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#okay so. anyways. this took me so long. was very hard and weirdly confronting and cianshine if you happen to see this. i got through it!!!!
milkpansa-archive · 2 years
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PORSCHE PACHARA I Kinnporsche Ep 5
#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#kinnporche the series#porsche pachara#apo nattawin#zzarchive#i normally tag darlings but im going to think out loud a bit so ill spare you <3 if you do happen to see and read this. im so sorry sahjksdh#do ignore really. its late and idk what im saying anyway. maybe i;ll properly talk about this someday but this is just real fast real simple#so i dont forget#okay so. anyways. this took me so long. was very hard and weirdly confronting and cianshine if you happen to see this. i got through it!!!!#also had like three breakdowns but were ignoring that#anyways. onto the episode#when i first saw this ep it was so ridiculously confronting and jarring and i didnt know what to do with it all tbh. but making this set#really forced me to properly look at him so now i have even more thoughts#and the thing with this episode is#it is obviously very different from the first couple of eps and there is this clear shift in tone that is so deliberately put there#and its like this punch in the gut. this wake up call#and throughout this episode he just appears to be so so lost#he doesnt know what to do with these feelings. doesnt know what to properly make of them and you see it in literally everything he does#he is so obviously affected by it all but refuses to let it show because what good will it do#but then he also gets punished and then its not just him being lost#there is this clear sense of anger and betrayal#whats interesting about traumatic situations-idk what to call it so were going with that-is that its usually not just the actual situation#that fucks with you. it is the aftermath of it all that plays such a pivotal part in how you come out of it#and tbh i feel like that is vey much the case for porsche#because yes he is so confused about the whole situation. but then everything afterwards just leaves him with this clear sense of betrayal#and anger. and so he acts on those feelings. feelings he knows#but it just backfires and all he is left with is more hurt#but the second time theyre on his home ground and there is such a shift in power that was so necessary for this to work. but then they get#interrupted by dumbass men who go: boo time to die so that's the end of this i guess
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“Who is she?” (Alexander Calvert x Reader)
Request: I would like to ask for something where Alex and the reader are dating and the two are part of the Supernatural cast, and they fake a fight in front of Jensen, Jared and Misha, but it ends in a cute moment. That's it lol. (by anonymous), [Actors-Masterlist]
Summary: You could not find the script you needed for an important upcoming audition. Still, you had to start practicing or you would not perform well. Luckily, Alex was always there to help you with your lines. But what would happen if things got out of hand?
Words: 1,937
Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, argument, protective!Jensen, fluff, (Y/E/C) = your eye color
If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤
“Alex?” you were currently in your shared apartment in Vancouver. Searching for a very important script, you slowly started to go insane. You could have sworn you put it right on top of the coffee table. Why was it not there anymore? Maybe Alex had seen it.
“Yeah?” his scruffy voice made you look up. He came straight out of the shower, only a towel hanging low on his waist. On every other day, this sight would have been an invitation for you but you had to find this damn script.
“Have you seen my script? I put it right there.” you pointed to the place where you last saw it.
“Um, I don´t know...Are you sure you left it there?” Alex got closer to you and started helping you. First the living room, then the kitchen. Soon after, it felt like you searched through your entire apartment, without luck.
“(Y/N), it´s time to head out. We´ll be late.” he disappeared in the bedroom and came out seconds later in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants. Why bother wearing anything else when you had to change as soon as you were on set?
“Ugh, okay. I´m coming.” it did not make sense to you. You needed that script. There was a very important audition coming up. A big movie with TOM CRUISE. Yes, you heard that right. An action film where you would portray his love interest. This would be your chance to really start at Hollywood. Your role in Supernatural was the first start and the fans loved you a lot. Just like Alex, you came around for the 13th season. At first, you were only meant to stick around for a few episodes. Just some girl who was saved by Jack and brought back to the bunker. The fans seemed to like you and they almost immediately caught up on the chemistry Alex and you shared. When you started dating, the writers decided to make your character Jack´s love interest. Now, the last few episodes were about to air and you still had not found your next job.
Of course you worked on it to change that. Supernatural was your first acting job, you were not the most famous in this industry. Jared had already found his next role: Texas Ranger. Jensen will be a part of the third season of The Boys. You were incredibly happy for them but it also scared the shit out of you. If it took them this long to be cast in another project, how long would it take you? That was something you should not be thinking about during your ride to the set of Supernatural. You should start preparing for the upcoming scenes.
The first half of the day was very productive. Ever since the thought of shooting the LAST episodes has sunken in, the crew really wanted to bring the best out of every scene. Still, Jensen, Jared and Misha loved to mess with Alex and you. There had to be enough scenes for the gag reel, right?
As the director called for lunch break, all of you made your way over to the catering area. You were not hungry, thoughts still with your lost script. Maybe you should just give them a call to let them know that you needed another script. No, that would not leave a good impression.
“When do we continue filming today?” Jensen asked.
“Uhhh, around 3 pm, I think?” Jared´s answer was not really helpful. Most days he had no idea about your schedule. One of the reasons that made you love him even more.
“For once you´re right.” Misha threw in.
Everyone headed back to their trailers, wanting to prepare for the next few scenes and relax a bit.
“Can you practice with me?” you asked Alex as you were walking towards your trailers. You did not share those because they were very small to begin with.
“Practice what? We rehearsed our shared scenes, like, a hundred times last night.” he chuckled, amused by your uncertainty. He knew how you barely ever forgot your lines or broke character yet you still wanted to keep on running through your lines.
“Nooo, I mean for the audition. It´s next week and if I don´t start going through it now I´ll be even more nervous.” you came to a halt, waiting for his reaction.
“I thought you lost the script?” Alex turned around to look at you.
“Misplaced. Anyway, I know the story more or less. We could just improvise. Please?” your big (Y/E/C) looked at him in a way you knew he could never resist.
“In my trailer or-”
“Actually, I think right here, outside, would be perfectly fine.” your smile grew. You loved acting alongside Alex. This role was not meant to be his but he was always happy to help you with auditions. You did the same for him. Recalling what was written on the script, you tried your best to explain the story to him. It was easy, really, your character found emails from another woman, arranging meetings that go way back, like seven months. The scene you had to prepare for the audition was you confronting “Tom Cruise” which ended in a big fight.
“Got it?” you watched Alex´ face closely, looking for any misunderstandings. A nod from his head made you get into character.
“Hey, honey, I´m home.” your back faced Alex, your body language seemingly tense. He moved closer to you as you did not answer him. A hand was held out to touch your shoulder but as soon as it came in contact with you, you brushed it off angrily. Turning around with tears in your eyes, Alex was impressed by how fast you could make this role alive, without even saying a word. You truly were magnificent.
“DO NOT call me honey!” you managed to keep the tears at bay, thinking it would be better to let them spill a bit later.
“What´s wrong?” Alex gave you space, getting the sign of you not wanting to be touched by him.
“Oh, so you don´t have anything to tell me?” your arms crossed in front of your chest, your eyebrows raising, waiting for him to answer you.
“Um, I´m not su-”
“BULLSHIT! Bullshit.” the second part was barely above a whisper, showing that, despite everything you saw, you still cared for him. Loved him, even. Alex just stood there, knowing what your next words would be like.
“How long has this been going on?” your gaze was focused on the floor, not wanting him to see your tears that now started spilling.
“She doesn´t mean anything to me. You are the on-” but once again, Alex was cut off by your screaming.
“Did you fuck her?” your voice was small, not wanting to ask this question but desperate for the answer.
“Sweetheart, I-”
“DID YOU FUCK HER?” this time you screamed at his face. Your emotions were all over the place.
What neither Alex nor you noticed was Jensen, Jared and Misha storming out of their trailers due to hearing screams. When they saw the scene in front of them, they came to a fast stop. Did they just hear that Alex had cheated on their (Y/N)? Someone who was like a little sister to them? Jensen made himself ready to storm to you, wanting nothing more than to punch Alex. Jared and Misha, though, held him back.
“Yes.” Alex sighed. “But it´s not like she means anything to me.” he once again came closer to you. This time you did not protest. You were too exhausted to react to it.
“Who is she?” scared of what the answer would be, you took a step back but looked straight into his eyes.
“Cassie.” you read Alex´ face as regret but as soon as you heard him say the name you could have thrown up.
“CASSIE?! MY BEST FRIEND CASSIE?!” you lunged towards him and started punching his chest, too weak to do any damage, but you were angry and did not know what else to do.
That was too much for Jensen. He ripped himself free and ran towards you, Jared and Misha following close behind. A shove from the side made Alex and you separate. Suddenly you were pulled back by two strong arms. As you looked behind, you saw Jared holding you close to him. As you focused your gaze back to Alex, you were shocked to see him in Jensen´s grasp. You did not quite understand what Jensen was saying but it did not sound good at all.
“Jensen, stop!” you wiggled yourself out of Jared´s arms and ran to save Alex. You tried pulling Jensen away but he was too strong. Even Alex could not free himself.
“IT WAS JUST ACTING!” your scream erupted which made Jensen stop in his tracks. Slowly, he let go of Alex who coughed a few times.
“What?!” the confusion was written all over Jensen´s face.
“Alex and I were just practicing for my audition next week. You know, the one with Tom Cruise? I told you about that.” your heart was racing, your breathing too fast. Jared and Misha were already at Alex´ side, making sure he was not hurt.
“Shit, I´m sorry. Alex, are you okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, all good.” he waved it off as if it was nothing. Typical Alex, you thought.
Suddenly you started laughing, replaying the scene in your head. Everyone looked at you weirdly but copied your actions soon after.
“Alex, he almost killed you.” by now tears were streaming down your face because you were laughing so hard.
“Hey, I didn´t even touch him.” Jensen complained.
“Oh yeah? Tell that my throat.” Alex stated sarcastically.
“That was acting?” Jared asked to which Alex and you only nodded.
“If you don´t get the job I´ll make sure to sue them, just so you know.” this time it was Misha who spoke up. This only made all of you laugh even more.
“Everyone back on set, please!” you could hear the director yell. Jared, Misha and you walked over, chatting and laughing about everything that just happened. Alex and Jensen, though, were a bit behind.
“Sorry again, kid. I really thought y´all were fighting. It sounded so real. You sure you´re okay?” he finished his sentence with a light chuckle, still somewhat ashamed of throwing himself at Alex like that.
“I´m fine, Jensen, really.” Alex laughed lightly. “Besides, now I know what happens if I ever hurt (Y/N) in any way.”
“You better take care of her and treat her like a princess. I´m serious.” Jensen had a stern look on his face but smiled anyway. You meant a lot to him and he could not bare the thought of anyone hurting you.
“I will. I promise.”
“Y´all coming or what?” you screamed at them from the other end of the set, waiting for the two of them so you could finally continue filming.
“On our way.” Alex said back, beginning to walk towards where you were standing. As he kept walking he thought about you again. How it was so easy for you to act out such a hard scene. Your talent amazed him. He really hoped you would land that role. From what he had seen so far, you were perfect for it. God, he loved you. It still had not sunken in that you were his. What did he ever do to deserve you? He knew he could not live without you and he would keep on reminding you of his love for you every single day.
Published (09/10/2020) by Cathy
Tags: @kalasyrtiaan, @blairrrose (thanks for your support <3)
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kermitbread · 3 years
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How would 2p Tsukasa be in the donuts / little mermaid chapter?
ok ok so brace yourself, bc here's like, a very rough summary of what's been on my brain
"You made me... donuts."
Upon Hanako saying those words, Nene nodded, handing him the neatly wrapped treats. "It's exactly what you said."
A slight twinge of emotion flickered across his face whilst he took the donuts. It was quickly replaced by his usual cynic demeanor. "Tch. I didn't ask for any, though."
"Well, you did say your they were your favorite. And it's probably been ages since you had any, so Kou-kun and I made you some!" She just smiled, leaving Hanako looking a bit stunned at that.
However, he regained composure. "At least you're not being weird anymore. I don't have to deal with that now."
"Yeah..." Nene thought about the time back in Tsuchigomori's boundary. His past as Amane, his long forgotten dream of seeing the great big sea. The boy who had been a dreamer, and in front of her now was the ruthless leader of the supernaturals, nothing like his human self.
It took her a while to get used to the fact he was dead, that he was a murderer. But it was hard when she felt he was much more than just that.
"What are you being quiet there about now? Plotting something again?" Hanako's voice brought her back to reality, seeing him already sitting cross-legged on the blanket she had set on the rooftop floor, bag of donuts on his lap.
She shook her head. "No, nothing like that. It's just that..." She sat down in front of him, facing him directly.
"You're a ghost, Hanako-kun. You're already dead. And you're different from normal people and so many ways."
He looked back at her confusingly, as she continued, "I know I should have thought about it sooner or later, but now I have, in my own way. And it came to me that..."
Well, here goes nothing.
"Hanako-kun... to be honest... you're a little more trouble than you're worth."
"Huh?" Hanako gave her an annoyed glare, eye slightly twitching. "Is that all you're going to say to me?"
"I'm not done yet, you know!" Nene huffed at him, standing back up to her feet. For some reason, her heart began to race, a strange feeling in her chest as she began to say her next words.
"Although you're a jerk, and you're mean most of the time, that's not going to stop me from doing what I want to do." Her hands gripped on her uniform, her cheeks becoming red.
"No matter how much trouble you are, I... I like you, Hanako-kun! So I'm going to keep hanging out with you!"
For the first time in a while, she saw how his eyes widened with surprise, staring back at her. Weirdly enough, they reminded her of how his eyes twinkled with elation back in the 4 pm bookstacks.
It wasn't too obvious at first, but she could somehow make out a small blush on his cheeks as well. Almost as if he had...
W-wait a second!! "I-I mean— as a friend, of course! You know, right?!" She crossed her arms in front of herself, laughing nervously.
"Uh, yeah. Whatever." That rare emotion he had shown just now disappeared, coming back to his moody self in an instant.
But was it just her, or did he just slump down in disappointment after that?
"Anyways, sorry for being weird. This isn't necessarily an apology, but let's have some donuts!" Trying to sound cheery, she took the donuts and unwrapped the ribbon, not noticing how quiet Hanako had suddenly become, before he spoke once more.
"Hey, Yashiro. Are you really okay with this?" He asked, now looking very serious. Serious about what, exactly? She couldn't really tell.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I mean... I'm going to be completely honest with you, Yashiro... I..."
Before he could finish his sentence, though, he caught sight of something that had quickly backed away from the doorway, and he stood up in caution, surprising Nene from how abruptly he had moved.
"Is something the matter?"
"There's someone here." He had went in front of her, arm automatically shielding her from whatever he had seen.
Nene peered over his shoulder, seeing him intently staring at the doorway. What was there that bothered him all of a sudden?
"I know you're there. Get out and show yourself before I make you."
Shuffling noises were heard from the doorway, and white hair peeked out from the side. Then followed identical blue eyes like Hanako, and a white seal on the opposite side of the cheek.
Come to think of it, this person... looked exactly like Hanako!
Hanako seemed to recognize him, from the way he suddenly tensed on the spot as the newcomer finally revealed themselves out from their hiding spot. Nene saw that based from his timid stance, he didn't pose any threat, but what was confusing was how Hanako was acting.
"How..." Finally, Hanako spoke. The boy in front of them looked startled for a moment, but then replied immediately.
"I—I was just passing by! I swear, I didn't mean to interrupt!" He shook his head repeatedly, tears brimming in his eyes. Clearly he was intimidated by Hanako by the looks of it.
"Why are you here? Who told you can come out?" The frosty tone from her friend scared Nene a little. It couldn't be that—!!
"Are you just here to torture me again? To remind me of that day again, huh?!"
"No! I'd never want that, Amane! That's not true!" The other boy was now crying, and right now, the entire situation wasn't looking so great. She had never seen Hanako so enraged before.
From the corner of her eye, she saw him slowly bring his knife out, and she feared for the worst. H-he's not going to try to hurt him, right?!
"Liar. Don't feed me with that nonsense. You're just like all of them."
Hanako-kun, don't!
Just as Hanako was about to lunge at him with his blade, Nene acted on impulse, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. "Stop! Don't hurt him!"
"..!!" He could just look back at her with disbelief, then at the knife he was holding in his hand. One wrong move and he could have—
"I don't know what went on, but... you can't hurt him, Hanako-kun." She reasoned, almost sighing in relief when he finally loosened up and let his knife go. He seemed to have snapped out of his trance.
"Tch. Leave me alone." He shook his arm off from her, storming out from the rooftop without sparing any of them a single glance.
Nene looked back at the forgotten donuts, sighing. So much for the chance to properly talk. How was she going to face him now with things being awkward again?
"Um..." The other boy softly called out to her, almost unsure whether or not he should even speak to her. She smiled kindly to him, something that surprised him to the slightest.
"It's fine, you don't have to be scared. I won't hurt you."
"I-It's not that. I'm... I'm sorry, really." He nervously fidgeted with his fingers, unable to even make proper eye contact with her.
Whatever happened between them that made drift apart in the first place? Nene wanted to ask that, but for some reason, it didn't feel like the right time. Not right when it was like this.
Instead, she just placed the donuts into his own hands, once again giving him another smile. "It's alright. You don't have to apologize."
He blinked, looking at the donuts, then at her. "Aren't t-these yours?"
"You can have some, I don't mind." Besides, I think you'd need some cheering up from the scare you just got.
The boy flushed pink, shyly nodding at her. "Thank you." He muttered quietly, but it was loud enough for Nene to hear.
She was going to have to find a way to confront Hanako later on. There were definitely a lot of things they were going to talk about soon.
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authortango · 3 years
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A Complete Review of the Entire Twilight Series
This summer, I read all the Twilight Books for the first time in my life, so I could ultimately form my own opinions about the series and decide if I liked it for myself. And boy do I have opinions! I hope you enjoy reading my hot takes and first impressions of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series.
Twilight: Oof, okay. If I had read this when I was 10, when it originally came out, I definitely would have been a twihard. But as an adult, the book is slow-paced and actually hard to get through. The best scenes are when Bella confronts Edward about saving her from the car and then when the evil vampire, James, starts fucking things up. Meyer is a mediocre writer and Bella is a reflection of her own low self-esteem and need for validation from a man. If you took away the entire plot of “I can’t be with you because I’m a vampire”, the romance message of “I want to fuck you so bad but I can’t because I’m mormon” would still very much be intact. Vampirism is an allegory for Mormonism. Overall Bella should have been turned into a vampire in this book. ⅗ stars
New Moon: So Edward leaves Bella because he thinks he’s protecting her but doesn’t bother to ask Bella what she thinks or listen to her. Cool. So she spends the better half of the book hanging with Jacob. I kept waiting for the “love triangle” part, but… it didn’t quite appear? It’s obvious Bella likes hanging out with Jacob in a brotherly/friendly kind of way, Jacob wants it to be more but whatever. He’s still nice and pretty much respects Bella’s boundaries until he turns into a werewolf. I’m also disappointed that Edward wasn’t actually scolding Belle when she was in danger? Like it would have been an easy explanation but instead it was just Bella imagining it, which is so much harder to believe. Anyway, I would’ve been team Jacob if he didn’t turn into such a dick from werewolf hormones. The Italy scene was cool though, and made me think of rooting for a completely different team - Team Alice. ⅘  stars.
Eclipse: There is still no love triangle. There never really is a love triangle, so I’m interested to see how the movies take care of this. Because every time Bella is told to choose by Jacob, she always tells him that’s not fair because she always chooses Edward romantically, but still wants to maintain the platonic relationship she has with Jacob. I really scrutinized Edward in this book, and while he can be moody and annoying just like Bella is self-deprecating and annoying, he does become nicer to her and isn’t a huge dick to her about her wanting to see Jacob, and in fact he helps her make it happen. The amount of time Bella spends with Alice still makes me interested in a story where Meyer was not so Mormon and in fact interested in lesbians. I’ll just have to explore that on my own though. The fight was meh, we don’t get to see any of it because Bella is not a vampire still. ⅗ stars
Breaking Dawn: New Moon and Eclipse were painful to read. The only reason this one is less painful is because Bella FINALLY GETS TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE! No more incessant complaining and arguing with Edward about it! But it is dumb that the only reason we had to wait this long is so that Meyer could fulfill the weird gross Mormon-married-with-children fantasy. Reconnaissance is so weird and creepy and I’m not into it. This book is, however, still a huge disappointment because a huge fight against the Volturi is foreshadowed by Bella’s dreams the ENTIRE TIME, and it DOESN’T HAPPEN. LIKE WHAT??? I was so excited to finally get some real action scenes, but nope. Because there’s no end to the Volturi and no epic fight scene where the Cullens win, the end of the book reads like there’ll be another book in the Bella series. But there isn’t. I maybe would have been interested in a Little-House-on-the-Prairie-type spin-off of Renasmeme, if Jacob had not weirdly imprinted on her. Really hate how the imprinting on children is explained as “Oh no! This isn’t Pedophilia!”. Meyer, you are super fucked up. ⅖ stars for the ultimate disappointment in the end of a series. 
Final Thoughts: I’m interested to watch the movies solely to make fun of them. I will be seeking some Alice x Bella content. This series was difficult to read, and though entertaining, had so much untapped potential. Favorite Characters: Rosalie (much respect), Emmet (Himbo), Seth (Very Nice), and Alice (Literally the best and funniest character). Overall rating: 3 stars. I will not be reading Midnight Sun because it was hard enough reading Twilight from Bella’s POV, imagine how unbearable Edward’s is when he’s being angsty.
Taglist: @zoya-writes (comment/send ask to be added!)
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silver-wield · 4 years
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What's your thoughts on when the plate falls and Cloud went to go help Tifa?
My thoughts or my analysis? Cause you’re getting the latter anyway lol I love doing action analysis, there’s so much happening and getting the chance to slow it down is great for getting a fuller picture.
Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long.
Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.
You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.
Other analyses if anyone’s interested.
Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 
Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 
Tifa character analysis 
Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 
Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 
Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 
Cloti reunion analysis 
The Promise Analysis 
Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 
Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 
Cloti action touching 
Aerti friendship analysis 
Cloti body language chapter 3 
Cloti healthy disagreement 
Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 
Clerith playground scene 
Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.
Recap time!
This is a 6m scene I'm going over, so I'm gonna skip anything not directly relevant or I'll be here all night lol
So despite our brave heroes best efforts the plate is coming down. We get a power slide from Rude, a call from Tseng (who times it so perfectly was he watching?) and some cloti.
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First thing we see if Tifa looking distraught. She has no idea how to stop the plate from coming apart and from the way she's looking at this consol wouldn't know what to do even if she could work the computer. They were so close to winning and now defeat is about to stomp all over them and kill everyone she loves. Tifa is someone whose driven by the desire for those she loves to be safe no matter what. This is a crushing moment for her.
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Murderous Cloud is murderous (and kinda hot). I mean, we know he's got very little reservations about killing people in cold blood because he's SOLDIER!Cloud when it comes to a fight, but I do like the deadly intent we see on his face at different points in the game. He looked at Johnny a bit like this back in chapter 3 and now he's looking at Reno the same way. He means business.
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And then he doesn't because Tifa's in trouble and we all know Real!Cloud prioritises Tifa's safety above everything else. That's not me saying he's no longer SOLDIER!Cloud, but the difference between the last screen and this is that he was fully in that badass merc mode about to kill Reno because it's what badass mercs do, whereas this is Real!Cloud urging him to refocus all that skill he's got into protective ability and go save the woman he loves.
I get some people might not see the distinction between the two personas, but it's actually really easy when you break it down. If it's about Tifa then Real!Cloud is gonna push for dominant action to keep her safe. If it's any other situation then he's just gonna let SOLDIER!Cloud do what he needs to. Sometimes it's a more conscious battle between the two and sometimes they co-operate. That's how a fractured psyche works within the context of Cloud's character. Don't believe me? You see both of them on screen at the start of chapter 8 in the church. Real!Cloud is the one saying “You okay, buddy?”
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How many times can you count that we get an 1st person pov with Cloud in the whole game? Like literally looking through his eyes? Because this is 1st person pov. We are Cloud at this moment in time and he's rushing Rude, but still takes a glance at Tifa. I don't think this happens at any other point. This game is a 3rd person game. We're over everyone's shoulder. We don't get in their head to see through their eyes. This is deliberate framing. We obviously can't see his face or his reaction, but the fact we're seeing this moment as Cloud and he's chosen to look at Tifa is a big thing.
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So Rude's pushed the button and Barret's yelling. Cloud actually looks more halfhearted in this swing than I expected. It's like Barret's fury just isn't enough to get his blood boiling lol
He's about to go after him anyway, when Tifa's voice stops him dead. I can't think of a moment in the game where someone else calling for him to stop actually makes him stop.
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AH! Honestly this is such a move! Romantic hero hello! I know it's a classic move from Cloud – which is kindly weirdly implemented since we first saw it after OG, but it's been retconned as one of his signature moves with Tifa and only Tifa.
Also! EYE CONTACT! I'm gonna scream about Cloti eye contact until my own eyes cross lol they do eye contact so damn well! The only other person who got Cloud to look him in the eye was Andrea Rhodea lol Everyone else it's either confrontational eye contact or total avoidance. Cloud and Tifa have good eye contact. This highlights how much they trust each other. Even though Real!Cloud is afraid of letting Tifa know how weak he really is, he's ok with her looking him in the eye. He wants her to see the real him.
Now, I know some people go on about Tifa's chapter 3 comment of “Cloud, you're scaring me/your eyes didn't used to look so” as a negative thing. I've already explained why this is fucking bullshit, and I'd like to add that if Tifa wasn't comfortable with him in combat situations or otherwise she wouldn't make eye contact with him. Eye contact is fucking terrifying! You're able to see so much. These two aren't afraid to look in each other's eyes, even with their “I don't think he/she likes me” misunderstandings.
And just to cap it. They both smile to reassure each other they're ok.
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Ok, so Reno and Rude are making their exit. Barret tries the FF7 boomer version of turning a computer off and on again by shooting it. Then Tseng proves he's either psychic, a stalker or just dramatic af by appearing on screen at just the right point to answer Tifa's question.
And look at her face! Whoever said she's a heartless bitch can stfu forever! This is the face of a woman who is broken by what's about to happen! She's lived in that slum for five years. She probably knows every local by name, and takes time to actually get to know them too. She cares. So much. She doesn't want anyone hurt. She's pleading for their lives. Pleading with her enemy. Who literally smirked when he said “there's nothing you can do now”. Tseng has no conscience.
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Just adding this to be a butt. This is Cloud's reaction to Aerith when he sees her....what reaction? Yeah...
Then he asks where she is in his SOLDIER!Cloud way.
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So Aerith gets dragged away and explosions start happening. A siren goes off. Barret and Cloud turn away from the computer. Tifa turns and says, “No no no no no” and Cloud immediately turns back. His eyes widen and he looks a bit lost for a moment. There's nothing he can do for her and he's not got the first clue anyhow, and there's no time. It's hitting him just how much she cares. I mean, he knew, but he didn't know, you know?
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Notice the awkward hand there? Yeah, that's an “I don't know how to comfort you, what do I do?” hand gesture. Cloud's literally never seen Tifa like this. She's always trying her best to remain optimistic. She fights hard to protect what she loves. She doesn't fall to her knees defeated.
I'm actually loving all the extra insight all these analyses are giving me into just how reserved, how introverted, how determined Tifa is. She's had a hard fucking life. Born in a dust bowl, lost all her friends to the big city, saw her father murdered, almost died, her town got burnt to the ground but she still somehow managed to pick herself up and build a new life. She did that on her own. Nobody got her to Midgar. When she arrived she was lucky Marle took care of her. She could've been left alone with no support system. She got in with Avalanche and built a new family – even though they don't always see eye to eye on method, she also believes in their goal to stop Shinra and save the planet. She's principled and brave, focused af. But she's not unbeatable. Stuff gets her down. She tries her best to be cheerful, but doesn't always succeed. She keeps her problems to herself. But this? This is too big. This has broken her. She can't stay up and Cloud doesn't know how to help. Not emotionally, anyway.
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OMG HE OFFERED HIS HAND!! I didn't see that before!! (Check the spot where his name is, his hand is between Tifa’s hair and arm, palm open.) I knew he grabbed her by the arm and hauled her up when she didn't move, but he's actually holding his hand out for her before that!! She's too in her head to do anything, though, and I don't think Cloud really understands that. Any devastating feelings he had about personal tragedy he's locked away because they literally broke him. It must be distressing on some level for him to see his own emotions mirrored in Tifa. I said before the urge to comfort her starts at the beginning of chapter 13, but maybe the first spark of that is this moment here, when he can't do a thing for her, except pull her along behind him and hope he can keep her alive.
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There's some really nice still shots in this game and this is one of them. I don't really have anything to say about it. I mean, we knew Cloud had both hands on Tifa's shoulders so he could direct her where to go and she's not really with it until the moment the debris falls in front of her and shocks her out of her stupor. Cloud's focused on the job at hand, no time to worry about anything but the next obstacle. By keeping both hands on Tifa's shoulders he's ensured he doesn't have to keep checking on her to make sure she's with him. He's basically piloting her because she's not capable of decision making for the moment.
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Someone tell me, do action backhugs count? That's non-optional embracing right there. How many of you have seen this exact moment? Because I have literally been replaying the same 4s clip to get the screen for this bit and this is the first time in about 10 replays that I stopped it here. This is the between 1 second frames when the debris falls.
I mean, this is what a bodyguard actually looks like. Cloud's focus is all on keeping Tifa safe. He pulls her close to him, offers strength while she's feeling weak. He is literally using himself as a shield for her. They're such a balanced couple. When one is weak the other is strong for them, and whatever flaws they have they accept. They really are just a great couple!
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Probably the worst screen I've ever grabbed lol
I was trying to figure out the moment he took her hand but I can't quite stop on it and it's just a touch too much out of frame. Instead, I got this. EYE CONTACT. I don't need to explain it again, right? We get the whole Cloud/Tifa eye contact deal by now.
Although, at the same time, that's a fucking scary shot of Cloud lol reminds me of that meme with Rinoa and Squall where she says he's the best looking guy there and it's all pixellated lol
Ah! I remembered why I was trying to get their hands, to see if Tifa grabbed his first or he took hers. But I could see through the playback that he took her hand. He initiated contact.
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Yknow, I know people often compare the whole one half is always the summoner or mage and the other half is the warrior, but this screen right here looks a lot like another FF couple.
Tidus and Yuna.
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I mean...do I have to say more?
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Cloud looks behind to check Tifa's ok – I mean she's not but you get the point. Still getting Tidus and Yuna vibes from this moment tbf. This is the exact same type of sequence they had of them in FFX-2 when Yuna's dreaming Lenne's past and she and Tidus replace Lenne and Shuyin. They're running down a corridor and Tidus looks back at her. I mean, seeing how this type of comparison is usually only reserved for the whole mage/warrior pairing, it's strange that their body language here mirrors Square’s first fully voice acted installment. At the time the graphics were cutting edge and the cut scenes are still lauded as some of the most beautiful storytelling. Strange that Tifa and Cloud could have this comparison to Tidus and Yuna, especially with the whole Suteki da ne always being used to prop up a certain ship.
Anyway, Cloud’s checking on Tifa cause he’s totally not in love with her and wants to make sure she’s safe. You get the idea lol
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I'd like to point out that Cloud doesn't – despite popular opinion – have hold of Tifa's jubblies. His arm is under them, wrapped around her ribs, which is actually a very secure hold for him since he's trying to hang onto Barret and keep hold of Tifa too. You'll notice she's not exactly paying attention to her own safety – which makes sense since Cloud literally had to haul her up when she wouldn't move. She's not in a good headspace during the end of this scene, so he's being very protective towards her.
Conclusion
Another great piece of action! I mean, does it really matter if these two are in the trenches or just hanging out? They have a synchronicity that's impossible to deny. They balance each other in pretty much every single way there is for a couple of be two halves of a whole. The FF10 comparison is a new one on me, especially since I don't look at two titles and try to see what about each one is like the other. They're both different and unique with their own charm. But, the second I caught that screen of Cloud pulling Tifa along I was immediately hit by the thought of “That's what Tidus and Yuna do”, so I couldn't not mention it.
We get a clear look at how devastated Tifa is immediately after the realisation hits that sector 7 is about to get crushed. She's just gone. Checked out. If Cloud hadn't stepped up to save her she'd have died. She wouldn't have got herself over to Barret in time and he would've died going to get her and get them back to the zip line. This is why it's so important that Cloud picks up the slack. He was strong when she needed him to be. She's strong for him later when he becomes weak. They really are two halves of one whole. 
I love that Tifa gets her own character development. She’s not just “the love interest”. Barret is basically a supporting character here, but we know he’ll get his turn in Corel and he does get his own moments to shine in Midgar, but this is cloti, so sorry dude, next time.
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elixir448 · 4 years
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Good Girls 3x01 Thoughts and A Very Bad Attempt at Speculation
What an episode! I felt like we were moving at breakneck speed and the commercial breaks weren’t enough time for me to catch my breath. It was super fun to watch the episode live with everyone and freak out together, even though I doubt I’ll be able to pull it off next week.
Anyway, if it’s not obvious, I really loved the episode and now that I’ve had some time to digest everything that happened, I have a lot of thoughts.
Opening Montage
This show loves a good montage, particularly an opening montage. This one did not disappoint and really dove straight into the meat of the episode, which was Beth struggling with her guilt over shooting Rio (see below) and the girls trying to perfect their counterfeit cash.
I love that there was no dilly-dallying. No prolonged pretense that the girls are law-abiding citizens now. Nope, they’re trying to do everything they can to get their money-making hustle started up. All the jobs make so much sense:
Beth - she loves crafting, she uses it all the time and she’s good at it. There’s literally no place that makes more sense for her to work at!
Ruby - I recall from last season that she had a friend who worked at a nail salon and did her nails for Thanksgiving and it just makes sense that she would be good at doing nails since hers have always been on point during the last two seasons.
Annie - the shot where she was skidding into view was perfect! The job fits so well with her recklessness and I felt like it was such a good callback to her driving the Porsche in 1x01.
Beth’s Guilt
I know people have had a lot of thoughts regarding this. I agree with some of them and not so much with others. Personally, I think it was well-handled overall and I don’t think we’ve seen everything that this storyline has to offer yet. We’re only on episode 1 of a 16 episode season!
One of the main complaints I’ve seen is that Beth was pretty flippant at times with the fact that she killed Rio, saying things like “I don’t wanna bring him back” and “I think we could take him because I’m guessing he’s mostly skull.” While I agree that these remarks are flippant and disrespectful, I also think it’s really significant that this only happened in the presence of other people, like Ruby, Annie and Dean. In the first instance, with Ruby and Annie, I think she was trying to downplay the extent of how messed up she must have been feeling to have approached Rhea and Marcus in the first place; by saying that she doesn’t want Rio back, it makes it seem as though her only intent was to try to help Rhea and Marcus in some way, rather than because of the fact that she has been profoundly traumatised by what happened. Don’t even get me started on the fact that Ruby points out “It’s not going to bring him back!” This is Beth’s best friend and sister and for her to feel the need to point this out shows that she recognises that there is something extremely unhealthy about Beth’s behaviour but also that it’s about more than just guilt.
With Dean, I think it’s notable that he apologised about the fact he brought up Rio, acknowledging that it might be a trigger for Beth. That indicates that over the 4 month time skip that we’ve had, it’s potentially an issue that has come up. By living in the same household as her, he maybe picked up on the fact that she is not, in fact, okay. Trigger is a word that is very much used in the context of mental health issues and it’s significant to me that even Dean has picked up on this. Furthermore, she never even mentioned that she was going to paint the girls’ room purple to him; she clearly doesn’t value his opinion very much and we know that Beth is a fairly emotionally clammed-up character; I can’t see her revealing the slightest thing to Dean about how she feels regarding Rio’s death, beyond her crying and collapsing into Dean in 2x13 following the shock and trauma of it all.
Another thing that’s important to acknowledge is that nobody, not Dean and not even Ruby or Annie, knew what Beth and Rio were to each other. Hell, Beth didn’t even know what they were to each other. They shifted from antagonists, to two people who were orbiting around one another, back to antagonists, to two people who had sex, to business partners, to friends (and very tentatively on Beth’s part, Rio was a confidante for her), to lovers and then to ‘work’. There was probably so much more in between and a lot of overlap. Even the terminology I’ve used here doesn’t really fit their relationship! I mean, it’s hard to put the label of lovers on Beth and Rio when they had sex twice and never even had a defined sexual relationship. And they were always orbiting around one another. They still are. They never interacted once in this episode and yet Rio’s shadow hangs over almost all of Beth’s scenes. These storylines are driving the plot forwards and this episode basically pulled that rope that’s been around the two of them for so long now even tighter.
Let’s bear in mind Ruby and, in particular, Annie’s reaction to finding out that Beth and Rio had sex; basically, they were shocked, horrifed and, on Annie’s part, judgemental. They never saw Beth and Rio in the moments that we, the audience, saw them in. In 2x09, Dean believed that Beth having sex with Rio was a direct consequence of him cheating when we know it wasn’t; Beth also hit Dean right where it hurts and said that she just really liked having sex with Rio but we know that she was emasculating Dean in that moment.
By acknowledging how torn up she is over Rio’s death, Beth would have to unpack everything she felt for Rio, after she ‘murdered’ him. She was never able to do this even while he was alive; in fact, she struggled to even acknowledge what was happening and the connection between them. If she shared this with the people in her lives, none of whom understood what she and Rio were to one another...well, what would be the point? He’s gone, she feels guilty and the truth is that guilt and remorse don’t bring people back from the dead.
We get it but they don’t and they never have.
The other complaint I’ve seen is that Beth’s guilt seems to be solely tied to taking Rio away from his son. I can partially understand this but I do think that it’s not the sole reason for Beth’s guilt and it certainly wasn’t the only reason for her guilt that was depicted in this episode. The opening montage alone is a terrific example of this.
It starts with Beth in this dimly lit environment and then when she snaps out of it and realises she’s in front of a customer, we see that she’s actually in a shop and the customer is in a brightly lit portion of it, in front of the counter, while it’s much darker behind Beth. It might mean nothing but the way that scene starts really indicates to me that thinking of Rio takes Beth to a dark place.
In the opening scene, Beth reflects on Rio. The man. The fact that this was a man she knew. But did she really? He’s gone now though. And she feels weird. Suddently confronted by the abruptness of death. There’s no mention of his family in this scene at all. She thinks mainly about his death, how it’s haunting her and how she isn’t sure if she ever really knew him. It’s clear to me that she doesn’t just feel guilty because of Marcus. The scene really underlines how much time Beth has spent thinking about Rio and about him alone.
Despite this, she has four kids. The introduction of Marcus in 2x01 gave Beth an insight into Rio’s life that he had carefully orchestrated to make her realise that they were more similar than she wanted to admit and that they had similar motivations. Their children are certainly not the only things in their lives that connect them. Beth and Rio see each other and they always have. They enjoy the thrill they get from crime but they also have families to provide for. It’s justified until it isn’t. Basically, I think Marcus being a major perpetuating factor for Beth’s guilt makes complete sense and it would be strange if this was less of a factor than it was portrayed as in this episode. They were both parents and of course Marcus is representative of the pain she caused when she shot Rio.
Rhea’s Cheque and Rio’s Money
I’m going to include this discussion here just because I think it links up nicely with Beth’s guilt. Also I weirdly love that Beth and Rhea were wearing the same colour in this scene. I don’t really know what it represents but Rhea has clearly opened up to Beth over the past 4 months and Beth opened up to Rhea in this scene, sharing her financial troubles, so maybe it has something to do with that.
It was so difficult to watch these events unfold on screen. I remember thinking gosh, I really hope Beth doesn’t cash that cheque but also kind of hoping she would because of the plot potential with the consequences of such an action.
Beth is at her very lowest here. I think the last time we saw her come close to this was when Dean took the kids in 2x08 and we saw the aftermath of that in 2x09. Emotionally, financially, ethically and morally, she has hit an absolute low and she knows it. She obviously feels like a crap person and spent the entire night thinking about cashing the cheque, about Rio, about Rhea and about Marcus. Honestly, it’s heartbreaking to watch.
I think it’s really important to highlight the financial burden she’s facing at the moment. She risks losing the roof over her family’s heads. Her kids’ heads. Her babies.
It’s also important to point out that, of the three girls, Beth is the only one who is in a dire financial situation right now. Stan is raking in the money at his new job, even though both he and Ruby clearly don’t love it, and the Hills are making ends meet for Sara’s post-transplant medications. Also, as they no longer seem to be paying a lawyer to have the charges against Stan dropped, it looks like that financial burden has been removed too. Annie no longer has to pay a custody lawyer and is not at risk of losing Sadie (I have no clue what happened with the drug felony charges; I think that was dropped as a storyline between seasons 1 and 2); I do think she needs money for hormonal blockade medication but it was not mentioned in this episode. My point is that, in this episode, it’s very clear that Beth is in big trouble financially and is imminently at risk of losing their family home.
I love that the writer’s aren’t shying away from the implications of such an action and that it’s a real moral dillema, both for Beth and for us as the audience. They aren’t portraying Beth as a sanctimonious individual in this episode. She doesn’t know that Rio’s coming for her so she has nothing to fear on that front in this episode. She ruminates for an entire night. Just because she thought long and hard about it doesn’t justify her actions. Of course it doesn’t! It’s still utterly reprehensible and she’s agonising over that. But it’s necessary. And I love that the writer’s are choosing to depict such a complex, deplorable act on screen by a main character!
New and Returning Side Characters
JT - I cannot even begin to describe how happy I was to see JT in the first episode. We knew he was returning from the news during hiatus but this was even better than I expected. The actor had such brilliant chemistry with Retta in season 2 and with Christina and Mae in 2x09. The four of them just clicked and were hilarious in the two scenes they shared in this episode. I wonder if the issue with him using Ruby’s address for access to her school district will be explored further in this season or if that storyline won’t be mentioned again, especially since it seems that scam is just running in the background now!
Lucy - She is just precious! I adore her already and Charlyne Yi is amazing. I am so consistently impressed by the casting for this show and I really feel like Charlyne is going to fill the James Lesure shaped hole in my heart right now. She clearly adores Oju (sorry if I’ve spelt that incorrectly!) and I’m starting to wonder if Annie kidnaps Oju as a way of preventing Lucy from getting in their way, for example, if she demands a cut or if she decides to tell someone about the counterfeit cash or take advantage of the girls in some other way, just like they have with her. Or perhaps Rio interacts with Lucy at some point this season? Oh my god. All the possibilities are making my head spin!
Krystal - What a genuine sweetheart! Noureen DeWulf did an incredible job and I pretty much fell in love Krystal immediately. The fact that she thought to give a gift basket to the Hills? And the whole scene with the gag reflex? I adore her. I’m really crossing my fingers for a Stan and Krystal friendship arc. They are both such wholesome individuals and I hope that Ruby comes to recognise Krystal for who she seems to be so far, which is a genuinely nice gal. Also, we know that Onyx (played by Megan thee Stallion) is going to be up to no good so I’m excited to see her interact with Krystal and Stan on screen! God please give me Krystal and Stan having each other’s backs.
Rhea - Jackie Cruz is a boss. From what I’ve seen bouncing about on Tumblr, she’s supposed to be appearing in 4 episodes of what has been filmed so far. I really loved her and Beth’s friendship in this episode, even though the foundation of it is deceitful and extremely unhealthy on Beth’s part. I’m not sure if Rhea will find out what Beth has done and I can only imagine the fallout and angst should Rio ever share it with her. But I can’t help but love the two of them. I mean they were chatting about hot coaches! We rarely see Beth loosen up like that with people. Just compare it to her interacting with the PTA mums in 2x10. The difference in Beth’s demeanour is striking. I’ve seen some theories that Rhea already knows who Beth is and is playing her, which is definitely possible. My gut instinct says no but my theories for this show have been wrong so many times before. I also just want to see Rio’s face when he realises that Beth has inserted herself into this private part of his life; he’s going to be absolutely furious and I am here for that plot.
Marcus - How were the fandoms predictions and fanfic writers’ portrayal of this character so accurate? He’s an angel. And he and Jane are clearly best friends! Is this what dreams are made of? And he loves planes too. This episode. Oh my god, this episode is feeding me. Please let Rio give Marcus the planes he made in that hotel room. Please! Ahem, moving on. Manny has said several times that their is something that stops Rio from killing Beth in this season, a line that he won’t cross and that it’s addressed early on. I’ve seen some theories that it could be because Marcus adores Beth. It definitely could be! But I wonder if there is another reason why, particularly if the doors into the crime world are really blown off their hinges in this season and they have a common adversary or goal.
The Hills
I cannot emphasise how much I love Stan and Ruby. For me, they are definitely the heart of the show alongside the three girls. This episode really doubled down on that and I missed them so much.
So the Hills are managing to pay for Sara’s meds, particularly with the money from Stan’s new job. It seems that he’s having to step in to prevent people getting too forward at the strip club and is getting into some physical altercations because of it. I am so excited for his storyline this season, especially after Manny said that it is the storyline he is most excited about. I mean, I’m scared. But here for it.
Sara’s struggling with her meds and I remain shocked by how completely adorable lil’ money is.
I’ve already said it but I want a Krystal and Stan friendship. I’m so curious to see how the strip club ties into the overall plot of the season. It has to have something to do with the counterfeit cash right? And maybe Onyx becomes involved at some point?
Ruby’s scene on the phone with Gwen is so incredibly important. I always do my best to be nice to people who I’m on the phone with, even when it’s frustrating. The scene was so well done and I loved the message of how you don’t know what someone else going through. So be nice. And we know Ruby’s nice. But she’s also scared for her daughter and frustrated with Stan’s job and we all get it. Even Gwen does.
Annie and Sadie 
Oooooofffft. Could that call out have felt more like a burn? I feel like Annie kind of needed to hear this and what Mae has said in her interview, about Annie becoming more cautious and little more introspective, makes so much sense now. Of course it would be Sadie that would trigger such a shift! Although not for long apparently, given the inappropriate crush that Annie seems to develop (from 3x04 synopsis); I do still think that it’ll be on the doctor that Rob Heaps has been cast as but I kinda wish it would be some else. I am curious to see how the writers handle this moving forwards because Annie’s already done some pretty serious self-reflection in this episode and I really do think that whatever happens, she’s not just going to forget what Sadie said. I imagine it’s something she’ll struggle with this season. 
Also, fuck Noah (I posted the exact same thing while watching the episode). He sucks.
That scene with the toothbrush had me hollering. I know some people hated it but I guffawed my way through it. For me, Mae really delivered on the hilarity in this episode, alongside Lucy. Her bickering with Ruby while she was trying to make a dumb point was sooo good.
Agent Turner
I know a lot of people hated Turner and are glad that his character’s gone. But god, I’m going to miss that obsessive, sanctimonious son of a bitch. I adored him as a character and James Lesure was absolutely fantastic. Also, can I just say that he was a total snack? Especially in that suit. Killer. I’m also kind of bitter than I won’t see some of my wishes come true this season, mainly seeing more scenes between Beth and Agent Turner and them having a drink together, even if they were still antagonists. We coulda had it aaaallllllll!!!!!!
I’m really, really going to feel James Lesure’s absence and I wish him well on his next project.
I love that the writers understood the importance of giving him a final scene with Beth. These two have been playing a cat and mouse game for two seasons and I needed a farewell to their relationship. His pop-by on Beth’s place of employment was really well done and Christina and James killed it, although they always do so why am I surprised. Him saying “It’s not easy making an honest living” really takes me back to the moral hypocrisy he displayed with Stan in season 2, stating that he did what he had to, to get to the letter of the law. Don’t get me wrong, I love complex, rich, fun characters like Turner and I really like that writers chose to display this facet of his character again, with him fully believing that he has the moral high ground over Beth.
Rio
Right. As soon as I saw Turner walking with that plastic bag in his hand, I knew he was going to see Rio! The planes! The planes! If he gives a plane to Marcus in the next episode, I will die. Happily.
Also, I was struck all over again by the way Rio moves, talks and his presence in that scene in the hotel room. Manny brings so much to the character and it’s really amazing to watch.
We got some really important insight into Rio’s character in this episode, one of which is that there have been significant periods where he has been absent from Marcus’ life, which is such a great piece of character insight. We saw Beth struggle to balance crime and family in season 2. We saw Rio attempt to comfort her and share his own experience in 2x09 (”It’s lonely at the top.”) and I really loved that this episode shed some light on the fact that Rio is like Beth in this aspect. That he struggles just like her and misses his kid. Retrospectively, it adds this kind of tragic depth to the first bar scene in 2x09.
That last scene. Ohohohohoho. So much to talk about. It seems pretty clear to me that Rio has a pretty solid alibi with how much he interacted with the lady in the hotel lobby. I love that, of all things, he wants to chat loyalty points and EXCUSE ME “NEAT”. I never thought I would hear that word come out of Rio’s mouth but here we are. And I’m into it. Also, the way his voice shifts when he says business. Oh boy oh boy.
So it seems pretty clear that Rio’s spent the past 4 months playing Turner, clearing the board for himself to come in (I think this is going to have repercussions which I love because we always see the consequences of the girls’ actions but rarely of Rio’s actions). I’m also really curious to find out if Carlos Aviles’ character was in the van and if he’ll say anything about it? Maybe to Beth or if we’ll see him and Rio interacting at some point this season.
The whole thing with the billboard was a great touch and really doubled down on how devious but also cocky Rio is. I really got the same vibe from the final scene of the The Usual Suspects, where Kyser Soze uses the items around him in the room to construct an elaborate, convincing lie for law enforcement. And they fall for it. Gosh, brilliant.
Also, loved Rio’s outfit in that last scene. And looks like there’s no nose ring either. I had a feeling there wouldn’t be, even with the video that dropped on Valentine’s day just because of that shot of Rio in the season 3 trailer, without a nose ring.
So that’s it! I have no clue where else to slot this in but Beth’s hair and clothes. A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!! Like, her hair doesn’t really look like a wig anymore and those sweaters. THOSE WELL-FITTED BLOUSES. I could not stop staring. She’s a literal angel.
Also, quick warning that I’ll probably reblog and add stuff to this because I’ve definitely left some stuff off of this because I’m too tired to finish.
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wonjaekook · 4 years
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Blank Keys
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A/N: I started this one right after I finished the last one and worked on it in a couple of large chunks and a few small ones… and it still took forever. This really did not go where I initially expected it to, but I guess these tropes never do ^^
21 Tropes: 6. Bad Boy AU + ivory w/Hendery
Description: A chance encounter with the school “bad boy” sends your life spiraling in a new direction.
Word Count: 7.9k
Genre: fluff, angst
Warnings: swearing
School sucks. Life sucks. Music sucks. But, here you are, walking to the music rooms once again so you can practice and hate it for the ninth time this month. It’s not that you hate music itself - you love music. You’ve loved music for as long as you can remember, it’s your minor for God’s sake, but, right now, you can’t stand to write a single note.
Your steps slow as you hear the sound of someone playing piano drift towards you from down the hall. It’s… it’s kind of bad. Not the worst, but it’s certainly no masterful playing. But, the passion that the person beats on the keys with makes it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard. The more you hear it, the more your fingertips itch and the more you feel like your voice is being constricted in your throat. Hurriedly, you sit down outside the door of the practice room where the music is coming from, you dig around in your backpack until you find your music notebook, and you begin to write. Quietly, so the person playing in the room doesn’t hear you and stop, you hum to yourself, seeing music come to life in the air around you. As the person’s piece comes to a halt, your own hand begins to slow, finally stopping. 
Every feeling you’ve ever been able to put into words and every feeling you haven’t been able to put into words sits on the paper in front of you and you find yourself really smiling at your work for the first time in a long while. Putting away your notebook, you get up, intending to just glance into the room as you pass by as to not reveal that you were weirdly listening to them play, but the person who sits at the piano bench shocks you. There, starting a new song, a more familiar tune, is Wong Kunhang or, as most people know him, Hendery. Hendery, who is always causing trouble in class when he isn’t skipping it, Hendery who brings the beer to parties, Hendery who’s always getting into some sort of trouble, just inspired you to write a new song when you’d been in a dry spell for more than a month. You’re so shocked that you find yourself pushing open the door, approaching him on the bench.
“So, the school bad boy plays piano?” The sound of your voice over his shoulder has his fingers skittering to a halt on the ivory and black keys. The noise that results from the incident is a mix of the crashing of several notes that certainly do not belong together and his incoherent stuttering at being caught.
“I-I-!”
You don’t know where your boldness comes from - you would usually be terrified of him - but you plop down next to him on the bench. “Where did you even learn how to play piano?”
“Kun-ge is really good at it…” He refuses to meet your eyes, cheeks flushed and gaze glued to the piano.
“You’re friends with Kun? Qian Kun? Straight-A, Honor-Roll, Mister Perfect Qian Kun?”
“Family friends…” He mumbles before he looks over to glare at you. “What are you even doing here?”
“I have a music minor,” you say, eyeing the keys of the piano, “I was never good at piano though.”
“Well, get out of here, good girl. I’m busy.” He turns back to the piano, trying to play off his embarrassment at having been caught.
“I’m not a good girl!”
“Compared to me, you are.” He turns his nose at you, a completely strange action on him. You break the serious air by laughing at him and he’s taken aback. “What are you-”
“Okay, Mr. Bad Boy, play me something.”
“Why should I play anything for you?” His face is entirely unamused and you smile brightly at him.
“Play something for me and I won’t tell anyone that you sneak in here to play piano.”
“You think people would believe that shit?” He glares at you.
“Well, with this handy little tool,” you muse, pulling out your phone and waving it around, “I could make anyone believe anything.”
His glare sharpens further before he sighs and visibly deflates. “Fine.” He sets his fingers down on the keys before starting the beginning of a very, very familiar piece.
“Hey,” you say, realizing what he’s doing, “are you just playing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?”
He finishes abruptly. “Yeah, and you got your song. Now, leave me alone.”
“No,” you whine, bumping his shoulder with your own, “I want you to play me a real song.”
He puts a hand to his heart, pretending to be offended. “Are you calling the work of our great lord Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart ‘not a real song?’ How could you?”
“Come on,” you insist, “play me something longer.”
While most of him resists your desires, a part of him wants to make you happy. He had never played for anyone but Kun, not even his parents. It’s kind of nice to have a willing audience for once. Silently, he places his fingers back on the keys and begins to play.
As he plays, you watch him and you listen. After he gave you your inspiration back, you desperately want to keep feeling it again - ‘it’ being whatever it was that he made you feel with that first song you heard. You quickly realize that he’s playing Clair De Lune, slowly and a little clumsily, but better than however he had been playing before. You’re disappointed to find that you don’t feel quite the same spark, but his playing is enjoyable nonetheless. Your eyes rake over his features. He’s concentrating hard - you can tell that from his expression - and you notice for the first time that his face is surprisingly well-structured and handsome. He’s not what you would expect out of a bad boy, that’s for sure. You had never seen him up close before, only from a distance in class or on campus as he was messing around with his band of trouble-making friends. When he finishes playing, it almost feels as if no time at all had passed. You blink and feel as though you have to say something. “That was… good.”
He snorts. “You don’t have to lie to me, you know. I’m not a master pianist and I don’t plan to be. I just do it to relieve stress.”
You smile. “That in itself is enough to be good.”
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’m heading out, Y/N. I got stuff to do.”
You nod along, watching as he gets up and shoulders his bag. “Thanks for playing for me.” He gives you a look, his eyebrow raised, and shrugs.
“It’s whatever.”
It takes you a moment to process what he had said before. “Wait, how do you know my name?”
He opens the door. “Freshmen year Chem class.” The door clicks shut behind him.
That class had almost a hundred people in it. You’d only known him because he had become infamous even by that point, but he remembered your name in a crowd of quiet faces that never made any trouble. You smile, looking down at the piano. Wong Kunhang remembered your name.
You find it a lot easier to write and sing again after that. When you return at the same time, a few days later, to practice and test out some of your new songs, you’re not as surprised as you should be to see him there again. As you open the door, he also seems unsurprised to see you. At least, he’s not nearly as startled when you walk in this time.
“Should I be expecting you from now on?” He says, taking his hands off of the keys. You glance at the unlabeled sheet music in front of him.
“What are you practicing?”
He shrugs and reaches forward, flipping the page to Moonlight Sonata. “Not much.”
“Can I listen?” You ask, proceeding to sit yourself down on the end of the piano bench anyways. He sighs and puts his fingers back on the keys.
“I guess I can’t stop you.”
That time, and every time after, you join him and, to your surprise, he becomes more and more receptive to you as an audience member. The way his fingers move across the piano remind you that he’s a person, not just some trouble-maker, not just the bad boy. You also realize that you may have misjudged him. He’s no idiot - not even close. In conversation between his playing, you find out that his final grade in the chemistry class you two had together was actually higher than yours had been. There’s something deeper to crack about him, but you just can’t place it. At least, not yet. What is it about him, what had he done that time to make you feel the way you did that makes him so special?
You think that you’re making progress with figuring him out. Then, you’re walking with your friend Mark on campus one day when you see him with his group, consisting most prominently of some guys you know as Ten, Lucas, and Yangyang. If the same thing had happened last semester, you would have put your head down and walked past as to not draw attention from him, but, now, you look at him head-on. He meets you with a look that lacks the usual calm and hesitant friendliness that you see in it. Mark nudges you, trying to get you to stop staring. “Don’t draw attention!” He whisper-yells to you.
“What?” You break eye contact with Hendery to look at your friend. “I’m not doing anything.”
“They’ll start shit with anyone, so just keep walking and-” You look away from Mark again to turn back at him.
“See something you like?” You hear him say, meeting you with a smirk. You frown at his tone. He would usually never talk to you like that.
“Not particularly,” you say, trying to see if he’ll play along with you like he usually does when he’s in the practice room with you.
“Is there a problem, then?” Hendery raises an eyebrow, keeping the same confrontational tone, and your heart sinks. So, that’s how it’s going to be.
“Yeah, there’s a bunch of idiots being loud and annoying in the middle of campus.”
You regret saying it almost immediately. Mark groans quietly next to you.
“Huh, shy puppy finally has something to say, does she? Don’t think I’ve ever seen you open your mouth before.” Hendery lies through his teeth and he does it easily, dismissing every single thing you’ve said to each other over the last few weeks.
You roll your eyes. “Maybe next time you’ll open your ears and listen.”
The boys around Hendery snicker and you can tell you’re gaining the attention of some of the other students wandering around campus. Mark grabs at your arm, trying to get you moving. “Y/N, let’s just go.” You start to let him move you, but Ten speaks up this time.
“Hey, you think you can start shit and just-”
Hendery stops him, lowering his voice, but you can still hear it. “I’ll deal with her later.”
“Oh my god, you’re dead. You’re so dead.” You let Mark tug you along, absentmindedly hearing him ramble and lecture you as you continue on to the music rooms. You can practically feel Hendery’s eyes on you until you leave his field of vision. In the practice room, you try to do some homework while Mark plays guitar, but your mind keeps wandering back to Hendery. Even with his personality swap, you can’t make yourself hate him. You’re more confused than anything. You’ve never felt so conflicted before, not even after you found him playing piano for the first time. Why is he a completely different person when you’re alone?
Mark eventually leaves, heading to meet someone else for a group project, and you find that your thoughts are even louder when you’re alone and without the relaxing strumming of your friend playing guitar. You shove your chair away from the side table that you had been working at and make your way to the piano. With a huff, you sit down in front of it, realizing that the instrument itself now just reminds you of Hendery. Opening the lid, you set your fingers down.
You had only ever played piano for a class in your first semester of college. You had been atrocious - you had basically only passed with a decent grade because your teacher saw how hard you were trying. With your vocal focus, you always found it more natural to find notes within yourself, unlike piano, where you have to know where notes are and make sure you press down on the right keys. You think that, maybe, this time, you’ll be able to sound at least semi-okay. You try your hand at playing Hot Cross Buns, surprised that you remember the notes. Trying something a little harder, you go for Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star and you hit a wrong note not even two measures in. On that first night, when you had demanded Hendery play a song for you, you hate to admit it, but his rendition of the classic was miles beyond yours. Without realizing, you begin to hum along, using your voice to find the notes on the keys. With many wrong presses and lots of backtracking, you finally play the whole song and you sit back, pleased with yourself.
From behind you, someone starts clapping and you whip around to see Hendery himself. You sigh and shake your head. You hadn’t noticed when he had entered. “Why are you here?” You ask. “This isn’t your normal day.”
“I said I would deal with you later. It’s not like you’re that hard to find,” he says, walking over to the bench and standing next to you. “That was pretty bad.”
“You play it, then,” you say, some of your previous irritation leaking into your voice, but you shift over to make room for him anyways. He sits down next to you, sets his fingers on the keys, and begins to play. The song sounds similar to yours at first, in the same key, with the same notes, but, then, it takes a turn. It changes into a different song, but it’s still Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and you find yourself entranced, watching him play. In those moments, you forget the separate person he had become earlier and just pay attention to the music flowing in the room. Before you know it, the song is back to what the original is and he’s done, looking at you expectantly.
“Have you ever tried writing? I think you’d be good at it.” It’s the first thing you can think to say. You don’t know if he had actually written the strange rendition that you had just heard, but he certainly played it like he owns it.
“No.” As expected, he refuses immediately.
“Well, just consider it! You’ve done it before. I’ve heard you. Plus, you owe me for today.”
“When the hell did you hear me play something original? And, no, I don’t, you’re the one who started shit.” You can tell from the slight red making its way onto his face that you’re right, what you had heard that day was something he made himself.
“Says you, the King of Starting Shit. But, that first day, I came over here because I heard you playing.” His brows furrow at the comment, so you continue. “It was really nice, by the way.”
He rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to lie to me. I know it didn’t sound good.”
“But, it did!” He gives you a look, so you insist further. “It really did.”
He scans your face, looking for a sign that you’re lying to him somehow, and sighs when he finds none. You really had thought it was good. The technique hadn’t been exactly right, but whatever he made up that day had brought your inspiration back so, to you, it was the most precious piece you’d heard in a long time. Finally, he speaks again, his voice quiet. “I’ll give it a try if you show me how.”
You brighten up instantly. “Really?”
“Yeah,” he says, “and if you sing for me.”
“Wait, that’s not part of the-”
“I heard you singing when you were playing earlier, so I assume that’s what your focus is for your minor. Tell me I’m wrong.” Just like how you could tell from his embarrassment earlier that you were right, he can tell from you silence and bashfulness that he’s right. It surprises you that he would ask you to sing - that might be the closest to a compliment that you’ll get from him.
“Fine,” you say bitterly, “but only because you owe me.”
He stands up suddenly, surprisingly you. “Are you free right now?”
“Yeah, I guess, I only really have homework to do, so-”
“Come with me.” You’re more than surprised at his invitation, but you get up and grab your stuff, following him nonetheless. He leads you out of the room, out of the building, off campus, and he keeps walking. It’s getting dark outside now, but he keeps going, glancing back every so often and keeping idle conversation, like he’s making sure that you’re still following him. Finally, he stops, opening the door to a restaurant that you had never been to before. It’s pretty dimly lit and there are one or two customers inside.
“Where are we?” You whisper, not wanting to disturb the air.
“The owners are family friends,” he says, walking towards the back. He calls out something in Cantonese and an older lady pops her out from behind the curtain separating the kitchen and the dining area. When she sees him, she smiles, displaying the laugh lines around her mouth, and greets him. Her eyes shift over to you quickly after and you hurriedly bow to her, trying to be respectful. She seems surprised, saying something to him in Cantonese. He shakes his head, laughing slightly, and says something else to her that you don’t understand. Nodding, she looks back at you and smiles again.
“Hello,” she says in slightly accented Korean, “I’m Mrs. Chan. It’s nice to see Kunhang-ah bring a friend by. If you need anything, I’ll be back here.”
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Y/N. Thank you for having me.” You bow to her again and she smiles once more before disappearing back into what you assume is the kitchen. You look to Hendery, smirking at him. “Kunhang-ah?”
He flushes ever so slightly. “You know Hendery isn’t my real name. And the ‘ah’ is just a Canto thing.” He turns back towards the main restaurant. “Come on.”
You follow him and see, nestled in a small, hidden corner of the restaurant, is a piano. It’s old and painted a chipping yellow, but seems to be in relatively good shape otherwise. The bench is small, but he sits down, leaving just enough room for you to squeeze next to him. “I used to come here all the time as a kid,” he says, running his fingers lightly over the worn-down keys. “While the adults talked, I would just sit here and mess around. It sounded awful, but it was fun. Kun heard me one day and offered to teach me.” He takes his hand away and gestures towards the keys. Tentatively, like you’re afraid to disturb some of his childhood memories, you lift your hand and press down on what you hope is a C. The sound is deep and resonant, the timbre speaking of old wood and comfort. You can’t help but think that you’re sharing a part of Hendery right now, but the part of him that’s more like Kunhang and less like the guy you had a back-and-forth with on campus today.
“It sounds beautiful,” you say quietly, slowly taking your hand back. You can feel him staring at you, but when you look back, he’s looking at the piano again. You feel like you can barely breathe. Suddenly, you hear a call of his name from Mrs. Chan and you both turn to look. She emerges from around the corner and smiles after seeing the two of you at the bench together. She has a plate in her hands with what you recognize as egg tarts.
“These are for you two. No charge, of course.” Instinctually, you bow again and thank her, accepting one of the tarts. Hendery takes one as well, thanking her in Cantonese. With one last smile, she disappears again.
“This smells really good,” you say, observing the treat in your hand.
“She makes them herself. They’re her specialty. Before I started messing around on the piano, the only reason I didn’t throw a fit coming here was for these.” The smile he has on his face as he looks at his is sweet and innocent, almost enough to rival the egg tart you’re holding. The desserts in both of your hands disappear pretty quickly and you find yourself smiling widely after you finish it. It’s not very often that you get real Chinese cuisine.
“I’ll have to thank her again before we leave. That was delicious.” Somewhere at the back of your mind, you recognize that this is the first time that you had eaten with Hendery, but you don’t let the implications sink in too much. The two of you brush the crumbs off of your hands and look at the piano again. “When you write something, do you know where to start?” He shakes his head, so you continue. “Think of something important to you. A memory, a feeling, anything. Something that’s strong enough that you’re inspired by it.” You watch as he thinks, his eyebrows scrunching.
“I… think I know something.” You’ve never heard him so timid.
“Okay,” you say, watching his expression shift again, “I guess for an instrumentalist, you’ll choose a key. And, then, you just kind of… go.”
“You just go?” He says, quirking an eyebrow at you. “I thought you were supposed to be helping me.”
“Music is supposed to come from here,” you say, poking at his chest, right above where his heart should be. “So, just play from there. Take that emotion or memory or whatever and turn it into music.”
When he had previously started to lift his hands to the keys, he stops, setting them down. “Sing for me first.” “What? Here?” Though you’re normally not that shy about your singing and the restaurant is practically empty, you can’t help but be hesitant. He nods, no duh, and waits for you. You sigh, trying to think of something that you know and that he might enjoy. You might as well go basic - You Are My Sunshine. Slowly, the words and notes begin to flow from your lips, filling this corner of the restaurant. He watches you, as you have figured out that he does a lot, and, when the song is over, he turns back to the piano. Without saying anything, he begins to play.
That night, in that dim restaurant in the corner that hardly anybody sees, he plays a new song for you. You sit next to him, your side pressed to his, and you listen. There is no blank space between you anymore, but all you want is to move closer so that you could somehow hear and feel his song even better. You can almost feel his heartbeat in the song and, as he plays, yours begins to sync with it. When his fingers finally stop moving, he doesn’t look at you. His face is warm in a way he hadn’t really felt before and, though he spends so much time just staring at you these days, he feels like he’ll change everything if he looks at you. When he finally looks over, you’re already gazing at him. Without thinking, but having put too much thought into it for so long, he leans down and presses his lips to yours.
His lips are warm with the feelings he had just shared with you and sweet with the egg tart that he had eaten so many times before. This time, somehow, it tasted even sweeter than usual, and now he thinks he knows why.
The two of you leave quietly, thanking Mrs. Chan again. She simply observes the glow that the two you have about yourselves and smiles when she sees you tug on his hand as you’re walking out.
As you walk, you don’t say much, just hold his hand in yours. As the pair of you get closer to campus, he speaks softly, not wanting to disturb the air between you. “Do you want to come back to my apartment with me?” You’re about to accept - though you’re not really talking right now, you don’t quite want to leave him just yet - but then you think of the implications and flush. He sees your reaction and his eyes widen. “No, no, no, not like that!” He pauses and then smirks, squeezing your hand. “Unless you want to.”
With your free hand, you jokingly hit him and he laughs, showing you a full-toothed smile. You can’t help but smile back. “I’ll come, but just so I can do some work.”
“Mhm,” he hums and you smack him lightly again. “Work. That’s what you want.”
With a bit more playful bickering, you walk with him to his apartment, finding that he lives on the second floor of a building right next to campus. As you kick off your shoes, you note that his apartment is surprisingly clean. Peering farther in, you see two closed doors in the hallway. “Do you have a roommate?”
“Yeah, it’s Ten.” Instantly, unpleasant memories of your experience with Ten from earlier come to mind and you grimace, which Hendery notices. “He isn’t here right now, but he’s not that bad. He’s actually pretty smart, he can just be kind of a dick sometimes.”
“Sometimes? All I’ve seen from him is dick dehavior.”
He just shrugs and walks to his room with you following him and, when you get there, you set down your stuff and begin to pull out your work, setting up shop at his desk at his prompting. You don’t know what time it is when you drift off and you only half wake up when you feel him pick you up and move you to his bed. You fall back asleep, nestled in his blankets and pillows. You wake up again, seeing dim lamplight through your eyelids, and open your eyes, turning to see the clock on his nightstand read 4:32 a.m. Next, you look for him, confused, and spot him hunched over his desk, a textbook in front of him, where you were sure you had fallen asleep earlier.
“Hendery?” You say, causing him to turn his head in surprise. “Why are you awake? It’s so late.”
“I can never sleep this early,” he replies, giving you a soft smile. “Go back to sleep, I’ll wake you up in time for class.”
“I have a 9 a.m.,” you say, suddenly realizing where you are and what’s happening. “I’m terrible, I’m taking up your bed.”
You start to get up, but he stops you, putting a hand on the edge of the bed. “It’s fine. I’ll sleep later. I told you I can never sleep this early.”
“It’s not early,” you say, pushing a hand through your hair, “Do you have a test tomorrow or something?”
He shakes his head, glancing back at the textbook. “I just can’t sleep most nights. When I can’t sleep, I just study.”
Your eyes widen as you make the connection. “That’s why you got a better score in chemistry than me…”
He smiles bitterly. “Yup. Now, go back to sleep.”
“I’ll only sleep if you come sleep with me.” You’re too tired to care about the implications of what you just said, instead making grabby-hands at him.
Frowning at you, he shakes his head. “I really-”
“I’m staying awake, then.” You pout at him and he sighs, giving in and shutting his textbook. The lamplight gets flicked off and he slips under the covers, facing towards you. He can’t see the smile on your face in the dark, but he’s sure it’s there. Carefully, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest.
“Is this okay?” You hum in response and, before you know it, you’re asleep in his arms. He sleeps more soundly that night that he had in a long time.
The next evening, you find yourself in that same practice room, listening to him play again. This time, it’s a piece you’ve heard before but can’t quite name - you’ve never been very well-versed in classical piano pieces, but you can at least recognize the melody. Suddenly, he stops playing and looks at you. You think that his gaze has been softer recently and you think you like it. You hold that eye contact with him as he speaks.
“I’ve been thinking about it and… why did you even come in here that day? Why did you want me to play for you so bad?” His voice is expectant, as if he had been trying to find answers about you just like you had been trying to find answers about him. After everything that happened last night, you figure that it’s time to come clean.
You swallow your feelings, your pride, your everything. “I heard you playing and I just…” You trail off. “I can’t really describe how I felt. You just played beautifully.” To try to explain what made you follow the music you heard, you dig around in your backpack, pulling out a notebook. The cover is beaten up, worn down from many years of usage, with only a few blank pages left towards the end of the notebook. You run a hand over the cover. You don’t know why you trust him so much already, but you suppose that hearing him play just now makes you feel as if he had opened his heart to you as well, in a way. You hand him the notebook. He takes it with gentle hands, his gaze not leaving your face. “This is my music notebook. Every song I’ve ever worked on is in here. For a while, it was hard to make anything. Anything at all. But, when you played that day, it made me feel like writing again. I…” You pause, feeling the confession scratch at your throat and turn your face pink with embarrassment. A moment before, he had opened your notebook, flipping through some of the pages, but he stops and looks back up at you when you stop talking. “...I actually sat outside the door and wrote something for a little while I listened to you play.”
His eyes are wide and curious, another look you don’t really see on him that often, as you talk. “What did you write?”
“It’s… it’s in there somewhere.” You know by heart where that song is, but you don’t want to admit that to him just yet. He gave you your inspiration back, whether he did it on purpose or not, and that means everything to you - how could you not remember where that song is? “Anyway, yesterday you played like you did that day again.”
He nods slowly, his dark hair swaying above his handsome face. “I think I get it.” You think he really means it and you can’t help but smile. “You love music, right?” He asks, keeping his gaze on you as he hands your notebook back to you.
“More than anything.” From somewhere deep down, he feels a flutter of emotion at your genuine, heartwarming smile.
“Why are you just a music minor, then? Why not make it your major?” He almost falters as he sees the look on your face fade into something more mournful, something much sadder. You clutch your notebook to your chest.
“My parents would never let me. I have to do chemistry. I don’t hate it, but… it’s not something I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.” A few weeks ago, you never would have guessed that you’d be confessing your deepest sadness and insecurity to Hendery Wong of all people, but here you are. Your voice lowers as you whisper your previously unspoken thoughts. “I don’t think I’ll be happy doing it.”
“Just quit.” He suggests it so quickly, so easily that you don’t know how to comprehend what he said or how to respond to him.
“Quit? It’s not that easy,” you scoff at him.
“Do what you want with your life. Stop all of that following your parents’ wishes and just quit. Major in music.” You stare at him, dumbfounded.
“I- I can’t-”
“Can’t you?” He says, raising an eyebrow at you. “Who’s paying your tuition?”
“I’m on scholarship, but-”
“Who’s paying your living expenses?” “I mean, I have a job over breaks and I make some side money here when I can…”
“So, just switch majors. Quit doing the thing you hate and living only to satisfy your parents. Live for yourself for once.” Your eyes are wide and you can’t help but continue to stare at him, your mouth agape. Could you really…?
“I… I don’t know if I could have a career in music…” You trail off, stumbling for all of the excuses you gave yourself over the past few years.
He rolls his eyes dramatically. “You know you can find something in the field. Just do your research. You’re smart and hardworking. You can find something.”
For the third time in the short while you’ve known him, he’s opening your eyes. Your heart lifts from where it had been weighed down in your chest for so long and you suddenly feel like soaring. You’d looked into more doable careers in music in the past and you’d found so many opportunities, but you had crossed them off in your head because of everything your parents burned into your head. You throw yourself against him, hugging him tightly. All of your emotions well up at once again and you feel like crying. “Thank you,” you say to him, “thank you.”
He hugs you back and doesn’t say much else.
Y/N: are you home?
Hendery: ya, why?
Y/N: look outside!!
A couple evenings later, you find yourself craving his company outside of your time in the practice rooms, but it’s late enough that you know he’ll probably be home. So, your feet take you outside of his apartment building. For the sake of ease and the little risk that comes with it, you peek up at his window - he’s only on the second floor after all. His shadow soon appears in the window, the light blinding you to his actual appearance because of the darkness outside. He opens the window and peers down at you. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you,” you announce before studying the side of his building. There are quite a few uneven bricks and pipes, so if you just…
He watches as you climb up to his second floor apartment, sticking out a hand to grab yours when you get close enough and smirking as he pulls you the rest of the way in. “If I’m the bad boy, why are you the one climbing in my window at night?”
“Honestly, it was kind of fun,” you say, jokingly dusting your clothes off. “You should try it some- mm.”
He interrupts you by planting a kiss on your lips, to your pleasant surprise. When he pulls away, he seems proud of the blush that you can feel spreading across your face. “The front door would be much easier.”
“I guess…” You respond, still flustered. You’ll really have to get used to that. You also don’t want to tell him that you were avoiding Ten, as his roommate doesn’t know anything about your relationship with Hendery yet and you don’t have the greatest impression of the guy. Shaking your head to clear your inhibitions, you smile at him as he closes the window again. “Anyways, I have good news!” At his hum, affirming that he’s listening to you, you continue. “I talked to my advisor today and she said I’m good to change majors! I just have to wait until next semester for my major-related classes start up. I’ll probably still graduate on time, too, given the way things are going.”
“I’m happy for you, babe.” He brushes your hair back and kisses your forehead, making warmth bubble up in your chest. His arms wrap around you in a hug a moment later.
“Thank you again,” you mumble against his chest as he hugs you, “I really owe you everything.”
“Nah,” he says, “I’m just doing what a good boyfriend would do.”
“Boyfriend?” You say, pulling back ever so slightly to look at him. The two of you hadn’t put your relationship into terms like that yet, so the word surprises you before the feeling of excited butterflies swarms in your chest again.
“You don’t like it?” He says, quirking an eyebrow at you.
“I like it a lot, actually. My boyfriend, Hendery Wong, the bad boy.” The somewhat squeaky laugh he lets out is cute, so different from the persona you had associated him with for so long.
As usual, you find yourself lounging around his room, idly studying and doing the homework that you brought with you. It’s almost midnight when you hear a door slam nearby. There’s a brief pause and some shuffling noises before Hendery’s door flies open, revealing Ten. Hendery rolls his eyes. “Dude, what did I tell you about just coming in here when the door is closed? I could be doing stuff you don’t want to see.”
“Yeah, whatever. I needed to tell you-” He stops suddenly as he sees you sitting in the middle of the room with a textbook in front of you. “What is the puppy doing here?”
“Puppy?” You fire back. “Is that really the nickname you’re giving me?”
“We’re in a class together,” Hendery says, ignoring you and lying as easily as if he was just breathing. “We have a project to work on.”
“Uh-huh. No open space in the library?” Ten questions, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning on the doorframe.
“There’s a huge gen chem test tomorrow,” he says, “all the freshmen are in there. It was easier to just come here.” It’s not a lie - you know from your younger friends that he’s telling the truth, but his refusal to admit that there’s something more between the two of you makes you knit your brows together in displeasure.
“Whatever. I’ll tell you what happened with the boys later.” Ten eyes you once more before turning around, closing the door as he leaves. You nearly laugh out loud. At least he’s polite in that respect.
“We’re just classmates, huh?” You say, turning to the boy who had just proclaimed himself your boyfriend not two hours earlier. You get up from the floor, packing away your things. “I’m heading home.”
“You won’t stay the night?” He says, sitting up straighter.
“It’s getting kinda late for your ‘classmate’ to be here.” He watches helplessly as you finish gathering your things and step towards his bedroom door.
“No window this time?” He jokes, trying to lift your spirits back up.
“Like you said, the front door is much easier. Goodnight, Kunhang.” The coldness with which you say it keeps him frozen in place as you let yourself out. Neither of you sleep particularly well that night.
A few days later, as an apology, he plays a new song for you. When you listen to him, the feeling that his compositions bring you comes back like it always does, but it feels heavier, more melancholy this time. Half of your heart wants to forgive him and half of it wants to never speak to him again. You suppose the split is partially your fault - you shouldn’t have thought a relationship with Hendery, the self-proclaimed bad boy of the school, would be normal in any way. But, now that it has progressed this far, you just want it to work out. You like the honest side he shows you a lot more than you ever liked his troublemaking side. You wish he would just be more honest with everyone else, too.
As he plays, you find yourself moving closer until your head rests against his shoulder. Slowly, his song turns into something softer and sadder, his fingers dancing across the ivory and black keys more slowly. “What song is that?” You ask.
“Dunno.” He shrugs, stopping a few notes later. It seems unfinished somehow. He just stares down at the keys for a long moment. Finally, he takes a deep breath. “Listen… I’m sorry.”
“I want to say it’s okay, but it’s not.” Your response makes him frown more deeply, which makes you frown, too. You reach out, cupping his face in your hands so that he looks you in the eye and stops avoiding your gaze. His eyes, you notice, have a lot of warmth and emotion when he lets himself show it. “Kunhang. I like you. I really, really like you. But, if you want us to be together, you can’t keep treating me like this, like I’m your girlfriend here and you don’t know me at all when your friends are around. Listen.” You drop your hands from his face and place them on the piano. You pray that the chord you’re about to play is right and press down. Pleasant notes resonate through the room, into your bones, intertwining with your heartbeat as you sing. “I want to tell the whole world how I feel. I wish I could sing a song that shows them everything I see in you.” Your voice falls into a low, sad tone and the notes of your song turn into spoken resignation. “But, right now, you won’t let me.”
The silence between you is something that you know will make or break your relationship. You want him to choose you, to choose the good thing that you’ve found together, but, for a moment, you’re afraid he won’t. Then, he meets your eyes and smiles.
“Let’s show them, then.”
You peak out from behind the curtains of the stage. You can see some of your friends, including Mark, sitting in the audience. The house doors shut and you sigh, but a moment later, the doors open again, much to the annoyance of the ushers who had just closed them, and in walk Hendery, Ten, Lucas, and Yangyang. After seeing them, you duck backstage again and wait. Not too long into the start of the recital, Hendery joins you, wearing a slightly different outfit than he had walked in wearing. It’s his usual black, but slightly more formal and matching your own outfit well. A small feeling of pride wells up in your chest at the sight, pushing back the nerves that had begun to rise.
“Couple outfit,” you simply say. He rolls his eyes, but you can see the hint of a smile on his face. You know your performance is coming up soon, so you take his hands in yours. “Are you ready?”
“I should be asking you that,” he says, eyeing you, “you look like you’re about to run away any second.”
“I do not!” You whisper-yell back. “I’m-”
“You guys are up next,” a crew member interrupts, “two minutes.”
You thank her and turn back to your boyfriend. The air becomes more somber between the two of you. “Thank you,” you say, “for doing this with me.”
“Thanks for not giving up on me,” he responds. He leans down, about to plant a quick kiss on your lips, but the light on stage goes out and the crew member from before ushers the two of you forward and on stage. You don’t really hear as the emcees introduce you, but you can imagine the looks on Mark, Ten, Lucas, and Yangyang’s faces as your name and Hendery’s name are announced together.
When the light comes on, the only thing you can see is him sitting on the bench with the piano in front of him. You look at each other one more time before he looks away, taking a breath before he begins to play. The notes from the piano hold the beat in them and, when it’s your turn, you raise your microphone and start to sing along.
“As sweet as honey
Your smile is as sweet as honey…”
As you sing, you forget about all of the eyes on you, all of your friends and his friends watching the two of you in shock. You’re singing to him, so you think only of him. You know this is his first time in front of an audience like this, but he looks entirely at peace, the stage lights illuminating his features well and making him look even more handsome than usual. Then again, maybe it’s not the lights. Maybe the way your heart is soaring is changing the way that you see him yet again. A bright, warm smile makes its way onto your face as you sing. Before you can fully comprehend the situation, the song is ending and you’re singing your final lines.
“Your smile is so familiar to me
But I still can’t remember where
Ah… in my dreams.”
You lower the microphone from its position by your lips, finally looking out into the ground. Everyone’s eyes are round and wide as Hendery plays the last measures of the song. The last note seems to reverberate throughout the theater. As if they were waiting for that note to finally fade away, it takes a moment before the audience bursts into applause. While you stare out at them, microphone still clasped in your hand, Hendery gets up, moving to stand by your side. He takes your free hand, bringing you back to the real world, and leads you in a bow. A smile blossoms on your face again after you rise from your bow and you turn to him, prepared to smile at him, but, to your immense surprise, he takes your face in his hands and kisses you, full and fast in front of everyone. At the back of your mind, you register that people are cheering and gasping and giving you all sorts of reactions, but you just enjoy the feeling of his lips on yours.
After the show, you vaguely recall Mark coming up to you, completely in shock but congratulating you nonetheless, and Ten threatening you, saying, “you’d better not take him completely away from us,” but you can tell from the half-smile on his face that he’s fine with whatever is happening as long as he can see the glow of happiness in Hendery’s face. You suppose that Ten isn’t too bad of a guy.
Ten leaves and you turn to your, now proudly public, boyfriend. “Not so scary, right?” “I guess not.”
One by one, you find that the last blank pages of your notebook are being filled and, as he takes your hand, the very different spaces between the two of you close until all that’s left is the music that you made together.
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Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice
Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?
Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it. 
So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.
Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!
Something you can’t believe you forgot
So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol
Favourite character introduction moments/scenes
It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.
Favourite character arcs
I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!
Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.
His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)
Favourite quote/s
Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”
Favourite relationships
Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.
Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.
Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.
And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.
Favourite setting
Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!
Favourite chapter
As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.
Most loved character
At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT
Most hated character
Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!
Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)
Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.
Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture
Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.
- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.
- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that
- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.
- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.
- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol
- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES
- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing
- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.
- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.
- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.
- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)
- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.
- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.
- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.
- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch
- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!
- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol
Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)
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strvlveera · 4 years
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Requested!
Thank you @jshk-oneshots for requesting!
Please go to her blog she is a very sweet and kind person!~
Also @toilettebound here’s what you’ve been waiting for~~
Warning: Contains trying to commit suicide
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Isn’t Teru so pretty?? uwu
I’m sorry this is so damn long-
Didn’t Know You Were an Exorcist
Teru Minamoto x Reader
Kagami~Sama, that is who you were. A kind-hearted supernatural whose boundary was a mirror, reflecting peoples bad emotions to good if they wanted you to do so. Known by all humans, supernaturals? Not so much. All of a sudden all those wonderful titles withered and became horrid and detested titles, calling you the ‘evil one’ who harms anyone who gets in your way. These titles came upon you becasue of one powerful exorcist family. The Minamoto family.
They hated your guts and didn’t like the way you were being kind to most of the humans and supernaturals, one of them being Hanako~Kun. They believed you were tricking them with your kindess and beauty, even though you weren’t. Having your name tainted and reputation crushed you turned corrupted, leaving you to your (new) shattered mirror. Your safe boundary, your haven. Cold and alone, with no one by your side. 
You stayed like this for a few years. Feeling empty and scared that if you leave your mirror, they will come to find you again. After having plenty of break downs and crying for an eternity you finally decided to leave your ‘safe bound’ and live with the people who you once had cherished the most. Humans.  
Quickly, you fled from your cottage (that is now in ruins) and went to dwell where the humans lingered, trying to recall what memories you have left of them. Whilst running through the woods you spotted a glint of light coming your way.
Perfect.
With no hesitation, you got onto the roof of the vehicle ( a car ) trying to make yourself as light as possible so you wouldn’t have disrupted the humans driving.
The vehicle stopped which was your sign to jump off and explore. You hadn’t been outside your boundry for ages! The boundry being the mirror. The fresh air that you breathed in felt amazing but it was no time to go on a dander. You had to figure out what has changed since the past century. Having not aged you were still as beautiful as you were before the whole incident still looking young and fresh. People kept on looking at you while you were walking through the streets. This was gonna be hard to get used to and oh boy was it hard.
~Time Skip to when Teru enrolled into Kamome Gakuen~
“I'm finally here! After trying to find out what a computer was and how to use it I ended up enrolling to...” You looked weirdly at the piece of paper in your hands, trying to pronounce the school name properly
”K-kamum? Kamone? Ah! Kamome Gakuen, ” You finally said.
Trying to figure out where your class was you ended up bumping into someone.
”Do I hold the map this way? Or-”
”Ah!”
You fell on something, actually someone.
You opened your eyes to see who you accidentally tumbled into, only to be met with the most perfect blue diamond eyes you've ever seen. You didn't realise you were staring a bit too much. The stranger had to wave his hand near your face to regain your consciousness.
”Are you okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean to bump into you, ” He apologised, looking at you worryingly.
”Ah- no it's totally okay! I should be the one apologising excuse me for not being polite.”
He was first to stand up and lended me a hand. I gratefully took it while smiling at him. I dusted my skirt off and decided to introduce myself.
“Well, I’m [L/N] [F/N] and I hope we can become great friends!” You looked at him as if asking for his name.
”Oh uhm, Chikara Teru.” He replied. He looked uneasy.
We made eye contact again and then I got lost in his deep blue eyes, with him ending up waving his hand near my face (again). I just couldn't help it. His eyes are way to pretty for the world.
We made our way into the school building and we both ended up in the same class. Pretty convenient if I do say so myself. There's just this tingle in my heart telling me it's wrong to befriend a human being since it would be weird to tell him that I'm actually a supernatural who's literally over one hundred years old but just ignored it.
~Time Skip, 2 years~
( sorry for so many time skips ._. )
It's been two years since I enrolled in Kakome Guaken and Teru~Kun and I have become great friends but his popularity skyrocketed, leaving me in the shadows. I felt fine so I didn't complain to Teru about it. Whenever one of his ’fangirls’ would want to talk to him they always come to me first to ask for advice and I always respond with, ”Just be yourself! It doesn't matter what Teru thinks of you.” To be honest, it does hurt when they confess to them, only for Teru to reject them. I've always imagined myself as one of his fangirls confessing. I know he'll turn me down anyway so what the bother?
It's also been really hard not telling Teru that I'm a supernatural and I know he hates supernatural with all his might since he went on a rant about it. During that conversation, I stayed quiet while pangs in my heart erupted and I had to excuse myself to the toilet and cried my heart out. At that moment I realised that I actually had fallen for a human. No, no, no! I can't, it's not okay to. I'll have to keep these feelings to myself, even if they hurt me. At that moment, I heard someone come in.
”Hanako~san, Hanako~san, ” A soft voice said.
Is she talking about Hanako~Kun?
I swung the toilet door open and saw Hanako~Kun with a girl who had...radish legs? Huh. Hanako looked very troubled and wondered who I was but the realisation came to his face as he smiled widely at me.
”Kagami~Sama!” He cheerfully said.
That name still haunted me. My face went dark. Hanako was confused.
”Hanako~Kun, please don't call me that anymore. Just call me [Y/N].”
”Huh but why Kagami~Sama? I haven't seen you in years.” He said astonished.
”You haven't changed one bit!” He added.
At this point, I got quite annoyed.
”Just call me [Y/N] instead Hanako~Kun. Please I'm begging you!” I pleaded.
Hanako shrugged his shoulders. ”Whatever you say.”
---------
It's been two whole days since that happened. Hanako~Kun kept on following this girl callee Yashiro or whatever. Teru and I are doing okay, I still make so much effort to talk to him but only to be responded with a ”Sorry [Y/N]~Chan but I'm busy, ” or a ”Can’t talk right now sorry.” It really hurt and I didn't know what to do about it. So I decided to gather all my courage and confront him about it. That was a bad idea.
After searching for Teru you finally found him but not alone. Hanako was with him and it seemed as if they’re fighting.
“This is not gonna be good,” I told myself .
I quickly sprinted to the school roof to stop them. I slammed the door open to find Teru trying to destroy Hanako.
“TERU STOP!” I screamed. They all turned to look at me. I ran towards Hanako and tried to restrain him from fighting Teru with my normal form but it wasn’t helping. I looked at Teru for help only to see him holding a staff used for exorcism. I looked at Teru shockingly.
“Do you see now Kagami~Sama?” Hanako said.
“He’s an exorcist, he’s not fit being with you.”
My heart shattered and I felt tears erupt from my eyes.
“Hanako~Kun please leave,” I say sternly.
“Be careful~” With that he left.
It was silent. The wind blowing my hair and skirt.
“So, when were you gonna tell me your a supernatural?” Teru asked.
“Today.” I responded with hurt in my voice.
“Teru I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I-I thought you woul-“
He cut me off.
“I knew.”
“....Excuse me?” I say shocked.
“What do you mean I knew?” I asked.
“I knew that you were a supernatural ever since we met,” He said calmly.
My eyes widen and the streams of tears finally came flooding. Rage started to burst through me.
”What do you mean I KNEW?!” This was it for me.
”[Y/N]~Chan I-” he tried to speak but I wouldn't let him.
”So you're telling me that I've been crying and keeping to myself for nO REASON!?” I screamed.
”Do you know how many times I felt like leaving this school so that I wouldn't feel miserable or unhappy? I stayed though because of you Teru, I stayed because I didn't want to leave you.” I cried.
I stayed quiet after I said that as if someone had stitched my mouth closed.
”[Y/N]~Chan, I didn't want to tell you I knew because I thought it would've ruined our friendship. You were the first friend that I made which really boosted my confidence. I'm sorry if you felt lonely and miserable it's probably my fault.” Teru explained.
I looked up to him, his eyes shaking. I knew that he was gonna say something that I didn't know but I didn't know that it was going to be bad.
”Actually [Y/N]~Chan, I have something to say to you,” he meaningfully said.
I didn't say anything. Just gave him a little nod.
”My name isn't Chakara Teru...” He said
I was intrigued at what he had said, confused even.
”I'm actually Minamoto Teru.” He breathlessly explained.
”...........”
”[Y/N]~Chan?” Teru asked worryingly.
Minamoto.
Minamoto.
That was the family of exorcists that ruined me, who breaked me apart and Teru is part of that family. My eyes widened. I befriended my enemy. I felt suffocated, the one person I had to fall for was my enemy.
I chuckled to myself.
“Of course., I’m so stupid to believe I couldn’t finally be happy,” I sadly said with a small smile.
I looked behind me.
“[Y/N] what are you doing?” Teru asked concerned.
I took a step back.
Teru realised what I was trying to do.
“[Y/N] don’t you dare take another step back!”
One...
“LISTEN TO ME!”
Two....
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!”
Three...
I smiled at Teru, and gave a small wave.
“Thank you for everything Teru,” I calmly said.
Teru began running towards me at lightning speed, reaching his hand out to grap me.
“Bye.”
I took a step back and felt the air engulf me.
“This is it,” I told myself.
“I took my own life for a human,” I chuckled to myself.
“How pathetic.”
Until...
I felt a warm hand grab my arm. I looked up with tears streaming down my face like a waterfall. I again saw those diamond eyes.
“I love you, [Y/N]~Chan!’ Teru screamed. Bricks of tears at the corner of his eyes.
“Please don’t ever leave me.”
He pulled me up, hugged me tightly and I started sobbing against his shoulder while hitting him lightly.
He stared at me then got up. Put his hand out to help me up. This was a familiar scene. I gratefully took it smiling at him.
“I’m [L/N] [F/N], a supernatural who’s name is Kagami~Sama,” I explained, smiling at him.
“And I’m Minamoto Teru, an exorcist.”
We both started laughing.
We looked at each other and leaned in.
My cheeks were hot and I felt butterflies. We were almost there when-
“Oooh, Nii~Chan I didn’t know you had a girlfriend?”
We both quickly whipped our heads to where the voice came from only too see Teru’s little bother and my kouhai.
~End-
I’m so sorry that this took a long time and it didn’t turn out good .-. I’m still proud tho lolol
There’s probs a lot of spelling mistakes that I haven’t seen •3•✌🏽
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also i’ve been mulling over the “we’re Living ex machina!!!!” line and like, it still doesn’t make sense Really, but here’s my Afternoon Musings i guess
i’ve only actually seen ex machina once like 3 years ago but as i remember it goes a little something like This: some rando white-collar programmer guy has like, won a contest where the prize is to go hang out for maybe a few days or a week or so with this ~visionary genius~ tech dude played by oscar isaac at oscar isaac tech dude’s off-the-grid reclusive mansion or whatever.......i thiiiink the Protag Programmer won b/c his programming submission was Really Good but also maybe there’s a [randomly selected] element to it, or maybe we Think it was partly random selection but then learn it was actually All “yeah i chose you b/c your coding was the Best,” idk. doesn’t really matter but anyway yeah protag guy gets helicoptered in to the oscar isaac genius bro’s secret mansion 
oscar isaac soon reveals he has this advanced ai android whomst he wants the Protagonist to study / turing test, and the protagonist does that, but during one Conversation Session with this android (who is named ava i think? and designed to Look Like a Woman oo) like the lights turn off and ava-i-think informs the protagonist she’s found a Weakness in the mansion’s security system and hackt it so that the power (and thus the Security / Monitoring Systems) shut down for a minute like this but could feasibly be thought of as a glitch and anyways she’s like yeah i have feelings and thoughts and i want to Not Be Trapped here, ya gotta help me out here buddy, and then yknow ooh the systems come back on, oscar isaac can Observe them again, intrigue.....tl;dr protag and ava keep having these short secret convos and Do plan to break her out, there’s this dramatic moment where oscar isaac (who’s natch been acting weirder and more erratic as the plot unfolds) confronts the protag after the protag has just like, tried to get him blackout smashed by Hanging Out With Him lmfao and oscar isaac is like “ooh i knew you were planning to break her out, i’m gonna stop you guys though haha pwned” but then oh further twist, turns out ava and protag Knew that was the case and were thinking one step ahead and idk but yeah they break her out and oscar isaac dies but ooh further twist!!! ava locks the protag (or well, just Does Not Unlock, As Planned) in some room and leaves the mansion and gets on the Helicopter meant to take the protag back to wherever after the planned end of his stay. and the protag is just stuck there b/c everyone else is dead and presumably he dies as ava gets to exist in the outside world now, idk, we don’t need ex machina 2 where he’s escaped or smthing lmao
and i do NOT get what winston is comparing their situation to lmfao. like, oh rian is like an advanced ai android??? if anything, her being the more like ~true believer in High Finance as a means of socially beneficial effect~ vs winston like, having the supposedly cutthroat and cold Math approach would make Him more of the ~oh no more a robot than a person~ (though i think it’s Ambiguous whether we wanna judge ava as more Scary Bad or Sympathetic).........you can’t even really make the connection that “oh no we’re being deliberately Replaced!!” b/c if winston is [protag programmer rando] and rian is [ava] and wendy is, i guess oscar isaac then, uhhhh oscar isaac most definitely did Not intend to ~replace~ the protag with ava, he very much wanted her trapped in his mansion still........and the protagonist Only got “replaced” by ava in the sense that she took his place on the helicopter out of the reclusive secret mansion. i really doubt she planned to, or would even be able to, like take over his identity/life beyond that.....certainly not his job lol like, coworkers are gonna notice you’re a different person, there was no implication the androids can like oh shapeshift their appearance or whatever, and no implications about what ava even intended to do in the Outside World which is kind of bemusing b/c like, what of the Practical Questions of being an android and needing whatever Fuel Source a robot does, idk that might’ve been addressed or smthing like “oh yeah they can just Eat,” also she clearly does not Trust People considering her only company was evil oscar isaac creator and she wasn’t interested in bringing the protag along, plus yknow the fact that she Did deliberately manipulate the protag into thinking that she wanted to escape into the world With him........but not like i guess she has any choice for any other world to escape into but the one with all the people where she pretends to be an organic human
like there is just NO point of comparison where these situations line up unless you get soooooooo like broad strokes about ex machina that you’d do better to compare your experience to Anything else lmao. like, does winston think she’s some like, ideal advanced version of him?? like you might consider a crafted AI android to be?? i don’t know but i mean i think we have a more feasible explanation for why he’s so Insistent about this totally being Ex Machina, if only b/c as a straightforward comparison i swear to god it doesn’t work lmfao None of these points line up at all with any significance that’s worth insisting on
given that winston’s Apparently Canonically meant to be crushing on rian, and we have his example of ribbing her by calling her “gal gadot’s quirky sister” which is like, okay so the dunk is “you look similar to this famous a-lister who everyone thinks is pretty” and “also you’re quirky, boom” like, i think that could easily be meant as like, a Tell that winston already ~likes~ her.............aaaand it’s also somewhat ~ambiguous~ but i mean i think it’s safe to say that in Ex Machina you may understand the protag as having Fallen For the ai android lady. so maybe we can Understand this invocation of ex machina as being like “ooh person meant to replace me is Attractive but ultimately i think this Overall Situation is a bad thing i shouldn’t feel this way i resent it” like, a bit of a Reach, but honestly it’s way more of a reach to think about applying anything else about this scenario to ex machina, so i could v much believe that the thought that went behind writing this is once again, like, “okay winston’s invoking one thing on the surface level here, but simultaneously he’s already (inadvertently probably) acknowledging like oh also i have a crush on her already”
between this episode seeming to be Setup and the [winston has a Canon crush] and the fact that it probably seems like They Will Fuck A Nonzero Number Of Times or Make Out At Least But It’s Billions So, Might Get A Humorous Cut To [Postcoital] Or A Scene Where They Arrive At Work Together Short Of Breath With Messy Hair  And Hickies And Winston’s Got A Hoodie W/ “Property Of Rian” On It Until He Goes "Oh Shit Woops” And Hands It To Her And She’s Like “Oh Btw You Forgot Your Glasses.....Uh You Left Them Here On Your Desk Yesterday I Mean Of Course” And Hands Them To Him And An Unnamed Character Stands Up And Asks “Daily Poll: Who Had Sex With A Coworker Last Night” And Rian And Winston Raise Their Hands Before Going “Oh Wait” And Lowering Them With A Shake Of The Head And A Nervous Cough and i’m exaggerating but you know, the equivalent of the billions writing saying “wwinnnk” at us. i am fine with them having an unsolemn like, quasi-rivals-to-lovers (or -And-lovers) dynamic, even with it being a bit messy in like, still an overall Fun way, where yknow it doesn’t have to be peak epic romance cuz a) that’s just Always true and yet it can still be overall an okay thing even if they don’t quite get it together / mostly just trade sparks and sometimes hook up and b) idk seems like mayybe rian’s character isn’t meant to go beyond this season, so, an inherent limit there if true
i’m like Apologetic for being like “already i like their dynamic even as Romantique and it’s kinda cute and fun and i’m willing to continue to be engaged w/ this as long as the writing doesn’t completely fuck it up” lmao like, i guess i Did inadvertently give myself time to prepare for this exact eventuality b/c of wondering if this exact character would have A Thing w/ winston whenever she showed up and even if i was like “haha the character could show up Anywhere and do Anything and what are the odds, right” i was also like “hmm but i’m going to really think about it though” like, as always, didn’t think i was cassandraing that hard, but truly did do it 4x03 style where everyone else can be like “you never [made the text post or gave any indication you were thinking about “what if whoever she plays and winston have some kind of romance thing going on”]” and i can go “i only thought it but didn’t say it....doesn’t count” but well. i did think it lmao and why would i make it up.......sorry i had such a head start on Getting More Used To This Notion.......some crimes can never be forgiven.meme.......
anyways natch “intense horrible passionate” seems a little foreboding but maybe she was talking about it relative to [any Normal show] rather than the standards we’re used to on billions, where this was all but a Meet Cute, and a kind of quasi coworker rivalry where nobody’s taking it *that* deeply seriously and they also seem to mutually like each other by the end of 5x05 already so how not-amicable can it get. and re: Intense like, maybe the writing in future episodes will totally upend this, but i’d say rian and winston in 5x05, even when “clashing,” was like damn near laidback and chill. neither of them seem at all that pressed, but maybe even a sorta-playful Friendly Rivalry is more “intense” than, say, a dynamic that involves no rivalry at all. imo “Passionate” is just like, okay, so they’ll fuck or at least make out? sure. not sure what to make of “horrible” lmfao maybe again it’s addressing like “this is a lil messy and they’re kinda rivals!!!” like, certainly not an ideal start, except by billions standards it IS weirdly great. rian seeming good-naturedly amused by winston is something we didn’t get from his longtime-coworkers until like, now, sort of, and still not to the degree that anyone has smiled at him as many times as rian did in like that course of [1 min long First Scene Together] wherein also winston always gets off to a way worse start with people lmao............like everything about this seems Way Better And More Dialed Back And Grounded than usual, actually. but it’s that like, point of reference of “what’s Usual for winston and, more broadly, Billions” that maybe explains this weirdly strong language when all in 5x05 seemed chill actually
anyways like i said Sorry For Already Liking Rian/Winston This Much with my head start and all where like, i’m even tentatively looking forward to seeing where this goes, by “tentative” i also mean going [”i’ll kill you” the office.jpg] at billions where i am fully aware that maybe where this goes *is* a mess and not in like, just kind of a fun, non-melodramatic, not-treated-like-a-total-joke-but-also-not-that-big-a-deal way, where 5x05 could seem like Those Halcyon Days b/c everything from here out just devolves into an unappealing disaster.......but this is an unexpectedly solid start imo and like. even if this doesn’t become like this epic romance where they officially date and if rian does eventually depart the show by the end of the season, it can still just be Enjoyable and Fun for the characters and, god forbid, the viewers, where like, you don’t have to demand we be desperately invested with our entire life in this deadly serious heartwrenching epic romance, they can just kind of mess around and enjoy having a mutual attraction w/ this mathy rivalry and etc and it’s neither a tragedy of “the greatest love story of all time torn asunder” Or, truly god forbid,” this is a Whole Mess In A Bad Way b/c winston’s involved and ugh who could Really like him, being at all romantically entangled is an embarrassing mistake surely, ew cringe we hate him............like, cautiously optimistic in how like i always say that a Romantic Arc is just an easy/efficient way to develop both characters and it could certainly humanize winston an ounce in a show that treats him more like a walking algorithmic plot device and the thoughts of any viewers but us are limited to “winston annoying” basically........the show doesn’t seem to treat rian as a joke, so it seems possible that their mutual Romance in whatever way it unfolds could also be Not A Joke, which means winston’s part in it isn’t a joke, so that’s Some aspect of him for people to take seriously, for once..........like, the way his apparently-already-official crush played out in 5x05 *was* funny but it also didn’t seem like oh it’s a joke b/c his feelings are a total joke......it might seem that way if this *was* totally unrequited and going nowhere, but i somewhat get the sense that the interest is mutual even by the end of the ep, that didn’t strike me as a “shove off, it could Never Happen” shutdown from rian there, just like, hold off on that for rn maybe cue to rein it in a little, not just yet........anyways lmao i’m like “oh yeah i started this post about the baffling ex machina thing” but yeah the point is i think so far it’s pretty solid and i like it and am cautiously but [relative-to-billions level of Hopeful] about whatever developments we’re surely gonna get b/c it def sounds like this has Not ended with 5x05, but seriously @ billions i swear to god. yes so far the approach to winston’s crush here and even their unfolding mutual dynamique and dare i say, romantic interest, is being handled with an encouraging level of “this is Humorous but the characters / their feelings are not what’s being treated as A Total Joke or anything,” but who knows what will come next, this is billions and you can’t predict anything. fingers crossed about it all, though
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thenightling · 4 years
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The Dreaming issue 16
Okay, Simon.  A Night Hag.  Good for you in finally explaining what Dora is over a year and a half after you start!  FINALLY!
 Told you it would be kind of anti-climatic...   Actually, I’m kind of relieved.  I thought it might end up being ridiculously big.  It makes sense but that really, really didn’t need to be a mystery / surprise.  In fact that’s like announcing “Dora is humanoid.”   It’s like “...And?  Water is wet now?”   This was your big build up?  The reveal that the monster that is always hungry and horny ...is a Night Hag?  That’s like trying to make a Marvel twist that Malekith is a Drow. 
I shouldn’t complain.  This makes perfect sense.   I’m just annoyed at the long, drawn out “GUESS DORA’S AMAZING SECRET!”  You might as well have said the secret is “She has weird ears.”   
It makes sense.  And of course she was the accidental catalyst and inspiration for Hyperion’s scheme.   Thanks, Dora... 
This really did not need to be drawn out as long as it was.
Though if we really nitpick here, Eve sort of fit the Night Hag Role when she was haunting the dying Matthew Cable before he became Morpheus’ raven...  I know she’s technically not a Night Hag but she pretty much served that purpose during her appearance in Swamp Thing in the issue where Matthew dies (and ultimately becomes Morpheus’ raven).  
Now let’s pause a moment. The records of Morpheus’ capture WERE SOLD AT AN ESTATE (Garage) SALE IN 2007!?!  What the Hell type of garage sales do you go to!?? 
Thanks, Paul...  Or is Paul dead? I figured Alexander Burgess should have passed away by now but who is running the estate that you can just buy records of Morpheus’ capture?!
Also do- not- compare- the Lord of Dreams to an app! 
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I have to admit this issue was actually kind of interesting (Finally!  It hasn’t been intriguing since issue 7.  That was the first and last truly interesting issue and even then it’s implied Daniel killed a bunch of men... for just catcalling...).   However if that was supposed to be a “Surprise” twist that the “consciousness” uploaded in the house from The Dreaming was Cain, I figured that out the first page it appeared.  Thank you for not trying to stretch out that “Surprise” reveal.  
From the get-go I think Simon has had a pretty loose idea of what Cain actually is, confusing his compulsion to kill Abel with a generic “Kill everything!”   Once you get the hang of his misunderstanding of what Cain is, it’s easy to spot Cain even when he’s a disembodied voice.   Oh, well.  Still better than Caitlin R. Kiernan deciding that Cain was a misogynist.   Weirdly though, she wrote him okay in the volume 2 version of The House of Mystery.  Just not the first version of The Dreaming.   
Cain’s not that hard of a character to figure out, guys.  He’s essentially The Crypt Keeper with an obsession with the concept of mystery, a love of his own spooky old house, and a fratricidal compulsion with some Vincent Price-isms.  He’s not the Crazy Harry Muppet.   
Paul Dini figured him out well enough to use him accurately in the kids show Justice League: Action for the episode Trick or Threat.  But then again Paul Dini is a master.  Cain’s been so badly mishandled in two versions of The Dreaming that I’m starting to seriously pity the bastard.
No joke, I had a weird dream back in early March of 2018. I might have posted about it back then.  I’m just too lazy to try to find it.  In the dream an old man that I thought was Alexander Burgess was trying to set right a terrible wrong he had done to The Dreaming.   There was an elaborate pentacle on a floor.  Don’t you just love when your mind gives you half-assed spoilers?   Well, I was partly right...  Thanks for the spoilers, Dream King.   Too bad I misinterpreted who the bald old man was. 
Dora has found Hyperion Keter, the man behind this madness.  Apparently she, as a Night Hag, was feeding on him in his nightmares in the early 90s.  He confronted her, told her that she was not real, and it caused her to fall into an existential crisis where Morpheus found her and took pity on her.       
Hyperion (Who is essentially a Steve Jobs type) came up with a mad scheme to save humanity from it’s own fear, superstition, and cruelties in the name of religion by destroying all of that- our faith, our beliefs, our myths and legends and superstitions, through our very dreams.  He created an AI that doesn’t know what their true purpose is.  The AI wants to be good and benign but is designed to destroy belief. Daniel was branded with a powerful geas tattoo placed on him by his lover (and great-niece) Ivy, who was controlled by the occultists.  Daniel came to Hyperion and showed him what his madness would do if successful so Hyperion decided to try to stop it but his own people turned against him.  Weak and dying from cancer, Hyperion was helpless.
Cain’s “essence” was uploaded into a...  Cloud server... And is now haunting the mansion where poor Hyperion lay dying and remorseful.   
Sixteen issues and this whole thing feels like it could have been told in three or four issues...  Ah, well.  At least it’s moving now...   And here I thought issue 16 would just be Lucien trying to kill himself.  I guess that’s issue 17?
I don’t know why I’m so bitter.  Maybe it’s because I know this could have been so much better.  It had such potential.  My subconscious gave me the loose version of the plot back in 2018.   I saw the good parts.
Anyway, for all my bitching this was probably the best issue since issue 7.   I liked issue 7, just not that weird part of Daniel apparently drowning those men for catcalling and Ivy “devastated” when Daniel had refused to be tattooed by her.  And this was before the occultists controlled her.  Here’s a little exercise. If it’s not okay for a man to do that to a woman, it’s also not okay for a woman to do that to a man.   Respect your lover’s autonomy and never try to guilt someone into body modification, no matter what your profession is.  No means no, bitch.
I AM amused, however, by the fact that the binding sigil- the geas tattoo holding poor Daniel is a cross between a Solomonic figure and a dream catcher.  You trapped Dream ...with a Dream Catcher...
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Anyway, for the first time since issue 7 we actually got answers.   There was actual plot progression.   And I actually give a damn about what’s going on.
Issue 16...  is actually a decent read.    Not bad.  Definitely a lot more satisfying than most of The Dreaming so far.
I still miss the Vertigo logo...
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Now for the next concern...
So…  Who is ready for the (As of right now) “implied” death of Lucien next month?   If this happens there will be no salvaging this version of The Dreaming.  It’s just Caitlin R. Kiernan’s version in a new wrapper and changing which Dreaming character dies for a cheap knock-off of The Wake.
Please, let this implication be wrong…
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redeadepression · 5 years
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Hello, I hope you're feeling good today! Umm I was curious if you want to share some HCs about modern John and Arthur. What aspects would change if they lived in our present days? Or if they woke up a day and were here? :)
Modern AU | Arthur Morgan | John Marston | Headcanons
~~~~~
OMG yes. So I think about Modern AU Arthur and John A LOT. Both in the sense that they actually grew up in modern AU and that’s all they have know and the sense that they have just woken up in a modern world and have to come to terms with what the world is like in 2019. 
I’ll just do a set for each of the boys on Modern AU because this post was getting SO long. But pleaseee if you want to hear about 1899 Arthur and John in a Modern world, send me an ask!
John’s HCs are MUCH more fleshed out than Arthur’s and really more of a narrative where as for Arthur I have a huge bunch of ideas as to who he is as a person but nothing super solid for his actual story.
I have SO many more headcanons about these guys and also Modern AU Abigail. If you want to see more, just ask. ♥
~~~~~
A little background on Modern AU Arthur and John. John’s Father died when he was They were both placed in the Foster-care system where they were taken in by Dutch and Hosea; an older couple that decided to foster instead of adopt. Arthur is still 10 years older than John. He is placed with Dutch and Hosea at around the age of 10 and then seven years later John is placed with them as well at the age of 7. 
Arthur isn’t an orphan but he was taken away from his bio Father due to abuse and after that his Father spiralled and found himself in prison. His sentence kept getting extended due to bad behaviour and eventually Arthur writes him off when he reaches adulthood, realising he isn’t going to change. Dutch and Hosea adopt Arthur with his Father’s consent right before he turns 18. His mother died due to illness when he was a toddler.
John’s Mother died in childbirth and his abusive Father was killed when John was 6. He goes straight in to Foster-care and is bounced around from house to house due to his troublesome nature. His Foster parents find him challenging and he continues to be replaced until eventually he lands with Dutch and Hosea at the age of 7. After Arthur, they find John and his anxieties/acting out to not be all that much of a handful.
John isn’t adopted when he turns 18 and as a result has a strained relationship with the people he had considered his family for over 10 years. He attends family Christmas and other holidays but ultimately feels out of place.
~~~~~
Modern AU Arthur:
Okay so first thing you need to know about Modern Arthur is he’s a serial dater
A romantic always looking for ‘the one’
But total self-sabotager when anyone promising appears
Think Ted Mosby from HIMYM
He is HOT but he doesn’t really know it
Really low self-esteem
But at the same time weirdly arrogant because he can pretty much get any woman he wants
He has a new partner every couple of weeks
Always brings them to events and puts them in the photos which annoys his friends
When he is roughly 25 he has a bad break up and decides to ‘be single’ for a while
He meets Eliza and has a one night stand
She gets pregnant
He tries to make it work with her but in the end they are too different
They break up and Arthur is a little relieved
He’s a good Dad to Issac 
But Eliza moves away with him when he is around 3
So Arthur only see’s him on holidays and when he can afford to fly out for a visit
He is an Artist
Actually makes some decent money off his work
But hates the whole ‘art scene’
Absolutely despises rubbing noses with “pretentious art folk”
But despite that, is really good at schmoozing to get his art recognised
His friends like to remind him that he’s actually really pretentious himself sometimes
But he likes to think of himself as ‘Down to Earth’
He loves food
Always has snacks
Lives off coffee
Has drank dirty paint water instead of his coffee many, many times
Arthur has a really good parental bond with both Dutch and Hosea
He gets along with them both really well and often voluntarily spends time at their house where he grew up
Dutch is an enabler to Arthur’s womanising
He instils the belief in Arthur that when he meets ‘The One’ he will know instantly
Hosea disapproves and encourages him to try and settle down
Not every relationship is perfect but they still work out etc
Arthur’s sibling relationship with John turned to more of a friendship when the later turned 18
He invited John to live with him for a little while, while he was setting up his business
They didn’t live together for long as they got on each others nerves too often
Arthur doesn’t have many male friends
He finds it easier to connect with women in a platonic sense
Besides John, his male friends are his friend’s husbands
(i.e Jake Adler)
 Arthur likes to go away for a couple of weeks at a time
Sometimes he tells people where he’s going
Other times he just disappears
But his Instagram alerts his family to the fact he’s still alive
He never goes on extravagant vacations
Often saving enough for a flight and a stay at a hostel somewhere
Sometimes he camps
He uses these trips for inspiration in his work
Often has a huge influx of stylised work, based on where he’s been once he returns home 
It gradually returns to his usual art-style 
That’s when he realises it’s time to get away again
He feels content in his life and genuinely enjoys living
He actively yearns for more but deep down isn’t sure he actually wants it
He could live like this the rest of his life and not have many regrets
Modern AU John:
As a child, John never really had anything of his own
Never had anything new
Always hand-me-downs
So once he becomes a teen he is incredibly keen to enter the work-force
He’s very excited to spend his first pay cheque on something new for himself
He never flourished at school
Found that he was much better at working
Especially with his hands and machinery 
He took on a trade and worked to become a construction worker
When he reaches adulthood and realises he’s going to have to live by his own means he takes a business course
Starts his own company at the age of 18, doing handy-man kind of work
Dutch and Hosea offer him money to grow it
He turns it down as he feels it’s out of guilt
This spurs him on to work even harder
He wants to prove himself
Eventually starts to make enough money to hire staff
Starts taking on bigger clients
Bigger jobs
Grows his company until at the age of 22 he’s got his own small business and it’s thriving
He does well for himself
He lives off Energy Drinks and coffee
Fast food is a must
Often eats in his car at lunch or on his way home from work
It’s lonely
He meets Abigail and they start casually dating
Not long in to their relationship she falls pregnant
John freaks out but recovers well
He doesn’t want his child to grow up like he did
Proposes because he’s young and dumb
They get married really quickly despite people trying to tell them it’s a bad idea
He takes a mortgage on a house and they move in together
Things are good for a while
But once baby Jack comes they go downhill
Abigail is a good Mother but very young and selfish
This is a whole other set of headcanons if anyone is interested, I’ll write them
John steps up as a Father because he has to if he wants his child to have a good life
He flails a lot
Almost drowns a couple of times
Eventually falls in to a good rhythm of work and baby
His relationship with Abigail crumbles
They separate with joint custody
He has a few good friends
He leans on them hard in during his divorce
He sells his house and moves in with a friend for emotional support/help with the baby
Puts the profits from his sale in to his business and grows it further
As a human; he has a lot of flaws
But they are very different from his flaws in 1899
He is full of anxieties and mental health issues
But refuses to work on them
As a Father he feels he is unfit
But he takes it on anyway and is actually a natural
As a husband he was clingy, yet distant at the same time
Wanting attention and then space when it suited him
He is resentful of Abigail for ultimately being the one to end the marriage
Despite knowing it was for the best
He starts dating a friend
He realises what a good, supportive relationship is like
He and Abigail fight often about what’s right for Jack
John grows frustrated with her childishness 
Eventually fights for full custody because he feels like Jack isn’t Abigail’s first priority
Doesn’t win due to being at work full-time 
Abigail settles on 70/30 because she is also working and knows John can afford a better Nanny than she can
He never confront Dutch and Hosea about not being adopted
Figures they just didn’t want him to be permanent in their lives
They were his parents for 11 years
It stings but he moves on
He’s in denial about how much it affects him 
Affects the decisions his makes parenting his son
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gamearamamegathons · 5 years
Text
Dragon Quest V: My Life As A Lawn Gnome
Circe here! At this point I should really just steer clear of royal lineages. It never goes well for me. But okay, let me pick up where we left off.
So I was going to head off to this Cave of Trials to prove myself to the suspicious chancellor and ascend to the throne of Granvania. It looks like I can bring my monsters with me, so it's just Bianca who's staying behind. Clearly the chancellor is hoping I'll be offed by monsters, but we can guess how well that works on a JRPG protagonist. The Cave of Trials starts off with a curious little puzzle, actually; you can enter one of four doors, and it appears to be a dead end, but if you leave through the correct door, you come out somewhere else. It took me a while to figure out how this works, but once I had it, it becomes a fairly conventional dungeon. The encounters aren't really that tough, so I'm able to push my way through pretty easily. There's a couple more puzzle-like things, but the only one I found at all interesting was where you had to drain a room of water without being swept away, by positioning a rock so you could catch yourself on it. So that was kinda neat.
Once I found the Symbol of Royalty at the bottom of the cave, I was soon confronted by some thugs who informed me that "someone" didn't want me to become king. Gee, I wonder who that is. Luckily they were not terribly threatening, so I brought the symbol back to the castle. By this time I had enough evidence to stick my sword through the chancellor's chest, or at least, as much evidence as you need when you're a king-to-be. Instead, of course, the current king didn't notice anything unusual and let the chancellor wander off to set some other very predictable trap.
First, though, we need to continue the whole pregnancy subplot. It looks like Bianca is going into labor, which means that I get to wander around and be useless until the plot moves forward. This whole thing feels weirdly creepy and normative, with Bianca not seeming to care about anything except giving me a baby. It's a very narrow, sanitized view of childbirth, and the best thing I can say about it is that at least we're moving on from this plot point soon. The weirdest part is where Bianca asks you to praise her for...giving birth good? And you can answer "yes" or "no"...for some reason. I said yes, because, I mean, I'm not a monster. This whole thing is fucking bizarre.
In any case, she ends up having twins, a boy and a girl. I decide to name them after my own characters, so now we have baby SAMMY and baby LAMIRA. Now it's time for everyone to get hammered in celebration of my becoming king! Just, the whole kingdom pretty much, it seems like. So that's a very good idea and nothing could go wrong, except it does. After a good amount of wandering around trying to find the fucking plot, I finally ended up giving in and finding out that you have to SEARCH UNDER YOUR BED. I have no idea how long it would've taken me to figure that out on my own. Once we do that, we find the midwife hiding there with the babies, and she explains that Bianca has been kidnapped. Because of fucking course. In order to find out what to do next, I'm left to wander around the castle, so of course I just look up what to do next. If we poke around in the chancellor's room, we can find a pair of flying shoes. I'm pretty sure we went through this exact same process in Dragon Quest 4, and sure enough, if we go outside and use the flying shoes, they take us somewhere else.
There's a convenient place to rest in this new location, and then, further up, a tower for us to climb. This dungeon turns out to be kind of a pain in the ass. There's quite a few more traps here, in the form of flamethrowers that will activate when you walk past them, taking off a huge chunk of your health and possibly even killing you outright. To get past them all you have to push rocks in front of them. You can also be cursed, which causes you to take damage when walking around, but can't be cured by the Antidote spell. So that's fantastic. Regardless, I make my way up the tower and find the chancellor, who was apparently immediately betrayed by the monsters he was plotting with, and dies. What an absolute piece of garbage.
When we reach the top of the tower, we fight a boss called "Orc Lv. 20", which is very odd because enemies do not typically display their levels in their names. I have no idea what to make of this. He's pretty easy to kill. After that we fight "Wyvern Lv. 35", who uses some heavy damage spells, but is also not that hard to kill. With those two...weirdly generic bosses out of the way, we can fight the dungeon boss proper, a horse monster named Jahmi. Did we see this guy before? I can't remember. Anyway, he also has powerful multi-hit spells, and in addition we only do 1 damage at first. After a few turns, Bianca destroys Jahmi's shield, which she can do because she has the blood of the legendary hero. So, uh...yeah, the whole awkward pregnancy plot is starting to come into focus. I'm not happy about this, but it's about what I figured.
Once we beat Jahmi, he kinda turns both of us to stone, to prevent the legendary hero from being born. Joke's on him, I guess. Well, he's dead, but we're still stuck. A couple guys wander in to loot the tower, and steal both of our en-statued bodies. They sell me to some random guy, and keep Bianca. And then I get dropped in this guy's yard.
And then I just kinda chill there for eight years, apparently fully conscious.
So that sucks.
Apparently, many years after I was turned to stone, some bad stuff is going down, because monsters show up and kidnap this guy's kid. He takes his anger out on me, who is, I remind you, still a statue. I'll grant you, he's having a bad day, but I think I'm kinda the one with the short end of the stick here. Do you have any idea how long eight years is? I can't even ask him to put on a movie for me every once in a while, because they haven't been invented, and also I can't talk. Eventually, though, the Granvanian search party finally finds me, including the twins, who are now, well, eight year olds. Surprise surprise, Sammy can use the legendary equipment I'd collected earlier. And Lamira can cast magic, so that's pretty cool. I guess you become a badass at an incredibly young age in this universe.
Soon after, we're given another location to travel on our quest. Bianca is still missing, of course, and I don't even get a few days off to recover from having to stare at a fence for eight consecutive years.
So far, my life has kind of sucked, if I'm being perfectly honest with you.
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sombrz · 5 years
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Please imagine me just delivering these on a platter to ur sickbed: akira, minako, ochako, iida, (tries to think of a marvel comic person) uhh flash
thank you, thank you. who needs cough medicine when you have shipping.
(edit: i’m 99% healthy. it took me that long to finish this mess.)
AKIRA: okay, i think i remember telling you how i was pretty chill with akira ships. like, if done right, i don’t mind any of them, except for futaba (because they’re siblings, fu). besides our collective issues with atlus and their inability to not be weird when it comes to the girls. also, i feel like what makes the p5 kids feel the most like actual friends is also what makes it harder for me to fully invest in any individual dynamic - they all meet throughout the course of the game (even ann and ryuji aren’t close friends beforehand, and there’s definitely no drama between them) and they help each other heal and get past their abusers so that they can have a fresh start and feel free to be normal teenagers. so there’s little to actually grab onto when searching for….anything layered? like, compared to the p3 kids who have so much inner turmoil that they take out on each other - or the p4 kids, who can’t be completely truthful to themselves or each other. the p5 kids do have baggage, but not with each other. which makes for healthier bonds but also more boring ship dynamics lmao. all very cute and fluffy, but not a lot of substance. 
point is, i don’t really have much to say? like akira/yusuke is fun and silly. akira is eccentric and cool enough to go along with yusuke’s antics, and even though p5 always gives us an option to be mean, i can’t imagine akira ACTUALLY thinking that kind of stuff? like, he’s a weirdo too so he just. gets it. yusuke basically takes akira out on dates during his social link. they lend themselves well to model/artist headcanons and aus. they don’t realize they’re dating until a few months into their relationship - one of the others had to point it out and yusuke’s like ‘oh? is that what this is??’ and akira’s like ‘thank god’ bc he was too awkward to bring it up himself. futaba makes fun of them a lot.
akira and ryuji are cute too. i’ve gotten a bit fond of the boner squad (br)ot3 too. just ann/ryuji/akira being dumbasses. or ann/shiho+ryuji/akira being dumbasses while going on double dates. there’s also not really much to it - just the usual persona teen boy ‘no-homo-bromo-but-it’s-actually-homo’ fare. ryuji’s less possessive and repressed about it than yosuke is, though. which is good (ie more healthy) bc it’s more like akira found himself a human puppy jock boyfriend, and it’s cute! ryuji instantly decided he liked akira and started planning their secret handshake and selecting their cool delinquent hangout spot. and akira just smiles through it all bc he’s charmed. morgana gives akira the most judgemental stare ever when he finds out though. 
i like akira/haru bc she’s who i dated in my playthrough. they’re soft and sweet and i think a slow relationship built on patience is good for both of them. and they have the most obvious phantom thief couple aesthetic, tbh. they also have the ‘demure wallflower by day, trigger-happy hellion by night’ thing going on. i love the idea of them opening up a coffee place together (their futures align! this is the SO that sojiro approves the fastest lbr!) and akira being haru’s trophy husband (let this man be someone’s trophy husband).
akira/goro’s the one with the most depth lmao as our boy akechi gets the short end of the stick re: what everyone else got - to defeat their abuser and come out the other side a new and improved person. INSTEAD, it’s all about deep-rooted envy and what-ifs. when i replayed p5 for my friend’s benefit, she kept being like ‘wow ok akechi’s got….the most obvious crush on mc. why is he always here? why does he talk like that? omg?’ and my sentiments exactly. AKIRA’S thoughts exactly, tbh, bc what else is he supposed to get out of some of the things that come out of goro’s mouth. but it’s like….he DOES like akira, but he also resents his existence because akira gets to have real bonds and happiness despite the crappy hand dealt to him. and their own bond is based on careful lies and observing each other for any cracks in their armour. but there’s that undertone of wishing that they’d met in other circumstances, where they COULD have a normal relationship and get to know each other in a way that’s not ‘we levelled up our relationship when you shot me in the face with the intent of murdering me and framing me for my own death but really, i tricked you and you didn’t actually kill me & now we can defeat you and your dad! ha! checkmate!!’ but i love that that’s actually part of the dynamic so lmao.
MINAKO: you know, despite minako and minato being considerably different (both their external personality/appearances > emo boy/preppy girl  - and the changes in their dialogue choices > again, minako is a lot more confrontational and energetic), i pretty much just ship them with the same people?
the only exceptions of this being i ship minako with shinjiro and yukari but can’t really fathom either of them with minato. (it’s bc yukari is a lesbian and shinji does not deal well with sullen people. like, what’s he supposed to do? pat minato on the back?) 
i will also warn that it’s been….forever since p3 so i’m kinda fuzzy on details. 
anywhoooooo, AIGIS. main protag ship is aigis. idc which protag, but i must give atlus my once-in-a-blue-moon compliment because they kept aigis’ social link and her blatantly romantic feelings for the protag the exact same in portable. so minako/aigis is just as canon as minato/aigis, buahaha. anyway. robot girlfriend who starts off being somehow programmed to feel protective/indebted to minako but then starts developing real genuine feelings as she explores her humanity, minako wanting to show aigis how to enjoy herself while putting the emphasis on aigis’ feelings and opinions but also being so amazed and grateful for aigis’ love and attention. also, the difference between protags here being that while minato is silently intimate, minako is loudly loving. the utter tragedy that is aigis not being able to save the person she cares about, the imagery of minako’s head in her lap while they wait for the end is….A Lot. i think in a lot of tragic robot/human romance fiction, the robot gives up its life for their human partner so i like the reverse here - with aigis having to experience the emotions of loss and depression and overcoming that because she truly loved mina(k/t)o and now they’re gone. it’s heavy! it’s a lot! i just remembered i never finished the p3 movies! i should do that!
there’s ryouji. again, don’t care which protag - just like the idea of our mc flirting with death. literally flirting with the avatar of death. the double sides of the ship: goofy teenage flirting vs warning of impending doom. ryouji just being like ‘yeah just kill me it’s for the best i’m actually here to destroy the world or w/e’ to his gf (or bf) out of nowhere on christmas eve lmao. it’s fun, idk.
yukari! honestly, taking out all the forced hetero ship teasing made me ship her with minako more lmao their social link was just better! no offense! and their personalities mesh better too - i feel like yukari would get way too frustrated with a closed-off partner and i love concept of: the huffy takes-no-shits girl being soft for her cheerful outgoing gf. also, i spent way too long imagining the answer with minako - the aigis/minako/yukari would be heartwrenching and we deserve it. 
shinjiro! can i start off by saying it’s a good thing shinji was in p3, which did the best job of showing the characters apart from the protagonist and main plot (prob bc on the other hand, it did the worst job with social links seeing as none of the guys had them) - i feel like in p4 or p5, we wouldn’t have gotten to know him nearly as well before he died. anyway, his social link with minako is really sweet and a romance between them hits my ‘tsundere/flustered boy not knowing how to deal with affection from pretty girl he respects a lot’ checkpoints. and i need to talk about this: i feel like the decision to make him comatose instead of dead if you romance him was a double edged sword disguised as a blessing lol. because he was still DYING before he got shot, and also he wakes up just in time to find out his girlfriend died! fhdhfgdjd! 
                      —————————————————————– 
uraraka……okay: i ship her with tsuyu, bakugou, iida, mina and toga. 
oh, here’s a story. before i got into bnha, i stumbled on a bunch of deku/uraraka amvs and they were so precious. like, really, deku and ochako are the cutest goddamn things in this series. seeing them side by side makes me want to channel my inner grandmother and pinch their cheeks. it was, like, the only thing i knew about bnha at first, so i just figured i’d end up shipping it whenever i eventually got to watching it bc i’m easy to please like that. but ha. nah. it’s sad bc i love their dynamic when it’s focusing on their actual friendship but then the actual romantic hints made me want to roll my eyes so hard. it’s so BORING if you take it at face-value, and i’m so boggled by it if you look deeper bc i don’t understand what hori’s planning here. it’s irritating bc even uraraka admits that her borderline obsession (and that’s what it is, since it’s compared to TOGA’S CRUSHES…y’know, our resident yandere serial killer?) is detrimental to her growth as a hero. and i know it’s partially bc she’s a teenager but its blown so out of proportion. it’s a crush!! relax!!! like, compare to deku’s crush on uraraka where after he got over his initial anxiety of talking to girls, he - at most - just blushes a little when she stands too close or dresses extra-cute. every other time, he treats her no differently than any of his other friends. but then uraraka’s crush is treated like. this weirdly twisted admiration she doesn’t even WANT. she relates to a villain’s desire to imitate and become the person they like, she gets ridiculously jealous every time he looks at another girl, she keeps fucking up because she focuses too much on him and how to be like him. it’s weird. idk. typical fiction tropes lead me to believe i’m supposed to root for them to get together (and bnha will end with an epilogue where they have a child named after a food) but the story i’m being told makes me want to root for uraraka to succeed at getting over those feelings! idfk!!!
also, i have to laugh at the way horikoshi decided to tell us and uraraka herself that these feelings were romantic. by having aoyama just be like ‘oh you were thinking what would izuku midoriya do? could it be you love him?’ when we see multiple male friends of deku’s (iida and todo, in particular - hell, even aoyama himself) have similar WWMD thoughts and he, in turn, instantly imitates bakugou whenever he hits a roadblock (taking inspiration from to downright copying bakugou’s moves, trash talking his opponents, etc). am i supposed to see only uraraka’s feelings as romantic? why? because she’s a girl and deku’s a guy?
i like it better when iida’s involved. both iida and uraraka are so sweet and enthusiastic to counter deku’s more nervous personality, and they’re a very good trio! i tend to prefer them as a brot3 but as i said, i do ship iida/uraraka seperately! i don’t have any big reasons for it except i enjoy how contagiously energetic and silly they are around each other? dramatic too - remember the ‘REACH FOR MY HAND’ scene when all the UA students were freaking out? it’s just a simple best friend dynamic like what they have with deku but there’s no weird one-sided jealousy/competitiveness involved (luckily, iida got over it after the stain arc haha). they don’t end up feeling bad or unworthy of the praise they get from the other - which is great, because they’re very complimentary towards each other! iida is so understanding (his immediate reaction to uraraka being self-conscious about her reason for pursuing heroism) & uraraka is usually the one who vocalizes how cool and talented iida is (while also giggling her ass off whenever he gets all extra-dramatic)! tbh, curse their aborted moment after iida’s match with mei! let them praise each other!!! i like that their seats are so close to each other too - i wonder how horikoshi decided on the seating plan. but uraraka’s tendency to shake iida by the shoulders is precious & i bet you he breaks his staunch ‘follow-every-rule’ mentality when it comes to uraraka writing him little notes in class. also, maybe uraraka just deserves a sweet+rich boyfriend. it’s that easy. lmao.
i already talked about bakugou/uraraka. it’s great, dripping with potential, needs more canon interaction. i only trust a portion of its fanbase to do them properly. but this is the case for almost every big ship. (where’s that one fandom meme where one of the questions was like ‘what do you hate seeing in fanfic/content for them’ bc NOW THAT I’M ACTUALLY READING FANFIC AGAIN, LEMME TELL YOU. BEING A MULTISHIPPER IS HARD.)
tsuyu and uraraka are just genuinely a good match? i like the contrast between uraraka - who is emotional and upbeat - and tsuyu - who is calm and rational. but they’re both very perceptive? their first night at the dorms is a good indicator of how their dynamic works. the others are quick to accept that tsuyu doesn’t want to play along with the room competition, but uraraka both provides the excuse and lingers behind with worry. she probably had to convince tsuyu that it was okay for her to vocalize her feelings to the bakugou rescue squad, and volunteered to be with her during said confrontation. compare to the forest where tsuyu sweetly and calmly offers uraraka her hand because she sees her friend is scared, without actually needing to say anything else. they’re sweethearts. i absolutely adore them. oh, and i dig their earth/sky + pink/green aesthetic clash.
uraraka and mina are based on two things: 1) they’re always hugging and hanging out in official art/sketches (mina even has a selfie of them hanging on her wall of pics in her room) so i can only assume they’re super-close gal pals that should kiss, 2) i love shipping silly idiots together and it’s hard to find ships like this that are f/f but these two fit that specific chaotic mold!!! and 3) AESTHETIC DREAM!!! PINK SPACE GIRLS!!!! DO I NEED ANY OTHER REASONS? NO. NO, I DO NOT.
HOLY SHIT, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT’S OFFICIALLY CANON THAT TOGA HAS A ROMANTIC CRUSH ON URARAKA? again, i could write an essay on coding and how frustrating it is for characters like toga to usually be bi/pan. but no one’s claiming this a win for rep. and i’m FASCINATED by this dynamic. toga loves stain-sama for his ideals and how that enables her nature to kill. she loves deku-kun out of curiousity for his ideals and the fact they met when he was beaten to a pulp lmao. and she loves ochako-chan because she sees herself in her - she thinks that they share ideals. again, i have no idea what the long-term meaning for this development is but it’s clearly pitting them against each other? and adding a romantic element to that is hmmmmmmmmm. we’ll see, we’ll see. and like i mentioned above, it’s shocking and worrying and makes me ship uraraka and toga more that uraraka ALSO sees the similarity between her and toga. she’s horrified by the implications of it but she hears toga’s spiel and tries to fruitlessly deny that ‘yeah, she’s right. that’s how i am. we’re the same.’ if i were to ever write a traitor!uraraka fanfic (which i would if i could ever FINISH a writing project), it’d be uraraka/toga and uraraka trying to convince herself she’s better than toga, that she still has a moral code and her reasons for joining the league have more weight to it, and she doesn’t!!! care!!! what toga thinks of her!!! and expecting a rivalry but toga doesn’t meet that head-on because instead, toga wants to be close and connected to uraraka. toga has this kind of mature soft side we’ve seen before (with twice) that shows how she can see you at your core (her fight w/ uraraka also showed that) and i want to see uraraka to be on the end when she thinks she doesn’t deserve it and doesn’t trust toga and just being frustrated and confused over it all.
                        —————————————————————– 
iida…….i think deku, todoroki, uraraka and aoyama are my biggest ships for him. also, i don’t ship it myself but momo/iida/todoroki’s rich kid squad is A REALLY FUN DYNAMIC AND OT3.
LET’S BE REAL: IIDA/DEKU IS SO UNDERAPPRECIATED IN THIS FANDOM. ALL IIDA SHIPS ARE BUT….IIDA/DEKU. iida’s goddamn….tucked deku into bed. threw his hat in the ring of rivals. there’s official art of iida giving deku a shoulder ride. he punched him to make him see how his actions are affecting him - “haven’t you thought about how *I* feel [about you putting yourself in peril]?!” like. bro. okaaaay. i still laugh that they got on the wrong foot initially - deku was so scared of iida sjfhhf like he was equally worried he’d be stuck in the same class as iida as he was about kacchan. thankfully, iida’s a sweetheart who cares with all his heart, and he sees all that there is to admire about deku, so they became instant friends after that. and iida means SO MUCH to deku. i pay a lot of attention to how future!deku talks in his narration, because he normally interrupts the narrative to move the story along - by talking about minor time skips, the movement of the villains, etc. but he also tends to wax a bit poetic about his friends. like when he interrupted everything to give us a side-story about how and aoyama became bffs. so we can assume that aoyama’s friendship means a lot to adult izuku. or how comforting and important it is to me that even as an adult, he refuses to stop calling bakugou ‘kacchan’. it’s sweet. in that same vein, it strikes me that deku still holds an amount of guilt for not supporting iida better during the whole ingenium-stain debacle. it ended….much better than it could have, and that experience was what strengthened iida/deku/todo’s relationship. yet as an adult, deku still wishes he could have done more. offered iida the help he needed before he went rushing in. hoo. but anyway, yeah, they’re cute! wholesome nerd boys! cute height difference! also yeah, i’m glad that iida got over his sports-festival-era feelings of inferiority towards deku. deku loves competition, but you can tell that he didn’t want that out of his relationship with iida (compare to how he outright covets a rivalry with bakugou and accepted it from todoroki w/ his head held high). it wasn’t based on healthy feelings and they’re so much better as supportive bfs.
iida and todoroki have a lot of stuff in common as legacy heroes who were trained from childhood to be heroes - with the major difference that todoroki faced horrifying abuse that prevented him from having a close relationship with his siblings and made him want to reject his legacy, while the iidas are good folk and iida’s brother means the world to him and he’s so far one of the only heroes we know to reuse a superhero identity based on legacy. and even the painful bullshit (like the ‘take out your muffler and a new, stronger one will grow in’ thing) was something that iida went through on his own accord and with warning. and todoroki’s words of encouragement during the stain arc were based on his own life lesson! they both come off as very serious and abrasive elites at first glance, but they’re actually dorky and socially awkward! but i think they get each other - i imagine they have a very calming friendship, no need for pretenses and judgement, and they deserve that! they probably think the other is hilarious too even though absolutely no one else gets the joke! they had a lot of cute moments recently since they were paired in the same 1A vs 1B match. like iida can just…tell the minute differences in todoroki’s expression and demeanour apart and knows when there’s something wrong. and they’re just so humble and sweet and can’t handle the other being self-deprecating. they’re good boys, brent.
already talked about iida/uraraka. they’re cute, i love them.
AOYAMA THOUGH. knight boys! they were so good during the exam! it really got me that aoyama didn’t even consider the idea that iida might not abandon him, might want to help him and win together instead of just use him to get ahead himself - and iida didn’t even really get the emotional realization aoyama went through there but he was still like ‘YEAH WE DID GOOD! I’M GLAD YOU FEEL BETTER! THUMBS UP! :D’ they’re both very dramatic and - i don’t know how to describe it….they pose a lot, talk with their limbs. they’re silly, is what i mean. and maybe aoyama ALSO deserves a loving, rich boyfriend. MAYBE IIDA SHOULD BE EVERYONE’S LOVING RICH BOYFRIEND. but in this case, aoyama’s boyfriend who will carry him bridal-style everywhere, much to aoyama’s glee lol. except when he’s dragging him along via his cape. whatever works.
also, side note, i find it kinda interesting that fandom pairs him up with girls like mei and camie - when i just….feel like he’d be so out of his element and sooo overwhelmed? i’m wincing just thinking about it lol poor iida.
                        —————————————————————–
i’m glad you specified marvel bc if you’d just said ‘comic’, i would have assumed you meant THE flash and i would be forced to sit here and think of every dc speedster ship…..well, it wouldn’t be as bad as spidey ships (honestly i’m very basic with speedsters - it’s just like ‘speedster/their spouse’ with the adults (even wally - linda or bust, tbh) and ‘speedster/their best friends’ with the teens), but we’d be here longer. 
BUT FLASH THOMPSON? i already mentioned my two big ones, with venom and peter but i’m def willing to talk more about them.
 flash/venom, a man and his gooey alien husband. i love that it’s a relationship based on self-growth and healing from past hurt and stopping destructive habits and cycles (both that cause self-harm and harm onto others). one of my favourite panels is still where flash pleads with peter to not let his anger seep into venom because venom’s gotten past all that. he’s a better person (being. alien. thing.) now and doesn’t want to turn to feeding on rage ever again. and that’s true for flash (a victim of child abuse who bottled up all that sadness and rage and took his aggression out on other kids) as well. it’s just so….nice. and venom credits all this to flash. and a thing i find about venom is that its unhealthy dynamics are all about control - you’re just its host, it possesses you against your will, you become an out-of-control villain. but with flash, venom sees a partner and home - they need and belong with each other, they communicate and cooperate, they became a superhero. also i love how they’re seriously affectionate and intimate - that’s just kind of a given with venom, i think, because you have to invite & accept it as part of yourself. but flash is so soft with venom - while he’s not as….hm, vocal about it as eddie ‘ooh my love my darling~’ brock is (he’s also a bit less obsessive haha sorry eddie), he’s so protective and likes giving venom headscratches and kissy faces to the point others react to it like they would witnessing PDA. i just want flash to be all cute and smooch his husband when they’re not like. one singular entity. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE HEALTHIEST DYNAMIC FOR FLASH TO BE IN IS WITH A SYMBIOTIC ALIEN GOO CREATURE? I CAN. AND I’M THANKFUL FOR IT.
 i also ot3 them with eddie for the sake of my peace of mind where everyone’s happy. where venom’s not torn between two loves, and eddie doesn’t feel the need to think things like ‘it’s tough being someone’s second best’ and ‘i’d like to think he’d do the same for me but part of me knows that would be a lie. it’ll always be flash.’ and having those thoughts because he literally FEELS that pull towards flash? like he inherited those feelings, he KNOWS what it’s like to love flash thompson. LIKE, YO????? GIVE ME THAT SYMBIOT3.
then there’s flash/peter, the funniest super/civvie id love triangle in the world. flash having the biggest hero crush on spider-man in high school - so many superheroes to choose from but spidey is the best, because he’s an underdog, because he gets pushed down and refuses to give up, because he’s SO GODDAMN COOL - while simultaneously thinking peter is frankly, the worst? but in that terrible way where he fixates on peter even when he’s not part of the conversation. waiting for him to leave school so he can be mean to him, feeling frustrated whenever he tries to be nice to the guy and peter either ignores, rejects or insults him in return. peter just being like ‘Sigh’ whenever flash insults him by gushing about spidey, but that’s also why he can’t dislike flash no matter how bad their relationship is. how can he hate spidey’s biggest fan? and also he probably gets a good amount of pleasure out of flash’s gf liz allen having a crush on him. peter also does this to johnny and his gf, dorrie evans - they’re frienemies in high school and kind of obsessed with each other,,,,’heRE’S MY LIST OF 500 REASONS WHY I HATE THE HUMAN TORCH’ OK PETE RELAX. so yeah, peter, despite having genuine feelings for betty brant, hits on liz and dorrie whenever they cross paths and lets them use him to make their hot blond boyfriends jealous. (peter, maybe you ARE the worst. stop it.) and then when they get to college and end up in the same friend group, flash slowly realizes that peter is like. hot now? and like, kind of a cool dude who went through a lot! like, he thought peter was a jerk in HS but he’s actually really nice when he wants to be and is always in your corner! ‘wow, i really like and respect pete! i’m proud to be his friend!’ flash thinks while staring at peter’s biceps. meanwhile, peter has no idea what’s going on because he keeps expecting flash to turn back into a dick (and steal one of his girlfriends lmao) but instead, he just keeps proving he’s a great guy! and keeps confiding in him! and uh, complimenting him a lot? and still fanboys over spidey and that’s really endearing! and oh, he’s really gonna miss him whenever he’s on tour and the idea of flash dying is unthinkable and he really likes being his roommate and he’s who he wants to be his best man and he doesn’t get why flash doesn’t seem to realize how great he is, and welp, he just punched captain america in the face for not telling him flash was agent venom. anyway, bottom line: i like dynamics that are very….long-term and constantly changing? so i tend to fall for the enemies/rivals to friends to lovers thing. or friends to enemies to lovers. but this is a former situation for sure.
also, i’m convinced every corner of the college crew pentagon happened. flash and harry MUST have at least made out once and neither was sure how to deal with the aftermath of that for a couple of months. he’s kissed and casually dated gwen AND mj - but i find it interesting that it seems like neither girl really ever considered him a contender. gwen cares about him but sees him as a shoulder to vent to about her issues with peter, and mj has a lot of fun with him but also considers him the male version of her (outgoing and bright but unwilling to commit and act serious). and he interestingly backs down quickly when peter decides to make a move on the girls. like, compared to his love triangle with liz and peter where i feel he was pretty resistant to letting her go - especially to someone like puny parker, he responds to peter’s accusations re: gwen and mj with ‘hey, relax. it’s not like that. i wouldn’t do that to you.’ i take it as him growing up and not feeling the need to overcompensate to impress his dad and also maybe the fact that he’s a bit more aware of how closeted he is. but it’s weirdly different with harry (*cough* cause it’s the first dude aside from peter he had any romantic interaction with *cough*) so he just……..dances around those feelings (on top of both of their feelings for peter) until harry starts dating liz (BECAUSE EVERYONE DATES EVERYONE IN PETER’S CIRCLE OF PALS, I GUESS) and he’s just like ‘???????????? well okay then’.
i like his dynamic with felicia as much it also pains me - that felicia went into it thinking she could use flash to hurt peter (’i’ll break your heart like he broke mine!’) but then ended up legitimately falling for him and started hoping for a normal life with him. also that they liked hanging out in terrible workout clothes. nerds. (alas, it didn’t last bc….FLASH, BUD….BUDDY….I CAN’T BELIEVE MARVEL HAD FLASH SAY THAT AND THEN PROBABLY SAT BACK AND THOUGHT ‘YUP PETE’S BEST BUD FLASH IS TOTALLY STR8′) and i need to read more of him and betty to get a handle of that but. what i’ve gotten from the panels i’ve seen that it’s very dependant on the writer and has the same problem flash’s relationships with liz, gwen, mj and felicia had where there’s a lot of love there but the actual romantic element is….lacking? falls short? fizzles out? where he seeks out a connection to peter(/spidey) through his romantic relationship with a woman peter used to be involved with and pushes said woman away when she starts getting in too deep?
anyway, that just turned into an essay about how flash thompson has been gay since his conception and only like, 20% (maybe less) of writers in charge of writing him have actually realized it.
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The Son Of Scheherazade, 25
Notes: As always, thanks to my wonderful editors, Drucilla and BlueShifted!
This was a tough one, guys. Sort of a "make it up as I go along" deal, with my editors suggesting big rewrites. As a result, I'm not 100% confident about it, but in the end it's just a fanfic, and you guys have been patient enough. More importantly, we're getting closer to the big confrontation and finale!
Summary: When the curtain rises, it's Mickey versus Mortimer - or is really Mickey versus himself? Can he protect what's dearest to him, and find out what it means to really be free?
There were a great number of bad things happening all at once, and Mickey had no idea how to handle it. Perhaps if it was merely one or two bad situations, his clever mind would have found a solution, but here and now with all of this? The exact opposite happened – his brain short-circuited, leaving him without words and without thought. Minnie, at least, could think and speak, but it wasn't going to solve everything that was happening. “What,” she finally spoke up, in shaky disbelief, “are you doing here?”
Mortimer had changed greatly since last they saw him, and given that they'd destroyed his thieving livelihood and outed him as a criminal, this wasn't terribly surprising. His once proud showman clothing was now replaced with stitched-together rags and shoes too small for his huge feet. There were bags under his eyes, the eyes themselves were sunken in, and while he was already rail-thin to begin with, he appeared to be even thinner now, as if all it would take was a gentle breeze to send him to the ground. Yet despite looking like yesterday's trash, he had the confidence of a sultan, with a glitter to his eyes and a proud stance to his walk. He now sported a long black cane, not for an ailing back but for ailing showmanship. He eyed the two, eyed the carpet, eyed the crowd, and then turned around, bowing dramatically.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” he announced, his voice as grating and booming as it had been so long ago. “I hope you've all enjoyed the show! This is but a mere glimpse into the future, a sneak peek of what I, Mortimer the Magnificent, will bring to the stage!”
The crowd broke into wondering applause, praising the act, with some naysayers saying they could “totally see the strings holding the carpet up.” Some eager patrons tossed coins at Mortimer's feet, and he quickly scooped them up before clearing his throat. “Now, if you'll excuse us, my actors and I need to rehearse the next performance.” He then cast a dirty smirk back at Mickey and Minnie. “Isn't that right?”
Mickey's mouth finally closed, and he bit down hard on his lower lip. Awful as Mortimer was, one couldn't say he didn't know how to win an audience. Mickey and Minnie were just shouting about genies and wishes – if they thought what happened was real, they might break into a frenzy to grab the lamp for themselves, not to mention Pluto still wasn't safely returned. He glanced at Minnie, who was so angry at both men that parts of her face were turning red. There would be no time to explain Mickey's words before he fell. With a hard, bitter sigh, he grumbled, “Yes, Mortimer.” Maybe in the time they were apart, Mortimer learned a trace of humility or kindness.
Mortimer put a hand to his ear. “What was that?”
Nope, he was still a jerk in every way possible. “Yes, sir.” Boy, if there was a time to test controlling Mickey's anger... Mickey shook his head and turned to his flying carpet – which now was flopped on the ground as ordinary as ever. Grateful for small miracles, Mickey rolled up the carpet and held it in his arms.
Mortimer twirled the cane in his hands before starting to walk, giving little waves to the adoring crowd and promising them a bigger and better show next time. Mickey and Minnie followed behind, with Mickey whispering, “How much you wanna bet Daisy knew he was here and thought this would be funny?” But this got no reply. Minnie was glaring daggers at Mortimer's back, but the fact that she wouldn't even look at Mickey said he wasn't the only one she was furious at. This was going to be a long day. Mickey gulped, and kept quiet for the rest of the walk.
Mortimer himself said nothing until they approached a dilapidated shack that reeked of dead fish, though given the town's main source of food and money, he at least couldn't be blamed for that. But when he opened the door and the smell somehow got worse, they found it much easier to blame him. It might have been a store once upon a time, given the large empty shelves and scattered tables and broken chairs, and a weirdly placed door on the floor. But Mickey ignored all of this, as there in the center of the room stood the three beagle bandits, along with the pup they'd stolen. “Pluto!”
Mortimer snapped his fingers, closing the door. “Gentlemen, release the hound, if you would.”
“Whatever you say, boss,” said the tallest one, with muscles so big they threatened to rip out of his rags. They dropped Pluto to the floor, and he instantly sprinted towards his master, licking his face in gratitude.
Mickey let the carpet drop, and hugged his pet tightly. “Aw, Pluto, I'm glad you're okay...” But this joy was short-lived, and he glowered at Mortimer. “Wait a minute, these crooks work for you?”
“They're my associates,” Mortimer corrected, strolling up to the smallest table in the room. “They provide the brawn, I provide the brains. Ever since our little mishap, when my assistant quit on me...”
“When Mickey took the lamp,” Minnie said, her words dark and deep. Minnie was startled at her tone of voice – he hadn't seen her this angry since the incident with the Imp.
“Tomato, tamata.” Mortimer waved a hand, taking a seat. One beagle took out a cigar, the second lit it, and the third popped it into Mortimer's mouth. “It hasn't been easy to pull myself back up. It's rather difficult to do a magic act without magic. But, I am a man of opportunity! I decided to take my one-man show and make it an ensemble.”
Mickey understood fairly easily. “Instead of making Minnie steal for you, you get these guys to do it.”
“I'd like to think of more as... temporary acquisition with the intention of redistributing for differential profit.”
“Using big words doesn't change what you're doing!” Minnie barked, hands on her hips. “Whatever scheme you're planning, we won't be a part of it!”
Mortimer puffed on his cigar briefly, eyebrow raised. “Huh... you weren't nearly as mouthy when you were working for me. Seems we've both changed since we last saw each other.” He tapped his fingers on the table, his brain already scheming and plotting.
“Yeah, she's become stronger and better and wiser and more independent,” Mickey said proudly, “And you've gotten even slimier.” He hoped that would ease some of Minnie's anger, but it didn't even crack a smile. He'd clearly messed up big time.
“That's some gratitude from the man who saved your skins.” Mortimer pointed at them with his lit cigar. “I could have let the crowd rip you apart to get their hands on our little lady, or have you already forgotten what happened when you stole her from me?” At this point Mickey and Minnie mutually decided that correcting him was pointless, as he was determined to see things only from his point of view. “I'd say you owe me. In fact, it's what I'm saying right now.”
“Uh-uh, no way.” Mickey crossed his arms. “If you think we'd help you rob anyone, you've lost your mind. We're here for a very important mission, and we don't have time to waste with criminals! Minnie, Pluto, let's get out of here and meet back at the ship.”
But just as Mickey touched the doorknob, Mortimer said, “I suppose that mission might become more difficult if I told the town the truth?”
Mickey stood still, eyes almost popping out of their sockets. Yes, looking for a single scrap of paper in this town would probably become much more difficult if they were constantly being chased by a greedy mob. “You... you... you...” He couldn't even come up with a decent insult, he was so shaken. He looked to Minnie for help, but she was now putting the majority of her wrath on him, and he darn well knew why – he could merely wish for the last piece, and he'd have it in his hands, then they could flee the town. There was nothing preventing him from doing it right now – save for Mickey's emotional baggage.
With every passing second that he didn't do this, Minnie got angrier and angrier, until she finally stomped hard on the wooden floor. “You're such an idiot!” she yelled, but instead of slapping him again, there was a puff of pink smoke, and she was gone, retreating back into the security of the lamp.
“Minnie!” Mickey held up the lamp, upset and helpless. “C-C'mon, don't be like that! I'm sorry, I can explain...” But this was not really the time or place to do it. The Beagles quietly clapped, perhaps mystified by the magic without knowing if it was real or not. Mortimer was probably not the type to hire anybody smarter than himself. Mickey swallowed, and then looked up at his captor. “I... I meant what I said. I am not going to steal for you.”
“Now now, whoever said you'd be stealing for me?” Mortimer mused, entertained by the break-up before him. “I bet you'd be pretty lousy at it anyway, bleeding heart and all. I just want you to be my assistant at my next show tonight. You'll just be handing me my props, and telling the crowd how great I am, maybe some groveling and worshiping at my magnificence. And serve as my footstool. And get my refreshments.”
“Not the tiniest bit bitter how you ended up, are you?”
“Not in the slightest.” Mortimer dragged out a long spew of smoke. Jose was always courteous to do small puffs and keep the smog out of his friend's faces, but Mortimer exhaled right in Mickey's direction. “One show, and then you're on your way back home. We have a deal?”
Mickey looked at the lamp, looked at the carpet, looked at Pluto – who was whining and shaking his head no – and then looked at Mortimer. He'd been fairly naive when he first met Mortimer, but now Mickey had been through many adventures, faced many villains, and knew the world wasn't as fair as anyone wished it to be. He didn't have a single doubt that Mortimer was planning something, and if by some golden chance Mortimer was telling the truth and he was free to go, Mickey's conscience couldn't let Mortimer and his “friends” continue stealing from the town. If Mortimer hadn't learned his lesson the first time, it was Mickey's responsibility to teach him again.
And how much of it was avoiding a dreadful conversation with Minnie about feelings he wasn't ready to handle? More than he cared to admit.
“All right. You've got a deal.” Mickey held out his hand, and Mortimer stood up to shake it, both men convinced by the time the last trick was played, they'd be the victor.
~*~
The rest of the crew was having a much more pleasant time, although compared to what Mickey and Minnie had been through, almost anything could've been an improvement. Donald had taken up the outskirts of the town, where businesses made their living aiding wandering travelers. He wasn't having much luck in finding the last piece, but the people he talked to were friendly, the weather was peaceful, and his mood was calm, so why worry? They'd find it sooner or later. The question he meant to ask Mickey was still on his mind, but it was in a far away place, only visited when he wondered if Mickey was having any success, be it with the date or finding the piece.
He turned a corner, ready to start a new branch of investigating, when he spotted Daisy sitting on a rickety wooden chair, sipping an expensive drink, and flipping through a book, using her snake as a bookmark. Donald suspected, correctly, that Daisy had conned her way into getting all three. He rolled his eyes and then walked towards her, sticking his finger in the book and lightly pulling it back. “What do you think you're doing?”
“Reading one thousand and one ways to please your man,” Daisy quipped, enjoying the scarlet hue in Donald's cheeks. “Kidding. Mostly.”
Donald decided his fragile heart wasn't ready to ask further on that. “I mean, why aren't you helping us locate the last piece of the map? Spell? Map spell?”
“I outsourced the job,” Daisy replied, jabbing her thumb to a rabble of small children who were now eagerly searching under every rock, pile of garbage, and alleyway to find a lost treasure. “I told them whoever finds that piece for me will get my kingdom's worth of gold.”
“You don't have a kingdom.”
“And thus, they won't get any gold, fiddle de dee.”
Donald took a minute to ask himself why he cared so deeply about this terrible woman, before remembering that he really had no say in who he liked. “Okay, it would be easier to get more help... not that I really approve of lying to children... but what if we tried a more honest approach on a bigger scale?”
“Eh.” Daisy leaned back into her chair, resuming her read. “What's the hurry? If Mickey's right that the Phantom Prince's own power is killing himself, maybe we can just wait it out and the big bad will die before we have to do anything.” She flipped the page, and the snake followed along.
“Or, he could hurt or kill Mickey's parents before we get there,” Donald growled, a few sparks of lightning appearing his head. “Do you really want to take that gamble?” Or was she just messing with him, as was her favorite hobby? An idea came to him then, a sudden and rather powerful one, and one he probably couldn't have pulled off before the Cave of Wants.
Daisy gave a little laugh. “You do know how I love a good gamble, and-” Any lies, deceit and manipulation were dismissed when Donald tugged the book away, so he could kiss her on the beak. A few of the nearby children squealed their disgust, and Daisy was so stunned she dropped the book, her snake bouncing off just in time. When Donald pulled back, he rather enjoyed the shocked, flustered look on Daisy's face that typically would have been on his. The tables had turned.
“I know you're going to keep up the lies and tricks,” Donald said, still blushing but having a bit more and confidence over his beating heart this time around. “So, the way I see it, if I cut you off before you lie and trick, everything works out for the best.”
Daisy, she of pulling other people's strings and making games out of lives, had never been so thoroughly trounced before. “You... you really think you can keep that up?”
Donald leaned in, one eyebrow up. “Care to try me, fiddle de dee?”
Yes, yes she did, boy did she ever want to try. Naturally at this inopportune time, one of the smaller children skipped up to the ducks, tugging on Daisy's sleeve. “Miss?”
“This had better be the most important information in the world,” Daisy said without breaking her eyes off Donald's intense gaze.
“I was just wondering, can we stop looking when it's time for the magic show?”
The love spell was broken temporarily, as both ducks now had enough worldly wisdom to know that whenever there was magic, trouble wasn't far behind. “What magic show?” Donald asked, hoping that for once magic might lead to something new and not life-threatening. He could already hear Horace crying out “I CALLED IT!” in his head.
“There's going to be a big magic show tonight,” the child answered, smiling brightly. “Everyone wants to go see Mortimer the Magnificent!”
Donald stared at the child, then slowly turned his eyes toward Daisy, who shrugged innocently. “If I said I didn't know, would you believe me?” She then gave the kid an affectionate ruffle of his hair. “Sure, go see the show, have fun.” With a giddy giggle, the child skipped off to tell his friends.
Donald ran a hand down his face, feeling stress build in every bone in his body. “We have to find Mickey and Minnie and warn them. From what they've told us about that guy, he can't possibly be up to any good. Let's just hope he doesn't know anything about the last piece, or we could all be in serious trouble.”
Daisy closed her eyes, using her Eye to locate her pals, and when she opened them, she stifled a chuckle under her hand. “About that... trouble's already found them, looks like.” Before Donald could form a plan, Daisy held up her finger. “Hang on. Let's go round up the others...but we'll watch the show.”
“What?!” Donald balked, a hand to his chest. “Why would we do that? And your first reason better not be 'because it'll be funny'.”
“Don't be so callous, Donald. That's my second reason.”
~*~
A stage had been set up in the middle of the small town, crudely constructed as if it were made by someone for the first time who pretty much had no idea what they were doing – Mickey accurately guessed that the Beagles had created it, with Mortimer using his silver tongue to convince them he shouldn't do a lick of work. Props, pulleys and mirrors were set up behind the curtains for the upcoming illusions, and Mickey helped move this and that to eavesdrop on conversation between the thieves. While Mortimer dazzled the crowd with his works, the Beagles would ransack the empty homes, and hide their loot in the trapdoor under Mortimer's not-quite-house. But every once in a while as Mickey made the final adjustments, he could feel the prying eye of a Beagle on the lamp.
Even if they didn't wholly believe in real magic themselves, curiosity was a dangerous pull. Mickey wasn't surprised, and in fact counted on this greed. He had sent Pluto away to find the others, warn them if he could. The sun was starting to set, and a crowd began to gather. Mortimer strolled up, dressed to the nines, humming a made-up show-tune as he inspected each of his props. “Looks like I'm ready to go!” He snapped his fingers. “Assistant, I'm parched.”
“Pain in the butt, is what you are,” Mickey muttered under his breath, taking a jug of water and a cup off one of the tables to pour Mortimer a drink.
Mortimer grabbed the cup and downed it in one gulp. “Now, don't forget to smile! Every audience loves a smile. It won't be a long show, but then again, they might ask for an encore. So, show those pearly whites!”
The only way Mickey could even fathom smiling at the moment was by picturing Mortimer falling off the stage and into a suddenly sprouted field of cacti. “I don't think anyone wants to see that smile.”
Mortimer tsked, approaching the closed curtain, the murmurs of the crowd breaking through. “Must we be so uncivilized to one another? Sure, we've had our differences...”
“You enslaved a girl and abused her in order to make money.” Mickey's voice couldn't be dryer if he was deprived of liquids for seven days and seven nights.
“...But that was then, and this is now.” Mortimer paused, as his goons slid out to do his bidding. “Oh, boy... you don't think we're that different, do you? You can't con a con.”
“I am nothing like you!” Mickey said sharply, fists clenched. “You didn't care that you were causing Minnie pain, you treated her like a slave! Nobody deserves that! She's not a tool for people to use, she's a person, and she should be free!”
“Can't help but notice that she's still in the lamp,” Mortimer said as he popped out a frilly ruffle on his collar.
Mickey inhaled sharply. “You have no idea what I've been through and what I need. The way things are with her and me, and the way they were with her and you... they're totally different!”
“Okay, so they're different,” Mortimer admitted, but before he parted the curtain, he cast his assistant a devious smirk, his buck-teeth glittering in candlelight. “But does that make it better?”
Time can stand still for people for many reasons. Falling in love, being told sad news, or in Mickey's case, being metaphorically punched so hard in the stomach he could taste his intestines. He staggered, nearly losing the strength in his legs. Mortimer kept Minnie in the lamp out of greed, and Mickey did the same out of love, so – so – so – no, it wasn't any better. He had been so reluctant to use wishes and become yet another wicked master that he had simply locked Minnie away in a different cage. It had been just as Donald warned about their potential future – Mickey had never actually asked Minnie about this, gotten her opinion, as he was so consumed with what he was sure was love and faith that he didn't even question what he was doing was right. He didn't want to let her go – but he had pushed her away.
Mortimer was announcing himself to the crowd, getting applause and cheers. Mickey's body moved without his mind acknowledging it, standing rigidly next to Mortimer as his brain continued to unravel. He had tried to protect her without asking if she wanted to be protected. He had stripped her of the only unique power she had, taken away her ability to help those she cared for. Mortimer was saying something about how great he was and how Mickey begged to help out, and Mickey barely heard him. He also failed to register his friends in the crowd, who were startled at the haunting look on the prince's face.
Mickey's self-loathing spiraled deeper and deeper,  forgetting all about the plan he had tried to set up to expose Mortimer and get away scot-free. He moved methodically as Mortimer went through his tricks, making a box vanish, pulling vermin out of a hat, guessing cards, all quite routine. He should have just been content to be the Son of Scheherazade, as the real him only made things worse. Even when he tried to do good, he did bad. He didn't deserve Minnie. He didn't deserve to be alive.
“Now, for my next trick, I'll need a simple piece of cloth, like a belt! Assistant, if you would so kindly...” Mortimer leaned behind Mickey, reaching over –
Mickey's hand lashed out before his mind acknowledged it, and he was gripping Mortimer's wrist, seconds before it had touched the lamp. Their eyes met, and Mickey understood that this magician intended not to just make magic, but steal it. Mortimer snarled, but kept on a showman's smile. “Why so jumpy, pal? All I'm asking for is a little help!” He then lashed out with his other hand -
Mickey pulled his hand back, then turned, twisted, not intending to break any bones but give his attacker enough time to regret his actions – a technique he'd learned from Horace, having spent many a night under his and Clarabelle's tutelage – before making a run and getting some distance between them. “Here I thought Mortimer the Magnificent was too' magnificent' to need anybody's help!” He heard laughter from the audience – they assumed this was part of a gag, and were better off for it. Maybe Mickey wasn't the best person to have the lamp, but Mortimer was surely no better! This was a new game and a new gamble – Mortimer was after the lamp, but if he exposed its true nature, he'd be in the same trouble he had just threatened Mickey with. Mickey couldn't tell if this was clever manipulation or greedy stupidity.
“Every great act needs a few stepping stones!” Mortimer rubbed his sore wrist, wondering when the kid got so strong. When he'd last seen Mickey in that run-down town, the boy was scrawny and didn't even know how to hold a sword. Where did the muscle come from? “After all, when I'm around, people say they can feel the very earth tremble beneath them!” He twirled his cane around before slamming it to the ground, making the stage itself begin to shake – in reality, it was several trap doors beginning to open. He expected his opponent to yelp, flail, and drop below.
But muscle wasn't the only thing Mickey had gained in his time. His eyes darted about, and then he jumped backward – once, twice, backflipping, techniques he'd gained by training alongside Clarabelle, until he landed on the prop table, though he nearly lost his balance once or twice. “Can't say I know the feeling! Maybe instead of being on the ground, you've got your head in the clouds!”
Only Mortimer's shock kept him from losing his temper. Mickey had yet to realize himself how much he'd changed, but it was apparent to Mortimer, who had only planned to trick a slow, weak kid, not a quick-thinking athlete. Swallowing a growl, he avoided his own traps and grabbed the table by the edge. “If you'd just do what I asked, you'd be on cloud nine!” This was a trick table, after all, and it took one hard push to make it start spinning around. This time Mickey was caught off guard,  struggling to keep his balance, understanding here and now that Mortimer wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted. Mortimer spun his cane around, trying to jab Mickey and snatch the lamp in one blow – only to be met with Mickey's sword, and more surprising still, to be met in even combat with it, each blow parried, even when Mickey's back had been turned. After all, clumsy as Goofy was, this was his finest skill, and he'd taken great strain to show Mickey how to protect himself.
Mickey found feel the table beginning to slow down, and as Daisy had shown him time and time again, a distraction was his best bet. If he remembered the trick right... “Maybe I'll take your advice, Mortimer, and just take flight!” With one foot, he slid open a secret compartment, unleashing half-a-dozen doves that quickly flapped around in all directions, knocking the older man over onto his back. When Mortimer could finally see past feathers, Mickey was gone, having run off in the other direction of the stage. If he could just get out of here, maybe think like Donald and use the environment to his advantage -
But that's when he saw the applauding audience at the end of the stage, and his heart sank. He was still stuck. If he dared to step off the stage, Mortimer would reveal the truth. But if he stayed with the act, Mortimer wouldn't relent until the lamp was his again. Why hadn't Mickey seen this earlier? Why was he always so sure he was right? Why hadn't he just done as Minnie begged? Why, why, why was he always so stupid? He was going to lose her – he was going to lose everything!
By this time, Mortimer had gotten back to his feet, the trapdoors closed and the table set straight. He lightly clapped, enjoying the look of agony on Mickey's face. “What's the matter, assistant? A case of stage fright? Happens to the best of us... if only you could wish it all away.” Twisting that knife in was extra fun. He had more than enough tricks to play, and it was only a matter of time before Mickey's mind and body gave out. The lamp would be his again, just so long as he pressed the right buttons. Sure, the kid had changed on the outside – but inside, he was still that weak little coward who couldn't do anything on his own. “Now, your little act has given me a great idea of how next to wow my audience... if you'd so nicely put your sword away before you hurt anyone...” Once again, Mortimer knew just the right wounds to open. Mickey shakily returned his blade to its scabbard, his eyes swimming.
What was he going to do? No matter what, Minnie would suffer, and it was all his fault. Why couldn't he do anything right? Why did he even bother leaving the palace? He'd been nothing but a spoiled, worthless, cruel master, just as all of Minnie's other masters had been. He was worthless.
“And for my next trick,” Mortimer announced, pushing a thin box on wheels to the stage, “I will defy the mystic wonders of the afterlife, and possess the powers that only the gods can attest to!”
No worth, no life, no love, he was nothing nothing nothing -
“My assistant will climb into this box.” Mortimer opened up the top, and pulled out a sharp saw. “And I will cut him in half! No need to be squeamish, he'll make it... probably.” He winked to the crowd, and they enjoyed the joke.
Mickey swallowed, automatically turning to the box, raising his foot, ready to crawl in, stupid, worthless, hopeless boy -
And then he felt a piece of popcorn bop his nose. He blinked once, twice, and then heard the owner of the treat call out, “Boooring! C'mon, let's see some real magic!”
Mortimer spun around, surprised and angry. “Hey! Who said that? … And where did you get popcorn in a fishing town?!”
Clarabelle lightly tossed another piece of popcorn up and down in her hand, her eyes on Mickey but her voice on Mortimer. “You call this magic? This one's so obvious. You've got a fake set of legs in the second part of the box.”
Mortimer's mouth dropped, and he fumbled to put the saw back inside. “I... I can assure you, there's nothing like that, if you can just wait a minute...” “And that last trick?” There went Daisy scoffing, as she stood in front of the crowd. “Anyone else see the hidden panel under the table? That's where the doves came from, obviously. Where's the real material?”
Mortimer scrambled to push the table with said panel away from the stage. “Hold on a second! That was just... you were seeing things!”
“Jose, wonder and hope in all things eternal,” Panchito crooned, strumming his guitar, “I only wish we could see some real magic, aside from the sparks in your eyes.”
“Panchito, whose radiance is envied by the sun and moon both.” Jose lazily put an arm around his friend's shoulder. “I'm afraid the only miracle we'll see tonight, is if this bum can actually entertain us.”
The crowd begun to whisper about, getting very disappointed by the reveals they were hearing. Mickey held his breath, worrying that Mortimer would recognize his hecklers – only to remember that, when Mickey had confronted Mortimer in their last battle, he'd only known about Goofy and Horace. As far as Mortimer was concerned, he was being harassed by complete strangers. Horace was in the crowd, but he was making sure to stay hidden, snickering at how things were falling apart, with Pluto making a similar expression at his feet. Mortimer flailed as he tried to recover his wits, tripping over hidden switches and exposing a mirror when he stepped backwards.
“What about the kid?” one more voice asked, and there stood Donald, a smile on his beak and a twinkle in his eye. “You got anything worth showing? It's not too late!”
Mickey met Donald's face, and his heart stopped drowning. What had he been doing? Licking his own wounds as if that would solve anything? Mickey still had breath in his lungs, feelings in his soul, and a clever brain that rarely stopped. No, it wasn't too late – as long as he was alive, he could still learn. He wasn't alone, and so long as he kept fighting, he wouldn't stay alone. He touched the lamp on his belt, and his fingers curled. Just because a story ended, didn't mean the characters stopped living.
Mortimer growled, holding the cane in his hands so tightly it threatened to break. “Better think twice, kid! You know what'll happen if they learn the truth!”
The truth was so many things, some good, some bad, and it always would be that way. Mickey held the lamp in both his hands, looking at his own golden reflection shine. “The truth? The truth is... sometimes... I can be a real idiot.” Pink smoke began to drift out of one end. “Sometimes I don't listen to others when they've got things to say... And even worse, sometimes I don't think they have anything to say. Sometimes I try to do the right thing without checking if it's right. I make mistakes. I'm going to keep making mistakes. But if that's the only way I'll learn... then I'd better be prepared to make a lot more!” He held the lamp up to the sky, smiling wide. “So if what I'm going to do is a mistake... then I'll learn everything I can from it!”
“I WISH FOR THE FINAL PIECE OF THE MAP TO APPEAR IN MY HANDS!”
The lamp suddenly erupted with pink smoke, swirling all around Mickey then shooting forth into the sky. There came a melodious giggle. “As you wish, my Master!” And in a brilliant glow that awed all in the town, a rainbow wind twisted all around Mickey's now open and outstretched hand – when the colors cleared, a familiar piece of paper laid in his palm.
As the smoke faded, Minnie now stood next to Mickey, her beautiful smile back in its rightful place. She didn't say anything just yet – she doubted she'd be heard, as the audience went into roaring applause and huzzahs, the crewmembers joining up together at the front of the crowd to wave at their friends. Mortimer stood in place, stunned that his “brilliant plan” had fallen to pieces, more-so than he knew, given the shadows inching around behind the closed curtain. Mickey's scar glowed for a brief time, and there was a hint of exhaustion to both mice, but both things seemed to matter very little compared to gazing at each other's eyes.
“I'm sorry for hitting you,” said Minnie.
“I'm sorry for deserving to get hit,” said Mickey.
“KISS THE GIRL!” yelled Daisy, this time earning a ponytail-yank from everyone. “Oh, like you guys weren't thinking it!”
It was all fun and glory until Mortimer slammed his cane down on the box for the saw trick, now effectively splitting it in half without the body inside. “You asked for it, kid! Now you'll never know peace again!” He then spun on his heel to address the confused crowd. “You saw it with your very own eyes! This girl is a genie! If you get your hands on the lamp, you'll get untold power and riches!”
Mickey glanced at Minnie, who glanced back at him, and they exchanged a knowing grin. “Oh, all that?” Mickey said, giving the final piece to Minnie. “You can't con a con, Mortimer. That was just another trick. Had the smoke ready under the stage, used some mirrors to make the fancy lights, and hid the slip of paper under my sleeve.” Groans of disappointment and booing rose up once again, and some of the crowd, fed up with all the exposed lies, began to depart.
“Honestly, Mortimer,” Minnie added, enjoying every single drop of wretched misery on her former master's face, “What kind of grown-man believes in genies?”
Mortimer began to lose what little control he had over his sweat. “N-No! No, it's true! It's all true!” He could see the audience growing smaller, and his panic increased tenfold. “No! Don't leave, not yet! Just gimmie a little bit of time, and I'll prove it, I'll prove it everything!” If they didn't stay, they couldn't be robbed!
“Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that...” Mickey made an overly theatrical bow to Minnie, much like Mortimer had done before. “Minnie, if you please?” “Gladly, Mickey.” Minnie daintily took a few steps backwards, tugging the curtain back enough to expose all three Beagles, hoisting a different weapon, having intended to club Mortimer once the show was done. They paused upon being exposed, and awkwardly waved to the remains of the crowd.
“WHAT ARE YOU MORONS DOING HERE?!” Mortimer screamed, the cane now broken in his hands, which gave him a great many number of splinters.
“Well, uh,” the Head Beagle began. “We figured, why bother robbing them, when we could grab a genie and rob everyone everywhere? … 'Course, finding out that it's not real kinda puts a bummer on things.”
The audience that had remained behind was now glaring hotly at Mortimer, some knuckles cracking and a few sleeves rolled up. Mortimer knew he was a dead man, but given this was a fishing town, he kept flopping like a water-starved fish. “No, it's real! I know it's real! I can prove it!” He then waved erratically at Mickey, starting to foam at the mouth. “I'll make a wish! Gimmie that lamp!” Mortimer lunged at Mickey, who merely had to side-step, and sent Mortimer crashing down into the street below.
“He's not really under obligation to do anything of the sort...” Minnie fingered the spell piece as if she was just checking out her nails. “But, Mickey, why not be a dear and help him out?”
“Anything for you, Minnie.” Mickey waved his hand, and held out his empty palm. “I wish for the final piece of the spell to appear in my hands.” And, because it was a wish that had already been granted, absolutely nothing happened. “Hm. Funny, that.”
“No! No, that doesn't count!” Mortimer crawled to his feet, staggering, trying to reach for Mickey but now fear and humiliation had zapped his strength. “Wish for something else! I...I... I'm Magnificent...?” But Mortimer had used up the last ounce of good will from everyone around him – the audience for being swindled, and the thieves simply doing their nature of being thieves – and high-tailed it away from the stage, being chased by all sides.
“I can't even begin to tell you how good that felt.” Minnie hopped off the stage, grinning and unable to stop.
“I've got a pretty good idea.” Mickey jumped off as well, unsure who to hug first. “Thanks, everyone! You really got me out of a bad place, and saved our hides.”
“It's what we do.” Horace said, high-fiving his wife after. “All things being equal, though, does this mean we'll be hearing more wishes from you?”
“Would make things easier by, I dunno, one-thousand-percent,” Clarabelle agreed.
“Yes...and no.” Mickey adjusted the lamp on his belt, and faced Minnie. “I've been doing this the wrong way for a long time. When I wished to feel your pain, I was trying to take away your ordeal... but from the beginning, we should've been partners. Working together, instead of me just making a wish or delaying them until the last possible second. I still need your help rescuing my parents... and we still don't know what we'll face...but if you want-”
Minnie held up her hand, cutting him off. “I'm not just partners with you. I'm a member of the great Sinbad the Sailor's crew. Everyone here has their own journey to fulfill, but they are holding it off until they can rescue the Sultan and Sultana. I'm not an outsider, I'm not just along for the ride. I'm one of you... so, just like them, I'll hold off my quest until yours is done. I won't have my freedom until your parents are free, and the Phantom Prince is defeated.”
Mickey felt his face burn, in a good way – Minnie was becoming stronger day by day, and it was amazing to see. When she was finally free, she was going to do great things, and the world would be a better place. “How about this, then?” He held out his hand. “From now on, when I want to make a wish, I ask you first. And if you want me to make a wish, you ask me. Every wish will be from the both of us.”
Minnie almost shook his hand, but quickly pulled back, holding up her pointer finger. “With the exception being, if we're all about to die, you don't wait and ask.”
The rest of the crew loudly and unanimously agreed.
“Seriously, Mickey.”
“She speaks the truth.”
“Mickey, you're great, but yeah.”
“No more Hero Mode.”
“Sí, sí, sí.”
“Yep, yep, yep.”
“Woof, woof, woof.”
“I GET IT ALREADY!” Mickey snapped, embarrassed while knowing this was a fantastically good point. “A-hem. I will try not to get myself killed by withholding on the thing that would prevent me from getting killed. Deal?”
“Deal.” Minnie shook his hand, and to make extra sure he wouldn't forget this promise, leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. Mickey went pink, happily so, and started to fall backwards, with Donald catching him.
“Hey, hey, none of that just yet!” Donald snapped his fingers, trying to prevent Mickey from going into a typical love-induced stupor. “We finally have the last piece! We can get to the forgotten kingdom, and take on the Phantom Prince! We gotta get back to the ship and prepare, this will be our greatest adventure yet, we have to be ready for anything, and he stopped listening to me ten seconds ago, didn't he?”
“Kisses are powerful things, so I've learned.” Daisy lightly nudged Donald, who gave her an amused look.
The rest of the crew laughed, relieved of so many burdens, and they all began to head back to the ship, with Mickey needing to be carried most of the way. The sun set, and the stars began to glimmer all across the world.
~*~
But the stars weren't glimmering over Pete, and the fact he no longer saw them was very low on the list of things that creeped him out. The daily beatings had finally stopped, now that Mickey was going to head straight for them. There was one last plan to play, and like almost everything that had happened since this entire mess began, Pete disagreed with it. “Why can't you just kill them all and be done with it?” he growled once the final measures were put in place. “Keeping them alive will just give them a chance to come back after us!”
The Phantom Prince sat on his throne, his body becoming wispier with each passing day. “It's easy to pass judgment on things you don't understand. All is necessary for my grand design.”
“If I don't understand it, why won't you explain it to me?” Pete clenched and unclenched his sore hands.
The Phantom Prince scoffed. “Why should I explain things to a mere servant? I know what is best, as I have always known! If my foolish father had merely done the right thing and given me the crown, we'd still be remembered!” Though it was difficult to see at first, the old sorcerer was wringing his hands. “Once I have both the genie and the Eye, I can give new life to myself, and to the kingdom! Everyone will remember that it is I who ruled, and not my weak sister!”
Little by little, Pete was regretting turning over to the side of a madman. But, if he got to rule his own kingdom, surely it'd be worth it in the end? The beatings, the humiliation, the frustration, it would be worth it all in order to be rich and powerful! Who cared about being remembered, when the present mattered the most? By the gods, he didn't even know the real name of the man he was working for – and on a very disturbing note, did the Phantom Prince even remember his own name anymore? He thought very little of the prince he abandoned, but now he did, as a note of irony – with Mickey wanting to be known as anything but his title, and the Phantom Prince craving nothing but that. What would happen when two ridiculous forces collided?
No matter. Pete would show them all. He was smarter, wiser, better, and he'd have his chance to prove it soon enough. “But this is it? The final part of the plan?”
The Phantom Prince chuckled darkly. “The final part? You could see it that way. As for me... this is only the beginning.”
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A Little Too Real (8)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5
Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)
Word Count: 8830 (Jinkies guys!)
A/N: This is such a long time coming and I know I was trying to post it on Monday but where I was going to originally end it wasn’t good enough for me, so that’s why this is almost 9,000 words. So sorry about that but I hope you guys enjoy! Y/H/C- You Hair Color (P.S. Happy Birthday to my sister @star-arm-and-shield who is 18 today!)
Warnings: angst, fluff, stalking situation (Kind of), attempted kidnapping, violence, (I promise it’s not as bad as the warnings)
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Week 5
Y/N’S POV
We left the wardrobe trailer and Bucky headed to the makeup and hair trailer. I stuck with Wanda and Asa, but she had to leave to go and check on the girl's wardrobe before the cameras started rolling. I showed him to the area where we could sit and watch the show as it filmed.  
“So you watch the show?” I asked him with a smile on my face.
“Do I have to answer?”
“If you want to get caught up before we start filming.”
“Yes, I watch the show...with my girlfriend.”
“Why haven’t I heard about her?”
“Because I haven’t seen you in years and when we talk or text its short and about work. Also you’re like my weirdly more successful than me daughter and I don’t know, it seems strange to talk to you about girls.”
“I’m a good listener.”
“Even if you were my biological daughter, I don’t think I could talk about my love life with you.”
“Then I guess you wouldn’t be comfortable with mine.”
“You have one?”
“No.”
“You and lover boy seem pretty...smug.”
“James and I are close but friends.”
“Not with the way he looks at you.”
“You’re not the first person to tell me that.” I mumbled, not thinking he heard me.
“What do you mean?”
“What? Nothing.”
“No. I’m not the first person to point this out to you, am I?” All I did was glare at him. “You like him and you won't just admit it.”
“You want to know what’s happening? They’re about to start.”
“This conversation isn’t over, but yes.”
“How many girls were left when you last watched?”
“Seven girls left.”
“So, the two girls that got kicked off last week were…” I paused, really letting him stew, “Emma...and Chloe.”
“What?” He said completely surprised.
“Yeah…”
“What happened? Chloe was one of the girls at the very top. She could have easily been in the top three, I thought he liked her.”
“There’s a good reason?”
“And that would be?”
I took a second and thought about whether or not to tell him. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea about the two of us, because even I had been thinking about why he kicked her off lately, but I also knew that he probably already had the wrong idea about us.
“She was kind of kicked off because of me.” After I said that he had this look in his eye, like he knew why. “Not for what you’re thinking.”
“Then what?”
“Well I told you about that infection that I had, from my surgery. On the day before the last day of filming for the week I was really sick. I was pushing off the way that I felt because I knew that James couldn’t skip filming and I figured it would just go away. But it didn’t and Chloe came up to me and started making accusations about the fact that James was helping me so much. While we were talking I asked for her help grabbing my oxygen tank out of my backpack, because the pain was so bad that I just wanted to stop breathing, I thought that was a bad sign. She grabbed the backpack but kept it out of my reach, telling me to never see him again. So I stood up and tried to go after the bag, which I shouldn't've been doing. We fought over the bag and she let go making me fall to the ground. I was so in shock that I couldn’t even put the oxygen mask on. James came over and helped me and they called 911 and he told the director that he didn’t want to see Chloe when he got back.”
His eyes got real big and I knew that he had been thinking the same thing as he did earlier, before I had told him the story. He opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him.
“Don’t say it.”
“So you know what I’m going to say?”
“I have a pretty clear idea.”
He didn’t have a chance to say anything else because they started filming and became distracted in the show.
We sat to the side and watched one of the many director’s screens as filming went on. During breaks, Bucky would come over and check on me and the other girls would stare at me as I interacted with him. None of them were brave enough to confront us though, not after what happened with Chloe.
And I had to admit...I couldn’t stop thinking about that dream. I tried so hard not to, but it was a great distraction from everything going on and after I finally came to grips with how I felt about him, the harder it became to keep the idea of him out of my mind.
After filming was done for the day Bucky and I decided to go out for dinner and I gave Asa the keys to my apartment so that he didn’t have to pay for a hotel room.
But having a moment alone with Bucky, away from Tony and Asa and Wanda and everyone else who was worried, actually managed to make me feel better. The truth was, I had been paranoid all day. After Asa and Tony told me that it was more than likely that my grandmother and Jackson were on there way here, I couldn’t stop looking around, wondering if they were hiding somewhere or waiting to make a move. So dinner with Bucky was a much appreciated distraction.
When we ever ate out, when we ever had a moment to leave set, we loved to go out and find a new restaurant to try. And just recently with the broken leg and the wheelchair issue, we hadn’t really had a chance to go out and try something new, so I was pretty excited when he suggested that we go out, despite my broken condition.
And after we ate dinner we went back to the apartment and spent the night watching netflix; I think he caught on pretty early that I needed to be distracted. We stayed up as long as we could, laughing and talking and honestly it was good, it felt really good being with him.
And because of that, later that night after all the nightmares, I wasn’t surprised to find myself going back to my good dream. It was just so easy to get lost with him.
The following day was much like before. I was more tired though probably because of the frequently and crazy switches from dream to dream. So even though I didn’t have a lot to do that day it was hard to stay awake and watch what was happening on the show. Every now and then, Asa would nudge me awake and hand me a cup of coffee, sweetened to perfection and giving me just a little jolt of energy. But as the day came to a close we went back to the apartment ate dinner and continued whatever we had been watching the night before.
Right before we went to bed though I received a call from Peggy.
PC: Hey you!
YN: Hey, What are you up to?
PC: Nothing right now, we’re about to go to bed. But I was wondering if you wanted to do a girls lunch with Wanda and I tomorrow?
YN: I would love to.
PC: Great. I’ll let you know the place and I’m just assuming that you’ll ride with Wanda?
YN: Yeah. We’ll have to go back after lunch so it will be better that way
PC: It’ll be nice seeing you outside of a hospital room
YN: Yeah I know
PC: How are you feeling?
YN: That’s a tough one to answer
PC: That doesn’t sound good
YN: I’ll explain at lunch?
PC: Okay
YN: I’ll see you tomorrow
PC: Bye
YN: Bye
I hung up the phone and looked over at Bucky who was now also on the phone. I waited for him to hang up before I said anything.
“Peggy.”
“Steve.” We said at the same time.
“It seems a little suspicious that they called both of us.”
“Yeah, as long as I’ve known them, I’ve just learned to go with it, though.”
“I guess that’s all we can really do.”
We went to bed soon after our calls, all the while I was hoping to get more sleep than I had previously.
The following morning we did our usual routine, showering, getting dressed, eating breakfast, just like every other day before. We got to work on time, meeting Asa at the house, and started filming for the day. But god, did it take a lifetime to get to lunch.
Everything was just running so much slower today and I’m not sure why, but I was so relieved to make it to our extended lunch. They decided to give us a long lunch today because the girls were filming part of this episode in a different location, one a good distance from the house.
So despite the girls and the guys doing separate things for lunch we were all meeting at the same place and then the guys would leave us girls to ourselves.
Bucky parked his car down the street from the restaurant and came to help me out, like he always did. And as we moved closer to the restaurant we could see Peggy and Steve standing outside, holding hands and looking just as cute as always.
We all said a quick hello to each other before the guys left us to find our table and they went off...somewhere. We went inside and our hostess showed us to a table on their outdoor patio, per our request; the day was just too beautiful to sit indoors.
Peggy and Wanda each ordered a drink and I said everything I possibly could to myself to keep myself from ordering one too. If I wasn’t on medication I totally would have, but I just heard Bucky’s voice in my head telling me that I couldn’t, so I got a water instead.
“So what’s new in the day and life of Peggy and Steve, America’s favorite couple?” I mocked and she smiled.
“You saw me just a couple of days ago, there couldn’t have been that much that happened.”
“I would strongly disagree with that statement.”
“Well then why don’t we just start with you then? You clearly have something to talk about.” She looked a little devious when she said that.
“It’s not going to be what you want to hear.”
“One day it will.” Wanda said and her and Peggy both just laughed at me.
“You guys are crazy.”
The waitress brought over our drinks and we all took a second to take a sip before we would start back in on the conversation. Peggy had her drink in her left hand and I looked over at her briefly when I saw just a little flash of something that hadn’t been there before.
I choked a little on my drink but quickly coughed it out and stared at Peggy with wide eyes.
“Did Steve—did he—?” I tried to ask her.
She held up her hand so we could get a better view at the gorgeous ring on her left ring finger.
“Oh. You mean this?” She asked with a big smile on her face.
Even despite being in a wheelchair, Wanda and I both attacked Peggy with a hug, squealing like little girls.
As soon as we sat down the most important question was asked.
“How did he propose?”
“Well...it’s often very rare that Steve and I have a day off on the same day, so honestly when we did, I should have known that something was up. But it was honestly just a really great day. He made me breakfast in bed and we lounged around and caught up on our binge watching. Then he took me to a very romantic dinner at our favorite restaurant and we went swing dancing, which we hadn’t done in forever. And then it got a little more fishy. He helped me into the car but handed me a blindfold. I was a little skeptical because at this point I knew we had to be planning something but he asked me trust him and I did. So he drove for a while and then he came and helped me out of the car. He put his hands on my waist and led me out to wherever he wanted me, he took off the blindfold but told me to keep my eyes closed, and then he grabbed both of my hands and told me to open my eyes. We were on the beach and there were these lanterns and candles all around us, and I looked at Steve and he was down on one knee. He started talking about these things that I had thought he never noticed and he told me the things that he loved about me and then he asked me to marry him and of course I said yes.”
“That’s so romantic.” Wanda said.
“Yeah, it was.”
“I’m so glad he finally asked you. I’m so happy for you guys.” I said with a big smile on my face.
“Well you two can’t be too far behind now. You know I know a couple of guys—” We both objected to being set up, giving any excuse possible to not have to meet these strangers.
“If we’re not going to talk about boys, then don’t you owe me an explanation?” Peggy said as she picked up her drink to take a sip.
“You know, for a second I forgot that I would have to have this conversation again. But honestly, I think it’s worse now that both of you have alcohol and I have a Bucky voice in my head telling me that I can’t have any.”
“Do you usually have Bucky talking to you in your head?”
“Only when it comes to all the doctor stuff. When the doctor was talking about my recovery I was too loopy to remember anything so Bucky had to  re-explain everything to me.”
“You guys call him Bucky?” Wanda cut in and honestly I forgot that she didn’t know his nickname.
“His middle name is Buchanan, we’ve always called him Bucky as a nickname.” Peggy explained.
“That’s where it comes from?” I said in realization.
“He never told you?”
“We don’t really talk about our pasts too much. And he doesn’t know my middle name, I mean technically I don’t have one so…”
“You don’t have a middle name?”
“Well legally no and...biologically no.”
“What does that mean?”
“I was born with three names as every Russian is, my given name, my last name and then our third name which is a feminine version of my father’s name. So we all have three names and not technically a middle name even though my father’s name would come before my last name. And then when I moved to America my grandparents changed my last name to theirs and took away anything that resembled my father. But after I got married and had to run away them I changed my name back to something that they couldn’t find.”
Peggy’s eyes grew big and her jaw hit the floor. “That was so much information. What now?”
I promised to tell her everything but before that, we ordered our food. So as we waited and later as we ate, I told Peggy the whole story of Jackson and my grandmother.
I was just about to get to the end when I looked up across the street, seeing a familiar face. I stopped talking and stared at him, hoping that it wasn’t real. I closed my eyes hoping that this was just a figment of my imagination, of the sleep deprivation, but when I opened my eyes he was still there.  
“Y/N.” I heard Wanda say, trying to get my attention.
But I just stared at him. I tried to breath but it felt like I didn’t have lungs, I tried to draw my eyes away but I was too scared that he would move closer if I didn’t watch him, I tired to call out for Bucky but he wasn’t there.
When I got the strength to move in the slightest, I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, still keeping my eye on him and pressed the speed dial button for Asa.
AV: Hey Y/N. How’s lunch with the girls?
YN: He's here
AV: He’s there?
YN: I’m looking right at him
I looked over at Peggy, she was, more than likely, talking to Steve on the phone and Wanda was waving down our waiter so she could pay.
AV: How far away is he?
YN: Maybe fifty feet.
AV: Is your grandmother there?
YN: Not that I can see.
I heard some cursing in the background and what sounded like keys.
AV: Listen to me, I want you to keep an eye on him until I get there. Make sure he doesn’t get any closer to you.
YN: What’s going to happen?
“Y/N?” I turned around briefly to see a very panicked Bucky walking over to me, followed by a worried looking Steve. He came over to me first thing and bent down to my level, making sure that I was okay. He followed my line of sight over to where Jackson stood.
“Y/N. Look at me.” Bucky said, I almost having forgotten about Asa still on the phone. I turned and looked at him, his face was so much closer than I thought it was going to be, but having him that close was really what relaxed me the most. “It’s going to be okay.”
AV: Y/N? Y/N!
I heard the faint voice and turned my eyes back to Jackson, putting the phone back to my ear.
YN: Sorry.
AV: Is James there?
YN: Yes
AV: Hand him the phone
So I handed Bucky the phone and soon after our waitress finally came over. She tried to hand us our individual checks but Bucky just handed her a couple of bills. Her eyes went wide, but she thanked us for coming in.
“Asa said to bring you back to the house and to make sure that we’re not followed there.” He started to move my wheelchair away from the restaurant, Wanda, Steve and Peggy following us,  but I stopped him before we got too far away.
“He’s not going to come and arrest him?”
“No.” He tried to push again and again I stopped him.
“But he violated the restraining order.”
“Your grandmother’s not here, he wants to get both of them at once.”
“I don’t want to see her.”
“I know.”
This time I let him push me out of the restaurant and over to his car. We said a quick goodbye to Steve and Peggy, wishing them a congratulations on their engagement and we started on the road.
I watched the people on the side of the road, catching one last glance at Jackson as we passed by him walking on the street. I watched him until he completely disappeared from view and Bucky despite having seen him too, took the longest way possible back to the house.
Instead of going right back to filming, Wanda went back to the makeup trailer and Bucky and I went to his trailer waiting for Asa to meet us there.
I was set down on the bed towards the back of the trailer, putting my head in my hands and trying my hardest to get his face out of my mind.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look today?” I threw my head up to look at his sudden and very unexpected proclamation.
“What?”
“I said you look beautiful.”
“You’re just trying to distract me.”
“No I’m not.” I looked at him and saw that he was genuine. 
“Thank you.”
“I know you’ve been feeling pretty down with everything that’s happening and you always do things for other people.” He came to sit beside me on the bed. “I was so happy when Peggy called you because I thought she would give you a chance to take a break from everything. I know that I don’t really do that with all the doctor stuff and now everything with your grandmother. I really wanted to give you a moment of normalcy. I’m sorry you lunch was ruined.”
“It wasn’t ruined. I had a pretty good time. We talked about how Steve proposed and Peggy threatened to set me and Wanda up on blind dates. That’s what girlfriends do. Best friends keep your crazy ex-husband from coming after you and take care of you after you’ve been in an accident and want you to have a girls day so that you can be happy.”
“Really is that the job description for a best friend?” He laughed.
“Well if it isn’t you’ve gone above and beyond.”
“You’re going to make it through this. Next week will be better, I feel it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
We got through the rest of the day with no sightings of Jackson or my grandmother. And honestly that made me more nervous. We got back to the apartment that night and Bucky made us dinner and where sleep came easily for him, it was too hard for me.
He fell asleep facing me that night and I just watched him, hoping that feeling him at peace would give me some. I saw how the lines that were usually on his forehead disappeared, I could see his chest move up and down slowly signifying that he was actually there, and I heard a little snore escape when his lips parted, making me think about how it would feel to really have his lips on mine.
But as the night got later and as I picked out more and more things that I really loved about him, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t going to sleep that night. Except, the real issue was that right as I finally began to fall asleep, Jackson’s face would pop up and ruin everything still leaving me quite awake.  So Instead, I would distract myself by retreating back to the dream of Bucky and I, finding a little bit of peace despite not finding sleep.
And the following day was much of the same. Filming, eating lunch, hanging out with Bucky and Asa, trying to hide how completely exhausted I was, being paranoid that my ex-husband and grandmother were stalking me, you know the usual. And the similarities of the day didn’t stop there, they rolled on through to the night.
Except with this night, I laid there watching Bucky, just like before, but the longer I did the more my eyelids began to droop. Sleep had finally come, it felt like maybe just a couple of minutes but it had been long enough for Bucky to get completely ready for the day and attempt to wake me up multiple times.
If I hadn’t already been in a wheelchair he would of had to carry me out of the apartment, I was so exhausted at that point.
We drove to the house for one last day of filming for the week and I honestly had no idea what Bucky was going to do. With everything going on I had never had the chance to ask him about how the week was going, who he was going to keep on the show and who he wasn’t, and honestly it made me feel terrible.
We parked with the other cars and Bucky came to help me out and into my wheelchair once again.
“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Bucky pointed out to me.
“It’s possible.”
“Why don’t you go take a nap in my trailer?”
“You don’t want me at filming?”
“I want you to get some sleep, I know you haven’t been. I’ll be fine without you for a couple of hours.”
“No you won’t.”
“That may be true, but I’ll hide it as best as I can.” I smiled as much as I could and Bucky helped me over to his trailer. He walked me back over to the bed and set me down.
“Bucky?”
“Hmmm?”
“Will you stay with me, for just a little bit?”
“Sure, I have a few minutes.” He climbed in next to me and I wrapped my arms around him, just needing to feel safe for a moment more. “Are you okay?” He asked, definitely feeling how tight I was holding on to him.
“What are you going to do?” I asked instead.
“What...what do you mean?”
“You have one girl to kick off today. We haven’t really talked about anything but me lately and...what are you going to do?”
“You’re worried about me, when you can hardly keep your eyes open and you are literally having the worst month of your life?”
“I just feel bad that all we’ve talked about is—”
“You shouldn’t feel bad.”
“I know that this isn’t what you signed up for—” He pulled me out of his arms far enough so that I could look at him.
“Y/N, if you think for one second that I wouldn’t do anything for you, than you’re insane.”
“I just want you to be happy and with everything going on it just seems like—”
“What makes you think I’m not happy?”
“Because this is crazy. First I’m in an accident then the thing with Chloe and now Jackson.”
“This is about him isn’t it?”
“No.”
“You haven’t been sleeping because of him. Are you thinking about what he did?”
I knew I could be honest with him. “At lunch...I thought that watching him, making sure that he didn’t get any closer to me would help. Now I can’t get his face out of my head, I see him when I close my eyes. If I keep my eyes open I don’t see him.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I just hate thinking about what your family did to you, forcing you to marry him.”
“I hate thinking about it too but I guess in a way it helped me realize my dream, it really pushed me to take my life back into my own hands. Which was important.”
“Well I’m thankful for that, I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“Whatever, you’re just saying that.”
“No I’m serious. You remember that day when I helped you write out all of those fitting notes?”
“Yes.”
“I was planning on quitting the show that day. I wanted you to be the first person to know and the longer I sat there helping you, the more you convinced me that I needed to do this.”
“What did I say to convince you?”
“It wasn’t anything you said, it was just being with you that reminded me of the audition and everything that everyone had been working on to give me this shot. I couldn’t just walk away.”
“You deserved to be on the show, you deserve to find happiness.”
“Even if I don’t end up with someone on the show...I did find happiness and I found you, so I’m walking away with something.”
“Now you’re really just trying to distract me.”
“I want to help you.”
“With?”
“Falling asleep.”
“Take your best shot.”
“Close your eyes.”
“Bucky—”
“Trust me. Close your eyes and think of nothing, just listen to my voice.” So I closed my eyes and did as he said. “I want you to think of the thing that makes you happier than anything in the world.”
Oh you mean you? I thought to myself.
I know that I shouldn’t have, because he was way too close to me, but my head automatically went back to that dream. I loved the touch of his skin, his hand resting on my cheek, I could feel his other hand making small circles on my lower back, and the whole while he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. I had a hand rested against his shoulder, my arm laid against his chest, and my other arm was wrapped around his waist, keeping him close to me. Honestly it only made it that much harder to not get sucked into my dream, to not get pulled off into the beautiful fantasy of it all. And it turn having him there, having him talk me out of my doubts and be so concerned with helping me sleep, did help keep the nightmares away and keep my eyes closed.
Sleep eventually followed.
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BUCKY’S POV
I became distracted. I laid there next to Y/N until she fell asleep, completely forgetting about the fact that I should have already been to hair and makeup. But honestly I didn’t want to leave, I should have known that they would find me though.
I heard a light knock on the door and without me having to say anything I saw Wanda pop her head in. Before she could get too close, I tried to untangle myself from Y/N, seeing that she was so tired that she didn’t have the will to fight me pulling away from her. I hated to leave her, but I really didn’t have a choice...which sucked.
I followed Wanda out of the trailer and she didn’t say anything to me until we both knew that we wouldn’t wake Y/N.
“How is she?” She asked first thing.
“She’s paranoid, which I expected, but she’s tired and hasn’t slept in two days. It makes me feel bad that she doesn’t feel safe enough to sleep at my apartment.”
“I’m sure it’s not that, she seemed really scared when she saw him at lunch and she just stared at him, like if she took her eyes off of him he would move closer or he would do something to her. I’m sure she is having a hard time forgetting that face. I just got a brief glance of him but I know I'm not forgetting him.”
“I’m just worried.”
“Me too.”
We stepped into the hair and makeup trailer and I let them get to work. As they worked I texted Asa, trying to get a hold of him and letting him know that Y/N was fast asleep in my trailer. I was hoping that I could get him to at least be close to the trailer just in case she woke up, I didn’t really want her to be alone.
I sat as the two ladies worked on me and anxiously waited for Asa to respond, Wanda kept talking to me, trying to keep my mind off of things but every now and then I would check my phone to see that there was no response. After they were done with everything, moving quicker than usual since I had been late, I quickly moved to the wardrobe trailer and got dressed, not caring all too much about myself. I knew that since I had gotten ready so fast, I had some time to go back and check on Y/N and maybe even try to find Asa.
So I was making my way back towards my trailer when I actually spotted Asa walking towards me.
“Hey, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you.” I said to him.
“You have?”
“Yeah I texted you.”
“I’m not a texter.”
“Anyway, Y/N is asleep in my trailer, I was hoping you could stay with her while I’m filming so she doesn’t freak out when she wakes up.”
“Um...sure, is she okay? She’s seemed a little tired yesterday but I thought she was doing fine.”
“Yeah she’s just having some trouble sleeping, I don’t want her to wake up alone.”
“I don’t mind waiting there.”
“I’ll show you the way, I was going to check on her before I started filming.”
So we started to make our way over to my trailer and as we got closer, both Asa and I noticed something very wrong.
Walking away from my trailer, in the opposite direction from where we were, were a man and a woman and what looked like a third slung over the man’s shoulder. I automatically recognized it as Y/N with her Y/H/C hair and the long dress that she had been wearing earlier. I think Asa saw it too.
We both rushed over to them but when we got close, Asa withdrew his gun and pushed me behind him. I could feel the anger rise within me, I hated the idea of him taking her away from me, of him even trying to. Just seeing him with her thrown over his shoulder was making me want to cut out in front of Asa and just take him out myself.
“Police! Stop where you are.” They both paused, knowing that they had been caught, both turning very slowly to face us.
“Vanhoose.” Jackson said.
“Put Y/N down.”
“You must always get in the way, this is my wife. I am simply taking her home.”
“Your marriage was annulled, you no longer have any say over what happens to her. Put her down.”
They both looked at each other as if they were coming up with some sort of plan but I was just worried about Y/N and why she wasn’t doing anything.
“James, walk over there.” He said to me. “You’re going to hand Y/N to her friend James here.” He instructed Jackson. I had to admit, that as I moved closer and closer to Jackson the more worried and angry I got, not only because I was very close to a big time criminal, but because I could hear Y/N whispering my name, like she was calling out for my help.  
I grabbed Y/N from Jackson as gently as I could, wrapping my arms around, holding her tight to my chest and trying to figure out what was wrong. I brushed her hair out of her face and tried my best to hold her up. She was trying so hard to keep her eyes open and she just kept saying my name.
“Y/N, I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
I tried to convince her that I was still there but she seemed so out of it, which wouldn’t make sense if she had just been sleeping, she would have woken up. So what did they do to her?
I looked around me to see a few of the security staff was now by us. One was behind me on the phone with the police, one was with Asa, holding back a now handcuffed grandmother and one more was holding Jackson as Asa moved from her grandmother, grabbing his second pair of handcuffs as he moved.
I tried one last time to wake Y/N up but she couldn’t fight the drowsiness. I looked over at Jackson to see a smile on his face and honestly that was the last straw for me. I thought of the way he had been holding her just a few minutes ago, I thought of the possibility of what he did to make her this way, I thought about the story and why Y/N had been so paranoid knowing that whatever he did had to be bad. All of that just added up and all the sudden I couldn’t think straight.
I handed Y/N off to the security guard and then I walked over to Jackson. I used my walk to rev up before I punched him square in the jaw. My fault in doing that though...he wasn’t handcuffed when I did it. Apparently my head, as I went through everything that led me to that point, worked a lot faster than Asa did at getting handcuffs on him. So right after I punched him he broke through the hold of the security guard and punched me right back.
Following his punch was the subsequent tackle made by both the security guard and Asa, only this time it didn’t take nearly as long to get the handcuffs on him. Asa just glared at me as they stood him back up and I walked back over to Jackson.
“What did you do to her?!” I yelled in his face, he just smiled again.
“What’s going on?” Asa asked.
“They did something to her, she won’t wake up.”
The other security guard brought her grandmother to where Jackson was and Asa gave them a stern look that I’m sure had to work on the criminals he interrogated.
“I already have a list of things to charge you two with, let’s not add another one shall we? What did you do to her?”
“We just gave her something to sleep, so she wouldn’t fight us.” Her grandmother mumbled.
“What did you give her?”
“Why does it matter?” Jackson sassed back.
“She’s on other medication.”
“It’s whatever sedative they use at the hospital.” She said.
“You don’t even know what you gave her. I hope you two rot in prison.” I turned away from them went back over to Y/N. I grabbed her in my arms again and asked the security guard to follow me.
If I was right and I remembered the type of sedatives they used in hospitals correctly, then Y/N would be fine. So I went to my trailer and set her down on my bed and instructed the security guard to not leave her side...just in case. As soon as I got her settled in, I rushed over to the house.
I was late. Not by much but I was late. So instead of waiting around for me they went ahead and started filming some of the scenes with the girls which really worked in my favor. I walked up to the house and sat in an extra chair behind the director letting him know I was there. Wanda was the first person to pay me any attention and was very startled by what she saw.
“What the hell happened to your eye?” She said, reaching up to touch my cheek.
“I got punched by a criminal. Is it bad?”
“It’s there. Stay here.” She ran over and grabbed one of the makeup girls and she gave me a weird look before she attempted to cover up the black eye.
“So what were you saying about a criminal?” She directed me back to why I had the bruise.
“Jackson.”
“He was here?”
“Tried to make it off with Y/N.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No. We stopped them just in time though and Asa arrested them.”
“So they’re done.”
“They’re done. But honestly, I thought they were going to put up more of a fight.”
“More of a fight? You’ve already got a black eye.”
“Well I started it, you should see the other guy.” I joked.
“You started it?”
“I just got so angry and I hated thinking about what he could've done to her, but I will say that I should've checked he was in handcuffs first.”
“Awww, look at you...coming to her rescue.”
“I wasn’t going to let him hurt her again...and neither would Asa.”
The makeup artist did the best that she could but there was nothing she could do about the swelling, it would have to go down in time.
So I went through filming, the black eye having earned plenty of sympathy points with the girls, and every time I had a break I would go and check on Y/N. I even found a chance to call Y/N’s  doctor to ask about the sedative and how long he thought it would take for her to wake.
But as the filming finished for the day and the count of the girls went from five to four, I was relieved for the week to be over. I found myself more relieved to know that I had some good news for Y/N.
I went to my trailer first thing and relieved the security guard and he looked glad to be done. I went over to Y/N and tried my best to wake her up but she was deep in sleep. So I carefully moved her out of the trailer and into her wheelchair before I moved her to my car and drove home.
The drive was quiet, I didn’t bother to turn on the music, and every now and then I would just look over at her and see how peaceful she looked. I loved that she was getting some sleep, despite the aid of the sedative.
When I pulled up to my apartment I carried Y/N in and got her settled in the bed before I went about our nightly ritual by myself. I made dinner, I watched Netflix, I even did some laundry and some other cleaning, really anything to pass the time.
But as the night stretched on, I came to a quick realization...I didn’t like doing regular things alone.
I had only had Y/N living with me for a couple of weeks and honestly nothing would be the same. She always helped me cook our meals, even if it was just as entertainment, she always commented on how wrong I did my laundry and explained in detail how to do it right, even watching TV was boring without her talking through most of it.
What would happen when she woke up and I told her that the doctor said that it was okay for her to be on crutches, that it was okay for her to go home?
When I finally headed in for the night, I saw her laying in the same position that I left her in, resting on her back, propped against the pillows, looking as beautiful as before. I went and sat beside her on the edge of the bed, brushing a stray piece of hair off of her skin. I looked at her and just thought about how happy she made me, letting my hand rest on her cheek. I thought about her laugh and how it sounded like the most beautiful sound in the world, like something indescribable and completely her, I thought about the touch of her skin, the tingle and sparks that seemed to electrify mine when our hands brushed or when we held each other close, I thought of her smile...her lips. God I wanted to kiss those lips. I wanted it more than air.
I knew I was in trouble, I had known it from the second I met her, but right in this second, staring at her and being as close to her as I was, I knew I was in deep deep trouble.
I brought my other hand up to her cheek and just held her face in my hands, wanting to memorize the feeling while I still had the chance. My heart was beating out of my chest, it was the only sound that I could hear, and I wished more than anything that it would beat loud enough for her to hear.
And then I did the unthinkable.  
I moved real close to her, my face only an inch from her, my lips an inch from her…
And in a moment of pure unadulterated necessity, I put my lips on hers.
I didn’t linger, I didn’t expect anything to happen, I just wanted to know what she felt like. And it was...nothing like I had imagined. It was so much better.
If I thought I had been in trouble before, I don’t even know what I was now.
I could have died in that kiss and I would have been happy.
I moved off the edge of the bed and silently went into the bathroom. I closed my eyes and leaned against the door for support, the only thing holding me up at this point. When I gained control over my legs I moved to the sink and threw some cold water on my face, trying anything at this point to wipe the memory of her lips from me.
When that didn’t work I opted to go to bed, it being my only option at this point. I laid awake for a while facing away from Y/N tonight, not trusting myself to look at her again.
Sleep came to me as unexpected as sleep does, taking me away from the reality of today and into a dream of what could be.
Ever since Y/N had come to live with me, she had become a constant staple in my dreams. I thought that having her close had caused some wild dreams, ones that I had fought and somehow managed to keep under control, but with the feeling of her lips etched onto mine, it made that barrier of control crash down...hard.
I was definitely in trouble.  
Y/N’S POV
I was definitely in trouble. If I didn’t stop having this dream, or in the case of today’s sleep, make it more elaborate, if you catch my drift, I swear I would go insane. I looked at the ceiling for a few minutes picking out the few spots I had before, results from the sleepless nights. But what I didn’t understand was why I was at Bucky’s apartment. Surely there was no way that I slept through the entire day.
So instead of trying to figure out that mystery I opted to day dream. I looked over at Bucky and how peaceful he was sleeping  and I thought about how grateful I was that he let me stay with him. So I thought about how he made me smile and how infectious his laugh was and how he always tried to make me happy by making me Russian food and telling me jokes in Russian so that we’re the only two people who knew what it meant.
“Well you look happy.” I heard Bucky say, I must have been smiling.
“I guess that’s what good sleep will do to you.”
“Well I would hope so, I don’t think I’ve ever slept for 26 hours straight.” He said eyeing the clock.
“What?! 26 hours? You let me sleep for 26 hours?”
“I didn’t really have a choice.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m not that heavy of a sleeper.”
“I know you’re not.” He said smiling. “I wish I didn’t have to tell you this so soon. You looked so happy.”
“Bucky, please tell me what happened.”
He turned and faced me and I automatically noticed the black eye on his face.
“What the hell happened to your eye?!” I said, reaching out to touch his cheek and pulling him closer so that I could get a better look at it.
“It’s nothing. Let me explain.”
He told me everything that happened after he left me asleep in the trailer. I was shocked.
“He was just going to walk away with me?”
“I would have never let it happen.”
“And they gave me a sedative?”
“The doctor said to let it run through your system, that you would wake up by yourself.”
I moved my hand back up to his eye, looking at the bruise. “He punched you.”
“Well I started it.”
“He punched you because of me.”
“He punched me because of me. I punched him first.”
“You’re insane for punching him, you do know he’s got a mile long rap sheet, don’t you?”
“I did know that. I was just so angry and worried.”
“About?”
“You. You weren’t doing anything, you should have woken up but you didn’t and I knew he did something.”
He was worried about me.
I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, right below the bruise. I let my lips linger for just a second before I pulled just far enough away to make it not so awkward after I kissed him.  
“Thank you.”
“I would do anything for you.”
“Well you’ve certainly proved it. I mean with all of this, you didn’t have to take me in or take care of me or any of this.”
“On that note. The doctor said you don’t have to be in a wheelchair anymore.”
“That’s great!”
“We’ll pick up your crutches and with your grandmother and Jackson locked up, you should be safe and healthy enough to go anywhere you want. Which means that—” He seemed hesitant to say what had been lurking over the past couple of days as the week came to a close.
“Which means I should go back to my apartment, get out of your hair.”
“My hair doesn’t mind.” I laughed harder than I probably should have.
“I’ve overstayed my welcome.”
“If you think so.” He seemed sad?
“I’m sure you want your apartment back.” I tried to convince myself I needed to go, myself more than him apparently. Surely he was ready to get his apartment back to what it was like before. “Well I’m not moving out right this second. And I for one am excited to get up and try to walk around.”
So I got out of bed and very poorly made my way to the kitchen. Bucky stayed close behind me just in case but I’m sure he got a good laugh out of me trying to maneuver around his apartment.
Bucky and I spent this last day together doing whatever came to mind. He made us breakfast and I made us some pies to eat later with dinner, we got dressed and ready and went to the hospital to get my crutches, and it was nice to be able to laugh with someone that I cared about.
Not only was I greatly energized after sleeping for 26 hours but just hanging out with Bucky without the lingering trouble that my life had brung, had made for a pretty perfect day.
But as the day came to a close, once again, we ate our dinner and our pies and then it was time for me to start packing. Bucky sat on the bed as I repacked all of my things, talking to me and honestly it sounded like he was trying to convince me to stay.
But with everything that had been going on, and the very strong feelings that had started to bubble over, I needed to get my head back on straight, I needed to reign back in everything that had already spilled out.
Bucky carried my things out to his car and he drove me home, it was very...quiet. Really the first time we had ever not said anything to each other.
When we got to my apartment, Bucky carried my things up the stairs and stayed right behind me, making sure that I wouldn’t fall.
I unlocked the door and stepped inside my apartment for what seemed like the first time in forever. Asa’s bags were packed and he was sitting on the couch.
“There’s my favorite Foster daughter.” He got up and came over to hug me. “And out of her wheelchair, they grow up so fast.” He wiped a few fake tears away.
“Okay and I’m your foster daughter, so...”
“I’m assuming James told you everything.” He redirected.
“He did.”
“Which means it's time for me to go.”
“Well I would say that it was nice to have you here but…”
“Hey.”
“I’m kidding. It was really good to see you after all this time.”
“Let’s make it not too long next time.”
“Okay.”
“Good.” He gave me another hug and looked at Bucky.
“You take care of her.” He stuck out his hand for him to shake.
“I will.” He grabbed his hand and shook.
And then he was gone leaving me and Bucky alone.
“So…” He started.
“So…”
“I guess I should go too then. Let you get resettled.”
“Yeah. Thank you for letting me stay with you, it really means a lot that you would offer.”
“It was no problem at all, I loved having you there.”
“Now you can get back to your bachelor ways.”
“Yeah.”
“I know I won't be staying with you anymore but if it’s not too much trouble I would still love to drive in to work with you.”
“Yeah I would like that.” He walked over to me and wrapped me in his arms. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Sooner than we’ll both want.” We both laughed and then he left, closing the door behind him.
I looked around my empty apartment, seeing that it looked exactly the same as before. Only now it seemed...lonely.
I tried not to think of it, of how hollow it felt in here now, and opted to go to bed instead of thinking about it any longer.
So that night I fell asleep...completely alone and I had to admit...I didn’t like it.
What had he done to me?
PART NINE 
Tell Me What You Think Here
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