30s.
Even though your hormones were already leveling out, you were still nervous about knowing if your baby was growing healthy inside of you. You knew that after your 20-week ultrasound appointment, you would calm down. But you just had to get there first. You were nervous about losing this pregnancy. You remember the pregnancy you had lost; that 20th-week ultrasound showed significant problems. If everything would show that you were ok, just like the two other pregnancies did with your boys, you knew you'd calm down. You kept telling yourself that everything would be ok. But that crippling anxiety kept sneaking up at you at the worst times and holding you tight, like tonight.
The longer the night continued, the more you wanted to reach out and have your husband hold you tight to help calm your fears. But he looked so peaceful lying there sleeping; you didn't want to wake him. You both were getting along again, and there was no more fighting between you. So you didn't know where this anxiousness was coming from tonight. Your body felt off, and you didn't know why. You had tried to fall asleep, struggling with your mind to get any rest. At one point, you had dozed off a little bit, but you quickly woke up in a panic, sweating profusely. You were smack dab in the middle of yet another bad panic attack. You haven't had one of these episodes of panic for many years. Usually, stress or something larger would trigger them, but nothing unusual has happened recently. So you lay there silently, trying to will all of these bad feelings that you were having away. But no matter what you did, you could still feel your heart race and your chest constrict. It felt like you couldn't fully take a deep breath. You were drowning fast in terror and panic, not knowing if you could get yourself out of it anymore. You didn't realize in your panicked state that your husband woke up. But then, all of a sudden, when your chest constricted the tightest, and you thought you were going to die from lack of oxygen, you felt Joel’s strong arms wrap around you. He gently pulled you to him, where your back met his chest. He let out a long exhale while slowly whispering, “Baby, come on, breathe.
After Joel had laid down, he had fallen asleep suddenly, too suddenly for his liking. He wanted to cuddle you and give you much-needed attention and affection. Joel could see that you were stressed with work and raising the boys, and Joel's chaotic work schedule didn't help you. He recently hired a manager to work out in the field with Tommy so he could stay back in the office more and focus on the business side of things. His contracting business was expanding, growing at a rapid rate where Joel didn’t need to be out in the field all the time working. He could take that much-needed break and focus his time and skills on the best ways of growing his company.
Joel suddenly was jolted awake by something, but he was unsure of what. When he opened his eyes, Joel saw your back as you were facing away from him. Joel thought maybe it was a bad dream that had woken him up. Slowly, he ran his hand down his face, slightly shaking it and yawning to clear his head. Upon looking over at you again, Joel saw that you were curled up into a ball, looking like you were resting peacefully. He smiled silently, admiring you and what looked like your peaceful slumber. But then he heard it, the small sob that left your chest as you struggled to breathe in air. Joel frowned, knowing all too well that you were panicking and having a bad panic attack yet again.
Baby, I thought we stopped these, he thought, not enjoying seeing his wife struggle. He knew you were drowning in your head, unable to get your head above water as gulp after gulp of quick spurts of air were leaving your lungs. You were like a lost ship out to sea, desperately looking for a way back into port. Joel knew he was your only lifeline, and it broke his heart that he needed to be this again. He loved you and always supported you, but seeing you panic like this broke his heart. Something was bothering you, and he hoped, like hell, that someone wasn’t him.
“Baby, come on, breathe.” He said, slowly reaching out to you and pulling you into his chest.
But you couldn't; your heart was hammering in your chest, and it wouldn't slow down. “I can't breathe,” you said, hyperventilating and sobbing. You didn't know what was wrong or why, but it felt like you couldn't breathe. “Something’s wrong, Joel, I can’t- I can’t breathe.” You said, rushing air in and out of your lungs fast.
“Baby, look at me,” Joel said sternly, turning you around to face him. He immediately searched your eyes to get you to look at him. Joel reached out instinctively and placed a steady hand on your belly, slowly rubbing it and feeling the soft swell of your stomach that was holding and caring for his child. He was trying to help ground you and reassure you that you were okay and that your baby would be alright, too.
As soon as your eyes met his, you started sobbing and saying, “I can't do this. I'm a failure. I'm always fucking up. No one cares about m-me or loves me.”
“No, babe. Come on now, look at me,” Joel said, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to open your eyes to look at him. “Come on, with me, yeah? Breathe.” Joel then took a slow, deep breath, and you mirrored his actions.
“That’s it, sugar, nice and slow,” he said, breathing with you. He was trying to slow your breathing down. After readjusting himself, Joel sat beside you, gently taking your hand and placing it on his chest, holding it tight against him.
“Feel how I breathe, darlin', now match it. Come on now, slow breath in.”
*Joel took a slow breath in.*
“Now, slowly breathe out.”
*Joel slowly breathed out.*
“And again,” he said, getting you to focus on slowing your breathing down. One of his hands held yours against his chest so that you could feel the pattern of his breaths. The other hand was protectively lying over your bump, gently stroking the skin, centering both you and him that everything was alright with your baby.
After several moments of slowing your breathing and getting you to breathe normally again, you finally sighed and said, “Thanks, Joel.”
Still sitting above you, Joel furrowed his brow as he looked at you. He didn’t know why you were having a panic attack tonight. It stressed him out and worried him, especially since you were pregnant. He didn’t want you to get too stressed out and put the baby you were carrying under any more stress. After a long moment of observing you, Joel finally sighed and asked, “Why d’ya think you’re a failure?” As he waited for your response, he slowly started stroking your belly once again.
“I don’t know, I- I was upset and spouted my mouth off. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Don’t give me that shit of ‘didn’t mean anything by it.’ Christ woman.” Joel said, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand while removing his other hand from your belly.
You frowned slightly at his movements, knowing that now he was agitated. You didn't want to have any more arguments with him. You two have been finally getting along for a while, and you weren't in the mood to go back to the way things were, where you hardly spoke, and if you did, it would result in an argument. To you, those days were behind you.
When Joel felt you stiffen below him, he froze. He was frustrated at the situation tonight. Something was bothering you to the point where it made you panic, and he wanted to know why. Why did you think that you were a failure? He felt his heart ache when you continued to look up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at him for fear that it'd start another argument.
Since when did Joel Miller become such an asshole that his wife didn't want to look at him? Since when did he become your father?
Joel took a deep breath and sighed, realizing how harsh his attitude had been these past few months. Yeah, you two haven't had sex since Halloween, almost five months ago. He reasoned with himself that the lack of sexual intercourse was because of the doctor's orders. But you two haven't done anything else either. Joel didn't blame you; he blamed himself for the change. Tommy even commented the other day to Joel that his brother had changed, but not in a good way. Yeah, Joel Miller was an asshole. But what bothered him the most was he's been an asshole to you, and you've never deserved it.
Sighing at this realization, he turned towards you and gently touched your chin. “Hey, look at me, will ya,” he said, cupping your cheek with his hand. When you finally decided to look at him, he smiled tenderly and whispered, “I love you. You know that, right, baby?”
He felt his eyes sting when you didn't answer and just stared at him. Joel Miller has been drastically fucking things up.
“I'm so fucking sorry, darlin’,” he said while gently placing his hand back again on your bump. “I’m sorry for makin’ this. For fucking everything up where I wasn’t there for you emotionally like I should have been.”
You just glared at him, struggling to keep your tears from falling. “Y-you didn't, shit,” you said, brushing a single tear away from your cheeks. I’m not doing this right now. I’m not going to break down again, you thought.
Joel could see you were struggling not to get emotional, and he was trying so hard to find ways to fix what he had already broken. “Baby, I was so mad at what ya told me on Halloween. That I wasn't rockin’ your sexual world anymore. I got, fuck baby, I got mad and jealous.”
“Seriously? What could you have been jealous about?” You said, snapping at him with more force than you intended. You were confused and slightly irritated at your husband. Joel was the one who shut you out after Halloween, not you. He barely spoke to you, held you; hell, he still hasn't even fucked you since that night. Sure, you pulled away, too, and you didn't tell him you were pregnant. But every time you tried to open up, he'd shut you down, yell at you, or treat you like you weren't his wife. You sat in silence, not knowing how to respond to your husband. Joel wasn't moving or answering you either, and for a minute, you thought that maybe he'd fallen asleep. But then you heard it, a sniffle, followed by a choked-off sob.
“Joel-” you said softer, looking over at him as you noticed tears streaming down his face. He placed a hand over his eyes, sobbing into it. You didn't understand what was happening or why he was giving you this emotional response.
“I'm s-sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that you d-don't want to be w-with me anymore.” Joel said, continuing to sob into his hand.
Where the hell was this all coming from? You thought. “Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I-”
“Don’t,” Joel said sternly, quickly brushing his tears away. Joel hated crying by himself, and he hated crying in front of you. After taking a moment to collect himself, he leaned down and whispered to your belly, “I'm so sorry that Daddy has fucked this up. I-I love both you and your mama so fucking much, ok?” He gently kissed your belly and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes away. When he sat up, he looked around the room, admiring the home you two had built together, with the front of him facing away from you.
Joel wouldn't look at you, even when you asked him. You were scared, scared of what was coming next. You knew this scene, knew it well from your father. It would be the moment that Joel would tell you he’s been sleeping with someone else. He’d tell you that you were too much for him and that he couldn’t help it, that it was an accident. You also waited for the words ‘you ruined my life’ to come to his lips, just like your father told you before. But the longer you waited, the longer it was apparent that those words would never come. That’s when you felt your heart begin to race again.
“I can practically hear those gears turning in your head, love. Stop overthinking things. I just wanted to say that you deserve better; you both do. And I know I'm not your favorite human right now and that you’re ashamed to carry my child-”
“Joel Miller, what are you even talking about? I'm not ashamed of-”
Joel stopped you by raising a hand, silencing you, saying, “Please, just let me finish.” He then continued when he knew you wouldn't interrupt him again. “I've, I'm- shit- I'm not good with this stuff, with words. I just- fuck.”
Joel didn't know what he was trying to say. He felt sorry for Halloween and for the miscommunication you two had. He’s been moody since then and not present in his marriage. He was also very sorry for not making you feel comfortable enough to tell him things again, like when you were first pregnant. But most of all, he was sorry for disappointing you as a man and husband.
When Joel realized the last admission in his mind, he felt tears well up again. You had opened your mouth to speak again, but Joel interrupted you by saying, “Ya know, I think my ex-wife was right all those years ago.”
“How so?” you said, tensing at the mention of her.
“She said I always fucked things up, and that's why she was- uh- why it didn't work out between us.” Joel almost said it. The thing he hadn’t told you. That his first wife was unfaithful because he wasn't present in their marriage and didn't give her enough support after Sarah was born.
“Joel,” you said while slowly grabbing his hand. “Baby, I'm not her, and for the record, you ain't fucking things up.”
Joel snorted at your comment, saying, “Darlin', we both know that ain't true. You're pregnant with my child. And you didn't even want to tell me because of it, because of me.”
“Joel, I didn't tell you because I was scared. I'm a woman in my middle thirties who told her husband life was stale in the bedroom. On that same night, he also knocked me up. I wanted to tell you immediately, but as soon as I attempted, you weren't there. You were working 16-hour days and moody because of no help at work. Yeah, I fucked up. I should have said something, but I was scared. I was scared I was trapping you in a marriage you didn't want.”
“What do you mean a marriage I didn't want? Baby, I love you and want you, always. I've never felt trapped, not ever. Why are you thinkin’ that?” Joel said, screwing his face up and not understanding why you thought he didn't want to be married.
“I don't know, just something my dad said when-”
“I ain't your old man,” Joel said, grinding his teeth and flaring his nostrils. At one time, your father, Pat, was Joel's best friend. But that abruptly ended when Pat laid his hands on his daughter and unforgivably hurt her.
“I know it's just- I was worried you didn't want this, want me. I know I'm a lot, a handful, that-” Your voice started to tremble, and your lip was quivering. You couldn't say it out loud. But Joel knew it was the last thing you heard your father say before you walked out of his life, forever.
Flashback
“Joel, I know my daughter, ok? She's a handful, a complete pain in the ass, and a liability. One that I wish like hell wasn't my damn responsibility anymore. So do yourself a favor; don't get involved. She'll just ruin your life. She’s already ruined mine.”
You had stood there and heard your father tell Joel, your new fiance, he didn't want you as a daughter anymore. That you being around was a burden to him and his life. You were standing in the kitchen as Pat, your father, talked to Joel in the living room. You weren't supposed to hear the conversation, and you knew that. But with what you heard, it had shattered you. You walked out of your father's house with tears in your eyes, never returning. It was good that you walked out before you heard your father's last comment. The one comment that yet today made Joel grind his teeth and see red anytime he thought about it.
“Joel, that girl of mine is nothin’ but a goddamn whore. A bitch, just like her mother. She'll just hurt you in the end. My advice, make sure you have a little something on the side, a nice piece of ass as I did, just as a pick me up. Trust me, you'll get sick of looking at her pathetic ass day in and day out. I did with her mother, and it felt great to go and get some much-needed attention from the girls I had on the side…”
After your father called you a whore and told Joel what took place when Joel had you hang out at his house, he felt sick and saw red with anger. Your dad's weekend trips and late-night house calls were due to him fucking around on your mom, a woman who was battling cancer and eventually lost. But the worst thing that Joel found out was that all those black eyes you were supporting in high school and college weren't because you got into a fight or that a boyfriend hit you. No, Pat was getting drunk and using his fists against his daughter's face. Joel also had a sneaky suspicion that the two cracked ribs you had in college also came from Pat. Joel couldn't believe that his best friend did that, and worse, you never said anything. Joel would have stopped it immediately if he had known. Pat was no longer in either of your lives anymore.
Present Day
“Baby, you ain't too much, so stop thinking that. C’mere.” Joel said, having you come and sit on his lap while he placed his back against the headboard.
He helped you straddle him, putting your hard baby belly against his softer belly. Your bump prevented you from getting as close as usual, but it was close enough that Joel could still wrap his arms around you and rest his forehead against yours.
“Now, darlin’, I want you to take a deep breath for me, ok?” After you took a deep breath and slowly let it out, you felt your heartbeat return to normal, along with his.
“I’m so sorry, Joel, that I didn’t tell you-”
“Don’t. Please darlin’. I-I don’t care what we’ve done before. I care about the right here and now. Please.”
You could feel how stressed Joel was. How his muscles tensed with you, referencing you were sorry again for not telling your husband at the beginning of your pregnancy that you were pregnant. If you could do it again, but differently, you would. But that’s not life. Life is about living in the moment, feeling emotions, and allowing yourself to experience it in its messy glory. It’s about making mistakes and then learning from those mistakes. But most of all, it’s about forgiveness, hope, compassion, love, and understanding. You both understood that the choices made these past few months were out of anger, frustration, and loneliness.
With your eyes closed and your understanding of the situations that have surrounded the two of you for a while, you quietly said, “I love you, old man.”
Joel let out a small snort at your teasing. ‘Old man’ was a nickname you gave him long ago when the two of you started dating, and now it was a term of endearment.
“I love you too, baby girl,” he said, slowly nuzzling his nose against yours.
When you pulled back and opened your eyes, you saw your husband looking at you lovingly. His eyes were so soft, tenderness seen behind them. He was your lifeline that tethered you to this world, keeping you anchored and not drifting. When he slowly kissed you, you felt him tell you in the kiss that you were loved and that everything would be alright. He was your rock, your protector, your soulmate. But more importantly, he was your Joel. The man who saw you for what you were inside. He saw past your faults and insecurities, of you believing you were too much. He gave you a safe place to land and be in the moment. You had a lifetime with him, helped him raise Sarah, and gave birth to two strong-willed little boys you loved dearly. And now you were pregnant again, with a baby that was half him and half you growing inside of you. This little one was very much a surprise, but the best possible surprise. It forced you both to stop your chaotic lives and slow down to remember what life was all about Love.
After several tender kisses, you started to giggle against his mouth. Joel pulled back at your giggling, confused at your antics. “Darlin’, are you laughing at me?”
You continued giggling and said, “No, Joel, I’m not,” but then you giggled again.
“Baby, please-”
“Joel, I just felt the baby move.”
Joel’s eyebrows shot up, surprised, looking at you with excitement. “R-really? Just now?”
“Yes, just now, when I was thinking how much I loved you and how much this child is teaching us that we need to communicate still, to be strong, and-”
Joel slowly moved his hands down to your stomach and rubbed it tenderly. He knew he wouldn’t feel movement for another few weeks. But seeing you feel life for the first time was the best possible gift one could experience with you. The joy on your face at the realization that a baby was growing inside you, one that he helped create.
“There it is again,” you said, smiling and giggling. You placed your hand right over Joel’s hand, right where you felt movement. It felt like a cricket, or something ran across your stomach, but from the inside. It was always the oddest feeling that you’d feel. It wasn’t a full kick yet; those would come in a few weeks. But in this movement, it always made you laugh when you’d feel it for the first time.
When you looked up at Joel, you were beaming with the biggest smile, while he had the most tender look in his eyes. Softly, he rubbed his thumb back and forth over your skin, giving you and his baby affection. “She's telling her mama that she loves her.”
“Joel, it’s too early. We don’t-” you said, choking up with emotion. Joel knew you wanted a girl so badly, especially after the two of you lost the only pregnancy before where you were pregnant with a girl. It was a sore subject for the two of you.
Before, when you were pregnant with a girl, Joel had come home early from work because you said you weren’t feeling well. He noticed you were sleeping on the couch when he entered the house. Joel quietly went upstairs and showered, but you yelled for him while he was washing his body. Joel quickly rinsed himself off and ran out to the living room, wearing nothing but a towel with water still dripping down his back. When he got to you, you were sitting up and crying. When he had asked you what was wrong, you pulled back the blanket, and Joel saw a large pool of bright red blood on the couch. You were rushed to the hospital by ambulance, but it was already too late. The girl you were pregnant with had no heartbeat detected. You stayed in the hospital for observation, delivering the tiny baby that night.
After you were asleep in the hospital, Joel had gone home. He took the sledgehammer to the couch, tears streaming down his face while hitting it. Tommy found him beating the hell out of the sofa, crying and screaming at how much he hated the world for taking the one thing that you wanted away from you: a little girl.
And now, all these years later, when you hear Joel reference a girl, you can’t help but get scared. Sure, you hoped for a girl and dreamed of it again, but you also didn't want to go through losing another baby once again.
“It’s just a hunch, darlin’, and don’t worry, mama; I’ll keep you both safe. Now come on, time for you both to go to bed.” Joel said, wrapping you in his arms to help silence your fears.
Joel laid you down and got you situated after he brought you some water to drink. He pulled you tight to him, your back against his bare chest as he traced small circles on your belly, helping you quickly fall asleep. After Joel knew you were sleeping soundly, he quietly whispered, “Little one, please stay in here no matter what, ok? I don’t know if you’re a girl or a boy, but I think you may be a girl this time. Regardless, your mama needs you to be healthy, and Daddy needs you to be healthy. You’ve heard bad words these past few months when your mama and I have been arguing. But please know, I’m beyond excited to be a dad yet again, your dad. I love you both so much, ok. Stay in there, and let your mama have a nice, easy pregnancy, ok? I love you.”
Joel stilled his hand on your bump, gently holding it snug while he drifted off to sleep. Neither of you knew that deep inside your belly, a tiny baby girl was growing nice and strong. Even though this pregnancy was difficult at times, that baby had no plans of leaving anytime soon. She would be the miracle and the one thing that helped you focus on fixing your marriage once and for all.
They say that life throws the most challenging curveballs when you least expect them and that sometimes those challenging events shape you into a better human being. That’s always been the story for you and Joel, and now, you both are about to enter the exciting part of your pregnancy—the one that will reshape your current Marriage Dynamics.
End of Chapter
#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller fic#pedro pascal#joel and reader#joel miller masterlist#the last of us#joel the last of us#joel x f!reader#joel and female#joel x female reader#marriage dynamics#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal characters#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel tlou#tlou fanfiction#tlou#tlou2#pregnant fics#pregnancy#pregnant#panic attack
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A Grumpy Troll and A Prince
Chapter 2: An Unwanted Visitor
Tags: Comedy, action, adventure, and romance
The trolls were certainly not kidding when they said it was going to be a loud and crazy party. Everywhere you went there would be a shower of lights and music. Bob was handling the vinyl record on his dj set while some glowing bugs were accompanying him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! GET AWAY FROM MY SET!" He tried shooing them until one flew into his mouth and his eyes started to glow.
"HOOOLLLYYY CRAAAAPPP THHHIIIISSSS ISSSSS AWWWWESSSSOOOMMMEEE!"
Meggy was dancing in the crowd before she noticed that Mario was missing. "Hey, where is..." She turned to find Mario singing "La la la la la la" while being hoisted up by tons of trolls that looked like they were about to collapse under the hundreds of pounds Mario weighed. Tari and Melony were helping Tag6 with throwing glitter into the audience.
Unknowingly, one ball of glitter accidentally hit poor Boopkins and the crowd went silent. Was he...dead...
Boopkins sprung back to life like nothing had happened and everyone just dismissed it, carrying on with the party. Up on stage, Four was dancing along with all the others and having a great time while someone was watching him.
Three glanced at the bubbly, happy troll. Made him sick. All this happiness and celebrating and for what? A day that just reminded him of the hardships he had faced in the past. Where he lost T-
Three snapped out of his miserable thoughts and rolled his eyes. If they wanted to die then that was just fine with him. It wasn't his problem anyway. A small, white fluffy dog came up to him with some more sticks which Three took and then patted the pup's head. Eggdog was Three's loyal pet that comforted the grumpy troll and kept him company when he felt lonely. With nothing more to do, the two made their way back to Three's evil villain lair, unknown to what happened next.
Four took it way too far and yelled "MORE GLITTER!" to which in an instant, a flash of colors and light had blinded the trolls and a massive explosion occurred.
On the other side of the forest, a figure with a torn up suit, bent antennas, and a dirty screen was reading off a map, stuck with the life of a commoner. The map had tons of x's scribbled on it, indicating all the places that this mysterious character had searched for in hopes of finding the one thing that could give his life purpose again.
He could have sworn he heard some kind of eruption as Mr Puzzles turned around, grabbed a telescope and peered through the lens. There it was again. Fireworks graced the sky with an image of the prince. A wide grin spread across Mr Puzzles's face as he knew exactly what the cause of this was. After many tireless years of searching..."Trolls."
"Alright everyone, I want to make an announcement." Four and his father were on stage as the prince wanted to do something special for him. Mario interrupted him by shouting out "Hey! That's Smg4! Mario's best friend!" A wave of shushes came from the crowd as the king cleared his throat in an insensitive manner.
"I'd like to take a second to celebrate our king, my father. 20 years ago tonight, he saved all of us from those dreaded-"
BOOM.
A series of echoing footsteps drew closer and closer as the trolls all looked up to see a man with a tv head, staring back at them. In a stroke of dumbness, Four tried to be hospitable by asking him "Uh...you like memes?" Mr Puzzles smiled and zipped open a bag to take the future feast of the Bergens back to where they belonged. "RUN!" the prince yelled as all the trolls sprinted in different directions.
This certainly wouldn't do. Mr Puzzles decided to pick trolls one by one. Luigi was shaking, terrified as he instantly got scooped up. Four rushed off the stage until he heard a familiar voice. "MARIO JR! WHERE ARE YOU!?" He saw his best friend searching for his pet when it was actually behind him, but it was too late as Mr Puzzles grabbed both of them.
"EVERYONE BLEND IN!" The trolls used their hair to make them look like leaves or grass. At this point, anything would suffice. Four almost got taken as well, but managed to duck out of the way. He then saw that Boopkins was trying to run as fast as his tiny feet would take him, soon before Bob came running and pushed him out of the way. "MOVE GREEN TURD!" A hand blocked their path and dragged them to the bag as Bob yelled out "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
He looked another way and saw that Tari and Melony were hyperventilating, scrambling around instead of running, and it wasn't long before they too were captured. "Four help!" The prince found Meggy with a frightened group of children all huddled up in the open. He and Meggy guided them over to a patch of tall grass and told them to disguise themselves.
Meggy had unfortunately forgot to hide herself in an effort to protect her friends and was snatched right in front of Four's eyes. "Meggy!" He then saw Tag6 being pulled to the bag. The prince quickly extended his hair to make a rope for Tag6 to latch onto, but it almost didn't matter.
The grip loosened with every passing second until...both of them were separated and Four watched in horror as his friends were all stuffed into the bag. Mr Puzzles looked around for anymore wandering trolls and saw the king, hitting his foot and yelling "Let them go at once!"
Four saw Mr Puzzles reaching down for his father as he quickly saved him and hid under the stage platform. Not a sound. One peep and they were dead. Mr Puzzles crouched down to look at their hiding spot. They were gone...? Four's breath quickened as that screen kept looking straight at them. After a few seconds, Mr Puzzles realized he would have to come back later to gather the rest of them. He gave up and observed the remains of the village. "Thanks for throwing the biggest, loudest..."
"Craziest party ever!" Mario finished as he stuck his head out of the bag. Mr Puzzles shoved him back in and set off. Next stop, Bergen town. After the coast was clear, Four slowly removed the hair incasement that had blended in with the scenery. He got out and looked out in despair on what just happened. His friends were captured and the village was in ruins. All the other trolls got out from their hiding places as well to approach the king and prince on the situation.
"Is it coming back?" One of the trolls asked. "What are we gonna do now?" Another inquired. The prince tried to fight back the tears in his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat. Before he could provide an answer, the king quickly instructed "We have to find another home immediately! Everyone hurry before that...thing comes back!" Four was shocked. "We have to rescue my friends." The king shook his head and said "No. We have to run. Now come on, let's go!" Just up and abandoning everything like that. This wasn't the leader that the prince knew when he was small.
"What about no troll left behind?" The king stopped in his tracks and sighed. "I'm sorry Four. That was a long time ago and I'm no longer the great leader you admired so much." The prince thought to himself for a second and retorted back "Then I'll go and save them!"
"NO FOUR! THAT'S WAY TOO DANGEROUS!" He didn't stand down. "I have to try." His father didn't believe him. "You won't be able to make it to Bergen town by yourself. That's impossible." There was no response. It was impossible to get there by yourself. You would need help. That's when an idea struck in Four's mind. He knew just the troll to ask.
Three was sitting at his desk, staring sadly at the smashed invitation. Eggdog was laying down next to him, softly whimpering and looking up at him with adorable puppy eyes. Would he have felt better if he had gone to the party? Three opened a drawer that revealed a bunch of other cards that Four had sent him in the past. Even though he declined them all, he couldn't help but save them.
He then heard a knock at the door. Quickly, he rushed to stuff the invitation in the drawer with all the others, but they all began sounding off. The knocking turned into pounding as Three kept shoving them all inside while shushing them. Once he finally got them all in, he could hear the voice of his unwanted guest and sighed in annoyance.
Outside, Four was banging on the door to Three's lair while he kept calling out his name. "Three! Three! THREE ARE YOU IN THERE!" A piece of the door mat that read: "Go away losers!" opened and angry red eyes popped out.
"I'm not going to your party! Now leave me alone!"
"The party's over! We just got attacked by someone who is working for the Bergens!"
Three's eyes narrowed. "I knew it!" The door mat flung open and Three grabbed Four to bring him inside. The prince watched as the grumpy troll began setting out multiple locks and traps all around them. Once he finished with the last mousetrap, the two fell into silence. Three kept looking up, waiting for the sounds of Bergens to come flocking by his door.
"Three I-" He placed a hand over his mouth and shushed him. Four pushed his hand away as this was kinda important here. "I have to tell you something-" Three pointed a finger in his face and aggressively hushed him again. "I was just gonna-" Three was so irritated that this idiot would not shut up when told to so he whipped his head around and furiously went "SHHHHHH!!!"
Four groaned in frustration and quietly raised his hand. "What!? What could be so important that it's worth leading the Bergens right to us!?"
"It's gone!"
"You don't know that! It could still be out there! Watching...waiting...listening..." Three made very intense eye contact when he said that last part which kind of freaked Four out. He shook off that thought. Now that the awkward silence between them was over, it was back to addressing the situation to Three. "No it left! It took Meggy, Boopkins, Bob, Melony, Tari, Mario, Luigi, AND TAG6!"
Three rolled his eyes at that name while Four stopped freaking out for a moment and took a breath. "Which is why I have come to ask...will you come with me to Bergen town to rescue everyone?" Three's eyes widened and he looked kind of ticked off. "WHAT!? NO!" Four tried to reason with him. "Three! You can't say no! They're your friends!" He stopped the prince right there. "Not so fast! They're your friends, not mine."
"I'm staying here in my evil villain lair." Four threw his eyes back in annoyance to find that he had come all this way for nothing. "Oh that's just great. You're the one guy who knows more about Bergens than anyone, but when we finally need you, you're just going to hide down here forever!"
"Forever? No." He flipped a switch that Four had somehow missed on the way in. They began to descend down on a platform to his lair. "I really only have enough supplies down here to last me 10 years, maybe 11, if I'm willing to store and drink coffee from the beans I find...which I am!"
Four looked around in amazement. He had no idea that Three had built all of this. He had never bothered to invite Four, or anyone else to his home. "You all said that I was crazy, but who's crazy now?"
"..."
"Me. Crazy prepared."
The platform had arrived at the bottom and Three stepped off to store the sticks he had gathered earlier. Four then felt something brush up against his leg. The friendly little Eggdog wanted to say hello to the unexpected guest and barked happily at him. Four smiled and patted his head, then worked up the courage to admit he was wrong.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you." Three turned with a raised eyebrow to hear what he had to say. "You told me not to throw the party, I threw it anyway, it's my fault they were taken, and now I don't know what to do!" Three crossed his arms and said "Why don't you try praying to the memes for their freedom." Four looked unamused while Three had a smug grin.
"Well...thanks anyway." He headed off as Three called out "Sure. See you in 10 years idiot." Four kept his unimpressed eyeballs on Three as he pulled the lever. Once he was gone, Three's smile slowly faded. He started walking away when he heard the platform coming back.
"Hey Three? I was wondering if I could borrow something."
"What."
"You're lair!"
"WHAT!?"
The room was swarmed instantly by the entire population of trolls, all in desperate need of a home. Three grabbed Eggdog as the two were overwhelmed by the now crowded space they were sharing. "FOUR! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Four placed his hands on his hips like a sassy teenager and said "You said you had enough supplies to last 10 years right?" Three couldn't believe this moron had turned his own words against him. "To last me 10 years! ME! It will last them 2 weeks!"
"Then I guess I better hurry!" He began walking to the exit when Three stopped him by grabbing his hand. "Wait! You won't last a day out there."
Four pointed to the collection of trolls and roasted him back by saying "And you won't last a day in here." Three looked around and saw all the trolls drinking his coffee rations, playing with his bear traps, and smashing his valuables. He looked at the prince confused on how he was played while Four walked off.
"Four!"
He turned to find his father, filled with concern. "Please be careful." He nodded and said with reassurance "I can do this." His father hugged him and let his son carry on with the journey. Four got back on the platform and said "Bye everyone! See you soon!" Three pushed through the crowd as they waved back "Good luck prince Smg4!"
Four stared at his hug time bracelet and counted down with his fingers "And 3...2...1..." A ding sounded off and that was his cue to leave as he pulled the lever. All the trolls's bracelets sounded off and Three's pupils shrunk instantly. "Hug time!" He slowly backed away as the crowd drew closer like zombies. "No..." Four watched Three become more panicked induced as the trolls came closer and closer.
"No! NO! NOOOO!"
Chapter 3: Coming Soon
#comedy#adventure#action#romance#smg4#smg3#smg34#smg4 au#smg34 fanfiction#trolls#trolls au#trolls movie#trolls bergens#smg4 trolls#trolls branch#trolls poppy
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❞𝐍𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬❝
Part six
If you haven't read the first part yet, you can find it here or the overview. ♡♡♡
✦ Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Reader
✦ Warnings: language, !S.A.! Mainly noises, no exact description of the process, mature content
✦ Spoiler: none
wordcount: 5678
tagging: @lazyninjatheorist - @sassyyassi - @cottoncandyloverrrr - @littleleelee
! ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ !
ᴍɪɴᴏʀꜱ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴀᴄᴛ
𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: yanfenguo_gao
"Travelling around like ordinary people is a really good thing…" You look over to Ace as he licks his ice cream happily.
Together you walk around the passenger ship. You were lucky to get the last two tickets and now it will be a whole day before you arrive at your destination… Dressrosa.
Even though you are happily licking your ice cream, your eyes are looking around attentively. You may not be on Dressrosa yet, but you're already at work.
"It definitely has its benefits, but I suggest you keep your eyes open Ace…" You stop at the railing and look down from the second floor to the lower deck and watch the people.
You count them and try to separate who you've already seen. Fortunately, with so few people, it's quite clear and in the back of your mind you try to spot any suspicious people.
So far, you've only been able to count 16 people who look like typical travelers. Families gathered on the lower level to watch the fish in the sea or couples strolling across the deck, gazing at the open sea. At the thought, your gaze wanders to the side, to Ace, who is still busy with his ice cream. A reluctant grin forms on your lips as you watch him.
With the ice cream in your hands, you really do look like a normal couple. You don't really know why that makes you smile, after all, that's the plan…
"Hey Ace, let me see the tickets. I'd like to see where our cabin is." He looks at you, a little dumbfounded.
"Cabin?" He reaches into his trouser pocket with one free hand and hands you the tickets.
"Yes, the trip to Dressrosa takes about a day, what did you think?" - "I don't know, I didn't think it would take that long. With the Moby Dick we'd easily be there in five hours…" he remarks while he's busy with his ice cream.
You can't help giggling and shake your head.
"The Moby Dick is a completely different story compared to a ferry." You lean back against the railing and look up at Ace.
"This is a ship for travelers." You watch him stuff the last bit of his waffle into his mouth, while you still have some of your last scoop left and he looks down at you confused.
"We're travelers on the Moby Dick too. I don't see the difference." You look dreamily at the people below you. It's true that you pirates are just travelers too. Travelers in a different way… But on your downward missions you also enjoyed the simple life. Between all the spying, you still had time to enjoy the area, after all, that's part of your facade… And who knows what you'll hear and see around the next corner…
You once sat down in the casino for fun, to strip the spoiled rich. The evening was promising. Gosh, some men are so easy to influence. First you got them to bet more with your seductive manner. Then you challenged them, questioned their wealth and flirted with them. These men have nothing more to do than brag about their money and show off.
How boring... but good for you, because you always win. Not in an honest way, of course, but you sit down at the table with the intention of cheating, so at least you're being honest with yourself. But that evening there was someone at the table who, although he had lost some money, had won something new.
Interest.
He invited you into the private area of the casino, without knowing that you were actually his employee. Crocodile had his eye on you and your cunning manner and wanted to show you that it didn't hurt him one bit, that you had won a handsome amount of money from him.
What he didn't know was that you were already working for him but in a wig, of course.
When you steal from people, you rarely do it as the person you're 'pretending' to be, so you went into your boss's casino with your natural hair. Starting as a guest and ended up in the VIP area by Crocodile's side; It can be that easy...
Crocodile has been a very generous man and even if you hardly want to admit it, you kind of enjoyed it.
He has a very charismatic demeanor and is a sharp businessman. You had a few things in common and the atmosphere was quite pleasant. Being with him made you feel different but in the back of your mind you always remembered that he was your enemy. But the feeling of leading this double life was thrilling.
Of course, as the owner of the casino, lots of interesting people wanted to talk to him. How foolish. Things are discussed in front of you, that a stranger shouldn't hear, but Crocodile was too busy having you by his side as a fancy accessory.
"Hey y/n take a look at these guys."
Ace voice pulls you out of your memory... you don't even know how you got there but it doesn't matter anymore. Your eyes wander to the men Ace is pointing at. Rolling your eyes, you take Ace's arm down.
"Don't point at them like that. If they look up, they'll notice us." You say calmly to him. You look after the men as they disappear from your field of vision and even when you lean over the railing you can no longer see them. You curse slightly to yourself.
"They're gone." Ace mumbles as he does the same and leans over the railing. At the same time, you look each other in the eye and nod.
Without another word, you both head down to the lower floor and try to track down the suspicious figures. Compared to a map of the ship and which way they were going, they must have walked to the private cabins.
The chances are slim, but you won't let any opportunity pass by. You walk along the corridor with quick but silent steps until you reach the end and find yourself in a circular lobby with several rooms. But no sign of the men.
"Hm, we seem to have lost them…" Ace put his hands on his hips and looked at one door after the other. Just before you were about to turn around, one of the doors opened and the shady gentlemen stepped out of the door with two women.
You quickly throw yourself at Ace and lead him to a door nearby so that you don't look suspicious.
You giggle at Ace in a somewhat drunken voice.
"Darliiiiiiing.. don't tell me you left the key at the bar again…" a little surprised, he caught you and looked at the men and immediately understood what was going on. He pulled you closer to him with one arm and searched for the imaginary keys in his pockets as the men walked past you.
"Sorry my love, I was just so lost in your eyes that I forgot them there…" You chuckle lovingly as you wrap your arms around his neck to give him a kiss. You had only meant to make it look like a kiss on the lips, but Ace pulled you towards him so that your kiss landed directly on his mouth.
A little startled, you wanted to push away from him but Ace stopped you by holding your face and whispering a grinning 'play along' on your lips. You realize that it would be conspicuous if you ended your kiss abruptly, but you can't shake the feeling that Ace is shamelessly taking advantage of the situation.
For a brief moment they give you a few glances but they're obviously buying the act.
When they have passed, you break away from Ace and return to a normal stance but speak in your sugary sweet voice.
"Aww honey, then let's go back to the bar and have another drink!" You look at Ace and nod in the men's direction to make it clear that you're following them now.
Together you chase after the four people. At one point, one of the women turns around and you quickly latch onto Ace, gazing up at him lovingly to avoid looking dubious.
As you expected, Ace played along wonderfully. He put his arm around your shoulder and paid attention only to you as if no one else was around you. He even went a step further and gave you a sweet Eskimo kiss with his nose. His teasing grin may be cute on the outside but you can see his real smirk behind it. He's enjoying being close to you for the sake of the show and you immediately blush…
"Look forward and don't fall behind, you stupid bitch." Somewhat roughly, one of the men grabbed the woman by the shoulder and pulled her towards him. You couldn't help but notice the look on her face. A hopeless look.
When their backs are turned to you again, you look at them with skepticism. The gentlemen are well dressed, but you can see a small tattoo on the neck of one of them… Where have you seen this tattoo before? It looks familiar…
The ladies are dolled up like slutty escorts, don't speak a word and are downright terrified. You know what that means and that is, that you need to find out more about them.
At the bar of the restaurant, you watch the small group eating from a safe distance. The women were so frightened that they hardly ate anything or looked up from their plates…
You grit your teeth and turn to Ace.
"This is going to be trickier than I thought. So far they've only talked about unimportant things…" - " Then we'll have to get in touch with the women somehow…" he observes the women with slightly narrowed eyes. It's clear to you that these people play an important role when it comes to your mission.
You rummage for something in your handbag.
"Good idea Ace... the men don't seem stupid enough to talk in public but we can work this out." The black haired man leans towards you while holding onto his drink with one hand.
"What do we do now?" You already have a rough idea, you know that no matter where the women go, they will be watched, but there is one place where they will be alone for a brief moment. The toilet.
You ask the bartender for a pen and paper and write down a few words, folding the paper several times.
"Watch and learn." You lean forward towards Ace and smile at him with a confident wink.
You take one last sip from your glass and slide off the bar stool to go to the toilets. Luckily, the suspects are sitting right on the way there and you fall in a dramatic and skilled fashion, right next to the one woman. You try to hold on to the table but you knock her glass down with you. With flushed cheeks, you look up at her and grab her by the arm to apologize profusely.
You put some money on the table for the spilled drink and take one of her hands and again you apologize sincerely to her while you press your note into her hand under the table.
The gentlemen watch attentively as you place her glass but say nothing and just look you up and down.
"I'm sorry to have disturbed your meal, have a nice day!" and embarrassed, you scurry down the corridor to the toilets.
Behind the door of the ladies room, your embarrassed expression disappears immediately and you head straight for the first toilet to carry out the second part of your plan.
You write a few words on another piece of paper, but this time you write more. You have to hurry because you don't have much time. Their plates are almost empty and when they leave the restaurant there won't be another chance.
Hastily you write the last words in a sloppy handwriting and fold the paper up again. You take one of the spy buds out of your handbag and tape it together with the note to the lid of the toilet. Then you leave the lid up so that nobody will see it…
In the meantime, Ace watches as the woman carefully read the note you gave her under the table. Without looking at it, she hides the note in her nylons.
When you came out of the bathroom and sat down next to Ace, you heard her say that she needed to use the toilet and one of the men wiped his mouth in annoyance.
"You women are annoying, I'll be glad when this job is done…"
"Get up and go ahead," he said as he stood up as well.
They both disappeared in the direction of the ladies room and, as you assumed, the guy didn't even have the shame to wait outside. He went into the restroom with her, but you know it's unlikely he'll go into the stall with her.
You turn your back to the remaining people and swirl your glass.
"What kind of performance was that? That was awesome and absolutely natural!" Ace is visibly surprised by your little act.
"That's a piece of cake." - "A piece of cake?! Even I thought you fell down for real y/n… that was incredible." With a proud grin, you clink glasses with each other.
"Now we just have to wait and see if she plays along." - "I believe she does. She hid your note in her tights, I think she definitely doesn't want to be there."
Your gaze wanders to the side but you don't answer him. Even if she wants to cooperate, you won't be able to help her. If you help her escape, it could cause trouble and endanger the actual mission.
Your goal is not to be a hero, but to play an informant. Just like for those men there, she's just a mere tool for your own benefit… You feel a little sick to yourself, you know what's waiting for these girls in the end and you don't wish it on anyone, but either you bring Doflamingo down and stop this slave trade completely, or you save two girls and get caught.
You have to make that decision. You're not proud of it but honestly it's never been hard for you because you know that the actual goal would help a lot more people.
Also, if you are exposed, then people will keep an eye on the Whitebeard pirates and that would be unfortunate for you…
You don't even notice how you're biting your lip the whole time. It's a little habit of yours, especially when you're deep in thought.
"What are you thinking about?" It doesn't go unnoticed how you chew your bottom lip. Amused, he nudges you with his elbow as you still don't react. A little startled, you look up at him and blush as you stare into his eyes. Ace sitting next to you while you're on a mission is still strange. You're used to being alone and having Ace as your partner doesn't make it any better…
"Just that you might be right." You look ahead. You keep your true thoughts to yourself for now.
"Really?" A little too happy for your taste, Ace smiles to himself as he looks into his glass.
"Tell me, what did you write on the note?" - "On the first one, that if she's in danger, she should go to the bathroom. I left her another message in the first stall…" You carefully take the second earphone out of your pocket and hold it up to Ace's face. He raises his eyebrow a little as though he can't fully understand.
"I offered her a deal." You pause for a moment, secretly knowing you won't keep this deal. It's all for the bigger picture, you keep telling yourself.
"If she makes the deal, we'll be able to eavesdrop on them later when they're in their private rooms." You play with the earphone between your fingers like it's a marble. It makes click in Ace's head and he gets the idea.
"That's perfect! Sooner or later they'll talk!" Ace is clearly looking overjoyed, as if the job is already done.
"Not quite yet… When they leave, I'll see what kind of answer she leaves me…" You nod toward the restrooms and Ace nods in agreement. Chances are good, but inside you're preparing a plan B.
After a while, as your possible accomplice came back out of the restroom with the other man, all four of them left the restaurant.
The moment of truth has arrived. Will she play along?
You wait a moment until they are out of sight and get up.
"Pay the bill… after I get back we should head to our room." Ace nods at you and calls the bartender over.
Your heart is pounding as you open the door to the stall. Will you have an easy game or will you have to come up with a new plan?
You briefly squint your eyes as you close the door behind you.
For a moment, you hesitate before looking at her answer.
If she goes along with it, she should flush your letter down the toilet and put the earphone in. If not, she should tear up your letter and throw it in the bin.
You hold your breath without realizing as you open the trash can... There is no letter in there.
Satisfied, you exhale. She is playing along.
You quickly make your way back to Ace, who is still waiting for you at the bar. He looks at you intensely as if he wants to read the answer from your face.
"And?"
"Let's go into our room and discuss everything else."
As soon as you arrive in your room, you get everything ready.
You place a Den Den Mushi on a table and plug in your one earphone. You flick a few switches on the snail so that their voices can be heard aloud but no one can hear you. You don't want her to hear what you say or find out who you are. A name alone would be already bad... If the men discover the earpiece, the risk of her talking is too high. The less she knows about you, the better.
Ace watched you connect the equipment, as if you had done it thousands of times before and sat down on the bed.
When you're done, you drop down next to him on the bed and stare at the speaker. For a while you stare at the snail as it plays the voices of the men. So far the conversations have been meaningless, but you are aware that this can take a while. They probably won't talk while the women are awake.
The silence is interrupted when Ace's stomach makes itself heard. Embarrassed, he grips the back of his neck and mumbles a quiet 'sorry'. The blush on his face makes you giggle because he's really adorable whenever he's embarrassed.
You think for a moment... It would also do you some good to eat, so you crawl to the other side of the bed, because there was a phone on the nightstand. Ace's eyes follow you discreetly as you reach across the bed. His gaze travels up your long legs to your ass.
Oh, how he would love to grab you by the hips and push your dress up so he could look at your ass. Your lovely curves shimmer slightly through your dress, but he pulls himself together and banishes his desires.
Now is not the right time and he doesn't want to mess things up with you. The day will come when you belong to him, he will make sure of that, but he knows how important this mission is to you. He knows how much you enjoy your job and, above all, how well you do it.
Your voice brings him out of his thoughts and the only thing he catches is you saying goodbye and putting the phone down.
"The food should be here in half an hour, I hope your stomach can hold out until then." You plop down next to him again and lean over to him with a broad smirk.
At first he seemed a little surprised, but this expression quickly changed on his face and his lips curled into a mischievous grin instead.
"Maybe you could distract me a little…" His voice is so seductive and low… you suddenly get quite warm and open your mouth but no words come out. Should you go along and take it to the extreme or should you break the atmosphere?
You think of Marco's words; you shouldn't deepen these feelings, they lead to nothing.
But the desire is great. Unconsciously, you lean further forward and look at him with innocent eyes.
"What would you like?" You won't grant him that he's the one in control. Let him tell you about his fantasies… Maybe you'll like it? You don't have to do it, but hearing it will be good for your self esteem.
He exhales with a small laugh and looks down.
His fingers search for a bare spot on your body and you allow him to caress your thigh.
Just as he was about to open his mouth, you hear the men through the Den Den Mushi.
"When are we meeting with the guy tomorrow?" Your eyes shoot over to the snail and both of you are completely back to work. You reach for your notebook, it could be getting interesting now.
You interlace your fingers and listen attentively to their conversation.
"He said we should come straight to the moulin rouge to deliver the goods." - "Okay, very good." A short pause follows and you write down the name. Moulin rouge… writing it down you add 'address' with a question mark. You assume it's a brothel or something similar, but Dressrosa is big…
"Tell me Johnny, why don't we test the 'goods' before we deliver them?" Your stomach is churning, you sense something bad.
A dirty laugh sounds through the speaker, followed by desperate screams from the women. With contorted faces, you listen to the panicked and tormented cries until Ace decides to turn off the snail.
"I'm sorry y/n but one more second and I'll break down their door…" Ace clenches his fists, he's about to storm off but you get up and grab his hands to calm him down.
"Yeah yeah, I know… but we'll make sure everyone gets free…" As long as they're not already sold to a rich buyer... but you won't let Ace know that.
At your gentle voice, Ace's body begins to relax and his jaw unclenches. You can understand him, it was cruel to listen to. Even though you would have liked to know more than just a name, you could no longer listen to these desperate cries. You were only a second away and then you would have turned off the Den Den Mushi yourself.
After the food was brought to you, you worked on a few notes you had made about the day. You've added questions that you hope will be answered on the mission, something that helps you keep track of things, and without you realizing it, Ace looks over your shoulder as he stuffs his face with food.
"Aren't you hungry at all?" he remarks as he looks at your barely touched plate.
You literally wake up from your work mode and find yourself in a room with Ace. He recognizes your slight confusion and looks at your plate. You look at your plate a little slowly and your stomach turns immediately, feeling starved.
"Ah yes, you're right…" You put the notes aside and start eating.
Ace joins you at the small table and you eat together while you talk about all sorts of things. Ace almost glows as he talks about his brothers and their adventures. With your chin in your hand, you listen to him attentively. You enjoy this carefree moment with Ace.
"Tell me y/n what happened before the Whitebeard pirates? Where's your family?" You lean back in your chair with a somewhat troubled look on your face. You don't like talking about the time before the Whitebeard Pirates… For you, your life started when you followed Whitebeard.
Ace doesn't miss the change and seems a little panicked as he assures you that you don't have to tell him. That's exactly why you don't want to get involved with Ace. The closer the bond, the more you confide in him.
So far, all you've experienced is separation and a feeling of vulnerability. You've shown them your weak side and that's what you want to avoid now.
"It's okay… It's just that I don't like talking about it…" You look up at him a little uncertainly.
"And you don't have to, I promise. I don't want to pressure you into anything." His eyes seem honest and you believe him without hesitation.
"You'd better tell me why Whitebeard adores you so much… I can understand why, but he really does treat you like his own daughter." You grin to yourself. You don't know exactly either.
"I really have no clue…" You yawn a little, it's already quite late.
"We should go to bed, the ship docks tomorrow morning and we have to get the other earbud before we dock, which means we have to get up early." - "Ah yes, that's right, the woman has the other earphone…"
You disappear into the bathroom with your sleeping clothes to change and get ready for bed. When you came back into the room, you saw Ace about to go to bed. In just his undershorts...
With his back leaning against the headboard, he covered himself with a blanket while his whole upper body was exposed. Putting his arms behind his head, he smiled at you mockingly.
"Are you coming to bed my love?" You roll your eyes and get under the covers.
"Stop messing around Ace. There's no one here we have to fool." You lie down with your back to Ace and try to sleep. From the side, you hear Ace's little sigh and you notice him lying down.
"I'm not messing around…" His hands reach out to pull you close to him and he buries his face in your hair.
Your body tenses but you don't feel able to fight back and let Ace embrace you.
"I'm sorry y/n but you always smell so good. Your smell drives me crazy…" His hand wanders under your shirt and he gently strokes your skin.
Even if he had planned not to get too close to you, he can't resist his desire to touch you. These feelings just keep building up as soon as you're within reach. Without much thought, he enjoys the feeling of your skin as he runs his hand over your curves.
"Your skin is so smooth like a sweet peach, it makes me addicted." His lips are right by your ear as he whispers the words in a voice filled with pleasure. His raspy voice gives you chills and without you being able to stop it, your body moves to match his gentle touch.
"Ace please, stop…" The way you're grinding your ass against him, doesn't make you look like you want him to stop.
His skillful hands move carefully from your thighs up to your breasts and he gently begins to knead them. Tender sounds escaped your lips as Ace began to tug slowly on your already hard nipple. He began to feast on your neck and placed countless kisses, causing you to arch your back.
"Are you sure you want me to stop?"
You suck in the air a little shakily. How can a kiss be so intense? But you can't give in. You have to hold your ground.
"Yes… Please… Please stop…" Your voice is almost pleading, but the excitement is hard to ignore.
"What if I don't stop?" His hand moves further down, towards your underwear.
Yeah, then what? You ask yourself but you do nothing... His finger plays with the thin band of your slip and lets the rubber snap against your sensitive skin.
Fingertips disappear lightly under your underwear and brush over your skin without going directly between your already drenched folds.
"Mhhm… y/n you make me so hard…" It was a mistake to share a cabin with him, if this continues Ace will have you in the palm of his hand. His soft moans drive you crazy. How do you get out of this situation?
"Ace, this is not a good idea…" You try to talk some sense into him while you enjoy his touch with your eyes closed.
"What's not a good idea?" - "If we sleep together…" Ace's erection against your back increases your desire, to get on top of him and let him fuck you all night. You can almost feel it, the sensation of his magnificent piece filling your greedy pussy…
You shamelessly move your butt up and down and rub his dick, to which Ace reacts with a satisfied moan. He grabs your thigh a little roughly and pushes you closer to him so that his cock presses between your butt cheeks.
His massive boner feels like it's about to pop out of his underpants and you would love to suck his life out of him. Automatically, the saliva gathers in your mouth…
After you had sex on the beach, you had all kinds of dreams about giving him the blowjob of his life and if there were no feelings involved, you wouldn't hesitate for a second.
You open your eyes and try to control your unsteady breathing. It's not fair what he's doing to you.
You turn to him and push him into the bed to sit on him. You are already familiar with this sight… His gaze seems a little hazy, as if he's drunk on you.
Ace enjoys the view; How your nipples stiffen, how your chest goes up and down because of your rapid breathing and when he looks down at you he recognizes the wet spot on your slip. He breathes out a little heavily at the sight of you… Your eyes look at him a little angrily, but he recognizes the blazing lust behind them.
He bites his lip as he watches you struggle. He's glad you feel the same way and no matter what you say against it, your body speaks the truth.
Your breathing is still a little heavy as you sit on top of him, but Ace's smirk is back on his lips.
"That brings back memories…" - "I know! And for a while I couldn't think of anything else but we shouldn't do this…"
He comes up to you and grabs you by the arms while you're still sitting on his lap.
"Why shouldn't we do this y/n??!" His voice is very serious but you can feel the desperation behind it.
"I can't trust your longing…" He rests his forehead on yours and lets his shoulders drop a little. He feels a ashamed. You've already had a similar conversation and he assured you back then, that he was waiting for you and now?
He has broken his word and touched you as he pleased. He curses himself. He probably got too greedy when you came to bed wearing just a shirt.
His fingers found their way to your skin all by themselves and at a certain point he couldn't stop himself. He knows he's not alone with these feelings, but he doesn't understand why you won't let him near you...
He doesn't want to scare you off, but when you're this close to him, he has the urge to touch you…
He puts his arms around you and buries his face in your nape. Your arms automatically go around him and you lean your head on his.
"I'm sorry y/n." he whispers to you. You can hear the sincerity in his voice and you want to tell him how much you long for him too, but you're not ready to take that step.
"If you want, we could cuddle…" You say the words a little shyly. Will it do you any good? Certainly not, but seeing Ace like this isn't something you want either.
"Really? You're okay with that?" He looks up at you happily and searches your eyes to see if you're serious. You nod at him with a gentle smile and he breaks away from you to lie down with his arms outstretched.
He taps on the empty space next to him and looks at you gleefully. You can't help but laugh and snuggle up to him.
Feeling your skin is the most important thing for Ace, even if it's just your little finger.
A/N: Haahhhh… I don't know guys... somehow I love this chapter but somehow I don't? lol. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it <3
➽ Next chapter (not available yet)
#one piece#ace x reader#portgas d ace x reader#portgas d ace#one shot ace#ace one piece#portgas ace x you#ace x you#short fic#one piece fanfiction#one piece fic
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I've been thinking abt Surge and Kit also having an unbreakable bond exept its like, literally. They cannot break it because they've been forged in it forcefully, they're welded together, they're held trapped by it, and neither of them could do outside of it. Unbreakable Bond [detrimental, negative]
#sonic idw#these were tags I had on a different lost in making#turns out waxing poetry is more difficult than I thought hsgdhd#smthin smthin sonic ans tails are formed naturaly while surge and kit were forced against their will as a result of some twink's anger#surge the tenrec#kitsunami the fennec#kit the fennec#unbreakable bond /detrimental
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to be honest i liked the zonau more when they were a barely if ever mentioned mystery and a meme in the part of the fandom that watched theory videos
i know their designs are neat but i think their sudden introduction was pretty unnecessary and robbed us of more interesting concepts than it gave us new ones
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#if they had their own game thats well and good#but them suddendly being the only thing anyone cares about in a supposedly direct sequel#like i guess some ppl were tired of the shiekah but theres always someone who doesnt like something#i just think they already had a cool mysterious ancient civilization that could have been more explored#they already had their place and werent mysterious to a point were it added anything#like the zonau being something that was just a lost part of history made botw feel more lived in#keep that mystery#and expand on the shiekah- the one that we know alot of but also theres enough to get to know about to make another game with#....sorry here i go rambling in the tags again#i will never understand why they didnt do a majora thing#make it a different dimension and do whatever you want with all those models you want to reuse#its such a failure at being a sequel it just wont stop hurting
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Jeremy Strong for Newsweek, 3/26/23
Not well and unsettled.
"Please, let him get what he wants this time."
So what does satisfy? Love?
#I'm dying inside#gonna throw up and kms before i have to see this not to be dramatic#but i can't deal with this#the complete about-face that is going to happen is hard to even wrap my head around#like he's all teamwork and connected to his siblings and then apparently destroys them#what#I can't even imagine this version of him?!?!#Jeremy said before that Kendall had crossed ethical lines but he was talking about the car accident#so this is something different I am assuming#something ruthless as that one review put it#I can't with this#I love Kendall don't make him like this 😭#Logan-esque like where Logan is at the beginning of this season#has lost everything but so powerful and blah blah#this is the longest tag essay of all time but I am very upset about this#jesse if this is actually where you leave him I hate you#gonna cry#WE WERE PROMISED HOPE- CAN'T GIVE UP YET#kendall roy#jeremy strong#succession#succession season 4#succession spoilers
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PORSCHE PACHARA I Kinnporsche Ep 5
#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#kinnporche the series#porsche pachara#apo nattawin#zzarchive#i normally tag darlings but im going to think out loud a bit so ill spare you <3 if you do happen to see and read this. im so sorry sahjksdh#do ignore really. its late and idk what im saying anyway. maybe i;ll properly talk about this someday but this is just real fast real simple#so i dont forget#okay so. anyways. this took me so long. was very hard and weirdly confronting and cianshine if you happen to see this. i got through it!!!!#also had like three breakdowns but were ignoring that#anyways. onto the episode#when i first saw this ep it was so ridiculously confronting and jarring and i didnt know what to do with it all tbh. but making this set#really forced me to properly look at him so now i have even more thoughts#and the thing with this episode is#it is obviously very different from the first couple of eps and there is this clear shift in tone that is so deliberately put there#and its like this punch in the gut. this wake up call#and throughout this episode he just appears to be so so lost#he doesnt know what to do with these feelings. doesnt know what to properly make of them and you see it in literally everything he does#he is so obviously affected by it all but refuses to let it show because what good will it do#but then he also gets punished and then its not just him being lost#there is this clear sense of anger and betrayal#whats interesting about traumatic situations-idk what to call it so were going with that-is that its usually not just the actual situation#that fucks with you. it is the aftermath of it all that plays such a pivotal part in how you come out of it#and tbh i feel like that is vey much the case for porsche#because yes he is so confused about the whole situation. but then everything afterwards just leaves him with this clear sense of betrayal#and anger. and so he acts on those feelings. feelings he knows#but it just backfires and all he is left with is more hurt#but the second time theyre on his home ground and there is such a shift in power that was so necessary for this to work. but then they get#interrupted by dumbass men who go: boo time to die so that's the end of this i guess
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ㅤi'm realizing it's been a while since i've explained why byan is, you know, even called byan in the first place. i feel like a lot of my mutuals probably have no idea, so lemme change that real quick!
ㅤbyan's actual, legal name is yeong-hwan byun — or byun yeong-hwan but, because they exist in a primarily english-speaking setting, they're in the habit of saying and writing it the western way. that is, with their given name first, followed by family name rather than the other way around, as a korean name typically would be.
they've always hated their name. in part, it's because it was given to them by the mother who didn't even want to keep them. the fact that she's never been in their life, yet they're stuck sharing her surname is something they've always despised. mostly though, they hate yeong-hwan because it's long. it's boring. they have to correct people on the pronunciation an exhausting number of times. and, of course, it's masculine. nothing about it has ever felt right to them.
by the time they were about six, they were desperate for something different. so, since no one else was giving them a nickname like they were secretly hoping would happen once they started elementary school, they took it into their own hands. taking the 'by' from byun and the 'an' from the end of yeong-hwan, they crafted the name byan for themself. it was shorter, it was cuter, it was unique and not inherently gendered — it felt so much more like them. it still does. they've been using it ever since, demanding that anyone who interacts with them on a regular basis use it over their "real" name, and they often threaten violence on anyone who doesn't. —and yet at the same time, most of the people they meet outside of school have no idea that they even have any name other than byan.
#in the setting they were originally created for no one goes by their actual name#and it's v common to make a nickname by combining your first and last name in some way#i wouldn't have probably landed on the nickname byan if not for that which is wild to think about#but then again they wouldn't exist as a character if not for ghost and the world he created s o#ALSO if anyone has ever wondered how to properly pronounce byan#i have this whole hc post in mind where i want to play around with how the nickname would be written in korean characters#where i was gonna get into that but i'll leave it in the tags on this post since it's relevant#basically the 'a' in byan is pronounced the same way as the 'a' in can#which is Not the same way the 'a' in yeong-hwan is pronounced hence my reasoning for wanting to make the aforementioned post#...i'm getting lost in a lot of little side notes down here#wait one more: they actually had a different surname for their first few years - that of the parents who adopted them after they were born#but when that couple were able to have a biological child of their own and two children was too much#and byan was subsequently put into foster care... their biological mother's surname was given back to them (:#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ HEADCANON ⋮ DANGER IN THE FABRIC OF THIS THING I MADE.
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cannot stop thinking about yungi youth mv
#like what if i throw up#it's about the trauma and the tiredness and picking yourself back up and moving on it's about friendship and home#they lost sight of each other when they were so focused on themselves and their own shit#the shot of mingi in front of the mirrors where the center one is himself and the rest are yunho with his back towards him like !!!!!!!!!!!!#their old coping mechanisms not working#mingi used to use music to shut out the world so he could be alone but now it brings him back to yunho but yunho isn't THEREEEEE#yunho picked up his lore!brother's guitar bc it had been his dream before he died and he was grieving him but here he's smashing it on the-#-wrecked car the thing that took his brother away from him#and u can SEE yunho dancing in the burning house even in the 2 different sets u see flames through the windows#and mingi is watching the cabin burn alone until yunho walks into frame and we can breathe bc he's no longer trapping himself in that house#AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TURNS TO MINGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII#IT'S LIKE. WE'RE BOTH HERE. WE MADE IT AND WE'RE STILL TOGETHER.#gonna puke. idk if anything i've said makes sense it's after midnight and my head is a jumble they just got me feeling a lot#it's about the loneliness it's about the grief it's about watching ur past in third person it's about returning to yourself in the present#mingi i love u forever and ever. his lyrics have always hit the hardest like he Gets me#god this is just such a fever era song so ofc i'm obsessed like the lyrics in that series just fuckin HIT#they talk abt how hard and lonely and scary and confusing and tiring it is growing up and i start thrashing and clawing at the walls#how wonderful to not only be alive at the same time as atz but to be the same age & have similar experiences so their music feels like a hug#like. i'm not alone huh#ANYWAY. did not come here with the intention of saying anything in the tags i was just gonna post that picture but alas#kara can talk
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sigh. love when strangers comment on my chronically underweight state and imply they’re fat by comparison. not awkward or uncomfortable at all. thanks, it was the nearly starving to death as a child! but it’s easy to maintain because I have a bunch of other chronic illnesses! I would recommend it if you’re looking to nearly get denied surgery you need because you’re too light :) don’t forget you’ll probably die younger, though!
#complaining about this here instead of my main bc people who were there follow me there were there & I don’t want them to know it got to me#but back to your regularly scheduled sexy times#ed cw#diet talk cw#food talk cw#just being careful with tags#to be clear I never had an eating disorder I had a different illness#I was like a baby I don’t remember but I can’t keep weight on now ✌️#I think I’m just stressed because they said I was losing it lately and I’m like??? trying??? idk what else to do#like my therapist said I looked like I’d lost weight which is concerning because he only sees me on Zoom so#also it just makes me dysphoric when cis people say I’m small or pretty in those kinds of contexts so#ew
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Tag drop: Guizhong (Genshin Impact), the love of my life and all of Liyue's.
#tag drop#i have been entirely lost to the aether called genshin impact. goodbye folks.#[ guizhong. ] wisdom is like water. it nourishes all those who receive it and in it; is a reflection of the truth.#[ guizhong / threads. ] after the goddess of dust was taken by the wind; the last glaze lily in guili plains withered away to dust in turn.#[ guizhong / inquiries. ] that her mechanical accomplishments were judged superior was one suspects; in large part to her sheer eloquence.#[ guizhong / visage. ] and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand.#[ guizhong / relevance. ] although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today; she was as much a hero as any other.#[ guizhong / meta. ] she was a visionary; tragically passed before her time. it gives cause for contemplation on what might have been.#[ guizhong / et cetera. ] we think of human life as a lantern that's lit one minute; extinguished the next. but are we adepti so different?#[ guizhong / humanity. ] they are so small; they know not when they will lose their lives to disaster or strife. and so they are afraid.#[ guizhong / guili plains. ] it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.#[ guizhong / liyue. ] perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become.#[ guizhong / sanctuary. ] “whether anyone tends to it these days; i do not know. -- alright then. that is where i shall go tomorrow.”#[ guizhong / mechanisms. ] in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts.#[ guizhong / cleansing bell. ] though no substitute for human composers; they were yet capable of producing simple but fine melodies.#[ guizhong / glaze lily. ] to the gentle sound of their laughter and poetry; sparkling; glaze-like blue flowers began to burst into bloom.#[ guizhong / dyn: morax. ] what a silly notion: there was no formal contract between them.#[ guizhong / dyn: guili. ] she left one riddle: they say the wisdom of dust can soften a heart of stone. even if it takes a thousand years.#[ guizhong / dyn: streetward rambler. ] as for the story between her and streetward rambler; that begins with a certain bell...#[ guizhong / dyn: cloud retainer. ] we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other.#[ guizhong / dyn: adepti. ] until the moon set and the sun rose; and only then would the banquet finally come to an end.#[ guizhong / v: pre-rule. ] a god whose dominion was over dust. and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around.#[ guizhong / v: guili assembly. ] it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains.#[ guizhong / v: archon war. ] they fought upon the guili plans; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered.
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