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babyjamiebarnes · 3 years

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Build-A-Bear

Part Four

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, various characters in other chapters

Warnings: language, making out

Chapter Summary: You go on a short trip to Massachusetts to see Peter, Bucky takes you on a second date, someone gets caught doing something they shouldn’t.

Author’s Note: This was going to be a filler but it has a decent amount of necessary plot and progression. The next part will have a time jump so I don’t have to include a bunch of filler chapters, blehk. Let me know if you see my Avatar: The Last Airbender reference in here! And as always, you’re welcome to send me a coffee!

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Tags: @kennedywxlsh @ursmolbunny @devilswaldorf

By the time Monday rolled around, you were thankful Bucky had training in the morning or you would’ve never gone to sleep. Most of the deeper subjects had been touched on when you were together on Saturday, so Sunday was just texting more playful banter and fun facts you hadn’t learned during your lab hangouts, but you two still talked until your phone was propped up on your pillow waiting for another message while you drifted in and out of sleep.

Bucky had sent you a sweet “good morning, doll” text for you to wake up to, but you didn’t talk much before you had to head to work and he had to work out with Steve. That’s the downside to waking up with just enough time to get ready. Not much wiggle room for distractions, no matter how delicious.

You had barely settled in to your workspace, specs for Sam’s wings pulled up in front of you, when you had a request for a FaceTime call from Peter, of all people. You hadn’t seen him in a few weeks since he went back to campus, but he was set to come back soon for a weekend.

“Hey Peter, what’s up?” you answered.

“Hey [Y/N]! I, uh, I kind of have a big favor to ask,” he said with a forced chuckle.

“Oh… okay? What’s going on?”

“Well, you remember that project you wanted my help on?” You nodded. “Well I talked to my professor about it and he said I can use it as my final project for this semester as long as you come to the proposal and document what you did on it so I don’t take credit for any of your work. If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine! I can probably work on another project, I just don’t want to put your project off and make you wait for me to finish my part —“

“Peter!” you shouted, cutting off his rambling with a laugh. “I think that sounds great. It’ll be nice for you to kill two birds with one stone. When would I need to be there?”

“Uhh,” he started with another forced laugh. “My proposal is Wednesday.”

You stared at the screen, motionless at his response. “Wednesday. Like, two days from now, Wednesday?” Peter nodded. You could practically see him sweating through the phone, worrying about whether or not he should’ve asked his professor sooner or just completely avoided the subject entirely. But you knew he probably didn’t have much heads-up and considered using your project a little late in the game. “It’s a good thing I like you, kid. Let me double check with the boss but I’m sure that’ll be fine.”

“Yes! You’re the best!” Peter cheered.

“I’ll text you when my flight leaves because there’s no way I’m driving ten hours.”

You and Peter briefly went over how things would work, from what you should wear to whether you’d be getting a hotel room or bunking on his futon. While you were talking, you emailed your dad about the trip and got a quick approval. Tony liked Peter, and you understood why. He reminded you of your father if your dad had a stutter instead of an ego.

Mid-afternoon, when you took your second 20-minute break of the day just to let your brain relax, there was a soft tap on the door of your lab before Bucky poked his head in. He stepped in and looked around the whole room frantically before he noticed you curled up under a blanket on the giant bean bag chair you shoved into the corner once Peter left. You liked being able to take your breaks in the quiet of the lab so your brain could actually shut down for a few minutes.

“Oh, hey,” Bucky said with a smile.

“Hey Buck,” you replied, mirroring his smile. “How’s your day?”

“Pretty good,” he said with a sigh. “Just bored so I thought I’d see what you were up to.”

“Just taking a break,” you shrugged. “But you’re more than welcome to sit with me while I work. I won’t interact much because I lose focus easily but you can hang out.”

“As appealing as that is,” he started as he walked closer to you in your bean bag chair, “I know I’d start asking questions and I don’t want to distract you.”

You stood from your spot as he got closer and smirked up at him. “You are pretty distracting.” He stopped when he was toe-to-toe with you. “It’s a good thing my breaks are made for distraction.”

He smiled down at you as his warm hand curled around the back of your neck and pulled you into him for a kiss, your own hands looping through his belt and pulling his body closer to yours.

You practically melted into him, feeling as if you couldn’t get closer no matter how hard you tried. Even him slipping his thigh between your legs didn’t feel close enough. Then the weight of his metal hand fell to your waist as his tongue entered your mouth. It was all reminiscent of your first kiss just a couple days before.

Except outside your apartment, you didn’t have to worry about getting caught.

“Hey [Y/N], have you—“ You and Bucky quickly pulled apart at the sound of a new voice coming from the doorway and you immediately started to panic.

“—seen Bucky,” Steve ended with a sigh. The door quietly clicked shut behind him as he stepped in. “So you two…?”

“Have been on a date,” you said, walking toward Steve with your hands held out. “Steve, please don’t tell anyone, especially Tony.”

“You kind of owe me one, punk,” Bucky said as he walked closer, his hands shoved in his pockets. “I never ratted you out for lying on, what, five different enlistment papers?”

Steve huffed at this, clearly stuck between following the rules or letting others break rules that were much more harmless than his past rule breaking.

“You know this is gonna come out eventually, right? You won’t be able to hide this — and whatever this becomes — forever,” Steve warned.

“We know,” you said solemnly, “but it’s nice to just have this for now, you know?” You looked over at Bucky, who was leaning against the lab table looking back at you, his lips quirked in a small smile.

“Just… be careful,” Steve said as he started to leave. “If you don’t lock the door, at least ask Friday to alert you if someone is coming this way.”

“You know, I don’t care what people say about you, Steve. You’re pretty smart.” Steve initially smiled but then let out a short ‘hey!’ as you pushed him the rest of the way out.

“That was close,” you said, turning back to Bucky.

“But at least we have a pretty influential Avenger on our side, if we ever get outed,” Bucky said. Too bad he didn’t know the approval of everyone on earth would mean nothing to your dad — and both of your boss.

“Well, that little debacle kind of wasted the rest of my break,” you pouted, stepping up to Bucky.

“Can I take you out again?”

“I’d like that a lot,” you smiled. “Oh! I’m leaving for Massachusetts tomorrow and coming back on Thursday and have my family thing on Friday so will Saturday work?”

“Massachusetts?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the rest of your statement.

“Yeah, I’m helping Peter with a project so his prof wants me to be there to answer questions while he proposes his project. It’ll just be Wednesday, but Tony let me have tomorrow and Thursday off for travel so I’m taking my time.”

“That sounds…” Bucky started. “Uhh… I gotta be honest, that sounds unbearably boring,” he laughed, making you giggle with him. “But good luck to you and Peter. I’ll see you Saturday?”

•

The trip to Massachusetts was short but boring, and you were relieved to see Peter’s car when you stepped outside. Your hotel was right down the road from his dorm, so you dropped your stuff off before heading to his room to go over the proposal.

Even though you had only spent a few weeks working with Peter, he had grown to be like a brother to you. Spending so much time every day with no one else to talk to can really help people bond. Your dad’s adoration for the kid definitely helped, too. You wouldn’t be surprised if your dad eventually brought Peter along to family dinner.

“So I have to do most of the work, but you’ll need to explain why we’re doing this and what you’ll be doing,” Peter said after reviewing his speech.

“Okay, I can manage that.”

Peter was quiet for a second before saying, “Do you… maybe wanna go over what you’ll say…?”

“Oh, sure! Sorry, public speaking is a big thing in my family so I just figured I’d wing it.”

“Please don’t,” Peter said quietly, his eyes going wide right as the words left his mouth. “I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just mean, this proposal is important to me so I want it to go as smoothly and well-planned as possible.”

“Okay, you be your professor.”

Peter cleared his throat and said, “Miss [Y/L/N], what prompted you to start this project with Mr. Parker? And what role will you play in its growth?”

“Well, Dr. Kramer, I recently received a promotion within Stark Industries to work with the Avengers on their weaponry. This work included the vibranium arm on the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes. One thing I noticed early on was the lack of sensory receptors within the arm. That observation, along with a similar request from Mr, Barnes, prompted me to look into ways to change this. Mr. Parker has an internship with Mr. Stark so, considering our different areas of study, I sought out his help. With my knowledge and expertise on the mechanical side of things, Mr. Parker will primarily be working on the more biological side of things. Once he finds a way to connect new receptors to the spinal column through the current nerve channels, I’ll be able to create millions of micro-receptors that will need to essentially be surgically embedded in the vibranium. I already have the blueprints for this process; I’m more than willing to share those documents with you, though it is confidential and I would need you to sign an NDA for safety reasons.”

Peter stood in the middle of his room, speechless.

“I told you it runs in my family,” you laughed. “Now pick your jaw up off the floor. I’m hungry.”

The next day, Peter and you breezed through the proposal. Peter didn’t even stutter during his speech! But his classmates did bombard you with questions that the professor quickly shut down. You and Peter spent the rest of the day catching up. He introduced you to his girlfriend Michelle and his friends Ned and Flash. By the time you got back to your hotel that night, you were exhausted — and thankful for an afternoon flight.

The next morning, you got breakfast with Peter before his class and finished packing to fly back to New York. You were once again grateful for an afternoon flight because by the time you got back, you didn’t have time to get back to work. So you took the evening off and treated yourself to a bath, some wine, and your favorite Netflix series — and texting Bucky, of course.

Family dinner that week was much easier than the previous week. Your dad mainly asked about your project with Peter, only briefly touching on Bucky’s involvement. At least until your phone buzzed on the table. It was a rule that phones stay face-up on the table at dinner and any messages get read aloud. So when you saw “James 🐻” pop up, heat rushed to your face. You managed to snatch your phone before your dad could, but you still had to read it out loud to the table.

“Uh,” you nervously cleared your throat. “So, James said ‘I have an idea for our date tomorrow, but I would need full reign over your kitchen for a while.’” You sent the table a tight-lipped smile as you locked your phone and set it down again, waiting for someone to say something.

“You’re going out with this James again?” your dad asked.

“Yes,” you said plainly. “I like him, dad. A lot.”

“And you’re already inviting him over?”

“Dad, stop. I’m a grown woman; I can make my own decisions.”

“I’m not saying you can’t, I’m just saying… well, don’t you want to get to know him better first? Make sure he doesn’t want to wear your skin?”

“Ew, shut up,” you laughed. “I’ve done plenty of research into him; he’s a good guy.” Your dad still looked skeptical, so you pulled out your puppy dog eyes. “Please trust me on this.”

Tony huffed and shook his head. “Okay, fine. He’s a good guy. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. And don’t do anything I would do either.” You rolled your eyes at him but managed to divert the conversation by asking Happy and Pepper what Tony’s limit really meant.

•

The next day at 3:30 on the dot, you got a call to your house phone by the front door. It was unusual, especially since you hadn’t ordered any food. The doorman usually brought food up, but called if they were working alone. And you knew they weren’t working alone, considering how early it was. Still in your sweats and a t-shirt since Bucky wasn’t coming over until 4, you answered the phone with a simple “hey.”

“Hello Miss [Y/L/N],” you recognized the doorman Matt’s voice, “there’s a James at the front door for you?”

“Oh, okay, shit,” you said, whispering the last word to yourself. “Go ahead and send him up.”

“Would you like to grant him regular access to your residence?” Matt was always so formal, probably because you pushed for your dad to hire him and he knew he had to keep this gig. His background check showed he came from a low-income family and really wanted to turn that around. He knew he owed you and because of that, he was always grateful and sweet.

“Yes please. Thanks, Matt!”

With that, you hung up and sprinted to your room, knowing Bucky only had a 20 second elevator ride before he got to the sixth floor. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t have time to scramble for new clothes before there was a knock at your door. You grumbled as you ran back to the front door and greeted Bucky.

“Hi,” you said, half out of breath from your scurrying.

“Hey,” he smiled back. “I’m glad we chose the same style today.”

You gave him an admittedly generous once-over and realized his gray sweats and black tee matched yours, though your shirt did have an NYU logo on it.

“Oh thank god,” you nearly cackled. “I was panicking because I thought I should dress nice but you were early so I didn’t have time but I didn’t want to get ready too early so I wasn’t —“

“Hey [Y/N]?” Bucky interrupted. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, shit, yeah.” You stepped aside and let him kick his shoes off in the entryway. That’s when you noticed all the grocery bags in his hands. “Uhh, whatcha got there?”

“I said I’d need your kitchen, right?” he smiled, sending a wink your way as he started setting up. “I’m gonna cook you some authentic Romanian dishes ma used to make back in the ‘30s.”

“Ohh, sounds yummy. Can I help?”

“If you want to eat any of it, you better help,” Bucky joked.

“Let me grab a couple aprons so our fancy attire doesn’t get dirty.” In the hallway closet, you had about a dozen aprons Happy got for you. You said you needed some aprons once and suddenly you were getting new aprons for every gift-giving holiday. You appreciated it, though. Every time Happy saw an apron he thought you’d like, he bought it. And you, in return, bought him every oven mitt you thought he would like after he accidentally burned his hand making green bean casserole one year for Thanksgiving.

You grabbed the “Queen of the Cat-chen” apron covered in cats for yourself and for Bucky, the “I’ll feed all you fuckers” apron your dad thought was hilarious on your last birthday.

“Sorry I don’t have any matching chef hats,” you joked as you handed Bucky his apron.

For the next three hours, you followed all Bucky’s instructions and watched as he did his part of the work, chatting while things cooked and finally relaxing once everything was plated. You each had a decent amount of food debris on your aprons, making you thankful you both wore them. You led Bucky into the living room where you sat on the floor between your couch and the coffee table.

“You know the couch is made for sitting, right?” Bucky asked as he slowly sat behind you, one leg on either side of your body.

“Yeah, but it’s more fun to sit on the floor, especially when I’m eating.” You turned your head to face him as you continued, “I get too sleepy if I’m on the couch too long.”

He chuckled at your confession but didn’t argue. You both ate in comfortable silence, the only sound coming from the hum of traffic six floors down and the TV quietly playing a crackling fire YouTube video.

“Can you finish this for me?” you asked as Bucky set his empty plate on the coffee table.

“I’m full, doll.”

“Bucky, please? I can’t finish it,” you whines, pouting up at him.

“Then just put it away with the leftovers and eat it later,” he shrugged.

“But I’m so bad at eating leftovers,” you groaned.

“Then I’ll put it away and eat the leftovers,” he conceded. He snatched the plate from you and headed to your kitchen to pack it all away.

By the time he made it back, you were snuggled under a blanket on the couch with “What’s Your Number?” pulled up on the TV.

“I hope you’re okay with watching my favorite movie,” you smiled, making sure to flutter your eyelashes extra hard so he couldn’t say no.

“I haven’t seen this one yet so sure,” he said with a shrug.

He yanked the blanket off your body and unfolded it so he could bring you under his right arm and cover both of you with the thick fabric. Ever since Monday in the lab, he’s been more affectionate. He stopped by on Friday and kissed you at least half a dozen times before he left, then earlier while you were cooking, it was like he had to hold your hips every time he watched over your shoulder, and he chose to end the night holding you into his side and… oh, you were a goner once his fingers started lightly tracing shapes on your bare arm.

And he had to have known you were weak, if the way he angled his body toward you was any indication. You loved the movie you had picked out and really did want to watch it… but when you looked up at Bucky and saw his gaze meet yours, you knew the movie was going to be long forgotten.

His lips pressed to yours firmly, like he wanted to make sure you remembered what he felt like. You quickly let things escalate by gripping his hair and pulling him with you and you laid back on the couch. Your legs fell open as he slid right between them, his left arm propped on the cushion to keep himself from crushing you and his right slipping under your shirt to hold your waist. When his tongue passed your lips, you couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling of him taking control. His hand never moved past your waist, just occasionally squeezing as he pressed his body against yours.

The rest of the night was spent alternating between making out, talking while you were chest to chest on the couch, and making out some more until you fell asleep against his chest.

•

The next morning, you woke up to the blaring sound of a ringtone... that wasn’t your ringtone. And you were on your couch? The sleepy haze quickly wore off when you felt Bucky’s body shift behind you to reach over and grab his phone.

“What?” he answered grumpily, though your body’s initial reaction was to how deep and gravelly his voice was in the morning. Fuck.

With how close you two were and how quiet it was with the TV off, you managed to barely make out what was being said on the other end of the line.

“Where are you?” It was Steve. “You were supposed to be at the group breakfast this morning but you weren’t in your room so I told Tony you weren’t feeling well.”

“Oh, fuck,” Bucky groaned. Now that sound sent all your senses into overdrive. “I fell asleep at [Y/N]’s last night.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Steve replied, clearly exasperated. “Look, just stop by a convenience store and grab some medicine so when you get back, no one questions it. You snuck out when no one saw, that’s the story.”

“Thanks, man. I’ll head out soon.” Once they hung up, you rolled over on the couch to face Bucky.

“Good morning,” you said with a sleepy grin.

“Good morning,” he replied, pressing a slow, gentle kiss to your lips. “I’m sure you heard but I’ve gotta head out before Tony gets suspicious.”

“Okay. Text me when you get back?”

Bucky stood from the couch, and you followed suit behind him as he put his sneakers and jacket on.

“I’ll text you on my whole trip back,” he smiled. “Looks like you might have to bring those leftovers with you tomorrow. I don’t know that I can sneak them back today.”

You practically skipped to join him at the door, your hands going to rest on his chest before he could leave.

“Should we just designate Saturdays as our date nights?” you asked.

“Who said you get another date?” Bucky joked back.

“Excuse me?” you gasped in mock offense. “Next time I get to choose what we do and I’m not letting you take that away from me.”

Bucky chuckled at your little outburst but pressed another kiss to your lips as a peace offering.

“Next Saturday, your pick,” he smirked.

“It’s a date.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x Stark!reader #bucky barnes x stark!reader #Stark!reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic

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perpetuelledaydreaming · 3 years

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Illicit affairs - Chapter 4

summary: tony can’t catch a break with his daughter, y/n receives an unexpected call and then goes for a little day trip to coney island and for peter somethings sus.

Listen to: Girls like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko & Ta reine - Angèle

word count: 13.9k (longest chapter yet)

(author’s note at the end now)

series masterlist

If you were honest with yourself, you knew that what you had done at the club days prior wasn’t exactly the kind of behavior that Tony or Steve approved of; honestly none of the Avengers. So, the next day when you woke-up to your dad incessantly knocking on your door, you were aware it wasn’t a good thing. Tony’s face twisted as he watched your body covered in bruises and your tired eyes when you opened the door, with the complete knowledge that he had seen the news and that the news had not been so good with you.

You hadn’t obviously catch anyone, so that presented a problem from a PR point of view because at least that way you could twist the news and tell them that barely destroying an entire building had a good reason. But since it was supposed to be a secret mission it was so much harder to justify to the public. Moreover, some of the news outlets linked the fact that there was a possible connection to the Maggia family, which completely blew out the cover you had and the element of surprise. The Avengers had to release a statement explaining it had been part of aid to the NYPD on a drug raid, which still affected the Maggia family but not that much. Nonetheless, The Daily Bugle had been implacable with you, you had even had to send a cease-and-desist to make J. Jonah Jameson stop the defamation against you since he had published that you were a threat to society.

You figured you had a good rant coming your way, you were aware that you deserved it but you also knew you didn’t have many other choices to get the information you had now gotten or to escape after getting the information. It seemed only logical considering that you had been caught by one of the most dangerous men in the Maggia family / Kingpin circle but none of the Avengers saw it the same way. Harley and Wanda were the only ones that hadn’t been scolding you or giving you the disappointing looks that you received from the older Avengers, and you appreciated that from them immensely. Peter had also tried to be by your side as much as he could, every day since the undercover mission disaster after he got out of class, he would head to Stark Industries and share a chat and coffee before you both got to work or before he had to leave for studying or to see Gwen.

You were always beyond thankful for it, they were the only ones (with Pepper) who managed to make you forget that Tony hadn’t addressed the whole thing since you had opened that door the day after, which upset you even more that he wasn’t even trying to make the effort of listening to you. You preferred Pepper’s approach to the whole thing, considering she was basically your mother: Pepper said what she thought and she wasn’t afraid, she was direct and after telling you what was on her mind, she would still listen. She had told you off and you knew that every piece of a word that came out of her mouth was the truth: “You could’ve killed more people” “You could’ve gotten Peter’s identity revealed” “You could’ve been kidnapped” “You could’ve died” “Can you imagine if Kingpin was there?” “Is this really how we raised you?” “I know Morgan’s only one and a half but can you think of the example you are giving to your little sister?” But after it, she had taken the time on hearing your reasons and what you had discovered. She knew how serious it was and how upset you were, so she ended up telling her assistant to cancel all the dates and decided to spend the rest of the day with you and Morgan watching old Disney movies to make you feel better as you ate popcorn and laughed when Morgan bopped her head to the music.

Nonetheless, the only thing Peter and you had left out of the whole thing was that Black Cat had been somehow involved in it. Instead, you had decided to fabricate a story that you got a lead from your deep research and was simply trying to know more information, finally intimidating one of The Architects minions into telling you everything. Peter hadn’t been so sure about why you wanted to keep Felicia a secret since she had agreed to help you but you had begged him to stay silent, telling him that they wouldn’t trust the information given at first. You had to be sure that they would be ready to fight Kingpin before revealing Felicia’s secret and that she was counting on you.

Peter still was apprehensive about the whole thing, but the way your eyes had turned into puppy eyes when you pleaded him not to tell anything, he was bought. You were thankful that he was sticking with you and especially in the meeting that The Avengers had decided to do a few days after the whole thing, on the early morning in Stark Tower.

“He’s coming for us and he’s not going to stop!” you stated again, glaring at Nick Fury who had been insensately criticizing your behavior.

“Oh, and did you get all this information in that little unauthorized raid you did?” Tony asked curiously as he placed his hand on his clenched jaw. It wasn’t as if he was completely upset, he seemed emotionally exhausted to you with the pinch of annoyance in his voice.

“We were following a lead”, Peter stated as he intervened for you, which you felt extremely grateful for.

“And if it’s serious then we can all be in danger,” you continued as you gave him a thankful gaze. “He’s messing with alien tech and we all know how dangerous that can be”

Steve and Nat gazed at each other while Bruce shuddered at the memories of the Battle of New York, knowing it wasn’t one of his best memories. Tony looked down as if he was trying to avoid the fact that you were right along with the other’s present who’s silence meant, at least for you, that they knew what you were talking about and how serious this could become. But Fury didn’t back down as he glared at you with his only eye.

“Kingpin is not going to do anything unless we keep bothering him”, Fury stated, as he quickly removed the photos projected on the screen of the attack and Kingpin.

It was done for him, he had simply removed the photos and files from the screen, he had stated that the deal was done and it seemed like he would completely ignore your pleas. You turn to Peter, who was giving you the exact despondent expression that was drawn on your face, disbelief was dripping from your eyes as you realized the fact that no matter what you said, there was nothing you could do.

The pangs of annoyance began to grow on your body as you frown while watching Fury play with the screen and get out the other files that needed to be discussed, completely turning the page.

“But Dad-” you started but soon Steve cut you off.

“Look, y/n we are going today to Europe and although this mission doesn’t last a long time, we have to focus on it,” Steve said sternly as he gazed back at you. “More people need us there”

“Hammer’s protected and so is Oscorp, Black Cat hasn’t shown up anymore,” Nat said as if to calm you down, not knowing that Felicia’s safety now laid on your hands.

“Because they are going to be manipulated by Frisk!”, you replied urgently, it almost sounded like a cry.

But Fury cut you off before you could get a word out, which only made your annoyance grow as you glowered at them.

“No more Kingpin Drama, Stark”, Fury intervened for one last time.

“It’s an order soldier”, Steve spoke as he crossed his arms across his chest.

But you weren’t done, if the people who were in charge and had become your family wouldn’t listen to you, you would use your dad. You knew how touched Tony felt about weapons being traded, you knew that he understood the importance of stopping Kingpin because these guns and drugs could affect everyone in the world, not just New York. Although Tony had decided to avoid the topic completely, you knew that if you could at least touch a string on Tony’s conscience you could at least change a bit the outcome of this.

“Dad, please” you pleaded as you watched Tony intently. “You know that we have to stop Kingpin”

Tony sighed, folding his arms as he stood up from his seat. “Darling, we can’t right now”

“But Dad, he’s a threat-”

“I know,” Tony tried to assure you while he placed his arms on your shoulders and stroked your arms as if to comfort you. “But not right now”

You were sure that if you had felt stronger that day if you hadn’t been so mentally exhausted regarding what had happened and how it had been portrayed to the world if you had felt a little bit more support or understanding on why you went to the club that night; then you were sure that the disappointment trickling onto your already anxious mind, wouldn’t have been so obvious.

“I can’t believe you just put me in this position and hope for me to do nothing” you snapped at your father while you glared at Steve and Fury, quickly shaking off Tony’s arms and storming out of the conference room.

In the room, everyone remained silent, even Fury who had been a little bit stunned by the anger that had been dripping from your eyes before you left. Tony gave a loud sigh as he slumped back into his seat while rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hand, while Nat patted him on the shoulder slightly as if trying to calm him down about the whole thing. Every one of the Avengers seated around the table seemed a little bit surprised by the whole deal staring at each other but quickly paying attention as Fury started to discuss the mission that the majority of them were going to and how the others would help from here.

Except for Peter.

Peter was livid because he knew that you were right and the threat that Kingpin posed to you, to all of you and the people that they had sworn to protect. You hadn’t noticed it at the club that day but before you had flown out of the club, Peter had his spidey senses going off, already warning him that Kingpin had arrived. He wasn’t sure how to describe it, except a feeling of dread on his whole body. He hadn’t been scared of many things but the danger that Kingpin posed just by being near, was enough for sending shivers down Peter’s spine, causing Peter’s whole body to ache.

And now, for them (especially Fury) to simply dismiss both of you like that? Especially you who had been pouring all your time and energy into making this mission work, even overcoming your feelings towards Peter on this. If this had been before, Peter might have thought that you would leave it like that, that you wouldn’t do anything to go against what your commander had said. But as he glared at everyone intently, he knew you were probably already thinking in a way you could work this out and he knew that at the moment, he only wanted to be with you.

Peter gazed at your dad quickly, Tony looking back at him with an already knowing look.

“Go” Tony muttered as he slumped more on his chair.

Peter nodded as he went after you but before he could exit the conference room, he heard Fury clearing his throat. Peter rolled his eyes before he turned to see what else did he had to say.

“Parker, nothing more about this, clear?”

Peter remained silent, for a second, knowing that there was no way you or he would back out of this.

“Yes, sir” Peter lied with a nod as he turned around and chased after you.

Peter ran through the floor, passing employees quickly already knowing where to go to find you. Most of the people would think that after a bad discussion or a hard day, they would go to their room and lay in their beds or watch Netflix in the meanwhile. But when you were upset, you would stress invent. Usually diving even more into the work that you already had, trying to improve your suit or even Peter’s or your dad’s, anything could work to keep your mind off what was bothering you. It wasn’t a good coping mechanism, sometimes it would include nights without sleep, messing up your schedule and making you sleep all through the day, barely consuming any food, or interacting with more people. Therefore, Peter had developed his mechanism for when you were upset: hold you. He would usually look down when he got closer to you, his hand would slither behind your back or on your thigh, holding it tightly as you gazed back at him with a thankful look on your eyes.

Peter heard you immediately as the doors of the elevator opened into the lab floor, he passed his lab and walked to yours in a hurry. The glass around your lab had been misted over, so no one could see you there which was usual for you but he knew that it was darker than usual. The panel near the door beeped red but Peter didn’t care as he heard HAPPY telling him that you had asked him to deny guests into your lab at the time; instead, Peter simply quickly tapped the password that he knew by heart as the doors unlatched.

“Hey”

You absent-mindedly raised your head from your suit, quickly taking off the goggles that you were wearing and placing down the small tool you had in your hand. Peter couldn’t help to shudder at the memories that came flashing before him as he watched you tinkering away with a piece of a toolkit that was thrown open on the floor as different holograms surrounded you.

You had been tinkering on your suit and bopping your head to the music whilst Peter had placed soft kisses on your cheek as he served you more wine that you had stole earlier that night. You had giggled and stopped working for a second as you felt tingles from Peter’s butterfly kisses, Peter knew he had drunk a bit more than what he usually did and that was why he was being so forward. Then the clinking sounds of metal tools falling into the floor along with breathy moans were the only thing being heard.

“Hey”, you responded quietly as you watched Peter slowly.

Peter gave an apprehensive step but as he noticed your tired eyes, he knew that you weren’t even thinking that he had dismissed the order you had gave to HAPPY about letting people inside of your lab. So, he quickly walked towards you as your eyes were still glued to him, Peter shot a web towards a chair close by and he brought it towards himself, he sat down next to you as his eyes linked with yours slowly.

“Did I fuck this up?”

Your voice seemed so small that Peter almost felt like crying, your eyes seemed a bit tired and he could tell that you had spilled some tears before he arrived. This was completely true, you had tried your best to keep it together as you exited the conference room and walked through the hallways full of employees but you had broken down as soon as you reached the floor.

It wasn’t so much that you felt hurt about the whole deal and Fury, but it was more the frustration that you felt.

“You didn’t” Peter stated angrily, as he placed a hand over yours. “Fury never saw this coming and he’s not prepared to handle this, they are too busy with the Hydra nests and they can’t spare more avengers”

You sighed tiredly. “He is so stupid; he doesn’t see that Kingpin is probably the one giving these people their guns”

“I know” Peter stated as he listened to you quietly.

“And he’s just letting him get away!” you declared angrily, without noticing how you were starting to interlace your hand with Peter’s.

“I know” Peter stated once more as he watched how tightly you were holding him now.

“And so is my dad!” you snapped, letting some tools fall from the desk as you shook your head. “He stopped building arms for a reason and he’s now just letting Kingpin trade them as if it’s nothing?” you asked frustrated although Peter knew you didn’t want an answer. “We should’ve gone after him from day one and not Felicia, we could’ve-”

“y/n, we couldn’t have done much” Peter interrupted you as he gazed at you, somehow coyly as he admired you and listened to you carefully but you didn’t notice since you were still going off.

“Now, Felicia’s at risk and I said to her that we could help her” you sighed frustratedly, and before Peter could protest you cut him off. “I know she’s the one that said she could help us but she needs us to stop Kingpin or she might get killed. I feel like we are just leaving her behind”

You weren’t really sure why the guilt, of what seemed to be (at least from an outer point of view learned by the spying techniques that Natasha had taught you) collateral damaged from the mission, eat you up so badly. Felicia had left you at the club with nothing more but a “be careful”, but you still felt deeply sorry that you wouldn’t keep up your promise. You thought that it was simply basic human decency what you were experiencing, but in the back of your mind, you were aware that it went so much deeper than that. Felicia had triggered something inside of you and you didn’t know how to make it stop.

“I know, I feel bad for her too” Peter whispered as he stared back at you while you looked away for a second, your mind going miles per hour as thought about your next step: would you leave it like that? No, you knew that you couldn’t.

“You know I can’t leave it like this, right?” you asked Peter silently, staring back at his chocolate eyes with golden specks.

If this had been before you had left, you would’ve probably stood down and simply do as it was told. But you had seen so much destruction thanks to these weapons in Europe, you had seen first-hand what this could do to people and you realized who you were and this version of you knew that you wouldn’t leave it at that. You knew you were asking for too much at the moment, you knew that what would come next would be dangerous for both of you but you also knew that there wasn’t any other way for you.

Peter nodded but he decided to still warn you. “Fury’s not going to like it”

“I know what Fury said Peter, but you as well as I know that Kingpin isn’t going to stop” you explained quickly as your gaze burned him. “If he keeps selling these weapons and we are not there to protect the people, then what the hell are we doing here?”

Peter remained silent, knowing that you were right. It was a big thing, going against what was seemingly the right thing to do. You both knew it was going to be a bold move, you both knew the risks that it entailed and you knew that if you weren’t going to be more careful about everything then it could end badly, not just for you but for everyone. But Peter knew you weren’t backing out of this and there was no way in his mind that he would leave you alone in this, without protection.

“He’s trying to kill us so he can grow his empire, even more, you are aware of that?” Peter reason, still trying to give you all the points that he believed were important to discuss.

You nodded. “Peter he is not afraid, which makes it a bigger threat, I have to stop him” you replied as you watched Peter’s lowered eyebrows as he frowned, you knew he was thinking all the scenarios on his head before he finally agreed to anything.

“I hate going behind your father’s back” Peter finally said with a sigh as he leaned a bit back in his chair.

You felt like you could breathe now that he had agreed with you, you weren’t alone anymore.

“I know you do” you cooed as you leaned into him with a smirk.

Peter groaned as he simply gazed at you with his lips tugging into a smile as he watched watching him coyly, he could see it on your y/e/c eyes, that spark that he hadn’t seen in a long time: bliss happiness that Peter was with you on this.

“You know you want to do this with me”, you said playfully as you nudge him on the shoulder, getting closer.

“I wouldn’t do it for anyone else” he answered honestly with a genuine smile as he pulled your hand, which you were still holding tightly, and placed a light kiss on it.

You felt the slight warmth on your cheeks as you noticed how tight was your hold on him, not that it bothered either one of you.

Peter got a bit closer to you, he felt his heart fluttering on his chest while he watched you intently. He took a strand of hair you had on your forehead and pulled it to the back of your ear, his hand still lingering on your cheek as he heard your heart thumping on your chest faster as each second passed but he tried to not look as if he heard it. Peter instead focused on your features, he didn’t know how you managed to do it, to shine so brightly for him without even making an effort, he could feel the warmth on your smile as your gaze followed his as he tried to scan your face.

He hadn’t managed to be so close to you since that last night before you left and he wanted to engrave your face in his memory again, he wanted to upgrade it. He noticed you had a new small scar from your time in Europe, just below your right eyebrow, he noticed how your cheekbones had become more prominent as he fought the urge to kiss your cheek again, he noticed how good you looked with the undertones of purple under your eyes, he was surprised because he hadn’t paid them much attention before but he realized how good they look on you.

Then his eyes fluttered to your lips for a second.

You felt like you had stopped breathing when Peter’s chocolate eyes traveled for a second to your lips, you felt so stupid when you had automatically leaned it a bit after his eyes had returned to yours, those goddamn chocolate eyes with golden specks that combined so well with the chocolate curls that fell on his forehead and the freckles sprawled on his face.

Peter was about to say something, his mouth opening slightly when you heard your door opening and the two of you whipped your head towards the door as you backed away from Peter almost instantly, causing Peter to tumble on his chair, barely falling from it as Harley sneak his head into your lab, noticing the two of you before smirking.

“Everything okay around here?” Harley said with a knowing grin as he looked at the two of you.

Peter rolled his eyes at Harley’s presence while you glared at him, he knew exactly what he was doing. But before Harley could say another word, Peter simply shot a web to the door a slammed it shot, barely closing it on Harley’s fingers who was snickering as he realized what Peter would do.

“Keep it close, HAPPY” you said to your AI as you turned around towards Peter again who was blushing as he cleared his throat while standing up from the chair.

“I need to go to class but I can come by tonight, oh n-” Peter stumbled through his words while you were still watching him carefully from your place.

“What?”

Peter groaned as he took out his phone. “Ned’s visiting”

“Really?” you gushed.

It had been a long time since you had seen any of Peter’s friends, no one since that night at Flash’s parties and you would be lying if you said that you didn’t miss them. Of course, that you were extremely close, you had tried to catch up with them after you had left, random text messages each time you could send one but nothing more than that. So, when Peter mentioned the possibility of seeing them again, it caused you to instantly smile.

“Yeah, he’s here for the weekend so we were planning on doing something with MJ” Peter answered with a smile as he saw how you beamed.

“Well, why don’t you come here?” you suggested with a smile.

“Are you sure? I mean, we can reschedule or I could come later” Peter stuttered as he watched you nervously.

You didn’t have to be a genius to know it was because Peter was planning on spending that time with Gwen too. You felt a pang of jealousy growing on your chest but you quickly shook it off, reminding yourself that you had decided to be beyond that because of Peter’s apologies, that even if he had said it while you were on a rush, Peter had been truthful about everything and simply because you wouldn’t hate on a girl for being chosen over you.

“You know we left things as friends so I have no problem if Gwen comes” you finally muttered shyly as Peter’s eyes widened in surprise.

Peter swallowed hard, he was glad that you didn’t have a problem with Gwen and that you were being so mature as actually inviting her to your own home. But the thing was that Gwen would probably have a problem with him hanging out with you, again.

Especially since it wasn’t Spiderman related.

“Oh, okay…” was Peter’s only answer as you stood up from where your suit was towards your desk.

“Yeah, come and then we’ll stay up later researching more stuff” you suggested as Peter walked behind you completely stunned by your offer.

But he simply couldn’t and wouldn’t say no.

“Yeah, thank you” he stammered as he watched you while you sat on your desk, already typing furiously on it. Around eight?”

“Sounds right”

“I’ll text you” he replied before the doors of the lab opened.

“And I’ll answer!” you promised before you heard the doors closing and you smiled at the thought of what had happened.

As soon as Peter got out, you got to work. You decided to review the footage of what you had captured on the club, the only bad thing that you realized is that none of the guys at the club weren’t wearing alien technology. You hadn’t detected any actual surge of the energy type that these weapons would usually have, which was disappointing but you decided to analyze and go over the other pieces of information you had while periodically you started mending your suit.

You guessed since there wasn’t any solid plan to stop Frisk right now, you would start with the basics which some of them you already had. If you wanted to push the rest of the Avengers into this or even start any strong case against Kingpin, you had to collect all the information you possibly could need from the trading of the weapons he already had to the possible negotiations he was doing with Hammer or Oscorp. You spent hours hacking all the security systems of Frisk’s legitimate companies to check if they had any important transaction at the moment, after spending only minutes on Hammer’s information and noticing that a big payment had been made.

It was infuriating how stupid he had been, he didn’t even care to hide his trace.

Then, you decided to spend time working on the possible places where the alien technology, weapons, and drugs were being exchanged or store, knowing that New York was the center of operations, there had to be somewhere where they were hiding this. This type of thing had an incredible surge of energy and it was probably really kept-well-hidden for it not to explode or cause anything slightly suspicious. But there wasn’t more, there were a couple of warehouses that you had pinpoint and needed to take a look at but you were suddenly interrupted.

Your phone rang a couple of times, you didn’t think much about it as you turned it around.

It was a private number.

“Who’s this?”

“I’m so sad that you don’t remember me” Felicia’s silvery voice sent shivers down your spine.

Felicia had been MIA since the disaster at the club, her last words being “be careful” had indeed upset you seeing that she was the one that had brought you to the club. But as 24 hours had passed, you started to feel somehow concerned for her, you had even hacked the number and revealed the real one from where she had sent you the instructions, but you soon realized it must’ve been a burner phone since there wasn’t any real answer. After that, you tried to push it into the back of your mind, focusing on your father ignoring you and the Avengers scolding you but still, there was still lingering anxiety regarding Felicia’s state.

“Felicia?”

“Come hang out with me,” she cooed, you felt as if you could hear the coy smile that was so characteristic of her. “I know you aren’t going to college yet and it’s so boring to stay in that cold tower all day long”

You weren’t exactly sure when your mouth had decided to talk before your brain had even time to process the proposal that Felicia was suggesting, but you were already nodding.

“Where should we meet?” you asked, no hesitation in your voice.

“I’m down here at Stark Industries lobby”

You felt a shiver of panic running through your body, you weren’t sure why she had gotten so close to a place she could be recognized by someone, although her characteristic eyes were well hidden behind the mask and she was in no database, you still felt like her hair was really noticeable. You felt afraid that if she was capture by any security camera or eyed by a security guard (who had been on high alert thanks to Happy’s precautions), she might get in trouble.

But Felicia detected the panic in your silence right away and she had it covered.

“Don’t worry, I’m not dressed as Black Cat and I covered my hair” she stated with a smirk, you rolled your eyes at her comment with a smile plastered on your face. After a beat of silence, where you could only hear the people that were walking near her in the lobby and she could only listen to the French music that had been lowered down as you received the call, she spoke. “So, are you coming?”

You felt your heart thumping on your chest because you knew this was probably the last thing you should be doing at the moment, but you still felt compelled to tell Felicia that you would follow her and you didn’t care where. You just needed a good cover before you could leave.

“I’ll be right down, give me ten.” You stated before quickly hanging up.

You stood from your chair as you tried to look at yourself on the camera of your phone, checking if you were actually decent since you realized you had been hours on your lab without really fixing yourself after the meeting. You cursed realizing that you had to at least put on some mascara and blush before you went to meet with her but you cursed as you realized that you still had to sneak out.

“HAPPY” you stated as you began to create a code for a new folder with all the files regarding Kingpin. “Place all of the files on this folder, this is restricted information for anyone but Peter and me, got it?”

“Yes, Miss Stark” the AI answered as all of the holograms began to disappeared from the room.

You then ran towards your suit, which was still a bit damaged by the last encounter but would still work if needed. You placed a hand over it and then tapped the charm on your necklace, soon all the nanobots began to travel from your hand to your arm and towards your chest where they would be stored, the arc reactor shining for a second after it was done.

“HAPPY, where’s my dad?” you asked the AI as you grabbed your phone and began to open the door slightly.

“He’s on his lab Miss Stark, he is busy”

You nodded quietly as you turned your gaze to Tony’s lab, hearing Aerosmith blasting on the speakers as he seemed to be working freely on his suit, goggles on, and everything. Although your dad had taken a few years of rest, as he watched Morgan grow up and spent more time with her, he still couldn’t stop making suits or working on different things. Thankfully he seemed way too focus, on whatever he was doing to his suit at the moment that he didn’t see how you quietly ran to Harley’s lab, sneaking in before Tony finished with one piece of his suit, you rapidly close the doors as Harley, who seemed to be working on a repulsors device that Tony had been interesting on researching in depth because of its energy.

Harley quickly stopped as he realized that you were there, he turned around expectantly.

“Can you cover for me?” you quickly asked him as you leaned against the door, praying that Tony didn’t see you.

Harley smirked. “Who are you going to see? Spiderling already left and it’s studying”

You widened your eyes as you tried to brush off the question. “Oh, no one”

“You know you can tell me” Harley continued as he leaned more on his chair as he watched you fidgeting with your phone.

You knew that Harley knew something, that shit-eating grin that was drawn on his face wasn’t something out of the blue. Although you didn’t care to admit it, Harley also knew you very well after years of spending time together, he knew how to generally read someone extremely well and nothing that he did was a casualty, he was very calculating and he knew how people could react.

“I’m going out with a friend” you whispered, trying to sound as uninterested as you possibly could but you catch the mischievous gleam on Harley’s eyes.

“Friend as in girlfriend or boyfriend?” He asked as he wiggled his eyebrows coquettishly.

You shot him an annoyed look right away. “Does it matter to you?”

“No” he shrugged indifferently.

“Good” you stated as you cleared your throat, hoping that he wouldn’t notice how warm your cheeks had become or how you had been fidgeting a bit. “Thanks, asshole”

You quickly exited the lab floor; relief washed over you as you managed to sneak out without Tony noticing you and rushed to your room. You quickly picked up a bag and tried to put on a little bit of make-up, at least anything so you could look better than what you were looking for before. Thankfully, Pepper wasn’t at the apartment at the moment and Morgan was up in her room with a nanny. You didn’t run into anyone on your way down to the lobby, quickly running through it, your eyes scanning the crowded room of people (since Tony had decided it was a public space as well) to find Felicia.

It didn’t take long for you to spot her near one of the main entrances.

Her outfit was a far cry from the clothes that she had worn in your previous encounters. She was wearing an oversize high-waisted jean with chunky tennis, along with a nice black sports bra that fitted her nicely but was covered with an oversize black hoodie and a beanie, hiding the great majority of her silver hair except for a few strands that framed her face. Her greyish-purple eyes gleamed as she saw you walking towards her with a malicious smile.

“That was fast” she teased as her eyes seemed linked with yours, but you looked away nervously.

“Nice outfit” you blurted out, ashamed by the random comment.

Felicia gazed down at yours, scanning your body. You were wearing an oversize dark blue sweater over a white blouse, the collar popping out from the sweater, accompanied by a white short tennis skirt and some tennis that you had clean up recently. You knew you looked okay, it was a cute outfit but you felt like maybe it was too pristine for her taste.

“Yours too”, she said with a knowing smirk, although it was completely obvious that your outfits were completely different, then she saw you putting on a dark blue mask over your face. “What’s that for?”

You stopped as you look around, already noticing some people staring at you a little bit more than usual. It was a normal thing, for you to get attentive looks when you walked on the streets, therefore you had gotten used to hiding your face if you were going out. It was a common thing you did when you hanged out with Peter and his friends in public places if there were too many people close by, it had become even a normal habit when you were in your mission.

“You don’t want people recognizing us, right?” you asked before quickly placing the mask on your face and taking her hand to exit the lobby, to lose some of the people who had been staring at both of you before they got their phones out.

She smirked as she followed your path on the street. “You have it all figured out, don’t you?”

“Actually, I don’t because I have no idea why you called me” you turned on your heels watching her intently, you didn’t want her to notice that you felt a bit upset that she had left you behind the other night.

Felicia stayed silent for a few seconds; a bit stunned by how forward your comment was.

“Well,”, she cleared her throat. “Since we are going to be working together, I figured we could get to know each other, and… what better way than to hang out” she purred as a hand caressed your arm with twinkly eyes, without addressing what had happened days prior.

You felt goosebumps appearing on your skin, your breathing becoming not all together light as you watched her intently. You knew that probably if Tony or Peter or Steve or honestly, any of the other Avengers saw you doing what you were doing, talking with Black Cat -an enemy- in such a manner, you would’ve probably gotten your suit taken away.

But no one was watching you, no one was judging you and you felt like you could be you, this was your choice.

“Where are we going?”

Felicia didn’t answer right away, instead, she decided to grab your hand and make you run beside her to the nearest metro station, she paid for your ride and you got into the train that she had ordered you to get in, running before the doors close on you. She told you that it was going to be a surprise, you weren’t sure if your heart raced in excitement or suspicion, which even grew when you ended up taking more than one train.

But it was nothing that you expected it.

You had visited Coney Island a couple of times before, mainly with Tony and Pepper and another time with Peter and his friends. It was a place with fun memories but that seemed so far away that you hadn’t thought about it in a long time. The fast times, the bright lights, the arcade rings, the laughs; it seemed so distant as you walked through the place.

“You don’t seem like the kind of person who likes Coney Island” you commented as you glanced at Felicia who was walking next to you.

She shrugged. “I don’t like it in the summer, but in autumn there aren’t many people, which is the only way I can come”

“I get you” you nodded with a smile as you continue to see what games had been added or what you could do, not that you saw it but she smiled too.

Without any warning, Felicia took a hold of your hand and began to drag you through the whole place as the salty air hit your face, mixed with the giggles and laughs from both of you while you enjoyed the day.

If you could describe Felicia in one word, the only thing that came to mind was fearless. Felicia was herself and she wasn’t afraid to be herself, which was something that you wished to be for the longest time. During the day you observed her quietly, noticing little details about her and you felt somehow the similar warmth you had felt with Peter and them. You realized that Felicia laughed loudly, it wasn’t a common thing but when she laughed, she really laughed.

She was also very blunt, she said whatever was on her mind, and sometimes, she didn’t even have a filter; like when one guy had been trying to flirt repeatedly after she had already said she was not interested, as you both bought ice cream to eat in front of the beach. She had finally decided to sing along to the tune of “short dick man”, repeatedly, until the guy had gone away. You had laughed for about five minutes afterward. She had dark humor, which you enjoyed since when you usually made the type of jokes, Pepper or Tony got concerned -given that they were somehow still protective over you-. She was loud, she was angry, she wasn’t shy or embarrassed, she said what was on her mind, she was unapologetically herself and you loved every single moment.

She seemed to be the opposite of whatever you were supposed to be, how you had been raised. You were supposed to be quiet; you were supposed to follow the rules, you were supposed to do whatever people told you, you were supposed to help people and be a good hero, a good girl.

And Felicia wasn’t, but you loved it.

The afternoon continued perfectly, you walked through the boardwalk as you ate your ice cream while she told you stories, although you had to wait until you were far away enough from people to actually start eating your ice cream; you even share a bit with Felicia since she had already eaten hers. You had also managed to play in the different games of the arcade, both of you knowing you would ask for the biggest price as your aim was perfect, both winning the biggest and fluffiest toys that you had seen, but you quickly gave it to a few kids that were in awe as they saw you walking with them. You had managed to sneak into a circus sideshow which had a contortionist, a man who swallowed swords, and a fire eater, you had squirmed on your seat for the contortionist; even more when Felicia had whispered in your ear that she could probably do the same thing. Then, you spent some of the last hours of the afternoon watching carefully the collection of free-standing murals, even taking a few pictures in front of the graffiti of mermaids, amusement park rides, and more.

But although it all had been fun and laughs for a while, when the sun was setting down Felicia and you managed to seat in one of the benches farther away from the rest of the people. You weren’t really sure what compelled her to tell you everything that she had told you, or what had compelled you to ask if she had anyone else in her life, but you immediately felt your heart clenching on your chest as she told you really about her. Felicia’s mom was a no-show, she didn’t even remember her and had been raised only by her father who had died a couple of years ago of bad stomach cancer, which had been painful to watch. He had been the one who had taught her everything, he was the one that had encouraged her to never settle for second best and always succeed in whatever she wanted.

After her father’s death, she had enrolled in NYU which had ended up being one of the worst ideas of her life. She had been assaulted by someone that was supposed to be her friend, but she hated her idea of becoming a victim, something that she didn’t think of herself as, she never wanted to see herself like that; she had managed to get her revenge at the end but after that, she decided to drop out and continue on the path that she was now in. So, after that she hadn’t found anyone, she had acquaintances and she would go out from time to time with people from the different jobs she had, but no one really close. The only one who knew her secret identity had been the bartender that you had seen at the club, who had been a friend of her late father, who had promised her father that he would take care of her.

But regardless, it seemed like she was alone.

You knew that alone wasn’t the same as lonely, and although Felicia never said that she was, you couldn’t help to avoid that she was indeed feeling lonely. You knew being in the job, either as a hero or as a criminal was hard because not many people were in the same business. You had been lucky enough to grow in a family of superheroes and then you had been lucky enough to find Peter but Felicia, she didn’t have people. She liked that mostly she was known as Black Cat, you could tell by how her eyes glowed each time she told you about her times and adventures as this persona, but you weren’t sure why she didn’t feel the same as when she was just Felicia.

“I like that about you, Stark” she had finally sighed as she glanced at you slightly. “You are just you; you are y/n Stark. No secret identity, no hiding”

You shrugged. “Well, that’s not true,” you said pointing at the mask.

Felicia’s grin turned catlike. “Touché”

The air turned lighter than what it had been before as you heard the waves hitting the sand while the moon lightened up along with the bright lights of Coney Island. You glanced at Felicia and realized how the moon always seemed to fit perfectly with her, the way it brightened up her plump lips and for some reason, it made her eyes look more purple than before, while the silver hair combined perfectly with the light. It seemed as if she was transforming to Black Cat herself only with the light of it.

But you could still see some of the heaviness on her eyes, the conversation you had must’ve taken an emotional toll on her and you felt your stomach twisting as you thought about how she must’ve been thinking now about her father.

“Come,” you said standing up in the blink of an eye.

Felicia frowned with a smile. “What are you doing, Stark”

“Come Hardy” you repeated as you offered your hand.

You pulled her into the games once again, more people were arriving now with thicker sweaters and coats as the night turned a bit colder than before. You ran through the places and quickly stopped on the ice cream stand, now only taken one ice cream for Felicia, the one she had eaten with you, and immediately pulled her towards the bright Ferris Wheel. You quickly took your seat as you sat Felicia first and then place the ice cream on her hands and then you adjusted the seat for both of you.

As the wheel began to move, Felicia seemed a bit stunned by the whole ordeal but you could see a smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

“You look good when you smile,” you said quietly, your voice almost dropping down to a whisper as you reached the top of the Ferris Wheel and it stopped moving.

“Well, it was a good day”, she replied with a nudge to your shoulder, watching you playfully.

You glanced at her, her eyes beaming. “It was”

“And we haven’t even got to work”

You felt your shoulders tense up and you knew that your smile had vanished from your face as soon as Felicia had mentioned work. You had completely forgotten to tell her what had happened that very same day, you cursed yourself and how distracted you had been during the whole day. You stammered but Felicia had already caught up with how tense you were.

“What happened?” she asked seriously.

You took a sharp intake of breath, as your mind was grinding, thinking what was the best way to tell Felicia that there was no Avengers other than you and Peter coming to help you. That after telling you everything that she had told you that day, you would disappointment. You turned around quickly facing away as the urge to vomit grew in a second before you managed to calm down quickly.

“Look,” you said as you breathed heavily. “We were dismissed from the mission and now-”

“What? Why?” Felicia asked as she touched your shoulder hastily.

You could sense the urgency in her voice.

“Fury and the others don’t think that Kingpin is an immediate threat and they are going to a mission in Europe today. They don’t want to focus on this”

“He is! Did you tell him everything?” Felicia continued.

“I did!” you answered with the same urgency. “Fury doesn’t care, he doesn’t want to get involve and neither did my father. They don’t listen and I’m tired of it, I’m tired of being only good to follow orders and remain quiet. It’s like I have to prove myself all the time to them, especially dad” you sniffled and only then you realized you were on the verge of tears. “I’m so sorry, I know it’s not what I had in mind either but I can promise you that I will protect you, Peter and I will protect you from Kingpin”

Felicia stayed silent for a moment; you were sure that your eyes were burning holes on her face as you watched how her mind was working it out. You felt like you stop breathing as she figured out her next step, you knew that you would keep your promise but you were terrified it wouldn’t be good enough for Felicia to accept it and simply leave you. The thing was that you didn’t know why you were terrified, was it because she would keep working with Kingpin and the advantage you had for the mission would be gone? Or was it because you cared about the girl in front of you with greyish-purple eyes and silver hair who made your heart skip a beat when she gave you a cat-like smile that she had.

“I trust you,” was what she finally said as she gazed back at you with a slight frown. “If you tell me that you and Spidey can do this, then I’ll help you”

You took a deep breath of relief as you stared at her. “That means a lot”

She shrugged with a smile. “You are special, Stark”

You were a little taken aback by the words of Felicia. Through the dim lights at the top of the Ferris Wheel, you could see a bit of trepidation and heaviness in the forefront, but you also saw warmth in her gaze and something much more intense and much deeper. You would like to say that you recognized it, knowing that you were somehow reciprocating since you two had met. You felt your body burning in anticipation but before you could say anything, you felt your phone vibrating on your back.

You were taken aback by the name that lightened up the screen, along with a goofy photo of Peter from years ago.

“Hello?” you answered as Felicia looked away for a bit while you mouthed sorry.

“Hey, we just finished watching Star Wars and I think we are ready to go now, I’m sorry we are late. So, we are on our way, just giving you a heads up” Peter said contentedly as you heard MJ and Ned laughing in the back.

You involuntarily slap your face with your hand, groaning as Felicia jumped alarm by how hard you had slapped yourself. You had completely forgotten that Peter, MJ, Ned, and Gwen were coming to your home that night, you hadn’t even been checking the hour, completely silencing HAPPY for the day when you had arrived at Coney Island.

“Fuck, no” you groaned as you watched the time, it was over 8:00 pm and you knew you had messed up. Peter stayed silent at your comment for a second as if he was hoping that you had just said the wrong thing but you quickly continue. “Take all the time you need, I’ll be there in forty minutes, can you guys wait for me?”

“Oh, okay,” Peter said a little bit took aback but you didn’t give him time to say anything else as you hung up quickly.

“I have to go, I’m so sorry”, you muttered as you tried to signal the guy who was handling the Ferris Wheel to bring you down.

Felicia didn’t say anything but she just watched you quietly instead as you sighed relief once the Wheel began to go down again, you liked to imagine it was thanks to how you were screaming at the guy down there. You knew that if Peter arrived there before you did, that meant that he would probably simply take the elevator and run into your that, who knew you didn’t have many friends to hang out with and destroying the cover that you thought Harley would have for you.

Nonetheless, you also knew that wearing your suit to arrive early to the house could present a problem because if you were hanging out with someone you would probably bring them home as well and not simply be flying on your own. Plus, you didn’t want to give anything more to the media being that you weren’t their favorite person at the moment and that they could take even a small flight to criticize you.

It wasn’t until Felicia called your name that you snap out of your thoughts.

“Hey, Stark!” she called you and you spun so fast on your heels that you didn’t realize how close she was to you.

You froze as you felt her silky hands take off the mask that you had been wearing as she leaned in, you felt your breath caught when you felt the lightest touch of her hand on the back of your neck as she pulled you in. Your body was buzzing as her lips ghosted over yours, she pulled you in so close that you were now flush up against her, your eyes linked for a second and your eyes fluttered down to her lips, she decided to close the space.

Felicia’s lips tasted like cotton candy and ice cream.

You felt your whole body was crackling, sparkling with electricity and the burning need to feel closer to her. To have her touch. You weren’t going to lie that you were a bit stunned and it took you a minute to respond but her lips were plush and fervently pressing against yours causing you took a hold of her waist and pulled her even closer, another one of your hands traveling to cup her face while your lips continued to move at the same beat as hers.

You had been thinking about her lips long enough, how plump they were and how pretty they looked. But her lips against yours was a whole other thing. It was like you were breathing the other with the taste of the ice cream in both of your lips. Felicia hummed against your lips and you smiled into it, completely hypnotized by the movement of her soft lips and how you felt your skin burning where she was touching.

A whimper barely escaped your lips but Felicia had already pulled back, getting a good look at you. You opened your eyes and blinked in surprise as you watched Felicia’s plump lips form into a cat-like grin, but neither said anything as she watched you intently and quickly placed your mask on your face again.

“I’ll call you, Stark” she whispered before she let go of you and went her merry way.

You struggled to speak, to form any coherent word and so you let her go in silence. Somehow it felt overwhelming for you, every one of your senses had been locked into the moment and it felt as if everything around you had disappeared as you kissed her. You knew that you had been harboring some kind of feeling for Felicia and it seemed like you had lied yourself enough times to simply push that to the back of your head but as you had kissed her it felt like they had been poured out without any warning, and it seemed stronger than what you had anticipated.

You weren’t sure how you got home, all the way through you had only thought about Felicia’s lips over yours and what did it mean? She had been the one to initiate the kiss, was it a way to say thanks? Was it because she had the same feelings that you had? Was it because she just wanted to mess with you?

It was only when you reached Stark Tower that you snapped out of your thoughts thanks to Ned Leed’s voice.

“y/n!”, Ned gushed as he hugged you from behind without any warning.

Sometimes you weren’t really sure how Ned was always so full of happiness and energy all the time, you had guessed -as you had gotten to know him better- that he simply had a gift for it. He was the sweetest boy and the kindness that he had in his heart always set him apart from everyone else. There was a sparkle in him that resonated with you and you didn't find it weird, or awkward when you began to hang out with Ned without Peter or MJ when you first met. You could easily fall into a conversation with him and keep on going for hours, he had become a light in your life; Sometimes, when Peter had assured you that you were his sunlight, you weren’t really sure since you had guessed it was a term that fitted better with Ned.

“Oh!”, you said with a smile “Ned!”

Peter walked behind him as he talked with MJ, laughing at how Ned had raised you from the floor with his hug. Peter had been ecstatic about your invitation, Ned and MJ had been elated as well but Gwen hadn’t been that elated. Nonetheless, he knew how deeply you cared about his friends and how deeply they cared about you. You had easily become part of the group and Peter was more than happy about it.

“How are you!?” you replied as he let go of you and you placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“MIT is great!” Ned said with this big smile as you giggled a bit. “I was hoping we could see at least one class together next semester! Do you think you will be over there, next semester? Can you make it work?”

You stammered as Ned gazed excitedly at you, you almost felt coaxed to agree with him, by how wide his smile was, knowing that it was a real possibility that you wouldn’t go back to MIT and keep studying in New York, at least in the foreseeable future but before any word escaped your mouth, MJ intervened.

“Ned, let her breath” MJ stated as she walked over to you with a light smile.

“MJ!” you gushed as you gave her a small hug, knowing that she wasn’t into being too touchy.

She hugged you back which you appreciated. “We’ve missed you here in New York.” She stated as she backed out.

“I know, I’ve missed you guys too” you answered sweetly as your eyes fell on Peter.

Sometimes you forgot how your heart would skip a beat when Peter looked at you like that. Peter Parker had a thing and that was when he smiled truly and honestly, his eyes would just wrinkle a bit and his face would just brighten up, it would look as if his freckles were beaming and would combine perfectly with the caramel curls that would often fall on his forehead. You knew that look so well, because it was a recurrent expression he would have around you but you hadn’t been paying attention since you had arrived, you didn’t know if it was because you had been so absent from your thoughts but it was the first time you were seeing it since you had arrived.

“Hey!” Peter said with a smile and you fought the urge of playing with his curls as he placed a small kiss on your cheek.

“Hey!” you answered rapidly, fighting the urge to get flush but then you remembered. “Um- where’s Gwen?”

Peter's eyes widened for a moment as he cleared his throat. “Oh,” he stammered. “She’s coming”

Peter didn’t know if she was coming.

They had been having coffee close by during the afternoon and talking about a physics exam but midway through it, Peter had told her about your invitation. He knew you had done it honestly as a good gesture, an invitation in order to mend whatever was left of your past friendship and he knew that part of it was also hanging out with his current girlfriend. But Gwen disagreed, she had growled that you were trying to win him back and that he was falling right into it, she felt offended just by the fact that you -or well, Peter- had suggested that she should come, knowing that you were once in love with him.

Deeply, Peter understood what Gwen was saying but he also tried to explain to her what was really happening and how important it was for him given that this didn’t involve just him, but his whole life as Spiderman. Gwen told him that she would think about it but he hadn’t heard back from her.

“Good, I’m glad!” you answered while you swallowed hard, biting your lip for a second as you tried to get back on your train of thoughts. Peter noticed how distracted you look. “Please, come in!”

You were glad that the lobby had already closed down by the time you had arrived so you could quickly take off your mask and breathe freely. Knowing that you still needed, given that you were still thinking about Felicia’s lips and now you were thinking about Peter’s eyes.

You entered the apartment quickly, as you tried to lay all of your things down first so you could be more attentive with your guests, given that you had spent the day with Felicia and not preparing for the hangout.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t have anything ready. I was out”

Peter frowned. “With who?” he asked suspiciously but at the same moment, Harley entered the living room with Morgan in his arms.

Harley’s curly dirty blonde hair was being tugged by Morgan’s tiny hands as she giggled loudly. “I didn’t know we were having guests tonight, then I would have gotten Morgan ready”

You smiled at them as you quickly took Morgan from Harley’s arms and the baby gushed. “y/n!” she was already getting so big and was smarter than you had expected, already speaking correctly and forming full sentences.

“Hi baby!” you cooed as you nuzzle your nose against her.

“I almost forgot you had a sister!” Ned said as he started to play with Morgan, reaching out to her as the baby quickly latched onto his fingers while he cooed at her.

“Who could forget someone so pretty?” Harley asked as he gazed directly at MJ, walking away from Morgan, Ned, and you, his eyes sparkling mischievously.

“Hey H,” MJ said with the same confidence that Harley had, as she beamed at him.

MJ and Harley had known each other since you had introduced them one night a couple of years prior at the compound when MJ was having a sleepover with you. Harley had been instantly enamored by the cool aura that MJ dripped and how little did she care for everything that a normal teenager was supposed to care. MJ, on the other hand, loved how smart Harley was, how he always seemed to say the right thing, and obviously, how interesting he was.

Nonetheless, neither had made a move.

“Harley, don’t flirt with my friends” you commented as you held Morgan tightly and shot Harley an annoyed glare.

Harley flushed a bit, the tip of his ears turning pink as he looked at you wide-eyed while MJ laughed at him with a large grin, the underlying tension between them already growing with your comment.

“Didn’t know we have people coming” Pepper appeared from the kitchen with Tony behind, her long hair tied in one of the ponytails she used to wear years prior.

Pepper began to say hi to your friends as Tony leaned on the couch of the large living room, watching you intently.

“Neither did I” Tony commented as he crossed his arms.

You felt your heart racing in your chest. “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you”

“It’s okay dear” Pepper stated as she gave you a quick peck on your cheek as you said ‘hi’. “I’m just sad that we already ate dinner”

“Oh, don’t worry we are just maybe going to cook something or ordered it in”, you muttered as you kissed Morgan repeatedly on her cheek for a second as Ned made Morgan giggle uncontrollably.

“Where were you today?” Tony asked plainly at you as he raised his eyebrows.

You felt your blood cold as you turned around in panic while watching your father. Tony had a thing for catching people in lies and although you knew it was possible to lie at him, you also knew that if he saw the slightest twitch or inconsistency, he would be able to see right through you.

He was one of the smartest men on earth, for god’s sake.

“Uhm- Harley didn’t say?” you asked as you looked at Harley while raising your eyebrows.

Harley shot you an annoyed look, which you answered immediately with another one.

“He said you were out with a friend regarding the Halloween thing?” Tony said suspiciously, clearly questioning you and you felt the panic rushing through your veins.

“I was with MJ!” you quickly blurted out as your gaze then fell back on MJ.

MJ looked surprised for a second, stunned at your comment but she was quick, she realized that you needed a cover. You raised your eyebrows at her and nudge to say something, anything.

“Yeah, yeah!” MJ stammered as she placed one strand of hair on the back of her ear as she smiled at Tony. “y/n was helping me pick a costume”

Peter cocked his head and wrinkled his nose, knowing that there was no way that MJ was hanging out with you today, she had spent the last few hours with him and Ned. He knew that you were lying and he stared intently at you. You tried to not react at Peter’s gaze lock on you, knowing that you would have to explain later what you were doing, you only hope he gave you enough time to think about an excuse.

“Right…” Tony sassed as he walked towards you. “What costume did MJ pick?”

“Dad, stop”

“What? It’s not like you have many friends! I just want to know” Tony retorted with a shrug.

But you knew exactly what he was doing and you weren’t going to fail.

“Rude” you stated as you glared at your dad. “I have friends and if you really want to know, we went to a lingerie shop because we want to dress as the characters mean girls so if you don’t mind”

Tony’s face turned bright red as he heard you and was already covering his ears, singing a tune -loudly- by the time you finished.

You smirked.

“You were the one who wanted to know,” Pepper said with a shrug as she smiled at Tony who glared at her, you smiled with a shrug as you continue to play with Morgan and gave quickly a wink to MJ who nodded in agreement.

Peter frown at the interaction, knowing that whatever you were hiding seemed to be important.

“Yeah, yeah” he quickly answered as he stepped towards you and kissed you on the forehead, softly whispering. “I’m glad that you are okay, thank you for taking it okay”

You smiled at your dad and quickly hugged him with Morgan on your arm, who joined in the hug. Nonetheless, the pang of guilt invaded you because you knew it wasn’t the truth, you weren’t taking it okay and you were doing everything that you had been ordered not to do.

Soon after the whole thing, Tony took Morgan out of your arms and said goodnight with Pepper as they went to the other floor to sleep. It was already too late for Morgan and honestly, it was late for Tony and Pepper as well, you felt like you could breathe again when they left. Harley decided to go with you, much to Peter’s annoyance and to MJ’s delight. You then decided that you were going to cook some pasta with wine and then maybe watch a movie, the dinner was nice as Peter and you handled the pasta while Ned and Harley began to cook the sauce, MJ was the DJ as she played one of her perfectly curated playlists since she didn’t know or was interested in cooking.

Throughout the night many different topics resurface, old fights and old movie nights, how Flash seemed to have a permanent crush on you and what had happened in the time that you had left. Ned was the one that lead most of the conversation regarding college and throughout the whole night, Harley flirted with MJ, which MJ responded to with coy smiles and blush cheeks. Nonetheless, you couldn’t stop your eyes from falling to Peter who seemed to be getting quieter and quieter as the night progressed, he seemed to be constantly checking his phone and furiously typing messages.

Deep down you knew they were from Gwen when after a while she still hadn’t shown up.

It wasn’t until you were taking some of the plates to the kitchen while MJ and Ned discussed what movie to watch with Harley that you really had a chance to talk to Peter. He followed you onto the kitchen while you place the plates into the sink with a sigh.

“Hey, where were you today?” Peter said as he entered the kitchen and lean into the marble island as you turned towards him.

You froze as you watched Peter’s inquisitive expression, your mind grinding what you were about to tell him.

“I was doing fieldwork”, you lied as you got closer to him. “Nothing extraordinary”

Peter gave you a veiled expression as your gazes linked. “You know you have to tell me this type of things, right?” he finally answered with a sigh.

“Yeah, but I got no information today” you answered, which was true you hadn’t really talked about anything different with Felicia than her life or random things, there was no new information about the mission per se. “I’ll tell you if I find anything. Are you going to patrol tonight? Maybe we can-”

Peter’s phone started ringing, Peter quickly grabbed it from his pocket and read the name on it. He quickly glanced at you with a painful expression. “Sorry, I have to take this”

You didn’t manage to answer, Peter was already walking towards the living room outside of the kitchen. You didn’t know if it would be the wisest thing for you to try to listen to what he was talking about but you knew he was talking with Gwen. You remained in the kitchen, staring at him talking on his phone, not that he really noticed, he was headfirst into the conversation and it seemed rather intense. You had come to learn Peter’s mannerisms when he was mad or when he was mad and discussing with someone, his stentorian stance, how his jaw would clench, how he would roll his eyes when he felt frustrated, how he would talk with his hands if the conversation got heated.

“What are you doing?”

MJ’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts regarding Peter and your gaze from him, you turned around to see her shaking her head with a smile.

“Dishes” you answered as you pointed at the plates on the sink, knowing that there was no way MJ was buying it as she sat on one of the stools near you.

“Apart from spying on Peter” she added as she raised her eyebrow.

You glared at her. “I was not” you whined.

“Yes, you were, it’s okay,” she said with a shrug as she gazed back at Peter.

You sighed and did the same, watching as Peter ran a hand through his caramel curls frustratingly as he seemed to get louder while he kept holding his phone tighter on his ear. It wasn’t good and you couldn’t help the urge of going to where Peter was, threw his phone away and simply hold him, play with his hair and help him fall asleep as you had done so many times before.

“I just,” you said frustrated. “Why wouldn’t she come?”

“She was busy”, MJ said as she took out her phone and showed you Gwen’s Instagram stories.

You could see Gwen being in a group photo of many friends but especially close to one random guy who was holding her by the waist. Then another one of Gwen’s kissing a guy’s jaw, the photo moving from a smile to a kiss on his jaw. The last one was Gwen being held by her waist by the same random guy as he gave a peace sign.

You winced at the thought of how Gwen must’ve been feeling and you felt the pang of guilt again. You knew she was doing that because it was a call for attention to her boyfriend, you would’ve been lying if you said you wouldn’t be that dramatic, knowing your reaction at seeing them kiss a year and a half prior. It was normal, it was a normal thing to do if you were feeling like that and if you didn’t have any other tool on your emotional box to react to that.

But you also felt for Peter knowing that seeing those stories and the possible text couldn’t be anything good for him, he had to be hurt by them.

“They have been struggling a lot” MJ commented, snapping you once again from your thoughts.

“Who?”

“Peter and Gwen, they just… they have been having issues. Especially since he told him about Spiderman” MJ continued as she watched her phone.

You felt your stomach twisting inside because you knew that Peter hadn’t like being Spiderman for so long but had accepted the responsibility he had when he had gained those powers and that now, years after finally accepting them, they were going to be used against him in a relationship? It didn’t seem fair.

“That sucks?” you stated as you glanced at MJ “It’s not like Peter can decide over his powers or responsibility. It’s something greater than him”

“Yeah, but it still sucks that he has to sneak around and then leave you as an afterthought” MJ replied with a shrug.

You knew that it was also true that this work wasn’t easy and that not many people would understand.

“That’s true too,” you said as you stared back at Peter.

“Love isn’t just chemistry, it’s logistic”

You turned around impressed by MJ’s intelligence on the topic, not that you were surprised that MJ was as smart emotionally as she was smart academically. But the thing was that your mind couldn’t help but to go back to the kiss with Felicia and in reality, the whole thing that was going on between both of you. What was the possible logistic behind that friendship or relationship?

Nonetheless, you didn’t want to fester on it and you pushed it into the back of your mind for the moment; quickly changing the topic.

“Hey, so costume party, you?” you asked MJ with a smile, looking at her cheekily.

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I guessed it was time since now I have more friends. My parents are going on a trip and they let me have the apartment for Halloween so I’m excited. Betty and Flash are also coming back for it.”

You smiled widely. “You know my favorite holiday is Halloween”

It was true, Halloween had become your favorite holiday since you could remember. Birthdays weren’t that special for you, you didn’t enjoy the attention you received, even if it came from Tony or Pepper, and since you didn’t have many friends to celebrate it with when you were younger, it didn’t seem important. Christmas wasn’t your favorite either, your mom had passed away during that time and it didn’t bring good memories, they were always nice but nothing more than that, plus Tony had never bought the puppy you wanted so that contributed.

But, but, Halloween was a whole different story for you. You loved that you were able to be someone else each year and it had become a tradition for you to go trick or tricking with the best Halloween costumes ever. Most importantly, Tony would go with you and no one would recognize you since you would always wear a mask, it felt like you could be yourself and not “y/n Stark”, at least for one night of the year. The tradition had continued even when you were older, Tony agreed of going through the streets of New York in different costumes and go to pick up food and candy from any restaurant you wanted, later eating it at home. One of your favorite Halloween’s hand been when you had managed to take all the Avengers to do the same, it had ended up being one of your favorite days as you walked through Time Square with Steve dressed as Ironman, Natasha dressed as Y/N Stark, Bruce dressed as Thor, Thor as Clint, Clint as Bruce, Tony dressed as Spiderman, and you and Peter decided to dress as Black Widow and Captain America.

It was a great Halloween.

“I do know that,” MJ said as she wiggled her eyebrows. “I can’t wait to see what you come as”

“Ugh, I still have to plan it but hey, thank you for inviting me,” you said honestly with a smile.

MJ huffed. “Why wouldn’t I? You are a great friend”

You winced at MJ’s words as you turned around to watch Peter again discussing even louder, he seemed so exhausted and you felt your heart clenching. Yeah, a great friend that doesn’t tell the truth to her best friend, you thought to yourself as you stared at the soft boy.

Soon, MJ and you decided to leave Peter alone for a bit, Ned and Harley had already started the movie and you sat on the couch with a smile as you watched the large screen. Still, you would turn around towards the door, hoping Peter would come and he eventually did but he seemed so drain, if he had sat closer to you, you would have probably start playing with his hair but he sat far away from you and you didn’t want to be over him, guessing he wanted to be alone.

When the movie ended, MJ gave you the details of the party that was going to happen in about two weeks, Harley invited himself before he placed a small kiss on the corner of MJ’s lips and he said goodnight. Ned gushed about how great the night had been with the same excitement he had, regardless that it was already the other day. MJ thanked you for everything and told you to text her, and then Peter said goodbye.

He seemed so tired and upset, but you knew he was trying his best to hide it.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and work?” Peter stated as you walked them towards the elevator.

You shook your head. “I think we could use the night off”

Peter sighed and you felt the relief on his eyes as he stared at you for a moment. Deep down Peter had listened to you and MJ talking, not the whole thing but just bits and pieces, he knew that you knew, he had also caught you staring at him throughout the movie and he wished he would just go to you and cuddle, but the pangs of guilt and anger wouldn’t let him.

Gwen had said it was his fault, that he had been the one that hadn’t set the boundaries with you and if he wasn’t willing to do it then she would. She made Peter feel remorseful about the invitation, about the fact that he was hanging with you and he hated it, he hated knowing that although he assured Gwen and himself that nothing was happening between the two of you, he deep down knew he still had feelings for you.

“Thank you” he muttered with a smile as you kissed him on the cheek.

Peter felt his cheeks blushing as he said goodbye and entered the elevator with MJ and Ned, gaze still locked on you and yours locked on him.

But as soon as the doors close, you heard your phone vibrating from the kitchen. You walked towards the kitchen to see who it was and you froze at the text.

Felicia Hardy: see you tomorrow, Stark?

You smiled.

***

taglist: @spideylovin @fandomtrash100 @soullessbabee @liljennyx3

***

Can you tell that I wrote the final scene at 1:30 am?? It’s so late but I really wanted to get this out so I can start writing for the next chapter that’s going to be SOOOOO exciting. many of you had already notice he chemistry between felicia and y/n which i’m glad because that’s what i was going for and i hope their kiss made that tension justice. Felicia’s so much more than black cat so i wanted to add her backstory although i changed it a bit and now she got her revenge on her friend. Plus, there are already cracks that are more notable now between Peter and Gwen, that would hopefully be resolved in the next chapter. I’m really excited about this chapter, I poured my soul into showing y/n feelings for both Felicia and Peter. I really hope you like it!!

The new sneek peak for the next chapter is going to be on. the masterlist if you want to see what’s coming next!

please please please let me know your thoughts and opinions on this chapter and if you have ANY theories or comments I would love to see them!!! I’m already so happy with the love you have given to the last chapters, I really hope you like it! any feedback is well received and thank you so much!

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aimoosh-blog · 3 years

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BERSERK: A MASTERSTROKE IN VIOLENCE

Berserk is a series that is both influential and overlooked. This might sound pretentious to fans of the gory medieval anime, but hear me out. Despite having a long-running manga which was originally released back in the ‘90's, after two anime series, a trilogy of movies and various video game adaptations, Berserk still remains somewhat niche and obscure.

The series is known for its gruesome imagery and I would strongly advise that if you've experienced abuse or are easily affected by violent and distressing material, that this series simply isn't for you. However, it's this cycle of violence that makes Berserk so compelling.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and the Soulsborne series doesn't shy away from this. Hidetaka Miyazaki has openly discussed how Berserk inspired games like Dark Souls and Bloodborne and you don't have to look far to find Berserk's influence spread throughout the Souls series.

But when you think of your favourite hefty sword-wielding himbo, I'm sure Guts isn't the first to spring to mind. Before we get into the debate of who wore it better, let's talk about Berserk's creator.

The most distinct and memorable aspect of Berserk is the apparent pleasure the series takes with relishing visceral imagery which is brought to life by Kentaro Miura. Berserk's first volume was released in 1990 when Miura was twenty-two years old. At this point in his life, Miura was already experienced within the industry after having written his first manga at the age of ten and eventually self-publishing in 1982.

With his experience and indisputable style, Miura's abhorrent rendition of the numerous satanic beasts and mythological creatures that populate the bloodthirsty world of Berserk, are both horrifying and captivating. The series manages to succeed in simultaneously being horrendously violent and strikingly beautiful. This parallel is prominent throughout the story and feeds the reader/viewer with a morbid curiosity.

The first and most obvious juxtaposition can be found in Guts' and Griffith's appearance. If you put Berserk in front of a newbie, they would most likely assume that the androgynous Griffith was the series’ main hero.

With his petite frame, feminine features, and charismatic charm, he certainly looks the part of a typical anime protagonist. Especially when set side by side with Guts who's hulking physique, stoic disposition, and hardened exterior is a stark contrast to the Hawk of Light. But scratch the surface and you'd find something entirely different.

Once you pull back the curtain and look beyond his angelic façade, you'd uncover Griffith's selfish, almost sociopathic personality which is accompanied with an unyielding ambition to stop at nothing until he achieves his dream. In contrast, Guts’ intimidating appearance and seemingly aloof attitude are a front concealing a lonely and tormented individual.

Shrouded by death, Guts was born from the corpse of his executed mother and eventually discovered by a group of mercenaries, who find the infant beneath a hanging tree covered in blood and entrails. The baby is presumed to be dead until he begins to cry, to which prostitute Shisu immediately rushes to comfort the child and is permitted to keep the newborn by leader Gambino. The baby is given the name Guts after the gory manner in which he was found. However, many members of the group are unsettled by Guts’ arrival and consider it a bad omen.

Shisu had been deemed mad following her miscarriage and quickly became attached to Guts as a result. The pair seemed destined to meet but their happiness is tragically short-lived as three years later, Guts’ adoptive mother contracts the plague and dies while Guts watches over her. Unfortunately Shisu’s death only strengthens rumors about Guts’ reputation as a source of bad luck.

Guts promptly begins practicing swordsmanship and joins Gambino on the battlefield in an effort to gain approval. However, one night while Guts is sleeping in his tent, fellow sellsword Donovan, sneaks in and forces himself on the young boy. Guts later lures his abuser away and forces his sword down Donovan’s throat, killing him. No longer feeling safe, Guts begins to sleep clutching his sword.

Guts’ relationship with Gambino rapidly deteriorates following Shisu’s death. Gambino resents Guts for the subsequent loss of his leg and fixates on the misfortune that seems to have followed the boy. Gambino soon begins to verbally and physically abuse Guts, and consequently makes an attempt on Guts’ life. It’s in this moment that Gambino confesses that he had sold Guts to Donovan for the night.

Horrified by this revelation, Guts is forced to kill his paternal figure in an act of self-defence and is hunted down by Gambino's men. After narrowly escaping with his life and defending himself against a pack of wolves, Guts eventually falls unconscious. The cycle begins again as he is discovered and enlisted by a separate mercenary group where he becomes a child soldier.

After surviving battlefield to battlefield, Guts eventually crosses paths with the Band of the Hawk. Impressed by his skills, leader Griffith, openly expresses that he is eager for Guts to join the Band of the Hawk. Guts agrees to this proposal but only if Griffith defeats him in a duel. Much to Guts’ disgust, he is defeated and begrudgingly joins the new group of mercenaries. But soon finds himself at home among his companions within the Band of the Hawk and is swiftly promoted to Captain of the Raiders.

It is clear that Guts is conflicted in the first arc of the story. After years of coping with isolation and abuse, he is torn between carving his own path or sticking with the Band of the Hawk. It's safe to say that whether you read the manga or watch the anime, the series doesn't sugar-coat the trauma Guts is forced to endure. But despite everything, Guts still carries on and it’s his mental fortitude that makes him such a sympathetic character.

But after forming strong friendships and concealing an unrequited love, it's Guts' decision to leave the Band of the Hawk and break free of Griffith's control that ultimately leads to The Band of the Hawk's downfall.

Amidst this complicated bromance you have Casca. A seasoned warrior who commands the respect of The Band of the Hawk and is Griffiths right hand – that is until Guts steals the spotlight. This setup may sound like a clichéd love triangle but Casca plays a crucial role in Berserk. Without her, Guts would've likely given up following the aftermath of the eclipse. She is the driving force in the story, feeding Guts' lust for revenge.

If you're considering checking out Berserk, I can highly recommend the manga as the best way to consume the series, as you are able to see Miura hone his craft over the years and create some truly remarkable panels. Another benefit is that with over 300 chapters, you'll have more than enough content to keep you occupied. But if that's not your style you have a few options to choose from.

The Golden Age Arc Film Trilogy concisely summaries the first narrative arc, if you want to get up to speed quickly. The larger budget in the subsequent movies allows for less 3D animation and more stunning hand-drawn sequences. However, if you have the time and patience for it, the 1997 adaptation spares no details and has an alluring nostalgic 90's aesthetic, if you can forgive it being a little rough around the edges.

Whichever version you decide to pick if you still can't get enough, I would advise saving the 2016 Berserk anime for last. Not only because it takes place after the first arc and follows the aftermath of the eclipse, but fans of the series have openly criticised this version's cheap animation style that fails to do justice to Miura’s concepts.

As previously mentioned, Berserk is unashamed in its cruelty and some might say the series renowned violence is needlessly excessive. Although this may seem off-putting, Berserk also has it's softer moments. It's in these more subdued scenes that you're drawn deeper into the fascinating narrative.

If asked how best to describe the series, I would say that it's the love child of Japanese horror artist, Junji Ito and fantasy author, George R. R. Martin. The medieval-fantasy setting allows for breath-taking architecture and scenery which often resembles Salvador Dali's surrealist paintings, but inhabited with monsters from Hieronymus Bosch's famous works such as The Harrowing of Hell. It's this contrast that makes Berserk so bewitching, in the thick of all the violence, gore, and carnage, you have a tragic story bursting with drama, rivalry, betrayal, lost love, and most importantly, revenge.

But if The Last of Us Part 2 taught us anything about seeking revenge, it is that it comes at a high price. However, the story remains largely unfinished with the current hiatus and recent chapter having been released as far back as 2019, it's uncertain when we'll see how this revenge story will play out. Nevertheless much like the A Song of Fire and Ice series, having no ending has its positives...

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revolutionary-demosthenes · 4 years

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4th of July: John Laurens and Slavery, and why we shouldn’t idolize him

I’ve written several drafts of posts trying to explain John Laurens’s complicated relationship with slavery and, in a broader sense, how the hypocrisy of freedom for our country--while denying the freedom of enslaved people--has led directly to the situation we find ourselves in now, in terms of race in America.

I’ve struggled with even going there, because I’m trying to focus on the present now, not the past. But I firmly believe that America can only fix its present once we’ve faced our past. And I want this information on my blog. John Laurens was not a perfect man, not even close. He was an abolitionist, yes. But how he came to these views is complicated and his personal conduct towards African-Americans is often troubling. Too often, in fact, the racist ideas of his era are visible in his writings.

There’s lots out there about not glorifying or idolizing historical figures, such as Thomas Jefferson, Washington, and other slave-owners.

This is becoming particularly clear today, with the truth of violent systemic racism in America finally becoming more fully recognized. When people watch videos of a black man begging for his life under the knee of a policeman, that brutality becomes undeniable.

But John Laurens is often exempt from this “historical disclaimer” of sorts. In the world of the Hamilton fandom and even more broadly in history, he becomes The Abolitionist, a White Savior figure who abhorred slavery and fought for racial justice, no exceptions, no fine print.

But there is a fine print for John Laurens. And it is a vital one to examine, because it shows us the importance of carrying our beliefs into our personal lives, not just our political ones.

First, let’s acknowledge the circumstances John was born into.

South Carolina, where he was born in 1754, was a southern colony, and as such relied mainly on agriculture in its economy. The rich plantation owners were the pinnacle of society. Washington’s family is an example of one such rich and powerful plantation owning family. The wealth and standing in society of these men led to positions in the government. And a man who illustrates this perfectly is none other than Henry Laurens.

Henry Laurens, John Laurens’s father, was, despite his pleading to the contrary, a significant slave owner and slave trader. Though in his private life he claimed to dislike slavery, he co-owned the largest slave-trading house in North America, Austin & Laurens. It doesn’t matter what he thought, or claimed to think. What matters is what he did.

Henry Laurens owned between close to three hundred slaves. His attitude toward the treatment of his own slaves was dehumanizing, self-righteous, and willfully ignorant. He chose to look upon himself as a “good” slave owner, rather than actually face the horrors he was perpetrating. He wrote in a letter that he’d rather treat his slaves “with Humanity” and make “less Rice” than “submit to the Charge of one who should make twice as much rice & exercise any degree of Cruelty towards those poor Creatures who look up to their Master as their Father, their Guardian, & Protector.” What Henry is trying to say here (to my reading) is that he’d rather his plantation produce less of a crop and not work his slaves too hard than treat his slaves cruelly to produce more profit.

Henry Laurens, in an attitude that is all too familiar today, consistently chose to think of himself as an exception to the problem rather than as part of the problem. He was quick to talk up abolition and condemn cruel treatment of enslaved people. But when it came to his own slaves, he insisted that “my Servants are as happy as Slavery will admit of, none run away, the greatest punishment to a defaulter is to sell him.”

I don’t know how John’s mother, Eleanor Ball Laurens, viewed slavery, but she also came from a large slave-owning family. Even if she personally didn’t approve of the practice wholeheartedly, she benefitted directly from slavery and married someone in the slave trade.

So this is the life John Laurens was born into. A life of incredible privilege, sourced directly from the the slave trade and the labor of kidnapped and enslaved Africans. This is the first thing that needs acknowledging in terms of John’s relationship with slavery. He was able to accomplish much of what he did because of his social standing and wealth as the son of a very powerful South Carolinian, powerful mostly because of his standing in Southern society.

John was able to get his education in Europe because of slavery. He was able to use his father’s influence to become an aide-de-camp to George Washington. His social standing and quality of life all stood upon the backs of slaves.

Because of this background, John was exposed to the brutal truths of slavery since he could understand the world around him. Is this how he came into his abolitionist views? It absolutely could be. But it is more likely that John first became serious about abolition when he was taken to Europe for his education. He attended a school in Geneva, a cosmopolitan place that was very open to new ideas. Being an abolitionist was not considered as radical there as it was in the Southern Colonies, and there was more writing on the subject of abolition, including a poem by Thomas Day, an abolitionist patriot, whom John was friends with.

So John’s serious thoughts on abolition may have partly been a product of being away from a place where slavery seen as a part of life and being in a place which was more open to abolition. John may have thought slavery wrong for a long time, but lacked adequate support to be vocal about it.

Significantly though, John did not abandon his beliefs when he returned to America. He continued to be a vocal abolitionist, and unlike his father Henry, confronted actual slave owners and tried to convince them to free their slaves… including his boss, General George Washington.

He also converted Lafayette into an ardent abolitionist, and Lafayette, even after Laurens’s death, stuck to these beliefs. He later in life even bought a plantation and ran it with the labor of paid black people, to prove it could be done.

But once we get to the war, we must also talk about Shrewsberry.

John didn’t own slaves, technically. But his father dispatched two of his slaves to serve as John’s valets during the war, one of whom was named Shrewsberry. (Something to note: I am not sure if these slaves were paid or not. I would assume not, and I have yet to find a record of payment, if it did exist. But if anyone knows more about this, I would love to know the answer, as it’s an important question to think about.)

This alone would mar John’s “perfect abolitionist” image, but it gets more disturbing when you consider how John viewed and treated his valets. I should mention we don’t have a ton of evidence of their living conditions, but what we do have is distressing.

On to the primary evidence: if you read the correspondence between John and his father, a funny/not funny pattern is that John is always requesting clothes, fabric, hair powder, etc., from his father. He usually thanked his father for these items. But here is a quote from a letter John wrote to his father on December 15th, 1777: “Berry received a hunting shirt and a check shirt. If there be any difficulty in getting him winter clothes I believe he can do without.” So while John advocated for black Americans in his public life, his private conduct tells differently.

And this is further evidenced when, after Laurens’ death in 1782, Thadeus Kosciuszco wrote to Nathaniel Greene that John’s slaves (his father's technically, as explained above) were “nacked” and that they were in need of “shirts jackets Breeches.” (“nacked” meaning “naked.”)

While John Laurens was certainly more enlightened than the average man of his time on the subject of slavery, he still had trouble connecting his broader ideas of freedom and emancipation to his personal life. He also wrongly blamed Shrewsberry for the loss of a hat, writing to his father, “Shrewsberry says his hat was violently taken from him by some soldiers as he was carrying his horses to water. If James will be so good as to send him his old laced hat by the bearer I hope he will take better care of it.” The blame for this incident obviously lies upon the soldiers who stole Shrewsberry’s hat, but John acts like Shrewsberry was in the wrong, or somehow that having the hat “violently taken” indicated that Shrewsberry was not taking care of the hat. The automatic and unjust condemnation of Shrewsberry again speaks to how John did have the prejudices of his time period in his head, even as he fought against them in a broader sense.

Later in the war, John left Washington in favor of his home state, South Carolina. He wanted to raise a regiment of slaves to fight for the patriot cause, who would then be emancipated for their service. John had written his father about the idea earlier, saying,

“I would bring about a twofold good, first I would advance those who are unjustly deprived of the Rights of Mankind to a State which would be a proper Gradation between abject Slavery and perfect Liberty—and besides I would reinforce the Defenders of Liberty with a number of gallant Soldiers—Men who have the habit of Subordination almost indelibly impress’d on them, would have one very essential qualification of Soldiers—I am persuaded that if I could obtain authority for the purpose I would have a Corps of such men trained, uniformly clad, equip’d and ready in every respect to act at the opening of the next Campaign…”

Reading through this carefully, we can see some ideas expressed here that are important to note. Firstly, “proper Gradation between abject Slavery and perfect Liberty.” This means that though John did want to free the slaves, he did not think that black people should have the “perfect Liberty” that whites enjoyed. Additionally, when John writes, “Men who have the habit of Subordination indelibly impress’d on them” he is suggesting (to my reading) that because slaves were constantly treated as inferior, they would be good soldiers (I assume because soldiers have to obey their commanding officers.) Honestly, this reads to me like John wanting to take advantage of the cruelty slaves endured because “They’re used to it.”

Henry wrote back that what John was offering was hardly better than slavery, again assuming his attittude of “my slaves are happy.”

John wrote a long letter in return, explaining his reasoning and also basically being like, “dad please support me, dad, please.” But there are also some phrases here, in his letter defending his abolitionist views, that are revealing about the prejudices John harbored.

He writes, “I confess, indeed, that the minds of this unhappy species must be debased by a servitude, from which they can hope for no relief but death, and that every motive to action but fear, must be nearly extinguished in them.”

Note John’s reference to slaves as a “species” rather than a race. (And, by the way, race is a social construct, not an actual biological thing.) The belief that blacks and whites were separate species was common at the time, and often used by slave traders to justify their actions. And this bit of writing shows that even if John didn’t really believe this wholeheartedly, he at least had the idea in his head. However, later in the letter John does use “race” so it’s a little unclear what he actually believed.

And we can see the belief that black people were not as intellectually capable as white people, owing to their enslavement.

Gregory Massey puts it this way: “Young Laurens reasoned that blacks were not innately inferior to whites; rather, their apparent mental deficiencies resulted from generations of enslavement.”

John goes on, “I have had the pleasure of conversing with you, sometimes, upon the means of restoring [the slaves] to their rights. When can it be better done, than when their enfranchisement may be made conducive to the public good, and be modified, as not to overpower their weak minds?”

What sticks out here is, of course, the assertion that the slaves had “weak minds.”

Essentially, John thought that once black people were allowed to live free, “rescued from a state of perpetual humiliation” as he put it in the same letter, their nature would change to more like whites. Black Patriots and Loyalists: Fighting for Emancipation in the War for Independence by Alan Gilbert states,

“Nonetheless, John Laurens retained a slave-owner’s perspective about the psychology of blacks at the time. In a 1776 letter to his father, he ignored manifold black acts of resistance and their hunger to be free: ‘There may be some inconvenience and even Danger in advancing Men suddenly from a State of Slavery while possessed of the manners and Principals incident to such a State... too suddenly to the Rights of freedman. [T]he example of Rome suffering from Swarms of bad citizens who were freedmen is a warning to us to proceed with caution.’ [...] The son insisted, however, on the principal that slavery is simply wrong, the immoral shackling of another: ‘The necessity for it is an Argument of the complete Mischief occasioned by our continued Usurpation.’”

But the same book also says, “John Laurens was a practical abolitionist. Favored by nature and fortune, he chose no easy path. He could, for instance, have worked for Washington, recruited a company of white soldiers as his father urged, and still have advocated for the “public good.” Instead, he committed himself to the nobler course of fighting determinedly for abolition.”

However, “18th century abolitionist” usually did not mean someone who believed black and white people were equal and should have the same rights. It meant that you wanted to end slavery. The difference between these views often gets blurred for John Laurens. Saying that John Laurens was an abolitionist is accurate, but he probably did not believe that black and white people should have the exact same rights, at least not at first. That needs to be acknowledged. John was an abolitionist, but it is unclear how much equality he really wanted.

Only paying attention to his anti-slavery professional life also leads to the idea that it is safe to idolize Laurens, rather than critically examine his complex views on race. The idea forms that he is the one white man from the 18th century we can be fully proud of. The one we can say is our beautiful cinnamon roll without having to confront his relationship with slavery. The fact that John Laurens wanted to help enslaved people gain their freedom doesn’t change the ways in which he benefited from white supremacy, nor how he treated his personal servants, nor the racist ideas he expressed in some of his writings.

This does not mean Laurens was evil, or that you can’t like and admire parts of him. By the standards of other revolutionary figures, like the aforementioned Jefferson and Washington (and Madison and Hamilton to an extent*) Laurens was remarkably enlightened. But also, that in itself is terrible. Like, the idea of a “good guy” from the 18th century is still one that believed that black people had “weak minds” owing to their enslavement.

If we truly want to reckon with the racial sins of America, and how they originated, we need to see figures like Laurens for all they were. Not just the noble abolitionist, but also the inherently privileged white man whose righteous public crusade was enabled by the very system it sought to end, slavery. We also need to see him as the extremely wealthy young man who regarded the command of his servants as part of the natural order of his life.

I didn’t write this solely for history. John’s story is a reminder to all allies that actions based on our beliefs are important to make in our private lives, as well as public. Yes, it’s important to advocate for racial justice in our public and professional lives. But it’s also important to examine and be honest about our own forms of privilege and the ways in which we have internalized the racism of the world around us. All white people in America benefit from slavery and the systems it was built upon, even those whose forebears came to America long after slavery was abolished. I firmly believe that a step forward for racial justice in the US is simply to acknowledge privilege, because we cannot fix a broken system until we realize all the ways in which it is broken.

#John Laurens #slavery #abolition #Alexander Hamilton #I hope it came out okay #also I'm completely open to feedback #long post #Jefferson #Washington #Madison #founding fathers #4th of july #quotes #letters

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friendofhayley · 3 years

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I’m back after my hiatus from fanfiction, to give y’all the best multifandom recs of the fics I read this month. Shoutout to all content creators who helped us live to see the close of this year. This fic includes 15 fics for Sterek, Larry, Winteriron, and Geraskier. The starred ones put me through heaven and hell *chef’s kiss*.

Sterek (Teen Wolf)

1. Six Letter Word for Romance by @troubleiwant | domestic kink - omg there’s only one bed - soft Derek - oblivious idiots in love - 6k

Stiles definitely starts off thinking it’s fucking hilarious that Derek-sourwolf-Hale does crosswords and cares about scuffs on his furniture.

But at a certain point, and he can’t pinpoint exactly when, “fully functional adult couple” somehow becomes a massive fetish of his. Derek in sweats and bare feet, nudging his glasses up his nose while he does the Sunday crossword? Unff. Derek filling out forms to get some renovations on his property approved? Oh God, yes. Derek putting away groceries and bitching that the corner store was out of the right type of Greek yogurt? Take me now, Stiles thinks, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth.

This can’t be normal.

2. *Dirty Little Secret* by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | Cora & Stiles bffs - no one can resist the Stilinski charm - celebrity Derek - human au - 91k

“Holy shit, this is a date!” he blurted out, turning back to Derek wide-eyed. “This is a date! You intended for this to be a date, this was supposed to be a date!” He figured if he said it enough times, maybe he would believe it, but so far, no dice.

Derek was scowling again—seriously, did he want wrinkles?—but he just reached into one of the bags and pulled out a burger, checking what was written on the foil in sharpie before handing it over to Stiles.

“Of course it’s a date, what did you think this was?”

3. Can You Feel A Whole New Part of Your World? by @isthatbloodonhisshirt | i genuinely don’t look at authors names i just click i am sorry for spamming you but you write too good - neighbors Sterek - emotionally mature Stiles - the ideal fluffy world you’d want to live in - 53k

Can you hear me singing in the shower?” Stiles blurted out, because he had to know, now. If one of his neighbours had slid that note under his door, then it meant Parrish as another neighbour could hear him, too! He had to know if this was all a huge joke and one person had walked by and overheard him and decided to fuck with him.

Parrish gave him a weird look at the question, but answered anyway, making Stiles’ plans to leave the country speed up in his mind.

“Of course I can. You’re actually not bad. Though you have been singing a lot of Frozen lately, getting kind of tired of the soundtrack.”

4. Theory of Overprotective Canines by @petals42 | derek can turn into wolf - oblivious Stiles - future fic - mutual pining - 11k

Stiles is totally looking forward to living alone in his super cool apartment off-campus. He is. He is also very excited to bike to school every day, ready to set up an awesome game room, and definitely over his crush on Derek Hale. Completely over it.

Or at least he is until Derek decides he's moving in with him. And then turns out to be the perfect roommate. And then starts attending all his classes. As a wolf.

This is not going according to plan.

Larry (One Direction)

5. **The Changer and the Changed** by @homosociallyyours | literally the best fic of all time i want to live in there - girl direction - NYC ‘70s au - trans Zayn - the girls are so lovely - 59k

It’s the spring of 1977 and Harry Styles has just moved to New York City after graduating college. She knows she’s a lesbian. She just needs to figure out how to meet other lesbians.

Louis Tomlinson works at a popular women’s bookstore in the Lower East Side, Womon’s Direction, where she spends her days reading feminist literature, writing poetry, exchanging friendly barbs with her boss Niall, and dreaming of finding someone to love.

When Harry and Louis meet, their connection is instantaneous. Slowly but surely, Louis welcomes Harry into her community of women. Stonewall veteran and old school butch Niall; Liam, a land dyke who’s moved to the city for love; and Zayn, a lesbian musician who’s been ostracized by a vocal part of women’s community for being trans, welcome Harry with open arms, ready to help her find her place in New York City’s bustling lesbian scene.

6. others i’ve seen might never be mean (but they would never do) by @cherrylouvol6 | aaaaaaaa it’s lesbian When Harry Met Sally !!! - rom com - girl direction - coming out and first times - really great sex - 20k

Louis sighs.

“Do you remember what I said to you the first time we met?”

“That I’m naive and neurotic and would be hard pressed to ever find someone who could put up with me?” Harry snaps.

7. some things fade (some never do) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed | aaaaaa this story took me apart and back together again just like Louis and Harry - urban fantasy au - second chances - exes to friends to lovers - hurt/comfort - 25k

Matching tattoos. He’d never thought he’d be the type for tattoos to begin with, let alone matching or magical ones, but once Harry had put the idea in his mind it had never quite managed to disappear. And it had made sense. With their relationship a long distance one, this was simply another way of feeling close to one another. Of knowing where the other was, how they felt. It had made so much sense.

Back then.

8. we can take the long way home by @eleadore | i usually don’t rec my porn but there’s so much feels in this one - canon-divergent - kink discovery - friends to lovers - this was written in 2015 as a future fic but it felt like it was taking place now so good job - 27k

“Fertile,” Louis says, and then laughs because it sounds stupid to say out loud. He hasn’t ever really thought of himself in those terms. Baby-making terms. It’s just one of those things his body can do, like exercise, or go without tea. Doesn’t mean he will.

Winteriron (MCU)

9. **Dig No Graves** by @missaphelion | Tony finds out about his parents right after winter soldier au - Tony Stark has a heart - Bucky heals with bots and lots of sugar - slow burn - 142k

"I'm here to kill you, Terminator," Tony said slowly, "does that compute?"

The soldier looked up at him with wide blue eyes and no expression. "Okay."

Tony froze. "Okay," he echoed. "I tell you I came here to kill you and your response is 'okay'?"

10. A Rifling Matter by Penndragon27 | Winter Soldier has such a big crush on Tony’s weapons, he escapes Hydra au - identity porn - pining Bucky - fluff and angst - Winter Soldier is a fanboy and it’s cute - 37k

All the Asset knows is fighting, killing.

He also knows a good weapon when he sees one and Stark Industries... they make some great weapons.

11. *Winter is Coming (aka Fifty First Avengers Dates)* by @tisfan & @everyworldneedslove | enemies to friends to lovers to 50 first dates - pining Bucky - Tony gets amnesia - no Steve bashing but he’s a little bit of an ass - mental health issues - 109k

Bucky Barnes is still mostly The Asset, and he's pretty sure Hydra is going to come back for him soon, so in the meantime he's just going to keep an eye on the Avengers for them. But then Clint spotted him hiding in the shadows, so Tony came out and dragged Bucky back to the Tower, threw him in the shower, and fed him cheeseburgers.

Now The Asset is having anomalous feelings. In his pants.

Geraskier (The Witcher)

12. *no reason to run* by @yoursummerfrost | different meeting au - only one bed but camping - cursed Jaskier - soft Geralt!!!! - poly negotiations - 61k

"You'll change your mind one day," says the innkeep. "The road can't love you back."

What a strange way to flatten something so beautiful, Jaskier thinks. What a small way to love.

13. *He Fell into a Faerie Ring* by @geraltnoises | Jaskier gets bardnapped after the fight au - non-human Jaskier - soft Geralt - Jaskier encourages people to be kind and becomes a god - emotionally mature Geralt - 57k

Traders are a gossiping sort. If there was a scandal within the noble houses of Posada, you’d hear about it in Cretegor by the end of the week. So, the quick spread of a rumor about a little village in the Kestrel Mountain range was not at all surprising. What was surprising was the story that the traders wove. They said that Luibhtorrach, a sad, ghost of a farming town, had miraculously become a hub for trade, as if overnight. Their lands unbelievably fertile and brimming with crop. Even stranger, each and every one of Luibhtorrach’s people professed that their good fortune was the work of a mysterious beast they’d claimed as their personal deity. Most recent news foretold of their plans to throw a midsummer festival celebrating this newfound god. In preparation, silken blue banners were erected in every corner of the town, each bearing the symbol of their new patron: A delicate dandelion wrapping around a golden sun.

14. Barking Up the Wrong Tree by KHansen | 5+1 things - I’m worried about Geralt’s skills - non-human Jaskier - monsterfucker Geralt - crack treated seriously - 11k

Geralt is 100% certain that Jaskier is a vampire.

He's 100% proven wrong.

15. Bardic Idyll by Lisztful | fake relationship - Geralt is soft and oblivious - pining - fluff and angst - Jaskier you can’t show your emotions mainly through song! - 13k

Jaskier is certain he can win the Continent's annual bardic competition, but he needs to be accompanied by a dashing romantic companion in order to enter. Enter Geralt, who is definitely, for sure, only interested in the free food, and not at all in staring lovingly into Jaskier's eyes.

#monthly fic rec #fic rec #sterek fic rec #larry fic rec #winteriron #geraskier #larrie hijinks #witcher #mcu

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oceanera12 · 2 years

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Alfred Pennyworth, the First Vigilante

Just had the weirdest/best idea for a Batman AU.

Alfred Pennyworth is a young, brilliant, and skilled agent of MI-5 when a mission went wrong leaves him badly injured and benched from service for some time. Shortly after this, Alfred gets a call about the sudden death of his father. He quickly travels to Gotham for the funeral arrangements.

Upon his arrival, his father's lawyer approaches him with the final will and wish. The will leaves a substantial amount of money with wishes to donate to this and that charity and a small inheritance for his son and his teen granddaughter. The wish, however, is an odd one. A request for Alfred to become the Wayne's new butler.

Alfred really doesn't want to, but since it's his Father's dying wish and he doesn't exactly have a job at the moment (walks with a cane while recovering and does not want to do a desk job), Alfred applies and is immediately hired.

Bruce is already born and about six years old. He very much misses the old "Mr. Pennyworth", but likes the new one well enough.

Alfred stays as a butler for about a year and a half (which was longer than he intended to but he had grown to really like Bruce and decided to push his leave date back a few months). He's intending to leave within a week or so when--

We all know the story so why bother repeating it?

Suddenly, Alfred finds himself as the guardian of a very young and depressed eight-year-old. Alfred cannot return to Britain now, even if he wanted to leave the boy completely alone.

So!

Alfred, being ex-military, probably raised Julia in a very strict and stern manner. Julia (who's probably fifteen to sixteen and living in Britain with her Mom) is the only child that Alfred has raised.

Also, Alfred's been the butler for a little less than two years now, and is a bit younger than he is in comics (I'm thinking mid-thirties) so while he knows how he's supposed to act around his "employers", this is a freaking orphaned child and Alfred's going to raise this kid right.

One problem: Bruce is obsessed with his parents' killer. Which, yeah, that's fair, however, it's causing a lot of problems and issues in school, at home, with his friends, sleep schedule, social life, etc.

Alfred being... well, Alfred, comes to the conclusion that the best way to deal with this is to find the Wayne's killer. Of course, he does not exactly have jurisdiction or authority to do such a thing. BUT--!

No one knows, outside of Bruce, that Alfred was MI-5. So he plays the part of the patient, loyal, and kind butler. He drops in every few days on the only "clean cop" (Gordan) for "any information he can give Bruce, the poor chap isn't sleeping well with a killer on the loose," and goes out on "shopping trips" (investigates some shifty bars and alleys) and is always willing to volunteer at the local food shelter (the homeless of Gotham are the first to know everything).

After a month or so, Alfred finds Joe Chill. He promptly knocks the guy out, calls the police with an anonymous tip, and returns home to wait for a call from Gordon.

Chill's arrested, tried, and imprisoned. Bruce expresses how he wants Chill dead, which Alfred does not approve of. Cue teenage years of Alfred training Bruce about being a soldier and such.

No idea if Alfred continues to track down specific cases (a little girl's body is found somewhere in Bristol and Alfred figures out which sicko on the block is responsible while also leaving a paper trail that even the corrupt cops cannot ignore) or if Chill was his only time he did this.

But, I think it definitely affects Bruce and his whole "Batman" thing. Maybe it happens sooner (as Alfred teaches Bruce how to properly fight someone when he's younger) or maybe Bruce doesn't run to Ras Al Ghul for training, who knows?

Any thoughts on how this ends because I have nothing. Just love the image of Special Agent Pennyworth hunting down a killer in Gotham and rocking it.

#batman #batman au #au's galore #alfred pennyworth #bruce wayne #bruce wayne and alfred pennyworth #alfred kicks butt #and will kill you #he's just too polite to do so

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aquietwritingcorner · 3 years

Text

Writers Month Day 8: Water Word Count: 4316 Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl Rating: T Characters: Olivier Mira Armstrong, Captain Buccaneer Warning: Summary: Buccaneer isn’t sure of his new commanding officer. She’ll have to prove to him that she’s Briggs. Notes: Yes, I know that Olivier is a Major General and not a Brigadier General. I headcanon that she started out at Briggs as a Brigadier General and then was promoted to a Major General later. I gave the name Wendall to the guy Olivier gave the broken watch to in the series. I also headcanon that Buccaneer was there before Olivier, and he didn’t lose his arm until sometime after Miles arrived and the three of them had become close. AO3 || ff.net

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Water

Captain Cromward “Ward” Buccaneer watched as his new commanding officer went through her sword forms. He still wasn’t sold on Brigadier General Olivier Mira Armstrong. She hadn’t proven herself to him yet. Briggs was a harsh place, and for all her seeming strength and even the slight incidents that she had led them through, she still hadn’t proven to him that she was Briggs material yet.

Buccaneer had been at Briggs since his early career. Briggs was where the military sent people they didn’t want to deal with. They hadn’t wanted to deal with him, and his unconventional way of doing things. They hadn’t wanted to admit that his way in the mountains—a lot of which came from the ways of his ancestors, who lived in those mountains before either Amestris or Drachma—just might be better than theirs. So, they had stuck him out here and told him to go play mountain bear in the mountains. That had been fine by him. He excelled up here.

There were lots of people who had been up here for years. Mick Murray had probably been here the longest. Wendall had been here the second longest. Henschel had been here just a couple of years longer than Buccaneer. Doc had come the year after he had arrived, after their old Doc finally kicked the bucket. Neil had come two years after that, even though there was minimal use for an automail mechanic up here. Automail and Briggs temperature didn’t mix well. Their old commander had been here for years as well. Buccaneer had been here when he arrived and wasn’t surprised that he was still here when he left.

Their old commander had been a drunk of a general, too caught up on how he had been exiled to really care about the fort or the men. He did his duty, but that was about all he did. Buccaneer took care of training the new troops that came up, and between him, Murray, Wendall, Henschel and Doc, they managed to keep the fort running well enough to get by. Command sent them just enough supplies to get them through until the next shipment, but everyone knew that they considered Briggs little more than cannon fodder to slow Drachma down and raise the alarm for Northern Command.

Buccaneer had been sure that their old commander knew that too, and it was part of the reason he drank so heavily. Better to die drunk here than not, he’d told Buccaneer a few times. After all, they were all aware that the way most people left Briggs was in a body bag. Few people retired, and fewer people were reassigned. Buccaneer had been sure their old commander was going to be here until he killed himself with alcohol poisoning.

And then he had been sent a retirement letter, and she had been sent to them.

Buccaneer had been suspicious of her from the moment she stepped out of that car. He was familiar with the name “Armstrong.” An old Amestrian family with a strong military history. They were pure Amestrian through and through, high society at that. She had fit the bill, too. Blond hair kept back in a bun. Piercing blue eyes. Full, pink lips. A voluptuous figure. And a condescending attitude on top of that. She didn’t look like Briggs material; she looked like someone who had ridden a family name to the rank of general.

Although, Buccaneer had to admit that she wasn’t as bad as he expected. Her welcoming speech had proved that. She had slammed her sword down on the ground and proclaimed that she would turn Briggs into the finest military institution there was, and make the Drachman forces fear them. She expected all of the men at Briggs to put their all into their work, and she wasn’t going to coddle any of them. It was shape up or ship out. And then she had walked away. It had left everyone blinking and not exactly sure what to make of it or of her.

None of that had been cleared up when she met with Buccaneer, insisting on going through the six-week survival training with him, and declaring it mandatory from then on out. She had also spent the next three months after that working every job Briggs had to offer. She wanted to know how the fort ran from the bottom up, she had told Buccaneer. A good leader, she had insisted, understands the tasks of his subordinates. A good leader knows what the jobs take. She wanted to know and understand all of it.

It had, Buccaneer admitted, softened the men towards her a bit. She was far different from their previous commander. She, at least, appeared to care about them. She was also working on shoring up neglected parts of the fort and making plans to make it more self-sustainable. Buccaneer had heard her making waves on the phone to get what she wanted.

But even with all of that, he still wasn’t sure that she was Briggs. Briggs was more than knowing the troops, or getting things done, or learning a job. There was something much deeper to it than that, and he wasn’t convinced that she was the right material for the job. He was pretty sure she was a good commander, but he wasn’t sure that she was Briggs.

Briggs was solidarity, because no one else was going to look out for them, but each other. Briggs was knowing the soldier next to you, being willing to die for him, and him for you. Briggs was knowing everyone had secrets and baggage, and not asking or caring about it. Briggs was their own culture and traditions, with morbid, off the wall humor that made no sense to anyone else. Briggs was grit and determination. Briggs was knowing that you had a duty to perform, and no one would ever give you credit for it. Briggs was being willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of the fort.

Their old commander had led them through more than a few Drachman attacks. But he had never been Briggs. General Amrstrong had led them through some incidents as well, but that didn’t mean that she was Briggs either. She had yet to prove her loyalty to the fort—to the men who sacrificed for the fort.

“Captain Buccaneer, sir?”

Buccaneer looked away from their new general as a sergeant walked towards him. Smicht, Buccaneer recalled.

“Yes, Sergeant?” Buccaneer answered.

“Here’s the latest reports from the patrols.” The Smicht handed the reports over to him.

Buccaneer looked through them and frowned. There was increased Drachman activity in the contested area. That was never a good sign. He had noticed that it had picked up a bit since Armstrong had arrived. Was Drachman feeling her out, the same way the men were? It was a possibility. And if Drachma attacked in full without Briggs having full confidence in their commander, it could be a problem.

“Thanks,” he said. He looked back down at Armstrong. “I’ll let the general know.”

Smicht saluted, and then left, and Buccaneer considered Armstrong again. He had his own ideas on how to deal with this, but he was interested to see what she wanted to do. He headed down to the lower level of the gym, and towards her.

What she wanted to do, it turned out, was investigate the areas of report herself. Buccaneer organized a patrol, but he bristled as he did it. Did she not think the Briggs scouts were accurate? They were well trained—he had seen to it himself. They knew how to tell what was what in the frozen forests of Briggs. But he didn’t argue with her. Instead, he went too, wanting to keep an eye on this woman.

He, General Armstrong, and patrol unit left the fort, all in full winter gear. The general had not needed any assistance in putting it on, but Buccaneer did notice her scowling a bit at her hat as the bun she kept her hair in would make it ride up in the back and down in the front. Still, she didn’t let it impact her as they walked, her sharp eyes darting about. Buccaneer approved of that, at least. Staying alert out here was paramount.

They walked until they reached the latest area that the Drachman forces had been seen at. It was closer to the fort then the others, as if Drachma was creeping increasingly closer. The patrol approached it cautiously, on guard for anything. Buccaneer stuck close to Armstrong as she examined the area. She looked around at the snow and at the trees around it. Her frown deepened as she did.

“…There’s something not right here,” she finally said.

“What do you mean, sir?” Buccaneer asked.

“I mean that something isn’t right.” She paused. “Do you notice anything unusual about the snow?”

Buccaneer frowned and looked at the snow. It seemed pristine. In fact, it seemed a little too pristine. “There’s no debris,” he said. “No tracks either. And it seems… smooth.” He was impressed. That wasn’t something that just anyone would have caught.

She nodded. “As if someone had come and put it down for some reason.” She scowled. “I don’t like this.” She looked back at Sergeant Gennis, their radio man. “Call back to the fort. Have them send some men out here with shovels. I want to see what’s under this snow.”

“Yes, sir!” Gennis said.

“You think they’re burying something here?” Buccaneer said.

“It’s a possibility,” she replied. “At the least, they did something near here, and I want to know what.”

There was bite and determination in her voice, and Buccaneer almost felt a grin start to form. He did like that. The general wasn’t through, though. She made them visit each of the locations, and each time the snow was just as unusual. Even if it wasn’t as pristine as the first place they visited, it was clear that the snow had been moved and replaced at some point. More teams were called in to dig and see what they could find.

It was at the location of the one furthest from the fort, the first place that the patrols had spotted the Drachman troops, that they took a break and stopped moving. Mostly, it was because there was no clear place to go on to, or at least, not that Buccaneer could see. However, the general hadn’t ordered them back yet, instead looking at a map, frowning over it.

“…Buccaneer,” she said, beckoning him over with her voice alone. “You know this land better than I do. I want your assessment.”

That wasn’t something he expected, but he came over to look at the map with her. “Yes, sir?” he questioned.

“These are the areas where patrols were seen,” she said, pointing out the areas on the map, “and these are the unusual areas we’ve found. Where do you think they’re likely to go next?”

Buccaneer frowned as he looked at the map and considered the area. Maps, he felt, were useful, but they weren’t the same as knowing the area yourself. Maps didn’t tell you where the tree lines and bushes were thickest, or where you knew the snow liked to pile up and hide hollows in the wintertime, or areas where the river froze and where it didn’t. That sort of thing required on the ground experience.

“…If I were them,” he said, looking down the locations on the map, “I’d say… probably here. Its closer still to the fort, and there’s a small clearing in the forest there. It would be a good place to do whatever they’re doing.”

The general nodded. She looked at the map, and tugged her hat further down on her ears as she did, her bun making the hat ride up again. “And how would you think that they’d get there?” She asked him.

Buccaneer considered the map again. “I’d go along the river. It’s rapid enough that it’s not all frozen up this time of year. Parts of it still flow.”

“Which parts?”

“Here… here… and here, specifically. Those areas don’t freeze up until the thick of winter.”

The general nodded and fixed her hat again. Buccaneer couldn’t take it anymore.

“Begging the general’s pardon, but why don’t you just take off the hat? Or take your hair down and tuck it inside your coat if you’re afraid the color might give you away? The hat might stay better that way.”

She huffed and thrust the map into his hands. “I’d rather it just function as it was supposed to,” she growled, but after a moment of fussing with it, just reached up and pulled several pins out of her hair instead, letting down the long blonde locks. Buccaneer blinked at her. If he thought it might make her look a little softer, he had been wrong. If anything, she looked more intimidating with her hair down.

“Alright,” she said as she settled the hat back onto her head. “Let’s go. I want to check that area out. If nothing else, we can get a watch on it. And get some men out here to dig.”

“Yes, General!” Gennis said, already turning to the radio.

“Buccaneer. You know these forest best?” It wasn’t a question.

“Of the ones here, yes, sir,” he replied.

“Then you lead the way, Captain.”

That was, again, not something that Buccaneer had expected. It made sense, sure, but a woman like her didn’t seem the type to let anyone else lead. Armstrong was just adding up to one big puzzle in his mind.

He didn’t have much time to dwell on it, though, as he took point, leading them through the forests the quickest way he knew how. As they traveled, Armstrong asked him questions about the forest, and what he knew of it. He answered them, and she seemed to take in everything he said. As they drew closer to their target, though, Buccaneer gestured for everyone to quiet down. The general looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I think there’s something up ahead,” he whispered, just low enough for her to hear. “Animals and birds aren’t around as much.”

She nodded, taking that into consideration and gestured for them to retreat a bit. “There might be something ahead,” she said. “We’ll split. Circle and see what’s there. No one act without orders or action from myself. We observe first, then act. Understood?”

There were saluted all around, and then she glanced at Buccaneer. It took him a moment to realize that she meant for him to pair the men off. He did so, quickly figuring out who would work well with each other. They all split, and Buccaneer lost sight of Armstrong as they moved.

He was, unfortunately, right, and as they drew closer to the edge of the riverbank, a group of Drachman soldiers stood there, unloading something. He couldn’t quite tell what it was, and he was far enough away that what little he could hear he couldn’t translate, not with his rusty skills. Still, he watched as they unloaded things from three thin boats, and moved them further up the hill, just past a slight area of rapids that the boats wouldn’t have been able to navigate even if they weren’t going against the current and slightly uphill. He was just about to gesture to the Warrant Officer he was with to move in slightly when there was a crack that caught everyone’s attention, and Private Shaw came sliding out of the tree line from the opposite side and towards the Drachman soldiers.

Immediately, the Drachman soldiers raised their guns, and just as immediately General Armstrong was bursting out of the forest herself. Buccaneer took that as permission enough, and he came up out of the tree line as well, the warrant officer close behind him. He roared, frightening the Drachman soldier closest to him, one that was still retrieving an object out of the boat. Buccaneer grabbed him and tossed him into the river, its frigid waters sweeping him away. He kept his focus on Shaw, though. They had to get him out of there!

He didn’t, it seemed, need to worry. With quick, fast steps, almost faster than Buccaneer thought possible, General Armstrong had made her way towards the Drachman soldiers, putting herself between them and Shaw. Her hand had pulled her sword so fast he barely saw the glimmer of it before she was cutting down one Drachman soldier. She had barely finished with him, before she was moving onto another, cutting him down with a powerful blow. She reached Shaw and hauled him up by one hand.

The poor kid looked scared to death, and she snapped something at him. Much to Buccaneer’s surprise, whatever she said seemed to bolster the kid, and he toughened up. But Buccaneer had his own problems, and so did the rest of the team. This was quickly devolving into a firefight, and one they had to be careful in, unless they wanted to hit their own men.

Buccaneer was just dispatching the men who came after him, when he heard shouts that sounded different from the troops further up the hill. There only appeared to be one Drachman soldier left alive, and he yelled something out that Buccaneer couldn’t translate and picked up one of the objects that they had been carrying up. The general, it seemed, understood exactly what the man was saying, and her eyes widened as she yelled for everyone to get out of there. Not wasting any time, the members of the small group did just that, the general included.

At least, until she saw Eartless on the ground. Buccaneer saw him too. He was bleeding from his thigh. Something must have gotten him there earlier. Both Armstrong and Buccaneer made their way towards him. Armstrong shoved him into Buccaneer’s arms, even as the last survivor of the Drachman party stood and yelled something out, hands poised to throw one of the things they had been unloading down at the group. In a flash, the General was gone, bounding back up the hill, her sword at the ready. Buccaneer got the wounded soldier down the hill to the others but turned back to watch this new general.

“Sir!” the warrant officer interrupted his thoughts. He had one of the objects and was examining it. “They’re bombs! Landmines!”

Buccaneer’s head jerked back towards Armstrong. In a flash, he knew. He knew that she knew, and that she was the best bet for stopping this madman from taking out her soldiers, and that she knew it and acted without hesitation. Her footwork bounded solidly, although, the soldier was quick as well. He moved, and it was almost as if General Armstrong didn’t see it. Her first strike missed him. She jerked her head, her hat falling off, her hair flowing down, and went for a second strike. The second on didn’t miss and the soldier went down, falling back into the pile of landmines. Armstrong turned to run, but it wasn’t quite fast enough. She was barely starting down the hill when the entire stack of landmines exploded behind her. It sent her tumbling down—and right into the icy waters of the river.

“General!”

Buccaneer yelled out for her, even as she hit the waters. It would only take a matter of seconds before she was swept too far down stream. He rushed to the bank. It was likely the rapids would funnel her this way. He just needed to—

There!

He spotted the blond locks and, without hesitation, plunged his arm into the icy river, making a grab for that hair. He felt his hand tangle around it, felt the tug of it stopping momentum, felt her hand come up to his, trying to relieve some of the pressure on her scalp.

He didn’t let go, just pulled on her by her hair enough that he could get a grip on something else, like her shoulder. He seized on something more solid than her hair the moment he could, and her head broke the surface, gasping and sputtering. He used both hands and pulled, pulling her out onto the bank of the river.

She was soaked, freezing, and violently shivering. She tried to say something, but she was far too cold to be able to do much more than gasp. Buccaneer stripped off his coat and wrapped it around the general.

“We’ve got to get her back to Doc now!” He said. “Shaw, Gennis, Bonoff, stay here, and get what’s left. Eartlesss, Nico, we’re going back to the fort. Nico, stick with Eartless. Gennis, call ahead and tell them what to expect!”

There were quickly snapped out “yes sir!”s all around, and then Buccaneer lifted the ice cold General up in his arms. Her wet hair was clinging to her, her pink lips were already turning blue, and there was something foggy in her eyes that she was clearly trying to fight.

There was no more time.

Buccaneer booked it back to the Fort the quickest he ever had, doing all he could to keep her warm. She kept trying to say things, as if she were trying to talk, but Buccaneer knew from experience that the waters this time of the year were mind-numbingly cold.

“I was wrong about you,” he said as they ran. “I wasn’t sure you were Briggs. But you risked your life for Shaw, Eartless, and the rest of us. You tried to stop that Drachman from throwing one of those landmines at us. You were willing to sacrifice it all for us.” He glanced at her. “That’s the Briggs way.”

She looked up at him from the folds of his coat—a coat that he could already feel turning wet—and for a brief moment, he met her eyes. There seemed to be understanding in them, even through her violent chills.

Buccaneer knew these forests and mountains like the back of his hand, and he knew them in every season too. He took the shortest route back to the fort, but even with that, and the added layers of Eartless and Nico’s coats, Armstrong’s skin was taking on a blue cast, her shivering had slowed, and her awareness seemed to be fading. Her hair stopped dripping water, but instead made small noises as the strands froze, along with the wet coats, and Buccaneer’s own arms.

As the fort came into view, Buccaneer could hear a lookout calling out, and then one of the lower doors was opened. He rushed through cleared hallways with the general in his arms, ice decorating both of them. He delivered her straight to Doc, who was on one of the lower and more interior areas of the fort. As soon as he laid her on the bed, Doc and a nurse were unwrapping the coat and starting on the general’s icy clothes.

“Go get yourself warmed up and dried off,” Doc ordered him, keeping her focus on the frozen woman under her hands.

“Will she be alright?” Buccaneer asked.

“Probably. I’ll let you know when I know. Now leave.”

Doc hadn’t slowed once while she was talking, even though she was getting to the lower layers of the general’s clothing. Buccaneer knew from experience that she wasn’t going to slow down or stop to protect the general’s privacy, not with her life on the line, and so Buccaneer left.

He told a lieutenant to find out the status of the teams out there, and report it to him, and then Buccaneer left for the showers. The best way to warm up was going to be to get out of his cold and damp clothes, get a warm shower, and then change into something dry. It didn’t take him long, and as soon as he was finished, he went back to stand outside of sickbay, taking the reports there and waiting to see what Doc’s word on the injured general and soldiers was.

It was a few hours before Doc came out and, seemingly unsurprised to find him there, gestured him in.

“Eartless is going to be fine,” she said, “He took a shot to the thigh. Too deep to be called a graze, but still not enough to bring too much concern. I’m putting him on light duties until I’m satisfied with its healing.”

“And General Armstrong?” Buccaneer asked.

“She’ll be fine as well. She definitely was hypothermic, but it’s nothing that can’t be reversed. We’ve already got her body temperature back up into a low but acceptable range. She’s also got some bruising and I’m worried about the possibility of a slight concussion because of how hard she hit that water. I’m going to have her here overnight, and then recommend rest and limited exposure to the cold for the next few days.” Doc glanced up at Buccaneer. “Eartless told me what she did.” Doc’s lips quirked up in a smile. “Sounds like she really put her all out there.”

“Yeah,” Buccaneer said, and he didn’t bother to hide the relief in his voice. “Can I--?”

Doc waved her hand at him. “Go. Just keep it quiet.”

Buccaneer nodded, and moved back to the curtained off area that the general was in. He pushed the curtain aside and looked at her. She was sleeping, covered in several heavy blankets, her hair spread out to dry, and a portable heater turned on her. Buccaneer watched for a moment, the pure-Amestrian, blonde haired beauty with a sword that they had been sent. For a moment, he just stared. And then, he turned, and stood at ease beside her bedside, keeping guard over his general. She was Briggs. She had proved that. And she had earned his loyalty.

#writersmonth2021 #captain buccaneer #Olivier Mira Armstrong #fma #Fullmetal Alchemist #fma fanfic #fullmetal alchemist fan fiction #Fort Briggs

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aliveanddrunkonsunlight · 3 years

Text

physical touch

there are both intimate and non-intimate touches that can and should be used to show your partner love; Jaime/Brienne + love languages, based off @observedchaos‘ post

For @naomignome

Author’s Note: NSFW; These do not all take place in the same timeline, I intended them as separate moments in a variety of post-canon or canon divergent settings.

The singing and camaraderie of the soldiers’ camp has quieted for the night. Brienne keeps the lantern in her tent burning low. When a hooded figure lifts one of the tent flaps, she doesn’t startle.

“Never at rest.” He clicks his tongue. “You should sleep before the battle tomorrow, elsewise you might fall off your horse.”

She nearly replies that she does not ride a horse. “Are you here for a detente, Lannister?”

“You know what I’m here for, Commander Tarth.” Jaime lets the hood he’s wearing drop, revealing that ingratiating smile she knows so well, but which still makes her stomach swoop. This is not the first time they have crossed enemy lines to be together, not even the fourth or fifth, but they have found a firm line, at least for now, between duty and passion.

He approaches the desk where she spends many a late night, working or writing letters to inform Sansa and others in the North of their movements. She sends letters to Tarth, too, hoping one day for an answer. Last she heard, pirates crawled the shores, the island invaded by a pretender who claimed to have Targaryen blood.

His hand brushes down the long column of her neck, making gooseflesh break out on her arms. “So much tension here,” he murmurs, fingertips tracing at the juncture where her neck and shoulders meet. The muscles there are swollen, from her heavy armor, and from all the burdens she carries from commanding men. It makes her posture strained and her body is always tightly coiled, ready to spring into action.

Jaime’s touch is capable of washing all of the stress away. She has become addicted to it. His fingers push against the muscle, rolling it between his fingers as Brienne lets her head fall to the side, giving him more room to work. He drops his mouth there, warm and gentle.

He has barely begun and already she vibrates with want. It quickens in time with her heartbeat, threatening to break free of her physical body. Brienne pushes back her chair, standing and embracing him, the heat of him so close quelling her desire for a moment, igniting it the next. They strip clothes from one another, fumbling fingers accompanied by soft laughter and contented sighs.

The most alive she ever feels is on the battlefield with a sword in her hand, stepping forward to defend others, to do her duty, but being with Jaime makes her feel alive in a whole new way. At first, she hated herself for it, but knowing he feels the same way, it gives her a sense of power when they are together.

When he drops to his knees, her legs tremble in anticipation. She says his name, only once, and his breath burns along her inner thigh as he shakes his head. They cannot use each other’s names, although to claim they are quiet would be a lie. Her hands rake through his hair as his tongue makes her whole body quiver in pleasure. His left hand grips her leg, holding it away from his head, but as she gets closer, her thighs begin to tighten around him. He lets out a grunt of approval and the sensation of his lips buzzing against her cunt sends her over the edge, hips moving of their own accord, a long cry falling out of her as Jaime continues to nip and suck at the tender skin of her inner thighs.

She grips her fingers in his hair and pulls his head back, forceful but not rough. He blinks at her, a bemused smile spreading across his face. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, I...” she falters and his grin grows even wider that he’s made her forget herself. “Come up here and fuck me.”

“I thought that’s what I was doing,” he replies innocently.

“You’re not…” A smirk slides across his face as he pushes himself up off of his knees. “You’re incorrigible.” It is meant to sound stern, but she laughs as he steps into her, arm slipping around her waist and presses her back against the mattress as he kisses her.

Her gut tightens when she sees him across the battlefield. He always rides in on horseback, his crimson cloak swirling around him, looking like someone out of the songs.

She is a foot soldier, and standing ground with her men, loses sight of him in the fervor of fighting, the singing of steel. The battle feels like hours, but it may only last a few minutes, all she knows is the next time she looks up, most of the Lannister troops have fled the field. All except one, his blond hair flecked with mud and blood. He drops to a knee in front of her. “I yield, Commander Tarth.” Brienne is so shocked she does not know what to say. “It would be an honor to serve under you, my lady.”

Later, she shows him exactly how best he can serve her.

#jaime x brienne #fic: physical touch #love languages

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antoine-roquentin · 3 years

Link

The popular conception of chivalry, as a moral code guiding the behavior of honorable knights, is flat-out, laughably wrong. That’s a creation of 19th-century authors like Walter Scott, and the popular fantasy authors (basically up until George R.R. Martin) who built on their worldview in the 20th.

In reality, chivalry was all about one particular version of Guys Being Dudes. Chivalry could refer to a few different things, but the most common meaning was simply battlefield deeds, executed with some style. This, what knights referred to as “prowess,” was at the core of the broader ideology of chivalry: raw, bloody, physical performance, violence done effectively and to an agreed-upon aesthetic standard. The second major concern of chivalry, honor, grew directly out of the first. Honor wasn’t an abstract concept to medieval knights; it was a possession, a recognition of their particular status and place in the social hierarchy, which they were well within their rights to violently defend and assert through their prowess. Piety was the icing on the cake, but no knight really doubted that God approved of their actions.

An oral culture, passed around during training sessions and drinking bouts and feasts and military campaigns, produced this culture and inculcated new knights into it. A whole universe of texts, the kinds of things knights read or had read to them, sent the same message, like this 12th-century poem called Girart de Vienne:

When I see the whinnying war-steeds plunge

With worthy knights into a battle’s crush,

And see their spears and cutting blades well struck,

There is nothing on earth I love so much!

These were dudes who loved getting after it, and for them, getting after it meant blood-soaked deeds on the battlefield. It’s not that there was nothing more to it - sure, there were some bits about romance and ladies, debates about religiosity and moral actions, exhortations to do better - but the core was always physical, male violence. And it obviously wasn’t for everyone: Knights were members of a hereditary military aristocracy, and their possession of chivalry was what set them apart from dirty peasants.

Two aspects neatly parallel modern Bro Culture: first, the emphasis on physicality and the body, and how that provided both a sense of the self and secured social status; and second, the restricted, bubble-like world that produced and emphasized it, with its fictional and real heroes, its stories about great deeds, its values, and its models to be emulated. Your average knight would absolutely identify with and appreciate this impossibly toxic meathead sentiment:

Obviously, there are pieces that don’t neatly parallel, the biggest ones being the hereditary and explicitly military nature of chivalry. You don’t have to be a soldier to be a Bro, though it doesn’t hurt. And - much more important - you aren’t born into being a Bro; you become one, by doing worthy deeds of prowess.

That’s a quintessentially American value: the idea that anybody can make something of themselves if they work hard enough, move enough weight, run fast enough, practice enough to shoot a tight grouping, make the right sacrifices. The physical meritocracy (and its potential rewards of fame and fortune) is open to anyone willing to do whatever it takes to climb the ladder. Even the least intellectually gifted meathead can make something of himself if he does the workouts, takes the right gear, and builds his audience on YouTube and Instagram. Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and smash that follow button.

In a moment of stagnant social mobility, rising inequality, and incredible uncertainty around the future, this strongly visual message of self-betterment and improving one’s socioeconomic status through literal sweat can resonate deeply. It’s all within the individual’s control, if they simply work enough - an antidote to all that uncertainty, everything that’s so obviously beyond an individual’s control and reckoning, no matter how misleading and incomplete the formula actually is.

That’s especially appealing to the many millions of American men who don’t have college degrees (many more of them than women, given the gendered trends in undergraduate enrollment) who are effectively locked out of professional-managerial culture and its straightforward path into the comfortable upper-middle class. Accomplishment through physical prowess is thus a means of building both a sense of self and community.

The connections to this particular moment in American culture and history go much deeper than that, though. This whole edifice of Bro Culture grows out of the broader rise of influencers, performative self-branding through social media, and the construction of identity through consumption.

With the right protein powder, shilled by your favorite strongman, you too can deadlift 800 pounds, or at least tell yourself you’ll get there someday. With the right brand of CBD tincture, which sponsors your favorite Crossfit athlete, you won’t feel that burning pain in your rotator cuff after you clean and jerk too much weight with suboptimal technique. By religiously listening to the right Bro-approved entrepreneurship podcast, hosted by some guy who happened to get booked on the Joe Rogan Experience during a slow week, you too can buy a McMansion in an affordable suburb.

Much of what happens in Bro Culture is driven by lifestyle consumption: ads for sunglasses on Barstool Sports’ Pardon My Take podcast, brand partnerships between supplement companies and YouTube stars, tactical holsters for concealed-carry that an ex-Marine with a million Instagram followers wants you to buy. It’s self-actualization through sponsor codes.

The tactical lifestyle craze, a natural outgrowth of this particular slice of Bro Culture, is the logical endpoint of all this. It’s where entrepreneurial late capitalism and influencer trends meet imperial wars, the militarization of the police, and the emergence of Gun Guys as a default protected class within American society. You’re not a Crossfitter anymore; you’re a “tactical athlete,” doing varied types of interval, cardio, and strength training so you can be a more effective soldier or cop or firefighter or whatever, or you just want to feel like you could be one. The physical training is only part of this, since you can prominently declare your tactical affiliations with a variety of lifestyle products, ranging from coffee mugs to American flag stickers for your car to, naturally, firearms....

Just as much as its coffee, whose quality I can’t speak to, Black Rifle Coffee Company is selling the tactical lifestyle. They offer a staggering variety of T-shirts, hoodies, hats, mugs, thermoses, and stickers, many of them prominently branded with the eponymous “black rifle” of the brand. There are a lot of American flags and pieces of law-enforcement and military iconography, signifiers of the in-groups to whom the consumers of BRCC’s products belong, want to belong, or for whom they want to signal their support. BRCC has explicitly labeled itself as a coffee company for conservatives, an active participant in the culture wars. If you don’t like Starbucks and its effete, refugee-supporting, liberal tendencies, buy some Black Rifle product instead. If you like Trump, you’ll be at home with BRCC. Don Jr. endorsed them.

After the picture of Rittenhouse in the Black Rifle Coffee Company shirt appeared, its founder Evan Hafer quickly disavowed the youthful shooter. Even for an explicitly MAGA coffee company, supporting a teenaged AR enthusiast with blood on his hands was a bridge too far. But Rittenhouse had already been shaped by the world BRCC and its fellow-travelers have made. He got the message, loud and clear: You too can become a hero, or at least dress and drink coffee like one, by purchasing the right products, watching the right videos, and following the same Extended Bro Culture influencers. Don’t forget to like and subscribe.

The Veteran-owned piece of BRCC’s appeal isn’t a coincidence. They’re selling a position in the culture wars, a sense of belonging, but also a particular vision of what it means to be American, a man, and an American man. A staggering number of this part of Bro Culture’s key figures are veterans. Jocko Willink, perhaps the best known (and least openly political) of the bunch, was a Navy SEAL officer; he was actually the commanding officer of the famous sniper Chris Kyle during the Battle of Ramadi in 2006.

After retiring, Willink turned his SEAL experience into a career as a leadership consultant, motivational speaker, media personality, and energy drink salesman. His intensity, built on his military service, is legendary: His exhortations to do hard things regularly, to live by a code, and take responsibility for oneself, resonate with millions of people. And Willink is far from the only one to do so, turning overseas service in imperial wars, especially as a special forces operator, into a key component of his entrepreneurial appeal. This isn’t a judgement on his military service; it’s a statement of fact. Being an undeniable badass is a the core part of why Jocko Willink is a quintessential Bro Hero.

Imperial wars overseas always come home eventually, and they do so in complex ways. The fact that millions of people listen to Jocko Willink, buy Black Rifle Coffee Company merchandise, and dabble in more extreme fringes is a product of decades spent elevating not just military service writ large but violent combat overseas against ill-defined Others. For every Jocko Willink, there’s an Eddie Gallagher, the SEAL who was convicted of and then recently pardoned for war crimes after becoming a cause célèbre for large swathes of the online right.

If these are the heroes Bro Culture puts forth - special operators accustomed to high-intensity, high-volume fighting overseas, who then develop enormous media platforms - it’s obvious what message Kyle Rittenhouse and the innumerable police officers, tactical fitness enthusiasts, and more run-of-the-mill viewers and listeners will take. Millions of people listen to Joe Rogan when he talks to Jocko Willink, Tim Kennedy (the Green Beret and MMA fighter and increasingly open right-wing figure), or Cameron Hanes (who advocated for Eddie Gallagher’s release). They’re warriors. Joe Rogan isn’t a soldier, but he’s a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, a former competitive kickboxer, a bowhunter, and a firearms enthusiast. If these are the people at the core of Bro Culture, a culture that directly touches tens of millions of American men, then there are bound to be knock-on effects. If they’re constantly telling their listeners to be ready, to be tactical, to be prepared to fight and to be good at it, that means something.

This is why I think Bro Culture, or at least its extended reaches, deserve more scrutiny and attention. The code of American manhood that’s developing out of this social-media melting pot has some aspects that bear watching: A love of firearms centered on tactical usefulness (for use in what context, exactly?), a vision of muscular physicality, self-defense as a personal obligation, an unquestioning hero-worship of military culture, and far too often, a deep suspicion of people who don’t subscribe to this precise view of being a guy. Support the Troops, and if you don’t, you’re not really a man at all. If cops - quintessential subjects of Bro Culture - are told that they need to be bigger and stronger and quicker on the draw, that they’re basically Troops, and that the targets of violence deserve what they get, what’s the likely outcome of tense interactions between police and the people they’re supposed to serve?

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allycryz · 3 years

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WOL Challenge #3: You

[Prompt List Here]

[Filled Prompt List Here]

Haurchefant x Nerys, set immediately after Ardent [Ao3 Link]

Heavensward, right after Inquisition trial and before “Keeping the Flame Alive”

Rating: T for off-screen sex, sex talk

~*This is 2K words, most of it is fluff and I revel in it*~

The Fortemps library is a grand one. Haurchefant is not certain how it compares–he has only been in Haillenarte's with Francel–but imagines it is the finest in Ishgard. His father is a man of letters, a true believer in the power of words. And one who expected his sons to follow suit.

His education differed greatly from his brothers’ the day he became a knight’s page. Even still, his lord father sent him monthly parcels of books. He was expected to read them all and send detailed reports on the contents. Had he ever kept up his thaumaturgy studies, he would have been hard-pressed to find the time.

As it was, he’d stayed up often to fit in the poetry and novels not on the list. Count Edmont was a modern man and his syllabus reflected this–vetted popular authors and poets made it into the parcels. Never in the quantity Haurchefant would have liked. And never some of the one-gil books he bought in The Pillars.

When he was a boy, there were songs for sale about body functions and noises; exaggerated tales of heroes fighting all manner of beasts and foes. As a youth, these became long, violent epics of battles and bravery. As a young man: lurid poems and explicit romance novels. Some as grand and sweeping as the classical romances his Father promoted. Some were not.

He has managed to introduce some contemporary poets into the collection. Not all. Edmont’s tastes in poetry run more traditional. Some of the rising stars of the field are roundly rejected.

Haurchefant is working on that.

Today, he feels romantic in both classic and literal senses. And as his Father has ordered him to stay for a day and night, indulging in a novel sounds just the thing. It seems that getting trapped in a blizzard–even if things had gone fine, more than fine–means your noble father turns to such decrees.

At least, that is what it means now they are growing close, as they never had been. Another miracle Nerys has wrought with her coming. And as Haurchefant has full faith in Corentiaux and the rest...he allows himself to be thus ordered.

Someone else is in the library. He can sense it soon as he enters. A soldier learns to tell when others are near, even in safe environs such as this. Haurchefant softens his footfalls, peering about the shelves. There, in the alcove reserved for study, he finds the source of today’s romantic mood.

Nerys looks up, eyes turning soft. His heart swells in his chest, his mouth cannot help but smile. It’s unstoppable and he does not ever want it to cease. Was it really only yesterday? That she told me my love was returned?

It seems a dream now, albeit the sweetest one he has ever had.

Her hands sweep at the papers she has laid out, pulling them into a stack. Flips over the one on top. “Hello.”

“Hello, my dear.” How nice to call her that. “I thought you were on a shopping expedition with Emmanellain?”

“I was.” She touches her neckline. So caught up in her eyes, he hadn’t noticed the gown she wore.

Scarlet as the unicorn on his shield, set off with dangling garnets in her ears. The heart-shaped neckline shows off her elegant neck and collar bones. The sleeves are slashed to reveal white fabric beneath and the cuffs have delicate pearls. “I found this. For when I’m here at the manor and not about to fight Inquisitors or dragons.”

“You are breathtaking in it.” He circles the table to take her hand. Bows over it before pressing his mouth to her knuckles. Etiquette demands he should kiss the air above it but surely exceptions are made for lovers.

She is my lover now, he thinks in wonder. Her cheeks stain with a fetching indigo shade. “My lord is kind.”

Haurchefant drops to one knee before his lady and turns her hand. Her palm is just as lovely to kiss. “Your lord means everything he says. But if you require further proof of my ardor…”

Nerys darts a glance about before tilting up his chin. Her kiss is sweet and soft and not a little heated. Would that he might lay her upon the table in this temple of learning and know her better.

Alas, Nerys has asked for discretion. Time to better acquaint themselves as lovers before declaring themselves. They are still friends–always will be, if he has anything to do with it–but this dynamic is new and strange. Haurchefant can understand why the most public figure in Eorzea might want some measure of privacy.

Though, he reflects as he parts from her. Half the fun would be keeping quiet and avoiding discovery.

“I know that look,” she says. “You’re thinking of something lascivious.”

“When I had this look before I confessed, what did you think it meant?”

“The same,” she admits. “But that your love of innuendo was good-natured teasing.”

He heaves a sigh. Either he is not as obvious as Estinien always accuses him or she’d been in deep, deep denial. “Dearest love, how-”

The library doors bang open and the culprit whistles as he walks inside. Haurchefant rises, knowing exactly who it is before he comes into view.

“Old Girl! Old Man!” Emmanellain grins. “You didn’t tell me we were having a party in the library.”

“Impetuous Youth,” Haurchefant shoots back. “What if one of us was deep in study?”

“Oh I don’t deal in ‘what-ifs’. You two are having a conversation, not studying; ergo all is well.”

“He has a point. I think,” says Nerys. “By the by, if Haurchefant is ‘Old Man’, what do you call your eldest brother?”

The two men exchange looks. Smile. Say in unison, “Artoirel.”

Nerys groans and flaps both hands at them in dismissal. “Go fetch whatever you two were looking for. I am actually working on something.”

“Am I to be banished for my baby brother’s crimes?” Haurchefant presses a hand to his heart. “Mistress Eluned, you wound me.”

“If I must be quiet and meek like a mouse, so must you. After all, I am the true leader of our brotherly trio.”

“You are right of course. I could never compare to you.” Haurchefant shakes his head. “Very well, Impetuous Youth. As mice scurry to cheese, let us go to the books we seek.”

“Ordered to seek,” Emmanellian mutters. “I’m to review Ymbelet’s Theorem of Command and deliver a report. As if we hadn’t put our schooling well behind us.”

Haurchefant does his best to soothe his brother. They quiet down at last: the younger man taking his volume off to his chambers, the elder settling into an armchair within eyesight of Nerys. (Far enough away that she may stop hiding her work.)

His novel is a work of popular fiction he’d garnered approval to stock here. No erotic scenes, but romantic enough. Should he ever get his eyes to stay on the page.

Alas, the white-haired sorcerer-king and his beloved princess and his soul-eating sword are no match for the Warrior of Light. The curve of her cheek. The braided coronet of purple and white hair, crowning her while the rest of her curls are a lovely raiment over her shoulders. The quirk to her dark, sweet lips.

She lifts those golden eyes, meeting him. If he were not already lovestruck and bedazzled, that gaze would ensnare him. He smiles and lifts his shoulders in a helpless shrug. Haurchefant isn’t sorry for lingering before a sunset; and that natural wonder is naught in comparison.

“My lord,” says Nerys, her voice carrying. “May I help you?”

“Nay, Mistress.” He shakes his head. “Simply exist as you are and I am satisfied.”

That is when Alphinaud bursts in, looking drawn and pale. If Haurchefant is annoyed at another interruption, that vanishes at the sight. He jumps to his feet. “My lad! Are you alright?”

The youth shakes his head. “Nerys. Tataru has grave news about General Aldynn. We must be off at once.”

She rises, hurrying over in a rush of white and red silk. In an instant she has changed from playfulness to resolute determination. Always ready to become The Warrior, his Nerys.

“Do you require anything?” He asks them. “You know my sword is yours, as is any resource at our disposal.”

Alphnaud shakes his head. “No one must see us enter Thanalan or leave. As soon as we cross back into Coerthas, we’ll send word.”

“I thank you. If you needs must bring the General somewhere safe, Camp Dragonhead’s doors are open to you.” If he must return to his command rather than fight at her side, at least he might be of some use to her. He loves–truly loves–his role but lately, his dearest wish is to be a shield at her back and a sword in her arsenal.

Ah, well, even Sorcerer-Kings do not get all they want. Why should he?

He dips into a sweeping bow to them both. Alphinaud returns it before rushing out, every emotion writ upon his usually perfect diplomat’s mask. Should the General die, the youth will carry it as he does everything else that occurred with the Braves. Haurchefant sends a prayer to Halone, asking for mercy on him.

Nerys takes his hand. Squeezes it. He squeezes it back. She smiles before picking up her skirts and rushing afterward.

It proves impossible to focus after that, even more than before. For a moment he entertains armoring up and following. This isn’t Dragonhead and so none of the knights with orders to keep him safe are here. (That time with Iceheart, Corentiaux had actually sat upon him.)

But they have asked he stay behind. So he will.

Haurchefant can take care of Nerys’ papers for her. He means to pointedly not look at the contents. He truly does. But he sees a piece of paper with his name on top, another with his last name, and his resolve crumbles.

The first piece of paper is titled “Minako” in large, neat letters. Beneath are names like Mamoru, Umino, Motoki. Her Yellow Chocobo is named Minako. Therefore, this is for…

The next sheet of paper confirms his suspicions. Under the heading “Black Chocobo” are the names Endymion, Starlight, Twilight, Onyx. Below that, a subheading “Elegance” with virtue monikers: Noble, Dignity, Charming.

And so, when he arrives to the last three papers (titled “Haurchefant”, “Greystone”, and “Fortemps”), he cannot contain his joy. The little note scribbled atop “Haurchefant” tickles him further. He gave you the Chocobo and you adore him. Will he be offended? He might be offended.

Haurchefant is certainly not offended.

He delights in the candidates, even some of the ones she crossed out. Sadly, there is no option for “Haurchefant” or “Haurchefant II.” I suppose that might get confusing.

Grinning, he picks up her leather folio and tucks her work inside. Hopefully, she will forgive his snooping because he has some ideas about this.

The Lord Commander’s bed at Camp Dragonhead may be the most comfortable place in Eorzea.

Nerys should get up to clean, brush her teeth, all the little nighttime rituals. But she is so pleasantly exhausted and the blankets are so soft and warm. She stretches, luxuriating in the feel of them against her skin. It has been a harrowing few days since her abrupt departure from Ishgard. But all is well and now, she feels nothing but comfort.

The bed could be warmer with her companion. But then she wouldn’t get to see his bare bottom as he slips into the bathroom. Halone must adore him to bless him with such a lovely rear.

“My love,” he calls after a while. “I have a confession to make.”

“Oh? Should I be worried?”

“I hope not.” He returns with a washcloth, his black silk robe barely closed against the cold. The fireplace sends flickers of light across his sculpted chest. “I may be overstepping but...I must say that I truly adore the name Grey. Though Tempsy is charming. Also, may I suggest Haurchon?”

What does he...oh. Oh! Nerys groans and buries her face in a pillow. She had been in such haste to rescue Raubahn–rightfully so!–that she had left all her papers there. All face up, all in the open.

The mattress dips as Haurchefant sits beside her. One hand strokes her hair, gentle and sweet. “I should not have pried but Nerys–my dearest one–I am utterly and truly touched by the idea. Though of course, if you pick a different name I will not be offended.”

“I only...well, I wouldn’t have him if not for you,” she mutters into the pillow, heat filling her face. “And if not for him, we wouldn’t have been in Coerthas that day.”

“So we owe him a great honor, for bringing us together at last.” His lips press against her bare shoulder. “Of course, the truest honor would be to name him after yourself-”

She turns then, mortification at last leaving her. Cups his face in her hands. “I am not playing this game where we go on for hours about who is better. Let’s agree it’s you and end it there.”

“Oh my love,” he sighs, bending down to her. “Though you are wrong, I must obey if it proves to you the depth of my regard.”

“I know another way you could prove it,” she says, pulling him atop her.

Grey likes his name.

#seaswolchallenge #nerys eluned #haurchefant greystone #haurchefant x wol #emmanellain de fortemps #Alphinaud Leveilleur #they're cute!#I love them #I love writing him when he's in love #and he is so often in love #:3 #ally writes

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bexterbex · 4 years

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A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 33

Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 33: The End of the Committee

PLEASE LOOK AT THE POSTERS I MADE FOR THIS STORY

You, Kylo, the lieutenant, and the general enter the room. If you thought everyone was on their best behavior for the general, then they were trying to act like saints in the presence of the Supreme Leader. You were sure that it was mostly fear rather than respect that they held for him.

You took your normal seat as did the general, but Kylo took the seat at the head of the conference room table where Dr. Koroban normally sat and the doctor sat next to you replacing the lieutenant who now stood behind you against the wall. Even though the lieutenant was not by your side he was still doing his job, seeing as a fresh cup of stimcaf was placed in front of you.

Usually, before the meetings began there was light chatter, not this time. The room was dead with silence before Dr. Koroban spoke, “it is an honor to be joined by you today Supreme Leader, we much look forward to seeing what you do with all of the work that this committee has done.”

Kylo, ever so intimidating just raised his head and simply ordered, “proceed.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader. On the agenda today we will be discussing mandatory vaccinations and exercise. Along with wrapping up the entirety of the committee,” said Dr. Koroban.

“Shall we start with the mandatory vaccinations,” asked Dr. Dabrini. Of everyone in the room, he, Dr. Koroban, and the general seemed most relaxed in Kylo’s presence. All of the other officers and medical staff were sitting ramrod straight in their chairs and seemed to have forgotten how to breathe.

“That should be the best course of action. What are the current standards right now on the planet,” asked Hux. You could tell that he was reading the room as he was saying it. As a way to help ease the tension from the lower officers.

“Currently vaccination requirements are all over the place on the planet. Every military requires up to date immunization for their soldiers, but the country with the most rigorous policy is that of Slovenia. While a medical exemption request can be submitted to a committee, such an application for reasons of religion or conscience wouldn’t be acceptable and isn’t allowed,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“So, according to First Order Health Standards and Procedures, this will drastically need to change. But I believe we already knew that. Currently, most people have willingly received their vaccinations through the health stations, but it remains to be seen how many of them will need to be mandated into receiving them,” said a higher-ranking officer. With Kylo remaining to be quiet you could tell some of the officers were becoming more comfortable by the minute.

“Lady Ren, what is your take on this,” asked Hux. Kylo’s helmet turned towards you previously he seemed to be staring at the wall ahead of him. Because of the helmet, you were unsure as to if he was paying attention or not, but he sure was now at least to you.

“I currently don’t have a problem with mandatory vaccinations. Unless someone has a health reason to be exempt from vaccinations, in any case, those people should be protected by the herd immunity effect. As that is who herd immunity is supposed to protect. I’m all for these mandatory vaccinations so go right ahead,” you said. If you could see Kylo’s eyes you were pretty sure they were dead set on you. When you were finished speaking he nodded and everyone took this for approval.

“We shall do just that m’lady,” said Dr. Koroban. “Shall we move on to exercise before lunch is served?” He looked around for approval, everyone nodded in agreement except for Hux and Kylo who were just looking at you.

“Yes, I believe last time I voiced my concerns for mandatory exercise, especially in private homes. Now I haven’t seen how the First Order education affects most people on this planet but I can promise you that making a mandatory exercise regime for citizens in their private lives will not end well,” you were trying to be confident. “I think that a suggested regime may be something you need to consider, it will go over better all-around. Many nations found suggestions better in past war efforts than everything being mandatory, especially in private homes.”

“But m’lady there is a desperate need for weightloss reform in many of your ‘first world’ countries, we need to do something more, something obligatory. Otherwise, there will be no change. We need exercise to go along with diet, nothing will change for these people unless we do it for them,” said a high-ranking officer.

“I didn’t say you had to do nothing, just leave the mandated watching out of it. Maybe there is a need for an incentive program. Something for people to get excited about. Maybe something like their name rolling across the broadcast screen at the end of a successful month? Something they can brag about to their friends. It might even start competitions to see who is a better citizen, keeping up with the jones as we like to say,” you responded. You knew that they wouldn’t give it up so easily. You were just hoping that they could make people think that they had freedom, even if the way things were starting to look like they didn’t.

“You believe it to be that simple,” asked the general. You could hear the doubt in his voice even if you didn’t see the doubt in his eyes.

“No, I don’t but this directly deals with behavior in a different way than many of the other things we have discussed. This program will need readjusting as it goes along. You will need to evaluate consistently, maybe the reward will need to be bigger, maybe eventually it needs to become mandatory, but implementing another mandatory thing that affects behavior will not help you right now,” you countered. Even though you didn’t know how the general populace was feeling right now you had no doubt that people might be scared. You were worried for them, the general populace, you were at least safe by Kylo’s side, with his nights, or onboard the ship, but you couldn’t say that for others.

“I see. So we do as you suggest for let’s say six months then we readjust to figure out if making it mandatory is necessary. I think we could agree to postpone it for at least those six months, but only with the Supreme Leader’s approval,” said Dr. Koroban who then turned his head to look at Kylo for approval.

Kylo didn’t turn to acknowledge the man sitting next to you. Throughout the whole discussion, his attention was placed firmly on you, however, he waved his hand to acknowledge that he was fine with the decision made by the Finalizer’s doctor.

“Well then we better move on to lunch before we start our wrap up,” said Dr. Koroban. He then made a motion to one of the junior officers who let in a group of them carrying crome cloches and large platters.

Everyone had been served and the junior officers removed the cloches on everyone’s food except Kylo’s. You watched as the younger officers looked to the doctors and the general as to what to do, they all began to eat so they took it as a sign to do so. You were not comfortable with this. Kylo was going to keep his helmet on the whole time? No, you were going to fix this.

You turned to the junior officer behind you, waiting on you and asked her if she could bring your plate down to the red sitting room. “Supreme Leader, would you like to join me in the Red Room for lunch seeing as we won’t be discussing anything until afterward?”

Kylo merely nodded and gestured to the junior officer behind him to take his lunch as well. You got up and left the room heading down the hall to your usual sitting room. The junior officers and Kylo were right behind you along with another junior officer bringing a table. They set up your lunch and left before shutting the door.

They left you alone with Kylo.

He took off his mask before saying, “Thank you, although it isn’t the first time I have had to skip a meal in the presence of others.” He then started to dig into the rather delicious looking meal that had been served.

You were shocked, but you laughed despite it. “I don’t think you should be skipping eating at a health committee meeting, seems pretty contradictory don’t you think?”

Kylo looked up through his lashes at you from while leaning over his plate, “you’re right. But I need to keep up appearances. One of the reasons why my knights and I wear the mask is for intimidation and power. The reason why I wear it to meetings is that people question me less, Hux is one of the few who has the guts to question my tactics while it is on.”

“And do you appreciate that? That he has the guts to do so?”

“Some times, other times he can be rather annoying,” he sniggered out.

You could tell by his relaxed posture that he was enjoying himself. He carried himself differently even if he didn’t like to think so. You were happy that you two had this moment in the middle of the stressful meeting, but you knew it was going to come to an end soon as you both finished your lunches and would have to head back into the meeting.

You and Kylo stood, he took your arm and then placed his helmet on his head with one hand. You wondered if he used the Force for assistance or if his hands were so large that he didn’t need the help. Either way, a part of you was sad when the helmet went on. It was like clouds covering the beauty of the moon, and you an evening primrose desperate for its gleam to touch your petals. All you wanted to do was dance in his night but you needed to return to the day, to the meeting.

You could hear light chatter from outside the room which died as soon as you both entered. His helmet and his presence seemed to be working to their full effect. You took your respective seats.

“With your permission Supreme Leader, we should begin,” said Dr. Koroban.

Kylo simply waved his hand once more and almost everyone in the room shifted in their chairs,

“Currently we have made an effort to produce programs on health. Things like daily hygiene, healthy eating, sickness prevention, and injury prevention. We have also discussed sex and reproductive safety, this has been dealt with now completely by the Supremacy as per the Supreme Leader’s orders . We have decided today that we will have mandatory forced vaccinations, with the exception of medical needs. And we have decided on an exercise regime that will need to be evaluated throughout its course,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“With the help of Lady Ren and Petty Officer Tanau we sent off a number of posters and videos as examples to the Supremacy. They answered back with many notes and several campaigns to start here on earth,” said Dr. Koroban.

A projector then started to reveal a presentation on the walls around you. First up was a poster for daily hygiene. “While we may use some of the posters that have been sent, the Supremacy has made some of their own as you can see here and here. They agreed with the videos that were sent over as other research on this planet seems to favor the old-time nostalgia that these might bring,” said Dr. Dabrini.

The projector then went to show the various posters that had been sent over previously, “while we now these sicknesses prevention techniques could be expanded upon, we think starting with school-aged children will be the best option as they spread sickness around the most,” said Dr. Koroban.

“Injury prevention has lead to videos like this one and this one . Along with the need for every industry to have its own safety precautions. But as Lady Ren pointed out there are government agencies that already do this very well. The Supremacy has only made one example poster for this. They will be working with the agencies in place to bring the safety up to First Order Standards,” said Dr. Dabrini.

“That should conclude all health and safety topics, does this meet your approval Supreme Leader,” asked Dr. Koroban.

Kylo’s vocoder stated out a harsh, “yes” to answer the aging doctor’s question. There was a look of pride on the doctor’s face, a look that seemed as if you just told him that he had cured cancer. Almost to overjoyed.

“That concludes the Health Committee. I would like to thank everyone’s helo on this, especially that of you Lady Ren. The planet here will be healthier because of us,” said Dr. Koroban in conclusion.

You all stood up to leave. Everyone waited for the Supreme Leader to leave first, he then just paused next to you taking your arm. You entered the hallway and were greeted by General Pryde.“Supreme Leader I have the list of behavioral videos that you and the rest of the First Order High Command have requested. It will only take a few minutes for you to approve them, I have already run them by the Allegiant General.”

General Hux paused near you, “I have already confirmed that the list of videos would be most beneficial for the populace. The posters are what need the most of your approval. A few simple new recruitment ones based off of similar ones found here on this planet. This one that deals with finding members of the Resistance and one on Stormtrooper behavior.” Pryde handed Kylo a datapad with a list of recruitment posters and videos.

Let’s be Good Citizen’s at School (1953)

Are You a Good Citizen? (1949)

Law and Social Controls (1949)

School Rules

Improve Your Personality (1951)

Everyday Manners

Right or Wrong

How to Keep a Job (1949)

You and Your Work (1948)

Personality and Emotions (1954 )

Habit Patterns (1954)

Obligations (1950)

The Procrastinator (1952)

Wastage of Human Resources

You peeked over Kylo’s shoulder at the data pad. The general had procured an extensive list, by the titles of the videos nothing seemed to harmful. They reminded you of videos your health teacher might have a substitute play when they were gone, or on days you couldn’t go outside for recess. The posters seemed alright, recruitment like but over Kylo’s shoulder you couldn’t read the text of the one titled: How and What to tell a Rebel.

“These are acceptable. Have them sent off to the Supremacy for a final inspection.” With the helmet on you couldn’t tell if he was unimpressed or not.

You could tell by the way he positioned that Hux was slightly guarding you from the gray-haired general.

“I hope these will also please you m’lady. I would like to thank you for suggesting the Library of Congress to us, it has been very helpful in my research,” said Pryde. He had a smile reminiscent of an antique doll that you had once seen in a thrift shop, one that’s eyes seemed to follow you where ever you went.

Hux’s eyes flicked and seemingly shared a look with Kylo like they were having a silent conversation.

“You are welcome general, I am glad that it helped the First Order,” you replied. You griped Kylo’s arm a bit tighter, hoping that he would get the hint that you wanted to leave. You wanted to get away from the older general, who’s eyes hid some thirst behind them, what that thirst was you did not want to know.

Kylo took the hint and maneuvered you through the halls and back to the shuttle, you were only accompanied by the knights, the lieutenant and the redheaded general. You felt at ease in their presence. You took off for the Steadfast ready for your next lesson.

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