#the sep age really got me here
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Why do people crush on you ?
A reading on what attract others to you ?
General reading ,take what resonates leave what doesn't
Psychic reading
LGBTQIA+ friendly
Pics not mine credits to their rightful owners
Take a deep breath and select your pile !!
Posted on : Sep 26,2023
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Pile l . Cake
Let me know which pile you selected!! your likes ,comments,reblogs & feedbacks are appreciated (:
People find you exciting to be around,i'm getting saggitarius vibe its a giddy feeling like others know its gonna be a fun and stimulating night in your presence ,others can feel you have a great sense of fashion and that you hold a lot of knowledge and wisdom within you , you have androgenous vibe to you, you attract different kinds of people, people find you really endearing pile 1 they see you as someone courageous someone who'll stand up for them , someone who's a great companion to be around.others could talk about you A LOT ,you remind them of various things ,People find you relatable you could post things that can relate to many or you say certain things which in this age is obvious but oblivious to recognise at the same time and it could put others into a reflective mode . people feel like you've got it all like you never back down from challenges you show an enormous amount of resilience , i'm getting cloudy rainy day vibes that's how comforting it is .
You could show compassion to " yourself" and others could know abt it or they pick up from your vibe there's a really comforting vibe to you ,you could heal depths of others subconscious just by sharing your energy and experiences with them , very interesting i'm picking up that people want to fight you because they wanna prove to you , gain your approval anyhow, they're really persistent on the idea of wanting your validation now there's a catch either you are really intelligent & articulate on many levels or either its people feeling they need to match upto certain standards of reality. Others could see you as someone who's peaceful like you will find a solution you have an impact on others idealistic view i feel like you have a real take on things you could have felt like growing up you're alienated , different from others where they see 6 you see 9 and now you're proud of the fact that you dont go about things one-way. Your kindness is deeply appreciated.
Others see that you remember little things about them you are the person who they can sit in silence without feeling uncomfortable . Others think you have a really unique face like those who look like birds *SOME PEOPLE DO LOOK LIKE BIRDS *lol overall appealing to look at ,others feel like you have manners like you just dont talk the talk you have gone through it yourself , others could feel sad if they loose you because you're a great person and it'd be upsetting to losea great part of yourself y'know something that makes you happy ...i feel like you can shift energy of the room you're giving me really sweet lover vibes like that friend who's leaning in to hug , tugging your hairs , lookin' into your eyes 👁️ . Thats really sweet honestly.
You could suffer from imposter syndrome feel like you're not valued enough or you're invisible to others but no others defend you in your absence😤you're really important to them, believe that you're a good person pile one you heal many hearts. Yeah i could go on & on there's just a lot to say ,lets stop here(:
Things that could resonate w/you :
Mars in 6th house ,chappy lios ,butch , classy ,cindy ,ground nuts , foil , childlike spirit , ballon ,dior , pet parrot , orange car, authentic, relient ,new jersey , authoritive, sweet lemon , sharp confused eye look , malfunction , delivery, 5 months , loca shakira, night owl , city lights movie , late night drive ,writer , publisher , braids ? , europe , Amsterdam ,south africa , onethek? One take? Switzerland, Syria , Manchester , India ,russia , messi, serpamt tatto or ring , sportsmanship,pretty woman ~mino , sappho ,lauren ,R - 5- 9 -2 , 6:00 clock ,rap jazz , attended a show fest .
Song that matches your vibe: new moon
Thanks for reading!!
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Pile ll -Zero
Let me know which pile you selected!! your likes ,comments,reblogs & feedbacks are appreciated (:
Ah don't underestimate the power of zero , everything begins with zero
You remind people of nostalgic memories mostly joyful one's ...when others was experiencing life and not surviving it , people could really find your presence to be enticing you could be sassy and upfront , you guys could be my witches i see you hate wasting your time on surface level relationships, you are remembered by others for a really long time for instance ..oh this person was so mischevious and playful when they were little yeah i really feel like others miss being in your presence a lot
Others really love to tease you a lot they think behind that tough macho exterior there's a really gentle spirit wanting to unleash its potential, i heard smoking mirrors others could not meet you or see you around a lot there's a need to get to know you or want to spend time with you like others cant get enough you could find yourself feeling quite overwhelmed at times because of this , i found myself stutering others could really feel the energy of do not mess with me ,do not project your shit on me lol
I feel like there were some people in your life who didn't treated you right and you found yourself securing little aspects that others really love ..that could surprise you pile 2 but even if you're quirky , weird , mysterious you're still worth it and others do tend to lookout for you a lot. Others feel like nothing can escape from you ,you are keen on little things ,others feel like they can build a lot with you like people think longterm with you , congrats 👏 pile 2 not many of us trigger that within people to settle down or appreciate things as they are not constantly worrying about realigning things , being okay with enough. Others see that you work on yourself and you're unafraid of judgements ,thats so powerful pile2. Keep going.
I feel like you have seen a lot in your life you know how to go about things now but it wasn't always like this and i respect your patience and your ability to have faith in yourself, you value little to little things and others tend to be drawn by these little yet impactful habits of yours ...lol its cute. Others really see you as moving forward than backwards you are not stuck in your way ,you are sure competitive and a builder of your own world but there's always space for everyone who's seeking home, people remember you for a long time pile2 you're not a forgetten memory . You remind me very much of "libra energy and octopus" because they have these sensitive touch and they are so intelligent with sense of boundaries its amazing.
I honestly cant describe you in words i'm being reminded of water panther (mishipeshu) and i honestly dont know how to describe that energy . I feel like i said too much but didn't said enough.
Random things i heard:
Eros , literature, mathodical, coffee , strangers from hell , darren , sensitivity,sweet , melancholic, Mariposa Ave, suite , deligent , bambii , casanova , tone , sprite , notorious, horror ,trivia ,story , m , 7 ,5 ,8 ,2 , master manipulator , kinky , nest think of it more as a message and monkey Chinese.
Song that matches your vibe: tempted
Thanks for reading !!
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Pile lll-Hypnotise
Let me know which pile you selected!! your likes ,comments,reblogs & feedbacks are appreciated (:
There's a lot of emphasize on energy ,you are reminding me of an introverted actress who looks like she's anxious but oh the way she talks and presents herself she's so charming,she always give me the energy of looking for more not underestimating herself she's someone who's searching to play vital role in others life , she's soulsearching .
People could just feel a lot around you you could notice others kind of reorganising their stuff or trying to get things in order as if they are creating space in their energy for you yeah fuck this is so beautiful , others find you interesting usually in the first meeting Others can see how hardworking and interesting you are to the core , people recognise you deeply you can open anyones vulnerable heart ,you are comfortable to be around but not easy you could look a certain way but you're not all that there's a depth in you that's unreachable , your spirit reminds me of cobra and starfish its really sweet ,looks untouchable something interesting but like hurting you this much was worth it ? Its like people feel like you're a good person and that you are right for defending yourself against all odds .
You could be outcasted at a young age ,criticised for behaving like how a child is suppose to behave, others could have really pressursed you into taking responsibility or felt ircked by not having you lured into their shadow yeah i feel as though you despise this part of you in the early stages of development but now you understand its not you its ' them ' ,you have this i'm here to start a revolution not afraid to get things messed up and just be myself and that's really attractive you are the typa person who i'd tell my friend to bring again for the meet-up there's just so much to unfold,your energy speaks for itself and you dont need to be ashamed of that ,you know how to discipline others there's authority to you .
Others feel overprotective and sometimes underwhelmed as well because its frustrating to just feel things and not discover anything any soon it raises a lot of questions i'd even go as far to say others could find your vulnerable self beautiful cause how dare i be in your presence i feel less uff
That was intense its like i was walking on eggshells i didn't wanted to hurt you
People like you cause you're " heartless " lol in a sarcastic way ,you are not what they hear ,you are just like others though more intense ,more honest with yourself , with others ....thence sparking curiousity . honestly i feel like others really dont fuck with your inner child experience . There's a different side to you that seems decieving i mean ofc everyone is but no ones honest abt it .you remind me those moms who didn't wanted pet but hey look who's children it is now... lol cute .
Extra messages i heard:
Pretty little liar , cant get enough of you ,need morr time , lacking patience ,seeks reliability, advanced technology, do your own research ,like you better ,mars in 5th house , recent solar return, pluto 3rd4th house , stigma , give him first, courtesy, merry , jeremy , lisa , kristoffer , present, love , invention ,555,909, 812 lesson , extraordinary*saas* universal experience, heritage ,albania , not Usually seen or known , athletic, overpowering, educated , seek for deeper understanding, not cold but cool , defense mechanism, s ,y ,aquarius , light :the healer ,maron , wareen warning? Tag, archive. Your piles messages was so random .
Song that matches your vibe: fuck my life
Thanks for reading!!
#Spotify#pick a card#tarotblr#pick a pile#spirituality#tarot reading#intuiative reading#psychic reading#free tarot#pick a card reading#tarot pick a card#pick a picture#vd#crush tarot#crush reading
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Should Rise as a whole be considered a Separated au? Because originally in the third season, the turtles were going to get two extra sisters. Actually nvm probably not because we never actually got the two extra sisters!
Anon you're gonna regret asking this.
This post is going to be rambly but the short answer is yes. Whilst there isn't alot of stuff to prove the existence of the sisters, there still is evidence none-the-less.
SO, I'm going to start with my definition of a separated AU: A separated au is where at least one turtle is raised separately from the others to a point where it makes a difference in how the turtles interact with eachother.
This would be appicable to the original plan for rottmnt because one of the sisters (Sister A) was going to be raised by Draxum to be his bodyguard then ended up in a different dimension and went a bit insane. The other sister (Frida (renamed from Venus de Milo?)) is Big Mama's Assistant and shes serious. idk why i explaied this (i wanted to)
Back to evidence, Ron Corcillo and maybe someone else have confirmed that the lost turtles are the boys' sisters. Plus evidence can be found in "Goyles, Goyles, Goyles" but I couldn't find the exact screenshot I was looking for.
If I were to be honest, I was somewhat expecting someone to submit rottmnt as a competitor. The only thing I can really think of is that the sisters (in the show) can't be in an au because its canon but woulod that then consider canon as the og au.
Now a complication I think of is if the sisters aren't turtles, do you consider them as a separated au. Personally, I would consider it to be a sep au as long as they are considered siblings. It is confirmed that they are turtles but I think of the possiblity since Big Mama's Assitant doesn't look very turtle-y to me but that could be because of alot of reasons
Under the cut my thoughts on if other iterations are separated aus because i think about this alot.
Batman vs. TMNT movies doesn't seem to be a separated au, they were just on vacation to Gotham from what I can tell.
In IDW, Raph was separated from the rest of the boys for a bit and it did impact their relations some so maybe. I haven't read that arc so I'm unsure how long Raph was gone. It also begs the question, was he surviving circumstances or was he being raised in some way. I think there is a certain age for separated aus vs like kidnapped aus or smth.
For 2012, my ansgty self likes to consider it a separated au because Miwa/Karai is the child of Splinter but then was raised by the Shredder. Then she realized familial love and was like seeya to the Shredder (i havent finished the series yet).
In Next Mutation, I guess its technically a separated au because the turtles were separated from Venus when they were mutated but they also used that the turtles "aren't biologically related maybe" to use Venus as a romance plot (Venus deserved better fr).
I was going to add more but then I forgor so heres these ones.
TDLR: every tmnt iteration is a separated au if you believe hard enough <3
#this ask made me go absolutely feral#mod leaf replies#anon#i read the entirety of the qna thing on twitter and it was a goldmine for learning about the girls#im still currently gathering information about the sisters tho#im so sorry anon that i didnt respond to this eariler but i was busy#prime comp
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Hello
I know I'm barely here anymore
But unfortunately the Ritalin shortage in Summer caused me to become hyperfixation on Overwatch, Gabriel Reyes/Reaper in particular (AGAIN), against my very will.
But I'm here to make it everyone else's problem again and have been challenged by @wildissylupus to post my Martina Reyes HCs (or basically character summary at this point)!!!
So
Here
We
GOOOOOO
(Please note I am Filipina, not Mexican or Latine at all, I'm trying my best to research, but please correct me if I'm wrong)
- 1st of all, for me it is Dr. Martina Nuñez-Reyes, women in STEM, iconic
- Born and raised in San Diego, in particular in or by Barrio Logan!
- She is specifically Nahua Mexican with family in Guerrero, Mexico. She has learned a lot of Precolonial History and mythology, both in school and from her family. She also speaks Nahuatl fluently, as well as Spanish and ASL.
- Sweet, nurturing, professional, good tempered, graceful, makes lots of bad puns (she and Winston got along great), but occasionally slips in some "joking" sadism and morbid curiosity.
- Loves perfume even though she can't wear it often due to her work in laboratories and hospitals, will wear even just a little bit even at home to enjoy it.
- joined a ballet folklorico troupe up until High School, but still remembers the moves well. Specializes in Guerrero style folklorico!
- Excellent cook, amazing baker. Loves to adapt recipes to include lots of spices. (This will come back later)
- Interested in the medical field, specifically medicine itself, after learning about how advanced Mesoamerican civilizations were medically.
- Martina was a regular prodigy, attending an advanced secondary school academy in Mexico City, before continuing on to get PhDs in Medicine, Chemistry, and Pharmaceutical Science by age 24.
- By age 26 she had already made strides by synthesizing and creating medicine that was able to do things like naturally accelerate healing in the body.
- That's also when the Omnic Crisis began. She was inducted by the United States Military among swathes of other skilled doctors to create the Super Soldier Serum for the Soldier Enhancement Program (SEP) at a hidden facility.
- Six months, they managed to get it to an acceptable loss rate of 25%, and test it on 100 Soldiers. She was in charge of overseeing the injections of 20 of the 100 randomly assigned under her, which included Soldier 24, Gabriel Reyes, and Soldier 76, Jack Morrison. It was also done in doses, not all at once.
- She and Gabriel were attracted to each other but didn't act on it for quite a bit, due to the taboo nature of a doctor and a patient. They didn't flirt either, but had moments of "Oh fuck they're hot" before shaking it off.
- After the second round of doses, she lost her first soldier, which made the risk of SEP all the more apparent to her.
- Remember when I mentioned she's good at baking? She stress bakes because it helps make a zen sort of ritual of following steps/regaining a small sense of control. The reason Gabriel loves cookies? It's because he woke up at 2AM catching her stress baking a batch of Chili Chocolate Chip Cookies. It's where they had a heart to heart about Gabriel and the other Enhanced Soldiers trusting Martina and the doctors no matter the risk because they know they're liable to die in the Crisis anyway if they can't make headway.
- As the Crisis gets more dire, the General orders the doctors at the SEP facility to also go through basic military training, which Martina disliked, so she never really went past a machine pistol.
- 33 Soldiers make it out, and she sent with them on missions to retake cities across America. She wouldn't always be an active combatant, but she could hold her own if she had to.
- When Gabriel Reyes and Jack Morrison were selected to the elite Overwatch core team, she helped lead their medical support team. Also yes during this whole time, Gabriel and Martina still were attracted to each other but still sort of afraid to act because not only is she still his Doctor, he's now her commanding officer.
- Also during this period she helps treat a young Angela Ziegler during the bombing of Zurich.
- After fighting alongside Inti Warriors (Specifically Illari's dad) to help retake part of Central and South America, Gabriel almost died, which caused her to go full BAMF, and save him.
(Jack: "... can someone please tell me why our medic is rushing in alone, guns blazing?")
- They have to repair ships and stuff, so they decide to take R&R in reclaimed Guerrero, where Martina shows Gabriel around, and they end up dancing together. It's where they finally give in and end up in a relationship.
- Get married the last year of the Omnic Crisis, and have a son a few years later named Izel (who is the grown man with a family in my heart and soul in the Reflections Comic)
- Dr. Martina Nuñez-Reyes is the first Head of Medicine in Overwatch's Golden Age because goddamnit someone had to have that position before Angela.
- She's also Angela's mentor and sort of like an adoptive mom, Angela absolutely idolized her
Here's where my Canon deviates hard, because Blizzard's timeline makes no sense
(Fun fact this next part exists because I misread Code of Violence and thought that the ash and burning was from Gabriel's memories of Echo Park and not where he was so I straight up thought Martina was fridged a whole ass year before I heard the voicelines and reread it for clarity, but she's not fridged. Just stay with me.)
- On Izel's 6th birthday in Echo Park, there was an attempted assassination via explosions that caused Izel to lose his left arm and replace it with a prosthetic (the man in the Reflections comic has his left arm in his pocket)
- It also very nearly kills Martina, who is 6 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH THEIR DAUGHTER, Graciela
- The family lives, and Graciela has to be c-section delivered prematurely
- This ofc enrages Martina and Gabriel who, after recovery, hunt the motherfucker down to kill.
- It is not a quick death. Martina synthesizes POISON to make that fucker die screaming. (Basically I wanted to flip the Dead Wife trope where the wife lives and is FUCKING PISSED AND JOINS HER HUSBAND ON A ROARING RAMPAGE OF REVENGE)
- Oh yeah and that triggers the birth of Blackwatch lmao.
- Gabriel brought Cole Cassidy home for Christmas where she immediately enfolds Cole into the family.
- Martina and Gabriel also help Cole get his GED.
- Oh yeah Blackwatch
- So Martina supplies the poisons for coercion, torture, and assassination (and torture) to Blackwatch under the table for super covert missions, basically even people at Blackwatch didn't even know about. Ma'am was committing war crimes to keep the world and her babies safe. All while keeping up the sweet, dedicated, professional facade for like 14 years.
- Gabriel tries to get her to make another super soldier serum so he can be stronger, she refuses, they argue, him calling her a hypocrite, and it looks bad, UNTIL
- Shit happens and she accidentally lets a poison slip that gets reverse engineered and kills a lot of people, causing her to retire and Mercy steps up. Gabriel keeps her secret and they end up staying together
- HOWEVER, once the Venice Incident happens and Izel disowns his father, she chooses to not back up Gabriel's choices, whereas their daughter Graciela does, causing them to be separated but still married.
- Gabriel considers leaking her secret, but loves her too much to/wants the kids to have at least one parent they don't detest
- After the Swiss Explosion, Martina and Graciela mourn very badly, Izel rekindled his relationship with his mother but not Graciela
(Izel needs his own post probably lmao)
- Martina tries to move on, but finds she can't.
- listen once a man is willing to cover up war crimes for you, it's a very hard standard to meet
- She rejects the recall initially but to avoid this post from being even longer REASONS, Graciela goes with/gets kidnapped by (it's complicated) Talon, which is how Cole finds out Gabriel is Reaper
- Joins in to get her daughter back, and to redeem herself because she realizes how much destruction she caused even if people deserved it... lowkey she even doesn't fully regret it depending on the person she killed
- Her abilities are she got a CPR glove that can shock people in one hand that can pull Medicated/poison grenades out of a storage and a Pistol in the other and she can inject peeps with medication close quarters.
- She's like 63 currently also (in my Canon, Gabriel got a significant age bump with a bunch of other characters, he is 67 but is technically frozen at age 58)
- blizzard if you read this and wonder why I turned this nameless, possibly faceless character into someone that's committed war crimes, I don't got a fucking clue either
- wildissylupus I'm so sorry for subjecting you to this, like how I will subject my friends to a PowerPoint presentation about my character lore and alternate overwatch timeline on my birthday
#overwatch#reaper#gabriel reyes#martina reyes#dr martina Nuñez-Reyes#Overwatch OC#Headcanon#what is wrong with me#i should hate Overwatch#stupid sexy reaper#and lifeweaver being 7 feet tall making me reinstall the game
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Hidden Relics and The Man Who Hid (Them) - Translation
This is a translation of Hallelujah's side story found in the SMTIVA artbook. There used to be a translation floating around for this a couple years ago, although it appears to have been taken down. So I've asked a good friend of mine to translate the story and I looked over it for lore accuracy.
A direct link to the translation hosted on their blog can be found here. But if you'd like to read it on tumblr, click the read more. Please enjoy your read!
One more thing: PLEASE DO NOT REPOST THIS TRANSLATION ANYWHERE ELSE. Instead, link back to either this tumblr post or my friend's blog if you wish to share it.
Hidden Relics and the Man who Hid Them
Original Writer: Mito Yoko
Translator: VerdantGrove
ENG Proofer: Elegy
note: translation notes can be found at the bottom.
—
A single notebook rests in the man’s hand. That aged notebook is just one of the relics the man found in his former residence…it’s the memoir of a certain woman. The man places his fingers atop the warped cover just as he always does, and sets foot into the world of the memoir…
—
Feb 12
Hallelujah found a pen and a notebook. He said it was a present for Mama. I used this when I was study-ing¹ with Angel. How long ago was that again? Hallelujah’s four now, so… No, no. I don’t wanna think about it.
Angel complimented my handwriting. He said “it’s not very well done, but repetition is key.”
Writing a diary so he compliments me again.
Feb 13
Three visitors. Ashura Kai came to collect the money, and give us food rashions². A little more than usual, thanks to the work I did. Mama will work hard for Hallelujah.
Feb 14
Zero visitors. Big fire in Shibuya. Scary.
Humans are scarier than demons. Angel…
Feb 15
Four visitors. Tired.
Feb 16
Visito
May 2
Forgot about the diary. Writing every day is hard.
Jun 13
Ashura Kai came to collect the money. Guy in charge is annoying.
Luckily visitors were nice today.
Jun 15
We got canned food from the guests³. Hallelujah was super happy. But… I didn’t know what to say when he asked me “what’s a backblue⁴?”. If Angel were here, he would have told him. Have to study.
Jun 20th⁵
Hallelujah keeps yelling about wanting to go outside. Even though it’s dangerous up there. Even though I’m doing my best to live down here for him.
Jul 4th
Hallelujah and I talked about Papa. “Samyaza”... I get shy just saying his name. I’ll keep what really happened a secret for now.
He asked me, “why isn’t he with us?”
Why, I wonder?
Jul 15th
Ashura Kai came to collect the money.
Seems grades are good. Oh dear.
August⁶ 15th
The Ashura Kai⁷ came to collect the money. I ranted to a friendly guest, and their response was “poor thing.” They said I was such a poor thing, having to work and take care of a child at the same time.
Am I really a poor thing?
August 16th
Was all guests I hated today. But have to stay strong. For Hallelujah.
Sep 9⁸
Wrong. Something, wrong. Head spinning. Get mad when I look at Hallelujah. How can he laugh when I’m suffering this much?
But all this suffering is for his sake.
He looks just like me and I hate it. Hate everything.
September 15th
Collected the money.
I’m mad. Can’t even look at Hallelujah.
September 2
September 21st
I hit Hallelujah yesterday.
He kept asking questions about my work, and I said “you know it’s all your fault” and hit him.
I even blurted out “it’s your fault Angel went away too.”
I’m awful.
September 30th
Hallelujah threw up.
While I was cleaning it up, he cried “sorry, sorry.” I said “you’re a lot more serious than you were when you were a baby,” and it made me laugh.
I felt like that was the first time I’d laughed in a long time.
Then Hallelujah laughed too.
He laughed for me, even though I’d done something so horrible.
For some reason, it made me want to cry.
October 1st
I’m thinking as I watch Hallelujah sleep.
Hallelujah’s name was given to him by Angel.
It means “gratitude.”
I was really happy, so I tried my best to remember how to write it, even though it’s hard to spell⁹.
How the hell did I forget that? I’m such an idiot.
October 3rd
I hit Hallelujah and managed to say “sorry.”
He forgave me with an “it’s all righty.”
He patted me with his tiny little hands.
Sorry. Love you.
October 15th
That guest again. Always telling me I’m a “poor thing,” so annoying.
October 21st
I still have a lot of mixed feelings about Hallelujah.
But I’m not angry at him. Luckily.
Nov 15¹⁰
What am I gonna do? Hallelujah hit the man who collects the money. I got hit, then Hallelujah, he turned into something not human, got scary strong, then that guy, he wouldn’t move. Ashura Kai—no, oh my God, this isn’t what you should write in a diary.
But I want to calm down.
Hallelujah can’t stop shaking even though I’m hugging him tight.
Hallelujah was just helping me. He didn’t do anything wrong. That’s it, Hallelujah didn’t do anything wrong.
Hallelujah did not do anything wrong.
Hallelujah cried himself to sleep. Thank God.
It was hard, but I made up my mind.
We’re going to leave the Underground. I thought I wouldn’t survive if I wasn’t here. But that’s wrong.
I have everything Angel has taught me. It’ll be okay.
Leaving before the stores open is a matter of life or death.
I’ll keep Hallelujah safe.
—
“They sure do change easily, these ‘humans.’”
The man's cold and emotionless words reflect his hardened features as he emerges from the glow of the streetlights. And yet, for some reason he couldn’t place, when his eyes catch sight of these words of determination written in smudged letters, his hand stops. The man had never once thought about why that was.
Just as his hand stopped, he checked his smartphone for new notifications, but… The name which he hoped to see was still not there. Ignoring the many voices seeking out his direction, the man turns his attention to the rest of the memoir.
This memoir tells the tale of a mother and child desperately searching for a way to survive. Silently, the man continues to read…
—
May 19th
Our life on the surface has been going smoothly, thanks to us handing out Reds. I’m less worried about the demons. Hallelujah will be 10 soon. Seems like he’s made a friend called Chiro. I wonder what kind of kid they are?
June 12th
We got canned food as payment for the Reds!
Hallelujah was on the edge of his seat before we even opened it. He looks happy eating the fruit. I’m glad.
June 13th
Hallelujah fell asleep hugging the empty can.
It made him that happy?
June 15th
Studying with Hallelujah. I want to tell him everything Angel taught me.
June 28th
Hallelujah made me mad. It was because he took out that empty can when we were collecting relics. Is that thing his prized possession…?
June 29th
Making up with Hallelujah. I promised I wouldn’t put my hands on him without thinking anymore. Sorry, Hallelujah.
July 10th
I know what Hallelujah’s friend is now. It was a shock.
July 12th
I ran into that guest from our time underground. I wished they’d shut up about wanting me to come back to the city or wanting to look after me. Not to mention they told me how sorry they are for me again. I’m mad.
July 18th
Hallelujah has gotten good at looking for relics.
I told him “you’d be fine doing this on your own at this point” to praise him, but that made him extremely grumpy. Why??
July 20th
That guy’s here again. Ugh.
Even though Hallelujah’s forgotten what happened that day.
July 22nd
Hallelujah doesn’t seem to like studying. He said it was because he was gonna play with his friend, then ran off. Where’d this come from?
If only Angel were here at a time like this…
August 22nd
Had a conversation with a grumpy Hallelujah.
Studying is essential for proper judgment.
It’s essential in order to decide for yourself what’s important to you. Just like how I decided to believe Angel. …I wonder if I got through to him?
September 2nd
I found out why Hallelujah was acting so strange.
That man told him things. Things like “it’s my fault you got driven above ground” and “they want to get rid of me.” What the hell? Sure enough, humans are the worst. Way, way worse than demons!!
I want to explain. But what should I say?
September 5th
That guy has been loitering around us again.
Hallelujah is still feeling down too… Worried.
September 30th
I was debating whether or not to do this, but I’m going to tell Hallelujah.
That Angel really is an angel.
That he’s not human.
And… about what happened that day.
Tomorrow I will tell him. Angel, give me courage.
October 1st
The conversation went awful. “You’ve been giving me special treatment ‘cause I’m not human,” and “I can tell my dad was more important to you.” …I had thought it’d go like that.
October 3rd
Hallelujah’s in his room with Chiro, and he won’t come out.
If I was Angel, what would I do? …Maybe It’s because I’m always like this that it seemed like his dad was more important to me.
I have. To think.
October 4th
I’m rereading through this diary and thinking. I’ve written everything here, whether it’s the things that made me happy or the things that caused me pain. It’s really true that I hated that child. It’s really true that I loved him, too.
All of it. It’s all true.
October 5th
Received a summons from that man. I’m scared, so I’m bringing that weapon I snatched back then. I wonder; can I use it?
I want to talk with Hallelujah when I get home.
I’ve finally settled on what I want to say.
I like Hallelujah.
I love Hallelujah, because he’s Hallelujah!
I didn’t ask for us to make someone I could cherish other than myself just so I could abandon him.
When I had a chance encounter with Angel and was blessed with Hallelujah, I was really, truly happy.
I just wanted to do a good job of getting this happiness across to him, too.
…Can I even get that across to him? I’m an idiot, so I doubt I can.
But I’ll tell him as many times as it takes. Angel told me that repetition is key, after all.
Well, I should head out soon. …I know you probably wouldn’t give me a reply to this, so I’ll write it here.
See you later, Hallelujah.
—
The memoir ends there, and the aged notebook does not speak further. But the man knew. He knew of both the woman’s abrupt and miserable end and of the whereabouts of the child who lost his mother’s protection…
“Mr. Abe, it’s an emergency!!”
The man who was called—Abe, furrowing his brow, would go to respond to the insolent trespasser.
“Understood. The ‘final battle,’ yeah?”
Yes, at last, the curtain has risen on the battle between God’s Chariot and the Demon King. As Acting Chairman, it is his duty to finish this play, and yet…
“...Not a word from him.”
There were still no notifications from the person he longed to see—from Hallelujah.
That made one thing apparent—estrangement.
“Guess ya found yer angel… Eh, Ayako?”
Abe—the fallen angel who was once called an ‘angel’—imagined a future in which he would stand opposite his own son…and laughed.
<Fin>
TL Notes:
Studying is written in katakana here. It shows unfamiliarity with the written word.
Half of the word is written in katakana here, and the other half in kanji. I chose to portray this as a misspelling, as someone new to writing would be just as likely to misspell the word “rations” in English as they would be not to know the first kanji of the word haikyuu (rations) in Japanese.
Mama writes the word okyaku (visitors/guests) in kanji for the first time here. I marked this with a switch from “visitors” (neutral connotation) to “guests” (more respectful connotation of welcomeness).
Hallelujah seems to have flipped the kanji in the word “blueback (fish)”（青魚 lit. blue fish）to 魚青 (lit. fish blue); I had him flip the word “blueback” to “backblue” in the same manner. He likely read it left to right instead of right to left.
Before this date, the days were written in hiragana. This marks the switch to the use of kanji for each day. I decided to portray this by typing the numbers in proper date format (e.g. 20th instead of 20).
Before this date, the months were written in hiragana. This marks the switch to the use of kanji for each month. I decided to portray this by typing the months spelled out instead of abbreviated.
Rather than writing the “Ashura” in “Ashura Kai” entirely in hiragana as she had been doing previously, Mama writes the first kanji in “Ashura” here for the first time. I decided to portray this by using the article “the” to make it a more complete sentence, thus similarly showing a progression of education.
Mama returns to writing the date entirely in hiragana here in her distress.
Referring to it being difficult to write the kanji for gratitude (感謝). I paralleled this to spelling the word.
Same as TL note 8.
#smt iv apocalypse#smtiva#smtivf#smt4a#hallelujah smt#translations#theres like 5 bajillion ways to tag this game im cryin idk which one to use so im using all of them#anyway if you have any questions feel free to leave them in my ask box
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Recently treated myself to some cool stuff cus im in the positiin to afford it rn and also in celevration of getting a new job!! Im so happy i get to work as a barista!!
I first got some coffee syrup and oat milk like a few days ago cus i was getting bored of my normal coffees, i was trying to get pumpkin spice but the only bottles there were really huge an expensive and i didnt need that much so i just got cinnamon and vannila
I also found boba at tkmax abd was like right your coming with me (i have the ingredients to make my own but sometimes i just dont wanna go through the effort) also got some reusable straws for boba because i have. None.
And today i got myself one of those cool bags with the see through pockets so u can like display ur pins and plushies (its green :)) because i never put on my pins for fear of losing them so yippee!!! Ill make an insert for it so i dont have to deal with losing the backs in the bag
And then lastly... the star of the show...
LOOK AT HIM!!! 🥺🥺🥺 got the bag and charm from etsy just waiting for it to arrive, ill show a mockup of the display and such when it all arrives!!
Also heres the link to the etsy shop of the spider charm because that is someone elses art so (tbh was sold out abd j find that so funny)
Im a bit sad abt etsy bcus i havent used it in ages and they have this new thing where mass produced stuff from big factories (like similar to people who sell on aliexpress) have found their way in. It used to be so much easier to find individual artists local to me but now i have to dig through a whole page of paid ads from bigger companies to get to the individual artists :( i know etsys been going downwards for a while but i didnt realise how bad it got
If anyonr knows good alternaatives let me know
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some warnings for non-consesual contact + kissing
hii this is an update to a post from last sep/aug about very poorly set boundaries between my aroace ass and a very close friend (who, at that point, had said that they no longer liked me romantically) that essentially led to friend hugging/touching me more than I was comfortable with along with friend saying that they think that they're aroace too so I stuck around believing it without fixing my boundaries (so hugs continued).
Now, I have to say that my dumbass didnt listen to the advice from the previous post (thank you to those who said friend was a red flag). I let things snowball into them getting more comfortable with hugging me and they got close enough to kiss me.
And. well.
I was able to stay away from them for about a month (getting a mild but long-lasting Covid was an odd blessing along with having a very busy schedule). But after that I ran out of excuses. I just. let things continue. I guess they noticed I wasn't really reacting all (and that I didn't let them close enough to kiss me again) that well, because then we had a talk and they told me they still liked me romantically. Over the phone. Where I was far enough to forget that that friend made me so uncomfortable.
I put on my "everything is fine I promise" voice and said well u can't do anything about how u feel and ur a pretty good friend (and they were! except for the fact that they liked me romantically and that makes me want to vomit) so we'll stay close, just don't expect anything romantic from me. I continued to talk and let them hug me and whatever else. (And they invited me to stay with their family in some place they were renting out for christmas???? luckily I had the balls to say no)
then, mid-december, a childhood friend reached out (we'll call them dipper) and i told them everything about friend. dipper said, "Well fuck that, stop replying to them!" so I did.
Fast forward to now, where I'm typing up this post. Just an hour ago friend texted me to go stay somewhere overnight again (theyve sent other messages before that I was able to ignore). I'm pretty sure some other mutual friends were going to that overnight thing as well but I've essentially cut those other people out cuz they just saw me as an extension of friend. so.
It's the dumbest thing ever because right after they messaged I just felt guilt and regret. We were really close for nearly two years before anything really bad happened and I was loathe to cut them out in the first place becuase they were the only person I actively spoke to at some point. And when the first issues started coming up I would always say that it was fine and that I was okay with the touching so isn't it kind of my fault that it happened anyway???
In other words, I felt obligated to reply to them (I haven't, yet. Thought I might have by the time this is posted). I told dipper about it and they said that I should probably talk to friend about everything and I think I will. It probably isn't healthy that I spend everyday dreading getting a message from friend. That when I do get a message my heart drops to the pit of my stomach. And how when we're together my first instinct is to just. stop thinking and act like everything is fine. (Not to mention that I haven't felt safe enough to genuinely tell them about what I've been up to in ages)
So.
I will (hopefully) tell friend about everything. No platitudes. No "everything is fine". It would be a great way to start the year right, too.
Um. I didn't think this would be so lengthy but I guess it's just proof that I've let things go for too long. Honestly, without dipper I think i would have just continued letting things be. I'll go for now. Maybe I'll have an update again in a few months. who knows?
and thank you, admin(s), for this page. everything here has been a lot of help with my own realizations.
💛
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There is a French interview with Louise from 2019/2020 (before her album was released) where she said she said something along the lines of wanting to appear as a "naughty child'. She was 31 at the time. As for Alexa, she said at one point she never read the book Lolita but loved the 1997 film. She was still mid 30's with a Lolita phone case. // mods I know you love Alexa but she’s said quite weird and unhinged things. I found this article that seems to summarize some parts of her book IT: “My favourite book is Lolita because I just adore the pubescent teenaged girl look. It rocks. I also like the Edie Sedgwick look. How many drugs can one girl take? Never enough, because taking drugs looks really, really cool.” She also has said that her style looks like a child or something like that. “I love men. By men, I mean famous men.” an ask was sent a few days ago about Jane Birkin saying she was not ambitious and just wanted to look like Jean Shrimpton, here Alexa says why she loves Jane: “My biggest influence has been Jane Birkin. Probably because she has never done that much either.” “My mum is the coolest mum in the world. Whenever I break up with a boyfriend, she tells me to go out and shag someone else. How cool is that?” “Sometimes my male friends get really depressed. That's because they don't have enough leather jackets. You can never have too many leather jackets. I've got 25 at least. I really do believe that if everyone in the world had 25 leather jackets, no one would be unhappy again ever.” “I loved everything about the Spice Girls. Their clothes, their music, their manufactured artificiality. But I especially loved the fact they showed women could become celebrities without having any talent.” (The article: https://amp.theguardian.com/books/2013/sep/08/it-alexa-chung-digested-read) — the interview Alexa said Lolita changed her life: Q: Book that changed your life? AC: ‘Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.’ (https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/news/a32800/my-cultural-life-alexa-chung/) and I remember Louise saying something like she’s an “enfant terrible”, also here: “Her name is Louise Verneuil and since the stage name it has been mentioned the golden age of French song. She is with Alex Turner of the Arctic Monkeys and she too, like Birkin, wants to be a “terrible girl” ” (“Si chiama Louise Verneuil e fin dal nome d'arte che si è data cita il periodo d'oro della canzone francese. Sta con Alex Turner degli Arctic Monkeys e anche lei, come la Birkin, vuole essere una “bambina terribile” ” / https://www.rollingstone.it/musica/interviste-musica/dicono-che-questa-cantautrice-sia-la-nuova-jane-birkin/491395/ ) ridiculous how the selling point of Louise and her music in all of the press she did for her album was being the “companion/girlfriend/etc” of Alex Turner, yet in the same interviews she says she’s been making music for 8 years and people shouldn’t know her for her “man” and called the society “misogynist” lmao. also the journalist wrote “are the fans of Alex Turner the problem?” Like be serious, if it wasn’t for Alex she would’ve stayed unknown with an unreleased album and no listeners, no luxury clothes, trips, hotels, Paris apartment, invitations to events like Celine fashion show, Beatles documentary series premiere, aanndd, ……….
Just because we are fans of many of Alexa’s qualities and her work doesn’t mean she’s never said anything weird or dumb to the press. Almost everyone in the public eye will, at some point. We also think some of these may have been jokes. The leather jacket comment sounds very different if you read it as serious vs with sarcasm.
The topic of the book Lolita is a complicated one. Like the other mod mentioned, we both read it recently to try to help us understand. It’s challenging to process and discuss because it’s written with great skill for language and structure and yet tells such a dark, disturbing and sad story. Anyone mentioning something that nuanced and complicated offhand in an interview about fashion/style/music is likely to sound foolish, and is foolish for not realizing it. I will also note that as part of this exercise I watched the 1997 film and it’s not nearly so disturbing because you don’t get so much of Humbert’s internal monologue. Its beautifully filmed and directed and much more superficial in the storytelling, as movie adaptations often are. It’s easier to see how someone could watch that film alone, not read the book, and not quite get the full picture of how dark the story is.
Anyway, pardon this brief monologue. Moral of the story: if you only watch the film and don’t read the book and then try to sound cultured, it won’t work. Just do your homework or better yet, just be yourself and talk about your real interests. 🤷🏻♀️
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Ninjago FA Prequel: Restart
Chapter 4: Home
~~~Acronix's PoV~~~
The day that I was released came just as quickly as prophezised, just three weeks after I woke up from coma. Even the doctors were surprised about how quickly I had healed up, but that probably has something to do with my Elemntal Powers. And just maybe, the pendant Aniela gifted me worked its magic too. After weeks in this quite uncomfortable hospital Gown, it felt nice to be back in somewhat normal clothes. Sure, It was just my Battle Suit minus the armor, but it should be enough until I got new stuff. Aniela was kind enough to slightly alter it to look better, she did not want to leave me in rags, after all. There was some other stuff that I have gradually forgotten about, though I was pretty surprised about my BorgWatch and Phone still working. Sure, there was no cell-service, but all the offline features still worked just fine. I still remember Aniela's reaction when she first saw them. "No way! Phones don't look like that! How does it even work?!" To be honest, I don't think I can answer that quetion.
Her home was pretty nice, it was small but had everything you need. A kitchen, living room, full bath and two bedrooms, despite her living alone. I guess she uses the other one for guests or some extra storage. I was immediately amazed by the way the rooms were styled. Despite the old-looking wooden furniture, she combined it with decorations a way it looked pretty modern. It reminded me a little of my childhood home, a style that my sister suggested to combine future and past, to symbolize the power my family holds.
I took a quick glimpse onto my phone as it started to vibrate ever so slightly, signalizing a low battery. I was lucky to find a power outlet that matched my charger, they have been standartized for ages. Aniela was quick to ask questions once again, though just like before, I had no answer to them. Technology is just as foreign to me as it is for her, just because I am from the future does not mean I know everything about it. it might as well be magic. I put my Watch and MP3-Player aside and went to shower. The lady in pink was kind enough to let me move in with her, it's not like I have places to go.
The shower was more than needed, sometimes all it takes to clear your mind is cold water raining down on you, though I did turn it a little warmer to wash myself. Once I finished after about half and hour I noticed an unfamiliar smell in the air. As soon as I saw the neatly covered table, I knew what that scent was.
"Since you can still only consume light food, I decided to cook a traditional dish passed down in my family. It's a simple soup with spices and chicken."
"Oh, this looks tasty! Though I did forget to mention that I am a vegetarian... No worries, you spent all this time to prepare it for me, I will eat it anways. Pure respect towards everyone, even if they are from cultures other than my own."
That sentence has pleased my roommate entirely.
There was this one thought that kept plaguing me for a while, I know I can trust Aniela and I really need someone to talk to, after all, I am free to do whatever I want.
"Aniela, can I tell you something?"
She just nodded quietly.
"I was not a good guy where I am from. I was... well... evil, a bad guy. It was not really my choice, but I still feel bad for what I have done. The guilt is what keeps me up at night. I really wish to have the ability to go back in time far enough to change my mistakes, but I know I cannot."
"You are here now, with me. I see that you are not really a bad guy. You have told me your story and I can tell it was really not easy for you to do. Out of all the bad guys out there, you deserve a second chance the most. You decided to break free for a reason."
"There is one thing that I haven't told anyone ever before. Back then, after our family was murdered... My brother an I set our house on fire to burn the evidence. He was old enough to sit for it and we did not want to be seperated. We have always done everything together. We burned our house down and never even dared to look back, yet the memory remains. I have commited many crimes in the other timeline and I regret every single one of them. Honestly, I was pretty surprised I was not spoken guilty once I came here."
Aniela stayed quiet the entire time, I guess she was to stunned to speak anything at that moment. Though she noticed how close to tears I have been getting talking about my past, it has always been a touchy subject, especially in reference to my parents. She calmly put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer until my head was resting on her collarbone. My body became limp and sank in entirely, her heartbeat calming my troubled mind. My mom used to do this to me whenever I felt any sort of negative emotion and I can tell exactly why. I guess it is the part of me that's Tawali that feels this bond to her as if it was physical. It can be compared to the umbilical cord, exept that it's not really there, but always present. Like a mental link. When she died, I felt it in my chest, as if someting was torn apart inside of me, I can't really explain why, but it's something that's subconciously there. Aniela wasn't one of us, but what I feel this very moment, is very similar to that.
Just by the time I calmed down, someone was ringing the doorbell. It was a woman about Aniela's age, her hair a flaming red. It is not someone I recognize, but she was defenitely known around this house, a few pictures hung on the walls made it fairly obvious.
"Hi! I am Bethany, Bethany Barnes! You must be Adonis, Aniela's new friend."
My mind was a little bit overwhelmed, but I still managed to snap out and agree.
Adonis... A name that was always my own, but also a name that doesn't really fit me. No matter how many times I have been thinking about it, it never really felt right to me. Sure, I was known as Acronix by a lot more people, but even that was just derrivative. Without any obvious explaination, that name made me feel uncomfortable in my skin. There is a lot of things I don't like about myself, but the exact problem can not be found. I just don't know what it was. Maybe it was just all those years I used the face paint and my costume. It covered up pretty much my entire body, so I was not used to seeing myself it without it on. Everything that shows the 'real me' doesn't feel so much like the 'real me' after all. Well, sometimes at least. Today is one of those days, yesterday was different.
My mind trailed off once again, but I didn't notice until Bethany tried talking to me without success. I saw her lips move, her eyes were clearly directed at me, but I heard no sound. Stuff like that keeps happening sometimes, so I know it will go away enventually. Technically, this is the part where a vision appears, I know that from my sister, but instead of a vivid picture in front of my eyes, my normal vision remains. My body is probably not used to the full element yet, with some time given everything should work the way it was intended. For now, I will just sit down and drink a hot tea. There is nothing else I can do at the moment.
Bethany was a very kind-hearted woman, something that I never expected to experience, especially directed towards me. We quickly became friends as well. The three of us enjoyed spending evenings with each other, usually watching movies or playing board games. Despite me missing the technological advancements of the future, it felt nice to be back to older times, it just made me realize how much I actually missed out on. An maybe I would be able to see it develop now, instead of bursting in right in the middle of its existance.
~~~
"Hello, are you alright? It must be exhausting to work on this machine 24/7. I got you some leftover food, it's all I could get without being suspicious. Don't worry, it wasn't touched by my hands or my mouth, you can safely eat it."
"I didn't doubt that, and I am just a little exhausted, that's all. Thanks for taking care about me."
"I try my best, at least. Want a pillow, I am pretty sure you need some rest. I heard that it's not good to stay without sleep for too long."
"If you can get one, otherwise I can just use my arms as such."
Acronix stood up in exitement, coming back just a few minutes later.
"Here, I got a small one to not be noticed, but it should be good enough for now. I can try to get somthing bigger next time!"
"It's alright, thanks. It should even fit in this drawer so that I can hide it once your brother arrives. Also, can I ask you a question?"
"Of course, ask ahead. I don't bite."
The inventor laughed at that.
"Why are you so nice to me? There is no need for you to do all this. Unless it's part of your plan to gain my trust just to backstab me..."
"No no no! That's not the reason why. I just want to help! i never wanted to be evil, but I am stuck with it. There is no escape now. Just because my brother hates you doesn't mean I have to. I know it's risky, but he doesn't have to know, right? Besides, I truly hate the way he treats you, I could have never imagine what cruelty and inhumanity he's capable of. I genuinely hate Krux, he doesn't even see how much all this hurts me. I just wish that one day, he would understand that this is the wrong path, but the more I try to stir him in the right direction, the more I realise that it is already too late. My acting skills are decent enough to keep this façade up for a while longer, but I feel like I am going crazy with all this! I just want a brother, but not someone like him, someone who actually cares about me. All this time only has been about his stupid plan, defeating the Ninja and winning a battle 40 years in the past. What about the 6-minute-rule! He didn't reverse our family's death because of it, and now he wants to go back 40 entire decades! What the hell is wrong with him!"
"People can chance, even though some of them never do, but he is definetely part of the first group. No matter how innocent of a child he has once been, that Cruz is gone. You told me your story, he died alongside his parents, we both know that. He's gone. But you are not alone. Right now, I can understand this feeling more than ever, just know, you are not alone. I will believe in you. I will be there whenever you need me, all you need to do is ask."
"I don't want my brother to win this. I want his plan to fail, maybe then he will realize that what he's doing is wrong, how much this pains me. Can you maybe do something for it?"
"There is one thing that I could possibly do with this strict surveillance... But for now, please let me sleep."
"Alright. I will go watch the door in case my brother comes."
~~~
"My night was relatively good. At least I know who I can trust and who to leave behind. I may be an only-child, but at least I have no manipulative siblings surrounding me. At least, for the first time in forever, I was able to experience what freedom feels like. I genuinely hate you and I wish you weren't my brother and once the time comes, I will let go of the pain you caused, but that time isn't now. Until then, goodbye. I won't miss you. Ace, out..."
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#40: Trust Fund/Joanna Gruesome - Split 12" EP
Released - Sep 22, 2014
Highest UK chart position - Did not chart
First heard - Forums, 2014
If I make a little tally chart of when I discovered all of these songs, 2014 accounts for a full 20% of them. The reason for this is not so mysterious: after over a decade of being able to do next to nothing, I found myself suddenly able to do slightly more than next to nothing and so the era of buying less than half a dozen CDs a year suddenly fell away. I looked around music blogs and forums, I found people with (what my girlfriend calls) “cousin eardrums” on the internet and I started to build a relationship with a world outside my head for the first time in years. This EP was at the centre of what I loved about DiY indie at that time, primarily because it was the first Trust Fund record that I heard and Trust Fund remain for me the best of those bands. My capacity to talk about them has already been tested to worrying levels (there’s a very long essay I wrote about them somewhere on the internet that was referred to as my dissertation by friends), but I appreciate that my audience here is more of the “who dat?” variety, so I shall try and keep this fairly brief.
Tho the 10s are largely regarded as a musical backwater for indie, I’m tempted to think of them as a Golden Age for DiY guitar pop. Being what it was, it broke little new ground, but there was a strong sense of character in the music that made its identity feel distinct to me - maybe that’s just the zeal of the newcomer, idk. Trust Fund themselves sound a lot like American slacker rock pushed thru a UK indiepop blender: you could hear the chunky Weezer style powerchords and the more angular Pavement-type elements, but within that, there’s also Ellis Jones’s faltering, high pitched whine of a voice singing about his two favourite subjects, awkward friendship and dishonesty. At one of these two poles is “No Pressure”, an alt country daze where Jones offers a girlfriend a safe space for some sort of emotional recovery. This leads to some of his best lines - “this is not your house and you do not cut the grass” in particular captures all the care and solicitousness of making sure someone feels welcome in a difficult situation - and the song itself becomes a sombre but comforting refuge from the worst that the world has to offer. At the other is the razor sharp power pop of Scared, an absolute rush of a song but one where pace and melody tend to mask the sheer desperation of Ellis’s vocal. Lead track Reading The Wrappers is great too - (ed. makes “wind it up” gestures) - yeah, alright… (for fucks sake - ed.)
The other side of this 12” single is occupied by Joanna Gruesome, a better band than their name suggests but who are not on top form here: only the elegiac shimmer and melancholy of Coffee Implosion matches up to any of the Trust Fund tunes. That doesn’t really matter tho - four of these six songs are among the very best of their kind. While it’s a record that still stands on its merits, it’s become a time capsule for me too, a moment where I was excited by music for the first time in years and feeling like my life was, for once, heading somewhere other than indefinite illness. The illness thing didn’t pan out: I got worse again, improved more, had a breakdown somewhere in the middle and finally understood that being able to go for a walk and make my own dinner was about as good as it was likely to get. But the music is still important to me, both on this record and all the others that I discovered from 2013/14 onwards. I can’t say much has ever happened in my life - it’s largely been based around long periods of nothing at all - but this was a time when I again became a person that related to the outside world as something other than a sick body and those records were my conduit for that. Whatever it is that I’ve become now, it began with these songs.
#Uncool50#50favouritesingles#Trust Fund#Joanna Gruesome#Indiepop#DiY pop#10s Music#Bandcamp#Personal
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WIP Update - 31 Aug 2022
A fairly productive week - I touched 6 fics (4 WIPs & 2 new works) for a total of 2024 words. @psychiccatpanda and I posted Chapter 4 of our Stucky --> Stuckony non-traditional a/b/o WIP and a Steve POV ficlet where he learns about asexuality over on Ao3 and I wrote & posted a Stony a/b/o ficlet for Flash Fiction Friday that also fills my Omega Steve square on my Steve Rogers Bingo card.
I’m up to 12 active WIPs (with a couple of maybe TBCs) with my current deadlines being my submission for the @reforgedzine and @avengersbingo .
See below cut for the WIPs (arranged more or less by bingos/challenges/etc) I am working on - feel free to send me prompts or plot bunnies as well as asks regarding any of these projects (or any other WIPs I’ve got out there) – they really help feed the Muse and keep me motivated!
Suck-tember [ Runs thru 30 Sep]
As you might guess from the name, @suck-tember is a writing event focused on oral gratification. I read through the list of prompts and decided to try to combine a few with my bingo squares.
* Day 2: Swollen: Finished the rough draft of Chapter 2 of Mutual Pinning this morning; it’s basically ThunderShield (Steve/Thor) smut with a focus on oral sex, leading into a third chapter of full on sex. Currently sitting at 1361 words.
Reforged - A WinterIron Zine [Deadline 12 Nov]
I got accepted to submit a 1k-3.5k fic for this project, and have submitted a basic idea & completed my first checkin. Am poking at it little by little; it’s sitting at 1901 words - so just over halfway done word-wise. Plot wise? That’s still TBD… I have very broad strokes in mind that are going to be tricky to get done in the words I have left… :: eek::
Avengers Bingo [AvB] (Runs thru 24 Dec)
Five fills posted and 0 WIPs - I decided to further challenge myself on this 16-square card by pairing up each square with a unique combo of 2 original MCU Avengers, with the final square being PolyVengers. With the help of the STB Enthusiasts Discord folks - I’ve got all 16 squares planned out, at least in terms of who to write about, and half of them have some sort of idea or crossover square to go along with them. Feel free to toss other plot bunnies my way…
* A3 - Reunited - Clint & Natasha - Endgame Ronin scene?
* B1 - Death - possible crossover with MWAP Crying and SRB Bruce Banner squares - post Snap Bruce & Steve mourning?
* B3 - Road Trip - Bruce & Thor - Post Grandmaster, pre-Thanos space shenanigans
* B4 - Age Gap - Thor/Tony - possible crossover with TSB One Night Stand (obvious title: Thunderstruck)
* C1 - Opposites Attract - Clint/Thor - there was a fun Tumblr headcanon going around about a Bumbling Foreigner whose ignorance of local customs results in him flirting with/proposing to the prince - this seems like a perfect matchup!
* C3 - Reincarnation AU - Natasha & Tony - post-Endgame.
* D1 - Friends w/ Benefits - Clint/Steve - crossover with MWAPB Hawkeye/Clint Barton and possibly SRB - Never Have I Ever
* D2 - Romeo & Juliet AU - basic idea: Steve (jock) & Tony (geek) trying out for title roles in R&J - despite their respective FWB groups thinking it’s a terrible idea. Title: Two Polycules, Alike in Dignity
* D3 - Bed Sharing - Bruce/Natasha - AoU compliant.
Man With a Plan (Steve Rogers) Bingo [MWAPB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)
Nine fills, 1 WIPs and several Vague Ideas/potential cross fills with other bingos. Prompts cheerfully accepted!
* B3 - Farmer’s Market - now looking at a crossover with TSB Doing Groceries. Moodboard + ficlet?
* B4 - Powerless AU - if Sunqueen and I decide to continue Wrong Number, Right Call , this would be a good fit.
* I1 - Steve is here for TFAtWS - this might go well with my BBB “Oh, hell no" square - Steve trolling Bucky & Sam by sending the old man in with his shield? (moodboard & ficlet?)
* I5 - Dogsitting - possible crossover with BBB “Run” square - Steve & Bucky dogsitting for Lucky? (moodboard + ficlet)
* N1 - School AU/Teacher AU - if I decide to continue on with Technicalities - I could fill this square :: ponders::
* N3 - Online shopping - this might be fun as a crossover with BBB Thighs Sam buys a revealing swimsuit for Bucky as a gag that gets Steve in a tizzy.
* G3 - USO Tour - posted Not Broken, Just Different -- a crossover with @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt [#FFF164 A False Confession] -- to Ao3 this morning - Steve POV internal monologue/identity issues of sorts that came in at 601 words.
* G4 - Canon Divergence post CA:TWS - possible crossover with BBB Kill List – Bucky wreaking havoc on Hydra bases and Steve & Sam catch up with him
* G5 - Friends to Lovers - might use this for Chapter 3 of Mutual Pinning
* O1 - Crying - see AvB Death square above
* O2 - Sex Pollen - Teenage Groot pollen = aphrodisiac hi-jinks. Quill & Gamora warn the couple (stucky)/throuple (Stuckony) ahead of time, so no dub-con.
* O3 - Hawkeye/Clint Barton - see AvB - Friends w/ Benefits above.
StarkBucks Bingo - Round 3 (SBB_R3) - Ends 31 Dec
5 fills, 1 WIPs and several Vague Ideas - soliciting plot bunnies or other kick-starters.
* B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.“ - Possible crossover with BBB - KINK: Seduction Mission?
* B3 - AU: Canon Divergence - probable crossover with TSB Endgame FixIt
* B4 - AU: Dealer’s Choice - Filled this with Chapter 4 of Flawed Hypothesis, which posted on Friday and came in at 1077 words.
* I2 - Mistaken Identity - crossover with TSB K5 - Protectiveness - “The Mechanic, The Soldier & The Artist” - mob/assassin AU with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith twist?
* I4 - Canon: Avengers Academy - will probably do Stuffed Marvels sketches of Tony and Winter, as I know very little about the game/canon.
* I5 - Matchmaker Bots - possible crossover with TSB Occupational Hazard
* N2 - Blanket - Thanks to the July BBB Discord party , I have an idea for combining this with my TSB AU: College square and BBB Funeral square.
* G3 - “This might as well happen.” Going to see if I can squish this into a Stucky –> Stuckony spur-of-the-moment threesome fic inspired by a series of posts with @needyoucap over on the STB Enthusiasts Discord server that in turn led to their WIP Steve & Bucky’s Sexy Bucket List. My version (alternating POV) is sitting at 1049 words and will also fill my TSB square Hindsight.
* O1 - Royalty - crossover with TSB - IronWidow & BBB AU: Arranged Marriage - pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion back up?
* O6 - AU: Biker - Grease 2 fusion anyone? 😁 I watched the movie a couple of weeks ago and took notes - It’s not gonna be a faithful adaptation, but hopefully fun - tho am having a tough time deciding who is Michael (probably Bucky, tho a case could be made for Tony)
Hero Hardships Bingo [HHB] (Runs thru 31 Dec)
Signups re-opened for this non-fandom-specific event (see @herohardshipsbingo for details) so I grabbed me a card! Still trying to match squares up across my other bingos, but I have a few Vague Ideas already, including one WIP
* I3 - Unimaginable Grief – I‘m thinking an post-Endgame Rhodey POV would work nicely here…
* N5 - Forgetting who you are because of who you’re expected to be - This should fit nicely with the in-progress Tony POV chapter of Flawed Hypothesis, @psychiccatpanda and I are about 574 words into Chapter 5 at the moment.
Current Last Line: But Tony was a master of hiding discomfort and he fell into the role of charming omega once again.
* O3 - Dating a civilian - this would fit perfectly with another chapter of Takin’ What They’re Givin’ (‘Cause I’m Workin’ for a Livin’) , for which I currently have a basic plot point or two rolling around in my head.
Bucky Barnes Bingo - Round 4 [BBB_R4] (Runs thru 7 Jan 2023)
Ten fills, two WIPs & ideas for everything except one square - Working on a Column B bingo to start.
* B2 - Funeral - see SBB N2 - Blanket above
* B3 - Sam Wilson|Falcon - this would be a good candidate for a continuation of After One Or Two False Starts
* U2 - AU: Roommate - Still wanting to use the Meet Ugly prompt: 02. I bought a house three months ago but I’m finally moving in and discover you’ve been squatting because you’re homeless – probably WinterHawk with recovering!Bucky being the squatter in Clint’s apartment building.
* U4 - AU: Arranged Marriage - will probably pick Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion back up for this one.
* U5 - Kill List - see MWAP - G4 - Canon Divergence. Post CA:TWS above
* C2 - “Oh, hell no” - possible crossover with MWAP I1 - Steve is here for TFaWS
* C4 - KINK: Aftercare - possibly MWAP Sex Pollen or TSB KINK: Concubine
* K1 - Thighs - see MWAP: N3 - Online Shopping.
* K2 - Comics - sew the Stuffed Marvel Classic Comics Bucky Barnes I drew up for Bucky’s birthday.
* K3 - KINK: Edging - crossing over with TSB KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging & I finally got a start on the WinterIron PWP for this (Bucky POV with toy play and Tony as a power bottom) Hanging by a Moment is sitting at 96 words at the moment.
* Y2 - Never the fall that kills you - this might be the title for a reverse hanahaki WinterIron prompt from @lacrimula-falsa ….
* Y3 - “Run” - see MWAP I5 - Dogsitting above.
* Y4 - KINK: Seduction Mission - crossover with SBB - B1 - “I wouldn’t mind wasting my time on you.”
* ADOPTED1 - Peggy Carter - possible crossover with N4 - Soulmates (WW3some shenanigans!)
Steve Rogers Bingo - Round 2 (SRB_R2) - Ends 31 Jan
Nine fills posted – thanks mostly to the @steverogersweek event! Zero WIPs at the moment, but happy accepting plot bunnies here as well.
* A1 - Never Have I Ever - see AvB Friends with Benefits
* A4 - Touch Attention/Denial - possible chapter 2 of Mutual Pinning (ThunderShield sexytimes)
* B1 - Omega Steve - Posted A Not-So-Mere Relic - a Stony a/b/o ficlet (Tony POV) here on Tumblr last Friday as a crossover with @flashfictionfridayofficial‘s prompt #FFF165 A Mere Relic; it also fills my TSB square KINK: Alpha/Beta/Omega Society and came in at 815 words. It will get posted over on Ao3 sometime in the next few weeks. Thanks again to @deehellcat for the idea of Alpha!Tony with an heirloom collar!
* B2 - Mile High Club - this seems made for Stony sexy shenanigans…
* B3 - Bruce Banner - see AvB Death above.
* C1 - Arranged Marriage - see SBB Royalty square - remix/Part 2?
* E2 - Comics Nomad Steve - SWC sketch of Nomad!Steve
Tony Stark Bingo - Round 6 (TSB_R6) [Ends 28 Feb]
Three fills and 1 WIP at the moment - with about a dozen Vague Ideas.
* S4 - Timeloops - outsider POV of Tony in a Groundhog day/Edge of Tomorrow - Steve or Bucky friends to lovers - inspired by this post
* T1 - One Night Stand - see AvB - B4 - Age Gap
* T2 - Doing Groceries - see MWAP B3 - Farmer’s Market
* T3 - Pepper Potts/Rescue - remix of sabrecmc’s Indecent Proposal
* T4 - KINK: Concubine - possible crossover with BBB C4 - KINK: Aftercare?
* A2 - KINK: Alpha/Beta/Omega Society - see SRB Omega Steve above.
* A4 - AU: College - see SBB N2 - Blanket
* R2 - IronWidow - next chapter of Lady Natasha’s Consort and Lord Steve’s Companion ?
* R4 - Occupational Hazard - see SBB I5 - Matchmaker Bots
* K1 - Endgame Fix-It - see SBB B3 - AU: Canon Divergence
* K2 - Secret Admirer - carried this over from last round so I could try my hand a remix of Seeds of Love (WinterIron hanahaki fic by the super-talented @hddnone). Potential title: Wraps Around My Heart, Refusing to Unwind
* K3 - KINK: Orgasm Denial/Edging - see BBB KINK: Edging
* K5 - Protectiveness - see SBB *I2 - Mistaken Identity
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On other creative fronts: I have a custom Bride of Frankenstein in progress with an Audrey II on deck (Little Shop of Horrors). I currently have one September commission slot available. Am also gearing up for a classic monster/horror con in October and a superhero con in March - so am focused on building up stock for both. Plus I have to make space for Marvel Trumps Hate - coming soon to a social media near you!
if you’re looking for one of a kind gifts you can plan ahead for the holiday season and check out Stuffed With Character over on Facebook for a full list of my designs (now over 80!). They’re mostly Marvel and monsters, but I have some Star Wars, Star Trek, DC and Disney figures as well. Plus I love to take custom design requests for any fandom!
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The Eclipse Ep 6 Live Blogging
I have class from 10:10-11 while this show goes on from 9:40-10:40 so... is it better to just watch it all at 11 or start at 9:40, watch part 1 and maybe 2, then watch other parts at 11? Agh, why couldn’t this show be at 9 or my class at 11 T.T I need this show in my brain as soon as it releases
Sep 15
Okay, I didn’t start watching it as it premiered, so am now watching the whole thing after my class ended (which ended 10 minutes later than scheduled </3). thankfully I’ve avoided spoilers so far hoho (except someone saying “wow they really turned the prefects club into a cult” so... that’s giving me some thoughts and someone else saying they were shaking while watching pt 4 lol)
6-1
bro absolutely incredible way of weaving in Akk’s initiation with the fire and his smile vs the fire and his expression now
oh wait is she not supposed to monitoring the school? Chadok seems surprised to see her at the office. Is she also investigating on her own?
No fucking way D: I really was hoping Akk hadn’t done the car to neutral thing because that really could hurt someone but he had ahh. Someone on MDL brought it up last week that in that scene 1) Akk was the first one to shout to move, how did he know when he’d just come onto the scene? 2) Maybe Akk chased Ayan because he thought Ayan knew. I’ll keep this in mind when I decide to rewatch the episodes ig
Anyway, also very interesting that Ayan knew the whole time that Akk did that... will keep that fact in mind too when I rewatch
6-2
I do love it when they show the fact that Akk’s doing what he’s doing not just because he loves the school but because of self-serving reasons as well, whether it be that he wants the college scholarship like he admitted in ep 5 or that he doesn’t want Suppalo’s reputation to be ruined while he’s the head of the prefects. + the “You maintain peace and goodness by doing all those shitty things, Akk?”
He says he doesn’t wanna hurt anybody, that’s why I was so hoping that he didn’t do the flower pot + car stints because those can certainly hurt someone
the direction of the conversation is slightly confusing to me like it’s adjacent to what needs to be said but now exactly? or maybe it is... the way to get through to Akk doing bad things selfishly is to reassure him that he doesn’t need to do all that instead of just saying why the fuck are you doing all that dumbass? Also, I guess Ayan already knew Akk was doing bad shit and liked him still, so he cares more about Akk than his deeds and wants to show that.
Ayan’s hand on Akk’s nape. Hah. okay. well.
Okay, this conversation about Chadok and Ayan questioning him is what I thought would happen before the reassurance and caring stuff but I guess it was like “Ayan questioning him” -> “Ayan reassuring him just to show that he cares and also to let Akk know he can talk to him” -> “Ayan questioning him again”
I’m fine with teacher/student romances when I’m watching a show with like no damn morality but this one where we’re very concerned with people in power and how they use it, I hope they don’t go there and if they do, I wonder how they’d handle it. Although... I wonder if she isn’t just using Wat at this point to just more info on his group/Akk and perhaps Chadok in a roundabout way.
uhh was Not expecting Kan’s “Cause you’re always with Aye. I’m jealous.” goddamn how will you wiggle out of that one my guy. Ah yes, this is like the 50th BL that has used the worried/jealous sounding similar in Thai excuse lol also Thua’s smile ahhhhh
bruv this part took me forever to watch. This is what happens when I’m not watching during premier I guess
6-3
no way not the “are you guys just a ship or real?” i thought i would’ve avoided this shit in this show at least. I guess it’s fun to see Ayan enjoying and milking it though lol Ayan’s laugh is sooo cute here
Ayan called The World Remembers trio “the 3 Jums” what does that mean?
Thua has some meddling ass friends lmfao first Ayan telling his mom that Thua keeps things to himself + Kan’s audacity right here saying “If he does anything, tell me and I’ll deal with him” right in front of Thua’s stepdad like won’t that just make it worse for Thua?
I’m so confused by this stepdad “if he’s your faen, admit it. we’re in a new age now. how’s school?” seems like something caring people would say but I guess it’s a way to make Thua lower his guards OR that he’s an alright dude most of the time but gets really angry really quickly and that’s when he’s abusive
KanThua “legendary boyfriends” so funny
a flashback to Kan and Thua before their falling out? Hal said that in the special ep, they said the two used to be friends before before Kan started avoiding Thua and has only just started getting close to him again
lol Akk’s walking into school after dark privileges (we’re gonna ignore how they both got in and left before in part 1 I guess)
6-4
in the thumbnail, Ayan has his hand around Akk’s head too while in bed, so that’s good because the teaser from last week was like “ooh Akk’s going in for the kiss while Ayan’s asleep”
Ayan’s so funny, just getting into bed with Akk with a smile. this whole bed sharing scene is sooo bl, so cute.
I’m too nervous to continue watching ahh like 5 mins left
Aw, Ayan’s nightmare again :( Also the first time we saw it, we didn’t know much about the necklace but now we know for sure that it’s like current day Ayan with his necklace have a nightmare that he was there with Dika but couldn’t stop him
I heard a kiss sound but also could see Ayan’s uncovered lips, so cheek kiss?
okayy several kisses and cuddling afterwards. I liked the silence no bg-music kiss (tho ngl the heavy breathing after the kiss threw me off cuz I was like um??? but it was just Ayan getting a hold of himself I think). I also like that it’s a soft, comforting kiss; their chemistry and dynamic means that you kind of expect like an explosive kiss and I really hope we do get one later but their first ones being kinda unsure before going in again and being comforting is so good
I guess I won’t watch the preview but I suspect I’ll be spoiled about it anyway.
Overall Episode Thoughts:
short episodes but we get to see everything: curse stuff, akk and ayan romantic and platonic progressions, akk character development, wat and teacher sani, kan and thua. even got glimpses of The World Remembers kids (and glad to know they’re liked and having fun outside of school), no prefect trio scenes but got Wat talking about them + kan and wat convo, got a glimpse of Chadok, no progress on the uncle but we saw him in the nightmare again, also spent time searching for the notebook even if we didn’t find it.
Really enjoyed it, the show keeps getting better and better. I love how much things have started making sense retroactively now that we know that Akk is the curse and Ayan knew it too. This makes me hopeful that they’ll continue have a comprehensible and fun plot and reveals, as well as land the ending hopefully
Fave Scene:
The first and last scenes I think. I thought the production of the show thus far has been alright but not impressive but I loved how the first scene and the last scene were shot and edited a lot.
The way the present and past scenes were weaved together was so good, connected by the fire but Akk’s expression as he’s initiated surrounded by people, including ones he adores vs his expression as he is about to set fire to the effigy really impacted me right at the start of the episode.
For the last scene, I was surprised by this show which is obsessed with dramatic background music chose for it be silent. I think it was a very good choice, made me anticipate the characters’ reactions more and also portrayed the “they’re the only ones here” vibe well.
+ Khao’s laughter in that beachside food scene when the servers asked if they’re a ship or real
Curse Culprit Suspects (Or the Notebook Thief):
Well, seems like Akk is the only Curse Culprit.
I actually don’t know how the Notebook Thief is other than people saying they didn’t see Kan or Thua in the scene.
Also, I wonder when Namo’s gonna make an impact. Is he scheming something or is he just a red herring and he’s gonna be helpful in the end somehow? Or maybe turn against the students in the end but isn’t against them right now.
Most viewers that I saw per part during the premiere
6-1: 10k
6-2: 7.4k
6-3: 9.9k (this one started quite a few minutes after 6-2, so people could catch up)
6-4: 15k (damn, so did they fr kiss here instead of a sleeping peck. there was a tweet from gmmtv of khaofirst saying the ending of this episode will be flaming hot so 🤔)
lol me not watching the show, just seeing the numbers on the gmmtv website like wow i wish that was me. People watching in theatre with the cast even smh
omg went on discord for 1 sec and it popped up someone saying “I’m acc shaking rn” so alskdjak i had to leave discord immediately in case i get actually spoiled but i’m sooo curious oof it’s :41, 20 more minutes until i can start watching it D:
12 hours later
6-1: 440k
6-4: 450k (bc of the kiss lol)
Avg: 405k (bc parts 2 and 3 are closer to 350k)
Views Tracking (just because I’m curious):
Gonna get rid of the part 4 tracking and just do part 1 + average
5 Weeks Later
Ep 1 - 1: 1.55M (+130k)
Avg Ep 1: 1M (+40k)
4 Weeks Later
Ep 2 - 1: 1M (+70k)
Avg Ep 2: 810k (+60k)
3 Weeks Later
Ep 3 - 1: 980 (+90k)
Avg Ep 3: 785k (+75k)
2 Weeks Later
Ep 4 - 1: 1.05M (+85k)
Avg Ep 4: 815k (+95)
1 Week Later
Ep 5 - 1: 850k
Avg Ep 5: 710k
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Reagan rubbed the designs in the ancient Hai Mataou she always wore. It had been passed down for generations, finally landing with her on her 16th birthday. It used to be white, but despite the care her family provided for it, it had faded to a dull yellow, the symbols and markings long cracked and faded, as taniwha bone did with age. The magic the relic used to contain was faded as well, however much it contained dwindling to a few residue sparks with age. In the center of the spiraling designs were carved letters, reaching out to each other amidst the tendrils of shallow grooves. It really was a beautiful thing. She could barely make out the initials, but it looked to be a crooked E and a curved V. Or maybe it was a U, but something told her it was the former.
She was still fiddling with it when Sep walked in, jumping up to her outcropping of rock and settled next to her. Reagan barely even looked up. Sep had come to visit her everyday since she got here -- at first it was annoying, surely he had other places to be and other things to do than bother her. Somehow his visits grew on her, especially when she realized that he was her only companion -she wouldn't call him a friend just yet- in this dismal cave. Some days, they talked. About Verr, about Veraldwiz, about life. Most days they sat in silence.
Today, Sep was staring at the artifact in her hands. "What is that?"
Reagan didn't look up. She held the little hook up by it's handle, wrapped in worn leather, the longest in a line of repairs. If she focused on it, the glowworms above her disappeared in a blur of blue, framing the carefully crafted artifact. "Hei Mataou. Family heirloom."
"Oh. Who gave it to you?"
"My... mother. Before she died." Sep dipped his head. "I'm sorry." He whispered, falling silent again.
"It's okay." Reagan pulled her legs under her and held out her hook. "Would you like to see it?"
Sep nodded. His hands were warm when Reagan dropped it into his palm.
Reagan watched as Sep held it up to the light, twisting it, gently tracing the carvings. His breath suddenly hitched when he flipped it over and read the initials. Reagan looked at him.
"Where did you find this?"
Reagan shrugged. "It's been in the family for hundreds of years. I guess someone found it when the Island was destroyed and Sintania invaded. I guess it's one of the last Hei Mataou we have from Sintania's reign. At least, that's what my father said."
"Ah. And Sintania was..."
"No clue. Some kind of Polynesian emperor or whatever. I didn't really pay attention in my history classes."
Sep nodded. He froze, then his hand jerked to his neck and he let out a shaky breath as he pulled a necklace out from beneath his shirt. Slowly, he joined the Hei Mataou with his... own fish hook carving. A fish hook with the same markings, same initials, and the complete opposite of Reagan's that fit perfectly in the cracks and grooves and spikes of her Hei Mataou.
Before she knew it, Sep was crying silently. Reagan reached a hand out, but Sep pushed it away. "It's the last thing I have of him...."
"Of... who?" And who exactly was this guy sitting beside her, with an exact copy of the pendant she took everywhere.
"Victor. He died."
"Oh. So the V stands for Victor. What's the E?"
"Ethan." Sep breathed out. Reagan likely wouldn't have heard it if she wasn't listening, hanging on to his every word.
"Ethan. Huh."
"I... I miss him. But he's still here, with me. He's in Ky now."
"Ky?" Reagan echoed.
"He's been with me since he died." Sep said. His voice was quiet, but still echoed in the chamber.
"I'm sorry..."
"It's fine. It happened so long ago..." Sep sighed. "Here's your relic."
Reagan barely caught the Hei Mataou before it could plummet into the rippling water below.
"If... you don't mind me asking. When did he die, exactly?"
Sep froze, halfway to his feet.
"Sep?"
"I... it's best you--" Something clicked. Reagan's breath hitched. "You're Ethan."
Sep let out a choked sob, violently shaking his head. "Please, no--"
Reagan stood up, stepping towards Sep. "When did Victor die?"
"No--"
"Who are you?" Reagan hissed. Sep let out a pained cry, tears slipping down his face.
"I-I have to go--"
"Sep, Ethan, whoever you are, ANSWER ME!"
There was a split second where Reagan watched as Sep's eyes flashed with hatred and fear and pain, before he was lunging at Reagan with a shout of fury. Reagan screamed as she fell backwards into the water. When she finally resurfaced, terrified, furious, and spluttering as she trying not to swallow the water, she realized Sep was gone. Only when she reached the rocky shore, shivering and gasping for breath, did she realize the Hei Mataou was gone.
~
What is a Hei Mataou? A Hei Mataou is greenstone or bone carved in the shape of a fish hook representing strength, prosperity, fertility, good luck and safe travel over water. It's meaning originated from the Maori legend of Maui who once caught a great fish using only a woven line and hook made from the jawbone of his grandmother.
What are taniwha? In Māori mythology, taniwha are large supernatural beings that live in deep pools in rivers, dark caves, or in the sea, especially in places with dangerous currents or deceptive breakers (giant waves)."
Sintania is loosely based on Santana from the Marvel Comics and, aside from being the person who conquered NZ after the Disaster, they have no real relevance to the plot.
Like I said, knee-deep in research. There are some liberties I took for my world-building and mythology-based magic system, but even then, it is based on Maori culture, so if I got anything wrong or portrayed anything in an offensive way, just let me know :)
#my writing#my characters#original character#hei mataou#maori mythology#maori culture#maori#new zealand#colors of Veraldwiz#schizophrenia#schizophrenic character#immortal character#implied/referenced character death#dealing with grief#in a not healthy way#taniwha#halucination#the people found the hei mataou in the ruins of Ititai New Zealan#that's a fictional city btw#hope you enjoy#futuristic fantasy#underground#glow worms#caves#platonic relationships#angst#ghasghdska the feels I have about this book
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Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (556): Sun 24th Sep 2023
My last day in Gran Canaria. I was a bit depressed knowing I had to go back to freezing Sunderland but reassured myself that I won’t have to tolerate the cold for long because I’m going to start making a holiday in the sun a regular treat for myself. I think I’ll start coming here four times a year to celebrate the end of the Autumn, the Winter, the Spring and possibly the coldest season in the UK: the summer. Unlike the hotels I stay in when I travel around the UK the hotel I was staying at didn’t require me to be up and out the door at the break of fucking dawn so I got a little bit of a lie in this morning. I’m already a little bit sunburnt and my clothes are irritating my skin so I didn’t go in the sun today in case I made it worse and was in agony for the entire journey home. Instead I sat in the shade and started reading the next book in my Edgar challenge: The Lock Artist by Steve Hamilton. It’s about a mute kid named Michael who from an early age becomes gifted at unlocking locks and naturally turns to a life of crime. While I was waiting for my coach to arrive I played some pool on the table by the pool area. After one shot the white ball went in one of the pockets and a guy walking by said “Two shots” and I replied “I’ve already had five pints” and despite this being the funniest thing anyone has ever said / ever will say he didn’t ask if he could be my best friend. I got picked up at 6pm to get taken to the airport and waved goodbye (for now) to this little slice of paradise. I’m so glad I decided to not bring a suitcase because being able by I get checked in and through to the departure lounge in a matter of minutes made this one of the most pleasurable journeys I’ve ever been on. I still had two hours to kill before my flight so I walked around looking for stuff to write jokes about. I walked past a clothing store and they had a big life size plastic cow on display and for some reason it was on wheels. Now I’ve heard of a milkfloat but that’s just ridiculous (that will not be one of the lines I use when I do stand up next year in case you’re wondering…unless everything else I write in the meantime is absolute shit). When I finally got on the plane the pilot told us that we were expected to get there ahead of time which got a big cheer from the passengers. The old woman next to me fell asleep and her head dropped down and to the side. If she was sitting alone in a room on a chair like that you would’ve sworn she’d been shot from behind. I assumed that she’d be really uncomfortable when she woke up but she was really old so I assume that every time she wakes up she’s just happy that she’s not in Hell. We got home in just under four hours and I immediately darted past all the suckers at baggage claim, through the passport checking place, out the front door, let out the mother of all farts I’d been holding in for just over four hours then headed back in and got myself a taxi home which arrived almost immediately. This trip has been just what I needed. The cold autumn, winter and spring months are torturous but they’re made even more so by the fact that I constantly tell myself that the summer will be amazing and more than make for it…then it isn’t and it doesn’t. Say I live to be 75 that means I’m doomed to suffer through the miserable lead up to summer and then the crushing disappointment of summer 40 more times and I simply won’t do it. Once every three or four months I’m going to start booking a week long trip away to the Canary Islands as a reward for plowing through and enduring another shitty season.
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If you ain’t runnin’ game…
Dis Mon Nom | Sep. 11, 2017 | Bad Nylon
A lot of people who know me professionally know that I’m someone who draws a lot of inspiration from 90’s media, especially animation and music. I’ve been drawing for as long as I can remember, being a superfan of PPG (… don’t talk to me about the reboot) and Sailor Moon (don’t talk to me about that one either cause tbh I couldn’t keep up). I thought I’d grow up to be a cartoonist, but always found myself daydreaming about being in a girl-group. Funny enough, this had little to nothing to do with the fact that I was also musically inclined, and began producing beats to my original lyrics at the age of 11. Growing up in the 90’s, it was a Spice World. The Spice Girls were on every conceivable piece of merch and media and I was here for it. And while I hailed Missy Elliott as my hip hop queen, something about the unison of girls into a team spoke to me in more ways than one.
Anyone who knows me personally knows that as of lately, I haven’t been myself. I lost myself in people and in projects that took more out of me than they were willing to give back, and as a result, I was losing a part of my identity. I hadn’t found the drive to draw a proper piece in months, I was inundated in my work with my band, to the point that I nearly forgot why I was in one in the first place. I always tell people that I do what I do to inspire the next generation (which is 1000% true, love the behbies), but I was losing sight of what was inspiring me, and quickly relapsing into a low-maintenance depression.
That is until August 28th, 2017.
Strange Froots opened for Princess Nokia at Club Soda. It was an experience I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. I got to perform with my friends, my younger sister got to see me in action, and in the crowd was a sea of melanated fans my own age. For the first time, I really felt like our presence made a difference- in this generation.
And then. AND THEN. I SAW BAD NYLON LIVE.
Bad Nylon is a wonderful fellow gurl squad of primarily franco “rappas”, as they so aptly call themselves. Both groups performed last Friday at the OUMF Festival. They came to see us perform near the end of our set and were some of the most energetic folk in the audience. It was a truly beautiful spontaneous moment. They were performing on the main stage later that night, and I hadn’t seen them live yet, so I was definitely not missing it.
As soon as they hit the stage (after a mini-skit intro by a little girl, much à-la-Missy), they set it on fire with color-coordinated jumpsuits and the attitudes of well-seasoned masters of the game. Their energy, as well as their moves, were in sync; they were a unit, but still able to let their individuality shine through in their mannerisms. But what really got me… they hit us with a throwback medley, covering artists from Ja Rule to Ciara, from TLC to Destiny’s Child. And they did in such a fun-loving way, but still with no wahala.
I felt something I hadn’t in a very long time. I got home that night, playing it back in my head, playing back our conversations in the green room after the fact. They fully acknowledged the Powerpuff Girls comparisons, even going so far as debating who would be which. They had their families and young fans waiting for them at the bottom of the stage, as if just seeing a middle school recital. I saw in them what I saw in my junior high daydreams. 3 girls totally owning the stage like their faces are already on lunchboxes somewhere, exuding an energy of near-calculated success, but maintaining the carefree attitudes of 4 best friends who just got let out of detention for the weekend.
Expect great things from this group. I feel like a kid again, and I wanna be them when I grow up.
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Hi all! My name is Taylor, in case you forgot, and I just realized I haven’t posted consistently here in ages, so this is a lil update:
- I’m a technical school graduate with an Associate’s Degree in Graphic Comm.
- I haven’t used my degree lmao. I took about a year off after graduating (2017) and in 2018 I got a job at Walmart
- Walmart really was amazing for me. I branched out, made so many incredible friends, and met my boyfriend there! I also got my license (finally) so I could drive myself to and from, but I also got it for work. I worked in automotive and was a service writer, which they wouldn’t let me do until I got it.
- I worked there through COVID and 2020 was a mess. My dad had a car accident, found out through recovery from that that he had heart problems, so he had open heart surgery in Sep. 2020. (All is well now!) But we also all got covid a couple months later. And my dept was shut down at work so we were working the doors the whole time. It was a mess.
- I left Walmart in October 2021. My work bestie left in March and my boyfriend left in August. They hired children who would not listen to me or my coworkers with seniority (and more common sense). So now I work for a local distribution company and make more and have way less stress!
- I saw Harry and Louis both last year, in Chicago, and this year I’m seeing Louis in MKE.
I cannot guarantee I’ll be here more consistently but I will try to pop in more often! 🥰
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Spark's Dream
Dewy golden light filtered through the trees, creating patches of sunlit earth here and there on the path. It started out as a clear, well-trodden dirt road, but as Spark moved along, the ground became overrun with leaves, roots, and vines. They turned, stumbling on legs that weren't fully in their control at the tender age of 5. In the last few minutes of walking, they had completely lost sight of their parents. Lush green trees towered menacingly above the small child's head, branches swaying every so often in the breeze that passed through--a breeze that carried with it many strange and frightening sounds from deeper within the forest.
Heart pounding loudly in their chest, Spark pushed forward since that seemed to be their only course of action. They tried calling for their parents, but the cry got stuck in their throat as panic began to force its way up. In fact, they couldn't see any other living creature, Pokemon or human, through the thick bushes that now encircled them. Spark gripped their hands into small fists and pushed through one of the bushes.
A boy about their age turned around in surprise as Spark tumbled out of the leafy greens into the small clearing. His dark blue eyes were wide with shock, framed by wild and unkempt green hair; the Pokemon around him seemed equally stunned by the Spark's sudden appearance. The smallest, a dark grey fox-like Pokemon with red markings, darted forward with a growl, ready to protect its friend.
"C-can you help me?" Spark asked, their desperation outweighing any feeling of intimidation from this little Pokemon. The green-haired boy continued to stare for a moment, long enough that Spark wondered if he could even speak. When he did, his voice was so soft that Spark had to take a few more steps forward to hear.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm lost," Spark replied, voice slowly rising as panic swept through them again. "I got sep-separ--I don't know where my parents are. We were walking together but now I--I don't know where I am and--"
"Hey," the boy said, suddenly closing the gap between them to grab Spark's hands. "It's okay. I can help you find your parents." And as Spark gazed into his deep, ocean-coloured eyes, they instantly felt calmer.
"Th-thanks," Spark sniffled. "My name is Spark. What's yours?"
"I, er...I don't have a name," the boy replied, withdrawing his hands. "I live here in the forest with my Pokemon friends. We don't really...use names." He hunched his shoulders, waiting for judgement from the other child--but Spark was gazing at him in wonder.
"You live with these Pokemon?" they echoed. "That's so cool!" They hopped forward excitedly and crouched down in front of the dark fox Pokemon, who flinched but now seemed equally curious about Spark as they continued. "It's nice to meet you all. I'm not from Unova so I don't know a lot of the Pokemon here."
"Ah...well, this is Zorua," the boy explained as Spark held out their hand for the Pokemon to sniff. Zorua leaned forward cautiously, and as it did, the other Pokemon in the boy's company came forward to inspect Spark as well. Spark giggled as the creatures made contact, sniffing at their arms and legs, while the boy looked on with surprise. "They like you."
"I like you all, too!" Spark said brightly, their fears having melted away completely in light of their new company.
"Follow me," said the boy once his Pokemon friends had finished inspecting the newcomer. The group turned and led Spark out of the clearing. Now as they traversed through the forest, Spark found themselves more at ease with the various sounds coming from all around them. Even the trees seemed friendlier, and as they followed the boy and his Pokemon, more and more golden light filtered through until they reached a solid path again. Spark perked up as they caught wind of familiar voices in the distance.
"You should be alright now," the boy said, halting at the edge of the path. "Goodbye."
"Wait--come meet my parents!" Spark said, but the boy and his Pokemon friends had already vanished by the time they turned around. Spark stood there baffled until their parents finally appeared to scoop them up with many exclamations of relief. Spark strained to catch any last glimpse of the boy who had helped them, but he was gone. As their parents carried them off, the young child felt themselves beginning to fall, golden light spinning all around them.
Spark sat up with a jolt as the sudden blare of a foghorn brought them back to the waking world. Mind still reeling from their dream, they adjusted their square-framed glasses and looked around. They were sitting in the cabin of a small ferry that had departed from Castelia City earlier that day, and now seemed to be approaching its destination-- a small port just outside of Nuvema Town. Few others were aboard this ride, one of them being a young woman named Fennel who was escorting Spark under the direction of Professor Juniper.
"Did you sleep okay?" the junior scientist asked. "You seemed to be having a pretty intense dream; I was worried you might fall out of your chair."
"Yeah, I'm fine," Spark replied with a smile. "Just...reliving a memory from my childhood."
"I hope it was a good memory," Fennel said, eyes shining with curiosity.
"Actually, it was about someone I'm hoping to find during my journey," Spark began, but before they could launch into a proper explanation, the foghorn sounded again as the small ferry pulled into port. The two passengers gathered their belongings and departed from the ferry with a wave to its captain. As they stepped onto the dock, Spark took in a deep breath--finally, their journey through Unova was about to begin.
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