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soulonoscopys · 2 years

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Sam Winchester and the incorporation of the word “freak” into his self-concept

In Supernatural, the word “freak” is used to describe monsters. It is the divide between the hunters and the things they hunt. A freak is thus thought to be a supernatural being – dangerous and unnatural. Being a freak has a connotation of “otherness” but has also been linked to “evil” or “monster”.

Our self-concept consists of cognitive schemas in which we organise our past experiences and new information we encounter. This sets the basis for the way we construct who we are, and how we describe ourselves. I want to explore Sam’s incorporation of the word “freak” into his self-concept, and how it has shaped him throughout the years.

Sam has felt like a freak since he was a child, not fitting in anywhere in the normal world. This is often explained as a consequence of being raised as a hunter, but we also know that Sam didn’t feel normal as a kid. When he was a kid, he saw a picture of Sir Galahad kneeling with light streaming on his face, and he thought “I could never go on a quest like that because I’m not clean.” Maybe he knew deep down as a child that he had demon blood in him, and the evil of it, and that he wasn’t pure [8x21]. He doesn’t feel normal at home either, where he stands out because he wants a normal life instead of the hunting life like John and Dean.

Identifying with the word “freak”

Although we know Sam has felt like a freak in his childhood, the first time the word hits him specifically post-Stanford is in season 2 when he is getting psychic visions. Dean calls him a “supernatural freak” [2x05]. Sam’s immediate reaction is:

And he says, “So I’m a freak now?”

At the end of the season, he finds out that he has demon blood in his system, which strengthens the feeling of being different in an evil and unclean way. The label of freak is strengthened. He is the only one who knows about the demon blood, but his psychic visions are enough to alienate him from others. Gordon and Kubrik want to hunt him in season 3, and Kubrik even says: “You’re some kind of weirdo freak”

Although Sam feels different and identifies more with the word, he doesn’t call himself a freak. It is a sore point for him, but in season 4 when Dean comes back from hell and finds out Sam has been drinking demon blood, his brother’s view of him makes him falter. He has been feeling like a freak, but he has been trying his best to make the best out of it. Dean coming back and reprimanding him with a distasteful look hits Sam hard and he starts to see how drinking demon blood has caused him to further become a freak. Dean has been on his side since everybody else started calling him a freak, but now it’s very clear from the way Dean looks at him – “like I’m some kind of freak” [4x04]. Although he’s pointing out that his brother is alienating him, that is exactly how Sam feels about himself now. He talks about the demon blood in his veins like it’s a disease in him.

And that because of this, he’s “a whole new level of freak”. He now explicitly self-identifies with the word.

As season 4 continues, Sam fears that Dean will call him a monster (so much so that he hallucinates that Dean does). His fears are confirmed when Dean says that if he didn’t know him, he would hunt him. The lines of hunter and hunted have now disintegrated. What Dean has been implying for so long is now out: Sam is a freak; he is a monster. And his following words are clear enough, “it means you’re a monster, Sammy” [4x21]. This solidifies Sam’s belief that he is one, and that being a freak = being a monster. Yet, he holds on to hope, just as he has from season 1 – that maybe he can be saved. Maybe the more people he saves, the more ‘good’ he can be. And saving everyone from the apocalypse must be the best thing he can do, right? He is a freak – but there is hope that maybe he isn’t a freak, or that maybe he is a freak for a reason, and that he can therefore do good. Maybe he can prove that a freak can be good and that this word does not define him.

And so he rushes to kill Lilith, but he is still unsure, the guilt of fighting with his brother heavy on his shoulder. But when he listens to the tweaked voicemail, in which ‘Dean’ calls him a monster and a “bloodsucking freak”, he is heart-broken, and all hope is lost. He trudges on to kill Lilith because although he believes himself to be a freak and a monster now, he still carries the thought that maybe he can prove himself different. Dean arrives and Sam becomes ambivalent again, but Lilith knows what will get him back on the path:

Sure enough, this pushes Sam to complete the task.

Once Sam realizes that his actions bear the consequences of releasing Lucifer from Hell, it becomes clear to him that he indeed was not on a path of redemption or to save himself from the ‘monster’, but rather he has fully become a freak - which leads to his self-identification and acceptance of the word. The word “freak” is now fully incorporated into his self-concept

Acceptance of the word “freak”

Sam wants out in the start of season 5, believing himself to be unfit for the hunter life after what he’s done and who he is. If it wasn’t clear enough that he has accepted himself as a freak, he says “Last time I wanted to be normal. This time I know I’m a freak” when he faces Lucifer in [5x03]. He continues season 5 believing himself to be a freak, and that the only way he can atone for what he’s done is to sacrifice himself to stop the Apocalypse. The act is not a heroic one in Sam’s mind, like killing Lilith was supposed to be. But rather it is atonement, repentance and making things right – he was the one who started the Apocalypse, and it is his responsibility to end it.

When he comes back from Hell, he is soulless – and this Sam does not believe he is a freak. Even though things are wrong with him, his self-view is different. His self-concept includes cognitive descriptions – being a good hunter, being smart but there are no affective descriptions that he applies to himself. He doesn’t feel like a freak (because he is not able to feel anything), and so he doesn’t carry that baggage with him.

When his soul is restored, he struggles mentally with images of Lucifer. The amount of torture he has been through cannot be imagined, nor what kind of negative self-conceptions about himself he has heard from Lucifer in the Cage. Nevertheless, we see a change in Sam’s relationship with the word “freak” in season 7. His mental health is so far off, he believes he is not even close to being considered ‘normal’ – and so along with his hell experience and being back with hallucinations tormenting him – being a freak still applies, and rather he believes will always apply to him. Although this time with a little redefinition.

Although the word “freak” has always carried a negative connotation, there was one person in Sam’s past who validated him being a freak – Amy Pond, the kitsune. It is so interesting how he and Amy connect over being freaks [7x03]. Amy believes herself to have a darkness in her that she is controlling in order to live a normal life and not hurt others. Even at a young age, Sam connects with that. Meeting Amy again in this episode, Sam is reminded of her definition of freak. She faced the word head-on and told Sam: “Sam, you are a freak” But she continued to associate the word with famous and talented people. Amy’s definition of freaks goes something like this: “All the coolest people are freaks”

But being reminded of Amy’s definition of freak, and having suffered from hallucinations for so long, these two experiences come together towards his acceptance of this part of him and creating a new definition for himself. He tells Dean that although he is a freak, it is not the same as being dangerous. Sam has now made his own associations of the word freak and has tweaked the word to fit him and his conception of himself. Him being a freak no longer means he is something to hunt down, it means he’s “different” and “other”, and it does not mean he poses a threat to the people around him. Not anymore. He might look like a monster, but he does not act like one.

He has been running from the word for so long, but it always comes back to chase him down. He’s not running away from it anymore, nor does he have hope that one day he won’t be a freak. He doesn’t get defensive like before, but instead tells Dean he can say it to him. “I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to be normal. Come on, I’m not normal. All the crap I’ve done. I’m a grade-A freak” [7x03].

Although he is able to view the word differently, that is not the case for Dean. Sam reacts immediately when Dean calls Amy a freak, but he invites his brother to say the word to him. Sam knows the word lives implicitly between him and Dean. Dean views the world in monsters and not-monsters, freaks and not-freaks. Sam is aware of this, but he invites Dean to speak his mind, to utter the word out loud so it surfaces in the literal reality instead of floating in the invisible between them. Being viewed as a freak by his brother is something Sam has accepted.

Dean’s view of him has always had immense power over Sam. We perceive the people around us to be mirrors of how we are, and thus their assumptions of us are incorporated into our self-concept and thought to be truths. Dean’s view of Sam as different and a freak has carried throughout the seasons, but it isn’t until Dean tells Sam in season 8 that there’s nothing “past or present, that I would put in front of you” that he reassures Sam he has worth and value, that his brother does not despise him despite (what Sam perceives to be) his shortcomings.

Reconstruction of the word “freak”

Although he starts redefining the word freak in season 7, I believe his true reconstruction of the word happens after the trials. He has tried to purify himself through the trials, and the demon blood in him has always been such an important aspect of why he feels like and is viewed as a freak.

This reconstruction takes time over the later seasons. When Sam is captured by the British Men of Letters, they make him hallucinate and I would argue that it exacerbates his deepest fears (letting people down, for example). Here, Sam hears Dean’s voice repeatedly telling him: “You’re the freak, you’re the freak, you’re the freak” [12x01]

Sam is more assured in Dean’s view of him by now, as Dean has expressed belief in him since season 8. Yet, this is still a nightmare to hear. Although this is one of Sam’s greatest fears, he is able to see through the illusion and he does not let any fear of the word affect his decision-making. Later in the season, he tells Magda (a psychic) that his powers (and the demon blood) were a part of him, and it didn’t make him evil. It just made him who he was. He has now constructed the word freak even more differently, viewing it as a part of him, but not necessarily a negative part like he has before. He used to believe it was an evil monstrous part of him, then he understood it as a monstrous but not dangerous part. Now, it’s just a part of him. It does not exclude the good in him, as he says that it just made him who he already was [12x04]

In the same season, he seems tentative with Mary, worried she might not love him. He is after all the child with the demon blood. Her love and regret at her choices in the end of the season confirms to him that he is loved by his mother, providing further healing. Dean shows belief in him, as a hunter, as a leader, and in his ability to make decisions. This is important to Sam, who lost Dean’s trust and has been reliant on making decisions based on his brother.

In season 13, Sam relates to Jack now being called the “freak”. Jack is scared that he might be evil, that his powers dictate his path – and Sam can relate to that. He says, “I know what it feels like to feel like you don’t belong, to feel there’s this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do” [13x03]

But Dean calls Jack a freak and threatens to kill him, which makes Sam furious partly because he knows firsthand how Dean’s words can hurt. Dean says that he knows it’s going to end bad with this freak. Sam immediately reacts with “I didn’t end bad when I was the ‘freak’” [13x03]. No one believed in him or understood what he was going through, how being alienated took a toll on his self-view. He gives Jack the understanding he never received.

Sam also shows Jack the compassion he wasn’t given. When Sam was considered the freak, he was viewed as evil and he tried to turn this evil into good. He tried to save as many people as he could, trying to make his powers useful. When Jack finds out that Sam wants to try using his powers in order to save Mary, Sam assures him that even if that isn’t possible, Jack has inherent value. Sam tells Jack the words that would have helped him when he was struggling. “If that doesn’t work, it’s okay, because I do care about you” [13x04]. Jack’s value is not dependent on his powers, nor does he need to prove himself to make up for the acclaimed darkness in him. Sam doesn’t want Jack to internalise what he himself did – that he has to compensate for evil in him. But rather that the goodness lies already within him, and he just needs to choose to act on it.

This lesson is also what has shaped Sam’s self-concept towards a more positive development – that he is who he chooses to be. And thus, he can reshape his self-concept, and in which way the word “freak” applies to him - and in which ways it doesn’t.

#i can now rest in peace the brainworms have settled #so i'm a freak now?#there's so many negative things in his self-concept #but this is only about his journey with being called and believing that he is a freak #sam and his self-view #i'm obsessed with him okay #sam winchester #soulonoscopy meta #sam studies #spn #supernatural #sam love club #sam winchester meta #moose meta

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seventh-district · 5 days

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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

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staryuee · 4 months

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Hii friend <3

I dont know really know if requests are still open but i wanted to ask if you could do any genshin characters with a rude s/o?

If not you're always aloud to delete the request :)

HOW YOU MAD AT ME, ‘CUZ I’M CUNT, BITCH?

꒰warnings꒱ cursing…obviously LOL

⠀꒲ ` synopsis . . . you wouldn’t call yourself rude just…”free-spirited” and liberal in your word choices~! ^_−☆

⠀꒲ ` characters . . . eula, xiao, thoma, ei, furina, navia, wriothesley

⠀꒲ ` notes . . . if i had a victorian era shilling for the amount of times my friend has called me rude after i’ve made a comment about something i would be the next ebenezer scrooge (⊙_⊙)

EULA — 优菈

now while eula would normally abhor at the foul language and insults that so easily spew from your precious lips, she actually can’t help but be oddly bemused.

i mean her expectations for linguistics are awfully high, one mustn’t speak with little eloquence but your brashness was oddly…charming, and refreshing in a way. you weren’t afraid to offend people, and simply enjoyed the motto of “i won’t apologise for what i said, i’ll apologise for how it made you feel.”

eula is of course someone who’s treated like the poster-woman for the concept of rudeness given her past and current feigned ego, so honestly you sort of make her feel better about herself — not in a negative way, in the way that she just simply doesn’t feel that lonely anymore.

if anyone has so much as a word to speak against you due to something you’ve said, they can speak to her first. the entirety of teyvat is allowed to shudder if she so much as so breathes, but when it comes to you? vengeance will be severed with a side of wine.

XIAO — 魈

stop. please. xiao is already overwhelmed enough by the varieties of his duties, all his patrolling — and now he has to make sure his lover isn’t in an argument with someone or being threatened to literal death.

he frankly doesn’t really care about the way you speak, sure it’s surprising at first since the majority of people in liyue hold themselves in a way that seems a bit more…calm, but then again sometimes that within itself can be seen as a rude attempt at pacification of genuine feelings.

you’ve never been mean or rude to him, directly at least, so he literally doesn’t care how brutal or venomous your words are, so long as you don’t get yourself in too much trouble. people haven’t seen the yaksha so an edge whenever a person opens their mouth since, well, ever.

he’s never brought up your attitude or personality; he loves you wholly, even if some parts of you are a bit more prickly than rosy.

THOMA — 托马

“haha, they were just joking!” you ticked off another five on your little notepad with a careful swoosh of your pen.

thoma has had to repeat that very phrase so much to the point you’ve been keeping a safe tally on a notepad of whenever he says it. to be honest, you don’t even believe five can be multiplied this many times…

your rudeness and foul language comes as an innate package, and thoma has no problem in neatly tying that package up with a little bow to placate whoever you managed to horribly offend that day. you fear that one day, if thoma isn’t there, you’ll find yourself being interrogated by kujo sara, maybe in a more lucky scenario heizou, herself.

“thoma can you do this f—“

“no.”

“i— wasn’t asking you??”

“you didn’t need to, now fuck off (๑･̑◡･̑๑). don’t be incompetent and you wouldn’t have to ask someone else to constantly do shit for you.”

RAIDEN EI — 影

if not directed to herself directly, she finds you absolutely amusing. she literally cannot be a spokesperson against rudeness after her uhum many self-made and self-fulfilled tragedies, plus she herself can be rather verbally off putting therefore, she has little problems with how you address others.

she does, however, keep a very keen eye on you to make sure you don’t stir up trouble with the wrong crowd.

but, hey! the great thing about dating a highly revered archon is the fact literally no-one will speak out against you.

“[name] told me to kill myself when i said hi in the morning…” and guess what? all of a sudden they have a long voyage to the fiery volcanoes of natlan planned out. criticism is only allowed if it’s aimed at her, not you — you’re basically an extension of her, if anyone so much so demeans you because of your attitude, it’s almost like they’re disrespecting the electro archon herself.

that’s a crime the citizens of inazuma have long learned the lesson of.

FURINA — 芙宁娜

she loves you purely for the theatrics and dramatics you always managed to find yourself in. it always seems like drama follows you wherever you simply step — and hey, she’s an actress, it’s no wonder she’s so easily charmed and swayed with the way your voice rings out blunt responses like it were second nature.

and to be fair, she’s a massive instigator of conflict. on the sidelines of course. so when you perhaps “accidentally” rub someone the wrong way, she can’t help but use sarcasm to throw fuel into the fire and watch the hellish flames burn as she kicks back with a cup of tea and a slice of cake (you know, like a true mirror to marie antoinette)

i think your duo would be even funnier and more undoubtedly chaotic if you have british humour and or slang equipped because let’s be so real if this was modern furina would force neuvillette to act like her roadman guard-dog while she sold 50p sweets during break time to the year 8s. throw in a little “yute” or “op” and she has heart eyes all over you (i promise this is all for the sake of comedy…)

NAVIA — 娜维娅

the best part of being in a relationship is being able to chat shit about anyone and everything, because well, you’re each-other’s everything already, why rely on the kindness of strangers for validation?

you and navia do the thing where you’ll subconsciously glance at each-other from the corners of your eyes when someone (or people) say some dumb silly shit. the problem being, neither of you can keep quiet and immediately will begin giggling and will make it inevitably worse by whispering to one another “stop!” and “don’t laugh—“ while holding your mouths to stifle yourselves.

this leads to people being rather nervous to speak to navia when you’re around. usually, navia is very friendly and softly spoken; often she’ll be a rather happy-go-lucky and caring girl who smiles no matter what — of course this doesn’t mean she’ll allow people to walk all over her, but hey she believes in second chances — but when you’re around…people will loiter around creepily before gathering the courage to ask for help or whatever they need.

navia is at heart however, a very loving and respectful person so she will remind you of when you’ve stepped out of line. sometimes rudeness is just an innate quality that people have and it’s sometimes not intended out of malice; even petty things like lateness or speaking out of turn counts as “rudeness”, and navia is here to either make excuses up for you or to defend you from criticism ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

WRIOTHESLEY — 莱欧斯利

oh he absolutely eats this shit up. every argument, insult, fight etcetera you’ve ever had is kept in a personal file somewhere in his cabinet just for memories sake. wriothesley’s life is already quite dramatic and hectic as it can be, the fortress of meropide could honestly sometimes be described as a form of circus within itself especially if you’re involved, but he revels in your antics nonetheless.

you’re literally so fucking hilarious, each time he hears those heavy doors heave open beneath him he just KNOWS shit has gone down and you’re about to dramatise it for him live.

you best believe he’s an instigator the same way furina is; whispering to you and then giggling when you use his encouragement as some sort of reference while you practically spit venom at the person who’s unfortunately become your centre of focus.

he won’t allow you to stir up too much trouble in the fortress of meropide but being his partner you get the perk of not getting into nearly as much trouble as you would if you were one of the criminals down in the fortress (unless you are then…well you’re special so it doesn’t matter!)

©STARYUEE do not copy, steal or repost ♡ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ɪʜᴇᴀʀᴛɢᴀɴʏᴜ

#i got xianyun and her story quest made my mommy issues oh so much worse…#genshin x reader #genshin x gnreader #genshin x you #eula x reader #xiao x reader #thoma x reader #ei x reader #raiden x reader #furina x reader #navia x reader #wriothesley x reader

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honeyhotteoks · 6 months

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this night together - chapter twelve (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter twelve: home is always home

chapter summary: you were planning to tell them how you felt on saturday, but when things go sideways at the studio you find yourself running home as fast as you can.

warnings: this is the chapter i've been warning about for a long, long time. please read responsibly if you're easily triggered by any of the following topics - guy who can't take no for an answer, aggressive/sexist language, physical and verbal assault, panic/ptsd, physical injury/blood, hospitals, police interaction (mentioned), nightmares/night terrors, self harm (sort of?)

notes: please note, if you're reading this on or around 12.3.23 when i'm posting, i've put up three chapters at once. make sure you don't skip chapter ten and eleven! additional notes under the cut~!

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, a/b/o/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 11.6k

previous chapter | next chapter | AO3

for my readers who aren't that familiar with a/b/o, i'm introducing something in this chapter that you may not have seen before. i wanted to add some context! if you're new to a/b/o, there is something that alphas have often called "alpha tone", "alpha voice", or just "tone". alphas in many depictions have the ability to lower their voice in a particular way that is seen as a strict command to an omega, and it triggers/activates their submission. this is something that can be used negatively or positively, but in this scene will be negative. there's also something called headspace/subspace that you will see referenced, and an omega can be put into headspace/subspace via alpha tone. it is a bit of a dissociative state where the omega can only really hear and understand commands. this can be used negatively or positively as well, but again, definitely not good in this scene. i hope that helps.... and happy/responsible reading!!

You really, really wish today was Saturday and not Thursday. Thursday just means you still have to get through Friday and then all of Saturday morning before your scheduled dinner with Yunho and Mingi and all the things you want to say are practically eating you up inside. But there’s a right way and a wrong way to tell someone you’ve been an idiot and you’re in love with them, and blurting it out in the middle of dance practice isn’t really going to help make this easier.

God, you hope they still want you.

On the plus side, this week has been insane. With the full crew back things are moving at a million miles per hour, and you’ve been in more meetings about what’s coming up next in the past week than the entire time you’ve worked for BB Trippin and KQ.

Your schedule for the next six months is frankly intense. Between preparing for year-end stages and working on the choreography for the newly debuting girl group, you’re juggling conversations about New World’s next comeback and the next round of touring. With the money coming in now there’s an opportunity to take more dancers, and that just means more late nights and early mornings getting everything right.

It’s after your third concept planning meeting of the week that you find two minutes to talk to Wooyoung, his bag already slung over his shoulder as he refills his water bottle.

“So, you’re going?” You ask him vaguely, trying not to tip off anyone else in the vicinity that he’s got a date.

“Yeah,” He nods, eyes flicking over your shoulder to see if San and Seonghwa are nearby, “I think I’m going to throw up,”

“No, you’re not,” You assure him.

“I might,” He whines, running a hand through his mop of long black hair, “I never know what to say to him,”

“Woo,”

“I know what to say to everyone, y/n,” He lowers his voice, panic evident in his eyes, “but every time Sangie smiles I go fucking blank,”

“Sangie?” Your eyebrow quirks, “Is that what we’re calling him now,”

“Shut up,” Wooyoung blushes.

“Wow,” You prod him softly, “you’re down so bad, it’s been like three days,”

“It’s so bad,” He grimaces, “this is embarrassing,”

“Now you see how I feel,” You smirk, “it’s kind of fun being on this end of things,”

“Please,” He rolls his eyes, “are you telling me you’re not panicking?”

“Oh, no,” You laugh, “I definitely am. It’s just nice to know I’m not alone here,”

“I was never this mean to you,”

You hold his gaze, just blinking, there’s nothing to say to that he doesn’t already know.

“Okay, fine,” He sighs, “but still, feeling like this,”

“Feeling like what?” Seonghwa’s voice shocks you both out of your quiet conversation and you both jump back from each other.

“Jesus,” You breathe, “you scared me,”

Seonghwa smiles, “Sorry,” he shrugs, “everything okay?”

“Perfect,” Wooyoung takes a step back and shakes his head, “totally good,”

Seonghwa’s brows come together in the middle, “You seem like something’s wrong, can I help?”

Wooyoung almost blanches, and you know he’s dreading telling San and Seonghwa about Yeosang, so you jump in to help. “Woo was just helping me figure out Saturday,” You cover and draw Seonghwa’s attention back to you, “you know, figuring out what to say to them,”

“Oh,” Seonghwa nods, but you can see that he doesn’t really buy it, “right,”

“Anyways,” Wooyoung starts walking backwards towards the exterior door, “I have to go, but you know, y/n, call me if you need to talk more later,”

“I will,” You nod, “I definitely will.”

Wooyoung knows that what you mean is that you want detailed date updates, and he almost looks mortified at the idea. He disappears fast, leaving you and Seonghwa relatively alone in the hallway.

“What is up with him this week?” Seonghwa asks, confusion on his face.

“He has a date,” You tell him quietly, “he’s kind of freaking out about it.”

“Oh,” Seonghwa glances towards the door where Wooyoung just disappeared, “that’s not that weird for him,”

“It is if he’s this interested after only a few days,” You say, “but don’t tease him. He’s kind of worked up about the whole thing,”

“Who’s he seeing?” Seonghwa asks.

“He should tell you that,” You beg off the gossip immediately, “just do me a favor and give him a little space to talk to you and San about it,”

“Okay,” He draws out the word, not sure exactly where you’re going.

“He’s nervous about upsetting the delicate balance,” You gesture towards him, referring to the carefully constructed relationship that is Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa.

“He’s seeing another alpha?” Seonghwa jumps to that conclusion with ease, and you can see how he would get there.

You’re shaking your head before you can stop yourself, “It’s not that,”

That does surprise him, and Seonghwa’s eyes widen a bit, “Oh,”

“Right,” You nod, leading him to the conclusion as close as you can without spelling it out, “my point is, he’s nervous and he’s got a pretty serious crush, and he hasn’t said so but I think he’s scared you and San won’t approve.”

“I would never,” He stumbles over his words, “out of anyone, we would never judge him, he has to know that,”

“Hey,” You reach for Seonghwa, stepping a little closer so your voices stay low in the entryway as you brush your hand down his forearm, “he knows, he’s just panicking a little.”

“Should I talk to him?” Seonghwa asks, his eyes earnest.

“Not yet,” You shake your head, “he’ll figure it out, just don’t push him right now. I’ve never seen him this anxious,”

“I won’t,” He promises, “thank you for telling me,”

“Mhm,”

Seonghwa chews over your words a second and then decides to let it drop. With a sigh he refocuses on work, “Are you staying late?”

“Yeah,” You shrug, “I have some things to catch up on. You?”

“I need to track down San,” He says, “but then after that I’m probably heading out a little early,”

“Nice,” You nod, “still shaking off the jetlag?”

He nods, “Unfortunately,”

Down the hall you watch a few of the dancers gathering up their belongings, and then the door to the back office opens to reveal Yunho and Mingi, sitting close together and studying a computer screen as Jaemin leaves for the day.

“Well,” Your feet are already moving, “then I’ll see you later,”

“Sounds good,” He says, and then he gives you a knowing look, seeing exactly where you’re headed.

Before you know it, you’re moving through the people in the hall and trying desperately to come up with a reason for crashing their tete-a-tete.

“Hey,” You knock softly on the open door, “am I interrupting?”

“No, no,” Yunho smiles when he sees you and your stomach bubbles.

“We’re just watching back practice,” Mingi leans back in his chair, rubbing his tired eyes.

“Oh, nice,” You say, and your empty words do little to fill the empty space.

“Do you… need something?” Yunho tries.

“Ah, yeah, sorry,” You scramble internally for something to say, “I’m staying late, but I’m kind of starving, I just didn’t know if you still had stuff stashed?”

“Sure,” He gestures towards the cabinets on the side wall, “whatever you want, help yourself,”

“Great,” You dash towards the cabinets, and you can’t even imagine eating right now with how fluttery your insides have been, but you snag a couple of protein bars anyways.

The silence is brutal. Not like before, not like the tense and uncomfortable angry silences of the past, but it’s still sitting there between you. Part of you wants to shut the door right now and just get it all out there, but again, you know you shouldn’t.

Mingi’s warm, chocolatey scent is richer in here, evident after a hard practice of working up a sweat and being given a chance to permeate with the door closed. You feel your body naturally relaxing at it, so comforting and familiar, and then you get the first pang of Yunho’s warm, summer rain.

You can hardly believe how you convinced yourself that this wasn’t scent sympathy when right here and now it’s so obvious they belong to you. You wonder if they feel it too.

“Are you okay?” Mingi’s voice snaps you out of your sudden daydream staring at the cabinet full of snacks.

“Yeah, yes,” You shut them and step back, “I’m fine, just a little tired.”

“Not sleeping well?” Yunho says, concern all over his features.

“I’m fine,” You wave him off, “just a busy week,”

“You don’t have to stay late,” Mingi offers, “I’m sure whatever you’re working on will still be fine tomorrow,”

“I know,” You nod, “but if I don’t get it out of my system I’ll just be thinking about it all night, you know how it is,”

Mingi nods, “Still, take it easy later,”

“I will,” You promise, and you start to turn towards the door when the words just bubble up out of your throat, “you’re both still free Saturday, right?”

“Yeah,” Mingi answers for them both, “are you?”

“Definitely,” You nod, “I just wanted to make sure, I’m looking forward to it,”

“We could do tomorrow instead,” Yunho offers, “after practice?”

“As long as you don’t have other plans,” Mingi cuts in, “for a Friday night,”

“Tomorrow works,” You jump at the chance, “I’d actually love that, I just didn’t want to crowd you when you’re adjusting to the timezone again,”

“It’s fine,” Mingi brushes that thought off, “I’d rather see you,”

“Yeah,” Yunho nods, “it’ll be good to catch up,”

You smile, “I want to hear all about the trip,”

“The trip,” Mingi says, just repeating your words like he’s weighing them out on his own tongue.

Something about his voice sends a sharp zing up the back of your spine.

Your body feels a little soft, relaxing bit by bit.

Yunho’s eyes flick over you, “Are you sure you need to stay late?”

Something your primal little brain cannot handle right now is the thought of your alphas being protective, not when you’re standing in this room encased by their scents that feel a little too right. Your stomach tightens and you pray that you’re not blushing pink at the flickering thought in your mind of them taking you home.

You need to get out of this room before they realize it.

“I’m good,” You tell him, stepping backwards towards the door, “but thank you, and dinner tomorrow is perfect,”

Mingi says something, you think he’s agreeing, but you’re giving another excuse over your shoulder about how you need to get back to it so you can make it out of this room.

Your heart is practically beating out of your chest as you leave the office and make it down the hall, heading for the studio room you’ve booked for the afternoon. You nearly run into Dahan and Minseok as you cut around the corner, but you apologize quickly and barely give them a second glance as you hide yourself away in one of the dance studios alone.

With the door firmly shut you lean back against the closed door and take a deep breath. These feelings are going to work you into a frenzy if you don’t get them under control. Scent sympathy is rare, an almost perfect match between an alpha and omega that makes every part of a relationship heightened, especially once that initial sympathetic bond is fulfilled with a claim. While they were gone you came to that conclusion slowly, the steady ache in your chest so clearly informed by the lack of them, but now that they’re back and here the realization of it collides into you full-force.

You love them, that’s true. But what’s more is how much you need them, and how much you hope they need you. You can’t let them realize it before you have the chance to say everything you need to say, and if you had stayed in that room a few minutes more they might have felt themselves. With the dinner moved to Friday you just have one more night to get through. One more night, and one more day of work. And then the chips will fall where they may.

With a deep breath you let the hammering of your heart slow and then you focus back on the work ahead. The more you pour yourself into work the faster these 24 hours will go, so you put your head down and get to it.

You work for a long time, probably too long, until your muscles are positively aching and any thoughts of Yunho and Mingi are drowned out by lyrics to the chorus of this song that just keeps looping in your mind as you try different patterns of footwork. Here in this bubble you don’t know who’s still at work, who’s left for the day, what time it is, or if the sun has set yet. You just know your own body and every which way that it moves to this one singular song.

Your hair is hot around your face, sweat clinging to your brow as you finish out the latter half of the choreography that you’re confident with. It’s fast, and includes so much up and down floor work you’re pretty sure you’d be passing out if you weren’t hydrating properly. Focused on your reflection in the mirror you gather your hair up and away and into a knot and then move to find your towel and water bottle.

The door to the studio opens behind you, and you glance back without really seeing who’s popping in, “Hey,”

For a split second it occurs to you that it might be Yunho or Mingi and your stomach flips as you start to turn.

“Hey, y/n,” Minseok’s voice is a bit of a surprise.

“Oh, hey,”

He looks like he’s just stopping by to grab something from the far desk in the corner. You’re honestly surprised that he’s still here, he had looked on his way out earlier when you bumped into him in the hall.

“Are you heading out for the night?” You take a drink of water and catch your breath, leaning against the mirrored wall behind you.

“Soon,” He nods, running a hand through his dark hair and snagging a sweatshirt hanging over the back of the office chair.

“Well,” You smile, “have a good night,”

“You too,” He says as he walks past you, but then his steps slow and you hear him sigh before he turns on his heel, “listen, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,”

“I hope you don’t think this is weird,” He takes a few more steps back towards you, “but I’ve actually been meaning to ask you something for a while now,”

“Oh,” Your eyebrows raise, and suddenly you can see everything in his expression. You know this look. You know the way men get when they finally rip off the bandage and change the equilibrium of a room, the moment they decide they can’t see you as just a friend. What absolutely terrible timing he has.

“I was thinking,” He says, a little pause before the rest and you hope you’re keeping your face nice and neutral, “do you think I could take you out some time?”

“Out?” The word leaves you.

He smiles, “Yeah, out, like a date.”

“I appreciate that,” You shake your head a little, trying to smile and keep things light, “but I don’t think so,”

His lip quirks and his nose scrunches and you suppose that if you were interested you might find this part of him charming, but you’re not, so it isn’t. “Are you seeing someone?” He asks.

“No,” You tell him honestly, “not right now.”

“So, I can’t get you to give me one chance?” He takes a step forwards, gesturing between you both and keeping his gaze hopeful.

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” You shake your head, “we work together.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” He assures you, brushing past the boundary you tried to set with casual indifference, “don’t worry about that.”

“Still,” You shake your head, “but thank you for asking.”

You’re not at all thankful for him asking, but he’s nice enough, and it feels like the polite way to keep the status quo.

“That’s a shame,” He admits, his smile dropping almost entirely, “are you sure I can’t convince you to give me just one chance? I really do like you, y/n,”

“I’m sure,” That should be firm enough.

“I thought we were getting along well,” He cuts off the end of your words, “becoming friends.”

“I thought so too,” You straighten up off the wall behind you, tossing your towel over your shoulder and setting up to walk right out of the studio room if that’s what it would take to end this interaction, “I thought we were friends,”

You can’t help but emphasize the word friends, and you watch the moment his expression drops more, annoyance flicking through his jaw.

“I didn’t think you had such a problem seeing people you worked with,” He says pointedly.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s just that,” He shrugs, nodding towards you, “I didn’t think it bothered you. Considering.”

“Listen,” You lock eyes with him, “let it go. I’m trying to be nice about this, but I can be clearer. I am not interested in going out with you.”

“You don’t have to be rude,”

“Goodnight, Minseok,” You’re not staying for this.

“I’m a good guy,” He says as you start towards the door, “don’t, come on just stay a second,”

You keep walking.

“y/n,” He says, his voice startlingly close behind you, “stay.”

It’s like your legs stop working, an echoing strike of nerves down your spine and you stumble slightly as his hand closes around your wrist.

“Let go of me.” You start to turn towards him, pulling your arm back as you do, but he speaks again.

“Stop.” His voice is so low suddenly, situated smack in the center of his chest, a tenor you’ve never heard from him before. Your legs stop working all together, suddenly feeling like lead.

“Take your hands off me.” You blink hard, your head feeling a little full suddenly.

“I just don’t understand,” He bites, “we’ve been flirting for weeks.”

You can’t find the words to tell him that you being nice isn't flirting, but you’re stunned into silence. You can barely even think of a time when you had a sustained conversation with him where someone else wasn’t present. How could interactions that felt so routine to you feel so significant for him?

“And you’re just… not interested?” He scoffs, “You’re what, twenty-six? Twenty-seven? You’re going to start running out of good offers.”

So many things about Seo Minseok fall into place with just those words. The way that just a few weeks ago he barely looked at you, barely spoke to you. Always spending his attention on the alphas in the room around you, but never you. How when that tide shifted you thought, maybe naively, that he was just shy. But he’s not shy, not in the least. He’s just another alpha in a long line of alphas who look down their noses at omegas until there’s something they want from them.

“That’s really none of your concern,” You shake your head, “now get the fuck off me.”

“Be quiet.” His jaw sets hard.

So does yours.

A thousand thoughts run through your brain like a wildfire eating up a hillside of dry bark but nothing can make it past your lips. The tone of his voice has you rooted to the spot, his instructions not suggestions but strict commands. It’s been a long time since you’ve heard an alpha use tone, but it’s certainly the first time it’s been directed at you. You’ve heard stories, the way the primal omega brain surfaces even when you don’t want it to. You thought it was a bit of an overstatement, but now on the receiving end you can’t control your response to him and fear floods you.

“You talk a lot for an unmated omega,” He looks disappointed.

Something shrinks inside you.

His fingers tighten, his body suddenly closer, “But we can fix that.”

In a breath his hands push you backwards, your back suddenly cold against the mirrored wall of the practice room. Later, much later, you’ll discover that the reason your memory of this moment is patchy is a combination of your omega’s response to alpha tone and full dissociation. You’ll remember little pieces, quick sensations here and there. The same song still looping through the stereo, the sound of his deep inhale with his face pressed against your throat, the sharp pin pricks of his teeth as he seeks out the soft juncture of your neck and shoulder. The way your mind in one heaving breath both screams in rebellion and folds open in acceptance when he successfully locates your gland.

You suddenly can’t hear right, can’t think right. All you know is his teeth. The hot feeling of breath. He smells like burnt, bitter oranges. He’s talking again, saying something that your conscious mind can’t register, but your omega does, and you stretch your neck long to give him the access he needs.

And then you’re under.

You’re dropping before you consciously register your brain entering a new, hazy middle space. It feels like being at the bottom of a deep pool, the sudden, immersive quiet. You understand that someone is talking to you, or around you, but all you can hear is the echoing tenor of an alpha, the words unclear, all cocooned in the water around you.

There’s a bang somewhere but it feels far away, and you feel pin pricks against your throat.

Minseok’s overwhelming acrid scent and heavy pressure against you is gone, the sudden loss of his weight leaving you off balance. You think you’re falling, or maybe you’ve already fallen. The world feels tilted, something hard and cold under your back. You smell something sharp and tangy, and there’s something loud in the room but you can’t understand it. Everything is white, bright and intrusive.

Mingi’s face swims into your vision, and you feel his hands on your cheeks. It takes you a minute to understand anything, but he looks upset, stricken and his cheeks are tinged pink with panicked anger. You want to reach up, soothe his brow and see what’s wrong, but you can’t lift your hand. Don’t move an inch.

“Jesus,” Mingi glances to his side, “he put her in subspace,”

Someone responds, but it’s muffled to your ears.

Mingi’s face darkens entirely, his hands leave you, “I’ll fucking kill him,”

He’s gone. There’s a scuffle to your side, but you can’t turn your head, you want to, you just can’t. Tears bubble in your eyes, emotion pulsing through you and your breath is tight and thready in your throat. A sharp, whining sob bubbles from your lips.

Warm rain swims through you, and Yunho’s there, sliding right into the spot Mingi left. His eyes dart over your face and then he looks to his side, his voice firm, “Calm down or get out of here, do you understand me? You’re scaring her,”

There’s a long beat, noises to your side again but you can’t understand it. Your stomach flips nervously, the place you’re stuck in your head throbbing a sharp spike through your brain.

Yunho’s warm, brown eyes settle back on yours, his face calm and easy, “Can you hear me, y/n?”

You can, but you can’t make your mouth work. Don’t move an inch.

“Can you hear me? y/n?” He asks again, his thumb brushing your cheek, “You’re safe, he’s not going to touch you again,”

The hard feeling of Minseok’s hands on your hips pushing you into the practice room mirror snaps inside you and you release a soft sound.

“You can hear me,” Yunho nods, “come on, wake up,”

“Yunho,” Mingi’s voice is close again, hard and steady, “that’s not going to work,”

“Why?” Yunho looks up to his friend, “she can hear me, she’s okay,”

“She’s in subspace,” Mingi pushes his friend to the side, coming into your eye line, “she’s dropped so far under it’s going to take more than that,”

“W-what do we do?” Yunho’s voice is shaky.

“Let me try something,” Mingi murmurs, and then his eyes lock squarely on yours.

Yunho slips his hand into yours, holding you tightly, but you can’t squeeze him back.

“Omega,” Mingi’s voice is firm, and it’s the clearest thing you’ve heard since sinking under the water, “Come up now.”

Don’t move an inch.

“You need to come up now,” His fingers tighten on your cheek, “listen to me.”

Don’t move an inch.

“Why isn’t this working?” Yunho asks, squeezing your fingers.

“I’m not sure,” Mingi’s voice is low, and then he shifts closer to your face, “y/n. Omega. Listen to me now,”

All you can do is manage to make a quiet, tight noise, and even to your muddled brain you can hear the tenor of distress.

“Come up now,” Mingi repeats, “right now. Listen to me, omega.”

You’re being torn in two, your primal brain fighting you every step of the way.

He swallows hard, his voice dropping low in his chest, “Don’t disobey your alpha,”

Suddenly nothing but his voice exists.

Mingi’s expression is cold, tight and ruthless, his rich tone cuts straight to your core, “When you’re given a directive, you follow it. Now,” He locks his hands on either side of your face and his next words are a pointed and perfectly clear command, “Come. Up.”

The room is so much louder than you thought a moment ago. There’s shouting outside and you vaguely register San’s voice amongst the mix. The music from practice is still on low. Yunho’s leg is bouncing nervously, the athletic fabric making a rhythmic swish with every bob of his knee. You can hear your blood rushing in your ears.

“I’m sorry,” You choke out, the first feeling that floods back into your body is intense shame.

“Oh my god,” Mingi’s expression crumbles and he pulls your limp body into his arms “you’re here? You’re with us?”

“M-Mingi,” Your vision clouds with tears again and every feeling that tried to course through your body while you were in subdrop crashes into you sideways.

“Shh,” He rocks you in his arms, “we’ve got you, we’re right here, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”

A dull throb radiates through your skull and Yunho takes a sharp inhale, “She’s bleeding,”

“What?” Mingi pulls back, his hand searching your body.

“Here,” Yunho brushes the back of your hair, his fingers coming away with a small line of blood, “it’s not too bad,”

“What happened?” You reach for the cut at the back of your head, nervous tears coming up as you try to understand.

“You don’t remember?” Yunho asks.

“I’m,” You swallow hard, “it was practice? Or I was practicing? I had the room booked.”

“Yeah,” Yunho nods and squeezes your hand, “what else?”

The date. The hard set of Minseok’s jaw when you said no. His hands on your hips, his lips on your neck, the soft drag of his teeth and the flat of his tongue over your gland. Your shirt tearing when he hauled you up against the mirrors. Hands everywhere. Hands nowhere. The white ceiling. His voice, harsh and direct in your ears, the alpha tone unmistakable. Submit. Heel. Don’t move an inch.

Your mouth is suddenly hot and watery, and your hands are shaking, “I’m… I’m going to be sick,”

“Shit,” Yunho moves fast, sliding across the floor to grab the wastebasket that sits under the desk, pushing it into your hands.

You wretch instantly, shaking and heaving, losing the contents of your stomach into the plastic bin.

“Okay,” Mingi soothes, gathering up your hair into one hand and holding it away from your face, “you’re okay,”

“He touched me,” Your hands won’t stop shaking, his voice flooding back, and you heave again, “the things he said,”

“Shh,” Yunho shifts closer, rubbing a hand up and down your back, “you’re safe. None of that is true,”

“He talked to me like a dog,” You sob, “and I couldn’t move, he told me not to move and I just let him,”

“No.” Mingi’s voice is harsh and you twitch under his hands, “He used alpha tone on you, he wanted you to stop fighting and he said it in tone until you couldn’t hear anything else. You didn’t let him do anything,”

“I’ve never,” You wretch again, a dry heave with nothing to give and it makes your eyes watery.

“We’re right here,” Yunho murmurs, “you’re safe.”

When you’re sure your stomach will hold, you push the wastebasket away and drop back to the floor, your head throbbing, “I’ve never been in subspace,”

“You’re not there now,” Mingi soothes.

“I don’t remember,” You manage, looking down at your mussed clothes, “it’s so muddled I can’t remember,”

“What can’t you remember?” Yunho asks softly.

You’re pretty sure you’d register it if his attempt at claiming had been successful, if the word attempt should even be in consideration at all, but the end is so fuzzy you just have to know. “Did he… did we?”

“No.” Yunho’s firm, sliding in front of you so he can make you look into his eyes, “absolutely not,”

Your mouth tastes terrible, but it’s the overwhelming bitter smell of him on you that doubles it and makes you want to throw up again even though your stomach is empty.

“All I can smell is him,” You scrub your hands under your eyes to wipe away tears, “I can’t even breathe,”

“Take her,” Mingi says, “I’m getting water,”

Yunho pulls you into his arms, sitting back against the mirrored wall for some support and cradling you to his chest, “Come here, is this okay?”

“Make it go away,” You hold onto his shirt and sigh into his neck, “please, Yunho, please,”

“Just breathe,” He soothes you, “I have you,”

He smooths his thumbs over the glands in your wrists, easing the initial panic inside you, and then gently draws your head back with his hand, “It’s only me,” He murmurs, “you know I’d never hurt you,”

Yunho licks a long stripe up your neck, and instantly your body starts to release, tense muscles unlocking and your fingers falling slack. His scent washes over you, enveloping you tenderly.

“Y-Yunho,” you shudder as he licks another long stripe, moving to suck softly on the fleshy part of your neck that narrowly avoided teeth marks.

“Yes?” He kisses your neck softly, and licks again.

“Thank you for coming for me,” You exhale slowly.

He stills, sinking closer and resting his closed lips on your shoulder. When he breathes in you hear the catch of emotion, “I thought we were too late,”

“I’m okay,” You murmur, and it’s starting to feel true now that he’s washing away Minseok’s scent.

“God,” He sighs into your skin, “when I heard you scream… I’ve never heard anything that terrifying in my life, I’ve never run so fast,”

“Did I scream?” You don’t remember it.

“Bloody murder,” He nods, pulling back to look at your eyes.

“Yunho,” Your eyes flick up towards the open door of the practice studio, “where is he?”

His hands tighten on you, “Probably nursing his broken ribs. The guys have him,”

Your eyes widen, and the realization that he’s still under the same roof has you trembling in his arms, “He’s still here,”

“Not for long,” He murmurs, “we called the police,”

“But,” Your mind is spinning and you feel the weight of him on your chest once more, “what if he comes back?”

“y/n,” Yunho draws your eyes away from the door, “San and Seonghwa have him, and he’s in rough shape. He’s probably focused on trying to breathe, not thinking about you anymore. And even if none of that were true and he did come back,” he says, “I’d put him on the floor faster than you could blink. Mingi and I both would.”

Your muscles start to relax again, “Okay,”

“You are completely safe,”

Mingi reappears a few moments later, bottles of water in hand, and he smiles warmly, “Hey, you,”

“Hey,”

“Feeling a little better?” He asks, settling on the hard practice room floor and passing you an open bottle.

“I don’t know,” You murmur honestly, shifting in Yunho’s arms so that you’re resting on his lap with your back against his chest. You take a long drink of water and sigh.

“Listen,” Mingi smooths a hand across your thigh, “the police are going to want to talk to you. They’ll be here within the hour and then we’ll go to the hospital.”

“Why?” You tense.

“Your head,” He nods.

“It’s stopped bleeding,” Yunho assures you, “but he’s right, you could have a concussion.”

“I don’t have a concussion,”

“I didn’t realize you had a medical degree,” Mingi says, a little edge to his voice.

Hot tears well in your eyes at his tone, and you shrink back into Yunho’s arms. You know rationally he didn’t mean to scare you, he’s just worried about you, but after the day you’ve had you can’t help but shrink back in fear.

“Hey,” Yunho presses his lips to your neck, “it’s alright, Mingi didn’t mean it like that”

Mingi’s eyes blow wide, “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything,”

“I know,” You tip your head to the side to offer more of your throat to Yunho’s soothing touches, “I’m just not myself,”

“It’s okay,” Yunho says again, returning to your neck and peppering kisses across your gland, and something about this should feel intimate and awkward when you haven’t talked to them yet, but all you can feel is safe.

“Really,” Mingi reaches for you, but doesn’t touch you, “I just want you to let us help, and I’m so angry with Minseok I could kill him, but I didn’t mean to put that on you,”

“Mingi,” You take his outstretched hand, “I’m okay, you just startled me, and you’re right anyways. I’ll come to the hospital,”

He sighs in relief.

“After,” Yunho murmurs, “would you - I mean, will you please come home with us tonight?”

It’s strange how much you feel like it is home, despite only spending your heat there, months ago, so long ago now you shouldn’t still feel this preternatural pull.

“I don’t know,” You say, even though your body is begging you to agree, to stay with them and only them.

“I know it’s been different between us,” He murmurs, arms tightening around you, “but you know how I feel. I just don’t want you to be alone tonight, someone should be with you,”

“Someone you feel safe with,” Mingi adds, “if that’s us,”

“It is,” You lock your hand down on Mingi’s, “I’m sorry, this is… of course you’re safe, of course you are. I’m just,”

“Let’s talk about this later,” Mingi smiles, shooting a look at Yunho you can’t quite make sense of, but brushing your fears to the side all the same, “for now, let’s just get you taken care of.”

You shudder out a breath, letting the warmth and safety of their bodies sink into you. You turn into Yunho, resting your cheek on his chest and matching your breath in time to his. Your thoughts spin, bubbling over as threads of the incident come back to your mind and you press your eyes closed before the question slips out, “Why did he do it?”

Yunho wraps his arms around you a little tighter, dropping his lips to your hair, “I don’t know,”

Mingi clears his throat, “He’s about to hit his rut,” he says, “that’s what his excuse was. He said he’s… he kept saying how sorry he was, but,”

Your eyes snap open, “Sorry? He’s sorry?”

“Sorry someone interrupted him, maybe,” Mingi’s voice is hard, his eyes firm and unrelenting, “a rut doesn’t make you do that. Not like that.”

Yunho shakes his head in agreement, “Definitely not,”

You know that, of course you know it, but after seeing Minseok’s black eyes you’re not so sure. You had never felt completely comfortable with him, but in the past you would have chalked that up to personality differences, and in the past few weeks that had all started to change. He was the kind of guy you wouldn’t date, but you wouldn’t worry about bothering you.

You sigh softly, “He didn’t seem like himself,”

“Mm,” Mingi hums, non-committal.

“A rut doesn’t make it impossible to hear the word no,” Yunho says firmly, “you don’t become some mindless animal. What he tried to do… that’s… a rut’s an easy excuse.”

You tense up in his arms, a brief flicker of what could have been. His teeth in your neck, your mind spinning into submission.

“Yunho,” Mingi shakes his head at his best friend, glancing down at you to indicate that it’s not something you can hear right now.

“I’m sorry,” Yunho soothes, holding you closer if it’s at all possible.

Your chest tightens, “Can I… I need to get up,”

His arms relax immediately, hands shifting under your elbows to help support you while Mingi jumps up and offers you his hands to pull you up. Back on your own two feet you waver a minute, but you shake off the dizzy spell and try to get your bearings again. They're waiting on a razor’s edge, hands out and ready to intervene, but you’ve made it clear that for the moment you don’t want to be touched.

A shout from the hall leaves you jumping, but you register Wooyoung’s voice a moment later, “Where is she?”

“The studio,” San’s voice replies, “slow down,”

“Is he in the back office? Give me a fucking minute alone with him,” Wooyoung’s voice is murderous and you smile at how ready your best friend sounds to do battle on your behalf, “I’ll show him what an omega can fucking do,”

“Youngie,” San’s voice is even and warm, keeping things soft, “you need to calm down,”

“Calm down,” He scoffs, his voice getting closer as he travels down the hall and you know he’s almost at the door.

“I hardly think y/n needs,” San starts to say, but then they round the corner.

Wooyoung’s eyes are wild, searching and terrified, and something inside you shatters. San’s words die on his lips when he sees you, and in a startling moment of clarity you rush forwards and into Wooyoung’s arms.

“Shh, shh,” He wraps you up tight, one hand at the back of your head as he rocks you back and forth, “you’re safe, you’re in one piece,”

“Woo,” Tears come fast, and you bury your face in his chest.

“Stupid fucking alphas,” He curses into your shoulder and you can hear his breath hitched and clouded with tears of his own, “acting like they can take whatever they want,”

You’re sure the rest of the room is bristling at that comment but you couldn’t care less.

“You want me to break the rest of his ribs?” He kisses your head, “I’ll make it look like a fucking accident, I swear to God,”

“Woo,” You laugh into his chest, vision blurry with unshed tears, “stop, that’s insane,”

“I am nothing if not a little insane,” Wooyoung squeezes you, “and you and me? We protect each other, right?”

“Always,” You grip the back of his shirt like a lifeline.

The bond between omegas can’t be understood by a single other person in the room, maybe even in the building. You cling to each other in the middle of the studio floor, encased in this moment of shared grief. Of what you are and what that means. He shifts you in his arms so he can look at your face, cupping your tear stained cheeks.

The sight of his own tears makes yours come faster, “What did I do?”

His expression hardens and he shakes his head, sucking in a harsh breath, “Nothing, not a single fucking thing. Do you hear me?”

“Woo,” You want him to let you go. You want him to tug you close again.

He shakes your shoulders hard, and in your periphery you see Mingi take a half step forward as Wooyoung pushes back on your words, “You didn’t do anything. You’re existing, and he tried to take advantage of that. This isn’t your fault, there’s nothing you could have or should have done.”

You open your mouth to say something but he plows forward.

“Alphas take, alright?” He shakes you again, more gently this time, “We’re lucky. You and me, we found good ones, but alphas are programmed to take, and we’re programmed to give. He used it against you. Nothing else.”

Your breath hitches, and you launch yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him cradle you again.

“Shh, shh,” He rubs your back, soothing you again.

“I hate this,” You manage, your face buried in his shoulder.

“I know,” He eases you, “I fucking hate it too,”

You hold each other a little longer until both of your tears start to subside. You stay steady in his grip, his fresh salt and cotton scent lulling you into safety. The buzzing of your brain starts to release, and the fear is still there under your skin but at least for now it’s low and letting you breathe.

Nuzzling into his shoulder you sigh, “What are you doing back here anyways?”

“San called,” He kisses your hair, “I broke several laws getting here,”

You laugh against his collarbone where his oversized t-shirt is pulled down, no doubt from the way your hands grip whatever part of him you can.

He rubs a warm hand up and down your back and when he speaks again it’s not to you, this time he addresses the alphas in the room. He clears his throat softly, head lifting up and away from yours, “So, who busted his nose?”

“Uh,” Yunho makes a small sound behind you, “that would be me,”

“Good,” Wooyoung says, “when she stops crying I’m giving you a handshake,”

You smile against his damp skin and shake your head, “I’m not crying, I’m fine,”

“Sure,” Wooyoung murmurs, but he doesn’t let you go, just strokes your back more until you settle further into him.

“The police will be here soon,” San murmurs, his voice staying relaxed and steady to make sure everything stays level in the room.

“Right,” Wooyoung sighs, “y/n, can I let you go? I don't have to if you’re not ready,”

You nod immediately though, unwinding your arms from him and taking a ginger step back. He gives you a soft smile, and you scrub the last of the tears from your face with the sleeves of your sweatshirt. He gives you a minute to stand steady and then turns to Yunho and Mingi who both look frozen and unsure of what to do or what to say.

“You both got him off her?” He says, matter of fact.

“Yeah,” Mingi’s voice is tight, like he had been choking back tears of his own, and Yunho simply nods.

“Thank you,” Wooyoung tugs Mingi into a hug and squeezes him tight before shifting to Yunho to hug him too, “seriously,”

Once they break apart, you’re left all in a haphazard circle, and you can feel all the eyes on you. It makes you so tired, dizzy, ready to be done and just crawl under a blanket for the rest of the week. In the back of your throat you still taste bitter orange.

“Um,” Your voice comes out a little more scratchy than you want, and you clear your throat, letting everything fade.

“What is it?” Yunho asks gently.

You don’t know how to ask this, how to beg them to keep holding you together so you can just get through existing in this room. You sigh, the deep exhale making you dizzy again, and step towards him, “C-can I,”

He opens his arms immediately, letting you close the space so he doesn’t assume your needs, but as you collide with him again he responds perfectly, scooping you up into his arms and letting you wrap your legs around his waist. He supports you with ease, an arm under your thighs and another situated high on your back.

“Better?” He murmurs, smiling a little as you bury your head in his neck.

You nod into his neck, and then you allow yourself one tiny moment of weakness, listening to your body and what it needs for once over your anxiety. You mumble it into his neck, but he hears you when you say, “Yunho?”

“Yeah, baby?” His voice is so soft, quiet like he’s afraid of what you might say.

You don’t miss the way Wooyoung’s eyebrows go high at the endearment, but you ignore him and focus instead on the man holding you up, together, in one solid piece. You lift your head so he hears you clearly, “Will you please take me home?”

He goes still and turns his head just a little, “Your apartment or,”

“Take me home with you,” You repeat, “I want to go home,”

This will surely just make everything more muddled and foggy between the three of you tomorrow in the cold light of day, but you don’t care. Right now you just want to be home, in whatever form that means.

He exhales low and shaky, “Alright,” he murmurs, kissing your throat softly to help calm your trembling, “I’ve got you, let’s go home,”

A warm wide palm rests on the center of your back, and Mingi leans in close to catch your eyes, “y/n, can you look at me a second?”

You pull your head up from the crook of Yunho’s neck where you’ve just been taking deep steady inhales of wet earth and meet his eyes.

“Hey,” He smiles.

Your eyes dart between him and Wooyoung, who seems suddenly ancy. “What?” You straighten up a little more in Yunho’s arms.

“You can go wherever you want,” He starts off, “but do you want us to take you home, or would you feel more comfortable with Wooyoung? Or… Seonghwa, if… if that would be better for how you’re feeling,”

Yunho tenses a little, his fingers tightening where he holds you, and you can feel him physically holding himself back from saying a single word, from begging you to come with them.

You’ve made up your mind though, and within a second you’re shaking your head, “No, I want you,”

Yunho relaxes, his lips returning to your throat and you sigh.

“Then you have us,” Mingi assures you.

The sound of the elevators in the hall stop you all cold though, and San holds up his hands, “I’ll go see, it’s probably the police,”

The idea of talking to them suddenly makes you sick, and you’re sure it shows all over your face.

“It’s going to be fine,” Wooyoung jumps back in, “don’t worry, we’ll be there the whole time.”

You need this to be done. You grip down on Yunho’s shoulders, “I want to go home,”

“I know,” Mingi nods.

“Y-Yunho,” You’re scrambling a little in his arms, sudden panic swirling in your gut, and you twist to find his eyes, “please, get me out of here, please take me home,”

You feel it the minute he chooses you over anything else, “Okay, alright,”

“You need to talk to the cops,” Wooyoung shakes his head, trying to reason with you.

You’re trembling in Yunho’s arms and he shakes his head, “She needs to go,”

Mingi senses your heightened emotions too and you feel it when he moves closer, both of them shifting to protect you, “She can do this later,”

“I don’t know that that’s such a good idea,” Wooyoung insists.

“I couldn’t give a fuck,” Yunho grips you tighter, “we’re taking our girl home,”

“Your-” Wooyoung scoffs when he hears the words, “fucking alphas,”

“Who she wants to take her home,” Mingi points out, a distinct edge to his voice.

“Stop arguing,” You beg them, hanging onto Yunho’s shoulders, “please, please,”

“Fuck,” Yunho relaxes, stroking your back, “I’m sorry, of course we won’t, I’m sorry,”

Mingi brushes his hand over the back of your head and Wooyoung gives you an apologetic face, his defensiveness over you is understandable, but he also knows how you feel about these men and you watch him choose to hold his tongue.

A knock on the door brings you all back to the present, San handling the situation with more grace than any of you combined, “The police said that they can speak with you at the hospital and make it brief.”

You exhale heavily and nod against Yunho, “Okay, fine,”

“Are you sure?” Mingi strokes your cheek.

“I just want to be done,”

“Should we stay with you?” Yunho murmurs.

“Please,” You grip his shoulders.

“Alright,” He sighs, “Woo, could you… I’m sorry, can you grab her things? Let’s just try to make this quick for her,”

Wooyoung clears his throat, his eyes never leaving yours, “Yeah, I got it,”

“Uh,” San interrupts as you all try to gather your things, “Yunho, they want to talk to you first, they’re waiting in the back office,”

“Oh,”

“They have some questions,” San explains quietly, “but she she doesn’t need to be there for that,”

“Right,” Yunho nods and then presses a kiss to your hair, “can I put you down, sweetheart?”

Your chest warms.

“No, here,” Mingi cuts in, his hand sweeping over your back and you feel them shift you from Yunho’s arms to his, “come here,”

He settles you against his chest and you wrap around him just the same, soaking in the warm scent of cocoa and cinnamon. You let your eyes drift shut as you rest on his shoulder, “Hey, Mingi,”

“Hey,” He says softly.

“Thank you,” You sigh.

“Mhm,” He rocks you a little as he takes your bags from Wooyoung and slings them over his shoulder, the combined weight of it and you not fazing him at all, “I told you once I’ll always be here, I meant it,”

“I believe you,” You murmur into his throat.

You rest here, Mingi’s thumb rubbing a comforting line over the back of your neck.

“Time to go,” Wooyoung’s voice pipes back in, “there’s a car ready, Yunho will be there in a a few minutes,”

“Alright,” Mingi presses a soft kiss to your hair, “here we go,”

He carries you with ease, and you sink into the steady thump of his heart under your palm that’s keeping you grounded. Over his shoulder you watch Wooyoung walking with you and you see police officers down the hall. The door to the back office swings open and Yunho is leaning against the desk as he speaks with an officer. Seonghwa sits in a chair next to him, his head in his hands, blood coating his knuckles and the sleeves of his shirt. Something pulls in your gut, begging you to go to him, but then you’re outside and all you can feel is Mingi holding you as he ferries you into the car.

“Do you need anything?” He asks as he settles you into the passenger seat

“I don’t know,” You tell him honestly, letting your head drop back against the seat and taking a deep breath, eyes slipping closed.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Wooyoung jumps forward, “keep your eyes open,”

“I’m fine,” You tell him, but you still do what he asks.

“Just in case,” Wooyoung presses, “you shouldn’t fuck with head injuries,”

“He’s right,” Mingi murmurs, crouching next to you just outside the car, “and I’m sure you’re fine, but let’s just be sure, okay?”

“Okay,”

A noise just past the two of them makes you jump.

“It’s just Sannie,” Wooyoung assures you.

You nod and Mingi takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together.

“Yunho’s almost done,” San announces, but he hurries to the car and leans in to check you, “doing okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Can you do something for me?” He cups your cheek to bring your eyes up to his.

“Mhm,” You nod again.

“I need you to just focus on us for a minute,” He moves to crouch next to Mingi, and then Wooyoung steps closer too, blocking out some of your peripheral vision.

“Why?” You fight the urge to turn around.

Red and blue lights flash in the car mirrors and you reflexively glance up at the rear view mirror, catching sight of an ambulance, and tension fills your stomach.

San reaches up and catches your face again, “Hey, look at me,”

You pull your eyes away, “Are they here for him?”

“Yes,” San nods.

“Is he badly hurt?” Your mouth feels dry.

There’s a pause and then Wooyoung sighs, “Don’t lie to her,”

Mingi clears his throat softly, “He’s pretty busted up,”

“Good,” You breathe.

San smiles, taking your other hand in his and smoothing his thumb over your knuckles. The sound of the doors catches your attention again, and you resist the urge to turn around once again. San shakes his head a little, “Just keep looking at us,”

“He really picked the wrong person to fuck with,” Wooyoung says, his hand resting warmly on your shoulder.

An image of Seonghwa and his bloody knuckles flashes through your mind and your breath quickens, “Is Hwa okay?”

Mingi’s brows draw together.

“He’s fine,” San assures you immediately.

“I saw blood,” You can’t articulate it exactly, the image is just static in your mind.

“It’s not his blood,” San promises, “we’re all fine, Seonghwa is fine,”

The sound of the ambulance doors swinging shut makes you jump.

“Shh,” Mingi squeezes your hand, “you’re safe, you’re with me,”

Everything in your body feels tense and stretched thin, but Mingi’s hand is solid in yours and you grip down on it, letting it tether you.

You listen as the ambulance pulls away, your muscles unclenching one by one as the sound of the vehicle fades.

“Woo,” You manage, “can you check on Hwa for me? And text me?”

“Yeah,” He assures you, “I got you,”

“Take a deep breath,” Mingi instructs you, “please, for me,”

You take a long inhale and meet his eyes and he nods as you let the breath out low and slow through your nose.

“Again, please,” He nods.

You breathe again, the same steady pace, “I’m tired,”

“It’s the adrenaline wearing off,” Mingi tells you, “but as soon as a doctor says you can sleep, you can rest,”

“Okay,” You nod.

San’s hand disconnects from yours and he starts to stand, “Yunho’s done,”

You twist in your seat to see him, Wooyoung stepping out of the way, and you can see Yunho jogging towards the car, “Everything okay?”

“Mhm,” Mingi keeps himself calm for you.

“That took forever,” He says, “I’m sorry,”

“It didn’t,” You shake your head, “don’t be sorry,”

“You should go,” Wooyoung interrupts, “get her looked at,”

You find your best friend’s eyes, “You’ll text me?”

“Of course I will,” He nods, “but right now just focus on yourself. We’re all okay,”

You nod, and your eyes feel heavy again already. You know they’ll be trying to keep you awake in the car at this rate.

“Let’s go,” Mingi nods, “can I have my hand back for a minute?” He smiles at you.

“Sorry,” You drop his hand, almost embarrassed at the way you’re clinging to him.

“Go,” San ushers Yunho towards the driver’s side, “if you need anything, we’re here,”

Before you know it everyone’s moving and your car door is shut. Yunho slides into the driver’s seat to your left and Mingi moves into the backseat behind you.

You meet Wooyoung’s eyes through the window and he rests a hand over his chest. He mouths a simple message - I love you, okay?

You nod and the car starts to move, but you know he knows you love him too.

Mingi shifts forwards in his seat as Yunho starts to drive, and his long arm reaches around to find your hand again. He laces your fingers together once and this time he doesn’t let go.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Later that night, the warm, rich scent of their apartment almost takes you out at the knees when you finally cross the threshold, so overwhelmingly comforting and enveloping that you want nothing more than to bury yourself inside the feeling for days. Mingi nearly runs into your back when you stop short in the entryway and Yunho’s watching you carefully as he hangs up your jackets.

“What?” Mingi nudges you gently.

There’s a million things to say. Things left unsaid after your last conversation, that fight you wish you could forget. The letter. All the things you were planning on confessing Saturday. The way you want so badly to erase today and just be with them. Every ounce of their soothing physicality after Minseok brings all your emotions up tenfold. Their tenderness almost chokes you. All the things you want to say are stuck in your throat. You need to get your head on straight. You need sleep.

“Hey,” Yunho waves a hand in front of your dazed expression, “are you alright?”

Not really. The hospital was long and awkward, seeing a glimpse of Minseok’s name on a hospital room door even worse, and the police had so many questions that all sounded fairly judgemental. Not to mention the probing questions from the hospital staff about your cycle and if you’re close to pre-heat. As if that matters at all. You settle for something a little less dire though, “I’m fine, sorry, it’s just been a while,”

Yunho’s ears darken to a deep shade of pink and he nods.

“You can sleep in my room,” Mingi offers, “like before. We can stay or not stay, it’s up to you.”

“I’d like to be alone,” You tell them, “if that’s alright,”

“Of course,” Mingi smooths a hand down your arm, “whatever you want.”

“Um,” You sigh heavily, “honestly I’m exhausted. I think I might just shower and sleep as long as you don’t mind,”

Yunho shakes his head, gesturing towards the hall, “Not at all, just… call if you need anything,”

You start back towards the bathroom, your eyes down and away from them, but Mingi calls out, “You remember where everything is?”

There’s no way you could forget, and you call back that you’re fine. You got it. You just need to be alone, alone is good, alone feels safe.

In the shower you scrub your skin raw, spending extra time and attention on your glands even though it makes your skin there puffy and red, pinpricks of blood at the surface of your skin and lilac bruises surrounding every edge. It doesn’t matter how comforting their scents are, nothing is taking away the deep intent of Minseok’s mouth on your neck - and the bitter, burnt citrus smell takes ages to wash away. By the time you finish, you’re about ready to collapse.

Mingi leaves you clothes again, folded neatly on his bed and ready for you. They’re nowhere to be seen, taking your plea for time alone seriously. He’s laid out a clean pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt, both fresh from the wash. The hoodie you had stolen during your heat lies next to it, and it’s a kind gesture, but suddenly you don’t want it. You want nothing.

You toss the hoodie to the side and start to climb into the bed, but that smells so heavily of cinnamon spice that you can’t think straight. You had just gotten used to blissfully smelling nothing after your shower, and so you strip the bed entirely, discarding all of the pillows and blankets and sheets into the farthest corner of the room.

The mattress is bare now, but once you turn the circulating fan off you fix the issue of the cold and his scent washing over you every time you try to close your eyes. You can still sense him, sense them, somewhere in the background, but here on the stripped bed in sterilized clothes with your skin rubbed raw, you can rest.

You drift into sleep this way, your head clear.

It doesn’t stay that way for long.

You’re not sure how long you’re asleep before you wake in abject terror, but it must be at least a couple of hours with the sky outside pitch dark and the apartment completely quiet around you. It’s obvious you’re the only one awake, but your brain can’t quite process it right. All you feel is shaking fear and the echo of hands pressing you into the wall, fingers in your hair yanking your head to the side, teeth grazing against your throat.

You scramble back, only to find the edge of the bed and you collapse off of it, ending up on the wood floor with your head spinning, Mingi’s bedside table lamp crashing down after you, a harsh flash of light pulsing through the room as the bulb breaks and gives one final dying flicker.

The pleading whine that’s caught in your throat sounds like a trapped animal to your ears, the pounding of your heart threatening to break your chest, blood rushing through your ears like a train. You can’t grasp reality, everything feels hazy and disconnected.

The door to your right bangs open, Yunho bleary and confused, but responding to your heightened state of fear within a moment. “Mingi!” He calls over his shoulder, “Mingi, get up right now,”

There’s a faraway faint noise from the other room.

Yunho skids to your side, careful not to touch you as he tries to meet your eyes in the dark, “Sweetheart, it’s just a nightmare.”

Part of you knows that you’re awake, safe and home, and not trapped in subspace with a threatening hand in your hair, but you can’t quite grip back to reality. You stutter out a reply, “I-I can’t breathe,”

“Mingi,” Yunho calls back over his shoulder again, “right now!”

“Please,” you whimper, part of your brain still lodged in the nightmare, “I can’t breathe,” Your hands cling onto the edge of the rug.

Mingi stumbles into the room now, half asleep but forced into consciousness and he’s shaking himself, catching up quickly, “What’s going on?”

You hear him, but your body is stuck remembering and you feel like there’s a weight on your chest, pressing you down harder, “I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe,” you stutter.

“Sweetheart,” Yunho comes closer now, his body curling around you carefully with his face directly at your side, “it’s a nightmare, you’re safe.” His arms loop around you gently, but stay open in case you need to move.

“I can’t,” you shake your head, images swimming before you.

“You’re not there,” he tells you, “we’re home, you’re with us, me and Mingi,”

You wheeze, trying to regulate your breath.

“Get a light,” Yunho pleads suddenly to the dark room, and you can hear scrambling, “she can’t see where she is, get a light on.”

Mingi trips over the discarded lamp on the floor, and fumbles back to the lightswitch on the wall near the door, searching for it with his hands but reluctant to tear his eyes away from you. Suddenly the room floods with the overhead light, a stark fluorescent glow, and the black spots across your vision start to clear.

“I have you, I have you,” Yunho repeats, holding you to him.

Your hand searches blindly for Mingi on the other side of you and he collapses next to you both, taking your hand and moving in to cradle you from the opposite side, “Baby,” he murmurs, “look around, look where you are,”

Yunho’s hand on your thigh grounds you, and then Mingi softly touches your jaw to draw your gaze to him, “Look at me,”

Your eyes flick up. He looks tired, exhausted even, his hair a wayward haystack. You blink hard, “What happened to you?”

“To me?” Mingi’s brow furrows and he glances up past you to Yunho.

“You need sleep,” You manage.

Mingi laughs sharply and cups your cheeks, “I’ll sleep later. Can you tell me where you are?”

“Your place,” You manage, and you feel the nightmare receding back into your mind inch by precious inch, your breath steadying out.

“Yeah,” He sighs, “Yeah, that’s right,”

“I’m home with you,” You repeat, your fingers sinking into the plush rug beneath you.

Yunho swallows hard, fixated on the way you’ve called their apartment home, not their home, for the third time tonight. You watch the flicker of recognition in his eyes, but he lets it pass and so do you.

Tears well up in your eyes again and you sigh, “I’m sorry about your lamp,”

“What?” Mingi’s brow furrows, “Who cares about that?”

“Still,” You manage, “I’m such a mess right now,”

“If you weren’t a mess I’d be more worried,” Yunho takes your hand in his, squeezing your fingers, “and you can take all the time you need to be a mess, we’re here.”

You slump forwards onto his shoulder, “I’m… so tired,”

“Let’s get you back to bed,” Yunho soothes, his voice soft.

You nod, letting them both ease you up to your feet, but when they turn to the bed Mingi makes a soft, confused noise, “Where?”

“Oh,” You gesture towards the corner where all his bedding is wrapped up in a ball, “I’m sorry I was just… it was too much,”

Mingi’s jaw tightens, the muscles in his neck jumping as he swallows hard, and you know he’s holding down so much anger, that someone could have scared you enough that any alpha’s scent became overwhelming, that your fear might extend even to them.

“Okay,” Yunho cuts in easily, “whatever you want,”

He eases you back onto the mattress, but the idea that they might be gone again strikes a deep lance of panic through your stomach and you grasp his arm, “Don’t go,”

“Are you sure?” He murmurs.

“Please,” You insist, tugging his arm again.

He eases down beside you, and Mingi crosses to the opposite side of the bed so he can follow suit, sidling up to your back but careful not to touch you until you make it clear that you want him to. You fold your arm underneath your head and rest yourself down, and when your hair shifts off your neck you hear Yunho’s sharp intake of breath at the sight of your tender gland.

“Baby, what,” He reaches for you, fingertips hovering, “sweetheart, what did you do?”

“I’m fine,” You murmur but when you feel fingers gently coast over the raw skin you hiss sharply in pain and both their hands pull back.

“y/n,” Mingi’s voice is low, shaky, and he scoops up your arm to check your wrists, finding them as swollen and bruised, “oh my god,”

“I know,” You murmur, letting your eyes drift shut.

“This is not okay,” Mingi sounds pained, “you can’t hurt yourself like this,”

“I’m okay, I promise,”

“We could have helped,” Yunho insists, “we could have scented you again, both of us, or called Seonghwa, or something, anything,”

“Seonghwa?” You start, but Mingi cuts you off as he pushes your hair further to the side to see more of your neck.

He makes a tight noise with his tongue against his teeth, “These look tender, Yunho’s right,”

“You scented me plenty,” You shake your head, letting your hair fall back into place, “but I promise, I’m okay,”

Mingi wraps his arms around you from behind, tucking you close to his chest and dropping his head onto yours, “You’re scaring me,” he confesses into your hair.

“I know,” You murmur, “but I wasn’t trying to hurt myself,”

“And now?” Yunho asks softly.

“I’m a little better,” You pull him closer, “I was overwhelmed earlier and… even you both I didn’t want, but now? I feel safer, clearer,”

Yunho kisses your forehead, letting his lips linger as you all get your emotions back in check, “Okay,”

“Can we stay just like this?” You nuzzle into him, pulling Mingi in closer behind you until you’re snuggled up so tight you might overheat .

“I’ll be wherever you want,” Mingi wraps his hand around yours and tucks them into your chest.

Yunho murmurs his agreement softly and you nod, letting their heat soak into your body and releasing your tense muscles bit by bit. You were supposed to tell them how you felt already, you need to get it out in the open before things get too blurry again, but right now you have to let it go.

Silence stretches between the three of you, their breathing even and low, and you’re not sure if they’re asleep or awake when you make your quiet plea in the dark but in a whisper you beg them to never, ever let you go again. At least for tonight, they hold you fast.

#this night together fic #honeyhotteoks fics #yunho x reader #mingi x reader #yungi x reader #yunho #mingi #yungi #ateez fic #yunho fic #mingi fic #yunho ff #mingi ff #ateez ff #ateez series

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bottle-of-harpoons · 2 months

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Bruv, this took soo fucking long.

New AU dropping, boys.

So basically it's a hybrid between the 'toxic chain/possessed Kieran' AU and the 'Kieran is Ogerpon' AU.

In this AU, the events of the teal mask play out normally.

After Kieran looses his fight to Julianna, he starts hearing a mysterious voice in his head. It starts playing with his insecurities and telling him he needs to be stronger.

"That's why the oger didn't want you as a trainer. You were too weak".

Thanks to the voices advise and 'encouragement', Kieran quickly rises through the ranks of the Blueberry League and becomes champion. However, he also becomes a massive jackass.

The voice tell him that everyone is beneath him. He starts bullying other club members until the point were everyone is too imtimidated by him to hang out with him.

He is distant and aggressive towards the Elite 4. He doesn't even attend meetings and barley does any of his champion responsibilities, causing Amarys and Crispin to step up. Lacey was too busy helping Cyrano with academic duties. Drayton dedicated all his time to helping out the trainers Kieran bullied.

Kieran started skipping classes and dedicated all his time to training. The only person who still talked to him was Carmine.

However, after months of trying to reach out, Kieran finally snapes at Carmine, causing her to retreat from him. After this, Kieran finally realises he is truly alone. But thats when the voice makes a deal with him.

He could continue living his life alone and unloved or he could dawn the mask and start a new life. Kieran takes the mask, not fully understanding the deal. He ends up loosing his human form and turning into an Ogerpon. It is then that the voice reveals itself as Pecharunt and it steals Kieran human life.

Because of Kieran's shitty behaviour, he suspended from the academy for one month and 'Kieran' is sent back to Kitikami.

Kieran is left roaming around the Terrarium, dealing with the fact that he is now a pokemon and a whole fuck load of self esteem issues.

However, he is eventually found by Carmine and the new exchange student, Julianna.

Some notes in this AU -

Kieran isn't evil. He's a young child who needs help and the only people who notice are also children themselves. (Carmines doing what she can but she's still young and inexperienced)

Pecharunt has no control over Kierans actions or emotions. He basically says things to Kieran to encourage his negative thoughts and continue his unhealthy downward spiral.

I didn't explain this earlier but when Kieran put on the Ogerpon mask, he left behind a human mask that represents his human form. Pecharunt is currently wearing it.

Pecharunt wants a family again. He woke up many years later to find the old couple he used to live with had died. He wanted a family again but he wanted to live equally among the humans as well. So he started scheming to steal Kierans human life.

His plan just consists of him manipulating Kierans life until he was completely cut off from his friends and family. Once Kieran has nothing, he could trick Kieran into trading him his human life, then he could rebuild Kieran's life from the ground up.

Kieran's not having fun adjusting to life as a pokemon but he believes it's his punishment for being a dick to everyone.

Juliana's meowscarada is called Verde (haven't figured out what the rest of her team consists of yet). Carmine's mightyanna is called Subarashi (Suba for short), her sinistchi is called Chia, morpeko is Kamu and ninetails is Kyu (I used google translate for this, sorry if they're weird). Kieran's furret is called Shippo and his hydrapple is called Ringo.

Fun fact - This plot concept was taken from an old submas fanfic I started writing but never finished. Short summary was Ingo coming back to modern day Unova but he still has amnesia. His and Emmets relationship becomes very strained. Emmets ends up making a deal with Giratina to help turn him into a zorua and use hi illusion powers to get close to Ingo again. (I may post a full summary of the story one day)

Because of this, in the original draft, Kieran was going to turn into a zorua. I changed it just incase I ever wanted to revisits the old fic. Also I thought it would be funny if he turned into ogerpon.

This was heavily inspired by the Kieranpon au, the possessed Kieran au and the movie 'a whisker away'.

Sorry for any spelling errors. No excuse just can't spell for shit.

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cenorii · 1 month

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RE headcanons!

PART 1 (if you like it I'll make a sequel with other characters. I was just bored)

My serious headcanons about some RE characters. Some I'll write about more than others because I thought about them more often, I apologize in advance.

Chris Redfield

— his favorite color is green, he enjoys this color and adds it to any set of clothes, even his military gear. He doesn't care if shades of green may not match at all in the same outfit, he just wears that color because he loves it.

— his favorite genre of music in the early years, judging by his daring clothes, guitar and references to «Queen», was heavy metal and pop-rock. Nowadays, many years later, he probably likes the laid-back tunes of «Roxette» and «Savage» because Chris' life has become hectic and he needs an island of peace.

— he smokes, but he's not a heavy smoker. In his youth, Chris smoked a lot and often, judging by his concept art. Now, however, he smokes to get in the right frame of mind and pace, to focus and calm down.

— After the amnesia episode, Chris stopped drinking and now only drinks on holidays. Drinking has become disgusting to him, it reminds him of his episode of weakness.

— Chris prefers his natural scent, doesn't use any special perfume on himself because he washes with regular soap.

— he's a latent gay man, but he's never been in a relationship. Chris seriously doesn't understand why he isn't attracted to women. The last thing he thinks about is his real orientation. He's silly.

— he likes Wesker more than Chris is willing to admit. Since he doesn't realize what kind of attraction it is, Chris doesn't guess his crush. He's too inexperienced in love affairs to realize it. Especially when it comes to Wesker, who he has a ton of emotions associated with, a lot of which are negative.

— Chris has some guitar skills, but after 1998, he barely remembers it. He can't sing, he's just an amateur at it.

— he doesn't know how to cook, ordering takeaways. Chris doesn't like junk food, having given up his attempts to learn how to cook and not even opening the cookbook Claire gave him.

— Chris never has enough time to shave his face or cut his hair. But that doesn't bother him.

— he had a low grade in school, Chris liked fun more than textbooks.

Wesker

— his favorite color is blue, but Wesker doesn't like others to know too much about it, so he adds this color to his clothes very carefully. Blue color in his clothes has never been the main color, it is only an accent.

— Wesker doesn't usually listen to music, he prefers silence, but if he had to choose, he would settle for Frank Sinatra songs. He can only listen to something that won't throw him off his thoughts.

— Wesker doesn't smoke or drink. Spencer dreamed of creating an ideal society, so he raised the Weskers as ideal people. Such people should not drink and smoke. These people should only spend time on self-development and so on.

— he doesn't swear. Wesker doesn't like and/or know how to swear because of his «proper» upbringing. He will never insult a person with a rude word, but will pick up the most innocuous one, even if he is very angry. Who shouts «self-righteous fools» or «ignorant cretins» in anger? Only the child or Wesker, because in his situation I'd be yelling «assholes», «fucking bastards» and so on. He's polite and well-mannered, just like Spencer wanted.

— he has a good sense of humor. Wesker doesn't seem like a joker because his jokes are very subtle and infrequent. He says «I have a date to keep» and then goes and destroys the Red Queen with the phrase «goodbye, fair lady», isn't he the most serious joker in fandom after that?

— Wesker is pansexual, but he doesn't care about relationships and so he, like Chris, is not even aware of his preference. He doesn't pay attention to it, so his involvement with Ms. Muller or his sudden obsession with Chris doesn't give him any reason to wonder what his orientation is. He doesn't care.

— he's in love with Chris, but he sees those feelings as a manifestation of his pride in him.

— his bathroom shelf is filled with various self-care products, and he is very worried about his appearance. First, the smell of his perfume enters the room, and then Wesker enters.

— Ms. Muller was not just a «one-night stand» for him, there was a warm relationship between them, because she remained in good opinion of him and even kept the child. This is a side of Wesker that is unknown to the players, because he had no opportunity or chance to show it. I think they broke up because Wesker was getting too attached to this woman and she was becoming his weakness, and he «can't have weaknesses». His job may have also interfered with the relationship, causing Muller to make her own decision to get out of his way, keeping the good memories alive. Wesker, on the other hand, tried to forget about that pleasant time with her so it wouldn't interfere with him.

— he is not ashamed to recognize someone else's merits and praise another person. He appreciates people who are good at something, he is sincere about it.

— Wesker is not a villain and an antagonist, he is the anti-villain. He has all the personality traits that fit that definition. He is not the pure evil that many believe him to be due to their inattention.

— he can cook, and he does it well. Wesker is known for being great at everything and cooking is no exception. Back in the days of S.T.A.R.S., he took care of his healthy diet, but once he gained power and became a bioterrorist, he stopped cooking for himself, preferring to order food from restaurants or have a personal chef. Because of the virus, he doesn't need to eat as often as normal people, so he really enjoys the process, since it rarely happens.

— because of his principles or Spencer's upbringing, Wesker can't directly harm a child. Children have never been a target for him, and he considers it beneath his dignity.

— his name is a mononym. Wesker doesn't call himself Albert and doesn't like it when others do (but doesn't stop them out of politeness). He is Wesker to everyone and to himself. However, there is a contradiction here — he hates the word «Wesker» and this whole project. Surely he must have considered changing his name if he had achieved the evolution of humanity. He still uses his initials AW when necessary.

Leon S Kennedy

— Leon has no color preference, he wears whatever clothes he feels comfortable in. He doesn't care if the colors don't match.

— he loves children and is easy to get along with.

— he uses feminine shower gels and likes sweet scents.

— likes to drink to relax or for any other reason. But he doesn't smoke.

— the music that Leon likes is very hard to define. He is probably a music lover who listens to whatever he likes.

— Leon isn't shy about swearing. He likes to make silly jokes to lighten the mood.

— He knows how to cook, but not very well, but these skills are enough for him. Leon can make toast or fry eggs, but it would be difficult for him to cook something more complicated, so he often watches tutorials on the Internet or eats fast food.

— Leon is bisexual and he knows it. He's crazy about Ada Wong, but he tries to hide it, which is unsuccessful.

— he likes karaoke.

— it annoyed him that if he showed up in any kind of transportation, there was a high probability of an accident or something. He sometimes wondered if he was a loser.

— he had a girlfriend once, but the affair was so casual that it broke up after almost a month.

— In school he had average grades, Leon could not be called a bad student, but he was not an excellent student either.

Ada Wong

— her favorite color is not only red, but also black.

— she loves elegant clothes and doesn't care if they don't fit her work. Despite the design, Ada chooses only clothes in which she can move freely.

— only Wesker knows her real name, and her name «Ada Wong» is just a rehash of «AW» (Albert Wesker).

— I like to think that she and Wesker could have acted like best friends, but voluntarily opted out for personal reasons.

— Ada pretends not to like music, but she actually likes «Marina and the Diamonds». She listens to these songs alone, in a deserted place.

— she smoked once, but she quit. She doesn't drink.

— Ada doesn't have any holidays, she doesn't even celebrate her own birthday.

— she's straight, and she's openly attracted to Leon.

— loves subtle scents in perfume, she always smells nice, but this scent is barely perceptible.

— Ada can't cook and hasn't tried to learn. She eats food from cafes and prefers to go there herself instead of having it delivered.

— She has no problem with foreign languages, she probably knows a few besides English.

— she was an honors student in school and she's easy to learn new things.

— Ada is an anti-hero.

Alex Wesker

— Alex's favorite color is white. It is the color of sterility and truth that she strives for in her research.

— I guess her full name is Alexandra.

— loves getting her nails done to cheer herself up. Due to illness and failed experiments, she is always in a bad mood, so taking care of herself helps her keep her head cool and rational.

— Alex loved her own short hair, which she had in the past, but it reminded her too much of Albert, whom she respected. Because of what she knew about «Project W» and the truth about them, Alex felt a kind of guilt for keeping her brother in the dark and lying. So she changed her image so she wouldn't think about it.

— she's a lesbian.

— Alex knows Russian.

— she must have a secret altar in her house dedicated to Albert.

— she respects Albert so much that she even tries to think and act like him. It is forbidden to insult her brother in her presence, even though they have hardly ever met and are not related.

— Alex did grieve when she learned of her brother's death in the volcano. But when she learned of his death in 1998, she was not sad, because she had not yet had time to get to know him so well and get into his personality.

— the clothes Alex wears are formal and office style. She doesn't like to wear something informal because she feels insecure in it.

— the mole under her eye is painted, or appeared there with age.

— Alex likes only classical music, her ear cannot perceive anything from modern genres.

— Has never thought about relationships, but can admit if she likes someone.

— Alex's only humor is black.

— often communicates with quotes from books, like someone quotes from songs. This helps her to express her thoughts properly and emphasize them.

— she's a lot harder to piss off than Albert.

#resident evil #rebhfun #chris redfield #albert wesker #leon s kennedy #ada wong #alex wesker #resident evil headcanons #I don't want to offend anyone

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major-wren · 8 months

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I love the "ARK siblings" concept and I love cute lighthearted fanart of them being siblings but I feel like a lot of people forget that they literally canonically share a soul and that her death is, in my opinion, I think supposed to represent a part of one's self dying and that they're supposed to be, symbolically, a lot more than siblings.

I always saw Shadow's story as a symbolic way to express the way your inner child and innocence is sacrificed in order to survive complex childhood trauma. Maria's color scheme and the way she's written is, I think, clear to all of us how she's meant to represent innocence and youth. I mean, she doesn't really function very well as a stand-alone character or realistic depiction of a child, shes always been more of an.. idea.

I'm not sure if it was purposeful, but the moon's "Maria" are craters that formed from the moon repeatedly taking the hits of asteroids at it's points of gravity. These points of gravity attract asteroids and draws then away from the Earth. The craters are mostly on the side of the moon we see, so the dark side of the moon, or "shadowed" side is better protected because of that. I feel like this is an extension of Shadow and Maria's symbolism. She took the bullet for him, protecting him, the same way Maria takes the comets, and the same way your brain will sacrifice your inner child (or freeze/rush your mental development) in order to survive intense childhood abuse. I know it all sounds extreme lmao but at the end of the day characters and storytelling are used to explore and express hard emotions and I don't think this randomly tragic character sprung out of nowhere for the Sonic games, which, before that point, always had very lighthearted positive characters (except for the echidna extinction in the game right before Shadow's). Having a character that was easy to approach, yet could represent scarier concepts as a child-friendly stand-in, felt like a very important tool to me growing up. I just hope that that writing can be appreciated in his character, with an understanding of how messy production can be and how a character can get pulled between many different people and ideas. I do think this symbolism was intentional to some degree, especially when it gets to the blatant soul-sharing and how characters insist that Shadow can't be a weapon because Maria's soul (his inner child and true morals despite the damage done to him) makes him "good hearted."

There's other things that uphold this symbolism of Maria dying as representing his inner child being killed, like the rushed/suspended mental development in the face of trauma being illustrated by the fact that Shadow was forced into a dormant cyro slumber right after Maria's death, symbolizing the way he had to basically skip childhood or hit pause on development until he could escape the people controlling him. Much like how victims will have to pause everything and go on autopilot with only a goal of survival until they can escape their situation; only after they feel safe can they begin growing as a person and find their identity. In the Japanese language, there are different types of pronouns people can refer to themselves with instead of just "I" or "myself." In the Japanese dub of SA2, Shadow's creator said in an interview that he had been very insistent on Shadow using the pronouns reserved for young boys, despite Shadow's menacing villain role in the game, because he felt it was important to show Shadow's purity and his lack of experience in life so far. That "live and learn" theme.

And then in his self titled game, Shadow is searching for a way to reconnect with his past and to find the truth about this Maria person he keeps seeing in flashbacks, but in the end he throws away her picture and accepts himself as he is now, forever changed and stained by his past, but more than just a product of his situation. He is "all of him," including the negative impact he never asked for, and including the parts of himself he lost, but also the parts of himself he chose to become. Your environment and childhood shapes you even if you didn't want it to, but that doesnt mean you cant have control in your identity and recover your inherent nature once you've escaped the negative influence (nature vs nurture theme). He will never be the person he used to be, or could have been, (represented by Maria as a pure and untouched youth), but he still has a say in what that grows into.

I just feel like a lot of Shadow's identity issues and inner conflict stem from this whole soul sharing situation with Maria and that his character ends up inevitably being misunderstood if you water them down to just siblings. Especially considering that it was never answered if Shadow actually even ever met Maria or if they're just memories planted by Gerald or caused by the shared soul. In Sonic Battle, it's also said in Gerald's diary that not only do Maria and Shadow share identical souls, but that Gerald literally modeled Shadow after Maria out of his love for her. I'm not sure to what degree or in what ways, but Shadow is supposed to share purposeful similarities with Maria, likely through the content of her character and her morals. That's what makes them so much deeper than just psuedo siblings, he's not only made for her, but designed after her too. It can't really be compared to, for example, Sonic and Tails.

I also think its what makes Shadow's character so substantial and meaningful. His self titled game's entire theme was purity, morals, what is good and bad. This question of purity and morality spreads into his appearances in other stories too- This question that, if you were badly hurt in your youth and shaped by evil- does that leave you impure? Stained? Destined to continue that cycle of harm and cruelty? I think these insecurities feel very real and relatable, and that it's even more realistic that despite these insecurities, that hurt and damage is actually what fuels him to protect others. Just as he said in Sonic Battle, "There's no need to repeat past tragedies! Nobody else ever needs to go through the things that I have!"

Statistically (despite media portrayal) abuse victims RARELY become abusers, because they understand the pain on a deeper level and can't bring themselves to force someone else into experiencing that same pain, knowing the permanent damage it causes. However, childhood abuse leaves people socially stunted and conditioned to harshness, which causes them to accidentally hurt others without meaning to. Or they end up hurting people out of desperation if they feel endangered (like Shadow's "means to an end" approach where he'll prioritize violence if it means reducing the end-impact). Also, they are more susceptible to being abused again after escaping the first abuser, because they are so susceptible to manipulation- Just like how whenever Shadow does switch sides, its usually because someone manipulated him into it or literally brainwashed him. I think Shadow conveys all of this so well, and that Maria's true role is an integral part of it all that can't be ignored or misunderstood, or else Shadow ends up reading as unnecessarily violent or overly obsessed with her when you interpret her as just a sister-figure that he knew for... who knows how few years.

I think this symbolism runs deep with his writing. Just like Maria's meant to be that inherent purity and inner child, I think the black arms DNA is that stain that abuse or trauma can leave on you, that causes you to act out or feel like you're always holding back and trying to keep control over some darker part of yourself that was left behind in the damage done. Especially since they literally have a mind link with Shadow. In the Sonic Universe comic, they succeed in brainwashing Shadow and turn him against his friends. These mind-links, soul-sharing, and brain-washing from both Gerald and the black arms... To disregard the fact that he's deeply connected to these people on a metaphysical, identity altering level is to water down his character and leave it feeling as though his motives are too weak to justify his harsh actions. I've seen people poke fun at his amnesia or insecurity in his identity, as though his confusion isn't justified, and I think it's because people don't realize he has these... literal fragments of other people inside of him, that that's pretty much what he's made of, kind of franken-steined together between a little girl's hopes and morals, an alien race's hivemind greed, a weapon-hungry government and a revenge maddened scientist's painful grief, and even the chaos emeralds which we all know are spiritually whacky and potentially connected to another alien race's memories and energies (the ancients from sonic frontiers). With all of that going on, plus some amnesia mixed in and his memories having been altered by Gerald- I mean.. you'd be searching for the "truth" of your identity too, who you really are. And of course, prone to frustration and aggression, or even a "wish-washy inconsistency." I think there's always a constant tug of war inside of him and that his whole development was a game of tug of war between Gerald, G.U.N and the black arms too. "Am I a cure, am I a death-bringer, am I earth's protector, am I it's destroyer," etc etc

Idk I just think a lot of problems people have with Shadow's writing stems from not realizing how deep things go and what they symbolize. Not to say that something like his boom characterization is of good quality or anything, but I think it's unfair to call him inconsistent when a confusion in his own identity and purpose/goals is kind of the point. And I think people not realizing Maria's deeper, physiological connection to him and influence might be part of the problem.

#major mumbles #shadow the hedgehog #ark siblings #maria robotnik #gerald robotnik #sonic the hedgehog #sth #shth #sonic adventure 2 #shadow the hedgehog headcanon #sonic headcanon #sonic analysis

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neteyamsyawntu · 7 months

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Kinktober 22

I n T h e O c e a n

Ralak x Metkayina!Reader

Warnings: 🔞MINORS DNI🔞, alien genitalia, P in V, mentions of unsuccessful child conception, fingering

Art and Ralak are both created by @zestys-stuff

“I thought I may find you here, ma’paysyul.” The familiar voice sounds from behind you, like a calming roll of thunder. “And why is that?” You ask, with your legs dipped into the water, your eyes absentmindedly fixated on the crystalline lake. “Because you often come here when you are upset, my love.” His voice is a low purr as he sits behind you, bringing your form to sit between his spread legs, his back against your chest while he rests his cheek on your head, “Tell me what troubles you ma’ txe’lan…” Ralak coos, his hand slipping to gently rub circles on your thigh, while the other pushes strands of fallen hair out of your face to place a soft kiss at the nape of your neck.

A content sigh leaves you at your mate’s comforting touches, it had become a talent of his to calm you down with just the simplest of touches. Physical touch being each of your strongest forms of love language. “Please do not be cross with me, my yawntu…” you start with a small voice, almost scared to tell him the reason behind your distress. Not because he would react negatively, but that his own feelings would be hurt in the process. “An impossible task, but continue.” A hint of humor sounds in his voice with this comment and a slight smile grows on your lips at this, before slowly falling to a frown.

It had been almost a year since you last tried to conceive a child with your mate. Attempt after attempt you found your motivation and self image take a drastic hit. While your womb mourned for a child it never had, you abstained from even the smallest of physical contact with Ralak, all out of fear that you were not worthy of his affections, yet he never held it against you. When he did finally attempt to touch you again only for it to be accepted with no retaliation, a weight had lifted from his shoulders and little by little things felt like they were back to normal.

“I-… it is selfish maybe, but I can’t help the ache in my womb ‘Lak…” you confess almost regrettably as your hand caresses over your barren womb, “I was too… caught up in my own self doubt … yet I fear that I’ve neglected you in the process.”. Ralak watches from over your shoulder as your eyes gloss over with tears, yet they don’t quite seem to fall, in fact a sign of hopefulness seems to shine through. You carefully shift your position to slide into the cool embrace of the water, letting it sit just below your hips as you turn to face your mate.

Ralak offers a warm expression as you position yourself between his legs, letting your hands rest on his chest. Your eyes linger on the build of his muscles before looking up to meet his longing gaze, “I want you, ma’ Ralak.” You hum, looking doe eyed into his own. Ralak let’s out a soft sigh, lifting his large hand to cup your cheek, caressing it’s bone with his thumb, “Are you sure of this, paysyul? There is no need to force yourself. We can wait as long as you want.”, “I tire of waiting ‘Lak, and you have already spent too many ruts on your own…” gently grasping his hand in both of yours your slowly guide it down to your chest, just above your breasts, “I miss you my muntxatan. I miss your touch.”.

Confliction plays in Ralak’s expression as he slightly shifts his weight, bringing his other hand to press into the small of your back, “Is this what you want, ma’ Y/N?” He hums, watching your eyes intently, knowing that any hesitation would be shown in them like glass, yet you showed no restraint. Leaning forward you press a kiss to Ralak’s jawline, just below his ear, while your hand drifts down his torso, letting your fingers venture over each muscle, vein, and scar until reaching the hem of his tewng. “I’m sorry I’ve left you for so long, my love… let me make it up to you.” Your voices comes out as a soft whisper, your tongue curling around his earlobe to bring it into your mouth, giving it a light suck as your hand dips past his loincloth to run a finger up his slit, where his cock was slowly protruding out of.

Ralak sucks in a shaky breath, leaning his head against yours, his ears flattening as he releases said breath with a strained groan, “Paysyul… how is to that we’ve hardly started and you’re already teasing me?” Ralak huffs, his brows slightly pinched and a darkened color rising over his face, his ears suddenly feeling hot to the touch. “Because my mate, your paysyul loves to have her strong warrior husband melting at her fingertips~.” You muse cheekily, nipping lightly at his ear while you hold out your hand to feel his hardening cock slowly slither out of his slit and into your palm, feeling the weight of him gradually growing heavier.

Just as you had figured, your words strike a nerve with your mate as your hand is suddenly yanked from beneath his tewng. Both of Ralak’s arms lock around you tightly lifting you into the air with him as he moves into the water, to sit on a submerged stone ledge below the water, pulling you onto his lap, where his cock now throbbed, fully erect and present beneath your intimates. “It’s not nice to tease, love.” He purrs, running the tip of his nose along the side of your neck before peppering it with purposeful kisses, his arms encasing your body against his, rolling his hips to grind his cock against your clothed folds slowly.

Your head dips back at the sensation, wrapping your arms lazily around his neck, “Mmn~. Whose teasing now, hm?” You jest, gliding your moistening loincloth against cock to match his pace. “Hush.” Ralak grunts, his hands forcefully working to untie you loincloth, practically tearing it from your body, tossing it onto the rocks behind him. “You too…” you pout, pulling suggestively at his loincloth, almost yelling in surprise when Ralak suddenly stands with you in his arms, his one hand supporting your ass while his other masterfully unties his tewng, keeping eye contact with you, “You are quite needy today little one. Do not worry, we’ll get you fixed right up.” Ralak sighs against your skin, leaning in to attach his lips to your own whilst slowly turning around, setting you down to sit on the submerged rock ledge.

In another quick flurry of movements, you are coaxed onto your knees, your tail swaying back and forth tapping against your mate’s hip, to which Ralak in return runs his hand over the length of your tail, stroking it slowly from base to tip before leaning over your backside, to bury his nose in your hair, “My sweet syulang… ‘smell so fucking good for me.” He hums raspily into your ear, morphing into growled huffs as his fingers are guided back to the base of your tail and down your rear, parting your slippery pussy lips, causing your breath to hitch.

His touch was hungry, adamant in his desire to have every inch of you trembling for him once he’s finally had his way with you. Your eyes close, breathing a soft mewl as his two fingers move back and forth through your folds, always so close to inserting them into you, yet settling for letting a single knuckle tease your opening. The bioluminescent freckles of your body gleam in the dimly lit cave as your temperature rises, eagerly pushing your hips back onto his fingers in a silent plea to make him give you want your body ached for. “There she is… my little tanhì…” tanhì the name he called you when your freckles shown particularly bright. He’d always comment on how gorgeous you looked, often admiring your speckled figure in the night while you slept. You were his own personal star. His tanhì.

“Do not act coy, tanhì… I want to hear you beg for it.” He rumbles, pressing hot, tender kisses into your jaw as you arched your neck back, his fingers continuing to massage your wetness, dragging your arousal to smear it over your clit, yet cheekily enough never staying on it for too long. Perhaps a bit of silent payback for making him wait so long to have you, even if he sympathized with your former plight. “Haa-ah!” Your voice hitches as Ralak’s fingers pass over your clit again, “P-please ma’Lak, put them in- I want to feel your fingers in me.” You whine, biting your lip as you squirm against his hand, “Just my fingers? That is all you want?” Ralak presses, knowing that on the inside your body was screaming to be filled to the brim with his cock.

“This-“ you whine, reaching behind you to grasp at his cock, his hips following suit as you press his swollen tip, already beading with precum from how pent up he had been, to your folds, the heat radiating off his rock hard erection against your intimates makes you shudder at the contact. “Please ma’yawntu- I don’t want to wait anymore. I need you, mmn and I know you need me too~.” The last part of your sentence comes out in an almost inaudible whisper as your mouth falls open at the feeling of Ralak pushing his cock through your fold just as he had done with his fingers, a husky groan sounding from behind you, signaling that Ralak was just about through with holding off any longer himself.

“Needy little tanhì…” he repeats himself from earlier in a gravely breath, pressing his lips heavily to your neck as he pushes his cocktip against your entrance, growling low into your ear at the slightest bit of resistance. Your breath is caught in your throat, at the sensation, desperately pushing your hips back in attempts to drive him further and completely push past your opening. Ralak’s strong hands grip your hips roughly, his rasped pants filling your ears noting just how much he’s trying to restrain himself and be patient with you. “Say it again… say how much you need me.” It wasn’t a request, it was an order and great mother help you if you chose to refuse it. “Need you so bad ma’ muntxa, please, please pl-NGAAH!” With a forceful shove of his hips, your pleas are cut off with cry of passion. The feeling of Ralak stretching you out felt so new with the way your walls clung to him so erratically, “Rraagh… you feel like the first time we mated, ma’ paysyul…so tight…”

Tears begin to swell in your eyes at the overwhelming pressure of his cock forcing its way into you. It was only now that you took into account the fact that you hadn’t had him in months; the progress you had made, allowing your body to easily adjust to his size, now thrown to the wind. Here you were positioned helplessly beneath him, your body beading in a slight cold sweat, making the water at your thighs feel insufferably cold, and Ralak was less than half way inside you. Your face scrunches into a half hearted scowl as you press it into the slippery stones below you.

Ralak of course is quick to notice your state and leans over your backside you gently stroke your spine, before gently taking the thick braid of your kuru onto his grasp, “Shh… easy now paysyul, allow me to ease the pain.” He hums drawing his either hand behind his head and bringing forth his own braid, bringing the tip to meet with your own. The pink tendrils happily wriggle and twirl at the familiarity of one another before intertwining, embracing each tentacle-like strand lovingly until they fold into one cohesive connection.

The bond is immediate and your eyes dilate as you register your mate’s consciousness, his entire being. The hunger that roared at him from within finally reaching your ears and your own loins, realizing just how much he had been suppressing. A new warming sensation washes over you as you allow the same longing to submerge your thoughts, your body relaxes and suddenly your body aches, pussy clenching around what of Ralak’s cock was already inside you, “Keep going ‘Lak.. I can take it.”.

His large hand smooths down the curve of your back, ears perking to the way your body responds to him by instinctively arching your back. “I know you can, muntxa… let’s break you back in.. shall we?” With a low rumbling in his chest, Ralak wraps an arm around your shoulders, pinning your head between his forearm and bicep as he uses this new hold to assertively thrust forward, the slight bow in your back being the only thing to stop your bodies from completely pressing together, “Fu-fuck ‘Lak!” You whine meekly, your voice resembling that of a small squeak as the bulk of his cock slides through your walls.

Your hands desperately claw at his arm around your neck, yet with no intention in attempting to remove it. With an unstable exhale Ralak readies himself, letting the warmth of your slick cunt welcome his cock back after being absent for so long. “That’s it… haah.. I missed this.” In the past your little whimpers would’ve made him cautious, but now the only thing he wanted to do was fuck you like his life depended on it. Reeling his hips back Ralak nuzzles into your hair sweetly before gingerly bringing them back to meet your ass, a singular grunt leaving him as your pussy sucks him back in. Again he repeats the action, this time with a bit more vigor. More and more Ralak speeds up, however prioritizing roughness over over all agility. His thrusts bucked your body forward continuously, waves of water created by the motion crashed against your thighs, manifesting numerous ripples in the once settled lake.

Your moans echoed off the cave walls, the pressure of your neck being pushed further into the hold of his neck had your mouth permanently open, your tongue unconscious slipping out as you tried to catch your breath between your own moans and the chokehold you were being fucked into. Although the position was slightly uncomfortable, you couldn’t care less. The feeling of his fat cock owning your pussy all over again, ruining you just as he did when you had first mated was everything your body was craving for. This was pure bliss.

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#avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #avatarsmut #lunaskinktober2023 #kinktober #avatar kinktober #ralak #ralak smut #ralak x reader #ralak x y/n #ralak te Sepwan ieyk'itan #avatar smut #atwow smut #atwow

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imthepunchlord · 3 months

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What's your thoughts about the unifications?

Conceptually, unification works. Honestly, I think it makes sense being able to dual wield Miraculous. Especially working off positive and negative energy/yin-yang.

It works off that theme of balance, having two different energies being able to work together.

But, much like anything in canon, I feel the concept could've gone farther.

Like, I think it'd be neat that unification could lead to animals that don't exist as Miraculous:

Ladybug + any feline creates a Leopard themed hero.

Any bug + any reptile creates a Dragonfly themed hero.

Any reptile + any bird creates a Dragon themed hero.

Any cat + any bird creates a Griffin themed hero.

Horse + Fish could've made a Seahorse themed hero.

Cat + Goat could've made a Chimera themed hero.

Not that they really went that way and just went weird with the naming, combing the names of preexisting heroes instead of letting characters name themselves and working off their own unique personalities. Like, instead of Pegabug, I could've seen Marinette calling herself Appaloosa or if you want to go punny, Appleloosa.

I also think that dual wielding Miraculous shouldn't be that difficult, as pairs are something that always exist, and I can see the body handling matching with two different types of magical energy. Now, wielding more than 2 I can see being set up to take a toll on the body as there's more magical energy to work off of, and the higher you go the more tired you're going to be.

Though I could just be biased as I feel the temporary heroes weren't necessary and Marinette and Adrien could've juts unified with the rest and continue to handle things; I also feel that, post meeting Fu and him able to see that they were trustworthy and dedicated and were able to succeed despite HM having the being an adult edge, they should've gotten a 2nd Miraculous to have full time, not only to help give them a boost, but also allow continued growth.

Ladybug/Tikki did help with Marinette's growth in confidence and being a leader, but there's nothing else TIkki is adding to her growth (which I find it's kinda debatable how much Tikki really added to Marinette's over all growth), but at this time, Ladybug and Tikki just work off this is a responsibility than something for Marinette to grow as a character. And now she's developing an Atlas complex and that anxiety is getting worse with the pressure and expectation of the role and no one there telling Marinette she needs to prioritize and value her own needs and wants. I don't even know if this girl knows how to relax at this point. And that there is the next phase for Marinette's growth. She needs to learn to put down boundaries, to say no, to not involve herself as much, and think about her own needs and wants, cause you can't really help others until you help yourself.

Cat/Plagg was good for Adrien to gain that independence he wants, be more rebellious against his father, and to self-prioritize. But now he prioritizes his wants way too much, doesn't really treat heroing with the seriousness required nor has he stepped up as a leader and equal to Ladybug, and still readily endangers himself, to the point of self-sacrificing. And that's the next phase for his growth, get a Miraculous and kwami that will address those, learn to be more serious in fights, not to say he can no longer be a wisecrack but save the flirting and pranks for night patrols not akuma fights, step up as a leader and truly share that burden, which would've helped his partner rely on him more and trust his capability more, and address that self-sacrificing. Either learn to be more cautious or think a little bit more before acting. Like, great, you saved your partner by sacrificing yourself, but you also left her alone to deal with things, and what if the fight went poorly because she was alone, and she fails, and that sacrifice was pointless. I don't know how many more times he did so, but man it needed to be addressed.

Another factor is that unification could've been extra interesting in that combing Miraculous could've created new powers through the combination of preexisting powers.

Like Shelter + Venom could've created Shell Shock, where hitting the shield would shock and stun a target.

Shelter + Cataclysm or Clout could've made Bombshell, put up a protective dome and it sends out a destructive blast or shock wave around you.

Mirage + Cataclysm could've made Nightmare, where the illusion creates someone's worst fears.

Second Chance + Cataclysm could've made Hissterics, getting a target to live in the worst timeline.

Time travel could've existed as a unification power through combining Horse and Snake/Rabbit, if the latter still has a time power.

Though neat an idea it is, it is something that would work better with fewer Miraculous, as 19 that canon has is a lot of powers to think of possibly combining. That is 361 matches to think about and how they make a new power. And now that I got 35 I won't be doing the concept either, even more so as I'm going with Miraculous having 2 powers to offer.

So unification is a neat concept, but I think it could've gone further if they were more creative. Definitely prefer it to the potions.

#ask Punchie #ml salt #miraculous unification

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sakuraryomen01 · 1 year

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Fucked Down Below.. /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem!reader/

warnings: sukuna x female reader . smut/nsfw . dubcon so possible [rape] warning . sex on the throne, doggy style . nipple suckling, biting, and pulling . honestly, mostly a self indulge drabble . hair pulling (slight) . groping, man handling themes . slight!sadistic sukuna . stuck in sukuna's domain . some anal fingering![reader receiving] .fighting so: blood, some gore, and cursed tropes?? . featuring: yuji itadori and megumi fushiguro!

reader: female reader! (also some mentioning of yuji and y/n's relationship)

plot: gojo calls you and the troublesome duo out for a mission. one of sukuna's cursed fingers were located in a mall somewhere in a deserted ghost town a little ways away from the red light district.

words: 5.83k

a/n: this ended up as a story rather than a drabble, as i first planned, but i also thought that i might try and post something while you are all waiting for chapter 6 of Valentino! this was really fun to write and i hope to get more cheesy and goofy stuff like this out more! ^^

You had been called for a mission about an hour ago once you and your friends got into the car, being driven towards the Red Light district only to drive by the bright lights and civilians that populated the area at night.

It was one of the harshest times for you, Yuji, and Megumi.

Gojo, despite his fun-loving and almost annoying sweetness, was cracking down on missions and getting the three of you stronger than ever. He did like to live a little carefree, but the missions he was being saddled with were worse than ever, and it felt like the stress of it all was washing off on you.

Understandably, Gojo sent your band of cursed attention seeking friends off to a mission in some abandoned mall a little ways away from the district. It was reported to have multiple accidents including suicide attempts, murders, and multiple cursed wombs being born from all the negative energy.

"How many are reported being seen by sorcerers?" Megmui asked, looking from his spot in the middle of you and Yuji towards the driver of the black Honda, Kiyotaka Ijichi.

"Well, some reported up to ten low leveled spirits," Ijichi went on to say, explaining how the levels of the building provide stronger spirits and curses that you and the others would have to fight as you went along.

"The finger Gojo sent you to find must be in the lower levels of the buildings basement, where more stronger curses wait for you. There have also been multiple sightings of this one curse in particular that makes sorcerers, or young men and women from the locals, faint for long periods of time and experience random dreams or feelings during them."

"Sounds like a game," Yuji commented, making you sigh and roll your eyes while a smile plastered on your face. Both of you didn't hear the last bit of information like Megumi did, but focused on the mission none the same. "Like how levels in a video game have stronger enemies the higher, or lower the sections are!"

"I don't think that's how it's supposed to be, Itadori." Megumi cut in, pulling his phone from his pocket and started to look through things that don't concern you or Yuji. "If it helps you to think of it that way though, it doesn't bother me."

What kind of effect does the spirit have on people our age?

Yuji made a makeshift offended pout and then looked out the window to spot the abandoned warehouses and small homes behind the district. He let out a small coo in awe, seeing the broken down buildings and pressing a hand to the cold window of the car, like he was a child going to Disneyworld in America.

That spun your mind into the whole concept of funland parks and such before Ijichi pulled into the old parking lot of the 6 story tall mall.

"This is it!" He announced, though the normal jittery nervousness laced his words before he got out to cast the magical barrier to keep out locals and other curses from what dwelled inside the mall and the cursed dead inside.

You and the others got out of the Honda as well and started to make your way towards the mall while Ijichi stood by the side of the car. He watched as you all got closer and closer to the entrance, a light sweat starting to coat his brow as he set the barrier.

"Emerge from darkness, blacker still purify that which is impure."

A dark patch of cursed energy formed at the top of the mall, cascading around the building and a 10 foot radius around it and you all inside the building. The veil between you, Ijichi, and his car were slowly becoming harder and harder to see as the barrier solidified.

"I'll never get used to that," Yuji mumbled from beside you, making you smirk and punch his arm lightly.

"Are you getting chicken now, Itadori?" You teased, following Megumi as Yuji pouted and walked by your side. "I'll bet you tonight's dinner everything will be fine!"

"Y/n, you're so rude! Of course I'm not chicken!"

Megumi walked past the old, and broken metal detectors that sat at the entrance of the area and walked towards the stairs going towards the basement of the building.

"So, all in agreement of just going to where the finger is?" You chirped, raising your hair sheepishly in the form of a lighthearted joke to ease the tension that slowly started to grow.

"Agreed." The boys said, Megumi's mind elsewhere as he thought about the trouble they'll have to face. As you continued to walk around the mall, looking for curses to exercise, nothing showed up.

Not a single cursed being, scent, or even a trace of negative feelings stirred as you and the duo made your way around the building. The feelings of unease coursing through all of you as the echoing sounds of your shoes hit the floor. It made your stomachs churn as your nerves began to get even more upset.

"This is starting to get me nervous," Megumi mumbled to himself, his emerald eyes scanning all the rooms your group came across. "Nothing's come out to attack us, it's making me wonder if the reports were counterfeit."

"Counterfeit reports for cursed spirits?" You wondered, tilting your head to the side and making you speed up a little to catch up to his long strides. "Is that a thing? Has it happened before?"

"It's never happened while I've been a sorcerer," The raven haired male shook his head, looking down at you while turning a corner back to the main area of the mall.

The main area had a large fountain built in the middle, the functions of the water and such that made the fountain a fountain that appeared to have stopped working months, even years ago. It was covered in some vines and other assorted growth that also seemed to be blocking the water from shooting out of the spouts.

"Hm, if that's a possibility, could this be a trap?" Yuji asked, walking on the left side of his friend while you guys walked past the fountain and towards the stairs to the basement once again.

"Maybe, but I doubt Gojo-sensei would make us come here for something meaningless and could get us into danger."

Actually, he totally would. Your group let out a collective groan, pushing open the old door at the top of the stairs before making your way down the dark staircase.

"Anyone got a light for this shit?" You whined, patting your pockets down as you coughed at the dust lingering in the air. "I can't see anything!"

"Here, use my phone," Megumi said, pulling his device from his back pocket and turning on the flash, handing it to you as Yuji chuckled behind him.

You turned your eyes up towards the pastel haired boy, frowning with annoyance. "What are you laughing at?"

"N-Nothing, I promise!" Yuji teased, nodding towards your dusty clothing. "Just wondering if you're allergic to dust or something. Thought it'd be kinda cute, ya'know?"

Your cheeks tinted a light pink as your stomach bubble with embarrassment, thought you let out a cool sigh and smirked.

"Ah yes, it's quite cute when a girl sneezes from dust or pollen."

Yuji chuckled again as your feet touched the bottom of the stairs. The floor creaks loud and echoes throughout the empty space, making a shiver go up your already spooked spine. Megumi tries to settle the worry by summoning his divine dogs, sending them around to look for any scents or traces of cursed energy. Though, they reported nothing, just like upstairs.

"This is starting to look more and more like a set up," You conclude, moving the flash from the staircase to around the dark area. Yuji and Megumi walking at your sides forward into the dusty abode.

"Dude, there's so much junk down here," Yuji mutters to himself, kicking at an old clown figure that was supposedly for a child's play area or something. "And these old things are giving me the creeps."

"Eyes that are dead inside."

"Like Fushiguro."

The small insult made Megumi turn his attention towards you and Yuji who already had your hands up for forgiveness. "I'll punch you both if you don't take this more seriously."

"Alright, alright!"

Megumi continues his little search, telling you and Yuji to spread out and look for something to conduct some light. You found a few lamps and such from sales, but they either had no bulbs or the plug-ins were broken. Bent or torn off in the more simple cases.

"I found some small holdable lamps," Yuji announced, lifting the kind of lamp you'd take out for camping. Though, they were more kiddy themed, and they were quite small. "They'll be useful, right?"

"I suppose," Megumi said, grabbing one of the lamps and managing to power it on, holding his hand out for his phone.

You passed him his phone and turned on your own lamp, looking around the room before pointing at another set of stairs that led downward. Deeper into the ground and into the basement of whatever creepy place this old mall was.

"Alright, let's get going," Yuji nodded once his lamp was on, following you and Megumi down another flight of stairs before there was a deep rumble throughout the room.

You, Megumi, and Yuji stood still. The sound of something moving around below makes all of your hearts stop. You look towards the boys, seeing Yuji's face go from a cheerful smile to a pale straight faced look of fear. Megumi's was like before, although the bombing of his Adam's apple told you he was uneasy about the situation.

"Sh-Should we keep going?" You asked hesitantly, pressing your lips together as a cold sweat started.

"..Do we have to?" Yuji whimpered quietly, looking between you and Megumi. "I mean, I don't want to see the face of what just shook a big ass building, do you?"

You wholeheartedly agreed, but the look Megumi was giving you told you to keep moving. Letting out a shaking groan, you continued your path towards the stairs and started going down them. The rumbling and the constant shaking of the area made your heart leap into your throat, your lungs felt like they were shrinking with how little you were able to breath.

"Oh my- blech!" Yuji grimaced, holding his nose and drawing you and Megumi's attention, pinching his nose. "Don't y'all smell that? It's horrible!"

You take a sniff and immediately regret it, you could smell it too. A sweet, but almost disgusting tang to it. It hit you suddenly and made you clasp a hand to your mouth and nose, looking back towards the exit of the stairs. "Ughh.. That's terrible. It smells like barfed up candy."

"Don't make a mental image of it, Y/n!" Megumi huffed, continuing to walk towards the exit until he was able to poke his head out to see where the scent was coming from.

Though, what you expected was a trash heap that some hobo may have left, that's not what you got. In fact, what you got was a strange lump that sat in the back ends of the room. The room itself was the same as the basement area above, just darker and more air tight.

What is that? You thought, looking towards the lump in the back, seeing some slight movement but no cursed energy.

"Oi, don't get too close," Megumi warned, tugging at your shoulder a little to stop you in your tracks. "I can't see it that well. I'll let my dogs deal with it, okay?"

You gave a nod, but began to inspect the area around you. Seeing nothing but some broken down attractions from sales like in the upper floor, some actually broken and missing pieces. In the background, you could hear Megumi's dogs bark, and a sudden surge of cursed energy and power was released.

It knocked you to your feet, making you gasp and cough while Yuji and Megumi let out a yell. You looked behind you to see that the lump in the corner had stood up and took shape of a cursed being.

It had long, dark purple tentacles and its main body resembled that of a worm, or maggot. Its flesh appeared to glisten under the lamps light, and you assumed it'd be hard to actually punch or kick.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Yuji asked, running to your side to help you up, kneeling as his eyes continued to be glued on the monster. "Hurry, we gotta get out of here!"

The divine dog's barking and growling echoed throughout your head, making you whimper but stand nonetheless. Leaning your weight into Yuji, you looked back to see Megumi running after the curse that was trying to escape through a large crack in the wall behind it.

The cursed energy that hit you was continuously flowing from it, wave after wave, making your head hurt and your body ache. Yuji tugged on your arm, trying to follow Megumi to no avail.

"C'mon, get on my back, Y/n," Yuji cooed, kneeling and looking back at you as if to comfort. "We gotta follow them and keep Megumi safe."

"Th-The finger.. I think it--" You started, your voice weak, but you were interrupted by a high pitched screech from the cursed spirit.

There was a small struggle, and then the sound of rocks and the mall's floor break from above sounded. Once you climbed onto Yuji's back in a hurry, Yuji stood and ran back towards the stairs. Running as fast as he could, managing to get back up into the main mall area once again and spotting Megumi halfway across in a department store.

"Fushiguro!" Yuji yelled, seeing Megumi stumbling out of the store, an obvious cut or two visible on his arm and cheek. Yuji placed you near the fountain and turned his attention to the curse.

"That thing, it looks like the amount of cursed energy that it emits makes people faint! Maybe that's why some locals were reported to fall asleep or faint on the scene?!"

Running towards it as cursed energy began to flow to his hands, creating extra power and force before he jumped and punched the slimy surface of the creature. You heard him yelp at the texture and jump back before the curse swung a tendral towards him and hit him in the side. Knocking the air from his lungs and shooting him into a store farther from you and Megumi.

"Itadori!" You yelled, eyes wide as your mind began to focus once again. Whatever that hit you earlier was starting to fade, but there was a light, numb throb in your core.

What hit me?

You stood from your spot at the fountain and ran to Megumi, checking his injuries to make sure he was alright. "I'm fine. I'll send Neu after Yuji to check on him as well."

You nodded and looked over at the curse, seeing it rearing up for another attack, you grabbed Megumi by the collar and pulling him out of the way. Though, you weren't safe. The curse foresaw your next move and reacted quickly, grabbing you by the waist and lifting you into the air.

Before Megumi was lifted off the ground too, you released your hold on his uniform and forced cursed energy throughout your waist and feet. Trying to free yourself before the curse crushed you in its grasp, feeling its grip on you tighten as slime started to ooze from the ends. You gagged at the sickeningly sweet smell it produced, making your head weak and your body following suit.

What's going on!? The curses' energy, it's.. knocking me out?

You let out a small squeak before the room went dark and your vision blurred. The last sound you heard was Megumi yelling, and a large crack sound erupted from where Yuji was. That throbbing feeling you felt in your core earlier continued to get stronger and stronger as your mind went blank and laughter filled your head.

Before you knew it, you were asleep.

"How's it feel napping in my domain, punk?"

Jolting awake, your core continued to throb as your eyes opened. Weak, tired, and sore, you blinked a few times to try and steady yourself for what was to come.

"Wh-Wha..?" You mumble, coughing and sitting up as the room around you starts to focus and level out. "Where.. am I?"

Seeing a pool of water beneath you, an ominous red glow throughout the area, and the sense of something stronger than you lapped into your headspace. Once you snapped to attention, your eyes swerved over to Sukuna at the top of a mountain of bones he called his throne. You gasp, standing quickly, but the numb pulse in your temple made you kneel, groaning and mumbling curses under your breath.

"So, was the nap enjoyable?" The cursed king chuckled from his spot above you, his eyes sparkling with interest at your current mood. He had watched you pathetically get caught by such an inferior being, be forced down after a stronger surge of cursed energy, and how you were forced to faint.

Now, Sukuna didn't like the idea of saving someone that wasn't Fushiguro Megumi, but he made a small exception for you. He quite liked watching you squirm when times got tough, and liked watching you fight when you could.

And that brat practically begged him to not let you die. Stupid.

"I saw that you and the others were having a bit of trouble," Sukuna teased, pressing his cheek against his fist, smiling wickedly as your eyes flared up at him. "Awe, too soon?"

"Shut up," You mumbled, managing to stand on your feet. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh I do, in fact. I watched from inside this brat. You got hit by something, too, didn't you?"

At the mere mention of it, your core began to throb even more. Making your legs buckle, your breath becoming heavy and lean forward. Holding onto your knees for support, you held your stomach, as if the weird sensations would just stop the touch. Sukuna let out a cackle, shifting from his spot on the throne to in front of you, looking down at you like the pathetic, and tired sorcerer you were.

Seriously, what have the clans come to to make such a weak girl work her ass off?

"Come, I could help you," He said, coolly, reaching his hand forward and placing it atop your head. Petting you gently with a smile etched on his features once again. "Y'know what it's causing, right? Or are you stupid too?"

You wanted to punch him, to beat him and let your frustration out, but your insides burned with want. What caused it? That weird smelling curse?

"L-Let me go back," You tried, looking up at the cursed king with a frown on your face. "I need to help Itadori and Fushiguro!"

Sukuna's tongue clicked, his hand leaving its place on your head as his fingers traced your jawline. "Don't you get it? They're probably fine, knowing what that Itadori kid can do without me."

Your brows twitched, making your grunt at the curse's touch. What was his deal? He didn't like you, Megumi, or Yuji. Why help you?

The air in Sukuna's domain made almost no difference for you, it was like your lungs just couldn't function correctly. Did your body get crushed, is that it?

But this throbbing inside you wasn't pain, it was something else..

"Connect the dots already, darling," Sukuna chuckled, his movements quick as he grasped your throat in his hand. Squeezing until you squeaked and grabbed at his wrist, lifting you up til your toes could barely touch the ground.

"You feel that burning in your stomach, right? That throb in your core? It's the effects of a love's curse, something twisted and unrequited."

Sukuna let out a chuckle, pulling you closer while you struggled, glaring at him. "Much like your love for this boy, right?"

A burn in your cheeks formed, your cheeks tinting a light pink, but you tried to deny it. Shaking your head without much success, making the cursed king bellow out a monstrous laugh. Your heart felt like it had dropped, seeing Sukuna's eyes flare with a new passion inside them, trailing over your squirming body until they landed on your crotch.

"It's easy to fix, darling," Sukuna smirked, his eyes flickering back up to connect with yours. "Just be good, and I'll make you feel so much better."

In a flash, Sukuna was sitting on his throne once again with you on top of him. Straddling his lap like you owned it, his hand that was grasping your throat loosened its grip as the other traced a line up your thigh and rested on your hip. The smile on Sukuna's face told you he was pleased to have you seated there, feeling your body growing warmer and warmer.

Watching you struggle as the curse's effect continued to take hold of you, meanwhile your body was laying down in the mall. Your friends desperately tried to protect it as the curse continued to destroy and dismantle the mall.

"Why's she asleep, Fushiguro?!" Yuji questioned, dodging one of the curse's attacks and picking up your limp body from its place near the curse. "What's wrong with her?!"

"Yuji, you need to focus!" Megumi yelled back, sending Neu after the curse's face, the large bird sending shocks of electricity through the curse and clawing at it. "If we don't get out of here soon, the whole building will collapse on us!"

The rumbling inside the building and the cracks on the wall signifying Megumi's hunch was correct. But you didn't hear or see any of this, you didn't hear the worry in Yuji's tone or the seriousness of Megumi's orders. Not even the curse's screeches or Megumi's shikigami barking and growls.

All you could see or feel was Sukuna, his hands currently tracing up and down your heated body. Touching wherever he wished and wanted to. He watched as your body began to grow weak from the cursed energy, managing to get you leaning all your weight onto him and panting heavily.

"Doesn't this make it better?" He asked, teasing as his fingers slipped under your uniform jacket and shirt, feeling your hot skin under his cool fingers. "Hm? All I can hear is your breathing, Y/n. Answer me."

"..Y-Yes," You managed, your legs trembling under Sukuna's hands. Your body was so weak and sore, your body too was continuing to throb and your core's pulsing had gotten worse.

Anything was helping you relieve it, even if it was the King of Curses himself. This made the spirit smile, delving deeper into your clothing, undoing your jacket and even daring to press a few soft kisses on your temple and jaw. Suckling and creating love marks in places he could reach, lifting your shirt too and feeling out the lace of your bra.

"I can feel your pussy heating up through your clothes," Sukuna teased, watching you squirm and close your eyes as another wave of blush covered your cheeks. "I'm gonna play with it, alright? I'd rather go straight for it, but healing your body would be rather tedious, wouldn't it?"

You flinch as Sukuna's hand trail back down your stomach and to your heat, slipping his hand into your pants and rubbing little circles around the throbbing nub. Whimpering, Sukuna continued to rub and rub, feeling your pussy begin to drench and soak your panties. He pushed them to the side, hearing your little gasp as he traced the outline of your pussy. A smirk playing his lips as he pushed at the entrance of your tight hole with a finger, kissing your neck until your hips started to buck into his palm.

"Hm? Want me to push it inside?" He asked, knowing how he was making your body react. Feeling your cunt pulse against him while you continued to grind your clit into his hand.

"P-Please," You mumbled, quiet, but loud enough for him to hear. "It hurts.. Make it stop."

"Well, since you asked so nicely for me."

Pushing his finger in, Sukuna let out a groan. Feeling your walls pulsing around his digit as he slowly moved it in and out. Continuing to grind his palm into your clit, chuckling to himself as you started to mewl for more.

"Shh, darling," Sukuna pressed his lips to yours, trying to silence you but eat up your moans at the same time. "I have to be gentle, so relax and tak emy fingers."

He enjoyed watching you squirm in his lap, thrusting your hips against him. You were practically drooling down there, coating his wrist and fingers in your slick, dripping from his hand to his pants. Staining them as a small patch started to darken the fabric with your juices, a snicker coming from Sukuna.

"Look at that," He teased, sucking on your neck and leaving a bite, making you moan as he continued to invade your insides with his fingers. "Your pussy's clenching on my fingers, darling. Does it feel that good that you can't let them go?"

Your whines and mewls were response enough, squeezing him down to his knuckles, drooling all over them and coating his pants more. With a huff, Sukuna reached down and palmed himself through the clothing, squeezing and rubbing until he was firm and practically stretching the fabric. Reluctantly, you released Sukuna's fingers only to feel his tip tapping against your clit.

"I don't usually warn a person when I'm going to enter," Sukuna commented, making you blush as he continued to rub his aching tip against your pulsing opening. "That makes you special."

In an instant, Sukuna was plunging you down. Bouncing you in his lap as he forced you to take his cock, your pussy creaming and making a ring around his base. Your wanton moans make Sukuna's dick twitch and throb, wanting to go farther inside you and knock you up. Maybe he should make you carry his heirs?

"Keep fucking yourself on me," Sukuan ordered, yanking off your shirt and bra. The sounds of your clothes being torn to pieces makes you shudder, your nipples becoming erect at the direct contact of the cool air.

Instantly, Sukuna attached his lips to your nipple. Rolling his tongue and pinching it between his teeth, while his hand placed itself on your hip and created a mouth. Biting and suckling on your skin as you continued to rock in his lap. You felt more than normal pleasure or euphoria, it was something that your belly wanted. It wanted to release over and over, to feel orgasm after orgasm from Sukuna's cock. It was something that you never dreamt of in your wildest or lewdest of dreams.

"S-Sukuna!" You whimpered, squeezing the thickness of his shaft, dripping around it while you continued to cry over it. It left a burning sensation whenever it knocked against your G-spot. "It's too much, slow down!"

Sukuna laughed at this, thrusting his hips up to match your rhythm, grunting and panting underneath you as he taunted you.

"Ah, now you ask me to slow down? Please, darling, I know you can take more than a few thrusts! Now be a good little sorcerer and take my cum deep inside that tight hole!"

After a few more thrusts and groans from Sukuna, his hips stopped as his load was released. Pumping it inside you a few times as your orgasm hit you too, squeezing and holding onto Sukuna like your life depended on it.

"Don't crumble too soon, Y/n," Sukuna muttered into your ear, holding onto your back while he calmed his breathing. "I've got so much more in store for this cute pussy."

You whimpered in response, still feeling the afterglow of your orgasm. Eyes closed but shooting open once you felt water against your knees and hands. You looked around for a moment until you heard Sukuna letting out a breath.

"Mm, seeing your ass like this is truly debaucherous," He smirked, grabbing your hips and grinding his cock between your bare asscheeks. "Gods, I would've killed for a pussy this amazing years ago."

Before you could respond, or even take in how Sukuna got you down from his throne, he was pushing his dick back inside you. Grabbing ahold of your hips and pounding into you like he wanted more than just your hole. And boy did he.

He wanted to carve up your oozing insides and make them remember his shape and size. The weight of his cock, the feeling of his cum shooting ropes inside of you. He could fix anything that he had broken later, despite how annoying that'd be, but for now he wanted to make you go home wanting more of it. Sukuna wanted you to lay awake at night wondering how good his cock would feel in other places.

With that last thought, Sukuna's eyes looked down at your ass again. Watching it bounce against his pelvic bone in a harsh rhythm, feeling the plush softness it had even as it slapped against him.

"Fuck, you feel so warm down here," Sukuna cooed, lifting a hand to slap you. Watching the red mark on your asscheek form and hearing your yelps and moans, spreading your ass on his cock and groaning quietly.

"Look at that, even your asshole is twitching for attention!"

He traced his thumbpad over the quivering little entrance, feeling your pussy constrict around him until it was almost painful. Though he didn't mind. Squeeze as much as you want, hell, rip his cock off so he can grow a newer and bigger one.

He didn't care, nor did he mind. He wanted more and more of this sinful pleasure, to pleasure you until you broke from it.

"Scream on my dick, Y/n!" Sukuna cackled again, pushing his thumb into your ass and watching you arch your back and cry out. "Go on! Who's making you feel like this? Who's making you sob over some cock?"

"Y-You are!" You moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you began to drool. It was too good inside you, Sukuna was making your body feel too much at once!

Sukuna let out a groan as he continued to abuse your asshole and pussy at the same time, reach a hand around you and cupping your clit in his hand. Forming another mouth and starting to suck on it, swirling his tongue around and around it as your cunt started choking on Sukuna's dick. You tried to hold on to that last thread of sanity you had left from this, to take control over your body and to try and stop the orgasm from coming.

But you just couldn't. There was too much pleasure forcing you to take in that climax and crumble under Sukuna's touch. And he lover every second of it.

He loved watching you break, snap, and everything in between. The desire that bubbled in his belly for more made him cum. Wanting to cum inside you again and again, to cream your little belly and leave it swollen with his sperm. Absolutely nothing could compare to the gluttony and lust that Sukuna was indulging in right now.

Just outside of your consciousness, Yuji and Megumi had managed to defeat the cursed spirit. Although they were happy they did, they still had to find that finger.

"I'm so tired," Yuji complained, trudging behind his classmate with you in tow on his back. "And Y/n still isn't awake.. Do you think she's okay?"

"She probably is," Megumi responded, making his way down the stairs as the cursed energy continued to grow. "This large amount of cursed energy must've knocked her out first, and whatever that cursed monster did to her made it worse. We'll have Shoko check her out, so don't worry about it too much, okay?"

With a sigh, Yuji agreed and continued ascending the staircase. However he was feeling, he just wished he could have protected you better or made sure you were okay before going off to fight that hell spawn.

"I-I can't.. I can't anymore.." You whimpered underneath Sukuna, feeling his hips rutting into you at a quick pace.

He had long lost his kimono and pants, holding you against one of the bones that caged him under a blank and dark sky. Thrusts are sharp and almost painful against your cervix, making your sob more every time he hit you deep inside. It felt almost as if Sukuna's intention to 'help' was no longer in his deck of cards. At this point, he was fucking you for himself, letting the years of sexual pleasure and desire corse through him and into you.

Oh, your poor little belly..

"Aaagh!!" Sukuna finally let out, stopping his sloppy movements enough just to pump another round of pent up lust inside your aching pussy. "Fuckk.. That hit the fucking spot, huh?"

You nod, cheek stained with tears. "F-Felt too good.."

Sukuna smirked at your destroyed body, seeing the multiple marks and bites, and the slaps and nibbles he left. You looked absolutely ruined and Sukuna loved creating such a masterpiece.

After repairing anything he may have wounded, he gave you a pat on your head and kissed your cheek. "Now that you're alright, do you wish to return to your friends?"

You nodded once again, clutching onto your tattered clothing and trying to cover yourself. How lewd you felt, after what you were just through. It all hit you once you were able to breathe again. And your lungs started to fill, your brain began to unfuzz and clicked all the memories into place.

You were definitely better, but with a shit ton of additional memories to boot. "Yes."

Sukuna chuckled, sighing and taking a few steps away from you. Soon the room with him and his domain started to disappear, and the light from the medical wing of Jujutsu Tech started to fill in.

"Hm.." You mumbled, blinking awake once again. "Sukuna?"

You heard a sigh of relief and looked over to see Shoko, Megumi, Yuji, and Gojo-sensei. Your head was aching, and your body felt funny, but after a while you assumed what you went through was a dream. BUt the ache in your belly and the flushed expressions you make around Yuji suggest otherwise.

No matter what you do, or where you are, your body always remembered the day that the King of Curses took you 'round his domain for almost a day trying to 'help' you wake up.

[end]

a/n: this was so fun to write and i loved creating a fun dynamic between y/n, yuji and megumi! they were all so cute and funny, despite being in such a spooky situation! also, i didn't think this was going to end up so long but i hope you liked it! i didn't get the chance to proof read since i wanted it out by today! gonna get Valentino out soon, hope you enjoyed! ^^

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eli0004 · 7 days

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Sea & Sky: An Armin x fem!Reader (Modern AU)

Synopsis: Armin, a shy, introverted Marine Biology major with an anxiety disorder and a bit of a traumatic past meets- and instantly falls in love with- a mysterious, chronically ill, Astrophysics major. Their first impression definitely isn’t romance novel worthy, in fact, Armin would describe the whole thing as disastrous, but even so, she seems to think he hung the moon. Haha, space jokes.

Genre: Fluff, PG- 13 for Drinking, swearing, mental illness, chronic illness, and mentions of fighting, additionally, TW ⚠️ for emetophobia

Part: one

If you were to ask anyone at your Uni what they thought about Armin, they’d say he was quiet. Not in a negative sense, but he was certainly peculiar. Shy, timid Armin who had been top of his class since practically kindergarten. His two best friends, Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman, seemed much more social- flitting from party to party, drinking and laughing, playing games and dancing In living rooms, while Armin typically stood to the side, ever observant of his surroundings.

When approached, he was friendly nonetheless, he might tell you about his academic studies, or a book he’d read recently. He might ask how you’re doing and empathize with your situation. But if you approach him expecting to pick his brain, get close, or be let in on a secret, you’d quickly find his lips are sealed.

This mix between approachable and yet, closed off, left him surrounded by acquaintances while his inner circle remained quaint. And though the three of them were an unlikely trio, they cared for each other like family.

Anyone who had gone to grade school with them knew that Armin had been picked on for many years. He’d faced physical violence, humiliation, and much more. They’d also know that the price one paid for being a part of that often resulted in being beaten down to a pulp in the school parking lot by Eren, Mikasa, or- if the crime warranted it, both.

He was never too popular with the ladies, as most were put off by his shyness, or became disinterested once they realized he was uninterested in meaningless sex or situationships. For the most part, he was uninterested in relationships at all, preferring to focus on his academics with confidence that when it’s right, he’d find himself gravitating towards his person, pulling each other in seamlessly like the moon pulls the tides.

And when Armin saw you, the only word that came to his mind was gravitational. Your smile, your laugh, your energy. His logical brain waged war with his heart, and suddenly, love at first sight didn’t seem like such a juvenile concept. His gaze was fixed on you, curious, longing and all but entranced, and that could be seen by anyone standing close enough to him. Mikasa was the first to notice.

She’d known Armin since the three of them were children, having been introduced to each other by Eren himself. Naturally, she knew the moment she turned to follow his gaze, and a small, knowing smile ghosted her lips. And though she promised herself she’d remain uninvolved, she found herself standing next to the blonde as his eyes danced around the room to catch another glimpse of you, as if to burn every detail of your face into his mind, like he couldn’t bare to forget it.

“You should talk to her.” Mikasa spoke, leaning over to him to speak discreetly. Armin’s throat felt dry at even the mention of carrying out such a nerve wracking, bold move.

“Are you crazy? Are we looking at the same person right now?” He deadpanned, swallowing thickly. “I’m…not her type.” His eyes lowered, training themselves down as he picked at a loose thread on his jeans. Perhaps it was his own self loathing that pushed people away. Armin had never really felt good enough; even in his own circle.

“How do you know what her type is?” Mikasa rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance.

“Do you?” He quipped, lifting his head and raising a brow at her.

“Of course I do. I know her. In fact…I invited her.” She smirked. Armin’s face immediately grew red, and he brought his hands up to cover it dramatically. Of course she’d wait until then to say something.

“I…please say you’re joking!! Why didn’t you say anything, I’m embarrassed?!” He sputtered, heart racing.

“Because, I knew you’d try and pretend you haven't been staring her down for the last two hours, like it isn’t painfully obvious.”

And she was right. If Armin had known Mikasa had connections with you, he’d have denied denied denied. But she knew better, she’d come to find that he was quite predictable, always held back by his own fear of inadequacy.

“No! Is it really that obvious!?” He groaned, muffled by the sleeves of his gray blue sweater. His cheeks and ears felt hot, and he knew it was most likely visible. When Armin blushed, it started from the tip of his perfect button nose and went all the way down to his neck.

“Yeah it is, and I'm sure she’s noticed it too. Which is why you should go over there and talk to her…y’know, so she doesn’t think you’re being a weirdo.” She takes a sip of her drink, winking at him.

“Absolutely not.”

“Absolutely. I’ll come with you, let’s go.”

Mikasa took Armin by the hand, pulling him as he attempted- and failed- to dig his heels into the carpet, heart pounding. He knew she had to be at least a little tipsy by now; sober Mikasa would never force him out of his comfort zone like this, and although it could be a bit enabling at times, he missed sober Mikasa right about now. His head was swimming and he could practically hear his pulse thumping in his ears. She meant well, Armin knew that, but this- this was not the way to help.

And suddenly, he found himself standing feet away from you, watching in horror as Mikasa reached out to get your attention. Pull yourself together, he’d begged himself. He could smell your perfume, your hair looked so much softer, shinier up close. He wasn’t ready, he hadn’t thought of anything to say. His legs felt like jello and his stomach was absolutely churning. You turned around and he felt his heart leap from his chest as your eyes fell first on Mikasa as she spoke words he didn’t care to hear, and then, on him.

“Anyway, this is Armin! He’s one of my best friends, we go way back. I think you guys would get along pretty well.” Mikasa smiled cheerfully, her eyes sparkling and sleepy from the alcohol. You smiled at him, and Armin thought he might fall over and die. You were radiant, and warm.

“Hey Armin, nice to finally meet you. I saw you looking this way earlier, I wondered if you’d come say hi!” You greeted him “I don’t think I’ve seen you around, but I do most of my classes at night, or online, so that’s pretty expected.”

There was a moment of silence as he gaped at you, blue eyes wide and captivated, before he realized it was his turn to speak.

“O-oh! Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too, uhm…sorry for staring.” He looks away, scratching at the back of his neck. The room felt a bit quieter, somehow. You giggle softly, pursing your lips before speaking,

“It’s ok, I just thought I might have been doing something stupid.” And at that he smiled slightly, feeling a bit giddy.

“Yeah…I mean no, no you weren’t. I was.” He stammers. Your expression turned confused, but your smile stayed

“You were? What does that mean?”

Armin realized he didn’t know. He had no idea what he meant by that and now you think he’s a creep. He knew he’d say something stupid, why did he let Mikasa drag him over like that? He wished at that moment that the earth would swallow him whole, and he bit his lip softly, eyes darting back and forth as he racked his brain for an explanation. He felt dizzy, he needed to leave.

Just before he could politely excuse himself and run off to hide from the awkward interaction, the sound of glass shattering and loud yelling pierced through the room from mere feet away. Before he could register what was going on, you grabbed ahold of his wrist and yanked him out of the way, just as Jean Kristein was shoved, aggressively against the wall by none other than Eren Yeager himself. The two shouted at each other in drunken fury, and Eren took a swing, clocking Jean in the Jaw as people began flooding forward to pull them apart. The room was loud. Everything felt hot and muggy. Armin couldn’t breathe.

“Eren, what the fuck!” Mikasa yelled! “What are you doing?!”

“This fucker’s talking shit, and i’m tired of fucking hearing it! Say it to my face like a man, so I can beat your ass like a man!” He growled, landing another punch, and the back of Jean's head smacked the wall. Armin flinched, inching closer to you slightly. Two people attempted to restrain Eren’s arms, and lowering his head, Jean spat in his direction. His nostrils flared, eyes glaring.

“I’ll fucking rip your throat out you little-“

Suddenly Eren had torn away, ripping his arms out of the hands of his peers and lunging at him. The crowd's commotion nearly knocked Armin to the ground as the fighting continued. You turned to look at him, meeting his panicked eyes.

“Ok, ok, come on, let’s go.” You instructed him, extending your hand to him and slipping away from everyone once he’d taken it. Exiting out the back door, you pulled him with you and slammed it shut.

The cold night air whipped at your hair, nipping at the skin of your face as you quickly exited out the back door together. It was quieter out there, the sounds of fighting grew distant and, not your problem. Armin was visibly distressed, naturally leaning into you and breathing rapid, shallow breaths, eyes squeezed tightly shut. Reaching out to him, you rubbed his back slightly.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” You soothed, but his stomach felt sick. He was shaken up, embarrassed, anxious and scared. He was nauseous.

“Don’t look at me, I’m gonna be sick.” He pleaded, dodging your touch and scurrying away. You withdrew your hands willingly, albeit confused, but he leaned over the back porches railing and heaved, slapping his hand over his mouth. Understanding, you turned and faced away, covering your ears as he gripped the rail and emptied the contents of his stomach, humiliated.

With shaky hands, he lingered for a moment, making doubly sure it was over before he stepped back and plopped down on the wicker swing . He buried his face in his hands. Seeing movement out of the corner of your eyes, you turn to him. He looked small, vulnerable and absolutely distraught.

You felt sympathetic, seeing him so visibly dejected. You’d seen how he looked at you, and you knew he must have felt embarrassed. A moment of silence passed, cicadas chirping, he let out a soft, shaky sigh. You hesitated for a moment, but, heels clicking against the deck and arm extended, you approached him, holding out your cup.

“Here, drink this.”

Armin peers up at you through his fingers, then dropped his hands and shook his head.

“No, i don’t think it’s a good idea to-“

“It’s just water.” You interrupt. “I don’t drink.”

How peculiar, Armin thought to himself, to meet another twenty-something year old at a party, who doesn’t drink.

Reluctantly, he accepted the cup, softly inhaling its scentlessness. So it was only water. He took a gulp, washing away the taste of stomach acid on his tongue, as you dug around in your clutch for a piece of gum and some gravol.

“Here, this too. It’s just an over the counter nausea remedy, it’ll help settle your stomach.”

Armin nodded, accepting it with shaky hands.

“Thank you.” He trailed off, quietly gazing downward before speaking once again. “I-i’m so sorry…for…that.” He quickly gesture towards the porch railing. You scoff, crossing your arms.

“What? Are you kidding, it happens, Armin, you don’t have to apologize.”

He said nothing, pulling his legs to his chest and resting his chin on his knee. The silence was thick, and you stared out at the moonlit tree line, leaning back against the wall where you stood.

The night had been disastrous. When he’d agreed to come out with Eren and Mikasa earlier that evening, Armin hadn’t even considered such an unfortunate chain of events. He mentally kicked himself, wishing he’d just said no. And furthermore, If Mikasa hadn’t forced him to talk to you, he’d have never humiliated himself in front of you like he had. If Eren hadn’t gotten shitfaced and tried to kill Jean, he definitely wouldn’t have humiliated himself like he had, emptying his stomach in front of you, drinking your water, chewing your gum.

But, how sweet of you, giving up your things for a goofy idiot like him, the thought of it gave him butterflies.

He tilted his head towards you slowly, glancing in your direction, that feeling of magnetic attraction consuming him once again. A crisp breeze rustled the trees quietly and tousled a few blonde wisps of his hair, and his eyes curiously examined your face. The curve of your jaw, the plumpness of your lower lip, the way you blinked softly as your eyes focused in on the view. So entranced, he was, that he never even noticed how you’d turned your head to meet his gaze.

“Armin?”

“Hm~”

“You’re staring.”

Nothing had ever made him snap back to reality so quickly in his life. He groaned softly, shoulders slumping forward. There was no use in trying to deny it.

“m’ sorry” he whispered quietly. You shook your head, softly clicking your tongue at him.

“Don’t apologize, I think it’s nice.”

Armin glanced at you as if he were looking for confirmation that you’d meant that, but he quickly looked back to the ground. He was silent for a moment, before he cleared his throat and spoke,

“I’m not usually that much of a coward. I mean, I'm a coward, but…”

“You’re not a coward.” You interrupted, pushing yourself off the wall and sliding into place next to him on the other end of the porch swing. You slipped out of your shoes and crossed your legs, holding the decorative pillow that rested there before you, in your lap against your chest. “I could tell you were feeling anxious way before Eren threw Jean across the room. I get it.”

“Well…yeah, I guess you’re right. But I was also just really nervous.” He sighed, voice shaky. His eyes met yours for a moment and you smiled knowingly, a soft giggle passing your lips.

“You don’t have to be nervous, Armin, I don’t bite.”

He smiled, resting his chin against his knee once again. Though the sky was dark and chilly, the porch lighting cast a warm glow over him, his skin looked soft, his blonde hair turned golden like honey. The redness had never left his cheeks.

“Good to know.” He giggled, slapping a mosquito off his arm. “…uh, by the way, you said earlier you’re a student? What’s your major?”

You laughed out loud before you could think to stop yourself, and somewhat nervously too,

“Ah..Astrophysics” you said, with a bashful smile. “dorky, i know.”

“Wow! No that’s..actually really cool, you must be really smart! Jeez, now I feel like I’m standing in your shadow.” He laughed. His laugh was cute, airy and soft. You wondered if he even realized how much more comfortable he seemed, now that the commotion had died down.

“What? Aren’t you studying Marine Biology? That’s definitely just as impressive!” You raised a brow at him, scoffing in disbelief. Armin gaped at you.

“I never told you that…how did you know?” he asked. How did you know?

“I’m pretty sure I remember Mikasa telling me she had a smart friend who studied ocean science, but…i kinda just guessed. You look like the type.”

Armin snorted, smiling to himself.

“Thanks?”

“I mean it kindly! You remind me of the ocean, what with those blue eyes and all.”

As if he couldn’t possibly fall harder for you, then you go and say something like that. Armin felt his cheeks burn and he smiled brightly, giggling at your words. What a compliment, he’d never felt so flattered.

“Thank you!” He chirped.

“No problem…hey, do you know anything cool about sharks?” You ask, glancing at your nails. Armin giggled, thinking for a moment.

“Sharks? Uh…ok…well, sharks have this unique kind of skin that makes them smooth when you stroke them one way, but rough and abrasive when you go across their skin in the other direction. There's even a word for it in the science world, countershading, where an animal changes color depending on how the sun's rays hit their bodies. So, if a shark was approaching you head-on, it would be very hard for you to see it because it blends in with the water, but if the water was behind it, you could tell much easier.”

“Aw, sharks are such cute lil guys.”

“Cute until they sneak up on you in camouflage.” He laughs. “Now you tell me something about space.”

“Uhh…i don’t know, uhm…There could easily be as many as 10 billion Earth-like planets in the Milky Way alone. Life on other planets is a lot more likely than people realize…it’s kind of silly to think that we’re the only ones.”

“So you believe in aliens?” He asked, tilting his head toward you, fully invested.

“Did you hear anything I said?” You laughed, rolling your eyes at him playfully. He giggled along with you, happily, eyes twinkling. You sighed, leaning back against the swing.

“Look at us, hm? Isn’t it poetic?” You spoke softly, letting your eyes flutter closed. “Sea and sky.”

Armin looked at you then, his heart skipped a beat at your words and his palms felt a bit sweaty as he wiped them off on his jeans. The way you spoke to him, those honeyed words, with such nonchalant expression. Like it came naturally to you to be so flirty. Or perhaps you just…really liked him. But Armin was never one to read into things.

“Yeah…i guess it is, huh?” He sighed.

“Oh, there you are, i was looking everywhere for you. Sasha and I have to take Eren home, he won’t stop trying to pick fights, Armin, did you still need a ride?” Mikasa spoke, swinging the door open and breaking the comfortable silence. She looked up from her phone and your eyes met her smokey, heavily lined ones, before she glanced back to Armin. “Oh” she said, smirking at the boy “Am I interrupting something?”

“Ah-no, it’s fine…we were just talking.” He quickly stands, brushing himself off and turning back to look at you. “I’m sorry, I have to go but-“

“Here.” You stand, handing him your phone. “Put your number in, I’ll text you tonight.”

And you did. You’d texted him as soon as you walked into your apartment, slipping off your shoes and climbing into bed. You hadn’t pushed yourself too hard, but the aches in your joints and the tension in your muscles was ever present. You’d taken a painkiller or two, placed your phone on your pillow next to you, curling up in the sheets, your cat settling in next to you, and you fell asleep.

Armin had anxiously awaited your message, typing and sending a response almost instantly. He worried when you hadn’t responded, but he took a few deep breaths, and then took a few more. Your message came late in the following morning, apologizing for the delay and telling him you’d had a lovely time talking to him.

“When can i see you again?” You’d asked.

#attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #aot headcanons #aot smut #aot x y/n #attack on titan armin #armin arlert smut #armin arlert headcanons #armin headcanons #armin arlert x reader #sub armin #armin x reader #armin aot #armin arlert #subby armin #armin attack on titan #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert fluff

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lollytea · 4 months

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Can I ask for that worst headcanon of yours, or are ours not bad enough?

Agsvdjnk I forgot about this. Yes actually they were NOT bad enough. Some people sent asks with their hunlow headcanons and they were super adorable and I was like "yall have FAILED the assignment!!!!"

(I loved them actually and will answer them later)

Anyway I'll say it anyway.

I think that when Hunter has reached a point in his recovery journey where he's a lot more confident in himself, he develops this organic harmony between his current self and a dash of his cocky GG persona and it becomes this amalgamation of a personality that is....slightly fuckboi-adjacant.

I'm not saying he becomes a fuckboi, that would be outright character mutilation. He does not align with any of the fuckboi beliefs or moral stances. And also he has no idea that this is a genre of human man that exists. This is just his own concept of risqué flirting that he thinks he has invented. And the worst part of it all is that Willow eats it up.

For example, Willow will gush about how Hunter will reply to her texts where she has tells him about her afternoon weight lifting session with the phrase "without me? [Lip bite emoji]" and Luz will have the primal urge to go walk into the ocean.

Once he gains a bit more weight, he reaches a level of body confidence where Willow receives bathroom mirror selfies of him with his shirt hitched up and his tongue poking out. Can't make this shit up.

She loves it. She swoons. She goes fucking bananas. I think the funniest thing about Hunter and Willow's relationship to me is that Willow does not have the awareness that Hunter is, what many may consider, a little cringe. She's not like "yes he's a dork but he's my dork <333" She is fully convinced that she had bagged an Adonis and everybody wants him. Not a doubt in her mind about it.

So when she shows Luz the "hot pics" her bf sent her, it's a moment of her indulging in a little bit of immature bragging where she flaunts what a perfect man she scored.

Meanwhile Luz has a visceral reaction to Hunter's mirror selfie pics in the most negative way possible. He looks like dudes from her highschool that she has had actual arguments with. She loves Hunter with her whole bleeding heart but in that moment, she wants to tear him limb from limb.

And she can't even say it because Willow is so adorably giddy about it and she also loves Willow to death and wants to support whatever in this wretched world makes her happy. And that is apparently this fucking guy.

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antirepurp · 8 months

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actually i feel like frontiers has The Horrors in it in a way no other sonic game really has before it. maybe sa2 and shth come close to it but the vibe in both is very drastically different.

im talking about an ancient civilization that got wiped out by a force so powerful it's difficult to grasp. we get to witness the little that remains and assume that must be it, that all there is anymore are stones piled into towers and architecture ravaged by nature, before discovering it's all still here. and alive. and growing and leaking out of its containment to show everyone The Horrors they lived through. and it's not presented through different POVs like in sa1, and they don't hold back on any of it. four children get to witness the destruction of the people who came here before them right in front of their eyes, with the souls they spend time bonding with and treating like their equals.

and im talking about the destruction of the body and the way everyone but sonic is ripped out of their physical existences and into cyberspace where the relentless corruption of faulty code can begin to consume them alive. they lose their abilities to interact with the world in the ways they were used to and effectively become ghosts, echoes of themselves, and the only way to bring them back requires one kid to destroy his own body in exchange. and he has to slowly experience The Horrors of burning his own self alive, because what else is he supposed to do? he's supposed to be the hero and do the right thing, and this is the only thing he knows to do. and he will throw himself against enemies rivaling the power of the gods he's fought before, and he will take as many hits as it takes, and he will face his own mortality and fragility over and over again while his own self is dying

and even more so im talking about the very concept of death that haunts the islands and that sonic has to fight in the end, because he will not accept the end of the world. because he is not the kind of hero he wants to be, the personification of morals and accepting that things are going to end one day, when it's about whether his friends get to experience another tomorrow or not. whichever ending you play he will face off against a calculating force that has decided that this world needs to be destroyed, that it's about time it did. and sonic fights back because for fucking once he doesn't want to let go. he has let go so many times before, when he first visited ARK and in a timeline that no longer exists and after defeating the very concept of darkness and negativity. and should you go for the original ending, he let go of his friends, here and now. he has been through The Horrors and he's had enough and will not let himself be consumed by them, because he will make sure there is another sunrise and another tomorrow and that his brother and childhood friend and rival can all go and live the lives they want to have, and have been dreaming of this whole time

i know it's a pegi 7 baby game with poor execution and rushed things in many places. but i love the subtle terror under the hood i am obsessed with it

#sonic frontiers #soda offers you a can #i know unleashed deals with at least similar concepts. but it also feels like a generally more lighthearted game #frontiers takes itself much more seriously and i think it helps in delivering this kind of feeling of. horrors.#unleashed has a funny fairy chihuahua and a pickle professor. frontiers has. a goofy fishing minigame ok yeah #but you catch my drift no?

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chiyoso · 6 months

Text

UNDENIED SATISFACTION

g. impact — neuvillette fluff oneshot.

▶SYPNOSIS. after the melusine threats came to a satisfactory conclusion, the iudex became overwhelmed with positive feelings, having you being a reason for one.

▶CONTENT. takes place after neuvillette's story quest, spoiler free, female reader, fluff, no usage of y/n, maybe suggestive, neuvillette crushing on you making him have an existential crisis, reader is a goddamn teasing bastard

“melusines, are such beautiful creatures.”

“...miss kiara, was it?” you call out to the pink melusine, low with admiration.

“that- that's right! you know, you were absolutely close to quoting the iudex just now!” though shy and hesitant, she'd accept your invitation, giving you trust by placing her paw upon your palm.

the iudex huh? “is that right?” the pink melusine's spirits went and above, just inching closer to your welcoming nature, familiar, inviting and familial.

“then, he would already, no doubt be most fond of lovely beings such as you.”

“that would be correct,” deep. you thought upon hearing the voice that answered for the melusine.

you turn towards your shoulder, looking past to see what you had expected to have bland, dark and judge-like qualities, but he was more beautiful than what your mind had conjured.

so dignified, reserved, an elegance you don't see often in high-octane courts, or rather—for where you were hailed from. “ah, and you must be...”

“the subject of your discussion,” he'd answer as you were standing up, turning completely to his direction, letting go of the melusine's paw.

“the chief justice, the court judge of fontai...” his voice trails off, noticing himself about to ramble about while taking in your soft expression.

“forgive me, though given many titles by the people of this land, it would be most natural if you were to addressed me by the name i am known widely for,” so well spoken too.

you closed your eyes briefly, processing the sound that accompanied his words. it was nothing but pleasing to the ears, the same could go for his aesthetics, pleasant, too pleasant for the eyes to witness.

“it's my first,” you take his attention, stealing his glance from the melusine. “to see the iudex personally, and up close to be precise,” the iudex cannot make do with that vague statement, and it was a great pet peeve of his, not able to discern things if vague comments such as this were passed to him with a negative, or positive light.

“ah, so you already know of m—”

you bend a knee slightly, placing a hand towards the center of your chest, lowering your head, with a smile, and with only that, you would capture multiple attention, the hearts and minds of those around the fountaine of lucine.

and if he was able to, let him be apart of the said crowd. stirred with confusion, a steady beat that began to form a rhythm in his chest.

an outsider, both you and him. one was masked, hiding a primordial identity, and the other was presumably new to this land, foreign to dramatic concepts, views and hightened agriculture.

it was a long, long existence. a witness to countless of things, receive endless of things, but never, not once receive this form of respect, this, this very gesture of absolute high regard.

he was no archon, but you would deviate your self preservation to treat him as such?

“please, stand tall,” it was unlike him. you heard a dust of anxiousness, panic, and if this was disarm tactic, to let his guard down, it would be most very effective had it been a different situation.

“there is... absolutely no need of heavy formalities, be most assured, i'm not one to be receiving such a form of praise. the hydro archon, she, herself would be very pleased t—”

“the hydro archon...” you interrupt, now tilting your head up. your gaze, mirroring those that you see in fontaine's citizens, an unfiltered, open reverence only he can witness from afar.

seen only towards focalors.

“the begs a needed question then,” you sigh, eyes narrowed with a subtle disbelief.

“what makes you any lesser or any different than these archons, monsieur neuvillette?” you lower your head again, towards the pavement.

“you judge atrocities, bring out injustice in the form of words, a justice that only resorts to extreme measures if requirements are met—”

“—and unlike a few factions, nations, you continue to progress and maintain order, ordainding the pre-ordained,”

“your order brings out justice in the form of performances, inciting no wars, a form of execution, not by blade—but with immovable conviction,”

“relaying each syllable, sentence, coherent with a pre-determined decision through every, life changing verdict,” you stand up this time, now slowly returning your gaze back up to his, gleaming and determined.

two words of which he will use for the eyes that peer onto his, appraising him, his occupation, his actions that he has continuously, like a ritual, doubted throughout the ages of his longevity.

what is the iudex able to do at the current?

you shower him with words that are hidden as praise, compliments concealed in truths, speaking in familiar terms that reminded him of how a certain individual in the fortress of meropide came to berate—or rather eased his history with.

but to those who are well versed in discerning, to deconstruct letters that form sentences of positive and negative, your truths seemed as if you were declaring, profressing, relaying each act of truth with a voice, identified with nothing but affection.

to who were listening in silence, anyways.

but you would be most in luck, the iudex, being one of many intelligences, his knowledge in emotions, mental subjects, he wouldn't confess that his intellect on matters such as this one, would be on par to his refined, pre-historical wisdom.

and all the great iudex could do was process, process and process, think, think and think, thinking about your words accompanied with a certain tone he hasn't heard from, and processing the feelings of what lies within his mortal body.

“and so i ask again, what makes a difference wi—”

“—the difference... the difference would be,” he tries to interrupt the moment your mouth opens to speak again.

“the answer to your... question,” he hesitates, taking a brief glance towards the sky.

it was thundering.

just like something else underneath his chest.

neuvillette closes his eyes, taking a deep breath, then shortly returning his gaze towards yours, yours that were provoking, just daring him to try to refute your truthful statements.

honest, beautiful statements, the beautiful part he wanted to deny, deny and deny. “i am the chief justice of fontaine, i uphold law, i bring out what is necessary to the land of justice, to lay out the hydro archon's wishes, furina's ideals, it is only—”

“—your duty.” he would straighten himself, a slight disorientation to his pupils from you finishing his sentence. he will never, ever understand how humans are able to anticipate his words, and he will only hope that one day, he will be able to.

“oh, what things have you witness and heard from those that stir around you,” you say softly, with pity, moving towards the silent, little melusine once again, kneeling down as you lay your affections towards the creature, gently taking her paw, having her react positively, child-like.

“what things have you received, to the point where you deny you such deserving words,” the melusine perks up, her eyes glittering, excited towards you. “right!? monsieur neuvillette is so very highly regarded to us melusines!! it is truly absurb for him to not acknowledge our praise!!”

“shh, the iudex stands tall beside us, miss kiara.”

“oh,” you giggle to her sheepish demeanor, cooing her to reassurance, tending, motherly.

neuvillette, silent, glances down to the sight of mortal, and creature. you interacting with the little melusine, addressing her as equal, appreciating the creature's existence with little actions of affections, be it holding both of her hands, the way your eyes sparkle with fascination, sincerity.

“no no, i'm sure the chief justice won't put you in trial because of that,” you whisper, continuing to giggle, cupping the little melusine's furred cheeks.

“but- but i called him absurb!”

“hmm, should i also call him as such to accompany with you?” her eyes glisten with hope, the melusine lunging her little self forwards and tackling you in an embrace, muffling her soft wailing against your chest.

what was it. what is it.

what was the feeling inside his chest.

he didn't hate the feeling, but it wasn't exactly welcomed either. it was a feeling, similar to how you give a little infant the act of shock and joy by playing peek-a-boo with them, or having a sumeru citizen be invited and accepted into the akademiya with unbridled relief, and acceptance.

and all would be accompanied by confusion and fear, like stepping into a new continent, filled with unknown and uncertainty.

neuvillette, reserved, judgemental, and unapproachable. to the naked eye, he is obscure as he is enigmatic, and to the ones that have grown familiar with him outside being a court judge, it was his natural state of self, and it was his job to condemn, for he is judgement himself.

so the contradictions lie within him, feeling this way, letting a strange, external emotion he wasn't accustomed with, threaten his security, just gnawing at the depths towards his vulnerability.

after all, how could he?

how could he ignore pleasant feeling anyways?

the melusine takes a little peep past your shoulder, towards the iudex, and her eyes would widen slightly, witnessing the color of her own fur, mixed in with the fair radiance of his skin.

“t-the iudex,” a small, questioning 'hm?' you replied with, pulling back slightly, seeing the melusine have a constrasting reaction towards something.

your attention would follow where her own went, looking over your shoulder to an unexpected sight. your curious eyes settled quickly over his facial features, the expression he was giving the both of you.

a stoic expression, but with lips slightly parted, trembling, wanting to be pursed and closed, and peculiar, his eyes bore the same direction to yours but it was absent, lost in his own mind, disarrayed with current-like thoughts.

“he- he's coming up with a fever!!” the melusine squeals, assuming, latching onto your leg with you already stood up, and you were correct.

his gaze would remain lowered, unmoving, but what was most endearing was that color that suited his delicate features.

a fever? “monsieur... neuvillette?” curious, you bend your torso and knees down slightly, looking up to him, a hand swiftly moving the strands of hair to the back of your ear, just tugging it behind.

then the glint in his eyes return from the movement the met his sights, his irises, swiftly taking in a sudden display of your physiq—your eyes.

“i'm- ah,” he coughs into his fist, letting his hand prolong over a part of his face, keeping his blush at bay, attempting to regain composure.

“my sincerest, most wholehearted apologies, to the both of you for my behavior,” you straighten your back, hearing his reply, a hand moving down towards the back of the melusine's head, just easing her.

“don't be, i have that effect on people,” you said eerily, amused, and you don't think it was a fever causing that pretty blush over him right now.

“h-huh?” the melusine looks up to you, confused, mirroring neuvillette's expression as well.

“pay no mind,” you interrupt, glancing briefly between the two, before focusing the the iudex before you.

“are you alright, monsieur neuvillette?” you tilt your chin up only slightly, eyes squinted to his direction, giving him a smile, just giving it your all for it not to curl upwards and become wider, smug like how you were feeling right now.

you just couldn't just let him process anything.

the hydro dragon sovereign, attempting to adjust to your speech patterns, dealing with the certain tone of voice you carried along with that expression of yours, trying to process each word with that came from your mouth.

it was overwhelming, and it was good kind.

“...i will be,” he have to be. he answers after a few moments of silent observation, having trouble keeping his irises still for you.

“mhm?”

...what do you mean, 'mhm'?

did you want him to say more? did you need a longer response? were you expecting more? what were you thinking? why did you suddenly become so much more prettier than you were previously?

what was it that made your gesture of respect more attractive? what was it that was making him eager to receive more from you praise from you?

it was no different to a bow. it was no different to something that was considered as respectful towards a reverent being, but considering your tone, your body language, your demeanor?

he won't allow himself to meet your gaze again.

he can't—because when his eyes reach yours, disorder thrives, increasing his jumbled thoughts, disturbing whatever he was about to say.

disorder being the very thing that he tries with absolutely hardship to avoid for the people of fontaine, for focalors, and soon he would find himself wanting to be in said order. an inevitable order that he will continue to maintain.

at the least right now—attempt to anyways.

“pretty little melusine,” you turn your head, down towards the pink creature, your hand finding solace in her hair of fluff. “ah, y-yes my lady?”

“i'm more than sure that the great chief justice would pardon your comment once you return to your duties,” you catch the brief contact of his eyes from your peripheral upon mention of him again.

“miss kiara, ever so diligent, dutiful, and so high in spirits, why would the monsieur neuvillette offer you an unjust sentence—” your hands move, raising the pink melusine towards the sky, causing her to yelp, a soft giggling following after suit.

“—when the iudex has nothing but love in his eyes for your kind,” his eyes softened at the sight, having you so bliss and carefree, towards something he has strived to honor and protect for several hundred years.

love, was it?

love. is that what he was feeling?

yes? no? was it love? can you call it love? is it related to it? is he capable of something that only strengthens his complexity? he, being an existence already with labored with mystery.

“i- well, you're right—but!” the pink melusine flails in your grasp, squirming to be put down from the growing embarassment she began to have.

“he is still the chief! the iudex!” that's right.

“it- it is only right if i receive the equal amount of justice, calling him a name unbefitting of someone of high status! it is disrespect! it is—”

unbecoming. incomprehensible. complicated.

“—not an issue, nor it is within the scriptures of law, and written code of conduct,” neuvillette takes a step or two forwards to the both of you, a faint, tempted smile almost visible, just teasing the corners of his lips.

“it... is not a crime to formulate an opinion,”

but so are humans, being unable to completely understand themselves.

just like his circumstances.

“miss kiara, let it be known, that no very corners of this land, will ever restrict you and others from expressing thought, the very thing that binds the mortality together, being an aboriginal foundation of... understanding towards one another,” you see a glimmer in his eyes, his stoicism accompanied with a subtle fondness.

“that would be the very definition of unjust itself, something i, the iudex of fontaine, the usurper of order—will not tolerate and stand watch with irreverence,” the melusine grows silent along with you, placing her down carefully, growing steady in her footing.

“you are wonderful,” you break the brief silence with an adoring sigh, soft and tender, causing a minor shudder to the complimented iudex, as if he was experiencing thought and behavioral patterns similarly like a revelation, a discovery.

wonderful.

wonderful? for doing his measly duties? for giving structure to the deconstructed? for pursuing a system of commandments that are naturally acquainted for, in a world where it is needed?

can someone, anyone really call duty, wonderful?

having what was natural for him, being percevied as something close to beauty, and borrowing the pink melusine's words, he would find it absurb.

it was only his duty, he is undeserving, he is only nothing but—“shining,” you add, catching his attention once more.

shining. “...with all due possible and greatest respect, it is only a duty that allows—”

“—let me, allow myself to make this as... monosyllabic as possible,” you interrupt, now striding to him, the sounds of your footing making each thock while you encircle the iudex slowly.

“i do not foster much care, in whatever trifling, innermost matter you have, brewing from within that... well-cared pretty face of yours,” you sigh, stopping just behind the iudex, allowing him to subtly look over his shoulder towards you.

you say that, but you would be lying to yourself if you didn't care completely, seeing that slight disoriented shift, notable in his brows.

“but most beloved chief justice, take into precise consideration, that denying another's thoughts is... close to averting your gaze, feigning ignorance to someone's testimony of you,”

he turns around. panic, panic and panic. “what—”

“i jest,” you clasp your hands together to the side of your face in an instant, humming in delight.

“hmhm, i exaggerate, monsieur neuvillette,” you take in his turbulent expressions with delight, ranging from panicked, to troubled, to confusion?

was it contempt? was it hassling to him? did he not know what to make do of this behavior you were introducing to him?

“pft- i'm sorry—archons pardon my lack of etiquette,” you stifle your soft chuckling with your knuckle over your lips.

“you are as firm as the pillars that holds over multiple architectures within fontaine, it's—”

“it's...” huh? your hearty laughter dies down, both lids parting wide as you witness the iudex's facial features.

“ah,” the word escapes from you from observation of the iudex, his cheeks once again, imitating the color of the melusine, a color more passionate than before, a half-opened gaze struggling to maintain the mutuality of eye contact, having a gloved hand move, knuckles pressed against most of his lips.

with irony, what surprised you was not the unmistakable presence of the red in his face, nor the rattle in his composure—no, it was the the fact that you began to mirror him immediately.

he looked so, so beautiful. and it was enough to shake your core, bringing two hands to your chest, cradling the quickening thump in the center. “i-...” you tease too much, and it was no surprise it would backfire, eventually.

the pink melusine glances between the two of you with great confusion, a worry quickly plaguing her. “this... this fever is contagious!” she blurts out, just loud enough for the people in the sidelines, stirring as slight commotion.

also just enough to snap the both of you back to reality. “no- no, no no,” you say with urgency, kneeling to the pink melusine.

“miss- miss kiara, i think it'd be best if i give the iudex my regards and take my leave,”

the iudex clears his throat, looking away, avoiding your direction—which only results to letting his flushed cheeks, ears, become more visible to you.

it was so red. such a pretty color.

“i hope,” he returns his gaze to yours again, letting you see that polite, yet lively smile, it being the cherry on top to his expression.

“you enjoy your stay within fontaine, my lady,” his simplicity attracts you again, letting you slowly connect your views together again.

“and i am...—thank you, for such kind, and generous words, i would be untruthful, deceiving if i said i didn't quite enjoy your sincerity for me, letting me sit on your throne of recognition, being held in such high, high esteem to you,”

“...is that your way of saying that you wish to hear more from me, monsieur neuvillette?”

“mh,” the lump in his throat doesn't allow him to utter anything in reply, eyes widening in reaction to that tone of teasing again.

you stand up, facing towards him completely once more, your eyes gleaming in delight.

“i would love nothing more.”

after seeing the word building of his story quest, i just hope i delivered the same vibes/speech patterns neuvillette has in this fic...—also yes i was throwing shade abt inazuma war ehe.

reblogs help my audience reach, thank you. dont look at tags.

ⓘ taglist (open) @v3lv3tf0x @wanderingconstellations @ainescribe @teapartyspilled @hitomisuzuya @deathstarlovecraft @sleep-deprivedracoon @ciarchivez @damslettx @serenitiiy @k1an4a @pixieskie @scara6

#▶PLAY: chiyosohub.com #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact fluff #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin fluff #monsieur neuvillette #genshin neuvillette #neuvillette #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x you #neuvillette fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #i fucking love neuvillette so much i want him to lay his eggs onto me and make me a mother of however many children his wishes me to have #please i just know his cock grows bigger when he decides to enhance into a more dragon-like form but still remaining human ugh fuck #pink rosey tip that meshes into his skin color. just throbbing with veins. the same veins flushed in pink because of the overwhelming lust #i should make a smut about him next im getting horny for him #okay i did warn u to not look at the tags 🧍🏻‍♀️#hnn i just love writing motherly/teasing readers. begs the question as to why im not like this irl (MY FLIRTING POTENTIAL THOUGH)#dammit and my mom asked if she could read any of my stories- and i was gonna send her this one BUT THE SUGGESTIVE THEMES??? HELL NO 👁️👁️🔫#...god i fucking love neuvillette so much this was basically just how i feel about him #did i mention i have his c1 and plan to c6 him in his next rerun (IM KINDA F2P BTW) by kinda i mean i bought only 1 welkin in 2-3 years onl #also i didn't know how to end the story (so someone suggest so i can edit it ≥wÓ🤌)

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