I. Feel. So trans right now. Got stretchy blue jeans, blue bee socks, a flowery t shirt, pink blue and yellow jacket, blue and pink butterfly clips, and my new white bra that’s actually amazing. So trans

when I realized I was non binary I had a huge shift in presentation (from fem to masc). i just suddenly became very uncomfortable in feminine clothes, wearing makeup, doing "feminine" things, etc. I gave away some of my feminine clothes and tried to sell some too, but obviously I couldn't get rid of everything so it kinda just all went into boxes in my closet that I never open. To my baby non binary self, I just could not imagine ever being comfortable wearing certain things. Now, three years later and with a binder and short hair, I find myself very comfortable in a masc presentation but wanting to revisit that fem presentation. Today I was trying on some of my old crop tops with a binder and there was one crop top that I loved so much that is so cute, but it just didn't look good with a binder (it was too low cut). so I went looking in my closet for a bra! like an actual bra! not a too small sports bra that I used when I didn't have a binder, but a bra with a clasp in the back that make your boobs look good! I'm still looking for one, but I did end up opening one of the boxes of feminine stuff in my closet. and it was kinda emotional. for one thing, it had headbands, which I desperately wanted and cursed myself for hiding upon growing out a buzzcut for the first time. but the box also had a bunch of perfume samples and cheap jewelry and some actually nice jewelry! I put on one of the perfumes that I loved when I was younger and I looked at the plastic bracelets I would wear and the earrings and the handmade jewelry my family has gifted me and I just feel so... overwhelmed? nostalgic? sad? overwhelmed because I kinda created a mess on my bedroom floor (when I was looking for something else) ((while just trying to get dressed for the day)), nostalgic because I remember wearing this stuff! and sad because I remember wearing this stuff and being really unhappy and socially awkward and masking... I wanted people to like me so bad and thought maybe if I was cute, if I was pretty, if I presented in a feminine way people would want to be my friend and maybe want to be more. but it didn't really work. I think part of the reason I hid all this stuff in boxes was because it reminded me of that performance that always failed, and realizing im non binary gave me an excuse to stop performing in the first place. but now im still very socially awkward, maybe even more so now, but at least im not performing. so I feel much more secure in myself to explore that feminine presentation, even though Im trans masc. (sorry for the rant I just....)

anyway normalize trans mascs being fem and trans fems being masc! yeah!

Submitted June 21, 2023

//Kinda feeling like death today, so here's a reminder for all y'all out there who bind: Don't do that when you've got respiratory shit going on!

I've been going a lot more places lately than I have the last 8 months. And I'm rather uncomfortable leaving the house without a binder on. My chest makes me horribly dysphoric. And so I've been wearing a binder for hours at a time on a daily basis - including while haunting, which is very physical - when I'd not been wearing one pretty much at all for months. (I don't when I'm home because it's just me. Didn't with Clint here, either, because Clint's a transguy, he gets this shit. We also lived together for years.) And this is allergy season for me and my asthma is always worse this time of year. And I ignored all of that and proceeded to wear a binder for hours at a time anyway because I'm an idiot. And now my chest aches, I've got a bad cough, and I can feel the congestion in my chest.

Wearing a binder compresses your chest. (Kinda the point...) That makes it more difficult to breathe, because it's harder for your lungs to expand. So if you've got respiratory crap going on, binding will make it worse. It's often uncomfortable for people who do bind to go out someplace and not bind. I'm an enby and Clint's a transman, we both have that issue and have discussed it at length. (He's definitely going to yell at me when I tell him about this... I've yelled at him for the exact same thing.) It is very uncomfortable. But ultimately your health is the most important thing. If it's not safe for you to not bind - such as if you're going to be around people who don't know you're AFAB and might be hostile - that's one thing. But if you can avoid it while sick, do so. For some folks, a tight fitting sports bra can help. That's what I'm going to be doing for a while. Baggy shirts can also help hide your chest. And it's hoodie/sweater seaon if you live in the Northern Hemisphere. It's not comfortable to not bind, because dysphoria, but it's better for your health. Sucks, but you'll get better much faster if you're not binding. And then you can go back to binding.

But yeah, I'm just gonna be over here hacking up a lung. If anybody wants to get ahold of me, I'll be around, but I'll be on mobile. And remember to take care of yourselves!

hiii i don't really know where else to go ask this but I wanted some advice? 👉🏾👈🏾 I was thinking about binders but I looked it up and they look kinda uncomfortable and idk what to do, I don't really hate my breasts that much I'm okayish with loose clothes but it's the fitted clothes that make me hate them, im thinking sports bras but, I mean, idk yknow, are there more comfortable binders or other solutions for them?

Oooooooooh boi Okay I’m gonna speak from what I’ve seen and from my own experience, please read carefully this is important

I do not recommend homemade binders (bandages and stuff) and shitty cheap stuff you find on Amazon at all, they can really hurt bad especially if you’re still growing up. Same goes with sports bras, you might think putting several tight sports bras on do the work but it doesn’t, and it’s bad and it hurts.

I’ve actually experienced both. I once cosplayed a girl whose top simply consisted of bandages and I was so terrified it might fall off I put on a strapless bra, plus a lot of super tight bandages, all day. Even if my sole purpose wasn’t to flatten my chest, it had the same effect as if I’d tried to. I distinctly remember my ribs hurting for several days after that.  

Same goes with sports bras.This time I did try to bind with them (putting on several sports bras) and it was bad. My shoulders still remember the pain. Now if one sport bra is enough to flatten your chest to your convenience, then that’s good. But putting more that one, or a too small/tight bra is definitely not a solution, and it doesn’t bind that well.

I do, however, own a binder by GC2B, and they are the absolute best. I followed their sizing instruction measuring myself very pointedly, and it fits just right. It is still meant to bind so it’s tight, but I can move and breathe. (It’s however not recommended to exercise with them or to wear them more than 8 hours.) They might be a bit pricey but it’s really really top quality, and it’s owned by trans people so they know their stuff. They are undoubtedly the best binding option out there. Plus, there is a lot of information on their site on how to bind properly with their binders. (for example by pushing the breasts up and not down)

Here’s a pic of me for reference, I’m a C-D cup and my chest size is around 90cm.

Please Please Please bind safely and trust me, binders that are specially designed to flatten your chest while letting you breathe are better than any diy solution you might think of, and they are not as uncomfortable as they look.

You can find more information on binders sizes here (GC2B’s sizing guide) (reminder, they might be pricey but they are trans-POC owned !)

Good day

Happy Birthday! (Nico Birthday Week)

Trans Nico fic

Tw: pain, dysphoria, period mention, unsafe binding

-

Nico inevitably woke up in pain, although he figured he could bare it today. He'd been told pretty adamantly not to train today, but he didn't want to sit around and do nothing, so once he was awake and ready, he walked slowly to the infirmary. His joints ached badly, but he wouldn't be walking around too much anyway, so it was nothing he couldn't handle for today. He'd decided to spend the day helping Will out- of course, Will would probably refuse if Nico asked, so he was just going to turn up and start helping with the stock rooms- he could sit on the shelves to sort through the boxes and count everything and take note of what they were running low on. 

Of course, when Will found him sitting on the shelves counting out bottles of testosterone, he was less than pleased. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

"Helping," Nico replied, "you're running low on ace bandages and nectar but there's enough ambrosia to last a few months at least. I'm counting out the testiclerone." Will's wheezing laugh alerted Nico that not only had he mispronounced testosterone, but he'd said the word testicle and both boys were too immature to not overreact. Nico facepalmed. "Oh balls," he sighed, then realised he'd basically made the same mistake twice, laughing at himself quietly. 

"If you're not going to be mature," Will chastised, but he was definitely being more immature than Nico was with his bright glow from the laughter, "then get out of my stock cupboard."

"Never I've established a nest," Nico protested.

"I ordered you to rest."

"I am resting," Nico argued, "I don't wanna just sit in my cabin when I could be helpful."

"But it's your birthday," Will whined, "you shouldn't be counting out medicines you should be out having fun!"

"It's not my birthday," Nico said slowly, and Will raised his eyebrows.

"Nico, it's the 28th. It's your birthday today."

"...oh," Nico whispered, after a while.

"Did you… dude, did you forget your own birthday?"

"It… it's not important," Nico sighed with a huff, turning his attention back to counting, "it's just a day."

"Is there a reason you don't wanna celebrate?"

"No," Nico shrugged, "not particularly…"

"Then let's go!" Will had grabbed Nico's hand before he could process what was happening, and his best friend was dragging him away.

Will brought him ice cream, which Nico appreciated- he had chocolate, whilst Will had strawberry. Nico was having fun at first, but he started to feel out of place as they shopped for clothes. All the men were so tall, and Nico was terrified to talk should his voice give him away. It had been easy to pass his higher register off as puberty not starting yet, but Will was fifteen too, and his voice had already started breaking. He always had a very clumsy shaving rash, and acne certainly wasn't his best friend, and he was tall. Nico on the other hand was currently battling a heavy period making him feel like he was gonna vomit and the growth of two lumps on his chest he was binding tightly in the hope they wouldn't grow anymore or be noticeable.

Even most of the extra small clothes would be too big for him. Nothing in the adult men's department was going to fit him. He felt like everyone around him knew, like everybody was looking at him wondering what some little girl was doing there. "Will," he said quietly, dysphoria and anxiety spiking through the roof, "I need to get out of here…"

"Ah, shit, sure," Will said, hurrying Nico out of the store. He took him to a small café, ordering himself a milkshake. Nico opted for tea to calm his nerves. His dysphoria was bad, and he knew he'd need the bathroom soon to change pads, and he wasn't binding safely. Will didn't know yet, and Nico really wanted to confide in him. He'd been thinking about coming out to Will for a while now, and it clear Will was concerned about him. Nico felt comfortable around Will. He'd never come out to anyone at camp- Bianca had known, and his dad had figured it out. Of course, Nico was terrified to come out, but he knew Will would accept him. 

"Hey, Will?" He began quietly, and the nerves washed over him in overwhelming waves. He almost backed out, but he reminded himself that things would be okay. "I have something I want to tell you."

"Is it that you stole my last cookie? Because you totally stole my last cookie." 

"That was Kayla," Nico corrected quickly, and Will was probably about to shout out loud, but Nico quickly hurried out a small "it's serious."

Will instantly leaned forwards, giving a reassuring but concerned smile. He was glowing softly, comfortingly. "I'm here," he said softly, and Nico took a deep shaky breath.

"It's uh… something about me," he said, "something personal."

"It's okay," Will reassured softly, "I'm listening."

Nico didn't really know how to say it. He'd always imagined it would be such a long and personal conversation, but as soon as he mustered up the courage, it was only two words. "I'm trans…"

Will was silent for a while, and Nico began to panic, but Will wouldn't reject him, he highly doubted it. He knew Will was just trying to figure out how to respond out of respect and care. "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to trust me with that," he said eventually, "is there anything in particular that I do that makes you feel uncomfortable that you need me to stop doing, or- or anything in general to avoid?"

"You haven't made me uncomfortable," Nico said, feeling more able to force the words out, "just uh… no feminine language, and don't draw attention to any feminine things unless it's y'know… period leakage or medical related. And uh… I don't want you to tell anyone at camp, I'm not ready and I don't feel safe enough."

"Of course, dude," Will reassured, "may I ask you something personal?"

"I trust you," Nico replied, and Will smiled softly, a dark amber hue seeping into his glow.

"I noticed we're always running low on ace bandages. Is that…. what you're using to um-"

"Bind," Nico filled in, before nodding. 

"Would it be okay if I go buy you a sports bra so you don't have to and you go into the bathroom and put it on and take the bandages off? I know which boy's bathrooms have clean stalls and I'll come with you so you feel less scared. And uh- I know it won't squash you as much as you want, but I'll give you my jacket. Would that help? And when we get back to camp you can borrow my laptop in the infirmary and order a proper binder and measure yourself up properly."

"I'd really appreciate that, like… a lot… just don't get too flustered seeing lots of knickers and please don't get distracted trying bras on over your head. And uh… I don't feel comfortable in public bathrooms anyway, but I can't go into the men's room today, I uh… have bleeding."

"I would not!" Will protested, but his face said otherwise. "Anything I can do to help the dysphoria or hormones?"

"Just continue treating me like any other guy?"

"Of course," Will said softly.

"I don't think I can walk around for very long," Nico added after a comfortable silence, "my pain's getting to me."

"Wanna have a movie marathon in your cabin when we get back? I uh… I also kinda got you a birthday present I've been waiting to give you."

"Yeah," Nico blushed, "sounds great. So uh… you got me a gift?"

"Happy Birthday," Will said softly, handing over a small box. Nico opened it and almost bounced out of his seat- it was the latest mythomagic expansion pack he'd been saving up for. 

"Are you serious," Nico grinned, "you got me mythomagic? Will!"

"I thought you might like them," Will said, "I was uh… kinda gonna take you on a date today but I chickened out on asking you properly."

"You wanted to go on a date? With- with me? But- I thought you liked Lou-Ellen?"

"Well yeah, but that was like- a year ago. And I'm not straight, I'm bi. As in girls and guys. Well- not just girls and guys but you get my point. And you're a guy who's um. Who's pretty handsome. So uh. Um. It's… it's totally cool if-"

"Dork," Nico interrupted with a smirk, "took you long enough to ask me."

"So uh- is that a yes?" Nico almost whacked him with a pillow, except he didn't have one. He felt confident and happy for once. It had been a good birthday. 

@solangeloweek

so while you were still coming to terms with your gender identity, did you ever feel this sudden surge of doubt even after you were sure? Like, it's weird, but wearing "boy" clothes and having a short haircut and like shaving my peach fuzz and using he/him pronouns and binding, packing and all that makes me feel great, but then I'll look at the mirror or something and see my chest (because like I use sport bras, because I'm still in the closet and can't get binders, so it's kinda obvious) (1/?)

and just I'd find myself thinking "but I don't even look like a man" and then I'd start feeling awful and even though I enjoy picturing myself in my head as a cis man I try picturing myself as a cis woman and that makes me feel even more fucking awful and then I start thinking that I'm not a man after all and it's just really weird. I have no problem accepting another person's gender identity, but when it comes to my own, I just can't for some reason. How did you come to terms with it? (2/2)

This happened to me all the time for sure. It even happens now sometimes just not as severe.

The biggest way I had dealt with it was reminding myself that I've done this over again and again. It's pointless to do it again, it's pointless at this point to question it again when all it does is get me stressed out.

And even if the thought of "what if" keeps going, I repeat myself. "How many times have I been through this with myself? I've gone through the same thought process again and again yet nothing has changed. I'm done questioning." I try not to feed into it in that way.

It takes time though so you won't see them start fading immediately. For me though it did help.

warning: mental illness, dysphoria-body image mentions, ED type mentions, shark week ish, bottom growth/related stuff n.sfwish? depending on how you take it- also packers,etc mention (naturally it varies by verse,etc but i’m mostly sharing pretty consistent information- also dont be stupid about any of this like i stg) -his puberty got kind of messed up like he so badly despised it, plus his mental health issues and all that basically by sheer force of messed up will/chemical backfires,etc it had an reaction like how stress affects those things as in... in regards to shark week was so inconsistent, so very much to the point he has these meds he’s supposed to take that basically kick his body the rest of the way into doing the process/is supposed to make it quick, done way sooner with less pain due to effectiveness even (he obviously forgets genuinely/fights against the whole situation leading to major cramps and issues even if he isnt bleeding) will go like 3 months of risking major health damage over it. (going on t makes this all worst because doctors like ‘okay now you really need to cause now you’re having more issues’ and he just- doesn’t) -really knows way too much medical shit in general,  naturally he’s very much an ‘why does life work like this why are people so ashamed of normal stuff’ etc but also dude will balk at stuff like ‘ugh im on my period’ xav just grimacing inwardly all like why must i be reminded that’s an thing.. ha ha not me lemme repress shit as such dude will carry extras,etc but is very much trying to be an punk dudebro about it/even if is basically screaming internally about it all, trying to never think about that stuff -k.t tape binds most the time, if not just doesn’t bother cause of his body shape/type and mood+ outfit+ plans for the day. however he does own an binder, sports bras work and are more often the case. as such most the dysphoria hits in different ways, elsewhere (but with his general puberty complications/fast metabolism,etc he also just forgets he’s trans an lot like he gets hit in the crotch and falls over in pain then 10 seconds later like ha ha wait what the hell i’m not even packing) -dude is pretty slender,etc from his fast metabolism, shit eating habits (because he can eat like 5 whole pizzas and not get slightly full or bloated but also he frequently lives off like candy, energy drinks,etc vices...) though it also can vary to kinda athletic and he doesn’t seem like mega unhealthy at least lol in that department plus with what he wears,etc usually unnoticeable (he is super easy to pick up especially if unconscious even that add of dead weight is pretty light but like not easy to tackle) -totally pumps his bottom growth not even entirely in that ahem sesual way but in an genuinely helps with pain/helps with dysphoria (not that his growth is bad at all but also, it kinda helps with that too) like i mean obviously splurged too so he can just like pull some pants on, play video games or whatever as it does its thing -likewise doesn’t skimp on things like packers, has an major collection/gets lower dysphoria? dude will drop like 1000 dollars on more options even if has plenty that are high grade, expensive not even sesually though of course many purposes and he’s only an person like anybody else/plus that t juice fueling an already high libido,etc but anyways yes he sometimes prefers to be like lol glow in the dark d.ick is my packer even though i have an 3 in 1 that cost so much money and is multifunctional (also he 100% for fun, aesthetic, and boredom sometimes pierces them) -general body image issues/disconnect problems due to his mental illness more than dysphoria, being trans surprisingly more stuff like ‘oh right this is what my body is? you mean to tell me for the last 48 hours was watching myself in 3rd person but didn’t notice- oops.’ but also damn is he pretty much like i know i’m aesthetically pleasing, hot and i will flaunt it even if not quite full of myself -likewise mirrors? he makes faces at himself, flips himself off and has totally shattered an large amount of them because he started thinking too much about if his freckles are visible,etc same with reflections though isnt always super mega serious can just be to make himself giggle/habitual

My Gender and how I understood it (warning it's really long)

Since no one that I know in real life follows my Tumblr, I wanted to post this here. Okay, to start this out ill just tell you my gender is kinda meh🤷.

So I’ve always respected and loved trans people and I was quite educated about trans people especially trans ftm people because 1, my friend had come out to me as trans ftm and 2, because the majority of trans people on youtube are ftm and YouTube was the easiest way to educate myself as a 10 year old kid. I didn’t know much about nonbinary people, I knew they existed and I knew what it meant, I just didn’t overly educate myself like I did when learning about ftm trans guys.

Lets talk about childhood, when I was pretty young, I hated dresses and skirts and anything pink and I was an extreme tomboy and I would go around saying “I want to be a boy” I don’t think that I realised it was an actual option because I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually wanted to be a boy. I am pretty sure all that was just because I wanted to be unique in a family of all girls, I had 6 sisters and a single mum. I think the first time I heard about trans people (which I actually learnt about really young because 1 of my sisters was really into educating us on queer stuff) I actually considered if I might be trans but I brushed it off straight away because I realised that I was just a tomboy and I didn’t actually want to be a boy, from then on I didn’t question my gender for ages. I wasn’t bothered by being called girl/she so I had no reason for questions about my gender to come into my head. Fun fact I remember when I was young I understood that it was unacceptable to touch other peoples boobs so that was something I was looking forward to getting when I was really young, because they looked so squishable. Even though that’s something that I don’t like having now.

Okay puberty stuff. The things about puberty that I didn’t like periods and boobs, I don’t really mind my hips and waist. Okay, periods, I hate the existence of my period to the point that I will ignore it for most of it. I will put a big overnight pad on and I refuse to change it for the entire week unless it starts to leak or something, gross I know, because if I change it, it will remind me that it exists, is that dysphoria, maybe to be honest idk. Okay boobs, when I started to develop a chest I didn’t think it was good enough so I overcompensated and wore padded sports bras abut I always hated it and felt fake so stopped and realised that I hated that it was even there, I didn’t like looking at it, I didn’t like anyone mentioning my chest at all. I am very uncomfortable with anything to do with my chest. Is that dysphoria, maybe.

The first time I heard of they/them pronouns i thought they were so cool and wanted to be able to claim them but I didn’t think that I had the right to since I didn’t even think about the possibility of me being nonbinary.

I started properly questioning my gender shortly after I had finally figured my sexuality and was feeling good about that. I heard of agender, the lack of gender or no gender I thought that sounded great and I realised it may apply to me. Id never really thought about my own gender and my brain thought that maybe because I never thought about gender that I didn’t have one, okay I realise that’s not really how it works but I still thought the word agender fit me so well. One day I decided to try to bind my chest to see how that would look, I tried with bandages(I know its very unsafe but its all I had access to) in my room at 3am I was amazed I was so happy and realised that I didn’t like my chest,(I took off the bandages after a few minutes because bandages are extremely unsafe to bind with) and I’m so lucky my older sister has ordered me a real binder from gc2b and its on its way and I’m so excited.

But then there was the roadblock I didn’t feel discomfort being called she/her/girl and feminine things (although I did hate the words women or lady). Although after I started questioning I did notice a lot more when someone would call me that. But I also wouldn’t care if I was mistaken for a boy, when I was younger and got my first short haircut, people would mistake me for a boy fairly often and I didn’t really care at all. So I don’t mind if you use she/he but I’m pretty sure I would prefer they/them although its never been used to describe me so idk.

Anyway I’m pretty sure I’m agender but I don’t have a big problem with being perceived as a girl. It would be a lot of work to socially transition and I don’t really feel like I care enough, for it to be worth it, a lot of other trans people care a lot more. I would probably prefer to be free to be agender and use they/them pronouns but its just easier to identify as a girl. (this was meant to be the conclusion but it just doesn’t feel right as I’m typing it)

That doesn’t feel like the right ending, this was meant to explain why I am agender but have decided to just identify as a girl for at least the time being before I start to hate that I’m a girl, but instead having it all written here it makes me realise why I should live as myself an agender person.

If you got to the end, give me advise please!

Does the 8 hour rule for binding change if I’m wearing a fursuit? Genuinely asking because I’ve just started work on a fursuit as a project and i plan on wearing it out, however I don’t feel comfortable leaving the house without a binder on. Thanks

Lee says:

Hmm. Obviously, you shouldn’t be binding longer if you’re wearing a fursuit- but I don’t think there’s any particular agreed upon number of hours that you should wear it for in this situation. I’d say be cautious of dehydration because it might be hot (also see this post about binding in hot weather) and listen to your body. 

Try to take a scheduled quiet moment away from the action every few hours- it can help to set an alarm on your phone so you’ll be reminded to do this, and if you set your alarm to your ringtone then you can pretend you’re taking a phone call and need to go somewhere quieter if you need an excuse, or you can say you have to go to the bathroom.

Sometimes when you’re hanging out with friends (or doing whatever furries do in their outfits- parades? conventions?) and you’re caught up in all the excitement you can miss cues from your body. I know that I personally have sensory issues because I’m on the spectrum, and I don’t always realize when something is feeling “off” but by the time I get home and I’m able to relax and then notice it then it’s too late because the damage has been done. 

Even if you don’t have those issues, it’s still good to be able to take a moment for a few deep breaths and a check in with your body to see if you need to take the binder off or not. 

If you do need to take your binder off, you should have something to change into with you. You can carry a bra, maybe a comfortable sports bra, in a bag to change into in a bathroom. You could get a mini-sized backpack, a drawstring knapsack, a computer bag, a messenger bag, or a fanny pack. I usually carry a small one-strap backpack (like this). If you plan on carrying a bag in advance, you can theme it to match your outfit if you’d like, and maybe carry a water bottle in there too.

If your fursuit covers your chest/torso, then you may not need to wear a binder- you can probably get away with wearing a sports bra because nobody will be able to tell what’s under that suit, like how you never know what/who is inside a mascot which makes them kind of scary (is that just me?).

Our Binding FAQ has general guidelines on safe binding, so check that out as well.

Followers, does anyone have any tips gained through personal experience for anon?

Followers say:

marowreck said: Hey, from personal experience: do NOT bind while wearing a fursuit if you live in a hot climate, or at least avoid at all costs, and specially if it is a fullsuit. Even fursuits with good ventilation can get really hot. Seriously, a partial suit (paws, tail and head) is enough to make you sweat pails. You can, and will get clammy all over after a few minutes, and since heads (beginner’s, specially) tend to have poor ventilation youll just not be able to breathe at all. Without a binder on i could only manage to stay with my head on for half an hour at a time (got slightly dehydrated and i was dizzy by the time i finally took it off after 4 hours) in a place with ac. If it’s a fullsuit you can get some chest or body padding or something to mask of the bulge on your chest (and it looks stunning on digitigrades), though long fur is good enough to mask it. Id recommed using a good sports bra instead of a binder. No matter what you wear, you will be sweaty and hot, so just try to do everything possible to be comfortable.

knightofcaliginousrage13 said: If it’s a full-suit, definitely take frequent breaks(I know it’s tedious to take the whole thing off to remove your binder but better safe than sorry). If it’s a partial you should still take breaks, but they may not have to be as often. As Lee said, listen to your body, and maybe set reminders on your phone. Also never go suiting alone!! Make sure to have someone with you who’s not suiting to make sure you don’t bump into things or overheat(even if they’re not in the fandom, find a friend or family member who’s willing to carry water and other things for you). I also recommend buying a mini fan you can wear around your neck(or if you have the skill to do so, maybe install one in the fursuit head, but it’s kinda hard to do). You can get them on Amazon for around 10-15 USD(just search “necklace fan”). Stay safe and happy suiting! 💖🐾

cupcake-souls said: I would just suggest to really know your limits with binding+fursuiting before you go out somewhere with it! They get very hot very quickly and I’m not sure I would recommend binding in them if you don’t have a way to get the binder off immediately!

heartsbanegardener asked: said: You should already have someone dedicated as your handler to make sure you don’t bump into things. Maybe ask them to help you find quiet places or headless lounges(furry cons have dedicated spaces for fursuiters to chill out of sight from others). Also maybe develop a way to quickly let them know you need out. Speaking from personal experience with helping my own brother! Hope this helps!

guiltyidealist said: I would also be careful about overheating. As far as I know, both binders and fursuits are notorious for making their wearers much hotter than usual. I think it’s possible to install a fan inside of a fursuit, but that’s probably much more elaborate.

vivianthesiren said: I feel like if you padded the suit right you’d be able to go without looking like you have anything of a chest depending upon how big your chest is

been gaining weight pretty quickly this month (which is good! i’m glad i seem to be improving a lot with eating normally again and my stomach is slowly tolerating things better) and i’m pretty disaociated from my body i didnt realize how much i lost before its kinda wild the few moments of clarity i did have (like it wasnt objectively a shocking image just in comparison to my typical weight throughout the past few years) and now ive only started realizing ive gained weight again because my boobs keep ffucking hurting like i’m going through puberty again to a lesser extent i havent worn bras regularly in like a year and a half (and no i dont have small ones i know a lot of people with breasts my size think its something they physically cant do or w/e but really as long as you dont care about looking “saggy” (so what lol) physically i think its actually felt better for me than the “support” of a bra i only wear sports bras with button ups to avoid when they open up) but yeah god i might need to wear one for a bit again just bc they hurt lol i think this maybe is a sign to start actively pursuing transition stuff again soon

wait actually coming back to this like an hour later bc i was curious what my bra size is and

why is sizing so complicated it should not be this hard what

i think i only thought i knew how it worked before because i wayyyy measured myself wrong

what are you even supposed to do for measuring when the middle of them sags well below where your band measurement is

trying to look this up just made me angry because instead of tips for properly measuring i only got “prevent saggy breasts” “saggy breasts are a problem that effects some women when they age or breast feed heres our special expensive bras to treat them” like literally shut up theres nothing “wrong” about it thats literally just how things are gonna be for most people with larger breasts. i should not be surprised but even the smallest forays into femininity never fail to disappoint me

thought i was like a 36~38D~DD but i’m actually like . somewhere in the broad category of 32~34F~K no matter which method of measuring/chart i used. which is wild because at only slightly less than i am now i thought i was a B cup for ages just because i wore the tightest sports bras lolol

so lol yeah i already wasn’t planning on buying any more bras but like. that cements it bc thats even more expensive and inaccessible

also maybe some of my posture issues are from my boobs??? but bras did literally nothing for that. granted they werent the right size i’m learning now but i don’t like their general feeling or how they look on me or anything. binding also isn’t possible most of the time for me anymore with my fibro and chronic fatigue and how it exacerbates back problems/muscle and rib pain/preexisting shortness of breath so i’m actually really happy with where i’ve come to in the past couple years in feeling comfortable with my breasts as they naturally sit/look and not feeling constantly aware of them and just letting them be and part of my body just wearing what i wear without bras. i still am pretty sure i’d like top surgery because aesthetically it’d be easier for me and it’d make a lot of outfits less of a hassle to pull off and button ups would be easier because i wouldnt have to choose between camis when its hot out and ill fitting sports bras. and like. yeah i still have some gender dysphoria (for lack of a better term. idk how to say it shortly without getting into All That personally) surrounding them but i think its a lot less central than it used to be when i had to think about wearing bras and even binders and stuff they just felt a lot more central to my life and alien while now i could deal with them probably outside of the still consistent but less constant reminders of 1. i am a person who is perceived by others and 2. sometimes just. objectively physically they are uncomfortable and annoying and 3. the taboo on showing them in our world and how our clothing is structured doesnt help

Hi. I’m considering binding because I think I might be gender fluid/flux I like my chest most of the time but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. My only worry is that I tend to freak out when things are to tight on me or I feel like I can’t breath. Like I right bikini top I’ll have a meltdown. If you bind do you think they are very tight?

I don't bind, but I do wear a compression bra, and it can be rather tight. However, if you do decide to get the binder, I would suggest getting a size larger than what you need! And if you decide not to, sports bras or compression bras work well, but again, kinda tight, so look into getting a size bigger than what you need!!

Another reminder: don't wear these for more than eight hours!! And if you find it hard to breathe or feel pain in your chest, take it off immediately!!

I hope I was of some help! Have a great day and stay safe, Anon!!

Just read - tw dysphoria

Ever since I came out last year, late June, I've been struggling. I can't leave my house without adding my parents if I look enough like a guy. I can't have my hair fall a certain way, or wear my favorite t-shirts anymore. I can't wear my old pants, or shoes. I can't even wear socks from the women's section, because I know where they came from. I can't take off my binder, it hurts to emotionally. I can't walk, breathe, talk, or do anything. My brain will constantly remind me, "isn't that what a girl would do".

When I came out to my now boyfriend, he reacted well, as did my family. However, up until now, my cousins don't talk to me the same way. My family doesn't talk to me in fear of how I'll treat them if they mess up. I feel like shit that I made them feel that way. I've told them so many times that, "as long as it's an accident, I promise I won't be mad", but they don't seem to believe me. I'm trying to make normal friends at school, and it's hard. It's hard for me to talk to people because of my voice, my looks. I know I don't look like a guy. I try to talk to people, and no matter how well it goes there's always my thought in the back of my head. "They think you're a girl." "They hear your voice." "They're lying." And I hate it. I have maybe two real friends, along with my boyfriend. Sometimes I even feel like they're lying.

My mom took me shopping a month ago to get clothes for a dance. We were gone for 5 hours. Nothing would fit me. We went from store to store looking for pants and shirts. We had to settle on a shirt too big for me, and pants whose waist was too small. I know that since I'm AFAB, men's clothes aren't made for my body type, but when you can't even find anything to fit you in youth, it's kinda triggering. It also doesn't help that with scoliosis, my hips are even more pronounced.

I can't take a shower until the sun sets. Even then I close my eyes and look up. I wait until it's pitch black go remove my boxers and binder. Until I can't see my reflection. I'll shower, and I cry. The shower is where you think. I think of old age, relationships, family. I once broke down because I imagined myself growing up to be an old lady, not an old man. I can't even think about that. It's so painful to even imagine myself as being a girl, or being feminine. I think back to jr high. I bound my chest, wore only sports bras. I tried to pic masc shirts, and only ever wore jeans and sneakers. I would spend my lunchtime alone. After I ate I would take myself to a corner and cry. I would just cry. This corner wasn't private. It was right next to the lunch door. Guess how many people helped me. Go ahead... None. Thoughout a whole semester of me balling my eyes out in a corner and dying on the inside, not one person stopped to ask if I was ok.

I want it to stop. I dont want to feel like this. I don't want to be sad. I don't WANT DYSPHORIA. I just want to be a man. I want to have a flat chest. I want a real penis.

Hey uh ftm question, I'm pre-T and I've heard like a lot of stuff saying u should work out like pre transition to help with like dysphoria and stuff, but I can't take my binder off without breaking down and u can't really wear it while exercising. Do u have any tips for pre-T dysphoria? I can't get T for at least another 6/7 months and its getting so hard to deal with.

yeah, of course! it took me like five years after coming out to friends to finally be able to independently afford testosterone, so like i had to do some of my own stuff to become comfortable with me during that time. keep in mind i’m no expert, and i highly suggest looking into things online. my personal advice will be under the cut

so, as far as your work out thing, my job is essentially working out. like i put on a twenty pound costume and do cardio. i don’t typically wear my binder for this because i already have some breathing issues, and i want to let my ribs relax. i have read some places you can wear a binder a size up for exercise (like on the card that comes with Gc2B binders but I don’t think it’s recommended), but i think it’s safest to use a sports bra and a black shirt. black clothing is a good way to conceal what’s going on underneath. it’s a tip i was given for an audition, and it really works. i may have been conscious about what i felt, but knowing other people couldn’t really tell did help ease my mind. i really think this is the best method because it’s better safe than sorry down the line. there are sports bras that can compress and hold things you don’t want down so yeah.

as far as dealing with dysphoria on a day to day basis, one of the first things i read that really helped me was the shaving trick. even if you just have peach fuzz on your face, shaving that off can give a bit of a confidence boost. it makes the hair more stubbly and most dudes don’t generally keep that around. on a side note, i also made note of what features about me were more masculine and i would highlight those. like legit i wore masculine contour to an audition to avoid misgendering and it helped my ego.

a good haircut also helped me? again, weird, but like once i stopped getting haircuts with more “feminine” framing or haircuts that had that shaggy look, it helped. 

i don’t know if you have this, but i have major height issues. there are these shoe inserts you can get for shoes with ankle support to make you an inch or two taller (i wore them when i put on my flash costume so i could feel at least a little average), but there’s also shoes with like a little inch or two on the heel and sneakers with a height boost.

one thing that absolutely didn’t help me but could help you is a packer. i had a creepy experience obtaining my first packer and also i’m allergic to the material (and it’s too big for my 5′2.5″ body) so it made me feel worse, but there are some cheap packers on etsy that come in different materials so like you could always try one of those out.

having a good support system is also wonderful! i know you may be thinking like “gee ryan i don’t want to hear people just being like ‘oh such a handsome boy. lovely boy.’ to appease me” but like knowing there are people that accept you is always helpful. also being around other trans people to share experiences with because sometimes we really do understand each other more. and by sometimes i mean like all the time. whether you’re communicating online or in person it can remind you you’re not alone. 

all-in-all dysphoria is kinda a nasty beast to deal with. even on t i still struggle with it a lot, but just funneling it into exercise or my writing or even just remembering i’m ryan and even if i don’t look the way i want to now, i’m still me, it helps. i know this may seem like a bunch of bullshit or “oh i could’ve found this generic advice anywhere” or maybe even two am ramblings (oh shit nearly three am), but i just wanted to answer you asap. if i think of anything else, i will absolutely add it.

hey, this is for anyone. i'm a 23yr old trans guy - i'm not in a place where transitioning is realistic for me yet, but my body dysphoria (i'm very curvy/traditionally feminine) is kinda holding me back in my studies (acting school) bc when working on the physicality of a character i can't let go of how uncomfortable i am in my own skin, and i'm just feeling really discouraged atm. i could really use some comfort, i guess. - kieran

To our dearest friend Kieran,

You should be proud of yourself for who you are. I certainly am.

Our human friends have told us that there has been many dark things happening in their world, but I am here to remind you that, with darkness, is light. There is goodness in the world. You are one of them.

While you are temporarily unable to transition, I hope I can find ways to help you cope and alleviate how uncomfortable you feel in the body you have at the moment.

Lucky for all of us, there is no Lord of the Boobs, so we don’t have any One Single Binder to Rule us All, and in the darkness, Bind them.

Here are some good links for binders that can help you feel a little more comfortable in your body--if you already know about binders, perhaps this is a good starting point on finding the best binder(s) that fit your need.

https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2015/06/05/binding-while-broke-i-tried-all-these-cheapish-chest-binders-so-you-dont-have-to/

https://transguys.com/features/chest-binding

With dealing with periods, here are some neat links that I found that can help, perhaps, with dealing with periods.

https://www.shethinx.com/pages/people-with-periods

https://www.shethinx.com/collections/period-panties/products/boyshort

https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/11/trans-guys-guide-menstruation/

https://www.seventeen.com/health/a20963434/trans-and-non-binary-periods/

You can opt to take birth control, whether it’s the pill or an IUD as they can help control and manage your periods. An IUD allows you to stop having periods up to three years and you can skip all your periods if you are on the bill, save for about four times a year (for some...kind of health reason; I wish I understood human biology!) If you have a doctor you can trust, you can discuss with them on how to use birth control effectively if you can not do hormone treatment at the moment. 

Kieran, dear friend! I hope these are some good starting points for you in regards to safely transitioning into a body that you feel comfortable in. 

Now, if you’re not in a safe space to wear a chest binder (or even a sports bra, as those can also alleviate some discomfort, I think, perhaps) or find ways to control your period, I would 1) find a support group for ftm that you can find comfort with 2) make sure you have resources at your college. don’t be afraid to ask for a therapist who can help you cope during this difficult time. 3) Research, research research!!! It pays to research. This is your body and it’s important to have all the information you need so when you’re able to transition, you can do it in a safe and healthy manner and have a safe place to do so, as well. 

You can also treat this time of not being able to transition as a way to hone your acting skills. I’m not an actor so I’m not very familiar with all of it, but perhaps you can pretend to be a spy. That you’re on an undercover mission of being a Human Lady and you gotta play the part. (Method acting? I’m unsure of the terminology...) That you have to be undercover to find out what’s on the Cis and Straight Agenda and you’re getting information to fight back. 

Kieran, you are very much loved. You are a very wonderful person and you have resilience despite what you feel. No matter WHAT happens, you are, as our human friends say, “a kick-ass dude, a funky superb human being.” 

I hope this letter finds you well. 

All my love,

Frodo

PS. Kieran, I got a little OOC at the end, but I’m sure Frodo and all the hobbits would find delight in our meme phrases. “Rise and Shine my...my hobbit-dudes! It’s time to make some dough! and then eat it! And then have second breakfast!”

PPS. Don’t forget to eat second breakfast. Frodo says it’s the second most important meal of the day. :) 

mind the tags

had to fast for 12 hours for a blood test yesterday and HHhH man i didn't realize how badly it'd trigger me

guess I'm still coming yo terms with the fact that i probably developed an eating disorder in late 2017/early 2018 ...

anxiety had fucked up my appetite the couple months i spent back home so badly i didn't need to eat much by the time I went back to college and i had dropped a lot of weight.

i just justified going on like that because my parents were getting extremely controlling of my spending on literally anything while living in Cordoba even if i never went out or bought clothes or ... anything aside from basic necessities.

but also i acknowledge my mom did comment over call a couple times when she realized I hadn't bought groceries in weeks

mostly i was too depressed most days to care and i let myself slip further into that cause for fucking once i liked how i looked and i had nothing else going for me back then. old clothes fit again. i didn't even need my binder cause any sports bra could do the job.

even the time my friends came over and i passed out on the elevator back to my apartment cause i had forgotten to eat anything that day. tried to brush off that one.

and of course when i got stuck back in my hometown during the pandemic, my mom kept saying i was too thin and emaciated but also i looked good and "more like myself" lmao

surprisingly i maintained a similar weight throughout the lockdowns, considering i had started eating actual meals prepared by my parents twice a day.

but now I've been gaining weight and i want to believe it's muscle cause I've been going to the gym for a year and a half and it's great, I've build up a lot of strength. but it's still triggering. i need to constantly flex my arms and thighs to remind myself it's muscle. the reason some tight clothes aren't fitting as well anymore.

and i still feel hot! i look good! and i feel good. gym really helped in that regard. it replaced that need. i was incredibly lucky to find a chill personalized gym where i could learn at my own pace how bodies work and that movement can be fulfilling beyond aesthetic results... but once i move I'll have to find another one and try to keep that philosophy in mind....

it's scary knowing a part of me is so ready to jump back into those habits again y'know.

I've been getting paranoid about my boobs looking bigger that before and the dysphoria is killing me.

and knowing soon I'll move out and have my own space again makes it all the more scary. even if I'll be with my boyfriend and he enjoys cooking and i love helping him and eating cause he's great at it. but i don't want him to feel like he has to keep me in check.

idk where I'm going with this. it's something that i kinda packed tightly into a mind box and didn't want to think about for the past... 4 years? cause i never really "got better", i just adapted to the circumstances, and in the back of my mind i feel like I'll go right back as soon as I'm given the chance. same thing with self harming. eugh.

i know, recovery isn't linear and I'm at better place than i was back then.... but still.

well sleeping meds are kicking in so I'll just leave tomorrow's pas to deal with the rest of this

i've kinda been questioning my gender lately. i know i am a girl, but can relate to SO many things i've heard trans guys say on how they knew, like how when i was a kid i hated doing anything girly, & only wore shorts. i never wore make up, & now recall as a kid exactly thinking i should have been born as a boy. i hadn't thought about it for a while, & kinda forgot. but i always knew i was different. now i'm scared because it's starting to feel uncomfortable/weird of people calling me she. help

Alright, let’s take a few steps back, alrighty? Deep breaths, drink some water, clear your mind. I rambled on a bit in this and I apologize a bunch for that, so prepare for a read. I split it into two parts - validation and advice.

Validation

It’s 101% okay and natural to be questioning, and it can be scary as well, but it’s okay. As a trans guy myself, I can relate. And I hope I can help out.

Let’s begin to break things down. Presentation is very different from gender, but it sounds to me that presentation isn’t the problem here at all - but social dysphoria stemming from enforced gender roles. Ergo, stuff like make up isn’t necessarily a girl thing, but because society associates it with being a girl, it makes (or made you) dysphoric. Does that sound about right? Or am I misunderstanding? Likewise with being called she now. And feeling as if you should’ve been born a boy could go either physically or socially.

All those things sound like you could be a trans guy - or at the very least, transmasc. And those kind of things can get suppressed for a while, and dysphoria can wane and whatnot in intensity, so that’s no means of being invalid. All of what you’re describing to me sounds very familiar (though my dysphoria tends to be stronger physically than socially - it only really began to bother me being called she/her once I had been outted). 

Relating to trans people but feeling as if you can’t be one for whatever reason is surprisingly common I find. I know a lot of people - myself included - who related to trans folk but felt for some reason or another they couldn’t be trans, whether that be from internalized misogyny/misandry, internalized transphobia, incredibly binary definitions of what it means to be trans, and so on. I remember a transwoman once said, “When I realized that wishing I were a trans girl was a symptom of actually being a trans girl, it all clicked for me.”

Advice

Now that we have all that out of the way, how to go about help.I don’t know how old you are, what your family situation is, or your country situation, so I don’t want to give advice that could potentially land you in trouble. However, here’s a few little things that can help without endangering yourself. If I have more information about your family situation and such, I can give more alleviating advice - this is all simply what you can do if coming out is out of the question.- Write a self insert or draw yourself as a boy, referred to as he/him pronouns or even they/them. See how it feels. No one needs to know it’s supposed to be you but yourself. This is something I did and it helped me tons.- Talk with trans folk about their own experiences. Join a forum or a discord group made for trans folk. If you’re scared of a parent or the like seeing you on there, you can simply call yourself a cis girl interested in trans stuff - so even if your parents find out and get mad due to their transphobia, you won’t be outted.- Little things like wearing a sports bra and boxer briefs tends are more ‘tomboy’ish and not really coded as girly, which may help with social dysphoria, as well as baggier clothes like sweatpants and hoodies can let you get away with appearing less ‘girly’ without having to shop in the men’s section or raise questions. Additionally, sports bras, while not as good as binders, can minimize how large your chest appears, and I know a few people with smaller busts that look nearly flat with them.- Cut your hair in a unisex style. If you want, you can even ask for a more ‘square’ shape. Say it’s for a play and you gotta look more like a guy, but still look ‘good’. If your parents give you crap for it and say it makes you look ugly or like a guy, you can laugh it off as a ‘bad hair cut’ without needing to out yourself.- This one sounds dumb, but in your mind, whenever someone calls you a ‘she’, you can mentally correct them, and tell yourself you don’t want to offend them by correcting. Along with that, you can tell people to stop calling you things like miss, lady, et cetera. The latter was something I did before I even knew trans people existed - I told them I just didn’t like being called those things because it reminded me of sexist people, especially back in my homeland (Kurdistan, Iraqi region). I found that it helped to just not be called those things instead of being ridiculed and asking if I could be called sir and whatnot instead.I wish I could do more to help out, but I hope it helps for whatever bit it’s worth. Please don’t feel afraid to ask for more help - and if you want to talk through IMs, ask for Haval and I’ll give you my personal and we can talk through there, alrighty? You take care now,-Mod Haval