Fuck of a mother, i need a new job.

the unfortunate news was given that my dad's chemo probably isn't working so he "might" have to do 30 day "isolation chemo" (?) which sounds horrible and scary. I want to visit him then if so... I don't want him to be alone for 30 days. I'm terrified he will be abusive to me.

when my mother died, she couldn't hurt me, even though I was terrified to see her. seeing her helpless body waste away from cancer was traumatizing but also released any fear I ever had of her, even though the memory of her abuse will always live in me.

my dad was not abusive like she was but sometimes i think he is worse for ever enabling her to be around me, ever choosing to "raise" a kid with her, comparatively, she had much less choice in her actions than he did.

i dont know what it means or if it will help. i didnt think these chemo rounds would help... i never thought my dad would get better... but hearing the advancing news doesn't help.

especially after watching someone's long term dying lead to hospice and then death and how irreverently it was handled, in this household (my partner's grandmother).

my dad will lose whatever hair he has left and im sure will look unrecognizable in a way.

whatever anger or apathy i have to combat my sense of obligation that shouldnt even really exist... i feel for him. im scared for him. i dont want him to suffer, and i dont know if it's worth going through.

i dont want to sway his decision, im positive he will die from this either way. i dont want to lose time with him, but ive already lost time. he's had 30 years to fix this and he hasnt...

i dont know if i can physically handle the grief of seeing him this way.

he always sounds livelier over the phone than he is, but... he didn't watch his parents die this way.

i will lose both of my parents to horrible forms of cancer (i mean, they're all horrible). at least Gene froze to death and it shocked everyone and he didn't suffer.

we've been iced in for a week here in p0rtland, and i got money back that i "owed" to unemployment when gene died. it felt like, after 3 years, he was helping me,... of all times to get the money back now... itll help me move out of my in laws... but a horrible thought happened... what if it's because my dad is going to go sooner than we thought?

i cant decide, anyways, and ocd is a bitch.

my back is killing me from days of making music and trying to learn mixing and mastering and animation and editing just for the fuck of it to stay sane, entirely diy.

today i cant focus, anymore... im listening to david bowie and crying alone and listening to my stupid in laws talking in the kitchen. i cant mourn here because this is a house of narcissism and enabling. hell, someone DIED in THEIR family and THEY wont/cant even mourn.

if my dad doesnt take the chemo, he will continue to failingly rely on his weekly (or more) blood transfusions. and eventually, he will die. maybe he will choose that to spare himself, and in a way, i almost wish he would, but i cant say i really wish that, ... i wish he was a better father, i wish he didnt have cancer even if he is 73, i dont wish him a sudden death bc itd be jarring but a long way is almost worse. i dont know what i want. i wish he couldve ever cared for me so that i could care for him. but what happened is he didnt care for me, and i care, but i cant care FOR him. i cant fix this. i cant love or unlove or hurt or unhurt it away.

when he dies i will not have any family left.

and then some part of me will be released from this burden of grieving a family that was always "dead" to me, but now, permanently, which will just feel fucked up.

ive spent 3 years grieving mom and gene. then i will grieve him too. when will it fucking end

in spite of this i have to work hard to perservere bc its what gene would want. its what my dad would want even tho fuck what he wants. its what *i* would want if i was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow myself or in 40 years. im terrified.

im tired.

im so goddamn tired

theres something to be said about inherent human kindness and art and all that

i had an absolute trainwreck of a day and an hour long gap between classes, so i decided to plop by the local art store thats too far away from my home but maybe a 10min walk from school. they had really good prices and i wanted to buy the pretty pastel watercolors for myself and my friend, to make the day less miserable.

the storeworker, a kind-looking old man (surely at least in his 60s), picked up all the aquarelle boxes, saying he didnt want me, a seemingly abled person, to have to kneel on the floor to look at them. and he told me how he doesnt stock all the colors but he explained to me in detail, umprompted, how to order them for myself, with or without paying him. and he told me how hes owned this store for 28 years and hasnt changed locations (despite the location being horrible) because hes genuinely attached to this one. this shitty, tiny little hole in the wall place with no AC or even proper ventilation. and he started talking about his days as an artist, and all the incredible people he met, and how stores from the capital monopolizing certain brands ruined his once proud selection of products, and how to properly use watercolor paper, how to use distilled water and stick to one paper brand and how his personal dream is to get his hands on the aquarelles created only by and for that one russian college, and he treated me, a fucking infant baby child (18) whos been doing aquarelles for like two days (4 years) as a genuine peer and worthy conversation partner. and i almost started crying from the genuine love i felt for him.

and the day after, i got hungry between classes and decided to stop by the bakery. the bakery itself is overpriced - for the same price as other ones, you get maybe half the product. and its been closed for tax fraud maybe a month ago.

and this storeworker is an elder woman - not as old as the artist, but surely near or in her 50s - and she sometimes wears the bracelet i made her. the other students call her the "empress" of the store (named "empress"). she is the only reason i go there, and i only go when shes working the shift. at first it was because of the free food shed give us. shed always toss in a few cookies, she even remembered my favorite, and shed wish you a "royal" day (pun intended). soon, we started going there outside of the rush hours, and actually talking to her. her dream has always been to be an opera singer, but this is a poor country, and she has a sickly mother and a son who lives abroad to take care of. but she told us she found her fulfilment in work through the kindness she spread - not just the free food, but the compliments and kind words. and i almost cry every time i remember she didnt know she was so loved by the students. when i told her everybody only goes there for her, she actually didnt believe me, and when i noticed she dyed her hair (we now have similar haircolors!), she put it down and posed in front of the little hanging mirror with the biggest smile ive ever seen on her.

and i havent seen this person lately, im assuming because i havent been to one of the two places she frequents and she, probably, has, but theres this wonderful woman - i cant tell if shes old or worn down by hard work and stress - who always has the most vibrant, colorful jewelry and carries a little cardboard box.

and she approached me one day, i was going to meet up with some friends to talk about lord of the rings, and she stopped me to tell me how beautiful my hand made jewelry was. and she was holding a puppy under one arm, almost cartoonishly, and told me all about how she used to have a jewlery stand right here in this street. all of the money shes ever made shes invested in taking care of stray cats and dogs. even if it meant shed go hungry, she always made sure the animals she took care of were fed and warm and happy. but the stand was closed because of tax issues, and no cop was sympathetic towards the little kitten or puppy shed always take with her, so she was forced to make ends meet however she could and beg for money or pet food donations. and this wasnt her pressuring me for money - i hadnt even brought my wallet that day, i had my phone and some tea. this was her genuinely just wanting to stop and compliment me, and being delighted to have someone to talk to, and whenever i see people treat her like dirt i want to cry.

my point is, i met a painter and a singer and a craftsman, and all of them were the kindest people ive ever met. and i don't really look approachable, i usually only get hateful looks in public, but these three people, with far more experience than me, just genuinely wanted to talk about the things they cared about, and what they create, and i think creation makes you kinder. i think painting and singing and crafting, no matter if its a life long profession, a dream, or a failed venture, makes you more than the summ of all your parts. or something cringe like that idfk

OKAY so I love giving people the opportunity to talk about their interests and I know NOTHING about Arknights (apart from it being probably post apocalyptic. But I could be wrong!)

So! Tell me about what Arknights is about! What do you like about it? What turned it into one of your interests (if you know why)?

YIPPEEE!!! this might be a long one so ill throw in a readmore if it gets too lengthy. (FUTURE warning: it did become extremely lengthy, so i am putting it under a readmore. its a gigantic wall of several paragraphs of text, so proceed with caution, or don't proceed at all. its very spooky down there.)

the basic gist of arknights is that it is a mobile tower defense gacha. the story is about a post-apocalyptic, dystopian world full of several different races which all boil down to "Human, But With [animal trait]" and it gets a tad more complex than that, because in-universe gods and youkai and such exist (as do angels! and...whatever sarkaz classify as, but include demon-like characters and vampires??). also, there is rock cancer! it's called oripathy, named after some Real Mineral Rock known as originium (in-universe, its not real in Real Life!) that people use all the time. its a 1:1 to energy sources we use in the real world, like coal or oil: efficient, dependable, but not very "clean" and can make people very sick.

also, it grows. the rock cancer is a sentient, living thing. it's a blood infection, so it works sort of like HIV/AIDS does; as the disease progresses, the patient's life quality generally worsens (without treatment), there's no cure, the only treatments slow it or consist of supportive care, and it's terminal. oripathy is also an intended 1:1 metaphor - or rather, the patients who have oripathy are intended as a metaphor for...well, it's not very clear what, specifically. generally, individuals with oripathy (referred to as "Infected") substitute in marginalized groups of all kinds. and the disease itself isn't an exact 1:1 with HIV/AIDS, since it spreads through inhalation of contaminated airspace, and anyone who dies with it kinda...explodes? not really, somewhat, their corpses disperse oripathy "spores" into the air. it's implied that just being in a space where originium is present already poses a risk for air contamination and oripathy spread (since Franka, after having broken air filtration gear, managed to catch oripathy. it comes up in the BSW manga as a flashback for why she's infected in the first place).

while arknights is a fun tower defense game that's also just a biiiit predatory on the side (gotta make money somehow, i guess, and also its Technically The Most Generous Predator But A Wolf Is Still A Wolf, Right?), it's also a geopolitical commentary on several happenings in real life, sort of. arknights makes a lot of takes about colonialism and imperialism, and their lasting effects on generations of families; e.g., Blue Poision talks to Indigo about how her family suffered from being caught and enslaved for their inherent trait of having poisonous saliva, there was an entire new event about the Aegir (a race of lovecraftian-ish seafolk that live underwater, or are supposed to, but some live on land) being continuously hunted by the Spanish Inquisition (since that's Lumen's backstory, sorta, i didnt finish the event OTL), there's the entire country of Kazdel, populated by the Sarkaz - a species who is most susceptible to oripathy - which has a tumultuous history and the Angel country of Laterano is at least partially responsible for constantly undermining its ability to grow or move forward, etc. there was a pretty blatant line about colonialism in the event Under Tides, actually. arknights does not fuck around when it comes to making critical commentary!

it also criticizes capitalism. like, a lot. pretty blatantly. there's three entire events that take place in Kazimierz (equivalent of Poland - put a pin in this, i'll get back to it in a second), which is a country seemingly ruled by its chamber of commerce. besides a lot of the characters in the Kazimierz events (Maria Nearl, Pinus Sylvestris, and Near Light) going "it's really weird that the chamber of commerce appears to be in charge of making a lot of federal decisions around here!", there's constant undertones of how capitalistic greed survives off of punishing working class folk and how deeply it can permeate society. in those events, we learn about Kazimierz's biggest Tradition known as the Major. it's a competition where a bunch of people get together and fight each other for knighthood; the sole winner gets an actual title ("The ____ Knight" - canon examples include the Blood Knight, the Candle Knight, etc, and titles typically reference the champion's abilities and such), its all the craze, etc. except that the chamber of commerce oversees the event and is fucking hellbent on following a very specific method: introduce a new winner, let them win maybe 1-2 more times, then cycle them out. keep the hype fresh, encourage your populace to continuously produce ridiculous merch or gamble on their favorites winning, score! everybody wins! usually the champions will give up on re-entering the major for Brand Deals, but if they don't, then the chamber of commerce intervenes. By Force. like, Lethal Force. like, "Alright, buddy, we've had enough. Now we're employing our mega assassins to go after you. Fuck you."

the chamber even does this to discourage certain people from winning, it seems, and that's not even touching on how hard they've tried to gatekeep infected people from entering; maria nearl, in her event, and her sister margaret nearl, are both hunted down and nearly killed in the arena for their respective competitions. it's Fucked Up. Isn't that fucked up? Doesn't capitalism make us do crazy fucked up things, like kill people? Yeah it does. anyway, wanna buy some stuff for our game? :D

oh yeah. people also have magic in this universe. its called Arts! a lot of people can have Arts, but not everyone has Arts. there's no specific terminology for who does/doesn't have arts; either you do or you don't. not everyone can wield it without some sort of aid, though, so some people (typically non-infected people) use what are called arts casting devices or arts units to use ~Their Magic~. these can really be anything; they don't necessarily have to be staffs or wands. infected people have an increased aptitude for arts, though, in that they can practice their Magick without any sort of need for a casting unit and their magic is usually stronger, enhanced by their infection. the downside is that the more they use arts, the worse the progression of the disease gets, so using it too much or too frequently can wear out a user and worsen the severity of their oripathy. the magick is also susceptible to being influenced by emotion (Ifrit is a notable example of this - she's an infected kid who has anger issues, and has fire-based arts, and you can imagine where this is going. also, her oripathy is extremely advanced since she was like, a human test subject, so her arts unit is a Fucking Flamethrower!).

digressing here to make a note about weaponry: do guns exist in arknights? yes, sort of. they don't use gunpowder and instead contain a mini arts unit that can fire bullets, so using guns = using magic, and not everyone can do that either. the most skilled at using guns are, ironically, the angel race Sankta, and they are absolute gun fanatics. nobody really knows why (yet), but their religion says its okay. what is NOT okay is for them to shoot, injure, or kill each other with their state-sanctioned guns, and doing so will cause you to become a fallen angel, and blah blah blah. guns are also weaker than the preferred ranged weapon: crossbows! its implied that those who typically use guns and are also the best at it are sankta, so everyone just kinda leaves them be, but the best gun is inferior to the best crossbow. its weird to think about...

oh yeah, about the Kazimierz-Poland thing: arknights has earth-equivalent countries in its own universe, sort of. heres a map! the uncolored space is not water; only the dark blue is.

rapid fire: -Bolivar is...latin-america. like, all together. (sigh) -Iberia is spain! -Sargon is a mishmash of SWANA countries, and just a general "Africa." (sigh) -Rim Billiton is australia -Victoria is England, with no separation of North Ireland. sorry irish people -Kjerag is... um... Scandinavia? i think. -Leithanien is supposed to be a austria-hungary counterpart specifically, with switzerland mixed in, or like, some german states or something. -ursus is GREAT MOTHERLAND RUSSIA -yen is China! its notable setting is the city-state of Lungmen, where a lot of the story takes place, and Lungmen itself is thought to be a Hong Kong equivalent. -higashi, likewise, is japan! -columbia is supposed to be a US standin -Siracusa is ITALIA -Kazdel.... according to gamepress, is modelled off of the War of the Austrian Succession. some people say its the balkan countries equivalent of terra. -Laterano is the vatican city! the pope lives there. -Minos is Greece, that's easy. -Sami....is something we know almost nothing about. seemingly based off the Scandivanian Sami population, its really cold, and thats it. -Honestly i have no fucking idea what siesta is. i think it's just a siracusan island and gets its own designation because one of the first arknights events took place there. there's a nifty video that delves more into specifics here! anyway, we would be here all week if i talked any more about arknights, so i'll cut myself off there for now. i'll be happy to field any further questions (if you're interested). do i recommend playing it? no; i don't feel it's in good faith to recommend anyone a gacha game, no matter how F2P friendly it is. but is it good? yeah. without flaws, no, but nothing is. it's more diverse than genshin impact, so... anyway, thanks for indulging me :3

I posted 471 times in 2022

140 posts created (30%)

331 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@acilykos-art

@disasterpersonified

@im-surviving-off-of-tea11

@the-ancient-ocean

@headphonemouse

I tagged 226 of my posts in 2022

#dr stone - 176 posts

#dcst - 168 posts

#dr. stone - 151 posts

#drst - 127 posts

#gen asagiri - 72 posts

#asagiri gen - 72 posts

#ryusui nanami - 59 posts

#senku ishigami - 54 posts

#kohaku - 51 posts

#nanami ryusui - 42 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#seriously ive rewatched dr.stone. how i met your mother. the originals and moriarty the patriot multiple times now

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Senku hcs

Oh this shall be fun

Realizes he's aromantic asexual in middle school. Everyone else was going on about romance and dating and all that other stuff, and all he cared about was science.

Was the one lecturing people in elementary school about why certain super powers can't be real and crushed the hopes and dreams of those wanting lazer vision

Would secretly leave Taiju money or other things he needed but pretended he had no idea where they came from

Since hes the definition of aroace, his gaydar is never wrong

Tried to figure out if he could turn himself into a robot as a kid, it did not work

Speaking of robots, he had robot pj's up until he was 11 in which he traded them for science ones

His experiments would make stay up late into the night, so naturally, he developed a taste for energy drinks.

At night he will sometimes think of Byakuya and remember all the memories he has with his dad, he might try to act like the man was embarrassing and all, but deep down hes a kid who never got to say goodbye to his dad

The only two people he can fully confide in are Taiju and Yuzuirha

While its common for kids who are adopted to want to know about their biological parents, he doesnt. He had Byakuya after all, and Byakuya is his dad, nothing else matters.

Hope you like them. Senku is a very fun character to make headcanons for.

45 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

#4

no one in Dr.STONE is an autistic retard so why do you plan to make a post about it? just cause you're retarded doesnt mean they are

congrats you got me to use Tumblr Desktop instead of my phone because im going to have a lot to say.

First of all, fuck off with the R word here, its an outdated and harmful term thats rooted in Ableism. Secondly i was going to ignore this and delete it when i saw the first line but then you also decided to insult me so you know enjoy getting your ass handed to you.

But whats wrong with noticing that certain characters in Dr.STONE are ASD coded? Like everyone accepts that Ryusui has ADHD but being autistic is something bad right? News Flash it isnt. Also show me where in the manga that Sai and Yuzuriha dont show traits of autism? i feel explaining to you would be a waste of energy but just know this is only going to make my post on it even longer cause holy fuck the beginning will now have a rant about people like you. Do me a favor and never send an ask here again and kindly fuck off.

Also this comment really pissed me off and i was going to focus on just Sai and Yuzuriha but now im gonna add Magma,Senku and Ruri to this as well cause ive also been seeing them as ASD coded but have been keeping that to myself.

47 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

#3

so i finished fmab

sobbing crying wailing etc it was SO GOOD and completely destroyed me at the same time fhjfjkfjhfkjhsahjsdjhfkjdjghdkjsk definitely the anime of all time

welcome to the world of FMAB. The obsession will never leave, and the pain gets worse with every rewatch. But with that also comes seeing little things you never noticed before which makes the series even better. 

47 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#2

Ok so ill be posting about the final chapter soon but. IM SO HAPPY SENKU DIDNT GET ANY LOVE INTERESTS. HES AROACE AND STAYS AROACE HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

54 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ok but i really need to know what people have against aroace characters? Like theres nothing wrong with any character being aroace but for some reason it just causes others to be so upset and for what? Ive seen it with mostly One Piece and The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. Luckily havent seen it as much with Dr.STONE or at least on tumblr. The number of people ive blocked on tiktok for getting upset about Senku being CANONICALLY aroace is ridiculous. But yeah can someone just explain this to me? Cause aroace exist and we do deserve to have our representation in media and not in the "oh im rude because im aroace and thats my only personality" way. But in a way where we ardnt dehumanized for not feeling romantic or sexual attraction.

331 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

ough

im havin that 3am leftovers, some reason i cant sleep, woke up abd remembered that i didnt eat but one small meal and a coffee yesterday, so i decided to eat the chicken and rice that i cooked for someone else who aint eat it, then im eating it now, and i am havin trouble eating and im having triuble eating recently and i have work in 3 hours and my body hurts so terribly and i got the flu so fucking hard and i never had time to rest, i dont think im sick anymore but my body was so wrecked and i never rested the whole time because im so fucked, then i had to fucking crawl my way through two shifts and go home to clean and die and cook for others and then two days of just the worst absolute shit, i was supposed to rest yesterday and the day before and now i have this permanent cough and like a splinter in my heel that never came out and it just hurts forever and my knees hate me because im so fat and im so fat because im so broke and ridden and now my body is sore again and i haven't been eating and i havent been sleeping and i havent been resting and i haven't been living and i havent been making art which feels like breathing so it feels liek i havent been breathing. and so ill eat the goddamn leftovers because there cannot be food wasted and money wasted and in my heart it tears at my soul to throw away an animals meat and i know ill cry like a fucking dumb idiot bitch if i let this birds muscle go to waste. poor thing probably died thirsty for freedom. i sometimes feel like i owe it to all the birds and cows ive eaten to be wrecklessly free. like a slave to freedom. like this cant end well free. dont think about it free. because i fail at everything i do, so i dont think im the soul on earth wholl use freedom to help anyone. it seems like every time i try really really hard to help someone they either treat me like a snake or they cage me like a bird. so wadda hell bulnasaur. eat the fucking chicken you idiot. permanent cough lets hope not i picked the wrong fucking time to be forced to quit smoking i fucking have a goddamn pattern id like to stick to and i think being forced like this is gonna make it so much worse. before id smoke for like a month and quit for two years. and it works for me, no one believes me and thats fine i know cigs are scary but fuck i didnt care because it worked pretty well and i hardly ever thought about it. but now im supposed to trust someone who patently doesnt believe me about the way my goddamn guts are stitched together and forces me to fucking stifle my heart, no cigs, no fire, no electric experiments, and no glass juggling. this is fucking shit man i have no right being this still all the time. no loud music, no incense, no anything that i love what the fuck. okay this was too much actually. the joys are worth it though, im no goddamn fool

Hello! How are you, and I have a request if you wish to do it. So I was thinking of a College AU with Shinsou working there as a part-time employee, then one day fem! reader comes in and at first he is like “Pfft whatever” but then he brings dropping his tsunade behavior and beings growing soft for her while he got to know her and he has seen her rescue a kitten in which he asked to help co-parent their child. He is doing it to get to know her more because he fell for her, but she is a bit oblivious when it comes to ✨feelings✨. I thought this would make a cute HC/ Drabble, however you wish to do it, of how their relationship began to bloom at the local coffee shop.

AAAAHHHH!!!! YES!

Happy Birthday to Shinsou Hitoshi!💜

The most adorable, handsome, and overall best purple headed boy on the show (Fuck off Mineta).

To Take Care of a Stray: Shinsou Headcanons

Barista! Shinsou x F! Reader

FLUFF

As any college student would tell you, cheap caffeinated drinks were a must.

Coffee specifically was a must.

Shinsou was honestly debating if he needed his 3rd cup of coffee that morning or if he could just wing it and go on with an empty tank.

He procrastinated when it came to his assigned project, plus his project partner ditched him, so he was practically all alone figuring his shit out.

And thats how he found himself working at his local coffee shop.

He hated every single customer that would come in at any hour of the day that he work on.

They all demanded his attention and honestly, some days he wished he could just scream in their faces that "No, i don't give a fuck about your pet bird speaking back to you. I'm only here to make you your coffee and take your money."

The cheap coffee was worth it though, so he keeps the complaining to a minimum.

Retail is honestly a "no reward" type of job. The amount of entitlement that some people have baffles him at times.

Around his second year in college he ends up working the late shift to make some extra cash. It also meant less people coming in and demanding an overly complicated drink. Score!

The sound of the rain pouring down helped calm his nerves and allowed him to relax for moment before the door of the shop swung open.

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to do that." The first time you walked into the shop you accidentally pulled the door with too much force that it ended up slamming into the wall.

Shinsou immediately didn't like you.

Who the fuck was this woman?

You went up the counter and told him your order taking out your money and handing it to him.

Clean and simple. Nothing special.

Then you came back again a few days later. That really fucked with him.

Most customers came in and never bothered to talk to him. He wanted their money while they wanted the shitty coffee they sold. Easy, right?

Nope, not with you apparently. You came in and asked about his day, how his studies were going, and if anything interesting happened in the shop.

He would respond with brief answers and immediately ignored you afterwards.

You were just so annoying.

..Ok, maybe not.

You were funny, the way you fumbled and played it off as you being intentional.

The way your mouth would widen into a smile anytime he spoke back to you.

You weren't overly energetic, nor overly happy. You were just nice, nice to him.

He wasn't use to that.

You fascinated him just because you existed and he wanted to learn more about you.

He got his chance on the 5th time you came in.

You usually came in at a specific time, always when there was barely any customers, but today you didnt' show up at all.

He wont admit it but he got concerned and would keep looking at the clock on the wall and back to the door of the coffee shop.

When you finally came in, you had scratches on your hand and on your cheek.

"What the fuck happened to you?" He leaned onto his hand that was placed on the counter top. His body relaxed and only showed boredom.

In reality he was terrified, you had scratches on your hands and red streaks too. Why?

"Oh, i was just- i fell into a bush." You gave him a smile that made his heart flutter and legs go weak.

He was so happy he was leaning on the counter because he hadn't he would have fallen onto the floor.

Your smile just had that affect on him.

"How stupid can you be? Look were your going next time."

"Aww, thanks sir!"

Good mood was gone. He told you not to treat him like your friend, thats not what you both are.

...But he really hated that you took that very literally and didn't bother to at least call him by his last name.

"Hmm." He gave you your usual and answered the questions you had for him that day.

You started to come in 4 times a week and every time you did he would notice new scratches on you.

The scratches weren't that bad, he thought maybe you were one those "adventures" types, but the red marks were concerning him.

When he would ask you about them you always had a different excuse for them.

"My backpacks straps are bit rough."

"I placed my arm wrong on the table"

It was this or that but never a concrete answer.

It was happening every time you came in so something had to be wrong.

He gathered up the little cuarage he had and decided to ask you what you were doing.

"Why do have so many scratches on you?" You werent expecting him to be so blunt but you happily told him to meet you after his shift at the nearby alleyway.

He was suspicious of you but he was also curious, he desperately needed answers because the concern for your wellbeing was getting to be too much for him.

He followed your instructions and walked towards the alleyway you directed him to.

When he turned the corner he saw the most beautiful scene in the world.

You were surrounded by cats...and you were giving them food.

He could die happily then and there.

"W- this is why you show us with scratches all over you!?" You nodded but got up and walked over to a cardboard box that was tucked under a bigger box.

You told him to follow and when he crouched down to see what was in it he saw two huge eyes staring back at him.

"You've been- this little thing is the reason for your scratches?"

"Yep!"

He laughed at you and helped you feed all of the cats.

When the two of you finished up, you picked up the box that the small kitten was tucked in and gave it a pat on the head.

"What are you going to do with the kitten?" Shinsou asked you.

"Well, i wish i could take it with me but i don't think i'd be able to take care of it since i work early in the morning and have classes late at night."

Shinsou's mind started planning.

He really liked you and wanted to be around you more often.

Shit, if he was brutally honest he had a crush on you.

"Well, i have classes early morning while i work at night. So...why don't we co-pa-... i mean co-care for the little guy?" He knows his ears were red, he knows his face was starting to turn red as well.

But he wasn't about to admit that he really wanted you to say "yes".

"Uh, ok. Sure!"

Shinsou was over the moon with this and it was all going so perfectly as well.

The kitten would spend the mornings with you and in the afternoons the two of you would meet up to take care of it together.

You both decided to name the kitten Mieko.

""Beautiful blessing child", thats a cute name! Why do you want to call him that?"

"Because...i want to- y-you idiot. Stop asking so many questions!" You just laughed at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Shinsou melts.

Shinsou would bring the kitten with him to work since his boss had a soft spot for animals.

Imagine how exited he was when you first invited him into your own apartment.

"You have your own place? Color me impressed."

"Thanks Shin." Shinsou blushed a little at the nickname. It had been over a month that you both agreed to take care of the kitten together.

The more time he spent with you the more he fell.

"I hope you like the umm...book." This was another thing that started after the two of you began to co-parent the kitten. He would bring you gifts and act like it meant nothing.

Reality is that he was courting you.

He expected you to make a comment on his gifts but you glossed over them like nothing.

It was getting on his nerves.

"Aah, hey. Do you want to take Mieko out for a walk...again."

"Was that a question or a demand?" You laughed at him

You made it look easy with how much you make him blush.

The more time you both spent with each other, the more Shinsou realized he was truly in love with you and wanted you to be by his side.

But he was facing a problem. You.

You wouldn't pick up on the hints he was dropping on you. His interest on you.

So one day he decides to just tell up upfront if you would like to go on a date with him.

"Hey Shin, do you want to go on a date with me?"

Shinsou. exe has stopped operations

"W-wha-"

"I'm joking buddy! But seriously do you want to go out to eat? I think Mieko would-"

"W-WHaT!? F-fuck no!" That upset you because you thought he might like free lunch.

"You could've just said no." He was losing you, again.

Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!

"N-no wait! What i wanted to say was umm, would you like to go out with me? Like a date! N-not like friends."

You both just stared at each other for a moment, the silence only making the situation worse.

"...Sure."

Mieko, your child, just blinked at the two of you.

"These two ridiculous humans are my parents, great." At least this lead to Shinsou moving in with you and Mieko having a permanent home now.

Double the pats for the two new people in your home, double the purring sounds, double the angry and grouchy cats begging for your attention.

Who wold trade this? You got to cuddle with the two most adorable people in this world.

"I'm not fucking adorable Y/n!"

"Shush Toshi or you're not getting cuddles and kisses."

"....fine."

modern eren jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!eren jaeger x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of p*rnhub

- firstly, this man is CONVINCED it was love at first sight (he ALWAYS tells you this too)

- "babe when i met you i just KNEW you were gonna be mine" "no you didnt" "yes i did- hey dont stop holding me 😣"

- you guys met because you were tutoring him. (he was failing history 😔💔)

- after weeks of shy touches and shared giggles he FINALLY brought his grade up and didnt need you anymore

- that didnt mean he didnt want you tho ;)

- asked you out on a date (and by that i mean to a party smh 🙄)

- and the rest is history 😌✨

- hes the kind of guy that flirts with you even though youre together

- "so uh,, you come here often 😏"

- "eren youre in my apartment 😐"

- he tries to invite you everywhere that he goes with his friends

- like,,, EVERYWHERE

- jean and reiner wanna organize a boys night ? hes pulling out his phone getting ready to text you and saying "oh is it okay if y/n comes ? i didnt get to see them much this week i miss them 🥺" like mf this is for The Boyz 😡😤🥶🥵🔥‼️

- youre weirdly close with sasha, shes just really cool

- eren will call you at the most inconvenient times for the stupidest reasons

- one time he called you while you were doing an INTERVIEW for work and you wanna know what he called you for ? to tell you he bought a bunch of silly string to use on jean.

- bitch im trying to get PAID. rn . trying to make a LIVING. so i dont end up below the POVERTY LINE. tell me about ur silly string after i secure the bag 🙄‼️

- is very touchy. like very touchy.

- but also respects bounderies

- hes NEVER mad when you have something to say about him or your relationship together

- you dont feel comfortable with the pda ?? He Wont do it Again

- you think you two could work on communicating better with each other ?? hes already googling ways to do that

- he cares and cherishes you and the bond you two have created together, hes not gonna try and ruin that

- is a fucking lightweight. dont go with him to parties.

- but if you asked him to hold his drink he will NOT forget about it.

- a couple times he broke the plastic cup he was gripping it so hard 🤩

- is also the type of guy to just protect others ?? like for no reason

- he sees a guy trying to get close to a girl who had made it abundantly clear that she didnt want that ?? hes going over there and playing bf to protect that stranger

- he can thank first year drama class for his superb acting skills 😌✨

- will literally help anyone he sees in a bind

- also his brother is weirdly cool ??

- his parents live far away but his brother only lives like,, 40 minutes away from the university

- hes like an older brother to everyone 🤩

- if you like reading classic literature zeke is your guy to talk to. has so many ideas and opinions on those stories and stuff, and will NOT hesitate to lend you a book of his

- eren has led lights in his room. he ALWAYS has them on the colour red

- he doesnt understand why ppl think hes horny bc of the red lights ?? his eyes just adjust better to the red lights compared to the blue 😔

- he has stretch marks all over his body 🤩 like on his biceps, tummy, back, thighs, etc. etc. doesnt really think about them anymore but he used to be SO self conscious of them in highschool. he saw berty (bertholdt) with his shirt off once during his freshman year and saw how he had stretch marks too, and immediately thought they were cool

- he likes to play with your hair and scratch your scalp, but he likes it when you braid his hair because he thinks it makes him look pretty

- will get you weird things because they remind him of you

- one time he came to pick you up for your date and before you could even KISS HIM hes pushing you away and pulling out a tiny ceramic frog 😐

- "no you dont understand zeke took me to a thrift store today and i found this and it reminded me of you-" "i look like a frog to you ? is that what youre saying ?" "NO ! its just so cute, and youre so cute so i had to get it. do you like it 😊"

- doesnt like most meats, his only exceptions are chicken,

- thats it 😐

- you guys were having a picnic and you made sandwichs (with the sliced turkey meat) and he took one bite out of it, looked you in your face, and spit it back into the baggy without breaking eye contact

- likes just laying in bed with you. has a playlist of songs like arctic monkeys and shit like that, just sitting in the dark with a song on low volume, whispering whatever he wants into your ear is like,, the DEFINITION of love in his book

- also can and will recite lines from shakespeare plays to you ?? will be at the most randomest times. you could be sweeping and he'd just wrap his arms around you before whispering "two households, both alike in dignity. in fair verona where we lay our scene. from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."

- okay mf this isnt english class 😐‼️ but thank you 😁👍

- will always try and do new tiktok trends and make funny videos so he can "blow up"

- he gets on average like 20 views 🤩

- he likes seeing you and his friends get along, it just makes him so happy that you love mikasa and armin just as much as he does, and hes so thankful that youre all friends

- likes to help you reach whatever you cant, and if youre taller (even by an inch) hes making you grab things for him

- he doesnt have a major yet, and he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life, but being a hairstylist sounds cool

- whenever youre having a bad day mentally, he'll just give you your space unless you say otherwise

- he doesnt know if its the best idea, but he knows when he gets into a bad headspace he wants to be alone

- if you do say you want him with you, he'll lie right beside you in bed and spoon you, and if you want he'll put on the arctic monkeys playlist and whisper about the project he worked on for his business class

- he doesnt like sharing, BUT will steal your shit all the time 🙄

- "oh hey heres that thing i borrowed from you" "oh my fucking god eren i thought i lost that months ago"

- may not understand everything he learns in class, but he always tries bc this is his education !! his parents saved up a lot of money for him to be able to go to university !! hes gonna try his best to make the most of this

- i feel like he would play baseball at university. he asks that u wear his jersey to every game so "everyone knows that the most beautiful person attending this educational establishment is MINE" like,, k ill wear the jersey 🙄🤚

- has a list of the best websites to use to illegally stream movies, anime etc.

NSFW ! -------

- also hates pornhub. knows about all the controversies and shit about the website and doesnt use it. supports smaller porn companies that respect their workers 😁👍

- his parents love you. Im Serious

- carla asks about you all the time (hey mommy 😏) and his dad wonders about you too even though hes more lowkey about it

- always has to open the door for you or pull out your chair for you. no matter what setting youre in he Has to do it bc hes a gentleman

- bohemian rhapsody is his comfort film

- i think eren thinks that Youre the One for him, and this idea is solidified when you two graduate together 😍

- he takes you back to the library where he first met you, gives you a promise ring and just asks you to move in with him, hes not ready for an engagement and he knows you arent either, but he knows that youre it for him, and he just wants to be with you for as long as youll allow it

GAH this felt all over the place and very mediocre but i hope you enjoyed !!! remember asks are open so feel free to request something 🤩

Wolf pups????

yeah

some Lore for yall is that i used to volunteer at a SUPER SKETCHY floridian exotic animal rescue that in no way shouldve been legal but i was a teenager and didnt have the skills to assess that at the time

my main job was working with the wolf puppies. that was the only large predator enclosure i was allowed in by myself. i would feed them, groom them, care for their enclosure, take them on walks, play with them, etc

anubis was my favorite because i named him and he was also very lazy and would pretty much just sleep on me. kashmere is ??? technically mine i dont know if shes still around, i used to have my certificate of ownership but i think that was just a formality thing and was in no way legally binding

i just looked this place up and apparently they have a liger and several hyenas now which horrifies me but (the owner was literally buck fucking wild and also stole money from us but thats a whole other thing)

my best best best friend there though was a 900lb siberian tiger named genesis, i always called him jenny. he was the sweetest boy in the world and would chuff so loud when he saw me walking up and LOVED getting ear scratches. im unfortunately allergic to cats so one time he licked me all the way up my arm and i had the WORST hives (yes tiger tongue is even rougher than cat tongue)

i also was just a weird little dude and apparently told none of my friends or teachers that i worked there. so one time we had a field trip there and i ??? still told no one so when we got there the tour guide was leading us around and i just. walked up to the tiger enclosure and stuck my arms in and started petting jenny and my teachers had near fatal attacks from the psychic damage. and then jenny immediately turned around and peed on everyone (tigers can piss like 20 feet straight backwards) and i had a good laugh about the whole thing

i got along with most of the animals there, but the female coatimundi HATED MY GUTS for literally no reason and i did not laugh when she hung from the top of her enclosure to pee on my head. it was a shame because her mate really just wanted to cuddle me all the time but she bullied him so bad. the foxes were more neutral and the leopards were mostly pretty aggressive but the puma was a big baby and just wanted to be my friend

the lion was a whole other story. literally the devil incarnate. terrified of him to this day. have NEVER been more afraid then when i thought for several hours he had gotten out of his enclosure and i just hid in a hole

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

I forgot to watch content all week so i wrote about games ive been playing

9/2/2021: The Truman Show

You should fear your fears but embrace them and use them to guide you into the unknown, to explore and experience what life has to offer. Fear stands between you and the fullest experience of life so you must pass through it to better yourself. Heed not the walls built about you and the chains made to hold you. Though the architects insist it will preserve your life, containment is anathema to life. Do not take in faith the benevolence of powers that be; instead trust those who would support and liberate you, guide you through fear and into life.

As best I can lay it out, I think this is the philosophy of the Truman show but there is so much more to read into it also. There is critique of systems of commodification and celebrity (i.e. capitalism) reducing human beings to a consumable good as well as encouragement to find and pursue your goals despite adversity and even sensibility which is also tied to the illusion of economic responsibility. You can’t put a camera inside a human head, you can never “know” them without being an active and intrinsic part of their life, but also there is need for reciprocation. If one half exists with ulterior motive then the entire relationship is rotten; sincere humanity is what creates real connections. Without such your world is fake. A world built around one person is a world where no one can truly live. All these actors have given up basically their entire lives for the sake of watching Truman have his life built around him by outside forces, have allowed themselves to be commodified and dehumanised for the good of one man, Christoph. The man at the top has delusions of grandeur and thinks only of his own bottom line, he cares not for his subjects but simply wants them to do as he tells them because it benefits him to commodify their lives and interactions. Even then he cannot stand to lose control and in seeking to demonstrate Truman’s “realness” he structures his life so thoroughly that eventually there’s no reality left, only a script and adverts. But the people watching still empathise with Truman because everyone in the working class understands what it is to be trapped because real life is our own Truman show and one day we must all pass through fear, step out of the dome and create a real life for ourselves outside of the system of commodification which consumes everyone’s life and removes all realness and sincerity and emotional catharsis from it.

I unreservedly love this film.

14/2/2021: Assorted Game Reviews

Horizon Zero Dawn (Unfinished due to technical issues, 45 hours inc. parts of Frozen Wilds): This game is really cool and really fun. I think it is defined by its incredible setting which somehow creates a fresh feeling post-apocalyptic environment. Said environment creates intriguing alt-future lore and some very interesting environments to explore. I love the machine designs (especially tallnecks!) and was very sad to hear one of their contributing artists passed away recently but I’m glad their work lives on in this visually stunning game. I’m a sucker for Ubisoft-style open world games simply because it tickles a certain kind of itch and somehow this non-Ubisoft game has outdone Ubisoft on their own formula, which is hilarious, but also good for me as running around this world exploring and clearing map markers is engaging fun. Not least because of the combat. I have a minor criticism here that the combat feels slightly awkward on mouse and keyboard, the arrows never seem to go where I’m aiming, but aside from that the experience of fighting is a grand one. Enemies never lose their threat and I love the weak spot system the game employs which makes every tool useful in niche circumstance and rewards curiosity. It specifically manages this in a way that I feel the Witcher series could learn from if it ever returns; by making head on assault less viable and encouraging tactical hunting. I do feel this system makes hunting robots so fun that by contrast hunting humans becomes a chore however, though I noted this improves in the dlc with the addition of humans with elemental weaknesses limited in number as they are. I cannot speak for the story in entirety but what I encountered was pretty good, though I feel as if it was only just really getting going at the point where I could not continue. I find Aloy to be a compelling and well portrayed protagonist and though I can guess about her origin and the ultimate end of the alt-future apocalypse I still want to see how it plays out on screen, so will return to this as soon as I’ve fixed it.

Rimworld (122 hours. Familiar with but do not own Royalty Expansion):

Rimworld is one of those super special games that I don’t think I have a single problem with. Fair warning it can be brutal and is heavily dependent on RNG but this allows it to create truly unique and interesting scenarios on a constant basis. In the wider perspective it could be described as formulaic, with regular cycles of managing the settlement between raids and random events, but the devils in the details. Colonist traits, health and skills dictate how you play and sometimes you’ll be forced to adapt as some colonists simply refuse to perform some tasks. The depth of health particularly amuses me, in that each little part of someone’s body is modelled in a way. If you’re in a firefight you may take a single bullet which grazes your finger and you’re fine. Alternately it could pierce your human leather cowboy hat, your skull and kill you instantly and the game will tell you exactly what happened. The risk/reward element is addictive enough, and that’s without accounting for just how cool it is to see your colony slowly expand. Establishing more and more options for crafting is fun and shows off the full range of different items in the game which is fucking extensive. Between clothing, weapons, armour, sculpture and drugs to name only a few you have the opportunity to create many varied production lines either for your colonists or to trade for money and there is a lot of fun to be had here as well as it is quite satisfying to see psychoid you have grown personally become the cocaine your colonists snort to help them stay awake on limited sleep. From an archaeologist’s perspective it is especially cool to look back over your base and see the hints of how and why structures were built and remember the history of your limitations and development through structure. I think the lore of the universe is really cool too, a very 40k-esque kind of place except with far less order, somehow. But the universe does an excellent job of feeling alive and moving constantly on both a planetary and interstellar level. You can fully believe that while you build wooden shacks to shield yourself from terrifyingly low temperatures there are simultaneously rich pieces of shit living it up on the glitterworld that’s one system over. The music does an excellent job of creating the wild west frontier atmosphere the game cultivates to great effect. Ultimately, for just being a grid with a series of different numbers attached, this game does a fantastic job of creating a compelling, brutal and very real colony management experience. I dont think I can properly put into words the grandness and scope of this one. I didnt even mention the modding scene, which is expansive and tailors to basically any need you could have. The Rim is a terrifying place but theres so much fun to be had.

Factorio (86 hours, mostly 1.1): Having completed a game of Factorio I can tell you reliably that this is one of the best games ever made, thoroughly addictive and fun. If you like numbers, logistics, TRAINS, its gonna be your thing. Not to mention its probably the only documented case of a game with no bugs (so far as official forums are concerned). Strictly speaking this games combat is not the most engrossing thing but good lord do you feel it when you acquire a flamethrower. The way each aspect of the game (production, research, logistics, combat, upgrades for everything therein) feeds into the next is a really well constructed balancing act such that you must experience the full game in order to complete it and I always appreciate this kind of design. I think its one of the best tenets of factory game design especially as its something present in Satisfactory too. Beyond all of this generalised good the game is also excellent in its intricacies, the architecture necessary to build a maximum efficiency base, the level of planning and organisation that can be employed is mind-blowing. Not to mention the mod community, factorion is already an extensive experience and some mad bastards have seen fit to complicate it further, hats off to them. This really is a great moment in gaming.

 Destiny 2 (198 hours, all expansions, played some post Forsaken release, mostly Season of Arrivals onwards, spent roughly £20 on microtransactions):

This is a very interesting and enjoyable experience, but I must say it can be a bit controversial at times. What its does particularly well is moment to moment gameplay and design in all aspects. The game is stunning; between environments, cosmetics, shaders ships and ghosts there’s a vast range of incredible things to see, all rooted in the “pseudo-magi-science” aesthetic it’s got going on. The class design is excellent and you really do feel like you embody this rampaging madman / agile gunman / space wizard archetype, whichever you choose to play. The abilities, especially supers, are very satisfying. Everything has heft and power behind it which can be felt in all aspects of design; sound and animation is top notch. Movement is cool, you can feel how fast you move both on foot and in vehicles and the navigation has a little fun subtlety depending on your class jump, even if you can bounce unpredictably occasionally. But for the love of god why is the wall kick in there? It has only ever served to push me from a ledge into a bottomless pit. You're looking to remove antiquated content? Start there. Some guns are not so good to shoot but there’s such a great range of guns that are fun its like complaining about one drop in an ocean; and enemies are fun to shoot at, each faction distinct in meaningful ways and presenting an effective challenge. Speaking of oceans, that’s one way to describe the lore. I haven’t dived too deep but it keeps going down forever and everything I’ve read is intriguing. As a former Elder Scrolls lore nut this is something I could definitely sink my teeth into, though its much more of a pulpy sci-fi vibe than a pure nonsense vibe. I do think the game has a bit of a loot problem, primarily in regards to the conflict between high stats and looking good. This should never be a conflict, and yes you can apply ornaments to any purple gear but that’s not enough when I spend the entire time grinding power levels and thus must change armour and weapons on a constant basis to progress. This game needs a true transmog system and if not that, rethink how gear power level works. Perhaps rather than earning new instances of gear you always possess a version of it and the loot you acquire in missions just upgrades your instance to your current overall power level? This would serve to do away with the current upgrade system which I think is a needless additional grind. Perhaps it could be retained in using enhancement cores to empower gear as present but necessitating a whole upgrade module to keep your favourite weapon on hand is kind of painful honestly. There is also at present the issue of sunsetting gear, mildly controversial to say the least. If it’s necessary to streamline the game and make it function moving forward so be it but surely loot pools should be adjusted so you can actually get useful loot from older locations? And why sunset personal instances of gear which can be acquired at the regular power level anyway? I had to throw away my favourite bow and hunt down a new version of the exact same weapon for… what reason? I do think destination navigation leaves a little to be desired also. I get that having a physical hub world is meaningful but Destiny does not have a very extroverted community; I can count the times someone noticed me in the tower on one hand. And its not even like there’s fun activities to be found in the same sense as say Deep Rock Galactic, which really does take advantage of its hub. Perhaps for players who simply want to go about their business all of the vendors could be set into a menu system where just clicking an icon takes you to their menu from anywhere in the system rather than, per se, having to go through an entire loading screen (Which takes you to orbit and back) to reach a location which serves simply as the front for four menus. These are established player problems. As a dedicated PvE player I can say that this game is immensely fun in combat and growing in power does feel really good. It’s something I recommend getting into, there’s just some very large creases that need ironing which the Bungie should really take the time to address rather than pushing out new in game content every three months.

pulling up with a baby with tendou bc of the quarantine and how the team would react pls 🥺 i feel like coach washijo would be happy and would try to convince yall to let the bby go to shiratorizawa 🤣

anon ive been having the worst day but this request made me lose my shit thank u so much GOOD LORD LMFAOO

I did my best to do this request JUSTICE lol. it turned into general baby havin hcs but I hope you like it regardless!! its rlly long so my bad 🥺

Shiratorizawa reacting to Tendou + his s/o leaving lockdown w a mfin BABY

OK. so he was prob at your apartment when the lockdown was announced

so since all his shit was already there, he had clothes and a toothbrush n it was just generally more convenient for him to stay at your place

he did! he messaged his mom to let her know where hed be, she Didnt Mind lol (we dont know much ab tendous family so?? aah)

now. not saying yall spent all ur time fucking. but u 100% did

and since u ran out of birth control and condoms pretty soon into quarentine......... 👀

both of u sorta just went

FUCK IT

both of you were pretty in love anyway, and even if things didnt work out, you guys figured that youd always work together to be the best parents for the kid you could possibly be

which led to were ur at now. a measly week out of quarantine. n ur being rushed to the labour ward.

tendou is RUNNING AFTER U W HIS LONG ASS LEGS

shiratorizawa closed for the rest of the academic year, which meant that as a 3rd year, you guys and a lot of the team wouldnt see eachother in uniform again

but not to worry!! to make up for the missed celebrations theyve organised a prom and a couple days where 3rd years can come in and give proper goodbyes to everyone, including the coaches!!

everyone on the team showed up, because they wanted to say bye to their senpais 🥺🥺

but. that's like 3 months from ur labour

so when u n tendou pull up to the school, with a 3month old CHILD they r. astounded.

they know its u guys' tho

literally theres not even the possibility for a JOKE that u cheated on tendou because the kid has the same fucking hair.

it's only a little tuft (u know what anime babies look like lol) but that nose n that hair? TENDOU SATORIS GENES CAME THRU

the baby has ur eyes. and compared to the rest of its tiny little face?? they're fucking HUGE

you guys let ushijima hold him (I feel like youd have a son?) and ngl ushi cries.

it's a single tear but tendou will INSIST that waka was SOBBING years afterward

everyone is so attached to the kid sorry

USHIJIMA IS THE GODFATHER LMAO DID U EXPECT ANYTHING ELSE???

the baby is so attached to semi tho!!! the second semi reaches forward to hold the kid and poke at its fat lil cheeks, hes giggling and blubbering up at his uncle semi 🥺

JWJDJD GOSHIKI FREEZES WHEN YOU OFFER HIM TO HOLD THE KID. HE JUST GOES PALE AND FREEZES UP

REON IS SO GOOD WITH THE BABY

he offers to help you guys go shopping for more baby stuff 🥺🥺 and when his mom finds out ab the kid (team sleepovers were at reons house n u were ALWAYS invited so she LOVES U sorry I make the rules)

she gives u some of reons old baby clothes!!! n ur LOSING ur mind because WDYM THIS TALL MFER WAS ONCE LIKE A FOOT TALL AND WEARING A BLUE BEAR ONESIE???

she doesnt judge u for being a young mother!! I imagine she was too?? Reon is real respectful n I'll be damned if she isnt just as sweet

the coaches are already on your ass about toddler volleyball. they call up a couple friends and have already organized a group for teaching young Young YOUNG kids how to play despite ur son being. 3 months old.

the whole team is Maybe in love with your son

sorry. it's our son now. shiratorizawa owns ur kid :/

when shirabu is holding your boy. the whole team watches as semi get jealous????? over a kid that's NOT his???

hes petty and tells him that hes holding him wrong (hes not)

washijo is obsessed with ur baby. hes so proud of tendou. insisting that ur son being 'the size of a FAT volleyball' is a great sign for his skills in the court

the whole team. is offering money. they know u 2 are JUST out of highschool and with quarentine, are probably pretty low on cash??

BUT !! I 100% hc that tendou draws!! nd hes been doing a shit load of commissions for like. years LOL

n hes always saved that money!! he only spent it on shounen jump, which dont make too much of a dent in the money pile lol

besides he took emergency comms the second you guys found out ab the pregnancy

if you draw/write/do any work from home that's gets you money, then you do that too!!

he forces u to do less work than him tho because hes WORRIED AB U N THE BABY 🥺

but you guys appreciate the offers from your friends!!! Reon and Ushi's mom both volunteer to baby sit when you guys want a date night, thus ur child creating one hell of a friendship between the ex-captain and his vice's mothers 🥺

I'm not gonna go thru ALL the team members reactions

but they're all really happy!! ofc they scold tendou for not using protection and are MAJORLY GROSSED OUT KNOWING THAT THE TWO OF U HAVE INDEED HAD SEX

even tho the fact that satori is a Horny boy should be universal knowledge by now

the team is there for you guys while the baby grows up!! the second the kid can walk ushi is kneeling down and teaching him to spike

tendou is just as bad and insists that his son is a prodigy and should be a pro volleyball player already

LISTEN

TENDOUS SHIRATORIZAWA NUMBER??? HIS JERSEY

U GUYS GET A TINY VERSION OF THAT MADE

EVEN OF HE ISNT DOING VOLLEYBALL ANYMORE THIS MAN IS SO PROUD TO SEE HIS NUMBER ON HIS BOY 🥺🥺🥺👉🏻👈🏻

ur son is a mamas boy n it breaks tendous heart ngl

u make up for it by having a daughter a year or two down the line 😳 n shes OBSESSED with her dad it's cute but also BABY ur 4 please stop sleeping in mommy n daddies bed 🥺🥺🥺

also ur sons first words

oh boy

u can tell that the whole fuckin team has been teaching ur son volleyball stuff

u came home n ur son is sat in the living room SURROUNDED by ur (other) boys

ur (main) boy starts blubbing and bouncing at the sight of his mama 🥺 (or dada/other parent if ur an afab trans person!!!)

you tell off the team for tryna get ur baby into vball when hes barely 6months at this point

but before the boys all leave 🥺🥺 ur son grabs his favourite uncle semi and just goes

'sehtah!!!' (setter)

SEMI BREAKS DOWN CRYIBG LMAOOO

ngl tendou n u r kinda pissed that ur babies first words werent mama or dada. but then u see how happy semi is n u both just 🥺

semi is soft for your son and as the kid grows up hes still attached to him

he cant get away with being a brat though, boys got a whole mfing TEAM of dads/uncles PLUS grampy Washijo are ready to scold this boy

your son (and future daughter) are both SO loved though

theyve always got SOMEONE they know they can depend on

the team loves tendou and they love u, so OFC they ADORE any kids u guys have EVER.

they stay in contact with both of you even if you split up later on, they care enough about you guys that the y/n tendou powercouple is something every new generation of shiratorizawa volleyboys are taught about and introduced to

and YES ANON. WASHIJO DOES INSIST ON YOUR KID(S) GOIN SHIRATORIZAWA

they're guaranteed a spot!! they dont even have to work for it lmfaooo

mostly because coach threatens to leave the school and work with karasuno if they dont confirm them a place

it's an empty threat but it WORKS

the worldwide lockdown of 2020 is something you and tendou remember fondly forever 🥺

even if it was in bad circumstances the two of you made something so positive

this turned into general baby hcs with tendou MY BAD LOL IM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN AND ALSO CONSTANTLY GOING THRU BABY FEVER

john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one 

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments 

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest)  which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music 

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)

Hey Bitches! I basically squandered my time in HS/college because of fear and didnt get much volunteer work under my belt, sports, get certificates or club activity. What are things i can partake in after the fact that will look really good on resumes??

You know what grates my fucking cheese? How much we expect high school and college students to do in their out-of-school hours in order to have a “good resume.” You guys are at a formative period where your bodies and brains are going haywire, you’re just figuring out adult shit, you’re supposed to be dedicated to getting good grades, AND you’re expected to be president of Model UN and captain of the lacrosse team while holding down a part-time job and an internship. The expectations are ridiculous.

All of which is to say: you didn’t squander your time. You’re just expected to do a lot more than is reasonable, and you’ve internalized that expectation. More of us ranting on this topic:

High School Students Have No Way of Knowing What Career to Choose. Why Do We Make Them Do It Anyway? The Actually Helpful, Nuanced, Non-Bullshit Way to Choose a Future Career

At any rate, you’re out of college now, and you’re looking to beef up your resume. Here are some ways you can do that:

1. Get a job. Any job. Work experience is never bad, and it comes with the added benefit of, y’know, money. If you can hold down even a part time job while you’re searching for a full-time job, you’re doing just fine.

2. Volunteer with kids. Go to your local schools and ask if they need adult volunteers for various after school clubs and programs. I periodically volunteer at a local middle school. Some semesters they ask me to work with their remedial spellers who need extra help, some semesters they give me a room of their gifted writers and ask me to give them creative writing prompts. But they need volunteers to help with sports practice (just another adult around to hand out orange slices and help lace up soccer cleats is helpful), shelving in the library, chaperoning dances and field trips, etc. As long as you can pass a background check, schools LOVE having volunteers.

3. Volunteer with community programs. Food banks, libraries, animal shelters, rec centers, nursing homes---all need people to help out without expecting a pay check. Offer yourself up to a few programs you’re interested in and see what they say. 

4. Volunteer with outdoor groups. Most areas have local trail clubs and other groups that take it upon themselves to clean up outdoor areas and do trail maintenance during the summer months. I’m part of a local rock climbing community that cleans up high-use cliffs, posts signs about respecting wildlife and Leave No Trace, and enforces good etiquette among climbers. They always need volunteers.

5. Join a board. Some boards are pretty high stakes, electable positions. If your city is big enough, you’ll need to run for library board, for example. But some smaller nonprofits will add you to their boards just for the asking (and sometimes a regular donation). Find some nonprofits you care about and ask them how you can get involved, either as a volunteer or a board member, or starting as one and working your way up to the other. 

6. Publish your writing. Find a cause or subject you care about, find the inevitable blog, magazine, or newsletter for that cause or subject, and write them an op-ed. Then you can add a section to your resume entitled “Publications.” 

7. Join a club or start one. Book clubs, community theater, town bands, adult intramural sports... all of these count. Plus, wouldn’t you like to put “Founder: Bitches Get Riches weekly study group” on your resume? (Just kidding probably don’t do that.)

What say you, Bitch Nation? Anyone have ideas to add to this list? Kinda think I’ll end up turning this into an article at some point. 

Interview With Mr Wayne

Masterlist

You visit Bruce after inning your court case to celebrate but Bruce hashad a bad day and decides tocheer imself up with a little roleplay~

Warnings: Adult Situations 18+,Smut ,Teasing ,Fingering, Sir Kink?, Panty Kink?, Desk sex, Swearing!, Overstimulating

A/N: This has been sitting on my tablet for about eight nine weeks maybe more? Finally finished it. Just been so side tracked with my other stories. But here is some Bruce Wayne smut..I hope you like it xx

Taglist: @125bluemachine125​ @iloveyouyen​ @thefangirlsblog​ @itismineru​ @tinabean37​

You quickly ran through the lobby of the tower barely remembring to swipe your card against the reader, a new addition that Bruce had installed since nearly getting caught with you in the public elevator now you had a private elevator that lead you to the left of his office in a small concealed hall next to the toilet just behind Mary's desk and it needed a card to access it wasnt much but it was something, its not like you were ever going to convince Bruce to not have sex at work...It was like asking the man to stop being a smug little shit or like asking Tim to cut out caffeine it just wasn't going to happen. You came to a stop trying to bite back a squeal, you was happy so happy, your old boss had decided to settle out of court once all the evidence was put out for her to see some of which was going to be on her record for a long time. Tom had quit once he heard about what had happened and she had gone bust and couldn't afford to go to court already processing for bankruptcy. Tom is trying to buy it from her and was going through getting a loan from the bank. Bruce had said if they didn't aprove he would give Tom the money outright just to 'piss off that bitch'. You on the other hand didn't care about that instead you was pleased with the fact that you hadn't hid behind Bruce,you had done it alone... You had won by yourself well with the help of two of Bruce's lawyers..He wanted you to use them all but eight seemed a bit over the top,  either way you kept Bruce out of it. You wanted to prove that you could stand on your own two feet in some respects. Your aim was to make an example of her, to show that you are a force to be reckoned with in your own right and that just because you have been quiet up until now does not mean you'll let everyone walk over you, not anymore. You smiled in the elevator mirror pulling at your blazer shimmying your bra as the bones dug in to your ribs making you wince you'd gone dressed in a two piece pinstripe suit, smart high waisted straight cut pants the blazer had two rows of buttons giving what you called the 'old mafia' vibe and a dark plum almost black shirt stolen from Bruce's closet for...Reasons.  Your high heels echoed on the marble floor as you exited the elevator rounding the corner seeing Mary sitting there balancing a pen below her nose on her lip you giggled.  "Working had or hardily working?" She jumped dropping the pen on the desk turning to look at you and wolf whistled. "Well if I didn't know for definite that you were bobbing my bosses knob I'd try to peel that suit of you and have a taste myself you look delicious!" You rolled your eyes used to the womans not so subtle flirting. "If I ever get curious I will give you a call" she giggled at your monotone reply licking her lips "Promises promise's~" you huffed at her shaking your head then nodded to the full board room Bruce sitting at the head of the table looking just about done with their shit. His shoulders were tense and squared as one little man raised his voice across at him. You licked your lips taking your bottom one into your mouth biting it as Bruce held his gaze steady and smiled making the other one sit his scrawny as back down.  Fuck yes, you loved boss Bruce, and Batman Bruce and Alpha Bruce fuck any Bruce...But Boss Bruce got you going like nothing else, you almost whined seeing him work, a stern gaze across the table daring them to challenge him further. Oh god you just wanted to walk in and fuck him there and then, let the others see him fuck the life out of you. You sucked on your bottom lip again trying to fight back a pitiful whine. So public sex may have become a kink since your little holiday...You'd both been caught fucking on the beach by one of the staff Bruce hired to take care of the house and when he hadn't stopped just kept rutting into you faster knowing they were stealing glances, the way his voice dropped teasing you about having an audience how he wanted you to give them a show. Ugh. It had made you cum so hard you passed out for a few seconds and when you woke he was still at it albeit slower and biting off chuckles away as you flushing so fast you became dizzy below him. "You need a drink your looking thirsty there" you snapped yourself out of your thoughts and glared playfully at the woman as she got up walking to the small corridor you'd came from, not only did it hide the new elevator and toilet but also a small kitchenette. You sighed following her taking one last glance as Bruce pointed sterny at a few of the men you could only imagine how deep his voice had gotten you shivered. "Come on before you leave a puddle! They have only just polished this shit...And I don't feel like trying to find a 'caution wet floor' sign" you groaned at her. She hopped up on to the counter waiting for the kettle to boil. You moved to lean against it placeing down Your bag and the folder holdjng your settlement details you'd brought with you to show Bruce. "Sooo where did you go off to back there? It looked...fun" you smiled at her blushing. "Just thinking of our holiday was all...We experimented, seeing him in there just reminded me" she moved adding sugar to two cups snorting at you before nudging you playfully. "Oo kinky tell me more~"  "I dont kiss and tell Im afraid...Not sober anyway" she snorted at that then waved a hand at you. "Kiss and tell? psh like all you did was kiss...So no details?, not one tiny little ounce of Juicey gossip? come ooonnn!" you shook your head at her with a grin and she pouted "Oh boo! your just like him no fun at all! , I tried getting details out of Bruce and he just went red and shy...SHY! I didn't know he could do shy... So what ever you did Mama me next? please and thank you" you flushed at her laughing her off as she handed you your tea wrigglingnher eyesbrows. You both sat in comfortable silence for a few moments sippingnyour drinks. "Soo? Did you top him?" You choked spitting your tea back into the cup coughing and then turned to her gaping like a fish. "Where did?-did he tell you?" Her face lit up and she giggled around a whispered 'HO-LY SHIT!' "Oh my fuck you did! Get it girl! You teach that big boss man! You make him eat the peach?" You blushed and stam,ered tryjng to find the words to get out of this one. "Oh fuck shit look seriously dont tell anyone he'd never forgive me if that got out!" "Oh honey no! I'd never!...But no he didn't tell me I guessed, you know he did go shy so...Must have been somthing new...But kudos to giving him a taste of girl power..Enjoy yourself atleast" "Oh...well yes I was surprised I managed to pull it off..I mean Bruce is big and strong and I wasn't exactly sure the cuffs would hold when he realised what I did he got smug teasing me...Then mad when he realized I wasnt fucking around-" she squealed and bounced on the spot "Shit!? You just sprung cuffs on him?! wow Mama you got a set of balls!...Bet you paid for it" you chuckled sipping your tea. "Well.. He got his pay back...The man has more stamina then I give him credit for..." she snorted nodding shaking her head dropping to conversation seeing you were uncomfortable. You shifted before speaking up again. "So how long has he been in there for?" She peered around the side into the hall that had a veiw of the clock. "Bout three hours...They are opening a new office in central city which Bruce is fine with, it will make a few things easier...But the board want to place one of their sons as the branch manager, Bruce said no. This kid has only been here for two years and hasn't got a single promotion or anything! He isn't really any good at his job ,he only got the job by pulling strings. Bruce wants to promote someone who deserves it not hand it over to some fucking daddies boy...But true to form this guy started going ahead anyway, telling the others that Bruce agreed apparently, daddy promised this little shit the job...This tit doesn't know it yet but Bruce is about to fire him his son and two other board members for this little drama." You frowned at her "He can do that? I thought only the share holders or some shit could sack someone that high up?" She gave you a look and blinked slowly. "Honey your man is the main shareholder...He owns like ninety percent of the company....Thats why his name is on the building...On that note lets head back I wanna see this...You probably will to just remember no puddles~" you moved to swipe at her playfully as she scampered away down the hall laughing you followed snatching up your folder holding the documents of your settlement in your hands.

You turned the corner you heard raised voices and saw Bruce sitting leaning back arms crossed his head was tilted and he looked pleased with himself as the three older men and one young sprog was stangding before him each in various emotional states.  The oldest one was shouting at Bruce with animated hand gestures towards himself and the young man; you assumed he was the father and son. The young man was more panicked then anything you could see from here he didnt want to be there, he wanted his father to shut up and to leave.  You turned your attention  to the other two middle aged men around Bruce's own age both had seemed to accept what ever had just happened. Bruce moved forward sitting staight then pointed to them saying something else making everyone in the room flinch then he leaned back holding his hands out at his sides then nodded to the door. You froze as Bruce saw you and smiled at you for a second, your view was interrupted as the now unemployed men tried storming past the desk. "Err excuse me gentlemen? I'm afraid you will need to hand in your company id's and passes..." the eldest swore and clambered over to the desk, you moved to the side with your tea and sipped it slowly. Letting the irate man pull his wallet from his pocket tearing the cards out and slammed them down then he turned to his son who handed in his id sheepishly then they both left quickly with one last snarl to Bruce through the glass. You released a breath when all four men were in the elevator and out of sight. "I always hated that man, rude and pig headed...He is elitist...Which is pretty ironic when you realise he was raised by working class parents." You snorted at her then turned to the board room as Bruce said something that looked like a threat well if the reactions were anything to go by. Then he dismissed the remaining men with a wave of his hand. Before any of them were out he had already signaled you to enter the room. You moved picking up your cup and folder then circled Mary's desk. "Ooo the board room today? I shall put the cleaners on sandby" You flipped her the bird as she laughed out loud "Fuck you Mary" you called over your shoulder walking towards the door. "If only you would my love~" you giggled  at her shaking your head. You bit your lip watching as the men leaving the room all but jumped out of your way, not wanting to risk any contact with you especially when Bruce was watching them like a hawk....And in what they precived as a bad mood. The last man held the door open for you as you entered you nodded to him. "Thank you" he stuttered flushing as you smiled  "Y-your welcome" he quickly left the room almost tripping over his feet as Bruce's gaze scalded his back.

You walked forward towards him as he spun his chair to face you a devious smirk on his face man spreading with his hands resting just above his crotch. "Well what do we have here?..Heels? Pantsuit? And no doubt that folder's holding the little ladies resumé..." you squinted at him playfully and recived a wink in return. So thats how he wants to play it today?. You smiled you'd play along. You moved standing taller. Prouder.  "Of course Mr Wayne...Would you like a peek?" Your words rolled off the tongue in a sultry voice full of promise. He moved holding out a hand for you to place the folder in it. "Only if your offering Mrs?" "Miss Cooke with an E and if I wasn't offering I wouldn't be here I assure you" he chuckled a deep smug sound that made your knees quiver slighltly as you played along with him. He hummed flicking open the folder scanning the documents. Your heart sped up as his smirk got wider and wider untill he was grinning like a cheshire cat. "Very impressive...Your Boyfriend must be proud of you  for such an acomplishment" you giggled taking a step closer to him. "I'd like to think so Mr Wayne" you grinned yourself as you saw him stiffen at you calling him his title. He quickly flipped the folder closed and let hit fall onto the huge table with a slap. "I would say most definetly...I wonder what he would think? you being here at my disposal?" you sucked through your teeth. "Well he is a man in uniform, bit of a brute at times but there are ways to placate him, I'm sure I can persuade him ~ if I think the reward is great enough" he chuckled shaking his head and gave a lopsided grin before speaking in a gravley tone low and tempting. "Oh I assures you miss Cooke it will be worth it~" you moved forward leaning on the table infront of him hands gripping the sides and leaned down bending at the waist holding his gaze before trailing down to his crotch then back up smirking. "Ha! come now Mr Wayne...There are certain things we both know money can't buy~" he moved forward to capture your lips but you dodged him swiftly. He growled and leaned back taking a quick glance to the door seeing Mary had gone...The elevator light red signaling noone was going to reach this floor until he reactivated it, a very good investment if he did say so himself!.  He turned to you smirking knowing just how this will play out. He moved a hand capruting your bottom lip with his thumb you licked at him making him humm, then you pulled it into your mouth watching him closely as you wrapped your tongue around him lapping and massaging it he smirked and pressed down lightly making you moan and suck harshly. "..So a sharp tongue...Not to sharp, you mouth will come in handy" you hummed a a small giggle around his digit and bit lightly running your teeth over him as he withdrew you winked at him playfully smaking your lips at him. He rolled his eye before snapping back into 'boss mode' crossing his arms over his chest leaning into the plush leather chair rolling it back a foot or so, taking his time to drink in the sight of you. Leaning back on the table he was about to make a mess of~ the pant suit definitely accentuated your curves the top button of the jacket fighting to contain your breasts he knew were being held high by a balcony bra just below...  He grunted raising in his seat trying to catch a peek of the deep cleavage the bra produced but nope...Nothing the shirt you wore was large and fit snugly but sadly there were none of the dreaded button gaps for him you use as his own private little peep show. "I can see you have the skills for the most part...However there are some...Personal aspects to the position I can't have just anybody as my assistant, they have to have a drive...A willingness  to do anything it takes to get the job done...Tell me Miss Cooke could you see yourself going the distance....The whole nine yards so to speak?" You snorted at him and tried swollowing a chuckle...You tired to hold it in but you couldn't. He smiled dropping his roleplay for a second shaking his head at you but quickly you found your composure and stood straight. "I think nine is pushing it~" he frowned at you playfully and crooked a finger with a sly look.  "Oh really what ever happened to 'oh Bruce its in my tummy~'" you gasped horrified as he tried mimicking a high moan...You have never said that!....Well you don't think you had to be honest when your fucking him you never really know what's coming out of your mouth... "YOU?! I have never said that....Have I?" He through his head back laughing loud echoing through the large empty space. "No but you've thought it~ I can tell...Either way my sweet little woman why don't we see if its possible~ see if you can back up those words" you shook your head blushing it was completely possible youd screamed that out at him. And the idea you could have shamed and aroused you. "...I'm sure I could handle anything your dishing out Mr Wayne." He groaned moving his hands away from his stomach reajusting himself tugging his belt. You flushed when his hand rose quickly pulling your shirt from your pants he chuckled seeing how far it fell... It was definitely one of his, that would be why there was no tugging on the buttons you smiled shyly. "Your Boyfriends?" And just like that the game was back on track. You moved twiddling the lower buttons of the shirt a little embarassed about stealing it this morning. "W-well Mr Wayne today was a big day...Its intimidating coming here, standing on my own two feet...His scent calms me down I feel safe" he smiled softly before slowly popping the buttons on the suit jacket  pulling it off and letting it fall to the floor behind you he burst out laughing as the sleeves of his shirt fell down a good few inches over your hands as the jacket wasnt holding them up and longer. "Hey! Don't laugh at me!" He moved forward kissing you softly. "Sorry sweets...You just look so cute!" You pouted as he ran his hands across you slowly pulling the shirt up snaking a hand the the side zipper of the trousers and with a quick flick of his wrist the heavy fabric fell to the floor with a soft thump.

He moved back taking a moment to admire you standing in just his shirt and underwear before him. It looked like a dress how you smoothly tucked it in, he didnt have a clue he groand and bit his lip then moved. He rolled the chair back towards you and pressed you to sit on the table. You half expected him to slip his hands under your ass and drag down your panties but he didn't. He pushed both feet to rest on the egde of the table forcing you to lean back and catch yourself on your hands. "Bruce?" His eyes flicked up to your uncertain gaze he just grinned wickedly and winked at you. "Hold still Miss Cooke~" and with that he moved his hands from the bottom of your legs, running his fingertips along your calfs making you shiver as he formed goosebumps on the skin, your breath hitched when he continued dragging them along your soft thighs down towards your center. Your pussy clenched and you moaned softly almost trying to rock towards him but you held back not moving you didnt' was to fall off the table. You flushed heart racing and your pussy wept onto the cotton making you whine knowing it wouldn't be long befor he noticed. Bruce chuckled at your little whines and soft pants as he bypassed your center and cupped the top of your thighs moving to your hips rubbing slow warm circles before retracing his movements coming back to the soft pudgy thighs then up. He moved again skipping your hot wanting center and began undoing the buttons of his shirt that was draped over you stoping just under your bust and flicking it behinde you pulling it from under your ass roughly causing you to squeak as your heated skin hit the cool pollished wood. He chuckled and moved his hand cupping your throbbing center teasing the wet hole with a firm rub of his fingers squeazing you and circling the damp patch on your undies prodding shallow teasing thrusts. You through your head back and moaned as his hand continued rolling and rubbing the flexing muscles, it was incredible each and every time this man touched you but there something about him groping you through the layers of your clothes...Something taboo about being made to mess your underwear ,drenching them through.  He moved flexing his strong hand squeezing your cunt. In a delicious possessive fashion. You grunted and rocked towards him the friction of your panties rubbing your clit, the warmth of his hand adding to the sensations. Your body was hot already the anticipation of things to come making you pants and breaths hitch his flicking and playing with your growing arousal smearing the small flood with his fingers dragging it across the gusset of your panties in deliberate strokes. "Ive never made you mess your panties before~ would you like that? For me to make you cum? Make you soak them through?" You bit your lip closing your eyes and gyrated your hips against him trying to chase an orgasm that was building far to slowly for your liking. You nodded clenching your fists into his shirt whining as the very first trembles began and you began hearing the your wetness againt his hand on the thin material. "Oh? You like that idea baby? For me to force you to cum? Force you to gush inside these cute little panties all over the table? The table where all the important meetings are held? Let your cum stain the wood right here? Right were I sit and work?" You nodded quickly gasping as his hot palm pulled back, you didn't have a chance to whine as he lifted it and gave a cupped plam slap to your whole wet center. The sharp slap made you jump rocking into him with a gruntal moan. He chuckled again then slapped quicker making you tremble. "FUCK! BRU-bruce! AH SH-IT PLEASE-please fuck please  more~" he chuckled moving his other hand around your throat and squeezed just enough to make your breathes deeper. And slapped your pussy harder making it sting. You cried out nevertheless in lewd moans curling forward each slap left a sting that added to the warm hum of you nerves, insides protesting to being empty as they coiled and tensed. There was a knot deep inside that was pulled tighter and tighter with each movement he made mastering your insides without even touching them. A skill you hadn't truly accepted until now as he toyed with you. "Now now~ is that anyway to call out for your new boss, you should ask nicely.?.Be polite" you shook your head as he slapped again this time keeping it there and rubbed harsher and faster then before concentrating on your erect bud that pressed on the cotton. You bucked one foot slipping but bruce was quick leaning a knee on the table taking the weight of the foot keeping you open and still with a chuckle. He watched as tears began falling from your eyes...You were close so close he could tell. He tipped his hand rubbing the heel of his palm to your clit rubbing violently curling his fingers digging them over your hole pressing harder on the sensitive petals just below. "FuckFUCFUCK NOOO-I'M SORRY SIR! PLEASE MR WAYNE UGHAH AH oh-oh shit plea-please Mr Wayne please sir!" He smiled pressing his hand flat then began patting you quickly making you moan loudly. You closed your eyes pushing your hips towards him crying out as he sped up. Each well placed pat sent tremors up and down your spine you withered, legs tensing and untensing as you tried tochase the high. Your pussy grew warmer and yout breathes sharp. The tell tale signs of an impending orgasm that had crept up on you. "AH-FUCK PLE-PLEASE SIR PLEASE-MR WAYNE UGH-FUUUUGH SHIT PLEASE PLEASE MR WAYNE PLEEAASE!" He smirked and moved faster alternating his rubs and flicks with varying slaps and pinched your body tensed and arched painfully as you crieds out as he drove you higher and higher. "Thats it baby~.....Fuck you look so gorgeous, fucking incredible...Cum! I want you to cum inside those little panties all over my desk baby....Thats it all over Mr Waynes spot~ Good girl!" You choked out moans and grunts your body was shivering and your lust boiled in your tummy and finally with one final harsh wet slap you came loudly throwing yourself back at the force. Bruce barely captured you to soften your fall gently placing you to lie back on the desk ass only just on it. You cried out gyrating against Bruces still patting hand closing your eyes as your body let go falling over the edge of ecstasy. Your mind was blank...Black and there was nothing but the hot wave the full body rush that completely wiped you out leaving you very messy and satisfied.

You laid there panting looking to the ceiling with blurry eyes,you were crying softly and you was sure why. You felt the aftermath your body loose and trembling. You could faintly hear Bruces chuckles in the back ground over your harsh panting. "And that my love is how to cum hard...Shit what even set that one off?" He asked but you just hummed reaching out for him he chuckled and moved closer tugging you down the table, ass just hanging off the edge. You tilted your head up warily eyeing him and sighed flopping back down seeing him loosening his belt with one hand. The next thing you knew he had stepped between your spread thighs smooting his palms over them massaging the still trembling muscles. "Got you good huh babe?" You grunted which resulted in a kiss on your stomach from him. You frowned when he moved closer to line himself up. "Bruce I've got my-" he looked up at you winking and gave a cheeky smile hooking fingers in the side of our gusset. "I know...Wanna fuck with them on for a change...Got a thin for panties at the mineut" you flushed turning your head to the side watching his hands as theymoved to hold you. You were still far to exhausted to move. He just smiled and watched as he hooked the panties to the side. The way they moved made your pussy look plump and fucking perfect! As much as he wanted to feast on the perfectly smooth peach he had other matters to attend.

Bruce grunted letting the crown of his cock brush the wet silken folds, he almost loved this more then fucking you. The intimacy of him just ghosting your body, teasing you with his own cock watching as your tiny body swallowed him. He shuddered and dipped down finding the luxurious slit. Without wasting time he plowed into you. You grunted as he entered you pressing fast and hard you felt as your walls gave way, molding to his girth like always. You'd never get enough! This man was so incredibly intoxicating it was unreal. You moan high as he moved forward putting his weight on his cock he throbbed inside of you, the thick veins almost acting as a pulsing vibrator humming against your still tender nerves ignighting them all over again. He grunted pressing his balls to your pelvis then pulled back only to ram harder. You screeched moving your hands to his wrists as he place his heavy palms on your hips and began tugging you towards him. Soon he found his rhythm a fast unrelenting pace driven by his own impending release. You whined and melwed at ever push and pull his cock was spearin into you, massaging your g spot maing you see stars then finishingneach thrust at your cervix. The almost unbearable mix of pleasure and pain was to much and you screamed throwing your head back and forth spurred on by his growls as his voice got lost. Feral sounds come from him vibrating the air around you as he pounded away determined.

Your body was screaming, it wanted release, it wanted more..And it wanted to rest you trembled knees knocking against his pistoning hips as your insides clutched at him sucking him tighter and tighter then without warning you fell again. This time was much more intense your whole body locked almost cramping and tremblingat thesametime, you couldnt move, or speak you just looked up wide eyed as waves of ecstasy rolled over you. Bruce through his head back with a victorious shout you vaguely felt his balls rise and tighten against you ass then he released inside of you grunting and rutting as he caem drawing it out as mich as he could then finally came to a halt and fell over you.

You panted weeping quietly moving to wipe your face and press our hair back. He arched over you kissing you slow a sensually no tongues nothing lewd just open mouthed kisses pouring his love into you in the best way he knew how. He pulled back looking to you then laughed. "Wow...That was better then I imagined" you nodded agreeing with him and pushed him back. "Babe...My panties are hurting me can you?" He jumped back quickly swiftly removjn him self and tucked himself away whilst pulling your panties back over our center. He patted our mound casually making you jolt and whine. "Bruuuce! No its sensitive!" He smiled eyeing your pussy, even through the wet material he could still tell it was a very happy freshy fucking little pussy! Swollen and pink! Just how he liked it. He moved pulling your trousers to your ankles chuckling. "Two...Three at once!" You frowned for a second then your face dropped...The list. You rolled your eyes and sat up leaning on unsteady arms and watched as he rolled up the trousers pulling then up to your knees. "Okay what were they?" He smiled slyly and hooked an arm around your waist sliding you off the table onto your feet. You staggered in the heels and grabbed his shoulders as he settled your weight onto his chest pulling the trousers up over your ass and zipped them up. "Board room, cum in your panties and fuck you in your fuck me heels! Three down in one hit!" You chuckled up at him as he explained smugly he was definitely proud of this one. You turned faceing the now desecrated table and flinched. Now that was a fucking mess! You turned glaring at him motioning a hand to the puddle. "Bruce -I you? Fuck it you don't care do you?...Nope didn't think so...Fuck my legs are still like jelly!" He grinned and wriggled his eyebrows at you. "Sooo you wont get very far if I said I'm ready for round two?~" you gaped at him instantly looking to his crotch he laughed waving you off. "Not really sweets...Lets go home, we could test out the jets in the bath, its supposed to give you a 'real massage experience'" you frowned at him as he scooped ou up swiping your bag and court settlement the  began leaving the room walking down to the private elevator. "Jets? We had jets in the bath since when?" He flushed as he entered the elevator pressing the garage level. "Since this afternoon...I had a new let spa bath tub fitted in our suite...Damien caught us in the hot tub and yeah-" you blinked not following for a few seconds then clicked.

"HE FUCKING WHAT!? WHEN DID HE-oh my god thats what you were freaked out about!? Oh no oh god he was me-did he see me? Please tell me he didnt?!" Bruce smiled cutely walking out of the elevatore to the car it was the lamboghini again today. "No he didnt see you I covered you but...I figured it wouldnt happen if we had somewhere else with jets so new bath" you sighed nodding as he placed you down by the car then tugged at the folder. "I'm proud of you for this, so very proud you stuck to your guns and you did it alone..You've proved with this that you're not a push over , that your a strong woman .A very very stong independent woman and I am so happy for you, but most of all I'm proud that I get to call you mine!" You smiled cupping his cheek and moved in kissing him softly. "Thank you Bruce, I want to show everyone that...That I may now be considered a kept woman...But I can fight for myself, protect myself when I need to and I'm glad you let me do that you don't know how much it means for you to let me do that" he through his head back laughing loud, you didnt understand you almost felt insulted until he calmed down and cupped your head in both his hands. "I don't let you do anything love! You can do what ever you want...Fucking let you stick up for yourself? Your free to do what ever you want...You want a business? I'll get you a bussines , you want to travel? we will! I'd do anything for you I love you...Outside of the bed you are my fucking queen, but inside the sheet? Your my very own pillow princess-OUCH! FUCK SWEETS?" You swooned he could have asked for anything then and there and youd have said yes...Until the pillow princess  comment. "I'm not a pillow princess! You-just your? UGH! STOP BEING SO FUCKING GOOD AND I'D BE ABLE TO THINK! AND POSSIBLY MOVE!" he laughed ou off opening the passenger side door motioning for you to get in. You rolled your eyes and they say chivalry is dead? Once seated the smiled to yourself. That was probably the most romantic thing he'd said and he had to ruin it with his typiclal bruce smug bull shit...But then again that was your Bruce. He slid into the drivers side.and you leaned over. "Hey babe?" He glanced at you as he turned the ignition reving the car to life.

"Yes my love?"

"You said anything right?" You twiddled your fingers and then move your hand to his thigh as the car began moving.

"Yes sweets anything"

"Teach me to drive-" he squinted nodding agreeing instantly as he pulled out ontothe road. "This thing" he snapped his gaze to you. What? His precious heart,  his beautiful little lover, sweet girlfriend behind the wheel of a seriously powerfull supercar? His heart almost stopped at the idea. "Are-are you sure? Its a powerful car...Don’t you want me to get you something err less-" "No I love this car its the first one you drove me around in...I want to drive it Bruce" he looked to you casually and pulled out tothe main road slowly cursing himself. He was going to refuse on the grounds of your own safty but, one look at your puppydog eyes and that was it you clapped cutely with a small 'yay'... one thing was for sure before you got behinde the wheel there was going to be some serious automatic breaking sensors put on...and a fucking speed limiter....and bullet proof windows and panels....Maybe some traker devices to...Like the one in your bracelet. "Babe I can here you thinking...Its just a car love don't...Don't go 'batting' it out okay?" Bruce didn't look at you as he drove on just a vaguely familiar hmm that meant he was pretending to agree with you...Or not listening one of the two his hmm's are all very similar. 

Android Shinsou x female reader Smut!

Notes: Hitting you with that dirty game first babes! Ill try my best to make a Gender neutral reader for it I swear.

Warnings: Smut, pet names, yandere-ish themes, slight aphrodisiac.

Your experiment, one you had been working on since your first year of college. Your pride, and joy. The one thing you cared about as much as your animals.

The very thing you devoted your soul to.

Your android.

Yeah you'd made one, or two, or uhh... Seventeen award winning ones, and twenty nominated ones. This one was different though.

You never really were able to get a partner. (You never looked.) You didnt know why.

(You Never Looked.)

So... you made a robot that would love you just as much as you loved it. Because appearently you didnt appeal to anyones tastes anyway.

(For the love of god, the huminoid sonic had been trying at you since pre-k!)

It was the moment of truth.

You tested his chips, his circuts, the endoskeleton. You ran his programming through a computer for days to make sure it was correct.

You beamed with delight. Your smile illuminating your flat.

"This is it!" You said, flipping your head over to stare at your Bulldog, Steve on the couch. "Soon you'll have a buddy to play with all day!" The American wagged his tail in a chill manner before lying his head back down.

"3...," You whispered to yourself. Flipping the switch on the back of his neck to boot him up.

"2...," You said louder this time, leaning into your computer, and running a safe check on his files.

"....1." You said in an awestruck tone as the pop up button showed on your screen. You clicked it.

Hurriedly you skipped over to your creation, giddily jumping up, and down.

Soft whooses, and buzzes thrumed in his ribcage. His skeleton moved into place visibly. His artifical skin heated, warming your freezing hand.

'Yes..'

The yellow light turned on.

"Yes."

It slowly changed to Green, then started blinking rapidly, starting his actual systems. Air seemed to spin in the room to fit your excitement. Beeps from deep within him cued your reactions. Your eyes glittered with glee, and tears pricked your eyes. His body moved slowly a bit.

"YES!" You happily grabbed his hands shaking them a bit.

"Open your eyes sleepy head!"

A breath came from him.

You drew yours in.

He didnt respond.

"Come on hun, lets get at it!"

... This is worrying.

"Shinsou, on." You said, trying to verbally aid his process.

And for a second.

It seemed to work.

For one second.

It never actually did.

Your heart shattered, tears immediently trekked down your face. Hitched breaths wrecked your body, as you dried to calm down. Trying to swallow the coil in your throat.

You sat inside your house for a few days.

Religiously trying your process.

And each failed attempt ended in more tears.

Each ended in another heartbreak.

It sent you spiraling.

And each day you spiraled further. Further into a pit of resentment to the peice of junk that ruined countless oppourtunities for relationships.

For jobs.

For sleep,

health,

money,

family.

You resented the scent of lavender, and blackberry that came off of him each night. The scent that would drive you wild.

Cause you to touch yourself each night.

Each night.

On the couch facing him.

After you finished you always felt violated.

You couldnt stay at your flat any longer.

You spent two weeks at Tenya Iidas. It was the best two weeks of your life. You actually felt terrible leaving.

The second you entered your house you noticed something was up.

There was a linear pattern of lavender lights leading into the hallway.

The smell of Lavender, and Blackberries were gone.

There was a silhouette sitting at the bottom of your stairs.

The shape sent an immediate rush of fear into your heart, and you whimpered stepping back towards the door. The figures eyes opened slowly revealing beautiful, glowing, purple orbs.

Strangely enough this sent even more fear through your body. You had programmed your android to protect you after all.

"What. The. Fuck. Type of stunt do you think you just pulled Kitten?" His voice was laced with venom, a warning had you ever heard one.

"I- I wha?"

"Dont act fucking stupid with me!" He shouted, springing up from his spot at the base of the stairs in incredible speed.

"You smell just like him."

You paniked, pressing your back against the door as he advanced to you. The scent coming back stronger than ever this time. Your knees buckled, and you fell to the floor, hand grasping then knob.

"Oh, Kitten, I didnt mean to scare you." He said in a mocking tone. "Come here~" Your body moved on its own. Pressing flush against him. Arms encasing his neck, nose nuzziling into him.

"Thats really sweet of you, ya know?" He asked in a vauge manner. He pushed you away slightly so he could get a better loom at you. "You didnt become a slutty little bitch when you went to that cucks house. My Kitten stayed heated only for her Master~"

Your eyes widened in fear, then in realisation. You huffed slightly. Pressing your now, warm, nose against his neck.

'Of course, you programmed him with those sensors idiot.' You mentally kicked yourself.

"Were you on the entire time?" You asked pulling away from him glaring slightly at your masterpiece. Watching as his pupils geared to aim towards a spot in the corner of his eyes. His lips stuck out in a playful pout before he smirked.

"May-be." He said misheviously. You gasped, and punched his chest lightly, to which he chuckled.

"You asshole, why?"

'Ah, so loud!'

"I thought you looked cute mad~" It was your turn to pout a bit. 'This sadist.'

"So kitten," Shinsou said leaning in, "Tell me," Your mind went blank from the scent that he emmitted, "Do you wanna play a bit?"

You nodded quickly, staring at the man above you.

His eyes flickered for a second.

Lavender to Ruby.

A glitch?

You didnt think it was too problematic, a minor color glitch. Nothing too serious.

Im so sorry my friend.

He smirked, picking you up by the hips, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He kissed you deeply, his warm lips unexpected especially for him. He immediately pressed his tounge past your lips. Turning your head so you could get better leverage. You squeaked in suprise, and slight discomfort. Bringing a hand to his shoulder, and the back of his head for stability.

He presesed you against the wall behing you, one hand at the small of your back, pressing you up to him. The other left your hip, trailing up to your breasts, then slipping his hand into your pants.

You gasped in surprise, trying to break from the kiss, instead he deepened it. You moaned slightly into his mouth, causing him to groan deeply. He wrapped his tounge over yours, nearly chocking you in passion.

Your eyes were practically screwed shut from intensity. The two tendrils slid over each other, collecting the essence upon each other.

Shinsou slid his finger into your sopping cunt. Pushing upwards in a quick pace.

You openly gasped at the intense sensation. Youd never inserted anything inside before.

You threw your head back, neck bare to the machine in front of you. He added another finger, heading right for your neck afterwards. He nipped and bit as he pumped his fingers at a rhythimic pace. He felt your hands curl at his head, and he looked back up at your soft, lewd expression.

Drool fell in thin rivuletts down your chin. Your eyes tolled the back of your head. Heated cheeks adding to your beautiful expression.

It seemed as if the world stopped for a second, Shinsou felt real. He hadn't realised his fingers sped up until he heard your delectable moans gettting louder.

"Ngh- Ahah! Shi- shinsou, so clooose ahahh!"

You whined in pleasure squirming on his fingers. He wasnt going to let this opportunity go to waste.

He heaved lowered your bodies quickly so he was face level with your cunt, then without taking his fingers out he started to devour your pussy. He sucked against your clit, then dipped his long tounge deep inside you.

You flinched at the warm sensation entering your hole. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head, in pure bliss.

Your moans shook the windows behind you. And Shinsou?

Shinsou was dining like a king. Your essense dribbled down his chin, making his sensotove nerves go haywire. He twisted, and turned his tounge around inside you, pulling it out occasionally to press a kiss to your clit. Everytime he did that he sped up.

You felt it wriggling inside you, pressing at your walls demanding you to come.

His artifical scent grew stronger as you came closer to your finish. You wailed, pulling at Shinsou soft locks.

"Are you gonna cum kitten?" He said, voice muffled by your pussy. He nuzzled your clit with the top of his nose, forcing a drawn out moan from you. "Kitty cat, Imma count to three for you okay?" His voice again sent vibrations to your hole.

You ground your hips into his mouth, causing his movements to stutter a bit, before he gained a new pace.

"Three, two... mmph, now kitten!"

The coil inside you snapped hard. Your jucies sprayed all over his face, and partiality on his chest.

He stared at you in awe, seeing your pussy absoulutely soaked. Some dribbled on his hands. His eyes resumed their glowing state as he flipped you over.

He leaned over you on the floor, bending down to whisper in your ear.

"Im going to fuck you so hard kitty, Im going to fuck you until I am the only man you'll ever wanna see."

You moaned in anticipation.

"Wait, please be gentle, its my first time."

He just smirked softly, placing a soft kiss to your neck. He slowly slid his member in, the muscle massaging your slick walls. Hitting every pleasurable nerve on its journey. Your brain blanked.

He didnt bother going slow after that immediently blasting into your hole. Large hands grasping tightly onto your hips. Thrusts shaking your entire body.

It carried on this way for what seemed like ages. Him thrusting into you at unimaginable speeds that sent your body into a tizzy.

When you finally came you fell from heaven, and landed into the fiery pleasure of hell. Warmth left, and entered you at the same time. A moan leaving your twitching mouth, drool escaping in tandum.

Shinsou pulled out. Marveling the sight, and oicking your limp body off the floor. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead.

"Dont worry bout a thing kitten," He said when you felt yourself asending the stairs, and you looked up slighlty. "Ive got you."

ge entered your room, and layed you down slowly.

"I love you Shinsou."

"Love you to kitten, now let me go get my charger, and Ill be right back."