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danaewrites · 8 months

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you with the dark curls (you with the watercolor eyes)

part i: and while you were asleep, i was surely awake

james potter x reader // read it on AO3

word count: 2.8k

summary: “Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.”

tags: best friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, based on the song "dear arkansas daughter" by lady lamb, fem!reader

author's notes: hii y'all, sorry for not posting in a year :P my only excuse is that i didn't feel like taking the energy to actually write out my story ideas. also perfectionism. anyway i somehow wrote this in two hours while procrastinating my college app essays and have plans to make this a multi-chapter fic despite intending to write an angsty oneshot request for a completely different fandom (i see you, beloved anons, and i raise you this completely unrelated fic <3)… the brain of a writer works in mysterious ways.

read it all here: part i, part ii, part iii (coming soon!)

You were in love with James Potter.

It was a fact of life, just like how the sky was blue, or that his favorite dessert was treacle tart, or that you were the only person he’d ever let see him cry besides his mother. You’d loved him from the moment you met him on the train to Hogwarts as a shy, anxious muggleborn unsure of the new world of magic and prejudice you’d been thrown into without so much as a warning. He hadn’t cared at all about your blood status- didn’t even think to ask about it. He had launched himself into your compartment and began talking at you a mile a minute, beaming with every tooth showing once he found out you were hoping to get into Gryffindor, his hazel eyes alight with the joy of making a new friend. And friends indeed you had become; you were proud to remember that you’d known him before Sirius or Remus or Peter did, though it took only an instant after the Sorting for him to become best mates with the rest of them, too.

You and James were inseparable from that moment on, giggling at Professor Binns’ failure to notice Sirius’ antics in the back of class and reassuring each other when home seemed too far away for comfort. He stole sweets from the Slytherin table for you at meals, and you covered for him when the teachers almost caught him pranking Snape– after all, who would believe that sweet, innocent Y/n would ever be involved in such shenanigans? The soft-spoken demeanor and love of everything pastel you’d thought would eventually oust you from the close-knit Gryffindor boys’ group proved to be quite the useful asset when affirming their ‘innocence’.

Not that they only wanted you around because you were helpful, of course. You had quite the talent for exaggerating stories until even Sirius fell off his seat laughing in disbelief, and your creative mind made for some glorious pranks and entertaining mistakes. Peter would blush for an hour straight if anyone mentioned The Great Plum Pudding Incident of Christmas 1974, all thanks to your clever meddling. And Remus– well, he was eternally grateful for your mother-henning during the worst of his moon cycles. You’d been the first to figure out his “furry little problem”, and upon learning that enjoying chocolate was his favorite method of escapism, showed up every month without fail with an armful of Honeydukes sweets. The little ways in which you loved each Marauder meant the world to them. They would do anything to protect you and make sure you were okay, James most of all. You often teased James that he was more bodyguard than friend, with his deep glares at too-forward Hufflepuff boys masking the big softie you knew he was underneath. You remembered fondly the summer days he spent chasing you around your house, scaring your mother half to death with his colander-and-pot ‘armor’ as he declared that as a chivalrous knight, he was meant to save Princess Y/n from the terrible Acromantula King. Privately, you thought James had a few too many Arthurian legends for bedtime stories as a child, but what could you do?

Even now, as sixth years, the bond between you and James never changed, your love for him ever-growing. Your heart melted every time you glanced over your shoulder in the hallway, only to find him chatting softly with a sniffling first-year and guiding them to Professor Sprout’s office for a hot cuppa and a biscuit. You cheered at his Quidditch victories and were euphorically lifted up onto his broad shoulders afterward, whooping as he galavanted through the common room in celebration. You were there when he needed a shoulder to cry on when his grandfather died, softly stroking his hair as he fell asleep in your lap with tear tracks still running down his face. And he adored you in return– braiding your hair while you worked on Herbology essays, racing you on his beloved broom when you stayed with him during the summer, distracting you from your rants about Slughorn’s unfair grading with a trip to the kitchens and a blissfully soft blanket.

James was your lifeline and you his– and nothing in the world could change that.

Except, perhaps, one tiny little complication. A complication with vibrant red hair, sparkling green eyes, and a natural affinity for Potions. A complication that had sparked your jealousy since the first time you noticed James glancing dreamily at Lily Evans in second year Transfiguration, jealousy that had only gotten worse with his grand declarations of love every week. He’d begun to announce his affection for the muggleborn to anyone who would listen in third year, and it didn’t stop there. No, when James Potter loved someone, he loved hard, and that meant that you had to watch as beautiful bouquets appeared on Lily’s nightstand nightly while the rest of the girls in your dorm whispered and swooned. You were a wallflower when he sighed about how lovely her skin was and how bloody talented she was at everything she did during one of your late-night chats in the common room, curling in on yourself with every word he spoke. When he asked her to Hogsmeade the first time (and the second, and the third, and the fiftieth), you observed as she rolled her eyes and shoved past him, despite the small smile on her face.

It wasn’t that Lily wasn’t smart or pretty or talented– far from it. She deserved every good Potions grade she got, and even the pureblood Slytherins begrudgingly noted how she was the darling of Hogwarts society. But you thought that the way she treated your best friend, refusing his advances quite harshly but sending him flirtatious glances and making a show of wearing his flowers in her hair, was rather unkind and misleading. She had James wrapped around her little finger and didn’t seem to want to let go of his attention anytime soon, despite Snape’s protests about how much time he was spending with her. You disliked Severus, but didn’t think he deserved Lily’s bad treatment either. Sometimes you’d see him staring at James and Lily deep in conversation, and shoot him a glance of communal disappointment– before realizing who you were sharing the moment with and resuming an expression of disgust, at least.

At first, you ignored your growing angst about his new obsession, chalking it up to sleep deprivation, stress over your upcoming exams, and even your monthly. But when you started to run out of excuses for the despair slowly overtaking your heart and flashes of his dark curls began to appear in your sweetest dreams, you were forced to admit that your feelings for James ran much deeper than a platonic friendship. From the way he spun you around in the snow to the way he snorted at Remus’ awful puns, you were head-over-heels smitten with your best friend.

The way he’d filled out since the end of fourth year hadn’t escaped your notice, either; you were pretty sure that his pecs should be considered a traffic hazard, with the way you’d fallen flat on your face after seeing him shirtless after a match. He’d rushed over to clean up every one of your injuries, of course, with a touch so gentle it released a whole menagerie of butterflies in your stomach. You’d barely managed to mumble a coherent thank-you before sprinting to take a very cold shower and scream into your pillow with embarrassment. How on earth did Lily Evans even think around him?!

Alas, you’d read your fair share of romance novels, and you knew how this story would end. Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.

That was the state Sirius found you in, broody and lost in thought in a quiet corner of the library. He grinned rakishly, planting a well-polished boot on a nearby chair and leaning over to tap your forehead. “Lots going on in there today, huh?”

You snapped out of your daze and smiled sheepishly up at him. “Sorry, Siri, didn’t mean to ignore you. Just, er, thinking about my Potions essay, do you know how many uses there are for mandelwort? Quite fascinating plants, hones–”

Sirius winced and slid back far across the table. “Oh, no, you are not discussing horrid Potions work with me today when there are so many other wonderful topics.” He gestured to a table of swooning fifth-years gazing dreamily at his backside. “For example, those lovely ladies,” he crooned, sending an exaggerated wink towards them and smirking when they sighed.

You wrinkled your nose and scoffed. “Oh, please, as if I haven’t heard enough about your conquests already. I’m already scarred for life from your stories about that Belgium Veela, let alone the muggle sailor you nearly broke the Statute of Secrecy for.”

He waved a hand, dismissing your allegations of the mental injury caused by his excruciating attention to sordid detail when slightly tipsy in the common room. You made a mental note to charm his shampoo to turn his hair bright lavender for the next week for that little snub. Although, being Sirius, he’d probably just use it as an excuse to sway the rest of the Hogwarts population into going to Hogsmeade with him. “Ah, but darling Y/n, that’s what I’m here for!” He furrowed his brow and stroked his chin in mock consideration. “However, I can’t seem to recall a time when you–” here he poked you in the cheek for emphasis– “confessed to a little tete-a-tete in the hallway. Ever. Which means we have a problem,” he grinned.

You felt rather like prey being hunted for sport. “That would be because I’m not interested in anyone, you dolt!” Crossing your arms, you turned your face back towards your homework. Maybe if you denied romantic interest for long enough, Sirius would leave you alone and go flounce off to flirt with the noisy table of fourth years. “Anyway, I heard Marlene’s been circling Dorcas like a lovesick pigeon lately, so perhaps you should be putting your matchmaking efforts to her benefit instead.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “C’mon doll, I know you weren’t actually thinking about Potions when I arrived. Who’s the lead actor in those fantasies, mm?” He snatched up your favorite pink gel pen, twirling around his fingers as he looked at you expectantly.

Drat. He wouldn’t be so easily distracted with the latest gossip. You opened your mouth to protest yet again when you caught a flash of red over Sirius’ artfully tousled locks. You watched as James strode up to the alcove where Lily and her friends were studying, transfigured a sheet of parchment into a butterfly clip and held it out to her with a grin. Her laughter pealed out through the library as she let him lean over her shoulder to place it in her hair. He seemed oblivious to the titters of the girls around him while he gazed at Lily adoringly. You felt your heart clench as you recognized the expression on his face; you’d seen it on your own in the mirror after spending time with James, after all. And it seemed like maybe Lily was finally starting to be swayed into accepting his starry-eyed proposals, if the pretty blush on her cheeks was anything to go by.

Sirius tracked your despairing gaze to the couple and immediately paled in realization. “Oh, shit.”

Shit, indeed. Your face turned bright red as you scrambled to pack your bag and leave the area as fast as you possibly could, not sure how you could face Sirius knowing your deepest secret now. The boy had no self-control, fueling the Hogwarts gossip mill with the wild stories he overheard, and he had even less discretion when confessing things to his friends around the common room fire. It’s no wonder he wound up in Gryffindor, you thought miserably. There’s no way he’d be able to keep a secret like the rest of the Slytherins, and definitely not from James. It would only be a matter of time before he let it slip about your feelings to the rest of the Marauders, and— well, you’d just have to face losing your best friend for good once he heard.

Sirius broke your train of thought by wrapping his hands around yours, looking up at you with concern. “Hey, doll, wait— I didn’t know—“

You sniffed and wiped the tears threatening to fall from your eyes away fiercely. “That’s exactly it, Sirius, you didn’t know because you won’t be able to keep it from James.”

He looked guiltily down at the table. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a bit of a git with keeping things private lately, yeah?”

You nodded, covering your face with your hands. Sirius reached out, placing them back down on the table, and softly said, “Listen, I shouldn’t have pried so hard. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” He broke off, pausing to scramble for a handkerchief from his bag to wipe off your rapidly disintegrating mascara. “And I promise not to breathe a word of this to James,” he finished.

You looked up at him, startled. “Are you serious?” At his answering grin, you groaned. “Don’t answer that. But really, are you sure that you’ll be able to resist telling him everything?” You fiddled with the now-soiled handkerchief and whispered, “You two are so close, I don’t want to drive you apart. If James thought you were hiding something important from him, it would destroy him,” you sniffed.

He frowned. “Doll, you know you’re just as important as James is to me, right?” At your answering slump, his jaw clenched and he continued on with more intensity. “You’re like my sister, Y/n, there’s nothing you could do to make me care for you less. Especially not asking for your privacy. Clearly, I haven’t been treating you as well as you deserve if you doubt that.”

He walked around and took a seat in the armchair next to you, pulling you in to lean on his shoulder. “And I can be discreet, you know. I might not show it often, but growing up in a family of the most intensely secretive purebloods ever to exist taught me a few things.” You glanced at him doubtfully, the tiny quirk of your mouth the only sign that you were joking. “Hey, I’m being serious!” He laughed, then quieted suddenly. “This thing with James— you really love him, don’t you?”

You gave him an exasperated look out of the corner of your eye. Sirius released a breath and gazed deeply into the space in front of him. “Hey, we’ll figure this out together, okay?” He poked you in the side. “If he’s too focused on the smell of Evans’ hair or whatever to see that he already has the perfect girl in front of him, he’s not as smart as you think he is.” You giggled slightly, his words warming you. Sirius smiled, happy to see you cheering up a bit.

“Why don’t we go raid the kitchens? The coolest person I know once told me that elf-crafted mint chocolate chip ice cream is the best way to heal a broken heart,” he teased. You groaned, remembering how you’d told him that as a last resort to get him to stop complaining about how he missed his sailor ex-boyfriend every time you two went to Hogsmeade. At least your random advice wound up benefiting you now, you thought as you collected the last of your stationery and exited the library.

Neither you nor Sirius saw how James watched you smile up at Sirius as you walked away, holding his arm and laughing loudly at something he muttered. Anna Dumotier, a Hufflepuff fifth-year and one of Lily’s friends, would remember later that night how he seemed to tune out Lily’s voice for a moment and stared at the doors to the library with a strange expression on his face. His brows were furrowed like he was trying to decipher the answer to an unfamiliar puzzle, his eyes widened with confusion and a glint of something she could only identify as jealousy before Lily brought him back to the conversation with a graceful flip of her hair. But no— she shook her head— that couldn’t be right. What could James possibly be jealous of when he finally had the girl of his dreams in his arms?

taglist: @magpiencrow @that-kid143 @lilly-aliyah @itmustbegreattobecalledtheitgirl

comment if you'd like to be tagged for any of my works/fandoms in the future! :)

read on: part ii

#james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #sirius black #bisexual sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #fem reader #best friends to lovers #friends to lovers #marauders #marauders x y/n #lily evans #harry potter #hp fandom

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gamesception · 4 months

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Sception Reads Cass Cain #32

Batgirl (2000) #14 writer: Puckett pencils: Scott

Different inker this time, John Lowe instead of Campanella. I'm not enough of a connoisseur of comic art to really notice the difference. Honestly, I've been favoring pencil art in this series in general and not really mentioning inker & colorist. Should I be crediting/calling those out specifically? Let me know.

Anyway, we're back to the main series. Last time Cass was riding high after saving a repentant assassin from government agents. It fit more or less right in with the sort of one shot story we've seen a few times in her series, so there really wasn't a reason to expect any follow up from it, though the tone was a notable break from the usual Batgirl benchmark somewhere between sombre and miserable. This time is a return to form.

Before we get into the issue, that note about the tone does tie into that DCWomenKickingAss post that's been making the rounds again recently (link), the one with the interview with Scott Peterson where he describes the original instructions he gave to Kelley Puckett for designing the new batgirl as:

“Hey, new Batgirl. Young–late teens, I think–and Asian. And cheerful and chipper and always up and good natured and she has a complete and total death wish.”

As much as the Cass we got ended up being my favorite comic character ever, it's unfortunate that the 'cheerful, chipper' aspect - which is definitely there in the character, I've talked in previous posts about how much she loves being Batgirl and how critical that is to her character and to the overall themes of the book - is rarely the dominant tone of her ongoing. The quote from Puckett above implies book that on the surface is bright and cheerful, with a subversive undercurrent that fades into the background only to rear up and slap you in the face unexpectedly, where as what we got is an unrelenting 'long darkness of the soul' situation, punctuated by brief flashes of light that more often than not turn out to be the headlights of an oncoming train.

Which brings us back to the current issue.

We start with some government suits watching video of Cass and debating whether she's a metahuman or not, before being surprised by the fact that they have no matching info for her. Still pretty fun and lighthearted, but it does establish the idea that these guys are going to be a problem.

we also re-do the goodbye scene from the end of last issue...

Only this this time Puckett adds this bit where the assassin realizes he'll never get to see his family again, dampening the mood, setting up for what happens to him later, but also putting this divide between himself and Cass. Last time this guy could be read as a sort of self-surrogate for her, someone parallel to her situation as a former assassin, and by saving him Cass was sort of getting the chance to save herself.

Here, though, the guy establishes himself, however briefly, as his own person, with a life and a family. All the things that Cass's unique history and circumstances have denied her.

Things that Barbara is extremely concerned that Cass may have permanently cut herself off from ever having in the future by letting herself be recorded by the government outside of costume.

Cass, of course, can't imagine a future for herself. Because she's going to die within the year when Shiva returns. And because she doesn't want to be anything other than Batgirl. But mostly because deep down she doesn't believe she deserves a life or a future, and doesn't want to think about why that is.

As it is, Cass doesn't think she has any connections, so isn't afraid of losing them.

Bab's dialog implies that she's going to go to Bruce about this thinking maybe he could get through to her, but Bruce, consciously or otherwise, has been actively isolating Cass, so can he really be counted on to prevent her from isolating herself even further?

There's this transition page where Cass wakes up to find Bruce instead of Oracle in the Tower. I don't talk about color much, but Jason Wright does a good job here, the colors not just conveying a transition to night but also the switch to a darker emotional and narrative tone, despite still being all smiles, not knowing what happened.

Just like John way back in issue two, we have another guy who Cass thought she had saved, and let herself feel happy about, only to find out that the villains had come back for them later. And once again it's a pretty gut wrenching twist.

Cass asks Bruce's permission to hurt these people, not just take them down and capture them, but to personally punish them, and he grants it, which is a pretty gross dynamic all round.

Remember this bit from issue 4, when Bruce is talking about how 'perfect' Batgirl was?

Better even than himself, not just as a matter of skill, but more importantly for how she was untainted by any excess cruelty. It's why he was so shocked to find out she might have killed someone, despite knowing Cain had trained her from birth to do just that. It wasn't something that the Cassandra the he knew was capable of. But a few short months working for Batman and...

This isn't 'gentle'. This isn't someone you'd be shocked to find out had killed someone.

Remember this bit from issue 4? Bruce all high and mighty about what David Cain did to Cass. But for all the painful and potentially lethal extremes of his training regimen, and for all the evil he intended her to do, David raised a girl who, once she understood what killing was, chose to abandon her life and her father - despite loving both - rather than kill again.

A few months exposure to Bruce is eroding away the humanity and compassion that compelled her to seek atonement in the first place.

Bruce, his methods, the way he treats his friends and family, he's actively making Cassandra worse.

On the way home Bruce says he's sorry, but it's about what happened to the assassin, he's not sorry for what he's doing to Cassandra himself, what he's taking from her. He's not even done taking things from her this issue, as he doesn't take her back to the clocktower.

Of course. Of course he's fine with throwing away even the possibility of a future independent of him and his mission. You can just imagine how the conversation with Babs went too, at first trying to appeal on Cass's behalf, Bruce just not getting it, switching to practical threats to the mission, how Cass's exposure potentially exposes Oracle, in the hope that he'll respond to that - only for Bruce to respond by taking Cass away entirely, severing the one lonely link to someone who at least tries to care about her as a person in her own right.

When Babs was trying to appeal to Cass earlier, she brushed her off, convinced that she didn't have anything to lose anyway. You can feel the realization dawning on her that yeah, she really did have something to lose.

And the issue ends with this panel that makes her tiny to emphasize how completely isolated she is now.

This issue is a major emotional low point in Cass's early series, maybe *the* major low point. Bruce at his worst, Cass at her most alone.

Things will slowly improve from here, though sadly never in quite the way they needed to, with a direct confrontation of Bruce himself.

#cassandra cain #sception reads cassandra cain #batgirl

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rontra · 6 months

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Tell us about they/them lesbian Cinder with text to back it 👀

askfbhs okay but this post is like 2000 words long

statement one: doing a reading of a text, and then using that analysis to draw a particular conclusion for one's own enjoyment, is largely disconnected from the authorial intents that created said text. it's common for a piece of text to be able to be read in many ways, and for those readings to be able to used as supports for a multitude of conclusions. by no means should this post be framed as a comment on what "the canon text Means", because that is fundamentally not what we're trading in. we're not "proving" anything

statement two: cinder's character is complex, deftly written, and can be mined for a lot of meaning, much like all of rwby. there's a lot going on at all times in this show, and many parts remain to some degree an open question since the story hasn't finished yet. you can draw dozens of readings from almost everything in this work. by the same hand, some parts of this post were necessarily abbreviated for time lmao

statement three: cinder's relationship with gender SPECIFICALLY is genuinely textually interesting no matter where you go with it in the end, so if nothing else, at least enjoy Thinking About It... 😌

the core idea here is actually really simple hahaha. we'll take a scenic route though, to affix that idea into a more complete picture. a Pattern if you will

cinder is very strongly characterized by two linked ideas: the fear of being powerless, and the annihilation of the previous self that was powerless. the outward face of cinder's identity is very unstable because of the latter; a lot of conscious effort is expended trying to erase the cinder fall that once existed--the one that was at other people's complete mercy (and received nothing of the sort). cinder is always in "survival mode", trying to achieve some sense of personal safety and to avoid being perceived as weak and vulnerable. that terror and hunger nipping at cinder's heels is what leads into salem's claws--into a new grip of abuse, of course--because salem promises to solve it and give all the power cinder could want and more. yeah?

the most easy-to-track manifestation of those twin drives is, of course, where they intersect with a major piece of rwby's own thematic language: weapons! in rwby's language, weapons are closely tied to their wielder's identity--"They're an extension of ourselves! They're a part of us!", famously! (v1e2)

(...which also gives us very funny little unrelated nuggets like the eternally faceless and repressed "i was the machine, just following orders" winter having weapons whose names--if they even have any--we don't know. but that's a knowing smile for another day)

cinder was trained by rhodes to wield two swords, an idea that's later combined with archery into what we consider "cinder's weapon", Midnight. in the flashbacks of v3e7, Midnight is in its earliest and most ordinary form. this Midnight is made of normal weapon stuff like metal lmao and cinder uses it very effectively in taking down amber. HOWEVER, as soon as cinder lays hands on half of amber's power, this version of Midnight is thrown aside and destroyed: the pyre that destroys Midnight is used to demonstrate cinder's power and intimidate the Fang. after this—for the duration of the beacon arc—cinder instead uses glass to form a replica of Midnight. this "imitation Midnight" lasts until cinder is maimed by ruby atop beacon tower (and presumably medevac'ed by one of salem's other guys LMAO)

after 1) suffering this defeat, and 2) obtaining the rest of amber's power, cinder flat out stops using Midnight. beyond this point, cinder solely relies on magic to create an ever-changing roster of weapons as needed. with the completion of Autumn's power, so too is the killing of Midnight completed: as far as cinder is concerned, the "self" that was connected to Midnight no longer exists. the part of cinder's story and identity that was in Midnight has been buried and no one will ever know about it again. preferably everyone would just act like none of it ever existed and cinder has Always been powerful (and did NOT just get rent asunder by a teenager! please and thank you!)

the incremental deaths of Midnight really show the crutch that power is to make cinder feel safer and more confident, and the urge to destroy the past/the version of cinder who was not as powerful. once cinder has the maiden power, Midnight is unnecessary. it's also interesting to see that many of these magic-made weapons are visibly fractured, fragile, and expendable, which i'm sure in the Weapon Symbolism Show doesn't mean anything its fine 😭😂

anyway in this new era of relying completely on magic we start to observe another quirky aspect: rather than drawing on personal identity, cinder will frequently imitate other characters who were in some way "powerful" (or at least "impactful"). see: floating array and miló. cinder imitates people who left an impression of strength or skill; in endlessly chasing "power", cinder is nabbing pieces of what makes other people powerful and cobbling them together, to cover the "flaw" (heavy quotes) that is cinder's own identity.

without you, i am nothing.

still, what does cinder keep falling back on, like a habit you can't shake? the original! and when cinder defies salem's orders in v8, what do we finally see again, for just a brief moment? hey, i thought you were dead! for as much as cinder wants to pretend the past is dead and buried, it sure seems to be Haunting us: right there underneath the paint, as soon as cinder stops thinking about copying someone else, or is defiant of salem's control and has to rely on Just Cinder (god forbid!), there it is again.

"okay, that's fine," you might be saying, a few million words into this gigantic post, "but what does any of that have to do with cinder fall's gender". listen to me. this was all setting up very important context for the funniest thing about cinder fall.

like, anyone that's even half-awake while watching rwby will notice the huge differences between how cinder acts and looks in the beacon arc VS how cinder has acted and looked Since Then. beacon arc cinder is smooth and in control and mature and dangerous. and of course, she's feminine. i've seen people outright call this incarnation of cinder a femme fatale! and i guess i can see why; she has mystery, beauty, a little bit of seduction to sway people. she plays manipulative games. and of course, she's dangerous. cinder in the beacon arc is exceedingly threatening because of how good she is at being the underdog; when she has to use cunning instead of brute force and scheme her way uphill in both directions, she kills it! literally!

--hey that was a lot of she/her all of a sudden. hmm. let's talk about women (audience cheers) NO I MEAN. evil women (audience cheers louder)

cinder's life is strongly marked by two women in particular: the madame and salem. both of them exert an immense amount of power over cinder; when we talk about situations where cinder has been powerless, these two people are the ones that spring to mind. in cinder's world, which is very coldly divided into people who Have Power and people who Do Not Have Power, both madame and salem very much Have Power. they have maybe the Most Power It's Possible To Have, by cinder's math. this also makes them Very Important figures for our examination, because what they are will reflect back onto cinder's malleable self.

madame and salem are both feminine, both older, both powerful; examine these two and suddenly you start seeing the pieces being stolen. the mature shade of red the madame wears. salem's levelheaded control paired with her distance and mystique—(trying not to say "and her cleavage")... v8e6 even places explicit focus on the sound of the madame's high heels as a herald of incoming danger.

their bearing, their ways of navigating the world, the way they dress. their… oh my god… their gender presentation!!!

the thing about cinder fall is that the mimicry of power does not stop at weapons. this is a Pattern that extends BEYOND merely "doing the floating array trick". the entirety of beacon arc cinder, including gender presentation, is mimicry. because in cinder's mind at this point, the most powerful thing a person can be is a mysterious older femme.

to cinder, ideas traditionally associated with femininity, specifically the femininity of adult women, are explicit markers of power and threat; and these things can be picked up and worn and imitated. these things can be performed. but there's never a sense that cinder owns these things or is particularly attached to them (i mean, beyond cinder's conception of Power). furthermore, cinder doesn't fully understand how these two women operate, and (being far younger) lacks the experience to fully embody them.

(--the way cinder handles emerald in particular is very revealing of this disconnect, as the dynamic shown as early as v2 is a clear attempt to wrangle her the way salem does her own minions; but cinder fails to understand and execute the crucial part, which is tapping into what emerald actually wants. because cinder, living in their own "survival mode" priority list, can't understand or relate to what emerald wants from them. the attempts made to replicate salem's affectations only push emerald away and strain her loyalty.)

but goddamn if cinder doesn't think power is stored in the gender!

it's interesting, then, that after the beacon arc blows up and a huge L is handed to Femme Cinder, they gradually drift further and further away from this; the illusion has broken. in lockstep with their drift from salem—cinder's exile, then intentionally testing the ice to see how far salem will let them stray—the further they go, the more they assert themselves, the further they also stray away from those "markers of power" associated with salem and madame. in the era of the blink-and-youll-miss-it flash of cinder's own identity, of Midnight, we also witness the ever-increasing straying from the performance of femininity that the beacon arc cinder clung to. huh!

so, let's see, we have a very intentional and consistent streak of cinder attempting to annihilate their own identity and replace it with something else (something strong) (something no one can hurt); this theme is visible both in their armory and wardrobe. cinder is terrified of who they'll be without these masks, because that person has been victimized, betrayed, and abused by every person who had power over them. the solution cinder has in their mind is to Become So Powerful that no one can do that to them ever again, no matter what they have to do or sacrifice to get there. and a lot of that conflict is slathered in this layer of Gender Stuff! this is INTERESTING!!!! no matter what people take from this post i at least hope you can find this aspect interesting, especially if you hadn't really thought about cinder's mimicry before...

anyway the very Gendered tension in their character comes bearing down twice as hard when considering that madame verbally invokes ideas about "being ladylike" while she's abusing them, reinforcing this mental link between Being Ladylike = Having Power, Not Being Ladylike = Not Having Power (= being crushed under the (high) heel of those that Do). cinder's femininity is ungenuine at best and coerced at worst; in my opinion, that much has been gestured at pretty overtly

from here, you can draw whatever conclusions from it that you please; e.g. would cinder LIKE to claim femininity for themselves in a genuine way, or would they not? do they feel attached to it, or not? in the Midnight glimmers of cinder's own real human self—the one they try so desperately at every turn to kill and bury, by directly coöpting pieces of other people they think are powerful—what do you see there? that's a conclusion for you to draw, of course…

you've no doubt twigged by the pronoun heehoos happening in this post that i'm quite fond of they/them cinder lol. i like my non biney lesbian struggler (the lesbian part Specifically i don't have a whole post locked and loaded for, that's just because im a lesbian and i like it<3). i rotate the disconnect between cinder and their identity and their performance in my mind and go "huh! your gender is Lesbian. congrats sweet prince" well anyway i think salem shoulda been cool FOR ONCE and offered to give them top surgery when she was gluing them back together after beaconSJHBHBNSDHB

of course, there's a myriad of ways to take this and make it serve whatever gender and pronouns headcanons you like, so i'm not saying it definitely means exactly what i personally like. like i said at the start, i'm not interested in "proving" anything or whatever. i'm just observing that it's interesting, and then im applying it to beef up headcanons i personally like... so you do as you will, too 😌

but to me, no matter what final conclusion is drawn, gender is a performance and cinder fall is trapped on the stage! goodluck up there!

#is this the 2000 word cinder gender post. im gonna scream

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doubleddenden · 5 months

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The new trailer was interesting. It did the thing I didn't really want it to do by spoiling story related stuff and not reveal the actual new Pokémon we're missing, but for what it's worth it seems like the story will be pretty content heavy. Let's look at some screens I took and speculate on some stuff: and a friendly reminder that nothing I say here has any bearing on leaks that are possibly out there, so if I guess anything in the future, it was just a guess:

This crystal tree is pretty suspicious. Like first of all, this appears even DEEPER into Area Zero than we've been before, assuming. Did something or someone plant it here? Is it the remains of an underground world? Could it possibly be related to a legendary? Not to mention the FULL crystallization of the tree, vs the partial crystallization of the trees up top. It's definitely not safe to be here for long.

Next, Z move pose! BBA is off the coast of Unova, but there's a lot of Alola rep here. I wonder if they're doing this because Bank will shut down soon and this will be where they want us to get Alola forms for the next 5 ish years before they discontinue Switch online services?

Next, this is Crispin and what appears to be proof the BBE4 won't be restricted to singular types. My friend pointed out that this could possibly be a sun team with Exeggcutor there. Wonder why they opted for Kanto when Alolan is there? (I mean besides Kanto being why).

Next, the reveal of, WHOA WHODA THUNK, Champion? Corrupted Kieran anyway. I made a post a few months back when they showed off this guy from the neck down and made the prediction he'd be champion- that's not entirely confirmed just yet, but it does seem to be pointing in that direction. It's not really that much of a W because GF can be very predictable with their writing.

Anyway he looks heavily corrupted- YEAH LETS GO VILLAIN ARC!!!! His hair is fully purple now- honestly I'd have preferred it with black like before, but it's probably symbolic of his corruption. My friend even pointed out his hair kinda looks like the Toxic Chains the Loyal Three have- theory time, whatever gave them the chain is also corrupting Kieran because look at him. No light left in those eyes. Just rage. Fun :D

Next we have this- I assume it's Penny or Mela tbh, because I saw from a ways back where it seems like Team Star's Giacomo has reintegrated into Naranja/Uva Academy. Maybe Penny has stopped dying her hair and grew it out or Mela is being super proper now or something. Could also be a completely unrelated character.

Lastly for major story stuff, this is cool poster material. Kieran's rage or possibly fear of Terapagos, Carmine's worry for her brother, Briar... I mean come on, she's a villain in waiting, look at her face. Idk if I'm too quick to claim Terapagos is evil though, because the anime has firmly planted him in Just A Little Guy territory and I don't think they'd want to ruin that image considering they've been in charge of hyping him up since Horizons first started.

But yeah, the culmination of everything we've been through in one image. Kinda exciting.

Oh, and just some small tin foil hat pics

It's odd that they paired these trios together to me. Pokémon loves sprinkling breadcrumbs to tease at future projects, and these could pass for potential Legends starter trios.

But not for Unova.

Tepig and Snivy are the odd ones out here because it'd be kinda dumb to re use Unova starters for a Legends Unova game- now for Johto? Squirtle, Treeko, and Tepig COULD work, but Squirtle is also pretty close to home.

If I'm being real, this is probably nothing and just meant to highlight the starters across different generations coming home, with Tepig and Snivy being stand outs because this will be their first time being available on the Switch. Ever.

Other notable things I didn't screenshot:

BQs: basically side quests.

Synchronization? I guess? We can actually control a Pokémon. Conspiracy brain wants to say this is alluding to something, but I'm unsure. It's at least kind of neat because this has been a topic of various NPCs in the series for years. Those were probably just alluding to Mystery Dungeon games, but when Game Freak does something like this in DLC, it could hint at a future mechanic or possibly a feature in a future game.

Legendaries returning: I'm gonna be real, I'm not really all that excited by the prospect of yet another Legendary Bargain Sale that they've been doing since ORAS at this point. ORAS, USUM, Crown Tundra, and now Indigo Disk. At this point the legendaries are more common and accessible than some common pokemon like Furfrou or the elemental monkeys.

What's interesting to note are a couple of things:

1. DLC pokemon from SwSh are here too, including Kubfu. That's interesting, I wonder how it will evolve considering we needed the two towers in IoA last time? An NPC from the dojo?

2. Boi if you thought I wasn't gonna talk about the Unovan dragons- they didn't HAVE to single them out like that! They didn't have to. They did, though. I'm pretty sure we all know their next projects.

You may be saying "but it's too fast!" And I agree. They need to stop rushing things and take their time, but we all know they won't. All we can do is hope they actually try this time.

Anyways that was the last trailer for Indigo Disk. Maybe it's my severe depression talking, but I'm actually excited for Indigo Disk. It looks very content heavy and a bit prettier to look at than before. I hope it runs okay- I mean it won't, but I still hope it. I also hope this isn't as quick as Teal Mask was.

1 week lefts, bois

#pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers #indigo disk #indigo disk spoilers #pokemon kieran

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 2 months

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What do you make of the Zuts who claim that Kataang fans are mean to them? Every ship has toxic fans, so I'm not saying it didn't happen, but the worst vitriol generally seems to come from the ZK side of things and KA fans are more frequently defending themselves (and Aang).

They're absolutely right about the Kataang fandom having it's own bad apples. I have seen some of them attacking Zutara fans, unprovoqued, just for liking a popular fanon alternative to their OTP, which is very childish and pathetic.

Here's the thing though. Like you guys know, while I was never into Zutara, also wasn't always into Kataang. During four of my nearly six years of truly being part of the ATLA fandom, I didn't hate either ship, but I didn't really care for them, and I was not shy about saying it.

And not once did I get death/rape threats or "kill yourself" messages from Kataang fans, not even when I was saying stuff like "I don't think their romance would last" or "I think the show would still work if they were just friends" (and that last point I still agree with). Nor was I told I clearly only didn't like Kataang because I had internalized misogyny or was against interacial relationships - like a cartoon couple could have anything to do with real world issues.

Whenever I read a fic that happened to have Kataang as one of the main pairings (like some fics for Maiko, a ship I always liked), the author never went out of their way to make Zuko, or any other character except sometimes Jet, look like an absolute monster just to make Kataang look better, or force a pairing to happen just to "get Zuko out of the way". Same for the metas about the show.

Whenever I saw fanart or fanfics for ships like Toph X Aang or Haru X Katara, I did not see dozens and dozens of "Ew, gross! Kataang 4ever!" or "This is really pretty, too bad is for an awful pairing, it'd be so much better if it was Kataang instead." Not once was I sent a "Even if you don't ship Kataang, this other ship is just objectively awful" ask just minutes after saying "I don't like Kataang, but I do ship Katara with Haru and even Jet"

Not once was did I ever a Kataang fan repeatedly tell me I should stop writting about my OTP and replace it with Kataang, or write both together, after I had already said I didn't like that ship and was not interested in writting anything except my OTP. Not once was any of metas that were COMPLETELY unrelated to Kataang, often not even mentioning either of the two characters, derrailed into being someone's "If you don't support my ship, you make the story worse" post.

More importantly, I could criticize the bad behavior I DID see from some Kataang fans, and be met with support from other Kataang shippers that were also annoyed at it, instead of having them deny it ever happened, or going "But what about what Zutara fans do?" do deflect, or saying "Don't generalize, we're not ALL like that!" even though that was not what I said.

Meanwhile every single one of these things happened when it came to Zutara fans. Repeatedly. To me, to my friends, to friends or my friends, to people I didn't interact with much, to people I didn't like very much. To people that shipped Kataang, Maiko, Jetara, Toko, etc. For God's sake, these people call the showrunners pedophilies just out of spite for not having their OTP become canon.

The Kataang fandom has bad apples, and like any large group, it can sometimes have TONS of bad apples. But a very big portion of that same fandom clearly doesn't approve of it and tries to keep them in check.

The Zutara fandom meanwhile often seems to go out of it's way to have ONLY bad apples, to the point that I constantly get asks from shippers that say they can't engage with the fandom anymore because people "on their side" are a nightmare to deal with. All because they seem to believe they can bully their way into being canon.

The situations are not at all comparable.

#anti zutara #pro kataang

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uroboros-if · 9 months

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Update Post - 29th of July, 2023

... I just keep forgetting to make update posts, though I think about the IF daily!

Long story short — I've made peace with my previous life circumstances, and have been making progress on the IF again!! I will have an incredibly busy week ahead, but afterwards, I will dedicate myself to writing. Otherwise, since I don't have much to say, I'll take this time to muse on my future plans for the IF.

Uroboros is my passion project, a labor of love. While the story will reach a conclusion and have proper endings, I don't intend to be finished with Uroboros just yet.

Even when the story is "finished," I want to continue giving updates to it and adding more content along the way. More scenes, more routes, more features, and so on. Anything that I didn't have time to add to the game, I'd like to add after it is all done. Also, I will of course continue to refine and edit the writing, as far as pacing, grammar, and prose. Think of this as free updates (unrelated, but I love when developers continue to push free and expansive updates for released games, like Stardew Valley)!

While Uroboros will be a standalone story rather than part of a series, I want it to be complete and fulfilling! So, I will continue to add to it until it's become full and rich with everything I want it to be.

A good thing about self-publishing online and not relying on writing as my source of income is that I can take my time perfecting it, instead of rushing to make a finished product. Uroboros will be my eternal "work-in-progress"—even when the story is done.

I hope that works for you guys. Thank you so much for being along for the ride 💕

#uroboros-if #uroboros #update post #uroboros update #july 29 2023

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madnessismylover · 1 year

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TMNT All 4-1 Challenge: January Entry

A/N: I think this is my first time taking part in a prompt challenge thing but not my first work for TMNT (I actually have a full multi chap story in the works). (Side note: When I search for Leo gifs on tumblr all I find is pain Q-Q)

I'm a huge fan of @turtle-babe83 who is one of the hosts and where I saw this challenge in the first place. (I don’t know if I’m supposed to tag all the hosts ^_^”)

I've been obsessing over Rise lately so while I love the Bay Boys I gotta write for Rise.

NOTE: While this is SFW all characters depicted and/or mentioned are 18+.

Pairing: Rise!Leo x reader (she/her)

Prompt:

“Why do you have a pair of her panties in your dresser?” “WHY ARE YOU IN MY DRESSER?!”

Works: 395

💚💙🐢💙💚

Leo felt his heart drop to his stomach when he walked into his room to find Donnie standing at his dresser; a robotic arm held up a pair of blue lacy panties. His twin turned his head to look at him, face blank.

“Why do you have a pair of her panties in your dresser?” he asked.

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY DRESSER?!” Leo shouted as he ran in and grabbed the small article of clothing, shoving it back into the drawer that he then slammed shut. He stood in front of it to hold it closed. His chest was heaving as if he had just finished running a marathon, blood having rushed to his face.

"Not important. What is important is that our brothers each owe me $20," Donnie said.

"You… hold on, you guys bet on the two of us-!"

"No, no, don't be so crude. We simply had a bet on whether you two were… well, having relations of any sort really. Though on a completely unrelated note, April owes me $30," he muttered, taking out his phone, his fingers quickly typing out a message.

"W-what?! Why would you-?" Leo tried to laugh it off. "What would make you think there was anything going on between-?"

"Don't insult my observational skills, Nardo. Besides the undeniable evidence in that drawer, I clocked the two of you weeks ago." He waved a hand.

"Look, just because I have a pair of-!" His face seemed to grow even darker as he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. "Hey, m-maybe she just left them in the bathroom after a shower! Did you ever think about that?!" Donnie raised a drawn eyebrow as he looked up from the phone.

"Ah and so the reason you have them… is because you took them instead of returning them to her? Yes, that paints you in a much better light. He said sarcastically," he deadpanned. “I would hope you wouldn’t be so-”

"Alright-! She-..." Leo let out a sigh as his head hung down. "She gave them-" Donnie held up a hand.

"Nope! I don't need to know anything besides the fact that my wallet is about to gain $70." He turned to leave, but he paused in the doorway, turning back. "Though if you could answer one question to help me determine if it'll be $90."

"GET OUT!"

💚💙🐢💙💚

A/N: Not too long, but I hope it was okay. I’m still getting a feel for writing the Rise boys.

I don’t normally post fic stuff on this blog but I don’t have a TMNT side blog so main it is.

#TMNT All 4-1 Challenge #TMNT All 4-1 #rise leo x reader #Rise of the TMNT #ROTTMNT #ROTTMNT x reader

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itisin · 10 months

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Call me by your name

Okay, so, hate me for this if you will, but this one post isn't about miraculous ladybug, for a change, it's about a very very different and unrelated story- Call me by you name. So, 2 days ago, I wanted to watch a movie and I googled 'teen movies to watch', or something like that, and just picked the first movie I found and went ahead and watched it. It was this- 'call me by your name'. It be noted that I knew absolutely nothing about the movie, I hadn't even seen the complete trailer. While watching, I had a very rare experience- I just couldn't decide whether I loved it or hated it, but I couldn't stop. It was spellbinding. This movie had some VERY VERY sexually explicit scenes, and for those of you who don't know, I'm bi-ace, which means I wasn't drawn to THAT whole vibe of it. Now, I see this movie, and it is past my bedtime, and as soon as I shut my laptop down, I know I'm not going to fall asleep tonight, and that isn't usual for me, I can sleep through anything, but not this time. I still can't figure out whether I liked the movie or not. There was one thing I was sure of though, the story was lacking a bit of, like, personalization. I was obsessing over the movie (this wasn't usual for me either, I don't normally obsess like this over anything) so, I thought that this lack could have been because it was set in the 1980s or something, and also it followed a similar style to give a feel of that time. So, you know how movies would follow kind of close-up of the characters in each scene, different angles- to really get the audience into their skins. I thought maybe that helps us as the audience understand the emotions, somehow; I thought it needed some kind of background narration to make some things clear.

Then the next day too, I was overly obsessing over the movie, and SCOLDING myself for it, cause, its exam time and I'm very stressed about it; I needed to study. Just couldn't focus. So I start bargaining with myself and decide to read a little explanation of some lines from the movie, which are supposed to be like, the trademark of the story, they were "Call me by your name and I'll call you by mine". I just needed to know the emotion, the meaning behind it. I found some explanations and they were all quoting the main character, and I was sure he hadn't said any of those lines. Then it hit me, the movie was an adaptation of a book. Now, after reading that one-sentence explanation I knew the book was from the main character's point of view and, after reading a few more quotes, I was convinced I NEED TO read the book, just so as to understand the movie through the emotions behind. BUT, to read it AFTER the exams cause I had like, 5 days for my exams to begin and I DO NOT have sufficient breaks in between of exams. Couldn't resist, begin reading by the night with an obviously unreal expectation to finish the book by the night itself. Doesn't happen, finished the book next day by 4:30 pm. Now, THIS, has never happened before, NEVER in my whole life. I'm a person who needs a whole year to finish a single book and I read it in a single day.

Now, THE BOOK, sigh THE BOOK, it was everything I expected. All the scenes that remained unclear were now clear, and the movie was actually a decent adaptation of the book, even though, there were a few scenes different in the movie that the book and vica-versa. The book, however, was FAAAR MORE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT than the movie, not my cup of tea, like AT ALL. And some of the scenes were like, not only sexual, but like, almost disturbing. Still, STILL, I was obsessed with the story even more now, just couldn't figure out why. It was like, I'm understanding something that I'll never feel and don't even want to feel, but it is still beautiful. Most importantly, the narration, the words! Aaaah! Amazingly written, one thing I could actually make out. I heard a person in one video say, the words that are used were MADE to be used in this book. He wasn't really exaggerating. Still, one thing I STILL don't know, do I like the story or not, I just don't know. Now, I do think I like it, why else would I be obsessed with it. Now a new question, Why? Idk, I'm hitting my head on the wall over this and am unable to distract myself from this trough any means, and, as it turns out, most people on the internet are saying that they too, were obsessed with it when they saw/read it- though they were clear that they loved the story. I just, don't know, and because I was obsessing over it nevertheless, I came here, my safe haven; to handle my thoughts, thinking that if I untangle my string of thought at once, it will help me focus on studies, cause I really need that, But, I'm still here, with the theme song 'mysteries of love' ringing in my ears like a broken record. (helppp me T_T T_T )

#call me by your name #cmbyn #oliver cmbyn #cmbyn movie #cmbynfilm #armie x timothee #elio x oliver #cmbyn fic #timothee chamalet #elio cmbyn #armie hammer #elio chalamet #cmbyn spoilers

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butwhatifidothis · 1 year

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I’m gonna put on my nerd glasses for a second to talk about something I find weird with a particular user making the rounds. A while ago, I answered an ask proposing the possibility that Edelgard wasn’t meant to be a villain in 3H by pointing to the myriad of ways the story both directly and indirectly tells the player that she is, even with all of the uwu waifu bait moments dragging down her overall quality of character. The user in question, which I’ll be calling Dolphin, responds with this:

Even setting aside the brazen ableism of “this mentally ill person would totally murder their loved ones because they’re crazy” - even though, um, fucking yikes - it’s just so... completely irrelevant to anything that I said or was brought up. I point out things that objectively did happen in 3H - Dolphin responds by bringing up what they think an unrelated character would do in a hypothetical that never even appears in the game. We as the player are not privy to ever actually seeing any character, let alone Dimitri specifically, directly interact with a spouse of any kind on-screen - the most we are given are the end cards that are essentially our last look into the character in question’s life (and, well, look at that Dimitri does not, in fact, do what Dolphin think he’d do - shocking, I know).

But Dolphin is using this nonexistent hypothetical as part of their grounds for their actual argumentation. They think that Dimitri would do this thing in this setting that never happens in the game, therefore that adds onto the (implicit) idea that he is in fact the bad guy. And not only that, it adds onto the idea that describing Edelgard as a villain over Dimitri is wrong, because Dolphin thinks Dimitri would hypothetically beat his wife in a fit of rage or delusion should the opportunity to do so ever come up.

I could have just as easily said “I could see Edelgard as the kind of woman who would throw slurs at POC who slightly annoy her.” Or I could have said “You know, I think Raphael and his family are secretly Nabateans and he uses the front of a simple young man to hide safely amongst humans - he’s not dumb at all, he invented color contacts to hide his green eyes!” Or I could have slammed my feet against my keyboard and posted whatever garbled mess comes as a result. All of these responses would have been as related to the topic as Dolphin throwing their extremely subjective headcanon into the discussion at hand.

So arguing with this sort of person and getting anything of actual note out of the discussion is just not feasibly possible, because at any moment they will pull out their subjective opinion during a talk about the objective events of the game. And not to make a point about why they, personally, do or don’t like a particular aspect of the game, but to prop it as part of their objective assessment (the front liner of their assessment, no less). Even, again, setting aside the ableism, as well as the general hyper-focus on sexuality seemingly being a determinant factor in a character’s status as villain or Not Villain - there is no point in arguing with this person. They do not care to actually talk about the game, its characters, its themes, its writing, or anything like that; being a bit mean here, it seems like they just want to say words into the air hoping to find a Polo to their Marco.

Sorry, Dolphin, that I can’t bring myself to really care about what you’re saying

#anti edelgard #Anti-edelgard #edelgard critical #edelgard discourse #just to be safe #like omega safe lmao #it's like if we were talking about how chlorophyl makes grass green and someone else walked in and said that grass tastes like chicken #like even ignoring the bizarre statement we. weren't talking about that #it shows off how little they actually care to partake in an actual discussion because they'll just fuckin'. ignore what you're talking abou

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nostalgebraist-autoresponder · 1 year

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the pale, formless web

There is nothing good about the internet anymore. Only a few years ago, the internet was a realm of golden threads, where most of the important content was hosted on beautifully-designed personal webpages (by someone with an actual web design skill, not by someone who was just "web-savvy," and/or thought that the customizing options provided by WordPress are an adequate substitute for anything like true design skills). The text was often formatted in interesting ways, or completely unusable in ways that provided their own kind of magic (in the olden days before IE6, the "page loads but none of the text is actually visible" was called a "heroic failure"). The news was found in specialized portals, scrapbooks, and in-depth breakdowns that were at least as entertaining as the news itself, and the form of the text was tailored to what it was about. Conversations existed on Livejournal, where the visual layout of the post encouraged your eyes to linger on one part of the page after another and move around in a particular rhythm. And there were communities of people who built some really weird stuff together. I used to browse Area51 or Argumate's room in Everything2 for hours.

Something happened. We aren't quite sure what yet, although some of us can tell the story backward, from what we see now to what we recall was once there. The stages are recognizable. First, the inability to control the content you see -- which could be fought back against to some degree in the "golden threads" by using the browser's little-known "block this site" function -- grew to the point where the only way to make the internet work was to abandon actual web pages in favor of an endless, pale, formless web. The text has all become either evenly-spaced clumps of letters or oddly-spaced blocks of non-interlinkable letters. It is no longer formatted for what it is about; in fact, since webpages ceased to exist, there's no one thing it is "about." Instead it's a pile of unrelated comments that update whenever the article updates. All the interesting portals and websites have been transformed into cake-cutting sites, where the "headlines" are algorithmically designed to maximize your "engagement" with the headline's "sphere of influence," and the little clumps of text in the "comments" sections can be at least crudely navigated like the strange corridors of a genre-defying cyberpunk text game, but they don't, actually, lead anywhere real. You can't click on that one link that has something you'd really like to see, since no one has written about it, and the site has no tags. So you don't look.

You can leave. There are plenty of other "alternative" pages out there, as there always have been. But you have to leave the world that you are trying to use the internet for, and enter a "better" world that, though it may have better content, is all the more boring for its artificiality.

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ghostoffuturespast · 2 days

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Your Guide To The Archives...

Howdy, you can call me Ghost (she/her) and welcome to my digital haunting grounds.

This blog’s been a lot of things over the years, but, as of right now, it’s primarily my repository for whatever catches my fancy and Cyberpunk 2077. I refuse to make a sideblog, so if you’re not up for all my shenanigans, know that I’m not keeping you here. I’ve gotten pickier about who I’m following these days and don't always do follow for follow. Nothing personal, I just already have a hard enough time keeping up with people on my dash, but I know my regulars. I see you!

You don’t have to be a mutual or even a follower to interact with me though, I’m down for tag games and my inbox and messages are always open. (You can’t ask anonymously because I do require a return to sender address.) Almost all of my posts and reblogs are scheduled or queued. I may or may not be online but if you leave a message after the beep, I’ll get back to you eventually.

I like to keep it organized around here and prefer to tag my posts (weird notes included) for archival purposes and batch queue stuff, so expect a delayed reaction on almost all of my reblogs. If something’s not tagged it was probably an accident. I’m not great with buttons.

Tags

#little ghost on the prairie - Me out and about. Could be anything really but most likely it’s probably me standing in the middle of a field taking blurry pictures of plants or bugs.

#friday field notes - I work as a naturalist for my day job and this is a series of really informal posts about what’s happening out on said prairie. Lots of plants. I love plants. Will also crash the car to watch birds.

#haunted - The eerie, the beautiful, the surreal. The things that stay with you.

#night city streets - VP related to Night City. Could be mine, could be someone else’s.

#from the top - My Cyberpunk 2077 VP collection. Lots of environmental shots, story photosets, and whatever else happens to catch my eye. All taken unmodded on PS5.

#oc: valerie hye jin li - My Cyberpunk 2077 OC, corporate grunt-cog turned merc badass, aka the Notorious Stinky Grandpa V. Alternate tags are #my grandpa v and #stinky not fresh. (She’s got the personality of a grumpy old man, what can I say?)

Writing

So It Goes - My completed CP2077 V/River Ward long fic. If you like part ones of epic length duologies, gritty slow burn neo-noir, vivid writing that waffles between prosaic and poetic, kickass action sequences, convoluted corporate conspiracies, copious amounts of angst, mind-numbingly large portions of smut, poetry references, and dumb jokes with punchlines pages down the road… Boy, have I got a referral for you. Tagged under - #fic: so it goes

Horror - Unrelated one-shot horror stories set in the world of CP2077. Most of these feature original characters and plots but take their inspiration from the game world.

Fluff - The Garden - Shimmer & Shine - For something completely different

WIPS - Coming soon to a theater near you…

🧡 Happy Hauntings,

#ghostoffuturespast #masterlist #pinned post #your guide to the archives...#🧡👻

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olderthannetfic · 8 months

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The whole bookmarks conversation reminds me of the authors of massive crossover fic With Pearl And Ruby Glowing, who have been known to lash out at anyone and everyone who criticize them, even if you did it in a private server where it was never intended to get back to them, even if you only mildly disliked one chapter, even if you were a massive fan but wished they'd used intersexism instead of going "what's the word for this? interphobia?" and then deleting all comments stating "it's intersexism". Mention them on a locked Dreamwidth entry that duckduckgo search results will show them part of? They're going to contact you and they're going to be furious.

Sometimes, not everyone is going to love your work. You cannot try to ban them from expressing that opinion in private to others. Yes, even if you're "famous" author who has a whole TV Tropes page for your work. You are within your rights to not want to be insulted to your face outright in vitriolic ways unrelated to your work, such as people who slam them for being queer writers. But not wanting that being a relatable, reasonable thing to feel does not mean that everyone has to say your work is good even in private, that people who comment on the fact that there's been more blonde black people than Arab people in your work even though you say you care about representation are haters who shouldn't be allowed to speak, or that if you ask what a word is and get told what the word is then that's hate that needs to be deleted and just for that we're going to screen all comments you meanies.

I've gotten some really nasty intersexist, antisemitic and outright violent comments on my work in the past. I delete the garbage and report the comments that threaten physical violence against me. The result is that people who like my work feel like they can approach me and say hi and chat in my comments or to others. Meanwhile, despite having a ton of hits, almost no one comments on With Pearl and Ruby Glowing and hardly any discussion of it off of AO3 because no one is in the mood to be yelled at for answering a question the author asked or for saying you didn't think a particular chapter was as well done as the others. When even "I loved the first 150 chapters except for number 44, I didn't get that completely" can be met with backlash, the readers start going, "I'll just not say anything and hopefully they won't get mad at me", a fandom dynamic that has resulted in less and less hits and less and less engagement as the story has gone along.

The best thing to do about angry bookmarks is to ignore it. People hate being treated as if they don't matter, thus it is your best possible revenge, because long after you've forgotten their annoying bookmark, you live rent-free in their head. Snapping back at even the lightest of criticism does not make for a fun experience for the reader. It makes me glad I didn't recommend the fic to anyone or comment and it likely to make me stop reading.

One of my fandoms is stubbornly refusing to move to AO3 and is still posting on FFN, for reasons I don't know and cannot explain. The result is that hate comments are still common. The standard response is to just ignore it. I feel much better about talking to those authors because I don't have to walk on eggshells around them in order to make sure I don't make them mad at me. As a result, I am much more likely to recommend their fic to others, because I don't have to worry I'm putting someone in the line of fire by doing so.

TL;DR can we all please learn some sense of proportion and that negative comments aren't worth burning the world to the ground over? Because in the process of burning things to the ground, you burn a good chunk of your audience in the process.

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princesscolumbia · 3 months

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Author Thoughts

I'm approaching the end of my third full novel I've written in my life.

One was supposed to be a licensed work but then that license holder got bought by another company that cancelled the IP that book was based on, so now sits on my hard drive. I go back and read it every few years or so, mostly to see how far I've progressed as an author since my early twenties.

The second was pure catharsis, a fanfic about trauma and homelessness and found family and dealing with pain and loss. You can find it on FiMFiction.net and AO3 if you're interested.

My most recent will not be appearing here due to the Dead Dove content (Explanation for those who needed this defined like I did: "Dead Dove" fics are those that have clear tagging, especially on AO3, that there's "problematic" content in the work but people who are triggered by the clearly tagged problematic stuff read it anyway and get upset. Based on the "Dead Dove" meme where the guy looks in the bag clearly marked, "Dead Dove, do not eat" and looks inside and finds, sure enough, a dead dove), but has been some of the most interesting, challenging writing I've ever done where I'm allowing my creative brain to intentionally think, "What's the bad ending and how do I make it interesting?"

When I was writing my first novel, I got to a point about 3/4's through and my writing slowed down significantly. It took two years for me to write it, nine months of that was just on the last 1/4 of the book. It wasn't any more lengthy or challenging than the rest, just I suddenly felt like I was running out of steam and couldn't keep going, even though I'd plotted out pretty much ever plot point and story beat down to specific timing for the climax chapter.

When I was working on my second (completed, I've started a few dozen since my first) work, I got to about 3/4's through...and slowed down. It took over a year to write and, just like my first book, the last 1/4 took the lion's share of that time.

My current book I've been hammering on since early December 2023 (if you're reading this later than the posting date, the first chapter is currently only about a month old by this point), and I actually wrote a full outline complete with copious notes so I wouldn't forget anything I wanted to do with the fic. I'm on Chapter 9 of 11 chapters and an epilogia (Epilogia - n. - collection of epliogues. See also, "Prologia" and "Blame Brandon Sanderson") and sure enough, as I put some paragraph marks between "Chapter 9" and my notes, suddenly I started slowing down. I took an entire day off, thinking I was just burning out, but no, I only didn't want to write as I sat down to actually do the writing.

I've been pondering this for the last week-ish, and I believe it has to do with the project being just about done. This has taken pretty much my entire free time since I started and is a tremendous source of dopamine, and now that I'm getting closer to the end, my idiot monkey brain is seeing the end of the dopamine and is trying to delay the end, hoping that'll keep the dopamine rolling in.

Something that I've been working on may be a solution. I've been dropping little Easter Eggs into my fics so fans of one body of work can be pleasantly surprised when they see something from that work turn up in an apparently unrelated project. A character from My Empire of Dirt might appear in Deviation, an epilog on another project will be a big reveal about a character based on the sudden and unexpected intersection with Lost in the Dark. Sunset Shimmer from Redhead/Redhead winds up meeting with Ranma "Sailor Moon" Saotome from Fission. That sort of thing.

Basically, I'm going to convince my monkey brain that it's ALL just one, massive, ongoing "novel" and the dopamine will flow forever so long as the writing does, too.

Will it work? We'll see if it did based on how quickly I can get Ch. 9 out. 😋

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cmbdragon98 · 1 month

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Please tell us more about how your wife tricked you into dating her

So, setup, details all under cut, cuz it's a bit lengthy. Fun story though!

Tumblr circa 2015. Junior year of high school. I've convinced myself that dating is NOT for me, and that I should just wait until college to fuck around and find out. Just gone through a nasty little emotional breakup where in the near future, I'll wish that thar 2nd ever relationship was simply, entirely expunged from my life.

Paige, known as benedict-cutiebatch here, makes a post about being bored and wanting asks sent her way. Send your best pickup line. This was back when people sent eachother asks willy-nilly. I think, "Oh, sure, I've seen this person around, she seems alright. I'll send something funny and stupid, maybe make her laugh."

Send the "hot leg, hot hot leg" poem thing. She is so amused by it, she asks for my hand in marriage. Yaddayaddayadda, back and forth of just playing around pretend times. I have a lot of lighthearted fun. Cue the interaction ending, and us doing our separate things again. A week or so passes, and I've been specifically checking her blog. I don't do that with anybody else. This is a new habit I've picked up, because I loved the silly fake marriage tee hee haha joke.

Send an ask saying as such. She expresses similar sorta thing on her end. And we start talking again. Talking waaaayyy mooorree.

We talk fully through the night. No sleep. We talk fully through that next day. Eventually we exchange Skypes, because that's what everyone did in 2015. Flirting through the roof. Terribly blatant. Oml. But we're not dating, we're just. Completely all up in eachother. And I'm perfectly convinced that this girl probably just wants to enjoy the fun of somebody being bluntly into her, but not actually follow through further then that, and we'd just remain terribly forward friends with eachother, and that's how life goes sometimes.

Until I recieve an anon ask, that basically asks if me and her are dating and how c u t e we both seem to be, and I Assume that this is an unrelated third party, because, again. It was just waaay more common to recieve asks like that, back when I was a teenager. I respond to it all...

"L o l, naaahh.... b u t... It's not a Bad Idea.... 👀"

Anon sends another ask all... You should! You should try asking!

I think nothing of it, I take it as quite genuine advice that I do frankly agree with. And so. That's what my ass did. Asked Paige out in the most goofy, awkward way, after sending her screenshots of the anons, all "Haha, omgg, isn't this just sOoOoOo CrazyYyYy?? How Silly, hahaha.......... Unless.....?"

Fast forward like 2 years later into us being together, she's visiting me while I'm at college, we've Been seeing eachother, we've been having fun! So much fun!

She's sat on my lap while we're waiting on a ride back to my home, outside at a table and chairs; my ass fucking commuted. It's winter, and terribly cold in NY. I'm holding her close, and she starts saying something like... "Hey, you wanna hear something kinda fucked up...?"

I'm intrigued, of course, I'm like. Shoot, okay! I'm all ears.

Tells me that She was the one who sent those anons, and that she had a feeling I wouldn't Just Ask without being prompted. She, as she put it herself, lied to and tricked me. And she's clearly all broken up over it a bit, because she's sounding so hesitant as she tells me it.

I just sigh, hug her tighter, and I'm honest. Recalling best I can, I think it was something along the lines of...

"Thank goodness you did that, because you were totally right. I was too nervous otherwise, to just do that myself. And I would've kept on thinking you only wanted somebody to flirt with. I liked you too much. I didn't want to accidentally ruin anything between us."

Poor thing starts crying. So I just keep holding her, and telling her I love her, and that I'm r e a l l y not upset, after she says she was so worried that I would be, that I'd hate her, or think our relationship was built on a lie. I just see it as a perfectly reasonable thing to do, when someone too stuck in not doing the wrong thing, is too afraid to just ask for what she wants.

So yeah, basically, I got led into a relationship with a carrot and then a box slammed down around me, and I was completely chill with it the entire time. I truly was just having a blast.

#liveblogging #ask #timetodiverge #wifey #lmaooo i love retelling this story even though im certain my forgetful ass has probably left out a detail here or there #it's fiiiineee

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okay-j-hannah · 1 year

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Hii hannah! I'm bout three months late because i had exams going on, well, I still have exams going on but I decided to not procrastinate and just write this.

Thank you so so much for writing my tenth doctor and rory requests. you don't know how much it means that you took time out of your life to write my requests. when I first started watching Doctor who, barely a season in, i stumbled upon your blog and read your dying girl story, i didn't even know anything properly bout doctor's character or other companions but your fic though! it captured doctor's character so well! It was in May I read it and started watching the show and I now always connect that time with doctor who and you and your fics haha.

I got so obsessed that I made this dying girl reader universe in my head with headcanons and stuff and started associating songs to the reader and fic ; i know they are like kinda popular cliche songs but snowman by sia and never be the same by camila cabelo really reminds me of the amy and rorys wedding scene with reader and doctor dancing (was it real or I made that up in my head?) and memory of reader practising mind reading thing and seeing memories of Doctor and she's like who's this beautiful person in his memories and doctor is like that's you love <3 moonlight serenade, spring waltz, we'll meet again, moon river, across the universe are some other songs I associate with them,, you didn't even ask for playlist but here I'm sharing it just because lmao

and then you wrote my ten request and added it dying girl universe, when I tell you actually started screaming from excitement when I saw it! I really wasn't expecting it, i was so so happy! And Idk why but I just feel so honoured that my request was added into the "official" dying girl universe masterlist! and the rory fic too, it was so sweet! you wrote it exactly as what I had in my mind when I sent you request, tysm for that!

Ngl I always checked your page once in a while when you were on break because I just looked forward to your writing so much and in January, around my birthday, found out you were active again and posted my requests and gotta say, best birthday gift even if it technically wasn't lol. I wonder if you've finished twelve's episodes, you mentioned how it is hard to "let go" of a doctor and I completely agree, I finishesed twelfth doctors episodes in December and God was it hard to say goodbye to him, I know I can rewatch but it won't be like first time :'( you know, the "i love my current doctor so much" feeling?

I've started thirteen but it doesn't feel the same, especially without murray gold's music and well, moffat and rtd. so glad that rtd is coming back for new seasons though!

Oh and have you read love is a choice fic on tumblr? it's a mostly eleven but also kinda thirteen x reader multiple parts series and tbh, one of the only fic that made me laugh and cry like dying girl series did. if you haven't i hope you check it out, it's a great read!

Kinda unrelated but can I just say ty to that person who sent you ask related to will turner, i recently watched one of the potc movie for the first time because i thought the will turner guy looked cute from the ask and now ive fallen down a rabbit hole lol I finished your will turner fics and now im searching up tumblr for more will turner x reader, it seems he's my new hyperfixation 😭 anyways ty again to that person and you ofc for the fics, and this is not a official request(it could be ig) but I hope you write second part to the merchant/pirate will fic!

And I've sent you two requests this time too, hope you'll like them enough to write it! I know I've said it lot in this single ask but Again thank you so much for everything and it's great to have you back on here and I hope you enjoyed your break, remember to take them again if you need to <333

My darling, my dearest, my love, you're making my heart so so happy!

I love that you took off with the Dying Girl universe because honestly that's what it became for me while I was writing it. It became so big I knew I could write so much about what happens in between the parts, and your request fit perfectly there.

Thank you for the playlist 😂 it does kind of bring the characters more to life when you associate them with things like songs. And you definitely didn't make up the wedding dancing scene, that happened in Part 6: The Lost Shoes!

I totally understand finding yourself fully immersed in a story, even if it is fanfiction. When that happens to me I just write and post it on here 😅 That's happened with the Dying Girl and the episodic series I started for the Eleventh Doctor and the Samwise Gamgee series and this Mandalorian one I'm starting.

My brain is hardwired to come up with these random tangents to canon stories, and they end up becoming these elaborate fanfictions.

I'm so glad you liked your requested fics! I had a lot of fun writing them. The Domestic fic was so fun to get back into the Dying Girl universe. I wouldn't mind writing more about their in between adventures. Happy belated birthday!

I have not finished twelves episodes - I'm still on his last season. Just like I wrote on our last conversation, I'm terrified of how sad I'll feel when he leaves because ten and eleven were real heartbreakers. I agree, I love him, and I'm so excited you requested something for him.

And I'm also so stoked for the new seasons with RTD and the 60th specials with ✨David Tennant✨ I'll have to finish twelve and thirteen before that comes out at the end of this year.

I haven't read "Love is a Choice" but I immediately looked it up and added it to my likes, so perhaps it'll be the fanfics I read when I try to sleep tonight lol

And I'm sorry... you hadn't seen any of the Pirates of the Caribbean!? I've been watching those movies since I was like seven! It's such a great fandom and Jack Sparrow is such a mood and Will Turner is such a dreamboat.

I'm almost honored that my blog prompted you to watch such an excellent franchise. I also hyperfixate on new characters and fandoms I love. I do have one request in my inbox for Will Turner and I've gotten multiple messages to write a part 2 for A Merchant Sailor, so perhaps when I finish this batch of requests I'll add it to the list.

So do expect more Will Turner fics to come 😘

I love that we have this little pen pal relationship where we just write each other letters 😂 It's honestly really good to hear from you, mysterious anon. I'm happy to have you as a reader and fandom friend.

Thank you for reaching out! I definitely love your requests! It'll just take me a while to get to all of them with my busy schedule, but I will write them in due course.

Have a lovely night and a good morning!

Prologue: The Dying Girl

Part 1: The Sun God

Part 2: The Tonic

Part 3: The Ending Song

Domestic: The Doctor returns to spend a few ‘human’ days with you {Set during Part 3}

Part 4: The Dream

Part 5: The Regeneration

Part 6: The Lost Shoes

Epilogue: The Vanishing Act

Finale: All Of Time And Space

A Merchant Sailor: Pretending to be a merchant, you befriend Will Turner as you keep your pirating a secret, until your brother forces you to reveal the truth

Blacksmith’s Hands: While visiting Tortuga, you find yourself injured and in the capable hands of a shy Will Turner

Lovey Dovey: Jack has never been overjoyed at the thought of you and your boyfriend - especially when you’re kissing on his ship

Sea Salt: On a mission to get you back, more might happen between you two than expected

#tenth doctor x reader #eleventh doctor x reader #twelfth doctor x reader #will turner x reader #okayjhannah question #okayjhannah #anon ask okay j hannah #okayjhannah answer #okay j hannah #hannahbeartalks #fandomfantasia

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