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bewaretheidesofmarchyall · 3 years

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Good Omens AU Part Four

It’s back. Original is here

Wilbur didn't expect to care about Tommy, but he accepted it pretty quickly.

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There wasn't much to bring with him the day he moved to town. After all, it wasn't like he'd actually need to renovate the house.

He stood on the curb in front of the remnants of the house that burned down a decade ago, suitcase in hand. A bit of a fixer-upper, but I can work with this.

After checking to make sure there weren't any nosy neighbors watching, he reached out to the debris.

The charred wood and scattered bricks twitched for a few seconds, before assuming the appearance of a lovely home.

A doorbell, a porch, windows in a shade of cobalt blue, and above all else the distinct feeling that Wilbur's house (and by extension, Wilbur) had been around on the block for ages.

Even if the neighbors didn't know who he was or what he did, they would have to struggle to think of him as a stranger.

And they had their own petty human lives, which didn't contain the time or energy to waste worrying about a charming new addition to the neighborhood.

Wilbur strolled into his perfectly average house, plans whirring in his head.

Showtime.

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There were quite a few houses on the block, but Wilbur was only focusing on a group of three.

House #1: Tommy's home, three houses away. A simple house that contained the most important person in the world and his intimidating dad.

House #2: That Weird Guy's house, two houses away. Wilbur had no idea who That Weird Guy was, but he was apparently close friends with Tommy's dad, and even more intimidating. Wilbur wasn't sure why the kid was surrounded by people that made him worry for his life despite being immortal.

House #3: Schlatt's house, sadly next door. He didn't need additional proof that god hated him, but apparently they'd wanted to make it even clearer.

A week or so after he'd gotten settled into his new home, Wilbur decided to go outside to get a better look at the streetlamps and the night sky while trying to find his plan.

He was feeling surprisingly positive about the whole thing. Soon, he'd be changing the fate of the world.

If this didn't get him remembered after it all, nothing else would.

A hacking cough came from the porch next door, reminding him that he wasn't the only supernatural being on the block. Wilbur took a breath, trying to be civil.

Don't get distracted from the most important mission of your life because you want to murder a goat. Just walk on by. Just keep walking, and don't acknowledge his existence. You don't know him.

However, his unwanted neighbor had no qualms about acknowledging Wilbur's existence, and he'd only taken a couple of steps onto the street before Schlatt called out to him.

"Well, would you look at that: You’re finally out of the house! This is more of a miracle than anything I’ve done.".

Wilbur turned around, counting down the seconds until he could not be where he was, having this conversation.

"Schlatt, we're supposed to be undercover."

"Oh, my bad. Guess these random humans will never get to know our big secrets.". Schlatt raised his voice slightly, yelling to the deserted cul-de-sac.

"Would be a shame if someone found out that guy over there is a demon! Yeah, the jerk with the beanie's from Hell, and I'm an angel, and we're only pretending to be human because (get this) one of the little tykes on your block is actually the antichrist!".

Wilbur pinched the bridge of his nose. Was it possible to get headaches when his mind was only semi-corporeal?

"Could you kindly shut the fuck up?"

"Nope.". I mean, that's kind of on me for phrasing it as a question.

Schlatt took a break from the Annoying Wilbur Show (airs all times that he has the poor idea to go outside) to dig into more of his tomato sauce and meat wraps.

He raised the snack like it was a holy relic. Wilbur supposed that if Schlatt really wanted to, he could make it into one.

"These are Hot Pockets. I was actually planning on taking a few over to you-know-who's family as a housewarming gift, build up good favor, you know?". Suddenly, the plan clicked in Wilbur's head. He tried to keep his face neutral and concerned, with no hint of a smirk.

"Hot Pockets? I mean, are you sure?"

"What's wrong with Hot Pockets? And choose your next words carefully.". Wilbur leaned against a streetlamp, sighing in assumed pity.

"There's nothing wrong with Hot Pockets per se. They're fine, I guess.". Schlatt sputtered, offended beyond belief.

"Fine? Fine? You see before you the one thing that has made me reconsider starting the apocalypse, and you're like "eh. fine". Fuck you and your family and whatever you call taste buds. Fine? I'd tell you to go to hell, but that doesn't work, so go to New Jersey you son of a-".

This continued on for a while.

Wilbur nodded along to the tirade, maintaining a poker face. All the while, he telekinetically inched the tray of wrapped (?) Hot Pockets towards him.

The tray crept ever closer, past Schlatt's lawn chair, past Schlatt's nightmarish garden gnomes, past the freshly dug earth that definitely had a body buried under it, until it was finally within reach.

Without listening to another word, Wilbur grabbed the Hot Pockets and ran for the hills, easily outrunning the outraged angel.

Sorry, Schlatt, but you're going to have to try harder to win this game.

He sprinted to House #1 and rang the doorbell, trying to look non-suspicious. After about a minute, he got an answer from the selected father (Phil, his name was Phil).

Wilbur smiled brightly and walked into the house.

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The initial meeting went great, putting the whole "getting threatened with a knife" thing aside.

Phil seemed to appreciate the Hot Pockets and company, and Wilbur could confidently guess that he'd managed to secure a place in helping him out in the future.

Besides being good for the plan in general, he'd liked spending time around Phil and Tommy. Wilbur didn't get to talk to people a lot, and when he did it was normally trying to scam them out of their soul.

So, this was a welcome break.

And his heart definitely hadn't been warmed when Tommy had fallen asleep to the sound of his guitar. Nope. Absolutely none of that.

Phil evidently didn't see child raising as his first priority, and Wilbur found more chances to volunteer to watch his kid than he expected.

At times, he felt like he was just as much of a parent to Tommy as Phil, if not more.

Which wasn't to say that he felt any bitterness about that. Quite the contrary. Watching after Tommy was one of the best parts of his day.

Despite being a baby, the kid already had so much personality, and his little face would light up whenever Wilbur went home to House #1.

When Wilbur held the baby in his arms, he really did feel like a guardian.

The phrase "guardian angel" had stung, but he did want to shield Tommy from harm or becoming anything like him when he grew up.

Still, it's not like his heart was at all warmed when he held Tommy in his arms-Oh, screw it. His heart was warmed. He happened to care about the adorable baby that he spent a lot of time with. Go figure.

Caring wasn't interfering with his job as a protector, informant for Hell, and general influencer of evil. So, there was no purpose in denying it.

Besides the unexpected emotional attachment, nothing really changed about the general routine.

His days consisted of maintaining the glamours around his house, reading his books, writing (it turns out that an approaching Armageddon worked wonders for deadline motivation), staring at the ceiling and wondering why God had forsaken him, looking after Tommy, talking with Phil (and on occasion, That Weird Guy), giving the Lords of Hell their required project updates, and, occasionally, almost getting murdered.

One key example of the "almost getting murdered" thing happened when Tommy was around two years old.

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He'd just gotten back from another meeting with the Lords (yes, Tommy is still alive. no, he isn't evil yet, seeing as he's two years old. no, that wasn't sarcasm. no, I'd actually prefer for you to not kill me for my insolence. Same old stuff.).

It was a cold yet sunny winter afternoon when Wilbur stepped out of the office building and back into the mortal world. As he made his way towards the bus station, his phone rang.

The call was from Phil, and he moved away from the middle of the sidewalk to take it, leaning against the brick wall of a building next to an alleyway.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Will, a job came up tonight without much notice. Would you be able to watch Tommy around 7-ish?"

"Sure, I can do that."

"Great, you're a lifesaver. One last thing: If Techno decides to question you about your motives and backstory, don't take it personally, he's just in one of those suspicious phases lately. Okay?".

Wilbur would have loved to agree, nonchalantly laugh it off, and quickly go over his backstory in his head again.

Unfortunately for him, there was a weapon aimed at him from the alleyway.

It would be a funny sight to the passerby to see a normal-seeming person cower in the face of a spray bottle.

Of course, the average passerby wasn't a demon.

9 times out of 10, when a spray bottle was pointed at a demon, the spray bottle was full of holy water and the demon was in for a bad time.

Wilbur stood there, frozen. The alleyway was shady, and he couldn't quite make out who was aiming the bottle at him.

Phil's voice echoed out of his phone.

"Will? Are you still there?". Wilbur tried to keep his voice steady, and he quickly responded.

"I'm here. I got it. I'll be ho-I'll be back soon. There is no need to call me back. Goodbye."

"What's that supposed to mean?". He tapped the screen, ending the call. Please, don't have me die right now. It would be annoying, not to mention narratively unsatisfying.

He looked into the alleyway, addressing whoever had seen fit to threaten him today.

"Hi there. I'm guessing that spray bottle isn't full of Sprite.".

A man in a blue onesie (Sonic the Hedgehog cosplay?) emerged from the shadows.

"Yep. I mean, it technically was Sprite until it went through the blessing process, but it's a lot holier now.". Wilbur blinked a few times in confusion.

"Connor?"

"Hey."

"What's with the outfit? Why are you threatening me in an alley? What's with the outfit?"

"Don't mock the outfit, I have it on good faith that this is the height of human fashion."

"Let me guess. Schlatt told you that.".

The onesie-clad angel stood there, realizing that taking the advice of that particular coworker probably wasn't the smartest decision he'd ever made. Eventually, he shrugged it off.

"Well, I feel resplendent, so this is a win in my book.". Wilbur tapped the bricks on the wall, almost playing a rhythm.

"Listen, Connor, if you were just going to kill me with that thing you would have already pulled the trigger. Why are you here?". Connor looked a little sheepish about the whole thing.

"The higher-ups thought that I should make you an offer you can't refuse. Basically, some intern had the bright idea that we should have Hell's guardian either agree to spy for us or die."

"You're suggesting that I become a double agent?"

"Yeah. Or die, whichever is your preference."

"I think your higher-ups underestimate my importance here. Killing me won't slow our side down by much. They'll just send another guy, and you'll have to spend more time in unpleasant alleyways."

"And someday they'll send a guy who takes our offer. Trust me, we've been planning this ever since we realized Schlatt was going to be useless down there.". Wilbur thought about it.

Killing god obviously matters more than prolonging my life. And I'm a good actor, but I don't have enough time in my life to be a triple agent.

"Come on, Connor. I thought you were one of the decent ones.". Connor half-heartedly kicked at a puddle.

His face was reluctant, but he still aimed the spray bottle with precision.

"Please tell me you're going to accept the offer?"

"You've known me for years. What do you think?"

"From what Schlatt has told me, you're too stubborn for your own good.". Wilbur laughed at that.

"Yeah. So the real question is: Can you murder me, Connor?". Connor shuffled, and the spray bottle wavered. Wilbur continued talking.

"I'm actually interested to see what you do next. You've got my full attention.". The two of them stood there, completely still. Finally, Connor pointed the spray bottle away from Wilbur and aimed for the sky.

"You've kind of made this whole thing weird, man. So, I'll give you a 15-second head start.".

Wilbur didn't waste time thanking him, and he sprinted away.

He fled through shadows and smoke, barely remembering to keep some trace of a physical body. He scrambled his way towards the bus station, reaching the glass doors.

However, that was where his luck ran out.

"Sorry, Wilbur. That's the power of the Sonic onesie: I'm really fast.".

I'm going to need to invest in a Sonic onesie. Except I can't, because I'm about to be shot. Fuck, those are terrible last thoughts.

Out of desperation, he grabbed the lid of the spray bottle and twisted it off, before punching Connor in the gut. The angel doubled over, and the holy water spilled out of the bottle.

Wilbur scrambled away from the spill, trying to keep from making contact.

He ran through the doors and into the bus station.

Some of the holy water had gotten on his coat, and he awkwardly shrugged it off in a corner, which was a shame. He'd really liked the aesthetic of having a trench coat. Sure, he could glamour another one in a few seconds, but it wouldn't feel the same.

Connor walked towards him, and Wilbur glared.

"You made me lose my trench coat!"

"Again, sorry about all of this, it was just business.". Connor held out his arm in an almost peaceful gesture.

And Wilbur, tired and overconfident, made the first stupid decision for the day. He took the peace offering and took Connor's hand.

The white-hot pain nearly knocked him to the ground.

There had been less than a drop of holy water on his hand, but it was more than enough to stop Wilbur from breathing for a few minutes.

In and of itself, that was fine. He didn't need to breathe to stay alive. All that he had to do was stay away from holy things, what had he done.

In the background, Connor was frantically apologizing and claiming that he "didn't mean to do that". Wilbur wondered distantly why he'd still be lying to him.

And here I was thinking that there were one or two decent angels. How laughable.

No one's decent 14 years from Armageddon. Not humans, not angels, and not me.

Wilbur shoved Connor away and walked up to the ticket counter.

His hands were shaking and his words all over the place, but somehow he managed to convey that he wanted to take a bus back to town and pay for it.

If I can get back to my house, I should be okay. Or, at the very least, not dead.

The bus ride was tricky. For one, part of the route was along Fundy's cursed highway (one of the demon’s more useless inventions), so things were significantly slowed down.

Also, everything felt far away and cold, and it was a bit difficult to keep focus on which stop was his.

It took far too much time to reach town, and even more to make his way back to his street.

On auto-pilot, he ended up at House #1 first, panicking slightly when neither Tommy nor Phil was inside.

Trying to keep calm, he checked House #2, and thankfully That Weird Guy (he knew his name was Technoblade, but that was a ridiculous name, and he'd been thinking of him as That Weird Guy for so long that it was hard to stop) was keeping watch over Tommy. Relief washed over him.

I don't know what I'd do if he got hurt.

That Weird Guy seemed fine with taking care of Tommy for a little longer, which Wilbur was secretly grateful for.

He also seemed convinced that Wilbur was going to pass out, which was hilarious, seeing as Wilbur didn't need to sleep or breathe unless he wanted to.

After a brief moment of rest in a bush, he made his way to his house.

He tried to unlock the door, but his hands were trembling too much to use the key, and he was seeing two locks instead of one, and he slowly slid to the ground.

Is this actually how it's happening?

I know I'm not long for this world, but I always expected a better exit. Something with fanfare and sacrifice and meaning.

Our so-called "immortality" is a conditional one. The instant we dare to touch something holy, it all goes, and there's no soul or afterlife for us castaways.

I wish I was human.

Wilbur struggled to look up at the sky.

It was still daytime, and the stars weren't out yet. That was a shame, he'd worked hard on those. He shivered.

I know we're doomed to fail come Doomsday. I know that there's no way out of Your ineffable plan. But I'm trying to make directorial choices with your script, trying to make a good story. This is a terrible ending.

It was quiet. That was probably for the best.

Do I deserve it?

Of course I do.

But I didn't always, and you're not blameless either.

I hope that Tommy's too young to remember me.

The world was cold, but peacefully quiet, and the pain was mostly beyond his reach. This wasn't bad, all things considered. Wilbur's eyes closed.

A few minutes later, he was rudely awakened by Phil shaking him.

"Are you okay? I mean, obviously you’re not, but can you stand?". He opened one eye.

"I'm fine.". Phil laughed at that. Part of Wilbur considered laughing along, while what was left of his common sense informed him that Phil sounded like he was laughing out of shock.

"Fine? Will, there were a few seconds where I thought you were dead!"

"Well, as you can see, I'm not. If you could just unlock the door, that would be great.". The door unlocked behind him.

He struggled to rise to his feet, and Phil caught his arm, supporting him.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"Minor business conflict."

"There is a hole in your hand.”

"That happens at my job sometimes. I'm in the mafia."

"Have you considered other career options?"

"The insurance benefits are too good.". Phil set Wilbur down on a couch and left the room. As was to be expected.

Wilbur reached under the couch cushions to grab a hidden cigarette lighter.

He had no intention of smoking while bleeding out, obviously.

The cigarette lighter had been modified slightly, another one of Fundy's inventions.

The fire of the lighter was no regular thing, but rather hellfire. Hopefully, that would be enough of a cure.

The warmth of the hellfire slowly and painfully chipped away at the ice and purity, and he took a few seconds to internally mock god.

Maybe a bit of a hubris-related thing to do, but Wilbur was glad to live another day, and that meant spite.

For whatever reason, Phil stuck around to make sure he was okay.

Wilbur hadn't quite expected that.

He wasn't in the best state, but Phil seemed to believe that it was better for him to be talking than unconscious.

So, in a half-delirious state, he rambled about mercy, and free will, and falling.

And when he whispered that he missed flying, he could have sworn that Phil agreed.

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Anyway, aside from dramatic moments like those, life was okay.

Wilbur was there for every milestone in Tommy's life, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He was there for his first few words when Tommy was a baby (the first word was "kaboom", but the second was "Wilby").

He was there for his first steps, and once Tommy learned to walk there was no stopping him from running everywhere.

He was there for preschool graduations and first days of kindergarten and beyond.

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Of course, Wilbur's job was to teach the kid to want to kill god, and he tried to do that too.

From the moment Tommy learned how to read, Wilbur kept trying to get him to read Paradise Lost. Sadly, he was six and Milton wasn't to his taste at the moment.

Wilbur wasn't sure how well he did on that front, but he tried.

Either way, he wasn't sure if he raised a suitably evil kid, but he raised a good one.

Not good as in morally, obviously. Tommy was still a rascal at times, but he was the rascal that Wilbur cared about.

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Wilbur was the one to teach him how to ride a bike.

Tommy was so determined to learn how to do it, and he kept getting up even when his knees were scratched up from crashing.

When putting on band-aids, sometimes Wilbur would slightly heal him. Not so much that he wouldn't know to be careful, but just enough to ease the pain a bit.

Wilbur also taught him other valuable life skills like lock picking, lying, good taste in music, and how to pick pockets. The stuff every kid needed to know!

His reports to the Lords of Hell became less clinical, and more chatting about Tommy finally figured out how to ride a bike, and he's getting good grades in language arts, and he likes musicals too, and he's such a wonderful kid.

They'd mostly stare in confusion, and awkwardly ask him how that was helping Satan.

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And he knew that every birthday meant that the two of them were one year closer to Doomsday.

And he knew that he wasn't going to survive Doomsday.

Wilbur had a feeling since the moment he first fell that he'd have to redeem himself or go out in a blaze of glory. And, frankly, he felt too bitter towards his creator to aim for a redemption arc.

So, when Tommy turned eight, he knew that he had eight years left to live.

And when he was ten, he knew he had six, and so on.

That didn't stop Wilbur from baking a cake for him and singing.

He cared about Tommy quickly, and he later grew to care for Phil, and maybe even he would be vaguely upset if That Weird Guy died.

Wilbur couldn't call this place a home, and he couldn't say they were his family, but it was the closest he'd ever gotten to that sort of thing.

And sometimes, he could fool himself into thinking it could stay like this.

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Once, he'd made the mistake of trying to taunt Schlatt about it.

They'd been talking, and Schlatt made one too many jabs about how he spent his days babysitting.

He'd mocked the patch that Tommy had clumsily sewed into his new trenchcoat, and Wilbur got a bit annoyed.

"At least I've been doing my job and spending time with the antichrist! You've been completely useless down here, just sitting around in that lawn chair and drinking. I mean, it makes everything easier for me, but the fact still remains that I've been getting stuff done while you've been treating this like a paid vacation.".

Schlatt looked him dead in the eyes, setting down his glass.

"You think that you were smart, getting close to their family? Turning up the charm, making friends, stealing my goddamn Hot Pockets (which I'm still mad about)?". He laughed in his face.

"Wilbur, you're a fucking moron. You say that I haven't spent enough time around the family? You've spent way too much, and it's given you a bleeding heart."

"I don't have a-"

"Tommy's going to die in six years, you know. Kid's cute, but he's not going to survive the end of the world. He's a child, and God is God, and he's going to get smote like burnt chicken. It's just the facts.". Wilbur recoiled from him, hissing his next words through his teeth.

"Shut up."

"Did you even think about anything besides your own stupid martyrdom? Or were you too busy playing house and getting attachments? Face it, Wilbur: It's lunchboxes today, graves tomorrow.".

For once, Wilbur had nothing to say. No clever response, nothing. Just pure panic.

He touched the patch on his trench coat covering his heart, looking to the sky.

Please. I know you're a bastard. I know you hate me, and I hate you, and that can't change. But if you gave me some sign, some promise that you wouldn't hurt Tommy, I'd do anything.

As always, there was no response.

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Wilbur cared about Tommy, and he knew, and even if it was a weakness he couldn't stop.

All of Tommy's family cared about him, wanting him protected and alive.

But Schlatt?

Schlatt didn't give a damn about Tommy, and he never would.

There was no care weighing him down. And that meant that he had infinitely more options than everyone else.

#dream smp #dsmp #good omens au #beware the drafts of march #c!wilbur #sbi #sbi family dynamic #writing #fan fiction #wilbur soot

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #469

“i am hungry for some unrest / i wanna push it beyond a peaceful protest”

Do you have any goats? Can't say I do. Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? No. Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? As a protected species, I'd say a panda. Do you like BBQ sauce? I hate it. Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? No. Does your house have a pool? No. Do you own an iPad? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? A LOT. Many years ago, I was very conservative, now I'm definitely more liberal. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? I'd really love to see great improvements in nature and wildlife conservation. Are you and your SO Facebook official? We're like... half official? He never checks his notifications, EVER, so he hasn't verified our relationship status. Instead, it just says on my profile "in a relationship with ____ (pending)." I don't mind, though. "Facebook official" doesn't mean much to me at all. What matters is that we know. Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? I've swum in them, but I most certainly haven't bathed in one. Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? No. I avoid chips because I'll eat too many. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop for like two months, but keep in mind I was VERY rarely on the schedule, so I probably didn't even work for a week's time in total. Can you drive? I can, but I don't do it well and don't have my license. My permit's even long expired. I plan on forcing myself to practice and get licensed once I get new glasses, though (whenever I can afford that...). Right now I couldn't even pass the vision test. I just have to do it; public transport isn't big here AT ALL, and I can't keep relying on others to get me everywhere. Do you spend too much time online? Way, way too much. Extremely high odds are, if I'm conscious, I'm on the computer. I want to change that so badly and experience other things in life way more regularly, it's just an addiction that has been an issue since I was first exposed to the Internet. Do you like to travel? I barely ever get to do it, but yes, I love it. How did you first notice the last person you kissed? Well, it's kinda hard NOT to subconsciously notice the guy who played the fuckin' huge-ass tuba in band, ha ha. Why will/won’t you and your ex get back together? THE ex, because 1.) I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me, and 2.) because I'd be much too worried he'd leave again if I relapse with my depression badly enough. Do you use the words "I love you" too lightly? Definitely not. Do you like pizza? Legit, are there people who don't like pizza???? Do you use an alarm clock? I use my phone for that. Name something that is currently making you happy. Girt is making me really, really happy. I'm still not happy at my core, but, y'know. A person can't do that, anyway. What do you want for Christmas this year? Stiiiill a 40 gallon for Venus with proper equipment... I need a fucking job. That's going to be my answer possibly past Christmas because I just completely rely on my parents financially. Are you excited for the holidays? Very, except for Thanksgiving. I'm way more hyped for Halloween and Christmas and all it entails than usual. Name one tattoo you would like to get someday. I'll give ya one I don't think I've mentioned. On top of one of my hands, over some sort of fiery graphic, I want "Gefährlich ist wer Schmerzen kennt" (translated to "whoever knows pain is dangerous") written in fine text. It's a lyric from the song "Feuer frei!" by Rammstein that I just find very powerful, and not necessarily in an dark way. Are you afraid of stink bugs? Yes, because they're a form of beetle, which tend to scare me. Do you wear contact lenses? No, but I wish. :/ There are piercings I want that would look stupid with glasses. One of my eyes has such bad vision that I need a weighted contact in it (don't ask me exactly what the difference is), and I could feel it way too clearly in my eye, and it made it heavy. Wearing those contacts did NOT last long; I went back to my glasses. Have you ever danced in the rain? No. What was your last dream about? Astonishingly, I don't remember. Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor's office. Do you feel like you're judged for your looks? Being someone who is by definition obese, I'm certain some people do. Do you fight with your parents a lot? No. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over. Why? I never have been. Do you like hot sauce? Yes. How bored are you right now? Very, very bored. As a side effect of depression, I experience severe anhedonia like... constantly, at least to some degree. No exaggeration. It makes my life a fucking drag. It's why I take surveys so much; the randomness of the questions is at least a momentary distraction. Do you think you would make a good model? Hell no. Even if I was in a physical shape for anyone to be interested in photographing me, I would feel WAY too awkward. Are you a good singer? No. Do the Emergency Alert System noises on TV freak you out? Yes, because I immediately assume it's a tornado warning. Describe your perfect date. Actually I'm planning something for Girt and me hopefully on Halloween (or if he has to work, at least close to) that is like absolutely effin' perfect for me. Carve some pumpkins together, make those Pillsbury Halloween cookies, and binge some spooky movies. :') Do your parents trust you? Yeah. Do you like pot roast? No. Have you ever thought about being a stripper? No. Are you flexible? No. Can you wiggle your nose? Nope. Have you ever played Mario Kart? Yes. My younger sister especially was sooo good at it; she doesn't even play video games and yet she was hooked on it for a while. How often do you go shopping for clothes? Almost never. I really, really need to for undergarments and pants now. Do you have a high IQ? I don't know my IQ, but I very much doubt it. Would you ride a motorcycle if you had the chance? No. They scare me. Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? yessssss Do you like frogs? I love those lil bug-eyed cuties!!! :') Are you afraid of dying? Not massively. I mean yeah, I don't want to die and the fear of the unknown is there, but I really don't think I'm as scared of it as most people. Do you like bananas? Yeah. Where's the last place you've been to out of state? Lake Gaston in Virginia. What are you listening to right now? I'm watching another playthrough of Fatal Frame 3. Gotta say it's probably my favorite that I've seen/played of the franchise now. Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? Mouse, for sure. Do you like steak? Yes. What was the best gift you've ever received? My late dog. Tell me one of your pet peeves. Consistently trying to make conversation with me when I have headphones on. It's a bitchy pet peeve, but a pet peeve nonetheless. Do you like to keep your nails painted? I don't paint my nails or care to. Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? I was a long time ago when I actually watched it. I wouldn't watch it now because I don't support the overly-conservative cast, having followed a couple on Facebook for a time. Have you ever played with Silly Putty? As a kid, for sure. I loved that stuff. Do you take in a lot of caffeine daily? Yes. :x Do you know a lot about history? Definitely not. Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. Would you rather play Xbox or PlayStation? I'm a PlayStation gal. Have you ever worked at a fast food place? No, and I neeeeever would. Hungry people are the worst. Do you like hot tubs? Meh, I have to be in the right mood. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? Not at this current moment. Are you good at doing fractions? NOOOOOOO, or doing ANY kind of math. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No. Would you rather get high or get drunk? I've never experienced either, but probably high. Being drunk is usually synonymous with being sloppy. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? AYEEEEEEEEE I'm the chick to ask! I love the first one, it's brilliant and loyal to the idea of the series but still unique from the original story of the pilot game. The second one is objectively fucking awful story-wise and is SO all over the place, but I can still enjoy it as an obsessed fan of that franchise. Did you ever want to be a doctor? I wanted to be a vet for a long time, if that counts. [TW: SUICIDE] The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? I probably cried some/was teared up to some degree when he visited me in the ER after my overdose. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 1 month? Is this written for a middle schooler? No shit I could, and have in the past on more than one occasion. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Is this the best year of your life? Nooo sir. Can you have more than one best friend? Yeah. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate. ooo: What are your full initials? BMD. Would you ever let your grandma set you up on a blind date? She's dead, but if she wasn't? HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO. Do you ever wonder if you will get in a car accident and die? As someone who is terrified of driving, absolutely. I'm primarily more concerned about becoming paralyzed from the neck down, though. I'd rather die than that. So your ex comes to you and says “I want you back”, what do you say? I'd probably say, "I'm happy to finally be able to say 'no'" or something along those lines. Maybe even just a simple "no." Which was worse for you: freshman year of high school or of college? College. I was so fucking depressed and lost. What is the last language you spoke, other than your first? German. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? Canada, yes, if it didn't mean leaving my family and now boyfriend. What is your favourite food from your culture? Burgers. @_@ Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? Britt. If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan. I found her on Facebook before and sent her two messages over the past something years, but she never responded. It's frustrating, like I was so close to reuniting with her, but not close enough. Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair. Have you ever been to a nursing home? Yes, with my mother to visit someone.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''unnatural selection'' by muse

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loki-the-trikster-god · 3 years

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welcome off anon clyde!

tis me! @ghost-pizza ! i bet ur surprised... maybe? probably not tbh but that’s okay!

ooh i will definitely listen to that it sounds interesting. yeah everyone’s done their shit, even me, no matter how much of a cinnamon roll i seem like. i have a dark side... *tries to ominously retreat into a dark corner but trips over feet*

yes 👏 play👏adaptation👏

that would be smart tbh

the serpent... thing with wings.... why can’t i remember that i swear i’m gonna google it and be like crap i should have known.

*pauses while googling serpent thing*

asdf it’s an occamy it was in the first fantastic beasts movie crap i should have known ugh

ahhhhh u seem like that person. lucky for u, i feel nOtHiNg (i seriously think i’m broken i have like no feelings at all they are repressed to the point of no return hehe) so we are balanced.

comfort goat right here! tho i’m not too sure about the fur. i’m down for horns tho it’s like a crown (which i really want)

hehehehe “the egypt ones” lol those were okay i like magnus chase tho bc alex fierro was like my absolute gender envy icon tbh.

hmmmm ur not that much of a pretentious asshole, maybe a little pretentious but not an asshole bc u have ur own opinions it’s true but u don’t denounce others’ opinions which would make you a pretentious asshole, which you are not.

ah yes my beloved shadow and bone which i have not read but i need to read it sadly my library (i use the digital one) betrayed me and got rid of all the ya and kids books so now i hafta buy stuff if i want to read it so ughhhhhhhhh

omg one good thing about america: the bookstores! i love barnes and nobles it’s like indigo (the canadian version) but green! and i love green! i went there once it’s like almost as much of a heaven as indigo! i still prefer indigo bc of their aesthetically pleasing atmosphere but i love barnes and nobles too.

yeahh fair but i get massive gay vibes from like everyone in the entire musical sooooooo it’s okay. i mean, sincerely me is a freaking anthem like it’s so hilarious.

ooh i’ve never heard of either of those... must listen to new music

i am not a nazi (thankfully, hating people takes up a lot of energy and i don’t have much to spare) hehe sounds good amigo. ur not a creepy internet stalker that likes to lure in innocent children right (i mean i’m almost 100% sure but u know i gotta check).

gasp right i apologize i forgot about ur food thing forgive me i’m not ignorant just excited bc cookiessssssssss

you’ve

never

had

mcdonald’s?

*blinks* i have no idea what to say to that other than i want to hear about it when you do eventually have mcdonald’s

bc boyyyyyyyyyyy u don’t know what u haven’t experienced

tAcO bElL either??? asdf actually i don’t like taco bell too much but their cheese sauce is good so 🤷‍♀️

oreosssssss those are good

they make me think of the simon vs the homo sapiens agenda book bc simon loves oreos (i’m sorry i need gay fluff to survive and the ending of that is like the fluffiest thing ever)

hehe i’m in the same time zone as new york... i think? it’s eastern time i’m pretty sure...

i don’t have a question for u this time my brain hurts and i think the identity reveal will make for a long enough reply without the question :)

hehe identity reveal... i feel so powerful hehe

until next time :)

Heyyy clyde!! I didn’t know it was u but guessing gives me anxiety so I hadn’t been guessing. Happy to see u tho!! I love ur aesthetic.

(this is legally a joke) I honestly don’t think anyone has the right to talk abt shakespeare if they’re cishet. I don’t think that really hence the disclaimer I’m just tired of cishets they make it so boring god damn.

Lmao me trying to be intimidating but actually being a big doof lmaooo. But yeah we all have our shit.

OCCAMY that’s the one. They’re so pwettyyyyyy,,,,,,

I mean I’m pretty repressed too, but in a different way.... rip us man. I need a new therapist. The one I have now sucks. He’s a count your blessings guy and I don’t like him at all.

*sigh* horns are so badass. I have a tiara thing it’s v sparkly. It has blue stones and gold curls and it’s cool. I bought it with my dads credit card which I was not supposed to do but oh well, I deserved it.

Yes! Alex Fierro, a beginner’s guise to genderfluidity! Thank god for him or we’d all be fucked /hj

I’m glad you don’t think I’m an asshole and, frankly, what’s wrong with being a little pretentious? It makes me sexier 😌

That’s homophobia on ur library’s part (/j) but seriously some bs. I just haven’t had time to read anything in ages but my god I miss it. I’m reading the wheel of time series rn which is like lord of the rings but with more sex or game of thrones with less sex, whichever way you’d like to look at it. None of it is graphic or anything you don’t have to like. Read it but people have affairs for sure. It’s a soap opera but fantasy and well written and tbh I love it. It’s also really dense tho lol.

Barnes and Nobles are the best place I’ve ever been,,,,,,, indigo sounds so aesthetic!!! And it’s my favorite color!!!! Canada comes through for me again lmao. I’ll have to go some time.

Definitely not a creepy internet stalker, definitely a minor and generally harmless. You’re right, hating people takes energy. Maybe that’s why I’m so tired all the time; from all the spite lolz

No worries man chocolate cookies are first on my list when this shit is over. I miss chocolate 💔 it was so god damn GOOD.

I will tell you when I have fast food for sure lmao. I just don’t ever go anywhere, my mom is an Eat Healthy person, and I’ve got my food stuff so I don’t get an opportunity. I don’t eat red meat but I’ve been coveting those McDonald’s fish sandwiches if I’m being honest I’ll have to spring for one after theater some time, there’s a McDonald’s down the street. I also don’t do spicy food and I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get a taste for it but I’ll keep the cheese sauce thing in mind.

Dude that book is so good I love it so MUCH! And also the movie wasn’t terrible which is always fun!!! I love them both even tho they remind me of my terrible ex lmaoooooo she can’t ruin them for me they’re so CUTE. Wow do I randomly dump facts about my backstory like a dungeons and dragons npc lmao

OO ok timezone buddies!! I live lower down the coast than New York but same time zone so yay!! That means I can tell u to sleep!!!!!!

Omg you do you seem like a really cool morally ambiguous superhero with the whole identity reveal thing!!! I love ur aesthetic as I said and I also love ur little name!! Hiiii ghostie!!!! I’m gonna order pizza later. It’s tasty. What a non sequitur that was lolol

Anyhow, lovely to see you bro!! Until next time :))

#loki stuff #its clyde!#tw food mention #long post #gonna start putting those too just in case someone is losing it

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starf · 4 years

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StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2019

here it goes here it goes here it goes again

Welcome to the end of the decade! Well we’re already here in 2020, but for me that means it’s time to check out the albums of yesteryear. I know you’re all always so eager to get your lists out in early December, but guess what dummies, December is still part of 2019!

Ahh, you know I love you though. And 2019 was kinda weird. Usually I find myself having some pretty heavy hitters at the end of the year, sometimes even up into mid or late December, but 2019 was extremely front loaded. While I think only one of them made the top ten, there were a good handful of albums I was debating that came out all the way back in January. Crazy.

Anyway, enough talking about the process. Let’s get to the albums!

10. Laura Stevenson - The Big Freeze

Laura Stevenson returns to a more ethereal and atmospheric sound on The Big Freeze, and it definitely sets a mood and establishes a tone. True to its name, putting this album on in the dead of winter is an experience that can really take you to some other unworldly place.

9. Billie Eilish - When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go?

I was surprised that I liked this album as much as I did. I kept hearing her name and thinking “yeah I’ll get around to checking her out, I guess.” And then one day my girlfriend put on “Bad Guy” and I was immediately intrigued by Billie’s vocal style. Upon listening to the entire album I was blown away by how interesting and innovative a mega-hit pop album could be.

8. Hobo Johnson - The Fall of Hobo Johnson

For some reason I guess this is a controversial pick? But I don’t get it, this is just a cool album. I understand the general gripe some people have with Hobo Johnson based solely on “Peach Scone,” but if you haven’t even given this new album a chance I would suggest that you at least give it that much. This album feels like a more unhinged and eccentric Watsky, but in a really good way. It also has one of my favorite closing songs I’ve heard on an album in awhile.

7. Microwave - Death Is A Warm Blanket

In 2016 Microwave put out an album called Much Love which was my introduction to them as a band. I immediately fell in love with that album and even had it on my top ten that year. So naturally I was super stoked to hear their new album, and boy, it did not disappoint. What it did do however is surprise me beyond my wildest expectations for this band. When I thought they would zig, they zagged hard. Death Is A Warm Blanket is a much noisier, harsh, and visceral record from the band. And they wear the look well.

6. Chris Farren - Born Hot

There’s some sort of weird formatting error happening here so excuse that. Anyway welcome to another perfect album from none other than punk celebrity Chris Farren. Born Hot really takes everything Chris Farren has built up in his brand the last few years and cranks it up to the logical extreme. From the wacky title and identity of the album itself, to the non conventional merchandise accompanying it (an oven mitt, “Born Hot Sauce,” etc.) to the method of teasing the album before its release (hearing an entire song via the “1-800-BORN-HOT” line), this is an album that tackles serious themes under the veil of comedy. And the tunes are pretty great, too!

5. FIDLAR - Almost Free

I feel like I’m going to catch flak for this choice as well, but I don’t care. It’s my list and I’m going to do what I want. Seriously though, Almost Free is a good album and I feel like those who don’t like it are the same type of people who can’t handle change in music. FIDLAR adds a bit of pop influence on this album, but I think it works beautifully. Almost Free is instantly catchy, but still raucous and juvenile in every way I would want to hear from FIDLAR.

4. Malibu Ken - Malibu Ken

Hip Hop’s GOAT is back with another fantastic side project. This time Aesop Rock has teamed up with Tobacco to create an album that is as fun to listen to as its album cover is gross. Aes comes through, as usual, with dense and sometimes coded lyrics that are a thrill to comb through and decipher. The difference is that on Malibu Ken they’re laid over some buttery smooth synth laden beats that create a wonderful backdrop to everything that’s happening here.

3. Telethon - Hard Pop

Telethon’s last album was an absolute beast, a five act rock opera that spanned an hour and a half and told a winding story that won my heart (and ears) immediately. Unfortunately not everyone is me, and the energy of creating such an epic album is probably not easily replicated, so Telethon has peeled back on their latest offering of Hard Pop. Of course, that’s just the breath of air I think we all needed from the band after such a densely packed album as The Grand Spontanean. This new album features the band truly coming into their own brand of sound and owning it, all the way down to the title of the album. It’s catchy, it’s verbose, and it’s absolutely worth your time.

2. K.Flay - Solutions

I’ve been following K.Flay’s music career for nearly a decade now and I’ve got to say, it’s been a wild ride and such a pleasure to see her grow and find her audience. Solutions is perhaps the most upbeat and optimistic album from her, and it’s not only nice to see an artist break out of a rut, but it’s just a damn good and fun album. Solutions is a fun time, and an amazing collection of summer jams.

1. PUP - Morbid Stuff

You know I wasn’t sure if this was going to be my album of the year, but the more and more I thought about it the more it made sense. Morbid Stuff is an album that I feel like I’ve had in my collection for years, despite being less than a year old at this point. PUP comes through on their “difficult third release” and crafts an album that only continues to elevate their signature sound. I’m ecstatic to see them on an upward trajectory and hope that they only continue to impress.

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kat-feinated · 4 years

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My favorite Denver restaurants

How was your week?

My week included being invited to have a threesome with two of my work clients, who are both meth addicts and lost custody of their child due to said meth addiction.

My boss asked me to send the text to her and just replied “FOR GOD SAKE” and I feel like that’s the perfect summary of my year.

Speaking of meth, we finally finished watching “Tiger King” this week. I know I know, that show is so one month ago. But I have a lot of thoughts that I need to share with the world.

1. Did anyone else find Joe really sympathetic and felt bad for him? Yes, I know he’s unstable and probably killed animals and stuff but I found him...endearing!?

2. Doc Antle is the creepiest ever ever ever.

3. Jeff Lowe sucks. And his wife is way too young for him. And THE WHOLE THING WITH THE NANNY I JUST CAN’T.

4. The guy with no legs whose name I can’t remember was my favorite character. And just seems so normal. How did he end up there!?

5. I’m proud of Saff for standing up for Joe in the aftershow...everyone else just sold him down the river!

6. Howard Baskin. Howard Baskin singing. Howard Baskin’s wedding photos with Carole Baskin. The show is worth watching just for Howard Baskin.

7. Do I think Carole murdered her husband and fed him to a tiger? Yes. Would I still hang out with her in a heartbeat? ABSOLUTELY.

8. I’m extremely mad that I didn’t come up with “hey all you cool cats and kittens”. And now it’s already over-used.

Do you miss eating at restaurants as much as I do? (Probably not because you’re probably a normal person who has friends and other hobbies). I miss restaurants so much it HURTS. I miss looking up menus and deciding what I’m going to order days before I go. I miss people-watching and commenting on everyone else’s food. I miss kind servers bringing me baskets of bread and drinks that I didn’t make. I MISS RESTAURANTS YOU GUYS.

So, while I’m eagerly waiting for restaurants to start re-opening, I thought it would be fun to share my very favorite places to eat in Denver. Share this list with your favorite Denver local! Or better yet, come visit Denver and try these spots out (and invite me!!).

Cuba Cuba: This was the first restaurant I tried in Denver, because it’s across the street from our old apartment. It’s located in an adorable blue bungalow but is surprisingly spacious on the inside. For drinks, order their house made mojitos or a pina colada. For appetizers, order the plantain chips with guacamole and garlic sauce (YUM) or the empanadas. Everything I’ve eaten there for dinner has been delicious, but I especially love the coconut shrimp and the chimichurri steak.

Perfect for: a date night or girls’ night where you feel like getting a little dressed up (but you’d be fine going there dressed more casually).

Rioja: This is my mom’s favorite Denver restaurant, and she insists we go every single time she’s in town. It’s located in Larimer Square, the cutest and most charming street in downtown Denver. It’s a bunch of old Victorian buildings that have been converted into restaurants and shops, and the street is decorated with twinkly lights and Colorado state flags so it’s a great spot to get a touristy picture when you visit.

The menu changes constantly, so it’s hard to recommend exactly what to order, but you can’t go wrong with the pasta dishes. They are known for their artichoke tortelloni and it’s honestly the best pasta I’ve ever eaten in my life. Last time we also ordered the tagliatelle and clams which was fantastic. For starters, order the smoked pear and raclette if it’s available-so yummy.

Also, Rioja makes all their bread in house, and it’s probably our favorite part of the restaurant. Waiters literally come around with a giant tray of bread and I always try every single type. The lavender sourdough and rosemary biscuit are life-changing.

Perfect for: when your parents come visit (and pay!) or a special occasion like an anniversary or birthday dinner. It is on the pricey side.

Work & Class: This is probably the Denver restaurant I’ve eaten at the most. Located in the very hip Five Points neighborhood, Work & Class is always busy and does not take reservations, so I would recommend going on a random weeknight vs. a Friday or Saturday. If you do go on the weekend, plan on an hour plus wait-the good news is you’re surrounded by bars and breweries to help pass the time.

Work & Class is a South American/American fusion restaurant, and everything is served tapas (small plates) style, so go with someone you are cool sharing with. They have fabulous in-house cocktails which change seasonally, so definitely order one while you peruse the menu. It’s hard to make food recommendations since I’ve probably tried everything on the menu and have never been disappointed, but some of my favorites include: the lamb, the empanadas, the mac & cheese, and any of their vegetable side dishes.

Perfect for: your group of friends who you’re comfortable sharing with (eating off of each other’s plates!).

Mercantile Dining & Provisions: This is another spot that my mom insists on visiting every time she comes to Denver. It’s located in Union Station in downtown Denver, which is itself a great spot to visit. It’s an old train station (that is still a working train station) but also home to a hotel, an ice cream parlor, a bookshop, a florist, and every other small adorable business you can imagine.

Mercantile serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner (I’ve had all 3 there), but my mom and I have created what we believe is the perfect system for dining there. We always go on the day she is leaving town, since she can take the train from Union Station to the Denver Airport after our meal. We try to go around 11am, and we order a raspberry muffin. My mom doesn’t even like muffins, but these are no ordinary muffins-not too sweet, perfectly fluffy, moist (I’M SORRY) -just sheer perfection. After sitting and people watching for about an hour, we then order a short rib sandwich around noon, as soon as they start serving their lunch menu (it gets quite busy at this time). SO GOOD. SO TASTY. Plus, the restaurant itself is so cute-it looks like Joanna Gaines designed the perfect black-and-white chic modern farmhouse.

Perfect for: brunch/lunch after a morning exploring downtown Denver, or a quick bite before catching the train to the airport.

Lowdown Brewery: Is it cheating that this is actually a brewery and not a restaurant? I say it counts because they make all their food in house. I don’t always love going to the popular breweries around Denver because they’re usually packed. I’ve never seen Lowdown packed and in my opinion it’s the best brewery in Denver in terms of food and ambience-and the beer is good too!

Not only do they make and sell their own beers, but their menu always features a seasonally rotating list of Colorado beers as well. They have a lot of IPA’s (which I despise but everyone else seems to love). I’ve tried their blood orange wheat, selfish (pale ale), and their blackberry sour and have enjoyed all three. In terms of food, you can’t go wrong with any of their pizzas, salads, or sandwiches, but I personally can’t get enough of their beer cheese dip (served with broccoli, apple slices, and soft pretzel bites-I’M DROOLING).

Perfect for: sitting out on their patio with friends in the warm weather. Bring your dog!

El Five: El Five has one of the coolest views of downtown Denver, not to mention delicious food and drinks and great service. Their sangria is the best I’ve ever tasted, but they have tons of great cocktail, beer and wine choices if that’s not your thing (but also what is wrong with you). For appetizers, try the spreads of the med-a platter of house made pita, hummus, and veggies. For their traditional tapas, I’ve tried and enjoyed the patatas bravas, the shrimp & calamari, and the goat cheese croquettes. Then, of course, you must try their paella. I’ve tried both the Valencian (made with rabbit confit!) and the seafood and would recommend either. Be prepared to log roll out of the restaurant when you’re finished because you will have gained 100 pounds.

Perfect for: a festive date night, dinner with your parents, drinks with your girlfriends-just be prepared for an expensive bill.

Stowaway: I’ve only been to Stowaway once, right before the shelter in place order started, but I’ve been dreaming about it ever since. First of all, it is tucked into the cutest former warehouse-turned-hipster-coffee shop/brunch spot, complete with exposed pipes and red brick walls. I AM HERE FOR IT.

We went on a Sunday morning with some friends who warned us to expect a bit of a wait. Fortunately, the Denver Central Market is just a few blocks away so we were able to enjoy some cocktails and/or coffee while we waited.

When we finally got in, I ordered the Colorful Colorado (an egg dish) because of the 8 million reviews I’d read ahead of time that told me I must order this dish or live a life of unending misery and regret (ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but it was something along those lines). I also split the fruit toast with Joshua because I have to order something sweet and something savory when I go to brunch (I know I have a problem, just leave me alone). Both were so freaking good. I can’t wait to go back soon and try everything on their menu (or more likely, order the same two dishes over and over again).

Perfect for: brunch with your favorite hipster friend.

Linger: This is the one restaurant on my list that I love more for the location/ambience than for the food, though the food is certainly tasty. Linger is located in my favorite neighborhood in Denver (LoHi or Lower Highlands) and the building it’s in USED TO BE A MORTUARY. Like, WHERE DEAD PEOPLE WOULD BE SENT AFTER THEY DIED. I personally find this so cool, and if this freaks you out, you would never know except that I just told you (sorry). It’s very airy inside with cozy mood lighting and exposed brick walls. This is another place that does small plates and they’re all globally-inspired street food dishes-the menu is literally divided by continent (i.e. Asia, Africa). For drinks, order the turmeric mule. For eating, you really can’t go wrong, but some dishes I’ve enjoyed include: the bao buns, the impossible burger persian sliders, the tuna tostadas, and the potato masala dosa. Skip dessert because right around the corner you’ll find Little Man Ice Cream-one of my favorite ice cream spots in the city.

Perfect for: a first date/date night, a girls’ night, or a summer brunch on their rooftop bar.

Snooze: Full disclosure-Snooze is a chain and is not just located in Denver; they have locations across Colorado and in a few other states including Texas and California. That being said, I just have to include it on my list because I believe it is completely worth the hype.

Because there is always a long wait (I’m talking 2 hours sometimes), we always go on a Monday morning when there’s a federal holiday that other people don’t get off, such as Columbus Day. Don’t kid yourself-there will still be a wait, but it will hopefully be closer to one hour. Plus, they give out free coffee while you wait!

I don’t even like pancakes, but I always order the pancakes here. ORDER THE DAMN PANCAKES PEOPLE. You can even get a pancake flight where you can sample three different types of pancakes (I highly recommend the blueberry danish pancakes and the sweet potato pancakes). If I’m in a savory mood, I’ll order the breakfast tacos with a side of one pancake.

Perfect for: brunch with your friend, brunch with family or anyone with kids, brunch with your arch nemesis, brunch with anyone.

Hopefully this list made you excited to go back to restaurants again in the future, instead of depressed! And please send me your best restaurant recommendations! These conversations are what I live for.

#denverrestaurants #denvereats #restaurants #food #foodie #denver #colorado #tigerking #carolebaskin #joeexotic

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whitewitchdani · 5 years

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Infinitely Different: Chapter 22

Read Chapter 21 Here

Word Count: 1,287

Pairing: Winchester!Sister x ???

Warnings: language

A/N: Chapter 22 is finally here! We’re nearing the end of the series. Let me know what you guys think and let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

Infinitely Different Masterlist

“Come on, don’t hold back.”

You looked at him incredulously, “Are you sure about this Damon?”

He smiled, “Most people here would pay for a chance to kick my ass and here I am actually offering for you.”

“I’ll give you $100 to take your place,” Stefan yelled from the driveway where he was tinkering with his car.

“$200,” Alaric said with a smile as he watched on from the back porch.

“Hey, hey! I wasn’t being literal. None of you are new vampires and need to learn how to fight so if you would be so kind as to shut the hell up, I’m going to teach her.”

“Damon you don’t really fight, just get really mad and rip peoples hearts out.” Caroline laughed as she exited the boarding house and sat next to Alaric to watch.

He shrugged as he knew Caroline was right, “Why are you here, Blondie?”

“Well I heard you were supposed to give Y/N the vampire fighting spiel so I wanted to see her kick your ass,” she said with a smile. “BUT the main reason I’m here is because someone’s birthday is this weekend and I wanna celebrate!”

All the color drained from your face, “Care, no.”

“Oh come on, Y/N! When have you ever thrown a big party for your birthday? Never? Exactly so let me throw you one. It’ll be so fun. Here at the boarding house Saturday night. I’ll get everything together. Ugh, this party is just what we all need and will be amazing!” She got up and headed back into the house.

“Care, wait!” But it was too late. She was already gone and knowing Caroline, would have at least half of the party planning done by the time she hit the end of the drive.

You turned back to Alaric and Damon, “A birthday party? Seriously? She does know I technically don’t age anymore right?”

Damon just shrugged, he was even more confused than you.

“I think Caroline is just trying to give all of us something to look forward to. Something where we can blow off steam and have some fun and forget what absolute hell the past week has been. And for Caroline, she loves planning so this is her way of decompressing.” Ric let out a breathy laugh at Caroline’s antics.

“That is not gonna blow off steam for me. If anything more steam will build up.” You sighed and ran a hand through your hair, contemplating your likelihood of missing that party. It was not high. You turned to Damon, “Alright, lets fight before I punch a civilian at this dumb party.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N/N. Don’t feel bad if you don’t do as well in this first round. Learning how to-”

Your right fist hitting his jaw interrupted his somewhat condescending spiel. The dark haired vampire stumbled backwards at your right hook, looking dumbfounded. He rubbed his jaw and let out a small laugh.

“You seem to forget this isn’t my first rodeo, Damon. Now I just get the added bonus of supernatural strength,” you said with a smile.

Damon countered with a punch of his own, which you blocked and delivered the same back to him, which he also blocked. You spun to kick him high and when he dodged it, took the spin low to knock his feet out from under him, something the new vampire strength made much easier.

As Damon’s back hit the ground, he let out an audible oof. When he made contact, you were on him in a flash pinning him to the ground.

You looked down at him with a smile, “What was that about me not doing well the first go-round?”

He looked at you sheepishly, “I may have miscalculated your abilities.”

With a smile, you bent down to kiss him on the cheek. When you sat back up, you patted where you had just kissed with your palm, “Remember that pretty boy. That’s an important life lesson: never underestimate a Winchester. Especially me.”

As you went to get off Damon and help him up, you heard three distinct sets of laughter. Turning you saw Stefan, Ric, and Dean all laughing fairly hard. Sam was there too trying his best not to join in.

“Y/N/N, that was awesome! The way you took him down, awe, I wish I would’ve had a camera. Proud brother moment for sure.”

You smiled, “Thanks Dean.”

“Yeah, yeah, you did great. But seeing Damon get taken down like that was priceless. Remind me to get you something nice for your birthday.” Stefan let out another laugh as he walked back into the house.

You turned to your brothers to see them both looking at each other with deer in headlights looks on their faces. Cocking your head, you looked at them funny, “What’s wrong with you tw-” You paused mid-sentence as you realized why they looked like they were in trouble, “You forgot my birthday didn’t you?”

“I-uh. Well...” Sam was floundering trying to come up with an excuse.

“It’s fine guys, you know I don’t really like celebrating my birthday normally. And even more so now that I, you know, don’t age.” You turned and walked into the house with your brothers close on your heels. “Besides, I think Caroline is going to give me enough birthday to last awhile.”

Dean looked at you confused, “What do you mean?”

You sat down on one of the couches and sighed, “She wants to throw me a party on Saturday. A big blowout where I’m assuming she’ll invite half the town.”

“Wow, for you? That’s really nice of her.” Sam commented as he and Dean sat down opposite you.

“Yeah I know which makes it ridiculously hard, if not impossible, to tell her I don’t want a birthday party. I’ve never been into partying, even in college.”

Dean scoffed, “What did you two even do at Stanford?” “Studied.” You and Sam said in unison. Dean rolled his eyes, “I don’t know how I’m related to either of you. Anyways, I think this will be good for you Y/N/N. Blow off some steam, be a kid for once you know?”

You sighed, “Maybe you’re right. Plus this party is just as much for everyone else as it is for me.”

“Is Elijah coming?” Sam asked almost in a whisper.

“I don’t know Sam, Caroline is doing all of the planning. Why?”

They both got quiet for a minute until Dean finally spoke, “We wanted to talk to you about Elijah.”

“Okay,” you said as you sat cross-legged on the couch, “What about Elijah?”

“We’ve been talking and were thinking maybe you should distance yourself from him. Especially romantically.”

You looked at Sam confused, “I don’t understand. When I told you about this originally it was fine, what’s changed?”

“His brother killed you Y/N, you do remember that right?”

You absentmindedly rubbed your neck at Dean’s remark, “You really think I forgot?”

“If Klaus finds out you’re alive, he’s gonna be pissed. And while Elijah may be all lovey with you now, Klaus is his family. I have no doubt in my mind that posh bloodsucker would choose Klaus over you, even if it meant putting you in danger. While I hate to admit it, the Original family is a bit like ours: we’d do anything for each other, anything.”

Dean’s words were churning around in your head as you sat there silent. While every part of you wanted to say he was wrong there was a part of you, the logical hunter part, that knew he was right. Klaus was Elijah’s blood, his brother. And while family doesn’t always end with blood, it sure as hell starts there.

Read Chapter 23 Here

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gearbike42 · 2 years

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