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surreality51 · 2 years

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High Empathy in Real Life

I loved watching NBC’s Hannibal, cuz Murder Husbands yes plz, but also because my own husband has high empathy, and it’s interesting to compare his characteristics to Will Graham’s. Now, I don’t know anything about mirror neurons and all that stuff, and I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t actually take on the persona of others a la the illustrious Mr. Graham, but they both have an uncanny ability to understand the thoughts and motivations of others.

I’ve known my husband since he was 18 (he’s 40 now). He’s never been formally diagnosed as high empathy, but to me it’s pretty obvious because he knows things that he really shouldn’t know about other people.

Here are some of the things I’ve seen him do or noticed about him related to his high empathy:

It is nearly impossible to lie to him, even if he doesn’t know someone well. He can not only tell when someone is putting up a front or not being truthful or withholding something from him, he usually can guess the reason why.

He reads people very quickly and picks up things they don’t even tell him. The first time he met my sister’s fiance, he gave me a thorough rundown afterward: fiance genuinely loves my sister but also is no fool, knows that my sister is a golden ticket for him (turns out he’s got a lot of debt; she makes six figures). He’ll keep the peace for as long as he can for that reason. A country boy, he’s liable to be more lax with personal grooming and general cleanliness. (They met in Portland, he has no particular accent, but turns out he is originally from rural Montana.) Verdict: the honeymoon period will last several years, but the money issues will start brewing resentment around year 7-10. Despite that, they will stay together, the same way my parents stayed together despite Dad’s money troubles, because my sister will be too proud to admit that she became our mom 2.0. He got all these reads after hanging out with the fiance for an hour. Sure enough, two months later, my sister decides to buy a house with the fiance and front the entire down payment herself (because he doesn’t have any money), but put both of their names on the deed. It doesn’t take an empath to know that that’s probably not the best financial decision, but Sister refused to listen to me or Mom (yep, there’s the pride, Husband confirms, and also some sibling rivalry). She also refused to get a prenup. So I guess we’ll see in time if this sows the seeds for Husband’s larger prediction.

He is highly intuitive. Sometimes I think he might be psychic, but no, he’s just highly sensitive to the people and energy around him. I was once watching him play a volleyball game at the gym. He went to get water from the water fountain in the back. This meant he had his back to the game. He told me later that he had a sudden feeling that he should move. He steps to the side, and a second later there’s a shout and an errant ball smacks into the water fountain exactly where his head was if he hadn’t moved.

People have an urge to confide in him. When he worked retail, people would ask him to help them find something in the store and then end up telling him their troubles--someone’s worried about their mother, another person just caught their child with marijuana, and so on. He doesn’t intentionally encourage this and in fact is rather uncomfortable with it, but nonetheless people keep doing it all. the. time. He’d lament to me that all he wants to do is just help them find a CD, and they end up pouring their life story out to him. (My take: his high empathy makes him, well, empathetic, and people can sense that.)

It is really hard to surprise him with presents. About 80% of the time, he can guess what I bought him. One time the *only* thing I said to him was, “I got you a little something,” and he said, “Is it a Tottenham Hotspur keychain?” Yes, yes it was. I asked him what gave it away, and he said it was the word “little.” Yes, a keychain is small, but how do you immediately jump from “little” to “keychain”?

He understands people’s deep motivations and even the lies they tell themselves. His old mentor/boss was always proud of being a rather big name in his field. One of the reasons why Old Boss took Husband under his wing was because he saw a lot of his younger self in Husband. But where Husband and Old Boss differ is that Husband isn’t willing to sacrifice his family to put in the ridiculous hours it would take to climb the ladder and become like Old Boss, whereas Old Boss did. Old Boss never talks about his ex-wife and kids, but Husband knows that one of the reasons why Old Boss clings to his status is because he regrets what he sacrificed to get there. That’s also why Old Boss secretly resents Husband, even though he’d rather die than admit it. Old Boss will deny his regret to his dying day (”I did what I had to do, and look at me now, top of my field!”), but Husband can read it clearly.

Because he understands people’s secret motivations and deepest shame and regrets, he can emotionally eviscerate someone if he wants to. Imagine if the person who knew you best turned all of their intimate understanding against you. The things he’s told me that he reads off people are incredibly deep and intimate, things people might not even admit to themselves, much less other people. If he ever decided to make them confront those parts of themselves.... I’ve told him many times, “It’s a good thing you’re a nice person, because you could really destroy someone if you wanted to.” He agrees.

He is sensitive to the energy of the people around him.

He can tell when I’m anxious or tense or somehow off before I do. Oftentimes he’ll ask what’s wrong, and I’ll look at him puzzled and say “nothing” because I’m genuinely not thinking about or feeling anything in particular. And then 5 or 10 minutes later, whatever that was causing me to be tense/anxious finally reaches a level I can perceive and I realize, “Oh, I’m actually hungry/tired/worried/PMS-ing.” He’s like an emotional canary.

Corollary: because he’s so highly sensitive, it does make being his wife difficult sometimes, in the sense that I try my best to maintain balanced emotions. He can literally feel my anxiety coming off me and latching onto him sometimes, and so to be considerate I practice calming techniques like deep breathing to manage my anxiety. (Though I’ve never sought a formal diagnosis for myself, my mom was diagnosed with depression and my sister with anxiety, so it runs in the family.)

Places with negative energy are especially intense and unpleasant for him. A crowded hospital waiting room is suffocating, but an empty or sparsely populated waiting room is fine. It’s not the place itself, it’s the miasma of illness, misery, fear, etc. from people that make it hard for him to breathe. He literally holds his breath as he walks through those types of places as quickly as he can.

Within a minute or two of coming into a room, he can usually get a surface-level read of the people in it. When he started a new job, a coworker took him to the conference room and introduced him to the team. Everyone acted professional and exchanged the typical pleasantries, but Husband instantly knew who saw him as competition, who was jealous of his role, who was bitter about something, who was genuinely pleased to meet him, and so on.

Because he can read people easily, he’s really good at putting people at ease. If he can sense that someone wants to be left alone, he’ll excuse himself and leave them alone. If someone is irritated, he can redirect them or get them what they need or say something to defuse the tension. If I could really use a hug, I often don’t need to ask for one, he usually just comes over and hugs me.

Corollary: because he’s constantly reading emotions and performing emotional labor, he can get pretty drained. So sometimes--usually once or twice a day--he needs to step outside or zone out or otherwise withdraw, because it’s hard for him to turn it off. He can, but it’s like trying not to listen to other people’s conversations. Sometimes it’s easier to just move to a quieter spot.

I don’t know if he could do the Will Graham thing and read a crime scene. I would guess no, because he reads people, not objects. Dead bodies don’t have “energy” or emotions. It’s easiest when he’s actually in the room with the person. For particularly strong emotions, he doesn’t even need to talk to them, he can feel the energy from several feet away, but for deeper reads he usually needs to talk to them a bit. The really deep stuff comes comes with multiple conversations.

So yeah, he likely knows the deepest, darkest secrets of me, my family, his family, our friends, our neighbors, and all his coworkers. Luckily for us he’s a nice guy, so he won’t tell.

#nbc hannibal #will graham #hannibal #empathy #empath

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elia-de-silentio · 3 years

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Recap on the Book (+ a theory on Atsushi)

The Book is an element that received little attention compared to the character drama in Bungo Stray Dogs, but it's actually the element instigating it, as the thing almost everyone desires. This time, I want to make a recap on it, and take a look on an interesting theory regarding the connection between it and Atsushi.

The first one to mention it is Fitzgerald. He describes it as pretty much Aladdin's lamp from the original fairy tale: something to make all wishes come true, in his case the resurrection of his daughter. Appearently, Atsushi is the 'guidepost' to the Book, and that's why there was such an hefty bounty on him at the start of the series. Whatever that means, we are all still waiting to know.

It also mentions that it is 'impervious to fire and all abilities'.

But Fitzgerald was in cahoots with two other amiable fellows who were after the same thing: Fyodor Dostoevsky and Agatha Christie. While the latter has not appeared since except for Dead Apple, the former has given us new infos on the prized Book.

He too wants to use the Book, but in his case, the goal is a little more lofty: he wants to recreate the world, one without the 'sin' of ability users. So, the Book's powers aren't limited to just bring back the dead, they really have a reality-altering scale.

(translation by @akai-koutei)

At the start of the Decay of Angels arc, Chief Taneda gives Ranpo a few more informations about our object of interest.

It is in the hands of the government, and it has been studied, via a single page extracted from it, that holds the same power as the whole Book (like a Death Note).

Moreover, we find the first limitation to the power: 'the written content must conform to the rules of karma'. In other words - and we're going deliciously meta here - it must have narrative consistency, unlike the 'real world' in which accidents of any kind and without any meaning happen all the time. Of course it does! If a book had inconsistent plot development and characterization, wouldn't we all be complaining about bad writing?

Lastly, it's suggested that it was created by an ability user, which set its rules to prevent excessive and senseless destruction.

This rule begs the question - do Fitzgerald or Fyodor know about it? 'A girl suddenly springs back to life' doesn't have much narrative consistence, and neither 'all Ability users suddenly vanish'. A way to work around this limit would be rewrite history itself: Fitzgerald's daughter never died/Abilities never existed in the first place. It would erase the timeline in which these events would be impossible, and create another in which they have consistency.

This would also be the reason for the initial plan of the Decay of Angels, using the page to depict the ADA as terrorists ... but before that, they had to 'create' their crimes by killing relevant people that had spoken against the Agency, giving them plausible actions and motives.

It also fits with the Sky Casino: a building that was woven back in time with a complete backstory, instead of just popping out from nothingness. Still, this also show us that there's no need for the details to be absolutely accurate: Dazai managed to figure out that the building had been written from the Book because the 'top secret' details of its creation didn't exist in the first place. Still, these details are ones that do not 'disturb' the flow of a story: it's a freaking flying casino, who is going to think about the funds? Just enjoy the story!

But then we find an outstanding exception: Sigma. A whole human being brought into existence by the Book, without any past that he can remember. He appeared three years ago, in a desert, with only the clothes on his back and a train ticket. No backstory from him.

How was this possible? It's not very narratively coherent, a person popping into existence.

Well, we must consider that we know only what Fyodor says about it. He might be withholding information from Dazai and the audience, or even lying to confuse his opponent; or maybe he doesn't know the answer himself. He recruited Sigma, likely after hearing about his Ability, but did not create him personally.

Maybe Sigma's 'parent' actually did have a backstory and purpose planned for his 'character', but for some reason, they weren't received. Or maybe they knew some trick to circumvent the limitations of the Book. Maybe the government was experimenting with it, and for some reason someone was like 'hey, let's see if we can make a person pop out in the desert, without anyone being around to check if it happens or take care of the eventual human being!'.

Yeah ... this part is rather confusing. I look forward to an explaination on Sigma's origins.

The last time that the rules of the Book are mentioned, is to show us a way to circumvent them. Fyodor had written that 'no police officer will believe the Agency's innocence' ... but he didn't factor Tachihara in. As a member of the Hunting Dogs, he is a police officer; but during his infiltration of the Mafia, he acquired this second identity. He is an officer, and at the same time, he is not. As soon as he inquires other mafiosi on the matter, he becomes clear to him the ADA's guiltlessness, in which he couldn't believe when talking with the othe Hunting Dogs.

And Ranpo in later chapters used a similar strategy, bringing his proofs to a group of journalists to make the masses think; and in turn, this divided the police between those who still obeyed the rule and those who adopted a new perspective.

The human ability to put ourselves in other points of view is the uncontrollable variable that can break the Book's powers.

(By the way, I wonder if that was actually Fyodor's plan. He seems too smart and well-informed to not take this possibility into consideration. Considering that the clashes among the police resulted in riots and chaos; and he commented earlier, talking to himself, that he didn't create the 'perfect' plan his colleagues required because that would be boring ... maybe this is his own plan to undermine Fukuchi's power and get him out of his way, to be the one who will actually puts his hands on the Book?)

After that, an interesting comment was made: the Decay of Angels planned to use the Book 'the next full moon'. It's uncertain if it's because it can only be used in this time frame, or if it can be just be found (in both cases, the Book has another rule that limits its use)

The last time any piece of the Book made an appearence, it was with Fukuchi dangling the famous page, and the possibility of rewriting it, in front of Atsushi and Akutagawa; but that was also the first sound defeat for the Shin Soukoku. Fukuchi still has the page, and now our hopes reside in Tachihara, currently about to face him.

Then, there is supplementary material: the BEAST AU. I haven't read the light novel or manga, so any information I can provide is from the wiki and @looking-for-stray-dogs 's summary.

In this AU, Dazai has managed to obtain the Book, but thanks to his Ability, he retains his memories even in different universes. But didn't Fitzgerald say that the Book is immune to all Abilities? Or only those which try to destroy it?

Still, Dazai used the Book to create his own pet universe - kind of like Fyodor wants to do, but with a much more personal goal: creating a universe in which Odasaku lives. This appearently can happen only if he never becomes Dazai's friend.

However, the definition of 'make what is written in it into reality' is not exact: it is more like a 'container' for every possible universe in existence, and what is written in the pages will not 'rewrite reality', but 'call forth the universe in which it happens'.

Think of it like Michelangelo's ideas about sculpting: the statue is already in the block of stone, the artist merely brings it out.

Beast!Dazai then mentions another clause: if three or more people know the truth about a world created by the Book, the stability of said world gets compromised, and it gets higher possibilities of ceasing to exist. Which is pretty much what is happening in the canon manga.

And this is all we know insofar. Is it enough to make theories? Of course! Anything is enough to make theories!

One I've seen circulating, and that I really like, is 'Atsushi is a creation of the Book'.

Supporting it:

• Atsushi is considered so valuable because he is a 'guidepost' to the Book; it would actually make sense that someone created by the Book mantained some connection to it.

Contradicting it:

• There already is someone who was for sure created by the Book: Sigma. And he is already in the Decay of Angels: if all sentient beings created by the Book mantained a connection to it, wouldn't that mean that they don't need Atsushi? Instead, not only they are still looking for tiger boy, but Sigma needed to threaten and use his Ability on Taneda to find out just where one page was.

Solution: maybe Atsushi was specifically written to be a 'tracker' for the Book, while Sigma wasn't?

Supporting it:

• Atsushi doesn't have any certified past, someone threw him on the streets without giving him anything that could lead back to a birth family. And appearently, nobody noticed someone had a suddenly missing child, or tried to investigate on the abandonment of a toddler.

Contradicting it:

• Who the hell creates a supernatural being that can lead to an even more supernatural book and then throws him in the trash?!

Solution: who the hell creates a supernatural being who can exchange informations and throws him in the desert?! Whatever the keeper of the Book is on, it can't be legal, or even well-cut for the matter.

More seriously, we are told that Atsushi's parents abandoned him, but it was the Headmaster that said it, and he's not the most reliable guy around. Atsushi not only does not have any proof for that, but he also has a faulty memory due to trauma: if he forgot Shibusawa, what else could he have forgotten?

Supporting it:

• The Book can appearently be used - or maybe retrieved, the phrasing is a bit ambiguous on that - under the full moon. Atsushi's Ability is called 'Beast Beneath the Moonlight', and he himself is called a 'weretiger', derivated from 'werewolf', a creature that has a traditional connection to the full moon.

Contradicting it:

• It might be a coincidence?

Supporting it:

• Shibusawa took a very specific interest in him, even going to the point of torturing him to make the 'Beast under the Moonlight' manifest

Contradicting it:

• Shibusawa was obsessed in finding the 'ultimate ability'. The fact that appearently Atsushi has it does not mean that it is related to the Book, or even that it is an objective statement.

Supporting it:

• Fyodor took a very specific interest in him. He was the one who directed Shibusawa to him, as far as six years ago, when Atsushi likely hadn't manifested his Ability. So, how did this rat, who is very interested in the Book and probably spent a lot of time finding ways to get it, know about him?

Contradicting it:

• Dazai appearently knows nothing about it. Considering how smart and careful he is, it would be expected that he did his research on why everyone was so fixated on the Agency's newest recruit. Instead, he looked genuinely shocked when he's told about Sigma's birth. So, whatever Atsushi's connection to the Book is, it's not of that kind. Moreover, Fyodor hasn't had a single interaction with Atsushi insofar. Wouldn't be more logical trying to somehow secure his willing cooperation if he needs it? From his side, Atsushi doesn't seem to know how he looks like (when he thinks about him, the face is always obscured), nor he acts like he vaguely recognize the name before - something that instead happened with Shibusawa

Possible solution: maybe Dazai isn't God the All-Knowing for once in this manga?! Or maybe he was lying to keep a margin of advantage. And Fyodor rarely acts in a very direct way, usually putting other people and convoluted plans between himself and anyone who could be involved. Sending Shibusawa to Atsushi might have been such a case.

Contradicting it:

• Fukuchi has no problem attacking Atsushi. The whole Decay of Angels's plan put the life of Tiger Boy in danger multiple times. An odd thing to do, if they goal is something that can be reached only through him.

Possible solution: they know he has regenerative abilities on a nearly Koro-sensei level? I admit, I'm not very sure on this point.

All in all, I think it's a very plausible theory. And do we want to talk about the drama character development it would bring about? Atsushi already questions his right to live, how would knowing that he had been created for some purpose decided by someone else impact his worldview?

In conclusion, I think that the Book is a very interesting, mysterious element, and I really look forward to see if it will be used, by whom, and why Atsushi seems so connected to it.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd the book #bsd atsushi #bsd sigma #bsd tachihara #bsd fyodor #bsd fitzgerald #bsd shibusawa #bsd meta #bsd theories #bsd spoilers #elia's recaps

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ayamari-no-goshi · 3 years

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Verboten 11 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary: AU. When Danny was five years old, he went missing for 2 weeks. In the years that follow, his family tried to make sense of what happened, only for the truth to be discovered years later.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, language. Be prepared for some very weird things

Chapter warning: child kidnappings mentioned

Parings: Danny/Sam

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr. This fic is very heavily inspired by folklore surrounding mysterious wilderness disappearances

Chapter 11

The return home was nothing but a blur. Sam’s mind couldn’t make much sense of anything until she focused on flashing lights in the darkness. Panic gripped her as the possibility those skeleton creatures followed them, but voices soon filtered through the dark trees. She called out to them in a raspy voice. At first, she thought her voice was too faint to reach them, but someone heard her.

One of the rangers came into focus as he approached her. After flashing his light over the area, he tried asking her something. His question didn’t make much sense to her, so she attempted to tell him she was okay, but the others might be hurt. Her vision swam as the ranger contacted someone on his walkie-talkie. The last thing she heard before blackness took her was the ranger trying to keep her conscious.

…

She woke up to find herself staring at a pale gray ceiling. Confused, she turned her head to get a better idea of where she was. The white walls, a single chair where Tucker was sleeping, and an IV which was attached to her clued her in that she was in a hospital. Why was she in a hospital? After glancing at Tucker again, she determined the better question was why was Tucker in the hospital? He hated them.

He roused himself after a few moments. “Hey, you’re awake!” After allowing himself a moment to stretch, he moved to her side. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Her throat felt like sandpaper. “How’d I get here? Where is everyone else? Where’s Danny?”

“I was told the Rangers called in ambulances after we were found. We and the A-listers were taken here. We were actually the least injured – just some scrapes and bruises. The doctors said you also had a bad bump on the head. Some of the A-listers are in critical condition, but they should make it.” He glanced around before leaning closer so he could whisper, “When I was released earlier, my parents told me Danny had been found and taken here, but they’re not allowing visitors. He’s being questioned by the police because he was found in a different location hours after us and relatively unharmed. Mom said the doctors seem worried about his vitals.”

“But he didn’t do anything!” She tried to sit up only to have Tucker gently stop her.

“Hey, the only way your parents let me in here was if I promised to make sure you didn’t get up if they weren’t in the room. I’m not pushing my luck after everything else that happened.” Once he was certain she was done trying to move, he went back to the chair and wrung his hands. “Trust me. I know he didn’t have anything to do with what happened, but it looks weird to the cops that he wasn’t found with us.”

Sam wanted to argue with him just so she could vent. Danny didn’t deserve that suspicion. He was probably most affected by what happened. Remembering him in that ghostly form, she hoped he would be okay being in the world of the living. He was back there with them, so she guessed he would be okay.

She tried to question Tucker for more information, but her parents interrupted them. After a boisterous show of relief from her mother, her dad had enough tact to politely ask Tucker to give them time with their daughter. She glared at Tucker’s betrayal as he gave a half-hearted salute before he exited leaving her to try to block out her mother’s piercing voice.

….

After a barrage of tests the next morning, the doctors were confident she could be released. However, her parents wanted them to keep her for another night as a precaution. Since the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, the police came in to take a statement from her. She told them what she felt she could – that someone who called himself Youngblood killed Lester and took Mikey, and after she and her friends got separated from the others, were hunted down by someone called Plasmius. While the police seemed skeptical, they did admit her story matched up with her friends and what they could get out of Dash and Lucas.

Her annoyance at the police lessened when Tucker brought her news they were allowed to go see Danny. Her nurse was fine with it as long as she returned to her room after a couple hours.

Danny’s room was on a different floor so it took them a few minutes to get there. After knocking and entering, they found Danny sitting up on his bed and chatting with his sister. After greeting them, Jazz excused herself after giving him a searching look.

“What was that about?” Tucker questioned as he glanced back towards where Jazz disappeared.

“You know her and her psychobabble. She’s convinced I’m traumatized need to talk to someone.” Danny’s tone seemed light, but there was a notable frown on his face. “I can tell she knows I’m withholding information.”

“I think the police also think that. The cop I talked to earlier seemed upset I didn’t give him more information,” Sam admitted before she moved forward to give him a quick hug. “How are you doing considering…?” She gestured vaguely to his body. “You still owe me a date, you know.”

A chuckle escaped him. “I know I do, but they need to let me out of here first. Then we can play it by ear.” He brought his hand to his chest. “Some of my vitals are wonky because of… what happened, so the doctors want to observe me for a while still.” His eyes grew distant as he continued, “Overall, I think I’m okay, but this place makes me so uncomfortable. There is so much emotion, and… I think they’re remnants of people who died. They might be ghosts, but they seem so wispy compared to what we saw. Clockwork told me that place corrupted ghosts over time, so maybe that’s what it is. The ghosts here aren’t corrupted.”

“Dude, I feel you about hospitals being creepy. The only reason I’m here is to visit you two,” Tucker admitted as he removed his hat and wrung it. “But what do you mean by emotion?”

There was a green tinge to Danny’s eyes as he glanced at them. “I can feel… maybe taste… the fear and grief in this place. I don’t like it.”

After sharing a concerned look with Tucker, Sam gently patted Danny’s shoulder. “There are old stories that say ghosts seem to respond to strong emotions. Maybe that’s what it is.”

“Maybe.” His reply was half-hearted.

“So, how exactly did you get back? And how did the visit with Clockwork go?” Tucker questioned as he sat on the only chair in the room, leaving Sam to rest on the end of his bed.

“Frostbite brought me back after we got the report that you were attacked, he led me to a different portal as the one you went through already closed.” His head tilted as he thought about it. “Clockwork was very unsettled by the events. He’s the ghost of time, by the way, and I don’t think I ever want his job.” After catching their confused stares, Danny launched into a hushed explanation of what Clockwork told him.

“You’re telling me the ghost of time missed seeing that weird thing?” It was Tucker who finally broke the stunned silence after Danny finished. “He’s not very good at his job, is he?”

Danny shook his head. “I don’t think it’s Clockwork’s fault. From what I caught, it seems what or whoever is employing those things, they are able to move in his blind spots.”

“You said something about how those things are looking to steal kids. Do you think we have to worry about them?” Although Sam wasn’t too worried about herself, she did have small cousins that while they were brats, she had no desire to see them harmed.

“I’m not sure. I wasn’t given too much information about them, and I don’t exactly have a way to try to find a way to find out either.”

“Hmm… When my parents finally allow me out of here, I’ll go through my collection of folklore and mythology. I know it’s a long shot, but maybe there’s a mention of something like what you described.”

“Oooh! That’s a good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?” Tucker smacked himself on the head as he brought out his PDA. After a few quick button pushes, he held it up. “I now have a program running to see if there are any recent reports of those things? It might take a bit of filtering to get around CreepyPastas, but I think it’ll work.”

Danny gave them a trembling smile. “Thanks guys.”

Their conversation soon drifted to more mundane things like school and imagining Sam’s parents going on a rampage against the school district. Their conversation came to an end after Danny’s parents entered the room, a little more excited than normal. They clearly wanted to discuss something in private, so Sam and Tucker excused themselves. Tucker then walked Sam back to her room, where her nurse was waiting for them.

xxxxxx

The next day, Danny was release from the hospital under strict orders he needed to be carefully monitored. His temperature and blood pressure were still on the low side, but he seemed to be healthy. Uncertain whether or not that was his new baseline, they figured his parents would return him to the hospital if he took a turn for the worst. So, he would be allowed to stay home from school for about a week.

If he was honest, he didn’t think he parents would be too motivated to keep an eye on him as they had a new toy to keep their attention. While he, his friends, and classmates were lost in the world of the dead, his parents managed to punch open a hole into that very place with an invention they had been working on for decades. Most of their waking moments were spent hovering around it and taking measurements.

He didn’t understand why they would make such a thing. Its energy infected everything in the house. He doubted his parents or sister were able to feel it unless they stood in front of it, but that energy thrummed in his very core. It wasn’t exactly a comforting feeling, but it seemed to calm the constant fighting between his human and ghostly forms. He supposed he should be at least thankful for that as it helped prevent slip ups around his family.

That had been the most nerve wracking aspect of his changes. His energy often surged without warning which triggered some sort of ghostly ability that both Frostbite and Clockwork neglected to mention to him. His body parts liked to inappropriately pass through solid objects or disappear for a few minutes at a time. It often went away after a few frantic moments of trying to fix the problem. He had yet to tell his friends about it.

For the most part, he kept to himself and in his room while he was under this surveillance period. However, he still had bodily needs. So, he would venture to the kitchen for snacks.

A couple hours after dinner, he went downstairs for one such snack. He found his sister in the living room watching breaking news regarding a disappearance of a teen. As he listened to the reporter, a strange chill ran through him. That chill worsened after they showed a photo of the girl – she was an underclassman at his school.

“How long have you been standing there?” Jazz demanded after she realized he was there. Had he really been that quiet?

“Long enough. What exactly happened to her?” He moved to sit down on the couch with her.

“After what just happened to you, I don’t think you should listen.”

He rolled his eyes. “Jazz, I’m fine. Besides, I already heard enough to know she went missing around the same time me and my classmates did.”

Jazz narrowed her eyes as she seemingly examined him for some unknown sign. When she didn’t find it, she sighed and caught him up. “She and her family went on a normal hike on a short trail outside the city. When she didn’t come back at the designated time, a search party went looking for her. She was found unharmed near a bend the creek that follows that trail.” She paused as she scratched her head. “It doesn’t seem too unusual, but something her parents said in an interview is bugging me. They said she seemed like an entirely different person after she was found. I’m trying to get more information to see if I have any information that might be able to help them.”

“You probably shouldn’t stick your nose in it.”

The expression she shot him went from offended to sheepish as she backtracked. “Well… I wasn’t going to directly get involved. I was just going to send a message to their doctors if I could find a psychological change that could help with their prognoses. I wonder if they’d let me do a case study on her for my class.” Jazz had received special permission to return home for a couple weeks to make sure Danny was fine. However, true to form, she had promised to work on any potential projects due the time period.

“Jazz… I’m serious. You shouldn’t get involved.” When Jazz looked like she was going to argue with him, he gave her the most intense glare he could muster. “You have no idea what might have happened to her. Getting involved when you shouldn’t, might make it worse, or you might get yourself involved in something you’ll end up regretting.”

She floundered as she tried to find her words. If he didn’t know any better, she almost seemed afraid. “I don’t understand you,” she eventually told him. “You’ve never taken such an interest in any of my previous projects.”

Danny just rubbed his temples. Jazz didn’t tend to back down from anything unless she had a sound argument. “Jazz, I’m telling you, there’s something wrong here. Don’t approach her.”

“Are you implying that her temporary disappearance has something to do with what happened to you and your classmates?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but call it a gut feeling.”

She gently patted his shoulder. “I know what this is about.”

“You do?”

She gave him a pitying look. “Because your situations are so similar, you’re projecting your fears and experience on to her.”

“What? That’s not it at all!”

“You just keep telling yourself that, little brother.” With that phrase, she effectively dismissed anything else he had to say.

Still unsettled, Danny excused himself and went back to his room to see if he could find any more information as to what happened to the underclassman and to alert Sam and Tucker to the information. While he was able to get little more than the information he heard on the news report, the feeling something else was wrong wouldn’t leave him.

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

Telekinesis

Summary: a reddie x daughter where she has powers? maybe that when IT died his powers went to her in the form of like maybe telekinesis or sum and she tells them when all the losers are together and they don’t believe her at first so she shows them? kinda lame but i thought it’d be cool

Another book, another disappointment, another opportunity wasted. Mike’s library was empty, both from it being after-hours as it being located in Derry, and the only light Rachel has is the obstructed street lights, eluding to an eerie feeling of impending doom and death, a real life horror movie.

The lights inside the building had to be turned off, because Rachel’s parents, Eddie and Richie, were not allowed to have any clue that she’s in here in the first place. Unlike last time she snuck into the place and got nabbed on by the woman taking over Mike’s job while he’s away on holidays, she was now determined to emerge herself in every book hidden in the smallest gap until she found a solution to her problem.

See, coming to Derry, roughly two years ago now, had unveiled a lot of things about her dads. Those nights as a child fearfully disclosing that a monster housed under her bed, a little child’s imagination, but her dads reacted so fierce without them assimilating why suddenly made a lot more sense. Their monster, a clown hellbent on destroying their lives and everything they had built, using incomprehensible powers and abilities to do so, defeated on its own turve, wasted away on the perspective that no one wasn’t afraid of it any longer, withered away with one last trick up its sleeve. A last gift to the youngest member of the losers club.

Her hands curl around the pages with upmost precision, attentive not to rip the age-old pages from the rug. The typing circulates, switching letters in front of her until the words all lose their meaning and Rachel rests her eyes for a brief second. She’s been at it for hours, exchanging book after book, futile. The pages provided no more research then the internet had, the only search result being that of movies with ‘mutant powers’, or stories about the mentally deranged.

Rachel yells out in frustration, and the current book she’s devouring soars across the room, the book disintegrating and several pages scattering around.

‘Ow come on. But when I actually try to make something happen you don’t do anything.’

Discovering you have supernatural abilities, more specifically telekinesis in her case, is not as cracked up as the movies portray it, Rachel’s disclosing herself. After leaving Derry she didn’t even notice something off about her, hyped up on adrenaline, the real shock only showed when she dropped a photo frame and extended her hand, stopping it midair without touching the picture in any way.

She’d conjured the experience to a trick of the light, and paranoia embedded after Pennywise, but then the same thing occurred again but a few days later, a painting skidding from its nail in the wall and cracking the floor. The experience was bizarre, as Rachel vibrated with indignation the moment it happened, worked up on an assignment for school and as she reached for a pillow to muffle her screams of vexation, the painting bustled and sank down.

Then she knew for sure that something was going on. The first trip to Mike’s library, the only place Rachel could think off holding any of the answers she was desperate to find, forlorn as it might be, ended up unavailing, caught to fast to locate any books in the subject matter in the first place, but it made Rachel just more committed. So what if she’s technically not allowed to be in here? She’s sure that if she asked uncle Mike for his keys he would hand them over without a sliver of hesitation.

‘There has to be a book about this stuff right? How in the world did uncle Mike found the artifact from the 1800 if there was no book telling him where to go?’

Rachel sits up from her position on the floor, alleviating the strain on her legs, too unbothered and eager for information to keep going back and forth from the table to the shelf's and stretches, her joints popping and sliding back in place. She idly traces the spines of the ancient old books, pondering to herself about the titles.

She’d have to come back here someday, when she’s no longer pursued by the strange things she’s capable of doing out of the blue, because some of these books really peek her interest. But no book on the subject she’s looking for.

‘Okay please universe. You fucked me over enough already can you give me a break?’ If the universe is listening, it’s doing nothing but mocking her.

‘Rachel Maggie Kaspbrak-Tozier. What do you think you’re doing young lady? We told you to stay at the Inn while we cleaned up pops house. Now all the losers are are the hunt for you.’ Her dad’s low pitched voice criticized, belonging to a ticked off Eddie Kaspbrak, accompanied by Richie, of course Rachel can never only get in trouble with one parent, and Mike, the keys dangling from his hand.

Richie mounts the words; ‘Oeh someone’s in trouble’, face half pinched in stress and the other in pure and uninhabited mirth.

Fingers flipping her pops off, their own love languages, Eddie scowl turns up a notch, and Rachel abandons ship, changing her course and demonstrating her most conniving angel face.

Eddie and Richie near her, hugging her so tight her ribs creak, their labored breath only now picked up on by their daughter.

‘Don’t you ever’, Eddie threatens, dislodging himself away from their bear pile to survey Rachel with full conviction. ‘Do that to us again. Not anywhere, but especially not in Derry.’

Richie dots a kiss on her forehead, his arm capturing Eddie back into a clasp, the memory of Pennywise nearly swallowing his daughter whole tattooed in his brain.

‘What are you even doing in here? Don’t tell me my genes created someone who likes to learn? School stuff?’ Richie spits the words school like they leave a bad taste in his mouth, ‘Eddie, love of my life, did you have an affair on me?’

‘Richie focus, that’s so not the point. And no you idiot. I’d never do that to you.’

‘I’m hunting for a book’, Rachel informs, withholding part of truth as there’s no way she’s adding her problems on the pile of stress stacked upon Richie and Eddie’s lives.

Her pops trial only recently ended and her dad found a new job doing something he actually likes to do, and their lives are starting to clear up for once. Rachel was not about to add another card to the card house and watch it spring apart.

‘On what?’ Eddie asks suspiciously, one eyebrow creased as he observes his daughter, on the lookout for her telltale sign that’s she’s lying.

‘Witchcraft? It’s for school.’ Rachel trails off, her voice sounding questioningly to her own ears. Richie scrutinizes her, much more on guard and attentive then he gives himself credit for, but Mike, sickly sweet but a little tone deaf on the vibe in the room says; ‘Those books are upstairs in my special cabinet because they kept getting stolen, do you want me to go get them?’

Rachel’s flicks her eyes to the ceiling, grumbling under her breath with all the time that went to waste, then glancing back at Mike and kindly nodding her head. ‘That would be great, thank you uncle Mike.’

As he takes off to find the books, Richie and Eddie exchange puzzling peeks, doing their silent communication that drives Rachel crazy not being able to figure out what they’re saying.

‘Why would you need to write an assignment on witchcraft? Since when is that in the curriculum these days? Hey Eds we would have rocked that, we knew all about it.’ Richie inquires, excitingly jolting Eddie to go along with his story.

‘Since I got a new teacher who’s very interested in that stuff.’

‘Are you sure everything is okay? You’ve been acting weird for the past few weeks and I didn’t want to say anything or push you but I’m worried.’ Eddie asks, troubled trying to balance things in his life. He wants to keep prodding his daughter to know what’s wrong with her and to help her, but he’d rather die then turn out like his mother, and sometimes Eddie fears his lines are blurred.

‘Yeah, I’ve noticed it too’, Richie agrees, serious as the topic calls for it. ‘Whatever it is that’s bothering you, you can tell us.’

‘No I can’t, you won’t believe me.’

‘Sweetheart, we murdered a clown eating little kids and feeding off their fears, there’s nothing in the world that you can say that will prevent us from believe you.’

‘Okay fair,’ Rachel trails off apprehensive still, ‘but I don’t want to force additional stress on you guys, we’ve already had so much of that lately.’

‘Little me, if this is about the trial I’m really fucking sorry for putting you through that, but hoeza’, he jazzed hands towards himself, ‘I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never go anywhere either.’

Bursting into tears, Rachel inches closer to her pops and eases herself under his chin, her dad crams up against her side. ‘It’s not, but I’m really grateful for that pops. Promise you’ll believe me and won’t ship me off anywhere?’

‘What? Never. Nothing you’ll confess will ever make us regret you being born.’ Eddie says with vindication. ‘Absolutely nothing.’ The truth is Rachel is getting really tired of the secret she’s storing away, and she’s scared too. Terrified that someday she might accidentally hurt someone, or scared that she’s going to wake up one day and not perceive who she is.

‘I have telekinesis and I think it’s because of IT,’ she breathes out, tensing in her parents grasp as she waits for their reaction. It’s a peculiar statement to preach, but Rachel didn’t think her pops would flat out laugh at her, a reserved giggle that stops abruptly when Eddie mimes his lips shut.

‘What do you mean?’ Eddie asks cautiously.

‘You don’t believe me do you?’

‘It’s not about believing you sweetheart, it’s just where is this is all coming from? Wait, is this a prank you and Richie did to trick me? If so Pennywise is off limits so knock it off.’

‘Eds no-‘

‘No it’s not a prank, I’m serious.’ Rachel underscores, schlepping away from the both of them.

‘Bug, I don’t-‘

‘No, I’ll prove it.’

‘Okay’, Richie agrees trepidation, same as Eddie.

Rachel tries really hard, focusing all her energy and mind on levitating the same book she send flying across the room mere minutes ago, her fist balling and her face blushing in effort, but nothing occurs. Previous times this was the case too, it only happens when she’s focusing on something else, not the task at hand.

Richie snorts, assured that it’s a prank and he’s played by his own daughter, which usually wouldn’t be so far off, but this time it boils rage up under Rachels skin.

‘Stop laughing, I’ve been struggling with this for so long and all you do is laugh at me?’ Rachel grounds out, genuinely hurt that neither of her fathers take the time to listen to her.

Three things follow each other in rapid speed. The first is that Mike descends down the stairs, carrying two books, dustier than the town of Derry itself, and waving them around proudly. ‘I found them, I hope two is enough?’

The second is that the door to the library jingles, and the remaining pack of the losers walks in, and the third is the table starts vibrating, anger pulsing in Rachel’s veins having her focused on something else.

Eddie and Richie stare at the table in shock, their mouths agape as they switch to look between the table and their daughter.

‘Rachel?’

The table is ripped from the handles and jets over two shelf's of the library, landing right in front of the losers’ feet, all of them staring in bewilderment.

‘What the hell is going on in here?’

‘Mike, I think we’re going to need a lot more books.’

#reddie #reddie x daughter #my writing #Richie x Eddie #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrak imagine #richie as a dad #eddie as a dad #richie as a parent #eddie as a parent #other losers are mentioned #mike hanlon

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wordshelp919 · 4 years

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Words Help.

It’s hard to admit to being the victim of abuse. Oftentimes it is the condition of the abusee to believe that they are not worthy of qualifying their experiences as ‘abuse’. Most likely due to repeated conditioning on the part of the abuser. That is the case for me.

I have spent my whole life trying to figure out how to be. Not who. How. My identity did not have the freedom to develop for my own sake, but always for others. As all people are different, it meant that I had to learn varying ways to accommodate all types of people. As a child, I was rarely angry. Even when other people were angry with me, I never lost my cool, at least without attempting to understand the situation. If I could just figure out why they were angry and then fix it, then there wouldn’t be a need for anyone to be upset. It is not always to the benefit of any individual to be so accommodating.

I was isolated in a house with only four people to love. I wanted a happy family, peace, and love and I worked for it as best as I could. In my undying attempt to love the first the members of the family, I neglected to love the fourth. Through my own constant self-adjustment, I somehow became the answer to all of their life’s grievances; their punching bag. My mom’s helplessness from being forced by her mom to beg for rice, being beat up by her dad, brother, uncles, aunts, tormented by her cousins, and every single black person in the all-black neighborhood that she grew up in was subconsciously redirected an iron fisted need for control for me and my sister. My sister is not as accommodating, and eventually her subconscious redirected most of her control therapy to just me.

I was a good kid. Easy-going, kind, and obedient. Unfortunately for me and Ella, the virtue of obedience grays when given to the wrong people.

I cried much too often, and still do. I am very sensitive by nature, but even for someone like that, young Donna cried way too much. I would earn an intense punished no less than once a week. By intense, I mean that it would last for over an hour with screaming and yelling and crying and snot. By third grade I mastered the art of hiding my puffy eyes by deepening my eyelid crease with a bobby pin. I didn’t think it was abnormal to be so puffy eyed from crying so often. I just didn’t want to look weird for school. It’s true, even good children need to be disciplined, but I don’t consider what happened discipline. I know that now because it never was to the benefit of my own virtue. All I learned from those countless hours of being yelled at was that my mom was a severely broken person. After the punishment ended and I was allowed to wash my face and go to bed, I would be left thinking about the knife-tongued words that would echo in my mind well into my early twenties. In an exhausted daze, I would wonder to myself.. why was I so bad at listening to her the first time? Why was I so disobedient? I never thought that I took her for granted or even felt a lack of gratitude towards either of my parents, but I mustn’t do this again because according to her, that is what this all equates to. I don’t want to be those things. But apparently I am. Was. Am. Won’t be starting now.

My dad has a lot of blanks in his life. It is his pride, I believe that is what keeps him from sharing any part of his life that is a story and not just numbers that equate to his grand self-earned worth. Also, probably the fear of someone hearing his story and thinking that it is not that bad. I have that same fear, but I learned about pride from a young age, and I try to do the opposite of whatever my pride tells me to. Pride, my dad, my sister; to disobey one is to disobey all. So fighting pride is not so difficult sometimes. I may be missing the stories of his life that fuel his type of abuse, I can look to my sister’s for the answers.

She learned about his pride from an even younger age than I and it’s through her responses to it that I can understand my dad. We learned about pride from the same live-in teacher, but the only difference between me and her is that she loved power more than people and instead of fighting pride, she became its prodigious student. If only her ease of learning was limited to art, music, and math. She was tainted by evil and became a jaded, angry adult at only 8 years old. The beautiful and innocent nature of children died when she discovered her love for pride and power over others. I asked her one night, bringing to surface the odd, powerful, mysterious quality in her, “what is your secret? How can I be like you?”. She told me she would tell me, but I had to swear that I wouldn’t tell our parents. I promised. “The secret to being like me is that I don’t love Mommy and Daddy all the time”. I was spooked. I broke my promise within the minute.

I am so proud of young Donna for that night. It’s odd, the memories that we choose to keep, but that night I clearly remember feeling terrible for the instinctual decision I made. I was scared and naturally gravitated towards my parents but I betrayed my sister. To think that that night young Donna went with her gut would be a proud moment for young adult Donna. Yet I can’t help feeling as though I failed her(y.d.) She could call out those wrong things with much more clarity than I can even now, all the while loving those wrong people much more than I do.

Anyways my sister’s secret to her twistedness was to withhold love. The opposite of love. Hate.

When you find out that Hester’s power came from Satan worship, you run.

I always thought she loved me differently than how she did our parents. It was clear how much more she loved me, although both her hatred and love was combined with elements of obsession and ownership. Unfortunately, she valued power more. She was fueled by hatred and was enormously jealous of me for the love I received which was so different from that which she did. She never thought once that the difference between us may have been because of the love that I gave. Her pride wouldn’t allow for that kind of thinking. It had to be my fault.

Instead of facing the obvious truth of why my parents loved me more sweetly than they did her, she decided to level the playing field on her own terms. I could not smile in certain ways because she thought I was trying to be cute and by extension, curry favor of people, and by extension, take it away from her. I wasn’t allowed to be sad, in case it would cause someone to comfort me. I was an attention grabber, a brat, selfish, and spoiled. According to her, that is. And most damaging of all, I was a crybaby. Her constant criticism worked for the most part. I don’t smile like that anymore. I not only aggressively hate myself for portraying her other definitions for me but I hate others for those very things as well.

One thing I could not ‘fix’ was the frequency of my tears. I tried holding them off for the first time in my life. I remember that first day clearly. I had given up. I decided not to fight her anymore, but just completely let her have her way and do nothing. I sighed a lot, and with every breath, I felt my energy leaving me. The attempt at complacency didn’t last.

Since that moment, I have cried an average of once a day. It has been 8 years. I guess crying is something that I never grew out of.

So that was a long segway to introduce my father’s story. It is the same, only the subjects are different, the reason for adopting pride is different, and the self-delusion is different. My dad was jealous. Is jealous. Of both me and my sister. It is only a theory, but if not jealousy there is comparison and transactional thinking taking place in his head. No words, just numbers. If there were any words in his brain, a conscious to speak the truth, he would have to hate himself as well. Luckily for him, no such thing has taken place and he can continue to believe that he is a perfect man. He is far from perfect. All too calculative, all too focused on the hurt in his life and not on the well-being of his children. And if my theory serves to be true, then it would be my sister who would have suffered the most from his jealousy. She was the one who was actually good at everything. My dad claims to have been the same. The only difference is that he endorsed for his children what his own father refused to. Not that they didn’t have the financial means to, but his own father chose his eldest son and no one else.

The abuse that comes from my dad is the most twisted and intricate and frightening of all three. I still don’t understand why he is so frightening other than the fact that he worships pride and loves hatred without realizing it. Those things are only momentary band-aids for deep wounds. He has 30 years of bandaids stacked in layers on his heart 10 miles high. What he needs is for those band-aids to be removed, the wound assessed, and then surgery performed to cut deep into the flesh to reveal the cancer that has sprouted and matured into every vague nook and crevice of his body.

My sister and I are treated the same when it comes to his manner of abuse, but my mom bears the brunt of it.

His ego is fueled by putting everyone down. Apparently he requires a lot of fuel because his ego has a half life of one hour.

No one is allowed to ask him a question he doesn’t know the answer to. How dare you make him feel inadequate. Poor kids and your inevitable need to question everything in the world. Poor kids and your tendency to ask for help. You should have known better before asking him a question from your third grade Wordly Wise workbook. Of course he wouldn’t know and of course you would get punished for making him feel stupid. I still remember telling my friends from school that he hit me on the head with a golf club. They were shocked and then I had to tell them it was plastic. As long as it’s plastic it’s okay. I didn’t mention that he screamed in my face and dragged me back by my feet into the study when I tried to run away, scraping my knees on the polished hardwood floor. I didn’t tell them that the golf club bruised my head. And I didn’t tell them that when I told my mom later that night, she didn’t care.

For us, it was a typical Friday night.

Poor kid, you should have just agreed that european is spelled europian. But by then you were already a student of pride.

Poor wife, there are no “should haves” for you. Your poor treatment is inevitable no matter how you change yourself for him. Your existence is for the purpose of being his cannon fodder. When the cannonball is released on enemy territory, it is far away from him, unable to do him any harm. Allegedly. Oddly, you are also enemy territory. It’s confusing, both the metaphor and the real life scenario that it illustrates.

He needs you to anger him so that his own anger and resentment towards his own family can escape him. It allows him to express pent up emotions in the form of hatred against you. The fact that you take his hatred to be constructive criticism is the result of your own abuse. That is not accomodation. Take it from me.

Not everyone has the privilege of learning what it feels like to be treated well.

#family #abuse #acknowlegement #healing

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atheistforhumanity · 5 years

Link

An Example of How Bill O’Reilly Ruined A Generation With Mass Manipulation

Now, you might be thinking, “who the fuck is Bill O’Reilly, and why do I care?” That’s a valid question. Lovable Bill, is the predecessor of Tucker Carlson. He was the shining star of Fox News for most of my life, and he captures the hearts of minds of my parents generation with low brow commentary, manipulative opinions, and dog whistle racism. Bill pretended to be a regular class working Joe that spoke up for the little guy. Tucker Carlson outed his gimmick years ago before he would take Bill’s place, and take on the same fake persona.

So, how did Bill O’Reilly ruin a generation? It’s pretty simple really. Bill O’Reilly was born into the upper class and eventually took a place as an opinion show host pretending to be news, that spouted populist rhetoric in a way that always redirected opinions and anger away from the real perpetrators. Bill is literally one the most dishonest people to ever be on mainstream media, and for over a decade he delivered alternative facts to fox viewers, down played anything anti-capatalist, anti-conservative, and anti-racist. His motto has always been “no spin,” but I’ve never seen him present the whole truth in an accurate way my whole life. Bill is a more well spoken Donald Trump, who uses people’s prejudices, preconceptions, and complete unwillingness to research anything to manipulate people’s minds for a capitalist agenda.

But how does he do this, Ryan? I wish you would be more specific instead of making accusations. Well, it happens that I just came across a band new article written on Bill’s blog, where he tries to continue the glory of yesteryear before he was fired for sexually harassing several women in the work place.

If you take two minutes to read the article linked above, you’ll see that Bill is arguing that bad parenting is the real cause of income inequality. His argument is quite literally, people aren’t raised right and that’s why they can’t succeed financially. He says specifically that it’s not capitalism's fault.

Before I address specifics, let me point out what is generally manipulative about this argument. Bill has touched on a topic that literally any generation of conservatives can get fired up about, and will have built in bias to agree with. Remember, conservatism is literally resistance to change and an affinity for tradition. This also means that every generation bitches and complains about how the next generation raises kids. Remember when your parents told you that you would go to hell for watching Elvis shake his hips? Remember when there were no changing tables in men’s bathrooms? Remember when kids in school used to play “beat the fag” and then they cried victim when we said that was wrong? Yea...

The point is that he’s using a prevalent belief that many different people(but mostly conservatives) can tap into for different (mostly) unspecified reasons. Then he is attributing that common cultural division as responsible for income inequality. We’ll come back to that.

Second, is that Bill makes a point that on some level makes sense, but doesn’t support his larger claim. Are there a lot of bad parents out there? Sure. Do they have a negative effect on the child’s life as he suggests? Of course. Now we could argue all day about what makes a bad parent exactly or the prevalence of bad parents, but it’s irrelevant, because Bill hasn’t given us any solid reason to accept that this alone (or at all) is the cause of income inequality! It’s an outrageously dishonest argument. That doesn’t matter though, because this is how Bill’s followers respond...

Okay, I was going to screen shot some positive responses to Bill tweeting this article but I didn’t see any. Let’s just move on.

Now, let’s take a look at the substance of Bill’s piece.

Education: “If a young child is not exposed to learning by age two, that innocent, helpless person is already at risk in a competitive society. If there are no books in the home, no awareness-building games, no fun dialogue with the parents, the child may not develop a curiosity about life.”

That’s interesting, Bill, because public education and programs like Pre-K are socialist inspired initiatives supplied by the government for the benefit of everyone. Head start programs were first installed by LBJ, but the Black Panthers had actually initiated similar programs in inner cities to feed children breakfast before school.

To say that capitalism has no role in this issue is delusional. Capitalism accepts and even encourages inequality. Betsy Devos is the champion of capitalist education, where attendance is not guaranteed and any difficult or low performing students can be weeded out to create the appearance of success, under no public oversight.

The fight is always the same, liberals want to increase educational funding and conservatives don’t. This is why red states have teacher strikes all over the country and Republicans are fighting against publicly funded college.

If access to education from an early age is so important then we cannot withhold education and then blame those stuck in the cycle of poverty for their own inequity.

Environment/Work Ethic:

Here’s an old and tired argument from the right. People are poor because they don’t work hard enough. But, Bill, how could that be? The average unemployment rate in America is between 3-4%, and the worst is in Alaska with 6.4%. Clearly most Americans are working, you’re always bragging about how great this economy is. Republicans tell people who need assistance to get jobs, but surprise they already have them! We know people aren’t struggling to live because they’re not working, because we have clear numbers that show people are working full-time, but not earning enough to pay basic bills. It’s crazy, it’s almost like the cost of living just keep rising, but the amount people get paid doesn’t. All of this is happening despite the fact that corporate profits have soared, but it never translates into better wages.

While Bill drones on in his article about derelict parents, he never once actually looks at income. He sure doesn’t mention that the amount people are paid is literally up to the people at the top of the economic latter. They can choose to pay workers more or they can stash away more profit in their bank accounts. Guess which one they choose? Despite the fact that we have clear data that shows those who choose how much to pay workers are raising their own profits, the rich like Bill O’Reilly continually berate people as lazy. The entire argument is completely disingenuous because workers are at the mercy of employers.

And if you’re thinking, why doesn’t everyone just get a better job, you’re not thinking that statement through. The Bureau of Labor Statistics tracks how many jobs in the market pay minimum wage or less, and that’s roughly 2.3%.(Nearly 2 million people) You think, great, people can just get a better job. No, not really, because a large number of jobs pay just above the minimum wage and are not included in this figure. Even most retail jobs pay $1 above minimum at least. Pew Research wondered this too, and in 2004 they found that roughly 30% of all hourly workers were making more than minimum wage (7.25 at the time) and less than $10. Guess what, nearly 59% of the entire US workforce are hourly workers, and a third of them are were making $10 or less. I make 13$ an hour, live with a roommate, and am just able to live with no savings in 2019. If I had a wife making the same amount, we would drowned trying to raise even two kids. That’s a travesty.

Roughly 35% of all jobs require a college degree, which is a significant debt due to increases in education and cost of living. Education is very important, but unfortunately most people who are born poor, historically, don’t get to go to college. What does capitalism say about this? Well, again, in a free market system there is no mechanism to correct the disadvantage people are born into, and generally no desire among conservatives to do so. Conservatism is stuck in the past where the poor and uneducated make perfect laborers, but labor as a staple job market is dead in the 21st century. Hence the push toward service jobs, which is all an uneducated person do.

The numbers tell the real story. People are working, but not being paid enough. The people controlling the pay are increasing their own pay. Cost of living is rising faster than worker pay. Funding for education has been stagnant and the cost of higher education rising. All this and I haven’t even gotten into the politics that effect this issue.

How did Bill O’Reilly destroy a generation? By feeding them ignorant, pandering garbage like this article every night for years. By completely ignoring the real facts of any issue and directing your attention to a manipulative hot button, tailored to the bias of conservatives.

The sad thing is that Bill is completely representative of everyone championed by the right wing. They are unintelligent, malicious, racist, greedy, and completely dishonest.

#liberal #economic inequality #civil rights #workers rights #Bill O'Reilly #right wing media #fox news #tucker carlson #minimum wage #corporate america #conservatives #republicans

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yfere · 5 years

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Bowlgate and Beyond! The Empire Kids Learn How To People.

So who wants an opinion on Bowlgate and Yussa’s Tower, forever after the fact??????? Ahahahha!!!! For once, though, I actually did a bit of research into what other people have been saying about these things, so I at least have some idea of the general discussion, though it’s admittedly not the most comprehensive idea. #INeverSayAnythingNew #PleaseForgiveMe #I’mJustHavingAGoodTime. Anyway, this is a two-part series of mine.

Thesis: Caleb and Beau were understandably terrible at communicating, and communicating with each other specifically at Bowlgate. Yet they are progressively getting much better (I would say pretty damn good!) at handling people in general and each other, even as they continue to have arguments.

Part 1: Wherein Caleb Learns Most People Aren’t Mind Readers

Caleb was just not cut out for cooperative group work—at least, not at the start of the story. At the Labenda Swamp, Nott gives him a magic bowl, and he discovers this is a super dangerous artifact that can be used to commune with Tiamat, an Evil Calamity God. The one person who is personally interested in this item is someone he met only hours before, with some sob story about being part of a Tiamat Cult (alarms ringing!) and wanting to find artifacts like this to “destroy them.” Caleb is suspicious, he’s cautious—justifiably so, in his opinion. He feels it’s anyone’s responsibility as someone who doesn’t want to be Evil to make absolutely, unquestionably sure that by helping this person they are not aiding and abetting the promotion of Tiamat’s influence in the world. He concludes that the only way to be sure this person is telling the truth about their intentions is to use Jester’s Zone of Truth to confirm. (If only he still had Suggestion, his favorite spell for these situations!) If they can get Caliana to camp with them, perhaps he can discuss it all with the group privately…..except, Caliana is dead-set on leaving right that second, and won’t stay to camp. So Caleb is left with two choices:

1) Say nothing, and keep the bowl. Nott would never tell the others if he asked her not to, if he really thought keeping it was best. Problem is, then they would have to figure out how to destroy the item themselves, and they’d be endangering the group since the cult is out looking for it. That’s not fair, Caleb’s already been reprimanded for withholding items before, and besides, Caliana could really be telling the truth, could really be the person best suited for destroying these items. Option #1 just won’t work, which in his mind leaves him with

2) Deal with the trust problem right then and there.

Knowing that Caliana is gifted with magic and that he himself is delicate, Caleb thinks, I believe, well, she could turn on us and attack me and leave with the bowl once she sees it and if she doesn’t want to submit to questioning. He decides the only reasonable thing to do is to put a barrier between her and the bowl without her knowing that’s exactly what he’s doing. It’s the same kind of reasoning that eventually leads to Caleb’s Wall of Fire in Darktow. ((funny that hoarding other people’s stuff is his defining trait. saving the world one stolen item at a time, lmao))

So, with the group safely(ish) walling Caliana from the bowl, he reveals it! And the group loudly tells Caliana about it! And he says, basically, I don’t trust you with a powerful item, and you should let us hold you hostage for an evening and let Jester cast magic on you so that your trustworthiness can be confirmed.

To which the party goes, what the fuck, Caleb?!

What the fuck are you saying, without consulting anyone on the matter?! That’s not teamwork???!!?!? Who do you think you are????!?!?!!!

Proper procedure for Caleb would have been to say, one, I don’t want to keep this bowl. This is what the bowl is, this is what worries me about it, this is what worries me about Caliana, and this is what I think we should do—what do you think? Explain reasoning, ask for feedback, collaborate. But Caleb skips through all these steps and goes straight to executing his preferred mode of action, without properly checking in with anyone. He only even begins to explain what the fuck the bowl is (other than “powerful”—vague much?) after Beau takes it away from him and everyone’s hackles are already raised over his behavior.

So of course it feels manipulative, of course it’s pressuring the group—those are the literal effects of his actions, but I think it’s important to distinguish between Caleb actually trying and intending to manipulate people (Fjord in the Diver’s Grave), and Caleb putting unfair pressure on people as an unintended consequence to an unfortunate assumption of his: that because a course of action seems right to him, that it is self evident—everyone must be thinking the same thing as him, it’s super obvious this is Right, why would anyone ever disagree? “Why would you not want to wait twelve hours to see if this woman’s intentions are true or not?!” he asks, in complete bewilderment. Caleb is genuinely incredulous and surprised when the group starts arguing with him, when Jester suggests that maybe they should let Caliana talk to Tiamat if she wants, when Beau and Molly suggest that it’s really none of their business to interfere with Caliana whether her intentions are true or not—if she does bad shit, why should they take the responsibility to stop her? Will it really affect them? Caleb doesn’t consider at the time that his actions might be controlling and pushed back against because he assumes that the group will all absolutely be in his corner in this thing and that he is acting on their collective interests and desires. What he neglects to do is find out whether he actually knows what their interests and desires are, if they actually agree with him. (((There’s also, of course, Caleb doing Typical Gifted Kid Bullshit #150, thinking “oh, but I’ve thought of everything, this has to be the right and only solution to the problem!” No, you haven’t thought of everything Caleb, STFU. Molly and Yasha both bring up solutions to Caleb’s dilemma that Caleb didn’t think of himself—I can cast Friends, Molly said. I can use my sword and try to break it, Yasha said. These are both things Caleb might have come to know if he cared to, say, consult the group before going off at Caliana with his Plan.)))

But why is Caleb so confused at the negative reaction, so thrown for a loop by disagreement? This fascinates me. At this point, you see, Caleb is……not used to being around people with different opinions than him. I mean, conjecturing from his backstory of Mega Propaganda Brainwashing and Conformity, not to mention the Only Child business—it’s quite likely he’s never (or not in a long time) in fact had to deal with a serious difference in opinion before—certainly not one among peers, where authority and power structures aren’t at play. He also definitely hasn’t spent much time around people from different walks of life, who would have different values and life experiences and worldviews from him. He’s always been fairly isolated, 24/7 around people who were trained to think and make decisions in exactly the same way he did, with everyone else being Wrong and an Enemy. Where there was a premium on Obedience—child to parent, student to teacher, patient to doctor. More recently he’s been around Nott, who at this point in the story is also just agreeing with everything he says and not really challenging that assumption. Arguing over gloves and scrolls and bowls—that’s probably new stuff to him. He’s finding out in an ugly way that he can’t project what others are thinking, people don’t think exactly the same way he does, and he doesn’t know how to collaborate in decision making the way he obviously needs to to survive in the group. He doesn’t know how to handle disagreement in any other way than caving in and Following Orders and Keeping the Peace, and he definitely doesn’t know how to handle a disagreement when caving in is no longer a useful strategy, when the cost of caving is, to him, unacceptable.

“You’re a shitty communicator” is actually some of the most useful feedback he could have possibly gotten out of the situation. What is most important for Caleb to learn to do at this point is learn to explain his thinking in detail before he acts in ways that will affect the others, to stop assuming everyone will think in exactly the same way he does, to present his opinion as an opinion rather than The Undisputable Obvious Truth. He needs to learn how to advocate for a course of action and genuinely brainstorm on issues (he has good ideas, but he doesn’t know everything!) instead of either Winning the Argument or Obeying Others. What’s great to see is that Caleb is getting better at all of these things. Compare what he’s doing with the bowl with his planning strategies post-Felderwin. At this point, Caleb has become fairly comfortable in his preferred role as an advisor and source of information. He doesn’t plainly defer to the group without contributing, and he’s careful now about prefacing his opinions with his concerns and reasoning, with saying “I think this because X,” and then asking for others’ opinions. To paraphrase the moorbounder suggestion, he says, “My concern is, and this is not a dealbreaker, but what if we learn Yeza is on the chopping block, and we don’t have enough time to get to him?” which does three things: 1) presents his opinion as an opinion, 2) explains the reason why he thinks it’s a good idea to get the moorbounders and he’s concerned about the “working for the Krynn” idea without assuming everyone already thought of this and his conclusions are obvious, and 3) asks a question that solicits the opinions of the rest of the group. Nice growth, Caleb! When you do this people can actually work together and address your concerns! Caduceus floats letting the city government know what they want ahead of time, they discuss whether the government would have access to teleportation or sending spells, they talk about how much danger Yeza is probably in and how they can determine whether the government can be relied on to follow through on a favor, how they could safely frame their favor. They agree at the very least to prepare to book it on the moorbounders as Plan B—if the job is too long or Yeza gets in trouble or the favor can’t be relied on, they leave. That’s collaboration at work!

Even when the disagreements are personal, Caleb does a much better job at explaining himself and debriefing, though he isn’t perfect. Post-Yussa’s tower, he does a fairly good job explaining why he refused to do what Beau asked of him in the moment. He also does a fairly good job explaining why he wasn’t exactly giddy to go there, though he doesn’t directly address Beau’s line of questioning (she wants to know what about Yussa makes Caleb think he’s tied to Trent specifically—since she thinks that would justify his fear). Instead, he tries to justify his Absolute Caution With Powerful Mages Philosophy by painting a frightening, gory picture that offends Beau and pokes at her own insecurities—does he not believe in her friendship? And Caleb tries to acknowledge that he as Beau are talking at cross purposes and explain himself more but eventually becomes so frustrated and overwhelmed with the misunderstanding that he begins snapping and storms off to scream at a tree. More useful things to do would have been to ask for a break, or to ask Beau to explain what exactly she was feeling so he could address what was bothering her about what he said instead of trying to brute force get his point across through arguing and fright. The point is though, that he’s trying, when he wasn’t before. He’s getting better, their relationship is getting better, and honestly it’s pretty wonderful to watch.

Next is Part 2: Wherein Beau Learns Assumptions are for Chumps

#critical role #cr spoilers #bowlgate #caleb widogast #beauregard #the meta no one asked for ever #long post #i should have edited this down but standards lower during the school week

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themyskira · 5 years

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wowwwww Wonder Woman is developing a real post-Rebirth habit of semi-adopting young women and lying to/manipulating/abandoning them like a jerk and I hate it

Spoilers for WW Annual #3 below.

Paula von Gunther’s new modern-day origin story:

Parents were neo-Nazi terrorists killed by ARGUS agents in an armed stand-off (possibly unnecessarily escalated by ARGUS after the terrorists tried to surrender, though we get all this info from a character who has an interest in casting ARGUS in the worst light)

Diana rescued Paula from the scene of the attack, saw that she was adopted by a nice couple of married ARGUS agents and remained a big part of her life as a big sister figure... and made sure that nobody ever, ever told Paula the truth about who her family were and how they died

Not when a teenage Paula starts asking questions about her little-remembered past (questionable, but understandable at this stage)

Not when Paula reaches adulthood (now it’s no longer justifiable)

Not when Paula decides to become an ARGUS agent (now you’re not only lying and denying her right to know the truth, you’re withholding information that could affect her decision to join the agency and setting her up for serious future anguish)

Essentially ARGUS indoctrinated this young woman from childhood and Diana not only enabled it, she insisted on it and claimed that her lies of omission were simply a refinement of the truth (“The truth is a powerful tool. All we’ve done is refine it.” oh my god you sound like a supervillain)

ALSO allegedly Paula is a descendant of a Valkyrie whose battalion was killed by the Amazons, leading the survivor to make a vow of revenge that all of subsequent members of her bloodline have sought to honour

Again, probably more to this part of the story -- I imagine we’ll find out that it was an EEEEVIL Valkyrie or some such

But given the long history of Nazi/white supremacist appropriation of Norse mythology and culture, making your neo-Nazi villain a direct descendant of a Valkyrie is some seriously poor decision making; it’s a reinforcement of a neo-Nazi narrative

I mean, for fuck’s sake, Steve Orlando

So in the (recent/post-Rebirth) tradition of Donna Troy (former villain brainwashed by the Amazons into becoming a good guy) and Vanessa Kapatelis (child rescued by Diana, whose descent into villainy was in part the result of Diana gaining and then breaking her trust by abandoning her like a jerk) we have yet another little-sister character who Wonder Woman has treated like crap. THANKS, DC.

#comics talk #please god don't let steve orlando stay beyond this six-issue arc

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darks-ink · 5 years

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Disinterred CH.8

Chapter 8: Fool The Whole World

And with all these new possibilities, people had started paying more attention to their surroundings. People acting out, things that didn’t quite make sense. Which, of course, led to people noticing Danny Fenton.

(Tumblr is a functional website which doesn’t allow posts with links (both internal and outgoing) to show up in /search and /tagged so here’s the next-day edit with the link to the author notes + AO3/FFnet mirrors + the other chapters)

“So how’re you feeling, dude?”

Danny shrugged at Tucker as he closed his locker, not even bothering to look at either of his friends. “I dunno. Kinda nervous, but not really? If that makes sense?”

Sam hummed from his other side. “Everything should be okay. Principal Ishiyama promised, and so did Lancer, right?”

“Yup,” he confirmed, straightening his backpack. “But still. I guess I am a little worried that people will, y’know, figure it out.”

“Dude, don’t.” Tucker clapped him on the shoulder, grinning widely. “They haven’t figured it out before, and they won’t do it now either.”

Sam nodded. “Right. If anything, life will be easier for you, now that your parents know and the teachers kinda know.”

“Yeah,” Danny sighed. “I guess so. Let’s just get to English before Lancer gets worried or something.”

Right at that moment the bell rung, and the three of them quickly made their way to the English classroom. Mr. Lancer was already inside, sharing a knowing glance with Danny when he entered. Danny nodded, once, before making his way to his seat in the back of the room.

Within minutes the rest of the classroom filled up as well, the rest of the class chattering loudly. Too many people were talking at once for Danny to tell what the conversations were about, but he could guess. The holidays, Easter, gossip.

And, oh yeah. The police investigation regarding his corpse. Still a common topic among the rumors of Casper High.

Mr. Lancer closed the door, coming to a halt in front of his desk. The expression on his face made it clear that he was hoping that the class would quiet down on its own. Yeah, like that would ever happen.

Instead the man cleared his throat, momentarily catching the attention of the class. He glared around, ensuring that the silence would last a little longer. “Please, kids. I know you want to talk with your friends and catch up after the holidays, but you can wait until lunch to do so.”

The students remained silent for a few moments longer, as if processing what their teacher told them.

And then they completely ignored the man in favor of continuing their previous conversations.

Ah, the beauty of high school. Danny was glad that, despite everything that had changed during the last week or so, some things remained the same as always.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Mr. Lancer didn’t feel the same way. His expression had darkened, a frown on his face and his arms crossed in front of him. He was casting his eyes around the classroom, clearly taking in the chaos of the students ignoring him. Danny waved when the teacher looked his way, and Sam and Tucker next to him also remained silent and focused on the teacher. They appeared to be the only ones, however.

Finally Mr. Lancer gave up, slamming his hand against the desk he was standing next to.

“Heart of Darkness people, will you just keep quiet!” The sudden shout had done an excellent job of quieting down the class, as everyone sat frozen in their seats, looking at the teacher. He looked around the class, straightening out his tie with a somewhat sheepish expression his face.

“Ah, yes. Thank you.” He looked around the class once more. “I see that you are all still a little out of it after the break, so perhaps we should ease into our schoolwork, yes? Why don’t we start with a discussion about recent news? Anything particular we could use?”

“Uhm,” Mikey spoke up from the front of the classroom. “Maybe we could talk about the body the police found in the woods?”

“Yeah! Didn’t the police release an official statement about that this morning?” Nathan agreed, nodding energetically.

Mr. Lancer frowned, apparently hesitant about taking up the topic. Maybe he was trying to avoid it for Danny? If that was the case, Danny definitely appreciated the attempt.

Sadly, Lancer couldn’t come up with a reason to deny Mikey’s suggestion. The man sighed before nodding at the student. “Yes, I suppose that would work. Let’s start by summarizing the known facts.” He turned towards Dash, gesturing at the boy. “Mr. Baxter?”

The boy in question jerked to attention, eyes flicking towards Mr. Lancer. Danny had to repress his chuckles at seeing that Dash hadn’t heard anything. “I, uh…”

Lancer rolled his eyes and sighed. “Ms. Sanchez, could you summarize the facts for us, please?”

“Of course,” Paulina chirped, putting down the nail file she was holding. “Not that we have many facts confirmed for us. We’ve known for a while that a body was found in the woods. And earlier this morning, the police officially announced that they have solved the case, but they refuse to give out details.” She clicked her tongue, disapprovingly. “Something about respecting the victim and the family, or whatever.”

Lancer heaved another sigh, but nodded at her. “Yes, thank you. Now that we know the facts-” Lancer continued speaking, but Danny tuned him out thanks to years of practice.

This was going to be a long day.

Danny had been wrong. It wasn’t just a long day, more like a long week. The never-ending rumors about the body found in the woods hadn’t let up, and the new statement given by the police had just rekindled the fires.

And, of course, this made the students of Casper High surprisingly sharp. Only his years of experience at keeping his secret had prevented the school from figuring him out. He made sure to double (and triple) check his environment every time he used his powers, and only transformed into Phantom in closets and empty bathrooms.

Unfortunately, while Danny had become quite skilled at keeping his secrets, well, secret, the same thing couldn’t be said of his teachers. Because, as much as he appreciated them going easy on him, it was also quite obvious.

Well, obvious to the sharp eyes of Casper High’s re-awakened rumor mill, at least.

Naturally, the other students had no problem taking the changed behavior and running with it. Before Danny knew it, rumors about him being a ghost had started circulating, spreading like wildfire.

And he was powerless to stop it.

Really, the only thing he could do was ignore it. Pretend that nothing had changed, in the hopes that it would blow over.

It was dangerous, he knew. Sure, right now they were just high school rumors. But if they kept up, if he in any way suggested that there was a truth to the rumors… Well, eventually the wrong people would find out. And if anyone with any actual power tested him…

Well, he was sure that they would be able to figure out that he was only half ghost. And from there… labs, experimentation, finding out what makes him tick… and how to replicate it. His accident.

Making more human-ghost hybrids.

No, that wasn’t something he could risk. But there was nothing he could do, not now. If he did anything, reacted in any way to the rumors, he would only feed them.

So he could only listen to the rumors as they spread, and try not to do anything to suggest them to be true.

The body that had been found in the woods had been an interesting subject for gossip for a while now, inspiring curiosity among the entire population of Amity Park. And, as the queen of gossip, Paulina had to know every theory, every possibility, and, as proven earlier, every fact.

After the press statement on Monday morning, people had started suggesting that the victim had become a ghost, and that they were still present in the city.

It would make sense, Paulina decided, to withhold information about the case if the victim was still around. And, based on that information, the victim was likely still pretending to be alive. Blending in with the living, at least.

The people in charge would’ve been told. If the victim was a child, or a teenager, like people thought, teachers would’ve been told for sure.

And with all these new possibilities, people had started paying more attention to their surroundings. People acting out, things that didn’t quite make sense.

Which, of course, led to people noticing Danny Fenton.

Sure, the boy had always been different. An outcast, spending most of his high school career outside the classroom, either running late or simply running off. His grades were poor as well, although Paulina had to admit hers weren’t much better either.

But now, after the break, something about Fenton had changed. Not him, nothing about his appearance.

No, what had changed was how the teachers behaved around him.

Fenton was always late, always running off, never finished his homework. And the teachers hated him for it. They scolded him, gave him detention, they tried everything to stop the boy from misbehaving.

But now, suddenly, they were nice to him again.

Sure, most of them were clearly peeved when Fenton ran off or was late. But they weren’t nearly as hard on him as before the break.

And when they thought no one was looking (or sometimes even if there were), the teachers looked… sad, for lack of a better word. Like something about Fenton upset the teachers, but in a different way than before.

Combined with the new rumors that there was a ghost living among the people… Well, it was easy to connect the dots for the gossipers of Casper High.

Paulina wasn’t sure who started the rumors, but quite honestly, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care about the fact that she might be spreading hurtful gossip either.

No, all that mattered to her was that this was a delightful story, and Paulina was more than happy to do her job spreading it.

After all, little Danny Fenton, a ghost? His parents were ghost hunters! What a beautiful contradiction, a fantastic irony.

Paulina didn’t hold very high opinions of the adult Fentons. Nor of the children, but that was something else entirely.

No, the two ghost hunting Fentons were clearly not in their right minds. Even if they were right about ghosts, they always targeted Phantom! Her ghost-boy, who wouldn’t hurt a single human!

And as for the matter of Danny’s death… Well, she wouldn’t consider it impossible if the parents had been responsible, somehow. Maybe not on purpose, but…

Well, maybe on purpose. Perhaps catching a ghost turned out to be so difficult that they just made one.

Maybe… Maybe Danny had been the first ghost in Amity. Maybe that was why Phantom always seemed to follow him. Her ghost-boy was just looking out for his fellow ghost.

It could even be tradition, for ghosts! To look out for younger ghosts, like a parent over a child.

She thought that that would be perfectly in-character for her beautiful Phantom. To protect a ghost from his own ghost-hunting parents.

Yes, that seemed right. That is what she would spread. Her influence on these rumors, her own twist.

At first, Dash thought that the new rumors were kinda funny. Like, “haha, the freaky ghost hunters’ kid is a ghost” funny.

But then he listened to some of the other kids debate and argue, and, well. They raised some excellent points.

He had thought that it was a joke. But maybe, maybe, there was a truth to the rumors.

And that unnerved him in a way he couldn’t explain. Not just because of his poor grades, because he didn’t have the words for it. No, he couldn’t explain it because it was something visceral. A feeling beyond description, beyond words.

Because if Fenton was a ghost, what did that mean for Dash? If Fenton was a ghost, something must’ve killed him, right? And Dash… Dash bullied the kid a lot. Almost constantly, really. And for the stupidest reasons.

Fenton had never seemed suicidal to Dash, sure. But Dash had also never considered the possibility that Fenton had, at some point, died. And now, watching the boy react to Dash’s threats… He could imagine missing it. The reactions weren’t quite genuine, like Fenton had seen worse.

And Dash had never noticed until now. So, sure, he could’ve missed Fenton going suicidal as well. Hell, he could have easily missed the entire arc, from the kid feeling suicidal to ending it and then coming back, without ever picking up on it.

But Dash refused to believe it to be the truth. No matter how convincing the arguments of some of the smarter kids were, how much sense it would make. Because Fenton couldn’t be dead. Not really.

Dash couldn’t- Dash refused to consider it. Because if Fenton was dead, he could’ve been the reason for it. And that surely wasn’t the case. He was a bully, sure. But it was just harmless fun. A few bruises at worst.

Not this. Not death.

So, sure. He played along, laughed with the others. But he refused to believe it to the truth. Even if Fenton was always pretty cold to the touch.

Even if Fenton sometimes got out of his locker way faster than humanly possible. As if the boy could just phase out of it.

Even if Fenton could somehow stuff Dash’s locker with toilet paper without ever opening the locker.

Or being seen.

No. Dash refused to believe it. Fenton wasn’t a ghost, and he wasn’t dead.

Dash was sure of it.

Danny was freaking out.

Well, Sam thought to herself, bitterly. When is he not freaking out, these days? But she couldn’t blame him. Life had been beyond stressful for Danny ever since he became half-ghost. And the whole business with the police finding his body and assuming that he was a full ghost… Well, it was a whole mess.

And now, when things were finally starting to look up, life had kicked him down again. Finally things had been fixed, the police weren’t on his ass anymore, his parents knew and accepted him, and even the teachers would be going easy on him.

But unfortunately, Casper High’s rumor mill had done a scarily accurate job of targeting Danny. Because they thought that he was a ghost, that it was his body that had been found in the woods.

And god, they were right. They didn’t know it yet, didn’t have any actual proof. But they didn’t have to to freak out Danny. And the more stressed out he became, the more his inner turmoil was fed… The easier it was for him to slip up, to miss something obvious.

To give their fellow students the one final clue they needed.

Sam dreaded it too, of course. She needed her best friend to stay safe, to stay out of trouble. But there was nothing she could do to prevent this situation.

Except…

Except maybe it wasn’t all bad. Sure, she wouldn’t promote the idea of Danny being a ghost… But maybe it would have some upsides.

Yes. This could work. This was something she could do, a way for her to support Danny.

But, just to be sure, she should talk to Tucker about it. And Jazz, if the girl wasn’t too busy with college at the moment.

Sam smiled to herself. Finally, finally, she had a way to help Danny through this mess.

And help him she would.

#danny phantom #phanfic #phanfiction #dp fanfic #dp fanfiction #danny fenton #dash baxter #paulina sanchez #sam manson #dark writes #disinterred #next up: But Now I Tell A Single Truth

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nerdygaymormon · 6 years

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David Simmons

David Simmons is a professor of Film Studies and Humanities at Northwest Florida State College (NWFSC) in Niceville, FL. That’s a very small town about half-way between Pensacola & Tallahassee in the Florida panhandle which is “the reddest of the red part of Florida.”

He attended BYU for both his Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, and taught at the Missionary Training Center during that time. While at BYU he performed in several operas and plays, and was in Concert Choir and BYU Singers. He earned his Ph.D. from Florida State University.

He makes a big impact in his north Florida community. He organized an on-campus Film Club, and a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA). As faculty advisor to the GSA, he’s helped them organize the area’s first LGBTQ Masquerade ball, which was open to the public. He also organized the city of Niceville’s very first Pride Walk.

He attends his local ward where he’s the choir director. “It’s difficult being gay and being a member of the church. It shouldn’t have to be. The Gospel is for everyone. But sadly, some members don’t think that.” He describes his ward as “a very conservative, military ward” (there’s an air force base nearby).

Can you imagine being a queer kid in this conservative little town of 12,000 and all of a sudden, there’s someone openly gay who is making safe spaces and raising the profile of the queer community?

This past week he was invited by his bishop to speak on ministering to LGBTQ members during a joint 3rd-hour meeting (5th Sunday). He says “There was a lot of pushback after I finished the talk, but that’s OK. I want to help church to be more loving for those who come after me.”

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“By This Shall All Men Know Ye Are My Disciples” Dr. David C. Simmons Sep. 30, 2018

On the last night of his mortal life, Jesus invited Judas to leave so that He could give a special message to his remaining 11 apostles (John 13:27-31). In Jesus’ Final Sermon, He gave them a sign, a way to tell who are Jesus’ true followers and who are not: “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).

In other words, Jesus knew there would be some who would claim to be His followers, but are not. We can recognize them, both in and out of the Church, because instead of loving those who are different than they are, they put them down in a self-righteous way.

Jesus went to the outsiders of his local community: the sinners, the poor, the lame, the blind, the lepers. He was teaching His true followers, in both word and deed, how to develop the capacity to love like He does.

In our day, some of the ones who have been treated the harshest by Christian churches are members of the LGBTQ community. A few supposed-Christians use passages of scripture, or proclamations, or words from bygone leaders as weapons to harm the very natures of these children of God.

I work with LGBTQ students at the College. I’ve listened to their stories. I’ve heard time and time again how they have been rejected by their families, their churches, and their communities, just for being who they are.(1)

Many of their “Christian” parents, thinking they were “doing God service” (John 16:2), threw them out of their homes and families. Now these teenagers are homeless. LGBTQ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness than their peers.(2)

LGBTQ youth are also 5 times more likely to commit suicide than their peers.(3) Nearly half of all LGBTQ youth have attempted suicide more than once.(4) And rates are even worse among LGBTQ youth who are members of the Church. Teen suicide rates in Utah have doubled since 2011, while the rest of the country did not see an increase.(5)

Why is this?

I want you to imagine that you were born as a member of the LGBTQ community. You grew up in Primary singing, “I Am a Child of God.” But then, at some point you were told by those who are closest to you, by those whom you love and trust to tell you the truth, that God doesn’t love you—that He has no place for you in the plan of salvation.

What are your options at that point? It seems that none of them are very good:

1) You can remain in the Church and live a lonely, pain-filled existence.(6) While everyone around you is boasting about the joy of marriage and being part of a family, you are constantly reminded that that is not for you.

2) You can leave the Church and find love and a family. But then you are left without the great spiritual helps the Gospel of Jesus Christ can offer.

3) You can marry someone of the opposite sex and may not be fulfilled. The Church does not encourage this anymore(7) because divorce rates in mixed-orientation marriages are far higher—80%(8)—and then often involve children.(9)

Can you feel that none of these options are fulfilling? Perhaps this is why so many LGBTQ members of the Church lose all hope and purpose and then may choose to end their lives.(10)

The Church is concerned about this. Just last month, on August 9, 2018, ward councils all over the world received a document called “Preventing Suicide and Responding after a Loss.” It begins with: “Members of the Church everywhere are invited to take an active role within their communities to minister to those who have thoughts of suicide or who are grieving a loss.”(11)

The Church is changing considerably how it ministers with love to its LGBTQ members.(12)

When Dan Reynolds, the lead singer of Imagine Dragons, organized an Aug. 2017 concert in Provo called LoveLoud, to let LGBTQ members know they are loved,(13) the Church put out an official statement endorsing that event: “We applaud the LoveLoud Festival for LGBT youth’s aim to bring people together to address teen safety and to express respect and love for all of God’s children. We join our voice with all who come together to foster a community of inclusion in which no one is mistreated because of who they are or what they believe. We share common beliefs, among them the pricelessness of our youth and the value of families. We earnestly hope this festival and other related efforts can build respectful communication, better understanding and civility as we all learn from each other.”(14)

Just two weeks ago, on Sep. 17, 2018, the Church called Elizabeth Jane Darger, a longtime LGBTQ advocate,(15) to be on the General Young Women’s Board.(16) What a powerful voice to have advocating for LGBTQ youth in the Young Women’s program!

The Church also has an official website, Mormon and Gay (mormonandgay.lds.org). It features the stories of many LGBTQ members, which are helpful for putting yourself in their shoes, so you can grow in understanding.(17)

This Church website also teaches several important principles:

1) “God loves all of us. He loves those of different faiths and those without any faith. He loves those who suffer. He loves the rich and poor alike. He loves people of every race and culture, the married or single, and those who. . . identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And God expects us to follow his example.”(18)

2) “No true follower of Christ is justified in withholding love because you decide to identify [as a member of the LGBTQ community].”(19)

3) “God’s plan is perfect, even if our current understanding of His plan is not.”(20)

We don’t see the whole picture right now. As Paul taught: “For we know in part, and we prophesy in part” (1 Corinthians 13:9-13). Since we only “see through a glass, darkly” in relation to many eternal things, instead of pretending that we fully understand God’s will in all ways, shouldn’t we act on what He has called us to do: love? That was the Savior’s prime commission to His followers. Indeed, it’s how they would be identified by others as His true disciples.

The problem may lie in our understanding of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Some members may look at them as having a physical impairment that needs fixing. Both Elder Holland, in General Conference,(21) and the Church’s official website explain that this is not true(22). LGBTQ members are not choosing a “lifestyle”; it is how they are.

If we could learn to see our LGBTQ brothers and sisters like the Savior sees them, it would change our entire worldview and behavior. We would never make jokes about the LGBTQ community in our daily interactions. We would never express disgust at someone whose gender or sexuality was different than ours. We would never teach a child to turn off the TV when an LGBTQ person talks about their life.(23) Such actions not only contain unknowing bias and privilege, but are also doing untold harm to the lived lives of our brothers and sisters.

Statistically, at least 5% of the population is a member of the LGBTQ community,(24) with some recent surveys having this percentage far higher.(25) Even if we take the lower figure, that means that in a ward of 500 people, there may be at least 25 LGBTQ members. That so many of them are now less active is telling.

You and I both know multiple members, including young men and young women, who have passed through our ward, and been told they were “others,” or “less than,” or “outsiders” because of their gender or their sexuality. They sat through well-meaning but uninformed talks and lessons where a statement or teaching was weaponized against them. They were made to feel as though there was no place for them in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Today, many of them have left the embracing arms of the Savior, His atonement, and His restored gospel. What a breathtaking, unbelievable loss for us, for them, and for God.

We still love them. But wouldn’t it better if they had these things to bless their lives too? Aren’t they better off inside the Church, rather than being forced away because of the unkind words and deeds of those who should be followers of Jesus Christ? Isn’t that what true ministering is all about? Reaching out with love to people no matter where they are on their spiritual journey?

Last month, speaking in a BYU Devotional, Eric D. Huntsman, a Professor of Ancient Scripture, explained our need to minister with love to our LGBTQ brothers and sisters: “We should never fear that we are compromising when we make the choice to love. . . . Accepting others. . .means simply that we allow the realities of their lives to be different than our own. Whether those realities mean that they look, act, feel, or experience life differently than we do, the unchanging fact is that they are children of loving heavenly parents, and the same Jesus suffered and died for them, as for us. Not just for LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers but for many people, the choice to love can literally make the difference between life and death.”(26)

Undoubtedly, there are those in this room who will have children, other family members, or friends who will come out to you. It will be one of the most painfully vulnerable moments of their life. Decide right now, that you will respond immediately with overwhelming love and kindness. That’s all you have to do. Just put your arms around them and say, “Thank you for telling me. I love you just like you are.”

Think to yourself, “How would the Savior reach out with love?” Then love like that. It may take having to unlearn some of the things your local culture has taught you in order to walk the higher way of the Law of the Gospel (loving like Jesus loved).

Seek out LGBTQ people in your circles of influence. Get to know them and their stories. Instead of correcting and instructing, just listen, feel, and love them for who they are. Become a powerful friend and ally.

If you don’t have the strength to do this yet, cry out to your God for strength, for courage, and for the ability to develop the capacity to love as He loves.

If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, try this experiment. Go home tonight and pray in secret: “Dear Heavenly Father, do you love me?” Feel God’s immense peace and love wash over you as He confirms this with certainty. You are His child and He loves you. The Gospel is for you too.

Conclusion The Holy Ghost bears record to our souls that God loves all of his children, not just his straight children. He loves his gay children, his lesbian children, his bi children, his trans children, and those who are still trying to understand the divine way he made them. The atonement of Jesus Christ is for everyone.

Nephi taught this sublime, eternal truth: “[The Savior] inviteth all to come unto him and partake of his goodness.” What does “all” mean? It means “all.”

“And he denieth none that come unto him.” What does “none” mean? It’s means “none.”

“Black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen [that means non-member]; and all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33, emphasis added).

It’s my testimony that the Savior’s atonement is for everyone. He wants us to establish Zion right here and right now. But that can only be done by partaking of the atonement, and allowing our natures to be changed so that we are filled with love for everyone, especially those whom our local culture deems as “outsiders.” Then we can’t wait to go forth, becoming the Savior’s hands to lift, to minister, and to love others.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[If you need someone to talk with about the ideas presented here, please email me (David Simmons): [email protected]]

Appendix 1: Scriptures, Quotes, and Resources for Further Study

“Mormon LGBT Questions.” Bryce Cook, March 17, 2017. This is the most profound resource on how the Church’s view on LGBTQ members has changed over time. I think every member of the Church should read it. If it’s too long, read a summary here:

“LGBT Questions: An Essay.” By Common Consent, March 19, 2017. This is a summary of Bryce Cook’s landmark “Mormon LGBT Questions” document.

Mormon and Gay. This is the Church’s official website. They recently changed the name from mormonsandgays to mormonandgay to acknowledge the many members who are both.

“Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces: Making Room for Struggle as Well as Faith.” Eric D. Huntsman. Aug. 7, 2018, BYU Speeches. A masterful talk given last month at a BYU Devotional about our need to love each other wherever we are on our spiritual journey.

“A Mission President’s Beautiful Response When a Missionary Came Out to Him as Gay.” LDS Living, Aug. 27, 2018. Cal Burke’s inspiring story about coming out to his mission president and being received with love.

“Mormon and/or Gay?” By Common Consent, Aug. 20, 2018. How we often unknowingly use “othering” language in our discourse about our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

“To Mourn with Gay Friends That Mourn.” By Common Consent, Oct. 4, 2017. Why we often correct and instruct rather than listen and feel when we talk with our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

“An Open Letter to Latter-Day Saints: When a Gay Person Shows Up at Church.” By Common Consent, Nov. 8, 2015. A discussion of the unbearable choice given to LGBTQ members.

That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. Tom Christofferson. SLC: Deseret Book: Sep. 2017. An apostle’s gay brother tells his experience of being unconditionally loved and supported by his family and bishopric after coming out to them. You can purchase it here.

President M. Russell Ballard • “I want anyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do. We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home.”(27)

Elder Quentin L. Cook • “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”(28)

Matthew 9: Loving Outsiders is More Important than Church Ritual • Matthew 9:10-11 “And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?” Here, church leaders and members are rebuking Jesus for being with tax collectors (a hated segment of society, that were often excommunicated from the synagogues) and sinners • Matthew 9:12-13 “But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy [Greek: eleos, “love” or “compassion”] and not sacrifice.” Jesus is here quoting Hosea 6:6, where He once told the prophet: “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices” (N.L.T. Hosea 6:6). In other words, showing love to the outcasts of society is more important than church rituals. It’s more important than partaking of the sacrament. It’s more important than going to the temple. If you don’t love others (especially the outsiders, like Jesus did) than none of the rituals • N.L.T. Matthew 9:13 “For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Jesus is very clear with these church leaders and members who think they are following all the rules, but yet are looking on the outcasts of society, that they are in a far worse position than those they look down on. They are the greater sinners.

Humble Outsiders Will Go Into the Kingdom of God before SelfRighteous Members • Matthew 21:31 During His mortal ministry, the Savior had some of his harshest words to say to members of the Church who were afflicted by self-righteous-itis. They thought they were better than females, or the poor, or those outside certain family lines. To them, He said: “The publicans and harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.” • Matthew 22:1-14 Jesus also told the parable of the marriage of the king’s son, where those who were bidden to the marriage dinner “would not come,” so the king tells his servants to go out to the highways and gather as many of those the world deemed as outsiders, to come partake of the feast. He said to do this because “many are called [baptized members of the Church], but few are chosen [to live the way the Savior lives].” • The Savior Himself went to the poor, the lame, the leprous, the blind, to those whom society deemed outsiders. If we want to be like Him, we shouldn’t align ourselves with the self-righteous in our day and put down the vulnerable and the outsiders. We should instead follow His example and seek out those who may have been labeled “outsiders.”

The Outsiders Will Go Into Heaven Before Complacent Members • Luke 14:15 “And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God.” Since this teaching may not be absolutely clear, Jesus gives a parable to explain it—the Parable of the Great Supper. • Luke 14:16-17 “Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: and sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.” What’s the supper? Feasting on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is such a beautiful image. When we take it inside of us, it becomes part of who we are (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • How do we accept the invitation to the Supper? Through baptism (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • Luke 14:18-20 “And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused. And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee, have me excused. And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.” What excuses do people make not to come to the feast? New ground, new oxen, new wife. There are many reasons that people can give for not putting the Gospel of Jesus Christ first in their lives. Do we ever put possessions, or even family members, before the Savior? What does Jesus say about this in verse 26? “If any man come to me and [Greek “doesn’t love less”] his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also; or in other words, is afraid to lay down his life for my sake; he cannot be my disciple” (J.S.T. Luke 14:26). This is tough. What do you do if your wife wants you to stay home instead of doing your home teaching? What do you do if your parents tell you they will disown you if you get baptized into the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ? When I was on my mission in Texas, there was an 18-year-old non-member girl named Letti who went to seminary with some of her friends, felt the Spirit of God tell her it was true, and knew she needed to join. But her parents told her that if she did, she would no longer be considered one of their family. What a tough choice for anyone to have to make. Yet, she went through with her decision to be baptized anyway, for she could not put other things—even family—before the Savior. Letti was being a true disciple of Jesus Christ. She put him first above all things, even her own family • Luke 14:21-24 “So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. And the servant said, Lord it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room. And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.” What does this mean? • 1) Since the Jews, the Lord’s covenant people, were rejecting the supper, that great feast of the Gospel was just about to go to the spiritually poor, maimed, halt, and blind: in other words, the Gentiles, beginning at the time of Paul (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • 2) For me, individually, it means I need to come and partake of the Savior, and his Gospel, and have this mighty value change in my life where I realize that earthly things are only here to be turned into eternal things by using them to help other people, so that my place at the eternal feast doesn’t go to someone else who is more giving, more loving, and more compassionate than I am. I need tobe like the Savior.

Matthew 19:30 The First Shall Be Last and the Last Shall Be First • Jesus said: “But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.” • As Dr. Fatimah Sellah recently said: “I’ve long believed of the marginalized of this church and the world, that if the first shall be last and the last shall be first: I’d be careful if I were first right now. I’d be careful if I were the ones at the pulpits and held the power. God is a God of disruption and flips things on its head.”(29)

Ephesians 2:19 There Are No Outsiders in God’s Church • “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.”

President Brigham Young • “The least, the most inferior person now upon the earth . . . is worth worlds” (Journal of Discourses 9:124).

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf • “Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin. We can even make the mistake of thinking that because someone is different from us, it must mean they are not pleasing to God. This line of thinking leads some to believe that the Church wants to create every member from a single mold—that each one should look, feel, think, and behave like every other. This would contradict the genius of God, who created every man different from his brother, every son different from his father. . . . As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are united in our testimony of the restored gospel and our commitment to keep God’s commandments. But we are diverse in our cultural, social, and political preferences. The Church thrives when we take advantage of this diversity and encourage each other to develop and use our talents to lift and strengthen our fellow disciples” (“Four Titles.” Ensign. May 2013).

Bishop Gerald Causse, First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric • “During His earthly ministry, Jesus was an example of one who went far beyond the simple obligation of hospitality and tolerance. Those who were excluded from society, those who were rejected and considered to be impure by the self-righteous, were given His compassion and respect. They received an equal part of His teachings and ministry. • “For example, the Savior went against the established customs of His time to address the woman of Samaria, asking her for some water. He sat down to eat with publicans and tax collectors. He didn’t hesitate to approach the leper, to touch him and heal him. Admiring the faith of the Roman centurion, He said to the crowd, “Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel” (Matthew 8:10; see also 8:2-3; Mark 1:40-42; 2:15; John 4:7-9). • “In this Church there are no strangers and no outcasts. There are only brothers and sisters. The knowledge that we have of an Eternal Father helps us be more sensitive to the brotherhood and sisterhood that should exist among all men and women upon the earth. • “A passage from the novel Les Misérables illustrates how priesthood holders can treat those individuals viewed as strangers. Jean Valjean had just been released as a prisoner. Exhausted by a long voyage and dying of hunger and thirst, he arrives in a small town seeking a place to find food and shelter for the night. When the news of his arrival spreads, one by one all the inhabitants close their doors to him. Not the hotel, not the inn, not even the prison would invite him in. He is rejected, driven away, banished. Finally, with no strength left, he collapses at the front door of the town’s bishop. The good clergyman is entirely aware of Valjean’s background, but he invites the vagabond into his home with these compassionate words: “‘This is not my house; it is the house of Jesus Christ. This door does not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief. You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome. … What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me [your name], you had one which I knew.’ “[Valjean] opened his eyes in astonishment. “‘Really? You knew what I was called?’ “‘Yes,’ replied the Bishop, ‘you are called my brother.’” (Les Miserables 1:73). • “In this Church our wards and our quorums do not belong to us. They belong to Jesus Christ. Whoever enters our meetinghouses should feel at home. • “It is very likely that the next person converted to the gospel in your ward will be someone who does not come from your usual circle of friends and acquaintances. You may note this by his or her appearance, language, manner of dress, or color of skin. This person may have grown up in another religion, with a different background or a different lifestyle. • “We all need to work together to build spiritual unity within our wards and branches. An example of perfect unity existed among the people of God after Christ visited the Americas. The record observes that there were no “Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.” (4 Nephi 1:17). • “Unity is not achieved by ignoring and isolating members who seem to be different or weaker and only associating with people who are like us. On the contrary, unity is gained by welcoming and serving those who are new and who have particular needs. These members are a blessing for the Church and provide us with opportunities to serve our neighbors and thus purify our own hearts. • “Reach out to anyone who appears at the doors of your Church buildings. Welcome them with gratitude and without prejudice. If people you do not know walk into one of your meetings, greet them warmly and invite them to sit with you. Please make the first move to help them feel welcome and loved, rather than waiting for them to come to you. • “After your initial welcome, consider ways you can continue to minister to them. I once heard of a ward where, after the baptism of two deaf sisters, two marvelous Relief Society sisters decided to learn sign language so they could better communicate with these new converts. What a wonderful example of love for fellow brothers and sisters in the gospel! • “I bear witness that no one is a stranger to our Heavenly Father. There is no one whose soul is not precious to Him. • “I pray that when the Lord gathers His sheep at the last day, He may say to each one of us, “I was a stranger, and ye took me in.” Then we will say to Him, “When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in?” And He will answer us, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:35-40). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen” (“Ye Are No More Strangers,” General Conference, October 2013).

ENDNOTES ——————————

(1) McKeon, Jennie. “NWFSC Students Hosting Inaugural Gay Ball.” WUWF. Sep. 20, 2018. http://www.wuwf.org/post/nwfsc-students-hostinginaugural-gay-ball

(2) Silva, Christina. “LGBT Youth are 120% More Likely to Be Homeless Than Straight People, Study Shows.” Newsweek. Nov. 30, 2017. https://www.newsweek.com/lgbt-youth-homeless-study-727595

(3) “Facts About Suicide.” The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/factsabout-suicide/#sm.001r5tfiv1doccqtqy6168cjea5zn

(4) http://www.speakforthem.org/facts.html

(5) Utah Department of Health, https://ibis.health.utah.gov/pdf/opha/publication/hsu/SE04_SuicideE piAid.pdf See also: Hatch, Heidi. “Is Utah’s Youth Suicide Rate Linked to Utah’s Culture Surrounding LGBT?” https://kutv.com/news/local/isutahs-youth-suicide-rate-linked-to-utahs-culture-surrounding-lgbt See also the Church’s official page on LGBTQ suicide: https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/depression-andsuicide?lang=eng

(6) “My Life at BYU-I as a Gay Mormon.” https://zelphontheshelf.com/mylife-at-byu-i-as-a-gay-mormon/

(7) “President Hinckley. . .made this statement: ‘Marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices.’” https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/interview-oaks-wickmansame-gender-attraction

(8) Kort, Joe. “Mixed-Orientation Marriages.” GLBTQ. 2015. http://www.glbtqarchive.com/ssh/mixed_orientation_marriages_S.pdf

(9) Carol Kuruvilla, “Gay Mormon Who Became Famous for Mixed Orientation Marriage Is Divorcing His Wife.” Huffington Post. Jan. 29, 2018. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gay-mormon-josh-weeddivorce_us_5a6f331be4b06e253269d34a

(10) Lang, Nico. “‘I See My Son In Every One of Them’: With a Spike in Suicides, Parents of Utah’s Queer Youth Fear the Worst.” Vox. March 20, 2017. https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/3/20/14938950/mormonutah-lgbtq-youth

(11) This document outlines the warning signs for suicide: • Looking for a way to kill themselves • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Acting anxious or agitated or behaving recklessly • Withdrawing or isolating themselves • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Displaying extreme mood swings When you many of these there are three things to remember: Ask, Care, Tell.

1) Ask. Ask the person directly if they are thinking about suicide. If they say yes, ask: “Do you have a plan to hurt yourself.” If the answer is yes, call a crisis helpline. (The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.) If the answer is no, move to step 2: 2) Care. Show that you care by listening to what they say. Give them time to explain how they are feeling. Respect their feelings by saying something like: “I’m sorry you are in so much pain. I didn’t realize how hard things are for you right now.” You might offer to help them make a Suicide-Prevention Safety Plan that helps people identify their personal strengths, positive relationships and healthy coping skills. 3) Tell. Encourage the person to tell someone who can offer more support. If they will not seek help, you may need to tell someone for them. You may want to say something like: “I care about you and want you to be safe. I’m going to tell someone who can offer you the help you need.” Respect them by letting them pick the resource, such as a someone on the free crisis helpline.

(12) For the best, most-thorough examination of the how the Church’s position regarding LGBTQ members has changed since the days of President Kimball, see: Cook, Bryce. “Mormon LGBT Questions.” March 17, 2017. I think every member of the Church should read this. https://mormonlgbtquestions.com/2017/03/17/what-do-we-know-ofgods-will-for-his-lgbt-children-an-examination-of-the-lds-churchsposition-on-homosexuality/

(13) A documentary called Believer (2018) tells the fascinating, dramatic story of the lead-up to this concert: https://www.hbo.com/content/hboweb/en/documentaries/believer/a bout.html Here’s how you can watch it: https://heavy.com/entertainment/2018/06/watch-believerdocumentary-online/

(14) Official Church Statement, August 16, 2017, https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-statement-loveloud-festival

(15) Cynthia L. “New YW and RS Boards Include Two Black Women, ‘Common Ground’ LGBT Inclusion Advocate.” Sep. 18, 2018. https://bycommonconsent.com/2018/09/18/new-yw-and-rs-boardsinclude-two-black-women-common-ground-lgbt-inclusionadvocate/#more-106875

(16) https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/new-latter-day-saintgeneral-board-members-named

(17) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/stories?lang=eng

(18) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/church-teachings?lang=eng

(19) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/who-am-i?lang=eng

(20) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/gods-plan?lang=eng

(21) “I must say, this son’s sexual orientation did not somehow miraculously change—no one assumed it would.” Holland, Jeffrey R. “Behold Thy Mother.” Oct. 2015 General Conference. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/behold-thymother?lang=eng

(22) “A change in attraction should not be expected or demanded as an outcome by parents or leaders.” https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/frequently-askedquestions?lang=eng

(23) Nick Einbender, Post on “Mormons Building Bridges,” Sep. 18, 2018. https://www.facebook.com/groups/mormonsbuildingbridges/permali nk/1513907792043410/

(24) Steinmetz, Katy. “How Many Americans Are Gay?” Time. May 16, 2016. http://time.com/lgbt-stats/

(25) It is likely a much larger percentage. In another study, 20% of Millennials (ages 18-34) self-identified as LGBTQ; 12% of Generation X (ages 35-53); 7% of the Baby Boomers (ages 52-71). The discrepancy likely arises from an increase in acceptance and safety in the culture the Millennials are growing up in. This makes them more likely to come out as LGBTQ. There are probably equal numbers throughout history, but it wasn’t as safe for older generations to come out for fear of violence, rejection, loss of job security, and loss of standing in the community. See Gonella, Catalina. NBC News. March 31, 2017. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/survey-20-percentmillennials-identify-lgbtq-n740791

(26) Eric D. Huntsman, “Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces: Making Room for Struggle as Well as Faith,” Aug. 7, 2018, BYU Speeches, https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/eric-d-huntsman_hard-sayings-andsafe-spaces-making-room-for-both-struggle-and-faith/

(27) “Questions and Answers.” BYU Speeches, Nov. 14, 2017. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/m-russell-ballard_questions-andanswers/

(28) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/love-one-another-adiscussion-on-same-sex-attraction

(29) Dr. Fatimah S. Salleh, Affirmation Conference, July 22, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyoXa9z76v0

#David Simmons #lgbt history month #lgbtq+ mormons #lgbtq+ lds #queerstake

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barbecuedphoenix · 7 years

Note

Say Gardienne had a bad life, wasn't close to her family, no real friends, etc. What would the boys do if she reacted to their little potion stunt with happiness instead of despair, since now she really doesn't need to return, with no one to miss her.

Well this is an interestingtwist. 0_0 It makes me wonder if this should have been canon. Because it caninstantly resolve the conflict on what to prioritize: a.) honoring theGuardian’s life in the human realm and avenging the injustice of her staying inEldarya, or b.) leaving her to discover her destiny in the faery realm, matureas a person, and build a new life, persona, and relationship there with noqualms.

Frankly, given that it’s adating sim with episodic updates and not a visual novel with aplotline determined in advance, the logical solution would be to focus onOption B entirely. Apologies to the Earth First! party in the fandom. >_>

So I’ll be happy to experimentwith this alternate plot-twist, Anon. ;)

Note: Below you’ll find amixture of in-game facts picked up from Youtube walkthroughs of Episode 13, andsome personal expansion (such as the way the potion works, laws governing itsuse, etc.) It’s headcanon, not canon. ;)

Note #2: For a full diatribe dissection on why I think an angsty Guardian accepting the potion willingly has a lot of potential for the game’s storyline, check out the analysis/extrapolation here. And feel free to leave your own thoughts. :)

Ezarel

What does he know about the Guardian’s past?

Only a little. From a fewpassing, deadpan references, he knows the Guardian has lost people close tothem. Yet he never bothered to ask further: these days, who hasn’t lost loved ones? And from the waythey carry themselves– straight-backed, matter-of-fact, and unfailinglyconsiderate to others (very Valkyon-esque, now that he thinks about it)–Ezarel is inclined to believe that he doesn’t have to worry about them. They’rea smart character with excellent control of their own emotions, and no need fortranquilizers to get to sleep. So as far as he’s concerned, he has no reason topry into their lives, professionally or personally. Let them keep theirsecrets.

How does he react to Miiko’s order to ensure the Guardiantakes the potion?

It feels like a nzmabe’s handhas reached into his gut, and is throttling it for all its un-life. Miiko can’tbe asking this from him. Though hewas responsible for some pretty horrific concoctions– explosives, acid baths,and corrosive lime mixtures for El’s never-ending war against the wilder fey–,this potion violates an entirely new set of ethical principles. She wants himto turn an ally into a living ghostas opposed to a traditionally dead one, without their knowledge or consent; tosever the cognitive and emotional bonds of a living community, again sansknowledge or consent. This course of action violates the basic autonomy of asentient mind and an individual identity; in a time of peace, it’s practicallyillegal.

Only Miiko is now exploitingthe pinpoint-sized loophole in the ancient laws of the land: if the drinker willingly participates in the creationof the potion, then they would have given their consent. Ezarel promptlycorrects her: ignorant consent doesn’t count as willing consent. And it’s thisprinciple– among others– that he’s prepared to defend with fire. In the backof his mind, he wonders what he once saw in his old colleague when he supportedher ascent to leader of the Guard.

Then it dawns on him thatMiiko is intent to see this through;if he declines to help, she’ll find someone else to goad the Guardian intopreparing the spell. Perhaps even an amateur alchemist armed with just lethalresolution… who might have no experience with a volatile reagent like theWaters of Lethe. One misstep won’t lead to just the erasure of their memoryfrom other humans, but faeries as well; a concentrated dose would even destroytheir own memories. And that’s an accident that Ezarel can’t allow to happen ingood conscience.

So he accepts this unsavorytask, with a bitter taste in his mouth. Never has he imagined applying hisskills for this when he took the helmof the Absynthe Guard. He can only hope that there won’t be a reprise withinhis career. And that no one else will learn of the crime he’s committing topreempt a deeper tragedy.

How will he react if the Guardian, on knowing the truthabout the potion, actually accepts it?

Ezarel will actually splutterfor a moment: don’t they understand the ramifications of this ritual? It’sbeyond alchemy: a potent spell encapsulated in a bottle that effects humanpsyches in a vast cascade across the energy network of emotions, feelings, andmemories that starts with them, and will permanently sever their sole link tothe human world. They’ll become a living ghost. They need to understand thatthis is a horrible idea.

But when they flatly tell him thatyes, they’re sure, Ezarel– still flabbergasted– starts to get ticked off: howcan they be so calm about this? Theremust be something critical they don’tunderstand. Hell, if he’s in their place and knows what’s about to happen,he’ll flat-out refuse. (And if he lost this fight, he’ll summon a lawman, andthen call up a trial no matter what for this technically illegal procedure.)

He starts energeticallyexplaining to them– again– why they should refuse, now going against Miiko’sorders. If it comes to it, he’ll even let them sue him for conspiring with that nutcase kitsune. But the Guardian cuts him off and tells him, with a wan expression, that he doesn’t knowa thing about the life they left behind. Becoming a ghost won’t be a tremendous change.

That finally shuts Ezarel up.And he starts to listen– still shocked, but intent onunderstanding this perplexing puzzle– to their life’s story. He learns aboutthe loss of their parents back when their age fell under two digits: one fromnatural causes, the other from government intervention when they proved apt at ignoring their child. Though by then, the damage was done to their hearing from an untreated infection in one ear, and their scalp from when they had to shave it from sequential lice infections. He listens to the cycle ofdisplacement, neglect, more secondhand abuse, and eventual abandonment thatplayed out over and again as they grew up, shunted arbitrarily through fosterhomes, and along the systems of welfare ostensibly made to help other cast-offslike them. He hears about them falling through the cracks in life when theygrew past the age when the city would look after them: their health tenuous,their finances worse, their higher education shelved. Still keeping that rovinglifestyle as they searched– on their own– for a place to stay and makesomething of themselves for anything more than six months. And he remainssilent as they explain the patterns of loss– in both figurative and literalsenses– for family, friends, and the people they could have called both, untilthey learnt to rely on no one, and expect nothing at all from the rest of theworld.

The telling takes over anhour. Ezarel has to get up twice to trim the wick from the nearby lamps, but hekeeps listening.

By the end of their story, hehas no words. Humans have very peculiar ways of causing misery to their ownbrethren. It’s a broad crime beyond anything that can be helped.

He doesn’t try to convincethem again when they break their silence, requesting the potion one more time. Thoughhe does make a half-hearted, half-joking final check on whether there’s any soulthey’re remotely sorry for leavingbehind. For liability’s sake. The way they smile wearily, and joke back thatthose they feel for probably half-forgot about them already, makes Ezarel wantto bite his tongue in half. This is definitelypast the time for jokes. The more he scratches the surface, the moresadness he’s bound to uncover. And he has no idea what he can do to help.Beyond giving the Guardian what they’ve asked for.

How will he help the Guardian with the potion?

So Ezarel offers a quiet apology, mentally kicks himself a second time for mouthing something soinadequate, then shuts up for good as he prepares the drink, with the scrupulousattention to detail that’s second nature for him once he walks into a lab. Heconducts a final check of the potion’s efficacy (exactly 0.005 moles of theessence of Lethe; they did well all right), pours it into a sterile tumbler,disposes of the rest of the batch to avoid misuse, and serves the tumbler tothem. And then retreats to the corner of the bench, keeping a respectful distance.

When they take the cup, he reelsoff an intensive, final explanation of the immediate and residual effects ofthe spell, as it ruthlessly sets out across the ether to eliminate theirpersonal signature from the collective network of thought and emotion. It’s anexplanation that he formerly intended to withhold from them; but now it’s theirright to know, and he has no fear of their reaction. When they thank him– witha minute smile– for his full disclosure, Ezarel shrugs it off with a lump ofunease in his throat and a faint joke: there are plenty of other things theycan thank him for in the near future; this potion isn’t his idea. But this is their decision, and their life from here on.

Still, he finds his fingertipstwitching and his eyes skittering down when they drain the cup in one quickswallow, like knocking back whiskey. Whether it’s from lingering guilt at thetotality of the Guardian’s departure from their world, or discomfort at theirdisturbing certainty, he can no longer tell.

Nevra

What does he know about the Guardian’s past?

Next to nothing, and thatrankles him a little: he’s not the head of El’s information network fornothing. But this Guardian is particularly canny in redirecting conversationsaway from their past, even when lubricated by faery wine and among friends. Sowhat information he has picked up camefrom observing their habits: their unspoken familiarity with locks, the waythey stick to the peripheries of a group conversation and scan a room like ahawk before even taking a foot inside, the peculiar times that they takeshowers, and how they never leave their food and drink away from their own eyes.All without the Shadow Guard quite training them.

They have a past, he can tell.And because of that, Nevra doesn’t dig more than usual; it’s information that’sbound to be sensitive, and warped with rumor if it comes from anyone else’s lips.The Guardian will need to trust him first before they can disclose their life’sstory to him.

How does he react to Miiko’s order to ensure the Guardiantakes the potion?

Nevra is very much against Miiko’s decision, and he doesn’t mince his wordswhen he tells her. She’s ordering them to invalidate a life that’s still beinglived– an innocent one of all things–, and sever nearly all their worldlyconnections without their knowledge or consent. She’s ordering them toreconfigure the minds of a hundred or more people unable to fight theirdecision, erasing what love and experiences are there, and embed a new truth inthem. He doesn’t know where her scruples are taking residence right now, but that is wrong. And that’s coming fromthe head of the Shadow Guard.

But here the constraints ofsaid position spring up to choke him. Nevra soon realizes that if he publiclyprotests the decision, and turns against it, what little unity is left in theGuard will be shaken. People will wonder if the Shadow Guard can be trusted tosupport El if its own chief defies orders from the top. His rivals vying forhis seat will finally find an excuse to band together and depose him, ensnaringhim on false charges against his loyalty to El. And if he loses the trial, he’llhave to leave El and the Guard. And bring Karenn with him back into thehinterland, because she will follow him anywhere, even fight viciously for him…and he’ll no longer be able to protect her in El’s toxic environment on stepping down.Provided that he isn’t arrested and excommunicated first.

To prevent all of that fromhappening, to prevent discord in the Guard and keep his own world from crashingdown… he’ll have to do the unthinkable and sacrifice the Guardian to appeasehis boss’s paranoia. Miiko points out– with unintentional malice– that he’s theone their problematic recruit trusts the most… and will suspect the least. He’ll have to help themprepare the ritual.

Nevra’s decision is clear. Buthe begins to withdraw from his social circles and even Karenn, losing sleepevery night until the day of reckoning. He’s no alchemist or sorcerer, but heknows enough about the potion’s effects to know this ritual is unequivocallywrong. With permanent consequences for a person who has done nothing to theGuard, except for being spotted by a hostile human once. And of all people, it’s someone whose affection and regard hewants to earn.

As much as his hands are tied,as real as the danger is to him and Karenn–and perhaps the rest of El– ondisobeying, Nevra knows he’s still a coward for following through.

How will he react if the Guardian, on knowing the truthabout the potion, actually accepts it?

Nevra is well and trulyshocked. For a disorienting moment, his anxiety from the past fewdays combusts in his stomach; he wonders if his lack of sleep is catching up tohim, and scrambling what his keen ears have picked up. But when the Guardianreiterates their decision, with a calm, wry smile, he has no choice but tobelieve them. Though with no small internal outcry: are they simply acceptingthis as inevitable?

So he assures them empatheticallythat they don’t have to accept this,that they’re under no obligation to follow through (like him). That he’lleven– the idea finally dawns on him, with the two of them alone in the lab– discardthis potion, destroy the papers, and falsify what happens here to Miiko, to letthem keep their own life. And to hell with the mercenaries on their way to El; ifthey have a faery spy here, then they’ll simply leak the Guardian’s existenceto the rebels again after this ritual is finished, and the conflict willcontinue. The Shadow Guard will find another way to head them off; they have his word. Butwhen the Guardian interrupts him with a sharp ‘no’, Nevra is stunned again:they don’t just want to disappear; they haveto disappear.

At last, they tell him abouttheir life before falling into Eldarya: the uneasy home they left at a youngage, where the averted eyes and ironclad silence allowed a relative to hurtthem with impunity, forcing them to hit the streets before they were old enoughto legally pick up a cigarette. The year of scrambling on their own, sleepingin their car even as frost bit their toes, until they found an older manwilling to shelter them, love them, refrain from judging them… and who convincedthem to help him with his ‘side job’. Just until they scraped together enoughmoney for a new start elsewhere. Which was how they learnt some of therequisite skills of the Shadow Guard: hitting the streets, parking lots, andcampuses, playing off the despair and the anxious physical needs that shackledcustomers, and not sparing the kids their age who were still in school. All fora new start that was pushed back to the murky future, month after month. Untilthe law caught up to them during one campus sting; with them unable to cough upthe money for a lawyer, and their lover and partner choosing that moment to letthem take the fall, they spent the next few years learning the life of ajuvenile inmate. They didn’t even have the satisfaction of watching karma taketheir old partner: on being released, they discovered their apartmentrepurposed, and their ex in a cell on the other side of the country… and a fewmonths from parole. They knew in their bones that he was going to track themdown to ‘reconcile’ and ‘help him get back on his feet’… with whatever thatmight entail. And, given their own dire financial straits and dearth of friendsafter being released, they’ll be hard-pressed to refuse his offer of another‘new start’. Falling through a mushroom ring was perhaps the best thing thathappened to them.

By the end of the Guardian’sstory, Nevra is left with only an urge to pull them into his arms. And he doesso. Because after everything he has just heard, he’s at a loss on what else hecan do. There are some marks and some lessons that can never be erased from alife. When the Guardian stiffens like wire in his arms, the salt smell of tearsreaching his nose, he promptly moves to shush them, to reassure them (or bothof them) that from now on, it will be all right. With him, they won’t ever have to worry. Andwhen they break into a laugh– half skeptical, half relieved– he finds himselfkissing them quiet along their hair, their eyes, and finally on their mouth,the way he had wanted to for months. And when their fingers dig into him, heobliges their need: letting them hold onto him tight as they kiss him back.

How will he help the Guardian with the potion?

Only after the tension fullyleaves the Guardian in his arms does Nevra recall he still has an unenviablejob to do in this room. Though now the situation has been flipped onto itshead. At last, he confesses his own reasons for coaxing them into crafting thepotion, and then drinking it: trading one truth for another, suddenly afraidthat they’ll question why he was involved in this sordid business at all. Because thelast thing he wants is to be seen as another treacherous man in their life.

But the Guardian surprises himagain by forgiving him, pressing a tiny kiss to the corner of his jaw, andjoking about how they’re now doubly concerned with taking the potion to savehis job. Nevra has to shut his good eye to keep the lump in his throat fromescaping, tightening his arms around them as relief snaps the tension windinghis body like a spring for days.

When they finally move to thepotion on the lab bench, he doesn’t quite let the Guardian go. Instead, hepours the flask with one arm still looped around them, then steadies their handand the small of their back as they accept the tumbler, holding them close. Ifthey’re going to do this, they’ll finish it together.

But when they raise the cup ina wry toast, and drain it, Nevra has to press his mouth to their temple, unableto watch them swallow the drink. Instead, he breathes in the smell of theirhair, distracting himself from that deep foreboding in his chest at theinvisible forces he knows are now unleashed, erasing the Guardian in his armsfrom the lives of a hundred or more. For good and ill.

Valkyon

What does he know about the Guardian’s past?

Valkyon doesn’t know a thing,and frankly, he suspects that he knows the least out of everyone in HQ: it’shard to miss the way the Guardian clams up around him whenever they fumble an assignment. Even though he already told them– on the day of their first panicattack in front of the ocean, and other occasions since– that he’ll neverjudge them for admitting their own weaknesses, that acknowledging them isalready a mark of bravery in his eyes. Still, some habits and some fears rundeep; Valkyon knows better than to sit his recruit down and ask what made themthis way. The Guardian will tell him on their own time, and only then.

How does he react to Miiko’s order to ensure the Guardiantakes the potion?

His instincts are singing thatthis is not a good idea in theslightest. The Guardian won’t forgive such a profound violation of their trust,and their own right to maintain their identity and roots. But then, thequestion occurs to him on what will happen if he lets this pot bubble under asealed lid. How long will it take for those human mercenaries to storm HQ–again– and make off with the Guardian on their ill-advised rescue mission? Howmany casualties will they leave behind this time? The fort is understaffed asit is. It doesn’t take Valkyon long to run through calculations, using theestimates from last year on the enemy force’s numbers as well as what he haswitnessed on the field recently… and the final sum of every scenario is a much emptier fort. It’ll be a messy raid, no question.

He will be failing his ownduties as the Obsidian Guard’s commander if he allows this metaphorical powderkeg to remain in HQ. Not unless he snuffs out the fuse and curtails the comingconfrontation that he has overheard with his own ears… using a very esotericpotion.

If those mercenaries only knewabout the Guardian by hearsay, then the potion is a moot point. Butone of the rebels had described them with enough disturbing detail to count asfirsthand knowledge. And that, unfortunately, meant his recruit had todisappear.

So Valkyon gives his assent,the only one of the three Guard heads to do so from the onset. All whilelocking down the doubts and the objections stirring in his chest, with thatsteely will that has earned him a local reputation of ‘Last Man to Be Trifled With’. To prevent another carnage, and tosave the Guardian, this has to be done. In fact, he’ll do the deed himself,to spare his colleagues from both the Guardian’s anger and the moral burden.

How will he react if the Guardian, on knowing the truthabout the potion, actually accepts it?

At first, Valkyon feels a hardweight plunge through his gut as the veil of secrecy– his one shield from theGuardian’s moral outrage– is stripped away within six words: they know, and they’llaccept it. Another few moments pass before his mind registers the second halfof their answer. And then he is fully thrown for the loop, at a genuine lossfor words: this is not part of the plan. Though logic tells him that theGuardian’s knowing consent is a favorabledevelopment– because it means no resistance or worrisome grudges from hisrecruit; a clean procedure by both legal and ethical standards–, a seam in hisheart finally starts to tear, now that the armor he has girdled his conscience with has been broken. And he begins to wonder if he wants to go through with this.

They read his hesitationbefore he can voice it: gently, with a sad smile that tugs him again out of thesoldier’s mien, they tell him that they would be glad to disappear, and finallyremove the burdens that they’ve saddled their acquaintances with for themajority of their life. It’s high time their old friends let go of them. And this revelationshocks Valkyon for a second time, finally sparking a question from him, soft and astonished: why? Though he knows regret only too well, it’s another matterentirely to want to vanish from the sphere of loved ones.

At last, in a voice so soft hehas to strain his ears to catch the fall of their words, the Guardian tells him their story. Starting with the accident that took the lives of their father– theironly family– and a stranger on a highway. Sparing, with a certain black irony, only theperpetrator of the crash: themselves.

When the Guardian’s voicebreaks at the first mention of their father in who knows how many years,Valkyon stops them, grasping them gently by the elbows to bring them back tothe present, assuring them that they needn’t tell him anymore. But they shaketheir head, lining their voice with iron, and insist that they need to tellthis story now before wiping the slateclean; this is their final chance to own up to everything.

So he lapses into silenceagain, and lets them; honoring their need to redeem what they can, to crackopen the shell they had built around themselves, and share the narrative theyonce considered criminal, or still do.

They tell him about the dark years after the court hearing when grief and guilt worked in concert to sheathe them from the rest of the world, from any emotion at all besides sudden, precipitous drops into despair. The downhill slide from school, work, friends, and what peripheral family they had left, until they found themselves hooked onto sleeping pills and hard liquor, living in a rehabilitation center. Where they were kept afloat by the efforts of a persistent social worker, and the generosity of a grandmother with some conscience– who routinely visited to implore them to wake up and get their spine back, because it was expensive keeping them in the center. And when her predictions were realized and the money ran out within a few months, they re-entered the working world– just weaned of their vices but still not quite healed–, resorting to lonely midnight-shifts at the back of restaurants and convenience stores. At least part of which was motivated by the need to dodge a few loyal friends, colleagues, and teachers still searching for them. Their only company during those days was the social worker from the rehab center, who stopped at their dingy hostel to check on them once a week, paying for lunch and a coffee, and for an hour taking them away from the other young burn-outs who lived with them. That was the narrative of their life until the day they pulled themselves together to embark on their first hike in years. Granted, they never expected to disappear the way they did, but this potion would be a boon in the long run: one more burden off the lives of the people who still remember them.

Their voice has barely risen above a conversational whisper. But the force of their grief,and the lingering guilt, seems to pull Valkyon lower to the floor the more he hears. Until at last, when they fall silent themselves, he reachesforward– in a gesture so natural that he doesn’t give it a second thought– andgently wipes what tears have escaped with the edge of his thumb, their cheekresting in the warm cup of his palm. Which, ironically, seems to spill more; what’sleft of their stoic mask cracks, and they hold his hand against their cheekuntil the fitful trembling of their shoulders stops.

How will he help the Guardian with the potion?

Valkyon doesn’t dare speakuntil the shivering leaves them, though he doesn’t move his hand away either. In a low murmur, for their ears only, he shares the lesson that he himself learnt: no amount of sorrow or guilt canjustify the past, or cheapen it. What has happened has happened, regardless. So what matters most is to correct oneself and one’s actions today to prevent areprise of their regrets. And from what he has seen since they arrived here,they’ve proven themselves to be a pillar of strength. Even if they don’t quitesee themselves the same way.

When the Guardian squeezes hishand and kisses his palm, their smile still tremulous, his mind promptly takes asnapshot of this moment, then locks it away inside the vault of his memories. Onlythen does he return, reluctantly, to the task at hand, which he has beenordered to see through by whatever means necessary. Though now, with a willingparticipant, he can freely speak his mind to comfort them on the sacrificethey’re prepared to make.

The effects of the potion arepermanent, he reminds the Guardian gravely; there is no known counter-spell.From here on, only Eldarya will be their home. But if it’s any comfort, theones they love best– both passed and extant– will never leave their memories; they’ll always beimprinted in the way they speak, the way they carry themselves, the decisionsthat their heart makes to be moved or otherwise by the world around them. Theirloved ones from before have contributed the most to making who they are today. That’san intrinsic truth that this ritual– or any ritual– can never change.

When the Guardian finallyreleases his hand, it’s only to switch it to their palm. And he lets them holdonto him, their fingers laced tight through his, as they accept the flask passed to them, smile at him gently over therim, and tip it back. Valkyon doesn’t allow himself to look away: it would onlydemean the responsibility he has undertaken, and the total sacrifice that theyhave accepted.

It’s only afterwards that herealizes that the Guardian isn’t holding his hand to comfort themselves, but tocomfort him.

…I think I went over my writing cap for angst-per-page. It’s all your fault, Anon, for sending such a weightyrequest. ;)

If you enjoyed this three-partscenario, and even if you didn’t (which I won’t blame you for), drop me amessage and let me know what you think. My inbox is never closed to feedback. :)

#request #scenario #Eldarya #Ezarel #Nevra #Valkyon #innocent! Guardian #mysterious! Guardian #shy! Guardian #Episode 13 spoilers

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illustir · 4 years

Text

Highlights for Peaceful Parent Happy Kids

Despite the popular idea that we need to “express” our anger so that it doesn’t eat away at us, research shows that expressing anger while we are angry actually makes us more angry. This in turn makes the other person hurt, afraid, or angry, and causes a rift in the relationship. Rehashing the situation in our mind always proves to us that we’re right and the other person is wrong, which again makes us more angry as we stew. What works is to calm down, and then find a constructive way to address whatever is making us angry so that the situation is resolved, and our anger stops being triggered.

The real job is keeping your cup full so you have plenty of joy and presence to share with your child.

Parenting is about nurturing your child, which means noticing what she needs and trying to make sure she gets it. You are, after all, the grown-up. But we can be peaceful parents only to the degree that we “parent” ourselves.

Children freely, even enthusiastically, cooperate when they believe that we’re on their side. When they don’t have that belief deep in their bones, our standards of behavior seem unfair, contradicting what they perceive as their own best interests, whether that’s taking the biggest piece of cake or lying to us.

The happy news is that as you come to terms with your own childhood story, you subtly change your emotional availability to your child, and your child blossoms accordingly, whether she’s an infant or a nine-year-old.

In relationships, without quantity, there’s no quality. You can’t expect a good relationship with your daughter if you spend all your time at work and she spends all her time with friends, screens, or the sitter. So as hard as it is with the pressures of jobs and daily life, if we want a better relationship with our children, we have to free up the time—daily—to make closeness happen.

Every child benefits from Special Time to reconnect with each parent often, if possible every day. Think of it as preventive maintenance to keep things on track in your family. And if you’re having issues with your

Every difficulty is an opportunity to get closer, as you extend understanding and your child feels truly seen, heard, and accepted.

Children need to know deep in their bones that their parents adore them and take delight in their company.

Remember, getting dressed is your priority, not his. Your presence is what motivates him.

To parents, bedtime is the time they finally get to separate from their children and have a little time to themselves. To children, bedtime is the time they’re forced to separate from their parents and lie in the dark by themselves. On top of that, children are exhausted and wound up, and parents are exhausted and fed up.

This isn’t about you right now, and your being upset won’t help. In fact, no matter what your child is talking about, you can process it later.

It may seem impossible, but if we feel the slightest glimmer of desire to turn things around, we can grab it. We don’t even have to know how. We can just choose love. We can always find a way to reach out to our child and reconnect. We can always find a way to heal things, even when we’re in a cycle of negativity that’s gone too far.

By contrast, when we think of ourselves as coaches, we know that all we have is influence—so we work hard to stay respected and connected, so our child wants to “follow” us.

What Empathy Isn’t

But before you can correct, you have to connect.

To know that their parents adore them, love to care for them, and care about their happiness. (Worthiness, security, self-esteem) To feel truly seen, known, accepted, and appreciated—even the “shameful” parts like anger, jealousy, pettiness, and greed. (Unconditional love) To stay connected with each parent through regular relaxed, playful, unstructured, affirming time together. (Intimacy, belonging) To work through challenging daily emotions. (Emotional wholeness, self-acceptance) To master new skills. (Mastery, independence, confidence) To act from one’s own motivations to impact the world. (Self-determination, power) To make a contribution. (Value, meaning)

Acknowledge your child’s perspective and empathize.

Allow expression of emotion, even while limiting actions.

Respond to the needs and feelings behind problem behavior.

When a desire can’t be granted, acknowledge it and grant it through “wish fulfillment.”

Tell the story so your child understands his emotional experience.

Teach problem solving.

Play it out.

Look him in the eye. Stay calm. He will either go blank (numbing himself), look away in shame, or look straight at you in defiance. Regardless, reach out for him.

We’ve absorbed the misguided view that children will be disobedient and manipulative unless we force them to “behave.”

Authoritarian parenting keeps children in a state of stress, worried about the next punishment (which may explain why kids who are spanked have lower IQs5).

But it does mean that babyproofing is better than trying to teach limits at this age.

Until your child has a chance to be heard, those feelings will be looking to spill out, disconnecting her, driving misbehavior and keeping her from being her usual sunny self. That’s why the single best thing you can do for your preschooler is to prioritize reconnecting with her when you’re reunited at the end of the day.

This parenting approach tends to raise kids who are self-centered, anxious, and not very resilient.

Authoritative. The final parenting style is the one that Baumrind’s research showed raises the best-adjusted kids. Her authoritative—as opposed to authoritarian—parents offer their children lots of love and support, like the permissive parents. But they also hold high expectations, like the authoritarian parents. Age-appropriate expectations, of course—they aren’t expecting a three-year-old to clean up her room by herself. But they may well be working with that three-year-old to help her clean up, over and over and over, so that by six she really can clean up her room herself. These parents are involved—even demanding. They expect family dinners, lots of discussion straight through high school, good grades, responsible behavior. But they also offer their children complete support to learn how to achieve these expectations. Importantly, these parents aren’t controlling like the authoritarian parents. They listen to the child’s side of things, they make compromises, and they cede control where possible. Their kids, not surprisingly, stay close to them—they often describe one of their parents as the person they would most trust to talk to about a problem. These kids usually do well in school, and they’re also the ones that teachers describe as responsible and well liked, simply nice kids who are a pleasure to have around.

Every child who has a sibling needs daily private time to bond with each parent.

We’re inviting him in, so that he’s part of the solution. He may have done a monstrous thing, but we’re communicating to him that he isn’t a monster. This is the foundation of his being able to face that he did something that crossed a line—and to forgive himself. It starts with our forgiving him.

Mastery isn’t a one-time feeling. It’s a way of approaching experience that through repetition becomes an acquired trait, a way of living life. It describes a person who loves to explore, learn, grow, apply himself, practice, master something, take joy in the whole creative process whether he “succeeds” or “fails” in the eyes of others, and move on to his next goal.

Every child is born with latent talent. Any child who enjoys the process of mastery has the internal motivation to polish his natural abilities to achieve—as long as the achievement he’s aiming for matters to him.

What might we say? “You really like doing that puzzle. . . . It’s the first one you took out again today.” (Empathize with his feelings.) “You’re trying all the different pieces to see what fits in that spot.” (Notice what he’s doing, which helps him feel seen and valued. In this case, we’re also articulating the strategy we see him using, which helps him be more conscious of what he’s doing, so he can evaluate whether this particular strategy is effective.) “I love doing puzzles with you!” (Communicate your enjoyment of sharing a task or project with him.) “It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But you’ve almost got it!” (Effective encouragement. By contrast, if we show him, we imply that he can’t figure it out for himself, which lessens his self-confidence.) “You did it! You got all the pieces to fit! You must be so proud of yourself!” (We’re mirroring his joy in his accomplishment, but notice we’re not telling him we’re proud of him, which implies that pride in him is something we can also withhold. Instead, we empower him by acknowledging that pride in himself is his, something he can take action to create.)

Blame is simply anger looking for a target, and it never helps us toward a solution.

The truth is, we always have more responsibility than we’d like to admit. And the more responsibility you take, the less defensive your child feels, so the more responsibility she’s likely to take in her own mind and, eventually, aloud.

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Psychology Mind Map

Mind mapping is the brain-based psychology of interacting with other people. It’s the brain’s ability to make a mental map of another person’s mind. Mind mapping is an intuitive process, and it satisfies our inherent desire to figure out other people. Whenever you interact with people, your brain automatically creates mental pictures of their minds. What does he want? What is she like? Is he smart? Why is he looking at me, or not looking at me? Can I trust her? Should I be afraid of this person? Is he sexually attracted to me? Is she enjoying my presence? Does he think he’s superior to me? It then looks at these pictures and makes inferences about them. Then your brain uses these attributions to predict what other people are going to do and adjusts your agendas and behaviours accordingly. First and foremost, mind mapping is about predicting other people’s behaviour, whether it’s a stranger, or someone you interact with regularly, like a boss or co-worker, or personally, like a child, spouse, or parent. For example, if you’re walking towards someone on the street, you observe their clothes, their gait, where they’re looking, and their expression, paying particular attention to their eyes and mouth. You start attributing a personality to them. And within seconds you’ve gleaned enough information to determine if you’re going to keep your head down and ignore them, to avoid something unpleasant, or meet their gaze in anticipation of a friendly smile.

mind mapping psychology

Mind mapping is an intrinsic part of being human, and quickly develops in children. Signs of mind mapping emerge soon after birth. Babies begin sharing eye contact (“mutual gaze”) with caretakers when they’re 3 months old. Another shared experience is directing their parents’ attention toward objects that interest them (“declarative pointing”). By 18 months, babies can follow someone’s attention to objects outside their own visual field, such as monitoring the eyes of someone seeing an object hidden behind a screen. In other words, by this age a baby can track something in another person’s mind. From this point until they’re about 4 years old, children demonstrate “implicit” mind mapping ability, meaning they clearly have mind mapping ability, but lack the verbal skills to reliably demonstrate it. As children’s verbal skills improve, they demonstrate “explicit’ mind mapping ability. Around the age of 4, children can understand that what people do is directly connected to what’s in their minds. They know that, if they can figure out what’s going on in your head, they can predict what you’re going to do. 4 year olds have enough mind mapping ability to detect lying and false beliefs, and from that can determine if someone is trustworthy or worthy of respect, and if and how they can be manipulated to get what they want. Around age 11, a child’s mind mapping ability reorganizes into adult form, allowing the child to understand sexual motivations and complex social interactions. They can detect if you’re not being completely honest with them. Teenager’s disrespect toward their parents often stems from disappointment seeing how their parents lie and act blind to themselves.

Knowing how early mind mapping abilities develop, it’s not surprising how early children shape stories about people and the world around them, based on what they mind map in parents, caregivers, siblings, and other influential people around them. And these early neural pathways develop a large core of how we interact with others later in life, whether we tend to be open, assuming others are generally loving, or tend be closed, assuming others are generally manipulative and/or not trustworthy. The primary purpose of mind mapping isn’t to facilitate bonding, it’s about survival. Growing up in an unstable environment with poor or less than nurturing parenting, often produces excellent mind mappers. For example, if someone grows up with a father who goes from calm to violently angry in seconds, they’re going to hone their mind mapping abilities to improve their chances of predicting when he might blow. Or if mother is an alcoholic, they’re going to map her all the time to identify triggers that push her to drink, so that they can steer her away from them.

Another level of mind mapping, involves mind masking, which is the ability to screen your mind from other people, making it more difficult for them to accurately and rapidly detect your inner mental states. This could involve shielding what you actually want, know, think, feel or believe. Mind masking always entails some degree of deception, but that doesn’t mean that it’s always antisocial. There are times where mind masking facilitates positive intent, like waiting for a private moment to share bad news with your partner, or avoiding controversial topics at the family gathering, or ignoring a dangerous-looking stranger trying to get your attention.

In adult love relationships, mind masking is a fact of life. We often present ourselves to others as we would like to be seen, which often differs from who we really are, as a way to manage our fear of rejection. But of course, continued mind masking is going to get in the way of real intimacy. Detecting when your partner masks his/her mind is particularly important if you’re in a committed relationship. Mind masking frequently occurs when couples experience serious difficulties that could destabilize their relationship, like medical or financial issues, or infidelity, by putting on a “happy face” to hide their anxieties. Mind masking often leads to suspicion and insecurity. Couples often become so enmeshed in mind masking, it creates an emotional gridlock in which neither partner reveals his or her mind, and both partners are suspicious.

When mind maskers are confronted or questioned they’ll often deflect, respond with a question, steer the conversation a different direction, or in some other way skirt around the question without ever giving a clear answer. Really good mind maskers will hide the fact that they’re masking in a variety of ways, such as:

Substituting false content

Not tampering with more of the truth than necessary

Appearing to be forthcoming, even eager to comply

Showing a picture of their mind they know people want or expect to see

Creating plausible deniability

Taking umbrage when they’re caught withholding important information

Talking obliquely or abstractly and glossing over details

Being convincing or confusing, and not necessarily accurate

Knowing these techniques can help you identify when someone is mind masking in your presence.

As troubled homes create highly skilled mind mappers, so too they create highly skilled mind maskers. If you’re growing up in an unstable household with irresponsible, untrustworthy parents, you get good at mind masking out of necessity. You learn to map other people while looking like you’re not paying attention to them. Mind masking, like mind mapping, is a survival skill. Dysfunctional families will often demand that family members maintain a positive facade in public, hiding the mayhem happening at home. Mind masking becomes second nature. When you grow up in a household that is loving, and nurturing, there’s less incentive to develop mind masking ability because you don’t feel compelled to guard your back at all times.

How well do you mind map those around you? How well do you know yourself? Partners, children, and others can often see us where we may be blind to ourselves. How often are you pretending, being deceptive, or in some other way masking your mind? How might that be impacting your relationships?

For more information on mind mapping and mind masking, as well traumatic mind mapping, read “Brain Talk: How mind mapping brain science can change your life and everyone in it” by Dr. David Schnarch.

Shari Derksen, MA, is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists and specializes in the areas of relationship issues and intimacy, as well as many others. For more information on Shari, her work, or other articles she’s written for Living Well click here to link to her full bio page.

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