#the sith are hilariously pathetic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

silver-wield · 9 months

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Kotaku is an outlet banned by square enix right? That's what I've seen back in april at least. Im asking because there's a clerith on twitter defending aerith from her questionable attitude with barret. Then they post a clearly biased translation by kotaku of the scenes on which the video is explaining the "right" translation. Perhaps their translation is right but is the interpretation correct? I never heard aerith to be equated to having a high EQ, if she did she wouldn't be willfully making the people around her feel uncomfortable like with cloud and tifa in OG and/or in remake. She's an insult to people with high EQ, high EQ people are sensitive, careful, and wise. A side note as well, they really do love to hold onto cait sith for confirmation huh? Even if this sham directly says that cloud is madly in love with aerith, should that really hold any value at all? He doesn't even know what's up with anyone really, And for someone to be called as "to loose someone so precious" cloud went idgaf afterwards her death. He was honestly really chill, he even went snowboarding chill (lol). It even took him 2 years and a sickness to remember, "oh yeah I have survivor's guilt". So precious that he couldn't even visit her grave and decided to pop his cherry with his true love under the highwind. Whatever, the mistranslation isn't even a big to begin with, I still don't think it's good what she did and Tifa has the right to call what she did as harsh, does this girl ever know how to read people properly? She just likes to assume that she made the right choice with barret, just like how wrong she is when she thought she can save the world on her own. Aerith, people forget that she lacked so much social skills and human interaction, if she didn't, why doesn't she have any friends then? Either way these cleriths are hilarious for accusing clotis of jerking off to mistranslations, projection much?

Ps. Im so stupid to look at the comment section on that yt vid. But seeing someone say jp translation is super pro clerith just because kotaku says so is hardcore peek cope. What is it with cleriths and missing critical thinking. Cait sith, mcdo, lego, kotaku, other unofficial platforms or sources are their only confirmations? My man, that's PATHETIC af.

That's the weird clerith dude who screams "I LOVE HER!!!" every time Aerith appears right? He didn't even bother to translate the entire game, despite saying he would. He only went up to Aerith's death and acted like the rest of the game is an afterthought where nothing happens. He's also very insulting to Tifa.

His translation may be useful for those small sections where he isn't a rabid garbage bag trashing Tifa and Zack and lying about Cloud's feelings, but in general it's total shit.

And yeah, the Cait Sith thing is just lame. Who takes Reeve's robot as a valid source over Cloud literally telling Tifa she's his reason for everything? And let's not forget they fucked, live together and have kids.

SE doesn't endorse anything that kotaku idiot says. They have their own sources and those all support everything clotis say because we don't fuck up the plot. We don't need to 🤷

#ship war #for the fandom

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blackkatmagic · 2 years

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my favorite thing about palpatine is that most legends/eu sith emperors make him look pathetic. oh, he did what, took over the republic? destroyed the jedi? he's dead in 25 years (killed by his own apprentice!), and there's a new republic and a new jedi order not long after the body's cold. he's responsible for almost unfathomable suffering, yeah, but he's also a total failure and i'll never understand the dudebro fans that say he's sooo cool

It's kind of hilarious, ngl. Plus his Death Star is incredibly pathetic in comparison to a lot of older Sith superweapons. Like, Sith from a thousand years ago would probably call it cute.

#kat answers

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nny11writes · 3 years

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I didn't know you were taking prompts!!! But if you still are — “I’ll always be here for you.” for Obi-Wan and Ahsoka?

My dear, my inbox is ALWAYS open for prompts, I swear half my fics are prompt fics lol!

For anyone confused or wanting to play you can send in a Fluff Prompt or a Cuddling Prompt an Angst Prompt (I swear I reblogged a list of those and I know I posted fic for it, but now I can’t find the list????) or just something you’d like me to write! Sentence starters, fic titles, etc etc etc. :D

Also, forgive me, there’s a tiny bit of angst in this because suddenly it became canon to the Twilight Sith!Soka AU but it’s still mostly fluff!

Ahsoka cursed softly as she stared at the unmarked tea box. It wasn’t like her day hadn’t already been frustrating enough but to get so close to her daily allotted dose of poison only to cruelly have it ripped away from her...it was nearly the last straw. She tilted it to pour a few leaves out and hummed thoughtfully as she sniffed and poked at them, as if she was versed enough to know just from that what kind of tea it was. Brilliant, she’d just have to waste some to find out.

“Rooibos I’m afraid,” Obi-Wan chuckled lightly from behind her, a small wash of blue light poked around Ahsoka’s arms before he moved to her side. “This is not the tea you’re looking for.”

She slowly, carefully, put the lid back on and then proceeded to tap it against her forehead in a satisfying thwaping sound.

“Mmm, quite.” He chuckled.

It turned out that Anakin was not the only Force ghost alive. Alive? Ahsoka squinted at the tin again, frowning at her bony fingers as she took a deep breath. Existing maybe, arguably alive. But where Anakin had only had the bravery to face her that first time on his own terms, always deferring to her after she’d left Dagobah, Obi-Wan had no such compunction.

Which was wildly hilarious if she thought about it too long. Anakin Skywalker being polite and overly formal while Obi-Wan Kenobi often just waltzed into her life without a care before vanishing again.

“This one here,” one of his incorporeal hands poked at another unmarked tin, “Strong enough to keep me up a whole day, and bitter enough that I wouldn’t waste it.” Somehow his eyes managed to twinkle through the glowing. “So it should suit you just perfectly.”

She snorted, one hand covering her eyes as she tried to not smile. Damn him. “I am not that bitter.”

His eyebrows shot towards his receding hairline as he stared her down.

Bastard. “...anymore,” she grumbled while switching to the other tin.

Inside of this one is a much smaller leaf with the occasional spot of gray among the brown. Like the whole hut, the tin was covered in dust but the inside is pristine. Obi-Wan may have given up many comforts while living on Tatooine, but apparently suffering stale tea was not one of them. A small sniff almost makes her gag, it’s overwhelming. Smoke and funk and stinky feet.

“You drank this?” Ahsoka asked, aghast on his behalf.

Obi-Wan smiled benevolently as he sat on the counter, shifting slowly as the memories came to him until there was no longer an old man but a young one instead. She will never say it, but Ahsoka likes when he changes to look like this. Like her best memories of him.

“I got tired of Cody stealing my kaf, so I got creative.”

The faintest smile tugged at her lips. “I see, and now decades later you’re trying to kill me.”

He tilted his head back to look at her literally down his nose. “You are the one who calls caffeine poison. I’m merely assisting.”

“Too much of it kills you and it developed so animals wouldn’t eat it,” Ahsoka shrugged but still went about preparing the pot, “therefore, poison.”

The spoon she was using to measure the leaves out passed through his armor covered hand before she dropped the remaining leaves back into the tin and sealed it. Apparently the limit for three cups of tea was pitiful.

“Oh don’t pout, you’ll thank me later.”

“I do not pout.” Ahsoka grumbled as she waited for the water to boil.

As they lapsed into a comfortable silence Obi-Wan slowly changed back to the age he was when he died. Slain by Vader she’d learned, almost backsliding as the rage and horror and pain washed over her. Her fury nearly boiled over at her grandmaster’s flippant, “Well I did tell Anakin not to do it, but he never did like listening to me.” She’d yelled and he’d left, and then a few weeks later he returned to point out an error in her paperwork.

And then a few days after that to mock her pitiful attempt at cooking. A few weeks after that he popped by to chat. Months later he scared the kriff out of her while she’d been on the fresher and he simply vanished into a mortified mist.

But more and more he came all the same. Usually to chatter idly with her, but sometimes to assist her.

Like now.

Ahsoka had come back to Tatooine to gather whatever might be left of Obi-Wan’s corporeal life. It had mostly been as a distraction while Barriss was meeting with the boy. She carefully put the tin back down and made sure to not lose control of her grip and dent it. Barriss was off meeting with Skywalker and Ahsoka had known that trying to stay home would be foolish. So she came here instead to pack and clean and sell the place if possible. She wasn’t surprised that he would show himself here, it was his home after all.

All the same.

“Why are you here?” She finally asked, making sure to keep her eyes trained onto the pathetically slow burner.

There was a pause before he asked, voice soft and small. “Do you want me to leave?”

She snorted again and glared at him, “What did I just ask you?”

Obi-Wan shifted a bit. Hair growing and thinning, wrinkles coming and going, but his eyes always sharp and bright. “...two reasons. The first, well, simply put I had a promise to keep with you that I failed at rather spectacularly.”

At her confused look he paused again, before smiling warmly, “I did say I’d always be there for you.”

It was kind of funny that her first thought was about how she thought she’d lost the ability to blush, all the burst capillaries in her face over the years and training should’ve stopped something so obvious. But the way he said it, the genuineness she felt in the Force, she was flushed from head to toe. The wiggling feeling in her chest wasn’t discomfort though, no it was...goodness, it was warmth. She didn’t know how to explain it. The soft edges of the feeling and the energy behind it.

She returned his smile with as much of the strange gooey feeling as she could before looking back at the burner, of course since she’d been distracted the water was now boiling. She pulled it off the heat and waited until the bubbling settled to pour. “And the second reason?”

“Yes, the more pressing one.” He didn’t even give her a half second to tense up. “I missed you.”

“...you missed me?”

Obi-Wan frowned at her, befuddled before answering. “Of course.”

Like it was just that simple.

Ahsoka counted down the seconds until she could take the leaves out, reaching through the Force to him. Cradling the feeling of his presence as best she could with her own.

Maybe it was.

She poured her first cup and without allowing herself too much time to smell took a sip. It was as awful as it smelled. The second sip was no better. The third was somehow worse. But with the stimulant hitting her system Ahsoka found she didn’t care that much.

She still tilted her cup towards him. “I understand you want to spend more time with me, but killing me isn’t the way to do it old man.”

Obi-Wan laughed, fingers lacing together over his stomach.

The rest of her time there, he hovered by her side with a bland smile to cover his vicious barbs, and occasionally commented on her stimulant addiction with too much glee.

She was going to miss him when she left.

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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Aria and D'leah for World-building Wednesday~ darth bagel sends their regards ❤️✨

Thank you for the ask @elvhenyoung ! (Darth Bagel is, as always, very welcome too hehe 💖) I also went Subterfugeverse only here for D’leah, so didn’t include any of the kids like Maite etc. who only appear in the Zephyrverse RP AU :’) But anyways, here you go! The two mean ladies, just for you :3

(art by @ ocellifera on deviantART! :))

B A S I C S

full name: Aria Saal-Shenly, goes by Ari to her partner and close friends, to everyone else she’s Darth Canis or Commander Canis.

gender: Cis Female

sexuality: Demiromantic pansexual

pronouns: She/Her

O T H E R S

family: Myala Thulie (mother, deceased), Roan Saal “Darth Noctis” (father, deceased), Vano Saal-Shenly (Wife), Merak Shenly (Brother-in-law), Ziv’erikreen (Adopted younger sister)

birthplace: Onderon

job: Co-Commander of the Eternal Alliance, formerly Barsen’thor of the Jedi Order (and secretly a Sith Assassin working as a sleeper agent ;))

phobias: Death/dying

guilty pleasures: Alcohol, Vano (yeah it’s not technically, but Aria considers her wife as such XD)

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: Chaotic Neutral (don’t spend too much time trying to figure her out, you’ll hurt yourself hahaha)

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: Leans slightly more towards introvert, but can be either/or depending on who she’s with.

organized/disorganized: Aria is best described as “organised chaos”.

close minded/open-minded: Mostly open-minded, but Aria can have her moments where she’s harder to shift than a bantha with a sore head.

calm/anxious: She has a set few situations which will make her feel quite anxious, but overall Aria is pretty “calm”, though I wouldn’t use the word specifically for her, and a more accurate description would be “she just doesn’t give a shit”. XD

disagreeable/agreeable: Unless your name is Vano or Saarai, good luck getting her to see things your way :’)

cautious/reckless: Can be either, but leans slightly more towards cautious, particularly in fights

patient/impatient: She hasn’t got a lot of patience, unless you’re paying her to wait (with a lot of zeroes on the end too!), she’s not going to. Simple as that.

outspoken/reserved: That running mouth of hers has gotten Aria both into and out of trouble more times than she can count.

leader/follower: Aria is a natural-born leader and doesn’t take very well to anyone telling her what to do. To this date the only people who’s orders she does/has followed are: Roan, Vano and Saarai.

empathetic/unemphatic: Okay so this one might be surprising, but Aria is actually pretty empathetic, she’s just really fucking awful at being sympathetic! She picks up on other’s emotional states pretty well and is very good at reading people, she’s just...not good at not hurting their feelings lol

optimistic/pessimistic: A weird mix of both, to the tune of “well, this can’t possibly get any worse now, at least, right?”

traditional/modern: Mostly modern, with a dash of old Sith traditions taught to her by daddy dearest.

hard-working/lazy: Not much to say about this one, it’s pretty self-explanatory!

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: Aria/Vano, obviously! :P

ot3: if Vano wasn’t so possessive/jealous, I think Vano/Aria/Saarai would have been a hilariously chaotic trio (poor Vano though, dear god XD)

brotp: Aria & Qyzen, Aria & Merak & Ziri

notp: Aria/Tharan Cedrax (dude she’s not into you take the hint), Aria/Felix Iresso (sweetie you’re too good for her I’m sorry ;-;)

(art is by @varjopihlaja :D)

B A S I C S

full name: D’leahane Ahaszaai, though went most often by D’leah to those closest to her

gender: Cis Female

sexuality: Heterosexual

pronouns: She/Her

O T H E R S

family: Are you ready for this? It was a big family before Valkorion killed ‘em XD all are deceased now except for Abaron, Vowrawn, Paa, Saarai & Ni’kasi and their respective children. Vastas and Saa’thri (father and mother respectively), Duuma (”older” twin brother), Vowrawn (younger brother), Abaron Ahaszaai (brother-in-law, Vowrawn’s husband), two unnamed sister-in-laws (Duuma’s wives), unnamed nieces and nephews (Duuma + wives’ children), Kissai Ahaszaai (Husband), Paalea Izreni (Sister-in-law, Kissai’s half-sister), Saarai & Ni’kasi Ahaszaai (Twin daughters), Ty, Nawâ (grandsons), Kadebre, Hyala (granddaughters)

birthplace: Medriaas (now Nathema)

job: Sith Lord, High Lady of House Ahaszaai, former Heiress to the Sith Throne

phobias: Failure, her biggest fear was failing to protect her daughters from Valkorion, all of them dying and what little remained of the “original” Sith Empire being lost forever with them.

guilty pleasures: romantic poetry (Kissai wasn’t particularly smart but he was a romantic at heart and he used to write her a lot of poetry, other than the twins, after he died it was the only part of “him” she had left ;-;)

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: Lawful Evil

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: Very much an introvert, D’leah prefers to keep to herself so you better stay out of her personal space bubble.

organized/disorganized: Organized to the point of being eerily terrifying, to be honest. She’s got a plan, and a contingency plan, and you can bet everything is exactly where it should be when it should be there.

close minded/open-minded: Not very responsive to new ideas or ways of life, she clings to what she knows like her life depends on it.

calm/anxious: Generally speaking, quite calm. Although after Valkorion happened and her husband and most of her family were killed, she gradually became more anxious, eventually to the point of paranoia, only wanting to keep the girls safe.

disagreeable/agreeable: It’s her way or the highway, and you will not get her to concede otherwise for as long as either of you live. XD

cautious/reckless: D’leah never does anything without thinking it through first. If it’s too dangerous, she’s not doing it and there isn’t anything you can do or say to convince her. She’s nope’ing out of there faster than you can say “but”.

patient/impatient: Exceedingly so. D’leah has the patience of a saint, it doesn’t matter how long something takes. She can wait it out.

outspoken/reserved: D’leah is generally a silent observer, when she speaks it’s only after collecting every bit of information she possibly can to make the most concise point(s) possible.

leader/follower: She’s the boss. That’s it, no negotiations. She’s in charge, you do what she says or Force help you. XD

empathetic/unemphatic: Very unempathetic. She calls herself a “realist” but honestly she’s just kinda mean. Aww, you got shot? Stop crying about it and walk it off, you big baby!

optimistic/pessimistic: Again, she calls herself a “realist”, but always tends to assume (and plan for) the worst. It’s happened to her enough times now *gestures at hecked up face and dead family* XD)

traditional/modern: A staunch and stubborn traditionalist, you will pry these traditions from her cold, dead hands.

hard-working/lazy: She’s a lady, she’s not meant to do hard work, she has every capacity to order someone else to do it for her and she intends to do just that!

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: D’leah/Kissai forever <3

ot3: Hahahaha no, no. She’s far too possessive to share :’)

brotp: D’leah & Paa, D’leah & Abaron

notp: D’leah/anyone else, tbh. It’s Kissai or nobody for her ;)

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deepseacritter · 4 years

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I finally started playing light side characters in SWTOR. The different storylines are fun, but I love the ones that overlap with the dark side stories (after chapter 3). Jedi falling in love with Theron Shan, the son of Jedi Grand Master Satele Shan? That is just 1) hilarious and 2) entertaining. Said Jedi having slightly dark side tendencies? Makes for a great story that I haven’t seen from the Sith side of things. Like the “Less talk, more Theron” dialogue (which is an actual choice in the game) between my Jedi and Revan...

Theron Shan, abducted by the Revanites, is being held prisoner in a secure(-ish) compound. The Jedi, who has definitely very much formed an attachment to Theron, is on a mission to rescue him. The Jedi is confronted by Revan via holo, and the essential “bad guy explains plot to hero” talk ensues. But the Jedi only has one thing on their mind.

Jedi: Where’s Theron?

Revan: Ah, Jedi. I have spoken at length with my blood, trying to get him to join my cause. You have lost Jedi. Your pathetic attempts to stop me have failed. I will eliminate both the Jedi and Sith and in their place a new order, my order, will arise—

Jedi: Listen, I don’t care about all of that. I want to know where Theron is. I will destroy everyone and burn this place to the ground if you don’t tell me where Theron is right now.

Revan: ... ... ...

Revan: Well, this is interesting.

#swtor #jedi knight #theron shan #revan is probably thinking hey i knew a jedi like that a loooong time ago

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starwarsfic · 4 years

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Odious.16

Originally posted September 20, 2020

Summary: Anakin forces Sidious to consider Obi-Wan in a new light.

Details: Sidious/Obi-Wan. A non-cracky sequel to I.27.

xxxxxx

Sidious supposed it was good luck that Anakin was awful at reading others, because when he'd been absolutely infuriated by Kenobi and Anakin had assumed he was attracted to him--it was almost too much not to break his facade.

Instead, he had to go along with it, acting like he had some pathetic school boy crush on the most insufferable Jedi he had to spend time around. And then spend more time around him, still, because Anakin thought he was doing them both a favor.

He killed an acolyte after that first "date," unable to contain his rage any longer. After that, the sniveling cowards tended to avoid him when he came home, as if that would somehow protect them.

If he had been less self-aware, he may have continued to believe he despised his time around Kenobi. However, knowing himself and his own motivations was part of being a Sith Lord, and dissecting his emotions during each luncheon with Kenobi was...telling.

He'd never actually spent much time with any of the Jedi (besides Anakin, who barely counted) outside of a work setting, but he didn't think any of them would be like Kenobi. He was intelligent, charming, sarcastic...when Sidious tested the waters by making a mildly disparaging remark about the Jedi Council, Kenobi had been right there with him, a sardonic slant to his eyes as he commiserated.

After five more dates, Sidious admitted he...didn't entirely hate Kenobi. Was spending time thinking up new places to go or sights to see with him while the position of Supreme Chancellor largely kept him on Coruscant. Obi-Wan's interests were far more diverse than Anakin's, some even including hobbies that Sidious actually enjoyed.

It also pleased him that the mood he was in after his dates was so unnerving to his acolytes. One had to find amusement where they could, while at the head of a centuries-long plot.

"Truthfully, I went along with this to appease Anakin," Obi-Wan confessed a few months after their relationship had started, "and I'm not looking forward to how smug he will be over being right. However...I am glad we gave each other a chance, Sheev."

"As am I," Sidious had easily agreed, reaching across the narrow space between their chairs in the private box they sat in, lacing his fingers through Obi-Wan's.

Love was not a particularly Sithly emotion, but passion was, and Sidious knew they would get their soon enough. It was not only his teachings that had left Anakin so wonderfully close to Falling, after all.

As the war started to swing in the Republic's favor, he picked up the pace in their relationship, inviting Obi-Wan to spend various nights at his home, setting aside a place for him to keep changes of clothing and personal affects. Sidious decided that directly using the Force against Obi-Wan might be too much of a risk, but the subtle Dark tides of his home and the artifacts hidden there would help increase his influence, even if they wouldn't have such strong effects as potions and spells might.

Late at night, often just before Obi-Wan was sent back out to battle (which was happening less often due to Sidious' manipulations of the Senate battle plans), they spoke of what their lives might be like, after. Obi-Wan admitted he thought he was only allowed this relationship because of the war, once it was won he'd either need to leave Sidious or leave the Order.

Sidious found it hilarious, though he never showed that. No, Obi-Wan would have no choice--there would be no Order after the war, only Sidious.

#ship: odious #character: sheev palpatine #character: obi wan kenobi #character: anakin skywalker #theme: sith #theme: clone wars

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sithsdoinshit · 4 years

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what do all the siths (other than quizzy, of course) think of the inquisitorius?

note: since i have not played fallen order yet, i only have knowledge of the inquisitorius based on star wars rebels, the vader comics, and the dark temple comic

vader: they are a bunch of Clowns, but at least they do what he tells them to do and pay him a modicum of respect. kinda. ninth needs some... help in that category.

sidious: same as vader, though he takes great joy in watching them run amok and bicker amongst each other. disappointing when they die, but at least it’s kinda hilarious how pathetic they are

maul: takes great pleasure in annoying fifth, seventh, and eighth in particular. (”hello, seventh. remember when you were outmatched by a young boy? good times.”) the inquisitorius are alright, but he’s not very impressed.

savage: well, they’re better company than asajj’s nightsister friends, that’s for sure. awkwardly stands between his brother and seventh as they trade insults, not sure what to do, until fifth tiptoes over and introduces himself.

asajj: they’re certainly interesting to talk to. different personalities and species with different stories to tell. seventh in particular is good conversation. she wonders if she would have become an inquisitor, had things gone differently... asajj isn’t sure she likes that idea.

dooku: really, sidious? not only did you replace him with vader, but you trained all these hooligans in the dark side, too? he’s insulted by the very idea of the inquisitorius, but also very intrigued.. these were all people he might have known back in the temple. hmm.

kylo: ha! these nerf-herders don’t even compare to his knights of ren. disorganized, unloyal, and---worst of all---severely lacking in style. please. ninth in particular is on his shitlist for being a bitch to grandpa.

nihilus: he wonders what it would have been like, to be part of a group.. sure, there was the triumvirate and his apprentice---former apprentice---but nothing like the inquisitors. he spends much of his time staring at them all in deep thought (”hey...grand..who’s that?” “oh, just our pet force abomination. feel free to say hello.”)

grievous: those scum think they can steal general grievous’ spinny lightsaber technique?? he perfected those moves, made them actually intimidating! he will NOT be outdone! (”oh my god the droid is glaring at me, grand--” “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME”)

lana: she was expecting a bit... more? from the associates of the grand inquisitor. so many brash, overconfident personalities.. no wonder quizzy is the leader.

#SHEEV YOU JACKASS #inquisitorius #darth vader #darth sidious #darth maul #savage opress #asajj ventress #dooku #kylo #darth nihilus #general grievous #lana beniko #star-wars-rebels-4 #ask

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padmsanakin · 4 years

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Silky brown hair wound into a bun, stray strands framed her face. Her warm amber brown eyes were inviting and kind.

Anakin never wanted to let go. His eyes were locked with hers, grass surrounded them and the wind was gentle against their skin.

Her smile could light up million more stars and Anakin couldn’t help but think that this was perfect.

***

Padme’s warm amber was now a vicious yellow. Her expression hardened as she saw Anakin. Anakin looked heart-broken, shocked, surprised.

“Anakin,” Padme began silkily.

Anakin’s jaw was set in determination,”I am going to save you Padme, no matter what!”

Padme raised her eyebrows, she straightened her posture. She carried a sort of regalness as she walked towards the man she loved. Padme sensed the uncertainty and fear in Anakin. She was unflinching and headstrong. She knew what she was doing.

Darth Sidious had told her that this was for the greater good. She can bring peace, security and freedom to her Empire.

Anakin was in a defensive stance, his blue lightsaber acting as a barrier between them.

”Anakin, we don’t need to be on opposite sides. We can leave our lives behind, raise Luke and Leia together...we can be emperor and empress!”

Anakin’s heart clenched as he looked at the woman he loved. All the warmth and kindness had drained away from her, leaving anger and fear.

”Why are you doing this, Padme? I thought we were happy with what we had! We could stop this right now and return to the light side! Take care of Luke and Leia!”

”Anakin… I turned to the dark side to protect all of you! From my people to you, I can bring back democracy!” Padme frowned, her hands fingering the hilt. However, she stood tall, her chin held up.

This was for the greater good. The Jedi were ruining the galaxy. She knew what she was doing.

Padme swiftly took out her lightsaber from the holster as red and blue clashed. The lightsabers whirred and whined.

Deft strokes of red and some parries from blue, blocking the red lightsaber from cutting through. They clashed once more, locked in earnest before parting once more.

Anakin gave a pained expression to his wife. He held his lightsaber tighter.

”I can’t believe this… Darth Eeris,”

Padme’s expression darkened, her lips contorted into a frown at the mention of her Sith name.

Jedi are evil. I do not fear the dark side. I will embrace this. Only my powers can save my family, my friends and my people.

Anakin swiftly began rotating and swinging his lightsaber, Padme stepped back, dodging with her lightsaber. The contrasting colors clashed, a sharp reminder of the opposite sides they were on.

Anakin’s heart pounded. The lava roared and so did Padme’s anger. Her stark yellow eyes glaring at him, anger still very apparent.

The lightsabers begin with a flurry of movements. They whirred and they were once more locked together for a split second before Padme struck a blow. Anakin blocked it, flipping back. Their lightsabers were soon a splash of colors like a lightshow during Life Day. Anakin looked at Padme, Padme looked back.

Their lightsabers locked together for a nice few seconds, before Anakin took an opportunity to twirl his lightsaber in a daring attack

Spinning was always a good trick, Anakin had said many times.

Colors clashed as the lava crashed against the red molten rocks. Lovers to Enemies, their gazes harsh and unyielding. Their love long forgotten. The force thrummed within their veins, one feeding on anger, the other feeding on hope.

Sith and Jedi, once lovers, the concept was hilarious. The sheer irony...they were supposed to be sworn enemies.A slave boy and a queen… poor and rich, Jedi and Sith, good and evil, masculine and feminine… they all said it would never last anyway.

In a painful way, it was true.

Opposite ends, pushed to their brink. Anakin and Padme’s plasma blades locked once more, one pushing the other further away from each other. Their teeth gritted, animosity radiated from them. Pushed back as their blades parted once more.

“I loved you, Padme. Always did...why?”

Anakin’s eyes glassy, all the starry eyed ambitions and child-like hope drained away from his eyes. It made Padme rethink her actions… almost.

Padme growled, unlike Anakin had seen her before. She was seething, her eyes glowed with fierceness. She sprinted head first, her red blade pointed towards him.

“I-I won’t fight you,”

Anakin’s blue blade vanished with a whine, he clipped the hilt to his belt. He closed his eyes. This was it. He was going to die.

The Chosen One. Hero with No Fear. The Last Hope. Gone.

However, the finishing blow never came. Just a strong gust of wind, his head hit against the wall, the sweet embrace of darkness coming over him and he grasped onto it. Giving up on the remaining life-force he had left.

The last thing he heard was someone shouting at him to stay awake and he felt himself drifting away.

Blackness.

***

Luke and Leia were wailing.

Anakin’s force signature was waning.

Obi Wan stood still, feeling detached and old.

He can’t believe it was Padme.

From being the mother to Anakin’s children and a sith.

For once, he felt there was no hope.

Luke and Leia continued wailing, they probably had sensed their father’s distressed state. They were not stopping no matter what.

Their little arms and legs were kicking, their cradles shaking.

They shrieked and wailed and Obi Wan wanted to too.

He crossed his fingers and he hoped Anakin would make it.

***

Padme strode forward, the legion of stormtroopers marching behind her like the obedient little clones they were. Padme had no respect for them. After all, they were unnatural. Padme enjoyed the united clatter of their footsteps as they walked to find any remaining Jedi that might have escaped Order 66.

This is so wrong. What am I doing?

Satisfaction pooled through her as yet, another Jedi had fallen. The once bright force began to diminish, tendrils of darkness taking hold of it. Padme clenched her fists as the Jedi Padawan begged for mercy, her grip tightened and she heard gagging noises and silence. The child fell down, right onto her master.

Padme smiled sardonically.

You have become the very thing you have sworn to destroy.

Blood of millions smeared in her hand. Something about that was fulfilling. The anger, the fear, the violence...they felt...right. She felt powerful, strong, big, important!

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

No, no! NO! That was not true. This was the best she felt in years.

How about Anakin?

He meant nothing to her.

Padme walked away, she turned her lightsaber off. She motioned her troops to split and look for any other Jedi. Padme walked and walked and walked. She did not know where she was going. But, there was something about the particular path she was taking.

The Force was calling to her.

She stopped when she looked at a familiar face.

No, not Anakin...Obi Wan.

Padme did not flinch or move, her red blade still ignited. Her gaze darkened. It was him. He who turned Anakin against her. He ruined her plan. A newfound fury erupted from her very core, it made her feel powerful and rejuvenated.

Obi Wan steadied himself, in his grip was his own lightsaber. He had a tight expression on his face. It betrayed displeasure, anger and sadness. And yet, it was kind of pathetic of him for not using those feelings.

However, Padme had other plans. She disengaged her sanguine lightsaber, the man looked visibly confused. It seems as if he was not making an effort to hide his emotions. Padme stood tall in her black robes.

She looked so different from what Obi Wan had known her for. Once she was wearing elaborate, elegantly colored dresses and now, she was wearing dark robes, her yellow eyes stood out amongst them all.

“I don’t know you anymore,” Obi Wan’s gaze was steady, undisturbed.

If Anakin’s force signature was a windstorm, Padme’s one was a thunderstorm. The sheer power she emitted. Unchecked raw anger was flowing within her. Her power was raw, untamed… no wonder Sidious took her in.

“Obi Wan… I am still the same Padme you know,” Her voice was soft, sweet, enticing… Obi Wan shook his hand and yet, a small part of him wanted to believe her. However, she was the same woman who hurt Anakin way beyond what he knew.

Years of manipulation and betrayal is not something that can be forgotten within a day.

Padme was unflinching, her hand outstretched as if she was expecting him to accept her hand. Obi Wan hesitated, his eyes darting from Padme’s hand to the unmoving Master-Padawan Duo on the floor.

“I sense your hesitation,”

Padme’s voice was calm, like the wind before a tornado. Obi Wan’s heart pounded against his chest. If another Jedi was here, they would be ashamed of him. Obi Wan reached out, slowly and carefully.

His hand touched Padme’s soft and rosy palms. It was cold. Obi Wan waited for the fatal strike but it never came.

“Wise choice, Master Kenobi,” She purred. Something that she usually would have reserved for Anakin but it’s not like Anakin would know…

***

Padme’s apartment smelt of fresh violets and peaches.There was no sign of Anakin that would have given away he lived here except for one tiny detail. It could have been easily overlooked if it were not for the fact that he knew Anakin from young.

The clutter of mechanical tools and the spare parts could have been easily attributed to Padme being a natural mechanic but Obi Wan knew that Padme was not much into tinkering as Anakin was. Padme gestured to Obi Wan to take a seat as Padme poured a cup of Jogan fruit juice into a clear glass.

Padme took a seat next to Obi Wan. She took a sip from her cup as Obi Wan eyed his skeptically. After all the unscrupulous deeds she had done, can she really be forgiven?

Padme remained quiet, the lightsaber left on the top of her dresser. Obi Wan took a measured sip from the drink. It did not taste anything weird.

“It’s not poisoned if that’s what you are wondering,” Her voice was curt and professional. Obi Wan felt like a padawan all over again.

Clumsily, he put back the glass on the table, it clinked against the tray, disturbing the uneasy silence. Padme hummed to herself, something that sounded distinctly Nabooian, as if she was not a Sith Lord, Anakin was not injured, and everything was normal.

However, her dark cloak proved otherwise.

“Obi Wan, I would like to ask you...it might be a little unorthodox considering you being a Jedi. Would you like to become a Sith? You may be able to escape this Order 66 and maybe, even become the Emperor’s right hand man?”

Obi Wan stopped, his mind screaming at him to run. His fight or flight response triggered as he stood up abruptly. Padme raised her eyebrows, her lips quirked into a frown.

“I assume not,” Padme asked. She reached for her lightsaber, her thumb brushing against the button.

Obi Wan’s comm beeped, a sigh of relief escaped from his lips.

#writing #fanfic #star wars #star wars prequels #sith padme #what have i done #please help #well uh-#the skywalkers will never have a happy ending amirite?

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clonetrooper1403 · 4 years

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About fallen order, what do you think?

I cannot talk about gameplay because I didn´t actually play it (yeah, yeah, I´m a poser) But I want to talk about the story.

SPOILER ALERT!

First of all, I LOVE IT! I thing is a relly cool story wich tie the clone wars with rebels and the original trilogy very well.

The plot is not really complex, and that´s a good thing because it shows how something simple can give you plenty of things.

We have the heroes, the mission and the goal, now its time to deal with the imps.

First we have Cal Kestis, the jedi survivor who hide in a scrap plant, trying to scape from his mistakes, his past and his legacy.

But of course is found...and since he remembers he need to trust in strangers and fight for something more than himself. I love how, after years of fear and hiding, you are not an experimented padawan anymore, so easy powers as pushs or telekenisis are not there yet...so you unlock them at the same time you advance, but not as a new lessons but a flashbacks, when Cal was a kid training with his master. In the end, of course he has to face his fears and doubs...and after fighting against his temptation and doubts he rises, as a true jedi...classy, yes, but being part of that rising is what makes it special.

Then is Cere Junda, another jedi survivor who, as Cal, lost her force conection because the fear and guilty.

She is the master and mother figure for Cal, but she is also someone who doesn´t have all the answers, is someone who, like Cal, learn and face her mistakes, and, bit by bit, rises as a jedi again.

Greez Dritus and BD-1 are the comedy relief but I think they deserve much more credit.

The droid is the key to unloack the tips and messages that makes you advance because he belongs to the jedi master whose investigation you need, beside, he gives you steams and medigel in the middle of a battle, wich is quite nice.

Green looks like the classy grumpy old man....and he kinda is, a former bettor with many bills. But after years of being only worried about himself he tried to fight for something bigger. After a couple of problems his doubs cost he open to Cal and confess...and honestly I kinda see a father-son relationship with those two, a dad who doesn´t get all that jedi nosense but try to support his son.

And last we have Merrin, the goth AF night sister from Dathomir.

Again, is someone who, like Cere and Cal, lives with fear, this time for her deadth sisters and the jedis who belived bring death to Dathomir but, again, baby steps, found new friends and family in your team.

This is the main story for me, like Rebels serie, a group of strangers, who become allies, who turn in to friends and ends like a family.

Another detail is that The Zeffo (and ancient civilitation who used the Force and need to learn about them) show us that jedi and sith are not the only ones who can use the force in a cultural way. It actually remind me the ancient Rakata Empire from the old SW canon (and is headcanon for me) who use the Force to conquest and war.

Of course we also have places we already knew and love likie Dathomir, Ilum or Kashyyyk but also discover some new places more like Bogano and Zeffo.

And at last, my favourite details in this game:

-We have a new lasat as Zeb, a jedi this time, Master Tapal

-We meet Saw Gerrera again an his radical movements.

-We dig deeper in Dathomir, the night sisters and that dark force energy.

-Hilarious and pathetic stormtroopers

-DARTH MOTHERF*KING VADER AND HIS SWAG STEALS ALMOST ALL THE GAME!!!! AND IS AWESOME!!!!!

-I ship CalxMerrin SO MUCH!

-The HU are now canon in SW universe and NO ONE can convince me other way (I can totally see Ezra and Sabine as fans)

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Thanks for bear the long post :)

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gffa · 5 years

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OKAY, THERE ARE FOUR WAYS TO MAKE A STORY LIKE THIS WORK, the idea of a series of five different stories in a mini-series about how Darth Vader is seen by the people around him. 1. A psychological study of the character. Which is pretty much what Dark Lord of the Sith did and I think a 25 issue series works far better for something like that anyway, rather than a mini-series. 2. An exploration of what a sad, pathetic garbage bag Darth Vader actually is. You can contrast it against what terrifying things he can accomplish, but you need a deft hand to show that it goes right along with the sad, monstrous, pathetic choices he made to get to where he is. 3. Make it so incredibly over the top that it goes from badass into being hilarious. Seeing Darth Vader being the most extra asshole cat in the galaxy can be amazing entertainment and I still maintain that issue #1 pulled that off really well. 4. A genuine exploration of how terrifying Darth Vader is to people who have no idea what’s going on behind that mask. This also requires a deft touch to not slide over into masculine power fantasy stuff. I really want to give this issue the benefit of the doubt, that it’s doing a combination of #3 and #4 deliberately, but I don’t think those two things go together very well. I can’t take Tylux seriously as someone driven to the brink of insanity over his fear of Darth Vader when it’s in the same issue as him LITERALLY RAMMING A STAR DESTROYER DOWN AN EXOGORTH’S THROAT AND SLAMMING THROUGH THE OTHER SIDE SO THE SHIP IS COVERED IN INTESTINES AND GORE. I just don’t see the two going together very well, no matter how it’s written. I don’t care about some obscure Imperial’s overdramatics when he’s not a character I have any emotional investment in or who is particularly cool. It’s the shadow of Vader that’s meant to be the real star, but that doesn’t mean much when he’s not actually on the page doing anything, and the antics are so exaggerated that I can’t take them seriously. Which means I can take any mental strain seriously, because that too is completely and utterly exaggerated. Yes, Darth Vader is legitimately terrifying, but this is just too much, there’s not enough deftness in the issue to make me care. As a follow up to what was a really genuinely fun first issue, this feels like a tribute to all of my least favorite things about Darth Vader--the idea that he’s badass and cool, that he’s a power fantasy, instead of a story about a sad garbage bag who is miserable. I would love to be talked around on this issue or to be wrong, I’ll certainly pick up the next issue next month, but if it tries to play the whole “is love enough to match the power of the dark side?” straight, I’m gonna make the writer go rewatch Revenge of the Sith, so they can understand that the movies already answered this question. IF ANAKIN SKYWALKER WOULDN’T TURN BACK FOR PADME OR OBI-WAN, HE’S NOT GOING TO TURN BACK FOR SOME RANDOM, SO THIS FUCKIN’ BETTER BE SOME HILARIOUS ONE-SIDED SHIT.

#anakin skywalker #comics #meta #reading comics: dark visions #wednesday spoilers

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zenosanalytic · 4 years

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THE SACRED TEXTS!!! EPISODE 3

I just finished the 3rd season of Clone Wars(2008) and I have Thoughts!

s3 is typically where I’ve seen ppl saying Clone Wars gets gud but, for the first half of the season, I was pretty skeptical. Until ~ e11 the season’s dedicated to filling in holes from the earlier seasons which, frankly, didn’t really need to be filled? Like: I’m not really sure WHO, in the audience, would be sitting around wondering “gee, I wonder what’s going on with Mandalore’s trade-policy during all of this?”?? Or “was a Republic Army sent to help Ryloth when it was first invaded, and what happened to it?”??? And most of this not only felt pretty unnecessary, but was also pretty Meh (:T There were good bits! Like, I didnt ACTL mind the Ryloth ep, and it acts as a declaration of sorts that it’s now both open-season on Jedi(yeah, technically Kit Fisto’s ex-padawan Vebb died in Lair of Grievous, but he was very much An Outlier), and more broadly open-season on named&faced humanoid characters.

To give an example: not ONLY does Domino Squad from Rookies in s1 get a fleshing-out backstory(which is... very Pat and derivative and convenient, but the characterization is ok given they’ve only got one 22min ep to do it in. & I liked 99′s whole role as basically surrogate dad to all the other clones), but pretty much ALL of them, I think, end up getting killed off during the season? Like I said it’s a clear statement they want to break with the past while building on the “hey fans: CLONES ARE PEOPLE! THEIR SITUATION IN THIS WAR IS MONSTROUS!!” message the series has been soft-peddling from the beginning, but I feel like they didnt really commit to it enough. Like: IF they had stuck with the Domino survivors throughout the season, if we’d gotten to see them in episode after episode, gotten to know them better alongside the other members of Rex’s ARC battalion, gotten to see them face dangers and survive them, only to watch, agonized, as they, and the rest of the Battalion vets, slowly get picked off in the increasingly dangerous missions of the second half of the season, then that would have made the message MUCH more effective, AND made the Citadel and Padawan Lost arcs much more tense.

And really all of the impactful deaths of the season sort of feel like that. Like: we get one episode to know Mina Bonteri(a human, of course) and her family before she’s killed off(though i did Dig how unceremonious and unsentimental it was; that really got across the stakes involved and the sorts of scumbags Amidala, and the audience, are dealing with). We get even less time with the Jedi killed by Oppress; a few seconds at most(and btw it’s kind of HILARIOUS how he just... bulls in there and wrecks em like it’s nothing, after two seasons of ep after ep of uneventful cat-and-mouse. Of course that’s undermined by him&Ventriss, then, utterly failing to be successful against Dooku, purely because the plot demands it |:T) Same with Master Piell. Ziro we know much better, but he was also a fairly annoying caricature and his final eps went out of their way to use him to introduce EVEN MORE annoying caricatures so, while his getting gunned down is successful in showing violence and violent death as sudden, unsentimental, and pathetic rather than heroic and worthy, we dont really care. And that’s further undercut, pretty seriously, by his being a caricature; pathos is hard to pull off with an object of laughter/scorn as it risks just making their suffering funny to the audience(which... is the OPPOSITE of what you want to accomplish). This isnt helped by having the Jedi who find him basically shrugging at his death before racing into a Cool Fight. The “Force Wielders” in the Mortis arc suffer from the same problems(and also: Force Dualism&”The Chosen One” Talk: BLEAGH!). The only one of these they manage to get right, to me, is Kalifa’s death in Padawan Lost which, due to us getting more time to see her sitch and hear her&the other younglings talk about it, genuinely ends up having an emotional impact(if still feeling super-convenient and a bit improbable)((also I love the inclusion of a predator ep, even if they’re cheap dime-story predators)).

The same goes for all the non-death falls and endangerments. The corruption of the Mandalorian Prime Minister falls flat because we barely know him, and he’s never been portrayed as sympathetic or, for that matter, as anything other than a factotum. The only Pantoran we know in Sphere of Influence is Senator Chuchi, and more than half the episode is dedicated to the Prime Minister, his Son, and his(interchangeable) daughters(and we never see any of these characters again in the season); the ep comes off as nothing more than an excuse to reference Greedo(and Im annoyed by him speaking common all of a sudden. Who watching CW would have a problem with subtitles?).

BUT! They’re trying!! They’re moving in the right direction!!! I’m happy about this ^v^ And the later half of the season, while I have my problems with certain episodes, and the continued non-human stereotypes, and the convenient writing, and the not-great(tho getting better!) dialogue, is actually kind of entertaining, and attention-bearing. Arc Troopers, the 2nd ep of the season, is Solid! The Mortis arc is good, overall! The Citadel and Padawan Lost arcs are Compelling!! I like the Witches of Dathomiir, even if their Arc is “Meh” because the series IMMEDIATELY undercuts their cool concept(aside from the laser-bows which are LEGITIMATELY Stupid. I’m sorry; I will not argue over this they’re Dum) by having their plans, and all the implication towards deep plots&cunning manipulation, turn out to be empty and fruitless(ie, Dooku totally should have been terribly wounded by all this, which would have also been cool re: Sidious, as it’d imply THAT WAS HIS PLAN ALL ALONG! TO WEAKEN THE GROWING POWER OF HIS APPRENTICE AND DRAG THE WAR OUT EVEN LONGER!!) Also: the Witches, rather than being “magic users” drawing from the “unique power” of their ~evil planet~(a swamp, of course, following long-established Magic the Gathering tradition u_u) should have just totally been a non-Sith(possibly Pre-Jedi) sect of Dark Side Force Users. I really like the idea of Non-Jedi/Non-Sith(since they’re literally just two sides of the SAME tradition; the Sith are literally Jedi Heretics) Force Traditions being out there in the galaxy, and this was a good chance to build on that which I felt they didnt do enough with, and hope they WILL do more with in future(I especially like the ideas of force-attuned poison? Like what if they could “poison” or “curse” people THROUGH the Force? That would be sweet as hell :3).

Another improvement is in the action in this season. It’s not at a level I’d call “thrilling” or anything, but it feels much less like stiff, rote, weightless FLUFF than it has in the two previous seasons. Frankly I think a lot of this is just their engine and how ppls joints just sort of SNAP into position during fights, and also the excessive acrobatics of the prequel-style, both of which makes it feel unnatural, predetermined, and performative rather than deadly and vital(like excessively practiced and robotically acted choreography, basically). But, having said that, you see ppl make mistakes, you see consequences FOR those mistakes, and thus there is SOME sense of danger and weight to it that makes it more compelling than it has been in the past, and this should be praised uwu

And I like that the Politics are a lot clearer and more forefronted in this season than previously! While the Corruption Arc on Mandalore did feel rather hollow, rushed, and After-School-Specially(and, I DEEPLY resent its peddling of offensive and baseless anti-Ophidian tropes >:( ), it’s core message abt the dangers of profiteering and the corrupting influence of profit-seeking(ie Capitalism) on politics and society is a good one and clearly delivered. The Amidala episodes in this season Knock it out of the park consistently, and especially on their messaging ^v^ ^v^ Also, I DIDNT MIND the very fillery C3PO and R2 ep! Yes: it was essentially a waste of an episode since Bane was working for the Hutts to spring Ziro in s1′s Hostage Crisis & there’s basically NO WAY they wouldnt have been able to provide him with a set of plans for the Senate building(and the prison, for that matter), but WHATEVER: it was Kind Of Fun and I like seeing those two be an old bickering married couple and C3PO freak out over getting praised; IT WAS FINE!

So, while there werent any standout ep that I REALLY ENJOYED like Trespass in s1 and R2 Come Home in s2, and I very much didn’t like the 1st half of the season, I think I do have to concede that s3 is An Improvement, overall. I’m actually a bit excited over moving on to s4, given the upward trajectory this season ends on quality-wise owo

Oh: and the Ahsoka redesign? Neat uwu uwu(if untentionally Hilarious since they havent been changing her model over time so she just... grows three feet and bulks out in, like, a single night, presumably. Togruta Puberty must be HELL :p :p :p)

#Star Wars #SW: Clone Wars(2008)#Clone Wars s3 #Long Post #zA Opinions #zA Reviews #TV Shows #Summaries

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minek68 · 5 years

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SWTOR again!

So I’ve recently picked up SWTOR again, and here are some of my thoughts...

so many buttons! (I’m looking at you Jedi Knight/Sith Warrior....)

agent storyline rules

KOTFE is pretty cool

thought it’s... well, awkward if you’re not a force user...

and chapter XII. Whispers in the dark is the low point... it’s just... bad

soloing content as a tank is a chore (I’m looking at you veteran star fortress!)

I really liked the nautolan sith lady (Veeroa Denz) from the Nar Shadaa resistance....

there’s nothing straigth about sith purebloods even I know as much

the original game’s no homo policy is both infuriating and hilarious...

have you seen female body type 3? or Kaliyo? or Elara Dorne? Akaavi?

I have a headcanon that “straight mandalorian” is a running joke among LGBTQ people in universe

everybody’s playing human, they can’t all be F2P!

where is the cult of fat twi’leks? the last time I played this game, you met a fat twi’lek guy on every corner of the fleet

“Ha hah! I’m a villanious mastermind, and you pathetic light side won’t save you from my evil plans,jedi, you’re too late!” says a sith at every corner...especially in the JK and the Consular storylines

seriously they screwed up Belsavis with this, Consular Belsavis! how can you screw up an adventure through a super secret, super secure prison, looking for an ancient imprisoned civilization, while being hunted by one of the prison’s masters?

also, according to Bioware, releasing a power hungry, ancient evil, who zombifies any people he meets, and freeing a species designing maternal AI (and let her kill her wardens) is the same...

#freeAshaa

Makeb on the Rebulic side is okon the imperial side, it seems like it was desinged for the Agent, which is a sentiment I can get behind

I actually like Voss

not having a Voss/Gormak companion is a missed opportunity... a big one

we do not interact with a single female Gormak... and not much with female Voss either...ok, there’s one named female Gormak champion...

we need more aliens in important roles

there are 6 aliens LI’s compared to the 17 human ones...

LS Jaesa using the words “Master I must be straight with you.” before she confesses her love for the F!Warrior is hilarious...

you have Tau Idar as a postergirl damnit! now you’re obliged to wear the “gayest Star Wars product” title with pride

I’d like Dathomir, I have a long history, and a love/hate relationship with obligatory evil matriarchies, but it could give us really interesting story hooks

I really like stories not centered around Republic/Empire or Jedi/Sith...

yeah, it’s kinda puzzling to me why I like this game :)

this game has some really cool outfit designs, and it’s one of the few games out there where not only you can avoid wearing bikini armor, you actively have to seek it out if that’s what you want (with a few exceptions)

and it’s still slutmog heaven....

as a general rule if it’s only a bra for a female character, it’s topless for a male character

as much as it is stupid looking, the Dramatic Extrovert armor set is the most aptly named sith armor set ever..

Senya is amazing

someone made a meme with “Vaylin’s mom has got it going on” and the song keeps repeating in my head

“Vaylin can’t you see, you’re just not the girl for me!”

Vaylin deserved better

#swtor #silly #ramblings

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galacticnewsnetwork · 6 years

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....

Everyone hated The Phantom Menace because of Jar Jar Binks, worst Star Wars film ever. Everyone hated Attack of the Clones because of the stilted love story, worst Star Wars film ever. Everyone hated Revenge of the Sith because of the over use of CGI, worst Star Wars film ever. Everyone hated the original because it's a child's movie, worst Star Wars film ever. Everyone hated Empire because it wasn't the same as the original, worst Star Wars film ever. Everyone hated Jedi because of the Ewoks, worst Star Wars film ever. Everyone hated The Force Awakens because it was a re-hash of the original, worst Star Wars film ever and everyone hates The Last Jedi because it's not a re-hash of the original, worst Star Wars film ever. Blah, blah, blah. Can't wait until episode IX, and hope it's the worst Star Wars film ever... Had to share this as it’s so true and hilarious how pathetic this whining is. Some of the people whines about stuff that doesn’t make sense and isn’t explained, but is in comics or in books way before TLJ premiere. Then they whine that they don’t want to read any comics or books. Same time they also whine that EU is gone and now they have nothing. I guess if Lucasfilm ever does a movie or tv show of The Old Republic people start whining how it’s not what they wanted and how it’s so disconnected from the originals, how Jedi and Sith are so different, how tech is suddenly so advanced etc....

#My turn to rant

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malarkiness · 4 years

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Saw The Rise of Skywalker, and I have thoughts about it.

Honestly? I didn't hate it. In fact, I'm kind of embracing it purely for the absolute disaster that it is. There were a few things that were bad enough to actually take away from my enjoyment of the movie, but overall, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be. I think it helped that I watched Revenge of the Sith the night before seeing it. ROTS is a mess, but it’s a fun mess, and TROS isn’t all that different.

So with that said, I guess I'll start by talking about the stuff I liked:

Sheev Palpatine is an absolute delight in this movie. His addition to this story is so blatantly thoughtless and embarrassingly shoehorned, but every one of his scenes was just a joy to watch. I spent every second of his screentime trying not to laugh out loud in the theater. His scenes completely took me out of the third act's otherwise grim tone, and I'm so grateful for that because it made everything—including the forced r*ylo kiss—look like a total joke. I was dreading that moment, but once it happened, it was not only bearable, but completely forgettable thanks to Sheev Palpatine being extra as all hell. What a fucking hero. I'm sorry, I just... I genuinely cannot get upset about the asspull that is this character's presence in IX, lmao. I know he was only thrown in because Snoke was killed in VIII and the obligatory #Bendemption would mean forfeiting Kylo as the main villain, and we needed SOMEONE for Rey to fight. It was the result of inexcusably poor writing and planning, I get that. But Sheev truly took this movie from mediocre to so-bad-it's-good territory, and God bless him for it.

Finn remains my fav, but TLJ didn’t leave him with much to do in TROS. And his TLJ arc wasn’t bad, exactly, but it definitely could’ve been better. There was nothing about his Force sensitivity, nothing about his family, nothing about him being an ex-stormtrooper who could inspire more to turn against the First Order (something that could've developed very naturally from his conversations with Rose). You probably could’ve given that arc to any other character because so little about it was unique to Finn. But I think TROS did okay with how it continued that (generic) arc. Finn's actively working for the Resistance and even takes on a leadership role near the end. I kept waiting for there to be something alluding to his past as a stormtrooper aside from a couple of throwaway lines, and I was convinced that nothing would really come of that, but no! He ends up meeting another ex-stormtrooper named Jannah, and they have this nice conversation where Finn learns that there are a lot of other stormtroopers who defected. And... it almost seems like Jannah's already had the character arc that I wanted Finn to get, lmao. Like she's already in this little band of ex-stormtroopers helping the Resistance fight the First Order. I wish we learned more about her and her allies (like does Jannah help other stormtroopers escape? Maybe she purposefully traps them and then tries to help them deprogram themselves?). I'd totally be down for a Jannah spin-off series, tbh. But anyway, Finn doesn't have much of an arc in this movie; it's more like TROS just caps off his arcs from TFA and TLJ with him becoming a Resistance general and fully trusting in the Force (because Force-sensitive Finn is CANON 🎉🎉🎉). Again, it could’ve been better, but for what TLJ left him with, it’s fine.

I loved seeing Finn, Rey, and Poe work together. They have a great dynamic, with Rey and Poe always butting heads about the ship or BB-8 or who's leading the mission, and Finn tries to be the peacemaker between them. I loved their reunion hug at the end, too. But there is this odd running gag where Finn wants to tell Rey something when they all think they’re about to die, but doesn't want to say it in front of Poe later, and it just really sticks in Poe's craw. And we never even find out what Finn wanted to say. I mean, I like to think Finn was going to tell Rey that he loved her, but that's just me. 👀

Rey's character arc definitely has some problems, but there was also lot of stuff I liked. It was interesting to see her grapple with the reveal that she was a Palpatine and start to fear her own power and purpose. There's this great scene where she tells Finn that no one really understands her, and you know how afraid she is of what she could become, but it also hurts Finn to hear her say that. She eventually tries to isolate herself completely by running away to Luke's sad seagull island, but Luke's Force Ghost shows up and gives her this little pep talk that wouldn't ring so hollow if, y'know, TLJ had actually bothered to develop their relationship beyond Luke being afraid of her, but whatever. I also liked seeing her opt to heal the sandworm blocking the cavern's exit rather than kill it. She has this very natural chemistry with Finn and Poe through their treasure hunt. I also loved her interactions with Leia and their master/apprentice relationship.

Rose unfortunately has very little to do in this movie, but she does have a couple of nice moments with Finn that I really liked. One was when she says that something will happen if Finn & co. succeed in their mission, and he corrects her with “when.” I just thought it was sweet that her faith in the rebellion rubbed off on him, to the point that he uses it to encourage her, too. The other moment is near the end when she tells Finn they need to retreat, and then she hesitates when he says he’s staying behind. But instead of trying to stop him like in TLJ, she accepts his choice.

I can’t lie: seeing OT-era Luke and Leia spar with lightsabers got me. I’ve always loved their relationship, and I’m glad we got to see it in a flashback.

Call me petty, but I find it very satisfying that at no point in this entire trilogy does Anakin make any effort to contact Kylo. Not to advise him, admonish him, soothe him, or anything despite Kylo borderline praying to the guy at different points in this story. But once Rey starts faltering against Palpatine? Anakin finally wakes his Force Ghost ass up long enough to yell some encouragement to her. That is hilarious. Also, all the jedi calling out to Rey was just a great moment, period.

Hux's death is such a non-event, lmfao. He's outed as the mole, gets shot in the chest, and that's it. He's gone for the rest of the movie. It’s such a fitting ending for a character like him.

Kylo’s turn to the Light is... bad, but there is a nice bit of dialogue between him and his vision of Han where they echo their last conversation in TFA. I did like that.

I liked Zorii, and that she immediately takes a liking to Rey when they meet, lol.

I missed like half the shit going on in the post-battle celebration scene because I was watching the background for that one instance of two fourth-tier female characters kissing. Cheers, Jeffrey. 🎉

Rey choosing to carry on the Skywalker name was nice. Again, it would’ve meant more if she and Luke had had a better relationship in TLJ (and given how much closer she is to Leia, Rey Organa would’ve made more sense), but whatever, I’ll take it.

As for the stuff I didn’t like:

I think most of my gripes with this movie start with the #Bendemption that happens around the halfway point, so... I’ll just start with that. So Rey and Kylo are fighting on the ruins of the Death Star, Kylo starts gaining the upper hand, and Leia senses that her time has come to... help Rey? “Save” her son? I’m not sure, but whatever it is, she uses the Force to call out to Ben and distract him so that Rey can kill him, and it costs Leia her life. I’m actually okay with this little plot point because the way it’s framed makes it look like Leia sacrificed herself for Rey’s sake, not Kylo’s. I’m not sure if that was the intention, but that’s how it read to me. But then, Rey heals Kylo because... ???? I dunno, I guess the plot needs her to. And with that, I feel like we’re right back in TLJ, where Rey just does shit for the sake of Kylo’s character arc, her own thoughts/feelings/motivations be damned. There is a moment where she and Kylo are just sitting there taking in the shock of Leia’s death, and maybe if Kylo was shown to have some significant relationship with his mother (aside from opting not to kill her that one time), the scene would’ve had some emotional weight to it, but he wasn’t, so it doesn’t.

Kylo Ren is just a waste of a villain, honestly. TFA presents him as this petulant, overgrown child, and if it weren't for the fact that he's extremely powerful, most people would just laugh him off. He throws temper tantrums, wears that stupid mask in attempt to look more intimidating, Rey tells him to his face that he's just a pathetic Vader fanboy, Hux can barely keep himself from rolling his eyes when he's in the room. No one would take this clown seriously if their lives didn't depend on it, and this is a fact that he is clearly aware of, as evidenced by every instance of him doing something over-the-top evil whenever he feels the ~call to the Light a.k.a. whenever he feels weak. I liked having that sort of villain in this trilogy, and honestly, you could keep all that and still have him helping the good guys in the end; he’d just need a compelling reason to switch sides, and TROS just doesn’t give him one. None of these movies did. There’s no moment of clarity for him about power and the Dark Side. His main motivation of “finishing what [Anakin] started” is never even brought up. Kylo just becomes Ben after Rey runs off, and that’s it. He’s Good now because the plot needs him to be.

The Knights of Ren sure were..... there.

Like I said above, the r*ylo kiss is nothing. Yes, it’s garbage that a male character can spend multiple movies killing and hurting a female character’s friends, torturing her, invading her privacy, yelling at her that she’s worthless outside her relationship to him, and still get to snog her in the end. But in the midst of all the coocoo clown shit going on in the third act of this movie, that moment barely pings my radar. And I’m sorry, but I have to complain about this again: Why couldn’t Rey have just been one of Luke’s students that survived the Jedi School massacre? That way, she’d have an actual relationship with pre-Kylo Ben and therefore a reason to believe he could change back. They could’ve been close, like family, which could’ve made for an interesting parallel to their Force bond in that it’s an undeniable connection they have that Rey doesn’t want. You could then have Rey decide to use their pre-established relationship against him, and it would’ve made her decision to go to him in TLJ a lot more understandable. It would’ve made her calling him “Ben” at the end of TROS have some actual weight to it because in this scenario, she actually knew him as Ben. But no, I guess their forced connection in TLJ (which was contrived by Snoke, just for the record) is all the convincing Rey needs. Yeah, okay. I don’t know. TROS just makes it so apparent to me that Rey was originally intended to be a Skywalker, and they just threw in the Rey Palpatine twist because it’s 2019, and if your audience can follow the clues you set out for a plot development and draw logical conclusions, that means it’s predictable and therefore Bad.

Sheev Palpatine is a right dumbass. If he’d just shut up and let Rey kill him, he would’ve gotten what he wanted, but no! He had to explain to her his entire stupid plan, thereby giving her a very compelling reason NOT to kill him. And you know what, he did the same thing to Luke and Vader in Return of the Jedi. Luke attacked Vader and almost had him when Sheev cut in just to be like “YESSSS, DEWIT, KILL HIM.” And then Luke pulled back! Just let the heroes play into your hands, Sheev, fuck!!!!

TL;DR version: It’s... definitely a mess, but it’s not irredeemable. I think it’s worth watching just for the main trio’s moments and Sheev Palpatine hamming it up. I did think there were a lot of would-be emotional moments that just felt totally unearned (like Luke’s Force Ghost, Kylo’s vision of Han, Rey saying “Ben”), but there were others that were very effective (like the trio hug at the end, Finn sensing Rey’s death, Poe thinking about having to lead without Leia).

I think I liked it a little more than TLJ (which I didn’t hate, just found it very whelming), but TFA’s definitely going to stay my fav.

#mine #sometimes i watch things #tros spoilers

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