“Isn’t it frightening?” No.

-The Queens Gambit (Walter Tevis)

*playing aggressive connect four* Alex: [triumphantly slams his hands down on the table] The game is MINE, Henry! Henry: Your fly is open Alex

Weiss: Do you always drink this much?

Ruby: ...Sometimes I drink more.

The Queen's Gambit as Dark Academia

“She had flirted with alcohol for years. Now it was time to consummate the relationship.”

― Walter Tevis, The Queen's Gambit.

Beth [after losing to Benny at speed chess]: I'm outraged! I'm appalled! I'm... a little turned on.

do have to say that i love the irony of so many of the captions for the queen's gambit gifsets being quotes from beth's mother when most of the advice/lessons she passed on to beth a) were proven clearly wrong by the narrative and b) severely traumatized her

“Chess isn't always competitive. Chess can also be beautiful.”

♟️ Walter Tevis, The Queen's Gambit

"I don't know why my body is so intent on sabotaging my brain, when my brain is perfectly capable of sabotaging itself." — The Queen's Gambit (2020)

"...and she was too old to be called a prodigy anymore." - The queen's gambit, Walter Tevis

[The Queen's Gambit]

Idk why it bothers me so much when people are like dead on the floor SHOCKED when I tell them I’ve never had a boyfriend.

“Never once in your life?” No never once, that’s what I mean when I say I’ve never had a boyfriend. Never as in never, I’m not exaggerating. 28 years old and single every day.

“Well why not?” Gee thanks, that’s awesome, now I either have to trot out all the reasons ranging from time, distance, lack of desire, or depression that’s prevented me from having or looking for a boyfriend in my 10+ years of eligibility OR I have to admit that maybe I’m just not that desireable. If I go for the latter I will inevitably be argued with, usually by someone who either hasn’t had to navigate the modern dating landscape or who’s already in a relationship. It’s not even necessarily that I’m ugly, it’s just my particular set of physical traits combined with my autism awkwardness and inability to connect and flirt fluidly with people means most times I’m just not really a guy’s cup of tea. I don’t blame them, but I’m aware of what I look like and how I come across.

“Have guys at least approached you?” Yes and it’s not the approaching that’s the issue. Tons of guys I don’t want have approached me, don’t my desires matter? And even if I admit my standards or desires are too high, that I’m punching above my weight, I would never want to lower my requirements just to have something and be miserable with it. I’d rather be alone than disappointed. Plus when a guy I’m interested in approaches me, doesn’t mean it’ll pan out to anything, as none of them have yet! Both of us have to be the person the other desires in their life, and that’s such a narrow possibility and dating is such a numbers and opportunity and luck game that I’m not surprised I’m not winning.

I also wish that when I said it I wasn’t automatically pitied by the other party, because then I either have to allow myself to wallow in how sad it all is and accept some goofy platitude like “well I’m sure the right guy is out there for you,” or I have to pretend it doesn’t bother me, at which point people seem to think I’m cold or weird for being unbothered that I’ve never been loved enough to date. I wish people could just take it as a statement of fact, as simple and mundane as saying you’ve never broken a bone.

“Oh I’ve never had a boyfriend.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.” And then the conversation moves on. I don’t want to dwell on it or discuss it or think tank problem-shoot it. I don’t really want to talk about it at all.

CDP라니. 힙함의 끝이다(...☆) 최근에 저장한 마음에 드는 짤들. 역시 출처는 핀터레스트(Pinterest). 올리는 김에 이외에도 자잘한 잡설을 써보자면.

'킬링 타임' 용으로 보는 핀터레스트는 흥미로운 거 반, 안 봤으면 싶은 불쾌한 이슈 거리가 있어 싫은 거 반이다. 다시 쓰면 또 생각날까 봐 쓰기도 찝찝하지만, 근친상간 죄로 미국에서 총살 사건 있었다면서요. 그것도 별 생각 없이 눌러봤다가 너무 자극적인 잔상 때문에 며칠 내내 생각난다. (호기심에 찾아보실 분들은 말리고 싶습니다) 으아악, 괜히 들어갔어!

또 '인어공주' 실사화한 거 있죠. 이렇게 잡음이 많이 날 걸 몰랐을 리도 없고. 어그로 전략인가... 지금 이 영화가 흥행 중이다/아니다, 이렇게 의견이 분분한데 나라마다 다른가 보다. 일단 미국은 백퍼 흥행했을 거라 봅니다. 제발 디즈니는 정신 좀 차렸으면.

그리고 요즘 글을 쓰면 뭔가 비판하는 투가 많이 나오는 느낌? 평소에 성격 자체도 그렇긴 하지만. 그런데 이렇게 혼자 고민하는 건 쓸데없는 걱정일 확률이 98%이기 때문에 넘기련다.

Beth: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder Benny right now.

Jolene: There is no chess in prison.

Beth: Thank you.

Her mind was luminous, and her soul sang to her in the sweet moves of chess.

Walter Tevis, Queen’s Gambit