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mhsdatgo · 2 days

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The Helaemonds/Helaegons need to calm down.

Don't get me wrong, it's always refreshing to see some people fill in the gaps of a basically untold relationship such as the one between the green kids in general, but this goes beyond basic obsessive shippy discourse. Leave this poor girl alone. Why's there an obsession with having her be romantically paired with her brothers, one worse than the other?

I understand the show has basically shown so little of her to the point where we didn’t even have a coronation for her on screen, so therefore you can self insert through her and have fun with headcanons regarding Aegon and Aemond. Really, I'm not faulting their girlies, you can be head over heels for whatever actor in character you want (unless you put them on pedestals and start acting like they did nothing wrong and pounce on whoever contests them, THEN we have a problem) but I assure you, Helaena would barely want anything to do with either of them.

Aegon is a sex pest turned sex offender, a drunkard and a neglectful father and husband at best. Her infamous toast in ep.8 has us believing that he cannot for the life of him interact with her unless he's horny drunk or that he forces himself on her at worst.* He was ready to leave them all in ep.9 before he was caught. Even the book is subtle about their relationship: all we know of them is that they sleep in shared chambers, that she was someone important and reliable in Aegon's council before B&C, and that he named her and Alicent the true Queens of his reign.

*(⚠️TW: PERSONAL OPINION⚠️ I'm not saying this last one isn't a possibility but it's sill outrageous for the way people speak about Helaena in defence of this "claim". No, she wouldn't joke about her own r*pe in front of the whole table full of people she doesn't know and right beside her abuser, and despite the hour-long metas I've read about how she's basically "too sheltered" to know what r*pe even means, I assure you she's a high-functioning autistic, not 5 years old. She can understand it perfectly.)

Helaemond is a pure show invention, I honestly wasn't expecting this many people to go up this kind of train. They barely interact, and most of the time it's Aemond saying he'd "perform his duty" should Helaena ever be wed to him, or that stare in ep.9 when he enters her chambers toiling after Alicent. It's, as always, the Aemond girlies who think poor Helaena would live her best life with Aemond, or that they are already romantically involved behind the scenes. The amount of "if one possesses a thing, the other will take it away" edits from people that are FULLY CONVINCED "the thing" is Helaena and that "the one" and "the other" are Aemond and Aegon respectively is honestly concerning.

Fics that are all about Aegon doing the worst and unspeakable things to her so "Aemond can come and save her" are y'all okay? Out of all people, HE has to save her?

Babes, I'm sorry to break your bubble, but this isn't Aegon IV/Naerys/Aemon on steroids. Aemond didn't give two shits about Helaena. No, he wasn't jealous when Jace came to ask her to dance, he just wanted to stir some shit. If we talk about the books, he didn't fucking hesitate to leave King's Landing, his sister, his mother and whatever he was doing for the Riverlands the second he heard that Daemon was there. And he brought the only means of defence they had with him. If he knew how important Vhagar was for the city's defence, he's evil, if he didn't realize it, he's dumb as fuck. Which one is it, Aemond girlies?

People beat each other to the curb about Jaehaerys, Jaehaera and Maelor's paternity like it's the Wars of The Roses. They put Helaena and Alys against the other like they have personal beef with one of them.

Stop mentioning this sweetheart only when it's about praising or hating one of her brothers. No, it's not the only option you have because she's underdeveloped as a character. There's actually another one.

LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE.

#house of the dragon #fire and blood #helaena targaryen #pro helaena targaryen #helaena deserved better #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #anti helaemond #anti helaegon

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bestworstcase · 14 hours

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So, regarding your Tai post,

https://www.tumblr.com/bestworstcase/748954216598470656/the-perennial-tai-discourse-is-really-interesting?source=share

I had some thoughts: I technically cover it in a separate post

https://www.tumblr.com/tumblingxelian/749060919422861312/really-solid-addition-here-much-like-with-qrows

But I'm unsure if the links will work so here is a slightly edited & expanded version:

Now, the idea that Ruby & Yang had very different childhoods is not an idea I strictly disagree with. But, I also think it is a bit inaccurate to treat it as outlined in your post.

What I mean is that while Yang is definitely more overt in the fact she feels Tai and the other adults failed them and defaults to centering family moments on Ruby. (For instance she frames the Zwei package as something to cheer Ruby up, its not for her & Ruby's the one really excited, Yang's just kind of there about it)

Despite that, Ruby herself doesn't have a simple relationship with Tai, or in fact she just might but that's not a good thing.

See, Ruby does not think about Tai very often, he's largely an afterthought in her letters for one. But more to the point he is not someone Ruby goes to for advice or guidance or even comfort.

Post Beacon, she mostly gets an update from him and is not bothered to see him go. She is OK being a bit more vulnerable around Qrow.

But the person she actually seeks out and seems utterly shocked at not receiving comfort from is Yang. It was also Yang who she questions for what to do next and Yang whom she confided her plans in before leaving.

Again she is shocked when Yang cannot supply these things to her.

Tai is her dad, but its a superficial relationship, he's nice, he can be fun, she does love him. She does not however, seem to perceive him as a reliable or responsible adult from whom she seeks protection or guidance.

The person she always defaulted to for that was Yang until she could no longer fill the role post V3 which likely fed into her issues with showing vulnerability in V9.

I tend to think she might have been more open to it in V5 given the breakdown tears & hug, but then Yang demonstrated she was still very much not all right & Ruby had no clue what to do. So she just sort of locked into her head that Yang needed 'her' protection now, not the other way around.

I would also just straight up note that even Ruby said it was Yang who raised her. Like, that wasn't even subtle, she knows who the parent was in that house and it wasn't Tai or Qrow. I don't think she'd say that if their childhoods were 'so' different that Tai was a functional parent to her but not Yang.

She definitely has a less... frosty relationship with the two grown men who she grew up around, Largely because they project the saintly Summer onto her and the Wretched Raven onto Yang.

Again, let's not forget Qrow's entirely willing to accept Yang brutalized a kid for shits and giggles or is "crazy". Or that Tai outright sees a lot of Raven in Yang, despite most of the traits he described not meshing with Yang's demonstrated or self described persona.

But even with that more positive relationship being projected onto and still raised by a sister two years your senior isn't exactly ideal. Both sisters had a shitty childhood, both were deeply neglected and failed and suffered because of that fact.

all true! but the nature of parentification is that the children experience the neglect in very different ways; the elder child is forced into an adult role, parenting the younger child, who is harmed in more invisible ways because they do have a caretaker—their sibling. anecdotally nearly every account of a childhood i’ve read by an adult who was raised as a child by older siblings has either alluded to or outright described 1. a much better childhood than their caretaking sibling(s) got, 2. because their sibling(s) shielded them from the worst neglect or abuse.

with that in mind and taking into consideration things like the different reactions to the package from tai (this will cheer ruby up vs ooh, something from home!) and yang staying behind at beacon when tai takes ruby to visit the memorial stone, and now these clear differences in how the girls feel about the boba shop (yang: unsure, downplaying the surprise, maybe it’s dumb / ruby: boba!!!) which probably reflect their emotional experience of the outings with dad (yang: fun, happy that ruby is so excited, not that special otherwise / ruby: magical)…

well, let’s put it this way:

yang did not have a real caretaker starting from age five, when she became the de facto main parent to her three-year-old sister with at best sporadic breaks when qrow wasn’t too blackout drunk / tai was having a good day.

ruby had a primary caretaker who struggled but was always there (yang) and a dad who had to work a lot but made time to do special things like the boba trips so that he could spend quality time with his family (tai). plus an uncle she sometimes needed to help her sister deal with.

yang being parentified has the effect of insulating ruby from the severity of tai’s neglect; in a functional single-income household where one parent stays home and the other works to support the family and both parents are adults who chose this dynamic and enjoy their respective roles, the working parent is not bad or neglectful simply because they aren’t around during the day to take care of the kids, and they can foster close, loving relationships with their children by making the most of the time they have at home. the childhood ruby had was a dysfunctional imitation of that dynamic.

and then factoring in the summer-vs-raven projection, when tai was around he focused on bonding time with ruby moreso than yang.

the net result is that the harm to ruby is much more invisible (yang by virtue of being a child herself could not provide ruby with healthy parent-child boundaries or the emotional stability children need from their parents to feel secure and develop good emotional regulation; tai’s favoritism of ruby being intertwined with idealizing of summer fucked ruby’s sense of self really badly; in the first few volumes ruby feels hurt and bewildered every time yang acts like her sister instead of her parent).

ruby sees clearly and states in volume nine that yang raised her; i don’t think she would have been able to articulate that so plainly in volume one, and this is something she’s come to realize after leaving home / living independently. in v1 it’s “yang used to read to me when we were little” and i’d bet that’s how ruby would phrase everything yang did—as discrete habits, not the combined pattern of “yang raised me.”

whereas yang like. the first thing she does at beacon is try to step away from ruby: encouraging her to meet new people then ditching her to catch up with friends, not wanting to partner up with her for initiation… much as yang loves her sister and enthusiastically supports her, it’s also pretty obvious that yang saw beacon as an opportunity to focus on herself for once. which says to me that she’d already grasped that their home life was messed up and that she needed to break those patterns once she left.

#profoundly different childhoods not much in the sense of good/bad but covert/overt harm.#which is p typical for any kind of favoritism dynamic #the favored child will have a happier childhood that masks the insidious ways the dysfunction Fucks Them Up

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rokhal · 1 day

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Resident Evil 7 Biohazard whatever is an amazing portrait of the impact of methamphetamine in the rural US. Everything from the textures to the design of the environment to the story itself.

I guess, as an American, I should be used to living in a media panopticon where everyone knows how we talk and what our houses look like, but the Baker estate is not like a movie set or an influencer's home. There's real clutter, the kind that accumulates when you haven't moved cross-country in over ten years and your kids have grown up: kennels for cats who've lived and died, tool boxes, riding mowers, plastic bags full of plastic bags, pool toys. The age of the house shows, not just in the dated wallpaper and cupboards, but in the glimpses we get through the crumbling walls of construction techniques that have been obsolete for eighty years. The pegboard as wallboard. The cludged-together, homeowner-grade repairs of railings and staircases. The immersion is total. This could be any rural home I've ever visited whose owners lost the battle against entropy.

Houses on cheap land can get big. Real big. The Bakers appear to have inherited a plantation house, but there's a lot more on the property. It's perfectly normal to build a mother-in-law apartment and park a trailer in your backyard when you've got the land. Code inspector? What code inspector? You don't need no stinkin' permits. You're not gonna sell, and if you do, the buyer can figure out what they want to do with your wobbly deck.

You own the house and you've got no neighbors to complain about their property values. If you've got money, you trick out your garage. Get a lift. Get a hoist. Fuck it, dig an oil pit. You can do it! That's your man shed. Build some racks out of hog panel and hang all your tools in some haphazard arrangement that makes sense only to you. You've got to be your own mechanic if you want to keep your vehicles running.

Then there's the Baker family themselves. They were nice. Normal. Probably voted for Trump, but so did everyone they know. Of course they'd take pity on a nice white woman and a little girl begging for shelter, they're not animals. Jack was ex-military and pushy; Marguerite was socialized to stand by him whether or not he treated her well; Lucas was an amoral genius who couldn't make it in the real world; Zoe was at least prepared to fly the nest but either she'd tried and had to retreat, or she hadn't quite gotten up the nerve.

By the time we meet them, Jack and Marguerite are caricatures of themselves. Violent, paranoid, impulsive, irrational, moody. They can barely even function. Marguerite's kitchen is swarming with cockroaches and flies, and Jack's outbursts destroy the furniture and walls of the home that he was once proud of. The areas where Jack and Marguerite live are heaped with garbage bags, dimly lit, and filthy.

Every time we meet Lucas, he's wired as hell. Lucas seems hyperfunctional, constructing his elaborate traps and escape rooms, except he can't make the details come together. He lines the walls of his areas with white plastic sheeting, but the mold creeps through the seams anyway. He doesn't bother to change the codes on his padlocks. He toys with Ethan and banks on Ethan being too dumb to shove a bomb through a conveniently placed hole in the wall.

Zoe can still be reasoned with, but we see her fears in her diary. We see the tinfoil taped over her window to block the light.

Lucas, Jack, and Marguerite exhibit behavioral changes consistent with early, chronic, and long-term methamphetamine abuse. Their house bears the same marks of frenetic remodeling, ambitious yet ill-conceived design choices, repetitive behaviors, and neglect that scar so many homes occupied by meth addicts.

Meth is like other drugs in that it rewires the brain to promote drug-seeking behavior, but it also over time causes the brain to atrophy. Signs resembling dementia or schizophrenia eventually occur, accompanied by cognitive decline, and much of this is permanent. It becomes harder for the user to fight back against their dependency (against Eveline) the longer they use the drug (the deeper Eveline's mold works into their bodies).

This is an American horror story, it's a familiar American horror story, and it's a love letter to our country from Japan that seems to me to say, "We're so sorry about what you're going through. Here, shoot some mold-monsters about it."

#re7 #resident evil 7 #meta #my meta #tw drugs

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buzzkillchainsaw · 3 days

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⚠️ addiction, child abuse/neglect, death

Takumi Hoga was twelve years old when he first entered the ring. What else was he to do, really? He had just found out that he would be held back another grade again. Usually kids like him would hear the same old "You're not stupid, you're just lazy" speech over and over again, but not Takumi. He knew what the teachers thought of him. The current ones, that is. The teachers at the last two schools he was expelled from were probably relieved to never waste another thought on him again, after what he did. Bit a child here, broke a bone there. Bruises. Bloody noses. "Beast types", teachers would sneer whenever Takumi caused another "incident". Other than that, nobody paid much attention to him, even in class. You see, Takumi was born with abnormally large and abnormally many teeth very similar to a shark's. Whenever he opened his mouth to say something, teachers and students alike would cringe at his impeded speech, the latter even making fun of it in front of the former. So Takumi just stopped speaking altogether. His grades steadily worsened. His job prospects looked bleaker and bleaker each year. His parents didn't care. His mother was busy with drugs and whatever affair she had going on currently and his father often left for "work" for days at a time, leaving his son to fend for himself more often than not. There was nothing in his life that could've prevented Takumi from entering the ring.

On that fateful day after school Takumi was prowling the streets, homework and upcoming tests being the last thing on his mind. Some kid, a few years older than him, approached him. A fellow "beast", with sharp teeth and blue scales on his skin. He was wearing a cool leather jacket and expensive sunglasses. Takumi liked them.

"Hey, buddy. You look bored.", the guy said.

Takumi nodded. He was bored.

"I know a place where kids like us can have fun and earn cash on the side. Interested?"

"Like a job?", Takumi asked.

"Yeah, but more fun.", the guy answered.

Takumi was unsure. His teacher had told him that he'd never have a good job with his lousy grades and long attack record. "No respectable company will want to hire a beast like you.", she said. So how come this guy now wanted him for a job? And a "fun" one, at that?

"What do I have to do?", Takumi asked.

Everything moved quickly after that. The guy introduced him to "the boss", a man in his thirties who loved expensive food and loud cars. He even let Takumi sit on the passenger seat and choose the music they listened to on their drive to the ring. When they arrived, Takumi was handed a simple white shirt and shorts which reminded him of the clothes he had to wear in gym class. "Now all you gotta do", the boss said, "is beat up this guy over there." Another beast was in the ring, not much older than Takumi. He waved towards the excited crowd beyond the cage that surrounded the ring.

"Beat him up?", Takumi asked, "I'm allowed to do that?"

"Yeah. Beat him, scratch him, bite him, do whatever you want until he taps out or you hear the alarm."

"What if I have to tap out first?", Takumi asked. The boss grinned and handed him a tiny plastic bag with some powder inside. "I don't think you will."

The guy from before didn't lie: This was fun. Takumi didn't even break a sweat during his first fight, knocking the guy out cold. The second fight was against an older girl who transformed into a wolf, Takumi grabbed her nape with his teeth and shook her until she tapped out. At the end of the evening the boss gave him his payment and drove him back. He handed the boy a phone and said he'd text him if he had another fight for him lined up. Takumi stuffed the phone and the money in his pockets and went to buy himself a leather jacket and sunglasses.

Takumi Hoga was thirteen years old when he adopted the stage name "Armageddon". The boss had turned him into a rising star in the local business. Bets were made on whether Armageddon won or lost the fight and the boss always gave him a cut of the winnings which Takumi would spend on food, video games and clothes. Sponsors would sometimes pay him directly to write messages and contact details on his white shirt in permanent marker, displaying them in the ring for all to see. After the fight, the boss would get him cleaned up and drive him home. Takumi then spent the next day eagerly awaiting a message from the boss. On nights without fights Takumi felt horrible, writhing around in his bed, sweating bullets and sometimes even throwing up. But as soon as a new fight came up and Takumi got his hands on that powder the boss always gave him beforehand, the world was alright again. He felt light but focused at the same time, fearless, excited and full of energy. He had finally found something he was good at. And he loved doing it.

Takumi Hoga was fourteen years old when he almost died in the ring. The boss didn’t tell him beforehand that the reptile-looking beast he was about to fight had venom. Armageddon knocked out his opponent, but then sunk to the floor, foaming at the mouth, breathing raspily. “This wouldn’t have happened if you just killed the fucker before he bit you”, the boss hissed into his ear. After some back and forth the manager of the reptile guy decided to hand over some antivenom. Even with that, Takumi felt horrible for days afterwards, unable to move the bitten arm. But when the boss texted him again the week after, he jumped at the opportunity to get back in the ring.

Takumi Hoga was fifteen years old when he fought his first adult opponent in the ring. He was hesitant, but the boss said that nobody wanted to pay to see Armageddon wipe the floor with boring ol' kids who couldn't even fight back. "There's just no money in it", the boss said, "and you wanna keep making money, don't you?" When Armageddon entered the ring, he saw a young man in front of him. Some kind of fish beast with claws and glowing spots on his skin. "Please", the man whispered, "I have debts. I need to get out of here. Please just forfeit, I need the money. I really need it." Armageddon shook his head. "Please", the man said, "Don't hurt me." Armageddon was fifteen years old when he took his first life in the ring.

Armageddon was sixteen years old when he first tried to leave the business. He kept having nightmares about the man he killed and the side effects of the powder started getting to him. But he craved it more and more and that tiny little packet the boss always gave him just didn't cut it anymore. He would've just bought himself more if he knew what it was. The boss wouldn't tell him. So one day, Armageddon stopped answering texts from the boss. He prowled the streets instead, picking fights, doing anything to distract from the withdrawal symptoms plaguing him. Eventually, he collapsed on the street and woke up again in the hospital. Police were called, his parents were called, social services were called. Lots of big words were thrown around that he didn't understand. Negligence. Addiction. Custody. Takumi Hoga was sixteen years old when he was removed from his parents and placed in temporary care with social services. But he didn't stay there very long. They wanted him to go to rehab, anger management classes, school. They took his phone and his hard earned money and placed him on a strict schedule with an early curfew. And Takumi tried. He really did. But he just couldn't live the life everyone else was expecting of him. Takumi Hoga was sixteen years old when he escaped back to the only life he knew how to live well.

Armageddon was seventeen years old when he fought “Razortooth”, a masked volunteer from the crowd. It was a rare occasion. Usually the boss decided who would fight him and the fights would be advertised in the business days in advance. Sometimes the book would drive him to private fights in some rich guy’s basement where Armageddon would fight and kill exotic animals, other beast-types or just random people who probably wronged that rich guy somehow. But tonight was open cage night in the ring, so whichever brave soul thought they could kick Armageddon’s ass was allowed to. Razortooth was a green-skinned beast wearing a short-sleeved hoodie and a ski mask. Armageddon immediately noticed that she fought wildly different from what he was used to. When you spend a lot of time in the ring, you tend to adopt a certain style. Flashy. Violent. Ruthless. But Razortooth didn’t seem to be here for the show. She dodged a left hook and rushed him, wrapping an arm around his neck.

“Hey”, she whispered into his ear as he struggled to get free.

“Hey”, he whispered back. He then punched her in the back, but the angle was weird, so it didn’t hit as hard.

“You want out?”, she whispered and shifted her weight, letting him stumble backwards towards her leg and kicking him in the back of his knee.

“I can’t”, he whispered back.

“He’s got you on Flick? That powder?”

“Yeah. Powder.”

“Alright. Sink to the floor and punch me in the kidney.”, she whispered.

“Why?”

“I’ll slip you my number and then I’ll forfeit.”

“Why?”

“I wanna help you get out.”

So Armageddon sank to the floor, then used her lowered defense to punch her. He then grabbed her and pushed her against the cage wall. Her arms flew up and he noticed something brushing against the pockets of his shorts. Razortooth forfeited.

Takumi Hoga was eighteen years old when he joined the Purpose Program. It was a long back and forth with Hitomi, the beast who had fought him in the ring under the name “Razortooth”. He thought about calling her for weeks after the fight, but something always came up. When he finally did, he didn’t expect her to be actually serious about helping him. But she was. They met up in secret and just talked for a bit.

“Are you a cop?”, he asked.

“No.”, she said, “Cops won’t help much in a situation like this.” Takumi nodded.

It felt great to talk about all this to someone. Hitomi never judged him, even when he talked about how he enjoyed hurting people in the ring. Or when he told her how he once woke up almost choking on his own vomit the night after a big fight (and big dosage of Flick). She showed him where to get Flick so he wasn’t dependent on the boss for it anymore. But she also told him what the drug actually did to his body, how he was cutting his life short if he continued consuming it. Takumi didn’t wanna die. But he also didn’t know what to do with his life if it wasn’t in the ring. Hitomi then offered to go get him tested, no strings attached. Takumi remembered how he did get tested once in elementary school, but not much was revealed there besides “big teeth” and “stronger than his peers”. The tests of the Purpose Program were different, though. It really felt like the scientists were interested in him, in what he could do. Apparently he was able to breathe underwater all this time, it just required a little surgery to open the gills in his neck. The first time he dove into the pool at the research center was heavenly, it was like he had discovered a piece of himself that was always hidden away from him. He was also strong, which he already knew, and had a lot of endurance. And the cherry on top was his excellent sense of smell underwater. He could locate a drop of blood on the other side of the pool while blindfolded.

“Water rescue” was the verdict. A job. For him.

He didn’t take it. He was scared. He relapsed multiple times, going back to the ring on nights where his mind just wouldn’t stop racing. But instead of the boss, it was Hitomi who picked him up. “Recovery isn’t linear”, she’d say. “But if you wanna enter the program, you gotta commit, Takumi.”

“I don’t wanna be Takumi anymore.”, he said, “But I also don’t wanna be Armageddon.”

“So who do you wanna be?”, she asked.

#buzzkill mirai #tw addiction #tw child abuse #tw death #oc #oc lore #worldbuilding

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aclickbaittitle · 2 days

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Underated Audio-Dramas

Asking for it

A queer contemporary take of the Goldilocks tale: about love, music and breaking the cycle of abuse. Goldie escapes a chaotic childhood only to go from a partner who starves her of love to a partner who nearly drowns her in it, before learning to be just right on her own.

My two-cents: This audio-drama I believe is a most listen for any queer person, but especially for us sapphics that want and/or have been in a relationship. I think not much is said about how women are able to harm you, I remember that AN in "Nothing Burns as Bright as You" as how as a bisexual woman the author was taught to be wary of men, but never of woman and in her experience woman often hurt her the most. I remember being in a school conference talking about domestic abuse but never did it once touch on same-gender couples.

All of this is to say that as a society we often neglect to take a real look at how abuse in queer relationships look like, how they look especially in sapphic and lesbian relationships. So I am entirely greatfull "Asking For It Does".

I am lucky enough to have never been in any situation that Goldie finds herself in and still I feel that I know her story not in short thanks to the amazing writer.

Also the MUSIC, the music in this podcast is amazing, and it is from a real band, that also exists within the podcast. How awesome is that!

Fanwars: The Empire Claps Back

Two passionate Star Wars fans on opposite sides of the Last Jedi debate argue via Skype after their favorite forum closes down. If you love Star Wars (or call yourself a proud member of any fandom), you’ll love this romantic comedy told via conversations.

My two cents: The trials and tribulations of being a POC in fandom, more importantly in starwars fandom and realizing that, "oh damm right, poc can spill the same dung as yt fans". And amazing if straight rom-com. I'll recommend it to anyone who wants to spend an afternoon laughing. It also futures the ever growing in popularity pair of a black woman with an asian man, whom is just slightly of an asshole.

Average Folks

Join your friendly neighborhood Prophetess Terra, and the dysfunctional Chieftain's family as they navigate life, love and creatures of an unusual sort.

My two-cents: I've binge-listened to the 1st season of this podcast. It has surprisingly great worldbuilding even though the story develops in a relatively small town. Terra is a great protagonist to follow around bu the characters that really stand out for me are the kids of the Chief and their own aspirations/conflicts about the place their family has on society. It is a bit politician/rich/monarch apologist though.

Deep Blue Stars

Dr. Indigo Hale treads upon a mysterious island, inhabited by nothing more than crabs and cranes, where they must find a way to make it past impostor syndrome, the strange and wonderful loneliness, and the secret nature of their life's work: the Star Shell.

My two-cents: This podcast came at the precise moment of my life so I always hold it dear to my heart. I was discovering my gender in my own terms, and as always struggling with my never ending loneliness, so Dr. Indigo Hale's rambles were a soothing salve. I'll never forget that excerpt about how they felt no-human growing up, 'cause yeah, maybe is the queernes, or the neuro-divergency but it hit spot on. If you like stories of people getting stranded on a desert-island and then creating a relationship with a non-human thing/animal to survive, you'll really love this.

#audiodrama sunday #podcast recommendations #audio drama #fiction podcast #average folks #deep sea stars #fanwars: the empire claps back #asking for it

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s0fter-sin · 5 months

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ghost having absolutely no self esteem until he joins the military and pinning his self-worth on his performance in the field, seeing his only value as a weapon which only gets worse when he’s legally dead and all but owned by the military makes me want to eat glass

#just this kid who was abused and neglected #also tormented by his little brother who he tries to protect from their father #hed be so starved of everything praise kindness touch #then he becomes a soldier and gets approval from an authority figure for the first time #and the better he is in the field the more reckless and ruthless the more praise he gets #he takes that confidence home #kicks out his abusive father gets his brother clean sees him make his own family and finally gets a crumb of happiness #then roba happens and he loses everyone hes ever loved in one fell swoop #and he kills simon riley right along with them #all he has left is the military #so he leaves behind his humanity and becomes an extension of the army #and theres no more praise no more approval bc you dont tell a gun its done a good job #until he joins the 141 #and they slowly unearth simon riley from the grave #and they like him for who he is not what he can do for them #not who he can kill #and for the first time in his life he feels valued for who he is #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #soapghost #ghostsoap #we’re a team. ghost team

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nerdpoe · 1 month

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Danny's really, really good at making peanut butter fudge.

Not even Jack can make it better than him.

So when Kord Industries very own Ted Kord himself comes by to look over the weird stuff the Fenton's make, his parents go just shy of begging him to make that fudge.

Mr. Kord very enthusiastically chows away at it, and while Jack and Maddie go downstairs to get more inventions, asks Danny how he perfected the recipe.

Danny answers honestly.

"Well, the only edible things in the house for a lot of the time are peanut butter and maple syrup. I learned to work with what I had."

He's pretty proud of it, but doesn't really get why Jazz turned red or why Mr. Kord got pale.

for those who do not know, Ted Kord is Blue Beetle before Jaime.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #phanfic #dp x dc #story prompt #dc x dp #neglect mention #neglect mention by a child of neglect who had no idea it was neglect #well meanings but neglectful fenton parents #the kind of parents that think because they got food then obviously there's stuff for the kids #but forgot to order for the kids #and the kids are so used to it that they don't bring it up #ted is internally freaking out rn ngl #kid just admitted to abuse

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ifbrd · 3 months

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Weird Gravity Falls question:

As fans, we’re all aware that Filbrick sucked as a dad.

But do Stan and Ford understand that?

It seems obvious to us outside viewers, but I don’t exactly recall any comments by either senior Pines twin that would suggest they have connected those dots. I believe it’s fairly normal for children of abusive, neglectful or just simply bad parents to think their parent’s behavior was normal or that they deserved it or whatever, and in addiction to not being able to remember a moment where they admit their dad sucked, they certainly have both internalized his words.

Ford continued to pursue his education and was obsessed with academic excellence, as that seemed to be the one and only thing that made his father show him any kind of appreciation.

Stan continued to obsess over money, as his dad told him that was the only way he was allowed to return home. And let’s not forget his comment in the finale “dad was right, I am a screw up”

But again, and please please correct me if I’m wrong, I can’t think of anything either of them has said that criticizes their father’s actions. There’s the comment that he “wasn’t easily impressed” which I think more than anything, serves more as an excuse for his actions. Heck, in the flashback of Stan taking boxing lessons, I felt that whole scene was framed as Filbrick being a good dad, personally, I thought he was a good dad up until A Tale of Two Stans.

Idk I guess I just always assumed that after several decades they started to understand that Filbrick wasn’t a great dad, but it’s perfectly realistic for neither of them to have come to that conclusion, and frankly, the tiny bits of evidence from the show support this being the case.

I rambled a bit here, but what do you all think? Did I forget a moment that proves they do see their dad wasn’t a good dad? Do you think they have processed that part of their childhoods?

#gravity falls #tw: abuse #tw: neglect #stan pines #ford pines #stanford pines #stanley pines #filbrick pines #at this point I’m just imagining them thinking very neutrally about their dad #more like ‘yeah this wasn’t his finest moment but he was okay!’#and then one day dipper and Mabel make some comment about how Filbrick sucked #and at first the Stans are like ‘excuse me that’s your great grandfather don’t talk about him like that’#and then the kids just start listing all the terrible things Filbrick did #and it slowly starts dawning on Stan and ford #they start thinking ‘I would kill anyone who did any of that to dipper and Mabel why was it okay for dad to do that to us?’

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bottlehawk · 1 year

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bro's biggest sin as a parent was letting dave run multiple blogs and inspiring him as a role model to become an influencer by age thirteen. that's how you know he hated him

#homestuck #bro strider #dave strider #child abuse #child neglect #bottlehawk text #most toxic passed down trait: being a blogger #second most toxic passed down trait: being a webcomic artist #he's like those parents with kids who do twitch and they just. let them

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djsherriff-responses · 3 months

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Manga spoilers, or “How Dolph’s perspective of his own memories conflict within itself”

As well as other thoughts (please please discuss this with me) Note I only read the preview pages from Google books , which while has shown the most from the manga it’s only previews and thus I am missing huge chunks of context . Also apparently there was a print issue and they’re reprinting the manga to be on shelves for Match, talk about a doomed yaoi am I right fellas?

While it’s more likely the stuff that contradicts with the show (and itself) is due to the two projects being made in different paces , as well as just general struggles writing a manga spin off of a new property, it is fun to see possible narrative purposes that can be strung from it especially for fanfic angst purposes

Particularly the fact the manga is Dolph revisiting his memories

One of the story beats of the manga that immediately stood out to me was the differences between how Dolph met Alex

In the manga it’s either day light or the very early evening seeing as how Dolph walked past groups of people and families while wondering the beach city. After Dolph fails getting pizza, he makes his way to a bar called “Spark” and finds Alex, notably surrounded by people partying and being rather jolly himself

But in the show? Drastically different flashback, different tone even

This is clearly the dead of night, and the bar called “Prism” is quiet , or at least doesn’t seem to have as much as an active rave compared to Spark. Alex is a lot more attractive relaxed here, having a smoke rather than getting frisky with some other people who notably aren’t in this flashback. While Dolph was a wreck in both anime and manga, he seemed far more on edge in the anime version.

How Alex responds is also interesting in each version. In the manga, Alex gave him a smile which made Dolph blush before passing out. But that’s not what happened in the anime. Alex just looks at him confused and a little concerned before Dolph passes over. Dolph didn’t blush, instead he remained hostile until Alex caught him and asked for his name.

So what does this mean, besides that the manga has writing issues and it probably shouldn’t be seen as “true” canon?

Even after everything Dolph has suffered and experienced, he is still looking back on his relationship with Alex through rose tinted glasses, even though they’ve cracked they’re still rose coloured.

It’s also possible Dolph may have been given some kind of false memories ,either literally through his cyborg brain or just from Alex twisting things to get into Dolph’s head to control him further (Eden may have also messed with his head but just put a pin on that)

While it is entirely possible the anime flashback is the “false” memory , if we consider how Alex planned on using Dolph until he decided to betray him , the manga version of events seems far more palatable to get Dolph to stay loyal to Alex

Think about it, an old man picking up a barely legal teenager from a club surrendered by people in daylight is a far less creepy scenario than an old man picking up a barely legal teenager at an empty club in the dead of night

So it’s probably easier to view this manga as Dolph’s “false” and true memories conflicting with one another than the true story of what happened between Dolph and Alex

A barely conscious Dolph over hearing this conversation is likely one of the few “true” memories that exists in his head. It’s worth noting as well that people who suffer from abuse can develop issues with their memory, and Dolph was a victim of Eden abusing him from early child hood , meaning he was already mentally vulnerable when he met Alex

Speaking of Dolph’s childhood trauma, he was basically (unknowingly) sold to Eden

We actually get a very brief glance of what Dolph does remember of his mother , who is obviously not a blonde sex worker who Ramon probably visited at some point but a struggling woman who was given a difficult choice due to desperation also gotta love Eden having casual eugenics in its system

Do you think Dolph’s mother is still alive? Do you think she mourns him every time she sees his face on TV? Do you think she ever tried finding him?

NOTICE THE GLITCH ON HER FACE!? “They took everything” , he probably isn’t aware of this but I’m damn sure Eden tried erasing the very memories he has of his mother

Dolph is definitely not the first the person in Eden to undergo cybernetics enhancements. I seriously doubt Sarah became a full bodied cyborg Templar after Dolph became Captain Laserhawk, but this was likely a much more specific trail the scientists were doing.

While it could’ve been for some mysterious purpose we do not know off yet, based on limited knowledge I have atm it’s likely Dolph was one the first child soldiers Eden produced. Do make note that the scientist refers to Dolph as a test subject to be used and tamed rather than a human child and that Dolph refers to himself as property , Eden was testing ways to make children into tools to be owned

How much of these memories are “true” though is unclear, considering Dolph himself gives some confusing information

At the beginning of the manga Dolph states he was 4 when he began his training, but later on says he wouldn’t leave the facility for the next 8 years.

Meaning he would’ve been 12 when he entered the outside world

That hmmm, that seems a bit weird? Right? Like, even by Eden standards I’m sure that’s a bit young to let a armed child fight terrorists, or maybe Eden really is that messed up

…..maybe Dolph really did become a traumatised Cyborg before Sarah, damn

Still I’m going to count that as weird because I highly doubt even Eden could get people to ignore a middle schooler in their police force. Also possible Dolph just sucks at maths

Another note worthy thing is Lucy

Lucy is essentially Dolph’s childhood friend who is the daughter of one of the scientists experimenting on him. Lucy was the one who kept Dolph’s spirits up and gave him hope when he had none, and pushed him to keep going in hopes of becoming a “superhero”

A pretty damn manipulative relationship when you actually think about the fact Lucy is going to become Dolph’s boss when they’re older and Dolph has no say in the matter

The thing is, I actually don’t think Lucy was ever a real person, or at least I think much of what Dolph is remembering of her is fabricated , even more so than how he is remembering Alex

Obviously once I am able to read the full manga that point is going to be harder to believe in

But Dolph having a child hood friend who is always cheering him on no matter what? She just happens to be the scientist’s daughter and thus can visit him whenever? Lucy being such a kind and caring soul that Dolph doesn’t want to leave the facility and thus her behind? The notable lack of Dolph interacting with other children being experimented on? Dolph not knowing any kids showing symptoms of being traumatised and him and those children having conflicts because of that?

Lucy seems too good to be true

Until the part Lucy tells Dolph to shoot a kid, but Google books won’t let me read past this page so no clue what happens after

Based off of what I found on Assassins Creed wiki, Lucy was basically a double agent for the assassin to infiltrate the templars , only to decided to join the Templars for real and turn her back on the Brotherhood. Kinda interesting how Dolph’s “friend” back then had strong ties to the Assassin Creed games

Anyways before I finish this post I want to go back to Alex

Two things we learn here

Alex was the first person Dolph ever slept with

Alex set things up (a fight) to it make it easier to get Dolph to get into bed with him

So obviously Dolph was not some kinky bad boy before meeting Alex (side note but I feel a bit awkward about some jokes I’ve made about Dolph’s sexuality knowing the context of the manga now) and it was even mentioned in other pages Eden didn’t even let Dolph “have” a sexuality to speak off, basically raised to take orders. confirms my theory that “Captain Laserhawk” was for branding purposes not because Dolph actually lead a team

But also something far more important to address, Alex manipulated both Dolph and the situations that they were in order to get sexual with Dolph, a barely legal teenager with little life experience and who never had any prior experiences with that sort of relationship

Even though Dolph did consent, he had no clue what Alex was doing and was being manipulated by him

While I do think this memory is true , it does make me wonder if all of Dolph’s sexual encounters with Alex was this sweet and gentle , or if Alex pushed Dolph further into activities he may not have been comfortable with?

It’s really interesting to see that Dolph did comfort Alex sometimes rather than him being the one needing calming and that Dolph wanted a fresh slate in life. The poor guy was down bad from day one and probably would’ve shoved a wedding dress on if Alex popped out a ring

Really hilarious to see Alex get angry about Eden “fucking experimenting on kids” as if he didn’t just bang a teenage virgin young enough to be his son

There’s also an irony in seeing Alex be the revenge seeking one, though idk if that’s genuine or part of an act

Conclusion: Dolph doesn’t remember how events actually happened because people literally tempered with his brain and because he has a ton of repressed memories , Marcus Holloway probably should go back to college before continuing his therapist career and Alex is a groomer

#captain laserhawk spoilers #captain laserhawk #dolph laserhawk #Tw grooming #Tw child abuse #tw child neglect #tw abuse #tw child death #Rambles #not safe for kids #It’s almost 2 am I should sleep #Damn you hyper fixations #I wanna get the manga so bad but I want a physical copy and that’s just being awkward #Anyone who has read the full manga let me know any worthwhile information

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